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sortasirius · 4 years ago

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What the Fuck Happened to the SPN Finale?

Okay so here it is, my Charlie Kelly style manifesto.

Before I get into it, I recognize that I will look like this to many of you, and that’s okay, I understand:

Secondly, your personal Takes about the writers don’t interest me, I don’t need to hear them. This, as I’ll explain, is going to remain a writer positive blog, and that’s the end of it.

Third, and most importantly: some of what I’m going to talk about is fact, and some is highly educated speculation. I will notate what is speculation, just so there’s no confusion or hot takes in my inbox that I’m a conspiracy theorist or stirring shit up for no reason.

A list of what I’ll be discussing

The episode in regards to the rest of the season

The episode issues: length, editing

Scene placement and speculation of scenes cut

The scrubbing of Jack, Cas, Eileen

Network involvement and general timeline of when things were cut

Misha: theories on where he was, official company line, why we can’t expect to hear anything directly

The silence of the cast post episode (in Misha’s case, mid episode) and what this might mean

Jensen speaking with Kripke about the ending: why it doesn’t mean what you might think (also why kripke remained positive on the ending)

Walker, and why this episode had a major shift

Why the network would do this or get involved

Why the writers of the show simply aren’t the bad guys here, and what I “want” out of this post, since I know it’ll get asked

This is very long and under a cut, but I hope you’ll give it a read.

The Episode In Regards to the Rest of the Season

So, I’ve discussed this already here, but it’s the most obvious thing to me, and that’s the way this episode simply doesn’t fit with the rest of the season.

These people in this room have, truly, been nothing but consistent when it comes to their arcs, especially this season, and the marked dropoff in quality for the finale episode is just too sus to discount to me. Dabb’s whole focus has been character-based. In his seasons, we’ve moved far away from MOTW and bro-codependency, the found family taking it’s place. Does it really sit right to anyone that that was all thrown away in literally the last episode of the entire show?

This is speculation on my part, but as a writer myself, there is no way I would be happy or willing to stamp my name on something that I didn’t think would, at the very least, wrap up the season+ character arcs that I and my team had been crafting.

And before anyone comes in here saying, “well GOT did that!” Bruh. The writing was on the wall for GOT long before the final episode. You could tell that the showrunners just wanted to be done (not only from the plot, but from the fact that they lobbied for a shorter season). Miss me with that, it doesn’t apply here. Andrew has, besides Singer and J2, been with the show longer than anyone. He cares, he is meticulous and detailed, and this ending feels worse than anything Bucklemming has ever written, let alone Dabb.

Additionally, I’ve seen a lot of people say that Dabb was never behind Destiel, that it was all Bobo and Meredith and no one else. That is reductive to the point of insult of the work Dabb has done to get this greenlit. This man did not write the s13 Dean grief arc to be slandered like this. That being said, YES, Bobo and Meredith were the leads on the DeanCas arc this season, but ANDREW IS THE SHOWRUNNER, TO GET EVEN THE CONFESSION APPROVED BY THE NETWORK HE WOULD HAVE TO HAVE THEIR BACKS. AND HE DID.

Finale Issues

So, now that we’ve gotten the fact that this episode doesn’t hit on any of the major themes the show was barrelling towards all season, let’s discuss the fact that the episode is just...weird.

Not only is it shorter than any other episode (I think with the intro and the credits/crew thing at the end, it was around 38 mins), but it was also...idk, 90% filler?

One of the lovely humans in the POLOL server did the legwork here, and broke it down:

This is weird, y’all. Most series finales are LONGER than normal (Lost, SOA, Longmire are the ones I can think of off the top of my head), and for the final episode to be this? I saw more than one person point out that we only really needed 19 episodes, what was the point of 20? AND THAT’S EXACTLY IT? WHAT WAS THE POINT OF THIS FINAL EPISODE IF THIS WAS ALL WE WERE SUPPOSED TO GET?

It simply doesn’t make any sense, the first half of the episode was rushed, a final monster hunt gone wrong, but in the second half? Nothing really happened? Sam lived his entire life and Dean just drove around. It doesn’t make sense to have all the emotional arcs left unaddressed in an episode that definitely needed some kind of spark.

Here’s the speculation I have: the episode seemingly went through a lot of changes between the initial inception of the final season and when we actually got it, but I think it would have been passable (as in, we wouldn’t be sitting here asking each other why each arc feels incomplete) until the editing room got ahold of it. The only think that makes this episode make sense is network fuckery. Truly, that is the only thing. It explains the weird, cuts, the rushed pacing of the first half followed by nothing in the second half, the double montages of “Wayward Son” back to back, and Dean just...driving around for the last half of the episode.

Scene Placement and Speculation of Scenes Cut

Before I get into this section, the info of the shots in the episode I have come from a source that @occamshipper got a week or so before the finale. She’s talked about this here.

So here’s what Min was given:

1-5: 1 INT MEN OF LETTERS – DEAN’S ROOM Dean is greeted by Miracle

6-10: 6 INT MEN OF LETTERS – HALLWAY/SAM’S ROOM Sam has his routine

D1 1 11-15: 15 EXT FARM HOUSE Establishing

N1 1/8 16-20: 19 Dad’s journal, marker, drawing of masked man in journal.

21-25: 23 INT IMPALA – PMP Driver picks the music

N2 1 3/8 1,2 26-30: 28pt2 INT BARN: A face from the past

28pt3 Sam and Dean say goodbye

28pt4 Shot early for technical reasons, presumably the overhead shot

N2 31-45: 41 INT MEN OF LETTERS – SAM’S ROOM Sam’s alarm goes off D4 1/8 1 46-60: 56 INT N7glasses for Sam, laptop.

So...it all fits right? It all tracks with the actual episode, where it lands, etc. The issue is between shots 29-40 which were apparently “too big to spoil.” Uh. Where are they? And where’s 28 pt4?

After Dean dies, the next scene is Sam burning him, then shot 31, the shot of his alarm going off.

So. Where are those 11ish shots?

PLUS we have the boards, which are scenes we KNOW were actually shot:

As well as scenes for 20 that were shot in 19.

It’s just...weird, it’s weird and again hits on the fact that the episode is so short and like 80% montage.

The Scrubbing of Jack, Cas, and Eileen

So now we have to reckon with the fact that Eileen was last mentioned by Sam after she got snapped by Chuck, Jack’s last mention is that he’s off being God somewhere, and Cas’ last mention is a ~knowing look~ between Dean and Bobby.

I’m sorry, make it make sense:

???????? That’s the end if it? They don’t need to be discussed after this??? It’s just simply not something a writer would do, they would not introduce these characters, these arcs, without thinking there’s going to be some kind of follow through here.

So not only were three major characters (including two leads and both of the original characters’ love interests) completely wiped from the finale episode, it was as though Sam and Dean never even needed them, which just...ain’t it.

So why Eileen and Jack too? Why not just take Cas out of it if they were afraid of the gay? Because, ultimately, the episode went back to Kripke’s original story: just the bros, they only need each other and no one else. They don’t want anyone else, they don’t need anyone else. Easier to go back to something they knew was successful than trust the writers and their audience and take a big leap.

Alex even said he shot for 20 with “some of the guys” here. What happened to that footage?

The complete 180 of it all still shocks me, I still cannot believe that we were essentially at the finish line, and the network just stopped short, and decided to go run another race, at the expense of the arc of this fifteen year legacy show.

Network Involvement and When Things Were Cut

Okay, now into the juicy stuff.

So I’ve pretty well established that network fuckery is clear, but how much did they get involved, what was the original intent?

Well again, we may never actually know what Andrew’s original script was, but I think, at the least, it would involve Dean speaking his truth to Cas and Sam living a life with Eileen.

Now, it seems today, that Misha said that Jimmy Novak was supposed to be in the finale in one iteration of the script, and while initially my brain was like “that truly makes no sense and he’s either straight up lying or telling a half truth,” I think what may be happening is Misha talking about as much as he can right now.

So Jimmy right. Weird as fuck. Why would he been in the Roadhouse and not Cas? My current thought (this is about as reachy as I’ll get) is that Jimmy had no lines, could he have been in the Roadhouse as a red herring, like it said “Jimmy” in the script but it was just Cas in human clothes, a way to get around the network saying Cas couldn’t be in the final scene. Also, you’ll notice that Misha didn’t say that Cas wasn’t supposed to be in the ep at all, just Jimmy in the last scene.

All this to say, there have clearly been multiple versions of the script, getting lighter and lighter with Cas and Eileen as the network pulled further and further back. Remember, Dabb has to get things approved before they get shot, and if the network kept asking and asking and asking to cut Cas and Eileen, he had to find a way to work around it. Granted, I still think that if we had been able to get a Dabb script that wasn’t torn to shreds in editing, it wouldn’t be so bad. It may not be what a lot of us wanted (Dean speaking his truth to Cas and a reciprocation), but doing everything he could to give it to us in subtext or visual clues.

Plus, in all honesty, my man can’t keep his story straight anyway. He said twice in his panel that the Empty and offscreen Heaven ending weren’t his original ending either.

In addition, remember that Jensen did ADR post episode 18, AND said in a meet and greet last weekend that Dean’s reaction to Cas’ confession was “cut down.” (Source here). Many of us clowns got excited when we first heard about ADR, because we thought it would be upping the ante on Dean’s reaction, but I remember being a little sus when it was just crying. My speculation on that is that they cut out Dean actually SAYING something, @winchestersingerautorepair spoke about that here.

The biggest sins were, in my opinion, committed during editing, where the network got too gun shy and sliced the episode until it was nothing but a heartless bro-fest of a finale, not mentioning anything about the other major characters that we all love, and letting the boys just suffer in separation until Sam died and finally joined Dean in Heaven. The editing came by cutting all the major emotional beats between anyone other than Dean and Sam, leaving the skeleton of the story intact, just shorter and less...poignant than it was ever supposed to be.

Misha

We know Misha was in Vancouver, we know he quarantined, but we also know he wasn’t in the final scene, when he spoke about being in the last moment of the show months ago. We were not crazy, he was there, he quarantined, and, in all likelihood (speculation but fitting with the timeline), he actually may have shot something (not much, but something).

I have sources here, here, here, and here showing where Misha was at that time.

Remember, the man was completely open about coming back until they finished shooting (look at this thread). The switch happened, just like everything else, halfway through them shooting.

Please also remember Jake Abel posting his “Where’s Misha” video here. Jake isn’t malicious, he isn’t being nasty here. Misha was there, and everyone that’s trying to convince people he’s wasn’t just...isn’t telling the truth about it.

This is one of the things that makes me really mad, because they’re literally attempting to gaslight people into thinking, “oh we were totally wrong he was never supposed to be there” WHEN HE WAS THERE, WE KNOW HE WAS THERE.

So we’ve already heard from several people (Meghan Fitzmartin, Jay, a PA on the set of 19 (WHO WAS NOT WORKING FOR 20), Misha himself) that this was all down to Covid restrictions. Ultimately, as this post says, we’ve heard FIVE versions of where Misha was. None of it makes sense, but the Covid protocol seems to be the company line that others are repeating.

You may ask: why? Why lie to all of us when we have questions? Why, in Jay’s case, say that we’re all spreading false lies to stir up trouble, when we just have questions and things that do not make sense. Simply? Warner Brothers is absolutely massive. These people have their careers to protect and are likely all under NDAs. They want to work for WB again and don’t want to burn bridges, including Misha. It sucks, but that’s why it’s unlikely that we’ll hear someone come out and say, “yeah we’re lying to you.”

Silence of the Cast Post Episode

So this is...probably the worst part of all this, at least in my opinion.

The guys had all been pretty excited about the end of the show (especially Jared, but Jensen’s panel last week was Jensen as happy and jokey and positive as I’ve ever seen him. He was so excited about episode 18, about what it meant for Dean and for Cas, and I just cannot buy that he would have been that excited unless he thought there was something more in the episode.

Misha live-tweeted the episode, and was watching it with his kids. It’s well known that Misha and the kids don’t watch the show because it’s too scary, and let’s ask ourselves, why would he have them watch an episode that he’s barely even mentioned in?

He also stopped live-tweeting at a very specific point in the episode (Dean’s death) and has not mentioned Supernatural since then.

None of them, not Jared, Jensen, Misha, or even Alex, said anything about the episode for nearly 36 hours, when Jensen posted a salty photo on instagram. It’s just...not what you’d expect for the end of a 15 year show, when the cast and crew are so close to the fans, so close to each other.

My theory? They didn’t know. They thought Misha was, at least, going to be in the episode in some way, and when he wasn’t, they decided not to say anything.

You really think that Jensen “Heller” Ackles would have been so excited about the end of the show last week if he thought Cas wasn’t going to be in it at all? Nah son, doesn’t make any sense.

Even today, in Jared and Misha’s panels, they seemed sad and...more than a little careful, both saying that there were things they couldn’t say, both talking around things that we all have questions on.

Jensen Speaking with Kripke

So this is where a lot of people are getting fodder to take shots at the writers, saying that Jensen hated it from the beginning, but I don’t think so. I actually think I know what Jensen went to him about, and it wasn’t the lack of Cas or the weird pacing or the montages (which I don’t think were there when Jensen got the script); I think it was the manner of Dean’s death.

I know a lot of people were upset about that, upset with how...normal it was, coming off an episode where they literally beat God. I actually didn’t mind it, I thought it was an interesting thematic take to be like: you can be a hero all your life, but sometimes shit happens, and you just die.

But imagine how hard that was for Jensen to read. He would run to Kripke for that, because for him, Dean dying by being impaled by a piece of rebar had to be tough to swallow.

So, why didn’t Kripke say that? Why didn’t he say, “oh well he had a problem with Dean’s death, none of that other stuff was in the script.”

Guys. Why would he get involved? He’s not going to burn bridges any more than anyone else is. He said the ending was good because it’s the easy thing to do, it’s simple, will cause him no problems in his career, and he can just ignore the people trying to engage with him on it.

Walker

Something else to talk about is the major shift this episode had from the rest of the season: the shift from Dean to Sam. I am NOT saying that Sam isn’t important, he definitely, absolutely is, but it was DEAN who really needed to wrap up his arc, Sam just needed to move on, get married to Eileen, become the leader he was always meant to. So what changed? What was with the shirtless scene, the Austin number and random case there, most of the episode being heavily Sam focused, going through his entire life in a montage?

Anyone else notice the 375 Walker promos, or Jared’s little spiel about Walker and how he hoped SPN fans would “come along for the ride.”

It’s...kinda obvious? CW wanted to appeal to who they think the key demographic of SPN and Walker is: rural areas in the South. It would explain a lot, why so much editing, why so Sam focused, the Austin number, the number of Walker promos, all of it.

I’m not saying this is fact, I don’t know that it is, but it is a little suspicious that even in Jared’s panel today, he talked A LOT about Walker and how he hopes SPN fans will watch it.

Why Would the Network Get Involved?

Simply put: $$$

If they think Walker can be the new SPN, and that those crazy SPN fans liked it originally, it’s a lot safer to go with the “original intent” of the show than do something risky (like making one of your two original leads queer).

And? They don’t care. They don’t care that the episode didn’t make sense, they don’t care that all the emotional arcs were left hanging, they don’t care by (potentially) smashing together two of Dean’s monologues (one to Sam, one to Cas) that it came of as...gross. ( @curioussubjects wrote a beautiful post showing how part of that death speech was likely meant for Dean here). They don’t care, they never have, they just want to make their money and move on from the too-loud fandom that fought for representation too hard for too long.

It can’t help but feel insidious, which, honestly, it might be, but it really all comes down to the next cash cow, which, they think, is Walker, even at the cost of the fifteen year legacy show.

The Writers and What I Want

So here it is, all this weird, sus shit laid out on the line. And you know what? To me, there is no way to blame the writers, because they didn’t want this.

I don’t think Dabb and Bobo would have gone ahead with the confession in 18 without thinking that there would be some closure to that arc, they wouldn’t have done that not only to the fans, but for the sake of their own story as well: no writer wants to start something that they can’t finish. (And this applies to both Cas and Eileen).

Here’s a basic rundown of what I think happened: they had a clear arc from 18-20, ending in reciprocation at some level from Dean, Sam marrying Eileen, Hunter Sam as the new Bobby, Dean in heaven with Cas and big roadhouse reunion at the end. Covid prevented a good amount of that. Network had to stare at big gay 18 for six months, got cold feet. Thought about Walker, target audience and alienation of the rural areas if it went full gay. Misha quarantined and likely shot something (not much), he was then cut by execs and went home. They likely added in lines referencing Eileen and Cas to make it clear but more subtextual. They wrap, editing gets it and hacks it to pieces, so we get a shorter episode that’s mostly montages and jarringly bro-centric with nothing else. Arcs are left hanging. Dabb gets episode but it’s too late, there’s nothing he can do. Actors aren’t told so they can continue to do positive PR for the ending, they all found out at the same time we did: hence almost complete silence about the finale.

And you know what? They warned us. I talked about it here, but they’ve been telling us all season that Chuck wasn’t the writer, he’s the network. I don’t think, still, that they thought it would be cut up like this, into something so unsalvageable that it’s been panned by almost everyone, even people who didn’t care much about Dean and Cas.

Finally, a masterpiece can be ruined by editing, and while I’m not sure even the script they ended up shooting on was a masterpiece (due to the network meddling already), but to me it’s blatantly obvious that it’s no one but the network that caused this, that took away closure for Dean, Cas, and even Sam.

So what do I want? Nothing really, there’s nothing we can do, but I wrote this mostly to show people that the writers are not your enemy. In fact, to the people trashing them? You’re doing exactly what the CW wants you to: blame the obvious targets, blame Misha, blame Jensen and Jared, blame Dabb. Scream and yell at them on Twitter and about how the show is ruined because of them. The network keeps their engagement levels high, they don’t get as targeted for their behavior, and just keep moving along.

Just, please, think about who did this, Mourn the show, be angry, but not at the people who fought tooth and nail for this for literal years, not the people who wanted it more than we did, not the people who cannot say anything because of their careers and the NDAs they’re bound by.

Someone is going to spill eventually, but until then, we just have to wait, and continue to be loud.

#my writing #my meta #supernatural #spn #spn finale trash fire #MY MANIFESTO IS DONE

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alastaircarstairsdefenselawyer · 3 years ago

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champagne problems (part 1)

here's my first part of my modern no magic "champagne problems" singer-songwriter quarantine thomastair AU! happy birthday to @foxglove-airmid even though I don't think it's your birthday where you live anymore (and I still haven't posted zia's birthday fic, it'll happen I swear)!

no content warnings for this part (besides maybe quarantine), but future parts will include discussions of mental illness, substance abuse, and a suicide attempt

obviously, the song alastair "wrote" in the fic is not mine, it's by taylor swift! and a few of the lyrics have been changed!

Masterlist | AO3

Thomas breathed out a sigh of relief as he lugged his suitcase up onto the fifth floor landing.

“‘Ere we are,” Piers announced as he unlocked the door.

Thomas was utterly exhausted, such was the result of taking a redeye flight across the Atlantic during a global pandemic, but any idea of rest that he’d had was interrupted when he heard the sound of piano flood the apartment.

“Ah, sorry about that,” Piers nodded, “One of my flatmates, the walls are paper thin. He can’t record at the studio right now, but he’s trying to finish his EP, so it’s been a bit noisier around here. He’ll take a break soon, hopefully.”

Thomas shook his head. “It’s no problem. Thank you, again, for allowing me to stay here. I’ll be looking for my own place as soon as the quarantine is up.”

“Of course. You’ve got the couch as long as you need it. Couldn’t just hang you out to dry, could I? Although, you did pick a god awful time to move to the city, if I do say so myself.”

Thomas sat down on the couch and tried to make himself comfortable. It was more comfortable than the flight or the airport, at least. “I know… I considered postponing the move, but the visa was so difficult to get, I just couldn’t pass up the opportunity. They say this will all blow over in a couple of weeks, but borders are closing and I heard talk of them suspending all pending visa applications. I didn't know how long it would be if I waited, if the job was even still here for me at all.” Although at first entrance, the music had seemed to be a nuisance, it now comforted him. It wasn’t bad at all, in fact, it quite reminded him of the days Alastair’s playing had filled their flat…

“Where did you say you were working again? At a record company?”

“Yeah. I’m just doing pretty basic stuff for now, but if I ever do want to record my own music, I’ve got to start somewhere.”

“Hm,” Piers said, gesturing to the room the music was coming from. “Perhaps you’ll get on with him well, then. Would you like some tea?”

Thomas nodded and Piers went to start the teapot. Piers continued, “Though I suppose he's more of the tortured artist type. Very reserved, quite prickly. I didn't even meet him until a couple weeks after I moved in here because he was off in some psychiatric hospital.” Thomas shifted uncomfortably in his seat. He was never one for gossip. “My other roommate’s nice, though, I think you’ll like him. He-”

“How did you end up in New York, again? I don’t think I ever asked.”

Piers dove into the subject change quite readily, explaining his uni - or college - years in New York City and his decision to stay afterwards. Thomas had tuned most of it out, truthfully. It wasn’t that he was trying to be rude, but he was rather exhausted, and Piers was wearing thin on his patience.

As the kettle started to whine, Thomas heard the musician begin to sing, and he froze. It sounded so much like Alastair. But it couldn't be, could it? With over 8 million people living in the city, he would not end up in Alastair's apartment by accident. His Alastair was certainly reserved and prickly, but it wasn't possible. It must be like all those times he thought he saw him on a street he'd never walked or heard his laugh in a café he'd never been to. Just his mind, tricking him. Even if he knew that voice so well, despite not hearing it in so long.

“It’s quite good, isn’t it? His first single just dropped.” Piers asked, bringing over his cup of tea. He hadn’t realized it, but he’d been staring intently at the door.

Thomas took the cup. “Hm? Yeah, I guess. Thanks.”

“You should look it up. It’s called “champagne problems” by Simurgh. That’s spelled- Well, it should come up.”

The name Simurgh sounded familiar, but Thomas couldn’t put his finger on where he knew it from. At Piers’ insistence, he pulled out his phone and brought up the song. As he skimmed through the first few lines, a cold feeling settled in his stomach.

“You booked the night train for a reason So you could sit there in this hurt Bustling crowds or silent sleepers You're not sure which is worse”

“Simurgh,” Thomas realized.

“Yeah, I think it’s Arabic or something.”

It took Thomas a moment to process that Piers was responding to him. “It’s Persian.” He was certain that Alastair would have some very stern words to say if he heard Piers confusing the two, actually. Thomas had admittedly let his Farsi skills deteriorate quite a bit since the breakup, but he was fairly certain the name came from the Shahnameh. There was no doubt in Thomas’ mind now: he was staying in Alastair’s apartment, and Alastair’s first single was about one of the most painful days in Thomas’ life. “I, er, I used to study it.”

“Oh, yes, that’s right!” Piers launched into a tangent that Thomas tuned out as he read through the rest of the page.

“Because I dropped your hand while dancing Left you out there standing Crestfallen on the landing Champagne problems”

“Thomas? Are you alright?”

He realized then that his hand was trembling so badly that his tea nearly spilled. He used his other hand to steady it. “Oh, uh, yes, I’m just tired.”

“Perhaps you should rest. I can ask Alastair to quiet down for a while-”

“No!” he exclaimed rather too forcefully. “No, that’s not necessary. I’d just rather not talk, if that’s alright.”

Piers nodded.

Thomas kept reading.

“Your mom's ring in your pocket My picture in your wallet Your heart was glass, I dropped it Champagne problems”

Of all the songs, why did he release the one about him? Why was it about a memory still so painful in Thomas’ heart, all of these years later? He remembered it so well, standing there, alone, shattered into a million pieces.

“You told your family for a reason You couldn't keep it in Your sister splashed out on the bottle Now no one's celebrating”

He was fairly certain that Barbara had been more excited than even he was, confident that Alastair would accept, and so very proud of her baby brother, all grown up. She’d been furious when it fell apart, but it was her who stood with him during the aftermath, who boarded him onto a train to Edinburgh to visit Eugenia when he couldn’t stand to be in the same city as him any longer, who went through his phone, blocking all of Alastair’s accounts so that he could obsess over him no longer, who comforted him as he wept and held him as he picked the pieces of himself back up again.

And all the more sour was the memory in light of her death.

“Dom Pérignon, you brought it No crowd of friends applauded Your hometown skeptics called it Champagne problems”

He looked up at Piers, who had fortunately become enthralled with something on his phone and was no longer paying Thomas any mind. He lifted the teacup gingerly to his lips, but he felt far too sick to take a drink.

“You had a speech, you're speechless Love slipped beyond your reaches And I couldn't give a reason Champagne problems”

A reason, that’s all Thomas had wanted. Just any explanation. He understood if they were moving too fast, or perhaps he’d misread something, but he just didn’t understand it.

Why? Why can’t you tell me why? I deserve an explanation, Alastair. Please, anything.

I… I’m sorry, Thomas.

Stop it! Stop apologizing! We can just go home and pretend this never happened, please, forget about all of it, it was a stupid idea-

Thomas, stop. I shouldn’t’ve… This was a mistake. I’m sorry I didn’t see that sooner.

That was the moment Thomas felt his heart stop beating.

“Your Midas touch on the Chevy door November flush and your flannel cure "This dorm was once a madhouse" I made a joke, "Well, it's made for me" How evergreen, our group of friends Don't think we'll say that word again And soon they'll have the nerve to deck the halls That we once walked through”

Despite the nearly two decades Thomas had spent in London before Alastair, it was never the same without him. He saw him everywhere he went, despite knowing he was thousands of miles away. After graduating uni that May, he accepted a spot at a graduate program in Spain and didn’t look back.

“One for the money, two for the show I never was ready so I watch you go Sometimes you just don't know the answer 'Til someone's on their knees and asks you "You’re the only one I want by my side, What a shame you’re fucked in the head," you said”

Those were the words that haunted Thomas’ nightmares, even now.

It’s you! It’s only you for me! It was always going to be you! But I can see now that I was never going to be enough for you, you and your secrets and walls and your lies. It’s a shame… it’s a shame you’re so fucked in the head, Alastair. You’ll never truly love anyone, will you? You’re not physically capable of it.

Alastair hadn’t responded. Thomas had wanted a rise out of him, any reaction at all, despite knowing how lethal and volatile Alastair could become when provoked. But there was nothing. Not a flicker of anything in his steeled expression. He’d simply looked down, apologized again for any pain that he’d caused, and left.

That was the last time they’d spoken.

Thomas and his sister left for Edinburgh that night, and when he’d returned to London, Alastair was gone.

“Well, you'll find the real thing instead Who'll patch up your tapestry that I shred And hold your hand while dancing Never leave you standing Crestfallen on the landing With champagne problems”

Thomas couldn’t imagine giving his heart to anyone again, not now and certainly not then. He’d dated in Madrid, but it had always stayed casual. He’d made sure of it. He could see now that he and Alastair had gotten together quickly, moved in together quickly, done all of it very quickly. After all, he’d fallen hard and fast. He gave all of himself to Alastair, and he’d nearly lost all of himself in the process.

“Your mom's ring in your pocket New picture in your wallet You won't remember all my Champagne problems

“You won't remember all my Champagne problems”

Now, he wondered what the rest of the story was. He’d convinced himself that Alastair had never loved him, that he was heartless and cruel, though he’d known that wasn’t true. Could Alastair have written this song if he’d never truly loved him? Perhaps he was a sociopath.

Thomas felt like he should run. Like he should pick up his bag and dart out of the apartment before Alastair could notice him, find some hotel somewhere with undoubtedly extraordinary high rates and just pretend like this never happened. He could get back on a plane and go back home to his parents and delete his phone browser history and pretend like this was all just a bad dream. But he could not move.

He didn’t know how many minutes had passed before Alastair’s door opened. He looked up with a start.

“Thomas,” Alastair breathed. He stood wide eyed, flushed.

“Do you two already know each other then?” Piers asked.

There was a moment of silence before Thomas cleared his throat. “We used to,” he said, looking down.

“I, er, I forgot that your friend was coming today,” Alastair told Piers. “It’s quite a long journey from London, you should have told me, I would have been quieter.”

Thomas considered correcting him for a moment, but decided not to. “Don’t worry about it. I heard you had your first big release. Congratulations.”

Alastair gave an awkward nod. “Thank you. Right, well, I’ll just…” He rushed over to the kitchen and pulled a bottle of water from the fridge. “I’ll try to be a bit quieter.”

“Don’t- It’s fine, really. In fact, I’m sure there’s some hotel in the area I can stay at for now, actually-”

“Well, don’t leave on my account,” Alastair interrupted. “We agreed to let you stay here, and the city’s a bloody mess right now. I’ll stay out of your hair, Thomas.”

Thomas only nodded as Alastair disappeared back behind his bedroom door.

Thanks for reading! Taglist (ask to be +/-): @stxr-thxif @chaos-and-starlight @zosiaenrique @lifewouldbebetteronmars @littlx-songbxrd @dianasarrow @eugeniaslongsword @bookswitchcraftandcats @jamesherondaleofficial @thomas-gaypanic-lightwood @livingformyself @anarmorofwords @foxglove-airmid @writeforjordelia @sapphic-in @jem-nasium @fortheloveofthecarstairs @alastair-esfandiyar-carstairs1 @shadowrunner2000 @thewarthatsavedmylife @fair-childd @itsjusta-j-really

#alastair carstairs #thomas lightwood #thomastair #tlh #the last hours #fanfic #fanfiction #champagne problems au

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xoxo-teddybear · 4 years ago

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Oh, The Lies You Tell - Bakugou Katsuki - pt.8

Bakugou x f!reader

Warnings: angst, trauma, abuse, betrayal, fluff, slice of life, smut, cursing, manipulation, possible spoilers, physical harm, 18+, MANGA SPOILERS

Ep. Warnings: ANGST, cursing, manga spoilers

Summary: it’s time for the battle competition! Or so the students of UA think. Just before the battle starts, a portal opens up and chaos is unleashed. Everything would’ve been fine if Dabi hadn’t exposed the truth.

BAKUGOU’S MASTERLIST

Pt.1 Pt.2 Pt.3 Pt.4 Pt.5 Pt.6 Pt.7 Pt.8 Pt.9

After the long drive, a break, mind-blowing sex, and another long drive, UA has finally made it to the battle competition! The students all marveled in their seats as they looked out the bus windows. The buses for all the schools were parked atop a cliff. The area the students would be participating in was below in and it was nothing but forests, valleys, mountains, rivers, and meadows for miles. This was a race and only the best school and best students will win.

“And welcome to the competition UA,” Aizawa tiredly said. The students all cheered as they exited the bus and stepped foot onto the soft grass. They felt the breeze blowing and felt ready to go. “There’s a building down that path, you can change into your costumes there and wait for further instruction. And Y/N, you won’t be able to be with Rumor on this, so I’ll watch him for the time being. See you all soon.”

The students were excited as they quickly scrambled down the path as Rumor went with Aizawa to wherever.

“Man, after all that time we’re finally here!” Kirishima said. “We’re definitely gonna kick some ass the second we step foot in there,”

“No shit, Shitty Hair. These losers don’t stand a chance,” Bakugou said with a malicious grin. They Bakusquad continued to walk and talk as Bakugou kept his arm around you but he once again noticed your unusual silence.

“Hey..princess, tell me what’s up?” He whispered with a concerned voice. You looked up to him as you snapped out of your haze and stared at him with loving eyes.

“I’m fine Suki...just nervous.” You said with a slight laugh to appear okay. Bakugou took your word for it but still held some concern as he felt somewhere in his heart that there was more to the story.

“About what? You’re one of the best fighters here, you don’t gotta worry about anything. You’ll do great out there Princess. Promise.” He said before he kissed your forehead to reassure you. You gave a nervous laugh as you continued to stare off into space. You were scared.

The league would be coming after you sent the coordinates. Your palms were sweaty and your throat felt dry as you got closer and closer to the assembly building. You wanted to cry so bad for so many reasons. You were lost, you didn’t want anybody to be hurt, you didn’t want the truth exposed....you didn’t want to leave UA...and you didn’t want to leave Bakugou.

Time passed and the others spoke of whatever. You wouldn’t know. You were too busy stressing over the villains upcoming arrival. Class 1-A walked in and took notice of all the schools in the building. Infront of the crowd was a stage and a podium. You felt Bakugou’s grip on you tighten and you laughed as you saw he was looking at all the boys staring at you. You loved your jealous little pomeranian.

Students mumbled and talked amongst each other until a man came up to the podium and addressed everyone.

“Hello students! Welcome to the battle competition, Olympus! Today, all you hero trainees will battle against other schools as you all race to the top of the mountain on the other side of the valley. When you reach the top, there will be people awaiting your arrival to bestow upon you the chalice of victory!” The students cheered at the news and got all riled up. They piped down once the man began to speak again.

“Here’s how this will work. Each class from every school will be given a certain location somewhere out in the field. Don’t worry, it’ll all be at an equal difficulty and distance from the finish line so there’s no advantage for anybody. Once you hear the gun go off, you will all run through the wild to get to the top. Maps will be passed out to each of you right now and along with that, a badge that each of you will get that will tell everyone what team/class you’re apart of and it will connect you and your teammates to one team. Now, classes MUST stick together and everyone must arrive at the same time. Along with the obstacles of nature, some of you will fall into certain traps. There are markings placed at random in the field and once a member of the class steps into it, you will wait until another class gets trapped and you shall battle. Winners get to move on and continue the race. The competition will last for 3 days and if you haven’t made it to the finish line by the morning of the 4th, you must remain where you are so that we can find you and track you by your badge. Everybody clear?”

Students cheered once more as a way of agreement and got ready. “Good. All of you will be directed to the changing areas. There’s over 4,000 stalls, gender is separated, and each student will be able to get their own changing area. Put on your hero costumes and head to your class’s assigned location. Good luck to you all.”

Students got rowdy as they all began to leave the room. You and the Bakusquad stayed and talked for a bit before you kissed Bakugou and left to put on your costume.

You got to your own stall and quickly changed. As you finished you looked in the mirror. You, a villain, dressed as a hero. Comical. But yet, you smiled at the new look. You felt that it really suited you. You snapped out of your gaze and went to the earring hidden in your bag.

“Hello? Can anyone hear me?” You whispered softly into the earring. A minute passed before Shigaraki answered.

“Tell me the coordinates.” You bit your lip in hesitation. Was this really what you wanted to do? You held a shaky breath as you spoke

“43.5647 to 12.8499.”

“See you soon.” And just like that, the call was over. You released a deep sigh in regret and anxiety as you gathered your things and walked to the given location. There you met with all your classmates and Bakugou. He welcomed you with open arms as he pulled you in for an embrace.

“Hey Princess. Everyone already discussed a plan so I’ll fill you in on the way,” He said after he pecked your forehead. Oh his sweet kisses. One of the things you’ll dearly miss when you have to go your separate ways.

“Hi....” Bakugou once again held a frown and concerned stare as your unusual behavior kicked back in. He held you tighter as he tilted your head up by your chin and gave you a loving kiss. He pressed his forehead against yours as your head was still tilted towards the sky.

“What’s wrong Y/N?...Please,” he begged. He knew something had been wrong for awhile and now he was desperate for an answer. You held your breath as you stared at him with sad eyes and a fallen jaw. You squeezed your E/C eyes shut as you shook your head to the ground and placed it against his chest.

“Katsuki, I have to tell you somethi-“

*BANG!*

That was it. The sound of the start of the race. Students began running to the forest and you sighed as you realized this was destiny trying to tell you to not go. You shook off your nerves as you looked towards Katsuki.

“It’s okay, you can tell me later. C’mon,” he said as he grabbed your hand and began to run but with the first step that you took, your eyes glowed and you didn’t see Katsuki or the competition anymore. It was bright and white and all you could see was Korra’s angry face as her eyes also glowed.

“TELL HIM THE TRUTH Y/N!” She yelled with the voices of all the other avatars. Your eyes filled with tears as they shut again and you shook your head.

“I can’t! I’m sorry!” You cried out.

“CHOOSE THE RIGHT PATH!”

“I-I can’t! I don’t know what to do anymore!”

“Y/N!”

...

“Y/N!......Y/N!” Bakugou said as he shook you. Out of nowhere your eyes glowed and you froze in your tracks. Bakugou stopped running when he didn’t feel you follow him and when he looked back he did everything he could to snap you out of your avatar state. After a minute you finally settled and your eyes returned back to normal. You fell into his arms as your groaned in exhaustion.

“Katsuki....?” You softly spoke out as he held you against his chest.

“Are you okay?! What’s wrong?!” He frantically asked. The competition completely left his mind as he shifted his everything to you.

“I’m...im fine. It was just..Korra. She..spoke to me.” You explained.

“Are you okay? Do you need to sit?” He offered as he attempted to walk you to a tree stump so you could rest but you stopped him.

“No, no it’s fine Katsuki....we have to do this competition..” you said with stern eyes.

“No Y/N, I think you shoul-“

“Katsuki.” He looked at you and noticed your serious tone and strong grip as you held onto his arms. “Please.”

“.....okay.” And so you both ran to catch up with your class. You strained and shook off your headache as you thought about your past choices. Fear bubbled up inside of you as you looked towards Katsuki. He seemed focused on the task at hand and so you followed. What you didn’t realize was that under his cool, composed cover, he was nervous. He wanted you to be okay, it was all he yearned for but he also wanted to give you whatever you desired so if going through with the stupid race was what you wanted, then your wish is his command.

You both finally caught up with the class and out of nowhere, a trap was sprung. Denki had stepped into a red zone and all of 1-A’s badges glowed as the ground crumbled beneath them and they all fell into some arena in a cavern. The students plopped onto the ground, some on top of each other, as they all coughed from the dust and examined the area.

“You okay Princess?” Bakugou asked.

“I’m fine Suki,” you reassured him.

“What the hell Dunce Face?! Why didn’t you watch where you were going?!” Bakugou screamed at the poor blonde.

“Cool it man,” Bakugou’s best friend had said as he hooked his arms under Bakugou’s to keep him from attacking the electric boy. “Kaminari didn’t know what the traps looked like. None of us did so it’s good that we can identify them now. All we have to do is wait for another class to fall into another trap so we can fight ‘em and win”

“We’re losing time! Now we have to wait for some dumbasses and if nobody shows up, we’re stuck here! Like losers!” Bakugou said as he huffed and plopped on his ass to the ground infront of Y/N as he placed his chin in his hand. Y/N placed her hands on his shoulders to calm him.

“Kirishima is right, there’s hundreds of kids here and nobody who hasn’t sprung a trap knows what they look like. Somebody is bound to fall down here soon,” you reassured your angry boyfriend. Some of the class settled until a few minutes later, a voice spoke up.

“That you are correct, little mouse. Your opponents are here, but it’s not who you’d be expecting.”

Your eyes shot forward as you recognized the voice.

“Oh no...” you whispered and took your hands off of Bakugou as you stood straight. Everyone turned towards you as they watched you tremble.

“Princess, are you okay?” Bakugou asked as he stood up and held your hands.

“She’s fine blondie. She just knows what’s coming like the smart little puppet she is,” Shigaraki said as he stepped out of the shadows. The class shook and stilled at his appearance and got into defensive positions. The rest of the league popped out of the shadows and the class looked in confusion as they spoke on their concerns.

“What they hell are they doing here?!”

“What’s going on?”

“Should we get help?” The class all asked aloud. You shook off your nerves as you took your hands out of Bakugou’s as he looked at you in worry. You clapped your hands as a gust of wind hit everyone to bring their attention onto you. It was silent as everyone watched you speak.

“..Where are the actual opponents? What did you do to the students?” You shakenly asked. Dabi smirked as he walked back into the shadows and then returned before tossing an unconscious body in front of the class. You quickly ran to him and used your water bending to check on his body and health. The water went all around the poor student until you stopped your movements. He’s dead.

“Heh..you should see the rest of the students, little mouse,” Dabi said as he walked to you and gripped your chin in his hands to make you face him. As he smirked at you, an explosion was sent his way but he jumped and dodged it.

“Get your hands off of her!” Bakugou screamed as he ran to you. He brought you back into his arms as you just stared at Dabi.

“It’s not her you should be protecting, hero,” Dabi hinted. You cringed at his words but Bakugou ignored them as he seethed out a question.

“What the hell do you bastards want?!” He asked and Shigaraki was the first to answer his question.

“Take a guess!” He said as he directed the league to attack. Toga was the first to move as she went towards the girls and attempted to sliced at them. Dabi followed as he sent flames to the ground, but Todoroki was quick and put them out with his ice. The two brothers stared at each other, one with a nonchalant determined face and the other with a cocky smirk.

It was here and now. The attack was happening and it was happening to your class right now. All the students sprung into action as they fought villains, multiple students vs single villains. Sadly, the class were the ones struggling. Bakugou fought at Dabi as he pushed Todoroki away.

“Pick someone else IcyHot! I want this Bastard to myself!” The blonde said before he pounced to the fiery villain. Todoroki shifted as he and Midoriya worked at Shigaraki and you stood in pain at all the violence. You heard screams of pain from your classmates and you felt your own heart breaking. Due to your out of zone state, you couldn’t sense the blue flames coming your way until Bakugou screamed your name.

“Y/N! This isn’t the time for your daydreams! Get your head in the game!” He said. Delivery was a little harsh, but necessary. You quickly snapped out of it as you bended Dabi’s flames away.

“Poor little Y/N. Always a burden, always a bother.” Those words rung in your ears as you advanced towards Dabi. As you jumped mid-air, it was like time slowed down as Dabi’s eyes had slanted as he stared you down. “You sure you wanna do that...little mouse?”

His tone, cold, and your eyes widen in fear. The name, the way he spoke. It was the same voice and degrading name he used when he would attack you as a punishment. You quickly stopped your attack and stared infront of him. You looked up at him in fear as he smirked down at you. You may have changed the slightest bit but you were still a submissive little punching bag to the league. As you both held a staring match, one in fear and one in power, Bakugou blasted Dabi away from you. The black haired man groaned in pain as he felt the burn of the explosion and watched from a distance as Bakugou ran to guard you.

“Are you okay, Princess?” He asked you while he still watched Dabi in caution. You nodded your head and gave a “mhm,” as a reply as you both watched Dabi get up. He and Bakugou jumped at each other as they fought. Bakugou threw punch after punch as Dabi dodged each one while he spoke.

“Princess, Huh? *dodge* Never knew you were into villains Katsuki,” Dabi said as he dodged again.

“Shut up! You don’t know shit! That was her past!” Bakugou screamed as he continued to attack.

“Past?! *dodge* HA! You think your little Princess is an ex-con?!” He laughed in Bakugou’s face.

“She did what she had to!” Bakugou screamed once more. He swung again but Dabi caught his fist this time.

“Really? I didn’t know robbing banks, murdering people, and joining the League of Villains counted as survival,” Dabi said in his face. Bakugou face sprouted a confused look as Dabi threw him back.

“What?” Bakugou seethed threw grinded teeth. Your heart began to race as Dabi continued to talk.

“You don’t know Y/N at all Katsuki.” Dabi said as he gave you the side eye and watched your fearful and angry gaze.

“Stop talking Dabi,” you quietly said, however Dabi still heard. Including Bakugou.

“Your precious little Princess is on our side, hero. She’s a villain. And not just any villain. She’s the best of the best when it comes to the girls.” Bakugou shook his head in anger as he ran back to Dabi and threw punch after punch and kick after kick.

“SHUT UP!” He screamed at the villain but Dabi just dodged and continued. Bakugou was so confused and so angered that his emotions took control. His fighting faultered and Dabi had the upper hand as he attacked Bakugou and threw him into a small boulder. Bakugou groaned as he sat exhausted against the rock. He breathed heavily as he watched Dabi walk to Y/N, take her hand, walk closer to Bakugou, and wrap his arm over her shoulder. “GET AWAY FROM HER YOU FUCKING BASTARD!”

“Heh...do you wanna tell him or should I, Princess?” Dabi asked as he mocked the nickname Bakugou gave you. Your eyes teared as your breath became jagged and you looked towards Bakugou. Katsuki noticed how you didn’t remove Dabi’s arm and just stayed silent.

“Y/N?” He whimpered out as he looked at you for some sort of answer. What the hell was Dabi talking about? Grand theft? Murder? Joining the league? He needs an answer. Bakugou watched you swallow down a nervous breath as you hesitantly spoke.

“Katsuki.....I’m Titania....and...I..I’m a part of the League.” You said with a quivering lip. Bakugou’s eyes went wide as he felt his entire world shatter. The girl he fell in love with and gave his entire being to was an undercover villain. He felt tears stinging his eyes as he spoke.

“W-what?” He questioned. Dabi groaned aloud in annoyance as he threw his head back dramatically and continued the talk.

“Your little girlfriend here is a villain. In fact..this whole attack was her plan,” Dabi smirked out. Bakugou watched you as you kept your head down with a shadow casting over your face. An obvious frown adorned your lips. The lips that Bakugou had kissed a thousand times over and they belonged to the most heinous female villain. Bakugou dropped his head down as his eyes stayed open in shock. He felt a panic attack coming onto him as his breaths got heavier and he freaked out.

‘This can’t be true....She loves me! She would never....she could never do this! It’s Y/N! She’s...She can’t be a villain! She would never lie to me like this...’ Bakugou’s thoughts became too much so he screamed as he got up and ran to attack the both of you. He jumped into the air and released an explosion to the both of you but you both had dodged. When Bakugou dropped back to the ground he quickly ran to you and tackled you to the ground. He pinned you down as he hovered over you trying to scan your face for some sort of reasonable answer or explanation.

“Y/N!” He screamed in your face as he shook with tears falling from his ruby eyes. He watched as your lips continued to whimper and the shadow over your face remained. Dabi used his fire to send an attack towards you both and instead of burning you both, it stung as it pushed you both away. The two of you fell down a tunnel. You both held onto each other as you guys tumbled down a tunnel. When you both hit the ground again, you realized you ended up in a cave away from the fighting. Ahead of you was an opening to the outside world. You continued to lay on the ground as Bakugou stayed atop of you as he cried and whimpered into your shoulder. You gently pushed him off of you as you stood and tried to walk to the exit, but before you’d could take a step, Bakugou quickly grabbed onto your wrist.

You looked down at him with sad eyes as you watched him keep his head down as fat tears dropped from his eyes. He stayed on the ground, seated on his knees as he cried.

“Please tell me it isn’t true, Princess..” he whispered. You felt tears invade your own eyes as you squeezed them shut. You both stayed like that for awhile as you released silent tears.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered as you tried to help Bakugou stand but once he got to his feet he gripped your shoulders.

“Tell me everything! ...NOW!” He screamed with his eyes open and full of tears. You stared at him with an apologetic face as you shook your head.

“We have to go Katsuki, we have to get help.” Bakugou shook his head ‘no’ but allowed you to drag him out of the cave and into the opening. It was getting late and the evening had already started as the blue sky darkened a bit. You stomped your foot into the ground to use your earth bending to figure out exactly where you both were. Once you felt the vibrations, you realized you were too far to even locate the others or even the competition grounds. You guys were lost.

“We’re too far away from everything Katsuki. We should look around a bit and see if we can find our way back.” Bakugou held onto your wrist before you walked again.

“You owe me an explanation when all of this is over, Y/N.” He quietly said with a sad tone.

“...I owe you a lot more than that Katsuki. But I will be giving you an explanation...and with how far we are away from everyone, I might have time to give it to you sooner than you think.” You explained. You and Bakugou walked on with heavy hearts but the both of you both had the exact same question ringing in your minds.

‘What are we now?’

—

You both walked for miles and yet you still got nowhere. Everytime you stopped and checked to see where you guys were, it felt like you guys just got farther away from everyone. You silently begged for Rumor to just find you and regretted not having him just shrink down to a mouse to carry around.

Bakugou trailed behind you. His crying had gone on for some time but eventually stopped, however when it did, his sadness was replaced with anger. He was pissed. He doesn’t know where he was, what he’s doing, what’s going on, and he doesn’t even know who he’s with right now. He’s basically with a stranger at the moment.

Eventually, it grew dark and the sun had set while the moon had began to rise. While you continued to look for a way back, Bakugou was aware of his surroundings and stopped you by grabbing onto your arm.

“Stop walking, moron. Can’t you see it’s dark?” He said as he looked at you with a bored expression. You turned back and scoffed at him in disbelief.

“We’re lost. We have no idea where we are and have no idea how to get back. If we stop now, we’ll lose time and it’ll take forever to get back. And who knows what’s happening now to our classmates?!” You exclaimed. Bakugou shook his head at you when you finished.

“They’re my classmates. Not yours,” truthfully, saying that broke him a bit, but he had to continue, “and if we keep going, we’ll die out here in the wild. We should find a safe place to sleep for the night and find some fire wood to keep warm. Maybe get some food to fight off hunger.”

“We’ll be fine if we keep going. I’ve survived the streets before, we’ll be okay.” You said and attempted to walk again but Bakugou held you back.

“Well this isn’t the streets Y/N. There isn’t a store full of food we can rob when we’re hungry and there isn’t an overhead tunnel at every turn that we can sleep in. This is a forest. So just shut up and listen to me.” He said, his grip on your arm slightly getting tighter. You winced the tiniest bit and Bakugou saw as he quickly took his hand off your arm. He cringed at his action but shook off the bad thoughts. “C’mon, let’s go. We gotta find some shelter.”

You thought about it for a bit and realized he was right. This wasn’t the city. You sighed and bit the inside of your cheek before answering. “Okay.”

As you silently trailed behind Bakugou, you realized you just followed him blindly. It was like he read your mind when he spoke again. “I saw a cave awhile back. We’ll camp out there. Along the way let’s just collect some firewood whenever we see some.”

You followed his orders and by the time you guys made it to the cave, you were all set to sleep. You collected wood for a fire and even leaf piles to sleep on. As you both entered the cave, Bakugou set up your sleeping area and you started the fire with your bending. Once you were done you took a seat infront of the fire and just stared at the bright flame. Here you were in a cave with your....well now you were back to where you started with him. You didn’t know what you two were anymore.

Bakugou finished with the leaves and when he turned around, he saw you sitting on the ground with a blank look. He looked at you with sad eyes and a broken heart before he sighed and sat in-front of you on the other side of the fire. You looked towards him in confusion as to why he sat but then it came to you.

“Talk.” He said as he looked towards you. You stared at him and saw he was working to build up his walls again as if he was preparing himself for disappointment. He was smart for doing so though because disappointment was exactly what he would be feeling. That and probably some severe heartache. You pressed your lips together with a sad look on your face as you came to the conclusion that there was no avoiding the truth now.

“....I’m not who you think I am.” You said and it was like the air thickened as you watched how his jaw clenched and his eyes teared behind his mask.

“My name is Y/N L/N, I’m 16....and I’m a member of the League of Villains,” Bakugou’s breath stilled as he heard the words leave your mouth. He already heard it once but hearing it now as confirmation hurt.

“The story I told you when we were in the kitchen that night was all true. I just left out some details and kind of switched the story around. The place I was born in was a hidden village. The people there had the abilities to control the 4 elements. My parents had me but were killed by the cult I mentioned before. They took my people in so they could use their abilities to create the weapons, but me being so young, I had no idea how to control them. Eventually, I discovered I was the one who could bend all 4 elements instead of just one....I discovered I was the avatar.” You breathed out.

“The avatar?” Bakugou scoffed, “the bridge between the spirit world and physical world? The person destined to bring peace to the world? That’s nothing but a legend.”

“Wellll then I guess I’m a legend so thank you for that compliment.” You said and Bakugou stared at you in shock. He was sitting with the actual avatar. “Blah blah blah, trained with a master, blah blah blah, and that’s when the league found me. They saw my abilities and took me in. But you don’t get to live in the league’s hideout once you join. You work your way up the food chain and so I had to live on the streets and do their dirty work to prove myself. I did it for survival, but in the end, being a villain was all I knew. So I stuck to it. I officially became a member and I eventually became Titania, the best female villain alive.”

“....Why did you come to UA?” He asked.

“I didn’t want to. I came for a job. Aizawa and I were fighting when he took me away while I was injured and offered to take me in and put me in school. Said he saw good in me....obviously he was wrong considering the only thing that triggered me to go was the fact that there was an opportunity to take down UA and prove myself to the league.” You explained. You noticed Bakugou kept quiet and bit his lip as he seemed to have shook a little before asking the next question.

“...What about me? What part did I play in this fucking game you got going on?” He asked. You didn’t look at him the entire time. You kept your eyes on the fire and held a nonchalant face the entire time.

“You were the only part of my UA life that was genuine. I didn’t come here looking for a relationship and I didn’t need a relationship to take down UA.....but then you came into my life. You showed up and something about you...just made sense to me. And it gave me a comforting feeling I never got to experience before. You gave me a break from my chaotic life and it was the refresher I needed.” Bakugou blushed at your confession but still felt sorrow. Your feelings for him were true but that doesn’t change the fact that you lied to him and never told him who you truly were. You were also a villain while he was a hero trainee. This relationship was wrong. He dropped his head as tears began to pool at his eyes.

“.....I still love you, Princess.” He confessed.

“I know...and I still love you Suki..”

“........WHY DID YOU HAVE TO LIE?!” He screamed as he stood up. “YOU LIED TO ME ABOUT WHO YOU WERE!”

“I did a lot of things but I have never lied to you about who I was or what I felt towards you,” you calmly said to his loud proclaims.

“BUT YOU DIDNT TELL ME THE TRUTH EITHER Y/N! ....You didn’t tell me anything. You left me in the dark. You made me fall in love with you...and now I don’t know what to do...” he sobbed out. “You’re a villain...my dream is to be the number one hero...but I love you...but it’s wrong for me to not put you behind bars.”

You just looked at him with a straight face but it was clear you were hurting as well. But you still continued to let him take his frustrations out on you.

“I’m sorry Katsuki..”

“SORRY ISNT GONNA FIX ME Y/N! SORRY ISNT GONNA MAKE ME STOP LOVING YOU! SORRY ISNT GONNA STOP ME FROM BEING ANY LESS CONFUSED!”

A silence fell over the two of you. Bakugou was so hurt and it was all your fault. He didn’t deserve this. None of them did. And yet you still followed through with this horrible plan. You knew what had to be done.

“Let’s just get some rest..we should start our search for home again in the morning,” you said as you got up and walked over to the sleeping area. But this only triggered Bakugou even more.

“Rest?! REST?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME Y/N?! YOU’RE JUST GONNA DROP THE CONVERSATION LIKE THIS ISNT FUCKING IMPORTANT?!,” he said with tears in his eyes as he stood and screamed at you.

“YES! THIS ISNT FUCKING IMPORTANT! IF IT ISNT OBVIOUS, WE’RE DONE. OVER. SO LETS JUST FORGET ABOUT THIS AND FOCUS ON FINDING OUR WAY HOME!” You screamed back. The cave grew empty as silence filled the air. Bakugou felt his heart die in his chest. He loved you, even though you were a villain he still loved you. He didn’t want this to be over..but you? You were really willing to drop this relationship? Just like that?

“So..that’s it? You’re not even gonna try for us anymore? You’re not even gonna fight for us to be together?” He asked with tears in his eyes.

“......there is no more ‘us’ anymore, Bakugou.”

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plaidbooks · 4 years ago

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Hi babes - a request that’s kind of specific- (readerxcarisi) this would take place in season 19, episode 8 where Rollins and Carisi are at the shitty motel and they have that moment. So the idea would be that reader is also a detective, maybe newer or something tagging along with them two and reader knows Carisi has a thing for Rollins and reader was with him when they saw the guy leaving Amanda’s room. Reader is there for him after and he realizes maybe he was chasing the wrong girl??

New Girl

A/N: Hey Anon! I had to rewatch this to do some of the dialogue from it (I condensed the first scene so it’s not incredibly long.) but it’s a good idea to rewtach this ep before reading....unless you remember that Heather was the catfisher and stuff. Anyways, this is a little longer cause t’s slower paced. I like the idea of being there for someone without needing to ask. Also yes, I’m taking the chance to flex some sports knowledge, sorry not sorry. Hope you enjoy <3

Tags: none

Words: 2727

Taglist: @the-baby-bookworm @beccabarba @thatesqcrush @itsjustmyfantasyroom @stardust-fray @permanentlydizzy @infiniteoddball @ben-c-group-therapy @glowingmess @whimsicallymad @lv7867 @storiesofsvu @reading--mermaid @averyhotchner @mrsrafaelbarba @detective-giggles

“They traced the IP address to West Virginia,” Sonny said to Olivia, as they both came into the precinct.

“Good, get a John Doe warrant and send it to the local precinct,” Liv replied.

“Done and done.”

Liv gave him a smirk. “Then fill up your gas tank. Fin, you’re riding shotgun.”

“Oh, hell no; I’m allergic to West Virginia,” Fin said, leaning back in his chair.

Liv sighed. “Okay, Rollins, you’re up.”

“Really?” she whined.

Liv glanced between the two, already looking tired of this crap. “Come on, someone’s gotta translate for him,” she joked, gesturing at Sonny, who rolled his eyes.

“I’ll go,” you perked up. You were still the new kid, so you were jumping at every opportunity to go out in the field. Plus, you had a massive crush on Sonny, and being stuck in a car with him seemed like a good chance to learn more about him.

Liv gave you a relieved smile. “Thank you; at least someone here wants to work. But I’d also like someone with experience; Rollins, you’re going too.”

***************

The drive wasn’t awkward…at least, not for Sonny and Amanda. They’ve been partners for years now, chatting up a storm. You sat in the back seat, listening in on their stories, jumping in when appropriate, but otherwise fading into the leather behind you. This wasn’t what you had hoped for when you thought about going to West Virginia with Sonny, but at least you were getting some experience in the field…right?

The arrest was quick, painless. You actually found yourself feeling bad for Heather as you had her arrested in her mother’s home. But then you remembered what happened to Katie, and it solidified your resolve.

When Amanda suggested you three, and Chuck, the local officer, go to The Barrel—the local bar—for information, you’re first thought was that maybe alcohol would help you loosen up around Sonny. But after a few shots and a cocktail, all you saw was how he looked at Amanda, and you cursed yourself for not seeing it sooner. Why would he ever fall for someone like you when he could be with someone like her? And they were already so close; what was the point of trying?

Complaining about a headache, you excused yourself, telling them you’d see them in the morning.

“Want me to walk ya back to your room?” Sonny asked, looking concerned.

Your heart fluttered at the thought, but then you remembered the heart eyes he’d been giving Amanda all evening. “No, I’m fine. Thanks though.” You wandered back to the hotel across the parking lot, wiping the tears from your face, locking yourself in your room.

******************

You were in the hotel lobby making yourself coffee when Sonny came in.

“Morning, [y/n],” he said, smiling at you. “Feeling better today?”

You melted at his smile, tears threatening to form again, but you pushed down your feelings. “Uh, yeah, much better. How’d you sleep? Hopefully you and Rollins weren’t up too late.”

“Nah, it was fine. We may have started a bar fight, though,” Sonny grinned at you, and you giggled, trying to picture him fighting anyone. He went about making two coffees and grabbing an assortment of free breakfast foods. He put everything on a tray and you followed him out, heading towards Amanda’s room as he called Liv to give her an update. But you both froze as a man came out of Amanda’s room, both of them chatting for a moment before he left. And Sonny’s face fell as he turned and went towards his SUV instead.

You gave Amanda’s closed door one last look before you went after Sonny. He stopped at his SUV, putting the tray on top so that he could fish his keys out of his pocket. He sniffled and it was only then you realized he was crying.

“Hey, you okay?” you asked tentatively. But you knew the answer—of course you did. Because you had felt your heart shatter last night.

“Fine,” he grunted, opening the driver’s door and sliding in. This was sure to be a fun ride back to New York. Grabbing the tray he had left on the roof of his SUV, you climbed in behind the passenger seat.

You sat in silence for a few awkward moments before you said softly, “I’m so sorry, Sonny. If you ever need to talk, I’m here for you.”

*****************

The ride back was worse, to say the least. The tension in the air was thick, not to mention, you sat in back with Heather, who seemed to be daydreaming about meeting The Monster. You found yourself watching Sonny, or at least, the half of his face that you could see. He was quiet, subdued; so unlike him, and you realized you hated it. You wanted him to be his laughing, jokey self. You tried asking him questions—and Amanda, so you weren’t too obvious—but he wasn’t all there, his mind somewhere far away. Eventually, you gave up. falling into the silence of the drive.

*****************

Liv mercifully gave the three of you the rest of the day off after delivering Heather to the precinct. You were just debating what to do for dinner when there was a knock at your door. Curious, you unlocked it, opening it to see Sonny shuffling on his feet on your doorstep.

“Son?” you asked in confusion.

He gave you a nervous smile. “Hey, can I come in?”

“Uh, yeah. ‘Course.” You moved out of the way, letting him enter your brownstone.

You both stood there awkwardly before he asked, “have you had dinner yet? If not, I can maybe whip something up? Or I can order takeout?”

“I haven’t yet, no.” Now thoroughly confused, you shrugged, playing along. “Did you have something in mind? I was thinking of ordering a pizza or something….”

“Pizza sounds great. Here, I’ll order. You like pepperoni, right?”

******************

You both idly chatted while waiting for the pizza to arrive, the awkward tension still palpable. Sonny didn’t say why he came over and you didn’t ask. The delivery man showed up soon enough, and Sonny insisted that he pay, so you let him. You found some beers in your fridge, offering one to him, which he gratefully accepted. As you ate, you started talking more, just about where you were before transferring to Manhattan, why you decided to come here of all places. The tension in the air subsided, and slowly, Sonny started talking about himself; his family, his recent accomplishment at Fordham—you had started just after he had passed the bar exam, so you didn’t hear much about it—and how much he loved his job.

“So, now that you passed the bar, are you going to leave us for Barba?” you asked. Sonny cocked an eyebrow, a grin on his face. “Oh my god, that’s not what I meant, and you know it,” you giggled, your cheeks burning.

Sonny chuckled at the implication. “I—I don’t know yet. I really do love my job as a detective. But I always wanted to be a lawyer, ya know? And now I can be. But with Mike passing…it just doesn’t seem like the right time.” He took a sip of his beer. “Hey, maybe with you taking over, I’ll be able to. I’d feel less bad leaving the department behind; they won’t be as short-staffed.”

It hurt to think about Sonny leaving; you were just getting to know him. “I still got a long way to go, though. Liv wouldn’t even let me go with you to West Virginia alone. What was it she said? ‘I need someone experienced’ or some shit.” You rolled your eyes.

“Hey, I was in your shoes before, too. It’ll pass quicker than you can blink.” Sonny spun the bottle in his hands. “Besides, I almost wish it was just us, and that Rollins wasn’t…” he trailed off, his eyes staring at nothing.

You swallowed hard. “You like her, don’t you?”

“Hm? Nah…I mean, she’s my partner, yeah? I have her back, and I know she’s got mine…. We’re close and…yeah, I don’t know.” He looked everywhere but at you, a slight pink tint in his cheeks.

You nodded sympathetically. As much as you wanted him to like you, you just wanted him to be happy. And if she made him happy, then you’d have to live with that. “Being so close with someone for so long, it’s not shocking if feelings…developed. Have you talked to her about it at all?”

He shook his head. “Look, I appreciate you trying to help me with this, but can we stop talking about Rollins? Please?”

“Of course. Sorry…. I got ice cream, if you want some dessert?” you tried.

Sonny sat there for a moment, staring a hole into your floor. “You know what? I think I’m gonna get out of your hair.” He stood, stretching. “Thank you for letting me crash your night for a little bit.”

“You sure? You can stay as long as you need,” you replied, but he was already moving towards your front door, sliding his jacket on.

“Yeah, I’ve taken up enough of your time. See ya at work tomorrow.” And then he gave you that heart-melting smile before he was gone.

****************

Whether Fin or Liv could feel the tension in the precinct the next day, you weren’t sure. But Sonny had gone back to his nontalking self, sitting at his desk, working through Heather’s posts. At some point, Amanda invited him to lunch, but he declined. They had a few clipped, whispered words that you didn’t hear, but after she left, Sonny looked upset again.

Standing, you went to the coffee maker, making two cups—one for yourself and one for Sonny. You came back, placing it on his desk, within hands reach. He glanced up at you, and you gave him a soft smile before moving back to your desk, diving in on something to help Barba with his case against Heather.

After another half an hour, Sonny got up, coming over to your desk. “Wanna go grab lunch?”

You looked from him to the mountain of posts and pictures you still had to go through, then back at him. “Please,” you groaned, grabbing your jacket and following him out.

****************

For the next two weeks, you and Sonny would get lunch. Or, if it wasn’t possible to take lunch at the same time, you’d bring each other something, switching off each day. You both also seemed to know when the other ran out of coffee, placing a refill on one another’s desk just as you’d finish the last sip. Conversation started to flow easier between you two, and you found that you highly enjoyed just chatting with him. Every now and again, he’d come over to your place, and you’d just talk; mostly about work, sometimes about your families. You still had a crush on him, but you shoved it down, trying to not let it interfere with work, or with your new-found friendship. Though, you noticed with some glee that he no longer looked at Amanda with that sparkle in his eyes.

On Saturday night, Sonny showed up at your doorstep, a 12 pack in one hand, takeout in the other. “Are you not watching the hockey game tonight?” he asked, his Islanders sweater on proudly.

“I, uh, wasn’t planning on it?” you replied, confused. In all your talks, neither of you had mentioned sports, except that Sonny had played basketball as a kid.

“Pffttt. You are now,” he said, pushing into your place. You giggled, following him to your couch. Plopping down next to him, you grabbed a beer while he flipped through the stations until he found the game. He cheers’ed you, then you both took a sip, watching and yelling at the screen. It was hard not to get caught up in the excitement with him, even if you didn’t know all the rules, nor particularly cared about hockey. You just enjoyed spending time with him.

At some point during the first period, Sonny put his arm on the back of the couch, his legs spread. You never understood how someone so lanky could take up so much room, but it made you smile. He just looked so natural, so comfortable on your couch, and you loved it.

“Come on, Lehner! You gotta cover your 5-hole!” Sonny yelled at the screen, groaning as the Islanders let in a goal.

“Uh, explain that to me, please?” you asked, confused.

Sonny sat up, leaning his elbows on his knees, moving closer to you. “Okay, so, ya see how the goalie, Lehner, has his legs so spread? Well, when the Pens shoot, that’s where they aim, ‘cause it’s his weak-spot and they know it. He’s slow to get his glove there and it’s an easy goal.”

“So…the 5-hole is between the legs?” you guessed.

“Exactly; see? You’re a quick learner,” Sonny smiled at you as the game cut to commercial.

You grinned back. “Well, I have a good teacher.”

Sonny’s eyes lit up with an idea. He put his beer down, then turned to face you. “Here, stand.” You cocked an eyebrow at him but obeyed. “Put your arms out and spread your legs…not that far; be comfortable. Okay, so, right here,” –he put his hand to the left side of your face, above your arm— “is the 1-hole. The opposite side here, that’s the 2-hole. Then here,” –he went back to your left side, under your arm this time— “is the 3-hole, and—”

“The opposite is the 4, and between the legs is 5?” you finished.

That lopsided grin was back. “Exactly.” He looked at the screen as the commercials ended. “Ooh, game’s back, here.” Sonny’s hands went to your hips, sending electricity through you. He dragged you back onto the couch next to him, your leg touching his, and his arm around your shoulders. You couldn’t pay attention to the game as your whole body heated, a stupid grin on your face from the closeness. At some point, you relaxed against him, snuggling into his side. If it bothered him, he didn’t say anything. In fact, quite the opposite—when he wasn’t groaning or gesturing at the screen, he had his arm around you, holding you to him.

Once the game was over, Sonny helped you clean up. “Thanks for letting me crash your night again,” he said—the same thing he said every night when he showed up unannounced.

“Anytime,” you replied. “Are you sure you’re okay to drive?”

“Sober as a fox,” he smiled.

You raised an eyebrow at him. “Is that even a saying?”

“It is now,” he declared, a mischievous gleam in his eyes. “Really though; I’m fine. Thank you for worrying.”

You walked him to the door, holding it open for him. Sonny stopped just outside your place, turning back around to look at you. “Text me when you get home, so I know you’re safe,” you said softly.

“Okay, I will…. I, uh, wanted to thank you. Not just for tonight, but for every night…and lunches, and coffees, and just—letting me be me for a little.” He gave you the sweetest smile, and you thought your chest was going to burst.

“Yeah, anytime, Sonny. I want you to feel…safe with me,” you replied.

“I do…I really do.”

You were leaning against your doorframe, and he had one hand on the wall next to it, leaning against it. Slowly, he leaned forward, his face getting closer to yours. Swallowing, and praying you weren’t misinterpreting, you leaned in, too, until your lips met in a soft, chaste kiss. Sonny’s mouth was gentle against yours, his lips smooth, and you stood up on your tiptoes, pressing yourself harder against him, afraid that he’d realize what was happening and that he’d pull away, disgusted. And though he did pull away, his eyes were still closed in bliss, a small smile on his face, one that slowly grew the longer you looked, making your own smile appear.

“You sure you don’t want to stay the night?” you asked, your voice hopeful.

Sonny looked deeply into your eyes, then to your lips, then back to your eyes. “Well, if you insist, maybe I can be persuaded to crash your night a little longer.”

#sonny carisi x reader #law and order svu #law and order svu fanfic #fanfic #my writing #thank you Karen for letting me know PScan is an Islander fan #cause I made Sonny a Bruins fan first #I may have forgotten that the Devil Ray's existed #Anonymous

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study-coffee-chicago · 4 years ago

Text

Contract Killer (A Halstead brothers + Halstead! sister + Hailey Upton imagine)

Very, very loosely based off of season 2 ep 3 of PD titled "The Weigh Station".

What if Hailey's story meeting Jay is a little different? And it's all because of one big bad decision and seeing Y/N.

Hailey looked through her binoculars at the man who, if she could help it, would be dead within 48 hours. She could make it 24 if she really wanted to, but she needed to make sure she was alone and that she had time to get it to whoever needed to see him dead. Even though she was the one tasked with killing him, she had no idea who actually put the bounty out on his head. Someone she had put in prison (ironically, the reason they were in prison was for being a contract killer) when she worked in robbery-homicide had called her once they were out and told her about this opportunity. And, since Hailey had been fired from her job for a rumor that went around that she was sleeping with a superior officer and didn't actually pass the detective's exam (both were lies), she needed money, so she agreed to the hit.

A girl walked out of the house, surprising her. She looked too young to be one of Halstead's flings. She looked between 15 and 20 from where she was looking. Maybe she just had a babyface, though. Yeah, definitely just a babyface.

The girl walked outside and to her car with a backpack. She was starting her car when Jay Halstead ran out of the house and handed her what Hailey assumed was a textbook.

Shit, she thought, this girl's in high school or college, so it definitely wasn't a fling or a one night stand. If this was a younger sibling or relative that he was taking care of, then there was no way she was going through with this. When people were helping out their younger family members, well, that's where Hailey drew the line. She knew that Jay had an older brother, Will, but he was a doctor and could take care of himself. If Halstead had a younger sister that was still dependent on him financially or otherwise, well then there was no way she could do this.

Hailey pulled out her burner phone and called the burner number that was given to her in case she needed more information or she encountered any problems.

"JP," she started, "does Halstead have any siblings besides Will? There's a girl at his house and she looks too young to be sleeping with him."

She heard keys clacking on the other end. It took longer than she had expected. "Shit," JP said. "He's got a younger sister, Y/N Halstead. She's twenty and according to this, she lives with him since their parents are dead and she's in college. Need me to hand this off to someone else?"

"Yeah, you know I only did this for the money and my one drawback is people who are dependent on the people you want me to kill."

"What do you know about this guy?" JP asked. He assumed she didn't know much about him.

"They just told me that he was an ex-army ranger who killed innocent civilians in Afghanistan."

"God, they lied to you so hard, Upton," JP told her. "He's a detective with the Intelligence Unit of the CPD. And, he saved people overseas, he didn't kill them."

"Shit. I'm out. I'm definitely out."

Then, she hung up. But, she promised herself that he'd try her best to protect him. After all, she had taken this job, so maybe she could fix it by trying to protect him. She wasn't doing it for him, though. She was only doing it for his little sister. If it were just him, he'd be dead in less than two days.

***

You poured syrup on your waffles at the small diner you and your brothers had gone out to. It was a rare night where you didn't have any major studying to do, Will wasn't working or on call, and Jay wasn't working on a case or undercover, so you were all out for dinner together.

"How's school?" Will asked.

"You know, the usual. Homework, tests, papers," you answered.

"That's code for she constantly complains about how much homework she has, but does it anyway," Jay joked.

"At least I have less school than him," you said, pointing at Will. "And, I'll still get the doctor title."

You wanted to be a sports psychologist, which required a doctorate degree. So, instead of there just being one doctor in your family, there'd be two.

"And you're crazy to think that I'll address as Dr. Halstead."

"Hey, at least it's not a medical doctor," you pointed out, knowing Jay's hatred for needles and hospitals in general.

"But a shrink might be even worse, Jay. She'll be able to see through your shitty I'm fine excuses for how you're feeling mentally after you take yet another bullet."

"You've used up how many of your nine lives now? Four? Five?" you laughed.

"One day he'll realize he isn't invincible," Will said, agreeing with you.

Hailey was watching from afar when she saw a man in a black hoodie enter the diner. She didn't think anything of it, but in hindsight, she wishes she would have been able to look a little closer.

You heard a Pop! and then you were roughly pushed off your stool by Jay and onto the ground, all while hearing him yell.

"Get down! Get down!"

The shots continued and you screamed from underneath your brother.

"You're okay, you're covered," Jay told you.

And then, silence. The shots had stopped.

Slowly, Jay looked up, making sure the shooter was in fact gone.

"Are you okay?" he asked as he got up.

Before you could even answer him, Will was next to you, looking you over in a way that only a trained medical professional would.

"Did we- did we just get shot at?"

"We did," Jay answered. "But, we're gonna get out of here. I'm gonna call Voight and we're gonna figure this out. Did I hurt you at all when I pushed you off that stool?"

"No."

"Stay with Will."

And you did just that while Jay went off to call his unit.

Meanwhile, Hailey watched as squad cars pulled up a few minutes later. From the side of their cars, Hailey saw that Jay's unit was in the 21st district. Now whoever got hired to do the hit wasn't just going after Jay, he was going after his family. And, that's where Hailey drew the line. She knew where she'd be going tomorrow morning.

***

"Sergeant Platt," Hailey said as she walked into the 21st district of Chicago at promptly 8 o'clock the next morning.

"Goldilocks! What can I do for you?" Platt always had a soft spot for the young detective (hence the nickname) since she had responded to a call at her father's restaurant when Hailey was a kid and she was working the beat. And, they had kept in contact ever since. Platt may or may not have been the reason that Hailey got into the academy on her first try.

"I need to talk to you." Hailey looked around, and seeing a bunch of patrol officers, she decided this might not be the best place. "Alone. Somewhere preferably without cameras."

Platt gave Hailey a confused look but led her downstairs anyway. "What's going on?"

"So, I may or may not have taken a job to kill Jay Halstead, but--"

"Wait, wait, wait. I think my hearing is going. Did you just say you took a job to kill detective Halstead?"

"I said I may or may not have, but it's closer to may have."

"Jesus Christ, Hailey, I know you got fired, but why?" Platt asked, stunned.

"Before you tell anyone, once I learned he had a sister, I backed out. But, I needed money and I got terrible information because whoever wanted this hit said that he killed innocent civilians when he was overseas. So, excuse me for trying to rid the world of someone who I thought was the scum of the earth."

"So, you didn't even take one shot at him?" she asked, trying to figure out how she could keep Hailey out of trouble.

"Not even one."

"Please tell me you have useful information because I have to hand this over to Voight...and he will not hesitate to put you away if you have nothing useful."

"I have a name, but he won't get it unless my name isn't even mentioned with this case. And, I want to help. After all, it is kind of my fault this started in the first place."

"You are so lucky Voight owes me a favor, Goldilocks."

***

Hailey was currently sitting in Voight's office with Platt next to her. Platt had explained the whole thing to him, but Voight still wanted to talk to her. He had one more proposition.

"Since there's no evidence tying you to the shooting, I can't press charges anyway. Do you know who happened to have shot at Halstead and his family last night?" Voight asked, all of his anger was gone by now because he had used it up when Trudy Platt first came to him.

"I was there watching, just to make sure nothing happened. But, I didn't get a good look at his face. And, he reached into his pocket so fast and I was so far away that I didn't realize it was a gun. If I had known, I wouldn't have hesitated to try and stop him." Voight nodded. "All I saw was that the shooter was wearing a black hoodie. Sorry I don't have more."

"Okay, Upton, here's the deal," Voight started, "I need a name and I need someone to watch over Halstead and his sister during this, make sure his sister doesn't go out anywhere alone, and that Halstead doesn't do anything stupid. You can do those two things, and I'll leave your name out of this and you can work the case. You have my word."

"So, you want me to be their bodyguard?" Hailey asked, cocking one eyebrow.

"If you want to put it that way, yeah. Only certain times when we're short patrolman or it's nighttime because I know a lot of them sleep when they're supposed to be paying attention."

"Okay, I'm in. The name's JP."

"Any phone number? Other important personal information?" Voight asked.

"I called a burner last time I talked to him, but I doubt he's still using it. I can still give it to you if you want it though." Voight handed her a sticky note and a pen from his desk and Hailey quickly scribbled down the number and handed it back to him. "As for personal information, I know he has a son. I don't know his exact age, but I know he's at least 18."

"Good to know," Voight nodded. "Thanks, Trudy," she turned to leave, but Voight stopped her. "Can you send Halstead in? Need him to meet his new protection detail."

"Platt said you needed me, Sarge?" Jay asked as he entered Voight's office, closing the door behind him.

"Yes, Halstead, take a seat. Upton, you too," he added, seeing as Hailey was still standing.

Jay furrowed an eyebrow as he saw the new blond detective. She was short, had wavy blond hair, and was wearing jeans and a blue flannel, which she wore with the sleeves buttoned up to just below her elbows.

"Am I getting a new partner?" Jay asked.

"Something like that. Meet your new protection detail, Jay. This is detective Hailey Upton."

"Sarge, no offense, but I don't need protecting. If this is about the person who shot at me last night, I can handle it." He wouldn't admit it, but he didn't want a girl as his personal bodyguard. He'd dealt with partner problems in the past with Erin, and now that she was gone, he didn't want another workplace romance. And, he was more than capable of defending himself. Also, he wouldn't say this out loud, but if someone tried to come after him, he had doubts that she'd be able to protect them both, just because of her small stature.

"It's not you that I'm worried about. It's Y/N," Voight stated.

"Oh, yeah, of course." He wasn't going to lie, after last night he didn't want his sister going out alone either. Despite you being in college, he still worried about you.

"She'll only be there at night, just in case you get called on a case. That way, Y/N won't be alone."

"Is that really necessary? Every night until this gets figured out? Will can stay with her, he's got a permit to carry. So, the only time she really needs to be over there is when he's on a night shift at Med."

"Your- Will," Hailey quickly stopped herself, before she let Jay know that she knew that Will was his older brother, "Will's not a cop, is he?"

"No. My brother's a doctor. Why does that matter anyway?" Jay asked, annoyance in his voice.

"Because I'm pretty sure that I'm a better shot than he is."

"Another reason is that, if someone is really watching you, they won't think twice about Hailey being there," Voight said.

"What?"

"Think about it, Halstead. If a random guy is at your house all the time, whoever's watching will know someone's protecting you. But, if it's a girl, they won't think that."

Jay turned his head, digesting what his sergeant had just told him. "Wait, wait, wait, you want her to pretend to be my girlfriend? You want us off pretending to play house while my life, Will's life, and Y/N's life are in danger?" Jay was raising his voice at this point, and it kind of scared Hailey, but she remained calm on the outside.

At this, Voight slammed his hands on his desk. And, Jay didn't miss how Hailey jumped at the sudden action but quickly regained her composure. "Dammit, Halstead! She's staying with you and that's final! There will be a patrol car parked outside your and Will's houses at all times. But, I can't risk patrol falling asleep at your house at night, so Upton's staying with you. End of discussion." He looked at both detectives. "You're dismissed."

"I'm gonna go pack a bag," Hailey broke the uncomfortable silence between the two. "Be at your house tonight at 6?"

"Yeah. Here's my address." He wrote his address down and handed it to her. God, he had some explaining to do.

***

Hailey quickly scribbled a note to her boyfriend, thanking God that he wasn't home from work yet before she had to leave.

Going undercover. Don't try to call my phone. Don't want a repeat from last time. Idk how long this job will be.

~Hailey.

One time when she was undercover, she didn't have time to go home and grab her things; they just threw her right in with a robbery crew in hopes that they could bust them. They did, but not before her boyfriend, Zach, came looking for her and almost blew her cover. When they talked about it afterward, he said that he thought she was cheating on him, so he went to find her.

That should have been her first red flag.

Hailey shook her head at the memories and left their barely furnished apartment. After putting the address into her phone, she started the drive to the Halsteads.

***

When she got there, she knocked and was met with the one and only Y/N Halstead.

"Can I help you?" you asked, seeing a girl you didn't know with a duffle bag slung over her shoulder.

"I'm a friend of Jay's. Can I come in?"

"Uh, sure." You stepped out of the doorway to allow this mystery girl to come in. "Jay!" you yelled to your brother who was currently in the kitchen with Will. "Your friend's here!"

Jay walked into the living room, followed by Will, to see both you and Hailey. "I wouldn't necessarily call her a friend," Jay stated.

"Well, then your fuck buddy's here."

Will smacked you upside the head before Jay could even scold you for doing that. "Y/N, just go upstairs to your room for a bit to cool down," Will told you.

"I don't need to cool down," you argued.

"You sure as hell do," Jay told you. "Go upstairs. Now."

And that was the voice that scared you the most: Jay's stern, do what I say or else voice, which had you turning on your heels and almost jogging upstairs to your room.

Jay, Hailey, and Will made their way to the kitchen where Jay had been making pasta before Hailey arrived.

"Is she always like this?" Hailey asked, just now realizing what she had gotten herself into.

"Not typically," Will answered. "It's just that, after last night..." he trailed off, not wanting to say what actually happened in case Hailey didn't know or couldn't know.

"She knows," Jay said. "She's actually here to make sure Y/N's never alone through all of this so nothing like last night happens again."

"Oh, wow. Okay. Does she know that?"

"I was gonna tell her before she went off the rails like that," Jay answered his older brother. He turned back to Hailey. "I'm sorry about her, really. After last night, she's kinda pissed at me for putting her in danger like that."

Hailey furrowed her eyebrows, wondering if that was actually the truth. "You mind if I go talk to her?" She knew she might have been overstepping, after all, she had just met you, but she knew it was better than either one of your brothers talking to you.

"I guess it couldn't hurt," Jay agreed. "I'll show you your room too since it's right next to hers."

Hailey nodded and the three of them walked upstairs. They showed Hailey to the guest room, where she set her bag on the bed. It was a normal-sized bedroom, with a bed, a dresser, and a tv atop the dresser.

They walked next door to your room, and Hailey knocked on your door. "Hey, Y/N? It's Hailey. Can I come in please?"

"Are my brothers with you?" you asked as you slumped against your bed, tears of embarrassment rolling down your face.

Hailey tilted her head towards the stairs, silently telling the two boys to go back downstairs. To her surprise, they both actually listened.

"No, it's just me," Hailey confirmed.

"It's open." Hailey walked over to you, but not before you started apologizing. "I'm really sorry. It's just, a lot of things happened last night and I don't know how to feel and I just took all my emotions out on you. I'm really sorry," you told her, barely pausing for breath during your explanation.

"Hey, it's okay. Lots of emotions come out when you get shot at...especially when loved ones are in the picture," Hailey reassured you.

"How did you know about that?" It's not like you had seen her around here before, so she wasn't enough in the loop that Jay or Will would tell her. She wasn't in Intelligence. She wasn't one of the responding officers from the scene last night. And, she wasn't a customer at the diner at the time of the shooting.

"That's actually why I'm here. I'm essentially your bodyguard."

"Wow, didn't know I was special enough to have a bodyguard. Are you a cop?" Hailey nodded. "Can I see your badge?" That was one thing Jay had drilled into you: always ask a cop to see their badge.

Hailey handed you her badge and you quickly studied it, seeing it wasn't just a regular badge, but rather a detective's badge. "You're a detective?"

"Yeah, just like your brother," Hailey answered.

"So, do you know how long you're gonna be here for?" you asked, wondering how long another girl would be in the house. And, you didn't mind it, you liked her already, despite how rude you had been to her just fifteen minutes ago.

"As long as the case takes," she answered. "Now, are you good to go downstairs, or do you need some more time alone?"

"I'll be down there in a minute," you answered. "I just need to wash my face really quick."

A few minutes later, you walked downstairs to be met with Jay, Will, and Hailey all sitting at the table, plates full of pasta.

"Is that fettuccine alfredo?" you asked, looking at Jay. It had been your favorite dinner since the first time you went to Olive Garden when you were eight. And, after your mom died and your dad just kinda gave up as a parent, Jay took it upon himself to make sure that he made it for your birthday or any other special occasions you were involved in, such as your high school graduation.

"Figured you could use a pick me up after everything that happened last night," Jay answered.

"Thanks. And, I'm really sorry about earlier."

"I thought I raised you better than that," Will joked.

"You raised her?" Jay asked rhetorically. "I'm sorry, who is she living with right now? Who stepped up when someone was off partying in New York and feeling up girls?"

You almost choked on your pasta at Jay's description of plastic surgery. "First of all, they're called breast implants," Will pointed out. "Second of all, I cleaned up my act...eventually."

"Okay, let me answer this," you butted in. "Mom and Dad basically raised me, but you both helped me out when I was still a minor. There, problem solved."

"Fair enough, " Jay conceded. "But one last question: who taught you how to drive?"

"You."

"Which explains why she went into a ditch the first time she drove by herself in the snow and why she's always adding at least five miles to the speed limit," Will argued.

"Oh, shut up, Will. You drive like an old grandpa. I'm surprised you make it to work on time."

"Enough about us," Will started, turning to Hailey. "Tell us about yourself."

"Not much to tell. Born and raised in Chicago, used to be a detective for robbery-homicide until something, uh, popped off. And, now here I am," Hailey answered, easily avoiding saying that she was fired.

"Did you always wanna be a cop?" you asked.

"I guess I did. Someone broke into my dad's restaurant when I was a kid and I met the most badass female cop and from then on, I wanted to be like her. My dad wanted me to be a lawyer, but I thought that was boring, so here I am."

You nodded, thinking that it wouldn't be as fun to be a lawyer.

"Oh, before I forget," Jay began, "Y/N, as of tomorrow, all of your classes are switched to online."

"Okay."

"You're not mad about that?" Will asked.

"Oh hell no. Half the time I don't even get anything out of my lectures anyway. It just feels like time that could be spent doing homework for that class."

The four of you went back to your food, eating in comfortable silence. But, after a few minutes, you realized that you still had one more question.

"So, where am I going tomorrow? Am I staying here with Hailey or...?" you trailed off, secretly hoping you'd get to spend your days with the new detective. It was just nice to have someone with estrogen around the house instead of the amount of testosterone that was your brothers.

"Since Hailey's helping us work the case, you'll come to the district with me so that Hailey has time to sleep." That wasn't the real reason. There was a patrol car most of the time, but if they were short patrolman, Jay wanted to make sure that you'd be safe. And, the best way to do that would be for you to be in a building full of cops.

"Why can't I go to Med with Will?" you whined. Jay gave you a look that read you know why. "What? All I'm saying is the hospital has better vending machines than the district. But, I mean the district has better wifi, so there's that plus I guess."

"And you don't have to see Will's ugly mug all day," Jay joked.

"Hey! I'll have you know some women think I'm handsome."

"What women? Blind ones?"

And that's how the rest of the evening went, you all getting to know Hailey better and Hailey getting to know you all better.

***

You laid awake in bed, replaying the events of the day. You could see from the crack at the bottom of the door that there was a dim light coming from the hallway, so you assumed Hailey was still awake. Since Jay typically woke up at 5 due to his training in the military, they had agreed that Hailey would go to sleep at the time that he woke up and then would meet them at the district to work the case early in the afternoon. That way, she could still get some sleep and you'd still be safe during the hours that most criminal activity occurs. Despite this, you still couldn't sleep. It wasn't that you were scared, it was just that you felt terrible and knew that Jay deserved a better explanation as to why you lashed out earlier.

You got out of bed and quietly walked across the hallway, trying to be as quiet as possible so Hailey didn't run out of her room, gun drawn, thinking that you were an intruder. You opened Jay's bedroom door just a crack when you heard the tv playing in the background. Seeing that he was still awake, you walked in.

"Hey."

"Hey, what's up?" Jay asked, reaching for the remote and pausing the movie that was currently playing.

"I'm sorry about earlier, with the fuck buddy comment."

"You already apologized. Is there something you're not telling me?"

You moved to sit on the edge of his bed so that you were facing him. "It's just, yesterday when we were shot at, it made me realize how you could be gone so fast. I guess the reason I lashed out is that I was sad and scared."

Even in the dim light from the tv, you could see how much your words had affected Jay. "It's okay to be scared, Y/N. But just know that I have the best unit in the whole city that's got my back okay?"

"But they didn't yesterday and that's the scary part." You felt tears prick your eyes and knew that there was no point in holding them back, so you just let them roll down your cheeks. "If someone you put away gets out of prison and then wants revenge, they can come up to you and get you anytime, Jay. I- Me and Will thought we lost you when you got shot the last time. We can't go through that again. Because next time, you might- you might not make it. And, I need my big brother."

Jay sighed, trying to convince himself not to cry. You had never really talked about the night that he got shot trying to help Angela, and he'd be lying if it didn't worry both him and Will about how much you were bottling up those feelings. He thought you had gotten over it, hell he thought he had gotten over it, but last night had brought up those old fears for you.

Gently, Jay placed a comforting hand on your shoulder. "Hey, I need my little sister, too. I don't think Will can be as intimidating as me when it comes to boys either, so you need me." Despite your tears, your lips turned up into a slight smile at Jay trying to make light of the situation at hand. "And, I will always try my best to come home to you and Will. Always. And, you don't need to worry about me, because you'll be stuck with me at the district until we figure this out."

"Voight put you on desk duty?"

"I'm not thrilled, but he made the right call."

"Yeah, he did. And, you should talk to Hailey. She seems like your type."

***

When Hailey woke up the next day, she was surprised to look in the fridge to find a Tupperware container and a mug, stuck to both was a sticky note with her name on it.

Hailey, made extra for breakfast. There's eggs and bacon in here.

~Jay

And on the mug, he wrote:

Didn't know how you like your coffee, and I had some leftover in the pot this morning before I washed it, so it's yours. There's milk and creamer in the fridge and sugar in the cabinet to the left of the stove.

~Also Jay

Hailey smiled at his little notes and then put the food in the microwave. "Not bad," she said to herself after she took the first few bites. Then, she heated up the coffee and drank it as is...she liked black coffee, so she didn't bother with creamer or milk.

She started to get ready and then pulled out her phone. Y/N was probably bored at the district, so she figured she could grab her some good coffee on her way in. If the coffee at Intelligence was the same as the kind at robbery-homicide, she was sure that a twenty-year-old wouldn't like it.

You were sitting at the table in the breakroom when your phone buzzed, alerting you that you had a text message. Hailey had said it was her and asked what coffee you liked and mentioned Starbucks. So, you told her a vanilla sweet cream cold brew would be great and thanked her and also offered to give her five bucks when she got to the district. But, she told you she'd get it.

You went to rummage around in your backpack for a different notebook when Jay walked in. "How's it goin'?" he asked as he walked over to the coffee pot and poured himself more coffee.

"I don't know how you drink that stuff. The kind here is gross."

Jay shrugged, "Eh, you get used to it after a while."

"I guess," you agreed, grabbing your notebook but not zipping up your backpack.

"What are you working on now?"

"I have to watch some boring ass sociology lectures," you answered, opening your laptop.

"Ew," he took a seat next to you and started drinking his coffee, but not without knocking over your backpack. "No way," he said as he repositioned your bag and reached into it.

"What?" When you saw his hand in your backpack, you tried to grab it back, but he already had his hand wrapped around the object that you wanted to stay hidden. "Give her back!" you shouted as Jay ran out of the room with your stuffed cat in his hand.

You had brought your stuffed animal with you in case you had gotten stuck at the district overnight. Who knows, Hailey and Jay could be out working a case and you wouldn't have been able to go home. So, as a way of making yourself feel secure, you had put your stuffed animal, whom you affectionately named Kitty as you were three years old when it was gifted to you, in the bottom of your backpack. That way, if you had to sleep on the couch in the breakroom, you could tuck it away between the back of the couch and you, so that no one could see that you still slept with a stuffed animal.

"Jay!" you yelled, chasing after him, "Give it back!"

"Never!" he yelled back, running into an interrogation room. You followed him, hoping that he forgot to lock the door.

But, you were both lucky and unlucky as Jay was currently standing with his back to the door, keeping it closed despite how hard you pushed. You heard footsteps walking up the stairs into the bullpen, and he still wasn't budging. "Jay, someone's coming! Please!" you begged, not wanting the entire unit to know that you still slept with a stuffed animal.

You heard laughing from him on the other side of the door. "Give it back!" you tried again, fists pounding on the door.

"Give what back?"

"You know what!"

"No, I don't. What do I have that you want, Y/N?"

"Kitty. Now C'mon Jay!" You heard footsteps coming down the hall where the interrogation rooms were. God, you hoped it wasn't Ruzek; he'd never let you live this one down.

"You'll have to be more specific than that." Even though you could only hear him, you knew he was smirking on the other side of that door.

"Give me Kitty, my stuffed animal, Jay!"

"There it is." He opened the door just as you saw Hailey approaching the both of you. He quickly handed you back your stuffed animal and you hid it behind your back.

"Was that a toy?" Hailey asked, holding your coffee.

"Y/N sleeps with a--" you elbowed your brother in the stomach, and he groaned, which shut him up.

Then, you heard more voices. This wasn't good. You didn't have a jacket on, so had no way of hiding it on your way back to the breakroom. "Jay, I think they need you," Hailey said.

"And you got coffee for who?" he asked her.

"Y/N. Now go. They have to get you up to speed."

"They'll have to get you up to speed, too," he argued. "You just got here."

"Just tell them I'll be there in a minute."

Jay walked away, a smirk still plastered on his face because of how embarrassed he made you. When he was for sure out of earshot, Hailey held out her hand. "Give it to me."

"I don't know what you're talking about," you denied.

"The stuffed animal, Y/N. I'll hide it in my jacket on our way back to the breakroom and then you can hide it from there. I grew up with three older brothers, so I know how it is."

You handed it over to her and she placed it in her jacket, then you walked to the breakroom, but not without glaring at your brother on your way there. Once it was securely stashed in your backpack and you tried to give Hailey money for the coffee, but she refused as she had told you she'd do, only then did Hailey leave you alone in the breakroom to be with the rest of the unit.

"That was mean," Hailey whispered to Jay when she was in the bullpen.

"Something wrong?" Voight asked, looking at the two detectives.

"No, what do we got so far?" Jay asked, turning his attention to Voight.

Voight stuck a picture on the board, causing Hailey to swallow. It was JP.

"This scumbag is JP." Hailey wanted to say he wasn't as much of a scumbag as they probably thought, but since he associated with her boyfriend, Zach, and knew what happened in that apartment and didn't say anything, he was still sort of a scumbag. But, then again, Hailey hadn't talked about what happened in that apartment either, so maybe she was a scumbag for keeping Zach safe. But, he swore he had cut ties with Zach, so who knows what he'd do to keep himself out of jail. "CI said that he might know some information about who wanted the hit. Swears it wasn't JP, that he was just the person hiring."

Great, so she was a CI now, Hailey thought to herself.

"So we just get him to give up the guy who wants the hit done?" Ruzek suggested. "Simple enough."

"Not when he's not talking," Voight said. "He hasn't given us a single thing. But, we can hold him for 48 hours on conspiracy, so hopefully, he'll give something up or whoever wanted the hit will get sloppy within that time."

Hailey knew that JP wouldn't crack, so her only hope was that whoever wanted the hit would get sloppy.

***

"We have five more hours or this son of a bitch gets cut loose. So, do whatever you gotta do," Voight told his unit almost two days later. It had been 43 hours since they had arrested JP and so far all they had learned was that his real name was Joe Price. He wasn't talking and they were running out of time. "Upton, a quick word?"

Hailey followed Voight to his office and she closed the door behind them. "You mentioned JP's got a son who's at least 18. Anything you think we could use as leverage? Because at the moment, he ain't talkin'."

Hailey thought for a moment. "He mentioned once that his son was going to apply for the TSA, but couldn't get in because of a misdemeanor I think."

Voight nodded, thinking. "Maybe he'll flip if I get the charges sealed." Then, they left his office and he made his way to the interrogation room.

"We know about your son, JP," Voight said as he entered the room where Jay and Kevin were currently trying to get him to spill information, even though trying was useless at this point.

At this, JP lifted his eyes to meet the sergeant's. "What's there to know?" he asked bitterly.

"We know that he applied for TSA but can't get in."

"Yeah, because of this pissant obstruction charge from when he was eighteen. But, you don't really care about that unless there's something in it for you, do you?"

"You could say that," Voight started, walking around the table."Tell us who's behind this and I can get those charges sealed. It'd take time, but I can get it done."

JP pondered this for a moment. "You're not just blowing smoke up my ass?"

"You have my word," Voight answered.

JP nodded. "Patrick Shostack. New breed of contract killer. He'll kill the kids if he can't get to the parents. Take out an entire city block just for one target. What I did before I went in, there was honor in it. I've got the stomach for a lot of things, but not for this. This new breed, I ain't got the stomach for that."

"Can we get in contact with this Shostack guy?" Jay asked.

"He's got a messaging service. Whether he calls back, I don't know."

Voight slid a phone over to him and JP dialed the number. "Tell him you have Halstead," Voight told him. "You wanna make a deal. We'll take a photo of him dead. We'll rig it."

"And if he doesn't go for it?"

"Improvise."

JP left a message and then the three left the room.

"Think this will work?" Hailey asked Jay since she had been watching the interview from the next room.

"We'll see."

It had been ten minutes and Voight and Halstead were sitting in the interview room with JP, waiting for the phone to ring. Ruzek had rigged up a line so that they could all hear what Shostack was saying.

The phone rang, and Hailey held her breath.

"Hello?"

"JP." Shostack said on the other end. "Didn't expect a call from you."

"Well, I have something you may want, Shostack."

"And that is? I'm a man who desires many things."

"Halstead," JP answered.

"Thought you backed out."

Please God, do not say my name, Hailey thought to herself.

"I did. But then, I heard they were paying you more and I want in."

"What do you want?"

"Half," JP answered. "And you better make a decision quick because the drugs I pumped into him are gonna wear off soon."

"One third and we have a deal," Shostack told him.

"Deal. I'll take care of it and bring you a photo for proof."

"No, no, no. Just because I trust you, doesn't mean I don't want to see him alive. Well, I couldn't care either way to be frank with you. But, there's someone else who needs to see him alive."

Before he could even think about how what he was going to do could affect other people, Jay pointed to the phone and gave a thumbs up. "Deal," JP told Shostack.

They decided on a meeting place and then walked out. Hailey quickly grabbed Jay's arm and dragged him into the other interrogation room.

"What the hell was that?" she shouted. "Y/N was so worried about you when you guys were shot at the other day and now you're putting yourself in danger not even three days later!"

"Last I checked, your title was detective and not sergeant Upton. I can make my own choices!" Jay argued.

"Did you even think? Your choices affect other people besides you, Halstead!"

"I can handle myself out there! Have a little faith would you?"

"Someone wants your head on a silver platter and all you can think about is making this case! Do you even have regard for your own safety?"

Jay pointed an accusing finger at Hailey, inches away from her face. "You are just here to babysit Y/N. So get back to her and do the job you're here to do and I'll do mine...without you fucking interfering with it."

Hailey scoffed and left the room, leaving him alone. And, Jay went downstairs to get ready for the meet.

***

"Is he always a dick?" Hailey asked, walking into the breakroom after taking some time to cool off.

"Who? Ruzek? He never means for his jokes to go that far. If you tell him they're upsetting you, then he'll stop," you answered.

"No, not Ruzek. Your brother."

You turned to face Hailey dead on. "You questioned his abilities to do his job, didn't you?"

"Now that you put it that way, I guess I did," Hailey answered, trying to figure out why that would make Jay so mad.

Luckily, she didn't have to ask as you decided to explain. "That's one of the only times he gets really mad--unless I do something stupid like that comment the other day. Our dad was always telling him to go into the workforce instead of the military and then becoming a cop. He didn't have respect for what Jay did. He didn't have respect for what Will did either, which is why he had to put himself through undergrad and med school."

Hailey nodded. Stuff from your past coming into the present and making emotions run high was something that she was all too familiar with.

"Wanna watch a movie?" Hailey suggested, hoping that would keep you occupied until Jay and the rest of the team got back.

You opened Netflix and then started the movie, thinking nothing of it. Hailey on the other hand, was silently worried about Jay, even if he had just yelled at her. She was only worrying about what would happen to you though if something happened to him...at least, that's what she told herself anyway.

***

You and Hailey looked up from the movie when you heard movement in the bullpen. Seeing that everyone was back, you both left to see what was up.

The first thing you noticed was how red Jay's wrists were. "Jay, what happened?" you asked, walking closer to him.

"I learned that I could choke out a suspect when my hands are zip-tied in front of me." You put your hands on your hips, not appreciating his sass. "I'm fine, Y/N, really. Now, let the big kids do their jobs and go back and do whatever you were doing. I gotta go do an interrogation."

"Can I watch?" you asked.

"I'm sorry," Ruzek stepped in. "Did you just ask if you could watch Halstead do an interrogation?"

"Adam," you whined, "I'm bored."

"Then go for a walk or get food or something," he suggested.

"Dude!" Jay yelled. "She can't be alone right now!"

"Oh yeah, right. Go get something from the vending machines or something."

"Halstead, Atwater," Voight said, breaking up the little quarrel, "Go interrogate Shostack."

"Voight, can I talk to you for a second?" Hailey asked as you walked back into the breakroom.

You were scrolling through social media, trying to find something interesting that kept your attention, when you started to hear Voight and Hailey's conversation. His office was right next to the breakroom, and it's not like the walls were soundproof. You put in your headphones so that if anyone peeked in, it wouldn't look like you were eavesdropping.

"Just let me interview Shostack," you heard Hailey say.

"Hailey, I know you feel bad about starting this mess, but I can't let you in there. If word gets out that you were a snitch, then that would spell bad news."

What did Voight mean by that? you thought to yourself. How was Hailey in on the hit on Jay's life?

"Could be an asset. I might be able to say I know JP and then he'll tell me more."

"I gave you an out so that you could work this case and not get taken down for stalking Halstead and wanting to kill him. You go in there now, and the deal's off the table. I will bury you." Voight paused and you held your breath. "You said you took the murder for hire because you needed money. Why?"

"It's my boyfriend." Hailey was so quiet when she said that, that you had to strain your ears to even hear it.

"Is he hurting you?" Silence. "I can help you, Hailey. Just tell me what's going on."

"I'm gonna go. I promise you I won't interview him." Then, Hailey left Voight's office.

But, you knew one thing: there was no way you'd be staying at your house tonight with Hailey.

***

Hailey said that she had to take a shower, and Jay was still at the district doing paperwork, so you figured now was as good a time as any.

You knew there was a party going on a few blocks from here, so you decided you'd go. You grabbed your wallet and phone and slowly slipped down the stairs and out the back door. Now you just had to make sure that Jay didn't find out. You couldn't give a damn if Hailey lost her mind over your disappearance. She deserved it after all.

Jay was sitting at his desk, trying not to fall asleep when his phone rang. "Hailey? What's going--"

"I need you to ping Y/N's phone now! I got out of the shower and she was gone and I don't know where she is and she didn't leave a note or anything!"

"Slow down," he told her, even though he wanted to freak out as much as she was. "How long were you in the shower?"

"Fifteen minutes."

Jay cradled the phone with his shoulder as he typed away at his computer. "Is her car there?"

There was a pause as Hailey looked out the window. "Yeah, it's here."

"Okay, she couldn't have gone far." He moved his mouse to zoom in. "I got a location."

When you got close to the party, you decided you didn't really want to go there. If by some miracle Jay's unit found you, you didn't want to wreck their fun. So, you kept walking. That was until you heard your name being called from behind you.

"Shit," you muttered, breaking into a run.

"Y/N, stop!"

Dammit, that one was definitely worse. You looked ahead and then turned around. There was nowhere to go; you were cornered between two detectives.

You tried to dodge Jay, but he was too fast and quickly grabbed onto you and held you tight against him until you calmed down. "Stop fighting! Stop fighting, Y/N! We're going home! What the hell were you thinking?"

You calmed down enough to stop squirming, but you were still furious. "What was I thinking?" you yelled. "I was thinking that she--" You pointed an accusing finger at Hailey. "wanted to kill you. She got hired to do that hit, Jay! She was going to fucking kill you and you want me to be alone with her?"

"What are you talking about?"

"I heard her! I heard her talking to Voight earlier about interviewing that one guy and he said she couldn't because no one could know that she was hired to kill you! I don't give a flying fuck if you need the money, Hailey! Yow wanted my big brother dead!"

Still holding onto you, Jay looked directly at Hailey. "Please tell me it's not true. That she tripped and hit her head or something."

Hailey looked at the ground. "It's true but--"

"Unbelievable!"

"Just let me explain, okay?" Hailey argued.

"What's there to explain?"

"Just listen to the reason I needed the money!"

"So you needing money takes priority over my life!" Jay spat.

"God, I got bad information! They said you killed innocent people overseas and I didn't know you had a little sister, so I stopped when I saw that--"

"So you were stalking me?"

"Dammit, Jay! I needed the money to get away from my boyfriend! But like you fucking care! I was just starting to care about your life and now it's just become a big inconvenience!"

"Go home, Hailey! I never wanna see you again." He looked down at you. "We never wanna see you again!"

"Fine! Get a new protection detail because the person who wants you dead is still out there until Shostack gives Intelligence something!"

Then, Hailey got in her car and drove away and Jay finally let go of you. "Get in the car," he told you sternly.

"Jay, I'm sorry--"

"Just get in the damn car, Y/N!"

You walked over to the car and pulled on the handle. "Jay."

"What?" It took all his strength not to blow up on you when you were both still outside.

"It's locked."

He unlocked the car and got into the driver's seat, you in the passenger seat. "I'm sorry," was all you said as Jay started driving.

"You could've gotten yourself killed! Whoever this new breed of contract killer is, apparently they won't stop until they get me and they'll do it by whatever means necessary! So, excuse me for being worried!"

"It's not like I could stay home with Hailey when I knew she wanted to kill you!"

"But you could've told someone! You could've told me!" The next part, he said quieter, which almost made it worse than if he would've yelled it. "How fucking stupid can you get?"

It's not like he had never called you stupid, he had, but it was always jokingly and when you were kids. But, this time, it felt different, like he meant every single word he said. You put your hand over your mouth, to try and stop yourself from sobbing, but one came out anyway.

Jay didn't even seem to notice, just kept his eyes focused on the road and his jaw clenched.

When you got home, you jumped out of the car, not even waiting for Jay to completely put it in park. Then, you ran into the house, only to crash into Will.

"Whoa! Slow down!" he said, grabbing ahold of you to stop you from falling.

You yanked your arm out of his hand. "Let go of me!" you yelled and then ran straight to your room and slammed the door shut for good measure.

"What happened?" Will asked as Jay walked inside.

At this, Jay finally grasped the gravity of the moment and what he had done. "I fucked up, Will. I fucked up so bad."

"So, you let Y/N sneak out. That's happened to everyone. If I remember correctly, me and you did it all the time," Will said, trying to lighten the mood.

"This isn't like that and you know it." Jay paused and took a deep breath. "God, I should've never left her alone with Hailey."

"Why? What's wrong with Hailey?" Will asked. And so, Jay told him. And Will was as shocked as Jay was.

"What did you say to Y/N?"

Jay sat on the couch and put his head in his hands. He hated what he had done only because their dad had said the same thing to Jay when he was younger and you were in the room and defended your big brother, telling your dad that Jay wasn't in fact stupid, but smart. "I called her fucking stupid, Will." He rubbed his hands on his face, pissed at himself. "God, I did what Dad did that one day and she stood up for me. I'm a terrible brother."

Will sat down next to his younger brother and put a comforting arm around him. "Jay, look at me." Jay lifted his head. "You are not a terrible brother, you are far from that. She'll come around and realize that. Now, do you know why Hailey needed the money?"

"Said she needed it to get away from her boyfriend or something like that," Jay shrugged.

"Do you know where she is right now?"

"No, and I really couldn't care less."

"Jay, listen to me. She said she needed it to get away from her boyfriend."

At this, Jay's head snapped up. "Oh, God. Oh, God. I gotta find her. Stay with Y/N!"

***

"How was the undercover assignment?" Zach asked Hailey as she let himself into their little apartment.

"Was good. You know I can't talk about an open investigation, Zach."

"Hmmm, so you weren't working with other cops?"

Hailey looked at him like he was crazy. How did he know that she was working with Halstead? "No, it was just me."

Then, he pulled a gun from his waistband. Hailey put her hands above her head in surrender. "Zach, let's just take a moment to think this through. How about you tell me what you think happened undercover?"

"And you'll answer my questions honestly?" he asked, but with a gun now pointed at her, it was more like a command.

"Why didn't you kill him?"

"Kill who?" she yelled.

"Jay Halstead! Why didn't you kill him?"

I don't know what you're talking about!" She lied, but then instantly regretted it as Zach took the gun and hit her in the stomach. She reached for her gun in her holster, but then Zach took his arm that wasn't holding the gun and twisted it behind her back. Hailey screamed out in pain and she screamed loud.

***

"Shostack," Voight began as he was pacing back in front of Patrick Shostack who was handcuffed in the cage, "you tell me everything you know about who wanted Halstead murdered and how and why a Chicago PD detective got brought in to kill him. Only then, when you tell me everything, will I even consider making a deal."

Shostack was already beginning to bruise from where Voight had hit him, so he decided it was in his best interest if he talked. He had heard rumors about this dirty cop and he knew that Voight wouldn't think twice about killing him to get answers. "The person who wants Halstead dead is Zach Grey."

Voight pulled out his phone and texted the name to Ruzek, telling him that they now had a suspect and to start going through everything about this guy. "What can you tell me about this Grey? How'd he know Halstead?"

"They were in the army together. Apparently, Grey wasn't good at following orders and made really stupid decisions out in the field. So, Halstead told their supervisor about it, and after a few more mess-ups that almost cost the unit their lives, Grey was dishonorably discharged."

"Why wait this long?" Voight asked.

"Dunno. I know Grey just moved to Chicago two years ago from California. He got a girlfriend and then he hatched this elaborate plan to get her to kill him."

"What's the girlfriend's name?"

"I don't know her name, man. I just know she was short and she was blond. Pretty little thing. Apparently, she was a cop, too. He figured that if anyone could get away with killing Halstead, she could."

"Did she know Grey was behind it?" Voight asked, thanking God that Hailey was with Jay because that description Shostack just gave him sounded a hell of a lot like Detective Hailey Upton.

"Not a chance. He called me and I got her to agree to the hit."

"I thought JP got her to agree to the hit?"

"That's where things get tricky. I used a voice modulator to disguise my voice. I told her, that if she needed money, she could kill this guy. I told her that Halstead killed innocents overseas and that he had no family other than his older brother, Will. Once she agreed to it, I gave her a number to call."

"And that number was JP?"

"Yeah. I think he knows Grey but doesn't know that he's the one behind all this. Told Upton that JP'd know what to do since he'd done it before. And, then it was all up to them after that. Didn't know she'd flip and try to help you, though. Now that was a shock."

"Did you know that Halstead has a little sister and that he's also a cop?"

"Yeah, but Grey told me what to say and promised me some of the money if the hit went through."

"Boss!" Adam yelled as he ran downstairs. "You gotta come see this!"

"We're done here," Voight said, turning back to Shostack and then going back upstairs into the bullpen.

Kevin turned the screen of his computer towards Voight. "If we got the right Zach Grey, then Hailey's got some explaining to do." In front of him was a picture from Instagram of Hailey and Zach, Zach kissing her on the cheek and it was posted only a few weeks ago.

"Please tell me you got an address for this prick."

Ruzek flipped through some papers and pulled one out. "Here's his LKA."

Voight nodded. "Let's roll out. I'll loop in Halstead."

Before Voight could even get a word in edgewise to the young detective on the other end of the phone, Jay butted in. "Did you know that Hailey was gonna kill me?"

"I know, but she backed out because she had gotten bad information--"

"You sound just like her! Why are you defending her?"

"She was trying to get out of a bad situation! Shostack told us everything, just trust me on this one. Please tell me that she's with you."

"She's not. I'm driving around looking for her right now. She said she needed to get away from her boyfriend before she left."

"Shit. Try this address."

Voight gave him the address, but Jay was wondering how they had gotten it. "How do you know where she is?"

"Does the name Zach Grey ring a bell?"

"We served together. I got him dishonorably discharged because he was being reckless and me and other guys almost died because of him. But, why is this important?"

"He's the one who wants you dead, Jay. He found out you were in Chicago and since he's Hailey's boyfriend, he figured she'd be able to get away with killing you."

"But he told her that I was the scum of the earth and didn't know I was a cop or had a little sister, so then she backed out," Jay said, piecing it together.

"Exactly."

"I'm on my way to Grey's place. Hopefully, he has no idea Hailey's been with me because Grey's got a temper."

Jay turned on his lights and sirens and sped through Chicago and into a more rundown place on the southside. He knew that Grey wasn't the best with money just based on how much he gambled overseas, so it made sense to him why he was living in this dump of an apartment complex.

Jay flashed his badge at the person who worked "security" and then made his way to the third floor, gun already drawn. He redialed Voight's number and held the phone between his shoulder and his ear. "What's your ETA?" he asked, creeping closer and closer to the apartment.

"Two minutes out."

Then, Jay heard an ear-piercing scream coming from the apartment where Grey was supposed to be. It sounded like a woman. It sounded like Hailey. "Sarge, I'm going in."

"Halstead, do you have protective gear?"

"Yeah, I grabbed it when I went looking for Y/N. Don't worry, it's on." Then, he ended the call.

"Chicago PD!" Jay yelled and then kicked in the door.

"Jay! Get out of here! He's gonna--"

"Shut it, bitch!" Zach twisted Hailey's arm even more, causing her to scream out in pain.

"Listen, Grey, I know you're pissed at me for what I did all those years ago, but Hailey didn't do any of that. You gotta let her go, man," Jay pleaded, gun trained on Zach.

"She was supposed to kill you!" He moved the gun so that it was now against Hailey's temple.

She whimpered, terrified. He had thrown her gun across the room, so she had no way of defending herself, not that she'd try with a gun against her head. She knew what to do in these situations, which was, wait until a moment of weakness and then get him. Or, wait for backup.

"You want me, right?" Jay asked, putting his hands above his head, gun still in hand. "Take the gun off her and point it at me."

"No!" But all Hailey got in response was Grey digging the gun further into her temple.

"Drop your gun," Grey ordered.

"Okay." Jay dropped the magazine out of his gun and then set it down on the floor.

"Now kick it away."

"Kicking it away," Jay narrated as he kicked his gun across the room.

Only then did Grey take the gun away from Hailey and point it at Jay. "Any last words Halstead?"

Now was Hailey's chance. He was distracted so Hailey swung around and knocked the gun from his hand. The minute the gun was on the ground, Jay jumped into action, tackling Grey as Hailey run at the guns, making sure that Grey couldn't get them. Jay flipped Grey around and pulled out his cuffs. "Get up," he told him after he was finished handcuffing him.

"Chicago-- Oh," Ruzek said as he and Voight entered the apartment to see Grey already handcuffed.

"Let's go get him booked," Voight said. Then, he looked at Hailey. "You should probably get to the hospital just to get checked out."

"I'm fine, really," she protested. "And I don't really want to spend the night in the hospital. It's the least I can do to help Jay with paperwork anyway."

"I'll call Will," Jay said as he handed Zach Grey off to Voight.

***

"Where's Jay?" you asked Will as you walked into the kitchen. You had cried enough and now needed to rehydrate.

"He went to go find Hailey."

That's when it hit you. I needed the money to get away from my boyfriend. Shit, he was hurting her.

"It's all my fault! If he hurts her, it's all my fault, Will!" you yelled.

"Hey, hey, no it's not," he said, taking the water glass from your hand. "We don't even know if he's physically abusing her. It could be emotional abuse. We could be wrong altogether. Don't worry about it."

You sighed and took the glass back to get some water. "Thaks, but that doesn't make me feel any better."

"I think there's hockey on," Will said, changing the subject. "Let's go watch that."

"Yeah, I guess. I'll be right back." You finished your water and put the glass in the dishwasher. Then, you went to your room to grab a blanket.

When you looked on your bed, you saw it was missing something. Kitty. Quickly, you grabbed your backpack and dumped out its contents. "Shit," you muttered as you realized you had left it on the couch of the breakroom at the district.

You ran downstairs, blanket forgotten. "Will! We gotta go to the--" He held up a hand, effectively silencing you. It was only then you saw that he was on the phone.

"Yeah, it's in my car. Yeah, I'll bring Y/N. We're on our way," Will said to whoever was on the other end and then hung up.

"What was that about?" you asked. You had a right to know because, from what you had heard, you had to go somewhere with Will.

"We gotta go to the district. Jay wants me to have a look at Hailey's shoulder, says she doesn't want to go to the hospital this late at night."

"Oh, okay. Can't be that bad because if it was broken or something Voight would make her go to the ED right?" you asked, partially blaming yourself.

"I'd hope so. Let's go."

You were walking up the stairs into the bullpen fifteen minutes later when one of your worst nightmares came true.

"Hey, did some kid leave their stuffed animal here?" Ruzek asked, holding up Kitty as he exited the breakroom.

You and Will shared a look that you hoped nobody else saw as you made your way over to Jay and Hailey. You were about to open your mouth and admit it was yours because you figured, if you didn't do it in the next few seconds, Jay would do it for you. But were surprisingly saved by Hailey.

"It's mine," Hailey lied. "My mom gave it to me and I wanted to get it out of the apartment before it became a crime scene."

"Oh," Ruzek said, furrowing his eyebrows and handing it to her. "Here you go I guess."

"Thanks."

When he turned around, Hailey handed it to you and you quickly shoved Kitty into one of Jay's desk drawers.

"Y/N, I just wanna apologize--"

"No, you were in trouble and trying your best to get out of it." Then, you stooped down and whispered in her ear, since she was sitting down, waiting for Will to examine her. "And you told Adam that that was yours, so it's the least I can do."

"So, we're all good?" she asked.

"We're all good," you confirmed.

"Now, let's take a look at that shoulder," Will said, unzipping his doctor's bag.

After a few minutes, he declared that it was just a light sprain, so it should be fine, even though it might hurt like hell.

"Good, because I need her to be okay," Voight said, exiting his office.

"What do you mean?" Hailey asked. It's not like she was one of his detectives.

"You helped us solve this case and led us to Grey. This wouldn't have been possible without you, Hailey," Voight told her.

"Thank you, Sergeant."

"Since Kim's on furlough right now and Erin left to go to New York, this unit is short...especially on female cops. What you did earlier, disarming Grey, you proved you can handle it here. So, what do you say? You wanna stay?"

"I'd be honored," Hailey answered, breaking out into a smile.

"Welcome to Intelligence, Detective Upton."

A/N: That was long! Sorry, it's taken me so long to update! I got a few ideas and never stuck with them until this one! Please vote and comment and tell me what you thought! Do you like more upstead centric stories or do you like the ones that mainly focus on Y/N and the Halstead bros? Also on my wattpad @ malewk172

#jay halstead #will halstead #chicago pd #chicago med #hailey upton #fanfiction #imagine #chicago pd imagine #halstead! sister #halstead sister imagine #reader insert

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somestansomewhere · 4 years ago

Text

Frank’s Dementia in 11a

Points to discuss:

Moments where Frank forgot.

Things he might be able to remember.

Other characters finding out.

Aftermath...

So to start of, I made a list of every instance in SEASON ELEVEN A, where Frank’s memory seemed a bit off, I’m not gonna analyze the whole series for this but I’m sure there’s more there. Now:

Moments Where Frank Forgot

11x01

1. Frank’s History of Chicago

While this does appear to imply just the opening monologue, there are actually several moments throughout the episode where Frank is talking about the Gallagher’s running Chicago to Alan. And while this seems like typical “Frank being drunk nonsense”, plus a spectacular opening to the season... I now see it in a different light especially after:

2. Frank’s Memory Elixir

Frank LITERALLY has a line asking for “memory elixir”, meaning booze, which Alan hands him. Ironic since he has ALCOHOLIC DEMENTIA. You can’t tell me that wasn’t intentional!

3. He Forgot Bars Were Closed

Now, I may be reaching here... BUT when Frank enters The Alibi for the first time this season (what a grand enterence btw) he says “I heard somewhere all bars were open again”. V responds by saying something along the lines of “three weeks ago maybe” and that the mayor shut them down again. Frank says “Well who the hell can keep track”. And okay, yeah maybe Frank genuinely didn’t know... but this is the bar he goes to EVERYDAY. Not to mention if they shut down less than THREE WEEKS AGO, Frank should know... idk this one might not count but I added it anyway. Kermit is unaware of bars being open/shut down in 11x03 so moving on:

11x02

4. The Alibi’s Secret Enterence

Okay, again REACHING! However, when Frank entered The Alibi through the Keg Zone door he forgot to use the “secret knock” and Kev had to remind him about it. Now in 11x01 he used the front door (and I’m not sure he knew to use the other door in that ep) but still at least he remembered to use the correct door in 11x02.

11x03

This is where it got noticeable.. strap in, here we go:

5. Taking Franny to School

He took her to the wrong school. This is the same person that knows the Southside perhaps better than his kids (lol), like the back of his hand! He not only took her to the wrong school but a middle/grade school. Franny is in elementary/preschool school. You can see in WHM’s face here that Frank was confused...

6. Uncle V and Aunt Kev

Maybe just a comedic slip up, but Frank calls Kev and V “Uncle V and Aunt Kev” as opposed to what they really are. Maybe he forgot? I’m reaching LOL.

7. Debbie Is Not Fiona

Frank talks about one of his favorite MEMORIES with Franny’s mom: Debbie, but “oh no, maybe that was Fiona”. Small moment, typical Frank but... nonetheless, poor memory. The writers are smart by mentioning Fiona in this scene... it’s “a Fiona mention”, we’re going to remember this, and that’s probably why they did it.

8. The Paper Store

Yeah, this was the first red flag for me and if I can recall, the moment EVERYONE knew something seemed off. Frank, walks out of the paper store with Franny and cannot remember where he is, or where they are headed. Once he is reminded of their “goals” for the day (by Franny, a five year old) he proceeds to head to the paper store... Franny once again let’s him know that they already went there and Frank notices the paper already in his (Franny’s) backpack. Ouch.

11x04

9. The Nation of Islam

Ooo this one hurt! After Frank suggests to visit The Nation of Islam in an attempt to get their help to get rid of the Milkoviches, him, Kev, and Liam do. We SEE them go there. It’s a whole scene, so later in the episode when Frank suggests to go ask them for help AGAIN as if it were a completely new idea, we as an audience know they already did that. As Kevin says they “JUST did that”. Frank forgot. Shit.

11x05

10. Mrs.McCurdy

Frank discusses with Kev about murdering Mrs.McCurdy, later he tries to murder her. We see it, we remember it becaue she grabbed Frank’s dick. It was funny, the scene evoked laughter, it forces the audience to remember it. Frank mindlessly walks into The Alibi and Kev asks Frank if he “did the thing”. Now at first Frank is confused. They were using “quotation talk” earlier so yeah I get it, but then when Kevin is more direct with Frank, Frank thinks Kev is implying that he had sex with Mrs.McCurdy... Frank is clearly confused. Only then does Kev point out that he meant MURDER. Frank takes a second, again if you watch he does not know what Kev is talking about, but then it hits him, and he remembers. Thus continuing the convo like nothing.

11x06

11. Monica

Now this one REALLY hurt. Frank’s first scene of the episode is a sex scene between him and Letty. She’s blonde, and Frank calls her Monica. He truly believes he is sleeping with Monica, only Monica is dead, she been since season seven. When Letty mentions that she isn’t Monica (thinking Frank calling her that was only a sex thing), we see WHM’s brilliant preformence once again. Frank doesn’t know what Letty means, he thinks she’s Monica. Then when he realizes she isn’t, he gets this lost dejected look on his face. He’s confused and knows that he keeps getting confused.

Frank says “I gotta get to work”. Letty asks him where he works and Frank is left bewildered.

12. Seven

Okay so remember Frank and Franny’s adventure in 11x03? Frank visits a dry cleaners to get some weed. They make a point of Franny saying that Frank will pay SEVEN for the weed. No offer is made and Frank must get it somewhere else. Throughout the episode Frank refterences SEVEN to Kev & V as the asking price to sell. We as an audience are forced to remember SEVEN. Also in 11x03, as Debbie frantically looks for Frank/Franny, she visits the dry cleaners where they were (retracing their steps). We as an audience have been there twice.

Now, in 11x06 Frank goes to pick up an order but like, we already saw him go there episodes ago. When the woman behind the counter literally tells him she has nothing for him and he argues with her, WE KNOW she is right. Once again, Frank forgot. I’m so sad. Not only that but Kev and V don’t have Frank going on runs anymore. Ian & Mickey are doing it... Frank is legit lost and forgot that he’s not doing that anymore, Kev tells him he’s not in 11x04.

Ms.G even says to Frank that she doesn’t need to write anything down to remember it because the “Mind’s a steel trap”. She doesn’t owe him... she can use her mind to remember where Frank cannot. The irony.

13. Pedestrian, Blue, Handlebar (abc)

a) Frank getting hit in the head results in him having a visit to the hospital where a nurse discovers that Frank has no clue how he got there and more specifically, how he got hit in the first place.

b) The saddest part, when asked his name he remembers FRANK. But has to look down at her sheet to know his last name is GALLAGHER. This is the man who walks around saying “It’s up to Frank Gallagher to save the neighborhood”. He forgot his last name.

c) The scene goes on, the nurse asks him to remember three words: pedestrian, blue, and handlebar. They discuss other things, then she asks him to tell her those words. It’s so abundantly clear that Frank just cannot. He doesn’t remember. He was told like 30sec ago and gets, for the first time ASHAMED. He’s the most shameless person ever (hence the title of the show) but now the tides have turned. He “doesn’t wanna play this game anymore”. Frank can recognize AGAIN that he is confused, only now he is forced to face it. The nurse noticed, she runs some tests and Frank learns that he has early stages of alcoholic dementia. This isn’t his liver, he can’t get a new one, this is his brain.

14. + 15. Letty & Terry

Just two bonuses, Frank wanders aimlessly into the Alibi again (like in 11x05) because it’s routine for him. Letty calls him over. Frank forgot they were supposed to meet there. :(

Frank and Terry on the porch: Maybe it’s just bad writing or they were trying to make a point but like a “Gallagher-Milkovich War” never happened??? We watched the show for 11 seasons... Also are the Milkoviches actually from Poland Frank? I’ll excuse that one cuz Ian mentioned it too, but I thought they wer Ukrainian. These seem like writing mistakes tho so oops.

Things He Might Be Able To Remember

Frank has his and Franny’s name tattooed on his body... he literally forgot his last name at the hospital. And if he forgets a bunch in 11b then that’ll be the payoff for the tattoo... he might not know why the tattoo is there or who the people are listed on his arm, or even what it means exactly, but he will know that Frank loves Franny.

Where he lives. Frank never threw out the paper with his diagnosis. He might remember his home, however the conflict comes in the fact that the Gallaghers might be selling it. He needs to be around people/places that are familiar to him. This could jeopardize his memory.

The Alibi is where Frank seems to just walk to or go to whenever he has no clue where he is or going but it’s subtle. I could see him getting lost and no one knowing where he is and Frank just being at the Alibi beacuse idk muscle memory? He’s on autopilot.

Early stages of ALCOHOLIC Dementia can improve. Like if maybe Frank were to tell someone and if he wasn’t removed from the Gallagher house, and oh I don’t know if Frank STOPPED DRINKING, he could remember. But I don’t think we’re heading in that direction, especially if the house is sold, and let’s face it... it looks that way.

Fiona? Will he forget her... this all feels reminiscent of 4x11.

Other Characters Finding Out

Franny, Kevin, and Liam, are the only people who have REALLY been subject to the possibility of noticing... but think about it. Franny is too young to notice anything, Kevin is not the brightest bulb, he doesn’t seem to realize it either, and Liam was exposed to it once, but at that time he was so scared about the Milkoviches that he didn’t notice it. Maybe if he saw it again, he would. Liam is smart enough.

I wonder if the Gallaghers will just find out the hard way (,like those stills from 11x08 are making me think,) or if anyone will begin to seriously pick up on it. I intially thought they would show Frank forgetting in front of each character until someone was able to notice but scratch that. They seem to be setting Lip up on the “alcoholic path” this season, (and I may go more into depth about that one another time, it’s another big post if I do get into it). But what will the Gallagher’s reactions/feelings be towards Frank’s diagnosis? Mickey and Ian had many Terry/Frank discussions in 11x06 literally setting up for it. It hurt when they all kept dismissing Frank because yup, they don’t know yet. They would have to help him in order to keep his memory maintained, but that’s the thing... Frank’s pride. He might deny their help even if they actually were to give it to him... Either way, I’m “looking forward” to see how this all unravels and how everyone finds out and what their reactions will be, which brings me to my final topic:

Aftermath...

So what happens? Will they sell the house, potentially causing Frank to forget? Will he not know his kids, his history? Will he die? Will Frank finally stop drinking... yeah I doubt that... So what WILL happen? Will the Gallaghers be left to take care of Frank? Will they even do that? Will he remember them?

What if in 1x01 Frank’s narration IS his memory? We see him talking about his kids to someone? It circles back? I don’t know, but either way I expect this whole thing to pull on our heartstrings. When the rest of the regulars find out... it’s gonna get real, and rough.

Interesting stuff coming up in 11b I’m sure. Let’s see how this plays out for our Protagonist and Patriarch: Frank Gallagher.

Omg, if you read through this, you are so cool and I really really appreciate you! Please send me an ask or write a note, I would love to get your take on the matter. 💙

Hope you enjoyed this analysis and I hope it didn’t go on too long.

#frank gallagher #season 11 #shameless season 11 #shameless #gallavich #dementia #my lists

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staywritten · 5 years ago

Text

All In│Bang Chan «Chapter Eight»

Synopsis: After a messy break up your sophomore year, you decided that the best thing for you was to finish off your college career single. You wanted to focus on yourself, grow as a person and finish off your degree strong. There’d be plenty of time for love after college. But after losing your camera you become friends with the seemingly perfect boy that threatens to ruin your plans.

Genre: SocialMedia!AU, College!AU, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Smut

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Chapter 8 Word Count: 1.5K

You couldn’t really explain the butterflies in your stomach. Meeting Chan was something you looked forward to and dreaded. Admittedly you claimed to be busier than you were and had many opportunities to pick up your camera from him, but you didn’t want this ambiguous, undefined routine you fell into to fizzle out because your excuse to contact him wouldn’t exist anymore.

Chan wasn’t some long distance boyfriend, since he literally lived twenty minutes from your campus, nor was he truly a stranger. You’d seen him on occasion around school, around Hyunjin and even performing with Changbin. It’s just you didn’t care, he was just a guy. And it scared you that he was no longer just a guy. You weren’t gonna lie to yourself, you knew this became a little more than a crush and your feelings might even be reciprocated and that scared you even more.

He became someone you shared everything with, your comforts, insecurities, happiness. You were vulnerable with him, which was a side of you that only Momo and Hyunjin hadn’t seen since your last relationship.

You found yourself at a packed club in Hongdae in honor of Changbin’s EP drop. It was the perfect opportunity to meet and you knew that if you flaked this time there wouldn’t be another chance. You couldn’t just wait until you thought you were ready.

Momo gripped your hand softly. “You ok? You’re shaking” she frowned softly.

“I’m alright just nervous” you frowned. “I know it’s all in my head but- what if he doesn’t like me in person?”

“You’re amazing” Hyunjin sighed, bringing you guys shots. “I know Channie-Hyung I talk to him literally every day. He's a nice guy, more than nice. He’ll love you” he held up the shots “Drink it’ll calm your nerves”

You all clanked your glasses together before downing the shot of apple soju the sweet burn welcomed down your throat. A few shots later you did loosen up, your nerves still there but at least you didn’t feel your heart pounding in your ribs. After your fifth shot your cheeks were a little warm, you swayed gently in Momo’s arms as you danced with her and Hyunjin.

It was like you could feel a gaze on you, you felt it earlier but you were too scared to follow it. This time you looked up, following the feeling toward the stage near the dj. You recognized the blonde curly mop of hair instantly. A shy smile on his lips as he gave you a little wave, before making his way down from the stage. For the first time all night you let go of Momo’s hand, your feet moving before your anxiety set back in. With each step you got a little more urgent, pushing past the people to get toward him.

He smiled letting out the lightest laugh, his cheek dimpling as he pulled you into a warm hug. “Hi” he buried his face in your hair, your arms wrapping around his figure, clenching at the back of his shirt, almost too afraid to let go. Your face fitting so comfortably in the crook of his neck.

“Hi…” you mumbled into his shirt. “You’re really here…” you held him closer, almost too shy to look up. The way his chest vibrates when he laughs warmed your heart.

“Of course I am” he pulled back just slightly to get a really good look at you. “Wow you’re gorgeous…” you tried to look away but he caught your chin between his fingers, his thumb gently grazing your lower lip, making you gasp just slightly. “Don’t look away, lemme see you”

“I feel so exposed” you laughed nervously, making eye contact with him. “I’m nervous”

He chuckled taking your hand and placing it over his chest, you could feel his heart racing. “I saw you a little while ago...I was just trying to work up the nerve to talk to you” He watched as your lips curled in the most beautiful smile and he couldn’t help but to mirror it. “We still have some time before Changbin’s set...do you wanna go talk somewhere quieter?”

You nodded letting him lead you toward the terrace, you looked back to Hyunjin and Momo to let them know you were stepping out. They smiled back waving, giving you a small thumbs up.

It was so easy to pick up right where you left off, the conversation flowed just as easily as it did through facetime. Except now there was this added element of his intense eye contact, you were in the middle of telling him about your day when you just faltered. He really was breathtaking. “Stop looking at me like that” you laughed nervously.

“Like what?” he gave you a smug look, leaning in closer. “How about this? is this better?” his lips curved into a smirk as his eyes gave off a teasing glint. Your back was against the wall as he caged you in.

“You’re teasing me” you pouted, your fingers grazing his before lacing between his large fingers.

“I am” he laughed, his forehead touching yours, brushing his nose along your bridge.

“Are you gonna kiss me?” your voice becomes smaller at his advances. Your teeth sinking into your lower lip.

He licked his lips, his gaze trained on every breath released. “Do you want me to kiss you Babygirl?”

There was something about his little nickname for you, it just did things. You nodded “Please Chris…” His lips met yours the moment his name slipped from your mouth. The first kiss was so sweet, gentle. Like his lips were testing the waters, as he pulled away from the chaste kiss he peppered smaller kisses against the side of your mouth. You cupped his cheek bringing his attention back to your lips. “More…” you whined, before kissing him again. This one much deeper than the last. Your mouth opening for him, letting his tongue in. He could taste the sweetness of the flavored soju on your lips and he couldn’t get enough, especially with how you’d whine and moan for him. He got lost in your touch, loving how restless your hands were traveling from his cheeks, to his chest down to his hand. Like you couldn’t decide on where to hold on to.

After what felt like an eternity you finally pulled away gasping for air, Turns out swimmers can hold their breaths very long. As you caught your breath he peppered kisses against your swollen lips, jaw and neck. Taking in this blissed out glazed look in your eyes as you tried to steady yourself. “My Babygirl…” he smiled.

“My Chris” you sighed happily as he pulled you in a hug.

“I hope I’m not getting ahead of myself but I really wanna see you again.”

You grinned, biting your lip “Pretty presumptuous” you teased. “And why’s that?”

He laughed nervously, hiding his face in your hair. “I kinda got too excited about tonight and left your camera on my desk”

You giggled hugging him tighter “Then I guess we don’t have a choice~”

Unfortunately the sound of the crowd cheering and the sound of Changbin getting introduced on stage pulled you guys apart. “We should probably head inside, Binnie would kill me if I missed any of his performance” His hand never left yours as he brought you inside, joining Hyunjin and Momo who were talking to Jisung and Felix.

The entire night felt like a dream, Chan’s arms wrapped securely around you, occasionally kissing you when your eyes met. “I can’t believe you’re here” he whispered against your ear, swaying you with the beat of Changbin’s rap.

“If this is a dream, I don’t wanna wake up…”

“I’m not going anywhere…” he kissed the crown of your head as you squeezed his fingers a little tighter.

After Chanbin’s set, Hyunjin and Momo headed out, because they both had early mornings. But you couldn’t find yourself ready to leave Chan’s arms yet as you made yourselves comfortable on the terrace. “I still can’t believe you’re real” you whispered, absently playing with his fingers, your back pressed against his chest.

“You’ve literally seen me before” he laughed placing a kiss beneath your ear, enticing the softest whimper. “I was very real at the swim meet”

You turned to face him, pouting a little. Realizing you had just a few too many shots and all your inhibitions were gone. “I was scared to meet you because when we started talking I knew I had a crush on you but I just thought it was really shallow… Like you were just Chan the hot swim captain… But now that I know you, you’re funny and warm, and so sweet...I can talk to you about everything and nothing and it still feels so natural.”

His smile was so bright, you swore he held the stars in his beautiful brown eyes. “I really like you Chan…” you whispered before kissing him, for the umpteenth time that night.

“I like you too…” he whispered before you took his lips between yours.

“Take me home?” you nipped at his lips, gazing up at him. He watched as your eyes darkened, your lips parting. There was such a heaviness to your question but he was more than under your spell. He kissed your cheek, before nodding and letting you get off his lap.

You were falling hard and fast and for the first time in your life, you let yourself get lost in the overwhelming warmth of another person.

He felt like home.

To Be Continued...

( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ Hey Friends I hope you guys enjoyed that chapter! the next one will be a combo of sns and written and then we’re back to sns for a while :3 I hope you don’t mind

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idio-cies · 4 years ago

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Jatp- Perfect Harmony Dissection

Holy Moly this show has taken me by surprise in the best possible way.

I forgot how good Kenny Ortega is... and omg the dynamics in this show are just *chefs kiss* anyway that’s for another post

All of these songs left an impression with me, but Perfect Harmony just got the cogs working in my brain so I wanted to dissect it because I can’t stop thinking about it.

This will be long but I hope people will bear with me.

I found out that Madison and Charlie wrote this one together for the show, so that’s cool. So, even if this is Julie’s fantasy/daydream, it objectively also has “Luke’s” input as well, considering Madison and Charlie were writing with the characters in mind.

The lead up to this song is Julie realising she is falling for Luke, and has Luke on the brain, so she slips up with calling Nick, Luke yadayada significant to say her crush has changed as well blah blah blah.

I first thought it was strange that they are all in black? They weren’t performing for anyone other than for merit. However Black is of course associated with death, mystery etc, but in this context ,with them being “fancy” it deems them as more elegant than anything. I like using this site for colour reference. Please make of it what you will, but I’m sticking with classy and mysterious with this performance.

Then I noticed how Julie and Nick are the centre of attention, plus Nick and Julie seem to improvise? They aren’t doing as the others are. Whether they are meant to or not. I think this is meant to draw parallels, with Nick sliding on the floor and Luke tumbling, then also the lift, how here it’s short and sweet, yet with Julie and Luke there are two and the second is drawn out and more meaningful etc.

I think she must be dancing normally in reality throughout this, but I’ll come back to that later.

So let’s get into this song.

“Step into my world”- I find this interesting because Luke is the one stepping over into hers, but also this is like some “in-between” that they're in; significant of the Limbo that the guys are currently stuck in and also the fact that Julie is the bridge. The world is probably metaphorical for music as Luke helps re-establish it in Julie and is also the guy where music is his whole world, as he lets all of his emotions out and connects with people. It’s a running theme being called up again. However, you cannot deny the possible connotation of Julie potentially stepping over with them. It’s also ironic as Luke “steps” into Julie’s world “I’m sorry we came into your life” - Luke, ep 1, and literally steps over here.

“Bittersweet love story about a girl”- undeniable. Their story is bittersweet. Impossible to be together; yet have a connection that runs so deep.

But now we see the scenery, and it’s all monochrome and the candles just scream romance, but also to me, of serenity.

I mean even the dancefloor reflects to make it look as if they are dancing on water or in an in between world. The reason why I point out monochrome gives the intention of “black and white” there is a lack of complexity, it is clear about how true their bond is, and to them it isn’t complex. Also I can’t help but think of yin and yang which can also be included here as they balance each other out. Julie yin, Luke yang. This is ironic considering Julie is always symbolised with light and Luke the contrast with a dark and being, you know, dead.

I also came across a gifset of the parallels to dirty dancing that Perfect Harmony dance had, and again, the colours are flipped with the pair which is just... interesting in this instance.

“Shook me to the core “Voice like an angel, never heard before”- pretty simple, Luke has always been amazed with Julie’s talent, plus a metaphor commonly attached to Julie, being called an angel. He is also calling her unique. Passage of touch.

But then we get the touch. So I think this whole hand passage thing is reflected in the time they tried to hold hands, then the last time and they could then touch. In this instance though it’s like Julie is the one being resurrected. Again, this could be another metaphor of his hand in helping her find her music again, but you cannot overlook the other implications.

So here is where they dance. I am no dance expert, but dance does have it’s own language that I think everyone can interpret, but I will try my best to explain. I also think “harmony” can be a way to express dance partners as well.

“Here in front of me”- I do think this is in reference being able to touch them, but the drawing up to her hands is so interesting because of the eye contact and draw. It’s more intimate.

Then they go into something similar to what the routine is meant to be in reality, but instead they make it like a pulse on the line “they’re shining so much brighter”

I point out a pulse because it’s “living” and it just juxtaposes with who Julie is talking about; the guys.

A twirl and lift on “than I have ever seen”- This is Julie talking about the guys. Ray calls them angels and then at the end of season they literally freaking glow so... (also pronoun change to collective when Julie starts singing)

“Life can be so mean”- ep 8, after Luke told him their demise would be one of three ways, Julie was going to be hurt all over again. Julie and Flynn had an understanding that the world was being cruel when they were discussing it. Also I just feel their dance here is like they are interpreting a rough ride/rollercoaster. They swing arms then tuck and twist.

“But when he goes, I know he doesn’t leave”- Luke will be in her heart, like she found with her Mum. She did let them go, and she understands she will have to do that, but they will live on in her heart.

Also hand over heart, as she “falls” into him and he doesn’t let her fall. That’s just cute.

“The truth is finally breaking through”- either their feelings or just what will be revealed to us. Though they are parted and Luke does the spinning on the ground so I expect a pitfall somewhere along the way (probs Caleb)

But he rolls right back to her

“Two worlds collide when I’m with you”- Well, the fact that they are the living and the dead.. so. Plus in-between. Don’t know how to interpret the dance here, I just like the swishy steps

“A voice is rising so, so high”- how Julie comes out of her shell. Also can’t help but link to the angel motif. Plus, Julie is lifted up, she is the catalyst, she is rising up in fame really. Luke is one of the people who helps her soar as well.

“We come to life, when we’re in perfect harmony”- Julie always being told she looks “alive again” when she’s doing music again. Music and playing with Julie is what makes Luke and the guys feel alive. I gotta say, Charlie and Madison do exhibit some good harmonising.

The lift that happened is like the improv that Nick and Julie do, but then Luke and Julie here make eye contact as she comes down again, but goes back to similar to the dance she is meant to be doing. Until she reaches up on the line “We say we’re friends”, he also helps lift them up.

“We play pretend”. I mean, they kinda do. Luke tries to pass off his feelings with the guys, but that boy is WHIPPED.

“You’re more to me”- right off the bat, I like it. Arms out and a hug. YES. Also just look at that bliss on her face, bless her.

“We create” well yes they create “the perfect harmony”

The cut off is abrupt as Julie snaps back to reality. Then she looks in the mirror and realises Luke isn’t there and that she must’ve gone insane. This is what gets me. I think this is the moment that she realises that her feelings for Luke are deeper than she realised and I think she truly thought that they may have been dancing together in the end.

Is this just an extremely vivid daydream, because she had one of these when she mentally performed “I got the Music” and she must’ve done something during that time as she took someone’s drumsticks during her little renaissance. So what happened in real life? Did she just dance around a little, humming a bop? I just... I imagine that this is just a very lucid daydream, which is fair enough, relatable, but it just interacts so much with real life rather than actually just being all in her head. I just find it interesting.

The full version has some lines that I also want to point out. In the second verse there are these lines:

”You set me free”- Luke sings this line which can mean that she will set his soul free- she is a part of his “unfinished business”

“You and me together is more than chemistry”- Julie sings this line. We know that chemistry was pointed out by Alex and Reggie to Luke, and I believe Flynn also says about them being an appealing pair when performing. But they are more than chemistry. I mean they do work well together and they care about each other deeply, but I also can’t help but think of the “signs” her mother was giving her, and believing that the guys were sent to her.

“Love me as I am, I’ll hold your music here inside of my hands”- This is sung by both of them. They already do this, but holding their music in each other’s hand is interesting. I guess this is saying about trust and that they will do it together. I also think this relates to being able to finally hold hands. It’s like the saying “Whatever’s mine is yours”. They share pain, they share lyrics, their passion for music etc.

Then in the bridge we have the lines “I feel your rhythm in my heart”- I have a feeling that they are in sync with each other, they can immediately click and tune in with a melody. It’s also ironic as Luke doesn’t have a heart.

“You are my brightest burning star”- Luke sings this line. It makes sense. As I have said previously, Julie is this beacon of light, Luke clearly is in awe of her and inspires him. He also straight up calls her a star in ep 9 as well

“I never knew a love so real”- oh man, the irony. Their connection is pure and true, it’s just so annoying that he’s a ghost

“We’re heaven on earth, melody and words”- again with the metaphor of the middle ground where I suppose Julie sits. I understand the idiom and the bliss that they feel, and the connection they have and share with people. It’s just interesting as at the moment earth is currently Luke and the guys’ afterlife.

Anyway, that has been my dissection of Perfect Harmony. Thanks for reading if you’ve gotten this far 😅

PS. the lack of visual aids is because Tumblr hates me, I apologise

#jatp #julie and the phantoms #juke #julie molina #luke patterson #jatp julie #jatp luke #jatp meta #jatp analysis

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creativityobsessed · 4 years ago

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Be Brave Adachi, or the musical shaping of episodes 1-4

Part 4: Episode 4

This is part of a 4 part series. You may wish to start with part 1, where I introduced the main musical cue we’ll be following and how it represents Adachi questioning the world as he knew it. Or, if you missed part 2, or part 3, you might want to start there.

If you would like to follow along, please cue up 13:15 in episode 4.*

HOO BOY does everything happen in Episode 4! I swear every time I went back to rewatch to check something I noticed 2 more things that were worth mentioning. Go get your drink of choice, we’re gonna be here a while.

Since we have so much to talk about, and there’s not much new going on, I’m going to gloss over the 1.5 rotations of Questioning that happen right after Adachi gets off the phone with Tsuge. Y’all probably recognize it by now, right? Right.

The really interesting new stuff in this episode starts after Kurosawa rescues Adachi and Fujisaki, while they’re walking back to the office. Here, for the first time in full since episode 1, we get a repeat of the guitar music that I called Adachi-at-home in the first post in this series. Now, I’m gonna have to make a slight retraction because a) I didn’t know yet that this was gonna be important later, and b) it’s more interesting than I originally thought. So, to add some nuance, this guitar cue is not just Adachi when he’s on his own, fully relaxed, it’s that plus Adachi ruminating on how he doesn’t compare to Kurosawa. In the first case, he’s wishing for just one of Kurosawa’s good qualities. Here, he’s pointing out that they are “fundamentally different” with overtones of I am fundamentally worse than he is. The super interesting thing that I missed the first time around though is that this is the tune of the Home section. Sure it’s in C-sharp major (ish) rather than A major (not exactly a related key, but not an unrelated key either, at least if you ask Brahms^), but the melody is the same enough that I DEFINITELY should have caught that. What can I say, *shrug* pandemic brain.

So, anyways, given what I have since discovered about this guitar cue, I’d like to revise what I think it’s about - it’s about Adachi’s unacknowledged crush on Kurosawa. He still doesn’t realize yet that Kurosawa is something he wants, but moments like these show us just how much he wants it.

Around 16:15, at the end of Fujisaki’s internal monologue in the elevator, Questioning comes in. This time, though, it’s not about Kurosawa in the slightest. When I was first trying to come up with a point to this series so my Intro to Musicology professor wouldn’t hunt me down for writing a “here’s some stuff” paper, I was all ready to say Kurosawa is the answer and call it a day. But if that’s the case, then why does Questioning start here? Sure, he just found out that Fujisaki knows about Kurosawa’s crush, but the worldview that he’s questioning isn’t that Fujisaki is more observant than he thought. It’s his reaction to her disinterest in relationships. Furthermore, this version of Questioning is far more stable than previous ones - instead of a tritone or other non-chord set of vertically stacked pitches, most of the Question phrases end on unison D, or some version of D + F-sharp (usually in the m6 orientation, rather than M3). Each Question phrase is approximately in time, or at least close enough that we have a sense of when the next will happen, where in the first few versions of Questioning the space between each phrase rotation felt indeterminate. I think what we’re seeing here is that even though Adachi still has questions, his life has already changed. He has a better sense of the people around him, and is less terrified of asking questions.

The Questioning section actually pauses when Kurosawa notices Adachi’s wound, and we don’t head into the next section immediately. In fact, we don’t ever get the next section here - we jump straight to Home, as Adachi starts back in on how much better Kurosawa is than him. It’s in the piano here, I think mostly so that they don’t have to change instrumentation midway through (we’ll see why in a second). This version of Home is the same slow tempo as the guitar version, and it’s very dry. All of the harmony is in block chords, which contributes to a kind of emptiness. But that’s ok because it doesn’t last.

After a single (musical) sentence, Adachi begins to hear Kurosawa’s own self-loathing through his thoughts. As this happens, the chords that were once in blocks stretch out into arpeggios, filling in the spaces around the melody, in a move that reminds me so much of the way that letting go of a bit of anxiety can feel like unfurling from a tiny space.** Kurosawa’s “I’m sure he finds me annoying” is immediately followed by the addition of a cello line - and I’m about to go do some rewatching looking for where cello is important, but my first impression hypothesis is that cello represents Kurosawa’s inner headspace, particularly after some of the ways I noticed it being used in ep. 7. The cello twines around the piano line that we’re already familiar with, possibly as a metaphor for the way that Adachi and Kurosawa are having similar thoughts. And, as with earlier episodes, we end without a full resolution - we get a cadence, sort of, but the piano continues for a bit and ends with a cluster of notes with G as the main thing that catches our ear. For those unfamiliar, G is not a particularly tonic-feeling note in A major. It’s flat 7, which helps tremendously in feeling like we are NOT in major, better suited to the melancholy nature of the various thoughts flying around here.

And then. Ok, and THEN. The part I have been writing this entire series to talk about. So, to set the scene, right? Adachi thanks Kurosawa, Kurosawa deflects but gives Adachi a direct, blinding smile, and for once Adachi doesn’t squint. He returns the smile. He has become comfortable here.

As if that weren’t enough, the music comes in, and yes, we’re back to Questioning, but it is absolutely in time, with two beats of 6/8 between each iteration of the Question Phrase. Furthermore, this version has both guitar and glockenspiel in it - the guitar is Adachi’s home instrument, and here it suggests he’s become comfortable with questioning the world around him, while the glock does more to highlight the difference in the treatment of time.

We don’t move on from this section for a bit, because Fujisaki interrupts his thoughts. We do, however, get hints of the next section - a rising line in the piano timed in the same way as the next section will start, for example. The underpinnings of the Questioning section provide a lush background for Adachi’s monologue on visiting Fujisaki’s mother, something the first version of Questioning could not have done. Adachi is being very brave here, and the changes to our favorite cue are a reflection of that.

As he finishes we head in to the section of the piece, which is mostly accompanying shots of Fujisaki being overwhelmed, Adachi being worried that his attempt to be brave has gone wrong, and not much happening. There’s a weird loop in the middle, which makes me think that they tried it with the whole track and it felt waaaay too long without anything happening.

Anyway, after she reassures him that his bravery is appreciated, we head into the Answer section. Adachi and Fujisaki’s chitchat isn’t what’s important here. The important thing is we have the Answer section, and here it is fully scored, electric guitar and bass, percussion, the works. Not only that, but the cue ends, and it ENDS ON THE TONIC. We did it folks! We found the resolution! And it turns out, the way to get there was to BE BRAVE.

This may not be the end of the whole series, but this is AN ending. This is the pan-out that we get at the end of every 90s Hollywood teen romcom. Adachi has Learned Something with capital letters, and it’s not that he loves Kurosawa or even that he needs to give up his low self-esteem. It’s that he can be brave, and he can contribute. It’s hard, and it may take four episodes of building to it, but he can do it.

Which is a lesson he’s really gonna need for the beginning of 5. But that’s a story for another time.

If you’ve followed my nerdery this far and you’ve enjoyed this series, please let me know via likes, replies, and/or reblogs. I may eventually continue the series if there’s enough interest (there’s some FASCINATING things that happen to this cue in episode 7, for example), but for now, I’m gonna go take a nap.

I did a follow up in response to an ask, if you really really want more.

*All video timings and quotes are from Irozuku Subs videos. If you’re watching somewhere else, your mileage may vary slightly.

^If you’re a SUPER HARD CORE theory nerd, look up Neo-Riemannian Theory for how this works. Or just if you want your brain to explode. Either way, have fun, cause I need it for my dissertation and I STILL don’t quite understand how it works.

**Not an Academically Approved metaphor. This is why I’m doing this on tumblr.

#cherry magic #cherry magic! thirty years of virginity can make you a wizard?!#adachi kiyoshi #music meta #For anyone who's actually read ALL OF THIS #thank you very seriously from the bottom of my heart #in case you were curious the google doc ended up 8 pages long #it would probably be more if I felt up for editing more #anyway really seriously thanks for putting up with my weirdo music theory nerd vibes CM fandom #I appreciate it

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inliar · 4 years ago

Text

spaced in, spaced out

word count: 4.5k

hyojin-centric

hyojin wholeheartedly loves space; the big kind, like the sky and the planets and the brilliant, brilliant stars, but also the small kind, like the time he gets to himself when everything screams louder than it should.

mildly inspired by on the run LA ep 22, time stamp 10:25

a/n: i’ve posted this on ao3 and have since orphaned it (due to unnecessary worrying) so if you recognize it, that’s likely why.

warning: mentions of exhaustion / depressive symptoms

on days when practice runs late (which is almost every day when you don’t know when to stop; a trait hyojin admits he has but refuses to see the problem with), hyojin likes to look at the sky. when he’s feeling lazy, or when dance practice is exceptionally gruelling, he can only really manage to make it to the nearest window and do his best to look up and over the surrounding building’s walls. but when he’s feeling particularly active, he’ll take the stairs up to the rooftop patio and enjoy the sight. from there, he has a clear, unobstructed, view.

not that it’s all that clear, though. light pollution, residual smog, and occasionally cloudy skies mask what hyojin imagines would be a stunning scene without. he’s looked up some night sky pictures on nasa’s official gallery, and they were absolutely breathtaking. so were their ridiculously high quality photos of the solar system, and the milky way, and all the constellations. he has these images saved in a neat little folder on his phone, for days when his own view doesn’t cut it. one day, hyojin would like to see them in real life. maybe he could visit an actual observatory with professional telescopes.

but as it stands, all hyojin can see from his place on earth is the moon, and, if he’s lucky, a couple of stars. on most days, that’s enough. he can observe how far along the lunar cycle the moon is, and he can close his eyes and make a tiny wish to the first star he saw that night. he’s not sure if his wishes help — luck is a fickle thing that he’s never quite had enough of — but he figures it can’t hurt. and after his little ritual, he can return back to his practice room or his dorm with a peaceful mind. he’s here. he’s grounded. he has a more or less beautiful sky to look at. on most days, that’s enough.

but on other days, it’s not. like today.

for one, it’s not even nighttime. a glance at the clock in the practice room tells him that it’s 17:34, which he eventually translates into 5:34 p.m.. it’s much too early to look to the sky for comfort, and it is definitely much too early for the type of crisis that hyojin normally only gets very late at night or very early in the morning. the ones where he can’t do anything besides sit in place like some useless tree stump while he questions his life.

“do you want to go get dinner?”

hyojin hates wasting time, so he doesn’t let them happen often, but every now and then one sneaks by him. especially when he’s overworked and tired and doesn’t have the energy to fight it off. he’s not sure what’s happening just yet, but he can sense that familiar, unsettling feeling simmering somewhere very near.

“hyung, you good?” hyojin hears, and he jolts in place where he’s sitting on the practice room floor. yuto’s looking down at him, all wide eyed and polite, and seungjoon is draped over the poor boy’s back.

“yeah, sorry, i was just … thinking.” hyojin replies lamely, cursing himself for his lack of a better explanation. all of these thoughts, and not a single one is of any use outside of his head.

“seungjoon hyung asked if you were getting dinner with us, but you didn’t answer.” yuto continues. hyojin pauses to process this, before noticing just how quiet the room is. a glance around the room confirms his suspicions; the room is empty, save for the three of them. “where did everyone else go?” hyojin asks.

“jaeyoung and minkyun said they were going to the studio after practice today to work on a new song, remember? and changyoon went to start a vlive. they all said goodbye before they left?” seungjoon explains.

huh. hyojin doesn’t recall any of this. “right, now i remember!” hyojin lies, perhaps a bit too eagerly. he can feel seungjoon staring at him, but he avoids the impulse to look back and stubbornly maintains eye contact with yuto instead.

“so … dinner?” yuto asks.

hyojin hesitates. he is hungry, but going out to eat means talking to someone to order. it means maintaining a conversation with his members, or at the very least keeping up with what they’re talking about. they’re usually really good at sensing when doesn’t want to talk, and they never push him, but hyojin doesn’t want to show off how drained he’s feeling at the moment. just thinking about it makes his head hurt.

“i don’t really want to go out today.” hyojin confesses. seungjoon and yuto nod together like a pair of synchronized bobble heads. cute.

“i’m kind of getting a headache, so i think i’ll head back to the dorm for a bit and take a nap. maybe i can go live sometime today, too. did anyone say they wanted to go after changyoon?” hyojin asks.

“no, i don’t think so.” seungjoon replies, which causes hyojin to accidentally make eye contact with him. darn. seungjoon can be ridiculously perceptive when he wants to be, especially when it comes to reading him. hyojin is not in the mood to be read right now.

seungjoon must come to some sort of conclusion in his head, because he stops staring at hyojin with that weird, ambiguous gaze. “i’ll drop some food off at your place after we’re done. that kimchi fried rice and those dumplings you like.” seungjoon says decisively, before pushing himself off from yuto’s back. “are you coming down with us, at least?”

“yeah, let’s go.” hyojin mumbles as he stands up. his muscles are sore, more likely a result of yesterday’s practice than today’s. the teachers went particularly hard yesterday. it was this constant series of ‘again, again, again’ for all these minuscule details that even yuto seemed to have a hard time catching. but they were much better afterwards because of it, so hyojin figures he shouldn’t complain.

he’s happy to listen to yuto and seungjoon babble about dance practice as they walk down the stairs; partially because he loves hearing the passion in their voices as they discuss how they want to present themselves, and partially because he doesn’t think he has the power to sustain a conversation right now. thankfully, neither of the two push him to say anything. he’s not sure whether it’s because he said he was getting a headache or because they can sense something is actually off with him, but he’s grateful nonetheless.

hyojin remembers to smile and say goodbye when he parts ways with seungjoon and yuto. then, he puts his phone on do not disturb before starting his trek home. he doesn’t want to talk to anyone just yet.

hyojin sits down on his bed and he doesn’t cry. he simply thinks.

sometimes he feels like a fake. he’s been told by dozens of people that his singing voice is so emotional. that it conveys a depth of feeling that’s heart wrenchingly beautiful when it needs to be, and technically perfect when it doesn’t. and he’s grateful for that, he truly is. but sometimes, he worries that it isn’t enough.

not that he doesn’t express emotions, because he does. he knows he does. anyone who’s observed hyojin long enough can see it. but the one thing he feels like he hasn’t openly expressed is sadness. which is understandable, after all, since he’s an idol. people come to him and his music for comfort, not to hear him complain. but he’s starting to believe that his absolute inability to convey this basic emotion is what’s causing all of his weird crises.

hyojin wishes he could cry. but he hasn’t cried in so long that he fears he no longer knows how to. bottled up emotions don’t free themselves easily, not when he’s tightened the cap so hard and so often that he’s not sure where the bottle ends and the cap begins.

‘don’t you feel bad?’ he chides himself.

‘yes,’ his inner voice croaks.

‘then prove it,’ he thinks. he challenges himself. he demands.

hyojin doesn’t cry, so he stands up. it’s time for him to get a grip on himself. he takes a shower and changes into comfortable clothes. he doesn't have anything else to do for the rest of the day, so he tries to take a nap as well. it’s hard at first — he’s oddly cold under the power of the air conditioning (that he never bothered to learn how to turn off) and his mind is still whirring with empty, useless, thoughts — but his sheer exhaustion overpowers it all as he falls into a shallow, troubled rest.

when he wakes up, his room is much darker then it was before. he reaches out for his phone, his hand haphazardly scrabbling for purchase on his nightstand before finally picking it up. squinting, he manages to read the time: 8:19 p.m.. cool, so he got around two hours of sleep. he figures that’s not too bad. he got four the other day when he was actually trying to go to bed.

for a moment, hyojin contemplates attempting to sleep again before deciding against it. he’s a little drowsy, but he’s not physically tired anymore. with that in mind, he gets up, slips his phone in his pocket, and opens his bedroom door. he could use a cup of water.

the lights are on somewhere out there, which hyojin guesses probably means that changyoon is on the couch playing kart rider or something. his assumption is proven to be correct when he spots changyoon, in sweatpants and a t-shirt, mumbling under his breath at his phone.

“what are you doing?” hyojin asks, turning towards the kitchen to pour himself some water. just before he looks away, he sees changyoon flinch. “n-nothing, i was just texting minkyun,” he hears changyoon stammer awkwardly.

hyojin pauses. suspicious. changyoon is definitely hiding something. hyojin considers confronting his roommate, but before he gets the chance to do so he feels his stomach grumble. right, he skipped dinner.

“did you already eat?” hyojin asks instead, taking his cup of water with him as he walks to the couch. it’s then that he notices the nearly empty takeout box of dumplings on the coffee table.

“never mind, i guess you have.” hyojin answers himself, putting his cup on the table and sitting down next to changyoon. “hmm, what should i eat?”

“oh, right!” changyoon says, popping the last dumpling in his mouth and standing up. “i ran into seungjoon and yuto on the way here. they gave me some takeout for you,” he explains as he walks to the fridge.

hyojin had forgotten about that, but he remembers now. “yeah, i think he said he was going to do that. kimchi fried rice and dumplings, right?” hyojin asks. he could really go for some dumplings right about now, especially after seeing changyoon eating.

changyoon freezes. “o-oh, so seungjoon told you,” he chuckles nervously, pulling a clear plastic bag out of the fridge and bringing it back to where hyojin is sitting on the couch. he’s trembling, which is odd. hyojin already has a very bad feeling about this, but he doesn’t want to say anything yet. surely changyoon wouldn’t do something so dumb as to -

“where are my dumplings?” hyojin demands, after opening the styrofoam container and only finding fried rice. he looks inside the empty plastic bag one more time, just to be sure (they’re not there), before glancing at the empty styrofoam container that changyoon was eating out of before. funnily enough, it’s the same type of takeout box as his fried rice container.

“you ate my dumplings?” hyojin shrieks, immediately grabbing a pillow from the couch. changyoon has already wisely retreated to the very end of the room, but hyojin wastes no time in lunging to where changyoon escaped to with agility akin to his deer nickname. changyoon futilely attempts to dart out of the way, but hyojin manages to grasp the collar of his shirt with one hand while he smacks changyoon with the pillow in his other hand. “what - were - you - thinking?” hyojin hisses, punctuating each word with a thump from the pillow. he notices that changyoon is covering his head, so he makes sure to hit the deserving food thief extra hard.

“i’m sorry, i’m sorry!” changyoon wails as he drops to the ground to shield himself further. “i was hungry!”

“and you thought to take my food, you jerk?” hyojin yells, dropping and holding changyoon down with his knee while he continues to bash him with the pillow. “you didn’t even leave any behind for me!”

“i’m sorry, i’m sor- ow! stop hitting me, please, i’ll buy you more dumplings!” changyoon begs, and it’s enough for hyojin to graciously let changyoon go. “you better,” hyojin threatens, standing up. “you’re lucky i’m weak right now, you brat.”

“i’m sorry, what? you call that weak?” changyoon asks incredulously, sitting up and leaning back on his hands. “was that pillow made out of rocks?”

“if i hadn’t just woken up, and i wasn’t so hungry …” hyojin trails off.

“you know what, i don’t even want to think about it,” changyoon decides. “but the food stall closes at 10, so we should get going if you want the dumplings tonight.”

“i’m sorry, we?” hyojin asks incredulously. “why do i have to go out?

“don’t you want to personally make sure i get the right ones?” changyoon offers.

“no, because i can tell you right now which ones i want — pork, by the way — and if you forget you can text me.” hyojin says.

“but i don’t want to go outside alone! it’s dark, and it’s scary!”

“sucks for you, then, you shouldn’t have eaten my food in the first place. and since when have you been scared of the dark?”

“please?” changyoon asks. “i’ll buy you ice cream if you do.”

hyojin pauses. ice cream does sound really good right now. “okay, fine.” he decides. “but i’m not changing.”

“yeah, me neither. the food stall lady has known us for forever, though, so it’s probably fine.” changyoon reasons, standing up. “let me get my wallet and then we can go.”

“okay,” hyojin agrees. “i need to fix my hair anyways, it’s probably a mess.”

hyojin manages to tidy up his bedhead/warrior hair and find a cap in his room, but changyoon still hasn’t come out yet. “are you coming?” hyojin calls, walking out of his room to sit on the couch. he picks up his unfinished glass of water and takes a sip. he wouldn’t want to have damaged his throat after his screaming fit.

changyoon walks into the living room, looking sheepish. “so, um, how mad would you be if i told you that i think i left my wallet at the company?”

“... you’re serious.” hyojin deadpans incredulously.

“yeah, uh, i just realized i left my coat in the room where i did my vlive, and i normally carry my wallet in my pocket.” changyoon explains, before wincing. maybe he was expecting to get hit again?

hyojin sighs. “it’s fine. it’s on the way, anyway. let’s go?” he asks, before downing what’s left of his drink and standing up.

changyoon nods happily. “you’re the best and i love you?” he offers.

hyojin pushes changyoon. “ew. you can be sappy after i’ve eaten,” he laughs. “now get me some food.”

“come in with me?” changyoon asks, once they’re in front of WM. “i swear i saw the ghost last time, and i don’t want to face it alone.”

“well, why do i have to see it?” hyojin grumbles, but he opens the door for changyoon anyway. hyojin’s not heartless enough to ditch him, especially when he’s buying him food. but if he’s being really honest, he’d accompany changyoon regardless.

“what room did you leave your stuff in?” hyojin asks as they climb up the stairs, before coming to a realization.

“should we have asked the security guards for the keys?” hyojin pauses, before turning around. “wait, we should have, hold on, let’s go back -“

“wait!” changyoon calls, his voice amplified in the empty stairwell. hyojin reaches to cover his ears.

“oh, sorry, that was too loud,” changyoon realizes belatedly. “but trust me, we don’t need the keys.”

“what do you mean we don’t need the keys? the security guards always lock everything up after the office workers leave.” hyojin says, puzzled.

“minkyun’s in that room, he’s the one that told me i left my sweater there.” changyoon explains, as he continues to climb the stairs. instinctively, hyojin follows him.

“but why didn’t you tell me before? you could have told me that minkyun was there when you said that you left your wallet here.” hyojin asks.

“well i - uh, i forgot?” changyoon stammers.

hyojin frowns. changyoon is somehow being even more suspicious then when he ate hyojin’s dumplings, which is very confusing. something about his words are not adding up. he opens his mouth to ask something else, before being interrupted by changyoon.

“okay, we’re here!” changyoon exclaims, opening the door. except it doesn’t lead to the second or third floor like hyojin had expected.

“why are we on the roof?” hyojin asks, following changyoon before stopping in his tracks.

“oh hey, you’re here!” minkyun exclaims.

except it’s not just minkyun. the rest of the members are all there, bizarrely sitting in a circle on a large blanket on the roof. there’s various soda cans scattered around the edge of their huddle, and a couple of chip bags lie in the middle. if hyojin didn’t know better, he’d guess by the food that it was a poorly prepared picnic or a decently prepared sleepover.

“what …?” hyojin trails off in confusion.

next to him, changyoon breathes a sigh of relief and runs towards the rest of the members. “i am never doing this again. that was the most stressful hour or whatever of my life. i am incapable of lying, i swear he almost caught me twice, i have aged because of this -“

“oh, be quiet, this was your fault anyway.” minkyun snaps, but without a single hint of malice in his voice.

“so, um?” hyojin asks, frozen in place, as changyoon and minkyun bicker in the background. “what?”

“well, uh, this might sound pretty dumb, but you were really out of it in practice today.” jaeyoung starts, standing up and walking towards him. the rest of them do the same, abandoning their drinks and their snacks. “you were listening to what the teacher said and doing the dance moves correctly and everything, but it was like you weren’t actually there? you didn’t even say ‘bye’ back when minkyun and i left.”

darn. he was being obvious. hyojin opens his mouth, ready to give some kind of excuse, but seungjoon cuts him off.

“we wanted to ask you about it, but we didn’t know what to say and we didn’t want to make it awkward for you. and you mentioned how looking at the sky clears your mind, right? so we thought it would be nice to stargaze together? except it’s really cloudy …” seungjoon trails off.

hyojin looks up. seungjoon’s right, he can barely see the moon behind the clouds, let alone any stars. but the mere fact that his members came together and planned this in the first place is really, really nice.

hyojin looks around again and thinks. he knows for a fact that no one had chips at their dorm (seungjoon recently confiscated them all and donated them to the staff when he was feeling particularly sensitive about his self induced diet), so someone had went out and bought all the snacks so they’d have something to eat. someone had brought drinks so they wouldn’t get thirsty. someone had lugged this very big blanket up many flights of stairs so they’d have someplace clean to sit. someone had suggested doing this because they thought he felt bad, and someone had planned the event, even taking care to keep it a secret, to make him feel better. and they did this in their spare time, instead of practicing more or taking a well deserved break, for him.

they planned this all for him.

jaeyoung takes his silence as a bad thing, and hurriedly chimes in. “i mean, this might not have been what you were thinking of when you said you liked the galaxy, and we can always do something else! we don’t have a group practice tomorrow anyway, so we can do something fun tonight.”

“no, no! i’m just … this is good. actually, this is perfect. i - you didn’t have to do this, but it’s really thoughtful, and i?” hyojin buffers, completely lost for words.

seungjoon takes his arm. “you can just say thank you, and come sit with us.” he laughs, guiding hyojin back to their blanket where they’ve conveniently left a space for him to sit.

yuto hands him a coke as he takes his place, and hyojin wordlessly opens it and takes a sip. “thank you,” hyojin says, after a short pause. “i’m serious. this is one of the nicest things anyone has ever done for me.”

“you’re always trying to take care of us, yeah? we can do this for you.” minkyun says, and it’s so thoughtful hyojin winces a little. he’s not in the right headspace to vent about his emotions right now. he’s not even sure if he has the right words for them. maybe later, when he has them sorted out in his head, he’ll share them with the others. but for now, he just wants to spend some time together, in each other's proximity.

hyojin normally looks to the sky to clear his head, but for once, his mind is blissfully empty. something about this entire situation brings him genuine peace and he’s extremely grateful for that. it’s not like he tries to overthink or overwork himself, but he somehow ends up overdoing things anyway. very rarely does hyojin let himself sit back and just do things. very rarely does hyojin let himself be content with just being enough, and not more. right here and right now, though, hyojin feels like enough.

“so that’s why changyoon ate my dumplings.” hyojin realizes belatedly.

the rooftop was silent before, but somehow it becomes even quieter. “changyoon stole your food?” yuto whispers in horror.

“okay, in my defence!” changyoon screams, raising his hand. “i wouldn’t have had to resort to this if you guys didn’t make me bring him here! you know i’m bad at lying, and you still chose me! i needed a reason to be nervous in front of him!”

“and you’re still alive?” seungjoon asks, shocked. “after eating his food?”

“barely.” changyoon complains. “he makes a pillow hurt.”

“i knew you wouldn’t be so dumb as to eat my food for no reason.” hyojin mutters under his breath.

“do you know how many times i nearly had a heart attack because of you?” changyoon begins, pointing an accusatory finger at hyojin. “when you came out of your room i was so stressed. we were all texting each other trying to make plans, and i was eating your food, and i had to pretend i was texting minkyun about something normal and not this whole surprise event. and then i had to make a dumb excuse to get you here, and i said i left my wallet in my coat — why would i even wear a coat, it’s summer?”

hyojin didn’t even notice that. probably because he was so caught up on the food he was missing that he didn’t even see the signs right in front of him.

“i realized it the second after i said it, but i’m so grateful you didn’t call me out for it. and then you asked me about the keys, and of course we didn’t need the keys because everyone was already here, so i had to make up another lie about minkyun, except it didn’t even make sense because i totally would have mentioned it before, and this was just an overall traumatic experience. kim hyojin, never ask me another question again.” changyoon finishes dramatically.

“but we wouldn’t have made you do this alone if you didn’t try to add hyojin to the group chat. this is technically your own fault.” minkyun points out, and hyojin frowns. “what groupchat?” hyojin asks.

“you didn’t get the notifications?” seungjoon asks, and hyojin shakes his head.

“so seungjoon tried to make a groupchat with all the members except you so we could figure out what to do together, right?” minkyun starts. “but changyoon, this absolute idiot, literally asks, ‘oh, why aren’t we just using the groupchat we already have’ and adds you. why do you think we left him out in the first place?”

“it was an honest mistake!” changyoon whines. “anyone could have done it!”

“but you did it.” minkyun teases, and changyoon stutters out excuses.

“wait, but you had no clue that we were doing this?” jaeyoung asks. “i figured we ruined it after we added you to the groupchat by accident.”

“i didn’t even get the notifications, though, are you -? oh.” hyojin says.

“what?” yuto asks.

“i turned my notifications off after i said bye to you and seungjoon.” hyojin realizes.

“then i didn’t even ruin anything! it didn’t have to be me in the first place!” changyoon screams. “this is so unfair!”

“but hey, at least you were successful.” seungjoon points out, and everyone else nods.

“the emotional trauma? that you put me through? what about that?” changyoon asks, but he’s interrupted by the sound of jaeyoung slapping his own arm.

“sorry, mosquito.” jaeyoung explains sheepishly.

“shoot, we forgot about bugs.” seungjoon sighs. “do you want to just go inside? we can order chicken or something.”

“actually, that sounds great right now. i haven’t had dinner yet, and i’m so hungry.” hyojin says happily.

“you didn’t have dinner? i literally brought you food!” seungjoon complains.

“okay, but after changyoon ate my dumplings, did you really think i was going to focus on eating over revenge?”

seungjoon pauses. “yeah, never mind. but still!”

“it’s okay, i’ll eat it later.” hyojin says. “but let’s order something in for now? and we should probably clean all this up, too.”

“we’re going inside? good, i’m getting cold.” yuto adds, standing up and picking up his empty coke can and a half eaten bag of chips.

“do you want to sleep over in the practice room?” minkyun suggests, laughing. “we’re already ordering chicken, this is basically our trainee days all over again.”

“you know what, i’m actually down for that.” jaeyoung says, grinning. “if they let us do it five years ago, they’ll let us do it now.”

“honestly?” hyojin asks, smiling one of his first real smiles. he hasn’t been this content for a while. “that sounds really, really good.”

it’s been a while, hyojin thinks as they clean up, since he’s been truly happy like this. it's been a while, he thinks, since everything has felt right. but here, in this space with five of the people he loves the most, he feels like enough. and for now, that’s all that matters.

#onf #on/off #hyojin #kim hyojin #onf fanfic #hyojin fanfic #other members are featured #onf hyojin #writing

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wesawbears · 5 years ago

Text

I couldn’t get the part from ep. 8 about Geralt’s eyes out of my head, so here’s a little something exploring that. Pretty much indulgent fluff, but that’s my brand so -shrug-

Like most complications in Geralt’s life as of late, this current one was Jaskier’s fault.

Perhaps that was unfair of him to say. Geralt didn’t mind the bard’s company, not truly. Even if he usually let his words and songs just flow over him as they walked, there was something comforting about the sound, even if he would never actually tell the bard that. He reserved that- tenderness, if you could call it that- for the nights they spent pressed together, taking comfort in each other’s bodies, and Jaskier’s constant stream of conversation repurposed into cries and pleas of pleasure. It was simple- as simple as the life of a witcher could get, he supposed.

What wasn’t simple, however, was this hunt. It was supposed to be just a run of the mill kikkimora, easily dispatched. The complication was that Jaskier moved. It was a small thing, just a shift, but it alerted the creature to his presence. And in that moment, Geralt remembered why it was easier not to be connected to anyone, because the sharp spike of fear he felt when he saw the thing move towards Jaskier was dangerous. Made him sloppy. And sloppy witchers were dead witchers.

He strikes at the thing and feels sharp talons slice towards his face, the thing shrieking as Geralt’s sword drives into its heart. It’s a clean hit, killing it quickly. But Geralt is so distracted from trying to make sure Jaskier hasn’t tripped over a root and gotten himself hurt that he doesn’t see the talon falling towards him and is caught by the graze of it against his eye.

He hisses in pain, but manages to make it to a tree before having to sit, taking calming breaths. Jaskier hurdles over to him, concern furrowing his brow.

“Geralt, are you- why are you sitting? Are you alright? Let me see, you stubborn lug-”

Geralt moves him back, perhaps a bit more harshly than he should, but he’s in pain, damn it. Jaskier, persistent bastard that he is, just presses closer.

“Is it your eye?” he asks, and moves his hand to try and get a look and Geralt just- can’t. He turns his head quickly, away from the gentle touch he can’t bear.

Jaskier huffs as though Geralt is denying him something important, but backs off. “Stubborn goat...worse than a child, I swear. If you won’t let me look, at least admit that we need to find a healer. Or a, a mage. Something. Kikkimoras are venomous, right? Or poisonous? If it bites you, it’s…”

Geralt has never wanted so desperately to be able to roll his eyes, but he can’t, so instead, he ignores Jaskier’s nervous rambling and stands. His vision is a little foggy, but not gone, so that’s...something. He feels better once he’s on Roach, trusting her to lead him forward. She has a keener sense of direction than Jaskier, at least, and he’s too tired to steer too much, so he’s relying on her to see for him.

Jaskier manages to get them to a town soon enough, and is admittedly rather diligent in finding a healer. For all that Jaskier’s incessant talking made Geralt’s life difficult at times, he could at least admit that having the bard around made for more pleasant town experiences. If Jaskier hadn’t been around when this happened...well, in truth, he probably would have just nursed his eye himself and hoped that it returned to normal with time.

Now, though, Jaskier refused to leave his side as the healer examined Geralt’s eye. It wasn’t a magical injury, so the treatment was just a salve and keeping it covered and away from direct light. He followed instructions and set off to find an inn, too tired to start the journey back to receive payment for the job. They still had enough to pay for the healer, a room, and Roach from the last job, and Jaskier’s singing would cover the rest. He didn’t stick around for the festivities, just headed up for a bath and rest after wolfing down some stew.

He tried to relax, but having one eye covered was less than comfortable and it was making him irritated. Injuries were commonplace in his line of business, so much so that he hardly noticed them anymore. But his eyes...they were the one part of being a witcher he could never seem to shake, no matter how he tried. He still remembered seeing himself for the first time after the trials. Everything about him was different, from his body to his hair, but it hadn’t bothered him until he caught a glimpse of himself and didn’t recognize the eyes staring back at him. It was the first time he’d felt less than human.

He hears rather than sees Jaskier enter the room, his jack rabbit heart giving him away as always. “Geralt, I brought you some water, no need to thank me, not that you- you’re shaking.”

Geralt glanced up at him and absently wondered what he must look like. A half-mad beast that’s been caged, no doubt. Whatever he saw, Jaskier tched and knelt in front of him.

“Geralt. What is it? Does it hurt? I can get you more salve…”

“No.”

Jaskier’s lip quirked. “No it doesn’t hurt, or no you don’t want more salve?” Geralt merely grunted and Jaskier rolled his eyes as though he were being exceedingly annoying. “Tell me what’s wrong.” When Geralt refused to answer, he went on. “You never talk about your eyes. I mean, you never talk about,” he gestured in Geralt’s general direction, “any of it. But you get especially touchy when people mention your eyes.”

Geralt sighed. Jaskier was perceptive, and he could read Geralt better than most. “Hmm,” he said, rather than admit that he was right.

Still, Jaskier pressed on, either because he knew he was right or because he had no sense of self-preservation. The two converged annoyingly often where Jaskier was concerned. “What did they do to them?”

Geralt closed his eyes. He was tired- so tired. “Another story for your songs? The first person to actually know about the witcher trials?”

Jaskier’s face flickered with hurt, but he quickly schooled it back into concern. “I wouldn’t exploit something that’s actually hurting you.”

Geralt nodded and was quiet for so long that Jaskier sat back, assured that conversation had ceased for the night. When he spoke, Geralt surprised even himself. “There was a...potion that they poured over our eyes. It burned like-I’m not a poet. But it burned. They kept us in the dark while it worked. That’s what I remember. Just...dark and burning and waiting for the screaming to stop. When morning came, I was alive and could see more than I ever had. Many others were not.” He looked up to find Jaskier’s face uncharacteristically hard. It was unfamiliar, and Geralt found it disconcerting. “Truth of it all too much for you?”

Jaskier shook his head. “I’m not disgusted. I’m angry.”

Geralt tilted his head. He couldn’t fathom what about the story would make Jaskier upset at him. Before he could ask, Jaskier clarified, “I’m not angry at you. I’m angry that this was done to you.”

“...why?”

“Because...because they changed your body and somewhere along the way they convinced you that it had changed your mind as well. Who you are.”

Geralt leaned back and tipped his head back, humorless laugh on his lips. “And who am I to you, Jaskier?”

The bard walked closer and framed Geralt’s face with his hands, pulling it back to him. “You, Geralt of Rivia, are the most astonishing person I’ve ever met.” Before Geralt could answer, Jaskier leaned forward and pressed his lips to Geralt’s, gently, but with all the passion he held in his body.

Geralt held tightly to the bard’s waist and pulled him in until he was seated in Geralt’s lap, legs on either side of him. When they pulled apart, Geralt moved his hands to cup Jaskier’s face. He kissed his forehead before resting against him. “If I had my way, I would keep you right here, like this.”

Jaskier chuckled a little breathlessly. “Why?”

Geralt inhaled right at the crook of his shoulder and neck. “Because you’re...good. Good and bright and vulnerable. Here I can keep you safe.”

Jaskier smiled and brushed Geralt’s hair back. “I thought you weren’t a poet.”

“Shut up, bard,” he said before kissing him silent himself. He felt the smile on Jaskier’s lips, tasted sunshine and took in the life that surrounded Jaskier like a breath of fresh air and allowed himself the comfort of home in his arms.

#witcher netflix #geraskier #geralt x jaskier #witcher #the witcher

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aspiestvmusings · 4 years ago

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WV 2: QUESTIONS

The things that were never fully explained or answered on the show.

Some will be answered/revealed in future MCU projects, but some might forever remain a mystery.

QUESTIONS THE SHOW NEVER FULLY ANSWERED FOR ME, SO I “ANSWERED” THEM MYSELF:

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BEEKEEPER:

What happened to the beekeeper from ep 2? Did he become one of the characters on the sitcom? Was he thrown out of the hex like Monica? Did he get erased from existence? Was re has “rewind” aka went back to the sewers & has been looking for a way out ever since? Is it possible that she turned him into a poster in the library...seen when Visions enter the library for their “word battle”? (because this is the only bee reference I’ve noticed & that poster was not there during the ep 2 neighborhood watch meeting, so...) Did he turn into the ice-cream guy in ep 3?

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MISSING PERSON:

Who was the missing witness protection person Jimmy was searching for? Why did he or anyone else mention him again? Did the “sitcom case” take priority or what? Did he see the person on the show, but never mention it..to others/viewers...because he has to keep their identity a secret? Did we never see the person?

Unless it’s random...just to get the story starting, I see three most likely options:

a) Ralph Boehner - he is an actor or his new identity is an actor. Is he a skrull? (people keep saying he cant be the witness protection person, cause the headshot indicates he’s an actor & when you’re “in hiding” you don’t get assigned a cover/alias where you go out & be visible like actors on auditions. But... that headshot was old...of younger “Ralph”, so I’d say still possible & his cover-story is that he was an actor, but failed, and he doesn’t do that anymore)

b) mailman - he seemed sketchy to me til the end. Is he a skrull? Is he the witness?

c) “Vision” or “Wanda” - it was just one of Hayward’s tricks....to have a reason to set up the camp & all that. Hence why Jimmy couldn’t find any info on him...why no-one he contacted knew anything.

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WV DOESN’T EXIST:

What was the “memory loss” of those two cops & the missing persons relatives/associted all about? As Monica put it: why did these others people have no memory of WV or the missing person, but she & Jimmy did? Who & how was controlling those people or why didn’t they remember? (the cops thought the place is EastView, & a place like WestView does not exist. And others thought that the person X from witness protection does not exist even if he was supposed to be their “family member”) Why did some remember & some not? Everyone on the base seemed to be aware of the place, but pehaps it was somehow erased from everyone elses memory and/or existence?

Is it some sort of memory loss? Brainwashing? Wanda’s/someones mind-controlling? Something else? Agatha’s doing? Maybe she erased their memories/made them mix up things when she arrived to the hex & wanted time to investigate on her own before others arrived?

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FIETRO:

Fietro is Ralph, Agnes husband? The house is his, Agatha just took over & made him move to the “man-cave attick”? But who is this Ralph anyway? Does that headshot indicate he’s an actor? And that he was just cast in a role...much like Trevor Slattery was in IM3 (I personally loved that twist...maybe cause I love Ben Kingsley!). But perhaps there is more to him...than just a joke name? Or does he have that headshot cause he’s the witness protection person? Is his cover-story that he’s a failed actor (who has old headshots of himself, but doesn’t act anymore)?

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THE NOSY NEIGHBOUR:

What’s that gonna be like? What will Ralph think of this stranger living in his house, calling him her husband... Did Wanda trap her into the same house & role? Did she cast that spell correctly - will it work after hex is gone (based on her quick learning curve I'd say yes...the made sure the role extended also outside the hex). How will the townspeople react to her? Will they recognize her as an outsider... if she really did come there only after Wanda created the hex? Or are they only mad at Wanda & see Agnes as their hero? Will they remember the events of WV anomaly...or not? Based on Wanda’s promise “no one will bother you”, I’d say everyone will just remember Agatha as the nosy neighbour Agnes & no-one will know/remember seeing her fly & do witchy stuff?

How will that work? Were the peoples memories not wiped, so they know/remember that they saw this person fight Wanda, saw her powers? Will they know she's witch, even if one "locked inside a character"? Will they then see her as their hero, freeing them from Wanda & try to free her from this "punishment"? Is there a witch among them who will try this? Will they go look for someone who could do that? Does the line "no one will bother you" mean that everyone will act as if she is Agnes & that's how it'll work. And where will "Agnes" live? And what will she do?

Will Jimmy & Monica handle that side? Giving her a "fake identity" (Is Agatha the missing witness protection person that no ones ever heard of? And Jimmy's search was a scene cut from the future, trandsported to the past/present?) Cause unless Monica & Jimmy handle that side it's just gonna be weird...a 400-year-old witch with no ID just showing up in a random guys house climing she's the wife & "moving in" just like that...

But...since she seems to known a lot about the book & darkness then I’d say Wanda needs to consult her at some point. Or...since the broach was still part of her outfit...perhaps it serves as a key to help break Wanda’s spell and set her free. Maybe she’ll get help from someone?

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AGATHA’S BROACH:

When Wanda turns Agatha into "Agnes, the nosy neighbour" to play the role...forever, why does she not change her broach/why does the broach not change along with the rest of her outfit? Did she decide to not change it or did something prevent it from doing so? It's the broach Agatha took from her mom (a wicth) after killing her, it's the one she's worn throughout her stay in Westview.

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AGATHA’S ARRIVAL:

IF Agatha told the story correctly & she arrived to WC after Wanda created the hex...cause she sensed the magic, then how did no other witch seem to sense it & why was she able to enter the hex and do it without it altering her mind? Why exactly did the hex not affect Agatha in that way? How Was Agatha able to come there & bring her book with her?

When did she set up the secret witch-cave in the basement? Was it just an illusion...created as a show for Wanda? Or did she do all that during the frist episodes/days? Or was the basement real & already there? In that case...whose house is it & what’s that all about?

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HOW DID AGATHA KNOW SO MUCH ABOUT WANDA?

She seemed to know certain details. Were those all public knowledge (death of her brother, etc) and hence she could access the info? Did she “see” it through Wanda’s dreams & nightmares...that every person in the city was “watching in their heads”? Or did she use some kind of magic or tricks? Or have some ..sources?

Though she seemed to know some details she was also unaware about many others, so...IDK. Possible that she knew of the bits that were public knowledge... from news, newspaper articles...

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THE BUNNY:

Was the purring & insect/bird eating just one of Agatha’s illusions/tricks, or is there more to that cerature? If it wasn’t just your regula pet then my money is on it being a Flerken (Goose...because Scratchy!)...which would make either Agatha and/or Ralph a skrull...in disguise. Or some sort of familiar or scary monster...turned into a bunny by Agatha. Cause no way that’s a regular pet bunny... it eats insects/birds!

PS. The creators have confirmed that there were plans for the rabbit. There was a scene shot that revealed its true identity. The bunny was supposed to turn into a demon. But that scene was cut...for reasons.

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SKRULLS:

OK...we got one more skrull revealed (one of the FBI is a skrull) in WV. We got two in FFH...which happens 8 months from now in MCU. Who else?

But are/were there more...and we just don’t yet?

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MAILMAN/DELIVERY GUY?

What was really up with the pizza-delivery-guy turned into messenger (aka Wanda’s script csting her in several roles & him doing three jobs at once, being always on the move, never getting to rest - mailman, courier, delivery guy...for different companies)

I do not know if the mailman is also Jimmy's witness protection person (a courier/pizza delivery person might be a nice low-key job they would set up for such person?], but it does seem that Wanda cast her in all "delivery" roles. So he was pulling tripple-duty: mailman, courier... so he was exhausted, because he was always delivering something somewhere. Working many jobs at once. But... mostly I think the mailman was one of the chracters on a loop. While the people at the edge of the city were on a short loop...repeating the one move over & over, he seems to have been on a wide range loop. He was circling the town all the time.

But... mostly I think the mailman was one of the chracters on a loop. While the people at the edge of the city were on a short loop...repeating the one move over & over, he seems to have been on a wide range loop. He was circling the town all the time. But mostly, his lines were on the loop. In the final episode he repeats his very first line. Meaning he was fed only like 5 lines of dialogue and after each was used once, he started from the beginning again. This is why he says "Don't shoot, I'm just the messenger" in ep 2 & again in ep 9.

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DOTTIE:

Was Dottie a red herring presented to the viewers in reality & MCU reality? By shows creators for us & by Agatha for Wanda and those watching Wanda’s broadcast? Was Agatha just trying to mess with Wanda, draw direction away from herself by pointing to someone? Cause she claimed Dottie is the key to everything in WV? When she wasnt...based on what we learned. Was she really just used as a misdirection by Agatha...to fool Wanda (and us)?

Based on the Season Finale it seems she was just a misdirection? But perhaps there is a reason that she seemed to be the one & only WV person, who after being freed from the mind-control didn’t attck Wanda right away, but instead tried to “bargain” - she was just asking to be able to hug her daughter. She wasn’t afraid of her like the rest - she even suggested their kids could become friends... She seemed to be the only one of “main cast”, who somewhat understood her. Why? Only other person who did was Monica - other superpowered individual who had just experienced loss & was grieving. Is this was connects Dottie with Wanda? Is this the reason she tries to talk it out first?

I found it kind of interesing & weird that when they identified Phil Jones (the piano guy) as Harold Proctor they did not automatically identify Dottie (the wife, Sarah), too? Cause they put Jones info on the board, but Doddie does not get any identification. Why/How? Did they not think of at first assuming that "couples stay together", so first to check the identified peoples family members? Or did they try to do that, and in some cases it turned out to be not helpfull? Meaning that in some cases couple/familys were not kept together [would not fit Wanda's sitcome fantasy world as perfectly?] I just found it so strange.

I do think the identification data was kept from the board for one reason only... to have that Agnes/Agatha reveal be "surprising" to regular viewers. because comic fans & TV-viewer detectives could sense that twist coing, but regular viewers probably could not.

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DARCY:

Where did Darcy really go at the end? Why did Darcy actually not stick around after hitting Hayward with the car? What is she really doing? Is she one of the people who are actually skrulls? Was she missing in the end just because they tried to keep the cast to minimum, so room for “side characters” cause so mjuch was hapening? Or is there a plot reason?

Yes, this was the result of real-life scheduling issue...due to covid. But...will they also write it in as something more/other in a future MCU project? Claiming she left early for a bigger reason?

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HAYWARD’S PLAN:

What was Hayward & SWORD really up to? In the past few years he'd changed the focus to creating/buiding sentient weapons instead of just observing. What else were they building besides "new vision"? That hangar could fit a whole spaceship or more... And why does it seem that Hayward got his hands on some Stark tech (or something similar), considering the triangular "stark reactor" on his re-built Visions forehead. How did he get his hands on all this tech? Did Stark trust Rhodey, & Firy, who trusted military & Maria & SWORD, and hence certain things were made available to them? And who works for Hayward when they were able to re-build Vision in week (from parts to whole, paintjob done, arc reactor added to head...), cause someone who knows their stuff must work for him. Who, how? Who is the "scientist" who connected that "stark reactor" to re-constructed Vision's head...in a way that it works?

Why do some viewers keep saying that Hayward shooting the kids came out of nowhere, and was like turning the helper to a villain in that moment? Um... can a story really be interpreted in so very different ways or did they miss something? The dude tried to use a "missile" on them already in episode 5! His goal might've been to get Wanda, but the target was not alone. In that specific scene the twins are right by her side.

Hayward is not the good guy, because he planned this all along, he tricked Wanda & the others. He lied about things, he edited footage to manipulate facts. (yes, Wanda did the same with her broadcast, I know & understand). He had his own secret agenda & he manipulated Wanda, using her grief (he admits he knows what state she is in) to manipulate her to bring Vision back online/to life. He put on a show for Wanda & tried to get her to "feel" to get her to use her power to power up his new weapon. When she doesn't do so, he has to find new ways to get her to use her powers to get what he wants. And in doing all this he goes against Sokovia accords & Vision's will.

Sure, part of his behaviour seem to come from fear (about the threats that universe hass seen) & desperation regarding the chaos the world had been past years, but his motivation is made cler pretty early on - he wants that pat on the shoulder from big boss. He will not stop at anything to create a sentient weapon, manipulate info/date...etc. His manipulation directly lead to the hex events - he put those ideas into Wanda’s head...but he was willing to take the risk. Just like with White Vision...he was aware they might not be able to control him (still under our control? yes, still ours) but he wanted his weapon so bad he was willing to risk it...knowing that Wanda’s powers often backfire & cause trouble.

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THE STORK

Who caused the glitches during Wanda's pregnancy & while she was giving birth? Was it Wanda (her subconcious...her losing control of the illusion for a moment)? Was it Agatha trying to mess up things? Was it (partially) the kids already presenting their powers...from the womb? Was it the secret big bad that was never introduced within the show (Agatha's partner/master)?

If we assume that the red she tried to use to make the stork disappear represents her magic then it not working suggests that it was the kids behind it, because she cannot control the kids. (though she probably could't control Agatha's "messing up everything" magic either)

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FOR THE KIDS:

“This is all for the kids...” I do not think this had anything to do with Wanda’s kids. After the finale it seems to me that those chants were all about the kids trapped in their bedrooms... kept away from their loved ones. The kids Wanda put in isolation/quarantine...for the duration of her sitcom (minus letting then out for Halloween..)

The “actors” were just begging her to let them see their kids. They were playing their roles, and doing it all for their kids. Since she didn’t cast any other kids, but everyone asked about chid characters she created two...whote the parts for her twins to enter the story. To me this is confirmed by “Dottie’s” plea to Wanda..

But for Wanda’s mind it translated to a different message, too, because Agatha wanted to plant ideas in her head. So while the “cast” was taling about doing it for their kids, Wanda got the idea of kids of her own thanks to Agatha’s meddling and planting those ideas into her head (she’s like a marketing department... making her buy into the ideas she planted in her head thoughout the show...to write them into next episodes...)

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VISION AT SWORD

How & why was he there, not in Wakanda or some Avengers or Stark facility?

I do think that why he was there makes sense. Vision died in Wakanda during the Thanos Snap battle. Tony was in space then...and would not return for the next 3 months. Bruce & all other Avengers were defeated & the world as a whole was in ruins & in chaos.

IF the Sokovia accords dicdated that the Visions body (vibranium) belongs to US government, then that is how & why he went to SWORD right away. But it is possible that initially he stayed in Wakanda (til Tony's return) or was kept somewhere else. But even though Tony & Avengers were not always agreeing with the government, then SWORD was lead by Monica's mother Maria back then, so it is possible they trusted her, cause Fury trusted her. That's the first reason why it makes sense he wold be kept there.

I do think that since Tony & Avengers considered him as their friend, and "human", and he had a lliving will, and they knew that Wanda was his next of kin, and she had been dusted, then that is why they did not "bury" Vision. It was not their decision. It makes sense they would keep him hidden until Wanda's return, who would give him a proper burial when she'd return. Because the team, together & seprately were all quietly working on solutions how to undo the snap...

Also...since they considered Vision "human", then I dont think any of them wanted to keep his body in ther home or office (why he wasnt in Tony's garage or at the Avengers HQ probably). Because bad guys would probably come looking for the 3 billion dollars worth vibranium there first & they probably did not have the energy to deal with that. Also...they might have decided to not simply bury the vibranium simply because of the worth. Cause they did not want some bad guys dig him up & sell him to parts...for the vibranium.

There are several options why he was at SWORD. But I think it makes more sense that Tony & co did not bury him (not their decision..it was Wanda's & Vision's decision...and we do not know what exactly his will said about that). It also makes perfect sense why they did not keep him at Avengers HQ. Because based on Hayward's comments he wasn't moved there after Endgame battle & destruction of the headquarters, but had been there all this time. I’m prerty sure Tony & co honoured Vision’s wishes not to be brough back to life AND to leave the funeral for the “widow” to arrange...since they all were hoping for & working for the return of the blipped...

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WHAT WAS HAYWARD TRACKING INSIDE THE HEX?

He was tracking Vision & vibranium all along. He might not have known how there was a Vision in the hex, when he had the actual vibranium in his lab, but he saw a Vision, and since 6 million worth of vibranium is better than 3 million worth of vibranium, and 2 sentient weapons is better than one (he probably was not aware that they weren't completely real?). Since Wanda "created" an actual body made of vibranium, wires, blood, bones... it was possible to track it. And I guess Hayward did bring the best to the scene, cause Darcy figured out a way to see inside the hex (discovered the broadcast), but other experts in that "clowncar"seemed to have figured out things, too.

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WHITE! VISION:

What happened to White Vision? Where did he go (when he flew off)? This is the original Vision - the one made of vibranium, a mix of Jarvis + Ultron + Tony + Bruce + other elements....minus teh mind stone. The one Wanda fell in love with. He has the physical body, he has the memories. He had his memories, but could not access the file...until Hex Vision unlocked access to that file & those memories. He remembers everything...up until Thanos. The only part missing is the Mind Stone...but as we learned in A3... he can survive without it, cause theres still a lot of “him” left without it. But he is probably still missing one element...the emotional connection w. Wanda (”soul”), hence I don’t see WV reuniting right away in next fim/project. What is he now? He recognized that he is (a) Vision & he, too, is the real one.

Did all the data coming in at once just overload his operating system & he needed to cool down? Did he go to find answers to Wakanda...where the vibranium in his is from, where he “died”, where he remembers Shuri separating the differents parts of him....to regain the missing bits...)? Did he go on a search for a mind stone? Did he still have that command “destroy Vision & Wanda” on his to do list Hayward gave him...and he went to destroy...himself? Did getting his memories back make him realize that if he wants to re-connect to Wanda, he needs the mindstone? Because while the team theorized in A3 that he can exist without it, I kinda think that Wanda & Vision connected “through” their shared element...the mind stone. I do not know if it has to be physically on his forehead. Maybe the “energy” from the piece inside Wanda will be enough? But...I do think that just like with the disassembled Vision at SWORD Wanda can not feel the White Vision...hence they had him leave, not stick around.

Based on his eyes changing from robot to human after he gets his memories back I’d say he is free of SWORDS control. This is why I think he just went to search for the truth/answers. Because... when Hex Vision wanted answers, he went to look for them from the “outside world” & to do that he had to go past an OCTAGON - the “stop” sign before the hex border. And the Colourless Vision flew through an OCTAGON shaped glass ceiling to get out of there. Hayward said “He really wants out, doesn’t he?” when Hex Vision was trying to break free from Hex & “Wanda’s control” to find answers and to help people. I think this is exactly what this new version of Vision did. And the similar shape as an “exit point” symbolises this. “I want to break free” was the song paying inside his head.

My main guesses are:

a) this Vision either went to Wakanda...where the vibranium his body is made of is from...and where he died... and since Shuri is back after the Blip, he might go for his “scan”... cause Shuri can provide him with more answer on himself. 99%

b) that he followed the command from Hayward & since he know knew who he was (I am Vision), he destroyed himself. He now knows that he is Vision (he realized that he is Vision...which is more than original Vision did. His identity at first was I am...), so he is self aware... 0,1% possibility

c) or other options are that he just needed time to process everything and/or his returned memories told him he must leave Wanda time to go through some things... Too much data process at once, system overload...when Hex Vision overflooded him with all the memories...

I am still unsure how to read the moment where Hex Vision awakens White Vision... was he just giving him access to the secret memory dat/files or was he also trnsfering his own memories with Wanda/his soul into the version he knew would remain while he would be gone?

But if we are to believe that just like we the MVU universe doesn’t know about him until months later (Spidey 3, Dr. Strange 2), then most likely answer is Wakanda.

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THE TWINS:

What is the origin of Wanda’s kids really? We saw that she actually did create vibranium for Hex Vision’s body. Cause the two Vision were equal in every way & SWORD tracked two vibranium objects, so...he is a copy of the original in a way. So she can create things from “nothing” (unless it’s actually not nothing, and she’s pulling the materilas from somewhere or something... cause even in MCU laws of physics should exists/apply?) So did she create the kids from “nothing”? Or are the kids real in a way that 50% of their origin comes from Vision. We know Vision can take human form. We know this Hex Version had maybe even more human in him (of blood and bone) than original? And...we saw Vision CRY. He can cry, so if he is able to produce tears...whose to say he can’t produce other bodily fluids? To get technical about it. Maybe in this fictional superhero world things that are impossible in real world aren’t so? Maybe “robots” can evolve to be able to actually have offspring...even if said robots themselves are confused about how that’s possible (ep 3)?

But...then we have Wanda thanking the kids for choosing her as their mom & that post end scredits scene with SW reading the darkhold & hearing her kids cal her for help. Was it her memory? Was is a dream? Were they actually calling for her help..cause they’re stuck..somewhere (other dimension?) This, along with all the devil/nightmare etc references throughout WV seems to hint towards the MCU taking more than just loose idea from the comics. Maybe Wanda did...knowingly or unknowingly use "Devil’s” soul to create her kids? Cause... Fietro was under Agatha’s control, and she knows the history, so why would Fietro make those “demon spawn” references otherwise? I’m thinking the MCU & MOM might go that route...that this is how they were created...

But... I do think that even if this is the route MCU takes (copying comics), the end scene of WV showed something very important. Wanda, Vision, Billy, Tommy...they became a family. And if they are not actually biological offspring of Wanda & Vision, then that end scene showed us exactly what makes a family, and a parent. Who did the kids call mom & dad? = Wanda & Vision. Because these are the two people, who are their parents, because biology doesn’t make one a parent.

And we saw Wanda seeing what a wonderful dad Vision was. From the “proud Papay-a” joke...til the “I’m proud of you” & good night kiss... His journey was complete - he was experiencing the loss of loved one (throwback to their old conversation on grief)

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THE TWINS - POST CREDITS:

Where are the kids? What did Wanda hear in the end credits scene? Is it her nightmare? Is it her “imagination”? Is it real & the boys are “trapped” somewhere & actually calling for her & she can sense them...from another place & time (whoi took them & where are they in that case)? Is she trying to bring them back/re-create them...but this time without the restrictions of the hex (get the spell right, not cast a flawed one that had limitations)

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HEX! VISION - FATE:

If the boys are “alive” then what happened to the Hex Vision? Does he, too, exist somewhere is some form? Is he trapped somewhere, too? Or...is he now just a memory...without a physical form (until she re-creates him, again, too...when she’s learned how to do it without flaws like tying his existence to a dome)?

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DR. STRANGE?:

Where was Dr. Strange during the events of WandaVision? If Agatha could sense the hex/spells, then why & how could Strange not? Why was he not there? Why wasn’t he monitoring the situation? Or...if he was (just not shown to us yet) then I hope we get his POV on the situation. Or was Wanda somehow blocking him from sensing the anomaly and/or her? (then we have to wonder how Agatha sensed it or is she sensed it at all..cause how did she enter the hex & remain herself & uncontrolled? - can & does that happen/apply only to “superpowered beings”?) Cause I was surprised that we did not get a direct reference to him (no post credits cameo) considering his role in MCU... And I cannot wait for it to be explained in MOM.

Was he aware of the events? Was he busy with bigger issues and hence didn’t intervene? Did he monitor the situation from afar? Did he not intervene for a purpose (cause he looked further into future when he still had the time stone & knew how it ends etc)..because he needed this to play out..just like he needed Endgame events to play out? Perhaps he was playing the long game, and did not deal with it, because he needed Wanda to become the Scarlet Witch.... a more powerful being that he is? Pehaps he is aware that he needs her on his team to fight aginst a threat he alone cannot win against? So he had to let everything play out as it did...for Wanda to accept her true identity & become SW?

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COTTAGE - END CREDITS:

What is that cottage about? Is it supoosed to be more like Thanos retiring to countryside after “doing the universe a huge favor”? Or more like the end of 2008 Hulk film, when HUlk goes to a cottage in the middle of nowhere to learn to control his power (anger)? Or is it more like a reference to Evil Dead and the cotttage in the forest with a “dark” book inside.

The heroes & villains in superhero stories always end up living in a cottage in the middle of nowhere, kind of “off grid” after “the big event” - Hulk at the end of 2008 Hulk film, Thanos after his Snap, Tony after losing to Thanos, but getting Pepper (and Morgan) back.... and now Wanda after Westview...

Is this supposed to be the mountains from the comics? Is this supposed to be Wandas MCU homeland? Or is this suppsoed to just represent a secluded location where she learns about herself, her abilities, etc?

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WANDA’S AWARENESS:

When did Wanda start to realize what she’d done & when did she become fully aware? This was not fully answered/exlained, but based on everything I’d say the turn happened in ep 3 with birth of twins + mention of reality + throwing the outsider out. Though she censored the broadcast already in ep 2 & she & Vision both started to wonder why they can’t remember things in ep 1 already, I thought that both the plot and the commercials suggested the turn happened then. She loses control of some of the things as the birth takes a lot of energy from her. Then she hears a reference to past & reality, and that awakens her. But I think that only after she looks at her hands in a “what have I done” way when she sees the destruction after throwing Monica out does she start putting the picture together...that she did this.

But...she does not understand or know the real effect of it on the people, and the ramification of her actions until that moment in the town square in ep 9 when Agnes has freed the cast from her mind control. Her eyes are opened to the truth only then. And the moment the truth hits her...she takes action: first she attacks herself for what she did (but since everyone feels everything she feels then by choking herself she is also choking everyone else) & she starts tearing the hex down. First attempt is interrupted...for reasons. But she sets things right: she can’t take it back, but she can stop it from going on. Even if it’s not a happy ending for everyone. For people of WV it’s just like a bad dream..when it’s over they realize none of it was real. But for her & her family.... it’s not that kind of a show (with happy ending).

She goes through the stages of grief with her take on the sitcom reality: first denial, then anger & bargaining, and in the end acceptance.

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WANDA - MoM:

What this story told us is that Wanda is a fast learner. And though she doesn’t have an actual teacher/guide, she learns “on the move”. Agatha reveals her secrets & trade secrets to Wanda by bragging about her knowledge & tricks... which Wanda quickly learns to use against her,

I am still unsure if they’ll go "Wanda becomes evil” or “Wanda chooses to be good” route. Will her story copy Agatha’s or will she do as she said she’ll do... that she is not like Agatha. Her mom realized she cannot be good. But Hex Vision knew she can be good & even tells her “Be good” in ep 6. And she herself, after realizing the damage she’s causing, immediately tries to fix it (taking the hex down when she is told her pain is hurting others) I can still see it going either way.

I’m not sure if she as a fast learner will be able to fight the darkness or if her maternal instinct will make her make rash decisions. Will she attempt to help her kids & cause another “accident” & hence Dr. Strange must come to save the day? Or...will she turn to him for help/he will offer his help to her? But either way...seems that MOM plot will be linked to her trying to save her kids from whereever they are trapped/bringing them back...safely (remember: Agnes hinted that there was a way to bring Vision & Kids to life in a safe way...without making their existance dependant of the hex....she will try to find out what that way is.

I kind hope she will be good... not turn full villain. Because... her origins story and whole storyarc, to me, seems done so similarly to Tony. Both considered threats & villains by many - govermńments, civilians...who they’ve unintentionally hurt. Both journeys strongly connected to loss & grief. Both carrying the weight of the world on their shoulders. Tony turned his life around when he became aware of the concequences of his actions...even if he still made mistakes on the way... and I think they’re gonna go similar route with “Wanda”

But I think her role in MoM depends mainly on one thing - if MCU/Feige considers the TV show to be part of the full story, or separate. If it’s part, then IMO she won’t be the villain. definitely not intentional, and possibly even not unintentional (cause that’d be having her go through the exact same arc she did in WV). And I hope they dont follow the comics story here in detail, because that’s not surprising. If they’ll do what happened in comics after she “lost her kids”, then we know exactly whats gonna happen, but I expect to be surprised. And since MCU likes to do their own twist on the stories, not copy everything exactly as in comics, I hope we get a surprise twist here, too. Cause I’d be more impressed if they kept her on “learning to understand & control her new abilities to not make the mistakes shes made in past” route instead of repeting the same mistakes she’s already made (letting a villain mislead her).

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MAKE HEX SMALLER?

Why did Wanda not leave a small hex around her family & the house...keeping the fake reality up? At least until she figured out a way to keep them alive outside?

I am not 100% sure I understood why that was. But I believe it was explained with two things mainly: Agatha’s lesson on magic that explained some things & the fear of outsiders. Agatha told her that the fake reality she created was & would always be broken & one a spell is cast it cannot be changed, so the only way was to “undo it”, because “changing” was not an option.

And secondly...next outside force like Hayward would come & try to get their hands on her creation - the millions of worth vibranium, the superpowered individuals they could turn into weapons. And..she also knew that their happy home could not be there anymore, because in the eyes of WV people she/they were the evil, so they’d turn on the mini-hex.

Also...though she created Vision & the twins (whether in their fake reality the boys were created "naturally” or she used some kind of magic... is irrelevant here) she cannot control them - they were separate of her since start, and had free will. They would not stay inside the hex & fake reality...they would search for way out... for example, because they were looking for answers...beyond the world they were restrained to...

Sure, it seemed that when Agatha freed the townspeople from Wanda’s control during the final battle & the hex was still up, they were free of her control, so it kinda seems it would’ve been possible to untangle the hex & mindcontrolling of the people from the rest? But...IDK...

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WANDA = “HERO OR VILLAIN”?

I think that this is another philosophical question...just like “which ship is the real one” & “which Vision is the true one?”. There is no one singular answer here. She is made of chaos AND order. She, like every human has good & bad in her. And I think seeing her as only/just either 100%r good or 100% bad means not looking at the whole picture. There is no singular “answer” here...for none of the characters.

I think Vision was able to explain it the best to us...throughout the series. She did not intend to do this, she was not aware of doing it, and it all being subconsious...but despite that what she was doing was wrong.

The people of WV see her as evil/villain. Should they? Shoud they fear her? How & Why was no-one beside Monica able to empathize with her? Has none of them lost anyone? Was the mind-controlling worse than anything other they’ve experiences in their lives? Why did they UNINOMOUSLY turn against her? For them it was a week of “pain”, and there was an end to it.

I can understand & “empathize” with both Wanda & people of WV. Both have suffered & been hurting.

What she did was wrong. The people should not just forgive her right then & there and move on ike it was nothing. But if this was the final push for her to start to understand her power, then good can come of it. What happened is simply because she did not understand or know how to control her powers. She did not anticipate that by simply crying or “feeling sad” she can change reality. That her feelings affect reality essentially. Normal people when grieving sometimes lash out on people around them...she cannot do that....cause when she does it “imprisons” peoples minds and makes them her puppets...without her knowing this happens....basically.

After she became aware of it, partly, she kept the freality intact for a few reasons: she had to grant him his final wish...to grow old together, she had to finish the script/story. No one else mourned Vision, no one else “cared”. Secondly...she was not fully aware of what it did to the cast of her show (it only become obvious to her at the end). And thirdly...as Monica said: theres no knowing what will happen if they make rash decisions (what will happen to those inside & those outside the hex)...Wanda probably didn’t know either.

IF they make her the villain, then how about this twist (not following comics) - why not make her NIGHTMARE? Because it’s “her thing”...she intentionally or intentionally gives people nightmares. Others can feel her feelings & see her nightmares... Just use the name, but change the villain.

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WHY DID WANDA “RUN & HIDE”?

It’s the same reason why IMO she can’t just keep the hex intact just around their dream house...because there will always be another Hayward. Another government and/or villain, who wants to use Vision and/or her (superpowered individuals) as weapons, etc.

Especially now, when Tony is not alive anymore, and the Avengers have been “disbanded”, she could not stay & be used as a “weapon”. So she fleed, and set up her own quarantine stacation. And I truly believe that her plan was to learn to understand her powers first. She did the only thing that would not hurt innocent bystanders... she removed herself from the world. Cause her powers aren’t contained by prison walls. And until she learnbs to understand & control them being on trial or prison might make her feel strongly gain and accidentally cause the next hex event. To avoid that happening she must learn to control the powers first...

But I do believe that either unintentionally or intentionally (cause she tries to take shortcut to get her kids back) she makes mistakes along the way. The book “overpowers” her or something... That is a possibility.

To draw parallels to our real world.... I know families who have been separated because of the current state of world and who have not been in the same house, city, country or even continent...for months. Separated by “quarantine”.

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AGATHA’S HOUSE:

As Billy noted in 1x07 Agatha's house is quiet & Agatha herself is quiet on the inside...meaning he cannot hear her, he cannot read her mind inside the house. And he likes being in there because elsewhere it's "noisy" (in his head...as he can read minds). We know that Wanda cannot read Agatha's thoughts & cannot control her...like she does with other WV people, but it's never explained how or why. And as Fietro/Ralph notes in 1x09 to Monica - no-one can hear her screaming... from inside the house...and I think it applies to the whole house not just to the "soundproof" man-cave.

Meaning...he is aware that the house if protected from the outside. But how & why is that? How did Agatha protect the house from Wanda's spell/hex? How does that all work? How was she able to presumably enter the hex (without being changed), and create a space free of the spell within the spell? How did her book help her accomplish this?

AGATHA’S BASEMENT:

Speaking of the house... why is there a safe room (man cave) in the attick? And a witch cave in the basement? Did Agatha create both environments or were they there when she moved in? Whose hosue is this really & why are there weird rooms in there? If this is Ralph's house then why does he have those places in his house? And what happens to Agatha's items after hex goes down? (the witch books, the rabbit..)

I do not fully understand these comics themes like magic and such. So I don't fully understand what the show is telling (this fantastical magic is a myth, not science-based to me) But...if we assume that Agatha told the truth when she said that once cast, a spell cannot be broken then, then that still does not mean that other magic cannot happen within the hex. All the powered characters proved that - Wanda & Agnes were both able to add or change things within the hex. So this is how & why Agatha was able to put her own spell on Ralph/Fietro, and their house. This is how & why Wanda could expand the hex. It didn't erase the original spells code errors, it just added more code to the spell.

It just did not change the original spell where she re-created Vision, and tied his existence to the hex...which became the stage for their sitcom. It didn’t affect the spell connecting the existence of her family to mind-controlling the “cast” into playing the roles written for them.

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IT WAS AGATHA ALL ALONG:

No, I'm not looking into the things she messed up during Wanda's sitcom filming. Instead I am looking into the similarities & differences between Agatha & Wanda. And whether Agatha is the "bad guy" or the "more neutral teacher". Cause their stories are similar, it's obvious they made them similar in many ways. In 1693 Agatha has gone & misused her powers because she doesn't understand them enough (it's left unclear if on purpose or by accident). This is essentially what Wanda does in 2023. Agatha's own mother does not believe she can be(come) good. Wanda's guide in all things (her moral concience) Vision never loses his faith in her and that even though she has misused her powers she must not have meant it, and that she can fix it ("Be good, Wanda.") Agatha, on the other hand, seems to urge her to use her chaotic powers...which, as we know, she knows all about...so she knows the issues that come along with them.

So while in many ways she's been a teacher, and a guide, and a (grief) concellour to her during the hex, it does seem that she has only taken those roles for self gain. She is after the power, because that is how she becomes more powerful, and because she thinks she is more deserving of it that her/others. Even after she finds out that Wanda is destined to become the Scarlett Witch she manipulates her into using her magic. Her main motivator is left unclear - does she want Wanda to use her power and bring on the chaos the prohecy in the book says OR if she wants to become the SW herself. We saw that in 1693 her own mother was about the receive a "witch crown", but Agatha drained her of her power...yet not receiving a crown herself. Now history repeats itself. She sees yet another witch get the crown instead of her.

And part of me thinks that one part of her motivation is jealousy of these others being chosen insted of her. Though at the same time there are also references about her being just a messenger - doing the simple work for someone else (either she's a willing partner, being "blackmailled" into doing so, or used without her knowledge). She seems to want to avoid Wanda making her mistake of using powers beyond her knowledge...not repeating her mistake. She also seems to envy her cause what has taken her centuries to learn through hard work, she can do without even trying. And she also seems to at times "grieve" and want to bring someone important to her back to life, too. I get so many different and a bit conflicting readings from her. I am still unsure what her real motivation and plans are. Or what role she really played.

Her plan is to "steal" Wanda's power. That's her goal since the start. But...first she must learn more about what it is she's encountered. Who is Wanda, what her powers are about, and so on. This is why she meddles with the sicom. She is doing everything she can to make Wanda use/show her powers. She also sets the snowball rolling on the kids theme. For an undisclosed reason she needs to know what powers Wanda has, and if she can create things/life from nothing, and/or bring back the dead. This is why she reads her the women's magazine article & manipulates her to think about kids (the seduction techniques article, making Dottie & everyone chant "for the kids"). She, for whatever reason, wants Wanda to show her powers, and create life/kids. We're left to assume she needs to see them grow up fast, too. She kills the dog just to see if the kids will age themselves up again and to see if Wanda can/will bring back the dead. We can assume why she wants all this, but the real reason/plan is never revealed to us.

Agatha promises a solution - how to fix the hex, and she knows Wanda is easily tricked, because of her denial & state of mind. She misleads Wanda, because unlike Wanda she knows there is no fix, because "once cast a spell cannot be changed/fixed". Agatha's behaviour is strange. At times it seems she made these mistakes herself, and is now trying to guide Wanda, to not repeat her mistake. Though for some reason she also does not explain what it is that she did, or why & how to not epeat her mistakes (in using magic you've not mastered yet) Agatha is just like a vampire, but instead of blood she feeds on others powers. I though that in a way Billy & Tommy discussing if Uncle P. was a vampire can be considered a litte funny nod to this idea. Because she is essentially a "power-draining vampire"

Agatha was behind many of the things happening inside the hex (which itself was created by Wanda). She manipulated events to keep it going longer. She kept hinting at kids so that Wanda would create them. She "started rumours" (hinting at Dottie being the key, Monica being outsider), making Wanda question Monica, etc. She came up with tricks to make Vision more suspicious. She did everything she could to separate Wanda from others (divide & concour) - she sent Vision to look for answer from beyond (The Truth Is Out There! such a Mulder thing) She had her kick Monica out. She "hypnotized" Ralph & used him as a pupet. When everything else failed, she kidnapped her kids, and then trapped her in the basement where her powers wouldn't work. PS. The fact that Wanda fell for such trick (a villain using her mother instincts and her kids to trap her) is why I am not entirely sure that fan theories about MoM are correct. Would she let another villain trick her again...even if the Darkhold makes its reader "mad" & hence not logical at all...

Also, I'm thinking it was Agatha who deleted the cops memories of Westview (if we assume she really did come from outside the hex then it makes sense she "met" the cops who came to investigate...)

I do think that Agatha's mother was correct - she is not good. Maybe she let the Darkhold compromise her, maybe she just chooses to be not good, because no-one saw her as such, so she started not just seeing herself as "not good"; but became such way. She discovered the hex and she (unlike Wanda, the SWORD team, Vision, townspeople) knew what had happened since the moment she arrived, yet she shared the info with no-one & didn't try to help anyone...because she had her own agenda. She constantly kept messing with the hex & events, which lead to more hurting to people. She caused the rift between Wanda & others, she made Vision go looking for answer, which lead to Wanda expanding the hex. This was Agatha's goal all along. She needed her to use her magic as much as possible, to show her what she can do, to give her evidence on who she is & what she can do (how she did this, how she was able to do this). None of it was cause she really cared for the townspeople, or Wanda, or her family. She's the bad guy...with a few good sides. But mostöy she helped because it advanced her own plan & end goal (get more magic for herself, become more powerful by making those she deemed unworthy powerless)

IMO her goal was not really to get Wanda to the moment when she lets everyone go & frees everyone and ends the “torture”, but to get what she herself was after. It doesn’t seem that she did the “therapy” sessions and all with the intentions of the townspeoples wellbeing in mind. Though she and her motives remained unclear, it seems that she did...all of the things she did...for her own personal gain. Cause how dare some baby witch with no training or studies do better than her...someone who has had to spend centuries studying to achieve even a fraction of what Wanda can do without any effort?

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RALPH:

It seems that this house is Ralph's house, because the bills are in his name (with water/eletricity usage going way up just recently...after long low numbers...suggesting that the house was unhabited...so he was dusted & just came back). But what's up with the house? Why would he need a man cave like that, when Agnes is not really his wife & he is actualy the only person living in that house...until hex? And why does he have that weird basement? Who is he really? And what's his story really? [Or was the basement an illusion Agatha showed Wanda & it doesn't really look like this?]

And if that's his real name, why laugh at it? Something is definitely up with "Ralph". Is he the witness protection person & that was his file...for him to learn his new identity, and not a reference that he's an actor and that's his headshot? And his powers were never explained. We're left to just assume that Agatha gave him the ability through the necklace. But we've never actually told if she can do that kind of magic. That's why I don't think he's just a random Ralph. But I don't also think he's "from multiverse". Though it is stil possible...

There are things that suggest he's the witness protection person. And then there are things that speak against it. The funny name (or...is he an adult film actor, and hence the name?), the strange safe room in the house (unless Agatha created it & moved him there & soundproofed it, then it was already there...). The overdue waterbill (with spikes on usage in Feb & Sept-Oct 2020?...when i's supposed to be around Oct-Nov 2023...) seem also interesting. If the wrong year is an error from props, then ok. But if it's not, then this guy just took over some guys house & identity who used to live there..until 3 years ago... around the time SWORD changed their meaning...

I do think that unless they're trying to double-trick everyone & a reveal is coming in further future that he was actually the other Pietro, it's most likely that he isn't & was never meant to be. But I also think there's more to him than just some random Ralph, whose house Agatha took over just because it was next to the one Wanda created. I do think the name might be the directors nod to a character on a tv sitcom he used to be part of the cast (creators love to add little nods to people & things they know & like into their works). But putting his name + Agatha's bunny + her comment that there's no taming Agnes comments together... that's a tripple adult joke...

And, untimately, I think this character being just Ralph was supposed to be about the viewers going through the same experience as Wanda. Wanda is pretty messed up, so when a stranger shows up to her door, and claims to be her brother, she at first embraces it. Because she really wants it to be true. But slowly logic takes over, and she becomes suspicious, and questions the actual truth. For Wanda he kinda looks similar, and he has the brothers abilities. So she accepts the lie as the truth...for a second (they did the same with White Vision in ep 9...when for a moment she thought it's her Vision...because she wanted it to be true..so badly). I do think that this was one of the reasons behind this character. I do think that within this show it was always supposed to be about the veiwers being confused together with Wanda. Which...does not mean there's not more to him that'll be explored in the future. And they might still turn it into a multiverse plot twist, but for now, I think it worked the way it did. Especially since they did leave it open with all the little weird details (laughing at his own name, etc)

And it worked...we, like Wanda, wanted to believe “the lie” so badly that we convinced ourselves into believing he is Fox Quicksilver. This is why I personally loved this reveal. And I don’t get the upset. Because this works so much better with the shows theme. It shows how powerful “suggestion” is, and how easy it is to trick the human mind.

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AGATHA’S ACTIONS:

If Agatha is able to free everyone from Wanda’s spell (as demonstrated in the finale), then why didn’t she do it sooner/right away?

Is it cause she didn’t fully understand what was going on soon enough? We know that Vision didn’t free everyone right away after ep 5 was because freeing them meant causing them feel pain, and Vision is all good. But what’s Agatha’s excuse/explanation? If she considers Wanda’s mind-control as wrong, then why did she not help the people if she could? Because she had her own agenda...she needed her to keep up the illusion in order to get what she wanted. And she was doing it all knowingly.

Agatha has no right to judge Wanda here. Vision & Monica do/have. People of WV can. The damage Wanda caused was an accidental byproduct of her grief (when she cries everyone feels it & cries..without her knowing...she can’t affect others emotions), but Agatha planned everything with full knowedge of what she was doing. She is the villain who seems to have good intentions. Wanda is the hero, who seems to have bad intentions. One lead by good, other by evil.

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WANDA VS MONICA/"GERALDINE"

I think that the reason Wanda seems to be hostile towards Monica, while she seems to be determined to help her at any cost (to herself) is all about reality vs hex-ality. If you pay attention then the moments that "anger" Wanda during this sitcom freality are the ones where something from actual reality gets through to her freality. Jimmy's radio message in ep 2. The beekeeper in ep 2. Mention of Ultron in ep 3. The drones. Since Monica represents the reality that is ruining her fake reality, does not fit in, is a deviation from her script, then she is trying to edit it out. Monica is trying to connect to Wanda because of the grief connection (she has similar experience due to what happened with her mom & the blip). Wanda is also probably not completety sure she isn't on the same team as Hayward is. She might focus her anger towards her cause in her mind she represents SWORD.

Also...some bits are making me think that Wanda sensed that there was an outsider in her dream-world. That there was an enemy among her neighbours/friends. But...she either could not identify them, or Agatha mis-directed the suspicion at others on purpose, making her mis-identify the threat. Cause what Wanda tells Geraldine before she kicks her out is actually, in reality, applies to Agatha.

Also...from production POV...the reason they had Wanda physically attack Monica, and not others is because shes the only "random" person with powers. So she's a worthy match. And they used this to set up her powers, and showcase them. Once it was decided Monica was part of the shows story, and she'd get her powers, that was it. She had to exit the hex (2x enter + 1x exit), and Wanda is basically the only one who could make that happen (throw someone out). So from that POV it was just a means to an end. The ep 7 fight was to show us & Wanda more of her powers.

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THE STATE OF WESTVIEW:

Did Wanda see WestView as being in ruins & people all alone & sad when she was driving through the city becase of her own mental state (when she arrive there)? Was she projecting her own feeling to others & hence saw her own feelings in others? And in reality the city was not in the state she saw it? Because based on the finale the people of WV did not seem as sad & city as much in ruins as it looked to her? Did she accidentally project her feeling on others...for real? Is this what happened?

When the hex goes down the city is still “rusty” (boarded up houses, no shine), but the people might not have been as un happy as she perceived? We won’t know...

Was her perception accurate or incorrect? Not answered, really...

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THE AEROSPACE ENGINEER?

Though it seems that the engineer friend was the lady she met up with, who brough Monica the vehicle to enter the hex, I am still a bit unsure about her not being just the messenger, because Monica originally says “guy”...which kinda hints towards a male. So that, to me, was also left a bit open ended...

JIMMY’S FRIEND CLIFF?

Who is this other FBI agent Ciff who Jimmy calls to help. Who is this? I don’t think it’s anyone important. I just think that this is yet another meta joke. He is calling Cliff Hanger. #Cliffhanger lol

THE END

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