#but. yeah. it was nice. in a soul-reviving way

[zhuoyichenpretty]

Ep 22-23 Commentary

Ha...I was inexplicably nervous for eps 22-23 and it looks like I was right to be (-: What a rollercoaster. Spoilers below!

I've just come out of ep 23 and uh????? holy shit????? ZYC????

Ok ok but to backtrack, let's do my comments semi-chronologically:

Ep 22:

A carry-over from ep 21 that I have to mention—heck yeah PSJ give WZY hell. She doesn't have all that many lines but she sure knows how to make them count. Also seeing PSJ and WX get screen time just the two of them makes my brain go "yay <3"

Back to ep 22, loved the fake-out sundial ayeee that was a nice Chekhov's gun that also brings the real sundial back into relevance for later. Also me eating up the PSJ and ZYC crumb of an interaction has brought to my attention how starved I am of their screen time together.

This whole ep was a great lament towards the feared inevitable. Every sad downcast look from ZYC, every complicated glance WX gives him. A wonderful, terrible crossroads for these characters. I love that for ZYC especially, it's such an incredible mess of emotion coming to a head. Bad enough that he's come to care about the demon who killed his family and ruined his life, bad enough that he's sworn a blood oath he regrets and tied himself to punishing someone he no longer finds culpable, bad enough that ZYZ's life or death depends solely on his choice and ZYZ is constantly practically begging for death when ZYC wants him to live. How much immensely worse it makes the whole situation that WX is literally ZYZ's soulmate. And obviously the whole team has only grown more and more attached to ZYZ, too. ZYC's personal turmoil aside, how heavy must that responsibility and guilt be? For the finishing blow that only he can deliver to also deeply threaten every other person he cares about? Everyone understands in the abstract what must happen and why, but just like seeing ZYZ lose control firsthand, the gulf between understanding and experiencing is so unimaginably wide. If he kills ZYZ, can there really be no resentment from his friends? From WX?

Also it seems ZYC only wears cloaks so that he can give them to other people lmao

Ah fuck, the farewell drinks. I didn't even factor in how ZYC might not survive the encounter (''': The drama truly was like hm can we possibly give ZYC a worse day than that night his whole fam died? Maybe give him a bunch of new family members and also the blade and the fate and the sole responsibility to potentially irrevocably scar said family members with? And he might die in the process too? (-: haha maybe? (((-:

Oh. Oh. Addendum. I forgot this til I saw it mentioned in another post—ZYC recounting his oath as he watched WX smile when they discussed reviving the tree...I could feel him weighing those words against his own life, against ZYZ's life, against WX's happiness. One way out of this impossible situation is indeed to doom himself. I'm in pieces.

Damn if WX isn't dedicated heart and soul, going into the sundial like that. I'm sad no one could keep her company for those 300 years but also I guess that's kind of an impossible ask (and maybe not survivable for the other non-goddess mortals? I'm admittedly very unclear on sundial time loophole logistics). It would have been nice to see someone offer though, even just to be turned down.

Ooh I like the soul needle fake-out, given this show's penchant for retroactive "actually we had a plan all along" moments. A good subversion of the narrative's own style.

Also I saved this for the end because it doesn't really fit the linearity of my comments but what the fuuuuuuuck oh my god I absolutely flipped out at this scene:

I am at once rabidly intrigued and at the same time not sure if I'll be satisfied with whatever payoff will come for this so I don't want to overindulge in theorizing and setting my own expectations too high. Maybe this is just a fevered hallucination, maybe it means nothing (I hope it means something). But damn!!! What a gorgeous man crazy scene.

In conclusion, ep 22 had some good stuff for me. Plot development and reflection and tension enough that I may have been satisfied with just that one episode. But they gave us two, so onward to ep 23 comments!

Ep 23:

I like how many solid reasons the team has to suspect ZYC being possessed. Even though I withheld judgment during my watch given how quickly the show usually confirms that kind of stuff with a possession mark, just simply casting that doubt made the whole build up that much more intense.

ZYC slowly walking down the corridor with the whole grounds lit a somber and haunting gold—*chef's kiss*

ZYC's monologue to a catatonic ZYZ is so important to me. The closest we'll get to his internal monologue about this whole situation. The kinds of things said when we think there's no conscious listener.

Okay so, having finished this episode and looking back, Li Lun's hands coming up from behind ZYC was not to denote possession (at least in this episode), potentially is a visual from ZYZ's POV, and seems related to the above screencap. I am so, so curious. Once again, I'm stopping myself from further speculation because I want to be surprised but ahhhhhhhhh

PSJ shooting at Ao Yin is so gorgeous. Her action scenes seriously never disappoint—the creativity of her fight choreos!! Also very cool that the whole team is getting to take part in the action, not just the two male leads.

Bai Jiu possession was not on my bingo card but I sure do love that we literally saw the possession take place and I still didn't connect the dots. Good shitttt. Also oh no ): ZYC was telling the truth about the soul needle, he was just tricked ):

Seriously from the Ao Yin case to getting PSJ released to reviving the Divine Wood to getting tricked by possessed!Bai Jiu to making pear soup to fighting ZYZ to fighting Li Lun—when will ZYC get a single goddamn vacation day holy shit.

Also when will WX tear up that contract so ZYZ can stop having a mild heart attack every time he wants to kiss her ): &I love that they saved the 300-year montage for this moment. While their ship doesn't give me brainrot personally, who could be unmoved by that incredible and undisclosed sacrifice? That's soulmatism.

Okay, I'd seen clips of them filming the ZYC and Li Lun fight but damn I did not expect it'd be happening right now!! Right after already taking damage from ZYZ? And my god is Li Lun brutal. The two actors did such an impressive job on this entire fight, what with Li Lun's ease and ZYC's suffering. I really appreciated the extensive hand-to-hand combat after Li Lun literally obliterated ZYC's sword. (Also though, given the origin of that sword, I kept hoping for a flashback to ZYC's brother once it broke, but alas, no dice.) Anyway, the show does not play around about ZYC whump it seems. I was very very shook by that throat punch; that shit legitimately looked like it hurt.

Honestly, I had a hard time with the extended ZYZ and Li Lun conversation at the very end because oh my god someone please heal ZYC lmao. But of course, that's the end of the episode~~

Y'all...check on your local ZYC stans because I was not okay after all that (': I need a heaping dose of comfort after all that hurt, but as always I'm cautious of hoping for much from canon itself. So yeah! Ep 23 was solid, but I would probably be in better shape if today's release just ended on ep 22 ((':

Time to go wait for the cast's Hi6 episode to drop so I can heal my battered heart ;-;

[agentravensong]

when i took my english class on approaches to literature and culture last semester (the one taught by the professor whom i eventually got to play the beginner's guide), the final project consisted of interviewing someone we knew about their perspective on literature and its place in culture and then doing a write-up about it. i interviewed my high school english professor. it took about 12-15 minutes iirc; it was nice to catch up with him and he provided some neat insights. this post isn't about him, though.

see, one of my theater friends - the one who directed our production of hamlet, in fact - is taking that class this semester, taught by a different professor (one i also know and very strongly appreciate (...and whom i also got to play the beginner's guide)). he has to do a slightly different version of that same assignment; he needed to interview someone for at least 20 minutes.

he decided to interview me :)

so i got to talk with him for what was at least a half hour today (probably double that counting our conversing before and after he turned on/off the recording) about the ways we define and interact with literature. we talked about theater stuff (i brought up r&g are dead three times, because how could i not), but also video games and fanfiction; about interpretations and retellings of stories and the baggage that comes with them and what it even means to write something "original"; about what it means to approach something literarily as an actor versus a reader versus a writer; and a whole bunch of other stuff i'm forgetting rn.

it was. really, really nice. to get to do that.

[sports-on-sundays]

and I can change / CL16 / Part 2

Summary: dad!Charles x French!ex!reader - Charles would do anything to convince you to forgive him. He'd do anything to revive his family.

Warnings: Again, Y/s/n is 'your son's name'. And again, his age is unspecified- you decide what you think. crying (LOTS of crying), mention of drunkenness, mention of sex, mention of cheating, broken relationships, broken family, censored cussing

Requested?: Yeah! Requested by some sweet souls who read part 1! @barcelonaloverf1life @architect-2015 @emz2092 @cilliansgirl @lunamelona @lightdragonrayne @leclercgirl16

Author's Note: You guys asked for it, so I gave it! I hope you enjoy! Same song as inspiration. Also I'm thinking after this part I'll write a part 3, and then after that maybe a little epilogue, to wrap this up. Tell me what you think. Also, this is the link to part 1 / and the link to part 3

"Y/n, people change.

"And I can change, too."

You lay on your bed, engulfed in the darkness of the room surrounding you. The darkness seems to go deeper than just your surroundings- deeper, and into you.

Over and over the scene plays through your mind. Those words that Charles had uttered. The way he had clutched your hand in both of his, as if it were his only lifeline. In that moment, the desperation his eyes had denoted was incredible.

Charles, why? Why couldn't you let go? You're making it all so much more complicated.

But you know what he would say. Why? Why, Y/n? Because this isn't just about myself. Don't you see the brokenness in our son? Don't you see it?

Guilt washes over you, and then rage.

I shouldn't be the one feeling guilt. He should. He's the one who messed up our family. He's the one who's fault it is!

The way he cried, though.

The desperation.

The thing is that he is feeling guilty. Or at least so it seemed.

But does he really deserve a second chance? Do you?

Your phone rings at 12:00 A.M. On the dot. Charles has always been on the dot. Unless he's drunk, that is.

Why is he calling?

Right when I'm thinking about him, too.

Although this really isn't too surprising, when you consider it. For the past week and a half or so, you've stayed up until roughly 2:00 in the morning, staring at the ceiling, thinking, unable to convince yourself into peace and slumber.

And now a call comes.

Charles, why?

It feels terrible as you answer. "Charles. Don't call me."

"Y/n," he says in a calm voice. "I'm sorry."

"For what?" you snap, trying to keep it down. Your son is sleeping (hopefully) in the next room.

"For reacting so emotionally. I'm sorry. For years this has weighed on me, but crying and begging won't get us anywhere."

"We're not going anywhere, whether you cry and beg or not." You hang up.

A month after that call where you rejected Charles for what you hoped would be the last time, there's a knock on the door on a Saturday. You walk to it, and freeze when you look through the peephole.

Why is Charles Leclerc here?

Anxiety hits you. The house is a mess, you've got no food to give him, you look like a mess in your pajamas and unbrushed hair-

How can he just show up at your door like this?

It's obnoxious.

You honestly are about to pretend you aren't home, but then Y/s/n suddenly runs in, squealing, "Mama, who is it?! Is it the mailman?"

You sigh at your son's strange fascination for the mailman. You're not completely sure why he enjoys the young, dry, monotone mailman, and for years just assumed because he was generally a nice bloke, and little kids are weird, until you realized with an ounce of dread that the mailman resembles Charles, in a way. After that, you've never encouraged his enthusiasm for the mailman, just in case that was the reason, whether conscious or not.

"No, no," you sigh, unlocking the door. "It's not the mailman, love."

"Who is it, Mama?"

As you swing the door open, you murmur, "Well, love, none other but your father."

"Daddy!" the little boy, still in his Lightning McQueen pajamas, squeals, running to hug his father. You glance away, staring at the floor.

Charles hugs your son, kissing him, and exclaims, "Aw, there's my little buddy! How are you, man?"

"I'm good, Daddy! Are you coming to live here now, Daddy?!"

"Ugh- Not quite..." He picks up your son, and looks to you, immediately saying, "Sorry it's such short notice."

You grit your teeth, murmuring, "You mean no notice?"

"Right," he nods with a quick exhale.

While the presence of your son is a burden for you, preventing you from showing your true feelings, it may be an advantage for Charles, to get across what he needs to get across. Whatever that may be.

Because this is all just a game. Everyone with their own different motives. Y/s/n wants Mama and Daddy to love each other because he wants one place to live. Charles' motives are unknown, but probably are just manipulative and selfish- about making himself feel better. And your motive? You don't want to relive the past, so will avoid Charles at all costs.

Charles' and Y/s/n's motives align more with each other than your's.

You look at your son. Who you love so much. He looks at you with hope. Charles looks at you with... a very similar expression.

These two.

How can you love one and hate the other?

They're both family, as much as you hate to admit it. Because one of them, you wish you could erase.

No. But you don't. Because if you'd never met Charles, Y/s/n would never have been born. And you can't even begin to imagine your life without him.

You hold the door open, and gesture to the couch. "Sit down, Charles. I'm going to get dressed, and then put the kettle on." You say all this through gritted teeth.

How can he just walk in as if he owns the place?

He nods. "Thank you, Y/n." You watch in the doorway to the hall as Charles sits down on the couch with his son on his lap. You watch as he says softly, picking up a toy car from off the rug, "This car is awesome, Y/s/n. Where'd you get it?"

"Mama got it for me! For my birthday!" Y/s/n takes it from his father's hand with much pride, and starts driving it across Charles' chest, up onto his neck, and eventually onto his cheeks. The whole time, Charles laughs, his hand on his son's back to keep him from tipping off his lap.

"That's a super cool car. Does it have a name?"

"Uhhh," Y/s/n frowns. "Zoom! Because he goes zooooom!"

"Oh, it's a he?"

"Of course," Y/s/n says, as if this fact should be obvious. Then he giggles, "Because girls smell."

"They smell?! No way. Girls don't smell."

"Yeah, they do," he crosses his arms, frowning at his father. "You don't know any girls. You only know... Uh, Cah-los."

Charles laughs out loud. "The only person I know is 'Cah-los'?"

"Yep! And Uncle Arthur and Uncle Lorenzo, but that's it!" your son claims in a very matter-of-fact tone.

Their conversation continues, but you finally turn to leave and get yourself fixed up. You quickly shower, brush your teeth and hair, put on moisturizing cream, perfume, and deodorant, and put on a beige hoodie, grey sweatpants, and slides, before going to make tea. The whole time, you mind swirls.

Why is he here? Why is he here on a Saturday? Why is he here, without even asking to come? It's so... obnoxious.

You finish making two cups of tea, finding with awe as you make them that you remember exactly the way Charles likes his tea, and you're doing it automatically.

Because I used to do this so much.

You walk back in with the tea and see the two boys sitting on the rug now. Charles is tickling Y/s/n's tummy, and both of them are laughing- Charles with more of a chuckle and Y/s/n with more of a squealing giggle. When Charles sees you, he slowly stops, saying with a little sigh, "Alright, bud. Mama's back with my tea, and I mean to drink it."

"But Daddyyy!"

"Nope!" he grins, standing up, ruffling his son's messy hair. He then walks to you, and you hand him his tea. He lights up when he tastes the tea and looks at you, muttering softly, "My God, you remembered how I like my tea...?"

"Don't jump to sh*t, Charles," you murmur, soft enough for Y/s/n not to hear.

"Right," he sighs, sitting down again on the couch.

You set your tea down, walking to your son. "Alright, love. I want you to go in your room now, okay? Remember the Lego plane you were building? Why don't you work on that? I want to see it once it's finished, okay? And if you need anything, call, okay? Don't come in here. Just call, and one of us will come."

He looks questioningly. "Why, Mama?"

"Me and your father have important things to talk about. And if you don't listen, there will be consequences."

He blinks, pouting.

"I'll turn on your storybook audio for you. Come on." You bring him to his room and get him set up, until you're sure he's completely distracted with the Legos and the storybook. Only then do you come back to the living room and sit down awkwardly next to Charles.

He's still wearing his red windbreaker from when he was outside, and a black scarf hangs loose around his neck. His hair is a bit messed up, but he looks perfect, like always.

Too perfect.

"Let me take your scarf and jacket. And your shoes."

"Right," he says with a swift nod, handing you his scarf, coat, and sleek black boots. You put them by the door, and sit down, viewing the cozy grey sweater adorning his frame. You have a passing thought, considering how much unnecessary money he might have spent on such a garment.

"So?" you ask in a tense voice. "What is this all about, Charles?"

"There are some things we need to work out. You're right- one of the many things I've done wrong to you is always being a f*cking coward. You're right. I didn't say what was on my mind, and I faked it, and I kept quiet, because I didn't want to upset you. But now I see that the only thing I can do now is speak up, be honest, and be a man. You rightfully left me because I wasn't being a proper man. I wasn't being your proper man. I was being a terrible husband and a terrible father. But now we need to uncover what's true- we both have different views, both of which are likely exaggerated or incorrect in different ways."

"I don't care, Charles," you say quickly, flat out trying to ignore his admittance to wrong. Perhaps because you don't want it to be true. Because if he's sorry, that means you have to forgive him.

"So you're telling me you'd rather believe lies, just because it makes you feel better? What kind of thinking is that?"

You hate to admit that he's right. So you say nothing.

There's silence. But then he says, "So tell me what happened."

"You know what happen-"

"Tell me, Y/n." His voice isn't rude, but definitely firm.

You swallow, shaking your head. You don't want to work this out. You want to forget Charles. But clearly, that's impossible. "You were irresponsible. You'd get drunk, never be home, never help me. I'd be all on my own... You... You'd use me for your own pleasure but never show true, selfless love... Then you came home drunk saying stuff about a pretty woman and sex and getting pregnant... So you cheated... And I divorced you because I couldn't take it any more." You can't believe it, but you're trying not to choke up as you whisper, "Charles, what we had seemed perfect. Until you messed it up." Your mouth tastes like poison.

Charles stares down, his eyes swirling with everything but empty, at the same time. "Y/n," he whispers. "I was terrible. You're right. I was never around because I was immature and scared. I didn't understand. To get away from it, I drank and had fun with friends."

Your lip curls. "You're not the victim."

"And I never said I was! I was scared of being a father. I was scared of messing up. I wasn't ready and I let everything happen too quickly. I was a coward and I left you. Even though you divorced me, I was the one who left you. That's what happened. I was stupid. I was a terrible person. It's all my fault."

"Why would you be any different now? There's no way for you to prove that. Before the marriage you were fine. It was when we married that you went downhill. It was like... you couldn't stand me."

He looks torn apart. "I loved you. I... I... I still do. I knew I wasn't being a good husband or father and to forget about it, I drank."

"And why wouldn't you still do it now?!"

"Because I don't. I feel more guilt now than I did then! I feel more responsibility now than I did then! And that was my greatest fear! Responsibility! But now I don't drink excessively! Now I don't avoid reality! Because I need you... Our son needs us. Together. Don't you need me?"

"Not the you I know."

"You don't know me anymore. I'm not the same person I was." His voice is so uncommonly firm, it slightly shocks you.

You stare into each other's eyes.

He goes on, "That night, I didn't cheat. I was intoxicated. A young woman was trying to seduce me, but I refused because I had you. You, my beautiful wife, both inside and out. I wanted to convey to you that I said no because you were my wife. However, I failed to communicate this properly, and the next morning, I had completely forgotten the conversation. I chose not to tell you because I thought it would be better if you didn't know. I was afraid you would be angrier with me for being in that situation. I was a coward, and I didn't want you to be upset with me. I didn't realize for years that you believed I had cheated. If I had known, I would have assured you that I didn't cheat, just like I am doing now, and that I never would. Because I didn't. Despite all the mistakes I made, cheating on you is something I would never, ever do. I have always loved you, and only you, far too much for that."

Your hands tremble in your lap as you stare at him, listening.

Now you're the one getting emotional.

Charles leans in close to you- too close for comfort- and whispers, "I've changed... Please. I just want a second chance... To right my wrongs and give you and our son the lives you deserve. I need to give my all to you... I need to make it up to you... It's... It's crushing me."

"Why do you need a second chance?" Your voice, for once, isn't aggressive. It's gentle. Softer. Your voice cracks as you say, "You should have done it right the first time."

You see him swallow. "And you know what? I didn't. I f*cked up. I f*cked up everything. I f*cked up your life and I know it. I'm sorry. I wish I could go back in time and fix it and make it all better. I was stupid, Y/n. I was terrible. I hurt the most beautiful woman and her baby in the world. I'm the least." He takes your hand again in both his, but this time it's a gentler grasp.

"But you're not. You're famous. You have so many fans."

"Do you know how many times I've thought I don't deserve all this? If only I could share it all with you."

"Charles," your voice cracks again, and an unexpected, terrible longing fills you. "I want to believe you, but I can't. I'm broken, Charles, because of you. I can't afford to let you break me again..."

A tear rolls down your cheeks, and immediately he reaches up with his thumb, gently wiping your cheek, "No, Y/n, please don't cry... I don't want you to cry because of me any longer... Please..."

"Charles, I can't do this..." more tears fall.

There's hurt and confusion, but mostly longing and guilt in his eyes. "Please... If you'd only trust me, then we could make this right. I could make this right, after all I did wrong."

You can hardly believe yourself as you let your broken, silently crying self fall into Charles. You allow yourself to rest your head on his shoulder, and you allow his arms to wrap around you, giving you his warmth. "Charles..."

"Yes...?" There's a painful hope in his voice.

"I don't know if I can do this..." you cry into his shoulder now.

He whispers right in your ear, "Just give me a chance. Let me be there for you... Let me prove to you... Let me..."

You can't give him a yes or a no. Two sides war inside you- the mask and the face. You feel him stroke your hair as you cry, at the same time as remembering stroking his hair when he was drunk and needed comfort.

This is some sort of paradox, isn't it?

"Charles," you murmur, leaning away after you've gained control of yourself. "The answer is 'I don't know' right now, okay... Consider it... better than hating your guts with an adamant 'no.'"

As he gazes into your eyes, he leans closer. Softly, he places a tender kiss on your cheek and whispers, "I'll be ready whenever you are. And I'll never, ever stop waiting for you."

Weeks pass, and Charles can't understand why, after all that happened that day, still you insist on avoiding him like the plague.

Well, the reason is just that- avoidance. You're avoiding Charles because you don't want to face the possible truth. You're avoiding him because you don't want to make big decisions. You don't want to try again. You don't want to...

Well, you don't want to fall in love again.

And on that day, the way he treated you...

It reminded you of the man you married, and not the man you divorced.

And that scares you. Because you'll never forget the man you divorced.

So you're stubborn and resistent, and you're avoiding him.

So you sit, staring at the screen of your cell phone. Rereading the text on it. Over and over.

Charles Leclerc: I'm sorry for such a long text Y/n but you probably won't read it anyway, so what does it matter? I need to talk with you and you're doing exactly what I've done, what I'm apologizing for. For years I avoided this stuff and one of the reasons we split was that i couldn't stand up and address and tell you my problems. I was being a f*cking coward. And I've said sorry more times than I can count. I thought you might be on the road to forgiveness, to giving me a second chance. I know you felt the same way as me when you leaned into me and let me hold you when you cried- there's something more here, and I don't want you to ignore this. Can't we just try this? Please Y/n? I'm finally willing to step up, be a man, work through all this sh*t with you. Talk about it. I'm finally willing to be brave, and as soon as I am, you're doing the same thing you've yelled at me for years for doing- staying silent.

Charles Leclerc: I love you, Y/n, and this is a problem I desperately want to fix, but the truth of the matter is that you're being a f*cking hypocrite.

Me: How does it feel to be in the position you put me in for years?

You feel mean for typing that, and you're not sure how much you mean it. Maybe you meant to be kinder.

But the anger took over and your thumbs did the talking.

Charles leaves that message on read.

You sit in the cold metal chair, surrounded by pudgy, middle-aged parents and their gross kids all around you as a lone young mother sitting by herself. You're only here to see your son, and none of the other aspects of this situation bring you an ounce of joy.

All of a sudden, a shiver runs down your spine as a firm hand gently lands on your shoulder. Your head snaps up, meeting the gaze of Charles Leclerc. A look of disdain crosses your face, causing your heart to ache as you bluntly ask, "Why are you here?"

Charles takes a seat beside you in the vacant chair and casually remarks, "I've come to attend my son's school concert. And you?" A glimmer of amusement dances in his eyes.

Your jaw tightens in pure irritation, and you manage through gritted teeth in a tense, quiet tone, "Why did you choose to sit next to me?"

Charles hesitates, his expression softening, as he makes an effort to hold your gaze. "Well... Because I..." He swallows and says, "I'm not going to give up on you. That's why. So I figured I'd sit down next to you to watch my- our- son's concert. So..." Abruptly, he reaches for your hand, intertwining his fingers with yours. The veins in his hand are visible as he clasps yours tightly.

Your muscles tense, yet for some reason, you don't pull your hand away.

So throughout the whole school concert, Charles sits, gripping your hand, and seems to refuse to let it go.

And the moment the teacher is done on stage after the little production, thanking people for helping and the kids for doing such a great job and other stuff you don't listen to, Charles turns to you and says, "So, we have some minutes to spare."

Your eyebrows scrunch together. "Come again?"

He chuckles, but it doesn't feel called for. "You weren't listening to her? She said the students can be picked up from their classrooms by their parents in fifteen minutes."

Your jaw clenches again. "Charles, why?"

"Because I know you want it," he says incredibly earnestly. The inside of your heart melts as the outside hardens.

"But I don't think I do."

"But I know you do. Now come on." Your ex-husband stand up, pulling you up with him.

"Where are we going?" you ask. "And please let go of my hand. You've been holding it so long, it's starting to get sweaty."

He clicks his tongue and doesn't respond to either of these, then guides you down various hallways until you reach the school's exit. Finally, he sits down with you on a bench outside the school, and releases your hand.

"What are you doing?"

"Let's just hang out here for the next ten minutes, okay? We should talk," he says awkwardly, facing you.

"I don't get it. Charles, there's nothing you can do to-"

Charles interrupts, holding your face gently, gazing into your eyes. "Please, don't. Don't say that," he pleads, his thumb brushing your cheek. "There's something we can do. We can make this work... Please..."

His desperation, his begging, makes you want to cry. "Please just let it go... Let me go..."

"No, I don't want you to be trapped... Don't you see you'll be more free with me? You won't have to work as hard.. I'll take care of you and our son... I'll take half the work in the house you have to deal with... I'll... We'll... I just want you to believe that we'll be happier... I'm not saying we need to jump to anything today. I'm just saying, let's be kind to each other... Let's go out to eat sometimes, or go to our son's events together. Let's act just a little bit more like a family, even if we aren't yet. I just want to- I need to- I- I- I..." He trails off. His hands fall off your cheeks, and his shoulders slack. His head goes down.

It's like just the hard look in your eyes alone crushed him.

Like that alone is the huge weight he's bearing.

"F*** me, Y/n... F*** me," he whispers, his hands in his lap trembling. "I don't deserve you. I hurt you. Doesn't matter how much I changed. I still have to live through the consequences of my actions, don't I?" He seems to be talking more to himself, but you have no idea at this point. "Just f*** me." He exhales shakily, before suddenly standing up. He stares you right in your eyes, and your heart breaks when you see the hurt, the destroyed desperation. "It's fine, Y/n." He's trying to keep a level face. But his voice cracks. "I'll leave you alone. I'll let you go. I can see all this is just hurting you more. I never meant to hurt you more. I never meant to bring up the past to hurt you. I wanted to help you... I wanted to help you heal..." He drags a hand over his face. "But clearly I f***ing didn't. Clearly I messed it up again. I f***ing messed up again." He swallows. His eyes glimmer with wetness as he practically whispers, "The last thing I want is to hurt you. So I'll drop it. I'm just being selfish again, aren't I? I think this would be better, but you don't. And that's hurting you. And I never wanted to..." He swallows, his nose crunching up. Suddenly he yells, "I never wanted to hurt you ever again, because I love you, for f***'s sake! I love you, but I did hurt you, because, in the end, no matter what, I'm going to f*** it up anyway! So bye, Y/n!" Suddenly he turns on his feet. Like he doesn't want you to see him cry again. But you can hear the tears in his voice when the last thing he calls back is, "It will go back to normal, and we can pretend none of this ever happened! Pretend I'm a stranger! It's the best for you, anyway, apparently, and all I wanted was the best for you!"

You stare in shock as you watch him get in his car and drive away. You remain seated, gaze straight ahead. Tears well up in your eyes, and your body quivers, yet you manage to compose yourself, rise on unsteady legs, and compel yourself to return to the school to pick up your son.

But that just wasn't right.

I should have stopped him. I should have called him back. I should've.

How far can revenge go before it's gone too far?

For days, the guilt, the hurt, the rue- they weigh on you. Every moment of your days, it consumes your thoughts. Regret and confusion and anger fill you in every step, engulfing your every move. And if you thought you weren't getting any sleep before, now it's even worse.

You long to fix it, but you are unsure of how. Despite everything... You can't see how Charles isn't being honest. You want to have faith in him. A small part of you may even want to love him, just a little bit.

You're also fearful. Fearful of reaching out to him, because you don't know what you'd do. You have no idea.

But now you're dropping your son off at Charles's house. You swallow, and suddenly, on a whim, when you see Charles walking outside, waiting for Y/s/n, you get out of the car, too.

"Mama?" your son asks with a confused expression, still maintaining a little smile on his face.

You smile back down at him and say, "I'm walking you up to your daddy's house today, is all."

He shrug and nods, apparently accepting this.

He's such a good kid.

As you approach Charles, your smile twitches while you study him, but you say softly, "Hey, um... I... We..." Your tone sounds weak.

"Yes?" Charles asks, looking up. He looks perfect. As always.

Your eyes lock.

Please, Charles. I don't know how to say this. Please just understand.

His eyes remain blank. You let out a sigh.

And suddenly, you hug him.

Charles seems taken aback for only a moment, before he immediately hugs you back and says softly, "Hey... Want to come inside with me and Y/s/n?"

You nod. "Yes... Yes, please."

So Charles leads the two of you up to his flat. You sit down together on the couch, once again.

Last time you did this was the moment Charles cried out to you.

"Y/n, people change."

You swallow at the memory.

Is this another paradox? This time, will I be the one crying out to him?

Y/s/n is about to hop on the couch between you, but suddenly Charles scoops him up and says, "Hey, hey! I didn't get my hug from you yet, did I?!"

Your son giggles, getting comfortable on his father's lap, before giving him a big hug. "I scored a goal, Daddy..."

"You scored a goal?!" he grins. "Seriously?"

"Yeah! Mama cheered me on! I scored a goal when I played football!"

Charles looks so bright. Happy with his son. So proud. He doesn't get to see him as often as you do. "No way. You've got to be joking. Was it the winning goal?"

"Yep!" your son says proudly.

You find yourself smiling.

"Oh yeah, what was the score?"

Your son shrugs. "Dunno! But we won!"

You smile and mutter softly, "I think it was 4-1." Y/s/n plays in the little league team affiliated with his school.

"Yeah, but my goal made it 2-1, so I won it," he brags to his father.

Charles grins. "Oh, I'm sure it did. You know, I don't know where you got that talent for football from. Do you think Mama is good at football?"

Your son just shrugs with a grin, enjoying the affirmation from his father. "Dunno! But Mama is good at cuddling and playing with me."

Charles laughs. "Yeah, your mama takes good care of you." He glances at you with sparkling eyes, before looking back down at his son.

The two continue babbling on about sports and football and what not, until Charles finally ruffles his son's hair and says, "Well, buddy, I reckon it's time for me and Mama to have some alone time."

Y/s/n frowns. "Aw, why?"

"Because I want to talk with Mama about things that you won't care about. Boring grown-up stuff. Doesn't sound very fun, does it?"

Y/s/n shrugs, still looking uncertain.

"Hey, don't look so down. How about this? I'll go put on Cars for you. How's that sound?"

Your son grins at this, immediately jumping up, his demeanor changing abruptly. "Yeah, yeah!" he squeals, and you watch as Charles leaves with him to go set him up with that in another room.

But soon Charles is back. He gently shuts the door behind him as he enters the room, and immediately sits down next to you, facing you once more. "Hey, Y/n..." he says in a tentative but gentle tone.

You swallow. "Hey, Charles..." You feel yourself getting nervous again. "You're so... You're so good with Y/s/n."

He smiles. "You are, too."

There's no, And I'm sure we'd be even better with him together.

Charles meant it when he said he'd give up on it.

But you move closer to him. You take his hands. "This is a lot for me, Charles. I'm scared. I'm having issues with trust."

He nods slowly. "I know... I know..."

You swallow, and hug him again.

He holds you, hugging you back. He kisses your cheek. He whispers, "I understand if you're afraid. I understand if you're scared, or if you're having issues with trust. I'm so deeply sorry I've broken you like that."

Y/n, people change. And I can change.

The words come crashing into your mind like a ton of bricks, emerging from the depths of your memory.

"Charles-" you break in, your voice cracking. "Those words have haunted me."

"What words...?" he mutters softly.

You swallow. Breathe slowly. And you whisper, "You said to me 'Y/n, people change. And I can change.'"

"I have changed," he whispers.

"But," your voice cracks. "You said a lot of other s***, too. I remember, during our honeymoon..." A tear rolls down your face as Charles continues to hold you. "You said I'm yours and you're mine. You said we'd be forever. You said you'd do anything for me. You said we'd have three kids together, and you'd never stop loving me, and we would be a happy family. You said we'd grow old together, Charles. That's what you said. But all those promises- they were broken... They were broken."

"You didn't want them to be," he whispers calmly. "But don't you realize? Perhaps those promises were not broken, but rather, they have just not yet been fulfilled."

You look up at him, blinking. More tears roll down your cheeks. Charles gently wipes them away.

"I want to be able to fix what I did wrong. I want to be able to fulfill those promises I made to you. That's what I want, Y/n."

"Charles..." you breathe.

He looks so perfect.

"Yes?" he asks gently.

Your lip quivers, and you lean into his shoulder, and you sob.

And he lets you.

For however long, he holds you there, rubbing your back, letting you weep. Finally, you get a hold of yourself, and slowly pull away. You wipe your wet eyes with the backs of your hands, before sighing. "Charles, if we were to do this... If I were to give in..." You sniff. Your voice cracks again as you utter, "Please, don't hurt me again. I can't survive it again. I can't let you put me through that again..."

He pulls you to him again and whispers in your ear, "I won't. I won't. I won't let you down this time. Please don't be afraid of me... I want to love you... Let me love you... If you'll just let me, we can fix this... We have have a relationship in which we communicate more. Oh, Y/n..." he sighs. "Don't you realize how much I care? I- I would give my life for you."

You blink, staring at him.

Everything looks so promising. That's why you're scared.

It almost looks too promising.

"You say you would give your life for me. But would you really? Maybe you would you give your life for me if it meant losing it. But would you give your life to me while you're still alive? Would you clean the dishes? Would you help me when I'm sick? Would you grab an extra ingredient from the store if I needed it? Would you drive Y/s/n to school when you could? Would you really? You're gone half the year, as it is."

His jaw clenches, then un-clenches. "I would do anything and everything I could do for you. I want to share my life for you. Until death. And I'm one hundred percent sure on that. I've had years of thinking about this." There's hope in his lovely eyes.

So much hope.

You sigh, staring down at your lap.

"Y/n. I'm sorry. Please. Not only do I need your forgiveness. But your son does, too." He hesitates. "And I hope you know no matter what happens, the guilt of what I've done to you will weigh on me my whole life. That's why I want to fix it."

You gently slip your hand in his and whisper, "Please don't hurt me."

He wraps his fingers around your hand, holding it. "I won't."

You nod slowly, another tear rolls down your cheek, and it feels like all the molecules in your body are being ripped apart as you barely whisper, "Okay, Charles. We can try this again."

[thechekhov]

Dungeon Meshi Quick Reacts

CH.30 (Good Medicine)

I kind of assumed that things would get worse from here...

...yeah, there's no 'but' to that. Getting Falin back so quick was too good to be true.

Aren't those the ghosts Falin talked to? They could be friendly.

"ee gads! a hairless little man!" I'd be frightened too if Chillchuck was suddenly behind a door I'd just opened.

Chillchuck, buddy, less than 24 hours ago you threw a knife directly into a dragon's eye. You can take care of some worgs, right?

Senshi's a card carrying member of the smells-okay-to-me-chief club.

Orcs be like 'oh, dragon's gone? Hm. Curious' and then just carry on. Wouldn't you be worried that something took out the dragon? Could be even more dangerous than the dragon itself.

I feel like at this point Falin might be just that.

MOUTH TO MOUTH RESUSCITATION!

Marcille, I don't think you have a lot of options.

......just realized those moose antlers are holding up her rack. Talk about a pushup bra. Damn. Respect.

Wait go back to that "create monsters to do their bidding" thing again. Was that the little mini dragons or does that include larger monsters like the dragon itself?!

OR something that was IN the dragon, controlling its actions and make it act irrationally? Is that why the Sorcerer wasn't surprised to see Falin as a separate thing outside the dragon? Was the assumption that whatever THING it was had escaped and become Falin?

And for all we know... it kinda had. It had merged with her spirit....

Or maybe I'm way off.

Congrats on the larger story plot! :D You're now in even more danger! Hoorah!

Chillchuck, a normal person would just go 'I'm leaving, pay me'. You're giving yourself away, worrying for them.

I can't hate him for the reasoning here. The deeper you go, the less likely you are to be found. The only person who cares enough about Marcille and Laios and Chillchuck to find their bodies are.... each other. So if they're dead here, they're likely dead-dead.

I want to nestle into her bosom and live there as a little creature.

Moreso than when she was literally in the gullet of a red dragon?! Come on, be reasonable. At least she's alive now. And remembers who she is.

Ooooh friendly ghosts. Makes sense why Falin was so chill about them.

All the more reason to believe there's something to be done!

Love the doggo yawning behind Chillchuck.

He's a coward, but being afraid isn't necessarily a sign of weakness. It's a sign that you realize how dangerous a situation is. Cowardice isn't stupidity, no more than ignorance of danger is bravery.. I think the orc leader is maybe realizing he's not doing it for completely selfish reasons. Mad respect to her though.

It WAS Falin, wasn't it? It wasn't as if it was a thing pretending to be her. She was there, and she was revived successfully, and then the soul confusion thing happened.

......damn. What a small holiday they got, before the next horrible thing happened...

hey, Marcille is not dumb! She's got loads of braincells! they're just all focused on doing evil stuff and being gay.

🎯

That's right! It's just like you, Chillchuck!

Was that... there before?

Oh, okay, no, it was. Hm.......

This stupid man is about to full a Falin and jump out a window to go look for her, isn't he.

Gods, this sucks for him so much. For all of them. Because they.... they WERE successful! They rescued Falin! They brought her back from the head! They DID that!

But now, instead of getting the reward of it, she's just gone. Is it better, because she's alive?

Or worse, because the threat is even more nebulous?

If they all died, would it be worth it?

who's the coward...? he's ready to go back.

For Falin, they went down there. They risked themselves.

For them, after talking to him only a bit, the orc leader went from 'hey, nice snack for my dog' to 'we're helping you get that girl back'.

It's about the CONNECTION!!! IT'S ABOUT HELPING EACH OTHER AFTER LEARNING TO UNDERSTAND ONE ANOTHER!!!

[lxmelle]

Just some thoughts on 270

Yes the end is near.

Yes I almost threw up when I saw that unmistakable hairstyle...

Yes I was a bit disappointed that there were no visible satosugu crumbs - or are there? More on this later... and the it overall just felt a little bit 😔 empty 😪

Nevertheless, I want to just blab about a few things.

First, is it Geto/Kenjaku?

If we think about how Yuta’s copy CT works, Rika would need to consume a viable part of the sorcerer. The only part of Kenny left was his whole brain. He was the brain. The rest is Geto. We have not seen any evidence of Yuta having CSM, so it can be assumed that Yuta did not have Rika eat any part of Geto. Otherwise, it’s be Geto’s CT and not Kenjaku’s body-hopping technique.

Imho: The person with Takaba is not likely to be either Kenny or Geto. Geto cannot function without a brain, there was none “spare” either, so the theory of a spirit entering the body is going to make it alive again - no, it doesn’t. There is no other living sorcerer who can do that - Ui Ui maxed it out with the number of times and there is no other person to swap with. Just. Not. Possible.

And Kenny was seen to have told Mimiko and Nanako that he took Geto’s brains out to inhabit it.

So. My conclusion is that Gege is baiting. Just as he did with the “we have to help Yuta!” And the rude yelling that got so many of us wondering just who would speak to roughly to Yuta and what warranted it. We were all asking: who calls Yuta “Yuta” and not “Okkutsu-senpai” etc. I even thought it was Shoko, assuming that Maki was in the same hallway as the others, but the main culprit was of course the most obvious, Maki herself.

And that baiting thing with the clock theory about 2:21 pm linking with chapter 221 of Gojo’s unsealing - I theorised it’s about having presence (like how spiritualists, and in Shinto, believe that spirit is all around us) despite being dead and his soul with Geto.

And goodness know what other theories there are out there about time and Gojo revival. I’ve said before that I don’t buy into it, but it is interesting.

So is it Geto? Kenjaku? I 80% think not but... yeah, I am worried. To be completely transparent, I’m so scared that it is.

Because I’m in the camp of: please please Gege, please please please let Gojo and Geto be at peace in their eternal afterlife until they’re ready to be reborn and let them find each other over and over and over again.

So rationally, I doubt it is. But I’m worried. I’m worried for reasons like: why aren’t the bodies and resting places of Gojo & Geto still not mentioned?

Next thing to I have some thoughts on are about Itafushi. They’re really good friends and I think it’s also just one of those things Gege is doing because it’s JUMP and he doesn’t want to just pretend the Hana -> Megumi thing is forgotten. It also shows some character growth.

So overall, I’m rather neutral about the Megumi + Hana thing. They’re still kids, and Yuji + Megumi are compatible but they’re also not quite Satosugu, so their relationship will be undeniably different. Friends or otherwise.

It’s nice to see the Megumi is taking initiative and finding novel ways to make new meaning & connections. I wouldn’t read too deeply into it, especially since Hana obviously read too deeply into it and got it all wrong.

I will say that it feels cliche maybe. Again it’s maybe a JUMP serialisation thing shonen mangakas do, since a big portion of the fanbase are young boys too. Gege can’t be doing too much for lgbtq+ too obviously after all.

So it leaves me feeling it is a little reminiscent of the Sasuke and Sakura pairing in Naruto - as if it could become something seemingly out of convenience/settling/making do, but what do I know? Sometimes relationships in life are like that. I’d rather marry my best friend, but you know... different strokes for different folks. As they say.

Now it wouldn’t be me if I didn’t find a way to make it about satosugu. I’m imagining collective groans from people who may be reading this... so please skip if you’re bored of me now, lol. Or read on if you like to be in satosugu delulu brainrot like me.

One of the satosugu-related takeaways from this recent chapter is that it seems to reduce the possibility of interpreting Gojo not allowing Shoko to process Geto’s body as being out of consideration for her.

Her saying that the idiot should have let her process Geto’s body pretty much says Gojo took matters into his own hands. Not only was it protocol… but she also personally thought it would be a privilege. But Gojo did not let her.

We ofc don’t know the details.

So it leaves us with: He did it for his own reasons, or reasons at least relating to Geto. Kenjaku thought it was out of consideration. And Kenjaku is not a reliable narrator, nor was Geto... who tended to think he didn’t matter.

You know, as a person who can quietly just swallow vomit and shit rags without complaint. As a person who could practically transform the filth, negativity, evil, and darkness of the world into power that he could use for good - he was vessel of sacrifice.

Anyway, I digress.

It seems to indicate that Gojo kept his body to himself ... for his own reasons, breaking protocol.

And referring back to 270 again, for Shoko to talk about the afterlife right after preparing the body -> cremation is strange. Does preparing the body and cremating it have anything to do with the afterlife? 🤔 so somehow, prepare body -> cremate -> mourn/afterlife?

Interesting in that Gege is giving us yet another example of how everyone has a different reality / belief. If we believe what we saw in Gojo’s death, then there is one and Shoko will be proven wrong when her time comes like how Gojo was wrong about dying alone.

And it is also interesting in the sense that it’s familiar…

Something about how she said prior to Gojo’s unsealing, about “I couldn’t love either of you like you loved each other, but I was there too.” - am I reading too deeply? Probably. But it’s there for me to read.

Shoko prepared Tsumiki for cremation. She was made her beautiful for the afterlife - even if she was to be cremated, there was something about giving her something (dignity?) before she turned to ash. And those left behind can send them off into the afterlife feeling they did their best.

I think you’d need a certain level of trust for someone to hand your beloved over. Or at least feel like they would mourn the departed like you would. Or faith that your beloved would be happy with entrusting you with that decision. In some cultures, the family wash and swathe their dead in cloth with their own hands where possible.

So Shoko. Shoko could do it for Geto, for Gojo. She was there. She was willing. But. It was almost as if saying that Gojo 1. could not allow someone else to prepare Geto’s body, and neither did he seem to have mourned because 2. Geto was not cremated to be sent into the afterlife. As if he didn’t trust anyone. As if he could not let go.

Again, Rika kept Yuta’s body “alive” too. Parallels are paralleling.

I don’t know how Geto regenerated or if Kenny was responsible for it. Or if Gojo somehow did. But those are just unnecessary details at this point.

And again, Shoko was there but she could not be like what Gojo was to Geto and what Geto was to Gojo.

How complicated.

I’m reminded of that scene where he says to ichiji and Shoko: “There are just 3 of us remaining huh.”

In agreement to Shoko acknowledging that Geto’s body needed retrieving from Kenjaku, it was quite a pregnant pause from Gojo before he goes, “………yeah.”

He seemed surprised Shoko brought it up and decided to just gloss over it.

To me, it collectively implies that Gojo doesn’t let Geto be anyone else’s but his.

His friendship was his one and only. His loneliness was his. His dreams were his. His love was his. His life was his. His body was... his. And his soul was his too. As was his satisfaction.

I think Gege wants us to understand something here. By what he is showing and not showing us.

If I think about the exclusivity that they shared... the whole, “we are the strongest (together)” and “it wouldn’t be bad to be killed by you” or even “I’m jealous but if you were satisfied I’m glad for you.” and then “if you were there to pat me on the back I’d be satisfied.”

It’s a lot like... only YOU can be the one. And therefore I think Gojo kept Geto all to himself. Maybe thinking Geto would only want HIM to touch his body.

It was his exclusive right. And that was mutually shared... because Geto wasn’t really pleased with Gojo getting satisfaction from elsewhere (lol, you know, the “jealous” 妬けるね that got the fandom in a frenzy).

I’ve mentioned it in another post... link: https://www.tumblr.com/lxmelle/758015943938113536/i-love-the-idea-of-mutuality-that-is-deeply-rooted I really do like the idea of Gojo and Geto just teaching each other things. Like selfishness and love. Binding each other to the other. Selfishness and selflessness as part of being human.

Was this an act out of the side of Gojo that was “a little selfish, a little inhuman but a little too human”, and he wanted to keep Geto all to himself? Despite not giving his best friend a proper burial?

When I think about how he normally did what Geto approved of (you can dispute this if you wish) and I think back to how he might’ve really given Geto’s body back to his family- but what we saw in the manga seemed like they didn’t have much involvement either. Surely they’d have wanted Geto cremated?

So it leaves me with the idea that it was Gojo acting out his secret feelings.

Just Gege and how he shields Gojo’s privacy. Secret words. Secret thoughts. You know. Gege being Gege letting Gojo do Gojo things.

I think we might need to accept that Gojo and Geto just have this exclusive thing we aren’t privy to.

That’s all for now. Abrupt ending 🫡

Thanks for reading my rambling if you made it this far 🫶

Feel free to share your thoughts/comments/criticisms 😄

[geminialchemist]

It’s been about a month since I beat Shadow of the Erdtree. Thinking it through, especially the ending, I think my thoughts have changed.

I think I hate that final boss and the lore around him even more than I did before.

Call me a Godwyn Stan, but I will die in the hill that he made far more sense than Radahn, and I’m gonna explain it.

Building up to the dlc, we know Miquella is close to three people in particular. His sister, Malenia, his father, Radagon, and his half brother, Godwyn. After Godwyn dies, Miquella becomes obsessed with bringing him back, or granting him a proper death. He tries an eclipse to bring him back, it doesn’t work, implied to be because the eclipse just will not happen. Now why would a heavenly body not move into its proper place again?

Oh yeah, Radahn! Guys got a hard on for holding back the stars. So it made sense that him being dead was a dlc requirement, on top of why Malenia would have fought him in the first place. It just fueled the idea we were going to see Godwyn even more.

Yeah, Godwyn is dead. I keep seeing that argument thrown around like it means literally anything. He’s super dead, prince of death, lord of the undead, blah blah, this argument is nothing but noise. The Realm of Shadow is where all things that die pass through. It’s basically the land of the dead! This argument that Godwyn is dead, to me, is the single dumbest argument against his return when you’re in a place all dead things go. That’s like saying Godwyn’s soul is trash, so you shouldn’t expect to find him in a garbage dump. If there was a single narrative way to bring that beautiful idiot back, it would be in this dlc because of where it takes place. If they had brought him back this way, no one would have batted an eye at its inclusion.

So, the dlc takes place in the land where all dead things pass through that is super hard to get to through by any normal means, so no one could really try to revive Godwyn this way. It has a plot where Miquella, who is obsessed with bringing Godwyn back, is trying to revive someone from death by shoving them into a new body, and then they don’t do it? They bring back Radahn like that made any form of narrative sense? Like two missable lines of dialogue from two separate NPCs can satisfyingly explain this stupid idea?

I don’t know if it was Miyazaki or GRRM who wrote this, but maybe next time they should let the intern with no writing experience do the plot for the next game, they might do a better job at crafting a sensible narrative.

There is so much to love about this dlc, and I’ve said it before in a previous post that I’m just better at airing out my grievances at a thing than my praises. But when I replay it, I have such a hard time finding the motivation to finish the second half of the dlc, knowing that is what waits me at the end. It feels like such a waste.

Rant over. I hope you have a nice day.

Edit: you know what, rant is not over(but I still hope you had a nice day)! This entire mess of a plot could have been avoided if they just… didn’t have Miquella resurrect anyone! Have an original boss! It’s almost as if this plot was designed with online discourse in mind because there is no way to not think of Godwyn when you think of Miquella trying to bring someone back from the dead!

Okay, now I’m done.

[most-datable-datable-bracket]

ROUND 4 MATCH 7

Chrom propaganda:

“Chrobin (Chrom x player character) is so many tropes in one oml. You have friends-to-lovers (Chrom and Robin are canonically best friends according to Nintendo), enemies-to-lovers (Robin is heir to the Grimleal cult, the enemy of the Halidom of Ylisse which Chrom is the prince, and later king, of), there's amnesia, time travel, official next-gen AUs, changed dialogue to lore important events in the game if you marry Chrom, and Nintendo keeps teasing us with the ship. Cheery prince who knows when to be serious, very strategically smart but very bad at communicating, a guy that can comfort you when you're down, make a fool of himself when you're not around, and he's just generally a very sweet guy. Also please consider the fact that you get to watch a cutscene of him dying in the prologue and despite the horrors he's just so supportive of the protagonist. Chrom doesn't care about where you came from or who you're related to, he cares for YOU. He gets KILLED by the protag and he reassures them that they did nothing wrong and pleads with them to get out, to a safe place. I lost my soul to Chrom, I physically can't play this game without romancing him.”

“He eats oranges with the peel still on, he's an absolute himbo. Also the writers accidentally made his daughter canonically trans so he definitely supports trans rights. And technically you can only marry him if you play as female Robin but their dynamic is still just as romantic if you play as male Robin (they literally call each other their other half and m!Robin and Chrom have a valentine's day duo unit in the gatcha, and in the anthology manga m!Robin asks Chrom to make polygamy legal so he can also marry Chrom's wife and they can be a family) so most people play the game with the gay mod so they can still marry him as a guy. He's incredibly stupid ("yeah, let's set all our ships on fire then walk through a volcano, you're so smart, Robin" "I know you've had prophetic visions about killing me and our daughter came from the future to warn us it would happen but I'm sure THIS TIME it won't because of the power of our bonds") but also really sweet. In the summer DLC they're fighting on a beach and when he sees Robin get excited over a weird creature they found he immediately forgets about the battle and starts trying to make a bunch of crafts (and failing) and cooking food (and failing again) and writing "Chrom and Robin were here" in the sand so that Robin could have some nice beach memories. I'm obsessed with this man”

Asra propaganda:

“He GIVES AWAY HALF HIS HEART TO REVIVE YOU okay but like. He's the MCs roommate and they were together for a few years before the MC caught a plague and died and he obsesses over a way to bring them back before succeeding by making a deal with a god to trade half his heart for MC and betraying the emperor. And then when MC comes back but without any of their memories, he takes care of them and teaches them how to live all over again and he never asks for anything in return. On all the routes where you don't choose him he's really supportive and helps you out despite your history and overall he's just really nice and supportive of the MC and is their rock no matter what route you go down. Also he has a pet snake named Faust and I love her she's so <33 

Idk I just appreciate him so much”

"He gave you half his HEART!! He would literally go to hell and back for you!! He wants to take you on adventures all around the world—doesn’t matter where, as long as he’s by your side!! AND he’s nonbinary!!!"

[s1llydr3amscape]

Day 5 : Canon Divergence @vanweek2024

Finally talking abt one of my fnaf AU's !!! I try to keep it brief but I cannot simplify for the life off me so yeah have some yapping!! Lots of major stuff and in-between events are not in here but that's what asks are for :] This one is pretty long so buckle up cuz here we go!!!

This au is basically just me taking the fnaf characters and putting them in my oc world!! It started ever since the first FNAF game came out but this story plot started out with Glitchtrap and a few other characters working at an office and shenanigans ensue. When in reality it's a setup because they actually end up killing people and selling off their flesh and pretending that it's organic meat in the market (Like mlp cupcakes + rainbow factory because those were pivotal to my development)

Vanny and all the other workers in a way where technically revived by Glitchtrap as rabbits (Or was already rabbits) making them indebted to Glitchtrap. They can't leave, they have to obey him. Reasons for Glitchtrap needing and starting this business venture is because he needs blood to keep this body I mean his new body alive (Me explaining why they'd have stitching) Because originally Glitchtrap was an entity who took the body of a deceased yellow rabbit and fixed it up enough (like in fnaf sl but this time he just found a fresh corpse) It's rotting the body is failing at this rate, he's going to decay way too fast and he wants to live. (Turning into the black goop like in princess quest)

He paraded as this joyful figure but that's far from the truth obviously. Originally before fnaf sb the body he stole was the father of my own blonde rabbit oc who was dead set on stopping Glitchtrap to let his father's body lay to rest. Even though his father was cruel and left him and his brothers alone, that's the least he can do. He chose to free his body from being mangled worse than it already is because he's a good person I mean better than his father ever was. He doesn’t know if he’s doing it more for himself sometimes.

However, since fnaf sb came out and the movie. I feel like Vanny fits this role better. So yeah to recap Vanny's dad died and Glitchtrap stole his body and made it his own. Vanny knows this later on but she too died in the same vain. Hence, why she ends up having her soul indebted to Glitch as well being the first few workers under him.

At first, she thought she was in hell she's supposed to be dead but she's not and her dad is still here? And he's still the same as ever yet something's not right. He just seems to be acting strange yet it's all too familiar for her.

Vanny ended up posing as a security guard for this residential area. She was tasked to basically infiltrate and blend in so that Glitchtrap had a new source of produce you could say Yet, even after all this Vanny still ended up befriending the Glamrocks. They cared and comforted her even after she wouldn't tell them her sorrows. They were real friends in a way. 

They're nice. In a way.

It felt nice to have friends after moving from area to area to avoid suspicion and ended up making friends. Yet Glitchtrap took this as a sign that she did this for him. Everything she did for herself is for him after all right. Lowering their suspicion on her by being friendly and outgoing, she’s thinking ahead for him. What a good daughter. Making them easier targets if someone were to ever happen to one of these lovely residents. They wouldn't question Vanny now would they! She's just their friendly neighborhood bunny

Her first target was Glamrock Bonnie. It was swift and quick but he put up a fight. Managing to damage one of Vanny’s eyes. The others don't know what happened as the camera feed was seemingly coincidentally cut. Vanny almost didn't make it out and had to leave the body there dead, managing to hide the evidence that she even laid a hand on him. Making it seem like he had fallen down the stairs after a robber tried to mug him. During his funeral, Vanny couldn't even be bothered to look down as he was getting buried. She stood there staring.

She did this.

She was being used as a trojan horse by Glitchtrap to get his supply. She still befriended the others. She shared moments of joy and laughter with them and yet she couldn't help but stare as he was lowered. Glamrock Freddy came to her and cried. This bustling hunk of sunshine weeped at her mercy. She tried comforting him but it left her bittersweet knowing she did this to someone who was nice to her. You’d think she’d be numb at this point but she’s not. 

She never was.

She ended up trying to push them away as the months began to pass. No longer making rounds when she knew they were at home. Deliberately avoiding going to social events and basically just trying to get this job done with. Even when she was doing her rounds and caught sight of the others she answered them rudely or just told them that she was too busy for dilly-dallying.

Roxy tried offering to give her a ride on her bike when she did her rounds but Vanny declined. Chica tried inviting her for lunch but Vanny declined. Freddy tried inviting her over for karaoke but Vanny. Even Monty tried inviting her over to play golf but Vanny declined. 

She's trying to make them hate her. She can't let her dad take them away from her too. She can't. Never again. So she's trying desperately to get them off of his scope so that they wouldn't end up as one of her victims packaged for eating. 

As long as they hate her as long as they don't want anything to do with her they'd be safe. They have to. They don’t need her.

It ended up working for a bit. But Glitchtrap is never satisfied. He never is. Suddenly neighbor after neighbor ended up mysteriously disappearing from this apartment complex. It was more common to see people move in than out and it was happening rapidly.

The residents have asked their landlord for higher security or that they'd move out as even families started going missing. Yet nothing changed. Not a peep gets out here. 

Until one day, Vanny was tasked to kill Freddy. A test by Glitchtrap and she couldn't do it. She tried begging for it to be someone else, anyone but her friend but he didn't like that his worker was testing his patience and took over.

There in the dead of night Vanny broke into Freddy's home. It was a sloppy job. Yet she strutted along. Holding onto the knife with such vigor. Just when she opened the door to his bedroom and tried to take the plunge. She slashed at a child's cheek.

What?

And in that brief moment Vanny regained control and had to face her bearings getting a migraine by the possession by Glitchtrap. She didn't know what was happening until it was too late and the kid fled outside. 

Great.

Basically fnaf sb happened but Freddy was at the pharmacy buying meds leaving Gregory (rabbit) home alone for a few minutes. Vanny, being puppeteered at the time by Glitchtrap, broke in intent on killing Freddy but ended up getting Gregory. Vanny and Glitchtrap didn't and doesn't know Gregory was there or who he was. This was because when Vanny tried to cut off the glamrocks Freddy ended up adopting this kid he found. Hence, why neither party seemed to know about the other because it was quite literally very recent. 

But yeah gist off the AU for now!!! Some parts are being rewritten and whatnot with the ruin DLC and book stuff but yeah!!! Short intro of the AU!!!

Headcanons / Lore :

-Vanny was blonde but ever since her resurrection her furs been turning white unknown if it's because she's technically undead or from stress (I like to think like from blonde bunny with green eyes into those white rabbits with red eyes)

-The workers are some canon fnaf characters and ocs

-Glitchtrap can't mind control Vanny all the time cuz he has other workers he needs to monitor and control, basically spanning a wide network. So he uses fear mongering tactics to get her to obey while he's away.

-Glitchtrap needs the flesh because his body is rotting and he needs pieces constantly to replace it. He only went after rabbits at first but due to his rapid decaying (turning into Burntrap as the story progresses) he went after anything that breathed and lived. I can’t decide if at the end of the story he should turn into Mimic where he’s just a walking skeleton or if he should just permanently die like in the Burntrap ending

-Vanny when she came back had many bald patches on her body after being stitched apart. She's trying to grow out her fur to hide what happened. Just to regain her sense of self. Yet things never change and so she ends up shaving it all off becoming bald like in security breach :[

-She knows that's not her dad but she's still scared of him even though he's much more different than how he was before. Maybe it's the unconditional love of a daughter for her father. Or she doesn’t know what a good parental figure is.

-Glitchtrap originally looked like the black goop version from princess quest, always ever changing, never the same as a being born of malice and hatred. He wanted to be a person like everyone else instead of a blob to be free of it all to start anew but he can't. Unless he acquired a body.

-His workers are only alive after he modified them, giving them life again by giving a part of himself inside off them kinda like a soul contract. Permanent scars literally. (How the enemies in Princess Quest look like rabbit people)

-Workers get sent around areas with dense populations and well acquires inventory from there. Glitchtrap gets money selling the flesh claiming it to be from regular animals. With the money he uses it to keep his body intact and alive. This is to explain how he turns into Burntrap becoming green and nasty.

-Each worker is associated with a smell. Vanny is onion. Glitchtrap is lemongrass. If you look at the sketch Scraptrap’s is garlic. If you’re asking why I did this it is because I just think it’s funny.

-There's more but I feel like I've talked enough!! Currently doing more writing to add ruin into this and trying to do a 2024 redesign for this AU!!! Including Vanny I need to make her more nasty and rotten <33333 

-Also be warned I love bittersweet endings if you fancy this AU

Her stitching and pupils keep switching sides because I couldn't decide 😭 Too embarrassed to show everyone elses design because the start off the story is goofy and the tonal whiplash is killing me. Scraptrap and Glitchtrap cameo tho!!. never realised how squished I made the heads.

I removed the blood due to the fact because being grabbed at the back off your head by an abusive family member still just as scary I should know

[graveyardzhift]

since i’m actually thinking about it today, i’m gonna talk about my very not-canon-compliant fake Mario & Luigi fangame

LINK TO THE CARRD WITH MORE INFO AND ART!!!

it’s viewed better on pc but im not stopping you

yea i know what you’re thinking and i PROMISE THERE IS A REASON FOR MAGICALLY BRINGING BACK ALL OF THE VILLAINS (it’s also because i miss them but there is a legit reason)

here’s where it gets long, so if you hate reading:

TL;DR, Alien kingdom is destroyed except for the king (King Galivus), his daughter (Princess Europa) and the royal advisor (Obriel). Galivus is separated from the two and doesn’t actually know they’re alive. The king speedruns thru like 4 stages of grief but he can’t accept this so he wants to rebuild his entire kingdom DIRECTLY on top of the Mushroom Kingdom.

oh and he’s only there in the first place because to rebuild his kingdom he needs dark energy and magic which he gets from reanimating the previous m&l villains since their souls are a potent source of dark magic. he promises them a new and better world (and a second chance at fighting the Mario Bros.) but in the end he’s only going to use them for their power to get back his family and his subjects and then discard them

bowser is the only one that isnt coerced into king galivus’ bullshit so he the bros team up with the princess of voidspell to stop her dad from destroying the world yadda yadda

yeah, that was the tldr now get ready for the big guns (longer and more detailed version)

King Galivus (new guy beside Fawful in the image) was once the noble king of a distant kingdom out in space, the Voidspell Kingdom. That is, until it was destroyed by a rogue Starswallower; colossal space wyrms closely related to Blarggs that are thought of as deities across the galaxy. Galivus was thought to be the only survivor, and so he reluctantly fled through a portal before he could be caught in the falling debris. This coincidentally led him all the way across space to— you guessed it— the Mushroom Kingdom.

Before he arrived, Galivus rashly decided that he would bring back his fallen kingdom at any cost. For that, he would need a tremendous amount of dark energy. Which is why he headed directly to the Mushroom Kingdom— he had picked up on such a powerful energy signal, and a dark one at that. It was clear, this was the place to rebuild. The energy signal is actually remnants of Mario’s past foes, Cackletta, Fawful, The Shroob Princesses, and Antasma. Their very souls are brewing with dark energy, a perfect source of power. With all this magic combined, it would be enough to rebuild the entirety of Voidspell AND bring back Galivus’ loved ones.

So, he does the sensible thing, and uses his Twisted Staff to revive each villain. Some are reluctant to go along with his scheme, and others are ecstatic to be alive/in working order again and will gladly go along with Galivus’ plan. In exchange for their cooperation, he promises a nice little spot for them in his new world… and another chance at exacting their revenge on the Mario Bros.

What Galivus wasn’t aware of, was that there were two other survivors; the royal advisor and the princess of Voidspell, Galivus’ own daughter. They had escaped to the Mushroom Kingdom in a separate portal, out of Galivus’ reach. The queen and the rest of the castle’s inhabitants had been lost, but with Princess Europa alive, there was a chance at bringing Galivus back down to earth and stopping his selfish acts. She and the royal advisor, Obriel, seek out Mario and Luigi to help stop Galivus from destroying the Mushroom kingdom, its neighboring countries, and possibly the entire planet.

Also, Queen Jaydes certainly isn’t happy about Cackletta (and the rest of the villains, but mostly her cuz she’s died like two times now) being let off the hook so easily. Her and the bean witch definitely still have beef with each other.

There’s probably a lot that I missed or haven’t written down yet, but that’s most of it!! If you’ve taken the time to read all that, i love you <3 HAHAHA

[brekwrites]

Howdy Brek!! I hope you're doing well! I love your writing, especially where Sun and Solar are the protagonists, you write their relationship in such a beautiful, sexy and tender way.I hope this isn't taken the wrong way, but there's a scenario between the two of them that's been on my mind since the last chapter of "What if". And since I don't like the anguish of pure pain without comfort because my heart and soul are weak, I couldn't help but think of a scenario where even though Solar revives with bloodlust, that doesn't necessarily mean there has to be a sad ending, because it would be a Solar who at times becomes a feral vampire and that idea besides being terrifying can also be VERY SEXY if it turns into something romantic.Imagine Sun helping to control the ""thirst"" of him boyfriend Solar (it doesn't have to be just bloodlust, it could be hunger for star power too, perhaps... and other instincts and primitive needs heheh) until New Moon finds a way to "cure" him. But Sun would definitely be safe because he's the vampire Solar's partner.I personally would love to throw New Moon into that mix but I understand that some people don't like the concept of polyamory where siblings share a boyfriend.Anyway, this is by no means an order, just an idea I thought someone who enjoys Sun and Solar's sexy and romantic content might like.You don't have to reply to this message if you don't want to ok! Take care and again, I love your stories!

Hi!! I have actually been turning this idea over in my brain since the recent episode. I agree with you. Maybe the combination of bloodlust, but it’s still physically Solar, who doesn’t need blood to survive, but still needs to sate those urges? And blood itself isn’t doing anything for him, and he’s so hungry even though he’s eaten, and he ends up biting and feeding on Sun or New Moon. I honestly like both ideas, but as divergent possibilities.

I could see a Solar that was already in a relationship with Sun being brought back, Sun trying to comfort him and being so close and he’s so hungry. Sun realizing what he wants and offering himself up, and we get that nice topping from the bottom vibe I enjoy with them. Solar’s physically dominant, he’s feeding on him, but he’s being so, so careful, and Sun is the one that’s in control, because he has what Solar needs, and in the beginning he’s having to reassure Solar that it’s okay for him to have this, he’s willing to give it to him, he wants to give it to him. Yeah, that shit slaps.

I could also see a Solar that was crushing on Moon before he died being completely embarrassed that the object of his affections is seeing this side of him. Moon is trying his best to help provide for him, but it’s not working, and one day he gets too close at the wrong moment and Solar’s instincts kick in and he can’t help it. He bites him. And Moon makes this noise that’s… hmm. Queue lots of flustered apologies and both of them retreating to think about wtf they just learned about themselves. Eventually Solar goes to apologize and Moon just blurts out that he didn’t mind it, actually, and he really likes Solar, actually, and he wouldn’t mind a repeat performance.

I’ll add both to my possible fic list, and maybe you’ll see them in the future. My idea list is LONG tho, so it might be a bit! Could make a nice halloween special lmfao.

Thanks for yapping with me, this was fun! If anyone else wants to send me fun ideas to theorize about and get a quick little blurb like this one ^ and MAYBE (no guarantees) a future fic if the inspiration strikes, feel free!

[multi-lefaiye]

i could ask you to elaborate on why purple boy is slowly turning into a lion monster. and you can answer that. but what i really wanna know is what killed him the first time.

:3c oh i am so glad you asked this question

short answer: his mother. or at least, the creature that used to be her.

long answer: WELL. (cw under the cut for non-graphic descriptions of body horror, discussions of ableism and terminal illness, and also just. straight up. i'm telling you how eden died. not going into graphic gorey detail but yeah </3)

so, eden's mom died when he was 12. famously, that's an event that really helped shape his life, second only to abdiel leaving six years earlier. however..... it's important to know that those two things are related.

y'see. eden doesn't know this. but hannah had been sick for a long time, and part of why abdiel left was to go find a cure for her. that's not what she wanted him to do, of course. hannah wanted him to stay with her so they could enjoy the time she had left. but he was determined to cure her and that he'd have to leave her in order to do so. so. welp. her wishes in this situation would have to wait.

another important part of this puzzle is that abdiel is a necromancer by trade. he knows other schools of magic as well, sure, but necromancy has always been his focus. and he specifically is a major proponent of the idea of using necromancy for healing, rather than simply resurrection. that's what much of his life's work was focused on.

so, abdiel sought to find a way to use necromancy to help cure his sick wife, and he failed, and she died. and eden, who was left feeling worthless and alone after his father abandoned him (and after basically all the adults in his life failed him, one way or another ), decided that part of his revenge would be destroying that work and making it his own.

eden would become the only dr. linnaeus remembered by history, by doing what abdiel had failed to do. by not only reviving hannah, but curing her illness entirely, and then using that to cure anyone else suffering like her who wants to be saved.

of course, by the time eden knew any necromancy magic himself, hannah was long dead. and... from a purely practical perspective, eden was nowhere near skilled enough as a spellcaster to be able to use any traditional necromancy to revive her. so eden decided, instead, to try something new.

he was going to revive his mother through transmutation magic, through the alchemy and artificer infusions he was already learning and showed a great affinity for.

i'll skip ahead in this explanation, but basically eden's idea was to create a new body for his mother's soul to inhabit. he wouldn't be reviving her in her original body, no, he'd be reviving her in one free of the pain and illness she'd suffered from for much of her life.

(before i continue, i'll just go ahead and establish this now: no, eden did not consider whether or not hannah would want to be resurrected. by this point, his tunnel vision on beating abdiel, one way or another, was beginning to consume him. ethical concerns didn't matter so much at that point.)

skipping ahead again. when eden finally succeeded at the ritual he'd created, it... backfired, putting it nicely. the creature he created wasn't hannah, not really--it had her face and it spoke in her voice, but it wasn't her. it was a mass of limbs and teeth, with too many eyes and an enraged howl that shook eden to his core.

he tried to reason with it at first, to get it to recognize him and calm down as it thrashed around his lab. and it lashed out at him, slashing him across the face and throwing him to the floor. and for a moment eden just... lied there, shaking and staring at the monster he'd created. it hurt. that thing wasn't his mother, but it was her face and her voice screaming at him, cursing him for creating it.

and then he was just... angry. how fucking dare this thing attack him? how dare it be such a failure? how dare it ruin everything he was working for? how dare it act like this was his fault?

before he really knew what he was doing, he grabbed a hammer from his artificer tools and lunged at the creature, intending to put it out of its misery so he could try again. clearly, he needed to refine the ritual, but he was on the right track. he just-

(eden managed to kill his creation, but it fought back and mortally wounded him in the process. he shoved its body into the open fire at the heart of his lab, where he'd brew potions and boil water when he needed it. and by that point, he was too exhausted to keep going and try to find help. so he just... lied there, and bled out slowly.)

(as a not-so-fun aside to this. when eden's body was found a few days later, there was an investigation launched by the university. a recent graduate dying brutally in his university-funded lab? yeah that raised some eyebrows. ultimately, though, said investigation determined that eden had killed himself, as by then the creature's remains were burned until they were unrecognizable. everyone assumed it was just some... *thing* he'd been studying.)

(very few people were surprised by that news.)

[risingsoleil]

Thank goodness for the Linzin mid-yeat revival. It's keeping me sane.

My nerd side loves the idea of future generations looking back into historical couples. Think on the literal compilation of Napoleon's love letters but make it Tenzin's, or the study of Queen Victoria's complete devotion to her husband but make Lin.

Idk, there's something about true love stories in historical power couples that seems so in tune with them.

This gives me reincarnation AU vibes!

A hundred years later, when a new Avatar helps bring balance to the world, a nonbending woman visits the museum with her nonbending boyfriend.

They've only started dating about a month, but the moment they first met, their hearts and souls were reunited. Even with one glance, all they felt was love, safety, peace, and home with each other. As if they had known each other their entire lives and had finally found the other.

An exhibit at the museum dedicated to all the Avatars and the important figures/mentors has opened to the public. The man has suggested they check it out and his girlfriend sighs and goes along with it.

They walk through the maze of chambers and rooms, recording videos of the holographs. One section boasts AI and the man scoffs at the idea of a respectable museum giving in to a dangerous technology. It's educational, but he has conflicting views on it.

Avatar Korra is the last room and somehow, the energy and vibes in this room are heavier compared to the others. The woman walks with her hands behind her back, viewing the photographs and reading the paragraphs about them. Then she sees the statue of Chief Lin Beifong standing beside Master Tenzin.

Her heart flutters as she stares at them in awe and fascination. She can't move, blink, or speak. There's something about the hardened and fierce expression on Chief Beifong's face that resonates for her. Beifong has the same green eyes as her and she can't tear her gaze away from the two scars. What could have caused that? Was it from her job? Was there an accident? What is it like to bend metal and earth?

Warm arms slide around her waist from behind. "You kinda look like her, Poppy."

She raises a brow and turns in his arms. "Is that a good thing?"

He smiles and kisses her cheek. "Yes. She's beautiful."

"Hmph."

"Not as beautiful as you, but she looks like you except with years of wisdom."

"Who's an earthbender, metalbender, and can kick ass."

Her boyfriend shrugged.

Poppy shook her head and shifted her attention to the airbending master. "You look like him."

"I wouldn't look good bald. And I don't like red."

"But you have the same eyes and light blue tattoos."

"Wow babe. Such a convincing comparison."

Poppy walked out of his arms, but grasped his hand gently pulled him to inspect the first airbending child of Avatar Aang. She studied the red, yellow, and orange robes. "Red is nice. It's the color for war, passion, fire."

He hummed unimpressed.

She wriggled her hand against his. "Come on, Lao. Entertain me."

Lao read the text detailing Master Tenzin's work and life. "They're exes...that's so sad." He pulled Poppy closer, wrapping his arm around her shoulder protectively. "I wonder why they didn't work out. They knew each other their whole lives and grew up together."

Poppy rested her head against his shoulder. "Sometimes things just happen," she muttered sadly. "Maybe they wanted different things. She didn't have any kids and he had kids right after they broke up."

Her boyfriend clicked his tongue, his hold on her tightening. "Probably to save the airbenders..." Lao inhaled deeply, wiping his eyes and shaking his head. "They came back anyway."

She hugged his waist, rubbing his side soothingly until the strange and sudden emotions passed. Lao gave her a soft smile. "You okay?"

"Mhm. Yeah, I'm fine because you're in my life."

She mirrored his smile and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. "I'm glad we're not famous and we can live the way we want."

[wulfums]

Do you have any extra info about Crittertopia? Just wondering because this au is AMAZING! <3

tee hee thank you...im surprsied people are so interested in it. my thoughts are Very disorganized !!

but basically! smormu is in charge of crittertopia. he specifically has it out for the smiling friends. after his Twin With The Exact Same Name got killed he moved to the Enchanted Forest way before any of this.

Mr Frog is Actually not a critter. He is a demon. (Also he and Gristle knew each other in imp training loooong ago. They went to Imp Prom together lmao) So he isn't effected.

Gristle is only partially effected, being half critter half demon.

Charlie and Allan's aggression towards each other reaches a point to where Allan is forced to Leave. So him and Whatwulf find a nice secluded cave behind a waterfall and live there now.

Grim and Gnarly still have it out for Pim and Charlie! So when Smormu lets them in on Some of his Evil Plan they feel like they're included on all of it. They cause a Lot of issues allowed by Smormu to get the Smiling Friends mad at each other. When something genuinely violent and bad happens (IDK what. Someone gets very injured though.) Smormu publically Banishes the three of them and goes on about how he has evidence they've been behind all the issues in the town until now. And like.....yeah thats believable. They would be! So Grim, Gristle and Gnarly are banished now too and are so mad about it. They are going to find a way to get back at him.

I guess this answers an earlier ask but. Smormu and Gristle become friends and Gristle teaches Smormu some demon shit. He even gives Smormu his old notes from Imp School that he carries around because he drew funny doodles on them. They also happen to include shit like. How to ressurect a dark soul and bargain w/ them. So when Smormu banishes Grim and Gnarly, he genuinely expects Gristle to stay with him and is, for some reason, shocked when Gristle gets pissed at Smormu for pulling this and prefers to leave with his boyfriends.

So the main human group is on the other side of the Enchanted Forest. Critters feel repelled from it, so it's a good guess that maybe, something that may help eliminate Werecritterism might be there. They even have a guide. This is not good for them! Smormu revived + summoned Mip from the underworld. He also wants Pim dead, specifically. So if Pim and Charlie were there they'd be able to warn their human friends not to trust him...but they're not. The human group (Zoey, Marge, Jennifer and Desmond. Mr Boss stays back at the office to stay within radio range with the boys, since Charlie does have a radio collar. They have Jason so he just cannot deal with not knowing updates on Jason, and the part of the Enchanted Forest the humans have to go to has electronic interference.) has no idea who this is. Mip knows who they are. So they are being so horribly mislead. Yay!

Smormu and Mip probably kissed (This is how you seal a demon pact. Or at least thats what Gristle told him. Its not true, Gristle was just messing w him.)

Interestingly. Jason, despite being a critter, has absolutely no signs of werecritterism. Sadly everyone is too caught up in interpersonal drama to even notice that.

Even though the traits they get vary WILDLY! Members of the same family tend to have similar werecritter traits. Like Amy and Pim have basically the same features. Charlie and his uncle would as well.

A third minor villain appears! Whatwulf has a tracking collar that looks exactly like Charlie's radio collar, so he assumes it's also from Mr Boss (Since originally, Whatwulf is the one taking care of Jason, but Pim takes over that role.) but like. It's not. Mr Landlord has, apparently, had Werecritterism for way, way longer than anyone else (Due to the Morgue. The disease is directly connected to dead humans.) and like, actually physically wants them dead(You see, if all of Allan's loved ones are dead. Which just seems to be Whatwulf right now. He'll have no choice but to hang out with him!). He probably looks like a fucking. Scary cryptid or somth. This is the least thought out part so far, I have to figure out how it fits in.

Thats all the info I can think of

[mephinomaly]

[TL] PYSCHOBREAK/Chapter 4

[ This post uses Ois~su ♪ ]

Time: In the afternoon of the next day

Location: ES TV station, in HELLSING’s, formerly UNDEAD’s, dressing room

Adonis: I wonder what Sakuma-senpai is thinking.

Is this my punishment?

No, it can’t be… Since it’s Sakuma-senpai, there will be some sort of deeper meaning to it.

Koga: Huh?

You think way too highly of that stupid old man. Nothings goin’ on in that head of his.

He does whatever he wants without a thought and then afterwards he makes up some shit ‘n goes “that went all according to plan.” He’s an idiot.

Adonis: You understand Sakuma-senpai very well, Oogami.

Koga: At one point in time, he was all I thought ‘bout, so.

Don’t matter how much I think about a version of him that only exists in my head, it has nothin’ to do with reality.

Adonis: ...

Koga: Anyway. What are we doin’ ‘bout this situation?

Adonis: I’m not sure. Actually, I wanted to discuss that with you.

Yesterday, we came face-to-face with fake versions of ourselves, with HELLSING, at the AIIE testing facilities.

After we explored the facilities, Sakuma-senpai gave us a course of action.

He said “let us turn this misfortune into fortune and take advantage of what is happening.”

Koga: Hmph~, I still think it would be better if we jus’ got ridda HELLSING entirely.

But it’s hard to tell the difference between them and the real ones, so it’ll be pretty hard t’kill them ‘cos it’s like they’ve got a mind of their own.

Adonis: Umu. That is one of the problems with AI.

Should AI, and robots alike, be given human rights?

If we don’t acknowledge this, and only use them as a means to an end, are we not creating a new system of slavery?

Koga: Nn, I don’t like thinkin’ ‘bout complicated shit like that. The HELLSING guys are surprisingly nice, ‘n they follow every command we give ‘em.

Even if they start bad mouthin’ us, we can turn them off with a remote control. They’re just machines.

It’s more of a problem of, is it alright for us t’dispose of them losers for our own convenience. They’re alive— well, they’re not, they’re machines.

Adonis: Do machines have souls?

Koga: I dunno man. But Sakuma-senpai said they might ‘n that's why we can’t get rid of them. We can’t mindlessly throw ‘em out.

Adonis: Sakuma-senpai is a nice person after all.

Koga: Yeah but he’s not a pussy, he’s jus’ sick of messin’ up other people’s lives with his own hand. AI ‘n shit ain’t humans, but, you get my point.

If I was destroyed by the person I loved, I’d want the same.

Adonis: …Anyway, HELLSING began idol activities when we were participating in that experiment and were isolated from the outside world.

And that ‘radical, immoral’ unit received widespread support, especially from long-time fans who expected that side from us.

It seems that Sakuma-senpai is taking full advantage of this situation.

Whilst HELLSING deals with radical, rock band type of activities—

UNDEAD will handle a variety of things that we have been undertaking since ES’ establishment.

It’s important to keep old fans happy whilst simultaneously bringing in new ones. Sakuma-senpai is trying to please both sides without alienating anyone.

With that, he believes that this will lead to our revival.

Koga: He wants t’split us up, divide us into light ‘n dark.

Normally I’d be totally against that…

But now we have handy robots that can act on our behalf.

It’s like they're copy robots. Hm.

Adonis: Copy robots…?

I’m not sure what you mean by that but HELLSING’s utility was proven at today’s live.

Koga: Mhm. When Hasumi-senp—I mean, shitty glasses, tried t’attack us on stage I was thinkin’ what the hell do we do.

There’s not a chance he’d understand our situation right now.

Adonis: It wasn’t exactly an attack per say, Hasumi-senpai was worried.

Koga: Hmph, he’s always been a nosy fucker. He’s like a stray dog or somethin’ that can't bare to be alone.

Adonis: I believe that’s true for a lot of people though.

Koga: Well, whatever. Shitty glasses is a good guy at the end of the day. It’s hard t’believe that there’s robots that look like humans operatin’ behind the scenes.

Until it becomes public knowledge that we’re usin’ AI idols, no one, not even shitty glasses, is gonna notice.

Adonis: Umu. At the moment, it is better for us to keep their existence hidden as if we reveal the truth, we may be subjected to harsh words and lose credibility.

I feel as if we are deceiving fans, which upsets me.

Koga: Yeah, it’s probably better if we tell ‘em.

But not right now. We gotta focus on dealin’ with all the new things HELLSING brings.

That’s why I’m worried ‘bout lettin’ the AIs do whatever they want at the moment. It’s best if us two monitor HELLSING.

Adonis: Yes, then us, along with fake Sakuma-senpai and fake Hakaze-senpai will perform radical, immoral activities at HELLSING.

Whilst real Sakuma-senpai and real Hakaze-senpai take part in variety shows and such with fake me and you as UNDEAD.

Koga: Our AIs are pretty good at what they do, so I ain’t too worried ‘bout them.

They’re doin’ a live broadcast but they’ve gotta act properly when they do a variety show.

Adonis: Yes. I cannot say yet as to whether this decision will turn out to be a good or a bad one—

So far, everything’s been smooth sailing. So much so that it’s scary.

[ ☆ ]

Chapter 3

Chapter 5

[some-pers0n]

Euthanasia

Fandom: TF2

Characters: Medic, Engineer

CW: Major character death

Summary: Ludwig didn't need to worry about death. It was so far away that he couldn't care about feeling the cold embrace of finality. Which was why Dell telling him that he was dying threw him so off guard.

Word Count: 1.6k

A/N: I'm sad now.

Right off the bat, this oneshot is inspired by one of @archiarthur's comics (this one) and it has rotted my mind entirely. I saw that they were okay with fanfic being made of their art (or that they'd be flattered about it) and I just...yeah. I'm very awkward and I'm sorry if I did something wrong I– uh... Here!! Old man yaoi!!

Death was a concept that Ludwig didn't care to think about. Despite being surrounded by death from his time as both a doctor and mercenary, the concept was too abstract for his liking. The idea that a being full of memories, thoughts, and general life could be wiped out in an instant was...uncanny to sum up in a single word. He grew used to the concept but never did that underlying sense of dread and existential horror truly disappear. 

He never gave too much credence to the thought of himself dying, at least permanently. He flirted with hell enough. If any of his organs were to start shutting down he'd merely replace them. He was a healthy enough man and had grafted enough souls in him to live more lifetimes than anybody needed to.

Ludwig didn't need to worry about death. It was so far away that he couldn't care about feeling the cold embrace of finality.

Which was why Dell telling him that he was dying threw him so off guard.

"You don't..." he lightly chuckled. "No, no. You're joking again, aren't you? Pulling my leg?"

Dell snickered. "Wish I was. But, I can feel it. Somethin's up. Don't know what. I just know my body's...breaking down. It's time."

"That can't be right. No, I– we did everything right. Got married, settled, been together for decades now... You can't go. Not after everything we've done."

"Life works that way, I guess. Everything's right and nice for a good couple of years before it all starts falling apart." Dell gave a lighthearted shrug.

"You're only in your eighties."

"Ain't that when most people start dying off though?" Dell cracked a smile. "It's sooner or later this was gonna happen."

Ludwig could only stare in disbelief. Part of him clung to the idea that this was some elaborate joke. Perhaps it was his mind slipping away and making him have vivid nightmares. Anything other than to face reality. To continue believing there would be another day he could spend with his love.

But, this was real. This old, aging man before him, his husband, was dying.

He couldn't help but look longingly at him. Only now did it settle in how much he's aged. He was seated in a wooden rocking chair, a patterned blanket covering his legs. He'd ditched the overalls a long while ago, now opting for cozy and warm cotton sweaters. His eyes were cloudy and he was wearing a pair of square glasses. His hair was little more than a couple of grey wisps. His beard was long and silvery. Despite it all, that look of kindness and passion remained within him.

Ludwig couldn't lose that. Not now, not never.

"I could fix whatever issue it is though!" he said. "It won't take too long. I haven't had a proper transplant in a while,  but I'm fairly certain that my skills–"

"That won't be necessary, doc," Dell replied. "I'm fine with dying."

Ludwig paused. "You're what?"

"I'm alright with dying. That's what I said, right?"

"But it's death. You'll be gone. I don't have access to all of my supplies and materials that are needed to revive a man-" He was cut off by Dell's wheezy laughter.

"Still don't get it?" he spoke through the snickers. "I'm good with passing. Forever. Finally being put to rest. No transplants. No resurrection. Just me going to the grave."

Ludwig furrowed his eyebrows. "No, no, no, that isn't right. You aren't supposed to go. Not now. Not ever. You're here, with me. You're always there."

"I mean, someday I'll hafta go, won't I?"

"But that's not– no!" Ludwig stood up. "You don't have to go. I– I can fix this. You aren't going to die. You won't. Don't you dare die on me. Ever." He crouched to Dell's level, resting his hands against his face. A myriad of emotions swirled within him. Denial, sadness, grief, false hope. He didn't even notice when tears began to stream down his face.

Dell sighed, his smile unwavering. "I know it's a lot. I'm sorry. But, it's what's gonna happen. You can try to swap out as many organs as you can. Replace my lungs. My heart. Hell, maybe you'd find some way to swap my brain out and keep me full here. That may delay the inevitable for a couple more years, but, we both know that my time's up."

"But I could–"

"Shh, it's okay." Dell raised his right hand, his Gunslinger, and brushed away some tears. "I'll have to die like everyone else. This machine, me, it'll fall apart and break eventually. You could try and fix it, keep it standing for as long as possible, but sooner or later it's gonna crumble."

He exhaled. "I know we were supposed to be gods together, but even gods have their time of rest." He grinned warmly.

Ludwig quivered. "...klar. If that's the way you want to go, I suppose that's how it'll go."

Dell yawned. "I know you wanna talk. There's a good chance I won't wake up tomorrow, but I can't stand to be up any longer. Sorry... I would if I could."

"Don't feel sorry! I'm happy enough you're able to tell me this now." He hugged Dell, wrapping his arms around him. "Would you like me to carry you to bed?"

"That'd be nice. Thank you, darlin'."

Ludwig scooped him up, supporting his back in one arm and holding up his legs in the other. He did it slowly and with care to not hurt Dell (although one wrong move and Ludwig very well may blow his back out doing this). His body was lighter than normal, yet still warm and comforting.

Ludwig carried him through the house, eventually ending up in their bedroom. He set him down on their king-sized bed, pulling the blankets over. He slipped his glasses off his face, placing them on the nightstand.

"Gettin' the royal treatment for dying now, aren't I?" he joked. "Though, thanks for doing this, doc. You don't need to."

"For you? I'd do anything. The least I can do is bring you to bed, mein Liebling." He took off his collared shirt and put on a plain white one. "Though, I do have one request."

"Fire away."

"May we...cuddle?"

"Is that even a question?" Dell said. "C'mon."

Ludwig slipped under the covers and rested his head against the pillow. He looked at his husband, a quiet sadness washing over him. Without hesitation, he threw his arms around him, bringing him close.

It was the nearest thing to a perfect moment. Dell was soft and snuggly. His skin was scratchy and rough, but beautifully comforting. He relaxed against him. He listened to the gentle thump of his heart. Life. Something that told him that he was still alive. He clung to that heartbeat, never wanting to lift his head.

Quietly, those tears returned once more. Slipped out of his eyes and raced down his face. His breath shook with anxiety and sadness.

Through it all, he felt Dell pat him on the back. "It's okay, darlin'. It's gonna be okay," he said. "I'm here with you."

"I love you..." Ludwig struggled to say. "I love you so, so much."

"I love you too. More than anything else. Don't forget that, alright?"

Ludwig sighed as he nestled himself closer to Dell. He didn't care if he seemed weak. He loved Dell. More than anybody else. Nowhere had he seen another man who cared about him– who understood him like Dell did. He found the only other man who was like him, and he didn't want to let go. Not yet. Not now.

But, the end has to come at some time, doesn't it? Sooner or later the story has to end. Gods move on and retire. Rest. They've worked hard and long for many years. They deserve to lie down and sleep, even if it was hard to say goodbye.

Ludwig didn't know when he finally dozed off, but it was a dreamless sleep. One moment he was silently sobbing into Dell. The next, the sun was peering through the blinds and his birds were chirping away.

He smacked his lips and rubbed his eyes. He turned over to Dell, seeing him laying on his back. He looked peaceful there. His face was relaxed, with the faint remnants of a smile on it. Deep in sleep.

Or, that's what he thought until he noticed that Dell's chest wasn't moving. It was still. In fact, he wasn't breathing at all.

Ludwig's heart dropped. He knew what happened. He didn't want to believe it.

"No, no..." he muttered. He inched closer, grabbing Dell's hand and holding his head. He was cold. Colder than any other body he'd felt before.

"Wake up," he pleaded, "aufwachen, bitte. Please, Dell... Don't leave me."

No response.

He was gone. There was no denying it. Ludwig couldn't begin to think of some excuse to deny this situation any further. No breathing. No sign that he was still kicking around.

He was dead. His true love passed away while he slept.

The tears returned once more with a vengeance. His breath was jagged and strained. Grief consumed him, sinking into his very soul. He couldn't think of anything else. All he could comprehend was one harrowing truth: his husband was dead.

He rested his head against Dell's chest. The absent heartbeat brought no comfort. Dell was dead. He would never see him alive again.

Death is natural, but that doesn't make the loss of the only one you ever loved any better, does it?

[x-authorship-x]

So, you have a lot of bookmarks on AO3, which I love to go through, because you have good taste. But I must know, are there any fics, from any fandom, that are pretty much your all time favorites?

Hiya

Yeah I do have a lot 🤭 over 7K on my side of things (I know some people are super picky about what they bookmark but I just do what a finished and liked, and l I like 95% of what I finish anyway, because I prefer to filter my own bookmarks when rereading...) and generally I will say that they're all good in their own ways. My big favs? Regardless of fandom?

Hm.... This is off the top of my head

Disclaimer: be very mindful of tags, warnings, and ratings! This is also not in any way meant to stir discourse and I'll just block people if they try something

Update: had to slash my link numbers as even my drafts (almost twenty of them lol) wouldn't save SO-!

Naruto

Tobirama/Kagami (I tagged this "Kagami hauls ass out of the ground" because I desperately need that shortcut to finding it) ⬇️

Summary: It’s just his luck that whoever revived him lacked the courtesy to summon him onto a nice bloody battlefield. No, instead he’s underground, probably in his own fucking coffin and wearing his own goddamn corpse. He hopes he remembers this when his soul is re-released into the Pure Lands; he’s going to kick Tobirama’s ass for inventing Edo Tensei in the first place.

Mild crossover with Venom, Team 7 genfic BAMFness (this fic is enshrined in my mind) ⬇️ 

Summary: By all accounts, Sakura is dead for the first five minutes of her life.

Yet, she continues. If she occasionally has too many, too sharp teeth then that's their business.

Team 7 & Rookie 9... Hysterical, that's probably the word for this masterpiece of comedy (I cry every damn time it gets to Genma interrupting the alley fight) ⬇️

Summary: Kakashi comes down with a cold seven(ish?) days after he passes his first genin team. He knew children were a bad idea but he didn't think it would change anything this fast.

Bnha/My Hero Academia

This fic is the one I rec to get people to actually read fanfic for the first time (and it always works)⬇️

Summary: Heroes lead by Bakugo.

Villains lead by Midoriya.

Seven days prep time.

Three days for Izuku Midoriya to show why they should be glad he's not a real villain.

The Quirk-science in this Todoroki-centric (subtle reincarnation) fic is just so delicious ⬇️

Summary: Todoroki Shouto has memories that he didn't make on his own, motor skills that his brain doesn't know how to parse, and a love of science and mathematics and physics that means he broke down his Quirk into its most intricate, universe-bending components at the age of seven.

In one universe, he wants to become a hero. In this one, even though he doesn't want to, he might have to.

Hawks-centric fix it BAMFness because hello to that insane quirk, insane backstory training and bleeding heart!⬇️

Summary: After the incident at USJ the Hero Public Safety Commission is concerned about the security of UA. With All Might still a target and a member of the staff they offer to add another hero to their roster to boost their security as well as appease the public.

Hawks does not want this job. He has many other jobs that need doing.

The kids are kind of cool though. They make him laugh.

In which Hawks unwillingly adopts children by the bucket loads and learns some things about himself in turn.

Then the League of Villains happens and his newfound teaching knowledge gives him IDEAS

Okay so this was originally about three times as long BUT Tumblr won't let me post that many links together and it's getting very late for me SO so I'll quit here but...! If anyone wants more recs, the rest of my list (which were other fandoms) or if anyone has a rec for me/my followers, go ahead and drop into my askbox!

Happy reading, Anon! Do let me know if you try any of these and what you think of them!