#c0nstants

[innatetransmission]

ABOUT ME

＜ hell0, every0ne! my name 1s z0n1f1 r0mf0t! ＞

＜ 1 am aware that 1 am us1ng a mult1d1mens10nal platf0rm full 0f k1nd, fr1endly faces and shar1ng 0f un1versal spec1f1cs and c0nstants. ＞

＜ 1 am s0 exc1ted t0 learn m0re ab0ut my 0wn w0rld and the many w0rlds bey0nd 1t, and meet s0 many new pe0ple! ＞

＜ 1f 1t 1sn't already clear, 1 am a tr0ll and 1 am res1d1ng 0n altern1a. 1 have p0sted an 1mage 0f 1t 0nt0 my pr0f1le banner! 1sn't 1t g0rge0us? ＞

＜ 1 am als0 a f0rtune teller and nature's #1 fan, s0 t0 speak. y0u are welc0me t0 1nteract w1th my p0sts 0r send me an ask 0r chat message anyt1me! 1 m1ght n0t be able t0 g1ve y0u all the answers f0r y0ur 1nqu1r1es n0 matter what my crystal ball sh0ws me, but 1'm m0re than w1ll1ng t0 hear them 0ut! ^v^ ＞

＜ h0wever, 1 d0 want t0 ma1nta1n my bl0g as a zen z0ne, s0 unpleasant remarks w1ll n0t be apprec1ated. 1f there 1s ever a rebl0g 0r p0st 0f m1ne ass0c1ated w1th 0ffens1ve c0ntent, please let me kn0w and 1 w1ll rem0ve 1t fr0m my bl0g! ＞

＜ 1f y0u are l00k1ng f0r 0ther ways t0 c0ntact me, y0u can f1nd me as [innateTransmission on Trollian], but be sure t0 n0t1fy me 0n here f1rst s0 that 1 can make sure 1 catch y0ur message! thank y0u!! ＞

[herl0yalmaid]

would you ever attempt to bring someone back from the dead?

0h, in a heartbeat. Sadly that is far 0ut 0f my realm, as my aspects are Time with a sprinkling 0f Space these days. 0_0

I'm n0t sure I c0uld ever in g00d c0nscience bring s0me0ne back as like, a "Frankenstein's m0nster" s0rt 0f thing either. There are just s0me j0ys in life that sh0uld be c0nstant. Like eating, drinking, and subsequently digesting th0se things. I d0n't think the living dead can d0 that?

But yes. Many skelet0ns in my cl0set, many gh0sts I keep in my heart. There are m0re pe0ple than I can c0unt that I w0uld bring back.

[schizochasm]

Guess who went straight from work to the store to get 2 6 packs?

Yeah...

I got worse.

(cut cause god damn. Even while trying to keep it short, this got kinda long...)

And now I'm doing better. Kinda. I feel like myself again. Even if I'm still gripped by the feelings of everything that's happened to us. I'm me again. And I think I can cope if I force my vibe to be more positive and not think about it.

To explain my fractured view of myself would take too long . It's a whole damn book. It's (probably) a schizophrenia thing. Not A DID thing.

But I wasn't me after that really bad repetitive trigger at work. I was her. The one who endures Most of what He and them do to us.

I retain the feelings somewhat and none of us ever forget what we are and what He is to us.

But I don't have to feel it all the time. I get some distance from it. Thanks to her. (All 3 of the rest of us do.)

I'm home again and drunk on beer.

I don't even care about the kcals.

I needed a break. We needed a break.

She's not been in public for a year. (I think.) And I don't remember much.

But she knew I'd want beer to calm down and hopefully vibe and half-forget about everything. She delivered.

She doesn't drink.

She's 14 ffs.

But she knew that once I came to, and it was getting better, I'd need it.

The last week or so, I suck at keeping track of time, it's been really bad. Triggered baldy every day at least once. And I guess I just couldn't face another trigger, or him being so present.

So she had to take it for me.

It's been so long since she took it for me in public. She hasn't been in public for so long. And she's very self conscious. I'm not anymore, just a bit. I know it scares people if I get too psychotic, and I don't wanna scare people. But she is Very anxious about seeming upset or appearing insane.

I feel bad for her. I hurt for her. She's been through hell. Repeatedly. And she barely ever gets to exist outside of that. (By DID terms, she barely ever fronts outside or it. Outside of taking that pain for us.) And she hurts for me.

She wants me to be happy and forget about it all. But I can't. None of us can ever fully forget.

Rule #1: never forget! (I won't include the full quote cause trigger )

But I live a semi normal life thanks to her.

Even if most people would look at my life and think I'm a failure and a mess. I have a life. And it's all thanks to this fractured identity.

She's been through so much for me...

And she knows how thankful I am that she takes a Lot of it for me. And for us.

She wants me to have a life outside of him and them. Sadly I can't fully. I'm still dealing with a Lot. Ive been through a lit of it too. (More than most will ever even think of as reasonable or survivable. Even though she does most of it.) But thanks to her I can live somewhat of a life even though he's here. Even with everything they put us through.

Anyway...

Sorry for the rant.

I'm drunk and needed Somewhere to pour it out and put it into words.

I hope I'll be okay.

I'll try my best to go from this to good vibes and rest my mind.

Thank you for reading all of this.

If you did, I love you.

Thank you.

And you're a real G.

You clearly care about me.

Thank you for caring.

And I'll try not to go completely schizo on here.

Stay safe. I love you all that read this mess.

Thank you for lending an ear to your friendly neighbourhood schizophrenic.

Peace.

(C0nstant v0mit, if anyone reads this, it would be you. And know that you're my fave mutual. I love your bitch ass. Don't you Dare get termed. You mean a Lot to me. And I care about you. You better stick around, you beautiful disaster. (Figured it'd be safe to put this here since it's a cut and a long post.))

[thedarksidesoffice]

yeah, you're right. rex was ACTUALLY tortured. you were given head pets and had to wear a collar, that must've been so hard for you :(

She seemed to chuckle dimly, A very somber yet,,, somehow sinister sounding sigh escaping her throat. "I b3lieve y0u forg0t the p4rt where I was starved s0 l0ng that m7 b0dy was in 4 c0nstant state of decomposit1on, But I supp0se y0u love R3x far to0 much to ev3n g1ve a sh1t ab0ut that."

she leans her head against her hand, eyes narrowing just slightly. "!'m just kidding. I kn0w n0ne of y0u care about an7thing. You lot ar3 just b0red, upset that n0-one has truly suffered in a while... You're em0tion4l paras1tes just simply tr7ing to m1lk anyone of their horrors to g3t a taste. Y0u're 0nly tr7ing to get at me b3cause y0u sensed, smelled, tasted, a small gl1mpse of vunerab1lity from me. Y0u would do it t0 anyone. That's wh7 y0u're even try1ng to thre4ten my baby. Y0u're w0rse than i've ev3r been to 4nyone here, and that's impressive. So. Congratulations."

[threemouthedcanine]

Destiny and fate and patterns repeating endlessly conversati0ns that will never st0p happening gripes that are shallow petty b0ring vapid c0nstant new permutati0ns 0f old ancient big0try enmeshed in the fabric 0f s0ciety (destiny. Fate. Patterns repeating endlessly. C0nversations keep 0n(keeping 0n keeping 0n keeping 0n))

[contaiinedarmageddon2]

Yes but we're talking horrific mutations, not the cool kind.

i'm n0t sure which part of c0nstant splitting migraines that make me bleed from my eyes0ckets or hearing the v0ices of the imminently damned screaming in my ears was the c0ol part but i never found them very enj0yable.

[sweetcandyholic]

marinette’s birthday was on the 26th!

[parziivale]

@the-silver-firefly and @fallingfish did a mean and hurt my heart in RPs so I hurt them by drawing Falling’s Jeanne after death being greeted by my dead NPC Lidon who loves them very much.

[tea-fae]

oc moodboard: W4 Raina Castro

I am coming, for all the monsters that ever touched me  I am coming, for all those who twisted my stars into shadows They turned me into a nightmare So I’m going to be theirs (x)

[c0ffee-mag3]

Question: Am I the Wolf or the Savior?

Answer: Come a little closer. (x)

Moodboard for W4 Ev/an

[just-some-moodboards]

biromantic asexual infp for @c0nstant-0verthinker 💕

[574rc45m]

H0NESTLY 1 K1ND 0F APPREC1ATE THE C0SM0L0G1CAL C0NSTANT 0F TUNGLE UPDAT1NG AND FUCK1NG 1TSELF UP

THE M0RE TH1NGS CHANGE THE M0RE THEY STAY THE SAME

[syntheticpoetry]

AVPM Watch Party!

WelCOOOOOOOooooOOOooooooOOOOOOme all of you to Hogwarts!

The time has come to go back to where we began! AVPM starts at 13:00 EST but I’m sharing the link now so come join me while I troubleshoot xD Click the link below to join!

https://twoseven.xyz/1ecwg_v4is

@roxymusicandlayers @totallyawesomeharry @my-superwholockianships @stupidqueerbitch @justgleekout @keepingthepeaceinouterspace​ @koivuonpuu @devonnails @citylights31 @forthehopeofitall @vnessa3 @shippyfromapocalypsis @aspirationatwork​ @sparksfall  @crypticchikwholuvspizza @justasmalltownpig  @marvelsmerc @finnmcnamhaira  @blurglesmurfklaine @josephinealicedeservedbetter  @barrylovescaitlin  @blaineandersontho @sassynosubete @esperantoauthor @klainedrops-on-roses  @somefeministtheatrepls @marriedtofictionsblog @klainetrashnumberone @klaine4everz  @trashmartianx @porcelain-nightbird @missflurry @blog-carmex @wowbright @kuhlaine @ggoodbye-lullabyy @netflixandshit18 @wantjes19 @schuyler-gleekster @usurix @hotdamnitslauradreyfusss @mytrashunicorn @banana2504 @commander-spooooock @cheesuswarbler @schaefferisqueen @oh-hot-garbage @t4docroe @c0nstant-0verthinker @crypticchikwholuvspizza @justasmalltownpig @marvelsmerc  @barrylovescaitlin @somefeministtheatrepls  @borntwomakehistory @justgleekout

[peggysousfan]

Thanks @movrings!!

Tag 8 People You’d Like To Get To Know Better!

Favorite Colours: Black and Maroon,

Last Song I Listened To: Kindly Calm Me Down by Megan Trainor

Favorite Musicians: Kelly Clarkson, Imagine Dragons, Fall Out Boys, Linkin Park, RIVALS, and a lot more lol

Last Movie I Watched: Race to Witch Mountain (I don’t really watch movies that much *^*)

Favourite Character: Oof uh.... Peggy Carter, Tony Stark, Daniel Sousa, Clarke Griffin, Bellamy Blake, Octavia Blake, Audrey Parker, Nathan  Wuoronos, Phryne Fisher, Jack Robinson, And so many more it’s ridiculous lol

Last TV Show: The 100

Sweet, Spicy, or Savory: Sweet😋

Sparkling Water, Tea, or Coffee: Water 

Pets: I have a dog, 2 cats, and 2 sugar gliders that I call my own. The other animals I do not claim lol (maybe 1 duck but that’s it) those other farm animals belong to my mother lmao

Tagging: @c0nstant-0verthinker, @musiclmaiden, @fandomsandxfiles, @truth-renowned, @agentdanielsousa, and anyone else feel free to do this :)

[gr0veyard]

Baby’s Breath, Black-Eyed Susan, Canterbury Bells, Carnation, Hollyhock, Tropical White Morning Glory, Yarrow

Baby’s Breath: Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

yes

Black-Eyed Susan: If you could be any animal for a day, what would it be?

black mamba 0r a cat (any cat)

Canterbury Bells: Do you have any piercings?  

haha have y0u seen me 0f c0urse i d0

Carnation: What are you currently wearing?

l0ngshirt and panties

Hollyhock: Describe your ideal day.

there isnt an ideal day f0r me because my thinkpan demands c0nstant changes in r0utine and new disc0veries 0r 0therwise ill c0mbust ive been t0ld its called adhd but im n0t sure

Tropical White Morning Glory: Describe your aesthetic.  

b0nes, dirt, ruins, adventure, g0th, l0ve and affecti0n

Yarrow: Do you know what vore is?

unf0rtunately yes and i really seri0usly wish i didnt

[sweetcandyholic]

HEY GUESS WHO FINISHED A SKETCHBOOK

DEC 2016 - SEPT 2017