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munson-blurbs · 7 months ago

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Living After Midnight (Failed Rockstar!Eddie x Motel Worker!Reader)

♫ Summary: Eddie asked you on a date. Maybe. Possibly. But you definitely accepted. (5.6k words)

♫ CW: slowburn, strangers-to-lovers, angst, anxiety, parental conflict, poverty, mentions of sex, Reader wears a miniskirt, drinking, tipsiness, idiots in love, eventual smut (18+ only, minors DNI)

♫ Divider credit to @hellfire--cult

chapter ten: this foolish lover's game

“I’m telling you: it’s a date.”

Nora flicked through the items on the clearance rack, searching for something in your size. She pulled out a floral shirt, wrinkled her nose, and promptly put it back.

“It’s 1993. A guy and a girl can hang out without it being something romantic,” you retorted, trying to ignore the fuzziness that filled your head at the potential classification of your upcoming night out with Eddie as a ‘date.’

“Very true. But that’s not the case here.” Nora sighed at the limited clothing choices and at your stubbornness. She stalked over to a rack of regularly-priced skirts, evidently on a mission. “And you know it, too, which is why you asked me to help you choose a new outfit.”

You had done that, though you definitely regretted it now. It had been so long since you’d actually gone out with friends that you really did need new clothes, but you had no idea where to start.

Enter Nora: best friend extraordinaire. She was just as great at finding clothes that flatter your figure as she was at being a study buddy. Her opinion mattered to you; it was necessary, especially considering the way you currently teemed with self-doubt.

She plucked a denim miniskirt from the lineup and held it against your waist. “Go try this on,” she said. You reached for the price tag, almost certain that it was out of budget, but she clamped her hand over yours. “My treat. Now, go.”

There was no arguing with her, not while she was shooing you into the dressing room. She clasped your shoulders as she steered you towards a curtain, yanked it open, and shoved you inside. “I’ll wait here,” she said.

You closed the curtain once again, unbuttoning your shorts and letting them fall to the thin carpet below you.

The skirt hung on its hanger, buttons all along the front, and it was impossible not to imagine Eddie being the one undoing them. His nimble fingers would dance across the seam as he positioned himself between your legs. You could practically feel his hands as they crept further upwards towards that dangerously sensitive part of you—

“Can we stop by the food court when you’re done? I’m dying for one of those cinnamon pretzels.”

The sound of Nora’s voice instantly cooled your heating skin. “Y-Yeah, sure,” you stammered.

Focus on that, you silently reprimanded yourself. Focus on Auntie Anne’s or Orange Julius or Panda Express—not Eddie tracing his tongue along your inner thighs.

You stepped into the skirt, warding off any lingering Eddie-related thoughts. Monday night would be like hanging out with Nora or Ben. There was no need to worry about your hair, or your clothes, or your makeup. Eddie was a friend, and only a friend, despite what absurdities your other friends planted in your head.

With the last button fastened, you allowed yourself to glance at your reflection in the mirror. The denim hugged your curves delicately, providing just a hint of what laid beneath without giving too much away. It looked odd paired with the old t-shirt you’d thrown on this morning, but the right top would make a world of difference.

Nora clapped her hands together the moment you opened the curtain. Her brown eyes lit up, and a soft squeal of excitement emanated from her throat.

“You’re gonna have Eddie eating out the palm of your hand,” she declared, reaching out to give you a little spin.

You gently pulled away from her as though it would offset the fluttering low in your stomach. “I told you, it’s—”

“Yeah, I know. Just two friends going to the bar, pretending they don’t wanna bone each other.” Nora rolled her eyes, already sick of the will they-won’t they song-and-dance.

You ducked back into the fitting room to change out of the skirt. “He doesn’t wanna bone me.”

“But you wanna bone him?”

It came out as a question, but you knew she meant as a statement.

“First of all, stop saying ‘bone.’” You hissed, tugging your shorts back over your legs. “Second, Eddie and I are friends, and he’s taking me out for graduation. End of story.”

Nora’s sigh was audible from the other side of the curtain. “Not ‘end of story.’ You didn’t answer my question. Do you wanna b—have sex with Eddie?”

Your hesitation was enough of an answer for her, and though you couldn’t see her face, you were certain she was grinning when she announced, “I knew it!”

“It’s not like that,” you protested. The fitting room was suddenly far too crowded and depleted of oxygen despite you being its only occupant. You threaded the teeth into your shorts zipper and grabbed the skirt, now heavy in your hand. “Yeah, he’s pretty cute, but—”

“But nothing. C’mon, just admit it: you like Eddie.” You could detect a hint of exasperation in her tone. Frustration, even, or confusion as to why you continually denied yourself life’s small pleasures.

You couldn’t answer that, either.

Protest died with the subtle twitch of your lips that gave away the truth. You hated your tells, the ones that swiftly uncovered the feelings you worked diligently to stifle. And you knew that if Nora kept pressing you about this crush, you would eventually break down and divulge it all.

Not just your burgeoning romantic feelings towards Eddie. Not the way you told bad jokes just to see his lopsided smile and the nose crinkle that often accompanied it. Not the multiple occasions when you caught yourself staring at the muscles in his arms and ached to kiss right along the hardened edge of his biceps.

Once you said those thoughts out loud, gave them the weight of spoken words, they became real. Able to hurt you when he inevitably didn’t reciprocate them.

And that terrified you.

“You have a big ol’ crush on him,” Nora continued, “and he has one on you.”

“He doesn’t have a crush on me,” you mumbled, purposely averting your gaze from hers.

Through peripheral vision, you could see her raise one brow. “Says who?”

Says the song lyrics about his ex-girlfriend. But that was too much to explain, so you slapped on a tight smile and shook the thought away. “Never mind. Let’s just pay for this.”

Nora swiped her credit card with an ease that only comes with the luxury of not having to worry about paying the water bill. She never had to dip into her own savings to keep the lights on. Buying her friend a miniskirt for a maybe-date wasn’t going to affect her grocery budget.

“I have the perfect pair of Docs to go with this. You can borrow them,” she said, pointedly adding “for your date.” She was either oblivious or didn’t care that the cashier was eavesdropping on your conversation.

“Not a date.”

“Yeah, whatever.” Nora plucked the bagged skirt from the cashier, flashed her a grateful smile, and shoved it in your direction. “Just answer one question for me—are you gonna wear lace panties underneath this, or cotton?”

When you once again failed to look at her, her grin widened.

“That’s what I thought.”

On Monday evening, you found yourself poised in front of the mirror, still fogged from your shower. The inky blue sky leaked into your room through the time-worn blinds, the sun almost fully faded into nighttime, which meant that Eddie would be knocking on your door at any moment.

The hem of your black fitted t-shirt met the waist of your skirt, the slightest gap between the two fabrics. It wasn’t scandalous by any stretch of the imagination, but it still conveyed one message: you wanted Eddie to look at you. Wanted him to notice your soft skin the way you noticed his flexing muscles, with awe and more lust than you cared to admit.

Did it all reek of desperation? What if Eddie was wearing the sweatpants he’d donned to remove the wallpaper? Just the possibility of him looking at your own outfit, at the effort you put into your appearance, and realizing you’d interpreted a friendly gesture as a date had you cringing.

No, this was a bad idea. You had to back out, now. Claim that you weren’t feeling well, maybe even take some ibuprofen in front of him, and promise a raincheck. You did feel the familiar throbbing that accompanied a tension headache, so it wasn’t a total lie—

Knock knock.

Sweat overrode the antiperspirant you’d lathered on, flooding you with a nervous heat. You frantically wiped your slick palms on the bed sheet like a cat at its scratching post and opened the door.

Eddie's eyes widened and his tongue brushed over his lower lip. There was no hiding the way his gaze dropped to your exposed thighs, drinking in every ounce of visible skin as though it was the only sustenance he’d ever need. His stare was hungry, if only for a moment, before his words broke the trance.

“You look…good. Pretty.” He swallowed thickly and forced himself to meet your eyes. “Sorry…just not used to seeing you all dressed up.”

Pretty. Eddie Munson thought you were pretty. The notion sent serotonin surging through you, a soft giggle passing through your lips. It was embarrassing, this schoolgirl crush, the way a simple word from him rendered you pathetically speechless.

A barrage of compliments perched themselves on your tongue, waiting to be untethered. He looked good, too; beyond that, he looked handsome. His cream colored shirt was baggy around his torso but clung to his biceps, drawing your attention to the vein that ran up his forearm.

You willed yourself to say something, anything, to reciprocate his kind words.

He shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans, mirroring your nervous energy as he gently rocked from the heel to the toe of his Reeboks. “We should get going,” he said.

Opportunity slipped from your grasp; anything you said now would seem like pity. Your only response was a nod as you locked the door and started towards the lobby.

Pretty. Pretty. Pretty.

Mom stood behind the desk, flipping through the check-in sheets with the cap end of a pen clenched between her teeth. She looked up, blinking in rapid succession when she saw you and Eddie approaching. You weren’t sure what surprised her more: you going out, or the man accompanying you.

“Well, don’t you two look nice!” She grinned, though the smile didn’t quite reach her tired eyes. “What’s the occasion?”

“Just getting a drink,” you said as casually as you could. “Celebrating my—the wallpaper.” It was a lame finish, one that Mom didn’t quite believe, but she lacked the energy to push further.

Guilt panged in your chest, not just at the lie, but because part of you felt like you were taking advantage of her exhaustion. You couldn’t tell her the real reason for the celebration; bile rose in your throat at the thought. Instead, you smiled and promised to be home before the start of your shift.

“I’ll make sure she behaves,” Eddie added with a mischievous edge, not sexual in nature but still had your stomach doing somersaults. “I know she can be quite the troublemaker.”

Mom laughed at this, so pure and genuine that you were half-tempted to ask Eddie if you could stay here and talk with her all night. Maybe he could break the news to her, since they seemed to get on well enough.

You felt her watch as Eddie opened the door for you and gave the tiniest bow to let you pass, though you didn’t dare look back at her. Not because she wouldn’t approve—just the opposite. Looking at your mother would confirm what you already knew deep down: she’d be beaming at the sight of you going on a date.

If that’s what this was.

Eddie shuffled to walk right by your side, sneakers scuffing against the broken pavement. A flicker of hope ignited within you that he would do something to confirm that this was, in fact, a romantic endeavor and not just two friends getting a drink. Perhaps an arm slung over your shoulder or a hand laced with yours.

There was only the gentle brush of his fingers against yours, knuckles grazing one another as they nearly slotted together. It was taunting, the way they could be a perfect fit if given the chance.

You almost went for it, almost grabbed hold of his hand yourself, but fear had you in its own grasp. Even if the benefit outweighed the risk, you couldn’t stop picturing him tugging his hand away from yours in a humiliating show of rejection.

“You okay? You’re not, like, mad at me again, are you?” Concern creased Eddie’s brows, and your heavy heart realized that the last time you were this quiet around him was after the argument.

“Not at all. Sorry.” You shot him a reassuring smile. “Just lost in my own thoughts.” You sent up a silent prayer that he wouldn’t ask you to elaborate on those thoughts.

Luckily, he just tilted his head towards you, his eyes taking on an even more doe-like quality than usual. “That’s the problem with you smart people: you’re always thinking too much.”

You laughed as you nudged him, your right shoulder colliding with his left. He stumbled slightly, quickly catching himself before he could fully lose his balance.

“Hey!” He yelped, rubbing his upper arm. The muscles beneath it flexed at his touch. “Don’t damage the merchandise.”

“I wouldn’t dare. I…” You shook your nerves loose and faced him, speaking before you fully lost yourself in his full, waiting lips. “I’d never damage merchandise as priceless as you.”

Eddie stopped in his tracks, the compliment seemingly rebooting his brain. Was it too forward? No, it couldn’t have been; he’d called you pretty just moments before. And it wasn’t as if you’d been forward enough to say he was sexy (though he was) or accidentally emasculated him by pointing out how adorable his soft dimples were (another fact).

His exhale was a disbelieving chuckle. “I, uh, don’t think anyone’s called me ‘priceless’ before. ‘Worthless,’ maybe, but…” He trailed off in an attempt to contain it as a lighthearted joke, but it was anchored by an undeniable truth.

If you could, you would wash away the ego-marring stains left behind by those who hurt him. Scrub and scrub until it was once again pristine as though they’d never been tarnished by self-doubt.

“Priceless.” You said it definitively, leaving no room for further argument.

Eddie ducked behind his hair, letting the curly locks dangle over his mouth to mask his flustered smile. You were willing to bet that a blush was spreading across the apples of his cheeks.

Curiosity loosened your inhibitions enough for you to reach out and tuck a few strands behind his ear. Sure enough, a delicate pink tinged his skin. You wanted to kiss it until your lips grew swollen from where his stubble scratched them raw.

Doing that would require something far more potent than inquisitiveness.

There was a decent crowd that night, not as packed as the weekend would have been, but there were enough people that only one empty stool remained in front of the bar. Eddie gestured to it, offering you the seat just as he had on the subway last week.

You tucked the denim fabric of your skirt behind your thighs as you sat. Eddie watched every movement, an unreadable desire darkening his expression, as if he wished it were his fingers on your skin.

Your smile seemed to snap him from his trance. He waved down the bartender, who held up her forefinger to signal she would be right over.

A shadow draped over you as you scanned the liquor-cluttered shelves, bathing you in a welcoming darkness. Protection. Eddie’s arms framed your torso, his hands planted firmly on the bartop. And when you lightly grasped his wrist, your thumb rubbing against the soft hairs on his arm, you could have sworn you felt the tension leave his body in one swift exhale.

“What are you gonna get?” The grainy pop music playing from the speakers and a cacophony of neighboring conversations muffled his voice, and he had to shout just to be heard.

“A vodka tonic.” Simple, classic, and most importantly—not expensive. Though you probably should let him be the judge of that, considering it was his treat. “If that’s okay?”

Eddie laughed softly and nodded. “It’s your night, Heiress.” The tip of his tongue swiped over his lower lip.

He ordered your drink first, then placed his order for whatever beer was on tap before declining to open a tab. Your chest went slightly concave; you should have followed his lead and ordered the cheaper option.

As if sensing your guilt, Eddie pulled back enough to look you in the eye. “It’s your night,” he repeated, grabbing your short, stout glass and placing it in your hand. He raised his own taller mug, proposing a toast. “To a badass future social worker and all of the lives she’s gonna change. For the better,” he added quickly.

Before he could clink his glass to yours, you locked eyes with him. The brown eyes that steeled themselves against you the night he first checked into the motel were now pillow-soft, beckoning you to fall. He may not have even been aware of it himself.

“To the coolest rockstar I know,” you said, allowing the lips of your glasses to touch. “And the second-coolest guest to ever stay at the motel.”

Eddie raised a brow. “Second?”

“You really think you’re cooler than Phyllis?”

“Touché.” He relented with a smirk, taking a swig of his drink that left a foamy mustache on his upper lip. Without a second thought, he licked it away.

The movement enraptured you: his tongue swiping over his skin, leaving no residue in its wake. That same tongue that peeked out from his mouth when he was focused, a simple muscle, but it held your attention for a beat too long.

“Are you…” Eddie gestured towards your vodka tonic, and you realized you hadn’t even taken a sip.

Cheers to embarrassing yourself ten minutes into the date. Non-date. Whatever it was.

The vodka’s bitterness and the bubbles from the tonic water seeped into your tongue. You savored the burn as you swallowed. It had been so long since you’d had a drink, and just the first taste had you buzzing. If you didn’t pace yourself properly, you’d be tipsy far too soon.

The sound system crackled and microphone feedback shot through the bar. You and Eddie winced in unison, each taking a gulp of your drinks.

A man in his mid-thirties, balding with a goatee, stood at a makeshift stage at the back of the bar. “Welcome to Music Mondays here at The Brink. That’s right…it’s karaoke night!”

There was a smattering of applause that didn’t match the emcee’s enthusiasm, but he remained undeterred.

“Sign up here with your name and your song, and we’ll get started in a few minutes. Drink that liquid courage and come on down!” The microphone screeched once more as he slid it back into the stand.

You turned to Eddie, your eyes wide with mischief. “You’re gonna do it, right?”

Eddie scoffed. “Fuck, no. I’m not getting up there and making a fool of myself.”

“But it’s my night,” you reminded him. “You said so yourself.”

He looked poised to argue, one hand gripped tightly around the mug’s handle, his mouth ready to say no. But then you batted your eyelashes and pouted, all in jest. A dramatic showing that you didn’t expect would convince him.

A wry smile betrayed his tough exterior as his thumb ghosted your lower lip. Lightning crackled at his touch, soft as it was, illuminating your bones and surging through your veins. When he pulled back, Adam's apple bobbing in his throat, a light red stain tinged his skin. If he noticed it, he made no attempt to wipe it off.

“It is your night,” he mused, gaze flickering to your mouth before promptly returning to your eyes. When you lit up in anticipation of him conceding, he couldn’t help but grin back. “One song. And I’m choosing it.”

You couldn’t argue with him, not when his touch still lingered on your lip. He disappeared for a moment to add his name to the list. As soon as he was out of sight, you took a much larger gulp of your drink. A trickle escaped out of the corner of your mouth, and you haphazardly swiped at it with the back of your hand, lest it ruin the shirt you’d picked out especially for the date.

This isn’t a date. The reminder was as harsh as the vodka itself. You lifted the glass once more and drained it until the half-melted ice cubes clicked against your teeth. Whatever this evening was, you needed to relax. Enjoy Eddie’s company without reading too much into his every move.

You turned your attention to the TV mounted above the shelves, engrossing yourself in the scrolling closed captions. A weatherman announced that this summer was going to be a ‘scorcher,’ and though he said it with a plastic grin, you inwardly cringed at the impact the air conditioning would have on the electric bill.

“I’m up third.” Eddie’s voice broke in, turning the upcoming weather into a distant memory. He raised his brows when he saw your glass, now empty on the sticky bartop. “You finished that already?”

“Mhm.” Your smile was sloppier than you intended, your head starting to float from your neck as tipsiness crept in.

Eddie breathed out, shaking his head with a glimmer of a smirk. You couldn’t tell if he was annoyed or impressed, and you didn’t have time to ask before he waved over the bartender. “Just water, please.” He nodded his thanks when she slid it over. “Drink,” he said to you, and you dutifully obliged.

“What song did you pick out?” Something that is supposed to be screamed more than sung, you assumed.

He just shook his head again and swallowed more beer. “It’s a surprise.” His eyes twinkled when he said it, and you wondered if his choice erred more on the side of Madonna than Metallica.

A woman got up on stage and began her rousing rendition of Girls Just Wanna Have Fun.

Peppy? Upbeat? A great way to kick off karaoke night? Absolutely.

On-key? Not even close.

“If you ever start a new band, you should ask her to join.” You chinpointed towards the woman currently butchering the Cyndi Lauper classic. “She’s got that star power, I think.”

Eddie snorted but composed himself quickly to play into your joke. “I’m worried she’d outshine me.” He widened his eyes in faux concern. “Go solo and leave me behind, y’know?”

“She’ll probably steal all of your groupies, too,” you added, tutting as if to say, what a shame.

“Even you?”

You cocked your brow. “Who said I’m your groupie?”

He leaned his elbow against the bar, mouth slackjaw at your rejection. Disbelieving laughter left his throat in a huff.

“I take you out, treat you to the best watered-down drink this city has to offer, and this is the thanks I get?” His curls brushed against his cheeks when he shook his head. “Who would you be a groupie for? Wait, no; lemme guess.” He tapped his finger to his chin. “New Kids on the Block? Boyz II Men?”

“I think I’d die if Joey McIntyre so much as looked at me.” You hadn’t meant to say that aloud. The watered-down or not, the alcohol was certainly turning sober thoughts into tipsy words.

Eddie chugged half of the beer, watching as the woman on stage finished her song and left with a triumphant bow. “Pretty sure your shitty taste in music is what plays at the gates of Hell,” he said to you.

Your response was a mere flick of your middle finger.

A man in a suit took the stage next, loosening his tie as he positioned himself behind the microphone. A group of similarly-dressed men started hooting and hollering obnoxiously the moment the opening chords to Don’t Stop Believin’ blared through the sound system.

You looked back to Eddie. If he was nervous about singing karaoke, he didn’t show it. His shoulders were relaxed, his posture much less tense than on the walk to the bar. Maybe the alcohol loosened him up as it had you.

“What about you?” You asked. “Whose groupie would you be?”

“Easy,” he said, not missing a beat. “Joan Jett. Total badass, killer musician, and hot as hell.” He nodded to confirm his choice before leaning in and loudly whispering. “Bad Reputation was basically my secret anthem in high school.”

You laughed. “Did you imagine it playing in the background when you walked down the halls?”

“Oh, absolutely.” Eddie grinned and polished off his beer.

His confession warmed you—or maybe that was just the vodka working its way through your bloodstream. Regardless, you were intrigued by the glimpse into his past and found yourself hungry for more.

“Can I ask you a non-groupie related question?”

“Shoot.”

Your tongue was heavy, the resulting slurring softening your words. “If your hometown is so shitty, why are you trying to go back?”

He loosened a chuckle, glancing at the shelves of booze before looking back to you. “My uncle still lives there. He, ah, he raised me after my dad split and my mom…y’know.” Eddie cleared his throat and managed a small smile. “Why? You want me to stick around?”

The hair on his forearm tickled when he slid it over to nudge you, his pinky finger overlapping yours.

Of course you wanted him to stick around. You’d smear honey all over the motel’s siding to lure more bees, tempt them to build their nests among the sticky sweetness, just so he would have a reason to stay.

The man on stage belted out his final “don’t stop believin’” as his buddies enveloped him in drunken hugs.

“All right!” The emcee bleated into the microphone. “Next up, we have…” He checked the sign-up sheet. “…Eddie! Let’s give him a hand, folks.”

A smattering of applause echoed throughout the room, the excitement of karaoke night already dwindling. If Eddie noticed, he didn’t show it.

“This one’s for you, Heiress.” He winked and sprinted towards the stage.

Eddie pressed his foot on the microphone stand, adjusting it so it was level with his lips. His fingers curled around its neck, dramatically tugging it closer as the instrumentals piped through the sound system.

Well, since my baby left me Well, I found a new place to dwell Well, it's down at the end of Lonely Street At Heartbreak Hotel

His hips swung back and forth, the gyrations not quite as precise as Elvis’s, but he still snapped them in time with the staccato guitar chords. The right heel of his sneakers tapped the floor as he continued, voice dipping into his lower register.

Where I'll be, I'll be so lonely, baby Well, I'm so lonely I'll be so lonely, I could die

Free hand pressed to his heart, Eddie leaned in your direction and tilted the mic stand while he sang. The movements were reminiscent of how a man would dance with someone he loved, impassioned yet graceful. Charisma oozed from every pore, his natural command of the stage an enduring reminder of his brief foray into rock stardom.

The other patrons faded into the background as his eyes fixed on you, a personal serenade rather than karaoke night amongst a sea of drunks. Easiness weaved through each note he sang, his body loosening and his lips curving into a smile when you let out a vodka-fueled whoop of admiration.

Now, the bellhop's tears keep flowin' And the desk clerk's dressed in black Well, they've been so long on Lonely Street Well, they'll never, they'll never look back

Eddie pointed to you when he referenced the desk clerk, the crowd following his every move. The heat of their stares only exacerbated the warmth that the alcohol already sent coursing through you, but you felt no need to hide. The rich timbre of his voice was a magnetic pull, drawing you in until it echoed deep in your bones.

Although it's always crowded But you still can find some room For broken hearted lovers To cry there in their gloom Where they get so, they get so lonely, baby Well, they're so lonely They'll be so lonely, they could die

He ended the song with one final swing of his hips, one foot turned inward in an Elvis-esque pose. If anyone else applauded for him, it couldn’t be heard over the sound of your cheers.

He made a beeline for you. “Did that live up to your expectations?” Sweat dripped from his flushed forehead and down his temples.

“Exceeded them, actually.”

The bartender slid over two shot glasses filled with amber liquid. “On the house,” she explained when you and Eddie looked at her in confusion.

You shouldn’t. The TV set that broadcasted the news showed that it was nearly nine o’clock and you were already tipsy from the one drink. Adding a shot—and subsequently mixing liquor—was a recipe for disaster.

“You don’t have to drink it if you don’t wanna,” Eddie said. “I’ll take them both.”

With a shake of your head, you took the glass nearest you and downed it, the whiskey burning stronger than you had anticipated. Tears reflexively welled in your eyes, leaving you clinging to the hope that you had blinked them away before Eddie could notice.

He let out a soft, low whistle. “Well, okay then.” His own shot disappeared past his grimacing lips.

A familiar synthesized beat replaced the idle hum of conversation as a middle-aged woman began her song. Eddie threw back his head when he heard it, groaning as though the ‘80s hit left him in agony.

“You’re such a music snob,” you lamented, reaching out with both of your hands to grab onto his. If this is what liquid courage felt like, you were more than happy to ride that wave. “There’s more to life than heavy metal.”

“I just sang Elvis!” He protested, but his efforts were all in vain as you hopped off of the barstool and led him away from your empty shot glasses. “Heiress…” His tone was a warning, one that you promptly ignored.

You let your gaze meet his, the vodka-and-whiskey combination working overtime to stifle your nerves.

“Dance with me.”

Eddie laughed. “You’re tipsy.”

“I’m tipsy and I want you to dance with me.”

“You wanna dance, huh?” He laughed again when you nodded. “All right; let’s dance.”

Eddie’s hands slid down to your wrists and adjusted your arms so they draped over his shoulders, his curls tickling your fingers when they clasped behind his neck. He hesitated for a second before letting his own fingertips rest on your waist, careful to avoid dipping below the small of your back.

Watching, I keep waiting, still anticipating love Never hesitating to become the fated ones

The current performer was marginally better than the first two, but her voice wasn’t nearly as polished as Eddie’s. She kept getting too close to the mic, the lyrics muffled each time her purple-lipsticked mouth grazed the cover.

You inched forward, your chest against Eddie’s as the two of you swayed in tandem. His fingers flexed before tugging you closer, evidence that you weren’t the only one affected by the shot.

“Can’t remember the last time I heard this song,” he mused wistfully. “Probably my senior prom. The last one, anyway.”

“You had more than one senior prom?”

His cheeks, already pinkened from the liquor, flushed a deeper shade of red. “Yeah, it, uh, took me a few tries to graduate,” Eddie admitted. “But I did it.” A sheepish smile still held a twinge of pride.

“You did it.”

“Yeah.” One arm reached back to grasp your hand and twirl you around, and you breathed an audible sigh of relief when the room didn’t spin with you. “But tonight,” he grinned, “is all about you.”

You. Not the motel or its crumbling financial infrastructure. Not the guests or your parents. Not school or exams or term papers. Just you.

An involuntary giggle wriggled its way up and you ducked your head to hide it, your forehead brushing against Eddie’s lips. Did he purse them slightly in a hint of a kiss, or was that a figment of your imagination?

Turning and returning to some secret place inside Watching in slow motion as you turn my way and say Take my breath away

“You okay?” Eddie asked, a smile in his voice.

“Mhm. Just happy.”

“Yeah? Good.” His forefinger tucked under your chin and tilted it upwards, granting him a better look at you. The tip of his tongue parted his lips and swiped over the whiskey-scented residue. “You deserve to be happy.”

You did deserve to be happy. You deserved joyful moments in your life, people who surrounded you in sunshine even when rain poured.

My love, take my breath away My love, take my breath away

You deserved Eddie.

Standing before you, his eyes never strayed from your form, flicking from your face to where his hands gripped your waist. His chest rose and fell in time with the music.

“I…” You swallowed your fear, already tempered by tipsiness, curling your fingers into the back of his ribbed t-shirt collar.

Desire rippled down your spine and you leaned in to close that godforsaken gap, already tasting him on your tongue.

But not before he pulled away.

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cxrdycxps · 5 months ago

Text

Pretty Hurts • Ellie Williams

☢️ female reader • lesbian reader (it’s well defined) • canon typical violence • sexual assault • mean!ellie can’t deal with feelings • victim shaming • strap on sex • Ellie’s also mean in bed • recreational drug use ☢️

Main Masterlist • Ellie Williams Masterlist

“Jesse! Hey, Jesse.” You chased your friend up the street, almost running into him when he stopped suddenly. He looked you up and down, eyes narrowed. It had been unseasonably warm today but he was sure you were pushing it.

“What’s got you all dressed up, Princess?” Jesse asked and you looked down at your outfit like you needed a reminder of what you were wearing. “Or dressed down, I guess?”

“You think it’s hot?” You asked him and he blanched, looking over his shoulder as if Dina would appear out of nowhere to hear the conversation. “Not for you obviously.”

Jesse would admit there was a certain allure to it. He would admit that on his death bed where a very jealous Dina wouldn’t be able to strangle him for it.

You had your usual cowboy boots on that you wore year round. You had been heartbroken when you busted your last pair beyond repair while on patrol one day. Ellie had saved the day almost three weeks later when she returned with a new pair for you.

Usually you could be found clad in a tight pair of jeans, weirdly proud of your looks for someone who had been born after the world ended. It had earned you the nickname of Princess by most of your peers. Today, instead of the typical jeans, was a short denim skirt. You had clearly sacrificed a pair of jeans for them but Jesse could appreciate the sacrifice. Completely unbiased, just as a man.

He was starting to get paranoid Dina would hear his thoughts. At this point he was going to deserve to be strangled. The top you were wearing was also of your own doing. It had been a white blouse once, Jesse guessed. Except now it was sleeveless and cropped, tying at the front in a little knot. You hadn’t bothered to button it all the way.

“Well that answers that.” You grinned happily and Jesse blinked at you. “You were staring, it means I look hot.”

You gave him a little twirl and he was treated to a glimpse of what he was certain was definitely your underwear. He closed his eyes and asked the lord for strength, if he even existed.

“Tonight’s the night.” You told him enthusiastically. Jesse still hadn’t gathered enough brain cells to answer you but it was like you didn’t need him to. Like you could read his mind in the way he feared Dina could. “Ellie’s finally coming to a dance.”

“Think you’ve picked it up wrong, Princess. Ellie doesn’t dance. Ellie actively avoids dances by hanging out in Joel’s garage and smoking so much she reeks of weed for three days after.” That was oddly specific. Jesse knew far too much about his friends at this point. Ellie’s smoking habits, the color of your underwear. When would it end?

“I know but it’s part of her fixing her relationship with Joel. He likes these things apparently, even though he just sits down the back and glares at people.” You told Jesse excitedly. For some reason Joel liked you.

He told you about how he was trying to fix things between him and Ellie. He talked to you during meals, he patrolled with you and he even had been caught leaving your house.

In the beginning it had been weird. Everyone felt weird about it including Ellie who had callously called you out for fucking Joel a few months after she had arrived to Jackson.

You hadn’t had the best reaction about it. Calling Ellie a slew of names, promptly bursting into tears and running out of the Tipsy Bison. And while Joel would probably murder people for looking at Ellie wrong, he had shaken his head at Ellie, following you out of the bar.

Turns out you had known Joel. He had helped you years ago when he had come across a gang of rival raiders, ones that didn’t have the same barely there morals he had.

No women or no children. He had sworn he wouldn’t do that and he had stuck to it. So when he came across you, barely ten and already far more exposed to the cruelties of the world something in him had snapped.

He had gotten you and your mother away. And the pair of you had made your way to Jackson, only for him to find you years later. Your mother having passed away since he had last saw you.

It just so happened one of the nights he had been walking home late from the Tipsy Bison he had encountered you trying to tell one of the stable boys you weren’t interested.

He hadn’t listened and Joel had intervened, reminding you of that fateful night so many years ago. The puzzle pieces had clicked and you had formed a sort of dependency on the man who had saved your life.

At this point Joel was collecting daughters like they were Pokémon and he was too tired to keep fighting it so he just let you come around when you had some small issue you needed advice on.

You had explained some of this to Ellie the next night, apologizing for calling her names in an act of graciousness nobody was sure Ellie deserved. It wasn’t long until most of your inner circle had put it together that you had a crush on her.

Everyone but Ellie, that was. So you had hatched these elaborate schemes to get her attention and everyone watched when you crashed and burned only to bounce back again and again.

You were kind of unshakeable. It was almost inspiring.

So when you walked into the Tipsy Bison that night with your hair curled and what passed for make up on these days everyone was ready to watch you fail again.

A few of the women had been reclaiming old beauty practices after a particularly good patrol had found an old salon with hair styling tools. And some out of date makeup but it was powders so did it even count as an expiration date?

“She always does so much and for what?” Ellie asked and Joel looked up from his drink to find you scanning the crowd. “Oh god she’s going to coming over here.”

“Cut her some slack, I thought you were friends now.” Joel sighed and Ellie looked back at Joel before looking back at you.

“We’ve nothing in common except Jesse and Dina.” Ellie explained to Joel. Joel knew he was on thin enough ice with Ellie so he didn’t mention that according to you, there was so many shared interests that it just made sense.

Instead of approaching like Ellie had predicted you would after spotting her, you made your way to the bar instead and Joel watched Ellie’s eyes lock on the length of your skirt. Or rather the lack of length to it.

Joel wondered if he was in good enough graces with Ellie again yet to make a joke about it but he caught himself at the last second in case he ruined your best laid plans.

He looked back to you at the bar and found it wasn’t just Ellie’s attention you had managed to capture. Stable boy apparently hadn’t learned his lesson and had returned for more.

Joel straightened up in his seat and wondered if Tommy would kill him for hurting this kid. It would probably be worth it to teach him a lesson.

Joel didn’t need to move because he watched Ellie approach you and slot in on your other side, taking all of your attention. Ellie gestured for three drinks off Seth before turning to look at you.

“New skirt?” Ellie asked and you lit up like the fact that she noticed was the greatest thing ever. Like you couldn’t even hear the stable boy say anything from behind you as he attempted to get your attention back.

“Do you like it?” You asked Ellie, giving her a little twirl so she could appreciate the whole view. Ellie let her eyes trace you up and down as you finished with a little bounce and who was Ellie to not appreciate the way your tits moved.

“I mean, it’s a skirt.” She shrugged and you visibly deflated as Seth approached with the drinks.

“I think it’s a great skirt.” Stable boy told you and you barely looked over your shoulder at him to roll your eyes.

“Literally no one in Jackson cares what you think Darwin.” You snapped and Ellie laughed lightly, nudging the third glass in your direction.

“Come on then.” She instructed and nodded to where Joel was sitting, watching the whole interaction with what was almost a smile on his face.

“With you?” You asked, cradling the drink in your hand and looking between her and the table.

“Unless you want to stay here with Darwin?” Ellie shrugged and started walking away. It was almost embarrassing how quickly you followed her over to the table. Instead of taking the seat she had been in, beside Joel, she took the one across the table from him, kicking the chair beside her out in a casual way that made your heart beat double time.

“Hey Joel, how you doin’?” You asked, smiling at him before taking a sip of your drink. He took his own drink from the table and sipped at it slowly, looking over your shoulder.

“Am I gonna have to talk to Stable Boy?” Joel asked rather than answer your question and you followed his gaze to where Darwin had his elbows leaned back on the bar, watching you.

“She’s plenty capable, ain’t you Princess?” Ellie asked, her arm sliding along the back of your chair. “Put him in his place just now.”

You had been barely paying attention to Darwin at the bar, definitely not enough to remember what you had said. Recalling as much was even hard with Ellie’s fingers tracing the place when you had cut the sleeves off your blouse. Her finger traced your skin lightly and you could feel the goosebumps following in her wake.

“Is that so?” Joel asked with what was almost a smile. “What’d you tell him?”

“I uh, I don’t know.” You muttered, looking back again to find Darwin wasn’t looking anymore, talking to some of his friends. “I wasn’t mean, was I?”

“Told him no one cared about his opinion in all of Jackson.” Ellie sounded proud of you and you leaned further back into her arm with a satisfied grin.

“He should know better than goin’ talkin’ to you anyway.” Joel muttered, swirling his glass as the music started up. “I obviously didn’t scare him enough.”

Ellie looked between you both and back to Darwin. You figured she didn’t know anything about the night Joel interrupted you both in the middle of an argument.

“Darwin’s really not so bad.” You sighed, looking back at him again. He was talking avidly, telling a story with his hands and his friends were laughing. “He just don’t know what to do with a pretty girl.”

“Pretty girl?” Ellie laughed meanly and you looked up at her and swallowed the lump suddenly growing in your throat. “You sure of that?”

You leaned forward, away from her arm and stared at the table before looking up at Joel who was pinching the bridge of his nose. “I uh, I’m gonna..” you trailed off, shaking your head before standing up.

You passed Jesse and Dina who were coming in. They watched you and looked across to where Ellie was watching you leave, her arm still slung around your chair.

You tried to ignore the cold, crossing your arms across your chest and heading for home. You wiped at your eyes feeling pathetic that you were actually gonna cry.

“Hey Princess!” You sighed, looking over your shoulder and found Darwin standing a couple of feet away. “You usually never leave a dance until the music stops playing.”

“I don’t feel much like dancin’.” You shrugged, shivering again. He sighed, stepping a little closer and extending his jacket he had in his hand. “It’s fine.”

“Take it, nothing worse than seeing a pretty girl cry. She don’t need to be cold too.” You laughed at his logic, taking his jacket from his outstretched hand. “What’s got you so upset? Thought all your dreams were coming true with how close you two were.”

“She insinuated I wasn’t pretty.” You told him, feeling pathetic. You wiped your tears away again and Darwin rolled his eyes, stepping close enough to pull you into a hug. “It’s stupid, I know.”

“It ain’t stupid. You know you’re the prettiest girl in town. That’s why everyone calls you Princess.” He assured you, a soothing hand rubbing your back. “We all got our talents and ain’t no one as pretty as you.”

“I got other talents.” You muttered petulantly and he laughed.

“I know you do. You’re a dab hand at tracking, make the rest of us look stupid. When fall comes you make a great apple pie. And you ain’t never failed to put a smile on someone’s face no matter how bad their day is.” Darwin told you with a squeeze. You looked up at him and pouted.

“Why can’t I like you?” You asked him and he laughed, tossing his head back. “Ellie would never say all that to me. She’s just mean.”

“I wish you could like me too. But it ain’t that simple telling your heart what to do.” He released you with one arm, wrapping the other around your shoulder to guide you home.

“Ain’t that for sure.” You sighed before looking back to where the music was pouring from the Tipsy Bison. “You wanna dance?”

“You tryna get my hopes up?” He asked with a laugh and you shook your head at him, squaring your shoulders. “Thought you weren’t up for dancin’?”

“I ain’t but she doesn’t get to know she hurt me like that. So we should go back and dance. I still ain’t gonna crawl into your bed tonight but we can be friends, can’t we?” You asked and Darwin could only roll his eyes, turning back towards the bar.

“Maybe a couple of the other girls’ll see you in my arm and start paying me some attention.” You looked almost offended and he shrugged. “Ain’t you using me to make her jealous?”

You were and he was right about it. It shouldn’t hurt that he was getting something out of it too so you only nodded at him, taking his hand and leading into the bar.

He paused you in the doorway and lifted his hands up to cup your cheeks, his thumbs running under your eyes. “Don’t let her know she made you cry.”

You smiled up at him as the door pushed open. Jesse looked between you and Darwin and paused in place, jaw dropped.

“I was just coming to check on you.” Jesse muttered and you shrugged as Darwin dropped his hands from your face.

“We were just getting some air.” You told Jesse, pulling Darwin back into the bar by his hand. “Nothing to see here.”

///

The sounds of the forest were better to quiet your mind than any of the weed Eugene managed to bring into Jackson. You stood with your head tilted back towards the sun, letting the breeze cool you.

You could hear the noise of the others as they travelled through the small settlement behind you, killing off the runners you’d been tracking.

You didn’t much get involved in that. It turned your stomach at best and made you violently ill at worse.

You had a gun on your hip that you only ever shot at unmoving targets, keeping your skills sharp but without causing harm. You had seen enough blood to last you a lifetime.

“Bout ready to get saddled up again, Princess.” Joel told you from a little to your left. You turned your head to look at him, lifting a hand to block the sun rays. “You finished sunbathing?”

“Almost, a bloater travelled through here. Couple days ago at most.” You told Joel and he looked around, watching for what you saw. You didn’t share any of the details with him. You didn’t need to be out of a job.

“Got enough time?” Joel asked and you shook your head. He nodded slowly, watching the forest with you. “We’ll come out this way again tomorrow. Plan an overnight patrol.”

“Sounds good to me.” You agreed lightly, listening to the sounds of everyone else saddling back up from a little behind the tree line.

“So, stable boy, huh?” Joel asked and you rolled your eyes. You looked up at Joel, still shielding your eyes before turning and heading back to your horse. “I’m just asking.”

“Well don’t. Darwin and I are friends. He’s nicer than other people I chose to associate with recently.” You told him, pulling yourself up onto your horse without bothering to look back at him. “Maybe it’s time I find good friends.”

“You got good friends and none of them tried to force themselves on you in a dark alley.” Joel reasoned as he pulled himself up onto his horse.

“He wasn’t gonna force himself on me.” You sighed. “He was a little drunk and thought I just needed convincin’. He never set a hand on me. I’m not that ten year old anymore.”

“I know that. You’re a woman now and you make your own decisions. I just wanna make sure you’re making good ones.” You stared at Joel, eyebrows furrowed.

“Joel, I uh, I ain’t tryin’ to be rude. But you aren’t my father.” You told him, bewildered at the sharing he was doing when usually a grunt was all the acknowledging you’d get. “You got Ellie for that.”

“You ain’t ever turned my advice down before.” He shrugged and you shook your head.

“Thanks to your advice I was cryin’ outside the bar last week. You told me to have patience but Joel, I ain’t ever gonna let someone talk to me like that.” You sighed. He didn’t reply and you didn’t much care, urging your horse on ahead.

You spent some time discussing an early patrol tomorrow with Tommy. He’d need to put together a small team for overnight so that you could track that bloater and get rid of it.

You resolutely ignored Joel who’s eyes you could feel burning into your back and kept a similar distance from Jesse who was just confused for all intents and purposes.

You didn’t bother taking time to explain to any of your friends why you were quietly drawing away from them. You didn’t know how to explain what finally tipped you over the edge was a dig that maybe you weren’t as pretty as you thought you were.

You were embarrassed to admit it had knocked your confidence a little. You had always held your looks close to your heart. You were a little vain, you knew as much. Your mama had been the most beautiful woman you had known. She had told you about being a pageant queen and how she had loved looking pretty.

Jesse wouldn’t understand it. He wasn’t a girl, he didn’t understand that drive to be worried about how you looked. Dina would laugh at you, of that you were sure. She had always laughed at your need to wear clothes that almost bordered on impractical.

You hadn’t minded before. But now you wondered if maybe you were an outsider. You had been friends with Jesse and Dina way before Ellie had come along but Ellie had slotted in seamlessly to the group. It was a kind of heartbreaking thought that once again you were isolated from everyone else.

On your return to Jackson, Darwin was at the stable, welcoming in the patrol men and taking their horses. You hung around for a while, helping Darwin with brushing the horses and settling them in for the night.

"We'll be heading out again tomorrow." You told him, fighting around a yawn. He looked up from where he was brushing Joel's horse and smiled at you. "Ain't you up for a patrol soon?"

The patrol schedule, like most jobs in Jackson, was rotational. For everyday patrols there was a set schedule and groups who would do them all the time. But the long patrols, the overnight, were a town-wide rotation in which every able-bodied adult took part.

Your momma had said something about jury duty the first time it had come up. You never had a chance to ask her what that had meant.

"Yeah sure, think I'll be in for this one." Darwin nodded, finishing up with the horse and dusting his hands off. He gave you a grin and you rolled your eyes at him, already expecting the stupid joke that followed that particular grin. "You wanna share a sleeping bag?"

"I think I'd rather share it with the bloater we're looking for." You scoffed, tossing his bag at him as you left the stable with him. You cast a look in through the other stables as you both left and found Ellie brushing Shimmer.

She looked over her shoulder at the sound of Darwin chattering and you paused when she called our name. When you paused in place Darwin stopped by your side. Ellie stared between you both, eyes narrowing.

"I'll see you at dinner." You told Darwin with a sigh, resting your arms on the half door of the stable. Ellie watched him walk away before turning to you with a raised eyebrow.

"You heading out tomorrow?" Ellie asked and you nodded, resting your chin on your forearms. She fidgeted with the brush in her hands, barely looking up at you. "Joel says it's a bloater. You ever seen one before?"

"Is this an exam, do I need to get so many questions right before you let me leave?" You asked her and she rolled her eyes, throwing the brush into her bag.

"I was just asking, no need to get your panties in a twist." Ellie scoffed and you huffed, standing up straight. "I can't make conversation with you now? Got your little boyfriend and suddenly you're too good for your friends."

"Like you're a friend? The way that you treat me?" You asked with a scoff and Ellie recoiled as if you had shocked her with something she didn't already know. "You cut me down at every single chance you get and call yourself my friend."

"It was a joke, I can't make a joke?" She asked, almost shouting and you shook your head, running a hand through your hair. "You never had a problem with me making a joke before."

"You never called me ugly before." You muttered and she blinked at you. You stared at her for several seconds as she remained unmoving and sighed. "I never realized you were laughing at me, not with me. It hurt a little."

You left her standing in the stable and wondered how she dared to pretend she hadn't noticed that everything she had said to you wasn't a dig in one way or another.

You had clearly been delusional in thinking that there would ever have been a chance that she was interested in you.

///

The thing about early morning patrols was that most people in the usual patrol group kept it quiet until everyone had fully woken up. By everyone, you meant mostly Eugene and yourself.

Unfortunately, Darwin had chosen this morning to be especially chatty and Ellie was telling Joel a bunch of puns from a tattered book. You leaned forward, your forehead against your horse's mane, and tried to tune it all out before you raised your head again.

"Up late, Princess?" Darwin asked and you groaned, lifting a hand to block out the rising sun from your eyes.

“Dreaming of you, Sweetheart.” You told him before digging your heels in and urging your horse up ahead to Eugene who seemed to be distancing himself from the chatter boxes.

“Damn shame we can’t just tape their mouth shut.” Eugene grunted and you laughed at him, rolling your eyes. “That boy of yours could draw a pack of the biters with a whisper.”

“He ain’t mine.” You laughed and Eugene shook his head, pulling down his sunglasses to look at you. “He’s not my type.”

“The other loud mouth is though.” He pointed out and you sighed heavily, reaching out and attempting to swipe his sunglasses.

“Cmon old man, I know you stole my last pair. I just know it.” You accused and he shook his head with a smirk as he batted your hands away.

“You can’t prove it, Princess. You’ll have to keep a look out for your own.” He told you and you sighed. You were approaching the location you had spotted bloater tracks so you sat up straight and reached back to tie your hair up in a ponytail.

Darwin joined your sides the same filthy grin on his face that you knew a comment was coming. “You know what that does to me, baby.”

“You make me want to vomit.” You replied with a sigh, pulling on your horses reigns and hopping down. Eugene followed you while the others waited back.

“Think it might have fallen off a cliff and died and we can just all go home?” Eugene asked and you rolled your eyes. You followed the signs that lead you to your discovery the other day.

Several of the plants had been squashed in the surrounding area. On several of the trees there was residue from the bloater knocking into them. The terrible echolocation skills allowed you to follow their path pretty easily.

“Dumb motherfucker got me wasting a whole day and night on this shit.” Eugene sighed, watching you follow the path of destruction. He went back for your horses and to gather everyone else.

You took your time, watching the signs and clues. At one point the bloater had just wandered in a circle, trampling a ring of destruction. You figured it was probably chasing an animal or something.

When the others caught up you accepted the reigns of your horse off Eugene and hopped up on her back. The group was much quieter as you followed the trail.

You had been right about one thing. The bloater had been a few days ahead of you. By the time the sun was beginning to set you were still over a day behind it. With the slow speed it travelled you would be well able to catch up the following morning and be home before sundown.

With that news the group made way to the nearest outpost in a small farm house. The horses were set up in the barn, Darwin offering to do his duty by settling them all in.

The rest of you trailed into the farmhouse.

Joel lit a fire while everyone set up their space for the night. You and Eugene played rock paper scissors for the sofa and he laughed when you lost, setting your sleeping bag up on the floor.

He then lost to Joel who disputed his claim only for him to offer the sofa to Ellie which made you and Eugene roll your eyes.

You hung a pot over the fire, unpacking a few tins of food. While you waited you dug your fists into the bottom of your back, trying to ease the pain taking residence there.

“I got somethin’ for that!” Eugene called and you only laughed at him. You had no doubt he had an arsenal of ‘stuff’. “You young people shouldn’t be hurting’ like you’re eighty.”

“Youth is wasted on the young.” Joel clapped Eugene on the shoulder in passing.

///

Mostly everyone was sleeping. Eugene was starfished by the fire, his massive form almost blocking the light from it. Ellie was curled up on the sofa, her hand resting down the side, almost touching Joel who was sleeping next to her, still as a corpse. Darwin was closest to where you had set up, almost completely covered by his sleeping bag, only the top of his head peeking out.

You were sat up, turning your gun over in your hand. It was your turn to keep watch and you had sat yourself up on a counter in the kitchen to do so. The floor was open plan so you could still see everyone while keeping an eye on things outside.

The heat of the evening was getting to you and so you took a second to pad outside, wincing at the creak of the screen door. There was a bench on the porch and you lowered yourself into it.

The night was silent, the only sound from the slight rustle of the leaves in the gentle breeze. There was just over half a moon, a natural source of light allowing you to see the trees of the forest.

In times like this it was easy to forget why you were out here. You had never known a life before the outbreak but your momma had told you stories about how she had lived.

You wanted to experience a peagant and see her in all her glory. You wanted a prom and Friday night football games. You wanted to know what it had all been about.

Most of all you wanted your momma. She’d probably be able to comfort you in getting over Ellie. She always was able to calm you down even when the two of you were living through hell.

That was if she was okay with you liking girls. You had never had a chance to tell her about how you felt. She had died well before you had accepted it.

Cancer.

The world ended and zombies took over but cancer was what killed her in the end. Without chemo there was nothing the doctors in Jackson could do.

The people of Jackson had been good to you. You had lived in a boarding house until you were eighteen and then gave you back your momma’s house.

The screen door creaked and you looked up when Darwin stepped out. He didn’t speak and so neither did you, letting him take his place beside you.

“Hard to sleep when we ain’t at home.” He told you after a little while and you nodded in agreement, still watching the forest. “You okay?”

“Just thinkin’ about Momma.” You told him honestly. “I been missin’ her.”

“She’d be real proud of you.” He told you with a cut off laugh. “I remember her. She was real pretty and real nice. Used to help my mom set her hair in rollers on special occasions.”

“She didn’t want beauty to die.” You told him and he nodded. Everyone knew that about her. Some people had thought her vain. But in her eyes it was her culture, her history. Her momma had been the same and even her momma before that.

“As long as you’re alive beauty is sure to be.” Darwin smiled at you and you smiled back, tipping your head to lay on his shoulder. He wrapped an arm around you and together you watched the forest.

It was tipping into Darwin’s watch time before he spoke again, calling your name softly to see if you were awake. You hummed sleepily and he chuckled.

“We could’ve been so easy, you know?” He asked, sighing wistfully. You sat up as if you had been scolded and he reached for your hand in apology. “I know, you don’t like men. But if you did it would be easy.”

“Yeah. I’ve always known, you know?” You asked him, laughing humorlessly. “I didn’t get crushes on boys so I just ignored it. And then I met Ellie.”

“Did you ever even try?” Darwin asked, pulling back to look at you. “Did you just write all men off?”

“I didn’t need to try. I knew.” You didn’t like the accusation in his tone and so you leaned back away from him. He released your hand to run a hand through his hair. “I’ve always known.”

“You can’t know something like that.” You opened your mouth to argue with him and he pressed forward, his hand tangling in your hair and holding you in place. He forced himself on you, kissing you so hard your teeth bruised your lips and you gasped.

His tongue invaded your mouth while his hands pawed at your chest. You struggled to push away from him but he was stronger than you. The only sound was the click of your safety, the gun against his stomach.

He froze, not releasing you entirely but pulling his lips back from yours. “What are you doing?”

“Get your hands off me. Right now.” You warned, your voice shaky. He raised both hands, pulling away slowly from you. “If you ever touch me again I-”

“You won’t use that gun, sweetheart.” Even with his hands raised he was cocky about it and you knew he was right. You didn’t shoot infected never mind living people.

“I won’t have to. Joel is plenty fond of using his.” You warned standing up and walking back towards the screen door. He didn’t follow you inside and you paused inside the door.

Eugene and Joel were unmoved. Ellie had rolled over to face the back of the sofa but she was still. You took a moment to gather yourself, wiping the tears off your face.

Your hands were shaking as you returned to your bed roll, pulling it closer to Joel. You pulled the blanket up over your head and tried not to shake with your sobs, freezing when the creak of the screen door signaled Darwin’s return inside.

///

“You okay there, Princess?” Eugene asked quietly. The other three had pulled ahead, the early morning chatter driving you and him a few meters back. When you didn’t answer Eugene tried again. “Princess, you with me?”

“Huh?” You blinked at him, shaking your head and then looking back to him. “I was in my own world. Sorry.”

“Hope it’s damn better than this one.” He sighed and you huffed a laugh before sighing yourself. Ellie and Joel were chatting up the front. Darwin interjected every once in a while but Ellie seemed to be trying to exclude him.

Your eyes were dry from crying and the headache you had wasn’t aided by the sun that was beating down on top of you. Your stomach turned every time Darwin looked back at you.

You wanted to scream at him to stop looking at you. You wanted to tell Joel and Eugene what he had done to you so that they could leave his body in the woods. You wanted to dig your heels in to your horse and gallop into the woods where no one would ever touch you again.

Instead you clutched the reins so your hand wouldn’t shake and you nudged your horse into speeding up to take the lead before Joel could call you.

You were closer to the bloater, somewhere within an hour of its stumbling steps. It was traveling in a wide arc and with time it would return to Jackson’s area. It made the trip worth it. For everyone but you it seemed.

It took less than fifteen minutes for you to land on the bloaters tail. There was scraps of what counted as flesh on the trees, trampled plants and a lack of nature sounds in the area.

When the horses grew too loud you left them back, tying their reins to the trees. Eugene took the lead with Joel following up on the end of the group. The bloater was easy tracked from here.

Eugene had his shotgun loaded and Joel had his rifle. Ellie was using her pistol but she had a Molotov cocktail to get things started. You held your pistol in your grip and hoped you wouldn’t need it. You couldn’t bring yourself to look at Darwin and ensure he had a loaded gun.

The bloater was trying to navigate the forest and found difficulty in getting past the dense trees. Every couple of feet it stumbled and almost knocked itself over.

It was pathetic to watch but you knew once the first shot was taken it would no longer be this stumbling mess but an evolved killing machine.

Joel lifted a hand and pointed at Ellie to stay. Eugene and him circled around until the bloater was unknowingly surrounded. Darwin took post beside Ellie and you stood back, pistol raised and hands shaking.

With a nod Ellie threw the Molotov which burst at the bloaters feet. The infected screeched and roared when Ellie followed with two shots from her pistol.

Eugene raised his shotgun as you looked around. A shot went off followed by Joel’s rifle and the bloater hit the ground. You were still looking around, following imprints in the ground. There was a second pair of bare feet, much smaller than the bloater. You had missed them.

You turned to warn everyone, all of them gathered by the bloater. Just behind Ellie a stalker approached. You didn’t have time to warn them when two shots sounded. The stalkers body dropped and so did you.

Your knees buckled from under you landing you in the dead leaves and branches on the ground. You had dropped your gun, hands over your ears trying to block out the sound.

Joel was checking over Ellie who had barely moved despite how close your bullets had come to her head. She was staring at the stalker, two bullets lodged in its head.

Darwin got to you first and reached for you but you scrambled away. “Don’t touch me. Don’t fucking touch me.”

You reached for your gun again and pointed it at him catching Joel and Eugene’s attention as Darwin raised his hands in surrender. “Don’t ever touch me again.”

You knew you were sobbing, your hands shaking violently. Joel and Eugene were talking to you and you knew you should listen but you couldn’t. You had shot someone. You had shot someone to save Ellie. An infected, sure. But it had been someone once.

“Hey there, Princess.” Her voice broke the quiet. “I’m gonna take that from you. I ain’t a fan of Darwin either but we can’t shoot him.”

She reached out and hit the safety on your gun before removing it from your shaking hands. You looked from Darwin to her and she shushed you when you tried to speak. “That’s okay, I just don’t wanna muck out the stalls if he’s dead.”

“I shot someone.” You whispered and Ellie shook her head. You could still see the body of the stalker so you nodded. “I did. I killed someone.”

“You saved my life, that’s what you did. You saved me.” Ellie told you and you blinked, focusing on her face. “You did your job and tracked the bloater and then you tracked the stalker. You saved my life, Princess.”

“I should’ve, I couldn’t-”

“Shh, that’s okay. Why don’t we head on home?” Ellie asked, helping you up off the ground. “Get some warm food and a decent bed to make up for last night. You okay to ride?”

“I can share with her.” Darwin reached out and you flinched away into Ellie. “It’s okay, Princess. It’s just me.”

“Don’t let him touch me.” You begged Ellie quietly. “Please don’t let him touch me.”

Ellie kept one arm around you as she guided you to the horses. She was talking to you quietly but all you could see was your shaking hands. The hands of a murderer.

“Time to get on up. You can share with me, okay?” Ellie asked. On autopilot you climbed up onto Shimmer and shifted forward when the press of Ellie warmed against your back.

“You and I are gonna talk when we get home.” Joel muttered in the background and you released a breath. Joel would protect you just like always.

///

You were in your bed. You didn’t know how you had gotten there. You were also in pyjamas. You didn’t remember putting them on. You felt off balance and shaky as you swung your legs over the edge of your bed.

The light behind your curtains told you it was midday but the last thing you remembered was closing in on the bloater with the others. When you staggered to your feet it came back to you slowly.

The stalker. You had shot it. Darwin’s hands reaching for you. Ellie and her calming voice trying to soothe you on the ride back to Jackson.

You opened your bedroom door and listened closely for voices. You and Dina lived together in your mommas old house. It wasn’t so much an offer you had made but a decision Maria had. Housing was better used for families than one single person and so Dina had joined you when her family were gone.

When you reached the living room Ellie was asleep on the sofa which surprised you. She had said something about beds. You could remember that much.

You wiped your eyes tiredly and fought a yawn as you stepped into the living room. She hadn’t changed her clothes or even gone home. Her pack was by the top of the sofa. You nudged one of her legs and her eyes opened slowly.

She sniffled a bit, a hand running over her face. When she blinked and looked up she saw you and rushed to sit up on the sofa. “You’re awake!”

“Just barely. What are you doing here?” You asked, confused. Ellie’s eyes tracked the length of your body and you folded your arms across your chest. Your pajamas weren’t the most attractive attire. “How did I get here?”

“I brought you home.” Ellie explained, patting the space beside her. You took a seat but left more distance than she had intended between you both. “You were sort of out of it for a while.”

“Yeah, that’s happens sometimes.” You muttered and looked down at your hands. “Did you put me to bed?”

“No. That was all Dina. I’ve been down here the whole time, I swear.” You nodded at her words and yawned again. Ellie didn’t say anything and you had nothing to say so you leaned back on the sofa and pulled your legs up under you.

You almost drifted off again when Ellie cleared her throat. You turned your head to look at her but she was staring down at her hands instead of meeting your eyes. “Darwin told us what happened.”

“Did he now?” You asked. Your hands tightened into fists so that they wouldn’t shake and you turned your face away from her to hide your expression. “I’m sure it was very informative.”

“He told us he kissed you.” Ellie sighed and you scoffed, shaking your head. “Yeah, Joel didn’t believe that story. So he asked him again, a little more forceful.”

“Oh.” You weren’t sure what else to say to that. You didn’t like the thought of people getting hurt but Darwin hadn’t cared about hurting you. “Is Joel gonna be in trouble?”

“No. Darwin isn’t going to talk to anyone about what happened.” Ellie assured you and you nodded slowly, your lips pursed. “I’m sorry.”

“There’s nothing to be sorry for. Wasn’t you, was it?” You asked quietly. You fixed your gaze on the wall and picked at the skin around your nails. “Why haven’t you gone home?”

“Because I wanted to make sure that you were okay. And I wanted to apologise because I seen him do it. I saw him kiss you and I turned around and went back to bed.” You continued to stare at the wall and didn’t even try to fight the tears that welled in your eyes. “I didn’t know what it was. I heard arguing and I was just checking on you both. When I looked out you were kissing.”

You tried to fight it. The lump in your throat. Ellie was desperate to explain to you and you knew it wasn’t her fault. She couldn’t have known. But she should’ve known something hadn’t been right.

You sniffed and wiped at your face, flinching away from her hand when she reached for you. You blinked and more tears fell. “You guys were the first. You, Jesse and Dina. I hadn’t even admitted to myself really.”

You sniffed again and wiped under your nose with your sleeve. You probably looked a mess right now but for the first time in your life you couldn’t find it in yourself to care. “I uh- I never told my Momma. I didn’t know how she’d feel, always wanted me to find a husband. Give her grandbabies.”

“I told Darwin that I ignored it. That I always knew but I pushed it down.” Ellie stayed silent as you swallowed past the lump in you throat, wiping your eyes roughly with your sleeves. It took you a couple of seconds to get talking again and Ellie stared at her lap, picking her nails. “I told him it was you that helped me realize it. That helped me be confident enough to come out.”

Ellie opened her mouth but you only shook your head, raising you hand to stop her. Your hand was shaking and you clenched it into a fist letting it drop back down into your lap. “I’ve had people tell me I’m too pretty to be gay. I trusted you all to believe me.”

“So you’re saying this is my fault?” Ellie asked in shock and you sniffed again shaking your head. You scrubbed your hand over your face and swallowed past the recurring lump. “That’s what it fucking sounds like.”

“It’s no one faults but Darwin. He shouldn’t have done what he did but didn’t you question it for a second?” You asked her desperately. “Wasn’t there some part of you that wondered why I would do that with him. A man who has a history of being a little too forceful with his come ons?”

“How the hell was I supposed to know you hadn’t changed your mind? You always flirt with him! You were dancing together and you get dinner!” Ellie was yelling now but you didn’t have it in you to yell back. You were so drained of energy. “The short fucking skirts and tight jeans? Your tits are out most of the damn time.”

Ellie covered her mouth when your head snapped to look at her. Your jaw had dropped and your eyes widened as he words sunk in. “So it’s my fault?”

“No- that’s not what I’m-” Ellie stuttered out a half response and you stared at her. Waiting for something different. Waiting for her to explain it.

“You gave me the confidence to come out. To be myself and dress how I like. To not care about people thinking I’m too pretty to be gay. And everyday since you’ve chipped away at that confidence. You can have it all. Just get out of my house.” You spoke evenly but your voice cracked at the end and you swallowed. “Don’t come back. I don’t care if it’s to see Dina, I don’t care if the house is on fire, I don’t care if the walls of Jackson fall down. Just don’t come back.”

“Princess, please-”

“Get the fuck out! Get out now!” You screamed at her and she raised her hands in defense, heading for the door. You watched her leave before curling up on the sofa and crying yourself back to a fitful sleep.

///

“You okay?” You nodded at Dina as you grabbed your bag off the chair in the kitchen. She held out a mug and you sipped at it between attempts to slip into your boots. “New jeans?”

“Don’t.” You hadn’t talked about any of it you didn’t tell her why you argued with Ellie, why she couldn’t come around anymore. You didn’t give any excuse other than the colder weather for the reason you were covered in layers. “I’ve got an early patrol. I’ll make dinner.”

Dina watched you tie your hair back into a loose ponytail at the base of your skull. It hadn’t been curled since that disastrous patrol. Your face was usually free of make up now and Dina finally understood what you had tried to explain.

The beauty was half of who you were. Your sunny disposition was the other half. Without you putting effort into either halves you were just a shell, pushing through each day.

“I’m off today. I can make dinner. We can have some people over. Jesse, maybe Joel and Ellie?” Dina offered and you looked up from your mug, eyes narrowed. “Or not Ellie?”

“I don’t want her in the house, Dina.” You warned her, checking your gun was loaded before tucking it into the holster by your hip. “It’s non-negotiable.”

“If you would just tell me why I could help.” Dina insisted. She stopped in front of you and reached for your arms. You flinched away from her. “You went on patrol and you came back different. Eugene says you shot a stalker and it shook you? Why is Ellie the bad guy?”

“God, Dina! No one is the bad guy, okay?” You snapped, pulling away from her further, taking steps backwards. “It was time I got my priorities in order.”

Dina couldn’t reply before you turned on your heel and left the house, the door slamming behind you. She sighed and watched out the window as you headed for the stables.

Eugene was waiting for you when you arrived, tossing a pair of sunglasses at you. You almost fumbled, catching them at the last second. “Time you stop complaining, ain’t it?”

“Where’d you find ‘em?” You asked, sliding them on against the sunshine. You grinned and Eugene and he smiled back, leading you toward the two prepared horses.

“I didn’t. Someone passed them along for you.” Your grin dropped. You knew what that was code for. You busted a boot a week ago, a new pair waited on the porch in the days that followed. Now there was sunglasses while you were heading out on patrol.

“She should mind her own business.” You didn’t take the sunglasses off though. You needed them and they were a rarity these days. You pulled yourself up onto your horse, patting Henry on his neck as you headed for the gates.

“Think she feels bad. Don’t know why, ain’t her fault. Ain’t anyones fault. Accidents happen on a patrol, you shot the stalker. Everyone survived.” Eugene muttered waving the guards of the gate off. You nodded at Jesse when he shouted his goodbye.

“It’s a more personal issue.” You explained and Eugene nodded. You didn’t elaborate further and let him draw his own conclusions.

The patrol went easy, it was more a chance to enjoy the sun while riding through the forest. At the last outpost Eugene pulled his horse to a stop and you copied him, lifting your sunglasses to watch him.

“I told them we’d be late back. That we’d have a stop to make.” He offered you a grin and you took him up on that grin, turning your horse to where you knew he wanted to go.

///

You tossed yourself down on the sofa hand extended towards Eugene. He only laughed at you but he did in fact hand over the joint. You inhaled deeply from it and coughed a little.

“Doing God’s work, you know that?” You asked him with a sigh, tilting your head back to look at the ceiling above you.

“Feel like if anyone could do with some relaxin’ then it’d be you.” Eugene sat back on a stool, his own joint between his lips. “Now tell me what’s going on in that pretty little head, Princess.”

“It’s fucking stupid.” You sighed before inhaling again. You counted the cracks in the ceilings before throwing your arm over your eyes. “Darwin crossed a line. A big line.”

“Explained Joel near breaking his nose.” Eugene replied. You hadn’t seen Darwin in the month or so since that patrol but the rumors had reached you that he had returned with a bloody and bruised nose. “He hurt you?”

“He kissed me. Tried to prove some point that I didn’t like men cause I hadn’t tried them.” You explained and Eugene scoffed.

“I ain’t tried men and I sure as shit know I don’t like ‘em. Why would anyone want a man when there’s women?” Eugene asked. You couldn’t help but laugh at him, nodding in agreement. You inhaled again from the joint and lifted your arm to look at Eugene.

“Ellie, well she, I mean. You know how I felt about her, right?” You asked and Eugene only rolled his eyes releasing a puff of smoke. “I mean everyone knew how I felt. I loved her, I think.”

“Yeah, you’d have to be blind not to see it. That past tense is throwing me off though.” Eugene admitted. “What’s caused that?”

“Well she, I mean she saw it right? And she just thought I was kissin’ him. But she knew. Knew I didn’t like men. But she just went back to sleep. Now I ain’t blamin’ her. I ain’t. But why would she do that?” You asked Eugene. “I was just sitting there and he was holding me so I couldn’t pull away. She didn’t even try.”

“Sounds a lot like blame to me.” Eugene huffed and you frowned at him. “Probably sounded like it to Ellie too.”

“I’m not blaming her. I’m blaming Darwin. He’s the one who did it, he’s the one who hurt me.” You argued. “But she didn’t even second guess it.”

“You’re embarrassed. You never let Ellie see you anywhere less than perfect. Suddenly she sees you at the lowest you’ve ever been and you can’t cope with the embarrassment of that.” Eugene ran his fingers through his beard.

“Where in the fuck did that come from?” You asked in shock, sitting up on the couch. “You got a psychology degree or some shit?”

“I got life experience.” He rolled his eyes like it was obvious. “You can’t blame Ellie for Darwin’s actions.”

“I can blame her for her reaction. She said it was my fault, that I led him on. The way I acted and the way I dressed. Like I was asking for it.” You told him with a huff, inhaling one last time. “I shouldn’t have to dress a certain way to be safe.”

“No. You shouldn’t. But we also shouldn’t be stuck on this doomed rock fighting fucking monsters. Things aren’t always as they should be.” He sighed and you pouted at him. “Wearing the clothes you do makes you a target. Now it shouldn’t but it does. Being nice to Darwin though, that’s not leading him on. You were just tryna be his friend.”

“So now I have to dress like this all my life so men don’t think they got a right to me? I gotta forget what my momma thought me? Stop being pretty?” You asked and Eugene shrugged. “I don’t want to do that.”

“You already did. You don’t do your hair or makeup anymore. You’re wearing baggy clothes now.” Eugene pointed out and you sighed. He wasn’t wrong. “The thing is though. You’re still pretty. You’re beauty wasn’t cause a some powder or some curls. Your beauty comes from being the sweet girl you are.”

“You’re a sap.”

“Blame the weed.”

///

“I’ve got a present.” You could still feel the effects of the joint, partly responsible for your good mood when you stepped inside. You kicked off your boots and dropped your bag, passing the living room and heading for the kitchen only to pause and take two steps back.

Ellie was sitting on your sofa. Alone.

“Where’s Dina?” You asked quietly and Ellie shrugged, her lips pursed. “Thought I told you not to come around no more.”

“Dina said you changed your mind. To wait for you to get home so we could talk.” Ellie pushed herself up off the sofa. "But I'm guessing that's not true because it's not the kind of conversation to be had while high."

"Obviously it's not true. Didn't realize I'm not allowed to smoke. Guess I can't be pretty or fun anymore." You scoffed, shaking your head. "For someone who doesn't want to date me, you sure have a lot of expectations."

"I didn't say you couldn't be fun. I shouldn't have said what I said. I was wrong for that." Ellie sighed. "But I never said I didn't want to date you."

"Ellie, it might have taken me a while but I'm not an idiot. I get all dressed up so you'll look at me. I curl my hair hoping you'd run your fingers through it. I wear lipstick hoping I'll smudge it against your lips. I loved you and you never even looked at me twice." You sighed and stepped closer to Ellie. "You made me doubt my worth."

"Why would I need to look twice?" Ellie asked, a disbelieving laugh on her lips. She stepped closer to you, tilting her head and looking you over from head to toe. "I never looked away the first time."

"Oh."

Oh.

You swallowed nervously when she stepped closer, her hand landing on your hip softly to pull you the final step closer. You looked down at her hand and back up to her eyes. She was watching you, watching your reaction.

"I was trying to be better. Men look at you like they own you. People treat your beauty like it's theirs to take. I wanted to be better." She explained, barely a whisper. "I wanted you to know I liked you despite how tight your jeans were and how short your skirts were."

"How noble of you." You tried for sarcasm but it fell flat. "You could've just explained."

"I could've. Every time I tried I just sounded like an asshole." She shrugged and you swallowed, your mouth and throat dry. She was leaning in when you stepped back.

"I'm high. We shouldn't kiss like this." You whispered and Ellie nodded. She lifted a hand, pushing a strand of hair behind your ear with a small smile. "But I do wanna kiss you."

"How about you come find me when you're sober then?" She asked and you nodded, leaning into her hand. "We'll see about smudging some of that lipstick."

///

"Heading out, don't know when I'll be back." You yelled, hopping around to pull your boots on at the front door. You weren't quick enough and Dina leaned against the frame of the living room door, looking you over.

"You look hot," Dina observed and you nodded, fixing your hair in the mirror by the door. "Where are you headed?"

"Momma wouldn't ask me that, bless her soul." You huffed a laugh and swung your bag over your shoulder. "You and Jesse have manners while I'm gone, ya hear me?"

"You didn't answer the question!" Dina yelled and you opened the door, turning to look at her over your shoulder. "Where're you going?"

"Out, don't wait up, Mom." You called hurrying down the porch steps and getting away from her invasive questions. She knew where you were going. She had to. Ellie had been allowed back into the house and the pair of you were dancing around each other all week.

Ellie opened the garage door the second you knocked and you smiled brightly at her as you passed by her to get inside. You had been in Ellie's garage more times than you could count but you had never seen it so tidy.

"You clean up just for me?" You asked her as you dropped your bag by the end of her sofa. She rolled her eyes and shut the door but you could see the blush on her cheeks. She was embarrassed and it was oddly sweet.

"You dress up just for me?" Ellie asked, eyebrows raised. You on the other hand were prepared for her question. You nodded and held your arms out, a slow twirl just for her. You had no doubt she was getting the best view. "Damn, Princess.”

“It’s nice to have you appreciating me for once.” You hummed, finishing your twirl and leaning back against the arm of her sofa. “Make sure you get a good look.”

“For once?” She asked as she stepped away from the door and towards you. You only pursed your lips to hide your smile. “I once fell off Shimmer cause I was too busy staring at your ass.”

“You said your stirrup snapped!” You laughed in delight. She only rolled her eyes as she stepped closer. You spread your legs so that she could stand between them. “Tell me more.”

“That black eye I had two months back?” She asked and you nodded. “The door of the diner swung back and hit me because you had that tied off blouse on.”

“You liked that one?” You asked with a grin and she nodded, her hand coming to rest on the bare skin on your waist between your shorts and your top. “What about this one?”

It was a ribbed camisole that you had tucked up to leave your navel on display. Ellie took care to run her thumb under the fabric of it and let her hand slide from your waist across your stomach. She tapped her finger on the button of your shorts.

“Embroider these yourself?” She asked and you nodded in excitement, your fingers tracing down over the star embroidery.

“My momma thought me. And I have this book that helps with anything she didn’t get to teach me. It’s actually not so bad. And it’s a real constellation its-”

“Cassiopeia.” Ellie finished for you, her fingers following your path and tracing the familiar constellation. “I had a bit of a space thing for a while. Wanted to be an astronaut.”

“My momma found this Barbie doll for me once. It was Astronaut Barbie. She had this pink suit and she was so pretty and I knew if she was pretty and smart then I could be too.” Your voice grew quiet at the end and Ellie laughed, her crooked finger lifting your chin.

“That’s real cute, baby.” She teased and you chewed on your bottom lip. “So now you’re the prettiest girl in Jackson and the best damn tracker I’ve ever seen.”

“Prettiest girl?” You asked, an eyebrow raised. Ellie rolled her eyes and instead of giving in to you fishing for compliments she leaned in and kissed you.

It was only a sweet press of lips, innocent compared to what you had expected. Ellie pulled away only to press a trail of kisses down to your jaw and then followed the bone up to your ear.

“Now we can do one of two things.” She whispered, her teeth nipping at your ear lobe. “We can put on a movie, cuddle under a blanket and make out.”

“What’s my other option?” You asked, your breath hitching as she kissed down the side of your neck. Still just innocent pressed of her lips.

“I take off these pretty little shorts and I fuck you dumb.” Your whole body trembled as she spoke against your collar bone. “Oh you like that idea.”

///

“Please, please.” You’re sobbing at this point, your fingers tangled in Ellie’s hair. She’s been eating you out to the point of two orgasms and she’s only just pushing a finger into you now. “Ellie, please.”

“Please what?” Ellie asks innocently. You look down at her, releasing your death grip of her hair and she looks up at you. Her chin is shiny with you and she licks her lips as you watch. Your head thumps back against her pillows. “Use your words, I haven’t fucked you yet. You can’t be this dumb just from my finger and tongue.”

“Fuck me.” You moaned as she added a second finger. “Need you to fuck me.”

Ellie, never being one to be unprepared, had surprised you. While getting undressed you had found Ellie wearing a strap and it had sped up the whole process of getting clothes off.

“Hmm, I don’t know if you’re ready for my cock, baby.” She hums and you groan, your pussy tightening around her fingers. “Maybe another finger?”

“Ellie, babe, your cock, please. Please.” You were crying actual tears and begging without shame for her. You had wanted it in your since you had found it on her and you were so frustrated you had resorted to tears.

“Oh there’s my big dumb baby.” Ellie teased, withdrawing her fingers. You looked down at her and she was spreading your slick over the head of her cock. “Awh, is my baby crying? Your pussy so needy for my cock that it brought you to tears, huh?”

You could only nod, sniffling. She took your chin between her thumb and finger and tilted your head down so you could watch her cock press into you. “Fucking yes!”

“That feel good?” Ellie asked and you sobbed, pushing down against her slow place. “You gonna fuck yourself on my dick baby? Gonna do all the work?”

“Please. I can. I can ride you.” You offered but Ellie only shook her head.

“Not the first time. I’m gonna fuck you just like this for the first time. Then I’m gonna fuck you in every position you can contort this pretty body into. It’s gonna be a long night baby.” Ellie warned and your eyes rolled back in your head as your third orgasm overtook you.

///

Ellie was lying on her back, one arm behind her head and the other wrapped around you where you lay on her shoulder. She was tracing patterns against your spine and you were trying to guess the patterns but your brain was floating way above your body.

“I like when you dress up. I like how confident you are and how bright you smile when I like what you’re wearing.” Ellie told you quietly. “But like this? Sleepy and a mess. Well I just know I fell in love with that version of you, the morning we argued.”

“Fell in love?” You asked her, your thoughts coming back down to earth. You looked up at her, a slight tilt of your head but she didn’t look at you. “You’re in love with me?”

“How couldn’t I be, baby? A sweet little dumb baby in bed and smart, gorgeous woman who’s a force unto her own out on the streets of Jackson. You don’t make it hard to love you.” She promised, pushing you hair behind your ear.

“You already know I love you too. Even if you do bully me in bed.” You giggled and she grinned at you. “It’s kind of hot actually.”

“Hmm, we’ll explore that another time, get some sleep.” She whispered, ducking down to kiss your forehead. “I’ll be here when you wake up.”

#ellie williams x afab reader #Ellie Williams x you #Ellie Williams x reader #Ellie Williams #lesbian reader #the last of us #tlou Ellie #Joel miller #dina tlou #Jesse tlou

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mermaidgirl30 · 8 months ago

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✨Coffee Shop Date✨

Joel Miller x fem! reader

Series Masterlist Part 1 Part 2

A/N: They are so soft together, I can’t stand it 😭🥰 Thank you to @mountainsandmayhem for beta reading and screaming about them with me 🩷 Enjoy, lovelies!

Chapter Summary: Joel takes you on a coffee date. The first official date after falling apart and finding each other again years later.

Rating: 18+

Word Count: 4.3k

Tags: Joel takes you on a cute coffee date, flirting, pining, so much flirting, slight angst, making up, talking about feelings and the past, falling in love, switching POVs

Dividers by @saradika-graphics and @firefly-graphics

Joel stands in the fluorescent lights of his bathroom mirror, smoothing the gel with his thick fingers as he nervously taps his foot against the simple white tile. He can’t stop thinking about the moment he laid eyes on you at the lake, the sun rays making you look like an absolute angel as your smile glowed brightly all around him.

His breath hitched and his heart pounded wildly against his broad chest as you slowly appeared in front of him, standing just inches from his fingertips, enough to reach out and brush against your delicate skin. He knew the moment he saw you again that it was fate, destiny. His lost, wilting rose petal was now blossoming and colorful, and that made him sigh and draw a lazy smile on the edges of his mouth. He found you again, and this time he wouldn’t let you go. Not ever.

He lets out a long sigh and heads for the door, grabbing the keys to his Chevy as he feels the nerves starting to shake through his entire body. He needs to calm down, but he can’t because he’s picking you up. The first official date again since the breakup that happened so long ago. He wouldn’t fuck it up this time, he just wouldn’t.

By the time he pulls up to the front of your quaint little house and scuffs his leather boots against the wooden porch, he’s nervous as hell. Sweat pools down underneath the collar of his green button-up flannel, and his mouth feels like dried up sandpaper.

Before he knocks on your white painted door, he glances to his left and stops dead in his tracks. He sees the bright red blooms of vivid roses glowing like glitter in the midafternoon Texas sun rays. He sees you in them, your perfect blossoms blooming like they’d never been wilted or withered before.

A warm smile beams on his curled up lips as he basks in the presence of your lush rose garden. He always knew you’d bloom again.

He softly knocks three times on your door, nervously shifting his weight on the balls of his feet until he sees the silhouette of your shadow behind the half drawn blinds. When you open the door his breath gets caught in his throat and his eyes grow wide, his thick fingers curling against the pockets of his denim jeans. He thinks you look like the prettiest flower he’s ever laid eyes on.

You stand there blushing, the crimson of your cheeks blending in with the glossy pink lip gloss that’s painted across your full lips. Your eyes are dazzling, glittering diamonds that nearly knock him down to his knees. Your violet colored summer dress grazes the tops of your thighs, and your tan skin glows as bright as your gorgeous, flashy smile.

He’s almost lost for words watching you smile bashfully up at him, just like you did the first time you met him at Lowe’s in the flower department. You always were a shy thing, but sweet as cherry pie. His favorite girl.

“Hi,” you say quietly, blinking up at him with the flutter of your long eyelashes as your painted nails dig into the fabric of your soft dress.

“Hi, sweetheart. You look very… pretty,” he smiles warmly down at you as he watches you giggle.

“You think so?”

“Yeah, beautiful,” he breathes.

You blush even more, twisting your hips slightly as the fabric of your skirt blows gently in the breeze. He could get used to seeing this, seeing you all dolled up and eagerly waiting to be picked up for a date with him. He missed this, missed you.

“You ready to go?”

“Mhm,” you hum.

“Alright then. Coffee’s waitin’,” he laughs as he leads you to the passenger door, his hand resting on the small of your back as he opens the door and helps you inside, gently closing it as he makes his way to the driver's seat.

Once he’s buckled up and has the engine running he nods your way and puts the truck in drive, nervously running his thick fingers over the steering wheel before he drives off into the busy streets of Austin. He was more than ready for this date, ready to have you again.

It feels so weird to be in his truck again. In the passenger seat smelling his woodsy cologne, listening to his soft rock music playing over the speakers, watching him grip the leather steering wheel tightly with one hand as his other hovers outside the rolled down window. It feels… nice, like this is where you were meant to be. Back with Joel.

You watch his greying curls blow in the wind, fixate on his honey flecked eyes that flicker over to you every few seconds with a big crooked grin on his face. He looks so different yet somehow the same as you remember. He seems warmer, kinder, more receptive. And maybe time does change all things, but not the way you feel about him.

Before you know it, he’s pulling up to Houndstooth Coffee, your favorite coffee shop in Austin. When you make your way out of the truck and into the coffee shop, the atmosphere is buzzing with soft music playing over the speakers. Potted plants dangle in the large glass windows, sturdy stained tables sit lined against the open room, nature paintings hang neatly across every corner of the tan walls. You always liked the vibes in here. It’s quiet, relaxing, a great place to come and unwind. What made it even better was this was Joel’s favorite coffee shop, too.

“You wanna go grab a table, and I can go get us some coffee?” he asks as he looks over his shoulder at you.

“Sure, I can do that.”

“Perfect. And let me guess, still a caramel macchiato kinda girl? Extra sugar, heavy on the cream?” He winks at you, and you feel the heat warm your cheeks as you smile up at him.

“Still remember my favorite drink, huh?” you ask curiously as you cross your arms over your summer dress.

“‘Course I do. Don’t know anyone else that has as big of a sweet tooth as you do, darlin’. Kinda hard to forget.”

You push him playfully in the shoulder, and he barely moves an inch. “Yeah, says the guy that drinks his coffee black,” you tease. “You won’t even try mine.”

He chuckles and shakes his head at you, his slicked back curls bouncing against the gel. “It’s too sweet for me, and you know it.”

“Yeah, yeah. Guess so,” you say with a small huff and the pop of your hip.

“Hey,” he says as he steps forward and cups your chin, slowly releasing his fingers as he speaks low. “I don’t need sweetener. I’ve got you here, and you’re sweeter than any of them. My little shot of espresso filled with sugar.”

Your jaw drops open, eyelashes batting up at him as your cheeks burn bright red. He’s going to paint you completely crimson if he’s not careful, but you’ll allow it. You had a lot of lost time to make up for, and he could flirt with you as much as he wanted to.

You nod your head to the short line in front of the cash register, and he smiles back at you. “Be back in a minute.”

You find a quiet place in the far corner, a little booth that has potted pink tulips and a smooth wooden table top. You watch him order the coffees, giving the worker his name and debit card before he patiently waits to the side for the coffees to be made.

He flicks his eyes over at you every few seconds, a small crooked smile spread wide across his mouth. You have to look away to stop the butterflies flitting through your stomach. You can’t believe you’re here again with Joel, your past flame, but this time feels different. A good different.

When they finally get finished making your drinks, Joel comes over to the booth and sits opposite you. He gives a small grunt when he sits and hands you your iced coffee. “Here ya go, darlin’. One caramel macchiato for the pretty lady.”

You giggle and reach for the clear cup full of sugary goodness. “Thanks, Joel,” you smile. When you grab the cup your fingers brush against his, and there’s a moment where sparks shoot through your fingertips, swirling feelings that were always buried deep inside your body.

He smiles nervously at you, running a hand straight back through his tousled curls. His honey eyes shine against the sunlight that’s beaming through the glass window, and you can’t stop the blushing that’s permanent on your cheeks when you’re around him.

Joel takes a sip of his coffee, keeping those soft eyes on you as you take a sip of yours. Your dress suddenly feels too tight, and the insides of your thighs feel sticky and warm from nerves. Maybe the iced coffee will help cool you off, but you doubt it will. Of course it won’t because Joel Miller is sitting across from you, looking extremely handsome in his flannel shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. He always was a flannel guy, and that’s why you own so many flannels. Because they remind you of him.

You casually sip from your coffee, curling your fingertips over your violet material, trying to calm yourself down from being in the presence of Joel. He still had you just as frazzled as when you locked eyes with him at the lake. You really were still crazy about him.

“It’s kinda crazy bein’ back here with you. It feels…”

“Right,” you finish for him.

He chuckles, nodding his head as he takes another sip from the black coffee. “Yeah, it does feel right.”

You tap your thumb nervously on the plastic coffee cup and take a breath before you dive into any personal matters. “How’s Sarah doing?”

“She’s good, really good. She just graduated this spring. Took a job at the heart hospital in Austin,” he says proudly, his brown eyes glistening with fondness.

“So she did go with nursing school after all. Joel, you must be so proud!” you squeak excitedly.

He smiles and nods his head, the look of admiration filling his face. “That I am. Can’t believe my baby girl is all grown up. Gonna miss her,” he sighs with sadness ghosting over his doe eyes.

“Hey, she’s always going to be your little girl. Don’t forget that. And she chose to stay in Austin? That’s so great, Joel. See, she didn’t leave after all. I knew she wouldn’t.”

“Oh, you knew she wouldn’t?” he asks with one eyebrow raised high, making the wrinkles across his forehead crease into fine lines.

“I had my suspicions she’d stay,” you wink. He shakes his head and stares at you for just a second, assessing your soft features before continuing.

“So, what about you? Are you still at the same company you were? That one corporate job you were at.”

You shake your head slowly, playing absentmindedly with the straw that you bend back and forth. “No. Actually, I work for the city now.”

“Oh?” he asks all intrigued and interested. “Doin’ what?”

“I’m working for an environmental engineering company that operates off the lakes in Texas. I’m helping them keep track of the bluegill and catfish populations. You know, helping both the water quality and fish populations,” you say fondly.

He stares at you wide-eyed, a big smile curling over the edges of his lips. “Well I’ll be damned. That’s what you always wanted to do. You did it, you actually did it.”

You laugh and push your hair behind your shoulder. “Yeah, finally. I love it so much, you have no idea how much happier I am there.”

He chuckles and rests a hand on the table, looking at you with big brown eyes adoringly. “I’m so proud of you, sweetheart. I always believed in you. I knew that one day you’d get it. They’re so lucky to have you.”

Your eyes fog over with held back tears while you grip tightly to your cold iced coffee. He told you he’s proud of you. Joel is proud of you. That sentence alone makes you weak in the knees. Joel was always so supportive, and that’s one thing you adored about him.

“You’re… proud of me?” you ask breathlessly.

“Mhm. So proud,” he purrs.

He holds your gaze while tension buzzes around the room. There’s no other customers at the moment, no clattering coffee makers echoing around the room, there’s just silence. There’s only you and Joel. Two bodies locked in a heated stare, chests rising and falling in sync, and nervous breaths sharing the same little area.

The intense moment breaks when you nervously push a lock of hair behind your ear and thank him for the kind words. “What about you? What have you been up to lately?” you ask, flitting your eyes back up to his.

“Oh, the usual. Me and Tommy started up a new contracting gig. Been busy runnin’ the company and sometimes workin’ on custom pieces.”

“You still like to build things?”

“‘Course, darlin’. Actually, I started buildin’ custom guitars a while ago. Been keepin’ me busy, but I really enjoy it,” he says with a deep chuckle reverberating off his chest.

“Guitars, huh? You always did love playing. Bet they’re beautiful,” you gush, leaning your elbow on the wooden table with your chin resting on your knuckles, looking dreamily at the man with honey glazed eyes.

“Maybe I could show you them sometime? Think you’ll love ‘em. Might have one with your name on it.” Hope fills his voice, and his eyes light up with sparks burning like amber coals.

Did he make you a custom guitar? No. He wouldn’t have. But maybe…. Oh, he did.

“I’d love to,” you smile, watching the light shine brightly through his beautiful brown eyes.

“Okay then, it’s a date,” he beams.

The tinge of crimson is back on your cheeks, and your face physically hurts from smiling so much in one sitting. This is where you were supposed to end up again. Back at your favorite coffee shop with your favorite person who introduced you to this place.

After a few seconds of silent stares and warm smiles, Joel’s face grows serious as his brows knit tightly together. “Listen, I need to apologize.”

“Joel,” you say harshly, trying to stop him from what he’s about to say.

“No, jus’ hear me out. I’m so fuckin’ sorry for how things ended. I didn’t mean… I wish I could’ve jus’…”

You hold out a hand to stop him. “No, Joel. Don’t put the blame on yourself. It’s not your fault. It’s…”

“Please,” he pleads, looking at you with glistening eyes that beg for you to listen. Just looking at them alone makes you want to crawl across the table and sink all your weight into him. “I need to get this out. Please, jus’ let me do this,” he begs.

“Okay,” you whisper, clutching the edge of your soft dress as you wait with bated breath.

“I made some very poor choices over the years. I was selfish, wreckless, so fuckin’ stupid. I didn’t mean to put all my problems on you. That wasn’t fair to you. And all those stupid fights that meant absolutely nothin’ were my fault.”

You catch his wrist and curl your fingers around his tanned skin, looking up at him with furrowed brows and parted lips. “Don’t you dare put all the blame on yourself. It was both of our faults. I was in a toxic job, and I brought that stress home to you so many times. I blew up in your face night after night from all that weight I was keeping on my shoulders. It was me who started half the fights. I shouldn’t have done that. I should’ve left that job long ago when it was affecting our relationship.”

He clenches his jaw and shakes his head at you. “No, sweetheart. Don’t even try to apologize. I was goin’ through so much shit with Tommy and Maria, and then there was Sarah I was tryin’ to keep a grasp on, and then all that shit with the company goin’ down and all the whiskey I was drinkin’. I was in the wrong mindset. I should’ve never hurt you the way I did.”

He looks like a wounded puppy dog that just lost his family the way he’s looking at you now. His teary doe eyes shooting holes through your beating heart, and you have to keep yourself glued to the seat you’re in. The temptation to crawl into his lap and give him a big hug right now is so very overwhelming.

He always loved when you got in his personal space and threw your arms around him when he was sad. It was his favorite way to be soothed. The way you’d run your fingers through his tousled curls and whisper sweet, calming words into the shell of his ear. He may be a strong man, but he was always so weak for you especially when you were his favorite person that could fix all the broken pieces and mend him back together.

You cling harder to his wrist, but he doesn’t even try to pull away. He just stares with watering eyes while his lips form a tight line. It breaks your heart seeing him like this. “I was the one that told you to leave, Joel…. That rainy night in February when I threw the keys in your face. I didn’t mean to. I was just so… mad. I shouldn’t have done that. I regret it. I was a mess, we were a mess. But I feel like I was the one that ruined it. And then… then…” You can’t even finish your sentence without tears falling down your cheek. You’re embarrassing yourself in front of Joel, in front of the entire coffee shop. You wish you weren’t so emotional about all of this.

“Oh, sweetheart. No. Don’t do that, it’s not your fault,” he coos softly, reaching a hand up to catch your falling tears while his calloused fingers linger on your delicate skin. His eyes are so soft like golden retriever eyes all wide and gentle. You want to just slip into them and sink forever.

“I should’ve never ran out that door, should’ve come right back. I wanted to. God, I wanted to. Maybe my life would’ve looked different if I did. But I was a coward. I jus’ couldn’t get myself to face you. So I decided to leave you alone. And then almost a couple years after that I met Tess.”

The name Tess makes you cower back in your seat, his large hand falling back to the table as it leaves your weepy face. Tess. The other woman he fell in love with.

“I’m not gonna tell you it was all rainbows and butterflies with her ‘cause it wasn’t. But there was a time I did love her, too.”

“Oh. Mhm,” you hum, looking down at your feet scuffing against the clean floor, trying your best not to cry again.

“Look, I’m not tellin’ you this to hurt you. I’m doin’ my best to explain jus’ what all went on. That day we moved to the neighborhood, I had no idea you were livin’ right across the street. If I knew, I don't think I would’ve… I wouldn’t have bought it,” he sighs as he takes a deep breath.

You can’t look at him, can’t make yourself even speak because you know you’ll be a puddle on the ground if you even try, so you just let him continue while you curl your toes underneath you. “When I saw you that first day when I was movin’ furniture out of the movin’ van, I was wrecked. I even dropped a vase when I saw you. Glass went all over the kitchen tile. Tess thought I had a stroke or somethin’, but it was just seein’ you again after all those years that killed me.”

You purse your lips and nod, remembering all too well how you dropped the glass of milk in your kitchen when you saw the two of them together. And it hurt, it still hurts to think about. You guess that wound never fully healed after all.

“I felt so awful and guilty about everything. And it was so fuckin’ hard to watch you day after day. Walking to your mailbox, leaving your house, walking in your kitchen at dinner time when your window was wide open. I jus’… there wasn’t a day that went by that I didn’t want to walk over and sweep you up in my arms. God, I really wanted to every single day. But then there was Tess. And I made a promise to her that I swore I’d keep.”

You feel a tear fall like rain down your cheek when you hear those words, but Joel’s right there to pick up the pieces. He reaches his arm out and places his large palm over your hand, making you look up from under your soaked lashes.

“Do you remember that day I helped you up off the ground in front of your mailbox?”

“Yeah, how could I forget,” you whisper with a quiet sniffle.

“After you walked back inside, I somehow ended up on your front porch. I stood there for over ten minutes jus’ waitin’ to knock. I wanted to. I knew you were cryin’, I knew I was the reason why. I jus’ wanted to make the pain go away, but I realized I couldn’t ‘cause I made a promise to Tess. So even though that killed me, I walked away. I didn’t knock. I couldn’t. Because if I did, I never would’ve been able to let you go…”

Your eyes prick with fresh tears, and you tremble out some scattered words. “No, I understand. You’re a man of your word. You loved Tess. I couldn’t fault you for that. And I was so selfish to want you all to myself again, but I realized that couldn’t happen because she was yours,” you choke out, feeling the weight of the world press deep into your chest.

“I loved her, but I also realized I never stopped loving you, too. I should’ve realized sooner that it was never supposed to be her, it was supposed to be you.”

Your mouth drops open and your heart thunders in your chest. “What did you just say?” you gasp.

“It was always you, sweetheart. It jus’ took some time and healing to realize you were it for me. There was no one else. There still isn’t anyone else. It’s jus’ you…”

“I… Joel…” you mutter mindlessly.

Before you know what’s happening, Joel slides out of the booth and pulls you to a standing position. His deep chocolate eyes gaze longingly into your eyes, and the words are off his tongue before you can digest them. “I still love you.”

He pulls you into his broad chest, and his calloused hands connect with the sides of your face. His lips meet yours and suddenly the world fades away in the background. There’s no more outside voices, no more sideways glances, no more anything. There’s just Joel’s lips on yours, burning through you like wildfire.

You part your lips, allowing him to slot his tongue in, tasting that strong black coffee taste that you’ve always loved. You loved it because it was Joel’s signature taste, his scent, his essence. And you realize now you love him. God, you never stopped loving him. He’s the one, he’s always been the one.

He breaks away from the kiss, but you stay clinging to his flannel while his calloused thumbs trace light circles over your cheekbones. “God, I missed you,” he breathes, resting his forehead on yours while his soft brown eyes melt into yours.

“I missed you too, Joel. So much,” you murmur against the greying scruff of his jaw. “Stay with me…” you whisper against his mouth.

He hooks a strand of hair behind your ear and traces his thumb gently over the shell of your ear. “I’m not goin’ anywhere this time, sweetheart. This time I’m gonna be the man you’ve always deserved. We’re gonna take it slow and we’re gonna do it right. I’m never hurting you again, do you understand?” he asks with serious brown eyes and knit together eyebrows.

“I understand, Joel. This time we’ll make it work. We have to, I have to. I don’t ever want to lose you again,” you whine as you fall into his chest, his large arms enveloping you in a warm embrace.

“And you won’t lose me. Not this time. Not ever. You’re mine, baby girl.”

You smile into his chest and breathe in his mahogany cologne you’re so familiar with. “Joel?” you ask, your voice getting cut off from your face being buried in Joel’s flannel.

He cups your chin and pulls your face up to his slowly. “Hmm? What is it, pretty girl?”

“You’re still my infinity, aren’t you?”

He chuckles softly and nods his head. “Sure am, sweetheart. Forever and ever…”

You fall back together, lips melding into one, bodies wrapped around each other. It took falling apart and healing to make it back to him, to the love of your life. You may not know what’ll happen tomorrow, but at least you know Joel will still be there holding your hand through it all.

This was exactly where you were meant to end up. You and Joel were for forever. Like he said, infinite.

“I love you, Joel Miller. My infinite…”

Tagging those who read the other parts 🩷 @laurrrra @amyispxnk @lotusbxtch @honey-dip-24 @sawymredfox

@orcasoul @laramc-02 @chewie-bars @axshadows @yesjazzywazzylove-blog

@littlevenicebitch69 @persephone-girl @syd-djarin @tammythr @stylesispunk

@morallyinept @thundermartini @solllaris @jessthebaker @vie-is-punk

@hoeruiner @la-vie-est-une-fleur29 @survivingandenduring

#joel miller fanfiction #joel miller x reader #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller #joel miller fic #no outbreak au #joel miller fluff #joel fluff #lots of fluff #joel x female reader #joel miller tlou #tlou fanfiction

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ilsamaki · 3 months ago

Text

Country Gentleman

♰༻⋆｡────Synopsis: Cowboy Gojo spots cowgirl y/n who he doesn't realize is as southern as she is until he see how well she can ride.

♰༻⋆｡────Warnings: Oral (fem receiving), fingering, sex

♰༻⋆｡────Words: 2.9k

♰༻⋆｡────A/N: First post!! Working on two others right now :)))

Jujutsu Kaisen Masterlist

You brushed down your skirt after pulling yourself out of the uber, opening the door and walking into the dimly lit bar in front of you. The warmth inside of the building hit you and you immediately smelt the sweat and alcohol coming off people.

You tried to push past the people in front of you, squeezing your way to the bar. The loud country music filled your ears and the quick changing in the light threw you off, trying to pull yourself a seat out at the bar.

Sitting down, the bartender grabbed your order from you along with some of the people around you. Turning your head, you watched the people on the dance floor doing some traditional square dancing, boots clacking against the floor.

You tapped your foot on the small footrest that was bolted to the bar, humming along to the cheery music you grew up on.

Looking down at your outfit, you felt out of place, wearing a soft denim skirt and tight black tank top. Nothing about you looked country, making you look like the biggest as you sat alone at a small country bar.

Sipping on the drink you received, your eyes grazed the people sitting at the large wrap around bar. Right across from you, you saw a gentleman sitting alone, clothed in a black button up and cowboy hat, staring right back at you.

He sipped on his drink before grinning behind the glass. You watched as he slid out of his seat and walked around the bar. Realizing he was walking your way, you looked away, acting like you never saw him, taking another sip of your drink.

Your leg anxiously bounced up and down as you felt his presence come closer to you. He pulled the empty bar stood next to you out, sitting right next to you and setting his glass down on the bartop.

“Rum and coke?”

His question forced you to look at him, picking at the groves of your glass in your hand. “How’d you know?” You questioned back, curious on what his intentions were.

He smiled and thought for a second before speaking, “Well I wanna say I know my alcohol, but I wouldn’t wanna give off the impression that I’m some sort of serial drinker”

You gave him a soft chuckle, recognizing his sense of humor.

“So let me guess, Captain Morgan?” He questioned again

“I’ll tell you one thing, this serial drinker impression is just getting stronger”

The both of you chuckled before you took another sip of your drink. You still weren’t sure who he was or what his intention was, but he seemed like he was a decent person. He was attractive too, tall, white blonde hair, muscular, pretty eyes, and a really nice smile.

“So, where are you coming from?” He took a sip of his drink, waiting for your response. You looked at you softly, like you were fragile or like he was afraid he would intimidate you.

“Oh, I’m just visiting. I go to school in Chicago and I'm off for a week” You took a deep breath and adjusted yourself in your seat, taking another sip of your drink.

“City girl, huh? I guess you’ve just found yourself quite the vacation spot” He smiled, “What’s your name, hun?”

“Y/n”

“Pretty name for a pretty girl. Well here, if you ever want a little tour of good old Kentucky you can text me” He slid his phone over to you and offered for you to put your number in.

Doing so, you realize you never got his name, “So, what do they call you around here then?”

“Gojo, kind of a big deal you know?” He joked, stretching his shoulders to seem nonchalant.

You laughed at his efforts in making you interested, “Big deal huh?”

“Mhm, ever been to a rodeo? ‘s where they find me, top of the charts”

You nodded at him with the slightest smile, wondering if you should tell him you're not exactly the city girl he expected you to be

“Well I’ll keep that in mind, just incase I ever need to talk to a cowboy”

“Oh, please do” He got up from his chair before saying goodbye, heading out for the night.

Something about him was really intriguing. He was flirty but also extremely polite, didn’t pressure you to hang out with him or have a hookup, he asked for your number in a way that didn’t seem like he was forcing you to talk to him, and he wasn’t trying to get on top of you and take over your space.

For one of the first times ever, you met a man that seemed like he actually cared about who you were, not how you look.

Later that night, while pulling yourself into bed, your phone dinged, a text message from an unknown number.

Unknown: Hey, hon. Offer still stands if you’re interested. If not, totally perfect.

You smiled at your phone, blushing at his interest in you.

Y/n: Might just have to take you up on that offer, cowboy

Gojo: Sounds lovely, city girl. Maybe I’ll see you at the rodeo tomorrow???

Y/n: I suppose I could be there, teach me a thing or two about riding?

Gojo: Horses?

You couldn’t help but be somewhat suggestive, not very many times do you run into a respectful man that's interested in you. It would be silly not to show your interest back.

Y/n: Obviously, what else would I be riding?

Gojo: Forgive me if I’m being dirty, but sounds like you’re flirtin’ there y/n

Y/n: I’m not quite sure what you’re talking about ;)

Gojo: You’re quite the lady, you know that? I’ll see you tomorrow, city girl.

The blushing of your cheeks made your face hot, making you squeal and kick like a little girl. You were more excited to see the look on his face when he realizes you’re barrel racing in the rodeo than anything.

The day of the rodeo was stressful, you weren’t stressed about your time in the race, but more so about if you would make an embarrassment of yourself in front of Gojo. Regardless, you just did what your momma said, “get over it”.

You sat with your sister in the bleachers, watching as one of the bull riders fell off his bull and sprinted out of there quickly. Despite trying to listen to what your momma said, you couldn’t help but bounce your leg up and down in anxiety.

Your sister smacked the top of your knee, pulling you out of your little trance, “What's got your panties in a twist?”

You glanced at her before going back to bouncing your leg, “Just nervous”

“Man college has got you in a funk, huh? My ass just got flung off a horse so you definitely won't be the one ruining our families name tonight”

Nodding, you went back to watching the bull riders, hearing the announcements call Gojos name.

So he’s a bull rider.

The bull riders you’re used to meeting are usually full of themselves, and assume that all of the girls want them. But he was different, he wasn’t like that at all.

You watched his run, it was impressive. You weren’t sure how you haven't heard of him yet, how his name slipped past your mind the past twenty one years.

You got down from the bleachers and went down to the gate where the riders come out once they're done. You watched him as he celebrated with his friends, shoving each other and patting each other on the back.

Once he noticed you, he pulled himself away from his friends, taking his hat off.

“Funny seeing you here” He smiled “How’d I do? Glad you came out here?”

“You did okay, could’ve been better” You joked, looked away from him

“Cute” Gojo muttered, “You know you look awfully country today, where’d you get that get up, city girl”

Looking down at your outfit, you brushed the fabric of your jeans, “This old thing? Just something I picked up I suppose”

Leaning against the fence next to you, he smiled, “You look really pretty”

He spoke very softly when he said that, trying to pull away from his humorous matter.

“You don’t look to bad yourself”

“How about you come sit and watch the rest of the rodeo with me, huh?” Gojo offered

You wanted to, but you needed to race in ten minutes. Trying to think of an excuse, he must've noticed your frustration, “You don't have to darling, whatever you want is perfect how it is”

“Um, how about I come find you in like 15 or 20 minutes, I just gotta do something real quick” You muttered

He nodded at you before stating his approval, “I'll see you then, city girl”

Right before your run, you could feel your heart pounding. You knew Gojo was watching, and you didn’t want to make yourself look like a fool.

They announced your name and started the countdown. Taking a deep breath before the gate opened.

Your run was going perfect, your turns were great, and your speed was quicker than any of the other ladies who raced before you. Right when you were finished, you hopped off the horse and gave it a pat, thanking her for giving you such a great ride.

Your sister and old high school friends came over and hugged you, telling you how great the run was. “Shit girl, you still got it!”

All you could do was laugh, thanking them for all of the support they were giving you.

You took your horse over to where all of the trailers were parked, opening your parents trailer in the dark muddy lot. Your sister's horse stood there munching on food while you walked your horse in.

Hearing short claps behind you, you turned around to see Gojo slowly approaching, “City girl isn’t much of a city girl after all, huh?”

You chuckled, finishing tying your horse up in the trailer before closing it. “I never said I was from chicago, only that I go to school there”

“Well you fooled me” Gojo chuckled, “Full of surprises then, huh?”

“There’s more where that came from, don’t worry”

Gojo leaned against the side of the trailer you leaned on, standing awfully close to you.

“You’re quite the lady, you know that?” Gojo hummed softly

“You’re quite the cowboy,” You teased, poking his arm

He looked at you in silence for a moment, analyzing your face while holding a smile on his.

“Suppose I don’t gotta show you how to ride anymore then, hm?” He spoke softly, his body getting closer to yours

“I mean practice makes perfect” You winked

“I’m not being too forward now, am I?” He whispered

You shook your head, smiling at him, “Your not being forward enough”

Wrapping your arms around his neck, you pulled him in for a kiss. His hands found your waist and pulled your body closer to his. Your lips started to move against his, softly gliding against each other while he caressed your waist with his hand.

You reached your hand up to pull off his hat, dropping it right onto the ground. He turned you so your back was pressed up against the trailer, still kissing you deeply.

Gojos lips moved to your neck, kissing it while you hummed a soft moan. “You got the keys to this thing?” He questioned

“It’s unlocked” you muttered while he kept kissing your neck.

The moment you spoke those words he moved away and swung the back door open, urging you to jump in. Hoping in after you he reached in the front and locked the doors of the truck, falling back into his seat.

He pulled you onto his lap before he began kissing you again, massaging your hips and you kissed.

His hands found the bottom of your shirt, urging you to lift it up. Pulling the top off you, he looked down at your chest, “Fuck, you’re a gorgeous little thing aren’t you?”

Pressing kisses to your chest, you hummed in response, hands rubbing against his soft chest.

You pulled his buttoned up shirt out of his jeans and started unbuttoning the shirt, helping him pull his shirt off himself.

You traced the soft abs that laid under his skin, along with his strong biceps and muscular chest. His body was perfect, a masterpiece at that.

Biting your lip, you both quickly undid your belts, throwing them onto the floor of the truck along with your shirts.

Gojo moved sideways and put up his feet, allowing you to sit in between his legs. You leaned over him and started kissing him, soft lips pressing against his. While holding yourself up to kiss him with one hand, your other reached down in his pants to unbutton and unzip them.

Pulling away from the kiss, he glanced down at what you were doing before looking up at you, admiring the way you bit your lip just from his appearance.

You grabbed the sides of his jeans and boxers and yanked them down as he lifted his hips.

His cock was large, the kind of large that would hit your belly button from the inside. The kind of large that would make you concerned you’ll bleed from the stretch.

He chuckled softly at you, “Not something you’re used to?” He joked

“Eh, it could be bigger” You teased.

Right when you said the he grabbed you neck and pulled you towards him, pressing his lips right into yours again, “You ought to behave dear, or I ain’t gonna be a gentleman for much longer”

“Try me” You smirked

That really set something off with him, he was quick to flip you over to be underneath him and yank your jeans down, something that hasn’t quite happened to you in a long time.

You looked up at him with a cute smile before you reached his hand down to your pussy. His fingers found your clit before he started rubbing it in small circles, teasing your bundle of nerves.

The rubbing motion caused you to twitch and squirm against the seats of the truck, “Such a pretty girl”

You moaned as he spoke, biting your lip again.

He slid his hand down your cunt and slowly put the tip of his middle finger in and out of your pussy, teasing you

You whined which caused him to chuckle as a reaction, “What’s wrong baby? This not enough?”

“Please,” You hummed “need more”

He smiled again before fully pressing his finger inside you, pumping it in and out before slipping in another finger.

His fingered curled inside you, hitting your sweet spot.

Leaning his face down, he spat right on your clit before pressing his lips against it and sucking on it, still curling his fingers against your g spot.

Your body tingled and you could feel like it was going to explode, his motions continuing.

Your breathing deepened, your legs shook, and you felt as if you were just about to cum, right before Gojo pulled his mouth and hands away from your cunt.

He smiled at you as you whined and wiggled, “w-whyyy”

“You’re not gonna cum that easily now, are you?” He laughed

Rolling your eyes, he smiled at you once more as he sat down and pulled you into his lap.

“You’re pretty damn cute, you know that?”

“If you think I’m cute than you shoulda let me finish” You argued

He rolled his eyes jokingly at your comment, taking your hand and placing it on his cock.

Your hand wrapped around it and stroked it up and down, admiring the girth of it in your hand.

He grabbed your waist and held you up, your hands grabbing his shoulders. He guided the tip of his cock inside your pussy, allowing you time to adjust before sliding you down further to the base of it.

Your head fell back as you felt him fill you up. “Fuck” You muttered

His hand brushed your hair out of your face and behind your ear, falling back down to your waist before lifting you up and down on his cock slowly.

His dick was so deep inside you that when you looked down, you could see the tummy bulge of his cock.

You wrapped your arms around his neck, chest falling against his, moaning to the thrusts of his hips into yours.

The feeling of his cock inside of you made your legs shake and hips vibrate. Moaning at the pressure it built inside of you.

Only to make things better, Gojos hand fell to your cunt, his thumb rubbing circles against your clit.

This just about pushed you over the edge, whining at the sensation.

“I want you to cum for me y/n, cum on my fucking cock” Gojo groaned in your ear, clearly already close himself.

His words caused yourself to clench around him, trying to hold yourself back. Without any failure, he still managed to make you cum, causing you to shutter against him.

It didn’t take long before he had to pull himself off of you, trying not to cum inside you but still cumming all over your tummy.

Putting your exhaustion behind you, you looked at your belly and then back at him, carefully watching him before busting out into laughter at his tired face.

“What a gentleman” You teased before laying back on him.

He rubbed your back and pressed a kiss against your shoulder, leaning his head against yours.

#ilsamaki #ilsamakipost #Gojo smut #gojo satoru #jjk #jjk smut #jujutsu kaisen #gojo x reader

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onyourhyuck · 1 year ago

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Popular. | N.JM | PART 1

— Prologue: “Who’s the new girl?” + “Jaemin. Don’t tell me you are already harassing the new girl?”

— Summary: Revenge becomes love? Old faces become new faces? Where you enroll back to your old school where you got bullied, to get revenge on Na Jaemin but he cannot recognise you.

— Genre: Popularboy!najaemin x goodgirl!y/n. Revenge plot with romance and smut. Mention of bullying. Plot twists. Very sensitive subjects no minors. School sex(?) exhibition. Jaemin’s obsessed with y/n. Enemies to lovers (kinda)

— Notes: Popular - The Series Masterlist.

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The old faces become new faces, but to you they will always be the same. You see you’re enrolling back to a school you swore to never become back to but you made a long life promise that you will come back as a different person. And you did. You levelled up while everyone else stayed and stood the same. You’re a new person. New you. New chapter. No one can recognise you because you poured all the blood sweats and tears into your new self and new life to come back and show them what they’re missing out on. All you ever wanted was to be popular.

You wanted to be liked. You wanted to be invited to things, the things you craved back then are only getting more and more intense. You would’ve done anything to have what the popular kids have, to experience getting love and compliments. You wanted to be mainstream, you wanted to be viral. The attention they got was unfair because you never once had it back then. But now it’s different. You’re the new girl. No one recognises you.

At least you hope someone does recognise you so you can shove it in their face how brand new you look with all the hard work and suffering you had to go through.

Walking down those school hallways was something haunting. You feel like you’re back at the very start of hell that you had to deal with all those years, but now the looks on people’s faces weren’t facing you but giving you surprise glances. They have a new girl enrolling?

The boy on the side wearing a red hoodie with a white shirt underneath and a pair of denim jeans was caught off guard by the beautiful peach scent running from his nostrils, glaring up wondering where it was coming from, he saw an unfamiliar figure walking in front. Wearing a loose white sweater over a collared shirt buttoned up. The flowyness of the black skirt fluttering from each step she took with her legs. It just makes him stand there, mesmerised and also, thinking who was that?

The boy nudged his friend who closed the locker with a gentle slam. “Hey Sungchan,” He spoke with the inability to look away but make his friend watch the person he became someone so infatuated with. “Who’s the new girl?”

The taller boy, Sungchan, also his best friend despite being a year younger looks over at the girl he pointed at and a long-long face was expressed on him. “Jaemin. Don’t tell me you are already harassing the new girl?” Sungchan sighs.

“Looks like you don’t know either.”

The guy with slight light brunette hair smirks when he mentions that Jaemin’s curiosity was far too much already. Jaemin’s smirk stays as his eyes look at Sungchan and he pats his chest with the palm. “Cya at lunch Chan.” Jaemin said suddenly jogging away from his friend leaving Sungchan by the lockers completely stranded, but not surprised.

‘Why am I not surprised? It’s Jaemin.’ The younger boy said to himself under the breath of holding back from shouting, trying not to seem so surprised but every time something happens, he was left alone to deal with his mess.

Running to dodge a few people passing through a sudden person now walks on the same length pace as you and your eyes caught the guy instantly. You remember him. The flashbacks run in your eyes like it was yesterday it happened. How he ignored you. Left you when you needed the help the most. The same anger flusters your knuckles but you roll them forward and your strength was holding back, you had the urge to just punch him already knowing what he did to you. But he seems to be completely oblivious? Does he really not remember you? You found it almost offensive that he does not recognise you considering what he did, it stays buried within your past.

Your glare appointed to the boy you stop when you notice he was following you and about to speak to you, so you shut him up immediately before he could even speak. “What do you want?” Well that came out slightly more meaner from you than Jaemin thought he would get. “You’re the new girl right? Why don’t I give you a school tour guide at lunch time.” He offers with a sweet smile.

This was God’s plan in a way. You thought this was perfect timing to get your revenge on him and just shout at him, reveal who you are, but you couldn’t do that. You didn’t have the strength to shout and scream anymore all you have is the numbing anger to deal with on your old wounds.

Then it hits you. He doesn’t recognise you and he thinks you’re a new girl, someone he doesn’t have relations with at all. Your eyes light up and your thoughts begin to trail like a running waterfall in synch.

What if you make him fall for you? Then you can take your revenge when he really loves you? You could make him regret what he did. He can be the first one on your list to take your revenge on.

You saw that the boy was waiting for your answer with hopeful sweet eyes. Your thoughts were too dark. You were wanting revenge not friendship, so to make this look real you have to pull your act together and hide your anger from everyone, at least for now. You pull a fake smile. “Sure, show me around.”

You swore Jaemin’s sweet smile widens. “Perfect. I’m Na Jaemin and you are…?”

The hand extends out to shake yours and you feel your eyebrows raise up furrowing as you had to think of a name for yourself. You remember you even given yourself a brand new name when enrolling into this school. You really had everything planned from the get-go.

“Y/n.” You tell him as you softly shake him by the hand. Jaemin was taking notes mentally already of your name, he found you mysterious. And he loves mysterious especially for a curious guy like he is you are a dangerous box for him to find.

He smiles. “Y/n huh? Pretty name. I’ll meet you in the cafeteria. It’s by the right side of you go straight ahead. Don’t forget that.”

“I won’t forget.” Not like you can. It’s not actually your first time being at this school.

You nearly forgot how nerving it must be being the new student. Especially when you’re standing in front of the class front of everyone, the teacher trying to make the class settle down and go quiet so you could introduce yourself.

“Come on kids settle down, it’s a Monday morning you shouldn’t be so hyperactive and happy.” The teacher glimpses back to you and the students with a sarcastic tone.

The students settle down. You recognise some of them. How can you forget after all? They all did you wrong.

Ningning, the most popular girl in the school who makes everything a competition if a slightest person gets more attention than her. She is popularity itself. People often refer to her as Queen of popularity. But you’re determined to overtake her, make her life a hell like she did to you.

Then there was Chenle. He was pretty wealthy and he got away with many many things you saw him do. He doesn’t even know you saw him do it because back then, you were someone else. You were nearly broken.

And you can’t forget Jaemin. Na Jaemin. The boy who does everything so effortlessly. The school heartthrob. The most popular guy you could ever think about. Jaemin is a social network. He was everything you have to be careful of.

‘Unless you’re going to use him.’ You thought to yourself.

The teacher gave you a sign to start when you’re ready and you clear your worrisome thoughts putting on a friendly smile. You bow your head. “Hello I’m Y/n I hope we all get along well.” The students welcome you by clapping their hands as you take a seat down at the middle section. You thought it was perfect if you sat there considering you didn’t want to be at the back like before.

Students were surprised by how pretty you are too, especially the boys in the class seem to be gossiping already, which just makes Ningning on edge. The new girl was already rousing up people saying how cute you look.

Jaemin smirks raising his hand. “Sir can I sit next to Y/n? I promised to show her around at lunch.” He smugly told to everyone so they can all wow and gasp. You’re already on first name basis and it made everyone’s lips widen.

You find Jaemin already so annoying that he’s sticking by you but this makes your job so much easier.

He just doesn’t know who you are it makes this all so much funnier how he’s doing everything he can to be around you. Hip to hip.

“You may.” The teacher said dismissing it so the lesson can go on. Jaemin moves to the next vacant chair and table next to your desk where you sat and he gives you a healing warm smile.

He starts to admire you from the side profile. You really look like a doll from any angle. Jaemin raised an eyebrow though. “Do you perhaps have a sister or anything?” Jaemin now said thinking. “Or is this your first time enrolling?”

He has a feeling he knows you from somewhere but he cannot brush it away without asking straight up.

Your eyes widen. “Sister? No… It’s my first time enrolling.” You mumble quietly not wanting to attract much attention to his question either. It’s best to act dumb and play along.

Jaemin let’s out a soft ‘huh’. He wasn’t sure why he thought you’d had an older sister or something. “Hm okay then.”

“Anyways, Y/n. What school did you come from before then?” He smiles watching you.

You don’t even bother to look at him, Jaemin found it so interesting how you’re listening to the lesson while not even paying much mind to him. “I was homeschooled.”

You had to be especially careful not to reveal too much of your past to him, but you can say you were homeschooled.

He leans closer. “Did you ever go to a school like this before then?”

“Nope.”

“Not even once?”

“No.”

“Wow… you must suck at socialising then Y/n. I mean… you sounded pretty angry with me when we first met.”

You wanted to slam your pencil and tell him to stop speaking when you’re in middle of a lesson trying to catch up with some work but you couldn’t do that to him otherwise you’d explode. And it might get you in trouble.

You patiently bite down on your tongue and pray Jaemin just shuts up. “I was in a grumpy mood, don’t pay mind to my tone.” You grit your teeth as you spoke and Jaemin smirks.

He knows he’s getting to you. “Am I annoying you Y/n?” Jaemin would ask you as if he didn’t know that he was, but it felt much nicer to hear it from you. You lift your face up with a heavy sigh away from the paper you’re writing class notes in as you turn to look at him.

“Yes, yes you are. I’m trying to write these class notes.” You say to him truthfully trying to put the hint across and Jaemin let’s out a soft ‘awh’ at you.

“Look at you trying to be a good student already. Can I copy some of the notes from you?” He smirks watching your expression twitch a little.

‘What a dick.’ You thought to yourself as if you never experienced people leeching off you again.

“Will you shut up if you do?” You sigh desperate for some peace and quiet over here as you see Jaemin smirk nodding. “Of course.”

You don’t know if you can believe him. Actually you don’t. But you did this anyways and handed your notes to him so he can take a copy of it on the paper he owns.

You snatch your paper away once he was done out his hand and he sheepishly smirks leaning closer whispering to you when you’re going back to writing down on the paper.

“Thank you Y/n.” Jaemin whispers pulling away.

“No problem, Jaemin.” You sarcastically said with a tone that wasn’t so nice and upbeat to him, whispering it back.

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@onyourhyuck please refer from translating copyrighting and plagiarising my work thank you! Please reblog this fic and follow me for more updates on my pinned post!

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atiny-moon · 1 year ago

Text

Will you be my girlfriend?

18+ FANFIC. MINORS DNI

Genre: soft fluffy smut because.. y’know (pronounced Yunho)

Pairing: yunho x fem!reader

Tags: light nipple play, mutual masturbation, unprotected sex (no se hace!) & so many kisses

Word Count: 4.5K

18+ FANFIC. MINORS DNI

Your friend set you up on a blind date about six months ago. They didn’t tell you who it was, only that he was just your type, whatever that meant. However, the second you laid your eyes on him you knew your friend was utterly and totally right. Jeong Yunho was tall, handsome, and had the sparkliest brown eyes you’d ever seen. As the night went on and the two of you got to know each other you realized that his looks were the second most attractive thing about him. It was really his heart and his goofy personality that won you over.

Since that initial date, the two of you were only able to see each other two more times. His schedule was so incredibly busy. He was actually in the middle of a comeback which meant that you probably wouldn’t see him for another few months. But that was fine. You enjoyed the time you spent together and even when you were apart, you were always texting and facetiming. Well, to the best of his abilities. Oftentimes the phone calls were either really early in the morning or really late at night but you never seemed to mind. His smile and those sparkly brown eyes of his were enough to melt your heart every time.

Yunho eventually had a break in his schedule and the only thing on his mind was seeing you. He called you the night before to explain the sudden free time and wondered if you wanted to meet up at ‘our spot.’ ‘Our spot’ was the coffee shop by your apartment where you two had your first date. Since then, it’s become the first stop on all of your dates, kind of like a little special routine just for the both of you.

You happily agreed to meet him up.

The following morning you were standing outside the coffee shop a little earlier than scheduled. You were dressed in a light wash denim midi skirt, white tank top, and a thin cardigan draped over your shoulders. Your hair was pulled up with a claw clip and you had on your favorite pair of white sneakers. Super cute. Super casual.

You were scrolling through your phone when out of the corner of your eye you saw a pair of white sneakers stop right in front you. You looked up and were met with none other than Jeong Yunho. He stood in front of you in a pair of light wash jeans and an oversized thin white button down with the sleeves rolled up to his forearms. A bright shiny smile took over his entire face the second he met your eyes.

“Hey twin,” You said through your smile.

Yunho winked before responding, “You’re too pretty to be my twin.”

You rolled your eyes as you playfully slapped at his arm. He caught your wrist and pulled you into one of the coziest hugs. You tried to resist but his embrace was too comforting and you soon found yourself relaxing into his hug, your arms wrapping around his waist. Being in his arms made all of your worries drift away. Eventually, the two of you separated and entered the coffee shop.

Yunho had his arm draped across your shoulders as the both of you made your way to the cash register. Before you could say anything, Yunho was already ordering.

“Two blueberry muffins, one iced americano, and one iced caramel macchiato,” Yunho said to the barista.

“Actually, two caramel macchiatos, please,” You corrected. The barista nodded, adjusted the order, accepted payment, and then got to work on preparing your order.

“When did you start drinking macchiatos?” Yunho questioned.

“When I started missing you,” You flirted.

It was his turn to roll his eyes and scoff but you could see the little blush tinging the tips of his ears and coloring his cherub cheeks a light shade of pink. You watched as he tried to hide his smile but it was no use - his eyes were already crinkled at the corners. The two of you were so lost in your own world you didn’t notice the barista calling out your order. This made the both of you giggle and hurry along to gather your things before trying to find a place to sit.

You two found a seat at the back of the cafe near the private garden. The whole coffee shop had a nice blend of natural and industrial architecture. Meaning, the floor, walls, and ceiling were made of a poured-in-place concrete with the only other materials in the coffee shop being glass and black steel. It contrasted nicely against the hanging plants that lined the walls and adorned the tables. The garden was lined with large panes of glass so that you could readily enjoy the view while enjoying your meal.

The both of you settled into your seats and into an easy flow of conversation. Bursts of giggles in-between bites of your blueberry muffins kept the atmosphere soft and enjoyable. Being with Yunho was like being in a direct beam of sunshine. It is warm and welcoming and comforting, like your favorite comforter after it’s been washed and the smell of detergent is still fresh. You couldn’t help but smile and laugh while you were around him. You also couldn’t help but open up and share everything with him - he was just so easy to talk to!

Somewhere during your conversation, the muffins finished and caramel macchiatos dripping with condensation, Yunho took one of your hands in his. You didn’t notice. It was something so natural for him to do that it just felt like your hand was always supposed to be in his, it felt like that’s where your hand just naturally belonged. You were very lost in thought - talking about the current project you were working on and where it was going when Yunho suddenly cut you off, “Will you be my girlfriend?”

You blinked up at him, unable to form sentences or coherent thoughts or even breathe for that matter.

He continued, “I like you. A lot. I like the way you smile. I like the way you laugh. I like the way your eyes get all big and sparkly when you talk about something you're passionate about. I like the way you take care of yourself. I like the way you take care of others. I like the way I feel when I’m with you. I like how big your heart is and..” his voice grew quieter as he realized the following was the truest part of his statement, “..and I want to take care of you.”

The sting of tears threatening to ruin your mascara was the first step in realizing that you were absolutely crazy about this man. You emphatically nodded your head, still unable to properly get the words out. Yunho responded with the largest smile you had seen on his face yet and soon interlaced his fingers with yours. With his free hand, he took out his phone and snapped a photo of the both of you holding hands.

“Wait! Me too!” You playfully whined as you also took out your phone and took a similar picture. The two of you giggled for what felt like the umpteenth time that morning as you set the photos as your respective new phone backgrounds. It was such a silly, jovial thing to do but it absolutely set your heart ablaze. You then stretched out your legs and threaded them between his so that your hands and legs were now interlaced. Eventually, the butterflies in both of your tummies subsided and you continued your chat.

You didn’t really know how much time had passed and it wasn’t until that first crack of thunder did the two of you break out of your little bubble. The both of you looked on in wonder as the skies darkened and an onslaught of pouring rain immediately began.

“Oh, no..” Yunho sulked, “I had reservations for this new hotpot place but I don’t really want to drive in this rain.”

“We could go back to my place?”

This question hung heavy in the air. Yunho’s normally large sparkly eyes darkened slightly as he considered your words. He wanted to go back to your place, of course, but did you know what that question meant? What if he said the wrong thing? Or did the wrong thing? How could he forgive himself if he upset you?

You watched as the gears turned in Yunho’s head, kicking yourself for even bringing something like that up. You opened your mouth to take it all back but Yunho cut you off, “As long as we can get some snacks? I’m pretty hungry.” His stomach let out a rumble loud enough for the both of you to hear.

After the laughing fit, you responded, “Yeah - there’s a convenience store close by.”

The both of you took your time cleaning up your mess, hoping the rain would subside as you cleaned up but no such luck. The thunderstorm was just as strong as ever. So, while holding hands, the both of you bolted through the downpour, running and laughing the three blocks to the convenience store.

You picked up the essentials - some instant noodles, boiled eggs, gimbap, and a couple of banana milks. The two of you were in and out of the convenience store in under 10 minutes - unable to withstand the air conditioning on your soaked bodies for much longer than that. You ran another block to your apartment complex and just like that, you and Yunho were standing in your apartment.

“Uhm, stay right here.. I’ll be right back.” You took off your shoes and socks and tiptoed your way through your apartment to your bedroom, trying your hardest not to wet everything.

Yunho stood in your doorway for the first time and admired your apartment. It had an open-floor plan with the kitchen to your left that opened up to the living room. The only windows in the apartment were the huge floor-to-ceiling windows along the far side of your living room. As for decorations, everything was a mixture of soft pastels. The couch was a pale blue color while the area rug was a geometric pattern in a soft pink and yellow. The artwork on the walls was a careful blend of movie posters and minimalism artwork. There were bits and baubles that dotted any open surface - revealing your personal taste and personality. Everything was so colorful and made you happy.

You caught Yunho staring at all of the things when you came out of the bedroom. You handed him a towel and a change of clothes. You had also taken this time to dry yourself and change into a pair of leggings and pale green sweatshirt. Your voice was surprisingly soft when you finally addressed him, “The bathroom’s through there..” You pointed to your bedroom, unable to meet his eyes.

Yunho blushed as he realized he would have to walk through your bedroom for the first time. He started stumbling over his words but it was your turn to interrupt him, “I’ll get started on the noodles.” You avoided his eyes as you made your way to the kitchen and began busying yourself with getting the snacks ready.

Later, just as you were finishing up preparing the snacks, Yunho walked out of your bedroom wearing the only items of clothing that could his fit large frame. He was wearing one of your biggest sleeping shirts - a pastel pink number with kittens wearing bows and a pair of green and white two-toned sweatpants your brother left the last time he visited. Yunho was also wearing the only socks that could fit him which were a pair of Halloween themed fuzzy socks. His hair looked extra puffy and there was a small pout on his lips.

You managed to settle the snacks down on the coffee table in front of the couch before turning to Yunho and simply embracing him in a hug.

“Lookin good honey,” You tried your hardest to keep a straight face but the giggles crept in at the very end of your sentence, completely annihilating any credibility you may have had. Yunho sulked for a little bit longer before hugging you back.

“Joke’s on you, I actually like this shirt,” You could hear the pout in his words which only made you hug him harder. You buried your face in his chest until you were able to completely suppress the giggles.

“Come on, Mr. Kittens, the food’s gonna get cold,” You teased.

At this, Yunho completely pushed you off him and headed over toward the couch. He used his long arms to prevent you from getting any closer to him until you formally apologized. Which you did. After, he gladly brought you in for the warmest cuddles ever. You put on a random Marvel movie and began your convenience store food mukbang.

Somewhere near the middle of the movie, both of you had finished your snacks and were simply cuddling on the couch. You were snuggled up against his side and Yunho had his arm draped over your shoulders. Maybe in an effort to get comfier or an effort to get closer to him, you draped your legs over his lap. Yunho noticed and wasn’t able to concentrate on the movie for the next few minutes while he tried his hardest to keep the blush from creeping up his cheeks. Eventually, he managed to calm his breathing and bring you in even closer to his side.

A few moments later you felt the brush of Yunho’s adept fingers on your chest. Specifically, they were brushing against the sensitive area near your nipple. You could feel his touch even through the sweatshirt and your bralette. His touch made you take a gulp of air as it was now your turn to try and keep your breathing even. His fingers did not let up in their touch, however. Yunho going as far as pinching your hardening nipple between his index and middle finger. You bit down on your bottom lip to suppress a moan but you could not control the way your body was starting to shift in your seat. You placed your hand on his thigh to try and brace yourself but it only motivated Yunho even more.

His free hand moved to your face and lifted it up so you were both making eye contact. While he held you like this Yunho’s fingers delivered another pinch to your nipple. He watched as your mouth opened slightly to let out a moan. His hand then cupped the side of your face and held it in place while he kissed you. It was so soft, so tender, so right. You kept your hand on his thigh while the other came up to his face and reciprocated the touch. The kiss deepened and the two of you forgot what you were doing with your hands - choosing instead to lose yourselves in the kiss.

Yunho then moved his hand that was on your tit up to the other side of your face so he was effectively cupping both of your cheeks while kissing you. And instead of mirroring his touches, you pull yourself onto his lap and straddle your legs on either side of him. This caused Yunho to pull away from the kiss and take a big gulp of air as he tried to get used to this new position. His hands were still holding your cheeks as his eyes searched your face for.. Something.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” His voice was so small in this moment. His big, sparkly eyes looked into yours for what felt like an eternity and truth be told, you were a little lost in his eyes. His face was so soft and full and pure, you wondered how you got so lucky. Should probably send that friend a fruit basket.

“Yes, Yunho. I want you to fuck me.” The boldness of your words caused not only a bright red flush to color Yunho’s cheek but it also elicited a sound that could only be described as a guttural moan of satisfaction. His hips moved into yours and you could feel his hardening dick underneath you. He brought you in for another kiss, and if possible, this kiss was deeper and more passionate than the previous one. His hand slid into your still damp hair and settled on the back of your head, grabbing a handful of hair and tugging at the root ever so slightly. You moaned into his mouth as his hips rocked into yours once more.

You placed your hands on his chest to hold yourself steady as you feel Yunho get to work. His free hand gripped you by the waist and held you in place as he continued to push his hips up into yours. With each roll of his hips, the excitement in-between your legs grew. You wanted to feel what his dick was like, wanted to see it with your own eyes. Your hands traveled the length of his torso and dipped underneath the pink sleeping shirt. Yunho pulled away from the kiss and watched as your hands freed his cock from the sweatpants.

You were pleasantly surprised. Yunho’s dick was definitely the prettiest you had ever dealt with; it was long and quite girthy with an already leaking tip. You couldn’t help but lick your lips at the sight. You wrapped your hands around the base of his dick and began pumping. Yunho threw his head back in ecstasy, soft sighs escaping his lips with every movement of your hands. You were getting into quite a rhythm with the handjob when you felt Yunho’s hands over yours.

“Like this, baby.” His words were dripping with lust. He wrapped his large hands around your smaller ones and adjusted your grip and slowed down your pace. Yunho kept his hand on yours until you were able to jerk his dick off just like he liked it. The result was heavenly. Yunho’s breathing became deeper and more erratic, grunts and moans replacing some of his shallower breaths. The way he reacted to your touch was setting your core on fire.

As you pumped his dick, Yunho cupped the sides of your face and brought you in for another delectably passionate kiss. His moans were turning into whimpers and you could tell that he was close. He pulled away from the kiss and with strain in his voice he whispered, “Show me how you like it.”

Yunho dropped his hands from your face and slipped two fingers underneath the hem of your leggings. He was surprised to find that you weren’t wearing any underwear and he was doubly surprised to find how wet you were already. His index and middle finger pressed into your clit and started rubbing small circles.

The first initial contact of his fingers on your clit caused you to stop pumping his dick altogether and focus instead on the way he was touching you. Your eyes closed as the first wave of euphoria washed over your body. Soon thereafter, your body was able to get used to his touch. That’s when you slid your own hand under the hem of your leggings and over Yunho’s fingers on your pussy. You adjusted the pressure and the pace and guided him until he was able to do it on his own. Considering how quick of a learner he was, it took no time at all for Yunho to pick up your preferred rhythm, and pretty soon he was pleasing you better than you've ever been able to please yourself.

The pleasure was immediate and intense. The only thing you could do was go back to jerking his dick. You recreated the grip and pace that he initially showed you and got to work. The both of you found yourselves watching the other - your eyes intensely watching Yunho’s large hand please your throbbing pussy and Yunho watching your small hand pump his big cock.

“Fuuck..” you breathed out.

“..That’s so hot,” Yunho completed your thought.

It was so satisfying when you both leaned in for a kiss at the same time. With the feeling of your hands pleasing the other and the intensity of your kiss, the both of you felt the rush of an orgasm creep on you quicker than either of you anticipated. But neither of you were ready to cum just yet.

You pulled away first from the kiss this time, “Let’s go the room.” You weren’t quite sure if the sentence made sense but your brain was clouded with thoughts of Yunho’s pretty dick and what it would feel like inside of you. Yunho nodded and let you dismount before standing to join you. He didn’t even tuck his dick back into the sweatpants as the both of you made your way into your bedroom.

It was decorated similarly to the living room with the only exception being all the Squishmallows on your bed. You were feeling pretty embarrassed until Yunho picked up a yellow puppy plushie and said, “Aw, I have the same one.” He looked so at home holding your plushie, you momentarily forgot about his rock hard cock sticking out of his sweatpants. The two of you cleared the plushies off your bed before turning your attention back to each other.

Yunho closed the distance first, wrapping his arms around your waist and bringing you in close. He eagerly pressed his lips into yours and you returned the kiss with a reciprocating passion. The two of you were lost in the heat of the kiss for a long time before Yunho started tugging at your clothing with hungry hands. In a matter of moments you were completely naked before him and were about to start feeling small when he quickly stripped himself of his own clothing. Yunho swifty embraced you once more in another kiss as his hands explored your body for the first time.

You wrapped your arms around his waist and brought him in closer. You could feel his completely hardened dick press into your body and you wanted more. Your hands moved to his dick and were just about to start jerking him off again when you felt Yunho’s hands tighten their grip on your waist just seconds before you were thrown onto the bed.

You land on your back with a squeal of delight and Yunho is quick to jump on top of you, his broad frame easily enveloping your smaller one. He moves his hands under you and adjusts your position on the bed so your head is on the pillows and he is on all fours right above you. Those sparkly brown eyes of his watch your face for any sign of injury or discomfort. The worry in his eyes makes your heart pitter patter and all you could do is grab him by the neck and pull him in for a kiss.

While the two of you kiss, the excitement starts building between your legs and it is your turn to touch him with hungry hands. You run the tips of your nails along his arms and down his back, lightly grazing and scratching at his back. He moans into the kiss and pushes his hips into yours. You could feel his cock slide along the length of your pussy and the feeling alone is enough to dig your nails into his back. Yunho breaks the kiss so he can throw his head back and moan in pure pleasure. You take this opportunity to lavish his neck and shoulders with sweet soft kisses.

Yunho continues the slow, deliberate rock of his hips - encouraging his dick to slide between your pussy lips and encouraging more moans from the both of you. The both of you watch as his dick slides up and down your pussy, his precum making a mess on your lower tummy. You bite your bottom lip and try to match the pace of his hips with your own. You start rocking your own hips in time to his, but it’s not enough. You want to feel his cock inside of you.

You release the hold you had on Yunho’s back so you can slip one hand in-between the both of you and grab his dick. The sudden pleasure makes Yunho release a quiet string of curse words. With this particular sort of encouragement, you take the tip of his dick and press it into your clit, massaging the sensitive area with the head of his cock. The feeling is otherworldly and it takes everything in you not to cum right then and there.

“Let me fuck you, baby.” Yunho’s words were warm in your ear. You tore your gaze away from his pretty dick on your pussy to watch his face as you slid his cock right over to your entrance. He steadied himself then began the slow push of his dick into your pussy. Your eyes fluttered closed at the initial sensation of being stretched out. Yunho buried his face in your neck while he carefully pumped his girthy cock into your pussy.

He managed to make his way fully inside you and the both of you had to pause and breathe in deep as you tried to get used to the new feeling. You wrapped your arms around him as he pulled out for the first time. He pushed in once more and slowly, Yunho started getting into a rhythm - similar to the rhythm you showed him while touching each other. You loved the way he was learning your body.

Yunho adjusted his position so he was kneeling on the bed and your legs were over his shoulders. This allowed him to go even deeper than before, the tip of his cock hitting places you didn't even know you had. Yunho’s large hands held your legs in place by gripping at your thighs. His pace quickened and deepened. You didn’t know how much longer you could hold out.

Just as you were starting to see stars and about to cum, Yunho released the grip of one of your thighs so his fingers could play with your clit. His fingers moved in sync with the pumping of his cock - the pleasure was so overwhelming. Not only was he hitting your g-spot with his thick dick but his fingers were rubbing and playing with your clit like never before. You threw your head back onto your pillows, screams of ecstasy tearing through you.

It wasn’t long before the two of you were announcing that you were near the edge. The both of you gripping onto each other as the wave of orgasms washed over both of your bodies. Yunho pulled out moments before making a mess on the inside of your thigh. He collapsed beside you shortly thereafter. You’re not sure how long the both of you laid there trying to catch your breath. Eventually, you were the first to gather yourself and make your way into the bathroom.

Yunho heard the water running seconds before you popped your head out of the bathroom to ask him, “Care to join me?”

#ateez yunho #ateez fanfic #ateez smut #ateez #yunho #yunho x reader #x reader #x/y n #x you #kpop smut #x y/n smut #soft smut #smut

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stardustrebels · 18 days ago

Text

More of You- Chapter 2

Pairing: Joel Miller x fem!reader

WC: 1k

Rating: 18+ for eventual smut, MDNI

Series Masterlist | Blog Masterlist Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

Summary: After a devastating betrayal and loss, you left everything behind on the East Coast and promised yourself a fresh start in Austin, Texas. Independence as your new mantra, you vow never to let anyone too close again. Then you meet Joel Miller- a man whose warmth and Southern charm makes it hard to stick to your resolve. As your feelings deepen, you’re forced to confront your past- and question if letting someone in again is worth the risk.

Tags: No outbreak!AU. Coffee shop meet-cute with a slow-ish burn. Sickly sweet fluff with eventual smut. I wanted to write something that gave me the warm fuzzies, and I am kicking my feet and giggling while I write this. Joel Miller just deserves a good life, you know? Joel and reader have a teeny tiny age gap- Joel is 42, reader is mid 30s. Sarah is 19. No use of Y/N, minimal descriptions of reader. She has hair long enough to tie back and she wears skirts and dresses. A/N: If you're reading this, hello! I'm so glad you're here :) As before, not really proofread, but we move. If I overthink it, it'll never get posted. Enjoy!

He was already there when you arrived the next day- you spotted him as soon as you entered the coffee shop, settled into the same corner seat by the window; his broad shoulders hunched slightly as he leaned over his worn paperback, just as he had the day before. You blinked to make sure he wasn’t a figment of your imagination- the early morning sunlight streaming through the window illuminated the streaks of silver in his hair, making them glint like beautiful threads of polished steel. He was wearing a denim shirt today and a pair of reading glasses were perched low on his nose, the frames slightly crooked, as though they had been carelessly shoved in to a pocket one too many times.

You tried not to look too obvious as you stole glances at him. He didn’t seem to notice you- or maybe he was just too polite to let on that he had. You ordered and made your way to your usual table, glancing down as you passed. On the table in front of him sat a black coffee, the steam curling lazily in to the air. A single biscotti lay untouched on the saucer beside the cup, as if it had been ordered out of politeness rather than any real intention to eat it. He shifted slightly in his seat as you brushed past him tilting the book to the side as though the movement had broken his concentration.

As you sat down and set up your laptop as normal, you couldn’t help but muse over him. He didn’t seem like the kind of man who frequented coffee shops for the atmosphere. The black coffee, no cream or sugar, suggested a practicality rather than indulgence, but maybe that was an unfair stereotype based on how he looked. You found yourself wondering if he always drank his coffee black. It suited him- at least you thought so. Did he come here as often as you did and you’d just never noticed him before, or was this just a coincidence? The barista arriving to your table with your coffee pulled you from your thoughts. You thanked her with a smile. As your gaze drifted back down to the table from where she had stood, you braved a glance at him again. Your eyes darted to his hands watching transfixed as he lifted the cup to his lips, the way his Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed. You swallowed too, eyes lingering on the base of his throat, just above the first button of his shirt. Your eyes flicked back up to his face; his expression was calm, though every so often his brows would furrow and his lips would press together in concentration. You couldn’t tear your eyes away from him. Every movement was mesmerising.

A thought crossed your mind, as it had the day prior. I could just say hello. Introduce myself. Ask him what he’s reading.

It wasn’t such a wild idea. People struck up conversations in coffee shops all the time. He seemed approachable, he had smiled at you yesterday. Maybe he wouldn’t mind the interruption. Maybe he’d even welcome it.

You bit your lip, heart beating a little faster at the thought. At the idea of effortless, casual conversation with him. You might even get to see what a full smile on his face looked like as you chatted. Your fingers twitched with indecision. Then he looked up at you.

You froze, your breath catching in your throat, your fingers stilled awkwardly above your keyboard. His brown eyes, framed by laughter lines under his black-rimmed glasses, crinkled as he smiled at you. It wasn’t much, just a faint lift of the corner of his mouth, but it was enough to make your heart thump hard in your chest. You felt the heat rising in your cheeks as you realised that you’d been caught looking at him. Again. You tried to look casual, tapping your fingers awkwardly against your keyboard, typing nonsense on to your screen.

The moment lingered, and so did his smile. Maybe he’s waiting for you to say something, a bold part of your brain suggested. Or maybe he’s being polite at the weirdo who won’t stop staring at him, another, less helpful, part of your brain offered. You swallowed hard, the argument bouncing around inside your head. It’s now or never. Just ask about his book, or say hi. Or- anything!

Taking a steadying breath, you started to push back your chair, steeling yourself to cross to his table before you could talk yourself out of it. But before you could stand, his phone buzzed and lit up on the table.

He glanced down at the screen, expression shifting immediately. The faint softness of his smile vanished, replaced by a small frown as he picked up the phone. He answered with a clipped, “Miller.”

His voice was deep, rich, and carried an authoritative air that sent shivers down your spine. You quickly dropped your gaze back to your laptop, feigning sudden interest in the jumble of words you smashed on to the document earlier in your attempt to play it cool. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw him listening intently, his free hand running over the back of his neck as he nodded at whatever was being said on the other end of the line.

“Yeah, okay. I’ll be there soon,” he said, his tone curt but calm. He ended the call and set his phone down, rubbing his temple for a moment before finishing the last of his coffee in a single gulp. You snuck another glance as he stood, his denim shirt lifting as he slung a bag over his shoulder, revealing the tiniest sliver of tanned skin. You gulped and watched as he carried the cup, saucer and uneaten biscotti back to the counter, just as he had the day before, murmuring a quick thanks to the barista. Then, without a backward glance he strode out of the coffee shop, his boots thudding softly against the floor.

You stared after him and felt a pang of disappointment. So much for now or never.

Next Chapter

#Joel Miller #joel miller fanfiction #Joel Miller x reader #Joel Miller x fem!reader #tlou #tlou hbo #no outbreak au #tlou au #soft!joel miller #Joel Miller in reading glasses? yes please

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rayhalloffame · 4 months ago

Text

I had a drunken night out and so…

You stumble through the front door of your apartment, Ray hot on your heels with a warm, guiding hand at the small of your back. You had such a fun time at the club and maybe just one drink too many. Ray’s got the door locked and he’s stalking towards you, mouth crooked to one side and eyes glinting. “You had lots of fans tonight, didn’t you, sweetheart?”

You smirk back, taking small steps backwards until you feel the cool kitchen countertop against your slightly exposed waist. You tug at the fabric of your black shirt so it meets the band of your denim skirt.

Ray reaches you, palms sliding down your waist until he can grip the backs of your thighs. He lifts you onto the counter, fits easily in the space between your thighs. His hands come up to cradle your face and he gets real close until your noses are touching. His eyes flick up from your lips to meet your gaze, lips brushing your own when he says, “Let’s save those sexy bar top dances for me, hmm?”

You smile into the kiss that he leans into, hands finding his ribs and holding there. The kiss is tongues and teeth and low hums of pleasure passed between your lips. One of his hands moves to tangle in the hair at the nape of your neck. He tilts your head back, baring your throat. His lips move down the side of your face, dip to the underside of your jaw. It’s gentle but sloppy, mouth never really moving from your skin, a continuous drag of wet lips until he reaches the base of your throat. He gives a soft bite to your collarbone before coming back up to look at you.

His hand detangles from your hair, gliding with his fingertips down your upper arm, ribs, until he’s cupping the outside of your thigh. He’s still got an open palm holding your jaw, big hand resting on the side of your face. His thumb swipes across your cheekbone, back and forth, back and forth. He seems captivated, eyes tracing over your face like he’s trying to memorize you in this moment. It makes you shy, makes you squeeze your thighs where they rest just outside of his waist, makes your eyelashes flutter against your cheeks. You fist his button-down shirt between your fists.

“I should shower,” you say, finally, in the small space between you both. The air is still charged, and Ray’s gaze is adoring. You lean forward and press a chaste kiss to the corner of his mouth, pat his sides where you’ve released his shirt.

Ray steps out of your space, reaching down to your ankles to unclasp the straps of your heels and slide them from your feet. He offers his hands for you to hop down from the counter, which you take. You feel his eyes linger on you as you walk towards the bathroom. When you turn, his shirt is thrown over his shoulder, he’s smirking again. “Let’s save some water,” he suggests.

“What an environmentalist,” you mock. But then your eyes drag along his torso and when you turn away to continue on your way, “Come on, Hall.” You shriek at his fast approaching steps behind you.

#cal talks #ray hall #panic 2021 #panic amazon #ray hall fluff #panic #Ray hall x reader

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itgetsdark-x · 2 years ago

Note

I am an absolute slut for your writing, you are fricking so talented!!

requesting for joel x babysitter!reader bumping into each other at a bar and making I want to fuck you eyes at each other, and mayhaps they dooo at the end of the night pleaseeee hehe thank youu <3

A/N: when I say, the thought of being a babysitter for sarah and seeing joel weekly / daily had me barking at a wall… I love me a forbidden relationship wheeew! I hope this pleases you, anon, cause I would give a lung to fuck joel in a dingy bar bathroom lol. (thank u for the compliment, ur an angel!! <3)

Summary: You were in college, you babysat for Joel Miller’s daughter; you were a good girl who rarely went out drinking so imagine his surprise when he saw you dancing in a local student bar.

Characters: Joel Miller x babysitter!reader (f) Warnings: 18+ (minors dni), age gap (reader twenties, Joel in his 40s, it’s not explicitly stated but heavily implied. All characters are legal), alcohol consumption

Word Count: 2.9k

You swayed your hips the music in the bar as your friends giggled about something that caught their attention nearby. You brought your drink up to your mouth and drank back the shot of alcohol your friend bought for you.

“Fuck me.” You cursed and shook you head with disgust. “Never gets better or easier.” You gagged and quickly drank back your chaser of vodka and coke, at least that way the booze was disguised and sweet.

“You’re just a lightweight through and through, babe.” You friend, Jennifer laughed and quickly knocked back another shot.

You were out in your local bar celebrating the fact you guys had made it through your exams, and finally, you were free to party without the stresses of studying the next day with a hangover or even worse, trying to take a test when you were hungover.

“Shut up,” you snorted and nudged her with your arm.

She called in another round of shots for you and your friends that were out and you waved your hands in front of your face.

“No more. Nope. I’m sticking to my vodka coke, none of that acid. Nope.” You said defiantly which cause your friends to laugh around you.

—

That’s how you ended up here, in the middle of the bar and dancing on a table. You were wearing a button down silk shirt that was previously, neatly tucked into your black denim skirt. But no, not now. As your friends encouraged you to drink more, the lot of you riled each other and convinced one another to dance on the tabletops. To be honest, it wasn’t too uncommon in bars that were frequented by college majors and students.

You had undone two bottons at the top of your shirt to show a hint of cleavage and the bottom section you had completely undone and tied up to create a skimpy crop top. You had pulled your skirt up and rolled the hem to tease the crowds that watched as you danced on the table.

You threw your head back with a laugh, calling out a few cheers here and there as you swallowed back your drink and that’s when you saw him walk in, suddenly the alcohol seemed to hit all at once and you quickly stepped down from the table.

Joel Miller, he lived a few doors down from you and you babysat his daughter, Sarah, frequently. As soon as Joel walked in with his brother, Tommy, whom you also recognised, Joel locked eyes with you and shot a smirk in your direction with a cocked eyebrow.

What was he doing here? Where was Sarah and who was looking after her? Not like that was any of your business. Out of all the local places, he chose this bar? Why? It was mainly just college students that frequented this place aside from the old regulars who were bitter there bar had been taken over by rowdy youngsters.

Your friend, Jen held her hand out to help you down from the table but the entire time your eyes were fixated from Joel, she looked over in that direction, caught who you were staring at and then she looked back at you with a shit-eating grin spread on her lips.

“Holy fuck, that’s him, isn’t it?!” She squealed, pulling your eyes from him long enough to grab your attention. “He’s hot.”

“Fuck. What’s he doing here?” You mumbled, glancing back over to him, his eyes were still on you and a smirk sat on his lips as he brought a drink up to his mouth. “And why’s he staring at me?! Fuck. It’s hot in here, I feel like I’m gonna pass out.” You rambled, shaking the thin fabric of your shirt, not that there was much material left covering you.

“He’s staring cause he thinks you’re hot, duh. Which for the record, I would stare too. Look at you!” She giggled, slapping your ass and you pushed her hand off you with a laugh. “He wants to fuck you!” She enthused in your ear and you shook your head as you blushed at her crass words.

“No way! I babysit his tween daughter. He’s probably just amused cause I’m normally a goody goody, like jeans and jumpers and being polite and well-mannered… you know not…” you gestured to your outfit.

“A total slut?” Jen offered up teasingly.

“Yeah yeah. I’m a massive whore, whatever. What shall I do?” You asked quietly, feeling nervous as you felt his eyes boring into the back of your skull.

“Give him a show; how long have you been saying your think he’s super hot?! I specifically remember being in this bar, not too long ago and you were drunk and crying and trying to message him to tell him how you feel.” Jen recalled and you cringed, you had just broken up with a somewhat serious boyfriend and you had a major crush on Joel, you still do but in your drunken and sad state you tried to message him to tell him. Luckily Jen had taken your phone away from you that night.

“Oh god, don’t remind me.” You whined. “Okay, fine, come and dance with me? I wanna see if he watches.” You giggled and with that, Jen lead you to the small dance floor in the bar.

The lights were low but every so often, one of the brightly coloured spotlights would catch your features. You danced with your friend, facing one another, you swayed your hips seductively as she held you close and you kept your eyes locked on Joel’s the entire time. He hadn’t taken his gaze from yours from the moment he walked in, not even to talk to Tommy. As they spoke you could sense the distraction from a distance away.

You kept up this game the entire evening, only stopping to occasionally get another drink or disappear to use the restroom. Joel watched you closely and he would be lying if he didn’t admit he wanted you, so badly. From the moment he walked in and saw you dancing the way you were, he wanted you. It was a stark contrast to the girl who babysat his daughter; the polite college student who called him ‘Mr. Miller’ and helped around his house if he worked late, just so it made things easier for him.

Joel adjusted himself in his jeans for what like the hundredth time that night and he gave his brother a quick hug before the younger male left the bar. He should go home, go and relieve Maria, Tommy’s wife, of babysitting duties for the night but Tommy insisted it was fine and he could pick up Sarah tomorrow morning. He sipped his whiskey and continued to watch the way your body swayed to the music, his eyes followed up your legs hungrily and he wanted to pull that impossibly short skirt up further and bury himself deep in you. It took everything within him to not groan aloud as you dropped to the floor in a low squat and bounced before bringing your body back up and shaking your ass.

Your friend’s around you giggled as you did it and they slapped at your ass playfully. You laughed and turned to face Joel again, swaying your behind onto the lap of one of your friend’s. It was fairly normal for you to dance like that with your best friend’s but they all knew tonight there was an ulterior motive, you were just doing anything to drive the older male insane.

You locked eyes with Joel and let your hands stroke up your body; from the hem of your shortened skirt, up, up, and up until they landed on your breasts. You danced filthily and gave them a small squeeze before your fingers landed in your hair and you ruffled it with your eyes closed. You knew you had caught the attention of quite a few men that night and you didn’t care, all you wanted was Joel’s gaze. And you had it.

That was it, Joel had enough. Enough of this cat and mouse game where your eyes chased each other hungrily and the male’s gaze practically undressed you in the middle of the bar. He closed the space between you and soon, he was stood in front of you and was hovering over your smaller frame.

You smiled sheepishly. “Oh! Hi Mr. Miller, didn’t see you there.” You lied with a giggle.

Jen had walked away, dragging your friend’s with her, leaving you alone as soon as Joel approached, she stood by the bar and gossiped with your closest friends.

“Not polite to lie, darlin’.” Joel’s Southern drawl only more apparent now he had a few drinks in his system. “I’ve seen the way you’ve been eye-fucking me all night. Moving that little body of yours in such a filthy way.” He groaned lowly and glanced down to his crotch.

You couldn’t help the way a smile spread across your lips, your gaze followed Joel’s and there it was, it was dark in the bar but even you couldn’t deny the way his hard member showed in jeans. You couldn’t quite believe you had that effect on the older male.

“Yeah well, maybe you shouldn’t be such a perv. I’ve just been dancing with my friends.” You laughed, reaching up on tiptoes to speak into the male’s ear as the music boomed around you.

“Oh is that so? So you grabbing your breasts in front of everyone… that’s what you normally get up to?” Joel asked lowly, his eyebrow raised in suspicion.

You replied with a smug smile and a simple shrug. Joel’s body thrummed with jealousy and he pulled you closer by gripping your hips.

“If you were mine, I would take you home and punish you so hard that every-time you sat down, you would think about my cock filling you up and my hand spanking your ass.” He growled into your ear and your body shuddered helplessly against him. Dancing for Joel all evening had definitely riled you up but now, with his fingers digging into the skin of your hips and his lips brushing against your ear with filthy words, you felt yourself get wetter.

“Joel—“ you whispered, a little more breathless than you originally anticipated. “I want you. So bad. I’ve wanted you since the first time we met.” You admitted, the alcohol making your lips a little looser than preferred.

“I’m going to go out to the bathrooms, meet me there in two minutes so it doesn’t look so obvious.” He said into your ear before pressing a chaste kiss to your cheek.

Joel left and you stood there dumbfounded and a little shaky, Jen came running over squealing drunkenly.

“What. The. Fuck!” She yelled above the music and you had to ground yourself for a moment.

“Fuck,” you breathed and placed a flat hand to your chest to calm down the hammering of your heart. “He uh, he wants to meet in the bathroom. I can’t fuck him in the bathroom!” You whined ludicrously. “That’s cheap and gross, right?!” You questioned, debating what to do.

“Girl, we’ve all been there.” Jen shrugged as you looked at her in shook. “Fine, not all of us but, I mean, I would go for it. When are you gonna get another chance to literally fuck the guy of your dreams!” She encouraged and that’s all you needed.

She gave you a final hug and watched you wander off out back to the bathrooms, you glanced back at her once and raised your middle finger in her direction as you saw her dry humping the air and moaning.

You laughed as you entered the bathroom area, just like the rest of the bar, the lights were dimmed and the music still boomed loudly throughout, only now it was mainly the bass that remained. Your head span as you gently pushed each door until, gotcha. Joel was stood in the stall, waiting for you, he pulled you in by your arm and just as you were in, he pushed you up against the stall door and locked it shut.

The kiss that he placed to your lips was messy and far from romantic but you could feel the unspoken words of want and lust, he held your hips and brought your legs around his waist to he could hold the weight of your body against the bathroom stall.

You moaned softly as you were lifted, Joel manoeuvred your body with such ease it made you gasp under him. Your fingers locked around the back of Joel’s neck as you kissed; you’re breathed in his scent from his heady, woody cologne to the vague taste of cigarette smoke and whiskey on his breath.

“We gotta be quick otherwise people will get suspicious.” Joel groaned frustratedly knowing he couldn’t have his full way you.

You nodded and with that, Joel was holding you up with one arm as his free hand went down to unbuckle his jeans and belt so he could free his hard length. Joel’s strength didn’t waiver for a second as he freed his cock, he hissed as the cool air hit his damp tip and with that he was pulling your panties to the side and pressing the head of his length into you.

You whimpered weakly as he pushed into you, inch by inch, your back arched off the bathroom stall’s door and you clumsily fumbled with the buttons of your shirt, you undid it fully to reveal the black lacy material of your bralet. It was sheer and your hardened nipples showed through the material, it made Joel’s mouth water and he bucked up into you with fervour.

A moan fell from your lips as he fucked up into, you felt cheap and dirty but it only made the whole experience hotter. Joel clamped a hand over your mouth and looked into your fearful eyes.

“You gotta be quiet for me, baby. Can’t have anyone come in here and hear us fuckin’.” He growled lowly into your ear and you nodded under him. “I’m gonna put you down, you face the door and stick that ass out for me to take.” He whispered and released your body from his grip, you took your position as instructed.

You felt Joel’s body behind you, he kicked your feet apart with his own and slammed your hips back to meet his cock. You bit on your lip to stop the moan that so badly wanted to escape. Joel held your hips tightly, your panties still bunched up to the sides and he fucked into your feverishly. The bar’s music echoed louder as someone entered the restroom and panic rose in your body, Joel brought a hand around to your mouth and shoved two fingers into your parted lips. You sucked on his digits to keep the sounds of arousal at bay and Joel breathily groaned lowly as you did so.

When the person left shortly after, he removed his fingers from your mouth and brought them down to circle your clit quickly. You gasped in a deep breath and your eyes snapped shut.

“G-going to, fuck, Joel.” You whined quietly not even being able to release the words from your mouth.

“Shhh, I know. That’s it, cum.” He hushed and snapped his hips forward roughly.

That was all the confirmation you needed and you were cumming around Joel’s length with shaky breaths, your fingers clenched against the bathroom stall door as you searched for leverage to keep yourself up right as Joel worked you through your orgasm.

When he was sure you had finished, he was pulling out of you and spinning you around, your vagina clenched around air with a low whine and he smirked at you.

“Wanna cum in these little panties.” Joel stated and you nodded eagerly. “Wanna see you back out there with my seed soaking into them for the rest of the night.”

Your skirt was hitched up around your stomach and Joel snatched your panties down so he could catch a better look at them.

He took your hand and wrapped it tightly around his cock; you soon got the idea and stroked it enthusiastically. Joel breathed deeply as you worked him to his orgasm and soon, he was spilling his seed over your pussy and the dark fabric of your panties. It was such a stark contrast, his white cum and your black panties. This was by far, the filthiest thing you had done.

Your name fell off Joel’s lips breathily as his cock twitched with the finally remnants of his orgasm and he kissed you quickly. You simply smiled at the man and pulled up your completely wrecked panties with a small shudder.

“You still okay to look after Sarah next Thursday evening? No wild parties planned?” He asked teasingly and you giggled with a shake of your head.

“No Mr. Miller, no parties planned at all.” You said sweetly, a complete opposite to your actions from mere minutes ago.

“Good girl. I’ll see you then, and once Sarah has gone to bed, maybe I could give you a little extra payment for being so good.” Joel winked, he kissed your cheek and with that, he left the bathroom stall and the bar completely.

You gave it a few minutes before you reappeared again. You checked your appearance in the mirror after you adjusted your skirt and shirt. Your hair was messy and your cheeks had a pink dusting on them. You looked fucked in all sense of the word and you knew it would be obvious to most people, not that you overly cared.

Jen clocked you as soon as you came out of the bathroom, you shot her a wink and blew her a kiss as you collected your bag and headed home. You needed to clean up, rest and crash for the night. Joel Miller had wrecked you and you didn’t care for a second, in fact, you were thrilled about it.

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#joel miller #joel miller x reader #joel miller x babysitter!reader #joel x reader #joel miller smut #pedro pascal

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