#but you could say that about her entire discography tbh

[goldennika]

can’t believe there are people out there who have never lived through the jaw dropping experience that is listening to Felt This Way and Stay Away back-to-back for the first time

[algae-tm]

WE CAN’T BE FRIENDS

Oscar Piastri x Reader

Author’s Note: there’s a lot going on in this fic and I should’ve probs split it into two so I could do the storyline justice, but I’m nothing if not slightly lazy so that never would’ve worked. If you notice any mistakes please do let me know! Rn it’s 2 am and my visions blurred so I’m gunna post and hope for the best

I’m actually gunna recommend songs for this fic!!tbh just listen to Willow’s entire discography (apart from that one song with MGK) and if you want to give unholy a listen it is by Hey Violet (though I don’t know if I like the song or not, but it says what I needed the fic to say) and of course All I Wanted Was You is paramore! I hope you enjoy

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

MESSAGES (OSCAR AND Y/N)

INSTAGRAM

youruser just posted

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youruser: thank y’all for the love on unholy, the last slide is how I feel now that I’ve been let out the house!! Hot gal y/n is back!

view all comments

user1: OH WE ARE SO BACK!

user4: IS RHIS CONFIRMATION ?? IS THIS CONFIRMATION?? IS THIS BREAK UP CONFIRMATION

— youruser: girl, if the song wasn’t confirmation enough idk what is

sza: welcome back y/n the streets have been waiting for your return

— youruser: tell the streets I’ll get back to them, I have other plans

— oscarpiastri: 👀 👀

— youruser: gtfo

— landonorris: trouble in paradise?

user32: who’s the song about???

— landonorris: yeah y/n who’s the song about??? 🤨🤨

— youruser: I will block you norizz

— landonorris: oh shiver me timbers

oscarpiastri: amazing song y/n! So proud to call you my best friend

— user22: bro 😭 😭

— user32: either brother doesn’t like her at all or he just has no rizz

— user44: god the friendzone must hurt extra hard after she just released that song about you.

MESSAGES

TWITTER

MESSAGES

TWITTER

INSTAGRAM

youruser posted a photo

liked by lewishamilton, oscarpiastri, jonbatiste and 5,327,439 others

youruser: thank you all so much for all the love over the last month! I’m so glad you not only watched Queen Charlotte but that you loved it! As you all probably know I haven’t released much art in the last three years, but I never stopped making and art is forever. I’m now just so glad I can now share it with all of you. My new album empathogen is out now on all streaming platforms. Some familiar tracks on there, some not so familiar. Hope you guys enjoy!

view all comments

lewishamilton: 👏🏿👏🏿

— youruser: 🖤🖤

user10: can’t believe unholy isn’t on the album???

— user11: I mean I kinda can… all the other songs have much deeper meanings and the sounds are so much more complex…

— user13: that’s what I was thinking, unholy is giving forever 21 changing room, whilst the album is like, masterpiece level shit

—user17: thank god I’ve been arguing with people on twtr all morning about this,

— user32: it’s never that deep…

oscarpiastri: I’m in awe of what your mind can create 🧡

— youruser: couldn’t do it without my forever muse

— user21: 🤨🤨🤨🤨

— user32: y’all are we seeing this??

— user45: WHAT IS HAPPENING IN THE HOUSE OF COMMONS????

— user67: lord help me I’m about to read too much into an interaction on the internet. But him adding a heart. Her not adding a heart. I’m drawing conclusions

— user76: please stop drawing conclusions 😭

jonbatiste: so much talent for someone so young, keep flourishing y/n

— youruser: thank you Jon for all your help 🖤

MESSAGES (OSCAR AND Y/N)

INSTAGRAM

youruser just posted

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youruser: I bagged myself an f1 driver y’all! I hear they’re in high demand good thing I got you, was scared I’d have to settle for Lando Norris.

view all comments

oscarpiastri: this is not the caption we agreed on…

— youruser: oopsie daisy… I’m just a girl?

— oscarpiastri: MY girl

— youruser: 🤤🤤 say it again

landonorris: now why am I in this??

— youruser: you saying you wouldn’t like to date me?? 🤨😔😟🙁☹️

— landonorris: What no I’m sure you’d be a joy to date

— oscarpiastri: hey watch yourself Lando that’s my girlfriend

— landonorris: I mean of course I would never date her

— youruser: ☹️☹️

— oscarpiastri: so you’re saying there’s something wrong with my girl Norris? Why wouldn’t you like to date her

— landonorris: I’m so confused

oscarpiastri just posted

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oscarpiastri: making up for lost time, at least we have til the end of it

view all comments

user32: oh… his caption just called me single in 45 different languages

— user21: the difference between his and y/n’s captions is what had me cackling

youruser: can’t wait to spend eternity with you,

— oscarpiastri: unbelievably in love with you

— alex_albon: 🤮 gross

— youruser: @lilymhe come get your man

— lilymhe: @alex_albon why is showing affection gross albon? 🤨🤨🤨

logansargeant: I’m taking credit for this

— landonorris: hey now it was a team effort

— alex_albon: this is me erasure

— youruser: thank you all 🫶🏿 you could’ve done it like 4 years earlier but still thank you!

••••••••••••••••••••��•••••••••••••••••••••••

TAGLIST

@forevercaffeinated-lee

@callsignwidow

@a-beaverhausen

@emryb

@c0deincrazy

@dontworryaboutitokie

@c-losur3

@chuxk-lerclerk

@silkenthusiasts

@ietss

@sp1rl

[raguonmynieceandnephew]

EPIC THE MUSICAL ACT ONE SONGS RANKED BY ME

The first act is out and recency bias towards saga 5 has passed. let's go lesbians

20 - POLYPHEMUS

I would like to express that just because she is last she isn't bad, ok? The worst Epic song is better than your fave's entire discography, let's not get it twisted. That being said, Polyphemus is by far the weakest for me. It's just too slow, and like, of course it is, it's the build up for the plot defining moment of the show. It has to be slow to contrast with the explosion that will come right after. But it's soooo much and so not the vibe for me. Still love her tho

19 - LUCK RUNS OUT

Not gonna lie, this song is only this low because they changed the "We could be caught of guard" verse. It was SOOOOOOO much better than the melodic version, like, that was a giga downgrade it really upset me and my homegirls ngl

18 - WARRIOR OF THE MIND

Again, a queen, a trendsetter, a trailblazer, we love athena, but her songs in the beginning of the musical are kinda not my thing. Warrior of the mind sounds so weird to me in its saga, i struggle making it fit in my head.

17 - STORM

Wait, wait hear me out, hear me out! Don't shoot! It lacks flavor. It lacks a spice, it lacks something it. I really wasn't feeling it much in the tiktok teaser days of this one, and while the full release is good (again, there is no such thing as a bad epic song) storm left me wanting more, not in a too good of a way. It felt like there was something that needed to be there, a je ne sais quoi, idk

16 - SURVIVE

I think i might get doxxed for this list, but it is my truth. TBH we reached a point in which i have no qualms with the songs. Survive is definitely not bad but like, it gets outshone by literally everyone else in the list so it goes here.

15 - THERE ARE OTHER WAYS

Ooooooh boy. I hate that she is so low. I do, I really do. The second verse just doesn't do it for me as much as the first, and it sucks because the intro and the duet are a fucking masterclass.

14 - PUPPETEER

The numbers are treatcherous because, yes 14 is in the lower spectrum but like, we are already in No Skip territory. I didn't think I would like Puppeteer but the intro with Ody and Eurylochus is simply perfection. The feels, the almost love confession that was cut off, the wordplay is just INSANE, love her

13 - THE UNDERWORLD

What do I need to say about Underworld that wasn't already said in every corner of this website? Putting your IRL mom to play Anticlea is VILE, 10/10 fuck you jorge

12 - KEEP YOUR FRIENDS CLOSE

She was gagging me since tiktok. Perfection. Bonus points for being Penelope and Telemachus first appearances in the show (SHOW ME THE TWINK, JORGE). Also, "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODYSSEUS OF ITHACAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

11 - MY GOODBYE

I talked shit about athena's sons in warrior of the mind and I was about to put this in 16th place wtf, it didn't feel right so i did a re-listen and holy shit this song is phenomenal, omg THE JUST A MAN LINE? CINEMA

10 - OPEN ARMS

Steven Dookie, the man that you are. This song is so fucking good, holy shit. It's cute, and fun, It's everything. It encapsulates why the first quarter of a musical is always my favorite, because of all the setups, the motifs, the weapons it creates to shred our hearts

09 - REMEMBER THEM

She is perfection, she is serving pauleira, she is giving me everything I want. By far the best outro in the show, argue with your mothers.

08 - FULL SPEED AHEAD

The harmonies, the character intros, the simplicity, the naïveté, the HARMONIES, YES, AGAIN THE HARMONIES. Troy saga best saga, and if you disagree you can eat my ass

07 - DONE FOR

This song is what truly hooked into epic so Just a Man could reel me in. The drama, the irony, the implicit horniness, the fact that i found out they were dating IRL around the time this was announced, truly divine (ha)

06 - NO LONGER YOU

Wig? Snatched. This was my favorite song for a while, I even auditioned for it lmao. Deffo my favorite one to sing, still. Mason DEVOURED this track, and the prophecy? Odysseus's scream? Setting up Monster, AKA one of the best things in this show? Gagged me, your honor.

05 - THE HORSE AND THE INFANT

We are reaching greatness here you guys. The duet with Zeus gives me chills every time. I just know this + Just a Man as INTROS (REALLY LIKE, THIS IS THE INTRO) are gonna make pussies throb and ppl cry in the theater

04 - WOULDN'T YOU LIKE

Hermes is my favorite character in the show, and this (and Dangerous) are my most anticipated songs EVER. The tiktok snippets really did it for me.

03 - MONSTER

I mean, come on. Do I even have to say anything? When he quoted Poseidon. The venting about all he lost, THE CONFIRMATION THAT HE DID, IN FACT, KILLED THE BABY. HE BECOMING THE MAN TIRESIAS SAW IN HIS PROPHECY. I MEAN, COME ON

02 - RUTHLESSNESS

Chills. Literal chills. When this song dropped I was INSUFFERABLE. Ask anyone close to me. She was on repeat for WEEKS. Steven Rodriguez's voice is so fucking insane, so fucking SEXY (I ain't afraid to say it bitch, that man can get it). But like, Poseidon as a character, Odysseus being an idiot, "Ruthlessness is mercy upon ourselves" like HOLY SHIT. And now, all i can think about is how Get in The Water will sound in his voice. Just thinking about it gives me chills. I just know he is going to devour it.

01 - JUST A MAN

Remarkable, showstopping, absolutely the best song ever made. The lyricism, the production, the poetry, vocal performance, I really don't have much to say because it's not needed. All of my favorite moments in this soundtrack, unreleased songs included, are moments in which this song is referenced.

The "Monster" chants in The Underworld and in Monster, "after all you're just a man" in My Goodbye, the entire song of "Monster" is he becoming the Monster he is asking about in this song, like, DO YOU GUYS UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH I LOVE THIS SONG? My life's dream is to go to broadway once to see this fucking song live, and i know it will be life changing. Just a Man is the most beautiful thing ever.

[fuck-you-upmusicbracket]

Searching For Former Clarity (Against Me!)

And in the journal you kept by the side of your bed/You wrote nightly an aspiration of developing as an author/Confessing childhood secrets of dressing up in women's clothes/Compulsions you never knew the reasons to/Will everyone you ever meet or love/Be just a relationship based on a false presumption?/Despite everyone you ever meet or ever love/In the end, will you be all alone?

"Searching for a Former Clarity is about the process of dying. It's the closing track to the album, and it shares a theme with the opening track, but while Miami uses disease and dying as a way to talk about the city metaphorically, Searching for a Former Clarity is much more personal. It's also partly autobiographical. Laura Jane Grace wouldn't come out for another seven years, although if I'm remembering right she was convinced that this song would immediately out her to everyone. (I could be thinking of a different song from the same era. It's kind of a running theme in her music.) A while back I saw an old video of her performing this song, when it was still new and she still wasn't out. It felt wrong to see that version of her, honestly (I'm old enough that I should have been a fan in the 2000s but I'd never heard of Against Me until a couple years ago), but it also amazes me just how much *better* she looks now. She looked so much older then, and unbelievably more miserable, than she does now. I hate that she had to live like that for so long, but I think about that contrast every time I hear the song now. Honestly, with that in mind, I never want to hear anyone saying shit about how they are glad someone suffered so that they could Make Art(TM) about it. Fuck that. Don't get me wrong, I love this song and most of Against Me's discography, but I'd willingly give all of it up if it could somehow retroactively mean that Laura Jane Grace didn't have to have the shitty life experiences that led to it. Yes, a lot of art comes from suffering, but people shouldn't have to fucking suffer for art. I've had some experiences lately that forced me to think about my mortality a bit more seriously than usual. If I died today, there would be an extensive record of my gender, and my complex feelings about gender, on various mostly anonymous twitter and tumblr and reddit accounts. If I died today, nobody who knows me would know the name I chose for myself. Not that I'm a historical figure (I'd probably be entirely forgotten in a decade tbh) but speculation about my gender would be *at most* someone's conspiracy theory based on poorly-sourced and badly-interpreted speculation. I'd be buried as a man, I'd be remembered as a man, I'd be forgotten as a man. That was my choice. I have my reasons for making it. I don't know if it is right or wrong or even if the concepts of "right" and "wrong" are the right ones to use when thinking about it. I'm still going to have feelings about it every chance I get. Searching for a Former Clarity is a pretty good way to get them. Emma. That is the name that I chose."

Am I Awake (They Might Be Giants)

When I get through this part/Will the next one be the same/Will I be wondering/If I'm awake?/These are not the clothes I had on when I went to bed/And something else besides my hair is growing from my head/And when I close my eyes it looks the same as when I open them again/Am I awake?

"Man I don't know what exactly about this song gets me so hard but it just makes me wanna get up and stim and think about my blorbos and their trauma. it also just speaks to me as a person with memory and identity issues, it really outlines the dissociation and confusion i feel when i don't remember something and/or can't grasp what i'm feeling. it also has a sort of inception vibe to it? or maybe groundhog day? The strange vocal samples and frantic drums and fast bpm with the really slow vocals on top is just soooo good. really really good song"

[s0litaire-y]

list five songs you’ve been enjoying recently- thank you @vroomvroom-mfs for the tag i luvvv music!!!

don’t hurt yourself- beyoncé. had this on repeat while getting ready for prom and i think that’s the only reason i didn’t give up on my makeup and just stay home. ITS SO GOOD!!! i will not lie i don’t listen to her music very much even tho i love her which yeah i know i am horrible i am sorry 😞 but this one is very good☝️i love it

she- tyler the creator. this was also on repeat while getting ready 🙏 there’s just something about it that scratches my brain just right. the drums and the instrumental stuff ughhhhh i just. yeah.

loyalty feat. rihanna- kendrick lamar. i’ve been listening to a lot of kendrick lamar’s music recently and i really like it he’s one of the few artists where i’ve listened to their entire discography on purpose (the others being mitski, lucy dacus, and fiona apple). he’s just one of the greatest ever and i love his voice he’s so talented lyrically and vocally!

maneater- daryl hall & john oates. ok this is very different from the rest of the list i think but like. it’s ok! i love how jazzy and fun it is to listen to and i will admit i only listened to it at first bcs i watched that one jennifer lawrence movie but i love it!

all mine- brent faiyaz. yeah idk what to say other than it scratches my brain and it’s sexy so like! what else could you want from a song 🤷 his voice is so good i can’t even and the instrumental thing is really cool tbh

idk who to tag but if you wanna do this you can just say i tagged you lol

[stealthily]

What kind of music do you think Vi and Cait would listen to?

Ooh, this is a fun question to think about, thank you!! 

• Okay, so, Caitlyn.  I feel like Cait is a bit of a sap and has a lot of soft pop/alternative stuff in her library.  She’ll listen to anything from top chart singers, to little indie artists she finds and supports-- but her favorite genre of music?  Is just about anything that makes her feel wistful tbh.  (listen,,, after that shower scene you cannot convince me that Caitlyn doesn’t listen to music solely to Yearn™)

But really, Caitlyn likes any music that tells a story, and she pays attention to every lyric.  If she finds a song she really likes, she looks up their entire discography and history of the band, and she always buys physical albums of her favorite artists.   All her playlists are super organized and specific to mood, genre, etc.  She has a playlist full of instrumentals for when her mind is too busy delving into her work to focus on any lyrics, a playlist for when she’s disagreeing with her parents, a playlist for when her chest grows tight with just how much she’s longing to do more, more, more in the world, and needs that extra bit of inspiration in the form of music.  (Oh, and she definitely listens to a healthy dose of Tegan and Sara, too.  I don’t make the rules.)

• Vi has like, a ton of rock and punk and not-quite metal that she listens to most frequently when she’s working out, so she loves high-energy songs that have a fire behind them.  Unlike Cait, Vi doesn’t know jack shit about most of the bands themselves and Does Not Care To.  Any newer music she finds is usually because Ekko introduced her to it, and they’ll often bond over songs they both like.  (She doesn’t quite “get” the music Powder used to listen to, but she still makes sure to keep a playlist of those songs, just for her.  Just in case.)

The exception to her “songs you could punch God to” taste in music is the “Dad Rock™ through the ages” playlist Vi has on rotation because she says it reminds her of Vander, and not because she actually enjoys blasting Bruce Springsteen when she’s driving by herself— nope, of course not.

(And maybe if you search hard enough there are also a few incredibly cliche self-indulgent pop songs buried in a secret playlist that if you found she’d have to kill you, actually.)

• Their music kind of... bleeds together once they start dating.  Playlists that are shuffled songs from vastly different music tastes played one after another, and Caitlyn thinks it should be jarring, but it just... isn’t, because it’s so uniquely them.  Vi doesn’t think much of it because that’s just what she does, she weaves little pieces of those close to her into the fabric of her own heart.  But even so, Vi doesn’t really consider there being any deeper purpose behind the lyrics of songs Caitlyn listens to, until one day she makes an offhanded comment about “I added this song because it made me think of you” and Vi’s heart immediately swoops in her chest at the idea.  (And maybe suddenly the sappier music in their combined playlist isn’t just for Cait, anymore.)

[hoforwonho]

lovelyz & monsta x (any reason to get you talking about your faves ehehe) <3

Thank u💖💖💖

Lovelyz: I STAN literally one of three lovelyz fans on here, and i'm rabid

favorite member / bias line: Mijoo, Kei, Ryu Sujeong. All for fairly different reasons. I think Mijoo & Kei are tied for 1, but Sujeong is SO close. Mijoo's a great entertainer, she's hilarious and literally so gorgeous. Love her stage presence. Kei has my fave voice in kpop, I could listen to her sing literally anything. Sujeong has my fave song - Tiger Eyes is a BOP. And her voice is so nice and distinct! She also covered a Baekhyun song, idk if you'll like her take on it but

which member I’d fight (& why):

None. I couldn't do it lmao

favorite song(s):

Obliviate, Wag-Zak, Twinkle, Dream in a Dream, For You... Genuinely love most of their discography. Fall in Lovelyz & Unforgettable are my fave albums, though.

favorite thing about the group:

THEY SING! THEY'RE SINGERS! Not every girl group needs a rapper and it shows.

something i’d like to see from them:

Literally anything, I miss them lol

Monsta X: I stan!

favorite member / bias line:

Was Wonho, now I'd say Kihyun/Shownu

which member I’d fight (& why):

... Changkyun. I just need to.

favorite song(s):

Their entire The Dreaming album, Shoot Out, Oh My, Got Me In Chains, Autobahn.... Monsta X has a lot of good music, too tbh

favorite thing about the group:

Their music slaps severely like. Shoot Out didn't have to go that hard but it did.

something i’d like to see from them:

... Better music :\ I didn't really like their last comeback tbh I kinda want to see them experiment with concepts

[whatiwillsay]

off topic - let’s talk about gaylena 👀

selena gomez is one of taylor’s oldest and bestest friends and given that she is in the 22 liner notes, a huge part of taylor’s life, and maybe fruity herself it seems like possibly we don’t talk about her here at the blog enough!

i don’t want to do a timeline of selena and taylor’s friendship - you can read more about that here, but they met back in the day when they were both dating jonas brothers and to me this idea of finding a real friendship in the midst of these contrived promances is pretty adorable.

ofc most of y’all think taylor is a fruit basket but i think there’s a good chance that selena is too!  i’m not saying she is for sure but y’all know me.  i’’m here to make a compelling case that everyone and their dog is gay so let’s gooooo! 

Part I - At least one fake rs!  

Selena “dated” Taylor Lautner in 2009 and he’s definitely gay.  Of course, that doesn’t mean she is, it could just be PR, but y’all know I gotta note everything!  We stan our fruity bffs dating the same gays 😍

Part II - Selena x cara delevingne

i feel like there’s a chance they met through taylor but everyone in that squad adjacent circle knows one another.  cara dated michelle rodriguez for the first half of 2014 and then got with annie clark in March 2015 but it feels like it’s possible something has gone on between her and Selena from summer 2014 - early 2015? ...maybe something casual on and off a bit?

August 2014 - Steamy pics surface in Saint-Tropez, France

Selena and and a freshly single Cara vacation together in part to celebrate Selena’s 22nd birthday.

They party together and look cozy!

Pictures such as this surface and spark rumors around the two:

Selena apparently loves the rumors and gushes about being shipped with Cara.

Quote:

You say Selena drag queens were the true measure of success for you. But isn’t it true that you’re not truly famous until you’ve been the subject of a gay rumor? And last year, the tabloids had a field day with photos of you and Cara Delevingne. I’ve made it!

How did you react to those rumors? Honestly, I loved it. I didn’t mind it. Especially because they weren’t talking about other people in my life for once, which was wonderful. Honestly, though, she’s incredible and very open and she just makes me open. She’s so fun and she’s just extremely adventurous, and sometimes I just want that in my life, so I didn’t mind it. I loved it.

Notice she doesn’t deny them?  Now of course she could just be being cool, if she freaked out about it that might be even weirder but hey, it’s still kind of interesting.

Then she admits to questioning her sexuality???

Have you ever questioned your sexuality? Oh, I think everybody does, no matter who they are. I do, yeah, of course. Absolutely. I think it’s healthy to gain a perspective on who you are deep down, question yourself and challenge yourself; it’s important to do that.

(Selena btw, this is cool and all, but not everybody questions their sexuality, maybe you’re just gay 👀)

November 1 - LACMA Art + Film Gala 

they even left the event together 👀

and they hung out earlier that day as well:

They were seen the next day partying for Kendall Jenner’s bday singing to her:

a few weeks later Cara tweets Selena’s lyrics!

In December 2014 they are travelling together in texas:

in january 2015 they get cozy at the golden globes together!

and they leave together again:

January 19th/20th a bunch of gay nonsense happens

They post this gay shit with matching shoes and linked fingers:

then they say this to one another:

Enty says they were hooking up!

then we don’t get any more content that i can find for about six months! perhaps they had a fling from summer 2014-jan 2015 and then it ends, Cara gets with Annie in March?  Then after half a year apart Selena and Cara resume a friendly relationship?  Perhaps!  Selena is seen with Justin a bit off and on during this time but this was in their Style/Heat Death Era imo (tbh i probably shouldn’t give a hetty pairing including Justin that designation 🤢but y’all get what I’m saying - it’s fully possible Selena was hooking up with both of them!

Now I’m not super familiar with Selena’s discography so y’all lmk if I’m missing anything major - lyric wise that point to her not being straight.

Selena’s album Revival that comes out after this relationship has a few songs with some vibes, even though I get the feeling a lot of it is probably about Justin, allow me to reach.  The title track could be translated as someone coming to terms with their sexuality (among other things):

I feel like I've awakened lately The chains around me are finally breaking I've been under self-restoration I've become my own salvation Showing up, no more hiding, hiding The light inside me is bursting, shining It's my, my, my time to butterfly

Good for you, imo, is too sexy to be about a man even if it’s not super queer lyrically it’s a vibe ok?

Me & My Girls might be a bestie anthem a la 22 (oh wait, no 22 was gay too) but I mean...could be about a girl gang of lesbians too!

And if we want it, we take it If we need money, we make it Nobody knows if we fake it You like to watch while we shake it I know we're making you thirsty You want us all in the worst way But you don't understand I don't need a man 

Quinn Fabray indeed!

Nobody feels probably like a retrospective on Justin 🙄but...there is a hint of sapphic craving in there!  Saying this particular lover loves them differently than everyone is a bit 👀 plus this stanza:

No oxygen, can barely breathe My darkest sin, you've raised release And it's all because of you, all because of you And I don't know what it is, but you've pulled me in No one compares, could ever begin To love me like you do And I wouldn't want them to

Is Perfect about some bitch Justin started dating?  Probably but bear with me here this song is actually pretty fucking gay.  Gay enough that I’m gonna add it to one of my gay playlists.  Could this song actually be about Cara moving on to Annie?

Ooh, and I bet she has it all Bet she's beautiful like you, like you And I bet she's got that touch Makes you fall in love, like you, like you

I can taste her lipstick and see her laying across your chest I can feel the distance every time you remember her fingertips Maybe I should be more like her Maybe I should be more like her I can taste her lipstick, it's like I'm kissing her, too And she's perfect And she's perfect

Part III - Selena x Julia Michaels

Julia Michaels is a singer/songwriter known for her song Issues.  I don’t know her sexuality but she at the least has gay vibes!  It seems they met around this time perhaps because Julia wrote on Revival.

They have a friendly enough friendship for a few years, liking one another’s posts on IG from time to time, posing for a photo a time or two and then they seem to get swept up into this very intense friendship in 2019.  They write some music together and Julia goes whole hog in promoting the shoe brand Selena is hawking this time 😭

2019 - The Superior Sapphic Jelena Timeline:

It starts, for some reason with a lot of shoe promotion:

chill, chill

more shoes

but more gayness?

this homo shit

ok...

Then we go into the REALLY GAY NOVEMBER OF 2019:

Then they perform together:

And...actually kiss...on the mouth on stage???

Sure it’s just a peck but still...if that were a guy people would say they were dating.  

Somehow kissing on the mouth isn’t the gayest thing these girls do over this period because these fucking dykes got matching tattoos.  I’ve read enough Larry blogs to know this actually means they’re secretly married.  All jokes aside this is fruity behavior. 

From their IG stories:

Selena gets Julia a very nice christmas gift:

Covid sets in and content drops off but god damn!  It’s possible they just had an intense friendship but if a man and a woman collabed on music together, kissed in public, and got matching tattoos everyone would say they were dating!

Selena, as far as I can find, didn’t have any public boyfriends around this time so who are some of these love songs about?

Rare comes out in January 2020 and perhaps has some gayish songs?

Don’t tell me why but boyfriend lowkey, has a gay vibe.  Don’t ask me to explain it but it’s just the musicality of it.

Crowded Room could be a love song for Julia?  (or by Julia for Selena, since they’re collaborators?)

Baby, it's just me and you Baby, it's just me and you Just us two Even in a crowded room Baby, it's just me and you, yeah

These are general gay vibes, our secret moments in a crowded room tease

It started polite, out on thin ice 'Til you came over to break it I threw you a line and you were mine

It would have started out polite between them, since they worked together for years before whatever 2019 was happened.  And throwing someone a line first of all makes Selena sound like the aggressor but also “throwing someone a line” could be a reference to writing songs together.

Yeah, I was afraid, but you made it safe I guess that is our combination Said you feel lost, well, so do I So won't you call me in the morning? I think that you should call me in the morning If you feel the same, 'cause

Lots of people are afraid at the beginning of a gay rs.  Treacherous tease 👀

In summation!

Selena does gay stuff like fantasizing ab kissing other women in her music, getting very touchy with famous dykes on vacay, hangs out with Taylor Swift, has chronic mental health issues, dated a jonas brother and a twilight gay, has admitted to questioning her sexuality, and loves being shipped with women.  Is she gay?  I don’t know!   But all she’s missing from her celesbian bingo card is a suspiciously intense friendship with a Glee Cast member! What do you guys think?  Selena fruity or just weird?

Edit to add: so apparently I missed an entire ship and Selena supposedly acted really gay all the time with her backup dancer Charity Baroni.  Exposing SMG has posted a lot about all that.

Also Selena has been cast in a gay role! edit to add: @bisluthq went and found this for me - julia is indeed a fruit queen

[sunflouwerhabit]

i've been asking ppl who pop up on my tl this:

THINGS YOU COULD TALK ABOUT FOREVER GO!

HELLO HELLO !!!!!! i was on vacation last week and am so behind on asks but i’m also so, so, so excited to answer this question !!! i have loads of hyper-fixations over the years which means i am an encyclopedia of a very wide range of incredibly niche things 😭

OKAY OKAY LETS BEGIN:

1) louis, harry, the boys (anything ranging from the band’s discography to their solo works to funny moments to fan relations and everything in between. i’ve been in this fandom since 2012. the knowledge and the love runs deep. they are a part of me. i never shut up about them).

2. i’m an historian in training with a specialization in twentieth century central european, jewish history, soooo i can absolutely talk your ear off about a wide range of subjects pertaining to it. (and really any historical topic, tbh. i’ve spent my entire life loving history <3)

3. TAYLOR SWIFT (strong suits include the evermore album- i have a “it’s time to go” tattoo!!!!- and red, as well as speak now and rep. her music literally raised me)

4) LITTLE MIX. i fucking love little mix

5) baseball, baseball, baseball <3 especially cleveland baseball

6) i will always promote the ohio agenda (i am essentially an ohio propagandist. i romanticize the fuck out of my home. i love it sm)

7) WRITING. <3 i spend an insane amount of time writing, whether fics or poems or stories, and my mind is constantly working on plot points no matter where i am. i never stop writing. i love talking story structure and the writing process and learning what peoples favorite works are and what their favorite things they’ve ever written are. i adore writing. it is my favorite art form and my favorite way to spend time

8) coffee, tea, caffeine !!!

9) places i’ve traveled (i’m very much a cringey “i studied abroad and it totally changed my life” kinda gal, but it’s okay because i OWN it)

10) my job. i work at a high school and love it. when i need a conversation starter, i talk about silly things my students did. they’re amazing. i love working there. it’s the best

thank you so so much for this question !! it’s so fun to think about and i probably have more i could say, but this is a good top 10. have a great day ❤️

PLUS HERE IS A BONUS: i have two bunnies and i literally talk about them 24/7. once you meet me, you’ll know within 5 minutes about these babies. they are my favorite subject. i adore them. LOOK HOW CUTE

[na-klar]

You're a K-Pop fan? What's your favorite group or who do you listen to? If you don't mind me asking🙈

oh please, always ask me about kpop, i love talking about it lmao

okay, so. my favorite group - my ult group - is exo. they are the reason i got into kpop at all. my friend showed me a video of chanyeol performing all of me and i swear i fell in love at first sight. i was obsessed with chanyeol and watched every video on youtube i could find, and eventually got into his group exo too. call me baby was an integral part of me falling in love with exo as quickly and fiercely as i did and therefore will always have a special place in my heart.

tbh i've never loved any group or musician quite as much as exo, they're one of the most talented and well-balanced groups in kpop in my opinion and they have some of the best vocalists in the entire world. like. jongdae??? baekhyun??? jongdae AND baekhyun (that's my fav cover from them btw)??

not to mention how impeccable their discography is, no matter if group or solo... literally no one is touching them imo 😭these are some of my fav songs (w/ youtube links so y'all can enjoy these masterpieces too and i URGE you to do so!!! your life will change for the better): been through, she's dreaming (THIS SONG I COULD WRITE WHOLE DISSERTATIONS ABOUT IT), gravity (this is exo's best song of all time in my very humble but very right opinion), baby you are, groove, tempo, sweet lies, unfair (sexy santa baekhyun edition)

my 2nd fav group is red velvet, i love them SO much i can't even bring it into words. yeri is like my fav idol of all time and i have an embarrassingly huge crush on her lmao. red velvet's discography is also just... chef's kiss

then i also absolutely adore shinee, they're my comfort group you could say, i love everything about them and married to the music is one of the best kpop songs of all time; 1 of 1 probably the most flawless album of all time. also i saw taemin live and i still haven't recovered

(as you can see i'm very much into sm groups lmao, i'm just a sucker for good vocals and great discographies to match)

then there are a few other groups i love and listen to frequently: aespa, bigbang (g-dragon especially), stray kids, pentagon, blackpink, twice, dreamcatcher and some solo artists: lee hi, taeyeon, dean, zion.t

[heartriki]

tagged by @beomgyung to do my top 9 albums of 2020 :D thank you!! idk who to tag that hasn't already been tagged... maybe @leesalts @yunwoo @heeseungluvs @jay-park if you guys havent already done it??

i know only like. 3 of these are actually from this year but these are my emotional support albums TT honestly theres WAY more but this post would get too long if i tried to mention all of them

victon - continuous / honestly every single track on this (mini) album is perfect. it feels like the soundtrack of a kdrama tbh, especially petal, all i know, and white night. white night unlocked emotions that i didnt think i could feel. it’s honestly my favourite album of this entire year and it has been ever since it came out in like. march. 💀

arctic monkeys - am / this album has been a favourite of mine since it came out in 2013. i really cant explain how much i love this album lmao especially do i wanna know like. this came out in 2013 and its STILL amazing. i also love r u mine and snap out of it

enhypen - border: day one / i listened to the entire album right after coming out of the exam hall on the day of my last exam 💀 so maybe its bc i have good memories attached LOL but i really love this entire album. the intro and outro are so creepy and i LOVE it, their voices go together so well and suits the concept. i love everything about it. love me a good horror concept :^)

wayv - awaken the world / tbh this is just me being an nctzen like there’s nothing profound about this album and i have nothing to say except i love nct and i love wayv and they practically never make bad music and this album doesn’t even have my all time favourite wayv song, aka the most romantic song in existence, face to face

aimer - after dark / ok first of all I LOVE AIMER SO MUCH. I LOVE HER MUSIC AND HER VOICE. EVERYTHING. i had to hold myself back from trying to include her entire discography on this. this album is amazing and polaris and rokutousei no yoru helped me through a pretty rough time. i listen to the magic blue version of rokutousei no yoru though, which is just. so magical. PLEASE listen to it

the boyz - reveal / chase was amazing too (especially checkmate) but i had to go with reveal bc all the songs on it are exactly what i like hfdbfdn my favourites are reveal, scar, ego, shake you down, and salty :^) tbh i also love tbz’s entire discography

bts - the most beautiful moment in life pt 2 / and another album that helped me through a rough few years of my life! honestly all the songs are amazing, butterfly is BEAUTIFUL, whalien 52 unlocked emotions in me that i could not previously feel, dead leaves also made me feel things i didnt know i could, and house of cards is SEXY

hozier - hozier / i just really love the lyrics lmao, its so ominous and weird and creepy. in the woods somewhere feels like a fever dream, from eden once again made repressed emotions resurface, i dont wanna talk about like real people do bc it makes me !!!!!!!!!!!, and i don’t think i have to say much about take me to church

5sos - youngblood / nothing profound. just bops. youngblood, lie to me, ghost of you, and better man are amazing, and if walls could talk and babylon are sexy. that is all

[kayliemusing]

30

1: Name - Kaylie

2: Age - 23

3: 3 Fears - Spiders, failure, loss

4: 3 things I love - Reading, writing, Taylor Swift

5: 4 turns on - Kindness, nice hands, humor, someone who has a really warm heart.

6: 4 turns off - Arrogance, moustaches lmao, narcissism, basket ball shorts *shudders*

7: My best friend - Her name is Megan (but also my mom lmao)

8: Sexual orientation - Heterosexual

9: My best first date - I have never been on a date.

10: How tall am I - 5'2

11: What do I miss - My childhood mostly

12: What time were I born - 2:45 pm

13: Favorite color - Red, but sometimes a nice summery, pastel yellow

14: Do I have a crush - no

15: Favorite quote - I have so many that I can't say my utmost favourite, but one that I always think about is from Richard Siken "He was pointing at the moon but I was looking at his hand." I'm not even sure how this is supposed to be interpreted, but I just love the detail of this. Of someone looking at the moon and pointing at it, but you're looking at their hand because you're that consumed by them and also they're like your moon. anyway-

16: Favorite place - My house lol

17: Favorite food - Cheesecake

18: Do I use sarcasm - Yes, but very dryly

19: What am I listening to right now - Nothing actually. I'm just sitting in the quiet.

20: First thing I notice in new person - I used to think it was physical, like eyes or their smile, but I think it's actually their demeanor. i.e., confidence, if they're laid back, talkative or quiet, etc. Or even just how they handle things. Like when I'm at work and I meet a new co-worker I'm always noticing how they are with people.

21: Shoe size - 6.5 US but I can manage a 7 US too.

22: Eye color - Grey

23: Hair color - Ashy blonde, but I usually get it highlighted to be a brighter blonde

24: Favorite style of clothing - I'm super into the French girl vibe right now (elegany, classy, ribbed sweaters tucked into high waisted jeans or dress pants, a blazer thrown over and a nice gold necklace) but I'm also really into a summery boho look (flowy maxi dresses and skirts)

25: Ever done a prank call? No

27: Meaning behind my URL - On this account, it's just my name and then 'muses' because this account is just me talking to myself tbh. My main account is called autumnsletters which is just a combo of my fav things: autumn and handwritten love letters, and finally, my embarrassing taylor swift account is called sixteenavenue which is a lyric from her song I Think He Knows where she mentions her heart skipping down sixteenth avenue.

28: Favorite movie - I feel like i don't have one answer bc I always have a different answer to this question lmao. I think it's called A Christmas Carol (the 2009 version w/ Jim Carrey). It just makes me feel cozy and warm inside. Also: Clueless.

29: Favorite song - All Too Well by Taylor Swift I think.

30: Favorite band - Of Monsters and Men

31: How I feel right now - I actually feel really happy today, which is a change lol. I had an awful week last week, but over the last couple of days I've just felt more creative and happier.

32: Someone I love - My mom

33: My current relationship status - Single

34: My relationship with my parents - Excellent.

35: Favorite holiday - Christmas

36: Tattoos and piercing i have -0 :'(

37: Tattoos and piercing i want - I want to get my ears pierced again bc the holes grew over. Low key want a nose piericing and low key want a tattoo on my collarbone (or somewhere around there)

38: The reason I joined Tumblr - Because everyone else had it and I felt left out LOL

39: Do I and my last ex hate each other? - I don't have an ex

40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts? - No

41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted? - No i've never been kissed rip

42: When did I last hold hands? - never but it's ok bc i can hold my own hand

43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? - Depending on what I'm doing. If I showered the night before and I'm just doing a very low-maintenance look, roughly 15-20 mins. On a normal day in which I shower in the morning and am trying to actually be presentable, roughly an hour.

44: Have I shaved your legs in the past three days? - Have YOU shaved MY legs? No. Have I shaved my own? Yes

45: Where am I right now? - My room

46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me? - Most likely I'm not drunk, but IF I WAS, it would be my friend, my mom, or my sister (my sister would probs make fun of me and film me tho tbh)

47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? - Loud if I'm jamming with nothing else to do but sing along. If I'm trying to do something, I'll turn it down bc I can't focus with loud music (especially if I'm trying to write something/talk to someone/text someone)

48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad? - My mom bc my dads dead

49: Am I excited for anything? - My sister and I are going to Banff in about three weeks so I'm excited for a getaway.

50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? - No

51: How often do I wear a fake smile? - I work in retail so

52: When was the last time I hugged someone? - I don't know. I think I hugged my mom at some point this week lol

53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me? - Bye bye babyyyy

54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not? - my cat

55: What is something I disliked about today? - I had to go to work

56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? - Taylor Alison Swift baby

57: What do I think about most? - Probably Taylor Swift.

58: What’s my strangest talent? - I can make stomach gurgling noises with my mouth closed.

59: Do I have any strange phobias? - Nah, pretty generic ones

60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? - Behind the camera

61: What was the last lie I told? - Some lady asked if a product was good and I said yes so I wouldn't have to help her find another one

62: Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? - Neither what the hell

63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? - Neither

64: Do I believe in magic? - No

65: Do I believe in luck? - No

66: What's the weather like right now? - It's calm, but a little cloudy. It was really warm and sunny earlier, but it's gotten a little grey.

67: What was the last book I've read? - I just finished this series called The Winner's Curse by Marie Rutkoski and it was so good but so stressful omg. Still 5/5 stars.

68: Do I like the smell of gasoline? - Yes

69: Do I have any nicknames? - Not really, but sometimes my coworkers call my Kayls

70: What was the worst injury I've ever had? - Oh my god when I was like 10 I fell during grounders and the bar hit me right on the cooch. Most painful event of my entire life.

71: Do I spend money or save it? - Spend it bitch

72: Can I touch my nose with a tongue? - No

73: Is there anything pink in 10 feet from me? - yes!! my blanket!!

74: Favorite animal? - I love hippos and I don't know why.

75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM? - Reading on my phone to avoid sleeping so I could prolong not going to work

76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is? - Devil. Kind of like Satan The Devil is his full name

77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? - Shake It Off

78: How can you win my heart? - Learning Taylor Swift's entire discography for my sake

79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone? - tbh I really don't know

80: What is my favorite word? - Wonderstruck

81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr - n/a

82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? - stream fearless taylor's version

83: Do I have any relatives in jail? - no

84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power? - Healing

85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? - N/A

86: What is my current desktop picture? - it's a misty forest

87: Had sex? - no

88: Bought condoms? - no

89: Gotten pregnant? - no

90: Failed a class? - yes

91: Kissed a boy? - no

92: Kissed a girl? - no

93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? - no but it's a dream

94: Had a job? - I've had two so far

95: Left the house without my wallet? - Yes, sometimes I do it on purpose so I can make my mom pay for something lmao (chill i'm talking something small like candy)

96: Bullied someone on the internet? - no

97: Had sex in public? - no

98: Played on a sports team? - no

99: Smoked weed? - no

100: Did drugs? - no

101: Smoked cigarettes? - no

102: Drank alcohol? - yes

103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan? - no

104: Been overweight? - I feel overweight, but technically no

105: Been underweight? - No

106: Been to a wedding? - Yes

107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? - Yes, but not since I was younger. I'm mostly on my phone now.

108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight? - Oh yeah lmao

109: Been outside my home country? - No

110: Gotten my heart broken? - Yes

111: Been to a professional sports game? - No

112: Broken a bone? - No

113: Cut myself? - Yes

114: Been to prom? - Sort of. I'm Canadian so I had grad.

115: Been in airplane? - No

116: Fly by helicopter? - No

117: What concerts have I been to? - Jonas Brothers when I was about 10 lmao and Marianas Trench when I was 15

118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex? - No

119: Learned another language? - Tried to

120: Wore make up? - Yes. I do work at a makeup store.

121: Lost my virginity before I was 18? - no

122: Had oral sex? - no

123: Dyed my hair? - not a funky color, no

124: Voted in a presidential election? - Sort of; I voted for a prime minister

125: Rode in an ambulance? - Yes

126: Had a surgery? - No

127: Met someone famous? - No

128: Stalked someone on a social network? - No

129: Peed outside? - No

130: Been fishing? - No

131: Helped with charity? - Yes

132: Been rejected by a crush? - No bc I never fessed up to any crush lol

133: Broken a mirror? - No

134: What do I want for birthday? - A jewelry box

[stfreds-arc]

@perdefinitio​ asked :  unusual hcs: 8, 12, 20, 26, 50 !! ( i really wanna know all of them but tried to restrict myself haha. ) / unusual hcs , not accepting !

       8 —— what do they sleep in ? pj’s, normal clothes, nothing ?

it’s safe to say that, at any time of day or night, you’ll find her sleeping in some combo of t-shirts and underwear or sweatpants. it mostly depends on the climate ( read: verse ), but she doesn’t own actual pajamas or nightwear or anything like it. in her main verse ( southern california ) it’s mostly a tank top and her underwear, that’s about it. in verses where she’s relocated to colder places ( i.e. uk ) it’s t-shirts and sweatpants, but never anything fancier than that. ( she’s also always barefoot which must NOT be nice for anyone sleeping with her and her frostbitten feet ).

      12 —— do they prefer sleeping alone or with someone else ?

this… this is a tricky one. if we ignore all her issues with intimacy and relationships for a second, however, fred 100 % prefers to sleep with someone else. the reasoning is simple — she DOESN’T sleep when she’s on her own, not really. most of the time she sleeps a couple hours a night, rides a wave of exhaustion until she’s worn herself down and falls into what constitutes more a coma than sleep for a whole day ( usually her day off ). when on her own, her sleep is UNEASY — it tends to be light, awaken by the tiniest noise, and when they don’t wake her it’s because she’s being haunted by nightmares ( one of them is recurring, and she dreads going to sleep because of it, too ). she can only really SLEEP when she’s with someone else she truly cares about. it doesn’t have to be someone she has romantic feelings for, it can be a close friend or a platonic connection of any kind, as long as she TRUSTS them to keep her safe, or to at least care about her enough that she can let go a little, unwind, relax.

      20 — what do they hate being teased about ? are they teased often ?

freddie only really has two big achilles’ heels ( aside from her whole past, obviously, but that’s nothing she’d just casually mention to anyone who wasn’t an extremely close connection ) : the first involves being called ANY sort of misogynistic slur, which drives her angry to the point of INSANITY but her anger is almost always aimed at herself, and from the outside might look closer to HEARTBREAK. ( ‘lighter’ ones aren’t that much of a problem: things like bitch make her laugh, she’d happily call herself that when joking or making a point — the ‘heavier’ ones however have brought her close to tears once or twice ). the second, the most commonly exploited, is her EDUCATION —— as she never really had one ( dropped out of high school on her last year, barely made it through the first years in the first place ) freddie’s often self-conscious about voicing her thoughts, opinions and beliefs as she’s afraid of coming off as  ‘ stupid ’ or ‘ ignorant ’. that’s why anyone makes fun of her for being uneducated her mood is utterly ruined and it turns into self-hatred. she’s good at hiding it, and usually, when made fun of, she’ll smile politely and go quiet, but deep down it’ll truly destroy her self esteem ( any more than it already destroyed itself tbh ). as for the latter question, i wouldn’t say she gets teased often on these matters ( she makes a good job of protecting herself from potentially exposing herself too much ). her friends do tease her, but for quirks she has no problem admitting — her reckless driving, her inability to cook, her being a cat lady, etc.

      26 — what are they most passionate about ? what could they debate about for hours ?

books, music and movies. it’s quite predictable, true, but she loves her stories passionately: though one might never say it ( she makes a good job of hiding it with sarcasm and all the usual barriers she puts up to keep herself SAFE ), freddie’s a huge ROMANTIC, which makes her extremely passionate in regards to certain types of media. she could go HOURS discussing a character’s motives in a particularly engaging novels, as well as get into heated arguments about entire discographies of her favorite bands. you’ll seldom see her burn with this much PASSION for anything other than stories with tragic characters and impossible happy endings, really.

      50 — where do they see themselves in 2 / 5 / 10 years ?

ah, okay, this is a REALLY good one. because the thing is, in order to see herself in the future you need to have PLANS and fred just… doesn’t. or, better yet: she doesn’t think she’ll be allowed to. deep down she believes her PAST is gonna catch up with her for a reckoning, and that’ll mean either going back to work for victor in some capacity or probably die. right now she’s just happy with SURVIVING — she’d like to keep surviving a few years more, but the way she sees it right now, it’s unlikely. ( deep down she nurtures the dream of getting a family, maybe buying the bar off peter’s hands eventually, making a name for herself — these are fantasies she won’t let herself indulge in, however, as she’s firmly convinced they’ll just break her heart when they inevitably fall apart ).

[fuck-you-upmusicbracket]

Searching for A Former Clarity (Against Me!)

And in the journal you kept by the side of your bed/You wrote nightly an aspiration of developing as an author/Confessing childhood secrets of dressing up in women's clothes/Compulsions you never knew the reasons to/Will everyone you ever meet or love/Be just a relationship based on a false presumption?/Despite everyone you ever meet or ever love/In the end, will you be all alone?

"Searching for a Former Clarity is about the process of dying. It's the closing track to the album, and it shares a theme with the opening track, but while Miami uses disease and dying as a way to talk about the city metaphorically, Searching for a Former Clarity is much more personal. It's also partly autobiographical. Laura Jane Grace wouldn't come out for another seven years, although if I'm remembering right she was convinced that this song would immediately out her to everyone. (I could be thinking of a different song from the same era. It's kind of a running theme in her music.) A while back I saw an old video of her performing this song, when it was still new and she still wasn't out. It felt wrong to see that version of her, honestly (I'm old enough that I should have been a fan in the 2000s but I'd never heard of Against Me until a couple years ago), but it also amazes me just how much *better* she looks now. She looked so much older then, and unbelievably more miserable, than she does now. I hate that she had to live like that for so long, but I think about that contrast every time I hear the song now. Honestly, with that in mind, I never want to hear anyone saying shit about how they are glad someone suffered so that they could Make Art(TM) about it. Fuck that. Don't get me wrong, I love this song and most of Against Me's discography, but I'd willingly give all of it up if it could somehow retroactively mean that Laura Jane Grace didn't have to have the shitty life experiences that led to it. Yes, a lot of art comes from suffering, but people shouldn't have to fucking suffer for art. I've had some experiences lately that forced me to think about my mortality a bit more seriously than usual. If I died today, there would be an extensive record of my gender, and my complex feelings about gender, on various mostly anonymous twitter and tumblr and reddit accounts. If I died today, nobody who knows me would know the name I chose for myself. Not that I'm a historical figure (I'd probably be entirely forgotten in a decade tbh) but speculation about my gender would be *at most* someone's conspiracy theory based on poorly-sourced and badly-interpreted speculation. I'd be buried as a man, I'd be remembered as a man, I'd be forgotten as a man. That was my choice. I have my reasons for making it. I don't know if it is right or wrong or even if the concepts of "right" and "wrong" are the right ones to use when thinking about it. I'm still going to have feelings about it every chance I get. Searching for a Former Clarity is a pretty good way to get them. Emma. That is the name that I chose."

No Rain (Blind Melon)

And I don't understand why I sleep all day/And I start to complain when there's no rain

"Okay, I know this is not the usual song genre vibe of a fuck you up song BUT THE LYRICS and the fact that the song is so soothing and a little up-beat just fucks me up. Like this is the song of my life- literally. My brother thinks of me everytime he hears this song which I think shows how much I relate to this song. It fucks me up specifically because I RELATE so hard to it. The overwhelming loneliness is the theme of this song, and the idea that days just pass with no passion or enjoyment and we do what we can just to stay awake and keep going despite the monotony of it all. And how all of this can be solved if that one person will just stay with you."

No Rain submitted by @ghostlystrangers

[zankivich]

The Arrangement: CEO’s Son/Dom!Shawn x Black Sub Reader Chapter 4

a/n: hi I'm back! Please don’t hate me tbh. The semester is off to a crazy start for me already, I don't think Senior year is gonna go down without a fight. I’m really excited for these babies tbh. Shit’s about to get real so strap yourself in tight!!!!! 

WARNINGS: deep throating, oral (female receiving), oral (male receiving), restraints, general Dom-ness? 

*y/n’s point of view*

The only good thing about bougie ass dinners with industry people is playing dress up. Nothing else good could come out of a bunch of rich people throwing themselves a dinner to network and do a raffle for charity so that no one notices how pointless the dinner was. New York was notorious for them. More so than even LA maybe. But, however much you hated them wasn’t going to stop you from attending. It was important for the company that you go. You figured a little pampering session was the least that you deserved.

Somewhere along the line you stopped having to visit beauty shops with black plastic bags that contained your hair for the event. At some point a hair stylist started showing up at your apartment. You stopped paying in cash and started having Tiana pay the bill. Things had changed a lot actually. But the quality of your hair? Sis, that was a standard that must be improved upon and maintained.

One cannot imagine the power of a lacefront until it has adorned your head. Think Beyonce on stage with the jet of a thousand fans whooshing through her hair. Only without the networth or discography. Tonight you were going for something a little unorthodox, a little outside of your comfort zone. Purple to be exact. But not just any purple. It was this rich, vibrant shade of purple. The roots started out black which made it a little more natural looking and this beautiful wig was sitting at twenty-six inches long meaning you were finna be looking GWOOD. Yes with the ‘w’, too.

“Ooooooo child! Would you look at me?! Where did she come from looking so pretty? Sheesh!” You cackled at the mirror.

Tiana laughed right along with you as your stylist did some finishing touches to make sure your wig was glued for the rest of the night.

“If you’re done loving on yourself we gotta get you into your dress and make up in less than thirty minutes.”

“Oh shit, girl why didn’t you say somethin’?”

Tiana just rolled her eyes. She had said something. At least three times. Woops.

Your dress for the evening was one of those dresses that one didn’t get to eat meals in because any added weight might make the zipper burst. Usually you were a flowly type of gal, a fuck the patriarchy type of gal. But the dress was silk and free so like...just this once.

In the car to the event, you work on emails for your artists, while Tiana works on emails for you. You were probably moving in the direction of needing to hire more bodies, hell you knew your clients were pulling in enough work on their own, but it was hard to give up the duo, the dream team. You craved the intimacy of having your best friend with you always, and you weren’t ready to let anyone else invade that space yet.

“Can we leave this thing early and go get burger king or somethin’?” You whined leaning on her shoulder.

Tiana, never one to be out done, was in her own outfit for the night. It was a sparkly beaded dress with extremely intricate detailing on the bodice. She was thicker than even you were, boobs and ass and thighs galore with a tummy to match that she was just as proud of. All of this exquisite body was draped for the gods that night, the way that she deserved. Her hair remained natural for the night but tied up into these beautiful knots in a row of three on her head. She was beautiful and perfect. You loved her infinitely.

She snorted softly. “We have to stay until at least dessert has been served. But I see no reason not to hit up some food afterwards.”

“How tipsy can I be and still get away with it tonight?”

“Hmm...I think if you do more than four vodka-crans you might start asking people if their families owned slaves.”

You purse your lips in annoyance. “But that’s my favorite question! I never get to have fun. Shit.”

Post the whole hitting number one on Forbes 30 under 30 list, you had to start doing the whole red carpet thing. Cameras weren’t your favorite, and you liked the flash of them even less. However,  Black Women didn’t exactly get to the position you were in very often, and so you’d smile and pose a little if it meant some little black girl from queens sitting at home might see it and create the thought in her head that she could get there to. Cause she needed to. There needed to be more. It wasn’t even an option.

It’s on that red carpet that you see him. Why it had never occurred to you that he would be there you weren’t quite sure. But it didn’t. And you were left floundering in the middle of a million cameras as you witnessed your fuck buddy walk out in a deep maroon, red suit like the goddamn devil he was. You bit your lip as he ran his fingers through his hair and slid his hand into the pocket of his perfectly tight pants while he smoldered for the camera. Jesus.

“Bitch you are making dick sucking eyes in the middle of this red carpet! Get. It. Together.” Tianan hissed in your ear.

“I--I am so sorry. I’m together. Together. I promise.” You whispered.

You cleared your face, teeth resetting into your famous smile. Your fingers rested on your thigh and hip for that perfect pose. Maybe you settled your hair a little more over your shoulder. The photographers were impressed, as they should be, and called for a little more action. There’s no way you let your eyes roam over to see if he was staring. There was no need. You could feel the heat in which he stared, nearly felt the zipper on the back of your dress come undone with it. Hmmm. Sounds about right. Men, so obvious.

Eventually you turned to let Tiana lead you to the next section of carpet. Unfortunately there was nowhere else to turn. He was there. Hair perfectly nestled into a curly disarray. You didn’t miss the way he licked his lips as you walked closer. There’s no way the cameras missed it either.

“Y/n!” He called, the cocky asshole. “Let’s get a picture.”

Your eyes widened and you turned to Tiana for assistance, only for her to shrug.

“There’s technically no reason to say no.”

And that is how you found yourself in the middle of a red carpet, his fingers burning against your hip as you both smiled for the cameras.

“We are in public.” You hissed through clenched, but smiling, teeth. “Please act like it.”

“I wouldn’t dream of acting differently.” He grinned, fingers digging a little more firmer against your skin. “But uh, you taking this dress off in my apartment later or is that my job?”

You went to throw your hair over your shoulder again and took the time to subtly and smoothly ram your elbow into his side.

“Ouch. Dammit, y/n.”

You smiled. “I must be moving on. Have a lovely time, sweetheart.”

His eyes travel over your back and down to your ass as you walk away. Again, you don’t need to look to know it. You were a fucking dream.

The inside is just as schmoozy and annoying as ever. There’s some violin, harp type shit. There’s a cocktail hour. Half of the audience looks ready to keel over. And yet here your black ass was having to deal with it all. Rude. But like always you and Tiana made the most of it.

She led you through the throngs of people stopping you when it was necessary to shake hands and kiss cheeks. Tiana understood just as you did, that as annoying as it was, these nights were extremely necessary. The better you fit into the crowd here, the more leverage you had to buck the system in your daily job. And you loved bucking the system.

By the time the cocktail hour had ended you had all but forgotten about Shawn and that godforsaken suit. It isn’t until Tiana and you head for your table for the dinner that you catch sight of a head of hair that didn't look nearly as good as when your fingers were tugging at it. He’s leaning on the chair of some other woman, blonder and thinner and so your opposite that it must give the man whiplash. But that’s fine. It’s not like you’re exclusive, not like you’re dating at all. You don’t care at all.

There’s a glass of champagne in your hand and you keep your body turned entirely the opposite way of his, so as to not intrude on his conversation. Tiana gives you a little helpless smile as if she isn’t sure whether this means anything to your or not. But, it doesn’t.

“I’m fine.” You assure her hand reaching to touch her arm. “Now don’t let me drink more than six of these.”

“Four. We said four sis.” She snorted.

You shrugged your shoulder. “Ti, we gotta let loose every now and again. We deserve it.”

“It’s my job to make sure you don’t regret it in the morning.” She noted.

“Nah, fuck that. You work practically twenty-four, seven for me, Ti. I know we’re best friends but like...take the night off. Drink. Eat. Relax. Find someone to go home with. You deserve it, okay? I’m serious.”

Her playful grin dipped into a genuine smile. You were ride or dies for a reason.

She leaned closer and settled your hair more perfectly along your shoulder as a guise to whisper in your ear.

“It’s okay if it bothers you, ya know? Like you’re entitled to your emotions.” She breathed.

Your eyes widened over her shoulder as the only person in the world with the ability to catch you slipping caught your ass like a fish out of water.

“I--It doesn’t.” You mumbled. “I’m not bothered at all.”

“Okay. That’s okay too. I just want you to know that if there’s anyone in the world you could maybe share that with if you were feeling it, that that would be me okay?”

You smiled softly. “I know. I do. Thank you. I’ll be fine okay? Don’t worry about me.”

“So what...I’m just supposed to go to the bar? Get a drink?” She giggled.

“Yes, bitch. Get several, okay? Put it on my tab. Stop worrying about me. You worry more than my mama does and she worries enough for all of us.”

You pulled her easily into your arms for a hug and a kiss before swatting her on her ass to get her to leave. Behind every successful Black Woman is always another Black Woman itching to see her succeed. Well sometimes success needs to come with some time off. What better night to give her some?

The problem arose that once you sent Tiana off to live her best life, you were still stuck at a table with a whole bunch of people you didn’t know. Except for Shawn. Who you could definitely feel staring at you as you took a sip of champagne. You flicked your hair like an elegant curtain over your shoulder, still facing away from him. Perhaps you had forgotten the kind of guy that he was, that taking no’s or subtleties weren’t exactly in his wheelhouse. It was hot in the bedroom, and annoyingly inconvenient everywhere else.

“So are we just pretending we don’t know each other?” He asked throwing his arm around the back of your chair. “Just wanna know how I’m meant to play it.”

You rolled your eyes in the opposite of his direction.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m just sitting here waiting for this unseasoned ass meal to begin.”

He chuckled. “You are about as subtle as a bus to the forehead. You realize that, right?”

Unable to ignore the emotion that fluttered in your stomach, something that was unnamable to you even then, you turned to face him. His chair was directly next to yours, his arm draped casually against the back of your chair with ease. His hair was still just as perfect, if not a little more tugged into submission from the last time you saw him. He was grinning at you and eyeing your lips even now. As if it was a game that you’d lost before you’d even knew you were playing.

“What exactly is that supposed to mean?” You asked.

“I just couldn’t help but notice the glare you sent my way when I was talking to Natasha earlier.”

“Natasha.” You snorted. “Who the hell is Natasha?”

“Funny...She’s just an associate alright? Works for my dad.” He hummed, lips practically at your ear.

You barely sniffed in his direction.  “Is that so?”

“It is.”

“Mhm. And why do you feel so inclined to assure me of that huh? Or is that you being subtle?”

He rolled his eyes at you, a playful little smirk upon his lips. You didn’t like him. You didn’t like him one bit. He drove you crazy.

The chatter of the room dimmed slightly as the food finally began to arrive to the tables. Shawn didn’t move his arm from around your chair. In fact as the waiter began to doll out plates to your table, he leaned in even more, let his lips rest against your ear like there was no one in the room but the two of you.

“Doesn’t quite matter who I talk to does it? No one’s my good little girl like you.” He whispered.

Your eyes fluttered over to him before looking aimlessly anywhere else. Your champagne glass. The silverware. The old man across from you who looked like he was wearing a toupee from the 70’s. The party moved seamlessly around the two of you, but you couldn’t help but look for eyes that might be on you. Shawn didn’t seem the least bit interested in doing anything besides driving you mad. He never seemed to be worried about much of anything. You both envied it and were annoyed by it. It didn’t stop your legs from crossing tighter, or your spine from straightening now did it?

“Not tonight.” You sighed. “Not here.”

He released a hum that you’d only ever heard in the bedroom. It was one of disapproval, one of challenge. He hated when he didn’t get his way, and this was you denying him on the thing he wanted most in that very moment. You.

“After. My place isn’t far.”

The waiter finally got to the two of you placing your dishes before you. Something that resembled a dry ass piece of chicken lay stagnant on your plate, with some weird dots of something that looked like baby food. It was enough to get your mind back on track and enough to get you more centered and less dick crazy.

“I--I can’t. Tiana and I are going to Burger King.” You shrugged.

You could see his eyes widen from your periphery giving you the time to ask the waiter for another drink. You might need it.

“Burger King...Well fuck it let’s go to Burger King then.”

It was your turn to look at him, wide eyed and confused.

“I’m sorry? What part of what I just said made you think your pasty ass was invited to my Burger King expedition?”

“I just figured we should take some time to build up our strength for some late night activities is all.”

Genuinely, how did you end up here? Where was the camera? When was the joke going to reveal itself?

“Honestly you must have a script writer or something. There is no way that shit actually comes out of your brain and through your mouth.”

The table around you was having a conversation, but it just didn’t seem to matter. Nothing really cut through when the two of you were together. Whether he was annoying you or turning you on, Shawn seemed to take up all your senses. He did it with ease and with swagger. Sometimes you didn’t even hate him for it. Sometimes you wished you hated him more.

“Have you ever thought about how much easier both of your lives would be if you argued with me less and just let me make you happy more often?” He asked.

You peered at him looking for a sign of him joking, waiting for him to say something smart, something that would make you want to slap him. But he didn’t. He just stared as if he genuinely wanted an answer. And when the time came you were helpless but to give it to him.

“Is that...is that what you’re concerned with? Making me happy?” You asked.

He stared at you for a second, eyes wide and sincere, before his shoulders dropped and he shrugged away whatever moment there might have been.

“‘Course I am darlin’. I’m concerned with keeping us both happy if you know what I mean.”

You rolled your eyes and tried to focus on cutting through the food on your plate. It was barely edible. God you hated these dinners.

“There’s nothing wrong with talking to each other when we’re not naked, yn.” He mumbled between his own bites of dry chicken.

You shrugged your shoulders. “I know that.”

“Yea? So can I come to Burger King then?” He asked.

His jawline points to you and it is as infuriating as it is comforting. You’re not quite sure how he manages that. You just know that you don't quite hate each other. Never have. You actually had periods where you got along quite well. And perhaps that’s what made you the most nervous. This potential for the two of you to get along muddied up the waters slightly. What did that mean if you were two people who fucked and got along? What did it mean if you became friendly, became friends even? You weren’t sure, and it seemed like everything that the two of you might want to avoid. So definitely don’t invite him, right?

“W--Well… Fuck. I guess you can come. But if you at any point start fucking up the atmosphere, I will promptly drop your ass off at the subway.” You warned.

“Fine. It wouldn’t be the weirdest foreplay we’ve gotten up to anyway and you know it.”

“God, kill me now.”

***

When you told Tiana to go live her best life you weren’t quite sure what that meant. But, you knew it had not entailed bringing some random ass man on your friendship Burger King run! Granted he was sexy as hell, but like...not the point. And the fact that you showed up with Shawn tagging along was not to be mentioned, no matter how many eye rolls she sent in your direction. Rude.

“Can we go to your place tonight?” Shawn hummed moving your curtain of hair to tuck gently behind your ear.

You bit your lip, warm and fuzzy from your fifth glass of champagne, and stared at him.

“Mhm. How come though?”

“You sleep better when you’re not in new places. Not that my place is really new anymore, but you still sleep better at home.”

“H--How… How could you possibly know that?”

He shrugged. “You’re not invisible to the world just cause you think you are. I can see you.”

Your heart rate picked up in your chest. You stared at him harder trying to understand how it was possible for this man to do that. He seemed so young, so inexperienced (not in the bedroom of course). You had pegged him as man child, as someone completely out of touch with reality. How dare he see you for more than you had been ready to share. How dare he look deeper.

“I don’t even understand.” You mumbled. “What?”

“At my place you wake up before your alarm. Without fail, every morning. You’re an early bird as it is, but it’s literally like your body enters fight or flight mode or something. We don’t have to talk about it if it’s not what you want. Don’t get mad at me for noticing you though. I think we’re around each other a little bit too much for that now.”

His eyes are warm and gentle and his hand somehow ended up holding your wrist. Even his grasp in gentle. He’s not teasing you, or trying to make a joke. It’s just genuine. Simple. A moment between the two of you that might complicate things if you think hard enough. So, you don’t.

“Fine.” You huffed sliding down in your seat to lean your head on his shoulder. “You don’t like the lights off when you sleep though.”

He peers down at you from above this time, and you get a little stuck on the rosiness of his cheeks.

“Excuse me?” He raised an eyebrow. “We sleep with the lights off every time.”

You shake your head playfully. “At your place you always keep the bathroom light on. At mine? You always change your clothes in my closet and then you leave the light on and the door cracked.”

He goes silent for a while.

You thought maybe you’d touched on a nerve that you weren’t meant to. But, you weren’t sure how to backtrack or talk to him about it. He had touched a nerve for you after all. One that you weren’t quite ready to share. Even with him.

His eyes stayed on his fingers as he played with his rings. You felt calm resting there against his shoulder, watching him. You thought you could fall asleep that way.

“How come you never shut it off?”

You opened your eyes, cheek resting on his shoulder. “Hmm?”

“The light. You never shut it off. You let me keep it on. How come?”

“Cause it seemed like you wanted it, seemed like it made you comfortable. Why wouldn’t I let you do something that makes you happy. It wasn’t affecting me none.”

Another stretch of silence fills the back seat of the car. Tianna and her man giggle to each other. He’s cute. You wonder how long they’ll last. Tianna was the queen of random ass long lasting relationships. She could date someone for two years after meeting them at a bar. She was kind of infectious that way.  You thought that maybe keeping her working for you was stopping her from settling down, from moving on to a new phase in her life...She’d never admit it even if you asked.

“It’s just a thing with my mum.”

“What is?” You asked curiously popping back into the conversation.

“When I was a kid, she used to keep the light on at night so that I wouldn’t get scared. And when we moved out to California, away from Canada, our house was too big. My room was super far away from hers and so she would always keep it on so that I could come find her if I needed to. It’s silly but she’s back in Canada now, and when I go home to visit she still leaves it on. Guess I just got used to it.”

You felt warm against his side. Like maybe if he wrapped his arm around you you wouldn’t mind. Like maybe his lips could touch yours and it would be okay. And when he speaks you feel yourself relax and ease completely against his side. It’s not just the vulnerability. Part of it is the sound of his voice, soft and smooth against your ear. And part of it is his nerves, the way he twitches his fingers as if you might judge him. But you won’t. Couldn’t imagine it.

“That’s not silly.” You whispered against his neck. “That’s sweet. That’s what you deserve. We keep the light on, okay?”

He looked at you like he did at the dinner. Eyes soft and gentle and searching. It’s a loaded glance, but this time you don’t look away.

“Okay. thank you. And we can stay at yours whenever you know? I--I don’t mind.”

“Okay. Thank you.”

Burger King is not prepared for the four of you to walk in at eleven o’clock at night, dressed to the tee and looking for food. But the second a chicken sandwich and an onion ring enter your hand nothing else matters. You are zen. You are in pleasure. You are in heaven. You are...horny?

“What in the hell is you lickin’ your lips at?” Tianna snorted as you two sat in a whole ass booth at burger king in five thousand dollar dresses. What a world.

Shawn was ordering you another chicken sandwhich after the first had not satisfied your hunger. But watching him stand at the register with his hands in his pockets, talking to the person ringing up their order was doing something for you that even you couldn’t explain.

“Ti’ I wanna suck his dick.” You admitted softly. “I wanna suck his dick so bad I can’t stand it.”

“Oh sweet jesus.”

You bit your lip as he turned to throw a smirk at you over his shoulder. That was all she wrote.

“I have to fuck him. Like now.” You shrugged. “ I don’t make the rules.”

“Bitch the hold that man’s dick has on you I will never understand. You cannot go fucking that boy in a Burger King bathroom. That is a level of ratchet-edy that I cannot allow as your best friend.”

You turned to your best friend in your time of need. Tianna had been there your whole life. From braces to training bras to stretch marks to breaks ups. She had seen you at your worst and at your best. And most certainly she had seen you at your horniest.

“Ti, here’s the thing. Sometimes I just need someone to rail me.” You offered in your loosened state. “Sometimes? I need to be bent over and taken for everything that I’ve got. Now I’m not picky about who does it as long as they do it well. The problem...and it is a very big problem, sis...is that no one has ever had the audacity to fuck me like that firm, chiseled little beanpole can.”

“Not beanpole, bitch.” She cackled.

You licked your lips in his direction and sighed the sigh of a woman who was in desperate need of dick. What a life.

“I’m serious. I think it’s the greatest, throw my back out and leave me crying , dick I’ve ever had.” You hummed. “I want him.”

“Well let’s get some more food in your drunk ass and then he can throw your back out a little later.”

It would never make sense to Tianna. It wasn’t that you were drunk at all. In fact, with some food in your system you felt pretty fine. It was just that you really liked the way that he made you feel. And he really liked the way that he made you feel. Shawn should’ve been selfish, should’ve been cocky and underwhelming and sucky in bed. But he wasn’t. He was just...good. He was good and whatever it was that the two of you had, you kind of liked it. What was wrong with that?

Tiana got up to go meet her mans, and when Shawn got back to the table, he set your food in front of you politely. Instead of focusing on the sandwich you looked up at him. And he looked back. His fingers gripped the back of your seat and you leaned forward until you were in each other’s space, until your chin butted softly against his stomach.

“What?” He chuckled fingers grazing your jaw.

Too soft. God he was so soft.

“Mmm. Want you to kiss me.”

His eyes widened slightly and his fingers stilled.

“You do? Right now?”

You nodded. “Please?”

He looked into your eyes and his teeth sunk gently into his bottom lip. Your lips parted and you leaned forward, your heart thumping unevenly in your chest. When he kissed you, you weren’t quite sure what to expect. You thought you’d grown used to his kiss, to the feel of his teeth and his tongue. But, nerves nestled deep in your gut as you weren’t sure what kind of kiss he might give you. When his fingers trailed along the back of your neck softly before gripping it tightly. Breath wooshed past your lips as he yanked you forward to kiss you hard, fast, and deep…in a Burger King.

You gasped lifting slightly out of your chair as his tongue snaked in. Your fingers found his hair and squeezed tight, squeezed desperately at everything that he was. Suddenly your whole body was on fire with want, with need. His hands burned at your hips and you fell into him. He knew exactly what the fuck he was doing. What he always did to you. God you hated him.

“Eat your chicken and let’s go.” He huffed barely pulling back to lick his lips.

Your eyes fluttered wantonly up at him. “W--What are we doing?”

“I’m gonna fuck this pretty little mouth of yours. And then I’m gonna eat your pussy until you sob.”

He tapped lightly on your cheek before turning on his heel and heading straight for the door. If there was a chicken sandwich or a meteor, or God herself in that damn restaurant you was not finna notice.

“Bitch where is you going?!” Tiana called after you.

But there was no use. You were practically floating on air after that man like the dirty little whore you were. Thank you.

“Gotta go.” You called over your shoulder not wanting to miss the way his ass looked in those pants.

Outside the cool fall air felt like ice against your heated skin. The city was still alive and bustling, cars weaving in and out of traffic, horns honking, people booking it to their next location. Shawn stood at the edge of the sidewalk near the car that had driven you from the event, but made no move to get into the vehicle. As you stepped closer, your thighs still practically quivering, he turned to you and smiled before licking his lips with dark and clouded eyes. Fuck.

“Why aren’t you getting in the car?” You whined.

He reached for your hand to pull you closer. One second you were standing beside him and the next he had lifted you just slightly off of the ground until the soles of your shoes were nestled on top of his. His hands settled just below the curve of your ass and tugged your thighs so that your bodies were pressed together. It was some Cinderella, prince charming shit that you had never in your natural born life expected. Suddenly you were feeling far more intoxicated than the drinks had ever caused.

“I didn’t wanna leave Tianna stranded, so I called my driver. He never left the banquet; he’ll be here in fifteen.”

You nodded softly fingers resting on his shoulders at he held you against him.

“Should we...like wait inside then?”

He shook his head with a smirk that made your toes clench.

“No. I’d rather tell you all the things I’m gonna do to you the second I get you alone. We don’t need to go inside for that.”

You gulped. Bitch, honest to god gulped. You didn’t know anyone but Shaggy and Scooby was walking around gulping, but alas. What a fucking night.

“What are you gonna do to me?” You whispered.

He sighed softly letting his thumb run over your cheek in soothing motions again. Then he wrapped his arms around your back and held you so close that may have felt like more than what it was had he not began to speak lowly into your ear.

“I’m gonna keep you in your panties all night.” He hummed. “I’m gonna eat you so good you’ll be aching for me to rip them off, but I won’t. I’m gonna lick you through them. I’m gonna make you cum against my face with them on. I’m gonna lick you clean with them on. I’m gonna drive you absolutely fucking wild if I can help it.”

You swore your knees gave out. But it didn’t matter because his fingers were digging deep into your hips to keep you upright. It wasn’t a sexual embrace. It was barely even romantic. This of course only made it hotter that he was talking to you in the manner that he was, that anyone might walk by at any moment and would have no idea the things he was saying it. You got wet just thinking about it.

“Are you gonna be a good girl for me?” He asked. “Gonna let me make you feel good?”

“Y--Yes. Yes, sir. I promise I’ll be so good for you. Only wanna be good for you.”

“Yea? Gonna let me slip my cock between this pretty lips?”

His thumb tugged at your bottom lip and you moaned embarrassingly loud.

“Shit.”

He leaned forward to kiss your forehead another juxtaposition of emotions and actions that really were sending your body through the ringer. How was he real?

“I’m gonna fuck your throat until you beg me to stop.” He said calmly.

The car pulled up at that exact moment but you were frozen to your spot. Shawn was completely unbothered by the existential crisis that he’d left you in, and simply lifted your feet off of his to open the door. As if it was just a tuesday night or some shit. The audacity.

“Sweetheart let’s not keep Jake waiting, aye? It’s rude.” He murmured in regards to his driver.

Surely there had to be a level where this stopped. Surely, it was all getting to be too much. This man seemed to have you wrapped around his larged, perfectly skilled finger. Yes. Too much. Needs to stop. Like yesterday.

“Okay.” You sighed and shuffled your fine ass into the car.

Welp. Maybe another day.

***

“Are the ropes too tight?” He breathed against your neck, lips trailing delicately over the skin.

You hummed. “No. Feels good.”

“Color?”

“Green.”

“Good girl.”

He steps in front of you, his body long and lithe and taking up all of your senses. His thighs flex with ease and that’s before you even get to the sharp jut of hip that leads to a perfectly pointed V towards his dick. He’s already hard and already ready for you to make him feel good. Because that’s what it’s about. Mutual pleasure. You from giving and him from receiving, and within that giving you everything that you could ever ask for. Your thong is soaked just thinking about it.

“You’re not gonna be able to speak obviously, so I need you to tap me three times really quick if you want me to stop okay?” He asked eyes wide and sincere.

You nodded. “Okay.”

“No I’m serious. If it starts to hurt, I need you to stop me. If it start feels less than good at any point you tell me to back the fuck off. Do you understand?”

“Yes. Shawn, I understand.” You assured him.

He makes you practice it through the ropes around your wrist. Only once you’re comfortable and he’s comfortable does he step closer. Your wig now gone and in its place is your hair pulled tightly into a bun at the back of your head, there’s not much for him to grab onto. That doesn’t seem to bother Shawn in the slightest.. His fingers reach for your cheeks and jaw instead, gentle and playful at first and he tilts your head to the right angle for him. When his cock slips into his hand, and he lets the head rest between your lips, the sound that comes out of him is so tantalizing you nearly cum right there.

“So pretty for me, sweetheart.” He groaned. “Go ahead and get it wet.”

Your tongue laves at the thick fleshiness of his head. He won’t let you move closer to get more, won’t push forward at all yet, so all you can use is your tongue. Surprisingly you love the power that it gives you. The power of being in control of his pleasure from beneath him. It’s an intricate play at the power dynamics that the two of you constantly played with. But, you like it. You like it a lot. You let the tip of your tongue trace lazily at his slit and notice the way his eyes flutter close at the feeling.

“Fuck. Y/n, yes. That’s it.”

He steps a little closer and finally lets his dick slip between your lips. Your tongue continues running beneath the underside, fingers wrapping instinctively around one of his ankles to anchor you more to this moment, this pleasure. The second he gives you the leeway, you wrap your lips tightly around him and suck. You weren’t kidding back at Burger King, you were more than prepared.

“Goddamn, your fucking mouth. You’ll be the death of me you know that?”

You slurped a little nosily at the amount of his length that he had given you, wanting to show your enthusiasm as an answer to his question. He steps a little closer now, and fills you more.

His hands come to rest on your head, one directly on top, and the other at the bottom of your jaw. Your eyes finally lock and his lips fall open in lust as he lets his cock slap against your tongue.

“I’m gonna start to move now. I’m gonna give you more and more until my whole dick is in your mouth. You know our safety signal right?”

You nod eagerly. Desperately. He makes you practice the signal again just in case. Three taps for STOP. Two for slow down a little. One for I’m so happy with this.

The first time he puts his whole dick in your mouth it isn’t even the feel of him that makes your entire body pur. Instead it’s the sound of him whining, His legs tremble and his eyes flutter shut. It’s the hottest thing you’ve ever seen in your life. And you want more of it. Crave it even. So you let him fill you. You let your throat relax and your tongue flatten. You breathe through your nose and you don’t dare move as he slowly begins to move his hips. It has its intended effect on him, but even more than that is the effect it has on you. Your pussy throbs indecently as his balls tap your chin. The rops tighten as you stretch to lean closer, to be closer. His mouth parts and he moans for you. It’s euphoria.

“Jesus. Your mouth feel so damn good.” He grunted.

His thrusts got tighter, more pointed until the sound of your dick between your lips was lewdy and filthy. You welcome the spit that dripped from your mouth, yearned for the way it made him gasp and plead for you. Was he in control? Maybe. But who was really steering the pleasure? You were. And you fucking loved every second of it.

When he pulls from your throat you gasp and cough for breath, but not without seeing the way the tip of his cock was red and angry and leaking. It flapped against your lips and glistened in the light of his bedroom. Even when you were still fighting to breathe, you couldn’t help but want to suck it again.

“I--I’m not gonna fucking last.” He huffed squeezing at the base to stave off his orgasm.

You couldn’t help but pout at the way he got to touch himself while your fingers were tied. Couldn’t stand that your lips weren’t on him anymore.

“Don’t need to. Don’t want you to.” You whined. “Come back to me.”

The look that he gives you is one of heat and lust and something that’s maybe a bit tender. He cups your jaw again and bites his lip like he’s conflicted. About what you haven’t got a clue. Before you can think too much he’s thrusting himself into you again, but this time with more power, more recklessness. It burns slightly at your throat. The sounds get louder, more dirty, and so does the way he cries out for you. It’s desperate and needy and so fucked out and GOD why won’t he touch your pussy yet?!

“‘M gonna cum. Gonna cum down your throat.”

Your fingers gripped desperately at his calf, mouth stretch wide beyond your limits and he gagged you repeatedly with his cock. The fight for air was long and hard, but the way he trembled on his fucking toes for you was everything. It was power and it was beauty and it just made you want to be good for him. You just needed to please him. Simply because you could. Better than anyone fucking else could.

He cums with his fingers wrapped tightly around the back of your skull holding you against his crotch as he emptied himself into your throat. When he pulls out his head taps your lip a final time and each of you groan for different reasons. You for the air that fills your lungs, and him for the orgasm that seems to rock him to his very core.

“Shit. Shit y/n. That was amazing.” He whined.

You smile softly with wet eyes and a wet lips and a bit of a sore throat.

“I know.” You hum.

He rolled his eyes playfully at you and moves to his bedside table for the bottle of water he left for you there. Shawn quickly dropped to his knees along side you and lifted the water bottle to your lips to let the cool water trickle down your throat.

“Are you okay?” He checked. “Did I hurt you?”

You shook your head. “No. Feel good. A little sore. But good.”

“Yea? Well you were amazing. You’re always amazing.”

It fills you with a lightbeam of happiness that is too much to deal with it. You felt like you were on cloud nine. It was one thing for you to know you were good, and another entirely for him to agree. Another thing entirely for him to praise you so endlessly and feverently. It made you feel so damn good.

He untied your wrists and rubbed his thumbs soothingly into your skin. His lips track down yours and it’s just as good as it was at Burger King, just as hunger filled and desperate.

“‘M gonna get you on the bed okay?” He mumbled against your mouth, still pressing heated kisses to your skin. “Your hands aren’t tied anymore so you can do whatever you want with them while I’m eating you out. You can tug on my hair. You can grab at me in whatever way you need. There’s just one thing you can’t do.”

“What’s that?”

“You can’t push me away. I’m gonna make you cum. You’re gonna want me to stop. But I won’t. And I need you to be good for me. I need you to take it. Okay?”

“O--Okay.” You sighed, thighs squeezing together again. “Okay. I’ll be good.”

He smiled and gripped your chin. “My good girl. Come.”

There is nothing like the feeling of him between your legs. His body is warm and hard and heavy. He roots you to the bed and makes you feel more present than ever. His lips and tongue are hot against your already flushed skin as he kisses and nibbles his way along your thighs and stomach. With your hands now free to roam as they please you can’t seem to get enough of him. The softness of his curls between your fingers. The bulge of muscle at his shoulder blades. The dip in the back of his spine. And the entire time he’s doing just what he promised. His tongue soaked at the fabric of your thong, pushing it against your clit with languid little strokes. If you thought that your underwear being in the way would make it less intense, you couldn't have been more wrong. The fabric was silk and it added another texture against your skin as he sucked and prodded at you. Not even fifteen minutes later and your legs had found their way around his back, toes nudging that divet in the small of it again.

“S--Shawn.” you whined pitifully. “Please. More.”

He peered up from between your thighs with the grin of the devil. His lips were already red and swollen. You simply needed more contact.

“I’ll give you more when I’m ready honey. Be good for me.” He cooed.

He sucks a mark into the jut of your lip and runs his tongue there to soothe the flesh before he dives back in.

It’s absolutely torturous. From the foreplay of his dick down your throat, to the absolute hell of his teeth on your thighs, you were buzzing. The need that seem to build and throb from your core was unlike anything you’d ever felt before. You’d never craved being touched, had never needed it this badly. But, here Shawn was constantly pulling emotions and feelings that no one had ever been capable of getting out of you.

He slurped loudly at your pussy through your thong, constantly flicking the fabric to tap anxiously at your clit. When your orgasm started to build, your fingers fisted into his hair, thighs clenched. You pushed closer to his mouth and cried out widely for him, for his tongue, for anything that meant he might take you over the edge. And over the edge you went.

“Fuck. Ohmygod--fuck yea!”

He let you grind your pussy against his face. Let you ride that high like you rode his mouth. And when the orgasm began to ebb and your clit throbbed again, he leaned onto his elbows and grabbed at your ass to pull you even closer against his face. He wasn’t done. He’d barely even fucking started.

“SHAWN!”

He tugged the thong out of the way and licked you clean, ran his tongue along every crevice and nerve ending. When he traces the very tip of your clit with the tip of his tongue your legs close like venice fly trap around his head. Your fingers thrust into his hair and you let out a moan that you would be embarrassed of in broad daylight. There’s just no way in hell he’s got you cumming again this fast.

He got up onto his knees, fingers digging deep into your thighs and wrestled you down onto his expensive ass bed. By the time he comes up for air, your legs were literally trembling and you heart soared so fast in your ears that it was all you could hear.

“This pussy was fucking made for me.” He grunted licking his lips. “Come here.”

“W--wait, I’m so sensitive.”

He paused, fingers still gripping you just tightly enough.

“Color?”

You bit your lip. “Green.”

“You’re sure?”

You nodded softly and leaned back onto your elbows as he made his way between your thighs once again. He tugged your thigh over his shoulder and settled onto his side to make himself more comfortable. Your eyes met from between your legs as he pressed a kiss to one of your pussy lips.

“You make me wait again and I’ll slap your ass so hard you won’t be able to sit tomorrow okay?” He murmured.

Your fingers reached instinctively for his hair now, tightening into the curls as you threw your head back in pleasure.

“Fuck. Okay. Okay, sir. I’m sorry.”

“Mmmm. Good girl.” He hummed against your core.

He starts to lick and suckle at you again ignoring the ways that your legs shake at this point. His hands are dancing on your thighs and gripping at the flesh so good it makes you squirm all the more. It really does just feel too good to be true. His tongue is like a sinful miracle and you’ve been fooling around long enough for him to know your body inside and out. From the way he bumps your clit with his nose, to the way his tongue traces around the skin in tight little circles. Every part of it feels infinitely special. When his fingers slip inside of you and curve towards the darkest part of your being, your hips start to flail again. He only smiles up at you in satisfaction.

“So sensitive for me. Wanna make you cum again. Can you cum for me sweetheart?”

Your back arched hips pushing closer and closer towards him as he filled you up and rubbed roughly at your gspot.

“Oh. Oh my god. Oh my god, Shawn! Please. Please make me cum.”

He pushed at the thigh that was over your shoulder and spread you further so that his fingers could do their magic. He rubbed deeper and deeper into you, fingers curving so that your body lost all control. This orgasm starts in your belly, warm and firey before it spread through every nerve ending. When you cum it’s like an eruption. Your screams reach new octaves. The squelching sound of Shawn’s plunging fingers meeting the thick, sticky liquid from your heat. It’s all too much. Too too much.

“HOLY FUCK!”

He pulled his fingers from within you and let your body drop back down to the bed spread. Your heart raced in your chest and your legs felt like jello. You could barely breathe and Shawn thought it was the funniest shit in the world. He peered down at you with hungry eyes and the cockiest fucking grin in the world and your pussy had the audacity to twitch again. What a whore.

He climbed onto your body, thighs bracketing either side of your torso. His dick was red and leaking again, your body literally shivering as he thrust lazily against your stomach.

“‘M gonna cum on your tits.” He whimpered fisting himself in his palm again. “Is that okay?”

He pumped at his shaft, curls flopping beautifully along his forehead with every thrust of his hips. Shawn was a dream. A sweaty, trembling dream that made your heart race and your toes curl. In the moment with his thighs tenses on either side of you, and his lips parted and swollen, denial was not an option. You ached for his pleasure, for his reward. You craved it.

“Yes. Yes!”

Your hands grasped at the flesh of your boobs lifting them to be pressed together. Your nipples stood erect and rock hard, and this only seemed to spur him on even more. The best part of Shawn’s position above you was the ability to watch him fall apart. Your dom, for all of his charisma and perfected authority, crumbled when he was near orgasm. It was in those few seconds that you got to see him in his most vulnerable state. Whiny and red faced and just as overwhelmed as you. And god did you love every second of it.

He shoved up on his knees and groaned so low that you felt it in your own chest. The head of his cock barely poked out from his fist as he fell over the finish line, cum spurting out in thick long ropes along your body. He gasped and heaved in elation hunching in on himself too. You reached without thinking to take his cock into your mouth, cleaning the last remnants of his orgasm with your tongue. When you pulled back with a nice plop for added measure, he collapsed beside you on the bed. Both of you were absolutely done for after a total of five orgasms split between the two of you. There was simply nothing else for you to give.

“F--Five minutes.” He gasped from beside you. “Five minutes and I’ll go get the washcloth.”

It seemed like a fair trade off. You couldn’t even feel your pussy to let him clean you up after all. What was another five minutes?

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[eveningclouds]

tlgad anon idk if u will see this coz u sent this this morning but i have ur mssg belowww i just copy/pasted it so i could put it under a readmore and also respond to it w more ease :P

I personally love tlgad because she’s telling someone else’s story, but she connects it back to herself in a way that’s unexpected but really fits. I don’t mind self-references— in fact, I tend to prefer the more obviously personal songs because nobody else can write them. The story-telling is top notch, and the build up during the bridge to “and then it was bought by me” is just perfect.

i think we both agree that it’s interesting how she ties the speaker’s story to that of someone else!! i also appreciate the storytelling aspect of this song. i think my issue of it has more to do with the mechanics (i don’t think it utilizes repetition as well as it could, for example)

Also, I love how subtly it deals with the topic of sexism. The Man is great, but since the sexism in tlgad isn’t the main focus (or it is, but it’s within a greater story) it has more of an impact, at least for me. Like, the way Rebekah is judged for marrying into a rich family or already having a failed marriage (“how did a middle class divorcée do it?), and how the town is constantly criticizing her but masking it with a compliment (“the wedding was charming, if a little gauche,” “their parties were tasteful, if a little loud”). Also, their insults to her: they call her mad and shameless, the latter of which is a word often used to describe women who don’t try to conform to society’s expectations. And the Bitch Pack— which was a real thing Rebekah’s friend group called themselves. The town uses that name as an insult, as you can hear in Taylor’s voice as she sings. They can’t stand that she’s bringing all her city friends to this exclusive area. They mock her for her use of finances: “blew through the money,” “losing on card game bets” (not that she’s playing cards, not that she’s gambling, but that she’s losing). You just feel their judgment throughout the entire song, without Taylor ever saying “they judged her.” And yet, Rebekah doesn’t stop. She embraces the Bitch Pack name, she keeps filling the pool with champagne and swimming with the big names. She even bites back at her judgmental neighbors (dying the cat dog key lime green). But neither is she painted as a crazy woman without feelings: the line about how she can be “seen on occasion, pacing the rocks, staring out at the midnight sea” evokes feelings of grieving contemplation, especially once you’ve heard hoax (“stood on the cliff side screaming give me a reason”). It’s affecting her even if she doesn’t want to show it. When Taylor shows up at the end, it’s as if she’s keeping to Rebekah’s legacy. It’s actually very similar to The Lucky One from Red— she’s telling someone else’s story (this time that of a celebrity that came before her) before connecting it to her life during the bridge. However, in The Lucky One, Taylor wishes she could follow in her muse’s footsteps (“you took the money and your dignity and got the hell out”) but can’t, because her name is up in lights— she’s been ensnared by Hollywood society. In tlgad, she’s not trapped anymore: instead, she follows Rebekah’s example of rejecting it all and having marvelous time ruining everything.

agreeeee w all of this; i especially like what u said about the gambling & the bridge!!! i’m very gnsjdfhjfdaja about. the way taylor talks about & writes about feminism tbh but this is def one of her better ones considering the topic imo

i think this is what i mean by self referential though, where it sort of ... requires? you to have a broader understanding of the artist’s discography/album in order to understand the song. i think that that’s def sth rly cool & i love when songs build off of each other, but i think that this song specifically is markedly weaker when listened to in isolation compared to the other songs off of folklore because it is so reliant on external context. idk if this makes sense because i just finished writing an essay for another class and i’m tired ndsfjdjkfhd...like i feel as if there is a difference between personal songs (i love those too!!) & overly self referential songs which risk either being too on the nose or weaker out of context ykwim

This turned out much longer than I intended lol. I love this song— I literally printed out the lyrics and annotated it like poetry when it first came out and have done a close reading on the bridge for the fun of it. It’s so good. But thanks for coming to my Ted Talk 😅

thank you for writing all of this it’s so cool 2 hear peoples’ opinions on songs!!!! & omg...ur mind...i really appreciated reading this, i loved ur insight on the feminist aspect of the song & the way you connected it to the lucky one because i never considered the latter (& will def relisten to that song again)!!