#but you cannot argue to me that there's any canon evidence of him being like. evil or even truly bad

[youngpettyqueen]

🔥

Hawkeye Pierce

I think im stretching this a bit cause it does involve Hawkeye but is less about him and more about cousin Billy and its my hot take that I think Billy wasn't a bad person and what happened was a complete accident

to elaborate on that a bit I see a lot of takes that Billy must've been this horrible evil kid/person and like. ive seen exactly one take like that that ive enjoyed, and that didnt read as forced to me, but for the most part I feel like these weird villainizing takes are just there to make Hawkeye suffer more? im talking specifically about the side of the fandom where theyre like "oh yeah Billy groomed Hawkeye as a kid" like I really. hate that one

I think Billy was probably just a dumb kid who made a dumb choice and pushed his little cousin off the boat thinking it would be funny, and then it wasn't, and when he rescued Hawkeye and brought him back up he panicked and said it was a good thing he saved him cause he didnt want to get in trouble. I dont think he was actively trying to hurt Hawkeye. does that mean the memory is any less traumatic? of course not, he could've literally died, but I dont think its indicative that Billy was like. evil. I think he was just a dumb kid at best, and at worst maybe he was a bit of a jackass. he was probably both! such is the nature of being 13

[biggie-chcese]

Why I think Yomi Hellsmile should've died in Chapter 4

(this essay isnt what you think it is. spoilers for the whole game btw)

Alright so let me preface this by saying that this is not a Yomi Hellsmile hate essay. I like Yomi. He's my favorite peacekeeper. He's funny, he's entertaining, and he makes for a very effective antagonist. So why have him die? Well, for the same reason I wouldn't have Yakou live: I think it makes for a better story.

So here's the true title of my essay: A Critique of how Rain Code's Narrative Handles the Peacekeepers (and by Extension, Yomi) and their Downfall

Let's start with Yomi's downfall in canon. Yuma and Vivia find out his role in Huesca's murder and, ultimately, Yakou's death, and are angry beyond belief. But they're also helpless to do anything as they escape the labyrinth with vengeance on their minds. Of course, this gets shut down immediately, and then Makoto ex machina comes in with Martina in tow to arrest Yomi for his money laundering and bribery. And right then and there, in one fell swoop, the peacekeepers are completely eliminated as a threat in the story to be replaced by Makoto.

But okay... isn't that super underwhelming? The peacekeepers and Amaterasu corp have been the main driving force of the game's primary conflict, and yet somehow they are completely eliminated as a threat because Makoto grabbed a few files off screen. And also, this brings me to my first major issue I have with this ending:

Part 1: Why the fuck do they care?

No I'm serious. Why do the peacekeepers care? So what if Yomi bribed his way to the top? You mean to tell me that the cops who spent the entire game assaulting and antagonizing civilians give a shit? They're never shown to have any sort of problem with their corruption. They send people to be executed on whims and knowingly, regularly falsify evidence on murder cases. At best the peacekeepers are indifferent to the suffering they cause, and at worst they are gleefully complicit in it. So, again, why do they care about Yomi's money schemes? In fact, they only benefit from Yomi's rule because he gives them the power to freely instill fear in Kanai Ward's citizens. The game never, at any point, has an "are we the baddies?" moment from them nor does it ever even try to have at least one peacekeeper question Yomi's authority, even when he's throwing them under the bus. Throughout the whole game, they stand as a completely one-note, cartoonishly evil representation of police corruption.

So why the sudden heel turn? The resolution of chapter 4 feels so jarring to me because the game has zero buildup to it. This also applies to Martina's return. Actually let's also talk about her.

Part 2: So... Martina's return lowkey is kinda lame

Don't get me wrong, I was pretty hype when she came back. But also, the magic wore off pretty quickly for me because I didn't understand why she was suddenly a whole different character. I suppose her brush with death gave her some time to contemplate her actions, or perhaps she felt indebted to Makoto and asked him what she should do, or maybe Makoto held her life over her head and told her to change her act or he's letting her get cubed. Who knows? We get nothing expanding on this so it could be anything.

I feel like people kinda forget that Martina was just as corrupt as Yomi? Like, she is not his helpless victim. I'd even argue that their relationship isn't abusive. Martina is in it with her own interests in mind in addition to just being a massive sadomasochist. I cannot stress this enough: whatever tf she and Yomi had going on, she was completely into it. Even at the end of chapter 2, she was drooling over him and the idea of punishment... until Yomi crossed a line.

Y'see, Martina thought she was special. She thought that whatever punishment Yomi had for her Aetheria Academy blunder, she'd come out of it alive, because she's his beloved right hand. Yomi then showed her that she's just as disposable as the rest of his underlings by ordering her to be brutally executed. That is when she becomes a victim.

Anyway, I'm saying all this to make a point that Martina hasn't shown any interest in being an honest cop until chapter 4. It's completely out of nowhere, just like with the other peacekeepers.

"But Biggie," you may be thinking, "why would Yomi dying fix these issues?" Well I'm so glad you hypothetically asked!

Part 3: We love missed potential, baby!

Kodaka sometimes does this thing where he introduces an interesting concept that plays with the rules of the game... and then doesn't commit to it. Think like the double murder clause in Danganronpa V3 chapter 3, where they mention that if two separate murderers act in the same day then only one of those murders counts. Then they do nothing with this, and instead create a very weak chapter.

This is a similar problem I have with the tail end of chapter 4's mystery labyrinth, which is a really amazing labyrinth that introduces a really amazing concept: taking down a secret mastermind. After reaping the culprit's soul, they have this cool, brand new secret area that... does nothing. No, I'm serious. Nothing happens. All it does is piss Yuma and Vivia off and waste everyone's time. They find out Yomi's involvement in the case, but they still don't do anything with that. Sure it brings a whole new feeling of hopelessness, but doesn't that make Yomi's downfall literally five minutes later through the mundane actions of someone else off screen seem all the more underwhelming? From a gameplay and storytelling standpoint, I think this is just... a cop-out. I think it'd be cool if he was involved enough in Huesca's murder to count as an accomplice, then with Vivia and Shinigami at his side, Yuma reaps Yomi's soul. It's a decent payoff for the NDA and the player while supporting the game's message about the importance of finding the truth. And god does the game need support in that regard, because the Mystery Labyrinth almost never helps and Yuma instead gets saved by someone else (which would've been nice to expand on if we go this route bc there's something interesting about Yuma calling for the labyrinth to kill people for ultimately no reason, but they don't do anything with that and that is a WHOLE other essay lol).

But this is not my main reason that Yomi should've died here. I wouldn't feel so strongly if that was the case. No, my problem lies with a character that isn't Yomi, and what is part of the entire reason Rain Code's plot exists.

Part 4: Is Makoto fucking stupid?

"/lh" by the way. Makoto is my second favorite character in this game behind Yuma, and I adore him. His story, his motivations, his undying will to be a protector of a people that no one else will protect, by any means necessary... he is such an incredible character and antagonist and I genuinely adore him. But I have one eensy weensy, teeny weeny little issue with him:

Why did he need the detectives to oust Yomi?

Makoto claims in the ch 5 labyrinth that the reason the detectives were brought over was to oust Yomi, which leads me to believe the command for the detectives to come to Kanai Ward was his work, not Number One's, then Number One simply caught onto this and took advantage of the situation to sneak in. Though, that's just a guess on my part, mind you. So I suppose he was just desperately hoping at least one of them would take care of Yomi, but isn't that weird?

The detectives don't ever find the evidence of Yomi's money laundering and bribery. Makoto does. The detectives don't ever bring Yomi's corruption to light. Yomi... already does that without their help. Actually, why didn't he secretly team up with the Resistance for that? Too busy ignoring Dohya District's glaring issues, Makoto? Too busy turning a blind eye to your people's suffering?

Uh. Anyway, the only detective that actually does something beneficial for Makoto and kills Huesca is Yakou, who was already in Kanai Ward. And don't tell me that Makoto accounted for Fubuki and Desuhiko's fortes here because that part of the plan was all Yakou's idea. If Makoto could've predicted this, he would've just called the detectives necessary to this plan instead of luring in a bunch of them at once to get slaughtered.

Tons of detectives died coming to Kanai Ward to do... what? Distract Yomi? Could the World's Greatest Mind truly never come up with a better distraction for a guy who didn't even realize his Martina Cube™ order never came in? Yomi isn't shown to be some sort of hypervigilant supergenius nor is he nearly on Makoto's level. Could he truly not have outsmarted Yomi and led him astray long enough to grab a little binder of paper?

So, once again, you may be wondering how Yomi's death would fix this. Well, Yuma, a detective, is the one who kills Yomi.

Makoto is well aware of Yuma using the Book of Death at this point. So what better way to get rid of Yomi than to carefully manipulate the detective who has the Perfect Criminal Murder Tool™? Makoto can't just assassinate Yomi himself- that would make him the main suspect and he'd have to do a lot of PR maintenance to get the rest of Amaterasu Corp off his back. But Yomi mysteriously dying of a heart attack while Makoto isn't anywhere around... well, that's different.

"But wait," you may be thinking, "doesn't Makoto want to keep Yomi alive because he's a Kanai Ward citizen, and he loves Kanai Ward?"

Good point! But doesn't that also apply to Yakou, whom he also had a hand in manipulating into that crazy sui-homocide of Dr. Huesca? Or, what about Fink? Remember him? Makoto killed him for "knowing too much." I know that information is missable, but it's there. And don't tell me it's just because he's a hitman and has killed other Kanai Ward residents, because Yomi has sent many residents to their deaths without trial... not a huge difference. So a body count isn't really on Makoto's "should I kill them" conditions, it seems.

If Fink gets killed for "knowing too much," then Yomi shouldn't be exempt from this, especially when he was leaking homunculus information to the outside world. That goes far beyond "knowing too much." It just doesn't make sense.

But you know what does? Makoto actually using the detectives to wipe his hands clean of Yomi's mess. Yakou is used to take care of Huesca, Yuma is used to take care of Yomi, and Makoto gets to sit back, relax, and watch everything play out just as planned.

And later, in the next chapter, when Yuma learns about Makoto using him like this, he realizes that he's truly been had.

Part 5: How I think it should play out

I'm not being a hater. In fact, I deeply love this game and have a lot of respect for Kodaka and the writing team, so please don't take my little rant as some sort of effort to bash on my favorite video game because that's not what this is. I'm not gonna prop myself up as a better writer than anyone on the team because I'm not, but I'll still try my hand at rewriting this scene to fit my personal taste. So I would like for you to imagine with me, the end of chapter 4...

Yuma and Vivia find the secret area of the labyrinth and find out that Yomi has been masterminding Huesca's murder. Shinigami points out that, hey, that's why the labyrinth is falling so slowly: we haven't finished it off! Vivia stands by Yuma's side, and all of them, driven by their rage and desire to see justice be done, reap the soul of the true mastermind through one final strike of the solution blade. Labyrinth collapses, snap back to reality, oop there goes gravity, oop there goes Yomi, who collapses on the ground.

The peacekeepers are surprised and approach the body. They find that Yomi is dead. They're shocked, and as this is happening, Yuma isn't sure what to feel. Is he glad that he managed to avenge Yakou? Not quite, because Yakou is still gone, the hitman is still out there, and everything still hurts. But a part of him feels... vindicated. Vivia seems to have equally complicated feelings about this. For once, it was... kind of worth it to find the truth, even if a bit messy.

Well now the peacekeepers confirmed Yomi is dead, but now they're accusing the detectives of this. And they're honestly kinda right. Yuma and Vivia realize that they're in kind of deep shit, but the sound of Martina's voice comes from off screen asking what on earth is going on here, making everyone freeze.

Enter her, Makoto, and Seth (I'll say why he's here too in a moment). They're surprised at the sight before them, but Makoto only pretends to be. Then you see it... Martina and Seth go from visibly suprised... to relieved. And there's something oddly triumphant, yet a bit chilling about Makoto and the two people we've witnessed Yomi throw under the bus standing over his corpse. It feels thematic now, as if righteous judgement has come. And... it also solves the "what happened to Seth" question, lol.

Makoto shakes his head and sighs, stepping over the corpse and approaching Yuma and Vivia as he comes up with an excuse: "I always told him that those temper tantrums weren't good for his blood pressure. I guess his heart couldn't take it anymore."

He then nods to the others. Seth instructs the peacekeepers to clean up the body, as they rot quickly in this city. There's this foreboding feeling in the peacekeepers' obedience and efficiency, and Yuma begins to wonder if he did a good thing. Did his actions change the peacekeepers for the better, he asks himself, or did he simply shift the power over to someone worse? Shinigami tells him she doesn't know.

Makoto approaches them with good news: they found and arrested the hitman! Yuma, frightened, does not address that and instead asks him why the other high ranking peacekeepers are here. Makoto says that they... owe him a favor. Martina expresses her gratefulness for him stopping her execution order and asks if they can do anything else, to which Makoto replies telling her no, they're doing an excellent job. After some more conversation, Seth, Martina, and the peacekeepers then leave with Yomi's body to let Makoto talk privately to Yuma and Vivia. Makoto apologizes for their loss of Yakou and offers some faux sympathy. They're both... still conflicted about this conclusion, but Makoto tells them they're free to go, so they'll think about it later. Oh, but before they leave, he gives Yuma a little gift: a suspicious black box. Of course, Yuma can't open it just yet- it's a surprise!

Then the rest could play out pretty much normally (though an encounter with zombie Yomi chapter 5 seems inevitable and also awesome).

I think this alone would solve every issue I addressed before. The peacekeepers do not change out of nowhere. They simply reallocate power and there's still this feeling of them being a threat as they're now directly connected to the game's true antagonist. There's now a theme to Martina's return with Seth's presence as well. There's now a narrative purpose to that final section of the mystery labyrinth with proper payoff. And, most importantly, Makoto's motivations to use the detectives make more sense.

By the way, if any Yomi lovers think that he should stay alive for a potential return in the sequel... isn't it such a blessing that Yakou's DLC introduced this pretty neat little pill that could still make that possible? Just saying.

So yeah. Yuma, for the sake of narrative payoff and character writing consistency, please kill this clown. Thanks for reading <3

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

(I wish I could ask this in a video with GamingMagic13’s editing style, but I don’t have the energy for that.)

People say that, after Antibug, Chloé’s redeeming qualities started to show through throughout Seasons 2 and 3 because Thomas Astruc didn’t contribute to those episodes of those seasons as if he wasn’t on the writing team for every episode for those two seasons, including the ones showing Chloé’s redeeming qualities.

It’s not “Thomas left so the other writers started to make a redemption for Chloé, but then he came back and threw it all away”, it’s leaning more towards “Thomas, along with other writers, wanted to waste our time with Chloé pity parties for two seasons and trick people into feeling bad for her, which worked on plenty of reactors, and then yank the rug out from under them just for the sake of pulling a rug out from viewers” whether it’s the truth or not.

Also, do you get the feeling that, if people weren’t harassing Thomas and his family over Chloé’s “abandoned redemption”, Chloé wouldn’t have been made into evil incarnate to spite people?

Considering that the hiatus between Seasons 3 and 4 started towards the end of 2019, had to continue throughout 2020 due to the COVID pandemic with only the New York special to keep us busy in September 2020, and then finally ended shortly after 2021 started, that would have been plenty of time to rework scripts, because we know he was also on the writing team for every episode of Seasons 4 and 5 alongside 2 and 3, to made Chloé more and more unlikeable while propping up the male adults to spite Chloé fans, like several episodes of Teen Titans GO! and even this show are guilty of.

Whether all of this is true or not, I think it all lines up too well for too many other outcomes.

The "Thomas Astruc was able to completely rewrite the plans for this character and no one stopped him" take has always been a little wild to me especially since Chloe never showed meaningful improvement in canon. In fact, now that we've seen her story play out in all it's disappointing and time-wasting glory, you can even argue that Despair Bear was straight up telling you what we were in for since it's the same plot, just on a smaller scale.

As far as I know, there is no evidence for this "Chloe was rewritten" conspiracy. At the very least, no one has sent any my way on the multiple occasions when I've asked for it. Astruc is a credited writer for pretty much every episode involved in the Queen Bee arc and, while head writers have a good deal of power, they often don't have supreme power over their shows. This is especially true when it comes to kids shows since those have a lot of restrictions on what they can do. While I cannot speak French, I've been told that this class involves one of the writers talking about the multiple darker version of Chat Blanc that were rejected, leading to Chat Blanc being a season three episode instead of a season two episode like they originally planned.

These shows are products that are being sold to buyers who do have the power to reject the product and the writers work for a company. In most cases, they can be stopped!

There's also the fact that this is Astruc's career that we're talking about. You're arguing that he purposely messed with his reputation and screwed up the writing in the show that he's most well-known for in order to get back at online randos instead of just blocking them and moving on with his life. That's an insanely hard sell for me. Unintentional bad writing is a much easier explanation especially since he has nothing to gain from people disliking the Chloé stuff. This wasn't situation where Astruc needed to tank the show to get out of writing it. If Astruc left the project, then Miraculous would go on without him. While he came up with the initial idea, Zag owns the property.

Unless someone has hard evidence that Chloé was changed to spite fans, I am never going to buy into this conspiracy theory. Her bad writing is too in line with the show's other issues. Remember, this is the show that gave us Derision, everything about Lila, and Gabriel getting an 'ascends into the light with a smile' ending while his son sat the fight out and remains in the dark. Is Chloé really meaningfully worse than any of that?

I'd say no and, if you agree, then why do you think that she's so special? I've previously called her a canary in the coal mine and that's going to be my read until someone gives me evidence of something else. She was your warning sign that the writing was never going to be very good. I don't think she foretold just how bad it would get - that's why I kept watching - but her story showed that these writers were only good at short-form content and sucked at long-form content. In fact, Chloé's story is arguably better than a lot of the long-form stuff that the show gave us in season four and five. At least Chloé's story logically flowed together even if it was massively disapointing!

I also don't consider Chloé's season four and five writing downgrade to be all that telling because, once again, it's not unique to her. The class gets a similar downgrade in quality, going from "we'll help Marinette with her confession plans when she asks, but this isn't a major thing to us" to "we live for Adrienette and will make our own plans for Marinette to confess and force them on her/try to force Adrienette to kiss." It makes the entire class feels more shallow than ever.

Gabriel also gets a downgrade with his writing going more over-the-top than ever. We have things like him locking Adrien in a cell and using Adrien's amoks for no obvious reason even though Gabriel is supposed to get an ending where he dies totally at peace and ascends into the light. Totally nonsense choices just like the choice to make Marinette's inability to speak to Adrien because she's anxious into a full-out trauma response.

These are just a few of the many, many, many writing downgrades.

If you truly believe the Chloé conspiracy, then I'd strongly encourage you to watch at least the first of the videos I'm about to link and see if you notice similarities. I have all of them set to the specific, relevant timestamps in case you don't want to watch a massive video to see what I'm talking about because they all talk about more than the conspiracies that arose in these fandoms when the writing got "bad" (especially the last one. The conspiracy gets a very brief mention. I really only included it because I wanted three examples and just went with ones big enough that someone else had done research on the topic because it's not an area of fandom that I've ever waded into).

I'm linking these videos because I wanted to give you more than me just saying "this kind of thing happens all the time when media gets bad." Watching just a few minutes of each of these should give you the context you need assuming the timestamps work:

As you can hopefully see, the Chloé stuff is nothing new. So many pieces of media do something disappointing and then fans create conspiracies for why it happened, refusing to accept what is most likely to be the unfortunate truth: the writers thought they told a good story or, at the very least, they did the best they could within the confines they were working with be those confines monetary, temporal, and/or the limits of their own skills. That doesn't make the bad writing okay, you're fully valid in being upset, but there's also no need to create a conspiracy theory around it. It's probably not that deep. This shit happens all the time, especially in larger fandoms.

This is why I often give the advice of, "don't trust your mental health to stories that you have no control over." Is not that fandom isn't fun, I've just seen this shit before and I always feel bad for those who get involved with it. I've luckily never gone down the conspiracy rabbit hole, but I have gotten really upset when other fans continued to like a show that was bad, actually, and got a good deal of catharsis when most of the fandom woke up after the final was terrible. That still wasn't a good experience for me, though. It was not a healthy mindset to be waiting with baited breath for total strangers to agree with me that this random show was bad. I'm much better of bashing it with those who agree that it's bad, moving on when I'm no longer having fun, and letting those who like it be wrong (that is both a joke and real advice. Don't waste your time trying to change people's minds on something as insignificant as Miraculous. Just let them be wrong.)

[hauntingofhouses]

i know I've mentioned my interpretation of mizu's gender a million times on here but i don't think i ever fully elaborated on it.

so on that note i just wanna ramble about that for a bit. basically, it's my reading of the show that mizu is nonbinary, so let me dig into that.

putting the rest under the cut because it ended up being pretty long lol. also here have a cute mizu pic of her being happy and most at ease with herself, symbolised by her letting her hair down. <3 ok let's proceed.

thus, when i refer to mizu as nonbinary, i am interpreting mizu as a woman, but not ONLY a woman. not strictly a woman. she is also a man. she is also neither of these things, she is something in between, while at the same time she is none of these at all. i've said as much many times, but i just don't want people to think that when i say nonbinary, it inherently means a "third androgynous gender" that essentially turns the gender binary into a gender trinary. not only is that going against what the term nonbinary was crafted for (to go against rigid boxes and categorisation of gender identities), but also, not all nonbinary people fall under that category or definition, and that's definitely not the way i interpret mizu.

okay before i go deeper i'd just like to address some important things. first of all, this post is an analysis of canon, and thus everything i am arguing for is about my own interpretation of the show, and not some baseless projected headcanon i am projecting onto the character. please remember there is a difference between an interpretation (subjective; interpretations will differ from viewer to viewer, but ultimately it is firmly rooted in evidence taken from the source material) VS a headcanon (unrelated and often even contrary to what is presented in canon; opinions wildly differ and they cannot be argued for because there is no canonical evidence to back it up).

ALSO please note that nonbinary is an umbrella term. this means that it applies to a vast range of gender identities. other identities that fall under the nonbinary umbrella include agender, bigender, genderfluid, and so on. however, it's my personal preference to use the term nonbinary as it is, simply because i'm not a fan of microlabels (more power to you if you do like them and find they suit you more though!).

also, before anyone fights me on this, let me clarify further that gender means something different to everyone. it's not your biological sex or physical characteristics. but at the same time, gender is not mere presentation. you can be a trans woman and still present masculine—either because you're closeted and forced to, or because you just want to—and either way, that doesn't take away from your identity as a woman. same goes for trans men. if you're a trans man but you wear skirts and don't bind or don't get top surgery, that doesn't make you any less of a man. because gender non-conformity exists, and does not only apply to cis people! some lesbians are nonbinary and prefer using he/him pronouns while dressing masculinely, but that doesn't mean they're a man, or that they're any less of a lesbian. neither does this mean that they're a cis woman.

the thing about queer identities in general is that, like i said, they mean something different to everyone, because how you identify—regardless of your biological attributes and fashion or pronouns—is an extremely personal experience. so a nonbinary person and a gnc cis woman's experiences might have plenty of overlap, but what distinguishes between the two is up to the individual. there's no set requirements to distinguish you as one or the other, but it's up to you to decide what you identify as, based on what you feel. either way, by simply identifying yourself as anything under the LGBTQ+ umbrella, you are already communicating to the world that you are not what a conservative, cisheteronormative society wants you to be.

which is why i find all this queer infighting on labels to be so ridiculous. because we're all fighting the same fight; the common enemy is a societal structure that divides us into set roles and expectations purely based on our biological parts. that's why biological essentialism in the queer community is a fucking disease. because by arguing that women are inherently weak and fragile and soft and gentle and must be protected from evil ugly men, while men are inherently strong and angry and violent and exploitative of women, these people are advocating for the same fucked up system that marginalises and abuses women as well as effeminate and/or gay men.

anyway. i'm going on a tangent. this was meant to be a blue eye samurai post. so yeah back to that— the point i'm trying to make is that there's no singular way to identify as anything, as everyone's views on gender, especially their own, is specific and personal to the individual.

so with that being said, yes you can definitely interpret mizu as a gnc cis woman and that's a totally valid reading of the text. however, interpreting her as nonbinary or transmasc also doesn't take away from her experiences with misogyny and female oppression, because nonbinary and transmasc folks also experience these things.

me, personally, i view her as nonbinary but not necessarily or not always transmasc because i still believe femininity and womanhood is a very inherent part of who mizu is. for example, from what we've seen, she does not like binding. it does not give her gender euphoria, but is instead very uncomfortable for her both physically and mentally, and represents her suppressing her true self. which is why when she "invites the whole" of herself, she stands completely bare in front of the fire, breasts unbound and hair untied. when she is on the ship heading to a new land in the ending scene, she is no longer hiding her neck and the lack of an adam's apple. we can thus infer that mizu does not have body dysmorphia. she is, in fact, comfortable in her body, and relies on it extremely, because her body is a weapon. instead, what mizu hates about herself is her face—her blue eyes. she hates herself for her hybridised racial identity, hates herself for being a racial Other. hates that she has no home in her homeland. thus it is important to note that these are not queer or feminist themes, but postcolonial ones.*

* and as a tiny aside on this subject, i really do wish more of the fandom discussion would talk about this more. it's just such an essential part to reading her character. like someone who's read homi k bhabha's location of culture and has watched this show, PLEASE talk to me so we can ramble all about how the show is all about home and alienation from community. please. okay anyway—

nevertheless, queer and feminist themes (which are not mutually exclusive by the way!) are still prevalent in her story, though they are not the main issue that she is struggling with. but she does struggle with it to some extent, and we see this especially during her marriage with mikio, where we see her struggle in women's domestic spaces.

on the other hand, though, she finds no trouble or discomfort in being a man or being around other men—even naked ones—and does not seem stifled by living as one, does not seem all that bothered or uncomfortable navigating through men's spaces. contrast this to something like disney's mulan (1998), where we do see mulan struggle in navigating through men's spaces, as she feels uncomfortable being around so many men, always feeling like she doesn't belong and that she's inherently different from them. mizu has no such experiences like this, as her very personality and approach to life is what can be categorised as typically "masculine". she is straightforward and blunt. her first meeting with mikio, she tells him straight to his face that he's old while frowning and raising a brow at him. she approaches problems with her muscles and fists (or swords), rather than with her words or mind. compare this with mulan, who, while well-trained by the end of the movie, still uses her sharp wits rather than brute strength. this is a typically "feminine" approach. it's also the approach akemi relies on throughout the show—through her intelligence and persuasive tongue, she navigates the brothel with ease. mizu, in contrast to someone like mulan and akemi, struggles with womanhood and femininity, and feels detached from it.

thus, in my opinion, mizu is not simply a man, nor is she simply a woman. she is both. man and woman. masculine and feminine. she has to accept both, rather than suppress one or the other. her name means water. fluid.

as a side note, while i do believe mizu is nonbinary, i also primarily use she/her pronouns for her, but this is a personal preference. i find it's easier to use in fanfic (singular they is confusing to write stories with, but again, that's just my feelings on it, and this is coming from someone who uses they/they pronouns). i also lean towards she/her because it's what the creators and all the official promotional copywriting of the show uses. and even though i am a "death to the author" enjoyer, i feel that when interpreting things that are left open-ended, it does help to look at the creators' take on things. also because, in general, being nonbinary simply doesn't necessitate the use of they/them pronouns. nonbinary is not just a third gender. it's about breaking the binary, in any which way, and that's exactly what mizu does, constantly.

also, i'd also like to mention that one of show's head of story even referred to her with the term "nonbinary", rather than simply "androgynous" (see pic below). and it's possible this could be a slip up on his part, in which he believes the terms are interchangeable (they're not btw), but regardless i find it a very interesting word choice, and one that supports my argument.

so anyway yeah that's my incredibly long rambling post.

TL;DR nonbinary mizu rights 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻 congrats if you reached the end of this btw. also ily. unless you're a TERF in which case fuck off. ok i'm done.

[nuatthebeach]

I’ve noticed in your posts you always mention Harry’s endgame is Ginny or no one, but you’ve never mention it the other way around? I’ve always thought those two loved each other equally and they were each other’s endgames in every universe. Do you believe Ginny doesn’t love Harry as much as he loves her? Or that his love isn’t enough for her? I don’t think anyone could love, support, or make Ginny Weasley as happy as Harry Potter could, and I don’t think any man or women could make her feel the way Harry could, and vice versa.

hahah, i do do that a lot, don't i

the following is my opinion, and my opinion only:

to your point, yes, i totally 100% believe that ginny loves harry as much as he loves her. to be explicit, in canon, it is harry or no one for ginny. they have just gone through hell and back for each other that, personally, i just do not see them even considering being with anybody else after the war. the series ended in a way that implied that harry's main priority was going to be centered around building something with ginny, and judging by the fact that ginny never said she was going to wait for him, there's no canon evidence to suggest that she didn't wait in her 6th year (though, obviously, there were more pressing matters at the time.)

to me, it was always inevitable that they would fall back together. they would, of course, have many problems to deal with (harry's communication issues, ginny's fresh grief, harry coming to terms with ginny's very dark circumstances, ginny's sense of self-preservation, amongst so many other things that i think @whinlatter's Beasts does a phenomenal job of tackling, and i can't wait to read more. (those dang eggcups goddamnit 😭.)

now why do i talk more about harry loving ginny than vice versa? frankly because fandom seems adamant on proving just the opposite. and i absolutely refuse to give an inch about it. at risk of pissing everyone off, i'm also more likely to read ginny/other, if not for any other reason than to spite the haters. plus, ginny's love life is so interesting; if you think about it, she really "dated" all tropes of men: the toxic guy (tom riddle, if you count intimacy as not just romantic), the "nice guy" (michael corner), and the guy who's just generally a great person but not the one for ginny (dean thomas). how could you not want to read about it? and it's so beautiful, thinking that after all of that, she finds her way back to harry.

and...(tw) harsh truth alert... 🚨

honestly? truthfully? there just is more canonical evidence of harry caring about ginny. (again, this does NOT mean that i'm saying that harry loves ginny more than ginny loves harry.)

why? because unlike ginny, we can actually see inside harry's head. we know for a fact he thinks of her as his greatest source of comfort from book six. we know for a fact he thinks of her like family since book seven. we know for a fact that she is his last thought before he freakin' dies. we do NOT know for fact that ginny thinks these things because we cannot see inside her head. while ginny's feelings for harry are an interpretation (a heavily evidence-based one for sure, duh, i'd be stupid not to think that), harry's feelings for ginny are just...reality.

it's like arguing evolution vs gravity. one is a theory, and the other is legitimately a law.

though you'll still have people argue that neither are true, and...well. welcome to the harry potter fandom.

[borom1r]

for the asks, how do you feel things like autism/neurodivergence are regarded in Rohirric society (as opposed to Gondorian)?

I’ve been lettin this ask marinate for a bit bc I wanted to give a relatively coherent answer snfjjs. anyways blah blah I’m too lazy to find it and link it— the post is somewhere on the blog but that ask u sent abt the fellowship + neurodivergence n my comments on Gimli being Astounded that Men make these things a Huge Issue when you could just. work to accommodate people. That.

but like. okokokok so I’ve mentioned. offhand that i quantify my gender best as an ulfheðinn. I am a wolf and I am also a man at the same time. I know my brain doesn’t work the way people expect it to. human society is a struggle. I still don’t Get It, but at least I can fake it well enough — and that’s like. A Thing. we have stories of berserkir coming home from raids and never being able to adapt to life in regular society. + that’s iron-age Norse society, right, but we know there were 1) these niches that existed on the sidelines of society that one could argue served as an outlet for people with mental illnesses (and berserkir taking part in psychoactive substances before battle is. Highly Likely Bullshit — 42:01 for discussions specifically of hallucinogens; tldr there’s no archeological evidence of such substances in viking warrior burials + the last thing you want to do is run into battle intoxicated. any substance use would be for bonding + rituals PRIOR to battle w/ enough time to recover from any adverse effects) and 2) there was some level of care for warriors/vikingar who returned with what could probably be classed as PTSD (there is at least one saga I can think of where an ex-berserkir had married and had children; Egils saga Skallagrímsonar — Skallagrím went into a fit while playing a ball game with his son and nearly killed him. He was only brought out of his rage by the intervention of a servant girl)

anyways. Rohirrim. SO, the Dunlendings seem to get all the shitty violent aspects of “viking” culture meanwhile the Rohirrim get the romanticized Wagner-esque sort of portrayal where they’re all noble mounted warriors and that’s Simply Bullshit. but if we take canon as filtered through a pro-Gondorian lens then it’s easy to understand why the Dunlendings would be portrayed this way. I’ve said it before but I do think it’s a very natural conclusion to draw that the Rohirrim were once a raiding culture and I’d argue the conflicts between them and the folk of Dunland began WELL before the Rohirrim were gifted land by Gondor. all this to say like, I’m certain the Rohirrim (and Dunlendings too, but we’re sticking with the Rohirric focus) had at least basic ideas of how to manage symptoms of PTSD even before they’d settled in what would become Rohan

as for like, autism specifically. not to be like “all the Riders have autism” nfnsjfjsjf but let’s be. Oh So Very Real here. what do you do when your child is struggling and simply cannot cope with life in the village? when they need an even more rigid, structured routine than you can give them? when they have more anger than you can manage? when you’re doing your absolute best for them but they still keep getting into trouble and you likely have other mouths to feed and responsibilities to take care of? when even if you love them to the best of your abilities, they still chafe at their surroundings? send them off to be a Rider.

let them work out their battle-lust against Orcs, let them burn off all their wild energy on horseback patrolling the open plains, let them flourish in the rigid routine of a soldier surrounded by other Riders who may not understand but still accept and embrace them because they are all brothers in arms.

and this isn’t to like. GLORIFY vikingar/berserkir from my end. this is me saying very genuinely that if I had lived in that time, knowing how my brain works and how I both struggle with societal expectations And how I quantify emotions/relationships/the Self in a decidedly non-human way— if it was socially acceptable for me to run off and live in the woods with a pack of my brothers-in-arms As A Wolf, I would do it in a heartbeat.

I think you run into a lot of “that’s Brigdwine, he’s a little strange and he still doesn’t speak, but he tends the horses well and even the meanest stallions are calm around him” where it’s like. Yeah They’re Weird But They’re Part Of The Community So Who Cares? + on the flip side, there’s probably a smaller but not insignificant amount of “did you hear Sigewynn got a letter from Sigeofor? seems he’s made a good name for himself amongst the Riders. better than terrorizing the goats and chickens and biting other children.”

sometimes nobody understands you and nothing that’s expected of you makes sense and you have no idea what to do with your emotions and everything is Too Much All The Time. and sometimes the answer is “go forge an unbreakable bond with your Éored and kill Orcs about it.”

[sokkastyles]

So about that post we're both included in...the good thing about being at work when I saw that come through was that I wasn't able to respond. lol

I've decided not to respond but something they said that really irked me and wanted to get your thoughts on was this: In all that time between his return and Zuko's exile, there's no evidence that he (Iroh) ever tried to reach out to Azula

This comment and other's like it always irritate me because they always seem to leave out the idea that Azula has to be receptive to Iroh's help. They act like that all Iroh had to do was extend a hand to Azula and she wouldn't turned out the way she did. As if we haven't been shown that Azula has been dismissive of Iroh from a very young age. The idea that Iroh was ignoring her that whole time between when he moved back into the palace and leaving with Zuko, is just another way of blaming Iroh for not loving her enough. I highly doubt Azula was eager to spend time with Iroh around then and tried to avoid it as much as possible. Zuko was trapped on a boat. 😆 You cannot tell me that whatever short time they had together, that Iroh never left the door open for her. At some point, doesn't Azula need to reach out as well?

I'm not sure what I'm asking, I think I just wanted to vent instead of responding to that person. But if you have any thoughts on this, I would love to hear them.

P.S. Sorry for spamming your inbox while going through your old posts. 😁

No problem! Sorry that person reblogged your post to try and continue the argument with me.

You are right that Azula has to be receptive to any attempts Iroh would make to try and reach her, and what we know from canon is that she wasn't. That's why these people always say the doll doesn't matter, because it's evidence of Iroh doing something kind for his niece and her violently rejecting it because she thinks her uncle is a weak fool and her father taught her that people like that deserve to be treated cruelly.

But secondly, lack of being shown him reaching out to her doesn't mean that it never happened. Especially considering Iroh's character and the way he is consistently portrayed, it would be bizarre to interpret him as uncaring towards his niece just because we are not shown it onscreen. The writers expect you to fill in the gaps based on what we are shown onscreen, and what we are shown onscreen is that Iroh, even before his redemption, cares about his family and gets his niece and nephew a gift. We are also shown onscreen that Azula, even as a young child, is cruel towards everyone who is not Ozai, including Iroh, and burns the gift he gives her. Since these characterizations are consistent - Iroh being kind to others, Azula being cruel to others - we can interpret that the reason Iroh and Azula do not have a good relationship is because of what we already know, and that Azula is the reason they do not have a good relationship, and that she would reject whatever attempts Iroh might make to reach out. If the writers wanted to establish that Iroh was uncaring to Azula, it would need to be shown onscreen, since it contradicts everything else we know about his character, and everything we know about Azula and Azula's relationship with Iroh.

It'd be like me trying to argue that Ursa hated Lu Ten, since we never see them interact or get an indication that Ursa feels anything about him one way or the other, except for seeming sad about his death. But that's enough, because we know through everything else we know about Ursa that she is a kind person who cares about her family. Just because we don't see Ursa talking about or interacting with Lu Ten is not evidence of a negative relationship.

I agree that from what we know of Azula as a child, she did not want to spend time with Iroh and probably avoided it. Given how she talks about his reaction to Lu Ten's death, I also think even if Iroh did reach out, he would find it both difficult and extremely painful to be around someone who gleefully made fun of his trauma over his son's death.

Not only does Azula have to be receptive of Iroh, but there is a certain point where Iroh does not need to submit himself to cruelty just because Azula is a child. Azula is also a child with fire powers who is the princess of her nation, and her cruelty towards Iroh is approved by Ozai, who is now the firelord. Can you imagine what it was like for Iroh coming back to that after his son's death, in a world where he was widely seen as a disgrace? How much power does he really have in that situation?

Also imagine that Iroh also has to protect Zuko, who has newly lost his mother, from both his father and his sister.

Imagine, if you will, him inviting both of the children to play pai sho with him one day shortly after his arrival home, aware that he needs to get his niece and nephew away from their father, who now is their only sole parental figure, but also the most powerful man in the country, while he, Iroh, has been reduced overnight to the kooky, disgraced uncle. Even if Azula had accepted that invitation, I imagine that she does not respond well if she were to lose a game to the uncle she thinks is not a real general or the brother she thinks is weak and deserves to be abused. Imagine Iroh trying to problem solve between Zuko and Azula while Azula is shouting at him that he's just a loser who cries all the time because his son died. Meanwhile, Azula is also trying to burn Zuko for taking her piece in the game, and eventually Iroh just has to seperate them both.

And that's sad. It's so sad. I imagine it breaks Iroh's heart to see what is happening to his niece, what his brother is turning her into, just as every cruel jab she aims at him tears open his wounds over the loss of his son, his regret that he might have done something to help her, just as he might have done something to help his brother as he saw Ozai grow into the kind of person he became. We know these are things that are built into Iroh's character, but we also know that he's also not going to allow an abusive person to continue to be enabled, and there's a certain point where what Azula stans seem to want from Iroh is exactly that. They hate him because Azula hates him, and need an excuse for it other than the truth, that Azula was learning to be hateful from her father. They also hate him because he committed the sin of trying to protect Zuko from her and not allowing her to continue the behavior Ozai enabled.

We're also shown this dynamic between Iroh and Azula in the show, from the moment Azula shows up to try and trap Zuko and Iroh immediately susses out her intent and she resents him for it, tries to prevent him from helping Zuko think about what she is saying, and identifies that she needs to seperare Iroh from Zuko. Abusive people are really good at picking out vulnerable people, and also are good at recognizing the people who are less vulnerable and alienating their chosen victims from anyone who is going to be an obstacle, like a protector or guardian. That also increases her hatred of Iroh, that he sees right through her and knows what she's trying to do, and won't allow it. She's not going to respond to an attempt from him to help her because she wouldn't see any benefit to it, because he isn't someone she can manipulate or exploit like Zuko. And she hates that. She hates that she can't control Iroh the way she is used to controlling people, the way she thought she had even her mother under control. Until she learns to let go of that need to control, she is not going to respond to Iroh. Further, he is an obstacle in her continuing to have access to and control Zuko, which increases her hatred of him.

[i-spilled-my-soup]

could you explain your asklepios au ? genuinely curious and invested in the solangelo -> asklepios pipeline

alright this will be long. tl;dr it's a greek mythology au about mortality and righteousness and hubris and has like. no romance at all. if this is written i plan for no making out; hugs and kisses probably but romance lies only in interpretation. tw/cw for death, corpses

will centered and will pov where he takes the place of asklepios/asclepius/ophiucus(constellation was asklepios to the romans) in a sort of greek myth universe, like a camp half blood in 300 bce ish? in the relative time of the popular tales like homer's iliad and odyssey, virgil's aeneid. setting where songs and hymns are well known (let me imagine a place where everyone gets the obscure balls jokes i so adore). and important detail about worldbuilding, there are no powers. only gods can control the elements, and its only in threats/blessings that in modern times could be written off as delusions but in characters' minds is concrete evidence. nico is just some guy.

will keeps his canon mom and siblings and medical prowess, his frustration with death is amplified to an unhealthy amount. nico is still just some guy at this point

assuming this is a finite to be written work, the story starts after will and nico have gotten acquainted. nico does his thing, begins as a weird unfriendly guy but after being acquainted becomes a good friend. they bond over losing their siblings and feeling responsible for their deaths, less of a "you did nothing wrong" and more of a "yeah that sucks balls" kind of empathy. then will learns that nico is a child of hades(the guy) and (after an orphic hymn infertility joke) has to fight the urge to use nico to bring people from hades(the place)/keep them from ever going there

in typical nico fashion he disappears like fully. will is reasonably concerned and tries to look for him whenever he isn't practicing and teaching medicine in case of impending war with a neighboring state? this part is funny and i want to say war is the conflict because battle is the usual conflict in the myth and history i've read and also in riordan's series itself. turns out the guy is dead. yippee! (probably some scene where will sees nico but its actually just the ghost or nico visits in a dream or will actually just finds the body preserved in snow. the last one's a little too intense)

so will takes it upon himself to help give nico proper burial rites as a last favor. he gives nico a drug/ritual to aid in the burial process and accidentally brings him back to life. they both recognize that they have, unintentionally or otherwise, defied the will of the gods reigning and primordial. will is reluctant to let nico just straight up die again (for selfish reasons) and argues that nico could regain the favor of the gods if he did good stuff in his new life (supposedly selfless reasons). nico is skeptical but dude's love language is acts of service at the cost of his own health and comfort so he agrees

no one else had known he was actually dead and they pretend that he was always alive. nico gets himself mentally ready to die at any moment (cause psychopomp hermes could pull up at any moment) but will can't let go of how he actually resurrected someone. and the power before him is tempting him to fall into hubris

augh something something something. probably a battle and will saves more people and he is slowly going mad with power against his own conscience, defying the gods for his own goals of helping people

uh. eventually nico dies again. the feds(god) got him. will goes out into a storm to look for him, and to forage more of the drug that brought him back to life, and gets killed in the storm, supposedly by zeus(asklepios moment)

since will succumbed to hubris and consciously defied the gods he gets a punishment, and that's immortality. with his mortal person taken away he can no longer practice medicine. he cannot save anyone anymore, he has become the lost sibling and friend he had sought to rescue. he loses the solace(haha) of joining his family and friends in the underworld, instead he is separated from them for eternity. he will outlive everyone he knows, and will not be able to see them after they die

so here i imagine a dual bad ending. nico gets a bad lot cause he will lose his life at the peak of potential, at the exact point where he could find peace and help so many more people than before. will gets the same, where he can no longer achieve his aspirations in life, discontent with a self-serving existence, but now separated from everyone he holds dear, trapped in the realm of those he defied

potential happy closure ending? will escapes to the underworld and works under hades and sees nico once and even though he's torn away from the shades as per his punishment he is happy that in the forever he exists there he could see his friends again, that they could both be assured of another's existence and history and regain the selves they became in each other's company

fear of death prevails. but they won over it because so long as they could know each others' names it proves they had once lived? mutual immortality sculpted in the eternity of death?

[valleyfthdolls]

GGY is bullshit: an essay which has escaped my drafts thanks to @thatoneautisticfnaffan (why I don’t think Gregory is patient 46)

Trigger warning: discussion of harm to children, trauma, mentions of ableism, and other potentially upsetting horror-typical discussions.

Content warning: long

I’d like to preface this with the fact that it has not been confirmed that Gregory is patient 46. I looked into it, and no, despite what people have said Scott has not outright stated Gregory is patient 46- not in Tales From the Pizzaplex and not in Security Breach. Got that noted? Alright. Because if we bear in mind that not every new theory turns out to be pivotal to canon or even true, I think I can decisively conclude that there is no way Patient 46 is Gregory- something I first argued in a Google Doc I didn’t do anything with in January of 2022. Since I’m stupid and did that on my now deleted school district account having switched districts (I checked, it’s disabled,) I’ll redo it here in the same manner I did it then- breaking down each part of Patient 46’s mannerisms, personality, past and behavior that makes her a far cry from a perfect match for Gregory.

Derailing Immediately- FNAF AR

That being said, I’d like to start with one… weird piece of evidence I found on the fnaf subreddit. A man named “Greg A.” listed in FNAF AR as connected to the company and on the birthday list.

…A birthday list that proclaims this Greg, the third or even fourth known “Greg” in the franchise (if you consider SB and TFTP Gregory two different characters being two variants of the same one) to be forty-four years old.

That one disproves itself, moving on.

Completely Different Personas- CD 2

We are introducing to patient 46 in the second therapy CD, which, by the way, has to be violating these guys’ rights. Regardless, when we meet patient 46, she- as referred to in other languages- is sitting silently in the office, upset about how bright it is. The therapist tells her that when the window is blocked it feels like a cubby hole or cave, indicating that to be the reason patient 46 likes it. Patient 46 doesn’t confirm or deny this, and the therapist is unsatisfied with her lack of a response, and asks if she’s not talking “again.”

Now here’s something you’ll hear me say later in an entire section dedicated to it.

Gregory cannot shut his fucking mouth.

This is not an insult, it’s a statement of fact with an extra swear word added to be haha funny. Gregory speaks faster than he thinks sometimes. Even when it’s to his detriment, he doesn’t have a lot of restraint on what he says.

If he’d stayed quiet at the beginning, he would have been able to simply hide and wait it out. He wasn’t being spoken to, even, but still responded. In fact, when he’s with Freddy, he talks a lot, and expresses any source of distress with seriousness. Gregory is always actively reaching out to him for help, guidance, and support, which tells me he’s never really had any person to provide that given just how heavily he relies on Freddy, and that calls into question him being a therapy patient who’s been to over seventy documented sessions.

But even when Gregory is completely alone, he still talks a lot. He expresses any immediate thought. He talks himself through the whole parts and service section, for one.

The therapist then tells patient 46 that everyone associated with this company gets performance reviews. A, if the therapist is his school counselor like in GGY, she wouldn’t call the school “this company.” B, the wording of this implied patient 46 knows she is getting performance reviews, but not the therapist.

Patient 46 is associated with Fazbear Entertainment in some capacity, seemingly working for them given she gets performance reviews from the company and is familiar with them.

You know who isn’t associated with it in any capacity?

Mr. “Your guest profile is unknown to me, who are you” Gregory.

Logistically, Patient 46 isn’t a Child- CD 4

In the fourth CD, a second therapist has replaced the first, but patient 46 is unbothered by this. The new therapist gets to talking and asks her two things that stand out: not if she considers herself a hacker, but if she knows what the words hacker and phenom mean.

Now, one would suspect from this that patient 46 is a child. However, I did a bit of math. And this is entirely not necessary to prove my point, but I grew up watching 2010s matpat. I’m thorough.

At this point, she has been to 73 days of therapy. If she’s been going daily, this means it’s been just under three months. However, you don’t usually go to therapy sessions daily unless it’s an extreme case, in which case the therapists would not be half as lenient as they are. Usually they’re biweekly. There are 52 weeks in one year, meaning 26 of those weeks she attends therapy. She has been attending therapy for about three years to have racked up 73 logged sessions. Which is possible for a child, under one particular circumstance: they have some sort of early onset mental illness or have undergone a traumatic event. While that can be argued for Gregory, it can’t for patient 46, and it undermines itself. A perfectly healthy and happy child wouldn’t be attending biweekly therapy for three years. An adult who’s displayed concerning manipulative tendencies and claims to have untreated trauma, however? That’s more likely.

The reason, then, that patient 46 is being treated like a child is up in the air, but my speculation makes it a bit of a tragic thing that indicates these therapists are, uh, failures.

Patient 46 may have autism.

The evidence is minor and my reasoning is anecdotal, but hear me out. Patient 46 seems to be nonverbal. She doesn’t speak, ever, and it’s pointed out by her therapists as a constant and recurring pattern. She doesn’t talk at all, and it seems to be that the office’s environment is the reason. The one that stood out from the beginning was that she nonverbally indicates to her therapist that the reason she isn’t speaking one day is that the flowers are too fragrant. This is sensory overload. Being autistic, her brain can’t filter out sensory input and when the flowers smell too strong, it overwhelms her, and she goes nonverbal in response.

Unfortunately, if she is autistic, especially if it’s more prevalent (like being frequently nonverbal), she is more likely to be treated like a child, even in adulthood. Ask any autistic person, or ask me, I have a story of it happening in therapy.

One of my symptoms of BPD is stress induced psychotic symptoms. They first appeared in middle school, and I believed I must have been schizophrenic. After months of fighting to get a psych eval, it came back that I wasn’t schizophrenic, but I was autistic, which I had also suspected. My therapist hadn’t believed me that I was autistic, and while I had previously been “so mature” in her eyes, as soon as the confirmation came that I had autism, she told me my near-psychotic symptoms were just my “overactive, childish imagination.” That was used to describe my symptoms for years, by every adult in my life- my OSDD symptoms, derealization, the return of my stress induced paranoia, it was just my childish imagination, which had never been brought up before. Because I was now autistic, I was no longer mature beyond my years, or even mature enough to understand anything about my own brain. I was a child with an overactive imagination and no crayons. I was a child.

And my autism went undetected for 12 years. In the case of someone whose autism had a clearly visible impact on their life from the outside, they would be treated even more childish. Disabled and mature do not coexist in the eyes of others, not even in the eyes of fucking psychologists. Back to patient 46, having “lower functioning” symptoms, she would be seen as inherently less mature than others her age.

Also worth noting is that it’s not likely at all that patient 46 is in for her potential autism. She is undergoing cognitive behavioral therapy, which is used for conditions like depression, anxiety, PTSD, OCD, etc. It’s the traditional “therapy” people think of, but it’s not all that there is to therapy, and cognitive behavioral therapy is not often used to help with autism because it’s not effective unless the patient is experiencing a mood disorder or something similar- especially anxiety. Therefore, patient 46 being a child doesn’t add up from a logistic standpoint- the only reason a happy child without any mental health issues or trauma would be in therapy for years would be for the autism discussed above, but she wouldn’t even be in CBT like we see her in.

The more likely scenario is that her therapists simply don’t see her as mature, likely as a result of a listed diagnosis or disability like autism, even though she is an adult.

Canonically, Patient 46 isn’t a Child. (Gregory Most Certainly is, and a Traumatized One at That)- CD 6 & 8

In the next CD, the therapist decides she would like to talk about patient 46’s childhood trauma without giving her a say in it, something she also does to Vanessa- she just sucks bad as a therapist. Although the story sounds possibly reminiscent of Gregory’s backstory- “what happened to your parents, and you, was tragic-” I don’t think she’s talking to Gregory at all, not only for reasons that will come up later as I try to stay focused on a linear progression of evidence, but also for two other reasons.

Firstly, she refers to the whole situation as though it’s all over and done. Both here and later on she refers to patient 46’s childhood as a thing of the past. Patient 46 no longer is a child, and everything that happened when she was a child is history. Gregory, however, is a child, actively affected by his situation, and it would be unproductive and outright incorrect to talk about his childhood that he’s still living and trauma that is still a prevalent and completely unresolved part of his life this way.

Secondly, she claims that patient 46 spends a lot of time by herself- which, Gregory may too, being that he’s fucking homeless and legally nonexistent, I know- but also that she’s good at self talk. This is… not what self talk means. That refers to your internal monologue, good self talk means giving yourself kind and positive messages. You’d think a therapist would know this. What the therapist means is patient 46 is an introspective person, who’s good at looking inside herself and making sense of her thoughts and feelings.

This is absolutely not Gregory, ok? First of all, Gregory is like, eleven? Maybe? He’s a kid, and a kid whose brain is developing and whose emotions are beyond his understanding because he’s… a kid. Kids at that age aren’t going to be able to sort out their feelings, especially not about a major life-altering trauma. It would be, again, unproductive and completely incompetent of a therapist to expect a kid who lost his whole life to be able to do that.

Furthermore, I have reason to believe Gregory specifically isn’t good at making sense of his emotions. He tends to react to things like he’s angry when he’s really scared- he complains, gets frustrated about irrelevant problems, and even outright yells at Freddy. This happens as a result of anxiety triggering anger as a self defense response, and is a big reason people act angry when they’re afraid. However, he doesn’t seem to know that he’s scared, which to me indicates he doesn’t have a close understanding of his own feelings.

Roughly two weeks after this session, the therapist wants to know if patient 46 has written down what made her feel the way she did about what happened in her youth, and we are given the information that she said she felt “sad and scared.”

First of all, a stereotypical answer, and one that hints that she isn’t telling the truth. Second of all, Gregory is not going to easily be able to admit he feels sad and scared about anything. He never even admits he’s scared through the six hours he’s being tracked down by a serial child murderer. And if he’s sad- that’s a whole other issue. There are signs through the game, the way he doesn't want to let go of Freddy, the way he runs away crying in the ending where he leaves the Pizzaplex even though nothing is chasing him. The way he becomes more vulnerable over time around Freddy. The way that any time he is sad or hurt is because he has lost Freddy, and he is alone. It all reads as a deep loneliness that adds up with him being an orphan. Not addressing sadness or fear like this allows him to be defensive, to protect himself, and that’s what he does. He wouldn’t be able to get an easy answer that he was sad and scared about the source of 90% of this fear because he holds back those feelings and doesn’t even recognize them. He never addresses or really even feels his fear. The one exception is the disassembled ending, and that’s when he’s literally cornered by the murderer trying to put his face on a missing poster and has absolutely zero means of self protection.

Patient 46 is Desensitized- CD 13

After a few weeks where patient 46 seemed to be skipping therapy, she returns to meet a fourth therapist. This therapist informs her she’s been told to discuss the disappearances of two of her previous therapists, and the confirmed death of the third.

It doesn’t seem as though they suspect patient 46 did anything- not yet, at least, given how quickly the therapist stops discussing it. But while the therapist does say she “has to” tell patient 46 one of her previous therapists was found dead and doesn’t want to upset her, when patient 46 isn’t upset by the “news,” the therapist decides it’s fine to go right on ahead and tell her that her corpse was horribly mangled by what appeared to have been machinery.

These are not things you tell a child, and again, Gregory is a child.

However, patient 46 is also notably unbothered, neither the news nor the description of the body upsets her, and her therapist calls that out. Most likely, patient 46 saw it happen or at least caused it, and was probably unbothered then too. It’s heavily suggested, after all, that she is the cause of the deaths.

Compare this again to Gregory, who sees the exact same thing happen to Vanny.

Gregory does have one line that always struck me as something a kid shouldn’t say so comfortably- “okay, but you’d better be careful moving around. I don’t want to be crushed and twisted into a meat pretzel.” While the people I was playing with were amused by this line, I found myself… a little horrified. Gregory spoke so casually about such a gruesome fate, it made me think that he was from an environment where his wellbeing, safety or even life was at risk to the point he’d grown desensitized to the idea, the thought always on his mind.

What he isn’t desensitized to, however, is harm to others. He’s upset by the idea of the disappearances that are happening and specifically that they won’t stop. He’s worried for Freddy- an animatronic- when he’s in a weakened state. And when Vanny is attacked?

If he even knew Vanny was a human, I don’t think he thought through what it meant to call for the STAFF bots to disassemble her. It was a spur of the moment reaction paralleling what she’d said to turn the bots on Freddy, and one that Freddy had suggested. The realization seems to set in when they corner Vanny. He covers his face to avoid seeing it, and runs away in horror. It’s a horrific thing to bear witness to, something you can’t unsee. And Gregory’s obvious fear shows that. Bear in mind: if Gregory was really secretly an evil murderer, he has no reason be hiding it right now. He could stand contently and watch her get dismembered alive, the only witness to his behavior is about to die, but he doesn’t. This is a consistent issue with this theory. If Gregory is lying to further some malicious plan, he keeps up the “act” when he has no one to fool. When he’s alone with his own thoughts, he drops no facade, no different side is revealed- it isn’t a facade, it’s his real life and feelings.

Gregory’s Utter Technological Mediocrity- CD 14

If there’s one thing GGY and patient 46 have in common aside from fucking everything, it’s that they’re both unusually good with computers. They can both hack into the pizzaplex’s systems, patient 46 does it multiple times and GGY can’t even be traced. Damning evidence that Gregory is GGY and patient 46?

No.

Gregory isn’t that good with technology. He’s worried to use the maintenance thing at first because it “looks complicated” even though it’s essentially simon says with spoken instructions. The only real hacking we see from him is putting a magnet on an ATM with a big red sticker saying not to put magnets on it that he can even find a message telling him to put a magnet on to mess it up. He’s far from a tech wizard, and really it’s about as much skill as you’d expect from a kid his age.

Plus, you’d think he’d be able to dismantle the enemy animatronics for good, or at least more efficiently, if he was some master of technology. Or get them to stop attacking him by hacking them. Or even do something GGY does and hack his entry pass to turn it into a security badge to allow him to get wherever he needs instead of endangering his life running around for the individual passes for hours. But nope.

Moving on.

Gregory Can’t Even Lie, Let Alone Manipulate Several Adults- CD 15 & 16

These last two sound like I’m just roasting Gregory. I’m not, I’m dead serious about this.

As revealed in the last two tapes, patient 46 has been manipulating someone else through encoded messages- if I had to guess, it’s Vanessa, who absolutely is not distressed when around Gregory- and has been lying about her trauma from the beginning.

As I covered earlier, if Gregory’s homelessness was a lie, it’s far too convincing, and he keeps it up way too long, literally causing his own death in the bad ending. It also doesn’t account for the clear emotional distress he experiences related to these supposedly fake traumas.

Furthermore, there’s one specific thing that can ONLY be explained by Gregory being homeless for real.

Throughout the game, Gregory hides from the animatronics in lockers, trash bins, carts, strollers, and Freddy. Thing is, he could really only feasibly fit into three of those. Strollers are made for babies, and Freddy’s stomach hatch is not big enough for a normal kid, it’s literally for cake and piñatas. The only way Gregory could fit in there is either if he’s used to cramping in spots like that for safety, or if he’s underweight and probably short for his age, both of which become possible and even likely explanations when you consider that Gregory has been homeless for god knows how long and is probably malnourished.

Not to mention, we meet a major plot hole here. The last therapist finds out about patient 46’s lies by checking her records. Gregory, lying or not, is legally nonexistent. What fucking records are being checked? All she would have is what he’s said.

However, more importantly, to be that successfully manipulative requires a lot, well, skill, in lying and tricking others. Knowing what buttons to push, how to twist the truth. Gregory doesn’t know this.

I don’t know if it’s inexperience, lack of skill or a mental block against lying, but he cannot. We’ve finally come back around to it:

Gregory can’t keep his mouth shut.

Through Security Breach, Gregory can upgrade Freddy with three parts- Chica’s voice box, Monty’s claws, and Roxy’s eyes. The only one Freddy suspects to be from his friends is Chica’s, which he knows immediately. But when he asks Gregory to tell him what happened, Gregory gives him a nondescript, obviously falsified half-truth. He speaks slowly, thinking through every word, deliberately and obviously leaving out any trace of his involvement, and even pretends to not know the word for “trash compactor” when relaying the story- an obvious indicator of a lie, trying to pretend you know as little as possible. When asked if she’s okay, he doesn’t even lie either. It would literally be easier to blatantly lie and say “yeah, she’s fine” than to give any semblance of the truth. Instead, he offers a half-reassuring answer: “she’s… still functional.”

When Freddy gets Roxy’s eyes, thing is, Gregory had a perfect cover up and way out. Even though Freddy knew that he had just been at the raceway where Roxy was, and you’ve already stolen one part, he doesn’t even THINK to suspect these may have come from an.. illicit source. If Gregory simply had thought through his words for a second, and not said anything, Freddy never would have known. Instead, he basically told Freddy outright that he took them from Roxanne. He doesn’t try to back down, either, and instead draws another half-truth. “There was an.. accident in the raceway.” And technically it WAS an accident. Roxy jumped onto the track and Gregory swerved. And just like he says, “nothing seems to stop her.”

While the realization isn’t entirely there with Monty, this is the one time Gregory doesn’t stick his foot in his mouth and give away the truth for no reason. But even so, he hints at it- when Freddy says he can break through gates just like Monty does, Gregory responds “exactly like he did.”

Gregory, for whatever reason, struggles with lying. He’s terrible at it. But patient 46 can lie and manipulate multiple psychologists for three years without any issue.

I Hate These Books- GGY Wiki Summary Lightning Round

You’re gonna have a hard time convincing me Gregory is 12. It can probably be done, but. As I mentioned he can fit into strollers made for babies and hatches made for cake. This one is minor I just needed to say it.

There’s a weird incongruence between GGY and game!Gregory, in personality, skill sets, actions and motivations. GGY just feels like a weird mesh of Gregory and patient 46.

I know the last therapist tells Vanessa that she works with a lot of places, including schools, but… school counselors don’t do that. They work at schools. Therapists will work with schools when they have a patient at that school, but that is a totally different situation from a school counselor. It absolutely does not make sense for the therapists to all just be school counselors. School counselors don’t even do regular therapy- Cawthon, you are thinking of a therapist.

If Tony knew Greg’s real name why wasn’t he the immediate suspect for GGY? This plot feels inherently flawed.

Why the hell were the school counselors meeting with the students alone in the middle of the night? This plot feels inherently flawed.

GGY has a known presence in the Pizzaplex, has records, and owns a guest pass. Guess who doesn’t? Gregory.

No fucking way is this how they’d make a big reveal like this. That’s bullshit. Absolute bullshit.

Everything this Kid Does is a Fucking Fear Response- the Part Where I Psychoanalyze FNAF Characters

OHH I’ve been ACHING to talk about this. Gregory is a character so defined by his fear, driven by a survival instinct and the fact that he is a child who doesn’t want to die.

As I’ve covered, Gregory shows signs of both anger displacement and anxiety manifesting as anger for self defense. The reason anger issues are common in PTSD is because it stems from fear and anxiety. Gregory seems so grumpy because he's scared, and looking for the pattern in when he shows serious frustration, annoyance or anger this becomes very apparent.

However, fear seeps into everything else Gregory does. When he begins to doubt he can even make it to the exit alone once Freddy isn't there to help. The shouting, genuinely upset tone he says he hates the map bot in. Him trying to reach out to Freddy every time he feels he's in crisis. The anger thinly veiling distress and terror at the constant threats to his life. The way he stutters a bit when he talks to himself. The gasping, heavy breaths you can hear from him whenever he's hiding, uneven and shaking, sometimes even sniffling. The genuine panic with which he addresses every threat, whether anyone is around or not- solidifying it is not an act- and the way he tries desperately not to let it overtake him. The fact that you can hear him stifling a scream as Chica drags him into the dump. He may be no crying child, but the constant sense of "I am going to die" he carries is absolutely a deep, life-threatening fear, and it follows him everywhere. And when we see all of that, so clearly, I'm going to have a real hard time believing he was secretly the villain all along.

[kacievvbbbb]

Hello.....If you don't mind me asking, can I ask, what are your top 7 favorite media (can be books/ manga/ anime/movies/tv series) and your top 7 favorite (fictional) characters from any media ? Why do you love them? Sorry if you've answered this questions before......

Hello!!!

Sorry about the late response I usually use tumblr on my phone but i was having a hard time typing something so long so it’s taken me a few tries. 

Thanks for being my first ask! I would love to answer your question.

Deciding on my favorite all time characters was so much harder than I thought it would be. I think it’s because the character exists so thoroughly in their own world to me that it’s hard to stack them against each other. But I’ll do my best!

I’m going to split my answer between your two asks because I don’t want the response to be too long. Also, forgive me for I cannot spell and punctuation is my natural enemy. 

My Favorite Characters (as of right now)

Jason Todd a.k.a the Red Hood - Batman/ Red Hood Comics

This is pretty simple actually I’ve been obsessed with him since I watched Under the Redhood the animated movie and then went on to consume so much content about him. I think he is if not my most favorite character, then at least my most consistent character (I jump from hyperfixation to hyper fixation alot) So yeah he’s great. He’s very much a shining example of characters I tend to gravitate to in media. 

Kugasaki Nobara - Jujustu Kaisen

Justice for my girl Nobara. I consume quite a bit of media alot of which you could argue was originally geared towards menand so female characters are usually not the best or most fleshed out and so rarely become my favs which is why I hold the ones that do so close to my heart. Nobara is like no other female protag I’ve seen in shonen, she’s allowed to be so much she’s so mean and so forthright and she’s silly she’s a non-hypersexualized comedic relief character and that’s so hard to get with female characters that isnt just them beating up the main character who just lets them. Don’t get me wrong she’s mean to yuuji but in the way we are all mean to our best friends. Her moral philosophy is one of my favorites in the show, shes so complex and so fun and here powers are so interesting. I wish more would be done with her.

Ice Bear - We Bare Bears 

I don’t really have much to say here. Ice Bear’s just a cool dude.

Reigen Arataka - Mob Psycho 100

This is very basic of me but I love Reigen so much. I love mob to but Reigen just slightly edges him out because of his sheer insanity. The way Reigen is animated is so god he can never just do one action he’s so hyper and he’s such a bullshitter I love him. But really I feel like we never really get these kinds of  stories with “sensei” like characters. Cause in the beginning He’s presented to us as Mob’s master but it’s so obvious that he’s a con man but the thing is he still gives really good advice and in his own way he is genuinely really helping people. And he gives the single most best piece of advice to a teenage mc that I’ve ever seen. Like how often to you hear the master character tell their pupil that the right thing to do is runaway. That he shouldn't be responsible for fixing the messes of adults, he’s a child and should be allowed to be a child that all the villains are adults and it’s frankly pathetic that they are trying to fight actual children. Reigen simply is him and he grows so much in the way he treats Mob. It’s hard not to love him. Also he has no friends his own age so I feel bad for him. 

The Archangel Michael - Supernatural

There’s not much to say here. He has like 20 minutes of screen time across 15 seasons, but the ways in which I am unwell about him are limitless. He’s my poor little meow meow I will defend him to my dying day. 

Honorable mentions to those I don’t really think about often,and like more in the context of a dynamic, but when I do I go on an absolutely fanfic fuelled mania. 

Erwin Smith (AOT) - There is no canon evidence for this whatsoever but he strikes me as a man that is just a little too much like his mother (unhinged). This is solely based on a specific fic series but the ways in which I am unwell about this trope has implanted unto him. Also love his dynamic with Levi

Robb Stark (GOT)- Honestly I cried about the red wedding for 5 days straight and yeah I like reading about his dynmaic with Jon. 

Shinsou and Aizawa (MHA) -  cheating, but I like them as a dynamic and i flip flop between who I like better, especially in fics where Shinsou isn’t just a vehicle for trauma.

Mihawk and Shanks (OP) - We don’t really know alot about either, though Shanks has gotten a bit more fleshed out recently. I think if we ever find out more about Mihawk he would ascend to one of my favorite characters but right now all Ireally have are headcanons. Also I love Shanks I love seeing him on screen I find him such a fun but tragic character and i dont really know why but yeah he cares so much he’s like a slightly more weighed down luffy what’s not to love?

And finally the ogs

Zoro (OP) - I was so obsessed with him when I first started reading one piece. Love him and Luffy

Nico di angelo (PJO/HOO)  - I think mostly I’ve outgrown Percy Jackson but what kind of person would I be if I didn’t give love to the ogs.

and so here's my list of favorite characters very convoluted I know. I'll probably respond to the second half of your question tomorrow because this kind of wiped me. 😅

But thanks so much for the ask! this was fun

[stranger-rants]

This is why I do not vibe with these ''Steve was neglected by his parents'' ''Eddie was abused by his father'' ''Mike and Nancy were abused/neglected by their parents'' arguments because the majority of the time they are used in false equivalences and comparison situations. We literally have no canon evidence to suggest or make the argument that Steve's parents abused or neglected him. But in order to make Steve ''more interesting'', the fans constantly come up with the idea that Steve is neglected or abused, then they are using that headcanon argument to prove that Steve is abused/neglected but did not turn out bad when they compare him to Billy. Same with the Eddie stans arguing that he has been abused by his father, despite there not being evidence of this in canon. Do not even get me started on all the tragic headcanon stories the fans have for the Wheeler family as if the Wheelers aren't the most privileged characters on the show. Yet, the fans come up with constant headcanons to portray Ted and Karen as abusive and malicious parents to their kids to uplift Nancy and Mike. Despite there being no actual evidence to suggest that Mike and Nancy are neglected/abused in a malicious way.

All of those are bullshit arguments. The fact is that because Billy had no one, he was still being constantly abused without anyone supporting him, you cannot use those sorts of (headcanon) arguments to compare those characters' situations to Billy's. Billy's situation and abuse/neglect were shown on screen for everyone to see. That had an actual basis in canon with the obvious lines and on-screen portrayal. Also, harsh truth may be for some fans-- but using trauma/neglect/abuse arguments to bring down another character is nonsensical when those arguments are largely based on headcanons and made-up stuff that you came up with to attribute to your fan-favorite characters who have not even suffered in any way similar to Billy. the Wheeler family fans, Eddie stans, and Steve stans really should suck it up when it comes to this tbh.

I remember someone arguing that Mike is who we wish Billy was or whatever, which, what the fuck? …but they reasoned that Mike was a closeted kid in an abusive conservative household. Like, what? Yes, The Wheelers love Reagan. Sure, By/ler is a popular ship and I’m sure the fans have loads of headcanons about Mike’s family being homophobic but none of that is canon. What is canon is that Billy was called a f*gg*t by his homophobic father before being slapped around.

Get with the program people. Headcanons about trauma especially do not get to cancel out canon trauma. It pisses me off when people not only do this but “steal” Billy’s canon experiences for their fanworks while still treating Billy like The Devil. These people want their favorites to be the innocent victim so bad but don’t want to deal with what trauma actually does to people. I’m never going to respect headcanons that were built off of hatred of survivors like Billy. I will laugh at how ridiculous they are every time.

[kanamori-kamper-moved]

if you're still doing the ship ask game thingy how bout Fathershipping and Thunderstruckshipping for literally any of them

Assuming you’re talking about this!

I'll do thunderstruckshipping since barely anyone asks me about it, and this post it getting to be pretty long so I won't torture you for very long. Do send another ask if you’d like to see Fathershipping that badly! I loathe sevens but their my faves

~ Thunderstruckshipping (aka horrible toxic codependent yaoi!!!)

ALSO FOR CONTEXT MY IDEAL VERSION OF SEVENS IS A VERSION WHERE THEIR OLDER + THINGS ARE CHANGED PLEASE DONT MURDER ME

Roa is just. very horrible in canon and people don't seem to realize it lmao

-

5. Do they argue often? If so, what do they argue about?

They argue. Like a lot. Mainly about Roa’s constant cheating and stuff regarding Getta’s crippling inferiority complex. Roa doesn’t really want a relationship, he just wants someone who’ll be his yes man who he sometimes gets to kiss. Gettas seen him with his princesses, the girls, no, more like groupies (to Getta, at least), who he constantly makes false promises to. But whenever Getta does it, since it seems to just be okay, all of a sudden, there’s an issue. Roa has a fear of abandonment due to childhood cruelties and to see Getta abandoning him for someone else, even for a moment, makes his heart ache. For example, when Getta starts waxing poetic about Neil and Roa literally says WORD FOR WORD he should probably duel Getta or he'll get jealous.

Regarding, Tylers inferiority complex, their relationship is torn between jealousy and admiration, affection and aggression. Getta is extremely jealous of Roa because, at the end of the day, he gets the girl, he's the one singing on that stage and endlessly toys with his heart. But even then, he can't bring himself to leave. Roa hates him, or at least he thinks he does. He hates him for being normal, having grown up with the affection he chronically lacked as a child, He bitterly envies him and out of that envy, he acts out and borderline cheats on him literally all the time. But he is angry when getta does the same because it only validates his fears of abandonment, even if he hates and bitterly envies his dearly beloathed Getta-chan.

11. How do they feel about nicknames/pet names? If they like them, what pet names do they use? If they hate them, why do they feel that way?

Getta doesn't use pet names, evidently, Roa does. He has always been his Getta-chan and nothing more. Tyler has a love-hate relationship with it. It's affectionate and belittling at the same time, like in episode 18 when he confronts Roa about never coming through on his promise.

It gets Tyler weak in the knees and infuriated at the same time. In the same breath Roa is affectionately mewling "Getta-chan", he's being a little shit.

"Don't be mad, Getta-chan ♡ xoxo"

42. What’s their relationship like with each other’s friends/families?

Getta's relationship with Romin is simple. She doesn't entirely blame him for half the shit he pulls, because she knows its Roa's orders, but she's still pissed off he did it. Romin pities him, but she cannot help people who refuse to be helped. Besides, the last time she got involved she was sure she never wanted to be involved in that toxic doomed yaoi AGAIN

19. Do they wear each other’s clothes/jewelry?

Roa LOVES wearing Getta's T-shirts. It gets to a point he doesn’t want to give them back, he has a few hidden in his room that he wears to bed.

Getta doesn’t wear his jewelry or clothes persay but he likes the smell of him. He always smells strongly of perfume, and it’s intoxicating (mainly because Roa puts on too much and always ends up smelling like a chemical accident). He stole a bottle of his perfume once, he’s sure he won’t miss it…

[rise-my-angel]

And I'll admit that the previous ask was about something specific that I saw from someone specific - But the issue I was ranting about is nowhere near exclusive to this one case.

I have seen attitudes like this from almost all Jonsa bloggers, and even though my consistent reaction was "Alright, at this point you guys are starting to get into headcanon territory with how disproportionate your readings of the text are." I never really said anything about it as those blogs were my only access to asoiaf meta written by non-Targ fans back then.

The problem isn't even that these people have such interpretations, they can make House Stark as 'savage' as they want in their headcanons, I don't give a fuck. But people like this have decently big platforms to showcase their readings on, which influences a non-small group people to immediately switch to the same view as the blogger - Without any hint or crumb of acknowledgement that these interpretations are bordering headcanon - since anyone who knows enough Big Words to write a meta piece is seen and treated as some kind of thought leader in this fandom. (And depending on the niche you're from, you might get branded as politically incorrect for... daring to disagree with their readings.)

You also hit the nail on the head of something that bothers me, the way they word things. I've noticed that too, that they write in a way that is very intellectually structured. Sometimes I've genuinely struggled to follow because it feels like I'm reading something from a textbook. Long, big worded, high vocabulary posts that make it hard to argue against because the way they write their arugments is so complicated to disect sometimes. Which is intentional.

It's almost like a debate strategy. You speak so much and on so many topics that the other side cannot possibly respond to all of it reasonably, and thus you look smarter and right by proxy. A lot of those posts do that, and I have never really enjoyed that style of analysis. Especially when you look at their blogs as a whole and you realize they are coming from a very biased perspective, normally when it's either a targ/dany/jonerys stan, or a Jonsa. It feels like you're just trying to speak to someone who is looking to dismiss you before you can even say you disagree.

I don't need something to be canon to accept people ship it, but a lot of Jonsa's get very defensive when you point out the lack of genuine evidence for any kind of possibility of a ship. They do not like being told there is no proof for their ship, so they go on long, overly complicated meta analysis to back up points that they don't have.

Very typically these people do not care about Jon as a character, the only care about him as a vehicle to expand Sansa's story (i.e a lot of Jons scenes are apparently full of Sansa subtext but none of Sansa's scenes have anything to do with Jon what so ever because she is her own character whose life doesnt revolve around him). They dislike that her story is not heading towards any kind of leadership, so they interpret everything as bad faith as possible to put forth the idea that Jon is wrong for leadership because he represents the part of the North that needs to change.

I know some people that ship it that are mostly normal, but so much of that shipping base is full of people who are just using Jon and the North as props for making Sansa's story go in the direction they want, rather then the direction her story is actually headed.

Which makes me thing there is a degree of Jonsa shipping that is doing a lot of self inserting rather then interacting with the Sansa that actually exists.

[atla-confessions]

i’m not saying it was a lie, i’m saying it can’t be counted as an argument as ursa didn’t say it. read the comics for flashbacks of ursa’s parenting — it’s understandable because ursa was in a fucked up situation, but it still affected azula & we have canon proof from the show that ursa thought something was wrong with her.

Hearsay: information received from other people which cannot be substantiated; rumor.

Azula's words are hearsay. You mentioned it previously, Azula was 8 when Ursa left. She actually doesn't present any evidence towards the claim. She claims Ursa thought she was a monster. She didn't mention Ursa saying it. This belief is canonically Azula's assumption of what Ursa was thinking.

URSA NEVER SAID SHE THOUGHT AZULA WAS A MONSTER. If one is disregarded since Ursa didn't say it, so should the other. We are never shown treating Azula like a monster either.

Ursa loving Azula (and Azula knowing that) is supported by:

The "our mom liked Zuko more than me" i.e. her mom liked her, just not as much as Zuko

She makes Zuko play with Azula and Azula knows this will happen.

The hallucination scene, which is backed up as true by the previous moments and the complete lack of scenes contradicting and portraying Ursa as hating Azula (only being concerned by her behavior in one scene where she is engaging in actual troubling behavior when Azula is not present). Hallucination Ursa is a loving mother which is also how she is portrayed in flashbacks.

When Zuko discusses Ozai, we know he father mistreated him because 1) the scar 2) his attitude towards Zuko in the flashbacks 3) Zuko actually quotes his father as opposed to claiming his father knows how he felt.

I trust the hallucination about as much as a trust Azula's word on her mother's feelings that were not shown being expressed to her, nor stated to be expressed to her. The hallucination versus the Azula's monster quote are arguably both just Azula's thoughts and feelings on her mother presented in different ways.

If Ursa neglected Azula all her life then left when Azula was 8. How would Azula develop an in depth and accurate understanding of her mother's feelings? And: thought something was wrong with her -> thought she was a monster is an immense leap.

Finally, the post was not about Azula's feelings it was always about URSA'S feelings. Not Azula. Like I said, there is very little support Ursa felt this way, only that Azula felt she did. I am arguing about how Ursa felt, not Azula. The post was about people headcanoning that Azula's opinions on Ursa were all true and that she was a terrible person and mother.

X

[hopefull-mindset]

I should rewrite this one day. There are more engaging things to talk about in BSD, but this topic is dear to me. It’s also very painful. I didn’t write it with any plan, so some of my arguments are not as strong as I’d like them to be and I do notice that I brush some things off too quickly. There are also some things I’d change. Nothing too big, but I think could be improved.

I mean I wrote it in about a week or so. It makes me embarrassed with how I structured everything.

How do I say this… I don’t think abuse can be cleanly restricted into a box, but I find that others put too little barriers between it and other labels. I find that very annoying. That is why I established an understanding of abuse before anything else was to be argued because it’s so easy to not understand the difference between psychological abuse and one instance of emotional manipulation. They can easily lead into each other, so it’s good to know when there’s a barrier.

Here are some key points I made on another post for abuse that I think are generally most specific to abuse when put together:

Disregarding the autonomy of the victim

Uses fear and intimidation tactics

Psychological power dynamic that weighs on the victim

is repeatedly** forced to do/victim of something that causes psychological harm

(**if there is not much to argue for repetition, be cautious about how you’ll precede because that is important to labeling abuse)

This list is missing that abuse is a targeted thing by the abuser, but… oh well. Emphasis on together because they’re still points that can apply to other situations. Except maybe that last one.

When people argue for something as serious as Kouyou or Chuuya being abused in the Port Mafia, you need to be very careful with your evidence and how much it backs up your statement. This should not be a willy-nilly theory you put together and undermines the seriousness of the accusation of an entire dynamic. I need to know where you’re coming from and if you have any substantial evidence at all.

For example, let’s say I argue that Beast Atsushi had been abused by Beast Dazai.

I believe that Beast Dazai and Beast Atsushi’s dynamic had been abusive because of the emotional power he seemed to have over Atsushi with the Orphanage Director’s death and how he uses that to make Atsushi reliant on his orders the way he had Akutagawa be in main canon.

While I cannot be completely certain that this is a repeated thing of Dazai to tug at his open wound to rely on his orders the way had in this one instance, it would not be out of his thinking to. In fact, it’s reasonable to assume the reason he did not stop Atsushi from going to the orphanage and planting the irresistible order to not go there is to create this dynamic between them so Atsushi will not fall out of line in his further plans.

He had done this exact thing to Akutagawa by making him reliant on his acknowledgment, so that is why I think the way I do. For Atsushi, it is more about trying to make due with the Orphanage Director through following Dazai’s orders.

First, I argued for why their dynamic could come off in a way that would be called out as abusive. Then I made a conclusion based on what I know about those characters and why the abuser (Dazai) would fall back on their methods in a way that made sense for their situation. Because I was missing a key point in what made abuse “abusive”, I had made a reasonable assumption based on my understanding of those characters and justified why it would be a repeated situation.

Does that make sense? I hope so.

Because it’s the same reason I cannot understand the assumption that Mori had abused Dazai, or Chuuya for the matter. I find no reason in repeating sentiments I’ve already stated in my original post, but I find it hard to understand where some come from in their ideas. I’ve read many of the things people had to say and I can’t find myself agreeing in the long run.

“Being in the Port Mafia itself is abuse” is also quite iffy? That’s a very situational stance to take. It depends on the character and their circumstances for being in the mafia. Just because I’d argue that the Port Mafia used to be abusive for Kouyou and was for Kyouka does not mean I’d argue that for Akutagawa and the rest of the Black Lizard.

Being in the Port Mafia is not abuse itself because “it lends children to violent situations”, otherwise more people would be arguing that Kenji or Kyouka are being abused by being in the Armed Detective Agency. However, being in the Port Mafia can make you vulnerable to that type of treatment if you don’t follow the group mindset.

The Port Mafia is a literal crime syndicate, so I have no idea what to say at “Mori is actually abusing everyone by them being apart of the PM” because I think it’d be unreasonable for Mori to not exercise control over the most dangerous organizations in Yokohama and be harsh when the time needs it. What Dazai did to Akutagawa and Atsushi in Beast was outside of that.

No way in hell was Mori’s dynamic with Chuuya and Dazai age appropriate, but man. Abusive is a bit much, don’t you think?

Oh and when I compare their situations, I don’t mean that they’re exactly the same in regards to Mori, but that Dazai and Chuuya did go through the same motions in the Port Mafia. Chuuya’s relationship is more so positive with him in how he respects Mori and his leadership, but doesn’t mean Dazai’s dynamic is down in the trenches.

Ah…… this was just meant to be me talking about how people should try being more careful with the accusations and what I’d improve on what I said….

I’m not the end all be all stance on everything and I don’t expect others to always agree with me, but when you do disagree with me, have you questioned why you think the way you do? It’d be weird to expect everyone to start agreeing with me on what I think it’s incorrect, but I’m also entitled to my own opinion and have every right to stand ground on my thoughts.

I need to put this topic down, but everyone always brings it up. No one tries arguing against these things because they don’t know where to start and the fandom is ever so stiff about something they’re so firm on.

I wish people tried more and I do appreciate it when people do agree with me.

A Much Needed Overview

I’ve been brought to a point of feeling the need to discuss the abuse depicted in Bungou Stray Dogs. This isn’t the brightest topic to speak about and I understand why people are reluctant to speak in detail about something as serious as this. It’s not easy, so I’ll be the brave face today because I feel disappointed about the lack of deep discussion beyond the popular topic of “The Abuse Cycle”.

I’m happy that it’s at least brought up amongst everyone as something that exists, I’m happy that people feel as though it’s something to talk about, but I don’t think most understand how to act about it. It’s never as cut and dry as how it’s depicted in most other pieces of media or how people speak about it in general. That is why I am thankful for its depiction here. Not saying that nobody speaks about it with clarity, but it’s not the majority, unfortunately.

I especially felt this was a good time to address this because of the reaction towards Asagiri’s thoughts on Dazai and Akutagawa’s relationship in the recent magazine interview. The outrage is not from nowhere, I was also taken aback at first, but to claim Asagiri “doesn’t even know his own story” is incredibly self-entitled considering the story isn’t done, nor are you the one writing this. If you read the story, no way is Asagiri justifying anything that happened. Please look at the question that is being asked, does it say “Do you think what Dazai did is morally right?” Of course, it isn’t.

Not to be rude but before you start questioning the writer himself if he’s read his own story, have you read it? Please keep in mind the fact this is only a magazine interview and doesn't reflect every nuance. Asagiri doesn't need to go “Oh yeah, this thing that’s bad is bad” every two seconds to explain himself. Asagiri’s writing decisions can be questionable and cannot be uncritiqued, but I’m going to have to defend him on this account.

I’m not sure if any warnings are needed concerning the subject matter considering most BSD fans know what I’m about to go over, but to be clear, please only read this when you’re in a well enough headspace for heavy matters such as this. I am not going to be talking lightly in any of this or dance around what’s happened between any of the characters, abuse is harder to talk about compared to other acts of violence that are objectively worse because it’s a more personal act that too many can find themselves in.

Finally, I do not want to speak about my own experiences online because I’ve only come to terms recently with it and they do not reflect everyone’s response to depictions of abuse in all media. Some things are very uncomfortable to admit about me that I haven’t told anyone, that no one would be able to take well even if they were my closest friend. This isn’t about me at all and there is no point in saying more about my reality, but I think my perspective might help people enlighten themselves on how truly complicated situations like this are.

What is Abuse?

Surprise, we need to go over this before any discussion about BSD happens because a lot misunderstand what abuse is. It's disheartening that the term has been so simplified that nobody knows what it means anymore. Don't substitute words for abuse or use abuse as a substitute for other terms. Abuse as a concept is quite hard to pin down with words and there are many ways to describe it, but by definition in the context that it’s directed to another person, abuse is:

To target and mistreat someone, causing them harm or distress in a repetitive manner

This by itself does not describe the grand scope of everything and probably might make you more confused, but it’s a great place to start and does describe what is directed to the victim. Many sources will use varied wording, but it’s the general knowledge that someone is being hurt to a fundamental level that makes it abuse.

Does the abuser need to intentionally hurt someone for it to be abused? Yes, but not in the way you think. Most abusers are not hurting their victims for the sake of just hurting them, that’s illogical, they’re doing it for something. Some examples include either for themselves in some way or what they think is for their victim’s “own benefit”. Even worse is when they genuinely believe it because they’ve also grown up in an environment that has that same mentality and reflects on themselves.

So yes, it’s intentional in that they’re doing it for a purpose. No matter their intention though, “selfless” or not, it’s still a selfish act in itself that they think that imposing their own will through harmful methods is what the victim needs. The abuse doesn’t need to be physically harming another for it to be abuse. As long as it’s harming you emotionally or otherwise and making you raise flags in your head, it’s abuse.

It sounds strange, but I'm saying it’s intentional because you’re still an intended target of their abuse whether they realize it themself or not. Abuse needs to repeat a form of distress in you to be abuse. For example, does one instance of physical violence against you count as abuse when it never happens again? Well, you need to think about the context. Usually, this would just be assault and that’s it, but is it left hanging in the air to happen again when you interact with them? Do you feel afraid for your well-being, even though it doesn’t happen again?

That’s still abuse, the psychological kind. Typically when abusers resort to physical means, it’s gonna happen again eventually. In this hypothetical instance, however, the point is that repeated distress does not mean repeated actions. It does not need to happen the same way for you to feel unsafe, it just needs to have power over you. Manipulation does not always equal abuse either. It’s a tactic used by abusers, but unless paired up with other actions, it doesn’t fit the criteria of abuse. Context matters when you examine what abuse is.

Here comes the tricky parts that are acknowledged less: When the abuser is someone you’ve relied on in your childhood, in a detrimental part of your life, or someone you care about that you put importance in, and it makes it hard to fully hate that person. What the abuser has done to the victim does not entirely reflect them as people, even if it’s still an important part of them that needs to be addressed.

Abusive people are not only defined by their awful actions, they’re not pure monsters like most love to pretend they are. It’s just easier to think that because accepting that they’re just a multifaceted human being hurts too much when you’re on the receiving end of their worse behavior. But what happens when you’re on the receiving end of both? You try to justify it the way the abuser is because you can’t accept that what’s happening is bad and not something everyone goes through. After all, they treat you decent enough sometimes.

Something so many people need to get into their heads already is that abusers can be victims and vice versa, but just because your abuser went through something themselves or is important to you, doesn’t mean you have to forgive them. Abuse is not forgivable just like that, you can rebuild a relationship beyond that if you’re able to, It’s not a “forgive-and-forget” thing.

Not everyone experiences and responds to abuse the same way, some hate their abusers fully, some can’t bring themselves to, and some don’t even know what to think, but there are so many who don’t feel one way that regarding all abusers as heartless monsters completely invalidates so many stories and their difficult experiences. I have a huge grudge against people like this who restrict abusive situations to just looking like one thing, this is why so many don’t even know that their situations are abusive.

Portrait of a Father

Chapter 39 reflects my points the most, and at the same time, it also turns out to be one of the most controversial chapters. It surprised me that it is, but maybe I shouldn’t be considering how most people on the internet act about abuse. It’s a lovely chapter to me personally and one of my favorites.

If you need a refresher, this is the chapter the Orphanage Director died in and leaves Atsushi in an emotional frenzy about what to think and believe. I know that the underlying message of this chapter is confusing to some, but it hit me in the face point blank on how this is about facing your abuser’s death without any personal conclusion with them.

Being sent on an investigation, Atsushi, after finding out the body was the Director, is stunned and scared because he knows nothing of the director other than his cruelty. He immediately assumes the worst and that he was coming after him again. Atsushi’s thoughts against him are entirely… on purpose in the director’s intentions because we find out that he has gone through so much violence and loss himself that he’s projecting his own will onto Atsushi and making sure he’d “survive in the real world”. So he became his first figure of hate and violence earlier in his life so he’d be “prepared for what comes next”.

I know so many take the backstory for the director as a way to justify what he did to Atsushi in the narrative, but it was just to put into context why he was so cruel. Abusers are never cruel for no reason, that never makes it right, but it’s reality. Atsushi was not the only one in the orphanage who was treated badly, he was singled out by the director most likely for an ability he couldn't control because the headmaster knew he’d get the most trouble for it, and unfortunately… he was right.

Akutagawa being his informant in this chapter makes perfect sense. He can see that what the director was for Atsushi is what Dazai is for him. No matter how terrible their actions were, it’s what kept them alive for so long. It’s not pleasant to confront, is it? Atsushi agrees because when he gets the information that the Director was going to congratulate him with the flowers he was going to buy by selling the gun he had on him, he freaks out. No way the guy he was raised so long to hate, the guy who put him through so much suffering, was going to congratulate him.

I know to some, Dazai’s talk with Atsushi sounded like he was justifying what happened because “it made him a good person in the end”, but that’s not what’s being said. This conclusion I’ve seen some people come to about this conversation confuses me. Dazai is just saying the obvious, you guys get all shocked and it weirds me out how easily it’s been glossed over that the reason Atsushi is so self-sacrificial and trying to do the good thing is because of the director. The reason he puts himself so much on the front lines is because he needs that worth in being good to live and prove the director wrong, he was raised to see that type of person is the most ideal person to live in this world.

After everything that’s been dumped onto him in such a short time, so much inner conflict of what to think of a dead man he no longer can have any personal closure with, he asks Dazai what face he should make, what he should think at this moment. Dazai tells him that they’re his emotions and he can think however he’d like, but commonly someone cries when their father dies. So he cries, because ultimately no matter his treatment, no matter the intent and its effects, it’s still the man who raised him. It’s flawed, but that’s what a father is stripped bare at its core definition and that won’t change no matter your feelings.

Now that I’m done summarizing this chapter and making sure you guys understood the point and how it spells out their relationship, I can finally talk freely about what was happening between them. When it comes to familial abuse, generational trauma is so prevalent it’s hard not to talk about. The director is quite reflective of so many parents who were raised to grow up too early in harsh environments, that they think they need to prepare their children for it too, even though it’s no longer needed.

You don’t need to like someone for them to be important to you, especially if it’s a parent in your life or someone close to that. That’s why Atsushi cries. He cries for the director, he cries for himself, he cries that it’s finally over, he cries for the kindness he could’ve gotten even if it wouldn’t have fixed anything, he cries for the father that never was, he cries because his father is dead. It’s perfectly normal to keep someone close in your heart that wasn’t perfect and to grieve their death.

Was the director successful in what he was aiming for? I want to say no, but he did. He succeeded in making Atsushi think of others in a good light and do good for them, making Atsushi resent him, and giving him the ability to keep going. Hell raised him right, but it was still hell. The problem is that his teachings were based on degrading Atsushi into being nothing but a life he should put aside in favor of others. Even if he continued hating the director like he wanted, he would still degrade himself for being a coward who didn’t hold himself to those standards. The result is not perfect because the director is not perfect, but in his position, this is a success.

The director for a while was his shadow of negative encouragement when he joined the agency, what kept him going in those moments, because he was what defined good, bad, and justice for him in his entire childhood. Even if he was dead, he’d still linger in his mind. I can’t parse out what to think about these hallucinations forming Akutagawa and Dazai to guide him later on, all it tells me is that he still can’t rely on or trust himself and he needs more development in his self-image issues.

I see why fans are confused, hell raising us right is a bizarre thing to say to a victim, so let me show you a perspective you're not seeing. Let's imagine you have an abusive mother who only wants you to be prepared for the things you're undoubtedly going to experience because of what you can't control. What she did does help you, but all that goes through your head is “Why couldn't she have done it differently without my own suffering?” The only thoughts that come rushing back when you think of those memories are the unnecessary pains. It takes a lot for a victim to acknowledge this on their own, they want to push back at the past so they don't have to see this plain reality.

Like anyone else that I’m going to bring up in this post, just because the abuse made them who they are or affected who they became, even when it keeps us going through life and benefits us in some way, does not make the abuse justified. Abuse is still abuse, I addressed this already and I hope not to address this again. I needed to detail an explanation because it’s quite easy to hate a man you know nothing about and has been painted in nothing but a bad light. The anger against the director is undebatable because abuse is not debatable, but to pretend the cruelty was nothing but for cruelty’s sake is mischaracterizing both him and Atsushi.

You can’t pick and choose what’s been told to you in the text just because you don’t like a character and lack the maturity for it. It gets quite hard to do that sort of thing when it’s a character you‘ve grown to care about, it’s no wonder Dazai is divided between so many. Speaking of Dazai, his involvement in this makes as much sense as Akutagawa’s. He’s currently in a mentor position for Atsushi, no matter what Akutagawa says, and shows interest in his development. So of course he’s going to purposely stick his head into something that would affect Atsushi greatly. Both Akutagawa and Dazai are viewing this through their lenses as people who grew up in the darkness of society, and it’s not that Dazai thinks what happened to him wasn’t terrible, you should have eyes to read the panels provided, but he’s generally unfazed and able to sound neutral because he’s used to that cruelty.

The Port Mafia’s Environment

(Aka: is it really “all Mori’s fault” or is it just the product of being literally in The Mafia™?)

I’ll go over the “Cycle of Abuse” in a second, but please keep in mind that you can’t just blame everything on Mori. Just like the Director, it’s so easy to pin the guy who’s just been the worst for every problem there, but it decimates the other characters involved as well and makes what they’ve gone through go flat because you’re restricting it to a misinformed presumption.

To make a bold statement, I need you to completely throw away your idea of what the abuse cycle is. The Mori to Kyouka pipeline being the singular “Abuse Cycle”? Garbage, needs to go away too. I've seen many fans use the term “Cycle of Abuse” too carelessly, and while from afar the way they're using it is not technically wrong, they have the wrong thought process behind it.

The Cycle of Abuse is simply the patterns of what keeps us in an abusive dynamic and negative mental state, either with an individual or environment, and makes it incredibly hard for anyone to leave. It’s not the actions you take that make it the Cycle of Abuse, and it's not just one straight line of people going through similar motions. You don’t have to be someone’s abuser to be the one who keeps them there, if you feed into it you’re still a problem. Even if you don't actively add to it yourself, just staying there as a bystander and not trying to do anything to change it or speak up for the victim when you clearly could also still make you responsible. Just with your presence, it validates what they've gone through as normal.

If you need more of an explanation, two opposite examples include Higuchi & Akutagawa and Beast Kyouka & Atsushi. Higuchi is a traditional example in that she stays in the mafia because of her relationship with Akutagawa, and stays by his side for reasons unknown. What we do know is that she’s incredibly indebted to him enough to care for him to an extreme extent, but their relationship is abusive all the same. Beast Atsushi and Kyouka sounds strange for me to bring up, but this is an example of a non-abusive person contributing to the Cycle of Abuse. Instead of taking her out of an abusive situation, he brings her back in.

Many characters are a part of this main narrative of abuse in BSD, so it's not inaccurate to say Mori, Dazai, Akutagawa, and Kyouka are a part of it as well using this definition as all of them are the reason or contributed to why someone was stuck in a negative, abusive situation or the victim themselves. I’m guessing none of you are genuinely referring to this though and are referring to intergenerational abuse, a repeating cycle of younger generations taking after their abusers when they're older, which is a completely different phenomenon. Both are referred to as cycles and have many commonalities, but it’s not the same. Not to sound like a total dick, but this barely even applies to them.

Not because the concept is based on familial relationships, it can happen with older figures in your life too, but because our oh-so-famous Abuse Cycle gang does not have that commonality to make that claim. They have narrative parallels, but that’s pretty much it. I will save what I have to say in their sections, but Mori and Akutagawa did not abuse Dazai and Kyouka respectively for this type of claim to have any legitimacy. Kyouka certainly broke a cycle, but not that kind since that would need her to continue it in the first place and then prevent her own experiences from even affecting the next child.

What do all Mori, Dazai, Akutagawa, and Kyouka actually have in common? They are/were in the mafia, using their natural talents of cruelty for the underworld.

The Port Mafia resembles something of an abusive household or community that sees so much of what’s done to others there as normal, and constantly compares it to how it was with their old boss and thinks, “At least it wasn’t as bad as that.” It’s quite like the Orphanage Director’s thinking but on a larger scale. Does that make everyone in the Port Mafia abused? Nope, unlike most abusive communities, the Port Mafia is quite literally the mafia. Everyone is there for different reasons, at different ages, and different experiences. Everyone is taken advantage of in these situations, no matter the circumstances, but it doesn’t make them abused automatically.

So it’s hard to have a stance on anything about them being abusive other than the mentor situations in the Port Mafia don’t see abuse as abuse and just another way to teach their subordinates to survive in their world if they deem it necessary. Was Chuuya abused, either by Mori or Kouyou then? I’m going to have to say I can’t tell you that. We don’t have enough information on either of his dynamics with them to say that they’ve directly had any repetitive behaviors of direct harm against him specifically, and there's no reason for them to do so either. I’m not going to use the argument that “Chuuya doesn’t hate or fear them, so that must mean he wasn’t” because again, that type of response does not reflect so many situations.

Chuuya was still harmed by being in the Port Mafia as a teenager because nobody should have been surrounded by this much cruelty at that age. It doesn’t matter if he shows visible distress or not about the Port Mafia, he was just desensitized to it since his sheep days. So was he an abuse victim under the idea that being a child in the Port Mafia is abuse? That depends on who we’re speaking of, but in Chuuya’s situation, I'm going to have to say no as he's already internalized their mindset from his own experiences separate from the mafia. Keep in mind that it also still holds true that you can find family in situations like this, it’s not mutually exclusive. Some just find more comfort in what they’re used to than what would be better for them. Kyouka is a better example of someone being a victim of an abusive community.

A false claim I've seen made many times are the ones where they have it as if Mori is the mafia itself or that he made the mafia what it was. It shouldn’t be too surprising, but it’s the opposite. Mori already held flawed, heartless, calculative methods when in situations he thought required them. We’ve seen him as a soldier and an underground doctor, but we know nothing else about him outside of his cruelty, just like the headmaster. What he does is never for what he thinks is for his benefit, but for the sake of something larger. Whether it’s for the city, the country, or eventually, the Port Mafia.

The mafia is the first time he’s been put into a position of absolute leadership and is not yet accustomed to that at the beginning of Dazai, Chuuya, Age Fifteen. He’s able to quickly fit the mold of a mafia boss, but there’s that bit of honesty that peaks through in this light novel in the first and last sections that’s ignored too quickly. First Mori complains about nothing going immediately right, questions himself about Dazai, and becomes genuinely stressed if it was the right decision to involve him, then confesses that he sees himself in Dazai to him (and him and Fukuzawa in Soukoku in private), and finally gives his honest take of leadership to Chuuya.

I already go over Mori as a character in one of my other posts and will speak more of him later on, so I don’t want to reiterate the same points, but here we have proof he has (albeit poor) humanity. He did not become the Port Mafia boss for his own selfish gain of power if you’ve forgotten, but because Natsume introduced him to becoming part of the Tripartite Framework to protect the city he loves, it’s where he’d excel best in this plan. The Port Mafia was already a shithole, Mori just made it livable again by becoming what an organized crime group needs.

It’s what makes the dynamic between Kouyou and him so intriguing because you have an abuse victim who has embraced the environment she was forced back into, but won’t let go of someone who’s proven to be more of a decent leader than her tormentor and can be relied on. For victims who couldn’t get help or realize they needed help, the easier path is to accept this is your life through some justification. While I said the Port Mafia resembles an abusive community, communities as such aren’t purely terrible and that’s what keeps them justifying it in their head. The family you have for yourself, whether it's a made one or the one you're born with, is what sticks for you.

Like it or not, Mori isn’t stupid. He takes risky gambles that backfire on him sometimes, but he’s good at his job. He’s brutal enough to prove his own against the people who didn’t think he should’ve been boss and outsiders who want to go against the Port Mafia, but he’s considerate enough towards his people and shows enough competency to be perfect for the job. He’s not a great human being, but what did you expect? He no longer had any room to express that humanity, he never had; there was no benefit from being a good person in his line of work.

The Heartless Cur

That looked like a great segue to talk about Dazai and Mori’s dynamic, but it’d benefit to go over Akutagawa first. For those who do acknowledge it as an abusive situation, Thank you for at least taking that step. Numerous don’t and it worries me at the state of what’s considered abuse vs. training. It may be both at times but don't excuse one for the other. Training needs formal consent and communication at some point during a session. Akutagawa is learning, but it’s the same as getting yelled at as a child for not doing your homework right, when again, you’re still just learning.

It might’ve been easier to see for those who do acknowledge it because of the visible physical abuse that happens, but let's not undermine the psychological abuse happening as well. Dazai has messed with his psyche on an abhorrent level through his degrading and threats, making him reliant to hear a single word of acknowledgment from his mouth. What happened to Akutagawa is beyond the mafia’s environment.

Akutagawa does not hate or want Dazai dead for what he’s done to him, but he does hold anger at the seeming abandonment he’s been put through… and at himself as well. Anger that he couldn't get to what Dazai wanted him to be before he suddenly left. So he proves himself by climbing the ranks and becoming someone feared. Spectacles of violence not because he enjoys the feeling of other’s suffering or the power over them, but to show Dazai that see? He's still worth looking at!

He stays in the mafia because he’s found a place there. Even if he could, there was no point in leaving the mafia after he disappeared because what would be left for him if he did? He will always be an unchangeable, horrific hound of the dark and there's no changing that in his mind. From an inference of his actions in the dungeon when they finally reunite one-on-one, he wanted to believe that he was above Dazai after all those years, but Dazai doesn't act impressed or scared or anything. After all that effort, he gets nothing but ridicule and mockery like he's back to being that little kid with an oversized coat too big for his body.

Worse is that he gets told that some new kid Dazai picked up, who didn't train to the extent he did to refine his abilities, is better than him somehow. He gets riled up and at first, takes out on Dazai, but all those threats about killing him and how he went against the mafia were empty. Even now he can't bring himself to hate Dazai, he needs his mentor to acknowledge him no matter what side he's on. He never let go of Dazai, his coat is proof enough of that. So he takes it out on the party that isn't responsible and is convinced he needs to overcome Atsushi to prove something to Dazai.

He doesn't hate Atsushi, not genuinely. He does the same when he’s told he’ll never compare to Odasaku, someone who objectively should’ve been the weakest member due to his status. He gets angry at Dazai’s words, gets angry at himself, then takes it out on the person mentioned, rinse and repeat. I’m not sure if I’m the only one to notice, but he genuinely believed that the meaningful life Dazai gave him laid in the mafia and being useful to its cause. He has no reason to be as loyal to the mafia if he didn't think this.

Dazai’s acknowledgment means more than just appreciation for his skills and strength, it means his life meant something by striving for being the strongest. It’s not about the acknowledgment at all. Whenever he critiques and shames Atsushi for how he lives his life, it just feels like he’s unknowingly shaming himself through him without having to acknowledge his wrongs. It makes me curious about how much the acknowledgment itself even matters to him and the validation it gives him to strive for this is an excuse to keep living so what he’s doing in the mafia even matters in the end. What counts as acknowledgment to him?

He's convinced his faults are what made Dazai turn away, he just doesn’t know how to do anything to fix it and can't fix it this late into the game. What does Dazai want from him other than being stronger? When Dazai directly asks him to do something important involving Atsushi, he’s confused. He has no reason to trust him to do these missions. He’ll take the chance to prove himself once and for all, but to be included means he's being acknowledged, so what gives? The number of times he visibly self-reflects can be counted on one hand because as soon as it shows, he goes back to justify his violence and ignores his faults.

As someone whose favorite character is Akutagawa, I’m disgusted that all people can take away from him is “Akutagawa is an obsessive fanboy that deserves no sympathy because of what he did to Kyouka” or “Akutagawa is a poor, miserable man that didn’t deserve what Dazai made him into and should be absolved of responsibility because it’s all Dazai’s fault”. Both are very shallow and very harmful to perpetrate as they continue the idea that a person can only be the abused or abuser. He's both and it's okay to admit that.

Quickly let’s clear up this: He is not the way he is because of Dazai.

What Dazai IS responsible for:

Akutagawa’s need for his constant approval and recognition

Akutagawa learning to hone his ability

Akutagawa’s toxic views of being useful

The reason Akutagawa’s still alive

The reason Akutagawa is the Mafia’s dog

What Dazai is NOT responsible for:

Everything else

Akutagawa’s lean toward violence, his one-track stubborn mindset, and his lone-wolf attitude are not a product of Dazai’s treatment, he’s always been that way because of his time in the slums. He got beaten down by adults frightened of his empty gaze, had to learn to protect himself and find something to eat to survive, helped take care of his sister Gin and his friends by himself, and everyone constantly dying around him. That’s the real reason his personality is like that. He is a victim of his circumstances in a society that deemed him worthless, so he also thinks of his life as worthless. That’s why Dazai means so much to him.

Dazai did not trick him into joining the mafia, Dazai expressed what he was going to go through was worse than what happened in the slums and gave Akutagawa an out that he could live a normal life with enough money, but he knew Akutagawa would not refuse because he still needed meaning in living, just like him. Gaining enough money to get by so he and his sister could get out of the slums would do nothing for him, he already felt that his life was worthless. He has no problem throwing it away at any time, he was gonna die young regardless because of his lung disease. It has manipulative undertones, but that's how Dazai usually is with even the people he cares about.

Akutagawa knows too well that a person needs a sign, someone to tell them it’s okay to keep going, and so does Dazai. Part of Dazai’s goal is to save Akutagawa from dying and give him a reason to live like he promised that day because he sees the potential that could come from his development. I don't want to sound like a dick again, but you’d have to be dense to think Akutagawa would still be dead by the end of this arc. He isn’t sending him off to his death, Dazai doesn’t know everything.

Even if he knew Akutagawa might die there, it's better than both Atsushi and Akutagawa dying at that moment. If Akutagawa didn’t want to die for him, he wouldn’t have, he chose to save Atsushi’s life. This is why I have to defend Asagiri. Let’s reread the interview together, to make it get across already.

(Twt link)

Q: Just like how Akutagawa and Atsushi's relationship has changed, I could feel the relationship between Dazai and Akutagawa moving forward too. Is it like what Akutagawa has said in Episode 3 of Season 5, that every order he has received from Dazai so far has been "a trial", "a part of a meaningfull life"?

First, the question being asked. They’re asking Asagiri about their relationship in the present, and how it’s developed. Akutagawa is no longer thinking he was abandoned by Dazai for a new, better student like he was made him believe, that was just to rile him up and interact with Atsushi more. Instead, he realizes that he’s not supposed to work against Atsushi, he’s supposed to work with him. How he decides to go about that battle with Fukuchi and whether or not he works with Atsushi like a partner is his trial. If this was Akutagawa before he met Atsushi, he would’ve no doubt escaped or might’ve thought defeating Fukuchi would prove himself to Dazai. He's not an obstacle to his meaningful life, his quest for a meaningful life lies with Atsushi.

Asagiri responds with:

Asagiri: Needless to say, Dazai is the most qualified person in this world to help Akutagawa grow. Dazai has a vision for Akutagawa's development, and he completely understands what it takes to achieve it. We, as obsevers, can only see bits and pieces of that vision. But I can at least say that Dazai's training plan has never been wrong.

Many find this answer questionable, I was stunned reading it myself. Asagiri is not wrong at all here though, Dazai is objectively the only person in this series who can find a way to help him. Atsushi is the endpoint, but Dazai has been guiding him to this point. Dazai himself said that he was planning to team them up the moment he met Atsushi, he was still thinking of him even after all these years. There are much scarier implications than thinking that Asagiri was wrong. It's that Dazai was doing everything intentionally to get Akutagawa’s mindset where it was. He didn't mess up with Akutagawa, he just couldn't personally teach him the skills he needed and chose a different route until he found something that could.

Asagiri is not saying the abuse was morally justified, but the intention behind it was not wrong in an objective stance. Dazai would know what to do the most because of his understanding of wanting to find meaning in living. Teenage Dazai couldn’t have achieved much by himself, even if he could understand since he also could not find meaning in life. That’s why he made him hang on to his every breath of validation so he would keep his faith in Dazai long enough for him to find a solution to this dilemma. The moment in life when he found Akutagawa was not ideal and he still did what he thought he had to do for him to survive in the mafia. Without his ability, he's incredibly weak and needs to be able to defend himself. A violent person could not have made another violent person unlearn their violence.

You could say he just wanted a weapon, but that’s not it, not even close. Many of you are stuck on the part that it was a suicidal teenager that picked Akutagawa up from the slums and that no way someone like that could teach another suicidal teenager anything, so it’s “comical that Asagiri thinks as though he’s the most qualified”. You’re not wrong in some sense, but this is still incredibly intelligent, “Black Wrath of the Port Mafia”, Osamu Dazai, and not just some suicidal teenager.

He’s also no longer a teenager. Right now we’re talking of Dazai in the present who’s grown and no longer needs to be how he was in the mafia, he has Atsushi now, someone who can help Akutagawa see what’s wrong in his outlook. The only thing he could’ve done back then was to shelter Akutagawa so he wouldn’t kill himself. It's horrible, but Dazai validating where he is now would do no good for either of them and fix nothing.

Q: What kind of person is Dazai to Akutagawa?

Asagiri: Actually, at the time of "The Dark Era", Dazai already spoke very highly of Akutagawa, as someone who would "become the Mafia's strongest skill user in the not-so-distant future". He just doesn't say that in front of Akutagawa himself. The reason he doesn't say it is that Dazai has to be "the presence that continues to give meaning to life" to Akutagawa. So far, that trial has been completely successful.

None of what Asagiri brings up is new information. He doesn’t say it in front of Akutagawa not to spite him, but if he gives these praises out too freely, he loses his distant, almost god-like presence in Akutagawa and will go back to being just a lone wolf with no exceptions that will carelessly get himself killed. Without any goal, he’s lost. Just like Atsushi and the headmaster and how Atsushi hinges on proving he can do a good thing to motivate his life, Akutagawa similarly hinges on the fact that if he fails, he won’t get Dazai’s approval.

However, his death was not fully about Dazai’s approval in the way he's been preaching. In chapter 87, he mentions Dazai’s approval like always, and when they fail the first time even after trusting and working with each other as Shin Soukoku should, It hits him. What came into his head I cannot parse out at the moment, but his actions speak so much louder than any explanation we could've gotten. Of course, he's helping Atsushi escape, but what does he do for that? He used his ability on his shirt, and not just on the coat like he typically does.

It doesn't seem like a big deal at first, he could've always done that, but when was the last time he used it on something that wasn't the coat Dazai gave him? The coat means many things. His new beginning, his path in being Dazai’s student and successor (as that was also Mori’s coat), but it also conveys Dazai’s will that keeps him alive and that he's only strong with his coat. Without it, he's defenseless, so he clings to this coat the exact way he clings to those orders. It's his encouragement to keep going when Dazai isn't there. This overwhelming, suffocating responsibility, an oversized coat, is a lot to give to a kid but it's comfortable and he’ll grow into it eventually.

It was already a huge step in his development that he gave Atsushi his coat, but to use his ability not on his coat means he's making an effort to overcome his fixation and do an action unrelated to Dazai for the sake of Atsushi’s life. His whole life after the slums, everything he's ever done was with Dazai in mind. Him saving Atsushi’s life was not because he was doing what Dazai wanted him to do, that he'd finally get approval for doing It, and in turn give his life meaning before he died. When he saved Atsushi, it would give his life meaning in just that. He shouldn't let himself be defined by the past the way he criticizes Atsushi for, so he’s going to choose his meaning. I wouldn't say he's moved past Dazai yet, but he's getting there.

Dazai and Akutagawa’s relationship is not healthy in the slightest, and Dazai’s crueler actions and words against him are not right, but they’re still growing and not stagnant characters. Atsushi and Akutagawa learn from each other and that's what's pushing them to change. Nobody will pretend those past means weren’t just abuse, they were, but there's so much more to it. Like I asked with the director, was he successful? Well from what I’ve said, yes it so far has gone the way Dazai hoped for in the best-case scenario.

In the main universe at least, this is one of the better ways it could’ve gone. Beast is a different story. Teenage Dazai of the main universe was unsure of Akutagawa’s future and did only what he could’ve done at that time, but Beast Dazai does have that knowledge and he decided that it would be best for Akutagawa to not be in the mafia, instead bringing in Atsushi. It wouldn’t have been good to let him pursue his violent tendencies more than necessary in the mafia in this universe when he knew there was a better option, especially with someone like Oda, who would take the time to care for him properly.

Even if he didn’t bring him in, he still gave him the motivation to keep living for something. The prologue of Beast is a mirror to The Heartless Cur, with instead it’s a distant relationship of hate Akutagawa has for him for taking his sister. For those who argue that since Beast exists, that means Asagiri was somehow “wrong about Dazai”, but it’s still Dazai from the beginning that’s the source of this motivation. Dazai, who's still guiding him. If we’re gonna be honest, Dazai was putting their development/capabilities in speed run mode with the logic and future information he had access to prepare them for a timeline he won’t be alive for. There are many factors for what he did in Besst, but that’s not the conversation.

What does he get from helping him? Who knows, Asagiri wasn’t being cheeky when he said we only see bits and pieces of his vision. We barely have any clue what’s going through that man’s head, so don’t act like you do. He wasn’t always planning for the next Soukoku. Maybe it was a thought that came up sometimes, but he’s only met Atsushi recently. What about Akutagawa was so different from any other powerful ability-wielding orphan? Well, we’re not gonna know any time soon.

The point is that Dazai is thinking about their future, even if the abuse or manipulation makes that hard to see. Please do remember that abuse is still selfish no matter the intention, but non-selfish intentions make it all the more complicated to process. Their relationship is not misunderstood by Asagiri himself, it’s just clear to me most don’t want to face the unpleasant truth that there is more to their dynamic. When I first realized what was going on, I couldn’t help but get unnerved and awkward when someone would ask me about these two. These are both characters in the spotlight that you’re supposed to care about, but what happened between them is rotten.

You’re not supposed to pretend it didn’t happen because Dazai still contributed to who he is and it shows whenever it’s on screen. Abuse doesn’t make us stronger, don’t make it as if that’s a message that Asagiri is spreading. What happened to him motivated his development, but with Atsushi, that’s the opposite. Their circumstances are different and victims process what's happened to them in various ways. Depicting it in a form less common than usual doesn't mean the author thinks in the same way the victim does, it's just nuance at work.

I did not add Akutagawa’s attitude towards his subordinates and newer members as Dazai’s responsibility because Dazai is not the one controlling his hands when he hits Higuchi. Dazai’s mentoring contributed to his toxic views of being useful, but it’s only Akutagawa’s responsibility once he raises his hand. Instead of thinking of this in the context of the most typical abusive situation you can think of, how about this:

Your parent was raised in an abusive household, but they think they came out of it just fine and that there was nothing wrong with how they were treated. They treat you almost the same way, and all you can take away from that when you find out is, “At least it’s not as bad as it could’ve been”. You still hold anger at the standards they’re forcing you to reach, but if that’s what it takes to get that approval, then you’ll keep going anyway. Even if you get yelled at and you know you shouldn’t be treated like this, it’ll feel nice when you finally get on their good graces, right?

Then you get a new sibling, and all of that comes crumbling down. They don’t treat your sibling anywhere near the same when you were that age. Years go by and you get angrier and angrier. Why is it only you that was put to that standard? Even worse is that they treat you differently now too. You finally got to those standards, but now what is it worth? They’re so much nicer now and you want to curse them out for only changing now. Why couldn’t have had that parent from the beginning? It’s so unfair, but you can’t take it out on them because you still need them, they mean so much to you. As angry as you were, they were doing it because they cared about you in their way, you think. It was what your grandparents did to them at least. So you start treating your sibling similarly to how you were treated because you can’t take it that they didn’t experience that hardship without destroying yourself first.

Question: Are you right in what you did? Was the parent responsible for what you did to your sibling?

Nobody in their right mind would say yes to that first question. It makes sense why it happened, but continuing abuse will never be the correct answer. You’re doing the same thing your parent did. The second question needs more exposition to answer, however. How responsible is responsible?

In the end, even if it was the parent who influenced it, you’re only responsible for what you’ve done on your own accord. The parent did not tell you to take it out on your sibling, you decided that yourself. The parent is still responsible for what they’ve done to you, never get that wrong, but if you say that your guilt is absolved because it’s all their fault, you sound no different from any other abuser in denial. Are you saying now that the parent is also absolved from guilt because it’s all their parent’s fault too? Listen to yourself, You hurt someone but it’s not your fault, but the person who hurt you is also somehow not at fault? If someone came up to you and said that, you’d be fed up.

For those who do the same thing with Mori, rethink what you’re saying. Is it that painful to admit your favorite characters are at fault and that they’re changing? This comparison isn’t perfect and ignores some key factors: Dazai isn’t Akutagawa’s or Atsushi’s father and is not much older than them, the Port Mafia is a violent workplace environment and requires you to be able to navigate it a certain way, and all three of them at adults in present time. I used this comparison to be more real to earth and something a larger audience could process themselves to truly get that the emotions here are not straightforward even in a realistic situation.

Re: Portrait of a Father

Just like the prologue, in chapter 3 of the Beast light novel, Portrait of a Father is mirrored and retold in brutal upset that does not hold the hopeful bittersweetness at the end of it unlike its original. Before the present day, against all orders Dazai gave him, Atsushi attacked the orphanage on the day of his birthday. On his birthday, he would be reborn from the ashes of his past being burnt away, and kill the director inside to release himself from the fear of those memories.

It’s what he says at least.

Playing out, the director was expecting him. There might have only been one person in his mind who would’ve attacked a rundown orphanage on this scale. It frightens Atsushi after all that planning and fear of losing to the director, he could still see through him, but confusion takes hold when he’s told that he was late for his graduation.

Graduation? Atsushi is in fight or flight mode, why is he approaching him with this box? He can’t imagine it being anything other than a weapon, nothing else would make sense for this cruel monster. The director won’t give him any straight answer, just repeating words he’s heard over and over growing up here. He uses his tiger hearing to glean what could be inside.

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

There’s the proof, it had to be a bomb. He needs to protect himself before anything happens or he’ll die. He’s scared, he can’t move, but he has to fight. The director opens his arms for the embrace of his child… and death, plummeted into a bloody mess on the floor. Only out of the corner of his eye, only when Atsushi stopped, he saw what was in the box. It was a watch, brand new and high-end. Happy Birthday was what was written on a sheet of paper next to it.

His last words, whispered into his ear, were words of encouragement: “Yes… just like that.”

I was not kidding when I said this was brutal. Just like in the main universe, Atsushi learns why he did what he did and can’t place any of his feelings, but overwhelmingly guilt crushes him to keep protecting people with his life rather than just fear because he killed him. He finds out much earlier about what happened with Shibusawa, and how the director protected his identity as the tiger.

The director’s intentions are draining when you let your mind wander. As we’ve established, the headmaster as a figure of hate for Atsushi is intentional on his part. He doesn’t explain anything on purpose here to probe him into killing him. He bought that watch for Atsushi as a congratulations for growing up and becoming a new independent individual.

In the split minute before Atsushi took the first swing, he said his usual, “Those who fail to protect others do not deserve to live.” I have to question now if he was so willing to die there, even encouraging him to kill him, then has it been this whole time he still can’t live with himself for what happened to his friends… or is it because he couldn’t protect Atsushi anymore? Maybe I’m overthinking it and it was just that the headmaster thought Atsushi needed to kill him to remove an obstacle in his growth as an individual, to be a necessary sacrifice for his benefit.

It's too flawed though. The director will never leave him, not after all that he's engraved into Atsushi. The watch has become not a symbol of a person who's found himself, but a child that's latched himself onto his father's cold corpse that won't ever respond, but that child would do anything to have him wake up and say "Good job, Atsushi". The director also has a clock, but can he call himself a strong individual when he hasn't let go of the past either?

Time stopped for Beast Atsushi when he picked up that watch. If he had just followed orders, none of this would’ve happened. If he isn’t his father’s child, if he doesn’t uphold his last wish, then who is he? When he’s no longer in the mafia and has time for himself to think, he wanders.

He failed in becoming someone he could be proud of, he deserved to die for that but doesn't want to be dead… because It wasn't truly about the Director, just like how it wasn't truly about Dazai’s acknowledgment or saving his sister for Akutagawa. At first, that was the motivation, it's the reasoning they keep going with, but in the end, it was to save their own life and give it purpose to validate why they're still around. If they can die like this, then it's all the same. If they have their own life in someone else’s hands, then they no longer have to be responsible for their own heavy-hearted weight.

Beast Atsushi is given neither and is taken of his reasoning, but he keeps going. Aimlessly.

Luckily, it’s not where his story ends.

He wakes up in his old orphanage, and it’s no longer the dreary place it was when he was younger. Kids laughing outside, no chains on the walls or bars blocking off the windows, and the new Orphanage Director greets him. He tells him that he will go back to being a student of the orphanage until he can become independent again, under one of Dazai’s last requests before he died.

Still, there’s one thing he needs to do. The new director takes out the watch and tells him to break it. Atsushi is distraught by this notion, but he won’t let Atsushi leave if he doesn’t. The new director has good reason, there is no point in becoming someone the past director was proud of and this is what’s holding him back. Atsushi, eventually, tells him he will not break the watch. He can’t move on just yet and this watch is still proof he’s himself, yet…

He’ll keep going and move forward, just like Akutagawa told him after he spared his life. The new director finds those words to be enough, saying he can’t leave until he finds something else to define himself with, but he can keep living here as his son. He went there to burn away his past and came out of it not able to let go of the past, but now he can redo and process it healthily with someone willing to hold him like a father should.

The Man Who Raised Dazai

Everyone who’s read Beast has questioned it: Why did Dazai in his right mind have Mori take care of an orphanage? Why did he save his life? Better yet, why is he so nice?! I have come up with some speculation on why Dazai would.

“Beast Dazai recognized this potential of change either from the multitude of universes he was able to witness or recognized it in his own considering canonverse Dazai never does anything against Mori (even if he visibly dislikes him).”

“Possibility is one thing, the why is another. It was either that he saw potential and good that could come out of this in the long run, Mori’s intelligence and expertise still proves usefulness, less dangerous for Oda in the long run if he let Mori stay there instead of the Mafia, or all three.”

(Didn’t feel like rephrase them)

We can’t know anything for sure about his decision, but I do know Mori is the type of character to sacrifice his feelings for what he thinks would logically benefit the sum, and there’s no better way to release yourself from that too-calculative responsibility than to remove yourself from it and to be in a place where you’re allowed to care for others and express yourself when there is no greater purpose than to just grow.

What happened with Yosano is undoubtedly wrong, but Mori had put away any sympathy in those situations because he needed her to do what he brought her in for. I was confused by his declaration that violence should never be used to educate children when I read it, especially out of his mouth, but now I understand. He would know with certainty that it’s not the right way to educate children, particularly because this is a Mori that hasn’t been in the dark for these past years and has grown to care for these children at the orphanage without any greater intention for them.

He’s not like the Old Director because he has no reason to think these kids would end up the way he did. They’re just kids that need someone to raise them with kindness, kindness will be what gets them through life as functional adults. Abuse has too many drawbacks to be called an optimal solution here. Is it surprising that all it took to change Mori was the kindness and salvation Dazai offered to him when he took over? Can you believe it was that simple to treat someone like a human being instead of a figure of hate?

What sticks out to me like a sore thumb is that when he’s introduced in Beast, he’s referred to as the man who raised Dazai. He is, regardless of what you think, the closest thing Dazai has to a father figure. In regards to how the fanbase speaks of their relationship, it’s hard to think that he cared about Dazai, but he did and the extent of how bad it got between them is grossly exaggerated.

As many comparisons Dazai gets with Yosano, their relationship with Mori is very different. Unlike Yosano, he did not need to be forced to do anything with psychological abuse and he did not need to be torn down to do what Mori asked him to. We don’t know what happened to him to become like this, but it wasn’t because of Mori. Yosano had light in her and a motivation to do the right thing, but Dazai didn’t. Dazai is no stranger to any violence or using violence himself even before Mori if he's this desensitized.

It’s useful that Dazai is like that when he meets him, up until it isn’t. He’s moody and actively looking to die. Mori can’t predict him that easily and Dazai can see right through him. There’s another huge difference between them though: Mori sees himself in Dazai. We don’t have enough insight in his head to make conclusive statements, but I think this is why he cared for Dazai. It’s not because he saw a child struggling that he cared, but grew some fondness because he saw a little mini-him. When he drove Dazai out of the Port Mafia, he expected him to come back and take back his vacant seat.

Eventually, Dazai will come back and realize that petty anger about someone dying is illogical in somewhere like the mafia. But because of him not being able to see through Dazai and seeing himself in him, he also expected him to eventually usurp his seat if he stayed any longer. That is why he had invited Mimic at the time he did and manipulated the situation so Oda, someone he knew Dazai cared for, would go and take care of the situation flawlessly. He’d be sacrificed and Mori could get something out of it, a Skilled Business Permit. A perfect plan… in theory, but Mori was wrong and miscalculated on many levels because of how many assumptions he made about Dazai.

First, he wouldn’t have known that it was Oda who held the words that would convince him to leave the mafia and go into the world of light. Dazai will never come back to his own volition. Second, as those panels quite literally tell you, Dazai was never planning on killing him. He saw his place in the mafia and saw that he was needed there. When Mori finally realizes his mistake with Dazai 4 years later during the Guild Arc, he can’t go back. His plan was still perfectly sound and he still got what he wanted out of it. He shouldn’t regret it, but…

Now that’s been paved out, where does wanting to save Dazai fit into this? If I had to assume, it’s the same reason he didn’t shoot Dazai for leaving his office during Dark Era. He cared about that boy, for 4 whole years he left him and his seat alone when the logical thing he should be doing was replacing him, but as much as he might’ve cared, he needed to put the mafia first. He didn’t let him die because of his use, but also because of their so-called “common destiny” in his eyes, a diamond in a rough he might’ve disposed of otherwise if he didn’t see his potential. There’s not much he could’ve done for Dazai here except keep him healthy and alive. Mori gets tons of flack for not trying to help him, but there's nothing he could've done, not in their position.

He can't cultivate his potential if there is abuse involved because there is no logical reason for him to do anything to Dazai. You guys have to stop assuming the worst when it comes to Mori, you’re missing huge character details that are right in front of you. The difference between Mori, the Boss of the Port Mafia, and Mori, the Orphanage Director is that he had time to rekindle his humanity so he’s able to care about him like a normal human being, feel guilt, and admit regret after Beast Dazai has died. Mori at most was responsible for ingraining tactical strategies and theories and molding him into the perfect Mafioso and right-hand man.

Not to say any of those aren’t a bad thing. He’s still a child and having him use his desensitized, intelligent mind to build the potential in what he could do for the mafia, it’s just that he’s responsible for very little in Dazai’s personality. The only answer I could give about Dazai being abused by Mori or being abused under the credentials that he’s a child in a violent, unsafe place is the same answer given earlier for Chuuya: in his case, not really.

Regarding this, I retract my statement about anything I’ve said about Beast Atsushi not being a victim in his time in the mafia, but I still hold my stance that he’s not the victim of the port mafia. I want to say the same thing about Beast Dazai and Atsushi that I do here, but considering he picked him up and trained him like how he trained Akutagawa, there’s a great chance Dazai emotionally abused him when you read their interactions. Not physically as that would make him too much like the headmaster, but just enough emotional distress in bringing up traumatic moments to manipulate him into doing what he needs of him.

It’s not a good relationship, but Mori wasn’t targeting Dazai in any real way like the Director and Atsushi or Dazai and Akutagawa. Unlike every other section, I have to conclude that he didn’t do anything to Dazai in that regard other than treating him like another adult when he shouldn't have. I don’t have much to say negatively about their dynamic otherwise. Just a weird, terrible son with his weird, terrible father. It’s more like someone who's taking after their mentor’s teaching and methods rather than an abuse victim echoing their abuser. This is why I don't accept the “Cycle of Abuse” as how the fandom understands it. It tells me a lot that people resort to the blame game.

I wonder what Dazai and Mori’s relationship would've looked like without any of this in the middle. Maybe something in cadence with Ranpo and Fukuzawa, but I can't help thinking that accepting Atsushi as his son in Beast instead of a student wasn't just for Atsushi’s sake. He was about to call him his student too, but immediately changed his mind. He already admitted he was helping him because of what happened to Dazai, so it can’t be a huge jump to think that in the same way this is Atsushi’s redo in building a relationship with a father figure, this is Mori’s redo to give him some atonement for the boy he failed.

A Mother’s Love

Kyouka, when we first meet her, appears as a force to be reckoned with. With skills a young girl shouldn’t have, and a demon shadowing behind, she’s a terrifying opponent. Quickly though, that appearance falls short in tragedy when the bomb Atsushi’s after is found on her own body and when he asks if she truly wants to kill... She has no answer, but her actions speak clearly. She gives him the defuser because she doesn’t want any more people to die, but the man behind the phone will not let it defuse.

So Kyouka does the next best thing to save more from dying: falling off the train with the bomb that’s about to go off. As long as she dies with it, nobody can use her and her abilities to massacre the people on the train when the bomb eventually fails to do what is necessary. Because that’s when Atsushi realizes that she cannot control her ability herself. No matter what she genuinely wants, she will never have the ability to obtain it because of this one fact. She can only be what people tell her she is.

We all know this story well, she gets saved by Atsushi and the man behind the phone is Akutagawa. Atsushi offers her the same kindness Dazai extended to him regardless of his reputation and destruction because it’d only be the right thing to do. He knows her incoming fate of eventual death for her crimes, he can’t do much, but she should at least experience normalcy this one time.

When she’s about to turn herself in, Akutagawa stops her and tells her she did her job well as a decoy for him to capture Atsushi. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but there’s a peculiar oddness about Akutagawa here in his attitude towards Kyouka. In all logic, even though she is a strong tool to the mafia, she’s a low-level member, a disobedient one at that, and should’ve been killed on sight for her betrayal considering how quick he is to violence, but he talks as if nothing even happened. He brushes off any thought of her dying as she’s spouting nonsense and that she’s going to go back to the mafia as normal.

But then he spouts off about how she’s better off dead on the ship if she stops killing. What’s up with that? It’s not completely obvious at first, but he’s projecting his own experiences in the slums and beliefs formed from Dazai’s mentoring onto her. From his time when he wasn’t in the mafia, he tells her there’s nothing left out there for people like them, there’s only rock bottom. He can confidently say that there is nowhere that would accept her for her ability, demon snow, because it’s the same for him.

The only way her life can have value is to kill to be useful, just like any good mafia member. It’s exactly why that flashback with Dazai happens here. He’s the one who fed him these thoughts he’s lived with for these past 6 years, and what she’s been believing for 6 months. He doesn’t loathe her, he sees it as doing a favor for her. What else can a little girl who can kill be use of except to kill in her circumstances?

Contrary to popular belief, he is not her abuser and is not the same thing Dazai was to him. He neither trained her nor did we have information on their relationship to come to that conclusion. The only thing we know is that he was the one sent to pick her up by the Port Mafia. We can prove she is not the way she is because Akutagawa since Beast, well, exists. She is one of the few characters I can confidently say was a victim of the Port Mafia itself and not just a person of the Port Mafia specifically.

Akutagawa was trying to be what Dazai was to him, but he is selling a bastardized version of it to her. The person who was her Dazai was Atsushi, the same person who was given Dazai’s act of kindness. Someone who has experienced the same things Akutagawa has and is living proof that she can hope for something better.

He could see that the same revenge and lack of regard for her life in her eye was the same kind he met Dazai with. Despite that, these lessons he’s internalized have helped no one, not even himself. She can’t find meaning in something that is the root cause of her suicidal ideation. This life is unfulfilling for people like them who need meaning in life. Akutagawa doesn't realize this because he still has Dazai to be his motivational goal. That’s why he failed to help Kyouka, Dazai’s efforts would’ve been considered an utmost failure too if he wasn’t actively trying to fix that misunderstanding. Kindness is what actively saves us and helps us grow, the harm in abusive environments will only stunt us. But what happens when kindness is offered to us, but nothing comes out of it except proving us right that we’re unsavable? Then you have Kouyou.

Kouyou is the second person I could say was a victim of the Port Mafia. She has the same belief Akutagawa had about people like them being unable to be saved, so the only thing they can do is embrace it. I can’t claim she was Kyouka’s abuser either as we again don’t know enough, but that doesn’t change that her behavior is emotionally abusive, and is a much better contender than he is.

She’s doing the same thing Akutagawa was doing himself. Seeing themselves in this child and doing what she “needs” instead of what she wants. Just like him, she views this as saving her from the hands of light that will never make room for them and will ignore everything else she says. When Akutagawa is faced with her “disillusionment”, he… accepts it when she refuses his will and chooses another path, but almost kills her to spare her from that decision that would “doom” her.

Kouyou is much less accepting, opting to kill the root source of this hope itself, Atsushi, because her fondness for Kyouka prevents her from leaving her for dead. In contrast to Akutagawa’s attempt at being what gives her life meaning, Kouyou wants to stop Atsushi from being like the same man who also gave her hope that they could escape to the world of light. She can’t bear to see Kyouka go through the same realization she did far too late.

I can see what you're thinking, why am I reluctant to call either of them Kyouka’s abuser? Even if Akutagawa doesn't count, shouldn't Kouyou count because she seems to have an actual relationship with her and her effects are prevalent in Beast, the same points I mentioned to debunk accusations against him? Sure actually, but think about it like this. What the Port Mafia does have in common with real situations is that this is a community that is full of victims who refuse to process their traumatic experiences for any reason, and bring down others to their level when they don’t fit in their narrative to justify what’s happened to them.

There isn’t just one abuser weighing over you, there's this collective pressure from so many who aren't your abuser but they still contribute to your abuse with their presence itself. If Dazai wasn’t there in the mafia, would Akutagawa's situation have changed? Yes. Now if Akutagawa or Kouyou weren’t in the mafia, would Kyouka's situation have changed? Not at all. She’d have fewer examples to refer to, but she’d still be abused. If it’s easier to imagine, think of it similarly to cult mentality and how they keep you in cults. That is the reason I emphasized being a victim of the Port Mafia instead of an individual. Kouyou, Q, and Kyouka, while you can pin their main perpetrators on certain people, their overall situation doesn't change.

Now why doesn’t she just use the phone herself instead of letting people call Demon Snow for her? Wouldn’t she have more agency that way? Atsushi proposes this, but she rejects it instantly. It’s a very simple answer, it’s the same reason she can’t bear to look at it outside of when she’s forced to use it in combat. It’s her ability that killed her parents and why she was forced into this position.

It’s not hard for a little girl to believe she’s nothing more than a killing machine when she sees that night her ability would mercilessly kill her parents. She eventually caves when Kouyou points out how quick she is to vindicate violence to protect that hope she desperately wants a part of, and how she will never change. Her first mission with the Armed Detective Agency is proof in itself. Was Atsushi going to keep extending his kindness after hearing what she could only blame herself for?

Kouyou is a character I’ve seen that gets a lot of double standards compared to all of the other characters I’ve mentioned with abusive tendencies and is almost purely liked. She’s not seen as an absolute monster (The director, Mori) or controversial with one side containing pure dislike and another pure love (Akutagawa, Dazai), it’s only that she’s a well-written, sympathetic badass girl boss. It’s either because she’s a woman, that she doesn’t use an overt intimidation style, that her motives are more obvious in their emotional influences, or all of the above that she’s not treated the same.

Kouyou’s motivations are not special, as I’ve said. The only thing that differentiates them from the others is that they’re not covered by a mask of indifference. As fond as she is for her, she’s not much different from anyone else who holds the mafia up in high regard. She weaponizes her words in where they’d hurt the most so Kyouka would come with her. The entire last section of their battle sums up with her saying, “Kyouka come with me, they’ll only use you for your Ability when they get a hold of it. Even if the mafia did the same thing, at least they’ll accept you for who you truly are: a natural-born killer. You don’t have to fight anymore, I’ll protect you.”

When Atsushi finds Kyouka once again subsequently in her disappearance, she chooses to embrace her violence to help the Armed Detective Agency in this fight with the Guild. After her walk in where she used to reside, she comes the the conclusion she no longer belongs there. Against Kouyou’s wishes, she will brandish her blade for a home. That blows up in her face the moment she starts. Atsushi gets taken, and it’s just as Kouyou said would happen. If even her violence doesn’t get her wish, then what can she do besides leave herself to her fate?

As someone who’s seen another with a talent for killing walk the path of good and is on that same path himself, Dazai talks to her. He tells her about how she hasn’t gone through her entrance exam yet, how she isn’t an official member because she hasn’t proven her will or life on the line to help people she doesn’t necessarily know. Kyouka doesn’t believe she could’ve passed if that’s what it takes, but Dazai doesn’t agree with the points she’s brought up. So what if she’s killed or considered dangerous? That doesn’t make her less qualified to be a part of the Detective Agency, everyone there is from different backgrounds.

She can’t know everything, not even about herself. Nobody does, but it takes others to see more of yourself. Excelling in one area doesn’t prevent you from nurturing your potential in another. What would that make someone like Atsushi, a person who’s been her guiding figure throughout—but was never seen as anything more than a threat or a beast because of his ability before he joined them? The truth is, our lives aren’t defined by one purpose the moment we’re born, it’s only something you can make for yourself. We’re not the places we’ve been raised in, not the ideas people apply to us, and we’re especially not defined by the traumatic experiences we had no control over.

All of it accumulates the person we are today, and we can’t change that no matter how much we resent parts of our image that don’t hold up to what society deems as right, but it shouldn’t take control over what we want for ourselves. It isn’t fair for the victims who were forced into a life where they had to fend for themselves, the children who had to navigate an adult’s messed up world that didn’t have room for them to grow as kids should. Forced into a box where they stay unaware that they’ve ever left their mother’s womb, break out in fury with eyes that grew up too early—only to become lost and thrown away, or rot in that box without a single person knowing they were a breathing, living human being.

I deem abuse selfish for this very reason. Kouyou is wrong for this very reason. If she finds comfort in her reasoning, then I can’t critique her for her own choices and will have to respect her for choosing to stay in the mafia even when the old boss is dead, every abuse victim is different, but not a single person is born evil or good, in the dark or light. Not a soul has to stay in one place because they started there. It’s going to be a hard journey to truly achieve what you long for, results aren’t immediate and not everyone gets there no matter their effort, but still try. Try because it’s still worth trying, because you’re still worth more than you think.

In parallel, you can only get there as long as you’re seeking it. Too many see the Armed Detective Agency as something that will automatically save characters just by working there, but the only way it can help them is if they seek out their help themselves. The ADA is not the right place for every character, but Kyouka does want a place there. After her conversation with Dazai, she knows what she wants to do now. She will smash the drone she’s in into Moby Dick so nobody will have to die, but sacrifice her own life in the process. She’s chained to this place, but her choices aren’t.

She doesn’t have to die with regret, with this she can pass the entrance exam and become an agency member like she wanted. She made a difference for herself just by this act. It’d be a pretty melancholy arc if it ended like that, thank god we know it doesn’t end like this. When you become a full agency member, you gain more control over your ability, meaning—

She’s fine.

The exposition is over, let’s talk about Kyouka. Her arc is beautiful and the neglect to talk about her when it comes to her abuse story besides saying, “She’s the one who stopped the abuse cycle” and then nothing else is heartbreakingly superficial. She didn’t stop it, it’s impossible to, but she did break out of it. Kyouka’s section has more exposition than the others but I expected that. I wanted to save her for last because she’s the only one whose arc has come to a peaceful conclusion and not unfinished, and the lighter message felt nice to leave off on.

I shouldn’t berate Kouyou too much, the only reason she stayed in that room after being captured by the ADA is because she did want Kyouka to experience what she never had, and speaking with Dazai helped reassure her that Kyouka would be able to achieve her dreams. It’s no longer the age of the old boss. As well as her shedding the truth about her parent’s death so she wouldn’t have to resent her ability as not an avatar of massacre, but a product of her parents’ love that will always stay with her. She didn’t let go of the phone she’s had this entire time because her mother told her not to let it go.

Me going over Kouyou in this fashion is not me saying you shouldn’t love her character, I like her too. It’s just that it’s passed over so fast what she did, but somehow Akutagawa is more at fault here is mind-boggling. I’d get it a little more if this is because she redeemed herself by wanting the best for Kyouka over what was best for the mafia, but I doubt that’s the case when that moment is talked about so little as well.

I genuinely need you all to understand that not every character is going to have a satisfying, clean conclusion like this. Akutagawa’s story is most likely not going to have a conclusion that satisfies everyone and you should respect it when it comes. There’s no perfect way of writing abuse, but there’s no correct way of doing it either. I don’t think Dazai is going to have the repercussions you want him to have any time soon. If you got the message from Beast, getting revenge on an abuser doesn’t make us feel better or let us process what happened to us. Total resentment keeps us stuck.

The only thing that will heal us is the kindness so many offer in this series. You in no way need to extend that kindness to an abuser, you don’t need to forgive them or let them into your life again, but be kind to yourself and don’t let resentment prevent you from focusing on yourself. Forgiveness and reconnection are not the same thing. Don’t be angry when a victim does want those things. Unless it’s character inconsistent, that’s not something we shouldn’t have any opinion on as the right or wrong way to go about their lives. What if later they do change their mind and want something different from what they originally planned? That’s fine too. Everyone is different. Don’t give unsolicited advice to people who do not want it, let them decide for themselves. It is the best thing you can do.

The worst abusers are the ones who refuse to change and see wrong in what they’re doing, but what about the ones who do want that? Then also let them heal. They did something awful, why isn’t it a good thing they want to stop it now? You don’t have to let them in just because they changed though. Apologies don’t fix the damage already done, but to some victims, it feels nice to feel that what’s been done to them is acknowledged. You don’t want them to hurt others the way they’ve done to you, and neither do they. It hurts to let them forgive themselves when you haven’t and never will, you want to see them suffer, but that’s the only way things can change.

Dazai has changed, is he a good person even after what he’s done? I despise this question for any character of this series. He’s grown so much, and if you don’t think so, reread his conversation with Kyouka I beg of you. It is a far cry from his mindset in the mafia. A better person for sure, but a good person is hard to define for anyone in this series. The mafia is still the mafia, do any of them qualify as good people? The government, even if it’s the position of the right in society, is still an unjust system.

What a good person is cannot be an objective answer, people think there is but it’s not. A good person is how much we know about them and where our position in life affects our viewpoint. Prejudice values don’t make you correct in what you think a good person is, being convicted of a crime, one you might not even have committed, doesn’t automatically make you a bad person, being associated with a group doesn’t mean anything about who you are, etc. It’s all subjective in the end.

Meaning someone like Odasaku is essential in a story like this. He still has a presence in this narrative, even if he died in a light novel, because his existence pushes the boundaries of a “good person” in the fact his contradictory existence establishes itself. He failed in walking the path he wanted, but he doesn’t regret it even in his dying moments trying to.

Afterthoughts

The themes of morality and humanity go hand in hand with the abuse present in Bungou Stray Dogs, so it was hard avoiding talking about this when it was necessary. I don’t think it’s right of us to judge a character’s path that isn’t finished, in a story that’s nowhere near done. Ultimately, I’m only talking in a place of experience but never will it make me exempt from any personal bias. I tried to be as objective and nuanced as I could about this, and I hope it shows.

Abuse isn’t one of those things that I can analyze from any logical stand point or take resources to back my statements up about abuse. Of course everything I say can be backed up, but abuse is a personal, human matter and we’re just human being trying to figure out more than we can handle. I just couldn’t be comfortable with how people are now choosing to talk about Asagiri and needed to shed some light in what you’re missing.

Now I could’ve gone over Higuchi or Lucy because their stories also involve abuse, but I don’t think I could say anything new about them without repeating points I’ve already said. We know very little about Higuchi and what made her so devoted to Akutagawa, and Lucy is pretty quick to summarize considering her story is just like Atsushi’s. Q is also a character to be brought up but I don’t have enough information on them to say much about any abuse itself that happened.

Yosano was also an option but I don’t think anyone had any trouble understanding her backstory. Well I was only really aiming to speak about what’s not been spoken enough. Thank you for reading haha, god this thing is monstrous. Already got to 14k words by the time I was officially done…. I didn’t know if I wanted to lean into character analysis or just exposition, I hope it’s a good enough mix of both. This took way longer than the 4 days I was planning to write this in.

I was later reminded that I could do a post on how their abilities functioned and reflect on their abuse/traumatic events, but I didn’t think I’d have enough room for that here. It could be a bonus post eventually? I don’t think I did Kyouka enough justice in that aspect, but i’d just be beating myself up again about not making this perfect.

I hope I don’t come off scary or a very serious person? I’m very open to requests or discussions people want to engage in. Oh jeez, I’ll just embarrass myself if I keep talking. Writing this was a bit much, never really liked writing stuff myself. Sorry if glossed over anything, I wanted to stay on topic and not detail into something unnecessary.

The message BSD has is a pretty normal one, but there’s something very special about how it’s written here and I’m happy it exists. Maybe I shouldn’t have made this so long? But there’s so much to express sigh……

[oneshortdamnfuse]

I think the reason people call Billy homophobic is because people automatically couple racism and homophobia when these two forms of bigotry are not mutually inclusive. There's little to no evidence that Billy is homophobic, even if the Duffers want people to think he is they didn't show it at all. They are definitely the kings of Tell In Interviews but don't show on screen.

I already talked about why, as a writing choice, it made little sense to make Billy - an abuse survivor - The Racist on the show, especially since they do not in any way address systemic racism in Hawkins, but that doesn't change the fact that his attitudes and behavior still read as racist to viewers. So I'm not going to deny that.

Whether or not you think Billy is racist is beside the point. Intentions don't matter. The effect matters. I don't think denying it helps, because his attitudes and behaviors are still harmful no matter the motivation and he still needs to make amends for what he said and did. I just don't think the Duffers had good intentions behind that choice, and it makes me angry that they pushed for that.

However, I very much resist the notion that Billy was ever explicitly or implicitly homophobic. He wasn't. I find it funny that people aggressively double down on this point by suggesting he would be actively abusive towards other queer characters just because they are queer. I don't necessarily think he would be and there's little to no canon evidence that he would be.

He's one of the few characters who receives homophobic abuse. As a child, he's punished for being soft by his father in much the same way Will would be had Joyce let her ex do so. His dad straight up calls him a f****t. So, it's interesting how people can't see that he's actually been a victim of that kind of abuse his entire life even with it being so obvious.

I think white fans especially automatically couple racism and homophobia because they think their queerness absolves them of racism so they cannot possibly imagine someone being racist and queer. I also think it's funny that especially white queer people fantasize about him calling them slurs when he's never canonically called anyone a homophobic slur. It just screams 'I am victimizing myself to justify hating him' and 'I am oppressed as a queer person so I can't possibly be racist.'

It's also just really funny because Steve is everyone's favorite now but he WAS a homophobic bully. Like, it's literally canon. Sure, he was able to change but that's because he was given the opportunity to do so. I know many people argue Steve is redeemed while Billy is not. However, Billy leaves everyone alone after their fight and then he is basically tortured and killed for an entire season. It's not exactly a fair opportunity for redemption.