#call me basic but im goin with gold on this one

[the-pan-ace-writings]

Cartel Protection

First Next Last Masterlist AO3

A/n

im not gunna lie guys this one took me way longer than i thought it was going too, so im hoping ill be able to post at least weekly on Sundays. hopefully more than once a week

also!! Im not going to embarrass myself or others with attempting to translate Spanish and i think for coherency and comprehension i am just going to stick to italicized typing to indicate Spanish

Thank you!

   They found themselves alone on yet another airstrip. The chaos of the last mission washed away in cold base showers, and was forgotten over a basic meal with the remainder of their team. They had gotten orders that just Ghost with Soap and Badger were going off to Mexico to meet up  with the Mexican special forces on another tip off that Hassan was there. 

   It was a relatively smooth ride in a cargo transport to Las Almas, and passed in as much silence as Soap could manage when he hadn't sprawled himself out on several of the wall seats to sleep. 

   They landed in the early hour of the morning, the sun was barely rising casting a golden hue upon the new airstrip as they walked down the ramp to meet a rather stoic looking man. As they stepped out of the hull of the plane Soap was first to acknowledge the man as the Commander of the Special forces that they are linking up with. 

   “Alejandro!” 

   “Sergeant MacTavish” his voice was deep, and gravelly, he seemed less stoic as he was speaking, he reached for Soap's hand in a shake. Soap met it with a mild smile as Ghost and Badger finished getting all the way down the ramp and joined them. 

   “Call me Soap, That's Badger” he nodded over his shoulder towards Badger who  just nodded politely at the Colonel. Alejandro nodded and turned towards Ghost

   “Lieutenant, Laswell says they call you Ghost” 

   “Actually, I believes he prefers to be --” Ghost turned sharply to Soap and interrupted him

   “That’ll do.” Badger watched Soap’s face pinch up as he was foiled in his joke, he bumped his shoulder into Soaps as consolation before turning his attention back to Alejandro,

   “Welcome to the City of Souls' ' He turned on his heel and started walking to the first truck in a small caravan on the airstrip.

   “I've never been to Mexico” Soap took the lead following the colonel,

   “This isn't México,” Alejandro raised his arms to gesture around them, highlighting the mountains lit up in gold and the slow moving clouds, a small smile graced his lips when he spoke again “This is Las Almas” it was home to him, that much was obvious to Badger. 

   “Shepherd's contractors are inbound for reinforcements. They’re bringing hardware, they'll need room.” and there is Ghost, always straight to the point.

   “My base is your base.” Alejandro responded simply 

   “Good. Now, where’s Hassan?” Badger was a straightforward person but seemed to constantly be getting whiplash from the manner that Ghost spoke to people, he understood pleasantry always had their time and place, but maybe meeting an Ally for the first time was the time to use them regardless of how urgent their mission might be. 

   He was surprised that Alejandro took it in stride though instead of seeming off put by it,

   “Cartel Safe-house, ten clicks from here.” they reached the truck, “get in.”

   Ghost climbed in as Soap and Badger went to the other side, Soap stood dumbly for a second clearly trying to avoid the middle, Badger rolled his eyes and pushed him forward.

   “Get in chatty Cathy, ain't got all day” Soap looked taken a back before another more rougher push got him going,

   “Shut yer pus, im goin” He swatted at him as he climbed in and settled down with a huff, once Badger was in Soap seemed to purposely take up as much of his room as possible, Badger supposed it was only fair. 

   “C’mon, let's move!” Alejandro shouted to the rest of the caravan before climbing into his seat of the truck, he waves a head over to the driver, “This is my second in command, Sergeant Major Rodolfo Parra.” 

   Rodolfo smiled and leaned over to Alejandro just slightly, a look of false concern crossed his face as he spoke to Alejandro, “I’m afraid of Ghosts” Alejandro snorts and swipes at his shoulder before pointing to the road for him to start moving, he turned over his shoulder and looked at the men piled into the back. 

   “You know Spanish?” Ghost just looked away, and Soap shook his head lightly and muttered a no, Badger raised his hands and made a so-so gesture and then looked up into the rearview mirror to catch Rodolfos gaze.

   “Enough” Alejandro smiles at that before turning to Soap.

   “You will”

   The sun had fully risen by the time they made it to the colorful city of Las Almas, Badger was enraptured  by the colors of the buildings and the vibrancy of the people. The city was bustling for the early hours of the day, the streets were lined with cars and people chatted in door frames and in shops. A white truck passed them in the opposite direction with four men in the back of it. 

   Badger hadn't realized how much Soap had pushed into his space till he felt rather than heard Soap call it out, and he had to grab his arm to keep him from going for his weapon. He saw Ghost tense as well and tossed him a look before Alejandro turned around looking annoyed. 

   “Hey- tranquilo. Easy-- that's normal here.” he waved his hands as he spoke “Guns on the street is the jurisdiction of the police.”

   “Where are the police?” Ghost spoke up this time

   “Well, Las almas has a very serious problem, there are few here to uphold the law. And many of those who resist corruption disappear.”  

   “What about the military?” the tone that Soap spoke in unsettled Badger, these guys were supposed to be allies, interrogating them seemed like the wrong move. 

   “Well, because we are well trained, soldiers are recruited by the narcos” he spoke off handley as if he hadn't noticed the change in tone and instead looked at them through the mirror again

    "Why not you?” Ghost just barely avoided interrupting Alejandro, Badger tightened the forgotten grip on Soap before looking down at where he had grabbed his arm previously, Soap seemed to not have noticed that his grip lingered, Badger frowned slightly and tucked his hands back to himself and turned to look out the window again, watching the street go past. 

   He saw Alejandro lean back over towards Rodolfo and shrug his shoulders

   “We grew up here, they call us Los Vaqueros” he smiled at Rodolfo again but turned to look back at Badger when he spoke up,

   “Cowboys?”

   “Si, Cowboys, we love this place. And we will die fighting for it.” That familiar warmth was back in his voice from the airstrip, Rodolfo seemed to share the same sentiment,

   They drove past a street vendor at the corner of the street, it was a quaint little cart decorated with colorful cloth banners, Badger couldn't see what was being sold but did see the little family speaking with the vendor. He also saw the two armed men just a few steps away from the family. It was a stark contrast. Badger grunted when he felt almost the full weight of Soap pushing against him yet again as he tried to look out the window, Badger just looked over at Ghost with mild annoyance, he just rolled his eyes at him. 

   Soap started to lean back as they drove further away from them,

   “Kids, guns and balloons. That's a new one.'' Again with the confronting tone, Badger elbowed him back into his place in the middle and swatted away a retaliatory hand and gave Soap a stern look. 

   “Narcos use generosity to win over the people” Alejandro was watching ahead as the traffic started to slow as it became backed up. 

   “Even the children?” Soap questioned. 

   “Especially the children.” It was Rodolfo that spoke this time, a slight glare reaching them from the mirror again, Soap had the decency to look a little sheepish. It was clear he was getting annoyed at the interrogation that  Soap was putting up. 

   The traffic reached a standstill and they were stopped next to a taped off alleyway that had a truck and two bodies on the ground behind it covered by sheets that were covered in scrawling writing. Badger was mildly thankful that it was on the other side of the truck and extra thankful that Soap seemed to have enough common sense to not pull the same shit with Ghost, and instead just sits up more to look out the window without pressing into Ghost. 

   “What's on those sheets?” 

   “Nacromantras” Alejandro looked upset from the sight of the scene and it was reflected in his voice.

   “Cartel Cloths” Rodolfo clarified for them “Messages from El Sin Nombre. Warning, marking territory.” The caravan started moving again, Alejandro shook his head in disgust

   “Our streets are laced with death,” he said it like a curse before pointedly looking away from the scene. 

   “Who is Sin Nombre?” the misspoken name sounded rough from Ghost

   “El Sin Nombre,” Alejandro corrects him, “the Nameless, the leader of the Las Almas Cartel”

   “Where can we find him?” Soap spoke but then seemed distracted by a rather large mural that they started to drive by. It was painted on a three story house. It had what was clearly a symbol for the Las Almas Cartel painted directly in the middle surrounded by vibrate roses, motifs of the Madonna and guns, a banner was painted just below the symbol EL SIN NOMBRE filled the banner and just below that was likely more of the naromantras from the sheet but it passed to fast for Badger to be sure. 

   Alejandro was also caught by the mural, “ You can't, no one knows who he is. But he is everywhere and this a challenge” He turned back to Rodolfo and chuckled “But Los Vaqueros like Challenges” Rodolfo nodded back to Alejandro before he looked back through the mirror again looking back at Ghost specifically.

   “With your mask, you'll fit in well here, Ghost” Badger stifled a smile as he watched Ghost slowly turn his attention to Rodolfo in the mirror, his eyes were like ice and he just stared. Rodolfo's smile faltered as he caught Soap making a “don't do that” hand motion

   “Hey easy”  Alejandro tried to comfort before being distracted by an upcoming checkpoint, “Checkpoint, Its the Army, turn right, we’ll go around”

   Soap pursed his lips in confusion before leaning forward to question as the took the turn down a narrower road,

   “Why?”

   “Some troops are in the pocket of El Sin Nombre, like I told you. He is Everywhere” Alejandro looked frustrated, leaning back to speak to them “cartel is hiding Hassan in the Village across the river, let's hope he's still there” 

   The road they took turned into something that could barely be called a road, mostly just packed dirt from frequent use. They remained in silence for a while, badger was messing with his comm unit, pinning the ear piece into place and then started to mess with the inputs on the unit. He looked up and started to ask for the right input so their comms would all be linked but Alejandro had caught on to what he was doing and without having to ask to read off the correct codes to join their systems.

Badger fixed Soaps comms to the right settings as well and watched over as Ghost adjusted his. 

   They parked just outside of the village, Soap Ghost and Alejandro stepped out first and went to grab kits from the back of the truck, Badger was stepping down out of the truck when Rodolfo spoke to him, he was adjusting his comms unit as well.

   “I would’ve  thought someone with the name Badger would be asking all the questions” 

   Badger looked back at him a little sheepish, he had noticed how much all of  Soap's questions had bothered both of them, and while Rodolfo was better at hiding it than Alejandro it was still evident even if Soap hadn't noticed. Or cared. 

   “Badger for a different reason,” He looked over at him before he collected is own kit “sorry to disappoint” Rodolfo just patted his shoulder before heading over to Alejandro, who had just called for all the team leaders to circle up on him. 

   “Where are they holding Hassan?” Soap joined them in the circle with Ghost right behind him. 

   “White two story building, back of town” Alejandro fist bumps Rodolfo before pointing off towards a gate that seemed to lead into the town, and with a wave of his hand Alejandro leads them off towards the town, as Rodolfo takes his team off a different way. 

   They gather around the gate, Alejandro has bracketed himself to breach the door and coordinates over the comms with Rodolfo's team. 

   This town lacked the colors that Las Almas had; the buildings were all browns, whites and oranges, they all seemed beaten down and in disrepair. It also lacked the people that las almas had, there wasn't just less people here there was no people here and it left the town eerily quiet

   “Where are the civilians?’ Soap spoke up as he walked past a window that was broken peeping his head inside as they passed

   “Gone, Cartel took over people left, it's a hideout now”

   “Good place to keep Hassan then” 

   They approached another black gate and could hear the cartel men clamoring around as they started to notice the breach into the town, this gate was left partially open. Ghost pushed it further open and Alejandro went guns blazing through the gate with Soap and Badger behind on his heels. 

There was a brick building to their right as they burst through the gate and a white building down at the end of the slope little more than a hovel. Cartelmen used them for cover trying to avoid the hellstorm that was Alejandro's team. It was easy to clear them, they wore little for protection and seemed to only have rudimentary grasp on their weapons. Alejandro ordered a push forward. The man called Rodriguez moved with them as they pushed further into the town and into an ally. 

   Badger crossed the ally fast and took cover behind the white building, Soap cleared the final man from inside as they moved. More firing from further up the ally. Three more cartelmen dropped from their fire. He called another push up and made a break for a set of cement stairs and just barely took cover fast enough to be missed by incoming fire that broke up the brick wall behind him into pebbles. 

   Alejandro was pinned down behind the stairs unable to make anything other than blind return fire, Soap had pushed past Badger and peaked from the corner of the building into the alley way, took aim and downed the final cartelman. He called clear

   "Secure this house, then we go for Hassan” Alejandro ordered as he got up from his spot behind the stairs, he pointed to the orange brick house that ended the alley in a dead end. 

   “Cartel will move him fast.” Ghost protested as he also came out from his cover behind an abandoned cupboard against the wall behind them, he had taken rearguard with Rodriguez,

   “Then we move faster” Alejandro moved up to the teal door of the house, crouched low waiting to enter as soon as the door was breached. Badger moved to the door and waited for his signal to break it down. 

   The door almost shattered as he kicked it down, it was much thinner than he expected so he almost tipped into the room had Ghost not pulled back on his vest roughly settling him back on two solid feet before He Soap and Alejandro burst into the house, clearing it as they went. Badger and Rodriguez held rear guard until Clear was called again. 

   They joined them in the house, which was low ceilinged, dark and now littered with dead men, a great sight to be in a forgotten child bedroom.

   “What happened to the families here?” Badger asked as he entered the kitchen area

   “The cartels bring violence, so they leave '' he was short with his answer, gruff it was clear the lack of control he had on the cartels upset him greatly. “Lets go, get ready to move” 

   Soap takes the lead to the door in the kitchen that goes to the outside, Soap made a show of using the deadbolt to unlock the door, tossing a ”see its simple”  look to Badger as he started to open the door, Alejandro’s hand pushed the door shut, and pointed out the window “Stand By. Victor-2 this 1-1, Deploy smoke. We’re moving external” 

   “Copy, smoke out” Rudy called back over the comms and the plunging of smoke canisters could be heard as they struck the ground and slowly filing the atmosphere with cover

   Soap broke the silence that had comfortably fallen as they took the second to prepare for rushing the next house.

   “Where’s your Family? Alejandro?” Badger snapped his attention to him, eyes slightly wide and a grimace set in place. The man simply didn't think before he spoke. He flicked his eyes over to Ghost where he stood watch at a window. Ghost didn't seem to care about Soaps dumbassery and just rolled his eyes when Badger looked over.

   Alejandro took a deep breath before he spoke. 

   “I keep that a secret, hermano, to protect them.” it came out stern but not angry much to Badger's surprise. He watched as Soap opened his mouth to speak again, but was thankfully cut off by Ghost.

   “We have concealment” 

   “Let's Move, on me Soap” Alejandro clasped Soap on the shoulder, removing the hand he had blocking the door. The moment it was open Alejandro took off towards the large two story house just across the courtyard. 

   The door was broken into with ease and the first floor was cleared too easily, there was an unsettling lack of resistance for a house that was supposed to contain Hassan. It set Badger on edge. 

   “Clear! No Hassan!” Alejandro calls out as he moves towards the stairs, 

   “Second deck” Ghost orders as he makes his way up towards the loft, the rest of the team in tow. It was also cleared in seconds. Alejandro cursed as it became obvious they missed Hassan.

   The house was littered with dead men and weapons, it also was strewn with dolls and other toys, a kids bike was broken on the floor in the kitchen, the bedrooms had been decorated in accordance to those that had previously lived here, those that had clearly left the house in a hurry as boxes that had likely been hastily packed laid turned over just about everywhere you looked. 

   When Badger made it back up to the loft, Ghost was looking through files on the desk, Alejandro Soap and Rodriguez were discussing Hassan and the intel that they operated on. Badger went to the big bay windows and found a photo of the family that had lived here toppled over, he had bent down to pick it up when movement up on the roads caught his eye. 

   A Caravan was rolling into the village, and fast. They were tearing up the roads and kicking dirt into the air behind them. Badger sat back up quickly, the speed of the action grabbed the attention of the others, he was about to speak when Rodolfos voice broke over the comms.

   “Commander! Army is rolling in!” Fucking hell this was going to be bad.

   “Shit” 

   Ghost looked up from the paperwork on the desk to Badger, “What is it?”

   Alejandro answered for him. “The Army”

   Soap joined him at the window to look out to the ever closing Mexican Army Transport. He looked confused.

   “We’ve got reinforcements”

   “Negative.” Alejandro sounded grim. “0-3, fall back, fall back”

   “Copy that”

   Ghost caught on quick and stepped away from the desk and took up a spot couched in front of one the bay windows.  “What’re we doing?”

   “Covering my men,” Alejandro waved up to Rodriguez to block the entrance of the loft, dragging a shelf over to the door, and pushing the couch against that. “Once they’re clear, we fall back” 

   Soap was taken aback “You want us to engage the fucking Mexican Army?!” He had stepped close enough to Badger that he grabbed him and pulled him down so that he wasn't standing dumbly in front of the large windows and nearly growled at him. 

   “Didn't you hear a single thing he said in the truck Soap? That not the fuckin army thats the cartel payroll.” He roughly pushed him back as he let go and went back to leveling off the trucks in his scope. Soap flushed red, and a dumb ‘oh’ dropped from his lips before he managed to remember himself and join them in targeting the caravan. 

   “Hold your fire, we dig in until my men are clear”

   “Multiple vehicles, troops transport, light armor” Ghost calls out 

   “Hold fire, let them get close” 

   One of the trucks launched a large smoke canister, blocking them from seeing when and where the caravan stopped, but they saw troops emerge from the smoke with shields and take aim at the house. They have mere seconds to turn away from the windows before they're rained upon by glass shards as the windows are shot out above them. Alejandro called for weapons free. 

   The room thundered with fire, and it made moving for any extra cover nearly impossible. The few shots he was able to get in after getting up from his low crouch seemed to do nothing.

“They’re Armoured,” Soap shouted in annoyance. 

   “Target the helmets, they're weak” 

   “They’re using shields” Ghost shouted over the clamour as a well, it was clear that they were doing little to minimize the amount of combatants against them, the simply had to pull the fire away from Rodolfos squad and hope they could last long enough. Badger watched as shards of wood ripped away from the walls from the incoming fire, and cursed. It was quite a bind. They started falling back from the windows and just sought cover. 

   “Commander, we're clear!”  oh thank the light, they can start moving from this deathtrap.

   “copy ! rally at the safehouse!” Alejandro orders before turning to them “lets get the hell out of here!” He popped up from his spot in the corner and made for a shuttered window, tossed it open and hoped down and slid off the roof onto the ground and took off like a bat out of hell to a path that led down the ridge. Rodriguez followed with the same grace, then Soap. Badger rather fell from the window than slid but still took off the same as Ghost  reached the ground and followed. 

“Down the hill! We’ll lose them in the mountains!” Alejandro shouted over his shoulder as they raced to catch up with him. “Fan out and stay close” 

   It was like everyone just had the ability to melt into the forest with how quick he seemed to lose everyone and he hoped that he didn't get lost. Shots fired down from above tossing up small handfuls of dirt as high velocity rounds stuck the earth by their feet rather than them. 

   The army had caught up. They jumped off a steep boulder and rolled behind cover, turned and returned the fire. Rodriguez went down with a shout. He was nearby. Badger looked around and saw him face down a few paces away, He ran over to him and looked him over.

   “You're fine, let's get you up boyo” Badger pulled him up against the boulder they now shared as the rest of the team was trying to clear the army. Rodriguez groaned in protest of moving. “It hit your back plate, it'll bruise” Rodriguez nodded and tried to calm his breathing for a moment. The firing came to a sudden stop and they were hauling ass again, Badger tried to stay with Rodriguez to give him extra cover, he was slowly lagging behind. 

   “You know these trails?” Soap called out to Alejandro as he took the lead,

   “Very well, but do does the army” 

   “Cant hold off the Army. We need extraction” 

   “Rodriguez! Call for extraction!” Alejandro ordered, they stayed closer this time as they dropped down the hillside, more than once Badger crashed down off rock faces compared to the grace and Alejandro and Ghost demonstrated.

   “Contact!” 

   Fire rained from above again as they tried to find over, Badger pulled them behind a larger rock again and took up fire as Rodriguez crouched low, tucking himself into the cover between Badger and the rock, fiddling with his coms trying desperately to reach Rodolfo.

   “Control, victor 1 request immediate extraction at Soul River Bridge, How to copy?”  he was shouting into the comms. 

   The fire stopped again and badger pulled him up and kept him in front of him as they ran again down the hill, he continued to shout into the comms with no response

   “Rodriguez where are we with comms?” 

   “Mountains blocking out comms!” Rodriguez called back.

   “Your man got the call out?” Ghost questioned as they slid down a slope a bit further

   “Let's hope so” Alejandro laughed a little, 

   “What's the plan then?” Soap jumped down a boulder next to where Badger and Rodriguez were moving and he joined them. 

   “There is a bridge at the river. Extraction will be there.” Alejandro explained to them as he looked for a specific path to lead them down. 

   They reached a steep drop, Badger threw himself down it and rolled out of his fall in front of a tree when it exploded with an RPG. the force of it shattered the tree throwing shards of wood back at Badger, a shard struck him before he could cover. He was bleeding from the hairline, with a curse he stood back up and continued forward wiping roughly at his forehead.

   “Anyone hit?” Alejandro called out from cover as he was firing up the ridgeline, everyone called out a negative from where they stood firing hoping desperately that the onslaught of men would end.  Eventually it did.

   They seemed to be running out of places to run as the clift side seemed to come nearer, Alejandro stopped abruptly at the edge and looked back towards them,

   “We have to jump here”  Soap reached the ledge and looked over it down to something unseen by Badger.

   “Can we even make that?” Badger paled slightly at the comment of the unseen ledge and looked over to Soap and then back to Alejandro 

   “Are you serious?” It took a lot to keep the nervousness from his voice, it was one thing to jump from a plane and another to jump from good solid ground. If a parachute failed when jumping it was just a rush that ended quickly, who knows if he misses if the fall will kill him. 

   “Do or Die hermano” Alejandro tossed over his shoulder as he jumped, Badger made it up to the ledge to watch him fall down and slide across a very far and very thin outcropping from the clift, and watch him pop up and jump to an even further outcropping that rounded around the cliff face. 

   Soap followed bravely and executed flawlessly, Rodrigues followed with the confidence of someone who's done it a million times. Badger steeled himself and took a step back to give himself momentum for when he jumped down,

   He hit solidly and slid down the rough ground of the slope, and just barely managed to get his feet back under him for the second platform, of which he rolled onto and slapped softly into the stone wall. He heard Soap make a small sound of surprise when the other two on the platform let out a small snicker at his less than graceful execution.

   Ghost perusal just seemed to appear silently and unbothered as he crouched down, weapon in and and scanned the tree lines for snipers.

   “Where to, Alejandro?” Soap asked from his watch position. 

   “Soap push forwards, Rodriguez keep trying on the comms, the rest of you watch for snipers” Badger settled down in front of Rodriguez’s position and turned outwards towards the tree line mirroring Ghost who was a few paces away from him. “Soap, use that ledge there will be a way up the mountain”

   Soap disappeared out of sight with a grunt as he presumably jumped to whatever ledge that Alejandro pointed out. Badger could hear Rodriguez speaking into the comms again as he and Ghost looked for the tell tale gleam of a scope or barrel in the sunlight. 

   “Got anything?” Badger questioned over to Ghost who just grunted a negative in response. 

   “They’re out there,  believe me” 

   “control , this is victor-1, do you read me?”  Rodriguez sounded desperate as he looked back up to where he knew the Army was, the action made him look incredibly young and it struck something in Badger. He's quickly distracted though as Soap calls that he's found a way up the mountain, as they are just finishing getting up the steep cliff face Ghost spots a Helicopter with a curse. 

   “Get to a firing position. We’ll take them by surprise” Alejandro confirms the heli sighting and helps direct them back into cover.

   “Which way is the bridge?” Ghost asks as he pulls himself up last from the final ledge, following them closely. 

   “Straight ahead. Past the helo” he paused a moment in thought “they'll try to cut us off” 

   “Grand” the sarcastic excitement sounded wrong coming from Badger “then I guess we’re goin through them” 

   It was almost like he called for them to appear with how fast the Army dropped down from an up ahead ridge and immediately took to firing upon them. But they made it easy for them to return fire. The sun was to their advantage, casting their hiding spots into deep shadows and lit the ridge and boulders they took to walking on in bright golden light that simply begged for them to shoot the brains out of anyone who stepped too far forwards.

   The inched their way up in the shadows creeping closer and closer to the remaining army troops that had been smart enough to attempt to find cover, even if it wasn't successful. Ghost shot the last man on the ridge and called clear. It was a right mess on the boulders that they had to climb to get to the bridge.

   They pushed up the hill and Alejandro called out that the bridge wasn't too far; they entered the top of the hill. It was gorgeous up there, and had they not been running for their lives from the Mexican Army Badger would have stopped to just absorb the landscape. It was towering mountains and the sun hit just right to light up a thin waterfall that casted a shimmer around it. 

   Alejandro warned them about hidden shooters.  

   “There's the bridge”

   “No visual on extraction”  a curse ripped from Rodriguez that Badger didn't know but knew it as colorful from the bits he understood, he watched him take a calming breath though turn towards Ghost.

   “Comms didn't get through” Badger clasped him on the shoulders and gave him what he hoped was a comforting look. 

   “We’ll radio when we get down there” Alejandro waved them forwards and dropped an extremely steep drop off, and while Alejandro took it with grace even Soap had tripped up his landing and Badger downright slammed into the ground yet again. They took off down even more narrow outcroppings than last time, Alejandro taking the lead with Soap following, Badger kept Rodriguez in front of him and per usual Ghost took up rear guard. 

   They were quite literally shuffling along and outcropping no wider than a boot, when shots started above their heads. Bits of rock broke off from the walls from missed shots

   "Sniper! Move!” Ghost shouted as they all tried to go as fast as they could without slipping off the cliff, they had almost made it to a larger outcropping when another round of shots fired. 

   A shot ripped through Rodriguez's thigh, and he shouted and tipped forwards reaching out behind him, Badger surged forwards to try to grab him, but he slipped as another shot just barely missed him. Just for a moment he had Rodriguez in his grip before he fell too far forwards tumbling into the valley. 

   “Rodriguez!”  Alejandro shouted mournfully, and Badger was gasping as he was pulled further back onto the narrow outcropping, a hand laced into his vest at his shoulder. Ghost hurried him forwards keeping a tight grip on his vest. 

   Badger didn't hear the return fire from Alejandro but he nearly felt the rumble of Ghost's voice as he praised “Bloody good shot, mate!” 

   They all looked upwards as they heard the Army catching up to them again, their orders to follow them down the cliff side sent dread through Badger.

   “Army's still on our trail” Soap urged them to move, Alejandro looked down the cliff side remorsefully before steeling himself and then turned to take the lead again. Ghost let go of Badger as they looked off again.

   They slid to a stop at the end of an outcropping a bit further down the cliff face, it was a deadend. 

   “You led us to a deadend mate,” Ghost complained, looking pointedly at Alejandro. 

   “We jump from here, don't lose your weapon” Alejandro basically gave the last order while in the air, there was absolutely no hesitation before jumped off the clift, it was a solid moment before he splashed into the water. Badger took a nervous gulp. 

   Soap brave as ever followed quickly with a little whoop of excitement, he too splashed safely into the water. 

   Badger stepped forwards and hesitated a moment before looking backwards towards the ridge that he knew soon would be full of soldiers shooting down at them again. His eyes flicked to Ghost who surprisingly didn't roll them or slide off his gaze.

   “Your turn sergeant” it was missing the usual roughness that typically accompanied Ghost. Badger swallowed again before nodding and turning forwards again, pointedly avoiding looking down. 

   “Fucking hell” He jumped. And he damn near forgot to hold his breath until moments before he crashed into the water. Vaguely he thinks he hears ghost land in the water shortly after him. 

   When Badger resurfaces he tries his best to minimize the gasping he is doing, he barely manages to call back that he's okay when Alejandro asks. 

   “Move down river to the bridge, use the rocks for cover” they start down the river drifting from rock to rock and mostly travel under the water in an attempt to remain hidden from the banks. Alejandro attempted to reach Rodolfo on the comms. “All stations, this is victor-1 how to copy?” 

   Finally a voice crackled over the radio in response to them.

   “dow-1! Do you- say again,-o you’tre---?” It was an American voice. 

   “Radio is picking  up something! Soap sounded elated and looked back excitedly to Badger and Ghost. His smile dropped a little when he looked at Badger, eyes flicking towards his forehead. 

   Ghost made a sound of approval “sounds American” he commented and was promptly cut off again by enemy fire.

   Badger couldn't say he had the most experience fighting in water and had to admit it was adversely affecting his ability to be effective in combat. He swam to a rock that was jutting out of the water and clung to it to steady his hand on his weapon, that miraculously wasn't lost when he crashed into the water, and fired upon the right bank noting that more trucks were rolling in behind the current line of soldiers. 

   “Vehicles on the bridge” Badger called out and continued to swim up river as the bank was cleared,

   “They're not ours” another curse spilled from Soap's lips as he checked his ammunition, they're all low. 

   The river shallows out the closer they get to the bridge and thankfully more boulders were available for cover as they rose from the water.

   “We have to hold here and get extraction” Alejandro started firing upon the vehicles on the bridge, it was doing alarmingly little. 

   “We can't do shite against that armor!” Soap complains as he continues to fire upon the vehicles trying to target helmets again, when the voice that crackled through before returned

   “This is Shadow-1! Engaging the bridge north of your position. Danger close!”

   “Who the hell is that?” Alejandro shouted the question over his shoulder as he continued his fire.

   “Commander Graves, Shadow company, they're with us” Ghost responded as they all took the welcomed reprieve that was watching the Army be blown to bits and at the bridge collapsing with them on it. Ghost jumped onto the comms to confirm the hit with Graves, “Shadow-1, Bravo 0-7! Good shots! Fire for effect!” 

   “All stations, no enemy movement detected. You're clear” Badger let out a breath he didn't know he was holding, “Good to see you boys''

   “Likewise, mate,” Ghost replied and motioned for them to follow Alejandro to the left bank of the river and onto dry land and towards the bridge. Thankfully there was one ruck left behind. “Graves, we located a vehicle for exfil”

   “Roger that. Be advised, we got a possible hit on Hassan, two clicks north of your position”

   “That's cartel land, they have a compound there”    They reached the truck and dumped some of their wet gear into the bed of the truck, Alejandro hopped into the driver's seat and Ghost filed into the front passenger, 

   “You boys, good to roll up Hassan with some fire from the sky?” 

   “Lets wrap this fucker up, Graves” Soap sounded full of confidence for someone whos missed Hassan twice and was chased down a mountain, Badger couldn't say that he shared the confidence,

   “Solid copy. We are pushing to the target directly. Shadow-1 out” 

   Badger pushed himself firmly into the back seat and closed his eyes,  trying to ground himself and take account of his body. He was tired from the mad dash down the cliff and his forehead was starting to really hurt as the adrenaline started slipping from him on the drive,

   He felt Soap lean closer to him and he turned his head rather roughly to give him a mild glare, really not feeling up to his shenanigans at the moment. He was surprised to see that he had gauze in hand and a small first aid kit sitting between them, he looked startled at Badger not expecting the hostility. Badger looked at him confused before Soap gestured to his forehead, and Badger remembered the tree exploding, and reached his hand to the cut on his forehead, fingers coming away red. What he thought was water dripping from his hair was actually mixed with blood and covered a good portion of his face. He must have looked deadly if the worried look he caught from Soap was anything to go off of.

   He looked down at Soap sheepishly and let him take his head in his hands, Soap dabbed at his face carefully, occasionally gripping his chin and moving him about so that he could reach everywhere. Badger felt his face heat up and closed his eyes to avoid looking at Soap as he worked, who had drawn his lip between his teeth unconsciously. 

   It wasn't long until he cleaned up his face, applied a small amount of antiseptic, he cooed at Badger when he had flinched not expecting the sting, and applied small wound closure strips to the gash across his forehead.  

   Badger thanked him quietly when his hands left his face, and he leaned back into his seat. He looked into the rearview mirror and caught Ghost staring back at him. He flushed again and closed his eyes trying to catch the little bit of rest before they were tossed back into the frying pan. 

   He tried not to dwell on the feeling of warm hands now absent on his face. 

First Next Last Masterlist AO3

Thank you so much for reading! Please consider leaving a comment also i take suggestions for one shot and drabbles

[lostacelonnie]

Now uh. I must apologize it's been about a hell of a month a lot happened at once & I was havin a not so great time. Oh shit really? How was Croatia whats it like there? I hope school is goin well for you. It sounds like you had a lot of fun with it & that's what matters I'm glad you enjoyed yourself with the festival. Oh! Its doin a lot better I need to make an appointment for detail finishing I almost forgot. It's like. A forest at night lit up with a rainbow aurora. Best way I got to describe it. Me yelling at the weather when it rained 2 days ago & is warmer again today. Hot & cloudy sucks that feels like betrayal. I need to call the doctor again & see if they have openings yet that reminds me. Need to get on meds myself. May you one day get seele & sparkle. I too am saving as much as possible for firefly & I hope I can grab ruan mei too. Which happy firefly release day! Im sad it's the last penacony patch from what ive heard. Right!? Hearing she is mei was so cool penacony story is 10/10. Wait did you get through domincus round 2? Ahh I didn't get robin but I got topaz on a lucky pull. So re run time for robin. Boothill is fun but maybe later. I hope they add more ice units that department feels lacking. Did you get pela & bailu done? I still haven't. I'm gonna get clara for my 300. Thanks I did manage to get arlecchino & clorinde too really quick. Gold & gears is great & now new su mode via screwllum too. Also! New march 7th form soon. So that's cool. Clockie event kept up the good stuff & legend of the galactic baseballer too. Somnium files is a mystery detective game that was. Kinda fun. Weird as hell mystery with a lot goin on. Sorry again my life turned to madness hopefully I'll keep up a bit better now

HI HI HI!!! apologies for taking so goddamn long to respond, my already nonexistent sense of time is even WORSE during the vacations. damn i hope its better on ur side now!! i luckily have been Pretty Okay, with the school year ending and all. CROATIA WAS VERY FUN!! it was actually an academic trip for my mother so we did Marginally less exploring as usual but still! my moms colleague took us to a bunch of cool places. no sea trips tho since we were in zagreb which is quite a bit away from the coastline. but ohhh the mountains and the FOOD!! the food was SO good. theres this little [but very popular] place in zagreb called heritage with the best fucking food ive eaten in my LIFE. genuinely. school finally freed me from its grasp the last 2 weeks [altho i Did have to write some random short tests to get my red stripe] [oh wait you dont know what a red stripe is. basically the grading system in poland is from 1-6, with 1 being the worst. if your average grade at the end of the year is 4.75 or more, you get a little stripe of the polish flag on ur diploma, but we just call it the red stripe. im on a 100% streak since i even entered the education system!] so other than all that i just kind of fucked around with the entire 2 other people who even came to school. that is not an exaggeration like there were genuine 2 other people there. but i digress! the festival WAS a lot of fun. unfortunately the people from younger grades pretty often dont want to participate [i mean, i dont blame them, they just got here] so were pretty much Always short on manpower to the point we might not be able to organize one next year but thats just speculation that i hope doesnt come true ahsjfgh. OH AND THAT SOUNDS SO COOOOOOL......... and YEAH god its been a while since we started this topic and the weather STILL doesnt want to make up its mind. literally had one day ~27-30 celsius and the next around 15. annoying. and hey good luck with getting on your meds!! i got my stash covered for the next 2 months so im Chilling. god how good it is to be medicated. i feel like a deflated balloon when im not. and to think i lived most of my life like that...... AND YAYY THANK YOU!!! ALSO HOW DID YOUR PULLS GO?? i managed to get firefly and ruan meis lightcone hehehehe [50/50 won both times!]..... i was torn between rm's and firefly's but i decided i use rm in more teams AND shes like. My favorite character. so she got lightcone privileges this time. god im gonna miss penacony...... i mean were probably gonna come back here on some trailblaze continuance or whatever just like what happened with belobog and now the xianzhou but still. i Will miss it. such a well written arc. also actually im curious, whats ur fav sub-area of penacony? im a dreams edge girlie but i wonder if thats a common sentiment. the VIBE there is immaculate. AND GOD YEAHHH THAT REVEAL WAS SOOOOO GOOD. especially since it had so so many honkai references so it was basically tailored for me to like it hehehe. i DID eventually get through yeah! with slight pain but i Did. very fun bossfight although it was slightly annoying that we couldnt use our own team both times since it wouldve been much easier. CONGRATS ON THE TOPAZ!! and good luck getting robin in the future!!! i Have finally built pela and bailu (well, bailu is Still missing one good artifact but yknow she does her job even with what she has). now onto firefly and harmony tb.... god my relic AND planar ornament luck is terrible for both of them. pain and suffering but at least automated grinding is, as always, saving my sanity. ALSO WELT SINCE I FINALLY HIT 300 AND GOT HIM. IM FREE. JESUS. and WOO CONGRATS ON THE GENSHIN GIRLIES!!! i actually managed to get my laptop to cooperate with me so im also back to genshin. not playing too often since i also got into friday night funkin and its very fun But i will try to save for arle's rerun. about time i got a good elemental dps. THE NEW SU MODE IS SO FUNNNN I LOVE IT A LOT. and yeah new march looks very very cool!!! probs not gonna get her immediately but she will be mine Eventually.

wow i hit character-per-block limit. Coming Back. i Still havent played the clockie event since i heard it fixes acherons slash and i wanna keep it around a while longer..... but legend of the galactic baseballer Was fun i agree. and ooh that sounds cool!! also dont worry about it AT ALL like genuinely nbd. i personally might reply to your Next message slightly later than i already do (sorry...) bc im going on a summer camp for two weeks this sunday... pretty excited And the grass-touching is something i deeply need...

[prosaiix]

So I recommend this book to literally every person who likes Snape, but here it is again because I’m rereading it for the 7th time now. It’s just that good.

Uprooted by Naomi Novik. The author is one of the founders of Ao3 and used to write HP fanfiction (perhaps still does, not sure, she hasn’t posted in ages), and her original novels are fantastic. The reason I picked up Uprooted is because someone compared the love interest, Sarkan/the Dragon to Snape in a bad way when they gave a ranting 1 star review on Goodreads. They called it a Young Adult novel when it is very much an Adult book so I didn’t put much stock in their review in the first place, but the Snape comment sealed the deal for me. So ofc I bought the ebook right then and there—and was hooked by the end of the first page.

The novel is set in a valley surrounded by a malicious, sentient Wood full of spindly tree creatures called Walkers who snatch up the unwary who drift too close to the forest. They take the kidnapped people into the Wood and turn them into heart trees to further spread the corruption across the world; or they might release them days later, only you don’t realize it’s not your wife who vanished last week until you’ve cut off your own tongue and your own legs and are forced to watch helplessly as the thing that used to be your wife slaughters your children.

The only thing protecting them from the Wood is a wizard known as the Dragon, who lives in a tower at the center of the valley. He asks for only one thing in return for his protection: once every ten years, he chooses a girl from one of the villages to serve as his maid in his tower. And once their decade is up, he showers them in gold and beautiful dresses...and they leave the valley shortly after, to never return again.

Agnieskza grows up knowing her best friend Kasia is going to be taken by the Dragon one day. Kasia is beautiful, strong, brave, and highly capable at most anything she tries. But when the day of the choosing comes...it’s not Kasia he takes.

The Dragon is basically fucking Snape LOL. Like, it’s uncanny how similar they are (and im pretty sure its on purpose COUGH). The writing is phenomenal, the worldbuilding is just divine, the characters are incredible, and the romance didn’t make me cringe at all (I squealed like a teenage girl watching Supernatural when the first kiss happened). Even the (single) sex scene wasn’t bad thank g-d. Anyway, this is my favorite book so please read it. Her other standalone novel, Spinning Silver, is also a top fave of mine; it’s a Jewish Russian fantasy novel about the daughter of a moneylender who earns the reputation of being able to turn silver into gold, catching the attention of the frost king. It’s very Jewish and very feminist and just VERY good. (The frost king also has some major Snape vibes goin’ on actually lol.) I recommend Spinning Silver’s audiobook but don’t even contemplate Uprooted’s, the audiobook is so awful.

[obannthepunished]

uhhhhhh notes HURT WEEK im pains

"They call me eagle-eye fjord where i come from." "maybe raven. i dont know." that theory about Fjord being the Hawker is suspicious rn (Apparently theres a third i missed whoops) sam apparently similar thoughts maybe bc Nott brings it up

Jester finally teaching kiri basic phrases, like "go fuck yourself"

Beau + Fjord taking first watch

Caleb checking out the dodecahedron

(Unrelated odd point: i have a current dislike/distrust for liam, which is bullshit bc... i love liam. and caleb and vax. but apparently smt is wrong.)

Dodecahedron is Very Old, and has been shaped/polished Cay uses the haversack as a pillow

BEAU/FJORD Beau: "I think I messed up. I think I should apologise." I HURT? Oh beauregard. oh marisha. "i wanna try, I guess" F: I think he deserves that. He's been good to us. i regret not writing fic now 8(

"OOH, terrible" "YEP." "five" "five" (collective "ooh")

Nott + Jes second. they roll not great.

Tinkle tinkle "nnhnohfishnott"

Kiri is poofed up asleep aAW

trident goin for FRUMPKIN NOOO (pause whilst they look for range on dismissal)

Kiri wakes up "Go fuck yourself :("

Theyre waiting for fish head they could just reappear Frumpkin tho...

Jester is sacred flaming, Molly has a sword active + stabs, Caleb fire bolt, Nott fires an arrow, Fjord eldritch blast, Yasha stabby

Molly + Nott + Caleb miss Fjord hits, Beau hits, Yasha hits dunno bout jes

frumpkin poofs back but doesn't see anything else.

???? alarm lasts 8 hours, not until triggered yall it should still be up. they need to look up the spells smh

Nott messaging to tell yash to hide the bodies

LAst watch is Yash and Caleb i need to stop shortening names

Caleb asks Yasha for people advice :') He's writing it down... i love him Yashas advice is basically "Fucking Bathe" And cay confirms he keeps himself gross because people ignore him more that way 8( Baby

C: "Do you know what i miss? shaving." Y: "I could shave you right now with my sword. I've done it before, you know, to... not have hair on my arms-" Omg shes doing it omg theyre doing it omg I DONT HAVE TO DRAW FACIAL HAIR IN MY FANART ANY MORE FUCK <3333

cay forgets he has a dagger jesus fucking christ

i love everyone making comments + taliesins just amazed like, borderline heart eye emoji look at this whole scenario

M: (to Caleb) "Well done, she [yasha] likes you!"

Nott is Not Happy About Water N: I'LL STAY WITH KIRI everyone else: Convincing her to come N: I'll stay with kiri, and if there's any trouble... we'll see what happens

Fjord goes first, he sees, with his 60ft darkvision, architeture of room. mistly natural, some bits not.

Fjord botches his stealth roll but matt botches his perception even worse. and my thing crashed im so mad.

Fjord is Not a good swimmer. hes like. 30ft swimming speed. Things being left: Caleb's books (2) Molly's coat

travis willingham going "kiris gotta die" then dragging everyone who gasped through the dirt

beau gets fucking 37 on her stealth check Matt: "That's some vax numbers right there!"

The visual aid is... so extra. lights. smoke. what the fuck matthew. (note: when ur best friend is called matthew this is a phrase you say too much)

Surprise round for erryone but Molly and Yasha (purrsonally, i think they were too busy talking abt how beautiful cay is now ;3c)

everyone rolled shite for initiative tho

Caleb casting haste on molly O:

Fjord is very very adept at everything

everyone on crit role can do maths better than me 8(

the marrow fuck beau and fjord royally

watching call lightning forming + marishas face as she slowly realises :)

jes gets the first hdywtdt + crushes a fish with a lollipop

Caleb is taking blind potshots with the glove of blasting boyy. One even hits!

moll gets 3 attacks i love my beautiful devil child

N: Are you guys alive and do you need anything? you can reply to this message~ C: FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK N: oh,, alright.

Taliesin's relief when ashley actually hits is very good.

Beau goes down! D:

hi unrelated taliesin sticking his tongue out at sam fills me with indescribable joy

NEW: Horny twink gets double penetrated by feisty wet ones.

... which is to say two fish dudes stab molly.

Jes heals Beau, but we all know fine fucking well if she hadn't, Yasha would have done it on her next turn. still might since she's only on 11

Cay using dispel magic O:

Molly gets the second hdywtdt "I'm literally just a windmill at this point"

FJORD gets the third F: "I see Molly loojin' around, give him a little wink-" (murders) M: Fucking arsehole F: (witty comment) PEACE OUT (blinks out again)

"Sevens are scary" - Taliesin

Yash gets the next hdywtdt Xorhasian Neck Tie Jesus christ

I was right tho Yasha was seriously considering healing beau, it just takes her action

Two more fishfucks 8(

More call lightning

Sams flask says "lost my best friend over a bowl" and that hurtie

caleb is boutta die. Yasha is boutta die first lmao oh no. i love taliesin jaffe an inhuman amount. Yash gets pulled OVER beau and marisha makes like grabby hand motions which is VERY cute

ok NOW caleb boutta die. he Shield's, and then fragments "Caleb will remember this"

Beau looks at Yasha, looks at Caleb, and goes to CALEB (sobs) blasts a ki point and everything

Molly gets a nat 20 oh he's such a babe

Nott spending her turn justifying herself to Kiri

Fjord blinks back in and fucks up ANOTHER fishfuck

Yasha casting healing hands on HERSELF good.

"You dont have a printout of your character sheet????" "Oh yeah I do after you asked me nine times" liam wh

both yash and caleb are at ONE hp

B, spening her last ki point: HEYCALEBWESHOULDTALKLATER

Beau gets the HDYWTDT tho

Molly is Very Sick from losing haste

Caleb goes the fuck down Fails his first save

everytime tal says "im gonna try something weird"  i heart eyes emoji shame he cant do jack fuck though

Nott Burning Bolt shoots the fishfuck for 24 damage jeeeeez doesnt die but drops lightning

Fjord: (appears, fails, disappears)

if Caleb permadeaths i WILL cry

PLEASE YASHA PLEASE GOD JESTER PLEASE THEY KILL IT IM CRYING SO HARD no like literally i am actually crying bc matt very deliberately did that so that he didnt kill Caleb

Jester uses her pearl of power to regain a slot, and use it to cast prayer of healing for SHIT rolls.

Jester goes back to Kiri <333 baby. baby bird.

Matt mercer keeps using words ive only ever seen written and im ALWAYS ???? about their pronunciation

Fjord finds some L00t Like boxes and longswords and a pool of water with dozens of metallic objects mostly outlawed diety symols. changebringer moonweaver. others i forgot. stormlord. everlight. asmodeus ooh, bane strife emperor. and tiamat.

"a little black bird that's fluttering to try and get dry" fuck thats so damn cute. Marisha has the :D face

Calebs books are dry

wooden box + pool are magic. like. WITHIN.

Enchantment in the box. Molly collecting the moonweaver pieces

JESTER FINDS TWO SYMBOLS FOR THE TRAVELLER? HOLY SHIT Different make, pure silver one, burnished bronze another door arch with the road

Molly gets 12-13 symbols

Nott mage hands just so good even drunk

in the box is a blade, gold, jewel encrusted Molly shoves Nott aside to get it cause its a scimitar style

Caleb finds the arch-heart symbol? Takes one

Yasha takes 4 symbols for the storm god.

Bane/strife emperor symbol Fjord is curious about chained coffin he throws it into the pool. nothing happens.

JEster goes to pll it out and gets a big catseye yellow gem,  magical, but not a school of arcane magic. it has a line groove in it, very deliberate, an oval.

"something about that [orb] is very familiar"??? (Matt to Travis)

i was right about the orb being familiar

C: (abt the gold sword) This blade is called Summer's Dance C: "Mr. Mollymauk," M: "Mr. Caleb."

Blade allows user to cast Blink basically, and is stronk

official-europa replied to your post: uhhhhhh notes HURT WEEK im pains “They...

i think its probably misty step and not blink 

official-europa replied to your post: uhhhhhh notes HURT WEEK im pains “They...

on the sword i mean

caleb tries to ID the orb

fjord touches it "sky is moonlit + cloudless, clothes not your own, nor body, overcoat + human skin. thick calloused skin. left hand stone. look down, see body of previous owner, dead in blood. natural landmass seawater night. flash. right hand grasps falchion. voice booms. potential. jams the stone into gut, cCONSUME. vanishes into belly. looks into water. REWARD." "Vandrin."

i dont kn ow what the fuck is going on.??? everyone else sees this o shit

oh shit is the eye the symbol of Fjord's patron?

"he was my mentor, a captain of mine. a man named Vandrin." Y: What happened to Vandrin? F: I'm not sure. he captained the ship i worked on for many years, and their was an incident. an explosion, terrible weather, waves, "i was knocked overboard" when f woke up he was back on shore

"how did you survive" "I'm not entirely sure."

explosion was sabotage.

the pool is saltwater.

Molly shoves Fjord's head into the water

comes up "You okay???" "Do it again" "Tap three times when you're done!" Fjord drowns

they take as much as possible up and out and decide to dynamite everything in. dramatic exit..

They take the bodies down and lay them in the swamp to rest and decompose.

Beau tries to pull Caleb aside and he just stonewalls her until she actually apologises.

Caleb "I give beauregard a hug and say 'idont know what im doing. just. go with it." BEau very AWKWARDLY hugs him back Beau consulting Fjord, Caleb consulting Yasha The entire other side of the table clapping.

Beau: UH. GOOD TALK. FRIEND. (awkward silence) Beau: Seriously though. Friend? (pause) Caleb: Uh. Ja. (brb dying)

there is a single yellow eye on the hilt of the falchion.

episode END

[coldlittleturtle-blog]

mic drop.

“no need to see each other ever again, this is my last goodbye mothing more left to say, don’t even apologize”

i am done with feeling pity for myself. cause thats all ive been doing. cause i dont know what else to called for this never-ending stories. so here it is, the last rant. cause i am not gonna waste my emotion for u, there’s no more anger, no more hatred. goodbye. 

u know about u cant really relay on people. so u basically putting ur guards up and just keep ur circle tight cause u just people dissapointed u 

despite what ive been saying, that, i like this major- it cant help but have it perks.

like i know, having bad btch on groupwork one of the factors- but im saying perhaps this because of me, once again. this is because of my shitty self which need a lot of work.

i have been quite a mess since forever. my grades quite nice, i can say i worked my ass off for every score i got. despite that, still, im quite a problematic student. i skipped class. i went in and out to 'guru bp' or student advisory just to rant my thoughts and how it bothers me. 

the depression i got when i was on economic major and bravely quit, is one last straw. all i knew back then was i cant go on, this has to stop. and im sorry, but perhaps quitting this major and start a new life on would probably the best idea. well, maybe it was.

ive never felt the relapsing and recovery as real as those 9months.  i went off dancing. my emotional eating was at its highest. i become a master at numbing the pain. i cry every now and then, i cant sleep. i told my mom i went off watching kdramas when in real life- i just distract my brain from thinking stuff.  and not able to sleep soundly cause the terryfing dreams i'd face if i close my eyes.

im pratically high. i 'open' at any possible genre, even kpop. i always said kpop is just a bunch of beautiful boys that looks like girl. and they dont even use alphabet. but there i was, watching running man and fell in love with bigbang. loser got me. and then all the hype song they had which i can dance with.

i fought my battles alone. cause i had no one to go to. other than those suicidal preventions site and tumblr posts.

i found out talking to those student advisory when i was in school is a bullshit and just coverin my attendance which was mess cause i often skip class. fact is, everytime i 'ended up' skip class (aka skip school) i was already arrived- my nerves just got really bad and i cant bear myself getting out the car and go to school. why am i feeling this- cause i just done the same bullshit today. i texted my student advisory asked her for a private session. it'll be on monday, but yeah- i thought everybody goin thru the same shit why would i be important. 

so i asked her again to 'can i just share it here, no need to come directly to u' and she said she's on a rehearsal (shes a drama club supervisor too) and i went no, its okay it doesnt have to be now.  and now i dont know what to answer again or just 'not saying anything and just let it slide to monday'

the point is. i realized i have spent years talking to the same 'advisory' they are no help. theyre just there-

so i see this as a 'im not going back there again, imma fight this my own- imma share it to this little circle i have and NOT some strangers with titles'

bts saved me. those stupid tumblr posts saved me. and i found out i get help from those things- and not some strangers. after bangtan i met u. i opened up my wars. my wounds are wide open now, and i feel everybody know the real me. the shit ive been going thru.

i realized now.. i dont need to be moping around tellin my stories to people who dont even care.  but i can inspire those who can appriciate, and be a good person for them. a good friend, cause they know my worse, and they're worthy my gold. 

all im saying is that, i am done with all this. yes, i am likely to be having those days, but i will go through it simply. i am gonna work my best on school, i am done pitying myself but i will still know my worth. 

i am done telling the stories. but i am also done numbing the pain. i am going to embrace those shitty feelings cause thats what it means to be a human. and for my past- i forgive you. i will not talk about you anymore, now i am just grateful that because of you, i can be this person right now. 

i am still going to make a post about it, later on. but just know, that everything i will write in the future- will be just fine. 

this is my story. and i am gonna be just fine. 

[normcorehoney]

Every 2nd prime number

u always got my back ryan :’-)))

2 - do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day?

i mean i dont love it but i guess it depends on if my face was hot beforehand or smth

5 - are you self-conscious of your smile?

yea a little bit its rly lopsided imo but my teeth are nice at least

11 - what’s an inner joke you have with your friends?

omg uhhhhh maybe just like. p finn as a whole lmao its not rly an inside joke but its all i can think of

17 - what colour do you really want to dye your hair?

im sooooo indecisive but maybe like a light rose gold colour ???? maybe that would be cute but i prob wouldnt do it bc hair dye is High Maintenance

 23 - what’s your favourite thing to do on lazy days where you have zero obligations?

not get dressed and watch tv until i get bored and inevitably move onto youtube im a boring bitch

31 - what is your opinion on socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks.

i like me a good sock i have a lot of pairs of fun socks and i enjoy wearing them!!! i was in white sock hell for most of my late childhood and im never goin back

41 - what’s the last book you remember really, really loving?

im leaving out harry potter bc i havent read it in years lmaooo also i never actually read for pleasure whoops .. i read this book called ophelia over the summer and it wasnt bad it was basically just an adaptation of hamlet from the pov of ophelia whom i love and it talks about like before and after the play so it was cool idk

47 - what food do you think should be banned from the universe?

i am a Food Lover so i dont discriminate against food often ..... maybe peas i hate those fuckers

59 - what’s your favourite myth?

hoooo boy this is gna be a fun one after ive seen metamorphoses huh .... im gna choose from that since i dont know many others if any lol .. hmm i liked orpheus and eurydice but eros and psyche is cool too idk man

67 -  how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel?

contemplative and content but also a lil bit sad

73 - what are some of your worst habits?

ummmmm i dont rly have any that are detrimental to my life atm ... does not exercising count lmao

83 - what’s some of your favourite album art?

ooooooh i love love love the beach house self-titled album art it’s extremely my aesthetic :’-)) honourable mentions to innerspeaker by tame impala and hung at heart by the growlers

97 - myers-briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house?

i cant remember my exact MB type oops i think it might be isfp ????? but im a libra and a hufflepuff

ok thats it thank u v much