#buuuut it looks like I have a four day weekend booked off for the start of june??

[masked-disciple]

I have so many fun and weird stickers in my sticker box. I have fish, I have decals, I have limited edition, I have much Ace Attorney, I have Hermitcraft, I have AO3 (cheers to the 'we built this city on porn and law' sticker), I have a nuclear bomb, I have DGS, I have Professor Layton for some reason, I have Pokemon, I have much fancy food, I have D&D, I have more fish...

I never know what I'm going to pull out of my sticker box. It's great.

[nightmaretyrantvantas]

Ok so guys i finally got part of it done(like three or four days later buuuut

I drew two sets of the families for my anxceit au!

Please meet virgil's family the Ravenwoods!

And as curtesy some info about them

Daneil Ravenwood

Hes been raising Virgil and Andy on his own since virge was about 8 and a half and andy was 6 months old

Hes a english and literature professor at the local college(that logan's parents also work at)

Hes in his late 50s early 60s current time( where virgil is 21 and andy is 13)

Hes also a published and well established fiction writer, but he writes under an alias

Hes a super supportive dad and teacher, even if he doesnt understand it he'll 100% support the decisions his kids make (ex: "oh your wiccan now? Cool virgy! Im glad you found a religion that makes you happy, though...can you explain it to me again?" "Oh andy you want to be switched to the art program? No problem! I'll call your counsellors tomorrow ok?" "Oh boyfriend huh? Thats great buddy, when do i get to meet him??")

Hes got a deep hearty laugh that makes you smile

Dad jokes to virgils mortification

Hes a skeptic but loves listening to and talking to virgil about his beliefs

had the philosophy of "the punishment should fit the crime, but you should be allowed to stumble and learn with it" raising the boys and wasnt too strict with them. Also never threatened punishments, only threatened playful embarrassment

The boys got their sass from somewhere, but he does remind them to mind their manners and watch their timing

Gentle giant as he is 6'3

Black hair peppered with grey and white and usually forgets tonshave his stubble

Passionate about his jobs, can get lost in his work

Andy Ravenwood

Virgil's baby brother, and he fucking adores his brother( even sometimes babbles about him to his friends at school and proudly talks about his "youtuber big brother"

This does not stop him from poking fun at virgil of course

Art boi!! Hes the top of his art classes!!

He is the one art kid that always has like three sketchbooks on him at all times

Loves the color purple

Look ok he knows he KNOWS his hair looks like his brothers it wasnt supposed to ok the original plan baCKFIRED AND HE COULDNT TURN BACK

Unlike virgil he doesnt cover his freckles

He has the same color eyes as their dad(grey-blue)

Andy loves animals! Especially raccoons!! Those are his favorite.( he happily took on the responsiblility of taking care of virgils cat when he moved out)

Hes a pretty cheerful kid if hes comfortable around you, but shy if he doesnt know you

Hes got an anxiety disorder but hes still living his best life

Virgil Ravenwood

Our main Cryptid goth( he dialed it down for the family photo)

Hes twenty one and lives on his own in an apartment complex close to downtown, which is a good 15 to 20 minutes from his childhood home so he visits regularly( like three times every other week)

Boi loves his family to bits, and has so SOOOO many good stories he’ll happily talk about 

Has both his own paranormal youtube channel and a joint youtube channel with his boyfriend Ethen where they explore and investigate haunted places(both well known and stumbled across)

He has the same eye color as their mother, blue violet, which stands out a little more than his dad’s or brother’s

He covers his freckles with foundation because hes insecure about them

Did a year of junior college before deciding school wasnt exactly for him anymore, but still goes to events for his best friend Logan

Works at a cafe downtown that stays open pretty late( they do dinner its almost a diner but not) part time, and the other half does youtube for a living

Has a cat that had to stay in his childhood home named Sally that Andy takes care of for him

Has been considering getting another cat for his apartment

Big firm believer in the unknown and the paranormal/supernatural

Hes wiccan and has an alter in his bedroom thats apart of his facecam background

He has a tarot deck but doesnt really do readings other than little ones for himself, as divination isnt his strong suit

Has a big crystal collection hes been adding to since high school

He can sing but doesnt have alot of confidence in his voice so he just doesnt

And also introducing~

The picani-sanders family! Aka ethen's big ol family

From left to right

Patton Picani

Ethen's older brother(by two years)

Him and ethen are emile's foster kids, but he adopted him when they were like nine and seven.

Patton is 23 and happily works at the library downtown as a librarian and a reader to the kids

He loves music and musicals and all things disney (partially thanks to his boyfriend roman)

He and Ethen come off as complete opposites and they have a very playful relationship, always teasing each other 

He loves his family alot and loves babysitting his little brother Thomas whenever his schedule allows it, especially during times of year Emile and Remy get swamped with work

He loves to knit and sew and make things!!! He makes sweaters and jackets and dresses and customizes clothes!! He could make a living on it if he really wanted!! (but he just does it for friends and loved ones instead- Andy has a hoodie that Patton sew wool on the inside to keep him warm and Andy adores it)

Hes really outgoing and friendly and seems to make friends wherever he goes! 

He’s known Roman since they were kids and was crushing on him all through school until they got together senior year 

He loves to bake and cook and help his dad make dinner whenever hes at home

Hes a sappy romantic and loves cliches

He has a huge collection of stuffed animals that hes been slowly transferring to his and roman’s apartment since he moved out(theres ALOT)

Emile Picani

The dad!! Hes in his mid 50s 

He works as a singular and couples therapist  and can have a bit of a wacky schedule

Hes been raising Patton and Ethen since they were little and loves his kids so damn much

So goddamn supportive of what they do, sometimes to the point its embarrassing(for Ethen)

Hes engaged to Remy Sanders and once their married their just going to combine their last names

He loves cartoons and gardening! And has his own collection of stuffed animals and toys(which hes been sharing with Thomas) 

He loves making dad jokes and him and Patton make them all the time at Ethen

Hes a damn great cook and has been teaching his boys to cook for years now, and loves making big meals 

Not really a strict parent, more of a sit down and talk it out kinda parent

Is part of the PTA of Thomas’s school

Actually used to be a punk in school

Thomas Sanders-Picani

The youngest! Hes 8 years old!

Our boy loves to read and write! He writes tons and tons of stories!

Hes got a huge imagination and likes to daydream

Hes bubbly even though he isnt the most social he still has a good group of friends!

Our lil boi is an actor of course! He loves getting parts in the school plays and in class assignments.

Hes in his schools choir  and gets vocal lessons from Roman’s mama

 His room is filled with toys and books and notebooks and pencils, and even though he tries his best to keep it clean it gets messy every week.(cleaning it is his weekly chore)

He has two best friends named Joan and Talyn that hes been friends with now since kindergarden and theyve been nearly inseperable ever since, its not uncommon for one of both of them to be at each others house on any given weekend

Hes Remy’s kid but has started calling himself by Emile’s last name too since they moved in with the Picani’s

Doesnt have too many memories of his mother but the ones he does have are all happy and pleasant(thankfully)

Calls Emile baba and Remy dada to distinguish them better

Loves his older brothers especially when they play with him, He also loves watching the old videos of Ethen’s theater performances and sometimes pesters him to reenact scenes from them( his favorite is the middle school production of ‘Alice in Wonderland’)

Ethen Picani

Our other main boy, hes also twenty one

He lives with his best and childhood friend Remus Prince in two bedroom apartment across town near the college

Does youtube full time for a living

the “black sheep” of the family as he and Remus call him 

He majored in theater in his two years of college

Loves reptiles but doesnt have any because their apartment complex doesnt allow pets and he doesnt want to get him and remus kicked out since their apartment is close to Remus’s work

Has a car he loving refers to as his “hand me down junk heap” Because he got Patton’s first car when patton got a new one

He loves the old thing though 

Has a good relationship with his parents. He loves his dad Emile and he likes Remy well enough

Him and remy have a very casual, relaxed relationship.( Ex: “ Dad you need to stop letting sleepless bums into the house” “ He’ll stop doing that when he stops letting punk wannabes into his kitchen, now get over here kid.” ) 

Loves his boyfriend Virgil to death and likes to spoil him when he can(even though virgil tells him to save his money for rent)

Hes more of a open skeptic but he’ll happily debate things with Virgil, and enjoys making videos for their joint youtube channel and being proven otherwise

He also has his own solo youtube channel where he does abandon urban exploration( sometimes with Remus tagging along for the thrill)

Remus has been calling him by the nickname “Dee” since middle school when they played Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum. Remus called him Dee so often he made it stick as a nickname years and years later. He refuses to let it die and Ethen has just accepted his fate

Remy Sanders

Hes around Emile’s age( mid 50′s) and looks the tallest in the family at 6′3

He came into the family later, when the boys were about 20 and 18( when thomas was about 5 or so)

Hes pretty laid back but surprising good at being strict, so he balances out Emile’s parenting style

Hes a divorcee and got guardianship of Thomas, though hes on a friendly and civil relationship with thomas’s mother and takes him to visit her three times a month( theyre currently working out more visitations and possibly thomas staying with his mother a couple weeks every months but thats still in the works)

Hes an insomiac and (usually) works night shifts as a security guard for a security renting business so his working hours can be a little unpredicitble, but he almost always works at least two night shifts and graveyard shifts a week. Hes paid both a salary plus an additional commissions by employers so its well worth it

He spends as much time with his kid and the boys as he can regardless of his wonky sleep schedule

Hes a bit of a tough love kinda person, and hes snarky and mouthy and doesnt hesitate to speak his mind

Loves Emile soooo goddamn much he talks about him alot at work to his fellow security guards. Theyre the ones who helped him pick a ring when he proposed actually

Oh yeah the two are engaged did I mention that?

He fuels Emile’s plushie collecting, even if he knows he probably shouldnt( But oh well, it makes him smile and thats all he wants to see)

Looks punk now but he was the biggest straight laced prep in highschool that comparing him now to him in highschool gives you whiplash

Would fucking die for his family. No one messes with his fiance or his kids, he doesnt care if two of them are fully capable adults 

And its done!! Two of the four main families is finished!

And watch out because im also coloring these digitally(its just taking awhile :/) but those will be getting posted soon...I hope...Im trying

But here you go Virgil’s and Ethen’s families in two cute family photos!

Let me just add im so fucking proud of The Picani-Sanders photo because it was a struggle to fit them all in the picture and get the heights right and the entire side of my arm was grey with pencil lead by the time I was done but it turned out great!

Up next is Roman and Remus’s family the Princes and Logan’s family the Daniels!! 

Art references are credited to @the-pastel-peach​ @aimasup​ and @underdog-arts​ , especially @aimasup​ and @underdog-arts​ for getting 8 year old thomas to look like a kid because im not normally good at drawing little kids but after practicing with some of their art as my reference and inspiration he turned out really well!! 

I hope you guys enjoy!!

Taglist

@phantommoonpeople

@sweetsweetemo

@leesacrakon

@amazable01

@starbucks-remy

@jemthebookworm

@max-is-tired

@seriously-a-dragon

@sar-kasstic

@soupspam

@aimasup

@sugarglider9603

@underdog-arts

@strawberryjellystuff

[milktea-kitkat]

The Way These Things Work

Summary: Aris was never good with words or people, no matter how she tried to approach it. Admitting you’re wrong can be hard, especially when you’ve never had to do it before. She’ll have to learn quick or fall back into her old ways without a second chance. Can she push through and bring herself to ask for help? Especially from him?

Chapter contains: hints of Takari, pisspoor parenting, more abuse hinting, poor writing (Sorry guys), lying, foreshadowing

Word Count: 1899 words

Howlmon

Aris learned her mother’s habits quickly in the month and a half she’d already been there, using it to her advantage. When her mother would take her sleeping pill, Aris would have a rough eight hours of security. When her mother was awake, or home, and Aris was home, it was hell. If she wasn’t studying, her mother gave her shit. If she was studying, her mother gave her shit for not cleaning around the house. Aris also now tended to hide her manga inside her textbooks to look as if she was studying so she didn’t have to hear about that too.

And when her mother didn’t take sleeping pills at night, she usually went out for a drink and didn’t return home until early morning. That also gave Aris an opportunity to talk to her friends. She refused to go back to her old ways, even if she only actually kept up with it once in a while. It was hard breaking her habits. And then there were the days her mother spent all day and evening laying on the couch, so Aris had only the option to say goodnight and hop out the window like she had been for the past two weeks.

Once Aris had learned her mother’s habits and felt confident enough with her limits, she had started to look for Howlmon, in the digital world. Part of her hoped Howlmon had found her way back here, it would be far easier to find her than in the human world. After all, it’s easier to ask other digimon if they’d seen her than humans. Aris could just picture how it would go.

“Have you seen my partner, Howlmon? She’s like… This little cat wolf with two sets of ears and she’s like a purple with a little bit of pink, oh and she has two tails too!”

The reactions would be priceless, at least.

“Aris Koshina!”

Aris dropped her pen when her mother shouted her name and quickly slid her book off her lap, onto the floor. She scrambled up from where she was sitting on the floor, her back against her bed. She bolted out of her room into the main room.

“Y-yes mother?”

Her mother gave her that look, the irritation evident in her hazel eyes. Aris was thankful she had her father’s green eyes. Then she noticed Takeru and Hikari both standing there, looking a little uncomfortable. She understood without her mother needing to say anything and gave the two a look that pleaded with them to go along with this.

“Aris, explain why these two children came looking for you.”

Aris cleared her throat. “I’m sorry, I must have completely forgotten! My teacher wants me to assist a couple of middle school students with some math, of course I had no way of saying no.”

Her mother clicked her tongue and Aris gulped, knowing that tone. However, her mother plopped back down on the couch without another glance.

“Just don’t do it here. It’d be too noisy with a couple of other middle school brats in the house. Your brother is bad enough.”

Aris wanted to hit her for talking badly about Klein, but she didn’t. She nodded, after letting out a slow, deep breath.

“Right, let me get changed and we can go somewhere like the library.”

They nodded and Takeru gestured to the door. “We’ll, uh, wait outside then.”

Aris changed quickly and grabbed her old backpack, stuffing a book and a notebook in it to make it convincing. She knew there would be no studying though. She raced for the entrance hall and sat down to put her sneakers on.

“Aris. I want to talk to you about Meiji when you get home, do you understand?”

The conversation Aris had continued dodging for a month and a half finally resurfaced. Aris nodded weakly. “Y-yes, of course, mother.” Before her mother could go on, Aris bolted out the door and shut it behind her, a little too roughly. She was gonna hear about that later too, probably. She crossed her arms and stood in front of Hikari and Takeru, who both looked a little sheepish.

“You two almost got me in so much trouble.”

“Sorry, Aris, it completely slipped my mind, we both were so excited that-”

Takeru cut Hikari off. “We found Howlmon and she came back with us to Kari’s place too!”

Aris stared at them.

“Really? Just like that?”

They both nodded, but Aris seemed a little surprised. It wasn’t like Howlmon to just go with them, even if she did know them for ages. They started walking as the two of them explained how they found her. She had shown up at their middle school, surprisingly looking for one of them. Was it possible that Howlmon just really needed an excuse to come check up on Aris? She was bad about that. It was possible, but there was no way of knowing without asking Howlmon herself.

“Aris!!”

She felt her shirt being tugged back and stumbled back, but kept on her feet. A skateboarder zipped by right in front of her a few seconds after. She glanced back to see both of them each had a hand on her shirt.

“Sorry guys, I guess I got lost in my thoughts and wasn’t paying attention.”

“You’re lucky we were, or that would have really hurt.”

“At least we would have come visit you in the hospital if we hadn’t stopped you!”

Aris snorted, “You’re sooo kind, Takeru. Thanks for that.”

The three of them continued on their way, most likely to the Yagami residence. She remembered back when she lived in the same building as them. It was before her father passed away. After that, she moved in with her aunt. She almost missed those days, minus the times Taichi thought it would be funny to bother her on weekends.

“Is Tai home?”

“Huh? No, I think he had soccer today.”

“Why, do you want to see him, Aris?”

She could feel the smirk dripping off Takeru’s words and pouted a little.

“As if! I was just wondering. I couldn’t help but remember all the times I was over. Hell, sometimes I wondered if your mother considered me her child too. But, dad was always working, so I didn’t like to bother him when he was tired. Plus, I definitely do not think of Tai in that way. He’s like… Nuisance brother to me.”

Hikari laughed, agreeing with Aris. “He is a nuisance, honestly.” Aris shook her head, laughing a little. It felt too easy, talking like this. It would only be a short time before something happened. She should really keep her mouth shut.

They entered the apartment not long after, it seemed that no one else was home at the time. Aris felt a little relieved, she didn’t have to dodge questions from Mrs. Yagami if she wasn’t here. Hikari must have noticed her relief and laughed.

“Come on, we left Howlmon in my room! She looked pretty beat up when we found her in the digital world…”

Aris’ heart dropped and she felt guilty, she should have never been so rude to her partner. Her lifelong friend. Aris followed the two of them, Takeru seemed very comfortable in their home, she noticed. She smiled a little, they’d always been pretty close but dang, she always thought they’d be cute together.

“Aris?”

She snapped out of her thoughts and grinned sheepishly, “Sorry, sorry.” She followed them into Hikari’s room and noticed a small purple lump in the middle of the bed.

Hikari practically dragged Takeru out of the room when he tried to enter too, “Let’s let the two of them talk alone for a bit.” He looked like he wanted to refuse, but accepted it anyways. Aris hesitated a bit before sitting on the floor next to the bed. She was quiet for a moment, trying to consider what she could possibly say. She wanted to say she was sorry, but her mouth wouldn’t form the words. She’d never genuinely apologised, only gave her half assed apologies to her mother. The ones she knew she didn’t mean.

“Howlmon, you alright..?”

Her voice shook a little, she was nervous. She heard the covers shift and she glanced over, seeing the face of her partner after so long. She smiled gently.

“Hey there, long time no see.”

Howlmon did look really beat, Aris felt immense guilt claw back into her heart. She moved to kneel and carefully picked the digimon up.

“You, you look like crap, Howlmon.”

Howlmon laughed a little and finally responded.

“I feel like crap, thanks, Aris..”

“Hey now, I meant well. I know it’s my fault…”

“Only partly, but yeah, your fault.”

Ouch, they were always so straightforward. Aris sat back, leaning against the bed and held them out to look at them carefully.

“Hey! You know I don’t like being handled like someone’s pet!”

Aris laughed and set her down on the floor.

“Oops, my bad.”

They sat quietly looking at each other for a while before Aris cleared her throat. “Look, I, uh.” She gulped and squeezed her eyes tight and then let out a long, deep breath.

“Howlmon I’m so sorry, I never should have been horrible to you, you’ve always been my best friend and I’m sorry!”

She spoke so quickly that all her words jumbled together and Howlmon just looked at her confused.

“Say again?” Aris sighed. “Howlmon, I’m so sorry. I never should have been horrible to you, I never meant it. You’ve always been my best, and sometimes my only, friend and I’m so sorry.”

She spoke slower this time, allowing a few minutes after for Howlmon to take it all in. Howlmon stood up on her four legs.

“What are we waiting for?”

“Huh?” Aris was genuinely confused, it was so sudden.

“What are we waiting for, Aris?! Let’s go home, I’m starving, will you cook tonight?”

“Wait, you… You forgive me, Howlmon?”

Howlmon jumped up onto her shoulders and stretched out to lay using both shoulders.

“Come on, you got so nervous saying sorry that you rushed it? How could I not forgive you, you’re my friend and partner after all!”

Aris’ heart swelled, she was forgiven. “Buuuut,” Howlmon went on and Aris became nervous. “You are definitely going to have to owe me quite a bit!”

She laughed, standing up as Hikari and Takeru peeked in. “Right, how about I buy the five of you guys and myself some lunch then? On me, of course.”

Hikari smiled, clasping her hands over her heart, Gatomon right behind her spoke up. “You two made up then?” Aris nodded and Takeru patted Hikari’s back. “I told you they would! Now, I would love lunch!” Patamon quickly agreed with Takeru’s input.

Aris nodded, “Right, what about you Kari?”

“Well, I can’t exactly refuse, can I?”

Both Aris and Takeru shook their heads and she sighed, but in a loving manner. “Fine, fine, me too.” She knew it wasn’t like Hikari hadn’t wanted to anyways.

“Alright! Lunch! Let’s go!” Howlmon took off, Patamon close behind her. Gatomon muttered something about impatience in younger digimon and followed with the other three. Aris couldn’t help but smile, it was all new and yet the same. For even just a moment, she forgot about her mother and Meiji.

[chelsorz07]

so i’m a grown-ass woman but

I’m still barely an adult. And I don’t have a job or a life so all I’ve been doing every day for the past couple weeks is personality quizzes. Then today this popped up on my facebook memories from 2010 and I decided I’m gonna do it again just to see how much I’ve changed in seven years. Original answers are in normal font and current are underneath in bold.

Are you ready for this? probably not but i'm a procrastinator. Obviously, since I took the time to copy and paste it and switch from facebook to tumblr.

What do you think about Love? it's hard. It’s a pain in the ass when you’re not happy but you know you wouldn’t be happy anywhere else either. Who has your heart? david.  Dave, kinda. My heart has pretty much given up at this point.

Are you wearing a necklace, who got it for you, wheres it from? i don't normally wear necklaces. I wear Dave’s wedding ring on a chain because he’s not allowed to wear it at work, and if I give it back to him when he gets home he’ll just lose it again. Are you tall for your age, or short? taller than average but not tall. That one’s the same. I didn’t exactly grow from age 20 to 27. Except the number on the scale. What are you about to do? bathe.  Continue watching Ridiculousness and wasting my life. Maybe read some spn finale codas to fix my soul after last night.

Tell me about the person you like? i wouldn't know where to begin. I’d rather not. Do you like the smell of coconuts? no. Yeah. See idk what happened there. Expecting something to change in the next month? stuff changes all the time. Hopefully I’ll find a new job, but I have to start looking first. Tell me the truth,ever kissed your boyfriends/girlfriends best friend? no, unlike all his other girlfriends. Same. What are you looking forward to? my birthday.  Um...the All Time Low concert the day before my birthday, which I’m more excited that my sister is coming with than the actual show, actually being back in PA for Old Home Days this year because it’s that same weekend, and hopefully moving home before the end of the year.

Did you get anything off your chest today? i did a few days ago. I haven’t talked to anyone today but this quiz is pretty cathartic. How many rings do you usually wear? none. Three. Engagement ring, wedding ring, and this really cool silver one with a green wooden inlay that I got at an antique store. Do you have a bestfriend of the opposite sex? a couple. Yessir. Shoutout @sloan28allday who still refuses to use tumblr even though he has one. Can you sleep without blankets covering you? no. Definitely not. It’s much less uncomfortable in the summer now that I have central air. What did you wear to bed last night? basketball shorts and a tshirt.  I didn’t go to bed last night, but for the sake of this quiz I was wearing the same thing I am now, green plaid pajama pants and my angel banishing sigil t-shirt.

What do you do in your spare time? pretty much this. Watch Shameless over and over again and cry about how much of an asshole Ian Gallagher is and how Mickey deserves better. What were you doing at 10:00 this morning? hanging with maranda. Watching the season 9 spn finale because it was on TNT. What time do you think you're going to bed tonight? like 8pm. i'm exhausted. and i'd go to bed now if i didn't have to bowl tonight. Well I just woke up from a nap at like 9 so probably not anytime soon. Late morning, I’d guess. How do you feel about the person who texted you last? i love him. I’m gonna kick him in the throat if he sends me a text out of the blue that just says “waffles” one more time. Anything irritating you right now? pretty much always. See the last question. Also the fact that I have two separate DVRs and it decided to record Seth Meyers on this one so it changed the channel while I was watching Ridiculousness. I hate Seth Meyers, the only thing I want to see is ATL’s performance. Did the person that hurt you most apologize? yeah actually. idk how sincere it was though. or if he's just really bad at communicating. My mother hasn’t apologized for my entire childhood yet but I’m not holding my breath. Do you want to get married? maybe someday. i don't want kids though. at least not my own. Have been for almost two years now. The kids answer has changed too. Every time I see a baby I cry because it isn’t mine.   Would you ever get your lip pierced? yeah. I kinda would like to have my nose pierced now, but I can’t decide which I want more. Where would you like to live in the future? nashville. anywhere down south works but that's my first choice. georgia's a close second. Having visited Nashville and Georgia semi-recently, I can say I’d still live there in a heartbeat if it wasn’t for the fact that I want to move home so badly. So my new answer is Bradford. Would you be able to date someone who doesn't make you laugh? no. HELL no. 

What college do you plan on going to? uh...none. i want to get my cosmetology license buuuut i don't have the money for school. Wooow why did I ever even consider cosmetology? Lol...I’m probably never going to go but I want to be a contractor so I’d go to Penn Tech in Williamsport. Do you have good vision? it's not terrible. It’s getting progressively worse. I can barely drive at night now. Everything is too bright. Did you speak to your father today? yep. No but he’s a night owl like me and sometimes he’ll just message me on fb to say hi so I still might. What do you usually do right when you wake up? go back to sleep. Check my phone, pee, and head downstairs for some caffeine. Are you too shy to kiss the person you like? sometimes. he doesn't really give out the vibe that he wants to be kissed. kinda sad after being together for a year if you ask me, but oh well. No. He actually got a lot better about that when we got back together so he’ll kiss me randomly throughout the day when he’s home. We still don’t like make out anymore like when we first started dating though. Which sucks, because I love making out.  Can a girl love sex and not be a whore? i love sex and i'm not a whore. i've only been with one person. so yeah. Okay my number has doubled since then but I’m still not a whore because I’ve only been with one person besides my husband, and it was one time (we weren’t together). Hate the last person you kissed? sometimes. i love him more than anything though. Love him, hate him, want to punch him in the balls, want to have his children...it’s a rollercoaster. Are you someone who hates to read? used to love it. now it bores the shit out of me. I love reading, it’s just more gay fanfic than books nowadays. If you could change your eye color what would you change it to? i wouldn't. Still wouldn’t. My eyes are awesome. Do you think age matters in relationships? to an extent. Not really as long as everything’s legal and consensual. Name of your first cat? steven. Obvs that’s the same. But he was my first cat as a kid. My Marshie was my first cat as an adult. Would you rather be at the beach or lake? lake. Lake fosho. Clearly I’ve never liked beaches. What would you do if you found out the person you liked had a girlfriend/ boyfriend? i AM his girlfriend. I’d divorce his ass so hard. And keep my Impala lol Do you feel like you have life figured out? nobody does. No, and I’m positive I never will. Ever dropped a cell phone? i throw it more than i drop it. This is actually funny, because now I drop it way more than I throw it. I’ve mellowed but gotten clumsier. Who last hugged you? randa. This is actually the same. For all you tumblr folks, Maranda is my niece. And even though we live four hours apart now and I only get to see her once every few months, I happened to be home about a week and a half ago and she wasn’t in school because of a doctor’s appointment, so we got a few minutes together and she hugged me like four times. I love that little girl so much it kills me. Aaaand now I’m crying. Thanks, facebook mems.  Ever had a pet fish? no. No but my little sister has. He didn’t last a week lol Do you want your tongue pierced? no. Ew no way. Anything happen to you within the past month that made you really happy? kind of. Above story with Maranda, and getting my new car. which happened on the same day. Last time you spoke to the person you have feelings for? in person, 2 nights ago. he just texted me a few minutes ago though. In person, last Wednesday. We text randomly or talk on fb while he’s away for work. And I don’t talk on the phone at all so he doesn’t call me. Have you ever kissed 2 people at once? no.  No wtf Was your last kiss drunk? no but it was severely hung over lol I don’t even get drunk anymore.  What are you listening to at the moment? nothing. i should be showering. Fucking annoying Rachel Maddow and Seth Meyers. And my kitten, Thomas, is licking himself rather loudly. Your best friend has sex with your ex, what happens? haha...she's not retarded. she wouldn't do that. Well she has a boyfriend so no. Plus they are both my best friends. And definitely aren’t each other’s types. Although I do think if they were to get together she’d be the only girl besides me not to cheat on him because she doesn’t do that. Do you think you will be married by the time you are 25? probably not. I got married 29 days before my 26th birthday.  Whats the first thing you did when you opened your eyes today? shut off my alarm and went back to sleep. Looked at the time. Do you believe exes can be friends? sometimes. it just so happens that my exes are all crazy so we don't speak. These questions always amuse me because my ex is my best friend now and one of the most important people in the world to me. Have you ever kissed someone whose name started with a q? no. Still no. Where is the last person you kissed at right now? i would imagine he's on his way to work. I don’t remember if he’s on day or night shift this hitch, so he’s either working or sleeping. Last person you held hands with in the past 24 hour? randa while she was walking. I have had no face to face human interaction other than the drive-thru at McD’s. Would you go on a road trip with your friends? i've been dying to. In theory, yes. Because I love my friends and going anywhere with them would be a good time. However I’ve developed a very intense fear of traffic. So can it be like a short, rural road trip please? Would you shave your entire body (including your head)? no. I definitely wouldn’t shave my head. But also no to the rest because I can’t shave anywhere I have psoriasis patches. Which is 80% of my body. Pits and downstairs maintenance is all I can do. Did you sleep alone last night? unfortunately. I didn’t sleep last night. But yes, I am alone for another 5-ish days. Have you ever kissed just a friend? yeah. Yup. Did you have any unread text messages when you woke up today? no. I may have had something from Michael on fb but no texts. Nobody texts me but Dave anyway. Do you think people talk about you behind your back? i know they do. i don't give a shit cuz i probably talk about them too. Don’t care. Is it possible to be single and happy? yes. Probably. Idk, I haven’t been single in a long time. And I’ve never really been truly happy. Everyone deserves a second chance, right? not remotely true. Not everyone. Did you stand on your tippy-toes when you had your last kiss? i don't think i had the strength to. Pretty sure I was sitting on the front porch step. Who was the last person to call you? wes. Bill collectors, which I don’t answer. As for actual people I know, that would be David. And it was in January. And I didn’t answer. Lol Think back to this time last year, were you happy? i was getting there. No. That was when I started realizing how much I missed home. Do you smoke weed everyday? nope. I haven’t smoked weed in years. Smoke cigarettes every day though. Have you broken the law in the past 5 days? probably. I may have gone like 7mph over the speed limit. Do you have siblings over the age of 21? yep. My older sister is 36, my brother-in-law (her husband) will be 37 in two days, my other brother-in-law is 33, and both of my sisters-in-law are 31. Then there’s me at 27 and my little sister is 19. Have you kissed someone with braces? no. Still no. Did your last kiss take place on a bed? no - my entry way/mudroom thing. Like I said, porch. What was bad about today? ha. I’m still mourning Castiel’s death, even if it is temporary. What's been your biggest shock this year? nothing shocks me anymore. My old job fucking me over. And the spn finale. Currently wanting any piercings or tattoos? several. YAAAS omg I want so many more tattoos but with my skin the way it is I have nowhere to put them. Can you call the last person you kissed without it being awkward? not really cuz we both hate talking on the phone. i mean it's not awkward just out of character. I’mma keep that answer. Plus if he’s out of town for work I never know his schedule so I wouldn’t want to call him while he’s sleeping or on location. Who was the last person you had sleepover with? i mean i stay at dave's on the weekends but it's not really sleepovers...it's just staying there. I couldn’t even tell you. I don’t think it counts as a sleepover if you live with the person. And I’ve lived with Dave for almost 5 years. Do you like family get-togethers? well i don't like my family. so no. Depends on the occasion, the amount of time spent there, and how big of a bitch my older sister decides to be that day. She hasn’t been too bad lately so I think my dad’s birthday dinner next weekend should be okay. Do you hate the last person who called you? nope. The people who still want 400 bucks from me on behalf of Penelec? Yeah kind of. If you are being extremely quiet, what does that mean? could mean anything. I’m bored, tired, cranky, thinking, watching something, reading, or I just woke up and am not coherent yet so if you speak before you’re spoken to I’ll stab you. Did anyone watch you the last time you kissed someone? no. I doubt it, unless I have really creepy neighbors. Oh wait, I do. I wouldn’t put it past Sharon to watch us saying goodbye before Dave leaves. She’s like obsessed with us. Do you like to spend time with people? occasionally. Sometimes but I prefer to be alone. Just not as alone as I am now. Because I’m ALWAYS alone. 

Do you want a relationship right now? i'm in one and yes i want it. Um. Mostly. Where did you last fall asleep other than a bed? couch.  Sometimes I fall asleep in the car when we go back home for a visit.

Have you ever been called heartless? usually. Yeah.

Okay! So mostly we’ve discovered that I’m still a cynical little shit but I use capitalization now so that’s personal growth. For the most part my relationship with my family has improved. Dave’s stuck with me so I don’t have to second guess all the minutiae of our relationship. If it falls apart I’m like whatever I saw this coming years ago and it won’t kill me. Annnd I still have no ambition or drive. It’s always sobering to learn things about yourself and how much you’ve changed in a given span of time. Alright, I gotta poop. If you like reading this kind of shit, cool. If not, sorry not sorry. It took me over an hour so I probably won’t do it that often anyway.

[junker-town]

Masters 2017 predictions and picks: Jordan Spieth, Rory McIlroy favored again at Augusta

Here are some picks and predictions for a tradition unlike any other.

The music is playing. Jim Nantz’s ties are laid out for the week. The grounds are immaculately manicured and the stage is set.

It’s time for the Masters, a tradition unlike any other and one that can be especially difficult to handicap. There are champions who come out of nowhere and others who are already the legends of the game. Predicting what will happen in a golf tournament is always difficult, even with a smaller field like at the Masters. But that doesn’t mean we don’t give it our best shot to discuss and dissect what we think will happen this week at Augusta National.

Who is your darkhorse or sleeper pick?

Emily: Soren Kjeldsen — He beat Rory McIlroy in match play after chalking up four missed cuts earlier in the year and at 150/1 it doesn’t get much dark harsher than that. Oh, and he finished T7 at Augusta in 2016.

Trevor: How about a guy like Tyrrell Hatton? He could be this year’s Danny Willett and not just because they are both British. His starts on the PGA Tour this year have gone T4, 10, T4, T17. Not bad. With so much hype around the big names, this could be another year where an under the radar guy slips on a green jacket.

Brendan: Adam Hadwin is the guy here. He’s got a ton of game, been brilliant over the past month, and is a rookie with a legit chance at contending. He’s in the top 10 on Tour in strokes gained-putting and that’s always a club that will suit you well at Augusta.

Kyle: It’s Hadwin. I ranked him probably unreasonably high in my 94-1 countdown at 21, and he’s inside the FedEx Cup top 5 in points with some big names for a reason. One point of concern? The relatively small Canadian isn’t a big hitter, and that might not be the best archetype for a player looking to have success on a blustery, wet Thursday and Friday at Augusta.

Which big name, or names, are you worried about flaming out and missing the weekend?

Emily: He may not be a BIG NAME, but Danny Willett did win the Masters last year so that has to count for something. Not enough though, as only three golfers have repeated as Masters champs and Willett — who has failed to break into the top 35 on the PGA Tour since his stunning 2016 victory — will not join Jack Nicklaus, Nick Faldo, and Tiger Woods in the record books, nor make it to the weekend in 2017.

Also, Bubba Watson. He has two Masters wins but other than that his play at Augusta has been rather pedestrian and he seems to have lost his fast ball (and should lose those hideous pink Volviks) along with the 20 pounds.

The hardest of passes on Bubba this week.

Brendan: We thought Bubba would be the favorite here for years, with his booming drives faded between the pines via that left handers advantage we hear so much about these days. But he is playing a neon pink putt-putt ball that springs off the putter and has him 199th on the PGA Tour in strokes gained putting. He’s been a non-factor all year and seems checked out from the game right now. This is a course where he could just show up and contend without any form, but it doesn’t look good for the two-time green jacket winner right now.

Kyle: The hardest of passes on Bubba this week. Did you realize it’s been over a year (last year’s WGC at Doral) since he’s been in contention? Sure, sure, he’s played well here. But right now, it doesn’t seem that Bubba’s playing well anywhere. He’s probably a prime candidate for the Knox pairing on Saturday morning — or worse. A few others I’d stay away from: Jimmy Walker, Willett, and Adam Scott. Playing well leading into a major is important, friends.

Photo by Andrew Redington/Getty Images

Defending champion Danny Willett might have a hard time repeating in 2017.

Will Tiger ever play another the Masters?

Emily: It’s difficult to say never, but It’s almost impossible to imagine him ever being “tournament ready” for Augusta, or, really, anywhere after the way things have transpired. With his most recent and exceedingly short-lived “comeback” comprised of coming in 15th out of 18 at the Hero World Challenge, a missed cut at Torrey, and that dreadful one-day outing in Dubai, we’re extremely close — if not already there — to proclaiming Tiger done, even if Mark Steinberg won’t do the honors.

Brendan: Of course. It may just be for two days but I think he will tee it up in another Masters.

Kyle: He will, I think no question. Mike Weir’s corpse is still scuffing it around this place! Bernie Langer played in the second to last pairing last year at 58. Yes, Cat will be back. He might should 85-86, but he’ll be back.

Photo by Ezra Shaw/Getty Images

It’s hard to imagine Tiger Woods at least not getting on the course at Augusta one more time.

Which rookie will have the best showing?

Emily: Jon Rahm is everybody’s favorite and for good reason, but another somewhat anonymous Brit, Tommy Fleetwood, could be this year’s surprise first-timer.

Trevor: So many good names to choose from here. Hadwin shot 59 at the CareerBuilder Challenge and added a win at the Valspar. We learned at the Ryder Cup last year that Thomas Pieters is a bad ass. But I think Rahm finishes as the high rookie. He’s finished top 10 in each of his last four events including almost stealing one from DJ at the Match Play.

Kyle: Hadwin, Rahm, the Toms — plural (Fleetwood, Pieters). There’s plenty of options here. If you’d like to keep an eye on a real deep cut, watch out for Curtis Luck. Aussie amateur seems destined to be next, though he struggled mightily at Arnie’s tournament.

What will be the winning score?

Emily: 9-under - the same winning score Jack Nicklaus posted when he won his final major in 1986 (see: this year’s winner below).

Kyle: I’ll say 8-under. Winds on Thursday and Friday won’t be fun in Amen Corner, but things should open up enough nicely on the weekend to get things closer to double digits.

Brendan: It will be soft for the first couple days, buuuut it also looks like it will be quite blustery. So I don’t think anyone is going to post some super low number in the first couple rounds. I don’t think it will be as rough as last year, but it doesn’t look like one of those Masters that becomes a birdie-fest. I think 10-under gets it done.

Expectations and finishing predictions

Dustin Johnson

Emily: Really difficult to pick against D.J., who’s on fire, but Augusta has not been a place where favorites often come out on top. He’ll bomb the crap out of the course, though, and contend all week.

Brendan: Even if he doesn’t play his best, he’s still likely to finish in the top 10, right? DJ is on that kind of heater right now and overwhelming the best fields this game has to offer. He’s the favorite for a reason. I’m not picking him to win but he will be there in the top five, which will make Sunday all the more thrilling.

Jordan Spieth

Brendan: He’s never finished worst than second in his first three Masters starts, which is outrageous when you don’t attach pictures to it. Of course, there are pictures and we’ve dissected everything that happened at Amen Corner ad nauseum for a year. He’s played well in the first quarter this year and there’s no reason to think he’s not the man to beat at every Masters given the way he’s plotted this course in his first three years. He’ll be back in the top 10 but not in that final Sunday pairing for the first time in his Masters career.

Rory McIlroy

Emily: He’s put too much pressure on himself to complete the career grand slam so it will be another disappointing non-win — though a fourth straight top-10 finish — for Rory.

Jason Day

Emily: His mother’s illness weighs heavily on him, making it a monumental task to focus as much as one must to score well at Augusta. He’ll likely finish outside the top 10.

Trevor: I think it will be another tough week for Day. The last few weeks must have been a strain mentally and physically.

Phil Mickelson

Trevor: His press conference will be great and he’ll do enough crazy stuff to make everyone thinks he has a chance before fading.

Brendan: Phil is such a joy to watch, follow, and listen to at Augusta. He has said it’s his favorite place in the world and it’s not an exaggeration to say he’ll contend here well into his 50s. After missing the cut last year, I think he’s back playing the weekend again but he said he feels like his season is really just getting started after two offseason surgeries. I don’t think Phil contends again this year.

Rickie Fowler

Emily: Wouldn’t that be the ultimate, “How do you like that, Johnny Miller?” if Rickie were to scuffle into a green jacket? Alas, not gonna happen, but Fowler has been playing well (one win and three additional top 10s since the MC at Torrey) so we could be looking at a top 10 for Rickie this week.

Brendan: Looooove Rickie this week. He’s back in form and hopefully has banished that opening round 80 last year from his memory. Rickie is going to place inside the top five and play in the final Sunday pairing. But it’s just another close call.

Sergio Garcia

Emily: One of the best players never to win a major, and that streak continues this week for Garcia, who is likely to have something of a lackluster tournament.

Kyle: VAAAAAAAAAAAAAMOS. Garcia’s playing extremely well and seems in line for a top-15 finish here, but I’ll save my cheerleading act for the next three majors — where he’s got a far better track record.

Photo by Andrew Redington/Getty Images

Phil Mickelson loves Augusta National and may finally win.

Who will win the green jacket? And by how many shots?

Trevor: It’s hard not to pick DJ considering how well he’s played this year. He played really well last year too. It’s also really hard to pick against Rory. It might be a little soft which will benefit him greatly. HOWEVER, I just can’t pick against a guy that has finished first and second twice in three career starts. Going with Jordan Spieth in a tight one.

Emily: Gotta go with Phil. He's 46, the same age as Jack when Nicklaus won his final Masters, so he has that (and a special love for Augusta where he has performed so beautifully over the years) going for him.

Brendan: It’s time. The course will be softened up. There’s less mania and pressure compared to prior years. He’s in form and seems and seems more comfortable here with the spotlight also on a few others. We’ll get the sixth man ever to complete the career grand slam on Sunday.

Sunday. http://pic.twitter.com/6jGWCGGd5D

— Jamie Kennedy (@jamierkennedy) April 3, 2017