#cake smash shoot

[ruhitevents]

Capture the Joy of Celebrating with a Delicious Cake Smash Shoot

Celebrations are an important part of our lives, as they provide us with the opportunity to gather with loved ones, reflect on our accomplishments, and create lasting memories. Whether it's a birthday, graduation, wedding, or any other special occasion, there's nothing quite like the feeling of joy and excitement that comes with celebrating a milestone. And what better way to capture that joy than with a cake smash shoot?

A cake smash shoot in Dubai is a fun and playful way to commemorate a special occasion, and it's becoming an increasingly popular trend in the world of photography. This type of shoot involves setting up a large cake and encouraging the subject to play with it and eat it in any way they please. The resulting photos capture the subject's unbridled joy and delight as they dive into the cake and make a mess.

Cake smash shoots come in many different styles and variations, each with its own unique approach and flair. Here are a few examples of different types of cake smash shoots:

Traditional cake smash shoot: This is the most common type of cake smash shoot, where the subject is seated in front of a large, brightly colored cake and encouraged to play with and eat the cake in any way they please. The photographer captures the subject's reactions and expressions as they dive into the cake, creating a fun and playful series of photos.

Minimalist cake smash shoot: This type of shoot takes a more minimalistic approach, with a small, simple cake and a neutral backdrop. The focus is on the subject's reactions and expressions, with the cake serving as a fun and playful prop.

Themed cake smash shoot: Themed cake smash shoots incorporate a specific theme or concept, such as a favorite character, hobby, or color scheme. The cake, backdrop, and props all tie into the theme, creating a cohesive and personalized experience.

Family cake smash shoot: In a family cake smash shoot, the subject's family members join them with baby photography making it a fun and playful experience for everyone. The photographer captures the interactions and reactions between family members, as well as the subject's reactions to the cake.

Outdoor cake smash shoot: An outdoor cake smash shoot takes place in a natural setting, such as a park or garden. The subject is seated in front of a large cake, with the natural scenery serving as a beautiful backdrop. This type of shoot can create stunning and unique photos.

These are just a few examples of the different types of cake smash shoots that are available. The possibilities are endless, and each shoot can be customized to fit the subject's personality and preferences.

To obtain a cake smash shoot, there are a few steps you can take:

Find a photographer: The first step is to find a photographer who specializes in cake smash shoots. You can start by searching online or asking for recommendations from friends or family members who have had a cake smash shoot in the past.

Discuss your preferences: Once you have found a photographer, schedule a consultation to discuss your preferences for the shoot. This is a great opportunity to share any specific ideas or themes you have in mind, as well as any preferences for the cake, backdrop, and props.

Book the shoot: Once you have finalized the details with your photographer, it's time to book the shoot. Make sure to choose a date and time that work for everyone involved, and don't forget to confirm any important details, such as the location and what to wear.

Prepare for the shoot: In the days leading up to the shoot, make sure to prepare everything you need. This might include purchasing a special outfit or coordinating props, as well as ensuring that your subject is well-rested and well-fed before the shoot.

Have fun! On the day of the shoot, it's time to relax, have fun, and let the photographer work their magic. Encourage your subject to play with and enjoy the cake, and don't be afraid to get messy! Remember, the goal is to capture the joy and excitement of the moment.

Choose your photos: After the shoot, the photographer will typically provide a selection of photos for you to choose from. Take your time to review the photos and choose your favorites, and don't hesitate to ask for any edits or adjustments that you would like to be made.

Overall, obtaining a cake smash shoot is a fun and memorable experience that can create lasting memories. By following these steps, you can ensure that you have a successful and enjoyable shoot that captures the joy of celebrating a special occasion.

A cake smash shoot is a fun and playful way to capture the joy and excitement of celebrating a special occasion. With so many different types of cake smash shoots available, there is something for everyone, whether you prefer a traditional approach or a more personalized theme. By working with a skilled photographer, you can ensure that your cake smash shoot is a fun and memorable experience that creates lasting memories for you and your loved ones. So why not give it a try and capture the joy of celebrating with a delicious cake smash shoot.

[moonbeamphotographysc]

[priyachhabraphotoshoot]

Cake Smash Photoshoot | 1st Year Birthday Photoshoots.

At Priya Chhabra Photography, all of my sessions focus on capturing the love between families, the celebration of a new life and many life events like these through my lens. After all, it’s all about “The Celebration of Love”. I provide several options for photography sessions to invest in to capture these memories, through digital images on a customized drive that you print at a local lab of your choice, or prints and other items that I help get for you from professional, high-quality printing labs. There’s no right or wrong answer here, and I believe that you should have the option to choose the investment option that suits you the best.

Cake Smash Photoshoot

[tourbierfotografie]

Die beste Babyfotografie Frankfurt. Wir erfassen die süßen Bewegungen Ihres Babys, also vereinbaren Sie jetzt Ihren Termin. Für weitere Informationen kontaktieren Sie uns unter 01 52/2854 8345.

[reshinless]

kinich refuses to put cake on your face in your wedding day

even before back when you still were just boyfriend, girlfriend, the evening he decided to propose; under a stellar night sky, "look a shooting star! quick, make a wish!" you quickly pointed out to the dark azure stratosphere.

"..."

"..did you wish?"

"yeah."

"well then, what was it!!"

"if i tell it now, it won't come true. isn't that what you said?"

"aww c'mon! i'm curious now!"

the tradition of putting cake onto your partner's face never appealed to him. he thought it was rude. he didn't wanna dirty the face he found the prettiest.

so the best he'd do is the smallest bit of icing on the tip of your nose, then put the rest of it in your mouth and lets you do the same.

he knew tonight was a cold night out as well, and gave you the jacket of his suit.

he knew how long it took to do your makeup, so he didn't wanna ruin it.

the cake tradition i'm taking about here usually refers to how your partner will take care of you, in sickness and in health, but when they smash it, it means they won't. so in the most respectful way possible, he didn't wanna disresepct you!

yeah he did his research, its his partner we're talking about. as much as he is blunt, he's quiet because most of the time he's busy paying attention to your likes.

did you notice how the cake was your favorite? did you notice it was your favorite flowers that he put up at every curtain? did you notice it was mixed with his and your culture when it came to traditions as well?

"you feel any better?" is all he says while watching you admire the scenery from a balcony. the venue was up in a tree, and all you wanted to do was admire what felt like a dream below you.

"can i know what you wished for on that day you proposed to me on?" you look over to your now husband.

"i wished for you to accept my proposal, and spend my life with you."

[synthetickitsune]

Jeonghan (SVT) | Wedding Cake fluff | 0.8k | gn!reader

You really won’t do it, right? You recall asking the question about a week ago, remember your teeth sinking into your lip and shaky breathing. You felt bad about asking then, and you feel the same shame now. There is no reason to ask, nor to doubt, afterall. Jeonghan would never hurt you intentionally. His teasing and pranks are all for entertainment, curated carefully to whoever is their victim, so no harm is caused, no damage done that can’t be fixed with a hug and his loving smile.

The same smile is deeper, fonder, all the more blinding now as Jeonghan looks at you from just a couple steps away. He looks so handsome in his suit, a tiny flower in his breast pocket. It doesn’t look as pretty as it did in the morning - no surprise there, you expected it’d become his emotional support item for the day. You caught him fidgeting with it a few times. But your eyes barely linger on the petals before you finally gather the courage to meet his eyes. Your husband’s eyes. 

Your heart beats just a little faster. The label is still so new and exciting. This is the man you chose to marry, to spend the rest of your life with. You trust him, you know he’d never hurt you. The gentle and loving look in his eyes makes you fall in love with him again. It usually soothes you in an instant, but your anxiety is fueled by the number of people in the room, by the atmosphere, and you know how quickly his gaze can turn from gentle to playful.

It’s time. You close the short distance between you and let him pull you closer by the waist, feel some nerves calm down when he kisses your cheek and smiles at you.

The cake in front of you is what you dreamed of. It’s beautiful and the decorations are cute, yet your stomach also twists slightly. Everything and everyone is in place. Jeonghan picks up the knife and you follow his lead, wrapping your hand around the handle too. You hear the camera shutter click a few times and get a little conscious of your expression. What face are you making? You’re not sure, but you think you’re smiling because your husband is holding you close and you can feel his heart beating fast where his chest presses a little against your shoulder.

The cake is cut, and suddenly your mouth feels dry. You watch in slow motion as Jeonghan’s hand moves towards the cake and you close your eyes, blink for just a second longer than you should. Thousand mortifying scenarios run through your head. Your clothes ruined, your hair dirty with cake, your face a mess. You keep your eyes closed for another second. There’s a little smudge of something cold and wet on your lips.

You open your eyes and try to look down, but there are gentle fingers on your chin and chuckling Jeonghan who pulls you into a sweet kiss. Sweet as in literally sweet. You can taste the icing from the cake. Laughing into the kiss, you pull your husband closer before pulling away. You touch your lips but there’s nothing of the icing left.

He’s smiling too, but you see the way he tilts his head to make sure you’re okay. You are. You hear your friends and family laughing, see their smiling faces from the corner of your eye. Their happiness cannot match yours, however.

“Did you really think I’d smash your face into the cake?” Jeonghan leans closer and whispers into your ear while the cake is being distributed around, his own piece waiting for him, the imprint of his fingers on full display. He sounds a little worried, so you squeeze his hand and give him a smile.

“I was worried for some reason, but it’s not like I thought you’d do it,” you admit and watch him sigh in relief before he pouts.

“Mingyu betted the guys that I would last week,” he whines to you, shooting the man in question a quick glare, “Sometimes I think he hates me.”

“He doesn’t, I think he was just upset about your prank back then,” you reassure him.

“How did you know I pranked him?” Jeonghan gasps, making you roll your eyes.

“I think I know my husband well enough to know,” you shrug. He pauses for a second before he bites his lips and grins. “What now?”

“You called me your husband,” he chuckles, “I like it. Call me that from now on.”

“I think I have no choice,” you laugh, giddiness slowly bubbling all through your body. 

Your husband. 

You’re not sure who makes the first move, who pulls the other into another short kiss, but you know it feels sweet like the cake.

[hatsukeii]

the curious case of kageyama tobio's love life / kageyama tobio x reader

genre(s): crack + fluff! timeskip au (third year/graduation), investigative report format, secretly dating trope, drunk x sober LMFAO

warnings(s): drunk people and house parties... (underage drinking is not! recommended here!), defs multiple/many uses of y/n because of how the fic is formatted but you need to trust the process PLEASE (sorry!) also reader's ass gets slapped by kags as a dare...

wc: ~4k

tldr; below is a transcript, recounted by partygoers hinata shoyo, tsukishima kei, yachi hitoka, and yamaguchi tadashi, of the happenings at hinata shoyo's graduation house party, set on the night of 29th march. any and all hearings have been sworn to be the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. they think. probably.

[Report #1- Initiated by Hinata Shoyo]

Date of occurrence: March 29

Time of occurrence: 7:20pm

Location of occurrence: Living room

Kageyama Tobio is the third guest to arrive at Hinata Shoyo's residence, twenty minutes after Tsukishima Kei and Yamaguchi Tadashi. He carries with him the items that were agreed on the night prior- two twelve-packs of beer, one two litre bottle of coke, one Nintendo switch, and two Nintendo Pro controllers. Upon entry, Hinata Shoyo greets him at the door, and the following conversation ensues between Hinata Shoyo and Kageyama Tobio.

[Transcript #1- provided by Hinata Shoyo]

S. Hinata: You're here, what's good! You got the stuff too?

T. Kageyama: Yeah. Where's everyone else?

S. Hinata: Daichi's on patrol until eight, Suga's picking him up when he's done. Yachi's lining up to pick up the cake with y/n-

T. Kageyama: Cool, I'll put the stuff down there. (He signals to the kitchen counter across the living room)

[End of transcript #1]

Kageyama Tobio proceeds to the television, where he sets up his Nintendo on the dock. He then offers a controller to Tsukishima Kei, who accepts, and joins Kageyama in a game of Super Smash Bros. Upon opening the character menu, half of his characters are unavailable for use, evident by the following conversation that ensues between Tsukishima Kei and Kageyama Tobio.

[Transcript #2- Provided by Tsukishima Kei]

T. Kageyama: What the fuck?

K. Tsukishima: For someone who's had this game since release, you're pretty shit if you can barely move past the starter characters.

T. Kageyama: Shut up. [He proceeds to the home page of his console.]

K. Tsukishima: Sure.

[End of transcript #2]

Kageyama Tobio then leaps to the dock, unplugging it for a total of forty-two (Hinata Shoyo estimates) seconds. During its downtime, he is seen to be wiping his neck with one hand, tapping at the screen with the other. The game of Super Smash Bros ensues when he replugs it onto the dock, to reveal a fully unlocked character selection screen. Kageyama Tobio, who plays Sonic the Hedgehog, loses 1:2 against Tsukishima Kei, who plays Sora. But don't tell him that Hinata Shoyo kept count. Thanks.

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[Report #2- Initiated by Yachi Hitoka]

Date of occurrence: March 29

Time of occurrence: 7:46pm

Location of occurrence: Living room, kitchen

Yachi Hitoka and y/n are the sixth and seventh guests to arrive at Hinata Shoyo's residence. By the time they step foot into the house, Hinata Shoyo is three vodka redbulls in, courtesy of Tanaka Ryunosuke and Nishinoya Yuu's contributions to the party's catalogue of available drinks, and is shooting down a fourth with Yamaguchi Tadashi, who is on his first drink of the night. Tsukishima Kei is one can of beer in, and is wrestling Kageyama Tobio on the couch, who is two cans of beer in. Upon entry, Hinata Shoyo slings an arm around Yamaguchi Tadashi, and drags him along to greet the two guests. The following conversation ensues between Yachi Hitoka, Hinata Shoyo, Yamaguchi Tadashi, and y/n.

[Transcript #3- Provided by Yachi Hitoka]

Y/n: What is going on...?

S. Hinata: You're heeeere! C'mon, take a bit from me! [Hinata Shoyo proceeds to tilt his glass too far into his face, and breathe in roughly 250mL of redbull mixed with vodka. He chokes. Yamaguchi Tadashi attempts to worm out of Hinata Shoyo's grasp. His attempt is unsuccessful.]

H. Yachi: If this is what forty minutes looks like, I don't think I wanna know what happens later.

Y/n: Why are they wrestling like... that?

H. Yachi: Men.

T. Yamaguchi: Men.

S. Hinata: [coughs]

Y/n: Understandable.

[End of transcript #3]

Y/n heads to the kitchen counter, where they set a cake into the fridge. Kageyama Tobio breaks free from Tsukishima Kei's sloppy side pin at this moment. Tsukishima Kei heads for the bathroom, and does not return until twenty minutes later. It is unsure what occurred in the bathroom, but not of importance. Kageyama makes a beeline for the fridge, and stubs his toe on the corner of the kitchen counter. He is...unusually uncoordinated, and barges into the space beside y/n, only to grab a third beer and push his way out again. Y/n shoots him a side eye, one that nobody else notices, except for Yachi Hitoka, who is currently writing this report. It's pretty scary, actually, they're a little scary with the side eye. But that is besides the point.

Y/n does not take a drink, but instead heads to the now empty couch, where they pick up the discarded Nintendo Pro controllers off the ground, and invite Yamaguchi Tadashi and Yachi Hitoka to a game of Super Smash Bros. Upon entering the game, y/n selects Sonic as their character. Kageyama Tobio returns to the couch with a can of beer at this moment, and the following conversation ensues between y/n, and Kageyama Tobio.

[Transcript #4- Provided by Yachi Hitoka]

T. Kageyama: Why aren't you picking Ness?

Y/n: I feel like Sonic today, so why not?

T. Kageyama: Sonic's difficult, even for me. Fun, though.

Y/n: I never get to play Sonic, so now that I can, I'm using him.

T. Kageyama: ...Fair enough.

[End of transcript #4]

Following the conversation, Kageyama Tobio does not leave the area. He leans with his forearms against the edge of the couch, and his hands hanging just above y/n's shoulders. He does, however, watch the game and the game only. Y/n, who plays Sonic the Hedgehog, ties with Yachi Hitoka, who plays Kirby. They both lose to Yamaguchi Tadashi, who plays Joker.

▬▬▬▬▬▬▬

[Report #3- initiated by Tsukishima Kei]

Date of occurrence: March 29

Time of occurrence: 9:02pm

Location of occurrence: Living room

Disclaimer: Tsukishima Kei would like to preface that from this point onwards, his recounts may be liable to errors in continuity and/or accuracy. This is because by 9pm, he was three cans of beer, and one can of Jack Daniels and coke in. Daichi Sawamura, in his fancy police uniform and all, insisted on staying sober, so he will be fact checking any of Tsukishima Kei's recounts up until the point when he leaves the party prematurely. Daichi Sawamura will be aided by Sugawara Koushi, who also insisted on staying sober. For the children, he said. From Daichi Sawamura and Sugawara Koushi's departures onwards, any and all informtaion provided by Tsukishima Kei is subject to human error and inaccuracies. Apologies for the inconvenience.

[The following is fact checked by Daichi Sawamura and Sugawara Koushi]

Hinata Shoyo, who has managed to hold in four vodka redbulls, one can of beer, and half a vodka cruiser thus far, makes the suggestion to play drunken truth or dare. At this point in time, Kageyama Tobio is three cans of beer, and two cans of Jack Daniels and coke in. He is half-asleep on y/n, who looks visibly distraught, like when a guy you're not really into thinks he's allowed to sleep on your shoulder. At Hinata's proposal of truth or dare, y/n speaks into the air, however, it is inaudible to Tsukishima Kei, who has just returned from another twenty minute break in the bathroom. What can be said? The guy needs his downtime away from the rest of these drunk idiots. (This is a Daichi Sawamura approved comment)

In y/n's hand is a red cup, however, it is unconfirmed whether its contents are alcoholic or not. Everybody sits in a circle on the ground of Hinata Shoyo's living room, and in the fourth round of truth or dare, the following conversation ensues between Hinata Shoyo, y/n, Kageyama Tobio, Tsukishima Kei, and Yachi Hitoka.

[Transcript #5- Provided by Tsukishima Kei (aided by Daichi Sawamura and Sugawara Koushi)]

S. Hinata: Who's to SAYYYY...it isn't somebody...RIGHT HEEEEERE! [Hinata Shoyo swirls a bottled vodka cruiser in circles, and spills rougly 15mL of its contents onto his carpet. Nobody notices this. The carpet is not cleaned until the next morning. This will be of importance.]

T. Kageyama: Yeahhhhh...YEAAAAAAH! It HAAAAS to be somebody here, riiiiiiight?...RIIIIIIIGHT? [Kageyama Tobio nudges y/n's shoulders as he prods on. His inquisition is futile, as y/n does not respond directly to his advances. However, they shoot him a look. You know, the look of panic when a guy that you're a little bit into starts totally hitting on you in front of everyone.]

Y/n: Yachi's question was are you into anybody. Yes, I am. Who's next?

K. Tsukishima: Well...it's no FUN if you're not telling us whooooo! C'monnn, a guy hits on you every other day...it's BOOOOORING if you don't tell usssssss...specifics! Yeah, specifics!

T. Kageyama: You're...stiiiiiill getting hit on by OTHERRRR GUYSSSSS? [Kageyama Tobio proceeds to grab y/n by the shoulders, and turn them to face himself. Y/n is visibly taken aback. They shoot another look. the kind of look where your mouth is open and you suddenly stop blinking because you aren't sure how to anymore.]

Y/n: Can we...can we please move on to the next person? Thanks! [Y/n taps Kageyama Tobio's wrists two times. Kageyama Tobio releases y/n from his grasp, and folds his arms.]

H. Yachi: Goooooootcha! [Yachi Hitoka takes a swig from a red cup. Its contents are known to be cream soda and vodka in a 7:1 ratio, courtesy of Hinata Shoyo's contributions to the party's catalogue of available drinks. At this moment, Yachi Hitoka is two drinks in, and that is already two drinks too many.] So, Yamaguchi! Truuuuuuuth...or dare?

[End of transcript #5]

This round of truth or dare continues for another thirteen minutes. No further interactions are recorded between Kageyama Tobio and y/n within this timeframe. Daichi Sawamura and Sugawara Koushi leave the party prematurely at 9:20pm.

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[Report #4- Initiated by Tsukishima Kei]

Date of occurrence: March 29

Time of occurrence: 9:52pm

Location of occurrence: Living room, kitchen

[The following is not fact checked by Daichi Sawamura or Sugawara Koushi, and may contain inaccuracies. Ensure to cross check with multiple reliable sources. As reliable as you can get with a group of hammered, freshly graduated young adults, and their enabling seniors, at least. For the record, Tsukishima Kei has ceased his consumption of alcohol by this point in time. Tsukishima Kei's brother, Tsukishima Akiteru, gives him the talk when he returns home the following day, but that is not of importance. So don't worry about it. Just know that Tsukishima Kei was the second most responsible drinker of the night. Thanks.]

At approximately...9:52pm? Yes, 9:52pm, sure. At 9:52pm, y/n separates from the truth or dare circle, and proceeds towards the kitchen. They are seen filling up a red cup with coke, and nothing else. While y/n is away from the larger group, the following conversation ensues between Nishinoya Yuu, Kageyama Tobio, Tsukishima Kei, and Hinata Shoyo.

[Transcript #6- Provided by Tsukishima Kei]

Y. Nishinoya: No...I'VE GOT a GOOOOOOOOD ONE FOR HIM! ...KAGEYAMA! I...daaaaaare YOU!

K. Tsukishima: He asked for a truuuuuuuuuuth, not a...DAAAARE!

S. Hinata: GODDAMN LET HIIIIIIM FINISHHHHHH....

Y. Nishinoya: Yeaaaaaah, asshooooooole. Leeeeeet me FINISHHHHHH! [Nishinoya Yuu sniffs, and stares into the ceiling for four seconds. Not a single thought is coherent in Nishinoya Yuu's mind.]

T. Kageyama: Whaaaat am I dooooing! I'm gaaaaame enough...for ANYTHING! ANYTHIIIIIING! [Kageyama Tobio possesses a look that is a little insane, and proceeds to...beat at his chest? What the fuck? Did he actually beat at his fucking chest? (This is not Daichi Sawamura approved. Please cross check with reliable sources.)]

Y. Nishinoya: I daaaare YOU! To smack y/n's aaaaaaaass...hahah...ha.... [Nishinoya Yuu falls over to the side. He remains in slumber for the next thirty-two minutes.]

S. Hinata: Thaaaaaat...is CRAAAZY! Kaaaageyamaaaaa...are youuuuu! Gaaaaaame enoughhhhh!

[End of transcript #5]

Kageyama Tobio pushes himself off the ground at Hinata Shoyo and Nishinoya Yuu's provocations. He snickers to himself, and walks to the kitchen, where y/n is placing the two litre bottle of coke into the fridge. Kageyama Tobio proceeds to advance towards y/n, and smacks their behind, before…squeezing it? And then jiggling it in his- what the…fuck is going on? (This is not Daichi Sawamura approved, please cross check with reliable sources.) Y/n snaps around at the abrupt impact, and empties the contents of their cup onto Kageyama Tobio. It's a shame Nishinoya Yuu is too knocked out to witness what he has provoked. Sucks. The following commotion ensues between Kageyama Tobio, and y/n. Please note that parts of the conversation were inaudible from the truth or dare circle's location.

[Transcript #6- Provided by Tsukishima Kei, Yachi Hitoka, Hinata Shoyo, and Yamaguchi Tadashi]

Y/n: WHATTTTT the FUCK KAGEYAMA.

T. Kageyama: [inaudible]

Y/n: Oh...my fucking God! You are! Very drunk!

T. Kageyama: [Turns to the truth or dare circle.] TOOOLD YOU! I'M GAAAAAME ENOUGH! FOR AAAAAAAANYTHING!

Y/n: [inaudible]...NISHINOYA! [Y/n shoots a look towards the truth or dare circle. One of disdain. Contempt, even. In hindsight, the dare was much too inappropriate. Here is a reminder for everybody to apologise at the next available chance.]

T. Kageyama: Soooorry, [inaudible].

Y/n: [inaudible]...God, I should have never did it to you the first time. Not the place. Not! the place! [Y/n proceeds to grab Kageyama Tobio by the shoulders, turning him around. Kageyama Tobio is ushered into the bathroom, alongside y/n. Y/n shoots one more look at the truth or dare circle. Tsukishima Kei, as he writes this transcript, is beginning to understand Yachi Hitoka's slight fear of y/n. It's the side eye. They are definitely a little scary with the side eye.]

T. Kageyama: Ouuuuuu, the BAAAATHROOM! Thaaat's a firstttttt. [Kageyama Tobio wiggles his brows, and it's kind of creepy. Like when a guy is trying a little too hard to get laid, and is throwing every existing pickup line at you. Y/n smacks him in the side of his head, and pushes Kageyama Tobio into the bathroom. They slam the bathroom door shut and lock it. The two do not return until fifteen minutes later. It is unsure what occurred during that timeframe.]

[End of transcript #6]

When Kageyama Tobio and y/n return to the living room, it is approximately 10:12pm. Nishinoya Yuu is still asleep on the floor, and shows mild signs of...nevermind. Yachi Hitoka and Yamaguchi Tadashi have moved on to drunken karaoke. Hinata Shoyo and Tanaka Ryunosuke learn to do the Rasputin beside Nishinoya Yuu's unconscious body. Kageyama Tobio and y/n settle beside Yamaguchi Tadashi and Yachi Hitoka respectively, and pretend to be at a concert where the singers can barely remember their own lyrics and aren't sure what notes to hit. Tsukishima Kei wants to go home, but hasn't gathered a satisfactory amount of blackmail yet. Therefore, Tsukishima Kei stays the night. He passes out on the living room carpet at 12:03am.

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[Report #6- Initiated by Yamaguchi Tadashi and Hinata Shoyo]

Date of occurrence: March 30

Time of occurrence: 12:12am

Location of occurrence: Living room

Disclaimer: Any and all recounts made my Hinata Shoyo and Yamaguchi Tadashi from this point onwards may be liable to errors and inaccuracies. Since Tsukishima Kei made the disclaimer, the two believed they too were responsible for making one of their own. They admit that they were not responsible drinkers. They also admit that this will, undoubtedly, happen again.

12:12am is a time of silence. By this time, Tsukishima Kei has fallen asleep on the carpet, just beside Hinata Shoyo’s cruiser spill. He does not wake until 11:13am of March 30. Yachi Hitoka leaves the residence at approximately 11:30pm, alongside Tanaka Ryunosuke and Nishinoya Yuu, who are all picked up by Kiyoko Shimizu. Yamaguchi Tadashi and Hinata Shoyo are positioned at the kitchen counter, where they eat the graduation cake with their bare hands. At this point in time, Yamaguchi Tadashi has ceased all alcohol consumption, tapping out at two vodka redbulls, and two cream soda and vodkas in a 5:1 ratio. Hinata Shoyo, who has thrown up twice between this report and the last, has also ceased all alcohol consumption, tapping out at four vodka redbulls, one can of beer, and one vodka cruiser. Does cake work as a hangover cure? So sinful, so decadent…who gets to eat the happy graduation chocolate sign? Pay that no mind, for it is unimportant. What is of importance, is Kageyama Tobio and y/n’s current form.

Kageyama Tobio, who has tapped out after three cans of beer, two cans of Jack Daniels and coke, and an additional shot of pure vodka, stirs in his half slumber. This is no regular half slumber, but is one of intimacy, and of lovesick vulnerability, evident by his entire body splayed across y/n’s lap. At the time of this report, it is unsure whether y/n has consumed any amount of alcohol, but their sobriety is to be applauded regardless. (Please do not inform Kageyama Tobio of Hinata Shoyo’s comments on his character. Thanks.)

Y/n proceeds to bounce their leg twice, no, three times. Yes, three times is what it takes for Kageyama Tobio to stir awake. Hinata Shoyo and Yamaguchi Tadashi advance towards the couch at this moment, with the intention of smearing cake over Kageyama Tobio and y/n. However, upon entering the vicinity of the living room, the following conversation ensues between Kageyama Tobio, Hinata Shoyo, and y/n. Please be reminded that Hinata Shoyo and Yamaguchi Tadashi are both drunk out of their mind, and that the conversation was one of whispers. For that reason, any and all details of the transcript are liable to errors, redaction, and/or inaccuracies. Apologies for the inconvenience.

[Transcript #7- Provided by Hinata Shoyo and Yamaguchi Tadashi]

T. Kageyama: [inaudible]…leave?

Y/n: Do you? [inaudible]…car [inaudible]

T. Kageyama: I don’t [inaudible]…ow. [Kageyama Tobio rubs at his temples. Hinata Shoyo believes he is crying, but also don’t tell Kageyama Tobio he thinks that. (This is not Daichi Sawamura approved. Please cross check with reliable sources.)]

Y/n: Alright. Upsies now, I’ll drop you off. [Y/n pushes Kageyama Tobio’s body off of their lap. Kageyama Tobio whines. Hinata Shoyo is recording this entire ordeal, but there is frosting on the camera from fumbling for his phone with cake-covered hands. It is unclear who is speaking in the video, or what is happening, really.]

T. Kageyama: Drop me…offffffff? BUT I THOOOOOUGHT- [Y/n proceeds to punch Kageyama Tobio in the side, to which he doubles over. Kageyama Tobio begins to giggle uncontrollably on the ground.]

Y/n: Yes. I'm dropping you off, Tobio. Hinata? [Y/n turns to Hinata Shoyo, who throws his phone onto the ground upon being spotted. They leave the couch, and attempt to pull Kageyama Tobio to his feet. Kageyama Tobio is still giggling, and is unable to find his grounding.]

S. Hinata: Y-yeeeeeees...? [Why are they looking at Hinata Shoyo like that? No, seriously, he's getting scared thinking about it again as he writes this transcript.]

Y/n: I think I'll head out, Kageyama needs a drop off and I'm getting tired. This was fun! Thanks for holding the party, happy grad! I'll catch you around, yeah?

S. Hinata: Of COUUUUUUUUURSE...! Youuuu're NEVER! Getting rid of USSSSS!

Y/n: Yeah, of course. See you soon, Hinata. Good luck with the cleanup. [Y/n has finally managed to pull Kageyama Tobio to his feet. They yank Kageyama Tobio by the arm, and push him out the front door.]

[End of transcript #7]

At 12:15am, Kageyama Tobio and Y/n leave Hinata Shoyo's residence. Yamaguchi Tadashi, and Tsukishima Kei do not leave until the day of March 30.

▬▬▬▬▬▬▬

[Report #7- Initiated by Tsukishima Kei, Hinata Shoyo, Yamaguchi Tadashi]

Date of occurrence: March 30

Time of occurrence: 11:13am

Location of occurrence: Living room

Tsukishima Kei is the first to wake from the stench of the cruiser spill by his nose. God, fuck, everything hurts. Is this what death feels like? A hangover? Also, that spill? Foul, fucking rank. It comes as no surprise that vodka, steeped into the fuzz of an unwashed carpet, would undoubtedly stink. That is beside the point. Tsukishima Kei leaves the ground at the stench, and searches for his phone. He is afraid. He promised to be home by midnight. His brother is going to kill him. Following two minutes of mindless smacking at the ground, Tsukishima Kei finally finds his device. Upon closer inspection, however, the following conversation is shown on the phone.

[Transcript #8- Provided by Y/n]

Y/n: r u dead???? -1:02am

Y/n: hurry up i wanna sleep:( -1:02am

Y/n: im not hearing water istg if ur not showering im gonna fucking drown u babe i dunked SODA all over u -1:03am

Y/n: r u hearing me -1:05am

Y/n: kageyama tobio r u hearing me because i still am not hearing water from my bathroom -1:05am

Y/n: if you don't shower ur sleeping on the ground tn -1:07am

Y/n: tobio r u done omg hurry up i wanna sleep sb -1:27am

[4 missed calls from: Y/n]

[End of transcript #8]

Upon this discovery, Tsukishima Kei wakes Hinata Shoyo and Yamaguchi Tadashi, who sleep on the couch for the night. The three ruminate on their next course of action, before the phone rings. The following conversation ensues between Tsukishima Kei, and y/n. Hinata Shoyo and Yamaguchi Tadashi choose to act as bystanders.

[Transcript #9- Provided by Tsukishima Kei]

Y/n: ...Fuck.

K. Tsukishima: So.

Y/n: He dropped it while wrestling you, didn't he.

K. Tsukishima: ...We wrestled?

[End of transcript #9]

[Case Closed]

▬▬▬▬▬▬▬

bonus:

When you realise that Tobio's phone is MIA, he finally returns from your bathroom. Barely clothed, he shakes his head, and droplets of water come flying from his hair. His feet are heavy against the floor, and he isn't sure if he'll even make it to your bed at this rate, until you come darting out of your room, phone in hand.

"Tobio, where is your phone?"

"My phone?" His phone, it's in the bathroom, like it always is when he showers, right? Tobio grunts, annoyed at the extra return journey to the bathroom. He swipes at his T-shirt on the bathroom counter-right, that's where his shirt has gone. What meets his fingers is cold porcelain, and he frowns, pulling his shirt over his head.

"Not...here? Good question...where is it?"

You drag Tobio to your room, shutting the door behind you. When he spares no time to roll into your bed, blissfully unaware, you glare at him, and remind yourself that you do, in fact, love the guy. Even if he drunkenly slapped your ass in front of everybody four hours prior, forgot about your warnings and drank much too far past his limit, and has by now, probably outed your relationship to everyone at the party, despite keeping it perfectly hidden for over a year. Unfortunately, you remind yourself once again that you indeed, do love Kageyama Tobio, so this can wait. What is important now, is catching up on lost slumber, and forcing Tobio to join you.

Crawling into bed beside him, you finally melt into his arms for the first time tonight, away from the eyes of the Karasuno volleyball team. Tobio smiles, satisfied with the way that you're relaxing against him, instead of pushing him off and smacking his head. He inhales the scent of your shampoo, slips his hands beneath your shirt to hold your bare waist. This is comfortable. You are comfortable. Better than whatever he was on at that party.

"Oh well, who cares? You probably dropped it while wrestling with Tsukishima."

"...I wrestled Tsukishima?"

author's note:

I hope this is as fun to read as it was to write and i also hope it's actually good because it's so crack that there's not really any fluff until the bonus bit at the end BUT i'll come back with some proper butterfly inducing fluff and or angst soon!! love u all!!

tags!!

@chuuya-brainrot @staraxiaa @catsoupki @hiraethwa @laughingfcx @akaakeis @kuroppiii @tulip-room @wyrcan @wishi-selfships @fiannee @bailey-reeds @zzwon

ok thank u for waiting n reading love u all see u soon bye bye

[rottenpumpkin13]

Yo pumpkin pie, quick question: What was the Worst New Years Eve party on the SOLDIER floor?

( @izunias-meme-hole )

New Years Eve(ryone is insane)

• Shinra's annual New Year's Eve party is in full swing. Angeal and Sephiroth are sitting at a table, watching a group of Third Class SOLDIERs dive under the table and start eating their 12 grapes.

Angeal: People take their New Year's traditions so seriously. It's not like any of it actually changes anything. Progress is about the work you put in, not resolutions.

Sephiroth: Actually, I disagree. This year, I've decided to make a resolution and stick to it, starting tonight.

Angeal: Oh? What is it?

*Sephiroth grabs the plate in front of him, throws it frisbee-style across the room, and hits Kunsel in the back of the head*

Angeal: !

Sephiroth: That was part of it. Don't worry, it'll all make sense in the end.

Angeal: What does that mean??

Sephiroth: Oh, I can't say. I heard that if you state your resolution, it loses its power.

*A hand shoots out from under the table and grabs Angeal's leg. Angeal screams*

Genesis: Pass me the grape platter on the table.

Angeal: WHAT ARE YOU DOING??

Genesis, chewing: Eating grapes under the table for good luck.

*They lift the tablecloth. Genesis is under there with thousands of grapes like a doomsday hoarder*

Sephiroth: How many grapes do you have?

Genesis: One for each hour of the year, obviously. Why stop at one for every month when I can maximize my good luck?

Sephiroth: May I have a grape?

Genesis: Perish.

Sephiroth:

*Zack walks up to the table*

Zack: This New Year's Eve sucks. I can't find anyone to kiss me at midnight. Everyone's already paired up!

Sephiroth: Don't look at me. Affection goes directly against my New Year's resolution.

Angeal: That sentence makes me feel unsafe.

*Sephiroth stands up, walks over to Tseng and Rufus' table, pours a glass of champagne onto Tseng's plate, and walks back*

Genesis: You just made Tseng have a panic attack.

Sephiroth: It'll all make sense in the end.

*Sephiroth walks away*

Angeal: He's going to kill someone. I'd better follow him.

*Angeal gets up and chases after Sephiroth. Lazard walks by, dressed head-to-toe in a designer white suit*

Genesis: Director, you look fantastic.

Lazard: Thank you, Genesis. It's good luck to wear white on New Year's Eve, which is why I've gone all out.

*Genesis accidentally sneezes and the grapes he'd been eating sprays all over Lazard's suit*

Lazard: …

Zack: Director, will you make out with me at midnight?

Lazard: …

• Angeal and Sephiroth are walking around the party. They stop by the refreshments table, where Sephiroth takes a slice of cake and smashes it into a decorative ice sculpture. Angeal is terrified.

Angeal: Seph, please just tell me what your resolution is. I won't judge!

Sephiroth: For the last time, no. Your lack of faith in me is concerning.

Angeal: Your current behavior is concerning.

Sephiroth: It'll all make sense in the end.

*Cissnei walks by, Sephiroth stops her*

Cissnei: Hey guys!

Sephiroth: Angeal's charisma and charm are strictly limited to platonic friendships, which explains why he's perpetually awkward around women, and why he's still single and lonely.

Angeal: WHAT?

Cissnei: Uh, I—I just remembered I have to check on something. Nice seeing you!

*Cissnei quickly retreats as Angeal turns to Sephiroth*

Sephiroth: It'll all make sense in the end

Angeal: NO IT WON'T.

• Zack hit the peak of desperation and is now trying to flirt with Kunsel.

Zack: Come on, man. Midnight's almost here. Just one little kiss?

Kunsel: Sorry, buddy. I already promised to kiss someone else.

Zack: Who? Who could possibly top me as a kisser? Does all our years of friendship mean nothing to you? After everything we've been through together? People dream of kissing me! I'm practically SOLDIER's most eligible bachelor!

Kunsel: SOLDIER's most eligible bachelor just begged me for a pity kiss.

Zack: That's not pity! That's loyalty! And apparently, you don't have any! Now who could you possibly want to kiss over me!

*Darkstar comes padding over and licks Kunsel's hand*

Zack, sobbing: I HOPE YOU TWO WILL BE VERY HAPPY TOGETHER.

• While Angeal is busy wrestling an entire turkey from Sephiroth, who wants to throw it at Professor Hojo, Zack slumps back to the table, defeated. He starts venting to Genesis.

Zack: Maybe I should just give up. I'm never getting kissed at midnight.

*Genesis starts choking on a grape*

Genesis: !!!

Zack: I can't believe I have to sit here, alone, as the clock strikes twelve, watching all these people get their good luck kisses. It's so unfair.

Genesis, stil choking: !!!

Zack: Wait, you know what? That's a quitter's mentality, and I'm not a quitter!

Genesis, turning blue: !!!!

Zack: I'm gonna get back out there and try to find my midnight kiss.

Genesis, on the brink of death: ! ! ! ! !

Zack: Thanks, Genesis! You're a great listener.

*Zack pats him on the back, the grape flies out*

Genesis, completely fine: ….

• Zack goes back out to the party to try to find someone to kiss at midnight. Meanwhile, Angeal and Sephiroth return to the table. Genesis is still force-feeding himself grapes.

Angeal: Man, you're going to make yourself sick.

Genesis: Perhaps, but at least I'm not as bad as Zack, who's darting about like a lovesick puppy, chasing the faintest flicker of a midnight flame.

*Zack runs by, chasing Reno*

Zack: JUST KISS ME!

Reno: HELP!

*Lazard approaches, his designer suit is crisp and white again*

Sephiroth: Director, you've outdone yourself.

Angeal: You've never looked better.

*Genesis sneezes grape all over Lazard's suit*

Lazard: WHAT THE F—

• Everyone starts counting down. Zack is pacing nervously while the others gather around the table.

Zack: Now or never! One of you have to kiss me.

Angeal: I honestly wouldn't mind if you were anyone else. But considering that I'm your mentor, it'd be too weird.

Zack: What about you, Genesis?

*Genesis, sick from eating too many grapes, is slumped against the table*

Genesis: Ugh…

*Sephiroth grabs the decorative flower vase in the middle of the table, pours out the water, takes the flowers, and bites the arrangement*

Angeal: STOP THAT AND TELL ME YOUR RESOLUTION.

Sephiroth: Midnight's coming. Patience.

Zack: SOMEONE KISS ME ALREADY! I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE!

*Cloud suddenly appears out of nowhere, kisses Zack, and vanishes just as quickly*

Zack: ! <3 ? <3 ! <3 ?

*The whole party cheers and welcomes the new year*

Angeal: Sephiroth, for the love of Gaia, just tell me what your resolution is! Whatever it is, I won't judge you. You're my friend. I'll support you in whatever you wish to pursue. I'll even support you if it's something challenging. But please, trust me with your resolution.

Sephiroth: Oh, there is no resolution. I was just messing with you.

Angeal: SON OF A FUCKING BIRJWOJPOEIXBDFQSBDHWWD AWEDFGYHNKOJNBGV TGYHUJIDEMKHBGFTC G7YHUJIMKL

Sephiroth: I don't know what language that is, but don't insult my mother in it.

[og-doeiika]

Peroid sex with Micah, yea yea yea... We all heard of that... (Been done like... Idk... A whole 2 times, excluding me😅 not that common)

We have not considered the other aspects to this scenario! Have thou considered:

Micah reverse drawing, tearing off the plastic, and twirling two tampons with applicators in his hands. Once fully wielded he smashes the tampon applicators down with his thumbs and they shoot out!! They shoot out so fast- hitting its target!!! John Marston's head!!!!

Micah eating 2 rotisserie chickens barehanded instead of his normal 1. He needs protein

Micah has PCOS

He tried using tampons and found out he hates them. Now he has 2 whole boxes of them and he can't donate them or nothing...

Micah soaking tampons in lighter fluid as a method to start a fire. The string is lit first like the fuse of a tnt stick

As a teenager, Micah googled if he could boil nails in water as a substitute for taking iron supplements

Micah freebled 25% of the time in his teens because his daddy couldn't afford (forgot) to buy him menstruation products

His peroids got heavier with age but on hrt he stopped menstruating 🎉

Micah has fallen asleep on the bathroom floor

Doritos and grocery store cake cups are his comfort foods. Warm potato chowder is another

His chest gets tender 😔

[trashytoastboi]

🍄Trafalgar Law Masterlist🍄

Part 2

🍄 Headcanons: X-Drake, Law, Luffy with S/O making a wish on a shooting star 

🍄 Headcanons: Law, Ace teasing an easily flustered S/O until they turn the tables

🍄 Scenario: Modern AU! x Mafia AU! – Mafia Boss! Law x F! Ex-Military! Reader. – A ‘Friendly’ Visitation 

🍄 Headcanons: Luffy, Law, Kid x S/O – who has a split sleeping schedule.

🍄 Scenario: Law x F! S/O – A Just Kind of Revenge

🍄 NSFW Scenario: Law x F! S/O x Doflamingo – Anything You Can Do, I Can Do Better

🍄 Headcanons: Law, Kid, Sabo, X-Drake x Friend! Reader who has the Friend’s Power ability. 

🍄 Headcanons: Sabo, Hawkins, Doflamingo, Law x S/O that likes Junji Ito Manga

🍄 Headcanons: Pregnancy and Parental for Kid, Law x F! S/O

🍄 Headcanons: Law, Kid, Zoro x S/O who has given them a really sweet nickname

🍄 Scenario: Modern AU! Law x F! S/O - Want to Smash?

🍄 Headcanons: Doflamingo, Corazon, Law, Kid x S/O who was “killed” by the World Government

🍄 Headcannons: Sabo, Law, Luffy x S/O - Reaction to their S/O picking up a magical lamp

🍄 Headcanons: Law, X-Drake, Sanji, Ace x Shy! S/O that loves affection

🍄 Scenario: Law + Zoro x F! Keyblade Wielder – Listen to Your Heart

🍄 Headcanons: Law, Zoro, Sanji - Reaction to Seeing M! Reader and F! Reader throwing pick up lines at each other 

🍄 Headcanons: SFW and NSFW First times with Law

🍄 NSFW Headcanons: Law, Sabo, Ace x Shy! F! S/O who has a size difference kink 

🍄 NSFWish Headcanons: Law, Zoro, Ace x F! S/O – Having an argument and ‘making it up’ to her 

🍄 Headcanons: Law, Kid, Marco, Zoro x Short! Male! Crewmate who hides his injury after a fight and collapses as a result

🍄 NSFW Headcanons: Crocodile, Luffy, Kid, Law x S/O - First time with their partner who is afraid of being touched and having sex due to their past as a slave

🍄 Headcanons: Marco, Law x Drunk! Reader – Having to take care of their partner

🍄 NSFW Headcanons: Dom! Law, Dom! Mihawk, Dom! Katakuri x Sub! F! S/O – In subspace

🍄 Scenario: Law and Kid x Shy! Goth! Pirate – Chance Encounters

🍄 Headcanons: Law, Zoro, Crocodile, Luffy x Shy! Deaf! Male! S/O

🍄 Headcanons: Platonic/Parental relationship between Law and Corazon’s S/O – Before and after his death.

🍄 NSFW Scenario: ABO AU! Alpha! Soft Dom! Law x F! Omega! Shy Sub! S/O - #1. Your scent is intoxicating

🍄 Headcanons: Law, Kid x Male! S/O who avoids emotional talks and conflict, but lately his self destructive thoughts lead him to seek comfort from his partner

🍄 Scenario: Law x Straw-Hat! Crush – A Much Needed Nap

🍄 Headcanons: Modern AU! North Blue Boys – Sanji, Law, Hawkins, X-Drake - Running a coffee shop

🍄 Headcanons: Law x S/O – Who has been shrunk down to the size of a doll

🍄 Headcanons: Ace, Sabo, Luffy, Usopp, Law, Kid x Male! S/O is usually bright and loud but he had a bad day and needs some comfort

🍄 Headcanons: Kid, Law, Shanks, Luffy x S/O - Walking in on their partner “confessing” to their vice captain 

🍄 Headcanons: Law and Ace’s reaction to finding out their S/O secretly has a thing for tattoos. 

🍄 Headcanons: Kid, Zoro, Law x S/O - Hiding an engagement ring in cake to propose to their partner

🍄 Headcanons: Alpha! Marco, Alpha! Law, Alpha! Katakuri x Omega! S/O - Courting

🍄 Headcanons: Beta! Ace, Law, X-Drake x Beta! S/O - #2. “You’ll make a wonderful parent”

🍄 Headcanons: Kid, Law, Zoro x Stowaway! Reader - Escaping and hiding from Dr. Vegapunk 

🍄 Headcanons: Law, Kid, Ace wanting Reader to join their crew

🍄 Headcanons: Doflamingo, Law, Smoker x Blind! S/O that wants to know what they look like by feeling their face

🍄 Headcanons (Slightly NSFW) – Killer, Law, Zoro what they think about their S/O having nipple piercings.

🍄 Headcanons: Law x Shy! F! S/O – Trying to seduce her lover

🍄 Headcanons: Hawkins, Law, Kid, Killer x Male! S/O – Reacting to seeing their S/O’s face for the first time

🍄 Headcanons: Zoro, Ace, Law confessing their love to Straw-Hat! Reader

[lifafazkids1]

Are you a photographer and looking for the best editing tips on Cake smash shoot photos? If yes, you are at the right place. Here is a complete guide on what tips to follow to get the best-quality pictures.

[fandomluver-101]

Revisiting Prey with a few friends, one being someone that played it at the same time I did. And he pointed something out to me that I hadn't thought much of. Just a difference in how we play, observe what we play, so on. We like the same things, but it is kinda interesting.

Spoilers for Prey 2015 btw

The first time I played Prey, the moment you break the glass of your balcony only to reveal a testing site, I knew Morgan wasn't a person. Like, Morgan IS a person, but we are not actually playing Morgan or even a "real" human. Why else would the scientists be so confused about a human hiding behind a chair? When we have these mimics that turn into chairs and mugs to hide?

I love games like this and I love twists like that too. But I'm also the kind of gamer that is hyperaware, reads everything, smashes everything, so on and so on. My friend told me I didn't necessarily ruin it for him, but he hadn't expected it to be right to an extent (I originally thought our character was JUST a Typhon that somehow evolved or likely tried to consume the real Morgan). Whatever the game told him that didn't require reading, he went with it right up to the end.

And yes, you learn that Morgan Yu was experimenting on himself. Yes, you get an explanation for your amnesia. However, Morgan's experimenting was NOT known to ANYONE besides his brother and the Neuromod AI versions he made of himself. Supposedly, because the actual ending and additional twist that I had NOT thought was coming (like, the game lies, but must it lie so much?).

Besides that, we've been talking about how differently we play games. If I don't have to kill, chances are I won't. If I do have to kill, chances are I will rationalize it. Any game that gives me the choice or has the choice, that's how I play. My friend, however, plays any game like a shoot 'em up. When I finished the game, I got the best ending and only killed ONE person (that the game didn't count, as it should not because dude was horrid). My friend, however, killed everyone he COULD kill with little thought.

We play the same games, yet have completely different experiences. Dishonored would be a better example of that because honestly? I killed no one save the targets, mainly because the "mercy" offered seemed far worse than death, I didn't steal off people, and the final stage was a cake walk. He killed everyone, stole from everyone, completed any quest given to him, stole from even the lady starving herself so she could feed her kids (was the 6 coins worth it dude), and the final stage was a NIGHTMARE.

Just some musings.

[dumskullexpress]

I don’t usually make these but uhhh

🍾🥤💥Madness Combat: Restaurant Etiquette Edition🔥🍔🍖

From order of best to worst.

AUDITOR

Physically incapable of leaving a mess

Orders most expensive meal available

Knows how to use a fork and knife

Wears a bib and a puts a napkin on their lap

Offers critique to the chef directly

Invests in the local business

Pays in full

Leaves a $100 tip

JEBUS

Orders something small but modest

Keeps cutlery neat and tidy on the table

Cleans up after himself

Compliments the chef, waiters, and dishwashers

Pays in full

Leaves a generous tip

SANFORD

Orders the spiciest option available

Chats up the waiter

Tries not to leave too much of a mess

Stacks the dirty plates

Has desert

Pays in full

Might leave a tip

DOC

Orders whatever looks good

On his phone most of the time

Not really involved with the restaurant staff

Wipes crumbs onto the floor

Pays in full

Doesn’t tip

DEIMOS

Orders the weirdest or grossest food on the menu

Stabs everything with a fork, spoons are for pussies

Chews with his mouth open

Smokes in the restaurant despite no-smoking signs

Trash EVERYWHERE

Didn’t bring his wallet

Pays in pennies, or forgets to pay entirely

Forgets to tip

TRICKY

Gets junk food

Uses his hands, completely ignoring the utensils

Screams at the staff

Staff is too terrified to oppose him

50/50 chance pays in Chuck-E-Cheese tokens or sets the restaurant on fire.

Murders a customer on the way out

Leaves a tip

and last but not least...

HANK

Doesn’t order, just grabs a random customer’s meal and swallows it whole

Doesn’t chew

Drinks directly from the soda dispenser

Smashes kid’s birthday cake

Shoots the waiter when asked to leave

Uses a hostage as a meat shield when law enforcement arrives

Throws a grenade into the kitchen

Massacre

Steals money from the register

Leaves

Doesn’t tip

Honorable mentions:

MAG Agent Torture

Accidentally squishes the waiter when ordering

Too big to fit inside

Has to order 20 different meals

Agency pays for damages

Church and Jorge

Orders biggest thing on the menu

“I’ll have what he’s having.”

Has a food fight

Leaves without paying

Phobos

Smites the waiter for addressing him as “sir” and not “god-emperor”

Won’t eat food that doesn’t meet his standards

Expects the entire restaurant (including customers) to kowtow before him

“What do you mean the meal isn’t free?! I demand to see this ‘MANAGER’ of yours.”

Gestalt

He fucking eats you

So yeah! Those are my silly restaurant hcs! :D

[milky-fixx]

day 8, joseph joestar: foodplay

kinktobruary day 8

joseph joestar (part 2) x reader // jojo's bizzare adventure

summary: You bake a cake with Joseph. He has ideas for what you could be doing with one of the ingredients instead.

tw/cws: 18+ only, foodplay, kitchen sex, sex on the counter, joseph's filthy mouth and even filthier puns

word count: 1.2K

“Crack the eggs and separate the yolk from the white…. What the hell is the use of that?”

You can’t help but grin at Joseph’s utter frustration with the cookbook, and his subsequent yell when he cracks the whole egg into the batter, shell and all.

“Here, let me help.”

He pouts. “Whoever wrote this is some kind of whackjob. Some grandma with gizmos and one eye, probably. How do you even separate eggs?! What does this have to do with baking a cake?”

Through laughter, you grab his hands. “Relax, I’ll show you.”

As you crack an egg before carefully sifting the two halves, from one shell to another, Joseph whistles appreciatively. “Reminds me of how you handle another pair of balls—” His hands begin trailing up your apron.

“Aaand it’s time to make the batter,” you say, whirling around to grab the ingredients, and evading his grasp. 

He frowns as you edge away from him, but his eyes alight once he sees a bowl on the counter. 

“Baby, what’s this?”

“It’s the whipped cream, Joseph—”

He flicks some onto you, and it lands on your nose. His finger dips back into the bowl, bringing it to his lips before swirling his tongue around it. “Delicious.”

“But I think you taste sweeter,” he says, bridging the gap between you two as his tongue darts out to lick the cream off your nose. You grimace.

“Gross. You better have washed those hands.”

“All the time, baby! I’m the epitome of hygiene.” He grins. 

While it seems Joseph has a preoccupation with any kind of baking ingredient that allows him to maximize innuendos, you slide the bowl away from, ducking under his outstretched arm before placing it on your side of the kitchen counter. As you begin mixing together the ingredients for the cake batter, Joseph stays oddly quiet. You glance up to find him staring at you with a thoughtful expression. 

“Look, baby, don’t take this the wrong way but…” He nudges himself between you and the bowl, ducking to avoid your swat to his shoulder. He shoots you a devilish grin. “I’d much rather see you play with a different kind of cream.”

He lifts you onto the counter amid your protests, and then his lips are on yours, unyielding and excitable. When your kiss breaks, your hands darts to the bowl of whipped cream next to you before smearing some on his lips.

He blinks, stunned. “Babe, what the hell—“

And then you’re darting forward to lick up the whipped cream, your tongue laving across his pouted lips. A devious smirk soon forms on Joseph’s face, as he grabbed some more of the cream, before chucking it at your apron.

“Whoops, babe,” he says, sounding not the slightest bit remorseful. “Guess you’ll have to take that off.”

He takes great pleasure in stripping your apron from you, leaving you clad in only a sheer tank top and loose pants. Joseph throws it to the floor before swiping more whipped cream, and smearing it over your clothed nipples. Your gasp turns into a yelp as his tongue comes out to lick them clean. His saliva permeates through the thin fabric of your shirt, and soon his tongue is flicking at your hardened peaks before his lips close around them to suck. 

You moan, and Joseph stops to grin. He makes a show of smacking his lips together. “It’s good... but I bet it’s even more delicious served raw.” He waggles his brows at you, his hands coming up to grope your breasts.

“JoJo!”

He yanks your top down until the hem of your shirt sits right under breasts, and then he gets to work licking all over your exposed flesh. You tilt your head back, moans coming unbidden from your lips. 

You grab a fistful of his hair and tug, urging him closer. When he stops his ministrations to come up for air, you smash your lips against his. Your hands drop to his crop top and tug impatiently at the hem.

“Oh?” He grins, breaking the kiss. “Does my little chef want to see more of my rippling physique?”

“JoJo, just shut up and strip.” You roll your eyes. 

“As you command,” he mocks. When he’s shirtless, you grab a fistful of whipped cream and spread it around his pecs, then your tongue is at work as well. Joseph isn’t the biggest fan of nipple play, but he had to admit that the way your tongue, hot and wet and bold, maps out the planes of his body… He groans when your skillful tongue flicks his pebbled nipple, his dick straining in his pants. 

Joseph is everything but patient, however, as he eventually starts yanking at your leggings, before shucking off his own pants and boxers. His cock juts out impressively, and he presses it against you, warm and heavy against your thigh.

“I think it’s time I entered your oven.”

“JoJo, are you serious—“

And then he thrusts into you, and your words trail off into a choke.

“Fuck, I bet you’re even warmer than that oven,” he grunts.

“Joseph—” You want to admonish him for his awful jokes, but it’s frankly difficult to considering the amount of manmeat he was currently pumping into you. What Joseph lacks in finesse he certainly doesn’t lack in enthusiasm. His thrusts are earnest in their vigor, and when he reaches down to fumble with your clit, your tingling pleasure builds to a rolling simmer. 

Your gaze darts to the whipped cream. Knowing Joseph is a visual creature, you don’t mind helping him along. You grab a handful, streaking the cream down your chest towards your navel. Joseph’s gaze follows the path like a dog, groaning when he sees your creamy hands trail up to fondle your breast, the thick white substance smearing over your chest. 

He’s cursing now. “Fuck, (Y/N), fuck—that’s hot.”

“Joseph….” You give him your best half-lidded look. “I want your cream… all over me.”

His pace increases, the slap of his thrusts melding with the squelchof your dripping arousal. His back hunched over, a litany of curses stream out of him.

“Y-yeah?” He swallows roughly. “Where do you want it, baby?”

“Mm, inside. I want to feel you finish inside of me.” 

“Fuck, I’m gonna give you all my cream. Fuck. Enjoy—” He grunts, dragging his cock along your walls as he unleashes hot jets of his spend inside you. You moan at the sensation, Joseph’s thick, clumsy fingers increasing their pressure on your nub as you sporadically clench around him. He watches you unravel before him with keen eyes, his fingers unceasing in their attack, and it takes your hand clamping over his with a weak plea before he stops. Grinning, he places a kiss on your forehead before pulling out of you, cum dripping out from how much he’s stuffed you with. He eyes it suggestively.

“I think we should make our own cookbook instead, don’t you think?”

You laugh breathlessly once you can catch your breath. “...Yeah? And what would we call it?”

“Joseph Joestar’s Guide to Cream-Filled Desserts.”

This time, you do manage to swat his shoulder. He chortles. “Maybe I’ll get rich off of it!”

[pensymbols]

thinking abt how the tweels remind and bring azul food to ensure he doesnt skip meals and how they smash cake into his face/waking him up at exactly 12 am on his birthdays and how they constantly shoot down any false rumors about azuls that undermines him and how