#but you know who cares about *that* i guess when you have children to guilt trip into telling you why they so selfishly cut you off

[kykyonthemoon]

7 Days the mini-series

About this series: ✈️

Day 06: My Defender

Immediately after receiving the message, I hurried to the headmaster's office. There, I found Caleb waiting on one of the seats outside. His white uniform was covered in mud, he had bruises all over his body, one side of his face was slightly swollen, and there was a bleeding wound at the corner of his mouth.

"Caleb? What happened to you?"

I sat down beside him and held his hand timidly out of fear of hurting him. Caleb didn't look at me and turned his face away.

"Caleb?" I pulled his hand, still he refused to look at me. So I wrapped him in my arms. "It hurts, doesn't it?"

Caleb sat still and let me hold him for a while longer. Even though he didn’t respond, I could guess what had happened on the way here. I overheard the other students gossiping that there had been a fight between Caleb and another fifth grader, I just didn’t know why.

After a while, Caleb seemed to calm down, he took my hand off and started talking:

“I’m fine. Gran is talking to the headmaster inside.”

“Why didn’t you go to the nurse’s office?”

“I’m all right.”

He responded, even waved his arms and legs to let me know that, unlike the other children who were crying and running into the nurse's office, he was still fine. But I just frowned at him.

“What happened?” I asked. Caleb had never caused trouble at school. He had always been a good student, a well-liked boy by both teachers and his peers. His energy was all for sports and extracurricular activities. I never imagined seeing him in a situation like this.

Caleb didn’t want to tell me, but after some pleading, he finally spoke: 

“They were talking bad about you.”

“Huh?” I was stunned. Caleb simply explained that not everyone in school liked me. They made up stories and said negative things about me out of envy. Those words reached Caleb and turned him enraged. As a result, he gave them all a short trip to the nurse's office.

After hearing this, I gently gripped his hand. The sight of him using Evol to hang a few kids on a tree must have been hilarious. I was very grateful that he was so protective of me. However, I wasn't planning to be the cause of his troubles.

“I don’t care what they think of me,” I said. “Because they’re not important to me. I only care what Caleb thinks of me…”

“You are the most wonderful person in my eyes!” Caleb replied without a thought. “If anyone dares to say anything bad about you, I’ll put them up the tree again—Ouch…”

Caleb grimaced and gently massaged the wound on his face. I pulled his hand away, saying, “When I fall or get hurt, you always blow on my wound, right?” I puffed out my cheeks and blew gently on the wound on Caleb’s face. HDespite being a little taken aback, he obediently sat still. “After that…”

I leaned a bit closer to him and delicately kissed his injured cheek, just like he had kissed the cut on my palm when I was careless before.

“This is a blessing of speedy recovery for you…”

*

* *

Opening the headmaster’s office door, I saw the kid sitting alone outside. One of his cheekbones was swollen, his clothes were untidy and covered in mud. He peered up at me with determination and a hint of guilt.

“Am I in trouble, Mom?”

In that child, I saw the imprints of the boy who had been by my side many years ago.

“Of course you are. Violence is not the way to solve problems. I've taught you better than that."

The child dropped his head, disappointed. My severe expression eased, and I softly ruffled his hair. "You also need to know that it was the right thing to do to stand up for your friend."

He glanced up at me with a cheerful expression. I added, “However, next time, remember to use your brain, not your brawn. You're just like your father.”

The child smiled and grasped my hand tightly. On the way home, an airship sailed overhead from Skyhaven. The little boy waved up and said:

“I think Dad will be home soon!”

“Let’s hurry then. How about we throw him a lovely welcome back party at home?"

[nonuggetshere]

So they didn't become void, they were "born" that way

In FaaF there are different species and kinds of higher beings (still a MASSIVE work in progress tbh, trying to figure out how these cunts work, but for now I'm thinking they're extremely rare species with far greater abilities and lifespans than a normal bug's that have a chance to ascend to true godhood (but even if they don't ascend that doesn't stop mortals from worshipping them as they're already very god-like from a normal bug's perspective)), "pale beings" being one of these kinds/mutations.

Well, there was also a different kind once, "void beings", but they all went extinct a very long time ago by the beginning of the story. Shade Lord was one, and last, of them and it lost its life in a fight with Radiance - the same fight that drove her to make her permanent residence in the dream realm out of her new-found fear of death (which backfired spectacularly ngl). Its body was buried in the Abyss, where it broke apart and decayed, or decayed as much as a non-living thing can, before it was unearthed many ages later by the pale wyrm.

Not much is known about them since they've been gone for so long, and the vessels are the only void beings remaining, but since they're not "pure" void beings it'd be foolish of anyone to assume that the ancient extinct species behaved the same way as these ones do. But they were generally greatly feared thanks to the void's freaky, dangerous properties, which partly lead to their extinction as some of the other higher beings purposefully attacked and killed them whenever they stumbled across one out of fear. Now the only thing remaining of them are the rare void sources, where their former bodies still refuse to fully die.

Shade Lord does get accidentally resurrected in the story bc of all the tomfoolery happening with its body before almost immediately getting killed again by Ghost who inherits its title and reign. Don't ask me how that works, haven't figured that out yet. Magic god shit or something idk LMAO

[ourceliumnetwork]

pardon me while i emotionally process all over everything

Monday's just decided to kick off really hard - it's only the one thing, and it's just stewing in the back of my mind really hard and has been for *checks time stamps* 2.5 hours.

the important thing for me to remember is my dad (and my mom too) is not owed nor does he deserve an explanation for why i cut him and mom off. They truly honestly probably do not understand why I made that choice and frankly i think the fact that that hasn't changed over the past year is telling about how little they truly look at their own actions.

I want to explain but as soon as I put it into words, I can immediately strike myself down with the things that I know they will say. Any attempt at giving any explanation will be met with denial and that's just not a battle I feel like participating in.

I spent my whole life doing the emotional heavy lifting for my family of origin and I got tired of it. I'm struggling with the way my brain is wired because of it on a daily basis. This effects my whole life and my loved ones. And it didn't even do what it was supposed to when i developed the coping mechanisms.

I am really really cognizant of it because we've added a 4th person to our home and I'm scrambling to learn them and their tells and their moods quickly so I can be The Best At Helping in any situation. And I'm running into the wall of "that's not my job and is generally unwelcome unless asked for specifically" and so I am sat here taking in footsteps and movement styles and tones of voice trying to catalog them for future reference and not being able to do anything with that and knowing it's a flawed coping skill to deal with an unstable and volatile home life in my early childhood and I just want more than ANYTHING to be able to backsass and confront my parents about the way they've fucked me up and I can't.

i will type it all out and immediately change my mind - the words aren't correct, they can never be correct because the words don't matter. I could say everything perfectly and it wouldn't make any difference because my parents are dead set on invalidating any stance I make for myself and myself alone.

And also guilt tripping at the end of truly bad news (but like, neutral truly bad news) is not the way to get an explanation. It's a way to make me angry that I cannot begin the proper grieving process ahead of time because you're making a last ditch attempt to dig into me and not let me get away without an answer to the question you do not deserve to have answered. There was no indication they have looked at themselves and seen the way that they treated me was bad enough to cause my brain to splinter into multiple different people just in order to get by. They do not understand how much i wanted to die when I was trying to be a good kid for them. And they can't understand because they didn't pay attention then so me telling them about it now will look like i'm making things up.

They also have in the past given me large sums of money that I didn't have to work for dad to get, but it always came with other - more fraught - strings to deal with. and knowing that they bailed me out makes me feel super guilty for not giving them an explanation but it also really hammers home how much I just cannot say "you treated me badly" because they will throw that money in my face and say "we did everything for you, we deserve your love for the bare minimum of affection!" and money, btw, is not affection but they don't know that and now I have to figure that shit out.

and also we never repaired our relationship after I stopped working for him. I'm pretty sure he took my leaving the company personally - and he should, it was because of him I couldn't work for him anymore - but i know it's been worked around in their minds as my choice for completely unfathomable reasons that they clearly just cannot wrap their heads around because it doesn't make sense. why would i just cut them off, they've been good parents! why would I just leave the company, he was a great boss!

but they weren't, and he wasn't, and I suffered for it and I hid my suffering and because i hid my pain (as i was taught to do from VERY early on because i have been in pain MY WHOLE LIFE) they will never believe i was in it in the first place. because they don't believe me about my physical pains either and never have. why would they care about the mental and emotional pains?

they'd probably also come back with "Everyone's messed up by their parents, you need to just get over it" if I did bring up that their behavior towards me fucked me over. Because that's what they've said in the past - maybe not directly to me but in general.

a lot of my assumptions of their responses are based on what they used to just say. or continue to say. or how they'd say it. or how they'd talk about specific other people who i didn't think were bad people but boy did the way they talk about them make me go "well i guess i can't like that person now" and it isolated me from everyone. I had no way out, I had no escape i had no one but myself.

well and my internet friends but for a very long time I had a hard time remembering those were real fucking people on the other end of the internet connection, because i didn't have anyone else but the computer and those who i had a connection to through said computer.

oh and the reason this all came up?

my grandpa's going into hospice - he was in the hospital all weekend. he's the one with cancer that he stopped treating because the treatments were taking too much of a toll on his body. They had to cut their vacation short to take my grandparents back home and that same day my grandpa went into the hospital - dad made sure to mention the vacation to me, because i guess that's important. Didn't tell me any details on how the hospice thing is going to work (maybe he didn't know, maybe he didn't think that's important for me coordinating how to contact my grandparents to check in but whatever), but it was imperative that i know that their vacation ended early so they could take him home. And it was important to guilt trip me at the end to try and reopen communication with me on the email i deliberately did not give out to them, and they had to circumvent my blocks elsewhere in order to acquire because they didn't ask me for it.

I don't know how many people in my family know I'm not talking to my parents. I don't know how far that information has spread I don't know who leaked my email to them (that's a strong way of phrasing it but it feels about as violating, since i rock up into my inbox today and get jumpscared by my fucking dad's name and his absolutely abysmal choice in subject lines. literally could have said "grandpa update" or something similar. no he just said "Stuff" and then opens with "Hope you're doing well. Grandpa's in the hospital" and like????

he got lucky i opened it because i can see the message preview and knew it had important information. I might have seen it and gone "y'know, I don't care what he has to say about "stuff"" and hit delete and not known.

but like WTF dad. wtf.

go to hell, my dude. go to the absolute eebiest of deebies you cuntwaffle.

and take mom with you.

[misswynters]

Lil Daredevils with big hearts

featuring. ekko x wife!reader

note. i need more aunt! jinx (this is horrible i don’t like it but i’ve spent way too much time on this)

requested. by anon

Your birthday had been a quiet affair so far, just you, Ekko, and the twins at the Firelight hideout. You hadn’t expected much; after all, it was difficult to celebrate properly in a city like this. But your daughters, ever the spirited pair, had whispered and giggled all morning, plotting something secret. You knew they wanted to surprise you, but you couldn’t have guessed how far they’d go.

The more mischievous of the two, had decided that a proper birthday gift was non-negotiable. Her twin, more cautious but equally devoted, followed her lead. Together, they hatched a plan: She would swipe something special from a merchant in the Piltover market while her sister kept watch. It was innocent enough in their young minds, a way to show how much they loved their mama. But even at five years old, the twins underestimated the risk.

The plan unraveled quickly. The more excited twin had barely snatched a sparkling trinket from a vendor’s table when the merchant shouted, drawing the attention of none other than Caitlyn Kiramman. The Enforcer’s sharp eyes caught sight of the tiny thief darting between stalls, her twin calmer sister trailing behind, trying to call her back. Caitlyn’s voice rang out, calm yet commanding. “Stop right there!”

But the twins didn’t stop. Fear propelled them forward, their small feet pattering against the cobblestones. Caitlyn sighed, reaching for her rifle, intending only to fire a warning shot to make them halt. The sight of the weapon, however, filled you with cold dread as you turned the corner and saw the scene unfolding. Your maternal instincts overrode all reason, and without hesitation, you threw yourself between Caitlyn and the girls just as her finger accidentally squeezed the trigger.

The shot echoed through the narrow street, sharp and unforgiving. Pain exploded in your side as the bullet tore through flesh, and you stumbled, clutching the wound as blood seeped between your fingers. The twins froze in horror, their eyes wide and filled with tears. Caitlyn lowered her rifle instantly, her face stricken with regret. “Oh my gods… I didn’t mean—”

The chaos only deepened as Ekko and Vi arrived, drawn by the sound of gunfire. Ekko’s eyes went wide as he took in the sight of you on the ground, bleeding, with Caitlyn standing nearby, rifle still in hand. Rage replaced the shock in an instant. “What the hell did you do?” he snarled, rushing to your side.

Vi, confused and alarmed, held up her hands. “Cait, what’s going on? Who are they?”

Caitlyn stammered, clearly shaken. “I didn’t know they were children—she just—she jumped in the way!”

Before Ekko could unleash the full force of his anger, a familiar chaotic energy entered the scene. Jinx appeared out of nowhere, her wild grin softening when she saw the twins huddled together, crying. “Hey, hey, what’s all this fuss about?” she said, kneeling to their level. “Don’t worry, Auntie Jinx is here.”

You managed a weak smile through the pain. “Jinx… take them. Please.”

Ekko didn’t even need to look to know you trusted her implicitly. Jinx gently scooped up the twins, her tone uncharacteristically soothing. “Come on, munchkins. Let’s go somewhere fun, yeah? Don’t worry about your mama. She’s tougher than she looks.”

The twins clung to her, still sniffling, but they didn’t protest. With one last glance at you, Jinx disappeared as swiftly as she had arrived, the twins safe in her care.

Ekko turned his attention back to Caitlyn and Vi, his protective instincts blazing. “You pointed a gun at my daughters?” he hissed, his voice dangerously low.

Caitlyn stepped forward, guilt etched into every line of her face. “I didn’t know they were yours, Ekko. They were running, and I—”

“That’s no excuse,” Ekko snapped, cutting her off. “They’re kids. My kids. You don’t aim a gun at children, ever.”

Vi, still piecing everything together, held up her hands. “Wait, wait. You’re married? And you have kids?”

“Uh. Yeah, Vi,” Ekko shot back, his tone sharp. “Surprise. Maybe if you and your Enforcer girlfriend weren’t so trigger-happy, you’d probably know that by now.”

“Ekko,” you murmured weakly, placing a hand on his arm. “It was an accident. Please let it go.”

He knelt beside you, his anger softening as he saw the pain in your eyes. “Let it go? She shot you.”

“It was my choice,” you said, your voice firm despite the pain. “I saw the gun, and I jumped. She didn’t mean to.”

Caitlyn crouched down, meeting your gaze with a sincerity that was hard to ignore. “I swear to you, I would never intentionally harm anyone, especially not a child. I’m so sorry.”

Ekko didn’t respond immediately, his jaw tight as he tried to rein in his emotions. Vi stepped closer, her expression more serious now. “Look, I get why you’re pissed. If someone hurt my family, I’d lose it too. But Caitlyn made a mistake. Let us help. We’ll get her patched up.”

You reached for Ekko’s hand, squeezing it gently. “Please, my love.”

He let out a long breath, the tension in his shoulders easing slightly. “Fine. But we’re not done talking about this.”

Vi nodded, offering her hand to help you up. “Fair enough. Let’s get you somewhere safe first.”

Later, back at the Firelight hideout, Ekko hovered over you as you rested on your shared bed, the wound bandaged but still tender. The twins were with Jinx in another part of the hideout, their giggles faintly audible through the walls.

Vi and Caitlyn stood nearby, both uncharacteristically quiet. Ekko finally broke the silence, his voice low but firm. “You’re lucky she’s okay. If she wasn’t…”

“I know,” Caitlyn said softly, her usual confidence replaced by remorse. “I’ll do whatever it takes to make this right.”

Vi crossed her arms, glancing at you. “For what it’s worth, you’ve got guts. Jumping in like that? Not many people would do that.”

You managed a small smile. “Not many people have kids like mine.”

Ekko sat beside you, his hand resting over yours. “They’re lucky to have you as their mom.”

Despite the lingering tension, the room felt a little lighter. Jinx’s voice suddenly called out from the other room. “Hey! The mischievous one is trying to climb the wall again! Who taught these kids to be such little daredevils?”

Ekko sighed, a faint smile tugging at his lips. “I wonder where they get it from.”

You laughed softly, wincing as the movement tugged at your side. “Maybe their dad?”

taglist. @diffusebread @xxblairslairxx @annybah @niredsw @stqrlxght @kriss-w @marilovz @blkmystery @multiverse-fandoms-2001 @turquoizxe @mishellii @kor-0suu @feelya @theamazingmilli @multim00n @m00nd0v3 @sodavrr @maialublmere @radtragedyarcade @spiderhook @night-fall-moon @ekkosh @hoonobono @bandletale @thesecondhandwoman @alientee @duchessmoooon @lilbunny1sworld @lil-kpopstan @mbekgsv @lulumallow @ametheslime @sunshiines-stuff @lolana101 @jadeash434 @hobieeeloverrr @misonesaturou @serene6728 @hellokittyfeenie

banner. @anitalenia art. not mine

[z4rph1m]

Platonic Yan!Batfam X dazai! GNreader X Yandere DC

Forgotten child

Pro. Ch.1 (you are here) Ch.2

No longer human….

The name of your ability to nullify any type of meta power or other ability within your radius.

Something that your mother made you aware of before she went along with the clouds.

Mori did once told you that she also had an ability, the Setting Sun

An ability that allow the user to give out the sense of despair and hopelessness to their target….

Upon hearing about it you started to wonder if your mother once use it against you

Months had gone by yet the manor felt emptier than ever.

A lingering presence of a child who was life greatest failure or was it life that failed the child?

The presence wasn’t a blissful innocence and joy but instead a lingering sense of sadness and self-destruction of the child.

The place where the presence is almost as if the child is there has to be their bedroom.

A place where the child find solace and comfort,

A place where Alfred mostly goes to whenever he has the chance.

As much as he wants to denies it

Your path of darkness had already started the moment you were born.

Born not out of love but instead a result of a stringless and loveless action during intimacy.

Alfred knew that there was no hope in saving you from the dark pit of despair and sadness but maybe, just maybe if you were surrounded by care and love instead of indifference and neglect, you would’ve turn out differently.

Alfred raised you with all the care and love he could give yet it still doesn’t stop you from being self-destructive and suicidal.

He knows about your struggles with fitting in with your peers.

Your struggles to overcome your self-destructive tendencies.

Especially with how often he helped with bandaging yourself again and again.

He secretly keep pictures of you throughout the years you’ve stayed in the mansion.

Especially when he took you to a fun fair, away from Gotham.

But that still doesn’t give you the light of hope.

He prayed that one day you’re surrounded by the love that you needed and want.

But he hopes you won’t hate him for what he’s about to do

Bruce know whenever his children comes in and out of the manor, yet he couldn’t help but felt as if someone is missing.

He thought that one of them is probably playing some type of prank on him until Alfred came knocking on the door before entering.

“Master Bruce? I’ve come with your tea prepared and old news to bring”

“Old news? Then do tell” putting down all of his paperwork’s, tapping the pen down on the table

“You’re second child had move out a few months back, it’s a sudden but they didn’t bring anything with them.”

Bruce stare at Alfred in confusion. Jason move out, since when did he move in in the first place?

Alfred gave Bruce a knowing look, as if he can read his mind before opening his mouth to speak.

“It is not master Jason, he is your third child. I suggest to take another guess”

Bruce kept a confused look and thinking on who exactly move out from the manor.

It’s definitely not Dick or Jason, nor is it Tim since he’s currently in his room, or is Damian who’s too young to even move out.

Or coul- no, it couldn’t be….

The bitter truth struck to him like a pile of sadness and despair came hugging his very body.

His first biological child.

The one who join after Dick.

His precious child.

[N] Wayne

Does he even remember how you look like? Actually scratch that, did he even have time or actually look at you throughout your life in the manor?

To add the salt to the wound, Alfred once again speak up.

“I had inform you of their departure but you were quick to dismissed it. I decided that it be best for you to be inform of it the second time”

A sense of dread continue to hug Bruce’s body like a blanket, as if a sadness and the guilt of a child had been passed on to another.

Did he ever had a proper conversation to you, or even attend any events at school with you?

God he hopes not.

He doesn’t even remember how your voice sounds like or even what’s you’re likings to simple things like food or even hobby.

“Alfred, how old are they now exactly?”

It’s embarrassing for a parent to even ask that simple question about their child.

“They’ve just turn 22 a month ago, from what I know, they’re currently living in a apartment”

God how many birthdays did he missed.

He didn’t even gave you a simple card and a cake, actually have you ever even had a birthday cake?

Or even any celebrations?

“Alfred, if you may, lead me to their room”

He wants to know what type of person you are, or at least an idea of it.

What a pitiful excuse of a father isn’t it?

You blankly stare at the dead bodies of the people who tried to kidnap you to threaten the port mafia boss.

Having no emotions In your eyes, bandages being redder and dirtier than ever, and 4 subordinates behind you.

“Bring their body to the slaughterhouse, at least their body would be useful in the market”

They were quick to obey to your command, like little rabbits afraid to get killed by the wolf.

The blood on the floors were left alone, and the deafening silence was your company.

Keyword : Was.

You’re not stupid to not know you’re being watch.

By Bruce’s other child no less, the one who was presumed dead by the members.

“You can come out now Jason. Or should I call you by your vigilante name, Red Hood?”

You watch as he slowly show himself to you, putting his gun down, hands holding nothing.

You just blankly stare at him before putting on a small smirk.

“Try to put me in jail? Or did you change your mind when you saw it was me?”

You change your expression to a blank one, the one that shows the darkness in your eyes and the feeling of the grim reaper surrounding you.

In Jason eyes, there’s something wrong with your silhouette.

Is it the way you’re staring at him? Or the feeling of despair, death and sorrows that clings to you.

It was as if you’re not even a human being.

You turn back and walk away from him, having enough of one of the famous vigilante of Gotham.

“You can take the leftover bullets if you want, must be frustrating to use the rubber ones”

Inspired by @-acid-ixx again & again series and @-marcyvamp1re-blog silly little bat

[hoeforalbedo]

Dolly (Pt 2)

Human Alastor x Housewife!Reader

Pt 1, Finale

Tw: Murder, Forced Cannibalism, reader is described as a woman, dumbifying reader, mention of pregnancy, pregnancy.

Note: I guess I’m making this a series? I really want them to meet in hell. Also I really haven’t made it obvious bc I don’t want to erase Alastor being aroace. The way I see it, he’s kinda just toying with reader and grew obsessed once reader became a murderer.

———————————————————————

The morning after your delightful meal, you found yourself puking your guts out. The food did not agree with you at all. You wonder how Alastor’s body did not reject your food. Maybe it was all guilty’s conscience, but you’re not guilty for what you did.

Alastor holds your hair back, rubbing small circles on your back. “Oh my, what a way to start the morning. It makes me wonder if you’re perhaps pregnant.”

You shoot him a look, “Please do not say that, I beg of you.” No, you’re not pregnant, and Alastor knows you’re not pregnant. But if you are. . . That means you’re all to himself. You will have no choice but to depend on him even more. Even if you decided one day to leave him, you can’t. Nobody other man wants a tainted woman with children. Maybe one day he should get you pregnant.

Oh he absolutely knows that his dear wife has committed something awful and he’s proud of you, although he won’t admit it, yet. For now, he’s here to support you through the aftermath of your actions.

He could even recall his first kill, it was messy and uncoordinated, and the gore did not sit right with his stomach. But he hopes that his wife does not meddle in the business no longer. All you must do is sit pretty and be the doll you are. The sweet wife who cleans the house and cooks for him and cares for him dearly while being oblivious to the fact that your husband is out and about, killing many people.

But he’s curious. You might be just like him and the thought of that makes him want to grasp you in his hands tightly. To keep you all to himself and keep you away from anything that could take you away from him. At the same time, he wants to test you, push you further into insanity until there’s no more turning back and you’re addicted to the feeling of blood on your hands.

You’ve made a decision, you’re going to confess to Alastor. You can’t just keep him the dark about what you’ve done. “Alastor dear, so about Linda. . . I’ve. . .”

“No need to say more, ma cheri. I know.” He says, acting sympathetic towards you. He pulls you into a hug and you can’t help but burst into tears. He pats

“My dear, you’ve had such a bad morning so I believe you should go out and treat your pretty self with something,” He hums, combing your hair back.

“But-“

“I insist dear. Allow me to tend to the home and when you get back, you’ll be treated to a nice meal. How does that sound?”

Your lips pursed in thought. “Fine, but only because you insist.”

The phone rings.

“I’ll take that, mon cheri. Now I’ll allow you to get yourself all pretty and I’ll get you some money for you to spend.” He kisses your head and leaves you be.

———————————————————————

An outing is just what you needed, although it was not to relieve your nerves. You only felt guilt for having stained your hands with red. That matters not, anymore. Alastor says to relax and enjoy your outing and that is what you’d do.

Now that you’re out, Alastor prepares to go out. He puts his gloves, “I should prepare a freshly cooked meal for my dear wife. It’s about time I went hunting.” He hums to himself and leaves the house.

———————————————————————

The sound of chopping is heard through the kitchen. Chopped vegetables are put aside and Alastor is seen kneading a sort of meat. After he’s satisfied, he chops the meat and sets it aside.

“Let us see,” He says, squatting down to the body by the kitchen island. He reaches inside the abdomen, a squelch being heard as his hands move deeper. “Ah, there it is!” He says cheerfully as he cuts out the intestines.

After squeezing the contents out of the intestines, he looks up at the clock. “Oh dear me! It’s about time my dear Y/N comes home!”

It’s already 5 and he expects you to be home in about an hour.

He continues to grind away the other organs and meat before stuffing the intestines, making the sausages for the jambalaya.

After an hour has passed, you are back home. As you were about to reach for the handle, the door opened, revealing Alastor. “Welcome home ma cheri!” He greets you with a smile, pulling you in for a hug. You reciprocate and kisses his cheek. “What have you got there?” He asks, motioning to the bags.”

“Oh I’ve only bought a few dresses. Nothing out of the ordinary,” You shrug, putting the bags down.

“Then I should expect a show from you then, is that correct? Give me a little twirl in each dress?” His voice deepens as he tilts your head up to look at him.

“If that’s what my dear husband wants,” You say, almost as if you’re purring.

Alastor hums in approval and pulls your lips into a kiss. His arm around your waist, pulls you in, pressing your body against his. “Oh my pretty doll, you’ve got me all distracted.”

“And it is my fault?” She chuckles.

“Yes dear, it’s your fault for being so gorgeous, however I cannot complain about that. Come now, I’ve made jambalaya. Let us eat before it gets cold.”

You follow him immediately to the dining room. “How I love jambalaya. I’m grateful you’ve introduced me to one of your favorites.” You smile as you sat down. “You didn’t put shrimp?” You ask.

“I’ve decided to add some meat instead,” Alastor says, placing some food on your plate.

“Well anything you cook is delicious. I’ll enjoy every bite!” You beam.

The two of you continue to eat and chat. While doing the dishes, the door bell rings. “I wonder who that might be?” You say confused, not expecting any visitors.

Alastor goes to the front door and opens it with a smile. “Hello, how can I help you fine gentlemen?”

“We’re with the police, I’d just like to ask about your neighbors.” One of the officers say.

“Well of course!” Alastor remains to smile, however he is irritated, not that anyone notices.

“Who is it Alastor, dear?” You say, walking behind him. “Oh! Well hello officer!” You immediately put a bright smile. Alastor wraps an arm around your waist.

“Yes, you must be this fine gentleman’s wife. We’d just like to ask if you folks know anything about Mrs. Linda and perhaps Mr. Connor?” The officer asks.

“Connor? Well what could have possibly gone wrong?” Alastor says in confusion.

“Well officer, last night we got a call from dear Connor and just earlier before that, I believe during the afternoon, Linda paid me a small visit,” You answer.

“Is that so? Well ma’am, did she enter the home?”

“Yes she did. Just for a couple minutes though.”

“Anything in particular happened? Arguments, anything?” The officer pushes on.

“Oh of course not! Linda and I may only be acquaintances but I do not harbor such ill feelings for her.”

Alastor squeezes your waist, “You see, my dear wife is far too good for her own good. Far too oblivious to the world, but who can blame her. She’s a doll after all.”

You smile at the officers, looking very innocent.

“Why, I see why you married such a beautiful lady,” The officers chuckles. “Well did she say anything before she left?

“No sir. . . Well she did complain about how she suspects her husband of have a mistress,” You answer.

Alastor adds, “The couple do tend to have a tendency for infidelity. There’s neighborhood rumors of one of the kids not even being Connors’! It’s no surprise though. They say Linda sleeps with other men.”

You gasp, “You mean that man she was with that one day-!”

“Oh no need to worry your pretty little head about it. That is not our problem,” Alastor says.

“And the call you received from Mr. Connor?” The officer asks.

“Oh he just called to thank my dear wife for her generosity. She was kind enough to bake the family a pie. She’s a rather good cook,” Alastor answers with a smile.

“Well you see, both of the couples are missing and have left their kids unattended.”

“Oh that’s awful! Are they okay?” You ask with worry.

“They sure are. If you happen to hear anything about them, please do give a call, thanks for your time,” The officer nods and leaves.

After Alastor closes the door, you immediately broke into a sob. “They’re out to get me Alastor! They’ll get me!” You cling to him.

“My dear you won’t, I promise you they won’t. I’d do anything,” Alastor says in a hushed voice.

“I-I’m the last to have seen Linda and Connor! Now Connor is gone too! What if they think I am the one who killed him!” You cry hysterically.

“My dear, have you not seen yourself? No one would believe that a small thing like you could have possibly killed someone,” he reasons.

“Are you sure?”

“Of course dear.”

———————————————————————

“Must you really go, Alastor?” You plead, grabbing his hand.

“I’m afraid I cannot skip out on work today, mon cheri. But what if they get me? What if I can’t see you again?” You say with worry.

Alastor chuckles. Your clinginess used to be something that annoyed him but not finds adorable. “Remember what I said last night?”

You nod.

“So you’ll let me go right?”

You nod and let go of his hand.

“Good. Now I’ll be back later, my dear.” He kisses your forehead and walks out the door.

He in fact did not come home that night. He was found dead, a bullet to his head. You never landed on the suspect list, as Alastor was found to be the serial killer of New Orleans.

[giuliettagaltieri]

Cup of Warm Tea

Pairing: Husband!Gojō x Wife!Reader

Chapter Synopsis: Gojō Satoru is a manchild.

Warning: arranged marriage, implied jujutsu society stigma

Word Count: 924

5 of 9

Gojō Satoru never woke up with anybody next to him in all his life.  Even in his escapades at his age of curiosity, he never stayed long.  He was never fond of bedding anybody too often in the first place.  The guilt ate him up despite him never agreeing to your betrothal.

Yet now, he wakes up to you every single morning.

Your back always turned to him, never crossing the boundaries set between you.  Your hair against your pristine white pillows.  The soft rise and fall of your shoulders.  Even whimpering from time to time, making him cover your goosebump covered arm with the warm blanket.

The first time he woke up to such a sight, he did not know what to do, so he stared at your form until you woke up.  He was fascinated in watching you go about your morning, until you wake him up with tea and fresh clothing for the day.

His morning continues with him listening to your plans for the day as you head to the dining area where you will share your breakfast.

And you will kiss his cheek goodbye as he heads out for work.

The same routine goes on for weeks.

Day by day, he notices how your appearance changes too.

More and more, your clothing starts to have more of the fabric that is blue in color.

And the layers kept adding up.

He was wrapping the bandage over his eyes one morning as he observed how you put your hair up with pins embedded with sapphires and paraiba tourmaline.

“I’m surprised that you can still move, dragging an entire fabric store.”

You give him a small smile.

“It is customary.”  You replied.

He chooses not to say anything after that.  But not even an hour after he left for work, you received a gift from your husband.  It was a wooden fan.

You never go without it from then on.

The women in the Gojō estate made it their mission to hone you to perfection.  Not that they had more to teach you.  You were already well taught.

You spend your day reading.  Or embroidering, to make the elders happy.

The estate house was big.  Much ground for you to explore.  Your new and old handmaidens gladly accompany you in your walks. 

In one of your afternoon teas, you are surprised to see a familiar mop of unruly hair.

It was one of the children your husband had adopted in his youth.

“Megumi.”  You call sweetly.  The young teen boy stops in his tracks, his muttering coming to a halt and his deep frown clearing away to make way for confusion.

“Gojō-san.”  He says unsurely.

Your smile widens as you beckon him close.  “‘Y/N-san’ is still fine.  What brings you here?”

He looks at the small parcel in his hand.  “Uhm…running errands for Gojō-sensei.”

You pat the seat next to you.  “Do you mind if I take up a bit of your time today?”

He shakes his head and sits next to you, his hand sneakily slips the parcel in his pockets.

“Tea and cookies?”  You pour him a cup anyway.

“Thanks.”  He says curtly and sips on his cup.  “Congratulations on your marriage.”

You smile brightly at him.  No matter how big he got, you still see him as the same little boy that Gojō took in.

It was not often that you saw the boy and his older sister, but given that you were the fiancée of the man who took care of them, you kind of bribed them with treats to get them to like you.  You were only a teenager then, you did not know any better.

Megumi, ever so perceptive that he was, saw through your tricks but appreciated your efforts nonetheless, knowing that you meant well.  Also, because you got him out of trouble when he needed a guardian to see the guidance counselor.

Gojō would have picked a fight with the school staff, you were the safer option.

“Enjoying school?”  You ask as you spread marmalade on a piece of pastry and add it on a stack on his plate.

He shrugs. “I guess so.  Met a bunch of weirdos but otherwise okay.”

“Is Gojō-sensei behaving himself?  He’s not giving you much trouble?”

Megumi does not know how to answer that.  He thinks you got the question the other way around.

He quietly sips on his tea and puts the cup on the saucer with a soft clink.

You wait for his response patiently.

“Are you certain he did not threaten you so you’d marry him, Y/N-san?  You are too good for that man.  I swear I’d try to talk to the council to-”

An arm finds itself on Megumi’s shoulder.

“What sort of nonsense are you spouting to my wife, Megumi.”  Gojō clicks his tongue in feigned disappointment.

Megumi leans on his chair and sips on his tea like nothing happened.  “Thank you for the tea, Y/N-san.”  He fishes the parcel from his pocket and slams it to Gojō’s chest.  “That thing you requested.”  He says through gritted teeth.

Gojō smiles childishly at him.  “Thanks, Megumi.  I know I can count on you.”  He slips it to his own pocket and Megumi says his farewell.

Knowing that it is not your business to ask, you turn to your own cup of tea.

Your husband sits on the chair that Megumi vacated, only he drags the chair closer to you until your elbows bumped and then proceeds to gobble up the pastry that you prepared for Megumi.  You hid the slight annoyance you felt and instead just poured him tea into a new cup.

Gojō chokes on a scone and he slams a fist to his chest as you slap at his back but a second later, he was shoving a Danish puff on his mouth.

You shake your head at him, smiling at his display of behavior.  Despite knowing the man all your life, he never ceases to appall…er, astound you.

“So, we had this new kid in Jujutsu High.”  He says in between chews and you nod at him to continue, wiping at the marmalade that smeared on his lips.

Your entire afternoon was spent listening to Gojō’s rambles and gossip in the jujutsu society and you would not spend your time any other way.

Where the Blue Roses Grow

[melzula]

Someone Else

pairings: Zuko x Princess!reader, Zuko x Mai

notes: i was writing smoke and shadow when i realized i should probably give more insight to zuko and mai’s relationship in the fire lilies universe before i delved into the story. also someone requested i cover their conversation on boiling rock so here it is :)

summary: Zuko is forced to confront his past

~ part of the fire lilies series ~

As Zuko struggled against the hold of the calloused prison guards who were dragging him away to whatever punishment awaited him, he couldn’t help but think of y/n.

He remembered the way she’d struggled against the crystals that held her and his uncle captive in the catacombs and how she’d urged him to go on without her to help the Avatar. Her eyes had sparkled beautifully in the light, and it had been the last time she had looked upon him with love and care. Now when she looked at him, her eyes were cold and void of any love for him. They looked upon him with anger and resentment, and he knew he deserved it. He deserved every last bit of her animosity.

Growing closer to the open cell, Zuko began to contemplate the possibility of Sokka’s plan failing. He feared he may never get to see y/n again and make things right, apologize to her for the hurt and anguish he’d caused, and she’d spend the rest of her life hating him for what he’d done. The chance of never returning to his Princess seemed a far worse fate than anything the warden had planned for him on Boiling Rock.

The guards finally toss the Prince into the cell, his body colliding harshly with the floor.

“I didn’t do anything wrong!” Zuko protests with a groan before pulling himself up onto the sole chair in the room.

“Come on, Zuko,” a voice chides harshly, its owner carefully emerging from the shadows, “we all know that’s a lie.”

“Mai?” Zuko utters in surprise, his stomach immediately twisting itself into knots. Guilt creeps in his gut at the sight of her, and he dreads the conversation he knows is coming. He’d hoped he’d never have to face her again, but it seemed fate had other plans.

“How did you know I was here?”

“Because I know you so well,” she replies sarcastically, her cold glare never leaving his slumped figure on the chair.

“But how-“

“The warden’s my uncle, you idiot,” Mai chides. Her features soften for a moment as she reaches into her robes, the heartbreak and betrayal overpowering her anger for a moment. However, her wrath returns as she presents Zuko with his own letter. “The truth is, I guess I don’t know you.”

Zuko is silent, his eyes guiltily scanning over the scroll. Perhaps it had been wrong of him to end their relationship in such a way, but she probably wouldn’t have let him live to see another day if he’d looked her in the face and told her there was someone else. How can you look the girl you’ve known since you were children in the eyes and tell her you’d only used her to get over your previous girlfriend?

“All I get is a letter?” She scoffs indignantly. “You couldn’t even look me in the eyes to tell me you were leaving me for someone else?! You couldn’t even leave me my dignity and rip my heart out in person?”

“I didn’t mean to-“ Zuko begins to say, but this only seems to anger her further.

“You didn’t mean to?!” Mai retorts before unfurling the scroll to read the letter aloud. “‘Dear Mai, I’m sorry that you have to find out this way, but I’m leaving.’”

“Stop!” He interjects, subtle irritation clear in his tone and his features. “This isn’t about you.”

“Right,” Mai drawls dully. “It was never about me. It was always about her.”

“Mai-“

“You told me she never meant anything to you, but that was a lie, wasn’t it?” She insists, and Zuko’s silence only infuriates her more. “Wasn’t it?”

“…It was,” he relents quietly, his guilty eyes finally meeting her stern gaze. “But this isn’t about her or you. This is about the Fire Nation.”

“Thanks Zuko, that makes feel all better,” Mai replies dryly before harshly tossing the scroll at his head.

Rubbing the spot where the paper had made contact, the Prince rises from his seat and looks at his ex with an empathetic gaze. “I never wanted to hurt you.”

“Then why did you do it? Were you just dating me to get over her? Was any of it real, or did you just pretend I was her while we were together to make yourself feel better?”

“You have to understand I didn’t mean for things to turn out this way,” Zuko pleads earnestly, guilt clear upon his face. “It was never my intention to break your heart. I thought being with you would help me feel at home again, and in a way it did. You were familiar, someone I cared about. I thought maybe with time…”

“Did you ever even love me?!” She cries angrily. The truth was ugly, and the tightness in her chest was suffocating. How was she supposed to react to the news that she’d been used by the boy she’d been in love with since she was a young girl? She thought she’d finally won his heart only to learn none of it had been real.

Zuko remains silent, and that’s enough of an answer for her.

“You know, you two deserve each other,” she spits harshly, her words like venom. “A selfish Prince and a selfish Princess. I guess I know what you see in her now.”

“Don’t speak about her that way,” Zuko snaps. Mai laughs bitterly in return.

“I hope she’s not stupid enough to take you back. I hope she breaks your heart the way you broke mine,” she utters quietly. “You deserve it.”

“It’s not like that,” he argues, “I didn’t leave just for her. I have to do this to save my country.”

“Save it?” She repeats incredulously. “You’re betraying your country. Joining the Avatar and going after the South’s water bending Princess? You’re a traitor.”

“That’s not how I see it,” Zuko rebuts firmly. A tense silence fills the room as Mai indignantly crosses her arms over her chest and turns her body away from him. “And I hope you’ll see it that way too.”

“I won’t let you fool me again,” she replies coldly. Though her exterior is hard and angry, her heart is crumbling inside. Mai desperately wanted to know why she hadn’t been enough for Zuko. Why couldn’t he love her the way he’d loved the Princess? What did y/n have that she didn’t? Why her? Why not me?

Their conversation is cut short by the prison guard sent to protect Mai from the ongoing riot, and Zuko uses the opportunity to escape the cell and lock it from the outside. Though he’s free from captivity, he finds himself frozen in place by the girl’s gaze. Her eyes are full of wrath, but they shine with tears that refuse to fall. Locking into her intense stare, the guilt begins to creep up on him again. He’ll never be able to undo the hurt he’s caused her, but he hopes that maybe one day she’ll be able to forgive him.

Breaking away from her gaze, Zuko rushes towards the courtyard to join Sokka and Suki in their escape plan. Mai’s heartbroken eyes still haunt him, but the image is soon replaced with that of y/n’s. Unlike Mai, her eyes had been full of sadness when she’d been met with his betrayal in Ba Sing Se. She hadn’t been angry, she’d been disappointed, and that had felt worse.

His legs urged him to run faster now, his motivation to return home to his Princess stronger than ever.

Zuko was going to make things right, he had to. And he hoped she’d give him the chance.

~~~~~

| atla tags: @sirkekselord @chronic-daydreamer @niktwazny303

| zuko tags: @thebluelcdy @royahllty @the-firebender-girl @ilovespideyyy @yiyibetch @eridanuswave @lammello @a-monsters-love @knaite-solo @taeeemin

| fire lilies tags: @titaniafire @emberislandplayers @kikaninchen-2 @music-geek19 @thia-aep @thyunnamed @haylaansmi @nataliahaslosthershit @idkdude776 @aangsupremacy @thirstyforsometea @ihaveaproblem98 @brown-eyed-thang @xapham @misnmatchedsox @chewymoustachio @that-bucket-hat-gal @chilifrylizard2 @kyomihann @kaylove12 @kiwihoee @freggietale @moon-spirit-yue @bubblegum-bee-otch

[naughtyneganjdm]

Love's Second Chance: A Holiday Reunion - Chapter 21

Summary: Having Christmas morning alone with Negan, Y/N tries to get a feel for how he feels about things with a strong amount of guilt eating away at her for saying no to his proposal. During their Christmas get together, Joel gets angry when people seem excited at the potential idea of Y/N being married to Negan.

Characters: Joel Miller, the reader (OC), Negan Smith, Tommy, Maria, Peter, Elizabeth, Siddiq, Rosita, etc.

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/60501985/chapters/159023956 Warnings: Swearing, Severe Angst, etc.

Notes: This is the second to last chapter. This is a long chapter with a lot of angst (I guess that's typical by now) -- thanks for taking the time to read this story! I appreciate anyone who did.

Today didn’t feel like Christmas. The time spent in New York with her family and Negan felt more like Christmas than today did. For some reason, there was a sense of negativity and sadness that lingered in Y/N’s heart. Things still felt off. Even after last night, something weighed heavy on her. It felt like the right thing to do with Negan and Joel having that talk, but she still felt guilty. Guilty about denying that job with Negan and telling him no to marriage. And then there was the house that he offered to get them if they stayed in this town. There were so many topics that she had to approach and she had no idea how to handle any of them. Including having Joel insist on having her marry him and not Negan.

Both Negan and Joel seemed to want this relationship for the three of them. Being together was not something they had a problem with. They showed that by the few times they had sex together. And? Yet? They both wanted to be married to her during this whole thing. And neither one of them seemed okay with the idea of not being married to her. Which truthfully? Made it so complicated and it stressed her out. More than she cared to admit.

Earlier Joel had woken up and left to go spend the morning with the children and Tommy. He assumed that the children, specifically Elizabeth would be worried about him if he didn’t. And really? He didn’t make a big deal of it. Negan was still sleeping, so he just kissed her goodbye and left. There seemed to be no tension, but things still felt…off? Maybe she was overthinking things, but she didn’t know.

“You’ve been quiet,” Negan commented causing Y/N to jump as his hands slid in over her hips from behind. Nuzzling his nose in against the side of her neck, he placed a loving kiss there and then wrapped her up in his arms. Squeezing her firmly, she leaned back into him accepting the hug that he was giving her. For hours the two of them had decided to bake and cook together. It was something she usually loved that took her mind off things and kept her busy, but today? It wasn’t working as well. Too many thoughts were running through her mind and there was an undeniable ache that was focused at the center of her chest. “I’m not used to it.”

“I’m sorry,” she apologized, dropping her hands to hook her fingers with his. Giving them a firm squeeze, she didn’t know what to say to make up for the way she was acting right now. “For some reason, my mind is just very busy.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” Negan offered, peppering faint kisses at the side of her neck. It had her eyes coming to a tight close with a long sigh escaping her throat. It felt nice being like this. So why was she so upset?

“I don’t think today is the day to unload all of that because of what day it is,” she stammered, resting her head back against Negan’s shoulder. Having him cuddling her in his arms felt nice. Being with him was a wonderful feeling. So she didn’t understand why she was feeling the way she was. “I don’t want you worrying about me though.”

“I’m always going to worry about you,” Negan reminded her with a huff, his nose nuzzling in against the side of her face. His short beard scratched at her skin and it made her eyes come to a tight close again. “I love you. That’s what people do.”

Turning in his arms, she placed her hands firmly in over the center of his chest. Looking at Negan, he still seemed exhausted. And things did feel different after she turned down his proposal. It’s not like he was mad at her or angry. She just wondered if she broke his heart. And she didn’t like it. But it wasn’t that she was upset with him. Just before it felt like there was something light in their relationship. They were always happy and Negan brought forth the best feelings inside of her. Now? She didn’t know if she hurt their relationship to the point of making him miserable.

Palming up his chest, over the side of his neck and to his face had a faint smile tugging at his handsome features. As the warmth of her hand caressed at the side of his face, it had his long eyelashes fluttering to a close. Tipping up on her toes, she hovered her lips in over his hearing the faint exhale that escaped him at the imminent thought that she would kiss him. Rewarding him with the loving caress of her lips over his had his hands cupping her face in them loosely.

“I love you,” she whispered when they parted, leaving just enough room for her eyes to hook with his. Sweeping her thumb over his chiseled jawline had him smiling and giving her a firm nod. “So much. You know that, right?”

“Of course,” Negan assured her with a weak smile, but she couldn’t tell if it was honest or not. No one was better than Negan at plastering a smile over their face to pretend they were okay. “I love you too, very much.”

There was still pain in his hazel eyes and it hurt her so much to see it, but she tipped up on her toes to press another loving kiss over his lips. There was a silence between them when Negan lowered his head to nuzzle his nose in against the side of her face. Stroking her fingers at the back of his neck, her fingers sank into his hair causing him to sigh loudly.

“Y’know, I thought you’d be having your camera out today,” Negan tipped back attempting to change the subject. “You should be documenting today for yourself and the children.”

“Maybe I’ll do that when people start arriving,” she thought aloud tipping her head from side to side. What was strange is that today should have felt better. She was getting to spend the holidays with her whole family, including Joel and Tommy. Now having Negan here was a good thing. The previous holidays were hard because Joel was dating Tess at the time which meant that she was rarely included. But now they were all together for the holidays. It should have been something more positive. “Negan, I’m sorry.”

“For what?” Negan frowned, his expressive eyebrows furrowing. Maybe this was the wrong way to go about things, but she felt like she needed to apologize. Right now with the house smelling amazing from their baking and cooking, maybe they should have been focusing on that instead, but her mind was weighing heavy. With all the desserts and dinner that they had been working on, her stomach was rumbling, yet, she wasn’t hungry. “You’ve done nothing wrong. Other than get some egg on me earlier with the cookies.”

“For not being in the Christmas spirit I guess,” she came up with the first thing she could think of, but in reality she was really thinking about how she turned him down at that skating rink. Swallowing down hard, Negan simply shrugged his shoulders like he didn’t care. Christmas had always been her favorite holiday, but there was that depression that had set in. So much had been going on and it overwhelmed her to the point of her feeling bad. “I know you wanted today to be very different. Romantic…”

“I’ve enjoyed my morning with you,” Negan hushed her, placing his finger delicately over her lips to silence her. “Don’t apologize for something like that. Sometimes we all feel a little down and we can’t exactly help it.”

“You shouldn’t continue to be this nice to me Negan,” she insisted with a saddened breath. Truthfully? She never really felt like they got to that point of talking about what happened. “Your proposal was beautiful and I ran off on you.”

“It’s fine,” Negan shrugged it off, forcing himself to look away from her. That was a lie and she knew it. Grasping his chin between her thumb and index finger, she forced Negan to look at her. “What do you want me to say Y/N?”

“Be honest with me,” she responded, urging him to open up to her.

“Fuck, I don’t know what to say,” Negan reached up to pull her hand away from his face, grasping her hand firmly in his. “You just weren’t ready and it’s not what you wanted. I’m not going to be mad at you for it. You want something else and I’m going to find out what that is first. Everything else? We’ll figure out those details.”

“I still don’t think you’re being honest with me,” she stressed to him, shaking her head at his answer. “And that’s not the relationship that I’ve had with you. I think I broke your heart.”

“Does it make you feel better if I say yes?” he wondered, his hazel eyes narrowing with his Adam’s apple bouncing in his throat.

Considering the question, she felt an ache growing at the center of her chest and she shook her head slowly, “No, not really.”

“Then why would I tell you that? The last thing I want to do is hurt you. So why don’t we just forget about it?” Negan suggested with a slight smile that just seemed like one of those fake ones that Negan had plastered on his face most of the time. Going to move around her toward the kitchen after placing a gentle kiss over her forehead, she stopped him by grabbing a loose hold of his wrist. Something about this was stressing Negan out. “I’m used to it Y/N…”

“Used to what?” she was trying to understand the things that he was feeling right now.

“Losing out to Joel,” Negan turned on his heel, his stare meeting hers again. Shrugging, it looked like he tried to say something more, but nothing else came out. Hearing that from Negan actually hurt more than she thought it would. “I’ve lost out to him my whole life Y/N.”

“That’s not what it was,” she tried to suggest, but Negan tipped his head to the side with his dimples becoming more prominent. Clearly he disagreed.

“Isn’t it?” Negan breathed out, throwing his hands up in the air. “I understand the job. You’re worried about the children? Okay. But refusing to marry me? Did that have anything to do with the children? Or was it because you still love Joel?”

There was a silence that came over them with Negan nodding his head, “See. I’ve been losing out to Joel in your eyes since he moved to this town. All it took was one look at him and you were in love with him. It didn’t matter how much I loved you or what I did, I wasn’t enough when it came to Joel. That night at the skating rink? It meant a whole lot more to me than it did you and I understand that. I just thought…I thought after everything you’d want to marry me. But you don’t. I think if Joel was still with Tess, you might have said yes, but since Joel is single? It’ll never happen. If Joel is an option, I’ll never have you. And I’ll have to learn to live with that. It just hurts. All I want to do is make you happy because I love you so fucking much. So I’m doing my best to hold down that sadness that I’m feeling. Because I don’t want to hurt you. Does what happened the other night hurt? Yes. Yes it does. But I’ll get over it. Just like I did when I was younger.”

Not sure what to say, she dropped her head down and heard Negan sigh loudly, “I was just too late again. Which seems to be my fate.”

“Negan,” she began, an undeniable lump growing in her throat. There was one thing that ate away at her this whole time. And she really believed it. She didn’t think she was good enough for Negan. She told Joel that she deserved better last night, but the more she thought about it? She really didn’t think she did. “I’m not good enough for you. You are everything women dream of having…”

“Listen, as upset as I am,” Negan placed his hand in over the center of his chest, “it doesn’t mean you are losing me Y/N. You still have me. I’m not going anywhere. I just have to realize that I’m going up against what? Two and a half decades of you being in love with Joel Miller? How does one compare to that?”

“Negan, you’re perfect,” she tried to reason with him, but he stepped forward with a hushing sound. Holding his hand up, he didn’t want her to continue. “I’m just saying…”

“I’m saying you’re wrong. I’m not perfect. I’m nowhere near it. Deep down? Joel Miller is probably a better man than I am. I know that. I fucked up bad for a while,” Negan explained to her, an evident sense of pain in his tone as he spoke. “So maybe he’s the one that deserves your love. And he’s the luckiest man in the world to have you love him as much as he does.”

“I don’t know how to make this better,” she confessed with a saddened exhale, hating that Negan seemed to be as upset as he was. “You have no idea how much I love you.”

“And I’m lucky you do,” Negan breathed out, stepping forward to palm down in over the side of her face. “I think you love me. I just think Joel Miller cemented himself in your heart and I’m not sure he’s ever leaving it.”

A tremoring breath escaped her throat with Negan saying what he did. Offering up a weak smile, he leaned down to give her a faint kiss, “How about we open our Christmas gifts early?”

“Negan,” she thought this was a conversation they really should have continued, but instead she realized that he just wanted to move on. “You don’t want to do that with everyone else here?”

Earlier they had already put all the presents out by the tree when they first had gotten up. Shaking his head, Negan led her toward the Christmas tree where all of the presents circled the bottom of it. Later she knew that Joel would undoubtedly feel bad about things because Negan went a little overboard with pampering Elizabeth and Peter.

Getting her to sit down on the couch, Negan went over toward the back of the Christmas tree where he had a bag leaning up against the wall. Moving in beside her, she noticed that there were multiple presents in there for her, “Negan?”

“Don’t worry, none of them are an engagement ring,” Negan joked, but she didn’t think it was funny considering the topic they were just talking about. Guilt was eating away at her and she knew that he could obviously tell that it was still bothering her. “It was a joke.”

Joke or not, it made her feel bad, “I just felt bad because I only got you one gift.”  

“That’s okay,” he shrugged his shoulders, looking down at the items that were in his hands. “These aren’t that special anyways.”

Over the last few days, Negan had asked her to marry him. He bought a house that he said would be theirs if she wanted it. A house that was their childhood dream house. He got her a contract with a famous baseball team that she turned down and he offered to let her live her dreams that she had growing up. What else could this man possibly give her?

“Here, you can open this one first,” Negan held out the bigger item and she shakily accepted it. Stroking her fingers over it, it wasn’t hard to realize that it was some kind of book underneath the wrapping paper. Starting to open it, she realized that was exactly what it was. A vintage looking photo booklet. Taking the wrapping paper, Negan set it beside them on the floor and turned to her. “With the help of my mother, I made this. It was supposed to go with…” Negan paused wondering if he should say this or not. “It doesn’t matter.”

Opening the front cover, she felt a lump growing in her throat at the young photos of them together. This was meant to be a gift the night he asked her to marry him and she knew that. Flipping through the pages, guilt ate away at her. It had a whole timeline of them together up until Negan was seventeen. And then there was a massive period of time that was missing up until their date at the first party they attended together. Then there were tons of photos of them together from over the last few weeks including the children and Joel. Closing up the booklet, she fought the urge to cry. She didn’t know why, but instead she feigned a smile and leaned across to press a loving kiss in over his cheek.

“And this one is kind of…well, I guess it’s kind of lame,” Negan explained handing it over to her allowing her to open it up. Inside it was a very nice bracelet with a few stones in it. Pointing toward them, Negan cleared his throat and circled it with his finger. “It has your birth stone along with Peter’s and Liz’s. I thought it would be something nice for you to have.”

“That’s actually really nice,” she explained in an uneasy tone realizing this had to have been incredibly expensive. “Are you sure you want me to have this?”

“Of course I do,” Negan assured her, helping her with the bracelet. Putting it on her, Negan hooked it together, fumbling at first but then he gave her a smile. It was then she realized that the bracelet matched the ring that he had when he asked her to marry him. And there was the guilt again. It was a nagging, aching pain in the pit of her stomach. “It looks good on you.”

Setting out two more boxes, Negan put them before her on the coffee table and shrugged his shoulders, “These are kind of pointless. I guess. But I thought you’d like them.”

“How many more gifts do you have?” she wondered, sliding forward on the edge of the couch to reach out for one of them.

“Just these two,” Negan explained with her slowly opening the first one realizing that it was an addition to the Christmas village that she had set up in the nook of her front window. It looked like it was an extensive Christmas castle that had a lot of bells and whistles compared to the ones she usually bought on sale. “I figured since I bought you your first one, I’d add to the village. Give you some more pieces to remind you of me.”

Opening up the next gift, she gazed upon the box to see that it was another piece to add to her Christmas village of characters ice skating that were supposed to move. Everything Negan gave her had some kind of special meaning. He went above and beyond, yet he labeled these gifts as lame or not that special. When, in fact, they were very special.

Setting the boxes on top of the coffee table, she turned on the seat to lean across to hug Negan firmly in her arms. It took a moment for him to wrap her up in his arms to return the gesture. Cuddling her head in next to his, she stroked at the back of his neck and felt her heart pounding inside of her chest. Maybe the feeling right now she was feeling wasn’t guilt, but regret? Or maybe it was a mix of both. Negan was perfect in every way possible. Especially when it came to her. And he was more romantic than Joel was ever capable of being. So thinking back on saying no bothered her. Especially since she had him confirm for her that it broke his heart.

Even though she didn’t want to, she could feel that her eyes were burning. Tears were not something that she should have had right now. Pulling away from Negan, she tried to turn away from him to hide the emotions that were building up, “We’re going to have to add these to the town before tonight. Find a space or move some things around.”

“Hey,” Negan whispered, his finger curling in underneath her chin to get her to look at him. Trying to fight it, she knew that Negan wouldn’t give up on it so she finally looked to him. Sweeping his thumb against her cheek, Negan’s face scrunched up. “What’s wrong?”

“They are just very sweet gifts Negan,” she was honest with him in the sense that she truly believed they were very nice gifts. Turning toward his hand, she placed a faint kiss at his pulse point and lifted her hand to press it in against the back of his. “Now I kind of feel silly about the gift that I got you.”

Trying to avoid the inevitable deeper conversation that would lead to her undoubtedly crying, she got up from the couch and moved over toward the Christmas tree. Pulling out the gift she had gotten for him, she headed back to the couch. It was heavy and she knew that she had to be careful with it. Negan’s eyebrows bounced up with surprise seeing how heavy it was.

“Careful,” she warned, handing it off to him before taking a seat beside him. Setting it on the coffee table, he listened to her directions even in the way that he was unwrapping her gift. Once he finally got it unwrapped, she felt nervous with the way he was eyeing over the gift. It was a shadow box that she had gotten personally made for him. “It’s dedicated to your favorite football team, but I’m sure…obviously you can see that. It lights up when you plug it in. It’s supposed to be a miniature of the original stadium that you went to as a kid. This part is an autograph from your favorite player when we were kids and I guess this was a piece of his jersey.”

Instead of saying anything, he continued to eye over the piece and it made her feel self-conscious about the whole thing, “Now thinking about it, this was probably a really stupid gift to give you. You’re rich so you probably already have his autograph and this is probably a very stupid gift because it’s cheap. Well, it wasn’t cheap for me. But for you I imagine…”

“Hey!” Negan stopped her from continuing on, lowering the shadow box and giving her a big smile. “I love it, so please stop attacking the fuck outta my Christmas gift. Okay?”

“I just…” she noticed the expression he gave her and she huffed. After everything he had done for her, this all felt very poor in terms of a gift to give him. “Okay.”

“This is really cool,” Negan assured her looking it over again. “And it’s very personal as it’s my favorite, and, you remembering my favorite player from when we were kids? I think that’s awesome. It’s better than my gifts.”

“That’s bullshit and you know it. Your gifts always have so much thought in them,” she acknowledged feeling ridiculous that he had done so much for her and this is what she had pulled together for him. “I’m sorry it’s not better.”

“Knock it off,” Negan laughed, setting his gift carefully down on the coffee table before him. Turning to her, he reached for her hands and gave them a small squeeze. “You know how much I love my football. I think the gift is really fucking cool.”

Keeping one of her hands in his, Negan lifted the other and swept his thumb in over the curve of her jawline, “I love you and I’m just happy I get to spend today with you.”

“How are you not mad at me?” she finally let her emotions get the best of her, her eyes lifting to meet his. That whole not crying thing? Yeah, that was getting the better of her with everything going on. “What I did…”

“Please, don’t…” Negan hushed her, sliding forward to pepper kisses over her face when he realized that she was crying. They were soft and tender attempting to calm her. “I don’t want you to feel like this because of me.”

“I just feel guilty,” she declared, hating that she knew how much she genuinely loved Negan and how good he made her feel. “I want everything you offered, I do, but then I know I have all my responsibilities here and…”

“Joel,” Negan finished for her getting a groan from her and he could tell that the idea of Joel upset her. “I understand. We need to make things work for you in a way that makes you comfortable. And I’ve been thinking about everything. I still want you to travel with me during the last season. Even with the offer from the team, I think we could make every two weeks work? I have a friend that might be able to work with me the other two weeks. That way you can be with your family every two weeks like you were originally before I got here.”

“I don’t know,” she felt somewhat on the spot again realizing that he was attempting to make things work for her with the offer to have her work with him. “It’s something to think about. But I’m not sure it’s something I can just say yes or no to immediately.”

“I…I understand that. And?” Negan paused to consider what he was going to say next. “I still want to marry you. I still want us to live together, but I want you to want those things. And if you don’t, then I can accept that and the only thing I want…the only thing I need, is you in my life somehow. Because I love you and I love your family. I want to be around you, but I don’t want you sad. I want you happy.”

“I’m a mess,” she admitted with a frown realizing that even though she tried to settle things last night, they weren’t doing a great job with that. Either of them. Sliding in beside her, he managed to get her to tip her head back to press his lips in over hers. The faint caress was passionate and lingering managing to take her breath away like he always did. “I want you happy Negan and I feel like I won’t be able to make you happy.”

“Honey, just having you in my life again fucking makes me happy,” Negan promised her with a slight grin, nodding his head about. While there was some truth to that, she knew there was more there with him and it was hard. “I just love you and I want you content.”

There was so much she should have said, but instead she leaned forward to rest her head against his. Instinctively, Negan wrapped her up in his arms and held her close. A hug from Negan was what she really needed most right now. He always knew exactly what to do when she needed it and she loved that about him.

Even though he was saying this, she knew that he was avoiding the part where she inevitably broke his heart. The glow that Negan naturally had was gone. His smile was there, but she hurt him. Picking worrying about her over himself felt wrong.

All she had to do was get through today and then she could make her decision. Whatever that decision was supposed to be. Because right now, she had no idea.

They cooked for a while longer before she had Negan start to get ready. All day they were in their sweats together, just relaxing. It wouldn’t be too long before everyone started showing up and she would have to pretend that everything was okay.

Allowing Negan to take a shower first, she suggested that she had other things that she had to take care of before she got ready. Instead she sat on the bed flipping through the photo book that Negan had made for her of them together.

It was hard loving two men. There was no doubting that she loved both Negan and Joel. Joel was a significant part of her life and so was Negan. They both stood for a completely different time in her life. And they were so different, yet she loved them both.

Hearing the sound of the shower behind the open bathroom door, she set aside the photo booklet and pulled her clothes off. Moving into the bathroom, she reached for the shower door and pulled it open. Looking back over his shoulder at her, Negan gave her a charming smile and turned to face her as she joined him.

“I thought you had something to do?” Negan reminded her, reaching out to caress in over her sides when she stepped in under the water with him. By the way she was looking at him, he knew that her mind was still busy with overthinking things. Frowning, he pressed in closer to her and lowered down to deposit a faint kiss against her lips. “Y’know, you don’t have to marry me if you don’t want to. I didn’t think it would make you this upset.”

“No, that’s not completely it Negan,” she hushed him, caressing in over the side of his face. Closing his eyes, Negan leaned into her touch and the expression over his face made her heart race. “It’s hard to explain.”

“Make me understand,” Negan pled, hooking his fingers with hers and turning into her touch to place a kiss over the center of her palm.

“I’m not sure I even understand it,” she reasoned with him, shaking her head at the thoughts swirling around in her mind. “It’s been a long time since I’ve been as happy as I’ve been when I’m with you. I’ve been miserable until you showed back up into my life. Elizabeth and Peter were my only joys in life. When you came around? I started enjoying life again. I just panicked when you asked me to marry you and I responded so poorly. Both the guilt and the regret are flooding through me.”

“Regret about starting a relationship with me?” Negan wondered and she immediately shook her head.

“That I didn’t say yes,” she stated having a hard time looking at Negan. It didn’t last long because Negan was caressing over the side of her face leading her to look up at him. “You’re everything I want.”

“Then what’s the problem?” Negan questioned with a frown having her lean in to rest her head against the center of his chest. Stroking his fingers over her shoulders, Negan allowed her the moment to calm herself.

“Everything else. For so long I’ve put everyone else above my needs. Being with you? I’d finally get everything I dreamt of growing up. You can give me that life,” she thought aloud, tipping her head back slightly to look up at him with worry in her eyes. “But I haven’t been that person for almost twenty years Negan. I never deserved that life and what I’m meant to do is help those that are here.”

“Don’t you think it’s time that you even it out? Be there for those you love, but also allow yourself things that can make you happy?” Negan reasoned with her, knowing that she was being too hard on herself. “I don’t think it’s bad to want good things for yourself.”

Taking a moment to consider things, Negan sighed loudly and bit down on his bottom lip, “I know that he might think it’s weird, but this poly relationship thing? Joel might have a hard time with us being married at first, but I think if we work on it, this whole thing will be fine. Obviously, the three of us can’t all be married, but we can get him a ring, like a promise for the three of us. I don’t care what other people think about it and neither should you or Joel.”

“Have you seen the way people already talk about me on the internet?” she blurt out followed by Negan’s nose wrinkling and he snorted. These were all things that sounded nice, but she did know that Joel was right in the past. A lot of people would judge them for their decisions. “It’s not funny.”

“Have you seen the way the people on the internet talk about me?” Negan shot back, his eyebrows arching up when he shook his head firmly. “The internet is a cesspool of nasty people who thrive on negativity. They are so miserable in their own lives that they want to attack others to lift themselves up. I wouldn’t let anything on the internet bother you.”

“People think I’m using you and in a sense I feel like I am,” she claimed getting an eye roll from Negan. But these were things she let weigh heavy on her after she started thinking about them. “You’ve done so much for me Negan and what have I done for you?”

“If you think you have done nothing for me, you’re insane,” Negan retorted, cupping her face in his hands again. “Look at me,” Negan persuaded her to keep her eyes locked on his. There was a sadness in her features that made a sharp breath fall from his throat. “You mean everything to me. I went from being a man without reason and now, I realize why I’m still here. Why I couldn’t go through with ending things. I felt empty before we found each other again and now I don’t feel so broken.”

“But I broke your heart by not saying yes and I know that’s true,” she pushed the subject having Negan exhale loudly. “Don’t lie. You never lied before so don’t lie now.”

“Of course I’m disappointed. I love you, but in loving you I have to allow you to decide what is good and not good for you,” Negan reasoned out loud and she felt like this was something that he probably said to himself that night. “I love you and in loving you I want what’s best for you. You can’t make me happy by saying yes if it’s going to make you miserable. I don’t want that. I want you happy.”

“That’s the thing Negan, you make me happy,” she reasoned with him, caressing up over his chest and over the side of his neck. “I don’t doubt that with you I’m happy, it’s just I worry about the children and Joel has just been acting so…different.”

“Meaning?” Negan’s eyebrow arched in curiosity with her letting out a long exhale.

“Meaning he swears he doesn’t mind the three of us being together, but he wants me to be married to him and not you. You both don’t mind this poly relationship, but you both want to be married to me,” she informed Negan who scoffed, looking down while shaking his head. “You’re not happy with that?”

“I’m not surprised by that,” Negan replied back with a snort and she let out a tense breath. One thing she wanted to be was honest with Negan. Since that’s what he was with her. “I know you love him too, so it makes things hard.”

“I can see that you’re upset,” she frowned and it had Negan tipping his head from side to side. “That’s why I tried to talk about the relationship between the three of us last night. I needed to know that you were all okay with it, but I feel like we’re not.”

“We’re okay with it, but we both want to be married to you while we’re doing it,” Negan repeated what he had learned, his chest aching at the idea of it. “Listen? I meant what I said. I’m good with the three of us being together. I want to make him happy just like I want to make you happy. I feel things deeply for Joel. Things that can grow into love. Right now? I love him. But I don’t love him like I love you. I don’t think it should be hard for him to have you married to me while we’re together though.”

“I think it’s going to be hard regardless because one of you is going to feel like you lost out,” she reasoned with a frown. “I don’t think I’m this big prize that both you and Joel seem to think I am. Because I’m not.”

“Then you’re blind to things,” Negan scoffed, his Adam’s apple bouncing in his throat. “Listen, I don’t want to persuade you one way or another. I mean it when I say that I’m okay with this relationship being the three of us. And I will be open about it. And I won’t treat him bad because I want to progress these feelings that I have for Joel, but at the end of the day? I’d like to be married to you. If something happens to me, I want whatever I have to go to you and the kids.”

“Nothing is going to happen to you,” she hushed him, hating that the conversation was going in that direction. The topic was already heavy as it was.

“Regardless, I want you to do what you want to do,” Negan repeated what he had said many times. “If you want to marry me, marry me. If you want to marry him, marry him. You’re not losing me either way. As long as you want me? I’m not leaving. And I’m not upset by the idea of the three of us being together. A lot of people snub their nose at poly relationships and if I’m in one, I won’t hide it. I’ll support both you and him equally. I want you to travel and live your life. I want him to start singing and him to live his dreams too.”

“You’re too good to me,” she hinted to Negan with him lowering down to nuzzle his nose in against hers. It had a sharp breath escaping her lips and she closed her eyes. “I love you, so much.”

“I love you too,” Negan whispered, his hands caressing at the sides of her face. “My biggest mistake was not fighting hard enough for you when we were younger. I just let Joel win. And that’s why we are in this position right now. I gave up and I should have never done that.”

“I still blame myself for back then. You were devoted, sweet and everything that I could ever dream for, but my heart was set on Joel,” she realized the mistake that she made when she was a teenager with Joel and Negan. There was something in Negan’s eyes where he looked uncomfortable and she was curious where that was headed. “What? What is it?”

“I just want you to be most comfortable with whatever it is you decide between me and him,” Negan had taken a long time to consider what it was that he wanted to say. “If you think you trust him more than me…”

“It’s not about that, you I trust more than anyone,” she hushed him sliding her hands up over his shoulders. Hooking her arms loosely around them, she tipped up to faintly kiss at his bottom lip. It had his long eyelashes fluttering to a close and she realized that the hot water was starting to just get warm nearing cold. “You make me the happiest other than my children. I just worry that I won’t be the woman that makes you as happy as you make me.”

“That’s fucking silly,” Negan hushed her, pressing another kiss to her lips. “Because you already make me the happiest I’ve been in a very long time.”

“I don’t know why,” she whispered, having him lower down to bring their lips together again in a passionate sweep. Wrapping her up in his arms, Negan held her close and she felt safe. Comfortable. The most relaxed she had all day. “I’ve fucked up so much.”

“How?” Negan was still unaware of why she was being so hard on herself for everything. Parts of it, he understood. But to this extent? Not really.

“I feel like I’m forcing you into things. And him too. You both tell me that you’re comfortable with the three of us together, but both of you want me to marry you…” she rambled out loud and Negan smirked and shook his head.

“I am okay with the three of us together,” Negan declared, sweeping his thumb across her bottom lip. “You’re not forcing anything. And you aren’t with him either. So don’t go thinking that.”

“But with you asking me to marry you,” she began and he hushed her to get her to focus on him and not her fears again.

“I love you,” Negan whispered in her ear, depositing another faint kiss there. “That’s all that matters to me. So please, for your Christmas with your family, allow yourself to have a good day. Stop worrying about me. Stop worrying about Joel and enjoy your day. Things can work themselves out tomorrow. Okay? But today, just relax and let it be Christmas.”

“Yes sir,” she gave him a weak smile, accepting another quick kiss from him. Welcoming another hug, she let this one last longer than it probably should have.

They finished with their shower and then got ready for their Christmas get together. Even though it was a small group of people, they dressed nicely. It was Christmas, sometimes it was okay to make an event out of things.

Negan’s mother was the first person to arrive because she had gifts for the children that Negan helped her carry in to put around the tree. Pretty quickly it was obvious that Negan’s mother was hopping into the role of a grandparent for them because she had gotten them quite a bit as well. They were no question pampered this year with all the people giving them gifts.

Rosita, Siddiq and Coco were the next to arrive. And they were there for a while before Joel showed up with the children along with Tommy and Maria. When they arrived, she was surprised how relaxed everything seemed to be. Joel hugged Negan when he came in and then kissed her on the cheek. There wasn’t as much tension as she had been expecting between them. Tommy explained to them that he was to blame for them being later because they had gone to Maria’s family brunch beforehand.

Everyone mingled for a little while before they decided to go straight to opening Christmas gifts. Dinner was still cooking in the oven and she was pretty sure that the children were excited to see everything under the Christmas tree. Even though they were teenagers, they still had their youth to them when it came to gifts.

This is where she got to take the time to take photos of everyone like Negan had told her she should do. What was nice was how well Negan and Joel were interacting. Both of them were sitting on the floor with Peter and Elizabeth by the tree helping them pass out the gifts that were there. Surprisingly, if Joel was jealous about the gifts that the children got, he didn’t make a big deal about it. Instead he would show the same excited energy they would when showing him things. And it was a nice thing to see.

After all the presents were opened, Peter and Negan were sitting in front of the television playing one of the games that Negan had gotten for him. Elizabeth was sitting and talking with everyone else. But Joel? He was alone standing over by the fireplace gazing upon the photos that were over the mantle.

“Hey,” she whispered, moving in beside him having Joel gaze over his shoulder to give her a weak smile. Curling her fingers around his wrist, she urged him to turn toward her until her fingers hooked with his. “Your gift is somewhere else. Follow me.”

Leading Joel up the stairs toward the attic, this was when she took notice of the fact that Joel was more casually dressed than everyone else tonight. He was in a pair of work boots, jeans and a plaid button down with a white t-shirt underneath. It was a typical Joel Miller look. Truthfully, it’s what she expected from him.

“Is your gift a quickie or…?” Joel teased with a tip of his head, a tiny snort escaping his throat when they reached the ladder of the attic. A firm shove to his shoulder made him snicker, but he bowed before her. “Ladies first.”

“Don’t stare up my dress,” she ordered causing him to eye over her body.

“I wasn’t going to do that, but then you mentioned it and now I’m going to,” Joel announced with her glaring down at him after she already started to climb up the ladder. “Don’t give me that look. I like what’s underneath that dress, so it would be hard for me not to look.”

“I don’t know what I expected,” she continued up the ladder, being careful in pulling herself up. Waiting for Joel at the top, she felt nervous in the moment. Maybe it wasn’t the best idea for her to have pulled Joel away from the rest of the group. Once Joel got up into the attic, he motioned her to wait and turned on the string lights that he had hung for her giving it more of a Christmas feel. There was a silence that fell over them when he stepped before her rubbing his hands together. When she said nothing, his eyebrows bounced up in amusement. “Oh! Right. Your gift.”

Throwing her finger up, she headed over toward his gift to grab it, “I put it up here so it didn’t get damaged. I wanted to keep it safe and people were less likely to fuck with it up here.”

“Damn, so it really was a gift. I was hoping it would be a blowjob or a quickie of some kind for real,” Joel snickered when she returned, giving him another frustrated glance. “Hey! You can’t blame a guy for trying. I worked really hard to make you that nook and we’ve yet to have sex there. I think I deserve a good romp under the stars for doing all of that.”

“Are you Joel or Negan right now?” she couldn’t help but laugh at what he was saying having Joel dramatically shrug. They both laughed as he accepted the gift that she was holding out toward him. Starting to open it, Joel swallowed down hard when he saw the oversized canvas of him with a young Elizabeth and a freshly newborn Peter in the hospital. “I knew that was one of your favorite photos when we were together. I got that done since you have that free space over the fireplace that you kept complaining about every time I’d come over in the past.”

“Tommy actually got me a painting of a ranch that has horses on it. He gave me it for my birthday and we stuck it up there,” Joel explained to her and it immediately had the color draining from her face. Stammering, Joel held his hand up and shook his head. Well shit, there he went again making her feel like her gift wasn’t any good. “This is perfect though. I’m going to make sure to move that and put this up there instead. I’ll put the other painting in my room.”

“You don’t have to do that,” she frowned, standing before Joel with an uneasiness in her body. “I just knew you always liked that photo and I guess I should have gotten a more recent photo of all of you, but it was one of the last times I knew you were genuinely happy and…”

“I love it,” Joel assured her, clinging tightly to the gift giving her a firm nod. “It’s perfect.”

There was the silence again. Awkwardly, Joel pulled his stare from her and lowered it down to gaze over the canvas that she had done, “Why did you pick something that didn’t have you in it?”

“For obvious reasons,” she whispered, surprised that was his first question. “I had it done before everything happened. I didn’t even know you had broken up with Tess by the time I ordered it. So, I was just trying to think of something I thought you would like.”

“You went out and had this done for me when you thought I was still with Tess?” Joel repeated noticing that she gave him a weird expression.

“I’ve always given you gifts for Christmas Joel. Even when we weren’t together,” she noted, folding her arms in front of her chest. Had he really forgotten all the things she had done for him even when they were divorced? She never forgot his birthday or Christmas.

“Did you give him the gift?” Peter’s voice called out from the ladder making the both of them jump. Somehow Peter had managed to be incredibly quiet making his way up there. When he saw his father holding onto the canvas, Peter gave a big cheesy smile. “I told mom you’d like it!”

“Yeah, I love it,” Joel lifted it to show Peter the photo. “This was the last time you weren’t such a pain in the butt.”

“Haha, so funny,” Peter moved in beside Joel having his father wrap his arm around his shoulders. Patting his father on the abdomen had Joel grunting and Peter nodded toward Y/N. “So, what’d you get mom? Or did you not give it to her yet?”

“I…uh…” Joel’s face went red, his brown eyes looking her over. Releasing Peter, Joel set the canvas down letting it rest against the wall. Shoving his hands into his pockets, Joel looked around the finished attic. “This was supposed to be her Christmas gift buddy. I spent a pretty penny on it.”

“Oh,” Peter muttered, shoving his hands into his pockets and giving a simple shrug. What was interesting was how much what he did just mirrored his father. “That’s cool I guess. A little lame considering it’s Christmas. People want things that they can open.”

“Hey,” Y/N hushed Peter, shaking her head not wanting Joel to feel bad about the whole thing. 

Silence followed before Peter pointed down toward the ladder again, “We should go have dinner! My stomach is rumbling. It smells like the turkey is about to be done.”

“I’ll come check it in a minute,” Y/N assured her son who gave another nod. Realizing that Peter came up here to remind her of the rather large dinner that he was desperate to get his hands on. Y/N looked to Joel who was still eyeballing the gift she gave him. “Sorry it’s not something better.”

“No, I like it,” Joel held his hand up to suggest that it was fine, but she still felt a little silly. Pushing his hands into his pockets, Joel rocked back and forth on his feet. Both Negan and Joel’s gifts felt good at the time she was getting them, but now she felt very self-conscious about the both of them. “I should have gotten you a Christmas gift.”

“Like you said, this was more than enough,” she circled her finger in the air toward the area that surrounded them. Then it made her think about something. Negan wanted to buy that house that was their dreamhouse when they were children if they stayed in this town. Joel had just spent so much time fixing up the attic that she had asked him for. The one thing she wanted so badly when they lived here for quite some years. Joel would be furious with her if she told him that. “Thanks Joel.”

“You fell for that?” Joel scoffed with her heading back toward the ladder to leave the attic. “After everything? You think I didn’t learn anything?”

“Come again?” she didn’t know where Joel was headed with things as he motioned her to move away from the opening in the floor.

“I obviously have a gift for you,” Joel replied, biting down on his bottom lip. Reaching for something from his pocket, Joel pulled out a small box that was there. Suddenly she felt panicked seeing it. “I fucked up in the past when I didn’t get you a gift for our anniversary other than those flowers. You wanted me to show that I’ve learned and that I’m growing as a person,” Joel rambled urging her to turn around for him. “Close your eyes.”

“Joel?” she hoped to God that it wasn’t a ring considering everything that had been going on. Huffing, he spun his finger in a circle asking her to turn around. So she did what he asked of her. Turned away and closed her eyes. Hearing him fumbling, she was thankful when she felt something cool resting at the center of her chest. After Joel was done, he placed a delicate kiss over the side of her neck.

“Now you can look,” Joel instructed and when he heard the sound she made, he realized that she must have seen it.

“You found it?” she turned on her heel to look back at Joel who gave her a weak smile but shook his head. Between her fingers she was holding onto the gift he had given her. “How then? It looks exactly like the old one.”

“Just with newer materials,” Joel reasoned with her while she gazed upon the locket that he had personally made for her. “I found a photo of you wearing it. So I did what I could to make you a new one. I put the same photos in it…”

The locket was heart shaped with a compass engraved on the front. There were a few jewels of some kind that were red in the design. Opening the locket, she gazed upon the photo on the left side that was of her with Joel and Elizabeth. On the right was a photo of all of them with Peter. Smirking, she stroked her thumb in over the locket and felt tears burning at her eyes.

For the longest time, the original just had the one photo with Elizabeth, but when they had Peter, she had gotten another photo added to it. The original had been one of her favorite gifts, but she had unfortunately lost it at a school function that they had on the beach with Elizabeth when she was younger. It wasn’t until she had gotten home that she realized that she had lost it. At the time she assumed the clasp must have broken. She was so heartbroken that when Joel came home that night, he immediately went to the beach and crawled around in the sand looking for it. But he never found it. No matter how long they looked for it. And that was something that had devastated her because it was a gift that had been given to her when they really didn’t have much money as a family.

“It looks like the original,” she pointed out, her eyes tearing over. Lifting her head up, she knew that Joel was proud of his gift. Lowering the locket back down, she stepped forward and wrapped her arms around Joel’s shoulders. “Thank you. This was very sweet.”

“Of course,” Joel pressed a faint kiss over her cheek. When she pulled away it looked like he wanted to say something else, but instead he led her over toward the ladder. Made sure that he got down first before helping her get down safely.

Peter was right, dinner was ready and Negan had already started preparing everything for her with her gone. So she helped him finish, putting out the food allowing people to plate what they wanted before heading into the dining room.

Y/N was seated at the end of the table. On her right was Negan and on her left was Elizabeth. Joel was between both Elizabeth and Peter. Tommy was on the other end with both Maria and Siddiq deep in conversation. People seemed to really enjoy talking and there were a lot of compliments about her food she made with Negan. Everyone was pretty loud while they talked which meant they were enjoying themselves.

“So where’s your ring?” Elizabeth blurt out when there was a moment of silence, getting her mother’s attention. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Negan had gone pale with him shaking his head. It was in that moment she realized that she hadn’t told her daughter that she didn’t accept Negan’s proposal. Part of her thought Joel would have told her when he got home today, but he obviously hadn’t. Everyone’s attention was now on them with her feeling suddenly on the spot. “You should tell us about everything. All the details. What it was like.”

“What ring?” Peter blurt out with a mouthful of food, his dark eyes looking between his mother and Negan. Neither one of them spoke since they both equally had no idea what to say. “What’s she talking about?”

“Negan asked mom to marry him,” Elizabeth explained before they could say anything. A loud choking sound fell from Negan with him patting at his chest. Rosita let out a sound of awe visibly thinking that they were officially engaged. Tommy started talking about it to Maria who was eager to congratulate them. “It was really cute. He had me help him set up this video of all these small clips of him and mom from when they were younger. We got all of these rose pedals and set it up so that when he asked her to marry him they would fall down from the ceiling. It was at a skating rink where I guess they had their first kiss as children.”

“Goddamn girl, you need to show us your ring,” Rosita expressed her wow over hearing what Elizabeth had just told them. Looking to Siddiq, she swatted at his shoulder and huffed. “You could have been way more romantic when you asked me.”

“Congrats you two,” Tommy’s southern drawl came out from across the table. It had Joel looking down at his plate poking at his food. There was an irritation growing in Joel and she could tell that he didn’t like everyone being so happy at the idea of her with Negan. “Are you two getting married on New Years like Negan wanted to do?”

“You knew Negan was going to ask her to marry him?” Joel snapped, his head lifting immediately to stare at his brother. Dropping his fork that was in his hand made a loud clinking sound fill the room with everyone at the table going silent.

“Yeah, he talked to me about it in New York,” Tommy explained, swallowing down hard with the way that Joel was glaring at him. It was like he had deceived Joel in some fashion by not telling him about it.

“You wanted to get married on New Years?” Y/N whispered to Negan, surprised that it was his idea to get married so quickly. Instead of responding to her, Negan just looked down toward his lap and swallowed down hard.

“You two are getting married?” Peter blurt out with an amused rumble of a sound. Truthfully? Peter didn’t seem to upset at the idea of it. “So that means that my stepdad is going to be a professional baseball player?”

“Is that all that you care about?” Joel snapped at Peter which had everyone tense. The outrage confused Peter who slowly chewed what was in his mouth. “What happened to wanting your parents to get back together? I thought you would be upset at the idea.”

“Well, yeah, but after four years I didn’t think that would ever happen. I just…Negan is really cool,” Peter tried to explain to his father, shifting uncomfortably in his seat once he realized that Joel was upset about everything. “Having Negan around lately has been really fun. I just thought it would be cool to say my mom was married to Negan Smith.”

“Who is only going to be a baseball player for another year,” Joel reminded Peter and it made Negan laugh at the end of the table. There was a fire flooding through Joel’s veins when he looked to Negan who had his head lowered and he was pinching at the bridge of his nose. “Is something funny?”

“No, nothing is funny,” Negan stammered, not even bothering to lift his head to look at Joel. “I just feel like whenever we make progress, something happens that knocks it back down. It’s like you can’t help but throw in a diss every chance you get. It doesn’t matter how nice I am to you. What I do for you. Or how you feel about me, you just always have to make a smart remark about how I’m not as good or as perfect as people think I am.”

“I’m only speaking the truth,” Joel countered, throwing his hands up in the air and he could tell that he made everyone uncomfortable with his outburst. “You are only going to be a professional ball player for another year. It’s only a year’s worth of bragging. Because let’s be honest, once you retire, no one is going to give a fuck.”

“Joel,” Tommy spoke up, his expression showing that he was embarrassed at his older brother’s response to things. “Maybe now isn’t the time to act like this.”

“I’m not taking away from their special moment,” Joel claimed, placing his hand in over the center of his chest and pointing the other one toward Y/N and Negan. “She didn’t even say yes to him anyways. They aren’t engaged.”

“Negan?” his mother looked to him and it was clear that Negan hadn’t even told his own mother that she didn’t say yes.

“You didn’t?” Elizabeth was shocked to hear that very thing because she was almost certain that her mother would have told Negan yes. At this point, Y/N looked completely overwhelmed and she wasn’t looking at anyone. “Why?”

“Because she doesn’t want to be with him,” Joel snorted as if it was an obvious answer. It had Negan pushing his chair back and getting up from the table. Tossing his napkin down on the table, Negan walked out of the dining room and left an uncomfortable silence amongst them all. “What?”

“Nice,” Y/N breathed out, getting up from the table to follow Negan which left Joel alone with everyone that was there.

“Was that necessary?” Tommy grunted under his breath realizing that Joel seemed to be entirely focused on Y/N leaving the dining room. “You should be happy for them. If it gives her the chance at happiness…”

“You know, I think I saw some great looking desserts in the kitchen,” Maria announced getting up from the table and moving over toward Peter and Elizabeth to place her hand in over their shoulders. “How about the two of you take me in the kitchen and we could look at what we might want. What do you say?”

----

“Negan,” Y/N called out moving into the backyard to see that he was standing at the corner of her deck. It was snowing and the Christmas lights that she had hanging out there were the only things that were illuminating over him. Moving in beside him, she pressed her hand in over his shoulder to give it a firm squeeze. “You have to ignore him, he has no idea how to keep his mouth shut sometimes.”

“That’s me, not Joel,” Negan corrected her giving a firm shake of his head, letting out a tense breath. “I’m the one that can’t keep my mouth shut. Joel was the quiet brooding one. Yet, when he gets the chance to attack me, he can’t help but do it. What did the two of you talk about when I was sleeping last night?”

“What does…” she paused to consider what he was asking her. “I don’t understand why you are asking me that. I told you that he mentioned that I should be married to him and not you. Elizabeth had told him about the proposal. He came over while you were sleeping. Elizabeth was worried that she hadn’t heard back from me…”

“And you told him that you didn’t want to be with me?” Negan was attempting to put two and two together. 

“No, that’s not what I told him,” she denied that thought immediately, throwing her hands up in the air hoping to get him to realize that she meant what she said. “We bickered. I told you, I’m just confused about all of this Negan. We all had that conversation last night because I thought we should take time focusing on the three of us first. Then working everything else out.”

“I honestly don’t understand why you’re so fucking upset,” Joel interrupted the two of them moving in behind them. It had them looking back at Joel who had his hands shoved into his pockets. “The whole idea of the conversation last night was to talk about the three of us being together. Yet you’re still so fucking focused on her being married to you. So what if she doesn’t want to be married to you? She doesn’t want to be married to me either.”

“I’m not doing this,” Negan forced himself to look away from Joel shaking his head and bracing his hands at the side of the deck. “I’m not fighting with you again. There is no sense to it.”

“Well, now that we’re talking about the whole marriage thing, I’m a little fucking surprised you never told me when the two of us were hooking up that you were going to ask my ex-wife to marry you,” Joel snapped, his jaw flexing in frustration. “That was something that you should have brought up to me.”

“It was none of your business,” Negan muttered under his breath, the vein at the side of his neck bulging.

“Joel, now is not the time,” she begged of Joel, holding her hands up in the air to try to keep him from talking any further about things.

“No, I think this is something that does need to be talked about because it was just something that was pushed under the rug,” Joel stepped forward, shrugging his shoulders as he spoke. “We talked about this trio relationship between us, but I’m not asked if I’m okay with him proposing to you? If we’re supposed to be equals in this relationship, don’t you think I have a fucking say? Shouldn’t I have been asked in the first place.”

“Alright, if you want to go there,” Negan turned, bracing his back when he turned to face Joel and Y/N. “Why do you talk about me like I’m a piece of shit? You can’t help but diss me every chance you can. Even in front of the children. Was what you just said necessary? Downplaying my importance to the game.”

“I’m just letting my kid know that if the only reason he wants you to be his stepfather is because you’re a fucking baseball player that he’s going to be highly disappointed because it won’t last long,” Joel defended himself knowing that it was the jealousy of his son being excited at the idea of Negan being married to Y/N that provoked him to say that. “You’re nothing after that.” 

“Oh, fuck you,” Negan snarled knowing that Joel was still attempting to make him feel bad. “You really have a dick up your ass, y’know that?”

An uncomfortable breath fell from Joel’s throat and it made Negan laugh, “Never mind. You’re actually easier to be around when you do have a dick up your ass.”

“Don’t say shit like that around my family,” Joel warned Negan, pulling his right hand out from his pocket to point directly at Negan.

“Yeah, because big bad Joel couldn’t handle his family knowing that he likes both men and women, right?” Negan snapped at Joel, his eyes rolling dramatically and his head bobbing about almost in a mocking way. “Y’know, I think if you actually took time to start accepting yourself for who you are, you might not be such an asshole and you might start to actually like yourself.”

“Joel, go back inside,” Y/N begged of Joel, frustrated that he even followed her out here in the first place. “Please.”

“No, you know what,” Joel urged Y/N to step aside when he moved before Negan. “Yeah, you’re right. I should be able to open myself up to the idea of my children knowing who I am. But I have a question for you. Since we’re going back and forth. Did you ever think that maybe you were overstepping when you asked my wife to marry you? We both know that she didn’t say yes to you because she still loves me.”

“Ex-wife. And everyone knows that she loves you, but it doesn’t mean she wants to be with you Joel,” Negan stammered, his voice showing hurt. “She doesn’t know what she wants because you keep fucking with her head.”

“Or maybe she just actually loves me and you’re the one fucking with her head,” Joel retorted, the top of his nose wrinkling when he stepped in closer to Negan. “Everything was fucking fine until you came back Negan.”

“Was it? Because she was fucking miserable,” Negan snarled at Joel, the lines in his forehead growing with how angry Joel was making him. “Everyone fucking tells me how fucking sad she was before she started spending time with me again. You made her fucking miserable and she was sad. It took her finding me again to have some sense of happiness. It took me to give you happiness too Joel. If it wasn’t for me, she would still be furious with you about what she found on your fucking laptop. I’m the one that keeps telling her to give you a second chance because I understand that sometimes we make mistakes in our fucking life. I make the both of you happy. Without me…”

“Oh yeah? You make her happy?” Joel commented with a deep rumble of a southern drawl. Negan nodded and Y/N found herself wishing that this never was happening in the first place. “Then why the hell didn’t she tell you yes? If she loved you and she genuinely loved you, she would have told you yes when it came to marrying you. And you fucking know it.”

“Because of you and the children,” she screamed out getting both Negan and Joel to look back at her surprised that she finally erupted. “Goddamn it, stop poking at him and trying to hurt him all the time Joel. I love both of you. Negan understands that, why can’t you?”

“What do you mean me and the children?” Joel grumbled, giving his attention to her now. “It means that you love us and you want to be with us, right?”

“It means that right before Negan asked me to marry him, he offered me everything I’ve ever wanted. The life I always dreamt of when I was younger. They asked Negan to be the coach of the team after he retires. And with that deal? He managed to get me a deal with the team where I could be a journalist, take photos and travel the world with him and I’d be making a lot of money doing it too,” she informed Joel with a saddened breath, looking between both men. “And while it sounded nice and every part of me wants to accept it, I know I can’t because I have both Elizabeth and Peter here. They need me. I can’t be on the road all the time with Negan following him down to spring training and around the country for games when they have school. They need a mom. I can’t leave them. So while it would be nice to actually do the things that I always dreamt of, I know that I can’t because I have to put them above me. And then with you…”

She paused, Joel was listening intently with his brown eyes locked on her, “You are always going to be loved by me Joel. Negan isn’t wrong. I love the both of you very much. And I know that you have a lot of weight on your shoulders and sometimes I have to be here to help carry that weight when things go wrong. You count on me just as much as the children do.” 

“That’s why you told Negan no?” Joel stammered, confusion flooding his face.

“I don’t know,” she was honest with Joel, her face hot with embarrassment. “I don’t want to break your heart. And I don’t want to break his heart. But no matter the choice I make, I feel like I’m going to hurt someone and I don’t want to do that.”

“I can’t believe you,” Joel seemed disgusted with Negan when he returned his attention back to him. Stepping forward, he shoved firmly into Negan’s shoulders having him grunt. “You’re all pro this relationship, but you don’t tell me shit? You don’t respect me.”

“You weren’t my top priority at the time. I was working to get you the music deals,” Negan replied back doing his best to keep his hands down at his sides with how angry Joel was getting.

“You only did that because you wanted me to be satisfied with you trying to marry her and take her away from here,” Joel thought aloud causing Negan to smirk and shake his head. “What other reason would you have Negan?”

“Musicians fucking travel Joel. I thought whatever city we were in, we could get you a deal where you sang in that city. We’d bring the children with us,” Negan explained his thought process, his Adam’s apple bouncing in his throat. “You know that you have people interested in working with you now because of everything. I can make your dreams happen, just like I can hers. But you both are so stuck within yourselves that you won’t allow me to give them to you.”

“And what am I supposed to do with my job that I already have?” Joel snapped at Negan who simply shrugged his shoulders. “You have an answer for everything.”

“Let Tommy run it. You’re the owner, but the owner isn’t always around,” Negan reasoned with him evoking a scoff from Joel. “And not to be an asshole Joel, but asking her to marry me, I didn’t need to ask your permission. You already had your chance with her being her husband. You shouldn’t have a problem with her being married to me because you’re not going to be left out.”

“I already had my chance?” Joel repeated what Negan said, his southern drawl sounding incredibly angry. “What makes you think she would be happier being married to you? The man who is actually known to physically cheat on his spouse? You’re not the man she should marry. It should be me because…”

“Yes, please tell me how much better you are for her than I am,” Negan dramatically threw his hands about, mocking Joel by adding a bit of an accent to his voice. “I offer you both the job of your dreams and I’m the fucking villain. Why? Because I asked her to marry me?”

“Please for the love of God stop,” she finally interrupted them, frustrated that they were still fighting over her. “If you two are so fucking desperate to be married, why don’t you two get married? I’ll be the third wheel. And I’ll happily take it. You two get married. I’ll support it!”

“No,” both of them muttered at the same time.

“I don’t know why you can’t just tell him that you want to be married to me while we’re together,” Joel reasoned with her, pointing between all of them. “I’m the love of your life. Not him. You said no to him because of how you feel about me.”

“I said no to him because I was emotional about the idea of the job, Joel. I didn’t think I could handle being away from my family that long. My family needed me. If he would have asked out of order, I don’t know what I would have told him,” she was honest having a hard time looking at Joel when she thought about the whole situation. “You’re all I’ve ever known Joel and it’s scary picturing a life with someone else. Away from everything you know. Everything you’ve grown used to.

“So you’re not saying yes to Negan or taking the job because of us?” Peter called out and it had both her and Joel turning nervously toward the back door shocked to see that both the children were standing there. “Mom, that’s silly.”

“We’re teenagers now. I’m going to be going to college soon,” Elizabeth informed her with a saddened breath, her dark eyes narrowing when she stepped forward. Negan had his head down and his hands were in his pockets with his breathing loud. “I know you, you’re still going to be a good mom wherever you are.”

“I don’t want you not to live your dream because of us,” Peter noted, shrugging his shoulders and shaking his head from side to side. “And I don’t care who you are married to. Whether it’s dad or Negan, I just want you happy.”

“We both want you happy,” Elizabeth repeated her brother’s sentiment, giving her mother a nod of approval and it was one of the first times that these two actually agreed on anything. “I didn’t think I would want you to be with anyone other than dad, but Negan makes you happy. And that’s what matters most to me. So if you make a decision, please don’t do it based off of us. We just want you happy.”

“I love you guys,” Y/N breathed out and it was obvious that she was crying by the way that she sounded. “But it’s a little bit harder than that.”

“Why?” Peter stammered, stepping forward to try to appeal to his mom. “We both know you’re a good mom. And if dad is getting calls about being a singer, why can’t you both be happy? Having us shouldn’t be the thing that holds you back from being happy. We’re both old enough to understand things. And we’d support you.”

“How much did you hear?” Joel breathed out having his chest aching when they looked to him.

“Enough to say that if you did what mom said, we’d support you too,” Elizabeth pointed between both Negan and Joel. “We don’t care who you like dad. We just want you happy too.”

“I’d still brag about you marrying Negan too,” Peter offered up with a simple shrug getting Negan to snicker at the idea of it. “I’d happily tell people my dad was married to Negan Smith. It wouldn’t embarrass me one bit. We love you and mom. And Negan is part of our family now too.”

“You raised us better than to care about those kind of things,” Elizabeth stepped in beside Joel who swallowed down hard with his daughter giving his upper arm a firm squeeze. “At the end of the day, we just want you guys to be happy. Pick what you want to do with your lives because it’s what you want. Not because you’re afraid of us being upset. Because we will be fine. We’ll make things work wherever we are.”

“I’d brag that my mom worked for the baseball team I loved. I’d brag that my dad was a singer. I’d also brag that my parents were both with Negan Smith. I don’t give a fuck,” Peter continued on having Y/N scoff behind him with the language. “Sorry mom. I’m just trying to make a point here. I know that men like men sometimes. I know that men like men and women sometimes. And all that stuff. I wasn’t raised to hate anyone. Nor do I care what anyone else thinks. Yeah, it’s complicated. But what isn’t in life?”

“That’s the most mature I think you’ve ever sounded,” Elizabeth teased her brother, placing her hand in over his shoulder. “We love all three of you. We don’t want you to keep fighting. We don’t. Whatever happens. We love you.”

There seemed to be tears in Joel’s eyes when he gave the children a firm nod, “Thank you two. It means a lot hearing that and one day, I will talk to the both of you, but right now I think the three of us need some privacy to finish things up here. Okay?”

“Just let me leave you with this,” Elizabeth started, waving her hand about in the air between all three of them. “If I was stuck in a position where I had the chance to have everything I ever wanted, you and dad would tell me to do it. Because you want what’s best for me. Well neither of you have your parents here to tell you that it’s okay. So listen to me and Peter then. It’s okay. We’ll be okay. Do what makes you happy. Because we’re along for the ride no matter what.”

There was a broken breath that fell from Joel as Y/N stepped forward to wrap Elizabeth up in her arms to give her a big hug. Pressing a kiss against her temple, Y/N turned to do the same thing with Peter before ushering them back into the house after telling them she loved them.

“See,” Negan spoke up from behind them. “It’s not as hard as either of you think it is. No one is going to care if you’re married to me or if you take those jobs because…”

“Oh would you get off it with the married thing,” Joel erupted on Negan, turning on his heel to point out at him again. “If anyone deserved to be married to her it’s me.”

“You guys are never going to stop, are you?” she breathed out having both Negan and Joel look to her. “No matter what I say? You’re just going to fight over me?”

“Well I think we deserve to know which one you’re going to pick,” Joel pointed between the both of them having Negan swallow down hard. “One of us should be able to be your husband and the other one just needs to fucking deal.”

“I’m not doing this right now,” she frowned visibly upset, turning on her heel to leave.

Outstretching his hand, Joel curled his fingers around her wrist to try to stop her from leaving. That wasn’t exactly the answer that Joel wanted to hear, but she wasn’t going to give him anything more. Tugging her wrist away, she went back into the house and left both of them alone outside.

Everyone pretended like those last few minutes at the table didn’t happen, but there was still a weird tension in the air for everyone. By the end of the night when everyone was leaving and thanking Y/N, Joel knew that he wanted to continue their conversation in some fashion. So Joel asked Tommy and Maria to take the children home. Which left Negan sitting on the left end of the couch and Joel sitting on the right leaving the middle open.

Negan’s head was lowered, his fingers hooked together when Y/N closed the door behind her after the final guest left. Joel was watching her realizing that she let out an overwhelmed sound when she faced them, “Well I’m not going to have a peaceful night, am I?”

“I don’t think you mean what you said earlier,” Joel stressed to her, shaking his head firmly. “If the life you wanted was the life that Negan offered you, you would have said yes. But I think the life you want is the life that you had with me. When we were happy.”

“We all agreed on this relationship between the three of us,” she reminded them stepping before them on the couch, her arms folding in front of her chest.

“I am okay with it being the three of us,” Negan slid back further on the couch, his hazel eyes finally meeting hers with a simple shrug. “I’ve never changed my mind on that.”

“It’s not that I have a problem with that,” Joel declared waving his hand between the three of them.

“Obviously, since you don’t mind having sex with him,” she pointed out toward Negan who was smirking drawing attention to his prominent dimples. Joel’s face flushed over with heat and he forced himself to look away from them. “So why do I have to pick one or the other?”

“We both want to be your primary lover,” Joel commented, pulling himself to the edge of the couch. His brow line was incredibly expressive with the way his chocolate brown eyes were staring up at her. “I want you to be married to me and he wants you to be married to him. And I don’t care who has sex with who. The poly relationship is perfectly fine with me. I just want you to be married to me.”

“You do realize how fucking ridiculous this sounds, right?” Negan scoffed, finally turning his head to look at Joel. “You had four years to get her back, but you want her to marry you now because I want her to marry me.”

“Don’t use that against me,” Joel grunted, his angered stare meeting Negan’s. “You weren’t here those four years, so you don’t know, but the two of us kept having a relationship in certain ways while you weren’t here. We had sex plenty of times while we were separated and divorced.”

“Sex isn’t like being in a relationship. There is sex and there is being together,” Negan countered, his jaw flexing and his eyes narrowing in frustration. “You had your chance Joel and you fucked it up.”

“And you deserve one why? Just because you came in and for a few weeks made her content?” Joel snapped back, his posture growing rigid with the accusation that Negan threw out at him. “Relationships can’t be determined from just a few weeks. We’ve been together almost twenty years. You two have dated a few weeks and suddenly you think she is the love of your life. You’re just looking for a rebound from Lucille.”

“Watch what you say or you’re gonna get knocked on your ass again,” Negan warned with a scowl, having Joel dramatically bob his head about.

“I’d like to see you fucking try,” Joel shot back and it had Y/N groaning out heading over to the coffee table to sit down. Burying her head into her hands had both men’s attention returning to her instead of fighting about things.

“You both like each other so you both need to shut up. For the love of God,” she pled, dragging her hand down over her face. Staring at Joel, she raised her left hand and pointed to Negan. “This man has been nothing but nice when it comes to you telling me over and over again that if I want to be with you he would understand. He’s your biggest defender and you treat him like shit.”

“I…” Joel looked to Negan who grumbled something under his breath and turned to look away from Joel.

“And you! Obviously he likes you because you guys have had sex multiple times now, right?” she confirmed with Negan who nodded once to give her the answer she wanted. “So why does it matter who I’m official with? Because you two like each other too.”

“I know it seems stupid, but being married to you means a lot…” Joel described how he felt about things and he shifted in his position. Right now he felt uncomfortably warm with the attention on him. “And I think instead of dragging us along you should give us an answer so we don’t have to wonder who you want to be with. I mean, there is the whole poly thing, but who do you want to be married to?”

“Did you ever think that maybe I don’t want to be married to anyone?” she brought up a good question that honestly? Neither one of them took into consideration. “Did you think that maybe I just want to enjoy a relationship with both of you because I enjoy it? That I’m comfortable with how things were.”

“Is that true?” Negan was the one to speak up this time and it surprised her because it was an answer that she was originally giving for Joel who was so insistent upon the marriage thing. “So does that mean you aren’t reconsidering the whole marriage thing?”

“I’m considering a lot of things,” she frowned when she realized that they were both deep in this even though Negan was the quieter one. “You both are putting me in a hard position here.”

“Is it really that hard of a position to pick which one of us that you would rather be married to?” Joel stammered, placing his hand in over the center of his chest.

“If you don’t want to be married to me, it’s okay,” Negan suggested trying to find the right words to say to make her feel better about everything.

“It’s not that I don’t want to be married to you,” she stated followed by a long sigh. “I just don’t know. I really don’t.”

“Well, I love you so fucking much and I just want you happy,” Negan reasoned with her, throwing his hands up. Negan’s words were broken and there wasn’t much confidence in them when he said it. “I really do and if I’m making you unhappy…”

“Dear God, stop,” Joel snarled at Negan, “we both know that you care. You care so fucking much about this and you want an answer just as much as I do.”

“This isn’t the kind of thing I can just have an answer for immediately,” she reasoned with both of them looking between Negan’s hazel eyes and Joel’s brown eyes. They were both hopeful and it killed her that it was getting to this. “So if you both expect me to give you some kind of answer right now and there is no other option?”

She paused, her voice breaking when she started talking again, “Then I don’t want either of you. I won’t get married to either one of you. I love you both so fucking much. And if I pick? I’m breaking both of your hearts. Either way, I’m hurting one of you. And I refuse to do that. I won’t do it.”

Both of them seemed upset hearing that and she was definitely getting emotional at this point, “I’m going to need the both of you to leave right now.”

“Leave?” Joel repeated, standing up from the couch and having her move away from him.

“Why do I have to leave?” Negan blurt out, placing his hand in over the center of his chest. “What did I do?”

“You both are putting a lot of stress on me to make really hard decisions and I want you both gone,” she threw her hands up not wanting to put up with this anymore tonight. “I can’t do this. I gave you both my answer. And that’s it.”

“What am I doing? I’ve been supportive about everything,” Negan stammered, standing up from the couch to reach out for her, but she pulled her hands from him. “Y/N?”

“I need time alone right now,” she explained with a frown, not wanting to be near anyone with how everything was turning out. “You want me to make decisions, he wants answers! I need to be alone so I can think about things because this shit is hard enough.”

“What decisions?” Negan asked visibly upset that she was tossing him out of the home too.

“You want me to make up my mind about the job. I know you do. And then there is the marriage proposal and the house…” she listed off the things that he had done over the last few days. “It’s a lot to think about and then he comes in demanding that I pick him or you…even though you both swear that a poly relationship is fine. You both want answers and I need time alone.”

“Everything I’ve done for you is to better your life,” Negan defended himself hearing the sound of Joel moving behind him. “I’m not trying to stress you out or make you uncomfortable. I just want you happy. I love you.”

“I know you love me Negan, but it’s a lot to ask a mom of two to just pick up and run away with you for the whole baseball season when they need me,” she reminded Negan of how she felt about everything. “And while it’s a great opportunity…”

“You heard the children earlier, they just want you happy,” Negan recalled what he had heard both Elizabeth and Peter say. Feeling Joel’s hand placing in over his shoulder to get him to move had Negan grunting. Turning, Negan shoved his hands into the center of Joel’s chest to get him to back up. “Don’t touch me Joel.”

“She wants us to leave,” Joel stressed, but Negan’s face was turning red since Joel was now pushing for them leaving because of ulterior motives. “So what? It’s okay for me to leave, but when she asks you to leave it’s not okay?”

“You’re fucking up everything!” Negan’s voice raised, rage flooding his hazel eyes with Joel trying to shove him toward the door again. “Everything was fine until you got so fucking jealous about everything. You’re okay as long as you’re the center of attention. And you’re driving me fucking nuts. I’ve done nothing but be fucking kind to you because I like you and all you have done is thrown me under the fucking bus at every turn. So now that I’m offering her something amazing in life, she thinks it’s a bad thing because you’re here to constantly put your fucking claws into her. You know that she loves you and rightfully so because you are the father to her children, but you only want her happy as long as it’s with you and I’m the background character in your love story. That’s the only way you want her happy. I actually do want her fucking happy. That is the difference between you and me. You care about Joel Miller, I care about her. Not me. You’re so fucking greedy.”

“Greedy?” Joel repeated what Negan called him, moving forward to shove Negan harder this time. “I’m fucking greedy? I gave up everything for everyone else. So don’t you fucking go around telling me I’m greedy.”

“That’s not what I meant,” Negan grunted through another few of Joel’s shoves. “I’m talking about now, I’m talking about…”

“You got to run away from everything and you think that just coming back here makes it all okay,” Joel reminded Negan of what he had done when they were younger. “If you loved her as much as you fucking swore back then, you would have fought for her. Instead you found Lucille and you ran away because she didn’t mean to you what you thought she did. I’ve been here through everything. The good, the bad…I’m the man that has been a constant in her life…”

“Knock it off before you both start throwing fists again!” she warned them, moving between the two of them to get them separated. “There is so much testosterone between the two of you and it’s going to be another fucking war when you both care about each other. So please! Just stop it!”

“I know you feel like I abandoned you too when I left even though you forced me away,” Negan appealed to Joel with Y/N keeping her hands pressed in over the center of his chest to keep them separated. “You needed your friend when your parents died and I dropped the ball. I should have been here to help you with Tommy just like I did when we were younger, but I was angry. I was so fucking angry Joel, but I am trying to make up for that mistake. Just give me a fucking chance. I love her so fucking much and she makes me happy. For the first time in a long time, I don’t feel like I’m alone…”

Sighing loudly, Joel felt a strange array of emotions flooding over him after Negan’s outburst, “I understand that Negan, but I love her too. I just fucked up, but there is no one else for me but her. I’ve realized that.”

“You should have realized that when you were married to her,” Negan frowned, shaking his head at Joel’s response. “A few weeks with her and I see everything I’ve ever wanted in my life. You have twenty years with her…”

“I’m leaving,” Joel announced with Y/N attempting to calm Negan down to get him to stop. Heading for the door, Joel felt an incredibly strong amount of jealousy with the way that Y/N was talking Negan down. Opening the door, Joel moved down the steps toward his car surprised to hear the sound of footsteps behind him. Closing the door behind him, Negan kept his head down and Joel was surprised. “She made you leave?”

“Yeah, you got what you wanted,” Negan stammered moving through the snow toward his car at the other side of the driveway. “She dumped both of us. Good for you Joel.”

“You act like I’m trying to be malicious because I’m in love with her,” Joel called out to Negan before he could get into his car. “Is it so hard to believe that I love her as much as you do? If not more?”

“Yeah, it’s pretty hard for me to believe,” Negan confessed, dropping his arms at his sides in defeat finally looking to Joel. “Because all you did was hurt her. And because of that? She doesn’t even trust me when I want to do things that make her happy and make her dreams come true. You had a midlife crisis and you regret that, I understand, but do you think you deserve her after everything you did?”

“Do you?” Joel stammered stepping to the other side of Negan’s car. “You’re not a good person Negan, what makes you think you won’t do to her what you did to Lucille? Promise her the world, but then go and cheat on her because you can.”

“That’s a fucking low blow Joel,” Negan shook his head, clinging to his keys at his side. “You’re using the lowest part of my life against me and I regret every bit of it.”

“And you’re doing the same to me,” Joel tried to make Negan understand what he was saying was along the same lines of reminding Negan what he had done to Lucille when he was younger. “You hurt Lucille relentlessly. I know because we talked. I know how she felt about you, about things…at least I waited until I was divorced.”

“Are you trying to get me to kill myself or what?” Negan snarled at Joel behind angered eyes. Scoffing, Negan held his hand up before Joel could even respond. “You know what? Fuck this. Merry Christmas Joel. I hope you had a good day and got exactly what you wanted.”

“Now come on Negan…” Joel grumbled under his breath, throwing his hands up in the air in a defensive motion. Instead of listening, Negan got in the car and the engine started up. Pulling out of the driveway, Negan left Joel alone standing in the driveway realizing that he had both Negan and Y/N incredibly upset with him. This was a terrible way to end Christmas.

----

Tags: @chainsawsangel @fancypeacepersona @violent-darkness @negansbestie @elegantfanficluv

@sanctuaryforthelost @dead-of-niight @dilfsandmartinis @jennydehavilland

[nickgurl4life]

ᢉ𐭩Shattered Chainsᢉ𐭩

Pairings: Ex Boyfriend! + Ex Girlfriend!Reader

Warnings: abuse, child endangerment, manipulation (none of this is Chris), and other angst things, If I missed any let me know!

Summary: reader is in a toxic relationship and Chris is trying to save her and her baby.

w/c: 4,931

a/n: I thought of this idea, if you do NOT like reading about domestic violence or any type of threatening with women/children, do not read! If you read and end up being uncomfortable do not blame me! This is your warning.

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Chris stood in front of the familiar house, his heart pounding in his chest. He had played this moment over and over in his head, imagining how it might go. Would she smile when she saw him? Would they talk about the good times, maybe even laugh about how foolish they’d been to let each other go? After three years apart and a fresh breakup of his own, he couldn’t shake the idea that maybe, just maybe, they were meant to find their way back to each other. Taking a deep breath, he rang the doorbell. The door swung open, but instead of her, a man stood in the doorway. Tall, broad-shouldered, and wearing a smug expression, the stranger looked Chris up and down like he was sizing him up. "Can I help you?" the man asked, his tone sharp. Chris cleared his throat. "Uh, hi. I’m Chris. I was hoping to see her—" he started, but the man cut him off. "Yeah, I know who you are," the man said, leaning against the doorframe. "She’s mentioned you." His tone made it clear that whatever she’d said wasn’t flattering. "What do you want?" Chris faltered, already regretting his decision to come. "I just... I wanted to talk to her. Is she home?" "She’s busy," the man said, crossing his arms. "Look, I get it. You’re the ex, right? Thought you’d swoop in here after three years and win her back or something? Hate to break it to you, man, but she’s moved on." He glanced back into the house and smirked. "We’ve got a good thing going here."

Just as Chris opened his mouth to respond, she appeared behind the man, holding a small baby in her arms. Her eyes widened when she saw Chris. "Chris?" she said, her voice soft with surprise. She shifted the baby in her arms, her expression unreadable. "Hey," Chris said, his voice cracking. "I... I didn’t know you had a baby." he man turned, glancing at her and the baby, then back at Chris with a mocking grin. "Yeah, this is Ellie. She’s ours." He wrapped an arm around her shoulders, pulling her closer. "You’re a little late, buddy." "Adam," she said sharply, stepping away from him. She looked at Chris, her expression now tinged with guilt. "Can we talk? Just us?" Adam raised his hands in mock surrender. "Sure, go ahead. But don’t take too long. Some of us actually have responsibilities." He gave Chris one last condescending look before disappearing into the house. She sighed, stepping out onto the porch with Ellie still in her arms. "I’m sorry about that," she said quietly. "Adam... he can be protective." "Protective?" Chris echoed, his voice laced with bitterness. "He’s a jerk." She winced but didn’t argue. "Chris, why are you here?" Chris looked at her, his chest tightening. "I don’t know," he admitted. "I guess... I thought maybe there was still something between us. After my breakup, I couldn’t stop thinking about you. About us." His voice broke, and he ran a hand through his hair. "But I see now that you’ve got a life—a family."

Her eyes softened, but she shook her head. "Chris, what we had was real, and I’ll always care about you. But things are different now. I’m with Adam, and Ellie... she’s my whole world." She looked down at the baby, her expression tender. Chris swallowed hard, nodding even though his heart was breaking. "I just... I needed to see for myself. To know for sure." She reached out, touching his arm gently. "I hope you find someone who makes you happy, Chris. You deserve that." Before he could respond, the door opened, and Adam leaned out, his smirk firmly back in place. "Everything good out here?" he asked, his tone dripping with false concern. Chris forced a tight smile, swallowing the lump in his throat. "Yeah. Everything’s fine." He turned to her one last time, his voice soft. "Take care of yourself." As he walked away, Adam’s smug laughter echoed behind him, but Chris didn’t look back. He knew he couldn’t change the past, and now, it was clear there was no going back. Two weeks later, Chris found himself driving past her house again, unable to resist the pull that had taken hold of him since that fateful day. He told himself he was being stupid, that he should leave well enough alone, but the sight of the driveway—empty of Adam’s car—ignited a reckless kind of hope. Maybe they could talk without Adam looming over them, making everything tense. Maybe he could finally say what he hadn’t had the courage to before.

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Two weeks later, Chris found himself driving past her house again, unable to resist the pull that had taken hold of him since that fateful day. He told himself he was being stupid, that he should leave well enough alone, but the sight of the driveway—empty of Adam’s car—ignited a reckless kind of hope. Maybe they could talk without Adam looming over them, making everything tense. Maybe he could finally say what he hadn’t had the courage to before. He parked a block away, his palms slick with nervous sweat as he approached the front door. The memory of Adam’s smug smirk and sharp words haunted him, but this time, it didn’t matter. He rang the bell, and when she answered, the baby perched on her hip, she looked surprised but not angry. “Chris,” she said, her tone cautious. “What are you doing here?” “I saw Adam wasn’t home,” he said quickly, holding his hands up in a gesture of surrender. “I swear, I’m not here to cause trouble. I just… I wanted to talk. Please.” She hesitated, glancing down at Ellie, who cooed softly, then back at him. “Alright. Just for a few minutes.” She stepped aside, letting him in, and they sat in the living room, the baby in her lap. Chris couldn’t help but smile at the way Ellie’s tiny hands reached for her mother’s face, the love between them so evident it almost hurt to see. “I wanted to apologize,” Chris began, his voice low. “For showing up out of nowhere last time. I wasn’t thinking straight, and I didn’t mean to make things awkward for you.” She softened slightly, giving him a small nod. “I appreciate that. It was… unexpected, but I understand.

Breakups mess with your head.” Chris swallowed hard, his hands gripping his knees. “I just can’t stop thinking about you. About what we had. I know it’s been years, and I know things are different now, but I can’t shake the feeling that I messed up the best thing I ever had.” She looked down at Ellie, her expression conflicted. “Chris… I won’t lie and say I don’t think about us sometimes. You were important to me. But my life now… it’s complicated. Adam—” Before she could finish, the front door swung open with a loud bang, and Adam’s voice boomed through the house. “I’m home!” Chris froze as Adam appeared in the doorway, his eyes narrowing the moment he saw him. “What the hell is this?” Adam snapped, his face darkening. “It’s not what you think,” she said quickly, standing and bouncing Ellie on her hip in an effort to diffuse the tension. “Chris just came to talk. That’s all.” “To talk?” Adam spat, glaring at Chris. “You don’t belong here. I told you to stay away.” “Adam, stop,” she said firmly, her tone sharp enough to make him hesitate. “I let him in. He’s not causing any trouble.” Adam’s jaw tightened, his hands clenched into fists at his sides. “This guy thinks he can just waltz in here and play the hero? What, you think you’re gonna swoop in and take her away from me? From us?” Chris stood, his own frustration bubbling to the surface. “That’s not what this is about,” he said, his voice steady despite the storm brewing in his chest.

“I just needed to say my piece. I’m not trying to ruin anything.” "Yeah, well, you being here is enough to ruin things,” Adam snapped. “You don’t get to come in here and act like you still have a claim on her. She’s with me now. We’re a family.” “Adam, that’s enough!” she shouted, her voice trembling but firm. Ellie began to cry, the tension in the room too much for the baby. She turned her back on both of them, trying to soothe her daughter. “This isn’t about you or him. It’s about what’s best for me and Ellie. And right now, what I need is for both of you to stop acting like children.” Adam’s face softened slightly at her words, though his glare at Chris remained. Chris took a step back, his heart heavy but his mind clear. “She’s right,” he said quietly. “I shouldn’t have come here. I’m sorry.” Without another word, he turned and walked out the door, the sound of Ellie’s cries echoing in his ears. This time, he knew it was really over. No matter how much he wished things could be different, her life was no longer his to be part of.

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The house was quiet except for the faint hum of the baby monitor on the kitchen counter. Ellie had finally fallen asleep after the tension-filled evening, her tiny breaths audible through the monitor. She leaned against the sink, her hands gripping the edge tightly as she tried to calm the storm brewing inside her. Adam stood across the room, pacing, his footsteps heavy against the floor. His jaw was tight, and his eyes burned with barely contained anger. “I can’t believe you let him in here,” Adam finally snapped, his voice low but cutting. “What were you thinking? After everything I’ve done for you—for us—you let him walk back into your life like it’s nothing?” She turned to face him, her own patience wearing thin. “I wasn’t trying to hurt you, Adam. He showed up, and I didn’t want to make a scene. He just wanted to talk, and I thought it would be better to let him say whatever he needed to say so he’d leave for good.” Adam scoffed, throwing his hands in the air. “So what, you’re just inviting your exes over now? Letting them sit in my house, around my family? What’s next, you’re going to let him hold Ellie?” “Stop it!” she hissed, her voice sharp but quiet to avoid waking Ellie. “This isn’t about you or Chris. It’s about me trying to handle something from my past so it doesn’t keep coming back. He’s gone now, Adam. You don’t need to keep blowing this out of proportion.”

“Blowing it out of proportion?” he repeated, his voice rising despite her warning. “How do you think this looks? He’s still in love with you—it’s obvious! And you just let him walk in here like nothing’s changed. Do you even respect me? Us?” Her hands clenched into fists at her sides as she fought to keep her composure. “Don’t you dare question my respect for you, Adam. I’ve been nothing but honest and committed to you since the beginning. But that doesn’t mean I owe you control over how I handle my past. Chris is not a threat to us, and the fact that you’re turning this into something it isn’t says more about your insecurities than it does about me.” His face darkened at her words, but he didn’t respond immediately. The silence between them stretched, heavy and tense. Finally, he spoke, his voice quieter but still laced with bitterness. “You don’t get it, do you? I’m not just mad because he showed up—I’m mad because you let him make me feel like I’m not enough. Like he still has a place in your life.” She shook her head, exhaustion settling over her. “He doesn’t have a place in my life, Adam. I told him that tonight. You’re the one I chose. You’re the one I’m building a life with. But if you keep letting your jealousy and pride get in the way, you’re going to ruin this yourself.” Adam stared at her for a moment, his expression unreadable.

Then, without another word, he turned and stormed off toward the bedroom, leaving her standing alone in the kitchen. The baby monitor hummed softly, a stark contrast to the turmoil raging inside her. She closed her eyes, taking a deep breath to steady herself. It wasn’t Chris who was threatening her future—it was Adam. And as she stood there in the quiet of the night, she couldn’t help but wonder how much more of this she could take.

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A week later, she sat on the edge of the bed, the baby monitor humming beside her. Ellie was asleep, and the house was quiet, but her mind was anything but. For days, Adam had been acting colder, more controlling, monitoring her every move. She felt trapped, suffocated by his paranoia and manipulations. She needed help, someone to remind her of the person she used to be before all of this. Against her better judgment, she dialed Chris’s number, her hands trembling as she held the phone to her ear. “Hello?” Chris’s voice came through the line, warm but cautious. “Is everything okay?” She let out a shaky breath, her voice barely above a whisper. “Chris, I—I don’t know what to do. Things with Adam… they’re worse than ever. I think—” “What the hell are you doing?” Adam’s voice boomed from the doorway, making her jump. Before she could react, he stormed over and snatched the phone from her hand, glaring at the screen before pressing it to his ear.

“Listen here, you piece of crap,” Adam growled, his voice venomous. “Stay out of my family’s life. You’ve got no business talking to her, and if I ever catch you calling her again, I’ll make sure you regret it.” "Put her back on the phone, Adam,” Chris demanded, his tone steady but firm. “I’m not going to let you treat her like this.” Adam laughed bitterly, pacing the room with the phone in his grip. “You’re not going to let me? Last I checked, I’m the one here, not you. She doesn’t need your help. She doesn’t need you. Stay out of it before you make things worse for her.” She stood frozen, her heart pounding as she watched the scene unfold, tears welling in her eyes. Adam ended the call abruptly, throwing the phone onto the bed before turning to her, his face twisted with fury. “You think running to him is going to fix anything? You think he’s going to save you?” She opened her mouth to respond, but no words came. The room felt smaller now, the walls closing in as Adam loomed over her. She knew she couldn’t stay silent much longer—something had to change before it was too late.

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Chris hadn’t been able to get her call out of his mind. Her voice had been shaky, scared—nothing like the woman he’d known years ago. Something was wrong, and no matter what Adam had threatened, he couldn’t ignore it. He drove to the house late that evening, his hands gripping the wheel tightly, determination coursing through him. The driveway was empty, and the lights inside were dim, but he didn’t let that deter him. When he reached the door and knocked, there was no response. He hesitated for a moment, debating whether to leave, but a gut feeling told him not to. The thought of her and the baby in danger gnawed at him. He tested the doorknob, and to his surprise, it turned. Quietly, he let himself in, his footsteps cautious as he moved toward the muffled voices coming from the living room. As he got closer, the voices became clearer—her voice, trembling and pleading, and Adam’s, sharp and venomous. Chris froze when he stepped into the doorway and saw the scene before him. Adam was standing over her, holding Ellie in one arm while his free hand was raised, hovering over her as though he were about to strike. “You’re so ungrateful!” Adam barked, his face twisted with rage. “I’ve done everything for you, and this is how you repay me? Sneaking around and calling him?”

She cowered slightly, her hands raised in a futile attempt to protect herself. “Adam, please,” she said, her voice breaking. “I didn’t mean—just calm down. You’re scaring Ellie.” Chris couldn’t stay silent any longer. “What the hell is going on here?” he demanded, stepping into the room. Adam spun around, his eyes narrowing dangerously at the sight of Chris. “What are you doing in my house?” he growled, clutching Ellie tighter. The baby whimpered, sensing the tension, and Adam barely seemed to notice. “I came to check on her,” Chris said, his voice steady despite the anger bubbling beneath the surface. “And it looks like I got here just in time. Put the baby down, Adam. Now.” Adam smirked, shifting Ellie slightly in his arms. “Oh, you think you’re going to play the hero? Walk in here and save her? You’ve got no idea what you’re messing with.” Chris took a step closer, his eyes locked on Adam. “I said put her down. You’re scaring her, and you’re scaring her mother. This ends now.”

Adam’s smirk faltered, his grip on Ellie tightening for a moment before he finally relented, setting the baby down in her playpen with a roughness that made Chris’s stomach turn. As soon as Ellie was safe, Chris stepped between Adam and her, positioning himself as a barrier. “She’s done with this,” Chris said firmly, his voice low but filled with conviction. “You don’t get to treat her like this. You don’t get to threaten her and the baby.” Adam glared at him, his fists clenching at his sides. “You don’t get to decide what happens in my house,” he spat. “She’s mine. Not yours. She doesn’t need you.” “She’s not yours,” Chris shot back, his voice rising. “She’s her own person, and she doesn’t deserve to be treated like this. You can’t keep her trapped here.” He turned to her, his expression softening. “You don’t have to stay, you know. You and Ellie can come with me. You don’t have to do this alone.” Tears filled her eyes as she looked at Chris, her body trembling. For the first time in weeks, she felt a flicker of hope—an escape from the nightmare she’d been living. But before she could respond, Adam lunged forward, shoving Chris hard.

“Get out of my house!” Adam roared. “You don’t belong here!” Chris steadied himself, standing his ground. “I’m not leaving without her,” he said firmly. “You’ve lost the right to call this your family.” Adam looked like he was ready to explode, but the sound of Ellie crying from the playpen cut through the tension. The baby’s wails filled the room, and for a moment, no one moved. Then she stepped forward, her voice trembling but strong. “I’m going with Chris,” she said, her eyes locked on Adam. “And if you try to stop me, I’ll call the police.” Adam’s face twisted in fury, but he didn’t say a word. Chris placed a protective hand on her back, guiding her toward Ellie. Chris gently picked up Ellie from the playpen, her cries beginning to subside as he held her close. His touch was calm and steady, his voice a soft murmur of reassurance as he cradled her. “It’s okay, little one. You’re safe now.” He turned to her, nodding toward the door. “Let’s get her to the car.” She followed him, her legs shaky but determined. As they neared the door, Adam’s voice cut through the tense silence. “You think this is over?” he spat, his tone dripping with venom. “You think you can just leave and everything will be fine? You’re making the biggest mistake of your life.”

She stopped in the doorway, turning to face him, her body trembling but her resolve firm. “No, Adam. The biggest mistake of my life was staying with you as long as I did,” she said, her voice steady despite the lump in her throat. “I’m done. You don’t get to control me, manipulate me, or scare me anymore. It’s over.” Adam’s face twisted with rage, but she held her ground, her voice unwavering. “You can say whatever you want, but I’m leaving with my daughter, and I’m not coming back. You don’t love me, Adam. You just love having power over me, and I’m done giving you that.” Chris, who had stepped outside with Ellie, reappeared in the doorway, his presence a silent reassurance. “She said it’s over, Adam,” he said firmly. “You need to accept that and let her go.” Adam glared at him, but there was something different in his eyes now—frustration, defeat, maybe even fear. For the first time, it seemed like he realized he wasn’t in control anymore. She didn’t wait for him to respond. Without another word, she turned and walked out the door, her steps growing stronger with each one. When she reached the car, Chris was already securing Ellie into the car seat, his movements careful and practiced. He looked up as she approached, his expression soft but filled with determination.

“You’re doing the right thing,” he said gently. “You’re stronger than you think.” She nodded, a single tear sliding down her cheek. “I just want to keep her safe. I want her to have the life she deserves.” Chris placed a hand on her shoulder, giving her a reassuring squeeze. “You’re giving her that now. And you’re not alone in this anymore.” She looked back at the house one last time, then climbed into the car, leaving Adam—and the life she thought she had to endure—behind. For the first time in years, she felt the promise of a new beginning.

✦-✦-✦-✦-✦-✦-✦-✦-✦-✦-✦-✦-✦-✦-✦-✦-✦--✦-✦-✦-✦

Authors Note: here's something that's not super angsty but it's sad, writing about abuse/domestic violence is a bit out of comfort but I had an anon ask for it (I think I accidentally deleted their ask whoops) but ENJOY BABES~

who wants a part two!?

Taglist: @mattsplaything @emely9274 @pvssychicken @mattsslutt @chrislilcumslvt @cupiidk1lls @loud-sturniolos @p14th0mps0n @3xclus1vel0v3r @bilssturns @nateismybf @chrissweetheart @jassturn @kaybug88 @kennastromboli @goingtojohnkramershouseee @matthewsroses @whore4chris @trevorsgodmother @sweetshuga @chrissdiorstar

[bimb0fy]

04; put me in a movie

pairings; luke castellan x hephaestus!reader

warnings; dark!luke, manipulation,

summary; lukes plan is only beginning, and you find yourself sucked into the middle of it.

word count; 1k words.

a/n; sorry this is late exam season is a bitch

masterlist!! | navigation!!

i. Mind games, don't leave me. come so far, don't lose me, it matters were you are. — when the sun hits; slowdive.

You sat down in your cabin, staring at the scrap book on your desk. You hadn't gone to work in ages now, your brother Alex was growing concerned. He knew something had happened but when he went to ask Luke, all that the other man returned was silence.

You didn't understand why it hurt you so much, not the choking but the words that he said to you.

Maybe it was the fact that when you were vulnerable, you told him the one thing you never wanted to remember.

You told him about your mom, how she died. How in her death bed she wanted everyone with her.

Everyone but you.

Your aunt told you it was because your mom didn't want you to see her at her weakest. That if you entered the room, it would become too real and no one wanted to stress out the dying woman.

But deep down you knew why.

You knew that deep down, she hated the monster you were.

No one wanted anything to do with your father, especially his ex wife, your mother.

Your father did love your mother, and she loved, for a while, she hated you because she believed that you were the reason he had left, but the moment you burned your favorite sweets, he appeared in your room, and he showed you what parental love was.

Luke hated that, he hated how easily it was for your father to reply to your cries, but when your mother found out, it infuriated her.

So when your mother heard about camp half-blood, she sent you away instantly.

That was were you met Luke. He was the one who greeted you to camp, who helped you get the hang of everything. That was when you fell for him.

He didn't remember these interactions and you couldn't blame him, he had yo take care of thousands of children, you were one of those who were a bother to him.

You heard a knock on the door, looking up to find Luke waiting for you. Your breathe hitched as he entered, he sat down, a comfortable distance between the two of you. He pushed a plate towards you, a smile on his face.

"I didn't see you at breakfast, since uhm." Luke mumbled as you took a bite from the mac and cheese. "How's the bruises?"

"They're healed. So I guess I'm fine." You muttered as Luke sighed, he sat up slowly, moving towards you before sitting down beside you.

You turned around to face him, it was Luke. Your Luke. He placed his hand onto your thigh, giving you a sympathetic expression before he sighed.

"I'm. I'm really sorry, about what happened." He stuttered out. You could see by the way his eyes were pleading that he truly was filled with remorse and guilt. The bright Luke castellan had changed, and you didn't understand why. "I. I didn't mean anything I said. I was just stressed and irritated and I took it out on you."

"I know." You hummed as you continued to eat your food, looking at the ground, a few tears leaving your eyes as he tusked, wiping them away.

"Don't cry mender, please. I. I really am sorry. Will you ever forgive me?" Luke pleaded, his eyes begging for forgiveness.

You wanted to forgive him, really you did, but you know that your father would never let you live that down.

Everyone at camp all wanted one thing, approval, and you had it so you couldn't mess up your chances at having a loving father for some boy.

But he wasn't any boy. He was yours. He was Luke, the man you thought you'd be with forever.

Maybe you were naive, maybe you just didn't understand what lobe actually was, but the way Luke held you, the way he always seemed to care about you, that was all you needed for now.

"I." You let out a breath as you turned to face him. You could see how Luke was waiting for your response. How he almost seemed. Anxious. "I forgive you Luke."

Your hand hesitantly found his, your rough hand intertwining his softer one. You would be lying if you said it didn't make you insecure, but Luke changed that, he changed so many things for you.

Maybe he did love you. That's what you thought, that's what you wish was the case, but he just needed you by his side during the war, he needed the most powerful woman he knew to win.

ii. she said, do you think you'll kill for me one day, yes, of course I will my darling.

You sat down, waiting at the docks for Luke. Little did you know, he was watching, waiting.

Kronos needed a blacksmith, and obviously, your name was the first he thought of.

To Kronos, you were Hephsaestus' most skilled daughter, to him, you were the love of his life. He was given a second chance, and his plans ruined him.

He knew he had to change you, you loved your father, he was one of the few he tried, but Luke knew he only tried because you were the one blessed with powers.

No one knew your strength, only you did. Luke would be lying if he said he wasn't curious. So, here started his plan.

He watched as Chris walked towards you, sitting next to you. He watched as your face shifted to disappointment as he told you how Luke couldn't make it.

"You know we've never really talked." Chris stated as you nodded, looking around. "So tell me about yourself."

"I don't know I guess. I've always been used to be what my father wanted I never like. Thought about it." You answered. You knew there was no point in lying, Chris was Luke's best friend and God be damned, you were tired of lying.

"That's harsh." Chris sighed as you chuckled. "Luke's sick by the way. He wanted me to give you this."

Chris took out a charm bracelet, one clearly bought from out of camp half-blood. You smiled as you put it on, staring at the charm bracelet.

Luke smirked from afar, the tracker was now planted. Curtesy of Kronos who gave him the spell after all. He felt dirty, feeding of you but he had to do it, it was his destiny, he was made for this.

He watched as Chris walked away and you turned to the ocean, the waves louder and harsher than usual.

You couldn't help but feel like it was a sort of warning from posiden, especially since you always loved the ocean, you often spared your chunks of food to posiden to let you be free.

You always wanted to live by the ocean, hell, you wouldn't complain if you lived on a boat, especially a yacht. You wanted to ignore the feeling, but it grew more and more everyone you looked away.

Maybe you should check up on Luke.

[weena-mercator]

Inbetween reblogging all the fun “unnecessary feelings day” stuff, I’d like to touch on the bigger part of what’s happening here.

I think that for the most part all the giddiness about it which produces all the fanart and other “gay gay homosexual gay” posts probably originates from the same way I see it… which is that it’s fun and silly to point at Miles “Gay Disaster” Edgeworth but also understanding that this line is really more like 70% about questioning his morals and place in the legal system and 30% about Phoenix (along with some deeply buried feelings he’s not ready to admit at all yet)

(admittedly I only got in Ace Attorney in 2019 and then didn’t get really into it until this year, so… apologies if this is all very obvious. But I guess new people are joining the fandom every day, so if you’ve been around a long time this is nothing new to you I’m sure - for others maybe they’re just now exploring this stuff)

Edgeworth is struggling with the fact that he’s now questioning everything he’s been taught to believe when it comes to the law and prosecuting. And why? Because of Phoenix.

Phoenix has opened his eyes to the fact that not all those who are deemed guilty by the police are actually guilty, that not everyone lies because they’re guilty and committed the crime, but perhaps they didn’t commit the crime and they lie for some other reason (they’re not guilty but worried the truth about something will make it look like they are, they want to protect someone, etc.).

“Unease… and uncertainty.”

Edgeworth is uncomfortable with acknowledging that his whole belief system is fracturing after Phoenix comes back into his life. He is absolutely not okay with feeling anything but certain. And sure, a lot of that belief system was probably born out of a) survival under MvK’s roof and b) some self-inflicted punishment because even though supposedly Yanni Yogi murdered his father - they still managed to be found not guilty, so he can’t help but wonder if that verdict was right, maybe Yogi really is not guilty because he himself might be the guilty one… He can’t know for sure, but the last thing he remembers is throwing the gun, the gunshot, a scream - it haunts him nightly. But the nightmares are reminder enough of his possible guilt, so he tries not to dwell on it during his conscious hours if possible, he’s got a job to do: get guilty verdicts for others. But he’s not going to say either of these reasons out loud for sure (at least not for a bit), so it’s easier to try to convince himself and others that he is following in MvK’s footsteps under the guise of the man who murdered my father was declared not guilty because of a flaw in the legal system so I will do whatever is in my power to ensure all those charged with a crime do not escape the punish of the law.

And as a cherry on top, who is the one bringing all of these feelings of unease and uncertainty to the surface? Phoenix Wright. A childhood friend he hasn’t seen since he lost his father. Someone he must have really cared about as a child, surely - there’s too much indication that they were very close for a while before Miles disappeared because MVK took him away, making their reunion all the more complicated for Edgeworth. Phoenix still sees him the way he did as children, and Edgeworth knows he’s anything but the same as the boy he was back then (or really, parts of him are still buried deep down but it will take a while before he’s ready to examine things further).

Whether you want to believe Phoenix and Miles had inklings of feelings stronger than friendship as children is up to your personal headcanon (I lean on the side of yes, because I’m a sucker for kid fluff and the story just gives this whole vibe of childhood best friends who got very close very fast and felt really strongly about each other, even if they were too young to understand/seek out romantic love - but they knew they really cared about each other a lot).

Phoenix seems as idealistic as ever to Edgeworth, and it’s too much to handle that Phoenix could still be trying to see Edgeworth as someone he doesn’t believe he is capable of being anymore - someone he hasn’t been for quite a long time.

I think Miles probably tried to hang on tightly to his memories of Phoenix (and to an extent, Larry) after his father died, because Phoenix was still out there somewhere. But eventually he had to push them down… bury his feelings because he couldn’t survive that way in the von Karma household. Feelings and relationships were only distractions.

Well… now Phoenix is back and largely responsible for this crisis of conscience that Edgeworth finds himself in. That’s the largest meaning behind the line.

But I don’t think it’s a stretch to still say, yes, the gay reading of it is not inaccurate either - just a smaller piece. Those feelings of nostalgia and caring about Phoenix are being stirred back up - he thought he had been able to successfully bury them, apparently not.

On top of everything else, his thoughts are going to be that he cannot handle dealing with feelings for Phoenix. He has not allowed himself to develop relationships with others beyond what is necessary for his job, and even his relationships with MVK and Franziska are not healthy by any standards. So yeah, some of that unease and uncertainty is about Phoenix specifically, not just what Phoenix has showed him, but also what Phoenix represents to him - a past that’s not only painful to remember, but also a time where he cared about and was close to Phoenix. But he’s not at all in the right headspace to try to deal with that, so he’s going to continue to try to pretend he’s not having these feelings.

I like to think the moment when Edgeworth really goes “oh shit I have feelings for him” comes later, at a point during Turnabout Goodbyes (I have my specific moment in mind - I actually did not even ship them hard by the “unnecessary feelings” line, it was more like haha silly gay lawyers that’s fun and later it became I depend emotionally on this homosexual ship)

Um anyways is that how most people also view this? Lol

Okay back to the fun reblogging for the celebrations.

[samgirl98]

Forgotten Demon Twin 4/?

Prev | Next

Damian crossed his arms. A part of him wanted to be angry at Danyal. How dare he lie to them? They wanted to ensure he was fine, and here he was, not telling them the whole truth.

Then, the guilt set in.

Damian wouldn’t have to have asked if he had checked up on his brother if he had remembered he had a brother. Why was he so angry? They were strangers to Danyal. Of course, he would keep his secrets close to his chest. He had lied to the League, knowing that it could result in his death. Lying to the famous ‘no killing allowed’ Batman must’ve been easier.

Danyal sat in midair, his legs crossed.

It was difficult to see Danyal as, was he a ghost? Was his brother dead?

“How did you gain powers,” Richard asked, “Neither Talia nor Bruce have the metagene.”

Danyal shrugged but didn’t answer.

“Listen, I appreciate that you guys care enough to come and visit me, even if it is years later,” he mumbled the last part. It still made the family flinch, “But I don’t owe you guys anything. I don’t have to explain the ifs, whys, and buts. Just because you guys feel guilty, you can’t just uproot my whole life and claim to care and want to take me away from the only loving family I have ever known.”

“I’m not in any danger here—”

“You’re a child hero without adult supervision,” Bruce said.

“—And I have everything under control.”

“You shouldn’t have to have everything under control, Danny. I understand the need to help, but you’re young. You deserve to have some help.”

“What makes you think I don’t have help?”

“Really, do your parents know you’re Phantom?”

Danyal said nothing.

“We want to help, Danyal,” Damian said.

A look of anger marred Danyal’s face.

“Help? Like when you said you would help me train, shoved a sword through my shoulder, and then pushed me from a tower?”

Damian flinched and ignored Tim’s judgmental look.

“That was wrong of me. I apologize for everything I’ve done to you.”

Danny was about to say something before stopping. He still wasn’t one hundred percent sure this wasn’t a trap and didn’t want to give Damian a reason to take him back. So far, it looked like the League was no longer involved, but Batman and his…children were an unknown factor. If he could convince them to leave…

“Daniel James Fenton, you are in big trouble, young man!”

Uh-oh. Irate older sister alert.

Every member of the Batfamily was surprised that an angry teenage red-haired girl had snuck up on them.

She was carrying a green and white baseball bat, and her eyes seemed to glow.

Duke noticed she had a weird aura around her, too. It wasn’t as strong as Danny’s, but still there.

“Who are you people? Why is a group of mostly adults meeting my younger brother in the middle of the night in a desolate park?”

The girl looked at everyone at them and gave a double take when she spotted Damian. She turned to Danny.

“Why are they here,” she asked loudly.

“Jazz, this is Bruce and Damian Wayne. They are my biological father and twin brother. Oh, and everyone else is Bruce’s adopted kids, I guess.”

Wow, he had Damian’s introduction skills.

She turned around and crossed her arms. The bat was still in her hands.

“I’ll ask again: why are you here?”

“I just found out about Danny and wanted to meet him?”

Jazz walked up to Bruce and, without hesitation, poked Bruce’s chest with the baseball bat.

“Oh, and you couldn’t have waited until morning and talked to our parents first? You just had to lure my baby brother away from the safety of his home and basically ambush him?”

“Jazz,” Danny whined, embarrassed.

“I’m just saying it how I see it, little brother.”

“There were some outside circumstances that would’ve made meeting,” Jazz interrupted Bruce by banging the end of the baseball bat on the floor. It left a crater.

“I don’t care about you’re ‘outside circumstances.’ Most of you are adults, and you have a minor with you at night without his legal guardian’s knowledge. If you want to talk to Danny, meet our parents first and set up a meeting like a normal person.”

“Jazz, you don’t understand who they are—”

“I don’t care if they’re the president. Rules exist for a reason. Now come, Danny, we’re going home. Tucker and Sam are worried.”

Danny detransformed and followed Jazz. The last thing he heard was the butler say, “I like her.”

He sighed. It was going to be a long ride back home.

____

Tim had yet to learn what happened.

One minute, he was introduced to the Demon Brat’s twin brother (who seemed more mellow than Damian). The next, they had been attacked by some creature that Danny beat in under ten seconds.

He knew Danny had been lying when he opened his mouth, and Cass had confirmed it. He hadn’t had time to interrogate the kid, though, before an angry red-hair, who reminded him a bit of Barbara, showed up and chewed Bruce out while holding nothing more than a baseball bat.

“Well, that was…interesting,” Duke said.

“I like her,” Jason said, “She stood up to Bruce.”

Bruce glared at Jason. It wasn’t often he got chewed out, and it had never been from a teenage girl. He didn’t like it.

“So, next course of action,” Tim asked.

“Tt, obviously we get Danyal out of this…situation. He shouldn’t have to deal with all of this alone.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea, baby bat.”

“Why not?”

“Danny seems to be attached to his adoptive family. He’s suffered a lot in the League. Don’t you think we should consider his feelings?”

The brat thought about it before deflating a little but said nothing.

“So, I repeat: what now?”

Bruce said nothing, not sure what to do.

Suddenly, the smell of earl grey tea was heavy in the air, and he felt the phantom hand of his late surrogate father.

He took a deep breath and said, “It’s time to meet the Fenton.”

[arcaneconfessions]

Actually,  I don't like the concept of Felicia because she oversimplifies the story and creates plot holes.

Now suddenly Vander didn't pick up two orphans because he blamed himself for the violence, and wanted it to stop. It's not because he saw how it affected the children of Zaun, and decided right there to make a change for the future.  But because he happened to know their mom (which then brings the question. If Felicia's kids are so important to him, why are they in the thick of things? You'd think they'd have them somewhere safer.)

Also, in season one act one, Silco didn't know the kids. And even ignoring that plot hole, it still muddies things up.  Now his arc isn't about learning to care for a child, and understanding how that kind of personal connection can change your perspective. Because, he already cared for them before his sad sad case of amnesia. 

So now it's about him caring about the girls, then not caring, then caring about Jinx again. That's not an arc, that's a meandering circle. 

Instead of the men bonding with the respective girls,  because of their own personality and history. Where Vander was dealing with his own guilt, and trying to attone. Where Silco saw his own trauma reflected in Jinx, and chose to guide her in the way he wished to be. It's now “Oh they know their mom, that's why!” Which is far less intriguing and character driven.

Speaking of, instead of their fallout- and Vander’s subsequential murder attempt- being about the widening gap of their ideologies, or plans. It's now been boiled down to “When she died, I lost my head”

Okay, but that's worse. You do get how this is worse, right. Instead of Silco being the thing “worse than enforcers” as said before. He was someone mourning his friend, just to get nearly murdered by his other friend who decided to blame it all on him. 

Then, we're left to actually try to figure out when this drowning attempt even happened, since we now confirmed it's during the day of ash. Are we to believe that Vander dropped his gauntlets (symbolically representing his path of non violence) picked up the girls, tucked them into bed...then took Silco down by the river? That kind of flies in the face of the characterization Vander gave himself in the letter, of it being a heat of the moment thing.  Ya know, for Felicia.

And is now a good time to mention that Vander appears younger in the drowning flashback,  than he did in the opening scene? I was led to believe it happened years before. Absolutely muddled.

And, when everyone just happens to know everyone else, then the world just feels smaller. Which is a shame, because the team behind season one made non champion characters, to avoid this very feeling.

Not everything is about shipping, sometimes people hate bad writing…because it's bad. Also, she's in a committed relationship with Connol, and even having his baby. In what way would anyone assume that she's “getting in the way” of any ship? (Unless you have a Connol ship you're passionate about, I guess?)

You're not gonna convince me that inventing a fridged woman to slap on top of Silco and Vander’s backstory is feminist in any way. 

.

[reticent-writer]

3yo reader is unconscious on the ground, about to be devoured by a demon when the trio and hashiras show up… only after they kill the demon, does reader start to wake up. and reader has been turned into a demon… would the trio and hashiras kill 3yo demon reader (after being too late to save reader’s family) who just acts like a regular human 3yo? or would they keep them alive out of their guilt? 3yo reader doesn’t even seem to be aware that they are a demon…and look up at the trio and hashiras with happy, trusting eyes and grabby hands for ‘uppies.’

demon slayer masterlist It's Obanai's time to shine

✿✼:*ﾟ:.｡..｡.:*･ﾟﾟ･**･ﾟﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*ﾟ:*:✼✿　　

The Kamaboko squad and Obanai were in on a mission in a small village, a family had gone missing. Two kids and the parents with a demon also appear around the same time. (Obanai was forced to go)

"There's a demon nearby be careful." Tanjiro warned Zenitsu and Inosuke.

Inosuke scoffs and says, "You don't have to tell me that I'm always more careful than you."

"That's great Inosuke." Tanjiro beamed. Inosuke didn't know how to feel about it and he didn't have time to figure it out before a raging demon came at him.

He dodged and cut the head off just in time. If he weren't the great boar king, he might've died.

"I found something!" Zenitsu called out. Inosuke and Tanjiro were quick to follow were the voice came from.

They found Zenitsu sitting with his back turned to them. He was cradling something in his arms.

"Is everything alright, Zenitsu?" Tanjiro asked cautiously approaching the lightning slayer.

"I don't know." He turned around slowly with you in his arms. Your eyes we're open and bloodshot and tears were pouring.

You had a cut on the side of your head that was healing in humanly fast.

"Everything feels weird" You croaked out.

You definitely weren't human anymore.

"Give them to me." Obanai finally broke his silence. Zenitsu didn't dare to disobey and handed you over to him.

"What happened?" he asked you.

"Momma and Papa were acting weird... Are they okay?"

None one answered.

Obanai took you to Shinobu thinking that she could help you. She couldn't and told Lord Ubuyashiki about your existence.

The corps leader summoned all the hashira to decide what to do with you.

"I'd say kill him. He hasn't killed anyone but who's to say he won't." Sanemi said without even seeing you.

You were hiding behind Ubuyashiki and his children.

"Don't be so harsh obanai, you haven't even seen them yet. Would they like to come out." Shinobu cooed. Afterall you were just a child.

You gripped the back of Kagaya's kimono.

Kagaya's son, Kiriya, patted your head, "It's okay, your safe here." He whispered and gently pulled you from your hiding spot until you were seated in front of him.

You looked at the new faces spotting Obanai, the only familiar face, and darted off towards him, not caring about the sun.

You immediately started to burn, Obanai acted fast and quickly took off his haori and shielded you away from the sun.

"Idiot." He sighed and cradled you in his arms. You were happy so I guess he was okay with it.

✿✼:*ﾟ:.｡..｡.:*･ﾟﾟ･**･ﾟﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*ﾟ:*:✼✿　　

I'm always come back - William afton

[ghost-proofbaby]

wishing you a festive period that is kind to you. I think about 24hours eddie and reader constantly - all the things and occasions he would want to make up for, having missed out spending them with reader. you know how this time of year can feel very nostalgic and a time for guilt and reflection to creep in.. sigh - I know they’d both want to make up for it 🖤

thank you, nonnie <3 i am wishing you the very same.

it truly would be. something in the december air is just naturally laced with guilt and eddie would be so far from being immune to it.

the first holiday season would be the worst, as everyone in the group just knows what to get you for gifts, but he realizes he doesn't know as much as they do about you. he'd have to ask about your favorite show, your favorite movies, your favorite albums. he can't just casually buy you a cute pullover for your favorite franchise like robin has - he didn't even know that that had been your favorite franchise until she'd excitedly showed him. not only that, but then there's the aspect of not only hearing now about traditions set in stone between you and the others, but watching them set into motion. movie nights that were apparently your favorite part of the season, a specific flavor of coffee from your favorite coffee shop that was seasonal only and he'd never caught on to. regardless of the holiday you celebrate, he wouldn't know; he wouldn't know if you preferred white christmas lights or colored, he wouldn't know what day of the year you burn yule logs, he wouldn't know the story behind your menorah gifted to you in your youth that you treat as fragile as crumbling ashes. all the little things, all the big things, and he's just lost.

he might ignore you at first without meaning to. start to recede into himself, lash out when he doesn't mean it, pick arguments without knowing the root of his sour mood. but when you finally confront him? when the two of you do what you do best, and have a truthful conversation?

oh.

oh it all clicks into place for him.

"who cares if you know those things?" you'd ask with a scrunched nose, carrying over trying to extravagantly wrap argyle's gift in a fashion that the shape completely derails him from actually guessing what you had gotten him.

"i care," and god. he'd sound desperate. broken. and it'd make you look up, a bit shocked, not expecting to find a broken eddie munson looking back at you, "i... fuck, i care about those things. i should know those things. if i hadn't been such a dick, i would know tho-"

and you'd interrupt him, so quickly, so fierce to stop him from going down that pathway, "parks and recreation."

he'd stand there so confused, blank face that slowly contorts into sheer befuddlement. "what?"

"my favorite show," you'd double down, "parks and rec. i also have a soft spot for gilmore girls, if we're keeping score. don't tell steve though. he spent weeks trying to convince me to secretly watch it with him, only to go and watch it with some chick he met on an app, so to get revenge i was hate watching it only to end up loving it."

and in one clean sweep, you've managed to accomplish two things he'd yearned for: knowledge of a basic fact, and a secret just between you two.

from there, it just avalanches.

you do away with the gift for now, giving him your full attention, sitting on the floor of the apartment and exchanging all those missed details. he tells you stories about holidays with wayne, you finally explain that god awful pair of faux diamond earrings you never wear but will never, ever get rid of. the two of you talk about the gifts you've wanted in the past but never received. talk about the favorite gifts you've been given. your favorite year for the holidays, when you were children and the magic was still there. maybe you let it slip how you miss that magic; the feeling of being a little kid and everything being more about the love and electricity in the air rather than the stress and pressure of the holidays.

"i want to wake up on christmas morning," you'd say, leaning back your head wistfully against the couch you'd sat up in front of, "and for it to feel like the movies again. you know? being giddy and oblivious and- i don't know. is that stupid?"

he'd shake his head, smiling softly, sharing that same sentiment.

"no, i get it. just... missing the magic."

naturally, eddie goes out of his way to give you the greatest gift of all - somehow, against all odds, he'd bring back the magic.

small things. when you bring up wanting to go out and see lights on the neighborhood lights, he's bundling you up in one of his sweaters and loading the two of you onto his bike to go slow crawl through the twinkling streets. even gives you his only pair of riding gloves, despite his hands freezing to the point of cherry red, just to let you enjoy it all comfortably. when there's a baking recipe you're interested in, he buys the ingredients on his way home, and you get so excited you cancel plans with the group to stay in with him and fail at it miserably. flour across both your cheeks, but it doesn't matter, because you're too busy laughing to notice the imperfections. you both try to say that milk helps the burnt cookies - it doesn't, but the softness in his eyes when he watches you embarrassingly snort on your glass at how terrible the taste is does. more home-cooked meals than the two of you have had in years, some tasting as divine as you remembered, and others being put away in a "better left alone" envelope.

in the end, it doesn't matter that robin was the one to get you the pullover, or that steve has tasted your family's 'award-winning' pie recipe before him. eddie's the one making you laugh as the clock strikes midnight, scolding you about being quiet or else the elves or some shit will hear you, as you just cackle louder and smack his chest, shutting him up with a kiss.

december air is a little bit sweeter after that year. a little less guilty, and a little bit more magical.