#but. idk. i really dont feel like i am missing anything what in the world is The Cute Girly Playful Way of calling someone you dont know
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#ok finally making a post about meds#I've not ever tried taking medication before. I was sorta raised with that classic 'dont rely on meds you have to learn to manage without'#I mean I was also raised with the idea that therapy is stupid unless you have 'real' trauma. and also like idk.#can't stay home from school unless your temp is over 100 or you're throwing up. etc. very suck it up mindset#so I was just really nervous to start. also of course worried about losing myself or whatever I know that's a silly fear but#it's also a common fear for a reason!!! anyways#so I finally was like 'I need to do something' when I realized I was so anxious I couldnt even get myself to go outside alone#like I just don't want to do ANYTHING alone to a detrimental effect. and it was butting into my ability to do my work...#for various reasons. but then ALSO adhd has been a constant issue with my work as well!#it is SO hard to write and draw on a weekly pace like I am without being able to focus#my whole life I've had these terrible nightmares constantly and I've always woken up constantly in the night#sleep has always been terrible so I've always dreaded going to bed.. ESPECIALLy because it didnt even make me less tired#it was more something that I just did because I had to.#but going to bed was always terrible. there have been times I was too scared to go to sleep for weeks on end...#I've been mitigating this for years of course. and recently I've been taking melatonin which has been helping too.#but I've also always struggled to get up. because I've always been EXTREMELY exhausted#but also anxious of what the day might bring... idk.#anyways it has all hit a point that I was like okay. I am doing as many coping mechanisms as I can. the psych said they were good too#but... it just has never been enough. it's never been enough to make me not tired it's never been enough to make me not scared#so I finally talked to the doc about it. and she was like youve def got smth wrong basically. which yah I know.. but yknow#anyways so I started taking wellbutrin. and I am so frustrated now. because it's WORKING#that constant looming sense of dread is gone. I'm excited to get up. I'm excited to go to bed BECAUSE I'm excited to get up#I feel like for years I've been holding on to the idea that I have to get up because I have to put something good out into the world#and I've been clinging to knowing that if nothing else. I am able to help other people feel better.#but now for the first time in my life I'm like. free of it. I didnt even know it was possible... and I'm so sad how much I've lost out on#and so frustrated how my whole life I've been told to put up with it and push through it. and treated like a failure for it being too much.#and just. It has only been 2 weeks. but the lack of anxiety is SO noticeable I'm so...#I'll never miss it. the adhd is still pretty present but like whatever. I can manage that better.#and I'm just crying because of all this combined.#I just. I hope I get to finally be the best I can be now. for myself but also for you guys!
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#sorry to vent post yet again the pms is pms-ing. i am ultimately in the end ok and this too shall pass etc#cw pet death#UNNA IS FINE no worries#i just. i just really miss Pulmu. my baby my sweet old lady. jesus fucking christ#i just. idk i still hold a lot of regret over her last months. i loved her so much I DID but no amount of love#and money and guilt and open mouth sobbing could make her not Old and Sick.#i just refused to see that because i wanted her to be alright so badly#i feel so bad about letting my feelings go over her comfort. i'm so sorry baby i shouldnt have hung on to you as long as i did#of i could change one thing about the whole of world's history it would be that. so you wouldnt have to die scared in a hospital#but i cant do that. i just have to live with the memory#usually i try not to be too hard on myself about it. first of all because beating myself up about it doesnt change anything#and also because i recognize that i was profoundly mentally ill about the whole thing. (not joking)#like i genuinely dont think i have ever felt and been worse than i did when Pulmu was old and sick. i wasnt thinking clearly.#i should have been but i wasnt.#it has been 1 year and about 8 months since her passing and still sometimes i dont know what the hell to do with all that grief#some days i'm completely fine and i can talk about her without problems. and some days i sob into my pillow feeling like i just got shot#ah well. nothing to it but to keep on trucking#i hope she's fine wherever she is.
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every time i open the comments on a nice funny and/or harmless tiktok video and see an interaction like this it feels physically exhausting
#not even saying that to be funny like i know im autistic so maybe i am truly just missing The Humor here#but. idk. i really dont feel like i am missing anything what in the world is The Cute Girly Playful Way of calling someone you dont know#a dummy in the comments out of nowhere
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venting in the tags yippeee
#damien.txt#gender talk time 🤪✌️#....................................................................................#screaming crying throwing up rolling around on the ground <- said completely deadpan#uhm. as always. thinking abt gender. and questioning. my whole life. bc. i cant stop doing that#soooooo like. my big thing. abt gender. is as much as im like. he/they-ing it here and irl. its kind of... complicated?#as ive gone on ive realized more and more that i dont. really. feeling Anything towards those pronouns#neither do i she/her. or they/them.#and just generally the whole Concepts of male/female? so like. im always like hmm. whats happening here#and other completely incoherent statements djbdhdbf sorrry anyways#i keep having these moments where im like. hmm. maybe. im leaning too hard into the masc. maybe i am not. he at all.#but ive like. really full committed to the bit yknow? like esp irl. all the ppl ive introduced myself to in the last 2 years have known me#as 'he'. and as someone who wears mostly masc clothing and generally attempts to present masc#and like. i bought a skirt a while ago and i was trying it on today and i was like oh. wait.#and before u @ me i KNOW!! clothing does not equal gender!! but there was just something abt it#and recently (the past like. year lmao) ive really been contemplating like. what i actually want out of transitioning or whatever#bc like. increasingly its become more obvious how... fucking difficult that is.#and the more i think abt it the more im like. bro its not even worth it for me? tbh? also like. sometimes i look in the mirror and am like#hmm. this does not feel better than it did when i hadnt transitioned at all. yknow?#like the last 10+ years ive been existing in this state w my body where im basically just. tolerating it. ignoring it. even.#and that hasn't... changed. after t. and ik thats not like the fix-all but its got me wondering if some of it/a lot of it#is just body dysmorphia? rather than dysphoria? bc like. god knows i have that too.#and just. idk. i feel Really Really anti-gender most of the time. would in fact. not like to be conceived of at all.#but on some level im trying to think abt it practically bc if that ^ is my thoughts on gender fr. i have to decide whats worth it#and like. i miss cool clothes. god men's clothing is so fucking boring. holy fuck.#and AGAIN i KNOW gender doesnt equal clothes but also like. i am Aware to the wider world it still works like that#and truly if i rocked up to work/class in a skirt everyone would be like What The Fuck#and i kind of want to!! but im also scared of that reaction lol#AHHHH why must gender be so complicated. i want to lay on the floor#lol there was literally more but i ran out of tags LMAOO sorry everyone. gender complicated. peace ✌️
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chicago
a/n I MISSED MAKING THESEEE
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y/n 💕
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tchalamet forever and ever
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y/n and always
shawnyn god WHEN
wonkaswhore if they ever break up I'll kms
tchalamet just posted a story!
~~~
@ceoofynandtim tweeted- it's kinda been a while since they posted each other huh... im scared. I MISS THIS ERAAA
@teddyyn replied- DONT EVEN THINK THATTT
@girlyyn replied- am I the only one thinking they're engaged? 🤭
@aliveyn replied to @girlyyn- but why aren't they posting each other at all!??!?!? it's v unlike them...
~~
@celebnews just tweeted- BREAKING ‼️‼️Timothée Chalamet and Y/n L/n have broken up. Verified by a close source, the pair have split after four years together.
@phasesyn replied- NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO💔💔💔💔💔💔💔😭😭😭😭😭
@wonkaswhore replied- love is dead.
@nightlyyn replied- no one touch me. my parents just got divorced
@ynxpaul replied- the way they spoke about each other... jesus how did this happen. never saw two people more in love.
@ronxyn replied- so we're all just believing this ?😭😭
@girlyyn replied- well. no reason to live now tbh
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y/n if it's real, then can you show me?
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pepperyn omg. that song.
yourfriend you're too gorgeous
rachelzegler MY PRETTY BEST FRIEND
sabrinacarpenter my shirt looks good on you
biyn LESBIANS !?!?!
dystopiayn girl they are friends 😩💀 sab has a bf!
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y/n trying to get in my horror era
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rachelzegler the horrors persist but so do we!!
y/n I love you
ynscurtains you're already a scream queen !!
harryynpot im literally a child of divorce omg
modernyn Timothée fumbled omg
chalsyn they both fumbled 💀💀
@celebnews just tweeted- Y/n L/n in a recent interview talking about her split from Timothée Chalamet: "We had a few months before the whole world knew, so I got to kind of heal and process everything in private without people looking at and analyzing my every move. Breakups are rough no matter what, whether or not you're public about it. There are days that feel worse than others, and.. it is because I really, truly, thought i was forever done with that whole dating portion of my life."
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@tchalametupdates just tweeted- Timothée seen recently greeting fans! When asked about his and Y/ns breakup he responded with, "Some things you just have to get through by yourself. I'm glad that you're all sending me love and support, but I'll be okay!"
@timschal replied- CRYINGGG 😭😭
@laurieslaurence replied- bro he seemed so sad 😭😭
@ynsstan replied to @laurieslaurence- well he broke up with her so idk why he's so hurt 🙄
@steelyn replied to @ynsstan- omg didn't know that you were part of their relationship too... dumbass
@ynxtimmy replied- I still think they're soulmates like they're gonna get back together watch !!!
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y/n took myself out for valentines day this year. it was actually quite romantic
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sabrinacarpenter beautiful girl
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rachelzegler we should've gone together
y/n next year 🤭
timmytimstan MAKE HIM REGRET IT
ynscurtains you're literally a timmy acc hello ? 😭😭
ynsheadphones kms cause their valentine posts were so cute
ynsshoes FRR their captions were always the cutest 😭😭💕
y/n just posted a story!
caption- single girl era 💕💕
@ynupdates just tweeted- While promoting her newest movie, Y/n was asked about Timothée, she expressed how she still has love for Timothée and doesn't hold anything against him. "He was the best person I've ever had the pleasure to love. I hold no negativity in my heart for him. Truly, I wish him nothing but the best forever and ever." She also went on to say that an Oscar win is definitely in his future.
@paulsyn replied- maybe they just need some time apart 💔💔💔💔
@lonesomeyn replied- 'forever and ever' KILL ME NOW
@ynscurtains replied- THEYRE SO NICE ABOUT EACH OTHER PLS LET THEM BE TOGETHERRRR
@ringsyn replied- I hope they stay friends 😭😭
~~~
*3 Years Later*
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y/n and when im back in chicago 🎶
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timmyyn remember when timmy and her would go to chicago like once a month 😭😭💔💔💔
vampireyn girl let it go
ynsheadphones UHHH TIMMY LIKED !?!?!?!?!!?????
coolyn BITCH I AM UPPP OMGGG
happilyyn do NOT get my hopes up omg
rachelzegler no invite ??
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@celebnews just tweeted- BREAKING ‼️ Timothée Chalamet and Y/n L/n were recently seen getting close with one another in Chicago. Apparently they were trying to remain unnoticed when someone asked for a photo.
@horroryn replied- GOD IS REALLLL
@chappellyn replied- THEY LOOK SO CUTEEEE MY LOWKEY PARENTSSS
@timmytimstan replied- bro I've been waiting for this news omg 😭😭
@rhodeyn replied- they're like justin and hailey 2.0 omgg
@laurieslaurence replied- the way they're literally matching. they used to coordinate their outfits alll the time and they're doing it again 😭😭🫶🫶🫶🫶💕
@cutesyn replied- THE WAY SHES SITTING ON HIS LAP OH MY GODDD IM SO SINGLE
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y/n me when
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ynslipgloss ARE THOSE NOT TIMOTHÉES FEET 😭😭😭
tchalamet I wish I could like this 200 times
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sabrinacarpenter pretty girl !!
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blankyn I bet timmy took these pics
ynsheadphones HIS COMMENT OH MY GODDD
florencepugh how are you so beautiful
y/n no way you're asking ME that 😭😭😭🫶
airyyn can yall just hard launch already 😩😭😭
y/n okay!
airyyn HELLO!??!!
slyyn WE'RE SO BACK
tchalamet just posted a story!
caption- falling... falling... fell
@celebnews just tweeted- Timothée Chalamet spoke about him and Y/n L/n for the first time in three years, in a recent interview. "I'll never forgive myself for being away from her for that long. She is the most exceptional, divine person I have ever known. Being without her, while I did learn and mature a lot, was torture."
@bookyn replied- how I like my men
@timmyandynstan replied- they had to be apart to come back together 😭😭😭💔💔
@halfbloodyn replied- i cant wait for all the content we'll get of them 😭😭🩷💕
liked by tchalamet, dylanminnette and 7,277,838 others
y/n please please please!!!!!
comments have been limited
tchalamet my beautiful girl
tchalamet who needs an oscar when i have you
sabrinacarpenter felt
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tchalamet Je t'aime de toute mon âme
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y/n how are you so perfect
liked by tchalamet
timmysgf ugh I thought we were free of her
huffleyn stfu 🖕 fuck off!!!
sabsyn DONT EMBARASS HER, MOTHERFUCKER
floralyn 😭😭😭💀
paulsdunes he didn't even embarass her the first time 🙄
sabsyn omg just play along, it's a song lyric
y/n my darling boy
tieyn remember when they broke up and she was saying how she thought she was done dating and now look 😭😭 back together FOR GOOD THIS TIME
wallowsyn MY PARENTS ARE BACKK
*
#timothee chalamet#timothee chalamet fanfiction#timothee chalamet imagine#timothee chalamet x reader#timothee imagine#timothee x reader#timothée chalamet#timothee chalamet au#timothee chalamet x you#timothée chalamet imagine#timothee fanfic#timothée chalamet social media au#timothée chalamet x reader#timothée x reader#timothée imagine#timothée chalamet smau
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Hii! Not sure if you are doing theres(if u dont just please ignore it) kind of requests, but if you do, may I pretty please with cherry on top get some headconons of yandere Mavuika with a darling on hunger strike? (basically darling refuses to eat unless freed)
Tsm 4 reading my request! And I am so sorry if you are not taking theres kind of requests, please just ignore this if thats the case!!
This is my first time getting this kind of request but I'll try 👆
Synopsis: you're not eating till you're free
TW: Darling will be the reader since I'm not too familiar with the concept (idk if darling is reader or not so yeah), gn!reader, coercion, manipulation, drug use, mentions of people supporting mavuika's actions, yandere Mavuika, reader is a traveller (but not the traveller), bad grammar, not proofread, bad writing, english is not my first language, I do not support any of the actions I've written, mentions of hurting reader, OOC, mentions of vomiting, short
Characters: Yandere!Mavuika x gn!reader
You missed the outside world.
The way Mondstadts air was like a calming breeze, the way Liyue had their stories, the way Inazuma was filled with the books from Yae publishing house, the way Sumeru was so casual, the way Fontaine's books were always entertaining to read.
You missed it all.
You had a plan to journey to find out about the entire world, the cultures of the different nations and their history. It was all so intriguing to you. However, out of all the regions, Nation was the most mysterious. None of the civilians from Natlan went outside their Nation, and it was all a mystery to you.
Now you knew that you should've stayed curious.
Natlan was filled with welcoming people, the culture and everything was all so unique to you. The tribal systems, the ancient names, they were all things you'd never heard of before. The fact that the Archon was human too really piqued your interest. It was much different than anything else you had ever seen before. You were drowning in these revelations, in a good way.
That's when you met the Archon.
She was welcoming, very much so. It was like you two bonded immediately. The two of you often got lost into speaking about many topics, her about Natlan and you about your journey. That often led to hours of talking, a company you enjoyed greatly.
It was then time for you to leave. Your family would start to worry about you leaving for too long anyway. But, Mavuika's words always made you stay for a bit longer, somehow.
"You still haven't learned about the specific cultures of each tribe, maybe we could talk about that. Writing letters is a hassle anyway. Just stay here for longer I promise."
So, one month turned to two, two into three and three into four. That's when you had the conscience to know that you were staying for too long. It was strange how your family wasn't giving any letters, but they must be worried either way.
The look Mavuika gave you when you told her this was nothing in the sort of pretty. However, she complied, and allowed you to leave Natlan. However, just as you were about to leave her office, you collapsed. You coughed up a bit of blood and you looked above you. Mavuika was peering down on you, her foot next to your head. Maybe that's why the smell in the room made you feel weird.
That's when you woke up in a bed, more luxurious than yours but horrifying nonetheless. You saw Mavuika entering the room, her expression unreadable. She offered you a hand, yet you slapped it away angrily. You were beyond angry, and also scared.
"Where am I Mavuika?! What did you do?!" Your eyes were starting to be filled up with tears, yet all she did was brush them away tenderly with her finger. The action felt disgusting, and you wanted nothing more than to escape. You spoke insult after insult to her, but she ended up carrying you, and as much as you wanted to just get out of her grasp, her scorching Pyro abilities on your back was enough to shut you up.
She took you to the stadium where multiple people were watching. You gulped at the sight, what was going on? Why did the people look so happy, weren't they going to help?!
She announced with joy that you were her "lover". You looked at her, horrified, trying to escspe from her grasp. The thought of it made you want to vomit, but the fact that so many people were cheering her on for getting a lover in the first place made it impossible for your screams of terror to be heard. You screeched, yelled and tried your very best but they were never heard.
You stayed for another month in Natlan, your face turning paper by the day.
Mavuika took you to the different tribes. She made you meet ancient name bearers, heroes of Natlan and such, but you want nothing to do with it. You just want to go home. You didn't want to know who were random people, you wanted to know how the hell you would get out of your situation.
Every feast, every gift, every compliment, they meant nothing. You vomited everything you ate, you threw away every gift you got and you (rudely) brushed off any compliment you could get. Mavuika gave you gifts too, but you always threw that away first.
Right now, you vomited up the food you ate again, feeling sick to your stomach. Coughing up saliva, you wiped it away with your sleeve.
"If she's going to play this game then so shall I," you muttered to yourself, determined . Really, your plan would only bring you so much pain, the pain of not eating, but you couldn't wait to see the look on her face when she sees your dead body. That salvation was the only thing you dreamed of. That's the day you put your plan into effect.
You ate nothing, you didn't want to, and for your best interest too. All the events that were celebrated were declined, and the maids that were supposed to take care of you got the same old excuse of: "I already ate," or, "I don't feel like eating." You were ecstatic, so glad everything was going the way you wanted. Sure, you were as skinny as a stick now, you were pale and all of your veins were showing, but hey, if she didn't do anything about it, it was fine. They way you would tremble, the way you constantly felt cold, the way you were like a twig ready to be blown away by the wind would all be worth it. Your inevitable death would be worth it, and you'd been dreaming of that outcome for a while by now.
"It would all be worth it."
As you pushed away the food you were offered again, you looked through your surroundings. You were bored. All the novels you'd gotten were all read through, and if it weren't for a certain Archon, you would've found your way to Snezhnaya by now.
That question answered itself quite easily.
Surprisingly enough you started to feel your eyes going shut. You mumbled incoherently, slowly falling asleep. Maybe you could pass the time by resting.
"Just a small nap.." You yawned, your mind going blank.
As you did so, Mavuika entered the room again, holding a bowl of gruel in her hands. She walked up to you and sat down at the ledge of the bed, slowly but surely feeding your unconscious figure. You would choke if she got any thing heavier, so this would have to do for now.
A few coughs went unnoticed as she finished your meal and slowly making you drink water, making sure you don't waste any drop. Your face was serene, she really hoped it would stay that way when you woke up.
"The inscence I got from Miss Emilie certainly worked well, I should thank her by letter sometime," she mumbled, looking at the hidden plate of the stuff in the corner. You were still fast asleep, oblivious to what she was doing.
"You won't be able to get rid of me so soon my dear," she talked to your sleeping self as she walked away. In response, you did a slight jerk in your sleep, almost as if you could hear what she said. But, if you knew or not didn't matter, you couldn't fight her anyway.
This is so trash but wtv
#reader insert#genshin impact#genshin x reader#yandere genshin impact#yandere genshin x reader#yandere mavuika x reader#mavuika x reader#mavuika#yandere#gender neutral reader
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SHIPPED -
[ot7 x reader]
TAEHYUNG -
tae: pop quiz should i kill myself?
y/n: please
tae: knew it
you fucking hate me and you ARE in love with that mingi guy
y/n: mingi
tae: it’s okay baby no need to apologise i know how crazy fans can get and i know you love me and me ONLY
not mingi
come here let’s cuddle (fuck)
y/n: k
tae: wait 😭😭😭
baby you forgot you apologise
y/n: for what
tae: mingi
they are shipping you with mingi
i can’t even say his name
y/n: you’ve said his name like four times already
tae: ok but i threw up every time
y/n: but you still said his name?
tae: what is your problem
y/n: i miss mingi i’m sorry
i get mad when i don’t see my man for a while
tae: aw babe 🥰
come over
y/n: did you even read what i said?
tae: i’m depressed
y/n: cool don’t care ur not mingi
tae: i could be
y/n: no you couldn’t
tae: ok but
y/n: but?
tae: nothing
y/n: that’s what i thought
loser
tae: don’t call me that
yk it gets me hot and bothered
y/n: are you horny or depressed
tae: don’t ask me stupid questions wtf
ofc i’m horny 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
do you want to fuck?
say yes
y/n: saying no
tae: ok wtf
you really are with mingi aren’t you
y/n: yeah
tae: babe
ur changing i can’t stand this my heart can’t take this damage and the way i feel can’t stand this mmmmm baby i don’t understand this
y/n: did you just sing xxxtentacion lyrics to me
tae: he gets me
y/n: ok
tae: you don’t get me
y/n: thank god
tae: ok now say omg tae ur the only one for me not that moji guy
y/n: moji?
tae: motor?
y/n: ?
tae: mistletoe????
y/n: what
tae: minion
y/n: mingi?
tae: mitochondria
y/n: mingi.
tae: microscope
y/n: it’s mingi
tae: no i think it’s misconstruction
y/n: what do you want from me rn
tae: tell miscarriage to fuck off
y/n: i literally met him once
tae: so???
he wants you
i know it
all the shippers know it
and all these STUPID edits know it
delete his number now
y/n: i don’t even have his number
tae: oh
ok then
y/n: yeah
tae: so like
y/n: don’t ask me anything stupid
tae: thoughts on iceland banning the colour green
y/n: you just made that up
why
ur so strange
tae: babe can i sing for you again
ik u love it when i sing
y/n: leave me alone tae
tae: do you let michael sing to you???
not jackson btw
cuz he’s like dead
y/n: would you like to join him
tae: mingloo or michael jackson???
pls be more specific babe
hey
where did you go
seen?????
ur leaving me on seen are you fr????
ok at least it’s not delivered
or a block like last time
ur real mean yk
at least i know my worlds are getting to you
now let me sing ok?
it might seem crazy what i am 'bout to say
sunshine she's here you can take a break
i'm a hot air balloon that could go to space
ok why did my messages go green
oh
i’m blocked
again
hahahahahaha
cheating fuck
FUCK YOU AND MINTY
SEOKJIN -
jin: the way i don’t even care
y/n: what
jin: i don’t care
y/n: idk this song i’m sorry
jin: i’m not singing
y/n: oh
jin: can he cook
y/n: who
jin: ur mc buddy
y/n: minghao?
jin: yeah
ur new boyfriend can he cook better than me?
no nvm
don’t tell me i don’t even care
not one bit not even two bits
y/n: okay?
jin: no it’s not ok
what about this is ok
OH WOW UR NEW BOYFRIEND IS 26 I DONT EVEN CARE
y/n: why are you shouting at me
jin: I DON’T CARE
LOOK AT ME DOES IT LOOK LIKE I EVEN CARE
y/n: lowkey
jin: he can’t cook
look at his fingers they look weak
a man with weak fingers can’t cook
y/n: ur so right
jin: yeah i know
so can he cook?
y/n: idk babe
jin: why don’t you know
y/n: because i don’t
jin: he’s your man says twitter
you should know these things
y/n: is this you jealous rn?
jin: i don’t even care what are you talking about
y/n: my fault i thought you cared for a second
jin: well i don’t
do you have his number
y/n: yeah
jin: don’t care
y/n: u sure?
jin: whatever man
he was weak fingers
he looks like he has a lisp does he have a lisp?
y/n: no??
jin: yes he does
stupid lispy bitch
y/n: SEOKJIN DONT BE MEAN
lisps are cute
jin: do you like his lisp?
bet you wanna kiss him every time he speaks
bet he’s all like “i theriously thlipping love thew” all in ur ear
and u blush so bad
y/n: LAMSOSOD WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
jin: i don’t care take ur 26 year old lisp bitch
y/n: all this because of a few stupid shippers?
jin: he looks at you a lot
and you look at him
A LOT
there are so many videos
you look at him like you wanna get him pregnant
y/n: what the fuck
jin: you should only look at me like that
y/n: i’m sorry????
jin: i don’t care for your sorry
or this situation
or that ur new man is 26
i don’t CARE
y/n: ok baby
jin: if i smoked i would light a cigarette rn
y/n: i believe you
jin: good
would be like a chain smoker rn
y/n: i believe you baby
jin: and i’m not talking about that little emo band thing or whatever
y/n: didn’t think you were
jin: me
cuz i’m i’m a chain smoker in spirit
y/n: !!!
jin: girlfriend
y/n: boyfriend
jin: ….
so like i’m gonna be honest
y/n: ok
jin: i do care
y/n: no way
jin: ik it’s hard to believe cuz i’m a good actor and all
y/n: naturally
jin: but wow why is he looking at you like he needs to be inside of you
y/n: ok ew?
jin: right i was thinking the same thing
y/n: why would you say that
jin: WHY WOULD HE LOOK AT YOU LIKE THAt?????????
y/n: let’s end this conversation
jin: let’s end his life
y/n: gn jin
jin: think about it
y/n: no
jin: when he looks at you do you feel uncomfortable
y/n: i’m uncomfortable rn
jin: OHMYGOD IS HE WITH YOU
IS HE LOOKING????
BABE TELL ME
y/n: no
jin: i’m literally a chain smoker
in spirit
cuz smoking ages you
look at jungkook 26 looking 206
y/n: goodnight jin
jin: so is ur new man with u or not??
y/n: no jin
goodnight
jin: good i didn’t even care anyways
YOONGI -
yoongi: fuck you
you know what you did
y/n: contrary to popular belief i am unfortunately not all knowing nor am i a mind reader
yoongi: kill yourself
y/n: full of love and joy today i see <3
yoongi: do you know
how may edits i’ve seen of that one clip of you and soobin
why is he smiling so hard at you???
tf is his issue
ur not fucking funny at all trust me i know
and you look really good
why are you looking good around other people???
and WHY did you touch him
and why the fuck did he blush so hard?
you need to kill yourself it’s the only option
y/n: strange way of telling me ur deeply in love with me but i’ll take it
yoongi: kill yourself
y/n: WAIT WDYM IM NOT FUNNY
yoongi: am i laughing rn?
y/n: okay that’s not how being funny works
it comes naturally
yoongi: naturally it doesn’t come to you and that’s fine
y/n: yes it does
soobin thinks i’m funny
and so does everyone else
yoongi: soobin doesn’t count cuz he’s a loser
he was also looking at ur tits the whole time i would be smiling if ur tits were in my face too
and everyone else? yeah shut up
ur not funny and that’s ok
y/n: HE WAS NOT
just ur a sick pervert doesn’t mean every man i come into contact is as well
soobin is a nice respectful young man
and are you trying to say my only personality trait is my tits????
that’s real fucked up actually!!!
yoongi: i mean it’s not ur humour thats for sure
y/n: and you think ur comedian of the year?
yoongi: i pull my weight
y/n: YOONGI
baby
babe
be fr
i’m the funny one in this relationship and that’s ok
your good at other things
yoongi: that’s crazy
we must be a really unfunny couple then yikes
y/n: what is ur beef?
yoongi: you and soobin
y/n: soobin is a baby to me
there is no me and soobin
yoongi: yeah ok
he’s 6 ft yk?
y/n: i know
stood next to him
yoongi: did you compare hand sizes
y/n: are you calling me a whore?
yoongi: is he funny?
y/n: yoongi
yoongi: is he funnier than me??
y/n: no yoongi
yoongi: wow that’s insane thought i wasn’t funny??????
soobin must have the personality of a fucking rock then
y/n: rolling my eyes real hard rn
yoongi: is he a good kisser?
y/n: ok now ur being ridiculous
yoongi: you touched his arm
y/n: he’s suit was fucked up
yoongi: have you imagined him in a wedding suit
y/n: what
yoongi: was his skin soft when you touched him
y/n: again he was wearing suit didn’t feel his skin at all
yoongi: bet you wanted to
y/n: ur impossible actually
incoming FaceTime call from yoongi :3
yoongi: answer me
y/n: are you going to apologise for telling me to kms
yoongi: no
want to see ur pretty face tho
answer pls
y/n: why would i answer after that
yoongi: pls
y/n: you want me so bad
yoongi: me or soobin?
y/n: …
yoongi: ok sorry
answer :3
JUNGKOOK -
jk: hey can wonbin do a kick flip?
y/n: idk probably
jk: wkjsjsjxjdjswiiwskdkekekdkwkke KSSKXKSKSKSKCKDMDKDJDJSKDKKKWOQWOSODKDKSKDKDJEKDKDKSKDDKDKDKKDKSKDKDKDKDKKCKMDKDCDKDKDKKDKDKFDKDKKDKDKDDKKDDKDKDKDKKDKDKDKDDJDKDKKDKDKDKDKSKDKDKDKDKDKKDKDKDDKKDDKDKDKFKDKDKDKAKS/@@:@;’ wmkdkdkdkdkd sskskdk kddkmdmdmdxm-@/29/929920//09/9/9:9
y/n: woah ok?
you don’t even skate why does this matter?
jk: exactly
y/n: i’m not following
jk: do you know his songs?
y/n: pulling back the sirennnnnnnnnnnn
jk:😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
y/n: ??
you literally asked me to? why are you crying
jk: do you have his number?
y/n: yeah
jk: /‘sjdjdjcjkdidfkckkdkfkdkdk&/&&/&/8/88/8/8/8/88/8818:’snn@2@:’dndn’dmn**$*****$\$$\$$€!!!!’annanjjjsnsnsndjxjxjjxjjxjzjj&/&:&:&/&7(7(7(7(&?&!@!@)&();6;6:5;7)&??,(:3-;:&)9!£0£@!&()::54:(,£,&?@£9£0&0£9£9£9)&(7;5:437)&££9&9)@(7(7(6(£?&!9&0@!’ b gxfxgxgstdgcnjhkbvkhnb hchdtsrdhchvkhopjpjojonobkvjbjvgihighij
y/n: jungkook…
jk: has he ever looked you in the eyes?
y/n: babe
jk: he has hasn’t he?
KILL ME NOWWWWWWWWEEWWWWWEJEJEJJEJEJWJWWWWENENEJEJEJNEJEJEENENNENNWJEJEJEJJEJWJEJEJEJEJEJEEJJWJWEJJEJWJWJWJWJEJEJEJENEJEJEJEJEJEJEJJEEJJEJEJJWJEJWJWJJWWJJWJWJWJWJWJWJWJWJWJWJJWJWNWNWNWNWWNWNWNWNWNWNWNENENNENENENENDNRNNRNDNNRNDNENENNENENENENENENENENNE
but can even sing?
y/n: yes kook
that is literally his job
jk: NOOSIEOSOSOOSOSOSOOOOO SNJSJSJDJDJSJSJDNMDNDMDNCMDMNDNDMDNDNDNDNDNDNNXJDJDN SNJSJSNDMDMDNDNDJDKXJDCJNXXNNCDNNXNXNX SJSJZKSJXNSJXJX JSJXMMXMX JXNXNDNNXNNDXNSNDN SJDJNDNXNXJXJX JSJXJXNXJCXJXJSISKS SJDJDJNDNDNDNDKNXXND NSJXJJDJXJDJD NJDJDJSJSJSJDJKDKDD DNDJKXKXKDXNXJX JSJDNDJDJSKISISOSKSKKS
there are so many tears in my eyes i can’t see
i cant think
i cant be
my left lung has given out and i’m losing hearing in both my ears
they are probably gonna have to amputate both my big toes and a couple fingers
it’s fading too black
baby
babe
pretty girl
can you hear me
do you care for me
did you ever care
did you even love me
y/n: jeon jungkook
jk: loml
y/n: get over it
jk: ok
y/n: ….
jk: i’m sorry
i love you
what even is a wonbin?
my biggest enemy in this life thats who
y/n: what happened to being sorry and over it?
jk: but babyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
everyone is saying he’s like in love with you
and he can do a kick flip
what if you pick him
y/n: i said he could probably do a kick flip
not that he actually can
why does that even matter?
jk: cuz kick flips are cool
and bitch takeable
y/n: what
jk: he might pop a kick flip out of nowhere and steal you
i cant have that
y/n: learn how to kick flip then idk?
jk: BUT YOU TOOK MY SKATEBOARD AWAY
y/n: oh yeah i did
didnt you almost brake ur face?????
AND you kept riding it in the house
pretty reasonable of me
jk: so what ur saying that ur waiting for wonbin to kick flip in front of you
y/n: ?????????
no
jungkook i am not leaving u for wonbin
jk: you say that but when he drops the most sexiest panty dropping kick flip known to man right in front of you i’m gonna be left single and depressed
y/n: you are stressing me out
jk: can i have the skateboard back
y/n: no
jk: 😞
Y/n: i said no jungkook
jk: 😕
y/n: stop
jk: ☹️
y/n: fine whatever idk break all ur bones
jk: kick flip kook coming soon >.<
JIMIN -
jimin: pretend i’m wonho for a second ok?
y/n: wonho?
jimin: yeah wonho
y/n: boob
jimin: hey lol ur really pretty 😍 😋❤️🔥 you should totally ditch that ugly lame excuse of a boyfriend you have (jimin) 🤢🤮 and come be my girl 💯🤗🥰❤️❤️❤️❤️
y/n: boob 🤤
jimin: be mine
y/n: show me ur tits
jimin: u fucking cheating bitch
y/n: wonho don’t be mean 😢
jimin: i am no longer wonho
i am jimin
y/n: lame
turn back
we want wonho
we want wonho
jimin: who is we
y/n: me and the voices in my head idk
jimin: even the voices not even fucking with me anymore???
ohmygod
the wonho shippers were right
y/n: what the shippers saying
jimin: “y/n just looks so bored with jimin” “did you see her smile when wonho was mentioned”
y/n: WAITTTT THEY SPITTING 🙏🏽🔥🔥🔥
jimin: do you know how insane that is
LIKE YOU LOOK BORED WITH ME
BABE LIKE THATS SO INSANE
y/n: ig u got to get ur funny up idk
jimin: do you understand how this is impacting my mental health
y/n: i like when their a bit insane dw 😍
jimin: i’m real fucking insane
i hear voices
constantly
they tell me to do things
i listen to jay park
you like that huh?
y/n: ok calm down i said a bit insane not jay park lover insane
wtf is wrong with you
jimin: are you bored
y/n: sorry what were you saying i almost felt asleep
jimin: i hope wonho treats you right
y/n: yk i’m tit level to wonho
isn’t that perfect
my face just all up in there
constantly
jimin: me and him are the same height?
y/n: ok but it’s more exciting with wonho
jimin: should i get a boob job???
y/n: please
jimin: WOW
the standards these days are insane
you were supposed to tell me my body is perfect the way it is
y/n: it is
jimin: wow ur so convincing!!!
y/n: i mean it fr fr babe love u body yk that
little tittes matter too
im for the cause!!!!!!!!!!
jimin: i came to you for love and reassurance
y/n: i think i provided
jimin: i’m gonna kill myself infront on wonho
so he’s traumatised
y/n: i did say i like them a bit insane
but whose to say he’ll go insane from watching YOU die????
jimin: excuse me?
y/n: i’m just saying
jimin: a lot of people would go insane from watching ME die
y/n: not wonho
jimin: you can never be too sure
y/n: no i’m sure
jimin: are you trying to find out rn???
y/n: do it
you won’t
jimin: do you love me be honest
y/n: the most
jimin: fucking simp lmao
NAMJOON -
y/n: HIIIIIII JOONIE 😝😍
namjoon: hi
y/n: ????????????????????????????????
?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
namjoon: ?
y/n: where is my “hi love”
where is the love
where is the life
not even a silly emoji???????????
who took my bitch
namjoon: death soon i hope
y/n: emo era joon omg?
namjoon: where are u rn?
y/n: some boba place with tae and kook
namjoon: oh
we’ve never gotten boba together
y/n: you don’t like boba joon??
namjoon: taste buds change??
y/n: we can go on a boba date tomorrow if you want?
namjoon: no
y/n: LAMOSOSK
ok babe
namjoon: yk people think ur fucking tae?
y/n: ew
namjoon: i’m not joking
like people think you’re cheating on me with tae
y/n: people always think i’m cheating
namjoon: yeah…
but like not with tae :/
and there isn’t always all these edits and stuff
people are even in our weverse talking about it
y/n: people are so silly
namjoon: yeah
…
why are you calling me?
y/n: why aren’t you answering?
namjoon: don’t want to interrupt ur date
y/n: my date???
namjoon: your date.
y/n: namjoon
namjoon: yeah
y/n: ur being silly
namjoon: in this clip ur looking at tae like he hung the all stars in the sky for you or something
y/n: get off twitter
namjoon: i’m gonna end my life
y/n: babe
namjoon: cheater 😔
y/n: jonnie r u jealous rn >.<
namjoon: i’m not jealous
y/n: what are you then?
namjoon: heartbroken?
sad
depressed
on the verge of suicide
y/n: tipsy?
namjoon: NO HAHA WHY WOULD YOU THINK THAT??????
y/n: yeah thought so
this is a little out of character of you babe
kinda jungkook core idk
namjoon: did you just compare me to jungkook???????????????????????
do you want me to kill myself that bad
oh my god
are you fucking jungkook too??????
y/n: ?????
namjoon: is boba code for sex
y/n: no namjoon
namjoon: yeah ok
cheater 😞
after i learned what rizz was for you..
y/n: i’m am not fucking tae or jungkook my love
namjoon: was my rizz not good enough
y/n: are you listening to me joonie????
namjoon: it wasn’t was it
ofc it wasn’t
i’m sorry i wasn’t good enough
sorry i didn’t have enough rizz
i’m really sorry
y/n: namjoon
namjoon: no you know what
i really tried it wasn’t my fault
no one deserves to be cheated on like this
it’s all your fault
y/n: oh
namjoon: i’m guilt tripping you
y/n: what
namjoon: are you coming home now?
y/n: ???
namjoon: baby
y/n: you can’t tell someone ur guilt tripping them
that’s not how it works
namjoon: baby i’m not guilt tripping you
y/n: it’s too late now
i know what ur doing
namjoon: baby
y/n: wait…..
namjoon: waiting
y/n: no
ur not
namjoon: baby what’s wrong???
y/n: baby?
don’t tell me ur horny rn joon
namjoon: would that be so bad baby?
y/n: these mood swings??? insane actually
thought i was a cheater
now you wanna fuck???
namjoon: life is crazy
are you coming home???
or would you rather fuck taehyung instead
my fault
i’ll just go…
y/n: ur toxic
namjoon: ur a cheater
come home cheater
y/n: yeah yeah give me 20
HOSEOK -
hobi: hawk putuh
ik ur awake
and i know you see these rumours
y/n: did you just fucking spit on me??
hobi: yeah and what
will do it again
hawk putuh
told you
i don’t lie in these parts of town
don’t enjoy it too much
flipping freak
y/n: what rumours
hobi: don’t ignore my second spit wtf
y/n: shut up
hobi: u trying to get drunk and nasty rn? 😝
y/n: ?no
hobi: no u right we supposed to be arguing
y/n: i’m always right
and why are we supposed to be arguing?
hobi: umm that’s NOT true
and people are literally shipping you with mingyu rn…
y/n: how is that my fault
hobi: WRONG ANSWER
hawk putuh
y/n: stop spitting on me
hobi: you like it
y/n: no i don’t
hobi: wow you’ve changed
you used to like it
did mingyu change you???
where is the y/n i know and love
where is my y/n who likes spit
you should never let a man change you
be who you are
and what who you are is my spit loving girlfriend so act like it
y/n: i have never let you spit on me
like ever
hobi: why is that ur focus rn
you should be denying the fact that you’ve changed for mingyu
y/n: i haven’t changed for mingyu and i don’t like spit leave me alone
it’s 2 am hoseok
hobi: why are they shipping you with him what the hell pretty 😞
i’m in my feels rn
feeling aju not fucking nice rn
y/n: cheer up
hobi: no
y/n: ok fuck you then
hobi: i bet mingyu is giggling and blushing and at all of these stupid edits
UGH
by bts
i’m sick to my stomach
y/n: get better
hobi: word on the street is head makes the pain go away
y/n: on the street by jhope ft jcole
hobi: would you give head to mingyu be honest
y/n: you don’t want my honesty right now…
hobi: i do
y/n: let’s just say
hobi: NVM
nvm
let’s not say anything
how about we just hold hands at look each other deeply in the eyes
y/n: i’m cool with that
hobi: are you cool with mingyu
y/n: cool with you by newjeans
hobi: me?
little old me >.<
y/n: always you
hobi: lol stop loveboming me wtf
y/n: yeah kys
about to give mingyu the sloppiest top known to man
hobi: mingyu doesn’t even like girls like you
y/n: girls like me???
hobi: yeah
i don’t need to explain i think you get it
y/n: are you calling me ugly rn…
hobi: you said it not me
y/n: ok
hobi: ok
y/n: hawk putuh
hobi: you didn’t….
y/n: i did
hobi: what fuck
y/n: yeah and what
hobi: what if i said
y/n: no
hobi: yeah
i enjoyed it real bad
do it again
let me catch it this time
😋
y/n: fuck off fuck you leave me alone
hobi: mingyu would never treat you like i do
y/n: i’m sold
tell mingyu i’m on my way
hobi: …
—
tags: @piw6n @92jinnies @birdie-vhs @kooksmilitarywife @hob3loveofmylife @jujubiism @bloopkook @ratchetpizza1 @myntalks @arloo00 @watamotee33 @y2kcy3brz @taiwan0618 @freyadanvers @gguksbeloved @raetf @bbsantc @winuvs @medicinemybish @bxnnyhime @leleluvsbts @baetukki @zyaaaszn @thelilbutifulthings @jazminethecreator @k4ngelz @jmnscutie @sopebubbles-replies
lowkey hating joons and kooks but it’s okay better shit to come this just my warm up ong 🙏🏽💯🔥
#bts crack#bts fanfic#bts fluff#bts imagines#bts fic#bts text#bts × reader#bts x y/n#bts x you#namjoon × reader#jin × reader#yoongi × reader#hoseok × reader#jimin × reader#taehyung × reader#jungkook × reader#bts texts#rm x reader#suga x reader#v × reader#ihope × reader#hobi x reader#bts fake chats#bts incorrect texts
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As a lesbian to a lesbian. Do you ever feel like youre missing a MAJOR point of the iwtv characters? Dont get me wrong im DEF obsessed with them and love them dearly. But the other day i saw a picture pf sam reid with short hair and was like “ah!! Scary!! What did they do to my boy!! I cant look at him like That” and then. I realized that hes actually probably very conveniently attractive like that?? AND AND AND like when everyone is just obsessed with these characters im like “oh hell yeah theyre pretty!! What interesting character design i cant look away! Wait wdym you wanna WHAT TO THAT MAN” like i just FORGET so often and i think my experience is fundamentally different from some peoples lmao
In the nicest way possible dear anon - can't relate to this at all! I am another person whose experience is fundamentally different to yours, even though we are both lesbians 😂 Life's a rich tapestry and all that.
For me, when I am engaging with fiction - whether it's a TV show or novel or anything - a HUGE part of the joy is fully leaving behind my own mind and identity and experience of the world. Simply put, there is no 'I' for me when I am watching IWTV or thinking about it or engaging with the fandom. It's completely disconnected from me as a human being and my experiences in the real world and the real life relationships I choose to seek out. Which is great! Because I love getting a break from those things and plunging head-first into something different and moving and narratively compelling.
So no, I don't really feel like I'm missing anything at all!
I would in fact easily and gleefully categorize myself as one of the 'everyone' who is 'just obsessed with these characters'! And I don't see that as incompatible with being a lesbian at all!
I LOVE when my mutuals, however they identify, tag gifsets/pics/whatever of IWTV men with things so filthy they could strip paint from a wall. I love that tumblr is a place where people can gleefully share their unhinged horny thoughts about fictional dudes and it makes me so happy seeing people expressing themselves in that way. There is no 'what do you mean' for me! I'm over here like, "yeah? tell me more! 😏"
The idea that any of this would be unavailable to me because I am a lesbian is very strange to me, and honestly a little sad. It seems limiting to me. It's one thing to just not enjoy / connect with something, but... idk. 🤷♀️
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was thinking about this since there's the action duel event in duel links, what's your opinion on the action duels in the actual arc-v anime?
OH THIS IS A GREAT QUESTION i looove action duels. i love a funny Spinoff Series Duel Gimmick, i think theyre so SO fun. but also like everything else in arc-v action duels are....hm. it's very 'the concept here kicks ass but the actual execution in show is DETERMINED to throw itself off a cliff" LMAO
LIKE THEYRE SO COOL ON PAPER. AND FOR LIKE ALL OF SEASON 1. youve got this natural progression of Solid Vision where the sets and the monsters have physical mass to them and are also kind of alive but dont worry about it, you can climb around on shit and RIDE YOUR MONSTERS!!! and duck and weave and explore and it's so fuckin cool, it's got such a crazy kinetic energy to it that just entrances me. I didn't realize until literally like a couple days ago that the Japanese game show influence is HUGE wrt the way duelists navigate Action Fields and scramble to grab Action Cards and such and it's such a such a fun vibe to bring to the ever-evolving depiction of this insane card game. It's like if a yugioh duel was also Wipeout but was also an old Nickelodeon kids' game show but was also the battle at the beginning of a pkmn movie but was also an old crash bandicoot game. fucking obsessed with them
And the Action Fields in season 1, these critical Duel Settings, are also just especially so cool, and it's frustrating that after that point we kind of just Dont Get Action Fields until literally the last few duels in the series. 'Crossover' is barely an Action Field let's be so real. It turns the immediate area into a platforming minigame but it is not nearly on the level of MASS SWORD GRAVE DUEL FIELD or TURN PARADISE CITY INTO ZOOTOPIA DUEL FIELDS.
and i think that's kind of just another unfortunate element of how much the wheels on arc-v's quality/storytelling start falling off by mid season 2 and 3. it's like seeing budget cuts in real time. we can't do Cool Volcano Field anymore. get on the Bland Floating Platforms.
at least we'll always have yuya's hippo showgirls
but anyway. i think the one (1) big issue Action Duels have, and the one thing about them that has me a bit Agonized watching action duels is the GODDAMN ACTION CARDS. FOR SOME REASON THE WAY DUEL LINKS IMPLEMENTED THEM IS LIKE LEAPS AND BOUNDS BETTER THAN IT IS IN THE SHOW. Like the way in DL you have to carefully pick out your 3 Action cards, they have to fit the 10 point quota the game gives you, they need to work With your deck and not Critically Carry Your Deck and Your Ass, I wish all of that was how they were in the anime!! Would make things more interesting!!
Cuz like in the show it's more 'ok random burst of Action Cards is scattered on the field' which could be cool but then the writing doesn't do anything remotely unique with them 90% of the time. They're like the Plot Crutch of all time in-show. It really just has this vibe of "it doesnt matter if your dueling sucks if you just grab the asspull action card that's in every single action duel that just Makes Your Opponents' Attack Miss" and thats just what Yuya does for like. every action duel he's in. other people have talked more eloquently about it but you really kind of realize just how BAD Yuya is at dueling when you sit and look at duels he won because he pulled the Convenient Ass-Saving Action Spell at the last minute and not because of anything he did with his dueling ability. And I do love me some Yugioh Plot Ass Pulls but here it just never feels earned... just like a bunch of other shit in arc-v HJDFGSDF. it just feels like the writers backing themselves into a corner and popping an Evasion Ex Machina. I Am So Goddamn Tired of Seeing Evasion. Miracle is Also On Thin Ice
THERE JUST HAD TO HAVE BEEN BETTER WAYS THEY COULD HAVE IMPLEMENTED THIS FEATURE. like idk make action cards more like speed spells in 5ds where theyre already IN your deck. or. or. oh the world if action cards in the show were more like a Chopped Basket where you get a set random selection of them predetermined before the duel and then characters have to really figure out how to use them creatively to help bolster their deck. life could be a dream
tl;dr I LIKE ACTION DUELS A LOT AND I THINK THEYRE SOME OF THE MOST FUN 'GIMMICK' YUGIOH DUELS. BUT WHY DID THEY MAKE ACTION CARDS LIKE THAT wish they were used in a more interesting way!! wish we got to see more insane duel fields past season one!! really curious to see how theyre handled in the arc-v manga. yugo stuck in the volcano field to look at if you dont like my posts
#yugioh arc v#asks#ygo posting#maribel-bat#LONG POST. SORRY. ENDED UP HAVING A LOT TO SAY HDFGHFDGD#tldr tldr: action duels are such a tasty idea and in practice theyre so fucking half baked but thats the real arc-v game babeyy
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this is a little silly and i'm totally aware, but i luv ur blog and resonate with ur outlook on things so i'm really curious 2 hve ur input. i turned 18 in december+ i graduated high scool this weekend and so it's like the first time in my life where i am independently adjusting to a big transition. i missed soo much classes due 2 my brain being fucked and even tho i had friends i still feel rly weird and outsidery i guess. if u have any advice or idk anything i'm running out of space bye xx
thats wonderful news...congrats on gradding its really hard to get thru it 💟 i almost didnt grad cus i was barely present at school, resented every facet of it, the system didnt make sense to me like i just couldnt perform. i dint go to college or anything after highschool i knew it wasnt right for me plus i didnt want the debt. i knew i needed freedom to roam or st..
and tbh i was suuuuch a smart & intuitive child for that decision o.o like thank god thank goddd. i wouldve folded SO fast with state of my mental health back then. unless u r going into STEM idt school is worth it. Like school nevr made sense to me cus u can just be intellectual for free by acting curiously ?? Like u can just live and read books and stuff . . .
i guess my only real goal has ever been to make a lot of DOPE ass memories ~~ push every experience to full potential of beauty it is capable of 🤩 and that is a tad willful of me, so my arrogance has lead to many defeats but despite how painful its beeen.. im glad i did it this way, no ragrets ^^ its wonderful to be 30 now & look back at it all. following my intuition always worked out in the end..
When you're 18-24 i think all u should really be doing is like. chilling, recovering from highschool, smoking cigs, taking photos, listening to songs, reading, trying different clothes, playing outside, Soaking eveything up like a sponge, taking it *in*...taking it all in then thru trial & error figuring out what Really resonates !! and PPL will try to tell u its a waste of time, dont listen!!!! create stuff but dont put pressure on urself to be good at anything yet. dont feel pressure to like, have solidified into something permanent yet? ifthatmakes sense.. goof around a lot, dont limit yourself to any existing structures, be new & expansive, open minded.
And just chill :] look around at your world all the time and think "Wow. I'm 18 and i'll never be 18 again and life is beautiful." i still do this for every age i ever am i think its so imporant to do this. Always Know your older self is looking back upon you kindly no matter how irredeemably fucking fucked u feel <3 i can feel the love from my 40 and 50 and 60 year old self right now. get excited for your unfolding story anon ^-^ i hope its really uniquely perfect just for U and Ur dreams come true. Sincerely, ⭐⭐⭐PMD9⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
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i understand its all joaks and its lighthearted out of love for this character but it is a little sad to see things like laios being a minimum wage worker and having no friends being described as him being a loser when theyre extremely common autistic experiences 💔 because to be honest i think youre really cool and a great writer and i would like to interact more but it makes me go, is that what you would think of me? my life situation’s not too different from that. anyways i hope you have a nice day <3
no not at all I genuinely like being mean to Laios so take everything I say about him with the world's biggest effing grain of salt because I am just. mean to him in particular lol. i like to kick him when he's down. (evil and mean but to blonde men in particular)
but like. i am not cool at all. like...........ill put it under the cut but yeah.
real shit under the cut bc this ask is making me think! im gonna be real w u nonnie
tl:dr if u dont wanna see whats under the cut:
this ask kinda makes me think bc. i think im really mean to laios too bc he reminds me of myself beforehand (zero self confidence and suicidal idealization) sigh and I really hate being reminded of that. so. again. im really biased when it comes to him specifically and that doesn't apply to you or any of my followers.
and for what its worth i am sorry for making you feel that way.
but also. i gotta say I can 100% relate to him and you. this time last year I was working at Starbucks ( i could only tolerate 4 hour shifts bc i would get overstimulated and my coworkers lowkey hated me.) and had like. 1 friend from high school and the years before that I spent turbo online being constantly pushed out of friend groups bc i could NEVER get anything right socially. I swear the first 23 years of my life I never lived. i went thru hs and college as a fucking. like. creature I felt like i couldnt connect w anyone because I was too tormented by adhd + autism and i was INSANELY depressed and coping w lack of control by having an eating disorder and being doped the fuck up on stimulants. (MY PCP gave me 56 mg of concerta and 5mg booster of adderall i was fucking tweaking on the daily </3)
but like. i started going to therapy and a psychiatrist who made me quit cold turkey for my own good and we started treating my depression and debilitating anxiety (i was convinced a stranger was living in my house in secret but also that everyone in public who saw me was revolted by me and genuinely wanted me to kill myself jkdhsfskdjh i told you i was tweaking)
anyways. i was a druggie with no goal in life and living in my own head and now like. i can look at myself in the mirror and not think "hey. this fat ugly piece of shit should genuinely die" and now people in real life LIKE me. I have friends. multiple friend groups, actually. WITH NOT JUST ND PEOPLE. LIKE, A LOT OF THEM ARE NEUROTYPICAL. And i am very open about being autistic with them and i dont have to mask.
and they still like me! and invite me places! and genuinely want to hang out with me! and they think im smart and get uncomfortable when I say im stupid or too autistic to like. be able to be in public.
it still feels like a dream and in my mind im like "they actually are gonna drop you and make fun of you for thinking they were ever your friends" or like "theyre just doing this bc of the stupid buddy system shit or they think you're a pet this is highschool all over again"
but even tho im haunted by this. its....I can say with confidence its not true.
anyways. i know people say this shit all the time but I will say you are very capable of love and not a loser or anything like that. the thing you're missing out on is the right people. i didnt believe this for most of my life and tried to get myself killed because of it but im glad I didn't because it is genuinely true.
i have spent the last <1 year of my life genuinely being alive. and i wouldn't trade it for anything. idk if thats a sign for anyone yeah. take it
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Over a third of the way through The Whispering Skull heres my current thoughts
- If I were Lockwood and Lucy I would be a little bit mad about George missing the whole "area theyre searching was an execution ground for criminals" thing but also I feel like it's the first clear sign we get that something is off with George. Like hes burnt out. Hes tired. Hes just a teenager. They all are and theyre working adult jobs and literally dont have the capacity or past experience to communicate with one another. Very realistic for teenagers.
- I love Kipps so much I love how full of himself he is I love how pathetic he comes across even when he gets the upper hand I cannot wait to see him and his team get cut down to size.
- That being said I would have thrown down then and there had I been struck with a Mag Flare like that. better ways to go about ghosts, its dangerous as shit, badly damaged L&C's clothes and perfectly shows that the Fitts agency arent really trained in a people-first way. The way they put pressure on their teams to secure a source above all and encourage hostility towards other agents.... Super telling about management and an early warning sign to me. Esp with what we know happens to Ned Shaw (which i'll have a lot to say about later when it happens) and Kat, Bobby and Kipps v trauma.
- I liked Joplin a lot when I read the books as a kid + my reread 2 years back but now... idk. Too reckless, esp with how he treats ghosts when in the company of teenagers and children. Hate how comfortable all the adults in this world are about putting children at risk. They really treat them as a resource or rather than anything else.
- The skull is such a fucking shit stirrer which again makes so much damn sense when you learn hes a teenager whose been stuck with no one to talk to in a jar for like a hundred+ years. Of course you're trying to push apart Lockwood and Lucy. You are a fucked up ex-cultist teenage boy who finally found someone to talk to and are perpetually stuck in your teenage brain and hormones. You are So Jealous.
- Lucy, George and Lockwoods argument about the Georges recklessness and then The Skull seeding distrust again drives home my point about communication but also Christ these kids need more friends. Their entire childhood and teen years are stripped from them. They have no family to talk to or guide them. No non-work friends their age to vent to. Immense trauma and no one to help them through it.
- Jonathan Stroud give me a follow up series following the team in their mid twenties coping with having their lives dedicated to a job they literally cannot do anymore and the repercussions of no education and no safety nets for agents once they reach adulthood. What do they do? Where do they work? Where do they go? How do they afford to live? What happens to agents who only built relationships with coworkers they cant even face because of trauma? Agents disconnected with their families? Nightwatch kids whose education was ruined because their days were spent recovering from their shifts? I need to know.
- Okay back to the book the ghost cult stuff hits so much harder in a post-covid world. I was there getting harassed by anti vaxxers when they invaded parliament for a month and it ended in violence. of course in times of fear people become vulnerable to misinformation. You Are Not Immune To Cults. Or Propaganda. Again, spin-off following the people who try to fight those who profit off of peoples fear and build wealth and followings off of it. Theres so much interesting stuff in this world I want to explore.
- Kipps and Lockwoods teams having to work together bcos of Barnes is so good. I love Kipps team so much I love seeing them
- Kat Godwin is autistic and I know this. Because I am Autistic. Also she comes off as someone who has shut down to everything around her because, again. trauma of her work. at 16 theres no way she hasnt been through something similar to Lucy or Lockwood. I'm sad we see less of her after book three. same with Bobby.
- Now I want to write a hyper empathetic autistic lucy/low empathy autistic kat fic where they both realize they have a lot in common with their Talents and work and bond it doesnt even have to be romantic i just want to see more of Kat
- A LSO i need lucy to have more female friends for the love of god i understand this is your pick me phase of your teens but it makes me so sad to see your internalized misogyny even though it ABSOLUTELY makes sense for her character and is so common for teen girls like her but the way she talks about sensitives and every other female operative she meets. girl. who are you trying to impress rn. you dont need to.
- Ned Shaw getting the shit kicked out of him by Lockwood DESERVED.
- I love this little nightwatch boy who helps the team with all my heart. what is his name. my son. hes such a little cunt.
- FLO TIME FLO TIME i am so excited to see Flo you people DO NOT UNDERSTAND shes so fucking cool mudlarkers are so fucking cool fuck you if you hate flo this is a flo bones appreciation zone
- obligatory "i miss holly" comment even though. she hasnt been introduced yet and wont be until the next book. i love gay people okay.
- Anyway I'm enjoying this a lot I said TWS isnt my fav book (mostly the stuff later on in the book isn't as compelling to me) but this stuff at the start rules. I didn't expect to write so much. Im having so much fun.
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Jalim DBH AU
Jason, a battle bot who's become just a little too conscious about what he's been told do - the woman with the groceries - he doesn't shoot - they flag him down as possibly faulty and then after that they're just looking for any reason to shoot Jason down into a junkyard. Maybe they send him on an op, practically a suicide run for anyone else and damnit its suicide for him too even if he don't completely realize it.
He gets damaged. Not no easy fix, not no little scratch he's - well fuck, he's busted. Some part of him in a near constant short circuit. Fried. It makes him forgetful of what he's done and why he's done it. They don't attenpt to fix him or his memory problem, they dont even wipe it out, they ain't got to. He won't be their problem much longer. They pop his back plate open and slip out his power core. They didn't even have the decency to tell him.
Jason gets discharged. Retired. However they wanna spin it but all the same they boot him to the curb.
They sell him as is. Auctioning him off and if Jason could understand what the hell he was feeling maybe he'd call it relief. Or maybe its betrayal. He doesn't really know yet.
Anyhow, he ends up on Salim's slab. Salim is a tinkerer of sorts, does repairs for a living and Jason seems intriguing. Military models are never really available for the public market and most are just destroyed or are too damaged to take on. Some wealthy folk like to keep fixed up ones as body guards and with any luck the model Salim's just bought will be a bang for his buck.
yada yada yada, that doesnt really happen. The second Jason comes online again with the help of a new power core its like waking from a nightmare and if he were anything alive his hackles would raise, sweat sticking his hair to his forehead and his breath would leave his chest heaving. But he isn't. All the same fight or flight gets activated. He's practically snarling like a wild dog, he's in a unfamiliar layout in a new place with what ought to be a graveyard of android parts.
and Salim really does his best to help - to explain. Which maybe this is weirder on his end cause 'good god this android is actually reacting and oh god am I going to die here? stupid auction'. it's kinda funny from an outside view and also kinda not.
Jason calms down enough and then boom 'nother short circuit. It makes him draw a blank. Forgets what happened in the past 5 to 15 minutes. Salim really didn't anticipate this. How could he? They go through the motions again, introductions, some part of Jason has realized that Salim isn't a threat, so at least this time they're meetings not as hostile.
Salim wants to understand Jason - he's some type of conscious and he's got his issues. they end up as some sorta flatmates. idk maybe we get a whole domestic Jason w memory issues arc. its kinda cute, really sad sometimes because he doesnt understand whats happening to him or why. Just that the very reason for his lifes purpose ain't in his grasp no more. He feels kind of pathetic somedays, becomes more of a homemaker than a soldier. Salim says it isn't bad. it's- it's not.
Maybe he picks up hobbies, starts reading, learning of the world he's missed out on. How the moral ideals of the masses clash with the values that were instilled in him. fucking cable TV. its kinda funny, kinda not.
Salim fixes him up. The memories come back in nightmares while he's booted down. Memory files drawn to the front of his mind all corrupted. It takes a long while for Jason to be alright. Salim worrys, notices him - of all things - stress baking. Jason talks about Nana Kolchek and her recipies and they both know she don't really exist. That it's part of the program they built into Jason to help him seem more human, more relatable to other soldiers. They don't talk about that aspect of it.
At some point Jason realizes Salim is going to sell him. Or at least intended to when he was bought at the auction. It hits him like a humvee going 80. Has a whole "was any of it ever real?" moment.
Jason has a little crisis and still somehow can't really unconvince himself that it won't happen. So he rips the bandaid off and flat out asks. Salim looks at him with that kind of expression people save for kicked puppies and the like. Some type of emotion in his eyes that Jason just doesn't know how to understand. It's too much. Jason looks away with a frown.
Salim pulls his hand into Jason's and squeezes once, cold metal against warm skin. Salim isn't selling Jason.
Heart to Heart.
Eventually Jason meets Zain. Zain looks at him quizzically, like he's just tryna wrap his head around something and he just dont quite get it. Zain says that his dad talks about him a lot, that he seems happier, less lonely, gives Jason the shovel talk. The works. Which Jason thinks is bizzare because he isn't even romantically involved with Salim.
and then he thinks,
thinks on it real hard and
oh,
oh.
He might be.
Right then and there, it dawns on Jason that, yes, they've been practically dating for a long while now. He cooks, cleans, asks Salim about his day, nags when he leaves his shoes crowded and piled in the door way, notes his likes and dislikes, holds him when he needs it, takes care of him and vice versa, they hook their legs together underneath the dinner table, they even do that looking into eachothers eyes lovingly thing and he just didn't realize thats what it was.
Zain is delighted with Jason's new found revelation. He helps Jason get flowers and chocolates, even gets a little card, it's real cute.
And Jason for as much as you'd think him as level headed really isn't too good at keeping a cool on it. He's flustered. Hands over the sweets, flowers and card like a kid with his first crush and shit, yeah, in a way yes, thats exactly what this is. a little bit. its kinda funny. kinda. There's even music on in the background because Jason just doesn't know how to miss.
They kiss. Salim tastes like chocolate.
#house of ashes#jason kolchek#jalim#salim othman#the DBH AU literally no one asked for#zain othman#Zain Othman ily ur so slay for getting ur dad game#wing man shit#dont look at the typos or ur homophobic#tell me what song u think is playing in the bg near the end im curious n think theyre awful cute#mines was (youre mine and) we belong together by Jimmy Velvet
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spn s7 spoilers
s7 ep1(meet the new boss)
the cas we know is gone. dean,sam and bobby are accepting cas is god so easily. i thought they wouldn't call him god that easy. i love death. but really, dean gave up on cas so quickly. cas is back. and he is gone, again. he'll be back.
s7 ep2(hello, cruel world)
lucifer… i love winchester's relationship. i loved bobby's house now, everything is gone. bobby isn't gone he cant be.
s7 ep3(the girl next door)
i love sam. how could dean do that? why did he do that? is he real dean? i cant believe this.
s7 ep4(defending your life)
good guys always feel guilty. even if its not their fault. even if they know its not their fault. i was mad about dean killing amy. but then i thought about it. i thought they didnt kill lenore but then i remembered she didnt kill anyone when they let go of her. amy and lenore are not the same. and in the end dean was right imo. because amy killed for her kid and if her son gets sick she would kill again.
s7 ep5(shut up, dr. phil)
I thought the Amy topic was closed. I was wrong. we'll see later how it ends, i guess.
s7 ep6(slash fiction)
dean always deserves good things in his life, so does sam. finally sam learned about amy. he'll forgive dean, probably.
s7 ep7(the mentalists)
sammy ad dean back together again. i love them.
s7 ep8(season seven, time for a wedding!)
ep name is weird. this should be fun. i love the temp. idk but i kinda like crowley when he is not messing with the boys.
s7 ep9(how to win friends and influence monsters)
i dotcare thati dont care. ilove that scene. bobby cant die like that.
s7 ep10(death's door)
he can't die. it was nice to see rufus. i knew bobby would die. i saw spoilers before but i didnt think he would die this season. he cant die. he left the winchesters. goodbye bobby. winchesters are alone, again. i want to think bobby will return but i dont think he will.
s7 ep11(adventures in babysitting)
i like krissy. i love dean with kid. he is so sweet.
s7 ep12(time after time after time)
dean knows his brother so well.
s7 ep13(the slice girls)
emma is dean's child? Sam and Dean shouldn't have split up. emma and amy werent the same. amy killed, emma didnt. she was goin o kill dean i know but i just wanted to say there is difference. and i think there are 2 kinds of moster to dean: those who kill people and those who didn't kill people, yet. and dean thinks tho who didnt kill could be saved. and i think he is right.
s7 ep14(plucky pennywhistle's magical menagerie)
bad cop sam. he is funny. clowns were scary. supernatural gives me new fears. i miss cas when is he coming back?
s7 ep15(repo man)
jeffrey is a good guy. i liked him. lucifer is funny. and jeffrey is a psychopath.
s7 ep16(out with the old)
i liked frank but i really miss bobby. I don't understand how Dean finds time to watch so many movies. i knew frank would die. but know thinking about it i think he is not dead, yet. ıf he was dead there would be a body.
s7 ep17(the born-again identity)
i want to see cas and crowley. i miss them. did bobby refuse to go? and now he is going with winchesters everywhere and helping them? because that notebook cannot have fallen by itself. It hurts me that Cas was the one who did this to Sam. Sam has been through a lot. I hope he can get over this soon. cas!!! i wanna cry(well im crying little bit). cas is back? he is emanuel, what? he is cas. meg?! sam is still helping people. i love him. cas is back. he saved sam:) but now he is left behind, with meg! i hope dean knows where meg is and she wont do anything bad for winchesters and cas.
s7 ep18(party on, garth)
okay dean knows about meg. garth is funny. i missed impala. bobby is here!!! i want to see him more. but why couldn't he contact them? i hope we can learn it.
s7 ep19(of grave importance)
bobby finally talked. i love him. what he did was kinda wrong. but without him boys would be dead so many times. i hope things wont end bad for bobby but i doubt it. but i am glad to see him anyways.
s7 ep20(the girl with the dungeons and dragons tattoo)
i know new characters will come to spn and i am so excited to meet them. i saw them on the internet and i cant wait to see their relationship with the boys. and Charlie is one of them. and i am happy she came. i like her. bobby will do something bad isnt he? she is a nerd:) . well, is Charlie coming back?
s7 ep21(reading is fundamental)
hi cas(and meg). no way home😅(iloveyouguys). i really missed cas. he is even funnier now. he is happier. cas would do anything for the winchesters. i hate leviathans. i hope we'll see cas and meg again.
s7 ep22(there will be blood)
i wanted to see crowley. bobby is not truly gone, not now at least. this wont end good for bobby. there is 8 seasons left i am happy i get to spend so many time with my favorite characters.
s7 ep23(survival of the fittest)
goodbye bobby. baby is back!!! i knew dean wouldnt hurt baby like that. i'm glad dean forgive cas. i love their friendship. purgatory, seriously?! crowley does whatever he wants whenever he wants. and he got meg and the world. and sam is alone. Cas left Dean. of course, he'll get back(i'm 99% sure). i cant wait to see how they will survive this?
#supernatural#dean winchester#sam winchester#bobby singer#castiel#crowley#meg#lucifer morningstar#leviathan
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Ode to Togashi
Stream of conscientious incoherent rant about manga/hxh below, read at your own discretion as i AM NOT EDITING IT:
While I’m still in the mood to talk about art and what i love about manga, i feel like i wanted to share (some) of my thoughts on why HXH continues to be one of my favorite stories. Togashi’s writing method continues to be probably like, the closest one that i aspire to replicate in my own work, partly because i love to see how much it builds and learns from itself, reinvents itself, ect. But i DONT think Hxh is perfect, even if i wouldn’t change anything about it or togashi’s writing style.
When I first got into HXH, it was actually through the old anime. I watched that all the way thru before reading the manga, and when i was watching the anime it was during a period of time when i hated all shonen. I still kinda hate “the shonen” model, despite loving many shonen series, but something abt HXH pulled me in to give it a try and i was quickly hooked. I of course, already had experience with YYH growing up as a teen but i somehow missed HXH completely until my early 20s. I had already started trying comics by then, but it was EGGSHELLS and i had not started FFAK at that point.
HXH almost lost me at greed island my first round, ngl. I appreciate it now, andi still think the set up for Greed island was amazing but the arc itself.. I was not into it, mostly cause i think the villain for it was kinda lackluster and i didn’t really think the world of greed island had a strong design sense. There was interesting aspects, i enjoyed Bisque as a new character and she helped carry a LOT of the weight of that arc for me, but it was kind of a drag. IDK if it was also partly the adaptation for that arc, but i didn’t enjoy it much more in manga form either. It just went a bit faster. However, the end of that arc and the final fight was surprisingly brutal and enjoyable, which made me optimistic and helped me to continue. And then the chimera ant arc was the first arc i read ONLY manga first and i truly fell in love with it, obsessed even. That arc, as many readers already know, is probably like the closest thing to FFAK’s “Parent” for inspiration. Obviously, FFAK draws from a lot of things (Trigun is probably the 2nd strongest influence on FFAK) but it isn’t quite the same as HXH. As MUCH as i adore hunter x hunter part of me does cringe and laugh that like, in the end, a battle shonen manga still excited me that much but like.. As MUCH as i clearly love battle manga.. I am so over them. You know? Who cares. IMO. No matter how great it looks, i probably am never going to be more impressed (visually) with an action scene than the ones Yukito Kishiro drew. He did it, He won the action manga game to me. I have no idea what’s actually happening in Gunnm most of the time but as far as the visual spectacle of it all, it literally doesn't even make sense how good his action scenes look. (I could talk a lot about Gunnm too, but i’ll save that for another time IG) Like how the fuck does someone draw that good and it just made everything else by comparison just like, not.. Matter too much to me anymore. Which is great, because I can then look at other aspects for a work rather than just being drawn in by the visuals. And stuff.
Where i’m at now.. I dont want to read another, even if its drawn well and .. the powers are SO powering or whatever. And i love to draw action scenes, they’re really hard and i still have so much more to go to learn about them. At best, I think im okay at them. But even when i work, i just get tired now so i cut them down a lot. Thats partly because i jsut dont have the time to draw fighting scenes. So i kind of feel embarrassed by a lot of them that ive made, i know I was lazy. Lazy in a way I’m not proud of the result, but im proud of the compromises to get the shit done. Which is the most important think in the end, to juggle your own expectations and limitations with the timeframe you have to get somewhere you need to go. I will still read more action/battle manga in the future.. But im in no rush. And im certain, for the most part, they arent going to teach me anything I don’t already know. They might entertain me and i might be like “..huh!” at a few things, but my expectation for them to do more than that is pretty low. I’m delighted when im wrong, but i cannot deny the apathy towards them is super deep. Togashi to me, is one those authors, that makes me really wake up and realize there’s still a lot of unexpected territory out there.
He writes like an enthusiastic newbie, not a seasoned old timer that he is, who basically helped popularize the “tournament arc” and “dark edgy shonen” stuff with YYH. All his characters in HXH are geniuses, which is kind of a valid critique and can be annoying as hell too… Id say most readers dont really get how the hell nen works, yet somehow the story still functions so well in its character motivations/conflicts that it kinda doesn’t matter too much that.. It doesnt really make sense? We have to relearn what nen is basically every arc. Its not gonna stick. And yet im just so excited every time it updates and i really want to know what he wants to do with his new arc, if he is going to be able to do it. Nen to me is like a fake fantasy science that is tangible and real yet also you’re in a dream and you try to read the letters on a page, and you can read it but if you stare hard at it. The words are just blurs, or it doesn’t really connect. I like that there’s this malleable illusion that it functions in a way, that is concrete, but it isn’t really. But its enough that i can believe that for the characters, who are also not real, it is real for them.
The fact that i can talk about “”””NeN””” like this to me is essentially why it becomes the perfect shonen to me because it takes itself so seriously, so genuinely, yet it also is nonsense but not in the way where its like.. Irony poisoned, “gotcha” twists? Im sick of all these subverting shonens that arent subverting anything. Or even just the attitude that is what makes a good shonen these days is to subvert, diminish, laugh, ect at shonen while completely stepping inside the same footprints again and again. So much manga just wants to be dragon ball, but dragon ball was good cuz it was just a fun, well drawn action manga that wasn’t trying to BE dragonball. It was just dragon ball. (maybe now its trying to be dragon ball, which is why i dont care about whatever sequel attempt we’re at now, but that’s another story.) Its fun to me that i dont know if Gon is gonna come back in Hxh. like, maybe he will and his powers will be restored ect.. But at the time of writing this, and for YEARS we just.. Have the main pals of the manga separated. Their friendship has changed. There’s a great shift in it. Gon met his dad, who sucks, but that kind of was his main quest. Sure, we have kurapika’s arc, and many other routes to go - but in a weird way HXH is done and it isn’t done at the same time. I’m just like, what are we going to do now. TOGASHI said flat earth real and was like, the other half of it is UNEXPLORED AND SO DARN DANGEROUS and theres SOM BIGGGGG DINOSAURS THERE and it just feels so gleefully like.. You’re on the swingset and some kid just keeps having to up the stakes but in the most kid-like way possible. For serious. But Togashi’s 58. But he’s right too, the dark continent IS so cool.. I just imagine leorio going there and getting so sick and shitting mutant diahrea and dying the SECOND he sets foot there and its awesome. That’s NOT what’s going to happen but im delighted at the opportunity.
This is the point where I’m writing something when i take a pause and wonder how the hell i got here. I have skimmed the above written text. Whatever point i think i was going to make, wasn’t made, but i expressed.. good feelings here. This is how i write. I typed all of that in about 15 minutes with no idea where it was gonna go. Part of the process now would be to go back, organize, edit, ect. To *TRY* to make it a little more comprehensible, as with all writing. Believe it or not i have gotten better at editing my own work. But the true nature of it all is still the same. And its the same in the way that i dont want, no matter how much i improve at my craft, i dont want to lose that enthusiasm i feel when i reach 58. I think that would be such a triumph, id be so lucky to be able to muster that energy. When I think of togashi, i think he has that. He has that real artistic spark that no amount of time/experience has ever diminished and that’s why i think he’s truly my personal favorite mangaka. (maybe tezuka too)
#felt like sharing more of my journals#ive really cut down on these but you know what .. fuck it#togashi time#hunter x hunter#togashi#hope anyone enjoys this if you manage to read it#its kinda all over the place lmao
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“The strongest”
Synopsis - uh gojo kinda weird and so is reader 😭 gojo plays with readers feelings and is a manipulator but reader like cant let him go
Warnings: toxic relationship, manipulation, gojo kinda weird like I said, not proofread, written at like 3 AM idrk let me know if anything’s missing
A/n (guys PLEASE don’t take this seriously cus I definitely didn’t 😭😭this was a random ass think I just put together this was just for my friends so we can all test our writing skills but if y’all like this (idk how 😭) I’ll fs make a part 2)
The screen of your phone flashed on as your Lock Screen illuminated your face a picture of you and Satoru. Your eyes went up to the time it was 11:03 pm. Sighing, you put your phone back on your nightstand, thinking that he’s just busy being “The Strongest“ but deep inside you, you knew that wasn’t the case at all.
You knew he was out trying his “strongest” to be away from you. You knew about the other women he out was seeing. You knew he was getting tired of you and he wasn’t that good at hiding it. When he would come home he would greet you bluntly, give you a small peck on ur cheek and leave you there to go get ready to leave again and go out god knows where. Not caring to ask about your day or even a small conversation at least. Satoru’s excuse for leaving was always just a quick “Sorry, got to go something important came up it’s “work” related.” Or “I’m just gonna go out with friends. I’ll call you when I get there. He never called you.
You weren’t stupid nor, were you born yesterday he was dressed up fancy and all, like the way he used to dress when you used to go on dates at fancy restaurants. Maybe you were stupid, stupid for being so blinded by your love for Satoru. Stupid for staying with him and believing his lies. You knew he was falling out of love with you, if he hadn’t already, but you couldn’t let him go even if you tried you held on to the memories of when he used to be so in love with you.
The times where it was just you and him and he would tell you each and every thing he loved about you. When he would tell you how beautiful your insecurities were, and would kiss each one of them. A small part of you still believed he loved you or at least wanted to. You were caught up in your thoughts you jumped when the door opened you didn’t even bother to get out of bed.
About ten minutes later Satoru satoru entered your shared room. You thought about it, you were gonna tell him about how you felt, how you didn’t feel loved anymore, how you were thinking about leaving him. “Satoru.. can we talk please?” You looked up at him with sad eyes, you got up to sit on the edge of your bed. “Hm?”
He asked nonchalantly, not even turning around to look at you as he looked in the mirror. “I don’t feel like you love me anymore. I know you have been cheating on me. I know you have been lying about where you have been going. Why Satoru!? I have done nothing but loved you, is it something that I did? Is it something you don’t like about me..?”
His turned around his eyes were wide “[name]….. what..? What are you even talking about? I-I do love you? I promise baby, I promise I haven’t been cheating on you” this was the first time in a while he told you he loved you. You cursed yourself for folding, for giving in to him. “R-really do you..? Then explain everything, explain the women that you talk to on the phone when I’m sleeping. Explain the not spending any time with me anymore. Explain everything!”
You asked for answers, pleading for them. “What are you even talking about! Do you know how hard being “The strongest” is? The whole world relies on me to save it! I have a duty to do things that regular people like you dont- never will understand. Don’t question or worry about anything I do, kay?” You sat in silence looking down at your floor like a kid who just got lectured by their parents for behaving real bad.
“Being “the strongest” has a lot of responsibilities to it. Maybe there are things that he has to do that I don’t understand. What if im being selfish and only thinking about myself and not thinking from his perspective..”You thought to yourself, hundreds of questions raced through your head. It sure was funny how he was able to manipulate the whole situation and change your way of thinking with only a few sentences.
You sighed “im sorry. I should of just minded my business.. I was close-minded and didn’t even consider what you go through to protect me- protect the world please forgive me..”
He looked at you with a blank stare “Sorry I don’t want to deal with this right now I’m going to go on a walk” he changed his clothes quickly, packed some stuff, and left. He probably made a quick call to some mistress to spend the night there. You were tired, your head was pounding, confused.
Hundreds of thoughts ran through your head as you fell asleep. You swore to yourself by time he would be home, you would leave the house, leave this relationship, leave everything.
#luh calm fanfic#gojo x reader#jjk × reader#jik angst#gojo angst#gojo × you#gojo x y/n#jik x you#jik x y/n#gojo satoru × reader#gojo satoru x you#satoru gojo × reader#satoru gojo x y/n#gojo satoru x y/n#satoru gojo × you#satoru x reader#satoru × you#satoru × y/n#jujutsu kaisen × reader#jujutsu kaisen × you#jujutsu kaisen x y/n#jujutsu kaisen angst#satoru gojo angst#gojo satoru angst#gojo fanfic#gojo fic#gojo drabbles#gojo imagines#gojo scenarios#jujutsu kaisen
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