#by the things they can't say out loud

[akatsuki-tia]

"i can see now how the og post might come across otherwise, but it never was about going "why doesn't the 10th gen care about tsuna??" or anything lol." @hopeswriting

Woops. I didn't actually mean it like that if you’ll believe it. It was more of general statement to answer my own diss on their emotional intelligence and people’s negative sentiment on the way they treat Tsuna’s wishes in general.

But yeah, I do have a good idea of your opinion on the 10th Gen. I’m pretty sure I’ve read every single one of your posts and your Ao3 fanfics on the subjects. And I absolutely loved them. I think your thoughts influenced my own interpretation of them a lot over time.

"like, there's this subtle power dynamic between each other, you know?"

Yeah, I do know. It’s like- a sense of responsibility, you could say? That Tsuna has toward them. He feels responsible for them, for their happiness, their safety, in a different way they feel responsible for his. If anything, the responsibility component in the 10th gen’s wish of happiness and safety for Tsuna is way lesser than Tsuna’s own. Though that doesn’t mean their wish is any less strong for it. And that gap in the sense of responsibility that colors their relationship, leader to subordinate, Sky to Guardian, even as they remain friends and family as well, it influences the direction their actions will take. Nuances the love they share. At least, that’s how I see it.

"but the 10th gen? there's no universe where letting go of tsuna can ever be an option. which also means that they have to do anything they can so tsuna won't be the one to let go of them first, forcing their hands. and if it means it leaves them with only two options to fight for his happiness to the bitter end, either making his pain a little easier to bear by never letting him know the true extent of their own, or letting him know he isn't in this fight alone but watching him hurt even more for it, is it any surprise at all they made the choice they did?"

Yes. You get it. That’s exactly it. I’m glad I was able to get my thoughts across.

"the love makes it worse but it's good enough the end of the road will be loving if nothing else. it's all that matters, even. they don't need it to be anything else but loving."

Yes, yes yes. Love was the beginning, and it’ll be the end, because what else could it be? When it’s the most precious thing they hold, when it’s the whole reason, when it’s the whole point? It’s the love they found, the love they’ll cradle and fight for and bleed for, till the bitter end. This love is the answer to their struggle, the source and reward of their pain.

It's no choice at all really, when it’s drinking the poison or dying from the thirst.  

[ID: Three panels from the manga Katekyo Hitman Reborn, showing Gokudera Hayato, Sasagawa Ryohei and Yamamoto Takeshi. They say “Woah—!!”, with bright and happy faces while smiling widely. /End ID]

this is their reaction to reborn letting them know about the upcoming inheritance ceremony, and it made me think of that ask i got about how frustrating it can be that the 10th gen seemingly has no problem being/becoming mafia even if it’s the last thing tsuna wants. and i actually didn’t remember this scene, but seeing this it’s only fair to wonder if they do, in fact, even care about tsuna not wanting to become mafia, yeah.

but honestly this reaction feels kind of off to me? and a bit–well, not necessarily ooc, but also not the type of reaction the natural progression of the story should have led to, because they’re literally right out of the future arc here, and we all know how that one went. tho gokudera is one thing because being mafia is all he’s ever known, and becoming vongola, let alone the leaders of vongola and all that it implies, is the best thing and happiest ending that can happen to him, and he still projects that on tsuna and assumes he must feel the same, but yamamoto? whose dad was killed in the future because he was mafia? who was forced to give up on baseball (i.e. his civilian life), even if it was only temporary, so he could give his best trying to make things right again? and ryohei who was so mad (and scared) about tsuna involving kyoko in the mafia any more than she had to to the point he punched him?

like, even putting aside tsuna altogether and how they should care to take into account his wishes on the matter, why would they be happy with the prospect of officially becoming mafia? tho the way the scene is framed they’re solely being happy for tsuna here, and still the question remains because why would they be? don’t they know tsuna at all??

(and not quite relevant, but it’s interesting that hibari’s reaction isn’t shown, and in fact he disappears from the conversion entirely from this point onwards. and i know it’s likely just hibari being hibari and not considering himself part of the group and so not considering himself concerned by any of this but like… interesting.)

[niccolites]

is possessed by an evil spirit for a moment and i can only think abt brother's best friend soap (heavily inspired by @ceilidho's ask here)

Idk man something about soap having always been a little bit weird with u. he's been friends with ur brother for years, back to when you were teenagers. He's only a year older but you felt the gulf of that gap, exaggerated when he shot up, puberty like a tool he used just to tower over u and make u uncomfortable

Growing up with him as a perpetual shadow, always a little bit too close, always a little bit too intense. Your parents shrug it off when u complain about it, telling u that he just likes u and u could be nicer to him about it, poor guy. Ur brother calls u stuck up when u snub soap, hissing at u to stop embarrassing him when ur rude when johnny tries to give u his seat on the couch where they're playing on their console

only you know that he's only offering u a seat so that he can press in close, a hulking mass in the corner of your eye as hot breath hits the side of ur face while he tries to look down ur shirt. constantly trying to dodge his grabby hands that grip ur exposed thighs or smooth over ur hips - pupils blown out when his hands swallow up the expanse of your skin

u snap at one point and tell him that he disgusts u, that ur not into him at all. he goes red in the face, growling that you've been leading him on, that ur playing games with his head (he is assuming u wearing a blue bra after he yanked ur turtleneck up was to match his eyes, even tho he shouldn't have seen it in the first place)

u end up with ur panties around ur knees as he forces u to stroke his cock, panting into ur throat as u 'make apologies' to him. he forgives u btw, he knows that u have to act this way, that ur brother would kill him if he knew. makes it seem like ur partners in crime, in this together even with his hand manacled around ur wrist to stroke him off

it gets worse after he enlists, and u don't see him for weeks or months. he gets pent up, barely putting a show on for everyone before he's dragging u off slick mouth on urs until there's spittle dribbling down ur chin, whining for u to please let him see his pretty girl (he's talking abt ur pussy), already 2 knuckles deep so ur wondering why he's even asking in the first place

and now he's a hero to everyone else. stuck in the bind of him being the in-love teenager to the kind-hearted man that is risking his life for everyone, do you have to be so cruel to him?

u wonder why, face pressed into the pillows of ur childhood bedroom as he hikes ur ass into the air to rut into u hard and fast

u do what u always do, hissing and spitting at him until he finally gets his way and ur back bows as he barely pauses through ur orgasm as he chases his own. he knows that u have to put the show on, lovey, but he's waiting in the backwing for u. partners in crime right?

[taradactyls]

"Willoughby could not hear of her marriage without a pang; ... For Marianne, however, in spite of his incivility in surviving her loss, he always retained that decided regard which interested him in every thing that befell her, and made her his secret standard of perfection in woman; and many a rising beauty would be slighted by him in after-days as bearing no comparison with Mrs. Brandon."

I'm normally too focused on 'well, well, if it isn't the consequences of your own actions' to really think about how this sort of thing would affect Marianne, but I mean, it's quite creepy, right??

Imagine you're living your life, happy with your husband, healed and flourishing, and every now and then you find out your HORRID ex is insulting other young women (and they must be young, if they're a 'rising beauty') by invoking your name. Like leave her alone, Willoughby!! You hurt her enough. She was 17 (to your 25) when she was in love with you, she's grown up, seen you for who you really are, and moved on. There's something incredibly selfish about even after treating Marianne so horribly, he refuses to stop associating her name with his own. I wonder how many people would know of Marianne PURELY because Willoughby casually mentions (many times) a young lady has no resemblance to her.

No one wants their worst ex to keep haunting the edges of their life.

[anarchopuppy]

"Why did Tears of the Kingdom have a development cycle just as long as Breath of the Wild's even though it reused so many assets?" is a question that I think fundamentally misunderstands how modern game design works

It assumes that the team does something like all sit down, develop the physics engine, then they can move on to the overworld map, then they can move on to making the cutscenes, etc. and when you think about that for just a second it becomes obviously absurd. Developing a physics engine, writing dialogue, creating textures, designing puzzles, and so on are all different disciplines that different specialists work on in parallel and in cooperation

What probably actually happened is a lot of the artists, engine devs, and so on put a lot less time into the project, before/while working on a bunch of different projects at Nintendo (quite possibly including the engine and art for the next Zelda game), and they also probably didn't need to get Monolith Soft to help design the overworld. Meanwhile, the puzzle designers, writers, and a lot of the rest of the team have to do just as much work as they did for Breath of the Wild (or more!), and so it's not that surprising that it took just as long

(Disclaimer that I don't know for certain that this is how it happened internally at Nintendo, and short of interviewing the devs I don't think there's any way to find out. The credits won't help because close to all of the people who moved on to other teams either worked on TotK for part of the development and/or had their work ported over from BotW. This is just my understanding of how modern AAA game development works)

[markiafc]

in the celluloid closet 1995, when richard dyer talks about the indirect expression of queerness found in films w/ queer subtext. the multiple layers behind this approach: the characters are keeping a secret, the film is keeping a secret, and the audience who knows this unspoken secret is keeping it too. everyone is in the closet together. it's a quote from the documentary i think about forever and ever, various reasons and through various angles. the repressed and silenced audience can connect, can relate, can identify themselves in a repressed and silent picture.

[kaythefloppa]

"Go to hell" is basic. "I hope your favorite show that ended or was supposed to end naturally regardless of quality suddenly gets renewed for countless new seasons that soullessly milk it dry and sink the show's quality to unsalvageable levels whilst showing zero signs of ever putting the show to rest or letting it die like it should've " is smart. It's possible. It's terrifying. It has actually happened.

[waitineedaname]

One thing that I think muddies the water re: SQQ acting like a buffoon is that he’s much more physically expressive in the donghua? In a very comical and memorable way, like chugging the medicine he tries to give Luo Binghe when the system is about to doc him points, noticing it’s for external use only, and then visibly fainting in front of Ming Fan and Luo Binghe. He’s much more of a clown, and it’s mostly in good fun, even if it’s not accurate to the book. Thinking about it more, my ideal adaptation would have SQQ properly maintaining his immortal facade at all times, but also include an expressive chibi version of himself acting out his inner thoughts and yelling at the system constantly. Only the audience would see his flailing, and also probably SQH when he’s introduced. Also! Showing him get more expressive with Binghe as book 3 goes on and he lets out more of his real personality around him.

that's a really good point about the donghua! I'm charmed by how SQQ is in the donghua because he's such a fucking loser (affectionate) but it definitely isn't very accurate to the novel. tbh the difference between SQQ's inner monologue vs outward appearance/actions is one of the things that makes it hard to adapt from a written form! having a little chibi SQQ to express his inner thoughts is an option, or hiding his expressions behind his fan or waiting until he's alone to scream into a pillow or something lsdkjflksdjf it's tough! it's really one of those things that works best as a book, which is such a shame because GOD i want to see so much of it visually

also him being more expressive with Binghe as their relationship develops is really good :') especially post-canon! Binghe complains that SQQ smiles more at other people, can you imagine what it'll be like once SQQ starts letting more of those walls down and fully grins at him while teasing him? I think Binghe would just straight up short circuit for a second

[your-dads-filing-cabinet]

Mark is right btw, the most difficult thing is long-term recovery after disaster and fighting off mega corporations trying to "build back better" aka gentrify. If you're interested in learning more about the concept check out the field of "disasterology", or the book of the same name by Dr. Sarah Montano to get started.

[worstloki]

negative connotations to Arabic phrase ‘God is Great’ incorrect. average praying Muslim does takbir (says Allahu Akbar) a minimum 95 times a day and should have been counted.

[sandushengshou]

#listening to music#(kpop because im in deep rn. mills DNI)

you didn't tell me not to interact so drop the playlist

#kareena DNI

[karliahs]

okay i have a complete draft for this fic now but the last section definitely needs more editing before it can go up, which is a crime actually because it means i can't yet share exactly how unwell i am feeling about aizawa & mic lately

[the-eb]

Shouldn't I have a name? Over a year on HRT and I don't have a name. I feel like I'm a separate thing, a skin that only remembers the world raising a boy who was made of wood, a strange lifeless Pinocchio. Shouldn't I have taken over by now? Shouldn't I be real? I can't see a future for myself. I guess that's not so strange. I have no experience in living. I barely leave my room. I barely talk. It's bare in here, too, walls unadorned and dusty white, floor dirty and littered. I'm fairly strongly allergic to dust mites, I've been told. I barely notice it. What am I? I have no past, no future, no present. Am I the one made of wood? Have I failed to notice that, too?

[micamicster]

"Hey, Yoon-jae. Do you still like me? Answer me right now. Are you in love with me?"

The passing of objects from character to character worked so well in this pair of episodes. The homework: Joon-hee does it for Yoon-jae, Yoon-jae would have done it twice for Shi-won, Dad does it for Shi-won in the end. The tickets: Yoo-jung to Hak-chan, revealing her crush on Yoon-jae, then giving them to Yoon-jae who can only think selfishly of Shi-won, and Hak-chan reusing the Next tickets to ask Yoo-jung out. The scarf: Yoon-jae giving it Shi-won, Shi-won thoughtlessly giving it to Joon-hee… all of it just tells us so much about the relationships, without needing to spell it out. We know exactly who loves whom, and whose heart is getting ripped out in the process.

Dramabeans review of Answer Me 1997

[tittyinfinity]

My neurodivergencies and mental illnesses overlap so much that you could diagnose me with about anything at this point

[icewindandboringhorror]

"We can get through this by working together, reach out to your friends, community is all we have, a social network will be your security in the world, now is the time to lean on others!"

I do agree, and it's scientifically sound (pretty sure there is data about how people with better social networks live longer and etc) but also....augh..... what about the severe social issues, difficulty to leave the house, physical issues which lead to like zero socialization energy a majority of the time, etc. etc. Social support can be a replacement for structural support, but.. I guess I just wish it didn't have to be. Community is extremely difficult to build, even moreso if you're someone who has issues with social cues or group conversations or even just being around others in the first place. And blah, nuance, of course I'm just complaining or maybe being too negative or maybe misunderstanding, but, I hardly have the energy to brush my hair once every 2 months.. how am I supposed to maintain a wide social network and be active in a Community and Join Groups lol... sometimes it kind of feels like "er.. well if thats my only option then...... ruh roh". It's overwhelming

[hollowfaith]

this is humiliating

klaus don't look