#by going : im feeling something negative in Him

[rouge-fauna]

In this discduo timeline pastebin i read, you can see tommy did care about dream for a very long time even while his friends were trying to convince him that dream was bad, he continued to praise dream and had plans to meet him irl. It wasnt until june july 2023 when tommy started believing the lies his friends and fans kept telling him and thays when he banned the words dream and discduo in his chat and said that he didnt wanna go all the way to florida. I think he genuinly thinks dream wronged him based on his body language in the podcast and how he dissocoates, like tommy now percieves all his past positive interactions with dream as a negative and jack, harry, and tommys fanbase fed into that, but he also is lying about dream with other things. And i mean he could be faking that body language to garner sympathy Im not entirely sure. Im just looking at the nuance here. He knows dream or at least he did. He used to check up on him all the time and he knew how bad dreams mental health was, but he still lies and claims dreams apathetic and thinks dream cant take accountability and thinks dream doesnt care about him when dream has always cared. I can send you that pastebin if u want, u can see the decline in where tommy starts turning against dream its aroundn the time where he and harry got closer. But before that, he saw dream as this brilliant helpful guy and referred to him as a friend, even in the past referred to him as closer than a brother. He cared for dream at some point for a long time, then ditched him and betrayed him. Also dream refers to tommy as emotional, and i can see how someone so sensitive can interpret a long dm as an attack, and apparently he did explain his issue to dream before but it never got resolved or tommys lying about that too. I dont doubt that he is doing a lot of this to get attention, but i do think some feelings could be genuine despite it logically not adding up. I can see how someone could interpret dreams dms in a stressful way. But the fact tommy even gave a shit about dream in the past to begin with makes this worse, because the way i see it, if someone close to me turned on me i would be a lot more hurt by that than if someone i was only colleagues with turned on me.

Was gonna chrck back on their past interactions to see if i can spot anything shady on tommys part if yk what i mean even if this is gonna make me sad. One of my co workers offered to do a watchparty💀

(I should preface this by saying I have not yet watched the podcast, because at the moment I’m little too triggered to even give a shit about what Tommy has to say to be honest. I don’t really see what defense or reasoning you could possibly have for calling anyone, nonetheless your past friend a “proper movie villain” while accusing him of things that aren’t true, knowing the consequences. I mean I just don’t think people have really let that fact truly sink he, Tommy publicly compared Dream to Darth Vader, Bane, The Joker, Voldemort…etc mass murderers. Just think about that for a second. That’s not okay. People are out there comparing him to Hitler and talking about brutal ways to kill him, a go fund me to kill Dream has started. I don’t think there is a damn thing Tommy can say Dream did to excuse that shit, he will get no sympathy from me. Even if Dream physically abused him, which ain’t true since they’ve never met, Dream still shouldn’t be compared to freaking Hannibal.)

Even so, as I have said in some of my past posts on the matter, I do think perhaps Tommy was hurt by something that happened with Dream in the past and in retrospect realized perhaps things weren’t as good as he thought. Which happens, sometimes we look back on things and are like - hey wait a minute that wasn’t okay and that hurt. But that doesn’t make that person a shit person.

The example I believe I previously talked about was my first kiss, but to give another example, a guy I was good friends with freshman year of college was very handsy and I didn’t really realize in the moment how I felt about it or that he was pushing boundaries he shouldn’t. At first I didn’t think much of it. I was naive and autistic and didn’t really know better, and he was too. He didn’t have sisters, hell he thought woman were always making milk lol. In other words, we were both dumb. And looking back he did a lot of things that really were not okay, but once I came to realize and set boundaries he respected them. In fact, we are still kinda friends today, we’re even roomates for a bit after I graduate back in 2023. So, suffice to say, sometimes people can do shitty things or even things that you realize later were not okay, or even things that traumatize you, but that doesn’t make that person shitty. Especially if you didn’t call it out in the moment. This is what I mean by giving Dream the benefit of the doubt, sure I could perceive my friend as manipulative and taking advantage of naivety or whatever, or I recognize that he really just doesn’t know better. Now when you tell someone to stop and then they continue (depending on what it is because ya know old habits die hard or like my adhd is gonna try my hardest but I will inevitably skews up pronouns - just like I screw up everyone’s pronouns) now you’ve entered into the malicious and intentional area.

Bringing it back to Dream, Tommy was upset and told him to stop texting his mother, so Dream apologized to both and stopped. It becomes harassment and malicious if Dream continued over and over to do it, but he didn’t. This is why Dream is frustrated because he doesn’t know what behavior is upsetting people, and in his heart that’s not what he wants to do, but if people don’t tell him how is he meant to improve. At the end of the day, he doesn’t want to offend anyone or hurt someone, that doesn’t mean he hasn’t done so though as these things happen, nobody is perfect.

So I think maybe Tommy was hurt, maybe it was in retrospect looking back, maybe it was friends pointing things out and were like - hey that’s fucked up that happened. Maybe some of that hurt is genuine. And maybe you could make the case that that hurt has spurred him to take revenge and ruin Dream in whatever way it takes. So the jokes and lies are just part of his lashing out because he feels wronged.

However, there is also a case to be made that given Tommy’s history as pointed out by Dream with Logan Paul, maybe it was all an act. Maybe he was using Dream from the start and Dream being the naive, good hearted, autistic guy made an easy target. Maybe he only pretended to be good friends, sure Dream doesn’t have anything to gain from being Tommy’s friend but that doesn’t go both ways. Tommy has a lot to gain from being Dream’s friend, but as the tides turned he had a lot to lose by being Dream’s friend and it was easier to switch sides not that there was no incentive, as Dream pointed out as the USMP fell through so did Tommy switch sides. Once he couldn’t gain clout for being on Dream’s side but being against Dream, he switches. Because a lot of his audience has always been against Dream, struggling to tell the difference between character and person and as is human nature, instinctively hating an autistic person. That has been the case for ages, Tommy could have given into his audience for ages but even during the allegations height he still did that dsmp finale and posted that picture on Twitter (which he got a lot of hate for)…

All I’m saying, is even the people who have wronged me, even the person who pushed me to almost kill myself, I wouldn’t wish death or harassment upon them. I wouldn’t do the shit Tommy has pulled, because there was a time when we were friends. There were times when they were good to me. And maybe that makes me an exception to the rule, that people would be so cruel to the people they once called friends, but I couldn’t and that’s what makes me question Tommy’s sincerity and capacity for empathy…

Though perhaps both can be true.

[spookythesillyfella]

UUGHH I JUST HAD THE WORST DAY IM SO ANGRY AND FRUSTRATED GRRRR !!!!! goes to draw my best friend @jumjum-crafts 's guy to blow off steam

★ version without text + reference image under cut :

★ song : "STATIC ELECTRICITY HUMAN – Computer Flavor" – kairikibear

[daisybell-on-a-carousel]

Fanfic idea: Nocturna, after disappearing during the crisis, wakes up to find herself in the current universe, where she spots the Red Hood, and can't help but compare him to the blood night sky she last saw, and oddly, the young Robin whom she had tried to adopt

[camtankerous]

Not to be all “rpf is morally reprehensible” or whatever but like. Can we maybe stop writing dubcon rpf about the guy that got arrested and may not have even done the shooting. Like can we show just a modicum of self restraint here

[cleofast300]

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[seventh-district]

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[silentchamp]

[[going through that weird stage of feeling like my red's interpretation isn't particularly consistent, again. it comes and goes, never cared for it

[laniidae-passerine]

I’m finding that the laziest moments of Doctor Who’s writing are the ‘retroactive twists’ - when the show runner reveals something happened way back over there, in the past, before they were even running the show. And we swear it happened, way over there, far back, and you didn’t see it because of reasons but it’s definitely been happening! And it totally makes sense and I absolutely didn’t just pull it out my ass to justify my paper thin plotline! All this kind of writing does is make me miss self contained season length plots. We’ve had people complaining that Moffat was guilty of the “this thing is big and scary and it’s going to happen, oh god it’s showing up, we’re going to discover what it truly is….. next season!!!!!!” plotline (and yes. he was. twelve is my fav doctor but yeah Moffat loved a mysterious horse and a big stick) but now suddenly when RTD gets out his own mysterious horse and a big stick, it’s got to be genius! everything is eventually going to make sense! and we’re absolutely not being had by a man who used to be able to write this show and is now a hack!

[lleclercism]

I love charles winners mentality and whenever ppl ask him abt any position he is that is not p1 (in anything) he's immediately like "yeah it's fine just not something i particularly care" or "it's good just not what im aiming for" like idk man anyone else in his position would just settle for mid because like he's already in f1 and has sponsors left and right and he is living the life but he cares so fucking much and wants nothing but to win and be at the top always and at the front every weekend and if it doesn't happen then he will make sure it will be different in the future and all he wants is to win and ferrari and a wdc and then another wdc and then another and another all whilst being in ferrari and winning in ferrari

[greppelheks]

Wish I was one of those people who are just like 'we'll just see where it goes', but unfortunately, I need to have control of every single situation.

[leori-the-unlearned]

the way digimon does conflict/drama between two characters who should be or are close: chef’s kiss <3

the way sonic idw handles creating conflict/drama between two characters who should be or are close: *wilting flower*

[villainvillain]

oop ALREADY seeing cold takes that are just "i thought the finale was good so if you didnt you are clearly just watching the show wrong and you missed the point of everything ever" like ok can we just accept that the world is more nuanced than that and doesnt always revolve around ur thoughts and opinions

[hearts401]

im having a lonely week and i cant even blame it on my period this time so like

[orcelito]

I think I cried harder today over my dad's jackets than I did at his deathbed. That was a miserable time of course, a memory that will likely be seared into my brain until I die, but I cried... I think a normal amount, all things considered. More than I ever usually do of course, but I typically don't cry At All. All this free crying is certainly surreal.

The jackets, though. I was put in charge of doing his laundry, because we don't want to pack up dirty clothes. I was expecting it to be unpleasant bc my dad's dirty clothes - gross. But really, it was much more unpleasant in that... those were his. It felt wrong to touch them. Felt wrong to treat his jackets as gross. Because they were just his jackets. They weren't even in the hamper. And then I was remembering him wearing them, and then I was crying. Again. And again. Weeping over these damn jackets.

Then I found a shirt on his bed that still smelled like him. It smelled like a Hug From Dad. And that set me off crying even harder.

In total, I think I cried like 6 times within 40 minutes. It took me that long to finish sorting the damn clothes bc I just. Was a wreck. Like, what are you supposed to do when you're living life like normal, vaguely hopeful bc you're taking steps to secure your own happiness, and then 4 days later you're sorting your dad's laundry because he fucking died. Suddenly. Without a goodbye.

And you have to worry about his lack of a will (even under an ideal situation, only 2 heirs and no conflicts between us, probate's a fucking Bitch), and arranging the funeral, and prepping his obituary, and picking out pictures, and writing a speech bc you want to talk at his funeral, of Course you want to talk at his funeral, but even just thinking about anecdotes you could share has you crying yet again.

I've cried more times in the past 3 days than likely the entirety of last YEAR. And that's WITH my cat, and uncle, and family friend dying. Those all hurt, my uncle most of all, & I was real fucked up over it. But this? This was my Dad. Likely the person I'd have named 2nd closest to me in my life, second only to my sister. He wasn't perfect, but he did so much for me throughout my entire life. All he wanted was to raise us to be happy and independent. And he accomplished it, we're getting by without him, but we still wanted several more decades with him. He was only 57. We should've gotten several more decades with him.

But here we are now. Playing investigators to his life, digging into all his shit, trying to find documents and take inventory of all his things, and learning Many things about him in the process. In his lockbox of sensitive documents, like his SSN and birth certificate and all that stuff, we found an old letter. About a decade old now, written in my hand. Right at the very top, we found that he'd kept the letter I wrote to him telling him frankly about my struggles and the things I wanted him to do better. He kept it. He tried to take it to heart. He looked at it again, sometime more recently than all the rest of the documents. That was on top.

His love for us is evident everywhere. The pictures he has hanging up all over the place, majority of them with us in them. The old fathers day cards placed on display in his bedroom bookshelf. The gifts we gave him, even stupid little knick knacks, placed around his apartment with pride. I wish we'd taken more videos of him. I don't want to forget the sound of his voice. I don't want to forget his smell either, the smell of a Hug From Dad, but I still tossed that shirt into the wash even though it felt like saying yet another goodbye.

It's the suddenness that hurts the most, I think. We were planning on having him help me finally get my license this year. My final words to him, the last thing he would've seen from me, were messages asking up on whether he'd called his car insurance company to make sure there wouldn't be problems. I should've called him more. I don't know if I'm going to learn from this.

I cut my 2 weeks off early to have time to grieve and to work on things for the funeral and settling the estate. The last thing I'd wanna do right now is selling fucking bubble tea in a job I already decided to leave. So here I am without a job, though with potentially two life insurance policy payouts to come. Inheriting half his 401k. Inheriting couches, knickknacks, keepsakes, paintings, art pieces, maybe even his guitar and other furniture if we can figure out what to do about space (I don't have room for this furniture, I don't know if I even have room for the couches, but God do I want to keep so much of this furniture). It has me even considering keeping one of his guns, just one. A tiny little revolver, it sits so comfortably in my hand. I don't even want to use it for anything. I just want to have it, keep it stored in a drawer with its ammo kept separate. I don't like guns, but this is a part of him. He loved collecting guns. He was about as responsible with them as someone can be, keeping them locked in a lockbox and impressing upon his children the importance of gun safety (I've known the basic gun safety rules ever since I was a little kid. Of course, of course, of course.) It reminds me of him. It's horrifically easy to have a gun in Indiana. I apparently don't even need a permit to carry anymore. (I have no intention to ever carry this in public.)

It's all a cycle. Business, grief, thoughts about my future. Round and round, like the most nauseating carousel in existence. I don't know how I'm still so functional. My skills with compartmentalization have been my lifesaver.

And im just thinking about the story my dad's best friend shared today. About a friend of theirs who lost her father. She reached out after hearing about my dad to share his words with her: "it's okay to grieve, but don't make his death your life".

He explicitly referenced himself in this, saying if he were to die suddenly that he wouldn't want us to define ourselves by it. Grief is expected, but he wants us to be able to move on. He's always wanted us to establish ourselves and make ourselves happy. He wouldn't want to be a weight holding us back from that.

So every time I start to feel guilty for thinking about having nicer furniture or using his life insurance payout to fund the rest of my college, I remind myself of that. Thinking about the material isn't a bad thing. I'm only human. And in the end, he'd Want me to be thinking about it. He never intended to die, certainly not without warning like this, so he would've only encouraged me being pragmatic about it all.

He only ever wanted us to be happy. So I need to do what I can to live up to that.

I love him. I miss him already.

[azurechicken]

It always gets me how Justice did not change at all, like, he is not corrupted at all. It makes everything more tragic than it already is. The only thing that changed was his perception, which of course, naturally came due to the change of hosts. I'm mostly taking Awakening Justice into account and how he acts because that is where we can carefully observe him by himself, without Anders' influence on the matter. And his influence is everything on the point I am trying to make.

When we first meet Justice, he is fulfilling his nature of bringing justice to the people he thinks that need it. He is very outspoken about it, and is already ready to take action with or without Warden's help. For a supposedly peaceful spirit that Anders claims to have ruined with his anger, Justice is acting pretty angry here himself (This is not the only time either). This is one of the first things I want to point out that did not change much about the spirit. Justice was always fierce about his cause. However, what stands out to me in these scenes is when the witch calls him out on his idea of justice.

Justice, is that what you are calling it? What of their punishment, burning my house to the ground and with me in it?

Well, in this case, the witch is a demon and mocking Justice for funsies. But what she says actually gives a bit more insight about what kind of a spirit Justice is. The actions do not speak louder than intent to him, as long as it is within the lines he set for himself. In a way, he was always okay with a few… casualties in the name of justice. Even though it is as simple as burning down a house this time. Isn't violence for violence vengeance after all?

While we are on the topic of vengeance, let's not forget the way he is eager on avenging Kristoff, vowing to kill every darkspawn for his cause (I mean the way he literally calls it avenging is enough debate for some people but I want to continue). So how come wanting to take revenge on the offenders that wronged not only his host but many other people, is any different? How did this route did not take him to the road of vengeance but attacking the templars, who are also offenders that wronged his host and other people, is corrupting him?

The answer is of course, that it is not, it did not. There is no difference between those two for Justice, there is no difference between vengeance and justice. Punishing the ones who deserve it is all there is. There is no gray area for spirits the way there is in the mortal world, and we see this clearly in the way he judges Velanna and Nathaniel for their crimes. Despite what I said about him seeing intent before action, now he cannot see beyond their wrongs. This simply shows that if the intent is as clear as violence for violence, he understands. But he does not understand the gray area of Velanna mistaking the innocents as guilty, or Nathaniel taking back what used to be already his.

 

There might be none for Justice, but there is a difference between darkspawn and templars for mortals. For one, darkspawn are generally mindless, and has no moral compass for us to judge. Whereas templars are just people with different ideals about life, to put it kindly at least. (Which is worse, being a mindless cruel monster, or having the mind and morals to choose to be something else but going for being one anyway? Lol another discussion for another time). Templars are the gray area that Justice lacks the understanding of. When he vows to kill every templar like he did with the darkspawn, he does not suddenly turn into a demon, he is simply punishing the ones that were doing wrong, as he does.

From here we can say that spirits' judgments and mortal's don't exactly match up. Though, there is one idea that seems to match better than others, and that is corruption. As far as we learn from Justice, spirits do not know about corruption any better than we do. Spirit do bad, spirit go bad, right? So, when Justice starts to feel things that are associated with demons, such as envy, he starts to fear corruption. He says he does not want to learn how a demon feels, but he also states that he does see the wishful thinking of a demon wanting to cross the Veil for this world. He is conflicted at best about the whole thing. Still, he does not consider himself corrupted regardless. I think that the reason behind that is simply the fact that generally, the Warden can ease his worries when Justice confides in them. And that is another thing that says a bit about him. He seems to accept the lack of understanding he has in the world, and chooses to listen to someone who does. Though, not just a random anybody, someone he deemed just.

So, let's see. A fade spirit with identity issues and an anxious spirit healer walks into a bar…

When they merged and Justice accepted Anders' cause for himself, and when they went all crazy on the Templars, Anders was scared. He feared the worst immediately because he is taught the worst about possession. He knew that Justice was angry because of him and his ideals about mages. So he blamed himself, called it a corruption he caused. And as I mentioned, Justice is accepting of the fact that he has a lack of understanding of some things. Plus, he was already scared of corruption. So, when Anders, who is an educated mage about possessions and corruption claims that he is slowly corrupting the spirit, they held onto it.

Everyone in their life from this point on, do nothing but egg them on about it, on top of it all. They might not corrupt each other, but everyone else does by pushing them the idea that they are now an abomination. Anders starts to fear the nonexistent corruption more, and Justice is confusing the inability to just wipe all the bad out with sloth. We are talking about a being who comes from the Fade, which can be bent at will and a place of immediate action. This works well in Awakening because we are already fighting darkspawn nonstop, and we are in the middle of a war. But in Kirkwall? Everything requires planning and suspended ideals. Templars bring injustice everywhere they go, yet there is not much they can do. After many years of being held back, it is no wonder Justice is surfacing more and more, itching to fulfill his purpose. Because he was always outspoken, angry at the injustice in the world and eager to bring justice. He did not change, but Anders' morals and his' just did not align the way they thought it would. They forgot that in Justice, there was always a part that was vengeance.

At the end, Justice was one of the most stable parts of Anders' story. He couldn't count his vow in Awakening complete without reaching the root of the problem, which was the broodmother. And he could not do so in Kirkwall without getting rid of the Chantry. Because chantry is the root of the Templars, and being a bystander while you can help solve everything easily is unjust all the same.

Anders and Justice had the same cause, different morality and they were just confused because they didn't know any better.

[lesbian-cowpoke]

The pure unadulterated sibling rage when you see them doing/listening to something you like and did first.

Like THATS MY THING YOU CANT DO THAT! I LISTENED TO BIKINI KILL FIRST! I CAME OUT FIRST! I WAS PUNK FIRT! COPYER!!!!!