#cagedpotential – lily a.

[fatesurvived]

For you it’s all just a game, isn’t it? @cagedpotential

It was rare that Barney and Lily were alone together but not unusual, his bragging of his latest conquests clearly wasn't bouncing off Lily as they typically did. Her words drew a scoff from the man followed by a deft shrug of his shoulders. ❝ Yeah, it is, Lily. If you don't like it you can go back home to your faithful husband but I'll still be here picking up girls. ❞

[venustrape-arch]

@cagedpotential [ lily ] | sc

the last few days have been a downer. their little group has never felt so lifeless – pun definitely not intended. watching one of your closest friends go through a loss is as rough as it gets. & it's a whole new type of helplessness, knowing there's nothing you can do to put a positive spin on what he's going through. but she will agree the best thing marshall could be doing right now is stay back in minnesota & spend time with his family – the kind of people who are actually good at giving each other comfort through the rough patches in life. it hasn't been her experience, but she's well aware how close the eriksens are. in the meantime, she's been ridiculously focused on lily. the man she loves is in pain & that means she's in pain. feeling each other's every feeling is a lily & marshall specialty, after all. so, she's been at her back & call ; doing chores for her when she's too sad to move, sitting with her when the silence in her home is too much to handle. & this time, in utmost canadian fashion, she showed up with a box of doughnuts for good measure. " what ? i spend most of my work day looking at sandy's face, i need these as much as you do. " small smile pulls at her lips as she makes herself comfortable on the couch & pops open the box, finally ready to warm up. it'd been raining like a bitch & if ted were here, he'd say some crap about the universe being sad alongside all of them, but she brushes off the thought. " ready to eat our feelings ? "

[mecwmellc]

@cagedpotential sent ""You can't use fireworks to cook!" / this is VERY barney x lily coded"

barney held his hand out to lily, something he had been doing quite often today as he explained his ideas to her. "lily, lily. it's fine, okay? this will make things go way faster, i promise. who has hours to cook a turkey?" he asked. "i mean, what could go wrong?" he knew that he was teasing her, but that was the fun of it.

[venustrape-arch]

it's a warm & fuzzy feeling. it sneaks up on her every time she's reminded how much of a priority she is to her best friend, even when it's not exactly a life & death situation. though the whole code red thing was definitely created for exactly that. " okay, i might have overplayed the emergency card. but i'm feeling very strongly about this. " frustrated sigh out, she pushes the door closed & turns to lily, hands on hips. " it's not about ted – i mean, it kind of is, but only by extension. it's karen. " even with her new sleeping schedule, she's been seeing enough of ted's new old girlfriend to understand marshall & lily's strong opinions about her. not to mention that ted's pretentious side, often dialed back or just put in check by the rest of them, got so much worse since she's been around. it's making her violent. " look, i know we said we'd cool it with the interventions, but maybe it's time to break out the banner. if i have to hear one more rant about hockey players being barbaric every time she sees me wear my jersey around the house, i might actually prove her right. & do you know she's been throwing away our bread ?? she keeps replacing it with these cardboard tasting crackers, i think i cut my tongue on one ! "

✉️ ➡ @venustrape (robin scherbatsky), i'm so glad you made time to see me.

a tender grin fills lily's features with warmth, almost surprised by how much robin underestimated their bond and just what she could always expect of her. but, we all need a little reassurance sometimes, even hot news anchors with daddy issues: wait, that actually makes a lot of sense, now that she thought about it. ❝ of course i did, silly ― you're my best friend. you call, i jump first and ask questions later. ❞ her smile only grew bigger at the sweet confession, trusting robin wouldn't take it literally as maybe jumping off a bridge is where healthy friends draw the line, ❝ but, now that we're here, allow me to ask: what's the code red critical emergency? it has to do with ted, doesn't it? ❞

[barbieidol]

🍒 maybe?

lily, did you know ?? that i would move mountains for you ?? i'm genuinely so grateful to know you. i hope to god that in all the time we've known each other i've given you at least half of the cheerleader energy you've given me because i swear you always know just what to say to make me have faith in my writing when i don't. it means so much coming from you because i've always loved your writing. i love how much care goes in your portrayals and how nicely each character's thought process comes through. and i love that we've got each other to brainrot with about ancient shows that the world's begging us to let die but we just ✨won't���. you're just the coolest bean and this community is lucky to have you in it, okay ? okay <3

@cagedpotential | 🍒

[venustrape-arch]

" nobody likes an angry woman. " her shoulders lift in a nonchalant shrug as she lifts the glass of bourbon up to her mouth, the weight of the feeling behind her words minimized in an instant. sooner or later, someone always finds a reason to leave. & she can act like her younger self's anger doesn't sit at the very foundation of each one, but lily would never buy her crap. maybe her relationships have failed. maybe her friendships haven't stuck. but even in the worst of times, lily doesn't deign to let go of the bond they have. it's been a while since she's acknowledged that. " except you. you get it. " maybe not the full extent of it, but she tries. " you have so much patience, you know ? thank you for thinking i'm worth that. "

@cagedpotential [ lily ] | 🎁

[venustrape-arch]

@cagedpotential [ lily ] | sc

it feels like she should be angrier. there's no shortage of people who have abandoned her one way or another in her life, but she's always found a way to cope – distractions do the trick well. normally, burying herself in work is her go-to. but this summer, she's been stuck in a blissful bubble of ignorance with ted. & if she's being entirely honest with herself now that the bubble is bursting, neither of them even thought to check in with themselves. not when marshall was falling apart right in front of them. they had to hold it together. & now that she's standing in front of the friend who left her behind without so much as a goodbye, she's wondering just how exactly she's expected to react. " lily. " she merely blinks, keys to her apartment chiming as her arm drops at her side. she has questions. because she wholeheartedly believes she should've been the one lily told. her friend should have known that when it comes to following aspirations to a new place on the map, she would have been the one to understand. why did she ghost ? why did she not keep in touch ? is she back for good ? " you're here. " some disbelief still lingers in the air. " – you dyed your hair. "

[mecwmellc]

@cagedpotential sent barney? what are you doing here? / from lily <3

when barney first heard that lily had packed everything and gone to san francisco for art school, he thought it was a joke. lily leaving everything behind? that didn't sound like her. but then marshall showed him the ring she had taken off and it set in. watching marshall live the single life was weird. it was always marshall and lily, not just marshall. and then some women started showing actually interest in him and things got even weirder. finally, barney couldn't take it anymore and got a taxi to the newark airport and a plane ticket to san francisco. if lily wouldn't come back home herself, then he'd have to drag her back home himself. barney was quick to knock once he found her apartment, he didn't want to waste any time.

"yeah, yeah, yeah. barney, what are you doing here? i can't believe it's really you. come in, have a seat. you want some tea? i know the apartment's small but i don't need much space. let me show you some of my paintings i think it's some of my best work ever - just stop it. lily, you have to come home. you and marshall belong together. you two have something that most people search their whole lives for and never find. i know you love him and if you knew what he was going through right now, you wouldn't be here for one more second," he said, grabbing towards something in the inside pocket of his suit. he pulled out a plane ticket back to new york and offered it to her. "i bought you a ticket home. marshall is one of the best people i know and it won't be long until someone else realizes that and you'll lose him forever. i can't stand the thought of that happening and i cannot keep stealing chicks from him forever."

[muzelor]

@cagedpotential might be onto something — still, that doesn't change the sentiment brewing within. one of his emotional baggages does weight down on his shoulders, even for just a moment. but there's hope, and hope prevails any doubt that crossed his mind. ❝ look, i know this will sound crazy, ❞ a strong argument to begin with nonetheless, ❝ but todaaay, when i was coming back from work i didn't take the usual route. ❞ cue ted falling victim to his own illusions, ❝ it's like something was telling me to not take the sub and just walk home. so i followed my gut. and guess what? ❞ both elbows which rested on top of the table now slid forward, leaning closer to lily as if to spill a grand secret — spoiler, it is not, ❝ there, in front of the arcadian, i saw her. i didn't catch a name, but she told me i will find her there tonight. it's weird, i know, but i just feel she's the one. i could've taken any other route but i took that one. and just like with you and marshall, i knew from the very start. ❞

❝ oh, yeah, i've never heard that one before. ❞ lily couldn't help the tinge of cynism covering her words, but it was hard not to be jaded after bearing witness to ted's dozens of failed love affairs over the years. however, it was her best friend duty to indulge the idea that, maybe, this time, whoever girl he was talking about would be the one. KEEP THE FLAME OF HOPE ALIVE WITH BRIGHT AND RENEWED SUPPORT. the beer really helped with that. hazel eyes warm up as a sympathetic smile curled at the corners of her lips, ❝ what makes you think this girl is future mrs. mosby, ted? ❞

[mecwmellc]

@cagedpotential sent "🎁 / barney for lily!" and got why we built the wall from ha.destown

"what do we have that they should want?"

[mecwmellc]

@cagedpotential sent "❛  are you trying to trick me ?  ❜ / from lily for barney 🥹"

"what? no, i would never trick you!" barney said, getting defensive. he held his hands up. "scout's honor!" he cleared his throat, thinking about what was going to say next. "i was just wondering if you coulddd maaaybbeee, ask robin about her date tonight?" he asked, purposefully dragging out the words before he got to the big question. "nothing else going on, i swear! i just wanna know." the two of them were in ted's apartment, waiting for everyone else to show up with dinner. barney was feeling antsy and he didn't know if it was because he was getting hungry or he had just asked lily to do something for him, which was an extremely rare occurrence but had been happening more and more lately as he dealt with these feelings for robin.

[mecwmellc]

@cagedpotential sent "they say what doesn't kill you makes you aware. / lilly to barney!"

"okay, but what if i don't want to be aware?" barney asked. "i thought you were going to be nice to me." telling lily about his feelings for robin hadn't be on his list for the day, but knew he had to tell somebody or he would burst and it couldn't be ted or marshall. "can we pretend this just never happened?" he asked, feeling embarrassed that he even admitted it in the first place.

[mecwmellc]

if alex was being honest, he wasn't sure what to expect when lexie stepped in front of meredith that other month. he's only known meredith for a year so far, but he still feels a need to protect her. he was the only one who called out george when he slept with meredith and started shaming her for it not working out. who fucking cares? then lexie was one of the interns placed with cristina, so they saw each other around the hospital a bit more. and now they were kinda sorta together? but anyone with eyes could see how she looked at mcdreamy, sorry, mcsteamy. alex scoffed at her question. "i do, actually. that's why i asked," he says. "you're not the only one with a shitty dad."

he shook his head when she then apologized. "no, no, i get it. no one wants to talk about this stuff." he went back to his chart as he thought of what to say next. "i don't know, i like you. you won't take yang's crap, for one. and your photographic memory will really come in handy the further you get in your internship, trust me."

✉️ ➡ @mecwmellc (alex karev), being aware of your crap and actually overcoming your crap are two very different things.

lexie grey wasn't a bitchy person. in her high school year book, almost 98% of her peers described her as a ray of sunshine, always ready to lend a hand in algebra and invite you to sit next to her at the cafeteria, no matter if you'd ever met before that or not. that's who lexie grey was, an inveterate optimist and people-pleaser, always looking out to make others feel good without taking stock of her boundaries (or lackthere of). but alex karev? alex brought out the bitch in her, alright. he pushed her buttons so effortlessly, buttons she didn't even know she had, to the point of blurting out really mean but absolutely truthful things she'd sworn to herself to never say out loud. things like her exasperation with everyone's judgements about her wrecked family life.

❝ you speaking from experience? ❞ she didn't even look at him, fiery chocolate eyes darted on a chart as her cheeks began to flush in self-embarrassment. the intern let out a sigh in her failed attempt to regain civil composture, ❝ i'm sorry, i didn't mean to jump at you, i just ― i appreciated it, you being there, that night you took me home and found my dad like that. you didn't have to do it, and it was a very nice thing to do, but i told you: from here on out, i don't want to talk about my dad. not with you, not with anyone, not even meredith. i was already forced to join the dead mothers club sooner than i would've expected, i'm not ready to join the adult childs of alcoholic parents club now, too, so, please ― as good as your intentions may be, just stay out of it. ❞ that should've been the end of it, but something inside lexie, let's call it curiosity, led her to ask one more thing before letting sleeping dogs lie, ❝ why do you care so much anyway? i thought that to everyone that's remotely close to meredith i was just the stalker, freaky intern that ruined her life by simply existing. ❞

[venustrape-arch]

she feels a little better now. it's kind of hard to stay mad at someone when they have the audacity to actually show remorse. it's especially hard when you happen to care about the person as deeply as she's come to care about lily. still, like she said, there's no excuse – she doesn't appreciate getting her feelings hurt. despite popular opinion & to her own frustration, she does actually have some of those. & she sure as hell doesn't believe in the whole 'you'll learn from it !' crap when it comes to emotional pain. sometimes you get burned & that's about the length of it. not everything needs to have a deeper meaning or to be dressed up in hope & optimism, no matter what ted would probably tell her.

" you know what sucks ? " she asks now, defeat in her voice, the start of a sad smile starting to pull at her lips. " i never stopped being on team lily. objectively – you pulled a very me move. i was a little proud... deep down. " she makes sure to clarify, scrutinizing gaze finally a little softer. " lil, just because i was mad at you doesn't mean i stopped loving you. i love marshall, but i don't have to hate you to do that. " maybe it would've been a completely different story if she'd never come back. she hardly thinks of hate as a word she could ever use in the context of their friendship, but lily would've definitely ended up in her metaphorical dungeon – some dark & scary corner of her mind that is best left unmentioned. her friend's words earn her a chuckle now, the tension in her body easing more & more by the second. " screw ted, that shampoo's mine. " she kids & hopes that's enough of an answer, but just to reinforce it, her arms wrap around lily in a much needed hug. her chin rests onto her shoulder with a sigh. " i am exceptionally awesome. a saint for not making you pick up our bar tab for a whole month just to get back at you, even. " a beat. " i missed you. "

robin's crude yet very true response feels like a million paper cuts spreading all over her body, and yet, it doesn't feel like enough, as she felt that karma owed her at least another two or three of those before they were close to calling it even. lily knew, deep down, the ripple-effect of pain and hurt her decision would have on those she loved most, and she still did it anyway. for that, whatever punishment or cruel remark they threw her way wasn't nearly mean enough.

she didn't really stop to think about how her leaving would impact robin, though. she was always so self-sufficient, independent to a fault, that for a second lily was fooled into thinking maybe she wouldn't feel her absence as much as maybe ted or marshall did. they needed her more. but, really, it was just easier to assume that than to face what she knew was true: just because she wasn't kicking and screaming or sobbing for her return didn't mean robin wasn't missing her just as much, but in a different, quieter way. ❝ you're right, i should've counted on you, but i just didn't want to put you in the middle of anything because of my mess. you're friends with marshall, too, and, to be honest, he deserved you as a friend more than i did. i felt so selfish, and i guess i weirdly tried to make it up to all of you by making it a little easier for you to hate me and love marshall instead. i know it's no excuse, but, still. ❞

lily hadn't noticed she'd been holding her breath until she let it all out and took a step closer to her at the first chance she got at comforting one of the victims of her misdoings, ❝ what? don't you dare insinuate for a second that a cute reporter chick is all you are to me. you mean so much more than that, robin, like, best friend level of much. the only reason i didn't pick up the phone is because i didn't think i deserved all that awesomeness. lily chuckles, and it's tempting to relish in the afterglow, so she dares to ask: ❝ is buttering you up helping my chances at forgiveness here? because it's not like i think i necessarily deserve it, but i could really use a cute reporter chick hug right now. plus, that way you could smell my brand new lavender shampoo and tell me if you'd like a bottle ― san francisco has great haircare products, and i brought a spare. it's either you take it or ted steals it out of feigned spite and very real, feminine interest. ❞

[venustrape-arch]

her heart breaks for her friends. codependent as they may be, they share the purest form of love she's had the opportunity to witness & it downright sucks to know they're grieving so far apart from one another. it's hard not to wonder if she's looking at some future version of herself – someone who could miss her partner this much. someone who could barely stand spending one night without them, let alone weeks. it would take some love, the head over heels kind, to turn the girl who's always been comfortable on her own into someone her past self would call pitifully pathetic. " sorry, shnookums. i don't think i do. & carrying my funeral bag around after said funeral kinda' defeats the purpose. " she jokes, tone soft as she moves her hand to wipe the sugar off lily's nose with one gentle brush. she might not know all the right answers, but the least she can do is put in her two cents. " i think it's good for him to be around family right now, lil. you know how freakishly close they are, this is not the kind of thing they can go through separated. " still, she could say the same about marshall & lily. she reaches for a jelly-filled donut of her own, frowning in thought as she chews through the big bite of fried dough. " did he specifically say he didn't want you to go ? or did you not want to ? i mean, i know how you feel about judy & vice versa, but... this seems like one of those situations where you put the weapons down & fraternize with the enemy a little. " a beat. " i'm not saying pack a big suitcase, but if you wanted to spend a few days over there – i don't think anyone would mind. least of all marshall. "

everything was so quiet. ever since marshall's dad died, they were all breathing rarified air: by sadness, grief, helplessness. and no one struggled to breathe it more than marshall, but, selfishly? for lily, the worst didn't come after his death ― it came after the man he loved, who was hurting, and she wanted nothing more but to suffocate with support, packed his overnight bag and drove to minnesota to be with his family. of course she understood, and didn't do anything to fight against it because the priority right now was marshall's well-being, but after building your life with someone, everything is in technicolor when you're with them: even the not-so-good seems better and more meaningful than without them, because, at least, you're fighting out of hurt because you truly care. now, everything was black and white in lily's world, even the little things.

but then she heard a knock on the door, and her heart skipped a beat, because even though it probably wasn't marshall, it was either robin or ted ― and the dooming silence would be over. she was kinda rooting for robin, though, which is why a smile stretched out over lily's lips at the brunette's sight. FINALLY, SOME OF THE COLOR CAME BACK TO THAT APARTMENT. ❝ scherbatsky, i was born ready. ❞ eating her feelings was an improvement to buying her feelings, right? lily props her feet up on the couch and takes one of the doughnuts, not missing a second to start letting out all she felt too stupid to say without an audience, ❝ it's just so powerless, you know? all i can do is sit here and hope that he feels good enough to come back soon, but i miss him. i miss him so much, robin, and what if he needs me? should i be calling more, am i giving him too much space? i wish there was a handbook on how to help someone you love grief. ❞ the readhead takes her first big bite, sugar getting on the tip of her nose, as she raises her eyebrows in curiosity, ❝ you don't happen to have one of those in your magic funeral suitcase, do you? ❞

[venustrape-arch]

she'd never had much luck in the friendship department. there was the occasional work colleague who would give her the time of day, though she didn't have much in common with them outside of work. there was glitter, who'd dumped her as soon as she decided robin didn't fit on her list of priorities anymore. she supposes the bond between her & her little sister has always been there, but that's different. so when ted came around & brought these people into her life, she felt hopeful for the first time in forever. her & lily just clicked – more easily than she could've imagined. still, maybe she should have learned her lesson. maybe she wasn't meant to have a best friend. & maybe it would've hurt less to see her gone without an explanation if she'd just kept things realistic.

words stay put at the back of her throat as she listens to the nervous rambles of a woman who clearly has regrets. & for a second, she considers swallowing her feelings the way she has all summer. but they're hard to ignore now. & ted isn't here to distract her this time around. her gaze drops as she nods her head, toying with the keys inside her hands again. " no, lily, it's not that you didn't keep in touch more. you didn't keep in touch at all. " it's a struggle to look her in the eye, but she manages. " i mean, seriously. i get that you were too ashamed to call marshall, but me ? you didn't think i'd understand wanting to leave your comfort zone & betting on yourself ? following your passion ? " she was never mad about her motives. not for one second. " but hell, you didn't even call ted, so i shouldn't have expected you to keep in touch with the reporter chick you've known for less than a year, right ? " lips purse together now that the bitter taste in her mouth found an outlet. " hair's cute, though. really. "

she expects them to be angry, all of them: robin, barney, ted, marshall ― okay, maybe not barney, but definitely ted, and marshall. specially marshall. to be honest, maybe she should add her own name to the list, 'cause lily wasn't sure she'd forgiven herself yet for the rash decision she made: she was impulsive, selfish and reckless with marshall's feelings, and for that, she wasn't sure she'd ever forgive herself. which is why, she couldn't blame him if he never found it in his heart to forgive her. AND THE SIMPLE THOUGHT OF THAT HAPPENING MADE HER WISH SHE'D NEVER HOPPED ON THAT STUPID PLANE TO BEGIN WITH.

the redhead takes robin's lack of screaming as a win, her deer-in-headlights demeanor being a better trade than anything she could've imagined as she waited for her at her doorstep, and all lily can musture up is a timid grin as she greets her friend back, ❝ hey. ❞ teeth bite down the inside of her lip, anxiously hitting for the storm of disappointment and hatred to hit, but it doesn't come. instead, lily is taken off-guard by the neutrality in her spoken observation. stuttering over her words, the failed painted starts to nervously ramble, ❝ y-yes, yes i did, y'like it? i figured new city, new color, y'know, so i guess it's true, what they say about us girls changing our hair when going through major life events, and moving to san francisco and practically leaving my fiancé was, well, just that. ❞ lily can feel her mouth drying up, and so she changes the subject before it physically kills her to think about what happened three months ago, ❝ how have you guys been? i know i kinda don't have a right to ask, so you don't have to tell me if you don't want to, but i really did miss you guys. i'm sorry i didn't keep in touch more, i was just ― too embarrassed. ❞