#cacofonix headcanons

[alisterix]

Thoughts on Troubadix/Cacophonix being the village gay? The mascot of homosexuality so to speak? Everyone's gay uncle even? The guy freshly discovered gays go to for advice perhaps?

Oh ABSOLUTELY YES he is UNDISPUTABLY GAY. He is ✨THE✨ GAY. When you search "gay" in a dictionary a picture of Cacofonix shows up. He is the village gay, the mascot of homosexuality, everyone's gay uncle, he is an icon and he is the moment.

Aside from being the village bard he is also a teacher if I remember correctly...? At least he was in some volumes. It would make the most sense for him to be good with kids. I also headcanon him as trans personally, I've fallen in love with the idea. He can give the trans kids of the village so much support and guidance, too. "Look... I felt this way too, but Panoramix healed me with his potion. It's all good, it doesn't hurt, look me at me now. I'm doing great and I'm happy. That's going to be you, too, I promise." 💙💗

Uncle Cacofonix would give the best guidance and support to queer kids. I mean, the confidence on this guy! He is a bard that can't sing for shit and who nobody wants to listen to, and yet he still does what he wants to because it is who he is and it makes him happy. He's so unapologetically living his truth regardless of what everyone else thinks of him and he doesn't let anyone crush his spirit no matter how much they try to silence him. He would be the person to say "Don't let anybody stop you from being yourself. You are perfect the way you are and shouldn't have to change for anyone." If that isn't one of the most powerful and important lessons to teach to children then I don't know what is.

What if the queer kids he helped are the only ones willing to listen to his music because of that message...? They ask him to sing them a song and he's very surprised, asking them what makes them want to listen to a bad bard. And one of them says "You may be a bad bard, but you're a good person. You're the best! You tell us all the time how we should be ourselves and do what makes us happy, but what about you? We want you to be happy, too."

And Cacofonix is so touched by that he can't even hide the tears in his eyes-

...and naturally ends up bragging about it later to all the adults and throwing shade at them xD

"Unlike you, children can actually appreciate my art. There is more respect and care for the artist and his work in that little kid's finger than in all of your bodies combined."

"That's just concerning. Are we sure their hearing is developing correctly? Hopefully they'll grow out of it."

*Cacofonix gets offended and leaves* 😂

[aliecaveblau]

Memes de Astérix en español.✨ (Memes of Astërix in spanish)

Realmente hay muy pocos memes de Astérix en español y creo la comunidad hispanohablante es muy limitada, igualmente quiero dar mi pequeño aporte.

(There are really very few memes of Asterix in Spanish and I think the Spanish-speaking community is very limited, I still want to give my little contribution.)

[alisterix]

Oh that's ok!!! It's a post from 2019 after all haha I don't blame you, I thought it was still worth a shot but I'll share my thoughts then, I just really wanna talk about it ❤️

Since you mentioned the idea of a transition potion existing I started thinking about it and had a sad thought that it would suck if one of the potion's side effects was that it messes up your voice and that's why Cacofonix is not a good bard 💔 It would be kinda funny though if that wasn't the case but he though it was.

Cacofonix: you bully me because I'm trans : (

The other Gauls: What? No! Your pre transition voice also sucked! We just weren't allowed to hit you then! 💀💀💀

Is it just me or is that strangely endearing that they'd beat him up like no big deal? Like I'd be insanely insulting to rather hesitate and go soft on him because "he's not a real man". Lmfao gender affirming cartoon violence

Can you please elaborate on your trans Cacofonix headcanon if that's ok? I would love to hear more about it, I like the way you think ❤️

Fucking. I forgot about that one. I am sure I had a very clever and canon reason for that. But I do not remember anymore. Fuck.

[alex-procrastinates]

my thoughts on the magic potion

HELLO i am so sorry i havent done any finished art in ages. school is kicking my ass and probably will continue to kick my ass for a while yet, but i promise i am working on things! and i am very excited to get them finished! im just swamped with homework and kinda suck at time management lol

but in the meantime, i have a 17 page google doc where i put all my asterix headcanons when i think of them, so i thought i would share my ideas about how the magic potion works :D

The potion is said to increase someone’s strength tenfold. That means it only builds on the strength they already have.

This means the potion will work differently for different people, based on their original level of strength.

For most people, they have about the same average strength, so the potion will appear to have the same effect on them. This is also due to the fact that the potion is simply so powerful that everyone who drinks it is insanely strong relative to non-potion drinkers. However, in some cases, the differences are noticeable.

For example, Fulliautomatix would have more brute strength than, say, Cacofonix, when on the potion. Or Asterix would be able to run faster than Geriatrix when on the potion.

The potion builds on strengths the person already has - for Asterix, it makes him extremely fast, as he is already agile and a fast runner without it. For Cacofonix, it allows his voice to create more powerful soundwaves, which can even have physical effects. 

(Edit: As pointed out by @elkaos, this actually conflicts with some of the books, where the potion is shown to have the same effect on everyone, and that's relevant to the plot in some cases. I did sort of know this, but it slipped my mind somewhat while I was writing this post. So I guess I'll have to retcon either this idea or the events of books 3 and 12 from my headcanon. These headcanons are based on my own interpretation of Asterix, which is inspired by a lot of fanfics and other creators' ideas as well as the books. Personally I find the idea of the potion's effects varying from person to person more logical, as it's described as multiplying the drinker's strength tenfold. Although maybe the effect being the same has something to do with how it was developed? I've seen a fic where the secret ingredient of the potion is Vercingetorix's ashes - maybe it's something like that where the essence of a person is used in the potion and its effect is equivalent to that person's strength multiplied tenfold.)

The potion also increases a person’s durability - their bones, ligaments, tendons, organs and muscles are stronger and more resistant to damage. This is necessary to make sure that they don’t injure themselves by doing things like punching solid rock. 

Even if they do get injured, which can happen when they are faced with sharp blades, the potion also fills their system with adrenaline, which means they usually don’t feel and are not really affected by most injuries until after the potion wears off.

The potion also increases the drinker’s stamina and speed, although this also varies depending on the drinker’s non-potion-enhanced abilities.

Obelix is a special case. But why exactly did drinking a whole cauldron of potion make it have a permanent effect on him? The potion’s effects can’t be stacked by drinking more potion while you’re already under the effects. 

I suppose the quantity of potion does matter when determining how long the effects will last - the more potion is flowing through the drinker’s bloodstream, the longer it will take to dilute enough to not have an effect anymore.

Wait. If the potion flows through the drinker’s bloodstream, then how does it have an immediate effect? Digesting it would take at least a few hours.

I guess it might have some magical property that lets it sort of phase into any blood vessels it encounters? So maybe it just radiates out from the stomach, gets to the heart really quickly and starts being pumped around the body almost immediately.

So if Obelix drinks, like, his entire body weight in potion, it’s probably going to last long enough in a large enough quantity to spread and be infused into practically every part of his body, so that then his bone marrow actually starts to make potion-infused blood. 

Therefore, every cell that blood flows to, which is basically every cell in his body, is enhanced by the potion, so it becomes an actual part of his biological composition. His blood, muscles, organs, bone marrow, fat, saliva, even his stomach acid is infused with magic potion. The only things that aren’t are his hair and nails.

This is why the permanent effects of the potion are so important to his survival. There would have been a couple of years where they could have gotten it to wear off, but that would probably have involved bloodletting or something, and obviously they’re not going to do that to a six-year-old kid. It doesn’t cause him any adverse effects, anyway, so it’s not something that needs to be reversed. He’ll just have to learn to control his strength.

He wasn’t the strongest before he fell into the potion, but because of how the potion became an actual part of his muscle tissue, he was still able to grow his muscles like a normal person would - just with much heavier weights, like menhirs. Which he has probably been lifting and carrying nearly every day since about his mid-teens. Also because the potion is part of his bone marrow and the blood his body makes is naturally infused with the potion, it creates a sort of positive feedback loop where the effects of the potion, and therefore his strength, keep increasing. This is why he seems to be stronger than the other villagers on the potion, and why his feats of strength increase in magnitude across the series, until Chariot Race when he’s able to catch the huge lump of volcanic rock that explodes out of Mt Vesuvius.

The potion also increased his durability to a very high level. His bones are as hard as granite, and his skin is also quite thick and resistant to cuts. He can still get hurt, but it takes a lot, and almost never happens. This is also why he is so mobile and flexible despite being obese. 

Obelix is a bit of an extreme case, but for everyone who drinks the potion regularly (mostly just Asterix and maybe some of the other warriors, hunters or guards), it speeds up their metabolism considerably in order to provide them with the large quantities of energy they need to function while on the potion. This is how Asterix is able to eat most of a boar nearly twice his size. (Although that was pushing it and he usually doesn’t need that much energy.)

The potion does not actively heal wounds except in the very short term, when it can exacerbate the effect of adrenaline to such an extent that it will completely heal minor to moderately serious wounds if taken within about a minute after sustaining the injury. However, it does give the body more energy, enabling it to heal faster. It also helps the immune system fight infection and the body to remake lost blood. 

It won’t cure concussions, but it does get rid of them faster and reduces long-term damage. (This is how Asterix can have had no less than six concussions in the space of a few years and not feel any lasting effects.)

Chronic illnesses and fatigue can be treated, but not cured by the potion. It unfortunately doesn't help with nerve pain, because there's no wound for it to help heal or inflammation/ bacteria/ etc. for it to fight.

Over time, this will cause regular potion drinkers to have stronger immune systems and heal more quickly. (Cacofonix still gets sick easily, but without the potion he’d probably have been dealing with asthma or an autoimmune disease. Obelix still gets hay fever in spring, but I guess maybe the potion doesn’t help with allergies. He does sometimes get mild colds and stuff, but the potion protects him from a lot of more serious diseases.)

The potion also increases a drinker’s core body temperature slightly and makes it easier to maintain, which is how all the Gauls can walk around in the snow either in sleeveless tops or just straight up shirtless, with only maybe a scarf or gloves to keep them warm. This effect also lingers over time if you drink the potion regularly. (Or if you’re Obelix. He’s like a walking heater.)

In Asterix the Gaul, we see the Gauls take potion regularly and use their strength for everyday tasks. This is because they used to take potion in shifts, so that some people would always be ready to go fight the Romans if they attacked. Doing chores while on the potion was just an added convenience. (As I speculated earlier, the potion lasts longer if you drink more of it, so maybe they used to drink more potion with each dose to make it last longer - maybe half or even a full day.)

This seemed like a great strategy until one day, a new centurion decided to attack the village at an unexpected time. The people who were on the potion went out to fight, but Asterix's potion wore off mid-battle. Not realising in time, he got into a fight with the centurion and ended up getting pretty badly hurt. (Inspired by this post - I came up with this idea while I was thinking about what might have happened in that scenario)

After that, they decided to just take the potion when needed to prevent something like it happening again. This also enabled Getafix to spend more time experimenting with new potions because he wasn’t making the strength potion every day.

so yeah! that's all i got. thanks so much if you read this whole thing. hopefully i'll have time to finish something else soon :D

[the-ultimate-chaos-bringer]

Okay so I'm currently obsessed with these little gaul guys, so I'm gonna infodump some headcanons onto y'all whether you like it or not. (haha sorry not sorry)

Asterix and Obelix had never actually labeled their relationship, but it is a very well known in their village, that they're partners™, don't do basically anything without each other and anyone who would try to get in between of them would experience how stupid idea was that pretty intensely

Obelix, eventhough he's bigger and strangers tend to assume he's also very dominant, likes to let Asterix take the lead. It's not just because he knows how much his smaller significant other likes it, but he also admires his leading skills.

Both, Asterix and Obelix can cook, but Asterix almost never does it, because the routine of it bothers him more than anything (the same goes with cleaning and shopping). On the other hand, Obelix enjoys the whole process and likes to observe how people like the meals he prepared. He also bakes.

Falbala (Panacea) knows about Obelix's crush on her (and honestly thinks it's sweet), but also knows it's just platonic (Asterix would throw hands if it wasn't!) and is fully ok with it.

Cacofonix (Assurancetourix) is The Gay of the village and everyone knows it, no question asked. He and Asterix are practically two sides of one coin and they fully respect & support each other.

Getafix (Panoramix) can make "trans" potion - which gives you basically gender affirming surgery. (Only can't make you taller/shorter.)

[felis-rach]

I absolutely love your Asterix fanarts, your designs are so creative :D (and fantastic as well, I'm still swooning over your Caesar and his piercing eyes ❤)

I'm curious, do you have any headcanons you want to share ? Thank you for the great art !

Thanks a lot! I've read this series since I was like, ten, and it was very fun to rediscover it with the fandom mindset. (and yeah sadly i simp for stupid Julius so i had to do him justice)

About headcanons, hmm, most of them are very spefic for some fic I plan with a buddy of mine and would be a little complicated to explain here. But I do have some I can:

- The potion works a little different for every gaul. For example: Asterix gets very faster since he's so small, but beacuse of that he's not very resistent and can be trown away easily. - and on that note: you know that one scene in the mansion of gods movie where everyone shines in a different color when they drink the potion? I think it would be cool if everyone had some cool glowing markings, war-paint style, too, that vary among them (asterix's would be lighting-shaped and fulliautmatix's woul be fire-shaped, for example) which i started drawing but haven't finished yet but I'll post it here someday. probably - Asterix and Obelix are the only one who have permanent markings. Obelix because "fell into the cauldron" reasons and Asterix because he drinks too much of the potion. But they only shine when they fight. - If you drink two consecutive doses of the potion, that leaves you twice as strong, but you'll get a terrible fever or worse after. So Getafix recommend strongly that this should be avoided at all costs.

and now i'll just trow some headcanons for my ship under the cut and leave-

- Asterix and Cacofonix started dating after Asterix the Gladiator because I'm an etternal sucker for rescue stories in romance - Asterix is ace - And they kind of adopted Pectine because she may be a movie only character but I love that girl. Also, since Getafix acts like her grandpa and i see asterix as his pretty much son, this is only a logical step. Also also, it is stated in the golden sickle that Cacofonix is one of the teachers in the village so he would know her well as a student. Anyways. This hc just make me very happy

[smol-opal-2001]

Headcanoning on wat my fav characters from asterix and obelix smell like

First we have asterix

Tbh he would probally smell like the forest in a rainy day.

Obelix would probs smell like roasted boar and after a day of carrying menhirs and working on it he would probs smell like sweat but he cleans himselfs after.

Now we have our favorite boi cacofonix

I bet he smells really good cause he always clean.

Next we have fulliautomatix: he would smell mostly of iron and sweat alot and also smoke.

Panoramix would mostly smell like mistletoe tbh

He would also smell like a doctors office ahsisjjsjs like dat good smell ya kno

NOW LAST BUT NOT LEAST

unhygienix: looks musty always smells like rotten fish 🤢🤢 dat man needs to wear shoes cause its gross

[papas-cheeseria-gay]

Ehh idk. I think my headcanons just. Changed. I did see rita as a lesbian but now i see her as like. Bi with a super big girl preference. Also omg cacofonix... - amii

rita does look like she’s not straight. i like bi rita

also im gonna have to give him a makeover cause he looks a bit ratchet. also the melody the toy plays is very obnoxious and i think this is the first time that the mcdonalds toy audio quality has like lent itself to making the toy better

[alisterix]

Asterix and Obelix in a queerplatonic relationship because I'm in one and I ✨project✨

More Asterix pride icons!

Trans Cacofonix for @obelixetcompagnie cause I appreciate the way you think 💗💙

[this-potato]

Hmhnmhhmhmhmhmhmhm ooooh yeah there is Mansion of the Gods, the Secret of the magic potion aaaaand Attention! Menhir. But small part of my collection

Toutatis have mercy on my soul, how did I forget Asterix and the Big Fight movie existed when it delivered us THIS Cacofonix moment:

Like yassss king the piercing, the stage, the drama!!! Slay! Rock on you absolute icon of homosexuality. I am so living for this.

[skopostheorie]

OKAY time to recollect my thoughts about this movie. both the movie in general and what changed in the english translation

teleferix’s name is now cholerix! which is pretty. WOW :( idk what the pun ‘teleferix’ meant (not THAT good at french yet lol) but choleric means “irritable” and “obsolete” so like. WOW :(

the “they dont share a beard” scene was funnier in english to me because astérix said “one beard per druid” which just made me LOSE it for some reason idk

pectin still owns my heart :] actually now that i think about it why didnt her name end with an a. what. is she not actually a gaul????? is she adopted??????? what are you DOIGN here miss pectin where are your parents who ARE your parents

english astérix doesnt scream as much as french astérix it’s a huge loss

OBÉLIX HAS FRECKLES IN THIS MOVIE...... ALL MY HEADCANONS ARE ALWAYS RIGHT. SO WHEN ARE THEY GOING TO MAKE ASTÉRIX GAY

we honestly dont get to see astérix that much in this movie at all now that i think about it. it’s very much getafix’s movie

so i do hope at least demonix remains canon. pectin as well but i can imagine her causing some plot problems so if she gets cut i’d understand

the translation to “pretty but pointless” was cut in favour of “lovely but useless” which. was SO stupid??? pretty but pointless has such a nice ring to it why did they

CASSIUS CERAMIX!!!!!!!!!!!!! THERE’S A REFERENCE TO ASTÉRIX AND THE BIG FIGHT IN THIS MOVIE!!!!!!! HE COMES BACK!!!!

so i guess he got his memory back??? idk

JESUS IS IN THIS MOVIE

the senator’s called tomcrus.... idr what he’s called in the french version but god. god that is so funny GOD

that part where asterix goes missing is so sad bcos u can see RIGHT before he notices the romans and spies on them..... he tries to go back and find the others. he was going to go home and apologise to obélix and getafix and friends but he didnt get the chance :(

OBÉLIX CAN DRIVE

WHO WAS THE SECOND DRUID WHO WAS APPARENTLY AS TALENTED AS CHOLERIX???? WHO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LET ME SEE HIM

demonix is still one of my favourite astérix characters EVER. i love him so much. he’s both evil in the typical fire-destroy-everything way but also in the sinister “i’ll treat you like my own and make you think i love you and care about you before throwing u away” way. HE’S SO GOOD

that part which cholerix in the credits

SO WERE DEMONIX AND GETAFIX FRIENDS??????? IS THIS A FRIENDS TO ENEMIES STORYLINE IS THAT WHAT YOURE TELLING ME??????????? [GOES HAM]

“DON��T YOU CHIEF CACOFONIX ME!” ?????????????????????what does that mean

“are we an apricot” got turned into “thought you were a ripe little peach” i. ?????? neither makes sense

keep on liking my posts and we gonna end up like this

[skopostheorie]

Gay Cacofonix is like my biggest Asterix headcanon since I know what gay means. He NEVER felt any attraction towards any female character, and in the most recent Asterix movies (the secret of the magic potion and the short they've made for the new 4D ride at the Theme Park) he has become VERY sassy. Plus yeah music bitch.

YEAH CACOFONIX IS GAY!! i've always hced him as that lol, and just about everyone seems to agree lmao. i also hc him as trans but if i elaborated on that we'd be here all day

[papas-cheeseria-gay]

Omg... soleil really bought a cacofonix cosplay and forgot it was her partners birthday huh. Cool u got the lamp! - amii

what a mess she is. i have a personal headcanon that she spent the day with him while i was away and when i came back today walker came over to avery cause he’s baby and loves parties

[skopostheorie]

Can you please elaborate on your trans Cacofonix headcanon if that's ok? I would love to hear more about it, I like the way you think ❤️

Fucking. I forgot about that one. I am sure I had a very clever and canon reason for that. But I do not remember anymore. Fuck.