#calling me selfish because i dont wanna do something for you when im dealing with other shit

[this-is-just-here-for-venting]

parents when you have a life outside of doing chores for them and picking up their mess

[this-is-fox-speaking]

hi i’m late to the hatchetfield lore but i just wanna rant about smthn really quick.

what did mr president whatshisface (i cant remember his name like ever, last names aren’t my strong suit for characters) make a deal for?

at first me and a friend assumed it was the same deal stephanie had to go through: sacrifice the thing you cherish most. we assumed he had sacrificed his wife/stephanie’s mother for his position of power, perhaps. but that doesn’t actually make sense, when you think about it a bit more. because there’s a difference in both stephanie and her father’s cases, if this theory is true in any capacity.

if the president sacrificed his wife for his own gain, that’s a selfish act. stephanie sacrificing peter was a selfless act, for the greater good. the first being a selfish act means his wife wouldn’t be what he cherished most. what he cherishes most would be himself.

the lords in black are sadistic creatures. the epitome of knowing they can do whatever they please to these humans, and make them bend to their will. if anything, i imagine they specifically make whatever deal they feel at the moment. this is supported by the christmas list line from wiggly, himself, to me. it’s a good reference to black friday, sure, but think about it. a christmas list is something temporary, an at the time list of things you want at the moment. so it’s simply a scene of wiggly saying “what do i want most at this time?” because he knows he can get whatever he wants. so do all the other lords in black.

they could’ve easily made an entirely different deal with the president. what’s interesting about the president, too, in comparison with the lords in black, is that he doesn’t care for anyone but himself. truly, he’s what her cherishes most. he’ll do whatever he can, and force others to do whatever he wants em to (like forcing stephanie to act like a good daughter for his image and nothing more) at any cost. well, almost any cost. see, despite all of this of his character he is afraid of the lords in black. they took something from him so drastic he refuses to ever make a deal with them again, and pushes this new deal into stephanie specifically. so it isn’t a question of mr president working for the lords in black. he asked for something, and gave something in return. but with all of this, there’s nothing i can really guess at this time of what it could’ve possibly been. i could be reading too deeply into all of it, but at the same time.. starkid’s hatchetfield tales (specifically nightmare time) have never been ones to miss or forget details easily.

so with all of this, it’s impossible to guess. the president only cares about his image, will do anything to keep it- especially to his own daughter, to the living lives of others even- but will not make another deal with the black lords ever again. he’s only done it once. he clearly does not work for them. he, himself- his position, his ego, whatever you can count specifically- is what he cherishes most. wiggly doesn’t need anything to be powerful, he simply toys with the humans who dare call his and his brothers names. the president is not selfish enough to make another deal with the black lords.

what kind of deal did he make with them?

edit from fox fully caught up on nightmare time and seeing the notes: IM AWARE I GOT HIS NAME WRONG I DONT THINK ABOUT THE MAYOR MUCH. OR AT ALL. SORRY YALL

[forestryfae]

and he fucking brings up grandma and telling me i should call her and like. yeah okay i know her health is bad but like what the fuck am i supposed to do about that. i cant talk to mom, shes fucking cruel and heartless and i cant fucking talk to her about anything, the way she talks about the whole thing is just fucking ruthlessly shitty and its like its designed to hurt. i cant talk to dad either cus he just doesnt care. he doesnt wanna fucking talk about it, hell just dump it all on someone else like he did when i was getting bullied in highschool and he got a friend of his to talk to me instead of like. talking to me himself or fucking fixing shit istead of pushing that responsibility on everyone around him so he doesnt have to deal with it. anything to avoid having to be a parent or having to talk about stuff. and my stepmom is almost a bad as my mom ngl she fucking makes theories about whats wrong with grandma and talks about it like its gossip or some shit, will not shut the fuck up and rags it on longer than it needs to be, and its so fucking infuriating.

like. its not like anyones asked me how im doing about the whole situation or asks me how im feeling. no fucking "are you okay" or "what are you thinking" or "how does it make you feel" in any genuine actually worthwhile way or any questions about how it might make me feel to talk about it or anything. no matter what i say theyll just try to brush it off or act like i have nothing to worry about or some shit etherway cus im not allowed to be upset or have emotions afterall, and the world doesnt revolve around me, it revolves around them and im selfish for not managing or caring about their feelings when its THEIR FUCKING JOB TO CARE ABOUT MINE. THEYRE PARENTS. THEYRE SUPPOSED TO CARE ABOUT ME, I SHOULDNT BE MANAGING THEIR EMOTIONS BY SHUTTING TEH FUCK UP ALL THE TIME AND DEALING WITH THEIR EMOTIONAL OUTBURSTS AND SHIT.

as if it wasnt fucking bad enough that i was taught any emotions that dont align with what they want me to feel or that dont validate them arent allowed, im supposed to do exactly as they want and no other option is allowed. cus then im an asshole and im selfish, self centered, egoistic, spoiled, brat, "angry" "all the time", and in general "nobody cares" and "nobody feels fucking sorry for you" and thats just what im supposed to deal with all the time? i cant have emotions or be upset so i become a fucking doormat to please evryone but if i dont stand up for myself its my own fault im unhappy, but when i do stand up for myself im completely ignored and i get run over and i cant have everything exactly as i want it all the time cus the people around me have their own lives, but when i suddenly dont want visitors or i dont answer peoples calls or i dont engage or i dont visit its all "you can just call us or visit us". why the fuck would i want to spend time with a bunch of overgrown toddlers who dont want whats best for me and who actively shut me down any time i try to exist like a normal person. they literally treat me like a fucking dog. like weve HAD a dog and they just fed it and put it on a leash in the garden and that was p much it. dad actually didnt even feed it after the divorce i think? im pretty sure he forgot cus he expected US to do it? I WAS FUCKING EIGHT OR SOME SHIT. why would an eight year old with neglectful shitty parents know that theyre supposed to feed the dog. id get yelled at for literally anything i did if my mom or dad didnt like it to the point where i dont even know as an adult whether im allowed or not allowed to do things specifically because What If Someone Gets Mad At Me For Doing This Even Though They Shouldn't Get Mad For This But What If.

like even at inpatient, theres food in the kitchen. theres food and theres bread and sandwich stuff and theres even leftovers in the other fridge sometimes and if the kitchen isnt gonna be used anytime soon i can even cook myself something, like if i buy a pizza or i have a bag of macaroni. ive even been offered the option to make salads for lunch and i feel like THE MOST selfish bitch for having the audacity to need food or have certain issues with food that make me need to eat differently than most other people. i feel fucking bad just for asking for bread i can eat without gagging. i feel like im being judged HARSHLY when i eat fucking nutella. i almost have to hide candy or anything sweet like chocolate cus im afraid ill have to have the "you eat too much sugar" talk again as if its THAT easy just walking into the kitchen and eating.

so yeah anyways, my parens fucking suck and i want to yell at them every time i talk to them but i have the patience of a fucking saint cus thats the nly thing im allowed to have without any repercussions so i just have to shut up and wait to get home so i can finally go back to being a semi-normal person.

[kisslettrs]

haikyuu characters talking after a fight with their s/o

featuring: lev, kuroo, suna

a/n: first post woo! hope you enjoy this ! ALSO UM. THEY TURNED OUT TO BE SO MUCH LONGER THAN I THOUGHT THEYD BE??? ESPECIALLY KUROOS LMAO THEYRE NEVER THIS LONG I PROMISE DONT GET YOUR HOPES UP OR VICE VERSA. also not beta read soz 💔

warnings: none i don’t think? relationship fights ig. oh and angsty with some gushy shit at the end for each of them 💞

→ HAIBIA LEV

you and lev rarely get into fights. only small complains about his behavior and him whining, or friendly petty arguments. but last night was different... I guess you could say.

lev was always pretty immature and playful yeah, but sometimes it felt like he never took anything seriously. it felt as though he never took him and your relationship seriously. especially now, when you decided to confront him about it.

“why are you laughing...?” you asked, staring at him

“i-i’m sorry, y/n honey, i just...!” he said, covering his mouth as a half assed attempt to keep in his laughter.

“lev, i know it’s just in your nature to act like this but I’m being genuine. i’m not joking, please. you’re doing it again! please just listen—!”

you were cut off again by the sounds of your significant other’s laughter, causing all your frustration to let loose.

“lev haiba!”

he immediately stopped, before looking at you in the eyes, his thin pupils meeting yours.

“i’m sorry. but lev, please can you just take me seriously for once?! i love you, but you need to understand that you can’t just—!” you frailed your hand around, motioning towards him, you, whatever this scene was. “—you can’t just do this all the time I—!”

before you could finish, your mind had been too pent up with frustration. “nevermind...” you grabbed your bag, before rushing out the door, not giving him the chance to talk.

fast forward next day, and you checked your phone.

[32 new messages from favorite dork ����]

you sigh heavily, before letting the cold feeling of guilt claw at the back of your head. you hadn’t mean to make lev worry, you just needed your time alone. although if you did have to be honest with yourself, leaving without a ‘i love you,’ or hell even just a ‘bye’ was cruel.

as you opened your messages, you were bombarded with messages of pleas and apologizes that were sent at 9:21 PM last night, moments after you left his house. the guilt swallowed your stomach again, your hands slowly typing; “it’s ok hun. really. I love you too.” and pressing send.

you threw your phone onto your bed, before deciding to get ready. you and lev never really saw each other much since you two were in different grades, he was a first year, you were a second. you both had to wait after school, or well... maybe moments after. your phone buzzed a few times, but you decided to ignore it. it was too early.

schools over, and you’re walking home. you were gonna talk to lev today, just not now. you didn’t wanna interrupt his volleyball training just for some stupid relationship issue. as soon as you reach home however, you see a familiar tall figure fidgeting on his phone.

“...lev?” you called out, causing the silver haired boy to whip his head around, his eyes lighting up. “Y/N!”

he quickly shoved his phone inside his pocket, before running up to you and embracing you in a warm hug, shaking you a little. “y/n! y/n! i’m sorry for being stupid last night, I’m sorry, i’m so sorry.” he was squeezing you tight, and god did it hurt hearing his voice break like that.

“lev, sweetie, i told you it’s okay, really.” you spoke, caressing his back. he seemed to stay still for a moment, before speaking once again. “is this okay? me holding you like this, is this okay or do you... need space?”

you smiled softly. it made you happy lev wanted to make sure he wasn’t overstepping any of your boundaries. you felt your other arm hold him. “yeah, this is okay.” you swore you could feel him smile out of relief.

“i’m... i’m sorry again y/n honey, it’s just hard for me, i don’t...” he paused. “it’s just...difficult for me to handle situations like that.” you nuzzled into his shoulder. “it’s okay, you dork. i understand.” you reassured him again.

“but—!” he pushed back, meeting your eyes. “i’m gonna try...i’m gonna try harder. i’m gonna try to be better, for you y/n! i love you so much... i’ll do my best.” god, this dork. no wonder you loved him so much. you cupped his cheeks. “i’ll do better too lev, i won’t be as mean again. i promise, i love you too, so much.”

and with that, both of your faces met, and the two of you kissed lightly.

→ KUROO TETSURO

you and kuroo get into small arguments here and there like every other couple, and whenever you do you two usually recover quickly. you both like to call them ‘squicks.’

however, that night there was no denying that wasn’t any other normal squick you two had. no, that was a fight.

kuroo and you haven’t had a moment alone that wasn’t just you and him walking back home, and it’s been making you upset. so uh, that night you decided to confront him about it.

yeah it didn’t go well uhh

“i know we’re like, a couple y/n. but honey you have to understand i’m busy. you have friends don’t you? go hang out with them or something.”

“yeah, i know kuroo, and trust me i’m happy for you! but you’ve been so distant, we haven’t had a moment alone that lasted more than 5 minutes for like, 2 months! it wasn’t a big deal then, but i miss you and i’m worried.”

you paused, before continuing. “don’t you wanna spend some time with me? just, for like 30 minutes? don’t you miss me?”

“i do, y/n. i miss you and i love you. but like i said i’m busy with volleyball, you aren’t my top priority right now.”

“it’s been 2 months kuroo!” you shouted, causing him to widen his eyes. “don’t you understand? i’m not asking for your top attention, I’m asking for you to give me 25% of it at least!”

it was quiet for a moment. “sorry.” was all he said, before turning around his eyes focused on the volleyball between his feet.

you felt hurt and frustrated. “you know what? fine.” he immediately went back to look at you, seeing you grab your bag. “see you whenever you feel like to acknowledge my existence, I guess. bye.”

as soon as you touched the doorknob, you could hear him get up and say the words ‘wait, baby wait—‘ but you had enough. you needed to air out your head of the tension and frustration of the house and you left. you felt tears peak at the corner of your eyes as soon as you did.

next day, and you’ve been feeling shittier than usual. as soon as you woke up, you turned to make you lay on your back, staring at your ceiling and thinking; “was i too harsh? am i being too selfish? too clingy?”

you loved what your boyfriend did and you were perfectly fine with him having his time to himself. you knew you weren’t his top priority and he wasn’t yours. but 2 months with little to no communication felt too long. was it wrong to want to spend at least 30 minutes with your boyfriend? was that too much to ask for?

the anxiety raced to your head again. what if you were being too clingy. maybe kuroo had the right to be upset too. you were being too selfish, stop thinking of yourself so often. you curled up into your side. you didn’t want to think about it, and you didn’t want to see him in the halls either. you didn’t even wanna check your phone to see if you messaged you.

you decided to skip, staying home, watching TV and playing some games. you couldn’t mentally handle seeing him. at least not for right now.

some time passes by, and your phone is buzzing. you checked the time from the small clock on your wall, seeing the handles pointing towards 4:30 PM. oh wow, after school clubs should be over too.

you grabbed your phone to see who it’s by, knowing deep down it was who you thought it was.

[23 new messages by Hubby 😾💗]

[Kyanma: uhh hey y/n? did something...]

[2 missed calls by Hubby 😾💗]

choosing to ignore kuroo for now, you swiped at Kenma’s notification and read the full message.

[Kyanma: uhh hey y/n? did something happen with kuroo that youre aware of??? he seemed so much more down than usual during practice.

you: no. we rarely talk anymore because of practice lol I guess.

Kyanma: ???

Kyanma: Did something happen between YOU two?

you: we had a fight. im not really in the mood to talk to him. I skipped school. itll be back to normal in a few more days, sorry for the inconvenience snchsychsj

Kyanma: you two should resolve that. like seriously. hope u two feel better tho, bye✌️

you: we will hopefully lol bye kenma !!]

sighing, you placed your phone down on the small coffee table infront of you, but as soon did, you heard a knock coming from your front door. humming in response, you got up and made your way towards the front door, but decided to look through the peephole to make sure it wasn’t some scammer person or creep.

well, it was neither of those two but it was in fact no one else other than kuroo tetsuro. you sighed heavily again, before unlocking the door and turning the knob opening up to your boyfriend.

“hey y/n.”

“hi kuroo.”

you folded your arms, deciding to put up a strong facade, pretending you weren’t mentally screaming and that anxiety wasn’t clawing at your back. “did you forget something or...?”

kuroo brought his hand to the back of neck, awkwardly scratching it. “yeah uh...” he looked around, not wanting to make eye contact. “um. listen y/n.” he made his way to grab your hands, holding them together. “i’m sorry. i really am.”

“please don’t touch me. not right now at least...” even though you seemed so desperate for his touch the other night, you really did need your space. kuroo seemed alarmed at first, quickly swiping his hands back, wanting to respect your space. “of course baby! i’m sorry for acting too soon.”

you watched him scramble around a bit, finding it a bit cute. “can I come inside?” he asked. you nodded, and both of you went inside and sat to your coach.

“like I said y/n. i know ive been distant, and ive missed you so much. god, do I miss you. i wanna hug you and cuddle you so bad but volleyball and the nationals have been bugging me i couldn’t have find the proper time. i’m just scared... and I...”

“kuroo.” you said. his head snatched upwards, looking at you. you were gonna say something as soon as he did but the look he gave you caught you off guard. he looked like a cat pleading.

as soon as you pushed away the thoughts of him being stupidly adorable, you continued your sentence. “I understand, and i’m sorry for being too clingy. i just miss you a lot. i’m willing to wait for you, baby.” as soon as you said that, you saw his eyes pierce through your soul. fuck did I say something wrong.

before you could say anything else, it was kuroo’s turn to speak. “no baby. it’s alright, you aren’t the one at fault here it was me. i’m sorry for not listening to you that night. i’m gonna be a better boyfriend, i’m gonna be the boyfriend you deserve through and through.”

fucking idiot, i’m the one who was supposed to say sorry, not you! You didn’t say anything for a moment, before laughing lightly. “babe? i love you but i have to be the one who takes at least, 50% of the fault. it’s okay, i love you and i forgive you. and i’m happy for what you’re doing and how far you’ve come.” you placed your hand on his. “you can touch me now.”

his eyes immediately lit up, his lips curving into a smile and you swore you could see tears start forming in his eyes before he launched himself onto you. “my god y/n, how did i get so lucky. i love you so much, i love you so much.” he hugged you tight. you laughed. “i love you too kuroo. so much, i love you so much. i’m the lucky one.”

he pulled away and brought you to a kiss. before you could respond, he asked, “are you free saturday?”

→ SUNA RINTARO

while suna and you disagreed on a lot of things from time to time, you two usually both came to a mutual agreement and it wasn’t anything big.

but lately he seemed even more off than usual. communication was such a huge thing between both of you, but he seemed to just not be...cooperating?

suna is someone who doesn’t like expressing his emotions. and as his significant other, you felt like understanding him was a priority. but you just didn’t sometimes and it made you worry. him being distant did not help.

one day when you decided to bring it up, the situation got a bit... out of hand

“what?” he asked.

you shrugged your shoulders. “i don’t know. suna i care for you, and you just never helping me understand makes me extremely upset! i know it’s hard for you, but...”

you could feel him roll his eyes. “i don’t know what you’re going on about y/n,” he looked at you. “but really, i’m fine. do you not trust me to talk to you or something?”

“no..!” you denied. “listen. youve been getting more and more tired each day and i could tell. you’ve been ghosting me too.”

“...what?” he basically hissed it. “i’m not an asshole y/n. nothing is wrong. why do you keep trying to butt your head into my life every second?” his voice began to raise.

this was rare. even when he did raise his voice at you, it was never filled with negative intent but this time...

“i can take care of myself, y/n. i don’t need you and your noisy nose in my business all the time. sorry if you feel like you’re on baby sitting duty, but you really don’t need to be so clingy and emotional all the time...”

well damn. his words hurt. a lot.

“sorry for caring for you then, damn...” you grumble under your breath. you quickly grabbed your house keys and bags. he perked his head up. “y/n? where are you going?”

you didn’t reply. “y/n!” you rolled your eyes, trying to ignore the pain in your chest and stomach, before opening the door and leaving.

as soon as you woke up, your head hurt more than usual. those words must’ve hit you deeper than they should’ve, huh?

maybe i was just being too clingy, you thought, and those thoughts hadn’t left your mind the whole morning. whatever, you’ll just apologize after school.

you haven’t seen suna at all that day, not on the walk to school, not in the halls, not in his classroom. he was... nowhere. when you went to the volleyball club after school, asking if any of the members had seen him all of them replied with a simple ‘no.’

kita specically had been giving you long glances ever since you arrived. once you finally reached him, instead of denying seeing your boyfriend, he told you, “he wasn’t in school at all i assume. maybe he’s at home.”

home? why would he be home? maybe he was feeling sick...

you bowed and thanked him and the rest of the teammates before leaving. on your way home, you decided to stop by a connivence store and buy him his favorite snack, chuupet. or well, just jelly fruit snacks. you bought 2 packs for you and him, hoping it was a good time to apologize.

you walked up to his house, knocked lightly on the door and was greeted by his mother. “ah~ greetings y/n!” you smiled lightly and gave her a wave. “good afternoon! say, is rintaro home?” you asked. she nodded, moving to the side as a way to invite you in the house. “he should be in his room!”

“thank you!” you bowed quickly before making your way up the stairs. as soon as you passed by his sisters room, there you were infront of his. with your free hand, you lightly held a fist and began knocking on his door.

“suna? rintaro?” you called out. you would call him by a sweet pet name but remembering last night, you didn’t wanna break any boundaries. the room was quiet, and though you really didn’t wanna disturb him, you wanted to make sure he was okay. as soon as you did, however, you were greeted by a sight that broke your heart.

suna rintaro, the boy you loved so much, had his hair messier than usual, his eyes seemed red from crying and he was up against his bed frame, his phone in his hand. when he looked up, he saw you, his eyes widening.

“...y-y/n?” you stood there frozen. “rintaro...honey my god,” you quickly went up to him. “what happened?” you looked at him, his gaze looking down. you wanted to hug him so bad, but yet again, that argument you had last night prevented you from anything.

“hey. listen, sweetie. i got your favorite.” you held up the 2 bags of jelly fruit gummies. “it’s gonna be okay, okay? i’m here.” he was just looking at you, not saying anything, before muttering something under his breath.

“huh? what was that? i didn’t hear you hon, what’s up?” you asked, making sure to keep your distance. suna choked back a sob, before launching himself onto you, almost knocking you into the ground. “w-woah there!”

“y/n... i’m sorry i’m so sorry. i’ve been so frustrated with school... exams... volleyball and i’ve missed you so much but i was so tired that night! i lashed out on you but i didn’t mean any of it. i promise, i promise, don’t leave me please.” he sobbed quietly, his head resting against your forehead. when you looked up, you could see him squeezing his eyes shut.

wow, this was even more rare.

you brought your arms to his neck, embracing him. “it’s okay rintaro. shh, it’s gonna be okay. i love you and i’m sorry for being upset, i just worry about you.” you rubbed his back lightly as he continued sobbing, allowing you to give him a few kisses on the cheek, neck and forehead. “you’re safe, you’re gonna be okay honey. i love you so much.” you repeated.

suna never showed his emotions much, but he seemed to have a lot of pent up anger, sadness and confusion up in him, and he let it out for an hour infront of you, there to comfort him.

as soon as he stopped, you and him were snuggling on his bed watching whatever was on his TV, eating the fruit snacks. he leaned onto your head. “i love you...please, don’t leave me. i’m sorry.”

you bumped your head back onto him. “stop apologizing. i keep telling you it’s okay.” you giggled lightly. “please sweetie, talk to me so this doesn’t happen again.” he only nodded silently, before drifting to sleep in your embrace.

[mizunetzu]

haha it's me again! could i get iida dating a delinquent male reader? (stuff like he smokes and breaks rules) like iidas trying to get the reader to follow the rules and he's like "i'll do that if you go on a date with me" so he does and the readers actually a really chill guy and they have a fun time, some fluff please?

IIDA DUDE MY GOD. MY RELIGION. MY SAVIOR. ok. Okok so. You said fluff and I delivered. But like-I mayyyyybe sprinkled in some angst. No worries. Fluff ending guaranteed. Also you know I enjoyed writing something when I broke my 1000 words rule. Like sheesh this is 3000 pLUS WORDS-

Also if iidareaders reblogs I’ll eat my shirt in joy

——————

Iida x reader - Selfish Promise

⚠️warnings - delinquent reader? Selfish-y Iida? Idk. None lmao

Pronouns - male, he/him

——————

(Y/n) wasn’t going to lie. Iida really got on his nerves. He’s always up his ass about sagging his pants down low, or running in the hallways. It’s not like it was his business. He was in class 1-B, for god sakes.

Everyone in 1-A knew him as that “1-B boy” who always liked fucking with Iida. And he did, it was fun to see him get all pissy and red when he unbuttoned his dress shirt to the point you could easily flash him if you tugged hard enough. Iida was pretty, but even more pretty when he’s flustered. He wasn’t going to deny the fluttery feeling in his chest when he sees an opportunity to interact with Iida.

Which is how (y/n) found himself smoking outside the UA dorms, sitting outside on the steps and staring up at the sky. He didn’t smoke much, only when he really needed to destress, but something felt compelling to just pull one out today.

He already heard the engine boosted footsteps hurling his way, a smile growing on his lips. Once the blue haired boy was in sight however, he wiped it off and replaced it with a neutral expression.

“You shouldn’t be smoking on school property, (L/n)-kun!”

“Mm? And you shouldn’t be on 1-Bs dorms. Wait til Vlad or Monoma finds out.”

Iida stumbled back, biting back the scowl forming on his face. He took the cigarette out from (y/n’s) fingers, and stomped on it. (Y/n) clicked his tongue as Iida hiked his glasses up his nose further.

“Stop acting like such a ruffian!”

“Then go on a date with me.”

Iida choked on his own spit. He knew that (y/n) joked around a lot, but this was just excessive.

“(L-L/n), you shouldn’t joke about such intimate matters like that with someone you barely kn-“

“I’m not joking.” (Y/n) stood up from his step, and stood infront of the taller boy. “I’m dead serious.”

Iida opened his mouth, then closed it. “(L/n) it is highly inappropriate for two students, let alone boys, to go on a romantic outing! This is a place for learning!”

“How bout we make a promise then? A deal if you must.” (Y/n) seemed completely calm, but inside he was sweating like a clam. He had said it on impulse, and there was no going back. Either sell it till he declines or hell, he has a date.

“If you be my boyfriend and go out with me for one full day, I’ll stop acting like a ‘ruffian’ or something. I’ll follow the rules and whatnot.”

“B-boyf...” Iidas words got caught in his mouth. “W-WHY?”

“I’m not going to try anything...! It’s..it’s just for my own...reasons...! If...that makes sense...”

Iida ran a hand through his hair. Did (L/n), a delinquent, like-like him? A proper former man from the Iida family? He wasn’t romantically attracted to the shorter boy at all, but this was a good chance! He could finally be set on the right path if he agreed to be his significant other for one day! Easy enough!

Iida pushed up his glasses once more. “Fine. I will do it. But afterwards you better keep your end of the bargain.”

(Y/n) held the tiniest smile and extended his pinky. Iida looked at him confused, before hesitantly interlocking their fingers and shaking it.

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

“Gimme your number. I’ll text you the info later.” They exchanged phone numbers, and Iida bid him goodbye.

(Y/n) felt like he was on top of the world.

—————

“Oi Iida! Over here!” (Y/n) waved his arms around frantically, trying to get the boys attention. Iida spotted him, and made a beeline towards him. He gave a smile and bowed slightly.

“Good morning, (L/n)-kun.”

“Morning! Haha, I’m glad you came! I didn’t think you’d actually show...and you’re on time aswell! As expected of uptight iida.”

(Y/n) was in a pink, slightly oversized hoodie and black sweatpants. Iida was expecting him to be in full black, ripped clothing with skulls on it. He wasn’t expecting him to look so...soft? If you looked at him, you wouldn’t think he was the same person smoking on the steps of a prestigious school.

“Oh well, what time did you get here?”

“An hour ago.”

Iida deadpanned. Even he wasn’t that extra. “Why...”

(Y/n) rubbed the back of his neck shyly and chuckled. “I was so happy I couldn’t wait, ahaha!”

(Y/n’s) probably smiled more times today then the whole time he’s been enrolled into UA. It was an odd sight, but Iida felt a sort of proudness that he was probably the only one who got to see this side of him. He glanced at his face one more time, this time, looking at his red eyes and cheeks.

“...are your eyes swollen..?”

“Oh I...I couldn’t sleep...”

(Y/n) awkwardly chuckled for the 100th time that morning. Iida was about to go on a tangent about how sleep is important to you, but (y/n) suddenly grabbed his wrist, and pulled him forwards. He was practically dragging the poor boy.

“Is there anything specific you wanna do, Iida?” (Y/n) mused, looking around the plaza.

Iida shrugged.

“No, not really. Today’s more of your day, so I’m fine with anything.”

A bright red painted itself onto (y/n’s) cheeks, as he turned back around to hide it. It was usually iida getting all red and flustered, (y/n) wasn’t used to it. Still, it felt kinda nice.

“Awesome dude!”

(Y/n) went on rambling about places they could go to or eat at, but Iidas ears drowned out the noice as he looked at his smiling face. He didn’t know someone so...rude, could look so sweet. (Y/n) tugged at Iidas shoulder.

“...though I suppose, we could just go to a field and train, right?”

—————

(Y/n) got back up to his feet for the 5th time, and charged at Iida. He knew he couldn’t beat him with speed, so he’d have to rely on his quirk as much as he could. They were sparring in a little patch of grass near a small clearing, with a big tree providing the two boys shade. Iida swerved out of the way, making the smaller boy tumble onto the ground face first.

“Ah! (Y/n)! Are you okay?”

Iida rushed to the boys side and tangled his fingers in his hair. “It’s a little swollen but it’s not bleedi...(L/n)-kun...?”

(Y/n) hid his blush with the back of his hands and tensed up. “You..called me...(y/n)...dude..”

It was Iidas turn to tense up. His glasses fogged up as he swung his arms around madly. “IM TERRIBLY SORRY! IT WAS AN ACCIDENT, I SWEAR! IJUSTGOTWORRIEDANDSAIDITONACCIDEN-“

“Dude it’s fine! I-I dont mind..!” (Y/n) jabbed him lightly on the chest.

“L-let me treat you to some food! As apology for your head I mean!” Iida stood up, pulling (y/n) to his feet aswell.

—————

(Y/n) was rambling on nervously again, with chopsticks resting nimbly between his fingers. Iida couldn’t help but gaze at his face. His eyes were softer than he expected, softer than the mockingly hardened eyes he pointed like a sword towards people at UA. His gentle clad smile could raise the heavens, with one crinkle near his left eye and a dimple dangerously close to the corner of his mouth. He had unusually long eyelashes for a guy, but it made him look even more pretty for a bad boy.

“Why are you a delinquent at school when you’re such a sweet and funny person?” The words dripped out of Iidas mouth unconsciously, quickly covering his mouth too late.

(Y/n) flushed bright red, squeezing his chopsticks a little too tightly. “W-well...I don’t know. It’s not like I’m doing it on purpose. People just think I am because i don’t like socializing with everyone I meet? Like-id rather hang out with someone I know and like than go out of my my way to befriend all of class B, y’know? Does that make sense? Ahaha sorry I’m rambling again. I don’t get to talk much with my few friends. And they’ve pretty much heard everything I have to say so it’s refreshingtotalktoa-“

Iida cut him off before he talked his tongue off. “If you don’t talk to people you don’t know well, then why are you talking to me so openly?”

“Because I like you.”

(Y/n) said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world. He wasn’t tripping over his words, or laughing nervously. He looked at Iida and said it like saying “the sky is blue” with so much certainty, it made a knot tighten in iidas throat.

Iidas question was, why though? Why did his heart thump along the buttery smooth rhythm of (y/n’s) voice? Why did his head reel every time he saw (y/n’s) eyes light up talking about something he found interesting? Why was he at such a loss for words when his gaze fell on him so attentively?

Iida cleared his throat. Maybe he was just excited to have a new friend. He didn’t see him in a romantic light! How could he? He’s just worked up on the fact that this hardass delinquent boy wasn’t who he thought he was.

“Shall we go, then?”

————

The date went by like a dream. Technically it wasn’t over yet, as the promise was for a full “day”, but window shopping and dicking around while Iida chops aggressively really tires you out. They both ended the day by sparring at the same clearing, before taking refuge on a bus stop bench. The sun was completely gone. Leaving behind the pasty purple and blue sky, washing over and killing the clouds.

“Ahhh, time flies by so fast! Damn, well, the days still not yet over soooo.”

“Yes, yes I know.” Iida chuckled. He thought he was going to have to bear through this day, but it was actually quite splendid. He definitely feels like he’s made a new friend.

“Well, is there anything you wish to do before the day is over?”

“Yeah um, so,” (y/n) cast his eyes down, fiddling with his fingers. “C-can we hold hands..?”

Iida wordlessly set his hand on top of (y/n’s) smaller one, waiting as he interlocked their fingers together. His hand was warm, way warmer than (y/n) was expected. He didn’t know, Iida seemed like a cold hands guy.

They sat quietly under the ambient streetlight, occasionally rubbing a thumb over the others hand, feeling it’s warmth and staring off into the distance. Iida didn’t notice his eyes drooping lower and lower until they were finally closed.

Iida let his thoughts roam. It was something he did when he was going to bed, or simply just resting his eyes for a bit. He thought of his family, what he would do for class on Monday, and finally, (y/n). It was the most prominent thing on his mind, and not because he was unconsciously resting his head on his shoulder, softly but firmly gripping the warm hand underneath his own.

The idea of (y/n) so soft and vulnerable in front of anyone else didn’t sit right with him. He wanted that sweet, kind side all to himself. It was selfish, and even wrong if he thought about it. (Y/n) was so sweet and respectable during this “date” of theirs. Perfect manners for when inside the classroom. If anything, he should be more than glad to have the world share this side of him.

So why was he feeling this way?

He felt a shoulder nudge from under his head, before a hand started vigorously poking at his cheek. He initially ignored it, but once he registered the current situation he jerked up and

“Iida. Iida wake up. It’s 11:40. We should be heading back before midnight. A-at least I want to so we can um...we can still technically legally hold hands by promise-“

Iida rubbed at his eyes in embarrassment. “My sincerest apologies for falling asleep! It was not my intention-“

”oh no it’s all good! I-I kinda fell asleep too. It’s been like...2 hours.”

Iida checked his watch. (Y/n) was right. 11:45 pm. He knocked his glasses up higher on the bridge of his nose and stood up. He extended a hand to (y/n) who tiredly accepted it and pulled himself off the bench.

They spedwalked towards the train station to catch a train back to UA, when (y/n) tugged on his sleeve, halting temporarily.

“Iida.”

Iida turned around with a hum. (Y/n) kept his eyes fixated on the ground, but held on to the sleeve of Iidas jacket like a lifeline.

“Today...is almost over.”

“Yes, um, it’s about 11:57 so we should hurry back-“

“Before the day officially ends,...can you kiss me?”

Iida focused on (y/n’s) downcast face. It wasn’t an expression of nervousness or any sort of flustered emotion. Instead it held a look of unreadable shame.

“If you do, then I would have no regrets. My feelings for you will also end here. I’ll try my best to end it. My feelings grow stronger for you everyday when we bicker or when I simply just see you, so I want to end this with a grand fina-“

“I refuse.”

(Y/n) looked up. Iida glasses glared white, preventing him from seeing his cerulean eyes. But he got his answer from the frown Iida was sporting on his face. Even he could agree, it was a silly request, but he couldn’t help by feeling just a tad bit hurt by how quickly he was shut down.

“I understand.”

(Y/n) averted his eyes, flushing with embarrassment. He scanned the area for something other than Iida to look at, before his eyes landed on the parks clock.

12 am.

Midnight.

The date was officially over.

(Y/n) was quick to let go of the sleeve he’d been clutching for a while now. “A-ah! The day has ended. The dates over.”

He stepped back and ducked his head into a 90 degree bow. “Thank you so so much for coming with me today.”

“I’m really happy.”

His expression betrayed his words. If there was one word to describe it, Iida would say it looked dead. Hollow, even. It looked hollow, like the sinking feeling harboring itself in his chest. He knocked against his ribcage multiple times to shake the achy feeling in his chest, but it never went away.

“Well, let’s head back now. It’s late.”

(Y/n) silently walked past Iida. It wasn’t until seeing his watery face drenched in silent hot tears walk by that Iida realized,

He was in love with (L/n) (Y/n).

He was in love with the sweet delinquent boy who smokes and sits on desks, but also has the most hypnotizing laugh. He was in love with the boy who wore saggy pants to school, but also wore an oversized pink hoodie that made Iida reluctantly imagine him wearing one of his own jackets. Oh, how cute he would look.

He was hopelessly, graciously, entirely in love with (L/n) (Y/n).

Iida ran up to (y/n), who had walked past him and kept going with the assumption that he was behind him. His breath crystallized in the form of fog when he ran, faster than he ever did without using his engines. There wasn’t enough time to hike the fabric of his pants up, and he’d rather not burn them to a crisp with the steam from his engine.

“(L-L/n)!”

He wasn’t sure if he heard him. He was still a great length away.

“(L/n)!”

He was closer now. Close enough for him to hear. He was either lost in his thoughts or outright ignoring him.

“(Y/N)!”

The boy whipped his head around so fast, his tears flung into the cold air and landed beside him on the ground. Iida didn’t think far ahead as to brace for landing, choosing instead to glomp (y/n) into a soul crushing hug. Though, it was more of a tackle with the the way they both tumbled over and hit the ground with a thud.

(Y/n) was able to soften the blow with his quirk, but the impact of Iida landing on his chest still knocked the wind out of him. He was waiting for Iida to start swinging his hands and start apologizing profusely, but instead got pulled up to his knees and encased in a more gentle hug.

He was buried in the crook of Iida neck, who in return nuzzled himself into (y/n’s) hair. They stood, or rather kneeled, in a stiff silence, rocking back and forth ever so gently.

“Sorry.”

“Wah! Don’t apologize! You did nothing wrong, you had the full right to deny my request-“

“No, not for that.” Iida untangled himself from the warmth of (y/n’s) body to look at him seriously. “I’m sorry for breaking our promise. Our deal.”

(Y/n) wiped his stray tears away, all bitterness turning itself into lighthearted confusion. “But you didnt-“

(Y/n’s) words fizzled out in his throat when a pair of lips shut him up. His eyes fluttered closed as he wrapped his arms shakily around Iidas neck, drawing him closer than he already his. After what seemed like forever, Iida suddenly jumped back with fogged up glasses and heavy blush on his face.

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I wasn’t thinking! Forgive me!”

“You know, all you’ve done was apologize all day. Is this what you normally do in class?”

“NO!” Iida fell back on his ass, a yelp escaping from his throat. (Y/n) chuckled ironically, pushing himself up to his feet and extending a hand towards the blue haired boy.

“I still don’t see how you broke our deal.”

Iida dusted himself off and adjusted his glasses. “Well-listen I-“ For once in his life, he was at a loss for words.

“I...want to e-extent it. O-Our date, I mean.”

Iida stood rigid as a board as (y/n) blinked.

“Wait-so like, you’ll go out with me tomorrow?”

“Yeah.”

“And the day after that.”

“Yes I suppose so.”

“A-and how bout a week from now-“

Iida grabbed (y/n’s) shoulders and shook him roughly. And by rough, I mean rough. This boy has enough beef to throw (y/n) into the sun.

“I-I WANT TO GO OUT WITH YOU FOREVER! I WANT YOU TO BE MY BOYFRIEND! I...I WANT TO BE YOUR BOYFRIEND! I WANT YOUR KINDNESS AND SWEETNESS ALL TO MYSELF! SO BE IT YOU’RE UNINTENTIONALLY A NEGLIGENT BOY AT SCHOOL! I WANT THIS SPECIAL SIDE OF YOU RESERVED FOR MYSELF! IVE NEVER BEEN SELFISH IN MY WHOLE LIFE SO SURELY THIS IS FINE! I WANT TO BE SELFISH! I WANT TO HOLD YOU IN MY ARMS MORE! I WANT TO GO ON SOME MORE DATES WITH YOU! (Y/N)-KUN I LOVE YOU!”

Iida has never considered himself selfish. He wasn’t the type to want something all to himself. If his friends wanted to be friends with someone he disapproved of, so be it. If he bought food but a fellow classmate was starving, he’d be eating only half as his classmate would be happily munching on their portion. If it was reasonable, he’d be willing to give up anything. It was the right thing to do.

Surely all of those good deeds would permit him to be selfish just this once. He’d never known the feeling of wanting something so bad to the point you felt like you were boiling. Of wanting no one else to have someone look at them the same way they looked at him. And how utterly satisfying it felt to have someone to claim as your own. Just this once couldn’t hurt anyone.

And by god, the impossibly wide smile (y/n) held was one thousand percent worth it.

————

“Halt! No running in the hallways, (L/n)-Kun!”

(Y/n) slowed down to a stop and sighed. “Dude, get off my dick.”

“Still pestering (L/n) huh? As expected of Iida!” Mina and Uraraka giggled, as they both disappeared inside the 1-A classroom. The hallway was empty now, making both Iida and (y/n) relax. (Y/n’s) pissed off expression softened, a smile now growing on his face. Iida swears it’s like talking to two different people. It’s kind of scary.

“Good morning, Tenya-Chan~”

“Uh-uh. Don’t ‘Tenya-Chan’ me. You know the rules. You owe me a kiss for breaking a rule. Gimme.”

Iida made grabby hands at (y/n), puckering his lips jokingly. God, he didn’t want to admit it but (y/n’s) sense of humor was rubbing off on him.

(Y/n) snorted at his boyfriends antics, pressing a gentle kiss onto his mouth. “Well-I gotta go, bye bye, Tenya! See you later. Call me, you sexy lamppost.”

(Y/n) timpered off to his classroom, his bad boy attitude returning once he stepped inside. Iida stood there, in utter confusion, before turning around and walking inside his own class.

“Ne ne, Iida, I’ve noticed you’re kinda like...less strict with that 1-B baddie. What’s up?”

Mina followed behind Iida with a curious, shit eating smile on her face.

“Ah. We...became good friends. He’s not as bad as I thought, I suppose.”

Mina looked at Iida unconvinced.

“You know, I saw you and bad boy kissing out there. My god. Iida. You gay liar.”

Iida, along with probably everyone else in class 1-A, collectively choked on air.

——————

[inosukeslefttoe]

SO i just finished wonder egg priority and i think that with confidence i can say it has been one of my favorite animes like... ever ?? and not even from hyperfixation or obsession over it just... its so fucking real yet so simple in a way that i havent rlly seen shown in any other shows you feel ??

but first i wanna talk about how sexy the art and animation is real quick... HOMIE ITS SO GOOD LIKE EVERYTHING ABOUT IT JUST... serotonin... the characters are all so unique and iconic and fun but not over the top in their designs yknow ??? they seem like regular every day girls but they stand out and theyre all sO CUTE !!!! also i love how the style is like this soft bubbly slice of life lookin stuff with bright happy colors and the most beautiful scenes you could find but they also have the SICKEST fight scenes complete with whimsical animal helpers and terrifying villains and crazy weapons unique to each character. and the animation. god DAMN shawty i am obsessed with everything in this show. i might make a post solely about the art later lol bc i wanna get into the other stuff.

so the themes in the show right ?? it starts just as this cute lil magical girl kinda deal but within the first episode we see that like.. oh damn... thats kinda heavy... tbh i was a little shocked and thought about stopping bc yknow bad mental health BUT i was so intrigued that i had to keep going and i am SO GLAD that i did. because this show just so beautifully discusses all these heavy topics in such an eloquent and artistically expressive way. and also like, , the juxtaposition of the charming childlike vibe with bright colors and 14 yr old girl protagonists against the dark themes of suicide and so much else,, i think is just perfect. bc a lot of heavy animes are more of the seinen genre and have some middle aged dude as a protag or make the entire color palette dim or offer little relief to the pain of these heavy themes right ?? but NO not wonder egg bitches B) because these problems arent just things that ppl face later in life or just problems that need to be talked about among adults or the edgy seinen watching squad,, these are REAL problems that face people of every age, gender etc and i think its awesome that wonder egg addresses that. some may cringe at the thought of their high schooler watching animes that discuss sexual harassment, suicide, abuse, self harm, eating disorders etc,, but in reality it is the most comforting thing i have ever come across and is basically jsut free anime therapy. because not only does wonder egg present these themes to the viewers as something real that happens to all kinds of people (making said people feel heard in a way that maybe they hadnt before), but it also makes sure to vanquish all of these forms of trauma. and the way the trauma is vanquished isnt always beautiful and it isnt always just magically gone with a poof. the struggles of overcoming or living with that sort of thing are shown in such a real and relatable way that addresses every hardship trauma survivors have to go through. and i just. god i cry bro. 

oh m y GOD and the lgbtq+ rep in this show ?? like shawty... as soon as i saw episode one i was picking up on some gay/lesbian themes but then again im sapphic and project that a lot so i tend to see that sort of stuff like... everywhere... but NE WAYS... episode ten made me FUKCING CRY BRO LIke i cant believe there was a whole trans character with a whole trans pride hoodie like LKGHKDGH my heart is just so.. so fucking full thinking about him. bc like yeah i know there are trans characters in anime but i feel like theyre always very ambiguous about actually being trans or not or erased or portrayed as a harmful stereotype or theyre constantly misgendered and still refered to as their assigned gender at birth and i hate it. HOWEVEr... Kaoru.. *chefs kiss* it was so amazing to see a character straight up say “yeah im trans” in such a casual yet powerful way bc i personally have never seen that before. and i love love loved how he went into his backstory and talked to momoe about gender bc i think thats what she rlly needed and that it helped her find herself and it makes me so happy oh my god,, and the way they talked about it never seemed forced or like it was the focal point of his existence yknow ?? like yeah he existed to help momoe overcome some of her trauma but he also just existed to be HIM yknow ?? also... personally, i headcanon momoe as a trans girl even though i dont remember it being explicitly stated plus the school scenes of her and stuff would seem like they suggest otherwise ??but,,, SHAWTY THE AMOUNT OF SUBTEXT and her complicated relationship w gender is... something i feel like a cis girl would not go through so harshly yknow ?? with all of the questioning and feeling detached from femininity or feeling like ppl dont see her as an actual girl and only like her as a guy or for her masculine traits,,, but dont take my word on this bc i myself am a cis girl but that was just my take on it as someone in the lgbtq+ community trying to educate myself on the transgender community :) either way,, wonder eggs portrayal of momoe and kaoru and the way that momoe becomes so passionate about expressing herself the way she wants to as a girl is just... good lord im gonna cry its so perfect,,,.so ... i just love this show way too much. i also am honestly super lost about the relationship btwn acca and ura-acca ?? bc i was gonna mention ura-acca as a canonically gay guy bc when i was watching i interpreted ep 11 as him being in love with acca and being jealous of Azusa (bc i mean,, they lived together (i swear to god there was only one bed in that apartment) and had a daughter together and def loved each other and also when Frill said they were husbands and then when ura-acca said he wasnt attracted to azusa but he was def jealous of their relationship ??) but then i saw somewhere that theyre brothers ?? which would make sense ig since they look kinda similar and accas daughter called ura-acca “uncle”.. but at the same time its ANIME SO THEY ALL LOOK SIMILAR and referring to gay couples as siblings is an EXTREMELY common euphemism soooo... IM JUST LOST HERE... but yeah i tried doing research and found different things so i cant say anything for sure >:( however,,, if they are canonically a lil fruity for each other... when frill refered to acca as ura-accas husband i imploded dude you never hear that sort of wording in anime.. but if theyre related i am so sorry. 

god this is so much longer than i planned it to be oops but i also love the theme about like.. relying on friends to help carry your weight but at the same time not becoming completely dependent on those friends and using their support to learn how to love yourself and rely on yourself yknow ?? bc that is exactly what healthy friendships look like. bc i think ai sort of had a codependency thing goin on with koito maybe ?? but now she has a whole squad of funky friends that are so so different but all struggle with different kinds of trauma and although they fight over it, they always get through it with each other together. and they push each other no matter what to be the best versions of themselves and they teach other that getting hurt is okay because theyre always gonna be there to pick up the pieces no matter what happens. they can give each other space when they need and adapt to meet each others needs but theyre always able to balance it out with their own needs and thats such a beautiful thing in friendships especially at their age like damn i wish i had that maturity when i was 14 but no all i had was depression. another thing is that through these friendships you get to see all the different sides of each girl; you get to see them being strong or a shining light to their friends when theyre hurting but you also get to see them being hurt and weak and allowing themselves to be on the receiving end of the comfort. their friendships allows them to have weaknesses but it also allows them to highlight their strengths and thrive off of each others. I LOVE FRIENDSHIP DUDE

next i wanna briefly mention some of the themes connected to suicide that ive noticed. a big one is the survivors guilt that ai feels once koito is dead. several times she screams that she wishes she couldve gone with koito and she dreams of a “perfect world” where they committed a double suicide. one of the main reasons for her troubles is that she blames herself for koitos death and feels like it should be her thats dead... but at the same time she feels like too much of a coward to do anything now that koito is gone. she just has all these complex and contradicting feelings that wear away at her in ways that ppl that havent gone through the suicide of a loved one could never imagine. a lot of the times when things like this are portrayed in media i feel like its more in a way thats meant to guilt trip those that have taken their own lives and paint suicide as this selfish sin thats unforgivable but... not only does wonder egg reject that idea and instead portray it as a heartbreaking tragedy with,,, so so many terrible reasons, but it focuses on the feelings of ai separate from koito without blaming her in any way. not once did i feel like the show antagonized koito or that ai blamed koito for doing any of this, but they simply mourned her loss and touched on ais reaction towards the event but separate from koito herself if that makes sense. and i think that discussing survivors guilt without painting koito as the bad guy is something so beautifully done in wonder egg that can really resonate with those that have lost a loved one to suicide and have struggled with these same things.

okay i think this is the last thing ill mention,,, but HOMIE THE PARALLEL UNIVERSE BIT AT THE END. I AM. OBSESSED. i am such a whore for anything about the multiverse okay n e ways...,, not only did this make a super epic trippy ending of season one and add a little bit more magical girl whimsy to the show,, but it had such a powerful message. from the perspective of og ai,, finding out that you killed yourself in another world is... i mean its definitely not a surprise but at the same time it rlly makes you think how close og ai herself couldve been to that point and what decisions led her out of that dark place in her life. if i were in her shoes i would be terrified and id cry bc the thought of going back to such a dark place and actually going through with something like that is my worst fear and probably something that ai fears too. but at the same time,,, think from the perspective of ai two !!! like yeah its true that theres this awful terrible version of ai that dies but theres also a whole version of ai that is a superhero magical girl fighting off monsters to save countless ppls lives !! and she has a badass lizard and a gang of awesome friends !!! at first i was worried that ai two would be jealous of og ai and compare herself to her and feel inferior but like.. THEYRE LITERALLY THE SAME PERSON AND CAPABLE OF THE SAME THINGS !!! and ai two realized that !! just within the span of one episode, she went from the version of ai who took her life,, to the version of ai jumping in front of a friend to take a bullet for them and save their life. and that just inspired THE SHIT OUT OF ME. i think that ai was sent another version of herself to sort of beat her own worst enemy yknow ?? those doubts and fears that shes no good or that shes that same bystander from episode one and that she hasnt changed at all. but getting to interact with her parallel self and see her grow was just what she needed to realize that while yeah sometimes the worst thing can happen and things can be terrible but on the other hand sometimes the most wonderful thing imaginable can happen because she has the power to do either. 

so im gonna go ahead and stop rambling bc i got all my thoughts out that i wanted to for this post :D but yeah lol i might make another if i feel like it sometime. long story short: this show is perfect and it is going on my favorite of all times.

[one-abuse-survivor]

im suoer concerned for my younger cousin. hes only 2, and his parents didnt actually want him (an accident). they call him multiple names that are horrible, called him a wimp when he had his blood taken and cried after, they taught him the nword, going around asking, "what colour are they?" to a literal human being, and not an object, they call him a f*g and gayboy all the time, and even slap him upside the head just because. literally no reason. he gets no comfort from them, hes expected to cry it out and be name called when he needs the comfort. dude it hurts my heart so much. i dont know how to help him. i think im just being selfish, as ik if i tell someone, theres a chance he will be taken away, and i wont get to see him again. (my other cousin got taken away and i never saw him again). im 18 and going off to uni in a few months, so whilst i understand, id rarely get to see him after uni starts anyway, i just dont know if im making the right choice by reporting them as idk if it really is abuse or just "one of those thinga" ifyk what i mean. ive reported my own abuse and it was a year long process of my parents hating me more and more, and the social services doing nothing but condoning my parents' behaviour. im so concerned for his mental health but im worried the social services would approach it the same way they did with me, and just make it worse for him rather than help him. i also really dont wanna be found out for reporting them, my family already hates me as ive been "falsely accusing" my dad of abuse. should i attempt to do something? or just leave it as it is, as interfering could make it worse? another thing that is stopping me is a very weird theory. ive slept at their house before (like a few months ago) and they were the opposite of how they act now (and back then) when they come to my house. theyre way more patient, and loving and actually talk to the kids. the theory is that theyre putting it on to impress my dad. "boys should be tough and manly, girls should be in the kitchen and quiet" that ideal is my dads mentallity so it makes sense why hed want to act like that infront of them. when im with them alone, they do really seem to care about their kids and love them and want to help them in all aspects of life. unless theyre then putting it on for me when i visit, and being truthful with my dad. im sorry for it all being all over the place, and i keep switching 'sides', its just super confusing for me lol. is it okay if i get your opinion on it?

Nonnie, I don't have words for how vile your cousin's parents' behaviour is. They are verbally, physically and emotionally abusing and neglecting a toddler. My heart hurts so much right now too. No one should have to grow up like this. No baby or kid deserves to go through even a second of this.

I understand why you're conflicted. It sounds like an incredibly complicated situation, especially if you've also seen them treat your cousins with love and patience in other moments. I can't imagine how much harder this must be to deal with having been through abuse yourself. And you're right: there is a chance that social services won't immediately fix things and your cousin will suffer because of it.

I want to make it very clear that you should always follow your own intuition and perception before my advice, because I'm not in this situation with you. I haven't met your family or interacted with the social services where you live.

That being said, this is my opinion, nonnie: it doesn't matter if they're loving toward your cousins sometimes. It doesn't matter whether their "genuine" parenting style is the one they show in front of your dad or the one they show when they're alone with you.

What matters is they've shown they're capable of verbally, physically and emotionally abusing their toddler. If you're capable of something like that, regardless of the circumstances, then there's little that will stop you from doing it again. Someone who truly wasn't willing to abuse their child would not do it, no matter how much they wanted to be liked by a family member. What's more: someone who wasn't willing to abuse their child would not want to impress an abuser.

Now, regarding whether you should report them, while there is a chance things will get worse for your cousin, I think you also have to take some time to consider if whatever may happen after you report them is worse than a childhood filled with abuse and neglect. Bad things might happen to him if you report, but the thing is, they are already happening right now. He's going through trauma right now every single time they hit him, insult him and leave him to cry. And I honestly think there's a very high chance he'll continue to go through trauma with his parents, because, as I said, people capable of being abusive once are more than likely to be abusive again.

I'm really sorry you've had so many problems with your family and social services. I hope things are better for you now and you're safe from your parents or on your way to being safe from them. I also hope my reply helps a bit. What your cousin is going through is indeed abuse, and his parents' motivations when hurting him don't negate the trauma he's going through.

Sending all my support your way ❤️ please don't hesitate to send me an update if you want or need to. Good luck with uni!

[shotokimchi]

Heartless (Bakugou x Fem!Reader) vs (Kirishima x Fem!Reader)

Summary: ANGST, ANGST, ANGST...

A/n: If you have any ideas for me, please dont be shy and message me! I will gladly write for you. Please make sure to check it out Spices and Love HERE!

You were sitting in your room, with red puffy eyes and messy hair. Your clean and cute room was now a mess. When you were about to wash your face you got a notification, sighing you made your way towards the phone, it was a message from Kirishima. Kirishima tried to reach you for hours but you left him on read, you didnt wanted to see anyone at the moment. Then you heard a knock on your door and sighed “I wanna be alone.” Your voice cracked at the end and your face turned into a scowl. *Ugh, i feel sick.* then you heard the knock again and slapped your forehead “What do you-” Your words died in your throat and you saw a familiar brunette. It was her, the one who ruined everything, the one who told you that she was your best friend then stabbed you on the back. You tried to slam the door shut but she immediately pushed it back “Y/n, please listen!” You felt the anger rising, when you were angry you were way too scary, sometimes even Bakugou looked soft compared to you. “Leave, now!” You screamed and tried to close the door then you heard a 3rd voice “Uraraka-san, stop it!” It was Momo, she was your everything. You gave a sigh of relief and continued to push the door, then Momo grabbed Uraraka’s arm and tried to yank her back without hurting her. “Wait, i need to talk to her!” She tried to reach towards the door but Momo tightened her hold on Uraraka’s arm and replied “She needs some time right now, dont push things.” Uraraka sighed and left. Momo’s room was next to yours so it made her hear every single thing that happened around you. When Uraraka’s figure dissapeared she immediately knocked on your door “Y/n-chan, its me.” She waited and the door slowly opened “Momo-chan...” Your eyes started to water and she pulled you into a hug. “Lets go inside” she smiled and holded your hand. When she saw your room her mouth was on the floor, you were a clean and organised person but now the tissues, and the glass of the broken lamp was everywhere. “Y/n-chan you cant walk around, you can cut your toes!” She called Mina and Jirou for help and five minutes later they were in front of your door. Mina pulled you into a tight hug and Jirou patted your head with a small smile, Mina tried to lift your spirits so she tried to give her biggest smile “Let’s clean!” You tried to smile but it looked more like a grimace. When you bent down to pick up the tissues Jirou crouched down beside you and grabbed your hand “No, you go sit on the bed!” the other two nodded and you sighed “But, i cant let you clean my room, i wanna help.” Momo cupped your cheek and smiled “You are tired Y/n-chan, please go sit.” You gave a defeated sigh and plopped down on your bed. When you started to wiggle your toes Mina turned to look at you and gasped in shock “Y/n-chan, your feet?!” When Momo and Jirou turned to look at you their face turned pale and you raised a brow “What about my fe-” You saw the cuts under them caused by the glass of your nightstand lamp. “I-i didnt noticed.” Mina frowned and putted her hands on her hips “Thats it! Im calling Kirishima!” You tried to get up but after looking under your feet, you realised the pain. Kirishima was one of your best friends so you knew that he was going to get more worried than he needed to “N-no!” But you were too late, Mina dialed his number and told your situation and after 3 minutes you heard loud bangs and slapped your forehead, when Mina turned the doorknob Kirishima barged in and ran towards you “Y/n!” He grabbed your shoulders and started to examine you “K-kiri, im fine!” He looked at you with worry and sadness. You sighed and pulled him into a hug “Why were you ignoring my texts?!” He raised his voice but regretted it, he was just trying to understand what happened. “Im sorry, Kiri...” He sighed and flicked your forehead “Y/n, i should be the one who’s apologising.” You immediately understood where he was getting at so you pinched his cheeks “Dont you dare blame yourself Kirishima Eijiro!” He felt guilty and it wasnt even his fault it was his best friend’s. “Owieee!” He grabbed your wrists and tried to stop you then you started to giggle and his eyes softened. You were finally laughing...

After Kirishima got a call from Mina, Bakugou saw the worry in his eyes and immediately understood that it was about you, shitty hair was trying to reach your for hours. Kaminari sighed loudly and looked at Sero “I wonder what happened.” Sero shrugged and looked at Bakugou “What are you looking at?” He barked and Sero frowned. Kaminari sighed and looked at Bakugou “Dude, chill.” Bakugou scoffed and got up from his seat “Im going to my room, i dont wanna deal with anyone.” He walked towards the elevator and left.

-

“Y/n, can you tell us what happened?” Jirou asked, you were sitting on your bed with Momo and Jirou, Mina and Kirishima were sitting on the floor. Everyone was looking at you with curious but sad eyes, you didnt told them what happened but they knew that your heart was broken. You took a deep breath and started to explain as calm as possible “This morning, when i was walking towards the classroom... I saw Bakugou and Uraraka.” Jirou raised a brow “They were making out.” Kirishima’s eyes widened and Mina shouted “But you guys are dating?!” Your nails were leaving marks on your thigs “No Mina... I walked towards them and pushed him, i tried to confront him but i learned that...” You squeezed your eyes shut and Momo patted your back “Learned what?” Jirou whispered “I learned that he was using me to make Uraraka jelaous.” Kirishima gritted his teeth “This is unacceptable.” He growled and Mina stood up “Y/n!” She pulled you in a tight hug and you started to cry. Everyone in the classroom knew that you were in love with Bakugou for 3 years, at first everyone was shocked because you were strong and intelligent some of the guys from other classes gave you a nickname, ���Unapproachable” some of them tried to ask you out but you always refused, your heart was screaming ‘Katsuki’. So when he asked you out you felt like the happiest girl in the world. “He tossed me out because Uraraka feels the same about him.” You started to shake and Kirishima couldnt watch you suffer so he got up and rushed towards the common room.

-

“Where is Bakugou?” Kaminari panicked bc of the harsh tone, it was Kirishima. He had never seen him so angry, he gulped and answered “In his room, everything ok ?” Kirishima gave a firm nod and walked towards the elevator, Kaminari looked at Sero and they both stood up “You guys stay here.” Kirishima said with a firm tone. Kaminari shook his head “Dude, we are in this together i dont know what happened but you are my best friend.” Sero nodded and tried to smile, Kirishima relaxed and thanked them.

-

Bakugou was laying on his bed and staring at the ceiling, he knew what he did was wrong bc you always cared about him even when he was a jerk but his pride was too important so instead of apologising he avoided you like nothing happened. When he saw the broken expression on your face he regretted his actions but he had a crush on Uraraka. At first his plan didnt seemed so cruel to him, he was going to flirt with you, make Uraraka jelaous then make her confess to him. Things got out of hand and he found himself asking you out. He knew about your feelings and he hated himself for playing with them but when he saw the looks Uraraka was giving you both, he forgot about you and continued. He started to get touchy with you whenever she was around. There was jelaousy in her eyes but something else was there too... Fear, sadness and regret. She didnt wanted to stab her best friend on the back and Bakugou knew that, he couldnt help it, he wanted her. So today, when Uraraka wanted to talk with him, he got excited and forgot about you. She came with a serious expression on her face “Bakugou we need to talk.” He tried to hide his smirk but failed “What do you want pink cheeks?” She crossed her arms “Stop playing with my friend’s feelings.” He chuckled and answered “Are you worried about her or is it about your own feelings?” Her eyes widened and she blushed “This is not about us, Bakugou! You are playing with her, you know that she has a crush on you.” Bakugou’s smirk dropped and he sighed “Tch, i know that. Then why are you watching and not helping her?” She froze “I-i want her to be happy.” Bakugou wanted to laugh but controlled himself “I cant make her happy and you know that.” she sighed “We are both selfish...” Bakugou grabbed her wrist and looked at her in the eyes “So... what about it? Lets be selfish.” He pulled her into a heated kiss and thats when they both heard a gasp. Your eyes were wide, brows were furrowed and legs were trembling. Bakugou’s heart stopped, he didnt thought seeing the expression on your face would make him so sad. “W-what are you doing?” your voice cracked and you started to walk towards him “Y/n-chan please listen!” Uraraka immediately pushed him and tried to grab your hand but you avoided contact and grabbed Bakugou by his collar. “Why...?” Your pupils were trembling, he opened his mouth but nothing came out. You started to shake him “Give me a reason!” Uraraka grabbed your arm “Y/n im so sorry!” You pushed her and shouted “You are sorry because you got caught!” Bakugou crouched next to her and helped her up “Y/n!” He warned you with a harsh tone and your blood started to boil. “You asshole, you owe me an explanation, i loved you and thats what im getting for return?!” Uraraka’s eyes were glued to the floor, Bakugou looked at you in the eyes and opened his mouth “I never had a crush on you, i asked you out because... I wanted her.” Your vision become blurry with tears and you gave them a disgusted look “Y/n please!” Uraraka shouted but you turned around and left. When class started, he sat down he looked at your desk and it was empty, Aizawa came and told that you werent feeling well. Everyone in the classroom got worried especially Momo and Kirishima. They were clueless, he decided to stay quiet. *BAM BAM BAM* The loud bang on the door woke him up from his thoughts, he groaned and opened the door “What do you-” When he was about to scold the one who interrupted him, he saw his best friend standing in front of the door with bloody red eyes, Kaminari and Sero were grabbing his shoulders but when he saw Bakugou’s face he yanked them off and punched him in the face “You were my biggest role model, you were my best friend... How could you do something so wrong?!” He shouted and Bakugou groaned “Leave me alone.” He demanded but Kirishima continued to look at him with anger, Kaminari and Sero ran towards him and tried to calm him down but it didnt worked “Bro calm down!” Kaminari shouted but when he received a glare from Kiri, he stopped trying. “How can you play with Y/n’s feelings?! You knew that she liked you, how can you play with someone like they dont have any emotions?!” Sero and Kaminari was even more confused, Sero decided to step in “What do you mean Kirishima?” Kirishima turned around and glared “He dated Y/n because he liked Uraraka. He used Y/n.” Kaminari let out a gasp and Sero’s eyes widened “What...?” Sero’s question was more like a whisper. Kirishima only got angrier and he kicked Bakugou in the stomach, Bakugou lost his patience and screamed back “I cant deal with you right now!” He punched Kiri back and now they were wrestling on the floor. When they got too intense the other guys in the floor informed Aizawa and he separated them. 

-

Mina’s phone was ringing, she looked at the contact info and saw Kaminari’s ID. “”Whats up?” Her face dropped and she looked at you, Momo and Jirou gave questioning looks. “Y/n, Kiri and Bakugou... They got into a fight.” You immediately stood up and rushed towards the common room “Y/n wait for us!” Jirou shouted but you were too deaf to hear it. When you arrived Kirishima was sitting on the couch with an icepack in his hands “Kiri!” You ran towards him and some of the guys turned to look at you “Y/n-chan... What happened to your feet?” Midoriya pointed at your bandaged feet and you shook your head “Nothing important Midoriya, dont worry.” Todoroki frowned but you paid no mind and crouched in front of Kirishima. “Idiot, what did you do?” You grabbed the icepack and pushed it on his cheek.” He hissed but gave you a small smile “I didnt do anything.” You sighed “Kirishima, dont get into trouble because of me.” He frowned and flicked your forehead “Owie! What was that for?!” He pouted “You are my best friend! I would gladly get into trouble for you!” Your eyes widened and your cheeks started to burn. He closed his eyes and gave you the biggest smile he could manage “You are important Y/n!” The mood was better and the other guys started to smile. Bakugou watched the interaction from afar and he realised that... He just made the biggest mistake.

A/N: If you want a part 2 just reblog and let me know! Also if you have suggestiongs dont be shy and message me!

[inchandescence]

To Anon

Question:  Yeolmaes hate baekhyun mostly because his stans are the ones sending most hate to chanyeol and baekhyun never said anything about it, instead he kinda validated their feelings by not showing up to the box premiere, avoiding mentioning him at all costs and straight up saying he doesnt like musical movies Understand that yeolmaes have to deal with hundreds of hate messages written in Korean everyday and they are at a breaking point considering most of them come from bbh’s own fans How is it possible to like chanyeol and baekhyun at the same time in a situation like this? Do you even take chanyeol feelings into consideration? No? Not even once? He has to deal with thousands of nasty comments coming from bbh fanbase while bbh comes on Twitter reminding them how cute they are and how much he loves them If you cbkists choose to ignore this and baekhyun is actually in a relationship with Pcy it just means that you all couldn’t give less of a shit about chanyeol as a person with feelings and are just a bunch of selfish pricks

Answer: Anon...sighs you can't see something from one point of view only really, but it's okay i get you, ok so let us talk about this one by one: 1. You said: Yeolmaes hate baekhyun the most because his stans are the ones sending most hate to chanyeol and baekhyun never say anything about it -When you perceive the assumption that baekhyun stans hate chanyeol the most, did u believe it right or did u question it, like why its baekhyun stans, if its true then since when they started hating chanyeol, and why do they hate chanyeol, does their reason make sense or its just stupid like how other bbhls who hate other exo members too (for example some bbhls hate jd bcs both are main vocalists and they think jd is stealing bh's spot as a vocalist) -But at the same time, we cant find the exact number that would proof that bbhls are the ones who hate chanyeol the most, we only can see what twitter shows us, and it happened to me too that i see bbhls throw hate to chanyeol the most -But at the same time too, I've been seeing yeolmaes who throw hate at baekhyun too since years ago without me knowing the reason why they do that, and I keep questioning it everytime why yeolmaes suddenly started hating baekhyun so bad, when did it start -AND at the same time too, I've been seeing other exo member stans throwing hate to either baekhyun or chanyeol -But my twitter algorithm is the same as you anon, it shows that bbhls hate chanyeol the most and yeolmaes hate baekhyun the most, so I do often make the assumption that bbhls and yeolmaes are always on each other's throat -But yet again, I don't know who started hating the first time, is it bbhls, is it yeolmaes, and why they did that -This knowledge is unknown to me so based on this, to me the most right way is to think that both sides are wrong because hating is always the worse way to deal with things, the fact that we know is chanyeol and baekhyun are good friends they are always there for each other, usually when ppl see im saying this they will say its fake and its fan service, but people can choose to not see what they dont wanna see, so the easiest proofs to prove that chanyeol and baekhyun are good friends is one chanyeol is the only member in exo that baekhyun wished happy birthday on his instagram, two both of them support each other for candy and 1 billion views by coming to the mv bts, three baekhyun and chanyeol go to vocal lessons together, four chanyeol had taken a photo with all of baekhyun's bucheon friends before so in that photo baekhyun, chanyeol, and baekhyun's bucheon friends (istg if people see these as fan service then it doesnt make sense right?)

Before we go to the next thing, I have this assumption that chanyeol and baekhyun are two members that have the highest popularity in sk, either they are the top 3 or top 4, and my reason is bcs everytime there are individual album/photobook covers sold offline, their individual covers sold out the fastest, everytime, even with nature republic stuffs, ok so there's this possibility that we keep seeing yeolmaes and bbhls on each other's throat everytime bcs well both of them are two of the most popular exo members in SK (i mean even in china, chanyeol and baekhyun are the most popular members with sehun, there's data for this)

2. You said: Baekhyun never say anything about this, he kinda "validated their feelings by not showing up to the box premiere and voiding mentioning him at all costs and straight up saying he doesnt like musical movies"

-First of all, let's look at a bigger picture, is there any idol in the k-industry like ANY IDOL that ever said to their fans "guys don't say that to my member" IS THERE. ANY.? what I know is: there is none, none at all zero zip nothing, and if there's at least one or two idols, then its just one or two idols right -And thats it anon, thats just about it, idols dont have the absolute freedom of speech, they never do, and its hurting them all of them, all they can say is: "I love EXO, I miss EXO members the most, EXO is my home" and most solo stans who see that will just say "its bs" yet solo stans are also asking for proofs that the members relationship are fine -None of these kpop idols ever say anything about hate speech from their fans that are thrown to their friends/bandmates, and this kind of thing happens in every fandom anon, not just chanyeol and baekhyun, it's just how korean entertainment industry is, idols never have the ultimate freedom to say or do anything

3. Not showing up to the box premiere, avoiding mentioning him, saying he doesnt like musical movies -That not showing up to the box premiere really changed the way you think huh anon, yeah I think that event also changed many yeolmaes' perspectives sighs okay, not showing up to the box premiere is like a very open information we can easily see it from one tweet that didnt mention baekhyun name during that event -BUT for other cases "avoid mentioning him" and "saying he doesnt like musical movies" is not a very open information, by this i mean u have to read alllll of the things baekhyun say, look at the trans for all of his vlives/shows/etc, read the whole trans for baekhyun's last vlive before he goes to the military, so u or other yeolmaes after that situation are either trying to "search for baekhyun's act or words that deny fans opinion about how they hate each other" bcs u still "have hope in baekhyun" or "search for baekhyun's act or words that support my perspective about how he hates chanyeol and never defend cy from bbhls" -"Validate their feelings" how? once again, it's just what bbhls think, did baekhyun do and say all of that because well "his motive is to support bbhls that hate chanyeol" and who are you, who are we to say that, are we our bias? can we go inside their minds and goes aha! this is why they do this and that! well no. because once again thats the entertainment industry, the chances for idols to "explain" all of the bad situations esp when its about how their fans act, is very veryyy low, or like the chance is even minus

-We are just fans who watch them on cam, without knowing what's on their mind or what is everything they are going through behind the camera, we know nothing, all of our opinions are just perspective that our mind created that turned into assumptions, we could never know the truth because kpop industry prevents their artist from showing the truths that may "hurt" people, who actually deserve to be hurt, but those people are the "money makers" for the company, it's bad it's toxic it's awful that just bcs they have to "maintain the money makers" idols can never get that freedom -Same goes with baekhyun, gdi we dont know him, we really really dont know him, his mind, his motives and reasons for his actions, who are we to judge him and call him selfish? -But what we know is baekhyun helping to defend chanyeol when that fake rumor was spreading by tweeting the mosquito thing, what we know is baekhyun and chanyeol doing their choreo for DFTF together that was practiced since early 2021 until before they enlist, what we know is baekhyun saying chanyeol he's fine when fans asked on japanese fansign, what we know is them still doing vocal lessons together, going to vocal lesson tgt too on march after the box premiere (bcs chanyeol's hair was grey in the vlog) before they enlist, what we know is baekhyun loving and singing "tomorrow" tgt with chanyeol, so what we know is they keep spending time with each other as bandmates and friends 

"do you ever take chanyeol's feeling into consideration, you all couldnt give less of a shit about chanyeol as person with feelings and are just a bunch of selfish pricks" 1. Baekhyun tweeting that mosquito tweet to defend chanyeol -Responses>> People went: oh he's just defending himself, he's being selfish once again, he doesnt care about chanyeol 2. Baekhyun answering fans question about chanyeol's condition -Responses>> No one translated this after few days OP has translated Original post Jan 29: https://twitter.com/tomo_exo/status/1355177834185064451?s=20 First ever translation on FEB 13 (AND FROM A CBKIST): https://twitter.com/NTH_2705/status/1360626904756228096?s=20 Also this cbkist isnt always active translating, I know her, she's not on Twitter as much as other trans account and she doesnt understand japanese, so she actually found the post on weibo and translated it from chinese thats why it was translated 2 weeks after, but before her? does ANY account translate this? well no. 3. Baekhyun and Chanyeol doing choreo in DFTF tgt -No BTS, no anything from SM, people who hate seeing them tgt can ignore easily, chanbaek stans can only watch the part over and over 4. Baekhyun and Chanyeol practicing their hitting the woah part in just usual mv -Again no one commented about this, except chanbaek stans bcs this is easily ignored 5. Lesson With Baekhyun -Responses>> yeolmaes went "chanyeol don't do this, chanyeol im not watching this, chanyeol what are you doing, i want chanyeol only, oh god why is chanyeol with him again, chanyeol is feeding chanbaekist, his fans (bbhls) gonna come at us again, fuck this im not watching" and bbhls went "the translation is wrong look theyre trying to sabotage bbh" and yeolmaes replied with "good for him haha, ya serves him right for being selfish" and also "why is it always chanyeol who does this kind of thing and never baekhyun? oh right because hes selfish hes sm golden boy he never gonna do this bcs his channel is own by SM" "look he promoted kyoongtube even in the nng" "look SM posted kyoongtube but not NNG u can see whos the mistreated one him"

All of those 5 things I mentioned, even tho some are small things....they got mostly negative responses from yeolmaes and bbhls who are not cbkist dont they? The things that prove chanyeol and baekhyun are always there for each other and they are bandmates, true friends, nothing change between them And yet, what did bbhls and yeolmaes do? Throw negative shits and comments to those things, esp Lesson With Baekhyun, and until now still hate Baekhyun... when Lesson With Baekhyun, is a vlog recorded by Chanyeol alone, he taped his phone in the car, he added Candy MV BTS with Baekhyun calling him "chanyeol ah" and baekhyun smiling while holding the food, a vlog where he praised baekhyun's vocals, prepared playlist for him, sing tomorrow together with him, laughing during their vocal lesson, and just...doing things tgt

And yet people still call it a fanservice? feeding chanbaekist? baekhyun is still selfish? when chanyeol worked hard preparing that vlog, providing it for us, baekhyun and chanyeol practicing their part tgt for DFTF, baekhyun tweeting the mosquito tweet

When Chanyeol and Baekhyun have done so many things together, after the fake rumor, after the box premiere, proving they are still good friends... so do you even take chanyeol's feelings into consideration? oh wait not just feelings, his efforts, his time, him uploading to NNG about him hanging out with Baekhyun, have you ever take that to consideration? or just ignore all those facts because "whatever i still hate baekhyun" 

So two options: 1. Hating and keep hating and telling others selfish because yall hate the fact that baekhyun never do this and that, that yall wanted him to do, but actually we don't know the reason why, we just don't know anything at all, accept assumptions that "baekhyun validated fans feeling" and thats according to you, your mind, your perspective, oh wait... it's all about you? 2. Know and accept and support and love, chanyeol and baekhyun's friendship, because thats what we know, thats what themselves say to us, thats what themselves been doing, accepting the fact that "chanyeol and baekhyun are good friends" and know we are not in the position to turn the friendship into bad relationship bcs what? bcs it comes from chanyeol and baekhyun themselves, not yeolmaes, not bbhls, not even exols, and so be a fan that know chanyeol and baekhyun have good relationship, keep reporting bbhls who said bad things about cy and vice versa, bcs what? we never want chanyeol to see that after lesson with baekhyun, apparently his "fans" still think baekhyun, his best friend and bandmate, is still a selfish person who doesnt care about chanyeol, so chanyeol is happy that we know and appreciate his relationship with baekhyun, with exo members because we care about chanyeol's feelings, because we trust his actions, his words, and we love everything he does, and also we love everyone around chanyeol that he loves

So choose... and last thing, are social media and on cam interactions, are enough to "measure" a group of people's relationships, so if your best friend never post any picture of you on their instagram and never tell stories about you to other people who well, actually are also strangers, living thousand miles away from you and your best friend, then it's okay for those strangers to say that your best friend hates you? avoiding to be affiliated with you? a selfish person? Have people ever think that it's tiring that just because you're a celebrity, you have to show everything, including minds, feelings, emotions, actions, personal reasons, to your fans? For them to be validated? And for them to turn into facts? Well, at least for me, the things I don't know then I don't know, I don't have the right to judge, and the things I know, especially positive things, that came from my own idols, that's what I'm holding on, that's what I support. *extra note: exo members always call us as EXO-Ls, not bbhls, not yeolmaes, not anyone, but EXO-Ls, so when they say they love us, "loved ones" are those who say themselves are EXO-Ls, who loves EXO as 9 members, because that's the fact

Have a good day anon, stay safe and healthy, God bless you, spread love and not hate

[scribblemetae]

I FIGURED SOMETHING OUT (I think)!! So seeing people bring up TYB made me reread it (such a masterpiece 😭) this is something that has drove me craaaazy, ever since it came out ngl BUT

We all know how the younger sister of oc was crazy about jungkook to the point she still texts him, trying to get with him right?

After oc flnds out her younger sister has been texting him, jungkook then text the sister the same night about how he loves oc, would never chose her over his baby and all riiight?

In the morning jungkook is heard on the phone yelling at someone:

"leave me alone, you can't do that"

"dont you dare you fucking bitch"

"stop doing this to me"

"you're going to regret this, you're nothing more than a selfish whore"

What if he was talking to the sister.?

We already know jungkook claims she tried to sleep with him while thinking he was dating her older sister and if my memory serves me correctly she even stopped letting him over because of it. - "stop doing this to me" and "you're going.. selfish whore"

My theory is after the littler sister saw the message from jungkook she called him in the morning pissed off that he technically put an end to her hope of him ever being hers and that set her off.

So she threatens to basically try to get oc to 'break up' with him. Probably by telling her they slept together (honeslty maybe something did happen between the snob nd jungkook however) or say he did something oc wouldn't like, considering he already know everything about her, it could have been a HUGE deal breaker which would cause oc to never want to see him again. - "you can't do that" and "don't you dare.."

The sister gives me very much "if i cant have you, nobody can" vibes. Even when she has a husband, she text jungkook things like "come fuck me, my husbands away" , "she's always wanted what I want" , "fuck i wanna feel you cum" , "..im better than her" blah blah blah so it's clear she does not care much for anyone (not even her own sister!!) other than jungkook at this point. It has been years and she still wont stop after being rejected even as far as thinking he was already fully committed to oc. She has an obsession over jungkook.

Once he goes back into the room with his love in his bed, thinking she's sleeping he said "nobody's ever going to take you away from me baby, i won't let it happen"

who else would try to take her away from him?

Once her phone rang he RAN for it before she could 'awake'. Put 2 and 2 together, it is a bit weird that after he gets off the phone, her phone rang right after which caused him to panic for a second..

If im wrong it's gonna be one hell of a plot twist 😅

Do you see what you've done to me 😭

Okay so I'm gonna start by saying I'm not gonna say if your right or wrong, I never do aha

But the fact that you reread it and picked up on so many little details got me close to crying!!! You've really remembered and looked and searched and omg I didn't think people do this kinda stuff with my stories 🥺❤

I do put 100000s of clues for everything I write so it's a very good way to look at my works I'm so so so crazy obsessed with you omg 🖤

[anonil88]

Euphoria special part 1: Rue

I'm not ready but here is my reaction and it will be long because this is an hour long. Spoilers ahead

My fucking heart man ugh

Omg why is this like my fanfiction I wrote....ummmmm uh

This is literally like the fanfic I wrote so I know this is all in Rue's head. If yall wanna read that I may link it at the end.

Orrrre it is absolutely the future, which is very possible.

Rue you were literally snorting in the bathroom sweetheart. Even if you are over making Jules the center of your world, you are still doing drugs.

Exactly, sobriety is the issue not everything that you think you have a handle on.

I dont have an opioid addiction, but I have a problem with shopping and food. Its called rationalizing your addiction because you feel good in the moment of it. It will all come crashing down in the end though, this is why its okay to fall off as long as you hop back on. It only feels good in the moment but it does not last. It does not last. Not to be preachy this is just why I don't do mental stimulants.

That's because you are depressed sweetheart. Unfortunately manic depressive and that is not something that goes away.

Ayyy Ali drag her

Secret stash (most addicts have a secret stash if they aren't serious about getting sober)

Being sober is hard. Addiction is also hard.

YESSSSSS THIS SPEECH YES!

Lmfao, relapse happens. Some people relapse and go im just medicating its fine im fine. Then two months later you are in a financial hole or emotionally it clicks and you go oh fuck I've relapsed.

Ayyy Philly Philly.

Can I virtually high five Sam?

Religion helps some people.

I too was angry at God for a year after my mom just died one morning. A normal morning and then it wasn't, the nicest person most people ever met and she was just gone.

This conversation about race, addiction, consumerism, radicalization, and god has me like:

Rue is so fucking high.

I hope people are listening to what Ali is saying because its so true. My family instilled this into me very early on before she died, you don't have to believe in God but you have to believe in something. I was extremely apathetic....funny I wrote family but I meant mom, anyways you have to find a purpose that is infallible.

OMG THATS.....

Ugh Moses i love Moses.

Awww Ali, it is very hard to give that trust back to someone in your family who struggles or struggled with addiction. Even if they are clean.

This is the absolute truth. "Trouble don't last always."

Can we get Rue some black friends in season 2, please.

Girl.....blame....she didn't make you snort then drugs, you made that choice your damn self with a whole secret stash.

She broke your little heart? Cheated? Y'all weren't even in a relationship...Kissing is not a relationship.

THANKYOU ALI.

Rue on the same shit a bunch of y'all were on. "We didn't get tattoos." Sweetheart. "Get me to run away." IT WAS YOUR IDEA.

Somebody smack this child, please.

NO ONE LIED TO YOU. I feel like I'm looking in the mirror because I kid you not, high-school me was this dumb.

Here comes the i feel sick and sorry for myself. (Its hard to get out of because I only got out of it 3 years ago.)

Drugs and mental illness change the way you would normally behave when you are in the right state of mind.

Ali please drag her

I wanna smack Rue I love her but her selfish apathetic unmotivated self makes me want to hurt her and hug her.

YES. THIS.

Getting past this point where Rue is, in my struggle with mental illness and maturity has been a struggle. A struggle that I am still dealing with today, Ali is spitting hard cold facts and truths.

I miss all the many people I grew up with and went to school with who lost their battle with addiction. I miss all the people who have lost their battle with depression.

Aw Rue then you need to try sweetheart, you need to try.

My entire friend group did not plan to make it to 24/25 and we are here so anyone who is in Rue's position, please hold on even of reality is so bleak. Please hold on just for a little longer if you can.

(The scratched glass on the diner window framing the lights is a nice touch)

So happy to see Rue and Ali again. This was good and even though I cannot physically cry, this was a very real conversation and I appreciated it. Especially in the shitshow that has been 2020. Here's to hope 2021 will be better.

Wishing you all good health, light, and happiness.

[diary20216969]

why>?

-because i have crippling gender dysphoria and even the thought of doing something so womanly makes me want to puke and then cut my ovaries out with a fork

-because i dont want stretch marks

-cause i dont want my vagina ass and clit ripped apart and then sewed back

-i dont want baby fat

-i dont wanna give life to something that may end up getting borderline personalty, depression, schizophrenia, polycistic ovarian syndrome, anxiety or substance addiction.

-cause life sucks and not putting someone through this current reality is a gesture of kindness

-cause my body is mine and i dont want anything inhabbiting it

-cause i hate commiting to anything

-cause i dont owe it to anyone

-cause breastfeeding disgusts me to the core

-cause i love y skinny body and flat tummy

-cause i love sleeping

-cause i love drugs

-cause i love fucking people

-cause i love having y perfect body worshiped

-cause i love being a sex worker

-cause i love looking young

-cause i already have enough people to provide for

-cause ive done things i’ll never be able to say out loud or forgive myself for,ever

-cause im not a walking vagina or a breathing uterus

-cause im too smart and have too any dreas and goals to accomplish instead on focusing on whiping shit out of an infant’s ass

-cause i wanna beat the shit out of any kid that cries like a stupid fuck

-cause i hate men and if i would get pregnant with a son i’d abort it instantly, lol

-cause i dont wanna go blind, have all my hair fall out

-cause i dont need any more ptsd from childbirth or depression from postpartum

-cause i dont want to spend 9 onths of my life walking on eggshells with my thoughts eotions actions and diet

-cause i love my free time

-cause i haven’t lived yet. cause i want and deserve to.

-cause i want all my money to myself

-cause i flushed the last one down the toiled, not before showing it the middle finger after causing myself an abortion and telling that little piece of shit that i won and to fuck off to hell.

-im selfish and i love it

-cause the world is dangerous and cruel

-cause kids make you weak and are a liability

-cause i just dont wanna deal with a teenager’s bullshit again

-cause i will totally fuck them up for good lol

-cause i already raised a kid while i was a kid and had no childhood or happiness

-cause i unhealthy as fuck

-cause in m family both my mom and dad, brothers and e have chronic ibs

-cause i want my childfree life to be a statement that everyone in my faily is a stupid fucking breeder and they can fuck off

-cause our planet is dying and becoming slowly inhabitable

-cause by 2030 there won’t be enough food to feed everyone

-because the world is already overpopulated and there is not enough food or space to sustain us all

- cause men exist

-cause i not a dumb animal that was born to procreate but i was born to die.

-cause there’s no life after death, and inbetween everything sucks

-cause the whole process is so goddamn disgusting

-cause the lil shits pee in my uterus, swi innit, feed on me, make me anemic, give me the most terrible mood swings i’ve fought my whole life to control

-cause they won’t be special, they will be some gross pathethic human like the rest of us

-cause i would love the ore than i love myself and that would hurt me

-cause they would grow up with a single parent

-cause their only parent would be a sex worker that had videos online with herself fucking her ass or puking for money

-cause i’ve fucked 3 kids

-cause they could be lgbt in a world that does’t accept them

-cause i’d be a emotionally unavailable parent

-cause they iage of being called ‘mom’ or ‘dad’ doesn’t ring any bell in my ind and just makes me cringe

-cause i wanna transition to looking androgynous in a couple of years, one way or another, in order to stop feeling dysphoria

-cause im a recurrent drug addict, smoker, drinker with a sex addiction

-cause i’d happily let the be the same things i am

-cause kids are so stupid and gross and we only find the things they do adorable because we are evolutionarly programmed to find them cute in order to protect them and perpetuate the species

-cause cats are so much fucking better

-cause they would most likely need to work their entire life to make money in order to not die or starve

-cause i like reading books

-cause y brother will absolutely have kids one day and thats enough

- cause my kids would be ugly as i was when i was a kid

-cause id muc rather focus on love, romance and finding the perfect girl

-cause theres so uch about myself id want to explore

-cause theres so much i havent tried yet

-

[night-rhea]

MC House Challenge! ❤️💛💙💚

This is  @kyril-hphm​ ‘s amazing idea!  I wanted to do it daays days ago but... Some shit happens everyday right? And ı also wanted to try different style to draw hairs, ım sure one day ım gonna figure it out. (ı realized ı made their eyes color wrong...damn.)

So here ı am with my girls!

İts turn out a bit long, so ım putting this button here. İf you want to know girls better, just click it!

Gryffindor Night ❤️

She is LOUD. You think Slytherin Night is loud enough? Just wait to hear this Gryffindor's voice. Bill use her in the mornings when a few Gryffindor couldn’t wake up in the time. Also need a silent moment in the common room? Just ask her, ım pretty sure even Ravenclaw Tower can hear her "Shut the fuck up!"

Also yes, this Night is not shy about swearing. But she is mostly creating absurd swear sentences. "For the fuck sake Merula, ı dont give a fuck about your fucking power GO AWAY AND FUCK SOMEBODY ELSES EAR WİTH ALL YOUR SHİT" As you can guess, she is bff with Merula.

İf you cant hear her voice, there is 2 possible place she can be. Quidditch Pitch and detention.

She is playing as a Chaser and this is the one of the only way to shut her up. Like Rath, she let her skills speak for her.  Even its just a practise, Night is always so focussed in game, sometimes her looks scaring Charlie away. She really loves Quidditch, this adrenaline. Oh and she loves the victory of course. That makes her second Skye. Poor poor Orion..

For the detention part, she is in there more than she is in  her own dorm room. Unlike Slytherin Night, she is a fan of Tonks and Tulip's pranks and loves to mess with grumpy Filch. Also detention is not that bad. With Jae here, there is always a way to have fun. Charlie always says that one day Night and Jae's closeness will blow their towers up. Everyone is just waiting for this day. Even McG.

Lets talk about her relationship with Jacob. They were really close when they are little. Because of their last name's bad popularity (ım planning to explain this later), they didnt have any friend other than each other. When Jacob left home, she lost not just her brother but also her best friend too. (Lucky for her, in Hogwarts there will be Rowan)

She dyed her hair red right before coming Hogwarts. To show everyone how she is gonna be Gryffindor just like her brother. Also while everyone talking shit about Jacob, Night refused to believe her precious brother can do something bad like that.

giggles Wanna gossip about her? Like her best friend ,she has a big fat crush on Bill. You should see how she blush when Bill compliment her. She cant help it he is "too fucking cool"!

Night and Rowan spend so many nights to talking and fangirling about him. But after realizing that he see her as a sibling,  not a lover, she was a little heartbroken and tried to date some other guys who is like him. She ended up single of course, because no one can be perfect like him.

İf you want chaos, Gryffindor Night is your girl!

Hufflepuff Night 💛

My favorite thing about this Night is her smile. İts so warm and full of love..I should admit she is the purest Night but she is too good for her own. This is the why she is entire Hufflepuff's little sister. Especially Diego's. But nor she or me can decide that he fancy her or just love her as a little sister. you know, because its Diego...

Not so suprisingly ,She loves to take care of her friends, just like Orj Night, but this girl is doing it more serious. She is the mom friend of their group. She is gonna make sure you eat all your meal and drink enough water. And if you didnt, well you need to deal with her.  Also Night will remind you to take right books for your class if you two have same class. "Did you study for todays quiz? Oh why didnt you?! Come on ı can tutor you! We only got 11 minutes but nevermind that!" Dont worry she got you. Aand One more thing, she has best shoulder to cry. Im not kidding, she will hug you until you feel better and ı can guarentee you that her kind hug and angelic voice will help you calm down.

İn the other hand, Huff Night is not good at handling her own bad emotions. Her anxiety level is a little higher than other Night's.

She is not a "so different" person. İts her words not mine. Being Rhea makes her a little bit special of course but not in the good way. She is just average girl with a unlucky family, thats all. She loves her loved ones more than she loves herself, and always wish that she can be powerfull just to protect them. But sadly she dont believe she can, she is not like Merula. Not that brave or confident . Or Tonks. Not that talented. Or Penny. Not that pretty and popüler. Aah ah, this pure girl has a lot in her mind(or should ı say her heart?) but so shy to talk about them. Damn girl, go and talk about this to Rowan (While you still can...Can you imagine how she break after she cant save her best friend..?)

Enough, İts time to tell you happy thing about her life!   She was very suprised and happy (but mostly suprised) when Merula ask Night to be her date. They started to date in fourth year. (Everyone thanked Night for making Merula more calm and tolerable. Night said that Merula dont need to be tolerated)  Well they have their up and downs of course. Before Rakepick betray them, fifth year was pretty good (Night cried for her girlfriend when she learn about Merula's parent) but unfortunate thing  that  happened in buried vault, made their hearts to apart. Night still love her deeply and wishes  she was powerfull enough to save her from Rakepick so they would still next to each other now.(I know ı said "happy thing". Thats why ı wont tell you that after Rowan's death Night thinks maybe its best if Merula far from her. No ı wont tell you that)

But dont worry about her! She is gonna smile no matter what because her smile can make someone else smile too! İf you love tea and cookie, please let her know your favorite cookie. Her mom sending her delicious Turkish tea and she will be happy to share with you!

Ravenclaw Night 💙

After Slytherin Night, Ravenclaw Night is my second favorite. I really love her general mood.

As you can see, she is the only Prefect Night. And there is simple reason for that, she is perfectionist. She didnt became Prefect because she wants to help others, she became one to make sure everything is right. All other Night helped their Rowan to be Prefect but Ravenclaw Night dont believe that other Ravenclaw's will listen Rowan. She herself is more suited, just like Chester. (She really respect Chester) But dont get me wrong, Night dont underestimated Rowan. She just believe Prefect should be more serious and Rowan's heart is so pure for that.

And unlike Hufflepuff Night, this girl have a lot faith in herself. When Night is doing something, she knows it will be perfect because she wont stop untill its perfect.  

I should warn you about her, she loves to complain. "Damn ı have to do all work. Why cant you do anything  right on your own? İt was easy, even for you. Go and do something else ım gonna finish this one. No stop wait dont do anything. Just. Go."

Just like this,she can easily tell "rude" words. Even if she didnt trying to be rude.  She is just saying whats true! İts not her fault that truth is more bitter than lies. And sorry but truth has to be told. Even if someones heart can get hurt. Lies can make everything worse than a little heartbreak. İts like a poison that tastes good and late effecting. They should thank her for not poisoning them.

Her friends? She dont have a lot. Because of her rude attitude, a lot of people dont get near her often. Fine by her. She dont want "extras" anyways. Her little group of friends is enough for her. Also she have Rowan, right? Rowan is her true soulmate. This two girls can spent hours in library and this is their favorite hang out. Honestly all Night need is Rowan and some book, she can live without any other people, thanks. But she can admit Talbott and Badea are pretty good too. Especially Talbott. He is her second best friend, if she has to give it a number. (This two became friends a little too fast. They have so many similarities. Biggest one is "Fuck Peoples" motto. They even have a ugly t-shirt that saying that. Andre died when he saw it for the first time.)

I think her mom Selina is responsible for Night's reckless behaviour. She was already angry to Jacob for leaving her behind and being ignored by her only parent makes her..ıdk, like that? She tried so hard to make Selina to notice her daughter is still with her.Tried to make her portrait with her pastel pencils, tried to brush her long hair and dressed like a princess, tried to write " I love you" in her mirror.  But little Night's little heart couldnt understand that pain of losing her son (just like how she lose her husband.) When she came to Hogwarts, she give up about her mom." İf a mother dont need to worry about her own child, then ı dont need to worry about anyone else too." But of course, she is not that heartless like she likes to think.

I think you can imagine that other students calls her names. Like "freak" or "selfish" or "egoist". She mostly just ignore them (because she dont believe they are worth to explain why she is not these name) and pretend like nothing had happened, Talbott and Rowan know she actually care and wants to be more "good". More "likeable". She is just making everyone uncomfortable when she walks in and she know it. But there is nothing she can do. İts in her blood. She is just like her mother.

I feel like ı talk too much about bad thing. İts time to tell moments when Ravenclaw Night smile. She dont have a normally smiley face but of course she smile. And you know what? İts mostly because of her boyfriend. This girl has a big soft spot for Barnaby. She literally melt every time he talk. İn the beggining she thinks he is just some stupid Slytherin and not worth lose any time but after being friends (which is a miracle) she can punch you in the face if you call him stupid. (Dont test about how hard she can punch.)

How the heck this boys heart can be this beautiful? Like, boy your parents nothing but shit to you how did you turn into biggest and cutest puppy in the world? And again, how did he love her? I mean, look at Night and look at Barnaby. They are so different and he can be with literally every witch in schooli and yet he is with Night. She dont know what she did to be this lucky but she is not planning to let him go. Just watch her.

(And ı dont know if she will notice you if you dont talk with her. She will talk with you politely at first, dont worry. Just try to not say something about her being bad prefect or something bad about her friends or boyfriend, you will be fine.)

Slytherin Night 💚

It's finally Original Night's turn to shine. How about starting with why she is most masculine looking Night?

İt was because of Selina. After Jacob left, he was the only thing Selina talk about. She talked about how she misses him playing violin, his eyes that he took from her husband, his gentle voice. Unlike Ravenclaw Night, this didnt make our Night angry. İt made her jealous. She decided that if she wants to make her mom happy, she should remind her Jacob. Maybe if she can do this, her mom would miss him less and smile more to Night. So she asked Selina to cut her hair like Jacob's.

While she growing, she tried to act like Jacob. She learned violin, wore his old clothes. She even answered when Selina called her "Jacob". And it worked. Selina started to smile more, started to talking with her more, even she cook  special meals sometimes. Menu was always full with Jacob's favorites but it doesnt matter to Night. Her mom did it for her!

İn Hogwarts, she learned that she is nothing like Jacob. Hello,  dissappointment. She was too loud, too energetic, too friendly. She learned that she can't be Jacob for her mom. At first, it  freaked her out.

Thats why she didnt want to go Celestial Ball. Didnt want to wear dress and made her hair longer. (She did want. She just didnt let herself.) And when Andre and Rowan keep asking about,, Night finally tell them everything. You know what happened? Her two angel friends talked about hours how they love her in the way she is, how she dont need to be Jacob because its her own life and she deserved to be happy.

After a lot of hugs and crying, Night wore the dress that match her name, kept her hair short.

I made this too longer ı guess ( ı was planning not to tell about Slytherin Night...) but ı always wanted to explain why ı love her. İm proud of that she can make her peace with herself. Selina is still problem for her, and still will be problem in the future too but right now Night is free from the cage she made it herself. Of course sometimes her anxiety hit her and made her feel like she is all wrong but its not a something a few late night flying cant solve.

Am ı gonna make it longer because ı wanna talk about Night and Talbott relationship? No, there will be another time for that.

She is always open for more friends. Wanna play quidditch or make/ listen music or drink tea or cook something? Night will be happy to join you in literally everything.

[kendrixtermina]

Sorry but hearing ppl say “I would like CF more if Edelgard was either treated like a full-on villain or as a manipulated groomed victim of TWSITD who had no choice” and just generally seeing ppl trying to shoehorn her into one of those two takes,  it’s hard not to think the words “Madonna Whore complex”

I kinda abhorr the latter more than the former (Not the crowd calling her Hitler and clown-emojis, but I’ll take someone who considers something she actually did a moral dealbreaker over someone who defends her because “she’s just lashing out cause she’s traumatized”.. That’s Dimitri. you’re describing Dimitri.) because it goes against everything her character is about, which is mostly: 

a) A tendency to think in the big picture, focussed on mainly the end result, especially on the temporal axis (”The nobility system has only existed for 1400 years”, “This is all part of the ebb and flow of history”, “This is the path that leads to the least casualties in the long run”)

She’s always playing the long game - so dealing with the Agarthans later (once the church is taken care of) is the same as dealing with them now. She never went against the church instead of them, she’s playing them against each other. 

b) A rejection of tradition as a reason to keep things the way they are

c) An emphasis on self-reliance and proactivity instead of surrendering yourself to your circumstances. See the speeches she gives to Petra and Lysithea. 

She generally believes in ppl’s agency, she gives everyone an out, and likewise her generals and the non-recruited ppl are all shown as believing in her cause (Something even Seteth notes) - they’re fighting to abolish hereditary Feudalism and clamp down on corruption. You’re fighting a bunch of people who wanna abolish Feudalism and Theocracy. 

Claude wants the same but he’s hiding it because he thinks he can avoid confrontations that way (There’s pros and cons to both their approaches, and I’m not saying that Dimitri or Seteth are bad, either, especially not in the context of the world they live in) 

She’s basically a Nietzschean Superman but in the original sense not the cheap bastardized version mixed up with pseudoscientific misunderstandings of evolution: Someone who proactively lives according to their own beliefs regardless of the mainsteam in greater society. 

And herein lies another factor, I think,like I’ve often noticed a tendency in modern fandom that people can’t seem to emphasize with anyone who isn’t in some way marked as an underdog -  Leading ppl to argue that characters who are definitely not underdogs like , say, Tony Stark, are definitely underdogs. 

Of course in reality things aren’t so simple that you could make a clean split into “underdogs” and “not underdogs” - Some ppl clearly demonstrably have it harder than others but ppl can have it hard in one way and have it easy in others. (Dimitri clearly struggles alot  - but he’s also a king. One doesn’t negate the other.)

There’s nothing wrong with underdog stories, they can be very inspiring and cathartic - but they shouldn’t be the only kinds of stories. 

Even the most powerful  can see themselves as victims because we’re all just squishy meatsacks who can still be hurt, and even the most powerless might see themselves as in-control if that helps them feel better. 

It also goes into the trolley problem and the human illogical tendency to view harm done through action as heavier than harm done through inaction. A tendency to not want to rock the boat, to confuse stability with peace. 

There’s no difference between harm done through action vs inaction. 

It’s at best, a failure of object permanence - to understand that things still happen and change even if you dont act  - and at worst selfish pride and ego (I want to keep MY hands clean I don’t care if people are suffering and dying as long as no one can say it’s my fault... the counterproductive puritanical idea of morality as “good person vs bad person”)

This leads to this attitude where if they can think of someone as a “victim” then it doesn’t matter what they do, because, after all, it was just circumstance, but the moment someone makes an active, deliberate choice, all empathy goes out the window and they’re held to some impossible standard. 

For the opposite extreme, see Dimitri (mind you I’m not saying he should be judged either im saying that mindlessly hating both is equally nonsensical... the dimitri haters are fewer but they do exist), or worse, Rhea... who regardless of her backstory has objectively been in a position of power and privilege for a literal thousand years.  You know Dedue and Seteth are right there? )

Something similar is to be said about ppl who call “bad writing” or “waifu-ism”, or consider her a “manchild” because she... opens up around people she trusts? Expresses relief when an ally validates her in a moment of self-doubt? Gets into comical situations in everyday life? That’s just kinda consequence of living in close-quarters with her. 

“How dare you not fit into “misguided victim” vs “ridiculous bitch” dichotomy don’t remind me that some character I don’t like is a human being” 

They pressed that any deviation from that is “ridiculous” or “extreme”. Tell me again that someone who’s consistently calm, collected and intellectually-inclined is a “manchild” for telling her closest ally that she would like to take a day off sometimes and liking stuffed animals.

I for once really like that she’s tough and proactive and makes decisions that really impact the plot without being a flat over the top amazonian stock character with no emotion other than “grrr! men dumb” which is then never taken seriously as a threat. 

Actually this part alone would not even preclude her from being a victim even Osama Bin Laden had a favorite color and liked disney movies. Hitler liked his dog. Stating this is just acknowledging simple facts, not saying that you should have sympathy for them (which for the record, you shouldn’t) - I think a work geared at ppl over 15 shouldn’t have to explicitly remind you that “this is an evil person” every time one shows up, people can distinguish for themselves, and those who can’t won’t be convinced by a video game. No one can “make” you like or empathize with a fictional chracter peeps. 

[damnrightobsessedwithim]

NEW UPDATE

Im alive. I wish I was not. But I am. Please forgive me for being gone. I don’t know how to say this but imma be straight with y’all because i have no one else to tell. (and please don’t make a big deal about it)

I have major depression.

Depression is not me being lazy, ungrateful or selfish. This is me dealing, sometimes suffering, with depression. This is my demon running its black toxins through my head, poisoning my thoughts and feelings.

Depression is not an emotion, it's an illness.

Depression is a weight that holds me down, always present and demanding of all my time. It is a shadow that looms in the back of my mind, always taunting and jabbing and trying to tear me down. Some days, I just have thicker skin. And then sometimes, I feel like my depression is drowning me. It’s wading in an ocean of poison and I can barely catch my breath before I’m dragged back under. 

From an outsider’s point of view, sure, they would be able to see the positive things going on in your life. However, when depression strikes, for me at least, it feels like a part of my brain has turned off the switch to be able to enjoy things. If it's really bad, I'm unable to see the light at the end of the tunnel with whatever I'm dealing with. I can also feel like a shell of a person sometimes. It's as if my brain has temporarily sucked up my personality and misplaced it somewhere else. I'm there but not there at the same time.

I don't choose depression. My depression is always forcing me to watch its fake "reality" tale about how my life will always be rubbish, dark, etc and how I'm worthless. Sometimes I can fight it off, but other times it can catch me off guard and I believe it for a while. Depression, by the way, is one hell of a liar.

Sometimes I go back to what happened to me , I only see it in black, grey and white.What does it feel like? It feels like a very boring presentation about something I've never been remotely interested in. Then afterward my world is spinning and I have to struggle to get a grasp of what goes on.

Depression is one of the worst things I have ever experienced.

I tried to kill myself....Again....For the 6th time last week. scars are still healing. but i got “help” (if thats what you wanna call it)

I dont wanna blame depression but I am tempted.

But its really because i hate myself. Everything about myself. No one could ever hate me as much as I hate myself. So any mean thing someone’s gonna think of to say about me, I’ve already said to me, about me, probably in the last half hour!!!!!

So I am sorry to those of you waiting for Fic. But I cant Right now. I dont need to get stressed about the writing. it wont help. Or stressed about if yall are even gonna like it. I just need acceptance and people who really want me. Because right now i dont have that and my life is going down fast.

I tried to do what i normally do. But even now for some odd reason not even thinking of Arthur helps. I tried writing myself a letter as Arthur, but i knew it was me and those were my words so no, didnt help.

Sorry to go all emotional on yall but im mad ,sad, all of the above actually. 

[ssweeneys]

i’m having a REALLY bad day

or really past couple of weeks where work is concerned and i just wanna vent bc you know sometimes people out there in the working world understand ya know???

its long, beware. idek if i’ll keep this up its more so for me to just let it out.

so like i’m an office admin for a company (we’ll leave it nameless for protection purposes) and like i supervise receptionists for my office so i’m kinda an office manager but not technically? if that makes sense.

anyway. people these days just don’t want to fucking work like EVER and like to start jobs and then up and vanish to collect that unemployment which to me is really just dumb since there are rules to it in every state and nine times out of ten you’re making like 60% of what your normal paycheck would be and thats surely not enough to live on, so like ??? i don’t get it.

there’s been a constant rotation of receptionists come and go over the last couple of months and two girls who work for me have stepped in on numerous occasions. one lady is in her 60s and doesn’t know anything about computers and is kind of dense?? to say the least. nothing against old ladies. i actually find a majority of them cute or hilarious bc they say what they think and dont give a f*ck who it offends and sometimes that blunt honesty is refreshing and you just need it in a world where people bullshit you 24/7 to further themselves for selfish gain and yaddy yada

anyways.. over recent weeks she’s become more and more intolerable to deal with. i ask her to do things and she gives me attitude and its like the simplest of things.. like email this person, make sure you let this person know they got a package, etc, etc. she can’t do even the most basic of tasks without screwing up. her attitude is just atrocious.

and due to people coming and going i’ve had to alter our schedule a lot. recently, one girl requested off so i adjusted the older lady’s hours (lets call her--carla) mind you carla only works 1 day a week and i’ve been super generous in giving her the entire week of christmas off so -- yeah.

anyways the girl who requested off (we’ll call her nicole) told me she didnt need those days off anymore and so i fixed the schedule one more time to her original days/hours.

now, i print off the schedule every time a change is made and whoever is at the reception desk i tell them to let the other girls know and post it right by the computer they sit at every day so theres no excuse for anyone to say i didnt make them aware. well carla is not the brightest bulb as we already established and she doesnt pay attention so we pretty much have to coddle her apparently and make sure she understands (although its pointless bc she doesnt no matter how hard you try to explain something to her) ANYWAYS she comes in on nicoles day when she wasnt supposed to anymore bc the schedule was fixed, posted, etc. and she gets mad when i ask her why shes there. and yes, i understand that the rotation has fucked us all over and up in so many ways. she is not the only victim here. this has been stressing me out left and right and to no end for MONTHSSSSS. so like i get it? i’m sympathetic to that. i understand the confusion and frustration, i’m right there with them.

HOWEVER, because she’s annoyed/mad/whatever she gives me attitude all day yesterday and is flagrantly disrespectful. i’m her supervisor, regardless is someone upsets you, act professional.

but she doesn’t. we know that. or at least I DO. anyhow.. she’s mad. she’s pissed off right? she’s got an attitude. she sees the new schedule, she brings it to me in my office and asks if its the correct one for tomorrow WHICH SHE IS ON!!! let me make that clear. she was on. she asks if its correct, i’m in the middle of composing an email so i take a moment to respond ‘yes’ she huffs, storms off and goes “you know what? nevermind” i’m like.... okay?? i brush it off. i’ve been brushing off her poor attitude all damn day and i dont say A THING. BC I GET IT. I UNDERSTAND. IM SYMPATHETIC TO THAT. we all have bad days. we all get a little frustrated sometimes. we’re human, yeah?

yeah. right. ok.

so then like... carla is working the morning shift for nicole. both carla and nicole showed up. carla pitched a fit bc she came in and was already there and didnt want to go home so nicole was so sweet about it and said thats okay, she can work i understand. bc even though nicole is like half her age, she’s MATURE.

at this point i dont even understand why carla is so upset? she got to stay. she got the hours. she’ll be making the money. all is good right? WRONG.

when the next girl comes in for the afternoon shift, i over hear carla telling her about the mishap that happened that morning (yesterday) and my office is literally maybe 6-7 feet from the front desk so i can hear EVERYTHING that goes on. i mean this is my job. i’m pretty much in charge of making sure the office is running, our employees are happy, etc.

so yeah i over hear carla telling this girl that and i quote “yeah nicole came in this morning and the schedule was switched around and i stayed because i was already here. (then something unintelligible I cant make out bc her voice lowers) you know, it really pisses me off that this keeps happening.”

SHE SAID THIS. TO A NEW GIRL. MAKING ME, NICOLE, EVERYONE LOOK BAD EVEN THOUGH SHE GOT WHAT SHE WANTED, NICOLE APOLOGIZED, I APOLOGIZED FOR THE MISHAP, IVE DONE EVERYTHING FOR THIS LADY TO PACIFY HER OR WORK WITH HER OR COMPENSATE HER.

so its so infuriating, disrespectful and really downright disgusting for her to trash me, my name, etc to someone. but you know what? I DONT SAY ANYTHING. I dont cause a scene. I go about my business and let it roll off my shoulders bc at this point I know if I say anything its just going to turn ugly and I’m in a professional setting. Sometimes its better to bite your tongue, hold your head up high and move the fuck on about your business.

NOW... oh now, we’re on today. carla is scheduled to work. she came into my office, confirmed it, she was FULLY AWARE OF THIS.

so nicole calls her 5 mins before shes scheduled to clock in and is politely like hey you on your way? and carla is like oh no i don’t work today.

BITCH! THE FUcK YOU MEAN????? WE CONFIRMED THIS LITERALLY!!!!!!!!

omg i cannot at this point i really cannot

but lets proceed... so carla. she’s like yeah i dont come in, tells nicole to check with me. nicole comes to me, i smh and just sigh and am like ok i’m sorry can you please call her back and tell her shes supposed to be here and if theres any issues, transfer the call to me. so nicole calls her, they’re talking, carla is being a cunt (sorry at this point you are) and so i talk to her and shes like you know, this is so frustrating i came in there i asked you if i was supposed to work and you said no (the other girl she trash talked to idk who to name her) and IM LIKE SITTING THERE GOING ????? WHEN????? TO MYSELF BC WE JUST HAD THIS CONVERSATION

MY PATIENCE IS SO THIN, ITS NON EXISTENT AT THIS POINT IM OVER IT

IM TIRED

IM SO FUCKING TIRED AND SICK OF HAVING TO PICK UP THE SLACK AND DO EVERYTHING MY FUCKING SELF BC NO ONE CAN COME TO WORK, DO THEIR JOB AND GO HOME.

can i just make a point too that we make $12 an hour here. sometimes we are LITERALLY SO BORED we have nothing to do. we can read books or watch netflix if no one is around or i even have time to rp at times. so like THIS IS THE EASIEST JOB IN THE WORLD A FUCKING MONKEY could do it.

all you do is answer phones and transfer calls or send an email

its LITERALLY. THAT. FUCKING. SIMPLE????

so like i just dont get it

but back to the point... carla is arguing with me, basically saying my communication sucks, i’m unprofessional (which is laughable but ok) etc...

and i just cant hold it in anymore?? and i’m like well carla, i’m sorry you feel that way and i understand where you’re coming from but i don’t appreciate that you were disrespectful yesterday, you told (new girl) that you were pissed off about what happened and proceeded to talk about me in a really unsatisfactory way.

and she WANTED TO TRY AND SAY THAT THIS WAS A DEFAMATION TO HER CHARACTER. WHEN SHE FUCKING SAID IT!!!!!!!!!!! i mean you can’t but if you were to ask anyone i know i have freakishly good hearing and it gets on my family’s nerves all the time bc i need quiet when writing and i have to beg them to turn their tvs down low just so i can concentrate.

I FUcKIng HEARD THESE EXACT WORDS COME OUT OF HER MOUTH!!!! and she wants to sit here and say that i’m defaming her character.

NO BITCH. Im repeating what I fucking heard you say!!!

why would i make that up? why??? how does that benefit me in any way??? what does that do for me???? NOTHING! ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!!! i’m not benefitting from anything here.

in addition when talking to her on the phone i bring up the fact that she brought the schedule to me (the correct one which SHE IS ON) and asked me to verify if it was correct. but then proceeds to say in the same breath (contradicting herself) that she’s going off the old one????? like okay????? but you’re wrong?? SHE EVEN SAYS ITS AN OVERSIGHT ON HER CHARACTER, SHE ALREADY MADE PLANS YADDY YADA, SHE CANT COME IN TODAY

moral of the story is... she’s dumb. she’s a fucking cunt. and i hate people who try to spin things and victim blame and tell you you’re defaming their character when you call them out on something real they actually said because they’re scared little pussies and can’t just admit its what they fucking said.

yo i’d have a lot more respect for you if you just admit it. i’m not even mad??? i dont give a fuck what you think or feel about me. when i leave here every day i dont come home and cry about work or how people feel about me there.

work me is different from real me. I. DO. NOT. FUCKING. CARE. work people do not know me on a real level only a professional one. i am here to do a job, to make money, to pay bills, to LIVE. i am not here to fret over the opinions of people who do not follow me home, who do not know the real me. WHO. DO. NOT. FUCKING. MATTER.

POINT FUCKING BLANK.

THANK YOU AND GOODBYE

like seriously?? GOD FUCK! i’m so angry.

if you read all of this, like thanks for letting me vent to a total stranger lmao you’re a real one, may you be blessed today and always.

onto that note... i gotta get back to work. (lmfao fucking irony at its finest)