#caleb who has let others into his heart and been burned before

[dent-de-leon]

Thinking always of King who still feels so new to the world, excited and eager to explore all that it has to offer. Kingsley who is young and foolish--full of passion and still a romantic at his very core--but also inexperienced. Impulsive, acting on sheer instinct at first; he steals a kiss from Caleb in a moment of weakness, when the memories and dreams start to blur, and his own heart betrays him.

King who feels like he's falling in love for the very first time, whose never had a relationship before. And being alive again for the first time in the longest time, every feeling is sharp as a knife, cuts right through him. The world is too much, too vibrant, too bright; his heart pounding when Caleb holds him in his arms for the very first time, the barest touch lighting a fire in him.

King who wants nothing more than to forget the gnawing, all consuming, hollow ache of Empty, Empty--chasing any rush that makes him feel real and whole, keeping his body grounded in the moment to forget the ceaseless dreams that haunt him day and night. Kingsley who just wants to feel, and touch, and cling to another lost, longing soul.

Caleb whispering soft words of reassurance and gently parting Kingsley's hair, soothing him to dreamless sleep with a kiss on every scar. Caleb knowing what it means to feel as though your heart's been torn away, the desire to just lose yourself in someone else to forget ever feeling Empty. Even if they destroy you along the way--

Caleb returning King's first kiss, gentle and compassionate. Caleb being so protective of this once shattered shard of a soul--a broken promise and a broken stone, the memory of Molly lying naked and bloodied at his feet, the sting of tears when it all fell apart. "Empty no longer, Mr. Tealeaf." Caleb holding onto his Circus Man while he still has the chance, never wanting to let go--wanting so badly for King's first experience with love to be a happy memory.

[romeoandjulietyouwish]

Sitting Between Seconds:

Mollymauk and Lucien talk with each other as the latter dies deep down in Cognouza.

this for the one shot request.

Mollymauk has been watching for a long time. 

He’s not exactly a separate person, more just a…fragment inside a fractured mind. He watched his friends be beaten and bloody, he heard words coming out of the mouth that used to be his. And he heard his friends call out to him, and it worked, they coaxed him forward, just enough to protect them with what little control he has over this body. 

And he watches the final blow be dealt to himself. No, not himself. The monster who’s body he had taken for but a few short months. Lucien. A rather ugly name, he thinks. Mollymauk is much better if he says so himself. 

He’s dying, Lucien is at least. Mollymauk has been dead for a while, just a passenger for this latest romp. Nothing more than a bit of mud stuck to one’s shoe. He can feel the body taking shuddering breaths, he can feel the flesh beneath them. 

And for the first time in far too long, Mollymauk finds the strength to speak to this person that has carried him for so long, “Lucien, is it?”

There’s a long pause before the words echo back around him, with an added, “Mollymauk Tealeaf.” The words are spoken with a growl, as if the name were a curse itself. Molly rather likes that idea. “The parasite.”

Molly chuckles, “Not the prettiest name I’ve been called but certainly not the worst.”

“What do you want,” Lucien snarls. “At least let me die in fucking peace.”

“I won’t,” Molly responds, his voice deeper as well as the anger that he’s kept bottled up since Lucien has arrived starts to seep out. “See, you hurt my friends. You hurt Yasha deeply and it is for that that I hope you will never have a restful moment. You didn’t know them.”

“Nor did I want to,” Lucien replies, his voice weaker now. “They…do seem to love you quite a lot.”

“As I love them,” Molly responds easily. And with a burning feeling of anger, Molly turns it into love. Because his anger is borne of nothing but a deep love for his friends. Using the love as a guide, Mollymauk plunges deep into Lucien’s mind. 

He swims through the caverns of darkness and memories until he hears a laugh, Jester’s laugh. A sound he would never forget for all the world, he so adores making her laugh.

With a slight smile, Molly pulls towards it and sees the first time he met this crew, all of them looking ragged and worn, and somehow so much younger. That memory leads to another, their first night on the road together. Then to a memory of a drinking contest gone wrong.

He forces Lucien to watch memory after memory of the people who killed him.

Jester gives him a big hug, whispering her thanks in Infernal, he kisses her hair. I had never met another tiefling before her, she set the bar too high for all the others that followed, Molly tells the monster.

Nott tries to steal from him, but he catches her by the wrist with a fond smile. Tricky one she is, sticky fingers but a heart of gold. 

Fjord sits in the bed across from him, asking kindly about his swords, Molly tells him a glamorous lie. I never did know what to make of that one, so many secrets and yet he has such a bleeding heart.

Molly kisses Caleb’s forehead, hoping that it will get him out of his stupor. He is so fond, so dear, and yet he hides it all to shield his heart. How can someone not love him for that?

Beau flips him off, Molly doing the same in return. She’s a real tough bitch, loved her like a sister because of it.

Yasha braids flowers into his hair and he gives her a four leaf clover in return. I love her the most, so much that even when you reappeared, my love for her bled through, Mollymauk adds finally. 

“Why must you show me this,” Lucien growls, growing ever weaker in the split second that has yet to pass. “I know them for the buffoons they are.”

“Yes, they’re buffoons, but what does that say about you if they managed to strike you down?” Molly asks, his voice light with humor. “You were never a match for them. With hearts as big as theirs, all one needed to do was ask for mercy and kindness and they would have shown it to you. Probably,” Mollymauk chuckles. 

Lucien is silent for a long, long moment before he says, “At least I know that I’m taking you down with me.” 

Molly imagines himself smiling, “I wouldn’t be so sure about that. They’re some persistent motherfuckers. And in their eyes, you desecrated my corpse. I hope whatever hell awaits you, Lucien, is lukewarm at best.” 

And as the light begins to fade, Mollymauk grabs one last memory, pulling himself as hard as he can into it. 

In the memory, he’s standing in the rain. He’s but a few weeks out of the grave at this point, yet unable to talk. But as the rain falls on his face, he imagines it washing away the person he used to be. He imagines it welcoming the person he is about to become. And as he inhales the deep smell of ozone in the memory, Mollymauk fades. Lucien fades. 

But someone new steps forward, still wet from the rain of their past lives.

[dhampiravidi]

❛ i need to come. please, i'll do anything. ❜ (Cass to Caleb)

Because of his natural aptitude for magic and his near-perfect grades, the Order of Paladins had offered him an apprenticeship. Although he was sad to leave his town behind, he felt grateful for the opportunity, which his mother pushed him to take. His knight, Sir Harold, was one of the king's Chosen, the elite group who guarded the castle and the royals of Amenth. That was how Caleb Danvers met Princess Cassia of Keller. They were the same age, and they first spoke to each other when they were both perusing the country's famous library. It was hardly five minutes before they became friends.

By the time Caleb turned eighteen, he'd been knighted by Cassia's father, the kind King Aidan. In fact, the king appointed Sir Caleb to be the princess's royal bodyguard, who was supposed to follow her just about everywhere (except when she was indecent, of course).

That was why Caleb was with Cassia when she attempted to go out her bedroom window, which sat in the high Western Tower.

"Cassia! What the hell are you doing?" he cried, hand ready to catch her with a spell. He didn't expect to see tears in her eyes when she turned to face him. "Cass...what's wrong?"

"You know of the talks my parents have had with Voltumnia?" The crown had been brokering a major trade agreement with the kingdom to the north. It was an important endeavor because Keller had nearly exhausted its supply of adamantium, a magical metal used to make weapons and construction materials.

"Of course. Did they not end a few days ago?"

"They did. And I am the first trade they will make." Caleb's eyes widened--surely her parents hadn't agreed for her to be put to work as a maid or something worse? "I am to marry the king of that other country the moment I arrive." He felt his heart drop down to the floor. The candle flames flickered, subtly affected by his sudden sadness.

"...they wouldn't do that. Your father would never agree--"

"But he HAS!" the princess screamed, hot, angry tears rushing down her cheeks. Caleb went and pulled her off of the ledge, and realized she had both a satchel and a long length of rope, made from tied-together sheets and dresses.

"You were planning to run, not...to jump." He sighed. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Caleb...you cannot come with me."

"I always come with you."

"You cannot. It is not your orders." He grit his teeth.

"I always come with you. To your cousins' birthday banquet in Newport. To the pub you sneak out to every time you want mead. To the observatory each Friday," Caleb muttered, emotions swirling and burning in his chest. "Your father's first command to me was to swear my life to you. To you, and no one else. I am yours, Cassia! Did you think I would let you climb from your window alone?!"

She merely sniffled. In his frustration, he'd gotten closer into her space than he ever had--more than was appropriate for a person of her status and his station. He might have apologized and stepped away, had she not had pink cheeks and wandering eyes.

So he kissed her, softly pressing his lips to hers once before he drew away. A stray tear tried to run down her cheek, and he captured it with his thumb. She darted forward, kissing him again, and the two fought like that, trading quick kisses back and forth until they were panting.

"You love me..." Cassia whispered.

"Was there ever any doubt?" he replied, smiling. He had dreamt of them together so many times, but the reality was so much better. "So: off we go. I will climb down first, to ensure the rope is secured. Then--" She stopped him with a finger to his lips.

"Once they raise the alarm to look for us, everyone in the kingdom will be an obstacle. There's no chance this will work. If we are caught, you would be reassigned. We would never see each other again. If I marry..."

"No. I won't see you hurt. Why is your father allowing this?" It was no secret that the king and queen were estranged, unhappy with their marriage. Some said the queen even had a lover. It was also no secret that the king loved his daughter more than all of the riches he owned.

"We have no choice. We need Voltumnia's aid, and they want an heir...as much as I dislike this, hate this...maybe I must go through with the wedding after all. My parents have no other children, no other choice." Caleb opened his mouth in shock, then closed it, mouth set in a grim line. He simply nodded once, bowed, and then moved to leave. "Wait! Caleb...wait."

"Yes, Princess?" he managed.

"...I ask as...your friend. I...I ask for you to...be my first." They were both still at first. And then, he turned, sad eyes meeting her own. "It's not an order."

"I know. I just...I wish I could be your last. Your only." He had had his first already (a few times actually), with a blonde girl named Sarah before he'd been knighted. It was common in their land for young people to sleep with those who they never married. But young noblewomen were kept chaste, in fear that doing otherwise would make issues of inheritance more likely.

The armor that the Chosen wore was lighter than the armor a regular knight and/or cavalry soldier would wear. It was hoped that the Chosen would always be fast enough to stop any attack made on the life of a royal. So, they wore a combination of plate armor, leather, and cloth that came together in a fairly sleek design. This was what Caleb stripped off in haste, until he was down to his shirt and underwear. He was careful not to let his armor hit the ground too hard, because he didn't want the guards outside questioning anything...

And then he surged forward, pulling his princess into a passionate kiss. They moved like a river against stone, always flowing, always adapting to each other, until they broke apart, panting again. He was hard and she was feeling feverish in her dress, which hadn't yet been exchanged for a nightgown.

"Please--" Minutes later, they were naked together on her bed. There were no sheets, just pillows and furs trapped inside a smooth mattress, but they asked for nothing else. She shyly glanced at his decently muscular form, having never seen him outside of his armor. And he was almost overwhelmed by her soft skin and softer curves. He kissed down her neck to the valley between her breasts, then over her stomach and on the inside of each thigh. "Good God, Caleb--!" He gently shushed her.

"Have you ever touched yourself?"

"Y-yes, of course."

"Do it for me, now." Slowly, bashfully, she did, fingers ghosting over her stomach and breasts until she was rubbing her nipples and groaning, thighs desperately looking for friction. He stroked himself twice, long and slow, eyes locked on how her pretty painted lips twitched and curved. Without warning, he touched her where she was wet, earning himself a whimper that he encouraged as he teased her clit. His thumb drew circles, and she tried to move against his hand.

"Pl-please," she whined, not sure what to do next. He kissed her again, more and more until she was distracted enough for him to sink his finger inside her. Caleb heard her sob against him, and he immediately stopped everything, pulling her into a hug.

"Shh, shh, I've got you..."

"No...Caleb, I'm not glass. I want this," Cassia told him, sniffling a little. He looked at her for a long time. Then he kissed her forehead and slid his finger inside her again, gently thrusting in and out, slow until she weakly nodded for him to go faster. They did the same when he used two and then three fingers to get her ready, and by then, the princess was frustrated. "I want you in me, now--" He tried not to, but he slammed into her, filling her perfectly in one go. She barely had time to cover her mouth when she cried out.

Caleb closed his eyes tightly, loving how warm and tight and wanting she was. His hands were stuck to her hips, and he'd rested his head next to hers, struggling to control himself. She was still his best friend. He didn't want to hurt her, but the way her cunt was fluttering around him, and she was whispering his name like a zealous prayer--

He pulled out some and thrust in again, slower than before. That way, he could start a safe rhythm with her, one she quickly learned and appreciated.

"More." He gave her that, faster and harder, and suddenly her nails were lightly scraping across Caleb's back. He wanted nothing more to serve her, to make her happier and more satisfied than anyone else could. Caleb kept fucking his princess, his queen, and his heart until his name became wild, unintelligible cries that she was muffling with her hand. At that point, she was rocking against him, still playing with herself in the hope that she'd reach the thing her body was racing towards.

He took her hand away from her mouth, curious to know if she had anything to s--❛ i need to cum. Please, I'll do anything. ❜

Caleb nearly came himself at that. "Just where did you learn about that word?" Cassia blushed.

"The maids talk. And they let me read a romance." His eyes darkened. His cock was as hard as it was going to get. He started up again, then stopped, pulling out completely. "What--" Caleb lied down beside her.

"Ride me. You should enjoy it, I think." And he did. Some might've considered it profane, the way he watched her breasts bounce as her lovely voice hit new heights, the way he came right after she did and held her hips down so she kept moaning. But no one would doubt how much he loved her as he carried her to her tub, giving her a warm bath before he tucked her into bed.

They escaped the palace in the wee hours of the morning, and they enjoyed the sunrise by making love again, free from the confines of their old kingdom.

[casspurrjoybell-23]

The Raven - Chapter 33

*Warning Adult Content*

After giving himself a few minutes to calm himself as he watches Caleb's shadow form head in the direction of the tower, Henry sets off to find his dear mother.

After unsuccessfully scouring the palace for nearly half an hour, he reluctantly gives up the search, deciding to check on his new husband instead.

The tower is eerily quiet when he arrives, even more so than usual, the unexpected stillness sends a chill right down the prince's spine.

An overwhelming need to be close to Caleb burns in his stomach, inciting his feet to move faster as he desperately tries to get to his love as quickly as physically possible.

At the top of the barren staircase, he can see that the thick wooden door to the room he has been so frequently visiting is left wide open.

Panic surges through Prince Henry's body as he rushes forward, his heavy footfalls reverberating through the empty, concrete corridor as he hurries into the room.

His heart plummets into his stomach as he realizes Caleb is nowhere to be seen.

Swiftly, Henry runs back down the tower stairs and through the castle, searching for his mother once again.

Obviously, this must be her doing.

She better not have harmed Caleb.

Henry's steps slow as he comes upon Princess Elaina's bedroom, the sound of voices floating into the hall from within the room.

His mother is likely in there, considering her recent obsession with the princess.

Silently, the prince stops before the door to eavesdrop and is instantly filled with fury by what he hears from the other side.

"You saw them kissing?" the princess shrieks, the shrillness of her voice almost capable of shattering an eardrum.

Henry unknowingly flinches at the sound.

"But Henry is supposed to marry me. He can only kiss me."

"I am sure that vile being compelled him with his magic or something," the queen says. "I know my Henry would not do something like this, not with your wedding so soon."

Princess Elaina huffs, exclaiming...

"That vermin. How dare he do such things to my Henry."

"Do not worry, Princess. I have temporarily taken care of the problem," Her Majesty assures. "I have locked that disgusting creature in the dungeon, where he can no longer harm my son."

The prince would like to address so many details about this conversation with these two delusional women but he has not the time right now.

Fueled by a storm of emotions, Henry takes a deep breath to control the rage mounting within him.

He cannot focus on his feelings right now.

No, at this moment, his main priority is to rescue Caleb from his mother's evil clutches.

As quickly as he can, he makes his way to the dungeon to free his love.

When he finally reaches the underground cells, the prince pauses briefly to catch his breath, thanks to all the running he has done in the last few minutes.

Looking around the dark prison, Henry spots Caleb and his mother walking toward him, relief immediately filling him at the sight of his dear little bird seemingly unharmed.

"Caleb," Henry calls, grabbing the raven-haired boy's attention.

The raven perks up at the sound of his husband's voice, crimson orbs scanning the darkness until they finally land upon his prince.

"Henry," he yells, running into his husband's arms.

The two embrace for several moments, uncaring of the present audience or the possibly dire circumstances and simply relishing in each other.

"Are you okay? Are you hurt?" the blond asks, his hands on the sides of Caleb's head as he worriedly looks him over.

Placing his smaller hands over Henry's, he wraps his fingers around the other boy's, giving them a gentle squeeze.

Offering a soft smile, Caleb replies...

"I am fine."

"Let us get back to the tower," the witch says before mumbling some words in Prince Henry's direction.

"I have cast a spell on you to be unnoticed within the West Wing by anyone who does not have magical capabilities," she informs him, her tone hushed in case someone might overhear the conversation.

"The only two people who should be able to see you are Raven and me."

"Caleb," Henry says, his gaze narrowing at the woman before him, although she appears to be helping them right now, there is something about her that does not sit right with the prince.

He is determined to remain skeptical of her until it is proven otherwise.

"Pardon?" she asks, her brows knitting in confusion.

Gesturing to the boy beside him, Henry clarifies...

"His name is Caleb."

With a swift nod, the witch responds...

"Right. Well, let us go, then."

The trio quickly and quietly ascend to the very top of the West Wing tower, luckily remaining unseen by palace staff.

Once safely back inside Caleb's room, his mother looks between the two boys and asks...

"Now, who is going to tell me what exactly is going on here?"

The two princes are hesitant to spill the details of the recent happenings to the raven's mother, however, they understand that she will likely get the information regardless, as the news appears to be spreading through the castle like wildfire.

With their hands clasped firmly together in a show of support, Princes Henry and Caleb deliver their story to the awaiting witch, hoping that her reaction will be one more so of understanding than retaliation.

After gathering all the information, the raven's mother simply instructs the two boys to remain in the tower, assuring their safety within the barriers of the West Wing.

"Please just wait here for my return," she says, her words holding a suspicious sincerity that is entirely unfamiliar and discomforting to her son.

"I shall see what I can do about Her Majesty's objections to your union, perhaps, I will be able to convince her that it is not such a terrible thing. In the meantime, I would appreciate it if the two of you could remain out of her line of sight, I do not know if she will be so lenient upon you the next time and I fear my magic may not be enough to save you from whatever retribution she desires."

Caleb and Henry quietly agree to the witch's plan, however unsettling her words leave them feeling.

The raven recognizes instantly that something is unusual about his mother, she has never even attempted to show care or concern for him before.

Still, he would much prefer to get her out of his room swiftly, then, he can devise a plan on how to best avoid whatever is coming his way.

Or retaliate, whichever it comes down to.

Either way, his utmost priority is to keep his precious Prince Henry protected at all costs.

[tarydarrington]

I am using (slightly belated) WIP Wednesday as an excuse to throw out into the world a snippet of my attempted timeline shenanigans longfic from way back in July of last year, which will likely never see the light of day at this point but which still has a few bits and pieces that I’m very attached to

Minimal context: Aeor shenanigans have caused Caleb and an alternate version of himself to swap timelines; regular Caleb and Essek separately spend the fic trying to persuade each other’s evil counterparts that they can be better people while trying to get everyone back where they should be before the magic consumes them.

-

It takes a moment to put together that Bren is crying. Essek holds him through it, his own throat tightening at every shaking gasp for breath and every hitch of Bren's shoulders.

“Take me to bed with you,” Bren murmurs, and Essek’s heart nearly stops in his chest. “Please.

“Take what precautions you must; collar and bind me, if that is your wish.” His hands leave Essek’s cloak, instead coming up to cup his face, so warm it almost burns. “I will be him, for you.”

Those are Caleb’s eyes, red-ringed and wild, staring down at his mouth. That is Caleb’s tongue, begging for him.

He shakes himself. Not begging for him. Just begging for a distraction, for any attention that is not his own. Perhaps even for punishment he imagines he deserves.

Caleb has been this man - but he is not, anymore.

Essek folds Bren's hands between his own and draws them gently away from his face.

“There is a room on the seventh floor that is yours,” he says, and Bren’s face screws up with hurt. Essek holds his hands tighter. “If you wish, you may share my quarters, instead. I do not require the bed.”

Caleb had known that, when he had designed Essek’s room. He’s spent more than a few nights wondering, with varying degrees of optimism, why he had given Essek a bed anyway. A stroke of luck that Essek had not seen fit to change it, in his own imitation.

“But I do not believe it would be a kindness to…” He trails off, brow knit in concern. To take advantage of you in this state, is the end of the thought. But it would be no kindness to draw attention to his vulnerability, either.

Bren gives a sarcastic bark of laughter. “I am not asking you to be kind.”

With a sudden, fluid movement, his hand swipes into his coat, and the metal blade of a knife sings from its sheath. Before Essek can so much as raise his eyebrows, the sharp edge presses against his throat.

“You are dead.”

Essek smiles back sadly. “Of course.”

With a huff, Bren lets the knife clatter to the ground. In the same fluid motion, he dips a hand into his collar and retrieves another, this time holding it to the base of Essek’s skull. “You are dead, again.”

There is a knife tucked into each of his sleeves, three in his belt, one in each book holster, two in each boot, and several that seem to come from nowhere at all. Each in turn, with growing frustration, Bren draws free and presses somewhere vital. Each finds its way to the floor instead. The last, larger and less elegant than the rest, Bren tugs from somewhere behind his back. With jerky movements, he presses the point to Essek’s chest just over his heart.

“You are dead,” he repeats flatly. “That is what happens to those who show kindness to someone like me.”

Essek holds his gaze. The knifepoint doesn't budge as his chest rises and falls, digging a rivet into his tunic. It stops just short of breaking through.

"I am what happens when kindness is shown to someone such as yourself," he says quietly. His breath fogs the metal.

Bren’s shoulders hitch with a bitter breath of laughter. The knife point slips away. Expertly, Bren flips it in his hand until the handle faces Essek.

“Take it.”

Essek stares down at the knife. The handle looks hand-carved. This, he guesses, is not a weapon of the Assembly’s device. With gentle hands, he eases the knife from Bren’s hands.

Essek catches him by the forearm.

Breath held, never breaking eye contact, he tucks the knife into Bren’s belt.

“This weapon is not what you are,” he says. You were not born with venom in your veins. He swallows. “Choose carefully how you wish to use it.”

Bren stares down at him, brow furrowed, eyes still red and swollen. His eyes rake over Essek as though he is a puzzle that he can’t begin to solve. “You are awfully talkative, for a dead man,” he mutters.

Essek offers him half a smile. “Your hands are quite clean, for my murderer.” Summoning every ounce of will remaining to him, he lets his hand slide down Bren’s arm, fingers slipping carefully through the gaps in the maze of tattoos and scars to cradle Bren’s palm in his.

“I have a request,” he says. “Will you consider it?”

Bren gives him a dazed nod. Essek takes a breath, willing his own hand not to shake as he brings Bren’s up to press a soft kiss into his knuckles. Bren’s face slackens, eyes shining.

“Remain in the tower, tonight,” he says. “Remain with me until we can perform the spell again, and I swear to you that I will do whatever I can to help you, when you return home.”

He can’t follow him through the veil, can’t walk the path by his side - but he can give Bren every advantage he can. Lists of all the friends he could have if only he reached out, perhaps, and all the genuine care Essek can manage until then. With any luck, perhaps he will eventually believe it isn’t a fluke.

Bren looks back at him as though he’s never seen anything more baffling. For a long moment, neither of them speaks. Then, almost imperceptibly, he nods.

Essek lets his shoulders relax, and gives Bren’s hand one last gentle squeeze before letting it go. The way Bren’s fingers are reluctant to disentangle with his tugs at his heart.

“Your quarters are on the seventh floor,” he says. “Look for the door that…” He pauses, voice catching on the lump in his throat. Bren will be the first to see it. “The door that bears a carving of a cat.”

[kilannad]

Touch Starved

The first time the human—Caleb—shies from her touch, Nott isn’t surprised. She’s a nasty, horrendous creature, with thick, gnarled claws and snapping teeth. It hurts in her heart—the one part that is Veth Brenatto, always—but she lets it go. She wouldn’t want to touch a nasty goblin either.

Except, over the days of skittering through alleys and stealing food, Nott realizes something strange: Caleb does not flinch from the sight of her. He does not care that she is green and hideous, does not seem to mind when coins clink as she bites them to satisfying some deep new feeling in her gut. Caleb looks at her with a slow growing fondness, like a fungus he can’t get rid of.

But he flinches if she touches him.

Not because she’s a goblin, she’s coming to realize. So it’s something else.

Her first clue is that Caleb flinches from everyone. A woman in the street bumps his shoulder, apologizing as she keeps going, and Caleb’s breathing picks up. It gets short and fast and Nott pulls him into a dark corner and hovers. When Yeza did this—

She can’t think of Yeza.

But it is years of practice with Yeza’s anxiety that has her grabbing Caleb’s scrambling hands, gently holding them against her shoulder as she guides his head to her chest. She takes deep, exaggerated breaths, fingers combing through his hair with as much gentleness as a monster can give. He starts following, eventually, and she starts matching her breathing to the thump-thump of her heart pounding in her ears.

Thump-thump. In.

Thump-thump. Out.

Caleb’s breathing calms and then he gets stiff and she lets him go before another panic attack can hit. He won’t meet her eyes.

They don’t talk about it.

But she thinks about it.

Thinks about how she aches with the lack of touch on some days, how she feels like she’d burn the world if it meant getting a hug from her husband. And Caleb—who knows how long he’s been alone.

She starts small. Holding his hand in crowds. Hugging his leg and pretending to be a child when others speak to him. He always goes stiff, at first, with a sharp intake of breath that has her prepared for panic.

But he eases, eventually, and she keeps going.

The first time she curls into his side for warmth and comfort at night, he makes a choked gasping sound as he flinches away and presses close at the same time. She starts to hum, a tuneless thing she would rock Luc to, and he eases against her. She doesn’t mention the tears she feels when he presses his face to her greasy curls.

Nott has no idea what happened to him before she found him in that tight, cramped cell. But she tries to offer what comfort she can, little as it is.

[sapphicquill]

Critickle Role: something good to celebrate

(ao3 link!)

Rating: Teen

Characters: Caleb Widogast, Essek Thelyss, Mollymauk Tealeaf

Wordcount: 3584

“It’s just your birthday, dear, no reason to look like someone’s kicked Frumpkin so hard he poofed.”

Caleb sniffed, glaring over the steaming mug of tea in his hands at where Mollymauk was leaning against the living room door frame. 

“I can tell the two of you are planning something.”

His tiefling boyfriend laughed, the jewelry on his horns clicking together delicately. 

“Well of course we are! Like I said, it’s your birthday. We’re your partners. We’re supposed to plan things for you for your birthday.”

It was all Caleb could do to keep from pouting, so he elected to just keep his eyes on Mollymauk as he blew on his tea. Molly grinned at him as he pushed himself forward and plopped down next to Caleb on their sofa. 

“Come now, if you can’t trust me to be nice, at least remember that I’m not doing this alone. Essek’s helping.”

“That is not as comforting as I imagine you think it is.”

Molly laughed again, this time his head tilting back from the force of it. Caleb lamented the fact that he still had a nearly-full mug of tea and had only been awake for a half hour. He’d very much prefer to shut Mollymauk up and keep his laughter coming. Ah, well. Time for that later.

“Hey, I’m not that much of a terrible influence, am I?” 

“Hmm, that’s up for debate, I think.”

Essek’s voice came from the other side of the room, sleep-rough and warm and affectionate. Molly wiggled closer to Caleb’s side to make room for the drow on the sofa. 

“Love, please inform our precious, stubborn boyfriend that he has no right to be this suspicious of birthday shenanigans.”

“Your usage of the word ‘shenanigans’ probably isn’t providing him any comfort.”

Molly pouted exaggeratedly at Essek but didn’t deny anything. Essek wasn’t wrong.

“The two of you do not need to do anything grand, really,” Caleb insisted after a quiet moment passed. “It’s just a day.”

Molly looked like he wanted to say something in response, but Essek cut him a pointed look before focusing back on Caleb.

“We know, chathtiu. But will you at least trust that we won’t do anything that would make you uncomfortable?”

The look on Essek’s face, full of concern and what Caleb thought might be hope, was enough to push past the instinctive fight that always boiled to the surface whenever the human wizard was confronted with being given anything nice. Despite all of the emotional growth he knew he had made over the last handful of years, it was still dreadfully hard to accept the kind of warm comfort and support his partners were always quick to offer. 

“I suppose,” Caleb finally replied around a sigh, focusing his eyes back on his tea. The sofa shifted, Molly doing some sort of excited wiggling next to him, and Caleb couldn’t hold back a fond, helpless smile. 

—

Birthdays had been a touchy subject for Caleb for a long time. He had been so young the last time they could be considered even vaguely important. When his life had been consumed by Ikithon, he and Astrid and Eadwulf had made a few halfhearted attempts at celebrations behind closed doors, away from watchful eyes, but it had very quickly proven too difficult to even bother. 

Thinking about birthdays with his parents made everything inside Caleb burn hotter than fire. His eighteenth passed in a haze of false memories and an ache in the pit of his stomach. If he had it his way, his birthday would be nothing more than another day each year. 

But then he had been adopted by a group of ridiculously sentimental idiots with far too much love in their hearts to stand idly by while he continued to self-destruct. He tried, every year, to not be such a “grumpy old stick in the mud,” as Jester liked to say, but it was so instinctive to just let his walls come up and block everything out. 

It was lucky, then, that he had two very precious people who loved him so thoroughly that they wouldn’t let that happen. Caleb knew he could trust Mollymauk and Essek to not go overboard. Well—he could trust Essek to pull Molly back from whatever ridiculous plans he’d come up with and hone in on something that wouldn’t make Caleb want to crawl out of his own skin. He loved his partners fiercely, as much as he knew they loved him and each other. He could trust them with anything.  

Still, old habits die hard.

The morning of the accursed day, Caleb blinked his eyes open to the feeling of tender fingers carding through his hair and soft lips pressing kisses to his face and neck. It was a lovely way to wake up, but his keen mind quickly reminded him of the date, and unwelcome trepidation began to bubble to the surface. Feeling a bit like he was standing on the edge of a precipice, Caleb braced for whatever his boys had come up with. 

He held his breath when Molly bounced out of bed while Essek stayed pressed comfortably to his side, but their tiefling returned bearing only three carefully balanced mugs like he did every morning.

He felt his pulse spike as he entered their living room after getting dressed for the day, but the ostentatious balloons and ribbons he’d been picturing were nowhere to be seen. 

There were no lavishly wrapped boxes or suspicious lumps on his desk in the study, only the stacks of books he’d left out the night before. 

Their small kitchen was entirely devoid of colorful baked goods, just as it had been since Veth and Jester had nearly eaten them out of house and home two days previous. 

“Something wrong, sweet?” Essek asked as he stepped around Caleb to get to the still partially filled coffee pot.

“Ah, nein, it’s nothing,” Caleb replied after scanning the kitchen for anything out of place again. Perhaps he was being a little too paranoid. 

—

The rest of the day felt exceedingly normal. Caleb and Essek spent a few hours working on their current research grant proposal while Mollymauk sprawled on the small loveseat he’d insisted they put in the study—“If you two are going to toil away in there all day, I might as well get to relax while watching you be complete nerds”—pouring over a book on practical divination that Beauregard had snuck out of the Archives for him. When he wasn’t shuffling his well-worn tarot deck, the tiefling alternated between his two seemingly favorite activities: sighing dramatically in hopes of luring either one of the wizards to take a break and join him on the loveseat, or draping himself over said wizards in hopes of luring them into taking a break and joining him on the loveseat. 

(He would only ever admit it under extreme duress, but Caleb preferred the latter method of distraction, as Molly would always sneak devilish, wiggling fingers up under his shirt or skitter teasing claws across Essek’s pointed ears to aid in his efforts. It was always a very effective method of distraction.)

As the glow of the sun through the study’s gauzy curtains grew steadily more golden, Caleb felt familiar Infernal warmth press against his side. In a true testament to how much he trusted the two other men in the room, he didn’t even flinch at the sudden sensation.

“We should put a bell on you,” the wizard said softly, not looking away from his current page, “You are quieter than Frumpkin.”

“Nonsense, you just block everything else out when you’re reading,” Molly replied haughtily. The tiefling’s hands curled lightly around Caleb’s waist and the human held his breath. His anticipation only grew when he realized Molly was content with just resting the very tips of his claws threateningly against the spot directly beneath his lowest ribs on either side. He felt a shudder ripple down his back as his boyfriend lowered his mouth to Caleb’s ear. 

“It’s getting late, so how about we all call it a day and have dinner, hmm?”

And, well, how was anyone supposed to argue when they’ve got a very seductive tiefling fluttering insanely ticklish scritches across their waistline?

They order in from a little place down the road, a restaurant owned by a sweet old Zemnian couple that absolutely doted on Caleb every time he came in. It had taken a somewhat depressingly long time for their affection to not leave him feeling singed and aching inside. 

As he sat nestled between Essek and Molly on the sofa with a steaming bowl of hearty stew, something inane and trashy playing on the TV, Caleb reasoned that perhaps birthdays might not be all that bad, if they ended like this. Between the comfort of a familiar meal and the loving little kisses the both of his partners kept leaving on his skin, Caleb figured that he might have figured out what to finally answer when anyone asked him to describe the perfect evening.

But, of course, it was still early. The sun had barely set. Still plenty of time left on the proverbial clock to run down. 

As Caleb reached forward to place his empty bowl on the low coffee table, he caught Essek looking rather pointedly at Molly from the corner of his eye. Before he could open his mouth to propose changing the channel, Molly’s soft accented drawl cut him off, making his heart beat just a bit faster.

“Caleb,” Molly said, shifting to sit on his legs to better face Caleb, “Since it is your birthday and all, we should probably discuss your gift.”

A heavy, hard-to-place feeling settled into the pit of Caleb’s stomach at the tiefling’s words. Of course a quiet dinner at home wouldn’t be enough to satisfy whatever part of Mollymauk spurred him into making a lavish show out of just about everything. Turning back to consult Essek didn’t make things any better—the drow mage wore the smile Caleb knew from experience was a mix of fond exasperation (usually geared toward Molly) and warm support (generally directed at Caleb himself). He should have known he wouldn’t make it through the entirety of his birthday unscathed.

“Meine lieblinge, really, today has been lovely—”

“Caleb, dearest,” Essek murmured, reaching forward and taking one of Caleb’s hands into his own. Almost instantly, Caleb felt just how much he had tensed up at Molly’s words. With a heavy sigh, the human let his shoulders relax before turning back to face his other partner. Molly simply smiled patiently at him, waiting, and that alone was enough to get Caleb to finally acquiesce. These were his partners, the two pieces of his heart that he didn’t even try to imagine living without. He could trust them. 

“Ah, ja, what is there to discuss, Mollymauk?”

Molly’s smile spread into a gleeful grin, and Caleb caught sight of his tail wiggling excitedly behind him. 

“Well, we’re all very aware that you don’t think you deserve anything for yourself,” he continued, ignoring the mildly insulted noise Caleb made in response, “And honestly, between Essek’s extremely deep coffers and my penchant for scamming idiots out of their coin, I figured there’s not much you’d be in need of for a material present. So, our loving boyfriend helped me scheme a bit—”

“Ah, sil'iluuth, ‘scheme’ might not be the most comforting term appropriate—”

“And we’ve come up with what might be, at least in my opinion, the perfect present for you.”

Caleb had to smile at the extremely self-satisfied look that graced Molly’s features. 

“And so you’ve come up with, what exactly?”

Molly let out a low chuckle before leaning forward, bracing Caleb against Essek as he invaded the human’s personal space. 

“Well, if I recall correctly, you really love when we can get your keen little mind to quiet up for a bit.”

Movement caught Caleb’s attention from the corner of his eye. Mollymauk’s hands were pressed into the couch cushion next to Caleb’s leg, and he’d started gently flexing his fingers, drumming them in a slow, light dance against the fabric of the sofa, and Caleb’s keen little mind was quickly catching his lover’s drift. 

“And lucky for everyone here, the most efficient method of doing that is one you rather enjoy for multiple reasons, so it was a fairly simple decision to come to, in the end.”

He was so focused on Molly, already so flustered, that the feeling of Essek’s arms coming to wrap around his waist nearly caused Caleb to leap out of his own skin. The drow simply pressed himself against Caleb’s other side, his minutely cooler temperature a delightful contrast to the nervous heat currently coursing through him. The brush of his lips against Caleb’s neck pulled a gasp from the human, and his attempt to stifle it was severely hindered by the light caress of air in the same place when Essek spoke up. 

“Mollymauk, get on with it already.”

Molly’s grin somehow managed to grow even larger before he pushed all the way into Caleb’s other side, his own warm breath dancing across Caleb’s ear. 

“We’re going to tickle you incoherent, my sweet. How does that sound?”

Caleb felt his mouth go dry at the tiefling’s words. While it would still take a pack of moorbounders to draw it out of him, Caleb was a big enough man to admit quietly in his own head that he loved when Molly and Essek drove him out of his mind with tickling. Like Molly had said, there were a multitude of reasons he did.

Chief amongst them in that moment might have been the absolutely devilish way the words slipped from that sinful mouth, all clipped accent and raw desire. 

Presumably, neither of his partners were actually waiting for a response. Molly’s tone made it quite obvious that he knew what was floating through Caleb’s mind in that moment regardless of anything the human could hope to stutter out in reply. Essek’s fingers, dexterous in the distinct fashion of a gifted caster, started slowly etching random patterns up his sides, and it took more concentration than seemed necessary for Caleb to squash the giggles threatening to bubble up and out of him at the sensation. Unfortunately, the instinctual squirming that always accompanied those giggles was significantly more difficult to squander. 

Molly laughed again and leaned back enough to look Caleb in the eyes. 

“Honestly, we’ve both been itching to get at you all day,” he said softly, shared like a naughty secret in the shadows, “You don’t know how hard it is to keep from just pouncing on you and making you laugh until you safeword. We’ve really been remarkably good, haven’t we, Essek?”

The drow hummed in the affirmative, still keeping up a steady rhythm of mindless shapes and lines drawn into the human’s abdomen, and Caleb knew he was in trouble when he felt the extremely light drag of tiny elven fangs against his neck. He couldn’t possibly have held in the shuddering, giggly gasp that pulled out of him. 

Molly suddenly captured Caleb’s lips in a kiss, swallowing the wizard’s shocked little whines as he burrowed one clawed hand into the space just above his top rib, the other sneaking around to squeeze at his upper thigh. The teasy onslaught consumed Caleb’s consciousness entirely, perception whittled down into only the places his boyfriends were touching him. After a few moments—just long enough to feel like he was just starting to lose himself to the sensations—both Molly and Essek paused their ministrations, causing Caleb to whine a fair bit louder into Mollymauk’s mouth. 

“Patience, lotha murrpau,” Essek murmured before slowly pulling away from Caleb and going to stand from the sofa. Molly nipped teasingly at Caleb’s bottom lip before moving back himself, his tail quivering with poorly-concealed excitement as he pulled Caleb to his feet as well. 

“Might be a bit easier to do this in the bedroom, hmm?” 

The bedroom contained their (honestly a little bit ostentatious) bed, which Caleb knew had several concealed sets of restraints attached to it, so yes, that would make things a bit easier. 

The trio quickly made their way down the hall (with Caleb having to swat at Molly’s wandering hands the entire way). Essek made quick work of magicking the mountain of decorative throw pillows stacked against the headboard onto the floor while Molly stalked Caleb backwards until his knees hit the edge of the mattress.

A nervous grin had already spread across Caleb’s face—he was far too flustered to manage a stoic expression for even a moment—and the fluttering in his stomach was only quadrupled when two sets of hands delicately pulled his wrists and ankles to opposite ends of the mattress. He whined helplessly, squeezing his eyes shut when he caught both of them watching him with molten want. Molly let out a dangerous-sounding laugh as he connected Caleb’s bound wrists to an extra strap of leather poking out from between the pillows and the headboard. 

“Oh dear, look at that,” came Essek’s voice from his spot at the foot of the bed, checking that the cuffs around Caleb’s ankles were comfortably tightened, “It looks like we’ve broken him already, Mollymauk.”

“Mm, good, means we don’t have to work too hard to get him to actually laugh.”

A truer statement had rarely come out of the tiefling’s mouth. One pointed claw each swiped delicately above Caleb’s highest rib on either of his sides and it felt like pure lightning was coursing through him. A bright laugh punched out of Caleb’s throat, which only seemed to spur Molly into repeating the motion over and over, slow and steady. 

And if that weren’t enough to short out the human’s brain, the cool touch of Essek’s hand pushing the toes of his right foot back enough to wiggle clever fingertips into the spaces beneath certainly was. A rushed litany of Zemnian curses and broken pleading poured from him the moment the other wizard’s perfectly manicured nails touched down on his overly-sensitized skin. At his head, Molly cooed in mock sympathy. 

“Gods above, darling! I know you’re one of the most deliciously ticklish individuals I’ve had the honor to know, but really, begging already? We’ve hardly done anything!”

“Haa-h, Mollymauk, bitte, the t-heeeasing—”

Caleb’s own frantic laughter cut him off, Essek spidering both hands up his thighs as Molly dove back to his upper ribs. 

“Teasing!” Molly affected a melodramatic, affronted tone, carefully filed claws scritching infuriatingly against the ridiculously ticklish skin between his ribs and underarms, “Starlight, I think our sweet human has already lost his mind! I’m not teasing, am I?”

“Hmm, I think you’re right, love, there’s definitely no teasing of any sort happening here.”

Their banter was almost worse than their hands, and Caleb could do little else but thrash his head back and forth as his boyfriends carefully took advantage of two of his worst spots effortlessly. Of course, they both knew the wonderfully tortuous cycle—enough teasing would make the actual tickling twenty times worse, and the tickling would make every cruel word that fell from their lips feel as if someone had unleashed a horde of butterflies in his stomach. Sometimes it would hardly take more than the two of them talking and fluttering fingers threateningly to bring Caleb to this point, Common all but flown from his head and tears puddling in the corners of his eyes (Molly had been particularly proud the first time he’d managed to get Caleb to scream for mercy without even touching him once). 

But the electrifying feeling of their touches to his skin, switching between light, gentle tracing to rapid vibrating flutters to nipping pinches across his pale, freckled form were something else entirely. There was nothing else in his annoyingly keen mind but Essek and Mollymauk and the glee in their voices as they pointed out just how ticklish their brilliant wizard was, how much they knew he adored when they would take him apart like this. These moments were the moments Caleb lived for, craved just under his skin like an addict. How wonderful, that the two men he loved were more than happy to be his enablers. 

—

After what the others would later insist was just under an hour—despite the human feeling like it was far longer—and he had managed to squeal out their safeword, Caleb found himself being gently eased into their (also a bit ostentatious) bathtub, steam curling comfortingly off of the water’s surface. He reclined with a long, relaxed sigh against the lean, familiar chest of Molly, while Essek began rubbing soothing hands up and down his arms. Occasionally, a firm stroke would lighten to an almost-tickle, or Molly’s exceedingly devious tail would swipe across the back of his neck, but at the most, Caleb would let out a soft giggle before slipping back into a light doze. 

It felt a bit like his brain was melting out of his ears. 

Delightful. 

“So,” Molly’s voice vibrated through his chest, a soothing purr against Caleb’s back, “Good birthday?”

Caleb slowly blinked his eyes open, meeting Essek’s soft, adoring gaze as he replied with a simple, “Ja, very good.” 

Perhaps birthdays weren’t so much of a chore. If this was the new tradition, Caleb thought that he might just have to start looking forward to them. 

---

Undercommon:

chathtiu: firefly 

sil'iluuth: violet

lotha murrpau: little cat

Zemnian:

nein: no

meine lieblinge: my loves

ja: yes

bitte: please

[demigoddessqueens]

Hello, you might have seen this coming 😉😅

But how do you think mighty nien plus dorian in bed. Like how would tthey treat their SO in bed lets first time compare too when they have done it a few times 😅😅and like just make it smutty please 😂😂😂

I feel so fucking awkward typing this for some reason 😂😅❤❤ i will be patiently waiting 😌👹

Part 2: Fuck sorry forgot to add this to the request but the like second like where it is the first time vs many times, or something like that. It was supposed to e vs many timeS for example when the reader is being a tease to get another side of them out 😅😅 somehow thought I had written it but did not. Hopefully this is not to late 😌❤

I have foreseen. I pondered. and I like 😌❤️‍🔥💕

Tags: 18+, for smut and sexy time implications

Jester - you two had been flirting back and forth for some time, it seemed only natural to just finally resolve it; it starts off soft and intimate before becoming heated and personal; finally the night culminates in you two finally being together; both of you have had others before, but it was a new bond forming; 2 maybe 3 times that night is what solidifies it

Fjord - you always thought the warlock orc was easy in the eyes and you were never shy about making your intentions known; the blush is always on his face when you’re around, and when he fesses his feelings to you, you feel as if you’re j. Cloud Nine. He may not have had as many past experiences or relationships as you, but he makes you feel so special and wanted in his passions

Mollymauk - honestly it was a question of “WHEN?!” given how you two constantly flirted with each other; you two were not shy about spilling the deets so when you two finally got together (maybe 3-5 times that night 👀), you’re both left breathless with a “wow! Why didn’t we do that before??”

Beau - who knew bantering and sparring would make good foreplay; she had one or two experiences before, and given her life she feels more intimate and treasured with you; the night is passionate, heated, kisses and touches that mark the body. Given her endurance, you could go all night if you wanted

Nott - she knows what she wants and is unabashed in how she communicates; given her canon relationship, she’s had her fun times as much as you have; it’s a very free, fun, non-pressure type of environment that lets you two be carefree and fun for once (two or three times to be exact)

Yasha - silent and shy, you always wondered about her; when you both eventually pour your hearts to each other, and learn of the one she loved before, you hold her close instead and give her intimacy that night instead; you let her heart heal and give her the time and space she needs; when she’s ready, your arms and body are welcoming to each other

Caleb - the fire mage had an air to him that just drew you in; you were friends and knew each other’s past and present, but you wanted him in your future; when your journeys have come to an end and he assumes his position as teacher, the figurative flame finally burns; all the passion and love he held for you burns 🥵 all night and well into the next day as the desperation of a love-starved man has its grip on you

Essek - the drow always seemed so high strung and aloof, so your flirtations always go noticed; even a slight compliment here and there gets a reaction from him; when he finally confronts you about the attention, you’re just frank with him and what you feel for him; it takes him a while to come around but you’re willing to wait for him; Essek has had one or two before but despite that, he feels a bit nervous and trusts you too; it’s a comfortable night in the best luxuries for each other

Dorian - you could tell the bard was one who always had some burden to himself; your fancies for him were a bit obvious but denial of oneself can be stronger; no matter, you know what he means to you, and you freely express that; call it your confidence or your past that you’ve been open with, but he’s drawn to you too; initially, when you two do get together, Dorian is nervous but once you show him how he’s treasured and that he can let go, it can go all night and morning

[essekthelysssideblog]

Silent Poetry [Shadowgast ficlet]

Caleb has always loved dancing.

He has loved it since he was small, and his mother and father whisked him around at Blumenthal’s harvest festivals. His memory is not so good that far back-- a fact that may be either a blessing or a curse-- but he remembers warmth, laughter, safety. Innocence.

Then it was Rexxentrum, in the dance hall with Astrid and Eadwulf. These were more charged things: eyes meeting and hands touching and youthful adrenaline and alcohol rushing through their bodies. Each of them were so driven, in the unthinking way of instinct, to find warmth again after so many nights of the freezing cold.

He remembers one night in particular, how Eadwulf had crowded him up against Astrid, taking her hands over Bren’s, jokingly “stealing” her from him. In reality, he had only been holding Bren between their encircled arms, pulling them all into a closeness that they were desperate to reclaim for themselves.

It was a similar heat and breathlessness he had felt, over a decade later, as he and Astrid exchanged the lead in that same dance hall. The same pale eyes met his all over again, though now they were calculating, adorned with a scar. The fact that the nostalgia had been a manipulative ploy on both their parts had done nothing to make him less breathless, or less warm under the collar, even though he thought it probably should have. Especially when he had spotted Jester, magically disguised and watching them, and his heart had beat faster still.

Jester. He remembers, a bit further back, dancing stupidly, drunkenly in her arms, far away in lost love. He had been mortified, at the time, and then painfully ashamed. Later, he would think on that night as he tended to a broken heart. Now, he remembers that night with fondness. It had been a relighting, a reawakening of a part of himself he had believed to be dead, and he will always be grateful to her and the rest of the Nein for finding it in him.

Of course, he had thought about dancing with Essek many times.

The evening Essek had joined them for dinner and first revealed himself to be more awkward and lonely than his refined, curt mannerisms would let on, when he had slipped his shoes off for a dip in the hot tub, Caleb had imagined going back downstairs. Yasha would play her harp once again, he'd thought, and Caleb would extend a hand and Essek would quirk an eyebrow before accepting the gesture like a challenge, a test between them.

They would dance, both with perfect posture, still trying to impress the other, something with no true lead; a parody of equality, despite their awareness of the differences between them. Perhaps, Caleb had let himself imagine, back then, he would manage to surprise Essek, twirling him in his arms, once again proving himself impetuous. Perhaps he would catch a slight blush, a twitch of his ears. Caleb had imagined himself smiling easily, allowing Essek to return the gesture, letting himself be spun.

He’d considered it again, recklessly, at the party in Nicodranas. He’d fought a wild impulse to corner Dezren Thane, much as Jester had, and strongarm him into a turn around the dance floor: taking the lead, boxing him in, making him sweat. Still burning from his own conversation from Ludinus, he had wanted nothing more than to take back some control against the one who had fooled him so masterfully. He had refrained, mostly because he couldn’t be sure of what he wanted to find when he looked into those eyes, past the illusion he knew was there. Would the anger and hurt in his chest be appeased if he saw a hint of regret, or shame, as he had through Frumpkin’s eyes? Would it make him feel any better about this betrayal, any less like a fool to feel Dezren cling slightly to his arms as he pulled away?

Or maybe, he feared, Dezren would hold his ground, would meet his eyes and betray nothing but a cold, Shadowhand smile.

Later, there were other imaginings, cobbled together from scraps: Essek’s surprise as Caleb whipped around him in the freezing, Aeorian air with the power of a Fly spell. The hesitance, and then the small grin as his fingers moved beautifully to cast a spell he didn’t even need just to respond in kind. The space between them, wide, as much a part of the dance as the actors themselves, circling around each other and their friends, never close enough to touch. Locked in binary orbit, drawing the other nearer even as they held themselves apart.

How it actually happens is different.

Some things are the same as his idle imaginings. The Nein are there, and Yasha is playing her harp. They are in Nicodranas-- in the Lavish Chateau, this time-- and Essek is in disguise. There is that same look of hesitance, and then pleasure as Caleb makes his offer.

“I only know one dance,” Essek cautions, though he’s already taken Caleb’s outstretched hand, as gracefully as Caleb had once imagined. “And I’m not sure it would translate to this.”

“You could teach me?” Caleb ignores Jester giving him an unsubtle thumbs up, and especially tries to ignore what she must be telling her mother and father in such excited whispers as he and Essek walk past.

Perhaps fortunately, Essek hasn’t noticed this yet. “Honestly,” he is saying, “I’m not sure I knew it well enough to recall it now, much less to teach it.” He shifts his shoulders, purses his lips, and Caleb considers retreating for now; they are going slow with this thing between them. This is the first time they have interacted with their friends, with all of the Nein, as this new… Caleb-and-Essek thing that they are, now, and that has already been a large step to take, especially for Essek, who has spent the preceding days not-so-subtly fretting over it. Caleb does not want to push. The steps they take together are always, always cautious ones, despite that– or perhaps because– their trust in each other has grown unshakeable.

But Essek takes a breath, and smiles, and squeezes Caleb's hand slightly, and says, “Perhaps you could teach me? That is your speciality, after all.”

“Ah,” Caleb says, feeling his cheeks warm. “We’ll see about that.”

And after all that imagining, Caleb’s first dance with Essek is… good. Comfortable. Despite what he has implied, Essek is not a bad dancer, not really– he is a little unpracticed with his footwork, as is to be expected from someone who doesn’t use his feet with much frequency. He is a proud man who plainly takes his every misstep personally. But he is also intelligent, with a good memory for complex somatics, and he is stubborn and more than willing to struggle in the name of learning.

And, in any case, Caleb could hardly care about Essek stumbling a bit in his arms. Not now that he was finally there.

“Well,” he asks, as they find a steady rhythm. “What do you think?”

Essek’s confidence is returning to him, now that he’s found his footing. “I think I was right,” he says with a slight smile. He squeezes Caleb’s shoulder. “You are a good teacher.”

“Thank you for humoring me.”

“It’s hardly an imposition.” Essek’s expression shifts back to focus as Caleb leads him through a newer step. Though he briefly stumbles, he catches himself quickly, and, Caleb notices that his posture has never once dropped to anything less than perfect. The thought brings with it a wave of fondness that has him forcing back a smile.

Essek notices, raising an eyebrow. “What?”

“Oh, nothing,” Caleb shrugs, just to feel the pressure of Essek’s hand on his shoulder again. “Just happy.”

Immediately, Essek’s expression softens, the way Caleb first noticed when he kissed him on the cheek for the first time. The way it does so often, now. “Good,” he says, very gently.

And because he can, Caleb pulls Essek closer to him, their steps slowing into a simple sway. Essek falters a bit at first, unsure what Caleb is doing, but as Caleb rests a cheek against his temple, he seems to understand, allowing himself to be pulled chest to chest with Caleb, their fingers entwining.

“I have always loved dancing,” he murmurs, watching Essek’s ear twitch at the feeling of his breath.

Essek hums. “I can’t say the same. But I think I could be convinced.”

This time, Caleb can’t hold back his smile.

“Wunderbar.”

[makeste]

some follow-up thoughts on BnHA 285

1. “at that moment...”

you guys. I still can’t get over this. just -- guys. this is Kacchan telling the story.

he’s not the first character to narrate, mind you. characters like Twice, Tomura, Ochako, and Kirishima have all narrated in the past. but it’s always been past-tense narration of their own flashbacks, or else present-tense narration explaining their thoughts (e.g. Twice in chapter 115). Kacchan himself has done present-tense POV narration before. but this isn’t that. this is past-tense narration of an event that’s happening now. this is the future Kacchan narrating the present day Kacchan’s story.

has any other character done that, aside from Deku himself?? am I just crazy overreacting here, lol. idk but either way it’s cool.

2. “...there were no thoughts in my head.”

there was a post yesterday talking about Kacchan’s big moment at the end of this chapter being a little disappointing because of it being an automatic “my body moved on its own” save on Kacchan’s part. the argument was basically that it made the moment less meaningful because of it being a subconscious thing rather than a conscious decision on Katsuki’s part.

but I disagree! for me the “my body moved on its own” is actually way more impactful. and rather than describing it as “subconscious”, I think the word that fits better in this case is instinct. first of all, even though he says there were no thoughts in his head, we know that’s not exactly true, as we can see for ourselves the images that were flashing through his mind. I’m just gonna list them out:

“I’ll even surpass All Might and become the best hero out there.”

“why was it me who put an end to All Might?”

“I made a pledge! I will achieve absolute victory, every time! we’re taking this 4-0, no casualties! the strong don’t settle for anything less!”

“I’m not gonna lose... I can’t afford to stay a loser!”

“you... you looked like you needed saving.”

thoughts about what it means to be a hero. what it used to mean to him, and what it means to him now. thoughts about rescuing others. about saving to win. thoughts about his failures. thoughts about him and Deku. and last but certainly not least, vivid memories of a moment when he needed someone to save him, and Deku was there.

he has these thoughts, but he’s not aware of himself having them. it happens too fast for him to be able to process. but all the same, his body isn’t just moving here of its own accord. it’s simply that in this instance, it’s not thought that’s driving him, but emotion. at the risk of sounding INCREDIBLY CORNY, it’s not his head that makes the decision, but his heart.

and that’s why it’s so meaningful to me. in this moment, it’s not conscious thought that’s driving him, but emotion, instinct, will. he sees the attack, sees that it will hit Deku, and he just reacts. something at the core of him screams that he can’t let it happen, and he just moves. and to me that’s even more powerful than him consciously doing the math and making the sacrifice play (though I’m not saying I wouldn’t have enjoyed that as well). specifically because it’s a moment where he doesn’t have a chance to think or analyze or panic or doubt. it’s a moment that shows us who he is when you strip all that away from him. he doesn’t have time to get in his own head; he doesn’t have time to feel any fear; he doesn’t have time to think about himself at all. he takes himself out of the equation. he sees that Deku needs saving. and the rest is pure instinct. it’s the most heroic he has ever been.

3. “even if One for All is a cursed power... at the same time, it’s...”

I was wondering what was up with this part, lol. Caleb’s translation makes it much clearer; to Katsuki, OFA is both a blessing and a curse right now. the “cursed” part is becoming more and more obvious with each new chapter. it’s putting Deku in danger; it’s made him a target; it’s destroying his body; and there are other, darker and more dangerous factors also at play that Katsuki doesn’t even know about but fears nonetheless. I honestly feel like he’s been anxious about all of this ever since he learned Deku and All Might’s secret. it’s been on the back of his mind for months now.

but at the same time, OFA is what brought him and Deku back together. sorry, am I getting cheesy again lol. BUT IT’S TRUE THOUGH. All Might’s quirk gave Deku the chance to compete with Katsuki on equal footing for the first time. it forced Katsuki to acknowledge him. and both he and Deku have grown so much on so many levels over the course of this past year, and all of it stems back to Deku receiving this quirk.

and just... fucking look at these flashbacks, though.

unless I’m reading this completely wrong, the gist of this scene is that Katsuki is grateful for OFA because it’s what lifted Deku up and allowed him to try and achieve his dream. the scenes of Katsuki bullying Deku and burning his notebook are contrasted with the scenes of Deku standing up to him and vowing that he won’t be his punching bag anymore. Deku before OFA, contrasted with Deku after. I get the sense that Katsuki feels a lot of gratitude for fate stepping in and working to undo his mistakes before he himself could finally get his act together and start atoning for them as well.

and then that last page is really interesting, because it’s like the “blessing” and “curse” parts of OFA all together in a single image. Deku is going all out against Tomura, giving everything he has, ready to sacrifice himself if that’s what it takes. there’s so much strength there (even though he looks completely insane lmao), but at the same time it’s literally killing him. mixed feelings, for sure.

4. “Katsuki Bakugou: Rising”

last but not least! so there’s quite a bit of discussion going on about what exactly a “rising” chapter actually consists of, lol. Momo is the only other character who’s had one before (at least if you don’t count the movies, and the movie spin-offs). so it’s hard to say for sure with such a small sample size, but if I had to guess, I’d say the “rising” chapters are about characters coming into their own as heroes. Momo’s chapter was all about her letting go of her insecurities and starting to believe in herself. and this chapter was all about Katsuki letting go of both his fear and his pride, and just getting the job done.

in the span of a single chapter, he lets go of every single thing that’s ever held him back. I felt like we really got a glimpse of the hero he can -- and hopefully will, if future!Kacchan the Narrator is anything to go by -- become. he was amazing. he took charge; he came up with a plan that absolutely would have worked if Tomura wasn’t LITERALLY FUCKING UNKILLABLE LULZ; and when that failed, he didn’t hesitate to make the sacrifice play. Bakugou fucking Katsuki, He of Zero Rescue Points, made the fucking sacrifice play. do you even know how much I love that you guys. I love it so, so much.

but of course, when you make the sacrifice play it tends to have the not-so-surprising side effect of getting you ALL FUCKED UP afterwards. so perhaps a less ideal outcome than he would have hoped. but he still did good. and he stopped Deku from getting murdered, and so now hopefully Deku and Shouto can mount some sort of aggrieved revenge counterattack to do their fallen friend justice. time for my other two sons to get to work! maybe Shouto can make Deku some new arms out of ice.

[professorthaddeus]

batten down the hatches

They’ve gone over the plan a thousand times, yet Fjord can’t help running through it a thousand more. They’ve been preparing for days. There’s still so much they don’t know. 

At some point, Beau nodded off and Essek woke up, and now it’s just the two of them keeping silent vigil over the others.

Essek is a constant wave of motion, gliding slowly around the room, occasionally reaching out a hand to brush against the panels of colored glass. It seems he’s having just as hard a time getting his thoughts to quell. 

At least the movement is a welcome distraction—until he halts, hovering still in the air a few feet away, face unreadable. He pulls out a familiar stone from the folds of his cloak.

Dread settles cold in the pit of Fjord’s stomach.

He may not have Caleb’s perfect memory or sense of time, but he knows. He knows. It hasn’t been nearly long enough for Jester to have replenished the energy she needs to channel her not-quite-a-god’s power, for Yasha to have recovered from her wounds sustained in battle.

Essek’s holding the stone to his ear. The chill spreads until Fjord’s veins are filled with nothing but ice.

To his left, Caduceus stirs, his hand curled loosely around his staff. Ready to defend his family even in sleep. Ready to go down with them all at this site of ancient disaster, even though he has another family waiting for him far from here. He’s always worn duty like it’s a badge of honor. His quiet resolve and faith in the Wildmother’s plans for him have been a consistent source of admiration and inspiration as long as Fjord’s known him.

But tonight, he can’t agree. Death is not an option, no matter what the cards of fate may hold.

Yasha has a hand on her sword as well, and Fjord doesn’t blame her; his own fingers are itching to summon the Star Razor. They’ve all learned to be battle-ready and would die for one another in a heartbeat. But Yasha, more than any of them, has embraced the mantle of protector. 

Fjord only hopes they can watch her six in return, and she’ll survive to soak in the happiness she’s just starting to find.

Speaking of. Jester is curled up by his side, head propped on pillows the cats had brought down for her. None of them had suggested sleeping in their separate rooms tonight. Caleb may have tailored them to be as individually cozy as possible, but there’s nothing more comforting than feeling each other nearby.

As Fjord waits for Essek to deliver the bad news, he can’t stop himself from tucking away a strand of hair that has fallen across Jester’s eyelids. She’s given them all so much—her spells, her strength, her custom-made feast still spread out around them, and more than that, her easy laughter and fierce, endless love. He’s desperately, selfishly relieved that she’s here. But he also can’t stop thinking about her forcing optimism through her teeth before finally faltering.

“I lied to her, Fjord.”

He sets his jaw, tusks poking at his lip. It won’t be a lie. Marion will have her daughter back.

He looks across the room to Beau. Her position is a reflection of his own, sitting up with arms folded, though her chin has dipped to her chest and her shoulders rise and fall in fitful sleep. Not that it makes much of a difference. She’ll be the first one ready at the earliest sign of trouble.

It’s been incredible to see her evolve from someone brash, impulsive, and honestly, a little scrappy—though he’d never say it to her face because she’d punch him into paralysis—to the capable warrior she is now. One who fights tooth and nail for others and is no longer afraid to open her heart to her friends.

“Just thinking about the others.”

“I know. They look to you.”

“Let’s not disappoint.”

Fjord didn’t have a quarter of her bravery when he was her age. Gods, she has so much of her life ahead of her. He’s glad she’s getting a little rest. 

Somewhere out in the dark and cold, Caleb and Veth are sitting awake in the dome, hundreds of feet away from the rest of them.

He almost wants to slip out and find them, take them back to this sanctuary that Caleb has so reverently crafted to keep them safe. It’s wrong that they’re not all together in this final hour.

But no, they are together, because Fjord can feel them, waiting with bated breath just as he is, a prickle of something between anticipation and fear thrumming right under the skin. Maybe Veth is whispering morbid jokes aloud, pretending Caleb can hear her and nudging him every so often to remind him she’s there. Maybe Caleb is preparing to be a soldier again, analyzing every inch of the space ahead of him through Frumpkin’s eyes.

They’re going to be okay. They have each other, and Caleb is more determined than any of them to ensure Veth will walk away from this and return to her husband and child. And though Caleb may have written himself off, Veth never will.

“I’m calling my favor. If it comes to that, you will stop me. Utterly.”

A shiver runs through Fjord’s body. He made a promise, and he intends to uphold it, but it won’t. It won’t come to that.

Essek drifts over, that stone clenched in his grasp. He doesn’t need to say it; Fjord’s already steeling himself as Essek starts to speak.

~

Salt spraying in the air, water sloshing onto the deck. The panicked shouts ringing out amongst the crew are swiftly drowned out by sheets of rain pouring from blackened clouds.

The cresting waves around them are twice the size of their ship. Fjord remembers being awed by the majesty of her sails, the excellent craftsmanship of her hull. It all seems so foolish now. Who are they to think they can fight the sea?

He grits his teeth, the rope burning in his hands as he struggles to keep it from being wrenched away by the winds. “Captain, what do we do? Should we turn back?”

Vandran’s expression is strained, but his voice is strong when he speaks, and his hand is steady where it rests on Fjord’s shoulder.

“We forge ahead. There’s an end to this storm on the horizon, and we’re going to make it to the other side.” 

~

“The rangers have had a sighting. Troop of five approaching. They’re asking if they are to engage.”

Fjord’s gaze flickers once more to his friends. Caduceus. Yasha. Jester. Beau. Veth and Caleb outside, watching their backs. They have to make it. They’re going to make it. They just need more time. 

He looks up, locks eyes with Essek. Sees his grim conclusion mirrored there. 

“Yes.”

—————

also on ao3 | my other cr fics

[yourlocalfictionalenthusiast]

IN LIFE, IN DEATH...

PART TEN

:Masterlist:

A/N: And that’s a wrap! Ahh, writing this series has been so fun and I’m so glad that so many of you have liked it so much. Thank you guys for staying until the end and hopefully for upcoming stuff 👀 I hope you enjoy the finale of In Life, In Death... <3

(Also the song mentioned in part six and this part is ‘She Is Love’ by Parachute) <3

-

December 1994

Luke groaned as he woke up, squinting hard to try and adjust his eyes to the amount of light in the room.

Even before he could see clearly, he knew he must've fallen asleep in the studio judging by the soreness in his back and neck that he always got when he slept on the old couch. It couldn't have been more than six in the morning, and Luke could still feel the tiredness in his bones. So he tried to turn away from the light and hopefully fall back asleep, but there was something keeping him firmly in place.

His heart skipped when he looked down and saw that you were laying right next to him with your head on his chest and an arm thrown across his stomach. When he realized that his own arms were wrapped around you, his heart broke out into a full-on tap dance.

Waves of confusion ran through his still-foggy brain until he saw his guitar case propped up against the piano and his backpack on the floor with his clothes spilling out of it.

Then the events of last night quickly came back to him.

How he had gotten home late from rehearsal and his mom was waiting in the kitchen with his latest report card and her signature lecture at the ready. One minute he was standing there yelling, packing all he could fit into his bag, and the next, he was halfway to the studio with the rain soaking him head to toe.

He had expected it to be empty when he finally got there, but he was flooded with relief when he saw you. All the frustration slowly melted out of him the longer he laid there with you, leaving him feeling exhausted and shivering despite how warm he felt.

The last thing he wanted to do was talk about any of it, but when you asked, the words came out of his mouth before he could stop them.

He remembered rambling and crying again, the sound of your voice and the feeling of your fingers in his hair warming him up even more. Then finally, he remembered falling asleep with his chin tucked on top of your head, the smell of your shampoo filling his senses.

Without thinking, Luke reached down and carefully pushed a piece of hair away from your face, tucking it behind your ear and smiling to himself when you shifted into his touch. Then taking in a sharp breath as the realization ran through him all the way down to his toes.

You were his best friend.

The person he wanted to see at the end of a long day. Whenever he was full of anger or lost in confusion, all he had to do was look at you and everything suddenly made sense again. With your pretty smile and laugh, and your way of flipping that little switch inside him that made his head all fuzzy and the ground start spinning under his feet.

You were his best friend, and he was in love with you.

-

2020

All you felt was a mixture of anxiety and nausea as you stood on the Orpheum's street corner, biting the tips of your fingernails.

The entire plan hinged on Willie and Teddy getting everything done in time, and considering that they had betrayed you all before, you couldn’t help but expect the worst.

“Look, don’t worry. Willie said he’ll get us on that marquee.” Alex said nervously as he kicked pebbles across the sidewalk.

“This is going to work, right?” Reggie asked.

“It has to.” Luke mumbled, wincing seconds later when another shock hit them.

Two sharp pops cut through the air behind you and you all whipped around to see Willie and Teddy standing just a few feet away. Willie was watching you all carefully with concern written all over his face, his eyes lingering on Alex longer than anyone else. Teddy stood at the edge of the group, practically burning a hole in your face with his guilty stare.

“Are you guys okay?” Willie asked.

“Yeah, nothing we haven’t felt before.” Alex laughed awkwardly. “How’d it go?”

“Well, when the opening band wakes up, they’ll find their bus two hundred miles out of Vegas.” Willie said with a proud smile as he did a spin, showing off his stolen jacket with the band’s name across the back.

“With absolutely no chance of getting back in time.” Teddy added.

Luke gave Willie a fistbump and pointed up to the office above the Orpheum. “That means there’s probably a promoter up there freaking out right now.”

Willie grinned, sarcasm laced in his tone. “Nah, man. This is Hollywood. I’m sure he’s being very professional.”

You laughed and then Alex slowly inched forward, clearly struggling for the right words to say to Willie. You gave his arm a quick squeeze before following Reggie and Luke down the street to give them space. Before you even got halfway down the sidewalk, Teddy poofed next to you.

“You know, If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you don’t want to talk to me.” He joked.

“Teddy-”

"I just-I didn't want to leave things the way we did." He rambled. "I'm sorry, I should've told you everything that night in the diner-"

"Teddy, It's okay." You said. "You told me before Caleb could put the stamp on me, and you didn't know the details about the plan until after it was too late to help my friends. Plus, I know how much you're risking helping us now."

As soon as the words left your mouth, you felt some of the weight fall off your shoulders. You weren't sure why since the situation was still a little painful and awkward. But being around Teddy always made you feel a little like that kid who started working at the diner with Cece all those years ago. Besides, they were so alike that you found it hard to stay mad at him.

You held out your hand for Teddy to shake. "Despite everything, I'm glad we met."

“Likewise, Gorgeous,” Teddy said with a relieved smile as he grasped your hand. With a subtle wink, he nodded over towards where Luke was standing at the end of the street. “He’s a lucky guy.”

"What? How did you?-" You sputtered as he stepped away. You never told Teddy about Luke, or at least you didn't think you did.

Teddy just smirked in response before disappearing into the air. At the same time, you saw Willie skate away out of the corner of your eye, leaving Alex alone on the sidewalk.

You all phased next to him and Luke squeezed his shoulder reassuringly. "You okay, man?"

"Yeah. I'm good." Alex smiled slyly as he gestured to the office. "Looks like this show needs a new opening act though."

You grinned. "Let's go see if we can help with that."

-

When you got back to the studio, you found Julie pacing back and forth in the middle of the room as she wrung her hands together.

When you all poofed in, she immediately jumped into a load of questions, losing her breath halfway through and flailing her arms around.

"Whoa, just sit down," You laughed excitedly. "We'll tell you everything."

Julie took a gasping breath and plopped backwards onto the couch then stared at you all with expectant eyes. "Well?"

"It worked!" You announced. "Everything's fine."

"You should be getting the call...now!" Alex pointed to Julie’s phone on the table just as it started buzzing. You all cheered and Julie shushed you as she answered the call.

You heard a woman's voice say something through the phone and Julie gave a thumbs-up as she started jumping on the couch. You watched in amusement and mild horror as Luke and Reggie lifted Alex up into the air and spun him around.

Once he was back on the ground, Luke and Reggie made a beeline for you, each of them grabbed one of your arms and flipped you upside down over their shoulders.

You all spent the next twenty minutes laughing and screaming and Alex even got a little teary-eyed but you pretended not to notice. Then Julie called Flynn and ran off excitedly to decide her outfit for the night, leaving the four of you alone to plan out the setlist.

“Okay, so I’m thinking we start with Stand Tall.” Luke said excitedly as he wrote the words down in his songbook.

“Sounds good.” Reggie said, suddenly quiet.

“’Sounds good’? Guys, I wanna hear ‘That sounds awesome!” Luke reached out and nudged Reggie’s shoulder. “I know this isn’t the way we imagined any of this. But we need to be all in tonight. This is our second chance to play the Orpheum!”

“I get it.” Reggie sputtered. “But it’s hard. Do we even know what’s on the other side when we cross over? Do we still get to hang out together?”

You shifted your weight as the happy little bubble surrounding you popped. You had been so wrapped up in the excitement of finally playing the Orpheum that you almost forgot what tonight was really about.

“You guys are the only family I have.” Reggie’s eyes were glued to the piano as he played with his fingers. You reached out and locked his arm with yours in an attempt to comfort him.

“I don’t know what’s gonna happen either. But it’s not like we have a choice.” Alex said.

Suddenly, Reggie’s arm fell out of yours as all three boys fell back, clutching their sides.

“I’m pretty sure we do.” Reggie groaned. “And it rhymes with ‘Hollywood Ghost Club’.”

The garage doors creaked open and Julie appeared with a bright smile and a blue garment bag in her hand. When she saw your expressions, her smile fell. “What’s wrong?”

“We just got hit pretty hard by one of those jolts.” Alex said. “But we’re fine.”

“Oh, good.” She nodded, though she still looked on edge. “I’m nervous.”

“That makes two of us.” You said. “But we made it this far for a reason. We got this.”

“Can you ride there with me? I'm gonna need more pep-talk material for the drive there cause I still think I might puke.” Julie tucked her hair behind her ears.

“Of course, and don't worry, we’ll leave the windows open.” You joked, making everyone laugh.

The sound of a car horn cut through the air and Julie looked outside. "That's my dad. Are you ready, (Y/n)?"

You nodded. "Yeah, uh, give me a second. I'll meet you in the car."

As Julie disappeared behind the doors, you turned to the boys and sighed as you tried to soak up this moment. For all you knew, this could be the last little window of time you had alone with them before tonight.

Julie was a huge part of the band of course, but these were your boys. The ones who you started this all with, who had been by your side for everything.

From the look on all their faces, you could see that they were thinking the same thing.

Without saying a word, you launched yourself at Alex. He made a surprised noise but recovered quickly, throwing his arms around you and holding you tight.

"And I'm the emotional one?" He jokingly muttered in your ear and you pinched his side, making him jump back. "Rude."

As soon as your arms were open, Reggie stepped forward and hugged you so tightly that you were thankful to not need oxygen anymore because he was definitely crushing several vital organs.

You laughed and gave him one last squeeze before pulling away, locking eyes with Luke instantly.

Alex cleared his throat awkwardly and grabbed Reggie's shoulder, steering him over to Luke's songbook to 'check out the setlist again'.

"And then there were two." Luke joked.

You laughed and stepped into his waiting arms, making him laugh. You soaked up the feeling of comfort and familiarity for a minute before pulling away.

"This, uh, is for you," Luke said as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a folded piece of paper. You knitted your eyebrows together in confusion as he handed it over. "I wanted you to have it in case...well, you know. If tonight doesn't work."

"It will." You said, trying to ignore the fact that it very well could happen. "You're not getting rid of me that easily, Patterson."

"I wouldn't dream of it." He quipped back, his voice sounding softer and less teasing than you would've expected. You pulled back from him and because you didn't know if you would ever get another chance, you stood on your tiptoes and planted a kiss on his cheek.

You moved away too fast to see his reaction but the gesture made the other two boys smirk at you as you dashed out of the doors, making a beeline for the car pulling out of the driveway.

-

The back rooms of the Orpheum were a maze.

You had left for a few minutes to walk around the venue and clear your head, trying to wring out the last of your nerves.

By the time you found your way back, you expected to find the rest of the band rushing to get ready in the dressing room. But all you saw was Julie anxiously pacing as she had been earlier, a habit she seemed to have inherited from both you and Alex.

“You okay?”

She snapped her head up towards you and sighed. “Yeah, just a little worried. The guys aren’t here yet.”

You looked around the room and then at the clock, frowning. The show was in less than half an hour and that was already cutting it close. Part of you wanted to go check on them but Julie seemed to need you more at the moment.

“Okay, well, give them another ten minutes. I'm sure they'll be here. They wouldn’t miss this…again.”

You ran your palm across the front of your pocket, feeling Luke's note next to your parent’s photo, and hoped you were right.

But then more and more time passed until the stage manager came to escort Julie to the stage.

"Just a second!" She calls out and then turns to you. "(Y/n), something's wrong. They were getting those jolts pretty hard before we left. They must've run out of time."

You shut your eyes tight as the words sunk in. All you could bring yourself now was, ‘This isn't what was supposed to happen.’

The world fell out from under your feet and you had trouble even standing up straight as you imagined what must've happened to them. Your best friends, your brothers, your family was gone and there wasn't anything you could do about it.

The guy knocked again, this time a little harder and with a nervous tone. Julie chewed her lip as she looked between you and the door and you could almost see the cloud of grief settling over her.

As hard as it was, you tried your best to shove your feelings down and marched up to Julie. There would be time to fall apart later, but you knew that this what they would want you to do. "Let's go do this for them, okay?"

She took a deep, shaky breath before hesitantly nodding. You followed closely behind her as she walked out the door though the halls until she reached the stage. You waited beside Flynn in the wing as Julie settled behind her microphone and addressed the crowd.

There were scattered claps from around the venue and then she took a deep breath before singing the opening.

After the first few lines, you took your cue and materialized at the center of the stage. The crowd gasped and cheered the way they always did, but you kept your eyes shut tight and focused on the music.

Just as the song started picking up, you heard a familiar pop in the air and then the sound of drumming. You whirled around to see Alex mounted onto a drum set at the back of the stage, twirling his drumsticks around and smiling like he had never been gone at all.

Once you got over the initial shock, you wanted to cry with relief. They were okay, they were here. Alex winked at you goofily, and you ran towards Julie’s keyboard.

She had started bouncing on the balls of her feet, both of you finally getting into the song now that they were coming back. You followed suit, dancing around the base of the drum set as yours and Julie’s voices came together.

Then Reggie appeared on the other side of Julie and you ran to his side. You bumped his shoulder with yours and he grinned, moving to stand back to back.

The song was ramping up to the chorus when a staticky noise cut through the air, not loud enough for the crowd to hear but enough to make you all look over to the other end of the stage.

You could see Luke's form fading in and out, a look of anguish on his face, and the pit in your stomach opened up again. The crowd was on the edge of their seats as Alex's drumming paused and Luke finally materialized to sing the opening of the chorus.

You didn't even know you were moving until you suddenly found yourself across the stage next to Luke, unable to stop smiling as you sang.

Julie joined you, throwing her arms up in the air happily and jumping around. Reggie appeared by her side, flashing the crowd a winning smile.

Alex stood up and gripped his mic as he sang this solo. You looked back at him and flashed him a proud smile, then whooping loudly when Reggie sang his lines.

You all went down the line hitting your notes until the chorus kicked in again and your heart felt so full you almost couldn't stand it. This was what you were so close to achieving before you died, it was all you had wanted for years, and you knew that if you hadn't died, that night would've changed your life. But this night was something even more special. Because you were all here, all together.

Even if it was just for one last song.

Julie caught your attention and nodded towards the platform that spread out into the crowd. You followed her to the center and stood back to back as everyone cheered.

The guys joined in on either side of you, Alex grabbing one of your hands and Luke holding the other. You all bowed to the audience before taking your cue and vanishing, leaving only Julie on stage.

You landed in the wing, feeling a little lightheaded and overwhelmed from all the emotions you had experienced in the last five minutes. The elated smile fading from your face when all three boys poofed by your side only to fall to the floor instantly.

“It didn’t work.” You said miserably as Julie emerged into the backstage area. She grabbed Flynn and whispered something to her, pointing in the direction of her family. Flynn nodded and disappeared into the crowd while Julie ran to your side.

You hauled Alex onto his feet, letting him lean on you to stay upright while Luke and Reggie trailed behind Julie as she led the group back to the dressing room. Once everyone was inside, they collapsed on the couch or the floor, loudly groaning in pain.

“What happened? Why didn’t it work?” Julie asked tearfully.

“I guess playing here wasn’t our unfinished business.” Alex said hollowly.

“Point Caleb.” Reggie muttered as he clung to the side of an armchair.

You stood frozen next to Julie as panic spread through your whole body, both of you flinching in sympathy as the shocks continued.

“You have to save yourselves right now.” Julie begged. “Join Caleb’s club. It’s better than not existing at all!”

“She’s right.” You managed to say, your voice shaky and almost giving out. Your stomach flipped at the thought of them having to work for an evil club owner forever, but the alternative was worse. “You guys need to go now! For me. For us.”

“We’re not going back there.” Reggie shook his head.

Luke pulled himself up and stumbled forward a little so that he was right in front of you. “No music is worth making if we’re not all making it together.”

You sighed sadly, thinking back to your conversation yesterday. “So no more regrets?”

Luke let out a deep sigh and then reached up and cupped your cheek with his right hand. “Just one.”

You furrowed your eyebrows in response and Luke blinked hard as if he was trying to find the words. "I never told you why I left that night."

"Luke, don't." You gave him a weak smile. "I get it."

"You do?" He asked.

You struggled to get the words out. "Yeah, I mean it was bound to happen eventually. We just got too close and it was weird for you. I understand t-”

"What?" Luke asked, cutting you off with a confused look. "No, no, that's not it at all. Read the-"

Before he could finish, you heard Julie gasp loudly from a few feet away. You looked over to see her stepping back from Alex with an awestruck look on her face as she gripped his forearms.

Wait, what?

Before you could even begin to process what you were seeing, Reggie was reaching out to Julie, who grabbed his wrist and hauled him up to his feet. The three of them stared at each other for a few seconds before Julie turned to you and Luke.

“Guys, come here.”

Alex reached out and pulled you into his side while Luke threw an arm around Reggie’s back and Julie brought you all in closer to her. At first, nothing happened. But then there was a faint buzzing sound and the boys lifted their wrist towards the ceiling and you all watched in awe as the stamp floated away in the blink of an eye.

“Whoa.” Reggie said, his eyes still glued to the ceiling. “I don’t feel as weak anymore.”

“Yeah, me neither.” Alex agreed. “Not that I ever was that weak in the first place.”

You rolled your eyes and let your head fall over on his shoulder. “What do you think that means?”

Luke smiled. “I think it means the band is back.”

It was quiet for a second before Alex looked at you all shyly. “You guys think we can try that hug thing again?”

You laughed as you huddled together again, sniffling and laughing. Then Julie yelled out that you had played the Orpheum and then you were all jumping around, still tangled in each other’s arms.

Eventually, you all broke apart and while the boys started chasing each other around, you turned to Julie. She looked into your eyes and immediately flew into your arms, muttering into your shoulder, “I always wanted a big sister.”

The words warmed your heart and you squeezed her extra hard, grateful that you actually could now. “Well, I’m honored.”

“My family's probably looking for me so..." Julie stepped back from your arms with the biggest smile you’d ever seen on her face, you jokingly bowed to her and she copied the gesture before disappearing behind the door.

You wiped the last of your tears out of your eyes and turned around to find Alex and Reggie were talking in whispers and wearing knowing smiles. When Alex saw you looking, he cleared his throat and nudged Reggie’s shoulder.

“Hey, Reg.” Alex said cheekily, not taking his eyes off of you for even a second. “I was going to check out the next band. You wanna come with me?”

“Sure!” Reggie started strolling towards the door, stopping only for a second to nudge your shoulder and whisper ‘don't do anything I wouldn’t do’ in your ear.

Alex fixed Luke with a pointed look over his shoulder and Reggie gave him a dorky wink before they poofed away. You smiled fondly at the space where they were just standing and awkwardly turned towards Luke.

“Hi.” You said, laughing awkwardly.

“Hi.” Luke muttered back as he stepped forward until he was close enough to grab your hand. “About what I was saying earlier…”

You opened your mouth to say something but he shook his head and pointed to your pocket. “Read it. Please.”

You tugged the note he had given you earlier out of your pocket and carefully folded it open to see that it wasn’t a note at all. It was the love song that Julie had found that day in the garage, the one that he didn’t want anyone to see. You struggled a little trying to decipher Luke's handwriting. The ink was a little smudged and the song was clearly unfinished but it was the most beautiful thing you had ever read. And he had written it for you.

"I didn't leave because we got too close," He said. "It was the opposite, (Y/n), I left because I was scared to lose you, and I know that doesn't make sense because I kind of did w-"

You carefully tucked the paper back in your pocket with one hand and grabbed the back of his neck with the other, pulling him down and closing the last bit of space between you.

Luke's brain short-circuited for a second before he started kissing back, grabbing your waist with enough force to nearly knock you both backwards. It was dizzying and a little desperate, yet weirdly familiar, as if you'd been kissing him your whole life.

Most moments with Luke felt like they were happening in slow motion, but this time it was like a high-speed movie montage of your whole lives. The stolen crayons, the time capsule, the pre performance pep talks, the smell of cinnamon, the ferris wheel, his jacket, the movie nights and songwriting sessions. All of it had led up to this moment.

"I love you." Luke said immediately after you pulled away. "God, I love you so much. I'm such an idiot. I'm sorry."

“Hey, it’s okay.” You laughed, blinking another wave of tears out of your eyes. “I should’ve told you forever ago instead of skirting around it.”

“And what is it that you should’ve told me?” He said teasingly and you rolled your eyes. You had gotten so used to Luke being so shut down or nervous around you that you almost forgot how much of a little shit he could be.

“That I love you too.” You said, unable to stop smiling.

Luke leaned down and captured your lips in another kiss, this time threading his fingers through your hair as he cupped your cheeks in his hands. “I’m never gonna get tired of hearing that.”

You bit your lip to keep another laugh from bubbling up as you looked up at him, feeling completely overwhelmed in the best way possible. "So...what now?"

"I don't know." Luke admitted. "But I know one thing."

"What's that?"

"That no matter where we go, or what we do," He pushed a piece of hair behind your ear. "In life, in death... I'm yours. Always."

-

The End

-

In Life, In Death Taglist:

@ifilwtmfc @instabull @wanniiieeee @tenaciousperfectionunknown @charliegillespiewife @merceret @itismeasmolpotato @lilostif16 @dangerouslyclose @iainttakingshitfromnobody @givemebooksorgivemedeath @sunsetcurvedotmp3 @askgeoff @mayleenicole5676 @puppy11148 @vampire7595 @wackyworrieruniverse @reallysparklychaos @lovelydaydreams15 @rachmmb @musicismyescape27 @stackie4ever​ @spidermankenobi

(Strikethrough means I can’t tag you)

JATP Taglist:

@caitsymichelle13 @sunsetcurvej​

Let me know if you want to be added!

[that-myllesstrauss-guy]

Fandom: The Quarry

Characters: Laura Kearney, Max Brinly, Dylan Lenivy, Ryan Ezahler, Kaitlyn Ka, Abigail Blyg, Nick Furcillo, Jacob Custos, Emma Mountebank, Caleb Hackett, Travis Hackett and Original Characters

Relationships: Ryan Ezahler/Dylan Lenivy, Abigail Blyg/Nick Furcillo, Jacob Custos/Emma Mountebank, Laura Kearney/Max Brinly, Travis Hackett/Kaitlyn Ka and Caleb Hackett/Original female character

Warnings: violence, cursing, suicide thoughts, death of canon characters, gore, sexual content, explict sexual content, torture and humiliation.

Tags: Werewolf AU, everybody is infected, curse, pack dynamics, Travis is the alpha, new life, slow burn, character developing, every ship will get their time, some ships will change with the time, stranger to friends to lovers, Travis being Caleb stubborn and hot headed dad and new treats

Sinopse: The moment when the sun sets, the air gets cold, the cicadas are the symphony that prevails, the horizon turns to nowhere and the full moon spreads in the sky you understand that there is no world when night falls. If the eyes don't see the heart doesn't feel but the darkness never spoke so loudly since the beyond responded behind in its many layers of black. And inside the creature's eyes, two stars of magma were seen, fire of hate, blood of others and such a false truth was told through the Red Suns of the one whose name was unknown.

Red Sun

Chapther 1: Nigth of all Nigths

——————————————————————

Inicial note: Hello everybody, i decided post my werewolf au fic here on Tumblr, the first chapther is already available on the "Achivie for our own" but why not expand my limits. One remaider, none of this ships i ship myself, It's a experimental fic that i'm doing for fun, all of the ships will be treated fairly and with their times to shine but most of all It's a interaction fic, i wanted to make each one of them interact so here we are and here we go.

So was this the end? Everyone in the camp shared an idea of ​​silence in that instant, it was standard but with intimate consent. Unmotivated, tired, the night of a lifetime had just ended, but this is how it all starts. The flames of the fire from the bonfire began to cooldown, the dance ended, meeting the initial cold of the forest in the distance as its remnants flew away to finally disappear from history in that lake long before seen by man and long after being touched by the fable that condemned that midnight.

The only man in front of all those children took a step forward in the dying light that the fire was still trying to sustain, right in front of him he faced one of the young couples, boy and girl holding hands while they were glued to each other, the boy with the wild haircut was letting out a lifeless gaze, he resting his head on top of the beloved's head while she was only held one of his hands with her both smaller hands, they were sitting on that felled piece of log that was shared just for them because the others were sitting in other places in that "circle", and like everyone else there, nothing among them was said.

He sighed heavily that morning air, pure and natural, the frost from the mountains could be felt through the pitiful taste of blood in his mouth, the lungs found themselves filling and being emptied seconds later, he saw the sky for an instant, there were still stars above there, sickening was the sight now, he stared and saw stars rising inside his eyes, the glints of stress only worsened as the words came.

- Nothing has been done, not today, not yesterday and nothing forever now. Do any of you know who you're now? Nothing, below everything and beneath that even, we're now unknown.- The words came out with hatred, quietly cursing all over the ones that were there, kept everyone now in a deadly silence.- No man, no woman, no son of anyone, no daughter of anyone, we're on our own.

No one answered, no one had the courage to do so, however the young woman with blond hair, short stature and tied up in an old-fashioned dress shifted in her seat, administering the words that until now had only been in her mind in disbelief.

- I-I can't understand how, why…. You said that if we killed Sillas the curse would end, you said this!

- Yes I said, I said with all the propriety in the world, sure of nothing but that for over 6 years, only that I understood, only that I became good at understanding. Now I don't fucking understand nothing, black and white, what's the goddamn diffrence now? I don't know, and guess what, I never knew anything my whole life.

- What the hell Travis how, how this is possible, Ryan blew your fucking brother chest, Max went back, I WENT BACK TO NORMAL. Stop fucking lying to us and say what we have to do to end this fucking thing.

- Don't you fuck talk about father like that you bitch.- Caleb had been silent until that moment, just holding back the distaste of the moment until he heard what Laura threw at them, he was staring her down, eyes glowing red.

- Oh yeah, i almost forget about you, guess who hit the lucky stars and didn't end up eating dirt like your fucking family.

The boy walked to advance but was stopped by his uncle's outstretched arm, the boy looked at him, irritated and disgusted with his action until the moment he received a dangerous glare from the eldest.

- Don't you fucking dare lay other step, boy.- The whisper came as a warning and when he saw the wings of the kid being cut short and his eyes who were pure hatred went to genuine fear, the man put the arm down, slowly.

- Both of you stop this right now. For all of you, for each one of us…- He corrected himself, he stoped for a moment, thinking.- We all heard the hag, It's that right?

Everyone except Jacob nodded in agreement with what he said. The boy was a little farther away than everyone else, he was sitting on the ground next to the lake, cross-legged facing the sunrise in the most splendid way that nature could provide. Behind the mountains, dyeing the massive, grass-covered surfaces on its ancient shores, painting the nature of the plants with that new feeling. Colors never seen before, experiences never told until that moment. Between the lake even after all that, the amber and gold on the sides mingles with white and a superficial green by the new sunbeams, and all around the sweetly applied pink with tenderness wrapped around everything in an ever-increasing wave of heat, the sky never lived such magnificent times as the one that was reflected through the irises of the boy. The sound of the forest was unnerving, everything was heard, to a small left hitting the ground to the sound of the water move when a sudden breath of air came, he had all senses above his skin crawling like water over an egg shell, feeling the earth spin on the palm of his hands when he had his hand on the dirty ground.

- It's that right?- The older Hackett repeated himself louder when nothing came out of Jacob's mouth.

- Jacob.

A small whisper came from the one that was next to him, the voice of the asian girl friend of his reached his senses for a short period, he turned his head, slowly, just to see Kaitlyn's expression of care and concern. She saw his eyes, reddish and swollen from the memory of the last night. His mouth formed words but little came out of it, he stuttered for a moment, swallowed the bad bitterness that had formed in his mouth and only with a stutter and words broken one on top of the other he replied.

- yes.- Such a sound couldn't be replied ever again.

No one but Kaitlyn understood his answer, she turned her head to see the sheriff's pleading eyes and nodded a "yes" on behalf of her friend and the sheriff understood and that was the importance of the subject of the moment.

- Eliza Vorez, Sillas mother, she put a spell on us, a goddamn break-this-mirror-and-you-will-be-cursed-for-life type of bullshit that her and her pettines could do it. Blaming us, condemned us just for doing something that she should have done since the moment that monster was born.

- This is so fuck up.- Kaitlyn whispered, placing a hand across her neck and lowering her head through the act.

- How the fuck this is posible.- Ryan contemplated.- How the hell does she have this much power?

- Had.- The officer corrected.- She isn't out there anymore, like earlier she grow stronger, shouting louder, and when we ended the job everything was what it was, she wasn't out there anymore because he wasn't here anymore, but we were.- He caught a break for a last sign of sanity, but nothing came, that was it.

- We were the ones who shared the blood Vorez, she became each one of us. She is here right now, listening to our thoughts, letting our hearts throb with blood only for us to face what she suffered, what Silas suffered. Justice for the righteous.-He stopped the daydream.

Now the shy, dyed-haired girl shifted in her seat making the boy next to her look with concern and awe.

- Abi?- Nick said, worried.

- Have to be a way, Mr.Hackett! Something to do, we can- we can give our DNA for studies! They can figure something out and help us, to cure us!

- Are you hearing yourself Abigail?- Ryan shouted from his place, eyes in anger.- The fucking goverment will open us liks a bunch of fucking rats because that's how they're gonna treat us. This is not an option.

- Yeah Abi, and there's no way in hell that them would cure us, this is not some science bullshit that can go away with some medication like a cold, all of this came out from a fucking fairy tale, we are talking about the Little Red Riding Hood villian which is us for god sake.- For the first time Dylan talked out loud.

- This would be better then live in this fucking monster body! Suffering every full moon just to change to a nightmare, change to kill. I don't want this, I don't wanna be this thing, please Mr.Hackett we have to do something to cure ourselves.

Her begging hit the man's ears like the biggest tsunami ever witnessed. He didn't look either of them in the eye, just stared at the ground with no answers to give, defeated and tired.

- I'm sorry kids.

The young woman finally burst into tears, dropping her head gently on the boy's chest who with frankness and need wrapped her in his arms in a comforting hug, letting her shed silent tears that wet his white shirt, everyone had already assumed their duties, they were ashamed, silent in pure self-contemplation. Laura was tired of being silent, indecision and more indecision, everyone's need for an answer when there was nothing to be done, she knew it was difficult, until now she didn't know what had happened and she was far from consuming the truth, but now something had to be done.

- So that's it, that's fucking it? We have to lay down in the ground and die just because of this?- A laugh came out.- Y'all are fucking pathetic.

Travis stared at her, searching for answers he couldn't speak but was sure she had something in her mind, something they both shared but unlike him, she had the courage and the self-confidence to speak.

- If you wanna kill yourselves just for try to get away with what you are right now go ahead, try it, but make sure you're pretty much dead in the moment that I see my face or Max's among the wanted just for being what we are, assure this to yourself and for me more than anything that anyone who gets involved in this is are almost 7 light years underground, I'm not going to die just because none of you didn't want to assume anything and just ran away like a bunch of cowards, above that I prefer dignity.- She took a breath letting the sudden wave of adrenaline become something that only history could retold.

Everyone seemed to have understood her point, they were summoned to know the truth about her and that didn't bother the girl, she was being more than honest at that moment and gladly relieved she started again.

- I'll stick around, in North Kill I mean, at least until everything settles down and I can finally follow what I have to follow, my college, find a job around, and one day my mental health will finally be patch up, I don't know I'm counting on the lady luck in this point- She tried to let out a smile, nothing came.

- I would be next to others of my kin, It's far from my family, there are certainly plenty of places here to run and disappear among these woods so it's a positive point when the time comes.- Tired she said.- And that's it…. I don't really know what to do next, i-i don't really know what to do now but everything is better than giving up.- A silence came when realization came along, but for a short time.

- What do you want to do, sheriff?

The gap made him a little suspicious of the woman's intentions; he drew his eyebrows together in a uniform combination, trying to figure out what those golden eyes were trying to say. Giving up on trying, he straightens his posture, becomes rigid, shoulders firm and haughty in an attempt at confidence and rigidity, taking a deep breath and letting with a comment.

- I advise you all to follow Miss Kearney's deed. With one or two towns of difference from North Kill but always be around, and when the full moon come we all reunite to go to the guts of the Hacketts woods and disappear for all unlucky eye. The pack.- He cringed.- The pack will need interaction.

- Wait what?- Max was the one that talked. He hadn't thought of speaking for a long time but blurted out his genuine confusion.

- Caleb.

The older Hackett asked calmly for his nephew to come along, the boy who still stressed in the background avoided going forward, Travis kept that feeling of irritation at his nephew's disobedience just to only open his mouth just one more time, on alert.

- Come here.- He turned to the youngest who stared at him for a small time, the eldest wasn't asking, he was demanding.

With a breath of irritation, he pushed himself forward until he was in everyone's sight, swallowing hard and trying to keep control of his emotions he started.

- When Kaylee, I and… my dad were transformed we were imprisoned alone for a time, being social animals that's makes the wolf very anxious, self destructive and highly, highly dangerous, but when with companying, one or even two on It's side he become more malleable, calm and much more controllable, able to even lose interest in hunting when well fed and with company, anger decreases frankly. And when we went out, freedom brought some benefits to our mind, we remembered more of the events, we had a good time somehow and we sometimes would control what we could or could not do. And that was just with three wolves, imagine what could be done with ten.

That's what everyone was hoping to hear, Abigail was stopping crying after hearing every word the younger Hackett said. Travis moved to the front again and cleared the area with Caleb's last reaction of concern.

- But that's y'all choice. I'm asking you for everything and I need you to give me more than that: description, cold heart and caution have never been more necessary than now but it have to be done. I can try to guarantee more than safety, but I can't do it at the same time for everyone. And for thoses who can't live here at all, and I say zero conditions to do this, I hope that you'll be very, very vigilant and careful about your actions.

Some argued, some others already had the idea in mind and would not change in any way, the discussion was interrupted when Nick's voice finally crossed everyone's senses.

- My-my parents want to go back to Australia, I was accepted to Canberra university and…

- Come on Nick you can't be serious.- Abigail said out loud.

- I can't disappoint them, I did so much to be there, them did more, them did so much just to this-this damn thing, this isn't fair, not for them.- His voice was loaded with emotions, anger, sadness, hatred of the whole situation, his eyes started to watery only to let a lone tear fall.

- I promise Mr.Hackett i will behave myself, i'll not let no one know this if-if i do i…

- Are you gonna kill them?- The man's voice was cruel, and he stared at him, making the boy shift from his seat.

- You gonna make them regret to ever crossed an eye on your deformed monster body? It's that you're talking about Mr.Furcillo?

- You said- you said we could go as long as we could maintain the secret.

- You know damn well that this isn't gonna work, making the things worst from across seven fucking seas but you keep trying to convice me, so answer this question for me son: what you would do to keep them safe.

- Everything.- The answer came out quickly.

- Come on, you're not answering you're just talking, say this to yourself and make it louder, what you gonna do to keep them safe?

- everything.- This time the answer came out with another tear, being truthful.

- So you know exactly what to do.- His voice went darker letting the boy have his time.

The girl next to him hugged him tightly making his hurts fall to the ground, he reciprocated with affection. The cop wasn't proud of himself but it was meant to be that way, he sighed deeply and started again.

- Any other questions?

Laura with conviction answered a "no" with her head, the others still looked with doubt in their eyes but they were sure they wouldn't answer for now, caution was the ideal feeling but there was fear there too.

- Good. Go back to the camp, It's almost 7 a.m. Change your clothes, burn them if needed and when hit 9 a.m i will come back with the entire weight of the town on this place, better make your best histories, i'll try to cover the rest.

- Mr.Lenivy.- He call out Dylan who let his ears rise in the air when he heard his name.- How's your head doing?

The young man no had idea but he no longer noticed the feeling of discomfort and the phantom pain, he undid the dying bandage and saw how the hand was and unexpectedly enough it was tiny.

- Fuck this is so mental.- He let out a smile as he moved his baby hand in the air, he tried to touch Ryan's face but when the other boy saw it at the same time he ran from it.

- Let me touch your soul.- He deepened his.

- Fuck off with this, man.- He was disguested.

- Can I see?

Kaitlyn said, excited by the importunity. In the same time he turn his whole body to her and hold his tiny hand arm in an extremely dramatic performance with the little hand trying to catch her.

- Oh no he is trying to escape, run Kaitlyn, he taking over ahhh.

- Jesus this is so freakin weird.- She tried to touch it but regret this thought in the same time.

- I don't think so, I think this make my charm glow brighter.- He ran an open hand across his face, matching it with that other much larger member. He made a vain face, twirling a small curl with those little fingers.

- Yeah if the thoses who were next were blind. Look at this shit.- That was fascinating to her.- Looks like thoses little sour gummy worms that sell everywhere.

- You wounded me miss Ka.- Dramatically he puts that hand on his chest.- How dare you talk to junior like this.

- Don't put names on this thing, will probably grow with conscience and call you mommy everywhere.

- A mommy needs a daddy.- Once again he turned to the boy next to him.- Ryaaaan~

- Dude, no!- He was trying to hold back his laughter.

The three friends smiled genuinely from the joke, taking everything that was going on aside for a moment and everyone in that place silently enjoyed the moment. Kaitlyn was the first to come to her senses letting that loving smile die. For instance, she took the bandage back to the boy's hand and carefully asked.

- Better cover this thing up, no one needs to see your hand passing for It's ABC fase again.- A simpact smile came outta her.

- Yeah i know.- He patch that thing up reappearing as the same as before, without a hand but hiding something much stranger.- And i have to be away from the public eye until my hand came back to normal, isn't it Mr.Hackett?- The boy shouted from his place trying to get his attention.

- You already know.- A brief answer came as always, returning to discuss something with the boy that was next to him.

- Right. See, even Mr.H 2.0 knows I was born with description.

- Don't say that.- Ryan said.- Travis is not like Mr.H… Chris.- His voice went heavier with emotion.

- Yeah I saw that, man is without a doubt the most scary person that I have ever seen in my life, Nick is crying until now.

- Poor little guy.- The tallest boy spoke with empathy.- I don't think I could do the same sacrifice.

- Me neither.- Distant Ryan spoke.

- What do you mean?

- I-I think i will not come back here. So much memories.- He look away to stare the place on a whole.- Is like watching your whole damn life in the nigthmare google, just waiting to end in the same place that everything went to hell, i can't do it.- Behind tears he said.

- Do what you need to do, i don't have the wise words in the back of my head but Ryan just listen.-Dylan said.- If there's someone that can do anything in this world and menage to somehow make that thing work it's you, hell you passed a nigth hunting literally fucking werewolves just to make everything turn out all rigth.

- But nothing happen, we are still like this, we are fucking monsters. Everything that we did was for nothing, Chris died for nothing, Kaylee.- He droped in tears, the pressure on his lungs didn't let the words out.

The young Hackett watched everything, he slowly looked at his uncle who also looked at the situation stoically. The young man eyed the older man's permission to go there, Travis solemnly just nodded and that was more than enough. Caleb took one foot in front of the other until he stopped in front of his old friend who was crying in grief, he crouched down to reach the same level as the boy.

- Thanks for saving me.

The words came out in a sweet way, it made Ryan look up to see the empathy in Caleb's eyes and in a single act the young Hackett hugged his friend tenderly who replied with much more force. Both of them lived only one moment in their lives that changed everything for both of them, but only now could they overcome all this together now.

After a while the hug broke apart, Caleb let out a friendly smile that made Ryan calm down even more, the redhead got up bringing his friend up with him, letting his attention to the other eyes distinct in emotion of the others counselors, he silently thanked his true saviors away from Ryan's notice.

- We have to go, the others are waiting in the cabin.-He said, pushing the friend forward, the other two were already standing up.

- You think that I'm being a selfish asshole now.

- Never crossed my mind.- That brought a smile on Dylan's face.

- I'm being for real Caleb.

- I know and I believe you, for my part you could go anywhere and maintain all of this for life but my uncle, he-he doesn't have the same trust as I do and he is the one that you should worry about.

- Why should I worry about him?

- I thought you already knew.

He reviewed in his mind all the facts he knew about the older Hackett and realized what his friend meant.

- You're right, but you can't talk to him? He might get conficend by you better than i could

Caleb let out a dry laugh, denying what he'd just heard.

- There's no time for jokes right now, mister.

- Come on man.

- I can't help with this bud, he turn out deaf to anything that I say since…

Ryan understood his pause, with a clear throat Caleb came back to reality bringing all attention to what he had to say, nothing was but he saw understanding in his friend's eyes, that's was appreciated by the boy, he recomposes and says.

- So i mean, you have to try out. He is certainly tough, hot headed and probably won't listen to you at all but a chance is a chance.

- Thanks for the support Caleb.- Annoyed said.

- You welcome.

They both smiled and walked towards the camp. They didn't see anyone at the front door other than Travis rummaging through some things in the trunk of the police car. With a supportive look Caleb leaves his friend to his own fate, climbing the stairs and disappearing behind the establishment's entrance. Dylan was the next to move forward, he lifted his ex severed hand and flashed a smile.

- You can do this Tiger!

An annoyed sigh was the last thing Dylan heard after he ran to the entrance and met the others inside. Kaitlyn just went ahead and sat on the step with a weary sigh from her lips, Ryan was unsure why she was here but soon her voice cut through the air.

- You're not the only one that has business to explain to Sheriff Hackett.

- I thought that much. Can i ask what is?

- Well i could say it but it ruin the mystery.

- Suit yourself.

He ended there going to Travis location. The man was organizing the things behind the car, some dents left by Silas were being quickly corrected by the hands of the man who through the dry taps of a hammer were being corrected the way they gave. The delay of Ryan's speak made the man heave a weak sigh and dropped the object into the car.

- This a free state Ryan, don't mind what odds can came after.

And like a slap to reality Ryan wake up after hear the man voice, he was standing tall, he was taller then him that's for certain. The boy clenches his jaw trying to form the correct sentences in his mind until he hears another comment coming from the man.

- You mind?

He saw the cigarette box in one of the man's hands, the boy was surprised but shrugged, wondering why such an action.

- Go crazy.

And so it was done, the cigarette was introduced to the lips and from there it stuck, then the lighter met the tip and in only two attempts to ascend, the fire joined the two for a sufficient period, it made a small house with another free hand for the fire to have more effect in a matter of a second the pack was ready. The first drag was heavy, enough to cover the lungs from top to bottom with the heat of the smoke. When it was all inhaled in a single puff of air a smokescreen formed out of his mouth, letting the remnants of the wind dance with it, taking away all the tension from his muscles. The boy still wasn't confident enough to say anything to the man, Travis knew that. The eldest took the small box to the sight of the young man who had traditionally called his attention.

- I stopped eight months ago.- He declined casually.

- And I ten years ago.- He didn't sound like he was insisting but just pointing out a fact they both knew what they were.

Ryan understood perfectly the message that the sheriff was giving to him. He still held his hand up with that object, tempted him with that malice where only that could give. He knew everything that it would cause, everything was already written in the book that he made himself never to touch that destructive dependence again, but by all the circumstances, from today until maybe the day of his death there was nothing but perspectives, he deserved a victory, at least a small one, and in fact he already had something worse inside him. He took a cigarette and put it in his mouth without much delay, the man put the box in his uniform pocket and took the lighter to the boy who accepted the fire with pleasure. A drag, in and out at the same moment, the young man let out a cough to get out after inhaling too much.

- Outta of practice.- He said, trying to let out a smile.

The man next to him didn't react in an apparent way, he just let the tiredness wash over his face.

- What's your deal here?

- I just wanted to say that I will not come back. i have a scholarship that was not easy to get, my parents are very involved with my life and my sister's life so they would know where i went and why at the worst of times and-

- Why do you even border on creating a whole lie after I saw you cry over my family member's body? One of them you made sure to make his rest being forever, do you remember?- He was staring at the boy with his casual tone.

The boy was intimidated once more, he slumb down his shoulder and stared at the ground in an act of shame. Travis slowly threw the rest of the cigarette on the floor and faced where that was going to end up.

- It was Chris's mistake, you know. My brother wasn't the most bright human being in the world and clearly was the most stubborn that followed the same bad path: he was the man in the wrong place, between the wrong people in the worst time, that's the summary of how everything went to hell.- He gave it a pause.

- I never found a way to convince him otherwise, never seemed to work, he was always so certain of everything and I always doubted him for every single thing that he was doing, talking or when thinking, I never trusted, never once in my life since 6 years ago and he talked and thought a lot about you Ryan.

The boy shrugged even more, unable to answer the older one, Travis spoke everything calmly and patiently about what it took for him to listen for now.

- Why should I trust you?

- I'm not asking to you to trust, I'm just informing you what I'm going to do because i'm not going back to this fucking hell anymore.

He threw the cigarette on the ground and walked away from him as fast as he could, despairing for his view when he entered the cabin and with one loud slam on the door he was out of sight.

- He's gonna do so much shit.- Predicted the man.

- Yeap.- Kaitlyn said from her place catching Travis attention.

- Something to do about it?

- He just learns after the worst happens to him. Go figure.

He let out an graceless smile, asking all sorts of entities for him not to have a headache that was unfortunately already forming.

[aeruthien]

Yeza had caught glimpses of the Shadowhand before. He had come to Yeza's cell more than once, speaking in hushed tones to the guards, his intimidating presence sending a new rush of fear through Yeza's tired limbs.

So it is weird sight to see him curled up against Caleb on the couch, his knees drawn up, wearing comfortable evening pants and a shirt that may be Caleb's. Caleb attention is on Veth, though, who is pressed against Caleb's other side, the two of them chattering excitedly about their newest experiment.

Yeza places the drinks he had been getting in front of them and hesitates. The couch is large enough to accommodate two halflings, a human and a drow, but with his companions curled up as they are, the only empty spot is next to Essek. While sharing magic and alchemy were easy, when the excitement of discovery went down, the uncertainty set in.

"Come."

Essek's voice breaks through his mounting panic. The drow has raised his arm, indicating the empty spot. Veth is nervously playing with Caleb's shirt, watching the exchange like a hawk. A few months back, she had confessed to Yeza deep in the night that she would really love for Caleb to come live with them, because Rexxentrum is not good for him, and he can teleport there any way, but no lines would be crossed,please don't worry, and you know what, forget about it, it is fine, she just missed him sometimes that is all, and Caleb can teleport so it doesn't matter, and-

He had silenced her with a kiss on her nose, and had agreed to try. He couldn't have predicted this.

Shaking himself, Yeza settles next to Essek. He can feel the warmth seeping through his trousers were their legs touch. His heart is hammering. Back in Felderwin, people didn't do this. He was far away from his old life, though. He still isn't sure if that is a good thing.

"To another step in our advancement of knowledge."

Caleb holds out his drink for a toast, and Yeza gratefully accepts his when Essek hands him the glass.

"To destruction, and black hole fluffernutters," Veth adds with a grin.

"To discovery, both intellectual and of the self," Essek says softly.

"To family."

Yeza's ears and face burn red as soon as he says the words. There is a moment of silence, before Caleb raises his glass again.

"Ja. To family."

Veth and Essek echo him, and they all drink, settling deeper into the cushions.

Soon they are talking again, about their experiments, and about Jester and Fjord who are due to arrive in the harbor soon, and about Beau and Yasha, who are thinking of adopting a child.

Yeza listens, mostly, but during one of Veth's and Caleb's more vicious debates, about the merit of using the dunamancy fluffernutter on some kind of large baby creature, he catches the gaze of the intimidating Shadowhand, his expression soft as he observes the other two.

"No time magic can predict this, huh?" Yeza whispers.

Essek smiles.

"It cannot. But all the more reason to appreciate it, no?"

"Yeah."

Yeza relaxes against him, and Essek's arm curls around his shoulder. Maybe, in time, they will figure out exactly what is going on. But until then, Yeza is content to let it unfold. Because he is sure of one thing. Between the four of them? There is no mystery they can't uncover.

[adhd-disaster-willie]

you're the one that brings the sun; chapter 1/6

Summary: Alex is prepared for every single variable except, apparently, the one in which his roommate is drop dead gorgeous and Alex is an absolute clusterfuck of a human being who falls for the first pretty boy on he sees on campus.

Willex roommate au! 

Warnings: Swearing

Notes: The title is from the song “I Dare You” by the Regrettes. I’ve actually planned this fic out so here’s to hoping I don’t get burned out halfway through. It might end up having 6 or 7 chapters, 5 is kind of just an estimate.

---

When Alex was 11, his mother proudly plastered his report card to the fridge and exclaimed that one day, her little boy would go to Harvard. His father gripped his shoulder with pride and Alex beamed up at his parents like they’d just told him he had superpowers. 3 years later, he was 14 and teetering on the edge of failure in the majority of his classes. He wasn’t stupid by any means, just preoccupied. He’d started a band with his best friends and that felt like the most important thing in the whole world, and high school was new and scary, so it was easier to not pour all his focus into school. His parents’ smiles faltered but they kept up hope, Alex could tell. 2 years later, he stood shaking and crying outside of the Molina’s garage and suddenly, the concept of going to college begun to feel distant and fake. But he’s 18 now, and somehow, miraculously, gazing at the piles of boxes in the back of Ray’s car and swallowing down a lump in his throat.

It sure isn’t Harvard, but a part of Alex feels giddy at the fact that he’s attending a public college that was relatively easy to get into; oh his parents would be rolling in their proverbial graves. What didn’t make him quite so happy though, was the looming fact that he’d be living with some random person, because for some godforsaken reason, the college wouldn’t allow freshmen to choose their roomates. Some bullshit about meeting new people and socializing.

“Hey, ‘Lex. Dude, you’ll be fine.” Luke shakes his shoulders, before swinging one arm around him and the other around Reggie.

“Says the one who isn’t even going to college,” Alex grumbles, slipping from Luke’s grip and into the front seat of the car.

“Yea cause I don’t need it. Not my fault you’re both nerds,” Luke retorts.

“I’m not a nerd, I just like to have insurance-”

“Yea, back-up plan, safety net, heard it a million times. Reggie’s a nerd though.”

“Old news, dude,” Alex says.

“I am not a nerd!” Reggie protests indignantly.

“Tell that to your 2 years of college credit in math.”

Luke nods in agreement. “Nerd.”

“Math is fun!”

“You’re horrible.” Alex makes a mock gagging noise.

Julie comes bounding out of the house, her arms decked with various baked goods. She tosses herself in the backseat beside Reggie and Luke, looking quite pleased with herself at being able to force Luke to sit in the middle. “Tía was apparently up all night baking,” she explains, passing the sweets up to Alex. “Don’t be surprised if she shows up at your dorm with food every day.”

Alex snorts. “I would not object to that.”

Julie sighs, leaning back in her seat. “You guys are so lucky, I’m tired of high school. Damn September birthday,” Julie grumbles. Her birthday is just after the cut off date, so she would be 18 for the majority of senior year, but is just barely too young to be in the same grade as the boys.

Reggie leans over and pats her arm sympathetically, earning an offended squeak from Luke, who’s only pushed further into the back of the seat.

“Don’t worry!” Alex chirps sarcastically. “You get to spend more time with Luke, since he’ll be squatting in your garage!”

“Oh, joy,” Julie deadpans.

“I am not a squatter!” Luke protests, kicking the back of Alex’s seat.

“No kicking! I’m holding food!”

“Y’know Alex, you’ve been staying in the studio for 2 years, you’re not one to talk!” Luke argues.

“I have a job.”

“A stupid job.”

“A stupid job that gets you free coffee.”

Reggie nodds to that, chewing on a cookie. “Can’t risk losing your coffee privileges.”

Julie groans loudly and stuck her head out the window. “DAAAAD! Let’s goooo!” She cries.

“Wow, I didn’t know you wanted to get rid of me so badly,” Alex says, clutching his chest dramatically.

“Oh shut up Lexi, I just wanna meet your’s and Reggie’s new best friends!” Julie says, laughing.

“I’m not gonna be best friends with my roommate.”

“Yea, Alex forgot how to do that!”

“Luke I will smother you in your sleep!”

At this, Ray approaches the car with a raised eyebrow. “No one’s planning a murder, I hope?” He asks, chuckling as he slides into the drivers seat.

“No sir!” Reggie replies, grinning.

“Not yet,” Alex mumbles under his breath.

“Alright boys, who’s ready for college!” Ray says, starting the car.

“I’m gonna be sick.”

---

“And that’s the last of it!” Ray claps a hand over Alex’s shoulder and smiles encouragingly.

Alex nods tensely, gripping the strap of his fannypack tighter.

The dorm’s probably as good as he’s gonna get. One reasonably sized bedroom complete with two horribly uncomfortable beds, a kitchen with a fridge that was in no way large enough to fit even a weeks worth of meals, a tiny living room that would probably fit a couch and a TV at the most, and a bathroom that smelled suspiciously of mustard. Really it isn’t terrible, but Alex has a habit of noticing every little detail, especially the ones that could be a problem at some point. His roommate hasn’t arrived yet, so he’s standing amongst his various boxes, anxiety pulsing in his chest.

Julie grips his hand tightly and smiles, tears pricking the edges of her eyes. “Hey, Alex, you’re gonna be okay.” She squeezes his hand briefly.

Alex nods, exhaling shakily. “Yea, yea I know. It’s just…”

“A change, I know. But this is a good change. And-” she hauls Reggie and Luke over to them. “-we’re all here if you need to call someone and talk. And dad, and Tía, and I bet your roommate will be super cool.”

“Or a serial killer.”

“Just pray he’s not a football player,” Reggie stage-whispers, shuddering.

“God, don’t even suggest that!” Alex whines.

Encouragements and teary hugs are passed along, as well as a promise to meet at the Olive Garden nearby for dinner in a few hours, and then Alex’s posse is off to get Reggie settled, and Alex is left alone in the dorm. Alright.

Alex takes a deep breath, steeling himself, before beginning to wander the dorm. He’s anxious to start unpacking without his roommate and risk doing something that they wouldn’t like. Even choosing a bed feels wrong, he really doesn’t want to get off on the wrong foot with this person. But leaving the dorm meant people everywhere so that was a definite no. He sighs, lowering himself to the wooden floor and pulling out his phone.

“Yea… uh huh. Yes Caleb, I got here fine. No the Uber driver did not try and kidnap me. The boxes- the boxes are not too heavy. Okay. Okay. Yea, bye. Mhm.”

Alex looks up hesitantly upon hearing the voice nearing his dorm. The person standing in the doorway is well… less of a person and more of a large stack of boxes threatening to fall over any second. “Hello?” Alex stands up and makes his way to the boy stood in the entrance.

Said boy pokes his head out from behind his boxes and grins crookedly. “Hi, uh, I’m Willie!” And well, Alex is a goner. He swallows thickly, breath catching in the back of his throat. Willie attempts to adjust the boxes but ultimately fails, sending them tumbling to the ground amongst several muttered curses. “Well… nothing fragile in there,” he falters slightly. “I think.”

“Um…”

“Right! Sorry, uh.” Willie holds his hand out and Alex shakes it tentatively.

“Alex.”

“Alex, cool.” Willie smiles again, his dark eyes twinkling as he does so, smile lines popping out. He brushes his hair -which looks so soft and pretty- behind his ear to reveal a small golden hoop on his right lobe. Alex is dead, actually 100% dead. Because he’d been prepared for every single variable except, apparently, the one in which his roommate is drop dead gorgeous and Alex is an absolute clusterfuck of a human being who falls for the first pretty boy on he sees on campus.

Alex forces out a smile, all too aware that he’s still standing stiff and awkward in front of Willie, his grip on his fannypack tight enough to make his knuckles glow white. Then Willie coughs as some sort of attempt to fill the silence. “Sorry!” Alex squeaks. “Do you need help with the… the uh, boxes?”

“Oh yea, that’d be great!” Willie replies, beaming. “I don’t think there’s anything fragile in there, but y’know, my memory is absolute shit so if I broke some fancy china dishes I didn’t even know I owned, don’t be too shocked.”

Alex laughs anxiously. “Yea uh… I didn’t start unpacking cause I um… I didn’t want to claim a bed and stuff with-without your input?” His voice cracks at the end and he winces because Jesus fucking christ Alex.

Willie chuckles and Alex notes that he has the kind of laugh that echoes through your whole body and settles right in your heart. “ ‘S cool, man, I don’t mind.”

“Right, cool. Do you uh… are you okay if I take the bed farthest from the window? I’m not- not much of a morning person, and the window is… it’s east facing” Alex mutters, his gaze focused on his feet which are rocking back and forth at a rapid pace.

“Yea, of course,” Willie replies. “I don’t think I’ve woken up later than 8 in 5 years.”

“That’s horrific!” Alex cries, momentarily forgetting his anxiety. He steps back and blushes an even deeper red upon realizing how stupid he’s being. “I mean- I just… sorry, I just meant that-”

“You’re good, dude. I don’t bite.”

Alex cracks a tentative smile. “So uh… I’ll just start unpacking then.”

Willie shoots him a thumbs up and smiles once again, which is a thing he apparently does a lot.

An hour later, Alex’s belongings are unpacked and organized and the room feels a bit more his. He feels slightly lighter, exhaling and closing his eyes briefly. This isn’t so bad. Fiddling with the hem of his hoodie, he shuffles out into the living room where Willie is presumably unpacking. Except that he’s not.

Willie is laying upside down on a couch that somehow appeared while Alex was gone and he’s flipping through a tattered magazine while his belongings remain mostly unpacked.

“This quiz says that I should try roller skating,” Willie sniffs. “Some personality test this is- oh hey Alex!” He scrambles up so that he can look Alex in the eyes properly, and points to the magazine in his hand. “Found this in a box, not sure how it got there since I’ve never even subscribed to one of these, but there’s a chocolate chip cookie recipe in here.” He stops for a moment, pondering. “Personally I prefer peanut butter cookies, ooh especially fresh out of the oven. There’s this bakery near my house that-”

“Did you get… any unpacking done?” Alex asks, raising an eyebrow.

Willie looks around at his boxes and laughs sheepishly. “Well I unpacked one and opened 3 so… some, yes.”

“Where’d the couch come from?” Alex pokes the cushion warily, as if afraid that it’s full of bugs.

“Room across the hall,” Willie says, pointing. “They both brought couches and didn’t have room for two we got the one with more stains.”

“Right.” Alex’s reply is forced and tense, and he winces upon realizing. Truthfully, he hadn’t expected his roommate to become so comfortable so fast and he felt like he was several steps behind. Damn extroverts. Drumming his hands against his thighs, Alex slowly sits down on the other side of the couch, pointedly looking ahead instead of at Willie.

“So.” Willie scoots closer, sitting cross legged with his elbows on his thighs and chin resting in his palms. “What’s your major?”

Small talk, god Alex hates small talk. “Um, music,” he answers.

“Ah, that’s cool dude.” Willie nods.

“Uh, what about you?” Alex asks.

“Art,” Willie replies, grinning. “Be prepared for paint stains, like, everywhere.” He chuckles and nudges Alex’s shoulder playfully. Alex is going to implode, he’s sure of it.

Alex laughs awkwardly. “So uh… what’s wrong with rollerskating?”

Willie shoves his shoulder again. “Everything, dude! Well-” he cuts himself off, thinking. “-I just kinda suck at it, definitely better at my skateboard.” He jerks his head in the direction of a skateboard leaned against the wall and Alex wonders how he didn’t notice that.

“Oh, that’s- that’s cool. I rollerblade but I uh, I can’t skateboard to save my life.”

Somehow, they slip into a comfortable rhythm, and Alex notes that his anxiety no longer has him in a chokehold. Willie seems to have that affect; he’s just so… open. Alex doesn’t realize it yet, but he’s subconsciously created a folder in the back of his mind labelled “Willie,” and he doesn’t think he’s capable of forgetting anything Willie will ever say to him.

“- that’s why airplane food is just, horrible. Cause you basically lose like 30% of your tastebuds because of the elevation.” Willie smiles at Alex, gaging his response.

Alex would rather die than admit that he’s still trying to figure out how the topic of airplane food came up, so he just nods enthusiastically, actively stopping his eyes from dancing across Willie’s face, which is practically glowing in the evening sun. Evening. Shit. Alex pulls out his phone frantically. “Shit.” He says it out loud this time.

Willie’s brow furrows in confusion. “You good, dude?”

“Uh yea I’m just, I’m supposed to be meeting my fam- uh my friends for dinner and I have to be there in like 5 minutes.” He ignores the way Willie’s expression falls, convinced he’s just seeing things.

“Yea um, of course. I won’t keep you.” Willie stands up, his posture the stiffest that Alex has seen it in the whole 3 hours they’ve been acquainted for. “I’ll just… order a pizza.”

Alex hesitates in the doorway, weighing his options, which has never been his strong suit. “Do you want to join me?” He blurts impulsively. Willie looks at him in surprise. “I mean only- only if you want of course, we’ve only really uh, known each other for a few hours and you- you probably don’t want to, it was stupid. I’ll just- I’ll just go-”

“No! I’d… I’d like to, eating pizza alone in the dark sounds a little pathetic,” Willie responds.

Alex smiles genuinely. “Ok, ok that’s uh. Cool. That’s cool.”

---

Alex is already regretting this. The restaurant isn’t too crowded, he notices with a relieved breath. But it’s loud. It’s loud and yet only one group of people is talking. Alex doesn’t even need to guess who.

“Ok but- no- no- the whole song would be better!”

“Say banjo one more time, I dare you!”

“Banjo.”

“Julie, what the hell?! This is betrayal!”

“You stole my breadstick, it’s only fair.”

Alex coughs, quieting the table to a dull roar.

“Alex!” Julie pulls him down to sit next to her. “Oh? Who’s this?” Reggie is grinning wickedly and Luke waggles his eyebrows in a way that makes Alex want to shave them off.

“This is uh, my roommate Willie,” Alex responds, his voice raising an octave. “He didn’t have plans so I uh… I invited him, I hope that’s ok.”

“Of course it’s ok!” Julie pats the space on the other side of Alex and Willie sits down, appearing… oddly nervous.

“Congrats! Your Alex’s first new friend since,” Luke taps his chin, pretending to think. “7th grade.”

Alex’s face promptly falls into his hands. He’s seriously considering the whole, shaving Luke’s eyebrows in his sleep thing.

Reggie leans forward conspiratorially. “What’s your opinion on banjos?” He asks, making a point to ignore Luke’s dramatic complaining.

Willie raises his eyebrows, clearly confused. “Um. No comment?”

“I’m… sorry about them,” Alex says apolegetically. “Uh, this is Luke, Reggie, and Julie-” he gestures to each of them; Reggie waves, beaming happily. “-and Julie’s dad should be…” He trails off, looking around.

“He had to take a phone call, something about Carlos refusing to eat dinner until he proves the house is haunted,” Julie explains, clearly biting back a laugh.

“I… okay.” Alex shakes his head. “Are we waiting for more food or did Reggie eat it all?”

“Ha ha,” Reggie punctuates his statement by sticking out his tongue. “We’re waiting for the actual meals-”

“Yea Luke already ate the entire bread basket.” Julie shoots a glare in Luke’s direction.

“Well… you suggested we get hotdogs,” Luke grumbles, crossing his arms over his chest. “Payback.”

“Okay,” Julie laughs.

Willie leans over to whisper loudly to Alex, “What’s the story with the hotdogs?”

“Don’t tell him!” Luke cries, leaning across the table and slamming his palms down.

“We don’t talk of the hot-dogs,” Reggie mutters miserably.

“Food poisoning.” Alex shudders slightly. “Very bad food poisoning.”

“We almost died,” Reggie says, eyes widening. “Like, for real death. I’m pretty sure I was a ghost for a few seconds.”

“Reg, you were not a ghost,” Alex says, speaking like Reggie’s a 10 year old talking about monsters under his bed.

“I was!”

“You were not!”

“So,” Luke smiles mischievously, taking Reggie and Alex’s bickering as an opportunity to apparently torture the latter. Despite Alex’s warning glares, he turns to Willie with an innocent expression. “What kind of music do you like?”

“Luke,” Alex hisses, all too familiar with Luke’s antics.

“Hmmm.” Willie is painfully oblivious to Alex’s panicked expression as he mulls over his answer. “A lot of stuff really.” He shrugs. “Rock, pop, I like those lo-fi playlists when I’m trying to study.”

Luke nods, clearly pleased with the answer, but he isn’t done and Alex wants to hide under the table. He knows what’s coming next. “Thoughts on… drummers?”

“Luke.” Alex is seconds from lunging across the table.

“Drummers?” Willie asks, tilting his head confusedly.

“Yup,” Luke says, popping the p and still smiling like he’s some sort of innocent puppy-dog and not an absolute bastard.

“Hot,” Willie jokes. Alex can’t even hide the way he manages to choke on his own spit, and Luke and Reggie have never been great at subtlety, turning to Alex with matching shit-eating grins. Willie either doesn’t notice or is kind enough not to comment on it. “Yea, pretty sure young Roger Taylor was my gay awakening.”

Reggie is full on giggling now, and Alex’s entire face is gleaming a bright red. Willie glances around the table, puzzled.

“Mhm.” Luke nods before swiftly turning to Alex. “Hey Alex, by the way, you left your drumsticks in the car, do you need them back?” His voice is sickeningly sweet, coated in some sort of poisoned honey. It’s Willie’s turn to choke on nothing, failing to disguise it as a spontaneous coughing fit.

“Fine,” Alex squeaks as he sinks further down in his seat. If he pulls out his phone and messages Luke a flurry of threats, that’s no one’s business. He dares a glance at Willie, who has become quite fascinated with his hands, which are tapping out a mindless rhythm on the table, his cheeks and the tips of his ears dusted red.

Needless to say, Alex makes sure Luke doesn’t even get to look at the next bread basket.

---

I hope you liked it! Tell me if you want to be added to the taglist :)

I’m hoping to update at least once a week, but who knows. Ok thats all.

chapter 2

Chapter 3

chapter 4

chapter 5

chapter 6

[blazingstar24]

Summary: Essek realized how deep his affection for Caleb runs after getting a glimpse of the fates that could have been.

******************************************************

Essek cared about the Mighty Nein. He had taken a while to come to terms with that fact. It had been a long time since he had opened himself up to another being, let alone seven. He had been so resolute in his selfishness. His self serving goals. Yet, somehow this group of unpolished, broken adventurers managed to sink their claws into his frozen heart.

The thing about breaking ice is that it shatters, leaving shards of frozen residue behind. When the Mighty Nein discovered his deception, when they chose to offer him redemption instead of death, Essek had felt the breaking of the ice he had created around himself. The shards of shame and guilt lodging themselves into his heart and melting into his veins.

They hadn’t changed him through violence, not for political gain, not for power. But through kindness. Friendship. And dare he say it, love. That was something he couldn’t have prepared for. And maybe he was on his way to being better for it.

So, yes Essek cared about the Mighty Nein.

But as he watched helpless as, Lucian turn Caleb into a monstrosity of a human, something inside him broke. He could not bear the burden of freeing Caleb from the twisted fate forced upon him. But he could destroy the one who did it to him. He didn’t have the ties to this tiefling like the others. He had no qualms about erasing this false god from the face of Exandria and every other plane of existence. Crushing a piece of onyx in his hand, letting the blood drip onto the stone, Essek growls with rage as a dark sphere swallows Lucian whole. He refuses to turn around, desperately trying to block out the sounds of the Mighty Nein fighting their friend.

He instead pulls to mind the image of Caleb, eyes bright with curiosity as he explained the workings of a dunamantic spell.

Caleb’s laugh, soft and light as Veth teased Fjord about his accidental balding.

Caleb’s smile from across the table as they enjoyed the meal Jester had lovingly prepped for them.

The feel of Caleb’s lips against his head on one of the worst days of his life, giving him a lifeline out the sea of lies and madness he was drowning himself in.

He wouldn’t be able to feel that on his lips anymore

The firebolt dancing on Essek’s fingertips pales in comparison to Caleb’s, but he fires it all the same into the sphere. He knows Lucian will dispel his magic soon enough, but not before he knows true pain. Not before Essek can make him understand what it’s like to have the one person who has seen his wicked, traitorous soul and still reach out a hand, ripped away like he was nothing. Caleb Widogast was just a tool to be used to Lucian. And maybe once he had been that to Essek too. But now? Caleb Widogast was—is more than anything Lucian and himself could ever dream of being.

The sphere suddenly dissipates as Lucian walked forward, bloody and burned. Essek knew he couldn’t take another hit from the tiefling, but like Fjord said, there was no going back.

“Certainly was a nice try. Cute even. But my patience wears thin.”

Essek’s world goes dark as a black scimitar plunges into him.

******************************************************

Jolting upright in his bed, Essek has a death grip on his sheets as he did a quick scan of the room. A stained glass window with the image of the stars catches his eyes. The tower. He’s in Caleb’s tower. He let out a shaky breath as he remembered where he was and what had truly happened. By some miracle or just through the sheer willpower of the Mighty Nein, they had saved the world. Some revivification had to happen here and there, but in the end, they stopped Lucian and those cursed eyes disappeared.

Now they were on their trek back to the Dynasty’s outpost. Essek didn’t need to sleep. He could have just tranced and read some of the books Caleb had conjured up. Jester had recommended Tusk Love, although the book with the cat on it seemed to call to him. But after nearly dying several times and saving the world, Essek had decided to sleep like the others.

But with sleep came dreams. And dreams can always turn into nightmares. And he just couldn’t shake away the lingering threads of his dream. He had seen bits of it before. Messing with time and reality meant being able to peer into possibilities. He hadn’t told the Nein but he had seen some terrible fates. And this one stuck with him because of how close they had gotten to it.

His heartbeat still hadn’t calmed as the desire to check on Caleb grew within him. It was irrational. He knew his friend was fine. Probably asleep. There truly was no need to check on him. He should just trance and move on.

. . .

Essek found himself floating outside of Caleb’s door. He was about to knock when he heard another door open. He froze as Jester stepped out of Fjord’s room, making her way to the bathroom. Her eyes locked onto his and she let out a little gasp. He gave a awkward smile, to which she responded back with a wink and finger guns.

He was certain she would be asking him questions tomorrow. He hesitated. What exactly was he doing here? Say hey just checking if you’re okay because I was so afraid we would die and I don’t know if I could handle losing you? Essek wasn’t even sure where he stood with Caleb sometimes. Their relationship was so complicated and some of that was his own fault. Starting a war between countries doesn’t exactly scream trustworthy. Screw it. Essek tapped lightly on Caleb’s door.

“Caleb?”

“Ja, come in.”

*****************************************************

Somehow Essek found himself sitting by Caleb on his bed. Frumpkin was purring on Caleb’s lap as he absentmindedly pet the cat, closing the book he was reading.

“Couldn’t sleep?”

Essek gave a small smile. “Something like that.”

Caleb picked up Frumpkin and set him on the bed, turning to look at Essek. The drow met his gaze, unknowingly showing his fondness of his fellow wizard in his eyes. A wave of relief washed over him. He’s alive. He’s safe. We’re safe.

“I know we made plans to....exchange theories in Aeor, but can we put those on hold for a bit? I’m still itching to delve into the magic there, but I have some loose ends in the Empire I need to tie up first.”

“Of course. Honestly some distance away from that place might be good for everyone right now.”

Caleb smiled slightly. “Had enough adventuring, Thelyss?”

“I would prefer the fate of the world to not be hanging over our heads while we unravel the mysteries of time and space.”

They both shared a laugh. Essek hummed as he felt content here. Here where finally they can just be Caleb and Essek. Not the Shadowhand and the Ex-Scourger. Not the stopper and starter of a brutal and bloody war. Just Caleb and Essek. Two souls content to be in each other’s presence. The pretense of knowledge exchange was no longer necessary. Essek couldn’t help but think “This is why I love this man.”

Essek froze at that thought. He couldn’t deny it though. The numerous possibilities of Caleb’s demise had shaken him to the core when he saw them. Of course he didn’t enjoy seeing his other friends die or suffer a worse fate, but nothing compared to the fear and rage that accompanied the notion of losing Caleb.

Perceptive as ever, Caleb tapped Essek on the shoulder. “You okay?”

Essek chuckled and ran a hand through his hair. “No. I am realizing how much of a fool I have been.”

“You’re on your way. I know I’m being hypocritical when I say don’t be too harsh on yourself. But you did just help save the world.”

“I didn’t mean in regards to the countless mistakes I made in pursuit of knowledge. Although I am foolish in that as well. But I meant how much of a fool I have been about my own feelings.”

Caleb nodded solemnly. “Those are tricky to navigate.”

They sat in silence, both refusing to meet each other’s gazes.

“Caleb I—”

“Essek—”

Both of them awkwardly motioned for the other to speak first. Essek decided he’ll bite the bullet.

“Caleb, I know that trusting me is hard. I wouldn’t have extended a hand to myself, to be honest. But you and the Nein have shown me how wonderful it is to have friends by your side. To have people who care about you. And I—I find myself afraid to lose that, yet also...knowing that I fully deserve to lose it.”

Caleb’s hands wraps around Essek’s. In another lifetime, those hands would have had eyes on it. In this life, all that mar them are scars and burn marks.

“I have been where you are. Stuck between wanting something good and feeling like it’s not for you. Many times...I have toyed with the idea of leaving my friends. Leaving the Nein. But I have found that staying with these people, with my family, they have helped me to be better. Maybe we don’t deserve this. Perhaps one day our hubris and folly will catch up to us.”

“Then why stay? Isn’t it better to run? I know that my sins will have me burning on a stake. I do not wish to involve you in this mess. I will not have you share my fate or ruin the possibilities awaiting you, Caleb. You spoke to me of the venom in our veins. Are you not afraid that one day that venom will spill out and hurt those around you?”

“I am very afraid of that. I have been afraid of that for a long time. Keeping my past from my friends out of fear, they would run once they saw the wickedness inside. But Essek, if there is one thing I have learned through all of this, it’s that the Mighty Nein doesn’t give up on people. They haven’t turned their backs on me. It is not so bad to let those who care about you help you.”

Caleb’s eyes were bright with some emotion Essek couldn’t place.

“I’m not turning my back on you either. You talked about trust. Well, trust me in that I will not let you go down that path again.”

Essek let out a shaky laugh. “I do trust you Caleb. I think I have since that day on the boat. But I don’t know if I can trust myself.”

Caleb leaned forwards, their foreheads now touching. Essek let their breathing sync up. Barring his soul had never felt so calming.

“I don’t fully trust myself either, but we said we’ll keep each other in check, ja?”

“I cannot say I know what will happen once we reach the outpost. I know I cannot hide from the Bright Queen forever. But I need you to know that I care deeply for you, Caleb Widogast. And I hold fast to the possibility of a future where you and I can walk the same path.”

“I dream of that future as well, Essek Thelyss. I need to confront my past and fix the wrongs in my country first. But time. We just need time. Then we will have our moment.”

“We already have time at our fingertips, do we not?”

Caleb laughed, soft and light. “This is why I love you.”

Caleb then froze and pulled back, looking away from the drow. Essek paused and then nodded. He cupped Caleb’s chin, pulling his gaze back to him.

“I am and have been for quite some time, it seems, irrevocably and uselessly in love with you too.”

****************************************************

Essek couldn’t help but smile as Caleb’s expression changed from surprise to a fondness that could not be put into words. A warm fluttering sensation went through him as Caleb closed the gap between them. Ah so this is what kissing Caleb feels like.

It feels like gravity has pulled him to the one place he belongs. A transformation of both souls becoming what they were meant to be. Gravity. Fire. Time. Transformation. Everything that made up the two of them in one single moment.

Maybe it was hours. Or possibly just minutes. But when they finally pulled apart, Essek had never felt more whole in his life. Consecution was meant to take the soul from one body into a new one. This was more. This was his soul finding the piece of himself he had been looking for all his life. His eyes taking in the man before him. Caleb’s eyes keep fluttering open and shut, clearly exhausted. Essek gently pushed him down into the bed.

“Stay with me tonight, Liebling?”

Essek nodded as he laid down next to Caleb, whose long ginger hair was spread out over his pillow like wildfire. Surprisingly, he found himself growing tired as well. Caleb had already fallen asleep with Essek’s hand in his, so Essek just watched the rise and fall of his wizard’s chest. As the two wizards slowly drifted into dreams of their future and the path they had swore to walk together, Frumpkin circled the middle of the bed and curled up between them.

Endless possibilites awaited them.