#but you still now its heartbreaking
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insaneduo breathe if you agree
#qsmp#insaneduo#the fact that cellbit and forever can rp like that having known each other for four months#insaneduo is so platonic soulmate coded#they love each other so much in such a meaningful way#how the divorce arc had cellbit sure forever would never trust him again#but ironically the divorce is what made their bond stronger#how forever never hesitated to trust cellbit after that arc#and how they were each others support during the elections arc#and now cellbit has to see forever in that state. drugged#over something they both share in common which is their love for their son#they are doomed by the narrative to always experience the horrors but they do it together#and when theyre not together its heartbreaking but now you never doubt that their bond is gonna make it#but you still now its heartbreaking#sorry im gonna be extremely annoying in the tag today#i got like three hours of sleep this night because i couldn't stop thinking about last nights stream#so bear with me#or block me idc LMFAO
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“i just kiss him”
#critical role#vaxleth#keyleth#vax'ildan#critical role spoilers#my stuff#i win#i win!!!#ive fucking won!!!!!!#alexa play tokyo sunrise by lp#sobbing weeping throwing up#7 years#oh my god its been 7 years#i still remember the heartbreak over season 1 like it was yesterday#and ive never fully recovered until now#thank you so much
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IT HAS COME TO MY ATTENTION THAT I 💥 HAVE 💥 BEEN 💥 💥 RESCUED 💥SAVEDB💥 SALVATIONED 💥 THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU legal guardians for leaving for aroun ten minutes so i could reach out and BE SAVED!!! SMALPIN IS!!! NOT GOING TO DIE TODAY!!! /GEN!!! RHAHAHSHSHHSHDGSGXZGZGZ /VPOS
#now i can elaborate#long story short my legal guardians have ALWAYS BEEN MY BIGGEST HATERS IN EVERYTHING EVER!!! NUMBER ONE BIGGEST!!!#maybe theyre just jealous (theyre not)#okay but today marked the day when they found out that i was still secretly (hush hush (fifteak mention (im insane))) enjoying life#byyyyy DRAWING!!!#YEAH 💥 THEY HATE THE FACT THAT I DRAW 💥💥💥 VERY HEARTBREAKING EMOTIONAL AT 3AM#buuuuut they found out i was still drawing after the 97104000th time they told me to give up#so their epic plan was!!! to force me!!! to delete everything!!! ever!!! right in front of them!!! with zero free will because i dont deserv#so that wasnt going so good (i was shaking the entire time (im genuinely surprised i wasnt sobbing but at the same time the last time i#cried for anything ever was when the first few minutes of tpot 16 happened to me but other than that i never cry for anything ever))#WHATEVER mobing on#out OF LUCK!!! they left for ten-ish minutes to COOK (I LOVE COOKING its too bad they the legal guardians made it SUCK)#ermmmmr emmmerrmmm uh#found out how to back up everything to the secret (hush hu) work tablet that i have before it was too late#so when they came back it LOOKS like they won BUT THEY DIDNT!!!#anywhooooo im on my cell phone again#uhhhhhhhhhh only problem is that i dont have most of my ibis paint files anymore#......that MIGHT be a problem ermmmm................uhhhh......#i guess its a-okay ⁉️⁉️⁉️ at least i have anything at all 😋 we're silly#but anyways DID YOU ENJOY THE SMAL LORE!!! smal lore drop make sure to like and subscribe /silly#and for everyone's information im A-OKAY NOW!!! /gen /silly im home alone right now anyways FREEDOM OF EXPRESSION!!!#jm not american i promise#smal's occasional talk show#WE ARE SO BALL
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Her Sunrise 🌄 Her Dawnbreaker
Ever since the very first time I read Still in Dark, the detail of Zayne being covered in scars from fighting wanderers/abominations has sat so heavy on my heart. Because you know that poor man hasn't been getting any professional medical help. Much like Xavier, he's just riding those injuries out, only unlike Xav, he's not blessed with a body that heals itself with relative ease.
This particular 'moment' is from a fic I'm still formatting in my head, that will hopefully see the light of day soon. His expression is a reflection of your own when you realize just how much he's been through. Our poor little meow meow 😩
My desire to bring this man into my arms and shield him from everything overwhelms me sometimes, and today I sat consumed with the desire to do just that, so instead of doing all my other obligations I did... this. Lol.
#hey hey hey anon I did it i drew him are you proud of me???#there ya go i did it i finally drew you a Dawnbreaker yall can be happy and rejoice now#and its only mildly angsty#and still sexy imo#yeah hes not all the way naked im sorry but i had a vision i was going for in my head and yall can just go with me on this one k?#i just KNOW i wouldnt be able to control my face when i saw his body looking like a battleground#and id be so fucking sad and i would bet large bills he'd be so vulnerable in that intimate moment that he couldn't help making a face back#and it would be so heartbreaking bc the moment of insecurity#jesus christ i went nuts in the tags again fuck#lnds#love and deepspace#lads#l&ds#love & deepspace#zayne#zayne love and deepspace#love and deepspace zayne#Dawnbreaker#db!zayne#zayne dawnbreaker#art of kay
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Based on a meme going around! I'll work on Emelias tomorrow after work, but of course I picked the more heartbreaking one of the two This also isn't as good as I'd like because I'm distracted and also didn't have the energy to make it too detailed, but oh well- I may actually redo it at some point ayy
From a bright eyed young boy, to a grown man fueled by spite and hatred.
But either way, it's still him.
#its still you meme#I definitely want to redo this but it'll be fine for now#child heisenberg#heisenberg#karl heisenberg#lord heisenberg#resident evil#resident evil village#re8#lovelywingsart#enjoy your heartbreak
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done!
WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCKW HAT THE FUCK YOU SHDF SDFMY GOSUDW GGOG ODOODSOG SDGSLG
THAT ACTUALLY SHOOK ME TO MY FUCKINGCORE THAT WAS DISTURBING
THIS SHO WIS PEAK THERE IS NO OTHER LIKE IT OH MY FUCKING GOD
#everyone who worked on it im in love with you#i thought id be stuck in san fran forever nooo now im stuck in the theatre#god#uhm. final points?#armand is so fucking pretty as always. especially when distraught its heartbreaking#lestat. as a character not as a narrative. his side of the story. fascinating. i hope i get to see more im starting to reall yreally like h#uhm. my handsa re still shaking from that!#madeleine and claudia god. god.#claudia singing during that oh my god#the last thing she saw. lestat.#lestat's expression#im fucking deceased#im done for#good bye#interview with the vampire spoilers#iwtv#interview with the vampire#amc iwtv
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band ensemble & ritsumao lookback
#IM LOSING IT WITH THIS PARALELLS#ITS LITERALLY THE SAME THING#HE DOES STILL THINK THE SAME EVEN AFTER MORE THAN 10 YEARS#the only and heartbreaking difference is#in the lookback ricchan begs for mao to come back to him#while in band ensemble ritsu believes that mao cant come back to him. that they shouldnt be together anymore#OUGHHHGGGGHHH#im reading the lookback and this part just sounded too familiar but GOD i didnt expect it to be exactly the same#the 'its maakuns fault'#the piano mention and how it soothes/entertains him but that cant do now that he knows maakun#bc he just gets too lonely being without him so it wont help#the part where he says maakun taught him abt brightness abt warmth abt the daytime world!!!!!!!#he gave him the warmth of the sunnnnnnnnnnnn#theres even the vending machine mention and you know thats how band ensemble starts too!!!!! with mao getting ritsu a drink from there!!!!!#this is too much i cant believe this
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❤️💔
#there is something about this pic ...#its the way he looks#strong and determined#concentrated#steadfast#focused on the moment the press the longterm goal#but also something sad and heartbreaking about the pic#because you can see the exhaustion#the hardness thats now part of his heart#how thin his face has become#the many wrinkles because of the stress#his eyes always kind of sad and haunted#because of all the things he saw and heard and had to live through#nothing left of the youthness from before the war#his beard now getting increasingly grey#he lost some weight again#less pressed together slightly but still#like all the pressure is pressing him together
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i think my favourite little horrible (positive) callback in the Generations trilogy is where Drizzt tries to insist that Zaknafein was at peace when he was dead an he was Fine and Okay and you CAME TO ME IN A DREAM AND YOU TOLD ME YOU WERE FINE which is a reference to him having a dream after he rescues Wulfgar from Errtu about his dad, and his repeated ‘i’m really trying to convince myself despite not knowing anything’ litanies of how Zak definitely went to a good place and was at peace after he died because his death has to mean SOMETHING, right, he earned SOMETHING, right,
and Zaknafein’s answer is “I literally don’t remember that. I don’t remember anything. It was just darkness.”
And on one hand I genuinely think Zaknafein getting to Stop Thinking for like a century and it being like no time passed at all, he just went into stasis, was the kindest thing any kind of god or afterlife could have done for him but it also just, doesn’t comfort Drizzt at all. And it’s a really subtle but very interesting underlining of how, even in these basic survival impulses, Drizzt and Zak diverged hard and are sort of mutually ???? about it.
#generations spoilers#legend of drizzt#drizzt gets to speedrun 'viewing your father who you idolized as a hero as just a fucked up guy trying his best' in real time#its heartbreaking to watch#theyre just completely different people now and their relationship can't be simple#maybe it never was#but there's a loss of innocence and connection that was taken away from both of them that zak has no idea how to mourn#and drizzt thought he was Over The Whole Dad Thing but nope he's still got more in the tank!#it's so fascinating and so sad#zaknafein is such a fun character because he is essentially just 'proud warrior sword guy archetype taken to logical conclusion'#its like he made himself into a sword and the sword became all he was#and a sword doesnt know how to do anything else but kill#thats what it's made for after all#spoilers
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hi im gonna sadpost for a bit
#talkys#down here hee hee#anyway#i keep getting really sad about like. I'm Only Getting Older. When Will I Find My Person.#but its not even in a ''older = no one will want me'' way#its more like. i want them Now. we only have so much time on this earnth i want as much time with this person as possible and im missing#out on so much of it#literally that ''i wish id met you sooner'' post. with the carly rae jepsen lyrics and everything.#i dont even Have em yet and i already wish id met em sooner#i dont even have em yet and im already wondering how i ever lived life without em. bc im living out the answer right now#and it is‚ well. very miserably. im doing very miserably without em.#im optimistically jealous of future me#while also hoping this future me is very very very soon into future me#i want to be there Now. time is being wasted right now without you‚ wherever you are#(saying this as if its ever gonna happen again + as if i wont have to go thru heartbreak 50 more times before ever MAYBE finding a good fit#but whatever. im really trying to stay in the deluded ''im excited for it to happen'' boat instead of the Get Real Lmao. If It Had Never#Happened Once It Still Wouldn't've Happened/No One Is Around or In Line to#Date You Soooooo Get Used to Another Few Decades of Nothing and No One boat. wah#anyway. sad !
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fucked up that love live just doesn't exist anymore. like you cant go and play it in offline mode or whatever its just a thing thats gone. landmark in the mobile rhythm game sphere and no subsequent generations will ever be able to play it. a totally ephemeral game. it doesnt exist on a disk anywhere, despite the fact they arguably couldve made it that way. about my favorite rhythm game ive played and what, all gone forever, no more snow halation? no more strawberry trapper?
it just sucks that theyre allowed to destroy something forever. that there isnt a way to save it. no one cares about game preservation.
#i still miss the sailor moon bejeweled game#i think it had a really good idea handing out wallpapers as prizes for completing things in game#i loved earning those little graphics#no one else has figured this out no one else is doing bejeweled but fun and you get images#so many match-3 games are so obviously money machines where they suck to play unless you pay#but the sailor moon one was fun...... and yuo got images.........#someone tried to recreate it but its now abandonded and i never found the file for it mirrored anywhere so thats just gone too#heartbreaking!
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people are so shocked when they learn about the absolute depravity of the world thats right in front of them. not that its Good to be desensitized to horrific shit but like i am not surprised. every new bad news thing that comes out i am not surprised. yes, they will ignore death. they will let you die without a second thought. i'm sorry you are only just now learning this.
#like yes things are horrible right now and i get it#but ive seen two posts that are like how can people ignore this!!!!!#thats all the gov does. ignore shit and make problems worse#they do not fucking care who dies. UNLESS your death brings them money. then they actively encourage it.#like. did you know we did in fact have “the tools” to stop covid from becoming a pandemic?#did you know that we could have ended the pandemic fairly quickly too?#we didn't use them. they sent everyone “back to normal” so you can all die for capitalism.#unless you have kept up REALLY WELL chances are you have no fucking idea how high the covid death toll is. its higher than what's reported#the public has been being fed to the fucking wolves for years now. before covid too but for the entire pandemic especially#we have been left behind!!!! im sorry you only see that now and its a harsh reality to wake up to#like absolutely continue to call your senators and reps and whatever. like thats still a completely viable option#continue to educate yourself and talk about issues and keep it in discussion#but like. idk. its heartbreaking i get it.#especially to see people incredulously cry and wonder “how could our leaders see this suffering and ignore it?”#people have been left to “fall to the wayside” for years now and its just that now you see it#i understand the betrayal of “i thought those in office were there to PROTECT us and i thought they cared!”#anyway. idk i don't want to say things are futile . like keep trying cause thats all we Can do
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finished the song of achilles and i loved it and i cried hard but i cant believe apollo was a little bitch like that wtf i used to like him!!
#i could say a lot of things about this book but i wont cuz im a silly little shit#but like.... im so glad i can read omg its been soooo long i dont read a non fiction book that i actually finished this one so fucking fast#instead the months long reading i was doing bc i was stuck on an Academic book#it's not that it was bad but i was kinda reading it as a form of study and info and not for entertainment. so it was a slowwww process#Honestly when i have to read shit for uni it takes me like over an hour to finish 20 pages cuz i Read read so i wont need to go over it onc#more. anyways i love knowledge and reading#and i knkw i said i wasnt gonna talk about it here this much but it came such at a right time cuz i needed to let myself sob due to the#current heartbreak im going thru (i shit you not it is that serious but not so much cuz its j-hope and im still angry and sad and i will#probably cry a lot more over That but it is what it is sometimes people are not the main characters of their own lives and I'm one of them)#ANYWAYS i am still mad at the world and i think we should all kill ourselves but im glad i read a story where people die and love is eterna#i still should die but it's the little things ✨️#also this means i have one more book to log into my reading journalllll yay#need to finish the log for Orientalism and now this one :D#but now im like D: cuz i have a lot of uni shit to do for the next three weeks and more shit is gonna come as we get to the end of the semes#ter
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