#butt we know he’s smth else

[sammyslovelys]

KINDA

KINDA???

MY BRICKIN’ SOCKS WERE BLOWN OFF AND I WAS TOSSED ACROSS THE ROOM WDYM😱😱😱😱

monkey mk KINDA SCARY

[faithst]

LIVESTREAMS WITH ZB1

pairing zb1 x idol!reader

genre mostly comedy, maybe fluff ? reader is in zb1 🤝

warnings mentions of food/drinks in hao and hanbin’s

notes hi anon, thank you for requesting ! i didn’t want this to be romantic as idol life is,, something.. but still, i hope you enjoy this ! 🫶

masterlist<3

— zhang hao

you’re playing drinking games

and before you ask, no. it’s not actual alcohol

you mix up the most unhinged drink combinations

like soy milk + tea + mountain dew 😃

the drink literally has particles in it

you play the ‘of course’ game and it turns ugly real quick

“you know that i’m better than you at everything, right?” zhanghao says, feeling proud

“of course! zhanghao.. you know that hanbin loves me more, right?” a smirk tugging on your lips that zhanghao so desperately wanted to slap off

loses the game because of that and has to chug down every drop (he’s ok tho i think)

“you’re lucky we’re live right now.”

— sung hanbin

since he was a barista, you guys are making drinks

he teaches you some tips and tricks but it’s more complicated than you think

his drink is so much more visually pleasing than yours although you both followed the same steps 😭

like pretty gradient colors that blend well together

but it’s expected cuz he’s a professional

you do a taste test

and his drink tastes like heaven 👍

you offered yours to him and he tries it

ngl, you were nervous about his opinion

“uh, it’s definitely a new experience.”

— seok matthew

some kind of crafts live

where you both are making those bead bracelets

you make ones for eachother and also the other members !

and matthew is all like ‘oh, you’re gonna love what i made for you’

he’s so proud of his creations

and at some point he accidentally spills every bead onto the table 😭

and you both take a look at eachother like 😐

and it becomes quiet for a whole 5 minutes as he picks everything back up

after that, you both continue making bracelets for the other members 🫶

“jiwoon hyung likes this color, i know him better than you!”

— shen ricky

painting live

you guys are making paintings to hang on eachothers walls

it’s actually pretty chill with ricky 👍

but then he accidentally splattered some paint onto his designer white shirt

his honest reaction to that: ☹️

but its okay, he can just buy a new one. maybe get a car too while he’s at it

since ricky is really good at arts

you wanted to paint him smth nice too

so you just put your autograph onto the canvas

he loves it tho and keeps it in his room 😔

“i can sell this!”

— park gunwook

workout stream

it was actually supposed to be a live for gunwook and matthew

but matthew had to do smth else

so you offered to accompany gunwook instead !

gunwook shares his workout tips and you just nod and agree

you both share your workout routines and people make articles abt them 🫢

‘zb1’s gunwook and y/n workout routine: is it effective?’

oh and you also get thirst trap edits bcuz of this

flaunting your muscles and abs and stuff idk 😭

“do you guys wanna know the secret to my godly physique?”

— kim taerae

from the content we have now..

it’s 100% a karaoke live

wbk he loves singing and he wanted to invite you to ‘taerae show #2’

has his anpanman guitar, ready at hand 🤝

you both have a blast singing and taerae becomes main rapper at some point

he’s so immersed in the ballad songs, he prolly starts crying for effects 😔

biggest hypeman

like he’s all ‘OH MY GOD WOAHHHH’

and he also harmonises w you

don’t be surprised when you get a compilation of ‘y/n and taerae: 5th gen main vocals’

“100 points?! i’m so good!”

— kim gyuvin

q&a stream

answering fan questions and basically fan service

“is a butt one or two?”

gyuvin actually thinks about it for a second and is like “oh my god.” 😭

it got too confusing though so you continued reading the comments

someone asked what he did today and he started thinking

“uh..” “sorry, i forgot.” you joke, making gyuvin stare daggers to you 🫢

he looks back to the screen

and with a wide smile he said

“i’m sorry zerose! i think we have to end the live here. thank you for watching!”

— kim jiwoong

makeup stream

where you do his makeup

and he’s giving you those eyes yk 👀

the comments are going crazy bcuz of it

and when you do his lips, he smiles and it curves so perfectly (ahdguajskshaikahdh)

you accidentally went overboard with the glitter

but jiwoong pulls off everything so it still looks amazing

everyone loves what you did and your makeup style is trending 👍

“i think some glitter got stuck in my eye.”

— han yujin

i don’t know why but you both are face painting

but instead of face painting on yourselves, you face paint eachother

“i’m gonna make you into a piece of art” he says as he paints a streak onto your face

he stops to take a step back and look at everything from a bigger picture

and bursts into laughter 😃

you’re so worried abt what he did to you

he tries to regain his composure but laughs every few seconds

“what’s wrong? what did you do?” “nothing! i made you look very.. cool.” 😁

and then you look into a mirror and you look like shrek's offspring (yes, you get turned into a meme)

“this is my best piece yet! should i leave my signature too?”

© keiwook

[m1ckeyb3rry]

Nagi's butt.

you know this is only tangentially related but it reminded me that something i’ve always found funny is that everyone finds it super unrealistic that nagi has really defined muscles but based on what we know about him it actually makes sense for him to look that way because muscle DEFINITION is more related to body fat percentage than anything. so like that’s why body builders go on cycles of bulking/cutting and why they’re often very hefty looking most of the time — in order to build muscle at that pace, you have to eat a shit ton of food or else your body will actually burn your muscles for energy as well as fat, so they’ll bulk in order to have enough calories to lift heavy, and then when they want to look aesthetic (ex for competitions) they’ll cut their food intake so that their body fat percentage rapidly drops and the muscles that they’ve built become visible!! this is especially true for abs LMAOO back in high school my best friend competed in gymnastics nationally and also rode horses but she never had incredibly visible abs. meanwhile my younger brother literally just runs cross country and his abs are crazy despite the fact that he never trains them but it’s literally because his body fat percentage is so low that they’re always visible — this is why exercises designed to target your abs to make your waist narrower or give you a six pack do not really work and are the cause of many people giving up on exercising (although i always say health benefits >>> aesthetics but eh everyone has their reasons)

anyways so given nagi’s general dissatisfaction with eating he probably has a CRAZY low body fat percentage (likely too low to even maintain his body weight until reo/bllk/chris prince intervened) which means whatever muscles he does have will be incredibly visible as there’s literally nothing to cover them. this is actually kinda evident in the earlier parts of the manga — if you compare second selection-era nagi with, say, reo, zantetsu, or karasu (since i know off the top of my head that we have shirtless panels of all three of them either from the main manga or epinagi and they’re in a similar height range — isagi/chigiri are much smaller so they don’t serve as good comparisons and kunigami/barou are on a diff level entirely LMAOO) at around the same time, you’ll see that each individual muscle of nagi’s is more defined, but all three of the formerly mentioned characters are broader and have bigger chests/biceps/thighs than nagi does as they all likely eat more than he does in a day. this difference is mitigated as the series goes on and nagi is probably forced to gets a better nutrition plan as well as exercises a lot more but uhhh yeah. actually idrk what the point of all of that was pretend i said smth profound 😭

ANWAYS yeah he def gets his squat reps in 🙂‍↕️ he looks so good in the manshine kit that i can almost forgive the british for everything they’ve done to my ancestors

[blackstarchanx3new]

FSR rambles wanna know what's funnier than 24? ...25

Huh so Vio's confusion from earlier makes a lot more sense.

Link was shutting them off from listening much again...

Nice going Link.

I'm sure this isn't causing massive communication issues or smth...

I think this just speaks to how LITTLE Link trusts Vio to sympathize with his mental health struggles that he just cuts him out of it all together.

Also the dialogue here for the middle panel:

Vio doesn't KNOW for a fact Blue was in on those conversations...but it's a fact he WAS thus him being there in the visual representation. Vio isn't actually aware of Blue being in on it.

I'm sure he's at the point of questioning that though...

I wouldn't say it's Blue and Green with trust issues Red, it's Link X'D

And he for sure DOES distrust you.

Furthering the point Link is broken thus the team is broken.

Shadow drops by cause the convo with Zelda is done (Jeez it's been awhile since I've looked at these pages lmao)

And Vio asks about his hair which...FINALLY SOMEONE SAID IT.

Answer a question with a question...nice one Shadow Link. 🙄

He's very sensitive about the ganon hair haha.

Which is why I think his questioning on if Vio LIKES IT is genuine even if it's there to steer the convo somewhere else.

Vio's too smart.

Though, Red weirdly wants vio to stfu about actually ASKING...Which uh...

I'd like to remind you of THIS PANEL where Link's purposely being obtuse about the Triforce on his own hand after their Triforce discussion.

Then we get to shitpost territory with Shadow burying the lead on Dark to talk about how he and Green had sex. Which just...

OKAY SHADOW X'D

Vio's response is...interesting.

I think this is where a lot of people might have realized this is a poly story lmfao.

Vio gives no fucks in fact he seems INTO IT despite him saying he "Doesn't care" sure buddy.

Vio and Shadow's "Relationship" is up in the air on what the hell it even IS at this point and Vio is butt at hiding the fact he loves Green soooo.

Works out for both that they like Green. XD

Red's over here losing his shit.

Shadow AGAIN brushes over Dark just calling him someone they need to be introduced to....Lmfao.

Vio's mention of looking for Blue is kinda sweet. He cares. Shadow on the other hand knows Dark's handling it so is fine with leaving poor blue 😭

And red.

lmfao. Bye Red.

Genuinely giving him ANYTHING to do early on was...DIFFICULT.

I have a story thread for him but BUILDING to that was...Not fun for his character X'D

So often he got shafted but I hope when he has his time to shine people enjoy it haha.

Sad boy hours.

Blue's back though!

...This is so random but I'm so glad I started doing colored text boxes I gotta THINK who's talking reading back on these X'DDDD

Green's so sweet giving Blue a lil hug.

Poor Green's frazzled out of his mind and Blue's just struggling to talk emotions.

They're a mess. X'D

This entire interaction is so funny to me.

"What did he DO...?" GREEN. WHAT DO YOU THINK!?

I think Blue's justified in being a LITTLE irked that this weird curse entity was sent to get him instead of one of his teammates X'D

but also: they had no idea where he ran off too lmfao. Dark Link's got a Link radar he can find him easy.

One of those things where there was no GOOD solution to this and Green did the best he could, but Blue's frustration imo is still very justified.

Poor Green trying to rationalize his choices and Blue's just like "Stfu"

And smacks Dark link X'D

Poor Dark.

"you look like a dumbass with a squid on his head" might be one of my favorite FSR blue lines.

Green's addition of "i feel like a dumbass" is so stupid XDDD

Green's beyond strung out just letting Dark sit on his head while him and Blue talk about wtf they're gonna do about this.

It's really fun looking back into this transition period where half the cast knew about Dark and the others didn't really.

I remember wanting to push past it quickly because I wanted to get to juicy territory and interactions.

...I love Dark hugging Green's hair. He's so cute.

it's worth mentioning AGAIN that Green and Blue have VERY DIFFRENT experiences with Dark with EACH OTHER but ESPECIALLY VIO.

Dark TORTURED that dude lmfao.

Vio met ALPHA BUILD DARK LINK LMFAO

Green chastising Dark for doing his typical shit with Blue lmfao.

HE TRIED GREEN HE REALLY DID.

"Blue is the color of difficult" will now proceed to live rent free in Blue's mind X'DDDD

I'm sure I've mentioned it but Dark Link struggles to speak properly in this form. (it's a form that doesn't require him much effort or energy to maintain thus...doesn't have a lot of "Features" lmfao.)

Blue pulls Dark off poor Green's head to give him head scratches.

I'd panic if I sat on Blue's bare thighs too Dark. Look at him go polite gentleman.

Blue's being HONEST with his FEELInGS.

What a treat.

Dark smacked some sense into him during that fight hah.

Poor Blue has anxiety about being Link now. Poor dude.

Blue just wants to get intros over and done with knowing stuff's gonna be hard. But uhhh....

Dark Link isn't a fan.

Lmfao.

Didn't have him turn back into his hylian form to sit in Blue's lap wym.

Poor Dark doesn't wanna do stuff with people rn. he's burnt out.

Which...FAIR.

Dude had a meltdown with Blue he's exhausted.

Green's genuine horror paired with "WHAT DID YOU DO!?" just reminds me of that scene from the Cuphead show where King Dice shouts the same thing X"DDD

Though: it's kinda sad that Dark was 100% right in being nervous/hesitant to meet the others...

Green's protective Blue that's his baby!

Obligatory Dark says smth fucking weird cause it's funny.

Green's willing to let Dark have a break while...Blue has a good point too.

Poor Green doesn't get the peace he wants. 😭

meanwhile Dark's just blatantly staring at Blue X'D And he's put off by it.

Blue...c'mere I got a secret-

HE LIKES YOU-

Being a dick won't push him away Blue. He's in love with VAATI you're a drop in the bucket in terms of rudeness.

it's been established: Dark doesn't know how to handle being PERSEIVED at the moment. Especially by the Links. He's still super shy.

Poor Dark, blue makes fun of his stutter. 😭

Green rightfully tells him off

Dark holding their hands is so sweet.

He's someone that holds his heart on his sleeve to his own detriment. Just wanting them to know he's happy to be with them and that the day is nice (presumably because he's with them.)

Blue's being a bit of a negative butt but concedes a bit when Green says he's happy too.

Him poofing back to being his "Squid" form on Green's face just personally is funny.

It's so silly and cements he has ZERO idea of personal space.

It's even worse for Green because Green's scared of tentacles. 😭 (wanna have that brought up at some point...but it's due to the vaati fight)

Lmfao. Red you're so annoying.

"ARE WE THERE YET!?"

Literally third wheeling the Vidow X'DD

Vio out here starting shit lmfao.

Shadow knows too.

LMFAO Vio trying to find solutions is uh...KINDA an issue now hah.

He's super out of the loop about the curse now so...ouch.

Vio's being a bit of a bitch boy about it because he's bitter.

Reasonably so but ooomf.

Vio my duuuude...pls c'mon man. Act mature. 😭

Vio casually tipping right over Blue's current anxieties about going back to that. Which...Blue has zero self control so NOW WE'RE DEEP IN SHIT LMFAO.

And Vio's response is FAIR.

Link cut him out so much he's missing a FUCK ton of context about how BAD it was for everyone.

NICE GOING LINK.

Blue's ALSO pretty justified in being PAST the point of WANTING to discuss things with Vio due to how dismissive he's been about their pain.

it's a self fulfilling cycle of bullshit they've trapped themselves in.

Blue really fucked up in mentioning that Link's basically NOT gonna happen anymore in saying "We're not compatible as a person"

Lmfao not red hiding behind the couch. Coward, Vio feels ALONE right now in wanting to return to being Link, and you're the only one VAGLEY on his side. And instead of trying to mediate or help he just leaves Vio to get more and more defensive as Blue yells at him till he runs away to Link's room.

Well damn.

Everyone's expressions after Vio throws his tantrum is...INTERESTING.

Green's HORRIFIED and he's glitching WAY more than before.

Blue's in shock. Probably at how CHILDISH that response was not expecting vio to blow up at him back.

Shadow's also equally horrified as Green.

Red...Red's weird.

Red just stares kind of unfazed. Mild surprise maybe.

"huh...weird" kind of face.

That's quickly brushed by though with Green starting to glitch WORSE.

Blue's concerned.

Green starts gooping. And not in the fun way.

Blue tries to console him and gets...Corrupted for a lack of a better term.

His arm corrupting into Green's.

Link's body contortions and glitching are real similar to this.

It's been shown a few times that their mental state affects their appearance, but NOW it can affect OTHERS appearances.

Green at this point has been pushed to stress and anxiety till he broke poor guy, he's been worried about everyone's safety and been trying to do what would help them and it just hasn't worked out.

Shadow's stuck not sure what to do. As a Shadow he was forced to do NOTHING while Link had moments like this.

Blue snaps him out of it taking charge.

I've always considered Blue second in command. ESPECIALLY in FSR.

He was the only other color Link trusted enough to confide in other than Green and able to pull his head out of his butt to help Green AND Vio in this situation.

Blue's VERY aware of WHY Green's panicking rn. (he's worried vio's going to harm himself in some way...not a stretch to make that assumption and it's brought up later but YEAH that's why he freaked out.)

Vio just needed to have a bitch fit in his room for a bit though and didn't mean to cause that fear.

If he knew I don't think he would have left quite in that way.

but again: Link kinda shot them in the foot leaving half the team aware of shit and the other half NOT.

Either way Shadow's got a job to do.

Lmfao

"Damn it link... you ass" makes me laugh. Blue's so terrible with words.

Turns out Blue mainly was on team "let's not be link!" BECAUSE he was worried about Green having too much shit on his shoulders.

HE WASN'T WRONG.

Some interesting thoughts there pal.

I've always wondered what kind of pressure Green must have felt to be LIKE Link and also be the leader.

Like that's double pressure there.

Being link but BETTER while only being a 1/4th of him sounds like such a task weighing his mentality down.

He's only assigned to that role because...well he's wearing GREEN. not really because of any other reason.

He's just as dumb as the other three.

I've always found it interesting, usually the leader type characters are the Vio's of the group.

Book smart and a bit stuck up.

but instead we get green and...I've joked he's diet Link but fr lol he KINDA IS.

What he lacks makes his personality more so than what he HAS.

His selfishness and ego getting removed making him IMEDIATELY want to work together for instance.

Anyway green analysis aside, Blue acknowledging he fucked up here is good.

The completely black background making you ONLY focus on these two talking was for good reason, Green's weird word bubbles too.

Reality feels like it's breaking around them and if this was voice acted I imagine Green's voice sounding distorted and disjointed here.

Like this is just his thoughts repeating to himself about what Link BEGGED him to do.

Both their glitching just getting worse as the paneling goes by.

Green's all sorts of fucked up. over leaving the other three because he was angry at them. So much guilt is harbored there now over that action.

Also I just wanna point out how brave Blue is.

Touching Green is PAINFUL for him, he yanked his hand back when he touched him initially. He also SAW the corruption it left behind and still chose to hug him here.

Like for all he knows they could become that Link monster thing again but he cares more about Green than that.

Blue's the goat.

Everyone telling Green stuff he's needed to hear.

Even Dark came out to help.

Dark's lines are super fun just because mmmmm it gets into Dark and Green's relationship and i like Darkgreen XD

Green did MASSIVELY change Dark's mission by appealing to his desire to be a hero and changing his mind.

Without Green the others would be SO COOKED.

Dark doesn't consider his mission a failure because he changed course a little and neither should Green.

They're very sweet for each other. QuQ

Not them slapping each other with pillows like children. 😭

Vio, Shadow, you both are too old for this shit.

I flip flop between finding this scene funny or disturbing.

I mean at the end of the day it's a couple smacking the shit out of each other due to their emotional issues. 😭 That's not healthy.

But also...the imagery is so silly looking and they're not actually HURTING each other.

Idk I feel like you could look at it either way.

Shadow mentions it here, but Green was worried about Vio's physical safety. Which....Vio doesn't get. Because Link wanting to game end himself has been NOT shared with him.

Vio's deep in his own insecurity atm.

This is a reference to what was said in the OG manga , that everyone was holding Vio back buuuut our purple buddy feels differently.

Especially with how he feels really bad rejection at the moment.

Vio wrongly assumes people don't want to be link because HE'S THERE. Which isn't true.

Shadow feels bad cause a lot of their issues are wrapped up in the whole Vidow arc of the manga lmfao.

Shadow feeling his OWN guilt over waking Link up which...Dark called it just sayin-

Also points out that Blue "is an ass" but yeah Blue could have worded himself better here. X'D

...We reached the image cap ouch. X'D

Continued vidow later on muahah.

[jack-kellys]

would u change anything about the jack and crutchie dynamic? how would u portray C? i would love to see a production where hes a little less sunshine and a little more realist (which i think uksies did well) buttttt i know thats your man so gimme some thoughts

- @we-are-inevitable ✨

how ~i~ would direct crutchie. ooough. major. hi again jac

give me some newsies issues and ill. i'll-

so i would cast him a year older than jack, or like. he turns 18 a few months before jack or smth. he just seems to understand things already that jack's whole arc brings him to at the end of the show. "I don't need folks. I got friends." takes jack two hours and a fifteen minute intermission to figure that one out. brotha.

i think making crutchie the only guy in the play who really knows what and how things are going to happen is really... just. makes him interesting. his sense of self-awareness, his personal knowledge of who he is and what he stands for- the wild thing abt him is he already. knows. crutchie stands for his friends. it's why initially he isn't for striking ("let's hit the streets while we still can") bc he knows any other action is going to get his friends hurt... but it's also why he's good with it pretty soon after- well, if they are gonna do this, he's not letting his family do it alone/without him... even if he knows what's probably going to happen to him afterward. give me a crutchie with foresight who doesn't ignore it, per se, but whose moral backbone refuses to make him a coward. (its why he and davey r like🤞🏼 to me.)

i would also let him fight. in the fight choreo. he's winning to morris delancey i do not CARE. i'm having the reason he gets caught be him shoving the jacobs out and away. because crutchie already knewwww. from the moment of "you mean like a strike?" what was goin down.

(i would also make the "romeo! finch!" not be a reaching out, but a "get the fuck out of here" wild gesture. as long as crutchie takes center, no one else is getting hauled through downtown in a police wagon.)

i also think that whenever race makes his little comments to davey crutchie is the one gesturing for him to back off, bc i think it's fun when racer and crutchie butt heads and i rly adore crutchie seeing davey and knowing his potential like. immediately. i think i'd have them be talking a lot in staging it- uksies does this already if ur looking for it, but it's so key to me.

tl;dr, crutchie is the most experienced person at the lodge, and i think it should show. and also like. u can debate me on that? that jack's more experienced or is portrayed to be since he's the leader, but... tell me why jack learns friends are equivilent to family when crutchie knew that shit at 00:00:00 in the musical. lmk. crutchie has almost prophetic knowledge in his brain ok he knows newsies the musical as well as us. i think that's fascinating.

also this is unrelated but the way matthew duckett uses the crutch as a true extension of himself is unlike any crutchie we might ever have again. go watch the boot again and just watch him. he points with it, gestures with it, sits in interesting ways, like. his comfortability with his body is smth crutchie needs to have bc he knows himself, more than the rest know themselves. im so serious.

[jazeswhbhaven]

ik i asked for this when i sent my first ask but i gagged my head off imagining the consistency. your description hit me so hard its so accurate omg. im rlly happy any way cuz that was the answer i was hoping for n im glad we agree🤝

that was just gag 1. gag 2 hit me at the fishy smell part. i didnt unlock his butt story cuz no offense to peeps who like doing it but the idea of eating ass makes me sick to my stomach n i was scared mc was gonna lick his butthole or smth n i ended up steering clear from it just in case they did. now im fuckin grateful i didnt read it haha

n yk? it would be hell for me to be around beel too cuz i die from nausea n usually gag when smth or someone smells bad💀n beel doesnt smell good like the game says i swear it on my honor he doesnt. n ofc theres the flies n bugs of all kinds me yeet myself outta my pants but flies land on trash n crap n dead stuff so no thanks. stay away beel n stay away flies. shoo!

if you gagged from my description, my job has been done and while i apologize for grossing you out, i am happy my descriptions were detailed enough to paint the picture lol

oh yeah one of these days mc is probably gonna eat ass unless i'm forgetting if there's a card where they do that...but yes....in t h e o r y for me? let's go, groceries. irl??? oh n o thanks someone else can enjoy that activity 😭

in the 5 kings card, they bring up Beel's smell again and how mc was aroused by it and i really wanna know how he smells canon wise. because of the yellow hair i always think of corn or bread or pudding or a pineapple that's very very ripe possibly overripe.

but watch him smell like overripen fruit that's very close to expiration sprinkled with some kind of cinnamon or spice.

the worst case scenario is that he smells like throw up (sorry) because of all foods/spices/smells combined into one

but honestly??? if he does smell like the latter? i'm changing my fave again because i simply COULD NOT lol

[decentishoutsidersthoughts]

Everyone says that Darry would love Life360. Which, yeah, but Darry would adore Google Classroom even more. You mean he gets notifications, can message Pony's teachers asking if his kid brother can do extra credit (poor Pony) AND see real time assignment turn ins from his phone? You bet your butt that's the first thing he's looking at during lunch time.

It's also the source of his and Pony's arguments. Poor Ponyboy the second he gets home Darry's in his face about "Why haven't you turned in this assignment that was due at 8:00 am today?!." And Ponyboy's like "????I did????" and Darry doesn't believe him until the notification pings confirming Ponyboy was right.

Oh my god this is so real. This man unintentionally keeps track of Ponyboy’s due dates for him because he’s constantly on his ass about it. I can just imagine him having a deadline he’s super stressed about it and Darry keeps bringing it up until Ponyboy is like ‘OH MY GOD I KNOW-‘ and cries or smth (this has happened with me and my parents more than once lol)

Idk if everyone else’s school district does this, but we have a program called ParentVue where parents can see their kids grades and also an itemized list of every assignment and what grade they got on it and if it’s missing. And I know so many people who get in trouble cause a teacher puts a grade in wrong and then takes weeks to fix it. And I can just imagine that happening to poor Ponyboy. He has Darry constantly asking why he has a C in history and he keeps promising it’s handled but it takes weeks for him to actually be able to prove he handled it 😭

[shrimpsalot]

Oh gawd I dreamt of quite a weird AU(?) last night so yapping ahead!!

So for whatever reason instead of getting a full ss3, we just get random episodes here and there about their 11th-12th year? Randy and Howard's relationship r still ride or die but they managed to form a bigger friend circle with Theresa, Debbie, Julian, Bucky and Rachel and often have lunch together in a more darker gloomier version of the cafeteria (think it's just my irl school cafeteria that got projected into my dreams 😭 but for shits and giggles let's say Slimovitz ran out of budget to fix it completely after another monster attack). Unfortunately there was an assignment in class that put Howard and Debbie in the same group, idk about everyone else, and they have to research about stuff like Ninja's Japan origins, tactics, fighting techniques, types of weapons he used etc. Ofc no one knows it better than randy (and kinda howard) so when they were fighting about it during lunch, Randy just casually went "no actually because if you maneuver your body like that you wouldn't ensure a safe landing and might twist your ankle, also the chain sickle is used more as a defensive weapon such as blocking a sword, locking the opponent's weapon in place and potentially yanking it towards you, and did you know smoke bombs are crafted wit-" accidentally yapping about things Nomicon taught him until Howard cuts in to save his butt "see Debbie, even Cunningham's more knowledgeable about the ninja you sure you've been studying him properly for your reports?" which re-enabled their argument and divert the attention away from randy(which he's gonna thank Howard for later). A bit of time later an attack happen in town while they were working on the assignment in the cafeteria after school, Randy ofc had to leave but it'd be suspicious so he made an excuse maybe smth along the lines of they can learn more by watching the ninja fight and everyon agreed. Again he separated from them mid-walk to do some ninja-ing, which worried theresa that he's nowhere to be seen while Howard and Debbie is still fighting about their research. Howard couldn't take it anymore as well as lowkey bothered by Theresa so he called randy to prove that he's safe, AND to call for backup on his ninja knowledge. The phone call was the same vibe as ones in the show and while Howard was too engrossed on the convo, Ninja!Randy holding the phone answering while fighting got launched backwards to the front of the alleyway where the group was but randy didn't see them so he was unaware that they heard the phone convo. When he was finished and transformed back, he immediately ran into them after turning a corner and the first thing he said is "heeyyyy uh so I got a lil lost where were you guys? Ahaha" all for Debbie to respond with a shocked expression "YOU'RE the ninja?!?"

"what?? Nooooo I I am definitely not the Ninja psshh what makes you say that? I'm just a lil ol me Randy that's right there's no ninja here-", Theresa then explained they overheard his phone call and Randy gave in, only to be slightly offended to see Bucky looking defeated and handing Rachel $5. Cartoon scene cut and we see randy on his hands and knees in front of debbie(nothing too serious its like those comedy anime gags type of pose)

"What a sight. An 800 year old ninja vs the power of journalism." Bucky tries to lighten up the mood. Randy is begging Debbie not to write about this (for the second time) and she's having a hard time accepting (again) so she asked "what if I do write it? What would you do?" making randy look up at her with a serious face without saying anything, causing slight misunderstanding

"y-you're gonna erase me?!"

"what?? No ofc not I was just gonna mind wipe you!!!"

"mind wipe?"

"uh I mean-"

"what, by using that book that you sometimes drool on while being unconscious?"

"W-what book?-"

"is that like an 800 year old ancient ninja book of wisdom?"

"HOW ARE YOU STILL GOOD AT THIS???"

"wait 'still'?"

"CUNNINGHAM WILL YOU STOP TALKING SHE FEEDS ON YOUR ANSWERS" Howard shouted from the side

"do you mean you've mind wiped me before??"

"huh is it that time in 9th grade where you broadcasted to the whole town that he's the ninja which turned out to be false?" Rachel questioned

"I did what in 9th grade?????"

"... Debbie please" Randy pleaded

"Randy this is ridiculous" Debbie pinched her nose bridge "then why don't you just mind wipe us this time?"

"um..."

"because you can't or because the book will get mad at you?"

"enough with the mind wipe how did YOU know he was the ninja Rachel?" Howard saving randy once again

"well that time I got turned into a monster and the Ninja made me an apology song, it sounded awfully familiar to randy during music class so I just guessed, plus whenever we hang out and there's an emergency he's always the first one to disappear on us"

"and you gotta admit Randy's jokes are as bad as the ninja's " Bucky chimed in

The mood between them improved so debbie eventually agreed because they're friends for the past year or so, and that's when I started to wake up :') one more weird thing is the ninja in my dream didn't have a red scarf around his neck, it's more like black-blue color and idk maybe he looks cooler that way? At least it is in my dream

Thank u for reading I'll think about whether to make this into a real AU or not 😭😭 Edit: i just realized i dreamt of Julian but the entire time he was standing behind theresa, also worrying about randy but idk why he didnt do anything else :')

[oh-shtars]

having an adult voice come out of a baby goat is like if morgan freeman voiced the ppg

Yeaaaaah, now that you’ve put that image in my head, it sums it up pretty well. Idk why they even made him talk if he’s not going to say anything worth it that is not just comedy relief.

Plenty of animal sidekicks in the past have been comedic, but at least they actually form some sort of bond with their MC and help out in a significant way.

Djali, Esmeralda’s goat, can’t speak but at least he’s actually tried helping her out. He helps her with her shows and even headbutts Phoebus when he’s bothering Esmeralda.

Even Heihei, as stupid as he is, even the chicken had some sort of arc of learning not to eat everything in sight and return Te fiti’s heart when it almost fell off the boat.

Even the woodland animals in Snow White (the VERY FIRST MOVIE), did something to help the princess by rushing to the 7 dwarves for help when the Evil Queen poisoned her.

Even PASCAL has always supported and had Rapunzel’s back. He’s shown that’s he’s had enough with Mother Gothel and is responsible with her falling out the tower’s window.

What is Valentino’s excuse? Ever since he could talk, he never actually shares any endearing moments with Asha that I could remember. It’s all BUTTS and JOKES that ever came out of his mouth.

Sure, he’s spit a tongue out to Magnifico but what else really? Anything significant at all?

There was one time he talked to the horses for them to escape, but dude, I’m pretty sure they would let Asha’s family ride them even if he didn’t. Even that scenario was treated more like a joke rather than Valentino actually helping.

(I don’t remember the exact quote, but he said smth to the horses of “act dumb if they ask any questions”?? But they’re horses… Who’s going to ask them?)

He didn’t even do much in the final battle. Where was he in the final battle? I forgot. We could remove him from the movie and it will still play out the exact same.

I don’t even know why they even gave him a deep voice and expect it to be funny. Maybe it would catch people off-guard when first watching it, but even then, they spoiled the exact scene in the trailer anyway. What reactions did they expect from people who already know what he sounds like?

(Srry for taking too long to answer this ask and for the mini rant)

[aquz]

hihi!! i wanted to request a post where the reader is in the basketball club with ace, floyd, + jamil. the reader is like tall and while they were doing basketball practice they tried to do a dunk but ended up making the hoop fall on them?? (platonic or romantic, your choice) smth funny i thought about but u dont have to do it lol

tall reader breaks the basketball clubs hoop

✮ as the title suggests.... reader tries to dunk and then breaks the hoop. how will the boys react?

✮ ace trappola, floyd leech, jamil viper.

✮ gender neutral reader, can be read as platonic or romantic, reader is tall but nothing else specified, reader embarrasses themself (?)

as part of practice, you really wanted to work on your dunks. after all, you and floyd were in a competition to see who could do the most dunks before the end of the season. ace and jamil (hesitation on jamil's part.... but god damn it, ace would not leave him alone) placed bets on who they thought would win.

well, as you were practicing, you messed up somehow. losing your footing, you barely even got the ball into the hoop before you hit it hard and came crashing down, falling flat on your butt. as you laughed and tried ro recover from your stumble, you heard a squeak. you didn't even have time to look up before the hoop fell off the backboard and came crashing down on top of you. it hit your head before sliding its way around you, like a ring in ring toss.

JAMIL was the first to react, reflexes from being trained as kalim's bodyguard. he came running to you, dropping his ball, and he crouched down, removing the hoop and asking if you were alright... obviously you hit your head real hard and it was a mystery how you didn't pass out or something. jamil offered to take you to the nurse before remembering the nurse had gone home for the day. tch.

ACE is next, as jamil sits you down, ace grabs you water and an ice pack... as per jamil's request. ace is giggling the entire time. as he brings you stuff the help you recover, he's still laughing until he sees the bruise on your head forming. yikes. as funny as that was... that had to hurt. ace doesn't know how else to help you so he sits with you and you both talk about past sports injuries, he hopes it takes your mind off the pain but he's actually kinda making it worse... haaaah.

FLOYD, the crazy person he is, knows that it hurt and thinks it's hilarious. also, he got it on camera?! actual blackmail. he threatens to send it to everyone and post it on mostro lounge's offical social media page... (how does he have access? azul locked him out??? we will never know) but he's probably gonna make your life ten time more painful for the next few days. he also gives you some bogus advice, let's hope you're not gullible. he'll be like, "oh! [name]! we have this sea remedy for bruising... if your bruise is bad, rub a jellyfish on it~ the sting means it's working!" and he might even get jade to play along. he definitely once brought you a frozen fish to put on your bruise instead of an ice pack because he thought it was funny. jamil scolds him all the time but he literally DOES NOT LISTEN.

[greenokapi]

So I ran into this guy today with a clear case of ‘Main Character Syndrome’.

I was going grocery shopping with grandma, as we were heading into the store we realized I forgot something in the car so we turned around to go get it.

As we get to the car we noticed this other car who’d parked behind us. Now, the parking lot had a lot of free spaces to park and the parking spaces themselves were like… parking space sized? By which I mean they weren’t unusually small or anything just, you know, standard parking spaces.

This guy who parked behind us was touching our car, like… front of his car touching the back of our car, like full on in our car’s butt… like… if this had been a tranformers fanfic there would be actual rimming happening… I apologize for making you read that…

Anyway, guy gets out of his car and grandma’s like ‘Hey could you maybe back up a bit so you aren’t literally touching my car?’ But you know, said in a polite grandma way… and Icelandic…

The guy stands there for a moment, open mouth chewing his gum and looking at grandma like she’d just demanded his wallet or something before rolling his eyes and getting back into his car to back up a bit.

He backs up like around maybe half a meter (or two feet-ish for you Americans) before getting back out of his car. Grandma still thinks he’s very close but whatever, he’s not touching her car anymore so this is fine.

We get the thing we’d forgotten from the front and then start making our way inside the store again and the guy yells after us ‘Aren’t you gonna open the boot?’ We turn around all ??? And he again angrily demands why why didn’t open the boot, as if he only backed away his half a meter so we could squeeze in and get smth out of the back of the car?

Grandma tells him ‘When we’re done shopping’ and we walk off, he soon stomps past us into the store and, well nothing else happened after that but I’m just like… my guy… my dude… my esteemed gentleman… what the fuck??

[wqxianvents]

// CONTAINS COMMENTARY AND PICTURES OF TEARS OF THEMIS NEW EVENT: “ENDURING LIGHT.”

This is only the Prologue section I talk about in this one, aha and I ALRWDY HAVE SM TO TALK ABTR

first of all, another group event of course, you love to see it and they’re being dorks but in a cooler way already 💃 also btw happy new year!! hope it’s been treating y’all well already :]<3

okay so i’m going into this event basically being sus of everyone at this point LMAO, i don’t even trust our boys tbh - anything could happen and i’m excited! everytime there’s a big event i always am like “ugh… not another one i have to drain energy into and it isn’t even that interesting” (respectfully). like the last one on the train? i didn’t really care much about it, the only things that interested me were nxx being all up on eachother (exaggerating)

basically i prepare myself to be disappointed, which might sound messed up but tbh the events have only been hittin recently (for me) because of the fact that they’re not having nxx be at eachother’s throats lol. (not saying the past ones weren’t good though and that none of the recent ones were a miss bc again, i didnt fully enjoy the train event)

this one already had me though 😭 got me gagged, the ui is so fucking cool - the card system?? the OUTFITS make me wanna CHOMP my phone (esp luke’s… smth- smth abt it is just. hm, delectable). also baby davis always appearing is so cute his little “hello, miss… uh, i mean, little boss!” LMAO that is my son!!!

ANYGAYS we always have to start off with Marius talking about something going on ‘round town, intended to invite his lovely lady but of course the boys have to interrupt and say hey, where is our invitation??? 🤗 you love to see it

jxjddh “i didn’t ask you guys” LMFAO HE IS SO DONEEE - artem, vyn: “oh really? let me hit you with this comeback. give me my invitation.”, like why are they so angy ARENT YALL RICH? GET YOUR OWN INVITATION 😭😭 i just adore the difference here though like, luke is the one purely excited here and not just “oh, aha, trying to get alone with rosa? how about: no.” but vyn is like 😭 “okay, shit, thanks for the invitation, marius.”

ARTEM MINDING HIS OWN BUSINESS BY HIS COMPUTER AND DECIDING TO INSERT HIMSELF INTO THE CONVERSATIONNN. they’re silly billies.

of course we needed our typical marluke banner 🥺

“Without us, who would you team up with?” did he just call marius friendless or can i also mix that with delulu poly nxx and add a hint of, “bitch who else are you planning to invite? we are RIGHT here” LMFAO

“Luke, are things at work slow lately?” 😭😭😭 i have tears in my eyes u were gonna invite him anyway shut up

i want a group event where the guys don’t butt in just to see if marius invites them anyway HAAHSJS like he just has the stuff ready for the boys just in case they butt in again, but one time they don’t and he’s just confused 😭

kicking my feet, he loves them all dearly. they’re my babies, my lil ol family!!

ANYWAYS… we’re here. Li Hotel 🤨 && again, the wayyy i was entranced with everything omg obsessed obsessed. BY THE WAY i already suspect that the letter-friend is reporter pearce 🤨🤨 don’t ask me for proper reasoning besides the fact that they reveal the letter-friend is a guy LMAO

&& shares the same life goal (wanting to travel around the world) as little boss 😔💜 but who knows…

alright last two things ✨ nxx boys lowkey teasing rosa by being in character HAHAHDJ (NOT ME POSTING THE WEONG PICTURE AND MAKING MYSELF SAD)

same, rosa, same 😭 (and the invitation card?? zoo wee mama- the way that marius was the only one who kept his eyes on rosa thoughhj hejeejnffk GRRR. okay sorry. NAUR and the luke stare 😔 marluke strikes my heart once again!!! WHY IS VYN ALL THE WAY UP THERE BTW)

anyways. last but not least, this isn’t technically apart of the prologue but it’s when Davis takes you on a little tour as always to show you the event and there is one part where you can have discussions with the boys. you click on luke by default but the first conversation option you have, he talks about this:

&& this actually made me tear up pretty bad 😭 then i had a whiplash and went “OHH THE FUCKING CARD” LMFAOO,, LIKE WHY WOULD HYV DO THIS TO ME 😞 i love the parallels luke always has with his au cards though ugh, makes me depressed in the right way(??)

like his birthday card (the name is itching my brain, i can’t remember) and in his bday event there was a mirror and sword (i believe) that appeared 😔 now this… sobbing throwing up, do NOT TOUCH ME

ARE YOU TELLING ME HE ACTUALLY DIES IN THE CARD STOOFPFPFDB??? THAT HE DOESN’T SAY HE LOVES HER? WHAT IS THIS. punching the floor. DO THEY ALL DIE? I THOUGHT ARTEM AT LEAST LIVES…. AM I MIXING UP CARDS…. see what this event is doing to me already 😔

ojay. i’m done here, had to write the thoughts out brrr, imma go finish reading the event now 🌚 toodles (unless u can read the vyn spoiler below)

HUGE CARD SPOILERS BELOW: VYN [MEDIEVAL SUSPENSE]

OHHbajdhd and adding on why I’m not trusting anyone - even our boys - in this event is because this event reminds me too much of a card that Vyn has. A group of folks in this card are acting and Vyn’s character ended up being the killer. I won’t leave my thoughts on the card but this is why I’m sus of everyone 😔

[songmingisthighs]

literally went 🥺 when I read that the next party after the update was the epilogue. I LOVE THIS FIC SO MUCH THE HUMOR WAS EVERYTHING I NEEDED AND SO MUCH MORE.

Wooyoung is my MVP in this fic. Manz was consistent till the very end with clowning Mingi and his yummy mummy agenda.

I’m so happy they can be a happy family now AHHHHH AND HJ DIDNT BUTT IN THANK GOD. UNLESS? — HE BETTER NOT. YUNPAPI’S DREAMS CAME TRUE AND HES LIVING THE YUNPAPI LIFE.

Actually…im now worried of all the things Bean might pick up from them….

( thank you so much for the fic and being so consistent with updates. Reading Genesis has been almost part of my night routine before I pass out. Your humor passed my vibe check. You and me 🤝 AHHHH I CANT BELIEVE ITS CLOSE TO AN END 😭 im gonna miss Wooyoung and his MILF agenda honestly I need a spin off or fic for that BUT LIKE NO PRESSURE NOR AM I AKSING U TO DO IT. I just really loved genesis . Thank you so much and I hope u know, your humor is so slay. I look forward to reading more of your works 💕)

we want consistency like gns!wooyoung and his milf agenda like mans just want a yummy mommy

AND YES MINGI AND (Y/N) ARE FINALLY A FAMILY WHILE THAT TRAVEL SIZED DILDO SITS IN THE CORNER AND CRY

i wanna thank you for supporting genesis consistently AND I BETTER SEE YOU IN WANBELYN or else i'm deleting tumblr 😔😔 </3 /jk (??)

and dw i have smth with woo and a milf cooking >:)

[bullshit-bulltrue]

Hawk Talk

Okay so sorry if this is a little jumpy I'm having a so far two-day long anxiety attack anyway-

We got assigned seating in history and i got sat next to the biggest cunt wad i have ever met i fucking despise her and she's my desk partner

she was cordial and so was i but she has not fucking changed at all

And the cute boy from years ago is still cute and shy and such a sweetheart but he sits behind me ish and to the very far right

So I can't even look at him anymore without anyone noticing :(

And nyxie darling (@whennyxfallsinlove) was right, i was looking at him like a deer staring at headlights the first day because holy shit i REALLY *REALLY* liked him (still do) because he was one of the only genuine boys I met at the time and I was having a really difficult time and yk hanging out with him helped me out since things were happening in my home life that were difficult to say the least

So then the rest of class went smoothly

For math, there is no cute guys

But thats fine because I really like my teacher and he's taught ways to do math that are so much easier

Not only is he funny, but he also REALLY goes into depth of equations and helps out a lot!!

Sooo yeah

I had a mini heart attack bc after I left class I thought my phone fell outta my pocket but the pockets on my jeans are high (since the jeans are high-waisted duh) so it turns out my butt just didn't recognize the feeling since majority of my jeans don't have wider pocket space

But yeah

Anddd then I went to English class

And if you saw the recent small Hawk Talk posts of me interacting with nyxie, you'd know that there are two boys that are lowkey cute 👀

Idk they're cute by my standards but probably not everyone else's lmao

So I feel like I should call these guys smth??

So umm let's call one of them Baseball guy bc he likes baseball and I also didn't wanna ask his name but when I do, I'll probably make a nickname to refer to when I post about him

And the other we'll call D/Dee ig??

So yeah D was funny as usual

And the baseball guy talked more and lanie, him, and I were going through this box

It was a worry box and my English teacher (we'll call her Mrs. K) basically had a chest and put it at our table to write our worries on an index card and put it in there (anonymously, but some kids put their names so now we have Blackmail™️ . Probs won't need it, but it's good to have information on people)

And like she said that we could NOT under ANY circumstances go through it..

But we did 😘

So yeah that was fun because I didnt get caught

so i'm her favorite student while also being a little shit

🙃

So me and Lanie started following Cute Baseball Boy™️ to his locker because we're nosy bitches

But then I lost lanie so I sat on the floor until i was found like a 7-year-old who lost her mom at the supermarket

Aaand then we had lunch together !!

But then I found out she thought baseball guy is cute too :(

And idk how to feel about that

So I'd anything happens between them I'm gonna be kinda bummed bc I don't want her to get the wrong idea about me thinking he's cute

So im gonna have to find a way to not like him ig??

Or just keep shit to myself (with the intention of telling y'all every little detail)

Gonna je bummed if they start dating or smth but I'll be supportive nonetheless because they're both my friends and if they're happy then that's all that really matters to me

So anyway

Thus guy across from us at lunch was fucking hilarious

His friend kept putting a plate of school food someone forgot to throw away in his face and he let out the most high pitch ear piercing scream I have EVER heard lmaooo

Same bro, same

Felt that

And like I looked at him like wtf was that dude

And his eyes got SO wide

He kept frantically pointing to the girls that were sitting near him and even his friend 💀

So like that was funny

And then we got to gym !!

We didn't get to actually do anything :(

Basically what happened in PE: got gym clothes, got gym lockers (mine and lanie's are next to each other!!), and watched boys get play basketball (D was playing and he wasn't that bad)

Sooo yeah

Ik I said that I went basic white girl mode and watched the boys play

But like half the time I was just taking selfies on snap and scrolling through tumblr memes lmao

But the other half me and lanie were laughing at the boys clothes and haircuts bc they look like they rolled out of bed and asked a 5 year old to make their hair the shape of a fucking broccoli spout or whatever tf you call it

y'all it was that bad

(we also laughed abt that shit at lunch too)

Oh forgot something

While we were all going into the girl's locker room of the gym i thought lanie was right behind me but when i turned around i had to tilt my head up and look around for her head because she's way taller than me and she was at the very back of the crowd

So i went to the side and waited for her to get close to me

And she literally fucking said

L: damn girl i keep losing you, you're really speedy

Me: yeah i'm short but it means i walker faster than you, you're a fucking giant

L: well yeah to YOU. but like i'm tall enough to be your mom

And I lost it. I laughed so hard bc of the way she said it lol

Soo yeah that was the end of my school day

Hope you enjoyed <3

Oh and tagging people that wanted to hear about my day and/or have been reading my Hawk Talk posts (if you dont wanna be tagged lmk and i wont anymore, and lmk if u do wanna be tagged in the full day hawk talk posts!) : @cereal-is-a-soup100percent-true @whennyxfallsinlove @dizzeners @cau-lee-flower215 @sp1rit-realm

[necro-hamster]

9 12 18 22 !! fallout and/or fc5

( this post )

9) worst part of canon

for fc5 i'd have to go w the endings, touched on it in a previous response but i think they both suck ass tbh. i end up just making up my own shit.

for fallout..... well that's a hard one because fallout's canon isn't very good. and has a lot of weird shit in it. i mean honestly i could just broadly gesture at all of it. fo has So Many Problems. but to point out smth specific, the way ghouls are handled comes to mind almost immediately. tons of missed potential and a lot of inconsistencies. wtf was up with the ghoul kid in the fridge?? lil man was NOT in there for 200 years. his ass would've fucking died. they still have to like. eat and stuff. plus it's just weird how 200 years post nuke ppl are still like EWWW AN IRRADIATED PERSON!!! like? bro you're all fucking irradiated. i know about your 11th toe and that weird spot on your butt cheek. you'd think ppl would get used to it by then. i get that obviously hatred of groups like that doesnt just go away over time magically but it just feels unrealistic the way they handle it. also boring.

i guess if you want an easier answer then i think it's stupid that the brotherhood of steel is still going strong on the east coast lol

12) the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them

grinding my teeth together. preston garvey for fallout. i will defend him until the day i fucking die. i'm convinced that the reason so many ppl hate his ass and are annoyed by his very presence is bc he's black idc. kiss my ass. he's my best friend.

also!! raul!!!! nobody ever fucking talks abt him but he's my FAVORITE new vegas oc. i think if he looked more fuckable ppl would pay more attention to him honestly 🙄

for fc5. hurk jr. the only reason ppl don't give him as much attention as sharky is because he's fat. idc. i will stand by this until the day i die. but i guess i'll fuck him since everyone else is a coward about it

18) it's absolutely criminal that the fandom has been sleeping on...

CODSWORTH. it's criminal that bethesda's lazy asses slept on him too!!! he's got SO MUCH potential as a character but they didnt even give him a side quest???? i need yall to integrate him into your sole's story more PLEEEAAAASE. also raul again lol

far cry 5 im absolutely gonna have to say faith, she's so interesting but gets pushed aside so often and it pisses me off to no end. but that's the boring answer. that's the answer everyone expects. so i'm also gonna point out that i think it's super lame how so few ppl actually focus in on the cult and what average ppl were going thru inside of it. because, like, this isnt just Fascist Murderers or Literal Human Traffickers like the other games. they're cult members. many of them are victims of this shit too. obviously some of em were definitely just having fun killing ppl but like there were prolly a ton of ppl who were also just normal folks in desperate need of help and community and they ended up here. please have more discussions abt this shit.

22) your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores

for fallout, prolly civilization as a whole? specifically settlements/cities/towns/etc. a lot of ppl focus on being Alone In The Wastes (which is fun and cool) but i rlly like that we see time and time again that society has rebuilt in plenty of places. there's a city on a boat for gods sake. can we talk abt that shit more pls pls pls pls.

for fc5..... god. again my mind just turns toward faith and her craziness. ppl hate talking abt how much of a freak she is. so ig i'll go with the environment. how hope county is a rural place and the way that must've shaped many of the characters, including ocs who are from there. yall dont get it 😩😩😩

[0coldphantom0]

Reasons why they get no bitches: ✨La Squadra edition!✨

Back at it again with some lovely ☺️ personal headcanons for them jojo bois.

Ps.My askbox is open for requests so send me any requests ( make them juicy).If i catch any minor asking for nsfw stuff you will be 🌸blocked 🌸

Risotto:

- Given how the mafia works, i presume theres a certain quota most ppl have to follow as to not get killed or be looked down upon, so him being in a relationship would place him at a disadvantage strategically speaking.

- Not to assume there haven’t been moments where he could’ve gotten bitches.I have a presumption that somewhere down his Passione career one or two unlucky bastards tried to bribe him with promises of pussy in the hopes of living to tell the tale.It didnt work.

- Im a sole believer that if this man was ever pissed off by a woman hed forcefully make her bleed from her cooch istg ( this is a joke.I am joking, please dont come for me i am but a mere idiot)

- “Im on my period” “im aware :)”

- ✨attachment issues✨:/.

- Lacks the ability to turn off his work mode aka will intimidate ppl without wanting to

- Hyper analyses your body language to a point where you can’t decipher whether hes checking u out or planning how big the hole he must dig for your corpse gotta be smh what a turn off

- Socially inept oh whats that a convo needing his opinion thats not related to his work?? * turns invisible*

- Whats that a convo needing his opinion that IS related to his work??? You a cop or smth?Dont ever ask that again

- Many would find his field of work impossible to adapt to, lets for a second imagine living codependently with an absolute felon, this man went to jail for sure.Most people look funny at smokers let alone someone like him.

- Not to mention the utter anxiety he without realising creates.Sure its fun to cause someone to twitch in fear when theyre some dude you gotta off but when youre the one sitting in front of this man and all he does is squint in disapproval, or lowers his tone…it can only cause for some issues.( unless youre into that then sure have fun being on the edge all the time ig )

- He bottles his emotions and denies the extent of his affections, so man probably wont tell you how he feels abt things, and i can bet money that if youre an emotional kinda pal, he’ll disregard your feelings a lot “because how is there something to fix when nothing is broken “ and “deal with it” are his go to.

Pesci:

- *vaguely gestures at his whole design *

- Either examines everything his crush does with a fine comb or the opposite.This can lead to some awkward instances where he either spews out the most incomprehensible gibberish before making a run for it or not hear a single word if you ask him a question, ending up in him forgetting where and what he is doing.

- Got that heavy dose of toxic masculinity and inferior complex all thanks to all the other guys he hangs with ( im looking at you illuso, cheese and ham >:()

- With that being said its safe to assume that most of the time hes also used as the butt of the joke or even as a leeway to the other members in his group to yoink a gal or two due to his gullibility.Hed be the ugly fool whod annoy the wee damsel and in turn lead to someone else “intervening “ ( in short, prosciutto has and will steal any girl pesci likes as means of teaching the boy a “lesson “ which is bullshit,we all know he’s doing if for fun )

- Push over and a half

- Shitty fashion sense

- I dont believe this man has ever fucked.Like, at all.

-bitchboy and a half, i feel like the moment you raise your voice he winces. Go girl give us lack of confidence, im sure thats attractive :/

- am convinced this man knows zero abt girls, to a point where if he held hands with one his brain would implode.

- I do believe he in a way over glorified being part of the mafia similar to Giorno. The big difference between them is that whilst golden boy drank piss to end kids having a meth addiction, My headcanon is that Pesci thought hed be gaining some respect and power by joining the gang, and spitefully be able to rub it in whoever’s face he could.This also means getting bitches- in this moment he fails to acknowledge said bitches are far and few for his organisation ( unless youre counting prostitutes)and the ones who do be, are probably not going to mingle with someone from the hitman team.

Prosciutto:

- smokes like a chimney (when stressed)and prob a big coffee drinker, i cant imagine finding that pleasant when kissing

- Cheapskate for anything that isnt him. He will buy those gucci socks, for himself.Depending on how much worth he places on the “bitches” hell either flaunt money but share none or hand u a generous tip of 5 lire and tell u to get urself someting nice:)

- Has this sense of entitlement worse than illuso, and also a bit of a saviour complex.Sure on the surface it might come off as him being patient and wating to provide for the crush, unfortunately this manifests through him controlling not only what you do but your opinion on any matter too.Should you speak / act out of line, you now have to redeem urself by kissing ass :/

- everything becomes monitored too.Hes basically in the mindset of training this person to be his ideal from the getgo. Isnt that so wonderfull.

- Imagine if your s/o bitched abt everything you do like a strict parent… how hot…😒

- Kinda misogynistic ngl, even by the standarts of then, hes got a very set way of thinking and acting around someone depending on their gender. Now if you happen to be nonbinary, depending on “which side of the scale you lean on” and by that i mean if prosciutto considers you more masc / fem leaning he will treat you as such.neither side is more torelable than the other, hes temperamental as shit.

- Reeks of that toxic masculinity, i can therefore say this man will never show an ounce of vulnerability thats genuine.ever.

- He cares abt his outward appearance to a point where he deadass cant take a joke.Its fine if he picks on how you dress but for someone to do that to him??? No.

- Also has a bit of a substance problem. I headcanon him as enjoying a little bit of that cocaina and some opium from time to time.

Illuso:

- hes just a massive dickhead all year round

- Snoops worse than the rats in your walls ONG

- Zero privacy with this guy, he knows exactly what you’re doing all the time and will use that to pull shitty pranks on you

- He will also use said knowlege to your disadvantage. Cant back out of his dates due to a “tight schedule” because he knows everything you do in a week and should you try to bluff him HE WILL KNOW.Throws a tantrum like no other if you dont wanna hang out with him.

- Will guilttrip you into oblivion.Theres also a chance of him verbally and physically bullying you as means of all the attention to be on him.

- Believes hes a god sent gift to the world.why are you laughing???? Hes hot shit???

- Gaslighting is his middle name. Illuso cant take rejection at all, he cant accept someone he finds attractive to not feel the same about him.

- Narcissistic and a liar. He gives me the vibe of someone who will not tell you anything truthfull about what he does and who he is and thats due to both his workfield scaring off potential “bitches” and because he think no matter the person, theyll try to manipulate him into doing something he doesnt want/ useless to him.

- Possesiveness issues. Hell deny it into oblivion but the apple of his eye is his and his only- his jealousy knows no bounds so should you literally care abt anything or someone else hell turn it into a “its all about illuso” moment.

- Oh , youre getting all dolled up to go out, its for illuso. Reading a book? Youre doing it for him to notice!Shivering because you are cold?? You want him to come and hold you. Mind you theres a 50/50 chance hes applying said thinking to someone who is unaware of his existence.just like Ghiaccio.yikes.

Melone:

- his criminal record

- Depraved mf worse than the guys youd find on 4chan

- The type of guy you never want to own favours to under any circumstances

- he is a noncon enthusiast ,i wont elaborate

- Foot fetish . No.just no. Out of all body parts???? Really??!?!

- Lets not even talk abt his stand we all know they r meant to represent the persons soul…..so his just erm 👁👁

- To add to that, hes a bit of a psychpath, in the sense that as much as he seems eager to jump into someones pants, he lacks in the “human connection “ department.

- Idk man Melone gives me the vibes of an individual who can act normal but thats it, its all an “act”. His affections and speech is very coordinated, almost as if hes running an experiment with the person he finds attractive.You can sense that the persona he give off is not genuine, rather scripted- and it probably is because he fails to understand emotions to begin with.This will make you uncomfortable so kudos to that :(.

- Big time commitment issues. The probability of him seeking out several “bitches” at the same time in the same place is 99% likely and has in the past lead people into a sense of trust and security only to pull back and act like theyre a total stranger.

- His opinion changes like the weather depending on who he talks to. Melone has the ability to agree and disagree about a topic in the same sentence. Sure he can pick up on the topic and be quite informative,as long as its factual information.This can be a bitch to deal with if you ask him anything or are Ghia and wanna vent out your frustrations.

- Will definetly not care about your boundaries. The scary part is hell twist it so that should you try to protest or bring it up, itll fall on deaf ears.

- Got in trouble in the past for slipping drugs into peoples drinks to watch and see what happens for his own entertaintment,including his coworkers outside misions.

- He also wont hesitate to hack any device you use as means to finding blackmail in case you try anything funny.(and take some dna for babyface if he really considers you a nuisance)

Formaggio:

- personal hygiene has left the chat, id be very wary to shaking hands with this mofo becus he does not wash his hands, let alone anything else

- Probably makes very crude jokes at the worse moments in convos

- He also gives me the vibes of that kid in the neighbourhood who killed small animals and set fire to shit for fun.He prob still does this (this is supported by the spider torture scene and the fact that he treat his cat like shit)

- His pickup lines suck ass, you will visibly cringe

- Sneaky bastard, anyone who catches his attention has at some point or another been spooken by his ability to appear at any given moments due to his stand.Good luck trying to hide something from him or talk shit.Will also use his ability to be a complete creep and compliment how you smell of your underwear choice, even if you ,a, never uttered a word to him or ,b, were nowhere close near him…..yeh..

- Hes the one who will kiss ass so much to a point where everything he does and says ends up making him look slightly unhinged and desperate.Not below straight up pestering you until you finally agree to something ( sex or doing what he wants)

- He sure talks an awaful lot but thats about it. The old bark and no bite kinda deal. He will take you out to expensive dinner he says and then he takes you to the cheapest bar he can get drunk at, only to make you stop bringing his promises up again.Will act a stranger to your dissatisfaction!

- A bit of a leech. Hes known to have broken into his crushes house to “borrow something”, yes your valubles and underwear are gone.

- Good luck living with him because he doesnt pick up after himself at all.He makes the kitchen and bathroom a health hazard AND doesnt flush the toilet either.

- Another one with trust issues. Because hes a nuisance and a bit insecure ( but to lazy to put in the effort) hes bound to blame other people for things he does and will be very quick to accuse a person of not being faithful, even if theres zero evidence.Rebutting this will be hard and he can only be shot down by doing what he wants, and apologising even if you did nothing wrong.

- Hates being given the cold shoulder and will call you every name in the book if you dont stop.

- Will act clueless when things get hectic and only apologise after theres no chance of fixing it. “Sorry about the toaster bbygorl dw ill buy you another”. He wont, but will get mad about not getting to enjoy toast at your place anymore.

- Like Illuso he can be a bully. Will mock and pick on you to get a rise outta you and to make his teammates laugh. He will pretend like nothing is wrong AND get butthurt if you pull away from him when he wants a kiss.

Ghiaccio:

- ……… where do i start

- That scowl alone is enough honestly

- Hes got the posture of a shrimp, so fine so curved ( bitch me too) and its all because of his laptop use.

- I can see him try to impress someone by bitching abt something to appear smart but it ends up in a one way convo, even if you try to join in he cuts you off or talks over you

- Overly cocky . I applaud his determination to be the best™️ in everything he does- heres the problem, no body likes a smartass with a temperament aqute to that of a Tasmanian devil.

- Assumes things about his potential love interest but never actually asks whether or not said presumptions are true or false. And he never will, unless you spell it out for him due to his inability to admit he could ever be wrong about what their fav activities are, after all HE picked this person and HE knows best.

- He believes he can read a person to filth. Sure that may be true regarding anything to do with his work aka body language and weaknesses- but that doesn’t necessarily apply to personal stuff sooo….

- Issues with control. Ghiaccio will always have the upper hand in his relationship or so help whoever happens to be the closest to him.Genuinely cant envision this man feeling comfortable if the crush happens to be a bit more on the independent side of tings.As much as hed love a debate buddy hed rather you just agree with him so he can get to his point.

- And the funny part is that he’s probably a big hypocrite with that too.Ah the double standard of having to please a man who cant admit anyone being better than him yet at the same time wants somebody who he can swing about like a trophy and tell the rest of his teammates that they can shove it up their ass cuz “hes got the hottest bitch, and it wasn’t by means of money or threatening, its because hes JUST SO DAMN BETTER THAN EVERYONE ELSE”

- Ghiaccio’s keen eye and expertise in the how “to get bitches “ means he’s already on his third honeymoon with the love of his life who can only be so happy they get to fuck him and be tolerated by him and ooo theyre in the bedroom and-

- Have I mentioned this process of thinking is taking place whilst lurking and stalking the person rather than being a normal human being and just go and have a chat? Oh I haven’t? It’s probably because the ice gremlin has gone a few steps ahead of his plan but forgot to actually touch base with said person and is instead intently staring at them like a maniac without blinking.From across the room.Even Melone is throwing him side glances.

-Physical touch. Has a habit of being grabby should the crush show a smidge of interest in him.Ice boy will take every opportunity to have some part of him touching the person, annoyingly so, because he himself is touched starved.Dont try to reciprocate said touch unless you’re planning to be smothered consistently by his advances.If you’re thinking its soft uwu touches you’re very wrong. His composure makes it seem like he’s challenging you to a fight more than asking to snuggle.Very anxiety inducing and rather hard to get out of his grip once he has you.

- Lord forbid his target is talking to another person he deems a threat because hes prone to start fights and has ended many with plenty of people having a trip to the ER

- he drives with pure unadulterated malice and will curve swerve every chance he gets so any bitch he does get will definitely end up with severe nausea and promptly make an exit turn the moment they get out the car.

Sorbet and Gelato:

-Deadass, if they’re seeking anyone, that person will go missing.

- They have each other, thats facts, they are the bitches, the gay bitches.good for them

-I dont think anyone is capable of dealing with these two because all they care about is money and violence, anything else is considered unnecessary and a waste of time.

- Any “bitches” desiring their affections will be shot down on the spot, with a gun.Most likely by Gelato because hes a very possessive and jealous mf.Sorbet is very aware of this and unless hes bored and wants to see some discourse, he will be very unapproachable to a point where you have to be void of any fight or flight instinct to get close.

-Theyre a couple with a lack of care to anyone who doesn’t provide them with money, entertainment or drugs and the only affection they show is to one another.Any unlucky soul who somehow ended up in their bedroom will die miserably.

-Sadists with a capital ,s, if theyre down to be part of the hitman team for financial gain do you honestly believe they have any consideration for peoples lives, let alone their feelings???? Yeah no.

-Dont you also find it quite interesting that they were the first of the squadra to go?? Like for a second there sure, “it’s because they tried to get information” on diavolo, but I also have a feeling they could’ve been a genuine threat to the boss.I like to believe that if they didnt get offed so quickly, the way the squadra organised their traitor plans would’ve probably earned more damage to the Passione’s business than even Bruno’s team.