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hawaiianhalfwolf · 6 years ago

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Back to the Night we Met | Noah & Reza

Flashback to a long overdue talk and a much needed hug

It was still weird, not having a heartbeat to indicate just how nervous he was. Not that Reza needed one now to tell him that he was freaking out as he killed the engine of the motorcycle on the edge of Kalani house lot. Kind of reminiscent of the night he'd come over after the four month absence, hoping Noah would take him back. That time, he'd been somewhat optimistic about his chances. Now, he had now fucking clue. Noah had initiated this meeting himself but that didn't really have to mean anything. Maybe he just wanted to make sure that things were decent between them, or even set in stone just how finished their weird little relationship was. No matter the reason, Reza couldn't ignore the giant rock in his stomach that was the kiss shared with Eddie. As much as he wanted to just pin the whole thing on the drunk medium, he couldn't. He was very aware of the way he'd returned the kiss, and all of the conflicting reasons behind it, and each and everyone weighed heavy as he reached the door and knocked gingerly. With his nerves on high alert, he couldn't refrain from listening to what was going on inside the house, which thankfully gave the impression of being mostly quiet. Well, other than the tell-tale sign of dog claws skittering across the floor along with familiar footsteps, that albeit sounded much slower than Noah's usually fast paced step. Reza honestly and truly thought he'd been prepared for this situation (meaning as prepared as he ever could have been) but the unfamiliar smell that followed the door opening, along with the obvious bandaging on Noah's neck, threw every bit of menial preparation out the window. "Hey," he just managed to breathe out, for once not paying attention to the two dogs staying close to Noah's feet or even Noah himself -- but more so whatever was hiding underneath the bandage and tainting the air with an unfamiliar scent of blood. It definitely smelled like Noah but... different. Reza really should have had a cigarette before knocking, damn Noah's sensitive nose.

Sitting there underneath his nest of blankets and dogs, Noah was well aware of motorcycle as it came up the driveway, engine noise cutting through the sound of his wildly beating heart. And there were a lot of reasons to be nervous, but Noah didn’t have the brain power to go through them all at the moment, his sole focus was trying to get to the door without needing to sit down again. “Hi” Noah breathed out as he opened the door, his heart constricting in his chest. He knew it had only been a month but somehow he expected Reza to look wildly different. To have a weird haircut or another tattoo or just something to mark the change. But he didn’t. In fact Reza look exactly the same as the day the Slayer had interrupted them and set off this entire journey. It was Noah who had changed. “Uh sorry about the” He waved towards the bandage on his neck. Cahill had insisted they put a new one on before Noah forced him to stop fretting and stay locked up in his damn room for the duration of this conversation. But he knew Reza could still smell it, and he knew that could be a huge problem for him. But hopefully Reza had eaten before coming. Damn he should have told him to eat before coming should he. Trying not to fret Noah left the door open for the other boy, head starting to feel a bit fuzzy from all the movement (well that and the lack of blood in his veins) “Um, but I’m going to go sit back down now,” Noah stated quietly, hoping Reza would get the jist and just follow him as he shuffled back to his safe space. “If you need a drink or something before this uh well you know where the kitchen is” He waved out before plopping himself back down into his nest of blankets on the living room couch, both dogs wedinging themselves somewhere within reach of Noah’s body.

Hearing Noah's voice was rough, reminding Reza of their last actual conversation like a ruthless slap to the face. Even more so, reminding him of what the last words spoke by the vampire were. They rattled around in his head now and there was no denying the truth behind them; even after an actual breakup and more than a month apart, Reza couldn't fucking deny it in the slightest. "That's fine. It's just good to see you." By some miracle, Reza managed to find his voice, weak as it was. What the hell had even happened to him? If it was relevant, Noah would most likely reveal it in time but Reza was jittery with the need to know now. To know how bad it was, if only to quell just how much he wanted to dote and worry and wrap his arms around the other boy for comfort; whether for Noah's or his own was debatable. "Of course, yeah. I'll just, uh..." Trailing off, Reza settled for closing the door behind him as Noah shuffled away, and kicked himself for feeling so flustered. Not that he didn't have every reason to, all things considered. It was a relief that the dogs and the mounds of blankets took up most of the couch Noah was on, not giving Reza the choice to even sit there since his desperation most likely would have jumped at the opportunity and dragged him over. Stunts like that didn't seem like the best course of action right now, especially since he had no idea where Noah stood on this whole thing. Sitting crosslegged on one of the smaller sofas opposite Noah, feeling extremely reminiscent of the night Charlie had accidentally outed the vampire as just that, Reza tried - and failed - to bite his tongue. "You already know I'm going to ask so... are you alright? You feel a bit weak and you probably didn't bring me over here to pry but I just... your heartbeat even sounds off. Which is a weird thing to note but here we are." Stop rambling and let him answer the question, dumbass.

Sitting there feeling the worry radiating off of Reza, Noah wasn’t surprised when the other boy spoke first, voicing concerns about his condition. And it was funny how if on cue his heart just melted, the complete and utter joy of actually having him in front of him after so many days without him mixed in with the pain and the longing of having to have gone without. But Noah knew he at least was a better man now because of it, and he wasn’t going to let the fact that he absolutely and utterly missed fucking Reza Burki get in the way of having a healthy conversation about the changes that had happened to him and the relationship dynamic since he left. So taking a deep breath Noah went for it, glad that Reza was sitting opposite him and not beside him. “ Well I’m not going to say I’m fine, because you obviously can tell I’m not in any way shape or form” Noah started softly hand absentmindedly going to the scruff of Kea’s neck, eyes avoiding Reza’s at all costs. “But um I-I wanted to tell you this first, before we even talk about well [i]us[/i] because I think it’s important for our communication. But uh” Noah paused for a second trying to figure out how to even put this into words. “I-I asked my Uncle to bite me,” He practically spat out, knowing he just needed to say it before out before he couldn’t anymore.“So uh yea that’s what this is.” Noah pointed to the bandage on his neck, hoping Reza would be able to put two and two together. “And um I’m sorry if it’s something that you don’t think you can handle going forward, but I just needed to do it for myself, and I wanted to make sure you knew,” He chanced a glance towards Reza, wondering what was going through his head as the words kept spilling out of his own mouth “And like I wanted to give you time to process if you needed to. And just let you know thats whats up with me right now and part of the reason why I think I was just. I was unhappy before. But uh I’m going to stop rambling now” Noah nodded. Waiting for Reza to say something.

Reza couldn't help but think how much of a damn blessing these dogs were, as he tried and failed to come up with a situation where they hadn't helped tremendously. Whether it was in the way they were curling up with Noah now, helping Reza refrain from literally tacking the other boy and ruining everything right away, or every time they had been a focus point in difficult situations, just like now. Even though the vampire's fingers itched to have soft fur to focus on too, he wouldn't have taken either dog from Noah. Not with the timid way he was speaking, like it was definitely a two dog struggle. So Reza settled for fiddling with his rings as the words grew more and more tense until the bomb was finally dropped and his hands stilled. Noah's following ramble got lost in the white noise as Reza wrapped his head around that little tidbit of information. His eyes met Noah's quick but curious glance for a hot second, chest constricting. Not because Noah had taken a huge step, really, but more so because he cared. He cared about Reza's opinion and thoughts on this and- "Holy shit." Not very articulate but a start. "I mean... no, that's exactly what I mean, holy fucking shit, Noah. That's great! I'm, uh... assuming, since you asked him and he actually said yes, I obviously know squat about this werewolf stuff but... damn." Reigning in the little outburst, colored with all sorts of excitement, Reza cleared his throat. "So... yeah. I'm happy for you. Honestly." Fuck, he wanted to be closer to him right now, touch him or even just lean against the comforting warmth. "What happens now, then? You're part of the pack and... can go full wolf whenever you like? Or wait, just on the full moon? Damn, now it makes sense that you smell different. Not that it's a bad thing! I just... am shutting up now and letting you speak." Sinking back into the sofa to keep his eagerness from literally drawing him off it and onto the floor, Reza's eyes never left Noah's. Methodically marking every change he could notice now, even just in the way he carried himself (not including the weakness from being bitten by a giant alpha werewolf, obviously).

"Holy shit."Noah couldn’t help but wince slightly at the phrase because, well yea, that definitely could be taken a multitude of ways. But luckily for the both of them Reza kept talking, his giddy energy making the corners of Noah’s mouth uptick slightly. He didn’t know exactly what he had expected from the other boy, but this, this was definitely good. In fact, it was better than good, it was something that well, made Noah’s heart feel that strange sort of warm fuzzy sensation, coupled with the urge to just throw his arms around the other boy. But as much as he wanted it, Noah was going to resist all of those urges. Because they still were technically broken up, and they still needed to talk about things like adults, and Noah would be damned if he forgot that. Letting himself though drift into a playful smirk. “He almost didn’t say yes at first.” Noah remarked hand still absentmindedly playing with Kea’s ears “But he’d have cut his own arm off before he let anyone else touch me, so he eventually gave in” He glanced up at the ceiling with that one, wondering if his uncle was listening. He probably was, the bastard. Sighing through Noah Leaned back a bit more on the couch, still-ing his hands, much to the dismay of Kea. “I’m still in transition, which is why this thing isn’t already healed.” He tilted his head slightly to emphasize the bandage again. “So it’s like I’m still technically human, and we won’t know if the bite actually took until this next moon. But uh yea, I figured I’d start to smell different. I definitely feel different. Well you know minus the giant gaping wound” Noah chuckled out slightly, trying on another smirk. It didn’t exactly fit over his mouth like it once used to but it seemed to work just as well as any of his other expressions in the moment. Letting it fall slightly Noah found himself gazing at Reza, as if trying to assess everything that could have changed with the boy in the past month through eye contact alone. “How are you doing though?” He asked quietly, but genuinely wanting to hear the answer.

Seeing Noah smile in that lopsided, cheeky way was such a damn relief, especially since their last face to face meeting had ended with an expression from the other man that had burned itself into Reza's retinas. Pure disappointment and hurt. And the two of them weren't just fixed now, Reza knew that but... this felt hopeful. Noah's laugh made him feel hopeful and happy and light. "That's good. I really hope it takes. I mean, I'm sure it will." Trying not to get stuck on the image of what Noah would look like as a wolf, especially since Reza had only ever encountered one fully formed werewolf, he managed to get caught off guard by the soft question. "Hmm? Oh, well..." Raking back his hair as he wondered where to start, Reza pushed away the thought of telling him about Eddie. He would, there couldn't be any secrets, but right now wasn't the time. "Getting by, I guess. Still trying to figure out that whole slayer thing which is... a bummer but while that's a work in progress I actually, uh... took a note from the Noah book of good advice and... started seeing a therapist, I guess. It's really weird but at least it's something to do that's not just... unproductive and sad." Reza's gaze, previously fixed on the dogs still trying to nuzzle even closer to Noah, chanced a glance up at him. "I'm supposed to like... meditate every day which is a really wonky thing to do when you don't normally breathe but, uh... yeah." Rubbing the back of his neck, an awkward chuckle slipped out past the shy smile on his face. Even though he was supposed to be going to these sessions for himself (which he was, after a whole lot of deliberating with himself), Reza still felt happy that he could tell Noah about this.

“Well here’s hoping i’m not like the 1% of bite victims that are immune “ Noah replied with a sarcastic sigh, trying to not even let his mind go there. Because it would be just his fucking luck to be the one person in the history of the Kalani Pack who had ever been immun.. But no. He couldn’t be immune, he had Alpha blood in his veins. From two [i]different[/i] alphas. This was his birthright, and once it happened everything would be as it should be in the world. Pushing the worry out of his mind though Noah focused on Reza and the small little beacon of warmth that started pulsing in his chest once that revealed he had been going to therapy. “Wow. That’s really great Reza. Like honestly, i’m like-” Noah breathed pausing to try to gather his thoughts the flood of emotions hitting him like a brick. Because while everything was outwardly the same with the boy staring back at him, inwardly Reza [i]had[/i] changed. Reza had taken his advice and done something that took courage to do. And even if they never got back together Noah would always be glad that he’d helped Reza with that. That reza even felt comfortable telling him this. “Wow I’m like really fucking proud of you Reza.” Noah continued smiling at Reza “Like really fucking proud. Like you have no idea how proud of you I am right now.” He was smiling ear to ear now, something it seemed like he hadn’t done in a while “And goddamn like therapy? Meditation? It’s like you got body snatched or something while I was away” He teased out sticking his tongue out at the other boy, his body falling back into this playful banter so easily.

The giant smile, now directed at Reza and not just a general thing, was making the vampire lightheaded. Those dimples looked even more amazing than ever, especially coupled with the words of encouragement being repeated again and again and really, if Noah had told him he was proud one more time, Reza just might have imploded. "Thanks," he chuckled shyly, trying to get his body and mind to behave. Something that wasn't really easy to do with Noah's tongue making a playful appearance, Reza's adam's apple bouncing as he swallowed thickly and prayed the other boy was too tired to notice. Because how could Reza's mind not accidentally slide back to that night, as badly as it had ended. That damn smile and the twinkling eyes were bound to draw Reza back to happier memories. "Yeah, I uh... guess I sort of did. Had an awakening or whatever. Even managed to make a friend to practice all that communicating on so my, uh... talking myself down is kinda being held in check. And maybe we can do that whole meditating thing together sometime when you're better." A second spent to wonder if that was assuming too much from their current relationship, before he quickly moved on. "But I definitely owe you like... a lot. It hasn't been that long but I think the therapist might actually be helping so... thank you. Really." The genuine smile turned shy, hands resuming their fiddling as he added the last part. "Anyway, it's just really fucking good to see you."

“You even made a friend too? Wow and all I did was be sad about shit and drink, then decide not to be sad about shit” Noah mused with a playful shrug, before wincing slightly. Ugggh the goddamn bite mark. Fuck he would be so happy when all of this was over. Realizing though he was successfully bringing the mood down he hastily continued speaking. “But I’m not exactly sure i’m your guy for meditation?” Noah left it more as a question, hoping Reza wouldn’t take it the wrong way “My therapist made me try it too and I just can’t sit still long enough for it to be effective. So naturally we settled on running or going for a walk for me. But I definitely want to offer support wherever I can. So like if you need another accountability partner or something, like I’m down for that. I really probably need to start going more myself.” Because it was true, Noah had gotten down to only needing to go to his therapist once a month instead of weekly. But with the kidnapping, and the break up, and now this whole trying to be happy and whole thing involving his werewolf side, he could probably use a bit more therapy right about now, if only to get him all of these heavy feelings out of his mind. “But yea, its good to see you too.” He nodded before looking down at his own hands “Actually I really missed you.” Because it was true, despite their status as broken up, Noah had missed Reza. He had missed talking to him about his problems. He had missed Reza’s small but strong arms holding him close and snuggling him when he was sad about his family. But all of that was neither here nor there right now. And sparked Noah to remember the package on the kitchen counter he’d laid out just for this occasion “Oh shit before I forget I may have gotten you something. Or a couple somethings.”

"Deciding to not be sad about shit is...uh, good" Reza almost trailed off completely at the sight of Noah's face, pain flashing over it for a brief moment. It was enough to have the vampire just about ready to pounce to provide (unnecessary) assistance but it seemed like Noah wanted to brush it off. Fuck. Not that there was anything Reza could really do about a giant bite wound, and the dogs were definitely providing enough emotional support but still. This was a special form of torture right here. "I can settle for accountability partner," Reza quickly agreed, smile playing on his lips. Any continued contact with Noah was a win in his book. Hearing Noah say that he'd missed him, out of the blue, was like a splash of cold water but in the best way. Which made no sense but it did leave Reza speechless, struggling to come up with anything that wouldn't just be an emotional mess. Because they were two adults, talking like mature people and Reza couldn't ruin that. As much as he wanted to cuddle up against Noah and tell him just how fucking bad he'd been missed as well. A possible reality sometime soon, even, if he didn't fuck this up. "You, uh... wow. I feel like saying 'you didn't have to' is kinda redundant so... thanks. Or maybe I should say thanks after I see those somethings?" he added, chuckling awkwardly because Noah had gotten him gifts.

“Good. I think that sounds-” Noah paused not really knowing how to say what he was feeling at the moment And maybe he should have waited to do this meeting until after he changed. Until he had his emotions in check and didn’t want to just the all this growth out the window in favor of comfort cuddles and his own personal vampire butler. But maybe this was good for the both of them in a way, to experience the growth of the other person while it was still happening. If only to prove that they were changing. For each other. “-good. Accountability partners sounds good.” He nodded finishing the thought. Snorting slightly at Reza’s chuckle Noah grinned. “I have a feeling one of the presents you are going to hate on principle. But I bought it anyway because I thought it would look good on you regardless” He said before mentally preparing himself to move again. “Haukea. Caleb. Down” Noah chirped watching as his dogs listened effortlessly to his commands. Or well one of them did at least. “Caleb” Noah said sternly the weight of his glare forcing the other puppy to slowly extricate himself from Noah’s legs “Good dogs” he whispered as he planted his feet and slowly got up, half expecting the vampire to be on him in a second. But the dogs were still circling affording the other no room, something of which Noah counted as a bit of a win. Finally making it to the counter after what seemed like ages (ok it took only a minute but who’s counting) Noah took the neatly wrapped package and placed it gently on the floor next to Caleb “Take” He commanded the younger dog as Caleb dutifully grabbed the present by the handle tail giving a slight wag. “Give” He said again to him with a smile, finger pointing toward where the vampire was sitting. And sure enough seconds later Caleb was bounding over toward the vampire plopping the gift bag right at his feet body practically wiggling with excitement over a job well done.

Reza was starting to physically squirm as Noah made the painfully slow journey to the other side of the room. Aside from the inner battle of wanting to carry Noah back to the safety of the couch while also knowing that the werewolf would hate that and could make his own decisions, Reza was also on the edge of implosion just because of the whole gift ordeal. Agreeing to even meeting him had been a big enough gift in Reza's mind but coming back with memorabilia from Hawaii was so very Noah that it almost wasn't surprising. Almost. Managing to keep his excited ass on the sofa, he was awarded with Caleb trodding over and threatening to make Reza's heart burst. The excited wagging coupled with Noah's proud smile... fuck, not bursting into tears right then and there was becoming really hard. "Good boy," Reza cooed, fingers running through the soft fur and filling his body with warmth - almost as much as the gift bag he raised into his lap. "I'm impressed with your teacher skills," Reza added to Noah, smile lighting up his own face right up until he dug out the first item in the bag. "That is... very red." Holding the flaming red Aloha shirt up, eyes moving from the flower-speckled material to Noah, Reza finally just placed the first gift (most likely the one Reza would hate on principle - man, he hoped this was it) to the side and moved on to the safety of something that was less of a fashion statement. The black beaded bracelet had to be something with an explanation and it filled Reza with an urge to return the favor of getting Noah jewellery (easy, there). "Very neat," he commented honestly, wondering if feedback on everything in the bag was necessary or just awkward while he slipped it on and pulled out the final thing. A hawaiian themed fridge magnet. Huffing out a laugh, Reza fiddled with the bag as words made themselves very hard to find. "See you're still intent on making my apartment look presentable. Even though this might make my fridge look way more appealing than it actually is, considering the contents of it." Heaving out a heavy breath that did nothing to quell the fluttering in his stomach, Reza finally returned his gaze to Noah. "Thanks. I love it." A quick glance over at the shirt. "All of it. I think."

Letting Caleb take some of the focus off of himself Noah shuffled back to the couch, feeling relatively ok for the moment. I mean he was still in pain yes but as long as he moved slowly and kept his heart rate to a minimum everything seemed to work out. Which was nice. Because the last thing he wanted to do was like accidentally pass out in front of his already worried ex boyfriend. Watching Reza open the present as he settled back down on the couch Noah couldn’t help but smile. Reza had had exactly the reaction he thought he would to the Hawaiian shirt. “I thought you needed some more color” He said with a shit eating grin. “Oh and those are kukui nuts.” Noah commented as Reza pulled the next item out of the bag “They’re usually what male leis are made up of in traditional Hawaiian stuff” He explained if only because he knew Reza had no idea. Grinning again though at the next present Noah just basked in the slight glow of having picked both simultaneous bad and good presents, a feat he knew from experience was hard to get just right. “I’m glad you like it. All of it” Noah said gently before the air started to stale in front of them. Because wow did this kinda make things awkward now “Also I’m sorry if all of this makes things weird. I was just.” Noah paused wondering how truthful he wanted to be with Reza but then fucking it and telling him anyway “I was having a rough time thinking about my dad, and well this” He waved toward the bit wound on his neck “ And I just. Needed some retail therapy. And I was… thinking about you. And Just.” Shit. Noah could feel the tangle of emotions start to well up, all of the sadness and the anger welling up in his chest. Pushing it down though Noah took a breath. “I’m really just a mess right now” He whispered out looking down at his hands instead of at Reza.

"Needed some color," Reza parroted back in a mocking mutter that lost all its punch due to the grin on his face, matching the pleased one on Noah's. But as was with all good things, it seemed, they could never just fucking last. Something shifted and Reza's heart wrenched, expecting the worst for a moment, hand tightening around the new bracelet. The sudden spill of emotion was the last thing he'd been prepared for but the familiarity of it was still a welcome relief. If he couldn't do a whole lot of anything else to help Noah, at least he could fucking listen. And break his personal vow about not asking for a hug because how the hell could he not? Noah looked like a kicked puppy and Reza could not deal. "Since things are already weird can I... I mean, would it be really fucking inappropriate if I hugged you right now? I get it if you wanna say no but you just... kinda look like you need one." Please say yes

It was funny how Noah knew in that moment, that his heart was going to win over his head. How he knew in only an instant that he was going to ignore every rational warning sign that he needed to be careful around Reza or he’d fall right back in to those deep brown eyes. But for right now Noah didn’t care. Ok well actually no that was a lie. Noah did care, very much so. But listening to the progress that Reza was making with himself, and knowing that the both of them were suffering, Noah physically, and Reza more mentally…. Who was Noah to say no to comfort? Because friends hugged, and Reza was still his friend. One of his best friends actually, something Noah had come to realize through their month of no contact. So without even another word Noah nodded, before becoming aware that that really wasn’t an answer. “Yea, you can hug me” he said softly hoping that was all the confirmation Reza needed. Scooting over in his nest Noah curled up into as small of a ball as his hulking frame could go, without aggravating his injury or the dogs that has resumed their take over of the couch.

"Thank fuck," Reza found himself sighing, barely audibly, at the confirmation, not really sure how he would have handled a no. Not wasting a second, he made his way over to the much too appealing pile of dogs and person he sort of helplessly loved, somehow managing to make space for himself in between the furballs. His stomach flipped over with nerves and the smell of Noah, absolutely intoxicating and shamefully, even more so with the open wound. But that wasn't the point here now. The point was that Reza could finally get his arms around Noah and even though they were nowhere near as scrawny as during their first weird cuddle sessions, they still felt small around the curled up body. The familiar sound of Noah's heart was another luxury, provided when Reza's head leaned against his shoulder despite every cell in his body begging him to go in for the chest. This was just a friendly hug. Yeah. "I'm sorry things are shit," he mumbled, revelling in every second of this before it would have to end. "But hopefully your mess will get better soon. And if not, I'm, uh... I'm here. For you. Not like this, literally like right here cause that's...weird." Reza chuckled awkwardly at himself as he reluctantly shifted his weight and extracted his arms, yet making no move to actually leave the couch. "Bad joke," he muttered, unable to get the smile off his face.

Like an addict getting that one last hit, Noah could feel himself physically relaxing underneath Reza’s touch. And he knew just how unhealthy this behavior was, but at the moment the heart wanted what it wanted despite his head screaming no. So against all better judgement he let his head snuggle closer in the crook of Reza’s arm snorting at the other’s attempt at joking. snorted at Reza’s attempt at humor “Wow. A month away from me and it’s like you forgot how to even tell one” Because oh sweet lord that was bad. “But thank you.” Noah continued feeling better already with just this little bit of touch from Reza and the dogs. Letting the silence wash over them for a few moments though Noah figured now was as good a time as any to talk about what this meeting was actually for.“Sooooo I hate to do it, but um should we talk about us?” It came out quietly more like a whisper than anything audible, Noah’s heart fluttering widely in his chest. Because he did still did want to be with Reza that much was evident, but communication was a part of the reason why their relationship had crumbled in the first place. So if there was even any hope of this working again they needed to be honest with each other, even if it meant asking the hard questions.

Chuckling quietly along with Noah, never wanting this moment to end, Reza saved every detail of it in case everything went the worst possible way. Which he really hoped it wouldn't but life was tricky that way. "Joke's on you, I've never known how to tell one. Just been bluffing this whole time." And yeah, continuing this easy and safe conversation would have been really nice but it wasn't what they were here for. This much harder path they were heading down was the important thing. "We sort of have to, don't we?" he attempted lightheartedly despite the stone in his stomach. "Guess I'll start off by saying you were right. About us needing a break, I mean. It's, uhm... yeah, it was good. I mean, it was the fucking worst but it was good. And I guess I'm... still sort of kinda hoping that it's still just a break and not..." Reza cleared his throat, forcing down the stupid voice crack, fingers fiddling away at rings. Looking at the dogs right now was much easier than watching Noah. "Not a, uh, break up. So that's where I'm... at."

Noah rolled his eyes at the other before sitting up a bit more. Because this needed his full attention, no matter how much he wanted to just wrap himself in Reza. “Ok.” Noah acknowledged once the other was finished, a hand absentmindedly running through his hair, chewing over his own thoughts “I think.” Noa paused eyes now down at his own hands “I think I want the same things too, but. Logically I think that we still need to work on things. Individually. Like I mean I’m changing into a fucking werewolf or christ sakes” Noah sighed out almost playfully, the absurdity in in words definitely not lost on him at all “So can we just like… can we just like not break up, but take a beat and go back to square one of this relationship maybe?” He asked quietly hoping Reza would understand what he was trying to say. “Like let’s just talk for a while. Get to know the new versions of ourselves. Take it slow you know”

Reza really couldn't have asked for a better consensus. Yeah, the impatient part of him that had clawed its way into making a hug happen was still very much hoping that things could take off from where they'd ended, all hands and touching but thankfully, Reza was managing to stuff that part down with logic. Well, logic and the idea of this maybe becoming a real relationship and not whatever they'd had going on before. "Square one sounds pretty good," Reza agreed softly, trying to keep his cool despite the pure elation shining through the brown eyes. "Like a do-over where I don't have to wonder if you're straight or not and you actually know you're chatting up Edward Cullen." The joke was weak, a slight improvement on the earlier one but really, Reza didn't give a shit. This meant he could talk to Noah again who, even after everything, was sort of still his best friend. Only friend, really, before Eddie and that was... complex. "I'm, uh... excited to get to meet the new better Noah." The statement was accompanied with a genuine smile, Reza's eyes finally daring to look up from the dogs.

“Me too” Noah replied softly letting the moment wash over him “Me too”. if you had told Noah a month ago that he would be sitting on the couch with Reza again talking about how many changes they were making for the better would have said you were lying. But looking at it from this side of things. From the side of healing, Noah knew there was no place he’d rather be.

#touchofchatzy #Chatzy #rezathevamp #storyline: sun and moon #//cheezy ending for a cheesy couple #ALSO HERE TAKE IT #HAVE THE SUN AND MOON FLUFF YOU HAVE BEEN DEPRIVED OF

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hawaiianhalfwolf · 6 years ago

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Know Who You Are P.2 | Solo

Noah arrives back in Ashkent after a month in Hawai’i with more than just a few souvenirs

Shutting the door, Noah gave the roof of the little Honda civic a friendly pat and a smile, watching as his best friend Ross reversed out of the driveway. Normally Noah would have asked Cahill to come and pick him up from the airport (and Cahill probably would have come anyway if Noah hadn’t vehemently told him not to) but that would have made this whole thing ten times worse and he knew it.

Walking up the steps Noah could practically feel the building pulse with the amount of people inside, the playful screaming of the young children heard from the backyard. His gut twisted slightly with the weight of what he had to do next. The last thing Noah wanted to do was disrupt this perfect pack tranquility. But like Noah, it seemed as if the pack had been collectively holding their breath for a long time, wondering, waiting for an answer he finally felt ready to give.

Twisting the knob of the door, the large boy let it swing open, the chorus of pack noises assaulting his senses. He could hear the tell tale sounds of Call of Duty wafting in from the den, mixed in with the squeals of happiness as someone saw him. “Why didn’t you text me to pick you up jerk!” Sasha yelled at him, with a frown after she launched herself at him, fist punching him lightly as he was passed around to the other members of the pack. Hands patted his back, and arms pulled him into a hug more times than he could remember, hellos and smiles passed around with each interaction. Part of him wished that he didn’t call this meeting so soon after arriving, his brain not really wanting to put on his forced happy smile, but this was a weight he had needed to get off his chest for the longest time. So now as as good as any.

Cutting through all the rest of the banter and hugs though Noa felt a small wet nose being thrust into his knees a wiggling yellow body trying to get his attention. “Kea!” Noah exclaimed before dropping instantly to the ground hands going into the yellow fur on her neck. God fucking damn he missed his damn dog so much it was unreal. Sitting there Noah let himself be licked all over, with excited paws almost knocking him over. But it was safe to say Noah was alright with everything until the short sad whine punctured the excitement, a sign he had definitely been gone way to long. “I know I know daddy’s not leaving again ok. Not for a long time” Noah whispered wrapping his arms around his frantic pup, the sadness in his chest almost threatening to break through. He hadn’t meant to be gone this long.

Standing he accepted the beer someone thrust into his hands, eyes searching for his Uncle. Cahill had uncharacteristically kept his distance this whole time, as if he knew this homecoming was different that the rest. That he’d sent off a different kid than the one that was standing here in front of him.

“Hey” he said embracing his uncle purposefully avoiding the other’s eyes. And it was a bitch move of him he knew, one that probably set off every single warning bell in Cahill’s mind.

And as suddenly as it had all started, it was broken by a small throat clear, everyone including Noah turning towards Charlie. “Sooooo Noah.” He said moving slightly to get out of the way for a small child to come barrel past the adults and out the sliding glass door. “Uh people may have been wondering….”

“Ew Charlie speak for yourself” Sasha interjected as she slid into the kitchen, illiciting a small chuckle from the crowd around island. Rolling his eyes at her the older man’s hands going back to his red solo cup. “Ok fine I may have been wondering,” Charlie corrected “Uh, and like this is not like me not loving your homecoming or anything.” He looked around at the others, shifting his weight from foot to foot slightly “But uh why are we all here Noah?”

It was said into silence, as eyes turned to their youngest, charlie asking the one question one everyone’s mind.

Why were they here?

It wasn’t unusual to have pack meetings after all, but it was unusual was for someone like Noah to call one. Someone who wasn’t exactly pack, but wasn’t exactly one of their humans either. At least… not yet.

Drawing a quick breath (as well as a swig of his beer for strength) Noah figure it was now or never “Well I called this meeting because I thought it would be better to tell you all at once. But uh,” Noah started before pausing, needing a second to gather himself. And he’d gone over everything he was going to say on the plane, every goddamn word. But now standing in front of them, the pack, his family, people who had known him since he was born he almost didn’t have the courage to say it. After this everything would change, and while he didn’t want to change it had to. It simply Had to.

Pulling himself up to his full height, Noah knew he was going to need every inch of his tall frame, every ounce of strength if he was to do this, as if somehow just his size alone would prove he was making the right decision. Looking around at all the faces in the circle waiting with baited breath Noah’s willful brown eyes met another larger pair of willful brown eyes. Cahill would be angry at him for asking him to do this, for asking him to bring him to the brink of death by his own hands, but it wouldn’t change Noah’s mind. And in a way it was fitting that it was just him and Cahill staring each other down, one alpha spirit to the next as Noah uttered the one sentence that would change the Kalani pack dynamic forever.

“I want to be bitten this full moon.” He said quietly, challenging eyes still locked on his Alpha’s as the entire kitchen erupted into chaos around them

#solo: know who you are #touchofsolo #solo #storyline: how far i'll go #//WHOOMP THERE IT IS

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hawaiianhalfwolf · 7 years ago

Text

From Dusk ‘Till Dawn | Flashback

Unfinished Chatzy between Reza Burki and Noah Kalani. Takes place the eve of September 21st.

If Noah had been smarter he would have skateboarded to the beach this day. But today had not been a smart day for Noah. In fact if Noah had to pick a day every year where he might exhibit some less that great ideals he would pick this day every time. Why? Because today would have been his little brother’s 19th birthday. Sighing into his empty bottle of Jack Noah got up from the steps, the wind buffeting his face, he probably needed to go home before he made more stupid decisions. But the night was still young and Noah still had one bad decision to try to make. Pulling his car keys out of his pocket once he got to the parking lot Noah assessed himself mentally. He was fine to drive right? Gripping his keys in one hand he guided his hand slowly to the door brow furrowed in concentration, but that didn’t stop the keys from slipping out of his drunken grip. Fuck. Leaning over to pick up the keys Noah didn’t even realize he was falling till it was too late his hands coming out to awkwardly break, well whatever this awkward beached whale falling into the side of his truck move was. Shit. Pulling himself up drunkenly against the chevy Noah took a deep breath head spinning. No no. This wasn’t right. He could not drive like this even if he could actually find his keys. Taking out his phone Noah pressed the buttons with fingers that felt too large, fuzzy head not really knowing what he was doing. He needed to call someone, cahill probably, but ooops. The call was already dialing, the name Reza Burki popping up against the caller id. Putting the phone to his ear Noah listened for the sound of someone picking up, head now leaning against the side of his truck “Rezaaaaaa,” he slurred once he heard someone else on the line “So this is gonna sssound vary sexual. But I sssswear, I dun mean it like the sex. Erll today its not sssex. But uhh do you know how drrrive stick?”

Reza rarely expected his phone to ring these days except every Friday when Nadia called him with an update on their ammi jaan, so feeling the vibrating against his thigh at this time of the evening made his eyebrows furrow in confusion. The fact that Noah's name lit up on the screen only piled onto the lack of understanding and he quickly picked up. "Hell--" “Rezaaaaaa.” Reza cringed away from the receiver, the loud noise like a bang against his eardrums in the otherwise quiet basement. Noah was... drunk? Scratch that, very drunk. Reza was already on his feet as Noah mumbled something about not being sexual which made his stomach flip despite the context. "I can." Not very well but still, it'd have to do. "Noah, where are you?" he asked, already slipping into his army boots, worry replacing the confusion from before. Reza had been drunk on that caliber more than once and rarely in a nice situation. Noah might have been a big lug with a werewolf kidney but drunk Noah could easily be in some sort of trouble. "I'm coming to get you."

Smiling into the nothingness of the night when Reza picked up Noah’s heart fluttered at his voice. He picked up, he did! Switching gears though was a bit difficult with his brain in the state that it was and it took him a second to realize that Reza was asking for his location“I amm” Noah paused thinking deeply. He was, he was, where was he now? God he should know he drove here himself. Reaching down Noah put his hand in his pocket thinking there might be something in there to tell him where he was “Ssand in my pocket” he murmured into the phone in a slightly bemused tone. Why was there sand in his pocket? And why was it so fun to play with? Noah chuckled before Reza’s voice came back on the phone and held his attention again “You aree?” Noah questioned as if he’d forgotten already what he had called about, oh a ride home yes, Reza was coming to give him a ride home. But that’s when the slight drunken panic set in. Reza couldn’t see him like this it would ruin everything “Oh noooo no” He paused trying to get up, the ground practically spinning out from under him again, especially as he struggled to keep a grip on his phone “I’m no pressentable Rezaaa. Can’t come. The stars. Not today”

It was nice and dark outside as Reza emerged from the basement into the small alley, still clutching the phone. Sand? Was Noah at the beach? Why the hell would he be drunk and alone there? unless he wasn't alone... Honestly, Reza had no idea what was going on but he was coming to help his friend either way. Even though Noah seemed to be objecting profusely. "Noah," Reza tried to cut off the rambling, grip tightening around the phone. "Don't be an idiot. I'm coming to get you, just stay where you are and let me come find you. Or I'm gonna stay out looking for you all night until the sun comes up and that would be pretty dangerous for me." Relying heavily on Noah caring enough about Reza to take this deal, but he was already trying to hail a cab to get him to the damn beach. "So just stay, ok? Please."

Leaning against the side of his truck (although standing this time) Noah tried to get his mind to stop doing somersaults inside of his skull cavity. Wow, the jack was hitting him real fast today. Probably cuz he hadn’t eaten much. Shit. Listening to Reza though Noah realized the gravity of what Reza was saying. No he wouldn’t do that just for him right? “No. No ssssunlight for vampire.” Noah said pointedly hands pulling him along the side of his truck “You burn and tthhen I no friend.” Because it was true, if Reza was gone he would have the others yea. But there was something about Reza that was different. A good different. One that made Noah want him around more. Mind made up Noah dragged himself to the end of his truck. If he put the tailgate down he could lay down in the bed till Reza got here right? Right. Catching the last of Reza’s plea Noah couldn’t help but chuckle “Dog, funny” He laughed hands coming around to try to find the latch to the gate. But it was useless with one hand, he was going to need two for this. “I need put down” he whispered into the phone as he placed it on the side of his truck. To others it would have been placed super precariously, but to Noah’s drunken mind it was perfect. Finding the latch amid the swirling brain syndrome Noah let it down with a jolt, his phone luckily falling into the rubber bed may and not onto the asphalt “Uh oh” Noah said swinging his leg up once, twice, three times before he got it to where he wanted to be. Pulling himself up and onto the bed (through some drunken miracle) He picked it up again still crawling into the bed of his truck “Everything good In bed now Reza” he murmured not knowing exactly why he was keeping the other kid updated.

Reza wasn't sure why exactly Noah was still rambling on after having agreed to stay put and not get himself into more trouble but it was reassuring. At least hearing Noah's voice on the phone meant that he was still alive and not... running into the ocean or stumbling into a bar full of predators or whatever the else horrible scenario Reza's brain could easily provide. "Yeah, dog jokes," he replied softly and then listened quietly and almost fondly to all the commotion as Noah did something that apparently resulted in him lying down. Good. "That's good. I'm on my way, Noah." Being in the cab and en route calmed Reza down because it meant he was closer to making sure his friend was safe. Unsurprisingly, he heard Noah's breathing start to slow through the receiver. Fuck, what if he hadn't called Reza? Would he have just lain down somewhere on the beach and fallen asleep? It was pretty chilly outside and half werewolf or not... No, it was fine, it didn't matter because Reza was close to the beach and things would be fine. Hopefully. Despite there being no more talking, Reza didn't dare hang up until he spotted Noah's familiar truck by where the street met the sand. Rushing to pay the cab fare, he scrambled towards the truck. Familiar feet stuck out from the end of the truck's bed and he approached carefully. "Noah? Hey man, are you okay?" His voice was gentle and after a moment of consideration, Reza also gave Noah's leg a little squeeze to check if there was any sort of consciousness. At least he was alive, if his heartbeat was any indication. "It's Reza."

Turning Noah basically collapsed on his back on the truck bed, letting the sound of the waves run in his tipsy turvy mind. Letting his hand fall down from its place next to his ear Noah just laid there trying not to think. Because that’s what this whole day had been about right, trying not to think about how Jude should be. How he should look now. Would he have looked like him? Probably. I mean Jude had always been smaller than Noah but then again Noah had been small too until high school. And he would have been sweet, the nicest boy you’d ever met. With an equally nice girlfriend “Or boyfriend” Noah whispered to the stars above him his chest constricting again. Fuck. Yea this was why he drank, he needed the numbness to keep all the pain away. God. Though as he wiped a tear from his eyes that when Noah felt a presence, someone gently calling his name “Jude?” Noah asked the stars quietly eyes blinking into the night, looking for a sign, anything. But that’s when he remembered Jude was dead. Jude was dead and buried and never coming back. Breathing it all back into that place in his mind where he kept the bad stuff Noah tried awkwardly to get up, eyes now looking at Reza “You cam. Why did you?” He asked still trying to turtle his way to a sitting position.

Jude? Reza felt his chest tighten when Noah called out the unfamiliar name, wondering if he was expecting someone else. A closer friend to come help him out. The thought was pushed aside by how desperately Noah needed assistance as he tried to scramble to an upright position and Reza instinctively grabbed onto the man for support. "Because you're my... you're my friend and you're drunk. I'm here to get you home without killing yourself," he explained softly, thankful for his strength as he used it to drag Noah's heavy mass off the truck bed and back onto the asphalt. He stood on his feet now, but probably would have crumbled if Reza hadn't wrapped his huge arm over his shoulder to carry all his weight. "C'mon, I'm not driving with you on the back of the truck." Stumbling along with Noah hanging over his much smaller frame, Reza somehow managed to get the drunken sap of sadness into the passenger seat. Next to it on the ground lay the car keys and Reza rolled his eyes. Now he knew what every person that had ever taken care of him like this felt. Still, it was far from bothersome and Reza's heart really just ached for Noah because behind the swimming eyes was something broken and the vampire had no idea what had been shattered there.

Thankful for the helping hand in righting himself Noah leaned on Reza slightly hoping that the new found pounding in his head was temporary. Even if the hurt in his chest wasn’t. “Should allllready be killed, so I’m just live on borrowed time” Noah murmured softly towards Reza’s comment about not killing himself. Because in some ways it was true, Noah had been in more life or death experiences than was probably normal for a man of only 22. It was only a matter of time before the powers that be caught up with him. Leaning on Reza as the other boy helped him out of the truck, Noah relished the closeness, the scent that he had come to recognize as the angsty punk boy mingling with his own. He wished he wasn’t so drunk so he could savor this moment, but then again if he wasn’t drunk he wouldn’t be having this moment would he? Leaning against the side of the truck while reza bent down for the keys Noah petted the side of his chevy absentmindedly “You ssstronger than look. I bet you could carry all me” Noah smiled out, the idea making him happy. Yea small little reza just picking him up bridal style would be so funny. But what wasn’t funny was how Noah and Reza struggled to get Noah’s body into the passenger seat, Noah’s legs just not seeming to want to work like normal. They somehow managed it though the door closing shut next to the large hawaiian boy, and Noah taking the chance to lean his head on the cold window, the thoughts of Jude making him wary again. Would his little brother have done this for him if he’s been around? Or rather would Noah have been bad enough that Jude would have had to do this if he was still alive? Watching as Reza climbed into his seat though Noah snuggled his head against the window some more, eyes roaming over the boy next to him. “Gear sticky in 3” Noah commented for lack of anything else to say as he felt the engine roar to life underneath him.

"Got it." Reza felt much too small in the large truck as he got used to the clutch, glancing over at Noah who was somehow managing to look small as well. The way he curled himself up against the window felt familiar; uncomfortably so. Reza had definitely favored this position of making himself small in the world but something in him was shifted now. He couldn't make himself so small because he wasn't. Which was why it was rather unnerving to see someone as outwardly confident and happy as Noah looking like... that. Rolling the truck carefully out onto the street, his focus on driving since he wasn't legally allowed to, Reza still kept glancing over at the drunk mess next to him with comforting smiles. "You're okay, it's all going to be fine," Reza kept murmuring under his breath although he wasn't sure whether it was for Noah's benefit or not; he was so fucking relieved that everything was physically okay with Noah. Mentally, however... Reza had no clue. It didn't take too long to get back to Noah's house and Reza killed the engine, making no move to get out of the car. "Are you..." Okay? Obviously not. "What do you wanna do?" he asked quietly, eyes locked on Noah. "I can take you inside or... not. I can just leave, too, if you wanna be alone, just... you gotta tell me what you need."

”You're okay, it's all going to be fine,” the words kept swirling in Noah’s mind and he just wanted it to stop. Because People always said that to him. They always said that he was going to be fine. But he wasn’t ok, he wasn’t fine and that was apparent to anyone who knew him half a damn. But that was the problem though right? He has never let anyone besides maybe Sasha to see just how broken he was. To see just how much duct tape was holding his ‘nice’ heart together. Because if they did they wouldn’t want anything to do with him. “Know nothing Jon snow” He whispered against the glass of the window, barely registering that they’d reached their destination Sitting there though Noah tried not to shake his head. Reza was doing it. The thing. The ‘What do you need? I’m trying to help you thing’ But Reza didn’t realize Noah was beyond help now. Because his problem didn’t have a solution. His problem was the fact that he’d somehow survived the fucking accident and all of his more deserving family members didn’t. And he had to live with that, every second of every day of his mediocre life. “I need” Noah paused, it was getting too hot, he was too hot, and his eyes felt stingy, just like they did before he started crying. But he couldn’t cry in front of Reza. He couldn’t do it. So reaching for the handle to the door Noah somehow opened it, legs actually doing the right thing for once and catching him before he face planted against the gravel drive. Stumbling across the damn gravel driveway (he’d have to talk to cahill about putting in cement because gravel was a real fucking hazard for drunk people) Noah reached towards the safety of the porch and the house. But the world had other plans for him tonight and as soon as he felt he might succeed in running from the pain he was falling down down again. Bracing himself against it intuitively Noah stopped himself from smacking his face against the grass, his body instead rolling to the side. Laying there Noah could feel the tears he had been fighting back start to slide down his cheek, a slight pain shooting up through one of his wrists. God damn it what a fucking sad sack he was wasn’t he. Still crying over his dead family after 8 fucking years. In front of his crush no less. Who had to fucking drive him home because he was too much of a sloppy alcoholic to keep it together. God damn it “Fuck” Noah said out loud bringing a hand to wipe against his eyes. Reza was surely starting to fret now and it was just. “FUCK” Noah just screamed as he slammed his fist into the grass the swirl of emotions getting the best of him.

This was awful. It had gone from maybe something Reza could deal with to a situation that made him want to go sprinting in the other direction in a matter of seconds. He didn't know how to deal with his own emotions, much less someone else's, and especially something on this caliber. It was harrowing and Reza sat glued to his seat for a good two or three minutes as his brain struggled to wrap around some solution. Except there wasn't a solution. He knew very fucking well that stuff like this couldn't be fixed, there hadn't been any 'fixing' Reza at his lowest and the only thing that had kept him from sinking further had just been... having someone around? Maybe... Hands shaking without his permission, Reza exited the truck and his feet crunched across the gravel towards Noah. Sitting down a slight distance from Noah on the damp ground, Reza wrapped his arms around his legs, the silence deafening and broken only by Noah's erratic breathing. "I'm sorry," he said finally for a lack of a better thing to say. "I'm sorry that whatever's happening or happened or whatever is this... fucking awful. Just... whatever it is, I'm... I don't know, here. If you want me." He finally risked a glance at Noah, his heart aching. "'Cause I've... been there. Still am, sometimes. So I... get it. I mean, I don't get what you feel but I get... this." He winced, wondering if he was just making the situation worse with this rambling. He just wanted to help. "So I'm good with just sitting here for a while and... cursing at the world because it's shit. Or whatever."

Letting the pain of his punch radiate through him Noah just laid there, the damp grass starting to soak through to his Jeans. But it didn’t matter at this point. Everything was going to shit after all, so what the fuck was wet pants going to do to him that the world hadn’t? Feeling Reza start to walk over though Noah tried desperately to wipe his tears again. He was strong Noah after all. Drunk yes, but definitely not crying like a small child while someone like Reza had to pick him up off the floor. No No No. But Reza didn’t say anything really, or touch him, or try to make it ok. He just sat there knees pulled close to his chest. What the fuck was he doing? But it was then Noah hear it the soft “I’m sorry” It wasn’t a ‘let me help you’ or a ‘what do you need?’ or all the other things people always said when they felt like he needed saving. No. It was just a simple acknowledgement of his pain. A simple statement of fact that someone was here for him, someone understood how it was to be this unhappy at your circumstance. And that was worth more to Noah than anything, anything in the world. Feeling the anger retreat like the pulling of the tide against the shoreline Noah took a deep breath knowing he owed Reza words, something, anything. “He w-w-would be your age. Jude” Noah whispered, not knowing exactly why he was saying this, to Reza of all people. Reza who had his own problems and Reza who would probably never like him again (if at all) once he knew all of these things, and just so pure Reza. So untainted by Noah’s pile of steaming dog shit (all puns intended). But there was something in him that knew if he didn’t say it, the thoughts would eat him alive. Something in him that felt he owed this to Reza for staying through this horrible shitty time in his so Noah kept going, somehow pulling himself up into a sitting position “It w-would be birthday today.” He started tears flowing freely down his face. Mirroring Reza Noah pulled his knees to his chest the act making him feel better “I mean [i]should[/i] be hisss birthday. But I- I couldn’t save him.” It was the first time he’d said it out loud, or rather the first time he admitted that feeling to more than a paid professional. “And I know I ssshouldn’t b-b-be this way.” He said hugging his knees a little closer “But just hurts too much ssssometimes”

Reza was surprised to hear Noah actually speak; he would have honestly been comfortable just sitting here for a while doing and saying nothing. It was underrated, staying in silence. At least the sort of silence that you could share with someone. But Noah was apparently willing to share something else and Reza was more than willing to listen. The name from before resurfaced and that was when it started to ring a bell. Jude, the young boy that Reza had barely known personally, but he had shown up to the memorial service that the school held after he'd drowned. Jude... Kalani. Shit. Oh, man, how had he not made the connection. It had been years ago but still... Noah wasn't whole at all but he'd held up a pretty fucking impressive facade all this time. With the other man finally sitting, Reza dared to slide a little bit closer, if only so he could better hear what was being said but also because physical presence was all Reza felt he could offer right now. The words hung between them for a little while before Reza finally dared to speak. "I'm sorry," he said again, this time with even more sadness tinting his voice. "But it's not... there's nothing wrong with it. Being like... like this. Feeling like this. It's awful and shitty and time makes it better but it doesn't take it all away. When you love someone like that--" Reza choked on the rest of his sentence, feeling wrong for a second for comparing his own love lost to Noah's because Reza's had been sick and twisted but... still, the loss had been real. "And you've probably heard this like, a thousand times but... you can't save everyone." He turned his head to look at Noah again. "And I know it's not like a... trade deal but you're sorta... I don't know, helping me out. More than you know, actually. So I'm glad that you at least managed to save yourself so it's not just... selfish or unfair that you're alive or whatever. Lots of people that are pretty fucking happy you're around." More silence. "Was he just like you?"

Placing his head on his knees Noah just sat there for a moment letting the silence wash over him. He was waiting for Reza to get up and leave. Because he should, I mean he had his own problems after all, why deal with Noah’s too? But Reza didn’t do that, no instead of running he crept closer, a certain warmth filling the space between them as words flowed. And it wasn’t that Noah hadn’t heard these words in some shape or form before (because he had, multiple times) it was the fact that they were being said by someone who had no obligation to say them that made Noah really listen. Because yea, Reza was right. And he knew that. I mean he knew that feeling this way was valid, but sometimes it was worth it to hear someone confirm it every now and again. To hear someone say I understand now where you are coming from and I want you to know that your emotions and your pain is real. And sometimes it was worth it to hear someone say that it was ok to save yourself. Wiping his eyes with the back of his hand though as Reza finished Noah hugged his knees a bit closer to him. “I dont -I dont know h-h-how much last one is true,” He shook his head. Because he wasn’t sure, and as much as he’d like to think everyone was better off that he was alive he was sure most of their lives wouldn’t change much if he wasn’t in it. “But I know Cahill needssss me that’s for ssure.” he sad with a nod leaving it all at that. Picking at the grass on the ground with hands that felt too big for his body Noah just cleared his throat. “No. He wazn’t like me at all. I was rough and he,” the bigger boy paused trying to put his little brother into words that Reza would understand, but his drunken brain couldn’t come up with anything more eloquent than “Judes smooth.” But he guessed in a way it was true. Noah was the problem, the kid who couldn’t sit down very well, the kid who was too curious and too rambunctious t ever think about the consequences. No Jude had a smart brain, he listened, and he thought about things more than Noah ever did. “Jude wasn’t trouble like me.” He started again again. “He did nice things. He got good grades. He played sexa-” Noah paused, god why were words so difficult when you were drunk and trying not to like vomit emotions all over the situation “ssaxaphone” he finally got out “in the band.” He nodded looking over at Reza.

Reza wanted to argue that things would most certainly be different if Noah wasn't alive but it didn't seem like the time for arguing. If anyone should be feeling angry, it was Noah and Reza didn't have any right for outbursts now. He'd let the other one know just how strongly he felt when all of this blew over. Not about how exactly he felt, obviously, because that was... no. Still, Noah needed to know just how valued he was, by Reza and his own friends. A soft smile grew on Reza's face as he listened to Noah's thought out description; it was obvious how much he'd cared for his brother. "He sounds like a great guy," Reza agreed genuinely, meeting Noah's bleary gaze for the first time. It was selfish but it felt nice not to be the sad, tortured fuck up for once. Not that Reza thought Noah was a fuck up but he was definitely sad and tortured. "It would have been nice to meet him. Doubt I would have liked him as much as I like you, though." Did that imply something else? No, it didn't matter. Noah probably wouldn't remember most of this by morning. "Do you want me to help you inside? Get some water and... I don't know, if there's anything sweet than you can, like... it can be like a makeshift birthday cake or whatever. No one ever sad you can't be sad and celebrate an occasion. Even though it's a slightly morbid occasion but maybe... I don't fucking know, it just sounds like a nicer way to remember him than sitting out on the damp grass. Nicer for him, too. Not that we have to, just a... thought." He really did need to tone down the rambling but it was just so fucking hard to stop himself once he started. The fear of saying the wrong thing and pushing Noah away felt more real by the second but at the same time, it also kinda felt like they were closer. Somehow. There was a possibility that he was imagining it.

Wiping his hand across his face again, an errant tear escaping its confines, Noah nodded at Reza. Because he was such a great kid, he really was. And Noah would literally trade anything to have given Jude a chance to live out his great life. “Would loved for him tooo meet you” He said sincerely as they sat there on the damp grass. And it was true Noah would have loved for Jude to know Reza, approve of Reza. give him advice on what to do with Reza, because Noah was always hopeless at love. But unfortunately that would never happen so all he was left with was a dream and an aceh in his heart. Sniffing at Reza though Noah smiled at his comment his drunken douchebag side coming out again “oooooh someone likessss me” he teased touching Reza’s boot with the toe of his shoe lightly, his tongue sticking out towards him. He would remember none of this in the morning, but in that moment, the teasing and just the comfort of having Reza there with him made Noah feel. Well, almost better in a way. Or at least better than he’d ever felt on Jude’s birthday. “Probabblby for the best that one.” He replied when Reza’s suggested helping him inside “I don do stairs vary well.” He continued trying to stand. And it was like a foal trying to take his first steps, Noah’s wobbly legs splayed everywhere. Luckily though he managed it after a while hands stuck out on either side trying to help him with his balance “Beauty and grace” he murmured to himself before he burst out laughing, the force of it almost knocking him over again. Reaching out for Reza Noah steadied himself on the other boys body, hoping he’d just lead him to wherever he wanted to go. “But we don have cake. Just alcohol. We fucked up wolvves that way. Might be candy barrr in the pantry though” He wasn’t exactly too sold on the thought of celebrating Jude’s birthday that way, (you know like a normal non alcoholic person might) but he was at Reza’s mercy now, and you know what, maybe it could make him feel a little bit better?

The rest of the night was a blur to Noah, his mind refusing to focus on just one thing. And when he thinks back on it he vaguely remembers smiling at Reza though as the boy rolled his eye at some joke down in the kitchen, the taste of chocolate mingling with that of whiskey on his tongue. He vaguely remembers trying to make it up the stairs laughing as Reza finally just used his vampire strength and hoisted him up, Noah’s toes barely touching the carpeting. He vaguely remembers the hands pulling off, one shoe, another, and his own lonely hand reaching out for the only person who seemed to be able to comfort him.

But none of that really matters in the long run, because when he remembers now, he remembers mostly that that was the last time he ever saw Reza Burki.

#touchofchatzy #unfinished #rezathevamp #// I debated on whether or not to post this #but it has such good development for Noah #I needed to #storyline: sun and moon

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wickedsrest-rp-archive · 5 years ago

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Please unfollow @cahill-kalani

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hawaiianhalfwolf · 7 years ago

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Hey Jude, Don’t let me Down | Noah & Cahill & Eliza

~FLACHBACK~

Directly following this solo, Half naked Noah and his band of Merry werewolves ( @cahillkalani and @drelizalabaton) tackle that pesky dead kid in the locker room situation.

Taking a deep breath Noah tried his hardest to center himself the cloth of the seat behind him digging into his bare back. This week was turning out to be just a fine one, with the pinky thing and now this. Whatever the hell this was. I mean was it some cruel joke? Possibly. Was it the actual Zombie apocalypse? Who the hell even knew anymore? Especially in Ashkent, the hotbed of weirdness. Taking another breath though Noah closed his eyes scrunching his toes against the wet floorboards. God he wanted to be dressed so bad. But he was not going to open that truck door for no one ok not even. And there it was the sound of the knock on his truck door practically propelling him up into the roof. Opening his eyes, pupils dilated with fear Noah looked around hoping it was not who he thought it might be.

Cahill hadn't exactly obeyed speed limit laws as he turned down the road away from the shop and headed straight for UMAC. As soon as he'd gotten the message from Eliza that Noah knew, the primary goal was to get to him rather than track down whatever it was that had shown up. There were times that living in Ashkent Creek was enough to make him feel like they should all relocate, but they seemed so few and far between that it was easy to justify staying. If nothing else, the memories they had planted in that town kept him in place. This, though? This was pushing him closer to the edge, and he hadn't even seen the thing yet. He refused to call it Jude. It wasn't Jude. The engine of the bike rumbled as he pulled into the parking lot, searching for Noah's vehicle. When he pulled up next to it, the boy seemed oblivious to his present. At least, he was until Cahill was tapping his fist knuckles against the metal of the door.

Breathing a sigh of relief once he realized that it was Cahill and not the Jude-Zombie, Noah unclenched a little some of the anxiety dissipating. Because here was his giant of an uncle head not even in the frame of the window, here to help. Because that’s what family did. Reaching over Noah pulled the door lock up, successfully unlocking the passenger side door for his uncle. It would be a little cramped in the two seater 1979 chevy, with cahill Noah and Noah’s school/practice stuff, but Noah figured this would be better than the both of them standing out in the open. Where the… things could see them plain as day. Looking over he beckoned his uncle into the vehicle

Without much hesitation, Cahill was pulling open the door as soon as Noah had unlocked it. Getting in, there was little hesitation in leaning over, as awkward or not, and throwing an arm around Noah in a hug. "Are you okay?" He already felt like he was going crazy, and he hadn't even seen the creature yet. Whatever it was--and whatever it wanted--had yet to be seen. With a frown, Cahill was shifting a few of the things in the seat to make as much room as possible, letting the door close slightly despite not being able to get it to latch all the way. After a pause, he was taking a slow breath and looking back towards the school. The surrounding parking lot. The road leading away from the college. "Did you see it?"

Letting his uncle throw an arm around him Noah relished the contact if only for a few seconds. Touch had always grounded him, and even more so after the transplant. “ Well besides the fact i had to run across campus in just a towel, yea I’m fine” Noah replied hoping that that put all of the worries to rest. Because he was fine really, just emotionally scarred for life. Helping his uncle rearrange a few things though Noah Noah did his own scan of the parking lot, things seemingly ok “See it?” He huffed once Cahill spoke again, approving of his use of the word it. “I had a full blown conversation with it. One in which he insulted my dick.” Ok so that last thing was definitely the most trivial of the equation but, he was adding it. Because he could.

Maybe he should've had a better response for this, but as Noah explained what happened Cahill couldn't stop the short laugh that slipped out. It didn't last long; no more than a breath before it faded and his frown was back. Fuck. He could say that a number of times and it didn't quite feel like it encapsulated his feelings on the matter. Part of him wanted to step out of the truck already; head into the school or where ever Noah saw it last and find out what it was. Better yet, find out what to do with it. He had a lot of thoughts on the matter, but most of them were going to be kept silent. "Was it inside?" His gaze was constantly scanning, looking for some sign of it. Or, perhaps more helpfully, signs of Eliza. At least when she arrived he'd be able to step away from Noah without feeling bad about it.

Thank you for being calm. Noah had sent Eliza those words, and they were running through her mind now, a reminder that she would need to stay calm when she arrived. Noah was clearly spooked, and she couldn't blame him. If she were being honest with herself, which she definitely was not, she was spooked, too. Cahill wouldn't be any better, protective mother wolf that he was. What she had to remember was that this was a family member they were both having to face down. Nevermind that Eliza had grown up with the Kalani's since she was seven, and Jude was family to her, too. That didn't matter. It wasn't about her right now. It was about Noah and it was about Cahill and whatever she could do, which meant she needed, above all else, to stay calm. Noah's truck was easy to spot with Cahill's bike next to it, and she pulled up on the other side, taking a quiet, deep breath before getting out of her car. She walked around to the driver's side, intentionally, and opened the door. "Okay, out. You can change in my backseat. Cahill, passenger side."

Noah couldn’t help but chuckle slightly along with his uncle, the absurdity of it all just too much for his tired mind to bear. But as with everything that brief moment of reprieve came to a swift close, replaced by the somber mood they both had in the beginning settling back down in the air. Because, while it wasn’t Jude, it was Jude. And dealing with all of this was going to be difficult for everyone involved. “He was in the locker room. Hence this get up” Noah replied sweeping a hand toward his uncovered abs with a sigh. But that was also short lived as well as as soon as he exhaled everything was spinning again, Eliza wrenching his door open and scaring the living daylight out of him. Grabbing his gym bag though Noah complied without argument, knowing from previous experience it was better to just do what Eliza wanted from the beginning. And what she wanted right now was for him to get out and transferred to her car, which he did, bare footed and all. Sitting there though as they all transferred to the more appropriate vehicle for the matter Noah figured he’d help break the ice a little “Soooo, I’m just going to preface our first little interaction here with a blanket ‘I’m sorry for the Magic Mike show that’s about to be put on back here, but I’m fucking freezing my nuts off in this tiny towel” He said casually as he started rummaging through his bag for a clean pair of underwear.

Cahill nodded slowly, glancing back towards the school yet again. "How long ago?" At this point, it was information gathering. It was finding out where this thing was and if it'd left already. Clearly, it was looking for them. Why hadn't it shown up at the truck? For as fast as Noah may have run, Cahill found it hard to believe that it wouldn't have followed shortly behind. He didn't have time to ask anything else because the driver side door was open and he was jumping almost in time with Noah. Instead of Jude, it was Eliza standing there and he was quick to push his door back open and step out. As he stood, he was following her over the hood of the car with his gaze. It wasn't until Noah was giving his disclaimer and climbing into the backseat that he was addressing Eliza more fully. "I think it's still in there. Take him home--or somewhere. I'm going to go find it."

Eliza should have felt worse for scaring both of them, and she probably shouldn't have assumed they were paying attention to anything outside of the truck- but with an undead Jude thing, they should have been. What if it hadn't been her? She watched Noah comply instantly, her eyes shifting to Cahill, because she knew he wouldn't be as easy. It was predictable the way he told her that he was going in. Quietly and calmly, she said, "Hey, Cahill, listen to me for just a second. I really think you should stay with Noah, and I should go in. I know you don't like the idea, but I think it's best."

To be completely honest Noah should have predicted what was going to happen next, with Cahill offering to sacrifice himself to the Jude-Zombie, and then Eliza offering the same the, both of them speaking like he wasn’t even in the car anymore. Sighing Noah picked up a clean shirt, figuring since it was more easily accessible than his clean boxers at the moment he’d put that one “You know I think that once he’s actually got some clothes on Noah should make his own decisions.” He butted in as he threw his shirt tee shirt over his head, rolling the fabric down his abs. “Especially since Noah is really the only person who knows the full extent of what we were dealing with right now” He continued giving both of them a stern look from the back seat.

This could be going better. It was a phrase Cahill had been using too many times in the past few days and it didn't set easily with him. As soon as Eliza was debating his idea, he was clenching his jaw a bit. It wasn't anger; he didn't mind the disagreement and often welcomed it from her. He needed her to keep him grounded, after all. But nothing about this situation sat right with him and worry was already eating at the edges of his thought. "No. I don't think that's for the best," he countered, though it wasn't much of an argument as it was a knee-jerk response. When his gaze shifted to Noah, his eyebrow was arching slightly. "You're not going back in there, whether or not you know the most."

Eliza leveled a look on Noah that he would have been very familiar with. She didn't often pull rank, not unless she needed to, but Noah was not going back inside. He ran naked out to his car. That said something. She looked back to Cahill, jerking her head as an indication for him to step out of the car, just briefly. The parking lot was still clear, so she felt safe doing so, and when Cahill was out of his seat too, she was speaking to him over the roof of the car, voice quiet because she hadn't closed her door. "You know I'm not going to fight you on this, but please just consider this. Listen to me. Noah needs emotional support right now, and whether or not you'll admit it, so do you. You and I both know you're a hell of a lot more qualified to give that than I am. I have my field kit, I can figure out what we're dealing with, if it's even human or were or whatever. It showed up at the shop and the school- it's looking for you both, it's not looking for me. You could be walking into a trap. Not to mention, of the three of us, I am currently the most level headed." She rushed to get all of her points across because the next time Cahill said no, it would be law and she would listen, but she felt passionately that he should not go. "Please, Cahill."

Looking at Eliza Noah stared straight back into her gaze the fire now officially lit underneath him. Because yea, he was scared, who wouldn’t be when faced with a dead family member, but he was not being left behind. He was not going to just sit somewhere and wait for the werewolves to take care of it. He was not useless, he was useful, and he’d prove it to them time and time again if that’s what it took. “I’m not going to sit somewhere like some damsel in distress ok” Noah barked out toward the both of them as he turned to dig back into his bag finally finding the black boxer briefs he was looking for. Watching though as he successfully was getting shut out of the conversation by two grown ass adults Noah just huffed, using the time to unknot his towel and quickly slide on his boxer briefs. Grabbing the jeans from his bag through he threw open the door and stepped out into the conversation. “So I don’t give two shits about what you two are talking about right now, but If this isn’t a prank and actual people are rising from the dead for some god awful reason, You’re going to need me.” he said stepping into his right pant leg and sliding it up to his calf “Why? Because out of the three of us I know Jude the best. And if it is him and he needs me I am going to be there for him. And if he doesn’t I am not going anywhere till I get answers.” He slid his other leg into his jeans “So yea I may be scared shitless but I am not going anywhere and that’s final” He spat before gracefully pulling his pants all the way up and buttoning them with a small flourish.

Yeah. This really wasn't great. Cahill should have expected more push back from both of them, but in the back of his mind he had hoped that this could just go easily. That he'd be able to find a way to sort out this problem without having to make every issue something giant. But that's what this was, right? Something giant. Massive. This was someone rising from the dead; possibly multiple someones. He was about to shake his head at Eliza when Noah was stepping out of the car and offering the same level of resistance. He huffed, a half snarl on his lips and concern marring nearly everything he wanted to do. None of this would happen cleanly, and he knew that. He looked back to Noah, a frown setting across his face. Honesty was always more important than hiding things, and they both seemed to stand by that. "And if it's not him?" He asked, hands moving to rest against the roof of the car. He was anything but relaxed. "What if we have to kill it?"

Eliza, without really thinking it through, looked at Noah almost lazily. "I think you meant scared shirtless." And suddenly, Cahill was dismissing her and she was out of the battle. She threw her hands up, walking to the back of the car. If Noah was talking his way into this, she was sure as shit going, too. Personally, she thought they were both too emotionally charged to be thinking this through clearly, but it wasn't her call to make. She popped the trunk and grabbed her kit.

Listening to Eliza Noah inhaled slightly, if it had been any other time that would have been the best comeback and he would have laughed. But not this time, because now he was staring down a giant 6’5 alpha and he was not going to lose. “I already relive his death all the time in my nightmares, what’s another time in real life.” Noah countered eyes now cold. He hadn’t exactly meant to say that, but in the battle of words the first one to draw blood won. And he was hoping that that one would hit hard. Looking over at Eliza though he caught her popping the trunk “You’ll get lost trying to find your way to the locker room without me, so you both might as well yield” He said watching her cautiously.

God, he wanted to reach over the car and strangle Noah where he stood. As soon as the words had left his mouth, Cahill was drawing a breath in between his teeth and attempting to find some sort of footing in the conversation that didn't involve opening all of the old wounds laid out in front of them. That was a lot easier when his dead nephew wasn't inside the school somewhere. "Because as your alpha, not just your family, to protect you from having to relive that." His voice was firm this time, but the slight snarl was back and he was looking to Eliza. None of this was ideal, and when his gaze turned back towards the school he was pushing away from the car. "Show us where the locker room is." He paused, turning back to make sure he was looking at Noah when he spoke again. "But if I tell you to get out, you do. Understand me? No fighting it."

"Unbelievable." Eliza had meant to only think it, but there was a quick swell of panic at the fact that Cahill was giving in, and the two most important men in her life were charging into the unknown wound as tightly as possible. Sure, there was absolutely no way in which this could turn out poorly. She squashed the bad feeling, trying to take solace in the fact that if anything did happen, she at least had her wits about her. She also had a pretty healthy tranquilizer in her kit, which, right now, was a toss up of whether she would have to use it on the undead or her alpha. Coming up to them again, she took an honest look at Noah and put her hand on his arm. “Hey… hey, look at me. Now’s not the time. Just take us in, okay?” It was the alpha comment that had done it, but that was an argument for later, if he still wanted to push the point. "I just want to point out that there are still people in there and causing a scene should be our last resort.” This was directed mostly at Cahill.

For a moment all Noah could see red, the alpha comment rattling around in his brain, Because while Noah was part of the pack as a formality, he was not a werewolf. Cahill was his uncle first, alpha second and never EVER the other way around. And he would be damned if his Uncle was going to order him to stay out of it to simply ‘protect him’ when he clearly was very very much in it. But luckily for the both of them Eliza, the ultimate diffuser stepped forward, grounding Noah with a gentle hand. “Fine” He conceded biting back the venom he had been preparing “But I’m not here as a simple accessory ok” He replied looking at Cahill before reaching in to grab his shoes the socks still shoved inside “Most of the football team is out so there would only be a few people if any at all to contend with” He said pulling on a sock and stepping into one of his shoes.

Cahill wasn't sure if the situation inside the school or out was more stressful. The tension between him and Noah was building, and while there were times that it was almost unnoticeable, it was always there. It always lingered under the surface or felt like a weight on his chest. He wasn't sure if it was responsibility or guilt that felt more stifling. Eliza was drawing them both back to present, keeping them focused. She was irritated, and it was easy enough to read it on her face. Even if hiding her emotions was something she wanted to do, he was almost positive she wouldn't be able to. Rather than give reply, he grit his teeth slightly and nodded. He didn't want to cause a scene, that much he could agree with. He didn't want any of this. But that hadn't been left as an option. Flexing his hands for a second, they were curling into fists a moment and he was nodding. "Let's go." He motioned stiffly towards the school, letting Noah lead the way if only in position. His attention was still sharp and eyes focused ahead of them. Should something happen, he was ready to move and move quickly.

Eliza fell to the back of their small pack, and would stay there even when, inevitably, Cahill and Noah switched positions. The strongest in the lead, next taking up the rear, protection from both ends. Even if it was a more labored attempt for her, she kept her senses razor sharp, kept her pulse under control, and stayed ready to jump between Cahill and Noah or the two of them and something more sinister, whatever was needed.

Pulling on his other sock Noah laced up his shoes, grabbing his iphone from the car as he did it. They were waiting on him to leave but he didn’t care, the quiet rage sitting underneath the surface. And he hadn’t felt that rage in a long time, the stuff that made him see red, the stuff that made him want to break shit, and drink till he was numb. But he guessed right now being mad was better than being scared, which was still there too. Underneath it all. Stepping into the lead his uncle begrudgingly offered him Noah walked with confidence his head held high. This was his territory, this was his family, this was his locker room. And he was going to be damn if he didn;t act like it. Cutting off the main walkway and onto a small secretive little gravel path Noah motioned for the other two to follow, eyes glancing around for any sign of movement “It’s through here.” He said hoping to quell the well, whatever there was to quell.

When it came to leading, Cahill had never felt the need to hold onto control very tightly. As long as rules were followed and tasks were completed, it didn't matter who was in the front. And then, after Evan and his family had died, leaving just him and Noah, a switch had flipped. Then, it became protecting Noah, at any cost, even if he was capable of taking care of himself. Sometimes, that urge flared more than others. Such as now, as he stood in the parking lot of the school, no idea what was waiting inside, and letting Noah take the lead. Protecting him meant keeping him safe from anything, including the emotional pain of having to face his dead little brother. At the end of the day, it always seemed to become clear that Cahill was capable of forcing very little on Noah. Keeping his focus sharp, he was looking around as they entered the school, his eyes turning towards Noah. "Alright. Quietly, yeah?"

Eliza could almost feel the different emotions between them. Noah and Cahill were in very different places, mentally, and she suspected they knew very little of what the other was feeling. She could only hope, then, that it wouldn't get them in trouble in the next few minutes, whatever happened. She nudged Cahill, a silent and unneeded plea to be ready to inflict damage, if necessary. She could get Noah out of the way, if it came to that. And, lastly, "Just let me assess what we're dealing with, okay?"

Walking down the hall and towards the set of doors marked BOYS Noah stopped slightly looking back at Eliza. Who definitely wasn’t a boy in the biological sense of the word. But seemed to want to assess the situation anyway “Well If you get arrested for this it’s on you” he grunted toward here before pushing the door open slightly and poking his head through. It did not look like the attendant was in his little office right now so at least Eliza had that going for her. But that was then he heard it echoing through the locker room. “He’s coming back for me I know it,” came Jude’s voice, the tell tale tremor of emotion left on his words, as if he was trying to keep himself from crying. And Noah wanted to be careful he really did, but he also couldn’t resist that sound, the one of someone in need, his brother in need. So that was how he found himself surging forward toward the sound eyes scanning his surroundings desperately.

The plan was to be quiet. Assess the situation. Go slow. But, the best plans were usually changed last minute and the Kalani's had never really been good about being slow. It was why, as soon as Noah was bursting forward ahead of them at the sound of a voice that sent knives through Cahill's heart, he was following suit. There was a breathed out curse that was barely audible and he didn't pause for a second to consider what they might be faced with. In his mind, he'd pictured zombies from the movies. A decomposing body that only vaguely resembled his nephew. Maybe he expected to find him similar to when he had been found initially. What he didn't expect was the perfect, unchanged view of his nephew sitting there. His mouth fell open for a moment as he stopped dead, a few feet back from where both Jude and Noah were. His lips moved as if they were going to form words and yet nothing came out. Confusion, and awe, washed across his face. He didn't want to believe that this was okay or that it'd continue to be fine. Something would go wrong. Something always went wrong. But none of that changed the fact that it felt good to see Jude in front of him, strings or no strings attached.

And there they went, breaking protocol and the plan right away, leaving Eliza no choice but to follow suit. Her stupid, loving boys. The same way they came in, Eliza took up the rear, stopping a few feet behind Cahill and Noah. The fact was, as happy as it would have made them, she still didn't trust this and the feeling in her gut didn't change her mind, even seeing a perfect little Jude in front of her. At least she was smart enough not to put voice to the thought about why he wasn't decomposing. He'd been in the ground long enough that he shouldn't have skin, and.... this wasn't Jude. "When I die, cremate me," she whispered, not expecting either of the men with her to pay attention.

Focusing all his attention on his little brother Noah barely realized that the attendant that was supposed to be watching the door was the one helping Jude. And it made sense, a perfect little boy seemingly lost in a locker room, hoping beyond all doubt that Noah would come back. And it was in that moment Noah was glad he’d fought for the right to be here, the look on Jude’s face as he saw him saying everything he needed to know in the moment. “This your brother?” The attendant asked looking over toward Noah. And there were three or four tense seconds of breath holding where Noah thought it was all going to come rushing out of the boy. How Jude had been dead for years and when he came back to life all he had done was try to find his family so he could figure out what was happening to him, but his stupid ass brother was a jerk and ran. He ran away and left him because he was scared and just so fucking selfish. But Jude just nodded the boy having enough sense not to open that can of worms.“I didn’t realize you were still in here buddy” Noah lied coming over to sit next to him, the urge to touch almost unreal. But this wasn’t the moment for it. Not in front of an outside he had no idea what was going on “Alright well locker room is closing in half an hour so I suggest you all do you best to not get separated again” The attendant stated before realizing that Eliza had followed them into the room. “Hey lady you can’t be in here” He barked at her arms crossed.

Cahill remained rooted in his spot, watching as Noah went to sit next to Jude. There was hesitation more than anything else keeping him from stepping forward. It was clear that they had no idea what this--it--he was. Clearly he had been dead, there was no debating that. Whatever had brought him back to this spot was something that should not have been fucked with. Voicing that sort of concern was something he would do later when he was alone with Noah and Eliza. So instead he remained, silent--for now--and unmoving. Noah wanted to come, so he let Noah lead. Let him take the seat next to Jude. Let him figure out how he wanted to handle the situation. His contribution was easy. As soon as the attendant was turning around and looking at Eliza, voice raising above a gentle tone, he was leveling a glare on the man. "Don't." It was accompanied by a simple step towards the man, half in front of her and half to broaden his shoulders and give the very clear message that now was not the time. His second comment was no softer than the first. "We'll leave in a minute."

Eliza, too, had a hard time tearing her eyes off of Jude. She should have been just as awed and, she didn't know... emotionally invested? This was her family, too, and while she and Jude hadn't been that close, they'd been around each other. She started to take a step forward when the attendant rounded on her, unnecessarily rude in her opinion, but Cahill was just as quickly taking care of it, and Eliza didn't feel to raise the fur at her neck, so to speak. One ear on her alpha in case the attendant wanted to start anything, she stepped towards Noah and Jude, and squatted in front of them. "Hey. You feeling okay, Jude?" He looked fine. Great, even, and it bothered her because it didn't make sense. But if Jude remembered her, at least it would seem in character that she would ask that question first.

As he set his gaze on Cahill Noah could see the determination in the attendants manner fade, a flippant wave of his hand signalling that yea he did not get paid enough for this. “I promise we will leave in a minute like he said” Noah called to the attendants retreating back, hoping that would be enough of an apology. I mean Cahill and Eliza were lucky they never had to see the guy again. Noah on the other hand did. And you didn’t know the wrath of a locker room attendant until you go to take a shower and there are no more towels. Turning his attention back to Jude however Noah waited with baited breath for how he might answer Eliza. I mean, was he ok? Noah hadn’t even thought to ask that in his haste to get away from him “No Eliza I am not ok. Why because my brother is a butt head and left me in a locker room with stranger danger over there” Jude replied with a bite, demeanor changed from one of sadness to annoyance, and his gaze directly pointed at Noah. Feeling his heart just drop out of his chest Noah let the silence hang over for a few seconds trying to figure out how to answer that. “Sorry you just, you scared me dude” He finally and sheepishly answered looking down at his hands a fresh pang of guilt washing over him. Because he had left this, this well, he’d left his brother alone ok. And while he knew, he knew this was magic, he knew this wasn’t real there was some part that just, He couldn’t help himself. “But I promise. I won’t leave you with creepy locker room attendants any more ok” He nodded holding out his pinky for Jude, hoping the other boy would forgive him enough to remember their past rituals.

This was... a lot. Given their current positions, Cahill was more comfortable keeping a fair amount of distance from it all. Eliza had stepped forward quickly to ask Jude if he was alright and the resulting discourse was a shot at Noah about leaving him behind. He wanted to voice some sort of concern--keep your distance. Wait until we know what's happening. Don't. The result would only be to make Noah angry again, and he didn't feel like causing another argument when he could still feel the tension of their 'conversation' in the parking lot in his muscles. It was always a delicate balance when it came to giving his nephew advice, and when his mind had been made up he didn't often waver or accept outside input. So Cahill reminded silent and observed. Watching for signs of differences that should be glaring and obvious; watched as Eliza and Noah talked with Jude; listened to the sound of the attendant disappearing back down the hall somewhere. He could be the mean one that cautioned against accepting the perfect recreation of his nephew in the flesh, because if it meant protecting the family that was still alive, he'd be whatever he needed to be.

Eliza frowned. The answer was such an eleven year old thing to say, and she didn't know what she'd been hoping for. Some reason to be able to shine a light in his eyes, check his temperature, listen to his heartbeat. She, much like Cahill, had no problem being the voice that said this wasn't right, that this wasn't Jude. To be honest, though, she thought she would have to fight Cahill on it as much as she would Noah. Speaking of, he was reaching out, offering a pinky to Jude, and Eliza couldn't stop the warning tone that accompanied his name. "Noah..." There were a thousand reasons she didn't want Noah touching Jude, or anywhere near him. They didn't know enough yet, and if Noah got hurt... Jude reached out and linked pinkies, and Eliza swallowed, her heart pounding in her chest. She was sure that Cahill was all too aware of her heightened concern, could practically hear the beat of her heart in her ribcage. When Noah didn't instantly die or turn to stone, she forced a breath. "Hey Jude, you uh... Noah came to get me because he was worried about you, actually. Said he thought you hit your head on something... mind if I just make sure you're all right?" It was a weak lie, but she didn't know how else to get an in.

Forging on ahead Noah could feel Eliza’s uneasiness wafting off of her as his pinky met Judes. He could tell she had wanted him to stop, to not get too close before they knew what was going on, but unfortunately this was Noah. The kid who always got too close, the kid who always pushed as far as he could go, and in this was no different. Because he had to know if this was Jude. Or rather, he wanted to believe that this was his brother in the flesh, and not a trick of the light. And so far he was passing every test, the boy shaking his pinky with rigor. “Well i’d just like to point out that Noah ran out of here naked, so If anyone’s brain needs medical attention it’s probably his” Jude replied to Eliza eyes on Noah. And Noah couldn’t help but blush slightly against the kids gaze. He was never going to be able to live this down was he. “But if you want to check my head I guess you can” the little boy shrugged.

Eliza glanced at Cahill, looking for... something. She didn't know what she was looking for. Some kind of confirmation that it was okay to move forward with this, though she knew he would make it known if he wanted her to stop. She turned back to Jude. "Right. You have a point," she said with a smile and a quick glance at Noah. A pause, a breath, and she set her fingers on the inside of his wrist, pretty much holding her breath. He had a pulse. It wasn't possible, but he had a pulse. She checked his pupils, had him follow the movement on her finger, everything that would tell her if someone had their wits about them. Shapeshifter, then? She wasn't ready to believe that this was Jude. "Well, kiddo, you look good. We should... you know, are you hungry? We can go out." They needed to get out of the locker room, but she sure as hell was not offering to take him home or to Cahill's.

Holding his breath Noah kept his eyes on Eliza for any sign of abnormality that might flash across her face, but it never came. Jude was passing every test Eliza gave him, the little boy just sitting there looking bored while she poked and prodded her way around his zombie body. Letting out a breath as she finished Noah smiled at his little well [i]brother[/i] happy that this seemed to not be a trick of the light so far. “Um yea. I-” Jude paused as if he didn’t really know what to say to Eliza’s question “Can we maybe go to Luigi’s?” Jude asked looking hopefully up at Noah and then to Cahill, the pizza place being a favorite of the Kalani ‘ohana until well, you know.

Cahill half expected Eliza to give her check up and immediately tell them to get out of there, because this thing was actually dead. Somewhere, someone was either playing a cruel game with some powerful magic, or it was all an illusion. There was no way this could be Jude. But he talked with that emphasis that reminded him so much of Evan and he looked so much like Yazmin and seeing Noah sitting next to his little brother was too much. He didn't trust it, but his heart hurt with the possibility that this was what could have been. As the question was turned in Cahill's direction, he nodded slightly. "Of course." Could it tell that he wasn't excited? That he didn't trust it? Saw it as a threat? He hoped the smile that he gave was enough to convince all of them that he wasn't on edge and ready to snap. "You could even ride the bike with me if you want."

Eliza could have hugged Cahill for that suggestion, and she hoped he saw it in her face. She was already thinking ahead to the driving there, and had assumed Noah would convince this Jude imposter to hop in his truck, and it was the absolute last thing she wanted. Cahill could handle himself, but Noah was too close, to ready to believe that this was Jude and it just wasn't possible. It wasn't Jude, even with as much weird shit happened in this town, she couldn't believe it. It wasn't just coming back from the dead, it was regenerating entire organs. She glanced at Noah. "Wanna ride with me? No sense taking three vehicles."

Looking at Cahill Noah could see Jude weigh his options. He had never been one to really seek out the motorcycle before so Noah was sure he’d probably chose Eliza, and obviously drag him with. But there was always room for surprises and that exactly what the little boy did. “Three vehicles?” Jude asked looking a little quizzical until “Wait you can legally drive now!” He exclaimed jumping up and looking at Noah eyes blown wide with excitement “That’s so cool. I wanna ride with you” Jude smiled at Noah all eyes on him. And Noah would be lying if the thought of him and his little brother in his truck didn’t cross his mind. Because despite everything Noah wanted to please Jude so bad, he just wanted to fall back into that older brother role and savor every precious moment. But he was pushing it with this whole thing, and he knew it. Because while Jude may not have noticed that the adults around him were still skeptical of him Noah did. “Maybe we can all go with Eliza this time, and on the way back to come back to pick up the bike and the truck you can ride with me.” Noah replied getting up himself and placing a hand on Jude’s shoulder, eyes darting between both of the older adults looking for support. This seemed like the best compromise, and hopefully some more time with the boy would convince the older two of what Noah knew the second he saw him. This was Jude.

Cahill had to bite his tongue to keep from saying something as soon as Jude caught on to what three vehicles meant. His gaze momentarily shifting to Eliza just long enough to catch her eye before it was back to Jude and Noah. He nodded slowly, agreeing that they'd all go in Eliza's car this time even if that was the last thing he wanted. No, correction. The last thing he wanted was Jude getting into Noah's car alone with him. Not until they knew what it was and what it wanted. "Let's head out then." He was motioning towards the door and looking back towards Eliza again, hand reaching her way with an open hand for her keys.

Eliza held her breath as soon as Jude piped up, realizing her mistake. She hadn't thought of it, but then, it struck her weird that Jude didn't even question it. Like he understood what year it was, how much time had passed, and he didn't realize he hadn't been there for all of that. She was liking the situation less and less, a really bad feeling in the pit of her stomach that continued to grow. She had to force the smile at Jude, and mouthed a 'thank you' to Noah for his suggestion. It was the best compromise they could hope for currently. She relinquished her keys to Cahill without fight, without hesitation, and fell to the rear of the group again. Seating was another issue... she didn't want the boys in the backseat with each other. She wanted some distance between them, but she had a feeling that was a battle she was going to lose. It wasn't as important as the one she'd just won, though, so she would have to take it.

Getting up Noah followed the rest of them out of the locker room, half his attention on Jude and half of his attention on the awkwardness that hung in the air around them. Because he knew this was Jude, that much was evident, but why? Why now? Why just Jude? Or were there others? And just, there were so many unanswered questions the Noah’s mind was racing. But of course it was then that Jude decided to shatter it all to bits a loud “SHOTGUN” erupting as soon as they were in sight of the black top. “Dude you don’t even know what car it is, that’s against the rules” Noah replied unable to hold back a small chuckle at the thought of poor little Jude racing down the aisles yelling at every car till he found the right one. “Well” Jude put his hands on his hips “Rules state you just have to see the car, and I assume since we are in the parking lot it is around here somewhere.” He stuck out his tongue at his brother, and Noah just rolled his eyes.

Cahill's eyes shifted back towards Jude as it all but exploded out of the building and yelled for shotgun. As much as he hated this situation, he appreciated Jude's eagerness to be in the front. It put them closest together and him most ready in case something happened. He didn't know if this was some creature impersonating Jude; someone that had spent too much time researching them and their family, or if it was his body brought back to life. Completely healed? None of it made sense, and the mere fact that were about to spend an afternoon with it set him a bit off balance. What happened when they needed to go home and had to take it with? Spend however much time with it? He couldn't kill it in front of Noah, even if it wasn't his brother, he already seemed somewhat invested. Motioning towards the car, he gave a small smile that was far from genuine. "Over there. You can go ahead and sit in front, Jude." It felt wrong, saying his name, and as soon as he had he was looking back towards the car to hide the slight expression of disapproval.

Eliza felt more relief in the moment Jude claimed shotgun than she had in possibly her entire life. She didn't trust this at all, but she saw Noah and she saw that Noah trusted what was happening. Of the three of them, he was the most positive and optimistic. It didn't matter, though... he was wrong. She had no plan outside of this. They would go get lunch... and then what? As the doors unlocked, she took a steady breath, letting Jude and Noah both get in, and then locking eyes with Cahill. Finally, she was the last to get in.

#touchofpotw #touchofchatzy #chatzy #c: hey jude #cahillkalani #drelizalabaton #jude kalani #tw: death #tw: death menton #potw: grave mistake

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hawaiianhalfwolf · 7 years ago

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This Toasters on FIRREEEEEE | Noah & Cahill

~FLASHBACK~

So the night after the bonfire gets a little well heated in the Kalani household. 10/10 would not recommend possessed toasters, especially when there is a drunk @cahillkalani involved.

Walking down the the sidewalk of their street, with Cahill’s large house looming in front of him, Noah sighed and hitched his backpack up a little higher. It was 6 in the morning. Way way too early to be up on a saturday night after a party but….well he hadn’t slept pretty much the whole night, body tossing and turning eyes glancing toward the screen of his phone. He’d texted his uncle that he was just staying the night at Marco’s after their alternative bonfire party, the couch much nicer than a late night walk home. But he’d never got a response. Which was not settling right with Noah. Because the Kailani’s were the type where when someone texted you, you answered as quickly as possible. It was a rule. None of this text or call you back three days later crap. If someone needed you, you picked up the damn phone, because you never know when that could be the last time you talked to someone. Like possibly now. Listening to the crunch of gravel as he turned into the drive Noah kept his legs at bay the urge to run up the porch steps and into the house growing stronger with every move. And it was probably good that Noah was walking because there lay a large figure in front of the door, large boy half dangling off the porch and onto the wooden steps. “Cahill?” Noah started the panic immediately setting in as he realized that his uncle was passed out outside instead of inside with the dog.

Cahill didn't drink. At least, not to excess. A beer here and there was normal, but never too much. Last night, he'd had too much. Enough that he couldn't have given an accurate count if he tried. Mixed with the weed and the excitement of the bonfire, he'd lost all energy to get in the house as soon as he'd hit the porch. His phone was likely in his pocket, but his ability to articulate sentences had dropped below normal levels and when he couldn't get the door unlocked he'd given up on doing anything but dropping into one of the chairs sitting nearby and promptly pass out. At least, he thought he'd fallen asleep in the chair. At some point, he'd taken up space on the porch itself and was blinking his eyes open at the sound of Noah's voice. It was bright. Not terribly so, but enough that he was already wincing and closing his eyes again. "Why are you in my room?"

Breathing a sigh of sweet relief as his Uncle started to speak Noah crouched down, heart pounding. He was so so scared of what he might have found here. But he would never admit it to Cahill. Never. “I am not in your room, because you are not in your room” Noah commented roughly sloughing off his backpack as he dug out his keys to the house. Cahill stunk like a college frat party, the liquor and weed practically assaulting his nostrils. God this werewolf thing sucked sometimes. Especially now, when he was being assaulted by fucking smells and could hear Haukea whining from her kennel in the living room. Poor thing must have been at it all night, knowing her alpha was out on the porch and not inside cuddling with her. Trying to shove it all down though Noah threw a hand underneath his uncle, guiding him towards any semblance of sitting position. “Alright let’s get you upright and inside ok” He murmured hoping Cahill would offer some assistance. Because if he was going to have to carry the giant 6’5’ behemoth this was going to be a rough morning. For everyone

'You are not in your room.' Cahill’s eyes opened again, brow knitted together against the heat and in confusion. No wonder it was so bright. Was he outside still? That seemed to make sense. It only took a few seconds of consciousness for him to make a couple of realizations. The first being what happened last night and why he was still on the porch. Drunk or not, he hadn't apparently been intoxicated enough to black out. That was probably good. That level of incapacitation might've been bad. The second realization, about the time that Noah started to get an arm around him to lift him up to a sitting position, was that he felt like death. Using the slight momentum that Noah had given him, he was pushing himself further forward until he was in off the porch and in the yard, catching himself from face planting into the grass with one hand. That was the point when he lost whatever it was he had eaten the night before. Wiping his mouth, he grimaced. "Fuck."

When Noah dreamt of assistance, yea well watching his uncle practically face plant off the steps and into the grass of the front lawn was not exactly what he had in mind. But it was good to know Cahill was alive at least, in some sense of the word. Especially as he took this time to empty his stomach of it’s contents. “Yea fuck is right” Noah breathed with the new scent of vomit now burying itself in his nasal passages along with the liquor and weed. God Cahill better be thankful his nephew did not have a strong gag reflex. Or else Noah probably would have lost it himself. But he held it together years of practice with the smaller kids on the football team hardening him. “But you better get it all out now before we get in the house because I am not cleaning puke out of the carpets.” He stated calmly as he walked over towards cahill again, a hand rubbing small circles against the other’s back. Pulling the hair tie from his wrist (something of which he’d started doing when he was always hanging around sasha and just forgot to stop when she left) Noah brushed back his uncle’s wild hair hair and placed it in a loose pony tail, hoping this would help, you know with the whole puking thing.

Could this be worse? Sure. Cahill could've been hungover and not at home. His phone could be dead, Noah could be worrying that he was in a ditch somewhere, and he'd be stranded. But all that aside, this was pretty bad. Being hungover was a new experience. One he hadn't felt since he was in his far younger days. After a few seconds and a mental affirmation of where he was, he nodded slightly. The act of nodding hurt and he all but growled at the sensation. "I'm fine now." He glanced back at his nephew and frowned. "Where have you been?" He asked. Indignation was far from justifiable given his current situation, but the concern was there if nothing else. "You weren't home."

Glancing down at the behemoth as he started to come around a bit more Noah just rubbed gentle circles into his back. His uncle didn’t usually get this wasted, so there must be something amiss. Something he was probably not going to ask about and something that Cahill would never tell willingly. Because that was just their life, suppressing feelings, one emotion at a time. Sighing though as his uncle had the nerve to treat him like a child when he was the one passed out in the yard Noah “I was at Marco’s with the guys, which you would have known if you checked your phone like 18 hours ago.” He replied trying to keep the bite out of his own voice. Because it would do no good to point out the hypocrisy of whatever the hell this was now, while his uncle still sat on the front lawn.

Obviously, Cahill had very little room to critique anyone's decisions here. Not when he had just thrown up over the front lawn and spent his night sleeping on his porch. It was less anger, because he hardly expected anyone to be at the house all the time, and more worry. Somewhere in the back of his alcohol riddled brain, he knew that Noah was going to be out all night. It made sense. Made sense why no one answered the door when he pounded a few times. Tapping at his pockets, he was frowning again. "Fuck." Pulling out his phone, it wasn't surprising to see that it was dead. "Sorry. I knew that." Pushing himself up off the ground with some effort, he pointed towards the door and closed his eyes as much as he could while still being able to see in front of him. "Can you talk quieter, too?"

Looking over at the screen as the giant tried to turn his cellphone one on Noah sighed a little. Of course it was dead, which was why his uncle never returned his text. Typical. Pushing it to the side though Noah huffed at his next request. “No can do.” Noah replied following his uncle’s path upwards reflexes at the ready in case cahill needed him. “You know the rules, if you are dumb enough to be hungover in this house you are dumb enough to live with the consequences.” He continued with a smirk, karma being oh such a bitch for Cahill now that the shoe was on the other foot. Softening a little though at the look of his Uncle (he looked like literal hell in a handbasket) Noah reached out an arm for support “But yea lets get you inside with some water and some proper food ok.”

Cahill's response to Noah denial of his request was nothing short of a snarl, lip curling and disapproval clear on his face. It was discomfort more than anger that fueled it. It'd been years since he'd last been hungover and he didn't miss the feeling. Now that he was sobering, and the only remaining effects of the liquor was a pounding headache and a dry mouth, he hated it. Every second of it. Despite that, there was a part of him that almost wanted to crack open another bottle and down the contents. There was nearly a constant loop of last night in his head, up until the point that he stopped noticing his surroundings. He hated that too. He had more control than that. What if something else had happened? What if it'd been his fault because he'd let himself get so drunk he was useless? He managed to get himself back up the stairs of the porch without Noah's help, but he hesitated at the door and instead was moving to sit back in the porch chair. He sighed as he sat, hand running over his face. "I'll be fine." The tone was less than convincing. "How was your bonfire?"

Relishing the look on Cahill’s face when he realized his nephew was going to poke at least a few bits of fun at him, Noah bit back his laughter. Because yea that would be a little cruel. Stopping at the front door though Noah dug out his keys from his pocket, figuring he’d be helpful and at least open the door for his uncle. “You will drink water and force something down your throat before you pass out again so help me god Cahill” He barked looking around to find Cahill had sat down in a porch chair. Lord they were never getting into the house at this rate. “And my bonfire was good. Though I just walked a mile back home so I need like 12 cups of coffee stat” He said swinging the door wide open the sound of Haukea’s whining filling his ears.

He could sleep for a million years. Maybe that was an exaggeration, but as soon as he was sitting he was certain he didn't want to get back up. Cahill looked up at Noah and instantly regretted it. Looking up meant moving his eyes and moving his eyes meant the feeling of knives in the back of his head. Why did people drink? "Yeah, yeah." He practically whispered it. Even that sounded like a cannon in his head. Fuck. The cannon reminded him of the raffle, which reminded him of Dave. Had he killed the little thing already? Sitting up with a jolt, which sent a fierce pain through his skull, he looked around. The little bag sat on the end table, and the fact that Dave wasn't smashed on the yard was a relief. "Fuck." He managed to get back to his feet again, he was groaning and looking to Noah. Moving his eyes was the worst. "Coffee." Cahill parroted, scooping Dave's bag up, the small hedgehog inside. "Coffee's good."

Walking through the front door, Noah was surprised when Cahill picked up a small bag. “What is that?” He asked not even knowing if he really wanted to know. Because what the profoundly drunk pick up along their journey and why was always the biggest mystery of the morning. Moving over to Haukea’s kennel he unlocked it the grateful puppy exploding at him. Poor thing had been in there all night, but luckily for Noah she had not had an accident. “Did you miss me? Did you miss me?” Noah cooed feeling her practically vibrating with excitment “Alright let’s get you outside to go potty while I put on some coffee for Uncle Cahill.” Noah continued throwing open the door to the back porch for her and making his way over towards the kitchen, hoping that Cahill was following alright. “What roast did you want?” He called after the other man as he pulled out his beloved french press.

Moving still hurt, and even more so when he had to change the way he was looking. Cahill was amazed at how easily the pain in his head doubled by something as simple as a shift of his gaze. When he looked towards Noah, he was frowning a bit; more from the pain than the question. "It's Dave. Uh--that hedgehog that I won." Clearly not the full extent of the explanation, like why he had Dave in a bag and why that bag was pink and why he was carrying it around. But Noah hadn't asked for the answers to all those questions and Cahill wasn't feeling particularly giving when it came to volunteering his own information. He moved into the kitchen ahead of Noah, setting the small bag on the counter and unzipping it so Dave could peek out more if he felt inclined. As of late, the critter seemed perfectly content to stay where it was warm and safe. Running both hands over his face, Cahill made an attempt to scrub the memories of the night before from his mind and bring himself back to the present. "Whatever works."

Filling their electric kettle with water Noah went about preparing for coffee getting out all of the necessary things. Glancing over at Cahill though Noah could help the surprise on his face when he looked at the bag, now wriggling slightly “You won a hedgehog?” Noah asked mind instantly racing. Because who give away animals as raffle prizes? That like… soo not good. For the new owner or the animal. But he guessed it was good that Dave came home with Cahill, and to a loving home with a veterinary student. “Ok let me get some food going and then I can take a look at him, and then go get him some food.” Taking out bread Noah placed a few slices in the toaster without really thinking about it, mind now trying to remember what hedgehogs even ate.

Shaking his head, an action he immediately regretted for the shuddering pain it sent down his neck, Cahill shrugged. "Yeah. I don't know, I didn't realize they were giving away animals." His own sentiments matched Noah's. As much as he liked the idea of adding more pets to the house, he didn't like the idea of any sort of festival giving animals away. Unless it was a ten center goldfish or something like that. At least the two of them would make sure it was fed and taken care of. Which mostly meant that Noah would make sure it was healthy and Cahill would give it the rest of the love and affection that a man could give a hedgehog. Raking his fingers through his hair, he could feel some sand still caught in it. He'd need a shower soon. Coffee first. Sleep, probably. More water than he currently had him in. With a sigh, he was looking towards the back door where Haukea had pranced out. Coffee and toast. Both of those sounded good right now.

“Well that’s a little sketchy but luckily he’s got us now” Noah muttered as he went about fininshing up all the preparations. Letting the kettle and the toaster do it’s thing Noah doled out the grounds into the press and placed the coffee cups on the counter. A red sox one for him and paw shaped one for cahill, just the way it should be. Smiling slightly Noah grabbed another glass filling this one with water from the fridge before depositing it in front of his uncle. “All of that needs to be gone before you go back to sleep. Now lets see the little fella” Noah looked at the bag expectantly knowing that it would be better to do this while Haukea was still occupied with her potty break.

Cahill nodded, moving the bag on the counter slightly closer to Noah without disrupting Dave too much. He'd probably have to work on his naming skills soon. With Dave and then Cat, people were going to start thinking he was uncreative. Which was true, but that didn't mean he had to flaunt it. As Noah exchanged a glass of water for the bag that Dave was comfortable nested in, Cahill was picking it up and downing nearly half of it in one go. He hadn't realized how thirsty he was until he started drinking. Then, just like that, he was dropping it, glass shattering when it hit the floor and water spilling everywhere. It'd been knee-jerk reaction. An instinct as soon as there was a burst of fire in the corner of his eye and without thinking he was shoving Noah as far away from the counter as he could. Fire. So much fucking fire. He was too hungover for this. Pulling the cord from the wall, his first instinct was to simply bat the toaster into the sink and turn on the water. Maybe not the best reaction, but clear thinking was far from obtainable.

The smell was what registered first for Noah, that live dangerous smell of well just burning materials that shouldn’t be burning as he stuck his hand out for the poor terrified creature in the small pet carrier bag. Next came the sound of glass breaking against something as Noah turned toward the commotion, but it was then the large body next to him shoved him out of the way as a mysterious wall of flames burst forth from the… damn demon toaster that he had started to use. Cursing himself for not being more aware of what he had been doing Noah scooped up Dave and threw his carrier (sorry Dave) onto the couch in the living room where he hoped the poor creature would be safe. Thinking in that split second Noah rushing in grabbing the washing hose to the sink. Flipping the sink on Noah took aim at anything and everything in the toasters general direction hoping this would help.

"Jesus Christ." The curse came out under his breath, and as soon as Noah had taken hold of the hose for the sink, Cahill was stepping back until there was the crunching of glass under his boots and his back found the wall opposite the sink. The flames were extinguished rather quickly, having nothing to keep them alight once they were dowsed under water. He was thankful he'd thought to rip the plug from the wall first or they might've had bigger issues to deal with. Running back hands over his face, he was leaning forward in attempt to catch his breath. Breathing. Keep breathing. God, what the hell was happening? He felt like there was a weight on his chest and his lungs were collapsing in on themselves. The pounding in his head only made it worse and he wasn't sure if he wanted to drop to the ground or go for a run but he had an uncontrollable level of... Of something. Something that made his heart race and his hands shake. When he finally breathed out a reply, he wasn't sure if he was saying it for his own benefit or Noah's. "I think I'm dying."

Of course it was at this crazy moment Haukea came back into the house barking her head off tail in the attack position “KEA NO BARK” Noah yelled hoping his dog had enough sense to stay away from the flames as he directed water toward them. But of course her loyalty to him won out, little muzzle gripping at his pant leg trying to get him to move. Keeping the spray on the fire Noah held his ground until it was out, enduring the pups pulling. Letting the adrenaline course through him for a moment Noah put the hose back in place before kneeling to pet Kea’s fur “Hey it’s ok, I’m ok, we are both ok” he murmured kissing the top of her head as she whined her little puppy whine at him. But that sense of relief was short lived as his uncle’s words floated in through his mind. “Shit” Noah muttered turning to look at Cahill, the other man’s chest starting to heave unevenly. He wasn’t quite sure what was up but it didn’t look good.

"Am I having a heart attack? I think this is a heart attack." Was he too young for that? Cahill was reminded, then, by a little voice in the back of his head that sounded an awful lot like Eliza's that even though he acted like a child, he was still forty goddamned years old. Not what he needed at the moment, but it was there nonetheless. "Shit." He took another few heaving breaths as he dropped his hands to his knees and let his head hang. "I'm gonna die right here. Forty years of stupid shit and I die in my kitchen with a hangover." It was a bit of fatalism, but he couldn't get himself to stop panting in how he was breathing and his hands felt shaky and uneasy. After a second, he was shaking them out, flexing and unflexing his fingers in hopes that it would help. It didn't. "Are you okay?" He asked, looking up at Noah as his brow furrowed. He hadn't been burned, had he? Again, the images of the night before flashed through his mind and his frown deepened.

Biting back a burned toast joke (definitely too soon) Noah came closer to Cahill crouching down to look at his uncle, hand on one of his wrist. Rapid breathing, rapid heart rate, fatalism and negativity, this wasn’t a heart attack this more like a panic attack. Something of which Noah was very very familiar with. Hearing Haukea whine next to him Noah grabbed her and place her in his uncle lap “I’m fine Cahill, but you good sir are most likely having a panic attack” He said gently looking at his uncle with a mixture of seriousness and love. “So give Kea a few good strokes to ground yourself, and then we’ll start some breathing exercises ok.” He nodded hoping that Cahill would allow Noah to take the lead this once.

If there was one thing that Cahill loved, aside from Noah, it was animals. Specifically, ones that actually liked to be loved. Not that he wasn't a fan of Mele, but she was a little bitch sometimes and rarely wanted to be petted. Haukea, on the other hand, was quick to happily accept the position on Cahill's lap and he was running a hand over the dog to calm her (himself?) down. Holy shit. His head was still pounding and the fact that his heart was beating out of his chest, in time with the thudding in his temples, did not help. "Fuck..." The word was breathed out and he was closing his eyes, head hanging forward and very nearly resting on Kea. "I think I'm going to throw up again."

Looking over at his uncle, Noah hoped it was going ok, and he hoped that giving him Haukea was the right thing to do. Some people liked space after all when they were having a panic attack, but he doubted that was Cahill’s MO. Coming over toward him Noah sat down and placed his back up against the counter making sure he was close but not too close. “Well if you need to, the floor is there” Noah replied gently pointing to the floor over there, praying to god that the big man didn’t somehow end up vomiting all over himself, or the dog. “But hopefully once we breathe together that will pass. Do you think you could breathe with me for a couple counts?” He asked glancing over towards his uncle.

As Noah moved closer, motioning towards the floor if he needed to throw up, Cahill was sliding his back down the wall until he hit the ground. Haukea seemed happy at the switch, as it allowed her the freedom to push up closer to him if she wanted. God, why was Noah still talking so loud? Sitting helped, plus the dog, plus the fact that the headache took away from most other sensations in his body, including the panic. "Yeah, yeah. But, aspirin. That. Lots." Full sentences would come later, for now it was good enough. He was shifting again as he said it, moving so that he was laying on the hardwood floor, arm coming up to drape over his face. Half to protect against the light and half to keep Haukea, now excited by the prospect of his face close enough to reach, from licking him too much. "I'm never drinking again."

“Yea. Thats what they all say” Noah chuckled slightly before settling up against the counter a little better “But anyway you can only have Asprin after you get your breathing back in order.” Noah replied watching his uncle sink even lower to the floor. And it was hard to watch from the other side now, Noah sitting still and quiet, when he remembered so vividly panic attacks that he used to have. But the most important thing he had learned from his years of therapy is while you feel like you feel like you might pass out, or you feel like you’d never be normal again, it was just that. A feeling. And even when it felt like you would feel this way forever, they eventually passed, the always did. So placing a hand on Cahill’s thigh Noah patted his uncle gently. “Alright let’s start with a 3 count. So In one, two, three” Noah started in a soothing voice, looking over to see if Cahill was following.

"Fuck." With his hands still running through Kea's fur, Cahill was matching Noah's breathing and letting his head lean back until it was rested against the wall. Closing his eyes, he managed a few good breaths and tried to bring his mind back to the present. After a pause, he glanced back towards the sink. No more flames from the toaster, which was good. He closed his eyes again, sighing. "There was a guy on fire at the bonfire."

“Out one two three” Noah murmured watching his uncle again. He couldn’t tell if the big man was actually calming down or not, but Noah figured he’d do a couple mores cycles just ot be sure. Especially after his uncle’s latest confession. “Shiiiiitttttttit” Noah breathed out in between it all trying to wrap his head around it. Maybe it was a good thing he hadn’t been at the big bonfire after all. “Did he make it?” He asked quietly trying to fit all the pieces together. Fire was a new one for them, but Noah knew from experience that it didn’t take much to send him back to that horrible day.

Shit. That was a fairly accurate way to portray the situation. He could think of a few other choice words, but those were kept in for the moment. "Yeah." Cahill simply agreed instead. It was shit. With a shrug, he groaned a bit and closed his eyes. There was too much happening in the last few minutes--last few hours, really--for him to be in the state he was in. "I don't know. He was talking still when the ambulance showed up." That was probably a good sign? He wasn't sure. He'd have to check in with Eliza later to see how he was later or if she knew anything; if he wasn't mistaken, she was working the night before. "I drank a lot after that. Too much after that."

“Well that is a good sign” Noah murmured reaching over to stroke Kea’s back a little. Nodding and feeling very very familiar with the whole ‘i drank too much after a traumatic event sentiment Noah patted his uncle again, unable to keep his need to be affectionate at bay. “Understandable, though-” He paused trying to figure out how to say what he was going to say next “Are you like ok or?” Noah shrugged out hoping his uncle would read between the lines. Because he knew from experience it was hard to ask for help after a triggering event, and harder even to admit that you might need it to keep from going back to that dark place.

Cahill wanted to sleep for the next forty-eight hours, and then some. As soon as Noah was patting his back and silence fell between them, he felt the awkwardness of sitting on the floor of their kitchen. He'd been the one that had just about lost his mind for a minute, there was a smoldering toaster in their sink, and his head felt like an entire drumline was beating against his temple. As soon as Noah was asking him if he was okay, he was waving it off. "I'm fine. My head, though." As he said it, he was giving Kea room to get off his lap and pushing himself up. "I'm going to go sleep this off. Next time I want to drink this much, kill me before I do." As he said it, he grabbed a glass to get water and headed down the hall to sleep in his actual bed.

Looking at his uncle Noah felt that it was more of a dismissal of the subject than a disinterest in talking but he didn’t have the heart to push any further. Cahill had never been the talk your problems out kind of person, so why would he ever start now? “Ok, well I’m going to clean this up, throw out the toaster and then probably sleep a little too” Noah answered with a nod looking out over their mess of a kitchen. “So sweet dreams” he called out to his Uncle watching with a bit more concern as the man padded down the hall. But luckily for the both of them he made it without a problem, which was a relief to say the least.

#touchofpotw #touchofchatzy #chatzy #c: this toasters on fire #cahillkalani #haukea kalani #//this is so late #but we lead bussy livesss #I'm sorrryyyy #potw: spring festival #potw: valentines mayday

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