#c) therapy is fucking expensive

[haowenyang]

will i be shot for self diagnosing ocd

[samaraxmorgan]

Your Roommate Sukuna

“That Time His Older Brother Gave Him A Tarot Reading”

Modern no curse AU, Sukuna X Reader

Synopsis: This housing crisis sure is no joke huh? Rent is just too expensive to live alone, so you put out a listing for a roommate and ended up living with none other than the tattooed bad boy Ryomen Sukuna! This is part of a series of drabbles and oneshots showing glimpses into you and Sukuna’s living situation!!

Contains: brothers au, pure fluff, reader is not present, Sukuna is pining hard

Word Count: 1.26k

Series Masterlist - My Full Masterlist

Sukuna isn’t one to make time for his family. Although he has an identical twin brother who bothers him far too much for his liking and an older half brother, he almost never talks about them and spends even less time talking too them. But today he was feeling nice… which is strange for him, but regardless, he decided to agree to come by his brothers’ apartment.

And was quickly reminded of why he never comes over.

Sukuna was seated on the antique couch while Choso kneeled in front of the coffee table between them, flickering candles on every surface bathing the living room in a soft warm glow and reflecting on the shiny surfaces of the crystals placed meticulously all over the table. Choso opened up a small black box, pulling intricately designed tarot cards from inside and fanning them between his fingers before spreading them face down across the table.

Sukuna really was trying not to roll his eyes at the whole ordeal, but the man can only take so much before he’s bound to cave, “This is so stupid.”

“Shh…” Choso leans forward and presses his finger over Sukuna’s lips.

“Don’t touch me.” He grumbles.

“Shut up,” Choso loses his calm demeanor for only a second before he’s closing his eyes again, “I’m focusing.”

“On what?”

“I’m tuning in…” He wiggles his fingers over the cards, “to the energies.”

“Jesus fucking christ.” Sukuna rubs his temples, “When did you start doing this witchcraft shit again?”

“Not witchcraft,” Choso peeks one eye open to shoot a quick glare at his brother, “And yesterday.”

“Oh you’re a real professional huh?” He smirks down at him.

“Sukuna,” His shoulders slump and he lets out a frustrated huff, “Just, fucking shut up.”

The two of them squint as the lights suddenly flick on, Yuuji not quite getting the memo of what’s going on downstairs as he leans his head over the stair railing to peek into the living room, “Ooh, how’s the satanic ritual going?” He calls out from the stairway.

“Yuuji!” The two of them call out in unison. He lets out a little “Oops” and flicks the light back off, running back to his room upstairs.

Choso rubs his eyes, smudging his eyeliner onto his fingers, “Okay just, pick a card.”

Sukuna huffs out an annoyed breath, reaching forward and tapping his pointer finger on one of the cards in the middle. Choso slides the card down in front of Sukuna and flips it over, revealing an upside down picture of a man sitting upright in a bed with his head in his hands and swords neatly stacked on the wall behind him.

“Oh, interesting.” Choso mumbles.

“The fuck is he crying about?” Sukuna leans down and squints at the card on the table, “It’s upside down.”

“It’s reversed,” Choso clarifies, “The nine of swords reversed.”

“Choso, I don’t know what the hell that means.”

The long haired man sits up a little straighter, pointing at the card with a manicured finger, “This first card is your past. The next will be the present, and the last will be your future.” He picks the card up and scans it carefully, “You were… struggling, alone, not one to talk to others even when you need to-“

“What is this fuckin’ therapy?”

Choso groans and rolls his eyes, “God knows you need it, but no. Anyway,” He clears his throat, “You were in a downward spiral, but this is past tense, clearly you’re more open now considering,” He gestures vaguely around the room, “Well, you’re here for once.”

Sukuna is visibly annoyed, not a fan of being picked and prodded at. Choso places the card back down on the table, gesturing for Sukuna to pick another one, which to Choso’s surprise and for Sukuna’s morbid curiosity, he does; tapping his finger on a card pushed to the side of the table.

Choso flips the card over, and once again, it's upside down. It pictures a man sitting cross crossed in front of a tree, three golden goblets on the grass in front of him and a fourth being given to him from a disembodied hand floating next to him.

He’s really fuckin’ bad at organizing his cards.

Choso’s gaze flickers between Sukuna and the card, his brows furrowed in thought so clearly that you could almost see cogs turning behind his eyes, “Four of cups… reversed.”

“The hell does reversed mean?”

“It’s usually a negative version of the card’s meaning.”

Sukuna scoffs, “Oh fuckin’ lovely.”

Choso props his elbow onto the table, tracing the outline of the card with his finger, “You’re withdrawing-“

“Well yeah. No shit,” Sukuna cuts him off, “You’re telling me I’m cursed. What’s the damn card mean?”

“That is what the card means, idiot. You’re reluctant to open up to someone.”

Sukuna leans back against the couch, crossing his arms over his chest, “Who?”

“I don’t know,” Choso shrugs, “Maybe the future card will clarify.”

“Absolutely not.” He huffs. Choso looks up at him with confusion, “I told you this was stupid, I’m not picking another.”

The light flicks on once again, Sukuna groans at the sound of Yuuji’s voice yelling from the stairway, “Sounds like someone’s a fucking pussy!”

“Yuuji, quit eavesdropping or I’ll gouge your fucking eyes out.”

The light flicks back off.

Choso looks up at Sukuna expectantly, and after glaring down at him for a moment he breaks, rolling his eyes and flipping over a random card, “If it’s upside down I swear to fucking god-“

“Oh shit!”

“What?” Sukuna sounds almost startled, looking down at the card he sees that this one is upright; picturing a naked man and woman standing in front of some kind of angel. But he’s quickly able to gather the most damning part of the card.

The bottom of the card says “The Lovers.”

“Oh fuck off.”

A smile spreads across Choso’s face, “I don’t think I need to explain this one to you. And it’s not upside down.”

“Reversed.” Sukuna mockingly clarifies.

“Shut up,” Choso leans forward, grin still plastered on his lips, “Who is it?”

“It’s nobody, this shit isn’t real.” Sukuna scowls, but deep down he’s glad the room is so dark to hide the tint in his cheeks.

It’s not fucking real idiot. Stop it.

“How about this,” Choso clasps his hands together, looking up towards the ceiling, “If this shit is real, give us a sign.”

Yuuji flickers the lights.

“No! Stop interfering, this is serious!” Choso yells out towards the stairway.

But Sukuna’s blood runs cold as his phone buzzes in his pocket, quiet enough that no one could hear, but he could feel it.

It’s not real.

The room is silent for a moment as Choso scans for any type of sign, but it’s as if the world had completely stopped turning, not even the candles were flickering. Choso plops his head onto the coffee table, mumbling under his breath, “I don’t know why I thought that would work.”

“Mhm.” Sukuna hums, putting up a disinterested front as he pulls his phone from his pocket, “Can we watch a movie or something now like a normal family?”

Choso defeatedly blows out the candles, collecting his crystals and placing his tarot cards neatly back into the box, “Fine, fine, but I still think it’s real.”

Sukuna’s heart nearly stops beating when he unlocks his phone and sees a text from you, “If u leave dirty dishes in the sink one more time I’m actually gonna kill u in your sleep.”

God I hope it’s fucking real.

A/N: Family bonding time has never been so awkward, anyway here’s that time Sukuna started to believe in magic, or witchcraft, or anything if it means you like him as much as he likes you. Dividers by @adornedwithlight

Let me know if you want to be added to the taglist!!

[write-it-motherfuckers]

Person A: “Is...is that (Person B)?”

Person C: “God, I fucking hope not, my therapy appointments are already expensive enough as it is. I really don’t need any more reasons to book additional sessions.”

Person A: “...Pretend we didn’t see anything?”

Person C: “Pretend we didn’t see anything.”

[inadeqcies]

❝ —— MY  FATHER  SAYS  SHE  WAS  BORN  LUCKY  .  HE  SAYS  I  WAS  LUCKY  TO  BE  BORN "

WCS | MUSINGS | CLICK BELOW FOR INTRO

. ･ﾟ   ┇    (  taylor zakhar perez  .  cis male  .  he/him  )  .    ⸻ ricardo garcia  ,  twenty-seven years old  ,  has  survived  another  day  in  red  creek  where  they  have  lived  for 6 months . the  regal is  known  for  being  hubristic  and steely and  is  often  associated  with routinely clenching and unclenching jaws, slow smirks that feel like a deal with the devil, clean pressed perfectly tailored shirts matched with expensive cologne  .  in  a  small  town  where  they  work  as  the owner of the register word  travels  fast 

HELLOOO ! i’m g ! i’m 27 , living in the cursed aedt tz . . i use she / her pronouns . i am a proud indian , and lover of all poc ! i’m also doing the dolly parton working 9 to 5 , what a way to make a living ! so my activity will be v random as i also got a new job and i think the hours will be wild !

inspo for ricardo is jackson whittemore ( teen wolf ) , guzman ( elite ),  every character from succession , harry bingham ( the society ) maybe a little logan echolls ( veronica mars ) and a little bit nate jacobs ( euphoria ) 

he puts the ASS in ASSHOLE ( and clASSy , but i prefer asshole )

heterosexual cis male . . . that says it all :/

a demon boy

honestly ricardo is an arrogant and smug piece of shit , who has probably offended you or said something greatly insulting to you at some point in your life ( im so sorry and i will continue apologising for him but he really is so irredeemable ) 

uses people so he can get ahead / get what he wants

is only focused on himself and an outcome that suits him

will use you

will treat you like shit

will smirk annoyingly as he does it all

cruel

has major anger issues

has major issues in general tbh

honestly just really hates himself and has so much self hate and pent up anger . he probably should go to therapy

‘ i feel like i’m the worst , so i always act like i’m the best ‘

he was given up for adoption at a young age , and thats basically the main source of all of his rage and anger and ability to think he is not worth anything ( self fulfilling prophecy tbh )

he bounced around for a while , foster home to foster home . he got into a lot of fights , with other kids , and with foster parents . he was not an easy kid , nor did he try to be . if anything - he always did the opposite

lowkey definitely has commitment issues and doesn’t like the idea of needing anybody except for himself , hence why he will always be snarky and a lil ass

he finally got adopted properly when he was about 15 years old - by two women who are smart , intelligent , quick witted and very wealthy

he was not close to them , despite their best efforts , but he does greatly respect them and their ‘’’ Hustle ‘’’’

he's come to redcreek for . . . reasons that may be explained later hehe . he's been here for 6 months and he fucking hates it ! he hates u people ! he hates this shitty town !

he definitiely paid his way into owning the register like by no means should this be his job . he's so Succession coded .

i am soooo open to connections and plots ! sorry this isn’t v well developed but i usually work best off chemistry and just kinda running with whatever ? i'm online really sporadically so pls forgive that . . . also pls forgive me for bringing such a c-bomb of a character in LMAO .

[alirhi]

life rant. feel free to skip

I know this will be a big ol' pot of "well, duh" to anyone who's been dealing with disability in the US longer than I have, but I just need to get this shit out of my head...

Sometimes, it's not ONE THING that's kicking your ass. The government wants you to point to ONE diagnosis, with lots and lots of documentation from doctors clearly spelling out that you are Disabled Because of This One Thing, but that's not always how shit works, and the rigid flat-out refusal to introduce any kind of nuance into their system makes me want to burn it to the fucking ground.

And then there's the hoops we have to jump through just to GET a diagnosis, and even then no one will actually fucking SAY that this condition, that they diagnosed you with, that is recognized as a disability by the ADA, actually disables you.

I have multiple things wrong with me. Multi system failure, if you will. One system was buggy at best from the start, but everything else was working okay and managed to compensate. Then the other systems started glitching one by one, and now everything is shit. I would LOVE to be at work, even one of the shitty, soul-crushing dead-end jobs I've been complaining about since I was 16. I'm back in the town I know like the back of my hand that I used to walk for hours and hours just because. I'm lucky to make it out my front door now.

I'm autistic. I need a routine in order to function. I can't have a routine anymore because I never know from one day to the next if I'll even have the energy to get out of bed that day or not. I'm diabetic, which means I need to eat a certain way (and on a schedule because I need to take my meds with food) that I can't afford to maintain because food is expensive, healthy food is way more expensive, and I haven't been able to work in over a year. I have fibromyalgia, and the doctor who diagnosed it and just increased my med dose for it refuses to say whether or not he thinks it's a disability. Depression, anxiety, OCD, c-PTSD... multi system failure. all needing different things to deal with them, all working against each other and kicking my ass in the process. I'm in therapy, I'm on meds, I'm doing what can be done but I am still disabled. But since no one will acknowledge this, I'm a burden on everyone around me with no way to contribute that doesn't make everything I'm dealing with even worse.

[penumbrialhexandroga]

I put this in a discord chat im in but i wanted to put it here too. Today i got diagnosed by my therapist with c-ptsd.

Hhhh today is a day of surthriving. Had therapy this morning and was rough, but i was able to communicate some of my frustrations well. Got some clarification on stuff. Like he said forget about any of the schizophrenia stuff, i dont have it, so thats a relief. He said for a clinical dx i do have CPTSD. And that my episode that id had before when i started seeing him was a dissocaitive episode. So it was nice to get clarification on that i was thinking it was like a psychotic or manic or something but dissociative makes sense with what all went on. Ugh gah but then talked with a real young part and stuff coming up and just ugh fuck i hate. People. Just very heavy. Having things validated. But im so grateful for the coping mechanisms ive developed. Hhhhhhh fuck its just hard. Heavy heavy heavy. Just trying so hard to keep every thing contained so i can get through work. Thank god for Work Mode 🙏. Id been dxed with ptsd already but i did suspect it was cptsd but man having that validated by a therapist ugh i just feel like ive been taking punches and punching brick walls >.< idk i just wanted to express this all somewhere. "Put it out there"

Thats what i put in the chat earlier.

Idk i wanted to write about it i guess. He was saying too how like a diagnosis yknow its fluid it can change. Which im fully on board with i know it can only really be a snapshot of your current whatever experiences. But one thing i really appreciate about getting that dx and that validation and assurance is that it supplies me the language to tell my story. I realized that that was one issue that i had with how generally non-pathologizing my therapist is. Its also something i appreciate about him though, but i just felt like i couldnt really. Like not even tell my story but know my story. I felt lost and confused and uncertain about what my experience was and how i fit in with the world and people around me.

Who really am i? What defines me as an individual? It helps me answer these questions more fully. Not to say my diagnoses are all that i am or can capture the complexity of me as a being.

Its incredibly validating to do this work. I feel alive and autonomous in a way i never really have before. Some of the parts i work with are so so young. If i wasnt doing this work with a therapist i dont think i would really be able to do it. So im very grateful for my circumstances that allow me that. Although i can tell my therapist wants to do more frequent sessions, but it is expensive and insurance sucks so. Idk. Is what it is.

Ugh but this work also fucking sucks and makes things so so hard. But i know im better for it. Gahhahahshbsgdgdgdhd.

Oh man im also really glad too he labeled what that episode was. I was thinking it was a psychotic or manic and maybe i had bipolar, bc some of my family has been dxed with that. But no he said it was CPTSD. and a dissociative episode. Which man even just writing that out again its just. I cant even really identify how it makes me feel its just this kinda hmmm pressure?? Electrical flux? Along the back of my head.

Im grateful for being able to communicate better with my parts too. I was able to get across some things today that i havent been able to for a while and im glad things went well, even if it got tough. Really friggin tough. I know im moving in the right direction.

Id already been diagnosed with ptsd but that was through my psych who specialized in autism and idk it didnt really sink in. Its different now getting diagnosed by someone who knows me very well, ive been seeing him for like over two years now, so i have a lot of trust in his oppinion. But gosh so many raw nerves. Plus its c -ptsd which like, doesnt mean its worse than ptsd or anything lol some people seem to think that but thats more what i was suspecting. It just made more sense to me than standard ptsd with all the dissociation. But i feel really validated and seen and heard and hmm self assured even! Which is so rare for me. I feel like there was a lot of movement and change today. So this post is really just to commemorate it all. Getting diagnosed with cptsd tho, for me its very different than it was getting diagnosed with autism. Maybe thats because of meeting with that part right after tho :/

[tewz]

I think it's such a shame that no one can get mental help in Upper Michigan, USA. I had to take "getting help" into my own hands and read into psychiatry/different therapies and teach myself how to be less depressed/anxious on my own because my survival instinct kicked in and I can't just go without help. I literally had to help myself as a last resort. It was really difficult but I somehow pulled through. I'm still not able to function like a proper adult (can't work or drive), but I'm no longer s**c*dal and planning my own death like I did between the ages of 14-28. My 30's have actually been great so far. I have a lot less episodes and they are shorter and less intense. I haven't self-harmed in about 5 years or so too. Some people can't conquer such a thing though, and I am really concerned for several of my friends. You wouldn't believe the amount of people who live in my area who come to me crying about how they can't take it anymore. A couple of them jumped through hoops to get online therapy (tele-health, but it's very pricey and inconvenient). It's pretty much all of my friends at this point. Like my advice and compassion can only do so much and it doesn't ever seem to help them. It's become a little tiring in a way.

Same with getting a dentist with cheap insurance. The greedy conservatives (which is 2/3 of the population here) won't allow it. We all have to travel downstate or to Wisconsin to get basic work done (it takes 3.5 hours of driving to get downstate and 2.5 hours to get anywhere good in Wisconsin + no one drives or can afford cars anymore so we're all doomed). I'm gonna have to start getting to the abscess stage again to have to energy/drive to seek another dentist willing to help and that is not fair. I shouldn't have to look like I do hard drugs just because no one will fix my teeth + depression never helped with that equation either.

Everyone's life up here is a disaster. I live in a corner of the world that is sickeningly resource-less. The nearest psychiatric hospital is 1.5 hours away and doesn't usually accept people unless they've committed a crime or something drastic. The 2nd closest one is a double drive down to Wisconsin, unless you have Michigan-only insurance, then you're driving 6 hours downstate.

Another thing that drives me up the wall is the lack of basic ANYTHING. My friend from New York wants to come visit, but there's little to no AirBnB's up here unless you find a cabin in the woods with no phone/internet service, T-Mobile doesn't reach up here, no Uber drivers of any kind (2 expensive taxi companies that are overbooked all the time is the only way to get anywhere), no basic stores to find anything you're looking for so we all have to order stuff off the internet, no records stores in the entire U.P. except for a couple run-down multi-media stores that have maybe a bin or two of 60's country and Christmas music on vinyl, etc, etc. Also, my town has always been living about 10-15 years in the past. You can't find online reviews or even websites for most stores because the boomers and bootlicking assholes around here don't know what the fuck computers are. And if there's a fashion trend that I find on the internet (like crop tops of example), they won't hit our stores until 5 years later when the trend slows down. The end. Rant over. I don't wanna upset myself but like... lol...

[ill-caterpillar-7616]

My life is falling apart and I’m so close to a relapse

My marriage is crumbling due to my own mental health and lack of affection. I feel as though I’m failing my kid at every turn, even when everyone keeps saying I’m doing well or telling me how smart and well-behaved he is. I’ve had to move 2 hours away from my husband and toddler to my mom’s house as my grandmother is now needing 24/7 care probably until she passes (expected within a year but who fucking knows) since no one else in the family can or will be bothered by their own mother dying. An ACTUAL live in caregiver wouldn’t be covered by insurance and would be too expensive. My kid is going to have to live like we have split custody. I feel as though I have barely any true emotional support as my husband is struggling with his own battles that I’m trying so hard to fix/ help with since they’re mostly my fault. My friends are all long-distant or online, and I’m not REALLY that close to any of them at this point in my life. My mother is juggling her job, finances, her mother’s health, her mother’s impending death, another mouth to feed as I can’t bring much monetary assistance to the house, and so much more so it fucking seems like I can’t seem to even ask her to take my kid for 5 minutes after a LONG day, not only doing my duties to my kid and grandmother, but helping my own mother outside even though I have chronic joint pain and a fatigue condition that left me feeling like I was going to collapse from exhaustion, pain, and lack of oxygen by the time I finally pushed my body back inside. SHE WOULDNT EVEN LET ME GET THE QUESTION OUT OF MY MOUTH!! I had been struggling to get him to go to bed for over 30 minutes and I just needed a moment (we do NOT do the cry it out in this household). All I said was”Moma,-“ and it’s all “no, it’s not happening, I have to be up early,” as if I’m not having to ALSO wake up early to get my grandmother dressed, fed, taken to the bathroom, and received her toe fungal meds alongside the other laundry list of medications before she needs to be out the door at 8:30 in the morning

Now, I am aware of my responsibilities as a parent and that as I have MY child, he is MY responsibility, and I don’t want to push him off to other people who have enough on their plate, but to ask for 2 seconds of help from my own mother and to be shot down so quickly and (IMO) cruelly, fucking hurt. I’m taking care of her mother and so far, for just the price of a vape (I’m trying to quit. Also I don’t expect monetary return on help I’m just adding it in I guess. Idk at this point). I have a whole life and family that is falling apart but I know I’m the only option here. My siblings either work or are out of state. My aunts and uncles either have work (which some have the ability to still help even then), their own elderly to care for, or my favorite, care more about their weird church’s “volunteer work” or mowingg their lawn more than coming to help or even fucking visit. Like. Who fuxkin does that?!??!?

So with all of that info… I battled with an addiction to self harm for over 7 years. I’m riddled with scars on my body but I have been 4 years clean as of so far. However, with everything going on, it’s becoming harder and harder to push the thoughts away and think on the things that usually help me get away from those urges/temptations. I hate it because my husband and our baby have been the pillars to my continued clean streak/sobriety(?) and with everything falling apart as it is right now… I don’t know how much longer I can hold on to my sanity if I’m being honest. I have to cancel and put a rain check on both my therapy that I JUST FUCKING STARTED and my psychiatrist appointment (I hope I can just call him and let him know the dosage is fine). It’s all just a big fucking mess.

Im sorry. I know there are many details missing to all of this but it’s not for advice… I just needed to get it off my chest. I can’t tell anyone else. Can’t worry those who are my closest circle bc EVERYONE is dealing with something right now and my BS just …no.

[gr1an]

Pssst psst *slides you 1 Minecraft diamond 💎* I would love to hear about your grian mental health conspiracy board if you are willing to share

who’s ready to get so incredibly parasocial!!!! i have ideas about both c!grian and cc!grian but my conspiracy board is just cc!grian so. i guess i’m explaining that today.

the center of this conspiracy board is that grian has (probably) undiagnosed adhd but also is incredibly intelligent and the unhealthy thinking patterns that arose from that going untreated for so long have led to what appears to be emotional dissociation and also a host of other mental issues.

important context: i’m probably projecting into grian here. my adhd went undiagnosed until my senior year of high school and it (among other things) caused a lot of issues as a result and i see that Very Reflected In Grian but i don’t know how much of it is seeing stuff that actually just. isn’t there.

the adhd thing i don’t feel like i need to explain like. right. we all agree that man is so incredibly adhd.

1. emotional dissociation: you can only make the “i almost actually felt something” joke before i start to go 🤨 . i don’t have any specific instances but it’s a regular joke he makes in GIGS phasmo both the vids on his channel and the streams i’ve see. and i think his past bitchiness is also a probable symptom of the. lack of feeling emotions.

2. he’s very skilled in a lot of things. however. if he’s not good at something immediately, or if he’s not at least immediately having fun, he will emotionally and mentally disengage in a way that is very detrimental to his own performance in things as well as others around him.

3. he also compares himself when he is hyper-focusing (and we all know the issues that come with that. neglect of other needs not being the least of them) to when he isn’t and gets frustrated when his results aren’t the same. it’s one of the things that makes me so convinced that his adhd is undiagnosed bc hyper-focus is not an unknown thing that comes with having adhd. if he could name what is happening and rationalize his actions with this explanation he’d probably be having a bit better time mentally.

4. grian has a reasonable ability to roleplay, we can see this in evo and also his interactions with grumbot in s9, but his roleplay is not usually. emotion-filled (forgive me if i’m wrong here i’m only like 20 episodes into evo and i know the end is what makes ppl insane). so he’s pretty good. but i don’t think the frustration and anger in the “because i’m me!” clip of him is acting. it may be played up for the bit but his teeth are audibly gritted. and this is him expressing incredible frustration at a pattern of behavior that he’s had since For Fucking Ever. lack of impulse control, even if it’s just about small things, is incredibly frustrating to deal with from the inside, and it’s made all the worse when those around you make comments at your expense about how stupid/silly it was for you to have done that thing. this is an adhd thing but i think it deserves special attention bc he’s very impulsive and it nearly always ends up making people or himself frustrated down the line.

5. surprising approximately no one, someone who was bullied in school reacts Incredibly Negatively to sudden stimulus. (martyn startling him while mining, him getting physically nauseous from being startled by the mail sound????)

in conclusion, grian you were so correct when you said “what i actually need is therapy” bc he needs someone to help him figure out the things his brain is doing so he can stop misattributing Symptoms to Personal Moral Failings. bc they’re not and it hurts to see him imply that.

[thefloatingstone]

I give you garass for the unhinged bingo cus I know you want to

hdkfjdshjk My power is off right now so SURE WHY NOT. I GOT NOTHING BETTER TO DO

Sadly I didn't get bingo because Garrus is not like me really 😂 And he's not a "pwecious widdle" anything despite having permanent OwO face

Fun notes!

I haven't tortured them (yet?) so no checking off that box

"Cradling gently in arms" makes me go /////// so I didn't check it

"WHY are they like this???" no no. I know EXACTLY why he's like this. That's the appeal. It's also why "GO TO FUCKING THERAPY" is checked.

Mommy issues is a ? because Garrus doesn't have mommy issues the way he has daddy issues. But his "mommy issues" is his mommy has a degenerative neurological disease and from the sounds of it has been sick for a WHILE and there is no talk or expectation of it getting better. To the point that him leaving C-SEC greatly affected the family income which in large part went to medical expenses. Not to mention his mom was the reason he didn't follow through with his scholarship because his dad worked off world and his sister is 10 years younger than him so he gave up the scholarship to instead remain home while his dad was away to help out at home.

AND I DON'T KNOW IF ALL OF THAT COUNTS AS MOMMY ISSUES OR NOT.

[zetsubonna]

The THING is, a lot of these people who are reacting in this Calvinist fashion just. Do not read philosophy or psychology. (Y'all spend a lot of time on the internet talking to each other, which is fine, but sometimes you gotta go outside your comfort zone in search of mental forgaging exercises.)

So I'm going to give y'all this link to a Psychology Today article on the Four Elements of Forgiveness, which is not paywalled, and then go on a little riff of my own.

From the article:

A. Express the emotion B. Understand why C. Rebuild safety 4. Let go

The author explains, in the article, that the mix of letters and numbers is very much intentional, because the first three elements are in communication with each other and all have to be balanced before going to 4 is possible.

Y'all can unfollow forever/block/whatever if you want, but I have fucked up in my life and I have hurt people. A few of those people have chosen to never interact with me again, and that's their right and I do not chase after people who do not want me. But the person I consider my most often injured party is my younger sibling, and, while I have offered multiple unconditional apologies, I have never asked them for forgiveness.

Whether they forgive me or not is not about me. That's about them. That's their journey. (They have told me that they forgive me, and I try to accept that graciously, but I do not hold their grace as infinite.)

Whether I forgive myself, though, that's between me and myself

A. I express and experience regret for the things that happened between us when we were children, decades ago at this point, and I feel I have a lot of things to regret. I was a child, and I was abused, and I passed that pain along, sometimes intentionally, but usually without thought. I would have said then, and I still say now, that I love my sibling[s] more than anyone on this earth. When I think about my sibling[s], I think about a quote from a show I like, where a sister tells her brother: "I love [partner] with all my heart, but you. You are my heart. You know that, right?" Like, everything I know about myself, I know because they taught/showed me. I exist as I am because of who we are and have been to each other. Knowing that I have not always been kind to them and being able to cite specific examples of times I caused harm, that self awareness occasionally brings me deep sorrow.

B. I know why I did those things: I grew up in a constant climate of abuse. Many different kinds, from many different sources, and I spent most of my childhood and a large chunk of my adult life under that state of constant stress, endlessly operating under duress. The abuse was the behavior that was modeled for me, and while the hard fact of my parentification did not make me an adult, it also did not change that I used some of that unearned authority to my advantage at the expense of those I was meant to safeguard. I knew better, in some cases, but I did not choose to be a martyr about it: sometimes I let someone else take the damage in my stead. It was not okay, but it was understandable. I was largely in survival mode, and people do things, when they are in a conflict, they would not do otherwise.

C. I have been in therapy and on psychoactive medication for a decade. I do not skip therapy appointments. I do not miss doses. I am not interested in weaning off my drugs. I have identified the patterns of the abusers in my life and take steps, daily, to avoid replicating those behaviors in myself. I resist any position of authority I do not feel I can handle, and try to stick to relationships between equals whenever I can. I try to keep lines of communication open. I try to build trust by maintaining confidences and using thoughtful honesty. I give unreserved praise and encouragement whenever I can. I love fiercely, and try to stay humble, in the hope that I do not hold myself above or apart.

4. I cannot undo what I have done. It is done. Time moves in one direction. I can do better today, and better than that tomorrow. I will.

Now, y'all, most importantly: so can you. You cannot undo what you did, but neither can you allow it to destroy you. You cannot constantly punish yourself. I promise that nobody [decent] wants to be the stick with which you self flagellate, not really, and for sure nobody worth fucking talking to wants to hear you talk about what a shit person you are. The only person you should inflict that shit on is a therapist. They elected to train for that profession and they get paid to listen to it. Almost nobody else does. (Tip your hairdressers and bartenders, y'all.)

the thing is, if your younger self was a bigot or an abuser, u can't make people forgive you. but you still gotta forgive yourself, like that's non-negotiable, dude. that happens before u can even ask the question of earning forgiveness from anyone lese

[soulfullionbunny]

i tried to change myself for her but i cant. i tried to be more active on social media but im just not someone gy have a need to express myself. i dont want people to see me, and i dont want people to hear me. besides, going public is seriusly putting ourselves at risk for identity theft/scam. do you know how many sensitive information we exposed? the fact that my instagram and tiktok is public is goddamn nervewrecking. had to hide my birthday, my adress and shit. tu pun x complete, my college and my old high school still there. fuck me i hope im not one of those people yg kena scam sbb tu dowh.

i also tried to be more outgoing, but didnt end well. not a fan being mesra and doing small talk. if im gonna connect, i want it to be over something i will have in common with. in the mean time, i will stuck around wiht my extroverted friends je. im not comfortable with strangers honey, sorry.

then i tried being a rider/rempit. she mentioned she likes them, so... aku pun dah lama plan nak beli motor. maybe she like me again if aku ada ciri2 yg dia suka. but i cant gak bcs that would need money, and im using my money for the future. i cant spend it on that (yet). i know rezeki boleh cari yada yada bla bla but this is my way of mencari rezeki. i will secure money for me and my family first before i spend it on commitment camtu. it will be fun and it will be badass af, but too bad, i have a future to secure.

generally x de changes sangat, im still me. im not pious even after the changes i did. tried memorizing the Quran but i think im too slow for it. at least aku x tinggal solat dah which is good. i can offer religion stability to me future family. im still autistic, having ADHD and C-PTSD. those are permanent, so they are part of me FOREVER lol. therapy is getting expensive so i had to downgrade to public therapist and some exercise my old therapist gave to me. emotionally im more present but damn it takes a lot of energy. probably why i never express it in the first place. lagi 1, my god im also still horny af. i dont know what is wrong with me but my libido is never ending man. this is clearly not porn problem sbb i stop it cold turkey, its my bio problem. dasar species kena kawen awal. i held back lama but at some point kena release gak lmao. bcs of that i had no choice to marstubate once a while. its not that hard actually without porn, but actually easier. probably i dont need the extra help. and its actually flood everytime i did it. damn i probably need to write a separate post about my masturbation journey HAHAHAHHA.

anyway, changes are hard but im changing. but to be a completly different people is impossible. I would appreciate myself more, and just be the best of me instead of other people.

[pending-dope-username]

why does my state hate me? (tw for talk of transphob!c laws)

The state I live in has laws prohibiting insurance companies from covering hormone replacement therapy. This means that in order for me to take testosterone, I would have to pay out of pocket. The cheapest form of testosterone is $40-$100. Injections aren't the only form but it is the best option for money's sake. I currently do not have a job since I'm still in high school. Not a lot of jobs will hire without job experience but I'm an 18 year old who needs job experience because I don't have any because no one will hire me without it. It's a shitty cycle many exist in.

There is no way that with that problem that I will be moving out of state soon. So I am left with two options. Pay for HRT 100% myself or prolong the wait for it. There's problems with both. Paying for it myself leaves me with the challenge of budgeting around payments. If you've been around in the last four years, you will know that the price of living is way too expensive and a minimum wage job barely gets you a shitty place to live and shitty food that probably won't last you till your next paycheck. Not ideal.

Prolonging the wait leaves me with the possibility of completely spiraling out of control and destroying myself or seriously hurting myself. Also not ideal. Currently these are my only options. I can't even with how fucking shitty this is.

If my timelines and calculations are correct, I will either be leaving the state in late 2025-early/mid 2026. Or I will be left with little to no "fun" money/rainy day fund. Why is this the world we live in? I don't even know which states are safe anymore. They've changed in less than a year and they're still changing. i am falling apart alongside every other trans person.

"It's not gonna be that hard."

It's fuckiing hard. And all the people telling us that we are making a choice and not actually born this way are full of fucking bullshit. Why would we choose this? Why would we choose to let ourselves be in these situations? Trust me, if it was a choice I would choose to be cisgender any day of the fucking week.

[moonreview]

✨ main verse.

side blog for moonrevolutions!!!! wip... just... im working on it.

name: virote srisati. age: 29 ( birthday july 21st. ) zodiac: cancer sun, capricorn moon, cancer rising, virgo venus. religion: pantheist ( former buddhist. ) sexuality: homosexual. voice: ( CLICK. ) he has a thai accent. more soft spoken in tone than you’d anticipate, which makes his insults and foul mouthed language even more scathing. species: he’s basically half-alien??? ethnicity: thai-chinese height: 5'0". financial class: upper. so upper that it’s insane. place of birth: bangkok, thailand. current location: san francisco, california. but this is also verse dependent. languages: thai, mandarin, english, japanese, korean, portuguese, spanish ( very, very basic. )

occupation: art therapist. can be found in hospitals, schools, and rehab centers. or public events centered around mental health and art for groups like the lgbt. also works a couple nights a week at a dance studio called motionbox studios. and, last but not least, he’s got a side gig of being a life coach. only through phone consultation. he’s certified! political affiliation: progressive. was a social-anarchist back in the day.

education:

graduated high school, salutatorian, top of his class.

majored in studio art and art history.

has minors in: business - consumer behavior, peace and conflict studies, dance.

art therapy licensing.

4.8gpa, he’s smart and he’s ballin’.

abilities:

it’s your neighborhood cosmic deity / space oddity! moderately psychic with his clairvoyance, clairsentience + empath intuition. has mastered a handful of divination methods. crystal and mirror gazing are his favorites.

heightened spiritual senses. if there’s a ghost, he will see it. might even fight it, you don’t know his life!

aura reading.

folks on his father’s side are pretty famous in southeast asia for being incredible seers, exorcists, demon exterminators, and healers.

channels energy from all celestial bodies for spells. for example: black holes for curses, jupiter for luck, new moons for banishing, etc.

can tell the position of any planet / celestial body at any time. connected to the cosmos, itself.

may know some form of cosmic manipulation, but that’s something he likes to keep under wraps. invoking solar winds, meteor showers, transmutation of space, etc.

he’s a descendant of jan, a thai personification of the moon. mercury, as well since they basically started the beginning of the family tree on his mother’s side of the family. read more about that here. so while he’s human, he’s not… completely human. nonhuman/supernatural muses can probably sense something isn’t quite… completely human about him.

magic is incredibly conditional. depending on retrogades, lunar cycles, planetary aspects, etc.

could turn the earth in a fine powder if he wanted. not to be fucked with.

will banish malicious creatures if you buy him cheesecake.

overall, not to be fucked with.

family:

mother ( 52, nuntida srisati ), father ( 53, udom srisati ). alive, still married.

sister ( 14 ), sanoh.

other stuff:

blood type: o. allergies: none. mental illness: c-ptsd, bipolar ii, bpd, severe depression. physical ailments: none. vices / addictions: alcohol, on his worst days. occasionally smokes marijuana and herb / flowers ( blue lotus, wild dagga, yarrow, etc. ) may dabble in drugs. has went to rehab for this. misc: autism, barely diagnosed. it’s complicated.

piercings: five in each ear. styles: decadent, beautiful, everything is straight from the runway. think of 2000s, meets 90s, meets instabaddie, with a splash of mall goth. bdsm inspired accessories, vintage dior, every single item he wears is more expensive than your rent for an entire year. a lot of mini skirts and silk slip dresses. faux fur coats. latex, satin, and suede. he goes to the gas station for milk in a bodycon dress, ralph & russo eden pumps, and a philipp plein jacket. hard to describe, so just go here. sleek silhouettes, form fitting, elegant. https://moonspower.tumblr.com/archive/tagged/%F0%9F%8C%99%20wardrobe!%20only%20mars%20burns%20so%20bright.

negatives: somewhat aloof at times, completely detached when stressed, prone to worrying too much, prone to fits of depression and severe anxiety, big temper, foul mouth. positives: creative, humorous, very willing to listen, intuitive, witty and sharp, incredibly intelligent, calm in situations where others panic, bold. interests / talents: herbal healing, gemology, gardening, dancing, arguing on the internet, various visual art mediums, fortune telling / divination, listening to music of all kinds, astrology, studying slugs and moths. he has a revolving door of hobbies!

the rundown:

moved to america when he was about thirteen-years-old. had a semi-hard time trying to assimilate to the culture.

his father owns an alcohol brand, various vineyards, and holds shares in other business endeavors ( making him a multimillionaire, borderline billionaire, in the process. ) his mother’s side of the family invests in clinics across asia. this man has money and way too much of it.

grew up a fairly normal life, outside of wrestling with his own mental illnesses. oftentimes, he finds himself feeling bad for having any complaints about his life due to family wealth, status, and overall privilege of getting whatever money can buy.

enjoys several styles of dance! contemporary, hiphop, vogue, tektonik, and samba are his favorites. as a child, he wanted to be an acrobat and contortionist. he doesn’t practice much these days, but he still has little dreams of performing in cirque du soleil. artistic movement, in general, has brought a lot of meaning to his life.

drives a black lykan hypersport.

has a black cat named kikimora. she looks a little strange.

lives in a penthouse covered in paintings and whatever other artwork he’s conjured over the past two or three years! the place is very nice and very luxe with a great view.

enjoys doing charity work of all kinds, especially during the holidays. catch him volunteering anywhere at any moment.

english is never spoken with family and he has an accent, it makes him feel a touch on the insecure side. that doesn’t stop him from becoming talkative, though.

can be found in art museums, cafes, bars, book stores, metaphysical shops, and music stores in his downtime. occasionally, you can find him telling fortunes on the streets either with his cards or the art of palm reading / palmistry.

fr tho he can kinda be an asshole lol be he means well.

[theabyrae]

Shit, I'm 40 and I'm still dealing with the trauma of over a decade of bullying.

My self-confidence is crap. My body image, even worst. My anxiety? Through the fucking roof. I dissociate when things get stressful. I frequently have nightmares. In crowded places like a restaurant, for example, I always try to sit where I can see the whole room and, if possible, close to the exit.

For years I only bought crappy, ugly winter coats, because the memory of my mother buying me a super cute (and expensive for her) red coat for Christmas one year, only to have a group of classmates ruin it 2 months later by throwing raw eggs, soy sauce, mustard, molasses, and tomato juice at me on my 12th birthday is forever seared into my mind. I missed the school bus to go home that day because I ran to the school's bathroom to try to clean my coat (and failed). I had to walk home for 2km in -20°C weather because I couldn't call my father at work to come pick me up (this was the 90s and kids didn't have cell phones back then), and teachers had all left already because it was Friday (besides, most teachers back then turned a blind eye on bullying and said such platitudes like "kids will be kids", "they just tease you because they like you", and "just ignore them and they will stop picking on you"). My mom did a lot of yelling that night, and cried as she tried to treat the stains and wash that coat three times in the washing machine, but the harm was already done and most of the stains never came out. My new coat went straight into the trash, and I spent the rest of that winter wearing one of her old coats because I had outgrown my old one. Happy fucking birthday to me, amirite? (I knew she was angry, but now what I am older, I realise that she wasn't angry AT ME. I wish I could tell my 12 years old self that though, because I spent so many years blaming myself for that coat.)

And the worst? I've become good at lying, because a) being honest with people when I was young just gave them more ammunition to make fun of me, and b) I just want to fit in and I live with the constant and very-irrational fear that the few real friends I have now as an adult will abandon me if I don't think like them, or if I don't like what they like, or if I don't do what they want me to do.

Even though I am going through therapy, I don't think I will ever recover and live "normally".

This is most likely why I hate most people. This is why I now have anger issues. This is why I had been suicidal for most of my 20's. This is I hold grudges and have trust issues.

So fuck bullies and fuck everyone who says bullying is no big deal, and that it won't matter to you later in life.

hey uh. don't listen to the people who say the bullying won't matter once you get out of school. because shit. it will.

bullying is peer abuse. it's traumatizing. and while getting out of the environment helps, the hurt doesn't go away. all the things ingrained in you don't go away. just because your bullies might not be in your life doesn't mean the awful things they did to you don't matter. they are still very significant people in your life.

please don't brush it off. please treat yourself with kindness and fight for the support and safety you deserve. you are not the person your bullies thought you were. you never were. you deserve to be happy and confident, and minimizing what happened won't lead to that.

[kitten4sannie]

𝐖𝐡𝐲'𝐝 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐎𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐂𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐌𝐞 𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐘𝐨𝐮'𝐫𝐞 𝐇𝐢𝐠𝐡?

Part 2

Ex Boyfriend! Wooyoung x Fem! Reader 

Genre: smut, slight angst

Summary: When your toxic ex gave you a call late at night, you knew exactly what was up. You weren’t dumb. He was high again. And he wanted you. 

W.C:  3.8k

Warnings: weed use, nsfw, Wooyoung’s a dick, misogyny, toxicity, fwb (more like mortal enemies w benefits), dom! Wooyoung, sub! reader, lots of swearing, degradation, fingering, oral (receiving and giving), Wooyoung may be toxic but he loves eating pussy, orgasm denial, squirting, deep throating, brief cum play, manhandling, rough (unprotected) sex, pussy slapping, regular slapping, choking, hair pulling, name calling

A/N: I had a really fun time writing this lol like were moments where I had to just close my laptop and take a breather 🫠 This is just pure painslut paradise, so if you’re into that then I hope you enjoy ♡ Also, I would appreciate it if you could leave a comment or reblog if you really enjoyed reading this! I would love to see what some of you thought of it :) 

Song Recs: WYOCMWYH and Do I Wanna Know by The Arctic Monkeys, You Get Me So High by The Neighborhood (the last lyrics of this song fit so well with this ughh “If you can just let me know if it's okay to call you when I'm lonely” like ???!!)

Masterlist

➽───────────────❥

You were washing the makeup off your face and humming along to your favorite song when the music suddenly cut off. Your ringtone started blasting into your airpods, causing you to wince in pain. Who the hell was calling you at this hour? What ever happened to basic human decency?

“Who the fuck..?” you mumbled to yourself, blindly reaching for your wash cloth to wipe your face. Once you could see, you peered down at your phone, grimacing instantly. Of course it would be Wooyoung. Just your luck.

Your finger hovered over the bottom of your phone, wondering if you should just ignore him. The last time you had interacted with Wooyoung, you had fucked all over his apartment, only to end up in a huge argument over the fact that he felt he wasn’t the only toxic one and that you were just as a bad as him. Neither of you could come to an agreement (shocker) because you felt that he was the one who brought it out of you, believing you were inherently good. Or maybe the two of you were just oil and water. Doomed to always repel each other. Who knows. You weren’t a psychologist. 

Fuck it. 

You sighed, silently cursing yourself for being so mentally weak, before answering his call.

“Um, you do know that people sleep at this hour, right? What could you possibly want?” you snapped as soon as the call connected, placing your hand on your hip unconsciously. 

“Come over,” the man responded with an uncharacteristically gravelly voice. He only sounded like that when he had smoked too much and his throat was dry. You leaned your back against your bathroom counter, playing with a lock of your (h/c) hair. 

“What happened to all the ‘hoes’ you talk about pulling? Aren’t any of them awake? Or was that just bullshit, like everything else that comes out of your mouth?” you sneered, trying to get under his skin as much as possible, despite being almost excited to hear how he would react.

Wooyoung’s tongue clicked against the roof of his mouth, his jaw clenching involuntarily. After a second of thinking, he retorted smugly, “Don’t act like you weren’t just bouncing on my dick a few weeks ago, whore.”

You swallowed harshly, a wave of heat going straight into your core. You remained silent for a minute, not even knowing how to respond to that. You wanted to argue with him, of course, since it was a reflex at the point. You couldn’t though, since you knew he was right. 

Wooyoung took a quick inhale of his joint, exhaling, “Get your fucking ass over here. Now.”

You almost choked on your spit, hating how much he turned you on when he treated you like this. Oh, well. You knew you probably needed therapy, but that shit was too expensive. At least fucking Wooyoung was therapeutic, in a way. Not to mention, it felt ten times better than it felt to confront your own issues. 

“Fine,” you hissed into the phone, your eyebrows knitting together. “I’ll be there in 20. Try not to not to nut before I get there.” 

You heard him let out a small chuckle, picturing the stupid smirk he probably had plastered on his stupid sexy face. He, in fact, was smirking. He may have hated you, but he loved this dynamic you had together. And he was going to take full advantage of it. 

“Don’t worry, baby. I can wait. You know how much I love covering your dumb little slutty face in my cum.” 

You gripped your phone tightly in your hand, the tips of your fingers almost turning white. Jung Wooyoung. He knew exactly what he wanted and he always got his way. No wonder he was such an insufferable prick. You fucking despised him, sure. But you loved fucking him just as much. It was quite the predicament. 

“S-see you in a bit, “ you mumbled, hanging up before he could make fun of you for being so flustered. 

You didn’t bother putting more makeup on; you weren’t about to put all that effort into looking like a whole snack. Especially not for Wooyoung. He would have to accept you as you are: bare faced, hair up in a loose ponytail, and wearing your favorite pair of sweatpants. 

When you finally arrived at his apartment building, you put in the door code and stepped inside in the lobby. You groaned, noticing the ‘out of order’ sign that was plastered on the elevator door.

“Great,” you mumbled to yourself, before reluctantly heading to the stairs. By the time you got to the 6th floor, you were a little sweaty. You wiped the perspiration from your forehead and tugged a bit on your plain white tank top in an attempt to cool down. You walked down the hall and stopped when you got to his apartment, knocking loud enough for him to hear from his living room.

Wooyoung put his joint down into the small ashtray that was sitting next to him, before walking over to the door and opening it. He looked at you, eyes squinting.

“You look like shit,” he commented plainly, as he walked back to his couch and plopped down onto it.

You shut the door somewhat hard, throwing your bag onto the floor in the process. You stood there for a second, trying to come up with a good comeback. 

“Woo, shut the fuck up, okay? Cuz’ as soon as I sit down on that couch, you’re gonna be two fingers deep in this pussy. Don’t even try to deny it,” you huffed, kicking your shoes off near the door. 

Wooyoung’s brown eyes rolled back into his head, as you sat down on the couch next to him. He didn’t deny it, so you felt that you had won that time. You picked up his half-smoked joint from the ashtray and placed it between your lips.

“Gimme.” You pointed at the lighter that was sitting on the small table next to the couch. It was too far away for you to grab it yourself. Wooyoung glanced over at you, raising one eyebrow slightly. You stared back on him, blinking a couple times. He sighed, grabbing the lighter and tossing it into your lap. 

“So lazy,” he commented, shaking his head as if he was disappointed in you. 

You flicked the little wheel on the lighter angrily, before deeply inhaling the smoke into your lungs. You needed to be high as soon as possible, or else you risked losing your damn mind. 

“I swear that mouth of yours is only capable of talking shit,” you spat, glaring in his direction.

Wooyoung met your angry eyes with his own half-closed ones, his lips forming into a lewd smile. His hand dropped down onto your thigh, his fingers massaging into it like he was molding some playdough.

“You know it’s capable of doing a lot more than that. Don’t you, baby?” he said, leaning closer to you. “Or does a forgetful little slut like you need a reminder?” 

You felt your heart almost stop beating inside your chest, not only from his shamelessness, but from the way his slender fingers continued to move further and further up your thigh. 

“I-i think I need a reminder,” you mumbled, still desperately puffing on the joint that you held between your thumb and index fingers.

“Mm, that’s what I thought,” he exhaled, as his fingers suddenly moved past your sweatpants and made direct contact with your bare pussy. Wooyoung groaned, pleased with your decision to go commando.

He moved his fingers up and down your slit, noticing how incredibly wet you already were for him. Without any hesitation, he slipped two digits inside you, all the way to his knuckles, just as you predicted only a few minutes earlier. Not that it was impressive or anything; he did this every time you two met up. 

Wooyoung grunted, working his fingers in and out of your cunt, extremely pleased with the squelching sounds that accompanied his quick movements. It was like music to his ears. 

“Fuck, Y/N. I’ve barely touched you and you’re already soaking wet,” he purred against your ear, before nipping it. 

“Don’t-aah-let it go to your head,” you responded shakily, tossing the remains of the joint into the ashtray. “I just-nnngh-get wet really easily. A-anyone could be touching me and this would still happen.”

Wooyoung’s fingers suddenly pulled away from your lower half and were instead used to grab your chin roughly, forcing you to face him. 

“You’re on thin fucking ice, Y/N. If even one more word comes out of that whore mouth of yours, you’re gonna get it.” He tilted his head slightly, as if he was challenging you to say something.

Fuck yes. 

This was the only side of Wooyoung that you actually wanted to see come out. There was something incredibly wrong about that, but you couldn’t care less. All you cared about was getting off. That was probably the only thing you two could relate to. 

You licked your lips in anticipation, before leaning up close to his face. Your lips formed a small, almost smug smile. Inhaling sharply beforehand as an attempt to prepare yourself, you stated, “Fuck. You~”

***

“F-fffuck…! Wooyoooung…!” you moaned out shakily, burying your face into the sheets of his bed. You were currently laying in a head-down, ass-up position near the edge of the bed, your legs spread wide open. Wooyoung was on his knees on the floor, face buried in your pussy. 

“Mmmn…you taste so fucking good…” he mumbled against your folds, his voice vibrating through you. He had been eating you out for over 40 minutes, clearly taking his sweet time. This wasn’t an unusual occurrence; in fact, he always made sure he ate your pussy to his heart’s content before he even thought about letting you leave. Wooyoung was simply a huge fan of cunillingus. He loved the way he could feel your pussy pulse against his tongue, the way your juices would constantly spill out of you, but his favorite thing was how your pussy looked after he was done with you. Swollen and dripping with your essence. Just thinking about it could make his dick hard on command.

“Wooyoung, oh my fucking god, yes…!” you cried, feeling his fingers moving in and out of you at a rapid pace. You felt yourself getting closer and closer to cumming for the fourth time in a row, your body slowly relaxing and your moans getting progressively louder. 

Wooyoung noticed this and pulled his mouth away from you, saliva mixed with your wetness dripping down his chin. You whined in response, slamming your closed fist down onto the mattress in protest.

 “Wooyoung, stop being such a dick and let me cum!” you yelled, on the verge of losing your mind. It almost hurt getting so close to orgasming and then having it ripped away from you, only to start the process once again. 

Wooyoung answered your plea by giving your slit a harsh slap, rubbing it afterwards. He did it a few more times in a row, only stopping when he was satisfied with the reddened state of your pussy. Chuckling when he heard you mewling like the painslut you were, he stated, “I’ll let you cum if you beg for it. Can you do that for me, Y/N?” 

You swallowed your pride and obliged Wooyoung’s request, whining, “Please, Woo! Make me cum! I need it so bad!” You looked back at him, wanting him to see how needy you were. As much as you hated seeing Wooyoung’s smug face, you wanted to get completely wrecked by him. No one else could do it like him, not that you would ever tell him that. 

Wooyoung exhaled through his nose, his teeth sinking into his bottom lip. You could tell by his facial expression that he was incredibly aroused by your obedience and overall submissiveness. Without a word, he dove tongue-first back into your pussy, immediately getting to work. He then shoved his middle and index fingers into your needy hole once again,  finger-fucking you at a brutal pace. 

“Fuck! Oh my fucking god…!” you cried out, unable to think about anything else except for Wooyoung and how good he was making you feel. When you felt him spread your ass and shove his tongue in and out of your pulsing pussy, you began to see stars. 

“Cum for me,” Wooyoung commanded, as he used two fingers from his free hand to rub rapidly against your swollen clit. “Cum all over my fucking face.” 

He was working your body in such an intense way, you could’ve sworn that you were about to pass out. Spikes of pleasure coursed through your body like lightning, causing the edges of your vision to blur. Suddenly, everything faded away and you were floating, in a state of complete euphoria. You screamed Wooyoung’s name, violently squirting all over his face and fingers. 

“Whoa…” he gawked, completely shocked by how much cum had squirted out of you. Wooyoung had made you squirt before, but he had never made you squirt that hard. He was so incredibly hard at this point that he knew he’d probably nut as soon as you touched him, but he didn’t care. Honestly, he was just glad that he could witness you in such a fucked-out state already. And he hadn’t even stuck his dick inside you yet. 

“It’s my turn now, baby,” he informed you, wiping as much of your wetness off of his face as he could with his fingers and sucking them clean. 

You laid down on your back, putting two pillows underneath your head. Wooyoung straddled you, his knees on either side of your chest, just below your armpits. His swollen twitching cock was right in front of your face, causing you to almost start drooling. He looked down at you with half-lidded eyes, holding his shaft with his dominant hand and the back of your head with the other. 

“I’m gonna throat-fuck you, okay?” 

You nodded, very familiar with his tastes by now. Typically, you didn’t usually enjoy choking on dick, but it was different when it came to Wooyoung. You simply loved when he treated you like his own personal fuckdoll. 

Wooyoung wasn’t a monster; he took his time with you at first, letting you suck his dick normally for a while, until he needed more. He exhaled, using his hands to grip the sides of your head, his cock pumping in and out of your throat at an unforgiving pace. You did your best not to gag, but it was inevitable. Tears streamed down your cheeks, only serving to fuel Wooyoung’s insatiable lust. 

“Oh, yeah…Take this cock, you fucking whore…” he groaned, thrusting roughly into your open mouth and ultimately reaching his high just as quick as he expected. You let out a few muffled moans, feeling your wetness leaking out of your cunt like a broken faucet. 

“Shit! I’m-aaah-'' Wooyoung's words were cut off by his own moans, his fingers suddenly gripping the base of your ponytail and pulling it roughly as he reached his limit. He yanked your head back, causing his dick to slide out of your mouth with a lewd ‘pop’, just in time for his hot cum to shoot out onto your face in spurts. You both sat there for a moment, trying to catch your breath and recover. 

“You look so fucking hot like this…” Wooyoung exhaled, reaching down to spread his cum across your cheeks and all over your swollen lips, before sliding his cum-covered fingers into your mouth so that you could clean them.

 “Mm, you're my good little cumslut…” 

Once he pulled his hand away, you both sat in silence just gazing at each other. It was moments like this that made you question why you two couldn’t just work out your differences and try again, but then Wooyoung opened his mouth. 

“You shouldn’t look at me like that. I might make the mistake of thinking you’re in love with me again. And that would be rough because you already know I don’t waste my time wifing up whores like you,” he sneered, instantly reminding you why you hated his guts.

 Sure, you usually liked it when Wooyoung called you a whore, but this was different. He didn’t say it to turn you on; he said it to piss you off.

“Fuck you!” you retorted, shoving him off of you and onto the floor. After climbing down from the bed to where Wooyoung had landed, you angrily straddled him, instantly sliding down onto his cock and bouncing on it like your life depended on it. 

“Oh, fuck…” he exhaled, his hands immediately gripping your hips, as though it was muscle memory. Wooyoung was caught off guard by your anger, in all honesty, allowing you to be in control for once. He silently watched the way your breasts would bounce up and down every time you moved, before reaching up to grope them. You ground your hips against his, the anger you felt bubbling up inside you. Suddenly, you snapped. 

“You’re such a fucking asshole, Wooyoung!” you spat, slapping him square across the jaw.

 Wooyoung grunted, feeling his cheek stinging, his dick twitching inside of you. This wasn’t an uncommon occurrence; he actually quite enjoyed it. As did you. 

“You fucking bitch,” he growled, his dark eyes boring into your own. 

Before you knew what was happening, you found yourself being shoved down onto the floor and your legs being spread forcibly. He slapped you across the face, just as hard as you had done to him, causing your ear to ring temporarily.

You felt your pussy pulse in response to the pain, just like every other time he smacked you. Wooyoung then shoved his cock inside you without any hesitation and thrusted harshly into you, pinning your hands above your head before you could retaliate. 

“I hate you…!” you cried out, glaring up at him. “I hate you so much!”

“Yet you’re you still here taking this fucking cock inside your tight little cunt,” he snarled, his face only inches away from yours. “You’re a fucking joke, Y/N. Just be a good girl for once and let me fuck you without all the theatrics.” 

You opened your mouth to argue with him, but before you could say anything, Wooyoung’s thumb was sliding past your lips and onto your tongue. You moaned, unable to keep yourself from sucking on it. He leered down at you, his dick throbbing against your inner walls. 

“That’s a good girl…” he praised, continuing to pound into you at a brutal pace, making sure to hit your g-spot each time. It felt so unbelievably good, that you could’ve sworn your soul was actually leaving your body. Your mind was completely blank; all you could focus on was the incredible pleasure that was washing over you.

You were only brought back to reality when you felt Wooyoung’s warm fingers wrapping around your throat. Feeling deliciously dizzy, you let out a series of strangled moans, very close to reaching your high. 

“Cum for me,” he commanded. “Now.”’

Wooyoung had one hand around your neck and used the other to throw one of your legs over his shoulder, allowing him to fuck you at a deeper angle. You yelled out Wooyoung’s name, instantly cumming all over his dick. Once your pussy tightened around his length like a vice, Wooyoung moaned out in ecstasy. Cum spilled out of his cock and filled you up completely, just how you liked it.

“Fuck…” you exhaled, resting your head back on the shaggy carpet below you.

 You both laid there for a good minute, just catching your breath. After the both of you had slowly come back to reality, you both silently climbed onto the bed and collapsed onto it.

You felt yourself sinking into the mattress, ready to pass out. Just as you were about to fall asleep, you heard Wooyoung’s voice break the silence, causing you to look over in his direction. 

“Goodnight, Y/N. Sweet dreams,” he mumbled, giving you an unexpectedly kind smile, before turning his body to face away from you.

You blinked, wondering where the hell that came from. He must’ve still been high; that was the only logical explanation your tired brain could come up with. Closing your eyes once again, you mumbled back, “Night, Wooyoung.” 

By the time Wooyoung woke up the following morning, you were already gone. There was no evidence that you had even been there, except for the cum stains you left on his sheets. How romantic. 

Wooyoung sat up while letting out a deep sigh, rubbing the back of his neck as he stared at the mess you made near the edge of his bed. He would never admit it to you, but he actually thoroughly enjoyed the time he spent with you, even though it solely consisted of fighting and fucking. The troubled young man sat there for a while, replaying last night’s events inside his head over and over. 

“Fuck…” he mumbled, before throwing himself back down onto the mattress. As he inhaled some of your perfume that still remained on his pillow, he made a mental note inside his head to stock up on some more weed so that he had an excuse to see you again.  

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