#by god i miss being able to touch physical books

[fullflowerking]

A. dumah

B. I don't remember my wings that well, but definitely closer to a lighter shade. Perhaps bronze or sandy brown

C. I was a lower ranking angel, tasked with observing humanity. Not intervening

D. See above

E. I didn't fall, I reincarnated to earth as a human being and I still consider my species to be an angel

F. I remember being in a beautiful garden at some point. My mind felt light and airy, and I "felt" things around me with spatial awareness instead of objectively viewing it. If you asked me to describe a single plant or creature in this garden I wouldn't be able to.

G. I resonate with the element fire because I was born in December. My dad was sick with cancer when I was born, and they told him he might not live. After I was born, he got better. I always attach this to the transformative power of fire, and my angelic abilities are still attached to me in utero.

H. I'm a biblical angel, so I guess more likely the Christian god. I don't remember him though, just a faint memory of Him being present.

I. I feel I became confined to earth after observing humans for so long. I think at some point I wanted to be involved more than I was, so I decided to join.

K. The advantage of being an angel on earth really depends on your definition of an advantage. My definition is having more freedom, being able to touch, see and experience the world like a proper mammal rather than like a divine being. You miss out on a lot when you lack the 5 senses.

L. A disadvantage. There are many. When you're an angel, you don't get tired, you don't need to go to the bathroom, you don't need to eat. Suddenly all these things that make you human become an exhausting task that you have to be involved in, all the time. There are more, but I want to keep this short.

M. I was around during the holy war. The crusade before crusades. I remember a few angels starting to feel less angelic over time, and it was like a ripple effect amongst the loyal. Suddenly, the side I was on with my brother Michael felt less and less like the winning side, and more like the side you pick when there's no better option. I desired the same freedoms as the other side but I suppose I was too cowardly to take it.

N. No one around me knows my identity. I feel like it's unnecessary to tell anyone. I can never go back to what I was. The best thing I can do is live my life as heavenly as I can in my current life.

O. Funnily enough, I started suspecting i was something more at a very young age. I didn't know quite what. I remember having mental shifts in the church growing up, and having visions about winged creatures when I was around 10. I discovered angels outside of the Bible and for the first time I felt like these things were the best thing I could use to describe myself.

P. Lol. I was hoping this question would come up. O fortuna is at the top of my list. It always gives me chills. Any songs in Latin or slavic-based languages always makes me go into mental shifts.

Q. To feel angelic, I watch movies with angels in them, read books with angels in them, exercise and ride my bike to just feel the wind against my face. I go to the park with a long black coat on and listen to music, and just watch people. Sometimes I talk to them, but not often because I can be quite introverted.

R. See above. I also veil on occasion, especially when I'm around religious buildings or graveyards or when meditating. (I do not pray to the Christian god)

S. I'm not repelled by religious buildings. I'm also not attracted to them. But when I step inside a place that has been cleansed, anointed or used for worship, I can get mental shifts and my vibration raises to the point that I believe that religious figures and children can feel.

T. Good question. Unfortunately I don't know what my halo looked like. I'm assuming it was closer to light than a physical object, maybe light that my divinity gave off. Like a rainbow spectrum or pure white. 🤷‍♀️ no clue.

U. If I did, I don't remember.

V. Not prophetic dreams, but I've had vivid dreams and nightmares about snakes, naked human beings, violence, starvation and fire. I have had many dreams of what I believe to be pre-flood events on earth, where animosity & disbelief became more rampant between Him and humans.

W. Nope

X. Anywhere that has a beautiful garden. I also like fountains, aquariums, the forest and jungle

Y. Nope

X. I remember being in Europe at some point. I don't know exactly where, I just remember hearing some francophone language being spoken, and there was a lot of political unrest. Unfortunately, the details were never that important to anyone, and as I've mentioned before, I didn't see things the same way as an angel as I do now. My best guess would be middle ages or less. They seemed to be very complicated with the Catholic church back then.

I hope you enjoyed my answers as much as i enjoyed answering them

Angelic Ask Meme

I’ve been meaning to make one of these for a while…send some to my ask, and feel free to reblog!

A-what is your angelic name? B-what did your wings look like? C-what are you an angel of? D-what order or rank of angel are you? E-did you fall? If so, why? F-describe a random angelic memory G-what element/s do you align with? H-do you remember or follow any gods? I-do you know or suspect why you are earthbound? J-what other angels were you close to? K-an advantage to being an angel on earth? L-a disadvantage to being an angel on earth? M-were you around during the war? If so, what side were you on? N-does anyone irl know you’re an angel? O-how long have you known you’re Angelic? P-what is a song that reminds you of being angelic, or of an angelic memory? Q-what is something you do to feel angelic? R-have anything you wear that makes you feel like your angelic self? S-are you attracted to places of worship, or repelled by them? T-what did your halo look like? U-any angels you had a rivalry with? V-ever have any prophetic dreams, or things like that? W-are you an empath/psychic/medium/etc? X-any places on earth that remind you of home? Y-ever had irl contact with other divines in this life? Z-have any past earthbound life memories?

[grimbeak]

horrible disease called sleepy after being overwhelmed 

[aquadios]

JAKE & THE COLLEGE SCENERY : pair sim jaeyun x fem genre college fluff minor angst friend of a friend to lovers warning suggestive ish also not proofread !! wc est. 09k-1k

COLLEGE!JAKE who you met when you chased after the morning bus, your roommate kept snoozing your alarm until you only had five minutes left to get ready, get breakfast and catch the bus—which ultimately left you.

“oh my god! i’m so sorry,” you fell with a big oof, dropping all of your books. however, your gaze wasn’t on the boy you just slammed into the concrete, instead it was on the bus that became smaller and smaller.

COLLEGE!JAKE who simply smiles at you while picking up your books for you. all you could do was mumble sorry after sorry when seeing his bleeding knuckles—he had tried breaking your fall when you ran into him but landed on his knuckles.

“no worries, happens all the time.” you both stand up and you finally get a better view. the boy adorns a bright smile and chocolate brown hair. he’s wearing the universities jacket—you’ve never seen someone look so good in school merch.

COLLEGE!JAKE who you run into yet again during your free period when one of your friend’s calls you over to their table. as you speak to jongseong about the lesson in marketing 101, jake can’t help but smirk at your nervous demeanor.

“this is jake by the way, he’s single.” jongseong wiggles his brows while patting jake’s shoulders. “yeah, i almost broke his hand this morning,” you let out a low chuckle. “sorry again, i was actually gonna look for you to give you this.” it’s a handkerchief you maid back in middle school.

COLLEGE!JAKE who stares at the handkerchief with your initials until his eyes physically burn. he isn’t sure why you had such an impact on his soul; every thought that crossed his mind was about you.

COLLEGE!JAKE who can’t help but search for you at a party after jongseong said you’d be there. he ignores the people at the ping pong table calling his name and the girl’s sitting on the couch calling him over. he’s here for one thing, and it’s you.

COLLEGE!JAKE who finds his feet moving at a faster pace when he sees you hanging around the pool with your group of friends. your laugh echo’s through the crisp air and he thinks it might be his new favorite sound.

“are you sure your friends won’t miss you?” you question when you notice everyone trying to catch his attention. jake shakes his head while he continues to drag you to an empty room with a bottle of wine in his hand. “nah, and even if they did, i’d rather be here with you.” he closes the door behind him, facing you with a look of sincerity. “i don’t think i’ve been able to stop thinking about you since we ran into each other.” jake intertwines you hands with his.

COLLEGE!JAKE who isn’t afraid of showing his feelings. as you both lay in whoever’s bed staring at one another with the tipsiness of the alcohol running through you, you notice his eyes flickering between your eyes and your lips.

“i’m surprised jongseong has never mentioned you before,” you lean your head on your shoulder. “likewise.” jake moves a strand of your hair behind your ear, letting his thumb roam your warm skin. “if he hadn’t introduced me to you sooner, i think this night would end differently.” “and why’s that?” you inquire when jake begins to lean in. “because i wouldn’t be confident enough to kiss you.” his lips crash down onto yours—enough to knock you onto your back with his lips desperately wanting more.

BOYFRIEND!JAKE who waits outside each of your classes to scare you. his hands encircle your waist as he kisses up your neck towards your cheek. his day gets a million times better simply being in your presence.

BOYFRIEND!JAKE who begs you to stay in bed longer even after you’ve gone through every single one of your alarms.

“i can’t miss today, i have a presentation jake.” although relishing in his touch, you try to make an escape. keyword: try. “just let jay do it, he’ll find a way to get you a good grade.” jake hides his head deeper into your neck while wrapping all of his limbs around you. his lips leave wet kisses all over your skin knowing you’d give in.

BOYFRIEND!JAKE who doesn’t hide his jealousy very well. he knows you’re loyal but who’s he to say that his girlfriend isn’t attractive? jake sulks all day until you baby him, or he’ll be extremely quiet. this day happened to be the latter.

“why are you so quiet?” you frown while turning to look at jake. you were over at sunghoon’s for a movie night, like every other night, just this time sunghoon had invited a friend who was known for having a crush on you. jake shakes his head. “you know you’re always gonna be the one for me.” you whisper in your boyfriend’s ear before turning back to the movie. jake smiles into your hair, and in return, he slides his hands up your shirt drawing circles.

BOYFRIEND!JAKE who says things in the heat of the moment but regrets it later on when he’s missing you late at night. you’re on the couch and he’s in the bed hugging your pillow, but your scent washed away days ago. he hates that he drove you to sleep angry, he hates the things he said, and most importantly he hates the lump in his throat.

“baby,” he trails a hand from your sleeping face to your arms. he crawls under the small throw blanket you found in your closet. “i’m sorry,” he frowns deeply and finally lets his tears fall. he curls up against your back, soaking your shirt with his sorrowful tears. you awake to his sniffles and you whip around—worried almost. “i don’t wanna be mad at each other anymore.” that night he seemed to sleep better than any other.

BOYFRIEND!JAKE who dances with you in the kitchen late at night to cheer you up after a bad grade or just a bad day. he loves the way you try to hide your giggles at his terrible attempt at tango.

BOYFRIEND!JAKE who finds more enjoyment in laying in your bed with a bowl of popcorn and another one of your rom-coms than getting drunk and ending up in someone’s bed.

BOYFRIEND!JAKE who gives you annoying nicknames whenever you’re mad at him.

BOYFRIEND!JAKE who won’t give the time of day to any other girl.

“hey, i was wondering if i could get your number?” jake glances around before pointing to himself with a look of confusion, and when she nods, he holds up his phone with the picture of you. “i have a wife and a kid, thanks, but no thanks.” “dude, what kid?” heeseung shoves him while watching embarrassment fill the girl. “my dog!”

BOYFRIEND!JAKE who doesn’t see anyone else but you. for you, his past doesn’t exist because you weren’t in the picture, he started living when you became someone in his life.

“i don’t think i’ll ever love someone the way i love you.” jake runs his hands through your hair while you both gaze at the stars. “i’m glad i ran into that day.”

you are all he’s ever known.

© aquadios | collection

playlist : let me love you by mario, intentions by starfall, moonstruck by 엔하이픈, safety net by ariana grande

[from-m-izzy]

here | the boyz kim sunwoo

“Oh my God,” you mutter at the wind grazing against your back.

pairing » the boyz kim sunwoo x fem!reader​

trope/au » friends with benefits au!, non-established relationship au!, non-idol au!, implied college/university au!​

genre » 18+ ONLY; MDNI PLEASE! 🔞 fluff...? (some of sunwoo's gestures for you can be seen in that way), ...sunwoo is kinda in love to be honest

word count; estimated reading time » 2540; ~10 mins

warnings (lmk if i missed anything!) » public sex (hotel balcony) and mentions of past public sex, dom!sunwoo, sub!reader, dirty talk and praising (sunwoo to reader), orgasm denial (sunwoo to reader), multiple rounds (two written, allusions to more), kissing and marking (both), pet names (baby girl, baby boy, slut, brat), sunwoo calling reader pretty and beautiful, sunwoo implied to be physically bigger and taller, sunwoo carries the reader, rough sex, swearing, begging (reader to sunwoo), nudity (both), fingering (sunwoo to reader), boob play (sunwoo to reader), sunwoo holds reader's wrists down at the end, mentions of masturbation (sunwoo about reader), creampie

navi/masterlist!! 🤍

thank you for hyping and helping me with this one @hursheys @mosviqu 😭

The moment the electric lock flashed green on the booked hotel room, clothes were flung and skin to skin were made before skin to fresh fabric. Kim Sunwoo smirks at your neediness for him, the way his finger smoothly glides along your folds confirming the fact even more. As always, he always knows how to rile you up, especially with the amount of orgasms he's taken away from you in the past hour.

"Stay still," a husky groan behind you reminded, "pretty little girl."

You whimpered at the pet name, your back arching, palm full of the sheets and chest fluttering at the wet kisses trailing down your spine. Sunwoo’s arm that was around your waist pulled you up to sit against the broad of his chest. His heating skin only intensifies the need around your body, your thighs shaking at the rubbing around your clit. Now practically sitting on his hard length, the new position was able to brush a deep place that had never been touched. The slightest movement occurred from his hip and the boy smirks at how you rest your head against his shoulder. 

"That's it, baby girl," licking the side of your neck. His teeth nibble on your skin, the same teasing way he flicks and ghosts over your defined nipples and kneads your boobs in his hands. "Louder," he presses on as he grows harder inside of you.

"S-Sunwoo-" Your words were taken out, replaced by the heaving of breaths and moans filling the hotel room. "Let me ride you. I need you so bad.” The idea is cunning to him and he couldn't help but hiss at the mental image of being able to fully see the way you would take him, eyes locked to his as you only increase the pleasure for you both.

"What's the magic word?"

"Please, pretty boy. Let me ride y-"

Turns out Sunwoo is more impatient than you are and you feel the way his length hardens more inside your gummy loosening walls, stretching and knocking on the very first stages of your orgasm. Sunwoo flips to change his position, laying gracefully over the bed with you hovering above him, but unfortunately for you, the slight moment when he needs to pull out to get into position makes you frown.

He chuckles, "Don't be so disappointed. You like my cock so much that you just want me in you all day. That's why you call me every single time, don't you?" Your attempt to take a breath halts halfway when you realise that Sunwoo doesn’t align his member to your hole, instead making your poor clit grind against the top parts of his needy, veiny length. "A-Ah..." He rocks your swollen clit against himself, satisfyingly bringing you up and down, his tip disappearing behind your folds and reappearing again gloriously.

Your lower body is starting to shake again and your hands leveraged for his abs, nails slightly digging into his skin. It only urged Sunwoo to grind further, pressing your hips down to him as he started to enter you slightly but pulled out before hitting your spot.

"P-Please, fuck me properly." You're out of your mind at how he plays you, half-hooded eyes staring at him in the low lighting of the room. His mischievous smile shows that he will stop playing with you, but not too soon. Desperate for release, you start to retaliate a bit, going against the guidance of his grip to keep him snug inside you. A smack lands on one of your ass cheeks and the impact makes you moan. It only gets worse for you when he completely stops matching your neediness, keeping your hips in place and taking your building orgasm once more.

Cries and pleas fill his ears. "Stop being a brat," demanding and strong even though his eyes tell you otherwise; if only your eyes were opened. "I'll give you what you want so be a good girl and take whatever I give you. Be patient." You were half-listening, your nods stuttering along with your lower body that starts to shake in anticipation. Your head hangs low, moaning louder and nails engraved to his abdomen.

Until he completely raises his upper body from the mattress.

“W-What are you doing…?" Craving the pleasure he skillfully gives and smacking his chest in frustration. Your legs instinctively wrap around his pelvic area when he completely stands from the bed, clinging onto him as your energy slowly but surely runs out at the relentless rounds that have been going on between him and you.

Sunwoo gives a fake emphatic pout, puckering his lips for a kiss instead. He brushes his lips wherever he can, chuckling at how contrasting the top part of your body is displaying soft love but how the lower part of your body is still connected, your cum dripping along his length as he holds completely still. It’s hard for him to not thrust, but he loves keeping you on edge just for a bit longer. He kisses your tears away and the soft treatment he's giving you makes you forget of your throbbing need only for a split second as he tends to you in a different way. You close your eyes to feel his tongue swirling yours. The need to feel every part of him is evident, your arms wrapped around his neck tell him your desperateness and Sunwoo caresses your waist.

"That's for not calling me for so fucking long," he breathes out. "I was starting to get upset that you haven't called me for a while. Am I a joke to you?

Teeth clash, nose nudging and the way you run out of breath faster than ever makes Sunwoo snicker. "You were being annoying," you bite back. "Fucking me in random places whenever you wanted to." 

Your face heats up as you remember the way Sunwoo would wiggle his eyebrows each time, a tongue poking on the inner side of his cheek before he took you to ride him for the first time in the unisex toilet, the front and backseats of his car, his bedroom with the door open and his parents just downstairs, in your house against the window, in the dressing room of a store where he ended up buying the dress he ripped off you, in the empty lecture room at university (let’s hope the recording system wasn’t on), or even fingering you during your lecture (you’re thankful the content is recorded). All those places he moulded his length into you, breaking you apart and putting you back with searing kisses each time. His controlling nature excites you, that's why you haven't been able to call him. You secretly hoped he would go even wilder if you didn't. 

Driving to your house, putting you on your shoulder and driving to the nearest hotel that he has booked has gotten to be the least public sex you've had; or so you thought. Sunwoo’s act of cradling your soft skin against his body while he opens the curtain and clicks the balcony door open has become the most public and thrilling thing you’ve ever done. You immediately knew that if other visitors (or even the passersby as you weren’t too far from the ground) were to look anywhere towards your side, they would be able to see you and Sunwoo in intimate detail.

“Oh my God,” you mutter at the wind grazing against your back. 

“You want to do it out here?” Suggesting a little show for everyone. “I can give the walkers a show if I bend you over, I guess,” he shrugs. “But I need to see you as I cum inside because it’s the best seeing you fall apart for me.” 

Sunwoo feels the way you start to pool at that, and he thrusts slightly after you throb at his length. The whimpers against his neck from his baby girl rile him, especially with how you're clinging onto him and grinding against his chiselled front. Sunwoo taps on the side of your thigh, a motion telling you to land back on the ground. He wastes no time, cupping a hand around your mouth while his index lays vertically against his lips, winking at you. Your hands immediately fly to the wooden railing behind you and Sunwoo takes this as a time to blanket his hand over yours before slowly testing and setting a comfortable, stable rhythm. 

“H-Here?” The wind messed up Sunwoo’s hair, and his overgrown bangs only made it hard for you to even set eyes on his orbs; but fuck did he look all the more attractive.

‘Here,” he affirms as a corner of his lip rises, smug and confident. “Shh,” he hushed. “Taking me like a good girl?” Chuckling at your rapid nods, “Or like a dirty little slut?”

Crocked, broken moans could still be heard behind his palm when you finally met his lust-filled eyes. You tried to distract yourself from the thrill of someone walking over to the balcony and catching you but you couldn’t help but grow louder when you looked down at Sunwoo’s veiny length entering you, slowly pulling out and pushing in twice as fast. High-pitched squeals match each time he hits you where you’re most needed.

“Is that how good I feel?” Raising an eyebrow, impressed at how you were able to nod. “My pretty baby girl taking me so well either way.” 

As much as you’re pushing him closer and closer to painting your walls white, he needs more stimulation. Whether stimulation is given to him or he gives it to you to drive you insane, it doesn’t matter, but Sunwoo has always been one to spoil you. He takes his hand away from your mouth and immediately the volume, moans, whines, groans and pleas you let out are already pushing him one step closer. He increases his pace, skin slapping on each other and leaning over to you, burying his face into the crook of your neck. This decreases the distance between you and him more, and your tender clit gets more attention and love.

“I-I’m so close…” You etched out between broken sobs. 

His eyes shut tight, nodding at your words. “You can do it.” It’s the first time he’s permitted you to completely let go. His thumbs brush over your knuckles, reassuring you that he’s close too and would love you to finish first; he loves spoiling you first before himself. “Come on,” pushing himself faster, “Let go for me,” harder, “Don’t worry, it won’t be your first.”

On cue, the image of him not letting you take a break is the trigger to you cumming, Sunwoo still pulsing around you as you did so. The boy hisses at the throbbing motions as you refuse to let go of his cock, tightly wrapping him around you. His hands tightly grip your wrist, the other pulling you still at the final drag he takes inside you as he empties all of him into you, twitching against your pulsing walls. 

You feel the way he fills you up, chest stuttering and out of breath. Both your eyes widen when he moves again, needy groans filling your ears. “Sunwoo…” He shakes his head, shutting you up with a searing wet kiss. He plays his tongue around yours, drowning all your noises.

“Not yet,” he heaves. Not when he hasn’t fucked his girl in so long. The amount of times he’s jerked himself off to the thought of you, the way you cry for him and the way that his dick is only satisfied with you are the only things that he replayed in his head every night, moaning your name with furrowed eyebrows. 

He retreats inside, sitting on the bed and adjusting his lying position as you sit on him once more. This angle pushes you to your second orgasm, creeping up slowly but surely. Your tightly shut eyes make you appreciate how deep he is as he starts to pound up against you. 

His eyes gazed at your glistening folds and pulsing pussy. "See?" He leans and observes your lacked jaw. "In the end, you don't care where I fuck you," chuckling when you meet his thrust halfway. Your muscle shaping for him makes your hole shake, wetting his length and making it easier for him to slide further. "You just care about me," a thrust up, "and the way that I fuck you wherever you want to," another thrust, "and I guess," an eyebrow raises as he prepares his next move, "whenever I want to fuck you."

Sunwoo gets you ready for another release, teasing your sensitive bud by rubbing, flicking and pinching your folds as he pounds into you. This is the first time he's seen your expression from below, and the image is so much better than seeing you under him. In the end, he's just a boy who wants to see how you can move yourself to match his thrust. His dick only hardens with the fact that you're so fucked out that you're unable to fully grind against him.

"F-Fuck me..." Chest heaving at his control. "O-Oh-" He found it. The place that makes you fold for him every time. Your grip flies to his shoulder, eye contact never faltering other than when your eyes shut at the tears rolling down your cheek. Sunwoo aims there each time and you let out choked screams at the building pleasure. "S-Shit.” The stimulation makes the sex easier, eyes widening at the intense pleasure.

"Shit," he smirks at your tightly shut eyes, bottom lip trapped between your teeth. "Don't hurt yourself, baby girl," cupping your cheek and pulling your bottom lip. "Let me hear you," Sunwoo increased the pace of his hips and swirls your tender clit, and you had no choice but to follow his orders. "You're so fucked out and beautiful."

You whine at his words, squeals bouncing around the room when Sunwoo tugs on your nipple with his teeth. He fondles every part of you with intense want, intense need. The added attention is when your lower body starts to tense and relax uncontrollably, gushing out the startings of your liquid and the smacks of your body becoming louder and more accurate each second. Your neck falls, and screams hit the ceiling.

He hums against the valley between your breasts, "Does my sweet girl want to cum again?"

"Yes!"

His hand cups your jaw, directing your pleading gaze to his similar ones. "Can she promise me that she'll contact me more and won't deprive me of this sweet pussy?"

"Yes!"

Despite the need, he knows your words hold truth. "I'm gonna cum inside you. Need your body to remember a part of me."

You don't object to that as he pulls you to another kiss, muffling and taking your moans down his throat. It's not long before your body swallows his second load inside, overflowing onto the sheets that he for sure would love to take home; maybe even replacing his as he jerks off to your scent. Your body falls slack after but Sunwoo doesn't pull out again. Your walls pulsate around him and it's when you realise that he's not getting any softer inside of you.

You realised the implications of that, "Fuck-"

You’re flipped against the mattress in a clean sweep, head now comfortably deep into the pillow and Sunwoo re-enters as soon as you hit the bed. "You've been ignoring my calls for too long and I’m way too deprived of you right now," Both wrists are pinned under his open palms, "And this dick needs some more love from his home, baby girl."

navi/masterlist!! 🤍

tags: @deoboyznet 📢❤️ @k-labels 💙🤍 @k-films 🤎🎞️ @kflixnet 📺🍿 @starlit-network 🌌⭐

[katanablue]

Hi, could i get a bayverse leo x gn reader? :) Leo has been crushing on the reader and as an attempt to get to know them better he invites them into the dojo to teach them some moves.

He wasn’t sure what to expect but ultimately falls for them harder when he realizes how muscular they are. They’re short with toned arms, back, and thunder thighs he never noticed before since they tend to wear more flowy/oversized clothing.

It could be sfw or nsfw. Whatever you have the motivation for!

-🦉🌸

ASK AND YOU SHALL RECEIVE BABE, I need to write more for Bayverse. I got some ideas in mind 🧐

Leo knows better than most than to judge a book by its cover; to take things with a grain of salt and feel it out before placing any impressions upon the first few seconds, even though those beginning initial moments are crucial.

And he should’ve put those practices on you, his friend and recently turned crush.

He thought you were so lovely, with your lively laughter whenever Mikey told a joke, your curiosity piquing when Don went all brainiac explaining his latest invention, or when Raph and Casey talked about their latest goon run and you shifted into their number one cheerleader.

He wanted to get to know you on a deeper level, finding it hard to get any sort of personal one on one time with you since Mikey tended to grab you as soon as you came into the Lair.

Today he was determined to do so, waiting by the entrance and occupying himself with cleaning his swords while he rehearsed how he was going to go about his little plan for you.

He asked you last week if he could do some training with you, wanting to teach you some moves just in case you ever found yourself in trouble and they couldn’t get to you in time. Of course he wanted you to know how to get yourself out of sticky situations, but deep down he couldn’t deny the fact that the opportunity to get closer to you physically was very enticing.

He’s mindlessly wiping his katana when he sees you from the corner of his eye coming in. He puts his weapon down and turns to greet you.

“Hey, glad you could—“

Leo was one that prided himself in being able to mask his emotions, able to hide even the most minuscule of twitches that crossed his eyes or mouth. But one look at you put all of that to the test.

He was used to seeing you in baggy clothing; oversized T-shirts and flowy pants because you stated that it was more comfortable to move around in and who was he to argue with that?

His eyes nearly bulge out of his head when you came strutting in wearing form fitting shorts and a tank top, showing off your very impressive muscles and thick thighs that he had absolutely no idea about. He takes a moment to clear his throat, plastering on a welcoming smile for you.

“Hey, you made it.”

You grin brightly at him, continuing to walk until you’re close enough to reach out and touch. “Yeah! Wouldn’t miss a ‘Leo Lesson’ for anything.”

It’s a silly little statement but one that makes his chest tighten just a bit. He smiles at you again, gesturing with a sweep of his arm for you to lead the way to the dojo.

It was just a quick lesson— he’s a ninja for Christ’s sake, is he really gonna let the sight of your physique get him distracted?

—-

Leo was never a religious man but if he had to chose a time to believe in any or all gods, it would be now.

You picked up on his demonstrations fairly quick, replaying it back to Leo and then trying it out on him. The leader in blue had to bite his tongue to refrain from complimenting your muscles, even though it would be perfectly normal in a scenario like this. God, have you always been this toned? Has your back always been that defined? Have your thighs always been—

He’s snapped out of his daydream when you manage to tackle him down and onto his shell, a very harsh grunt sounding into the air from the impact. Leo barely has time to compose himself when he realizes that you’re straddling him, your strong thighs on both sides of his waist and he finds himself instinctively placing his hands on your hips.

You smile down at him, taking heavy breaths to regain yourself, doing your best to ignore the way Leo’s pretty blue eyes stare up at you in a certain way and how his grip on you nearly makes you just bend down and steal a kiss.

“How was that?”

He flexes his three fingers just barely against you, resisting the urge to squeeze harder and feel your flesh mold beneath his touch and—

“Great,” He coughs, internally cursing at the way it came out raspy, “Let’s do it again.”

He was gonna schedule more training sessions with you for sure.

[scarletemeraldpurple]

After Office Hours

Agatha x gn reader

Agatha Harkness is an acclaimed professor at your magical university. You are a student with a heavy courseload, Agatha takes a load off of your mind for awhile.

Notes: hypnosis, trancey language,voice kink?power imbalance, professor/student relationship, Mommy kink.

“I can cast illusions, I can control a feeble mind.” Agatha Harkness had said during a lecture in her class on magical psychology. But she assured her class that they, by virtue of being in her class, had nothing to worry about.

And it was true. She’d never be able to Control your mind, not fully. But that was almost more fun anyway, more of a challenge.

You were a diligent student. Visiting her at least once a week for office hours. She had seen your painstakingly kept little planner. You had a heavy course load this semester. Her class, a taxing multiversal physics course with professor Strange, an advanced ecology course with professor Vidal (both of which had labs), plus upper level Russian with Maximoff. She was quite impressed how you kept up with the 4 professors as well as several extra curriculars.

One week you missed office hours. Your paper was…adequate, but certainly not at the level that she had come to expect from you. The next time she saw you in class, you had had bags under your eyes, and you were slouched over in a hoodie and sweats.

She could see you struggling to focus as she talked, which was very very odd for you. You poor thing, someone oughta help you get some rest.

“Y/N? Could you stay behind for a minute?” She said as your peers filed out at the end of the block.

“Of course professor.” You said nervously, fiddling with your sleeve.

She sat on the edge of the desk. “You don’t seem quite yourself, everything alright?”

Professor Harkness was not nearly the hardass everyone had made her out to be, at least she wasn’t that way with you. Nonetheless, she was quite intimidating, she was powerful and confident. And it didn’t help that she was gorgeous.

And you couldn’t help it, as embarrassed as you were, when the tears spilled from your eyes. You hadn’t been sleeping. You had been working so hard. You wanted to achieve. God how were you going to get through this.

“Oh my dear, come let’s talk in my office shall we?”

She placed a hand on your shoulder gently as she led you to her office. Instead of sitting you at the chair across from her desk, like a normal meeting, she led you to the couch in the back of the room.

You took your book bag off, a literal weight lifted off of you. And she brought over some tissues.

Agatha sat down next to you, not too close (not yet anyway), and gently rubbed your back.

The comfort triggered more tears from you.

“Oh angel. It’s okay let it out. Take your time.” She soothed you. “But you do need to breathe. Can you take a nice deep breath for me?”

You nodded and did as she asked. In, hold, out.

“Good, very good.”

“I’m so sorry professor.”

“Ssh, nothing to be sorry for.”

She cautiously put her arm around you properly and squeezed your shoulder.

You had to stop yourself from leaning into her side. She smelled nice, sweet, with something warm underneath. Her touch felt nice. Her voice was so soothing.

“Under a lot of stress aren’t you dear?”

“I mean aren’t we all?” You half chuckled.

“Perhaps, doesn’t make it any easier does it though?”

“No ma’am.”

Agatha chuckled. “Always so polite. You’re my favorite student you know?”

You blushed and looked down at your hands. “I don’t know if you’re supposed to have favorites.”

“Maybe not. But that doesn’t exactly stop anybody. Anyway, obviously I want to see all of my students succeed, but when I see someone as bright as you, as hardworking as you, slip a bit, I have to check in y’know?”

You took a sharp breath in. “I failed that paper didn’t I?”

“No doll, all of your arguments were sound, and supported by evidence, but something tells me you didn’t get the time you would have liked to work on this. And based on the state of the gardens around the school, I’m guessing professor Vidal slammed you guys with a project this week.”

You were tearing up again. “Yeah, and I had so much trouble with the equations for strange this week. And I promised I’d make something for the bake sale for my tarot group…I don’t mean to make excuses—”

“Sshh,” Agatha squeezed you tighter, “you’ve had a lot on your plate dear. I understand. Let’s take another deep breath okay? In. Hold. Out. Very good. Let go of some of that stress. I know it’s been a hard week, you poor thing. But right now you’re just here with me. Let me help you.”

You looked over at her, those deep blue eyes looking back at you. Her fingers started rubbing a spiral into your shoulder. You could feel your attention drawn to her, it wasn’t hard to focus on her. It never was. And it did feel nice to focus on her. It was so easy to listen to her, maybe to easy.”

“You look worried again, dear.”

“Professor…am I feeble minded?”

Agatha couldn’t help but laugh, “no dear, far from it I assure you. What makes you ask such a thing?”

“I—I can feel a pull towards you.”

“And the fact that you’re resisting that pull proves you’re not feeble minded. But that doesn’t mean you can’t sink for me. Doesn’t mean you shouldn’t sink for me. After all, wouldn’t it feel nice? To sink for me, to let me take over for a bit?”

Her free hand held your chin, making sure you stayed facing her. Your faces were so close together.

“It’s…so easy professor, should I be worried? Is this even allowed?” You started to shake off the fuzziness begging to creep through your mind.

“No baby, the point is you don’t worry,” she stroked under your chin, your eyes closed. The pet name and the proximity made your heart beat faster.

Agatha hugged you tightly to her. You timidly put your head on her shoulder.

“There you go,” a hand came to pet your head, “no worries now, just my voice, just my touch. Just keep taking nice steady breaths. So good for me.”

Her hand in your hair felt sooooooo good. Your mind was quieter than it had been in ages.

Agatha pressed a barely there kiss to your forehead. You wanted to pick your head up but her hand in your hair didn’t let you.

“Ssh, no baby, you can’t move right now. You’re far too relaxed. You just have to keep listening to me. Let me lull you even further down, pet.”

You could move, if you really needed to, if you needed to stop this you could. But it felt so good to obey. You knew how the process worked, the ins and outs of hypnosis, you had learned them from her, but those specifics were at the back of your mind. Right now you were relaxed, safe, and mindless.

“That’s right pet. I can feel you loose and limp against me. I don’t know if I’ve ever felt that head of yours so quiet. And you are so very safe with me, my sweet pet.”

Later, later you would confront how you felt when she called you pet. Later you would confront her about everything going on. But right now, it felt good. You were her pet, her obedient pet, and it came so naturally to you.

Agatha bit her lip at the sight of you. Practically helpless against her. Had she caught you on any other day you’d probably have put up more of a struggle. Maybe another day you two could talk about resistance play. But for now, she relished your surrender.

“Sleep now, pet.” She said before pressing another gentle kiss to your forehead.

—

You woke up still on her couch, tucked under a blanket. Agatha was working on next week’s lectures at her desk.

“Hi pet,” she said cheerfully, “sleep well?”

“Yes Mo-“ you slapped a hand over your mouth.

Agatha laughed.

“I wasn’t sure if that suggestion would stick or not while you were sleeping. But maybe I shouldn’t be surprised, you are always so eager to please.”

“This isn’t—I mean we can’t—you could lose your job!!”

Agatha stood up from her desk and sauntered over. “We’ll be smart. Well, I’ll be smart, don’t want you thinking too much now.”

“Professor—” You rejected the suggestion this time. Your anxiety overriding the urge to obey.

Agatha put a finger to your lips “Sh, school day is over, and we have the whole weekend ahead of us. Let Mommy take care of you, pet.”

She stroked your hair gently. “You’ve been such a good pet, don’t you want your reward?”

—

She led you to her car and drove you to her home. You had nothing but your book bag with you.

Her home was very beautiful, but also quite cozy.

“You were awful quiet in the car. And I know it’s not because you weren’t thinking.”

“Just overwhelmed I guess.”

“Poor thing. Are your shoes off? Good. Come, drop your bag there and come over to the couch.”

She sat down first. “Come lay your head in my lap, sweet thing.”

You gingerly laid yourself down as she had asked. You were rewarded with her nails scratching yours scalp.

“Good pet. So obedient. Comes so naturally to you doesn’t it?”

Heat rose to your face.

“Aww, does that embarrass you? How you were just meant to be my pet? You’re Mommy’s good pet, aren’t you?”

“Y-yes.”

“You can do better than that. Whose are you? What are you?”

“I-I’m your good pet.”

“Sooo close angel. I’ll give you one more chance.”

“I-I’m Mommy’s good pet”

“Yes you are! You’re so very good. And good pets get rewarded.” She moved a hand down to your chest, groping at you. You drew in a shaky breath.

“Mmm, you have no idea how long I’ve wanted you baby.”

“Really?”

“Oh god yes baby. I see the way you look at me you know? You don’t even mean to stare, you just can’t help it. You’ve never been able to help but focus on me. And that’s okay. I have you now.” She said with a pinch of your nipple.

You whimpered under her touch and her words.

“And I don’t want you worrying that cute little head of yours when you’re with Mommy. You still need to worry a little with professor Harkness, but you’ve always been such a good student. Once we get you nice and rested you’ll be back on track okay?”

“Thank you…Mommy.”

Agatha’s eyes lit up when you used her title. “Of course baby. Now just let me,” she reached under your t-shirt, and groped at your bare chest.

You shuddered.

“Sensitive little thing hm?” She said with a smile. She traced circles around your nipple with her fingertips and watched you melt underneath her.

She surprised you with a pinched and you arched up into her touch. She bit her lip at the sight.

“I have a slutty little pet on my hands, don’t I?”

You whined in response.

“I think I do, and I wouldn’t have it any other way trust me.”

“Mo-mommy?” You asked shyly.

“Yes pet?”

You looked up at her, eyes drawn to her lips. “Can I kiss you?” You said, voice barely above a whisper.

Agatha smiled. “Of course pet. Come here.”

Her hand wrapped around the back of your head as you sat up to meet her. Her lips as gentle as the tone she used to lull you down into trance. You could just as easily get lost in her kisses. Her tongue slid into your mouth and you moaned. You tangled your fingers in her hair.

A safe, warm feeling settled over you. You were being so good. Mommy’s good pet. Good pets pet Mommy take care of them.

You finally needed air and when you broke apart you saw desire burning in Agatha’s eyes.

She cupped the side of your face, tracing her thumb over your lips, you parted to allow her in.

“Fuck you’re perfect. That’s all you baby, that’s just your instinct isn’t it?”

She loved the embarrassed look in your eyes as she gently degraded you. “And that’s okay. You were just made for me that’s all. Just a good little slut for Mommy.”

You closed your eyes and sucked harder on her thumb.

“Yeah, I know baby. What a good mouth. Oh there are so many things I’d like to do to that mouth. Plenty of time for that. For now though,”

Agatha adjusted you so you were straddling her thigh. She kissed you from the base of your neck all the way up to your ear.

“What I want for right now, is for you to come undone with pleasure,” she husked.

She guided your hips to grind against her. Quickly you moved your hands to grip the back of the couch, steadying yourself.

“No thinking, I’m gonna help you grind your thoughts away. Yeah, you’re just gonna get lost in sensation for a bit for me. That’s a good pet.”

You buried your head in her neck, moving your arms to wrap around her.

“Already so docile for me. I’m gonna have you mewling like a kitten baby.”

“Please keep talking to me Mommy.”

“Oh you sweet thing, I can do that. Need to hear Mommy’s words guiding you through it all? Need me to fill that head up, push all those thoughts away? That’s what I’m here for pet. You can just let go, you can just give in, just hump my leg like the good little pet that you are.”

“Feels so good Mommy.”

“Good, I’m glad baby. Focus on that pleasure, let yourself get hornier and hornier. My words will guide you no matter how far you drift. Keeping you safe. Just feel good baby.”

You couldn’t think, you didn’t want to think. It felt good to give in. It felt good to grind against Mommy. It felt good to be Mommy’s Good Pet.

“Mommy, getting close.”

“Oh yeah? Wanna cum for Mommy?”

“Please!”

“Please what?”

“Please Mommy…ah, can I cum?”

“Such a good pet, cum for me baby. Cum for Mommy.”

You moaned right in her ear, thanking her for letting you cum. You were a practically a rag doll her arms now.

“Oh you did so good today baby. I know this week was hard but you did so good. You deserve to feel good like this.”

She moved you so that you were basically being cradled by her. Your head in the crook of her neck, nuzzling her.

“Sweet pet. You feel so small in my arms like this. Mommy’s got you, you can rest now.”

[klausysworld]

Hey!🥰

Do you think maybe you could do a part 2 to ‘We’ll Go Slow’? Maybe the day Klaus takes her home from the hospital and gets her settled and she’s on bed rest or something. I’m interested to know if his family would go along with it?

Maybe some of her recovery and Yandere!Klaus very clearly manipulating her, making her believe her family kicked her out or something and he’s all she has, but she’s all he has and he worships her. Maybe some smut if you want and some talk of that ‘family they wanted’?

Just a lot of Klaus making everything the exact way he always wanted it but thought he could never have it. Manipulative and loving in his own creepy way.

Unconditionally

PT1

Klaus smiled as he jogged on up the stairs with a ‘get well soon’ teddy bear in his hand. He found that y/n loved his little gifts and acknowledgments.

The y/n he had followed for months was a little different to the y/n she remembers being from however many years ago. She was a lot shyer, less experienced in the world and more innocent. It was perfect, like the gods had handed him her in a golden platter.

He slowed as he got to her ajar door. He composed himself and walked in, seeing her sat up with a book in her hands before she saw him and set it aside.

“Nik” she breathed, a smile spreading across her face

“My love, how are you feeling?” He asked while nearing her bed, poor girl couldn’t walk yet, her spine had been damaged causing many issues with balance and such as well as a shit load of pain. Klaus found it better to carry her or wheel her around, plus the doctors recommended it after seeing the agony she went through. Though he still brought her to physio therapy each week because although he wanted her to be reliant, he felt disgusted with himself at the thought of leaving her quite so helpless, she didn’t deserve to miss out on simple opportunities just because of him. He wanted her to be able to walk with him, to be able to twirl her around and see her run after their children. He wanted her to be able to carry their babies and birth them without such high risk of her spine damage.

She was his angel, his prized possession and he wanted life to be easy for her.

“I feel a little better” she was lying, he knew and so did she, he smiled sadly at her before putting the teddy on her lap.

“For you to snuggle at night” he whispered as his hand reached out to grab her hand gently

“Thank you Niklaus…when will I be able to come lay with you?” She asked softly, the doctors said she needed her own space, bed and although the idea annoyed Klaus, he wouldn’t be the source of her pain.

“Soon my lovely, very soon” he whispered

It took a little while longer for her to be able to be up and about, still with Klaus holding her hand every step of the way.

Of course she became tired rather easily but that was okay, he enjoyed being her support system. Especially now he had convinced her he was her only person. That her family had moved away without her leaving her utterly alone.

She was only all the more grateful to him for staying with her despite her forgetting everything of their love.

She felt guilty for loosing so much of their time and for making him wait to have the life he wanted.

It took many breakdowns for her to finally come to the understanding that Klaus was never going to be mad at her, never leave her, ever.

His heart broke for her each time he realised her mental pain as well as her physical. The way she would sob on the floor about how she didn’t mean to ruin his life and she was sorry she wouldn’t let him touch her like that. But he never once pushed her to let him do that. As much as he desired to have her so intimately, she was fragile and traumatised from the accident. She didn’t know remember him and so he wasn’t ever upset with her reluctance.

Even after another few months when she was nervous about it, he was gentle and understanding.

“It’s not expected of you sweetheart, you never have to do anything you don’t want. I love you, unconditionally.” He told her and it was true. He didn’t care if their relationship was only emotional, he was lucky to have her at all.

But he knew that she wanted to give him more and so he helped her get to a point where she was comfortable.

Where talking of them having kids brought joy to her eyes and she would pull up a list of baby names she loved.

Until eventually she was panting beneath him, her hands holding his as he slowly thrust within her, his lips softly pressing to hers as gentle whispers of praise was whispered through the air to her.

And after nearly two years she finally fell pregnant with their child.

Klaus was over the moon and what was even better was that she was too.

She had insisted on getting the nursery ready as fast as possible, she was overly excited and since finding out she was all over Klaus.

He loved her, he always had and he always would.

[director-yomi-hellsmile]

what r u most excited to see out of the next warriors book question mark emoji

Heh, well, (this also extends towards what I want to see in the arc as a whole, as TEQ is the first book of arc 9 and for the love of god can there please be some meaningful change ever after an arc ends that'd be great)

1. That one territory change tease everyone's talking about

I. Don't like the lake territories. If they're gonna move (and it's. Heavily implied they will (then again the books do have a track record in underwhelming and dissapointing everyone in increasingly ridiculous ways)) because the uhhhh I dunno moonpool is dying or whatever I honestly don't care for the reason as long as they can fucking move already

Originally, the Clans resided in the so-called forest territories, during the first arc, half of the second arc, and every single prequel. The second arc involved it getting destroyed, and the Clans had to Move and that's how they arrived at the lake territories. "Wait but doesn't that mean they're gonna reuse this same plot the second time why does anyone want this" because the lake territories kinda suck lol

Like. I liked the forest territories they worked well. Ok hold on look at this thing

Color coded all Clan territories, everything else is either a communal/sacred/unclaimed ground. Can you notice something about it. All the Clan's borders touch somewhat, they all are next to and have access to each other and can just walk anywhere.

RiverClan's and WindClan's borders touch even if they are separated by a river, RiverClan can always just swim through it so they can attack them like they did many times then. WindClan and ShadowClan are separated by a road but can just pass it and duke it out on either side, they are explicitly said to be enemies for an extremely long time. ShadowClan and ThunderClan, again, are separated by a road, but ThunderClan can literally walk over it and ShadowClan has a whole secret passage below it which is how they've been assaulting each other so efficiently. ThunderClan and RiverClan have history going to war with each other over those rocks which they both can easily access just like the rest of their borders, TC cats don't even have to swim through the river they even got a convenient little bridge nearby. ThunderClan also shares a border with WindClan, they can easily just step over it to either aid or fight them. ShadowClan and RiverClan look like they might not be able to access each other, which yeah it is a bit harder which is why I think it's been noted they aren't as hostile with each other, however, again, all they have to do in order to be able to access them is to 1) walk over the road 2) walk through fourtrees in either order and that's literally what happens. First ShadowClan hunted in their river that way, and then they literally united to form TigerClan.

Like. All of them can interact with minimal problem. There is no physical barrier that's actually separating them aside from the law.

Not to mention that it just. Feels like a place that exists and has history. Biggest example being the sunningrocks, which ThunderClan and RiverClan both fought over, it's so disputed even the fandom is arguing over who it actually belongs to. There's the owl tree, the great sycamore, snakerocks, sandy hollow, tallpines, that are distinct pieces of TC territory even without any fights happening there. (I. Actually got no idea whether the books say the treecut place is TC territory or part of the twolegplace). ShadowClan has the carrionplace and the burnt sycamore, WindClan has the outlook rock and the gorge on the border with RiverClan, which has an island, a barn nearby, stepping stones, probably something else I forgot. Red marker is like, notable areas where battles took place I kinda forgor for this one also there were some missing from the wiki I feel like there's not enough of them there sowwy

Basically there are Places. I know, that's fucking huge right,

Ok now let's see. The lake territories.

(i hate this new map artstyle i cant fuckibg see anything)

Did you notice anything. Is it perhaps. The huge fucking lake in the middle .

Okay I will refrain from talking about the Huge Fucking Lake In The Middle yet. First, the borders are fucking confusing and literally change and switch around in supplementary material set inbetween the arcs. I do not know how much territory SkyClan has the only thing we know about it is that their camp is inbetween ShC and TC borders. It used to be more comprehensible to me because actually at first they were positioned directly in-between ShC and TC however one arc they just randomly fucking changed locations with no explanation aside from a paragraph saying FIND OUT WHY SKYCLAN MOVED THE FUCKING CAMP IN OUR NEW SUPPLEMENTARY MATERIAL SUPER EDITION COMING OUT NEXT YEAR I fucking hate it here also that book sucked balls

The borders are hardly defined and RiverClan cats randomly teleport in ThunderClan territory despite the fact that in order to access it, the shortest possible path - which STILL would be ridiculously long for these cats to just walk continuously - they could take is to walk the whole way across ShadowClan territory first, because of THE HUGE FUCKING LAKE IN THE MIDDLE

Fuck the lake I am the lake's biggest hater. I hate that fuckass body of water. So you know how all of the Clans could easily interact back at the forest territories??? Well too bad because now that's been thrown out the window thanks to the Huge Fucking Lake In The Middle blocking off literally all of them .

Prior to the arrival of SkyClan, the Clans now only had two neighbors whose territory they could access as opposed to back in the forest territories they had three, aka all of the remaining ones. ThunderClan and RiverClan literally cannot interact anymore. ShadowClan and WindClan are blocked off from each other completely. Because of the Huge Fucking Lake In The Middle that makes it impossible now.

It also doesn't fucking make sense for convenience's sake regarding the main two communal grounds, the holy place aka moonpool, and the gathering area aka the island. In order to access the island and go to the gathering every month, literally every single Clan besides RiverClan has to go through a whole fucking life-changing journey that also requires them to walk directly through RiverClan in order to get to the fucking island, rip to ThunderClan I guess but they just have to walk over the entire half of This Huge Fucking Lake In The Middle every time they want to go to a gathering that's just never overly elaborated on. Oh and the moonpool. Only ThunderClan and WindClan have easy access to it, if you are from literally any other Clan you're gonna have to walk through BOTH TC's/WC's entire fucking territory and half of the entire Huge Fucking Lake That's In The Middle. And the medcats have to do this shit TWICE a month. It's also never elaborated on much either because why the fuck

Of course, the Huge Fucking Lake In The Middle massively limits the amount of fights that these "warrior" cats can get into because now they can apparently only have conflict with two Clans at a time. So, where are the current lake territory then? Nowhere apparently.

There are.... No disputed areas like sunningrocks anymore. I mean, the clearing could be kind of considered one, but also not really, because they fought over it literally Once and then never again also it was originally just gifted to ShC by TC. ThunderClan and WindClan used to fight a lot at first, but it's mostly because Onestar was mad at them, and not because they wanted any particular land from each other.

There were some notable fights though! And literally all of them except for one involved ThunderClan. Well there was the aforementioned one (1) ShadowClan-ThunderClan battle at the clearing. There was also a ThunderClan-WindClan by the tunnels on TC territory. There was also a....... *squints* an all four-Clan wide battle on ThunderClan territory? What the fuck did Onestar pay RiverClan in to make them walk all the. Nevermind. Whatever I'm fine I'm fine.

Warrior cats from the books called "Warriors" known as the books where cats fucking fight, don't even fight each other like they used to. Back in my time they were all dying in wars every week now they think that war is "bad" now apparently and will not do it anymore. Because of woke

The lake territories are also just............ Boring. Like, in the original forest territories I could list so many of their landmarks meanwhile the lake is just completely devoid of any of that. The only thing that belongs to any Clan that I remember being even remotely interesting and relevant at all were the tunnels under ThunderClan and WindClan, and we don't see them any more since the fourth arc ended. Oh and there's also the abandoned twoleg den in TC that Jayfeather uses as a garden to grow his little weed in. And uhhh.... That's it that's literally it nothing else matters I can't fucking rember

It's legitimately such a downgrade from the forest territories. Everyone in the fandom pretty much prefers the forest territories because shit fucking happened in them. So yeah I'm fine if they reuse the moving plot in this one. I want them to go settle in some new hopefully more interesting and easily accessible by all Clans place please can we do that. Can we just start over. Throw out the whole lake please . Also the whole moving plot would also be good because then during the journey all the Clans would be forced to interact with each other more lmao

2. Possible mass death event that's kinda teased by the Mystery Sickness

These cats need to die and if not in war then during the PLAGUES

I cheered and clapped when the SkyClan cats started getting terribly sick and it was revealed that shit was contagious when I was reading the preview. Yessss babes go spread that shit around!!!! Especially to ThunderClan!!!!!! Kill everybody!!!!

The Clans (ESPECIALLY THUNDERCLAN) are fucking overpopulated with background nobodies that just take up space in the allegiances. Hold on let me bring out the numbers.

In the first book of the first arc, and the first one in the series, ThunderClan had 31 cats, counting Rosetail and the unnamed kits. Pretty reasonable size for a Clan I'd say.

In the first book of the third arc, ThunderClan now had 34 cats. Most of them got some reasonable amounts of focus during the story so at no point did I feel like anyone was really "taking up space". The Clans in total then, all had 79 cats combined, going off of the allegiances list.

Currently? ThunderClan has 52 cats. That's a fucking LOT. And half of them have no relevance whatsoever and only exist to just Be there in the background.

RiverClan has 24 cats. WindClan has 30 cats. ShadowClan has 36 cats. SkyClan has 38 cats.

Combined? That's 180 motherfucking cats.

Please literally kill of at LEAST a half of them I'm begging yall. The cast is too fucking big and literally no one is getting any development or relevance or relationships because of that unless they're the main character. Warrior cats don't die like they used to anymore .

3. Ok now besides really wanting people to fight and die I also uhhh. Moonpaw [ominous sound cue]

I think everyone has been made aware of my month long Moonpawposting by now lmao

I want to see what they'll do with her and her funky headmate even if I know it probably won't be pretty if we're going off of the blurb and their track record, I'm just sitting there by the highway with my popcorn ready waiting for a car crash to happen. She's become somewhat of a blorbo to me even if I knew her for one chapter from the preview

Like. So much can go wrong. They're probably gonna fuck her up real hard and also I kinda care more about The Voice than her. Sorry I think her headmate is just so silly and has like, 2x more personality than her. Sorry Moonpaw. And while I don't trust the writers on this one I gotta say that the fandom so far has been WAY nastier about her + her chimerism than the actual books themselves. Like I'm passionate about Moonpaw like. I did write all these posts in my Moonpaw fueled rage

But yeah I. Wanna witness the the Moonpaw :3

[brighttears]

The Day the Music Died

Joel Miller x f!reader

no physical description

summary: Joel and Ellie have made it to Jackson and are getting used to not being so sacred all the time. Someone has figured out a way to get some music going and there's a dance at the Tipsy Bison.

warnings: (light) drinking, mentions of death

word count: 2.9k

a/n: i have never posted fan fiction anywhere so bear with me. feedback appreciated

—

Ellie walked towards the Tipsy Bison, attracted by the unfamiliar sounds coming from inside. She knew music of course, but not what she heard from the bar, and there was something else–laughter, chatter; the sound of joy. The windows glowed a flickering gold, standing out against the quiet, dusk-gray streets. 

She slowly pushed the door open and peeked inside. The bar was packed, she thought it had to be at least most of the people in Jackson. Maria had stopped by earlier to let her know that there was going to be a dance at the bar. Ellie was immediately reluctant. 

“Dancing…?” She replied, raising her eyebrows at Maria. 

“Yeah, Jonathan found a way to get some music on. Used to work at RadioShack.” she chuckled, “I almost forgot what it sounded like. Come on. It’ll be fun.” She smiled.

Ellie sighed, not moving from her perch on the window bay. “Okay... maybe later. Maybe.” 

Maria paused. “Alright. Whenever you're ready, come on down.”

She got bored. She couldn't dance and she didn't want to, but curiosity was killing her, and if Joel was on the dancefloor, she’d never forgive herself if she missed it.

The atmosphere made Ellie stop in the doorway, eyes wide. She spotted Maria standing next to Tommy by the bar, facing the floor which had been cleared of tables and chairs, smiling wide and clapping along to the song filling the air.

She slowly made her way towards them and looked out on the floor, covered in dancing pairs; couples, kids and parents, anyone and everyone. When Maria noticed her come up next to her, she pointed to one couple in particular and a grin bloomed on Ellie’s face. 

It was Joel and y/n. 

This was a special sight—Joel was fucking dancing. 

Ellie laughed as she watched, the sound covered up by the music, chatter, laughter, and feet tapping the wood floor.

They moved like magnets, and Joel’s eyes focused on y/n in a way Ellie had never seen. It touched something in her and she realized that it reminded her of the way she'd looked at Riley. 

Joel had y/n in his arms, one hand holding hers in the air and the other on her waist while she held onto his shoulder. The floor moved like waves, couples in sync. 

The song, Ellie had never heard, but she liked it, even though the lyrics were weird. 

Did you write the book of love

And do you have faith in God above

If the bible tells you so?

Joel was smiling, laughing, his eyes wrinkling at the edges in a way that Ellie didn't know they could. 

They were swinging around the dancefloor, doing footwork that Ellie knew was a thing but had never seen. A waltz?

“I knew you wouldn't be able to resist this.” Maria said, smiling wide, just like everybody else, before Tommy swept her up and onto the dancefloor.

I started singing bye-bye, Miss American Pie

Drove my Chevy to the levee but the levee was dry

Them good ol' boys were drinking whiskey 'n rye

Singin' "this'll be the day that I die

This'll be the day that I die"

Ellie felt a disconnect as she watched. This song she’d never heard that everyone else seemed to know by heart, this dance that came so naturally, and Joel so focused on someone else.

She didn't expect the jealousy that came over her ever since they got to Jackson and Joel started spending time with his brother, away from her. 

She loved seeing him so happy, she really did, but she felt a twinge inside of her. 

This was a glimpse into a world she'd missed out on. 

She glanced behind her and hopped up onto a stool at the bar. She glanced behind her again and then looked around her. Everyone was plenty distracted, so Ellie grabbed a bottle and a glass from behind the bar, poured herself some whisky, spilling a little, and quickly downed it. Her face turned up and she pounded her chest and coughed. “Still gross. I don’t know why I keep trying."

Ellie couldn’t help but keep her eyes Joel and y/n. This was a brand new side of him. He looked so vulnerable; it was something about his eyes, the way they looked into y/n’s. She looked back into his just the same. 

The floor slowed as the music did.

And in the streets, the children screamed

The lovers cried and the poets dreamed

But not a word was spoken

The church bells all were broken

The two had slowed, tightened, locked into each other.

Joel’s smile had faded, he looked more serious, but his face remained relaxed. She barely recognized the man she saw on the floor, so close to someone, so relaxed. They held each other like it was what they were made to do. 

And the three men I admire the most

The Father, Son, and the Holy Ghost

They caught the last train for the coast 

The day the music died

They slowed to almost stillness. Joel’s brow was furrowed slightly, his mouth still so relaxed, his eyes still focused on y/n. He looked raw and almost tragic. Ellie thought she should look away, it felt like such a private moment, but she couldn't tear her eyes away. She was fascinated with this side of Joel. 

Ellie thought the song was over, but then what sounded like everyone in the building started singing,

Bye-bye Miss American Pie

Drove my Chevy to the levee but the levee was dry

Them good ol’ boys were drinking whisky and rye

Singin’ “this’ll be the day that I diiieeee”

With the last strum of guitar, the room broke out in shouts and applause. Ellie was a little startled by the volume, she had never been in a room with so many people being so loud. She reflexively tightened up, ready to run from the inevitable threat of infected, but looking out to the floor filled with such warm, carefree joy, seeing how safe they all felt, she relaxed. She let herself enjoy the moment. 

As another song started playing, Joel and y/n broke and laughed. Ellie felt a mystery pang in her chest as she watched Joel laughing like that. 

They drifted over to the bar, reluctantly releasing their hands but acting like it was nothing. Ellie filled her cup again with whiskey and slid down next to Joel. 

“Wow, that was really somethin’,” she smirked and offered the glass to Joel. He took it, hesitated, and set the glass down on the bar. 

“Didn’t think you were gonna come.” he said, unable to wipe the smile off of his face.

“Yeah, not really my scene. But I never would have forgiven myself if I missed out on you… dancing.”

Joel shook his head and chuckled. 

“Are you drunk…?” Ellie asked. 

Joel kept his eyes to the floor with a smile still glued on his lips. “Nope. Just happy.”

Ellie didn’t say anything for a moment.

“Soooo… can I drink that?”

“Drink what?” y/n interjected, leaning past Joel, also smiling wildly at Ellie. She looked down at the glass of whiskey, “No fucking way.” Ellie started to protest, but y/n stopped her, “You don’t want fucking whiskey. I’ll make you something way better.”

Ellie grinned in surprise as y/n slid behind the bar and started mixing her a drink.

Y/n set down a glass of water that sparkled and popped, which to Ellie looked like witch magic, poured in something red, and topped it with the brightest cherry Ellie had ever seen. She spun back behind her and grabbed a bottle, spun back to Ellie, set the bottle down and smirked at her. She raised her eyebrows up and down and poured a shot of vodka into the drink, then picked up the glass and set it down in front of Ellie. Ellie grinned in surprise as she picked up the glass. She took a long sip, grimacing only a little and smiled wide at y/n.

“That’s all she’s gettin’ though. I don’t want you pukin’ everywhere.” Joel looked at y/n and then at Ellie, “…Whad'ya think?” 

“Definitely better than that other shit. Why are you drinking that all the time when you can have this?”

“Cause I’m an adult… adults have different tastes. Whisky tastes like that so 14 year olds won’t drink it. And if that was straight vodka, you’d spit it right back up. That grenadine shit is just sugar. ‘Course you like it.”

“Grenadine and maraschino cherries are also much harder to come by these days. Moonshine tastes like shit but it’s more apocalypse friendly.” Added y/n.  

Maria and Tommy appeared in front of them “Is that alcohol?” Maria asked, disapprovingly. “It’s a Shirley Temple with just a shot of vodka. She’ll get a buzz, at best.” Y/n reassured her. 

“Oh, come on, I should be able to get drunk. There’s no way I could ever get away with it out there,” Ellie motioned, meaning outside the walls of Jackson, “besides, I’ll have all of you to protect me from… whatever bad stuff happens when people get drunk.”

Maria giggled, “‘Whatever bad stuff happens when people get drunk?’”

“YEAH, I don’t fuckin’ know, if nothing bad happens why is everyone so fucking scared of me drinking? They told us we’d get, like, thrown out onto the street if they caught us drinking at FEDRA school. What’s the big deal?”

“Trust me, Ellie, you’re not missing out on much. It’s fun for a minute until you start throwing up, taking off all your clothes and peeing on the floor.” Y/n told her.

“What?” Joel and then everyone else broke out in laughter, except for y/n, who threw her hands up.

Tommy said, “Oh, shut up Joel, like you haven’t done shit like that. You know, I had to pick him up from a bar once, needed three guys to get him up and into the car. Fuckin’ droolin’ and cryin’ all over me. Felt like tryna get a newborn to bed.” They all laughed hard.

“Fuck off, Tommy. Like--like you’re one to talk! Can’t tell ya how many times I had to get this sonabitch outta jail cause he drank too much and started swingin’ at anyone in a five foot radius.” 

“Ok, ok, jeez, I’ll stick to the grenadine.” 

Another song started over the speakers and y/n gasped, “I LOVE this song, someone please come dance with me.” 

The bar had emptied a couple hours later. Y/n wouldn’t leave until she got Ellie to dance with her and Maria. After a couple songs, Maria decided that’s all she could handle at a good few months pregnant, so she, Ellie, and y/n all left together. Joel and Tommy had stayed to clean up and close down. 

They talked at the bar for a while after everyone had gone.

“I’m surprised you’re still conscious, sittin’ in front of this open bar all night.” Tommy laughed. Joel chuckled and looked down at his hands. 

“Me too, honestly. I guess I didn’t have a reason to drink tonight. I was… I had fun.” He said, turning to his brother with a smile. “You know, I don’t remember the last time I said that.” 

Tommy just looked at him, smiling. Then he said, “You know, it was weird when I got here to Jackson. It almost… disturbed me, to see people happy like that. Kids laughin’. So fuckin’ young, not a care in the world. It felt wrong.” He shook his head. “All these years… without all that. Sure, we had laughs here and there. And it’s not like this place is paradise; it took years for them to get it secure, safe enough, for people to be able to laugh like that." He paused. "I’m real glad you made it here, Joel.” 

“Me too. Worth the journey.”

“You know, I haven’t seen you look like you did tonight in… hell, over 20 years.” Tommy sighed, trying to read Joel’s eyes, which were cast back down to his hands.

There were a few beats of silence before Joel spoke.

“Did I ever tell you the first time I… Ellie and I met her?”

“No.”

Joel sighed and looked up. 

“Few months before we got here. It was startin’ to get cold. Ellie and I found some old motel to hole up in, sleep for a night, see if we could find anythin’. We were low on food. I thought I checked every room but, fuck me, I was tired. It’d been days… well, the next day we looked around some, as soon as we found somethin’ we ate. We were just fuckin’ hungry. I was startin’ to get scared we were gonna…” Joel shook his head. “We got lucky. I got fuckin’ lucky. I didn’t hear her until she cocked her gun. Standin’ in the doorway with a magnum pointed right at me. She had a dog, too. Told us she wasn’t gonna hurt us, that she’d been watchin’ us since we got there, that she knows we’re out of food, and then she threw a can of fucking Campbell’s at me.” They chuckled. “I asked her later why she did that. She said it was the kid. And she said she saw somethin’ 'bout me,” He furrowed his brow. “She said she knows I would’ve shot her if I wanted to, but… well, I didn’t, obviously.” He shifted in his seat and took a long pause. “She said she was just sorta wanderin’, she had a group–all girls–but they ran into some trouble in the city and it was just her and the dog left. Lefty, was the dog’s name, cause he had his left ear gone, they didn't know how. They just found him and took him in, I guess. Anyway. She found the motel a couple days before we got there and looted it, found food, not much else. Bunch of fuckin’ money,” Joel chuckled, “Amazing how fuckin’ useless it is now. Just paper. So she had all this food and she saw us, hadn’t seen a kid in a long time, she said. And she said… she said I had kind eyes.” 

Tommy laughed, “I think she’s the only fuckin’ person that would say that about you.”

“I know!” Joel laughed. “Anyway. She shared her supplies with us, we stayed at the motel a day or two. I told her I was going to find my brother. I don’t know why the fuck I told her that. I’d known her for one goddamn day. I didn’t tell her about Ellie yet, though. Told her she was someone else’s kid that I’d promised I’d take care of. Not that far from the truth. So she was with us for a couple weeks, we ran into some trouble, got separated. Her dog got shot. I figured she was dead, figured I’d never see her again. But I spotted her at the stables the second day we were here.” Joel smiled. 

Tommy waited for more. “That’s it?”

“Whad’ya mean ‘that's it’?”

“Ok, ok. If that’s all you wanna say about it.” “What? That's it! I asked if you knew how we met her.”

“Ok, ok. That does answer some questions, though. I was surprised you started takin’ to someone as fast as you did with her. But I get it. What I wanna know, though, is what got you dancin’ with her like that?” Joel smiled and shook his head. 

“Joel,” Tommy waited until he looked at him. “I gotta say… I don’t think I’ve ever seen you look at anyone like that. Not even Sarah’s mom.” 

Joel cleared his throat. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to bring that up.” Tommy said quickly. 

“No, it’s alright.” He took a long breath and a smile started creeping up on his face. He looked down, chuckled, shook his head, and then it faded. “Tommy… it’s so fuckin’ scary… caring about someone, now. That’s the thing I’m most scared of. I didn’t want to take Ellie when Marlene asked us to. Tess made that decision. And then she died, and she made me promise to keep going with her… Tommy, it scares me so much sometimes that I can’t breathe. But you can’t just turn that off, caring about someone. I don’t know, Tommy. You’re right. I… I’ve never felt like this about anyone else before. Horrible, horrible fuckin’ timing. But… and I… I hate myself for even thinkin’ this, I know it’s wrong, but…” He shook his head. “I just… I don’t know if I would have met her if… the world hadn’t fallen apart, you know? It’s not like I’m grateful for it, fuck no. But…” he shook his head again.

“Hey,” Tommy interjected, “I met Maria 20 years into the world falling apart. Hell, I’m havin’ a fuckin’ kid with her. I get it.” “Tommy I… I just can’t fuckin’ help it. She’s just got this hold on me. And now that I’ve lost her and I got her back, I can’t imagine… I just don’t ever want to lose her again. I just never want to be without her.” Joel looked his brother in the eyes, brow furrowed. Tommy pursed his lips and nodded. 

They both looked back down after a moment. Then Joel reached over the bar, poured himself a shot of whiskey, threw it back, and said “Alright. It’s late.”

“Yeah, we better close up. We should do this again though, don’t ya think?”

“Yeah. I missed music.”

[affectiondeficitdisorder]

Surviving Withdrawal: Tricks and Tips to Get You Off the Floor

by Ethlie Ann Vare

Three women of whom I’m very fond (note: my 5th grade English teacher would be proud of that sentence construction…) ended relationships recently. One was after 8 years, one after 2 years, one after 2 months. One was her idea, one was mutual, one got dumped. But, but as the late John Bradshaw reminded us in his early work on codependency, abandonment is painful no matter who is doing the abandoning. These women are all in withdrawal, and withdrawal sucks. I feel sad for all of them.

The one hit the hardest is the one mourning the 2-month-long relationship. That doesn’t surprise me; those fresh infatuation chemicals, the ones that produce that delicious feeling of limerence, are the most intoxicating of all. The higher you get, the harder you crash. That’s just physics. Anyway, I don’t think the intensity of withdrawal has much to do with the length of the relationship, or the health of the relationship, or for that matter the other person in the relationship. I think it is all about the level of love addiction in the person doing the withdrawing.

I am not and never have been here to give relationship advice; you would be an idiot to take it. I have been married and divorced three times. I am not good at maintaining relationships. But I am pretty good at helping people get through withdrawal. So, as the nice man said as I was lifting my bag into the overhead compartment, let me help you with that.

First and most important: Withdrawal is a physical reaction to an emotional event. All those lovely neurotransmitters the relationship provided are draining from our brains like water escaping a leaky bucket. I always say that withdrawal is closer to a nicotine fit than to clinical depression. It’s depressing, yes. But that’s not the same thing. Withdrawal feels like the flu. It makes you nauseous and gives you headaches. You have no appetite. I’ve had withdrawals where I couldn’t sleep because of the scenarios whirling around my hamster head (“I should have said that, and then he would have said that, and then I would have said that and then he would have said that…”) and some where I didn’t have the energy to do anything but sleep. 

These symptoms are not unlike a hangover (withdrawal from alcohol) or being dopesick (withdrawal from heroin) except for the "I should have said that” part. It’s because our bodies strive for homeostasis, or balance. We get too hot, we sweat to cool off. We get dehydrated, we gulp water. Our bodies strive to balance pH and liver enzymes and God knows it strives to balance neurotransmitters, which is why you can’t stop obsessing about phoning the person just to hear the sound of their voice because the sound of their voice will flood your brain with happy hormones and you will be able to finally fucking exhale.

Then you have to withdraw all over again when the object of your obsession still doesn't want to love you forever. So I don’t recommend that. Plenty of people opt for finding someone else to make you feel good. “Getting over someone by getting under someone else,” as advice columnist Dan Savage puts it. I consider that the dubious luxury of normal men, to quote the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous. For one thing, it’s not nice to use another person just to make me feel better. For another, it isn’t very reliable and usually doesn't last - we only found ourselves back where we were before, and worse, to quote Cocaine Anonymous literature.

So how do we achieve homeostasis, how do we supplement our brains with the stuff it’s withdrawing from? The good news is, we can get high on our own supply. We are our own best drug dealers. 

You miss the dopamine that comes from the excitement and anticipation of a new romance? Dopamine is all about novelty and anticipation… maybe a touch of danger thrown in, which is why illicit affairs are so intense. What about skydiving, or rollercoasters, or scuba? Any time you try something new and challenging you are squirting dopamine, be it snake-charming or pickleball. Tame a horse. Climb one of those weird rock walls in the mall.

Serotonin is the mood leveler. It’s the security that comes from feeling connected to a partner. You know what else produces serotonin? Sunlight. Get your ass outside. Good quality protein is also a great serotonin booster: hit the tofu if you’re vegan, salmon if you’re not. Get a massage, take a bubble bath, get a pedicure. Socialize. You want some great happy hormones coursing through your body? Join a choir. Community and the music taken together are like medicine.

You notice I am not recommending actual medicine for any of this. For one thing, I am not a doctor. For another, in my experience drugs are rarely a good solution for addiction.

Last and most notable in its absence is oxytocin. Oxytocin is what we get from those long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days (okay, kids, what am I quoting this time?) Also orgasm. Oxytocin is the Cuddle Chemical, it’s Love Potion Number 9. It’s irreplaceable… but it can be supplemented. Hugging is a great oxytocin release. Hug your family, hug your friends, hug the people in your church group or 12-step meeting - in a safe, non-sexual way, of course. Even Zoom meetings help, since eye contact itself increases oxytocin. Prolonged eye contact with a dog increased human oxytocin levels by 300% in controlled study! Definitely hug a dog. (Or a cat, if you must.)

I have one more recommendation to share, a trick that reliably increases all of these hormones. You’re going to hate it. It sounds dull and old-fashioned and not sexy at all. The trick is… being of service. Volunteering. Giving to charity. I know, I know. It sounds simplistic and goody-two-shoes. But there are good solid studies that show the fastest way to get yourself out of fetal position on the floor is to do something nice for somebody else. Random acts of kindness. It couldn't hurt, and it might help more than you know.

Or you could go with the snake thing.

[coffeeandcalligraphy]

LONAN KILLS REEVE IN SV?!?!!!

HE DOES LOL

explanation & excerpts under the cut! <3

CW: murder/death/torture/trauma

okay so I am the DRAMA--obviously Reeve is still alive, but she does technically die and only survives what happens because of Harrison (king <3).

TL;DR: Lonan is brainwashed by his tyrannical family & is sent on a literal mission to kill his sister. He does, but Harrison "revives" her with his magic (the icon the legend the man himself).

More details: So back in 2015 when I was writing book 3 of the original series, Lonan was ALSO brainwashed, but by his other sister Anna and Anna's girlfriend Kate who were mad at him for some reason (I can't remember why exactly, everyone is mad at Lonan in that book LOL). The logistics of how this was done are quite fuzzy because I was 13 :) but essentially think of Lonan as a bluetooth speaker who could be controlled remotely! <3

In this state, Lonan almost kills Reeve a couple of times (and this is when they love each other! not when they don't know they're siblings and have been trying to murder each other!). This DEEPLY upsets him and becomes a major point of tension for his characterization (I believe he makes Harrison promise to kill him if he tries to hurt his sister again, which is... on brand for right now <3). At that point in the series, Lonan's biggest fear is that he's still a terrible person--he's struggling to be redeemable even to himself. So to hurt the most important person in his life at the time, his sister... oof. He's not happy.

I wanted to bring this back into SV, since I love recycling old material into this book to relive the joy of writing them originally (not me... finding joy in psychologically torturing these siblings oops). So Lonan is once again "programmed," but the logistics make more sense because this is done through magical means. Lonan in SV is an extremely controlled person. Every move he makes is monitored, and what little good he does have in his life are used against him to torture him (like... his girlfriend... who I haven't talked about on here... but we can!).

Reeve isn't an exception to this. The play by play of what happens here is that the squad (Harrison, Reeve, Darren, Foster), have all been looking for Humilitas (the magical bird that's been missing for a while/the magical bird that Lonan is part of). They locate Humilitas (Harrison flew on the back of a giant bird who showed him where he was :) lol :)) and this is great! This has been their goal the whole time. But then this happens:

“Humilitas,” she says, inching her fingers toward its face. Her eyes sparkle like she’s seeing a saint, a god, even. She begins to smile, so close to touching him.

A branch snaps.

Not delicate. A weighted sound. A human sound.

Harrison spins around.

He doesn’t believe what he’s seeing at first. Surely, he’s hallucinating, sicker than he’d initially thought, bombarded by strange, unrealistic visions. Black hair like a silken cut of obsidian. Fingers precise, thin. Eyes kingfisher blue and as hot as a gas flame.

“Lonan?” he says, dazed, hardly able to make out his name without slurring every letter. Harrison lurches forward to where he stands, ten, twenty feet away, barely catches himself on a bramble bush. Thorns skewer his palm, but he feels no pain, not even when blood seeps down his wrist, candle wax overflowing. Instead, his mouth foams, his knees so weak that on his next step forward, he falls onto his elbows.

(there's a Feeding Habits easter egg here with the kingfisher eye description--which is the way Suzanna describes Harrison's eyes to Lonan awww. Also I love that feverish Harrison can describe Lonan once again like a painting. My god.)

Harrison is so stunned and is ALSO physically ill at this sight (relatable content <3). No, but really, he is quite literally sick (H&L are bonded through magical bird things & being so close is... not good for them at this point).

Reeve is so excited that she doesn't really notice Harrison's Suffering (TM). This happens:

As if she’s never seen Humilitas, as if he no longer matters, as if she’s an elk running from a mountain lion or a mountain lion chasing an elk, as if the earth no longer matters either, as if she is wind and he is alive, he is alive, as if, no matter who tries, no one can stop her, Reeve launches at her brother with full force.

And then we get... the actual drama:

Lonan raises an arm. From the ground, as Harrison watches through jittering eyes, he looks as if he’s going to hug her. They could be children again, reunited after a summer trip apart, one about to spin the other in greeting. Reeve is crying, tears glittering off her chin like flakes of shattered glass. She wraps her arms around her brother, shaking, sobbing, shocked as a rat snapped in a trap.

Lonan looks at her. His arm still raised. Does he smile? Harrison’s vision has spotted so badly that he can hardly tell.

Against the deep backdrop of night, a glint.

Harrison gasps. He wills himself to get up, to run to her. Ash. Bone.

But by then it’s too late. One moment, Reeve clutches her brother, and the next, he gouges a knife straight through her heart.

Aaand that's how part two ends. Fun!

We start part three in Reeve's first solo POV chapter, where Darren explains what happened:

“You died,” he whispers. Reeve blinks. “I saw you. On the ground. I swear, I got to you not even a second after he hurt you, yet you were gone. I looked at you and I thought, I’m going to have to bury her.”

(THHHEEE ROMANNNNCCEE)

She also sees the consequence of Harrison's magic (that did bring her back in the end!):

What marks her chest: a pattern the colour of soot, radiating from around the bandage covering the puncture.

Permanently grafted on her skin are the sun’s waving rays.

Harrison doesn't actually know how to use his magic at this point in the books/what his magic even is. But seeing his bestie literally die is... too much for him, and instinct just takes over really fast. This is the opening of chapter 17 and where the title of book 2 comes from:

From Harrison’s bloody fingertips: a hot, bright ribbon scatters from his body and across the ground, bounding like a heartbeat. Watch as it ripples and ignites a line of maple leaves, beating to the same rhythm as the words she can’t die. She can’t die. She can’t die. Not after all of this. Not now. Watch as it climbs over her thigh, side, stomach, a messenger with its goal in target. Watch as it stabs her body as the knife previously did, how upon contact with her heart, her entire figure luminesces. She becomes a Madonna on that sunless ground, haloed in light.

^^ get you a best friend who is so stubborn he refuses to let you die so miraculously uses his magic to save you <3 aw

After this, Harrison passes out for a long time. He's not aware of how terrible of a state he was in (also near dying) until he talks to Foster:

“Where’s Reeve?” he asks. Though he’d been feverish and near-unconscious on the ground, he’d seen the look on her face as her body fell. Her smile of relief punctured with some sick mix of shock and horror.

“She’s okay,” Foster says, and glances out the private room’s exit. “Darren’s with her.”

That’s all it takes for Harrison to move. He rips off the catheter in his nose, peeling up the tape securing several tubes to the back of his hands.

“Hey—” “Don’t get in my way,” Harrison growls when Foster goes to herd him back into the cot.

“You’re not well—”

Harrison yanks all the wiring knotted around his body so harshly that one of the monitors checking his vitals appears to shut down.

“Does this look like the work of an unwell man?”

(LEGENDARY DIALOGUE HARRISON ^^)

We ALSO get Harrison going beast mode and calling Foster by his actual name LOL:

“Get out of my way, August,” Harrison nearly shouts. If Reeve is in this infirmary, alone with a man who sure, cares about her, but that isn’t him, he will damn well get to her.

And of course, he's back to wanting to kill Lonan:

Harrison crosses his arms. “I’m going to find Reeve. And then I’m going to kill Lonan.”

It’s the first time he’s said the words aloud, the words that’ve hummed in his body since he awoke. Kill Lonan.

“I can’t let you do that.”

“I don’t need your permission.”

At this point, no one actually knows Lonan did this unintentionally because he's been unable to tell them because someone may or may not be trying to kill him as we speak!

And strangely, Harrison also has matching markings on his palms like the one Reeve has on her chest:

When his palms are naked again, he doesn’t even question the black solar markings in the centre of each palm—nothing matters. Lonan cannot die. “Hey,” Harrison says, hands trembling even harder now as he tugs the hem of Lonan’s shirt upward to reveal the wound, likely pierced through, or close to his heart. Lonan’s mouth hangs open, like he’s trying to say something, but Harrison won’t let him. No goodbyes.

(not me just leaving this excerpt here as if this isn't going to open up a whole bunch more question LOOOL I'm evil and also willing to talk more <3)

Eventually, when everything settles down, Harrison confronts Lonan about what the actual fuck happened that night he "killed" Reeve:

“One of the first things I told you was not to look for me. Why did you?”

Harrison laughs. He doesn’t think. He’s not even sure what it means—if he’s genuinely amused, or if he’s shocked, or if he’s angry. “Why wouldn’t I look for you?”

“I told you not to.”

When Harrison laughs again, he’s absolutely sure why—exasperation ripples off his body. “You were haunting my dreams to the point where I couldn’t sleep. Your sister begged me to help find you. And besides, you found us.”

“But you shouldn’t have saved me. You should’ve left. It would’ve been best—”

“Are you telling me I should’ve let you die? Forget you for a second—what about Reeve? She should’ve died too?”

Lonan looks over to him—Harrison feels his gaze on his face, but now he’s looking at his hands, trying to force them to still with his mind. He’s not angry. Lonan is not ungrateful. He’s not angry. Lonan is not ungrateful.

“Harrison,” Lonan says after a moment. “My family is dangerous. I wanted to keep you as far from this as I could—”

“But you didn’t,” Harrison says, his voice breaking. “You gave me half your power. You knew they would look for me if you took what made you useful and gave it to me. And you did it anyway. You put a target on my back.”

“That target was always on your back. From the moment you were born it was on your back. I needed to be certain you could keep yourself safe when something happened. Not if.”

“Safe?” Harrison almost shouts. Out of everything he’s considered himself in the whirlwind of the last few weeks, safe was the absolute last one. And the absurdity of this implication, as if Harrison would even understand how to use his own magic to keep himself safe. He’s somehow managed to keep himself alive and burned himself on a fork—Lonan didn’t gift him his powers and a manual to use them. Safe. Impulsively, he yanks his hands from his pocket, splaying open his fingers to reveal his palm and the black sunrays tattooed onto the centre. “This is what you’ve done to me, Lonan. This is what you’ve done to Reeve.”

Lonan’s brows perk up, and now he’s trying very hard to catch Harrison’s gaze. “What is this about Reeve?”

(For context on the "what about Reeve" dialogue--since Lonan is the Virtue, if he dies, which is impossible since he's immortal but... almost happened lol, his whooooole family dies with him. Also: "burned himself on a fork" I'm crying LOL)

From this excerpt, we can tell Lonan clearly has no idea what happened and what he did to Reeve (accurate to the OG books). This may or may not lead to a nervous breakdown.......... oops!

Anyway so that's the explanation!

I love spoiling SV. Always happy to talk about it!

[breedaboyd]

Tender Waters — Pinky

(Gif by me!)

Pairing: Pinky × GN!Reader.

Word Count: 2,048.

CW: Bathroom sex, handjobs.

The soft glow of the evening sunlight filters through the window, casting a warm and soothing ambiance across the room. Pinky sits in his wheelchair by the table, engrossed in a book. As you watch him from the sofa, a sense of fulfilment washes over you, mingling with a quiet introspection.

Taking care of Pinky has become an intrinsic part of your routine, a role that you've embraced wholeheartedly since his recovery. The bond you share has deepened, each day revealing more about the person he is beyond his past trauma and missing legs. His passion, his warmth, his resilience; they're all qualities that draw you closer to him and it's no secret that you've found a true connection.

As you get up and wander a little closer, you're met with his genuine smile, a greeting that seems to say more than words ever could. The easy camaraderie between you is undeniable, the conversations flowing effortlessly and the silences comfortable. And yet, there's a subtle undercurrent of self-reflection that often lingers in your thoughts.

Some people have hinted that you might have a saviour complex; the idea that you derive satisfaction from helping others, perhaps to the detriment of your own well-being. And in moments of quiet contemplation, you wrestle with this...

As you watch Pinky, you find yourself drawn to the authenticity of your feelings. It's not about being a saviour, it's about being a source of support, comfort, care. You've found joy in his smiles, in the way he's been able to rebuild his life from the ground up. You're so proud of him.

Pinky looks up from his book, his eyes meeting yours, and there's a knowing glint in his gaze. It's as if he can sense the contemplative nature of your thoughts. He closes the book, setting it aside, his voice soft but clear.

"You need to quit thinkin' so much." He says softly. You smile, grateful for his understanding.

"Yeah, I know."

The air is thick with the scent of lavender and the sound of soft piano music fills the space, creating a tranquil oasis. Pinky sits on the edge of the bathtub, his anticipation evident in the way he gazes at the steaming water you've prepared for him. With gentle care, you step up to him, your touch light as you rest your hands on his shoulders.

"Ready?" You ask and he meets your gaze, a mix of gratitude and affection in his eyes.

"Always ready." He sighs, gazing up at you with those deep ocean-blue eyes.

With slow, deliberate movements, you guide him into the water, supporting his body as he eases into the warmth. The water envelops him and you can see the relief wash over his face as he settles into the familiar sensation. The ritual of bathing has become a cherished routine for both of you, a time when you can focus solely on each other's presence, a time when the world outside fades away.

As you cup your hands, you let the steaming water pour gently across Pinky's shoulders and head, the heat melting away the tensions of the day. Pinky's eyes flutter closed, a contented sigh escaping his lips. "God, that feels great..." You offer him a soft smile, your touch tender as you continue to pour the water, dampening his skin and hair. The moment feels sacred, an intimate exchange that goes beyond mere physical care. It's a gesture of love, of understanding that transcends words.

As the hot water flows across his shoulders and down his back, you notice a subtle change in Pinky's demeanour; a shift in the air, a slight change in his breathing. You glance at his face and the flush on his cheeks, the way his lips part ever so slightly; it's all unmistakable. You continue pouring the water, your touch lingering, and the realisation of Pinky's arousal adds a layer of intimacy to the moment. Between his thighs, his cock twitches and starts to thicken. He knows you know what it's doing to him; the warmth, the anticipation of your touch. His voice is a husky whisper, laced with vulnerability. "I can't help it..." You meet his gaze, your own want evident in your eyes.

"I know. It's okay."

Lathering your hands with the soap, you take a deep breath, letting the calming scent of lavender fill your senses.

"Ready?" You ask, your voice a soft whisper in the hushed space. He nods, his breathing already growing shallower with anticipation.

"Yeah, go ahead." Your fingers are gentle as you reach out, your touch barely grazing his scalp and Pinky's eyes flutter closed in response to your touch.

His scalp is warm and welcoming beneath your touch. You apply just the right amount of pressure, your nails scoring against his scalp in a soft and controlled movement. Pinky's breath hitches, his lips parting slightly as he lets out a quiet moan, his eyes still closed. Your touch is slow and soothing, your fingers moving in deliberate circles, massaging the soap into his hair.

You can feel his need building, the tension in his body evident in the way he shifts his weight slightly. He's desperate for more, his soft sounds and breathless words filling the air. The sensation of your hands against his scalp, the weight of his head against your fingers, the way he surrenders to the pleasure and the calm; it's a connection that's both gentle and powerful. His fingers clench against the edge of the tub, his body shivering with wanton vulnerability.

As you rinse his hair, the water cascading down his back in gentle waves, Pinky's eyes open, meeting yours with a mix of gratitude and want. He looks at you, his voice soft and sweet. "Thanks for...takin' care of me like this." You offer him a tender smile, your fingers continuing to work through his hair, making sure all the suds are rinsed out.

"You don't need to thank me, love." You reply and he closes his eyes again, surrendering to the sensations.

The soap-laden palms of your hands make contact with Pinky's skin, starting at his shoulders and moving down his back. His muscles relax under your touch, his posture becoming more fluid. You can't help but notice the difference in his physique; the way he's filled out, the contours of his shoulders and arms more defined. His ribs aren't as pronounced anymore and, knowing that you've played a part in his recovery, your heart swells with a sense of accomplishment and pride. Pinky turns his head slightly, his lips curving into a soft smile as he catches your gaze.

"You admirin' me, baby?" He asks, his voice soft and airy. You chuckle softly, your fingers continuing their soothing movements as you work the soap across his skin.

"Maybe a little bit." You admit. "I just like making you feel good." His eyes meet yours, a mixture of gratitude and something deeper in their depths.

"You always make me feel good." He sighs. With careful attention, your hands glide over his shoulders, down his arms and across his chest. His skin is warm and inviting, his response evident in the small sighs and contented sounds that escape him.

As your hands move lower, you feel Pinky's body reacting to your touch, his breathing growing more uneven, his anticipation palpable. His voice is a hushed whisper. "God, you have no idea how much I love your hands... Swear you've got, like, a magic touch..." Your heart races, the desire between you growing more intense with each passing moment.

You move your hands further down, across his abdomen, feeling the way his muscles tighten and release under your touch. His hips shift slightly, a clear sign of his arousal, and the air between you grows charged with tension. Your fingers brush against the crests of his hip bones, his body responding to your touch. You're aware of the intensity of the moment, the shared longing that binds you, and as your hands continue their exploration.

His gaze is fixed on you. You sense the weight of his sudden self-consciousness. He's particularly anxious when it comes to his legs (or lack thereof) and you're determined to handle him with utmost care. You kneel beside the tub, your expression soft and reassuring.

"Don't worry, love. I'll take care of you." You tell him, voice soft and sweet. He swallows hard, gratitude evident in the way his eyes shimmer.

"I know. It's just...hard sometimes." He manages and you offer him a warm smile, your fingers starting to trace gentle circles on the warm water-slick skin of his thighs.

"I understand. And I promise, I'll be as gentle as possible." You whisper and, as your touch lands, Pinky's breath hitches, his fingers curling slightly against the edge of the tub. The sensation of your fingers moving across his thighs is delicate, reverent. You work with care, your touch tender and deliberate. His eyes flutter closed, lips parting slightly as he lets out a soft sigh. The mixture of sensations; the warmth of the water, the softness of your touch; it's all so good... Your fingers trace the old amputation scars that mark his thighs. You know he can't feel anything across the scar tissue but the tenderness with which you touch them has his heart melting in his chest. His voice is a hushed whisper.

"You're so gentle..." He breathes. You meet his gaze, your fingers continuing their slow and soothing movements along the puckered skin. He swallows hard, his voice a blend of anticipation and need. "I want you...so bad." Your heart races at his words. With a mixture of tenderness and desire, you lean in, pressing a soft kiss against his forehead.

"I'm right here."

Kneeling by the tub, you lock eyes with his, your heart racing as you lather your hands with a little more soap. Pinky's breath catches as your fingers go to work between his thighs, your touch deliberate and gentle as you run your fingers around the base of his cock, lathering the soap there, passing your hand over his tight, heavy balls, making sure that every inch of him is clean. He whines at the sensation; your touch so close, so close to where he needs you.

"Please... Please..." He sighs and you smile as you wrap your fingers around his length, watching him bite his lip and hearing him moan. The rhythm of your movements seems to mirror the quickening pace of his breath, your touch awakening something within him. His fingers curl around the tub's edge, his lips parting in a silent sigh as he surrenders to the sensations washing over him. With each stroke of your soapy hands, Pinky's responses become more pronounced. The soft, desperate sounds that escape him fill the air, echoing through the room. Every touch, every caress brings him closer to the edge. He's still touch-starved and needy and having your hand wrapped perfectly around his cock is just what he wants.

Pinky's hips move, a silent plea for more, and you understand his unspoken request. Your touch becomes bolder, more insistent, the fingers of your free hand tracing the contours of his body with newfound clarity. He arches his back, gaze half-lidded, body reacting to your ministrations in a beautiful display of vulnerability. The water laps at him as his movements grow more urgent, his body aching for release. Your focus is entirely on him, guided by an intuitive understanding of just how to touch him. His body is a canvas of sensations, each touch from your hands stoking the fire within him. His fingers grip the tub's edge, his knuckles white as he gets caught up in the pleasure, arousal building until he's bursting at the seams.

And then, with a shuddering curse, he lets go. His body tenses, his voice catching in his throat as ecstasy washes over him. His cock throbs in your palm as cum oozes from the slit, dripping down the shaft to pool at the base. As the aftershocks claim him, Pinky leans back against the tub. Eyes closed, breathing heavy, body spent and sated. You watch him, a mixture of love and tenderness filling your chest. He's gorgeous and perfect; you wouldn't have him any other way.

[vyrim]

Having put 30+ hours into Fear and Hunger 2 with two completed runs amidst the carnage, I can say the game is a strong "I fucking hate it and love it" kinda deal.

The world involved in both it and its predecessor are so cool, and are a great blend of fucked up but really beautiful art. Alot of the designs are wonderful range of horror and gore, but theres also some really cool ideas of how the gods are portrayed by man and what they look like in physical form. If you dont find all the penises and weird coochie monsters running around unbearable to look at its a pretty great gallery that you wont really find anywhere, let alone a video game.

The concept of gameplay is also pretty brutal, every action has a risk to it, a price. You see this the most in combat. Most enemies are equipped with weapons or magic capable of outright dismembering your party if they dont simply die, and this has real implications because it stops you from sprinting or holding weapons. Both of your characters legs are gone? Crawl. Arms gone too? You dont die, you lie there and have to CHOOSE to die. It makes every combat against a new enemy a huge danger since you have no idea if a single attack from one of their limbs is gonna reduce you to a meat cube.

This isnt even touching on the fact that alot of enemies and the overworld itself have insta kill mechanics that can only be circumvented by a calling the right side of a coin flip, which in turn can only be reduced in rng by adding a lucky coin you may find to the coin toss. Theres nothing as humbling as having a well equipped character simply die because a coin flip failure led to a giant ghost owl pecking there head into a blood mist, or realizing that theres no coin flip for a pitfall so failing to see past the fog and camouflage is just insta death.

The game is a learning experience in the harshest way possible, you are expected to die, and even then it doesnt tell you shit about anything. Some stuff outside of death are hinted at, but even those are easily miss-able. Theres nothing that tells you that getting 16 agility gives you two actions a turn, or that theres not one but two different types of fast travel that need to be unlocked by gaining favor with the gods through scarcely designated ritual circles.

This brutality is its biggest flaw as well though because youre punished for doing anything and everything, this includes saving. You have three days to beat the game, each day divided up into a morning, afternoon, and night. There are only three means of saving: resting (which transitions the game to the next part of the day), a rare book, and/or using one of the special ritual circles to summon a specific god (which gives up a fast travel point), both being a one time use (or three times for the ritual on easy mode). You are punished regardless the method of saving, and alot can happen when the day transitions. The only way you'll know something bad has happened to a potential party member is through trial and error, and that means the game demands an immense amount of your time and patience. This translates to inbetween events too as party will stay dead after combat unless using a very specific ability, and they can lose limbs as well.

All this compounds into how problematic the engine is, everything follows a single script. If anything is done in contrast to that script, like saving a character or doing an event out of order, alot of the programming will react poorly. My last playthrough had a guy outright vanish until the ending screen because I told him about the newly discovered safe zone too early. So its outright possible to miss things because of how unstable the game can get from your actions.

RPG maker also just kinda sucks for overworld stuff. The angled perspective of the game and the various props littered around the overworld make it very easy to get caught on things when youre moving around, and can outright doom you when youre trying to outmaneuver dangerous enemies. Movement itself is also clunky as hell, good luck trying to move diagonally consistently, and that really puts you at a disadvantage against the ai that can move without issue most of the time. Its also buggy as hell, I watched a character die despite saving them from another npc because the game still played out their death scene had I ignored them instead. I remember being a serious problem with the the first game too, and I really wish they were both on a different engine because it was alot of frustration for very artifical difficulty.

I wont complain too much about the rng. I hate excessive rng in general, and this game makes literally everything rng, even the items you get from random containers. Theres nothing that takes the wind out of your sails than finally managing to commit to a run only to find out that you were unlucky enough to not get a single recipe book, bible, or even the ingredients to make fucking necessary healing items. It sucks, fuck that.

Anyway, final run I managed to get the best items, and while I didnt manage to solo my desired ending that allowed everyone to survive, the people I wanted to live on through my sacrifice did. The only guy who didnt deserves to be a fucked up monster in the sewer because hes a child killer and a rapist so good riddance.

The game sucks in the early half, but once you figure shit out, or do the smart thing like me by looking at the wiki because I cherish my mental health, then you can spend the time admiring the actual presentation of the game's art, music, and writing. I hope if another one comes out that its no longer in rpg maker but thats a little bit of a pipe dream given how complex the game is. Oh well.

[violeta-agustina-caballero]

Percy Jackson and The Lightning Thief, Blog #1

(Spoilers for the first book)

Percy Jackson and The Lightning Thief is a book that tells us about Percy Jackson, son of a ancient god and a human, he is presented with ADHD and Dyslexia, making it hard for him to learn and be able to learn a lot of things at school.

I have read it until chapter 3, and I can say that, by now, Percy is a good kid. He is 12 years old and in sixth grade in a private academy called Yancy Academy, where kids with bad and/or complex behavior(like him, more aggressive, maybe for kids with physical disabilities too). At first, he tells us that we shouldn't be reading this book if we think that we can be connected to him, which makes the start kinda interesting for me, but he also says that if we think this is fiction, he envy us for thinking that way. Then he explains about things that had happened to him that made him go from school to school due to having bad notes or being a problematic child, and that Yancy Academy was his sixth school in six years.

He also talks about the excursion to a museum in Manhattan, directed by his favorite teacher; mister Brunner, someone who use an automatized wheelchair and thinks of Percy as someone capable of great things, always telling him to be the best. I think this is something cute to say, but it also weights Percy with a lot of stress, because he does not see himself as someone who could be the best among his classmates or just in general.

Someone who also accompanies the excursion is miss Dodds, she shows a clear dislike for Percy, almost as if she couldn't stand him, always making him be after class and clean things in the classroom.

Percy explains, too, about two of his classmates; Nancy Bobofit and Groover. Nancy seems to be a bully, always making him be mad, making fun of him and going as far as fight with him most of the time(where miss Dodds pretends Nancy is an angel who she defends while Percy is like a little devil, which makes no sense since he tells us that she SEES Nancy and pretends she is not doing anything). And Groover seems to be someone who has repeated sixth year several times, having a small beard and with a muscular disease, walking lame, as if it hurts him, but somehow he manages to be very fast to go to the cafeteria to eat enchiladas, which is kind of funny(really, I giggled at that).

Basically the excursion was okay-ish at first; Nancy was bothering Groover and Percy, and Percy couldn't do much because he was in "trial period" and he couldn't get in trouble, so he had to let Nancy be, even if he wanted to hit her.

In the Museum, mister Brunner talks to Percy and asks him about greek gods, Zeus, his siblings and about Cronos, expecting him to answer everything correctly. And he somehow manages to answer most of the questions, but fails in one and mister Brunner is disappointed in that, then they talk a bit and are back outside to eat lunch, where Percy and Groover sits in a fountain, far from everyone.

That is when Nancy comes back to bother, at this point Percy is extremely pissed, because he hates the fact that she bullies Groover and he just cries and feels bad, so he couldn't stand that and manages to make her fall to the fountain, in the water. And she starts her act of crying and blaming Percy, even though he didn't even touch her. Miss Dodds appears, extremely mad, and Percy tries to explain that he didn't pushed her, but Groover then tries to make himself guilty, because he does not want Percy to be punished again. Miss Dodds just tells Groover to stop lying and tells Percy to go with her because he was in big trouble this time.

Percy here talks about miss Dodds and how she, basically, went to the museum's entry, and he didn't even notice, blaming his brain and ADHD for making him be "lost" and not being able to notice things. And when he stops saying that, miss Dodds is no longer near, going inside the museum, where Percy went almost running. There, miss Dodds tells him that she, basically, can't stand him anymore and will be punished.

Something weird happens, miss Dodds begins to transform in something called a "benevolent", a creature with bat wings, big, sharp and black fangs and shiny eyes. In that moment mister Brunner appears and yells to Percy to grab his pen, throwing it at him, Percy grabs it and, when he attacks miss Dodds, she basically turns into yellow smoke, leaving a terrifying aura in the hallway while mister Brunner seemed to disappear again. The pen seemed to make a blast when someone touches the part to put the tip of the pen(I don't remember the name of the button)

He goes back outside, and Nancy tells him that she hopes miss "Kerr" punished him. This part it's confusing for most of the people, mostly for those who didn't read it, because someone asks "who is Kerr?" "where did she come from?", well, that's the exact same reaction that Percy has. He asks Groover, and he seems to think, but he also tells him that miss Dodds is not real, and asks him if he is okay.

Then we go to chapter two, where everyone seems to tell Percy again and again that miss Dodds was not real, to the point he almost thought the same, but there's one person that can't lie to him; Groover. Groover seems to get nervous whenever Percy asks, being very bad to lie, which helps Percy to know that, in fact, miss Dodds was real, and what happened was also real, but somehow no one remembers. Later, Percy decides to go and study, because he has a test the next day, and needs to learn a lot of names and stories for it. However he is not able to remember a thing, because his brain, as said before, is not being capable of learning, understanding, almost as if the letters took their own way to be ordered, "dancing" how Percy describes it. So he decides that he just is going to ask mister Brunner for help, because he doesn't want him to think that he didn't put enough effort on his class, not his favorite.

Then, when he goes, he listens to Groover and mister Brunner talking about him, so he decides to listen carefully. They talk about a lot of things; the benevolent, the summer solstice, and Groover shows some kind of worry for Percy, saying that "they never past sixth grade", trying to say that this wasn't the first time, and that others like Percy "didn't make it"(died, somehow).

Because of the surprise, Percy dropped his book, making it evident that he was there, and trying to escape before being seen. He says that he saw his teacher with a bow, and he hid in a locker, saying that Groover also was helping him to find him, "smelling" the lockers, but saying that there is no one, and the talk stops(I'm pretty sure Groover noticed Percy but pretended not to, but it wouldn't make any sense at all).

Percy goes back to the bedroom and Groover is there "studying". He pretends to be okay and just goes to sleep.

The next day, Percy is told that he cannot go back to Yancy Academy after the summer by mister Brunner, and he must find another place to go. He feels bad and mister Brunner tries to make him feel better by telling him that he is special, that it was matter of time for Yancy Academy to "not be enough". But Percy takes those words badly and just goes to his room.

Last day of the trimester, Percy says goodbye to everyone, telling them that he is going back to his house, with his mom. Groover goes with him since they go to the same bus, and Percy sees that as an opportunity to talk to him about what he heard.

At first, Groover gets exalted, asking how much he heard. Percy tells him, and Groover just gives him a card with his number, but the card seems to be in ancient greek(from what it's said) and Percy is the one exalted when he notices that he can read it perfectly.

The bus stops and it is because it's motor is not working and it's coming smoke from it. From afar, Percy sees three old ladies knitting huge stockings, but the ladies look at him while doing so, startling Percy, who seems confused as why are the three old ladies looking at him.

Then they cut the fabric thread, and Percy says how that made him feel almost in danger.

The bus works again and they go inside again, Groover and Percy talking, when he says what had happened with the old ladies. Groover asked him if they say him, Percy stays quiet and that's enough to make Groover panic.

In the third chapter(the last one for today), Percy says that he abandoned Groover when he went to go to the bathroom, because he just wanted to go away. He take a taxi and went to his mom's house.

He tells us that his mom is married to a guy he calls "Stinky Gabe", because he stinks badly, is overweight and is kinda abusive to Percy's mom, using her as a chef while he plays cards in the living room, drinking beer. Personal take: I hate Stinky Gabe as much as Percy does, this is extremely justified.

When Percy goes to his mom's house, stinky gabe is who "welcomes" him, playing cards and drinking, the living room a mess, asking if he has money to give to him(I swear, this man deserves a punch in the nose). Percy lies, but Gabe seems to smell money and tells him, basically, his way of knowing, Percy throws the money at him and goes to his room.

Not so long later, his mom appears. Percy talks of her as the most sweet, caring and loving mom in the world(truthfully speaking, he's right), and explains how badly her life was, and how that didn't stop her of being the best. She comes to the room, giving Percy some candies she got from her work in a sweet's store. He gets happy while he eats some with her, not talking about Yancy, like she didn't care(Percy's words). And then she tells him good news, they are going to a cabin, the same they go together and alone since he was a toddler. He is happy to know that, and explains that there is where she met his dad, and since that day, they go there in the summer.

However she tells about the trip to Gabe, who seems "mad" because she is going away with her son, and has to use "his" car(extremely sure it's not his, he always spends everything playing, but yeah there's no information about that). She convinces him to not be mad by making him meatloaf, so he just lets her be.

The next day he seems more sad that she is leaving with "his" car and he won't have his "personal chef"(when I tell you I got MAD). Before going, Percy basically does a "little trick" and Gabe goes back inside almost flying, then goes inside the car and tells his mom to go.

In the trip, everything goes fine at first; they play on the beach, make s'mores and sausages while they talk about Percy's dad. His mom seems a bit sad about the fact that he went away, saying that he had to set sail, and he never came back.

They talk until his mom is about to cry and he changes the topic and after some time they go to sleep. There, Percy dreams with an eagle and a horse fighting on the beach, trying to say something or to help, but his attempts fail, and when the eagle is about to unalive the horse, he screams and wakes up.

His mom asks him if he is okay, is raining outside, a hurricane is coming. Percy explains that that is not supposed to happen, but "the sea forgot". Someone knocks the door, it's Groover, and he tells Percy that he shouldn't have left without him. But there is something weird with Groover, he doesn't have two legs anymore, he has four hooves, and then Percy(and me) understand why he walked so poorly, what were those "muscular diseases"(they were not that).

Percy's mom starts begins to be overwhelmed, asking Percy what he didn't told her while they run to the car, that place was not safe anymore. Groover insults in ancient greek(of the surprise) and asks Percy why he didn't tell her anything, Percy can't say what is happening, tries to pretend nothing's wrong, but for the first time his mom talks harshly to him, making him confess everything, from miss Dodds to the three old ladies he saw.

[shamelessrabbithole]

His first audition for The Giver didn't go as smoothly as planned… "[Brenton & I] have a scene where there’s physical confrontation between us and shove each other a bit. And I shoved him and he shoved me back and I took the shove and reacted to it and pushed myself against the wall. And the last time we did the scene he pushed me and I fell through the wall of the casting office and left a huge hole the shape of my body. Anyway, I literally left an impression. And then I got the movie."

And surprisingly he didn't read The Giver until after he got the role." No [I didn't read it]. I originally got the audition and got the script and then as I went further with the project I went back and read the book. "

On what he and The Giver cast would do when the cameras weren't rolling:" The cast is fantastic! Everyone got along really well. We enjoyed each other’s company. We had a lot of musical people in the cast. Jeff Bridges plays guitar, Taylor Swift…we’d all get together and have jam sessions together. One of us would play guitar and one of us would sing. That was really cool to have some fun musical bonding experiences together."

But he wasn't always as calm, cool and collected about working with such big-name actors…"I really admire Meryl Streep and Jeff Bridges. I grew up watching their movies since I was little. They were a couple actors who kind of gave me the idea you can do amazing things as an actor and enchant your audience in a way that inspired me for the rest of my life. So to have the chance to do a movie with them and have scene where I interact with Meryl was so cool."

His book-to-movie adaptation isn't the only one he's excited for…"I grew up as a big comic reader so this is a fascinating time for comic movies where I get to see all these heroes I grew up watching. I’m really interested in seeing the Batman/Superman movie and what they’re planning with those characters."

But which comic movie is his favorite? "I think the original Super Man movies were such a huge part of my childhood so purely for nostalgia’s sake…The Avengers movie was also amazing. The new Captain America was fantastic. Also, X-Men was really great. There’s some great movies now."

On if he'd be back for a Vampire Academy sequel: "Yeah totally! I had a great time shooting the first one. Being able to be in London for a couple months was certainly not too bad either. And I think the second book has a lot of untapped potential for things we didn’t get to do for the first movie. There’s great dramatic storylines and interesting twists to the story I think people would really appreciate. So if the opportunity came around, sure!"

And if he keeps in touch with his VA cast mates" Zoey [Deutch] and I are very good friends. I haven’t gotten a chance to see her in awhile. I miss her! I see Sarah Hyland all the time. Pretty much all of the young cast in that movie has stayed in touch and are good friends."

Although he wouldn't admit it, we think he's had a crush on one of his leading ladies…" Thank god I’m not on camera right now, I’m blushing! I can’t admit to that! I see people too often. I'll leave that as a strong maybe. I’m not going to say who though…"

On which of his characters would win in The Hunger Games: "Ian Gallagher from Shameless has military training so I think that would come in handy. I’ve also played a number of psychopath murderers, so I’m thinking one of those guys."

https://web.archive.org/web/20140907222523/http://www.teen.com/2014/06/12/celebrities/cameron-monaghan-facts-bio-trivia/#10

Oh, cool. Sounds like he may have had a crush on Zoey, which is another explanation for why they look so cozy in old pics together. Thanks for sending this!

[bookfreaky]

On Last Week - Something Still Hurts

The topic of being constantly and permanently insatisfied with the world and unhappy with my life has caught up to me again. I'm sorry to myself because I had a great fucking year, I am not complaining that anything could or should be better, 2023 I lived a lot. I went under plastic surgery; I recovered and now I have boobs; I partied a lot; I ended (drastically) a four-year situationship that felt that only happened in my head and hurt me a lot; I got a publisher's contract and just published my first book now in 2024. I can see all these accomplishments, I just don't feel able to appreciate them.

I feel sad all the time, I feel terrible about myself all the time and it seems like the older I get, the most refined is my ability to hurt the people I love and care about. I am becoming violent, isolated and (as I feared), completely out-of-touch with reality. The old demons are still here sleeping on my couch, alcoholism, my depression, an occasional suicide ideation that doesn't even scare me anymore, a ridiculous need to stalk my ex on social media just to see his face so I don't call him, the constant sensation that my mother is angry at me because I did something wrong, feeling dysphoric about my body (now my new obsession is my face, and I can spend hours picking on flaws I see in the mirror), googling plastic surgeries when I should be sleeping, talking to myself while I walk aimlessly into rooms.

Is this me? Sometimes I don't even know. When you lived a huge part of your life playing a character in order to feel loved and safe, you get into habit to always look for somebody else to be. I put on a this new face - is it even my face? is that how I look on camera? God! - I wear a suit, I put on a flower dress and I speak in this is manner that makes me sound like a british lady from 1920s, and it's now filmed and transformed in stories and reels and posts for instagram, because now I need to have an "image". Who is even that person? Who am I trying to be? Maria Bethania mixed with Virginia Woolf?

My face on videos look like a jewish transvestite (which I am), but what I mean really is brick-ugly. Or worse, passable pretty if she's got talent and personality. I don't want to look like a personality, I want to have a fuckable face. A face that you look at and think "I want to put my dick in her mouth". Well, because goddamn it, I craved for it like a goddamn whore while I was the perfect and most loyal friend. The thing is, having a personality-face doesn't take me anywhere, and if I won't be happy anyways, I might as well be hot. Commercially hot.

Everything seems to eat down on my too much, I wish I wasn't like this. I wish I could just enjoy things... I wish I didn't try to find hidden meanings in everything that happens in my life, as if the Gods were planning to punish me. I wish I didn't feel so angry all the time. Last Saturday, I was having a dinner party at my house and all looked fine but I got into a fight with one my best friends, it got physical, I yelled at my parents, and then I started running in the middle of the street, in the rain, barefoot and completely drunk like a crazy woman while my friends called my name after me. I have to stop this, I have to stop fucking it up with the people what show up for me. I'll die alone in a ditch someday.

I had to create a fake instagram account, because I just cannot stand the interactions on my main account. To me, instagram was for pictures of fashion shows, makeup tutorials, cooking and cute animals. Like a maganize from a waiting room. Now it feels like people want to see me, whatever "me" I am. Making a professional account makes me feel like a prostitute. So I made a fake one so mainly I don't need to see my face, or faces I recognize, and I can stalk whoever I want and post random pictures of random things.

I feel like no one in there. And I miss how things were, but I am already writing poems that I hope I will not publish this time. If I am still writing poems, means something still hurts.