#c: eileen

[musicalfilm]

bob fosse & janet leigh in my sister eileen (1955)

[tgtbata]

[dean voice] he has porn

[diver5ion]

[bestie-enthusiast]

This is real niche, but I binge watched Smash and got inspired so, uh, here you go!

Tight

Genre: Hurt/comfort, fluff

Characters: Tom, Julia, Derek, Eileen

Summary: Tom ran a hand through his hair, uncaring if it mused. The room that Julia and Eileen had kindly locked both Derek and himself in was too small for his preferences

It was almost comedic, both the preceding events and the current occurrence, funny if you didn’t really have an understanding of comedy. Tom ran a hand through his hair, uncaring if it mused. The room that Julia and Eileen had kindly locked both Derek and himself in was too small for his preferences, even though it wasn’t particularly small at all. Slightly bigger than an elevator, still far from his favorite. Tom much preferred the wide, open concepts of studios, practice rooms, or stages.

How did he end up in this predicament? Really it was all Derek’s fault, he hadn’t been able to keep his mouth shut about Tom’s most recent lover. It had been an off handed comment really, not intended to incite an argument, just piss him off, but Tom- oh he was in a mood. Having just finished breaking up with his most recent lover, he snapped when Derek made some stupid comment about cologne and spread legs. He had made a petty comment back, and they dissolved into arguing. Derek stood up first, but Tom was not far behind, the two of them leaning into each other's space, though unfortunately Tom lost the physical aspect of the fight, having been backed up against the wall.

He would never admit it, but there were rare times where he found himself scared of Derek. Not often, never during rehearsal, but when they argued like this? He was shorter, and certainly weaker, than Derek was, and less aggressive too. Eileen had separated the two of them, tugging Derek out of her office with sharp words and Julia grabbed his shoulders and shook him, tone similarly upset. “I’m not scared,” He could recall himself saying. Now, sitting in a small, drywall box, he felt the need to rescind his earlier statement.

Derek hadn’t even done anything. They had both been shoved through the door, disoriented until well after the click of the lock, and ordered to get along if they wanted out. He wanted to pace, but he also didn’t fancy giving Derek a reason to get pissy with him when he’s locked in a room with the man. He wrung his hands, rubbed his wrists, tapped his fingers on his knees, anything to rid himself of the terrible nervous energy.

“Will you quit that?” Derek asked suddenly, sharply. Tom immediately stilled, squeezing his hands into fists instead. Slight pain radiated from where his nail dug into his skin, but he didn’t care, it was a distraction at least. Derek was eyeing the door like he was going to break it down.

“Sorry,” It was his voice, in a pathetic tone, a sound that made him embarrassed. Him, apologizing to Derek, could you imagine? The terrible things phobias made you do, honestly. The room was warming up, or maybe that was just his imagination, but he tugged off his jacket and undid a button on his shirt. He could feel Derek staring at him, and he could only imagine how pathetic he looked, having a freak out over being locked in a room. “Not a fan of small rooms.” Why did he admit that? Burying his head in his knees, Tom tried to focus on his breathing, inhaling and exhaling slowly. Really, he did not want to start crying in front of Derek. Of all people, why did it have to be Derek?

“Right.” Derek’s voice was flat, but Tom could still feel his eyes on him. To his utter humiliation, he felt tears pool in his eyes, so he kept them pressed against his knees so that he wouldn’t shed any. “Are you crying?” If he wasn’t actually crying, Tom would have laughed at the slight panic in Derek’s voice. If they wanted to get out, they needed to get along, and Tom crying definitely put a dent in that.

“No.” He lied, voice thick with emotion. He dragged in a shaky breath, and then another, and another, until he was on the verge of hyperventilating. He lifted his head off of his knees and clutched at his chest, but it only made it worse as he was reminded just how small the room was. “Fuck.” Through blurry vision, he could see Derek hesitantly take a few steps over, until he was standing above him.

“Listen, we don’t like each other. We probably will not ever like each other. But we need out of this room, so you need to. Stop. Crying.” Tom did laugh this time, slightly manic as he looked up at Derek, whose arms were crossed and whose face was in an angry scowl. “We can talk like adults when you stop acting like a child.” Ouch, that one hurt. It wasn’t Tom’s fault that he hated spending any more time than necessary in small spaces, or that he was hyperventilating, or crying.

“I- I-” Tom choked on a gasping breath. Breathe- he couldn’t breathe, the room was too small and he couldn’t- “Sorry,” He wheezed, shaking hands desperately attempting to undo another button on his shirt as he struggled to take in his next breath. Eyes squeezed shut, Tom pretended he was on stage, in a field, in his apartment, literally anywhere else but this too small room with a man who he hated and who hated him back equally.

Dizziness was creeping up on him, and he knew if he didn’t stop hysterically hyperventilating he was going to have a much more embarrassing situation on his hands. It had been so long since he’d had an anxiety attack, or at least one without Julia there to help, and the knowledge that Derek was watching him panic wasn’t helping anything at all. How was he supposed to calm down, again? He couldn’t remember- he wasn’t supposed to do this alone, Julia was supposed to help him- why isn’t Julia here to help him?

“Tom.” Shaking his head, Tom kept his eyes firmly shut and pretended Derek did not exist. “Tom,” That one was far more exhausted than Derek had any right to sound, so Tom pried his eyelids open to give the director a death stare. Derek looked back at him flatly, he looked annoyed, which was so unfair. “How can I help?”

Well, now that was unexpected. He stared at Derek, uncomprehending the words that just left the mouth of his enemy of several years. Unfortunately, Tom couldn’t respond, because he was too busy sobbing his heart out as his lungs struggled to remember how to breathe oxygen.

“Right,” An annoyed sigh, and then Derek was sitting next to him, close enough that their shoulders and thighs were touching. An arm, hooked around his shoulders, pulled him flush against Derek’s side, and Tom instinctually sought out his heart beat, resting his head on Derek chests as he gave hiccuping sobs and shallow, quick breaths. “Better?”

And how he hated to admit it, but it was. Derek was pleasantly warm, and he smelled great, and his heart was calm and consistent. Derek's hand absentmindedly stroked Tom’s arm, which helped as well, just contact in general was nice. It took a few minutes, but eventually Tom was breathing, mostly, normally, and his tears had all but stopped. He almost didn’t want to pull away, but then he reminded himself that this is Derek and he was shuffling over so they were no longer touching each other.

“Thank you.” He mumbled, turning to face the other way, as he was sure his face was quite the sight at the moment. Puffy eyes, flushed cheeks, and tear tracks aren’t exactly the most beautiful things to look at. He wiped at his face with his sleeve, uncaring if dampened the fabric.

Both Derek and him perked up when there was clicking noise, and the door swung open. Julia and Eileen both rushed into the room, and Tom scrambled up to his feet, pulling Julia into a fierce hug. Their embrace lasted a good few moments as Tom clung to her, laying his head on her shoulder to hide the way his eyes filled with tears again.

“Don’t you ever do that again,” He told her firmly, pulling back and looking at her face. “Please.” She laughed a bit, and he giggled, dragging her out of the terrible room at a brisk pace.

Things between him and Derek settled for about 2 hours, until Tom made a suggestion, and Derek got pissed at him again. Julia and Eileen exchanged a look of mutual suffering, but regaled to just telling them to knock it off and continuing on. No need for any more torture, even if it got them a few hours of peace and quiet.

-

Later, in Tom’s apartment, Julia would sit on his couch with his head in her lap as he made her promise to never, ever leave him alone when he has an anxiety attack and she can come help. She shushed him, coming her fingers through his hair as she promised, and it was one she would keep.

[yharnamcrow]

We might move on to the next town soon. The children have an interest in seeing the so called haunted house on route 14. I have seen more than enough haunted houses in my life, but they have not. They would be protected at the very least, so there is that. Ah, but that is for then. For now I am treating the children and the Gascoigne family to dinner. If we are to be on the road soon, we might as well indulge once more before forgoing creature comforts.

[shallowseeker]

What is real? The soldier's burden

"I don't know...what's real anymore."

Dissociation is a disruption of and/or discontinuity in the normal, subjective integration of one or more aspects of psychological functioning, including memory, identity, consciousness, perception, and motor control. A limited number of studies investigated combat-related dissociation.

32% of the veterans with PTSD also had discrete dissociation

dissociation represents a primary facet of PTSD that has an equal distribution among patients with PTSD and that dissociation is a general marker for the severity of the condition

...prominent depersonalization (i.e., detachment or feelings of unreality regarding one's self)

...and derealization (i.e., detachment or feelings of unreality regarding one's environment)

Our findings showed that the increase in some dissociative symptoms (i.e., depersonalization–derealization) in patients with physical injury was specific to combat-related

x

[rattlinbog]

okay that little boy did NOT know that his mom was planning to kill herself and then change her mind about it. ed harris really had to be Like That just because she dropped him off with a babysitter one time.

[firelise]

I love it when the algorithm is algorithming

[diver5ion]

[comrademango]

Hello!

(poll for reach; i'm bald because my answer is only when crunchy or mushy)

Please give attention to this campaign!

This young family consists of Ahmed, Dina (@zinaanqar), and their four young children (Zeina, Eileen, Yamen, Sawsan). Their youngest, Sawsan, was born in June and Dina and the rest of her family had to leave the hospital immediately because of the danger. You can see their own update on this on their GFM page.

Their campaign is 90% of the way there. As of the time of writing, they have raised €67,288 out of the €75,000 goal. That said, they are still facing danger at any given moment and the sooner they reach their goal, the better.

This is a vetted campaign (no. 264 in the vetted fundraisers list by el-shab-hussein and nabulsi and line 741 in the ButterflyEffect Project's list). You can also enter a raffle for a free commission by @turtletoria when you donate!

tags for reach, dm for tag removal, ty

@roadimusprime @nogender-onlystars @heydreamchild @butchmagicalboi @heliopixels

@a-shade-of-blue @neptunerings @lesbianmaxevans @brutaliakhoa @thatsonehellofabird

@dlxxv-vetted-donations @imjustheretotrytohelp @batricity @c-u-c-koo-4-40k @paparoach

@chexcastro @anneemay @mesetacadre @forevergulag @tamamita

@determinate-negation @notallmensheviks @dorothylarouge @gabajoofs @phenakistoskope

@feralparsnip @thesummersucks @moonrver @amethyinst @ilynpilled

@oceanmonsters @salahattricks @pickleballhater @disinfobot @tweedfrog

@unrealcities @captainrayzizuniverse @pannaginip @afc-agitprop @millythegoat

[c-u-c-koo-4-40k]

Verified info above.

Please Share, and consider donating if you have the means. Minimum donations can be the reason a gofundme succeeds!

Even if you can't donate, Sharing still helps by getting more eyes and support on the campaign.

Its free, easy and can literally help save a life! Thank you.

The Alanqar family has a new baby to care for, and three very young children, Zeina, Eileen, and Yamen, the oldest of which is 7 years old. They need your help to restore hope and safety to their lives!!

🍉They are currently at €61,257 out of their €75,000 goal - please consider donating to them and helping them reach their goal as quickly as possible!!

🌟 This campaign has been vetted by @/el-shab-hussein and @/nabulsi - #264 on the vetted Gaza fundraiser list.

🕊 Show your support to Ahmed and Dina by following their account @zinaanqar - their account has been suspended multiple times and they can use the support!

🇵🇸

[animusrox]

TOP 10

Past Lives

Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse

How to Blow Up a Pipeline

Poor Things

Oppenheimer

Barbie

BlackBerry

The Holdovers

The Iron Claw

Killers of the Flower Moon

MY LETTERBOXD Grade A 11.    The Killer 12.    Beau Is Afraid 13.    Dream Scenario 14.    Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 15.    Godzilla Minus One 16.    American Fiction 17.    They Cloned Tyrone 18.     Evil Dead Rise 19.    Eileen 20.    The Artifice Girl 21.   Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem 22.    Talk to Me 23.    Reality 24.    Leave the World Behind 25.    A Thousand and One 26.    Mission: Impossible – Dead Reckoning Part One 27.    Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret. 28.    Theater Camp 29.   Carmen 30.    Merry Little Batman 31.    Priscilla 32.    Society of the Snow 33.    Infinity Pool 34.    Enys Men 35.    Sanctuary 36.    Rye Lane 37.    Skinamarink 38.    Monster 39.    Anatomy of a Fall 40.    Landscape with Invisible Hand 41.    Reptile 42.    Sisu 43.    Pinball: The Man Who Saved the Game 44.    No One Will Save You 45.    Tetris 46.    May December 47.    The Zone of Interest 48.    V/H/S/85 49.    Dumb Money 50.    El Conde 51.    Arnold 52.    Maestro 53.    Napoleon 54.    20 Days in Mariupol 55.    Influencer 56.    The Creator 57.    Origin 58.    Thanksgiving 59.    Next Goal Wins 60.    The Boy and the Heron 61.    Bottoms 62.    Wonka

[Press Keep Reading For The Full Graded List]

Grade B

63.   God Is a Bullet 64.    No Hard Feelings 65.    Joy Ride 66.    Fair Play 67.     Cocaine Bear 68.    NYAD 69.    Asteroid City 70.    Nowhere 71.    The Angry Black Girl and Her Monster 72.    Divinity 73.    The Equalizer 3 74.    The Last Voyage of the Demeter 75.    Venus 76.    Butcher’s Crossing 77.    Somewhere in Queens 78.    The Persian Version 79.    Boston Strangler 80.    Polite Society 81.    Miguel Wants to Fight 82.    The Color Purple 83.    The Royal Hotel 84.    Saw X 85.    All of Us Strangers 86.    Fallen Leaves 87.    Ferrari 88.    Elemental 89.    Peter Pan & Wendy 90.    Renfield 91.    Cat Person 92.    Scream VI 93.    The Hunger Games: The Ballad of Songbirds & Snakes 94.    BS High 95.    Blue Beetle 96.    Huesera: The Bone Woman 97.    When Evil Lurks 98.    Dark Harvest 99.    A Good Person 100.    Final Cut 101.    Knock at the Cabin 102.    Quiz Lady 103.    Leo 104.    Air 105.    The Super Mario Bros. Movie 106.    Batman: The Doom That Came to Gotham 107.    John Wick: Chapter 4 108.    Beaten to Death 109.    The Wrath of Becky 110.    Passages 111.    Transformers: Rise of the Beasts 112.    Gran Turismo 113.    65 114.    Sick 115.    Sister Death 116.    The Blackening 117.    Please Don’t Destroy: The Treasure of Foggy Mountain 118.    Flamin’ Hot 119.    Nimona 120.    Cobweb 121.    Totally Killer 122.    What’s Love Got to Do with It? 123.     Sharper 124.    Unseen 125.    Dunki 126.    Bird Box Barcelona 127.    The Marvels 128.    Shazam! Fury of the Gods

Grade C

129.   Wildflower 130.    Freelance 131.    M3GAN 132.    Strays 133.    Sympathy for the Devil 134.    Creed III 135.    Chevalier 136.    The Marsh King’s Daughter 137.    A Haunting in Venice 138.    The Little Mermaid 139.    Silent Night 140.    Master Gardener 141.    The Flash 142.    Fast X 143.    The Pope’s Exorcist 144.    Saltburn 145.    Kandahar 146.    Stand 147.    Plane 148.   Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny 149.    Fingernails 150.    Quicksand 151.    Fool’s Paradise 152.    Migration 153.    Rustin 154.    The Covenant 155.    Good Burger 2 156.    The Pod Generation 157.    Alice, Darling 158.    Insidious: The Red Door 159.    Missing 160.    Shotgun Wedding 161.    You Hurt My Feelings 162.    The Boogeyman 163.    Showing Up 164.    Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom 165.    Champions 166.    Consecration 167.    The Nun II 168.    Biosphere 169.    House Party 170.    The Exorcist: Believer 171.    Big George Foreman 172.    Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves 173.    Children of the Corn 174.    The Beanie Bubble 175.    Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania

Grade F

176.    Anyone But You 177.    Marlowe 178.    Paint 179.    Extraction 2 180.    It Lives Inside 181.    Deliver Us 182.    Trolls Band Together 183.    Finestkind 184.    Corner Office 185.    Wish 186.    Prisoner’s Daughter 187.    Pain Hustlers 188.    Foe 189.    The Mother 190.    Old Dads 191.    Ghosted 192.    Ruby Gillman, Teenage Kraken 193.    Haunted Mansion 194.    Mafia Mamma 195.    Five Nights at Freddy’s 196.    The Machine 197.    Justice League: Warworld 198.    We Have a Ghost 199.    What Comes Around 200.    Legion of Super-Heroes 201.    The Boys in the Boat 202.    Attachment 203.    Operation Fortune: Ruse de Guerre 204.    About My Father 205.    You People 206.    Meg 2: The Trench 207.    Pathaan 208.    Rebel Moon - Part One: A Child of Fire 209.    Assassin 210.    Dalíland 211.    Vacation Friends 2

Bottom 10

212.    Sound of Freedom 213.    Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey 214.    When You Finish Saving The World 215.    Heart of Stone 216.    Family Switch 217.    Expend4bles 218.    Sweetwater 219.    Hypnotic 220.    80 for Brady 221.    Spinning Gold

[bahna001]

The Waffles Foundation INC. On WPIX News On 11/25/22 For "Giving Tuesday...

[specialmouse]

Hello, can you help me? I am injured as a result of the war of extermination that I am being subjected to in Gaza. My family and I, and my house were destroyed, and we live in a tent.😪🤮🤮😪

This gofundme has been vetted! Please reblog!

[ltcdrmaeveflynnabrams]

I mean, I'm an engineer?

That sounds like a stupid level of dangerous. I doubt it? I don't keep a lot of gadgets in my office. Most of that is at home.

Lady vampire you sound smart as hell.

I was just thinking about how fun it would be to ride a unicycle while juggling flaming swords. But your mounted sword sounds like a good start. Does it get jealous of all the gadgets in your office?

[angel-fruitcake]

How is it canon when it’s unrequited u make no sense whatsoever is it delusion or memes

first of all- 'unrequited' means distinctly not returned. Dean's stunned lack of response in the moment was not a rejection of Cas' feelings, and should not be considered as such. therefore, Destiel cannot be considered unrequited.

second of all- Cas' love for Dean has been confirmed many times on multiple different occasions, by both Misha and Jensen themselves, as well as Robert Berens, to be romantic love. that is not up for interpretation. based on that fact alone, it is canon. whether or not Dean's feelings are ever explicitly and/or verbally expressed does not change the fact that Castiel is canonically in love with Dean Winchester. that makes it c a n o n.

third of all- the fact that Dean's feelings have not yet been verbally confirmed is of very little consequence when compared to the monumental amount of very compelling evidence suggesting that he does, in fact, return Cas' feelings, even if Dean himself hadn't yet realized it at the time of the confession.

if you have watched this show and actually picked up on the frankly staggering amount of very clear context clues, it is quite obvious that, aside from his brother, Castiel is the most important person in Dean's life, full stop.

i don't have the patience right now to list every single instance that suggests Dean's feelings for Cas are mutual; there are far too many. but i will remind you of the most significant ones:

when Cas died in the s12 finale, Dean mourned that loss unlike he had done with any other character death up to that point in the series, and the way in which Dean grieved Cas was very purposefully portrayed in such an undeniably different way than how Sam grieved Cas. even the loss of his mother seemed to almost pale in comparison to the immense weight of Cas' sudden absence in Dean's life. Dean mourned Cas like a spouse rather than like a brother or family member; it is known as the 'widower arc' for a reason.

Dean was nearly suicidal up until the very moment he learned that Cas had come back. when Cas inevitably returned, the sudden change in Dean's demeanor was so immediately apparent and extreme, it gave Sam whiplash.

in the final seasons, Dean no longer showed much if any interest in having any romantic or sexual partners, a stark contrast to earlier seasons. the last committed relationship he had was with Lisa, which was quite a few years prior. this is in direct contrast to Sam, who had several romantic love interests over the course of the show (Jess, Madison, Ruby, Amelia, Eileen). the role of closest person to Dean other than Sam was always filled by Cas, the only difference being the lack of romantic label.

Dean and Cas' relationship has been directly paralleled in multiple different instances with canonically romantic couples, the most significant ones being: Sam and Jess, Cain and his wife Collette, John and Mary (during the widower arc), and Sam and Eileen in the final season.

additionally, directly following Cas being taken by the empty, Sam's attempts to call Dean were completely ignored, despite Dean knowing that his brother needed confirmation that he was alive. the sole thing occupying Dean's mind at that moment was Castiel; nothing else in the world mattered.

do you get it?