#by discussion i mean going into the conversation w the goal of reaching an understanding

[constantvariations]

Why Some People Don't Like Jaune Arc

I've seen some folk confused about the dislike towards Jaune, such as @the-sapphic-raven and @foxgirltail so I thought I'd compile all the reasons (that I can remember without a whole-ass rewatch) in a single post. For the most part, it's not the character himself that earns ire but the way he's used

Volume One

All the goodwill Jaune built up by being sweet towards Ruby is immediately soured by his chauvinistic attitude towards Weiss and his dismissal of Pyrrha, a strange choice given this is supposed to be a progressive society/show. And Pyrrha, the prodigy of the entire school, is somehow into being treated like dirt

There's also the matter of his sneaking into a school dedicated to protecting people from man-eating monsters despite the fact that Jaune had negative skills (while somehow being from a long line of warriors). It makes for good story, but it's also an incredibly selfish and dangerous decision that put people, most directly his teammates, at risk due to his inexperience. This would've been smoothed over had he actually been proactive, but instead he sleeps in class and Pyrrha has to take initiative in training him

The biggest problem comes in the "Jaune Arc" where his generic bullying plot not only overshadows the anti-faunus attitude, not only comes before Blake or Yang get an arc, but takes up an entire twenty-five percent of the first season. That was a whole month of Jaune instead of RWBY back in the days of release

Volume Two

Once again, Jaune has a disproportionate amount of time dedicated to him but this time he's joined by Neptune so we can have a love triangle between these two and Weiss. Given that Jaune and Neptune are voiced by Luna and Shawcross, the writers who, yknow, write Weiss's every word and action, this comes off as super creepy. Additionally, he pursues Weiss despite her multiple unambiguous rejections, and the narrative is clearly on his side. And then, after learning that Neptune turned down Weiss - something well within his right to do - Jaune gets pissy and confronts him with language objectifying Weiss as some sort of possession and forces Neptune to reveal something he's obviously very ashamed about

There's also the man-in-a-dress "joke" that shouldn't be considered a joke in a gender-equal society, but that's simply more bad writing choices with Jaune as the victim

Volume Three

There's not as much here since Jaune plays more of a supporting role to Pyrrha, which is where he really shines as a character. There's that bit during the Vytal Festival with the team name shenanigans throwing off the scene's rhythm, but it's more of an annoyance than anything else

But then after Pyrrha sends him away, instead of calling Glynda like he'd been about to do or any authority, he calls Ruby and breaks his phone before calling anyone else. Grief does make people do stupid things, but this is goes beyond that. This was a choice of the writers to refuse Pyrrha backup so she could die, leading into the most consistent complaint of Jaune in all subsequent volumes: trauma hogging

Volume Four

While Ruby, Ren, and Nora get only outfit changes, Jaune gets upgrades to both his armor and weapon using Pyrrha's crown and sash. This is pretty blatant favoritism since Ren and Nora don't get anything of hers to symbolize their connection to Pyrrha despite them also being teammates and friends. This trauma favoritism continues when Ruby wakes from a nightmare about Pyrrha only for the scene to be about Jaune's feelings. We never come back to Ruby's trauma (unless you want to count that one talk with Oscar in V5, which still isn't great) and Ren/Nora are completely passed over

Then in the Nuckleavee fight, instead of Ruby being the one to rescue Qrow from oncoming attack because she's got the speed and that's her uncle, it's Jaune who saves the day. It's Jaune who gets that silent handgrab with Qrow, which means nothing because these two don't really know each other but would mean a wealth of things had it been Ruby instead

Also, the sword sword "upgrade." It's not Jaune's fault that it's poorly designed, I'm just legally obligated to say it sucks every time I talk about this fight

Volume Five

When Qrow and Lionheart talk about Raven, Jaune knows she's Yang’s mom despite the two of them sharing maybe 10 words with each other. Yang didn't even tell Blake, her own partner, much about Raven, but for whatever reason she told Jaune? Sus

The climatic fight nerfed everyone, but Weiss and Cinder got special stupid juice specifically so Jaune could be the main character. Cinder spent the last two seasons building up and reinforcing her hatred of Ruby, even agreeing to Raven's alternative plan just for a stab at the kid. Yet her attention during the big fight is solely on Jaune because...? And he goes toe-to-toe with her! She was trained by a professional huntsman for years as a child while Jaune has, what? Maybe a year of training? And she's a Maiden! The deck is so stacked against Jaune it's not even funny

Then to punish him, instead of attacking Ruby - who's entirely preoccupied by Emerald, his very first friend, and the person he crossed continents to follow - Cinder goes after Weiss. His crush. Who conveniently forgot her sword isn't a wand and her glyphs can do just about anything so her aura could be broken

Weiss got fridged so Jaune could discover his semblance. Female empowerment at its finest

(Before anyone tries it, no, I'm not saying Ruby should've been fridged instead. The situation as written is set up so that somebody HAS to be fridged, which is stupid. This could've been revealed in a million ways that didn't involve girls being maimed)

Volume Six

Getting aggressive with Oscar was out of line. I understand (not condone) Qrow being violent because he's been in the game longer than any of the kids and just watched an entire HD powerpoint of Ozpin's lies. Being Oz's spy was essentially his life

Jaune does not have that same depth of investment. One can argue that he was acting on his grief of Pyrrha, but that falls flat when neither Ren or Nora come even close to the same reaction

Once again, Jaune hogs all the Pyrrha-related trauma, even getting a visit from her mom(?) while looking at a giant statue of her (despite the fact that Pyrrha blatantly said in V2 she didn't like being treated like she's above others)

Volume Seven

Jaune hogs the camera for JNR's new landing strategies, his hair is dumb, and grown women fawning over a teenager is gross, but overall Jaune this volume is fantastic. Super swell in his supporting role here and that bit where he compliments Nora after her failed flirting always makes me giggle

Volume Eight

Imma be honest, I don't remember much of V8 and I do not have the time, will, or energy to rewatch it, so I'll just skip to the biggest thing in the volume: Penny's death.

Jaune did not try hard enough to save her. Whereas any other time this trope of mercy killing during combat has been implemented, it's typically done as a reluctant last resort after every other option has been exhausted. Cinder was still preoccupied with Weiss and Jaune's pretty beefy; he could've made a dash for the exit while still healing her

Instead, he boosts her aura for a whole 2 seconds before agreeing to stab her in the heart.

Another fridge for Jaune's collection

Volume Nine

Everyone's fears of Jaune stealing the spotlight once again get confirmed. He gets a legendary role in a story loved world wide, a pedestal only matched by Ruby's weird deified status in the rtx V9 epilogue, which may or may not be canon

Weiss is into him for "being mature" despite never having shown a preference for older men. Not counting villains we have Ozpin, Oobleck, Port, Klein, Qrow, and Ironwood; all of whom could've been used to establish this trait, yet it only comes out with Jaune? Highly suspicious

His relationship with the paper pleasers is incredibly terrible. He has no respect for their culture and treats them like children despite their obvious intelligence. It rings far too closely to missionaries "saving" people, usually of color, in third world countries

Then, when Ruby finally snapped and is venting her frustrations, Jaune cuts in to take his rage out on her. Jaune, at this point, is at least in his mid thirties, so we get a grown ass man yelling at a seventeen year old girl who then runs away, putting her in a vulnerable position that is immediately taken advantage of. Nobody blames him for being upset, but as an adult he now has a responsibility to take care of how he treats people significantly younger than him

Not even an hour after Ruby drinks the tea right in front of them, the entire group hugs Jaune with big, bright smiles. Ruby not once had someone actually comfort her despite her obvious failing mental health, but Jaune gets comforted by both the team and the narrative

Thanks for surviving this far

Feel free to add on, but I'm tired of this being in my drafts so Jaune be upon ye

If y’all disagree with any of the points, I'd love to hear your view and have a nice discussion

[kyouxa]

Diabolik lovers Chaos Lineage: Subaru Sakamaki (Story 10)

In terms of the gameplay: The black choices lead up to a bad ending, the white choices lead up to a good ending. Please no reposting onto other sites, ask me before translating this into another language too! If you enjoy these translations, please consider supporting me on ko-fi.

Monologue

After successfully leaving the cave, Subaru-kun and I were able to safely reach the Scarlet mansion.

Fortunately, we came this far without having to start a fight, and without burdening the already injured Subaru-kun even more. 

But even so, I’m worried.

It’s about how Carla-san and everyone else haven’t noticed us moving here yet.

And then it also worries me that the Scarlet family should surely be aware of outsiders suddenly wandering around their mansion.

But yet none of Scarlet’s members have taken any actions, despite probably knowing we’re approaching them.

Place: Scarlet mansion — Outside

Subaru: ...Doesn’t this... somehow feel weird?

Yui: Yes, we ended up coming here easier than I expected, don’t you think?

Subaru: I thought it wouldn’t be possible for an enemy to get this close to Reiji’s mansion without dying first...

Yui: Shouldn’t we return then?

Subaru: We’ve come this far already, so we can’t turn back now. We will meet Reiji.

Yui: Alright, then let’s try to ring the bell at the entrance. This way we could reveal we’re not enemies. 

Subaru: Well, we can’t hesitate now. —Hm? Hey, be quiet. Someone’s coming out.

Yui: Ah…

*Reiji opens door*

Reiji: Welcome to the Scarlet mansion.

Yui: Reiji-san… !

Reiji: We are honored to welcome you two. Please come inside.

Subaru: …..

Yui: …..

Place: Scarlet mansion — Living room

Reiji: Here, have some tea. With this, you will be able to calm down a bit.

Yui: Thank you, Reiji-san.

Subaru: Hey, why are you serving us tea?

Reiji: Because the two of you appeared rather exhausted after your exile.

Subaru: But we’re supposed to be enemies. You shouldn’t welcome us like this either. What are you scheming?

Reiji: Your movements were merely reported to me by our familiar, which flew around the mansion.

It is just my style to simply treat my guests in a rather polite way. I prefer not to cause any difficulties to begin with.

Subaru: ...So you saw through everything after all.

Reiji: Of course. For example, I am aware that Violet’s members are currently looking for you and Eve , with bloodshot eyes.

Yui: You do, huh… ?

(With bloodshot eyes, he said… seems as if Carla-san is extremely angry)

Subaru: …..

Reiji: What happened there?

Yui: Subaru-kun… if we discuss this with Reiji-san together, maybe he’ll get a better understanding of the situation.

Subaru: Y-Yes.

Say, Reiji. Are you also aiming to become the supreme ruler?

Reiji: Yes, I am. It is part of my assigned mission after all.

Subaru: ...But do you even know why it’s your goal to even become the supreme ruler?

Reiji: What did you just say?

Subaru: I’m just saying that you should probably think of what kind of reason you have for this.

Reiji: You are saying quite ridiculous things. I do not need any reasons for this matter, this is simply one of my living purposes.

Subaru: Cut the crap. You can’t seriously call that a motive, right?

Reiji: As I said, I do not need a reason. Because I am more than assured that I will become the supreme leader.

Subaru: ...Tch. It’s useless.

Yui: (I wonder if anything we just tried to address triggered something in Reiji-san’s memory…)

(What’s another possible trigger other than becoming the next supreme leader?)

Ah, Reiji-san. Shu-san is also part of the Scarlet mansion, isn’t he?

Reiji: Exactly. He is one of my younger brothers.

Yui: Younger, eh… ? Is that really the case though?

Subaru: Say, doesn’t it feel a bit uncomfortable to treat Shu like your younger brother all of the sudden?

Reiji: ...Both of you have only spread quite the nonsense since entering.

May I ask what in the world are you trying to slowly set up with the current conversation we are having?

Yui: …..

Subaru: Reiji, believe what I’ll say now or not, but I’m actually one of your real brothers.

Reiji: Oh? That is a very interesting comment indeed. Why would someone like you, from the Violet family, be associated with me as a younger brother, while I am Scarlet’s leader?

Subaru: Everything’s strange about this situation in the first place. The Scarlet and Violet family, the overload story, Eve, the folklore and everything else.

Literally everything here is full of shit.

We still don’t know the cause, but our memory changed and we’re trying to kill each other in this place.

All of us had these strange memories about wanting to become the supreme leader like you, and we fight for this title for no meaning.

In the end, this is all a big and useless competition for Eve to make one of us the supreme ruler...

But she’s my, you know… my lover! And I can’t and won’t give her to anyone. 

Reiji: I see. However, I highly doubt Carla would approve of this statement. He will most definitely keep on looking for a way to become king.

Subaru: Yeah, you’re right. Carla’s the kind of person to even ask others to find a way for him to become the king.

I even tried to explain to him what I told you now. But he didn’t even try to listen to what I said.

Reiji: No wonder he did not. To be honest, I am also merely listening half-convinced to your current story.

I would not think the hard-headed Carla himself would listen to such a story like I am.

Subaru: …..

Reiji: ...Ah, I see. So that is the reason you both ran away from Carla. And now you have arrived here, right?

Subaru: Yeah. As soon as we told him about it, he insisted on treating us like complete traitors.

Reiji: I understand. So what? In the end, what do you, Subaru, want to do from now?

Subaru: I...

I want to keep on protecting her. That’s why I want you to lend me your strength, Reiji.

I’m sorry to suddenly beg someone else out of pity to help me. But I can’t do anything with my own strength only.

I can’t protect her with just my willpower anymore.

So please, help me. I beg you. I’m unable to do anything without depending on my real brothers here.

Yui: Subaru-kun…

Reiji: …..

If that is so, then please feel free to use this mansion. Let's keep this as a secret between us.

Yui: ...Are you sure!?

Reiji: It is no problem. We will discuss more concrete strategies about this matter from now on in the future. 

Please take a rest here tonight.

Yui: Thank you very much! 

Yay, we did it. Subaru-kun!

Subaru: ...Yes.

Hey, Reiji. Do you really believe in what we said after all?

Reiji: …..

I will prepare a room for you this instant. I promise for you to have a comfortable stay.

Place: Scarlet mansion — Unacoppied room 

Yuma: Here, this is the room. Don’t be sloppy with it.

Yui: We won’t. Thank you, Yuma-kun.

(So Yuma-kun is supposed to be Reiji-san’s younger brother here, right?)

(It’s just so strange to see Yuma-kun act under Reiji-san’s instructions all of the sudden)

Yuma: If something happens, just call out for somebody. Even though it’ll only come to me if something happens. 

Yui: Alright. If something happens, we’ll call for you then, Yuma-kun.

Yuma: Yeah, laters.

*Yuma leaves*

Yui: I’m so happy, Subaru-kun! At least we’re safe here for the time being.

Subaru: Yes, you’re right.

Yui: And it’s all thanks to you, Subaru-kun. Because you were the one persuading Reiji-san.

(On top of that, I’m more than happy about Subaru-kun’s real feelings and how he only wants to protect me)

Even if he doesn’t remember, your brother is still a gentleman as always, right?

Subaru: What the, what’s with that grin?

Yui: It’s because I’m really, really happy that Reiji-san ended up helping us out… 

Subaru: ...Well, I guess I do have to thank him for hiding us.

But don’t let your guard down because of that. We still don’t know if Reiji really believed in our story. 

Yui: Fufu, aren’t you also a bit reassured at the end, can’t you at least say that much?

Subaru: S-Shut up.

Yui: Fufu. I really hope Reiji-san’s memory will come back soon, and then we all could look for clues together to find a way out of here.

Subaru: I hope so too. It would be best to have more manpower anyway.

Yui: Yes…

(And if we don’t have to go against his brothers anymore, it would be the best for all of us. But Subaru-kun…)

For the time being, let’s go to bed already, okay? I know we have a lot to think about, but I’m also worried about the injury you got, Subaru-kun. 

Subaru: Ah? ...Isn’t it a bit too early to go to bed already?

Yui: Eh?

*Subaru gets closer*

Subaru: We’re finally all alone in this long-awaited place. So I guess I can go ahead and touch you a bit.

Yui: (He said that in my ear… !)

W-We can’t do that! No matter how friendly he looked, we still don’t know if Reiji-san is supporting us.

We can’t lose focus now of all time...

Subaru: So you want to say that you don’t want me to spoil you after what happened today?

Yui: T-That’s, um...

(Subaru-kun is so sly… if he says it like that, I don’t want to deny)

Subaru: Heh, your ears turned bright red. I can’t get tired of that face no matter how many times I see it.

But that’s not the case this time.

Yui: (That surprised me! Was he joking just now… ?)

Subaru: We’re still in enemy territory, and this might be our last-minute bet for now. But can we really trust them just like that?

*time passes*

Yui: Are you feeling better? By the way, were you the one who turned off the light?

Subaru: Ah, I’m good.

*door opens and dagger flies*

Subaru: Get down!

Yui: Eh!?

(A dagger suddenly started flying across the room and now sticks in the wall… !)

Subaru: ...Tch, that was close!

Yui: Eh, what!? What’s happening right now!?

Subaru: Damn, he set us up! We have to get out of the window!

Yui: Ehhh… !?

Choices

1) Sudden inability to move (black)

2) Believe in Subaru and run (white) ♡ ♡ ♡

— Sudden inability to move

Yui: (Subaru-kun, why so suddenly… ?)

Subaru: Hey, how long are you going to stand there!? Open the window already!

Yui: B-But… ! Why would I do this so suddenly…

Subaru: Stop uselessly thinking about that! Just believe me and do it quickly!

Yui: ...Y-Yes!

—  Believe in Subaru and run ♡

Subaru: We don’t have time, open the window now!

Yui: (I don’t know what Subaru-kun’s thinking right now)

(But he must have a proper plan if we do this, right?)

...Okay, Subaru-kun!

end Choices

Yui: (But even so… they threw a dagger at us, didn’t they?)

For that kind of thing...

(Did they throw the knife, knowing that we were sleeping there a few moments ago?)

Subaru: Come out, you guys. Stop hiding and face me!

*door opens*

Reiji: There is no way you avoided that hit. I truly admire how fast you acted in this moment.

Shu: I think he only managed to avoid it because the person who threw it sucks.

Kino: Yuma, I told you that you suck at throwing them.

Yuma: It wasn’t even me who threw it. Don’t rub your shit on others!

Yui: (Reiji-san, Shu-san, Yuma-kun and… even that boy they call Kino, are here)

Kino: I guess you’re right. I wonder if my arm became less capable after this long time?

Reiji: And that is precisely why I kept on telling you to keep practicing and not to slack off instead.

Shu: It’s always the moments that count that you’re useless in.

Kino: Meanie! Show at least some respect for me, you two.

Subaru: Hey, you guys. Don’t you have something to say? Didn’t you say you’d not want to trouble your visitors and comfort them instead?

Yuma: There’s no way you’re actually as dumb as you act. Both of you aren’t our guests anymore.

It already made things easier for us that you brought Eve along with you here. Now we just have to take her.

Subaru: So that’s it. In other words, you have the same motive.

Yui: That’s… ! But we believed in you...

Shu: You can’t seriously believe the enemy would let you approach and then voluntarily help you. If you have some grudge against someone, have it against your own stupidity. 

Yuma: Hey, never mind that and hand over Eve already.

If not, we won’t miss next time trying to hit you. 

Subaru: Stop fucking around! Who do you think would listen to you!?

Hey! We don’t have time to think about it anymore. I’ll hold you and then get out of the window, understood?

*lifts her*

Yui: ...Uwah!?

Subaru: Let’s go! Hold on tightly! 

Reiji: Wait right there… ! 

Place: Scarlet mansion — Outside

Yui: ...Kyaa… Ngh!?

Subaru: Shut it! 

*keeps running*

Subaru: We don’t have any other choice but to only think about running away from Reiji for now!

Yui: Yes…

Subaru: ...Fuck, you really can’t trust anyone in here… ! 

Yui: (Subaru-kun looks hurt… but that’s only natural. He was betrayed by someone he thought he could trust after all…)

But you’re not alone, Subaru-kun. I’ll always be by your side, no matter what’s going to happen. 

(This may not be too big of a relief for him now, but I felt as if I had to tell him)

Subaru: ...Yeah, that’s right. As long as I have you with me.

As long as you’re there—

Monologue

We are all alone and without any help in this world.

However, we haven’t yet lost the things most important to each other.

And that’s the only current salvation for us in this crazy world.

[hornyforfictionalpeople]

hi there! i just wanna say that i love your writing and it would make me so happy if you could do a george weasley x ravenclaw!reader smut. just one where it’s both their first time and it’s kinda awkward on both sides but pretty fluffy too. thank you! :)

A Night of Firsts

 A/N: AAAH MY FIRST REQUEST! thank you so much for requesting and you’re too sweet! i did take some creative liberty with this so i hope you don’t mind :) and oml this is my first smut so i’m sorry if it took a bit, i didn’t want it to be pure shit 😅 also i used she/her pronouns but if you were requesting for gender neutral or he/him pronouns please feel free to tell me! i tried looking for any mistakes but i wanted to get this out ASAP. also my requests/inbox are open so please request i pinned the post with my rules on them!

Pairing: George Weasley x ravenclaw!femreader

Warnings: smut (first time between characters) fluff, and a healthy dose of awkward! 😌

You two have been together for a few months, fairly new but the soft caresses and warm snuggles in the dark made it feel longer than that. Every soft kiss that came with sweet promises was true bliss to your ears. Sure you haven’t been together very long and yes no one expected the notorious prankster to get with a more goal-oriented Ravenclaw but so what? You two had it deep for each other, plain and simple. 

You were walking down the halls, deep in thought and making your way to Potions, a class you didn’t want to miss. But very probable detention was the least of your worries, not with this tension between you and George. Now unlike the other squealing, over-sharing girls in your dorm who talked way too loud about their sexual escapades. You had your fair share of kisses, wandering hands that never went below the belt (much to your dismay) but it was uncharted waters, a whole new ordeal you have yet to experience. It’s not that you or George was never in the “mood” per se, but two virgins trying to say they want to “do it” ends with a lot of beating around the bush.

But you have finally had it, this pent up sexual frustration was not helping your ever-working brain. And the constant teasing and jaunts of your fellow dormmates of “Y/N it’s such an experience you’re really missing out” or “Y/N I’ve been with his twin and his was exceptionally sized”. 

But teases aside you had a class to attend, you thought as you sat in your designated seat towards the back of the room where you could see a mop of long ginger hair in the seat beside yours. 

“Hey, darling what’s got your knickers in a twist?” George muttered in your ear as you plopped down in your seat.

“W-what?!” your voice raising an octave with your shock. Red starting to creep around your neck.

“Love are you okay? You walked in and you looked angsty.” George questioned you. 

“N-no I’m fine, really Georgie I am just uh girls in my dorm kept me up all night. Just a bit tired is all.” I mean what else were you supposed to tell your boyfriend, that you were heavily lusting over him and wanted him to finally have sex with you? Not a great conversation starter. “Just shush and eyes up front George, I swear I’m fine.”

“Whatever you say love.” and with that, you opened up your potions textbook, desperately trying to pay attention to the droning tones of Professor Snape.

——————————-

God that was the longest class of my life, you thought as you packed everything into your bookbag. 

“You know love if you’re up for it, we can always skip the next class you look a bit tired.” George suggested, eyes searching your face in worry.

Oh god this is embarrassing, I really can’t hide my thoughts easily it seems, you huffed in thought. “You know what George why not? W-we have something to uh discuss anyways.” you replied absentmindedly.

“We do? What is it? New prank idea? A cool invention that can potentially harm someone? Wait! This isn’t the “I think we should see other people conversation” is it? PleaseY/NwhateverIdidIcanmakeituptoyo- *mpfh*”

“Georgie please stop speculating and running your mouth, we are not breaking up anytime in the foreseeable future okay? So please calm down I’m not talking about that, i-it’s er something else okay?” you hastily explained whilst covering George’s mouth with your hand. “J-just come on.” you stutter out moving your hand from his mouth to now his wrist, tugging him out the classroom and down the corridor to your dorm.

“Okay so what is the secret you’ve been dying to tell me?” George wonders aloud as he jumps onto your bed. “Now come on Y/N spill.”

“I-I think no I uh believe that we should uh you know George uhm we should takethenextstepinourrelationship. AndbesidesI’monthepotionsoIwon’tgetpregnantoranythingyouknow? Oh thank god that was good to get out I’ve been holding that in for far too long.” you rush out all in one breath.

“Y-you mean s-sex?” George questioned, a rapidly deepening bright red settling upon his face.

“I mean yes I’m very ready but I really won’t try anything u-unless you would want to as well of course and I really don’t want to force you into anything really but I mean if say I’m ready and your ready and uh we are ready together-”

“Love,” George says as he rises from the bed to walk next to you and massage your arms - finally understanding, “We can but only if you’re ready alright? Just tell me clearly.” 

“George I really want to.” you softly murmur as his hands start trailing towards your shoulders, curling a tendril of Y/H/C around his finger.

“Okay uhm, this is also my first time so uh if something hurts or you don’t like it just uh t-tell me to stop okay?” he says as he trails soft kisses down your throat, stripping you of your robes and undershirt.

His warm breath was making your skin overheat as he made a path down your body with his lips. Goodness the girls were right, I really was missing out, you thought as George started sucking deep bruises on your clavicle. He tentatively looked up at you as he made his way to your chest and a small nod from you egged him on. His long fingers slipping around your sides to unclasp your bra, slowly removing it from your body so he can commit every expanse of your body to memory. Each curve and soft arch were devoured by his eyes.

Continuing his journey exploring your crevices, he leaned down further towards your breast and cautiously started to feel around, listening for every small moan or quick breath that indicated he was doing something right. Replacing his hands with his mouth, he slowly led a path down your collarbone to the valley of your breasts, littering kisses all over your bust.

Stopping just below your hips, he slowly makes work of your trousers - slowly sliding them down along with your underwear and taking in the gorgeous view beneath him. 

“Goodness darling, you’re stunning.” he murmurs as he leans down all the way positioning himself right at your all ready slick entrance. “I-I’ll just go really slow and uh pinch my wrist if it’s too much, okay love?”

He continues with a nod from you, his movements slow and unsure as he sheathes himself inside of you. Inch by tanalyzingly slow inch, listening for every wince of uncomfort or gasp of pleasure. He stills himself halfway in when he hears your sharp intake of breath.

“Babe you have to loosen up or it will hurt worse okay?” he murmurs softly, stroking your hair in attempt of soothing you. “J-just go in a-all the way. I-It doesn’t hurt that much.”

“Okay love, just breathe.” he answers as he bottoms out in you, filling you to the brim with his length. Heavy, wanting pants escape from the both of you as George experimentally pulls out a little and pushes back in.

Seeing your pleasure in his actions he starts a pace, blissfully pausing every time he presses inside of you. Eye rolling back into your head with each cautious thrust, your fingers tangle in George’s soft hair, wanting to feel any part of him you can.

As he picks up his thrusting, his big hands come to wrap around your waist and up to your chest, carefulling pulling and tweaking each breast with fevor. Both of you in a newly discovered state of euphoria. Bodies tangling together, writhing with sexual content.

Each moan of yours egging George on, closer and closer to both of yours peaks. His hand cautiously moving towards your mound, slowling finding and circling your clit with pure luck. His hips and fingers work harder, desperate to get both you and him to your sweet releases.

Each flick of his fingers, thrust of his hips, and your adamant tugs on his hair makes something snap gloriously within both of you. A flowing stream finally let free as you both reach your highs. Pleasure overwhelming the both of you in waves, twitching legs pulling tighter around each other. Bodies in a thin layer of sweat due and both heads of hair in disarray.

George lands feather-light pecks on your neck as you both come down from your peaks. He slowly hikes you up onto his torso, sinking down under the covers in exhaustion. Holding you tight like a lifeline. Stroking your hair in weary circles, breaths mixing together and softening as your tiredness overcame you.

[ickle-ronniekins]

breaking the rules

request from anon: Your writing is truly amazing!! I just read your fake dating with Georgie and I loved it!! I was wondering you would be up to writing a fake dating piece with Freddie?!☺️

word count: 6.9k sorry i keep getting carried away

A/N: ugh. my heart. i cannot deal. thank you all for being so kind, day after day, with each and every piece i write. and thank you, also, for being so patient. i know it’s taking me a while to sift through these requests. it means the world to me! love you all tons

tag list: @mintlibri @seppys-return-to-madness @how-do-life-does @fopdoodledane @fredd-weasley @iprobablyshipit91 @semmelsemi @cottageoflove @laneygthememequeen @snakesonaplane-7 @lupinsx @keoghans @helloallthethingsilove @bobduncanlover | message me if you’d like to be added lovelies!

“Hey, Y/N! Would you mind, for the sake of the entire team, to not be so bloody brilliant during every single match? You’re making us look bad.”

You smile, clutching the quaffle to your chest as you zoom rapidly through the air, leaving dust in your wake as you fly past the Slytherin team members, leaving them baffled and confused before they can fully register just exactly what’s going on. You hoist the quaffle through the hoop and hear a loud roar from the Gryffindor section; you must be up by a hundred points by now. You see Malfoy near the goal posts on the opposite side, looking positively murderous.

You make your way around the interior of the pitch, only to reply to Fred Weasley as you pass by, “I can try, but—don’t you want to win?”

A hearty laugh escapes his lips, and he’s pummeling bludgers left and right with his twin by his side. He wonders now, watching you, if Gryffindor would be as good as they are without you on the team. You’re probably one of the most talented Chasers Gryffindor has seen in years, he reckons. He knew it the first time he saw you mount a broom in a flying lesson your first year at Hogwarts. Since then, inseparable you two had been.

There’s a light, airy feel to the match, which is, to Fred’s surprise, nothing at all what he had expected this morning, especially with Slytherin being the opponent. But you seem to be more in rhythm with the wavelengths of this match than ever before, to the point where Harry is actually taking his time to try and find the snitch—he’s making Malfoy sweat it out a bit.

But when a nasty bludger smacks the end of your broom and you’re knocked to the ground, landing painfully on your arm, Madam Hooch begins shouting out punishments at the Slytherin beaters, McGonagall is rushing to your side with Madam Pomfrey, and Fred, George, and Harry are nearly kicking Malfoy into the ground when his sickeningly irritating mock laughter floats in the air between them.

— -

“Merlin—is a side effect of drinking too much Skele-Gro that you end up a bottomless pit?” you ask nobody in particular as you continue to shovel eggs, toast, bacon and sausage into your mouth. Next to you, George laughs and pats you on the shoulder.

“Glad to see you’re feeling better,” he tells you.

You peer over and smile—your bones in your arm are fully restored, but still in a sling; Madam Pomfrey had insisted. Across the table, Fred is looking rather sullen indeed.

“Brighten up, would you, Weasley?” you kick him playfully under the table and his stoic face breaks into a toothy smile. He’s feeling rather guilty, he is. Wasn’t able to stop the bludger in time. Neither was George. As if you’re reading his thoughts, you tell him, “It’s not your fault, you know.”

“Yeah,” he replies, stirring his spoon in his cup of tea. A bit too loudly, he continues, “Slimy Slytherin beaters—”

“Easy,” you say in a low voice, as the entirety of the Slytherin Quidditch team glances over at your table, and Fred’s gripping his fork tightly in his other hand. “Don’t need any more of us taken out of the next match, do we?”

Another safety measure of Madam Pomfrey’s. No Quidditch for a few weeks, at least. This means, of course, missing the next match: Gryffindor versus Hufflepuff. You’d tried to fight it, but when her mouth had formed into a thin line and she’d crossed her arms indignantly, you knew there was no changing her mind.

Why is it, Fred thinks to himself now, that Slytherins tend to get away with everything? The punishment of the two beaters was absolutely nothing like he’d expected—one detention each with Snape, who had basically grinned at the sight of your broken arm and shoulder. He’s so bloody tired of it, he wants to give them a taste of their own medicine. Perhaps, if he picks George’s brain, he can think of something—

His thoughts are interrupted when you kick him again under the table. “Hello—earth to Freddie?”

“Sorry,” he replies, biting into his toast, “what did you say?”

“I was saying—” you begin, and Fred notices his twin is now down a few seats talking with Ron and Ginny, leaving you two alone, “would you mind helping me pack up my bag after breakfast? It’s proving rather difficult with one arm since I have this sling across my other shoulder—”

Before you can finish, you both hear a group of Hufflepuffs from the table over discussing something animatedly. Fred catches bits and pieces of the conversation—he swears he hears ‘bludgers’ and ‘poor girl’ quite a few times. Before he knows it, they’re standing up and waltzing over to the Gryffindor table—more specifically, toward you.

“Oh bloody hell,” you mumble under your breath and look at Fred with wide eyes. You don’t need to say anything else for him to understand. Leading the pack of distraught looking Hufflepuffs is—Fred’s least favorite person in the entire world, and that’s including Malfoy—your ex boyfriend.

“Hey, Y/N,” he says awkwardly as he approaches the table at once before you and Fred are able to escape. He looks down at your shoulder and says in a tone Fred can’t decipher as sarcastic or genuine, “real sorry about your arm. Terrible thing those beaters did. Are you okay?”

With a slight eye roll from you and a laugh he tries very hard to suppress, Fred finds himself lost in his thoughts again. He’s transported almost immediately to the common room, to a very late Monday night after a very long detention with Professor McGonagall.

When he sprang through the portrait hole that evening, ready to divulge to you just exactly how he’d landed himself in detention the night you were both supposed to continue your weekly Monday traditions of exploding snap over small glasses of Butterbeer, he was a bit taken aback when he saw you crying in the corner, peering out of a window at the starry night sky. Immediately, his insides turned.

“Y/N?’ he asked when he finally reached you, nervous of how you were going to react to his very late arrival.

You sniffled a bit and wiped your tears away with your shirtsleeve. He felt surprised when you said softly, with no twinge of anger, “W-where’ve you been?”

“I’m so sorry,” he said, sitting across from you on the window ledge. He let his bag fall to his feet with a dull thump. “McGonagall caught Georgie and me right after class—I was dragged to immediate detention without being able to come back to the common room to tell you—I could use a good butterbeer right now..” but his voice trailed off when he noticed that you weren’t really listening. Your eyes were letting tears escape with no effort, and he spotted your hands trembling against your knees. You weren’t upset about the game of exploding snap. His heart sank into his chest when he realized this was something deeper. “Hey,” he said, placing a hand over yours, “are you okay?”

“H-he,” you started, and Fred could tell that you were embarrassed. You couldn’t even look him in the eye. “It’s over. He broke up with me.”

“W..what?” Fred asked, his hands suddenly felt extremely cold. He squeezed your knee and waited.

“He said he.. sees me as a friend,” you told him, and Fred shook his head in utter shock, “he doesn’t.. feel anything a-anymore. I think..” you continued, your voice slightly higher than before, “I think there’s s-someone else.”

You threw your head into your hands and began wailing. Fred had never, ever, ever seen you cry before, but he didn’t like it. He wanted to do everything in his power to make it stop, make you smile, make you happy.

“What a complete git,” he told you before pulling you into his arms. You were nearly on his lap. You rested your head on his chest and let out painful sobs for a few minutes while he thought, in a panicked state, of words to say. You’d always been tough. Independent. Happy-go-lucky. So to see you in this emotional, co-dependent, messy state—he felt strange. Off balance. It made his heart hurt.

“Hey,” he said after a few minutes once your tears seemed to slow, “how about we make you some tea, get you into some comfortable pyjamas, and then we can talk through it—how does that sound?” When he noticed you were about to argue after pointing to the butterbeer and cards on the table even though he knew you didn’t really want to play, he continued, “Nah—not really in the mood to get my arse kicked by you tonight.”

You laughed through a hiccup and squeezed his hand tightly before pulling his arms around you again. “First, can you—can you just stay here with me?”

He felt you tense up beside him and he knew that you were trying your hardest to fight back more tears rising to the surface. He pulled you closer to him and wrapped his arms tighter around you, enclosing you in the warmth from his own body.

“Okay then,” he replied and felt you relax beside him, “I can do that.”

“Maybe we can—we can talk it over.” Fred’s brought back to the present when he feels yet another light blow to his shin from you under the table. He blinks and looks into your eyes, which are wide, and he feels himself go weirdly alert.

“I don’t think so,” you say to your ex now, almost laughing a bit; he’s looking rather annoyed and stunned at being turned down. You swallow over a lump in your throat, “Besides, I’m—I’m seeing someone else, so, I think you’d better leave.”

“What?” he says breathlessly, almost looking heartbroken. Is he trying to mend his ways after watching you hit the ground with a loud splat! a few days ago? Fred’s insides turn. “Since when?”

“Since..a few weeks ago.” Fred can sense the panic in your voice as he watches your eyes shift from your ex to your breakfast plate and to him, a cherry red color flooding your cheeks and the tips of your ears. And without a second thought, you say, “Right, Fred?”

And Fred’s agreeing before he can fully digest your words, he’s nodding without breaking your gaze, he’s smirking at you without remembering there are other people around him. Finally, he looks up into the very baffled face of your ex boyfriend. “Yeah, we are—so—I’d bugger off if I were you, mate.”

“You two?” he asks, looking at Fred with what can only be described as pure anguish. “Together?”

“It’s time to go,” whispers another Hufflepuff, pulling the very distraught looking boy in front of you both back to their table before he can say anything else to you. Fred watches as he slumps in his seat and rubs his head, as if confused. Then, he turns back to you and raises an eyebrow.

“Oh, Freddie, I’m sorry!” you shake your head rather quickly and bring a hand to your mouth in shock. “I panicked, I just—he kept trying to ask me to grab lunch with him, I didn’t know what to say to get him to leave me alone, ‘m so mortified. We can just—pretend it never happened, you don’t have to do anything, I can just deal with whatever it is he has planned, it’s fine—”

“Hey.. take a breath,” he laughs and teases you before reaching across the table and squeezing your hand. “It’s fine, I get it. Besides,” he takes a quick bite of an apple and smirks at you, “I’m honored you chose me to be your fake boyfriend.”

“Well, you’re the only one here, silly.”

He pauses to consider this, and then says, “I’m going to pretend you didn’t say that and tell you again how honored I am.” You laugh at this, and he grins cheekily at you as he continues, “I mean, imagine if you’d done that to George, he would’ve stumbled over his words—you know how he gets under pressure sometimes—gets flabbergasted, he does. You’re lucky ‘m quick on my feet.”

“Well then,” you reply, sipping your tea as Fred watches your nerves subside, “glad to have you along for the ride, Weasley.”

— -

It’s difficult watching the team’s practice. Fred had told you to maybe stay in, not watch, he’d fill you in later on your replacement. You’d insisted on coming anyway. But he was right.

They’re not completely out of sync—the third year Chaser they snatched up is pretty good for never having really played before. But if Fred’s being completely honest, he misses you on the pitch more than anything else. It’s just not the same without you.

You enter the Great Hall for dinner, and you’re so annoyed at doing everything one-armed that you nearly rip the sling right off of your shoulder, even though Madam Pomfrey had insisted on wearing it for two more days. Okay, maybe you did it a little too fast. “Ow,” you say, rotating your shoulder back and forth to stretch the muscles, as if they’d been asleep for months and months. You furrow your brow in pain.

Fred snorts before sipping his pumpkin juice. “How’d that feel?”

“Not the greatest,” you admit, taking a seat next to him.

Just then, he slings an arm around your shoulder and places a light kiss to your forehead, taking you by surprise. You turn to him with a raised eyebrow. He places his cup gingerly on the table. “Git sighting, on your right.”

You stealthily look on the other end of the Great Hall, your ex trying his best to look distracted, but there’s no chance in hell he didn’t see this exchange between you and Fred. Solemnly, he follows his fellow Hufflepuffs from the hall.

You both hadn’t even noticed George, Ron, and Harry take their places beside you at the table, eyes wide and faces flushed.

“When the bloody hell did this happen?” Ron nods at the two of you, shoving pork into his mouth.

“I’d like to think if my two best friends got together, they would’ve at least mentioned it to me—how long have you two been sneaking around?” George teases you with a wink.

Both you and Fred let hearty laughs escape your lips, as if to say, Sneaking around? You’re out of your mind, but instead, you both say, “We’re just faking.”

“Come again?” Ron and Harry chorus together.

“Faking—you know, Ronniekins, pretend.” Ron’s ears turn a bright scarlet color. “Just for fun. Y/N’s lovely ex bombarded her the other day after her injury, kept bugging her to grab a bite with him, so she very politely took me by surprise and told him, before consulting me, that we’re dating. Of course I obliged—being the lovely gent I am.”

“It did not happen like that—”

“You’re absolute rubbish at lying, you know.”

You throw your hands up in surrender, your face a nice light shade of rosy pink. “I panicked!”

“Precisely,” Fred and George say together. “And how long are you two planning on keeping this little scheme going for?” George asks.

You and Fred turn to each other. It is now revealed, Fred realizes as he watches as you peer into space, that you have no plan. He leans back in his seat, looking rather satisfied at the fact that you haven’t come up with any details at all. “I—I hadn’t thought of that. I just kind of.. went for it. I was acting on the very daring nerve that comes with being a Gryffindor!”

“Right you were,” says Fred through a mouthful of potatoes, “barely skipped a beat, she did. Reckon she couldn’t wait for it to happen—she nearly pounced on me right in front of him.”

The boys roar with raucous laughter. You roll your eyes and turn your attention to George, Ron, and Harry, who are now wiping away tears from their eyes. “You don’t really believe him, do you? This will not last long. Believe you me. It was purely a spur-of-the-moment adrenaline rush decision.”

“Hey, Y/N?”

You turn back to Fred and ask in a sweetly sarcastic tone, “Yes, Freddie?”

“I’m invoking a rule. No falling in love with one another.” He winks and bites into his chicken.

You scoff at him, while the others chuckle again. “Ah yes, darling—because that’s so very likely.”

— -

When Fred finds you sitting underneath a large oak tree in front of the castle, he laughs softly when he sees you in quite a frazzled looking state: your hair is in disarray from pulling at it, the bags under your eyes make it look like you haven’t slept in days, and he can almost feel the pain radiating from your tired muscles.

He sits down next to you in the grass and teases, “You’re quite a sight for sore eyes.”

“Oh, shove off,” you reply, not even looking up from your books. But after a few seconds of silence, the two of you fall into fits of laughter.

Fred nods at the books you’re so very immersed in. “What’s so important?”

“D’you think,” you begin, flipping the pages rapidly, “if I can find a spell that can produce a change in thought process on another human being, and somehow manage to stealthily pull it off and use it on Madam Pomfrey, she’ll change her mind and let me play in the next match?”

Fred cocks his head to the side, peering admirably at you, and smiles sweetly. “It doesn’t look very likely.”

“Ugh, I thought you’d say that.”

“But hey—there’s always obliviate,”

“Honestly, it’s getting to the point where I’m actually considering it.”

“Sure,” he says teasingly again, “I’d pay quite a lot of galleons to see you use any type of magic on a staff member, let alone something as dangerous as a memory charm.”

You cross your arms defiantly. “Don’t think I’ll do it?”

“No,” he smirks, “I know you won’t do it.”

You narrow your eyes at him and give in. Fred can’t help but laugh. “Okay, well—it would be really dangerous! But c’mon—I’ve gotten involved in a fair share of mischief with you and your brother; need I remind you of the time you landed me in detention my second year? A mere twelve year old, in detention…”

“Reckon that’s when you put this whole fake boyfriend thing into action, did you? When you fell for me all those years ago?”

“Ha-ha, you’re wickedly hilarious, Freddie.. seriously, funniest bloke I’ve ever met..” Your voice trails off when you notice something a few feet away, but Fred’s still thinking about how you called him the funniest person you know, even if it was in a sarcastic tone. But deep down, he knows you’re completely serious. He can feel his heart begin to soar a bit. His meandering mind is interrupted yet again by someone walking along the water’s edge—an unwanted visitor. Quickly, you shift yourself closer to Fred and say in a hushed voice, “Hurry—put your arm around me!”

He can’t help but stifle a laugh at your extremely flustered state. “Anything for my girl.”

You fit in so comfortably in his body that he doesn’t even notice how much time passes by. You spend the afternoon immersed in books, while Fred is resting against the tree, falling in and out of sleep with breaks to fix some malfunctions on some very small inventions of his and George’s. Each and every time he looks up, he notices the very curious looking ex boyfriend of yours watching you both, as if he’s trying his very hardest to prove that the two of you are just pretending. And each and every time Fred turns his attention back toward his inventions, he finds himself pulling you tighter and tighter into his arms.

— -

You and Fred are walking rather reluctantly through the corridors to your next class. If only you both had a free period, you’d be able to catch up on some work. But alas, here you both are, walking very, very slowly to Defense Against the Dark Arts.

“How’s the team holding up? I’m dying to get back out there with you.”

“Miss me that much, do you?”

You narrow your eyes and the unmistakable sound of mock laughter from Fred bounces off of the walls. “I miss Quidditch is what I mean. It’s killing me that I can’t join you lot—especially with the match just a week away.”

Fred smiles softly at you, feeling a twinge in his heart, knowing that you won’t be able to play, regardless of your completely healed shoulder. “I know. It’s killing us, too. But come the new year, you’ll—oi, bloody hell, does he just spend his time following us around, or something?”

Fred nods in the direction of the unwanted visitor yet again, and he grabs your hand quickly and continues to walk down the corridor, careful to avoid eye contact. That is, until he corners you both.

It’s not in a violent sort of way—but rather, curious. You’re both bracing yourselves for yet another attempt at getting you to rekindle things, when he takes Fred by surprise. “Why is it, Weasley, that whenever I see you two around, you very quickly grab her hand or sling your arm around her shoulder? What is this—just a ploy?”

“Come on,” you say to him softly, and Fred’s feeling very, very nervous that your facial expression will tell your ex everything he needs to know. “Leave us alone, would you? We’ve got class.”

“Prove it to me, then,” he says now, crossing his arms. “If you two’re really together, then kiss her.”

“What?” you both say aloud, flabbergasted. You look at Fred, who’s doing his very best to bite back a smile, and it’s becoming difficult to not laugh in your ex’s face.

He smirks at the both of you, his cronies surrounding him doing the same thing. Fred squares him up, and it’s easy to tower over him, Fred’s 6’3 frame swallowing him nearly whole. “I don’t think that’s such an odd request—kiss your girlfriend, Weasley, and I’ll leave you be.”

It’s obvious to the both of you, now, that he is basically waiting for you all to admit that yes, you’ve been faking, the entire time it hasn’t been real. You open your mouth to speak and Fred notices the panic in your eyes, the truth bubbling up inside you. So he does the only thing he can think of—he wraps his arms tightly around your waist, pulls you close to him, and presses his lips to yours.

You try very, very hard to hold back your surprise, because you’re extremely aware of the group of Hufflepuffs now watching you both share a kiss that is supposed to look like it happens all the time. You’re sure you’ve lost your voice now. His lips are soft, softer than they look, and Fred’s finding it difficult to remember why you two haven’t been doing this the entire time. He pulls away very, very slowly, hovering close to you with a cheeky grin on his face, before breaking completely and taking your hand in his again, squeezing tightly. Fred notices the scarlet color of your face now, turns back toward the stunned man in front of him, and replies, “Is that all? My girlfriend and I have class, if you don’t mind—”

You swiftly walk your way through the group and you and Fred nearly fly down the hallway, his face as red as his hair, his smile as bright as the sun, and you bring your hands to your lips and you swear you can feel the electricity surging through them, just as they had when Fred kissed you just a few seconds ago.

“You were going to tell him!” Fred’s laughing now, outside the entrance to the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom, but he can feel his heart thundering in his chest due to the heat of the moment. There’s nothing quite like an adrenaline rush. You reply, “He—he knows we’re lying!”

“Well, now he doesn’t,” Fred replies with a cheeky wink. “C’mon—I made you a deal, didn’t I? Couldn’t let that git get the last word. Now he’s got no bloody idea what’s going on.”

“How can I ever thank you?”

Fred swallows over a lump in his throat, peering deeply into your very bright eyes. He knows what he wants to say, and he’s about too, but something stops him. Something holds him back. Instead, he grins, shakes his head, and slings an arm across your shoulder, making sure to hold onto you just a little bit longer this time.

— -

Fred, George, Ron, and Harry are sitting in the library looking positively ghastly. Ron and Harry are very reluctantly working on a Divination essay that Hermione had finished a week ago, while the twins are racking their brains to finish this petty assignment from Snape.

You wander inside and Fred notices, for the first time in a few days, that your sling is back on your shoulder. Concern floods through his body. “Hey,” he says, immediately pulling you into his arms, “are you okay? Is it bothering you?”

You’re positively beaming—that’s the only way Fred can describe is. Your smile is quite bright, looking happier than you have in months, even with your arm in a sling. “Yeah,” you tell him sweetly, taking a seat next to him, “hurts a little. Probably just slept on it funny, or something.”

“Be careful,” he tells you, snaking an arm around your waist and pulling you closer to him, completely ignoring the assignment in front of him, “let me know if you need to go to the hospital wing, okay?”

You nod and begin to slowly pull spell books from your bag when you notice the others across the table, looking at you both with what can only be described as mischievous grins.

You and Fred look at each other, and then at them. Fred’s hand tightens around your waist. “What?” you ask together.

“You know he isn’t here, right?” Harry asks you both. George and Ron are focusing very hard on their parchments, and are not doing a very good job at stifling their laughter.

It’s almost immediate that Fred unwraps his arm from your waist, and your face is burning with color, and Fred’s insides are beginning to tighten due to embarrassment. But before he can speak and defend his actions, you speak up, “Oh, erm—could’ve sworn I saw him—must’ve been my eyes playing tricks on me, then. Anyway..”

The rest of the afternoon is spent in utter silence, recovering from that tiny slip up and moment of embarrassment. And one by one they leave—first Harry, then Ron, and then George—who, by the looks of it, is nowhere near done with his assignment—but he claims he has somewhere he needs to be, and vanishes through the doors of the library before either you or Fred can do anything.

About an hour later, you ask Fred, “Could Snape be any more vile? Why did he assign this stupid essay again?”

Fred laughs softly, “because some Ravenclaw started insulting his teaching methods in the middle of the lesson—remember?”

“Oh yeah,” you say, the memory coming back to you now. Brightly, you say, “Hey—want to get back at that Ravenclaw and plan some elaborate type of prank to make this whole assignment just a little bit more bearable?”

Fred turns toward you with a surprised expression on his face. He smirks and shakes his head in admiration, “I think I’m becoming a bad influence on you.”

You bat your eyelashes at him and say, “Maybe. Would that be such an awful thing?”

And then he pulls you nearly all the way into his lap, begins tickling you and poking you in the ribs, and you begin to flail in his arms and laugh hysterically, when Madam Pince angrily shushes you from the other end of the library. You flip your hair out of your eyes and regain your composure, and Fred is suddenly very aware that you’re still seated in his lap, your face only inches from his, the bright color of your eyes sparkling in the sun flooding in from the windows. Right. You’re not actually technically together. He swallows thickly and watches as you bite down on your lip. You’re both about to say something, hearts thundering loudly in your chest, when suddenly you break the silence and slide yourself off of him, back into your seat and say, “We’d better head to the feast, Freddie. Don’t want to be late.”

— -

“Anyone fancy a game of exploding snap before bed?”

Ron’s sitting in the middle of the huddle, finishing the last of his dessert from the feast, while everyone around him is slumped in their seats looking positively exhausted.

George says sleepily, “Can’t mate—we’ve got a late night practice tonight.”

“D’you think Angelina will give me a beating if I just sleep through it?” Fred asks nobody in particular, his eyes closed.

“Yes,” you, Harry, George, Ginny and Hermione say together.

“Oh fine, you lot are out,” Ron waves his hand in the direction of the Quidditch players and then glances excitedly at you, Ginny, and Hermione. “Ladies? Anyone? Feeling kind of lucky this evening.”

Ginny snorts at this. “You? Lucky? Luck would be me not absolutely obliterating you in a game—not you winning. That’d be a miracle.” Her older brothers chuckle quite animatedly at this comment; it’s certainly woken them up a bit.

You grin at Ginny and then say to her very angry and embarrassed looking brother, “What she means to say, Ron, is that we’re all kind of exhausted due to lack of sleep, because someone—” you shoot a glance toward another Gryffindor girl on the other end of the Great Hall, “—put an amplifying charm on some Muggle contraption of hers last night, music kept us up till nearly dawn.”

Ron turns back toward his brothers now, looking confused. “No way you could’ve heard that from the girls dormitory, or Harry and I would’ve been up all night, too! So why are you two so bloody exhausted?”

“Usual mischief,” Fred and George chorus together, winking at the youngest male Weasley.

Ginny picks up her bag and says to the group, “I’m heading to bed. You two coming?” she glances at you and Hermione.

You glance back and forth between Ginny and Fred and bite your lip. You’re absolutely knackered, but you wonder whether you should go to practice, just to be there, just to watch, just to show you’re still devoted. Fred picks up on this and shakes his head. “You’re tired—go to bed. Promise you’re not missing much. Reckon we’ll all be rubbish due to exhaustion, anyway.”

“Okay,” you finally reply, albeit begrudgingly. Fred places a quick kiss to your cheek, the group stifles laughter, and you, Hermione, and an extremely baffled Ginny make your way upstairs to the common room, leaving the boys to their jokes in the very crowded Great Hall.

When you enter through the portrait hole, Hermione wishes you both a good evening before heading up the stairs. This leaves you and Ginny alone in a completely desolate common room. You remove your shoes and stand across from the fire, letting the warmth of the flames radiate through your body, when Ginny clears her throat.

“Care to tell me what’s going on between you and my older brother?” she says cheekily, grinning at you. She so very much resembles all of her siblings.

You laugh softly, running a hand through your hair and stretching your arms behind your head. “I thought Ron would’ve told you.. It’s nothing, Ginny. Promise. We’re just pretending. My ex has been strangely remorseful about the breakup lately, trying to get me to talk to him and what not—Fred’s just helping me out a bit.”

“By pretending to date you?”

“Yeah..” you say a bit guiltily now. “Yeah, it sort of happened in a moment of panic. Don’t worry, though. None of it’s real. Just till it gets the other one out of my way—then we’ll go back to normal.” You turn back to face the fire and it suddenly feels much, much hotter than before.

“But this is the normal you actually want, isn’t it?”

This takes you by surprise. You turn back slowly, now facing Ginny, and she’s wearing a genuine grin. “I—I dunno what you’re talking about.”

“I’ve watched Fred and George for years,” Ginny tells you, “admiring their recklessness and rebellion—but in turn, this also means I see who they get on with.”

“Meaning?”

She smiles softly, looking a little sulky actually, which is so very unlike Ginny. And she confides in you, and she’s acting very vulnerable which makes your heart soar, “I’d give anything for Harry to look at me the way you look at Fred.”

You swallow over a lump in your throat, and Ginny can easily sense your nervousness. She reaches out and places a gentle hand on your shoulder. In a very hoarse, soft voice, as if your vocal chords have been strained, you plead, “Please, please don’t tell him.”

She doesn’t respond to this exactly, but you know she’ll keep her lips sealed. She asks, “How long?”

“I—I dunno,” you tell her truthfully. You bite your lip to keep your heart jumping out of your throat, “over time, I suppose.” You continue to tell her of how everything unfolded, how Fred had jokingly told you to not develop feelings for him, how he’d kissed you that one day in the corridor.

There’s a few moments of silence between you both, but there’s nothing uncomfortable about it. In fact, it’s the most comfortable you’ve ever been with one another—secretly longing for the boys who don’t seem to look at you both the way you so deeply yearn. Finally, Ginny breaks the tension and says, “Your secret is safe with me. Just be careful, okay? I don’t want to see you get hurt again.”

Is this her way of telling you that Fred doesn’t feel the same way as you? That these feelings you have for him are a hundred percent one sided and are not at all reciprocated? It’s as if she’s reading your thoughts, because she tells you, “I’ve no idea how he feels—he doesn’t tell me anything at all, real git that he is,” you both laugh at this exchange, and Ginny echoes herself, “Just be careful.”

“I will,” you reply, now realizing that she’s has given you quite a lot to think about, “Thanks, Gin.”

— -

Fred’s feeling positively blue, if you will. He’s standing smack in the middle of the corridor in his Quidditch robes after a truly rubbish weekend practice, staring at the spot you were just standing. It’s like you’re still there, he can still smell your perfume, but he reckons you’ve probably already made it back to the common room by now.

Just then, he feels a hand on his shoulder. He jumps in surprise, and turns around only to be face to face with George and Ginny, who laugh at his skittishness.

“You alright, mate? Coming to the Great Hall?”

“Yeah.” Fred’s voice sounds vastly different in his own ears; it’s hoarse and broken, and he doesn’t understand why. He coughs a bit, and then echoes himself, “Yeah,” except he doesn’t believe it, and neither do his siblings.

George stops bouncing his broomstick between his hands at once. He looks once at Ginny and then back at Fred as the corridor begins to fill with students, “What’s going on?”

“Sh-she ended it,” he replies, and the words feel foreign in his mouth.

“Who, Y/N? The.. fake thing?” George asks, lowering his voice. “Maybe the git is finally leaving her be.”

“No, that’s not it. She wouldn’t tell me. She was.. weirdly quiet. She told me that she was worried things are going to get messy and she’s afraid rules are being broken on her end.. has she said anything to either of you? What is she even talking about?”

George responds quickly with a, “No, nothing,” whereas Ginny hesitates a bit, and then responds, “No, Freddie. She hasn’t.” But Fred can sense that his little sister isn’t giving him all of the info. Had she talked to you? Does she know what’s going on? Then George nudges his brother and asks a bit cheekily, “Does this make you upset?”

“No, no, of course not!” Fred says a bit aggressively, but both of his siblings just cock their heads to the side, as if to say, Really, Freddie, we can see right through you. “I—I mean—I just.. thought we were having a bit of fun.”

“Yeah,” George begins, while Ginny remains quiet by his side, “okay, you were having fun, but.. what I’m asking you, Fred, is—do you maybe want to be with her for real? And that’s why you’re upset?”

When Fred doesn’t answer, Ginny finds her voice. “We know, Fred.”

“Know what?”

George and Ginny say together, “That you fancy her.”

Fred runs a hand through his hair. He’s feeling aggravated now—he doesn’t like when his mind and thoughts get picked apart by people closest to him, especially when he’s trying on his own to piece together exactly how he feels. But he comes to realize, as his heart begins to beat faster when he thinks of you, that his siblings are right. He’s felt this way for a very, very long time.

Without showing just how much he really feels for you, Fred tells them, “Yeah, erm, okay, I—maybe I have some.. feelings,” he says through gritted teeth and George can’t help but stifle a laugh at his twin’s nervousness. Fred punches him in the arm. “But she kept saying that she’s breaking rules—but what rules? I haven’t the foggiest what she’s on about! I don’t even know if she feels the same way!”

“Fred,” Ginny says quietly, “you jokingly made one rule with her when you two began this whole ridiculous stunt.” When Fred just looks at his sister quizzically, wondering what the bloody hell she’s on about, she opts to continue, “you told her you’re not allowed to fall for one another.”

Realization hits Fred like a ton of bricks, George throws his hands up in confusion, and Ginny pushes on Fred’s chest and grins cheekily at her older brother, leaving poor George baffled beyond belief at this secret language his other two siblings seem to have. Ginny nods in the direction of the common room, “Just go get her already, would you?”

And Fred’s flying through the corridors and up the stairs, he’s pushing past students and professors alike, he’s running hands through his messy, windswept hair and he’s climbing through the portrait hole, only to find you sitting on the ledge near the window looking out at the stars, just as you had all those long months ago when he found you crying.

“Hey, Freddie,” you say when you turn to face him. “Everything okay?”

He doesn’t answer—he pushes past the desks and chairs blocking him from you and does the one and only thing he wants to do, the only thing he’s ever wanted to do for as long as he can remember now—he scoops you up into his arms, presses his forehead to yours, and kisses you. For real, this time.

Your surprise is overridden by the slight, exasperated moan that escapes your lips before you wrap your hands around the back of his neck. His fingers are dancing across your hip bones and then make their way up your back and into your hair. He kisses you once, twice, three more times before fully breaking, and hovers close to you again before pulling away completely to see the sparkle in your eyes, the bright smile plastered across your face.

As you push down any nervousness rising to the surface with a quick swallow, you say, “So.. where’ve you been?”

Fred laughs haughtily now, remembering that time all those few months ago when you’d said the exact same thing in a completely different context. He’s finding it beyond difficult to not kiss you into oblivion right now, especially as you bite on your bottom lip to try and suppress a very large grin.

“Sorry, love, I got tied up with my thoughts—but I can stay here with you now.”

He pulls you into a tight embrace before his lips find yours again. You can both hear voices outside the portrait whole. It’s obvious to you now that you have mere seconds before your alone time will be so very rudely interrupted by fellow Gryffindors.

“I broke the rules,” you tell him with slight tears in your eyes, playing with the baby fine hairs at the nape of his neck.

“Me too,” he admits breathlessly, swiping his thumb across your cheek. “I broke them a long time ago.” His heart begins to thunder inside of his chest at the feeling of your lips forming a smile against his, and he’s almost positive you can hear it—but he doesn’t care. He wants you to know you get his heart racing—more than pranking, more than firewhisky, more than Quidditch—more than anything or anyone in the entire world. He continues after another small kiss, “I reckon some rules are meant to be broken, though, aren’t they?”

reblogs & feedback are always appreciated, darlings. thank you for reading and requesting, much love x

[prinxlyart]

I will say, I am hungry again and I have a few ask for your Willumity/Vinira headcannons. HOWEVER to be fair to you. This time I will restrain myself and simply ask for you to share any headcanons you want to share as of now!

You can ALWAYS ask for more Willumity.

A L W A Y S

But!! Since you’ve given me free reign to just play in this sandbox, that’s exactly what I’m gonna do

We all agree that Luz is hella ADHD. This girl will talk for HOURS about the shit she likes. If something grabs her attention, she wants to know everything about it. She doesn’t like being told to do things, but she loves being asked to do things. For example: if someone tells her she needs to do a thing her brain will immediately click into the “No” position and will refuse to budge. If someone asks her to do something, her brain clicks to “help? I can help? I can help with a thing for this person? Yes! I’ll help this person with this task because it will make them happy! Yes! I can help!” This is why acts of service resonate so strongly with her.

I don’t know what mental diversity looks like on the Boiling Isles considering how just. Horror-based everything is? But I’m 100% on that autistic Amity train. She has to do things a Certain Way or she’ll teeter on the edge of a meltdown. She refuses to touch/eat certain textures. She usually doesn’t know what the appropriate response/reaction is to a given conversation, especially with her socialite friends, which is why she just remains a cool mask of indifference. She’ll inspect every detail of anything that’s handed to her. She’s incredibly smart, but doesn’t always know how to convey what she knows and understands into words other people can understand. The only people allowed in her personal space are her siblings. Eventually that also stems to Luz and Willow, maybe more as she grows more comfortable with herself? But usually anyone getting in her space is overwhelming and alarming. Defo has a hard time regulating/processing her emotions.

I need to make an entire post dedicated to Augustus Porter because my boy deserves it, but I’ll toss some random things here. He has a signed poster from the head of the Illusionist Coven framed on his bedroom wall. He and his dad have bi-weekly after-dinner standup comedy sessions with each other (Perry has kept a secret journal of all of Gus’s best jokes he’s done over the years that he reads whenever he needs a pick-me-up).

Perry and Eda knew each other in school in passing. Their social circles overlapped but they were never hanging out in the same groups. When Gus is very little (like, maybe 3 or 4?), Perry takes him to the market to just wander around and they find Eda’s Human Collectibles Stand. She and Perry catch up, he introduces her to his son, and Eda (ever the saleswoman) pulls out some shiny human thing that Gus is immediately taken with. In between her and Perry catching up, Gus asks her a million questions about the thing he’s been given and then even more questions about other stuff at her stand. She actually finds it really fun to show off her human shit to someone so enthralled by it. She makes some stuff up here and there just to mess with him, but he’s too young to realize it’s a joke or not true, and takes everything at face value. We all know Eda likes to get a little theatrical with her sales pitches; she does the Salesperson act with everything Gus asks her about. She lets Gus take a couple items home just because he was such a riot and Perry insists he pay for something, but Eda just waves them off and tells him that this is just an investment in a lifelong customer. She had no idea how right she was because Gus defo became obsessed with human culture from that point on. He also picked up on Eda’s super theatrical sales pitches (because he thought it was funny and because he thought that’s just how you’re supposed to show human stuff to people) and began showing off his own “human collectibles museum” to his dad with the same theatrical voice. Perry plays along with this too (as a news anchor he’s got a great announcer voice) and ta-da! That’s how we get the boy we all know and love today. It’s 100% Eda’s fault, but Perry definitely encouraged it because it made his son so happy. That’s also why Gus doesn’t seem especially perturbed at meeting Eda for the first time in ep 3. Or for interjecting his new Human Knowledge in the moment she was patting Luz’s head. He’s used to having conversations with her about human junk whenever she has her stand up. Eda’s secretly relieved that one of Luz’s new friends is actually someone she kinda knows. It’s Perry’s kid, and Perry’s a good guy. His little squirt seems to be growing up to be pretty good too.

Eda scoffs at “nerdy” shit as if she hasn’t owned the Clawthorne Braincell her entire life. “She worked twice as hard” “-that just made me work harder than you!”. Eda’s extremely smart and extremely talented. She likely created the secret room of shortcuts entirely on her own. She probably studied in the school library constantly, but under the guise of causing mischief. And like. She probably did both. She was a potions track kid so she probably knew all the best ways to make stink bombs that she could leave hidden in the shelves. She hated school because she was so limited and stifled; she only wanted to learn magic and was told no at every turn. So when she learned magic on her own, yknow, without the guidance of a teacher, there’s bound to be some major fuck ups. Once she’s fine-tuned her mistakes though, she absolutely turns them into pranks. You say I’m not allowed to study multiple tracks, bumpikins?? Well how’s THIS!!! How’s THAT for focus??? (Half of her pranks were also just her showing off and desperately hoping to prove that she could learn any type of magic and couldn’t be constrained to just the one. Bump recognized this of course, but he had strict guidelines to follow and no Luz Noceda to call him out for it.)

Camila treasures her daughter more than life itself. I personally refuse to headcanon anything to do with her extended family or why she’s a single parent (too many variables and options that could be addressed in the show), but I do know that she loves Luz more than anything. It’s exhausting being a single mom, working as a nurse, and trying to be there for her ADHD daughter when the rest of the world doesn’t seem to want her. It hurts her so much to see her baby, the light of her life, her Luz, be brushed aside and written off as “the weirdo”, or bullied, or even outright hated by some people just because she’s a little different. She’s had to have some words with the school staff for how they treat her on occasion. Did you see that Principal’s death glare in the first ep?? He hates her. Camila’s there not just because she’s Luz’s parent, but also to act as a barrier between the principal and Luz. She would move Heaven and Earth for Luz, but it can be a lot when you’re the only adult around. I truly believe she wanted Luz to go to that camp to learn how to be friends with kids that didn’t already know her or her quirks. Even she sounded unsure of what they would do at that camp, but she had full faith that this would be Luz’s opportunity to make friends with other kids that could teach her to like....more mainstream stuff. So she could learn how to mimic their (hopefully, toned down) behaviors. She just wants her baby to be accepted by others.

This next one’s a doozy so hold on to your butts

Lilith is technically smart. And I mean that in a literal sense - she can read and understand the fundamentals of magic, the concepts and execution of complex spells, recite entire chapters of Boiling Isles history, you name it. Many adults in her youth called her gifted because of it. All she actually did was absorb the information and regurgitate it when asked. She thrived on the praise she received. What made her different from her sister is that she never wanted anything more than to do as she was told. Her biggest goal? Her dream job? Was to just be given orders by the Emperor. I’m sure there’s all sorts of flowery propaganda surrounding that, advertising how incredible it is to be in the Emperor’s Coven, what an honor it is to work alongside the witch that can speak to the Titan. But it’s literally just. Taking orders. And knowing you’re somehow better than everyone else because you’ve been selected to be among the elite. She never strived for anything more; she never wanted to do anything else but enforce the Emperor’s will because that was “the highest honor” a witch could have. As a result (or in conjunction rather) she lacks literally any amount of foresight. There’s only one braincell in the Clawthorne Family and her sister has it because this dumbass doesn’t think about anyone but herself. Instead of talking with Eda about what they should do when they were told there was only one spot left in the Emperor’s Coven, she walked away. Only thinking of how she could secure her victory. She didn’t ask Eda how she felt about the situation, she didn’t let Eda speak her mind about what her own desires were; Eda made it clear enough that she just wanted to be by Lilith’s side, she didn’t care what that meant. She just wanted to be with her big sister. Eda tried to reach out to her to discuss their cirumstances, but Lilith just walked away like the broody, self-centered teenager that she was and resolved to cheat her way to victory. When Eda knew this was her dream. Why would she think Eda would take away her dream???? She could’ve asked Eda to throw the duel? She could’ve asked her to fake the match? Or even fake sick? Or just not even shown up! If she didn’t show up it could’ve counted as a forfeit and Lilith would’ve earned the spot by default! But no, she had to ruin her sister’s entire life in an act of cowardice and dishonor because she’s so full of herself and didn’t read the fine print. She loves her sister, of course she does, but she’s so self-absorbed that she’s never seen Eda for who she actually is and wasted both of their lives as a result. And this is all just analysis of her character and that flashback, this isn’t even headcanons. I think if she has any amount of respect for her sister (she doesn’t), her redemption will have to go far far beyond an apology and taking on half the curse. When I say Lilith is a dumbass, this is specifically what I mean. She doesn’t think about how her actions will affect those around her. She was the Head of the Emperor’s Coven, literally one of the most powerful positions she could possibly be in on the Boiling Isles and still sacrificed Amity’s dignity and years of hard work just so she could be ensured that she could one-up her sister. She did this in front of everyone in attendance of that Witches Duel. She risked Amity’s credibility as a witch, as a Blight, and as a person just to fuel her own ego. It’s no wonder Amity was so upset; the witch she’s been idolizing her whole life didn’t think she had what it took to best a human that couldn’t do magic in a witches duel. That can fuck up your self esteem something fierce. And Lilith hardly seemed to give a shit!!!! She didn’t care that she just trashed Amity’s reputation in front of dozens of spectators!!!! I’m v bitter about Lilith as a character in case you couldn’t tell.

If I had to throw a headcanon in, I’ll toss one in that sterling and I have discussed: Lilith literally doesn’t know how to live her life as an independent adult. Sure, she knows how to like. Make herself some easy dinners? But that’s literally only because she used to make herself and Eda dinners when they were kids. Beyond that, she has no fucking idea. She can do the basic household chores any teenager knows how to do, but she’s lived in the Emperor’s Castle with the rest of the Coven since she joined. It’s kind of like living in a college dorm; food and a room is provided, there’s maybe a laundry service, she’s never had to pay taxes in her life (not that Eda does, but yknow). The only things she buys for herself (if she doesn’t make it herself) is her hair dye and books. When she first moves in to the Owl House, she has no idea how the household chores are done. She’s on House Cleaning Duty Eternally and the first......I’ll say year. Eda will wake her up by banging pots and pans over her head once every month and scream-singing about how it’s House Cleaning Day, pull out her lawn chairs and some lemonade, and she and Luz (and sometimes King) will just sit back and relax and watch the show that is Lilith trying to clean Hooty. Hooty does not like to cooperate with her (partially because Lilith is a special friend and partially because he knows how much joy it brings Eda and Luz to watch her struggle).

Oof I could go on but this is already one hell of a post huh? Sorry (not really) for dragging Lilith so hard; not a joke, tumblr made me split hers up into two bullet points because it couldn’t comprehend my ranting for so long in one bullet point. I do love sharing these with y’all though, they’re so much fun and I’m so glad you guys like my rambling. <3333

[floralkittygambler]

RadioDust is the Healthiest Toxic Ship for Angel so far

@honesthazbinarchives​ Briefly. I’d like to go into this more in the future BUT these are the main points I said I’d do. Heh ‘stay tuned’ for why HuskerDust is toxic [haaaa funny fuckin reference n shit like Viv herself aint overdone it]. Yer dont even wanna know the lack of enthusiasm in tryna do a playful ‘cringetopia’ joke - wasnt as fun as anticipated. Anyfuckinways, the shit. Before we begin, disclaimers n whatnot, no hate intended, dni if you’re a bit of a knobhead [either stan or extreme anti], an all that nonsense. I dont own the characters no shit.  In this I’ll discuss how RadioDust aka SpiDEER (thats right, yer stuck w my shit humour now) is both the healthiest ship for Angel we’ve seen so far but still rather toxic. Idc if you hate me for it but dont fuckin waste yer time telling me. Great. I dont care. Yer fuckin hard n whatnot for harassin strangers online. Big dick energy to you. This will be slightly messy, my apologies, it’s a quick summary of many points.

Alright. Firstly, out of the entire male cast Angel interacts with over all platforms, Al is given a fair bit of mercy in terms of sexual advances. In fact, a swift ‘no’ and Angel doesn’t do it again - unlike most of the other cast [pent’s is covert, husks is overt]. One thing I like is that Angel himself admits to their chemistry (claiming that whilst he thinks Al’s a prick, he thinks Al dislikes him which saddens him as he’d at least like to be friends as he feels they have good chemistry - according to the VA via Hunicast’s 1yr anniversary), there’s no further efforts to jump on his dick but a clear curiosity/interest in what Al can do.  Lets go to the basics, both are of similar age [allegedly in their 30s, though Ive heard Al may be up to mid 40s] as well as created near the same-ISH time (as in, Viv’s oldest characters, at least for HH). Likewise, Viv admitted to knowing fuck all on either of their eras (and to make that public wasn’t really a wise choice BUUUT if you felt the need, it’s better worded with interest “Right now I’m working towards educating myself more on their time periods to improve their portrayals” <-- crucial if yer want that ‘realism’). Because of their real-world ages, Viv confesses they’re her favourites (even if you didnt know, she makes it pretty clear). It could be a nice ‘homage’ to their impact in her life but not too relevant otherwise. It could fulfil the need for self indulgence that she’s unhealthily leaking into the canon - which will ultimately make the series shit. No sugarcoating there.  As for their ages, a relationship can work whether the gap is large or small HOWEVER there are many ethics and conflicts to each. And being an adult into kids is always fucked up. With that being said, studies have shown that closer ages often work better due to the often similarities in mindset, maturity and life goals (older folks are more likely to want to settle, younger often have more ambitions), likewise there tends to be an unbalanced power-dynamic if the ages are too far, which can lead to various types of abuse. Dont get me wrong, being with someone much older (AS LONG AS NONE OF YALL ARE KIDS) very much CAN work - but rarely. There’s much more hardwork needed as well as being in the right mindset for both, otherwise it’s bad. More on that in HD. Long story short, both are closer in age meaning both are more ‘relatable’ to one another. There’s common grounds, even in the eras there’s some higher understanding of one another. Notice how Vaggie and Charlie are similar in age? (Even though Charlie is far older, her appearance and mentality for her race is on par with Vaggie’s, making it far more likely to work out positively) One of the most prominent out of all of this however is their actual interests. So listing; Both like action/chaos/having fun (often at the expense of others), both love cooking and can be food snobs in their own right, both have sadistic AND masochistic tendencies, Al likes performance and theatre whilst Angel loves *to* perform, on that last point Angel was very intrigued and enjoyed Al’s song number/performance naturally, both really enjoy pranks and both enjoy liquor (neither show an actual addiction, but rather an interest in social drinking - no dependencies on it). Again, close eras mean both have a higher probability of understanding the other and their lifestyles better. Both are high on appearance and love themselves, implying self confident mindset (healthy BUT the narcissism isnt) yet enough consideration for how they are viewed. On the parent system, one adores his mama whilst the other hates his pops.  Now Ive gone on about how they’re similar. But similarities ALONE is not enough. If it was, then fandom’s would be a lil more harmonious~ A HEALTHY relationship needs compatibility, POSITIVE conversation flow, common grounds, trust, openness and understanding. Even then, some people click and some just dont. It’s like how you can just hate someone for no reason. It just IS. Common grounds and similarity is scientifically proven to be attractive to someone - be it good or BAD. People are drawn to those like their parents in some way usually, likewise we look for people similar to ourselves (from our interests, to humour, beliefs, goals, etc). Science itself states that ‘opposites attract’ solemnly applies in the real world successfully. Though similiarity plays a large role, there has to be some differences too - that person is STILL an individual separate to yourself. Too similar and it’s boring. Too similar and you’ll do everything together without some ‘you’ time. Both Vaggie and Charlie have similar interests/hobbies in dance and music, yet still have enough differences to be identifiable when together. Vaggie is more grounded than Charlie. Charlie gives some optimism and fun to Vaggie. Remember, a partner does NOT complete you - that’s a toxic mindset when taken too seriously, You complete YOURSELF. Whether you have someone or not, you must feel complete in yourself as to not slip into toxic dependency on a lover - to become them, a shadow of them or feel like you’ve lost your identity without them. Sounds harsh but it’s true. Chaggie compliments each other without a dependency. You stand alone yet uplift one another. You don’t always agree but in the end you always have each other’s backs. Love is often butchered in a toxic light in the media.  So taking that into consideration, how does spideer work? Well, here’s some examples of good, bad and neutral: - Angel loves animals, Al fears/dislikes dogs. Perhaps Angel could assist him in overcoming this? - Al hates being touched, Angel dislikes being squeezed. Maybe this could help them reach an understanding... Or cause a rift? - Angel was the only one to break Al’s composure, either Angel is the *key* to delving further into Al’s more raw self... Or just another obVOXious pest? (yeah, I said it-) - Neither respect other’s boundaries, meaning both may fuel the other to be overly disrespectful in this area. Not good. - Angel is a sarky/sarcastic fuck, Al loves dry humour. Both seek amusement and chaos. In relationships one needs to see how conversation flows and in the hunicasts, both keep up some good as well as toxic banter. Both could roast the fuck out of an opponent however. - Al is acro/ace, Angel is hypersexual (appears like a sex addict - now I say this as his book has a crossed out ‘fun stuff’ with ‘work shit’ written on it. He’s always fixed on sex from his job to his humour), this could either aid Angel ease up on the sex stuff OR make him overly push it onto Al causing major rifts and discomfort (aces can have sex, ref to ace posts that real asexuals put to understand more but no one wants to be forced into sex is the point here). And we’ve already discussed their lack of respect for boundaries. The positive is that maybe this will make Angel understand how Val is rubbing off on his own behaviour towards men [again, more on that in the HD post]. - Both similar yet different in a way that does suit their compatibility chances but that doesnt mean they will click, it just improves the odds. - Both have similar enemies in Val and Vox, they’re on common terms. Likewise, Al is against the ‘sexual deviance’ of hell meaning he may be oddly supportive and protective of Angel in terms of Val. I dont even think his sadism will override this either. - Al dislikes modern tech, Angel seems to use it as his job requires it. A nice little menial difference. - Only ONE is an addict. Take it from an expert, you NEVER put two addicts together. They’re very vulnerable and prone to slipping deeper into their addictions as well as depending on each other too much that they essentially become very clingy, suffocating and toxic to each other. Seen it in action, it’s ugly.  - Both could have a lot of fun and calm moments with each other. - He isn’t immediately smitten with Al but immediately shows a natural interest in Al’s powers and performance, embracing it openly. Leads for a good friendship turned lovers plot. - In Viv’s patreon, she confirmed Angel loves confident guys [sounds exactly like Al] We need to think about where both are mentally. What benefits would a relationship give both? How would they be good and bad for each other? For Al, aside from his outdated views and being a fucking murderer and narcissist, he actually seems in a good mindspace for a relationship IF he opted to be in one. Angel however has a very immature mindset, likewise is in a phase of life where hes bed hopping. IF he were to be in a relationship, I’d say he needs a male equivalent of Cherri - someone with a similar mindset yet some differences, willing to have fun and in touch with their younger side, down to cuddle, open to share and receive love as well as not afraid to publicly be affectionate with him, someone who sees him as more than just for sex, someone fun, someone who’ll let him embrace his cutesy side publicly without shame - Cherri is younger so maybe someone who’s his age or slightly younger perhaps? I think Angel’s not retirement home ready to settle and needs someone on his level that can cuddle and chill as well as feels free and youthful enough to go wild with him. In one sense, he’s got a teen girl sorta mindset (dont put him with a teen though, it’s fuckin weird-). He needs someone positive and raw, someone to let him be himself as well as someone comfortable to be themselves around him. He has a habit of latching onto unobtainable men (in psychology, this is self sabotaging subconsciously): Travis the client, Val a pimp, Husk (emotionally unavailable and needs HEAVY self work - interestingly far more than Angel - plus he’s still onto his last relationship and an addict to gambling and alcohol), Pent who’s the enemy he was currently fighting (inappropriate timing), Alastor who’s not interested in another but his own needs [selfish, VERY bad for a relationship]. Subconsciously he’s self sabotaging on purpose. There’s many psychology books as well as sources online for this, if you’re interested. Either way, Angel is drawn to men either like his father [who dislike him, shun him, or are otherwise cold, abusive or just blatantly dislike or otherwise dont care about him] or anyone with money to fuel his drug addiction/’debt’ to Val. Going with any of these men isn’t a good idea.  Preferably, Angel needs someone who he doesnt immediately crush and obsess over. Someone who he doesnt sexually harass or assault. Someone he can build a connection with quickly that can bud into romance (think how Chaggie started as a friendship which clicked immediately). Maybe even someone he doesn’t expect to fall for but does so anyways. It would be more realistic as Viv wants as well as more healthy. That for once he isnt sex or money craved instantly, thus doesnt sexually harass/assault and is given a proper chance to develop and grow a friendship and love. Someone who isnt an addict.  Someone with an on-par mindset where they click. Someone open to love. For any chance of a good relationship, Angel needs to be with anyone BUT who we’ve already seen. There’s too much toxicity that’ll be swept under the rug and justified otherwise. Too much shit to fuel homophobes in terms of gay stereotypes. Even though Ive focused a fair bit on Angel, it’s NOT just about Angel. That’s something fans forget. Some he depends on or someone who depends on him in the long term wont last and will be very dangerous to both.  Just because you suffer, you dont then deserve to be rewarded with ‘something nice’. You dont get to have everything youve ever wanted. Giving him any of these blokes [minus Val] gives him a pass. Gives him what he wants. I get Viv loves him but life doesnt work that way. True lasting growth comes from learning that. Acceptance and growth. You dont get everything you want and sometimes thats a GOOD thing. He’s not a spoilt kid who gets everything he asks for, he’s YOUR creation. If you really wanted what your creations deserve then you need to research and be realistic with it. Because hes starting to feel like a shitty Gary-Stu at this rate. I live with an ‘Angel Dust’ like person. It used to feel like life gave her everything and most times it did. Everyone loved her and she could get away with murder if she wanted to. But now she’s had to struggle and grow, let go of some ‘wants’ because they werent good for her and she’s becoming better for it. She has a long way but she’s more humble for it now [still got self confidence but it’s less narcissism now, which is more healthy for her]. Also, they make the word anal lol

[darlingpetao3]

Sugar (EoWells x Reader)

Rating: T

Summary: You and Doctor Harrison Wells have an arrangement - you provide lovely company and conversation while he showers you with gifts and pays for you to advance your scientific knowledge. Does he want more than this? And more importantly, does he have an ulterior motive..?

Tag LIst: @fandomdancer @bluesclues-1234 @blogforhoes​ @pinkdiamond1016​ @crissymadlock​

“Good evening, Miss (Y/L/N),” the doorman of the luxurious Central City Plaza Hotel greets you. He opens the door wide. “Welcome back.”

You give the man a polite nod and a shy smile. Does he know why you’re here? One of the little voices in your head likes to pester you, insisting that everyone is aware of the special arrangement you have with a certain high-profile scientist.

But there’s no way they would know.

Doctor Harrison Wells would be sure to keep this arrangement discreet.

A text message you had received from the man himself earlier in the day tells you the floor and room number. The closer you get, the faster your heart slams against your chest. It’s like the organ is leading you to the man behind the door you now stand in front of.

Your knuckles rap on the door once, twice, three times.

You hold your breath the entire time between knocking and him answering the door, though luckily you don’t have to wait that long at all.

Science’s Greatest Mind, Harrison Wells, opens the door to reveal himself dressed as the always impeccably gorgeous dresser he is - a crisp white button-down tucked into his black slacks and shiny black shoes you could practically see your blushing face in. His shirt sleeves are rolled up his forearms, and on one you spot a watch worth more than your tuition.

Speaking of tuition…

“Miss (Y/L/N), always a pleasure.” Apparently you’ve skipped dinner with him because his silky voice is already dessert to your ears. “Please, come in. May I take your coat?”

“Yes, thank you.”

One would think after meeting up Doctor Wells every few weeks would diminish the pedestal effect you have created for the man. One would think you wouldn’t get stars in your eyes when he compliments you or builds on one of your scientific theories. And one would think that meeting your idol would change your opinion of him. But nope - the fire inside you seems to burn even hotter for Harrison Wells with every meeting and every second of attention he gives you.

The thing is, Harrison had received word from sources unknown about you - an exceptional mind that many of your peers believed rivalled his own. The tragedy was that you could not seek further education in your field of interest due to an extraordinary lack of financial means. There you were, walking around with that big beautiful brain, only to have it figuratively short circuit when your hero, the man of your dreams, tracked you down.

What it came down to was Harrison feeling unable to let your untapped potential go to waste and invested in you. He came to you with the idea and profound generosity of paying for you to further your education in particle physics, among other fields.

Naturally, you were surprised beyond all belief.

“There’s a little something for you on the desk just over there, if you’d like to open it,” Harrison informs you as he’s already pouring you both some drinks.

Oh yeah - he also showers you with extravagant gifts.

On the desktop lies a long white rectangular box. Your mouth opens a smidge when you look to him, giving the scientist an expression of what have you done?

“Harrison, you shouldn’t have,” you tell him, as you do every rendezvous when he begins to spoil you.

“If I had a nickel,” he smiles fondly at you, with a hint of something else. “Please, open it.” 

Sometimes you wonder if he feels the same way about you. Is he interested in dating you? He’s never made a move or outright asked you anything pertaining to the topic of dating. All he’s ever done is compliment you, give you presents, and most importantly, have deep and meaningful conversations about work and life. Although now that you think about it, you don’t discuss much about his life…

It must come with the territory of being a famous, innovative scientist.

Fine, Harrison Wells can keep his secrets.

You open the lid of the box to find a sleek and classy little black dress.

“It’s beautiful…” you breathe out.

“You’ll wear it for our dinner?”

“Have I ever turned down a piece of gorgeous clothing you’ve bought me?”

Harrison grins. “You have not, no. And I’m glad for it.”

“You have exceptional taste,” you tell him.

“I have exceptional inspiration.”

Aaaand cue your blushing cheeks. You scurry off to the insanely immaculate bathroom to change and freshen up. You’re always extra careful with the new clothes he buys you, and treat them like they’re delicate relics you have the utmost privilege to wear. And, of course, right before you leave the bathroom, you check your breath. Just in case.

Okay, all good.

You love how this dress fits you. It’s like it was created just for you. But what you love even more is the intoxicating transfixed gaze of Doctor Wells as you walk back into the room. As you inspect your dress, he moves to stand in front of you. His hands hold on to your forearms. With a little shrug, you can’t help but ask him, “What do you think?”

“I think I am blessed to be in your presence.”

“Oh, what a line!” you tease, and Harrison merely laughs. He always makes you feel like a queen.

“Turn around,” he tells you. For a number of reasons, your heartbeat immediately begins to gallop.

“W-why?”

Harrison just gives you a look, and soon your body is turning your back to him in obedience. After a moment, you feel and see his large hands in front of you at your collarbone area. Then there’s a cool sensation on your skin - metal. A necklace? He secures the clasp behind you, and you feel a quick spark of what must be static electricity when his fingers graze your skin, making you jump. You’re sure to look down to inspect the jewellery piece - a little gold lightning bolt.

“Harrison, you didn’t-”

“-Shall we have dinner?”

You can only nod in reply because you cannot form words. How is he so giving? It makes you wonder whether or not you’re the only one with whom he spoils and spends time.

You wonder if maybe he does other things with other women.

***

Dinner is magnificent as usual. Harrison always orders the most delectable and pricey things on the hotel menu. He also knows the chef personally, so sometimes he calls down to make special requests. This was one of those times. The pair of you talk shop over dinner, your life goals and plans, and so forth.

“I’d love for you to work for me someday on one of my future projects,” Harrison says eventually, effectively blowing your mind.

“Are you serious? You’re actually saying this to me?”

“Yes. I’d have thought you might have had an inkling I would ask you one of these days. I don’t think I’ve been that subtle.”

“Well, consider me oblivious!”

He chuckles. “Good to know.”

As you soon move into the hotel suite's living area, your mind is still reeling from his loose job offer, but then that other pesky thought appears in its place. Maybe it’s the wine, but the thought manifests into words off your tongue.

“How... many others are you doing this with?” you ask.

“Doing what, precisely?”

“You know! Spending special time with me. Buying me lavishly expensive gifts. You’re already paying for my tuition, something you never had to do in the first place. Even though I’m incredibly grateful for that, don’t get me wrong,” you add quickly.

“These gifts,” he says while lifting your chin with his finger to get you to look at him, “are because I think you deserve the world and this is the closest thing I can do to manifest that. As for your tuition, I think you know I believe you to be one of the most promising minds of this time. It would be a crime to let your insight and talent go unused due to a lack of funds.” His compliments play your harp-like heart like a seasoned professional. “What’s more, I... genuinely enjoy our times together.”

Never before has Harrison ever suggested taking whatever this thing is between you to the proverbial next level. You have always had the sense that he is interested in you, but would never be the first to make that sort of move on you. But tonight… right now… you feel so much for him and everything he’s been doing for you, so selflessly, that you want to try to take that next step. If he’s willing, of course.

Your hand ventures experimentally to rest on his leg. Harrison subtly perks up at your touch as if he’s just spotted the window of opportunity you’re sneaking through.

“I enjoy our times together, too,” you agree. “I like you, Harrison. A lot.”

“And I like you.”

You let your hand move slightly higher up his thigh, but his own stops you.

“Please don’t think you owe me anything,” he says, making sure you understand. “I wouldn’t want you to think I’d-”

“-No, no. I know,” you tell him, leaning in closer. “I just really want to. I want you.”

The Doctor Harrison Wells sits there across from you with his mouth parted the slightest bit - the mouth you become obsessed with when you meet him with yours. You’ve wanted to do this for so long and now it’s finally coming true. The heat you begin to feel between you both seems to lure you into his lap and press your hands to his chest. This kiss deepens in an exploratory desperation. Harrison’s hunger lets itself be known by the sound deep in his throat.

You pull back to see how he smiles that gleaming smile as if he’s won the lottery, staring you straight in the eye. “Before we... would you open one more gift from me?”

“Oh,” you say with a bit of a rasp to your voice. “Sure. Yes.”

The scientist reaches around the side of the couch to hand you another box. It’s not nearly as big as the dress box. You pull off the top and move the red tissue paper around to uncover the sexiest goddamn lingerie you’ve ever seen.

You hold it up to yourself. Harrison’s eyes have gone as black as the slinky satin garment itself.

“Would you wear that for me?” he asks.

“I’d do anything for you,” tumbles out of your mouth in pure lust and infatuation.

His brilliant smile almost blinds you.

“Good to know.”

~

Anonymous Request: I recently discovered that I'm kinda into the sugar daddy kink in fics which is new to me...if that appeals to you at all I was hoping maybe you'd write something where Eowells is a sugar daddy to the reader cause that would be hot. I was hoping they could hook up in a luxurious hotel room that he rented and the reader had to wear whatever he bought for them.

[katoodlez]

i tried to be productive this morning but i dont think my brain will let me until i do this, so sam and bucky show episode 4 letS GO

i would like to preface this post by saying that I literally got spoilers (before i watched the episode) from liTERALLY EVERYTHING from youtube to gOOGLE CHROME when i was trying to read the nEWS so in order to avoid spoiling it for anyone that hasnt seen it, STOP READING because this episode is inSANE and you don’t want it ruined for you.

Okay with that being said, let’s get started.

1. the first scene in wakanda absolutely deSTROYED ME. ayo helping bucky clear the winter soldier programming from his mind and then the silent shift of emotions on his face as the flashbacks happened and then when he realized he was free was just-- KDSFKSD the aCTING WAS SO GOOD thank you mr sebastian stan

2. bucky telling ayo that Zemo was a means to an end, especially in Wakandan, gave me chills bc it’s a direct parallel of Zemo telling Bucky that he was a means to an end. this show is just so carefully crafted omg

3. karli morgenthau got so much more screentime and development in this episode and i am hERE FOR IT. it’s really intriguing to get a deeper look into the Flag Smasher’s motivations and see a more personal side of their cause as well, especially in the memorial scene.

4. can we just take a moment. we need to take a moment. to just appreciate sam. hIS DIALOGUE IN THIS EPISODE. actually, in the whole show, but eSPECially in this episode just absolutely POPPED OFF. after this episode, I’m fully convinced that sam is 100% without a doubt the best character in this show. whoever wrote his lines is a genius. i love the scene where he talks to Karli, and I hope that they can have another chance to talk without *couGH* jOhn waLKER *coUGH* butting his head in because that conversation was just amazing. i loved how they discussed things they had in common, and a mutual understanding and how sam said “i agree with your fight, but not the way you’re fighting it.” this line was so good. and literally every other part of that conversation. the entire plot would have fallen to shambles by now if it wasn’t for sam so let’s give this man a round of applause please.

5. while we’re talking about sam, I might as well mention that i was very happy to see him in the falcon suit/wings again. he didn’t fly in episode 3 and i missed the action scenes with the wings. i think I gotta give Sam the most creativity points for the fight scenes in this show because he can fight both in the air and on the ground with a set of wings and weaponize them either way and that’s really cool

6. the dora milaje. I LOVE THEM. omg. i was so happy to see Ayo at the end of episode 3 and they just aSSERTED DOMINANCE in this episode and i loved it. their fighting style and weapons and clothing/armor design is just so elegant and mesmerizing to watch. “the dora milaje have jurisdiction wherever the dora milaje find themselves to be” omg. they took no crap from john walker and it was sO SATISFYING

7. on that note, watching walker get his butt kicked by the Dora Milaje while sam, bucky, and zemo just stood there was hilarious and probably one of my favorite scenes in this entire show so far.

8. WHEN AYO DISARMED BUCKY’s VIBRANIUM ARM. OMG. bucky was *surprised pikachu face* and so was I. I really, really hope they run into the wakandans again because there’s definitely a broken trust between them and i want that relationship to be more fully fleshed out and brought to closure too

9. there’s no way i’m making this list without talking about zemo singing to the kids and giving them candy at the beginning of the episode. that kinda gave me “creepy guy who kidnaps kids at the park” kinda vibes but it was also hilarious since Zemo was the only one making any progress on getting info in that scene xd

10. zemo getting away had the same energy as Loki yeeting with the tessaract in Endgame lmao

11. BUCKY WITH A KNIFE. when he caught the knife askdjfk i’ve been waiting for a bucky knife fight this enTIRE SHOW and i finally got it and me very happy  : >>>> (i’m determined to learn how he does the flippy trick w the pocketknife in Winter Soldier)

12. when Karli called Sarah Wilson i got chills. first of all sarah is an absolute fearless qUEEN but also the fact that Karli threatened Sam’s nephews akdfjaksdj pls dont hurt them Marvel

13. the parallel discussions between Zemo and Sam, Lemar and Walker about taking the super soldier serum were really neat. they both hark back to the conversation between Steve Rogers and Dr. Erskine in First Avenger, and i think that was the key turning point in revealing/completely clarifying both Sam and Walker’s true colors, which will now directly contradict each other for the rest of the show. 

14. people say that sam is the character who always tries to reason things out until he has absolutely no options left. i think that really shows through in this episode, and it’s also a good reference point/marker of the other characters’ development. Sam’s determination to talk things through with Karli actually brought them closer together (until sOMEONE decided to intervene coUGH) but his equal determination to keep peace/negotiate with Walker only drove them further apart, which makes me feel that even though karli and the flag smashers are the “villains” in this story, they are definitely not the antagonists (that would be walker, who’s directly trying to work against Sam and Bucky, the protagonists)

15. bucky’s “i know crazy when i see it cuz i am crazy” sent me LOL

16. when lemar died i think everyone just went 0 _ 0. i don’t think Karli intended to kill him when she kicked him into that wall, judging by the way they all ran off after they realized he was dead. tbh i’ve been netural towards lemar this entire time, tho i do appreciate his more pacifist attitude to walker’s explosive impulsiveness. he’s sort of like sam to bucky. but his death really felt like an accidental cross-fire casualty that cause walker to reach his breaking point

17. and lastly the scene with the bloody shield. 0 _ 0. the whole world was watching indeed

alright that’s it for this week. i can’t believe there’s only two episodes left 0 _ 0. to be honest, from our current point of view as fans i feel like this show needs another season, maybe 2. the reason being, I can’t really see a space that Sam and Bucky would fit into in the future of the MCU. Sam, maybe, if he resolves the deal with the Captain America mantle at the end of this show, but I feel like Bucky’s end goal is just to like, retire lmao. but also, the future of the MCU is gonna be really focused on like the more magicky characters like Wanda, Loki and Doctor Strange, and ofc Spiderman, Thor/Guardians and Captain Marvel, and then ppl are saying something abt the young avengers or something. But yeah, as near as i can figure this show seems like it should bring closure for Bucky at least, except i have no clue how they’re going to wrap all this stuff up in 2 episodes. in addition to the mess with Zemo and Walker and Sharon’s whole deal in Madripoor, I hope they also get back to America to bring their issues there full circle, like Bucky’s issue with Nakajima, Sam’s family and their home, and Isaiah Bradley. guess we’ll see, can’t wait for next week already ahhhh

[taexual]

HOLIC - 41 | jb x reader

pairing: Im Jaebum x Reader

genre: enemies to lovers au | roommate au

warnings: mostly angst

words: 4.6k

disclaimer: i do not own the gif, please let me know if it belongs to you, so i can give proper credit

           prev / next

With every day following Jaebum’s dinner with his new agency, his mood kept getting better and better. You loved hearing him sing whenever he was too occupied with whatever he was doing to realize that he wasn’t alone in the room and you loved catching him smile to himself when you were hanging out, even if you were watching a depressing movie.

He was happy. Overjoyed and blisful, even – and you loved everything about it.

But you hated that you couldn’t match his mood.

You still hadn’t told him about the contract you’ve signed and all that it implied. Not because you didn’t want to – well, actually, you didn’t, but this was something you felt like you had to do despite your wishes – but mostly because you’ve never seen Jaebum this happy this many days in a row, and breaking that streak felt like a crime you’d have to go on death row for. You weren’t ready for that.

“How is the planning going?” Jaebum asked you one night when the two of you found yourselves in the kitchen, preparing to have dinner together after work. He was the one doing all the cooking, though, while you sat by the kitchen island, your laptop in front of you; both of you in your usual positions. “For the exhibition, I mean.”

“Oh,” you’d been relatively quiet about the upcoming exhibition, blaming the sudden workload at your own gallery, but you knew you couldn’t escape from talking about it. “It’s… going. I actually haven’t heard from them much. And I didn’t call them myself because I’ve been busy and—”

His phone started to ring. It’s been doing that a lot the past few days and it always rang mid-conversation. Almost as if whoever was calling him waited until you and Jaebum had started to talk so they could dial. You didn’t mind it this time, however, because it saved you from a very awkward and clumsy half-lie.

Somehow, you found yourself suddenly living your whole life inbetween ill-timed phone calls and more and more half-lies.

Sighing, as you waited for Jaebum to finish his call in the hallway, you closed your laptop and decided to take over his job of chopping the vegetables while he was busy.

As soon as you finished with the carrots and moved onto the cabbages, he was back in the kitchen, beaming. God, you’d have been jealous he was doing so well if you weren’t so incredibly happy to see him happy.

“Good news, I’m hoping?” you encouraged.

He nodded. “They want to release “Don’t Touch Me” as a single with an actual music video accompanying it.”

“Oh, God, your debut music video!” you exclaimed, putting the knife down before you hurt yourself because you could not bother looking at the vegetables when Jaebum was standing in front of you, all smiles and glittering eyes. “Do they have any ideas for it? Any particular plot-lines? Shit, this could be your debut as an actor, too.”

“I’m sure they’ll come up with something if I don’t think of anything myself,” he answered, laughing and taking your previous seat by the island. You rotated positions around each other so effortlessly, it felt as though you’d cooked dinner together your whole lives. “But I have the honor of living with a photographer, so I’m hoping she will be the one who tells me if my ideas are too awful to even consider.”

“Hmm,” you grinned. “That sounds quite convenient. Lucky you.”

“Lucky me, indeed,” Jaebum replied with a matching smirk and then leaned over the island to press a kiss to your cheek before standing up to turn the stove on. “Listen, uh—”

“Can you hold on for a moment?” you cut him off, feeling your phone vibrate in your pocket. Of course, you’d get a call right when he had something to tell you. “Someone’s call—oh.”

Jiho had finally reached out. You dipped out of the room – narrowly avoiding Jaebum’s surprised glance at your phone; he was just alarmed by the sudden crestfallen note in your voice when you noticed the caller’s ID – to take the call. You felt guilty immediately after, though. If you’d answered Jiho’s call in Jaebum’s presence, that would have given you an opening to begin the difficult conversation and explain what you had to do in order to get your exhibition.

Clearly, you were still unprepared for that.

“Yeah?” you answered breathlessly once you were in your room, the racing of your thoughts exhausting you not just mentally but physically, too.

“Hi,” Jiho said on the other end of the call. “Is this a bad time?”

You weren’t sure if there was a right time when it came to him.

“No, it’s fine,” you replied.

“Good. I’ve got an appearance for us,” he said it in a grandiose tone, making it seem as though he was announcing that the two of you were about to headline Coachella. “It’s nothing big. One of my friends – well, alright, acquaintances as of right now, but I’m thinking ahead – is hosting this dinner and I’ve been invited with a plus one. Lots of my colleagues are also attending, and I thought, what’s a better way for you to begin your introductions?”

Dinner was an intimate affair, no matter how many people were in attendance or where it was hosted. It involved a group of people sitting closesly at a table, having hushed conversations over glasses of fancy liquor and plates of food you couldn’t even begin to guess the names of. You hadn’t expected that – you’d only considered photography exhibitions to be the ‘public appearances’ mentioned in your contract.

“Uh,” you stammered, losing your train of thought for a moment. “W-when is it?”

“Tomorrow night.”

“It’s tomorrow?” you repeated, surprised. “Is it—will I always be notified of the events I have to attend with you one day before they happen? Because a heads-up would be nice, I might have plans—”

“This is your job,” Jiho said, and although his words were meant to chastise you for even considering turning him down, he still managed to sound laid-back. The indifference in his voice made your skin crawl – he had to have been acting and you dreaded to think what he really wanted to say. “Surely, you can cancel plans for it.”

“I—”

“But I understand,” he added before you could cut in. “Admittedly, I wasn’t planning on going at all but, after some consideration, I decided this would be a great way for you to get acquainted with some of the more prominent names in photography. I won’t call you about this at the very last minute again. This was my bad. Then again, this dinner is more for you than it is for me or the gallery, so I’d take this chance if I were you.”

You bit your lip. “So, this is a freebie, then? It’s not an official public outing?”

“Don’t worry,” Jiho sounded amused now. “It’s both.”

Getting through the dinner with Jaebum was suddenly a chore because, in your mind, you were already dining with Jiho and the people he’d called his colleagues. In all of the time that you’ve lived with Jaebum, never once did you find your mind wandering out of the room he was in, so this was as unusual for you as it was for him.

“You seem distracted,” Jaebum pointed out when he’d already cleaned his plate and you were still toying with the arugula leaves on yours. “Is everything alright? What was that call about?”

“Nothing, it’s fine,” you said automatically. “I’m just thinking.”

“Not about me, I suppose?”

You raised your eyes to meet his grin and instantly felt the corners of your lips stretch into a matching smile. You looked down to get yourself together and then dared to speak, “can I ask you something? It's kind of weird.”

“Sure,” he shrugged his shoulders.

“What are the lengths you’re willing to go in order to make it as a singer?”

He hesitated as soon as he heard the question. You did warn him that it was going to be weird but he was still confused and not quite sure what you wanted to hear from him.

“What do you mean?” he asked slowly.

“I mean…" you started and then stopped abruptly. You didn't actually know what you wanted to him to tell you, either. "I mean, how far would you consider stepping out of your comfort zone to advance your career?”

Jaebum looked around the room before answering, “well, as far as I have to, I guess.”

“Yeah?”

“Well, yeah. I don’t think any achievements can be gained inside of the comfort zone," he said. "You always have to step out of what you’re used to in order to do something meaningful, but, I mean, that way your comfort zone stretches, you know? I… I wouldn’t have even considered talking about my music to anyone who wasn’t Jackson, and now I-I’m going on meetings where we do nothing but discuss my music.”

“Right," you nodded, swallowing slowly. Jaebum noticed the awkward expression on your face and was already starting to suspect that you'd expected him to answer your question differently when you changed your approach, "but, I mean, if you were given a chance to reach your goals faster, would you take it?”

He thought the answer was obvious, so he frowned. “How do you mean?”

“Let’s say you’re given the opportunity to succeed with a virtually non-existent risk of failure. Except, in order for that to happen, you have to do something that you are—that you’re not entirely comfortable with,” you explained – albeit so vaguely, Jaebum had trouble following you – while tracing the pattern of the tabletop of the kitchen island.

“If you’re asking me if I’m going to sleep with anyone to get a Grammy," Jaebum said, "then the answer is no.”

“I—okay," you laughed in surprise. "Good to know. I didn’t mean—well, I wasn’t talking about something that extreme.”

“Well, as long as I get to keep my dignity, I’d say I’d do pretty much anything.”

“Dignity,” you repeated.

“Yes. This is—it’s going to sound weird, probably, but I like to think of it as if—I’m standing on stage, accepting an award for my music, right? And I have to give a speech. Well, what do I say – am I confident enough to tell everyone the truth of how I got here, accepting this award, or am I too embarrassed to admit to the things I had to do in order to get here?" Jaebum spoke. "Basically, what I mean is, if whatever I’m considering now is going to embarrass me in the future, I’d rather not do it. Does that answer your question?”

“Yeah,” you replied, not finding the right words to tell him that he didn’t just answer the question you’d asked. He also answered all the questions you’d never even dare to ask. “Thank you.”

“Anytime,” he rewarded you with another smile before pointing out, “you still look down, though.”

“I—yeah, sorry,” you shook your head, knowing there was no place for you to hide from him here. “I’m just—”

But Jaebum was reaching conclusions faster than you could explain yourself as he squinted his eyes, interrupting you, “is the gallery asking you to—do you have to do something you don’t want to do for your exhibition?”

You were afraid to keep eye contact with him all of a sudden, so you lowered your eyes and were in the middle of shaking your head when you reconsidered. What was the point of lying again when you’d just been given another perfect opening to come clean about Jiho?

“N-no—not exactly,” you said, your heart rate picking up speed. “I just have to step out of my comfort zone, like you’ve said. That’s surprisingly difficult to do.”

He nodded, understanding. “Do you want to talk about this?”

“I don’t want to bother you with—”

“Hey, no, don’t,” he cut you off again, waving his hand dismissively. “You’re not bothering me. We share a living space, so I’d say it’d be nice if we shared our mind space, too.”

You watched him for a moment, appreciating the gesture even though you’d have rather had him ignore everything you were about to say. “That was deep. Is that a new song lyric?”

“Not yet, it’s not,” Jaebum replied, immediately catching your attempt to change the topic, “but maybe it will be if you tell me what’s making you upset.”

Your entire body was buzzing – shaking – with nervous electricity. You realized you had to talk – you’d never forgive yourself for lying to him – but you still wanted to find a way to tell him the truth without revealing all of the details, even though, by definition, that wasn’t exactly the truth at all.

“I’m going to have to—there are these—I will—oh, fuck,” you shook your head, covering your face with your hands as you inhaled deeply. You appreciated Jaebum’s patience while you gathered yourself. “Okay. I’m going to have to attend these events for a little while. For promotion.”

“Okay,” Jaebum nodded. “After the exhibition?”

“No,” you said. “Before.”

He paused, the next question escaping him. Instead of inquiring further like he’d planned before, now he just waited for you to continue.

Prompted by his confused—and yet curious—face, you sighed and tried to explain, “I’ve been told it’s a prerequisite. Basically, they want my name to be somewhat known among my fellow photographers so they can, I don’t know, guarantee that my exhibition won’t send them into complete bankruptcy or something.”

“That—” Jaebum started to reply and then stopped. “Okay, actually, I don’t know if that makes sense. I don’t know how galleries usually work.”

“Well, my gallery never really provided a similar service,” you said. “But, then again, my gallery doesn’t specify in photography. The only photography exhibitions we’ve hosted were by photographers that were already relatively popular. I don’t know much about this either, to be honest, but, I guess, it does make some sense.”

“Hmm,” he nodded. “So, these events you’ll have to attend are making you uneasy?”

“Yes. More or less,” you replied, choosing to walk around the gaping hole with Jiho’s name at the bottom, instead of diving into it head-first. “I’m just not sure if that’s fair.”

“Why not?” Jaebum asked, picking up one of the arugula leaves off your plate since it was clear that you weren’t going to finish eating them. “It’s not like you’re getting any special treatment or anything. It wouldn’t be fair if they took you in and hosted your exhibition immediately.”

“That’s true,” you bit your lip. “I guess I’m just uncomfortable with the fact that I’ll have to make a name for myself as a photographer by doing things that aren’t exactly photography-related, you know?”

“Wait,” he stopped chewing. “What do you mean?”

You didn’t understand which part he was suddenly hung up on. “W-what do you mean, what do I mean?”

“These events,” Jaebum repeated, a frown on his face. “You said they’re for promotion. What do you mean, they’re not photography-related?”

Before long, the room had started to burn, your entire body seemingly catching fire. You couldn’t help glancing at your bedroom as you wished to escape.

“No, they are. They’re completely photography-related. I-I just meant that I would prefer it if I became more well-known by taking pictures,” you said, your throat drying under Jaebum’s confused—suspicious?—gaze. “And now I’m basically trying to become a socialite before I can try to become a photographer.”

“Huh,” he leaned back slightly and you weren’t sure what to make of that because, although he looked like he appreciated your explanation, he also looked like he didn’t like what he’d just heard. “Why did you agree to do this if you’re not—if you don’t want to?”

“Because this is my only shot,” you said simply.

“Oh, come on, do you genuinely believe that?” Jaebum asked, skeptical. “You’re a talented photographer, have some—”

“—confidence, yeah,” you finished for him, nodding your head along to the words you’ve heard several times already. “I keep hearing that but, the thing is, at the end of the day, it’s not really all about confidence. I could believe in myself like no other and still be none the wiser because confidence doesn’t guarantee success. It’s good to have it, but all it does is just ensures I feel less awful when, eventually, this doesn’t work out and I fall down on my ass.”

“I don’t—that’s a very negative attitude,” he pointed out the obvious because he didn’t really have any counter-arguments. Easing your mind about something you were worried about was, as he’d come to learn, unexpectedly difficult. “If you were more confident, you could become successful all on your own. You wouldn’t need any… prerequisites or whatever you want to call them.”

“I could never do it on my own,” you disagreed right away. “I mean, is that not what I’ve been trying to do this whole time, anyway? Taking pictures—”

“—and then not submitting them anywhere,” Jaebum cut in, “yeah, that’s not really it. If you believed in yourself more, you could absolutely make a name for yourself on your own terms. You could even find a different gallery, maybe one that offered you a deal that was a little more acceptable for you.”

“But no one else got back to me!” you replied, feeling your irritation grow. He’d made it seem so easy as if you’d been beating yourself up about this completely pointlessly. “I emailed, at least, a dozen galleries – and there aren’t even that many photography-oriented galleries in our country to begin with – and only one—this one—contacted me.”

“But they did contact you,” Jaebum insisted, his voice rising as well. “They saw your potential. If you’d tried again, maybe more would respond and—”

“They wouldn’t,” you cut him off, not allowing him to plant any more seeds of false hope in your mind.

“Why not? Why are you so sure that they wouldn’t?” he asked. “It’s moments like this when you need to find more confidence in yourself.”

You wanted to keep on repeating that this wasn’t the case because you firmly believed that, if you hadn’t known Jiho prior to your meeting with him at his gallery, you wouldn’t have heard from them at all. This was about connections. About popularity. About, well, money.

“The galleries don’t need artists with potential,” you said slowly, your hands at your sides now, your fists clenched. “They need artists that can make them profit. And if I’m not known, I can’t bring them money.”

“Yeah, but you can find other ways to make yourself known if you don’t feel like doing it this way.”

“I—do you know how long that’d take?”

Jaebum didn’t think that was a problem. “Well, how bad do you want this?”

“What?” you frowned.

“If you want to succeed bad enough,” he explained, “why does it matter how long it’d take?”

“Did you not just say you’d take the opportunity to jump-start your career if you could?” you asked, realizing that you were only getting so angry because, for the most part, he was right.

You did want to host your own exhibition—very much so—but the fear of never succeeding might have blinded you. Jiho’s opportunity was the only one you’ve gotten in your life and it felt like the only one you’d ever get.

“Well, yeah, but I thought we were talking about doing something that wasn’t conflicting with my morals, or whatever,” Jaebum replied. “It clearly seems like you’re uncomfortable with this, so why put yourself through it?”

Because I don’t want you to leave me behind, you wanted to tell him but held yourself back.

“Because it’s still an opportunity,” you said softly, sounding even less convincing—what were you even trying to convince him of?—than before. “An opportunity that I might not get otherwise. This gallery—it’s great. It’s fantastic, the things they’ve offered me, it’s—wow.”

“And yet, you still have doubts?” he asked.

“I guess.”

“Then maybe this gallery is not right for you.”

That sounded too simple.

“Maybe not,” you said. “But I don’t think I’ll ever find an ideal gallery, all of them are going to include some responsibilities I might be uncomfortable with. I just have to man up and pull through, I guess.”

He sighed before saying, “you guess a lot.”

“Yeah,” you shrugged, having noticed this as well. “I’ve never been in a position like this before. Obviously, I don’t know what I’m doing.”

“I don’t know what I’m doing, either,” he countered, “but I don’t look like I’m being tortured.”

Somehow, even though he probably didn’t mean it, his words were akin to a painful punch in your stomach. You must have looked like you were getting beaten up by mean bullies on the daily and that was definitely not what a person on the way to success should have looked like.

“That’s right,” you said, the expression of your face suddenly resembling a brick wall. “You don’t.”

“Look—no matter what happens, I’m here for you, okay?” Jaebum continued, more careful this time. He noticed that he must have phrased himself wrong because all light had suddenly gone out of your eyes – and there wasn’t a lot of it there in the first place. “If you decide you don’t want to work with this gallery and would rather wait for a different opportunity—”

“—then what? You’ll hold my hand like I’m a crying child on the first day of kindergarten?”

He was surprised to hear your harsh voice. “I—”

“Shit, sorry, I’m—I didn’t mean to sound so accusing,” you pulled back in your seat, bringing your hands over your face in a desperate attempt to calm yourself down.

“No, it’s okay,” Jaebum said. “I-I don’t really know what to say to help you. You’re better at this than I am. You’re the perfect balance between gentle encouragement and tough love.”

You shook your head, still hiding your face. “No, I’m not.”

“For me, you are. I’m trying to learn how to be the same for you, but, obviously, I’m not doing a very good job,” he spoke and then stopped, waiting for you to look at him. Once you did, however, he looked down. “Whatever you do, I’m here, okay? But tell me if you need me to hold your hand or if you’d rather have me push you towards something you’re not sure about.”

His words were like the quiet shelter in a raging storm that you’d been seeking and yet you didn’t dare to allow them to comfort you just yet. “What if I’m not sure about what I need?”

“Well, then let me just do this,” he stood up and walked over to wrap his arms around your waist and rest his head on your shoulder, before finishing, “and now we can stay like this until you’re sure.”

Feeling the way your heart dropped as soon as he was holding you, you allowed him to overcome your senses as you asked quietly, “what if it’s never?”

“Then we’ll stay like this until we die of starvation,” he replied, pulling away slightly, “let me just grab a chair for myself, too, yeah?”

You chuckled lightly, allowing him to break the hug and sit down next to you instead. His hands remained on you all through this.

“Thank you,” you said, then, meaning it from the bottom of your heart.

“No need,” he replied. “I didn’t do anything.”

“No, you’re here. Thank you for that.”

“I have no choice,” he said. “I live here.”

You groaned with a playful roll of your eyes. “Oh, way to ruin a moment.”

He laughed, pulling you into a hug again. “I’ve told you, I’m learning it all from you.”

Like with most things in your life, your mind tended to focus on the negative instead of sticking with the positive – and the dinner with Jiho was not an exception. You’d survived it, of course, and, if you had to be completely honest, there were even moments when you found yourself enjoying your time there – you couldn’t help but feel starstruck when you realized that you were sitting at the same table with one of the National Geographic photographers – but, at the end of the day, you could not force yourself to say that your night was great. It had its’ moments, but it was not at all great.

You’d had to sit next to Jiho the whole night – and, although that sounded like you were twelve years old and the teacher had forced you to sit next to the boy you’ve disliked more than anyone in maths class, this was not the case at all; Jiho very literally orbited you the entire night, never stepping more than three feet away from you – and, on top of that, you had to endure him cutting up the steak on your plate for you after your shaky hands had accidentally released the knife one time.

Undoubtedly, Jiho acted in an ambiguous way because he wanted the others to get interested – helping a friend out with their meal was nothing short of friendly, of course -- but, at the same time, the close proximity between you two could have easily suggested a more intimate relationship. And his actions towards you were definitely eye-catching because, at the end of the night, when the aforementioned photographer was inviting Jiho to the newest magazine release party in the city – he was, apparently, the author of the cover picture – he asked Jiho to bring you as well.

You were glad to receive an opportunity to attend an event that sounded much more official than this dinner but the fact that you’d only attend it as Jiho’s plus one still clouded your mood. You wanted to go there as a photographer. Not as the girl Jiho had cut her steak up for.

When you got back to your apartment later that night, you took your shoes off in the hall and sighed yet again – somehow, no matter how many times you exhaled, you still couldn’t seem to get rid of the nasty dust that had gathered in your lungs overnight. You were more than ready to head to bed and lose yourself in peaceful slumber where you didn’t have to worry about ruining your reputation before you even developed one, but then you noticed the creak in the door of Jaebum’s bedroom.

It was dark inside but the streelights outside of his bedroom window illuminated his bed enough for you to see his sleeping features through the gap in the door. You’d only approached to close the door so you wouldn’t wake him while you showered and prepared for bed but you stopped short once you saw him.

He was smiling in his sleep.

And just this sight alone was enough to make you smile too, forgetting whatever existential crisis you’d already braced yourself for. For a moment there, it really felt like, even if you’d return to your bedroom later and the previous anxiety and disappointment would return with you, you would make it. You’d pull through because it’d be worth it. 

You’d survive anything because you believed that, one day, you’d get to wake up in the middle of the night to see Jaebum’s smiling face right next to yours – and you’d realize you’d been smiling in your sleep, too.

    chapter directory

[curechocolattymilk]

Skyrim OC Questionnaire

Saw @jessaryss​ ‘s questionnaire in the tes tag & decided to give it a whirl w my current Dovahkiin!

BASICS

Name: Jeer-Tei Perdes

Race: Argonian

Age: 26-28??

Pronouns: He/They

Eyes: Turquoise-ish

Hair: Red feathers

Skin: black/super dark green?? idk i was playing around w a race menu mod w this lad

Height: 5′7″ - 5′8″ (A bit on the short side for an Argonian)

Weight: 153 LBs

General Physique: Probably average? With a bit of beef since they swing around battleaxes/wear heavy armor

Tattoos, WarPaints & Scars? I’m just plopping down a screenshot bcus i suck at explaining em. Can’t see his scars on this one but they have three long ones over their left(?) eye

Yes I went edgy color scheme with him. No, I have no shame

ABOUT

Dragonborn: YES / NO

Werewolf/Bear or Vampire?: Werewolf time (yet to find a good werecroc mod tho :c)

Occupation: Adventurer, Thief, Listener, Arch-Mage, Harbinger, Mercenary, soon to be Legion solider, all-around bastard

Guild Association(s): TG, DBH, Companions, College of Winterhold & I believe that is it bcus i went back a couple saves in hopes to avoid a CW bug & lost a bit of progress in return oof

Favoured Weapon Class / Type: Two-Handed, Battleaxe

Favoured School of Magic / Type: DESTRUCTION. Tei loves himself some Fire n Lightning. The fire shout is his most used lol

Heavy Armor? Light Armor? Robes?: Heavy Armor

Place of Birth: Unsure still but I’m thinking of having them not have a Hist-connection/not hatching in Black Marsh? Seems like an interesting route but who knows

Place Where They Were Raised: Hammerfell till their teens (Tei was adopted), then they wandered around for a bit w a group b4 landing in Skyrim

Current Location: Since last save? Ivarstead I think

Education / Place of Study: He’s well-read/educated! Mostly learned the smithing trade under his family in Hammerfell, but snuck into a few academic courses during their travels in Cyrodil

Any Teachers / Inspirations? Tei has an elder brother who helped teach him the ropes of adventuring/survival. He helped kickstart the Argonian’s adventure drive.

PERSONAL

Patron Deity (if any): Mora & Hircine I’d say? He doesn’t really worship any of the Nine, though he acknowledges all of them.

Political Alliance (if any): They could care less for the warring factions, but the civil war is starting to inconvenience him, so for the sake of choosing a side & getting it over with, they joined the Empire. (The recruiters were closest & Tei really didn’t want to travel aaalll the way to Windhelm...never really liked the place anyway) Don’t expect him to be extremely loyal/treat them or the Dominion w any respect though lol

Strongest Skills: If going off ones that reached 100: Two-handed, Heavy-Armor, Destruction, Smithing, Speech, Archery

Strengths: Can take a hit physically; Pretty stealthy despite their armor type; Pretty much fearless, will take you head on

Weaknesses: Has piss-poor sense of direction when it comes to Dwemer/Nordic ruins; Pretty much fearless, not much of a danger sense so they can get pretty fucked up; Can’t tank spells that well, despite being Arch-Mage; Doesn’t have an issue following their Draconic or Werebeast nature/Can’t control nightly transformations

Spouses? Flings? Lovers?: Rumarin is their hubby. Though Tei & Ru are discussing among themselves about opening their relationship & adding Kaidan to it, if the warrior comfortable with the idea.

Thaneship (and of where?): Yes; Solitude, Whiterun, Dawnstar, & Falkreath. They’re worming their way into every hold they can though

Most Difficult Quest They’ve Been On? The whole Dragonborn quest was definitely a challenge he completed out of spite for Miraak. However, the Blood of Kings (3DNPC-Slight spoiler warning for the end of this quest? Maybe?) quest fucked w them a bit more mentally. Tei likes to act big & tough but having to acknowledge he’s the only one who went through/remembers all that did mess with them a bit. It’s hard to explain those dreams/nightmares.

Jail Time? So far? Just Cidna Mine because of the Forsworn Quest. Tei is pretty good at not getting caught/using his connections to get away with things.

Largest Bounty Held? I want to say around 5000+? Again, it was Markarth, they did not go down w/o a fight after that false accusation.

How Much Gold Are They Typically Carrying? Too much idk what to spend it on

How Do They Get Gold? Stealing, well-paying jobs, selling treasures they looted from tombs or found in dungeons, that sorta deal

Are Werebeings and Vampires Vile Creatures or Simply Misunderstood?: Simply misunderstood! Until you attack him then it’s game over for you. bud.

Do They Actively Hunt Dragons?: Not really, in a turn of events regarding this character. Part of it is because I just can’t find any spawning vanilla-wise post-Alduin, but for an in character explanation, Tei does feel a strong kinship with dragons. They won’t hunt them/kill them unless it’s a well-paying job/they challenge him first. Which...the latter happens often in the form of Assaults (Deadly Dragons is one fun mod). Hell, Tei refused to kill Paarthurnax. He respects the Dovah, even if he disagrees w the passive way of thinking, & goes to them often to meditate or talk. Not that anyone needs to know that.

Goals In Life? Honestly? Probably boost themselves up the ranks/collect more powerful artifacts for his hoard. If there’s a powerful figure he can challenge he will do it Figuring out how to turn into a dragon would be cool too, i guess

Deepest Regret?: Not hanging out with their kids (Ram-ku & Chases-Starlight) as much. They visit when they can but the urge to travel/explore can keep them away from home for a bit. So everytime they head back to Proudspire/Lakeview they have a ton of treats/toys/daggers to give the two.

Greatest Hope?: Not a shared fact with anyone, but deep down Tei does wish to retire comfortably, he jokes with Inigo that such an idea sounds boring but honestly? They wouldn’t mind it.

Most Embarrassing Moment: Rumarin caught him playing with the dog’s rope toys while in Werewolf form once. The High-Elf refuses to let Tei live it down

Flaws: They don’t really pick up on how rude they can be at times, or maybe they do & just don’t care.; Lack of personal danger-sense in battle/thrill of the kill can often lead to Tei getting some serious injuries if he’s not careful, his continued mastering of Restoration is from licking his own wounds. Sorta ironic considering he fusses over close teammates not being careful after opening up some more.

Fears: After the whole Blood of Kings debacle, Tei developed a deep fear of losing the reality they’re in/losing their loved ones. Alduin may have been defeated but the idea that any & all progress or events he went through can just be taken away regardless sticks with him. It may or may not drive his need to take out anything they deem as a big threat/challenge.

What Makes Them Happy?: Playing with their kids is a big one, Tei always makes times for games. Other than that it’s finding new discoveries/techniques about destruction magic or soul gems, reading a good book (or being read to, if he feels like asking Rumarin), being with his family in general, or going out for a hunt in their werebeast form.

Hobbies: Playing the lute, building his hoard some dragon behaviors just stick regardless of the body you’re in, smithing/creating little decorative daggers, treasure diving

Favorite Locations: Throat of the World/Paarthurnax’s Library (Mod), Lake Ilinalta, Apocrypha

Favorite Holds: Falkreath & Solitude

Eating Habits?: They’re not picky, but tend to prefer raw meat. It’s not an uncommon sight to see Tei just up n swallow a salmon whole while he’s swimming to catch the group some dinner.

Can They Cook?: they leave it to Rumarin if at home/the elf is traveling with them, but they can do it decently enough.

Favorite Food: Tei would kill for Ru’s seared-slaughterfish dish

Favorite Drink: Shein/Velvet LeChance

First Thing They Do At A Tavern?: Ask around for bounties/buy some food for the road

Sleeping Habits?: Due to the beastblood, Tei is very restless when they sleep, often tossing & turning. Ru holding them helps a bit, but on days where he travels, Tei just stays awake until he passes out in an inn/at camp from exhaustion seeing as they don’t toss around as much then.

Cities or the wilds?: The wilds

Pet Peeves?: Being stopped for bounties of like...5 gold. Like dude fuck off or he’s going to make that bounty go higher.; Followers bunching up/not letting them pass, Tei has places to be guys; Also really hates being grabbed/touched unless its close friends/family

Describe Their Bedroom or Home: Their bedroom is rather neat & tidy, same as any personal forge or storage room. Alchemy/Enchanting areas, or any place of study you should watch your step. Especially in the Arch-mages quarters, that place is a total mess.

How Would A Stranger Describe This Person?: A short-tempered, apathetic asshole through & through most likely.

Someone Close To Them? A snarky arse who actually is a bit of a softy with some rough edges. Tei’s no goody-two-shoes, & tends to tease, but he’s not cruel either, y’know?

How Do They Deal With Anger?: He tries to avoid lashing out at others unless they caused it. Usually cools off from big episodes by working at the forge, doing a big bounty or two, or using their Thu’um somewhere till their throat hurts.

How Do They Deal With Failure?: Tei gets broody, frustrated & fidgets with his claws/tail/feathers a lot. Over the years of their adventuring they understand failure is a fact of life, but that doesn’t mean they can’t get upset about it. Don’t take it to heart if they snap at you during this time, they don’t really mean it & just are mad at themselves

How Do They Deal With Loss of a friend or someone close?: Not horribly bad but also not in the best way, they immediately put walls up & avoid conversation for a good while, maybe even leave for a few days. While slowly working with this with the help of Ru & Inigo, Tei doesn’t like being seen in a vulnerable & would most likely brush the event off as “shit happens.” However, it’ll eventually get too much. A good example would be when they lost most of the Brotherhood due to Astrid’s betrayal; Tei would brush it off constantly if it was brought up, pushing it down. One day though, it hit him full force while prepping for a contract, he’s grateful it was just Rumarin there when it happened.

Go Into The Bandit Filled Cave To Retrieve The Lost Amulet For Some Simpleton, or Tell Them Nah Bye?: Depends if they pay well or if Tei can get away w keeping the item, but it’s mostly “Lol that sucks bro”

Opinions on Daedra?: He only respects/likes two (Hircine & Mora), but will shimmy up to the other princes for their artifacts

Companions / Followers

First Follower: Rumarin! Found the dude by accident while running around & immediately fell for the snarky fucker.

Have They Stuck Around?: I mean, the two did get hitched. Rumarin mostly stays at home with their kids now-a-days, as Tei is chasing after more & more dangerous “prey”

Something The Look For In A Follower (or do they hire anyone without question?): Hold their own & does what their told, mostly. The former is the proving factor for him (except in the case of Lucien...but they’re paying to tag along so I guess they can stay)

Followers Over The Years (or whatever amount of time): Rumarin, Zora Fairchild, Gor, Anum-La, Skjarn (but only once), Inigo, Kaidan, Lucien, & Hoth.

Fourth Wall

Any Must Have Mods To Play This Character?: Anything to help boost Argonian experience (Amazing Argonian Traits/Feats, Horns are Forever, Digitigrade Khajiit-Argonian Raptor, Bigger Argonian Tails....We need more Argonian mods), Ordinator, Apocalypse, Wildcat, Deadly Dragons, Real Bosses USSEP, Ultimate Combat SE, TK Dodge, Shout Overhaul. And while you don’t need it to play Jeer-Tei, the Racial Body Morphs SE is fun to help diversify everyone’s height! Until you realize you’re short as hell to most of your party.

Random Screenshot / Drawing: Here’s Kaidan & Rumarin stealing the bed in my bugged saves, gotta redo Kai’s quests again for this tho. F

Level?: 91 I think? First character where I grinded up via Alchemy & Enchantments for perk points for a good while. (Also started out as a light armor build but I quickly decided, “lets become a sneaky tank build!” mid-gameplay) I used to have the People of Skyrim mod on as well, which spawned waaay too many dragons (im talkin about none of them landing even after their hp hit zero bcus the ai got bugged w the amount spawning) & bandit mobs, so that helped too lol. Eventually disabled it though bcus my old laptop was struggling. 

Serious RP or Thomas The Tank Engine Dragons, Fart Shouts, and Kawaii Cat Girl Mods?: Serious RP, though I may add some sillies later

[angelofthequeers]

Hold Me By Both Hands: Chapter 46

Disclaimer: I don’t own ML.

@smolplantmum tagged as requested :)

Chapter 45 | Chapter 47 | AO3 link

Although the plan is to go and visit Master Fu and discuss their next move, a wrench in the form of Adrien’s sleek car pulling up at the Eiffel Tower and honking is thrown into that plan.

“You sure?” Marinette says when Adrien heaves a deep sigh at the sight. “You can transform, you know, and they can’t exactly do anything about it.”

“No, I should go,” Adrien says. “I’ll just be delaying the inevitable. But trust me, Father won’t be stopping me from Chat Noir. That’s one thing I will put my foot down on.”

Marinette smiles and pushes herself on her tiptoes to press a quick kiss to Adrien’s lips. “Good luck,” she says and squeezes his hand. “Text as soon as you’re free, okay? I’ll probably gather the team now instead of waiting until tonight. That reminds me, who’s Petite Souris?”

“Mylène,” Adrien says. “I was…well, I was desperate once I knew that Sanguisuga would get to Luka first. I just kind of knew that the Rat would be helpful. And she was the first one I found. Is that…okay?”

“Of course it is, silly kitty.” Marinette kisses Adrien on the cheek. “Don’t doubt your instincts. Mine haven’t been wrong yet and neither have yours.”

Adrien smiles and looks down at the ground with pink cheeks. “She suits it, doesn’t she?” he says. “I don’t think Alix or Juleka would’ve pulled it off as well as she did.”

“A hundred percent,” Marinette says. “Can you text her and tell her to meet at the hotel, since she knows you’re Chat Noir?”

“Of course. That’s my bugaboo.” His cheeks still dusted with pink, Adrien squeezes her hand, then turns to head for his car, ever so slowly letting go of her hand so that they’re left joined by their pinkies before he inevitably has to fully release her. Once his car has driven off, Marinette lets out a deep sigh and pulls out her phone.

[1:56 pm] miraculass

ladyBIrd: @everyone nvm about tonight, meet at hotel asap, I’m heading there now so I’ll meet Honeybee on the roof

honeybeetch: asdfghjkl ok lb

what does the fox say: kk

mess w turt u get hurt: how’s adrien?

ladyBIrd: facing the music with his dad

mess w turt u get hurt: :|

airhead: I’ll be there soon and I’m bringing Luka

what does the fox say: wait why does luka get to sit in on superhero business

ladyBIrd: I’ll explain everything

honeybeetch: lb hurry the fuck up and get here

what does the fox say: smooth

honeybeetch: fuck off

Marinette can’t help the snort that escapes her at Rena Rouge and Honeybee’s banter as she shoves her phone back into her purse, then takes extra care to make sure that no one can see her behind the Eiffel Tower leg.

“You ready?” she whispers. Tikki darts out and nods.

“All recharged, Marinette!”

“Tikki, spots on!”

.

“Adrien.”

Adrien gulps. If Gabriel’s waiting on the staircase rather than hiding away in his atelier, this conversation is not going to go well.

“H-Hello, Father,” he forces out. Gabriel dismisses Nathalie with a nod, then descends the staircase and pauses directly in front of Adrien. The gleam in his eyes as he takes Adrien’s hand and examines the ring leaves an unsettled pit in Adrien’s stomach. Gabriel’s probably just a Miraculous enthusiast, right? Hence why he’d had the Peacock? But there’s just something…unnerving about his face right now. Something almost greedy and…triumphant?

“All this time…” Gabriel murmurs.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, Father,” Adrien says. “I wasn’t allowed to tell anyone –”

“Oh, I know. We all have our, ahem…little secrets. And I think it’s time I shared mine with you, in light of this new information. Come with me. I have a task for you…son.”

Okay, so Adrien had expected his father to act weird because of the news that he’s Chat Noir. But there’s weird and there’s leading him into the atelier and pausing before the painting of his mother with an odd smile.

“Isn’t she beautiful?” Gabriel says. “You look so much like her. Perhaps that’s why it’s been so hard to look at you. To see Emilie in you every time you’re around…”

“Perhaps that’s why it’s been so hard to look at you.” The words are like a slap in the face, leaving Adrien reeling back with an audible gasp that Gabriel seems to ignore. Plagg darts out and nuzzles against Adrien’s cheek to comfort him.

“It all makes sense. You’re never around when akumas attack. Adrien was never in danger because he had magic to protect him.” The hungry gleam in Gabriel’s eyes as he watches Plagg unblinkingly sends sick shivers down Adrien’s spine. He can’t shake the feeling that something’s going to happen, something massive, and it involves Gabriel, and…is Gabriel really Hawkmoth like they’d suspected all those months ago? It’s a thought he’s shelved for his own sanity, especially after Gabriel had been akumatised, but with the way Gabriel’s acting right now…

“F-Father?” Adrien croaks. “What’s going on?”

For a moment, Gabriel says nothing. Then he sighs and reaches out to press several spots of Emilie’s dress simultaneously, and the ground beneath them starts to descend so rapidly that Adrien yelps and instinctively clings to Gabriel’s arm. For some reason, Gabriel doesn’t even react and shake Adrien off like he normally would.

Okay. Another point for the “Gabriel is Hawkmoth” theory. Who the hell has an elevator installed in their atelier?

Oh. Shit. Gabriel could be Hawkmoth. And the Black Cat Miraculous is literally right next to him. Swallowing around the lump in his throat, Adrien pushes Plagg back into his shirt with the hand containing his Miraculous, wiggling his fingers until Plagg finally gets the message and the ring starts to slip off Adrien’s finger. If it comes down to it, so long as Plagg can get away with the ring and warn the others, that’s all that matters to Adrien right now.

“Come,” Gabriel says once the elevator grinds to a halt before a metal catwalk in a dark room. As he and Adrien cross the catwalk, lights begin to slam on, bathing the room in artificial fluorescence and revealing it to be full of greenery, with an odd, cylindrical object in the middle of the patch of grass.

“Father –”

“You must understand.” Gabriel stops next to the cylindrical thing and grabs Adrien by the shoulders. There’s so much tension in his hands that Adrien can’t help but wonder if he’s two seconds from snapping like a taut string and shaking the life out of his own son. “Everything I’ve done has been for you.”

“F-Father…are you Hawkmoth?” Adrien whispers. A corner of Gabriel’s mouth twitches.

“I never intended to hurt you,” Gabriel says. “One of my mortal enemies, my own son…well, there’s definitely a sense of poetry in that, is there not?”

The nausea bubbling inside Adrien threatens to rise into his throat at the confirmation; the confirmation that his father is the magical terrorist who’s been traumatising Paris all this time. No. No. It can’t be! Having that suspicion all the way back when he’d found the book and the brooch is nothing compared to having the confirmation before his eyes. But how can he warn the others?

“…the Butterfly’s akumas create internal change within the target themselves, and so a transformed Butterfly cannot affect themselves with an akuma.” Master Fu’s words from months ago come swimming to the forefront of Adrien’s mind. “And akumatising themselves when not transformed, without the safety net of the holder’s control over the akuma, can potentially have harmful effects on their psyche. Only a truly desperate holder would akumatise themselves.”

Is Gabriel really that desperate that his own son isn’t enough to stop him from going to these lengths? And just how much of this is Gabriel? How much has he been warped from akumatising himself into the Collector? Judging from the Collector’s single-minded drive to capture and collect everything around him, does that mean that Gabriel’s just gotten so much more obsessive about achieving his goal? If so, how dangerous is he to Adrien right now, and is he seeing Adrien…or Chat Noir?

“You’re a monster!” Adrien bursts out. “You’ve been terrorising Paris all this time, and for what? Ultimate power? A wish that comes with a price?”

“You don’t understand!” Gabriel shouts. Adrien takes a reflexive step back, then freezes when a small purple thing comes zooming out of Gabriel’s jacket and rests on Adrien’s shoulder. A…kwami with butterfly wings? Is this Nooroo?

“Master, you’re scaring your son!” Nooroo says in a little, high voice. “I’m sorry, Adrien. I never wanted to be part of any of this.”

Gabriel visibly takes a deep breath. “Very well. I’ll explain. And then you’ll see, Adrien, why you should help me in my goal.”

“I’ll never help –”

But the cylinder starts to whir and the top of it slides open before Adrien can finish his sentence, to reveal – to reveal – no –

“Mother?” Adrien claps a hand over his mouth to hold back the bile that rises at the sight of Emilie Agreste inside the cylinder – the coffin – with her eyes closed, dressed in a sleek white suit, looking as though she’s just sleeping rather than – rather than –

“She’s not dead,” Gabriel says as Adrien sinks to his knees and rocks back and forth, trying desperately to cope with the sudden influx of emotions coursing through him at the knowledge that his mother isn’t dead, she’s been here all this time, underneath his feet! “Merely damaged by the Peacock Miraculous. You ask why I want the Ladybug and Black Cat Miraculouses? I want to fix the damage done to her, to bring your mother back for you!”

“Did Nooroo tell you there’s a price to pay?” Plagg comes darting out of Adrien’s shirt and hovers in front of Gabriel, thankfully without the ring. “You really wanna mess with the universe, Gabriel Agreste?”

“I know…sacrifice myself –”

“– don’t get to pick who –”

The whole exchange is distorted, like Adrien’s underwater, but it still somewhat registers in his frying brain. Desperate, he fumbles in his pocket for something, anything to ground him, and his fingers close around something bumpy, something that turns out to be a little charm when he pulls it out – Marinette’s lucky charm! Of course! His lucky charm from his lady!

“– universe could take Adrien, but you don’t seem to give enough of a shit about him –”

“– you dare –”

Adrien can’t breathe – why is the light so bright, why is his mother there, taunting him, just out of reach, little butterfly thing in front of him, mouthing something, but he can’t hear, he can’t hear, he can’t breathe, purple light, why did butterfly thing disappear –

“– universe would shift to accommodate – not just as simple as swapping a life for a life –”

“Enough!” Adrien clutches at his hair, yanking, gasping, struggling to draw in oxygen as black spots dance at the edge of his vision. “Why? Why? Why? Just leave me alone!”

“Adrien. Son. Look at me.”

Purely on autopilot, Adrien’s body obeys and when he looks up, his father is no longer there. No, now it’s a man with a silvery head mask, dressed in a purple suit – it’s Hawkmoth, his mortal enemy, his father –

“You can help me,” Hawkmoth says in a voice that sounds a million miles away. “Join me, son, and help me take Ladybug’s Miraculous. Then you’ll have your mother back. Isn’t that what you want?”

Hawkmoth’s words are smooth, honeyed, sticking to Adrien, trying to draw him into their trap. But…no. He’s a hero. He can’t betray his lady, his Marinette, all his friends, the world, just to bring back someone who he’s already started to move on from, because yeah, it hurts to think of Emilie, but he’s been making progress, he’s moving on –

“No,” Adrien gasps around the iron band constricting his chest. “I can’t. I won’t.”

“Don’t be selfish!” Hawkmoth hisses. “You want your mother back! I’m doing this for you!”

“Not like this!”

Hawkmoth sighs and flips open the top of his cane. “Then I have no choice.”

“Adrien, look out!” Plagg cries as an evil, dark butterfly emerges from the cane and makes a beeline for Adrien. He gasps and shuffles back, trying desperately to avoid it, because he can’t give in, he can’t betray everyone, but there’s nowhere to go, nowhere to run, why can’t he get away from this?

“Plagg! Please!” Adrien’s voice cracks as the akuma darts at his lucky charm, and he’s suddenly filled with despair, betrayal, he’s drowning in it, he wants to cry and scream and do something, anything, to fix this, to right this wrong that’s been done against him, he just wants it all to go away, he can’t cope –

“Be strong, kid!” says a voice through the fog as something brushes against his side.

“No!” Hawkmoth bellows, both far away and deep in Adrien’s mind, so deep that he can’t get away no matter how much he gasps and cries and tugs at his hair. “Fine. It matters not. You can just get the ring back for me.”

“No,” Adrien chokes. It’s clear in that moment that he’s not going to be able to hold out, not in his current state of mind, but if he can just hold on, he can give Plagg a chance to get away and then the ring will be safe from Hawkmoth.

“Yes.” The word reverberates through Adrien’s mind, compelling him to obey. “Phantom, you will obey me. I grant you the power to possess others, to control them and bend them to your will. Once you bring me the Ladybug and Black Cat Miraculouses, you’ll have your mother back. Your family will be whole again. Do we have a deal?”

“N-No!”

“Yes!”

“No!”

“Yes!”

“Stopitstopitstopit – get out of my head –”

“Obey me!”

The direct order from his father slams into him both physically and mentally, unbalancing him, and that brief lapse in resistance is just what Hawkmoth needs, and cold, sickly power washes over Adrien, enveloping him, pushing him down into the abyss until everything is dark and he knows nothing…

Devoid of spirit, Phantom rises to his feet. The purple man in front of him grins, and he knows he should hate this man – Hawkmoth – but he just can’t muster up any feelings of hatred. He’s blank, floating in apathy, and it’s actually kind of blissful in a way, to not have to care about anything except what Hawkmoth tells him to do.

“Good boy, Phantom,” Hawkmoth purrs. “You’ll listen to your father, won’t you? Tell me: who is Ladybug? Who are the other Miraculous holders?”

Opening his mouth to follow that order is like a bucket of cold water falling on Phantom; he gasps and staggers back, then fumbles for the pitch-black bracelet around his ghostly white wrist to get this evil butterfly away, far away, and if he can get it to Ladybug – to Marinette – because he can’t betray his teammates, he can’t, if he has a smidgen of resistance then let it be for this –

“Enough!” Hawkmoth says, and Phantom sinks back beneath the waves of apathy, swaying on the spot as he awaits his next order, his resistance thoroughly squashed. “No matter. Phantom, you will simply take me to the other Miraculouses yourself.”

They’ll all be together at the Eiffel Tower, but that won’t be until tonight. And the thought of betraying Ladybug causes the faintest stirrings of some kind of feeling deep in Phantom’s core, so he steers himself as far away from it as possible so that he doesn’t have to leave this blissful apathy.

But if Hawkmoth wants Miraculouses, well, Phantom knows exactly where to go to get them.

[spiffypony]

Some thoughts on amateurism and “high performance” in sport

Alright @thehorsethief and @sanddancingwithanxiety, I have a 5 hour layover and no desire to do real work so here goes. Also fair warning, chrome isn’t playing nice w tumblr on my computer so this is all from mobile.

First let’s define a few things. 1) an amateur is someone who participates (in this case) in a sport without receiving any substantial compensation in the way of goods or currency. 2) high performance is a modifier referring time athletes, programs, strategies etc at the top of their sport (the highest level/most competitive/what have you). 3) a professional athlete is someone who participates in a sport for compensation, often from sponsors.

Additionally, this is coming from my own experience as an amateur equestrian, highschool varsity athlete (basketball and powerlifting), and NCAA Division III athlete (rowing). I am not a professional, I have never been, and, and this is something I’m going to emphasize: I’m not a high performance athlete. While my experience with amateurism in sports runs the gambit from v casual to quite structured, and I do participate in a program that prioritizes competitive success, I really want to be clear, I am not the pinnacle of amateur athlete.

Now then, something I see in a lot of (highschool) programs and a mindset that seems pretty common amongst horsblr is people believing themselves (or their children) in their athletic pursuits to be on a path to or on par with high performance athletes, often pros in the horse world. This is usually an inaccurate notion and in highschool sports it leads to parents pushing their kids into toxic and/or overbearing programs where kids end up burnt out or permanently injured or both before they could ever reach the desired outcome (often getting monetary assistance for college). This affects parents, it affects coaches and it fucks kids up. I have lots of feelings on it having been through it and having witnessed it, but that’s another post quite frankly. In the equestrian world, it is the primary fodder of self identified underdogs and outcasts. In the equestrian world it seems to translate into an overly high regard for one’s own knowledge and training program. This is ultimately less damaging than the highschool case generally. Also as a note here, participation in sports, and especially equestrian sports is a huge privilege of time, money, and location, and participation at a high performance level is even more so and lack of privilege is a major limitation to most people’s participation. That doesn’t diminish the importance of this conversation though.

To give an idea of what I mean, I’m going to compare the commitments of collegiate rowing to dressage in my own life. We’ll start with dressage, currently it’s in the backburner because I’m a college kid with no money and less time, I take lessons with a trainer who has a good name and has proven themself in competition and with other students weekly when I’m home. When I had a horse, I rode 3-4 times a week when I was home (about 4 months out of the year) and at school I take lessons through a club at a h/j barn for about 8 weeks a semester. In highschool I rode 2/3 times a week and spent another 2/3 hours a week on education for dressage. This adds up to an average of ~10 hours a week when you include transit time, it’s easily down to 6 or 7 if you cut the drive time out though. Additionally, dressage didn’t impact much outside of itself in my life, I was already lifting for powerlifting and rowing and it never had an effect on my diet, sleep schedule, or life rhythm. I’d say that this level of commitment is about average, and I don’t mean to disparage it, I love dressage and I do want to consistently improve in it and build skill in it. But that’s nothing compared to rowing. Rowing has two seasons a year, a 6 week season in the fall and an 8 week season in the spring. In season I have morning practice 5 or 6 days a week with one day also having an afternoon weights session and another being back to back practice and weights, so average 8 hours of practice a week, and that’s rounding down. Now add regattas (meets), they are invariably 5+ hour events, and in the spring we have them every weekend, so I’m up to an average 13 hours a week in season. Out of season we have captains practices. 5 days a week, so 5 hours a week. Additionally mid semester breaks we practice between 1.5 and 2 times as much. And over summer and winter break, we’re expected to work out 4 days a week. And that’s just pure practice time. Rowing isn’t like dressage, I get up at 5 am for practices, so I have to go to bed before 11 or I fall asleep in classes, I’m doing Hard physical exercise daily, so I have to make sure I’m not only eating enough, but eating well. Having regattas means I can’t pick up work shifts on the weekends usually. Hour wise it’s double what dressage is, at their most intense, but it’s also a more sustained substantial commitment and it has a material effect in most aspects of my life (food, sleep, work, free time). Oh, and my rowing program? It’s DIII, it’s Collegiate AthleticsLite™️. They can’t even give athletes scholarship for being on the team.

Real high performance athletes are always training, their diets, their sleep schedules, and everything else in their lives revolve around their sport. It’s why NCAA DI sports are rife controversy about whether the technically amateur athletes should be able to receive compensation. Those horror stories you’ve heard about college athletes? That’s DI. The football coaches who make more than double a professor’s salary? That’s DI. NCAA DI Sports are almost without exception high performance programs. They obtain and produce athletes who are at the top of their sport and the consequence of that is that the sport is the athlete’s life.

To be clear, not all equestrian pros are high performance athletes. Even if we rightfully exclude the “pros” who teach beginner lessons to offset board or who schooled the problem lesson horses in their youth, there’s a huge proportion of equestrian pros (specifically trainers and riders) who compete primarily at lower levels and provide basic guidance and safety to their clients. But like high performance athletes, regardless of the level of the sport, the truth remains that for pros, as with high performance athletes, the sport is their life. It’s literally how they live. They certainly do it at a greater scale and more frequently than most of their amateur clients. This has gotten rather lengthy, but really the point is this: if you do not compete at the highest level, you are Not a high performance athlete and quite frankly there’s nothing wrong with that, realistically, you probably don’t want to be a high performance athlete.

What is bad is equating yourself with a high performance athlete. It sets you up for disappointment and digs you into a pit of self pity that’s very difficult to dig out of. In dressage in particular one must be careful, because if one fancies themself on par with a pro, one will be let down always and may eventually determine that the guidelines of the sport they’ve pursued are wrong and be driven from the sport rather than learning to set reasonable goals and balance desired progress with leisure. To be clear, falling into the pit of self pity so to speak is not a moral failing, it’s a mis judgement. And it’s one most people make at some point in their life. Certainly it can have bad consequences, like a loss of drive to critically analyze ones own actions and a tendency to reject any actual outside input, but these things are temporary and are best overcome not through self brutalizations but through careful, constant consideration of the context of our participation in sport.

Now for the actual point: this has an application to conversations about high performance in sport. Namely: your experience as a non high performance athlete is of limited if any significance to such discussions. The things said and suggested in those conversations are also of limited application to your pursuit of your sport. Charlotte Dujardin’s hand tailored Pilates routine is going to do a low level rider whose only exercise is riding about as much good as going for a jog a couple times a week. Michael Jung’s favorite bit in the hands of a novice eventer on their packer is not going to shave even seconds off a xc run. Likewise, just because you wouldn’t run your bucket list foal through a jump chute at a year old doesn’t mean it’s inappropriate for a breeder advertising to higher performance athletes than you to do so on occasion. So. Stop comparing yourselves to high performance athletes. Stop pretending high performance athletes participate the way you do. You are not them. You cannot fathom being them. There’s nothing wrong with your current level of participation but for your own sake, stop equating yourself with that. Accept that your trainer gets the best out of your horse because they are on a different level than you. Accept that you cannot understand the practices of a horse pro through the context of your own experience. When you read prescriptive posts about how to be a better horse person that frustrate you think: “is this targeted at someone of my participation level” no? Move on.

Anyways I’m done now.

Tldr: A lot of equestrians are very casual in their participation if their chosen sport which is fine, good even. This means their experiences are not comparable to pros and those at the highest level. Equating ones casual participation with that of those at the highest level can cause distress to ones self as well as hinder their progress. Additionally it can cause one to make a fool of themself. For the sake of your own enjoyment take stock if your participation level and keep it in mind when setting goals, seeking advice and judging the choices of other athletes.

[angstmatsuscenarios]

Headcanon where Choromatsu is mourning for weeks because of his middle-aged friend who unfortunately passed away of heart disease.

Ooooh this one was so sad but I also liked writing this one, I really hope you enjoy it!

For a bit of background, I imagine this taking place in sort of a timeline where Choro starts working at an office, but still lives at home for the time being.

WARNING for heavy discussion of death under the cut:

Tanaka Jiro was only fifty years old when he passed away. 

His death had come as a shock to all of his coworkers, and understandably so--he was still young, and had always seemed so vibrant and healthy to those around him, always smiling and working hard. The cause had been determined rather quickly, and came as another shocking blow when it was revealed he had heart disease, his condition going largely untreated. He should’ve been taking it easy, but he hadn’t heeded his doctor’s suggestion. Work had been more important to him. 

The funeral had been held the weekend after his death. He had been very well-respected and well-loved, and so had been honored greatly. He would be remembered always. But as weeks passed, everyone in the company slowly returned to normal--it wasn’t that they no longer cared, but it was necessary to go back to work. Life had to continue, hard as it was.

And for some people, it was much harder than it was for others.

Choromatsu had only been working at the company for a few months, but he’d quickly become close friends with Tanaka. Their desks had been next to each other’s in the department, and Tanaka had gone out of his way to make sure Choromatsu felt welcome at the company and helped through the rocky transition of his first few days there. They had chatted, made jokes, and commiserated with each other through the day, which made the workload far more bearable. Most days they ate lunch together, sometimes with other people in the department and sometimes on their own, and some nights after work they’d go get drinks together.

In Choromatsu’s eyes, Tanaka was far wiser and more experienced than him, not only at work but in life. He was married, and he had a child, a son in high school--a family, one to call his own, something Choromatsu had often dreamed of having but never thought he could attain. But the closer they became, the more hope Tanaka instilled in Choromatsu about his own future. According to him, Tanaka had been much like Choromatsu when he was young, getting a later start in his career than his peers and not quite knowing where to begin. But he’d turned his life around, becoming a diligent worker as well as a dedicated husband and father. 

He was everything Choromatsu aspired to be, but more than that, he was a good friend--someone Choromatsu felt comfortable talking to about his hopes and dreams, his vents and his fears, or just sharing a beer and a good laugh after a long workday. Oftentimes, getting to talk to him was the best part of Choromatsu’s day, no matter how much work he had piled up or how tired he was, because at least they could watch out for each other. 

And now...he was gone.

      When Choromatsu had found out, he’d been devastated. It was as if his mind couldn’t process it had truly happened. He remembered going to the funeral, he remembered crying, he remembered listening to others sharing their stories about Tanaka...but it all felt surreal, as if he could’ve dreamed about it. When he went back to work, a hollow ache rose in his chest at the sight of Tanaka’s empty desk next to his. On the day that a new employee started at the company and took Tanaka’s old desk, Choromatsu had spent his lunch break hiding in a bathroom stall, feeling too ill to eat but too numb to cry.

Weeks passed. Choromatsu struggled. He went to work and ran practically on autopilot, robotically carrying out his tasks. He went back home and didn’t say much, letting his brothers dominate the conversation. He couldn’t figure out why it was so hard for him to start feeling normal again. No one else at work seemed to be having as hard a time as him, but then again, he’d barely spoken to anyone else at work. He simply wasn’t close enough to them to feel comfortable opening up.

One evening he was sitting on the back porch, watching the sun set. It was something he hadn’t done in awhile--lately when he got home from work, it was either after the sun had already gone down, or he was too swamped with work assignments he’d had to bring home in order to finish them all on time. He tried to enjoy it, but his mind wandered.

“Hi, dear.”

Choromatsu glanced up to find his mother standing on the porch now, gazing down at him. “Hi, Mom.”

“Mind if I join you?”

Choromatsu shrugged slightly. “Sure. Go ahead.”

Matsuyo settled down beside Choromatsu on the porch, and at first neither of them said anything as they watched the sun dip lower and lower in the distance, the sky darkening. Stars were beginning to emerge, little specks of silvery light far out of reach.

Matsuyo was the one to break the silence. “Dear...we’ve been worried about you. You haven’t seemed like yourself lately. You’ve been working so much, and not eating a lot either.”

Choromatsu kept his gaze forward, though he wasn’t really focusing on the sunset now. “I guess I haven’t really felt like myself lately,” he confided quietly.

“If you want to talk about it, I’m here,” Matsuyo said gently. “You don’t have to go through this all alone. You might feel better if you talked about it.”

Choromatsu knew she was right, but it was hard to sort out his emotions. “I just...I’m not really sure why it’s so hard to move on. No one else at work seems to be feeling this bad, so why is it hitting me so hard?”

“You don’t know that for sure, Choromatsu--everyone mourns differently, and don’t always show it. From what I’ve heard Tanaka was a wonderful person. I’m sure he had many friends at the company who miss him and wish he were still with them. They may just cope with the pain differently than you.”

“Yeah...I guess so.” Choromatsu inhaled and then exhaled slowly. “I didn’t even know him all that long, though--not as long as other people who worked there. I’ve only been there a few months.”

“True, but it doesn’t always take long to establish a strong connection with someone,” Matsuyo reminded him. “You became close friends with him quickly. Friends can mean just as much to a person as family--they can be like family, even--so when we lose them, it’s painful. What you’re feeling is natural.”

Choromatsu fell silent for a moment. What his mother said made sense, but it didn’t lessen that dull ache in his chest that had been present for the past few weeks.

“And maybe,” Matsuyo continued, “it’s possible that you’re a little scared now, too.”

Choromatsu glanced up at her, confused. “Scared…?” he repeated uncertainly. “What makes you say that?”

“There are a couple of reasons. For one thing, this is the first time you’ve ever truly been affected by the death of someone close to you, so it’s understandable it makes you think about mortality, how fleeting life can be. And another...you told me that you really looked up to Tanaka, that he was someone you aspire to be like, the reason you’ve been working so hard and dedicating yourself to the company. But now you’ve seen first-hand what overwork can do to a person. Maybe you’re a bit worried the same could happen to you.”

“I...I don’t know…” Choromatsu sighed, his breath wavering a little. “I guess…that sort of has been on my mind lately, too. It’s really scary to think how one day you could be talking to someone, same as always, making plans to get together later in the week, and then the next day he’s just…” His breath hitched in his throat, tearing welling up in his eyes as he croaked out the rest, “...g-gone. And it makes you think how one day...one day, it could be you. I don’t want that to be me, I don’t w-want to die suddenly one day because I didn’t take care of myself...and I w-wish Tanaka had taken care of himself, because maybe he’d still be h-here…”

At this point his voice was shaking and his tears were threatening to spill over. Matsuyo rested a hand comfortingly on his shoulder and waited as he struggled to compose himself, sniffling and rubbing at his eyes.

“You know,” Matsuyo began, after a moment, “I think it’s very admirable of you to want to be like Tanaka, to have goals for the future. I think that is a wonderful way to honor him. But you can change things--you can take care of yourself, know your limits. I think you would make Tanaka very proud.”

That nearly brought Choromatsu to tears again, but he managed to keep himself together. He knew he’d cry over this again, he knew it would take him time to heal—and that was normal. But somehow, hearing his mother voice his concerns and remind him he could do things differently made him feel just a little better.

“Thanks, Mom,” he finally said, his voice hoarse. It was hard to smile, but he managed to turn the corner of his mouth up just a little.

“You’re welcome, dear.” Matsuyo leaned in and wrapped her arm around his shoulders, and he rested his head against her. “Just remember, you’re not alone in this. Your family is here for you.” Choromatsu had known this all along, of course, but it was nice to be told again.

Together, the two of them watched the sun disappear from sight, the world blanketed in the almost comforting darkness of night. The stars shone, looking especially breathtaking, or maybe it just seemed that way to Choromatsu.

He knew he’d always miss Tanaka. He’d been a good friend, and a good influence. He knew many other people would miss him as well—maybe he should reach out to them, too, so they wouldn’t feel alone in this either.

And he hoped that maybe—just maybe—a small part of Tanaka would live on in him, for the rest of his days.

[be100you]

Vegan (Plant-based) diet

🌐👇:   [FR]   [IT]   [PT]

By definition, a "Vegan diet" 🌱, also called a "Plant-based diet", is a regimen that deliberately includes no animal products and their derivatives, for example animal meat, milk, eggs, etc. 🐖🐄🐔

First, it is important to understand that when we are talking about a "diet" here, it is not a short-term plan to reach a goal, such as 📏 loosing weight or 💪 gaining muscles.

We refer to "diet" as simply the habitual nourishment of a person. It can follow a nutritional plan with the aim of improving a person's health by consciously choosing what and how much to eat of any given food in an intelligent and consistent way.

Let's not fall into the trap of thinking a vegan diet is healthy by definition. You can have a plant-based regimen where you eat only huge amounts of french fries 🍟 and big dark chocolate bars 🍫... But guess what? That's not healthy at all!

In this article we will discuss how to optimise a vegan diet, and what are the possible benefits of such a regimen in the short and long terms.

INDEX

Who can eat a plant-based diet?

— People with health conditions

— Athletes: amateurs and pros

Why a plant-based diet?

— Heart disease

— Cancer, Diabetes, and more

How can I eat plant-based?

— Nutrients

— Daily intakes

Vegan recipes

More whys...

— Environmental protection

— Human welfare

— Animal welfare

— Individual health

___

Who can eat a plant-based diet?

Who?

The short answer: everyone. 🙋‍♂️🙋‍♀️

The long answer:

The Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics, which is the largest organisation of food and nutrition professionals, with more than 100000 credentialed practitioners, made an article stating “These diets [vegetarian and vegan] are appropriate for all stages of the life cycle, including pregnancy, lactation, infancy, childhood, adolescence, older adulthood, and for athletes”. [1]

But of course, as any other diet, to be healthy and adequate it must be correctly planned. 👩‍⚕️👨‍⚕️

People with health conditions

An important disclaimer: people with health or genetic conditions must pay special attention to their diet, since food has a fundamental impact in our health.

A short example: we find carotenoids in carrots, a preformed vitamin A that our bodies convert into a bio-available vitamin A in order to absorb it. But this conversion depends on your body health, like genetics, thyroid, zinc and iron intakes, etc.

So if you have a genetic or health condition causing vitamin A malabsorption, and you don’t eat enough vitamin A, you may start experiencing deficiency symptoms such as “night blindness” (problems distinguishing images in low levels of illumination), or your hand palms may become orangish.

To solve it, the best solution is to consume more foods with vitamin A. It is also a good idea to have the help of an up-to-date professional in the field of nutrition, who will surely be able to help you planning your diet.

The best way to find out if we have deficiencies is to periodically do blood tests, and to pay attention to body signals.

Athletes: amateurs and pros

Athletes need specially designed diets to optimise their performance in the sport they do, professionally or amateurly.

There are many athletes that are vegan. In the link below we see a a list with more than 100 vegan athletes from different sport fields, including football, bodybuilding, snowboarding...

⚽🏋🏂 www.GreatVeganAthletes.com/all-athletes

But what does science tell us about athletes?

The video below, with over 300 combined sources, compares athletic performance among people following an omnivorous diet and those following a vegetarian diet. The conclusion showed no major improvements in the short-term performance, meaning both groups of athletes following well-planned diets had similar results.

But as the studies showed, and the video reminds at the end (with some beautiful visual and sound effects 🤣)

Doesn’t matter how shred, if you’re dead 🔥 [dramatic emphasis here]

The video is referring to the long-term benefits of a plant-based diet, which we discuss in the next section.

If you are interested, we can give you a personal guidance in understanding the benefits described below, as well as designing your diet:

🍎🍊🥑🌽🍫🥜🥕

www.be100you.com/#nutrition

🍪🥬🍆🥝🥥🍍🍞

___

Why a plant-based diet?

Why?

The short answer: long-term health benefits. 💪

The long answer:

The videos below show evidences from articles published throughout decades of researches in medicine. Instead of citing the articles directly, we show you these videos to make your life easier, but you can still find all the articles in videos’ descriptions. We are not sponsored by them in any way.

One of the largest nonprofit healthcare plans in United States, the Kaiser Permanente, published “Nutritional Update for Physicians” (shown in the video below), in which they state “healthy eating may be best achieved with a plant-based diet, defined as a regimen that encourages whole, plant-based foods and discourages meat, dairy, eggs as well as all refined and processed foods”.

A review of reviews of studies (a big name that simply says it analyzed and condensed information from many different articles) showed that plant-based foods have far more often protective health effects, while animal-based foods have often harmful health effects. The summary of the review is available here:

Heart disease

A wholefood plant-based diet has even been shown to revert heart disease, literally unclogging arteries. The “wholefood” means it is based on foods that are unprocessed and unrefined, or processed and refined as little as possible. The following videos compare many studies of the mediterranean and vegan diets:

Video 1 here: https://youtu.be/uVGpTLMN6w4

Video 2 below:

Cancer, Diabetes, and more

Many studies directly link animal products, like meat and cheese, to higer risks of diseases such as coronary heart disease (the number one killer in the world), breast cancer, colorectal cancer, prostate cancer, type 2 diabetes, insulin resistance, and hypertension. A few sources are listed here:

Colon Cancer ▶️ https://youtu.be/KDRazSapYew

Diabetes ▶️ https://youtu.be/A4vqXj-uHxk

Heart Disease ▶️ https://youtu.be/LXigmGZk5FU

Hormones ▶️ https://youtu.be/lKngv7mL48s

Meat ▶️ https://youtu.be/xlNWQ8L7QoA

Cheese ▶️ https://youtu.be/3yvYFjIlOO4

Milk ▶️ https://youtu.be/rxnBDDqXSjk

And studies in the video below state that people eating less animal products (sometimes called “flexitarians”) tend to live longer:

Do not hesitate to research for yourself in order to better understand all the above claims. Before continuing, we must acknowledge that the above conclusions show many benefits of a vegan diet, but it is not a miraculous cure for everything. They may help many people live healthier and longer, including you, and if you consider it is worth a try we can help you adapt your diet to a plant-based one, just go to our website:

🍎🍊🥑🌽🍫🥜🥕

www.be100you.com/#nutrition

🍪🥬🍆🥝🥥🍍🍞

___

How can I eat plant-based?

A vegan diet can be optimised to give you all of the benefits shown above, and others still. Upgrading your diet to a wholefood plant-based one involves changing habits and adapting patterns we had learned in the past.

A lot of people have unconscious eating habits and don't actually thing about what they eat. They might simply abide to community traditions, follow their group behaviour, or give in to social norms.

Chosing to eat healthier is a decision that must be taken consciously, and using the best available sources of knowledge, so we can avoid short and long term problems.

Nutrients

Since our cultures and traditions are sometimes not good in providing us information on how to eat healthy, we must adapt and learn from professionals and trustworthy sources, therefore assuring we will not have problems related to our diet.

There is a list of recommendations for those eating a wholefood plant-based diet available in this link:

📝🌱 nutritionfacts.org/2011/09/12/dr-gregers-2011-optimum-nutrition-recommendations (updated in 2019)

The recommendations goes over some major nutrients:

Vitamin B12: nutritionfacts.org/video/cheapest-source-of-vitamin-b12 The simplest solution: sumplement. This vitamin is made by bacteria, and since our food nowadays is really clean we will not find it in plants. Even animals raised in industrial farms must suplement because they also eat clean food;

Omega 3: nutritionfacts.org/video/should-vegans-take-dha-to-preserve-brain-function Some plants are rich in Omega 3s, specially linseeds (rich in ALA, more of its benefits: nutritionfacts.org/video/just-the-flax-maam). But since ALA conversion to EPA and DHA may be low, tif you experience deficiency you can get supplements (usually from seaweed oil) to increase your intake;

Calcium: nutritionfacts.org/video/plant-vs-cow-calcium-2 There are also plants with high amounts of calcium, such as collards, kale, broccoli raab (rapini), and even parsley. But many other foods also contain good quantities of calcium, such as squashes, broccoli, and green beans;

Protein: nutritionfacts.org/video/do-vegetarians-get-enough-protein It’s really not a problem at all, even if you are a bodybuilder you can still get all your proteins from plants - just choose the right food for you;

Fiber: nutritionfacts.org/video/is-the-fiber-theory-wrong In a wholefood plant-based diet it will be a non-existent problem. You will eat more fiber, and your digestive system will benefit from it - if you are constipated now, you are not alone: https://youtu.be/DhZFoinQpI0

Daily intakes

To help building your new plant-based diet there is also an idea worth a try: it’s called “Daily Dozen”, which is basically a list containing types of foods (and respective quantities) you should eat in a daily basis.

To check it out, go to nutritionfacts.org/video/dr-gregers-daily-dozen-checklist, or nutritionfacts.org/video/dr-gregers-daily-dozen-checklist-2

Another great tool we recommend using is Cronometer, which helps you calculate not only the intake of macronutrients (carbohydrates, fats, proteins), but also you micronutrients (vitamins and minerals): cronometer.com

We can also help you adapt your diet to a plant-based one, just visit:

🍎🍊🥑🌽🍫🥜🥕

www.be100you.com/#nutrition

🍪🥬🍆🥝🥥🍍🍞

___

Vegan recipes

Below are some selected vegan recipes that you may enjoy. If you have suggestions, send us a message and we may include it here.

Sweet dishes

Chocolate Mousse: iaco.me/post/001

Chocolate Cake: iaco.me/post/001

3-min Cookies: iaco.me/go/cookie

Spelt Blueberry Pancakes: plantstrong.com/plant-strong-recipes/top-engine-2-recipes-spelt-blueberry-pancakes

Salty dishes

Lentil Oat Loaf: www.food.com/recipe/really-good-vegetarian-meatloaf-really-33921

Macaroni & Not Cheese: plantstrong.com/plant-strong-recipes/top-engine-2-recipes-macaroni-not-cheese

Sweet Potato Lasagne: plantstrong.com/plant-strong-recipes/top-engine-2-recipes-raise-the-roof-sweet-potato-lasagna

Plant-strong Burgers: plantstrong.com/plant-strong-recipes/top-engine-2-recipes-plant-strong-burgers

We can also find some “ready-to-use” vegan meal plans here:

🥣🍓 veganhealth.org/meal-plans

Vegan diet: more whys...

Going vegan has positive impacts in other life areas. It includes a vastitude of other reasons, which have each one their respective benefits:

Environmental protection

A study[2-4] from 2018 showed that a vegan lifestyle have many environmental benefits. A documentary[5] from 2014 already showed the same. Some informations they stated:

It can reduce an individual's carbon footprint from food by up to 73%;

Global farmland use could be reduced by 75% (an area equivalent to the size of the US, China, Australia and the EU combined);

Converting grass into [meat] is like converting coal to energy. It comes with an immense cost in emissions;

While meat and dairy provide just 18% of calories and 37% of protein, it uses the vast majority (83%) of farmland and produces 60% of agriculture’s greenhouse gas emissions;

The meat and dairy industry uses 33% of earth’s fresh water;

Animal agriculture is responsible for as much as 91% of Amazon destruction;

The water for the production of one hamburger is equivalent to showering for 2 months (3000 liters of water).

The 2014 documentary[5] shows many more environmental impacts, such as water usage and pollution, land usage and pollution, greenhouse gas emissions, land desertification, species extinction, forests destruction: cowspiracy.com

Human welfare

The logic here is simple: every time you move up in the “food chain”, you loose many of the food that was fed to the being below you. That is on of the reasons animal-based foods have a bigger environmental impact, and that is also one of the reasons many people in the planet do not have food to eat: because most food (grains in special) we produce go to feed the animals we will eat later.

In [6], Dr Walt Willett - professor of medicine at Harvard University - says “we could eliminate the worst cases of world hunger today with about 40 million tonnes of food – yet 760 million tonnes is fed to animals on farms every year”.

Animal welfare

Right now, we kill literally more than 150 billion animals per year[7]. To put it into perspective: if we killed one human for every other non-human animal we kill, there would be none (zero) humans left in less than 19 days.

A picture is worth a thousand words.

This 2 hours long documentary shows the reality of the animal-based foods industry: WatchDominion.com

Altough its content is hard to watch for some people, the shown precedures, utensils and machinery are perfectly legal and standards in the industry.

One probably “easier to digest” documentary is: hope-theproject.com/the-film/the-film

Earthlings is another film talking about ethics and speciesism in the way we treat most animals. A free “anniversary edition” is available here: NationEarth.com

Individual health

To finish this article, we cite a few more documentaries talking about the individual health benefits of a plant-based diets. If you are interested, you can go and binge-watch them all:

🙀 WhatTheHealthFilm.com

💪 GameChangersMovie.com

🍴 ForksOverKnives.com

___

Sources:

[1] “Position of the Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics: Vegetarian Diets”, https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jand.2016.09.025

[2] www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/veganism-environmental-impact-planet-reduced-plant-based-diet-humans-study-a8378631.html

[3] www.theguardian.com/environment/2018/may/31/avoiding-meat-and-dairy-is-single-biggest-way-to-reduce-your-impact-on-earth

[4] www.bbcgoodfood.com/howto/guide/vegan-diet-better-environment

[5] www.cowspiracy.com/facts

[6] www.bbcgoodfood.com/howto/guide/what-would-world-look-if-everyone-went-vegan

[7] thevegancalculator.com/animal-slaughter/

[1813141]

Post 3

The impact of the media ownership on surveillance

Introduction:

Any type of platform which impacts the majority of the public to the extent in which the media does is organized and controlled in a certain way. And it is essential for the public who is consuming the information to understand the intentions of those who own the media. The media conglomerates who provide the content the public chooses to surround itself with are controlled by rich powerful individuals that advertise media platforms as an independent public realm when in reality it is controlled financially and editorially by the state. The question at hand is one of many that need to be answered in order for the public to comprehend how ownership of the media censors the information provided to the world and uses the means it has to surveil the public. Through the use of textual and critical discourse analysis, the following report will discuss the impacts of media ownership on surveillance by discussing the regulation and privatisation of the media, the increase of surveillance capitalism through the media and the knowledge economy.

Methods:

After careful consideration, thematic analysis was not used as it would have required qualitative methods with a dialogue nature such as interview transcript to present a pattern or theme. Although the following report is intended to present a sequence of opinions and academic references that would inherently show an understanding of the influences of media ownership on surveillance. The purpose of using critical discourse analysis to evaluate the impacts of the media ownership on surveillance is to trace for instance, the use of concepts pertaining to the knowledge economy such as big data, consumer profiles, and the digital revolution in order to establish discourse. Foucauldian discourse analysis will also be highlighted throughout the discussion as the report tells a tale of the one group of people setting the terms for what can and can’t be said and done by the powerless in a particular situation. The following situation is the control the public has over the surveillance levels extended into our daily lives through the media platforms we use. The power relationships in society are expressed in the hegemonic approach to control over the public through online surveillance.

Discussion:

Can we trust rich powerful individuals who own the media to use it in the public’s interest? The digital revolution has largely shifted the media focus to online platforms that offer a mass media directed at a mass public audience within which citizens are equal and have an equal right to participate and influence the nature of their society through laws, politics, and economy. However, as it is stated by Gillian Doyle, a finance director of a media firm, “the concept of pluralism embraces both diversity of output(content) and diversity of ownership.”. (Doyle 2002, p. 3) The study political economy of communications examines how media ownership facilitate government policies to influence media behaviour and content. (McChesney 2000) Therefore, the lack of diversity of media ownership not only enables the state to shape public opinion but also retains the right to regulate our ability to communicate through surveillance. The regulation of media in the name of national security and the common good and safety of the public has been an access point for nation states to gain far-reaching control over the activities, statements, interactions and personal affairs of the entire public sphere.

An article relating to surveillance capitalism states “Online platforms, in spite of their innocent-sounding name, are a way of optimising the overlap between the domains of social interaction and profit. Capitalism has become focused on expanding the proportion of social life that is open to data collection and data processing: it is as if the social itself has become the new target of capitalism’s expansion.” (Couldry 2016) Media regulation also presents itself in various ways, ranging from accepting cookies on each site and terms and conditions when making an account, purchasing an item or downloading an app. The following data collection mechanisms enable configurations to tap into a surplus of private information that we hand to them by merely pressing a button. Surveillance capitalism relates to information being exploited to predict the behaviour of the public with reference to trends, political stances and public reactions. The following can be seen through the use of surveillance capitalism in the Facebook and Cambridge Analytica election scheme. These actions have also been taken by the UK government in the Investigatory Powers Act, otherwise known as ‘The Snooper’s Charter’ which in turn keeps track of every citizen’s online social media profiles and browser, messaging and call records.

The neo-liberal utopia is one in which meritocratic society in is full play. The following ideology sustains the beliefs of exercising a knowledge economy where data collection is used to reconstruct and reshapes us into building our self in a certain way. The use of quantitative data enables a better understanding of the public’s viewpoint. Therefore, statistics in relations to the natural and social world are seen through the lens of reason and science. This type of data, often referred to as ‘Big Data’, is introduced as a precautionary tool for national security in an article titled ‘Big Data Surveillance’ which states that “There is a second sense in which data collection in the context of big data surveillance is speculative: that of attempting to  amass an archive that can be searched and sorted retrospectively. The goal is to collect data about everyone, because one never knows who might end up doing something that needs to be excavated and reconstructed (for example, breaking a law). If the archive is complete, according to this logic, then no matter who the suspect is, a relevant data trail can be reconstructed.”. (Andrejevic and Gates 2014, p. 3)

Contribution:

The specific example that I believe embodies the consequences and impacts of misplaced media ownership on surveillance through big data and surveillance capitalism is the infamous Facebook and Cambridge Analytica election scheme. Cambridge Analytica is a data marketing firm that harvests online information to create microtargeted content that may influence audience behavior. During the Donald Trump United States presidential election campaign, the firm had applications on Facebook that were given special permission to harvest data not just from the person who used or joined the app, but the data would  then transfer directly into their entire friend network and extract their friend’s data as well. Such data included status updates, search history and private messages. The scheme only needed to reach a few hundred thousand people to expand into their entire social network which would then scale up to the rest of America. People had no idea that their data was being taken and that they used the data to target voter groups and design targeted messaging to influence opinion. Based on the type of messaging that an individual was susceptible to, they were going to direct that messaging as many times as it takes to influence and shape how they view and think about something. This was a full-service propaganda machine that enabled the unethical use of information with the false pretence of data collection being used for security reasons.

Conclusion:

The digital age has provided new opportunities to any online user. Whether that being staying connected, paving ways for new jobs, entertainment or consumerism. However, as presented in this report, that all comes with the risk of a breach of privacy. We are promised free speech, individualism and self-expression, however we pay for it with the continuous data we blindly provide the media conglomerates. Unless regulation of user privacy is revised, we will be living in a controlled state in which the government is integrated into our personal lives and privacy shall cease to exist.

Word Count: 1,281

References:

Andrejevic, M. and Gates, K., 2014. Big Data Surveillance: Introduction In Surveillance & Society. p.3.

Couldry, N., 2016. The Price Of Connection: 'Surveillance Capitalism'. [online] The Conversation.

Doyle, G., 2002. Media Ownership. London: SAGE Publications.

McChesney, R. W. (2000) ‘The political economy of communication and the future of the field’, Media, Culture & Society, 22(1).

[polar-stars]

is really sad that you have a little block again :( , anyway I'm curious to see an interaction between shigeo and yasu

It’s not really an overall block, as I do have motivation to write. But the current chapter is just, for some reason, really, really challenging to me despite the fact that I know exactly what will happen. I promise you that the follow-up chapter will be a lot easier. 

Also, thanks for requesting, here you go ;w; ! It became much longer than I thought it would, but yeah. 

-

Shokugeki no Kimiko à la carte Series - When only one plays with open cards

“What a tiring annoyance.” Mika groaned as she left her room of their math class together with Yasu. “We ain’t ever gonna need that shit, let me tell you!” A slight, amused smile formed on Yasu’s lips at that but he chose to not reply, as the only thing he could think of would be counting up all the occupations in which math was of even mild importance.

After another frustrated sigh, Mika chose to focus on more pleasant thoughts. Like her next activity for example. She turned her head to Yasu. “Are you going to watch the Shokugeki that’s up today?”

Hiraku Yukihira versus yet another third year whose name didn’t matter because they’d loose anyway was what was up today. And Yasu felt the ends of his mouth sink again.

He knew why Mika wanted to watch the Shokugeki. And it stung.

He forced the ends of his mouth upwards again, so she’d not have to feel confused or possibly even suspicious, as he gave his answer. “I think I am going to pass that one. I still have some work to do later.”

For a second, Mika’s brows furrowed but then she let out a sigh and replied. “Fine then. But I guess that means our ways will separate here.” She pointed to the right. “I gotta go there.”

It took Yasu all his might to keep even the slightest hints of melancholy out of his voice when he nodded. “I know. I hope you’ll have fun, Aldini.” At that Mika gave him a grin, which only tightened the iron ropes that were tied around his heart. “Thank you! See you later, Ibusaki! Greet Chieko-chan from me.”

Elegantly she raised her arm to give him a slight hand wave before she swiftly turned around and walked out of his reach, just like she always did. And just like he always did, he watched her longer than necessary before he finally sighed and turned away as well.

Instinctively he made his way into the direction of the Enomoto-Seminar in order to pick up its most talented member, his best friend Chieko Marui. He often did so, ever since the two entered Totsuki, so no one would question it. Plus he needed some distraction right now and Chieko always has a lot to chat about. Almost everyday there was something that upset her enough to construct an hourly rant about it. Adding to that, one could expect rambles about politics, history, literature, math or science, so really it was fairly easy for Yasu to just walk next to Chieko and nod occasionally while she did all of the conversation. And he was sure that would put his mind off the red haired upperclassman that haunted his head more and more these days.

However just as he took the turn and the positive spirits slowly rose in him again, they were instantly pushed down in a violent manner once Yasu’s eyes fell onto a particular person waiting in front of the library.

Like he wished for, the frustrating redhaired upperclassman disappeared off Hiraku’s mind. However just to be replaced by an equally if not even more frustrating upperclassman.

Yasu felt the usually so calm rivers in his veins beginning to boil, as he grit his teeth and marched towards the older student accompanied by the two mountains that ever-so-often accompanied him.

“What are you doing here?” Yasu almost snarled, which was rather uncharacteristic for him and quite a few people would have probably considered it rather scary.

Shigeo Eizan however did not, and it was evident as he merely turned his head and faced Yasu with what seemed to be a bored expression. Behind him, Katashi Umino’s eyes narrowed as he suspiciously inspected Yasu from head to toe while Taichi Yamada subtly lifted his fist already.

“Oh it’s you.“ Shigeo greeted flatly. “Ibusaki was it, right? Pardon, if I got that wrong.” Unconsciously Yasu balled his fists as he replied. “You know exactly who I am, Eizan. Cut that act.”

Umino cracked his knuckles and gave Yasu a dark glare. “Oi, are ya looking for trouble, first-year?!” Yamada was about to open his mouth as well, but Shigeo made a fleeting hand gesture shutting him up. “Let him be.” He ordered with an unbothered tone and the two let their fists sink immediately.

Meanwhile Shigeo’s sharp gaze traveled back to Yasu and slowly but surely his all-too-typical smirk emerged on his lips. “‘Eizan’ was what you said, right? I’m sorry but if I am not mistaken, I am a year older than you.” He took a step closer. “What uncouth mannerism to speak to upperclassmen in such casual manner. If you allow me to refresh your memories on the customs of this nation; the correct way of addressing me would be ‘senpai’.”

A savage dragon flew through Yasu’s stomach, furiously blowing out raging fires in anger about the very audacity of suggesting Yasu was not familiar with Japanese customs. Invisible to the world, Yasu grit his teeth to keep the dragon down where it belonged and his calm, stoic facade up to the world. “Thank you but I am knowledgeable about my culture.” His voice became cold. “I just don’t believe that you deserve the honour to be addressed as ‘senpai’, Eizan.”

But equally as cold was the amusement that glinted in Shigeo’s eyes, as he purred. “Oh my.” He took another step closer. “Is that you asking me to teach you some respect? Be more careful with your words or I’d feel forced to do exactly that.”

Yasu couldn’t deny that he did have an desire to take a step back, but he forced his feet to stay where they were. “You didn’t answer my question.” He claimed firmly. “What are you doing here?!”

Shigeo backed off again, the smirk not leaving his lips. “I don’t see how that is in any way your business.”

Yasu let out a huff before he decided to make an direct attack instead of chattering around what they both knew this was about. Now he was the one to challengingly do a step forward. “If it is about Chi-chan, Leave!”

Shigeo’s smirk only grew. “And if it is? What gives you the idea that I’d even consider to follow any command of yours?” “I-“ Yasu began, but he was interrupted. “Evaluate the facts, Ibusaki. You’re a measly first-year with barely any power or reputation. I am a member of the Elite 10 and have an astronomic number of contacts and resources to utilise. There is not a single thing that you can possibly threat me with.”

No matter how much Yasu hated it, what’s just been said was indeed hard to deny. But giving up was not an option to consider. “They say you’re smart, then why won’t you understand that she wants nothing to do with you? Stop pestering her!”

While Umino and Yamada exchanged quick, confused glances, as the idea of someone doubting Shigeo’s intellect went a little over their heads, Shigeo himself only shook his head. “If she was as disinterested as you proclaim her to be, I don’t see why you should be as worried as you are.” A dark glee found it’s way into his voice. “Hmmm? Ibusaki?”

The dragon within Yasu got more wild by each second, scratching on his insides to finally be let out. “Keep. Away. From. Her. Eizan.” Yasu growled. But once again Shigeo showed himself to be unimpressed, as he only chuckled in return. “Keep playing the White Knight for her. It will only draw her closer to me.”

Just then, Yamada spoke up. “Marui-chan!” And instantly both Yasu and Shigeo turned their heads to see Chieko leaving the library with a book in her hands and a frown on her face.

“What are you doing here, Shigeo-senpai?!” Chieko spat, but before she could say anything else Yasu already grabbed her by the shoulders and pulled her into his direction. “Come on, Chi-chan we should be going. There’s nothing you have to discuss with Eizan.”

He only lifted his head to throw a menacing glare, that couldn’t even be seen given his bangs, toward Shigeo who, for some reason. only was widely and evilly grinning almost as if he reached some sort-off goal or so. And so Yasu failed to acknowledge Chieko’s scowl in his direction and how she subtly tried to fight herself out of his protecting grasp.