#but you simply cannot act as if it is not ‘genre fiction’

[thefearofcod]

ice cold take but fanfiction is inherently genre fiction. and the genre is fan.

[pukefactory]

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽ DELIGHTFUL DOWNPOUR ☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

⏾⋆ Summary: Shadow Milk Cookie Tends To Your Wounds

⏾⋆ Character(s): Shadow Milk Cookie (Cookie Run)

⏾⋆ Genre: Headcannons, SFW

⏾⋆ Warning(s): None - Completely Safe!

⏾⋆ Image Credits: @pink-sugar & @sisterlucifergraphics

✶ “Ohhh, what’s this? A surprise performance? And I didn’t even hand you a script!” Shadow Milk Cookie’s voice laces the air like silk, but his hands tremble as they hover over your wounds. The stage was his to control, the players his to manipulate—but you? You had thrown yourself into the fray, unbidden, unscripted, unpredictable. He should be livid. Instead, he kneels beside you, a rare silence stretching between you both.

✶ For all his flamboyant showmanship, Shadow Milk Cookie’s touch is careful as he winds bandages around your wounds. He hums a tune under his breath, something eerily soft, yet the sharp glint in his mismatched eyes remains. “Ohhh, what a mess you’ve made! Ruining my perfect, perfect stage like this!” he chides, voice lilting with exaggerated disappointment. And yet, despite the theatrics, his hands do not waver.

✶ Shadow Milk Cookie thrives in illusion, in making others doubt their own senses, but he cannot lie to himself about this. He felt it—true fear. The moment you shielded him, the moment you crumpled to the ground, the moment your blood stained his harlequin attire… he had lost control. And oh, how he despised that feeling.

✶ “You’re hogging all the attention, y’know,” he pouts, tying off the last bandage with a dramatic flourish. “And here I thought I was the star!” His lips curl into a smirk, but there’s a tightness to it—something rehearsed, forced. The truth is, the mere idea of you fading from the scene unnerves him. What fun would the show be without its most intriguing audience member?

✶ Every time you wince, his grip on his staff tightens. Every time your breath hitches, the eyes hidden in his hair flicker erratically. But instead of acknowledging his concern, he laughs. Loud, sharp, grating. “My my my, such a tragic little protagonist we have here!” He claps his hands together. “Such devotion! Such foolhardy bravery! But tell me, dear, was it worth it?” He expects you to falter. Instead, you meet his gaze with steady resolve. “Yes,” you say. And for once, he has no clever retort.

✶ For all his love of deception, he hates the sight of you like this—broken, battered, bleeding. A pawn in a game he didn’t realize had begun. And worse? You’d played your part for him. Shadow Milk Cookie is no stranger to sacrifice, but yours unsettles him. Why? Why would you do this? For him? No, no, no. That’s not how the script is supposed to go.

✶ His fingers brush against your cheek, an absent-minded gesture—one he doesn’t even realize he’s doing. For a fleeting moment, the mischief in his gaze dims. “You’re ridiculous,” he mutters, shaking his head. “Absolutely absurd.” And yet, his hands linger, gripping yours with an intensity that betrays his usual nonchalance.

✶ The ones who harmed you? Oh, they will regret it. Shadow Milk Cookie is not the type to seek vengeance for others. He would sooner laugh at their misfortune than shed a tear. But for you? For you, he will rewrite the entire performance. And in this act, the antagonists will not make it to the final bow.

✶ “I’d say you owe me for this, but honestly?” He sighs, dramatically draping himself beside you. “I think I’m the one in debt here. How scandalous!” His grin is all teeth, all bravado, but his fingers curl slightly at his sides. He wants to tell you it was foolish, reckless, idiotic. But instead, he simply murmurs, “Don’t do it again.”

✶ Shadow Milk Cookie spins tales, crafts illusions, blurs the lines between reality and fiction with a flick of his wrist. But this? This moment, this raw, aching truth between you both—he cannot twist it. You, lying there, injured but alive. Him, at your side, guarding you with an intensity that terrifies even himself. “The show must go on,” he says softly, almost to himself. But for the first time in his existence, he does not want this act to end.

[alessiamalfoyzabini]

can you make a fic about yan!fboyjk and yan!cheaterjk for me? i don’t have a specific plot in my mind so you can do anything to your liking :))

Pairing | cheater!fboy!yan!Jungkook x Reader

Word Count | 4.242

Warnings | +18, talk about marriage and cheating, smut, dubcon, fingering, vaginal sex, oral sex (f. receiving), Jungkook is sweet but also scary, angst, forced relationship, manipulation

Yandere genre is very strong, if you don't like it, don't read. If you are not of age, don't read. I don't want to hear any complaints in the comments, thank you.

This does not reflect my way of thinking or living at all, it is just a work of fiction, it is like watching a horror movie, many of us love horror movies, but we would never dream of what we see in those movies happening in reality as well.

Simply put, this story was written for entertainment purposes, it should not be seen as a reflection of my values, opinions or morals. I absolutely do not condone such acts.

⤷ Summary | You want to leave Jungkook, but he is not of the same opinion, It doesn't matter if he did wrong, you are his.

➢ Author's Note | Hi, guys! Thank you for the request! I hope you like the story, please ask me for more stories, I am happy to write for you 🥰

You and Jungkook have been always sure about your future, you would get married and live happily ever after like in the most beautiful fairy tale. So why are you crying? Why do you refuse to take your eyes off that scene? Your brain refuses to recognize those angelic features that had caught you in a dense network of colorful, sparkling dreams as a child. That cannot be the same man who swore to you in front of all your relatives eternal love, with a ring in his hand and a wonderful, sweet smile drawn on his lips. Yet who can it be but Jungkook, the man who at that moment holds in his arms a woman unknown to you? You went to the gym to surprise your boyfriend, he had been disappearing for hours for some time under the guise of training for the wedding, he wanted to keep in shape to be perfect for you… just for you. But there he is, at the entrance of the gym whispering something in the ear of the blond-haired woman, who in return smiles cheekily at his joke, running a hand over his strong, trained chest. They seem very close, there is definitely confidence between them. You finally look away, feeling incredibly wrong, and take a step back, then another and another.

You start running in the opposite direction, all to forget that scene, to forget Jungkook's smug eyes staring at a woman who is not you. When you get home you feel incredibly weak, you sit almost collapsing on the bed, in your brain a bunch of ideas start swirling around in your head, ideas that block your breath in your throat. It's not even the first time it's happened, you realize, it's happened before that you've noticed something strange in your relationship, but you've never given it any credence. You don't want to think anymore. Forget, forget, forget.

"Smells good, love," the man leaves a sweet kiss on your neck, pressing his soft lips to caress your skin, "Is my girl getting ready to spoil me yet?" Jungkook holds you tightly in his arms, practically purring against your body. You find yourself smiling between his cuddles, continuing to stir the meat stew simmering in the pot. "You're just saying that because you're hungry," you chuckle gently. You found yourself shaking like a leaf in anxiety for days, believing that sooner or later Jungkook would come to you to tell you that he was leaving you for another woman, but none of that happened, Jungkook is still the same, showering you with attention and adoring you, and still wanting to marry you. Perhaps you had misunderstood the situation, that blond woman must be a friend and you jumped to conclusions, you should have asked Jungkook for explanations, but you still feel something holding you back from doing so. It is fear, a deep and treacherous fear.

"I say this because you are too good to me," he whispers seriously, causing you to turn toward him. His serious eyes chain yours and you feel lost, watching the wonder of that glittering obsidian staring at you encompassing you with possession, Jungkook licks his lips, the rosy soft tip furrowing those inviting petals before he moves closer to you, the electricity between your bodies bursting into lightning bolts as your lips meet, softly joining in an adoring kiss full of dominance. Somehow Jungkook manages to turn off the stove behind you, grabbing your head in a grip that forces you to deepen the kiss under the pressure of his hot tongue pressing repeatedly on your lips to demand access to your mouth. In each touch of Jungkook you lose yourself, accepting the force with which he takes your lips moaning and grabbing a few wavy strands of hair between your fingers. His tongue entwines with yours creating a wet and sensual dance, feeling him slow and hot inside your mouth turns you on in an incredible way. His taste is dope and Jungkook thinks the same of yours, sucking your tongue like delicious candy and smiling. It is always like that, if he wants something, he takes it. And you at that moment happily offer him your body, your feelings and your soul. They are all his.

He grips your hips in his hands, pressing you against his hot body, he needs you and with trembling legs you leave him in charge, he takes you to the couch where he makes you lie down leaving behind a trail of light, soft kisses along your jaw and neck, he stares at you now with half-closed eyes, the man finds himself thinking that you probably don't know how much you are actually giving him. With your clothes now on the floor and your panties lowered to your knees you let your head fall back, clenching your lower lip between your teeth, gentle waves of pleasure envelop your body, Jungkook with one hand travels up your belly to stop at your breasts, which he squeezes possessively as he wraps his tongue around your swollen clitoris, licking and sucking it repeatedly before poking your soggy slit with his fingertips, entering it only slightly, just enough to let your sweet essence out and lick it away with his tongue and enjoy the taste of you that has always driven him wild. You're getting closer and closer to your first orgasm, and you know it won't be the only one; you squeeze his head between your soft, smooth thighs, but he forces you to stay still by pushing his palms on your delicate skin, continuing to eat away at your quivering folds until a wonderful, satisfying sensation grips your belly and explodes into millions of tiny stars behind your closed eyelids.

"Jungkook! S-stop!" you shake your hips trying to make him stop and he stops only after sucking your sensitive pearl against his palate one last time. Kissing your folds and moving up your skin he stops at your belly, licking slowly down to your navel and you shudder still shaken from your orgasm, he only begins to remove his pants and boxers once he reaches your breasts, where he breathes in the scent of your soft skin and takes a delicate nipple in his mouth, attaching it and beginning to caress it with the tip of his tongue, sending delicious shivers throughout your body. "Open those beautiful legs for me, sweetheart," he gives you two light pats on the knee and makes you spread your legs wide, satiating his hungry, smug eyes. He loves the power you let him wield over you. You lick your lips at the sight of his straining, cum-shiny cock, wanting to taste it, to feel that length filling your mouth and leaving you breathless, but Jungkook pushes you back against the couch firmly, shaking his head amusedly. "Later, love," he murmurs finally taking off the tight t-shirt he is wearing, you find yourself gazing at his defined and gorgeous abs with the driest of throats, he doesn't let you touch him to your disappointment, you want to caress his chest, play with his sensitive nipples, but with a firm, hard kiss he guides himself between your legs, sinuously sliding into your wet entrance with his thick, hard cock, you widen your eyes and a deep moan leaves your throat. Your sensitive folds vibrate delightedly with each of his slow, firm lunges, your arms wrap around his neck and your hips move with his, in the room you can only hear the sounds of your bodies coming together and your wheezing moans, Jungkook grunts in your ear something after a particularly hard thrust and your eyes narrow, the thick tip of his cock is hitting a particularly sensitive spot that makes more moisture gush from your pussy.

"Jungkook, I'm coming again," you whimper softly inhaling his scent, the man nods as he continues to press into that sensitive area, and you move his hair behind his ear before leaving a kiss on one side of his neck. Then something makes you miss a beat. You hadn't noticed it before because it was hidden by his rather long hair, but just below his ear is a mark. It looks like a mark- a hickey -the color is tending toward purple and your heartstrings tug painfully.

You drive your nails into his shoulders with frost enveloping your limbs, you don't want to look any further, tears accumulate in the corners of your eyes and Jungkook blames your oncoming climax, he kisses them drying them with his lips and that gesture makes you scream internally, why is he so sweet and attentive? It's not fair, it's not fair, it's not fair. With his free hand he reaches down between your bodies beginning to circle with his thumb around your clit, his pelvis moves faster, he is coming, soon he would fill you with his cum and for the first time ever you find yourself faking an orgasm with Jungkook, your delicate walls tighten around his cock, accompanying him to the end of his pleasure, but you feel nothing more. Jungkook collapses on top of you, kissing your forehead and cheeks, then finishing with your lips, but your heart is shattered. The man you love does not actually love you. "I love you, Y/N," he says, a lie you are no longer willing to believe.

There was always something wrong with the attention Jungkook was getting at school, you often attended the same classes and you always got the evil eyes of the other girls on you, you had even tried to ask the boy why, but he had always explained that they were simply jealous of your relationship and you were not supposed to pay attention to them. And you had believed him, after all, you always believed him. But now you regret giving him all that power.

"Jungkook, do you have another woman?" Your wedding is only a month away, and you can't marry a man who doesn't love you. Jungkook from his side almost chokes on his energy drink, he stares at you as if you had two heads instead of one, you are in the parking lot of his gym, you went to pick him up and you can tell he had recently showered, the ends of his hair are still damp and curled. "Shit, Y/N! Is that something to tell your future husband? We're getting married in exactly one month, heck no! I don't have another woman!" he blurts out seemingly speechless, you tighten your lips in response. "Hey ... Baby, what's going on?" he whispers softly, trying to take your chin between his fingers, but you quickly flinch away from him, who rolls his eyes in response. "What's going on is this, Jungkook," you growl, suddenly lifting some dark locks from his neck, exposing a small but remarkable detail. There are slight bite marks that are healing, you had noticed it a few days before, but you didn't have the courage to point it out, until now.

You're tired, you don't want to put up with such a situation anymore. "Stop teasing me, I hate it when you're so sweet to me, when it's clear that you're having fun behind my back with who knows how many other women!" you shout with glazed eyes, Jungkook immediately losing the confusion etched on his face, finally letting a serious and icy look shine through. "This is not the place to talk about this, Y/N. Let's go home," he hisses, not even trying to deny it one more time. This shocks you deeply. He doesn't seem to care that you finally know the truth. "I really think this is the right place, instead" you don't want to cry, so you hold back your tears by chasing them back, "You lied to me and betrayed me, I don't want to marry a man like you" the disgust in your voice makes him wince, if he thought he was going to solve things by using some bullshit catchphrases, well, he was very wrong. You make to get out of the car, you would have taken a cab rather than be with him again in that cramped and stifling space, you want to vent your emotions in a more secluded place, but Jungkook tightens a hand around your wrist.

"Don't you want to marry a man like me? My love, you may not realize that you have no other choice! We have always been together and we will always be together! You swore it to me more than once and you even did it in front of our parents!" he exclaims fiercely, tightening his grip painfully, you squeeze your eyes shut in pain. "You're hurting me," you murmur terrified by his sudden change. "Well, maybe you deserve it, don't you think?" he asks cruelly. You know Jungkook particularly cares about his parents' judgment, but you didn't think he would go that far to make them happy, so a worse doubt germinates in you. "You never loved me! You only want to be with me because our parents always wanted it that way" you want to vomit, were you really that blind? Jungkook quickly shakes his head, "Of course I love you, even though you're making me angry with this absurd talk of yours." "You don't love me, if you really loved me you wouldn't cheat on me with other women" you find the strength to break free from his grip, your pulse is red and pumping blood quickly. "I-" he freezes, his eyes dark with fury, "You don't understand, you can't blame me alone for all this!"

Jungkook knows he was wrong; in fact, he wouldn't have even wanted to start. But when you got together you were young and you had insisted on losing your virginity only once you had reached adulthood and thus the necessary maturity, you did not want your first time to be driven only by the pure hormonal instincts of two teenagers, and Jungkook had never had the courage to insist, because you seemed quite convinced about your ideas. But he needed what you were unwilling to give him, and so he cheated on you for the first time in a school bathroom after class, and he had hated himself no matter how many more countless times, but the more he got the more he wanted more, and even when you had finally given yourself to him, cheating had become an impossible vice to let go of, and the idea that you would always be left waiting for him was particularly tempting. But now it no longer seems that way; you want to leave, to leave him, and he cannot allow it. "You drove me crazy with your constant 'We're too young' or 'Let's wait a little longer'!" You open your mouth wide in shock, "No, don't blame me! You never told me you were against my ideas, and anyway, that's no reason to betray a person you say you love."

You have to get out of that car, you can't wait a second longer. The situation is worse than you thought, he has been cheating on you since the beginning of your story, you are nauseated. "You disgust me," you say before you open the door, you turn to get out, but suddenly your vision goes black, you feel Jungkook press his hand against your nose and mouth, before wrapping an arm around your neck.

When you wake up you realize you are no longer in the car, but you are not even in your house. The only thing you remember is Jungkook making you faint, then nothingness. You look around and what you see is a small room, the walls are lilac and it's littered with puppets of all kinds and colors, the mirror in front of the single bed you're lying on makes it clear the way you've been dressed. You're wearing a high school uniform and your hands are tied to the headboard, you widen your eyes and try to free yourself by pulling at the fabric used to hold you like that. "You've woken up." Jungkook makes his appearance from the bathroom connected to the small bedroom, he is adjusting his dark blue tie and you also notice his attire, he is dressed in a school uniform just like you. "What does all this mean, is this a joke?" you hiss less than amused, but Jungkook doesn't flinch. "I've come to a conclusion," he says as he approaches the bed, you try to get as far away from him as possible by bringing your free legs to your chest, you don't recognize the man in front of you, "I don't want to cheat on you, ever again."

He seems sincere, but you don't trust him. He has broken your heart too many times to deserve trust from you again. "I don't believe you, you're a liar," you say in fact, Jungkook tightens his lips. "I have my conditions," he says anyway, ignoring your words, "You'll still marry me and we'll make up for all the moments you made us miss," he murmurs dangerously, sitting down on the bed and letting a hand approach your thigh, you become an ice statue instantly, finally understanding the reason behind your uniforms. "You're crazy, I'm not going to marry you and we're not going to get anything back at all, to be honest I haven't had an orgasm with you in weeks, just the thought of a traitor like you touching me makes me lose the will to fuck," you murmur angrily, jerking away from his hand in a stinging manner. Jungkook narrows his eyes into two slits, he wanted to be nice to you, but you just don't understand. He's going to use forceful manners, then. "Why must you force me to hurt you, my love?" You look at him terrified, what does he mean?

"Jungkook, don't do anything you might regret, please." He grips your face hard in his hands, staring at you with those deep, dark pools you've always loved, pinning you in place before snapping a deep kiss. You stubbornly keep your lips tight, but Jungkook bites your lower lip forcing you to scream, his voluptuous tongue immediately making room in your mouth and groaning in protest as he plunders your oral cavity. "You'll change your mind, Y/N, by hook or by crook," he hums in your ear with a veil of amusement shining through his voice-who the hell is this man? Jungkook studies you carefully before running his hands over your hips, you shudder at his touch and his fingers stop above the buttons of your school blouse. "You will have only my body, Jungkook," you say in a colorless voice, trying to escape from that absurd reality, the boy opens your blouse, showing off the lace of your pink bra, he observes the graceful shape of your breasts longingly before returning his gaze to you. "I will have everything of you: soul, heart, body -- everything," he whispers before leaning over you, inhaling your scent straight from your bare skin.

"Where have you taken me?" "Haven't you figured it out yet?" You frown, then finally understand. It is his room from when he was a child, that means-. "We're at your parents' house." Jungkook nods. "Do you remember what happened in this room, Y/N?" Yes, you remember, but you don't want to say it out loud, that would make what Jungkook wants to do real. "You rejected me," he hisses suddenly, ripping your blouse off once and for all, you squeal in fright at his force and widen your eyes. He looks furious, his hands are shaking and his shoulders have stiffened under the weight of his fury, "I wanted you and you walked away! No matter how many times we did it when you made up your mind, you still rejected me and forced me to beg from other girls!" he exclaims, totally delirious before attaching his lips to the visible skin of your breasts, you wriggle trying to push him away, but he is too strong, Jungkook is not there with you. He is lost in his memories and blaming you for his betrayals.

Bitter tears accumulate in the corners of your eyes, it's not your fault. It's not your fault at all, but maybe... maybe if you had been more attentive to his needs, too, you would have been enough for him? When he grabs your pussy from above the fabric of your panties you arch your back against your will, his strong and powerful presence still has its hold on you and you tremble trying to stop yourself, you don't know if you are more scared or excited. "Jungkook-" "Say you're sorry," you widen your eyes. "What?" you gasp, his index finger going under the fabric and circling your slit. "Say you're sorry for rejecting me so many times, say you're sorry for all the times you made me feel like an ugly, worthless little boy!" You shake your head, "I never-" you groan, his index finger penetrating you and gently moving a few inches above your soaked entrance, you stiffen at the flame that suddenly invades your limbs. How does he still do this to you? After weeks spent in total apathy, it is now lighting you up in more ways than one, why?

Then you remember, " I don't want to cheat on you, ever again," are such simple words enough to get your body to react? Your body is corrupted by Jungkook, vibrating under his forbidden touch and practically purring, more moisture gushes from your slit, which widens to envelop the second finger Jungkook adds to his penetration, you are trembling trying not to push your hips against the boy, but it is harder than you thought. "I don't want you," you murmur, shaking your head, Jungkook looking at you firmly, tickling sensitive spots that only he knows and is able to reach. "Say it again as you come on my fingers, my love." An unsettling feeling of warmth swells in your lower abdomen. You deny it once more with your head, trying to stop your trembling legs, but it is too late, your walls tightening around his long, deft fingers, exploding in an orgasm you have longed for. "Why are you doing this to me?" you cry, moving your arms forcefully; Jungkook stops you, preventing you from hurting yourself with the ribbons that bind you.

"I wanted to make you pay for all the times you said no by making me feel like a poor, inexperienced fool," he says clutching your skirt with fingers smeared with your liquid pleasure, "But things got out of hand," he stammers, a stinger reaches your heart and your stomach sinks. You don't want to think about how many times he has devoted himself to another woman's body, it hurts too much. "You never told me about it," your words come out in a breathy voice, you try to hold back the sobs. Jungkook moves on top of you, "We will be happy, Y/N" he kisses your forehead moving between your legs, you feel him unzip his pants and enter you with one thrust, it is easy to enter you, you are completely wet and close your eyes listening to his rough, lustful sighs. His swollen cock moves penetrating you repeatedly, the bed moves under his precise and direct strokes and you squeeze your eyes shut, your clitoris throbbing and quivering seeking more direct stimulation and a sigh escapes your lips when the man presses his pelvis against your pubis, crushing your sensitive pearl while with the tip of his cock he reaches to stimulate a particularly receptive spot, you watch the strands of his hair sticking to your sweat-dampened forehead and his eyes begging you not to leave him.

"Y/N!" he moans your name while squinting, "Y/N!" he pushes harder between your soft walls and pulls with his arms on the ropes that keep you tied to the bed. "Jung-" you bite your tongue, refusing to moan his name, but the boy disagrees and demands that you look at him. "I'm sorry, I'll never cheat on you again, I mean it," he whimpers into your ear, "I only love you, only you," he moans and you find yourself closing your eyes, not wanting to give in, not really wanting to, but... "I'm-I'm sorry...for rejecting you" you stammer, pleasure rising once again and the hope of mending your relationship dancing in your chest, "I'm sorry for making you feel unfit." "The others... I just wanted to prove myself" thus confesses his feeling of inadequacy, you know you shouldn't forgive him anyway, but you love him too much, "But now I realize it's only to you that I have to prove something, forgive me" and so you let yourself be corrupted even in your soul. Just a gesture of your head is enough to allow him to come deeply inside you, your breath quickening as you reach for him clutching him in the deepest part of you, throwing your head back. Moments later he unties the knot that binds you to the bed and kisses your wrists softly, murmuring about how perfect you are for him and that once we were married, all would be forgotten because he only wants you. A tear slides down your cheek.

[darling-lambkin]

Book Review: To Be Devoured by Sara Tantlinger

Warning: This book review will contain spoilers. I have tried several times to re-format my analysis in a way that doesn’t give away too much of the content, but with the depth at which I prefer to discuss what I’ve read, it is simply not possible for any of my reviews to be completely spoiler-free. If you do wish to read this book, I encourage you to purchase it for yourself. Keep in mind that I do not claim to be any sort of real literary critic. I am simply one of many people online who enjoys publicly stating their opinions.

Title: To Be Devoured

Author: Sara Tantlinger

Publication Year: 2019

Genre: Horror Fiction, LGBTQ+ Fiction

Average Goodreads Rating: 3.8/5

My Personal Rating: 2.5/5

Pages: 92

Date Started: December 29th, 2024

Date Finished: January 14th, 2025

Synopsys: What does carrion taste like? Andi has to know. The vultures circling outside her home taunt and invite her to come understand the secrets hiding in their banquet of decay. Fascination morphs into an obsessive need to know what the vultures know. Andi turns to Dr. Fawning, but even the therapist cannot help her comprehend the secrets she’s buried beneath anger-induced blackouts.

Going into this book, I was looking forward to the opportunity to watch a protagonist’s mentality deteriorate as they spiral into obsession. Perhaps it’s the lapsed catholic in me, but the notion of consuming flesh has always held a sort of inherent poetic quality for me, be it the flesh of animals or the flesh of our fellow man.

I feel as though I ought to preface this review by saying that as a general rule of thumb, I do not like books written from a first-person perspective. Of course there are exceptions, but for the most part, reading a narrative from the protagonist’s perspective feels a bit juvenile in a “I threw my hair up in a messy bun and put on my Converse with a dress before going downstairs to be sold to One Direction” sort of way; like the types of narratives we used to write as children, before we had fully grasped the concept that perspectives other than our own exist. Having said that, this book felt a bit edgy for my personal taste, in the sense that there were several moments where it felt like it was trying too hard to be something it simply couldn’t. The protagonist herself was downright insufferable, and while perhaps that was the intention, all of the other characters felt so flat that there was simply no relief from Andi’s dark musings. In particular, the sex scene–or rather, the aftermath of the sex scene, was so physically revolting that I considered abandoning the book entirely, not simply because of the particular act, but more so because it felt like shameless shock value. 

With a story stocked with subpar characters, my favorite character had to be Dr. Fawning, as ridiculous as that may sound. From the very beginning, I assumed that Andi’s therapist was a figment of her imagination, to some extent. The wide, glassy eyes, the silence, the constant whinging about the tan suit with the white undershirt–something wasn’t lining up for me, and that was my motivation to keep reading. For a short period, I assumed that she may have been a vulture herself, but I was pleasantly surprised to learn of her true identity, though the way she was treated in the end did make my heart ache for her sake. 

Favorite Quotes:

“Cancer doesn’t give a damn who you trust; it just takes away, eats up a person without giving anything back to the earth.” (pg 16)

“The yearning to crawl inside the warmth of her washes over me like the steamed heat of an open oven door. For her, I would disintegrate inside steam. For her, I would burn.” (pg 36)

“I am a body learning to consume other bodies. There are no wrong bodies here when the meat is all dead and just food.” (pg 61)

“I love you so much. I want to know what every part of you tastes like. What’s wrong with that?” (pg 71)

“I want to apologize. I want to swallow you whole.” (pg 76)

[jovenshires]

top 5 fave scenes you’ve ever written and why? (director’s cut)

OOF......... okay this may be completely incoherent but stay with me. in no particular order:

the haircut scene from the right side of my neck: one of my simplest fics, and one of my faves in that regard. i was really new to writing spommy (literally the only thing i'd even started before this work was domo and that was. a Project) but i think the dialogue is solid, the description isn't too much or too little, and i still think the haircutting fic is an underrated genre and the domesticity is. everything. also the "drowned rat" line is one of my faves ever its just so quintessential tommy bowe to me

cuddling on the couch in he said baby: hsb is to this day one of my fave fics i've ever written and the couch scene is Why. so domestic, so tooth-rottingly sweet, so rooted in the act of caring For someone simply because you care About them even if they can do it themself... not to mention i just really like the dialogue in this one it just sounds like them to me.

the first kiss scene from right where you left me - the fight scene is a CLOSE second bc i loved writing damien yelling it was everything to me. BUT. the kiss was one of the first things i wrote and it's the core of the fic imo where it's like. wow you dumb dipshit shayne topp people CARE about you. he helps you every single fucking time for the love of god shayne

spencer's birthday party in domo: look. LOOK. all of domo, really. but in particular ! the birthday party scene. the silent spommy convo. the minor cast. the 'i like hiding out with you' moment. it's just the iconic combination of longing and the reality of their friendship that i think really gave way to the core of their dynamic in domo

its so hard to pick one scene from this fic but i think im gonna go with the talk on the landing from if we keep score: it was close between this and the first kiss BUT. i set out to examine tommy as a character here and i think i really accomplished it. cannot WAIT to write more of him in the sequel he's one of my favorite fictional characters i've ever written. plus i think the reveal for what spencer's like. Big Secret was being anticlimactic was so iconic. tommy "you self-important piece of shit" bowe my beloved

send me a top 5 anything!

[2000sangel]

hi! saw your match ups were open and wanted to send a request if that's ok! im a woman and my pronouns are he/him. i don't have a gender preference or a type. i'd like romantic if that's alright. as far as aesthetic goes, i'm not really sure what to call it. i work as a receptionist so i'm generally just always dressed smart. i'm not really one for dresses, trousers and shirts are my go to. i wear a lot of jewellery though, at least one ring and one bracelet on each hand. i always wear glasses bc i cannot see at all and i've got long reddish hair. as for personality im quite a quiet person. i always help people where i can. i've got a dry sense of humour and have a tendency towards cynicism but at least i'm fun with it. i'm a very organised person. confrontation is not my strong point. i'm not afraid to stand up for myself and others, i've done it before but i will shake the entire time and i wish that was an exaggeration. i know its bad but i love a good gossip, its fun. i've got a few hobbies and interests, i love reading, mainly crime fiction. that ties into my other interest of true crime, i actually have 2 degrees in forensic psychology. i'm a very music oriented person. not only do i listen to it a lot, but i also play piano and sing. i engage in a lot of genres but i've been balls deep in an inescapable musical theatre phase for about a decade. i used to be in a society for it, definitely better at singing and dancing than acting, and i also did a lot of backstage stuff. i was even stage manager in one production (never again). my job and my degrees required me to be quite tech savvy in the sense thay i needed to know how to use a couple data handling softwares which i somehow managed. things i like - books, animals, sunny weather, warm white lights. things i dislike - people that don't have manners, loud overlapping noises, being rained on, insects. i don't have any characters that are a hard no. i hope i've done everything alright, you're such a talented writer and thank you :)

Hello! Yes, you’ve done everything perfectly and provided me a lot of information which I appreciate ;3 also, thank you for calling me a talented writer, I appreciate it a lot :((

Now, prepare to be sssurprised, as I match you with...

Sir Pentious!

Yes, him! Allow me to explain: you said you’re a cynic, a person distrustful of human sincerity. Sir Pentious is the exact demon who would prove you that some people, in this case him, are sincere. He’s a genuine individual, somewhat ingenuous if you will, who likes the simplest of things such as drinking good tea and having friends.  

Described as a wussy fighter by Vivziepop herself, he really needs somebody who will stand up for him and you seem to be the right person for this job, as you’re not afraid of doing so. He actually quite admires your courage, as even he can notice that you’re nervous when you stand up for other people, and yet he wonders how you manage to do it either way. He thanks you profusely each time this happens, and promises to look out for you in return.

Your job and degrees requiring you to be a quite tech savvy person makes me think that you’d somehow end up getting asked for help in some of his inventions; he trusts that you’re somewhat of a quick learner and smart, plus he simply loves to include you in his hobbies just as you include him in yours (more on this later!), so having you around him and the Egg Boiz is quite the pleasure every time.

Despite being a little silly, Pentious can very well be a gentleman, too. You dislike people with no manners? He’s more than willing to hiss at them if you ever come across any. You hate loud noises? He’ll make sure to invent something, anything that could help you with that. Don’t like being rained on? He will remove his jacket to hold it over your head if he has to. And rest assured he will remind Niffty about the gross bugs circulating in the Hotel if she doesn’t clean well enough.

Sir Pentious is not the most courageous demon around, we’re all aware of this. But! For you he will make an exception, and watch all those true crime videos and read the crime fiction you seem to be so passionate about. After all, you join him in his hobbies, so him participating in your is the least he can do. He’s also not afraid of gory situations themselves, so that’s something. He unexpectedly finds himself enjoying the time spent with you, especially reading, and he definitely interrupts you at least once each time to prepare a cup of tea for both him and you, if you enjoy it.

I can also see him being mesmerized by your skills each time you sing or play piano, and he would definitely try to learn how to sing/play along! He comes up with all these silly little tunes, it’s quite endearing on your side actually, and he surely wants to hear the most modern music you can play for him.

Pentious doesn’t really care what his lover is wearing at all, he will compliment you no matter if you’re dressed classy, cute, edgy or if you’re just getting ready to go to work. To him, you’re the most gorgeous person around, and while he’d be a little more on the shy side at first with compliments, he’d definitely go all out once you’ve been in a relationship for a while. He quite enjoys your liking for jewellery, and will remind you how pretty it looks on you whenever you’re putting it on.

 All in all, I feel like you two would be the cutest representation of ‘opposites attract’!

[mediocre-eternity]

You have something autistic going on with you (lovingly) <3

I’ve seen this theory about myself roll around this website for some time now. I would be lying if I said I haven’t thought on this… though again— I think the books my coven has published have only served to bring you closer to us and not us closer to you.

I’ll explain.

To you, I am a character in a novel. And I do this, too— relate to characters in novels all of the time. I see myself in many, many people on the TV screen or movie screen. I think “they must get it.” But they are fictional characters. What you need to understand about myself and my cousins in the Blood is that you are first and foremost our prey. And though we may flirt and dance and talk with you, maybe even call you friend, your amazement by who we are is second to our natures as killers. I would not hesitate to rip the throat out of any mortal I see fit. So, I cannot be categorized in a way humans are. Whatever horrific atrocities live in my memories, whatever quirks I may have as a result cannot be conceptualized in a way a human could ever understand.

For example, I have such a mastery of the Mind Gift most humans don’t understand they are dead until I’ve done sucking from them. And even then, most die peacefully in a bed of roses, thinking perhaps they might just take a nap. Then they are gone, without any knowledge of who I was or what I was. And though I may use my real name on this website, you, reader, have no idea who I am and wouldn’t recognize me even if we were standing face to face. Do not look upon me as a human because simply, I am not.

Now, that being said. I do have self awareness. I am not a benign creature lost in their own era because I am hundreds of years old. I can understand things. I see that when other’s dissect my carefully curated novel persona, they tend to write me as a person who has many difficulties grasping what they might be going through in their own minds.

I know I’m not normal. I know I don’t share commonalities with others like me. I don’t see or experience the world they do, even though we are all damned immortals. I understand entirely that I do not speak as much as I think and as much as I’d rather just convey my thoughts to others outright. I am better at lying than most, too…

Oh and I fall into these horrible pits of non-existence where I can tune out rather large swaths of time for myself (which is what I’m trying not to go through now, for Daniel’s sake). If allowed and in good company, it can be extremely hard for me to stop talking (another reason why I’d prefer if I can just exist mind-to-mind). If something catches my imagination, I ruminate and write about it for days, months, sometimes years. I read obsessively…the same book over and over and with music too, until I remember the timing of the notes out of habit. There are episodes of shows on the television that I can recite back to front. And movies. Dune, most recently.

I have a reputation as a hyper-sexual and though I enjoy sex, sex as a tool is something I’ve perfected and there are periods of time where I can completely remove any emotion from the act and use my raw talent at seduction to get what I want. I am such a master at sex, it’s merely a routine characteristic of mine.

Those closest to me become frustrated because it’s so extremely hard for me to understand simple directions. The “packet on the glass” meme has been quoted to me many, many times. I am so well aware of the joke in this. Daniel uses it as a way to torment me when he’s trying to explain how to work something out. I would rather just explore the internet for hours…or ponder a new genre of music than understand the minutiae of tit and tat.

I’ve had to make considerable effort to drone out the horrible, torturous nuisance of modern New York City police cars. No longer is it a deafening alarm, but now a horrific rumble that makes my heart and stomach feel like they’re going to explode. It’s taken years to live comfortably with them and they’ve driven me to intense violence in the past.

“Attenzione! Pickpocket! Attenzione! Borseggiatrici!” Has been on repeat in my head for seven solid nights.

Furthermore, I am friends with many a vampire made within the last few decades. Most notably Benji, who I share many, many commonalities with including our young age in which we came into the Blood. Benji always remarks “oh I have ADHD, I’m ADHD, it’s my ADHD” and he was, truly, given a diagnosis for this before many children were, according to him. He believes this is because he was “in the foster care system” and a refugee so they wanted to give him a label as soon as they could. Whoever they are. (Again, me and Benji even share our beginnings as boys in a family of other boys. Though he had no softness from any Master to aide him).

The most interesting conversations have come from us comparing our lives to each other’s. Benji can get locked into one task or one hobby for hours on end as time passes and passes. We both need to be completely alone on our own terms…

I suppose what I mean to convey is that I’m well aware of these little labels that humans might call each other, or some medical diagnosis that might explain why my humor is off or why others are so terrified by my silence… Why it takes me several attempts to convey a mundane idea verbally or even why I clasp my hands a certain way! If a reader finds a kindred spirit in whatever idea of me that they have, then I’m overjoyed that my novelization has shown some camaraderie to you. And, learning of other’s perceptions and experiences has indeed helped myself, too.

My above warning to you, though, mysterious friend, is to not make a habit of finding commonalities with monsters. My kind feasts upon your kind nightly. In great quantities. And any malady or neurodivergence will not, and cannot, protect you from a very unlucky night.

Autism, ADHD, boarder-line, bipolar… What wonderful new ways science has advanced to help the human race.

But all I care about is your Blood.

[grassbreads]

Writer Interview Game

I was tagged for this by @torterrachampion . Thank you!!

Since this is my fandom-specific account, I'm going to keep these answers mostly limited to fanfiction.

When did you start writing?

I have been writing my entire life. I was one of those kids that was convinced I was going to write a novel at age 10 (although I never got further than a couple of chapters). For fanfiction specifically, the first fic I ever wrote was a halloween story project for middle school that I turned into D.Gray-man fanfiction. I started writing and publishing fic for real the following summer, when I was 14. (Much like the novels in elementary school, I never actually finished one of the longfics I started in high school).

Are there different themes or genres you enjoy reading than what you write?

Big time lmao. A *lot* of the original fiction I read is horror, and although I've played around with the idea of writing a horror fic, I'm yet to find a good concept for one. I'm also a huge lover of long multi-chapter fics and elaborate AUs, but I publish mostly oneshots.

Is there a writer you want to emulate or get compared to often?

I honestly cannot remember ever having my work compared to specific other writers?

But as I said, I love elaborate longfic AUs yet really struggle to write them myself (long projects are my enemy), so I would sell my soul to be able to emulate the works of travelingneuritis or oxfordroulette, both of whom I really admire. I've written whole long posts before about how much oxfordroulette's Homestuck fics impressed and impacted me when I first read them like 6 years ago.

Can you tell me a bit about your writing space?

My writing space is anywhere in my apartment :). Sometimes I write at my desk, but more often I'm curled up or crosslegged on my couch or futon. Gotta be cozy and comfy.

What’s your most effective way to muster up a muse?

Since fic is a pretty casual hobby for me these days, I mostly just kinda write when inspiration strikes (hence why I publish roughly one fic per year). That said, rereading canon scenes featuring the characters I'm writing always helps me get their voice into my head.

Are there any recurring themes in your writing? Do they surprise you?

I don't know if I write enough to have big recurring themes? I like writing about characters that aren't doing well mentally, but that's both broad and not always applicable.

I suppose it does always make me laugh when I see "Christmas" listed among my most-used tags on Ao3. I'm not even a christian, but I've written two fics set during christmas bc gift exchanges make for good fluff, and with my output, two times puts it in my top 10.

What is your reason for writing?

Sometimes a story worms its way into my brain so deeply that canon just isn't enough. I need to live in that world to a degree beyond what I can get from canon content alone. And when there isn't enough existing fic by others to scratch that itch, or when there isn't enough of the right *type* of existing fic, I simply have to sit down and make my own.

Also, writing fanfiction is fun :).

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

I'd like to think I'm good at characterization, at least most of the time. And I think I'm good at making sure things flow.

How do you feel about your own writing?

I really like a majority of the things I've written, or at least the stuff I've written as an adult. My really old writing makes me cringe a little sometimes, but I look back on it fondly, and I still reread newer stuff like An Act of Trust and Idle God, Idol Gossip for my own amusement.

The brief answer is that overall, I'm quite proud.

If either of you are interested in joining, I'll tag @cinammonelles and @azapofinspiration :)

[thecinemarattifilmclub]

Join us as we celebrate the films that we love starting with Movies That Make You Want to HUG the Weekend! The List, in no particular order:

Tenet In Her Shoes John Wick Chicago It's Complicated Train to Busan Honorable Mention: Call Me By Your Name, I Am Legend

Tenet, 2020 From the opening scene, Tenet is an electrifying blend of heart-pounding action and mind-bending science fiction. Director Christopher Nolan delivers a captivating and visually stunning film. The Protagonist, portrayed by John David Washington, is a complex figure who moves through the film asking the same questions we have as viewers. The cast is fantastic, and there's this one unforgettable scene towards the end where The Protagonist has a revelatory, emotionally charged moment with Neil, Robert Pattinson's character, that leaves you heartbroken. I love this movie and will watch it again and again! -Alana

In Her Shoes, 2005 Often overlooked in the flurry of rom-coms released in the early aughts, director Curtis Hanson’s In Her Shoes exists as one of the most endearing films of the genre. In this 2005 gem, the film’s leads, Toni Collette, Cameron Diaz, and Shirley MacLaine, each deliver performances that are beautifully nuanced in telling the story of two estranged sisters finding their way back to each other, and themselves, after reconnecting with their estranged grandmother. Yes, this is a story about love - the unexpected ways we might find it, learning to permit ourselves to experience it, how it profoundly changes us, and what we are willing to do to rebuild it after it’s been broken - but this film is about so much more than that. In Her Shoes pulls the curtain back on how grief and mental illness change our relationships in ways that can reverberate through generations and how we might be able to pick up the pieces and build something beautiful for ourselves. This movie fundamentally changed me when I first watched it. I love watching movies exploring the depths of sisterhood, both loving and complicated, and this one just means so much to me. -Victoria John Wick, 2014 Keanu Reeves, a fan favorite, is dynamite in the John Wick series. The movies are action-packed, well-acted, and feature a simple yet intriguing storyline. Whenever I'm in the mood for an exciting film with snappy dialogue and an interesting cast, I always turn to a John Wick film. Among the series, the original John Wick is my go-to because what's more exhilarating than a grieving hitman seeking vengeance for his puppy and his car? I mean, if "you've effed with the wrong one" was a person, it'd be John Wick. I'm here for it! -Alana Chicago, 2002 Based on the 1926 play and 1975 stage musical of the same name, 2002’s Chicago is a soaring accomplishment from director Rob Marshall. This musical crime dramedy tells the spellbinding tale of Roxie Hart and Velma Kelly, both inmates on Murderess’ Row at Cook County Jail, as they chase celebrity and notoriety while awaiting trial. What is at once a tour-de-force of its own merit is also an enchanting homage to its source material, this film is one I simply cannot get enough of. The performances from Renee Zellweger, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Richard Gere, and Queen Latifah are electrifying and completely mesmerizing, each wholly embodying their lauded characters. Aside from the spectacular acting each delivers in this film, the musical performances are simply out of this world, with credit to the original music and lyrics by John Kander and Fred Ebb respectively, of course, but the production comes to life in a whole new way on the big screen. I watch this film a few times a year and highly recommend keeping the soundtrack in your rotation. -Victoria It’s Complicated, 2009 Oscar-nominated writer and director Nancy Meyers followed up a legendary four-film run (The Parent Trap, What Women Want, Something’s Gotta Give, and The Holiday) with 2009’s rom-com It’s Complicated. Starring Meryl Streep, with charming supporting performances from Alec Baldwin and Steve Martin, this film follows a 10-years divorced baker as she navigates life as an empty-nester and discovers what might be next for her - which appears to include an affair with her now-married ex-husband (Baldwin) and a blossoming romance with the architect remodeling her home (Martin). This film explores the complications of divorce and moving on, while highlighting the joys and pits of rediscovering yourself, especially in your golden years. While this film was met with mixed reviews from critics, there is an undeniable sense of the Nancy Meyers charm that makes it the cozy and beloved film it is to me. Like any Meyers film, the set design is a character and story to discover in itself and perhaps one of my favorite elements of this movie - it’s an aesthetic feast! I have loved this movie for years and it’s one of those movies that pulls on your heartstrings, tickles your funny bone, and makes you feel hopeful for the future by the final scene. -Victoria

Train to Busan, 2016 Train to Busan is an electrifying and almost unmatched zombie film. Like any good movie, it has emotional depth. Your investment in the characters and their survival catapults you from scene to scene. Yeon Sang-ho’s directorial choices build the tension and suspense required for the film’s propulsion, but he also incorporates space for you to catch your breath. And with this plot, you'll need it. Gong Yoo and Ma Dong-seok are a great pair, using their ingenuity and sheer power to fight their way through zombie hoards. Whenever I'm looking for something exciting to watch, this film never fails to deliver. -Alana

[spicybylerpolls]

Can anyone give an idea of why sexual thoughts about these two are objectively bad? 

Ok, first think of the kind of creepy perv who it would scare you to know they are thinking sexually about you. Is it because they look or seem dirty and gross? What does that actually mean? 

Secondly, are they a predator because of it? Are they acting like a predator? Or are they simply thinking private thoughts and you have no idea they’re even doing it other than a hunch? 

And lastly, is the idea of deviant sexuality something that grosses you out, period? 

These three are sounding suspiciously like the subtext of stranger things’ plot. Monsters and prejudice vs an apparently deviant predator. 

The main issue against this blog and the practises it endorses seems to be that people don’t want to KNOW. You can keep your deviancy to yourself. Which is an entirely different branch of the issue than whether it is actually ok to be ‘deviant’ or not. 

If you’re not hurting anyone, what makes sexual fantasy objectively bad? Ok, so maybe it’s the very idea of byler fans being a bit lewd about these two teens. Perhaps it seems like these fans are bad people at heart because they give in to those desires of enjoying byler in a sexual context. Although again that screams to me of the id and the shadow self and the dark psyche - what Vecna represents in s4. Considering that healthy sex/fantasy is enjoyable, pleasurable, fun, why is this considered more perverted than other taboo topics like violence? 

Is it because taking pleasure from someone (without their knowledge, as when fantasising about someone) is considered worse than doing something unenjoyable / painful / bad / violent? Of course sex can be used as violence, but no one here is doing that. Yet still, some bylers think that fantasy is a violation of something akin to committing physical violence. 

I don’t know the answers, I’m just spitballing. It’s just interesting to me, perhaps because I have a background in visual art and in theatre. I’ve got experience discussing and considering works that examine pretty much any taboo you can imagine. For example, there’s a play from the POV of a convicted paedophile in prison. There’s also a play called Sylvia and Sheep or something (can’t remember) but it’s about bestiality. It basically asks why our society considers bestiality to be morally wrong, when only fifty years ago, homosexuality was considered to be just as heinous. The answer seems obvious: animals can't speak and so can't give consent. But the play makes interesting and surprising counter-arguments.

These plays are both controversial works. Not to say I agree with the ideas in practise, but as an artist, I cannot disagree with the examination of those ideas. 

So perhaps people here think that byler can't give consent, because they're too young to know better, or because you're thinking about them without their consent. But you can see how both of these arguments don't hold up considering they are fictional characters, and we are imagining them together, not self-inserting into the narrative. Also, you don't consent to think something lol.

Also to bring this around to the performers in case anyone was still claiming that Finn or noah themselves might be uncomfortable with sexual content for byler, Finn has said his favourite genre of literature is transgressive fiction, which includes authors like Charles Bukowski, who are rather dark and twisted. He said to the audience at the con (who were mainly minors) that these books are not suitable for them lol. 

Also, I COULD use this last as more vague evidence that Finn may indeed be queer but I’m not going to go there 

very interesting points! much to think about.

[reikiajakoiranruohoja]

I commented on this post, but I want to explain why I often feel this trope is misused. I want to be clear, this is not a bad trope. It, like ANY trope, can be done well. The problem arises when it's not used to give a satisfying end to the villain but instead to save the author from having to figure out what letting a bad guy live means. To put a complex matter WOEFULLY simply; There is very little trust in redemptive justice and a persistent belief that letting someone bad live will only result in further harm. One of the biggest genres guilty of this is the detective series. I have spoken before about this, but it bears repeating. Killing/the death of the criminal is narratively treated as the better option to putting them through the justice system. In fact, the justice system is at times treated as a guarantee the baddie will return/get away with it. The reason this is darkly funny to me is that the shows are supposed to be about how the detectives are doing good and saving people. And that killing other people is bad. But you cannot trust the justice system, because it will never punish the bad guy. Or, more likely, it isn't the punishment the viewers WANT.

But killing is still a crime, so any way to get the bad guy killed without getting the detective's hands dirty is used. Acts of God, the bad guy just pretending to surrender and such are used. It rarely if ever feels coherent, because its going against the whole point of the genre. Like anything in fiction, a bad guy falling on their own sword has to be earned. It has to come from the character's own folly and flaws, not because the bad guys HAS to die.

[unproduciblesmackdown]

always looking for billions theses and seems like its own explorations / questions / Themes can be given a "Fantasy Vs Reality" lens, not regarding genre (i.e. of course billions is fictional, and even a nonfictional documentary would have innate Perspectives) but in terms of how billions has characters motivated by Fantasies of how things could be for them, their platonic ideals of success, but their realities don't live up to this; while also billions writes through its characters about perspectives supposedly shared by audiences on what would seem Ideal, Desirable, Better to us, then confront us like that even though damian lewis is supposedly objectively hot, supposedly talking in the most fun, smart ways, supposedly set up to seem like a winner to us, to be admired if not also emulated, a fantasy of how you yourself could be perceived by others, surely (lol. lmao), here is the Reality that maybe also he's shitty? maybe he stops aligning with some Ideal Person we'd imagine?

and billions elevating itself by challenging even its own Fantasies, dropping in a nonbinary character, who cannot be cishet and doesn't share the same tastes, interests, styles, approaches, personality traits, etc as those who are "normal" there do: thus their Ideals, Fantasies, can't simply match up & fit in either. the way they can comment on what's just taken for granted as the one way to do things, even without speaking, just by doing things differently, being different, while being here, and any success they find being a challenge to "well, surely this is what we all want. this is how we'd all like to be." because there's other options that dare exist, and aren't "proven wrong" through failure, though we do see that, also entirely relevant to things billions is always about, they still need Power to not be pushed out / sabotaged to neutralize this inherent threat they pose as straightforward competitor but also counterargument to people's "this is just objectively correct" entire ideas of their own identities and lives and Realities: how taylor needs axe, a powerful, "correct" ally to back them up and start meting out some power to them too, which he'd inevitably resent.

interesting and also all leading to my saying "and in billions' fantasy ideal world: the autistic people who always seem to be around would at least correctly be endlessly abused by their allistic superiors" lmfao, there is No "reality check" about this except that you Might notice winston's superlatively talented, unusually kind & cooperative in how he acts, virtually always also unusually correct, perceptive, insightful....feeling more akin to like the s1 "reality check" that axe is shit actually. oh you thought winston has admirable / desirable / worthwhile traits? checkmate: isn't he so annoying though & wretchedly pitiable at best. and billions Not At All unusual for this, abuse & inferiority as part of a fantasy and all, i just am specifically here to specifically note & resent this & go "question yourself!!! as the show that questions its own material the whole time, is the point!!! billions was never about 'isn't capitalism just the most epic. yes' whether a viewer would agree or disagree, and this is not a secret" like reality-checking fantasies and pondering about Power, but the ableist abuse that's still very much idealized as a response to autistic people's existence, from "some people deserve the bullying & ostracization & dehumanized inferior status" to "a formalized process for abuse can force autistic kids to be Normal, i.e. act Correct: this is so officially recommended that custody of a child can be leveraged against a parent who might 'withhold' this abuse"....like also i hate it & am sick of it so. like don't worry billions i'd be just as pissed at anything else i actually watched with unquestioned Autistic Character Gets Rightfully Punished For It as a fun fantasy! you're not special. but you do have winston at all, and so much, because it is so "fun" to laugh at him & enjoy the fantasy of shitting on him b/c he deserves it, through [just sooomething about some people!!] qualities such that he'd have to be a whole different person to escape, as said to him in the show :)

and you do have the nonbinary, cishet-fantasy-reality-checking taylor mason to even be able to support the premise of his existence on the show. and i'm here having the metanarrative reality vs reality analysis of going on the journey to out & out say "winston is autistic..." and then several seasons later "and he's treated abusively. and this happens to him differently than it does others, b/c he's autistic" and to resent the entire thing for what it is without apology or mitigation. while ofc still having what fun was always had, and yknow, it's a better time to not have to take in what material is offered and go "well :( i guess this guy's being shitted on for being disabled could be given endless benefit of the doubt?" like Just Like Reality!!! he's a delight and he's too good for the show he's on, just like taylor, who is so much more powerful than the nonsense they're dropped amidst that they have to be Held Back to not shooting star into the stratosphere: getting the closest to this at the end of s4 after Winston, the only one "wrong" enough to not simply silently resent taylor while reassuring them to their face, reminds them of the reality of what they're doing & going to be doing indefinitely at this rate, and in doing so, also reminds them of their own ideals & fantasies, which are so different from axe's & co's....and here they are, not allowed to listen to winston much more at all, not allowed to break out and lead the way in this season's takedown plotline b/c we Must focus enough on wendy & wags faffing around, who'd be left in their dust otherwise, billions s7 [720 min] billions s7 if taylor wasn't held back by the scruff of their neck [18 min]. taylor's power level if even providing an Alternate fantasy/reality conversation to consider through them was given more room for an autistic person not being deemed inferior besides "magnanimously not demeaning them to their face, sometimes" like your friend your lover your valued employee your secret weapon your clairvoyant Your reality-check to temper your broadsword. or, of course, winston simply getting to do his damn thing regardless of how other people see him, which is partly found in his being here at all, seen by everyone as Unideal, but the writing holds him back hard too, where he can hardly speak for being told to shut up directly or through insults, and if he gets to play into a plotline at all, it's not about him / is taken away from him so that now only serious worthy characters are substantially involved, and he doesn't get to ricochet around and topple this flimsy pinball machine for it, billions could not handle him not being "checked," which looks like being Kept In Line, inferior, with superior parties taking & withholding things from him; it can't or won't even imagine this, focus is granted him to elevate some other character in comparison, and often to simply revel in the Fantasy of "yes Yes hurt the autistic person as they deserve" like god i wish that were me, right, we all know & hate those losers, he's not even tall? which....fits his inferiority? hey there's not eugenics in the ableism, is there, what the. any more than there's not abuse in our universal fantasy of responding to the autistic people around us by treating them as lesser. sure is an organic thread of a journey out here like having plenty of this recurring Exercise in looking at what's going on around here & putting words to it. and how stunning that an actor with knowledge & experience surrounding pretending to be someone in an "annoying loser nerd we hate" role is the one lending a spark to a part that otherwise would've just been someone rejected completely after one scene. but somehow rejecting him over & over in so many different ways is just too good to let go, b/c there's just some kind of richness here when the writing couldn't approach him as a Person, but the acting can & does. just like reality as well :) Those People who, regardless of your lack of imagining them as such, are actually: people

[badedramay]

Something that has really begun to bother me recently on Pak drama Twitter is the hyperfocus on two or three male leads. Fairytale and Yaqeen Ka Safar are two dramas I moderately enjoyed, and I liked Farjaad and Asfi as characters. It's also arguable there isn't an extensive list of appreciable male leads to write home about anyway. But I'm bored verging on irritated that these two are all people can seem to congratulate. Makes me think people haven't actually watched as many dramas or are as invested in the industry's progression as they act like they are..

ouff i've been thinking about this lately!

ol they most definitely aren't interested in the industry as a whole. personally, I don't blame them. everyone has their own tastes and if Farjad or Asfi are the only two characters that satisfy the tastes of most of the stantwt population then that's not their fault. we have to accept that the PakDrama stantwt is actually a very niche audience and a one that keeps rotating with years. so like..stans that were active on twt back in 2015 aren't as active now cuz life moved them in a certain direction. or even if they are still active here, they end up getting more into the Turk dramaland or kdramas so they just don't talk about PakDramas anymore. with each inactive Pakdrama account, a certain kind of discourse on some particular dramas get sealed off. and it's not just PakDrama stantwt that behaves this way. i have seen it happen with kdramas stantwt as well. for the newer fans, history begins right from the show that got them into a particular genre of fiction (in a general sense). like i have been following both PakDramas and Kdramas for more than a decade now and I have seen first hand how in both instances the trends and sensibilities have changed. many newer fans haven't. so they cannot get into the older shows without feeling disconnected with them cuz of how "outdated" they look. this disconnect doesn't give them the chance to then critique objectively. this and also how there's no one really interested in reading such critique.

for example..Faysal Qureshi is a senior actor, right? the man has worked in the industry for decades and he works HARD to still keep in shape in a way that he can justify his position as a "leading man". but on stantwt he is only criticized for "trying too hard" and only "romancing women half his age without shame" as if the man HASN'T worked with co-actors his age. Fitoor and Farq aren't the only two projects he has done in his career. the man has done a Baba Jani as well. as well as Haiwan. as well as Roag. he has been the leading man of two of the best Umera Ahmed written scripts Meri Zaat Zara-e-Benishan and Qaid e Tanhai. his current choice of work cannot discredit his past filmography. if this man is adapting to the changing trends of the industry, how has that his fault? but you won't see such discourse of stantwt happening because CURRENTLY he's a problematic man only doing problematic shows with problematic age-difference pairings. why? disconnect of the past from the present.

as for why characters like Farjad and Asfi are hailed as best heroes that's because they are pure "green flags". because these characters have no moral flaws, their goodness stands the test of time. because the stories they are part of didn't demand that they make any mistakes for any conflict to happen in the plot, they remain safe from judgement. and because they benefit from being part of a "romance" that has a sizable following and also they are played by men who have a "crushable" personality..they simply get amplified more as the "best heroes to ever hero" cuz they have MORE fans backing up their claims. warna dekha jaye toh Obi's character in both Surkh Chandni and Baaghi were supportive, progressive men who unconditionally loved their partners and had no glaring moral flaws that would make them the subject of lengthy criticism. but because Obi doesn't have the kind of fangirly fans that Ahad and Hamza have toh Amaan and Sheheryar don't get talked about as much as Asfi and Farjad do. it's just the maths of it all.

from my experience of being in this stanning/fangirling mess for over half my life I can confidently say that for anything to become popular and to retain that popularity you need to TALK about it. one constantly has to bring the subject up in different discourses. and that takes a lot of time and energy. it's easy enough when it's an ongoing phenomenon and there are many similar voices sharing the same energy to talking about this one particular thing but the real test starts when that one thing stops airing. with newer and better things constantly taking the place of the old and flawed, not everyone will have the same dedication towards a particular character or story to reinterpret or transform it in such a way that it fits the ever changing sensibilities of the current audience. like heck..i've been talking about doing a proper extensive Diyar e Dil rewatch for DAYS now but i just can't find the time and energy to dedicate the hours to it the way I know the show requires. mujhse khud nahin horaha..kisi aur ko kya blame karna?

[avenmeu]

For roleplaying purposes only: This is a work of parody and entirely fictional. No connection to real individuals or events is intended, and any similarity is purely coincidental.

ACT I : UNVEILING HIM.

Name : Vance Atherton

Nickname : Ven

Gender : Male

Birthdate : 18 August 1992

Birthplace : Toronto

Nationality : Singaporean

Height : 181 cm

Sexuality Heterosexual

Blood Type : O

Zodiac : Leo

MBTI INTJ

Hobbies : Running

Occupation : Full-time Hitman and Part-time Coffee Shop Owner.

The air in the PMO office was thick with the scent of expensive cigars and the subtle fear that clung to everyone who worked there. Vance Atherton, or Ven as he was known, moved through the labyrinth of corridors like a ghost, his presence unnoticed, his movements fluid and silent. He was the son of Marcus Atherton, the right-hand man of the President, and the untouchable man of the PMO.

Ven's childhood had been a brutal symphony of his father's rage. Marcus, a man of shadows and secrets, saw his son as an extension of his own will, a weapon to be honed and wielded. Discipline, in Marcus's lexicon, meant broken bones and stifled screams. Ven learned to fight back, not against his father, but against the world that had made him this way. He became a ghost, a shadow, a whisper in the night.

His father's connections, however, provided him with an impenetrable shield. Every hit, every disappearance, every silenced voice was swept under the rug, attributed to accidents, rival gangs, or simply vanished into the ether. Marcus, with his intricate web of influence, ensured that Ven's trail remained cold, his hands always clean.

Ven moved through the city like a predator, his senses heightened, his instincts razor-sharp. He was a ghost in the shadows, a phantom in the night, a silent executioner with a conscience he tried to bury deep within the recesses of his mind. The weight of his father's legacy pressed down on him, a suffocating blanket of guilt and despair.

One night, he was assigned a hit on a whistleblower, a young woman who threatened to expose a government scandal. As he closed in on her, he saw a reflection of himself in her terrified eyes, a flicker of the innocence he had lost long ago. The image shattered something within him.

He couldn't do it.

He let her go, disappearing into the night.

His father, alerted to Ven's failure, confronted him with a chilling calm. "You disappoint me, son," Marcus hissed, his voice a venomous whisper. "Weakness is a luxury you cannot afford."

But something had shifted within Ven. The weight of his father's expectations, the suffocating grip of his control, finally began to loosen. He couldn't live his life as an extension of his father's will, a puppet dancing on a string.

He knew the risks, the danger that lurked in the shadows. But for the first time in his life, Ven chose himself. He chose freedom, even if it meant breaking free from the chains of his father's legacy, even if it meant facing the wrath of the most powerful man in Singapore.

The path ahead was uncertain, fraught with peril. But Ven, the ghost, the shadow, the silent executioner, was finally ready to step into the light, to forge his own destiny, even if it meant facing the darkness within himself.

ACT II : WRITER'S NOTE.

Hello, this is DAMNZLE speaking.

Previously, I want to clarify that all content posted on both platforms (X and Tumblr) is solely for the purpose of Ven's character development.

This account is Strictly In Character. All interactions by Ven will adhere to the established characteristics I've created.

My preference is to conduct plot only and in Indonesian only.

Regarding Adult Freight content, please note that Ven is open to exploring various kinks and the use of frontal Indonesian terminology.

Offers for writing in different genres are welcome and can be discussed privately via direct message.

Thank you.

[inland3mpired]

The Watermelon Woman (1997)

This film was directed by Cheryl Dunye (and produced by a Brooklyn College professor!). The film is part mock-umentary and part just a fictional story that follows Chery (a character played by, and named after, the director) as she researches a 1940s black actress credited as "The Watermelon Woman". The film is a fantastic encapsulation of mid 90’s culture and attitude and the queer scene at the time.

Not only does the film pose an endearing perspective of lesbian culture at the time but it also focuses on racism within the film industry. This movie feels very personal, like a very genuine, real story from the director. I think this is a very unique, undocumented perspective of the time period; this is similar to 'Shakedown' (2018) but in a recreated, acted out film rather than a documentary.

"Viewers may confuse the Watermelon Woman—named Faye Richards—for a real-life figure, especially since Black women really were limited to such roles in Hollywood pictures in that era. Richards, it turns out, is fictional, but the trope certainly isn't. And we are reminded that to be a Black female cinephile like Cheryl is to face constant rejection of your own image from an industry you both admire and struggle to see yourself in." This is a review left on Letterboxd that really resonated with me.

I think by creating this film Cheryl Dunye is a great example of the concept: "Difference as source of strength and creativity". I have never seen a film like this, it is like watching a chapter from Dunye's personal experience. The film capitalizes not only on Cheryl's (both as the character & director) sexuality and race; creating a film that is hard to compare to virtually any other film that has been made simply because it is its own genre. She used what makes her different to create a powerful story that everyone can relate or see themselves in to some extent. And even if a viewer cannot see themselves in the film, if nothing else, the movie shows them a perspective that is new and otherwise virtually undocumented.

This film is a must watch, original, funny, and beautiful. Cheryl Dunye is a genius.

[rainswept]

It must be so hard having so few problems in life that interacting with someone who believes it's bad to hurt real people over a cartoon sends you in a spiral. I would LOVE if my biggest problem was "I talked to someone who thinks irl abuse over fiction is bad"

the way you spin your narrative makes it seem as if being a proshipper means what you said; “someone who thinks irl abuse over fiction is bad”. that is not even within the same genre as what it means to be a proshipper. in core belief, what makes a proshipper a proshipper, is believing it is okay — under the guise of fiction — to promote problematic ideals and romanticize them. guess what; enough time familiarizing yourself with such a thing will cause it to bleed into your daily life. it starts as a guilty pleasure, “not harming anyone”, but that is a dangerous path to walk. why? eventually, it may become more of a “maybe this isn’t so bad as i thought”, because as much as you may hate to believe it, fiction does indeed affect reality. proshipping does hurt real people. the fact you can’t see that is saddening.

also, i love that you are assuming that this is my biggest problem simply because i spoke about it once. i promise you, it’s not. but as a victim of acts that would, in proship, be seen as “okay” myself, it is something i cannot condone and would never wish to be associated with. by the way, this is nowhere near a spiral, and i genuinely from the bottom of my heart hope you never have to experience one.

next time, come and have a conversation with me off anonymous. it’s sad, really.