#calamity homestuck | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

lemonberyy · 1 year ago

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ohmygosh HAHA yes yes (collects papers) it's my time

I love talking about her shes one of my favourite characters in homestuck. She predominantly exists within the Skaianet logs (which I know hussie denounced and apologised for but i still really like this character and her role in canon and (some) of her dynamics with the people around her) (namely the condesce)

She's the cherub mother, and like many figures in the Skaianet logs (and to an extent homestuck canon), she exists as an actual human historical figure (Calamity Jane) but replaced with a homestuck figure (the cherub mother). She's implied to have inhabited Earth for a long time, as the humans are aware of her and amicable to her.

The first interaction we see of her is through the Condesce's point of view—in fact nearly every log is from her perspective (they're technically all written in 3rd person but that's irrelevant). She lands on earth in the year 1863 after the Vast Glub and things are rocky at first. She just starts killing the locals and keeps doing so until she's shot. By this... gun. But it isn't any gun, "It wounds her more than an ordinary rifle should." The being that shot her was a "green, muscular woman, even taller than she is. She's dressed like a frontierswoman, (Note: she's just dressed as the real Calamity Jane was) holding the rifle. It is an adult female cherub named Calamity. Her nickname as a notorious figure in the west is Calamity Jane."

And so begins the saga!! Calamity and Condy fight. Calamity wins and proceeds to chastise Condy, telling her to "stop fooling around and get to work." (This is foreshadowing!!) Condy leaves with a "begrudging sense of admiration for whoever this woman is." She cuts off her horns and chops most of her hair off and starts building up her Betty Crocker empire. She has relations with a few humans, but for the sake of brevity I'll just keep things brief and say she married Mark Twain (because it amuses me). Oh, and also because... Mark Twain later becomes Colonel Sassacre!

While Condy is building up the Betty Crocker name, she keeps having run-ins with Calamity. Whether she's having Condy's human lackeys arrested "The heist is interrupted by Calamity. By now she is a widely-known folk hero. She kills all the goons. [...]takes them to jail to collect the reward." or just following her around. Calamity is a constant presence that Condy cannot shake.

She uses her influence as Betty Crocker to start a new company known as Skaianet. She puts her husband in charge, and has him employ people to begin excavating Sburban tech from various ruins as a way to integrate Alternian technology into her growing bakery empire. She's still got her goals, her mission. By now, she's serving Lord English, and in unknowing tandem with Calamity, is working to create the Game on Earth.

The plan is to create a new universe, and in that one, Condy is entirely sure she will rule it. "Then, finally finished with the work she She will rule Alternia C, resurrect the troll race, and continue her reign more powerful than ever." This is her motivation. However, Calamity has a different goal in mind. She knows of Condy's plans to create a new world... And wants to use it to raise her children in a distant future. But that's far away from here... Let's just pick up where we left off for now.

Calamity starts up a rival baked goods company to keep an eye on Condy. She uses the money from its success to fun a group of assassin magicians to mess with Condy's work. This specialised group is good at making things disappear, like "Money, employees, even entire bakeries." Condy hears reports of a rival bakery baroness known as Little Debbie. She heard her referred to as Jane. She knows exactly who that is.

Things proceed as normal. Well, as normal as you can get with these two. Which isn't much, but it's something. There's at least the notion of a routine. Until one of her bakeries is struck by a meteor. Upon investigation, a baby girl lies at the impact sight, sitting inside of a dirty but fashionable hat. She's brought back to the Crocker manor, and a few hours after, another meteor impacts. This one is just shy of the manor, and at the bottom of that one is a baby boy dual-wielding flintlock pistols. He shoots Mark Twain in the heart, killing him, and leaving Condy to do all the raising herself.

She does so, taking the two babies into her home and raising them as her own. The girl, she names Jane, "after her nemesis Calamity." She names the boy Jake "as an afterthought, because it sounds a bit like Jane, human names are stupid, and she doesn't actually care."

Jake is the heir to Skaianet, but must first be raised to take it over in the first place. However as a teen, he's rather rebellious, and runs away with his loyal pup, Halley. "He changes his last name to Halley, but due to a speech impediment, his name is bastardized to Harley, which sticks for the rest of his life." Jane stays, and learns the ways of baking from Condy. She is miserable.

Both children grow up, and Jake at 21 inherits Skaianet. "He believes SN is now a considerably more distinct entity from Crocker Corp, and his leadership of the company is a result of his hard work and competence. Neither is true." Jake loves to explore, and uses his position and affluence to plunder ruins and Sburban technology. Said tech is laundered through Skaianet and makes its way back to Condy in her efforts to create the Game.

Jane grows resentful of Condy and leaves at 35, wanting to live her own life and not inherit the empire. She has a son and raises him by herself, teaching him strength and kindness.

Condy pulls some other chicanery, but it doesn't really matter. She's known for a long time that this timeline was a dud. "From the moment she arrived, up until the world ends, everything that's happened has been sort of a trial run. The apocalypse will come in the year 2009," And then, she releases the game. She leaves through the game and Calamity quietly follows.

Begin the Post-Scratch, aka Alpha timeline. Condy is positive this is the timeline she will take over and rule. "...in that timeline, the world will not end in 2009. Beyond that year, it will simply belong to her." Her goals are finally being realised, and hopefully once this timeline's game session begins, she can go hands off and not worry about Lord English anymore.

Jane and Jake enter their session, and the world left behind is the one that Roxy and Dirk will be familiar with. Time passes. Roxy and Dirk enter their own sessions, and Condy tries to mind control everyone so that they make her world the way she wants it.

But John getting ahold of the house juju and retconning everything wasn't expected, and when the tides turn against her, she's caught unawares.

As Condy lays, dying, someone comes into her vision. None other than possibility the last person she wanted to see, the very woman that's been following her since day one. Calamity bids her goodbyes. "All she ever wanted was to ensure the conditions were satisfied for the birth of her children. It was nothing personal. She needed to contain HIC's wild impulses, to keep her in check, to make sure she stayed in the rails of her designated global conquest to secure the future birthplace of her son and daughter. Now it's over. They have both succeeded, and Calamity must travel to the new universe to find her mate, and breed. The last thing HIC sees is Calamity throwing off her shroud, spreading her angel wings, and flying up to Skaia."

Her Imperious Condescension dies shortly thereafter.

This is it!! This is the full story behind Calamity. Well, mostly. I left a lot of things out whether they were tangentally related and would have resulted in a lot of sidelines, or if they were in rather poor taste (re: the things hussie apologised for). But! That's the gist of her! A highly underrated homestuck character, brought up in canon once and never again. Everything else... left to rot in a homestuck wiki page over the skaianet files.

could you draw calamity! I've seen you draw callie and cal but ohh id love to see you draw calamity. her outfits are so fun!

Who’s calamity? :U I’m afraid I’ve never seen her before!

#calamity jane #calamity #calamity homestuck #reblogs #bery blithers #long post

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chuckeroo777 · 5 months ago

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Chuck's Backpack Hero Mods

So, I've obviously been hyper-fixating on Dungeon Meshi lately, but that isn't all I do. For the past year, I've been making mods for my current favorite game: Backpack Hero!

My collection of mods! Look here if you want to check out any of these mods for yourself!

So in this post, I thought it would be fun to go over all my mods, and share some of my favorite details.

Chuck's Bionicle Mod: contains 245 items

Naturally, my first mod was a Bionicle mod. I love Bionicle. While I did a lot of custom spritework for this mod, shout out to Danska's Bionicle Builder, which is what I used for the masks and set-accurate weapons.

The mod's main gimmick is loot boxes! You can find mask packs, and equipment packs which can be opened for random items from the corresponding set wave. If you're real lucky, you may even find a bulk parts pack, which contains random equipment packs!

Nearly every set is represented, and a wide assortment of items from MNOG and VNOG are included too. As my first pack, the balancing was pretty spotty at first, but a few updates have fixed the more egregious examples. Did you know it took me 6 months to realize that the nektann robots had accidentally been set to unfindable?

Chuck's Plants vs Zombies Mod: contains 654 items??? (probably cut that down to like, ~350ish, since packets don't really count as a separate item)

My second mod, and hoo boy is it a doozy. Probably my favorite mod, this mod has a ton of work put into it, containing every plant from the orginal game, PvZ 2, and chinese PvZ 2. Thats a lot of plants!

The main gimmick of this mod is plant packets. Instead of finding plants as loot, you get packets, which grow over time. Once enough encounters occur with it in your pack, it grows into the plant.

But plants aren't the only thing in this pack. There is also a suite of zombie equipment, which grows stronger based on how many plants you have. Not to mention watering cans, pinatas, guppies, and other essentials to help fuel your botanical battle pack!

Chuck's Bloons Mod: Contains 134 items (again, effective number is a lot lower due to upgrades)

Ah yes, my bloons mod. This is probably my least favorite mod, simple because of how jank it is.

Basically, monkey's grow more powerful based on how many bloons they pop. As they reach thresholds, they get upgraded. However, spriting and programming so many upgrades gets rather tedious. This, combined with the fact that playing with the mod is rather feast or famine makes me not particularly fond.

Getting enough bloons can be tricky if you don't find one of the generators, and some monkeys are just way more useful than others, since due to the effort required, fully upgraded monkeys are mostly an endless mode thing, and some of them just don't scale into endless very well.

That being said, most of the monkeys are at least okay at a base level, so in casual play, they are decent, if not exciting.

Also, the monkey loot packs being barrels makes me giggle.

Chuck's Random Items Mod: contains 10 items

A simple little pack containing a few endless focused items. Originally meant for random ideas, but the next mod ended up taking that role.

Some neat examples include the white manastone, which acts as fuel for the vanilla black manastone, the sticky token, which acts as both energy and duct tape, at the cost of gimping defense, and the Fatum Ruptor, my signature sword.

Chuck's Pack of Mediocre Items: contains 109 items

This is a fun one. Basically, when modding, one tends to make things stronger than vanilla. So I challenged myself to make a pack with intentionally weak, but useful items. That doesn't mean it's bad, just lacks a lot of the raw power my other mods have.

As such, it is my recommendation for if you want a more vanilla style pack. Some of these items are literally just vanilla items with a twist. Such as the glove of knife. Just the one. Glove of knives was OP anyway.

Plenty of cheeky little references in here too. Like the candy cane horns which fill you with rage, or the pristine blade which fractures into one of ten different variants.

Chuck's Terraria Mod: contains 111 items

Ah yes, my favorite Minecraft clone. This pack has a little of everything. You got arrows, spears, tomes of ichor based magic, what's not to love?

If you're really lucky, you might find a crate containing items from my second and third favorite mods, Thorium and Calamity. (Sorry guys, you aren't even close to beating Magic Storage in the top spot.)

This pack also has few item type gimmicks I think are cool. Spears can only be used once per turn, but they have strong AOE attacks. Bullets are arrows that can also be used only once per turn. And then there is the copper shortsword. If you swing it 999 times, something cool might happen.

Chuck's Stick Ranger Mod: 174 items

Anyone else remember this game? Man, Stick Ranger was awesome. Pity they never made a sequel. Anyway, this pack contains a wide assortment of items, including 16 weapons from each class, except angel and gunner. Gunner only gets 8. Angel gets... 34???

Yeah, I like rings. I gave them a cool mechanic where they buff other adjacent rings, like a variant of Satchel's hammers. So of course I included a ton of them.

Also, the imperial crown used to hold the record for the laggiest item I ever made, but engine optimizations has made it actually viable to use. Hooray! Much like the game it comes from, the crown massively boosts the threat enemies pose, but greatly rewards you for it.

Chuck's Neo-Battledome Mod: contains 130 items

To be perfectly honest, I never got past the level of duel-wielding scarab rings before I got banned due to my account getting hacked. Hasn't stopped me from obsessively keeping up with battledome weapon releases, even if they're currently releasing, like, three a year.

That's right, did you ever play Neopets and wished you could wield the Darigan Sword of Death? Or really wanted to own a Weird Scarab, even though it was an impossible to find yet completely ineffectual item? Well, now you can do the next best thing!

Chuck's Elder Scrolls Mod: contains 59 items

Ah, Skyrim. My first M rated game. Which I bought without my parents' permission. Honestly, get rid of those terrible blood splatters, and the strangely mild swearing, and it would pass for T. (Seriously, how do Skyrim and Stick of Truth have the same rating???)

Anyway, this mod contains items from not just skyrim, but oblivion and morrowind too. And maybe even an item or two from arena and daggerfall if you're nice.

If you collect 24 Stones of Barenziah, absolutely nothing happens. Just like in Skyrim.

Chuck's MSPA Mod: contains 49 items

Ah yes. Homestuck. I'd say it's pretty good. Shame it ended at act 7. Anyway, here's some items to shove in your sylladex backpack. Lots of Problem Sleuth items too. Those are probably a bit less polarizing.

Probably best to swiftly move along.

Chuck's Enchanting Crystals Mod: contains 18 items

A small, but simple pack. These crystals can be used to add permanent buffs to your items. The more powerful ones contain downsides though, so be careful.

Chuck's RPG Classes Mod: contains 68 items (Only 9 of which are actually findable, lol)

One of my most popular mods, this adds essences which boost various play-styles. They start off weak, but as you kill enemies, they level up! When leveling up, they branch into two options, with six of the base essences each having four different final forms.

Let me give you a hint. If you're using this, or any of my mods with upgrading items, I won't get mad if you use debug mode to check what items will do when they grow up.

Chuck's Card Slinger Mod: contains 88 items

Ask any Backpack Hero player who the worst playable character is, and we'll all agree. It's Tote. So here's a mod to try and make her more fun. Excuse the use of the thumbnail instead of a pack of items. Carvings are a pain to screenshot.

This mod contains carvings for Tote based on a variety of card games, like Hearthstone, Eternal, MtG, Inscryption, and more! Seriously, some of these are obscure as heck. Like the ones from my own card game that I have never shown off publicly.

Generally fitting into a discard-light setup, the minion cards attack each turn, but get discarded if you get attacked too many times. There are also self-discarding spells, and cards which buff your other cards.

Crown of Possibilities is my favorite TCG card of all time, and you can't change my mind.

Chuck's Mod of Loathing: contains 36 items

Couldn't really get into Kingdom of Loathing, but dang if West of Loathing and Shadows over Loathing aren't amazing games.

Anyway, items in this pack are neat, but I may have created the worst item ever in the Spittoon. It hurts you when used, but gives treasure! Most of the treasure is awful. There is only one good item in its pool. And it's a damn good one. So there I go. Reaching into every spittoon I find, taking ten damage for no reason, hoping to get lucky. If that doesn't capture the essence of the spittoon, I don't know what will.

Chuck's Backpack Battles Mod: contains 47 items

Ah yes, my third favorite backpack based game.

Some pretty neat mechanics in this mod. The versitile dagger and thirsting blade both have a mechanic where after using them for a while, they upgrade into a random crafted version. The gems also upgrade over time.

I also added some dragon eggs. I thought they were really swell. How swell? Well...

Chuck's Dragon Eggs Mod: contains 641 items!!! (Like the PvZ mod, cut that roughly in half.)

Originally based on Dragon Cave, I had to take it down and rework it with my own original sprite art. I'd say it turned out pretty good.

This mod contains eggs which hatch after a while into dragons. It is mainly focused on Pouchette, who can find the full selection, but the others can find a more limited selection too. (Except Tote. Tote never gets to have fun. Except when she finds a Darigan Sword of Death.)

I had a lot of fun figuring out the flavor for this mod. There are a ton of different dragon types, each with it's own type of effect. Tarasques are defensive, drakes have power in numbers, bug dragons are totally a real thing, and weren't the result of running out of unique body plans...

Chuck's Randomly Generated Mod: contains 38 items

Exactly what it says on the tin. I set up a random table, rolled two effects, a trigger, and a character, then made an item inspired by the results.

Chuck's Hyperrealistic Mod: contains 15 items

Gonna be honest, this one's a shitpost.

Chuck's Undertale Mod: contains 92 items

This was a fun pack to work on. I love Undertale and Deltarune, so I certainly wasn't lacking inspiration. Most of the equipment and consumables are in there, along with plenty of memes. I got you're stopsigns, a punchcard that provides massive value if you know how to exploit it, maybe even a Prunsel if you're good.

My favorite item has to be the cell phone. Each battle, you receive a random call, providing a small benefit. You might get Undyne slapping spaghetti against the receiver, you might get Papyrus complaining about spike regulations, you might get [half price baloney], you never know!

Chuck's Dredmor Mod: contains 36 items

Ever played Dungeons of Dredmor? It's very silly. And hard. I've never won a run.

Anyway, here's some random items from that game cause I felt like it. What more do you want?

Chuck's Dungeon Dice Mod: contains 52 items (more like 7 lol)

Contains items which randomize their effects at the start of each battle. Pretty cool.

Anyway, those are my mods. Enjoy a screenshot of the nonsense you can get up to with all my mods active.

Hope you enjoyed reading, and maybe enjoy playing with them!

Stay tuned for my next mod, based on Chips Challenge! This may or may not be a joke.

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