#but...i can't..

[kuromipuzzles2000]

feel not enough is always a feeling i have on my mind, and more when i see how i slowly end alone, without nobody, and being a nobody to anyone...i just sometimes i am being seen as a entertainment, and i mean you're right after i signed up to compromise do art...i compromised to be an entertainment user...just anyone who works for...idk what i even work for...

i am lost...everytime i see anyone happy with what they are, with what they enjoy and with their friends and make me ask myself why i can't be like anyone here...i am losing my friends here by because they too feel like shit like me or because my stupid mood ruins the mood of everyone who wants be my friend like the Cookie Run Kingdom problem 🥺🤦🏻‍♀

i don't know what i am...or what i want...or what i need...or what i suffer...maybe is all paranoia? maybe is it all real? i am just a simple worker for entertaiment who hasn't inspired shit! and even if i enjoy my work it still feels so empty every post i do, every idea i come with, feels so empty...like if is missing something...

like...if i am missing something...i just feel i am an annoyance, i have no friends, slowly losing the very little sanity i have left for every day pass by

the worst is...i never would be able of get professional help...since:

1. my parents don't believe i suffer something mentally...they're that type of people who thinks depression doesn't exist...that traumas are over exaggerated and you need pass by easily like if they hasn't affect you, that you can't have depression or anxiety if you hasn't pass enough or don't even work, that the people's bullying, reject, laughs...aren't enough and just need pass page and you'll eventually be happy

2. i don't have the resources for a specialist....my mom works on a school that barely pays her and other school university that pays her every 4 months and when that happen she need cover taxes and stuff and my dad wins just 2,000 MXN per week that it barely goes for eat...and eat the same shit all week and i...i just feel i am at board of explode, of suicide, or kill myself on anyway i can just to stop suffering that i can't work in this state...i just can't, and with that i have a explosive personality...so I'll never be able of get professional help

....my life is standing by a little thread that slowly becomes more and more thin, and there will be one day i can't hold into it anymore and...and...I'll fall...

I'll end alone one day...I'll lose the not much moots i have left...I'll lose my boyfriend...I'll....I'll end...alone...forever...

....i try much times be...ok, be happy, i try to hold that "i'm fine" mask the most i can but as the time pass, and everything get worse on real life...i let it fall and then cry seeing i would never be normal...or fixed...

never be like my moots...like my idols, or like the other users here or on any other social media...never...

and it hurts...it hurts a lot, it makes me mad, bothered, depressed...with wishes of finally be with my grandma in peace, i want be on her embrace again...i want be a kid again where things was more simpler and happy...before...before that first fateful day...i just wish everything was fine...😞

[pangur-and-grim]

.......I fucked up so bad.

I've been teaching Belphie not to jump on Pangur, cause she's old and arthritic and doesn't like it. and as part of my "training", I've been giving him a treat every times he stops his evil actions and trots over to me.

I thought I was training him to come when called. in actuality, I've been training him to bite Pangur. so now he'll jump on her, chew her ear, and then make bird-of-prey eye contact with me from across the room. and the worst thing is I'VE ALSO BEEN GIVING PANGUR A TREAT EACH TIME (so she doesn't feel left out). which means that she'll whimper pathetically from Belphie biting her, and then also make intense eye contact with me, because she's been conditioned to expect treats afterward.

I have accidentally made the most fucked up dynamic possible with both of these cats.

[jakeperalta]

saw this very [ben affleck depressed smoking image] comment and thought why does blue job / pink job sound like an established concept so I looked it up.....

what's next?? having a bank account is a blue job 💙🏦☺️ not being legally recognised as a person in your own right is a pink job 🩷🥰💅

[leejungjaes]

president zelenskyy is a stronger man than me because if two ignorant and deluded men like trump and vance started demanding i say please and thank you and calling me disrespectful like im a naughty child instead of a very traumatised and frustrated man trying to save his country from putin id have put them both in the ground with a single fucking punch

[dramatic-dolphin]

a while ago I read this sci-fi short story from the 50s where a guy is kidnapped and interrogated by aliens using a very sophisticated lie detector, but he realizes that the lie detector works off technical truth, and with some careful phrasing and misdirection, he manages to make them believe that humans are a race of immortal, overpowered, omniscient telepathic beings. and it works.

my favorite part is when he tells them that humans are "capable of transportation without the aid of spaceships or any vehicles, just by using mental power to control physical matter". it's true, we can. it's called walking.

[some-pers0n]

How it feels getting obsessed with something new and then realizing you're going to spend anywhere from a week to the rest of your life thinking about it

[icedgin]

☀️

[valkugo]

[ekko-idk]

Combining my two biggest fixations atm <3

Edit: bonus comic!!

[slighlyconfused]

Posting on AO3 is like, I'm doing this for myself, but also immediately refreshing the page every 5 seconds to see if you get any hits comments or kudos. But totally only writing for me.

[beastwhimsy]

"I should draw Māori Miku!" I said to myself. "Just a fun sketch, it shouldn't take me long" I said to myself. Six hours later I come to with this in front of me and a wrist begging for mercy but holy fuck worth it. I love this trend this was so much fun

PLEASE DON'T REPOST ON OTHER SITES!!! ASK ME FIRST!!!!!

DISCLAIMERS AND NOTES ETC.... I'm Pākehā, meaning I am not of Māori descent. I hold so much respect for Māori people, for their values and traditions, and for the fierce pride with which kapa haka is performed. I thought if I was going to design a Māori Miku, it makes sense to dress her in a kapa haka kākahu, as her whole thing is singing and dancing!!! The moko kauae is not based off any real person's. I referenced the temporary moko kauae a lot of kapa haka performers wear!! Was tricky finding out whether or not depicting her with a moko kauae was a good idea, so I went the safe route- showing an aspect of Māori culture without stepping over any boundaries!! Brown eyed Miku is everything to me shout out brown eyed Miku.... I referenced like seven different outfits to put hers together!! I really hope this looks accurate or at least passable. Thanks to adorkastock for the pose ref!!

[canisalbus]

✦ Pebble ✦

[mobydyke]

we need 15-20 episode seasons again these limited series have the worst pacing in the world and none of the character decisions hold any weight

[inkedberries]

after patrolling, unwinding in a diner somewhere ...

throw the man a bone batman geez

[beyourghost]

and obviously you find yourself thinking oh i do wish i could get severed to do this one thing. would you actually maybe not. but you do wish you didn't have to undergo medical procedures you do wish you didn't have to do the things that give you anxiety you do wish you didn't have to do tedious tasks that barely even require you to be present for them. it's tempting. that's why the premise works. but the premise is also that somebody has to do it. somebody has to go to the dentist and somebody has to get on that plane and somebody has to write those thank you notes. just like somebody has to clean the house and somebody has to harvest the food you eat and somebody has to make the clothes you wear. you can't eliminate inconvenience you can only delegate it. you can't eliminate suffering you can only delegate it. and always the easiest way to live with this is to see that somebody as less than. less than you less than people. and if that somebody has to wear your body to do it well maybe it's not all that different. they're not a person. you are. it's capitalism all the way down baby