#by all means i should be asleep and ive got a test run of an exam tomorrow

[soul-teller]

im sick and sad, pls send me your headcanons about your favorite characters (they also can be your own characters)

(p.s. also you can send them in my ask box or in replies or reblog this post with them, whatever you like)

there should've been a picture of my cat Jiji, bUT MOBILE TUMBLR NEVER LETS ME POST ANYTHING WITH A PICTURE, HATE HATE HATE HATE

[cozage]

The Daughter's Return: Part 3

Chapter 3: Changes

Start From Beginning | Next Chapter | Table of Contents | Read on AO3

Characters: female reader x Portgas D. Ace Word Count: 3.2k

Ace was with you in your dreams, standing and staring at the sea. 

“Where do we go from here?” you asked, looking at him. 

His brows knitted together in confusion. “What do you mean? Dinner’s on the stove. The baby is still asleep, so-”

“The baby?”

Ace laughed. “Our baby. Don’t you remember?”

“I-” Canonfire in the distance cut off your sentence, and you could see fear all over Ace's face. 

“Go hide,” he said. “I’ll hold them off.”

You raced to the house in the distance; somehow you knew it was yours. You felt nauseous at the thought of being so careless. Of leaving your child alone. 

You were at the front door, stomach churning full of worry, when you woke with a start. Unfortunately, the nausea carried over from the dream. 

Ace woke to your clamoring over him, racing to the bathroom. You barely made it before you began dry heaving into the toilet, only bile coming up. You had thrown everything else up the night before. 

Ace quickly joined you, patting your back and holding you steady. 

“Y/N,” Ace said. 

“I know.” A pit formed in your stomach. You knew what was coming, knew how your life was going to change. “Let’s go see Marco.”

He gave you a smile of relief, thankful he wasn’t going to have to fight you on the matter.

But it didn’t really matter anymore. You knew what was making you sick. And there wasn’t a cure for it. Not an easy one, at least. 

The two of you walked hand in hand to the clinic, where Marco was working in his office. 

“Hi,” you said, smiling at him nervously. “You can run your stupid tests now.”

“You’re still sick?” Marco asked, raising an eyebrow in suspicion. 

“She threw up last night after dinner and this morning,” Ace answers, helping you sit on the examination table. 

Marco sighed, and you could tell he was disappointed that you let this go on for so long. “Any nausea?” He snapped on his gloves and prepared some vials for blood drawing. “Fever?”

“Yes,” you answered. “To both, I think.”

Marco raised an eyebrow, shooting a look at Ace, but Ace only shrugged. 

Marco handed you a sea prism stone to hold while he took your blood, and you suddenly felt very drained. The sea prism was the only way for devil fruit users to get their blood drawn effectively, but you still hated the process.

He hooked you up to a monitor, and gave you a liquid IV to help with your fluids, and then drew some blood from your arm. 

It was quick and painless, but you could feel your stomach churning with anticipation at the results. Your life was about to shift. And there was nothing you could do to stop it.

A piece of you was still hopeful. Maybe it was a fluke. Maybe you really were just sick. But on the other hand, a baby was something that you could be excited for. And dread. You weren’t sure which answer you hoped for, and you considered flipping Izou’s coin to find out. 

“Should have preliminary results in about two hours. So just rest and-”

“Marco!” A panicked voice screamed as a man entered the clinic, his eyes desperately searching for the first commander. “We need you. Now.” 

The urgency in his voice made your heart rate spike, and the monitor next to your bed began to beep excessively.

“What’s going on?” He asked, turning off the machine. An eerie silence covered the room for a moment. 

“It’s bad,” he said. “It’s Thatch. He’s-”

You didn’t hear the rest of it. You ripped the wires and tubes from your body and took off across the ship, sprinting as fast as you could across the deck. 

You followed the crowd, pushing your way through and burning people to force them to let you through. You were heading for the commander’s hall. The sea of people got thicker, but you continued pushing, pushing, pushing. 

Suddenly you saw Izou and Curiel standing in front of the crowd, blocking anyone from going any further. 

“What’s happening?” you yelled, trying to make your voice heard over the panic happening around you. 

“Turn around,” Izou said strictly. “Go back to the deck and wait.”

“Like hell!” you screamed, pushing past Izou. “Let me through! Let me see him!”

Curiel grabbed your arm and pushed you back into the sea of people. “Go back!” he shouted. “Just listen for once!”

“No!” you screamed, pushing again. This time when Curiel grabbed you, you turned your temperature as high as it could go, burning him the instant he touched you. 

You took the split second he pulled away to dart between the two men and broke through their barrier, rushing towards the commander's hall. Rushing towards Thatch. 

Fossa grabbed you as you sprinted through the common room, racing for Thatch’s room. You tried to burn him as well, but he resisted your heat with armament haki and held you firm in his grip.

“Trust me kid, just stay put.” His voice was tight, and it made you pause. You had never seen Fossa show fear or pain, but it was written all over his face now. 

You couldn’t move. You couldn’t breathe. “What happened?” you asked. 

Jozu and Vista emerged from Thatch’s room with solemn looks on their faces. They shook their heads. 

“He’s gone,” Vista said. “Looks like it happened last night. He’s been like that for a while.”

“Dude,” Fossa hissed, tightening his grip as you tried to break free.

“Let me go,” You shrieked, and everyone seemed to simultaneously realize you were there. 

“Fuck, kid.” Jozu’s eyes widened. “What are you doing here? How’d you get through?”

“Thatch!” you screamed, still desperately trying to pull free from Fossa’s grip. “Let me go! Thatch!”

Marco suddenly appeared behind you, and Ace following closely behind him. 

“Where is he?” they both asked, searching the crowd. 

“Marco-” Vista glanced over at you. “He’s in here. Let’s talk somewhere else.”

“How bad is it?” Marco asked. 

Vista and Jozu just shook their heads, and Marco’s entire body deflated in defeat.  

No. If Marco was giving up, then it was bad. Your heart rate drummed in your chest, sending your body into survival mode.

You kicked Fossa in the shin, and then punched him in the stomach. You knew you should’ve apologized, but you didn’t care. You only cared about Thatch. 

His grip slackened from the pain, and you yanked your arm out of his grip, dashing towards Thatch’s room. 

“No!” Jozu shouted, trying to grab you. But you were too quick, and you skillfully dodged away and in through the door. 

The moment you stepped inside, you could smell death. You froze, your blood running ice cold, but your eyes scanned the room. 

It was a scene of horror, you quickly realized. The blood across the mattress was dark and partially dried. And Thatch…oh Thatch. His once jolly and bright face was now pale and dull, his skin looking more like wax than flesh. Deep lacerations covered his entire chest, his shirt covered in tears and cuts. This was a personal and brutal attack. An attack against a person you loved so dearly.  

It was too late. You knew that. You weren’t stupid. The amount of blood alone was enough for you to know. Thatch was dead. He had been for a while.

“No,” you whispered, tears filling your eyes. “Who did this to you?”

You sat next to him on the bloodied bed, not caring about dirtying your clothes. Nothing mattered. Thatch was gone. 

“I’m pregnant,” you whispered, tears streaming out of your eyes and down your cheeks. “I think. Ace doesn’t know. We were about to find out, but then-” you choked on your words, starting to sob now. 

“Where is he?” Your father’s voice boomed as he stepped in the door. He saw you sitting on the bed, sobbing as you looked over at him. You quickly wiped your eyes, trying to pull yourself together. 

“Please don’t make me go.” Your voice broke as you spoke, your eyes silently pleading with him. “Please let me stay.”

Your father looked at you for a few moments, and then nodded in acceptance. 

He turned to the men at the door. “Everyone needs to report to their rooms and stay there until further notice. Commanders, enforce it. Anyone who disobeys is disobeying a direct order from me.” 

Fossa and Vista stared at you, waiting for you to move and follow orders. But you couldn’t move away from Thatch. You couldn’t leave him.

“She’s fine,” your father said. “Leave us.”

The men left you alone with your father, who said nothing as he watched you. 

It was all you could do to keep it together. You couldn’t start crying again. If your father had any suspicion you wouldn’t be able to handle this, he’d send you away. And you couldn’t leave Thatch. 

“He was alone all night,” you whispered. “Nobody even knew.”

“Curiel said he heard some commotion late last night.” Your father sighed, covering his face with his hand. “He just thought it was Thatch coming in drunk.”

He was crying. You had been around him enough to be able to tell from the slight change in his voice. But you didn’t say anything. If you spoke anymore, you probably would start crying again as well.

Instead, you reached out and grabbed Thatch’s hand. Even if he was gone, you wanted him to know you were here. 

That’s when you found it. A few black, wiry hairs, firmly gripped in his fist. 

You let out an involuntary gasp, pieces starting to click into place. You had passed the murderer last night, and he had said something about a dream. A dream that involved a devil fruit.

“Teach.” You breathed out. “It was Teach.”

Whitebeard stared at the hairs. “That’s a big accusation, Y/N. You might want to go off more than-“

“We passed him in the hallway last night,” you said. “He said something about being closer to his goal. He-”

You scanned the room, and then got up and began searching all of Thatch’s drawers and cabinets. 

“It’s not here,” you mumbled, your voice raising in panic. “It’s not here!”

“Y/N,” Whitebeard said. “What isn’t-”

“Thatch’s devil fruit!” you screeched, your hysteria rising. “His devil fruit is gone! The one he found!”

There’s no way Teach would kill for one fruit. There were plenty of them on the Grand Line. You had found one and offered it to him once before, but he turned it down. What could he want with a simple purple fruit?

“He killed-” you broke into a sob, unable to contain yourself, still slamming drawers as you searched. “He killed him over a fruit? No. No! There has to be more! There has to be another reason! His death can’t be so meaningless that it’s over a stupid fruit!”

You fell to your knees and covered your face and cried, unable to contain yourself. You could feel your body temperature rising, steam emitting from you. You could feel yourself gasping for air, just trying to breathe. The room was closing in on you.  

None of this was fair. Thatch was a good person. And now he was dead. There had to be a bigger reason. 

“Marco! I need you in here!” Your father called, and the medic rushed in. You saw him stagger at the door as he assessed the scene that laid out in front of him, and then he kneeled down next to you. 

“We need to get you out of this room, kid.” Marco said. His voice was even, but you could see tears in his eyes. “It’s not good for-”

“I can’t leave him,” you sobbed, pulling away from him and trying to crawl back towards the bed. “He never left me. I can’t- Marco. I can’t-'' You clutched at your chest, your breaths becoming low and rapid. You could feel yourself hyperventilating as you began to think about your future without Thatch. He had always been there. You didn’t know life without him. You didn’t want to.

You knew you had to calm yourself down. Slow, long breaths were what you were supposed to be doing, but you couldn’t get enough air to do them. If you kept panicking like this, you wouldn't be any help to anyone. And yet, Thatch was dead, and you felt like your heart was going to explode. 

“Ace,” you heard your father call, and your eyes waited at the doorway for him to appear. 

Ace suddenly appeared, his eyes focused on you. “Yes sir?”

Marco took out a needle and flicked it a few times. “This might pinch a little bit.”

“She’ll be fine. Go look in your division cabins for Teach,” Whitebeard said. “I want an immediate report.”

Ace nodded. You could see his eyes full of pain before looking back at your father. “Yes sir.”

You felt a small pinch, and the world went black.

--

Only a few minutes must’ve passed, because when you woke up, there was still chaos. You were now out in the commander’s common room, laying down on the couch. You kept your eyes closed at first, trying to listen for any reports. 

“Pops, I know what they both said they saw, but Teach is one of our oldest members,” Blamenco whispered. “And he was under division two. There's something to be said about-”

“Blamenco, son.” Your father’s voice was dangerous. “Be very careful about how you proceed with that sentence.”

“Well-” Blamenco stammered, trying to backtrack. “I wasn’t insinuating anything. I was just…”

“Division One is accounted for,” Marco said. You could hear his footsteps approaching you. “Is she awake yet? I didn’t give her much.”

“Not yet.” Ace’s voice was soft, and you almost flinched. You hadn’t realized he was there. “So every division is accounted for except for ours.”

“And only one person is missing from your division?” Your father clarified.

“Yeah. Teach.”

“I’m going,” you groaned, rubbing your eyes as you opened them. 

“Now hang on-” Marco said. “Nobody said anything about-”

“Teach didn’t follow the rules, and he killed a commander. He killed a brother.” Ace stood to his feet. “I’m going to make it right. I’ll be back soon.”

You grabbed his hand as he walked away, pulling him back to you. “I’m going,” you said more firmly. 

“I dunno, Ace.” Your father looked around the room nervously. “I think we need to let it go. I’ve got a bad feeling about this one.”

So did you, to be honest. Something felt off. But you had to get justice for Teach. If you showed even a sign of doubt, Ace would go without you. 

“We can’t let Teach get away with this,” you argued. “It’s our code. There has to be consequences.”

Your father frowned, looking at the two of you. “It’s a bad idea.”

“So Thatch will never get justice?!” Ace shouted. He was finally starting to crack, you could see it. But you wouldn’t comment on it until later, when you were alone. 

“Please, dad,” you begged. “The two of us can do it.”

Ace whipped his head around and looked at you, baffled by your words. “You are not going.”

“Like hell! Yes I am!”

“No. You’re not.”

“Yes I am!” You scoffed. “What happened to being equals like you promised?”

You saw your father and Marco shoot a look of “I told you so” to Ace, but they said nothing. 

Ace shook his head. “I’ll take care of Teach. I’m his division commander.”

“And I’m your strategist. So unless you have a plan, I’m coming.”

“I’d actually feel better if the two of you went,” your father admitted, but his eyes were directly on Ace. “Just keep each other safe.”

“Deal,” you said. You understood what he meant. Ace was reckless and preferred to do things the dangerous way. It would be up to you to protect him. You could do that. You would keep him alive, no matter what. 

The two of you quickly prepared a small amount of rations and clothes and grabbed a few thousand berries, and then you jumped into Ace’s Striker. You just had to get into the water, and then those results from Marco’s tests wouldn’t matter anymore. You could ignore them for another week or so. This would probably be your last mission for a while, but at least it was with Ace. 

“Let’s go,” you said, and you began to be lowered down. 

Marco’s eyes widened as he saw you leaving, realization hitting him. “Wait! Pops, hang on! Don’t let her go!”

“Stop!” Your father called. “Marco, what it is?”

The ropes stopped their descent. You knew if Marco saw those results, you wouldn’t get off the ship again for at least another year. You couldn’t bear the thought of Ace doing this without you. You needed to do this. For Thatch. 

You reached up and burned the ropes, dropping you and Ace down into the sea below. Ace shot you a confused look as the two of you struggled to hold on to the small boat as it collided with the water. 

“Did you forget we’ll drown if we fall in!?” Ace shouted. 

“Go!” you yelled back. Ace heard the urgency in your voice and immediately obeyed, roaring the engine to life and kicking the two of you off into the horizon. 

You couldn’t look back. You knew you’d only see disappointment, and people arguing whether they should stop you or not. 

You managed to keep your nausea under control, only throwing up over the boat once, so discreetly that Ace didn’t even notice it. It was clear he was deep in thought, his mind a million miles from you. 

The two of you were silent for almost half the day. It wasn’t until the sun was setting that Ace spoke.

“Wanna tell me why you burned the ropes?” He pulled out a sandwich and handed you half, but you declined. It didn’t feel right eating food that wasn’t made by Thatch, and you still felt sick to your stomach. 

You knew you had to tell him. It wasn’t fair to keep this information from him. Even if you could keep it from the crew, you couldn’t keep it from Ace.

And yet, you knew once he found out, everything would change. He would be angry and hurt, he may not even want you around anymore. You weren’t ready for the repercussions of that yet. 

“Marco wouldn’t have let me leave if he checked those test results. And I need to be on this mission. I need to-” your voice broke, and you couldn’t bring yourself to continue talking about it. 

The boat engine died, and you could feel Ace’s eyes on you, full of worry. “You’re really starting to scare me,” he said. “What’s going on?”

“It might be nothing.”

Ace bit his lip, clearly wanting to argue, but he decided against it. “There’s an island not too far from here. We’ll reach it by tonight. We’ll go to the clinic first thing tomorrow to have a doctor check on you.”

“Okay,” you whispered. A pit in your stomach formed, knowing you couldn’t keep up your facade much longer. You could only hope that Ace wouldn’t loathe you when he found out.

--

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[marvel-and-chicago-fan]

Sick Sister

First Tumblr post ever, i work on wattpad but i want to also post my stuff on here. Anyways hope you enjoy

Requested: No

Warnings: Fainting, Hospitals, and one mention of ambulances

______________________________________________________________

Mattie’s Pov

“Mattie” you woke up to Jay pulling your covers off.

“Jay stop, it's so cold in here, did you turn the heat down or something?”

“No, I even turned it up last night cause I swear I could hear you shivering”. Jay said while going to feel Mattie's head.

“Gosh Mattie your burning up”

“I'm going to go grab the thermometer and call will, I'll be back”. Jay said while walking out of your room.

“Alright Mattie, I'm back”.

***

Jay called Will six times in the past hour taking the hint that he was busy or he just didn't want to answer so he called Connor in hopes that he would answer.

“Hello? Jay?” Connors tone confused on why his co-workers brother would call him

“Matilda has a fever of 103.1. I gave her tylenol around an hour ago and doesn't seem like it's working”.

“As her doctor im saying you should bring her in, but if you think she's ok then you can keep her at home”.

“I'm going to bring her in and-”. Jay stopped mid sentence hearing a loud thump. “Mattie, Matilda?”

Connor could hear Jay running up the stairs trying to figure out what happened.

“Jay-Jay, what's going on? Talk to me”

You felt a familiar feeling in your stomach, either it's because you're hungry or you need to throw up the crackers you ate.

As soon as you stand up get really dizzy you try to shake off the feeling but you can't, so you attempt to head down stairs but as soon as you take your next step you feel your body hit the floor and everything goes black.

According to Will and Jay you tend to faint every time you get sick but you don't remember so you just believe whatever they say and go with it.

The first time this happened Jay thought someone broke in since it was 6 in the morning. You swear you heard will yell that it was just you and not a criminal but your brushed it off thinking it was just a dream”

***

“It's Mattie, she fainted aging” .

“Make sure you put her feet up i'll let will know”

Before connor could finish jay hung up to call an ambulance”

***

“What've we got, Maggie”? Will asked as the paramedic handed over the young girl to the hospital.

“Matilda Halstead, 15 years old, found unconscious by her brother… Will you can't handle her, you the hospital protocols, I swear i didn't know”

Will was just left standing there as he watched his little sister being taken care of by other doctors.

***

Wills/No Ones POV

“At this point i think we should just put in the hospital with 24/7 surveillance everytime she gets sick” Will trying to make a joke

“First of all she hates hospitals and needles so that's a no, and i just realized that i forgot to tell voight i wouldn't be there. Haileys probably thought i've gone missing from not answering anyone's phone calls”.

Just then Connor walks in “Ok so she's ok now and you can see her now, she's dealurios but that will wear off soon. I wanted to run a few tests and it looks like she suffered from heat syncope. It looks like it's what causes the fainting every time she gets a high fever” .

“Thank you Connor”. Will replied

“Anytime guys, anytime”.

***

Mattie’s POV

Just then you saw your brothers come in and will told you to stop playing with your iv 

“Ha you two look alike for some reason”

“That's because we're brother mattie” Jay said while coming sit down next to you

“Mattie? But the doctors told me i was matilda am i impersonating someone” You whined

“No Matilda, we call you Mattie for short so you're not impersonating anyone, '' Jay said, trying to contain his laughter.

“Hey, stop laughing at me. Your so mean” You said almost crying

“Oh mattie jay just a 3 year old in an old man's body” Will sighed trying to calm down mattie

***

The rest of the night was filled with mattie making everyone laugh then connor discharged her

“Is she asleep?” Jay says when will comes down stairs

“Yep she finally let herself relax and sleep”

“She's just like you jay”

“And how she's more like you” Jay gasped

“She loves to be babied when she sick just like you” Will chuckled 

“Since you wanna keep coming at me like that you're in charge of waking her tomorrow morning”. Jay commented

“What?”

“See you tomorrow night will”

Will sat there thinking about how he's raising two children instead of 1 little sister.

[hangovercurse]

The Things We Can’t Tell Pete About

Pete invites you to meet his friends from The Dirt and makes you promise not to flirt with any of them, which is a lot easier said than done, especially when Colson Baker acts like that.

Request: “Hey so I love all your writing and I just thought you should know that! But also I’d your requests are on still would you mind writing a youre Pete’s little sister but kells got a crush xx”

Colson x reader

Warnings: Drug use, Cursing

A/N: I know, Dom (Yungblud) wrote the song, but also I am the writer and I say that Y/N wrote it :) Anyways, enjoy. This is only part 1 of what is probably going to be a fun, cute lil series. Also thank you to the anon who sent this! You made my day(s)

Word Count: 2411

| ii | iii | iv | v |

masterlist

New York was lonely without your brother. He had been filming in New Orleans for the past three months, leaving you alone. You had some friends, but Pete was your best friend. You were only eight months younger than him and practically attached at the hip. You supposed going through trauma together would do that to people.

He facetimed you all the time from set, updating you on things in his life, showing you cool stuff from the set, and introducing you to his castmates. You had kept him updated on your music, playing him demos of songs you were writing and getting his opinion on them.

Him being away wasn’t the worst thing in the world, but it definitely sucked for you. So, when Pete texted you that he was having a few friends from the movie over the night he got back, you were ecstatic.

Before you left your apartment to walk to his, he texted you.

You’re not allowed to flirt with any of my friends

You rolled your eyes as you locked your door, preparing a response.

I’ll try my best

Your phone buzzed seconds later.

I’m serious. I don’t trust any of them with you.

And I don’t need that kind of awkwardness in my life

Like if you date one of my friends and it goes badly

I don’t wanna deal with that shit

You chuckled at his chain of texts.

Don’t flirt with your friends because they’re dicks, got it

Don’t worry bro, I know the sibling code

 You came to find out that that was a lot easier said than done. When you walked into his place, everyone in the room turned to look at you. You recognized most of them from your facetimes with Pete, but you doubted they remembered who you were. One who did remember you was Colson, Pete’s new best friend. He made eye contact with you from across the room, a sly grin on his lips. You sent him a small smile, Pete’s text running through your head briefly.

You found your brother lounging on the couch, a huge grin on his face. He was definitely tripping on mushrooms. “Y/N!” He yelled. “This is my baby sister, everyone.”

You rolled your eyes, walking further into the room, grabbing a drink from the cooler, and taking an empty seat on the opposite couch. “I’m less than a year younger than you, Pete.”

You heard a snicker from the one of the guys, looking over to see Colson covering up the smile on his face. “But you’re still younger than me so it counts.”

Everyone went back to their own conversations, which you were thankful for. “Y/N, you remember Colson, right?” Pete motioned to the blond guy.

“Yeah.” You nodded, looking him up and down. His muscle tank exposed the sleeves of tattoos, which seemed to cover every inch of his skin. “Your hair was different, but yeah I remember you.” You opened the beer on the coffee table, taking a swig.

“You’re the musician, right?” He asked you, leaning back onto the couch.

You nodded, “Aspiring musician but, yeah.”

“Oh, she’s great. You should hear her sometime.” Pete butted in, grinning like an idiot at you.

You rolled your eyes but had a smile on your face. “I work primarily as a songwriter and editor right now, but I’m trying to work on putting out some of my own stuff.”

You felt a little intimidated talking to Machine Gun Kelly about music, seeing as he was one of the best in the industry, but he seemed to be genuinely interested in your work. “Well, if you ever want some help or someone to listen to it, I’d be willing.” He flashed a smile, his bright blue eyes sparkling.

“Thanks, that’s really cool of you.” You bit your lip slightly, trying to hide the fact that you were totally breaking Pete’s rule.

Pete sent a glare your way to which you raised your eyebrow. You weren’t really flirting; you were just… making connections. “Anyways,” he cleared his throat, “I’ve been working on this sketch idea, Y/N, and I need your opinion.”

You nodded, letting him talk. “So, I was thinking like, there’s this guy with posters all over his wall. Like life size posters of a bunch of different people. And he falls asleep while doing homework and he dreams about them coming to life. And it plays out like one of those really bad commercials that encourage kids to stay in school and shit. Like the posters are telling him to study for his test, but then there’s this one poster that’s like, very sexy. And she’s just like, talking about hot dogs and everyone else gets really sick of it and one of the other posters tries to like, tear down her poster or something.”

Throughout his description, you got more and more confused. “Pete, that’s not funny that’s just fuckin weird.” His mouth hung open in shock. “Dude, seriously? The big punchline is the playboy poster girl talking about hot dogs until the other poster people get tired of it?”

“Yes.” Pete said, as if it were obvious. “That’s hilarious.” You glanced at Colson with a questioning look on your face. He seemed as unsure of the joke as you were.

“Pete, man, that’s not your best work.” Colson clapped him on the shoulder and you giggled at Pete’s disappointed expression.

“You guys are mean.” He pouted and you two laughed. “Ok, well, how would you make it funny?”

“I don’t know if you can, bro.” Colson’s laugh was contagious. When he laughed his whole body shook, his feet stomping and everything.

“What are the other posters?” You asked, trying to be supportive but knowing this wouldn’t turn out very good.

“Well, I was thinking maybe one is like a video game character. Like that lady from Wreck-It-Ralph. The mean one. And then like a snowboarder who is definitely high, and someone else, I dunno.” He shrugged, taking a hit from the joint in his hand and passing it to you.

“Okay…” You trailed off, looking at Colson for support. You brought the blunt to your lips, inhaling the smoke and bringing it down, letting the smoke leave your mouth slowly. You passed the joint to Colson, who gladly took it, a smirk on his face.

Pete looked between you two at the small interaction, a frown. “So, the posters,” he brought your attention away from the man again, “they’re all really serious about teaching this dude math. But the hotdog girl just keeps talking about hot dogs in like this really high-pitched voice.”

You watched the smoke fall from Colson’s lips, not fully paying attention to your brother.

“Yeah man, I think that sounds funny.” Colson told Pete, his eyes lingering on you for a little longer than they should have. “It could use some work but if anyone can make it funny, it’s you.” Colson punched your brother on the shoulder, but the look he sent you said the exact opposite.

You held in your giggle, taking another sip of your beer.

The rest of the night followed a similar pattern, you and Colson flirting and Pete trying to get in between you two. At one point, after a few more hits of weed and a couple more drinks, Colson brought out a guitar, insisting you play something for him. Where he got the guitar from, you had no idea, but you didn’t ask questions. Instead, you rolled your eyes, insisting that “if I have to play something, so do you.”

Everyone was too caught up in their own conversations to care about the noise, or too drunk. You started strumming, trying to remember the chords to a song you had started writing a few days ago. “There’s no lyrics yet, just a melody I came up with.” You blushed, feeling very self-conscious suddenly.

“Guess I’ll just free style to it then.” He chuckled as you started to strum, your fingers working the strings like they had your whole life.

The blond man closed his eyes, head nodding as you played and thinking of what to rap.

“Watch me, take a good thing and fuck it all up in one night. Catch me, I’m the one on the run away from the headlights.

No sleep, up all week wastin time with people I don’t like. I think, somethin’s fuckin wrong with me.

You smiled as he sang, watching his expressions change as he tried to think up the next line.

Drown myself in alcohol, that shit never helps at all

I might say some stupid things tonight when you pick up this call

I be hearin silence on the other side for way to long, I can taste it on my tongue, I can tell that somethin’s wrong.”

He opened his eyes, looking rather proud of himself. “I had some of those lyrics already, but I just changed ‘em a little. I really liked that.”

You nodded, “That was impressive.” You smiled, looking back down to the guitar when something hit you.

You began to play the same melody but pitched higher to fit your voice.

“Roll me up, and smoke me love

And we could fly into the night

You take drugs, to let go, and figure it all out on your own

Take drugs, on gravestones, to figure it all out on your own.”

You looked up to Colson, watching his expression change, his eyes wide. Pete had a proud look on his face.

“Pete, you are a sucky hype man. You did her no justice.” Colson hit Pete on the arm.

“Whaddya mean, I told you she was great.”

Colson looked over to you, a stupid smile on his face. “Seriously, that was fucking amazing. Like, we gotta write that shit out some day.”

You bit your lip, trying to stop the blush from reaching your cheeks. “Yeah, that’d be cool.” You were trying your best to keep your cool as Colson kept his gaze on you, but you were completely freaking out on the inside.

A little while later, almost everyone was gone except you, Pete, Colson, and Douglas Booth, who joined your conversation not long after your jam session. Pete let out a yawn, directing your attention to the time.

“Jesus, it’s already 4am?” You asked, a frown on your face.

“Why, you got somewhere to be, darling?” Douglas asked you, your face scrunching up from the nickname.

“I have a writing session at 11 am tomorrow. Or, today, I guess.”

Pete reached out to hit you in the head, playfully, which you dodged. “Go to bed, dummy.”

You shrugged, “I’m gonna be dead at it anyways, might as well keep the party going a little longer.”

Douglas rolled his eyes, patting your shoulder. “Be that as it may, I am ending this party and going home. Goodnight, guys. It was nice meeting you again, Y/N. Good to see you guys.” Douglas and the guys did that little hand slap and hug thing before he left.

“I love you both, but I will also be going to sleep. And you should too.” Pete stood up, stretching his arms out before giving Colson a fist bump and leaving to his bedroom.

Once your older brother left, Colson moved to the couch you were on, his arm falling over your shoulders. You looked up at him, raising an eyebrow. “And how can I help you Mr. Kelly?”

He chuckled, shaking his head. “I’m assuming Pete gave us both very similar talking to’s, given the glares you’ve been receiving all night.”

“You mean the “don’t flirt with my friends” talking to or the other one?” You tilted your head, a sly look on your face.

“That’s the one.” Colson laughed through his nose, an adorable smile on his face. You were both considerably high, but you still knew exactly what you were doing.

You moved closer to Colson’s body, “Well then I guess we’d better not do this.” You said quietly, leaning into him. “Or this,” You grabbed his jaw, inches from his face.

“Or this?” He whispered, connecting your lips. You smiled into the kiss, tasting the weed on his tongue. You adjusted your body so you were facing him, his arm that was once around your shoulder now wrapped around your waist.

His other hand grabbed your leg, pulling you up so you were straddling his lap, and your arms wrapped around his neck. His lips seemed to fit perfectly around yours, and you did all you could to keep yourself from moaning into the kiss as his hand began to travel up your leg.

Realization hit you like a brick wall, and you pulled away, your breathing heavy. “Sorry,” you muttered after a few seconds. You climbed off his lap, smoothing out your shirt. “We shouldn’t do that. I shouldn’t have done that.” You smiled awkwardly down at him.

He nodded, the same realization hitting him. “Yeah, that’s not the best idea. Sorry I wasn’t really thinking.”

You shook your head, cheeks still very red. “No, no, no don’t apologize. It was fine, it’s all fine.”

He nodded, looking down awkwardly. “I should get going.” He stood up, landing a little too close to you.

“Why don’t you just sleep here? Pete won’t mind and it’s a lot easier than going home.” You bit your lip awkwardly, taking a few steps back.

Colson scratched the back of his neck. This was a very different demeanor than he had before, and you found it very cute. “Are you sure?”

You nod. “I’ll get you some blankets and pillows.” You moved towards the guest bedroom, a guilty smile on your face. You moved your hand to your lips, feeling where Colson’s lips had graced you minutes before.

You came back to find Colson laying on the couch, one hand behind his head. “We don’t have to tell Pete about that, right?”

You shook your head, a small smile still playing on your lips. You put the pillow behind his head, watching his eyes as he watched your lips. “Stop looking at me like that or I’ll do something else we can’t tell Pete about.” You said quietly, watching him grin. You pulled the blanket over him, leaning down to be level with his face.

“I kind of like the things we can’t tell Pete about.” Colson chuckled, leaning forward to connect your lips again.

[dccomicsimagines]

A Loooooong Time - Wally West x Reader

Requested by Anon - Can you write an imagine where the reader hasn't been touched or had any intimate time with Wally for a loooooong time and she wants to know why and Wally confesses that he's afraid to hurt her during sex cause he can get a little too fast? Thank you!

***

Wally pressed you back against the wall. His lips sealed to yours. You ran your hands up and down his back before slipping your fingers under his shirt to touch his bare skin. He moaned, vibrating slightly under your touch. 

Three, two, one and Wally was suddenly out of your grasp. “Sorry.” He was on the other side of the room with his back to you. 

You sighed in disappointment and frustration. “It’s okay.” You bit your lip, watching his hands vibrate as he looked out the window of your apartment. Gathering your courage, you cleared your throat. “Is something wrong, Walls?”

“What? Something wrong? No.” Wally laughed too hard. A fake laugh. You wrinkled your nose.

“Come on, Walls. We can’t go more than a minute of kissing before you run away.” You wrung your hands. “Is it because what happened last time we...got farther?”

Wally turned to look at you, eyes wide, face flushed. “No. I couldn’t be upset that I hurt you. No way.” A hint of sarcasm slipped into his voice. 

You rolled your eyes. “Wally, you didn’t mean to hurt me. You just moved a little too fast for me, but we can try again. You don’t have to be afraid.” 

“(Y/N), beautiful. I can’t risk it again.” He looked back out the window, leaning against the frame. “Hurting you was the worst thing I have ever done.” 

“Now you’re being overdramatic.” You went to his side and took his hand. “The worst thing you’ve done is mock my cooking skills.” 

Wally snorted. His hand limp in your grasp. “Making me laugh isn’t going to work.” 

“Then what will work, Wally West?” you said with a smirk. “I miss you.” You looked at him with wide, wanting eyes. He choked on his breath. 

“No!” He jerked away from you. “I’m sorry, (Y/N), but no.” He grabbed his coat from the bed. “I’m heading home. I’ll call you.” A gust of wind hit you as he disappeared from your apartment. 

Your shoulders slumped, sinking down to sit on the floor and hugging your knees to your chest. “Wally, why?” Tears threatened to fall from your cheeks, but you kept them back. You wouldn’t pity yourself, not when Wally clearly needed to get over his fear of hurting you.

***

Wally’s heart was in his throat as he zoomed to the med bay on the watchtower. “Where is (Y/N)?” he demanded, skidding to a stop when he came face to face with Martian Manhunter.

J’onn blinked before gesturing for Wally to lower his voice. “They are resting for now. We want them to stay the night.” He stepped aside. Wally rushed through the doorway, going straight to your bedside.

You looked ill. Monitors beeped quietly around you. Wally frowned at the IV in your arm and the blood bag attached to it. He gently took your hand. A throat cleared from the doorway. Wally glanced over to find Dick standing there. “What happened?”

“(Y/N) took three bullets.” Dick bit his lip, moving to Wally’s side somewhat nervously. “They were protecting some kids.” 

Wally’s hand tightened around yours. You shifted slightly in your sleep before relaxing again. “I told you to protect them,” Wally said harshly. “You promised me you wouldn’t let them get hurt.” 

Dick sighed. “Walls, I can’t be everywhere at once. (Y/N) knew the risks and they will recover.” He bumped Wally’s arm. “Besides, you could have protected them yourself if you would have came with us.” 

“Don’t start that again. I’m angry enough that you took (Y/N) with you.” Wally sat on the edge of your bed, studying your face. He brought your hand to his lips, kissing your palm. 

“Try to get some sleep, Walls. It won’t help (Y/N) if you stay up all night,” Dick said, slipping out of the room once he saw he no longer had Wally’s attention.

Wally stared at you for a long time, counting each breath you took. He almost had a heart attack when he got the call you were injured. Why were you always getting hurt? At least this time it wasn’t by him. He swallowed hard.

Time passed, his eyes struggled to stay open. After a mental debate with himself, he carefully laid down beside you. You shifted closer to him, sighing in your sleep. Wally froze, panicked before forcing himself to relax. Resting his arm on your hip, he fell asleep with the comfort you were safe.

***

You felt a heartbeat against your cheek. Wally’s cologne tickled your nose. You took a deep breath, ignoring the pain that floated through your body. Opening your eyes only a little bit, you smiled when you saw the warmth you felt by your side was in fact Wally West himself. 

Joy filled you along with contentment. This was the first time in a long time that Wally would dare cuddle with you. “I should get hurt more often,” you whispered to yourself before closing your eyes again and enjoying yourself.

***

“Wally, I can walk, you know.” You wrapped your arms around his neck as he carried you to your apartment. 

“I know, but I don’t want you to get overtired.” Wally blushed, giving you a tight smile. You nuzzled his neck, giggling when you felt his pulse throb against your nose. “(Y/N).”

“Wally.” You smirked at him. He grumbled, bumping your apartment door open with his hip. “Thank you.” He set you on your couch.

“You’re welcome.” He sat beside you, leaving a wide space between you. “Are you in pain? Do you need your pain meds?”

“No, I’m good.” You smiled at him and took his hand. “Just sit with me.” 

Wally shifted uncomfortably, but stayed where he was. Silence fell between you. It was peaceful. You closed your eyes, relaxing. Wally’s hand stayed in yours. Suddenly, Wally’s stomach growled, breaking the silence.

You laughed. “Hungry?” you asked, opening one eye to look at him. 

“Always,” he chuckled. “Do you want Chinese? I can have it in a flash.” 

“Sure.” You bit your lip. Your heart soared. He was almost like the Wally you first fell in love with. “You know what I want.” 

He got to his feet and started to lean down to kiss you. You leaned up to meet him when he suddenly hesitated, eyes wide. A frown pulled at your lips, pleading with your eyes for him not to regress into his self-doubt. Wally’s eyes shined and he slowly leaned down to press his lips against yours. You didn’t move, too afraid you would scare him off like a rabbit in the woods. 

“I’ll be back soon.” He pulled away too quickly and was gone with a gust of wind. You sighed contently. It was progress.

***

“Ouch, ouch, ouch,” you mumbled as you bent over to turn on the facet of your bathtub. The water ran. You ran your fingers under the stream, testing the temperature. Once it was warm enough, you stood back up. “Ouch, ouch, ouch.” You moved to get out the bottle of bubble bath, gasping when it hurt your wound. The bottle fell to the floor.

Wind rustled your hair as the bottle was suddenly in Wally’s hand. “What are you doing? You’re supposed to be resting.” 

“Yeah, but I feel gross.” You blushed, taking the bottle out of Wally’s hand and dumped some into the tub. 

“Babe, how are you going to get into the tub? Or get undressed?” He blushed redder than his hair.

“I can manage.” You rolled your eyes. Bending down again, you gasped in pain. “I’m fine.” 

“No, you’re not.” Wally helped you up. “Let me help you.” 

You ducked your head to hide a smile. Wally’s hands shook as they moved to your shirt. “Thank you.” 

Wally hummed. You shivered as the cloth of your shirt slid against your skin. He pulled it over your head gently. You hissed slightly. “Sorry.” 

“It’s okay. You didn’t do anything wrong.” A smile pulled at your lips when you saw Wally’s eyes roamed your bare chest. “Like what you see?”

Wally’s face turned as red as his hair. “Always.” He smirked. Slowly, he dropped to one knee to pull off your pants. “I missed this.” 

“Me too.” You ran your fingers through his hair. “Maybe you could join me in the bath like we used to?” He looked up to meet your eye as he tugged down your underwear. “We won’t do anything, because I’m not able to move the way I would like to, but I just want to be held by you, Walls.” A tear slipped down your cheek. “I thought I was going to die.” 

Wally swallowed hard. “When I got the call, I almost vibrated my phone to pieces.” He hesitated for a moment. His face pressed against your stomach. “You scared me.” 

You closed your eyes, enjoying the vibration of his mouth against your stomach. “I know.” You glanced at the bathtub. It was dangerously close to overflowing. “I think we should get into the bath, huh?”

Wally smiled, getting to his feet to pick you up in his arms like you were the most fragile thing in the world. “I think we should.” He stepped into the tub and sat down with you in his lap. 

You gasped. “Wally, you still have your clothes on.” You laughed hard enough to hurt your healing wounds. 

“Oops.” He looked down at himself in genuine surprise. “I got distracted, but this is fine. You’re comfortable, right?” 

“Yeah, I’m good.” You snuggled into him. “I love you.” 

Wally kissed your forehead. “I love you too.” 

***

Weeks passed and you healed. Wally stayed with you the entire time. He didn’t shy away from touching you, even going so far as to sleep next to you. It made you feel like you were on the top of the world. 

Wally’s confidence grew. You saw it in his step and in the way he kissed you. The insecurity that had haunted him for so long was slowly disappearing. 

“Keep your eyes closed, babe.” Wally’s hands covered your eyes for a second before disappearing. You laughed, delighted. 

Things moved around. You heard a lighter flicking on and off. “Wally, was that a lighter?” 

“Maybe.” He chuckled, coming back to your side and leading you toward your bedroom. Your heart skipped a beat. “Okay, open your eyes.” 

You timidly opened your eyes to find your bedroom lit by candles and the bed covered in rose petals. “Oh Wally.” A huge grin grew onto your lips as you looked at him. He blushed, standing there shirtless. His hands vibrated, revealing how nervous he was. 

“I want to try again if you’ll have me.” He smiled sheepishly, finally meeting your eye. You smirked at him.

“Always.” In a move so quick that you almost caught him off guard, you kissed him hard and knocked him back onto the bed. He laughed and kissed you back. You finally had your Wally back, and you will argue he was better than before.

[just-dreaming-marvel]

Love and Medicine ~ 1

MASTERLIST

Word Count: 2,300ish

Summary: You begin your intern year at Avengers Medical Center

You let out a little groan as you turned around. You immediately knew you were naked as the cold wood floor sent chills down your bare body. Slowly opening your eyes, you took in your surroundings. You were home, in the house you had just inherited, boxes still pilled high around the living room you were laying in. Suddenly, someone else groaned beside you. You teased, clenching your eyes shut. The headache you had been ignoring since you woke finally broke free and you realized that your late night drunkenness must have caused you to bring a guy home.

You let out a long breath as you reopened your eyes and looked over at the hopefully-still-asleep man beside you. He wasn’t bad looking at all. You had really done well. He was blonde with a chiseled body. He had to have been at least six foot, which didn’t hurt. He was naked though, all out in the open on your living room floor. Cringing, you sat up, pulling one blanket from the couch to quickly cover yourself before standing and pulling one over him. You stood up silently, and began making your way out of the room. It was your first day of your intern year as a doctor, you couldn’t afford to be late.

You successfully made it to the doorway of the living room without a sound before the floorboard beneath you creaked. You should there, frozen, closing your eyes in hopes that the man sleeping behind you wouldn’t wake. You could hear him turn over, letting a small moan out of his mouth. Waiting a few more seconds, you started going again.

“You know…” the man started, clearly in his morning voice, “it’s usually rude to disappear on someone after spending a night with them.”

You quickly spun around to see him, still laying on his stomach, looking up at you with a sly grin.

“Well,” you cleared your throat, “it’s my house, so it’s not that rude.”

He stood up, not grabbing the blanket as quick as he should have, letting you have another look at him. When you met his eyes again, it was clear that you had been caught staring and that he was enjoying it.

“Why the rush to silently get out of here?” He asked, tucking the blanket around his waist. “Have a husband or a boyfriend you have to hurry and get ready for?”

“Neither,” you responded, tightening your hold on the blanket covering you. “I’m running late for my first day of work. So, if we’re done here, you should go.”

“We don’t have to be done here.”

“I think we do.” You kicked up his shirt, grabbing it, and throwing him at it. “You need to go.” He caught his shirt, slipping it on slowly over his clear cut abs. “So, um, goodbye… um…”

“Steve,” he reached his hand out.

“Steve. Right,” you shook his hand. “Y/N.”

“Y/N.” He smiled. It almost took your breath away, but you couldn’t let it show.

“Yeah.”

“Nice meeting you.”

“Yeah. Bye, Steve.”

You fled up the stairs, hoping that by the time you were done getting ready, Steve would be gone.

~~~

You made it to the Avengers Medical Center just in time to meet up with the other interns in your year. The Chief of Surgery, Dr. Nicholas J. Fury, was leading a small tour to the ORs. He started talking as the interns took in the OR.

“Each of you comes here hopeful. Wanting in on the game. A month ago you were in med school being taught by doctors. Today, you are the doctors,” Fury stated. “The seven years you spend here as a surgical resident will be the best and worst of your life. You will be pushed to the breaking point. Look around you. Say hello to your competition. Eight of you will switch to an easier specialty. Five of you will crack under the pressure. Two of you will be asked to leave. This is your starting line. This is your arena. How well you play? That's up to you.”

He then told each of the interns which resident they were assigned to. You got Dr. Gamora. All of the interns were then taken to the locker room, where each of you were assigned a locker and given scrubs to change into and start your long day.

“Only ten women out of thirty,” you muttered as you slipped your scrubs on.

“Yeah,” the woman with fiery red hair next to you responded. “I heard that one of them was a model. Seriously, like that’s going to help with the respect thing?”

“You’re Natasha, right?”

She nodded. “You’re Y/N?”

“Mhm,” you hummed.

“Which resident did you get assigned to? I got Gamora.”

“Me too.”

“You got Gamora?” A male intern repeated beside you. “So did I. At least we’ll all be tortured together, right? I’m Clint Barton, uh, we met at the mixer. You had a dress with a slit up the side, those shiny heels…” You and Natasha exchanged looks. “Now you think I’m gay.”

“Uh-huh,” Natasha hummed, heading out the door.

“No, I’m not gay! It’s, ah, it’s just that, you know, you were, I mean… You were very unforgettable,” Clint rambled as you both followed after Natasha. You shot him a sympathetic smile before hurrying to catch up with Natasha. “And I’m totally forgettable.”

“Barton, L/N, Romanoff, Valkyrie, Lang,” a doctor called at the door way.

“Gamora?” Natasha questioned that doctor that called you.

“End of the hall.”

The five of you that were called began walking. At the end of the hall, you saw a pretty woman working on paperwork. She didn’t look as threatening as you had heard she was.

“That’s Dr. Gamora?” Natasha wondered.

“From what I heard, I thought she’d look scarier,” the other male in your group of five said. You guessed it was Scott Lang.

“Yeah,” Clint agreed. “I thought she’d be… well, bigger.”

“Same,” you added.

“Maybe it’s professional jealousy,” a woman in your group suggested, Valkyrie, you presumed. “Maybe she’s brilliant, and they say things about her because they’re jealous. Maybe she’s really nice.”

“Please don’t tell me you’re the model,” Natasha said.

“Wait…” Clint said, looking at Nat. “I thought you were the model.”

Valkyrie shot Natasha a look before turning to Dr. Gamora with an extended hand. “Hi, I’m Valkyrie, but everyone calls me Val.”

Gamora looked her up and down, not even moving to shake Val’s hand. “I have five rules,” Gamora stated, clearly unimpressed already. “Rule number one, don’t bother sucking up, I already hate all of you, that’s not gonna change.” She turned and pointed to things on the counter. “Trauma protocol, phone lists, pagers. Nurses will page you, you answer every page at a run. A run, that's rule number two. Your first shift starts now and lasts forty-eight hours.” 

Gamora began walking away with you and the others quickly following, after each of you have grabbed the things off the counter. 

“You’re interns, grunts, nobodies, bottom of the surgical food chain, you run labs, write orders, work every second night till you drop and don’t complain!” She continued. Gamora led you to a door, opening it to reveal a room with bunk beds. “On call rooms. Attendings hog them, sleep when you can, where you can, which brings me to rule number three, if I'm sleeping, don't wake me, unless your patient is actually dying. Rule number four, the dying patient better not be dead when I get there, not only would you have killed someone, you would have also woke me for no good reason, we clear?” There was a brief pause before you nervously raised your hand. “Yes.”

“You said five rules,” you tried to hold back a cringe as you spoke up. “That was only four.”

Suddenly, Gamora’s pager beeped. “Rule number five. When I move, you move.” She ran down the corridor, followed by you and the other interns. “Get out of my way!” She yelled at a few doctor’s blocking the hallway.

You had the others followed Gamora to the ER. There was a bustling trauma room that the six of you entered. There was a young female on the stretcher, already being hooked to the machines.

“What’ve we got?” Gamora asked.

“Savannah Chase, fifteen year old female,” the paramedic still in the room stated. “New onset seizures, intermittent for the past week. ID lost en route. Started gran mal seizing when the ambulance pulled up.”

“Alright, get her on her side, Val, ten milligrams Diazepam.” Val started to do as she was directed while the rest of you watched. “No, no, the white lead is on the right, righty whitey, smoke over fire, a large bore IV. Don’t let the blood haemolyse, let’s go!”

Val injected the young woman with the diazepam and she stopped seizing. A new Doctor entered the room.

“So I heard we got a wet fish on dry land?” The man asked.

“Absolutely Dr. Banner,” Gamora responded.

“Dr. Gamora, I’m gonna shotgun her.”

“That means every test in the book, CT, CBC, chem seven, a tox screen,” Gamora clarified for the interns. “Natasha, you’re on labs, Clint, patient workups, Y/N, get Savannah for a CT, she’s your responsibility now.” Gamora began to walk away.

“Wait,” both Val and Lang called out. Gamora turned back around.

“What about us?” Val asked.

“You two—honey, you get to do rectal exams.”

~~~

You were currently in an elevator with Savannah, the patient, trying to find your way to CT. Since it was your first day at the medical center, you didn’t know where anything was and you were too stubborn to ask.

“You’re lost,” Savannah stated.

“I’m not lost,” you defended. “How are you feeling?”

“How do you think I’m feeling? I’m missing my pageant.”

“You’re missing your pageant.” You wheeled her out of the elevator and around a corner, still not knowing where you were headed.

“The Manhattan Teen Miss? I was in the top ten after the first two rounds. This is my year. I could’ve won.” Savannah sat up as she was wheeled back around the same way. “Hello? You’re so lost. What are you, like, new?”

“I’m— just tell me what happened.”

“I twisted my ankle. I do rhythmic gymnastics, which is like, really cool. Nobody else does it. And I tripped over my ribbon, and I didn't get stuck with someone this clueless. And that was like, a nurse.”

You gritted your teeth, trying not to be over-the-line rude to a patient on your first day. It took you almost another forty five minutes to find CT. You helped her with the scan before taking her back to a room. Before you knew it, it was lunch time. You grabbed some food from the cafeteria, finding your group of interns alone at a table.

“Savannah Chase is a pain in the ass,” you grumbled as you sat down with your tray. “If I hadn't taken the Hippocratic oath, I'd Kevorkian her with my bare hands.” The others around her just stared. “What?”

“Good afternoon interns,” a new doctor came up. “I’m Dr. Maria Hill. It’s posted, but I thought I’d share the good news personally. As you know, the honor of performing the first surgery is reserved for the intern that shows the most promise. As I’m running the OR today, I get to make that choice. I’ve been watching you all and I have to say, you’re all something. The intern I’ve chosen is, Scott Lang.”

Scott coughed up the drink he had been taking. “M-me?” He questioned.

“You’ll scrub in for an appendectomy this afternoon. Congratulations.” Then she left.

“Did she say me?”

“I can’t believe you were chosen over me,” Natasha grumbled. “It’s already clear that I’m a better surgeon that you.”

“Did she say… I’m sorry. What?”

~~~

After lunch, you went back to Savannah’s room to take care of her. As you did, a man and a woman, not doctors, came in.

“Savannah, honey, mom and dad are here,” the woman said, coming over to Savannah’s bedside.

“They gave her a sedative for the CT scan, so she’s a little groggy,” you informed them.

“Will she be alright?” The mother asked.

“Our doctor at home said she might need an operation, is that true?” The father wondered.

“What kind of operation?”

“She’s, um, well, you know what,” you tried your best to sound professional through your nervous stuttering, “I’m not, I’m not the doctor, uh. I am a doctor, but I’m not Savannah’s doctor, so I’ll go get him for you.”

You quickly left the room to go find Gamora. Thankfully, she was at the nurses desk just outside of the room. You hurried over but were too nervous to start speaking.

“What?” Gamora questioned, not looking up from the paperwork she was doing.

“Savannah’s parent’s have questions,” you responded. “Do you talk to them, or do I ask Banner?”

“No, Banner’s off of the case. Savannah belongs to the new attending now, Dr. Rogers, he’s over there.”

You follow in the direction that Gamora gestured to. You only made it a few steps before freezing. The man Gamora gestured to was talking to another doctor. But that wasn’t the reason you froze. Dr. Rogers was none other than your one night stand, Steve. Your eyes widened and you turned to go, but it was too late. Steve glanced your way, having to do a double take. You quickly left, feeling his eyes on the back of you.

“Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit.”

next chapter >

NOTES: Yes, this has been posted before, but I deleted it. I’m trying again. From now on the taglist when be added by a reblog. I will reblog it using my second account, @just-dreaming-marvel-2​. Just so that my main page doesn’t get too cluttered.

If you want to be added to the tag list, please dm me or send in an ask.

[troubatrain]

four times you talked about having a baby + one time you did - k. hayes

a/n: here’s a very cute fluffy 4+1 from my old blog! :)

I.

You watched Kevin on the floor, listening to the babbling toddler in front of him, laughing along with whatever his niece was trying to tell him. His sister had made the trip down to New York, and was out getting lunch with a friend while you and Kevin had offered to babysit. It was the first time you were meeting any members of his family, and you’d only been dating for a few months - but watching Kevin with his niece was doing something to you.

You pull your phone out of your pocket, snapping a photo of the two, “This is too cute.”

“You’re too cute,” Kevin says instantly, his niece walking over to you to be picked up, a grin finding its way to Kevin’s face.

You pick her up kissing the top of her forehead, “I think she’s cuter than both of us.”

You spend the rest of the afternoon in Kevin’s apartment, playing house with his niece. Watching Kevin run around his apartment with his niece was straight up endearing, and you were happy that she liked you too. She’d fallen asleep snuggled between you and Kevin, a couple of goldfish stuck to her Uncle’s shirt and she rested on your lap. By the time Kevin’s sister and her headed back to their hotel, you were absolutely exhausted - not even considering the idea of headed to your own place and opting to crash at Kevin’s.

“Do you think you want kids?” Kevin asks, plopping down next to you into bed, blue eyes looking at you full of hope.

You’d never really thought much about having kids, just thinking that at the time you were too young. It was something you wanted one day but you didn’t know when you wanted that. You’d just started your career and your relationship with Kevin was new but the way he took care of his niece and the way he always took care of you was starting to make you think a little differently.

“Yeah, one day. Don’t get any ideas though,” You scold, waving your finger at Kevin.

“I know, but one day sounds good,” Kevin says, pulling you into his chest.

Kevin lulls you to sleep that night, talking about the future he wants with you. You’d get married, Kevin would prefer in Boston but he’d let you pick regardless. Maybe you’d move to the suburbs, get a house outside of the city with a yard, so you could have some space for your future children. But he told you he’d be okay staying in the city if that’s what you wanted to do. It was romantic to hear him talk about your future like that, deciding that he would just come for the ride.

II.

Kevin’s large hands were tying your skates, while you looked down at him in his stall at MSG. It was Christmas and with Christmas came the family skate that you’d grown to love. The first year, you were terrified, considering you didn’t even know how to skate and you’d only met a handful of Kevin’s teammates.

“Do you think this will be our last one here?” You whisper, low enough so none of his teammates would hear you.

It was a thought that you’d tried to push out of your mind but there was no way you could at this point. The trade deadline was coming in a few months and Kevin was certain he’d be on the trading block. You’d pushed him to talk about it about tons of times but he kept putting it off, knowing he was nervous about a move out of New York.

“If it is, we’ll make it a memorable one,” Kevin places a kiss to your lips, pulling you up to step out onto the ice. 

You watch as Kevin skates around the ice, Marc Staal’s kids chasing after him in the intense game of tag they’d been playing, while you smile at him from the bench.

“He’s so good with them,” Lindsay, Marc’s wife, says to you on the bench, “I think they’re going to miss him if you guys go.”

You nod, know how many dinners Kevin’s had at their place long before you’d even started dating, “I know it’s going to happen but, we haven’t even talked about it.”

“You’d go with him no?” Lindsay asks, trying to gauge how you actually felt about it.

“I mean, yes, he’s the one but-” You start to say only to be interrupted by the woman next to you.

“Just talk to him about it,” Lindsay says, “I’m sure you guys will be okay”

That night you’d been sitting in your shared apartment, a rerun of some terrible reality TV rerun playing in front of you. Kevin was out grabbing ice cream, insisting you spent the night off snuggled up with a movie. Your mind wanders to the conversation you’d had the family skate, and how you felt watching Kevin skate around with Marc’s kids. It was what you wanted and you knew you wanted it with Kevin but you were scared of the future. You’d been so lost in your thoughts you didn’t even hear Kevin walk back into the apartment. A pint of ice cream finding its way into your hands.

“Hey Kev?” You ask, your voice small, “What are we going to do if you get traded.”

Kevin looked confused, “What do you mean?”

“I mean, am I going to stay here or do you want me to go with you?” You ask bluntly, deciding to just get to the root of what’s bothering you.

Kevin takes a deep breath, walking out of the room and into your shared bedroom. You can hear him rummaging through a dresser, or it could have been a nightstand and step back into your living room with a velvet box in his hand.

“I was planning on doing a better job at his, you know, I was going to plan a nice dinner, make sure you’d just gotten your nails done, the whole thing but I think I need to do this now,” Kevin says, dropping down to one knee, “Baby I love you, and I want to be with you. I want to have a family with you, and spend the rest of my life with you by my side - wherever that may take me. Will you marry me?”

You nod, tears threatening to spill from your eyes, flinging yourself forward to kiss Kevin, over and over again, “Did you actually just do that?”

Kevin smiles against your lips, “I’ve been hiding that since the summer.”

You pull back smiling at the man in front of you, “I can’t wait to marry you.”

Kevin grins back at you, “I can’t wait to have a family, we could be like Marc and Lindsay with all those kids running around the ice.”

The idea seemed like a dream to you, but in reality you were getting to live that life with a man who loved and cared about you. Kevin spends the night talking about your future, the plans seeming more definite than the first time he’d done that. Settling on having three kids, and a summer wedding - even mentioning you could get a dog even though he was afraid of them.

III.

You’d ended up following Kevin to Winnipeg and then to Philly easily. You’d been making an adjustment, but Philadeliphia was starting to feel like home more and more everyday. Kevin was happy and he loved his new team - which made it easier for you to follow suit. You’d both started to become acquainted with the city and you knew this was going to be a good place for the two of you.

You bounce the baby on your lip, singing a nursery rhyme while moving around your kitchen, causing Gavin to laugh. You’d ended up babysitting, Claude’s wife, Ryanne, calling you last minute to complain about their sitter canceling their date night. You and Kevin had agreed on a night in, so you offered to take their son for a few hours. You loved Gavin, and quite honestly you spend more time at games playing with him than paying attention to your fiance on the ice.

“I think we should have a boy first,” Kevin says, sitting on the island watching you with the baby.

“I don’t think that’s for us to decide Kev,” You joke, blowing raspberries into Gavin’s cheek, causing the baby to giggle, “Right Gav, tell him, he’ll be happy with what he gets.”

“What do you want?” Kevin asks, holding his arms out for you to pass him the baby.

“A boy doesn’t sound too bad,” You admit, thinking about how many outfits you’d bought for Gavin that you’d love hanging up in a nursery of your own, “What brought this up?”

“You know, we’re getting married soon, and you just look really good singing nursery rhymes in our kitchen,” Kevin admits, “And c’mon you don’t want a little me running around?”

Kevin holds Gavin next to his face with a pout, rubbing his beard onto the baby’s cheeks causing him to giggle and wiggle in Kevin’s enormous hands. It was a sight for sure, and one that often made you think about just letting Kevin knock you up before the wedding.

“I’m not going to be pregnant at our wedding,” You scold, “I’ve spent too much time planning to not be able to drink.”

“You’ve got a good point, we’ll make a honeymoon baby,” Kevin assures you, as if you had a choice.

IV.

Newlywed life was coming to a halting stop the second you touched down in Philadelphia. The summer of bliss that you’d just experienced was about to be burst in with the reality of a new season starting. You’d bought a new place, the space in the city was far more family friendly than the apartment you’d been living in last season. There were plenty of bedrooms, and some outdoor space that still resided in the city. You’d finally finished unpacking, stepping back after hanging up the last of your wedding photos in the living room.

“They look good there,” Kevin says, wrapping his arms around your waist and lifting you off the couch, spinning you around, “You were right, I do like this place.”

Kevin wasn’t entirely on board with moving, but you knew he wanted to start a family and you wanted somewhere in Philly that you would come back to - a real permanent home. It took a little convincing but you managed to get him to crack while you were on your honeymoon.

You had one surprise that came with the house, and it sat in a box in your kitchen. Inside was a pregnancy test - that you’d taken a day before you moved down to Philly for the season. A very tiny jersey, with your now shared last name on the back, a bright number thirteen stitched onto the back. And to complete a very small stuffed Gritty that you had bought on impulse one day. You were excited to finally share the news with Kevin, keeping it a secret while you both handled all the craziness that came with moving and training camp coming up.

“I have something for you,” You say, slipping out of his arms and grabbing the box from the kitchen - dropping it into his lap, “Open it.”

You were on the edge of your seat watching him open the box and pulling the small jersey out, looking down at what was underneath it, “You’re pregnant?”

“I’m pregnant,” You confirm, placing your hand over your stomach.

“You, my wife, you’re pregnant, we’re having a baby,” Kevin blurted out, a goofy grin gracing his face, “Baby, we’re having a baby!”

You laugh, knowing this is the exact reaction you’d get out of your husband, “I take it you’re happy?”

“Easily the best thing that’s happened to me,” Kevin says, grabbing both sides of your face and kissing you over and over again. He spent the next week telling everybody he came in contact with that he was, in fact, having a baby.

Plus One

You hear a large crash, and a chorus of laughs coming from what was supposed to be your future son’s nursery. You sigh, curling your hands around the def-caf tea you’d been drinking, counting down the days until you actually start drinking coffee again, and you walk into the room, a piece of what was supposed to be a crib on the floor, and TK, Nolan and Kevin’s eyes staring at you.

“Sorry,” They all said in unison, guilt across their faces.

You give them a smile, “It’s fine guys, please be careful, and get this done.”

You decided to stay in Philly until you had the baby, the season ending when you’d hit around eight months and the stress of heading up back to Boston just seemed like too much at the time. Now, you were a week until your due date and you and Kevin had pushed everything till now in regards to setting up a place for your son. It was starting to stress you out, and honestly you were grateful for Travis and Nolan’s help, even if it was like having two kids in your house already.

You felt your stomach cramp up and a feeling in your stomach that this baby was coming, you gasp and look at Kevin, your eyes scared, “Kev - I think it’s happening.”

--

Nine hours of labor later, your son entered the world in a way somehow more chaotic than the way Kevin entered your life. Kevin did good, keeping his cool for most of your pregnancy and labor that you were honestly surprised. He finally cried, when he held your baby for the first time, calmly talking to the little boy who he loved probably more than he loved you. You got lucky, in all the craziness of what was going on, Travis and Nolan stayed back and somehow put together all of your furniture in the nursery, even leaving a few gifts behind for your baby boy.

“Thank you for this,” Kevin confesses, the two of you and your son being the only people left in the hospital room, exhausted from the day of visitors, “I mean I knew we’d get here, but I’m grateful we actually did.”

“I hope you’re still grateful when you have to change diapers at 3 am,” You say, knowing the hard part was definitely coming.

“I promised I’d do it, and I will,” Kevin assures you, intending on keeping the promise that you carried that baby for nine months and that he would take on the middle of the night diaper duties.

And you fell asleep that night like you did so many nights before, Kevin rambling about your future, all the things he wants to teach his son. How he can’t wait to teach him to skate, and how he can play whatever sport he wants - or it would be fine if he didn’t play sports at all. Kevin’s voice lulled you and your little family to sleep - and you knew he’d do that forever.

[zukkoxx]

mha boys realizing they’re in love pt.1

w/ deku, bakugo

tw⚠️ insecurities!, self doubt!

deku 🥦

izuku knew he loved you since you guys started dating.

he had liked you for a long time, and when you finally got together in your last year of UA, he couldn’t have been happier.

he planned on living the rest of his life with you. and would go through any feats to make it possible.

so when you started to feel doubts about your relationship? that was a wake up call for him.

you had just finished training, all sweaty and tired, walking back to your dorm with a towel around your neck.

you scrolled through your phone mindlessly, and just happened to come across a twitter post about your boyfriend, deku, who had just taken down one of the villains that’s been on the run for months.

you smiled. you were so proud of him. already achieving his dream in becoming one of the greatest heroes. and getting the recognition he finally deserved.

you made it your your dorm, slumping on your bed as you read some of the comments.

woah this guy is still attending UA!? he’ll be a great hero for sure

there’s no one like him!

deku strikes again! what a stud😍

you laughed at some, grimaced at others that claimed the mission was too easy for him. but one particular comment had you freezing in your spot.

is he single? i won’t hesitate to run to the scene and give him my hand in marriage right now!

you knew it was a fun, lighthearted comment. but you clicked the the commenters page and instantly noticed how beautiful as preppy she was.

she was also a big deku fan...probably had more merch than you.

you sighed and threw your phone across the bed.

for the past few weeks, you had been thinking about how different you and izuku were in terms of success.

you were both in your last year of high school, and he had already done so much.

worked on so many cases with pro heroes and went through successful missions all the time. he was destined to become the greatest hero.

and you?

well, you’ve never even caught a villain.

sure you’ve helped out on low grade missions for the hero you interned under, but you had never been publicly praised like izuku. you never stood out.

you had trouble believing you’d become a hero at all.

you always wondered, wouldn’t izuku be better off with someone that could keep up with him? who wouldn’t hold him back. someone who he wouldn’t leave in the dust when he excelled in the future.

he deserved someone better.

your thoughts were cut off when your dorm door brushed open, revealing no other than the man himself.

izuku walked into your room with worried eyes and seemed out of breath.

“y/n? ive texted and called a bunch of times. why haven’t you answered?” he asked, and you subtly turned to your phone that you discarded on the other half of the bed.

“my ringer was off. sorry izu.” you tired to give him a smile as he sat next to you on your bed. “i saw an article about your mission today. you were amazing!” you complimented.

“ahh you give me too much credit. i couldn’t have dont anything with the pro heroes and other people helping.”

“still, you’re a great hero. i wish i was like that.” you chuckle dryly, past insecurities already pushing forward again.

“what!? you’re a great hero y/n!” izuku exclaimed.

“i’ve barely done anything izuku. i don’t know how you put up with me. i should be able to help you on your missions, but i’m stuck in the same position i have been in. i don’t know when i’ll improve.”

you didn’t mean to sound so pathetic, but you had been feeling this way for so long. it was all just spilling out now.

and izuku? he literally stopped breathing when he heard what you were saying about yourself. “you deserve someone that will be able to keep up with you. what will people think when they find out the amazing deku is dating a weak, incapable, good for nothing-”

“don’t say one more word y/n.” izuku cuts you off, and you look up to meet his eyes piercing yours.

they were dark, nothing like their usual gleaming glow that shined when he looked at you.

there was no sign of amusement on any of his features. just dead seriousness

“what the hell are you talking about y/n?” he asks, but doesn’t give you a chance to respond. “you’re one of the most courageous, brave, intelligent, capable people i know! where is all of this coming from?”

“i’ve been thinking about it for a while. it’s just you’re so...amazing and i’m so...” you knew anything you could have said after that would make him even more angry. it was nothing positive.

god he probably hated you for being so insecure.

“you’re you, y/n.” izuku says softly. “you’re you and you’re who i love. i don’t care about what i do, what you do, who says what! i love you for you!”

izuku looks at you with so much love and compassion. you stared into his eyes, wondering what was gong on in his head.

well? at the moment he despised himself for letting you feel this way.

you were his whole world! the person who supported you in everything he did and he would support you in the same way! he couldn’t understand why you were feeling this way when he was literally...in love with you.

he loved you yeah of course, but hearing the way you were speaking about yourself, and how you had doubts about your relationship made his heart physically hurt. he was absolutely and unconditionally in love with you and wouldn’t be able to see himself with anyone else.

and he needed you to hear it.

“y/n you’re my everything! i’m so in love with you, no amount of fame or recognition could make me even think about leaving you!” izuku said urgently, and he finally calmed down when he saw a slight smile reach your lips.

a real one this time.

the conversation continued, and izuku promised to let you learn and remember how in love he was with you until it was the last thing he’d do.

bakugo 💥

bakugo would never pursue anyone unless he definitely knew he loved them.

so of course he never asked you out when he couldn’t differentiate if what he felt for you was love, or if it was a stupid little crush.

he didn’t like thinking about his feelings, especially the irrelevant ones.

he was trying to become the number one hero. who needed time for love anyways?

so he ignored his “feelings” for you, not allowing them to confuse him any longer.

it wasn’t until a few months into his third year when bakugo got the worst news of his life.

you were on a mission. an important one that had you absent from school for weeks.

bakugo was worried.

he’d text you every few days, asking what was going on and how things were and you’d always respond with “it’s fine.” or “we’re hanging in there.”

he assumed it was a pretty difficult mission, but nothing you couldn’t handle.

you were strong

so when he heard from a certain icy-hot that you were in the hospital in critical condition after completing the mission, he forgot about everything and ran straight to you.

ignoring aizawa’s calls, he almost blasted himself out of UA and checked every hospital for you, considering he didn’t even ask todoroki which one you were in before he left.

when he finally reached the hospital holding you, he sprinted to your room.

he found you hooked up to a bunch of wires and tests.

you looked peaceful, sleeping while the heart monitor beeped beside you.

but you looked horrible. bloody bandages covered almost every limb, and your body was covered in bruises.

bakugo’s heart dropped to his stomach. he couldn’t stand seeing you like this.

why does his feelings have to be 100x more noticeable when your tragically hurt!?

he sat down on the empty chair beside the hospital bed, wondering why no one else was visiting at this time.

he stared at you, something he couldn’t get off of his mind lately.

“why do you make me feel things, dumbass?” he asked, waiting for a response. “i never skip class! you just had to get hurt and make me skip the test review.” he rolled his eyes, but his face softened as he looked at you, still sleeping.

“i’ll help you study. you’ll probably fail without going over what we learned.”

.....

“would you wake up, you shitty woman!” he yelled, gripping the side of your bed “this is scary, you know?”

.....

“i should’ve called you today, i just assumed you’d be too busy to talk. if you told me you were in trouble, i’d blast my ass to wherever you were in a heartbeat.” bakugo said, feeling his actual heart skip a beat when you still didn’t respond. 

“please wake up...”

after about an hour of waiting, your other classmates came in, checking on your condition.

you still hadn’t woken up, but your vitals were better and your breath were more steady.

by the time night fell, everyone left; except for bakugo

he was just starting to fall asleep when he felt she. he heard you stir in the hospital bed.

his head shot up, quickly turning to face you as he saw you blinking you eyes slowly.

“y/n!” he yelled a little louder than anticipated, making you shoot awake and look at him.

you blinked a few more times before realizing who you were looking at. “katsuki!?” you asked, trying to sit up, but feeling a sharp pain in your side.

“hey! don’t move dumbass. are you okay? do you remember anything?” he frantically asked.

“umm...i’m fine?” you said, sounding like you were trying to convince yourself. “why are you here?”

“why am i here? you were admitted into the hospital in critical condition!”

“i-i’m sorry, everything’s a bit fuzzy right now.” you say softly, putting a hand on your forehead and tryin got remember everything.

bakugo softened, and waited until you got yourself together. “how long have you been here?” you ask

“since this morning.”

“this morning!? katsuki what about school? do your parents even know you’re here?”

“why the hell are you worried about me? you’re the one hooked up to all these machines and can barely move!” bakugo yelled, trying to understand why you were so focused on him being there with you.

“i just never thought you’d be the one to go out of your way to check on someone. let alone be here the whole day...” you whispered, suddenly feeling shy at the idea of bakugo keeping your sleeping body company for hours.

bakugo froze at your words.

he really wasn’t the type to go check on people for more than a few minutes. especially not one to skip school because of it.

maybe he did this because he felt a little more than what he thought he did.

maybe this wasn’t a stupid little crush? maybe it was something serious that he had just been blowing off.

when he heard about your condition, he just couldn’t stand by. there must have been something that pushed him to run to you.

“it’s cause u care about you...idiot. i wasn’t gonna a let you suffer here alone.” he huffs, crossing his arms.

“katsukiii do you like me or something?” you asked in a teasing tone

he couldn’t believe you were making jokes at a time like this. furthermore, he couldn’t believe how easy it was for you to see through his facade.

“i do.” he states. there was no point in lying.

“i was just kidding kats-“

“i’m not.” he cuts you off. “i care about you, and i like you. a lot. so...you better like be bad damn it. or i’ll blow you to bits!”

you chuckled and smiled tenderly at him. you definitely weren’t expecting him to say that, but you weren’t complaining.

“i like you too...i guess.” you smile, and katsuki tsked before smirking at you.

he finally felt like he could breath again, and that everything was going to be fine now.

except...katsuki didn’t like you. he loved you. but no way would he tell you that

this absolutely sucks i can’t believe i’m posting this. if you can, plz give me some requests so i don’t make trash hcs like this again. they’ll be a pt.2 later. hopefully it isn’t as bad as this one.

click here to send a request. i’d really appreciate it!

[themadauthorshatter]

It's been a while since we last checked on Flippy, so let's see how he's doing!

We start with Cuddles this time, who's sitting upside down on a bench when Petunia and Flaky approach him, asking if he's seen Flippy anywhere.

He has not, because he thought Flippy was with Petunia.

Petunia folds her arms and asks why Flippy would be with her for about a half to a week and a half, and Cuddles shrugs; maybe they got REALLY intimate and just needed all of that time together.

Flaky squeals, because it's dirty, and Petunia tells him to get his mind out of the gutter because this is crazy serious.

Cuddles gets up and relentls and asks if they stopped by his house.

They did, and he wasn't there.

Did they check the woods?

Not there either.

The GYM?

He doesn't even BELIEVE in going to the Gym, most days; why GO to a place to workout when you have the equipment at your house or just outside in general?

Cuddles finally realizes that Flippy's MISSING missing, and gets up, joining the girls with finding their friend.

Flaky hopes that Flippy's okay, but Cuddles assures her that he's smart, he wouldn't do anything stupid like run away.

Funny he say that because Flippy IS doing something stupid, staring at a projector that's showing a bunch of war footage, like pictures that NO AVERAGE PERSON should see.

Splendid cringes as turns a small dial on an IV line and watches Flippy struggle to both handle the medicine that's being pumped into him and not flip out.

Thankfully, all that happens is that he vomits in a bucket.

Splenedid stops the medicine and hands Flippy some water, asking if he's really okay with continuing; they've been at this for a while and they're making very debatable progress.

Flippy washes his mouth out and nods. He can keep going.

Splendid hestitately changes the image to a collage of very familiar faces:

Tiger General, Sneaky, and Mouse Ka-Boom.

Flippy gasps at seeing them and asks how the hell Splendid got these pictures.

Splendid admits it was a simple internet search, because people spread information around like it's a puff puff pass, especially if said information is a tragedy and a victory. He can give Flippy a few minutes, if he needs it.

Flippy only takes a few seconds seeing the faces of his dead partners and nods.

Splendid gets the IV and medicine going again and Flippy takes a few deep breaths as what I call the "Make Me Sick" medicine(MMS for short)(if MMS is a real thing, I deeply and sincerely apologize. I know there's a name for the drug/"medicine" used for aversion therapy, but I forgot it🙏🙏🙏) runs through his system. TV perspective, his eyes dart between Mouse Ka-Boom and Sneaky and he sees old memories of the three in training, i.e. standing still while a drill sergeant yells in their faces and/or tries to make them laugh, having a meal together, goofing around before bed, and even comforting each other after getting tased and pepper sprayed as a part of training.

Flippy's eyes go 'killer instinct-y' and he fights a gag as he remembers how they all promised to meet again once they were out of the army, and how both looked at him with shock, sorrow, and betrayal because of how he accidentally killed them.

The memories change to taking on Tiger General 1v1, how he had to fend for himself, got his hands removed, and was almost strangled to death until he ultimately came out on top amd took down the rest of the enemy base.

When I say he vomits, I mean he VOMITS until there's nothing left to get out of his system and he's dry heaving.

Splendid quickly turns off the projector and gets Flippy off the IV, though the veteran tells him he can take more, he just needs a few minutes.

Splendid, however, tells him to call it a day; they've been at this for hours and he's already making phenomenal progress; of course Splendid is not going to TEST it right now because his friend just threw up all of his digestive system.

Flippy sighs and agrees, relinquishing for the day.

Splendid helps him up and asks if he's okay to walk home and Flippy states he's fine; he just wants to go shower and clean himself up after throwing up so much.

The two bid their farewells and Flippy begins a very uneasy walk home.

A bit of context: it's been a week or so since the last part and they've been doing this all day everyday since then, from dawn to dusk, and today they started around MAYBE 4 am in the morning and it is now 12 or 1 pm in the afternoon, so yeah it's time for the Flipster to go home and rest.

Back on track, Flippy's not exactly the best because he needs to get the vomit taste out of his mouth and just feels like crap, so he takes a shortcut home.

He gets there relatively fast and flops onto the couch and falls asleep, exhausted.

He dreams he's with Sneaky and Mouse Ka-Boom, all three playing a mix of Spades and Poker, Sneaky and Flippy speaking in english before translating for Mouse Ka-Boom to understand them; yes, Mouse Ka-Boom speaks french. He understands English well enough, but isn't the best at speaking it, aside from, 'Sir, yes, sir,' 'Sir, no, sir,' and a few insults he picked up from Flippy on accident; he may or may not have gotten the three in trouble because he repeated one of these insults in front of a commanding officer.

Regardless, the three are having a good time before Sneaky asks Flippy a question: How did it feel to throw that knife at him rather than the General? Did he enjoy it? Did he hate Sneaky that much he had to throw a KNIFE through his chest?

Flippy deflates and clarifies that he did not mean to miss the General; it was a heat of the moment thing and he's, admittedly, not good under stress.

Mouse Ka-Boom lowers his cards and asks if cutting him in half was another 'heat of the moment thing,' along with getting them both blown to smithereens.

They change before Flippy's eyes, both mangles and burnt, and Flippy leaves the table, backing away from them.

That is until a hand claps on his shoulder and his own voice tells him to admit that he actually did enjoy killing his friends; it's what he's been trained to do, so what better way to see the reward of all that effort?

Flippy turns and sees himself, who demands he admit it, admit that he's never going to change, that he won't let himself because not only does he like it, he also wants to go back to fighting and wants out of Splendid's Aversion therapy.

Flippy barely gets a word out because his other self tackles him to the ground and starts to choke him, calling him weak, a liar, and a coward, saying he should've died on that mission, not Sneaky or Mouse Ka-Boom.

Speaking of which, the two appear and grab both of Flippy's arms, holding him while he's practically being strangled again.

It gets worse when his other self turns into Tiger General, who laughs that he wouldn't be surprised by such an admission because it took Flippy how many tries to kill him. Might as well return the favor.

Flippy, breathless and trying to break free screams out and wakes up on the floor, though he gets up and runs to the kitchen sink, where he dry heaves and coughs up spit.

He stops after a while and sits against the cabinets, having regrets about the choice to go along with Splendid's idea.

These regrets linger as he walks outside the next day, catching a toy Cub dropeed while and Pop are on a stroll, though Cub is in a wagon.

They walk off, Pop thanking Flippy, and Flippy gets a surprise attack hug from Flaky, who's close to tears because he's been missing.

Cuddles, Giggles, and Petunia also approach, asking where the hell he disappeared to, because they've been looking all over for him.

Flippy apologizes for worrying them and straight up lies, saying he just left town for a little bit to enjoy some quiet time; and to restock on his medicine as soon as he could because he ran out.

Cuddles still lightly punches Flippy on the arm and tells him not to scare them like that again, or they'll put him on a harness or walk around with him in a wagon.

With Flaky now piggybacking him, Flippy muses that it sounds tempting, because he could see everyone getting some excerise because of it.

The group laugh it off and start toward a diner, because they all skipped breakfast and lunch on accident.

Flippy decides to join them, having NOT skipped breakfast, and they head to the diner.

On his back, Flaky asks Flippy if he's okay, because he looks pale and feels tense.

He nods, claiming he's fine, just a little sore from a workout he did while he was away.

Flaky is suspicious, but drops it. FOR NOW.

Cut to them at the diner, all talking and looking over the menu to see what they want, and a visual gag of Cuddles and Giggles having a contest of who can spin longer in their chairs(they're all sitting at the bar).

Flippy is a little uneasy because ANYTHING can trigger his instincts and he doesn't know how well this aversion procedure is going to qork because neither he nor Splendid went out and actually saw if it was working.

Petunia sees his unease and asks if he needs to step outside for a second.

He shakes his head and admits he's just trying to figure out what to eat.

Good thing he's having a hard time, too, because Petunia is not in the mood for grease.

Flaky fakes a gag or an "Eugh," and jokes, "Ew, flirting."

While Flippy laughs, Petunia DARES Flaky to repeat that, because it was her that helped the two get closer.

His laughter dies when a kitchen fire starts on accident right in front if them.

TV/anime perspective, we see the reflection of the fire in Flippy's eyes as they widen and he gasps/whimpers. We don't see his flashback, but we hear about a bomb going off and people screaming in pain. Flippy clenches a fist on the countertop, silent as the fire is put out and everyone relaxes.

While everyone talks about how crazy that just was, Flippy spontaneouly gets sick to his stomach and gags, excusing himself really quick to go to the bathroom.

The group watch and are now very confused, because usually flame triggers him, but he did not go off on them.

Cuddles, being the only boy, follows Flippy, saying that he'll try not to die in the process.

He does not die, but he does see Flippy vomiting into one of the sinks, very violently, I must say.

Cuddles asks if everything's okay, which scares the crap out of Flippy, but the ex-soldier claims he's fine; the fire just got him scared.

Cuddles doesn't really buy it, and asks another question: Has he been eating, AT ALL? Because he looks like he lost a little bit of weight and sick as hell.

While he waters away his mess, washes out, and wipes off his mouth, Flippy admits he has been, as much as he can, at least.

Cuddles still doesn't buy it, asking WHAT he's eating and when.

Flippy leans over the now clean sink and measures his options.

If he tells the truth, there's a chance his friends are not going to take it well.

If he keeps them in the dark, they will be fine, even though he'll feel even more like garbage.

Flippy turns and holds up his hands in surrender. He's been eating venison to build immunity, and because it, honestly, tastes really good.

Cuddles reels on him, asking why he'd do that when he's almost deathly allergic to the stuff.

Flippy apologizes and admits that, yes, he knows it's stupid, but he's just trying to make himself better, in case they have a cookout and someone accidentally brings venison instead of steak.

Cuddles points out that's BS because NO ONE eats venison(whatever it is)(Flippy corrects him that it's deer), but still drops it because Flippy clearly doesn't want to talk about it; guy code.

Flippy thanks him anyway and they rejoin the group, everyone keeping an eye on Flippy as he eats, Flaky especially, because, having known him the longest, she canntell he's both hiding something and isn't as good as he's pretending to be.

HMMMMMMMM????

[oboevallis]

runaway

hey it’s been a hot minute, not really sure what this is ive have it in my drafts for a while, but i feel like everyone’s written this 😂 but i wanted to post something at least also ‘who is he?’ part 4 will be coming out soon hope everyone’s doing well

“It’s always been her, hasn’t it?” Amelia’s voice wavered as she struggled to keep her composure.

“I didn’t sleep with her!” Link exclaimed, slurring his words. “I just stayed with her.”

“Whenever something goes wrong between us you always go running to Jo. Just get it over with and fuck her already! She’ll be all the things I’m not.”

“You have no right to be mad. I poured my heart out to you, I’ve been planning for months on proposing to you. I love you Amelia Shepherd, but your so damn self destructive you’re ruining this for the both of us. I’ve done everything you’ve wanted this is just one thing I wanted. If anything I should be mad, but I’m being the bigger person.”

“You’re being the bigger person?” Amelia chuckled in disbelief. “Talk to me again when you’re sober.”

“Who said I wasn’t sober?”

“Please, part of Jo’s help sessions always result in the two of you downing a bottle of whiskey, which is an incredibly unhealthy coping mechanism.” As she said this she was aggressively packing her clothes in a suitcase.

“Not everyone’s a fucking alcoholic. Not everyone has to sit an a room with fucked up strangers complaining about their lives, when they did that to themselves.”

“You think I wanted to be snorting oxy off of the reception desk of a medical practice while I’ll my friends watched? Or stealing my brothers car and crashing it trying to find drugs? I thought you were different but you’re just like Owen.” That’s the last thing she said before walking into their sons nursery and scooping with up.

“You can’t take Scout.”

“I can because you’re drunk out of your mind, I don’t even know why I’m talking to you.”

“Where are you going?”

“Don’t worry about it.” Amelia yelled before slamming the door behind her. She fought to get the baby in his car seat, she couldn’t seem to catch a break. She needed to get away, she needed to go back to her original refuge.

“Come on Scout, can we cooperate for mommy?” Amelia begged, fighting off tears as her son kicked and screamed. Despite being a movement baby he hated the car, specifically the car seat since no one could hold him. Eventually the baby was secured, and he quickly fell asleep, as he realized how he exhausted himself after his tantrum. Three hours into the drive Amelia immediately started to regret this, it was a 17 hour drive, and she was doing it alone with a baby who just barely turned one. No, she was doing this, she needed to. She’d be sure to take as many breaks as she needed. This was what needed to be done for her and her sons well-being.

After two hotel visits and countless stops along I-5 S she found herself in LA standing outside her sisters door, but couldn’t bring herself to knock. She knew Addison loved her but she couldn’t help already feeling the subtle condescension. ‘How have you already managed to screw this up?’ ‘I love you Amy, I do, but isn’t this a little extreme?’ ‘You’re clean, right? Because I’ll take you back right this minute’

Quickly she turned around to go back to her car to think about her next game plan before a voice stopped her.

“Amy?” Amelia jerked back around to be met with Addison’s confused yet comforting smile.

“Umm I’m vaccinated, but I got tested if that makes you more comfortable. I’m negative I-I just needed to get put of Seattle.”

“I know the feeling.” The older woman chuckled holding the door open wider to allow the two to come in. “Now let me hold my new nephew!” She squealed as she held her arms out for the baby, soaking in his tiny stature. “I miss when Henry was this little.”

“Where is the little guy? It’s awfully quiet.”

“They went camping, Henry’s been stir crazy for over a year and it seemed safe enough for the two to go away.”

“I’m sure Jake was thrilled.” Amelia smirked thinking back to the time the practice went on a camping trip together and Jake had almost refused to go hence his disdain for the wilderness.

“You know it.” Addison joked along, playing with the baby’s tiny fingers. The older woman then lead the way back onto the deck and settled on a lounge chair under an umbrella. Amelia followed behind and took out sunscreen from the diaper bag she was sure to pick up once they got to LA. “He’s absolutely adorable Amelia.”

“Thanks.” Amelia smiled as she lathered the baby’s extremities with sunscreen.

“Gosh i just want to eat him up.” Addison pretended to bite into him, causing the baby to shriek with laughter. Cracking the first genuine smile the neurosurgeon had since after Maggie’s wedding. “You know I was talking to Charlotte a little while ago and she mentioned she was going to go to a meeting if you want to go meet up with her, she still goes to the one near the pier.”

“Thank you, Addison.” It now felt silly to have been scared to talk to Addison, she always knew how to help the neurosurgeon. “Are you sure you’re okay to watch him?”

“More than okay.” Addison beamed, running her hand through the baby’s hair. “And even if you stayed I still wouldn’t let this little guy go.”

“I love you Addie.”

“Love you too Amy.” Addison assured as the woman walked out to her car, it’d be a lie if she said she wasn’t worried for her little sister. But she was reaching out for help, she wasn’t sure what the issue was but she was immensely proud she came to her and not a baggie of pills.

_______________________________________

“Don’t you think you should call her?” Jo asked as she prepared a bottle for Luna.

“No.” Link coldly said, cradling the baby in his arms.

“At least for Scout’s sake?”

“He’s fine, looking back Amelias made it very clear she’s the only parent that matters or gets a say.” Link bitterly replied.

“I’m sure it isn’t like that.” As much as she loved her dear friend, he couldn’t see where he also went wrong in this situation. “She loves you.”

“Not enough to marry me.”

“She isn’t ready.”

“Her and Hunt were off and on, and she accepted his proposal.”

“First off she had a brain tumor, and because of said brain tumor she impulsively asked him to marry her. She thinks clearly now, and I think she just wants it to work out and be right.” Jo turned around and sighed as she saw her friends annoyed look. “You’ve never been a marriage guy, where is this even coming from?”

“I don’t know it just feels right, i don’t want to lose her.”

“Your gonna lose her if you push her into this.”

“I move mountains for her, I’ve adjusted my whole life for her. It’s just one thing, one thing that I want.”

“Link are you stupid? This isn’t fighting over what couch you get this determines the rest of your life. And marriage isn’t all that, it doesn’t keep a person there.” Jo sighed, since adopting Luna she’d been thinking a lot about her ex husband, and how stupid the concept of marriage was.

________________________________________

“Has he called?” Addison cautiously asked as Amelia fed her baby.

“Nope.” Amelia popped the ‘p’. “I get that he hates me now, but I thought he’d at least check in on Scout.”

“He’s just upset.”

“I know, I just thought he understood. He’s nothing like Owen but since we moved into his apartment I just feel suffocated like I did when we were married.”

“Have you tried talking to someone, professionally?” Addison inquired, leaning further back onto the beach chair.

“What so they can silently judge how I have a perfect life but still feel terrible?”

“Amy, you know a therapist isn’t going to think that, their there to help you without judgement.” She stared at the woman for awhile until she came to a realization. “After Scout was born you didn’t have any postpartum appointments did you?”

“No, the world had shut down a week after he was born.” Amelia confirmed.

“Do you think your having a delayed postpartum depression reaction? I mean you were thrown into taking care of a newborn and three other kids who aren’t yours in complete isolation . Then On top of that you didn’t have time to grieve Christopher. It’s difficult on women who have lost a child previously when they bring home a healthy baby.” Amelia held back her tears, as much as she tried to focus on scout she couldn’t help but feel broken over the fact Christopher didn’t have the opportunities scout has.

“Pre-covid a day wouldn’t go by that I didn’t think of Christopher. Then I just got so caught up in everything, and I’d barely think about him. I mean I almost forgot his birthday.”

“You can’t feel guilty about that.”

“I j-just wish Link would get that I don’t want another baby.I mean he’s ten times more understanding than Owen was about my grief but, I just don’t want another baby.”

“You’re allowed to not want another baby, but do you think it has to do with Christopher?”

“I don’t think so, I just can’t love yet another person without losing myself. It feels like I already have, I don’t recognize anything about me. Surgery doesn’t even give me the thrill it use to.” The older women sat up and placed a reassuring hand on the younger ones knee.

“I’m gonna talk to Violet and have her refer someone to you. Then you’re gonna talk to Link and come up with a game plan. And I’m gonna be right here the whole time, you’re my family. Everyone here is your family we’ve got you.”

[mallowstep]

(sirens, lights, your hand clasped in mine)

Their doorknob jostles.

Mistyfoot sits up. Their door is always unlocked, then opened. Never tested.

"Tigerstar will--"

"I'm not worried about that," Mistyfoot says. She grips Featherpaw's hand.

"We sure this is the room?" someone says outside.

"Yeah." There's a pause. "We're going to kick the door in. Back away from it, please."

"Who's that?" Featherpaw whispers.

Mistyfoot doesn't answer. She watches the door shake, and then crack, and then push open. Two police officers stand on the other side. One lifts her radio. "Found them."

The other crouches down. "Hey," he says. "You two ready to get out of here?"

* * *

Mistyfoot stands on the driveway. Featherpaw clutches her arm, leaning heavily on her, and the heat of the summer hits them fully. The sun is sharp, enough to make her squint. The air smells like pine trees.

* * *

Mistyfoot holds Featherpaw's hand as they're driven to the hospital. The EMTs have examined them both, and it only takes one look at Featherpaw to know she needs medical attention.

They ask her questions about Featherpaw. Does she have any allergies? Does she have any pre-existing conditions? What's happened to her?

No, maybe, too much to say.

Featherpaw doesn't fight with them when they place an IV line. Mistyfoot runs her hand through Featherpaw's hair.

* * *

She takes the thrusted document, signing her name and Featherpaw's.

"It won't last forever," she's warned. "And you know, her legal guardian might..."

Mistyfoot passes the paper back. "How do I adopt her?"

* * *

Featherpaw gets worse first.

The doctors try to tell Mistyfoot otherwise, try to tell her that this is to be expected and it doesn't mean Featherpaw won't recover, but she's not stupid. Some charity worker brought her a smartphone. It doesn't get any service, but she has the hospital's internet, and she looks up most of the words they say. It's not good.

She holds Featherpaw's hand, presses a kiss to Featherpaw's forehead.

Maybe, a lifetime (Featherpaw's lifetime) ago, she would have prayed. Now, she sits in the never-silent noise of the hospital, watching Featherpaw's breathing when she is asleep.

* * *

"What if he responds to the summons?"

"Then he'll be arrested. He's got orders out in every state, Mistyfoot. He can't challenge this."

She takes a deep breath. Her hands are shaking.

"You don't have to do this, but it will make things easier."

"I know." She uncaps the pen. (She still remembers signing the license, however long ago that was. What did it buy her? She can't remember now.)

Mistyfoot clenches her hand in a fist, trying to steady it, then signs her name.

"I'll send these off, then. The divorce should be finalized fairly quickly."

* * *

She's not sure whose clothes she's wearing. They don't feel like hers.

She has three shirts, and she has worn them all twice, and none of them belong to her.

* * *

Featherpaw is moved into a new ward. Mistyfoot flips through a packet about events. Featherpaw rejects them all.

* * *

"I got a call from someone claiming your brother." She's their caseworker (Mistyfoot hasn't decide how she feels about being a case), and she sits across from Mistyfoot. "If you're not interested in investigating, we'll leave it there. But I wanted to let you know."

(Stonefur.)

(She's not sure if he's alive.)

(The story has been told so many times she doesn't remember what happened.)

(But he could be.)

"I'd..."

"You don't have to decide anything now," she says. "The option is here if you want it."

[wiypt-writes]

Stark Spangled Banner

Ch52: Chicken Soup And Baseball Gloves

Intro: The original Avengers are re-united and along with Rhodey, Rocket, Nebula and Scott Lang, they run the first test on their Time Machine. 

Warnings: Bad Language words. Smut! (NSFW) No under 18s.

Pairing: Steve Rogers x OFC Katie Stark

Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction and classified as 18+. Please respect this and do not read if you are underage. I do not own any characters in this series bar Katie Stark and the other OCs. By reading beyond this point you understand and accept the terms of this disclaimer.

A/N: Holler @angrybirdcr​ does the biz with the edits again

Chapter 51

Stark Spangled Banner Masterlist // Main Masterlist

“Any news on Natasha?” Katie asked, her voice thick, as Steve walked into the kitchen.

“Not yet.” He shook his head, as she reached over, adding bread to the toaster. “She was still working on a lead. How are you feeling?”

“Ok.” She lied. Behind her, Steve rolled his eyes.  

“I can hear you wheezing from here. Go back to bed.”

“I don’t want to lie in bed.” She shrugged and he took a deep breath, crossing the room to stand behind her. It wasn’t often she got sick, but when she did she was a terrible patient.

“Sweetheart.” His arms circled her waist. “You’re burnt out and ill, and you certainly can’t go to the compound like this.”

He was right, Katie couldn’t actually remember the last time she felt so bad. She’d requested they leave the compound early last night as the group sat around discussing Tony’s plans to build their bigger Quantum Tunnel. She’d had a headache that she thought was a migraine, but had woken herself and Steve with a particularly nasty coughing fit in the early hours of the morning, whereby he’d gone to fetch her a glass of water and laid with her, rubbing her back until she fell asleep again.

“My plan was to actually lay on the sofa all day watching trash.” She shrugged, coughing a little.

“Ok, if that’s what you want.” he nodded, gently moving her so she was facing him. “Go, I’ll fix the kids breakfast. Do you want anything to eat?”

She shook her head, before letting rip with another hacking cough, her hand flying to her mouth as she turned away from him.

“C'mon,” he sighed, “c'mere.”

Katie practically fell into him when he wrapped his arms around her and she snuggled her head into his chest, her arms wrapping around his waist. “I’m fine,”

“You look like crap.”

“You’re mean.” She croaked out. He chuckled as he brought his hand up and pressed it against her forehead and she closed her eyes, he felt so cool.

“You have a fever. Did you take anything?”

She nodded “Tylenol and cough syrup.”

“Well go lay down until it kicks in.”

“Okay,” she finally relented, and Steve watched as she stepped out of his embrace and headed into the living room. The last time Steve had anything like a cold was pre the serum. He felt the odd sore throat and sniffle every now and then but as fast as they arrived they went thanks to his healing qualities. Jamie seemed to be the same. As a baby he picked up a few bugs but he was back to normal in a maximum of a day. There was one time a few months ago he had picked up a nasty cold that had lasted longer, making him even more of a mamma’s boy, clingy and grouchy. But after thirty-six hours he was back to his normal self, the half of him that held the super soldier serum clearly winning out. And Steve was glad, if the half of Jamie that was his father meant he rarely get sick, he’d passed something good onto his son. Emmy, on the other hand, was like Katie. No serum, so when she got sick she felt it more. And Katie was always on hand to look after her kids, even when she felt crappy herself. So when it fell to Steve to look after her, he was more than happy to do so.

“Is Mama sick?” Jamie asked, from where he was sat at the table, his face creased into a frown.

“Yeah she is, buddy.” Steve nodded, grabbing the toast as it popped up from the toaster, buttering it and cutting it into squares for his son. He placed it down in front of Jamie and then popped more in for himself. “Just a cold though, she’ll be fine.”

Steve left the kitchen for a moment, shouting up the stairs for Emmy to get a move on before returning and pouring himself a coffee and one into a Thermos mug for Emmy to take with her.  Apparently the ‘in thing’ now was to take her breakfast to eat on the way. Steve had no idea why, but whatever. When did he ever have a clue about anything that was on trend?

She bustled in, rucksack on her back and grabbed the toast he was holding out in a paper napkin and her mug.

“Thanks Dad.” She smiled, giving him a peck on the cheek.

“Your Mom’s in the lounge, she’s not feeling too good.” He looked at her. “So I know you wanted Brooke to come over tonight but it might be better to give it a miss.”

“Okay.” She nodded, “I can go to hers instead. Will you be here to give me a lift later if I come home and get some stuff?”

“Sure.” He nodded. She ruffled Jamie’s hair on her way past and then disappeared up the hall, and he was pleased to see she popped her head into the lounge to tell Katie to get better soon.

“Are we going to the compound?” Jamie asked as Steve sat down, his own breakfast now in front of him.

“You’re going to Day Care.” Steve looked at him. “You haven’t been in a while.”

“I don’t wanna.” Jamie pouted

“Well, suck it up.” Steve replied. It was important to him and Katie that their son interacted with kids his own age as much as possible, so even whilst Katie wasn’t going to work today, Jamie was going to nursery. “I’m staying home today. We can go to the compound at weekend. If your momma’s better maybe we can stay over.”

Jamie pondered this for a moment. “Okay.”

Steve chuckled and ruffled his son’s hair as the two of them ate their breakfast. Jamie requested a bowl of cereal once his toast was finished, and to be fair Steve was still hungry too so he made them both a helping of Cheerios before he cleaned Jamie down and got him dressed. Once that was done he popped his head into the lounge and saw Katie was asleep under one of the throws.

“You got everything?” He looked at Jamie, quickly checking him over. He had his small rucksack in his hands, his jumper was on and he was clean. Looked good to Steve.

“Yep!” Jamie nodded enthusiastically.

“Alright, come on then.” Steve held out his hand, and Jamie slipped his little palm into his Dad’s as he opened the door and they made their way to the car.

*****

“Why is it so cold?” Katie groaned, pulling the comforter round her as she shuffled into the kitchen.

“It’s not cold, you’re just sick.” Steve pulled the orange juice out of the fridge, pouring her a giant glass. He handed it to her, raising his hand to her forehead. “You’re still warm.”

“No, I told you, I’m freezing.”

Steve was about to say something when they heard the security system telling them Tony had arrived.

“Why is Tone here?” Katie asked, coughing again.

“Dunno.” Steve shrugged. “I told him I wasn’t going to the compound today as you were sick so maybe he’s come to see how you are.”

“Bit out of his way.” Katie pondered, as the front door opened.

“Knock knock.” Her brother’s voice called up the hallway.

“Kitchen Tony.” Steve called back.

“Just thought I’d see how the patient was,” Tony’s voice rang out down the hallways and Katie rolled her eyes, “so far so good, I see no red cross on the door telling everyone to stay away or any one walking outside chanting bring out your dead…”

At that point he walked into the kitchen and nodded to Steve before he turned to Katie. “Huh, maybe there should be. You look like shit.”

She was pale, her hair was pulled into a messy pony tail and her nose was bright red. She opened her mouth to shoot some comment back about being pissed off with people telling her she looked terrible but was cut off by a fit of hacking coughs.

“I’m dying.” She groaned.

“From a cold?”  Tony rolled his eyes.

“I feel like it.” She mumbled.

Steve chuckled and stirred the soup in the pan.

“Smells good, Spangles!” Tony looked round him to glance down. “What is it.”

“Chicken soup, my Ma’s own recipe. Plenty if you want some.” Steve offered.

“No, it’s mine and I don’t like people taking my stuff.” Katie pouted, childishly. “That soup makes everything better.”

“Don’t be a brat.” Steve shot her a look.

“I’m ill, don’t shout at me.” She shot back, coughing again. Steve pointed to the orange juice that she had set down on the side and the Tylenol next to it.

“Drink that, and take that.” He instructed. “And then back to the couch.”

“You’re not my dad.” She glared at him, sullenly. Steve took a deep breath and bristled, Jesus she was obstinate.

“No, but I am, well, by default.” Tony eyed her. “Do as you’re told.”

She gave Tony a look that was positively mutinous, staring directly into his brown eyes before she reached over, took two pills from the packet, tossed them down with a swallow of juice and flipped him off.

“I guess I’ll be on the couch.” She grumbled, retreating out of the kitchen.

“Thanks.” Steve sighed once she was gone, and Tony chuckled.

“She was a nightmare as a kid when she got sick.” He mused, leaning back against the counter.

“She still is. Insists on trying to keep going instead of resting.”

“You know, when she was ten she got a nasty bout of tonsillitis.” Tony stepped over to grab the coffee from the cupboard. “It turned into something called Quinsy and she ended up hospitalised as one of them burst and she needed them removing under emergency surgery. They were worried about blood poisoning.” Tony paused to top the machine up with coffee and he grabbed the glass jug from underneath. “She demanded to come home the next day even though she was on some heavy duty IV anti-biotics, full scale tantrum when she was told she had to stay in for four days.”

Steve snorted as Tony filled the machine with water and turned it on.

“So trying to carry on when she has a cold is nothing.” Tony looked at him. “Just tell her whose boss.”

The men exchanged a look, both of them fully understanding that Steve was most definitely not the boss before they laughed and Tony clapped him on the shoulder, moving to make the coffee.

“So, Pepper is coming to the compound for the rest of the week” Tony poured himself a drink before he did the same and handed it to Steve. “I was wondering if you wanted me to take Jamie off your hands for the evening, Morgan will be pleased to see him.”

Steve hesitated for a second, as he took a sip of his coffee. He was still torn as to whether the compound really was the best place for the kids. But, the living area was far enough away from any of the equipment, and Emmy had lived there before…

“Don’t worry, I won’t turn him into a teenager.” Tony spotted the flicker of doubt that flashed across Steve’s face.

“No, it’s not that, I trust you Tony, I-” Steve began, feeling that he needed to explain but Tony waved him away.

“I know, and believe me I wasn’t sure I wanted Morgan there but I haven’t seen her since Monday.”

“You know, you don’t have to be at the Compound permanently.” Steve turned the heat down on the stove.

“I know but it’s just easier.” Tony shrugged. “Especially whilst we’re still building the stuff.”

Steve nodded and began to pull three bowls out of the cupboard “Okay, well yeah I’m sure Jamie would like that.”

“Great, I can get him on the way back, I’m assuming he’s at the tower?”

Steve glanced at the clock on the wall. It was only half two but there was no time limits on when he could be collected from Nursery. “Yeah he is, I’ll call ahead, let them know you’re picking him up.”

Tony clapped his hands together. “Great.”

“Let me get this to the patient and then you can fill me in on what’s been going on.” Steve said, picking up a bowl of the soup and a spoon.

****

Katie’s cold lasted three full days. On the fourth night, she had another restless sleep. Not wanting her constant tossing and turning to wake Steve, she headed down stairs, took another dose of Tylenol and turned on the TV, snuggling under the blanket on the sofa. She felt like crap. Luckily the medicine kicked in about fifteen minutes later and she managed to fall asleep, Lucky curled around her legs, keeping her feet warm. When she woke later that morning, she was pleased to find she felt a lot clearer headed and she didn’t ache when she moved which was a bonus.

“You look better.” Steve smiled as she wandered into the kitchen. He’d left her asleep on the couch when he’d seen her earlier that morning, the kids were still in bed seeing as it was weekend.

“I feel it.” she nodded, running her hands through her hair “I’m starving.”

Her appetite being back was a good thing.

“Want me to fix you anything?” Steve asked.

“Eggs and bacon.” she said enthusiastically “I’m gonna grab a shower.”

“Good I can smell you from here.” he teased, laughing as she raised a middle finger which she held up over her shoulder as she walked out of the kitchen. The shower made her feel even better, and once she was dressed in actual clothes and not Pyjamas she felt human again.

She devoured her breakfast, drank another large glass of orange juice and Steve filled her in on what was going on at the Compound. Natasha was still tracking Clint, the Quantum Tunnel Machine was well under construction, Thor, well, Thor seemed to still be a little distracted but he was engaging as much as could be expected and they’d started designs on suits that would help them navigate the Quantum Realm.

“Has anyone given any thought to how we actually get the stones?” Katie asked, a small cough escaping her.

“I’ve been thinking about it a bit.” Steve nodded. “There are a number of possibilities. But trying to get them individually instead of all at once is likely going to be the best bet.”

“How’s that going to work?” She pondered and Steve shrugged.

“To be honest, I haven’t got that far.” He sighed, and Katie dropped the subject.

They headed over to the compound in the late morning, and immediately Katie and Steve spotted the Quinjet was back. They shared a glance, knowing that could only mean one thing and, as quickly as they could, they got the kids out of the car and headed inside. As they made their way towards the main lounge, Katie heard a familiar voice and she felt her chest tighten. Letting go of Steve’s hand, she broke into a run and burst into the room. Everyone in there turned to face her as she stood, stock still, staring at her one time Senior Officer.

“Clint…” She whispered, before she threw herself at him, hugging him tight.

“Hey, Katie.” he croaked as she buried her face into his neck, his arms wrapping around her, squeezing her into a strong hug. 

“Hey yourself.” She sniffled slightly as she stepped back, before she grinned and ran her hand over the shorn sides of his hair. “Nice Mohawk.”

He chuckled and then his attention turned to Steve “Hey, Cap.”

“Hey Clint.” Steve smiled, stepping forward to embrace his friend. “It’s good to see you.”

“You too.” Clint smiled, before he glanced down to Steve’s right where Jamie was now tugging on his hand. 

“Daddy, who’s this?” He asked as Steve picked him up. 

“Jamie, this is Clint. A friend of mine and your mom’s.” Steve smiled.

“And this is Emmy.” Katie said from behind him. Emmy gave him a smile that was a little shyer than Jamie’s as Clint nodded to her.

“Pleased to meet you both. I heard a lot about you from Natasha.”

“Auntie Nat-Nat gives me chocolate.” Jamie grinned. “But I’m not upposed to tell anyone where she keeps it.”

“She used to give my kids chocolate.” Clint smiled, sadly.  “Even when I told her not to.”

Silence fell across the room, no one really knowing what to say to that. Clint took a deep breath and looked down at his feet, until Katie spoke, breaking the tension.

“Shall I fix lunch?” She offered and the team all made noises of agreement and started to move around. Clint smiled at her, and then looked at the boy in Steve’s arms. .

“He looks like you, Cap.” He nodded. Steve smiled and looked at Jamie.

“Apparently so.”

“I think it’s great you guys, you know, that you’re parents.” Clint smiled at Katie. She returned the grin.

“Yeah, it has its moments.” She watched as Steve set Jamie down and he wandered over to Natasha, who beamed at him as he clambered into her lap.  

“Especially when dealing with stroppy teenagers.” Steve quipped looking at Emmy who rolled her eyes.

“Change the record, Dad.”

“Note she said record, not CD old man.” Tony shot.

“It’s just a figure of speech.” Steve rolled his eyes “And for the record, I wish you’d change yours too.”

Clint looked around and caught Katie’s eye, a fond, nostalgic look on his face. And she knew why. It was almost as if nothing had changed. The banter was familiar, each person taking up their role they had held in the Avengers easily, as if the last seven years hadn’t happened. But then, looking around the room was enough to make you remember that they had. They looked different, felt different. They’d split, gone their separate ways and then the Snap had ripped everything from under them, and none of them had lost as much as Clint. 

Katie smiled. “Wanna come help with lunch?” She asked softly, as he hastily wiped a tear from his face.

“Yeah,” he nodded. The pair of them made for the door and she turned to Steve who shot her a smile, before she led Clint towards the kitchen.

“Thanks.” He muttered as they left the room. They walked silently until they reached the kitchen and Katie shut the door as she walked to the fridge pulling out various ingredients to make a huge pan of stuff for fajitas.

“So,” she turned to Clint, handing him a knife, “you chop veg, I’ll do the chicken.”

He smiled softly. “You sound like Laura.”

“Clint, I’m so sorry.” Katie sighed. “I’ve no words that can even pretend to offer a comfort. I can’t begin to imagine-”

“Natasha told me about your baby.” Clint cut her off as he looked at her. She looked down at the chopping board before meeting his eyes. “You lost too.”

“Yeah, we did.” She sighed “We all lost someone.”

“Bet you didn’t go on a killing spree because of it.” Clint sighed, taking a deep breath.

“Clint,” Katie took a deep breath. “Yeah, what you did wasn’t…great, but you can’t let it define you.”

Clint stayed silent for a moment before Katie spoke again. “Steve killed someone you know. In cold blood. One of the HYDRA guys that kept me captive and, well, you know what they did.”

Clint let out a growl. “I don’t blame him, I’d have put an arrow in his head if it had been Laura.”

“That’s my point.” Katie shrugged. “Something like that tipped Captain America, the sentinel of justice and truth-” she framed her words with her fingers making quotation marks and Clint snorted “-over the edge. Someone as morally correct as Steve snapped because of something someone did to me. He didn’t do it to protect me, he did it for out and out revenge.”

“That’s not the same-”

“Maybe not.” Katie shrugged. “But the point I’m trying to make, albeit very badly, is that people react to trauma in different ways.”

“It was anger.” Cling spoke after a moment. “Anger and bitterness that they died and all these assholes didn’t. I wanted to even the scales a little myself. Why did they get to live and my family didn’t?”

“Exactly. You went through the most awful thing ever.” Katie laid a hand on Clint’s arm. “It might not make it right, but it makes it a little more understandable. Certainly from my point of view.” At that she returned to her chopping, with a little shake of her head. “If anything happened to either of my kids, I’d lose it too.”

“That implies you had it to lose in the first place.” Clint quipped, cheekily. She looked up and she was pleased to see the mischievous Barton glint had returned to his eyes.

****

As Tony reminded them all, whilst they had a working Quantum Tunnel, building that into something bigger to do what they needed to do was going to take time. Everyone understood, even if it was frustrating, but as Katie kept pointing out, they’d waited five years for this, what was a couple of months more?

Those months Katie and Steve spent flitting between the Compound, Stark Tower, their home in Brooklyn and Tony’s lake house, trying to manage the time between Emmy’s exams, ensuring the kids were looked after during the school vacation, keeping a business going and maintaining as normal a life for Emmy and Jamie as possible.  

But then, one Wednesday morning in late September, Tony let out a triumphant yell. They were ready.

With Emmy and Jamie both safely out of the way- Emmy back at school, and Jamie in Day Care- they decided on taking their test that same afternoon. The goal was simple, go back in time for a minute or so, pick something up, see if it could be brought back. Katie and Steve followed Tony through the hangar as he was dragging the metal pipe which contained the power cables they had just helped him arrange into the mains which would fire up the machine. In front of them, Thor was walking, drinking a beer as usual, dressed in a scruffy pair of grey sweats and a red hooded top.

“Drifting left!” Tony warned the God. “On the side there, Lebowski”

Katie snorted at the reference. “Makes a change from Point Break.” she said, and Steve grinned.

 “Ratchet, how’s it going?”  Tony called.

 Rocket looked up from where he had been working on something underneath the glass platform “It’s Rocket. Take it easy. You’re only a genius on Earth, pal”

Tony stopped and grinned, catching Katie’s eye, passing the cable to Rocket and giving the raccoon instructions on where to plug each wire.

 “Okay so where’s Lang?” Steve asked, looking around.

“In the chamber having his suit calibrated.” Nat looked up from the tablet she was poking around on. The machine lit up, and Tony stepped back and looked at her. “So far the fluctuation levels are holding.” She nodded and Tony grinned.

 “You say it like you’re surprised, Red.” He shot back. She merely smirked to herself, tapping again.

 “I’ll go see if they’re ready.” Katie nodded.

 “Hey, hey, hey! Easy, easy!” She could hear Scott’s voice as she approached the side chamber in the lab.

 “I’m being very careful” Banner replied

 “No, you’re being very Hulky”

 “I’m being careful.”

She reached the doorway where Clint was leaning against the frame, and looked at him. He shot her a smirk as she turned her attention to Lang who was holding up a small, red glass tube.

“These are Pym Particles, alright? And ever since Hank Pym got snapped out of existence, this is it. This is what we have. We’re not making any more.” 

“Scott, calm down.” Rhodey soothed, looking at him.

 “Sorry.” Scott said, “But we’ve only got enough for one round trip each. That’s it. No do-overs. Plus two test runs.”

 At that, with a yell, he shrank and then grew again back to his normal size after accidentally pressing a button. Katie let out a groan as she looked at Clint.

 “One test run.” she shot, turning to Lang.

“All right. I’m not ready for this.” Scott shook his head and Katie noticed the slightly panicked look in his face. Before she could say anything else, however, Clint spoke softly.

“I’m game.” He nodded as everyone turned to him. “I’ll do it.

There was a moment’s pause before Katie grinned, clapping him on the shoulder. “Suit up then, Hawkeye.”

Clint and Lang switched places, and Bruce handed him one of the GPS controllers. Instantly the same suit Lang was wearing formed round Clint as Lang deactivated his, grabbing his baseball cap from the floor.

“Wai-wait a second, let me ask you something.” Rhodey spoke, his tone making it clear this was something he had been thinking about for a while. “If we can do this, you know, go back in time, why don’t we just find baby Thanos, you know, and…” He made a hand gesture suggesting he was strangling something.

“First of all that’s horrible.” Bruce spoke in a disgusted voice.

“It’s Thanos.” Rhodey shrugged, simply and Katie had to agree. If that as a plan would work, she had no problems in going back and being the one to choke the life out of him. Infant or no infant.

“And secondly, time doesn’t work that way. Changing the past doesn’t change the future.” Bruce continued.

“Look.” Scott nodded.  “We go back, we get the stones before Thanos gets them, Thanos doesn’t have the stones. Problem solved.”

“Bingo.” Clint agreed.

“That’s not how it works.” Katie shook her head.

“She’s right.” Nebula added. “It’s not.”

“Well, that’s what I heard.” Clint shrugged.

“What? By who? Who told you that?” Bruce sighed.

Rhodey held up his hand, counting with his fingers as he spoke. “Star Trek, Terminator, TimeCop, Time After Time…”

“A Wrinkle in Time, Somewhere in Time.” Rhodey continued.

“Hot Tub Time Machine” Scott added.

“Hot Tub Time Machine. Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure. Basically, any movie that deals with time travel.” Rhodey looked around.

“Die Hard?” Scott asked, before he frowned. “No, that’s not one.”

“This is known.” Rhodey finished.

“I don’t know why everyone believes that, but that isn’t true.” Banner said, earnestly “Think about it: If you travel to the past, that past becomes your future. And your former present becomes the past. Which can’t now be changed by your new future.”

“Exactly.” Nebula added.

“So ‘Back To The Future’ is a bunch of bullshit?” Scott asked, with the air of a small child whom someone had just told Santa didn’t exist.

“Afraid so.” Katie looked at him. “Furthermore, there’s a theory that Tony alluded to when he mentioned the Deutsch proposition. If you alter an event in the past you create an alternate universe and timeline as a result. You don’t change yours.”

“Which is why I think we’re gonna have to put the stones back when we’re done.” Bruce mused. “But we’ll cross that bridge when we get there.” He tapped a final button and then stood up. “Okay, that’s it.”

“Ready?” Katie looked at Clint. 

He nodded “Let’s get this show on the road.”

*****

“Lang had an attack of nerves when he accidentally used up one lot of Pym Particles” Katie explained as Steve looked at Clint, confused as to why he was the one in the Quantum Suit on the platform in the middle of the hangar.

“Wait, he used them?” Steve frowned.

“Yeah, so now we only have one test run. But Clint says he’s up for it.” She looked at Tony who opened his mouth to say something, and shook her head. He took a deep breath, simply shrugging as Steve turned to Clint.

“All good?” He asked, and Clint gave him the thumbs up.

“Alright, Clint.” Banner looked at him. “We’re going in three… two… one!”

The helmet sprang forth onto Clint’s head from his suit and he was sucked down through the platform into the Quantum Realm.

“Returning in five…four…three…two…one!”   

The portal opened again and Clint re-materialised on the glass platform, breathing heavily.  

Natasha was first up the steps, taking his face in her hands “Hey, hey, look at me. You okay?”

He waved off her concern, but that wasn’t what Steve was looking at. It was the baseball glove in his hands. Clint tossed it to Tony who caught it, slapping it slightly into his hand, a look of victory on his face.

It worked.

“Cap?” Tony turned to Steve and he realised that everyone was looking to him for directions.

“We need to plan carefully where we go.” He cleared his throat, taking a deep breath and letting it out. “I suggest we start first thing in the morning.”

****

“Em,” Steve spoke as the family sat down to dinner later that evening. “You know we’ve been doing a lot of work at the compound?”

He looked at Emmy, who nodded. After swearing her to secrecy, they’d explained everything to her when they had first started, both of them believing she was old enough to know the truth, and they respected her too much to keep anything from her. 

“Has it worked? Did Tony build it?”

“Yeah, and we think that we should probably move to the compound, just until this is all over. We’ll still make sure you get to school and stuff, we don’t want any of this to impact anything for either of you.” He looked at her. She took a deep breath, but it wasn’t her who spoke next, It was Jamie.

“Can I bring my toys? And Lucky?”

“I think Clint would really like to see him again.” Katie smiled. Clint’s reunion with the dog a few weeks ago would have melted even the coldest of hearts. Lucky had been overjoyed to see his old master, and Clint had buried his face into the animal’s fur, sobbing quietly. Jamie had been indignant that the dog was paying more attention to Clint than him, but that had all changed when Jamie had called his name and Lucky had run back to his side, licking him furiously. Katie had explained to Clint that the two had a very strong bond and Clint had smiled, stating that the animal had loved Nathaniel as well. He was simply happy someone had taken care of him. 

“He’s my dog.” Jamie pouted and Steve snorted, shooting Katie a look.

“Someone else doesn’t like people touching their stuff.” he muttered, grimacing as Katie kicked him in the shin “Ow!”

*****

“You know, we’re gonna have problems if Clint wants to take that dog back.” Steve said as they lay in bed later that night.

“I’m hoping he won’t” Katie sighed. “I mean he’s twelve this year, I’m sure Clint will be happy to let stay seeing as he’s older now.”

“Oh is that how it works?” Steve asked, his hand moving through her hair. “The older you are, the more people want to keep you settled?”

“Why else do you think I kept you around for so long?” Katie shrugged.

“That’s just rude, Mrs Rogers.” Steve looked at her and she grinned as she pressed a kiss to his lips.

“Suppose you have other uses.” She smirked against his lips.

“Really, what might they be?” He asked, in between kisses as she straddled him, his hands creeping up the t-shirt she was wearing and resting on her hips.

“Not sure now you come to mention it?” She wrinkled her nose, wriggling slightly against his crotch, making him grunt. “You might need to remind me.”

Steve simply pushed his hips upwards and Katie groaned softly as his arousal pressed up against her spot. Steve’s hand moved from her hip up to the back of her neck, pulling her down into a deep kiss that had the pair of them wanting far more. Steve hungrily pulled her top over her head, sitting up, running his nose up and down her sternum in between the lines of her breasts. Katie’s head fell back slightly as she bit her lip, relishing the feeling of his skin on hers as his lips traced a path from her jaw line to her neck.

“Remembered yet?” He muttered, breath hot on her ear as she let out another soft whimper.

“Not quite.” She teased. In a flash he had her on her back, and was kissing down the length of her body, nose skimming the waist band of her underwear before he hooked a finger into each side and pulled the garment down her legs. Hands on her knees he gently moved he legs further apart and grinned at the sight of her arousal.

“Liar.” He mumbled, setting his mouth to her. 

Her soft, breathy moans soon filled their room as his tongue worked her over, his right hand placed over her stomach to anchor her into place. He would never get tired of this, hearing her, feeling her as she came undone, her back arching off the bed, knees gripping at the side of his head. He snuck a glance upwards and had to chuckle slightly as she had a pillow pressed over her face to muffle her noises. As she flattened back down, he dispensed of his boxers, crawling back over her, gently removing the item from her face.

“You okay?” He asked with a trace of amusement. She glanced up at him, smiling and laughed as she drew her breath.

“You know, one other thing about going back to the compound,” she chuckled as he pressed against her, giving her another kiss, “the walls to our room are soundproof so there’s no-“

He cut her off as he pushed into her harshly, causing her eyes to close and her breath to catch. He continued to thrust, slowly, powerfully. Watching her face as he did so.

“Eyes on me, Doll.” He managed a low growl and she bit down on her lip, before her jaw slacked slightly and he saw her brow crease just as it always did when she was about to tip over that precipice, riding that fine line between pain and pleasure.

“Come on, Kitten.” He panted, his hips continuing. “Let go…”

And she did, she came hard as her hands wrapped around his biceps, nails digging into his skin as Steve chased his own end furiously, coming with a violent final thrust, his head buried in the crook of her shoulder.

They lay in silence for a while, Katie falling asleep way before Steve. The Soldiers brain was running on overdrive analysing the day. Their machine worked, the test run had been a success, but he knew the hard work was only just beginning. They had to suss out when and where to go to get the stones, and then there was actually doing it. That was going to be the hardest part of all. Then, they faced even more engineering to develop something to harness them, and, maybe the biggest question of all, deciding who was going to snap their fingers.

He glanced down at his wife, her long eyelashes laying against her cheek as she slept. She looked so peaceful.  With a soft sigh he kissed the top of her head and lay back, eyes closed, the warmth of her body soothing him slightly as he felt the tendrils of tiredness pulling him under.

**** Chapter 53

 **Original Posting**

[pastelwitchling]

Based on an anon’s lovely dream.

Also, to the forlex anon -- sorry about this. Maybe I’ll post some forlex tonight, or tomorrow morning at the latest.

***

               Of all the ways Forrest had imagined spending his Friday night, sitting on a hospital floor across a closed room was not one of them.

               But this was where Alex was, this was where Alex wanted to be, so Forrest knew there was nothing else for it. He had left to get his boyfriend a coffee and had come back to find him in the exact same position; staring at the closed door with an almost numb expression, as if lost in thought about the man lying asleep behind it.

               Forrest nudged Alex’s arm with his elbow as he sat down beside him, handing him his drink. As Alex’s fingers closed around the hot cup, his shoulders fell slightly and he exhaled deeply as if he’d been frozen this entire time and was only now thawed free.

               “Thank you,” Alex muttered but did not take a sip. The dark circles under his eyes were prominent, his cheeks hollowed out, his hair sticking out in messy – yet somehow perfect? – strands as Alex had run his hands through it more than once. It had been a weird night.

               Forrest and Alex had been having a date in, lying on Alex’s couch, watching TV, Alex curled up on Forrest’s chest. Forrest had just leaned in for a kiss when the phone went off. Alex had said he would get rid of whoever it was, but even Forrest had heard the crying on the other end, had seen the way Alex’s brows had furrowed and his eyes had widened, how he’d put on his prosthetic and threw on his jacket, not bothering to change out of his sweats.

               “Michael’s at the hospital,” Alex had said. “I – I need to go.”

               It was only through sheer determination to go with him did Alex accept to have Forrest tag along. He had to be there for his boyfriend, didn’t he? He had to show that he wasn’t intimidated by Alex and Michael’s past relationship, for try as he might to deny it, Forrest wasn’t an idiot. He’d picked up on who Alex’s long time ago was a while ago. The only problem was that he’d believed it was over.

               Now, however, as he watched Alex clutch his cup tighter, his eyes on Michael’s hospital door, unseeing, an unpleasant reality settled in his chest. An answer to a question he hadn’t realized he’d been asking since the night Alex had stood in front of an entire bar full of cowboys and sang a love song to someone else.

               “Hey,” Forrest tried to keep his voice light, brushing back Alex’s bangs from his eyes. Alex’s eyes fluttered at the touch and Forrest’s heart ached. Bad timing, he thought. We were always just bad timing. “You should go home, get some sleep.”

               Alex shook his head. “No, I – I can’t leave him.”

               “He has Kyle looking after him,” Forrest said. “And his brother and sister are in the waiting room. Alex, you don’t have to be here.”

               Alex said nothing a moment, then, “I can’t leave him.”

               And despite it all, despite the twinge of anguish that washed over Forrest’s heart – because he’d really gotten to like this stubborn airman – he couldn’t help but feel a smile tug at his lips.

               “I know you can’t,” he said softly. “Well,” he sighed, “Alex Manes, it was a fun ride.”

               At this, Alex’s brows furrowed and he turned to Forrest. For the first time in hours, Alex’s eyes seemed to fall back into focus. “What?”

               “I really loved getting to know you –”

               “Wait, what’re you talking about? What’re you doing?” Alex asked.

               Maybe it was just because it was the dead of night, but Forrest felt sad. He really saw a life with this guy, as short as their time was. Something had connected, he couldn’t really explain it, but…

               Bad timing.

               He straightened his shoulders and, with his small smile, said, “I’m breaking up with you.”

               Alex sat up properly, setting his coffee cup on the ground. “W-Why? Did I do something wrong?”

               “No,” Forrest said. “By all accounts, you’re the perfect boyfriend.”

               “Then why are you breaking up with me?”

               Forrest sighed, searching Alex’s face for any hope. And it was there, and that was the saddest part of all. Alex did want him, did truly like him, and yet… there was Michael, always there, in his core.

               He groaned. “This would be so much easier if you weren’t so cute.”

               “I don’t want to break up,” Alex said. “If it’s because we’re here, then… then, I swear, the second he wakes up –”

               “Don’t,” Forrest shook his head. “Don’t force yourself to make that kind of oath. You don’t want it either.”

               “I’m not in love with Michael.”

               “Yes, you are,” Forrest said. “And I knew that, and I thought I could live with it, but… Alex, being apart from him will kill you, and I can’t live with that.”

               “I don’t want to be apart from you!” Alex said, and Forrest fought back the desperate part of him that wanted to surge forward and kiss him.

               Forrest rested his head against the wall and said nothing a moment, then, “Can you look me in the eyes… and honestly tell me that you” – he cleared his throat – “that you would rather be with me than him?”

               Alex held Forrest’s gaze daringly, his chin jutted out in that stubborn way Forrest had come to like a little too much, and opened his mouth to answer. Nothing came out.

               Forrest tried not to feel disappointed, but the thought of not spending anymore nights with Alex, of not waking up to his dark eyes and tousled hair after accidentally falling asleep together, of not being able to kiss him anymore or pick his brain or make him laugh or see his smile – it all kept the sad look in his eyes more than anything else had in a very long time.

               Alex’s shoulders fell, resigned, his expression grieved. He shook his head. “I… Forrest, I…”

               Forrest cupped Alex’s jaw and leaned in, kissing his lips softly.

“Yeah,” he said. “Me, too.”

               *

               Michael opened his eyes to white walls, white sheets, and a needle in his hand.

               “Look at that,” someone said, and Michael looked over to see Kyle. “Sleeping beauty’s finally awake.”

               “Screw you,” Michael croaked, and went into a fit of coughs.

               “Serves you right,” Kyle said, even as he helped Michael sit up against his pillow.

Michael took in the IV strip, the monitors, and raised a brow.

               “You know this is all useless for someone like me, right?”

               Kyle sighed, writing something down on a clipboard. “It’s to keep up appearances. You have any idea how many nurses I’ve had to warn out of here? I did a blood test on myself to help your sorry ass stay secret, so how about a little gratitude?”

               “Blah blah blah,” Michael rolled his eyes. “You got any nail polish remover?”

               Kyle scoffed, and pulled out a small bottle from his pocket that Michael just knew had been left for him by one of his siblings. “I wouldn’t drink that right now if I were you,” he muttered.

               “And why not?”

               “Oh no reason,” Kyle returned the clipboard to its place at the foot of the bed. “Isobel and Max are in the waiting room. They’ll want to see you.”

               “They’re still here?”

               “They’re not the only ones,” he said, and nudged his chin at the door. “Alex is right outside.”

               Michael had just uncapped the bottle in his hands, but before he could take a single sip, he froze. “Alex?”

               “Yep,” he said. “He’s been sitting out there since you were brought in. Hasn’t moved.”

               Michael swallowed. “If you’re messing with me, Valenti…”

               It was Kyle’s turn to roll his eyes as he opened the door and stepped out. A few seconds later, Alex came in, looking exhausted but thoroughly relieved. Michael slowly set the acetone bottle aside, not daring to make any sudden moves in case it scared the airman away.

               “Alex,” he said, and came up short.

               Alex was in his sweats, a hoodie thrown over his Air Force t-shirt, his hair a perfect mess, his cheeks rosy and his hands trembling. In other words, he was beautiful.

               “Uh – Isobel called me,” he said, hugging himself tightly. Michael wondered if it was because of the cold or something else. “She and Max are –”

               “—in the waiting room,” Michael finished. “I know.”

               “They’ll be up soon,” he said. “You – uh – you want me to wait outside, or –?”

               “No, stay,” he blurted without thought, almost rising in his bed. He sat back down and cleared his throat. “I mean, if I want to.”

               For a second, Alex looked as if he might just offer to head back home, now that he’d seen Michael was okay, but he nodded instead. “I want to.”

               He sat in the small armchair next to Michael’s bed, knees pressed together, still hugging himself.

               “Are you cold?” Michael asked, and Alex shook his head.

               “Does it hurt? Your head?”

               “A little,” Michael admitted. “I’ll get better at it next time.”

               Alex pursed his lips. “So you’re gonna try again?”

               “I have to,” he shrugged. “I gotta access other parts of my powers, like Max and Isobel did.”

               “It didn’t hurt them like it hurt you,” Alex noted, his brows furrowed. “I wonder why.”

               “Beats me,” Michael said, though secretly, he had a feeling he knew exactly why.

In trying to use his abilities, he’d been less focused on getting to know himself and his powers better, and more on being able to impress Alex, on getting him back, on his anger at Forrest – his mind had been troubled with too many thoughts, too much frustration, too much desperation to focus. In the end, he’d only hurt himself. Alex didn’t need to know that though. Michael’s troubles didn’t need to become his.

               Still, it looked like Alex had enough troubles just looking at Michael sitting in a hospital bed.

               “But you’re okay now?” Alex asked, his voice small. “You’re not in too much pain?”

               Michael watched his eyes fill with tears and everything fell into place; his hesitation, the way he held himself, the way he sat – as if terrified that any slight move might shatter the cowboy.

               Instead of answering, Michael held his arms out. Alex followed his movements and he huffed a cry before he stood and fell into Michael’s arms, wrapping his own around Michael’s shoulders.

               Michael held him tightly as he cried into his shoulder. “Shh,” he whispered. “Baby, it’s okay. I’m okay.”

               “Isobel was crying,” Alex breathed, “when she called, I – I thought –”

               Michael held onto Alex’s waist more tightly, his other hand in Alex’s hair. Alex smelled of wood and maple syrup, just like he always did, but it felt like a millennia had passed since Michael had gotten to hold him like this. He buried his face in the crook of Alex’s neck, pulling Alex’s whole body in against his.

               To feel his chest, his arms, his skin, his warmth – Michael felt so dizzy with his longing and desire that he thought he might faint again. When Alex pulled away, it felt as if Michael’s very soul was leaving his body, desperate to follow.

               Alex wiped his face, sitting on the edge of Michael’s bed instead as Michael held onto his wrist, forbidding him from moving too far away.

               “I’m sorry,” Alex said hoarsely.

               “Don’t be,” Michael said. “I’d pass out a hundred times if it means we got to do that every time I woke up.”

               Alex ducked his head. “Michael…”

               Michael squeezed Alex’s wrist once before forcing himself to let go. “I know,” he said. “I shouldn’t talk like that. You have Forrest…” he faltered at Alex’s expression. “What is it? What’s wrong?”

               Alex looked away, hugging himself once more, though Michael was relieved that he wasn’t hurting himself this time. “He came with me,” he said, and Michael tried not to let his heart fall into his stomach.

               “Y-Yeah? He’s waiting outside then?”

               Alex shook his head, wiping at his face roughly, and Michael understood. He was happy, so happy, and he felt guilty for it, because at the same time, nothing seemed worth Alex’s tears.

               “Was it because of me?”

               Alex scoffed and sniffed. “Yeah, it was,” he said, and Michael felt himself crumble only until he saw the airman’s smile. “Once again, Guerin, you’ve ruined my life.”

               Michael felt himself smile as he searched Alex’s face. There was no hostility there, no hatred, no blame – there never was. And Michael loved him. He loved him like he could never say.

               “I’m always doing that,” he said instead.

               Alex shook his head, and Michael hesitantly reached for him again. Alex bit his lower lip only for a minute before he complied, leaning into Michael’s embrace, his head on Michael’s chest as they lay in bed together. They held each other for the longest time, and Michael wondered if Kyle had taken his time getting to Max and Isobel, or if they all purposely decided to give him and Alex their time alone.

               Michael was tempted to run a hand up Alex’s shirt, to pull him under the covers with him, to kiss every inch of him right here and now, but something in the way Alex sniffled and wiped at his face every so often told Michael he just wasn’t ready for that kind of intimacy.

               Still, that didn’t keep him from running a hand up and down Alex’s back, from pressing his lips to the top of Alex’s head, from sending his other hand down Alex’s side.

               “Stop touching me like that,” Alex breathed against his collar. Michael’s hand instantly stilled.

               “Does it bother you?”

               Alex shook his head and moved closer to Michael so that he was completely curled up against the cowboy. Michael’s own heart hammered so painfully he thought it might jump out.

               “I just… want to be here with you,” he confessed quietly. “Can’t I?”

               Michael clenched his jaw, his eyes burning. If this is a dream, he silently begged, please don’t ever let me wake up.

               “Yeah, Private,” he whispered as he wrapped his arms tightly around Alex. “Yeah, you can.”

[shireness-says]

I have yearned for you (and I still do)

Summary: “There’s an irony, she thinks, to the situation they find themselves in now - he, the man who has it all together, and her, an increasingly hot mess.” Sometimes the things you need are right back where you started from. ~10.6k. Rated T for language. Also on Ao3. 

~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: For @welllpthisishappening​, who doesn’t want to talk about the revival, and @snidgetsafan​, who does. Behold: my pining-type thoughts! Thanks for your patience and encouragement as I stressed over this instead of working on my WIPs. 

Post-revival, if that’s an issue for anyone. Title from a Frank Turner song yet again, because that’s how I roll. Extra thanks to L for her beta skills.

Enjoy, and let me know what you think!

~~~~~~~~~~~

Jess is the one who comes up with her name. In retrospect, that was probably a sign.

Actually, that’s not entirely true. From the moment the sonogram tech had announced congrats, it’s a girl , it had kind of been a done deal that she would be another Lorelai. Something something tradition. But with the reigning Lorelai still alive and well and so obviously having dibs on the full name, it’d been obvious that some sort of nickname was going to come into play. 

There’d been a suggestion box in the diner after no small amount of twisting Luke’s arm, suggestions of how the heck they were supposed to shorten Lorelai, and then a follow-up poll of the options Rory had actually liked (because she was not calling the kid “Loreo, like Oreo!”, thank you, Cesar). It’d been nice, actually, and a good way to channel the collective energy of the denizens of Stars Hollow without being stopped on the street every three minutes when her feet already hurt like hell. 

Anyways. In the polling, “Elle” had won, and Rory had actually really liked it. Something the kiddo had a chance to grow into - feminine, delicate yet strong, a name that would fit a little girl or a grown adult. And, c’mon - in the Gilmore household, they’ve always liked Legally Blonde anyways. There’s worse role models than Reese Witherspoon being unapologetically herself. 

But. 

The thing is, as much as Rory had though it was cute back when the kid was an unrealized idea, just a little mooch taking her energy and appetite for normal things, it’s a very different thing to hold her baby for the first time - her tiny girl, here and screaming and with wisps of the softest blonde hair. And she just can’t do it. It feels too on the nose, to call this little blonde baby Elle - like she’s about to doom this tiny person to a lifetime of not being taken seriously. She deserves better than that. 

She doesn’t go nameless; it’s easy to fill out the birth certificate Lorelai Richard Gilmore , even if the nurse casts a funny look at the choice of middle name. She’s never been a staunch traditionalist anyways, and Rory had wanted to honor her grandfather regardless if the baby had been a boy or a girl. He would have loved having a great-granddaughter to spoil in the way he and Grandma had been denied when she was a baby - and besides, even if Emily shakes her head about the unconventional choice, it makes her smile fondly too. 

Still - there’s a difference between what someone is named and what someone is called, and the latter for the youngest Lorelai is still a great big question mark. Rory runs back through the list of runners up, but nothing fits .

“I was supposed to have this figured out by now,” she whines to Jess when he drops by to visit and meet the baby. He’s been a huge help as she tries to write her book, and after years of awkward “what the hell even are we”, Rory feels like they’re finally back in a good place, back to being friends. She likes being friends, like him being one of her people again, even if the 2nd trimester horniness and wanting to jump his bones never really went away. But she’s not really in a place to think about that right now. “Aren’t I supposed to be able to just, like, look at her and know what her destined name is supposed to be?”

“Yes, because motherhood automatically grants mystical powers,” he replies wryly. “I think that whole thing is a myth, Gilmore.”

He looks good holding a baby - surprisingly comfortable too. It makes her realize, not for the first time, that he built himself a whole life she doesn’t know about while she ran around the world, trying to figure out what would make her happy - a life with a business and a purpose and probably friends with kids. Not at all the boy she met more than a decade ago. 

(It is something she tries not to focus too much on, for fear of where it might lead - to the realization that she may not really know him at all, or more dangerously, the realization that she wants to.)

“Ivy,” he says out of nowhere. “You should call her Ivy.”

“Ivy?” It hadn’t been one of the names any suggested before, but in a weird way, it fits. Something soft and strong and neutral, a name that could become anything. A name she can make her own.

“Yeah. I mean, she’s Lorelai the fourth, right? Lorelai the fourth. Lorelai I-V. Ivy.”

And it’s - well, the name is so right, but the logic behind it is so Jess. Because he’s always been clever like that - not even aware that there’s a box he’s thinking outside of. She likes, too, that now that he’s made the suggestion, he doesn’t try to backtrack or explain anything away, try to tell her she doesn’t have to listen. He knows she knows that. Jess has never been one to fill a silence just because it exists.

“I like that,” she finally says. “Ivy Gilmore.”

“Then congratulations - it’s a name.”

———

Telling Logan had been hard - harder than making herself take the test, harder than telling her mom. Because they’re not an item anymore, you know? They’ve gone their separate ways, ended whatever dynamic they’ve had going the last couple of years, and under normal circumstances, it would be easier to keep her distance. No contact, end it all firmly and definitively and for good .

A baby complicates that, and throws that possibility straight out the window.

She can’t really say she’s disappointed in Logan’s response, not when it plays out pretty much exactly the way Rory assumed it would. Nothing changes; they don’t get back together, and he doesn’t leave the French heiress. Rory isn’t certain she’d want either of those things anyways. He’d offered to support her in whatever decision she made, and that was more or less it. He’s never been great with emotions, and having a kid doesn’t show signs of changing that. 

(Rory hadn’t expected him to be a hands-on partner in this - not even remotely - but it still aches, knowing this is the beginning of what will be a pattern in their child’s life.)

Now, all these months later, Rory texts him a picture from the hospital once the parade of visitors has gone home. Even in the midst of that disappointment, he deserves to know.

Lorelai Richard Gilmore IV. 7 lbs, 2 oz. We’re calling her Ivy.

His reply comes through a half hour later. Congrats, Ace - she’s beautiful, just like her mother. 

(She’ll never admit it later - but when she receives his response, it takes everything in her not to cry.) 

———

It’s nerve-wracking, bringing Ivy home from the hospital and back to her mom’s house - like Rory shouldn’t be trusted to leave with such precious cargo. The hospital had been safe , and the big wide world out there feels full of dangers as she carefully steps out into the June sunshine, the baby carrier in hand. It’s this moment, of all times, that makes Rory feel like a parent for the first time - like it’s her sole job to protect and nurture this tiny person that she made.

Lorelai and Luke’s is just a temporary stopping place, just until Rory can get her feet beneath her in this whole motherhood thing. It’s terrifying, knowing that she’ll have to be doing this on her own soon enough. She’s taken the classes and read countless books and websites, but it’s a very different thing once you’re handed a tiny, wrinkly baby and are expected to figure it out. 

“How did you do it?” she asks her mom that first night, sitting in the kitchen together while Ivy nurses and Luke’s asleep upstairs. “I mean, I don’t know what the hell I’m doing, and I’m in my thirties. You were sixteen .”

“I did it because I had to, babe,” her mom replies, reaching across the table to tuck a lock of hair back behind Rory’s ear. “I knew I wanted to give you the best life I could, so… I had to figure it out. Looking back now, Mom and Dad would have helped, and they tried, but I didn’t want that. I mean, we’re okay-ish now, but I didn’t want you growing up under the same pressure I did. So I went out and figured it out because I had to. You were the making of me, kiddo. And I’ll tell you now - that kid’s going to change you in ways you can’t even imagine now. And it’ll all be worth it.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. I look at you every day, and I’m so proud - and I made that. Pretty cool, huh? And each day as she gets older, you’re going to get to do that too. You’ll figure this out. I know you will. You’re going to be a great mom.”

By the time Lorelai is done, Rory feels tears trying to form in her eyes. Something something hormones. “Thanks, mom.”

“Anytime, hon.”

———

She’s living in Luke’s old apartment above the diner. It’s the illusion of independence - it doesn’t feel like she’s living with her mother any more, especially now that she’s got a kid of her own, but she’s not paying rent either (no matter how much she had offered). The truth of the matter is that, except for Ivy’s things, she’s living out of boxes. There hadn’t been any sense to staying in New York, not when her income stream is so up in the air; besides, as much as Rory had loved the city for herself, she isn’t sure she’d want to raise her daughter there. Stars Hollow may be a bit loony, like a place out of a YA coming-of-age novel, but there’d been love in every single corner. She’d wanted that for Ivy, even when she was just two lines on a test stick - to grow up with this whole zany extended family. Rory’s own blood family is tiny, and even if Logan was eager to be involved, his isn’t much bigger; Ivy can use all the proto-aunts and -uncles and -grandparents she can gather. 

(Rory does feel some guilt on the rent front, but Luke wouldn’t hear of it. He’d waved it off in that grumpy way of his, some excuse about being too old to have a crying infant disturbing their sleep in the Queen Anne where Rory had grown up, but she remembers the way Luke had once called her a little bit his . This is his way of quietly looking after his grown almost-daughter - and looking at it like that, there’s no way she’d turn down the offer.)

(She knows for certain it’s all an excuse after Ivy is born, when Luke turns into every inch the doting grandfather, bouncing and cooing at the baby every time she expresses even the mildest displeasure. Too old for crying infants , her ass.)

The apartment is the same as ever, from the block letters on the door to the dark wood furniture inside. Honestly, it looks like the only thing Luke has updated in the past decade was replacing the refrigerator, and Rory doubts that was just on a whim. There’s a comfort to that same-ness - of knowing that some things never change, and don’t have to. She has so many memories up here, especially from that period when she and Jess had been dating. The blankets on the spare bed are different now - lavender and spring green for April, instead of the bachelor plaids Luke had scrounged up when Jess had moved in - but the couch is the same, and the kitchen table where they’d pretended to study, and the tiny closet of a bathroom where she’d try desperately to straighten her hair before heading home. A simpler time, in some ways - but a more complicated one too. Rory had been the town princess then, the perennial good girl , and for all of his brains and sarcastic charm, Jess had been a mess in many ways. Now, things are a bit more grey - where Rory doesn’t quite have her act together, and Jess is the one with a life and a career and a calling. She’s proud of him in so many ways, but it leaves her feeling off balance, and as much of that is about her own adrift state, there’s no denying that part of it is about this unexpected reversal. So much will never change in Stars Hollow - but somehow, this has. 

———

Logan finally comes stateside, to Stars Hollow, when Ivy is a little over five weeks old. 

They meet at the Dragonfly, because it seems the most neutral spot. Lorelai may have capital-o Opinions, but she’ll keep them to herself if Rory asks, and it’s still better than pulling him through the diner up to the apartment, where overprotective townies will glare and Kirk might try to challenge him to a duel for her honor or something. No one ever knows with Kirk. 

Logan meeting Ivy is… he makes all the right moves in the moment, you know? He smiles and bounces her and looks at her like some sort of precious mystery. But Rory can see too, already, from years of experience, that he’s got the makings of another Christopher. As much as she knows that he’ll love the kid they made, and do his best to take care of her, he’s not ready, and Rory can’t force him to be. Even in his thirties, Logan has a lot of growing up to do. 

“I went ahead and set up a fund for her college,” he makes sure to say before he departs, flying out of Boston that very afternoon to take care of some business in LA, “but you’ll let me know if she needs anything, right Ace? Or if you do?”

“I promise. Scout’s honor, cross my heart.”

“She really is beautiful, Rory. Thanks for this - letting me be a part of it.”

And then, before she knows it, he’s gone.

(She’ll never regret the times they were together, not when it brought her their daughter, but Ivy has made it all too obvious why they never would have lasted. Rory has long since stopped wondering what things would have been like if she had said yes, all those years ago when Logan had proposed. This is proof enough - a life spent hoping for something he’s not willing or able to give, and watching him climb onto an airplane over and over again.)

(In some moments, Rory almost thinks Logan’s absence is for the best when she remembers the utter horror that is his family - the way his mother doesn’t care about anything but her creature comforts, and Mitchum doesn’t care about anything but himself and his impossible standards. Rory may feel guilty about it, but sometimes, she’s relieved that Logan’s absence means that Ivy will never have to face their condescension the way Rory had to with Straub and Francine. It is a small blessing to be found in the tragedy that she’s afraid Logan’s involvement, and lack thereof, will turn into.)

When Jess comes by later to talk about the book and probably watch a movie, he finds her crying in the kitchen, trying to keep quiet so as not to wake Ivy. He pulls her into his arms seemingly without a second thought, and Rory lets herself melt into the hug, just for the moment. 

“It’s leftover hormones,” she tries to excuse, but they both know better. They’re both products of absentee fathers, after all, both know the ways that can shape a child. Jess knows full well what happened today; it’s probably why he’s here tonight, to pull her from the worst of her self pity. They both know her tears aren’t for herself, for the death of a relationship that’s long since ended; they’re for Ivy, and a relationship that maybe won’t start. 

“She won’t be alone,” he makes sure to tell her once Rory’s calmed down enough to be rational. “I mean, even beyond you and your mom and Emily, there’s Luke and Lane’s husband and a whole host of other guys who can step up. Hell, Kirk in all his weird glory has probably got some qualification to adopt her. And you know I’ll be here, as long as you want me to be.”

“Yeah?” Rory’s throat is still clogged, but she’ll take it as a win that she didn’t sniffle. It’s too significant a moment to mar that way. 

“What can I say, she’s cute enough to hold my attention.”

“You always were a sucker for a Gilmore,” she laughs, trying to lighten the mood. 

“Yeah, well, someone’s got to make sure you’re aware vegetables exist.”

And just like that, even as Rory’s tears are still dissipating, the mood is lifted into safer territory. That’s Jess, though, isn’t it? All that emotion, hidden behind a front of sarcasm. After all of the mistakes of his youth, he’s grown into a man people can count on; he’s proved that these last couple years, as Rory has found herself floundering.

They’ll be lucky to have him in their lives.

———

After that last night on the town with Logan and his friends, Rory expected to never see any of the members of the Life and Death Brigade again. They’ve had their fun together, over the years; Rory will certainly never forget all the crazy shenanigans they all got up to together. But as much as she’s enjoyed their time together, those have always been more Logan’s friends than her own. 

It comes as a surprise, then, when all of them - Finn and Colin and Robert, the three musketeers or three amigos - all make a point to call and text and, eventually, drop by. They’re a little fascinated by the baby, this sudden proof that someone in their sphere really has grown up. As nervous as it makes her at first, to let these crazy, careless men sit in the diner and take a turn carefully holding Ivy, it’s cute and funny to see the way they handle her like some kind of unknown, volatile science experiment. 

It’s funny, really, how differently they all react to the various daddy issues in their life. With Logan, it’s made him eager to live up to Mitchum’s impossible standards, no matter how much he tries to claim otherwise. With the rest of the Brigade, it’s somehow had the opposite effect. They all run away from responsibility whenever it gets too close, and Rory isn’t remotely in denial about that, but they’re somehow desperate to love and be loved, too, all of them. They’ll never be the guys she calls for babysitting, not if she wants Ivy back in one piece, but Rory thinks they could be the fun uncles instead - not a constant presence in Ivy’s life, but the kind of figures who will send a dozen roses and maybe a singing telegram to a kindergarten graduation or gift an impractical car for her sixteenth birthday.

(And in the empty space Logan seems determined to leave - Rory will take whatever she can get.)

———

Jess has been around a lot more than Rory anticipated, really. It’s not that he’s stayed away from Stars Hollow in past years; his life may be based in Philadelphia now, what with Truncheon and all, but she knows he’s made a point to drive up a couple of times a year to see Luke and Liz and his little sister, Doula. Since Rory’s come back to town, though, he seems to be around at least once a month - checking in, offering support with the book or anything else, and generally being a friend. It’s not something Rory’s particularly inclined to question, happy just to have him back in her life, but it doesn’t go unnoticed, either. 

“He’s been around a lot,” Luke comments pointedly. “Know anything about that?”

“He’s helping with the book,” Rory explains wearily. It’s an explanation she’s made a lot of times, to a lot of people, though she never figured Luke - level-headed Luke, who usually runs from gossip and emotions like an Olympic sprinter - would be one of them. 

“Whatever you say, Rory.”

Only the delivery of her burger had stopped a full-blown debate - something Luke had likely known. You don’t live with a Gilmore Girl for a decade without picking up a few tricks. 

(She’s trying not to read too much into it - the way he keeps showing up to sit in an empty desk at the Gazette office and listen to her talk until she works out her own writing blocks - but others apparently don’t have that same compunction. Then again, Luke has never been called subtle .)

By the time Ivy is born, Rory thinks the book is maybe two-thirds of the way done, thanks in large part to Jess’ encouragement. At least halfway, for sure. It’s a different kind of writing than she’s used to, after years of news articles and five-page magazine spreads, but it’s the good kind of challenge. There are days the words just flow out of her, memory mixing with prose to create something wonderful, and there are days she stumbles more. The personal nature of the project accounts for most of her hold-ups. Rory knows what makes for a good story, what will best illustrate the points she’s trying to get across, but it’s about her , and her mom, and all the other people in this crazy town that she loves. There’s not the same distance that she might find if she was writing about post-apocalyptic teens, or whatever other kind of fiction is in vogue these days. 

“Why did I decide to do this?” Rory groans, sitting on the couch in the apartment with Jess and her laptop, watching as Ivy pedals her arms and legs on her playmat on the floor. “Why did you talk me into writing this? This is your fault, you know.”

“Yes, I’m an evil genius forcing you to write a book. Absolute cruelty,” he snarks back. “Talk to me again tomorrow or next week when you figure out what needs to change for your current hurdle to make sense.”

“Why do you have to be the voice of reason?”

Jess’ face is unusually earnest when he turns to look at her - or as least as earnest as Jess ever gets. “Because I know you can do this, Rory. You might be the most determined person I know - if you want to write a book, it’s going to happen. I’m just here to listen to you whine until you’re ready to get back to the grindstone.”

“An invaluable service, really.”

“Damn straight. I’m an expert in that field.”

And he’s right - because a few days later, Rory busts through her block and gets back to flying through sentences and paragraphs. 

(She’d tell him what that kind of encouragement does for her - but then again, he probably already knows.)

———

Rory doesn’t have a regular job, per se, at least not right now; Ivy takes up so much of her time, and in between she’s desperately trying to put her book down on paper. She’s still the editor and primary contributor of the Stars Hollow Gazette, but it’s hard to call that steady work. There’s not enough going on in this little town for that, and most months accounts of the latest town meetings and whatever festival or fundraiser is being held in their little hamlet take up the sparse pages. It’s work that lets her feel like she’s accomplishing something - but in any other circumstance, one where she’s not simultaneously taking care of an infant, it wouldn’t be nearly enough to do, with the skimpy compensation to match.

It’s a shock when she gets a call out of the blue from Headmaster Charleston, asking if she’d like to come back to Chilton to head up a weekly journalism class. Privately, Rory suspects her grandmother of meddling; even if she now lives in Nantucket, content to build a new life and new purpose, Emily’s years of networking and most of her connections still stand, and she’s still not above pulling on those strings for what she believes is the benefit of all. It’s all too easy to accept the offer when she’s not in much of a position to say no. There’s the argument, too, that maybe this will help Rory figure out what she wants to do; perhaps teaching is her real calling.

(Somehow, Rory doubts that.)

As much as she loves Ivy, marvels at all the little changes and developments that come so quickly in these early months, it’s nice to have a standing appointment every Wednesday to get out of the apartment and out of Stars Hollow and put on real pants for a change. Chilton is the same as ever, all tall gothic arches and meticulously pruned shrubs, but somehow it seems less intimidating than it did when she was a student. Not smaller, like all the high school reunion cliches, but less… weighty. It’s no longer some mountain she has to climb like it was back when she was a teenager; it can be just a building and a repository for her memories. 

Rory finds that she likes teaching the class, actually, even if she can’t see herself making a career out of it. It’s nice to keep this just as a side gig, coming to campus once a week, only committed to teaching the one ninety minute class. She knows for certain that she’d go insane if she was committed to teaching three or four periods every day of the week, but this? This is sharing her knowledge and her passion with a small group of students who want to be here, who signed up for this elective on purpose. It’s like revisiting her own time as a student - covering the evolution of the profession and talkabout all the things she wished she knew when she first started at the Yale Daily News. With only one class, too, she doesn’t feel bad about seeking out one of the coffee shops she used to go to, back when she went to Chilton, in order to grade homework without distractions before she has to pick Ivy up from her mom at the Dragonfly.

It’s not her calling - but it’s a nice distraction. 

———

Most afternoons, Rory camps out at one of the tables by the bay window down in the diner with her laptop and tries to write. Tries is the operative word, of course; this is a social town, and not to be too vain, but she’s a popular lady. It’s still easier to take the baby monitor downstairs while Ivy’s napping, as the open floorplan of the apartment makes it difficult to do anything without waking the baby. 

(Yeah, she knows she’s supposed to sleep when the baby sleeps and all that - but clearly, whoever came up with that catchphrase wasn’t trying to write a novel at the same time.)

Today, a quiet Tuesday afternoon at the end of the lunch rush, her distraction has nothing to do with catty townsfolk. Today, Luke roped the visiting Jess into filling in for the usual waitress, and the sight is… something to behold. Jess has filled out since they first met, no longer the skinny, lanky kid she knew in high school; that much has been obvious for the last several years. But there’s something about the rolled up sleeves today, the way his arms keep flexing as he delivers and clears plates, that leaves Rory unable to look away. 

“When did you get built , Mariano?” she teases as he comes around with another coffee refill - still decaf, much to her chagrin, but what are you going to do.

Jess slides into the chair across from her, snagging his own mug off of an empty set table to pour his own cup of the brew. With an exaggerated glance down at his own arm, he shrugs. “Dunno. Took up boxing a couple years ago. Why, you see something you like, Gilmore?” he finishes with that cocky little smirk that’s always made her all fluttery. Some things really haven’t changed over the years. 

“What can I say, I’m a red-blooded American female.” After a moment, the first part of his response catches up to her tired brain. “Wait, you said boxing? Like - ”

Jess groans. “Do not make a Rocky joke, Rory, I swear to God - ”

“I’m just saying, you live in Philadelphia! Maybe you’ve gone native! I mean, I would have pegged you for obnoxious cheesesteak opinions instead of this, but to each his own - ”

“This is not some weird ‘gone native’ thing,” he scoffs. It’s evident he knows she’s teasing him, though, in the way the side of his mouth struggles not to quirk up. It’s nice, reminiscent of the banter they used to toss back and forth. “This is… it’s good exercise, ok? And a much better outlet for my frustrations than whatever self-destructive spirals I used to get into.”

Rory gapes, struck speechless for a rare moment. “Jess Mariano, did you go to therapy ?” 

A little bit of color flushes on his neck, but he otherwise keeps his composure. It’s not that she has anything against him going to therapy - frankly, they’re both prime candidates for a doctor’s couch, regardless of whether they want to admit it. It’s just surprising, somehow, to hear that Jess of all people is seeing someone, talking things out. Good for him, honestly - for the therapy and for being open about it. It’s another sign of how far he’s come since they were still those idiot teenagers. “Heard it was the trendy thing to do these days.”

“And you’re nothing if not a hip lemming, always following the crowd.”

“Yes, that is the one thing that people have always said about me. I’m such a follower.”

Somehow, she can’t help but grin at this, the way they sass each other back and forth. So often these past months, since Ivy was born, Rory has felt too tired to keep up with her usual self, to dish things out with the speed and array of references that she’s used to. It’s a relief to reclaim that, even just for a moment.

Before the moment can blossom any further, Babette waves Jess down from across the diner for her own refill. “Try not to get distracted by the gun show, alright, Rory?” he jabs as he stands up in his dry, teasing voice. “That book won’t write itself.”

(And if she sneaks another handful of glances before she hears Ivy start to fuss on the baby monitor - well, he’s good enough not to mention it.)

———

In a weird way, having Ivy brings Rory’s friendship with Lane into perspective.

Rory doesn’t remember a lot of the first year of Lane’s twins’ lives; the fact of the matter is that she hadn’t been around to make those memories. She only realizes now just how much Lane was on her own - Rory had been off following the Obama campaign, and Zach had been on tour for months at Lane’s insistence. Some days Rory feels like she can barely keep her head above water, and she’s only got the one baby to contend with; it’s a miracle Lane didn’t snap while having to care for two on her own. 

“I really admire you, you know,” Rory tells Lane during a lunch date at the antique shop while Kwan and Steve are at school. Lane sits across the table, same as it ever was, happily making faces at Ivy in her arms. 

“How’s that?” Lane asks.

“Because… I don’t know, I feel like I’m losing myself in the mom-ness of it all some days. I don’t get how you made it through that first year without Zach here most of the time and still stayed… Lane .”

“I mean, I wasn’t fully alone,” Lane points out. “I had my parents. Mom especially. Having her help with the boys really finally healed that relationship, which I’m not sure would have happened otherwise.”

“Yeah, that’s true. But, I mean, you’ve still got the band and you still keep up with all these up and coming music acts and - I don’t know. Maybe this is just baby brain, but I have trouble thinking about all the things I’d normally like to do. Seeing movies and new TV shows and whatever else. It’s like… all the Rory bits of my brain are just being taken over by Ivy bits.”

“It gets better in time,” Lane assures her, shifting Ivy to cover Rory’s hand on the table next to the rice cakes neither have touched. “She’ll get older and more independent, and you’ll have time again to be Rory. Besides, you’re not alone either,” she adds. “Not only do you have your mom and Luke and a whole town of affectionate maniacs, but you’ve got me. You can drop this cutie with me, her godmother, anytime you need a break.”

“Didn’t you reject religion years ago?”

“That’s a good point - but also, I’ve decided it’s not relevant right now.”

———

Motherhood, as a whole, is rewarding. There’s something magical about the way Ivy looks at her and looks like her, something earth shattering about the kind of trust she exhibits every time she smiles or reaches for Rory. It’s purpose, in a way that Rory was never entirely sure that she wanted; now, like every cliche ever written, she can’t imagine life any other way. 

For all of the magical moments, though, there are moments like this - hours and days where Ivy won’t stop crying, refusing to be soothed no matter how long she’s held or how much she’s bounced and swayed. It feels like Rory’s tried everything - the changing, the feeding, the singing, the music, the lighter clothes. Everything. None of it works, not even for a moment, and Rory’s at her wit’s end, practically in tears herself as she bounces around the apartment with her tiny banshee in her arms. 

“Please stop crying, baby,” she pleads, stroking the wisps of reddish fluff at the top of Ivy’s small head. The blonde hair had fallen out at six weeks, much to Rory’s guilty relief, and was growing back in a shade reminiscent of Emily’s natural shade. Not that she can focus on it right now. “I’ll do anything , baby, just… I don’t know what you want. What do you want ?”

Ivy doesn’t answer though, too young for anything but these screams. The never ending screams. The screams that leave Rory feeling more desperate, more on-edge than ever in her life. 

It’s not a great time for someone to knock at the apartment door; frankly, it’s probably a miracle that Rory even hears it. Under more normal circumstances, she might care that Jess sees her like this when she opens the door - unshowered, exhausted, barely holding it together - but she’s reached a point where she’s incapable of caring about anything but stopping the crying. 

“Were we supposed to meet?” she asks, tears rising to the surface as the very prospect proves just one too many things to handle. “I’m so sorry, Ivy’s been fussy all week, I completely forgot - ”

“No, I know,” Jess interrupts. “We didn’t have plans, Luke mentioned you were having a rough week. I figured I’d come up, give you a bit of a break.”

It doesn’t help. “I’m - it’s ok, I can handle this. You think I can’t handle this?” The words come out more frantically than she would have liked, but she’s not thinking straight anymore, and Ivy’s still crying —

“You know I don’t think that, Rory,” he says, in as much as a soothing voice as Jess can muster. He’s never been much for displays of emotion. “I just want to help. Let me take the howler monkey for a couple hours. You can have a shower, get a nap, come back thinking clearer. Alright?”

Her pride demands she say no - to not ask for help. It’s a streak so reminiscent of her own mother. But she’s so tired, and her ears will be ringing from the cries and screams for ages to come, and it’s too tempting an offer to deny. Resignedly, she nods, handing over the baby. “Ok. Yeah, ok, thank you. Let me get you the baby bag, and the carrier, and - ”

“Nope,” Jess interrupts, already starting a half-conscious bounce to try and settle Ivy and waving off all of Rory’s attempts at protest. “Look, I spent a lot of time here way back when, helping Doula make it to her first birthday. I know the drill. You’re veering towards Liz-level crazed, so go take a moment for yourself before it becomes permanent, alright?”

Somehow, Rory finds herself nodding, though she can’t help but try and reclaim a bit of the banter - or a bit of normality, more like. “You can’t really call her a howler monkey, though. She’s not howling yet.”

“Yeah, well, I don’t know that screaming monkeys are a thing, so we’ll make do. And the operative term is yet .”

As much as it hurts to admit, he’s right - after a shower and a couple hours’ nap, Rory feels… not quite like a new woman, but at least prepared to enter the fray for another round. Lately, that’s enough of a win. When she wanders back downstairs, Jess sits outside on a park bench with Ivy shaded in her carrier from the worst of the summer sun. His foot absentmindedly rocks the carrier back and forth periodically as he reads a well-worn paperback whose cover she can’t make out. 

He looks up as soon as the bell on the diner door jingles, putting the book aside when he sees Rory stepping down. Blessedly, Ivy’s cries have ceased for the moment. “Don’t get too excited,” Jess cautions her. “Think she just cried herself out for the moment. I’m not remotely confident she won’t start again once she wakes up.”

“I’ll take what I can get.” Rory gladly collapses onto the bench beside him, caving to the urge to lean into his body and rest her head on his shoulder. “Thanks for this. I clearly needed it.”

Jess just hums in response at first. They sit in silence for several minutes, just soaking in the day and watching preparations for whatever the carnival of the month might be in the town square, before he finally uses his words. “That’s not your fault, you know,” he assures her. “Babies are just like that. They go through spurts where it’s all crying all the time. You know that, from Lane’s and Paris’ kids.”

“I know,” Rory sighs. “I just didn’t realize how… helpless I’d feel. All the sleep deprivation and parental instinct and everything combining into straight up panic. I just felt like it was something I had to figure out, you know? I mean, this probably isn’t the last time.”

“Yeah, but you don’t have to do it on your own. Call your mom, or Lane, or Luke, see if they’ll give you a hand for a couple of hours. Hell, give me a call, I’ll drive up if I have to. You don’t have to do it alone.”

“I know.” The moment sits between them as Rory processes. He’s right, of course; so often these past years, he’s been the voice of reason when she needs it most. “Thanks, Jess.”

“Not a big deal.”

Rory finally finds the light way out of this, and she takes it. “So, did Miss Patty or Babette happen to see you during your babysitting adventure?”

He groans. “Put it this way: we both should brace for some real creative comments in the next few weeks, and I for one plan to make myself scarce.”

———

She thinks about her grandfather a lot.

Richard had been such a steady figure in her life since the age of 15; for all of the heart and health problems he'd had in that time, he’d always seem invincible. Timeline - like he’d always been there, and would always be there. His death had been a shock, no matter how much it shouldn’t have been. Grandpa had believed in her so strongly too, that she could do anything she set her mind to. Of course, Rory thinks he probably never would have guessed she’d wind up here, after a life with everything so carefully planned.

“What do you think Grandpa would have thought of this?” she asks her grandmother during a more vulnerable moment. Emily’s Nantucket cottage isn’t even remotely as grand as the Hartford house had been, but there’s something more homey about it, and there’s still plenty of room for Rory and Ivy to come stay a few days over the October break. The sea breeze and change of scenery has sparked words in a way Rory hadn’t anticipated, but fully intends to take advantage of, and Emily loves the chance to spend time with her great-granddaughter, even if the ‘great’ makes her nose scrunch up in a very particular way. It aches a little for Rory to watch, knowing her grandmother probably wanted this back when Rory was a baby; then again, knowing the way Emily had wanted to raise Lorelai in their upper crust image, and gladly offered some of those same trappings to Rory, maybe this is for the best. Richard’s death has fractured Emily, but it’s softened her too, as much as that’s possible for Emily - made her loosen up, live in the moment more and worry about appearances less. 

(Emily has offered, more than once and in a way veering towards insistence, to host Rory and Ivy here at the cottage for as long as they liked, but Rory keeps finding ways to turn her down. As much as she understands and accepts Emily’s desire to be involved in her great-granddaughter’s young life in a way she couldn’t be involved in Rory’s for so long, Rory understands, too, all the reasons why Lorelai set out on her own in the first place. She doesn’t quite understand where she’s going right now, but Rory knows that’s something she’ll have to figure out for herself. Emily, for better or for worse, wants the best for those she loves, and has always believed the best is a mirror image of the life she leads. That life now is different in so many ways from the one she was living before Richard died, but the urge is still there - and Rory isn’t sure she’s ready to spend her life in Nantucket, talking about whales. No, for now, a series of short visits is much better.)

“What do you mean?” Emily asks absently, comparing the look of two vases on a sideboard that look entirely identical to Rory. 

“I mean, this probably isn’t where he saw me going. I can’t imagine what he’d think about me writing a book about the way I grew up. I just… do you think he’d be proud of me?”

Her grandmother sets both vases down with a gentleness that is contradictory to the way she crosses to Rory with determination in every movement. “Rory,” she says, placing her hands on Rory’s sweatshirt-clad shoulders, “your grandfather was always proud of you. Always . Even if we didn’t imagine this would be the path you’d take, I don’t think there’s anything you could do that would make him anything less than proud, and delighted you were his granddaughter.”

“Yeah?”

“Of course. And I feel the same way.” With a last squeeze to Rory’s shoulders, Emily lets go and crosses back to her decorating with a smile. “Of course, after those years teaching, he would have edited your manuscript with a colored pen in hand. I’ll do you the favor of declining that form of editing.”

Rory laughs, knowing her grandmother is right; Richard had loved teaching those econ classes, and had taken to it like a duck to water. He wouldn’t be able to help himself. “I like remembering him like that,” she admits. “Excited to learn and share. I loved having those moments with him.”

Emily smiles fondly, sadly. They’re all slowly learning how to live in a world without him. “I did too.”

———

I want to drink in a bar. My kitchen feels depressing , the text from Paris demands. Let me know your schedule.

(She’s never been much for requests.)

Tact and lack thereof aside, it’s good to see Paris; Rory is more-or-less glad to consider her old schoolmate one of her best friends, inexplicably, but they’ve always both been too busy to really keep up with anything more than the occasional text, conversations often winding up spaced out over the course of several days as both get pulled in every-which direction. Even if Rory doesn’t have the same work demands now, Paris definitely still does. While she’d been an invaluable resource while Rory was pregnant, insisting on providing her with the names of the best doctors out there, they’ve both been too busy with their own lives for more than the occasional call since. This is well overdue - especially with Paris’ kids with Doyle for the week and Ivy at Lorelai’s for the night.

They go out to New Haven and hit the bars around Yale in what is probably some kind of misguided attempt to reclaim their youth. It’s been ten years; they’re obviously not students anymore. But it’s fun to sit in a grimy bar for the night and pretend they’re not thinking about all the terrible terrible substances that have been spilled on every surface. 

They try to keep conversation light, to talk about books Rory’s read lately and Paris’ latest crazy client and all the little milestones their children are hitting. Albums they want to listen to and movies they want to see. Paris’ lengthy opinions about the bars near her in New York. All the little nothings that somehow form a lasting friendship. Maybe it’s the venue, though, or maybe it’s just an inevitability, but somehow they find themselves talking men over a third drink like they’re 22 again.

“I miss Doyle,” Paris confesses. “I miss my Doyle, not this cool screenwriting asshole he wants to turn into. He was a neurotic bastard, but he was my neurotic bastard, you know?”

“That’s the best description of Doyle I’ve heard in years,” Rory replies, examining her drink. It’s a garish blue - something that had seemed fun half a glass ago, but just seems questionable now. “So what, then - you guys going to get back together?”

“I don’t know. I mean, obviously I can’t bring that up. He’s the one who changed and suggested the stupid separation, he’s gotta be the one to fix it.”

(Rory isn’t entirely sure that’s how it works, but she knows better than to get into it with Paris when she’s stubborn about something.)

“What about you, though?” she continues, flagging down the bartender for a refill of her cosmo. “You aren’t still going to try and mend things with Logan, are you?”

“God no. I mean, obviously there’s love there, or there was, but that’s over. He’s not really… ready for all of this. Growing up in a way that doesn’t mean just following in his father’s footsteps.”

“I never really liked him, you know.”

Rory snorts. “Bullshit. You loved the banter.”

Paris toasts a concession. “Fine. But I never liked him after the bridesmaids debacle.”

“Fair enough.”

Rory thinks that’s it, as Paris reaches for the nachos on their appetizer platter. Well, not quite an appetizer platter; they’d just ordered all the finger food that was available and let it take up most of the table. Paris is full of surprises, though. “What about Jess?”

Rory tries not to accidentally inhale an ice cube. “What about Jess?”

“I mean, he’s been around, right? And looking hotter than ever.”

“Oh my god , Paris.”

“What? I’m just saying. No one would blame you. Or, you know, be surprised about you getting back together with your high school love who just happens to be an author. That’s better than any shitty script Doyle could come up with, even if it is a bit trite. I mean, he’s there all the time. And he’s still got that hair, right?”

“It is good hair,” Rory admits. Probably a sign she needs to switch to water. “Can we drop this, please? Nothing is going to happen.”

“If you say so, Gilmore.”

( Did you know that Paris has a thing for your hair? she texts after the fourth drink - in hot pink this time. 

What can I say, she’s a woman of taste , he responds.)

(And if Paris shoots her a smug look from the bar - well, she’d drunk texted Doyle too, so she has no room to judge.)

———

Some nights, they do nothing more than sit in the darkened diner with leftover pie and a coffee or beer, chatting the night away. It feels like old times, back when they were just a couple of idiots. It’s nice to pretend for a couple hours that they’re still those teenagers, and not a single mom still trying to figure out where she’s going and an acclaimed author ignoring his next deadline. There’s an irony, she thinks, to the situation they find themselves in now - he, the man who has it all together, and her, an increasingly hot mess. It’s not how anyone would have expected they’d end up. 

She mentions it to him one night, only for Jess to snort in amusement. “Ok, you are not a hot mess,” he tells her. “Not even close.”

“You sure about that? Because it sure feels like my life is a disaster most days.”

“I’ve seen hot mess Rory,” he tells her. “This isn’t it. You go big or go home. Last time you descended to a genuine hot mess, you stole a fucking yacht .”

“It wasn’t a yacht, it was a boat,” Rory mumbles in protest, even as she smiles behind her mug of decaf. 

“It was a yacht, and you know it. You stole it from a marina that wouldn’t accept anything as mundane as a boat . I can break out the dictionary if you want, but you know I’m right. My point is ,” he plows ahead before she can interrupt, “you are not nearly the disaster you think you are right now. This is just… a stumbling block. You’ll figure it out.”

“I’ll have to,” Rory replies with a sly grin. “No yachts to steal in Stars Hollow.”

(As much as she may laugh it off, and he may let her, it strikes Rory’s heart in some particular way to hear the confidence Jess has in her, the way he’s so quick to assure her that she’s not entirely off track and adrift - that this is just a detour. There’s something different about hearing it from him, and not from her mother or grandmother. Jess always seems to be the one to steer her back on track - and this seems to be just another case.)

———

Rory has never been one of those obnoxious new year, new me! types, but she’s veering dangerously close this time. After a year of so much change and uncertainty, it feels like a chance to turn over a new leaf and rediscover so much of the direction that she’s lost. 

Though it feels like she still might jinx it, it feels like things are finally coming back together. Chilton has contracted her to teach her class in the spring semester again, and she’s picked up some work writing book reviews for an online publication. That feels a little like coming back to her roots, in a way - she started at a little online setup, and now, after years of chasing glossy magazines and newsprint, she’s back here again. But the assignment is enjoyable, and money is money - especially since she’s got her eye on a small house for rent near where Lane lives, in a neighborhood of quaint bungalows. She’ll always be grateful to Luke for his generosity in letting her live above the diner for so long, but it’s not workable long term. Ivy is growing every day; while Rory’s homecoming back to Stars Hollow has brought into focus that this is the place she wants to raise her daughter, they both need more space. Ivy deserves her own room, maybe a backyard to run around in, and Rory deserves a door she can close while her baby is napping. 

Most exciting of all, Rory finishes her book in early February. At least, in the moment, it feels most exciting of all - it’s been months of blood, sweat and tears, but it’s done . There’s a feeling of relief as the last period hits the page, even if she consciously knows there’s still so much editing to do. Writing the book, about her and her mom and the way they’ve lived, had been emotionally draining and emotionally freeing all at once, and calling it finished feels like an accomplishment like she hasn’t found professionally in so long. 

The next time Jess drives up to town, Rory practically dances around the kitchen in anticipation, waiting for him to knock on the door. There had been so many people who supported her during this weird time in her life, and then when she decided to write this book, but Jess sits high on that list. The idea had originated with him, and he’s prodded and encouraged her the whole way; it feels right that he see it first, even if he’s made her promise this whole time to shop it around to bigger publishing houses instead of just asking him and Truncheon to publish it. 

“Someone’s happy,” he comments when she opens the door with a huge grin. “Do I even want to know, or did your mom share another convoluted sex joke?”

“You’re going to want to hear this,” Rory promises. “And no, it’s not a joke. Sexual or otherwise. Close your eyes.”

Jess rolls his eyes first, but he complies and even smiles a bit. For full dramatic effect, Rory had printed the book onto real paper - dozens and hundreds of pages, all off the Gazette office’s ancient printer over the course of a day that she’ll probably wind up paying for in some way later. It’s worth it , to stand here with all those pages in a binder clip with a red pen. With a final flutter of nerves, she shoves it all into his chest.

Jess’ arms close around her offering on instinct; his eyes open to actually see what’s going on a second later. Looking at the pages in his arms, comprehension dawns slowly, and his own rare grin spreads. “You finished your book?”

“I finished the book!” Rory squeals, not caring nearly as much as she should about disturbing her currently quiet daughter.

Uncharacteristically, Jess sweeps her into a hug - a big, swooping thing where her feet leave the floor and he spins her about a bit. Those arm muscles, you know. “I’m so proud of you,” he says. “This is amazing . You’re a genius, Rory.”

“You haven’t read it yet,” she laughs as he sets her back down. “It could be absolute trash. I could have slandered your good name. I could have —”

“Yeah, but I know you didn’t. You’re Rory Gilmore. Obviously it’s going to be great.”

There’s a moment there, where he looks at her with pride and awe and so much shared joy that Rory thinks it would be so easy to lean up and kiss him. And maybe it’s the moment, the adrenaline, but she wants that. Not letting herself think too much, she starts inching upwards, as he starts inching down —

And then Ivy shrieks from her playpen - a happy sound, likely picking up on the joy bouncing around the room, but enough to shatter the moment.

“I’d better check on her,” Rory says weakly. “But go nuts. Tear it apart, tell me what I need to fix. I want to hear what you think.”

“Included the pen and all,” he tosses back. If Rory’s not mistaken, his voice is a little uneven. Did she do that? God, she did that. She can’t do that.

So, like so many times before - Rory bolts to avoid talking about what just almost happened. 

(Even if it’s just to the other side of the room.) 

———

“What should I do?” Rory begs her mom in the aftermath, pacing back and forth in the living room while Lorelai scrolls through online sewing patterns. She’s never been entirely confident in affairs of the heart anyways, having maneuvered herself into a mess a few too many times - with everyone but Jess, that is. Maybe that’s why she needs advice so badly; not only is there Ivy to consider, but her and Jess’ relationship is the last one she hasn’t outright screwed up yet. 

“Well, what do you want to do?” Lorelai asks. Like a normal, reasonable person, who also maybe hasn’t had to think about this for the past ten years since she figured out her soulmate was right in front of her face. Rory’s never been so frustrated with Luke than in this moment, knowing he made the kind of commiseration she’s looking for impossible. 

“I wanted to kiss him!”

“Then you should! Next time you see him and the moment is right!”

“But I can’t!”

Lorelai dramatically closes the laptop. “Are we circling? I feel like we’re circling. Why are you asking for advice if you know what you supposedly can or can’t do?” When that produces no useful response, she plows forward. “Okay, new tactic. Why can’t you?”

Rory sighs. “I just feel like… I’ve barely got things figured out, you know? And he does. I don’t want to fuck things up for him. My life right now is a mess .”

“Ok, I’m going to stop you right there. If he thinks you and Ivy being in his life is anything less than a damn miracle, then there’s your answer, that’s my opinion, do not pass go, do not move forward with this.”

“But it’s Jess.”

“Right, it’s Jess. And as much as it might pain for me to admit, I have gotten to know Jess a lot more in the past few years since he got his act together, and I have trouble believing he’s that particular brand of asshole. That guy’s been around, and happy to be here, since the moment you moved back home. Job or no job, kid or no kid.”

“But what do I do with that?” Rory whines. 

Her mom sighs. “With full awareness of me, queen of avoidance, telling you this - you talk to him, Ror. I know you’ve got plenty of words, my darling daughter, my mini me, my legacy. Use them, for the love of all things holy. Comprende?” Rory nods, not capable of much else. Especially when the solution is supposedly so simple. “Cool. Now sit down and convince me that I have enough on my plate and don’t need to try making baby clothes even if they really are stinking cute and the whole matched ruffle trend in the kids stores drives me nuts.”

———

When Lorelai suggested that Rory and Jess talk, she probably imagined a calm, planned, adult conversation. For better or worse, though, this is Rory - that was never going to happen. So instead of easing into the topic carefully, she blurts out it out in the diner, the last night before Jess drives back to Philadelphia in the morning. 

“I want to talk about what happened the other day,” she all but demands when Jess gets up to make more coffee. 

His steps falter with the carafe in hand, before moving again to get fresh water. “What do you want to talk about?”

“Well, I mean… we almost kissed.”

“I know. I was there.”

“So what does that mean? ”

That finally gets him to set the container down, bracing both hands on the counter. “I don’t know Rory. I don’t know. I’m not going to stand here and pretend I don’t feel something, because I do, but you are… You’ve been through a lot this year, and I don’t know that I want to be the guy that you latch onto because you’re lonely and I’m here. I don’t think I can do that.”

Rory is struck speechless for a moment at the very idea. She’d never even thought of that; these feelings have been percolating in her for so long, but she’s never given him any indication of that. Of course he thinks this is coming out of nowhere. “Jess…”

“If you want to be something, give this a second shot, yeah, of course. I’m there, I’m all in. I’m your guy. But I want you to be sure about that, Rory. I… I haven’t been yearning or pining or carrying a torch or any other bullshit you’d find in a romance novel, but I figured out a long time ago that I like my life with you in it. I like that I get you and you get me. I love your kid and I mostly like your mom. So I’m sure. But if this is just because I’m available and here —”

“But don’t you see? That’s part of the point!” Rory interrupts. “I mean, you’re making it sound like such a bad thing, but that fact that yeah, you’re here - that’s huge . And it’s not the whole reason I want to get into this, but - I mean, you’ve been supporting me through this book. You are entirely unphased by the fact that I have a kid with someone else who isn’t here. You’ve got this faith me I still don’t fully understand, and… Yeah, I want this. I want this because you’re a more mature version of that brilliant, sarcastic bastard I fell in love with as a teenager, but I want it too because you want to be here.” She finally pauses for breath. “Does that make sense?”

Jess nods silently. Nothing more.

Time to babble - by far the worst trait she inherited from her mom. “So… is any of that a deal breaker? Because honestly, I wouldn’t blame you, that was definitely a lot to dump all at once. But also, you should know what you’re getting into, you have almost fifteen years of experience listening to me word vomit, so if you didn’t think that’d continue —”

In the time that she runs her mouth, Jess crosses back to her side. “Would you just… shut up for two minutes?”

And he kisses her - takes her face between his hands and brings their mouths together, like she’s fantasized about more than she’d like to admit. It’s like falling back in time in the best way, relearning the shape of each other’s lips and the way they fit together. No chicken pecks here. Rory gladly twines her arms around his neck to pull him as close as possible as his hands readjust, one sliding back into her hair as the other drops to grasp at her hip. When he gently nips at her top lip, she can’t help but giggle - giggle, like a teenager again! - before diving back in to deepen the kiss. Like so many things with Jess, this feels right , like they’ve been leading back to it forever. 

They finally break apart only when Rory becomes aware of the fact that they’re still in the closed diner, perfectly in view of the darkened street.

“As good as you remember?” she asks cheekily.

Jess leans his head down to rest his forehead against hers. “Better.” They take a moment just to enjoy the shared space before he continues. “Any regrets?”

Rory smiles. “None. I’m sure. I think I’m exactly where I need to be.”

And for the first time in forever - she knows that’s true. 

[finleyfray]

Bittersweet Memories part 6

(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5)

Huge thanks to @captain-josslett for helping me.

Taglist: @ashadash0904

TW: mentioned drug abuse, language, think that’s all

Alex is sure by now she just hates the medical wing in the DEO. She sits in the hall with Maggie, waiting on more information regarding their girlfriend.

Their girlfriend who overdosed.

Alex wonders where it all went wrong. How did they not see that Finley was struggling? How did they miss that their girlfriend was suicidal? That she was depressed.

Alex sighs as she hugs Maggie closer. The raven-haired woman was silent the whole time and the redhead wishes she could read her thoughts.

“Mags?” She tries but her girlfriend only shakes her head, and goes back to staring at Finley’s door. “Come on, talk to me, I can’t read your mind.”

“I just want this to end.” Maggie whines. “Just go to bed and cuddle and when we wake up, everything will be as it was a few months ago. But again, Fin’s in that fucking room, and we’re here, waiting for anything, any info about her. And I’m just tired. I’m tired of her.”

“You don’t mean that” The redhead gasps.

“No, you’re right. I don’t. I’m just... I don’t know. I thought it was okay and I’m just wondering where it went wrong. Nothing makes sense anymore. There’s so many questions I have. She promised she will let us know when something will be wrong. Are we supposed to watch her like a baby now? How can we leave her on her own, when she just can’t take care of herself? How do you know the next time we leave her she won’t, I don’t know, throw herself out of the window? Because I don’t know, Alex, I just don’t.” Maggie takes a deep breath after her rant, her shoulder slumping as she exhales.

“We don’t know what happened yet Maggie.” Alex sighs too, looking at her. ‘What does she mean? Did she not want Finley anymore?’ Alex thinks worriedly.

“Yeah, she sure thought the pills were some kind of candy.” Her girlfriend huffs.

“You say that like you’re mad at her.”

“I am. I am mad at her because she attempted to take her life away.”

“We weren’t exactly there for her over the last few weeks.”

“So you’re saying it’s our fault?” Maggie frowns, turning to look at Alex.

“No.” Alex huffs slightly, trying to keep her emotions in check. “All I’m saying is, I want to help her. And I’m scared, because I don’t know what’s happening behind that door. I’m scared because my, our girlfriend overdosed on God knows what. And we don’t know where she got it.”

“Ohhhh.” Maggie gasps. “I, well, uhh, when I came home... there was this woman leaving... well I assumed she slept with her... but, umm, maybe she’s her drug dealer...? The other day I saw a text on her phone from an unknown number saying something like ‘I see you tomorrow - V’.”

“And you didn’t think of telling me earlier? You went through her phone.” Alex narrows her eyes slightly while looking at her girlfriend, trying not to get angry.

“I don’t want to assume the worst! How was I supposed to know what that was, the message just pinged, her phone was password protected.”

“She didn’t have a password on her phone the two years we’re dating.” Alex frowns.

The door to Fin’s room opens and her Doctor comes out.

“We did a gastric lavage and washed away all the drugs she had in her system. Looks like she has been taking a lot of them over the past few weeks, her liver is damaged. She woke up for a while and we ran tests. It looks like she has had an infection for some time now. Her temperature is high and she told me that everything hurts. She’s attached to a IV and heart monitor. But for now agent Fray is stable. She fell asleep after we checked her. You can go there if you want.”

“She was sick. And we didn’t even noticed.” Maggie gasps.

“Thank you doctor Hamilton.” Alex nods and looks at her girlfriend.

“You come in?”

“Of course I want to, the fact that I’m mad at her doesn’t mean I don’t care about her anymore.” Maggie looks at her angry.

“Hey, I’m only asking.” Alex shrugs. “We are all tired. And I get it, you’re mad. But she could have died. So I’m going there and I’m going to thank whatever God there is that she made it through. And when she’s out of here, I’m going to stay with her and look after her. Because I don’t want to lose her. I don’t know what I would do if I lose any of you.”

“I don’t want to lose her either.” Maggie sighs. “I love you both, I promise, I just, I’m lost.” Her girlfriend lowers her head and sniffs. “I don’t know what to do anymore.” The redhead embraces the smaller woman in a hug.

“That’s okay if you don’t. We can take it slow day by day. You don’t have to know everything now.” She gently strokes Maggie’s back. “When I went through my alcohol problems, you were there for me. And we did it. So now we just have to do the same with Fin.”

“I totally improvised. I didn’t know what to do, I just did. When I saw that you had the urge to drink, I just occupied you with anything I could think of.”

“And that helped.” The redhead smiles, kissing her girlfriend's forehead. “So we’ll improvise too. It’s not a bad situation. J’onn will give us days off when we want. Or we can switch. We’ll figure it out, okay?” Alex quietly opens the door and enters the room.

She looks at their sleeping girlfriend. This view brought her too many bad memories. Maggie grabs her hand and gives her a reassuring smile.

“Right.” Alex breathes out and they walk to the bed their girlfriend is lying on.

“Hi.” Fin rasps out, looking at them. Her eyes were tired and it was clearly visible that she was in pain.

“Hey, baby. You’re awake!” The raven-haired woman reaches to cup Fin’s cheek, but Alex saw Finley panicking.

Her heart was suddenly beating super-fast and she was breathing hard. Maggie drops her hand as if she was burnt and the redhead cringes. This is not good. She looks at her shorter girlfriend who has a shocked expression on her face, which soon morphs into pain. Maggie blinks fast trying to get rid of her tears and turns away.

“I’m sorry.” Fin chokes out. “I...I didn’t mean to...”

“That’s alright baby.” Alex sighs as she grabs Fins hand and runs her finger over her girlfriend's knuckles. “It’ll be okay. Just breathe.”

***

Finley tried to focus hard on calming her breath. She didn’t want to upset Maggie. She did not want to react that way.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I didn’t want this to happen. I swear I’m not cheating on you, please don’t leave.” She cries out lowering her head and looking at her hands. “I swear, please don’t leave me. I promise I’ll do better.”

“It’s okay Fin, it’s okay, breathe with me.” Fin looks at Alex trying to match her breathing. “In and out. There you go.” Alex smiles reassuringly. “We are not gonna leave you, I promise.” She hugs her girlfriend into her chest running her hand along her back. “It’s going to be okay, we’ll help you.” The redhead motions for Maggie to come closer and the raven-haired woman hesitantly does. She looks at them.

“Come here. It’ll be alright, I promise.” So the shorter woman sits on the bed and let’s Alex hug them both. “We’ll be fine.”

**

Maggie is sitting on a chair watching her sleeping girlfriends. J’onn had ordered the medical team to bring Alex and Maggie beds but Alex had crawled onto Fin’s bed in the middle of night as she saw her tossing around, clearly having a nightmare. The sun was starting to rise and the shorter woman stood up to close the curtains. She needed to talk with her girlfriend, but now wasn’t a good time considering Fin was on strong medications for her infection. The Doctors had to put morphine in her IV to avoid having her take the meds to not annoy her liver more than it is. Maggie just hopes it will be over soon and Fin will be finally healthy. They know she will also need to learn how to walk again as they’ll take her brace off, but that is a problem for the future.

“You’re staring.” Alex says before opening her eyes and looking at Maggie. She yawns and stretches, careful not to disturb Fin.

“Yeah, I totally am. Hi. You slept well?”

“Hey, yea, I think so. Bit sore actually, that’s a tiny space. But warm and cosy.” Maggie watches Alex gently kissing Fin’s forehead and standing up. She goes to sit on Maggie and hugs her.

“You want to go home and maybe take a shower?” Maggie asks.

“No, I’m good. Kara will drop by later and get us some clothes. Or do you want to go?”

“I just want this to be over, you know? We can go home and rest.” Maggie leans her head on Alex’s chest and sighed.

“Me too.”

“Hey...” They turn as they hear Finley speaking quietly.

“Hi.” They both stand up and go to her bed. “How are you feeling?” Alex asks. “I think I’m better. At least nothing hurts yet.” Fin smiles sleepily.

“That’s good, amazing actually.” Alex smiles too and Fin tries to sit up. “Woo, Easy there.” Alex rushed to help their girlfriend.

“It’s alright. We should probably talk.”

“Yes, I want to apologise.” Maggie begins dropping her head in shame. “I really should not have lashed out like that. I know that it’s a lame excuse, but I had a really bad day and I think I just snapped seeing that woman leaving our apartment. I know you wouldn’t cheat on us, I just don’t know what happened.” She feels Fin grabbing her hand and squeezing it.

“It’s okay, I’m not mad.”

“But you should be! You tried to kill yourself because of me!” The raven-haired woman breaks down and begins to sob.

“I did not! Hey, look at me. Both of you. I’m sorry. I didn’t actually tried to kill myself, it was stupid of me. I’ve just been in much pain lately. It began 2 weeks ago, everything was hurting and I couldn’t think straight, so I took more medicine that was prescribed. I know I should've told you, but I didn’t want to bother you. But the meds wore off too fast by the time, so I took more, and then I just was sleeping the whole time and woke up to only take more medicine. But it wasn’t actually helping me. And well, that woman was an old friend, she fixed some pills for me, but she said these one I took were double dosage. I didn’t actually believe her, so I took too much and... I didn’t really want this to end like that. I’m sorry.” Alex sighs and hugs them both.

“We need to work on your communication Fin. You have to tell us about these things. But also we should’ve noticed it. And you...” She looked at Maggie. “Need to blow off your steam before going home. We need therapy after all of this. All of us.

***

Finley sighs as she is sitting on her bed in the DEO. Across her sat a woman, her name was Kelly and she was their new therapist.

As Alex said a few days ago, they needed therapy. But Fin had zero desire to talk to that woman, in fact, she already hated her for the way she kept looking at Alex. Like she wanted to steal her. And Fin will be damned if she ever let’s that happen.

“So, Finley. We can sit here in silence or we can talk about what’s going on your head.” Kelly tries to start a conversation but Fin frowns.

“How do you know MY girlfriend?” The black-haired woman almost growled seeing the smirk that displays on Kelly’s face. ‘Keep it cool. The key is to gather info.’

“So you might not know it yet, but James Olsen is my brother. I met Alex a few years ago and helped her with her drinking problem. Unfortunately I had to move away for a while as I’m also an army therapist. But now I’m back and Alex asked me if I could help you three figure things out.”

“When was that? When did you meet her?”

“It was four years ago. I met her when she started to date Maggie.”

‘So she never got the chance. But with everything that happened she can try and steal Alex from me. From us. Or maybe she’ll steal both of them. Yea, as soon as she realises how fucked up I am, she’s going to tell them and she’s going to steal them. I can’t talk to her. Under any circumstances. Play it cool Fin.’

“That’s nice.” Finley nods as she stares at the woman.

“So how are you feeling today?” Fin wants to laugh at how Kelly was still trying to start a conversation with her.

“Good.” Fin says tensely.

“Good?”

“Yes. I’m perfectly fine. I don’t need therapy when I don’t have any problems. You should totally focus on Maggie and Alex.”

“I can’t help you if you won’t share what’s bothering you. And I have to speak individually with all of you before we can have a conversation altogether. So if you want to help them, you have to let me in.” Finley huffs, growing frustrated. She was fine, she didn’t need help from some therapist wanna be that wanted to destroy her relationship.

“I don’t need help from you! You just want to steal them from me! They’ll realise they can have better than me and they're gonna leave me! You just need to know how fucked I am to go and tell them... and tell them to leave me! You’re not trying to help me, you’re trying to destroy me!” She sobs as she hugs her pillow. “I can’t do this without them. Don’t steal them away... Please...”

“Finley, I’m not trying to steal them away from you-”

“Bullshit! I saw how you were looking at Alex!” She yells interrupting Kelly.

“Alex is my best friend. And I’m married.” Kelly says calmly.

“O...oh...” Finley frowns and looks at her.

“M...married...?” “Yes, I have a wife, Finley, a beautiful wife that I love very much and she’s carrying my baby.”

“Ohhh...” Fin looks at the woman trying to wipe her tears away. “Congratulations...”

“So believe me when I’m saying I don’t want to steal your girlfriends from you. And even if I wanted, that would be impossible, because these two are just so in love with you.” Fin fidgets uncomfortable.

“I’m sorry... for yelling at you. I’m just so scared they’ll leave me someday.” “Why do you think that?” Kelly asks while grabbing her notepad and her pen.

“Well, I’m useless. I can’t do things myself with the brace on. I can’t work. I don’t even cook well. I can’t help them at work, I’m just forced to stay at home. What if something happens and I’m not even there to protect them!?” Fin cries out.

“You’re scared that something will happen to them?” “Of course I am scared. I’ve never had anyone so close to me in my life. Maggie and Alex, but also all of their friends, Kara, and Eliza, who treats me like her own child. If I ever lose them, any of them...” Fin falters.

“Do they know your fears?” Kelly looks at her.

“No, why would they. I will look desperate. They’ll just be with me out of pity.”

“You need to communicate more. I know they told you that too. Because communication is the key. They are not able to always see what’s wrong and this can cause situations where you are bottling everything inside and they think you’re fine. They won’t be able to help you when you don’t let them in. We can work on that more in our group session. You’re not alone in this and they’re there to help you to reassure you that they are not going anywhere.”

“You think they won’t leave me?” Finley looks at her therapist with hope.

“I know for a fact that they won’t leave you. But that I’ll leave for them to tell you.” Kelly nods and looks out of the window. “You feel insecure now. You feel left out cause you have to stay home. But at the end of the day, they come home to you. Not anyone else. They come home to your arms. You need to look at it from their perspective. Your girlfriends are working and no matter how much they love their job, they miss you there too. So after their shift the first thing they want is to see you. Relax together and cuddle. I know that from what they told me but also it’s what I am doing. After my shift I go home and cuddle my wife. I lay my head and listen to the heartbeat of my child.”

“You’re really excited to be a mother?”

“I am.” Kelly smiles brightly. “We tried for a long time and we had to do a lot of treatments. I came home from work one day and she gave me a onesie with ‘I love my moms' written on it. I cried.”

“How far is she?” Finley was genuinely curious about it. While she didn’t think of having kids herself yet, she could wait for a chance to be an aunt.

“Five months.” The woman beams.

“Boy or a girl?” “We didn’t want to know. We’re making everything gender neutral. We only care and pray that this little person will be healthy. I secretly pray that they will have their mothers green eyes.”

“We’ll I’m crossing my fingers for you.” Finley smiles and wipes away her tears. Talking about Kelly’s kid calmed her down.

“Do you want children?” Kelly looks at her. “I don’t know yet. I really haven’t thought about it. I’ve never actually seen a baby up close. I’ll just settle for a chance I will be an aunt. Maybe someday Kara and Lena will have kids. Or maybe James and Lucy. I would love to have a dog though.”

“What kind?”

“A Husky. No, a Labrador. Or maybe a Golden Retriever? German Shepherd. Chow-chows are very fluffy! Border Collie? I don’t know, I want all of them!” Both women laugh. “I just love dogs so much. I’ve never had one, but they are the best!”

“Well did you talk about it with your girlfriends?”

“No... I don’t want to bother them. What if they don’t want a dog? Or what if they want a cat? This would be the worst.” She frowns.

“See, that’s exactly what I’m talking about. You wouldn’t know if you don’t ask. So we can make that your assignment. You talk to your girlfriends about getting a dog. Do we have a deal?”

“But...”

“Do we?” Kelly held out her hand.

“Yeah.” Finley gently shakes it. “I’ll try to talk to them. Thank you.”

“It’s getting late. I’ll come tomorrow and you’ll tell me if your girlfriends want a dog or not, okay?”

“Wait, I have to talk to them today!?” Finley gasps. This woman tricked her.

“You can do it. See you tomorrow.” Kelly stands up from chair and leaves her room.

“Bye...” The black-haired woman whines. ‘This is going to be fun…’.

***

Finley opens her eyes and yawns. She must’ve fallen asleep after Kelly left.

“Hey sleepyhead.” She looked at Alex and smiled. “Was that a good nap?”

“Hi. It was. Kelly exhausted me.” Fin reaches for the redhead’s hand and squeezes. Her girlfriend stands up from the chair and sits on Finley’s bed instead.

“How did it go?” Her girlfriend kisses her forehead and embraces her in a hug.

“Good.”

“Good? Why do you look like you cried the whole session?” Alex raises her brow and Fin scolds herself. Communication.

“Uhh... Where’s Maggie?” She looks around the room, but her other girlfriend was nowhere to be found.

“She’s picking up some food. She’ll be here any minute. You will tell us what’s going on?” “No, cause that’s embarrassing.”

“What’s embarrassing?” Maggie asks, entering the room with a bag of take out.

“I’m embarrassed. Hi Mags.” Fin smiles as her girlfriend comes closer, putting the food on the table near her bed and reaching to kiss her cheek. “What do you have there?”

“Well for a difference I have ordered some Italian food.” The raven-haired woman reaches in the bag and gives them a container with food.

They eat in silence and Finley thinks of the best way to talk to them. When they were finished, they all lay on the bed. There wasn't much space so Fin lay on Alex and Maggie lay beside them with her hand over both of them.

“I want a dog.” Finley finally mumbles into Alex’s chest.

“What? We can’t hear you when you’re talking to my boobs.” The redhead laughs and Fin lifts her face from Alex’s chest. “Tell us again.” The black-haired woman sighs and she closes her eyes.

“I want a dog.” Her voice trembles.

“Oh, what kind of dog?” Maggie asks.

“What?” Finley looked at her shocked.

“Like a small dog, a big dog, buying a puppy or adopting from a shelter?”

“I know what you asked, I just... I expected you to say no.” She frowns.

“Why? We want you to be happy. Plus you barely want anything, ever, so I think it’s an amazing plan.” The redhead kisses her forehead.

“I just... didn’t want to be a bother.”

“You are not a bother. It’s okay to want something.” Maggie reaches to cup her cheek and the younger woman flinches.

“Sorry.” The black-haired woman takes Maggie’s hand. “I’m sorry. Didn’t mean to.” Finley sighs and lifts her girlfriend's hand onto her cheek. “And I don’t know what kind of dog yet. There are so many amazing dogs I just can’t choose. But would you want a dog?”

“Yes, I wanted a dog for some time now.” Alex smiles.

“We are not naming our dog Gertrude.” Maggie laughs.

“You wanted to name your dog Gertrude!?” The black-haired woman laughs looking at the frowning redhead.

“It’s a very nice name for a dog!”

“Yeah, I bet it is. Gertrude I hereby command you to come here.” Finley says in her best serious tone.

“Hey, stop being an ass.” Alex starts tickling her and Fin laughs loudly.

“Okay, okay, stop! Maggie help!” But instead of helping, her raven-haired girlfriend teams up with the redhead. Tickling Finley till she cries from laughing. Only then did they stop.

“I love you.” Fin says as she lays her head on Alex’s chest.

“I love you two too.” The redhead kisses her head. “Sleep well baby.”

“And I love you both.” Maggie whispers and hugs them tight.

Finley focused on their breathing as she falls asleep.

[witchygagirlwrites]

Confessions

A friends with benefits arrangement with Kelly ends up being so much more. @gottaboopthesnoot fluff?

The first time you'd ended up in bed with Kelly both of you were coming off of being dumped. You walked into Molly's with the intention to just have a few drinks then head home alone. April and Ethan were headed out as you were headed in so you thanked Ethan for holding the door open for you then headed to the bar.

"Herrman my good man can I please get a whiskey on the rocks and make it a double" he let out a low whistle and started making your drink "Rough day sweetheart?" You wanted to laugh but simply shook your head "I lost two patients that came into med today then my dumbass now former boyfriend decided it was in fact too stressful to be dating a doctor who refused to transfer from emergency medicine" "Yikes. Here this will make you feel a little better" you took the glass from him with a smile and slid the money across the bar plus some for the tip jar "Thanks Herrman"

He walked away so you glanced around the room. Jay was sitting in the corner with Will, Adam and Kevin. They waved when they spotted you so headed over "Hey fellas how's it going?" Will cut his eyes at your glass "Bout as good as yours" you laughed then looked from Adam to Kevin "Bad day?" Kevin letting out a breath told you all you needed to know so you turned back towards the bar "Herrman I got the next round for this table!" He nodded "You got it sweetheart" 

You patted Jay's shoulder before you walked off and said "see you boys later"

--------------------

You headed for a corner booth and spotted Kelly sitting alone. You sat next to him on a stool and bumped his hand "Well hello Severide" he smiled up at you "Hey Y/N" you noticed he was lacking a certain blonde appendage he'd acquired "Where's shit what's her name..Kristy? Brittany?" "Jessica and she dumped me by text around eleven this morning" you did laugh then and held up your phone "I got dumped at two in between losing a seventy year old to hypothermia and a sixteen year old to a ruptured appendix of all things" he tilted his head with a laugh "Ok you win"

--------------------

The two of you ended up talking for the better part of an hour. "Well I guess I'm gonna head home" you said pushing your glass away. "Want a ride?" He asked so you shrugged. He'd only had one beer and it was long gone "Sure"

You slipped your jacket back on then followed him outside and to where he'd parked his mustang. You smiled when he held the passenger door open "What a gentleman" he walked around then slid into the driver's seat. You watched him as you buckled up then he pulled out onto the road. 

Kelly had always been a good looking guy. He was a little cocky at times but damn you'd bet two months salary he could back it up. You shook your head to clear the sudden rush of hormones then turned to look out the window until Kelly pulled up behind your car and parked. "Want to come in for some coffee?" You asked without even thinking and were rewarded with that gorgeous smile of his "Sure"

--------------------

One thing led to another and the morning light found the two of you tangled up in your sheets and each other. You woke up and felt his warmth at your back as memories from the previous night flooded your mind. When he woke up he let his lips trail lazily over your bare shoulder "Morning" hearing his voice so thick with sleep while feeling him pressed hard against you made you squirm slightly "Morning" you said with a smile that turned into a gasp when he bit down gently on your shoulder. "Are you wanting to continue last night?" You asked reaching back to pull him forward for a kiss "If you do" was his response.

--------------------

That had been over four months ago. The two of you weren't dating per say as much as blowing off steam or well you were pretty sure that's how it was for Kelly. You had started falling for him somewhere along the month and a half mark. How could you not? He was gorgeous, amazing in bed, one of the sweetest men you'd ever known and genuinely seemed to care about you. 

You were scared that if you told him how you felt you'd more than likely not only lose him out your bed but as a friend also and you weren't really to risk it so you buried it.

--------------------

You were at work grabbing test results from Maggie when a bad wave of nausea washed over you. "You ok Y/N? You look a little green?" She asked so you forced a smile "I haven't eaten. After I sign off on Mrs. Rodriguez I'll come raid your snack drawer"

"You know where it is" she replied with a smile even if she still seemed apprehensive. You told Mrs. Rodriguez her aftercare instructions and was walking out her room when another wave of nausea hit and the next thing you knew the world went black.

---------------------

You woke up in an exam room with an iv of fluid going into your arm. Will was shining a light in your eyes "Jesus Y/N you scared all of us. I'm gonna run some bloodwork. It appears like you're just dehydrated but I want to make sure""Thanks Will" you said right before he walked out. Some doctor you were, couldn't even keep yourself healthy.

 You heard a knock on the door before Maggie popped her head in with a bottle of juice in her hand "No solids until your blood work is back but this should help" you sat up a little and took the juice "Thanks Maggie. I don't know what happened. I mean I've been feeling a little off but I thought it was just all the hours I've been working"  she patted your hand reassuringly then said "Just rest. We'll figure it out"

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"Run that by me one more time Halstead" you repeated despite reading the results yourself "You're about eight weeks. That's what caused the fainting. We can make you an appointment with the OB of your choice to discuss options but for today Goodwin wants you to head home and rest. Natalie is going to cover your shift for the next couple days"

"Thanks Will" you were in a bit of a fog as you walked out and to your car. How the hell were you supposed to tell Kelly? 

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You made it a few blocks before you had to pull over. You were crying hard enough your shoulders were shaking what the hell were you going to do?

A baby. You were in love with Kelly and pregnant and he was clueless to both of those things. You wanted to keep the baby but you also knew you had to tell him.

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Once you managed to get home you grabbed a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt. You needed a hot shower to clear your mind. You'd texted Kelly that Goodwin had sent you home so he'd in return texted back saying he'd be over the next morning when he got off shift. 

At least you had twelve or so hours before you had to face him. You could eat and sleep. 

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No matter how you laid all you could think about was the fact that you had a baby inside of you. Yours and Kelly's baby. You finally managed to fall asleep curled up on your side. 

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You were woke up around seven to a pounding at your door and your phone ringing. You picked it up to see you had seven missed calls and the person currently calling was Kelly. 

You answered it but instead of saying hello you asked "Is that you at my door?" "Been here for ten minutes sweetheart. Started to kick it in. I was getting worried" you smiled despite yourself "I'll come let you in" then hung up.

Your nerves started fluttering and you cursed when a wave of nausea hit you again. The moment you unlocked the door you barely saw Kelly's face before you had to hold up one finger and rush to the bathroom.

Kelly kicked the door shut and quickly followed you. When he saw the position you were in he crouched behind you pulling your hair out the way and started rubbing small circles into your back.

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Once your stomach was emptied either nerves or hormones or both hit you and you started to cry. Kelly pulled you into his arms and sat leaned against the wall gently rocking you for god knows how long before you managed to calm down "Baby what's wrong?" He asked and you almost started crying again.

"Kelly I'm sorry" he pulled back far enough to look in your face "about what?" You could tell he was so confused about everything so you took a deep breath then just decided to rip the bandaid off "I'm in love with you and I'm eight weeks pregnant"

A thousand emotions flashed across his face. Shock was the most prominent. You started to try to stand up but he pulled you back down in his lap "Hold on Y/N just let me catch up. You said you love me?" You nodded "It's ok if you don't feel the same way" he cut you off by his lips crashing into yours.

When he pulled away he smiled "I love you too. I have for a while. Now about that second thing you said?" You swallowed hard and looked into those bright blue eyes that you loved so much "Remember that close call you had? And we spent the entire night in bed?" He nodded slowly "Well I apparently got pregnant that night" you nearly whispered glancing down at your hands.

Several long silent seconds flicked by before he said "So you love me and I'm gonna be a dad. Not how I figured this would go" you looked up to meet his eyes right as he added "but I'm happy and I will be here for you and our baby every step of the way"

You started crying again but this time it was tears of relief "I love you Kelly" "I love you too Y/N" he said with a smile then ran his hand across your stomach and leaned down before saying "and we both love you"