#but your brain is the most beautiful thing ever

[probablyreadinsmut]

The Cooldown.

One shot.

Pairing: Boyfriend! Joel Miller x Mid/Plus size Afab!Reader

Pictures used are just for reference purposes, you are the lucky gal in this fic

Summary: Your boyfriend can't resist offering you a little post workout fun. Completely inspired by those pictures of Pedro from yesterday.

This one goes out to all my thigh riding girlie's (gn) <3

Warnings: 18+ MDNI! Established relationship, AU no outbreak, Mentions of being body conscious in the past, vague descriptions of being fuller figured nothing specific though, sweaty post gym thigh riding, Praise, dirty talk. Undefined legal age gap. Spanking.

Not beta'd and probably not proofread very well, putting the disorder in adhd, as ever. ✌️

Word Count: 1.1k

Masterlist

“C’mere baby” Joel’s patting his thick thigh with a lecherous grin on his face as he’s watching you peel off your gym wear, the damp nylon is sticking to every inch of you.

You respond with a soft snort “What do you mean come here? Joel, I feel gross. That work out nearly killed me today.” It had been his idea to start going to the gym together, another ‘couples bonding’ experience he’d said. He was big into that kind of thing, but honestly you were pretty sure it was so he could watch your tits and ass jiggle, he thought he was slick.

“Do I look like I care darlin’? Get that beautiful ass over here and ride my thigh, c’mon...” It’s a command and an invitation all in one, your boyfriend of two years knew what he wanted, he’s never sugar-coated it and that horny, feral part of your brain loved that about him.

So, you shuck off your sports bra over your head, tossing it into the hamper. You can feel the sweat that had collected beneath the material was now running down your sternum, trickling to your belly button. You’d already be in the shower if you were alone, but these days doing anything alone is a huge feat in itself where Joel is concerned. On the days he’s not working, or when Sarah is at school, he’s with you, making the most of your time together. Usually naked.

You watch as his once brown eyes go almost completely black with desire, pupils blown wide, the bulge in his sinfully short shorts is impossible to ignore. You’d tease him a little more if you weren’t so fucking turned on. Maybe a joint session at the gym had been for both his benefit and yours. He’d been eyeing you in your figure hugging leggings and tight little sports bra while you’d been ogling his thighs and ass the whole time.

You should have known that once you made it back to your place, you’d both be spending the rest of the day engaging in a more horizontal form of exercise.

So you tug off your leggings, shimmying out of them as you take your panties off with them, his eyes never leave you for a moment, his gaze is both predatory and appreciative. You’re his. Every day he thanks his lucky stars for that.

You put on a little show for him as you strut towards the bed where he sits, his thighs parted wide, leaning back on his palms. Your hips shake hypnotically with every step. Before Joel, you hadn’t loved your body that much, but now with the way he worships every dip and curve, whether it be with his eyes, lips, tongue or fingers, now you love your fuller frame. Gone are the days where you’d be covering up in t-shirts that swamped you at the gym, you were beautiful and you didn’t feel the need to hide any more.

You lower yourself onto his thick thigh, more defined these days, he’d said a while ago that he wanted to stay in shape now he was getting ‘older’, if not for his sake then for the sake of his babygirl and you were more than happy to support him, they way he supported you in everything you wanted to achieve.

“That’s it” He coos, leaning back just pinning you with a stare that has you melting already “Fuck darlin’ look at you, pretty as a picture. Y’look good just like this...”

You preen under his praise, a little giggle leaving you as you plant your hands on his broad shoulders and start to glide along his thigh, the ridges and hairs tickle your clit just right. “Maybe we just skip the gym next time... Stay home and fuck all day instead?” That earns you a sharp spank, making you gasp, soothed by his thick fingers pawing at the fleshy part of your cheek. It’s a sweet sting that’s left there, one you know has probably left a red mark, one that has your cunt clenching around nothing nonetheless, dribbling onto his naked thigh.

“I could spend all day in this pretty little pussy, y’know that” His hands come up to your hips, kneading the soft flesh under his fingertips “But there’s just something about you... All hot and sweaty out in public that makes my motor run baby... maybe next time y’let me fuck you in the locker room huh? Stay nice an’ quiet for me while I bend you over one of those benches? That sound good sugar?” he’s guiding you now, pressing you down harder against his thigh, urging you to roll those gorgeous hips of yours.

With a breathy moan you nod and he spanks you again, the slap echoing throughout the bedroom.

“Use your words sweetness, need t’hear you say it.”

You feel your release quickly creeping up on you, his thigh is getting slicker by the second. You grind yourself deeper agaisnt his thigh with his guidance giving your swollen little clit all the attention she so desperately needs. “Yes! Fuck baby- P-please next time... N-next time fuck me just like that...”

He can feel you tensing up on top of him, he can hear the little hitches in your breath all the subtle cues that tell him you’re about to make a mess on his thigh.

“That’s it darlin’ just like that, keep goin’.. Fuck... After this we’re gonna go take a shower together and I’m gonna bury my cock so deep inside you, that you won’t know where you end and I begin... Gonna make this tight little pussy sing for me” His jaw is set and tense as he grits his teeth, urging you to move faster, you look between the two of you seeing his cock straining painfully against the stretchy fabric of his shorts, begging to come out and play.

You throw your head back, nails digging into his taut flesh as your orgasm washes over you like a tidal wave of pleasure. The deep, filthy groan that leaves him as he watches you fall apart is one that will be engrained in your memory for years to come.

His thigh is soaked, he can feel it running down his knee and he fucking loves it. Your cries of ecstasy are just dying down when he releases his grip on your hips and helps you up onto your feet, holding you upright since you’re knees are buckling like a deer taking their first steps.

He’s guiding you towards the ensuite when he ducks his head down to drawl in your ear “C’mon baby, let’s get you all cleaned up so I can make you dirty again”.  

Tags: @almostempty @itwasntimethatdidit40 @joelmillerisapunk @baronessvonglitter @syd-djarin @mysterious-moonstruck-musings @guiltyasdave

[thejakeformerlyknownasprince]

So I'm putting together an In Defence of Cassie PowerPoint for a PowerPoint night with friends. Do you have any arguments for or against her? I trust your opinion and am curious.

Let's see.

"She's too powerful, too unique, too far-seeing, and not good enough for Jake! What a Mary Sue!"

Counterpoint: May I introduce you to the reigning champion fan favorite, Sad White Boy Tobias?

Only nothlit ever to regain the ability to morph

Only known human-andalite hybrid ever to exist

Regarded as savior by entire hork-bajir species

Entire existence is a time paradox the war hinges upon

Pulls the canonically "most beautiful girl in our grade", who turns down 6 or 7 other offers in favor of Bird Boy

Correctly predicted planetary ecology 65 million years in advance

Believed to be immune to 2-hour limit

In conclusion: y'all wouldn't be crying "Mary Sue" if Cassie was a sad white boy, and I can prove it.

"She's too weak and hand-wringing, and she never helps the war effort!"

Counterpoint: First of all, the fact that the same people say this in the same breath as "she's too powerful" is... telling. Secondly:

She saved the entire team's lives in #24, in #29, in #44, and in MM1, among others.

Specifically calling out #44 — that ending shows she is willing and able to be ruthless when her friends are in need. She doesn't like slaughtering human-controllers, but if the alternative is everyone she loves dying, then she'll fucking well do it.

Much like Jake (see: Sad White Boy), she's more willing to risk herself than her friends, hence the end of MM1

Her medical knowledge saves Marco from rabies, Ax from brain!appendicitis, and Tobias from bird flu.

Her survivalist knowledge saves everyone in #25 (the Arctic), MM2 (Cretaceous Era), #11 (rainforest), and #14 (desert).

In conclusion: Cassie's only idealistic-looking by the standards of this extremely morally gray team.

"She's so unfair to Jake!"

Counterpoint: Jake? The Jake who refused to speak with her for weeks? Jake who proposes marriage while they're still broken up? Jake who announces he'll never trust Cassie again because she [checks notes] saved his brother's life? That Jake?

Also:

She gives him tons of emotional support in #16, #21, #47, and other times he's feeling low.

They have a healthy argument where they air differences and come to an understanding in #9.

Did I mention he doesn't just dump her but ghosts her in the middle of the war's endgame?

They're teenagers. Their relationship isn't perfect, but it is built on open communication and mutual respect which is more than Rachel and Tobias can say

She's fighting a war, and PTSD for that matter. No, she doesn't have infinite emotional bandwidth.

In conclusion: Their relationship is fine, their breakup is mutual, and her behavior only looks bad if, once again, you're holding Cassie to a different standard than you are Jake.

"She shouldn't have trusted Aftran!"

Counterpoint: friendly reminder that the alternative was killing a 6-year-old for being in the wrong place at the wrong time. If that's what you think Cassie should've done, that tells us more about you than about her.

"She spends too much time moralizing!"

Counterpoint: this is a book series about war, not a friggin' video game. If you want moral pornography, go play Call of Duty. If you want sci fi realism, then you're going to have to accept that a majority of humans prefer not to kill their fellow humans if at all possible.

"She's a ripoff of [insert character here]!"

Counterpoint: literally every single one of these says more about the commenter than about the source work. "Every dystopia is set in the U.S." is the kind of thing only people who only read books by American authors would think. "All epic fantasy is Eurocentric" => tell me you only read books by white people without telling me. I'm glad you think Cassie is too similar to Willow Rosenberg, but there are at least 6 other stories in the known world, and I hear some of them even feature sweet/dorky/caring characters who are secretly ultra-powerful.

In conclusion: You don't have to like Cassie as a (fictional) person, but 85% of criticisms directed at her are bad-faith attacks on one of the 1990s' only fat Black female gnc ultra-powerful superheroes.

[lieslab]

And at last I see the light

꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎ ꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎

Pairing: Minho X gn reader

Summary: Half-delirious and sick, you randomly tell Minho about your dream proposal and he takes notes.

Genre: Fluff

Word Count: 2.5K

A/N: I'm sappy and emotional. This was definitely inspired by Tangled. What can I say? I'm just a girl who cries easily and thinks about love a lot. Can a girl not ponder? Anyway, if you get choked up at proposals, grab a tissue or two.

_ _ _

The simple conversation was so long ago that you forgot about it. It was a brief moment in passing, just another random conversation, but Minho didn’t forget it. In fact, he’d been planning since then. 

“If I were to propose to you, where would you want it and how would you want it done?” 

The two of you were on opposite ends of the couch. Your body was heavy with the weight of a random stomach bug. Through the stomach aches and nausea, you were fading in and out of consciousness. Minho wanted to take you to your shared bed, but you refused. Too worried about making him sick, you opted to stay on the couch. 

Every time he came close to you, you stubbornly held your breath and threatened to make yourself pass out. It was dramatic, but it wasn’t unusual for you, you always were. Too afraid of giving him the same bug, you did your best to keep your distance. 

You didn’t get the exact wish you were hoping and praying for. At some point, you fell asleep and he covered you in a thick fleece blue blanket. A kiss was planted to the top of your sleeping temple before he strolled back over to the couch. He curled up on the other side and kept an eye on you. 

The television was already on, but he twitched the show to something silly with cartoon characters. You needed your rest and he didn’t want you to wake up and stress out your brain by trying to follow along with a half-over plot. He picked out the most childish show and let it play. 

When you woke up, you awoke to dancing shadows and the gentle vibrations of the leather couch. Across the way, Minho couldn’t help, but laugh at something that a character said. He grinned and kept his eyes on the flickering screen. 

You caught his attention when you sleepily uttered his name. He quickly lowered the volume, got up, and rushed to get you water. You still refused to let him be too close, so all he could do was keep his distance and observe your stubborn self. 

The conversations didn’t have a steady theme. He talked about one thing and then another. You jumped from topic-to-topic with him. You were about ready to fall asleep again when he asked you that question. 

��Tangled,” you mumbled. 

His eyebrows pinched together and he studied your face. Your sleepy eyes were half-lidded and a yawn tugged your mouth into a small o-shape. A smile grew on half of his face and he asked for clarification. 

“The scene where Rapunzel and Flynn are in the gondola with the flying lanterns.” 

“What about it?” 

“Maybe not the gondola, but with the flying lanterns.” You nuzzled your head back against the cool leather. “I’ve always thought they were beautiful. It’d be the perfect memory.” 

“You think so?” 

“I know so, but you can’t propose to me when I’m sick. I don’t feel good and I think I’d throw up on your shoes. I think the lights would somehow make me nauseous.” 

“You poor, poor thing,” he teased you. 

“Mmhm. Poor me.” Your eyes slipped shut and you let out a sigh. He watched you slowly drift back to sleep with the cartoons long forgotten about. His brain went into overdrive that night. 

Loving Minho was the easiest choice you ever made. From his quick wit to his loudness, it was the best choice. Not a single soul could compare and it was something you tried not to take for granted. 

Whether it was arguing about who deserved the last pudding, or sitting in silence while Minho laid on your lap, your love was so simple. Life went on and the conversation erased from your brain, but it didn’t stop you from having moments when you watched him with a soft fondness. 

Your body relaxed and inside your chest, your heart stuttered as your brain tried to capture those little moments. Sometimes, it was as simple as him leaning over the stove and stirring whatever dish he was trying to make. Other times, it was when he was bare faced and stretched out on the couch with one of his cats upon his lap. 

His messy hair poked out in every direction from running his hand through it. After dance practice, his muscles ached and he just wanted to sit down and take a bit of time to relax. You usually joined him and crept over, snuggling beneath his arm to keep him warm. He’d whine and complain of your sudden presence, but he never pulled away. 

He liked when you wrapped your arms around his torso and pressed a soft kiss against the side of his neck. Just as you grew fond of him, he grew smitten with you. He joked that his love for you was like a pesky bunion that just wouldn’t go away. 

Meanwhile, you compared it to wild mushrooms. You could try to stop loving him, but the love would keep sprouting up. Just when you thought there was nothing more to love, you’d turn your back for a brief moment and glance back to find another thing to love; another mushroom sprouted through damp soil. 

Everything was warm and bright. In your eyes, everything was right and as the days turned into weeks, when those weeks burrowed into months, and began to roll into years, Minho knew he had you forever. He was going to take advantage of your sleepy-sick state and put his plans into action one day, but it never seemed like the right time. The two of you were always busy and time kept going, your love was an endless sea, but he wanted to make it truly official. 

That wish came true when spring unveiled itself. With the chirping birds and baby bunnies, there was finally going to be a lantern festival. Rejuvenation, rebirth, and earth’s restoration; the perfect time to take the next step in your relationship. 

“Wear something nice.”

“I always wear something nice.” 

“Your constant state of sweatpants and hoodies says otherwise.” 

“Fuck off!” 

He just wanted you to look back at the video and be content with what you were wearing. The lantern festival was a rarity and you already had your best outfit picked out. You went through the entire routine of making yourself look good and then put it on. 

It was a miracle that you didn’t notice the bouncing of his non-driving leg. He shifted in the seat a few times, but your nose was pressed against the passenger’s seat glass. You were going on and on about how excited you were for the festival, you always wanted to attend one. 

You were unaware that the fate of your relationship sat in a small square box in Minho’s pocket. The weight of it in his pocket wasn’t much, but tonight, it felt like the ring he picked out was a thousand pounds. He kept glancing over at you and imagining what your face would look like. If it was ugly, he would be sure to tease you about it. 

The two of you arrived twenty minutes before the lanterns were set to be released. Finding a parking space was difficult, but by some miracle, he managed to find an empty space to squeeze his car into. He grabbed your hand and headed to the area to grab a lantern. 

“Are you getting one too?” You asked, practically bouncing on the balls of your feet. 

“No, I just want to watch you light and release yours. You’ve been wanting this, right? It’s your night to shine.” 

“Well, yeah, but I thought you were going to do it with me.” You frowned and couldn’t hide the disappointment from your voice. 

“Just don’t worry about it, have your fun.” 

After grabbing the paper lantern with a tea light white candle tucked inside, Minho handed it to you. “Remember that you only get one wish, so use it well.” You playfully slapped his shoulder and took the lantern. 

“Maybe I should wish for you to stop being a pain in my ass.” 

“In your dreams.” 

With one hand on the lantern and one hand in Minho’s, you began to lead him through the thicket of people. It seemed like everyone wanted to light and release a lantern too. Maybe it was the same reason as you, people wanted to make a wish. For others, it was a way to remember specific people and other loved ones. 

No matter what the reason was, it made your heart swell with happiness. How human was it to long for peace? People had done this since the beginning of time and tonight wasn’t anything new. 

Little did you know, Minho’s friend was tracking his location. The location sharing app had the exact path they were taking. A few people away, he silently followed with quiet footsteps. In his hand, the phone that’d be used to catch the proposal. 

You wiggled through laughter and tears full of a yearning for loved ones. Tonight, no matter who was here, there was a sense of unity. You could feel the tethered string of your heart plucking at all the sights and sounds. 

When you finally found a spot on a slight grassy hill, the two of you were only near a handful of people. Minho glanced over his shoulder and found his friend’s face in the reflection of a phone light. His friend quickly clicked off his phone, so he could stay hidden in the dark blanket of night.

“How do you feel?” Minho asked. 

“I’m so excited!” You grinned. “I’ve always wanted to do something like this. Ever since I watched Tangled for the first time, the floating lantern scene on the water has always been my favorite scene.” 

“I’m sorry that we’re not on water.” 

“Are you kidding me?” You scoffed. “Look at where we are! This is going to be so beautiful. It’s like we’re holding the stars tonight. For once, they won’t be in the sky, we’ll be capturing them and sending them back home.” 

He pressed his lips together, trying not to get sappy over how excited you were. You were like a little kid as you rambled. Even in the dark, a nearby street light lit up the excitement in your eyes. He’d seen you excited before, but this was something entirely different. 

His hand went into his pant’s pocket to make sure the ring was still there. His hand found the square leather box and his shoulders relaxed. He knew exactly how he’d do this, he was just hoping you’d say yes. 

After a few minutes of talking, your arm shot out and you pointed across the way. “Look! It’s starting! We can light our lantern!”

Our lantern. 

Minho said he wasn’t getting a floating lantern and instead of ignoring his words, you just assumed that the two of you could share the lantern instead. His heart ached with a love for you that he couldn’t understand sometimes. It was little things like that, it made him think he could love you until his heart gave out. 

He reached into his other pocket, held out a lighter, and handed it to you. You held up the lantern and he hesitated. It was only after you nodded that he flicked the flame to life. He placed it back in his pocket and behind him, his friend came closer to record the moment. 

“Come on, grab the lantern and make a wish.” 

“But it’s your lantern.” 

“Lee Minho, so help me, if you don’t grab on and make a wish with me...” 

Across the way, flickering yellows and oranges began to fly higher in the sky. He grabbed the other side of the lantern and together, the two of you raised it higher and higher. After your arms couldn’t stretch anymore, your fingers let go. 

You smiled as you watched it go further and further away. Above the people’s heads, above the buildings, and further and further into the night sky. Your eyes didn’t leave, even when it blended into a crowd of other lights. 

Awe and endearment flooded the area. Shouts of joy and flickers of laughter. No matter what people wished tonight, for once, it felt like it’d be okay. Whatever hurt and whatever harm had touched people’s lives, tonight was the start of something different. 

Every light had a story and each one was a flicker of hope. Into the air, into the sky, and over buildings. Tonight, you weren’t sure where your lantern would land, it’d be up to the universe to decide. 

“So what’d you wish for?” 

You began to spin around at the sound of Minho’s voice. “I wished for-” You gasped and a hand slammed over your mouth. A few feet away, Minho was down on one knee with a box holding a ring. 

“Are you joking?” Your voice wobbled as you spoke. An emotional lump was forming in your throat. Tears blurred your eyes. 

“Will you marry me?” 

“Seriously?” 

“Seriously.” 

“Yes. Yes. Yes!” You vigorously nodded as tears streamed down your cheeks. “A thousand times yes!” 

Before he could get up, you collapsed down beside him. He didn’t get a chance to speak because you threw your arms around his shoulders. You pressed your head into the side of his neck as a choked out sob fell from your lips. 

“Hey, hey, hey.” He wrapped his arms around you tightly. “Why are you crying?” 

“Because,” you weakly squeaked as you pulled away from his body. “This was my wish. I wanted our relationship to last forever.” 

“I guess we both got our wishes tonight. My wish was that you’d say yes.” He chuckled and wiped your tears away with his thumbs. “Can we get up now? I’d like to make it official and put a ring on it.” 

“You’re an idiot,” you mumbled as you pulled your arms away. You allowed him to help pull you up. Your hand stuck out and he began to stick a ring on your finger. 

“That might be true, but I’m your idiot.” He gently grabbed your ring finger and slid on the ring. “Now I’m your idiot forever. Come on, stop crying.” He wiped away more of your tears. 

“I can’t help it, I’ve always dreamed of this. How’d you know this is what I wanted? The floating lights and everything?” Your eyes searched his, but all he offered with a soft hum and a shrug. 

“Love is a mystery like that sometimes.” He leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to your forehead. “Come on,” he slowly turned you around. “Let's watch the lanterns, shall we?” An arm wrapped around your shoulders. 

With a final sniffle, you let your head lean against his shoulder. Everything was just as perfect as you’d imagine it to be. Nothing anyone could do would ever be able to top this moment.

Minho glanced over his shoulder and his friend gave him a thumbs up. He stopped the recording and disappeared back into the crowd of people. Tomorrow, Minho would make you watch the video and he’d tease you for your dramatic reaction. 

Tonight, you were just two people whose wishes came true beneath floating lanterns and that was enough for him. 

| ♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡ | ♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡ | ♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡ |

Taglist: @lia-linny @straykidsstanforeverandever @seungnishi @stellasays45 @emilyywhyy @rockstarkkami @flightlessackerman

Masterlist

Taglist and inbox rules

Ko-fi

[burningembers91]

Sleeping With the Enemy - Hwang Jun-Ho x Fem!Reader (NSFW)

Synopsis: tasked with taking down the most ruthless gangster in Seoul, Hwang Jun-Ho didn’t know he’d fall for his target’s wife in the process.

Please note that this storyline will deal with situations depicting domestic violence.

A/N: Did I come up with this idea at 1am when I couldn’t sleep? Yes. Did I also get up at 5am to write it as it was etched into my brain? Yes. Am I very tired? Also, yes. But this storyline is gonna be juicy as heck.

It was you who called the police. You, who in your wedding vows had sworn to love and protect you husband, just has he had sworn the same. He hadn’t bothered to keep his promise though, so why should you? The man you married was a ruthless tyrant, taking whatever he wanted with little regard for the devastation his actions caused. The police had been after him for years, desperate to catch the ruthless gangster who tormented the good people of Seoul. You’d be so young when you married him, swept up in the glitz and glamour of the high life he showed you. He’d promised you the world; you just hadn’t realised it would come at a cost.

You weren’t sure you’d ever loved your husband, and you knew he’d never loved you. You were an accessory on his arm, something necessary to bring along to meetings and parties, adorning you in the highest quality clothes and shoes for his colleagues and competitors to admire. He’d started hitting you shortly after your wedding, started showing his real colours when he was confident you couldn’t escape. You’d spent years cowering in his shadow, meekly accepting the designer gifts he bestowed upon you as an apology for treating you like dirt. You weren’t living anymore; you were simply existing.

Hwang Jun-Ho was assigned to your case, tasked with keeping the beautiful wife of the city’s most dangerous gangster safe. He’d been warned that you couldn’t be trusted; that this whole thing could be nothing more than a ploy to send the police off chasing their tails. But Jun-Ho knew from the moment he met you that you weren’t doing your husband’s bidding. You were stunning, dressed in Dior, Prada and dripping in Cartier diamonds. But those high end brands couldn’t mask the fear in your eyes. Just like the makeup couldn’t mask the bruises on your face. At first, he’d been sure this case would be the one he needed to skyrocket him to greater things. But one meeting with you and the boost this would give to his career was no longer his priority; you were. He’d been in this job for long enough that not much fazed him, but your stories had kept him up at night. Tales of your husband’s beatings, his drug deals, his human trafficking, Jun-Ho wondered how you’d endured it all. How you’d kept your wits and sanity while married to the devil himself.

He tried to keep things professional, tried to keep a distance, but you pulled him in like a moth to a flame. You were so fragile and yet so strong, so beautiful, so meek yet so brimming with confidence that it floored him every time. You’d meet in secret, when your husband was out of town on business, slowly giving Jun-Ho the evidence he needed to bring down the man you’d pledged your life to.

It was after your fourth meeting that he fucked you in the back of his car, your moans like the sweetest music to his ears as his took you on the leather seats. From that moment on, Jun-Ho knew there was no going back; he was hooked on you. From that moment on, you would meet each week, exchange information and then make love in his apartment. You smelled like Chanel No.5, and it permeated his bedsheets, keeping him company on the long nights without you. Your lipstick left stains on his skin, marking its way down his chest and thighs. The sound of your breathy moans were permanently etched on his brain, going round and round his head like the most beautiful broken record.

He wasn’t sure when infatuation turned into love. All he knew is that he would do anything for you. He would die for you if it would keep you safe. You were both under no illusion that you were playing a risky game, one that you were almost certain wouldn’t end well.

But for the first time in your life, you could confidently say you knew what love was. Jun-Ho showed you affection and care you’d only ever dreamt of. He made you laugh, made you feel safe, and when his lips explored your body, he made your toes curls in the most exquisite way imaginable.

Yes, you knew this wouldn’t end well. Your husband was not a man who forgave and forgot. But Jun-Ho was determined to keep you safe. He would find a way to break you free of the chains the devil had ensnared you in. He’d find a way to protect you from the man who kept you in constant fear. He didn’t know how this would end, but he knew that he would risk it all for you.

[drowning-rabbit]

fuck it, i love you

spencer reid x celebrity!reader

chapter one: i like to see everything in neon

word count: 1.6k

plot summary

chapter summary: the calm before the storm - you meet spencer reid at an art gallery and he makes you question your view on life in less than twenty minutes.

Pretending is easy. At least that’s what you’ve been telling yourself the majority of adulthood. At 25, you had been cruising through milestones in a convertible, with the top down and the wind blowing. Making it as a public figure never seemed attainable until it was in front of your eyes. Poor kids don’t get famous, and your situation was inopportune at best. Childhood wasn’t easy, but lo and behold: here was a thriving career in your mid-20s, launched by a recurring role in a dramatic romance series.

Except it wasn’t all that easy. The series wasn’t perfect, and it required a lot more intense scenes than you had hoped. But it had kickstarted your fame, and Michael said it was too early to leave. You had worked relentlessly to get here with no one close to your side. Parker was nice, and had been a great friend since college. He was always busy curating, though. Pinky was… there. Mags had been around constantly but was a bit clingy, and Michael, your manager, was a delight. That was it. Hollywood was lonely, and you had given up the concept of real friends entirely. Although every single available person threw themselves at your feet, no one had treated you as an equal. There were no friends in business; only colleagues. Most anyone would stab a knife into your back for an opportunity at more money and fame. Some pretended to be nice, while others were outright rude. Pinky was one of the rude ones. Although interesting to be around, she was a narcissist and constantly brought you down. She also had a thing for older men - which was odd considering her preference for dating women.

Parker had asked you to attend his latest exhibit, accompanied by Pinky. She was a featured artist. You arrived before the crowd in order to avoid most of the paparazzi, and now walked with him and Pinky through the exhibit. Cameras were not allowed inside, so you were safe from prying eyes. He explained some of the featured pieces to you, but was quickly distracted by someone he recognized.

“Spencer! Spencer Reid! Dude! Look at you!” He yelled over to two men in corporate clothing. One was older, middle-aged. His hair was greying and his expression was solemn. He looked like he had seen a lifetime of sadness. Pinky would latch on quickly. The other was possibly the most beautiful man currently in the state of California. He had the sweetest brown eyes, slightly overgrown hair, and an apprehensive smile. He looked hesitant, like he didn’t want to see Parker. That must be Spencer Reid. The name bounced around in your head like the DVD-idle screen that played during late nights in your apartment. He stood awkwardly with his hands nestled into his dress pants, his polka dot button up covered by a grey vest and a sleek black tie.

“You look just the same. Look at you, dude. Nothing’s changed. Spencer was the only 12 year old in our graduating class. Just the same.” Parker smiled genuinely at the pretty man. His name hit the corner of your brain’s TV screen and it clicked. Spencer Reid, graduated high school at twelve years old. A man that looked like a modern Adonis but walked with the air of a childhood prodigy. Clearly intelligent, equally awkward. Beautiful. Pretending was easy - you remembered to feign disinterest. After staring at him for a few minutes, you gave up on enjoying peace of mind and walked around the gallery with Pinky. It seemed like everything out of her mouth was contemporary, which explained the nature of her pieces. You pretended to pay attention, but Spencer still lingered in your thoughts until you heard Parker call your name.

“Guys, come on.” He motioned to Spencer and the other man as they approached you. “Spencer, you ever meet a real movie star?” He asked as Spencer eyed you up and down. When he met your gaze, he realized what he was doing and quickly looked away. You kept your eyes on him.

“Movie star? Please, she's got one role on a television series about weird kinky romance. Totally blue collar,” Pinky added from beside you. You chuckled a bit and introduced yourself, refusing to let eye contact break when Spencer looked back at you.

“Hi, I'm... I'm doctor Spencer... Reid. I'm Spencer. You don't have to... call me doctor.” He stuttered through his introduction and squinted like he offended himself.

“I won't.. Spencer.” You grinned widely to convince him to lighten up a little. You were interrupted by several flashes of a camera, so Parker excused himself.

“Hey you! I told you! No photos in the gallery! All right? Out!” You sighed deeply before reaching out to grab a glass of champagne off of a tray. Paparazzi always got in the way of everything. It was hard to say acting was worth it when privacy was never an option. Sure, you loved your job, but at what cost? When was it all enough? Pretending is easy, so you pretended not to care.

“So... you're not from around here, are you?” You asked Spencer, giving him another award-winning smile. He wasn’t used to it all, and despite the awkward facade, he was shockingly easy to talk to. His hesitance to be in the limelight gave you a sense of camaraderie. It was fun to be the center of attention, but easier to blend in to the crowd. Talking to him made you feel normal, like you could have a real friend.

“Me? No.” He shook his head firmly. “No, I'm... We're running a training service about profiling for the Los Angeles police department.”

“Profiling?” You questioned. So much for a friend. He was a narc.

“Yeah, I'm with the behavioral analysis unit of the FBI. We psychoanalyze crime scenes in order to gain a better understanding of the criminal’s thought process,” He explained, crossing his arms over his chest. Oh, so maybe not as bad. He wasn’t any harm to you, anyway. It couldn’t hurt to entertain the possibility of connection. Pretending was easy, lying to yourself was a different story. And you couldn’t possibly lie about your attraction towards this man. You wondered if he could tell.

“Psychoanalyze, huh?” You watched his eyes as they averted your gaze, his cheeks still an endearing shade of pink. You wanted to see him turn red.

“Are you doing that to me right now?” You giggled as you watched his color turn. Bingo.

“What? no! I'm not psychoanalyzing you. I'm just…” He was so pretty.

“I'm kidding.” You said gently, unable to stop yourself from making sure he was comfortable. “Do you mind if I?” You reached out a hand and waited for him to take it.

He paused for an uncomfortably long period of time, staring at your well-manicured hand extended out towards his. He blinked once, twice, three times, as if trying to convince himself of something. He swallowed and closed his eyes, and you watched the trail of his Adam’s apple. When you looked up, he shook his head before opening his eyes and lacing his fingers through yours. You led him to one of the paintings on the wall while trying to hold his hand as gently as possibly. Physical contact seemed to be difficult for him, and it made you giddy that he was willing to trust you blindly. After a moment, you spoke again.

“Does it make you feel anything?” you gestured towards the painting in front of you. It was mostly dark, but splotches of neon light painted the canvas in an endearing way. It reminded you of Hollywood. When the lights were so bright, it was easy to forget the darkness lingering behind the scenes.

“Like what?” He tilted his head in curiosity, and you melted.

“I can't tell you how to feel. I can tell you I like to see everything in neon, and the lime green reminds me of partying. Fame is hard, but it’s easy to deal with. You just have to let go and live a little” You squeezed his hand a little, and he looked down before you heard a reply.

“Right now, I feel pretty good.” He squeezed your hand back. “You know, there’s other ways to cope. Maybe I can..”

“We're leaving.”

Spencer abruptly let go of you as the man from earlier tapped his back. He seemed to flinch as he realized what he was doing by touching you.

“We're still looking at the exhibit,” He protested, wiping the hand that held yours onto his pants. Was he trying to get rid of your germs? He could be a germaphobe, since you knew nothing about him. In fact, it was kind of odd to be holding the hand of someone you met twenty minutes ago. Then again, it was also odd for an FBI profiler and a television actress to meet in the middle of an art gallery. And it was odd that meeting this unusual man had been the most interesting event in your life in a long time.

“Now. Now, now.” The older man was in an urgent rush. He had left with Pinky earlier, which meant she was up to her antics again.

“Yeah, I guess we're leaving, so...” He looked you up and down, but made no move to leave.

“Reid, now.” At this, he started away from you. Fucking Pinky.

“Nice to meet you, Spencer Reid.”

“Bye!” He turned and smiled back at you, waving quickly. You only hoped you would see him again. Pretending was easy, so you pretended it didn’t matter.

[dirt-str1der]

WHY DID YOU FEEL THE NEED TO TELL ME ABOUT YOUR AROACE SENKU HEADCANON ON MY GAY SENKU AND TRANS REI POST

Just finished Dr Stone Reboot

[enjoythesilentworld]

2024 fandom review!

thank u for the tag @willesredlights sorry it took me literally ages to get to it

lets pretend we're not almost two weeks into the new year ok? and what a year it has been. holy shit.

~ Fics written ~

I'll be honest I did go a little batshit crazy this past year. 314k words across 19 published works, plus god knows how much more unpublished on tumblr. listen, I was deep in the ??? phase of my master's (still am, lets be honest) and desperately looking for a new creative outlet. I've always been a writer, always loved dreaming up stories, but I have never quite connected to a universe as much as I have to this one. I resonate with so many of the characters, and i just feel like there is so much room to play and explore. i will continue to add in old people OCs to my fics wherever and whenever i get the chance.

First fic: for the tree's sake (M, 48k) aka tree boys inspired by the trip that eventually led to my discover of young royals in late '23, and my darling baby. yes, that airplane ride that seems weird and random is based on truth!

Fav fic: just if for a minute (T, 53k) aka fake married idiots i greatly enjoyed making Wille suffer for just under 53k. that confrontation scene took days off my life and yet i am so proud of how it turned out.

Honorary mention to Growing towards the light, which was a dream to work on and create with my dear sweet friend Lia. there is one braincell between the two of us and it's full of nature facts and dick jokes. and beautiful stories about getting lost in the wilderness and finding yourself along the way. and tent-dick jokes.

Last fic: Wille på Hyllan (T, 13k) aka christmas shenanigans! another collab with my dearest friends which was hilarious to write and so silly and imo an example of one of the greatest perks of being in a fandom: meeting some of the most incredible people ever. also, dick-lights and dick-tomtar and dick-cookies. what more could you want?

~ Fics Read ~

if i tried to go through my history and tell you how many fics i read this year i would never make this post. i'd be here counting and trying to copy links forever. i read hundreds of fics. i enjoyed all of them, thoroughly. i got a lot better at leaving comments (sometimes). i was consistently and repeatedly blown away by the genius brains we have in this little Swedish corner of the internet.

if you are a writer i love you and i give u a kiss on the forehead.

also: i recently made a lil rec list here.

~ Other Stuff? ~

i had two big, busy months this year. three? : May, Wille's month & July, Simon's month i cannot believe i wrote 62 stories in 62 different universes (give or take a few). that's kind of stupid! but oh my god it was so fun!! some of my favs: -> Food, where Wille and Simon meet and embark on a mistakenly booked couples food tour in Barcelona -> Fashion/Style, aka the Met Gala AU aka the thing that turned into something so much bigger than i could have ever imagined. literally i thought people were gonna hate it. so, thank u for not hating it. and for letting it become 15k+ of pwp. -> Secret, friends to lovers RAHHHHHH -> Home (Improvement), aka grumpy home renovator Simon idk i just feel like this should become a full-blown fic one day

and oh boy who can forget about Kinktober from wax kinks in 17th century Italy to desperate love confession in the middle of wildfires to... whatever that was in the confessional (idk, that's between them and God).

2024...

I did some painting: x x I wrote some real weird lil ficlets: x x and I met dozens of incredible people. thank u for liking my stupid rambling posts from 3am and my silly little ficlets and for reading my stories and telling me about your stories and saving me from the Frankfurt airport and yelling with me about stuff thats definitely not in the Bible and sharing your time and space and art and care.

@bigalockwood @hergrandplan @gulliblelemon @saynomorefic @pagegirlintraining @skibasyndrome @sobadbad @impossibleknots @piebingo @theaviatorthatcouldnotfly @misfithive @sillylittleflower @zee-has-commitment-issues @purplehoodiesandclementines @justfriendsbestthings

giving u a big hug. and! this is by no means an exhaustive list. if ur reading this we are bffs. send me a message ok? ok. y'all keep me sane and happy and i am so grateful for you! live love wilmon

[magebastard]

when i’ve slept so soft against her

ship: neve gallus x rook ‘tula’ ingellvar

wc: 791

rating: g

notes: gay thoughts wouldn’t leave my gay brain

Neve realizes, eventually.

An understated gold ring on her middle finger becomes, three on her right hand. A subtle jeweled earring—too ornate, too fine to wear on the job—dangles from her left ear. She’s acquired a small collection of thin, gold bracelets.

(“They won’t jingle. If you ever want to wear them while you’re out on a case.”)

She has. A few times.

They’ve collected kisses and precious trinkets alike since that late afternoon at the docks. Tula isn’t versed in flirtation, only a wind-chilled honesty. It all sprouts like mint—the attachment, the fondness. What’s worse; this thing between them doesn’t feel a thing like the heady romances Neve is used to. There are no midnight trysts under the mage lights in Dock Town. There’s no dark mystery of a person to crack. It’s a dangerous unknown.

Tula throws herself like a blanket over the flames of Neve’s doubt. She’s honest because she cannot help it. It touches the bruise of Neve’s heart when she explains—lectures on—all of the reasons why it makes sense for them to be together.

“You’re a detective, I’m a scholar. We have a shared passion for understanding.”

“You love bad coffee, and I am uniquely horrible at making it. I can provide a valuable service.”

“You have the most beautiful eyes I’ve ever seen, and I’m a great admirer of beautiful things. We’re very clearly two halves of a whole.”

“If we’re having an academic discussion about size and softness, it’s obvious to me that your hands and mine are remarkably suited to hold one another.”

The debates are weak and only growing weaker as they carry on. Rook makes a compelling argument.

And when the gifts start…

Wordlessly she slides a thin golden band up to rest just above Neve’s knuckle. There’s no fuss or explanation. The detective in her cows at the fear of discovering why, so suddenly, Tula decided to give her this. But her own hands are bejeweled so haphazardly. Must be a Nevarran thing.

She’ll go with that.

Softly, softly steady hands gently adorn her in discreet, complimentary jewelry. Neve tuts.

It‘a all very sweet and exasperating. She could believe it entirely benign. If only it weren’t for her pesky propensity to put the pieces together.

“This is your grave dowry, isn’t it?”

Her dark eyes instantly betray her excitement.

“It was! The practice of Watchers hoarding gold is customary and—in my opinion—darling. It’s expected within the Mourn Watch but there are greater intentions for the wearer in death. At some point, I suppose I just-,” she stops short with a soft ‘hm’ as if only just realizing her own thoughts.

She gazes off for a moment. Tula will do this. Some errant idea will seize her, some undeniable fact will flit about, wisp-like in her mind and take her far from the conversation she was just a participant in. Neve is intimately familiar with both sides of this happening.

“I only wanted you to have them. I imagined you wearing them.”

Tula reaches for Neve’s hand and she gives it. They’re sat limbs akimbo, facing each other on Neve’s cot. They try not to think about the groaning effort of the wood beneath them.

“If it makes you uncomfortable-,”

“Not uncomfortable. I’m not much of a jewelry kind of girl, usually. An earring, at most. I’ve never thought to wear bracelets. I don’t tend to collect anything, save evidence. I don’t know if you’ve caught on—I have quite a case of tunnel vision when it comes to the job.” Her thumbs skate over Tula’s own set of rings. (Sparser, now.) “It’s a nice change.”

“They suit you.” Imploring fingers trace the thin chain resting in the dip between her collar bones. The soft touch, the chill of her skin sends a thrill up Neve’s spine. She wants to flatten her palm over that hand, pressing the print of the other woman firmly into her chest.

“It’s usually a practice for married couples. Parceling and sharing a dowry like this. I’m sorry. Again, I wasn’t-,”

“Trouble,” around a stone in her throat.

It was a mistake. A honest mistake. They haven’t been in the most reliable state of mind—neither of them have, since all of this began. And this is just one of many missteps they’ve taken so far. It isn’t even so terrible of a thing to forgive.

It was a silly mistake. No hidden meaning to be found. Tula wanted Neve to wear her jewelry and that itself was a sweet thing. It was enough and it still is. She desperately tries to catch the kite-string of her thoughts before they fly too far too fast.

I would share them. The rings, the bracelets. Say we’ll stay. Prove me wrong.

Neve loosens only one ring on her index finger, gently pulls the hand from her neck and presses it, reluctantly into Rook’s open palm. She swallows.

“No harm done.”

[dirtgrubber]

it feels good. it feels right.

@morningstarwrites thankyou for this weeks chapter. i’m not crying… You’re crying

[peachybun-bun]

Actual footage of me racing to read this at 7 am.

I’ll put my spoilers under a read more cause damn baby, my beautiful V, you ate. I want more self indulgent content from you.

Just hope you heard the cheers from me in the air when you opened with Jeonghan. In my my head I knew where we were going without reading the warnings. I was so happy.

I LOVE each man having their own nickname for the reader too. It’s so cute. Then the pool scene?! I was squealing.

Her finally asking Joshua for the threesome! Not breathing anymore. Him watching Jeonghan fuck her? Deceased. Jeonghan not letting her touch?! Ahhhhh then the spanking. The evil twins are too much in bed. I want more. I crave it.

But then V!!!!! When she said it was just sex I almost choked. I literally had a no girl no moment. Then he got up! You better chase after him. I was Shua telling her to fix it lol. I can’t WAIT for the next series and to see what you bless us with.

My favorite New York Times bestseller

badsleeper | city lights series

✮ pairings: joshua hong x female reader x yoon jeonghan ✮ genre: a tiny bit of fluff and angst, smut (18+) ✮ aus: rock singer joshua, boyfriend joshua, best friend jeonghan, friends to fucking ✮ word count: 24.5k

🎧: step? – bibi | say nothing – yugyeom ft. leehi | nvrmnd – soulbysel ft i.m | bonnie & clyde – dean

→ previous chapters – read more – playlist

› nsfw warnings under the cut

✮ warnings: smut with plot, alcohol consumption (no dub con), threesome, no cheating, another obnoxiously long sex scene, dom joshua, dom jeonghan, brat reader, foul language, a bit of praise/degradation kink, dirty talk, voyeurism, oral sex (m, f), rough bj, cumeating, cumplay, unprotected p in v sex, jealousy, possessiveness, manhandling, tag teaming, rough sex, doggy style, dumbification, near religious experience during sex, crymaxing, use of butt plugs, anal sex, double penetration, aftercare. brat taming: spanking, light bondage. pet names: baby, princess, bunny (hers) babe, baby, baby boy, handsome (joshua's) ✮ a/n: hiii! to preface this i'd like to let you all know that this chapter is canon to the series. and also this is a little self indulgent thing i've been planning for months (literally this draft has been collecting dust since december 2023) so.... i hope y'all indulge with me ε('｡•᎑•`)っ💖 ✮ a/n ii: there's a weird time jump in the middle of the chapter but.... i hit text block limit again and didn't want to split this chapter ✮ disclaimer: minors dni this post is intended for 18+ readers. please have your age stated in your description and try not to look like a bot please 🙂.

part ix — finale

"It pains me to say this but, this is not going to work."

An elderly woman standing nearby glanced at you and the tall, handsome man before you. A surprised look on her face upon overhearing him announce such a thing in the middle of an airport.

Jeonghan broke in laughter before you could formulate a response. You rolled your eyes and pushed his shoulder with one hand.

"Very funny," you mumbled embarrassedly.

"Ah, come on, princess, have a little fun," he teased, a smile that only foretold his upcoming playfulness. "Aren't you going to miss me?"

"You'll be gone for a week. I'll survive," you rolled your eyes, arms crossing on your chest. "Maybe I'll miss you a little."

"Well, I won't," he laughed cheekily before continuing on his little act, raising his two hands, palms exposed to you in a gesture of finalization: "I am tired of babysitting you. You're awfully corny and overbearing all the time and I need a break. It's time that we saw different people."

You could tell he was acting, but something about him doing it with such ease made you pause. "Hannie, do you actually think that about me?" you asked, your voice dropping drastically.

Jeonghan's smile dropped, his lips pouting as he spoke: "Of course not, why would you believe that I'd think that?"

You instantly composed into a bright smile. "I'm playing with you," you chirped.

"Tsk, you little rascal," he scoffed, swiftly wrapping an arm around your head. "C'mere," he muttered as he ran his knuckles on the crown of your head.

"Stop it," you hissed, trying to get him to stop hugging your head to breathe.

"Okay, okay. I have to go now," he said, releasing his hold on you to take a look at his watch.

"Have fun on your trip, Jeonghan," you smiled at him, debating whether to hug him goodbye or not. You knew he wasn't big on hugs or gestures of affection, but you couldn't fight the impulse of opening your arms to him.

He paused for one second before taking you in for a quick hug, using his hand to ruffle your hair once again with. "Right," he muttered awkwardly and shifted the weight on the bag hanging on his shoulder.

Jeonghan began to turn away, and you almost wanted to let him walk further but you quickly called. "Aren't you forgetting something?"

He stopped in his tracks, turned, and walked right back to you, fishing something out of the pockets of his black sweats. He grabbed the key to his car from the ring with his fingers, dangling them in front of your eyes.

You reached out to get the key, but he quickly snatched it away before getting it on your grasp.

"You get one scratch on it and it's over for you," he muttered dead serious, eyes locking with yours, he had to tilt his head forward to do so.

"What are you going to do?" you challenged, holding his gaze.

You could tell that he wasn't expecting that, a smirk appeared on his lips. "I'll make you pay for it in some way or form," he shrugged.

"Don't worry I'll take care of it," you said with ease.

"Are you sure, though?" he said, still holding the key to his car up in the air and out of your grasp, he teased nodding his head at you: "Let me see your permit again."

"Jeonghan, you need to go now or you're going to miss your flight," you rolled your eyes.

"Fine," he said, lowering his arm for you to grab the key, but quickly snatched it again. "No eating in my car. And don't have your boyfriend fuck you in there, trust me, I'll know."

"Jeonghan!" you squealed dramatically and looked around you to make sure no one overheard him.

However the man in front of you laughed at you with amusement, his nose wrinkling, mouth opened wide as he did so. But he finally handed you the key to his car.

"One scratch," he lifted one finger at you as a stern warning, but the smiling features of his face betrayed him. He patted your head one more time, turning away as he said. "Try not to miss me too much, princess."

Something deep within you twisted in nervousness, so hard that it robbed you of speech. You wished that you had recovered fast enough to tell him something, anything. But by then, Jeonghan had already disappeared in the sea of people, you couldn't even spot him by the yellow hoodie he was wearing. His favorite one.

With some reluctance, you turned to walk out and towards the spot Jeonghan had parked his flashy and elegant car. In some way the black BMW M3 screamed rich guy with a very expensive taste. At first glance even, anyone would think it's a car for someone serious, not the friend that has the comedic skill of a clown.

But as you slid yourself into the driver's seat, a deep sense of alarm and nervousness kicked right in. Releasing a shaky sigh, you gathered your hair in a ponytail, securing it with a pink scrunchie; somehow having your hair out of the way made you feel focused.

It had been a while since you drove a car. Reminiscing on the very old skill you acquired during your college days, you adjusted the seat so that your arms could reach the steering wheel without stretching your arms too much. Then you did the same for the mirrors, catching the anxious expression on your face.

But despite your self-consciousness, you arrived home safe. As a celebratory act you untied your hair, leaving your scrunchie behind, perhaps forgotten in Jeonghan's car with your many other lost scrunchies.

Deeply compelling, bloody, and sexy.

Those were the words swimming around most of the early reviews of your book. For better or worse, the popularity of your book had risen quite dramatically even days before its official release, so you kind of had to brace yourself for all kinds of chatter around it.

You had to refrain yourself from seeing reviews so early, since you didn't want to be influenced while working on the draft for the second book in the trilogy.

So needless to say, your book is doing fine.

Stepping out of the elevator and into the hallway that led into your apartment, you noticed quickly that the door next to yours was open. A tight, flashing pain crossed your heart when you understood that someone was viewing Joshua's old apartment.

It was inevitable that you would get new neighbors, and it seemed funny for a second to you that you were stuck with grief for the time when Joshua was just thirty seconds away from you.

Joshua was still away. He left the following day of your book release, only after pampering you with love, and anything that you requested. He would only be away for a few more days to finish recording Midnight Haze's first studio album, and then he'd be back, though for how long he didn't know yet.

Back in your apartment, you went directly to your bedroom, opened the drawers of your dresser and started to move your stuff to make space for Joshua's clothes. Subconsciously, you started threading on the intricate details that you needed to get done for the second book draft. Since there was nothing better you could occupy your mind with, that could actually put you to work.

But your thoughts inevitably drifted away as you cleared one of the drawers for your boyfriend's stuff. Then, you found yourself thinking of him, of the time he was here last; he made you breakfast before you woke up, you found him munching on some blueberries as he served you a plate of french toast.

Joshua had been keeping his promise, getting your texts back and calling you every night before he goes to bed; he does this last thing even though you might not share the same time zones—he knows that you'll be awake.

Sleeping alone resulted even more difficult, now that your body has had a taste of what it feels like sleeping in the warmth of your boyfriend's loving embrace. Even though you haven't shared that many nights with him as an actual couple, it was something you wished you had more of.

"All I'm saying is that food tastes better with a recently cleaned mouth."

"That's psycho behavior," you replied, rolling your eyes to the ceiling, while holding your phone to your ear.

"Oh, so you're saying that you never wash your mouth, got it," Jeonghan said jokingly, he had been going for what felt like hours.

"No, you're saying that orange juice tastes better after brushing your teeth!" you squealed, huffing loudly when you heard his mocking chuckle of his.

"I'm just teasing you," he mumbled.

"I know, I hate it," you said, but there was a smile on your face.

You heard the loud slurping noises as Jeonghan ate noodles. "Shouldn't you be asleep right now, by the way?" he asked and you could tell that his mouth was full.

"Can't sleep," you muttered as you scrolled through the draft to your second book. "I have a ton of work to do."

"Wait, you're working? Isn't it like... three in the morning right now?"

You hated that you could almost picture him raising his wrist to check out his smartwatch.

“Yeah, it is,” you mumbled aloofly as you skimmed through one of the monitors of your computer. 

“God, you are a workaholic,” he tutted. “Don’t you ever take a break?” 

“I do whenever I submit a draft,” you mused, smiling to the irony. 

“You should be resting,” he insisted. “You know, the hotel where I’m staying right now is very nice and it’s not as expensive as I thought it would be…”

Something caught your eye when you opened up your emails tab. “Oh,” you uttered when your eyes went over the mail. 

“What?” you heard Jeonghan reply. “I’m just saying that you and Joshua could come together, you know, you both deserve a break from work.”

You paused, focusing on the contents of the email that you received hours ago, but neglected since you were preoccupied with drafting the second book. “Oh,” you gasped. 

“Hello?” Jeonghan said after a few seconds. “Did I say something wrong?” 

“No, not at all,” you laughed in utter bewilderment. 

“I am very confused,” he confessed. “What’s going on?”

“I am being nominated for an award,” you gasped. “Well, not me, but my book.” 

“Same thing,” he replied. “That’s exciting news, princess. Did you find out just now?”

“Yeah! I’m just reading the email right now,” you laughed with incredulous joy. 

“See? That’s something to celebrate,” he insisted. “Another reason why you should take a break.”

“Or it is another reason to keep working so the second book meets the readers’ expectations,” you countered with a mad rush in your brain, pushing you to sit through more hours of typing. 

“You are so annoying,” Jeonghan said, but you knew by the tone in his voice that he was smiling. “Listen, I booked a tour and it’s just about to start so, call you later?” 

“Yeah, sure,” you blinked back to reality. “Enjoy your tour, Jeongjeong.”

“Thank you.”

“Oh, wait!” you squealed. 

“Yeah?” he waited. 

“I forgot to ask you,” you sighed embarrassedly, bringing your palm to your forehead with a smack. “Joshua is arriving in a few hours and I wanted to ask you if I could borrow your car.” 

There was a pause, and you almost decided to take it back and tell him that you could take a taxi there. 

“Of course, princess,” he replied. “You don’t have to ask.”

“Sure?” 

“Just remember, no scratches and no fucking in my car,” he giggled deviously when you squealed out his name.

The line went dead after that. 

You took part of Jeonghan’s advice, shutting the computer off and deciding to go to bed and attempt to sleep again. 

The pink scrunchie was sitting around the rear mirror of Jeonghan's car when you slid yourself into the driver's seat. Letting out a big puff of air, you gathered your hair all in a ponytail, securing it with the scrunchie and then started the car. 

You were extremely nervous. And not because you were driving the most expensive thing you had ever touched in your life. But because Joshua was finally coming home from the tour. It felt like he had gone for so long it seemed ridiculous to you that only 4 weeks and a half had passed. 

It was the reason why you left your apartment with ample time to get to the airport on time and also to drive at a very slow pace, you were simply too nervous to go in the middle lane. 

Maybe you were, in fact, an old lady. At least in spirit, as Jeonghan would say.  

You remembered the fact that not only Jeonghan had called you that, but also Joshua called you something similar once, a long time ago it felt like. You thought about how similar your boyfriend and his best friend were in some aspects in relation to their personality. 

It seemed obvious that the similarities would make them friends. But sometimes, it felt too eerie to be just a coincidental case of telling the same jokes. 

When you got to the airport, you still had about half an hour to kill yet. And you were grateful that you had brought a book with your person. To kill time and to occupy your brain with something other than work. Or Joshua. Or Jeonghan. 

So you sat back comfortably on the driver's seat. Getting the faint smell of Jeonghan's cologne, and even if you dared to admit it, you got a vague smell of the flavor of vape that he really likes. The green apple one. 

You shook your head slightly, trying to regain focus on the words printed on the book you were holding against the steering wheel. 

You thought about the soft leather coating the steering wheel, how it was so new that it still had that brand new smell to it. Probably why Jeonghan is so overbearing about his car, is because it's so expensive and new that he wants absolutely nothing to taint it, such as eating on its leather seats. Or fucking.

You sighed in complete resignation, dropping your book back into your bag and opened the door. You stepped out of the black car, getting an odd look from a man that was passing by. 

"Huh," you huffed to yourself. Stepping out of a luxurious car really gave you a sense of dominance, and you found out you liked it. 

You locked the car and walked to the big doors of the vast airport. Being welcomed with buzzing noise and a ton of people walking around, some hurriedly, some laid back. 

You checked out your phone in the hopes of having a text from Joshua, but you knew it was nearly futile. He was still in the air, so that meant he was using that time to get some sleep. 

"Mmm," you hummed, pursing your lips and looking around to decide what to do in order to kill the time. And to think of something that wasn't fucking in a car. So you decided to get in line for an obnoxiously expensive cup of coffee and decided to get a cookie with it too. 

You knew that your lack of focus was partly due to your bad sleeping habits. But you were also so nervous about Joshua coming home that your brain struggled to put your thoughts in order. 

A quarter of an hour passed by at a slug's pace. Joshua texted you simply one word, "Landed." 

you: I'll meet you here 🙂  Josh ♡: you're here at the airport baby?  you: I am 

Joshua stopped texting and you assumed that he had to pick up his luggage. So you rose to your feet, keeping yourself on the lookout for the face you were dying to see. 

But the place was swarming with dozens of different faces, it was hard to keep up, and due to your lack of focus it was a bit more difficult to be fast and discern strangers. 

A tall man of ashy blond hair drew your attention instinctively, raising some alarm in your sluggish brain that you knew him. It took you seconds, seeing the guitar case on one hand, his duffel bag strapped to his shoulder to understand that Joshua was walking towards you, a shy bur fond smile painted on his face. 

He must have seen the surprise in your facial expression, because his eyes lit up. "Hi bunny," he muttered. 

You simply just threw your arms around his neck, standing on your tiptoes to clash your lips against his. "Josh…" 

"Baby," he giggled when you pressed your lips repeatedly against his lips, cheeks and the tip of his nose.

"Missed you," you mumbled, forgetting that you were in a very public space with tons of eyes watching you shower your boyfriend with kisses. 

"I missed you too, bunny," he sighed, the arm around you tightening its grip, bringing you closer to him. 

"Let's go home," your tone quivered slightly. 

"I love the sound of that," he said, his glinting eyes smiling at you. 

"Come on," you grabbed his hand and pulled him to the exit. 

"Hold on. Should we grab a taxi or…"

"Don't worry, I got it," you smiled anxiously, fishing out the keys to Jeonghan's car and displaying them in your hand. 

"What's this?" he asked and immediately added: "You got a car?"

"No, silly," you giggled sweetly. "It's Jeonghan's."

He sent you an bewildered look. "He left his car with you?" 

"Yeah, he lets me use it while he's not here," you shrugged with ease. "Come on, baby boy. I'm driving."

Joshua smiled with a fondness you recognized he expressed whenever he found you cute. But he fell in step with you, lacing your fingers with his as you walked out of the airport and to the parking lot. 

"This is exciting," he said once he closed the door to the passenger's seat.

"Put your seatbelt on," you told him, sending him a shameful glance. "Please."

Joshua let out a soft giggle. "Sure thing, ma'am." 

"Don't call me ma'am," you said with a whiny tone in frustration. 

"Okay," he whispered, and you saw his downturned smile, he was trying not to laugh. 

"And try your best not to distract me," you requested firmly as you gathered your hair in a ponytail. 

"How would I distract you?" he asked with genuine curiosity in his tone. 

"You just do," you mumbled, reaching out to brush his long hair with your fingers. 

"Do you like it?" he cocked his blond hair forward slightly, letting you thread the pads of your fingers through his new hair. 

"I do," you admitted. "Though I think I'd even like you bald."

Joshua chuckled sweetly, lifting his chin to you as he said. "Don't tempt me."

"Would you do it?" you asked, seeing the devious glint in his eyes. 

"Maybe time will do it for me, but yeah. If you wanted me," he said, but there was a hollow tone in his words, his gaze was focused on your eyes, and then it moved to your lips.

His long fingers cupped your chin gently and his eyes, briefly finding yours before he leaned forward to lock his lips with yours, his breath hitching audibly as you moaned when his tongue traced a line on your lower lip. 

"See, you're distracting," you mumbled, before diving in for a deeper kiss, demanding more, trying to make up for lost time. 

"Sorry, baby," he giggled and braced himself for a slap that you delivered on his shoulder. 

"Put your seatbelt on," you hissed, settling back to the seat and starting the car. 

"Yes, ma'am," Joshua breathed out, putting his seatbelt on as you drove out of the parking lot and into the highway.

Despite Joshua being on a short break, he still had a lot of things to tend to. Primarily, visiting his family, his mom and spending some quality time with them. Secondly, he gathered his stuff to bring into your apartment, thus finally moving in with you. Between the move, and him catching up with his life back home, he barely had time to spend with you.

Three days after Joshua arrived home, and deciding that a very long weekend's rest was sorely deserved, you and Joshua boarded a plane, also partly convinced by Jeonghan to go on vacation where he was located at the moment. 

One thing led to another and you were now resting on a beautiful suite, after a long night of traveling with your boyfriend, boarding planes and getting little to no sleep during the flight.

So you were slowly awakened by the gentle sound of waves crashing against the distant shore outside the hotel windows. When you opened your eyes, you were greeted by the brightness of the white room, the curtains opened to let in the pale morning light.

As you lay face down in the large bed covered with white sheets, plush pillows, and duvet, you blindly reached out one arm to find both sides cold. So you turned your head to try to get a view of the room around you.

"Josh?" you called, even though you were aware that you weren't getting a response.

Your phone was left abandoned on the bedside table, but the bed was so large and you were slotted right in the center of it, and being so that you were still drowsy from the very long sleep, you didn't feel like moving yet. So you closed your eyes again, letting yourself drift back into a dream with a deep sigh. 

When you woke up again, feeling ready to roll out of bed, you realized that you wouldn't be able to reach Joshua on his phone, since he had left it beside yours, much as if he had preemptively left it behind so he wouldn't have to worry about getting more calls, more messages.

Fighting your way out of the tucked bed sheets, you decided to get a shower to wash away the last slivers of drowsiness that still wanted to cling onto your body.

So you were returning to the bedroom, drying your hair absentmindedly while checking your phone when you heard Joshua return to the suite quietly, probably assuming that he would find you asleep.

But upon seeing you sitting at the foot of the bed, he paused for a second.

"Morning," you muttered dryly.

"Hi baby," he replied with a puffy sigh.

Joshua was covered in sweat, making his ashy blond hair stick to the sides of his face and forehead. He was breathing tiredly, tongue hanging in a gesture of exhaustion.

"Went for a run," he commented in passing, kicking his trainers off. "The weather is nice, it's really hot."

His arms arched back to grab at the hem of his sleeveless tee, yanking it off his body with one move to toss it. Your boyfriend continued to peel his sweaty clothes off, revealing his body as he tossed more clothes on the armchair in the corner of the room.

"Do you have somewhere to be?" you asked slowly as you watched him walk off to the bathroom.

"Have to meet up with a potential manager," he called loudly as he started a shower. "Apparently he's taken an interest in us from a while back. And he's here so I thought it would be a good opportunity to meet up."

You nodded, pursing your lips in contempt as he walked back to toss his boxers with the rest of his dirty clothes.

"I'd ask you to join me in the shower but," he nodded at you.

"Yeah, don't worry about it," you raised from the bed to remove the bathrobe and start dressing up.

If Joshua noticed you were in a bad mood then, he made no comment about it. He just turned around, closing the door of the bathroom to continue with his shower.

You decided to busy yourself, dressing up extra slowly, pulling out from your luggage a lingerie set that you brought in the hopes of it being complimented, and a beautiful summer dress in a color that accentuated your body prettily.

Your boyfriend came back shortly, the lower half of his body after draped in a towel, skin glistening wet now but all clean. His ashy blond hair was pulled back now, dripping onto his neck.

"We could do something tonight," he muttered with some caution as he removed the towel from his body and started to get ready for his appointment.

"Yeah, I'd like that," you pressed your lips into a smile, but even as you did so, you felt unconvincing.

You were suddenly torn with your own reproach at him for barely even spending time with you and at the same time, you couldn't believe that what it took for you to be distracted away from that state of scorn was seeing him naked.

However, Joshua knew what he was playing at, he had you completely figured out. He opened one door to the closet, grabbing the first pair of briefs he found, using his body's motion as he turned to sneak a look at you, finding your gaze trained on his body.

"You're not mad at me anymore?" he asked, a slow smirk curving his pillowy lips.

"I was not mad," you replied with a small voice, sitting back on the foot of the bed.

"Mm, okay," he nodded with his head once, putting on the stretchy boxers with a swift move.

Then one of his knees sank on the edge of the bed, leaning his body forward, motioning your body back on the mattress. A low grunt escaped you as he was now pinning you with his own weight, your pretty sundress being pulled back on your thighs by a large hand.

"You are terrible at lying," he mused with a half smile, the studded eyebrow twitching up briefly. "Even moreso, you're terrible at keeping promises."

You let out a muffle whine when Joshua pressed his hips against yours, making you feel his growing bulge on your core.

"What are you talking about," you muttered, torn between paying attention to what his body was doing and his accusatory words.

"You promised you would tell me everything," he said darkly, but leaned his head sideways to reach your neck with his mouth, muttering against your skin: "You're mad at me, I can tell."

"Am not," you replied, fidgeting under his weight, hands clutching at his bare and stocky shoulders.

"Try again," he chuckled, pressing his lips and tongue on the sweet spot below your earlobe, sucking in a love bite, having a flash of arousal cross your body straight to your core.

"Fuck," your legs tensed up when he started to suck on your skin harsher. "Gentle, Joshua."

"Answer the question," he immediately retorted, nudging his nose on your jawline to lean your head back, so he could run the tip of his tongue on neck, littering it with kisses.

It was hard to focus now. But with a low gasp, you replied. "You are bad at keeping promises too," you stated weakly.

A hand snaked on top of your chest, fingers raking on your skin as he yanked the side part of the sundress to prop another merciless lovebite in a collarbone.

"You-you told me you would make time for me," you stammered, feeling stupid over your sudden loss of boldness.

"And I did," he said sharply, moving his head to look you in the eyes. "Baby, I've cleared my schedule for us tonight."

You pouted briefly, bringing up a finger to caress his beautiful lips.

"Now you, on the other hand, haven't replied to my question," he muttered, his words partly muffled by the fingers on his lips. He shifted his weight, propping one elbow beside you so he could grab your hand.

You dared to roll your eyes hard at him, but that in turn made him smile broadly at you.

"You're still mad at me, but that doesn't stop you from eyefucking me," a wolfish grin appeared on his beautiful face. "Are you wet right now, baby?"

Joshua pressed his lips against the pads of your fingers as his eyes looked at you fondly, amused by your torn behavior. You nodded with your head in affirmation, unable to bring yourself to speak the words.

"You've been neglecting me a little," you whispered, shifting your gaze to his collarbones to avoid his.

"How does it feel, baby?" Joshua asked, releasing your hand to stroke the side of your head, gently threading his long fingers through your wet hair.

"Is this some kind of punishment, then?" you snapped, feeling something click inside your brain.

"No, of course not," he leaned his head closer, pressing his lips flush against yours, slowly at first, repeatedly as he said. "But you told me, you promised me you would talk to me. I have to search for ways for you to do it."

"I just haven't had the chance to, we've both been busy," you retorted with a pained smile, trying to hold his gaze.

"You don't have any issues telling Jeonghan stuff."

"That's hurtful, Joshua," you muttered with a tiny voice, shrinking under his weight.

"Am I lying?"

"Joshua, he is my friend, friends tell each other things, is that bad?" you were applying pressure on his shoulders now, trying to make him budge.

"And I am your boyfriend," he blinked, as equally offended as you. "It's also hurtful that you trust him more than me."

"Is this because I didn't tell you about the award?" you finally caught on. 

Maybe you didn't care about the award, maybe you did. But the truth was, you simply forgot about telling your boyfriend about it and in passing, Jeonghan mentioned it in front of Joshua, in a manner of congratulating you for the milestone. 

Joshua retreated his body, rising up from the bed with an irked air around him, you saw the features of his face harden and he turned away. It was clear to you now that he was jealous and you almost felt stupid for not realizing it sooner.

"No," he replied nonchalantly as he fetched a denim shirt from the closet, putting it on and as he buttoned it up, he rasped: "Yes."

You shrugged slowly. "I found out when I was on the phone with him," you explained, though the feeling of guilt started to set in.

"Still, you didn't mention it to me."

You scrunched up your face in shame and guilt. He was right. You found out about the award days ago, and you failed to tell him about it, all because of your stupid lack of focus lately.

"I'm sorry," you said as you sat up on the bed again, fixing your dress. "I should've said something."

Joshua turned to find his jeans, putting on the ripped black denim in one go. He kept pensively quiet as he slipped on his chelsea boots and rose to his feet.

"I'll call you when I get off," he said, stepping closer to the foot of the bed to cup the back of your head with one hand, leaning down to kiss your forehead.

"Joshua..." you started, trying to reach for his hand to stop him leaving abruptly.

"It's okay," his gaze softened before his lips captured your own with a light kiss. "I'm not mad. I just wished you'd talked to me."

"And I wish that you could actually make time for me," you whispered, feeling your heart race under the stress of fighting with him.

"I know," he replied in the same fashion as you. "I know baby, I don't enjoy this either... I'm sorry too."

You nodded with your head, choking up on words that you thought of telling him as you waited before he got back to the hotel room. With a frustrated sob, you reached to cup the back of his head too, bringing him closer for a deep kiss.

"I love you," you whispered.

"I love you too, baby. I'll meet you later," he replied, pressing one final kiss to your lips and then your forehead before slipping from your grasp and walking out the room, thus leaving you alone again.

For what could amount to years, you have been really good at taking yourself out to dates. It had been so long since you dated that you were accustomed to being on your own, and you found out that you liked it. You relished in solitude.

You made yourself a mini trip. First you went to grab yourself some breakfast in a lovely restaurant with an outdoors table set with a nice view to the ocean. Then, you walked down the streets, sightseeing in the pretty places, going inside the stores that looked appealing until you reached a museum.

It had been within your plans to maybe go there with Joshua for a little date. Perhaps even, go to the beach together. But you swiftly put those ideas aside, realizing that due to the time crunch he was in it was probable that you weren't meeting him until sundown.

So you were strolling around the different pieces of art on display, fanning yourself with the brochure you were given upon entering the place. The hair on the back of your neck was sticking to your skin due to the sweat that trickled down your head during your walk there.

"I should've known I'd find you here."

You instantly spun on your feet to look back. Jeonghan was closing the distance between you, hands deep in the pockets of his shorts. Despite the weather outside, he was wearing a beanie, probably to cover up his messy long hair.

"What are you doing here?" you inquired with a shaky tone from the surprise of seeing him there. Of all the places, this is one you didn't think you would meet.

"I like museums," he shrugged, but then added: "They make up for great instagram photos."

He pressed his lips in the tiniest of smiles when you rolled your eyes, smirking at him as he finally walked up to you.

"Are you alone?" he asked, looking around the large room. "Where is your boyfriend?"

You saw it in his eyes that he already knew, but nodded when you only muttered. "Working."

"Trouble in paradise, again?" he mused, tilting his head to one side, reading your facial features expertly.

"It's nothing," you averted your gaze from him and onto the display you had in front of you.

But the deep feeling of remorse parking on the pit of your stomach was eating you up. You hated that you felt guilty about telling Jeonghan stuff about your relationship, you hated the fact that Joshua had brought it up.

"I don't know if this will work, Jeonghan," you whispered despite the tears threatening to break you.

"This?"

When you could finally look back at him, there was a frown on his face, the soft lines between his eyebrows deepening as he tried to figure you out.

Then you saw it when he connected your words together, he released the tension on his brow.

"Oh, don't be silly," he tried to smile, to see if you replied with one of your own but when you didn't, and you couldn't stop your lip from quivering, he sighed. "You're only saying that because you're scared. Talk it out with him."

"But we don't actually see each other, and when we do, we don't... talk much," you muttered shamefully, driving your gaze elsewhere and resumed your walk around the gallery.

"What are you actually worried about, then?" he fell into step closely behind you. "From my point of view, you seem like you're only mad that you're not spending time together like you used to."

"But," you blurted, turning around to face him again, making him stop in his walk abruptly before bumping into you. "Sorry."

"Don't be," he whispered, but there was something in his mannerism that made you pause. "But...?"

"It's nothing."

You flicked your hair off your sweaty neck, to keep fanning yourself with the brochure.

Jeonghan's eyes followed your movements with his eyes, inevitably spotting the red hickey below your earlobe that your boyfriend made before leaving the hotel room and a hot wave of embarrassment washed over your face, making you drop your gaze to the ground.

"Tell you what," he muttered, seemingly unaffected by the very toxic display of possessiveness. "Let's go grab a beer and something to eat. Forget about all of this, maybe that's what you really need."

You gathered the strength to look at his face again. Jeonghan pressed his lips in a cute smile, making tiny dimples show on his chin.

"Yeah, okay, I'd like that," you decided with a nod of your head.

"Let's go," he cocked his head in the direction of the museum's entrance and started to walk.

You followed him in silence, feeling uneasy still by Jeonghan seeing your hickeys for some reason you couldn't explain.

Your fingers dragged a large fry on a puddle of ketchup on your plate, you were conscious that your stomach was full, but you were in a mood in which you preferred to keep eating instead of talking about your feelings.

"Are you ordering more?" Jeonghan eyed the lonely fry sitting on the plate, and then your face as you munched silently.

"I don't think I can eat more," you admitted with a slurred speech.

"Tsk," he clicked his tongue with an amused smile.

Jeonghan raised his wrist, pulling his sleeve to uncover his smartwatch.

"D'you think Joshua is still in that meeting?" he asked with some caution to the look he sent you.

It had been hours since your last interaction with your boyfriend, his last text five hours ago read that his impromptu meeting was extending and that it was too important for his band to just cut it short or postpone.

"I think that he forgot about me," you replied bitterly, lifting the large jar which was half full of beer. "And I don't care if he did, I don't wanna think about him."

Worry flashed across Jeonghan's face but he quickly composed himself to ask for the bill and then he turned to you.

"What?" you blurted.

"Do you know how to play pool?"

"Nope," you replied in the same manner.

"Come on, I'll teach you," he pulled out a bill that would cover both of your meals and stood from the booth.

"What, wait," you stammered before grabbing your things and following him out the restaurant.

"Careful," he muttered when you caught up with him, drunk enough that you nearly stumbled against his frame. His hands came to your arms behind you to help you stabilize.

"Thank you, Jeongjeong," you muttered with a chuckle. "And for the food too. Next one's on me, alright?"

The weather had dropped dramatically, the skirt of your pretty summer dress rippled against the breeze that swept down the street.

"Don't worry about it," he said, the hair that wasn't secured by his beanie ruffled against his neck.

"Oh," you uttered when your phone suddenly started buzzing in your handbag.

But just as you were about to see what it was, Jeonghan was tugging your arm with his hand, pulling you aside on the sidewalk before you stomped against a lightpost. You yelped and staggered against his frame, a drunken laugh erupting out of you.

"Watch where you're going, princess," he chuckled, grabbing your arms to keep you on your feet.

"Sorry, sorry," you mumbled, raising your chin to meet his gaze.

You realized with a start just how close his face was with yours, your breath hitched audibly and you pulled back from him.

"Don't be," he said and turned to the door behind him, which you realized was the entrance to a bar. "After you."

You breathed out in utter embarrassment, thinking of saying something to him, maybe cut the outing and leave to the hotel room.

But Jeonghan smiled cutely at you, cocking his head towards the door, motioning you inside.

You walked into the buzzing of the bar, instantly being swept by the dark mood of its interior. Exposed brick walls, checkered sticky floors, dimly lit tables, the distant sounds of the pool tables in the back of the place.

"Come," Jeonghan muttered on your side, and you followed him closely through the wooden chairs and tables until you reached the rows of pool tables and found one that was vacant for you two.

Jeonghan ordered two beers and paid in advance. Turning to you with a mischievous look in his eyes.

"Hope you brought cash," he smirked, holding a bill between his pointer and middle finger to you as he set it on the bartop mounted on the wall behind you.

"My wallet cries every time I'm with you," you joked, settling your bag on the bartop and pulling out a bill to stamp it on top of his.

"Don't act like you don't enjoy this," he grabbed one of the cue sticks and handed it to you. "Ladies first."

"Don't you think it's unfair to place bets when I don't know how to play?" you inquired, tilting your head to one side.

Jeonghan grabbed the recently brought beer bottles, handed you one and then he raised his to you. "I'll go easy on you."

You clinked the neck of your beer with his. "I'll take your word for it, Yoon Jeonghan."

Jeonghan tipped the bottle between his smiling lips, drinking in with you.

"But first," he mused, pointing at your face with the top of his bottle. "You need to answer your phone."

You blinked in surprise and turned to the bartop to find your phone buzzing and Joshua's picture being displayed on the screen.

"Oh," you scrambled to get your phone and pressed on the green button. "Yes?"

"Baby? Where are you?" Joshua replied immediately. "I've been trying to reach you."

"I'm sorry, Josh, I... am at a bar," you frowned at your own wording, but tried to get it out as sober as possible.

"At a bar?" he inquired and you could almost see the bewildered expression on his face as his voice sounded. "By yourself?"

"I am wi-with Jeonghan," you rubbed your fingers on the bridge of your nose so hard your eyes watered. "I can send you the location so you can come join us."

"I thought tonight was just going to be me and you," he muttered but you could tell in his tone that he wasn't angry, just confused.

"And I thought that you had cleared your schedule for me," you bit back, however, anger flaring in your body, accelerating your heartbeat.

"I'm sorry, baby," he muttered, his voice dropping into a low rasp. "I thought it would be a short meeting but we got into contracting and planning and time just flew out of my hands."

You rolled your eyes, which were stinging with tears. "I'll send you the location, okay."

"Okay," he whispered.

And then you hung up.

"Is he coming?" Jeonghan called as he removed the pool rack gathering the balls.

"Yeah," you replied as you sent your location into the chat you shared with your boyfriend.

"Nice," he smiled briefly. "Come here, I'll teach you the rules."

You grabbed your cue pick and walked around the pool table where your best friend stood, hands busy holding his beer and pick. Jeonghan took a sip from his beer bottle, smacking his lips as he swallowed happily.

"Pay attention," he advised before starting to tell you the rules to playing pool.

It was a fairly simple game, though you couldn't help but feel your mind slipping away, from thoughts pertaining to your boyfriend, to the way that Jeonghan drank from the beer bottle, back to your boyfriend, to the way that Jeonghan grabbed the cue pick–

"Okay?" Jeonghan asked, his brown eyes roaming on your face, noticing without much effort that you had spaced out through the whole thing.

"Okay," you nodded with your head, cheeks blazing hot in utter shame.

"Okay, then," he decided with a nod of his head. "You do the break, princess."

Your breath hitched as you placed the cue pick awkwardly, avoiding Jeonghan's gaze but once you did look at him, he was biting his lip to avoid smiling at your clumsiness.

"Okay, another thing," he said, setting aside his cue pic and beer bottle and shuffling towards you. Jeonghan bent over beside you, his hands grabbing yours to set it on the pool table. "This is how you place your hand, see?" he turned his head to look at you.

You weren't looking at his hands on yours, however. You were completely absorbed by how close his body was to yours, how on edge the warmth of his body seemed to be putting you in.

"Yeah," you whispered when his eyes dropped to find your mouth.

"You need to keep it firm so your stroke doesn't waver," he explained, but the tone of his voice had dropped. "Understood?"

"Understood," you replied.

"And your arm back here will do all the work," he said, his hand coming up to touch your elbow. "I don't want you moving other parts of your body, got it?"

"I got it."

"Okay, now. Go," he stood up straight to go around the table on the opposite side to yours, coughing loudly as he always did to clear his throat.

"Ok," you whispered to yourself, your lip tucked behind your front teeth in concentration as you pulled your hand holding the cue pick back and motioned it forward with a thrust.

The stroke wasn't as half-bad as you had expected it to be. You stood back and watched the balls break their formation and roam on the pool table.

"Nice," Jeonghan praised with a nod of his head, tipping the beer bottle on his mouth briefly. "You got one ball in a pocket here," he pointed with his cue pick to one corner of the pool table.

"Oh, did I?" you perked up. "Which is it?"

"Solid. So I go for the stripes," he said, pulling his sleeves up, thus revealing his watch on one wrist, and on the other, something you immediately spotted as something familiar.

"Hey! That's my scrunchie!" you jumped and ran to the other side of the table to where he stood. "Give it back!"

Jeonghan raised his wrist in the air, stepping back. "It was in my car," he said with a low chuckle of his.

"It's mine!" you squealed, narrowing your eyes at him.

"Founders keepers, princess," he said in a mocking tone. "It's mine now."

"Jeonghan!" you jumped to reach his wrist, but he simply just stepped back.

"Back off," he muttered with a grin, and then he casted a look above your head. "Ah, Joshuji, you're here!"

Your breath caught in your throat and you twirled on your feet, Joshua walked through the rows of occupied tables, his frame obscured by the lack of lighting as opposed to the very bright lamp on top of the pool table you were standing by.

But upon seeing him, you couldn't help but feel your face being taken over by a big smile. You could tell that seeing you smiling at him had an effect on him, he replied with a smile on his own, leaning down to press his lips against yours. "Hi handsome," you mused.

"Hi beautiful," he replied warmly and turned to greet his best friend.

"We were just starting," Jeonghan said. "I'll go grab you a beer, hold on."

And without any preamble, he left straight to the bar, thus leaving you alone with your boyfriend. So you reluctantly moved your gaze to meet his, finding an apologetic expression on his face.

"Baby, I–,"

"How was your meeting?" you asked in a sweet tone, cutting off the sentence you knew he would say.

Joshua blinked. "Fine, it was fine," he frowned slightly. "We have a new manager."

"That's great!" you smiled at him and placed a hand on his shoulder. "I'm glad. I'm also glad you're here."

"You're not mad at me?" he inquired, seemingly thrown off by your attitude.

You sighed in resignation. "I'm not mad," you decided. "I just want us to have some fun tonight, okay?"

"Okay," he replied, pressing his lips into a tight smile. "Thank you, baby."

"Don't mention it," you stood on your tiptoes to reach his lips, giving him a brief kiss.

Jeonghan came back, offering Joshua a new bottle of beer. “Thanks, man,” Joshua smiled at him and then turned to you. “I didn’t know you liked to play.”

“This is my first time,” you grinned. “Jeongjeong was just teaching me how to play.”

“Wanna team up with her?” Jeonghan asked Joshua, a devious smile appearing on his lips. “Price of entry is five.”

“What? That doesn’t make sense,” you interjected, acting scandalized. “If he’s with me we count as one person.” 

“Fair enough,” Jeonghan shrugged. “You should know Joshua is terrible at this, by the way.”

You turned to look at your boyfriend, who just rolled his eyes. “Don’t listen to him, baby,” he said, placing a hand on your lower back as he looked at the pool table. “What are you?” 

“Stripes,” you mumbled. 

“Solid,” Jeonghan corrected. 

Joshua giggled, tipping his head back. “Oh, baby. You should stop betting against this guy.”

“It’s fun,” you shrugged, watching Jeonghan lean down on the table, his eyes set on his game as he calculated the direction, pointing the cue stick with a firm hand on the green surface of the table. 

And with a hard thrust, the point of the cue stick hit the white ball, sending two stripe balls to the edge of the table, one falling into a pocket. 

“Nice,” Jeonghan hissed with a satisfied smile, looking at the ball that almost made it to a pocket, thus possibly securing an easy game. 

“My turn,” you mumbled with a sigh, feeling shy now that you were being watched by your boyfriend. 

You analyzed the balls spread around on the table for a second. 

“Remember, the striped ones are mine,” Jeonghan said with a slight amusement to his tone. 

“I know!” you replied. 

So you bent over the table, taking your time to be certain that your hand was placed correctly on the table and the other secured the cue stick with firmness before you thrusted your arm forth, sending the white ball towards your target ball. 

“Oof, close, princess!” Jeonghan watched and his body swayed to the side as he put one arm around his cue and hugged it.

“Umn,” you pouted and looked over your shoulder to find Joshua. He was leaning back against the bar top, looking over you with a small smile on his beautiful face. 

“Want help?” he offered, pushing his body off the bar top and stepping closely behind you. 

“Yeah,” you breathed out some of your embarrassment. “I’m terrible at this.” 

“You’re learning, baby,” he offered you a kind smile. “Nobody is good at this at first try.”

"I was," Jeonghan protested, bent over the table, and smashed the end of his cue against the white ball, pushing the ball that was already on the edge. 

"No, you weren't," Joshua bit back at him, shaking his head, a hint of annoyance in his tone. But his gaze softened when he found your face again. "You need to add more impulse to your stroke, moving your hip forward."

You nodded slowly before bending over on the pool table, gripping your cue firmly on one hand and setting the end on the other. Joshua's hands came to aid the position of your body, the touch on your body sent a shot of arousal through your body, as though a bolt of lightning.

 Joshua leaned over on your side, his body really close to yours, his hands shifting your body. "When you move the cue to hit, make sure you put some weight on this side," he said, his hand clenching your hip over your pretty dress and moving it forward slightly. "Keep your aiming arm firm and your elbow straight, okay?" 

"Okay," you whispered, looking at his rosy and puffy lips.

Joshua noticed immediately, the shadow of a smile twitching on his lips before pulling his body back. "Go."

You wished you could say what happened in that moment, but it definitely aroused something deeply taunting within you. Bending over the pool table, you felt two sets of eyes on you.

Jeonghan stood at the other end of the table, his eyes trained on you. And you suddenly realized that his eyes were not on the game. He was looking at you. 

Casting a look over your shoulder. Joshua was also looking at you, his ashy blond head tilted to one side, his dark beautiful eyes wandering over your body, stopping to read your face, understanding what he saw in your warm cheeks, in your flustered face. 

A slow, knowing smile stretched on his lips. "Eyes on the table," he muttered before the moment stretched any longer. 

The game ended a moment later with Jeonghan collecting your money, a sly grin as he said: "We should do this again sometime." 

Despite having lost against him, you nodded. "I'd like that." 

You had enjoyed some part of playing pool, that being the times where you actually hit the balls into pockets and not when you were being sorely and evidently distracted by your boyfriend's hands and lips. 

Joshua laced his fingers with yours as you walked back to the hotel room together. Jeonghan was drawing from his vape pen deeply, going on for what felt like half a minute and letting out the puffy flavored air in your face. 

"Jeonghan!" you pushed his shoulder, making him cackle. 

"Well, tonight was fun," Jeonghan said as he stepped out of the elevator on his floor. "Have a nice night."

"You too, Hannie," Joshua said, encircling his arms behind you to press your body flush to his front as the elevator doors closed and you were alone. 

"Josh…" you carefully called when he pressed his lips on your shoulder over your dress, moving up to kiss the crook of your neck, and then under your earlobe. 

"Mmn?" he muttered, tightening his grip around you.

You bit your lower lip hard as you considered how to word out your next question. 

"Do you…" you asked but then he planted an open kiss on the red hickey on the curve of your neck, making you jump slightly and blurt out: "Have you ever had a threesome?" 

Joshua paused his kisses, he removed his arms from around your waist and made you turn to him. "Why?" he asked, his brow furrowing in intrigue. 

"Answer the question." 

The elevator arrived to the floor and you were left with the question in the air as your boyfriend practically dragged you into the hotel room, swiftly closing the door behind you. Joshua Hong had you figured out when he turned to you, taking to steps so that he was looking at your face, reading your reaction as he said:

"What are you suggesting, baby?" 

"Nothing," you breathed but a tiny smile betrayed you. 

"Tell me," he insisted, his voice dropping to a gentle mumble.

"I… was just thinking that," you started, but you realized that you didn't plan your words this far. So in a string of fast stammers you blurted: "You know, you've told me that you would accept to do it if I wanted to do it and I want to. Do it."

Joshua smiled, it was a downturned smile. "Do you want to have a threesome, bunny?" he mumbled, raising a hand to brush the back of his fingers down your cheek. 

"Yeah," you whispered, shuddering slightly when his fingers tangled on your hair on the back of your hair. You felt the hard muscle of his chiseled chest as you rubbed your hands up and down his torso. 

"What made you want it so suddenly?" he mused, but he knew you. He got you figured out the minute you posed the question. "Bending over the pool table got you horny? You saw how we were looking at you and you liked it. Is that right, baby?"

"Mm-huh," you breathed as his lips grazed yours with a feathery kiss. "I-it got me thinking."

"Oh, you insatiable little thing," he said, sighing a smile. "Do you want me to ask Jeonghan? Do you want him in bed with us?"

The question was so brutally crude that it had your breath catching on your throat, quite loudly. "Yeah," you breathed. "I… want you both to take turns with me." 

"Mmnn," he hummed as he kissed your lips repeatedly and you wished you could see his face, to get in insight as to what he was pondering between kisses.

But he just bent down, lifting you from the ground with his strong arms holding your legs to prop you on the bathroom marble sink with a low squeal in surprise from your part. Joshua's hands cradled the back of your head, fingers tangling on your hair as he pulled on it, making you angle your head back and give him access to kiss your neck.

Joshua moaned when your hands roamed all over his body, circling his shoulders and then to his back, feeling over his shirt the lines between the muscles of his toned back until you reached the hem of his black denim jeans. A smile breaking on his lips as he pressed kisses on your face when you dipped your hands beneath his clothes to feel his round butt. 

"What else?" he muttered breathily on your neck. "What do you want, baby?" 

A moan coiled in your throat when his lips reached your throat, and you were almost amazed that your boyfriend appeared to be considering your crazy proposition.  "I want you to watch him fuck me," you blurted breathily. "I want you both inside me too."

Joshua sighed and you knew he was smiling on your neck. "Baby, are you serious?" he asked, pulling his head back to read your face.

There was a fascinated glint in his eyes, the small smile crowning his lips, Joshua was amused. "Yeah, I'm serious," you smiled with embarrassment. "I want this."

Your boyfriend considered your words for a brief moment, but to you it felt like forever. Your heartbeat strummed hard against your chest as he leaned over, pressing a kiss on your cheek. "Do you remember how to prep yourself, baby?" he asked, his voice barely above a mutter.

Your hands were still holding onto his shoulders, fists clenching on the fabric of his denim shirt when you understood what those words meant. "Yeah," you replied after swallowing hard.

Joshua pulled away from your neck, his lips traveling to your cheek, pressing tender kisses. "I'll talk to him, meanwhile you go get cleaned up," he said, breath fanning against your ear, making you shudder slightly.

"Okay," you nodded, turning your face to press your lips against his own.

Your boyfriend paused, the corners of his mouth twitching slightly as his big brown eyes scanned your face. "Are you nervous?" he asked, his voice still strained and you, when you nodded with your head, understood that he was nervous too.

"I am," you admitted with a small giggle that made Joshua show you a smile, crushing your heart over the beauty of his face. You encircled your arms around his neck. "But I want to do this."

"I know," he replied, the studded eyebrow twitching up. "Don't think I've forgotten about the filthy porn you wrote in your book."

Joshua's smile only widened when your laugh echoed on the tiled walls of the bathroom. "Shuddup," you gasped embarrassedly

"If it makes you feel better, I'm nervous too," he admitted, his gaze softening and the smile reducing into a mere small curve of his pretty lips.

"Why? You've done this before," you frowned in confusion.

His hand cupped your chin, looking at you with so much love in his eyes that you felt your heart quiver. "Yeah, but this is the first time it's with someone I love," he confessed, the weight of his words so heavy that his voice was merely a whisper.

"Do you want to do this, Joshua?" you asked, reading the features of his face to pick up any signs of reluctance. "If you don't want to do this, it's okay, baby. I won't mind."

"I do. I want to do this," he replied not a second later. "It's just that... this is new to me too."

You could've sworn that the love and adoration blooming in your heart showed in your face, his dark eyes lit up and the corners of his mouth twitched up slightly.

"What?" he asked.

"You're cute," you giggled, pressing your forehead against his. "And I love you so much."

The tiniest of groans left his mouth before you met his lips with yours. "I love you too, baby," he replied with a smile that you felt in your mouth. "So much."

With a brief open kiss, he peeled his body off of yours and turned to start the shower for you. He flashed you a smile and pressed his lips to yours before heading out of the bathroom, leaving you in privacy to get on with preparing yourself.

You threw a quick glance around as you came back to the bedroom, your body wrapped in a hotel bathrobe. You were deciding on what to wear as you heard the click to the door, your stomach dropped and you twisted to see that it was only Joshua coming in.

"You startled me," you breathed out with a sheepish smile as you watched him walk to you.

"Sorry, baby," he pressed his lips in a smile before grabbing you, wrapping an arm around your waist. "Jeonghan will be joining us shortly."

"Oh," you sighed, your body suddenly burning with anticipation.

"Are you ready?" he looked at your body, and smiled upon seeing the bathrobe. "I thought you'd be wearing something else."

"I just came out of the shower," you mumbled awkwardly. "I honestly don't know what to wear."

"Wear nothing," he showed you a downturned smile but when he saw your expression again he shrugged. "Wear something comfortable. I will."

Joshua turned away to get undressed himself, sending you meaningful glances when you discarded the bathrobe, the corners of his beautiful lips curving slightly as he watched you rummage in your bag for clean panties to wear.

"What did you tell him?" you inquired as you gathered what you wanted to wear for the occasion.

"Just that we wanted to have a threesome, and that I told you that he would be up for it," he replied, still looking at you with half-lidded eyes. "I'll text him when you're ready."

"I need to know how the conversation happened," you said with a shaky tone, and you smiled embarrassedly at your own jumpiness.

"I told him just that, baby," he chuckled, his eyes turning into half moons.

"Did you tell him about..." you looked upwards in embarrassment. "About what I want?"

"That," he started, sending you a look with a smirk. "Is something I'll leave to you."

"Josh!" you squealed, and he giggled sweetly. "I thought you would tell him!"

"I think that is something that you should tell him, baby. There's nothing wrong with voicing out your wants and needs," he said with the most natural air about him.

You groaned in frustration, only making him giggle again.

"Baby, Jeonghan and I have done this before," he explained with seriousness now. "You don't have to worry, he'll probably accept whatever you want us to do."

"Mmph," you stood there, clothes folded in your arms as you kept your thoughts to yourself.

"Ready, bunny?" he asked, driving you away from your train of thought. He had lost his black denim jeans and the shirt, now wearing a black tank top and gray shorts.

In his hand, you saw that he had brought out from his luggage two things, the training plugs that he got for you and a bottle of lube, you nodded.

"Yeah," you breathed out, placing your clothes at the foot of the bed. "How do you want me?" you asked, overly conscious of how lewd you sounded.

"Sit on the bed first," he instructed, biting his lower lip, a darkened gaze roaming all over you as you sat in front of him. A hand came to cup your chin, his long fingers grazing your jawline. "Come here," he whispered before he leaned down to kiss you, his wet lips capturing your own with a low grunt from him.

You raised your arms to encircle his neck, your fingers reaching his ashy blond hair as you kissed him back. "You're so hot," you whispered.

Joshua hummed in your lips, and you felt how the corners lifted in a smile. "Ditto," he said with a low grunt as he kissed you again. "So fucking hot, everyone had their eyes on you."

"Oh, don't lie," you chuckled.

"I'm serious," he mumbled, the tip of his tongue sliding on top of your lower lip. "That dress you wore tonight..."

"What about it?" you breathed as his lips continued to press on yours, his hands coming down to sink in the duvet, leaning forward so that you could lie down, his body hovering on top of yours.

"It was... you looked so hot in it," he replied almost aloofly, kissing your chin, then trailing down to your neck until he reached your breasts. "You sexy little thing, you don't know the effect you have on people. On me."

That made you laugh, the sweet sound making him raise his eyes to meet yours.

"It's just a dress," you mumbled meekly. "But I can wear it again some time, just for you."

Joshua smirked before leaning closer to wrap his lips around your nipple, teasing it with his tongue. "I'd love that, baby," he replied.

A moan coiled in your throat when he moved his mouth to tease your other nipple. It was short-lived though, sitting back on his knees, he patted you with his hand.

"Turn over, bunny," he instructed.

You rolled over, feeling the bed shift at your sides. You lifted your head to find him leaning over to prop a kiss in your shoulder blade, knowing how sensitive you were in that area.

"Remember how to do this?" he whispered, his lips trailing on the line of your back, making you squirm slightly.

"Ye-yeah I do," you stammered, fist clenching on the white duvet.

"Ass up, baby," he patted one of your buttcheeks with his hand and you immediately pushed yourself onto your knees, elbows flatly on the bed.

"Good girl."

You licked your lips before sinking your teeth down on your lower, focusing on relaxing. The noise behind you was distracting, turning your head to see what it was you saw him spreading lube on his fingers.

He sent you a look as he rubbed his fingers together briefly, setting the bottle aside to plant his hand on your lower back. The pads of his lubed fingers pushed on your hole, and you immediately turned your face on the duvet.

"You're okay?" he asked upon seeing your reaction.

"Keep going," you muttered, closing your eyes to focus on his fingers pushing on you, spreading them open ever so slightly, making you moan deliriously. It was kind of insane to you that you could get aroused with so little.

"So wet," he whispered, probably seeing your juices gathering in your pussy. His fingers spread a little more, causing your body to contort and a little more when the hard tip of the plug pushed in your hole. "How does it feel?"

"Alright," you replied, flinching dramatically when Joshua pushed the butt plug more, toying with it inside you.

He laughed breathily and patted you again. "That's my baby," he murmured. "Get ready, I'm telling Jeonghan to come over."

As you turned to fetch your panties, reality seemed to sink in: you were about to do something you haven't done before. And you were about to do it with your boyfriend and your best friend.

Joshua paced around the bedroom as he typed on his phone. You laid back on the pillows, deciding it was best to calm your jumpiness if you relaxed on the bed.

You had decided to wear one of his wide t-shirts, which was proving to be very comfortable pyjamas, and tried your best to calm your frantic heartbeat.

"He's here," Joshua said a moment later, walking over to open the door.

You sank down on the pillows, watching your boyfriend pace back to the bed, sitting down beside you to plan a kiss in your brow, probably seeing that you were still nervous about this.

Jeonghan walked into your view shortly after, hands deep in the pockets of his hoodie, almost as if he was carrying himself with a heaviness that only allowed him to move slowly, cautiously.

Oh, god. What do you say in situations like this? You wondered. What is Jeonghan thinking? Is he wondering, like you, how wildly your night changed for all of you?

"I'm here," he muttered, shrugging slightly.

Jeonghan was wary. You noticed that with a drop to your stomach. He was probably nervous about how your friendship would look like after this, just as you were.

So you sat on the bed slowly and crawled over to the foot of the king size bed, eyes set on the man that you had learned to confide in and trust. He was standing before the bed, frozen, mind reeling—you saw it in his eyes when you stood on your knees and his heavy gaze set on yours.

"Jeonghan," you called his name softly. "There's this... thing, a fantasy of sorts that I've been wanting to try out, and... there is no one else I'd rather try it out but you."

Confusion crossed his features ever so slightly, furrowing his brow, but his eyes never deterred from yours.

"Do you want to do this?" you mumbled to him. "You can walk away right now, and it'll be okay."

His lower lip parted a little and then his gaze shifted, eyes darkening. You got to know each other so well that you could see that he had his mind resolved in that moment. And it almost robbed the air out of your lungs to know with certainty—Yoon Jeonghan wanted you.

Jeonghan didn't ask for permission from the man behind you, and neither did you. A hand snaked to your waist, at the same time you pulled him by the collar of his hoodie, bringing him closer, his sweet eyes capturing yours, then your lips, then back to your eyes.

There was nothing to be said, just the exchange of glances before his lips touched yours. You held in a breath, tasting his in the process, just before his lips locked yours in the slowest, tenderest kiss.

His tongue caressed your lower lip slowly, pushing past it and played with your tongue briefly, your wet lips making a soft smacking sound when your friend pulled away.

In that moment, something clicked in your brain. Jeonghan had been burning to do this. He'd been burning to get a taste, a touch, to scratch the itch off his brain.

And you did too.

"Do you have a safeword, princess?" Jeonghan muttered in your mouth.

Your entire body became alight with anticipation and you breathed out your safeword.

"Before we do this," Jeonghan muttered, now sending a look to your boyfriend. "Is there anything I should know?"

You turned your gaze to Joshua, who was still lying in the same position. It made your stomach clench that he seemed almost unfazed, amused and... turned on.

"Like what?" Joshua asked, his studded eyebrow twitched. "We're both tested and clean, if that's what you're referring to."

His eyes locked on yours. "Is there anything off limits?"

You took a moment to breathe in, experiencing a very intense feeling of déjà vu. "Nothing is off limits, Jeonghan," you mumbled, using the hand still gripping his hoodie to bring him closer.

The last thing you saw was his half smile as you clashed your mouth against his, feeling his soft lips again, the warmth of his tongue on yours, making you moan in his mouth desperately needy. A burning wave rushed from your knees to your face, embarrassment coursing through you as you were now vulnerable at the eyes of your best friend.

But Jeonghan's hands slid beneath your oversized t-shirt and got to business without skipping a beat, almost as if he were in a rush or under time to get you under his touch.

With his thin fingers he caressed the line of your back, bundling up the t-shirt up to your armpits. You broke away from his lips to give him ample space to get rid of the oversized t-shirt, uncovering your bare breasts to his full view.

"Are you just gonna watch?"

Jeonghan blurted out the words without tearing his eyes from your body, much as if he were unable to, or as if he didn't want to look at your boyfriend.

"For now, yeah," Joshua emphasized.

"Why?" Jeonghan mumbled as his lips returned to your own, kissing you deeply this time. A hand came up to your side, tracing lines between your ribs with the pads of his fingers, making you squirm a little.

"I want princess to know what she's up for first," Joshua said with a slight tinge of amusement to his tone.

Jeonghan groaned when your hands slid under his hoodie, discovering that he wore nothing beneath it with a satisfied moan of your own.

Your fingers felt the muscles of his abdomen twitch upon your touch. And relishing at your discovery, your hands traveled from his tummy and up his chest, fingertips dancing on his soft skin.

His hands flew to seize your own and pulled back his head. "Umn, you're touchy," he grunted. "Tsk, we can't have that, princess."

You heard a soft sigh behind you. And you didn't need to look to know your boyfriend was smiling, probably enjoying the show of you discovering that your boyfriend's best friend is just as dominant as himself.

You tried to free your wrists from his grasp, but he didn't budge. Jeonghan bit his lower lip, a weak attempt to mask the smile that crept on his face.

"I want to see you, Hannie," you mumbled sheepishly. "It's only fair, right?"

Jeonghan pulled your hands out of his hoodie, shaking you a little when he used the control he had over you when he pulled you to his chest, planting a hard kiss on your mouth.

"Get on the table," he murmured in your mouth.

You gulped your nervousness down and nodded.

Climbing down from the high bed and walking over to the small table that served as a desk and turning to first sit your butt down and propped yourself up using your hands for support.

Now, you had a fuller view of the two men staring at you. Your eyes fell on Joshua first, he had moved to the armchair in one corner of the room beside the bed. Presumably to get a better view of what your best friend would do now.

"Baby, why don't you tell him about your fantasy?" he asked, noticing your eyes on him with a lazy smile at you.

"Lie down," Jeonghan commanded quietly, but waiting for you to start talking about the fantasy that has brought you this far.

You leaned back on the wooden table of the hotel room, only big enough to support half of your body so you instinctively pushed your knees back, planting the soles of your feet on it too.

A shudder crossed your spine when his lithe fingers tugged at the band of your panties and pulled them down your thighs. You extended your legs out for him to slide your panties down, tossing them to the floor.

"Move your legs up, baby," he said softly, grabbing you by the knees and pushing them up so the soles of your feet were flat against the desk, legs parted for him.

This way Jeonghan could have a view of your body. And you realized by then that he wanted you the farthest he could get you from Joshua.

"What's this fantasy about?" he inquired softly, as he continued to busy himself, propping down his arms at your sides, hovering over you as he leaned down to litter your skin with feathery kisses.

You ran a hand on his scalp, pulling his long dark hair back. "I want you to fuck me, Jeonghan," you stated boldly at your best friend. "I want you and Joshua to take turns with me, use me."

Jeonghan had the exact reaction you thought he would. At first he looked at you in complete bewilderment, his big brown eyes reading the honesty in the features of your face. And then, as you had expected, his eyes lit up dauntingly, smiling slightly at you.

"Is there anything in particular you want to do?" he asked, though you felt like whatever you asked of him, he'd do it but he would want to do so much more.

The truth is, you just wanted him. You wanted to feel him, to taste him, to hear him share this with you. Nothing more.

"Just do whatever you want to me, Jeongjeong," you mewled sweetly, your hand sliding from his nape and onto his cheek.

He appeared to be enjoying your touch for a second, before he grabbed your hand and placed it back on the table, his fingers encircling your wrist as he leaned down to drop kisses on your lips.

"Anything, baby?" he whispered as his lips littered your jawline, neck and collarbones with kisses.

You thought about it for a second, you thought about how comfortable he spilled that pet name for you in front of your boyfriend. "Of course. Whatever you want."

"Okay," he replied in a hollow tone, his mouth reaching your chest, his fingers moving from your wrist, pressing the palm of his hand against yours, slowly interlacing his fingers with yours as his mouth wrapped around one of your nipples.

"God, Hannie..." you instantly mewled, his tongue pressed on your pebbled nipple, moving back his lips, suckling the nub, humming along his teasing before he moved to your other breast.

His tongue pressed on the center of your boob, circling around your nipple, leaving a tingling trail of drool as he darted a look up at you.

"Th-that feels good," you muttered, using the hand that wasn't held by his own to caress his hair.

"Will you do anything I want?" he asked abruptly, throwing a glance at you, your eyes met and you found a fiery need upon them, making your stomach clench nervously.

"O-of course, Jeonghan," you replied, your voice quivering a little.

His pretty lips stretched in a sweet smile. "I knew you'd be a good girl."

Your whole body burned, limbs tingling in arousal and anticipation as you understood that your best friend was just as dominating in bed as your boyfriend.

"Do you think about me much, Jeonghan?" you ventured to ask, daring to bat your eyelashes at him.

"You have no idea," he whispered, the confession robbing him of voice it seemed, his eyes roaming on the features of your face, absorbing your reaction with the ghost of a smile.

The shudder that shook you had you blinking rapidly and uncontrollably for a second, it elicited the tiniest of groans from you, from the exhilaration, the fascination over this.

"What do you think about?" you asked, your voice sounded sweet, almost distant as he leaned down, pressing his lips on yours slowly.

"I thought of you," he breathed, you realized he was smiling then his lips pressed on yours again. "Of doing this, kissing you."

"Just kissing me, Hannie?" you pressed, feeling your heart almost leap out of your chest from how bold you sounded.

You wondered if Joshua was able to hear this, to hear the way your voice dropped, to hear you let out a mewling sound as Jeonghan's hand came up to grab your face by your jawline and move you slightly so that he could litter kisses on the underside of your jaw.

Jeonghan shook his head, "No," he mouthed, licking his lips thoughtfully and he backed off, just so he could take a view of your body on the small table.

His hand left your jaw, the pads of his fingers trailed down your collarbones, raking your skin between your breasts, making you squirm over the tingling sensation.

"You are so beautiful," Jeonghan said quietly, almost as if he didn't intend for you to hear.

The hand finally parked on the middle of your tummy, a fingertip slightly dipping in your belly button, sending a delirious shiver throughout your body. The expression on his face was of fascination, you assumed, from seeing you naked for the first time, from having his hands on you like this.

"Thank you, Hannie," you gave him a sheepish smile, aching to sneak a look to the corner of the room, where you knew you would find the man watching this whole exchange.

Jeonghan released the hand that he had laced with his to keep you from touching him. "Stay still, princess," he commanded, though his sweet voice made it seem like it was mere advice.

You sucked in a breath, immediately rendered immobile when the hand that was on your tummy moved further down, caressing your skin in the process of falling down between your parted thighs.

His eyes darted to yours when his pointer finger swiped a line from the top of your mound, then down between your pussy lips, slowly feeling your soft folds covered in your arousal already.

"Hannie..." you sighed when his middle finger joined, both fingers dipping in your entrance to get your wetness in his fingertips, his eyes locking on yours.

"Try not to move, baby," he responded when you winced quite dramatically on the table as his slick covered fingers found your clit, pressing it before starting to trace circles around it.

Jeonghan leaned over you, you tasted his breath before he kissed you again, his lips moving tenderly in between yours, the tip of his tongue sliding inside your mouth meeting your own.

The kiss was so gentle that you had to force the rapid beating of your body to focus on the prickling sensation on the skin surrounding your mouth, down to your neck. Reaching out instinctively, you felt his fluffy long hair.

But that made him stop, detaching his mouth from yours but not far enough, so you felt his lips move: "No touching, princess," he whispered.

"Would you like to tie me up?" you suggested, feeling brazen enough with your best friend.

"I won't need to," he said, the ghost of a smile appearing on his face. "Because you're a good girl, aren't you? You're going to do as I say."

The sound of his words sent you into a mad desire to prove him right. You nodded, swallowing hard as the movement of his fingers on your clit switched, pinching the already swollen bud, making you moan as the swirling of his fingers trapping your clit became faster.

Your arms fell languidly on the table at your sides, letting yourself close your eyes, sinking into sweet pleasure, his lips returned to your own, placing featherlight kisses on the bottom lip.

"There we go, baby. Relax," Jeonghan whispered. "Focus on what you're feeling. Focus on me."

At that his lips left yours and you didn't dare to open your eyes again. Instead you felt them again on the spot below your earlobe, his kiss featherlight, moving down your neck, leaving a trail of a tingling sensation that made you squirm.

"Do you like that?" he asked with his soft voice, his mouth so close to your neck that you could hear his breathing.

"Yes, Hannie," you replied with a tiny voice.

The tips of his fingers slid down from your clit, leaving it swollen and aching for more contact, but soon you moaned when his pointer and middle fingers slid inside you to his knuckles.

You squeezed your eyelids when he retreated his hand a bit, and you felt the drag of his knuckles inside your gummy walls to then slide his fingers back inside, repeating the same motion over and over, creating a squelching sound of your sopping cunt against the palm of his hand.

The sound of your breath catching in your throat made you feel even more embarrassed over the wet sounds coming from your pussy. But you still itched to grab his face, or to hold onto his shoulders.

So you did just that, not caring about trying to be good for him anymore. You needed to feel him. Slipping the palms of your hands on his shoulders, hating the fact that he was still completely dressed. As though his plan were to fuck you with his fingers and then just leave.

"Can I take this off for you?" you asked with a meek tone, knowing that you were stepping over one of his no touching rules.

He looked at you with a glint of mischief in his eyes, but nodded with his head. "Go ahead," he whispered.

You eagerly grabbed the oversized hoodie by the sides, making him remove his hand from your pussy, helping you pull the piece of clothing over his head to reveal his creamy white skin.

And then, his movement was faster than you could even grasp, his hands were seizing your wrists, encircling them perfectly with his left hand and pulling them over your head on the table.

"No touching, princess."

You let out a sharp exhale. "But–," you started, but then you had to bite your tongue when you understood; he gave you a piece of his clothing for you to obey one of his commands.

"But...?" he mused, his eyebrows pushing up slightly.

"Nothing," you mumbled, relaxing your arms, framing your head on the table.

"Pull your knees up," he instructed, nodding his head at your legs as you drew your knees in, thighs open for him as he continued to fuck you with his fingers, deeper this time thanks to the new position you were in.

"Fuck," you blurted when you felt his fingers press on your front walls, exploring every inch of you with the pads of his fingers, his eyes trained on your face, capturing your reactions.

"You sound so pretty," he said entrancingly, getting lost in the faces and the sounds you made.

"Right there, Hannie," you mewled when his fingers curved inside you, pressing on a very sensitive spot in your front walls that had you seeing colors behind your eyelids.

You instinctively clenched your fingers into fists, unable to move under his grasp. Jeonghan chuckled softly when you writhed on the table.

"If I let your hands go, will you continue being good?" he asked and you blinked to find him inches away from your face.

"Yeah," you gulped, feeling obfuscated about the no touching rule, somehow being reminded of the familiarity that it carried.

His hand released your wrists, but it was quick to find your cheek to hold for him to press his lips against yours. "I want you to come on my fingers first," he said into your mouth.

The words elicited a violent shudder from you, angling your hips for his hand to fuck your cunt harder, being met with more kisses and a almost inaudible, "Good girl," from his end.

"Hannie..." you sighed, shutting your eyes when the thrusts of his fingers inside you gained force and speed, his fingers teasing that glorious spot he found after exploring your walls, the squelching sounds becoming louder. "Please, please, please."

You were reduced to mere lewd sounds, trembling on the table as the sweet pleasure inside you built up. Eyes shut so you only felt his hot mouth travel from yours and kiss the swell of your breasts, capturing one of your nipples, teasing it with his tongue as your moans only egged him on.

"Hannie," you called, hands clutching at the ends of the small table, unable to move anymore. "I'm there, god. Hannie..."

With a strangled sob, you sank into waves of pleasure, your orgasm flooded your body, sizzling under your skin and making you let out a whining moan. You felt your body be overpowered by soft spasms, your walls clamping around his fingers, as well as the plug in your hole.

"Fuck," you heard Jeonghan whisper as your walls squeeze his fingers tightly, but then he said in a louder tone: "Good girl."

You flinched slightly when his lips returned to yours, grazing softly before kissing you heatedly.

"Felt good, princess?"

"Yeah," you breathed out with a smirk. "I needed that."

The statement made you snap your eyes open, stomach twisting violently, leaving you cold on the table for a fraction of a second.

Jeonghan read you well, his head inclined to one side slightly. "Mmn, someone has been neglecting you a lot lately, isn't that right?"

You saw his lips move as he spoke those words openly, only worsening the chilling shudder.

You didn't dare to look at Joshua. You couldn't.

"Yes."

"Do you want me to give you more, baby?" Jeonghan asked, which in his tone sounded more like a soothing purr.

"Please?" you breathed shamefully.

Your eyelids fluttered with a shudder when he pulled his fingers out of your sopping pussy and without skipping a beat he took them into his mouth, licking your arousal off with a low grunt.

"Stay still," he whispered his next command, lowering himself onto his knees, his face at the perfect height to lean his mouth close to your inner thighs, propping kisses, not giving you much preamble before he pressed his tongue between your pussy lips.

"God!" you gasped.

A low chuckle made you turn your gaze to the corner of the room. There Joshua sat on the armchair, leaning his head on a fist as he watched you trying not to move, thighs wide open as his best friend ate you out.

Slowly, you propped yourself onto your elbows, keeping your eyes trained on your boyfriend, understanding on the features of his face that he was aroused by this but you wanted to know more, you wanted to taunt him, to elicit a bigger reaction from him.

Something about his lust-lidded eyes, the dark look he kept on you as he leaned his head on his fist, taking a deep breath which you recognized instantly as one of his methods to resist his own pleasure.

Running a hand on Jeonghan's head, threading your fingers through his fluffy dark hair to elicit a low grunt, sending a brief vibrating feeling between your pussy lips. You caressed his long hair as he sloppily ran his tongue across your folds, figuring you out, tasting you, exploring you fully.

The big and generous strokes of his tongue stopped, his eyes lifting to find yours as he moved his tongue, the pointed tip circling your clit slowly, watching your expression as your mouth parted and you let out a sharp breath.

"Hannie..." you mewled when the swirling of his tongue shifted into figure eight motions around your clit, gaining some speed as he kept his eyes on your face.

He groaned when your grip on his hair tightened in response to the pleasure blooming inside you again. No touching, he appeared to be telling you as his hand grabbed yours, removing it from his hair and lacing his fingers with yours, keeping your hand laced with his on top of your tummy.

"Fuck, Hannie, keep doing that please," you mumbled, sighing a moan at the same time you tried to keep yourself focused on the relentless motion of the pointed tip of his tongue.

Jeonghan released your hand when your thighs framing his head started to shake slightly, your moans increasing, sounding nearly sinful. You closed your eyes, feeling the touch of his hands exploring your body, caressing your skin, your tummy and your breasts, cupping them.

"Oh, Jeonghan..." you moaned, tipping your head back as a sweet wave of pleasure flooded inside your body, causing it to writhe slightly on the table.

But you felt his hands on your hips holding you down as you continued to call out his name, chest heaving with your sharp breaths.

Ignoring his rule again, you caressed his hair, brushing it back in an attempt to pull him back. But instead he just grounded his mouth in your pussy, simulating open kisses on your entrance, between your lips and on your clit.

"Jeonghan... sensitive," you flinched abruptly when his lips latched onto your clit, a series of loud smacking sounds coming from his mouth as he teased your engorged bud, releasing moans as he did so.

"Mm," he responded, looking at you again before detaching his mouth from your pussy.

You were embarrassingly breathless from coming so hard, legs trembling and you could feel the wetness dripping from between your legs onto the table.

"I... want—can I suck you off?" you asked, emboldened by the desire to make your boyfriend watch. But still, a tingling and warm rush of blood swarmed all over your face and neck.

Jeonghan rose from the floor, looking at you with an impassive expression on his face. Almost as if he didn't know what to do next, or if he wanted to do many things at once but couldn't decide.

He grabbed you by your hands, helping you sit up on the table to then plant a hard kiss on your lips, making you get a taste of yourself on his tongue when it swept inside your mouth.

"Get on your knees, princess," he instructed with a light tone, running the back of his fingers on your cheek.

Jeonghan turned away as you lowered yourself from the table, watching him get rid of the rest of his clothes in a near methodical way. Straight to the point, not putting on a show, or letting you have your fun by undressing him.

So you kept watching him as he threw his clothes to one side with little care as to where they landed, discarding his shorts, and underwear, until he was completely naked and in front of you. The only two things he carried on his body now were on his wrists: your scrunchie and his watch. 

"I want you here," he pointed to a spot in front of the bed, straight across from where Joshua was sitting.

You swallowed hard before sinking down onto your knees on the cold marble floor. Waiting, your eyes rose and fell on his tall frame, his nakedness. His milky white skin, his strong thighs, there was a beauty on how unapologetically he was displaying his body to you.

"You're beautiful," you whispered abruptly, having your heart crushed over how the words flew out of your mouth.

Jeonghan was shy whenever someone complimented him, but now he just seemed to be amused, as if he enjoyed being showered with your praise.

"Give me your hand," he offered you his palms before you could come out of your daze and placed your hands on his so he could indicate where you could touch him.

He then took your hand and placed them on his hip. "Leave it here. You can tap me if you want to stop, got it?"

You nodded, looking up at him and when your eyes met with his, you felt a deep sense of nervousness. It had been a while since you felt this during sex, and you realized with a flashing pain crossing your chest, that beyond the lust and desire for him, you felt something else.

His hand caressed your cheek before running his fingers through your hair. "Go ahead, princess. I'm yours," he muttered, and you noticed in the slight quiver in his tone that he was nervous and eager too.

You darted a look sideways, finding Joshua in the same position, much as if time had stopped for him the minute you and Jeonghan kissed. He bore the same look of lust in his eyes, the same dark determined look he wore whenever he was on a mission.

You ran your tongue between your lips once, driving all of your attention to the man standing before you now. He gave you a confident look, silently telling you that you were doing well and in that moment, it was all you needed.

Tentatively, your fingers trailed a line from his lower abdomen, a soft smile drawing on your face when you realized that he was hairy when your fingertip raked between the soft pubic hair.

"Don't tease me like this, princess," Jeonghan giggled after your fingers caused him to flinch slightly.

"Sorry," you breathed. But your fingers encircled around his long and pretty cock. It was so hard that you didn't need to stroke it beforehand, the pink tip already dripping with precum.

You pressed your lips on the underside of his cock, making a trail of feathery and wet kisses until you reached his tip, licking your lips to taste his precum with a hum. "You have a pretty cock," you muttered softly, almost sounding dazedly.

Jeonghan smiled, the sound making you break out of your trance. The hand cradling your hair moved, his thumb caressing one of your temples.

Holding his gaze, you opened your mouth and took his cockhead in, licking him first as you would a lolly, the tip first. Jeonghan's hand came to join the other, gathering your hair gently, his fingertips grazing on your scalp briefly.

You felt a rush of adrenaline and arousal as you watched Jeonghan's face relax, his mouth going slack as you slowly took his cock in your mouth, sucking his head eagerly now, trying to get more reactions from him.

"Oh," he uttered ever so gently, his voice dropping to a rasp.

You tried to explore him to the best of your capacity, tongue swirling around the pink head of his cock every time you moved your mouth back on him, taking him deeper when you pushed his cock until your lips reached your fist still placed by his hilt.

"God," you heard him gasp, his fingers clenching around the strands of your hair.

A shudder coursed through your body, making you raise your eyes to find his face riddled with pleasure, he threw his head back and now you could see his pretty neck, his throat moving as he moaned in pleasure.

The sound made your core flutter, it sounded so raw and sweet that you were instantly fascinated by it, eliciting a mewling sound from you. Hollowing your cheeks out as you moved your head back, to suck on his cock pressing your tongue around the head before going forward again, repeating the movement, faster.

"Stop, stop," he whispered, his hand slipping from your hair and grabbing your chin. "I'm close, princess."

You took a big gulp of air when Jeonghan pulled out of your mouth, drool dripping down your lower lip. "I want to keep going," you mumbled.

"Sure, baby?" he asked, the lines between his eyebrows showing ever so slightly.

"I'm sure," you nodded, leaning close to him so you could take him into your mouth again, darting a look to his face and then to his cock in front of you. "Use my mouth, please. I want you to fuck my mouth, Jeonghan."

The satisfying feeling you got from his eyes widening slightly at your words was something you were quickly growing an obsession with.

Before he could nod with his head, his eyes scanned your face swiftly. "Okay," he mouthed, his hands reuniting with your head, gathering your hair between his fingers.

Your mouth fell open for him, eyes trained on his face.

"Hands on me, baby," he rasped, a hand grabbing his cock as he guided it inside your parted lips, pushing it with his hips slowly as your fingers dug on the skin of his hips.

You inhaled deeply through your nose, eyelids fluttering uncontrollably as his long cock slid on your tongue, reaching the back of your mouth tentatively, thrusting slowly inside you before picking up a calculated pace.

There was something about holding his gaze as he pushed his cock inside your mouth, and you could see that it had the same effect on him as it did to yourself. It was near maddening, a frenzied rush coursed through your body, resolving you to keep yourself focused on him.

"Fuck, you're good at this," he muttered with a strain on his voice as he thrusted deep inside you, making you gag as you relaxed your throat for him to fuck, making him moan deliriously. "So fucking good," he whispered.

Your core throbbed at the sound of his words, you would've moaned if you weren't intent on deepthroating him without gagging. But tears were starting to gather on the corners of your eyes, your mouth had relaxed so much for him that you couldn't control the drool dripping onto your chin.

"God," he whispered, squeezing his eyes shut, shuddering with another delicious moan that rasped on his throat. "Baby, you feel so good."

Your hands encircled his hips, caressing his skin on the process keeping your teary eyes fixed on his face.

"I'm gonna come in your mouth," he gasped, opening his eyes to find your face.

You blinked slowly at him, as if saying "Please do," a thing you learned from your boyfriend on occasions like this.

"Fuck," he whispered shakily, the thrusting of his hips faltering slightly before he pushed deep into your mouth, throwing his head back as ropes of cum spurted from his cock and onto your throat.

Jeonghan moaned, a sound coming one after the other; breathless, raspy until you stopped swallowing his cum, breathing deeply through your nose, determined to look at his face as he came in your mouth.

His face was riddled in pure pleasure, his closed eyelids trembling slightly as he kept his mouth parted, breathing heavily as his hands relaxed on your hair, blindly searching your face to caress your cheeks.

"Fuck," he muttered to the ceiling, but this time it was different.

Jeonghan moved his head forward to find your face with his eyes, his hand cupping your cheek grazed your skin, his thumbs gathering the tears left in your cheekbones.

"Get up," he said, gently pulling out from your mouth and his hands grabbed yours to help you onto your feet. "Are you okay?" he asked once you were face to face with him.

"Mm-mmph," you cooed, nodding with your head in affirmation.

"Okay," he whispered, leaning closer to kiss your lips, slowly locking them with yours, rolling his tongue inside your mouth, moaning gutturally as he got a taste of himself in your tongue.

"Jeonghan..." you whispered.

He grabbed you by the waist as he sat down on the bed, bringing your body with him. Staggering slightly, you pressed one knee at his side, then the other.

"Ride me," Jeonghan muttered suddenly, almost as if in a hurry. His hands came up to cup your jaw lightly. "Come on, baby, sit on me," he whispered in your lips, urging you to move.

You nodded eagerly and pushed his body back on the bed, mouth watering again when you noticed that his cock had grown hard again and you sent him a look.

He must have read the pure awe in your eyes, because he nodded and swallowed hard. "Need to feel you, princess," he mumbled, his hands sliding on your hips, guiding you on top of his body as you moved on the bed to straddle him.

You took his pretty cock in your hand, rolling it over to spread the traces of your saliva and his precum along his shaft. Then, you angled it to your core, his eyes shifting from his cock about to slip inside you and back at your eyes, where they decided to stay as you slowly sat on his cock.

Jeonghan sucked in a breath and his hands gripped your hips tighter. "Don't," he stopped you just as you were going to look at the corner of the room. "Don't look at him. Look at me."

You nodded again in silence and bottomed out on him, your hands anchoring on the sides of his shoulders as you started rolling your hips on him, feeling every inch of his cock slowly. You let out a muffled moan, when you saw Jeonghan's expression change, his eyebrows knitted slightly and his mouth parted.

"Fuck," he groaned, sending his gaze to the ceiling. "Fuck. You're... a dream, princess. That's it, ride me, baby."

You had started to take a little speed, the sway of your hips gaining more control on his cock, bouncing on him to get closer to what your body desperately wanted. You wanted to come, to make him come, to watch him come undone under you.

"Jeonghan..." you breathed, feeling hot in the face because you could feel your boyfriend's eyes on you. "Am I doing it right?"

"Don't stop," he grunted, sucking in a breath through his pink lips, and shut his eyes for a moment.

Joshua had spread his legs, rubbing a hand over his clothed cock. His eyes were on you, just like you had wished for. A hot wave of shame and lust ran from your face to your cunt when you saw how hard your boyfriend was just from seeing you fuck someone else.

A slap came down your thigh, hard. "Fuck!" you yelped, hips stuttering sloppily.

"I told you not to look at him, princess," he tutted.

"'m sorry," you mumbled shamefully.

"Sorry won't cut it," he growled: "Faster."

You trapped your lower lip between your teeth, your hands finding his shoulders to anchor yourself on as you started rolling your hips faster on him. You moaned uncontrollably when you felt his cock hit in your walls deliciously each time you sank back in.

You kept that pace, that motion of your hips because you could feel the sweet pleasure building inside you, taking you closer to your release and the realization of cumming like this hit you, because you've never made yourself come like this, not even with Joshua.

"Je-jeonghan," you stammered, breathless, whimpering. "Fuck, fuck, oh god..."

You screwed your eyes shut, not allowing your body to grow tired and your hips buckled a little before you sank back on his cock, forcefully, letting out a cry as the tension in your body snapped, making you come hard on top of him.

"Jeonghan!" you gasped, opening your eyes to find his. His mouth had parted and his hands were kneading at your thighs, as if trying with all his might not to come with you.

"Look at you," Jeonghan cooed with a sigh, the fascination in his voice and written in his eyes was undeniable now. "Oh, princess, you're making a mess on me."

"Mmn?" you looked down where your bodies connected, without stopping swaying your hips on him. The base of his cock glistened wet with your arousal, his skin and pubic hair had a faint string of your cream smeared all over.

"You're doing great, baby," Jeonghan said softly, his fingers pinching your chin. "Didn't think you'd be this filthy. But it was expected of you, right?"

"'m not filthy," you slurred out, bouncing sloppily to keep your eyes on the mess you made. It was strangely alluring.

Jeonghan smiled, the sigh coming from him made you tear your eyes from the base of his cock and look at his face. "Are you sure, baby?Only a filthy girl can get herself off from this."

Your walls fluttered around his cock from hearing him talk down to you like that, you gave him a slow nod.

And then, without thinking, you looked at Joshua. He had lost his briefs, his head leaned back against the headrest, you saw his throat bob slightly, his darkened eyes set on you as his fist pumped his cock slowly.

Your whole body burned in response, drawing out a whiny moan and your brows knitted uncontrollably. A firm slap landed on your thigh, making you shut your eyes and cry out.

"Fuck, fuck! I'm sorry," you mumbled. "Sorry."

"You're being stubborn," he rasped, reaching out with one hand to grab your neck and pulling you closer so you brushed against his chest with your tits. "I never told you to stop."

"Sorry," you whispered nervously, your face so close to his that you felt his breath on your lips.

You moved your hips again, sinking on his cock sloppily.

"D'you like this, princess?" he whispered, looking at your eyes, then your lips. "Do you like that your boyfriend just watched you come on my cock, not his?"

"Yeah," you croaked. "I want more."

A corner of his mouth curled up, his hands came down from your neck to grip your ass and he stopped you completely, his cock slipping out of your sopping walls.

"Wh-what did–,"

"Get on all fours," Jeonghan instructed before kissing you chastely.

You stilled, searching his eyes impatiently. But he looked back at you, lust blown eyes, his mouth sporting a devilish grin.

"Go on," he urged, patting your thigh with his hand.

You planted your hands on his chest to help yourself onto your knees, and crawled to the middle of the large bed, getting on all fours for him as he followed behind you.

"God, you have the prettiest ass," you heard him say as a hand caressed your butt. "Should we make it prettier, princess?" he mused.

"Uh?" you uttered confusedly.

Then his fingers toyed with the plug inside you, and you instantly moaned. "Do you think you're ready for the bigger one?" Jeonghan asked and then you saw from the corner of your eye, his hand reaching out for the bottle of lube.

"Ye-yeah, I'm ready," you stammered shamefully, you threw a look in front you, finding your boyfriend watching you intently, making you drop your gaze to the duvet swiftly.

"Mmn," he hummed as his fingers plucked the plug out. "Breathe in, princess," he directed gently as you heard the spurts coming from the bottle of lube, then you felt the cold liquid on the pads of his fingers as he spread your hole open for the next plug.

"Breathe out," he muttered.

"Oh," you blinked rapidly as you felt the longer plug inside you, penetrating you even deeper than the first one.

"Okay?" Jeonghan asked, a hand caressing your lower back, waiting for your response.

"Okay," you replied.

Moving your body back, you sneaked a look to Joshua again as you crawled on the bed to then feel Jeonghan's hands yank you from your hips, forcing you to face your boyfriend, ass angled to his best friend.

"You'll get what you want," Jeonghan cooed, his hand sliding on your lower back, then you felt his cockhead gliding up and down your folds. "One spank if you close your eyes or look away from him."

Joshua nodded, making clear his participation in the punishment. Without tearing his eyes from your face he kept stroking his cock, the lower lip trapped behind his teeth smirked slightly when Jeonghan sheathed his cock inside your walls again, eliciting a raw moan from you.

Jeonghan immediately started pushing his hips so hard you could feel his hip bones meet your ass, the slap beginning to sting a little as he quite literally pounded on you, his cock hitting a glorious spot repeatedly, drawing pathetic moans out of you.

You realized that you had never seen Joshua touch himself like this. He blinked slowly at you, suppressing a small shudder, the muscles of his jaw twitching as he gritted his teeth. You knew him well enough to know that he was trying hard not to come, and you nearly smiled at that.

But you couldn't deny that you felt a deep shame washing over your face from being fucked hard by someone else while your boyfriend simply watched. Watched your body bouncing as Jeonghan's hips jackhammered into you, not slowing down or shifting position, just fucking into your glorious spot relentlessly, releasing small grunts every time you moaned.

Joshua looked at your face the whole time, probably noticing the shame painted in your hot cheeks. The small smile crowning his lips told you that much.

You couldn't. You had to look away from him.

"Spank."

Your heart skipped a beat just as Jeonghan delivered a firm spank in your buttcheek. "Fuck," you squeezed your eyes shut and blinked repeatedly, tears gathering in your eyes.

"Fuck!" Jeonghan also gasped when your walls squeezed around him. "You like being spanked, princess?"

Joshua smiled cruelly.

Jeonghan's hands grabbed your hips forcefully before changing the pace in his thrusts, plowing on you, angling his cock so that you felt him hitting you deeper.

"Sorry princess, what was that?" he grunted, a half gasp that could almost resemble a laugh.

You could only moan in response when you saw your boyfriend's cock glistening in precum, just as his hand rolled over the rosy brown cockhead to smear his own slick all over. Joshua muffled a low raspy groan, blinking slowly at you, unable to look away from your fucked out form.

"Are you fucked stupid, baby?" Jeonghan asked after you gave him no actual response.

"Spank," Joshua muttered again, his voice low and raspy.

"But I didn't look away," you whimpered in protest just as you received another firm slap in your already tingling buttcheek. "Gah, fuck, Hannie–"

"Fuck, princess," Jeonghan moaned deliriously, oblivious to your protest. "If you keep squeezing me like that, I might not last long."

"Hannie, please, I didn't–," you started to plead and got from the glint in your boyfriend's eyes that this is exactly what he wanted.

Joshua wanted to hear you beg, he wanted to see you being punished.

"Spank," Joshua's merciless smile crowned his red lips and his head tipped back as he pumped his cock faster. His thighs tensed and you saw him swallow thickly, he was close, but kept resisting his climax.

"Fuck!" you yelped when Jeonghan's hand came down on your buttcheek, your walls fluttering around him, and your arms nearly give out from the flashing pain.

Jeonghan groaned, a low sound coming from him, something you didn't think you would hear from him. "Fuck, I'm close princess," he sighed, words caught in a slurry mess: "Want me to pull out?"

You were close too, you were growing a bit sore from the relentless pounding, the tip of his cock abusing the sensitive spot inside your walls to the point you knew you were about to wet yourself soon if he just kept going.

Your eyes were brimming with tears, but you kept them fixed on your boyfriend's eyes, on the movement of his hand. It was then that you realized that he was matching the speed of his hand to the thrusts plowing on you.

"Baby, answer him," Joshua urged, his pierced eyebrow twitched slightly.

"No, please!" you gasped. "P-please come inside me," you made a motion to turn to look over your shoulder.

"Spank," your boyfriend's voice betrayed you again with a sigh which resembled a faint laugh.

This spank was firmer than the others before it. You squeezed your eyes shut, the pain sizzling beneath your skin and you saw red, your cunt squeezing around him and you knew you were so close to your own release.

"Fuck-k," you heard Jeonghan breathe out, and then. "Cumming," he muttered before the pace of his thrusts slowed down, fucking you sloppily as he emptied himself inside you with a raspy moan.

Joshua was grinning, the tip of his tongue ran over his lower lip before sinking his teeth, his head tilted back, looking at you with lascivious eyes before spurts of cum landed on the back of his hand, on his lower abdomen and chest. Your boyfriend let out a long groan that joined with your moans.

Both men were breathing slowly and ragged, Jeonghan's hands remained on your hips, keeping you steady as you trembled uncontrollably on the bed.

"Clean him off, princess," Jeonghan instructed, patting you in your butt gently, egging you to do it quickly.

You turned to look at him over your shoulder, a question written in your eyes.

Jeonghan was covered in a sheen film of sweat, from his forehead to his collarbones. His dark bangs sticking on his forehead as he breathed hard from the exhaustion, his tongue hanging on his lower lip languidly.

"Come here, bunny," Joshua called, and you turned to him, sitting in the armchair still, just at arm's length from you.

You whimpered slightly when Jeonghan pulled out of your walls, but you crawled to the edge of the bed towards your boyfriend, who cupped your cheek with his clean hand as soon as you were near enough for him to touch you.

"You're being so good, baby," he muttered, his thumb brushing your lower lip just before you bent your head and licked the cum off the back of his hand that was resting on top of his crotch.

Joshua's mouth parted and he lifted his fingers for you to suck on, licking them clean. His eyebrow twitched slightly when you moved your mouth to his lower abdomen. Running your tongue on his skin, you licked to the last bead of his cum.

"Good girl," Jeonghan muttered behind you.

"Mmn, but baby you're making a mess," Joshua said in a honeyed purr, making you turn to see your thigh.

Joshua's hand came down to your thigh, his fingers stopping the cum trailing down, picking it up and inserting it back to your fluttering cunt.

"Can't let it go to waste, huh?" your boyfriend smiled when you moaned as his fingers teased your slit, pushing the cum dripping out of you.

"Babe, I–," you started pleading when he pulled his fingers out of you, you needed to come.

But he stuck his fingers in your mouth quite abruptly, you tasted Jeonghan's cum, mixed with your own arousal. "Mmn, I think princess wants more," Joshua purred, a fascinated look in his dark eyes. "You were close, right baby? He didn't let you cum again."

You shook your head in affirmation, trying your best to give him an innocent look. "Mm-mmn," you hummed, making him grin at you.

You heard a sharp exhale behind you and felt the bed shifted under you. "Princess, you came three times already," you heard Jeonghan say. "What more can you take?"

Joshua's pierced eyebrow quirked up slightly. "Shall we test that, baby?"

His thumb brushed your lower lip as he pulled it out of your mouth softly, his grin widening when you nodded with your head eagerly.

"How are you?" your boyfriend asked, his tone dropping slightly as his eyes surveyed your face. "Are you okay?"

You nodded with your head once, lifting your eyes to meet his. "I want you now, Joshua," you mewled with a breathy tone.

Joshua looked at you briefly before a smirk crowned his beautiful lips. "Come here," he pointed at the spot in front of him, so you climbed down from the bed just as he rose from the armchair.

You followed his face with your eyes as he was now looking down to meet your gaze.

"Are you ready, baby?" he asked, reading your face with his big brown eyes.

You nodded, and then added with more certainty. "I am."

Then he instructed you to place both knees right at the edge of the bed, ass up and pointed at him. On all fours, you were looking directly at Jeonghan, lying in the pillows, blinking slowly as if he were drifting still.

His post-sex gaze found you, making your stomach clench as you noticed something else in his eyes too.

"Mmn baby, you're all red," Joshua murmured sweetly but mockingly, rubbing the sore areas of your ass with his hands. "Jeonghan doesn't know how much you enjoy being pampered."

"Mm-mmph," you hummed, shuddering under the softness of the caress, your boyfriend was now exhibiting how well he knew you, and how blind Jeonghan was to your preferences.

"Are you enjoying this, baby?" Joshua asked as his fingers toyed with the plug lodged in your ass. "Do you like that Hannie is getting to know how needy you really are?"

"Yeah, I do, Josh," you replied, voice dropping to a whimper the plug was slowly plucked out of you.

Jeonghan smiled, his teeth sliding on top of his lower lip as he watched you subdue yourself to your boyfriend.

"But Hannie probably knew already," Joshua muttered. "He also got to read the filthy things you write, right?"

Jeonghan nodded, his eyes wandered from you to your boyfriend behind you.

"Bunny, you're dripping," Joshua sighed, the pads of his fingers gingerly traveling from your clit, picking the slick and cum dripping down from your hole and pushing it back up. "My baby is so messy."

You sighed a moan when his fingers dipped in your fluttering core, feeling your boyfriend's touch, familiar instead of explorative, made you even more aroused.

"So he probably knows that you want both of us," Joshua continued with his musings, but this made you frown slightly, your heart twisting in your chest.

You turned your head to find your boyfriend, he cocked his blond head to one side, reading your expresion.

"Isn't that right, bunny?" he inquired, the corner of his mouth stretching in a grin. "You want us inside you at the same time."

"Ye-yeah, that's what I want, Josh," you stammered dumbly.

"I'd assumed as much," Jeonghan admitted, when you looked back at him you swore you saw the same wolfish grin on his face as your boyfriend's.

"You're gonna be good for us, baby?" Joshua purred as his lubed fingers prodded on your hole gingerly at first, stretching it more.

"Yeah," you whined, closing your eyes to savor the feeling.

"Breathe, baby," your boyfriend reminded you, spreading his fingers, keeping you open for him.

You inhaled through your nose, moaning as you exhaled.

But you needed to see your boyfriend standing behind you, you understood from the movement of his right arm that he was stroking himself, lubing his cock for you. The dark and lustful gaze he kept on you made your body burn with anticipation, making you angle your ass for him.

"Good girl," Joshua breathed before pressing the tip of his cock on your hole, his eyes shifting from your ass to your face, his eyebrows knitting at the same time you did.

"Josh... mn," you mewled, looking his mouth fall open as he eased himself inside you, ever so slowly and carefully.

"Alright?" he breathed, unable to bring his tone any louder.

You gave him rapid nods with your head. "Yes, yes," you mumbled.

His eyes remained on the features of your face for a second before shifting them to his fingers spreading you open for him, a hand reached out to pump more lube onto his palm. A low hiss escaped between his teeth as he coated the remaining half of his cock to ease himself inside you, thrusting shallowly.

It was hard to breathe, you couldn't move. You focused all of your energy to remain lax for him as he eased the first half of his cock inside your tight hole.

But everything inside you became alight with sweet pleasure. You dropped your head forward, enjoying the feeling coursing beneath your skin, keeping your lower lip trapped between your teeth, but muffled mewling sounds resounded in your throat.

You sneaked a look at the man in front of you. Jeonghan was lying on his side, elbow propped on the pillows as he looked at you and your boyfriend. His heavy lidded eyes kept switching between Joshua's face and then to yours, a hand idly stroking his cock.

"Baby," he muttered, a strain to his voice, and when you turned you saw it showing on his clenched jaws as he tilted his head back, moving his hips at a slow pace. "Are you okay? Can I give you more?"

"Yes, I'm okay," you replied, a hot wave washing over your face. "I want more."

"Okay," he sighed deeply, his hands now palming your ass as he thrusted his hips forward, easing another inch inside you.

"Oh god," you shut your eyes. "Please, move, Josh..."

"I don't want to hurt you," he replied in a breathless tone. "I need you to relax, baby. Can you do that for me?"

You nodded, focusing on what your body felt, crying out, welcoming the pleasure, the slow and shallow thrusts of Joshua's hips, his cock pushing in and out of you, making him moan.

You knew your boyfriend could hang. He came once already so it would probably take him more time to come again. But something in the way that he was moaning let you know that it might be different this time.

"Fuck, so tight," he sighed in pleasure, his hands palming your ass, caressing your skin as if to soothe your moans. "Talk to me, baby."

"Don't stop. Please, Joshua," you replied instantly, your fingers clenching on the bed covers, holding on tightly.

"Do you think you're ready for Jeonghan?" he asked with a slight urgency to his tone.

"Yeah," you breathed out, looking at your best friend and then your boyfriend behind you. "I'm ready."

"Okay," he gasped, the features of his face riddled with pleasure, but he came to a stop once he heard you. Joshua raised a hand and motioned you over to his chest. "Move back, baby. Slowly."

You simply did what he instructed, and wordlessly, Jeonghan moved across the bed, standing next to Joshua now. His hands shifted positions, gripping your hips as you stood back on your knees as he said, so your back pressed against his chest.

The two men exchanged a glance before Joshua moved your body from the bed, Jeonghan's hands sliding on your thighs to help your boyfriend support your body from the front.

"You're okay, baby?" Joshua asked when he heard you let out a small cry.

"Yeah," you replied quickly, now looking at Jeonghan as you used your hands to hold onto his lean shoulders. "Please, more, please."

Joshua kept your thighs angled for the man in front of you, just as he took a hand between his body and yours, grabbing his hard cock to guide it to your cunt, his eyes finding yours as he started to sheathe himself inside your cunt in one go.

Your eyes rolled back, squeezing your eyelids tightly as your head slumped back onto Joshua's shoulder. "F-fuck," you gasped, as Jeonghan eased himself to the hilt, making you fuller than ever.

"Baby," Joshua urged, breathing hot against your neck.

"Move, please, Josh," you cried out, the corners of your eyes spilling some tears.

Without wasting a single second, you felt the two men move in a slow sway, appearing to share one mind again because there were no words exchanged, nothing you could make out before they began a push and pull with your body.

"God," you breathed out, seeing stars behind your closed eyelids. "Josh..."

"You're good, baby," he replied, his voice muffling as he pressed his lips on the crook of your sweaty neck. "You're perfect."

As the two men moved inside you, the rest of your body supported by Joshua's strong arms on your thighs, Jeonghan helping him through as he moved in with shallow thrusts.

You blinked, leaning your head forward, the tip of your nose bumping sloppily against Jeonghan's. You kissed him slowly, eliciting a raw moan from the man, but he reciprocated the kiss, breathing in your mouth when you backed away.

Then you turned your head to your side, Joshua reached for your lips with his own, meeting in a feathery kiss. "Mmn," you hummed into his mouth before leaning your head back onto his shoulder once again. "So full," you whispered in pure bliss, dissolving into a puddle of pleasure.

"I know, baby, I know," Jeonghan mumbled, his voice too, sounding tense.

"So good for us," Joshua whispered, kissing your shoulder.

"Mm-huh," you hummed entrancingly, but your mind had already gone completely blank as you were reduced to breathy moans, tears spilling from your closed eyes, unable to string up thoughts.

Lips kissed your neck, your shoulder, while another set of lips kissed your cheeks, your tears and even your own lips. But slowly you lost awareness of who was who anymore, not even if you would recognize Joshua's lips anywhere, you couldn't do it.

The sway of both men pushing inside you never changed, it never paused, you heard tired gasps and raw moans as they used your body, filling you up to the brim.

Your moans were becoming increasingly louder every time, and whinier. You had never sounded like this, never felt like this before. So full, and taken over by pleasure that there was nothing you could say. You saw lights and colors behind your eyelids and tasted your climax in your mouth, pleasure blooming inside you in fiery waves, taking over you completely. 

"I think she's close."

"Are you gonna cum for us, baby?"

"Yeah," you breathed.

"Come, bunny, come for us."

"Oh god," you whimpered before coming undone without any warning, crying out blissfully, your body being overtaken by relentless tremors. Your hands held onto his shoulders, nails digging into skin.

"Fuck," you heard one of the men gasp in response.

The orgasm was so brutal that you felt like collapsing, you felt it everywhere, flooding you from inside, coursing through your whole body, you even felt it on your face, between the tears rolling down your cheeks.

The room was filled with your raw cries of pleasure, and low moans and gasps from the men holding your spasming body while you clenched around them, triggering their own orgasms, stuffing you up with their cum. One had propped his forehead on one of your shoulders, while the other was breathing hard on the curve of your neck, while grazing your skin with his lips.

"Fuck, baby," one gasped languidly, fingers digging on the plush of your thighs.

Both men had stopped pushing inside you, but kept holding you as you trembled with the aftershocks of your orgasm.

"Baby?" the same voice asked.

"She's out of it," the other said knowingly. "Give her a moment."

"Let's lay her down."

A weak cry spilled from you when Joshua pulled out of you, even if he did it with care, you felt the sudden loss of him inside you. Followed by that Jeonghan pulled out of you. Next thing you knew, your trembling thighs were wet but before you knew it, your limp body was quickly laid on the bed.

"Easy," you heard him whisper soothingly. "Eaasy, baby."

"I got a towel and I already started a bath."

"Thank you," a hand brushed some hairs from your face. "I'm gonna clean you up, bunny."

"Okay," you mumbled, opening your eyes to see Joshua sitting beside you, carefully pressing a wet hand towel on your thighs, cleaning up the cum that had dripped down from you.

"Hi there, baby," Joshua smiled at you. "How are you? Okay?"

"Amazing," you replied with a slurry tone.

"Tsk," you heard Jeonghan click his tongue with amusement before announcing: "Bath is ready, princess."

"Come on," Joshua nodded his head back to the bathroom door. "I'll take you there."

"I can do it," you protested, starting to prop yourself onto your elbows.

"You don't have to," he retorted, already getting on his feet to lift your body from the bed, cradling you on his strong arms to lower you gently into the warm water of the tub.

"Thank you, babe," you mumbled sweetly.

Jeonghan was already in the shower, its glass walls letting you know that he was sending you glances to check up on you.

"Are you hungry, baby? Do you want me to order something?" Joshua asked as he knelt before you. "Waffles? Fries? Strawberry milkshakes?"

The crushing love and adoration you felt for him was beyond anything your languid body could handle at that moment. You smiled and nodded lazily.

"Everything I just said?" his eyebrows pushed up, and his beautiful lips were crowned with a smile, making his dimples above his lips show.

"Can it be chocolate now?"

"Of course, baby," he smiled endearingly at you. "Do you need help?"

"I got it, Josh," you replied. "Thank you."

"Okay," he whispered, giving you one look before he got up, as Jeonghan was stepping out of the shower and was now being occupied by your boyfriend.

"You're okay there, princess?" Jeonghan asked as he patted his face and neck with the towel.

"Yeah. A bit sore but I'm okay," you replied, watching his fully naked body as he wiped the droplets of water sticking onto his skin. You pretended to busy yourself, subbing your soapy hands onto your inner thighs.

Jeonghan sat down on the rim of the tub, at arm's length from you so he only stretched out to boop your nose with the tip of his finger. You looked at him startled for a second.

But he smiled, in fact, a breathy chuckle left him as he saw your face.

"What?" you asked, blinking confusedly at him.

"You're cute," he replied nonchalantly, resuming to wipe himself down.

You said nothing, in fact, you felt like you didn't have the brain capacity to process why you felt so confused at the moment. You simply pulled the drain stopper with your foot, the warm water scurrying down quickly.

"Help me up?" you extended a hand at him.

"Sure you can walk?" Jeonghan smirked, casting a look over his shoulder.

Joshua was coming out of the shower, draping his lower half with a towel as he kept an eye on you. "I'll do it," he offered and bent forward to get you up, lifting you up in his arms again.

Jeonghan got another towel for you, which he extended on the bed as Joshua set down on it neatly.

"You guys make a great team," you noted aloud finally, looking at both men standing before you.

They both exchanged a quick look, Joshua only nodded nonchalantly, Jeonghan smirked at your words. "We know, princess."

After that, Joshua ordered room service for everyone and you all waited with the TV on. You were blissfully dozing on the bed, aloof to anything that happened around you until you were woken up by your boyfriend telling you the food was here.

You ate in silence, barely able to keep your eyes open but the only thing keeping you up and running was your growling stomach.

"It's time for me to go back," Jeonghan announced, rising up to his feet.

The meals were done and you could barely hold your head up from the slumber and tiredness taking over you.

"You stay."

Both men jerked their heads upon hearing you say that, both looked confused, much as if they weren't expecting you say that.

"Please?" you raised your eyes to look at him. "I want you to stay."

"If Joshuji has no issue with it," Jeonghan shrugged, casting a glance at your boyfriend.

"Yeah, no problem," Joshua responded, but his brow was slightly furrowed.

You giddily crawled on the bed, slumping down on the pillows face down. Joshua quickly occupied a place by your side, cupping cheek with one hand to press a loving kiss on your forehead.

"Sure you're okay, baby?" he asked, scanning your face and your body inquisitively.

"I'll be fine, Josh," you rolled your eyes but a small giggle spilled from your lips.

"Mkay," he replied, pressing his lips in a tight smile.

Jeonghan however, slid onto the large bed with some reluctance, occupying your other side. You shifted your body so you could look at him, an arm tucked beneath his head.

He felt your gaze before he could turn and look at you. "What?"

"You owe me a scrunchie."

Jeonghan closed his eyes slowly, a sly smile appearing on his face. "No, I don't," he mumbled. "Go to sleep."

"You first," you replied in the same fashion.

A heavy arm hugged you from behind. Joshua cuddled his body against yours, pressing a kiss on your hair. "Go to sleep, baby," he said, smiling softly on your cheek before littering it with kisses.

Like a work of magic, you were gently swept away by a very heavy slumber.

You felt like hours had passed since you shut your eyes until something pulled you from your dream. You turned in the bed, following the faint sounds of Joshua snoring softly beside you. He was sleeping in an odd position, and you realized the pillow had moved and was about to fall onto the floor.

You reached out for it, carefully placing it beside his head.

"Joshua," you whispered, trying not to wake the other man lying on the other side of the bed beside you. "Babe, use your pillow."

"Mm?" Joshua lazily pushed his eyebrows up, opening his eyes slightly.

"Baby, use your pillow. You were snoring," you smiled softly, feeling something tug in your insides.

He just looked so cute, pouting his lips as he nodded. "'m sorry," he mumbled and placed his head on the pillow before continuing on his deep sleep.

You laid back on the bed and curiously eyed Jeonghan, who had his eyes open and focused on you.

"Did I wake you?" you asked shyly.

"No," he whispered. "I can't sleep," he explained briefly.

"Oh. Same," you sighed a smile, your heart skipping a beat over the sense of familiarity you felt whenever you were reminded that Jeonghan is just a bad sleeper as you are.

There was a restlessness in his gaze as the man that you had come to call a best friend swallowed thickly. A lithe hand came to your face and grazed his knuckles on your cheek.

His touch startled you at first, but you welcomed it, leaning your cheek against his touch.

"Is this okay?" he asked softly.

"'s okay, Jeongjeong," you replied with a small smile. "Are you okay, though? This might have been too much."

"I'm okay, princess," he mumbled with ease, but his gaze remained shifty.

"Sure?" you mouthed, his eyes were on your lips already, so he nodded.

The moment grew quieter, Jeonghan removed his hand from your cheek, licking his lips as he appeared to be considering something inside his head.

"Stay still," he whispered.

You held in a breath, closing your eyes when his face moved closer to yours, and waited.

His lips grazed yours, capturing them ever so slowly, giving you a tender kiss that made a small grunt bubble in his chest.

Your hand cupped his cheek, diving for a deeper kiss, feeling his tongue on yours. His palm pressed against the back of your hand, his fingers encircling it briefly before pulling his head back.

"Did you... like it?" he asked, seeming to be curious as well. "Was it what you wanted?"

"You know I liked it, Jeongjeong," you smiled slowly at him, waiting for his smile.

But no, Jeonghan didn't smile, in fact, he didn't seem to be relaxing.

"Did you?" you asked shyly, your eyes trailing down to his mouth and then his eyes.

"Yeah, I did. I liked it," he mumbled sleepily.

"We should do it again sometime. Us three," you put in quickly and then looked away at the ceiling, feeling ashamed.

"You don't think your boyfriend will say no?" he mused, his voice merely a whisper.

"Why? I mean, I don't think so," you frowned, then added. "It's just sex, right?"

It grew quiet, so quiet that you barely couldn't hear Joshua's deep breathing. Jeonghan's eyes scanned your face again, but the restlessness only grew into something you couldn't quite place. His gaze darkened, and his lips tensed into a line.

"Right?" you asked again, your eyes reading his face, but you couldn't understand what you had said wrong.

Jeonghan sat up in the bed slowly and rose, throwing his hoodie and then putting his sweatpants on, he didn't look back at you.

"Jeonghan?" you called, sitting up in the bed when he crossed the room, walking out the door without saying a word.

You sat there, eyes fixated on the hotel room's door, hesitating on what to do. Your heart was beating frantically against your throat.

"Leave him be," Joshua mumbled sweetly behind you.

"Did you hear all that?" you asked, but didn't need an answer. You knew he did.

"I think Jeongjeong might have a crush on you, baby," he ran a hand on your back, his fingers caressing your bare skin lovingly.

"He doesn't," you brushed off. "He's just..." you stopped short of words.

"It's okay, baby," he whispered. "I don't mind if he does."

"But he's your friend!" you whispered.

"Our friend," he corrected. "So?"

"So, I don't want to hurt him," you mumbled awkwardly.

"Why would you?" he frowned.

"I'm with you, Joshua," you rolled your eyes annoyingly. "I can't be giving him false hope."

"Baby, you don't have to," he smiled, looking fondly at you.

"Are you actually saying what I think you're saying?" you asked dumbfoundedly.

Joshua appeared to be pensive for a second, and shrugged slightly. "I mean, he's been there for you this whole time," his tone was sweet, but cautious. "And you had grown really close, it would make sense that he feels something for you."

You stared at your boyfriend in utter bewilderment, but something more alarming made you think. Did you feel something for Jeonghan?

"I never... we never did anything or said anything," you whispered with a slight frown of confusion.

Joshua's smile reached his eyes. "I know, baby. That's not what I'm saying," he said and sat up in the bed and gently placed a finger under your chin. "Do you feel something for him, baby?"

"No. I don't know," you whispered, feeling your heart deflate painfully in your chest upon uttering those words. "I love you, Joshua."

"I know, that's not what I'm asking," he smiled slightly. "I'm just saying that it's not entirely wrong to have feelings for someone who's been there for you. Even if that someone happens to be my best friend."

Your breath hitched and took his hand that was holding your chin. "Should I go talk to him?" you whispered.

"If you want to," he replied in the same manner. "I think he needs time right now... and you do too."

Your eyebrows knitted, breathing was hard, the pain in your chest becoming worse. "What?"

"I think you feel something for him, baby," he whispered, pressing his fingers on your chin.

"I don't," you muttered, but your eyes had started to water.

"Are you sure?" he asked, frowning slightly. "Baby, I know you. I've seen the way you look at him."

You choked back a sob and immediately denied shaking your head. "I'd never do something like that to you."

"Baby, listen to me," he muttered, his hand cupping your chin tensed slightly, commanding your eyes on him. "I am not judging you. I just need the truth."

Taking a few deep breaths, almost sobbing as your mind spun over the situation. You knew you couldn't deny it to Joshua or to yourself any longer.

"Maybe I do feel something for Jeonghan," you confessed, the realization making your breath hitch.

Nothing could have prepared you for his reaction.

Joshua recoiled, as if he had suddenly been slapped, then blinked rapidly, his big brown eyes dimming a little. You knew his feelings were hurt and you immediately wanted to take it back, to pause your whole life and reevaluate what you were actually saying to him.

"It's okay," he breathed, sushing you when you couldn't contain your tears anymore and started to cry. "It's okay, baby. It is. I understand."

"Wait, please, please," you mumbled, grabbing his arm with one hand as you tried to steady yourself, becoming light headed over the surge of emotions invading you.

"I'm not going anywhere," he muttered, looking at you with a worried look on his face. "Baby, breathe."

You inhaled deeply, your eyes itching because of the tears that kept on coming. "I'm sorry, Joshua."

"What for?" he whispered, his brow furrowing as he gathered your tears with the back of his fingers. "Don't apologize. Not for that."

"But I feel like I'm hurting you and I don't want to do that," you choked back a sob.

Joshua frowned a little, almost as if he were putting his thoughts together, and laid them out for you slowly: "It was me who told him to get closer to you, because I've been away and we both barely talk, I know you would feel lonely and I didn't want that for you."

"But this isn't your fault."

"It's no one's fault," he shook his head slightly. "There's nothing to blame here."

You looked at him, trying to decipher what was going on in his mind. "What are you saying?"

"Jeonghan and I are very similar," he said with an empty smile. "It doesn't seem strange to me that he grew feelings for you. You're fun, smart, beautiful."

Joshua said this with a vague expression on his face, almost as if he were putting the pieces inside his brain, as he himself was realizing how he felt about the situation. "And by that, I also don't find it strange that you have feelings for him," he decided.

You felt the features of your face relax, but the morose and cold feeling seizing your heart didn't go away. "It's entirely platonic," you said shakily.

That made Joshua smile with a glint of fondness in his eyes. "Baby, I know that you love me," he replied with certainty. "And I know that you having feelings for Jeonghan doesn't affect what is ours."

You read his eyes for a second as you were letting the words sink, you nodded slowly. "I love you, Joshua," you whispered, leaning so that your forehead touched his.

"And I love you, bunny."

✮ yet another long author's note: heyoooo THEY DID IT!!!! THEY CROSSED THAT BRIDGE, JOSHUA OVERCAME HIS POSSESSIVENESS (or did he?) 👀👀👀 as you may or may not know my bias is Jeonghan and my wrecker is Joshua (⸝⸝ᵕᴗᵕ⸝⸝) so i am doing this purely to satisfy my brain, but i guess that if you want to indulge with me you are more than welcomed to do so OKAY NOW I NEED TO EXPLAIN AGAIN this is the last part belonging to city lights! take this as the finale! AND THIS IS CANON OKAY yes, i'm sorry for those that didn't want a threesome 😭🫠🫠 NOW LET ME EXPLAIN A FEW THINGS. bunny's story doesn't end here. i decided to make a city lights season two! but i'm going to take a break from writing this fic for a short while and focus on my other projects!! so city lights is going on a short break and will be coming back under a different title!! so be on the lookout for that one! 👀 i hope this explains everything AND I DON'T WANNA SEE ANY OF YOU IN THE COMMENTS SAYING THAT CITY LIGHTS IS OVER OR WHATEVER BECAUSE IT'S NOT TRUE! ᕙ( •̀ᗝ•́)ᕗ sorry i didn't mean to yell at you i love you all! toodles!

buy me a coffee? 🩵👉🏻👈🏻

© RIGHTS RESERVED TO HANNIEWEEN I DO NOT ALLOW TRANSLATIONS, CONTINUATIONS, REIMAGINATIONS OF MY WORKS OR THEIR REPOSTING ON OTHER WEBSITES.

[cowgurrrl]

Creative things I did today (this may become a series)

1. Some arts and crafts for pride :D

2. Read a chapter of my book, Girls to the Front by Sara Marcus, which is about riot grrrl and how women revolutionized punk music

3. Wrote a little bit (OFTM-verse: Actors on Actors with reader and Carolina and finding out you’re pregnant with the girls, WYLITD-verse: quickly dialogue and some more plot development) and went through my Graveyard (and found some lost, unhinged OFTM dialogue which you can find under the cut)

4. Learned how to play the first little bit of Like Real People Do on my brothers guitar

I don’t get to be creative every day but today felt especially good and like I got my brain moving!!!

[almadelsur]

💋 The Secrets One Keeps

summary: You're in love with jj but he's with kie, so in moments of pure desperation you often find yourself turning to the person he hates the most...rafe

warnings: some good old angsty pining, very very slight smut if you squint, fem!reader, one or two uses of y/n, plz let me know if I missed anything

a/n: SHE'S BACKKKK, so I've decided to completely reformat and re-post this fic with a few tweaks and editing considering i first wrote this like 3 years ago, and yes for those of you who have been asking, I fully intend to finallly continue this fic....more info on that later ;)

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・

JJ’s eyes change the moment Kiara steps into any room. Immediately his presence is ripped away from your immediate atmosphere, popping the little bubble you'd spent all afternoon crafting as he sprung up to greet the olive-skinned enigma that captured his affections.

“Kie!” The joy in his tone was incomparable to anything he’d directed at anybody else. Nothing could draw out such happiness from the blonde. You hated that about her.

In an attempt at self-defense, your brain shut itself off. Shielding you from processing the scene in front of you, your emotions ran cold like cement pouring down and across your neurons. It was the only way you could survive such a beating to your heart.

You figured that by distancing yourself mentally, you wouldn’t have to raise suspicion and distance yourself physically. In reality, you knew the real reasoning was your inability to stay away from JJ but the facade helped you cope.

“Hey J” she embraced him and his body relaxed around her as if she was the only source of his happiness. The only way he’d find alleviation from what he perceived as a shitty life being through her. “Sorry I’m late my parents had me running like crazy at the wreck today.”

Scattered greetings filled the air from the rest of the pogues, yet you could only focus on the way his eyes fixated on her like she was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.

“Here come sit baby” he offered her the seat he had just previously been place holding. What you thought had been quality time with your best friend, presented itself to you now as momentary attention to pass the time until his actual desire arrived.

Settling herself down and offering you a wide smile, her shoulder bumped against yours gently as a sign of acknowledgment.

“Hey dude” she directed at you, but you didn’t reply. You just couldn’t bring yourself to pretend. Not today anyway. Instead, you offered her a small smile, it was minimal but it was the best you could do under the circumstances.

“Yo" A crumpled tissue paper flew at your head, jj attempting to refocus your attention on him, "didn’t you say you were gonna get some water or something?” He spoke up, the scheme evident in his tone.

“um yeah I guess” You lifted yourself up and took a few steps before jj used the opportunity to slump himself down where you had been sat and sprawled his arms across his girlfriend’s shoulders.

“snooze ya loose sucker” he joked as he turned to Kiara to start up some mindless conversation. Leaving you behind in the dust.

Your teeth gritted as you focused on making your way to the kitchen hoping the distance from the scene unfolding would lift the iron grip on your heart.

You made the fatal mistake of glancing back and you were met with the image of jj nuzzling up to kiara in a picturesque display of love. The lump building at the base of your throat indicated that it was your time to get the hell out of there before you broke down in front of everyone. 

“Shit guys, y’know what I just realized I gotta go” You spoke quickly, your tone matching your pace as you rushed to the exit of the chateau. 

“You’re still coming to the party later though right?” John B asked, not tearing his eyes away from the screen in front of him. 

“Mhm yeah sure” you opened the door ready to depart. 

“Shit I forgot about that! Me and jj are gonna be late, we got dinner at the wreck tonight.” kiara added as you stepped out, unable to control the escape of a rogue tear.

“Date night babyyyy” You heard JJ cheer before you slammed the door behind you. 

“Is Y/N okay? She seemed a bit off.” Kie nudged JJ as she questioned. 

JJ furrowed his eyebrows momentarily. Glancing out the window, he saw you jog away from the house, and a brief flash of worry flashed through his mind. As quick as it came, it dissipated. He shook his head figuring that if there had been something wrong, he’d have been the first to know. 

“Nah she’s okay don't worry.” he offered to kie.

Boy was he mistaken. 

——————————————————————

“Fuuuck me” you moaned out, sinking into him one last time. You were hot, sweaty, and heaving as you pulled him out of you.

“I thought I just did” Rafe taunted leaning back to lie down, arms crossed behind his head causing his taut abdomen to flex.

You scrambled off the bed, picking up your garments and shoving them back on your body forcefully.

“What, no pillow talk?” He tried again.

“Rafe..” you trailed off. Whenever you’d finish fucking, you’d struggle to even look at him. The self-hatred flooded your body as soon as the orgasm poured out.

“Hey you called me” he eyed you intently but you knew he didn’t actually care. To rafe cameron everything was just a game. At this point it was pretty much common knowledge. “In fact” he moved closer to you so that he could speak directly into your ear “It’s always you that calls me.”

“Don’t be a dick” you stood up and eyed your heels contemplating whether you could face the walk back in them. “You know it makes me feel like shit.” It might have sounded brutal but that’s how things were with rafe.

“Yeah, it’s like you punctuate your orgasms with self-hate.”

“I'm a pogue, rafe.” You argued back as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“So? Kooks and pogues can fuck you know.” You couldn’t comprehend why you were even having this conversation. Why now, why tonight.

“Yeah maybe, not you though.” You didn’t want to tell him the reason explicitly.

“I fuck pogues.”

“You fuck anyone.” The words came out almost instantly and without thinking, yet rafe took no offense.

“Exactly so what’s the issue?”

“The issue is, rafe.” You paused trying to find the words without actually having to say the words. “The issue is that if my friends found out they’d hate me, probably more than I already hate myself.”

He just chuckled, the look in his eyes changing as he figured you out.

“What's funny?” You challenged.

“You don’t have to bullshit me princess.” He looked up at you with a devilish glint in his eye. “You just don’t want jj knowing about your little escapades huh?” Bingo.

“He’s with Kiara.” You shrugged him off.

“Uh huh, you like him but you can’t have him.” Every word he spoke striking a nerve deep within you. “So you’re fucking me to fuck him over.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” You grabbed your heels and shoved them on, wincing as you buckled them up.

“Don’t I?” He threw his joggers on lazily as he stood, the level dynamics changing significantly. The older boy towered over you. “Where are they tonight?”

“Back at John B’s, we had a little get-together.” You crossed your arms. More often than not you usually called rafe after a few drinks left you feeling lonely. “Sorry, your invite must have gotten lost in the mail.” You attempted to jab at him with sarcasm yet he clearly held the upper hand with his line of questioning. 

“So all of them are there now?” He stepped towards you.

“Mhm,” You lied.

“Even jj?” Moving closer until your neck was craned upwards to meet his eyes.

Taking your silence as an answer, he reached up and ran his palms across your upper arms, prompting you to uncross them.

“He was uh- him and kie should be getting there soon” You mumbled.

“So would i be wrong in guessing, that might have prompted your call then?” You let yourself be guided by his movements leaning your neck further back as his hand trailed up to your jawbone.

“rafe…” you called out insignificantly.

He leaned in and pressed his lips against your neck, right over where he could feel your pulse, and pressed down.

You couldn’t help the gasp that left your mouth. Because as much as your heart belonged to jj, rafe was just so fucking good at raising your temperature.

“Round two?” He mumbled against your neck.

“Yeah..” you attempted yet it came out as a whisper. He grabbed you swiftly and lifted you, moving you across the room and throwing you down onto his bed, crawling on top of you in a predatory manner as he did so. As your back hit the bed, the ringing of your phone brought you back from the haze he had you under. 

“Wait rafe stop stop” you pushed him off and grabbed the screeching mobile, pressing it up to your ear. “Hello?”

“Dude, where are you?” The sound of jj’s voice came through over the pumping sound of music and party chatter. “Me and Kie just got back and John B says no one’s seen you for like over an hour.”

“Oh I’m uh, I had to go do something for my mom” The lie pouring out of your mouth caused rafe to chuckle which was of course met by a slap from you signaling for him to be quiet.

“Oh well, when are you getting back? I have to tell you about this date. You’re gonna be so proud of me I actually think I’m ready to tell Kie I love her” you screwed your eyes shut as he spoke.

“Yeah I- you know what I can’t make it back my mom needs me to stay and help out but uh I’ll see you tomorrow or something.” You hung up before he could even reply, throwing your phone down uncaring of its state.

“What’s wrong? They getting hitched?” Rafe spoke up from behind you.

You turned to Rafe, the fire in your veins pushing your arms to grab him, roughly pulling him back onto you.

“Just shut up and fuck me rafe.”

And fuck you he did.

——————————————————————

The next morning you woke up to the sight of rafe’s bare back. Not much of a cuddler, you figured.

Quietly you pushed the covers off and began to dress yourself back up. As you got to your shoes you sighed and shook your head, as if there was any way in hell you were going to walk home in heels. You scooped up your shoes and your now-cracked phone shaking your head, slightly ashamed at your outburst.

Without even a second glance at the sleeping body you were leaving behind, you made your way over to the door. As you turned the knob and stepped out to leave, a husky voice spoke up.

“I’ll keep my ringer on for you babe.”

You rolled your eyes looking back at him, “Fuck you rafe.”

“Yeah, that’s what I’m counting on.” He didn’t even open his eyes as he answered, instead just rustling around in the bed and turning to the other side, once again facing his back to you.

You scoffed as you exited. Your internal rant clouded your vision, body on autopilot with an excellent self-navigation of the Cameron house from the countless times you’d made this exit.

“Y/N?” The gentle voice wiped your thoughts clean as the shock stilled you dead in your tracks, slowly turning to come face to face with none other than Sarah.

“Sarah” you drawled out. “What are you doing here?”

“It’s my house?” Her head was cocked to the side, equally shocked to see you.

“No I just mean- I thought you were spending the night at John B’s.” You forced the small talk, avoiding the topic of why you were here, sneaking out at 8 in the morning.

“He had to work today, did you spend the night here?” She glanced up at the door of rafe’s bedroom.

“Umm-“ There had only been two other instances where you had been at a complete loss for words. The day jj told you he and Kiara were dating, the morning after your first sexual encounter with rafe, and now this.

“Are you sleeping with my brother?!” She whisper-shouted, eyes wide as the realization hit her. Busted.

“No?”

“Oh my god!” She grabbed you by the wrist and dragged you to her room, slamming the door as soon as you were both inside. “How long has this been going on?!” Her tone was loud and her hands wild as she interrogated you.

“Just a little under a year.” You sat on her bed and looked at your lap as you spoke. Reminiscent of a child being scolded.

“A year?! Oh my god!” She repeated. “Who knows about this?!”

With that, you looked up at her desperately. “No one. No one knows so please don’t tell them.” You didn’t have to name names for her to know who you were referring to.

“Are you two like” she paused “together?” She scrunched her nose up, disgusted at the thought of her bully of an older brother dating anyone.

“No god no. It’s just sex” you were just as uncomfortable as Sarah was, having to tell her about boning her older brother.

“Disgusting.” She turned away from you with her arms crossed, looking out the window.

“Look I’m not proud of it okay? Just-“ You sighed “Just please don’t tell anyone” pleading again.

Sarah let out a long sigh and uncrossed her arms. She walked over to you and joined you on the bed, her eyes showing concern mixed with something you couldn’t quite place your finger on.

“I thought you were into jj” she spoke softly, there it was. Pity.

“Yeah well, jj is with kie and instead of sitting around wallowing in self-pity, I decided to do something about it.” As the words left your mouth, you realized how weak the explanation was.

“So you just use rafe to bang the jj out of you.”

“It’s not like Rafe cares, if anything he’s also using me.” You tried to reason.

“I don’t doubt that. But I mean, that’s- It’s not healthy, you’ll never move on if you don’t actually process your emotio-“

“Look Sarah, I don’t need to do any of that shit okay? What I have here works, when I fu- when I’m with rafe, I don’t think about jj.” Tears began to swell in your eyes “Sleeping with rafe helps me forget about everything, even if it’s only for a little while he uh- he makes me feel good.” To an extent, there was truth behind your words, while you and rafe fucked the rest of the world went away. It was only after, that the crippling self-hatred hit you along with the return of your immense feelings for jj. 

Sarah shuffled over and threw her arm around you. “That’s not good for you, it’s just momentary. It’s easy and it's a cycle, you’re never going to get better going down this path. Especially not with rafe.”

“Rafe he’s- he’s not that bad.”

“Yes he is. But i bet it gives you satisfaction fucking him knowing jj hates him. Feels like revenge right?” She’d always been so perceptive your Sarah, you hated how she could see right through you.

Tears ran down your cheek silently. “You’re not gonna tell anyone right?” You sniffled.

She gave you one of those classic salt-of-the-earth Sarah Cameron smiles, the kinda smile that would light up any room she walked into. “Takin' it to the grave babe.”

A loud beeping caused both your heads to whip towards the window. “Shit, I completely forgot I was supposed to go on the HMS with pope and jj, we were gonna chill there until John B and Kie finished work.” She rose to her feet and extended an arm towards you. “Wanna come? Or we could drop you home if you’re not up for it.”

With a sigh you took her hand and pulled yourself up, walking beside her as you mentally prepped yourself to face the blonde you desperately pined for.

“Well rise and shine campers.” jj yelled out of the window of the drivers seat.

“Y/N! Where you been dude? you totally bailed last night.” Pope was next to speak as you and Sarah filed into the Twinkie. As JJ began to drive you avoided any form of eye contact in his general direction.

“I had to go help my mom out, blackout at mine again.” You didn’t even look at pope either, instead focusing your attention on the blur of trees and houses pacing by the window as JJ sped down the winding roads.

“Isn’t that what you were wearing last night?” pope, observant as always, pointed out.

“Uh yeah, I didn’t really get any time to change cause…”

“I called her last night when I got home, I was so drunk I don’t think I was ready to stop the party.” Sarah covered for you.

“Yeah I wrapped up helping my mom out and then this one calls me talkin bout a sleepover or something so I didn’t exactly have much time to change.” 

Thankfully pope had lost interest as soon as he had asked the question, otherwise, your overcompensating ass would have been caught out straight away. You always had to add to the lie until you felt like you had sold it completely.

Keeping your eyes trained on the outside meant that jj’s frown directed at you through the windscreen mirror went completely undetected. He always knew whenever there was something up with you and right there and then he knew something definitely was.

“Hey, you okay?” He didn’t need to address you explicitly for you to know he was talking to you.

“Yeah just tired.” You shrugged him off in an attempt to distance yourself from him yet again.

He knew you were lying but he didn’t understand why, you never lied to each other. Apart from John B, the pair of you were closer to each other than with anybody else in the group. You’d been best friends since kindergarten, and since then you’d sworn 3 things to each other.

1- You’d always share your snacks.

2-You’d always be best friends even if you argued.

 3- You would never ever lie or keep secrets from each other.

Of course, as the both of you grew older the rules became more and more lax. The snack sharing was limited only to when you felt nice enough and sometimes you’d go for days without making up if you had argued particularly badly. Having kept two friendship-breaking secrets from him, the childhood rules seemed pretty insignificant by now.

“Mhm,” he responded, flickering his eyes between you and the road. “Are we taking you home to change first?”

“Yeah, I don’t know if I’ll join you guys afterward though.” You chewed down on your nail anxiously as the tension from being in the same space as jj paired with the guilt from having fucked rafe prior, suffocated you.

JJ made a face as he focused on the road, something was wrong with you and he’d be dammed if he wasn’t going to put his everything into finding out what that was.

[inkskinned]

it's been said before and i'm sure said better than i can phrase it. but really, really - if you like making "i'm going to kill myself" jokes, please try switching to being ironically conceited instead.

anytime something goes wrong, say things like "ah well at least i'm beautiful and charming and everyone loves me." when you forget something, try "my big huge brain is so smart and thinking about too many other very big wizardly thoughts you wouldn't even understand." when you're frustrated by one of your symptoms, start talking like you're in My Immortal. "Life has come for me but my eyes are beautiful pools of gorgeous fire and my hair is amazing. I stuck my middle finger up at life and told it to fuck off and it did."

just... try it for a month or two. try saying the most absurdly self-congratulatory shit you can think of.

i know it's tempting to make suicide or self-harm jokes. and for me at least, a decade ago (!) when someone suggested i stop making those kinds of jokes, i was kind of at a loss for what to replace them with. i wanted to make light of these moments, but genuinely (at the time) my first thought really was suicidal ideation. there was a part of me that even felt like ... i was kind of "making light" of that voice. that if i could say i want to die lol, it would help take the sting out of that genuine (albeit passive) desire. like i could turn my illness into a joke.

when i started complimenting myself instead, it felt awkward and stupid. it felt really, really ironic. what i was actually saying was nobody would ever think this stuff about me, that's what makes it so fucking funny.

but. the effect was immediate. first thing i noticed was the people around me. when i dropped a glass and said ah my skin is too beautiful and sleek the glass has swooned and broken for me, other people were suddenly overjoyed to jump in with the joke. rather than making an awkward moment, we'd both start cracking up. ah princess sleek hands, i've heard of you.

i was 19. i hadn't noticed i'd been making others tense when i said i want it all to end. i know now that it's incredibly hard to know how to walk that moment - do you talk to them about your concern? do you potentially make them uncomfortable by asking if they're okay? do you ignore the situation? do you help them pick up the glass, or do they need to do it by themselves? are they genuinely made suicidal over this small moment? and most importantly, how do you - without professional training or supplies - actually help?

most people want to help you pick up the glass in your life, they just have no fucking idea how to do it. they don't want to make anything worse. they don't want to make assumptions about you. they love you, they're scared for you - and being scared makes people kind of freeze up. it's not because they don't love you. it's because they do.

now when something bad happens, my first thought is how can i make a stupid joke about this. it isn't my brain saying you're a dumb fucking bitch. i spend more time laughing. i spend more time being gentle with myself. i spend more time feeling good.

and the thing is - what's kind of funny - is that you'd be surprised by how many people agree with you. the first time i said i'm too pretty to understand that, someone else said to be fair you're the prettiest person in this room. i promise - you really don't know how kindly your friends see you. but they love you for a reason. they sort of reverse-velveteen-rabbit you. your weird and ugly spots fade away and you just become... the love they want to give you.

go love yourself ironically. the worst thing that happens is that you end up tricking your reflection into actually loving you.

[scorpiosbite]

the time actress!reader mentioned obx in her interview

𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 ────୨ৎ──── while the obx cast were together in drew’s hotel room madelyn in her ever obsession of game of thrones brought up that you had mentioned how much you love obx in an interview. causing them to watch the interview together.

𝜗𝜚 pairing: actress!reader x drew starkey

author’s note: this takes place in 2023 during the filming of obx 4 and 3 weeks after the first time they watched the show together. at this point of my timeline the cast have watched the entire first season of game of thrones.

drew was scrolling through his phone, you had followed him back on instagram a week ago and he was on the moon. though he hadn’t messaged you yet. unsure on what to say to you. drew prided himself on being a confident man yet, your ability to make him nervous through a screen was unprecedented.

while stalking your profile for the umpteenth time he found himself wondering about you yet again. your limited amount of posts made you even more intriguing to him. he wondered what kind of person you are. what things made you tick, whether you would stare up at him with those siren eyes, whether you moaned or whimpered during sex, whether your face scrunched up and your mouth hung open as your chest heaved like it did in your sex scene that hasn’t left his brain since the moment he watched it.

just as he fell into a spiral of thoughts about you madelyn spoke up from her seat across the room, drawing the attention of everyone else, and drew was suddenly reminded that he wasn’t alone in his room. “oh my fucking god! i forgot to tell you guys!” she was staring down at her phone. but drew was having trouble focusing on her, still consumed in his thoughts of you.

the others, however, had no problem driving their attention to her, so drew remained in his bubble staring at the most recent post on your profile, a vogue magazine cover from three months ago, of you, seated, legs spread on the iron throne with the sword dark sister held in your hands standing between your legs, the crown of aegon the conquerer tilted on your head, the lace thigh high socks with garters disappearing under the skirt of your tight mini dress and the bold red coating your lips enticing him further.

it wasn’t till he heard your name slip from madelyn’s lips, was his attention torn from the captivating sight on his screen. “wait, what you just say?” madelyn smirked “of course, only when i say y/n’s name, do you listen.” drew blushed lightly. but didn’t make the move to defend himself, after all they would be right, he had been distracted from the moment he saw you in all your glory stealing the screen.

“what i was saying that y/n mentioned obx in an interview, just pass me the remote, i’ll show you.” drew’s heart rate spiked, the thought of you having seen him in his element, doing his job, made him self conscious in a way that he wasn’t ready to admit. once madelyn had the video loaded on the screen, drew was once again struck by how effortlessly beautiful you are. dressed in simple black pants and an off-shoulder cream long sleeve top, brown boots disappearing under your pants and simple gold hoop earrings, your brunette hair loose and following in natural waves. drew looked at your empty neck and thought how good you would look if there was a necklace with his initial hanging there, branding you as his.

madelyn skipped through the video until the moment you were talking. the interviewer asked you and your cast-mate what shows you watch during your down time when filming, your voice rang through the silent room and drew was struck once again by how attractive your accent sounded, your british accent deep and sultry but more casual than the tone you use when playing visenya. “oh, well mimi and i love outer banks a lot, to the point where we quote it on set quite often. i think we’ve annoyed everyone.” you laughed and drew thought about how he wanted to hear that sound for the rest of his life.

your cast mate and best friend, mimi who plays arianne martell laughed and agreed and the interviewer who was surprised by your answer said that obx was one of her favourite shows too. your face immediately brightened as you watched her intently as she spoke about the show. what drew would give to have you look at him like that.

madelyn paused the video and drew knew that once everyone had left his room he was going to watch the entire video. “that’s so cool!” jd gasped. “i know right? that’s so crazy that she’s seen our show.” madison replied. but drew couldn’t bring himself to speak, he wondered what you thought of him after watching his performance. he wondered if you had the same all consuming thoughts he had about you, about him.

“i followed her when i first watched the show and she followed me back, but after seeing that clip a week ago i messaged her and we’ve been talking back and forth ever since, she’s so fucking cool, it’s insane. i think we’re friends now!” madelyn raved. “you’re friends with her?!.” drew was baffled, how was madelyn just bringing this up, she has known about his developing crush for weeks. “ah, now you want to chime in drew?” “yes, we’re friends and she’s gonna be in la when we get back so i told her she should come hang out with us, what you guys think?”

drew’s heart felt like it was going a mile a minute, he was gonna meet you. what the fuck.

thank you for all the love on the first part i’m so grateful. and for everyone who wants to be added to the tag list i’m figuring out how to do that so please be patient with me. also please send me asks about this au i would love to do like a drew starkey x actress!reader thoughts thing, but let me know what you thought of this part!

[slytherinslut0]

SLYTHERINSLUT0’S RIDDLEMAS

dec 31st. tom riddle — breeding kink, raw sex.

RIDDLEMAS MASTERLIST. I 2024

summary: tom has a dream about fucking you raw, and decides it’s time he ditches the self-restraint.

warnings: 18+, SMUT MDNI, needy tom riddle, fingering, slight begging, desperate sex, PIV, creampie, incoherent babbling/dirty talk, breeding kink, literally the most feralized and needy and pathetic tom i have ever written .

You wake up to the feeling of Tom at your back, sometime within the early hours of the morning. 

Not an unusual occurrence, per say, but you're vaguely aware of the fact that the desperate way he's gripping your waist and pressing against you isn't just par for the course—something's off—and you don't get to wonder or question what exactly it is because within a second he's pressing his lips to your neck, murmuring your name, and stealing your cognitive function before you even get the chance to wake. 

"What—" you manage to get out, just as his hand slides up the front of your shirt and his lips continue mouthing against your neck. 

"Hm?" He murmurs, as if he's doing nothing unusual, as if you aren't completely aware he's pressed up against you like an animal in heat.

"Are you," you're struggling to get the words out as his lips graze the spot on the nape of your neck that makes your breath catch. "Okay?" 

He stills for a moment at that, before he makes an amused sound in the back of his throat, as if the question is almost funny somehow. "Should I not be?"

"I just...mmf—" a whole body shudder goes through you as his hand reaches the underside of your breasts; palming, squeezing. "You seem—different." 

"Different," he echos against your neck with a smile. "In what way?"

"Uh, needier—oh," his hand slips from your chest to the front of your pyjama pants, grinding his erection against your ass. "What's—gotten into you—"

"You, of course," he husks, and the fact that he can be cocky while he's practically pinning you to his chest is the perfect bloody summary of him. "Who else?"

"Well—I mean—" the words leave your lips in a hissing moan as his hand, that beautiful, steady hand—slips under your waistband and wastes no time in finding your clit, long fingers swirling tight little circles against it. "What—ohhh—" 

"You do know that you're asking way too many questions," he whispers, teeth nipping at your ear lobe as he runs his index and middle fingers down your slit. "I'd rather you be moaning my name as opposed to doing a million cross-examinations on my behaviour."

Well, that certainly shuts you up, at least on the verbal side of things—because the gasp that leaves your lips is not entirely something you can control, considering the fact that you're suddenly very aware of just how badly he seems to need you right now.

"I think that was progress," he croons between open-mouthed kisses, absentmindedly making you shiver and jerk as his fingers resume rubbing and massaging your clit. "Good girl." 

You whimper faintly at that, and you wish you could hate the way you react to the praise on principle only—but that's kind of hard to do when it's him, and he's doing the praising in the first place. So instead, you just try to keep any kind of higher brain function intact, regardless of it being a losing battle at this point.

"I just need you," he practically groans, and it's the strangest thing to hear him say when he's usually just fine being all smug and self-composed. "I need to feel you, now."

It's the closest thing to him pleading that you think you've ever heard, and the guttural moan you let out as he slips one of those long slender fingers inside your embarrassingly slick cunt is the closest thing to feral as you're sure you've ever been. 

"Need," you whimper as your hips jerk, and it takes an embarrassing amount of time to realize that it's a sound you've made and not some kind of vocal fry of his. "Need me, why?" 

He doesn't answer right away, not in words—just sucks your earlobe into his mouth in a way that makes you want to scream. "You're not usually this difficult." 

"M'tired." The argument is weak, at best, but you're not exactly in any kind of frame of mind to try and make sense of the situation. "And you're—intense—"

"Yes," he murmurs, that smug tone still needling your eternal irritation. "And if you must know, it really is because of you. I had a dream about you." He punctuates the sentence by slipping a second finger into your slick heat, and you barely manage to keep a whimpering moan inside that you just know he would love to hear. "Fuck. It was a beautiful dream." 

He bites at your ear again, and it occurs to you that the desperate edge to his voice might have something to do with just how good the dream of you felt—or how badly he'd clearly wanted it to be real. 

You suddenly need to hear every goddamn detail. 

"Felt you for once, without protection," he tells you, as if reading your mind, and you whimper at what you're pretty sure is a pretty profound confession. "Even better than I thought you'd feel—fuck—"

"You're not the only one who's thought about that," you manage to get out, and you're not even being coy about it—at this point you're simply trying to deal with the realization that Tom Riddle having a wet dream about you is apparently enough to turn you into a pathetic, drooling mess. "But you are the one who's always been insistent on using condoms."

Oh, the low growl he lets out at that is a dangerous sound—it's low and guttural and it makes you realize that there's a very real chance this is going to go somewhere you might have trouble walking away from. 

"Yes, well," he pauses, and you can practically feel the fire in his eyes. "I'm just realizing I might have been a bit of a fool."

"You, admitting you're a fool?" You somehow give a half-assed scoff at the idea as you try to hold onto your sanity. "I think hell just froze over."

He laughs at that—actually laughs, and it does strange things to your insides to have it directed at you. 

"Maybe I'm just in a very specific sort of mood." 

"Oh?" You manage to raise an eyebrow. "And what kind of mood is that?"

"The kind of mood," he says, in an almost growl that you're trying to interpret through the haze of trying not to moan, "where I throw all reason out the window. The kind of mood where I forget all self-restraint."

"That's a dangerous thing, coming from you," you choke out, because that is true, but you're only half-thinking through your words before you say them, half your brain stolen by the curling of his fingers inside you, massaging your slick walls. "You don't usually—"

"Never," he cuts you off, like he's fully aware of just how different this is and trying not to admit it. "Until you."

Well, you don't know what to say to that—because you know him, and you know he doesn't usually lose himself in things like this, not like he's apparently doing now. 

"Oh?" You gasp, as his thumb sweeps over your clit, making your eyes roll. "So I've made you reckless." 

His answer comes in the form of a low, grunting sound of agreement, his grip on your body shifting a bit as he pulls you back tighter to his chest, rutting his erection against your ass. 

"You've done more than that," he murmurs with a sigh right in your ear as his slick fingers slip out to draw wet little circles against your clit. "Fuck it. I need to feel you—please, let me fuck you right. No protection."

Oh sweet Mother of Merlin.

There were a lot of words in that sentence that you were fucking sure, just a minute ago, were entirely out of the question for him. Not a soul on god’s green earth could have prepared you for the feeling that utterance just invoked—and you can't help but let out a helpless, wanton groan in response—his fingers driving you directly to the very edge of climax—

"I need a word out of you," he grits, and you realize then that you're both at the mercy of something he can only half control as he ruts against you again, his fingers slowing as if he's edging you— "please." 

You wish you could give him something teasing, snarky, maybe even witty. Something to needle him for just how beside himself he is, something to call him out for the feralized broken thing he's seemingly been reduced to. 

But you can't, because your climax is right there, and he's moving his fingers too slow, denying you of it on purpose—

"Yes," you whimper, the word like an answer to a prayer you hadn't even known you were praying for, and you realize somewhere behind your consciousness that you're desperate and aching inside for so many reasons, all of them because of him. "Please, fuck. Please, do it—I need—to cum—"

And at those words—that plea—the need in them, there's no stopping the sound that tears itself out of his throat, and before you can even think he's jerking your pyjama pants off your thighs—

"Wanna feel it—" he hisses as he frees himself next, tugging you against him and lifting your thigh toward your head. "Need to feel you cum when I'm inside you."

Oh, and at this point you're begging that you'll survive this. 

You're at his mercy, as you've been before, but in a completely different way—one that seems to be fueled by whatever animalistic thing is driving him today, and you're left with no defense besides the knowledge that he's doing this because if he didn't, he may just lose his goddamn mind. 

And for as much trouble you generally get into by enjoying him being cocky and in control of the narrative, this—this is something you've never once experienced. Tom on the edge of falling completely apart in his need for you, desperation and need taking a front seat to his usual restraint and control.

He's between your thighs before you can blink, and then he's pushing in. "Oh, fuck."

It's a sensation that's completely different when there's no barrier between you, and you're pretty sure that if it wasn't for the fact that the animal in his chest has risen to the surface, taking you by the throat, you would have gasped out in a moan so loud it woke the entire fucking country—but somehow, someway, you manage to tame it. 

His face buries in the crook of your shoulder, and it's a sound of guttural relief as his breath goes shaky and unsteady right in your ear.

"Feels so good," he whispers as he sinks in—as his thick, throbbing dick disappears into your greedy cunt. "Too good."

'Too good' feels like the exact wrong thing to say right now, at least in your mind, because you're pretty sure you'll take the fact that this feels so good you're scared it might kill you to your grave. 

"Oh my god." You manage to get out the words through the haze, and you're barely even sure what you're saying, your head thrown back against his shoulder, his arm coming up to wrap around your throat. "Oh my god, Tom." 

He responds with a shaky curse of your name, and you’re absolutely certain somewhere in you is exploding, something in your gut is coiled so tight it's like holding in the biggest possible secret of the world that you're desperate to scream to someone—

"So wet. So tight. I'm never starving myself of this again." It's a confession that steals your breath, and you struggle to keep breathing, struggling with trying to keep your world from spinning away as he starts to make shallow, languid thrusts into you, free hand slipping down to your clit. "Let me feel it. Let me feel it all."

You keen. "Fuck! Please."

It's the only word you can manage in a half-hysterical moan, your hand grabbing onto the one he's wrapped around your throat as if he's saving you from certain destruction, as if he's the only lifeline you'll ever find—and maybe, you think that's okay, because you're so used by him in so many ways that right now you don't even want another.

"T-tom—" his fingers swirl your clit in perfect time with his thrusts and you're clenching so tight your entire body is almost stiff. "Tommmm—I'm fucking—"

His teeth bite down on your shoulder with such ferocity you'd think he wanted it to bleed, and you're not even sure it's intentional as his body tenses against yours, tugging you back like he's trying to crush you into his chest. 

"Yes. Yes," he hisses again, and it's broken. "Please give it to me."

'Please give it to me' are the best five words you've ever heard from his mouth, you think with the quarter of your brain that’s still functioning—and it's like you've been waiting for permission without realizing it, because you feel fireworks going off behind your eyes a moment later. 

"Oh fuckk! Yes, yes, oh!" 

You cry out, so loud you'd be nervous about someone hearing you if the pleasure wracking your body wasn't so powerful you're pretty sure you're going to feel it all the way into next week—and there's a sound like something coming undone against your skin as his teeth dig deeper into your shoulder, a sound that's like a low, guttural moan of your name before he shutters something in half-broken words you're not even sure he's meant to.

"Oh yes—god, you're tight—fuck—"

You can't answer him, but it doesn't matter, because a moment later it's all painfully forgotten with the way he lets out another moan against your shoulder—

"That’s it, sweetheart. That’s it. Just like that."

It's the pet name that does something to your insides, twisting them up in a way you can't quite parse through the haze, but it's enough in the moment to make tears prick unbidden at the corner of your eyes as he jerks against you, his breaths coming in shaky, heavy pants against your skin as his own climax draw closer, and there's no way this wasn't something you both needed that neither knew how to ask for. 

"Tom," you manage to whimper, and it sounds like a prayer of your own creation. "Tom—"

It's like he needed to hear you moan his name like that in a way that's primal—because in that moment his hand moves from your neck to your hair, and he clenches his fist into it, pulling, and it's enough to make a shattered moan force its way out of your chest and up to your throat. 

"M'close. Mmm. So fucking close," he hisses against your skin. "M'gonna—fill this tight cunt."

And god, it should be alarming, because you've always been careful, careful, careful—because you've always known the risks, the consequences, but right now you're having a hard time remembering why you ever thought it was a terrible, terrible idea to let him do this. 

"You're—Tom—you—"

"I know,” he groans, and it's like a plea, as if you're saying something out loud that he doesn't want to admit he knows— "just take it. Let me—fucking breed you."

There's a moment where your chest seems to constrict violently at that, where you're almost sure you must have a heart condition because it feels like skipping a beat is the under-explanation of the century, but it's gone as quickly as it came, and god if it wasn't as profoundly hot as you know it shouldn't be. 

“Jesus—Tom—“ there're a lot of things you know you should be saying, things you'd planned to say—or not do, as the case may be—but the only thing that leaves your lips at this moment is, “please."

And he doesn't know if it's a plea or a prayer, but either way it’s all the same because there’s no stopping the sound that leaves his lips as your answer sinks into his brain, as the meaning sinks into his bones: the low, guttural, primal sound of a man losing pieces of himself in something that he doesn't care to stop. 

"Oh—" he chokes out. "Oh god—"

It's like it's taking him like he wants it to, stealing him up in a way that both makes him feel both more whole than he's ever been and like he's lost more of himself than he can possibly cope with at every other moment all at once, and you're pretty damn sure you'll be the only thing that survives it, in the end— 

And then, he explodes. "Fuck—"

It's a choked-off sound that tears violently into the room without his permission, one that claws its way out of his chest and up his throat in a way that feels simultaneously like falling into and being pushed off of a cliff straight into oblivion—

"Mmm yes. Yes. Take it—" he's twitching inside you, hips trembling as he pumps his release deep within your walls. "Fuck. Fuck yes." 

There's a million and one responses to everything he's done and said in the last few minutes that dance on the tip of your tongue, but you're not entirely sure you have the mental capacity to do more than manage a shaky whimper at this point, and all you're even remotely sure you can do is respond to his own moans and gasps with ones of your own. 

"Tom," you whimper as he finally slows. As you both work to catch your breath. "I wish you had dreams like that more often."

He just laughs, a breathless, unsteady thing.

"That's my fucking girl." He mutters. "All mine."

[assriels]

lessons in touch

pairing: azriel x f!reader

summary: azriel’s curiosity and penchant for spying reveals exactly why you’ve been more…enthusiastic in bed lately

word count: 5.8k :0

warnings: smut (not super detailed)!! 18+ mdni pls, az being nosy

a/n: this is one of my faves so far :’) i have this persistent silly headcanon that az is the biggest busybody of them all and that’s why he’s so good at his job

masterlist

banners by @/cafekitsune <3

Sex between you and Azriel was far from boring. It was a well known secret that Azriel had a predilection towards kink and experimentation, so your adventures with him between the sheets never left either of you dissatisfied. Far from it, actually.

Being with him was always pleasurable, wonderful, and unrivaled by any you’d had before him. During girls night, you had always attested to his prowess, said that his skills of observation extended past the battlefield and very much into the bedroom. And his wingspan…you would neither confirm nor deny whether the theory around Illyrian males and their wingspan was true, much to their chagrin, but the mischievous smirk that curled your lips was all they needed to confirm their suspicions.

Azriel was a skilled lover; he knew your ins and outs, understood almost innately how to coax pleasure from you with a simple, well placed brush of his fingers. More often than not, Azriel had you in a puddle on the floor before he could even take his pants off. Which, ordinarily, was a more than welcome skill — you loved how well he knew you, adored how he loved you so much that his brain was like a file cabinet of information about things you liked.

But you’d grown frustrated lately, more and more desiring to reduce Azriel to the same pleasure filled putty that he so often did with you. His composure was infuriatingly ironclad; you knew he felt the same primal, overwhelming desire that you did — such was the nature of the mating bond — but he was much better at masking it.

In short, you wanted to know what made him tick, what made him beg and whimper and plead with you to touch him. You’d been mated for a year now, and while his desire for you never waned, you had yet to find the one thing that made him sink to his knees and beg the way he so easily coaxed you to do for him.

It was no secret that your mate had a bold competitive streak. But your own stubbornness rivaled his own, leading to long, long card game nights and sparring matches — much to everyone else’s entertainment.

Though you knew you had no reason to feel such competitiveness when matters of the bedroom were concerned, you couldn’t help but feel a twinge of annoyance that Azriel had so easily figured out how to make you squirm in a multitude of ways — with all your cards on the table — while you were still somewhat in the dark about his most favored bedroom inclinations. Azriel kept the secrets of his hand close to his chest.

So you vowed to yourself that you’d figure it out, test his composure to see how exactly to make that beautiful, calm countenance crack. It was like a game, but one you were more than willing to play and even more determined to win.

Ever the observer however, Azriel caught on to the changes in your excitement beneath the sheets, amusement and adoration coursing through his veins as he reveled in your sudden vigor, never shying away from a challenge.

You had been more experimental in your bedroom endeavors as of late, asking him to bend you this way and that, introducing things that he never thought you’d be interested in — not that he was complaining in the slightest. Though your differences were strikingly obvious, Azriel would be lying if he said he wasn’t curious about where your sudden interest in various sexual niches had sprung from.

Initially, it was all fun and games; if you wanted to explore then so be it — he’d match you stroke for stroke every time. But eventually, his nosiness had wedged its way deep into each crevice of his mind until he was all-consumed, curiosity devolving into a burgeoning anxiety.

Was something wrong?

Azriel was positive that if you were bored you would tell him. Had you heard something from one of the others that spurred you to want to explore more? Had you felt as though you had to introduce novelty every time to please him?

You had to have known that was far from the truth; no matter your state, Azriel had always made it clear to you that you were the most exquisite creature he’d ever had the privilege of knowing, let alone laying with. He didn’t think there was anything wrong…at least not for him. Maybe you felt like something was missing.

“Penny for your thoughts, brother?”

Rhys’s voice snapped him out of his anxious musings. Azriel hadn’t realized that he was pacing so furiously he could have worn a hole through the floor. Both Rhysand and Cassian had been watching with amusement glinting in their eyes. After all, it was a rare sight to see their ordinarily calm and stoic shadowsinger so worked up.

The same poker face Azriel had worn to win countless games of cards against his brothers masked his features now, but the twitch in his brow and the near missable ruffling of his wings were tells that Cassian and Rhysand were well acquainted with.

The shadowsinger had never perfected his stone faced indifference when he was thinking of you.

Cassian ventured a guess, “Have you upset Y/N?”

Cassian had meant to tease, but the way Azriel stayed silent had his eyebrow arching in question. Azriel ignored the curious glance from his brother as his mind ran in circles once more.

Had he upset you? Was your sudden experimentation in bed some roundabout way of telling him that he had done something to hurt you? No, no…that didn’t make sense, he was being illogical.

Or…Had he somehow missed picking up on something that you liked?

Your sudden interest in sexual exploration was far from a problem, but he got the niggling sense that you were up to something, playing a game that he wasn’t privy to. And he wanted in.

Azriel was private by nature, never revealing more of his relationship with you than absolutely necessary to his brothers, not wanting to overshare in fear that he’d fall victim to their incessant teasing. But this…maybe it would be useful to get their opinions about your sudden change in interests? Cassian and Rhys were both mated males afterall, and maybe there was something Azriel was missing. He would never admit it to anyone but himself, but he fell victim to his crippling neuroticism more times than he’d like to. Curiosity and anxiety were two sides of the same coin.

So he indulged and told his brothers of your sudden vigor in bed, enthusiasm to try something new every single time. You’d been insatiable as of late and he didn’t know why; nothing had changed that he knew of and it was concerning him, he couldn’t stand not knowing.

“So,” Rhys started tentatively, narrowing his eyes in confusion, not quite grasping the issue that Azriel was so hesitant to endorse. “Y/N is trying new things in bed.”

And elsewhere, Azriel thought with a ghost of a smile on his lips. He’d leave that part out, though; Rhys probably wouldn’t appreciate knowing the details about the going-ons in the dining room of the townhouse. And the gardens. And the hallways.

“And you’re complaining?” Cassian asked, incredulous, similarly at a loss for his brother’s concern.

“I’m not complaining, Cass,” Azriel groaned and slumped unceremoniously into a chair (much like an irritated school child who’d been caught doing something they weren’t supposed to), immediately regretting his poorly thought out decision to confide in his brothers. “I’m just confused. I don’t know what she wants.”

“Have you considered asking her?” Rhys inquired, infuriatingly teasing smile curving his lips.

Azriel deadpanned and clicked his tongue, not believing that Rhys would assume he was so inept at communicating with his lover, “Of course I’ve asked. She just says nothing’s changed. I believe her, but it’s still bothering me and I don’t know why.”

Both Cassian and Rhys resisted the urge to laugh, mentally conversing about how Azriel’s affections for you often reduced him to an adolescent-like lovesickness, begging and willing to please. Az had been this way since they were children; fiercely competitive and subsequently pouty if he didn’t have the upper hand, always wanting to know and learn everything he could.

This side of the shadowsinger was one that did not make an appearance often, reserving itself until he was around the few he trusted wholeheartedly.

The past couple of centuries saw even less of this endearingly childish and competitive Azriel – even around his closest friends – as Night Court duties and his identity as Spymaster overshadowed most opportunities to be vulnerable in his relationships.

But when you came around, light began to spark beneath the shadowy depths of Azriel’s countenance as you slowly coaxed him to trust and love as fiercely as everyone knew he was capable of, with the reckless abandon that his childhood self so easily embodied.

“Maybe check her nightstand,” Cassian teased with a wink, only half joking, as a quiet happiness bubbled within him at the small glimpses of Azriel’s vulnerability. “Some of Nesta’s best kept secrets are hidden there.”

Before Azriel could furrow his brow and chastise his brother for snooping through his mate’s belongings, a realization hit him.

Nesta.

You had been spending an awfully large amount of time with the eldest Archeron sister in the library lately, choosing to hole up there in lieu of your other hobbies when you weren’t training or engaging in your various other Night Court duties.

But Nesta would be a dead end. There was no way he could approach her without tipping you off to his secret sleuthing. Though he and Nesta were friends, her loyalties laid with you; there was an unexplainable female camaraderie between you – a chosen sisterhood, if you will – and if he asked if she knew anything about what was going on, she’d go running to you, mischievous twinkle in her eyes.

The conversation with his brothers was about as helpful as he initially thought it would be, and he let himself succumb to their jokes about how wrapped around your finger he was. Azriel had endured it graciously, knowing better than anyone that they were right, that he was indeed wrapped so tightly around your little finger that he was unsure of where he ended and you began. That he would gratefully stay in the palm of your hand for as long as you would allow.

But that night, after you had told him not to wait up for you because you’d be having drinks with Feyre and Mor, Cassian’s voice reverberated insistently in his mind.

Check her nightstand…best kept secrets…

Azriel resisted the urge to snoop for all of ten minutes before his inherent nosiness clouded his judgment and got the better of him; afterall, his love for secrets is what made him such an effective spymaster. Before he knew it, he was rolling onto your side of the bed, inquisitive hands pulling open your bedside drawer.

Hidden among the small stack of books he had given you was a thick novel with a cover he recognized, but gave no second thought.

It was a book you said Nesta had lent you. When he asked if you liked it you said it was “only okay” and that you’d let him know if he should read it when you were finished. Despite your lukewarm review, however, it had never left your side, and he had found you on more than one occasion cozied up with it in your hands, cheeks dusted with a heat he knew all too well.

Azriel was well aware of the content of the books Nesta favored, often lending a reluctant ear to a whiny Cassian whenever she paid more attention to her books than him.

But there was no way your sudden excitement for novelty in the bedroom could be inspired by Nesta’s smutty recommendations…right? He leafed through, assessing hazel eyes quickly skimming the paragraphs, catching glimpses of the prose that had you so enraptured.

Azriel felt the back of his neck heat.

It was smut, as he assumed. But this was truly…filth. Pure, unadulterated, filthy smut.

Azriel was a lover of all books, never having been one to categorize or judge them by popular opinion. And, to be completely fair, he had read a decent amount of books filled with sex and romance.

But…he was sure that the acts detailed in this one would make even the Court of Nightmares’s debauchery look saintly. Even Azriel, who had been correctly assumed to be the kinkiest of the Inner Circle, felt tame in comparison to the words flickering across the pages of your book. How did you read this with such impassivity on your face?

Azriel snapped the book shut with such force the pages blew a cool, gentle breeze onto his heating face. He tried – and failed – to not picture you in the position the main character in your book was described in, unintentionally sending a soft hum of his burgeoning arousal down your bond. He was beginning to understand your desire to replicate the more salacious scenes detailed in your novels.

Having fun without me, Az? Came your teasing inquiry in his mind, as he meticulously replaced all of your belongings into your nightstand.

Don’t be nosy, he quipped back, extremely aware of the irony of his statement. And then after a beat he added, answering your question with a sincerity that never failed to grip your heart, Never without you, love.

You left him waiting for a response a little bit longer than you normally would as you attempted to control the thundering beat of your heart in your chest. You were convinced that no amount of time could ever diminish the effects that Azriel’s blatant display of love had on your composure. As much as he was wrapped around your little finger, you were just as tightly wrapped around his.

I take back what I said earlier, wait up for me.

Azriel smirked to himself, feeling a flare of triumph, It’s a date, then. Maybe I’ll find something interesting to read in the meantime.

If you caught on to his sly insinuation, you did not let on, just continued bantering with him for a few moments before returning your full attention to your friends, who were no doubt attempting to extract morsels of information from your obviously lascivious exchange with your lover.

But that night – even after Azriel had promptly fucked you into a blissful oblivion – had yielded no more information about your recent proclivity for finding a new kink, so Azriel did what he did best and spied.

He kept a watchful eye on the books you read, and tracked the times you asked him to try something new. He spent more time in the library than necessary under the guise that Rhys had put him up to some research.

Which was only half of a lie. He was in there to do reconnaissance, yes, just not for Rhys.

Azriel scanned the bookshelves for anything that seemed like it had been recently replaced, pages still clinging to the sweet scent of your skin. A title he recognized caught his eye and he slotted it out of place, flipping through the pages to confirm his suspicions.

This book was shorter than the others he’d seen you carry around, but certainly no less obscene. A smirk pulled at Azriel’s lips as he read a dog eared chapter that you had clearly marked for inspiration, recollections of your most recent tryst in his office flooding his awareness.

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁

You had sauntered into his small, private study at the House of Wind, short dress skimming the curves of your thighs as you bent to greet him with a kiss to his cheek. He’d been distracted at the time — surveying maps and cross referencing with ancient textbooks — and barely tore his attention away from his work long enough to squeeze your hand in greeting.

But you didn’t seem to mind, opting to make yourself comfortable and purveying the books neatly organized on his shelves. When you’d found a book you thought would be interesting enough — though probably not quite as interesting as the one you’d just finished, per Nesta’s recommendation — you settled into the armchair across Azriel’s desk, shoulders against one armrest as your legs draped over the other.

Azriel looked up at you then, soft smile curving his lips. He loved when you kept him company while he worked; somehow, whenever you were around, work never seemed nearly as daunting or overwhelming.

You met his gaze with your own grin, silently communicating your support of him in the way that only mates could, tugging gently on the bond before winking at him and resettling your attention back to the book in your lap.

The both of you worked in that wonderfully comfortable silence for a while before Azriel caught you fidgeting out of the corner of his eye. The sun had begun its routine descent below the horizon, cool breeze stirring the sheer curtains framing his windows. Though summer had plagued the days with heat and humidity, the nights were still cool as the last dregs of spring eked away.

He looked up, intending on asking if you needed anything — a blanket, maybe — but the words died swiftly in his throat when he eyed a flash of bare skin as you swung your legs to stand, showcasing just enough for him to clue in to the fact that you were indeed not wearing underwear. Or anything else under your dress, if the peak of your nipples beneath the silk was anything to go by.

Selfishly, for a brief moment, Azriel decided that maybe keeping the windows open wouldn’t be so bad.

He pried his eyes away from your form making its way back to his bookcase, and instead attempted to tamp down the raging lust stirring in his belly so he could focus. But the mental picture of what he knew lay beneath the barely there fabric of your dress coupled with your scent made the lines on the map he was studying blur into nonsense.

Though intelligent and compassionate at heart, Azriel often found himself a slave to his baser male instincts when it came to you. There was little – if anything – you could do to quell the raging need to touch you, kiss you, be near you at all hours of the day; his desire for you was a constant hum belying his daily routine. He had not one iota of self control when you were involved, much to his simultaneous thrill and chagrin.

Inwardly, he cursed himself as he stole another glance at you as you stretched onto your toes to reach a book on the top shelf.

Beauty incarnate, truly, he thought. Azriel’s eyes tracked each slope and valley of the lines of your body, taking his time to commit each curve to memory, the way he should have been doing with the maps sitting now uselessly on his desk.

You looked at him over your shoulder, small pout on your lips, “Az, can you help me? I can’t reach.”

Azriel’s heart leapt. It’s like you were doing it on purpose, and in hindsight you definitely were. But despite the gnawing adoration encouraging him to fall to his knees and worship at your feet, he stood with the cool grace of someone unperturbed by their mate’s subtle seduction.

Azriel obliged you, coming up behind you, one hand curling around your hip to steady himself as the other reached easily to the top shelf to grab the book your fingertips skimmed. As he leaned forward, you could feel the hard planes of his chest against your back and you wanted to abandon all your plans to slowly seduce Azriel into a puddle on the floor, but you remained steadfast in your decision. Nesta had pushed a book into your hands and said she tried this once with Cassian and that the resulting hours were pure heaven, and you wanted to test the theory, curiosity rivaling that of your mate’s.

You barely registered Azriel putting the book in your hands, too lost in the warmth of his familiar touch. But you composed yourself quickly, leaning back into him to kiss him in thanks, not so subtly pushing your ass back into his hips. A feeling of revelry settled in your chest when you felt him already half hard beneath his pants, his fingers curling tighter around your hip.

Oh so reluctantly, you pulled away, perfect picture of obliviousness as you plopped back down on the armchair you were occupying previously.

Azriel thought he would collapse in on himself when you went to sit back down. You had him so tightly ensnared it was like he was still in the midst of the initial mating frenzy. He briefly wondered if the mind-boggling need for you would ever go away, though part of him knew hoped it never would.

He took a moment to compose himself — if that was even possible when one’s mate was clearly playing a dangerous game of seduction — bracing himself with one arm steady against the bookshelf.

Despite how much Azriel so greatly wanted to shirk his responsibilities to bend you over his desk, he wouldn’t. Not yet anyway. The work day wasn’t quite over, and the plans he was making for you would surely last too long to finish his research afterwards. So he steeled himself and took a deep, steadying breath, willing his blood to fill his head again so he could think with some semblance of clarity.

Though at baseline, he always found it difficult to think rationally when you were around.

While Azriel was trying — and failing — to regain his composure, you were feigning extreme interest in the book you had selected at random: The History and Systems of Fae War Treaties.

If Azriel had been paying any attention to what you were reaching for, he’d have caught on to your ploy, but luckily for you the mere sight of you was enough to render him at least somewhat incapacitated.

You took a peek at him over the back of the chair, triumphant satisfaction crooking your lips into a mischievous smile. Maybe this would be the day he finally cracks, you think to yourself.

But as the sun dipped lower beneath the skyline of Velaris below, and as Azriel stubbornly worked away at his desk, you felt the tiredness of the day settle into your bones, pull you deeper into the plush leather of Azriel’s loveseat. Cassian had run you ragged with training this morning, and Rhys and Amren had your mind working tirelessly as the three of you attempted to draft a peace treaty in a meager four hours.

But you wouldn’t sleep, not yet, not until you had reduced Azriel to a beautiful, orgasmic mess in his chair. Not until the hazel of his eyes were blown dark with desire and pleading as you straddled his hips.

The next hour was a fight to stay awake as the words on the pages in your lap began to blur into obscurity, mind muddling with theories and questions — though the book was an off handed choice, you couldn’t deny that the information was coincidentally incredibly pertinent to the discussion you were having with Rhys and Amren earlier in the day.

The telltale sigh of a day’s work completed pulled your attention away from your book, gaze settling on your mate. His hair was mused in a way that told you he had spent the last however long skating his fingers through it, but as always it fell perfectly across his forehead in defiance of the tiredness creeping up his neck.

Azriel’s eyes met yours and apparently your coy seduction earlier still held his body in a vice, evident in the way he stood and stalked to you. There was a cool, domineering edge to his movements and you knew your plan had worked to a degree, but the determination you had to break him down had leeched out of you the same way the night had stolen the day’s heat.

You hummed in satisfaction as he leaned down to kiss you, the pressure gentle and so, so sweet. A stark contrast to the dark and tempting storm of desire Azriel flooded your senses with down the bond.

Never once breaking the contact of your kiss, he’d wedged a knee between your legs as one hand braced against the arm of the loveseat while the other danced at the hem of your dress, endearingly asking for permission.

Your mouth curved against his and you guided his hand up to your hip, gasping delightedly when his hand tracked further up your waist, bringing the hem of your dress up with it as he slotted your hips more comfortably against his leg.

His lips traced a scalding trail of open mouthed kisses against your jaw, your neck, a chuckle rumbling deep in his chest that had your hips rolling against him.

“So bold for me,” he said, his hand skating across your unclothed skin while he urged your hips to grind a little harder against his thigh. You gasped, the pressure so wonderfully perfect against your cunt.

Though your initial intention was to get Azriel all hot and bothered, you couldn’t deny that the game you had set yourself up in had the same effect on you; the lingering, almost lazy path his eyes swept over your body every time you shifted across from him left heat singing between your legs, untamed longing for you dancing down the golden thread between you.

“Az…” you rasped, arching your hips up to meet his still clothed body, the top of your dress pushed languidly down to your waist as Azriel played slow music on the skin of your breasts. The loveseat was a cramped fit at best, but Azriel’s surprising flexibility and dexterity made it work despite the general largeness of his wings and frame. He’d made even the smallest corners of the House work for your sexual escapades.

The memories of all the scandalous little happenings you two have been partaking in the past few months flitted across your mind’s eye like an erotic slideshow, and you groaned. Legs tightening around his in desperate search for more friction, more contact, more of him. His name on your lips again was a wanton plea, a sound so wonderfully obscene Azriel almost came in his pants.

“Hmm?” He hummed, closing his lips around your nipple, teeth gently tugging before his tongue was quick to soothe the ache. The way your hips were grinding so shamelessly against him had his head spinning with a swirling mix of lust and love, and he clung to the last shreds of self discipline he had. It was all he could do to not tear both of your clothes off and sink himself deep into your brilliant warmth.

Azriel had always been patient, mastery over his desire was a skill he’d honed meticulously over the past few centuries — though you had a way of quickly unraveling his self control with one flutter of your eyelashes. But he wanted to make this last for you, wanted to draw out your pleasure for as long as possible. So he pressed his thigh more firmly between your legs, his own hips slotting against the side of your body.

You gasped at the feel of him, of how hard he was against your hip, and you tried to reach him, tried to get him to release some of the tension you knew coiled in his belly. He groaned deep and breathless when you pressed insistently against him, his eyes fluttering shut for a moment before he continued his ministrations on your body.

Azriel’s hands were everywhere, trailing paths around your breasts, up your neck, into your hair, and between your legs the way he no doubt was doing with the maps on his desk earlier.

It was infuriating how close you were already, how swiftly the tables had turned (though you half blamed the sudden onset of your fatigue the day had cursed you with), how with one well placed touch you were on the brink of collapse at Azriel’s mercy yet again.

He was urging your hips faster now, his fingers and lips making quick work of all the places he knew would have you keening. And before you could even register that he was still fully clothed, hard cock still straining against the confines of his pants, you were falling, breathless and dizzy with release.

The night had been far from over. You came twice more in that godsdamned loveseat – once with his fingers buried inside you and another time with his head between your legs – before he whisked you away to your bedroom where you finally, finally felt the delicious stretch of him inside you.

By the time the sun was making its appearance over the horizon once more, you had lost count of how many times Azriel had you begging.

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁

Though your spicy little rendezvous in his office – and encore in the bedroom – wasn’t quite an exact replica of what played out in the book you had apparently just read, Azriel had thought your coy seduction had its intended effect. He’d been so fucking desperate for you that he couldn’t wait until you were out of his study to have you coming for him.

But, as he skimmed the pages of the chapter you marked, he couldn’t help but think that maybe he wouldn’t mind being fully at the mercy of your whims, wouldn’t mind submitting to the pleasure that you so easily coaxed from him. He was already always so eager to please you, so willing to crawl to the ends of the earth for you if you had so much as suggested you wanted him to.

“Azriel?” Nesta’s voice dripped with wicked amusement, effectively pulling him from his erotic reverie. “I never thought I’d see you in this section of the library.”

Fuck.

He hadn’t anticipated that he’d run into Nesta, a severely idiotic oversight on his part considering the House’s library was something akin to her own personal sanctuary. Azriel turned slowly on his heels to face her, mind working in overdrive to come up with a viable excuse for him being there.

“Nesta,” was all he came up with. Pathetic.

Her smirk turned deadly when she realized he was floundering. Arms crossed over her chest, chin tilted ever so slightly upwards, she looked the very portrait of smug amusement; he would expect nothing less of his friend who moonlighted as Lady Death.

Nesta’s eyes dropped to the book he forgot he was holding, and her eyebrows shot up in understanding, “Ah, I just recommended that one to Y/N. She gave it a hefty five stars. Said it was…intriguing.”

Nesta’s sly comments were enough to confirm Azriel’s suspicions that you were taking bedroom inspiration from the arsenal of smutty books the House stocked. And, with the way Nesta was biting her tongue, he could tell that she knew exactly why he was there.

Cassian, that fucking mouthy bastard.

Before Azriel could open his mouth to tell her that it wasn’t what it looked like – even though they both knew it was exactly what it looked like – Nesta stalked past him, pulling books off the shelf with striking precision. With a stack of five books balanced on one hand, she took the one Azriel was holding and reshelved it.

“These are Y/N’s favorite,” she said, this time with a little bit more softness and understanding as she placed them gingerly in his arms. “I’m sure she’d love if you read them.”

Azriel scanned each cover, a fond smile working to tilt the corners of his lips. You did love these; he had been familiar with these covers long before you were even mated, always keeping a lovingly watchful eye on the things you enjoyed, filing the knowledge away in his mind for later.

“Thanks, Nesta,” he said sincerely, adoration for you filling his chest with warmth as he remembered the excitement lighting your eyes while you read these books, cute flush radiating off your cheeks.

Nesta only nodded, giving his shoulder an encouraging few pats as she stalked off to another aisle, no doubt scouring the shelves for a new read.

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁

Azriel told himself that he’d only read a few chapters — for research — but he hadn’t realized that he’d spent the better half of his day off lounging on the loveseat in his study.

Despite his previous reservations around the smutty books you’d so lovingly treasured, he found he was enjoying them — and not just for the well written, detailed sex scenes that you were pulling ideas from. He was two-thirds of the way through the second book, in the midst of the big climax, when you snuck up on him.

“It seems you’ve discovered my dirty little secret,” you said coyly, arms coming up behind him to snake around his shoulders.

Azriel jumped at your sudden appearance, inwardly cursing himself for teaching you how to sneak up on someone so effectively. He closed the book swiftly, feeling a flustered blush creep up his neck.

You pouted and rested your chin on his shoulder, “Aw, you were just getting to the best part! Don’t stop reading on my account.”

Azriel groaned but gave in, leaning back into your touch, “Don’t tease me.”

“I would never tease you, my love,” you said mockingly before kissing his cheek. “It is really the best part, though. The paint scene—“

Before you could regale the details of the main characters’ sexual escapades, Azriel took your chin in his fingers and slotted his lips over yours in a silent plea to stop your innocent tormenting. He reveled in the way you kissed him back without pause; he didn’t think he’d ever get used to the way you loved him as eagerly as he did you.

“Dirty little secret, huh?” He quipped, lips brushing yours as a bemused smirk lifted the corners of his mouth. You rolled your eyes as you made your way around the back of the chair, gesturing for him to uncross his legs so you could settle yourself on his lap.

Your weight was a welcome comfort as he continued prodding you, “Is this why you’ve been so…eager lately?”

“I didn’t think you’d notice,” you admitted, winding your arms around his neck as he scoffed in mock disbelief.

“Give me some credit love, I notice everything when it comes to you.” Came his quick response.

You pursed your lips, half in childish dissatisfaction that your little game was over, “I just wanted to know how to get you to beg for me. I needed ideas.”

Your nonchalance belied the wicked sensuality of your words and he chuckled, wrapping his wings around you both before mapping a scathing trail of kisses up your neck. The pillowy feel of his lips brushing your ear made you shudder, his teeth nibbling playfully at your earlobe as he hummed deep in his chest, “We have a lifetime together, there’s no rush. But since you want it so badly, shall I show you how well I can beg for you?”

Azriel’s offer sent an exhilarating shiver down your spine, and you so desperately wanted to give in, wanted to watch him come undone beneath you as he pleaded with you to touch him. But you shook your head despite yourself, competitive stubbornness the only barrier between you and what you wanted.

“I want to earn it, make you want me so bad you can’t help yourself.”

Your words were a breathy murmur that nearly had Azriel flipping you over right there on the too small lounge chair, but he resisted, prioritizing his assurances that you were the only thing he wanted every second of every day.

“That’s the thing, beloved,” he whispered in your ear, deep voice doused in honey reverberating in your bones as your desire flared so wildly it made you lightheaded. His hand, calloused palms rough against your skin, skated beneath the hem of your dress to grab hold of your hip and move you so you were straddling him.

This was the image you played over and over in your mind. The unbridled, unrestrained look of pleading in his eyes that blew his pupils wide, that had his hips shifting against yours in a display of just how much he wanted you.

“I always want you,” he continued. “I’d beg for you like I am dying of dehydration and you are my oasis. Just ask, and I’ll do exactly as you say.”

You were mesmerized, finger tracing the sharp contours of his jawline before ending at his chin, tilting his gaze up with the same practiced dominance you’d seen him slip into countless times before. You savored the way he shuddered at your touch, pretty lips parting as his chest heaved.

The corner of your mouth quirked, your breath a ghost over his lips, “Show me, then.”