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ihaveathingforwomen · 3 months ago

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Mock Trial - Professor AU

Professor!Alex Cabot x Fellow!Casey Novak

Chapter 7 - Masterlist

Word Count: 4.5k

Summary: Casey asks for Alex's help, they make the most of the situation.

A/N: First of all, I'm sorry (Not) for the feelings I am about to hurt. I know ya'll are thinking this is it, it's finally happening. But there's so much more in store - please, I'm begging- bear with me. ALSO Thank you SO MUCH to my lovely partner, @novelsandlove, for helping me write the cross-examination. I didn't realize I would have to become a fucking law student to write fanfiction but here we are.

Alex’s flight home brought great relief for her. The daydreams on her flight were filled with her friends, Toby, and, of course, Casey. The clock had run out for her patience and she was beginning to mill over how she was going to confess to Casey. Before getting on her flight, she messaged George and Liv, asking to meet with them so that they could advise her further. During the flight, she took her legal pad and made notes of possible ways to talk to Casey about her feelings and possible opportunities to do so.

One of the first opportunities she considered was when Casey picked her up at the airport. Though, she decided against it when the time came. Casey looked stunning, waiting patiently at baggage claim for Alex. It was one of her more casual outfits, jeans and a sweater as it was cooling down at the beginning of November. Their drive was comfortable and fast, Casey driving in consideration of Alex’s jet lag. Casey gave Alex the opportunity to discuss the conversation with her father, how her cousin was doing, and how annoying the rest of her family had been. In between, Casey told her about how her students were fairing and how her classes were doing as she prepares for finals which are quickly approaching.

The next opportunity was going to be when they arrived back at Alex’s apartment. The outlook was bright as their conversation never ceased even when Casey helped Alex unpack her things and get settled back in. At one point, they stood in the kitchen together where Casey made Alex stand still so that she could detail everything she had bought in terms of food. Casey, fully aware that Alex does not have time, energy, or skill to consistently cook for herself, made a point to buy or make things that Alex could manage. With all of the time they’ve spent together over the last year or so, Casey was able to recall many foods or meals that Alex enjoyed. She prepared and froze a few casseroles, desserts, soups, and a few miscellaneous other things, and made sure to leave Alex a stack of notecards with instructions for them. Casey also made a point to buy “safe foods,” as she and Alex called them, that Alex could eat on bad or busy days. Frozen chicken tenders, Alex’s favorite mac n cheese brand, an assortment of nuts, protein bars, granola, cereal, and so on.

As Casey detailed these plans she’d made, Alex couldn’t keep her eyes off of her. Her mind watched for every moment in which she could reach out and grab her hips, pulling her in for a kiss, which she hoped would be reciprocated. When Casey finally finished her lecture, she approached Alex with a smile, apologizing for spending so much. Alex, of course, deflected her apology and expressed sincere thanks, pulling her into a hug. While in their embrace, Casey happened to glance at her watch, and gasped. She exclaimed that she had a study group with Charlie that she was going to be late for, and rushed out of the apartment. Alex held no hard feelings about the sudden departure, but she realized she would have to actually plan the right moment rather than waiting for it.

The days in November ticked away, and Alex still felt hesitant about each plan that she had made. They went back to their normal routine, distancing themselves as Casey had believed they should in her blissful ignorance of Alex’s intentions. Even if she had been made aware, it’s likely they would not have seen each other much more anyway, as the stress of the semester was beginning to increase. Their office meetings were now times where Casey would recline on Alex’s couch and read or review cases for her own classes while Alex worked, occasionally staring at her crush. Their texting became sporadic too, as Casey now attended many study groups or different meetings for the associations she was a part of to wrap up the semester. Of course the circumstances cause them both to feel twinges of sadness every now and then, but it allowed for Alex to plan a potentially perfect time to express her affections.

The staff and faculty plan a small holiday party for the fellows at the end of the semester. Alex normally is heavily involved in the planning, but because of her family emergency, she was unable to participate as much. Instead, she offered to provide whatever supplies the committee requested. Since her responsibility lowered, Alex was now capable of distancing herself from responsibility at the party, allowing her to potentially spend more time with Casey. She inquired from Liz about details she would need, of course: date, time, location, foods, alcohol, et cetera. This year, the party is going to be held on the day of the last final, with winter break starting promptly afterwards.

With that information, Alex made it up in her mind that she was going to ask Casey if she could drive her to the party, offering to be her designated driver. Ideally, Casey will accept and Alex will pick her up. They would have a good experience at the party and Alex would take her home, hopefully not too intoxicated, and tell her then. Her mind spun with excitement at the thought, dreaming up all of the ways that Casey might respond. With high hopes, she geared up for positive responses only. Whenever she engaged with Casey before that point, her demeanor was elated.

The Friday before finals week, also before the holiday party, Casey spent most of her day in the library. Feeling as though her eyes were about to bleed and fall out of her skull, Casey closed her textbooks and picked up her phone. Her phone has been silenced for days now, dead week taking over every bit of energy she had left.

Casey: Are you in your office? I have a question for you.

Sending the message, she hesitates, something else on the tips of her fingers. Even though they haven’t seen each other as much, Casey feels like their chemistry has exploded.

Casey: Also, I miss you

Turning her phone off, she takes a deep breath as she packs up her belongings. Yet again, Alex’s words from more than a month ago ring clear in her mind. Don’t let the good ones go. She tried over and over to decipher what Alex was experiencing and what she could’ve meant. Her heart naturally assumed that her cousin had encouraged her to pursue their relationship. Though, her brain, still in disbelief that Alex ever liked her in the first place, pushes that assumption back and exchanges it for a more reasonable one. Perhaps, Alex was merely advocating for the position her father told her about.

That one left Casey feeling conflicted. She had just started her application for a position as a junior assistant district attorney in New York City. The application is long and thorough and very selective. She knows that any offer she receives, if she gets one at all, will depend on whether or not she passes the bar this coming summer. On the optimistic end of the spectrum, Casey gets the job of her dreams and passes the bar exam. The only thing that taints that dream in obscurity: Alexandra Cabot becoming her boss.

Starting to feel queasy at the thought, Casey’s phone dings to distract her.

Alex <3: I miss you too, Case. I’m in my office, have been all day. :)

Casey smiles, her adoration (or dare she say love) for Alex suppressing any anxiety she has about the future. With her things gathered, she begins her trek up to Alex’s office. She steps into the door frame, knocking lightly against it before coming in and closing the door behind her, as is routine for them by now.

“Hi,” Alex greets her happily as she closes a few tabs on her computer and turns to watch her favorite visitor.

“Hey,” Casey sets her things down on the couch and goes to Alex’s desk. She rounds the edge, coming onto Alex’s side and pushing herself onto the desktop, her hands bracing against the wood behind her.

Alex, feeling breathless already, looks Casey from bottom to top, eyes lingering at her knees and throat. “You have a question?”

Casey grins and nods, avoiding Alex’s eyes. “Yes, I do.”

Alex leans back in her chair, trying not to stare at the younger woman before her. “What is it?”

Casey licks her bottom lip, taking it between her teeth and releasing it in distress as she answers. “Could I come over and could you help me with my oral arguments for Trial Practice?”

Alex grins and screws her eyes shut for a moment, nodding. “Yes, of course, Casey.”

Casey sighs in relief, “thank you. Professor Taft has been an asshole and I feel like I haven’t learned anything from him.” She turns to Alex, inspecting her demeanor as she notes.

Alex fights a grimace, “That’s what I’ve heard. I try to avoid him,” she states. “He’s tenured.”

Casey rolls her eyes, “I know. I can’t believe they let him get tenured.” She shakes her head in defeat and turns back to Alex. They hold each other’s gaze for a moment, something they’ve been doing more of lately. Neither of them know that they both think about the other’s lips.

“Also,” Casey starts, breaking their tension, “I will make dinner for us when I come over.”

Alex starts to shake her head, leaning forward and putting a reassuring hand on Casey's knee. “You don’t have to do that, it’s okay. I think I still have frozen dinners from when you watched Toby. You need to save your energy for exams,” her eyes traveling up Casey’s figure. Casey hesitates for a moment, the vision before her sending shivers up her spine. Alex reminds her of a devoted apostle looking up at her deity.

She smiles, placing a hand on Alex’s cheek and stroking it softly with her thumb. “I want to make you dinner, Alex. It’s payment for helping me, okay?”

Recognizing the power she has over Alex, she streaks her thumb across her lips before withdrawing her hand and getting off of the desk. She grabs her things, her chest heavy with arousal, and starts to leave. “Tonight, at seven?”

Alex looks up, the air only just starting to return to her lungs. She nods, “that works.”

----------

That night, a little after seven, Casey arrives at Alex’s with a quiet knock. Alex pops up from her couch, trying to convince herself she wasn’t twiddling her thumbs while impatiently waiting for the redhead. Opening the door, she finds Casey with her arms full of books and groceries.

“Oh my God, are you moving in?” She quips, trying to take things from Casey’s arms.

“Not unless you ask me to,” Casey responds without thinking. Her face turns a light scarlet as soon as she hears her words. She avoids Alex’s eyes and makes her way into the apartment.

Alex, recognizing Casey’s desire to avoid her own statement, ignores it. “Why did you bring so much stuff?” She laughs, setting the books on the dining room table.

“Well, I couldn’t remember what you had here. So, to be safe, I brought some of my own things to cook with and I bought some ingredients too.”

Alex stares at all of the things spread out on the table now: Textbooks, Casey’s laptop, legal pads with notes scribbled all over, sticky notes, colored tabs, pens and highlighters, noodles, chicken broth, seasonings, and so much more. Her eyes scan the table, watching as Casey organizes everything into piles. She decides to start their conversation by straying from the topic of cooking, trying to get a sense for how to help Casey. “Trial Practice, is it for criminal or civil?”

Casey continues rearranging without looking up, “criminal.” She gathers the groceries she’d displayed on the table and makes her way into the kitchen. “Hungry yet?” She asks Alex with a grin, her dimples clear in her cheeks.

Alex grins and goes to sit at the bar to keep Casey company. “Starving,” Alex tells her, eyes twinkling as she watches Casey search for utensils. Casey’s cheeks burn a faint rosy shade, imagining in her mind that she’s cooking for her girlfriend. Ever since she spent the week in Alex’s apartment, she began to come to terms with just how much she liked Alex. At first, she believed her feelings to be pure infatuation due to her physical attractiveness and their power dynamic. But, since spending more time together this fall, she finds that there are many attributes about Alex that she adores. Alex’s intelligence, kindness, considerate-nature, her conversation, and their natural connection have all led to her developing legitimate feelings for her professor.

While Casey cooks, Alex starts to wonder if her moment is quickly approaching. Casey seems to be laughing more and even flirting. Nearing the end of her cooking, Casey allows a few things to simmer. And as she does, she sets her elbows on the countertop across from Alex, resting her chin on her hands so that they are at eye level, their lips just mere inches apart. Their conversation is quiet and sweet, discussing anything that comes to mind and giggling whenever jokes arise. While they speak, Alex’s eyes consistently drift down to Casey’s lips. Each time, she imagines herself whispering to Casey that she loves her and kissing her softly. When she imagines this interaction, her lips tingle and blood rushes to them. Eventually, the timer sounds and Casey is done cooking, abandoning Alex at the bar to plate their food.

While they eat at the dining table Alex never uses, Alex questions her about her Trial Practice final. Casey explains that it’s taking the form of a mock trial, as it normally does, in which four professors will act as witnesses for the students to question. She explains that she was chosen to argue the prosecutor’s side. With that came a contest between her peers to see who would deliver the opening argument for extra credit. She won the contest, which initially excited her, but Taft’s behavior as of late made her nervous. Alex then questioned her on the evidence they were utilizing in the mock trial, aiming to be sure Casey knew each item in as much detail as possible.

When they finished eating and Alex was content with how well Casey knew her evidence, she offered to clean up for them. Casey declines and Alex insists, reasoning that it would be a perfect opportunity for Casey to rehearse her opening argument and focus on her tonal delivery. Alex recalls her time as a prosecutor, wishing someone had guided her more in law school about the importance of tone. Word choice and body language do wonders to compensate for tone, but it does not resolve all issues. While Alex washes the dishes for Casey, she instructs her to start her opening argument. Casey does as she’s told, pacing behind Alex rather than sitting.

Occasionally, Alex will interrupt and ask if Casey is insinuating some emotion with the tone she slipped into. Casey will, of course, object and correct herself. After a couple of run throughs, Alex finishes the dishes. She turns around, leaning against the counter and drying her hands on a towel. She smiles, her eyes twinkling, as Casey finishes the end of her opening statement.

“That was perfect, Casey. You’re a natural,” Alex compliments.

Casey diverts her gaze to the ground, smiling softly, “Thank you.” She takes a shaky breath, her throat sore from speaking clearly and for so long. “Now, on to questioning?” She asks wearily.

Alex folds the towel and sets it on the counter. She smiles sympathetically at Casey, remembering how dry her throat felt when she did her first mock trial. “Yes, do you want more water first?”

Casey nods, feeling pathetic, but thankful she didn’t have to ask. Alex turns and grabs a glass from the cabinet then fills it with ice and water from the refrigerator, handing it to Casey. Their fingertips brush against each other and Casey thanks her with a nervous grin. She exits the kitchen, Alex close behind, and sets the glass on the dining room table. For a second, Alex feels the impulse to walk up behind Casey and wrap her arms around her waist, kissing her neck and praising her, encouraging her work. Taking a deep breath through her nose, she diverts her impulses to the couch. She takes a seat cross-legged and waits patiently for Casey to organize her evidence the way she wants it.

Casey sighs, and walks over, handing Alex a sheet of responses. Over dinner, Alex agreed to play the witness so that Casey can practice cross-examination. Alex reads over the facts while Casey paces the floor in front of the coffee table, thinking and murmuring questions to herself. Alex nods along as she reads and then sets the paper in her lap.

“You can start whenever you’re ready, Case,” she directs her, watching as her hands start to tremble.

Casey takes a deep breath and turns to Alex in a panic, “what do I do with my hands?”

Alex laughs, “I used to put mine behind my back unless I was making an expressive gesture.” Casey nods and continues pacing, putting her hands behind her back. “Casey…” Alex asks, hoping to get her attention. She does not turn her head and instead murmurs an unintelligible response. Alex tilts her head, watching Casey with concern, “You’re going to do fine. But we’ll never know for sure if you don’t start.”

Casey halts in her spot and turns on her heel, making eye contact with Alex. “You’re right…”

Alex never thought she’d hear those words. Casey tends to err on the side of defensiveness, rarely conceding to fault. “Just breathe…You know what questions you’re asking and you know what answers you need. You are in control. Okay?” Alex offers from her seat, trying to give Casey a reassuring smile. It’s been so long since she’s seen Casey this nervous. As of late, Casey has radiated confidence, especially when it came to her academics. Maybe tonight was not going to be her moment, Casey may need more reassurance than other emotions.

“Okay,” Casey takes a deep breath through her mouth and exhales it with pursed lips. “You’re ready?” Alex nods, smiling softly and sitting up straight, watching Casey closely. “Miss Cabot, is it true that you were shopping at the seventeenth street convenience store on the night of the incident?”

“Yes,” Alex answers cooly.

Casey nods and begins to pace, hands behind her back. “Is it true that in your statement to the police, you stated that you were not aware that the defendant was in the store?”

“Yes,” she responds, her eyes tracking Casey.

“How often do you visit the seventeenth street convenience store?”

“I couldn’t say an exact number,” Alex excuses.

“Use your best judgment on an estimate.”

“Three to four times a week,” Alex states, scanning Casey up and down.

“So would you say that you’re familiar with the layout of the convenience store?”

The questioning went on for some time, Alex’s pride growing with each step. Here and there, she would interrupt to adjust Casey’s body language or her choice of words with a question. But the further Casey went, the better she sounded. Alex wasn’t sure whether it was the right time to admit it, but she’s actually quite impressed with Casey’s skills. Her intuition with the witness’s responses and her knowledge of the evidence make it easy for her to improvise if an unexpected response comes along. When she does improvise, she does so eloquently, as though she had actually planned the question in advance. By the end, Casey manages to flip the defense witness in her favor, leaving them both breathless.

Content with her work, Casey walks over to the couch and collapses beside Alex, slinking onto the pillows. “Jesus Christ,” she exhales with a laugh, resting her forearms on top of her eyes and focusing on her breathing.

“How do you feel?” Alex asks, beaming, trying not to distract Casey from her own feelings.

She removes her arms and sits up, draping her legs over the edge of the couch and looking over at Alex, still sitting cross-legged. “Like I just spoke for two hours straight.”

Alex giggles, “it wasn’t that long, I promise.” She looks down at her watch, noticing Casey’s thigh flesh against her own. “Only thirty minutes, that’s pretty average. Maybe better for your first final.”

Casey looks down, setting her elbow on her knee and resting her head on her hand. “Well, that’s a relief,” she mumbles.

They share a moment of silence and Alex uncrosses her legs, dangling them over the edge of the couch as Casey has done. Their thighs are practically sandwiched next to each other, arms having nowhere to go but next to each other. Casey’s cologne, a light scent of amber and vanilla, makes its way into Alex’s nose. She examines Casey’s features longingly and her body takes control from there.

She raises her hand to Casey’s face, pushing strands of her hair behind her ear. “Casey…” Alex begins. Casey turns to look at Alex, her cheek burning where Alex’s fingertips brushed across. Her eyes promptly go to Alex’s lip and she bites her own before her eyes travel upward, meeting Alex’s sapphire.

“Hmm?” Casey says, her eyes captured in Alex’s grasp.

“You did so well,” she praises, her eyes flicking between Casey’s eyes and lips. “I’m really proud of you.” She subtly nods her head, her eyes returning to Casey’s and holding her gaze for a moment longer than they have lately. Her lips begin to burn. Palpitations pick up in Casey’s chest, blood rushing to her throat and lips as she loses time in Alex’s eyes.

“I love you,” Alex whispers, unable to control the words as they tumble out of her mouth and into Casey’s lap.

Casey’s eyes begin to stir, pupils widening and her gaze narrowing. It startles Alex from her dreamy state.

Alex closes her eyes and shakes her head, blood rushing to her cheeks and ears. “Oh, Casey…” a regretful smile plagues her face, baring her teeth, “I’m sorry. That was…” she takes a deep breath and sighs, “out of line.” Her eyes open to find the green ones across from her. She peers into the aventurine before her, searching for reassurance and sympathy.

A charming smile tugs at Casey’s cheeks and her hand reaches up to Alex’s cheek. She shakes her head softly. “Don’t be,” she whispers, her eyes landing on Alex’s red lips. Her hand cups Alex’s cheek for a moment, then slides back into her hair, gripping lightly. “I love you, Alex.” Her whispered confession echoes in Alex’s ears, scorching them. Casey pulls her in, their lips brushing against each other as waves and sand. Casey takes Alex’s bottom lip between her own, sucking lightly, running her tongue over the warm flesh. She takes Alex’s cheek in her other palm, pulling her closer. Alex’s leg moves on top of Casey’s. One hand goes to her hip, the other braces itself on the couch, steadying them. Their breaths pick up pace, sharing inhales and exhales as their lips pulse and release.

For a few seconds, their minds are silent, focused only on the sensations on their skin. Alex’s face burns beneath Casey’s palms, Casey’s hips spasm beneath Alex’s fingertips. Casey swirls her tongue over Alex’s lip, unable to get enough of the faint taste of sugar. Alex glides her hand further into the curve of Casey’s hip, hooking her thumb against her pelvis and gripping, pulling her closer. Casey allows a hand to abandon Alex’s cheek, pausing at her neck and stroking, then proceeding down her ribcage, hips, thigh, and finally hooking at her knee. With her fingers hooked under her knee, she pulls her further into her lap, deepening their kiss. Alex takes this as an opportunity to mingle their tongues, sucking Casey’s and nipping at her lip.

A moan leaks from Casey’s mouth and her mind wakes. Anxiety begins seeping its way into her veins, her heart racing and stomach flipping, not in the way she’d hoped. For the first time, her mind flashes vivid scenes of being expelled, of Alex getting fired, of never completing law school, and never becoming a prosecutor. Her heart aches as the visions play, but her mind is already gaining back control. She retracts her tongue, and begins to break the kiss as the remaining hand on Alex’s cheek slides down to her shoulder, pushing her gently.

“I’m sorry,” she whimpers, her eyes pleading as they catch Alex’s.

Breathless, Alex furrows her brow, “what’s wrong?”

Casey feels a lump form in her throat, examining Alex’s face longingly. She runs her tongue over her lip, parting them as she prepares to speak. “I can’t do this right now,” she whispers.

Alex takes her leg off of Casey’s and slowly removes her hands, “Did I do something wrong?”

Alex fights back tears and Casey closes her eyes, pushing air through her nose, “No,” she starts to say baby but refrains, “No, Alex. You haven’t done anything wrong.” Casey’s hands search for Alex’s, taking them and intertwining their digits. “I just…” she hesitates, her own tears making an appearance, pushing past her eyelids. “I can’t right now. I’m really sorry, Alex.”

Disbelief overruns Alex’s mind, leaving her paralyzed, eyes unable to look up at Casey. Panic sets in and Casey untangles herself, getting up and hastily gathering her things. She sniffles a couple of times, keeping her eyes down as she moves about the apartment. From afar, Toby sits atop the counter in a regal position, observing them, his tail swiping in agitation. Alex runs her hands over her face and stands, trying to approach Casey. She keeps her arms to herself, crossed against her chest as she tries to stand within Casey’s line of sight.

“Casey,” she attempts to get her attention, “can we talk about this?”

Casey shakes her head, offering no further response.

“Case,” Alex pleads. Casey begins to gather her belongings in her arm, having far less than she arrived with. “Casey, please,” Alex’s voice becomes strained, “I’m sorry. I just thought-”

“Thought what, Alex?” She whips around just as her hand grips the doorknob.

“I-I thought you felt the same,” Alex stammers out, stepping closer and extending her hand to caress Casey’s elbow.

Casey closes her eyes again, the lump in her throat growing. A tear streaks down her cheek. “I do, Alex…”

Alex tries fervently to meet her gaze as she tries to avoid it. Alex takes a deep, defeated breath, her stomach aching as her eyes soften. “Then, what’s wrong?”

Casey scoffs, a dejected look smeared across her face. She tries to swallow, the sensation painful, practically choking. “Just not now…” her voice is strangled, each word pointed as she utters them. She turns away from Alex, opening the door and disappearing down the hallway.

The door falls shut behind her and Alex’s face slips, eyes empty and sunken. The remaining air in her lungs sinks like a weighted balloon. In all of her concern about her own timeline and feelings, she hadn’t considered how close their clock was on its last second.

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