#c Starling
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wardingwatson-fr · 1 year ago
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Hello it's me, back from the dead. Here to share some bastards I made in a mix of HD and Not-So-HD resolution.
Love to hate these fuckers, they're something else.
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awkwardbirdsdreaming · 4 months ago
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Bird #29 - the Bali myna (CR)
Endemic to the province of Bali in Indonesia, this striking starling is endangered mostly due to poaching for the caged bird market. There is a large number of birds in captivity, so they won't go extinct anytime soon, but the wild population is estimated to be less than 100.
Have you ever noticed there's a lot of light-coloured birds with dark wing tips and tails? (Seagulls, terns, pelicans, long-tailed tits, etc...)
This is because feathers with melanin (a dark pigment) are more resistant to damage than feathers without pigment! The wing tips and tail are susceptible to being damaged while birds flap about, so these areas tend to have more melanin to protect them. Now if you see a bird with dark wings and tail you'll know why :)
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alexarrot · 3 months ago
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avoiding answering directly in a question
"if you were to write an essay, what theme would you choose?"
Well one that i like (obito uchiha), one that i love(dexter morgan) so much to the point in putting it on paper(deadpool), a theme that im passionate about (good omens) and that i like (hannibal).
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jaztice · 3 months ago
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IS THE PILGRIM UNDER STARS A CHANGED VERSION OF SIR CURRAN????? BRENNAN LEE FUCKING MULLIGAN I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU
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hauntedandmurdered · 1 year ago
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Let's get one thing straight.
I fall asleep thinking about Silence of the Lambs.
And the first thing I think of when waking up the next morning is Hannibal Lecter and Clarice Starling.
I don't know when it happened or how I crossed that line of sanity, but one half of my brain seems to have been taken over by a demon. I don't care. I'm living my best life.
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evillivesheree · 15 days ago
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" Yes, Clarice Starling that's me. " Clarice stood from where she was siting and slowly made her way through the crowd of people. Everyone looked at her and whispered to each other. Of course, Clarice knew what they were talking about. It wasn't hard to put it together. Everywhere she went all she heard was about the case that made her famous.
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Taking on Buffalo Bill and Hannibal Lecter made her very famous and everyone wanted her on their team. But Clarice wished that she could pulled that whole case behind her. Because yes it made her well known and very famous, but it also weighed heavy on her mind. There were times when she couldn't sleep or even eat because she feared that Hannibal Lecter was near by watching her every movement.
Her eyes lowered for a moment while she listened for the whispers to stop. "It's very nice to meet you." Clarice said softly while holding out her hand. "I hope that I can give some insight on things and help in any way I can."
----> @justicescreaming <3
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le-amewzing · 1 year ago
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in case of emergency
Bringing some overdue Jarling feels~ ;w; *Note: This is set directly after s2e3, "Dojo Mojo."
Fic: "in case of emergency" [FFN] [AO3]
Pairings/Characters: Starling/Jake Madden, Starling & Amy Madden (bkgd Amy/Hartley bc we gotta <3)
Rating: K+
Words: ~1,550
Additional info: romance, angst, friendship, 3rd person POV
Summary: When Starling receives a call from Valley View, her hopes soar and her heart sinks. And then she answers.
      Her butt buzzes barely a minute after she gets the cuffs on a would-be jewelry thief in Centropolis.
      The local police and even the thief stare at Starling with large, surprised eyes, but Starling slaps on her award-winning smile—which never fails to dazzle—and does a little curtsy with her cape. "Could be an emergency from Captain Valor," she suggests, as if all heroes touch base via cellphone and not by their powers or some other, high-tech means.
      The cops tip their hats in thanks to her and usher the young hero better get going then. The thief, at the mention of the leader of the League of Heroes, pales and goes quietly with the local LEOs instead.
      Starling, the moment attention is off her, darts up into the air and searches for a quiet, empty spot atop a roof—any building will do, but she needs privacy. And she finds it, behind a billboard they're in the process of switching over right now. Starling recognizes this billboard, even; her face was plastered across it last year when they launched her new sneaker line.
      In the shadow of the billboard, Starling catches her breath and pulls from a secret pocket at the back of her belt her cellphone. She knows it's unlikely to be any of the other heroes, and as for family—
      —but then she sees the area code, and her breath hitches.
      That's the Valley View area code.
      Starling hesitates for a second, but her desire to hear from Jake again beats out everything else, and she swipes to answer…what turns out to be a video call. Starling furrows her brow at the face on her screen. "You're not Jake."
      "Thank gods for that," Amy grouses. Her expression is flat, but there's a telltale twitch by her cheek; she so wants to roll her eyes right now.
      Starling frowns, both at Amy's persistent dislike for her older brother as well as for Jake's absence. She bites back an annoyed sigh and gets down to business. "I know you and I left things—well, we've agreed on being 'frenemies,' but." Starling twists her lips around. "When last I saw any of you, it was to assist you in taking out that Shadow girl. Don't tell me she's returned? Or is there someone worse in the picture?"
      Stunningly, Amy frowns, too. "No, it's not Shadow or any of the other villains."
      "If it's not, then I know this isn't a social call. And this better not be some ploy to let that crazy psycho stalker fan of mine you call a girlfriend talk my ear off. If you have this number saved instead of only memorized—"
      Amy reddens and shoots her a tiny glare. "She's not my—!" Then she pauses, takes a calming breath, and tries again. "Look, this is kind of serious, Starling."
      …uh-oh. To be this normal in a conversation and even use her actual name and not resort to name-calling, Amy's behavior only raises Starling's hackles.
      "It's about Jake."
      She tenses. "Is he all right? Is he hurt?" The hero holds her phone closer, trying to peek around Amy to catch a glimpse of the eldest Madden sibling to no avail. Judging by the punk-rock interior that matches her usual fashion sense, Amy's calling Starling at home from her bedroom.
      "He's physically fine." The villain pauses with a wince. "Well, okay, so. He's got a bruised ego and did end up with a few bruises from me, but he seriously needed to have his ass handed to him after how he's been."
      Starling pulls a face. Go figure only Havoc believes fighting fixes everything…
      Amy deflates with a sigh, though, looking much less like Havoc and a lot more like plain, ol' Amy as she continues, "…Starling, Jake's… He probably wouldn't admit it if you asked him, but he's incredibly lonely. And I'm calling because, much as I hate to admit it, he wasn't that way when you were around."
      Her words strike her, hard, harder than one of Havoc's punches in one of the last times they went head to head. Starling's shoulders sag, and she runs an unsteady hand through her hair. "Jake and I both agreed not to…" She can't even finish the reminder, because the thought's too hard to bear.
      A hard line appears when Amy clenches her jaw. She's probably heard the same words out of Jake's mouth a handful of times, too, but she doesn't care about that, and she doesn't care for Starling's reminder either, least of all when Amy spills the beans on precisely how bad it's been with Jake: from Starling's reformed villain love giving up on going good to turning into a jerk to pushing around a fellow classmate at a dojo and even, Amy shockingly admits, behaving in a way the past Amy would've condoned, by letting some of his powers leak into a real match in front of non-supers. "As I said, your boyfriend only came to his senses after I reminded him he was risking us all—and then I handed his ass to him on the mat."
      Starling purses her lips at Amy's bragging, because it's a little hard to believe, the idea of super-strong Jake losing to anyone, be it Amy or this Milo kid, but Starling can see the point Amy tries to make. "We can't," she says lamely.
      "I know that's the very 'grown-up' promise the two of you made, to try to protect everyone involved. But are you really going to tell me you haven't broken that no-contact rule a few times already?"
      "…it's…been a while," Starling admits.
      Amy doesn't smirk; she's too tired to do anything but give the tiniest of triumphant nods. "Thought so. Look, I… I don't know what you two are to each other right now or what you plan to be in the future, but I know that you were friends first, before other feelings entered the picture." She pauses here, waiting to catch Starling's eye.
      When Starling meets her gaze, the girls share a look of understanding. "It can be hard when other feelings do," Starling confesses with a small chuckle.
      Finally Amy rolls her eyes. "Tell me about it." As if on cue, a familiar "Amy~!" comes tromping up the stairs outside her room, and Amy turns as red as her Havoc costume. "Uh. Gotta cut this short before she sees you—"
      "Yes, please!"
      "But, Starling—" Amy narrows her eyes at the hero, on the verge of glaring. "He's hit rock bottom. Normally I'd say let him stay there…"
      "No, I hear you loud and clear, Amy."
      "Hi, Amy! Oh, mY GODS, IS THAT STA—" Amy drops her phone as Hartley tackles her, but the line disconnects a second later; one can only wish that Amy can wipe the call history before Hartley can copy the number down…!
      With one call ended, Starling stares at her phone in hand, debating starting a second.
      Amy has a point, especially if Jake's shenanigans at the karate dojo are true… But would Starling calling him now be helping him, or rewarding him? Is Jake going to turn good again, with her…or is he better off without her, working towards these goals on his own?
      Like with Amy's number, Starling doesn't have Jake's saved (not anymore, that is), but she does have it committed to memory, and she caves to entering the number in the appropriate field in Messages. Then, when prompted, Starling has the chance to send him something, anything.
      The only thing is, now that she could reach out, her thumbs freeze over her digital keyboard, at a loss for the right words.
      And, really, Starling knows there are no right words for right now. Not for the gigantic pause they've put on them, and not for Amy blabbing about his behavior. Not that Starling approves of how Jake handled himself or that it took that much cajoling and interference from Amy before his bubble was burst, but Starling knows how it feels. There are some days where she'd much rather get a little rough, a little villainous even, with a villain than simply hand over a thief without powers to the cops.
      So if there are no words, then what to say…?
      That's when it hits her, the miracle of smartphones, and she smiles to herself as she reminisces of old text chats filled with nothing but emojis between the two of them. Starling settles on sending Jake a single sloth emoji—he'll know when he sees it, that she's encouraging him, saying, Hang in there—and she watches her screen for a full two minutes until that "Delivered" underneath her message changes to "Read."
      Starling breathes a sigh of relief, and she daydreams of a world where she's not a hero and he's not a villain or maybe none of this even matters anymore…
      But then her phone rings. And her breath hitches.
      It's the Valley View area code, and it's not Amy calling.
      Starling chews on her lower lip, because she knows Amy has a point, about breaking the rules occasionally, but rule-breaking leads to this, and this Starling can't handle…so her phone rings.
      And it rings.
      And it rings.
      And it rings.
      And it rings.
      And it rings….
Gotta love me some Jarling angst! 8D Esp when you consider I'm a Cloneling fangirl, are any of you even surprised by now? (Altho tbqh I just feel that Hartmy gives us all the positive warm&fuzzies, so therefore Jarling must be aNGSTTTTT. XD) ANYWHO. I hafta say, it was hard watching that ep, seeing Jake just…not be himself; as mentioned in the fic, he echoed what early/pre-Hartley!Amy was like, and it was so sad. But I think Amy makes a great point, too, that before Jarling happened, Jake and Starling were likely friends first, so Jake losing touch with p much the one person he's close with…it actually made some sense for the writers to go this direction, having him act out. But I LOVED seeing current Amy, who's grown bc Hartley has clearly rubbed off on her -w-, being the one primarily to rein him in. Milo was also more palatable in this ep, *lol*. But yeah. I just. My first thought after this ep was, "What would Starling think if she saw you like this, Jake?!" Hence also Starling worrying about rewarding his bad behavior…but also admitting to herself that she wants to lash out, too, sometimes (I could see it). GAH. I want more Starling in this season…! Dx Altho funnily enough, writing this gave me a new Cloneling idea, oops. Random notes: "local LEOs"—a "LEO" is just "law-enforcement officer," for anyone who doesn't know (I watch a looot of procedurals); I included some Amy swearing bc Disney is too G-rated and we all know Amy swears XDDD; and! AND! Starling waiting for two minutes at the end is a nod to my 1st Jarling fic, "Two Minutes for Two." uwu (Go read if you haven't already~)
Thanks for reading, and feel free to leave an anon/unsigned review via the FFN link or comment via the AO3 link at the top of the post, especially if you enjoyed this!
~mew
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wadecalhoun · 1 year ago
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          a gift for @emorystarling​,
notes: is that a knife in your pocket that parallels with my narrative demise or are you just happy to see me
location: emory’s apartment
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          He’s fairly horrendous at keeping things cool and acting nonchalant, ever since they both strolled off in the woods and Emory all but blatantly hinted at his woes, Wade had been suspicious. It’d been easy to slip away, lost in the responsibilities of The Eye and his respective troubles that had since arose with the fey, but eventually, as it seemed, Emory had come calling. The Archer settled down on the ivory cloth of Emory’s couch, nestled back into the plush fabric despite the way his heart instinctively raced; he’d been friends with one of the very same creatures he purposefully hunted down. He wondered if it’d been this entire time, the entire length of their friendship, perhaps it had been Emory who had trapped the demon low within the depths of the mines and he’d been coming to check on his work. No, as paranoid as Wade had become since discovering the supernatural he’d not destroy his friendship on assumptions. “So, I don’t think I saw you at Mercuralia,” that’s a good start, it’s a leeway to his desired line of inevitable questioning but it keeps it overtly casual.
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frightesa · 1 year ago
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to say clarice was surprised fin had any funding would be an understatement. although after pursuing the star wars program during the reagan administration she supposed anything was possible. crazier things had happened, at least in this case, the person in charge was competent, friendly, and most importantly indulges clarice's tendency for takeout. she tucked a curl behind her ear as she entered the quietest part of the office. she's created a makeshift desk down here - it was nicer that way.
"aliens today? bigfoot?" there's a teasing lilt to her voice, pushing over an assortment of doughnuts as a method of bribery. "i'm finally going to be out in the field with you and want to know what i'm in for." they both know she wasn't a believer in the abnormal, or unnatural beings fin was so fascinated with. that didn't mean that she couldn't be a second pair of eyes for him though. she reached to grab one of the old fashioned doughnuts, breaking into smaller pieces before eating it. "where do we start?" @huntedvideo // s.c.
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staryflowers · 2 months ago
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splendid starling 4 u (ic: antoon de vylder)
:O WOAH! LOOK AT THEY!! THANK YOU TERRIN MUTUAL AND GRANDPA IRIDESCENCE!!!
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brainrottingg · 1 year ago
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Jade: Stryker and I went ice skating today.
Darlin: ...Did she fall down?
Jade: A lot. It was like watching Bambi.
Darlin: Do you have pictures?
Jade, rolls eyes: I'm not an amateur, Darlin. Trade you for pics of Sunshine?
Darlin, considering: Deal. We just went to the zoo yesterday, so I've got a lot of new ones.
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pierrotts · 1 year ago
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𝐁𝐋𝐀𝐊𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆:
butterfly baby. always the star of the show. constantly moving, constantly creating. she's always changing. built of pieces of everyone she's ever known. takes too much to heart ⸺ takes everything personally. lives off of energy drinks and spite.
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chosok-amo · 3 months ago
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SLIPPING THROUGH MY FINGERS: GOJO SATORU, GETO SUGURU
“suguru, help!” he sounds, pathetic. gojo satoru is a pathetic man when it comes to you. “ . . . there are so many kisses to have, soul and bone for you to crash and swear that how stars are born, so please. . ., believe me, you have to believe me,” he cries, holding your hands, begging for you to love him— love him enough to stay.
warning : age-up! satosugu, depressed! fem x reader, drug mention, trauma mention, suicide, self-harm, death mention, drowning, blood, heavy angst.
w/c : 6,2k | [☆] MASTERLIST
𝜗𝜚 . . . . i had to stop so often writing this because i can't stop crying and think that i shouldn't continue because it hurts me so bad that i have to take a cold shower and think about my life. and honestly, i wasn't supposed to write the last part but yeah..
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A MINUTES AFTER YOU TRY TO KILL YOURSELF
it was too quiet. . .
gojo satoru never screams so loud in his entire life, so loud. . . the world shaking beneath his feet, ready to swallow him whole and rotten. so loud . . . he sure he can no longer hear. he ran, slipping on his way until he broke his knee on the puddle of the red, transparent liquid that spill from the bath-up.
the starling sigh, you were there. . .
“no, no, no, baby— no.”
the water, tinged with a haunting crimson, surged and overflowed, cascading into the bathroom with relentless force. it climbed steadily up gojo's legs, as if the liquid itself sought to ensnare him, to drag him down into its suffocating embrace, or just. . . mock him.
a dark mockery that seemed to whisper that it alone held the power to drown him, to swallow your trembling breaths and the last echoes of your voice. it wasn’t him, or geto suguru who was to be your executioner, but the merciless water, eager to claim your final, stutter breath.
“i-i —sorry, i’m sorry..” you stammered.
your voice stammered between choke, barely a murmur beneath the frothy waves, struggled to be heard amidst the tumult. your eyes, devoid of warmth, reflected a chilling detachment. the coldness in your gaze was almost tangible, a stark contrast to the chaotic, drowning world around you.
“suguru, help!” he sounds, pathetic.
gojo, even on the verge of your death is still so gentle, as if he's afraid you are going to die than you already are. dropping on his knees as he tries to pull your warm bodies out of the bath-up.
gojo shook his head, a soft whisper escaping from his trembling lips, “shhh, it's alright baby, it's alright, you're alright,” his mumble, each word a fragile promise against the storm of his own emotions— words and voice shaking, his bones and soul shivering. his strong arm wraps around your body, pulling you closer to his chest, feeling everything, even as his flesh trembling.
tears cascaded from the corner of your eyes, tracing silken paths down your skin, while his embrace, though trembling, sought to cradle and calm you, a sanctuary against the turbulence of your anguish.
“suguru, please help!” again, this time he shouted.
geto runs upon hearing the horror howling, and his purple irises about to peel from his face and his lungs lose air— ragged gasps, as if each inhale were stolen from him. the scene before him struck with a painful clarity: you nestled within gojo’s embrace, your body wracked with distress.
foaming at the mouth, you appeared trapped in a tormenting grip of anguish, while the open scars on your wrist bled stories of suffering and desperation. in that moment, the sight was both heart-wrenching and surreal, a vivid tableau of fear and pain, painted across the canvas of his deepest fears.
“i'm sorry— i-i'm so sorry,” you whisper between choking gasps as geto kneels beside you and your body shaking. tears cascade uncontrollably, each dropping a shimmering testament to a sudden, overwhelming regret. it is as though a profound realization has swept over you, too late to mend the wounds that have been inflicted.
the regret feels like a bitter aftertaste of the sorrow you can no longer escape. the eyes of those around you, trembling with the weight of their own anguish, are bloodshot and haunting, mirroring the crimson that flows from your wrist. in that agonizing moment, the world feels irrevocably broken, and the fleeting desire to be alive seems like a distant, unreachable dream.
they burst from the bathroom, gojo's arms wrapped tightly around you as he dashes through the chaos. your lifeless feet and hands dangle, a heavy, haunting reminder of the blood seeping steadily onto the floor. each drop forms a macabre trail, like the relentless shadow of death that clings to you, a grim companion refusing to let go.
the crimson stains splatter and pool in your wake, an anguished testament to the finality that now seems inevitable— each red stain on the ground is a haunting reminder, a stark declaration. as they run, the blood's mournful descent weaves a sorrowful narrative of moments slipping away, each drop a poignant echo of what might have been, a stark and unyielding declaration that time has run out, that it is too late.
and suddenly, everything feels like a slow motion.
6 HOUR AFTER YOU TRY TO KILL YOURSELF
the doctor spoke with a grave tone, his words laced with concern. “it appears,” he began, looking at gojo who's just sitting there with his eyes focusing on the floor, meanwhile geto standing beside him. “that she intentionally tried to overdose. we've had to act swiftly to pump the substances from her body, working to counteract the severe effects of her actions.”
geto's hand gently gripping on gojo's shoulder as they listen. his expression was one of solemn seriousness, reflecting the urgency and gravity of the situation. “we've done everything we can to stabilize her, but it's crucial that you two understand the seriousness of what she has done. this was a life-threatening situation, and we're only beginning to address the underlying issues that led to this crisis.”
the doctor continued, his voice carrying a mix of relief and concern. “fortunately, the cut on her wrist wasn't too deep,” he said, his eyes scanning the notes before them. “it seems that the severity of the injury was somewhat mitigated by her weakened state from the drugs. if she had been stronger, the outcome might have been different.”
his tone softened, acknowledging the fragile balance between the danger of the overdose and the mitigating effects of your physical condition. “we've managed to address the immediate threats, but it's crucial to understand that this is a serious wake-up call. we need to work on her recovery and the emotional struggles that led to this moment.”
if she had been stronger, the outcome might have been different,’ the words echoed repeatedly, hauntingly through the air, like a broken record stuck on a painful refrain. once, twice, three times, they reverberated through their minds, each repetition a stark reminder of how close they came to losing you, how dangerously close the edge of despair was.
even the notion of ‘almost’ carried a weight too immense to bear, a heavy presence that pressed down on their hearts. the silence that followed was thick with unspoken guilt and anguish; none of them could find the words to bridge the chasm of their shared grief. they avoided each other's gaze, unable to escape the silent blame that hung heavy between them, a suffocating testament to their collective sense of failure.
gojo stared at his hands through the thin veil of his blindfold, his fingers trembling as they traced the dried blood staining his pale skin. the sight of it was a brutal reminder of you. with a strained effort, he clenched his hands tightly, hoping to meld the dried blood with his own, as if to erase the haunting evidence of what had transpired— his last hope trying to be with you.
each breath felt like a desperate gasp, a small gap forming between his lips as he struggled to draw in air. the sensation of suffocation gripped him, a relentless pressure squeezing his chest, making each inhale a battle. despite his efforts, the air seemed insufficient, leaving him feeling as though he were on the precipice of life, teetering on the brink of an abyss that threatened to swallow him whole.
geto felt an overwhelming tide of guilt and anguish, a heavy weight pressing down on his heart. the scene that unfolded before him replayed in his mind like a relentless, agonizing loop, hunting him down like he is some kind of a fucking prey. he was haunted by the sight of your suffering, the image of your blood-streaked hands and the anguished cries that pierced the air. each moment of his own reflection, seeing the remnants of your blood on his skin and his white shirt, deepened his torment.
the sense of responsibility gnawed at him, a constant reminder of how close he came to losing you. he felt suffocated by a profound sorrow and helplessness, as if the very air around him was too thick, leaving him gasping for breath— like the death itself pointing its ugly fucking finger to his face and laugh at him, at them.
what a fucking pathetic man’ the death must be said.
the weight of the situation settled heavily on his shoulders, and the silence between him and his companions only amplified his inner turmoil. the unspoken blame and the aching realization that he couldn't undo what had happened created a chasm of despair within him, making each moment feel like an eternity of unbearable remorse.
both of them are buried in profound sea of grief, guilt, shame because a thousand moments with you that they take for granted— shame, for thinking, assume that there would be a thousand more. is it too selfish to be here?’ they thought.
that curse must be laughing at them, the higher-ups, everyone— pointing their finger from all directions. look at them, ’ they thought, those two who called themselves the strongest can even save a single soul,’ again they must be laughing, let alone a soul who is to be called the love of their life.
but nobody knows, none, not even a single soul that, oh, how your presence evokes such selflessness in them— even amid their silent, tormented reflections. they are consumed by an incessant questioning of the selfishness of their own sorrow, wondering if it is wrong to cling to their grief while you teeter on the precipice of loss.
the haunting thought persists, a cruel reminder of time's fragile nature and the profound depth of their remorse. in their heartache, they are acutely aware of the contrast between their own suffering and the delicate balance of your existence, each moment of their anguish a poignant testament to the sorrow they feel for having taken so much for granted.
is it okay to feel sad? ’ they thought.
even the very sensation of sadness and grief feels like an indulgence they do not deserve. i can't even protect her, what rights do i fucking deserve to be sad?’ they thought. to them, these emotions seem an opulent luxury, an extravagant gift they are not entitled to. in their hearts, the depth of their sorrow feels almost excessive, a poignant reminder of how their suffering pales in comparison to the magnitude of the almost loss they face.
each wave of grief feels like a grand, unwelcome opulence, an unjust reward for the pain they have caused and the moments they have squandered. the luxury of their sadness seems a cruel irony, a stark contrast to the profound emptiness of the reality they must now confront.
people passing by in front of them, throwing them a glance or two. seeing their red eyes and tears-stain cheeks, blood in their hands, in shirts, in pants, in their soul, laid bare. everyone wants to give them both a pat on the back, telling them that they are good at handling grief; howling, crying, and blaming each other. that's the proper way to handle grief.
18 HOUR AFTER YOU TRY TO KILL YOURSELF
your hands are warm, a stark contrast to the pallor of your pink lips, which have lost their vibrant hue, your eyes open still so retain their gentle softness, a quiet testament to the grace you still hold.
as you lie upon the hospital bed, draped in the drab, floral-patterned gown that clings to you, it feels woefully inadequate. the gown, mundane and worn, seems too insipid and shabby to encompass your beauty, too faded and forlorn.
“i'm sorry. . .” you mumble.
you can’t bring yourself to look at them as they sit beside your bed, their eyes red and swollen from sleepless nights, their uniforms crumpled and disheveled, their hair falling in untamed disarray. their faces have lost their vibrant hue, a stark contrast to their usual vitality.
gojo satoru’s once-brilliant blue eyes, which used to shimmer with an unyielding light, now seem dull and lifeless, even when the golden sunlight spills over them. the sunlight, which once might have enhanced the beauty of his gaze with its warm orange tones, now only serves to highlight the emptiness that has replaced his once-sparkling eyes— it's dull, it's dull, it is fucking dull.
geto suguru's strikingly handsome face is graced with a smile, tender and achingly gentle, as though he is pouring all his effort into offering you a sliver of solace. his lips tremble with a subtle quiver, betraying the deep sadness that lingers beneath his calm exterior. his once-vibrant purple irises have dimmed, their former brilliance faded to a shadow of their former selves.
you fear that they might darken further, losing their hue altogether, slipping into a void of despair where even color seems to vanish. the sight of his sorrowful eyes, so devoid of their usual spark, reflects a profound sadness that pierces the heart, a silent testament to the emotional toll of the moment.
oh, what i have done. . .’ you thought.
“don't, please don't,” gojo pleads, his voice trembling as he clasps your unharmed hand with a desperate grip. his blindfold has been removed, revealing eyes that are filled with raw, unfiltered emotion as he gazes at you. beside him, geto's hand rests gently at the back of your head, his touch tender and soothing. he caresses your hair with a featherlight motion, his thumb brushing softly over your scalp.
“we are so sorry for taking you for granted,” he murmurs, the words heavy with regret and sorrow. “we are sorry for offering you only a lukewarm love, when you deserved a love that was fierce and all-consuming, a love that burned brightly and fiercely. i'm sorry,” his voice wavers, each word an echo of their deep remorse, as they both grapple with the weight of their unspoken apologies and the profound realization of what they failed to give you.
they do not seek to question why your soul bleeds, nor do they dare to unravel the dark tapestry of your pain. the blood, flowing with a steady, silent, and disturbingly deliberate pace, engulfs you in its relentless embrace. it seeps into every corner of your being, a somber tide that threatens to consume you entirely.
they find themselves unable to confront this harrowing reality, their hearts too burdened to bear the weight of such a painful inquiry. the sight of your suffering leaves them paralyzed, unable to utter the questions that linger in their minds, as they grapple with the profound helplessness of watching you slowly succumb to the encroaching shadows.
“i love you, baby,” gojo whispers, “i'm sorry that you're in so much pain so to think death is the only salvation,” he stopped for a second, cocooning your hand with his large one before resting his cheek against. “i'm sorry i didn't notice your rage for the world and too busy loving you. does my love scare you, love? that's why you decided to leave, hm?” his voice shaking, lips quivering.
“if you are angry, stab me a little so you can feel better, make it hurt, i don't care. a little suffering would be worth it if it's by your hands, by your pretty little hands,” he murmured against your skin, his breath a warm whisper that sent shivers across your body. each word was a soft plea, wrapped in a tone that trembled with both desperation and tenderness.
his trembling lips pressed gently against your hand, each kissing a fleeting starburst of warmth against your cool skin. him— no they, stood ready to endure your pain, inviting you to inflict upon them the hurt you felt.
they stand poised to let you sink your teeth into them, to delve into their very flesh. to let you open them up, laid bare and vulnerable, just to offer you a chance to heal. just so they can love you a little too much, starving even— like a flesh begging to be knitting together over a wound. ruin me, ruin us, and we will let you.
“i love you, i love you, i love you,” he gave you stars in each between. they fucking love you like a rotten dog. “believe me when i said this. . . there are so many kisses to have, soul and bone for you to crash and swear that how stars are born, so please. . ., believe me, you have to believe me,” he cries, holding your hands, begging for you to love him— love him enough to stay, “we love you.”
he finally said we’ geto thought.
at first glance, people might assume that geto suguru’s love for you surpasses that of gojo satoru, that his love is somehow greater. yet, the truth remains that it has always been gojo satoru who harbors the most profound and boundless love for you from the very beginning. his love is vast, immense, and utterly astonishing, stretching beyond the horizons of understanding.
gojo’s devotion is a vast expanse, a love so deep and wide that it seems to defy the very limits of emotion. even geto suguru, who himself is capable of immense love, finds himself awestruck and somewhat intimidated by the sheer magnitude of gojo’s feelings. no one can truly grasp the depth of gojo’s love—not even gojo himself—such is the overwhelming, almost incomprehensible nature of his heart’s boundless devotion to you.
and sometimes it scares the shit out of geto.
but maybe, just maybe, they have a little too much love for you more than for each other, even more than for themselves— as if you make a space in their ribs, and call it home country.
30 HOUR AFTER YOU TRY TO KILL YOURSELF
geto stirred from a restless sleep, his head resting gently against your hospital bed, nestled close to your side. as he slowly opened his eyes, he was met with the soft, gentle sight of you gazing at him, a faint, tender smile gracing your lips. the serene moment, bathed in the quiet of the hospital room, brought a flicker of warmth to his weary heart, a small but profound comfort amid the lingering shadows of their shared sorrow.
“hey sunshine,” geto whispered in a hoarse croak, reaching a hand to brush your hair away from your face, “how long have you been awake?”
“long enough to notice the dark circles under your eyes and the tear stains on your cheeks,” you replied softly, your fingers brushing gently against his cheek, your thumb tenderly caressing the worn skin. geto hummed, his hand capturing yours and guiding your palm to his lips, where he planted a gentle kiss.
the touch of your skin was like a salve, soothing the ache in his weary soul. he chuckled weakly. his eyes were tired and his skin pale, but your touch made him feel alive. “you’re too observant for your own good,” he teased, his lips curving into a weary smile.
geto shifted in his chair, wincing slightly as his body protested the movement. he settled into a more comfortable position, still holding your hand in his, his thumb tracing soothing circles on the back of your knuckles.
he studied your face, taking in every detail, from the delicate flutter of your eyelashes to the subtle flush in your cheeks. the sight of you, even in this vulnerable state, filled his heart with a mixture of tenderness and protectiveness.
“how are you feeling?” he asked, his voice low and gentle, his gaze fixed on your face. he knew it was a question he had asked before, but he couldn’t help himself. he needed to hear you speak, hear your voice, just to reassure himself that you were still with him.
“like shit,” you answer.
your hand is still gently cupping his cheek, thumb running low across his skin in a loving manner. at your blunt response, geto's lip curled into a soft smile. even in your weakened state, you still had a defiant spark.
he leaned into your touch, his eyes closing briefly as he savored the sensation. “i thought we agreed no profanity,” he teased, his voice laced with affectionate humor, opening his eyes to meet your gaze. he turned his head slightly, his lips brushing against the palm of your hand in a tender kiss.
“you’ve always been a bad influence on me,” he murmured against your skin, his breath warm and ticklish. he chuckled softly, his eyes softening as he studied your face.
he took a moment to compose his words, his expression growing serious. “there was a moment,” he began, his voice a hoarse whisper, “a moment when i thought i lost you.”
your smile faltered, and your eyes softened with concern as you listened to the gravity in his voice. you reached up to gently touch his cheek again, your thumb brushing away the remnants of his sadness.
��i’m here now,” you whispered, your voice steady but filled with warmth. “you haven’t lost me.” you looked deeply into his eyes, trying to convey with your gaze the depth of your presence and the promise of your unwavering support. “and i’m not going anywhere,” you added softly, hoping to soothe the lingering fear in his heart.
his hand covers yours, holding it against his cheek as he closes his eyes, relishing in your soothing touch. for a moment, he just allows himself to bask in your presence, letting the warmth and comfort wash over him.
“i was afraid i wouldn’t get to hear you say that,” he murmured, his voice growing thicker with emotion. he opened his eyes, the raw vulnerability in his gaze bared to you, his heart laid bare.
your heart ached at the sight of his vulnerability. you gently squeezed his hand, your voice trembling with sincerity as you spoke. “i’m so sorry,” you said softly, your eyes filled with compassion.
geto’s thumb traced gentle, small circles on the back of your hand. “you have nothing to apologize for,” he assured you, his grip on your hand tightening slightly. “it was my responsibility to keep you safe, and i failed.”
the guilt and regret in his voice were palpable, the weight of his self-imposed responsibility clear. he lowered his gaze, wrestling with emotions that were etched deeply into every line of his weary face.
he lifted your hand from his cheek, bringing it to his lips and pressing a lingering kiss against your knuckles, his gaze never leaving yours. “i just need you to know how much you mean to me,” he added, his voice cracking slightly. his grip on your hand tightened, as if he was holding onto you for dear life.
geto’s lips continued to brush against your knuckles as he spoke, soft and gentle. his eyes held yours captive, the depth of his affection bared for you to see.
“you are my everything,” he confessed, his voice hoarse with the weight of his honesty. “the thought of losing you, of living in a world where you don’t exist…” he trailed off, a pained expression crossing his features. he was torn between the love that engulfed his heart and the fear that threatened to consume him.
geto drew in a shaky breath, composing himself as best he could. he lifted his gaze from your hand, meeting your eyes once again. his expression held a mixture of love and devotion, but also a hint of desperation.
“i need you to know that no matter what, i will do everything in my power to protect you,” he vowed, his voice steady despite the turbulent emotions raging within him. “not just because it’s my duty, but because i love you more than i thought it was possible to love someone.”
you met his gaze with a warm, reassuring smile, the depth of your gratitude shining through. “thank you,” you said softly, your voice imbued with genuine appreciation. your smile was a reflection of the profound comfort and reassurance you felt, a silent promise to stand together through whatever lay ahead.
geto’s eyes softened at your smile, a flicker of relief passing over his weary face. he squeezed your hand gently, his touch both appreciative and protective.
he studied your face for a moment, his gaze lingering on each contour, each freckle and line, as if to further commit them to memory. “don’t scare me like that again,” he murmured, mostly in jest, but with an underlying current of seriousness.
gojo entered the room, his expression a mix of relief and lingering concern as he carried a bag of your belongings. upon seeing the tender moment between you and geto, his eyes softened, though they carried a hint of the exhaustion and worry that had shadowed him. he set the bag down and approached, took a sit at the edge on the other side of your bed, his voice catching slightly as he spoke.
“don’t scare me like that again too,” he said, his tone gentle but tinged with the weight of his emotions. his gaze met yours with a blend of earnestness and relief. “i know suguru’s been holding on tight, but i’ve been right here, too. seeing you like this... it’s been hard on all of us. please, don't leave us.” his words were a heartfelt plea, an echo of the concern and love he carried for you, a testament to the depth of his feelings and the strength of his devotion.
geto’s grip on your hand tightened momentarily at the sound of gojo’s voice, his eyes darting towards his best friend. he could hear the exhaustion and worry that laced gojo’s words and knew all-too-well the weight of the responsibility they shared.
he turned his gaze back to you, his expression a mix of worry and relief. his thumb resumed its gentle, soothing circles on the back of your hand. “yeah,” he said in agreement, his voice gruff with emotion. “please, don’t scare us like that again.”
gojo’s presence brought with it a sense of familiarity, a comfort that was both grounding and reassuring. he reached out and placed a gentle hand on your arm, his touch a silent expression of his affection and concern.
he studied your face, his eyes tracing every contour, every line, as if to commit the sight to memory. “how are you feeling?” he asked, his voice softer now, though still tinged with worry. “i wanna say like shit but suguru said no profanity,” you puff a little chuckle.
geto gives a little scoff at your comment, his expression laced with a mixture of annoyance and affection. he rolls his eyes playfully and mutters, “you’re such a bad influence.”
gojo’s lips curled into a small smirk before he turned his gaze back to you, the lines around his eyes creasing with a mix of amusement and relief. “can’t have you talking like that,” he teased, his words light but carrying a hint of genuine concern.
gojo studying your face carefully before speaking ever so softly, “well, apart from the obviously crappy mood geto’s been in, you look good. your color is better.” he noticed a faint crimson crushed on your cheeks, a little pink on your lips.
he reached his hand out to smooth a strand of hair away from your forehead, his touch light and tender. his gaze wandered from your face to where geto still held your hand, his eyes reflecting a subtle hint of appreciation.
geto watched gojo's gentle touch, his grip on your hand unconsciously tightening a little bit in response. his expression was a mixture of protectiveness and vulnerability, his eyes betraying the fear and worry that still tugged at his heart.
he took the moment to observe the soft interplay of emotions between you and gojo, the easy familiarity and the deep bond that existed between you all. he could sense the weight of gojo's concern as he studied your face, the care and attention in his touch.
gojo's voice was soft as he continued, his gaze still fixed on your face. “so, how are you feeling, for real?” he asked, his tone a gentle echo of geto's earlier question. “any pain? any discomfort?”
geto looked at you, his eyes silently pleading for you to be honest. he was hanging off your every word, each response a small insight into your well-being.
you took a deep breath, feeling the weight of their concern pressing down on you. meeting gojo’s gentle gaze and then turning to geto’s silent plea, you spoke with a mixture of remorse and honesty. “i’m sorry,” you began, your voice trembling slightly. “i’m sorry for how i handled things. i know i should have talked to you both, but i didn’t—i tried to take matters into my own hands without thinking it through first.”
your eyes reflected a deep sense of shame and regret as you continued. “i actually feel like absolute shit right now, and i’m ashamed of myself for thinking i could find a quick solution without considering the impact it would have on you both.” you looked at them, hoping your words conveyed the depth of your remorse and the sincerity of your apology, wanting them to understand that your actions were not a reflection of your feelings for them, but rather a moment of misguided desperation.
gojo's expression softened with understanding, his eyes filled with compassion. he knew the weight of your words, the regret and shame that clung to them. he reached his hand back to your arm, his touch gentle and reassuring.
geto's gaze was a mix of surprise and relief as he processed your apology. his hand around yours tightened slightly, his thumb tracing reassuring circles on your skin. “it's okay,” he said, his voice hoarse with emotion. “we all have moments of weakness. what matters is that you're here, safe and alive.”
you felt a wave of gratitude wash over you at their responses, their understanding and compassion a balm to your wounded spirit. “thank you,” you said softly, your voice thick with emotion. “thank you for not being angry with me and for not questioning me right away. i know i made a terrible mistake, and i’m grateful you’re here, supporting me instead of condemning me.”
geto's grip on your hand tightened slightly, his eyes filled with a complex mixture of emotions— relief, love, and a hint of lingering fear. he shook his head gently, a reassuring smile on his lips.
gojo chuckled softly, his eyes filled with a mixture of compassion and playfulness. “we can save the anger and lecturing for when you’re not looking so terrible,” he joked, a wry smile playing at the corners of his mouth. “and trust me, baby, i had a lot of choice colorful words for you when the right time comes,” he lean in to kiss your forehead, “but right now, we just trying to be here for you.”
geto nodded in agreement, his grip on your hand still tight. he couldn’t help but roll his eyes a bit at gojo's playfulness, but there was a hint of fondness beneath the feigned annoyance.
he leaned in, reaching out with his other hand to gently brush a strand of hair off your forehead. “you are a stubborn, reckless, and stubborn pain in the ass,” he scolded lightly, his tone a soft but affectionate mix.
gojo chuckled, his eyes crinkling at the corners with humor. he settled himself closer, his hand still resting lightly on your arm. “he's right, you know,” he chimed in, his smile wide. “you're very good at pushing our buttons and getting under our skin.”
geto's lips curled into a small smile, his expression a mixture of feigned anger and affection. “and you're even better at making us worry,” he added, his tone light but underlined with the gravity of their concern. “but we care about you more than anything,” he added, his gaze softening as he looked at you. “so you better not do something like that again, you hear me?” his voice held a hint of authority, but mostly it was filled with love and concern.
geto's smile grew a bit wider, his eyes crinkling endearingly at the corners. “yeah,” he said, his voice firm. “you better listen. we don’t need anymore of these near-death experiences from you.”
gojo chimed in enthusiastically, leaning in a bit closer. “yeah, cause let me tell you, i can’t handle any more gray hairs than i already have.”
geto's grip on your hand tightened again, his expression a mix of sternness and vulnerability. he looked at you intently, his gaze locking with yours. “he's right,” he echoed, his voice firm but filled with warmth and care. “no more reckless decisions. no more putting yourself in danger. you hear us, my love?”
gojo nodded in agreement, his expression serious but eyes softened with concern. he added, “yeah, we can't keep having our hearts in our throats like this. it's not good for our health, you know.” geto's hand caressed your arm gently, a silent plea for your understanding. “we just want you safe and sound. that’s all we ask.”
a hint of vulnerability flashed across geto's face, his expression betraying the weight of his words. he locked eyes with you, his gaze filled with a mixture of pleading and sincerity.
“we just want to know that you're safe,” he said softly, his voice barely above a whisper. “that you're not recklessly endangering yourself anymore.”
gojo leaned in closer, his hand resting on your arm lightly. “we can't bear the thought of something happening to you again,” he chimed in, his tone carrying an undercurrent of worry.
they continued to exchange tender words and earnest pleas, their voices overlapping in a chorus of concern and affection. each spoke fervently about their love and the lengths they would go to ensure your safety and happiness. their words, though filled with their own fears and frustrations, were underscored by a deep, unwavering care for you.
as you watched them, a soft smile touched your lips. their earnest devotion, their refusal to let you face this alone, filled you with a profound sense of comfort and gratitude. you could see their love in every gesture and hear it in every word, and it warmed your heart. despite the gravity of the situation, their caring presence made you feel cherished and supported, giving you strength even in the midst of your own turmoil.
after a few moments of their heartfelt declarations, the room fell into a short silence, the weight of their words lingering in the air.
gojo ran a hand through his hair, a gesture of nervous energy. “and just so you know, suguru here basically took a week off work to sit by your bedside like a damn watchdog, he even almost made the rainbow dragon eat gakuganji because that fucker won't let him leave.” geto, caught off guard by the sudden revelation, flushed faintly and shot a glare at gojo.
geto, taken aback, shot a sharp look at gojo before retort, “you clearly about to hollow purple the higher-ups and the entire school because they won't let you stay here with her.” gojo's expression darkened for a moment, “you know i would do it in a heartbeat, if i could.” geto's grip on your hand tightened, his gaze still fixed on gojo. “i know you would. and i'd be right there with you.”
gojo and geto turned their attention back to you when they heard your soft chuckling, their expressions a mix of relief and amusement at hearing you laugh.
gojo chuckled as well, “you find that funny, huh?” he said, a smile tugging at his lips. geto rolled his eyes a bit, but his own smile betrayed his true feelings. he couldn't stay serious when you laughed. “just the thought of us going rogue and taking down the entire school system for you is amusing, i guess,” he said, his tone laced with sarcasm.
you hummed in satisfaction, “they are shit anyway.” a gentle smile lingering on your pale lips.
gojo chuckled warmly, his eyes sparkling at your comment. “ah, and there’s that signature wit of yours coming back.”
geto, still feigning annoyance but struggling to hide a grin, shook his head slightly. “still as blunt and unfiltered as ever,” he said, his eyes soft.
you glances at both of them, the comforting silence lingering between you, and with a tender smile, you mouthed softly, “i love you.” your cheeks flushed a delicate crimson beneath your pale complexion as you kissed their cheek.
gojo and geto exchanged a brief glance at your sweet words and soft kisses, their hearts swelling with warmth and love. gojo's hand reached out to stroke your hair, his touch gentle and loving. “we love you too,” he said softly.
geto's smile widened as he placed a gentle kiss on your forehead. “always,” he breathed, his voice filled with tenderness.
the thought of you coming back to them is warm.
TAGLIST :
@junni-berry @fortunatelyfurrygiver @soraya-daydreams @diorzs @dancing--devils @iloveboysinred @bounie1 @nina3871 @ohnotheusernameisbroken
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jonathanpongratz · 2 years ago
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Library Title Picks - April 2023
Howdy Bookworms! Admittedly, I’m running a bit late with my posts, but I caught my deadline for book requests at my local library just in time, phew! Alright, so every month I get to pick three books for my library to buy physical copies of. It’s a great way to support my fellow indies and get the word out about their wonderful works. This month we’ve got an intriguing mix of horror, scifi, and…
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dearestwoods · 1 month ago
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I think @constellations-cluster would disagree...
Can dogs blog?
Some would say so.
They are wrong.
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evillivesheree · 15 days ago
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Starter Call ! From Clarice Starling ;
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