#cabbage randomness

[thegreatcabbagewizard]

Oh yeah btw

I got into the advanced choir i auditioned for

Uh @fithesworddweller here is my audition song

I got a bit bright at the end, i was trying to sing quieter and ended up being a bit off

My voice is really high pitched compared to many people i know. I am a soprano one for good reason :)

[lemonsrosesandlavender]

Stretched Pt 2//Rolan x Cleric PWP

(If you haven't read it already, Part 1 is here!)

ft anal fingering, BG3 medical kink and mild dubcon. 1373 words.

The leaves tingle against the cleric’s fingers as she chops them; Lantan-herb, ground up with kraken oil and raik scales to stimulate healing. Tightening.

Rolan has already seated himself, and though his trousers are not re-fastened he has pulled them back up, robes re-arranged to hide the cock twitching beneath them. ‘Back on all fours please,’ she tells him, and waits until he is facing away from her to smile a little in amusement. Such a proper man. Demure, even, though he’d no doubt protest that word. Someone of his stature in the world probably attributes his fear of pleasure and nudity to be mere reserve; good manners; a wish not to be distracted by such base concerns and vulgar pleasures. And yet, all the while he yearns for them, and is too afraid to enjoy what could be freely given. It makes her want to stroke the pert, tense cheeks before her, and kiss the underside of his obediently raised tail— but she confines herself to a slow, tender circling of the pleasure within him, applying the salve to first his walls and then the ring of his entrance. Her strokes take slight liberties, but they stay the professional side of lingering, despite Rolan’s whimpers. When she’s finished, she cleans him up gently again, and tells him he may once more dress. ‘I have prepared enough of this for four weeks. Apply it every day. Inside yourself, too, for the first week, but no more than a finger, and after the first week only your entrance.’ Rolan flushes, and then catches his breath. ‘Ah.’

The cleric raises her eyebrows. ‘You’ll probably feel the effects of the salve for an hour or so after application. Clenching will probably make it more noticeable.’ Another caught breath, another whimper. She allows herself a slight smirk, before she buries her head in her appointment-book. ‘I will see you again in two weeks, to monitor your progress. And remember. No more stretching yourself.’ ‘Of course,’ he snaps, strangled. ‘What kind of fool do you take me for? I am not humiliating myself like this just to undo my own efforts.’ Only years of professionally-honed tact stops her from outright laughing; but she is certainly smiling inside far more wickedly than the polite curve that paints her assured lips. ‘Hmmm. In that case, I look forward to seeing your progress.’

She’s seen a case or two like this before; far less appealing patients in both cases. And if there is one thing she has learnt about it so far, it is that those who nurture this vice find it very hard to give up. They seek something that only being filled to the brim can give them; a sense of being whole perhaps. Of being owned. Which is all to say that when Rolan arrives for his second appointment, jaw set and tail once more lashing, she knows exactly what has happened. She gives him a few moments to acclimate, of course. ‘How are you?’ ‘Have you been applying the salve as I instructed?’ ‘Have you noticed any adverse effects?’ Fine, yes, no— ‘What about the tingling?’ ‘Hardly pleasant, but I am capable of ignoring it.’ ‘Ah,’ she says. ‘In that case, since you’ve been following my instructions so closely, we might find some improvement already.’ Rolan swallows. ‘You… want to examine me again?’

‘Yes. If you could remove your trousers and assume the position—' Last time, he merely pulled his trousers low on his thighs, but now he follows her instruction to the letter, boots and socks cast aside. Compensating, perhaps, for having not followed other instructions. She muses to herself as she slicks her fingers for the examination, debating whether she prefers him half-naked like this, or in last appointment’s state of rushed, ashamed undress. She decides she’d most like to see him with his trousers around his ankles. Humiliatingly exposed, and ready for the taking. Not that it matters at present.

‘Are you ready?’ she asks him briskly. ‘Yes— no— ’ ‘No?’ Her fingers brush his entrance, and then stop. She can clearly see he’s gaping a little, and her clit throbs at it, but she pretends not to have seen. ‘Is there something the matter? I need to do an examination to see if the treatment is working—’ Rolan’s toes curl beside her. One advantage of being half-naked, she adds to her mental accounting. If he belonged to her, perhaps she would alternate how he was dressed each time she bent him over to train him. ‘Rolan,’ she says firmly, when he still doesn’t answer her question. ‘I...’ ‘Yes?’ ‘I used— one of my toys—’ he chokes out. ‘I cannot explain myself— I—’ He grips the bench tightly. ‘It would be a waste of time to examine me. I failed. I will start again— ’ ‘Enough!’ she interrupts. Her voices drops lower, but it is still stern. ‘I will inspect the damage myself. You understand that my treatments are magical; following them incorrectly can have worse effects than simply doing nothing at all.’ ‘You do not have to teach me about magic,’ Rolan says bitterly, evidently reproaching himself far more than he is her. She feels a little sorry for him. When will needy little whores like him accept that this is who they are? That they would be much happier if they allowed someone else to take away all this shame— to take care of them? ‘I doubt any lasting harm has been done,’ she murmurs. ‘But I need to take a look. I’ll be very gentle. Breathe for me.’

Rolan’s hole yields easily; she strokes encouragingly beneath his tail as she presses in. The tip of his tail arcs down, wrapping briefly around her shoulder until he realises what he’s done, and withdraws. Not at ease with intimacy, she notes to herself. She half-wants to put it back herself, but if her patient does not want it then she will not venture something so unnecessary for treatment. She is only exploring with one finger today; applied to the right spot, it is enough. His cock thickens, heating with lust, and she continues her explorations until it leaks, the pearl gathering on the tip and then rolling slowly down his shaft. ‘All in working order,’ she summarises, and Rolan’s toes curl tight again. ‘Besides being a little more stretched than you should be at this stage, no harm seems to have been done.’ ‘Hmm.’ The cleric slips her fingers out, and his thighs twitch, tense with nervous energy. ‘I’ll clean you up, and then you can dress.’ ‘No need,’ Rolan says hurriedly, and casts Prestidigitation, snatching up his trousers with alacrity. ‘So… I will merely need to use the salve for longer? I suppose I will need to pay you for more— ’ ‘Not so fast.’ She gestures him back to the bed, seeing his eagerness to leave. ‘Let me wash my hands first. We have to discuss— ’ ‘There is nothing else left to discuss,’ Rolan says tightly. ‘There is, if you want your problem to be cured.’ ‘I won’t make the same mistake again.’ ‘Easier if you know why that mistake happened in the first place.’ Rolan’s eyes flash; for a moment, she thinks he will be a hopeless case, and has half a mind to sell him another jar and tell him not to come back. But then, suddenly, the storm threatening in his scowl abates, and he averts his gaze. ‘I… cannot finish without it.’ ‘Without something inside you?’ ‘Yes,’ he whispers, looking miserable. ‘I was trying to resist entirely— but once I had begun I couldn’t stop myself wanting relief, and... my resolve broke. Wretched Hells—how has this happened to me? I swear, I was not always like this!’ What is like this, the cleric wants to ask; like a man who needs touch, release, affection? Who needs to imagine a lover where he denies himself one? But those are not problems she is paid to solve, and she needs to think a little longer on them. ‘Come back tomorrow,’ she says. ‘I will have something for you.’ Fortunately, she has observed his cock at enough length to be sure of the purchase she is going to make before then.

[pratchettquotes]

"You are smirking at me, Moist!"

No, I've frozen because I've just heard what my mouth said, Moist thought. I don't have a clue, I've just got some random thoughts. It's...

"It's about desert islands," he said. "And why this city isn't one."

"And that's it?"

Moist rubbed his forehead. "Miss Cripslock, Miss Cripslock...this morning I got up with nothing in mind but to seriously make headway with the paperwork and maybe lick the problem of that special 25p Cabbage Green stamp. You know, the one that'll grow into a cabbage if you plant it? How can you expect me to come up with a new fiscal initiative by teatime?"

"All right, but--"

"It'll take me at least until breakfast."

Terry Pratchett, Making Money

[my-cabbages-gorl]

lil sneak peek of a zukaang comic for @zukaangserver-nsfw's mini nsfw event this weekend 🙈 🌀 🔥

stay tuned!

[ifitwasediblewouldyoueatit]

[rose-bunny-28]

Since we did girls...... Nowww

There are wayyyy to many males in this show I can't add them all. Sorry!

[thegreatcabbagewizard]

Ikr!!

I can’t figure out how i’m supposed to edit my posts. And why is the little bubble with the number of notes so small T-T

I was hoping the tumblr ui was an April fools joke but idk anymore 😭

[thegreatcabbagewizard]

Doin the thing with the thing(Witch Hat Atelier cover ch85)

This was also done by @mizaruwu @nell0-0 @zarvasace @lele5429 @theegh0st and finally @feed-your-dragons(it doesn’t let me tag you) who also did Wind but I was halfway through rendering when they posted so I got permission to post mine :)

Pls click on the picture, i need to stop posting directly from my iPad it ruins the photo quality.

I cannot with drawing water. The water just doesn’t water :( I also was too lazy to draw Aryll so you’re getting a transparent picture from google

Take Lineart

Its a bit janky but its okay

ALSO

The eyes in the third layer are amongus >:3

Get amongussed

[theeldergoals]

Ivarstead - The Rift

[dovesick]

no peace here

[thegreatcabbagewizard]

Thats so real

*takes in a deep inhale*

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

So anyway art has been going good this morning

[murderousink23]

02/17/2025 is National Cabbage Day 🇺🇸, National Random Acts of Kindness Day 🇺🇸, National PTA Founders Day 🇺🇸, Washington's Birthday 🇺🇸

[imposterlettuce]

i was just watching pearls stream and started talking about no voice mod and someone said silent life which made me remember this post from martyn a while ago

what i have started thinking about is what if the next life series is just silent. literally just silent. maybe even like a silent movie with captions? i dont know where im going with this tbh but it made sense in my head the first time i thought about it

this would probably play out horribly but like it would be interesting to see go down

[leonightwater25]

Exam is near and my assigment is not done a slightest sheet. Im soo cooked :")

[thegreatcabbagewizard]

I joined a month before you, you deserve it :D

Hi hi hi!!! You're supppperrrrrr cool! Like really cool! So, bc you're so cool yap to me about ANYTHING! Like anything! :D

Bsisiododododo thank you so so much 🥹🥹🥹 i can't believe ppl think im so cool ughh what made you think that way im not that cool at all 😭😭😭 (do I even know the definition of the word cool anymore??)

Wait, maybe I don't... Well, i just did a research on the word cool :D

Okay like 2929939393 amount of people called me cool on the internet (big part of that being this one friend lol) in genuinely starting to wonder what the heck do y'all exactly mean lol

So i did some research bcuz i was antisocial for a couple of years and definitely got out of the loop with things lmao

Okay like snsoskksksk this is what the word means??? Whaaaat? Nsksksksis especially the picture on the right jsksosososoo

"Acceptance and liked by others" DUDE I JOINED TUMBLR ON JANUARY WHAT THE F DO YOU MEAN ACCEPTANCE 😭😭😭😭 WHAY HAVE I DONE TO RECEIVE SUCH PRAISE UGHHHHHH

Y'ALL ARE SO KIND AND NICE TT-TT WKSOSKDODODO

[ismyteadoneyet]

having a non-existant perception of how big of a part I play in my friends' lives keeps catching me off guard because I often think of myself as the Cabbage Man in comparison to other friends of theirs, and yet, every time I think I'll just be cheering them on in battle from the sidelines, I get handed a matching sword and told to strike the other heel