#cailan was about to fuck things up royally

[inquisitorismone]

since i can't stop thinking about ferelden politics, the idea that cailan was going to leave anora for empress celene is so insane on so many levels, the first of which being that celene is older than anora, the second of which being if the KING OF FERELDEN married the EMPRESS OF ORLAIS then. frankly. the people really WOULD HAVE supported loghain's betrayal of cailan

[queenofeden]

See, that's the thing about Ostagar though, is that the entire strategy that they're operating on the whole time is a direct result of Cailan's hubris. It always is and was, and the game makes no secret of that.

Loghain has been the commander of the army and its chief strategist since Maric was alive, and unfortunately much like Captain Smith of the Titanic, all those years of experience end up working against him here. It's stated that both Duncan and Loghain repeatedly have tried to reason with Cailan and get him to do exactly what you've postulated would be best: wait for reinforcements and hold the line. Unfortunately, those reinforcements aren't coming because at least half to 2/3ds of Highever's army was left behind and what's left has been rendered commander-less because Fergus was already lost to the darkspawn earlier, which is terrible for morale. Howe clearly never intended on bringing Amaranthine's rallied army to Ostagar and only used that as an excuse to bring his men into Highever and invade, and Duncan has already been to Redcliffe to ask after Eamon's forces and been told that they won't arrive for a week at best (because he's already been poisoned but nobody will tell Duncan that.)

Barring that, their only option for additional support is coming from Orlais, which, if Loghain has one serious fault in judgement it is his extreme prejudice against Orlesian, and therefore also additional Grey Warden, relief -- which honestly I can't even blame him for in retrospect given what we see of Gaspard's plot from Asunder up through DAI that does in fact expose the fact that a vast majority of the Orlesian army and nobility Does want to take Ferelden back by any means necessary but REGARDLESS --

The slap-dash "strategy" employed at Ostagar is canonically a shoddy compromise that Loghain has had to come up with in order to make the best of of the spot between a rock and a hard place -- either wait for Fereldan allies, which Cailan is not willing to do, or wait for Orlais to come, which Loghain is not willing to do, and which Cailan obviously doesn't want to do either because even his gossipy guard admits that Cailan wants to end the blight himself in a Huge Battle That Will Be Remembered For Ages, but that's basically the ultimatum he gave -- that they've put themselves in, on top of the fact that Cailan will just do whatever the hell he wants regardless of what good ideas Loghain might have purely because, You're Not My Real Dad, Loghain!!

So yes, in a pinch, to serve Cailan's appeal for a Fight in the best way he can while also trying to take advantage of Ostagar's natural defenses, Loghain organizes the quasi hammer and anvil maneuver they attempt to enact, with the wardens and the army's best at the front to act as Bait, and himself and his reserve as the ambush with The Warden and Alistair to then light the beacon for the charge.

Obviously, we know that this did not work out, but I would argue that it wasn't necessarily due to lack of trying or good planning on the royal army's side. It could have been a good strategy, and an effective one, if the darkspawn were even remotely anything they were prepared for, least of all because I can guarantee that none of those earlier battles and skirmishes they won had any ogres. Your anvil can only stand for so long against a fucking tank, let alone multiple tanks and also an entire cavalry charge that runs amok, does not die like humans do, and completely defies the expectations any seasoned commander would have for an enemy, both in brute strength and predictability, especially without the archdemon there to organize them.

By the time the beacon went off -- at significant delay, we know, and it was time for the "hammer" to fall, it was too fucking late. And Loghain knew that. He knew that I think long before Cailan actually even fell, but sometimes there's only so much you can do to stop a train from crashing. You either die, or get out of the way. Or, you do some big, stupid An Hero shit that might pay off but probably won't, and Loghain absolutely knows that because he did do that with Rowan during the Battle of West Hill to save Maric's life, and that decision not only got queen Rowan's father killed, but also Maric turned around after and literally told him:

"If both of you had been where you were supposed to be, maybe we might have won. Maybe you could have pulled your men out in time, and you would be in Gwaren right now."

He then forced Loghain to promise him that if it ever came down between saving him and doing what was best for Ferelden again, that he would chose Ferelden. Which, regardless of anyone's personal or in-game feelings about his motivations or him as a character, Loghain did in fact do. Even if they had managed to route that particular attack successfully, the royal army would have been so decimated it never would have stood a chance against the archdemon. It turned into a bloodbath even without that, regardless of whether Loghain believed it was an actual blight or not. He's got everything working against him doing his job effectively, and the one chance he has to do the right thing will get demonized. You can't win for losing in a situation like that, the odds were just never in Ferelden's favor no matter which way you slice it.

We Will Hold the... Charge?

I've spent a fairly, perhaps unreasonably, long time being deeply perplexed by the Battle of Ostagar. The human forces are both on the defensive and defensively positioned, while the darkspawn are obviously on the attack, yet dialogue consistently treats preparation for the battle as preparation for an attack on the darkspawn—even though it is the human forces who are camped in a clear location, and the darkspawn who can emerge from the wilds to battle at will.

Stating the obvious, maybe, but I'm also excited to have finally figured myself back around where things make sense:

The Battle of Ostagar is not the first battle of the Blight.

Duncan and Cailan both refer to previous "skirmishes" against the darkspawn. It appears at first that these may be fights against scouting bands in the Wilds, but Cailan specifically mentions participating in several victories—the teams in the Wilds have had a much harder time. Rather, the darkspawn must have emerged from the Wilds previously, lacking the numbers they have built up by the final engagement, and failed to break through the human defenses.

(This adds additional flavor to the fearful soldier in the cutscene—it's not the sight of darkspawn at a great distance that's so intimidating, but how damned many there were.)

2. Duncan's return changes Cailan's calculations.

The king is in high spirits when Duncan returns with The Warden, eagerly anticipating a heroic charge against the darkspawn. Part of this is immature hero worship and glory-seeking, but there are also widespread indications of fatigue, mounting casualties, and growing morale problems; "holding the line" with no end in sight isn't going to work for much longer.

So: the royal army may have been positioned defensively during his absence, but with Warden-Commander Duncan at the king's side, it is time to seize the day (and his army's flagging morale) and cast down the darkspawn once and for all!

(Loghain, as Rendon Howe's patron, etc., etc., has his own reasons to abide by this reversal; Cailan explicitly refers to the battle plan as Loghain's strategy.)

3. Duncan urges patience and asks after the archdemon.

Duncan questions Loghain's plan twice: urging Cailan to wait for Arl Eamon—not knowing he has, most likely, already been poisoned—or for more Grey Wardens, and then asking what contingencies exist if the archdemon appears. Both approaches aim, unsuccessfully, to alter the strategy's implementation to make it effective: delaying a decisive engagement is bad strategy against the horde, but the only way to ensure the army's survival until the archdemon actually appears.

But neither Cailan nor Loghain knows (nor would Loghain likely believe Duncan) about the archdemon, so from the non-Warden/generally ignorant viewpoint the best option—with morale declining and the horde growing every day—is to counterattack and force a decisive battle. They can choose this battle because the darkspawn attack the human defensive positions semi-regularly; it is merely a question of picking the attack to counter.

TLDR: No, CuChu, the army did take advantage of their positioning. They just stopped doing that, for reasons unique to each decision-maker, right on time for it to be the worst possible decision.

Of course, Cailan's charge is still a foolhardy and unnecessary risk, but it's something he could coherently insist on in contrast to the previous battle plan, and which Loghain has every reason to agree to.

[gaming-thoughts-by-an-idiot]

Dragon age origins: Human Warrior

"I've never had this many evil choices during dialog... being human is terrible"

[Return to ostagar DLC]

"I was thinking 'why haven't I played this last time' and then I remembered this is a dlc"

"I hate that I cant log online on origins"

"Stop showing me flashbacks to the battle, I was there ish"

"I wish we could've found Duncan, and burned him too :( "

"What the fuck do you mean you 'disagree', Morrigan? Da heck is wrong with you"

"Omg the deserter prisoner is still in his cage"

[DLC done]

"Why was there just a drake wandering out here?"

"Oh my god, stopped again? Ugh"

"Yeeesss bleed out"

"Does all these spider webs remind me of the hobbit or Harry Potter? Both? Both."

"Killed the werewolves, got a random thing for a dalish woman put hunting for random werewolves... alright then"

"I want to tattoo the Grand Oak on me, with the stupid rhyming tree joke"

"I love him so much, ugh"

"I read a letter to the king from Arl Eamon, and he said that Anora was like 30 and getting too old for having kids, and that he should find a new wife to have kids with like- yooo wtf"

"Having Shale and Sten in the same party is so weird"

"dWARVEN CRAFT- buy dwARVEN CRAFT- direct from Orzammar... you wont find better"

"Meeting Alistair's sister, let's goo"

"Save first, always save first"

"Fun fact, his mom is actually an elf, was a warden, got cured, and then we meet her in Inquisition"

"UM?? ALISTAIR IS JUST LIKE, HES GONNA ASK ME SOMETHING WHAT"

"NERVOUS???? SIR WHAT??? AAAAA, YOOO IM MAKING HIM LIKE, UNABLE TO EXIST CUZ IM SO PRETTY OMG"

"Oh wow, the options are so good:

1. Oh? Thanks a lot.

2. Pull yourself together, will you?

3. That's very sweet.

4 I feel the same way

Like??? What's up with these replies??? Being human SUCKS"

"Nr 4"

"I'm such a catch- AAA HE LOVES ME SO MUCH, IM DYING"

"-but you're gonna be king :( - she says, as if that's not the end goal"

"I DO NOT WANT TO BREAK UP, BABY NO-"

"Saving saving saving, and then talk to him again"

"I've played 34 hours, damn"

"I named my human warrior for Anna, cuz it sounds like a royal name"

"??? ANOTHER SERIOUS CONVO??? SIR-"

"A HAJAHXGAKNAJAJAJSHSHAHHAHAKSKAKALA????? I FUCK I HI AHDBAKAHAHDKAB OKAY OKAY OKAY SIR ALRIGHTY MAN ALRIGHT HEY SO HM"

"Okay, okay, I'm calming downnnnnnnnnnn... okay phew ok, so, I was like '??excuse I am just a friend' but then the fucker dropped 'and I... love you' BITCH, SIR, MY HEARRRTTT"

"HE WENT FROM "your wish is my command" TYPE OF GREETING, AND NOW??? WE ARE FUCKING GOOD, HE JUST SAID 'SOMETHING YOU NEED, MY DEAR' HE CALLED ME DEAR, BITCH ITS LIKE WE'RE MARRIED AAAA LOVE THISSS"

"Kissing him<3"

"I'm not saying I don't love Zevran, but like 🥺"

"Saving saving, in case I say something bad"

Anna: Where do u see this going between us?

Alistair: Idk, but maybe if I'm king? Maybe we have to stop :( but I dont wanna think about it

Anna: I'll never let u go, bitch

Alistair: I sure fucking hope not

"More or less what happened"

"Let's go to bed, bby"

"Sten gets all of Cailan's armour"

Anna: its either YOU or ME, and it isnt gonna be me!

*whenever we approach danger*

Anna: my warden senses are tingling

"Being human is so weird"

"Remember to pickpocket your targets before killing them, that's how you get coin"

"Omg, I stabbed him in the throat, it went through, whoa"

"I asked Sten to knock someone out and he started to evil laugh, wtff"

Anna, fighting a thug: is it just me, or do you really think you have a chance?

"Damn, who is she"

"I accept all jobs, I dont care who or what I do, give me money"

"Wait, I'm of high ups blood, I should behave..... moneiiii"

"I just threatened the dude who stole Sten's sword, basically just 'break his bones' like damn"

"Doing the mage quest last"

[braincoins]

“But Socks!” you, as the convenient strawperson, exclaim, “as much as I’d love to read your Dragon Age stuff, I’ve never played Origins and/or Awakening! I don’t really know anything about Grey Wardens or the events of those games!”

Well all you had to do was ask, Convenient Strawperson-chan! ^_^ I know Grey Wardens play some small part in DA:I, which seems to be the game most people have played, but I’ll just start from the beginning. I’ll also be including personal headcanons that come up in Dragon Age: Schism, though I will mark them as such.

Under a cut for the sake of people’s dashes. Consider this a first post in a series. (I’ll answer questions that non-strawpeople want to ask, too!)

So, really now, what is a Grey Warden? Well, that depends on who you ask. To most people outside the order, the Grey Wardens are a glorious order of noble heroes! And why is that? Well, they’re immune to the darkspawn taint (which usually kills people) and so they can safely slay darkspawn! They’re also the only ones who can stop Blights!! ...though this last bit of information is often forgotten, given that Blights happen once every few centuries. 

If you ask me, the Grey Wardens are the biggest dick move in Thedas, which is actually part of why I love them. Here’s all the downsides to joining this “glorious order”: 

First of all, the Right of Conscription. Ferelden has it; not sure if other nations in Thedas do? Anyway, it means that Grey Wardens can recruit anyone at any time. In practice, they have to be careful how they wield this tool (especially in Ferelden), but the RoC has been used to save people from hangings or other deadly fates... on the condition that they become a Warden Recruit. So... didn’t want to be Warden Recruit? TOO BAD, YOU ARE NOW. And no, you don’t get a say in the RoC. 

Second of all, there’s the Joining. It turns out that, in order to become a Grey Warden, you have to drink darkspawn blood. And a bunch of other stuff in there, but really now, DRINKING DARKSPAWN BLOOD. You might recognize this as a stupidly dangerous thing to do, given that darkspawn blood KILLS THINGS. But your options are drink it or die, because the Grey Wardens present at the Joining will kill you if you try to back out after learning about this. If you drink from the Joining chalice, you also might die, but your name will be remembered as a Grey Warden at least? Even though you’re dead. And hey, if you live, you... become “immune” to the darkspawn taint, which is to say you’re already fucking tainted so it’s not like it can get worse. Want to know why the Grey Wardens don’t tell people they’re gonna make them drink darkspawn blood? Well, if they did that, people wouldn’t want to join, and we need Grey Wardens. 

Supposing you survive the Joining, there’s the shortened lifespan (10-30 years depending on your sources; my headcanon is just straight up 10-ish years) and the nightmares (that maybe you can learn to tune out). Again, they don’t tell you this until afterwards. Why? Because then people might not want to become Grey Wardens... yadda yadda.

Oh, and forget about having kids! It’s very difficult if not impossible to have children as a Grey Warden! 

At some point, even if you were able to tune the nightmares out, they’ll come back and there’ll be nothing you can do about it. That’s the first sign of The Calling. Because it turns out that the Joining is really just turning you into a ghoul, except very, very slowly. You’re getting close to Ghoul-dom now. Most Grey Wardens choose to die in battle against the darkspawn rather than waiting to be turned. It’s tradition. 

And if there’s a Blight going on? Oh, well, it turns out that the only way to kill an Archdemon is to sacrifice a Grey Warden. Why didn’t they tell you? DO YOU EVEN HAVE TO ASK NOW?!

The motto of the Grey Wardens is “In war, victory. In peace, vigilance. In death, sacrifice.” 

So what I’m saying is that Grey Wardens are SUPER TRAGIC BADASSES. They also wind up pretty cut off from their former lives, so the Wardens become their family. So, basically, SUPER TRAGIC BADASS FOUND FAMILY. I really don’t see how I was not supposed to love them immediately. 

They still have this reputation of “glory” and all that, but so many of their recruits were thieves or ne’er-do-wells saved from the gallows by the RoC. If you look at just the Wardens we have at the end of Awakening (and this is my list, i.e., the Wardens we have in Dragon Age: Schism):

The Warden (aka the Player Character): the Hero of Ferelden, but may have come from questionable backgrounds, depending on the origin you picked. Duncan might even have had to RoC you. If nothing else, much of Ferelden believed Loghain’s lies that the Wardens were traitors and murderers of beloved King Cailan, and that’s a hard thing to come out from under. In the case of Kivral, she’s a Dalish elf, and elves are... not exactly much beloved, the Dalish even less so, as they’re often painted as “savages.” 

Alistair: King Cailan’s half-brother, thanks to their father, King Maric, getting a little something in on the side (”You’re not just a bastard, you’re a royal bastard?”). Kivral didn’t put him on the throne, but you can if you want in your game. In any case, despite being the most experienced Warden in the group (he Joined six months before the PC), he prefers to follow and let the PC lead. Also in love with Kivral (again: my choice; you can romance someone else in your game), who’s head over heels for him. His mere existence is a threat to the throne. 

Nathaniel Howe: Son of Arl Rendon Howe, who backed Loghain and was, in pretty much all ways, a motherfucking asshole. Nate shows up trying to steal shit from the keep Queen Anora granted the Wardens, even though he insists he wasn’t stealing because it’s his stuff. The seneschal at the time wants to hang him. Kivral decided he’d undergo the Joining instead. Along the way, Nate learns about his father’s actions, comes to accept that, yes, his father was a sonuvabitch, and even pays special attention to non-noble/non-human companions, learning about the privilege he’s had most of his life.

Anders: When you first meet Anders, he’s surrounded by dead Templars and dead darkspawn. He swears forwards and backwards that the darkspawn killed the Templars and then he killed the darkspawn. REALLY. Even though he had run away from the Circle and was being hauled back there by those same Templars. In fact, a Templar shows up and wants to drag him off, but you can call RoC and recruit him instead. And also give him a kitten. 

Velanna: Dalish mage exiled from her clan, even though she was the Keeper’s first - i.e., in line to be the next Keeper. She’s trying to find her sister, and that’s the only reason she signs on with you. HATES HUMANS. HAAAAAAAATES HUMANS. SO FUCKING MUCH. HATES THEM. Not exactly a “people person.” Like, at all.

Sigrun: Casteless dwarf who joined THE LEGION OF THE DEAD. In other words, a fucking badass already. But she’s also this adorable ray of sunshine? Like... her life sucked so she made the choice to consider herself already dead and then you can get her to join the Wardens who are basically Dead People Walking, just on the surface. 

Oghren: One of your companions from Origins. A drunken, lecherous pervert of a dwarf, but he also unlocks the Berserker specialization for warriors in DA:O. He basically just shows up near the beginning of Awakening and is like, “Hey, I had fun killing shit with you and I wanna do more of it.”

Justice: Not in Schism, but mentioned in the notes: Justice is literally the Spirit of Justice who has taken over the corpse of a Grey Warden named Kristoff. In regular Dragon Age canon, Justice eventually leaves Kristoff’s corpse and hitches a ride with Anders, whose anger at the Chantry and the general treatment of mages turns him into VENGEANCE. In Schism, Justice departs back to the spirit world.

But I give you this list for a reason: thieves, exiles, casteless, apostates. These are the Great and Glorious Grey Wardens we’re dealing with here. Even Duncan, Maker watch over him, was a rogue and a thief before he became a Grey Warden and eventually rose to Warden-Commander of Ferelden. 

In the time period of Dragon Age: Schism, the people of Ferelden are still recovering from the Blight, from the death of their king, from Loghain’s claims of Grey Warden treachery, etc. Many generations before, there was a Grey Warden rebellion against the then-king, Arland, for his tyrannical ways. The Wardens were slaughtered - either by the king’s troops or by the demons that the Warden mage Avernus summoned in desperation - and the Warden Order was cast out of Ferelden until King Maric assumed the throne and allowed them back in. He even reinstated their Right of Conscription (though, again, you can’t just RoC anyone and everyone all the time; that’s a good way to get it - and possibly the Order again - revoked real quick).

So the Wardens are on shaky ground in Ferelden, where our story is set and centered (just as in Origins/Awakening). There aren’t many of them (see list above because - again, aside from Justice - that’s literally all of them in the entire country) and people are still sort of side-eyeing them. They have Queen Anora’s support, but even that’s shaky, especially while Alistair - who could have taken the throne in her place - is still alive and kicking. The leader of the Wardens of Ferelden may also be the Hero of Ferelden, but, in the case of Schism-verse, is also a “knife-ear” (as the slur goes), and not Andrastian (she’s not Fantasy Christian, basically).  

[pestopascal]

im so glad anon is back on i was too embarrassed to ask this but how is your amell working in highever? and is the trevelyan and cousland families related? thank you for answering! i look forward to reading more

i only had anon back on for like 12hrs sdkfjhskdfjh damn you work fast

amell is “on loan” working in highever considering it’s proximity to the jainen circle. i originally had her being called in for some fancy spirit healing nonsense but i think i missed a line. she’s just working. don’t mind her. i figure the couslands are lil more lenient in regards to a lot of things anyway, considering their entire history so. don’t consider it too hard, i haven’t just yet. maybe something to do with werewolves and spirits.

per the other fic i wrote with anora and fergus, i figure that eldest son of the teyrnir would be fostered alongside cailan and anora to maintain good relationships moving forward for future leadership (which did happen with royal families and other nobility). fergus has only just returned, i think i put him at about ready to meet oriana soon as well like. idk. the amount of maths in this game.

ostwick being across the waking sea and having the same titling system as ferelden would mean it was likely occupied at one point by a more ferelden based population/someone left ferelden to stake a claim in some land once upon a time. and due to that, as well as eleanor’s background with the storm coast and raiding, i’d figure two major port cities would want to keep excellent relations and entrusting noble children to one another is a perfect way of going ‘i trust you with my child and with my friendship, but if you fuck up we will end you’. double edged sword.

trevelyan and cousland families are not outright related to my knowledge, but going per queen asha’s political movements several hundred years prior, plenty of noble and royal families are distantly related. the trevelyan and pavus families for instance are distantly related due to tevinter ancestors which dorian points out, and it can be argued based on which codex entry you believe, a distant ancestor of hawke either through malcolm’s line or leandra’s, hailed from tevinter (parthalan).

[secretsfromwholecloth]

Dragon Age: Origins, day 6.

Ooh. Enjoy your drakeskin armor, Zevran.

Daiwen is feeling like a bit of a failure after a) letting darkspawn find and attack the camp and b) seeing what became of Tamlen. Thanks for, uh, all of you coming running to help put him down, babies. Very...helpful. (Alistair, your attempt at being comforting is very sweet.)

First up, Return to Ostagar. Alistair, Wynne, of course you’re coming along, that’s why you’re in the party in the first place.

I presume making Wynne 49 was an accident—someone chained a bunch of events and ages together and didn’t run the numbers to make sure they made sense. But here we are, and this series has now lost the right to have anyone make cracks about her being old. Especially the one where she says she’s old enough to be Zevran’s grandmother.

Look, I like numbers, I pick up on them. And now that Wynne has been pinned down as being forty-goddamn-nine, it turns out I’m closer in age to her than to the likes of Alistair, so hey, Bioware, what exactly is your intended messaging here?

Wynne is being written by her normal writer here, so of course she doesn’t feel any different. Alistair feels very slightly off, but it’s no terrible thing considering my love-hate relationship with his usual writer. We’ll see what feeling I get from Zevran, who’s rounding out the party.

I always give Cailan a proper funeral. Not least because I always have Alistair along, and whatever else may have been the case, that’s his brother (and I don’t love not being able to point that out—Daiwen could give a shit about Cailan’s “royal blood”, but his friend deserves a chance to do what his culture says is the right thing here).

Zevran, please place your disapproval somewhere uncomfortable. This isn’t your affair.

For the record, I still really dislike the banter where Alistair and Wynne flirt with each other. For multiple reasons.

I will be well pleased when Alistair’s Strength score gets to the point where he can equip the good armor and I can get rid of the stuff he’s wearing now and free up a couple of inventory slots. Just two more levels!

Welp, time for Leliana’s musical number.

I...no. Especially not in light of some of her earlier comments. It does comfort me to imagine Daiwen spending the whole time thinking “OK, clearly the ‘wise elven woman’ she learned this from knew a very different version of this part of the melody...nope, pretty sure that’s wrong...what word is she even trying to pronounce here...”

Level 14-15 isn’t dragonslaying time, and I don’t want to do Orzammar just yet, so let’s head for Soldier’s Peak.

“Gee, I’m taking Sten, the dog, and Leliana on a quick jaunt to Redcliffe to knock out a no-combat sidequest, hope we don’t get into any fights!” *cue darkspawn ambush*

After all this time, I still keep reading “poultice” as “poutine”. Fuck it, they’re health poutines now. Makes at least as much sense as drinking a poultice, ahem.

Oh, fine, before going after Shale I’ll take a quick look at Orzammar. Got a couple of side/companion quests whose next step is there, anyway.

We know we’re getting into the later game when the graphics start doing the glitchy thing. You know the one, where the game gets confused about what textures to load and stuff gets flickery and wrong-colored.

Tends to be comorbid with the crashies, too. As I’m finding out the hard way.

Clearly shemlen polities don’t have a monopoly on being incredibly tedious; now Orzammar is drawing Daiwen into its own succession crisis, and he has even less time for this one than for Ferelden’s.

He may be taking his cue from his player here; I’m kind of ready to be done, and a third of my mind is already on Awakening, but this has to get done first.

Zevran seems to be coming down on Bhelen’s side, so that solves (well, justifies) that.

Nug acquired. Hello, Schmooples.

YAAAAAAY DEEP ROADS *headdesk*

At this point, it’ll be weird if I ever hear Tara Platt in something where she doesn’t voice a woman whose only concern is motherhood and who says “child” a lot.

Anyway, Zerlinda has been convinced to emigrate, and no, of course this doesn’t remind me of anything, why do you ask?

Jarvia’s hideout, AKA the mini-Deep Roads! Yaaaaay! *wail*

And dealing with Jarvia herself can wait for tomorrow, because it’s gotten rather late to be starting a big fight like that.

[attanos]

dao canon babey!! 😎

some quick facts about this mess

cousland/guerrin family

nerin & teagan marry in 9:32 in denerim and she becomes the arlessa of redcliffe. she falls pregnant not too long after that and takes a step back from her work as warden-commander for the next few years. she focuses on her family and helping the crown rebuild ferelden.

their first child, finn, is heir to redcliffe. fergus never remarries and names rowan as his heir. maebh is set to marry brandon mac tir, heir to the throne, from the age of eleven.

the kids keep both of their parents names, determined to see both of their proud houses continue to prosper even after the tragedies that have befallen them.

finn looks every inch a cousland - black/brown hair and eyes the color of a mossy forest. 

rowan has the cousland hair but guerrin eyes. a stormy blue.

maebh is the striking image of teagan. same brown/red hair and stormy blue eyes.

nerin doesn’t really disappear in 9:40. she sets out with a purpose because a lead on the calling popped up (something she’s been keeping her ear to the ground about for years). her family & close friends are aware where she’s gone and lie to the inquisition about it.

mac tir/desrosier family

henri served as one of anora’s personal guards since she was about seventeen. he developed feelings for her during his service to her. he never said anything about them. he had no right to and anora was already betrothed to cailan.

his years of service to both anora and cailan saw him promoted to head of the royal guard not long before the events of ostagar. for which henri was present having accompanied cailan. then of course everything happens and henri is left with the death of his king and the label of orlesian traitor on his shoulders.

(his father, jehan desrosiers, was a chevalier & ruling gwaren during the orlesian occupation. his parents marriage was not a happy one. henri’s mother, neassa, was one of the leaders of the gwaren uprising. and according to tavern rumours was the one to drive a sword through her husbands heart. henri has about as many daddy issues as you can imagine.)

he and the handful of men he has left are in lothering looking for news when they run into the remaining grey wardens. long story short, they decide to work together to stop the blight and clear their names. henri is present for the landsmeet and has his name cleared, and his position restored, by anora.

both he and anora thoroughly discuss any plots that could be carried out in Alistair’s name and decide to up her guards for the time being. meaning that Henri is pretty much back to acting as anora’s personal guard. there’s a lot less distance between them this time. they’re both mourning cailan, a close friend to both of them, and henri finds himself half playing at advisor when anora shares governing business with him and asks for any opinions he may have.

eventually those feelings he had long buried come back, twice as strong as before and all the time he and anora spend together doesn’t help. nne night, after a particularly brutal session of trade talks with the orlesian ambassador, anora decides she needs a drink and after sitting in on those talks all day henri decides he could use a drink himself. one thing leads to another and there is some passionate making out going on. anora invites him to spend the night and he does, clothes on, both of them reminiscing about gwaren and how good of friends their mothers had been.

It’s here, three years after the blight, that their relationship begins to turn. they never label it, hardly discuss it, but they often spend nights together. sneaking kisses in hidden corners of the palace like they’re teenagers.

it goes on like this for years, slowly developing in a proper relationship. It’s an open secret in the palace and people whisper about it in denerim.

their relationship kind of comes to a head with the visit of an orlesian dignitary in 9:35 Dragon. some comments are made to henri regarding his father and how the desrosiers name is a joke in orlais now. how he spits on his fathers memory by running around and denying his blood, playing at being a loyal ferelden when orlais runs in his blood. and, of course, henri and his six thousand issues regarding his father and his orlesian heritage promptly freak the fuck out. he advises anora that they should break it off, telling her he’s sullying her families name, especially after everything her father has done to take ferelden back from the orlesian’s.

anora tries to talk him down from it, but he’s just as stubborn as she is, so she leaves him to wallow and goes to Get Shit Fixed. meaning she sends a letter to his mother, gwaren’s acting teryn, inviting her to the palace to slap some sense into her son. it’s actually quite a heartbreaking and lovely scene. henri sitting down with his mother and anora, being told how he is not and never will be his father. how he could never be even half as cruel and how he has his mothers blood in his veins too. old ferelden blood. blood that threw aside her traitor husband and swore allegiance to a rebel king. blood that made henri swear his life to the crown and those who held it.

henri still has a lot of issues with his birthright but having the two people he loves the most tell him he is more than his father definitely helps him slowly come to terms with who he is and how he’s more than his father’s failed legacy.

a year later anora asks Henri to marry her. her proposal is broken down into two parts; how much she loves him and wants to show that to her people and how valuable their joining with be for ferelden, both politically and also as a way to give the country an heir. it’s such an entirely anora way to go about it and henri loves her so much. he does voice some wariness regarding her marrying someone half orlesian. anora tells him to shut up. he does and they have a wonderful wedding ceremony attended by half of denerim.

anora gives birth to their first child, brandon, in 9:38. he takes after both his parents with his golden blonde hair and has henri’s light grey eyes. he grows up incredibly loved and cherished and 100% anora’s son. 

their second child, a girl they name lilah, is born in 9:40. golden blonde hair and anora’s (loghain’s) deep blue eyes.

brandon is to inherit the throne after his mother & is set to marry maebh cousland.

lilah is arranged to marry one of the little de chalon lions. a marriage between the ferelden & orlesian thrones? leonelle and anora truly are that powerful! 

[spacemomalex]

fuck my guys, it’s been a while since I did literally anything related to writing. But here you folks go! Some Alistair POV because I love him and he makes me sad.

Friendly reminder that this is a drabble (maybe series of) thing that I’m oing relating back to my “canon” origins verse. This snippit is from not long after Zayn became a warden and was sent to ostagar. Though unlike the game, he arrives a little earlier than the eve of the final battle and gets himself situated in camp.

“Oh don’t look now, trouble’s on the way.” 

Alistair watched with fascination as Zayn’s face cycled through the stages of grief. Normally, he was the one dreading time spent in the presence of his perfect, too-pretty princely half brother. (Okay so he was more of a king, and he was a decent man sometimes. But it still irked Alistair.) To his relief and delight, the fast elven friend he made in Zayne Surana, was just as annoyed by Cailan as he was.

Unfortunately for them both, Cailan seemed every bit as interested in being friendly to the only person in Ostagar that was willing and capable of graceful backhands, or blunt honest, or (Alistair’s personal favorite) exasperated sass of how wrong everyone was doing everything and exactly how to fix it. It was so annoying that they shared an interest in the same man, but the good king was unable to take a hint and realize that Zayn preferred spending time with him instead.

“If I have to listen Loghain bitch about this later...” Alistair hid a snicker under a cough.

As fascinating as Zayn was to them, and many of the wardens, and the elves, Loghain and Zayn despised each other. They avoided each other like plague ridden rats, and when forced to share breathing room, they tended to spend more time snapping at the other’s battle plans than actually planning. With Loghain questioning him at every turn, and Zayn happily stabbing holes in Loghain’s in return. Truly, they loved to hate.

As for Cailan, he sought out Zayn’s company whenever he had the chance. Dragging him to his meetings, having him talk to the various different parties in the war camp (for Zayn was, in fact, incredibly persuasive when he wanted to be). Annoying both Loghain and Alistair for, well, not similar reasons, but annoying them all the same.

“Ho friend! Good day to you wardens!” And there he was, in all in royal regal glory. 

“Cailan.” Another thing Alistair liked about Zayn, he only ever graciously nodded his head in greeting. Like equals. He never deferred to the king, despite being an elven mage. Alistair internally applauded him for doing what he couldn’t.

“A fine day for-”

“Let’s skip the pleasantries yes? What miserable task do you want me to do this time? We,” Zayn said, propping a hand on his elegant hip and jerking his head in Alistair’s general direction. “Were going to go eat.”

“Just to talk with such pleasant company as yourself.” Cailan offered one of those heart melting smiles that had most women sighing for days over his rugged good looks and warm kingly aura. Yet only made Zayn grunt in annoyance.

That was the other weird thing. Alistair couldn’t quite put his finger on why, but Cailan constantly complimented him too. On his shoulder-length braids, or the blue of his eyes, even once said he had the voice of a bard when he managed to sway a squabbling Templar and mage into a compromise. Alistair thought Cailan must be losing his grip- who even compliments someone on their voice?

“No really what do you want?”

“No really, just to talk.”

Zayne was squinting, suspicious. And rightly so! Alistair believed. 

“Oh, alright. There were some plans I wanted to discuss with you. Preferably alone.” 

“Ugh. I knew it.”

Still, in these past few months he had come to know Zayn. The man was as honorable as they came. Regardless of how trivial the matter, his friend would reach out to try and fix the problem to the best of his considerable abilities. 

So Alistair isn’t the least bit surprised as Zayn turned to him with an ever suffering, apologetic, look and said. “I’ll join you later?”

“If he keeps you up past your bedtime, leave him to the Loghain’s tender mercies. Then mine, cause seriously, who’s going to count how many bread loafs I can stuff in my mouth without you there?” 

“I know! The tragedy of it all!” Alistair grinned as he pointedly ignored Cailan’s pout in favor of his friend’s bright cackle.

Had anyone asked, Alistair would have told them he’d rather let the dogs slobber on him again for six weeks straight than be king. He still felt that way. Down to his very core. A king had to be responsible for everyone. He wouldn’t wish that kind of horrible fate on anyone. But, though he told himself he wouldn’t, he turned to sneak a glance as they walked away. Zayn was every bit as regal, every bit as self confident as the king. Like he belonged in a position of power and, by the Maker, he was good at it.

Not wanting to be king didn’t do anything to make him feel any better about finding himself left behind by powerful men again.

[omsrandom]

Looking at all these created characters, it made me think back about the first time I played Dragon Age. I went into it with no warning and chose to be a human rogue, happy as I saw that she had a family already. I cried when Bryce pleaded to leave him behind, and it stung more as i had no choice but to go. I met Alistair and laughed at his stupid jokes and one liners. I cried when Cailan and then Duncan died, and could barely think as I saw the lone two wardens be ambushed by dawkspawn after they had just watched their king and commander die before them.

Then I woke up in Flemeth’s hut with Morrigan beside me, and Alistair outside thinking I was on death’s door. I was polite to Flemeth, as she had saved us, and brought Morrigan along happily. I did all the quests in Lothering, recruited Leliana and Sten and saved Bodahn and Sandal.

I’m ashamed to say once I found out that there were ways of raising companion affection that I all but force fed them sweets and ale… but eh, it was my first time playing an honest to God RPG.

I did the Dalish contract first. At first, with Swiftrunner, I hated the wolves, but when the Lady explained things, it was the keeper that received my hate. In the end, I just felt sad as both he and the Lady gave themselves to break the curse.

The Circle was next, and god, did I rage. Wynne was a good character, don’t get me wrong, but for the love of god, I to give up Morrigan just for her (Wynne) to almost die at every encounter. ((I think that’s when I started to hoard healing potions like crazy)) Done even get me started on the Fade part of the Circle. After all my work, I could only get Wynne to snap out of it (fuck you too Alistair and Leliana; I trusted you) and she died within the first minute of battling Sloth.

She didn’t get used much after that.

Redcliffe…. let’s start with when you get to the village, shall we? Alistair turns out to be the (literal) Royal Bastard to inherent the throne should he come forth and the village is being attacked by skeletal like creatures at night. I was expecting a jumpscare, to be honest, and I was disappointed when it didn’t happen, but then this fuCKER NAMED CONNER WHO TURNS OUT TO BE ALISTAIRS YOUNGER COUSIN IN LAW TURNS OUT BE BE BEHIND IT AND WHY COULDN’T ISOLDE JUST ACCEPT THAT HE WAS A MAGE, DAMNIT?! Ahem, sorry. Anyways, I go to the Circle, get ambushed twice, meet Zevran (hello kinky elf, no, I’m taken by a Bastard of many ways, thanks), and by the time I get back, I have to send a mage BACK into the fade?? Like, what the hell game?? We’re trying to keep mages physically out of that shit, thank you. Anyways, Isolde and Conner still live and now I have to cure the arl.

Fuck no, not a scavenger hunt, I think to myself as I start bouncing between towns

Yep, turns out the scavenger hunt has me going passed a DLC town. So I swing by, pick up Shale, head to Haven, – oh, God dann cultists. This is why we can’t have nice things. Found a dead guy in a chantry, that’s nice. Answered some riddlez, revealed my deepest fears, tested my intellegence, refused a bride – IS THAT A FUCKING DRAGON MATE?! FUCK THAT SHIT. Turns out a certain mage *cough*Wynne*cough* shot a spell at it and aggro’d it. Got the the urn room and had to strip.

Forgot to take off a ring.

I burnt alive as I took a pinch of the ashes thinking “yeah, this… this is my life now. Nothing wrong here, noPE – WILL THESE VILLAGERS STOP?!”

Cured the Arl, got caught up in politics, went to go do the last contract with the dwarves.

And of course they’re in a civil war. Old fashioned good man vs modern madman. Me being me didn’t listen and chose old fashioned (thus unintentionally dooming the dwarven race) Harrowmont. Coulent talk the guys into fighting, so I had to fight instead. Got totally fucked up on the last two, but that’s ok, because I have respawn. I won, got to go into the Deep Roads and, oh, hello, you were arguing with another dwarf but my goldfish attention span demanded that I forget you and what you said. Oh, I’m looking for your wife? I’m so sorr- Nope, you can go fuck yourself. No, no, you can’t – Alistair, make him leave. Morrigan…? Wynne? LELIANA?! You know what, Leli, Alistair, you two are traitors; I haven’t forgotten the Fade incident, you’re suffering with me.

So Oghren joined. I wanted to punch him with the way he kept talking about women. And for being perpetually drunk. Got deeper into the Deep Roads. Found a Brood Mother thing. Found Blanka, who was just as crabby as I felt by then what with the random reiklings and darkspawn hordes. Sided against Blanka and killed her. Made Garrowmont king, great shit.

Moving to the Landsmeet. I killed Loghain and nominated Alistair alone the first time.

Got fucking dumped in front of everyone not a say after my irl boyfriend used one of our friends to break up. G fucking GAlistair.

Reload save, kill Loghain again, nominate both myself and Alistair as rulers.

Get told one of use has to die to stop the archdemon.

Fuck this game and those who made it.

Persuaded Alistair to make demon baby with Morrigan and killed the Archdemon myself. Did a wedding with the brother walking me down the aisle – you thought I forgot about him, hmm? – and the credits rolled.

Then Awakening started.

FUCKING HELL.

I knew about Anders; I got spoiled on that. But I had to recruit him? URGH. Oh, joy, Oghren here’s too… is it too late for the Archdemon death?

I got to post ritual before stopping and haven’t touched this character since. I missed a lot of side quests and companion quests, but just the fact that my first run ended happily is something I enjoyed.

[thenugking]

The Adventures of Mary Suesland Chapter 2

Chapter 1

I think the only warnings this chapter are for the slightly offensive views on mage issues, and some slight Inquisition spoilers. Also I would like to apologise to every character in this chapter for how I wrote them.

(Also remember that time I was trying to work out if anyone in the fandom wanted to fuck Ser Jory? It was for this. Sadly he is so unfuckable Emelerana will not be losing her virginity to him.)

CHAPTER 2

When Duncan and I arrived in Ostagar, we were greeted by King Cailan. He looked so handsome in his shiny royal armour and with his beautiful blonde hair! I blushed when he introduced himself to me, and told me he’d heard that I was brilliant. “And I’ve got to say, you certainly are,” he told me smiling.

“Thank you,” I told him. “I think you’re amazing too.” I’d always liked Cailan and was really sad when he died in Origins. But hopefully, I could stop that happening! “You have to take care though!” I told him. “Loghain is planning to betray you.”

Cailan looked confused. “But why would he do that? He was my father’s best friend!”

“He’s evil and power mad,” I told him. “You can’t trust him!” Duncan put his hand on my shoulder. “He won’t believe you,” he told me. “Loghain has manipulate him into trusting him too much.”

I burst into tears. “Why does no one ever believe me?” I cried. “It’s like I’m cursed!”

“It’s all right,” Duncan told me. “I’ll look after him in the fight.”

“Thank you,” I told him. “But make sure you don’t get hurt either. I couldn’t bare to lose either of you!”

I hugged him goodbye  before setting off to look around the Ostagar camp. Duncan had told me to look for Alistair and I was really looking forward to meeting him, he’d always been one of my favourite Dragon Age characters, and I’d romanced him every time.

I looked around the camp before going to find him. First, I went to the Tower of Ishal, but a guard told me Loghain had ordered that no one go in there. Of course he did, the asshole. He was such a controlling monster! Then I crossed a long bridge, trying not to look down at the battlefield below because I didn’t want to remember how horribly the battle would go. The bridge lead me into the main camp. I decided to go over to the mages’ tents first, after all I was a mage now.

There were two templars standing guard outside a small area behind the tents. “Stop,” one of them told me. “The mages past here are in the Fade, you mustn’t disturb them.”

I smiled at him. “It’s all right, I’m a mage too.”

“Very well then,” he said, and let me past.

I went past him and approached the mages who were in the Fade. Somehow, I knew just what to do. I reached out and felt magic tingle around me. I closed my eyes and when I opened them again,  I was standing in the Fade. Everything was slightly fuzzy and I could see the Black City floating in the distance. I shuddered, remembering that that was where Darkspawn came from. In front of me were the mages.

“Hello,” one of them said. “We came here to fight a demon, but we’re not strong enough. Can you help us?”

“Of course,” I said. I gasped as the demon approached, it was a pride demon, the worst of all of them, and looked really big and scary. The other mages screamed and ran to hide behind me. But I reached out and sent out a bolt of lightning to kill it. I could feel the magic of the Fade tingling around me, reacting to my power. The demon glared at me hatefully as it fell down dead. I took a deep shuddering breath, that had been terrifying!

The other mages congratulated me and we left the Fade happily. They started telling everyone about how I’d saved them! They decided to reward me by letting me take whatever I wanted from their mage chest. I was really glad, I remembered that in the game you had to talk to a horrible deserter to get a key he’d swallowed to open it, this way was a lot less gross. They also introduced me to Wynne. She was very impressed with my power and said she was sure I would make an excellent Grey Warden.

I still had other things to do before my Joining though, so I went to find the other Grey Warden recruits, Daveth and Jory. Daveth was really nice and handsome. We flirted a bit and it made me really sad that he was going to die in the Joining, I almost told him he should run away, but I suppose he wouldn’t have believed me anyway. No one ever does.

Then, I met Ser Jory. He was a lot older than Daveth and quite ugly but he started hitting on me straight away! It was gross!

“I thought you had a wife!” I exclaimed. In the game he’d been really devoted to her and was going on about her constantly.

“Well yes,” he said nervously. “But she’s not as lovely as you are!”

I slapped him and ran away.

I ended up on the other side of the camp, in the Royal Conclave. I hid between a tree because I saw Loghain leaving his tent, looking really cruel and mean, on his way to argue with poor Cailan, and I just couldn’t face him knowing what he’d do later. Then, I had an idea! If I could find evidence in his tent that he was planning to betray everyone, I could show Cailan and he’d have to believe me.

I ran over to his tent but there was a guard outside.

“Hi,” I said giving him my nicest smile. “Could I go inside Loghain’s tent please?” “Oh, well, uh, yes, I’m sure that would be all right,” he said, letting me inside.

I grinned in delight. Then, I started looking around. There were a lot of papers and battle plans but I couldn’t find anything about betraying the king. It was like he wasn’t even planning to at all! I wailed in frustration. How could I make anyone believe me now? Suddenly, I gasped in fear. Loghain was back!

“What are you doing in my tent?” he asked cruelly.

“I know you’re planning to kill the king! I told him. “And I’m going to prove it!” 

“What are you talking about?” He said. “I wasn’t planning to kill Cailan at all.” I frowned in confusion. Could I be wrong? Were the games wrong? But I’d been right about Howe. I exited the tent and turned to face him. “If you hurt him, I’ll make you pay,” I said threateningly.

He stared at me and it seemed like he was getting more evil as he did. “Get away from my tent,” he said nastily.

I didn’t want to do what he told me, but I still hadn’t found Alistair and I was looking forward to meeting him. So I glared at Loghain again and left.

I found Alistair a short way away from the main camp. My mouth dropped open when I saw him. He was the most beautiful man I’d ever seen and I felt myself falling immediately in love. But there was a problem. When I arrived, he was having an argument with a mage. I’d been so excited about my new magic powers, I hadn’t stopped to consider the downsides! As soon as Alistair met the Warden, he always asked if she was a mage, and was disappointed if she was. This would be a terrible start to our relationship and I wasn’t sure if I could convince him that I wasn’t like the other mages who looked down on him.

The horrible mage stormed away from him, leaving Alistair to shake his head in disgust. “You know,” he muttered, “One good thing about the Blight is-” His mouth dropped suddenly open as he turned to look at me and he started blushing. “Uh, hello,” he said. “I’m Alistair. You’re, uh, really pretty.”

I giggled. “I’m Emelerana. You’re very good looking yourself!” I told him. We were getting along really well, I’d had no reason to be worried at all!

“Thank you,” said Alistair, adorkably blushing even more. “So, I hope you’re not another mage!”

My stomach dropped, he’d had to ask, hadn’t he? For a moment, I considered just lying to him, and telling him I was an ordinary person. But I loved Alistair too much, I couldn’t bare lying to him like that. “I am a mage, yes,” I confessed. “But don’t worry! I’m not part of the Circle of Magi like that guy was!”

Alistair glared at me and I realised I’d said the wrong thing. “That’s even worse!” he snapped. “If you’re not with the Circle, you’re an apostate! I’m a templar, I can’t talk to someone like you!” He turned and stormed away, leaving me standing there miserably. What was the point in having magic powers if it meant Alistair would never love me? Why did my life always have to be so unfair? Every time something good happened to me, it would be taken away. First Chad, then my life with the Couslands, and now Alistair! I wondered if I’d ever really be happy.

I wiped tears from my eyes and pulled myself together. No matter how much pain I was in, I had to be stronger than this. I still had to stop Loghain and save Cailan and Duncan! I set off back to the campfire where the other Wardens were waiting for me.

Duncan told the four of us we needed to go to the Wilds, to collect Darkspawn blood and some old treaties, and asked for a word with me before I left with the others.

“I told Alistair you weren’t an apostate,” he told me. “I spoke to the revered mother and some templars earlier and we agreed that you’re strong and powerful enough to control your powers without having to go to a Circle. But Alistair’s still upset that you’re a mage, I’m afraid. He says he can’t trust you.”

I sighed. I was proud of Alistair for being such a good templar, but it still hurt that he would never love me now. I thanked Duncan, and went after the others, into the Wilds.

Jory was whining cowardishly, I rolled my eyes at him and went to talk to Daveth again. At least he didn’t mind that I was a mage. We got attacked by a group of darkspawn and I killed them all with a fireball, and Daveth told me how clever and talented I was.

“Hey!” Alistair yelled at us. “Stop flirting and focus on the Darkspawn!” I guess he really did hate me.

We gathered up some of their blood for our Joining and Jory asked Alistair what we needed the blood for, but Alistair refused to tell him. I almost told him just to spite Alistair, but I realised that if I did, he’d just run away right now, and then Alistair would get mad at me again. I sighed and walked further into the Wilds, ignoring Alistair shouting at me to come back.

I turned a corner and found a group of wolves. They growled at me but kept their distance. In the game, I’d had to kill them, but maybe here things could be different. I’d always felt bad about killing wolves in Dragon Age since I romanced Solas. And who knew, one of them could even be him in disguise!

“Solas?” I asked quizzically, reaching out towards a wolf.

It turned it’s head to the side in confusion. I guess it wasn’t Solas. Maybe Morrigan then, I thought, remembering that she was a shapeshifter. Wait a minute… Morrigan was able to shapeshift into animals after observing them. Maybe I could do the same!

I stared at the wolf in front of me, concentrating hard on what it must feel like. I felt magic at my fingertips and gasped, as I began to realise how to change.

“Agh!” Suddenly, I was lying on the ground, a heavy weight on top of me. Alistair had tackled me to the ground.

“Are you all right?” he said as the wolves ran away. “You need to be more careful, they could have killed you!”

“I’m fine!” I snapped. Truthfully, I was very touched that he’d tried to save me like that, but I was still upset at him, and I hadn’t needed it. “Just leave me alone, I got my Darkspawn blood, it’s not like you even need me for anything else!”

Alistair glared at me. “Well, we still have to get those treaties from Duncan.” 

I sighed. “The treaties aren’t even here!” I snapped at him. “They were taken ages ago!”

“What??” he yelled. “How do you know that?? Did you steal them?”

I rolled my eyes. “Of course not! I only just arrived in Thedas, you idiot!”

“Well, I don’t see anyone else who would have taken them!” he said.

“Twas I who took them, actually,” said a voice from behind us. We both jumped in surprise, turning round. It was Morrigan.

 Everyone except me glared at her suspiciously and asked who she was. She talked to me instead though, saying that I was braver than all of them.

“I know who you are,” I told her. “You’re Morrigan, a witch of the wilds. Your mother is Flemeth.”

“Flemeth?!” gasped Alistair.

Morrigan stared at me in shock. “Tis true,” she said. “How do you know that?”

“I’m from another world,” I told her, knowing she wouldn’t believe me.

She scoffed and rolled her eyes at that. “You’re lying,” she said. “But my mother will want to see you anyway. Tis this way.”

We followed her further into the Wilds.

“The way you stood up to that witch was so brave and amazing!” said Daveth, taking my hand as we followed her.

“Thanks,” I said. “She’s not as tough as she wants us to think!” In the game, Morrigan had started at the same level as Alistair and me, she was actually quite weak. And now that I was really here, I was already a better mage than her. 

“I’m really glad you’re here,” said Daveth.

I blushed and then, he kissed me!

I kissed Daveth back happily, until I remembered again that he was going to die soon. Then, I pulled away sadly. “Come on,” I told him. “Let’s go and meet Flemeth.”

We found Flemeth standing outside her hut in the swamp. I was a bit surprised by her appearance, I’d forgotten how different she looked in the first game to the second two. The men all gasped and tried to hide behind me.

Flemeth laughed insanely about the threat of the Blight and how irrelevant Jory was as she handed Alistair back the treaties. And then she turned to look at me. Her eyes went wide.

“No….” she muttered to herself. “It can’t be….”

“What is it?” I asked her. “What’s so strange about me?” “Get out of my Wilds now!” she snapped. “Morrigan, get her away from here!”

Why did Flemeth hate me so much? I knew you couldn’t trust her, but in the game she was at least helpful. I turned and stormed away.

Morrigan ran after me. “Mother said tis I who should show you out of the forest,” she said.

I was suddenly angry. “Well, who says I have to do what your mother says? You both just want to manipulate us anyway! And I’m sick of everyone treating me like this!” I ran into the Wilds before she could respond.

I sighed angrily, kicking at the ground. I’d leave the Wilds when I wanted, not when Morrigan or Flemeth told me to! Besides, maybe there was still something else I could do here. Maybe I could find the wolves again and try turning into one. Or… I thought back to my playthroughs of the Kocari Wilds. I’d found some buried treasure when with the others, but one thing we hadn’t done was fight the demon hidden in the pile of rocks. It wasn’t like I needed to fight it, you didn’t get experience points in real life, but I remembered a post I’d read on tumblr once about how the demon is meant to be a spirit that grants wishes to you. Getting a wish from a supernatural being really would be helpful right now!

I walked over to the pile of rocks, killing some Darkspawn with my magic on the way, and picked up some ash. I held it out in front of me and sprinkled it over the pile of rocks.

There was a roar, as the demon climbed out of the rock pile and glared at me, and then tried to cast a spell at me. I yelped, and got up a magic shield just in time.

“Wait!” I said. “I just wanted to make a wish, I’m not here to fight you!” “I don’t care!” the demon growled. “I kill every traveller who tries to get a wish from me!” It sent another bolt of magic right at me and I dodged to the side, screaming. I’d really gotten myself into a mess!

“Please!” I yelled. “I just want a way to save Duncan and Cailan and everyone from dying in the battle.”

The demon stopped suddenly, staring down at me. “You… want to save people?” It shook it’s head in shock. “I’ve been here for thousands of years and people have only ever wished things for themselves. But your wish is so selfless…” I gasped, as right before my eyes, the demon seemed to explode into light, and then gazed down at me, now a smiling transparent being. “Thank you, Emelerana,” it said. “Your selflessness has transformed me from a demon back into a spirit. I am going back into the Fade now, but I leave you a gift to make sure your wish comes true.” And it faded away, leaving a shining amulet lying on the forest ground.

I shrieked in joy, picking up the amulet and putting it on. Finally, a way to stop Loghain from killing everyone! Now, I just had my Joining to get through. I started back to Ostagar with a grin on my face, eager to become a real Grey Warden and save everybody.

[askchanceoffates]

Chapter 6

The next morning was dominated by an awkward silence. Revas and Markov would not look at each other. Nym and Duncan occasionally spoke, but only a few words here and there as they ate breakfast and took down the tents.

Markov kept casting weird looks at Nym. She tried to ignore them, but the looks continued throughout them packing up camp, and she could feel Markov staring from behind her on the horse.

“What? I know I’m pretty, but why do you keep staring at me?” Nym demanded, turning as much as she could to look back at Markov. She really hoped he didn’t spill everything from their conversation last night. At her outburst, Duncan and Revas both glanced at them.

Duncan cocked an eyebrow. “Markov, no matter how pretty Nym is, I recommend keeping your hands to yourself as much as possible.” He chuckled, noticing that Markov already had a rather timid grip on Nym’s waist.

“I am! And I’m not staring!” Markov exclaimed.

Nym snorted, “Yes, you are. And you can grip my waist tighter, I won’t break. Or set you on fire. But as it is, you’ll fall off if you’re not.”

“Fine,” Markov grumbled, tightening his grip.

Revas finally spoke, “Why were you staring? You were totally staring at Nym.”

“I was just wondering about your accent. You sound like you come from Antiva, but you were in the Ferelden Circle. That’s a long way to go.”

“I am from Antiva. It was not my choice to come to Ferelden.”

“How’d you end up here?” It was Revas who asked this time.

“The Templars brought me here after they discovered my magic. I was around ten at the time.”

Markov had a stricken look on his face, and his grip, previously still loose, now tightened to painful intensity. “How long did you say you were in the Tower? Because I remember hearing seven years, and that would make you only seventeen. Not even an adult…”

Nym laughed, a cold and sarcastic sound. “Good job! You can do basic math!” She sighed. “Mages are considered legal adults once they go through their Harrowing. Besides, most of us in the Circle never had anything resembling what you might consider a childhood.”

Silence descended once again after that pronouncement, but only for a moment. “Markov, do you mind loosening your grip?”

“Sorry.” Markov smiled sheepishly. He leaned forward and whispered to Nym, “You’re just so pretty, I couldn’t resist.”

“Well played, handsome.”

“You guys, we already took down the tents. If you’re gonna fuck, you’ll have to do it in the bushes. And make it quick, it looks like Duncan wants to leave soon.” Revas rolled her eyes at the two. “Also, I’m not walking today. My feet are killing me.”

“You didn’t have to walk Revas.” Nym and Duncan spoke at the same time. They glanced over at each other, a smirk playing on Nym’s mouth and Duncan’s eyebrow cocked.

“Well, someone has to. We only have two horses. One can take two people, but the other one has all of our supplies, meaning it can only hold one rider.”

Nym sighed. “Or, we could evenly distribute the supplies between the two horses, and probably have two riders on each horse.”

“Or Markov could suffer for groping me in my sleep.” Revas supplied.

“It was an accident! Furgus moved while we were sleeping!”

Nym sighed and dismounted. Before anyone could blink, she had half of the supplies off of Duncan’s horse and was arranging them behind Markov. Once done, she remounted in front of Markov. “There. Now Revas, climb up in front of Duncan, and let’s be on our way.”

Revas sighed and hopped up onto the horse behind Duncan. It wasn’t graceful by any means, but it got her in the place she needed to be. Markov snorted. “Revas, have you never ridden a horse before?”

“This is gonna be the same answer to the tent question. Don’t ask stupid questions, or you’ll get stitches.”

“That doesn’t even make sense.” Markov rolled his eyes. “Why would I get stitches?”

“Snitches get stitches.” Three voices echo each other. Revas snorted out a laugh, Nym smirked, and Duncan cocked a brow.

“That still doesn’t make sense!”

The other two joined Revas in her laughter. Rather than responding to him Duncan spurred his horse into motion, Nym following soon after. It was quiet while the horses trotted along, Furgus loping along beside them, his tongue lolling out of his mouth. Revas had fallen asleep behind Duncan, head pressed against the metal backing of his armor, her mouth open slightly. Duncan himself didn’t seem to mind that the elf had fallen asleep against him, and was smiling slightly. They rode like that for a few hours, until Duncan deemed it was time for lunch, and a much needed bathroom break.

Markov ran off to the woods. Duncan turned around slightly and shook Revas awake, the same gentle smile on his face. She awoke with a snort. Rubbing her face, she asked “Duncan, why is your armor so freaking comfy? It doesn’t make sense, and it seems highly impractical.” Duncan laughed and patted her head.

“It’s not comfy. You must have just been tired.”

“Mm. Nightmares. They didn’t really make any sense. I usually have them after I talk about my Mom. Don’t know why though.”

Duncan smiled sadly and dismounted his horse before helping Revas off. Markov returned and Nym went off into the woods. Revas was still rubbing her eyes. She was glad that the bruise she got from being hit by the noble finally faded, otherwise rubbing her face would prove to be hard. Once Nym came back from the woods Revas took off.

When everyone was back at the temporary rest stop Duncan handed out the jerky strips that they used for snacks. While they chewed they watched the merchant carts and citizens fleeing from the monsters in the south. Every once in awhile a child would come running up and ask if they could pet the mabari hound. Revas and Markov, Nym noticed, managed to agree on one thing. That thing being that children are allowed to pet the puppy.

With their short break over the horses were mounted again. Their pace remained the same as they moved along. By evening they would be in Ostagar.

Their small group managed to make good time. The sun was just starting to set when they arrived at Ostagar, the king and a small group of soldiers meeting them at the gates. As they approached the small group, the riders pulled their horses to a stop and dismounted. The king approached Duncan with arms opened wide, a grin on his face.

“King Cailan! I wasn’t expecting-”

“A royal welcome? I was beginning to worry you’d miss all the fun,” Cailan laughed and clasped Duncan’s shoulders. He turned to the Warden recruits and jumped in surprise. “Markov! I didn’t expect to see you here. Your brother is off with a scouting group. Where’s your father? We were expecting him to be here already.”

Markov shifted uncomfortably, his eyes becoming distant. “I’d like to speak in private, if you don’t mind.”

Cailan looked puzzled, but shrugged. “As you wish. Now,” he gazed at Nym and Revas, “may I ask for your names? And how you were recruited?”

“I killed an arl’s son for raping my cousin.” Revas said, glaring at Cailan.

“You-what?!”

“That is not quite how I would have put it. There have been events in the Alienage that you should know about, your Majesty.” Duncan spoke quickly.

“When I voted for you, I thought there would be change!” Silence followed Revas’ outburst, everyone staring at her. She cocked her head. “What?”

Nym leaned over to Revas. “You don’t vote for kings.”

“WHAT?!? I wanted to be king!”

Nym gave Revas a flat stare. “Seriously?”

“No. But I distinctly remember campaign posters saying ‘Change’ and going to vote…”

Nym laughed excitedly, “Really? It worked?”

Duncan, Cailan, and Markov all looked at her cautiously. Revas just looked curious. Duncan sighed, “What worked?”

“Don’t worry about it.”

Cailan cocked an eyebrow at Nym, then shook his head before asking, “And you?”

“I am an enchanter.”

“What is your name, enchanter?”

“There are some, who call me...Nym.” She said this while attempting to look mysterious. The effect was somewhat ruined by her small smirk and the mischievous sparkle in her eye. “But seriously. Nymeria Surana, at your service. I helped my friend escape the Circle, but was caught. This time. But, he did still escape. So I’m counting it as a win. And, I mean, I got out too. So…”

“Double win!” Revas sang. Nym and Revas high fived.

“Ah.” Cailan glanced uncomfortably over his shoulder, towards the templar encampment. “Will this be an issue with the templars here?”

“Probably.” Nym shrugged. “But don’t worry about it. I won’t burn down your army camp or anything - or anyone - important.”

Duncan cleared his throat. “Well, I think that’s enough chatting. Nymeria, Revas, go find a Warden named Alistair.”

“How will we know him?” Revas asked.

“You’ll know him when you see him. Oh, and if you can, let the other two recruits know we’ve arrived.”

“But how will we know them?” Revas sounded rather annoyed.

“We shall ask!” Nym declared as she grabbed Revas’ hand and dragged her away.

As they walked off, they heard Cailan saying quite seriously, “Now Markov, what did we need to talk about?”

“WYNNE!” Nym yelled as she barreled into an older woman.

Wynne sighed, “What are you doing here?”

“I’ve been recruited into the Grey Wardens.”

Wynne gave Nym a very stern glare. “What did you do?”

“Well...I helped Jowan escape. But it turns out he lied to me, and is in fact a blood mage. Dick.”

“Language!” Wynne scolded.

Nym looked down sheepishly. “Sorry Gran.”

Wynne sighed deeply. “And who is this?” she asked, nodding to Revas.

“Fellow recruit.” Nym nudged Revas forward.

“I’m Revas...are you actually related?”

“No.” Nym and Wynne spoke at the same time, shaking their heads the same way. Revas slowly backed away, glancing between the two. Upon noticing this reaction, Nym and Wynne both chuckled.

“It’s a side effect of living in close proximity for years. Surely you have similar habits to others in the alienage?” Nym commented, cocking her head to the side.

“Well, yeah, but we’re actually related.”

“So? Since when does blood matter?” Nym questioned.

Wynne coughed. “I’m sure you have other matters to attend to, as I do.”

“Ugh. Fine. I’ll see you later.” Nym and Revas started walking on and waved bye to Wynne.

Nym slowed to a stop not far from Wynne and muttered, “You go on ahead…” before running off.

Revas blinked. And blinked again. “Why the fuck am I alone?”

Revas sighed. She was getting nowhere. Ostagar was bigger than she had initially thought, and quite a few people were rather rude to her. The armor seller was rude until she mentioned she was a Grey Warden…ignoring the recruit part. She had expected Nym to appear and help her find the missing recruits, and that Alistair guy, but she hasn’t shown up since she told Revas to go on ahead.

“Hey!” Nym jumped down from...somewhere, landing directly in Revas’ path. “Have you found anybody?”

Revas jumped, a hand over her heart. “Where the fuck did you come from? And no, I haven’t found anyone, cause somebody fucked off instead of helping me. For an hour. ”

Nym smirked, “I found other people I know. Don’t worry about it.”

Revas sighed and looked to the side. She lowered her hands onto her hips and cocked one eyebrow. “I have the strange feeling, and this is nothing against you, I just want you to know that, I just have this strange feeling that when you say that I shouldn’t worry about something, that I should definitely worry about it .”

Nym didn’t respond, and just gave a closed smile to Revas. She started walking away. After a few steps she noticed that she wasn’t being followed. She didn’t bother to look back, but whistled and snapped her fingers and motioned for Revas to follow her. Revas sighed and blew a strand of hair out of her face. She considered ignoring Nym for a couple of seconds, then gave in and followed the raven. She figured that she would have a better chance finding people if she were with Nym.

“This way,” Nym led Revas up a flight of stairs to the infirmary.

“I’ve been up here already,” Revas whined, “No one is here except for a couple soldiers.”

“Oh really?” Nym cocked an eyebrow. “What about him?” She asked, pointing to a balding man standing near the priestess.

“He’s a soldier. He was praying earlier. Don’t interrupt people while they pray.”

Nym snorted and tapped the man on his shoulder-plate. “Are you a Grey Warden recruit?”

The man whirled around. “Uh, yes...Ser Jory, at your service. May I ask who you are?”

“I’m Nymeria Surana, and this is Revas Tabris. We are two more recruits. Duncan sent us to find everyone.” Nym explained, smirking at the look of annoyed shock on Revas’ face.

“Oh, I didn’t realize that women or elves could join the Grey Wardens. Those in the valley are all male and human.”

The temperature of the surrounding air dropped rather suddenly as the look on Nym’s face froze in a sickly sweet smile, a hand on Revas’ shoulder to stop the other elf from attacking the man.

“Do you have a problem with us being women, or elves?” Nym asked, her voice frostier than the air around them. She wasn’t entirely sure what noise Revas was making; it seemed to be a mix of grinding teeth and an attempt at growling.

“What? No, no! Clearly Grey Wardens are recruited based on their merits,” Jory lifted his hands defensively and took a step back. A slight whimper escaped.

“No shit.” Nym rolled her eyes. “Anyway, we have others to track down. Go find Duncan.” With that, Nym waved her hand, dismissing him as she turned away to head back down the stairs, once again not looking to see if Revas followed.

Revas followed Nym after one last glare at Jory. “How did you know he was a recruit?”

“Don’t ask questions.”

“Why?”

“I’m sorry, is that another question?” Revas shook her head vehemently, denying all knowledge of everything. “Good.” Nym headed to the quartermaster’s at the base of the stairs.

“Don’t bother talking to him; he’s an asshole.”

“I had no intention of talking to the quartermaster.” Nym sauntered over to a tan man leaning against a pillar. “You the other recruit we’re supposed to find?”

The man looked Nym up and down and whistled. “I sure hope so. The name’s Daveth.”

“Nym. Revas.” Nym gestured to herself and turned to find Revas, only to see something unexpected. “Revas, why are you fighting the quartermaster?”

“Fucker insulted me!”

“Why did you start talking to him in the first place?”

“‘Cause he was nicer to me when he found out I was a Grey Warden recruit.” Revas stopped and stared at Nym and Daveth. She sheathed her blade and tripped the quartermaster. He shouted out a quick “hey!” and “that’s dirty fighting!” to which she responded with a shrug and “I’m a city elf. We fight dirty.” She joined the other two.

Daveth was laughing at her. “I like that reasoning! I wish I could use that.”

Revas regarded him with a raised brow. Suddenly a wicked smile grew across her face. “I like you. Wait. I think I know you. Cocky. Bad at stealing… Daveth?”

Daveth stared at her for a few seconds more. Suddenly his eyes grew wide and his eyebrows shot up. “Maker’s breath! Tabris! I didn’t know your name was Revas. I haven’t seen you in what, a year now?”

“A year and two weeks. You’ve changed. You lost some weight, cut and changed your hair colour. What happened to you?”

“Guards, mostly. I was just released a few months ago.” Daveth shrugged. “Wait. What do you mean that I’m bad at stealing? I steal stuff all the time!”

Revas snorted. “You’re bad at stealing. You’re good at running, but bad at stealing and not having people notice it.” She raised her shoulders in a weak attempt at a shrug, hands splayed out in front of her. “Nym is better at stealing than you and she was locked in a tower all of her life. I think.”

“Not quite. Only the last seven years. I was brought to the tower when I was ten.”

Revas did a proper shrug this time. “Still. A large part of your life. Anyways, Daveth, we should catch up later. I think we still have one other person to find before we can join the others. That being said, go join the others.”

The two rogues hugged each other quickly before Daveth patted Revas on the back. He winked at Nym, and Nym sent him a sultry smile back. Nym and Revas watched him walk away, a grin on both of their faces. As soon as he was out of earshot Nym leaned over and asked “Do you think he noticed that you lifted his change purse from his person?”

Revas snorted. “Nah. I’ve been stealin’ from him for years. He didn’t notice then, I highly doubt he notice now.”  Revas pulled the tie from her hair, grumbling at the length of it. She shook her head, and with quick hands, yanked the mess of curls back into a tight ponytail. Once finished she threw a smile towards Nym. “All right, One Who Knows All and Tells Me Not To Worry About It, where to next? Seeing as you have been able to find the others without any trouble.”

“First things first: have you looked around? Because before we find Alistair and head back to Duncan, we should pilfer everything we can. I guarantee the quartermaster takes stolen goods. I know I got everything from the mage encampment, and I think found anything good from over the bridge. Some of these soldiers have a lot of silver on them...” Nym trailed off when she noticed Revas’ wide-eyed stare at her. “What?”

“I know I joked about you stealing, but I just...wasn’t expecting that.” Revas shifted awkwardly. “Wait, how do you know that he takes stolen goods?”

“Look at him. He’s shifty, uncomfortable under scrutiny, and if you look in his storage chests he definitely has smuggled goods.”

“Huh.” Revas scratched the back of her head. “I usually pick up on those things, but I don’t really care for taking notice of people when they treat me like I’m not good enough. Then I end up fighting them or robbing them blind. And, I mean, I’m okay at reading people, not the greatest, but not the worst, but damn you’re good. Better than my mom was, and that was basically her job, y’know?” Revas gave Nym a look, as if she was expecting an explanation from Nym without having to ask another question. Nym just gave her a shit eating grin.

“Okay,” Nym sighed, “I think that’s everything.”

The quartermaster stared in shock as the two young woman in front of him piled up weapons, armor pieces, and other goods in a stack almost half their height. His mouth opened and closed as he tried to get the words out to express his disbelief. The two elves smirked at his imitation of a fish. With a smile on her face and a hand held out, Nym said, “Well, I do believe that all of this would equate to around a hundred gold.” Revas nodded along side her, fixing her hair once more.

Nym snapped her fingers to regain the quartermaster’s attention. He didn’t even question the questionably high amount of gold that the elven mage had requested, just handed it over. When Nym was done dealing with the man she turned to find Revas had abandoned her. Apparently, something had caught the rouge’s sharp eye.

It was a dog. A mabari hound, specifically. When Nym caught up to Revas she was already entering the fenced off area the dog was holed up in. The poor animal reeked of sickness.

Nym turned to the kennel master. “What’s wrong with the hound?”

“Poor bugger’s got the Blight. I need him muzzled before I can get close enough to treat him. Your friend here just hopped the fence.”

“Hey Revas!” Nym yelled.

“What?” Revas’ was slightly muffled, as her face was buried in the hound’s fur.

“Put a muzzle on the dog, would you?”

“Why? That seems mean.”

“The dog is sick. He needs to be muzzled so the kennel master can treat him,” Nym patiently explained, as if speaking to a small child.

“Oh. Fine then.” Revas pouted as she put the muzzle on the hound.

When Revas showed no indication of going to exit the kennel, Nym called out, “We still have to find Alistair, remember?”

“But puppy!” Revas whined.

“Whine again and you burn.”

Revas looked horrified. “B-but you might hurt the puppy!”

Nym just grinned. “No, I won’t. I have excellent aim.”

Revas grumbled to herself as she climbed out of the pen. She stomped over to Nym, who hadn’t stopped smirking. As the two elves turned to leave, the kennel master called over to them, “Are you going into the wilds anytime soon?”

Nym and Revas exchanged quick glances. “We might be. Why?”

“If you do, can you keep an eye out for a white flower with a red centre? It can be used to treat the hound.”

“We’ll look,” Nym promised before grabbing Revas’ arm and walking away “Come along dear. Let us go find this Alistair fellow.”

Nym and Revas climbed the stairs to the one area they had not yet checked. As they ascended, the sounds of an argument drifted towards them. They couldn’t make out the words, but to Nym it sounded like it was between a templar and a mage.

“What her ‘Reverence’ desires is of no concern of mine!” A rather irate mage was bellowing at some hapless blonde fool, who resembled something of a kicked puppy. As the two passed under an archway, they were shoved aside by the mage. Revas lifted his change purse as compensation.

“Fuck you too, Jim!” Nym yelled as the mage - Jim, apparently - stormed off.

Revas gave Nym a quizzical look. “Jim? Really? Shouldn’t he have a more, I don’t know, magical name?”

Nym just stared at Revas until the redhead turned away.

“Well, one good thing about the Blight is how it brings people together.” The blonde man had joined them at the top of the stairs.

Nym laughed. “I know what you mean.”

“It’s like a party! We should all join hands and sing songs. That’d give the darkspawn something to think about.”

Nym smirked while Revas seemed confused. “You’re a very strange human.” The ginger stated and cocked her head. “I like you.”

“So what was that argument about?” Nym inquired.

Alistair shifted awkwardly, “Well, the Revered Mother sent me with a message for the mage.”

“That’s offensive because…?”

“You see, I used to be a templar.” Nym stiffened and took an immediate step back.

There was an uncomfortable silence, short lived when Revas clapped her hands together. “All right, I’m bored. Let’s head back to camp and get ready to go into the wilds. I got a puppy to save. Nym, we’re done with everything else, right?”

The raven mage slowly nodded her head. “We are. I suppose we should be heading back.”

“Sweet, lead the way.” Revas sidestepped and let the mage lead them back to their camp.