#but you can't find that because all songs have different vibes so then you're just stuck. and sad.
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crokitheloki · 16 days ago
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i just wanna watch porn but specifically porn that makes me feel the way I do when i read fanfiction
like. I don't wanna just watch people fucking I want the emotions and the feelings behind it.
basically. I want to watch my blorbos fuck and I think it's incredibly unfair that I cannot watch my blorbos fuck
also sorry not sorry but the sexiest part about my blorbos is their shared history and how well they know each other and the amount of love shared between them and the sexiest part about fucking is just knowing and loving someone so much that they live in your fucking soul that's how much you love them
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mad-hunts · 3 months ago
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as far as jack could tell, jervis was really out of it; and it made him wonder it was due to something that had happened while he was out with his father, or when they'd gotten here. perhaps both. jack gnawed on his bottom lip, his eyes darting to jervis's hands, which were flexing like he was struggling with something. an eyebrow rose as jack contemplated asking whether he needed some pain medication.
since he didn't receive an answer to his question yet, jack figured he might as well introduce himself. ❝ uhh, well, you don't have to talk to me if you aren't feeling up to it. my sister told me that you fainted in front of her out there — so, i understand if you're still feeling sick. my name is jack, ❞ he scratched at the back of his neck as he continued to observe jervis. whenever the man tried to get up, jack approached him and was about to caution jervis that maybe he shouldn't by lightly touching his shoulder.
but he remembered matilda telling him something about the other really not liking to be touched, so he merely was going to verbally tell him. up until jervis laid back down himself, anyhow. jack couldn't hold himself back from frowning at his poor present state before venturing out of the room with a 'i'll be right back.' and indeed he had been, with two different vials, alongside a few syringes to inject into that IV bag: should jervis want to be medicated. jack figured it'd be easier to just do that rather than forcing him to swallow anything.
he placed those also on the table before tilting his head at the quote jervis had said until it clicked a few seconds later, ❝ that's a quote from through the looking glass, isn't it? and one that the red queen said in the story if i remember correctly. she was basically teaching alice that staying in the same place is falling behind, right? ❞ jack squinted his eyes at that before a thought came to mind. a soft snort left him, but one that was done of an innocent sort of amusement rather than malice. ❝ that is a kind of roundabout way of talking about survival of the fittest. but hey, lewis carroll was all about the whimsy of things, i guess. and its no big deal. ❞
jack pretended not to see the tears that the other shed for jervis's own sake. the blood on his lips was something he couldn't ignore, no matter how hard he tried, though. jack grabbed a washcloth from his pack and held it out towards's jervis's hand. once it was out of his hand was when jack set down that teacup, the slightly too long stripped pants he wore swaying across the ground. ❝ mm, you and dad were both asleep for nearly four hours. sure — i don't think that's silly at all. i keep something on me all the time from when my brother, julien, was still around. ❞ the bracelet he showed the other on his right wrist then seemed to be made up entirely of tiny conch shells.
julien was a big fan of the sea, which jack thought made his death all the more crushing. after seeing the state that the stuffed animal was in, he figured that that bunny must've been really loved; though it didn't really matter by whom it was. the end result was the same, as love changes you. jack knew this well as he'd never wanted anything more than to be embraced by the warmth of it.
he quickly shook that thought off, only to grab the two vials he got from the fridge once more. ❝ eh... the four hours actually went by rather fast. ❞ jack cleared his throat then, ❝ you know, i couldn't help but notice that you aren't looking so hot still, and so i grabbed some meds for you. but i won't force you to take them. i have a pain reliever as well as something that relieves vertigo. are either, or both of these, something you want? ❞
Eigengrau.
A faint hum buzzed in his ears; his mouth was so dry it felt like he’d swallowed a wad of wool.
The thin sheet beneath him brushed his fingertips as Jervis flexed his hands, cracking his eyes open a sliver. The room tilted, everything blurring at the edges. Ah… so he had fainted. Just as he’d suspected. No glasses, then.
"Hey. Ahh, you're awake… That's awesome. How are you feeling?"
The new voice was barely a whisper, young and uncertain—belonging to a boy, maybe sixteen or eighteen by the timber. Was this another of Barton's assistants, a friend of Matilda’s, or perhaps her brother? Jervis couldn’t quite remember; hadn't Barton mentioned something about having more than one child?
He winced, his body feeling heavy, leaden; aching everywhere. Slowly, he exhaled and tried to push himself upright—tried being the keyword. The effort brought only a wave of vertigo, dizzying and blue-hot, making his vision swim.
… ohh, god…
He swallowed thickly, curling into himself. Something wasn’t right. His glasses and gloves weren’t the only thing missing. He was in his socks, jeans, and a now damp charcoal t-shirt, his body slick with cold sweat. His graying auburn curls clung to his neck in tangled ropes. His boots were beside the cot, his messenger bag on a desk across the room. His overcoat and maroon button-down were draped over a chair.
A flicker of discomfort in his right arm. Burning. Tugging.
Jervis glanced down at the source: a plastic tube. A peripheral IV catheter.
"Ah, you know... 'It takes all the running you can do, to stay in the same place,'" he muttered, his voice clipped and hollow; Bermudian accent casual, almost detached. He turned his eyes to the boy; offered him a faint, strained smile. "Keeps things interesting, I suppose... but I appreciate your concern, lad."
He lifted his fingers to his cheek, feeling the moisture trickle down—salt on his lips. Tears, sharp and stinging. Jervis flinched and quickly scrubbed them away with the heels of his hands.
Cold metal pressed into his spine, tight around his neck—the chain with his and Sylvie’s wedding rings twisted against his skin. He must’ve been thrashing in his sleep. There was blood on his lips.
"Forgive me…" His vision swam as he watched the boy set a teacup on the small table beside the cot, just within view. "But I'm afraid I've rather lost my sense of time. How long has it been since I…?" He paused, his voice barely steady. "... if... if you don’t mind, could you please reach into my coat pocket? You'll find a small cuddly toy. A rabbit..." He rubbed his mouth, lowered his eyes. "It sounds foolish, I know... but it... it was my daughter's, you see..."
The boy nodded, moving quickly to retrieve the toy from Jervis’ coat pocket, and placed it on the table beside the teacup. The bunny was missing one of its button eyes, its white fur faded and matted. A pink satin ribbon around its neck was frayed and tattered.
“Thank you,” Jervis said hoarsely. “I must have been out of it for quite a while.”
#divingdownthehole#tw: mentions of child death.#tw: medication.#tw: illness.#ooh okay okay 👀 that song was also a really good listen while reading your reply! like GAH you are just so good at selecting songs-#that capture the vibes of your replies perfectly tbhhh. BUT hiii!! and aww well i was just telling you the truth about how i felt but#its no problem at all emi!!! and OMG really? honestly i didn't get that impression at all as i thought your reply perfectly described-#just how complex the effects of trauma on a person can be as characters are a reflection of real life people so it only makes sense-#that jervis's mind is just... so chocked full of images related to the things he's been through despite him not wanting to be reliving#these events or seeing them anymore you know? and i honestly can't blame him for seemingly not wanting to do either of those things as#recovery + healing isn't really ever a straight path as you pointed out there. thus i didn't think any of it was overdramaticized or#anything of that nature! so don't worry you're totally good with that!! but yeah jervis as a character has really been dealt a bad hand#in my opinion and that's really unfortunate because no one deserves having to lose their parents or lose their daughter ):#and jervis is at a spot in his timeline where he has still lost alice relatively recently right? so that's just. UGH i feel so bad for him#tbh as having to experiencing one of your kids dying sounds really terrible.#but AWW well thank you so much for saying so!! it makes me so happy to hear that you're always excited for them. but yeahhh-#trust me when i say their madness may be even worse when they're just amongst themselves unfortunately enough ahahhh... 🫠#but i'm so honored? that you were intrigued?? by my description of him??? like AHHH i'm giving you the biggest hug RN and i just-#want to say TYSM once more!!! but yes i'm not going to lie because jack + julien were basically like brothers before barton-#even came along jack was very attached to him and julien didn't like killing people either so he was sort of a good influence on him#which might be part of the reason why he is the way he is now TBH but sadly dysfunctional family dynamics often leave people#suffering in their own way from it as you said. but AHH thank you!! you're so sweet PLSSS like i'm glad that you find him interesting-#BC he is a good person at heart unlike barton but they contrast in a different way than say jervis and him would since he tries-#to live his life down the straight and narrow buttt that doesn't always happen for him. and yesss barton is back to bother everyone / hj#LOLLL but gosh you're right!! i think i remember you mentioning it back then :00 but yeah i did some casual research on on it when you-#mentioned the quote in your reply and i thought that the red queen hypothesis had something to do with darwin's survival of the fittest-#idea + it turns out that i was right so i am somewhat proud of myself for that NGL lmao but TBH that is just another example of you-#using such good character writing with jervis because subtext and nuance is like one of those things that i find hard to write sometimes#but what a character doesn't say is also just as important AS what they say so its interesting that you'd bring that up. but huh i never-#actually thought of it that way before but that does definitely seem to check out if i'm being honest. BC grief never truly goes-
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pleasestayawayidonotlikeyou · 2 months ago
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could u maybe make a murder time trio(separate if possible) with a goth reader? if not that’s ok:)
Traveler I don't know who you are but I was thinking about writing some skelies with goth reader for some good time now, so thank you for this request 🙏🏼🙏🏼 Also, I added out Nightmare because I can <3
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Featuring: Dust, Killer, Nightmare and Ted.
Masterlist
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Killer
He finds your style... Interesting to say the least, in his words "It makes you look like the baddest bitch on the multiverse"
Definitely brags about it to the others "Ha! I have a groth partner and you don't!" "You mean goth?" "That's what I said idiot"
Finds Cyber goth and Punk goth the coolest styles, but let's say the truth, it doesn't really matter what substyle you wear, your clothes are all over the floor in the night anyways.
He can and will make flirts involving your dark aesthetic, especially if you're vampire goth.
"Hey sweetheart are you a bat? Because you can come bite my body any time~" "Killer we're in the middle of hiding a body what the fuck"
Ted
Your style helps him remember you, it's so different, so distinct from the norm that it makes his mind recognize you from maybe miles away.
Ted finds some of the songs pretty relaxing, it's one of the rare types of music that doesn't hurt his "brain".
People are scared when you both go anywhere.
Though he kinda likes it, no one can bother you when they think you're a freak.
Loves seeing you get ready, especially if you're traditional goth, he could stare forever, seeing you carefully putting eyeshadow on makes him feel so calm.. it makes his day 10 times better for no reason.
He'd make cookies of you, for no apparent reason, and then give them to you.
Dust
He fucking adores you.
Whatever you say he does, no questions, he just does.
Let him do your makeup. Pretty please?
Loves every goth substyle, but steampunk and vampire goth hold a special place on his soul.
Dust actually really loves fashion, and yes he will choose clothes for you when you don't know what to wear, and trust me, you end up looking fabulous.
Wastes all his money on you, skirts, boots, pants, anything you like he buys you, even if he had been in debt once for buying too much.
Nightmare
Oh my, he's actually head over heels.
This hoe's rich alright? It does not matter how expensive the prices may add up, it does not matter how many clothes you want, he's buying it, it's not like he'd run out of money anyway.
He likes the music, it's one of his favorite types actually - but he still prefers his classic music, "no offense darling.. classic is just better."
And if you're traditional/romantic/Victorian goth?? Lie down on the bed because he can't control himself anymore sweetheart - and he's making sure you aren't walking for some good time.
You're married to him, so you're now also ruler of his kingdom, and your style fits perfectly with the gloomy vibe of his realm.
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cynarisgayass · 5 months ago
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helloo! I have a req for the to scream or be silent. (I'm really sorry if u are already full of requests)
could you do Xiao and Scara/Wanderer (up to u!)?
I think it would be quite interesting to see what they'd do in this scenario
Thank you sm!
𓍊𓋼~To scream or be silent PT 3~𓋼𓍊
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Type: Headcannons
Description: HELLOOO!! Dw, you're currently my only request so I'm happy to have you! Hope you don't mind I added Venti and I hope you like dis~ So for anyone who doesn't know, this is a series where genshin characters react to a reader who will go completely mute or talk 3,000 miles a minute. Mostly a comfort type of fic!
Part 1, Part 2
Rating: Comforting fluff
Reader: GN, Slight autism/adhd vibes
Includes: Wanderer/ Xiao/ and Venti
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Wanderer:
To scream:
He can get a little overwhelmed when you're in a hyper state, maybe even a little annoyed, but he's trying his best to be better about it. It's not that you are actually what's bugging him, he's just not used to so much talking, he doesn't know how to react when you want to tell him every detail about a book you just read or a show you just finished. To him this is whole new territory that he's not really comforting with yet.
However, when he does find a way to sit and listen to you patiently and you give him that smile of finally being heard...he finds it very very cute. He'd never say it aloud though...
To be silent:
He's the king of the silent game, the second you no longer want to talk, he no longer wants to either. He may look grumpy while he sits across from you or lays in bed staring aimlessly at the ceiling, but this is the time you both use to unwind. He loves those moments with you because it calms him, calms both of you and it's easy. If you're hyper fixating, he's not far away, destressing about social interactions and classes at the academia. If you need a break from speaking cause you just can't anymore, he's feeling the same...and ever so often he lets you closer to him to cuddle, but it's so sappy to him that it only ever rarely happens. When it does though, it's very enjoyable.
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Xiao:
To scream:
He's always happy to hear your voice, to hear that excited fast tone you get when you're talking about something you're currently obsessed with. For so long he'd gone without much conversation that now he craves it from you, to the point that he'd sit on the roof with you all night while you went on and on about everything. Till you eventually fall asleep on him that is, then he'd carry you to bed and hope you'd find him the next day to do it all over again.
To be silent:
He understands everyone needs a break from socialising sometimes, but he struggles with how big of a break you want. It's difficult for him when you're hyperfixated and he wants to know wether or not you want him nearby, he can't exactly ask because he doesn't want to disturb you. When you go mute just so you don't have to talk, he finds himself feeling awkward cause he's not sure if you want to be alone or not.
More often then not he's very gentle with his voice and movements, tiptoeing around you because he knows better then anyone that alone time is alone time. If you do initiate a cuddle when you're in a silent phase, he will gladly accept and pet your head to comfort you.
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As a god he's met all different types of people and has came up with many a ways to make them feel cared for. You are no exception. The second you start telling him about about a song you've just heard that you're in love with, he will learn it just for you. Say you are obsessing over a new item you've just bought, he wants to know all about it. He gets just as happy as you, if not happier because he loves how bright your smile is.
Venti:
To scream:
To be silent:
Just as before, when someone's silent around him, he understands completely. He will get out his quietest instruments and provide gentle background music, improving on his lyrics or coming up with new tunes to play later, all while you're hyperfixated on something or another. He will sing you songs when you don't want to talk so you won't ever feel awkward about lack of noise. And when you truly want pure silence, he sits by you and holds your hand, letting the quiet settle in.
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Felt a little extra sappy with this one hehe. Also 20 followers now!! Woohoo!!
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sevs-corner · 1 month ago
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Lemme remind you that you asked for this.
So let’s imagine emo jock ghost practically harassing reader every day for a new mixtape, but reader being an emo nerd also gets bullied on the daily. And Simon notices, would he become protective of her?
Let’s also imagine reader in a band, probably a bassist or something. What would his reaction be? To the band, their music, live gigs. Would he harass reader for their music ass well?
Let’s imagine as well reader is a feminine pretty girl on top of emo. A lil gothic. Maybe shy and sweet, but a freaky dommy mommy when she get comfortable. How to Simon take that?
You can reshape all this however you wish, don’t feel pressured to do it all if you don’t want to. I just wanted to let it all in your hands
Lots of love 🫶🏻
THE WAY I GASPED AT THE FIRST SENTENCE ALREADY WAHAHAHAHHA
Thank you so much for feeding into this actually-- YOU COOKED !!
(Will be editing and adding onto this more tomorrow my time but holy shit i needed to respond to this asap)- edit#1: I have come back to rehash this even more LMAO
you can find the prev ask here !
Tw: 18+ Content beyond this point - MDNI
Simon would DO notice but he makes no moves until you're close enough to do that
Like, to the point of hanging out outside of class, exchanging phone numbers, exchanging mixtapes, exchanging cigs (exchanging spit too but thats a different point)
If you're at that point of the relationship, only then would he be protective of you and actually stand up for you
He would even protect you from the other TF 141 members if he sees you being harassed by them (but he still tries to keep it lowkey- not wanting the others to know that he's been keeping you busy and occupied that they can't play with you after classes)
All because you already promised to play with him the night before
I actually also though of reader being a bassist! (I love bass covers of songs and will always look for a bassist in the band because they are the secret carry's of a song frfr)
So if you were, you played with either a new or old band (when you moved to the new highschool)
Sometimes you would bring your instrument with you to school to shred behind the bleachers or find an unoccupied room
And, lucky him, he hears one of his favorite bands song being covered
Surprise, surprise- he finds you
Just ripping out a new one with the sleek bass of yours
Then on, he started taking more interest and actively tries finding you and where you practice
And he just so happens to catch wind of you preparing for a concert
He just so happens to be there when you have a concert
Just so happens to get lucky and get those VIP tickets
Just so happens to be one of the lucky few that gets a meet and greet with the band
He definitely will vibe with said bandmates and be invited to an after party where he drinks with everyone (he asks Johnny to hook him up in advance of course)
He doesn't even need to harrass reader because he is your number 1 fan
He already bought all of your cds-- you "just need to sign 'em", he says, as he shows up to your meet and greet
You're a bit shocked but you try to hide that giddy feeling thats threatening to burst because you feel like you'll push him away (you wouldnt be able to- he is, once again i say with a loud ass speaker, HOOKED LINED UP, AND SINKERED)
So you try to act lowkey but he's actually pissed off this, hoping you'd be more excited to see him
So he still acts gruff with you around school afterwards
And if reader is a feminine goth dommy mommy?
Oh my days-- it is over for Simon
The 180 from your outward personality being sweet and all that to just dominating him with with most disgusting and filthy words
Oof, he is down on his knees for everyday if he could
Whatever you say, he will do it
Even going against the other 141 guys
And my oh my, will he be so possessive over you that he wouldn't even dare to share the experience he gets when he has you in the privacy of his room
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weebsinstash · 1 year ago
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the brand new Angel Dust song that just came out has me thinking how absolutely fucked a Reader who is a dancer/musician/singer/producer would be with a yandere Valentino because it really does seem like, coming off of just the general materials and vibes I'm getting, that Valentino also turns his pornstars into sort of miniature celebrities, dare I say, idols even, which would maybe inherently fit the theme of Hazbin Hotel being a musical sort of show at heart. People break out into song, Asmodeus runs a club where music is performed, Angel sings as he strips, Alastor just... as is like just his entire aesthetic and musical number was 🤌, sing about being horny, sing about being addicted, sing about being sad, I dunno there's just an inherent love of music in all of it
I've never really posted about it in detail but I've thought of the ever so elusive MALE READER x Valentino (or transdude/intersex Reader because like, I guess i would, have to, accurately research what having a dick would feel like for smut of that and, I don't know, it's my turn on the gender power fantasy and I say--)
Male Reader who just keeps to himself and waits on Val's table "because you're too stiff, you'll scare off other customers" and one night the Overlord just catches you seemingly alone sweeping floors/cleaning while dancing/singing something, that whole trope where you just don't see him or have your eyes closed and practically do a full musical number until you notice him, just like seating himself in a chair, smoking a cigar, looking at you all smug and horny and thinking of all the different things he could use you (and your holes) for
Absolutely does he exploit weakness and if you don't have a prior addiction, he'll get you one. He'll shotgun something straight into your mouth, mix something into your weed, put a pill in your drink, nudge you towards that alcohol you're trying to stay away from, he'll do it all. He'll get you so fucked up your entire body is buzzing and you're stumbling and you can barely even move and that's when he pounces on you, doing whatever he wants, looking at whatever he wants, touching wherever he wants, and you might not even remember it afterwards and you'll only find out when he shoves his phone full of pictures in your face to mock you
You can't stay closeted/hiding an interest for men around this creep because he'd be secretly feeding you like ecstacy or something that loosens your lips and has you blabbing all your secrets and feelings to him in a horny fucked up haze. The blackmail potential with this dude is IMMENSE. He'd get you fucked up and delirious and film a cell phone shot of you taking his dick and threaten to show it to everyone he wants to unless you do whatever he says (and he's already showing it to people behind your back anyways, but, it's to be gross and coo over how cute and sexy you look taking his loads, stuff like that)
Valentino would take that passion and talent for music that you have and do something gross with it. Oh you're an actor, huh? Good, good, so your reaction will be experienced and authentic when he asks you to bring him a coffee on set and suddenly you're being literally dog-piled on by like 5 ripped hung hellhounds while cameras are rolling :) he thinks he might have an interest in your body, oh, suddenly there's a mandatory employee calendar photoshoot where you he to wear a thong or something skimpy and he can see everything but your genitals (and can tell whatever the situation down there is if you were trying to hide it. Fat ass? Exposed. Secretly a grower/hung? Exposed.)
At the end of the day you're his bottom bitch no matter how big or tough or maybe not even gay you are, because he even has lesbians cuddle up to him for Hot Girl Clout and that shit was on his Instagram. Everything's about him having pretty trophies and nice things and pampering himself while treating others like shit. Yeah, you'll be his little caged pet he obsesses over, but you'll be a very decorated, very well-fed, very financially spoiled little caged pet. If you're gonna get regularly railed by some nasty huge egotistical demon, it might as well come with some sweet perks like a deep bank account and all the luxuries his self-absorbed ass can afford, right?
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weemsfreak · 6 months ago
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The Only One
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Hi ya'll, happy pride month!!
Sorry for being mia, I have been quite busy with school and also working on this (slowly) all of June. I was unsure of the vibes I wanted this story to give, as I have been feeling confused(?) as of late, and for some reason June has brought many feelings and a couple crap experiences that I wanted to incorporate into here. I did make the story hopeful toward the end, but I just wanted to say that if anyone feels this way, you are not alone!
Calling our Lesbian Headmistress to help make the confusing and lonely times a bit better with a pride event. I know not everybody likes to celebrate pride in this way, but I thought it was cute.
Larissa Weems x studentreader (platonic) ~4.6k words
Part of my 'All the Time' series, based on reader being a lesbian but struggles with her sexuality and falls for her straight friend (canon experience ;))
Warnings: partially closeted, mention of family not understanding, self reflection (internalized homophobia/being proud)
༻༺
Nobody ever talks about how lonely it is, being queer in a small town.
The lack of representation, of places to go, and people to meet. The sliver of hope that you will feel safe if you decide to venture, if you decide to try.
Her with him and him with her and 'girl crush' this and 'man crush' that.
But all in all, you thought that perhaps the worst of it all was the feeling of being the only one.
You listen to songs that describe other places, places you wish your mother would tell you to go.
You know she wants you to stay, but you can't ignore the crazy visions of you in…well, somewhere that perhaps doesn't exist- or maybe it does.
Somewhere a different version of yourself could live; hopeful, happy, proud.
Your favorite movie, which makes you feel accepted, alive, is less than ten years old, even though you're a fan of old classic Hollywood.
You don't see yourself in them.
Many times before, you've heard people say 'it would be so much easier to be gay.'
They must've been joking, of course; but being gay was not a joke.
They joke about being gay but they've never wondered if their family would still love them.
They joke about being gay but they've never been scared of their friends abandoning them and talking behind their back.
They joke about being gay but they've never rejected a man with the reason of being interested in women, just for the man to ask if it's the truth, 'they could turn you', so they say.
They joke about being gay but they've never been the quiet one when others talked about boys.
They joke about being gay but they've never felt like they were disrespecting women because they found them attractive.
They joke about being gay but they've never been the outcast.
They joke about being gay but they've never worried about their loved ones not attending their wedding.
They joke about being gay but they've never pretended to like men to try and fit in with their peers.
They joke about being gay but they've never had nobody to talk to.
They joke about being gay but they've never had nobody to cry to.
They joke about being gay but they've never wished they were a boy, for the sole reason of a woman liking them back.
They joke about being gay but they've never had to love somebody in secret.
They joke about being gay but they'll never know what it feels like.
As bad as you felt, through the loneliness, the grief, the 'what ifs' and the doubt, it wasn't the fact of being queer that scared you, it wasn't that you weren't open, or accepting.
What did hurt though, was what came with it.
The fear of never finding someone, the fear of being rejected and harmed in public, the fear of never understanding how you really felt; the fear of feeling too deeply.
There have been times where you almost, almost, decided to leave it be.
'In another life' you said, shrugging your shoulders as a tear dripped down your cheek at the thought of faking it, and marrying a man.
But one day, you were reading a book dated from the 60s, when the realization hit you.
Years ago, regrettably not that many, you would not have the choice, you would not have the freedom.
And here you were, in the age of progression, hiding away in the land of heterosexuals.
You had a choice, you had freedom.
For the woman before you who were stuck in sham marriages, cried themselves to sleep, snuck around with another woman and feared for their life, for the women who raised children but not with whom they loved, for the women who had no such thing as freedom of choice.
You would not fake it, you would not hide, you would be your true self for them, and for you, regardless of the very possible fact that you could be the only queer in this small town.
༻༺
The headmistress stood outside of the chemistry classroom one gloomy morning, greeting students as they entered as your teacher always did.
You sauntered through the halls as you watched your peers and their modernistic and typical ways.
You weren't sure who's twisted idea it was, to put hundreds of adolescents in underfunded schools run by people whose dreams were crushed years ago…but you admired the sadism.
Opening your locker and retrieving your books, your sketchbook met the floor with an echo when a guy accidentally bumped into you.
"Oh crap, sorry Y/N"
You gave him a menacing look, before taking a breath and straightening yourself out.
"No worries."
His friend, who had shoved him into you, continued on to class as he spoke from down the hall. "C'mon man, leave the freak alone."
You expected him to continue on as well, but he didn't.
"How are things going?"
You'd likely be late for class if he kept the conversation up.
"A lot of this" you shrugged, pointing to your books.
"Yea, me too. The harvest festival is coming up though, I know you love the fall, and all things creepy."
You huffed in amusement, nodding your head.
"It’s nice to have things to look forward to."
He smiled and nodded, looking to his feet.
"Well, I'll see you there. Maybe I'll message you?"
You shook your head uninterested, not holding him to it.
"Sure."
Bending down to pick your sketchbook up off the floor, it was open to a doodle you had done which was rather, well, not appropriate for school.
Slamming your sketchbook shut, you stood and met your locker mirror; your own reflection, as well as the principals, smiling back at you.
Jump scare.
"Good morning, darling."
You spun around in surprise, staring wide eyed.
"Principal Weems, good morning."
She nodded as she looked at you in amusement, hoping to hide her true thoughts about your morning interactions.
"Where is Ms. Currie?"
The principal tilted her head at you, "Out today. I was notified last minute, so I'm your substitute."
Well, it was your lucky day.
The principal never failed to notice your…disinterest.
She didn't fail to notice the way some students picked on you, nor your lack of emotion; your presence of indifference towards men.
She saw herself in you, you were just like her.
That thought brought her both joy and pain.
༻༺
Sitting in the quad, you nervously twisted your fingers as you watched your friend approach.
You had heard, apparently, that it was a 'cannon lesbian experience' to have a crush on your friend.
Man were they right, and man, did it hurt.
She sat with a smile, though you could see that her attention was diverted.
"Hi."
"Hey Mar."
You swallowed, looking her in the eye across the table.
"I um, I was thinking, the Rave 'N is soon, maybe we could go together…"
Just then, you watched Gannon make his way to the table and sit beside your friend.
She squealed lightly, pulling him closer to her.
"Y/N, did I tell you Gannon and I are going to the Rave 'N together?!"
Your heart dropped, but it wasn't anything new, it wasn't at all surprising.
For you knew your friend liked men, but you had thought that maybe, well, you didn’t know; maybe there was hope that someone could be like you.
"Oh, uh, congratulations."
Your heart panged as they looked into each others eyes, smiling in anticipation.
"So, what were you talking about?"
You shook your head and let out a weak chuckle, quickly thinking of an excuse.
"I um, I was thinking maybe we could get ready for the Rave'N together, that could be fun."
Marcella smiled as she stood, linking her arm with Gannon's.
"Sure! I'll see you later!"
The principal, who supervised lunch in the quad, watched your rejection with disappointment and regret.
It dug deep, it brought back memories of her own time at Nevermore; the hate and the heartbreak that she felt, that you felt.
Sometimes, things never changed.
'I don't know if I believe the way I feel is real
And I often wonder if it is
Watching your friend dance with a guy
And pondering whether it's what she truly wishes
Should you step in, or leave her be?
You know you wouldn’t wish it, but does she?
It hurts a bit, a little, a lot; watching her dance so close to him
And maybe she'd dance with you like that too
But not in this life, no, not now,
For she's dancing with him, and you watch from the crowd'
༻༺
You knew it wasn’t the fault of your own; the despair, the regret, the loneliness.
But, you couldn't help but feel it when you were alone, so utterly alone, regardless of the fact that you could be surrounded by people.
They'd never understand the feeling of being so outcast, ironically, the feeling of being so different. The feeling of being told that how you felt was somehow wrong.
You felt it, you felt it wholeheartedly; and how could your heart be wrong?
Your parents, who never meant any harm, contradicted themselves.
Honestly, you couldn't exactly say how, but it hurt in a way that you didn't understand.
You thought maybe they were smarter, more knowledgeable, perhaps wiser than you.
They had always said that you could talk to them, but it was useless, as any attempt made you feel worse, not better.
They had been on this earth for sometime, however, surely they must've experienced the hate, and transformed themselves to some degree?
Wishful thinking.
They could never be so open.
And you think, maybe that's what hurt the most; wishing they could understand, wishing they would care enough to understand.
Alas, wishing was useless.
There were nights where you prayed for an older, wiser being to cry to. Someone who could tell you what to do and how to feel, someone who would listen, someone who would care.
Someone who would see you. Someone who understood, because they felt it themself.
༻༺
You made every attempt to be true to yourself.
To not lie, to let yourself feel what you felt, to get out more; to live.
It was hard to be true to yourself, though, when your friends agreed to accompany you to a pride day in Jericho, and then ditched you.
You resented them, you envied them, they didn't know what it felt like; they never would.
The hurt multiplied ten fold when June came around. The hiding, the thinking, the loneliness, it didn't settle, it didn't stop.
After an hour of scrubbing off your makeup, crying face down into your bed, and ditching your  themed outfit, you arrived in Jericho, the opening ceremony finished.
The town square was very festive, multiple restaurants and shops agreed to host a scavenger hunt, crafted special meals to celebrate, provide smaller fun activities, and fireworks. You were proud of the small town of Jericho, they were trying; as were you.
And although they were trying, these activities were not really fun to do, well…alone.
Alas, that's what you were. Alone.
Passing by the Weathervane, you saw a small group of Nevermore students on their way out. You wanted to join in, but you didn’t know them, not that well.
Peering over at the counter, you found a drink special for the day;
'buy any regular sized drink, get rainbow whipped cream for free.'
You snorted, it was rather cheesy, but cute.
Stepping up to the counter, you ordered an iced coffee.
"Would you like rainbow whipped cream on that?"
You sighed, about to shake your head no when you heard a voice at the other end of the counter.
"Thank you, dear. This looks delicious."
She was standing tall with a red lipped smile, peering down at her hot chocolate; rainbow whipped cream on top.
You had to agree, it did look delicious.
"Yes, uh, whipped cream please."
As soon as your drink was made, you beelined it for the door, hoping she wouldn't see you.
It wasn't that you didn’t want to see her, it wasn't that you didn’t want to talk.
It was that you didn’t want her to see you- alone.
Unsure of where to go next, you stood on the sidewalk and tried your drink; delicious.
The doorbell rang and she stepped out, gazing around the streets.
In a flash, you turned and headed down the sidewalk, away from the activities, away from her.
"Y/N?"
You stopped, slowly turning as if you were unsure of where the voice had come from.
A wave, a smile, and she was next to you in a few strides.
"Darling, you're going the wrong way, the festival is this way!"
She never failed to make you happy, her and her rainbow hot chocolate.
You shrugged, "I uh, I don't really want to participate."
Her head tiled in question as she caught sight of your drink.
"You're not interested in celebrating pride?"
Well, that just made you sound homophobic. You shook your head quickly.
"No, no I am. I just, my friends were supposed to come with me but, they changed their minds I guess."
The principal looked down at you, your head hung in sadness, perhaps shame.
Today was not a day to be sad, it was not a day to be shameful, it was a day to be proud, to celebrate.
"Well, I am here with a few Nevermore students. I am proud to support them, no matter who or what they are."
You couldn't help but smile crookedly in awe, meeting her appreciative blue gaze. She bent down closer to you, softening her voice. "That includes you, love."
Your heart beat fast as you stared in surprise, tears threatened to spill as you felt accepted and cared for, for the first time in a long time.
Taking a sip of your drink with a shaky hand, you fiddled with your jewellery.
The woman saw you thinking, contemplating.
She felt the exact same at your age. Knowing who you were, to an extent, but pushing the feeling away with every chance you got.
You didn’t want to, she knew, you wanted to be proud, she knew, but it was hard when you felt like the only one, the only one in this small town.
"How about we try the scavenger hunt, hmm?"
You looked up at her with a frown, but inside you felt joyful.
"We're probably already behind" you chuckled.
The woman waved a hand in dismissal, "Nonsense. We have a good chance if we work together."
༻༺
1.
You made your way back into the Weathervane, retrieving the first clue to the hunt.
'If the first pride flag was designed in Jericho, it would've been designed here.'
You passed the first clue to her, knowing the first pride flag was designed in 1978. If it had have been designed in Jericho, well, you had three options.
The woman smiled, gasping lightly as she recalled "'Sew it forward', it was established here in the 1960s."
༻༺
2.
You followed the intriguing woman to 'Sew it forward', watching as she retrieved the second clue and stamped the pride book red.
She took the clue between her fingers, narrowing her eyes at the small writing.
'This famous bar in New York City was the site of the 1969 riots, a pivotal event in LGBTQ+ history. Find the Jericho bar that starts with the same letter.'
You racked your brain around the bars in Jericho. You have never been to the bars besides for lunch.
"Stones!"
The principal raised a brow at you, a small smirk on her face.
"What?! Just because I'm not of age doesn’t mean I haven't been. Stones has good pizza."
A loud laugh was heard throughout the fabric shop. You were overjoyed that you could make her laugh freely, albeit most likely sounding stupid.
She headed for the door; and you would follow her anywhere.
༻༺
3.
Arriving at Stones, you found those also attempting the hunt, and those drowning in drinks.
You stamped the book with the second stamp, orange, and retrieved the third clue.
'Locate a pin or item that displays personal pronouns or sexual orientation, both important ways to respect people's identities.'
Leading the way out into the street, you looked around.
You didn’t remember seeing a shop with a prominent pin or badge.
"A pin or badge."
You looked up at the tall woman, her eyebrows furrowed in question.
Raking your eyes over her form, you found a brooch on her jacket, one you knew she wore often.
Lips.
"Where did you get that brooch?"
She peered down at her brooch, straightening it out as a light blush overtook her cheeks.
"Oh, my brooch. I got it at the antique shop, Uriah's Heap."
Uriah's Heap, a shop so very, well, out of the ordinary.
It was your favorite.
You stared at her for a moment hoping she would catch on, until her eyes widened in excitement.
"Let's go!" she smiled, grabbing your hand as she drug you to the shop.
༻༺
4.
You stood outside of Uriah's Heap, finding a large progressive pride flag pin on their window.
You knew this was a scavenger hunt, a race of some sort, but you always loved searching for hidden treasures in the shop that many people didn’t appreciate.
Following the principal, she found her way to the antique jewelry.
Choosing a vintage locket, you placed it on the counter and found a basket of pins staring back at you.
"Hello, did you find something of interest?"
The woman, who you remembered enjoyed chaga tea after working here on outreach day, peered down at you.
"Yes, may I purchase this?"
Peering over at the tall woman, she held a brooch up to you.
"Do you think this is nice, darling?"
A brooch which you thought resembled an eye. Very fitting for the principal and her unique look.
"It's beautiful, it matches your bracelet."
She smiled gratefully down at you, placing it on the counter.
"You are very perceptive" she remarked.
The lady rang up both items, the principal speaking up.
"Oh, I'll purchase that separate."
You shook your head at her with a sly smile, "I got it Principal Weems."
After purchasing your items, the principal retrieved the fourth clue and stamped the book yellow.
'What LGBTQ+ novel, written by Sheridan Le Fanu, preceded Dracula?'
You had read this book recently, an easy clue, really.
"Carmilla"
The woman looked down at you in surprise, nodding her head.
"Great novel, absolutely the best. I'm proud" she winked.
You smiled, gaze landing on the floor bashfully before peering back over at the pins in the basket.
The woman noticed and sorted through them. "Hmm, so many options. Would you like one?"
You watched as she held them in her hands to you, every option they had available.
There were so many colors, so many flags and pronouns.
You hummed and hawed over them, knowing which you wanted to chose, but still unsure.
"Well, I think I like this one."
The principal chose one; red, orange, white and pink stripes staring back at you.
Your mouth opened in shock as you watched her pin it to her jacket.
She smiled mischievously, "What's the matter, darling?"
The lesbian flag, something you didn't see often included in pride merchandise.
"I, uh, are you…" you stuttered.
The woman chuckled, straightening out the pin. "A lesbian?"
You nodded speechless as you stared up at her, thrill running through your veins.
She clasped her hands together and gave one nod, a bright smile as she batted her eyelashes your way.
Her support, her happiness, the confidence that she had, it made you want to cry.
You were so, so happy for her, you were so very proud.
Proud of her for her openness, proud of her for her representation, proud of her for being her true self, and for showing others that it was okay to be gay.
Grateful for her bravery, to show others that they were not alone.
You took a deep breath, "Can I have the same one?"
She dug through the pins, finding the very same flag and holding it out to you, "May I?"
You nodded, presenting your jacket to her.
She pinned in on, running a hand soothingly over your arm.
"I'm so very proud of you, darling."
You breathed in heavily, taking in her sincere and caring smile before meeting her gaze.
"I'm proud of you too, Principal Weems. And I'm so happy for you, thank you."
It was all the principal had wished for on this day, to help at least one person through their journey. To help you present yourself, to help you feel like you deserved to be seen, to help you feel proud.
"Of course, love. Now, where can we find the novel 'Carmilla'?"
Well, the library or bookstore, of course. But, you took a bet that Carmilla may not be at the library, so you headed to the bookstore.
5. Crow bookshop
You retrieved the second last clue, stamping the book green.
'Locate the basket prepared for a festive outdoor meal, filled with colorful snacks and drinks. Perfect for a celebration under the open sky.'
The principal looked down at you in contemplation.  "The Basket, like the restaurant?"
You shrugged your shoulders, unsure of where else they would be referring to.
༻༺
6.
You arrived at 'The Basket', a restaurant just before the beach.
There were a few specials, a fruit basket, a flight of ciders, and a flight of sliders.
You knew the principal was a fan of burgers.
"Are you hungry?"
The tall woman looked down at you, smiling as she read over the special.
"Chipotle, Bacon and cheese, Veggie, Bean, Texas, and Chicken sliders. Would you like to share?"
You looked over the menu, rereading what she had just rhymed off.
Nodding, you asked, "What's a flight?"
She chuckled, ordering the special for you both.
"You're about to find out."
Sitting at a table on the back patio, you settled down across from the principal.
A moment silence, you looked her up and down, questioning many things.
An older, wiser being. A beautiful one who appeared to be pretty open, who seemed like she'd understand, who seemed like she cared.
"How did you know that you liked women and not men?"
The woman raised her gaze to you, lips stretching into a sad smile.
She took a deep breath and smoothed a napkin over her lap.
"Well, when I was your age, this small town was all that I knew, just like you.
I knew that I didn't feel the same as my peers, I never cared to talk about boys, I never really fit in in the way that I hoped to.
One day I realized that I wouldn't at all mind kissing my friend, in fact I longed to" she chuckled. "Representation was lacking, but what little of it there was, it helped me realize how I felt as I grew. It's hard to accept yourself, for many reasons, but when you try to push it away, it doesn't get any better, it never changes."
Your voice was hoarse as you asked in confirmation.  "It never changes?"
She shook her head, "It never changes. You have to decide for yourself.
Do whatever makes you happy, feel whatever makes you happy, no matter how different it is, no matter how alone you may feel."
You pursed your lips as tears built in your eyes, she was right, of course she was.
"Well, it helps knowing I'm not the only one."
The woman nodded her head in agreement, wallowing over the memories of her feeling alone, of her heartbreakingly coming to the realization of how she truly felt, of who she really was.
It brought her sadness, to know that others felt the same; perhaps even worse.
"The journey is not an easy one, it's not for the weak. You have to know that you're strong, and you're worthy, always."
The sliders were placed on your table, averting her attention.
She carefully cut them all in half, holding up a piece of the bacon and cheese as she offered the rest to you.
"Bon appétit."
The principal stamped the book blue and picked up the last clue.
 '"At midnight, in the month of June, I stand beneath the mystic moon." What establishment is named after this poet?'
She looked down at you with a finger pointed your way.
You scrunched your eyebrows, Edgar Allan Poe.
The only establishment could be, "The Poe!"
You and the principal laughed, shouting the answer at the same time.
༻༺
7.
 You headed to The Poe, a small museum and shop on the beach that sold trinkets, drinks, and ice cream.
Principal Weems stamped the last page purple, turning in the scavenger hunt book to the shop.
"Well, congratulations! You were fifth to finish the scavenger hunt."
You laughed, fifth place.
The tall woman smiled down at you with a wink, "We're losers."
You both were, in fact, losers.
After collecting your prizes and ordering ice cream, which the principal insisted on, you made your way to a bench on the beach.
You watched the woman with great interest. An intelligent, interesting woman she was. A powerful, selfless woman. A perceptive woman, a force to be reckoned with.
You hoped and prayed that you would grow up to be at least half the person that she was.
The principal caught your interest with a low chuckle.
"I'm having lots of fun with you, love, but I'm sorry you had to spend the day with your principal."
You tilted your head in confusion; you were not sorry, not one bit.
"I'm not sorry. Today was the best day I've had in awhile. Thank you."
The woman pouted, opening her arms to you; you gladly embraced her.
With a deep breath you pulled away, placing your hand in her soft reassuring one.
"So what happened with your friend? The one you wanted to kiss?"
The principal chuckled remorsefully. "Nothing."
Looking out over the water, her smile turned to a frown.
"I wanted to hold her, to protect her from men with all the fury I had grown.
They don't see her beauty like I do, they don't care to.
But unfortunately, it's the same old story."
She turned to you with sad eyes.
"A girl cries over a girl and that girl cries over a guy, and well…
it goes on and on and on,
and it doesn't stop.
It never stops."
You were just like her, perhaps there was hope for you.
Just then, fireworks lit up the darkness of the beach. All colors of the spectrum were on display, but all you saw was red, orange, white, and pink.
Your attention was then diverted to a girl wearing a Nevermore uniform as she made her way to you.
She waved, "Hi Principal Weems."
She then looked to you. "Hi Y/N"
She spoke with the principal as you analyzed her. You recognized her, but you didn't know her name, so how did she know yours?
The girl's eyes landed on you once again, meeting your gaze. You didn't want to ask.
"Aura, I like your pin." A sly tone to the older woman's voice.
You followed the principals gaze to the pin on Aura's jacket, then you peered down at the pin attached to yours.
"Thanks Principal Weems" she smiled, eyes slowly trailing to the woman's pin, then to yours.
Your eyebrows furrowed, and Aura's raised in surprise.
"Oh, we all have the same pin!"
The principal chuckled, gazing down at you with a bright smile.
"See darling, you're never alone. I promise you're not the only one."
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pixelxgore · 4 months ago
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hers a billfold wip as a treat i changed his face bc i have free will
The art is to encourage you to read my silly little insanity (you should totally do it btw)
I'm dyslexic so sorry if anything is spelled grotesquely wrong lol autocorrect sometimes has no idea what i’m trying to spell
Starting with my head cannon because every thing will make more sense with it (or it wont that's entirely up to you) Imma try my best to make this enjoyable
So I head cannon both bill and ford as aspec this is important for the rest trust (I'm Aroace myself so some of my words are based of of experience ) being aroace doesn't mean you can't have a toxic one-sided relationship with a triangle
(most of this is pretty vanilla but I still wanna talk about it)
I believe it started of as a one-sided relationship on fords part (wow shocker) but it wasn't really love because he's ace it was more of infatuation (this stems from the fact he is a science boy and like ooo demon triangle thing) mistaken for love (I'm pretty sure this is common among aroace people or I just had an original experience) and maybe bill had just a little bit of the same feeling but instead of infatuation it was just pure obsession and when they had there little “tragic break up” and bill finally came to realize his obsession and it consumed him (idk i think that how abusive obsession is) and he realized he can’t live with out ford (i man he can but unhealthy obsession) and thus bills one sided relationship with ford where he just tries to get his puppet back but can’t figure out why he needs him so bad so he comes to the (subconscious) cuncultion there in love (because of course that’s the reasonable decision) and then you all know what comes after
I think bill has major will wood music vibes so I have nominated three songs of his for bill ford (cuz I'm genuinely going insane over them)
This is for fun and based off my head cannons
All of my discussions are made purely of the vibes the song gives me and how cool than animation in my head looks so take everything you know about these will wood songs and throw it out the window cuz none of that is relevant :3
i saw someone say “Will Wood songs can really be interpreted in different ways, and most of them seem like wisps of similar thought rather than a concrete narrative, so you're always a little bit right and wrong when you take a guess.” and i think you should keep that in mined
(I'm gonna embarrass myself so hard (⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄) )
I'm not gonna elaborate much but just trust me ok I put it kind of in chronological order
fords one sided relationship with bill: ...well, better than the alternative
Ok so this one is the least perfect out of all of them cuz it only half what I want (obviously this song is a stretch but hear me out) It's mostly for the like the last half of the song (remember what I said about throwing out the meaning for get that i lied) this song about the struggle ls of growing up and is a heartfelt plea to be understood and accepted for who we are (which obviously ford was a wired kid) and this kinda ties into the one-sided infatuation because it also is about the romanticism of nostalgic love, and the pressure of society telling you to find someone and "settle down" as we get older (witch yk aroace can’t really do that) so he’s grasping at the fact that he is enamored with this demon he just summoned (because science) so he can come up with this narrative in his head of how he is in love and can finally fit at least one of the societal boxes (idk it sounds like something to me probly ooc but I'm having fun)
bills one sided relationship with ford: ¡Aikido!
obsession with someone and how people often use coping mechanisms such as drugs to help with their feelings of uncertainty and helplessness. (yes this is copied not fully of a site this is tumblr not an english assignment) it also explores the idea that love and obsession can often manifest in neurotic and even pathological behavior.(oooo oooo look i’m so smart like staring the apocalyps) i’m not this cool this whole thing started with the first like whit h is “I apologize for playing with your eyes But I’m obsessed with you” witch reminded me of how bill used for as a puppet and then yk fords whole world came crashing down (this one explained its self more i have to do less mental gymnastics) and he’s like im sooo sorry i can’t live with out you
there whole relationship from the deal to the end of bill: Misanthrapologist ("In case I make it,"
Outtake)
ok this one is the one that mostly made of vibes because the song is about an unhappy codependent relationship through metaphors of christianity, nihilism, outer space, and mozart (witch only really encompasses a portion of the relationship) the song stars with “I wanna meet your make Shake him by his ensanguined damask lapel Holler "Look what you've done Gave this planet a sun And made a man to wonder if he's more than the sum of his cells"” which makes me personally think of obviously the deal fore made with bill and how bill stroked his ego all the way through there partnership um you can see where i goes from here just go listen to the song
ok this one’s off topic and only for my imaginary animation but the line “So how could I stand a chance, let alone dance With the way you sweep me off these two left feet?” just like imagine this with me it’s bill (human probably cuz i don’t work with the triangle) and young ford in the minedskape thing and its bill dipping ford and when it goes down it switches to bill and fort in bills pyramid thing with ford chained up do you see the vision ok I’m done now (´°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥ω°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥`)
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windvexer · 5 months ago
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i haven't done much spirit work besides leaving offerings and asking for help. so i was wondering what can i do to get from here to the point where i can see and commune with spirit the way more accomplish witches talk about?
thanks in advance should you answer this.
Hi!
This is a big answer, because it mostly depends on where you're going.
Psychism isn't the same thing as spirit work. I've written on both topics (these links are to my masterposts) and I think there might be some stuff there that can help you regarding communication.
But the downfall of all of these online guides (mine, or anyone's) is that most of them are about how to develop a specific skill and I'm not too familiar with any on the topic of how to find and develop your natural strengths.
Oh, and also the important cousin to all these topics, a lot of witches exaggerate, change, or misleadingly talk about exactly how they "see and commune" with the spirit world. (Or, as @friend-crow would likely point out... some people really do just get on the internet and lie.)
If the point of your post is that you received spiritual input that helped you correctly manifest a spell, you might say "my fairy husband told me to use thyme, and it worked!", which conveys the point.
However, this can conceal the reality of what really occurred, which could be something more like, "over the past few days I kept feeling like he wanted offerings of French food, and then I kept hearing commercials and songs about time, and then I got a strong urge to listen to Simon and Garfunkel, and then I realized he meant thyme the herb, and when I cast the spell it felt really good and manifestation was strong, and I attribute these choices and successes to my fairy husband."
So I think it's wise to pick apart some of the assertions from "more accomplished witches," especially when they are talking about what was communicated and not how it was accomplished; and especially putting an asterisk next to any experiences which are likely being shared because they are exceptional and exciting.
But even if communication is very clear and strong, there is often a price to be paid (either up front or on credit), like:
You spend more than an hour a day practicing (I mean... a lot of practice; often being immersed in the spirit world)
You have been cursed with Second Sight and can't shut the spirits out
You regularly perform powerful rituals of communication
You've built your life to welcome and house the spirits long-term, and over the years have developed very strong abilities of communication
You have become bound to spirits or gods in some form or another, making you an Oracle, and all the consequences that come with that
Beyond becoming bound to/initiated under spirits for whom you operate as an oracle, also building relationships with gods of communication and witchcraft, or especially any entities that let you See and Hear Things.
You've developed, built, and practiced with tools and rituals that facilitate clear communication
There are a lot of paths you can take, is my point, and you're probably best off exploring any of them you feel most comfortable with. Oathing up isn't for everyone, for example. I vouch for an eclectic approach. Give lots of different things a try, and lamps will light themselves along the path of experience until the fog slowly fades from the map.
If you'd like a list of specifics, here you go. Don't say I didn't warn you. (The warning is, if you See and Hear Things, you are also Seeing and Hearing Things. You know?)
Work with Lunar powers, perhaps including relevant Moon deities, who are associated with divination, clear-sight, and spirits.
Hekate, I bet, probably works well to unlocking the roads to spirit work. I don't know her myself but it seems like a vibe.
Enchant a holey stone to assist you with spirit communication.
Perform regular rituals, perhaps on the full moon or cross-quarter days, to open channels of communication and strengthen your abilities.
Blend and enchant incenses and oils to facilitate spirit communication; use as needed.
Fuck around with doors and keys.
But before all of this, definitely get a guardian spirit of some sort, or at the very least like a guy who you can trust.
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accio-victuuri · 4 months ago
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Somebody Else’s Arms : Timeline + Analysis ✍🏻 and a tiny bit of clowning…
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as what the title of this post says, let’s talk about this song and everything that goes with it. i didn’t expect him to actually do something like this but i’m not mad about it. there were already some rumors about it before the release, which personally didn’t come by my weibo feed so as soon as the poster teaser was out, everyone had their own thoughts:
1. It might be related to intercross, because of the water imagery and angsty title.
2. It’s a song he bought and at the time people were pointing to an existing track by cool heads prevail. and others were saying it may just be the same name.
3. some cpfs getting nervous cause it seems to be a breakup song, as if you all didn’t know he and xz love bittersweet songs!
4. connected to #2 cause a cpf station sister commented on this song before we knew anything like she had an idea that this will be performed all along.
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AND NOW THAT THE WE HAVE LISTENED TO IT, it is a completely different one from the track people were referring to. oh well. rumors are rumors.
yibo-official first released the teaser for it at 16:00 which to me relates to the “fact” that 16 is bobo’s favorite number. also the play on words and how they associate with each other is so interesting SEA = somebody else’s arms then using that as an overall theme like deep in the sea. not to be that person — but it’s so xiao zhan.
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then the hair reminded people of his style @ tencent starlight in 2019 with xz. but i have to say, when the douyin video was released, it made more sense because of the 80s vibe he ( along with other yh family stars ) was going for. the clothes and the hair definitely complete the look. i mean come on, he already had the vincent vega hair.
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the similarity in the caption, once again! xzs 🤝 ybo
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Now let’s move on the song itself ⬇️⬇️⬇️
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i can only find information on this songwriter, so i guess it’s true that he bought it. the lyrics is actually giving ghost by justin bieber which is a personal fave. it’s like acknowledging you love someone but they are gone now. also it’s interesting that he chose an english song! i’m gonna be a totally delusional fan here and think that this is because he is becoming more and more popular with the international stage so he chose this to connect more.
the choreography is also by his fave Franklin Yu who also did the dance for Rules of My World and Burn It All Down. backed up by Made in V which is a usual group that collaborates with him and XZ. 💚❤️
i think we are all surprised cause it’s in ENGLISH. like i understand if the chorus is, but as a whole. wow.
You're still in my heart
But you're in somebody else arms
You are still in my mind
But you are in somebody else's life
A part of you got left inside my chest
I try and I try to forget
You are still in my heart
But you are in somebody else arms
Memories that we said we made
Memories I can't never let go
How do they torture me the same
Memories that we won't even know
Let me out
Na na na oh My love my love
Na na na oh Let me out
Na na na oh My love my love
A part of you got left inside my chest
I try and I try to forget
You are still in my heart
But you are in somebody else arms somebody else arms
the lyrics are so heartbreaking 💔 and as i said, something we know will appeal to yibo. and as an artist, or any kind of creative i feel like this kind of emotion connects well to the audience. it’s the perfect choice! but that doesn’t mean it don’t hurt!
i know there might be some part of the fandom who will look at this and be like — oh they broke up! “see how sad his face was performing?!” and well.. dude, he is performing this song and singing those lyrics.. what should he do? smile? lol. his dance is an interpretation of it, did you see that bit where he was alone and everyone had partners? In the meantime he was all alone and cradling no one 😭😭😭
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it’s a performance. no matter how much we think everything has a personal connection.
anyway, it’s beautiful. his voice is amazing. i’m just imagining xz totally lovin this song and putting this on repeat! 🎧
and oh, the style of his clothes look like there are XX on it. hahahaha! a CPN fave!
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DISCLAIMER: this is all the information available at the time of writing. I will post separate ones if ever new information comes out related to this song. 🎶
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mysticheathenn · 10 months ago
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Your Ideal Person VS Who your Soulmate is
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Hi, Hexlings!
This pick-a-card is all about how you see yourself versus how others see you. This is a Patreon exclusive for all tiers.
Remember to take what resonates and leave what does not. This reading does not supplement your need to seek professional help.
Take your time when choosing your pile. Ask yourself the question and choose the picture that you can’t stop looking at. Listen to your intuition.
The Patreon Reading includes:
Who is your Ideal Person? (What do you want to attract)
What will your person be like? (The "One" / Soulmate")
Extra Messages
Patreon Link
YouTube Link
Ko-Fi Donations
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Pile l:
What type do you typically go for? (Who do you keep attracting) Tarot: 6 of Pentacles (Reversed), Justice, The Emperor (reversed), 6 of Cups (reversed), The Sun.
Two words: Losers & Pretenders. The song Pretenders by Foo Fighters popped into my head as soon as the Sun card came out to tie the pile together pile l. The type of person you typically go for are those who appeal to be one way but show up as something completely different. Similar to the song Stranger by Hilary Duff where she mentions in front of everyone you are the perfect person but behind closed doors you're nothing but a lie, a con artist, a loser. Your type possibly approached you with love bombing where they fed you a lot with false hope, and promises, saying that you deserve the world but their actions never back it up and it typically takes you a while for you to catch on but when you do you find it hard to leave because wanting to give this person the benefit of the doubt. For some of you, it's not even that, you're just d*ck or p*ssy whipped and can't let go of that. Your type isn't very generous even though they can be, just not towards you. They may come off as toxic masculine or even appear as masculine but again behind closed doors they are not that. The vibe I'm getting from your pile is you may have a thing for Alpha podcasters or pick-me podcasters. Those who claim they lay down the law when in reality they just transmute bullshit, manipulation, toxicity, etc. Remember energy has nothing to do with gender so this can go for anyone.
Patreon Post Link
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Pile ll:
What type do you typically go for? (What do you keep attracting) Tarot: The Emperor, Judgement, 8 of Cups, Ace of Cups, King of Wands, 6 of Swords (reversed)
Two words Pile ll: Toxic and Passion. Two songs popped into my head, Fetish by Selena Gomez and Toxic by Kehlani. A popular Tv couple also sprung into my head and it's Olivia Pope and Fitzgerald Grant from Scandal and in the words of our girl Olivia Pope: "I want that painful, difficult, devastating, life-changing, extraordinary love."You love your relatiponships toxic where you break up and make up agai with classic make up sex. Might I add kinky, rough, and passionate sex..I feel some of you like to be twisted like a pretzel, ahaha. No kink shaming here, lord knows I like it too. Another song came through it's by Beyonce Up All Night.
" So many people that I know, they just tryna touch ya Kiss up, and rub up, and feel up Kiss up, and rub up, and feel up on ya Give you some time to prove that I can trust you again I'm gonna kiss up, and rub up, and feel up Kiss up, and rub up, and feel up on ya"
Some of you keep going back to a cheater. If not a cheater maybe you are a side chick, mistress, maybe even sex worker for some of you, but overall the people you love to attract just aren't shit. But you can't help but keep falling for them because they fill some sort of emotional and sometimes even physical need that you feel you can't find anywhere else. This reminds me of when SZA mentioned her ex-fiance and how no one competes to the connection that they had. You may feel this way about the kind of people you attract romantically pile ll. You can't seem to let them go sometimes until you feel it's too much but then you are right back at it again with this person in the same cycle never wanting it to end. Hoping that what you guys do share is enough. I can tell this question "Is it enough?" may keep you up at night sometimes. Some of you the type you attract support you financially, some physically, others, emotionally.
Patreon Post Link
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Pile lll: (I teared up at your reading on Patreon)
What type do you typically go for? (Who do you keep attracting?) Tarot: Queen of Cups, 3 of Swords, King of Swords (reversed), 7 of Pentacles (reversed), The Chariot (reversed)
Two Words: Maneater & Manipulator. Maneater by Nelly Furtado is playing in my head as I look at your cards pile ll. You love to go for the bad boy/Girl/person type pile lll. Some of you keep dealing with heartbreak when it comes to the people who you keep attracting. They come in as a smooth talker and then leave you high and dry after they get what they wanted out of you. Whatever that is some of you it's sex, some it's money, your time. your beauty, or just for you to be their emotional dump. You may also be the type of person who when someone leaves you they find their person right afterwards. This is only for a select few of you. Overall you never get anywhere with your type because when you think things are going good things take a wild turn and you're left in confusion as to what happened. Why again are you going through people who don't truly want to deal with you but what you can give them. Culture Club "Do You Really Want to Hurt Me:
"Do you really want to hurt me? Do you really want to make me cry? Precious kisses, words that burn me Lovers never ask you why In my heart, the fire's burning"
You are tired, lonely, and worn out by the people who come into your life. You just want someone genuine I feel.
Patreon Post Link
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Thank you for liking and reblogging my readings. I always appreciate you guys on here and on Patreon. I hope you guys love this reading as much as I do. It was fun doing it, especially piles 2 and 3.
Stay safe and be blessed
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a-not-so-clean-blog · 1 year ago
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Nu carnival x shy gemless reader from Eidens world
Yakumo
What's better than one pretty shy boy? Two pretty shy boys! He's so comforting and supportive and works hard to get you little gifts to make you feel welcome in this world. He thought it was scary moving from the country to the city so he can only imagine how scary it was moving worlds. He just wants you to feel comfortable around him. Silence with him is comfortable, you never feel forced to talk if you don't want to. He's happy to just vibe with you.
Edmond
It's his “duty” to protect you while you're in Klein continent. Yeah no one else believes it either. He thinks it's impressive how you made it this far with no essence at all. He is awkward and doesn't really know how to approach you without coming off as a scary military captain. He relaxes more around you if you ask him about local food. You can see him open up when talking about local food and that makes you feel better. Sometimes he “accidentally” buys a second portion that he can't eat, you might as well take it so it doesn't go to waste.
Olivine
A little confused but he got the spirit. This applies to both of you by the way. You have no idea how a preacher got so jacked! And he has no idea how you got here without essence. He wants to help in any way he can. It's nice how genuine he is and that makes him easy to open up to. You wind up helping at the temple to thank him for his kindness. Just avoid some of his crazy fans and you'll be fine.
Quincy
Honestly couldn't care less where you come from, what you look like, or if you have essence or not. As long as you respect his forest. He may get a little annoyed if you try following him and can't keep up. He does appreciate it when you cook or do things for him but for the most part he's self sufficient. He won't push for conversation if you don't want to talk which is nice. Honestly it's going to be a little rough until you figure out each other's social cues. Topper is going to be your best friend!
Kuya
He already teases Eiden about not being able to use essence, and you are definitely not an exception. He is relentless in his teasing and sometimes takes it too far, especially in the beginning when he's testing your boundaries. It's not all bad though. He likes making things and clothes and often asks you to try out what he makes. It's his way of trying to be welcoming. He'll also ask about your world, different things about culture or really anything interesting. Maybe tell him something he can use against Eiden, I suggest the first line to a catchy song.
Blade
There is no such thing as being shy around Blade. I'm sorry but if you want no human interaction you are going to have to tell him and explain why. Besides being a little…energetic, he is so sweet. He asks a lot of questions about where you came from, and he'll ask Eiden if he can't find you. He will do his best to make you feel at home and welcomed with him. Absolutely no judgment with him either so you're free to express yourself however you want. He can be a little much but at the same time he's so cute. Like a big puppy curious about what's in your hand!
Garu
He is very good about your boundaries and will not cross them intentionally. He will also get between you and others if you look uncomfortable. It took some time to get used to his appearance but he was kind and patient so you pretty quickly warmed up to him. He doesn't know much about Klein culture because he grew up alone in the dead zone, but he's happy to explore and learn with you!
Karu
Similar to Garu but turn up the intensity. He almost bit someone in the market because they bumped into you and you got spooked. You were shocked when he called you slave #2 but Eiden explained that Karu doesn't really mean it. He got into a fight with Garu about it so now he just calls you human. As long as you put up with some of his weird mannerisms you get a free guard dog though.
Dante
Do not expect a sugar daddy with him. If you want something he is going to make you earn it, he does not believe in handouts. No it doesn't matter where you're from, or how kind, or weak you are without essence. If you want to stay in Solaria and not in Asters mansion than you will need to follow his rules. It's rough for the first week or so, but eventually you notice how you've changed. He'll have you interact with his servants and slowly you will become more social and have less anxiety and have started coming out of your shell. It's hard to see it in the moment but he's tough on you to help. At least help in what he feels is the best way.
Rei
He understands how Eiden got here because of the rainbow gemstone, but has absolutely no clue how you came? Sorry but he will want to study you. It's weird and awkward, especially because he doesn't talk while he does it. If you stay with him you won't have to go out much which is good for your shyness. When he grabs things for research he'll bring back stuff for you, snacks or food. He says it's to see how you react to stuff with different properties, but if you like something you don't even need to say anything and he'll get more.
Eiden
Oh he would be so protective! He remembers how sweet you were in his world, plus he remembers his scared he felt when he came to this world. He will have Aster let you stay in the mansion and you'll get your own room. He will introduce you to all the clan members, and warn you some of them are a little…unique. Big brother mode is in full force. If he can't protect you in this scary world then he will ask one of his clan members to help.
Aster and Morvay
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nepheia · 10 days ago
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08 ∙ on goodnight, all the same, and the ordinariness of love
[ ✼ final part of the self is not me, but us series ]
to continue right where we left off:
❝ how many people must turn how many corners to find their other half ❞
how many, indeed? how many people can say they found their other half despite being from two different worlds, six years removed, and a billion possible branches of reality in between them? 
there were countless ways things could've gone wrong midway: if yb had to give up dancing. if yb had never left korea. if yb had never even gone to korea in the first place. if xz had never decided to leave design. if xz had never pursued music. if xz had been eliminated on xfire. if they had turned down cql. if if IF.
but this is the timeline where everything went right. the timeline where they fought to make it right, and somehow found their way to each other.
ughgfjghfh sometimes it feels like i'm witnessing the greatest love story of my time!!!
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but despite the extraordinary circumstances they seem to share between them, the whole "the universe aligned for us" vibes of it all, their relationship is probably harder work than most.
they often spend weeks apart at a time, if not months. even if they really need the physical connection, they have a contractual obligation to their work and the people they employ to not act on every whim. they probably see each other through screens more often than they do in person — or sometimes, when they're really busy, not at all. 
their love is like water, steady and ever-present and reassuring, trickling quietly even if you don't see it; and i think this is beautifully reflected in goodnight. 
because for a song that is so clearly about love, nowhere — not even once — is there any mention of the word 'love'. instead, it's quite unseen, tucked away gently between the lines, around the corners of words and actions that ring with the familiar pang of affection:
❝ using a bowl of noodles, a bowl of soup to flush away this piece of sorrow ❞
❝ using a short phrase, a bowl of food to take away the entire night's loneliness ❞
in tears over the fact that food is a central theme to this song!!!!
for a lot of people but especially in asian families, food is the ultimate love language. y'know the joke about how a plate of sliced fruit is as close an apology as you'll get with asian parents? yeah. it's the mothers seeing their kids off to university with container upon container of pre-cooked, homemade meals. it's the spreads of food they make at home (a meal is usually rice + soup + dishes), the food all made to share with the ones you love rather than individually portioned, because meals are when everyone makes the time to be together.
it's how "have you eaten?" is a replacement for "how are you?" in so many asian cultures, because to eat is to be healthy and fulfilled.
xz has always seemed to me a keeper of tradition where he can. as someone who loves to cook + all the times yb took it upon himself to make sure xz was eating right + if you're a 🔴🟢 loyalist like me, the numerous food-related anecdotes they've shared, i can't help but think xz associates meal times with connection and with yb 🥹
and just for now, that's enough to tide him through the meals and days apart. that's enough to tide him through the wait, until the next time they can be together again, 
because i think waiting is very romantic,
❝ don't be too pessimistic; need to get used to it sooner or later  the one left behind has no choice but to bear it ❞
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because to love you is to love loneliness,
❝ the starlight i once looked up to see every star shining faintly perhaps loneliness is commonplace ❞
❝ every faraway place is right next to you ❞
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"and in my dreams hidden deep in my heart is the sweet fantasy of you and me / but then i realised loving you is loving loneliness"
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"i think loneliness will accompany me for a lifetime."
because you and i will be together for the rest of our lives, with just these feelings,
❝ don't retreat seeing your single-mindedness is able to disperse my anxieties ❞
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"it's okay, wang yibo. the road ahead is long."
because, at the end of the day, love is very rarely about the grand gestures. it's very rarely the diamond-studded necklaces, or the custom logo designing, or the changing flights to see which one will bring me to you faster. love is the "have you eaten?", the "be safe", the "let's do this together next time", the "this reminded me of you", the "don't stay up late", the "i'm on my way", the "i'll do this for you", the "i wanted to show you this", the "i'll wait for you".
love is making do with text messages or video calls or simply thoughts of the other person, a blanket of warmth as you lay down to rest, lingering over the last word because you're hesitant to part even through a screen, but oh—
❝ time to stop speaking, the sun's about to rise thank you for the 'goodnight' you gifted me ❞
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♥️
closing notes: thank you for reading all the way till the end of this absolutely unhinged collection of thoughts! i would love to hear what you think, or which part(s) spoke to you the most.
this was my first time writing up anything like this, and i had the best time chronically overthinking reading between the lines and stringing everything together into a narrative flow that (hopefully!) makes sense. unfortunately, like xz, i too am a victim of occupational hazards. shoutout to my film professor who made absolutely sure that i would never again be able to consume a piece of media like a normal person rip
i am usually at @cityscape over on twitter if you would like shorter, but no less deranged, word hours! ♡
← back to masterpost
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asherthehimbo · 1 month ago
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Love talk - Song Mingi
prev | M. list | next chapter | [WITH MY BIAS?]
words: 2.3K
notes: warnings, mature language, Mingi going through it, HONGJOONG is going throigh it bro somebody save him
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“I'm still not seeing him, what if he's really not here, what if I lost my one chance to be with the love of my life because I was stupid and clumsy and spilled water over a fucking card when I should've put the number in my phone the moment I saw the card. Or what if he is here and he doesn't recognize me because my hair is different what if-” Mingi's panic is stopped by Yunho, “Calm down” it's simple and had it been anybody else those words would not serve to soothe him, but Yunho's been his rock for longer than he could remember and they offer at least a bit of comfort.
Sitting in a Vip box right in front of the stage, Mingi and the rest of his members try and look around for the person Mingi described, it's a break in the concert and the first half had been great, the lead guitarist Hongjoong loves was back and had even angled his guitar in their direction a couple of times, whatever that meant. He was dressed differently from the other members of his band, his whole body covered, almost in a cultish cloak which matches with the vibe of the first few songs, but Mingi couldn't bring himself to focus on that too much.
He was constantly looking back, trying to spot the mess of pink hair between the see of bright pinks and blacks behind him, it was fruitless, he knew the area was too big for him to see [Name] by himself, and his friends had agreed to help during the breaks but they had been invested in the concert whenever the music riff would start. Something about the lead singer's voice seemed almost familiar, calling out to him but he pushed it back, ignored it in favor of looking through the crowds, it may seem disrespectful but he'd apologize after the show, they would understand right?
“I can't just calm down Yunho, I know you guys think it's silly and that I only knew him for a week but it was- It was just so real. It was like he knew me, like I knew him. He held me like I was the one thing he'd been searching for and it couldn't have been just my own mind Yunho, and I hate it. I hate it because the thought of not seeing him again didn't even cross my mind. I've started to forget his voice, do you know how much that breaks me?“ Mingi is almost crying, not caring that if anyone were to look into the box they'd see him.
“Listen, I know we all thought it was silly at first, but we know how much this means to you, I know how much this means to you. We'll find him alright? even if it's not right now, we'll find him, you don't have to worry. Just, just try and enjoy the rest of the concert, try and relax, if you're relaxed your memory might become more clear. Just for a few songs, if you still aren't feeling better you and I can walk out and get some fresh air okay? you said you met him outside last time, we'll look for him then” Yunho hand on Mingi's shoulder grounds him as he tries to blink away the tears, grateful for the dimming of studio lights as the concert will supposedly begin again.
He can hear the band walk back up the stage, the voice of the lead singer humming and a few giggles of the others ringing through the stadium. He can't see them, the lights are far too dark for that. “We've teased you a lot recently haven't we my petals?” The voice of the lead singer speaks for the first time that night, Mingi tilts his head in confusion at the feeling stirring in his chest, but it's blocked out by the screams of ‘yes’ from the crowd, the loudest being Hongjoong beside him.
“hmm, I'm pretty sure they've figured it out, our petals are smart” a female voice speaks from the stage, “yeah!” two other voices agree. “Very true, Soyeon” the crowd goes wild as a name is said, making Mingi remember that until now, it seems, everyone in this band has stayed anonymous. “Well, petals, I'm afraid I can no longer call only you mine.. you see, you've supported us through a lot, helped us in our search for our pink flower” he speaks again, Mingi faintly recalls Hongjoong giving everyone a run down on the bands lore, how the pink carnation is supposed to symbolize the happiest part of their life, their heaven.
“Even gave some of us ours” another voice says, “shut up Beomgyu” a female voice , different from the one identified as Soyeon speaks, the crowd loses it again as another member's name is revealed. “You're just jealous Petals love me more, Ryunjin” Beomgyu spits back, and this time Mingi is prepared for the eruption of screams that don't seem to end. “You two fight like an old married couple” the drummers, Mingi thinks, voice speaks. “SHUT UP CHANGBIN” the two shout in unison. The crowd is lively, all screaming newly learned names of the ones they love, next to Mingi Hongjoong is losing his mind as he buzzes in his seat waiting for his bias, the last name to be revealed.
“If I could continue my earlier sentence” the unnamed male speaks as the two youngest let out tiny huff’s of sorry’s, the crowd going dead silent as his unsaid way of asking for silence reaches them. “Tonight, as you could tell, we are sharing ourselves with you fully, and to do that, I wrote a song, it's quite different from what we usually give you, and for that I'm sorry. But as our story has gone on, and we've seen glimpses of all the incarnations pink flower” he takes a deep breath, “I believe I've found mine.. he's in the crowd tonight, so I hope he knows this songs for him” the last words are a bit shaky, and Mingi silently applauds the man for being brave enough to share this part of himself with his fans.
“Alright guys, don't go easy on him, you gotta tell him if you don't like his simpy song right?” Soyeon asks and the crowd gives a corus of agreement. “Here it is, Love talk, written by [Name] [Last name]” she screams, the crowd screaming with her as the lights turn on and the music starts. The air is sucked out of Mingi's chest, the name hitting him hard, the face he's met with afop the stage, staring down at him the moment the lights turned on, now dressed in much more revealing clothing, body littered with the tattoos Mingi recalls in his dreams? they hit him even harder.
It's not him who starts the song, but he's mouthing something to Mingi before he starts his own part, Mingi can't tell what it is he's saying. He can feel the eyes of his members on him, boring into him as they recognize the name and description, all probably equally as shocked as he is, but he can't tear his eyes away from the man atop the stage. The words he had said previously floating around in his head, the song was written for him, for Mingi.
Falling for a stranger (Yeah), good gracious (Yeah)
I might even fly out to Vegas (Catch a flight)
I'm thinking maybe you'd be down to do it (Yeah)
But you don't know what I'm saying (Saying)
[Name] moves his left hand that's not holding the mic, pointing his wrist in the direction of the crowd as the camera zooms in on what he's showing, a little pink flower, tattooed in the middle of his wrist, it's vine creeping up the palm of his hand and wrapping around his middle finger. He smiles at Mingi hopefully, and Mingi only smiles in turn.
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“with MY bias, you fucking slept with MY bias I can't have ONE thing in this group YEARS I spent thirsting for this man and you got to him first!” Hong Jong wails, as he's being comforted by Seonghwa, the members being in a room backstage, they were brought here by the security guards after the concert had ended, being told “The incarnations want to see you.” and no further explanation.
Mingi's stomach is rumbling with nerves, now that he's not looking at [Name], that [Name] isn't looking at him he wonders if the other is mad, he paces back and forth in the room, blocking out Hongjoongs wails and Jongho and Yeosangs giggles. He knows the thought is irrational, the man had just done an identity reveal just so Mingi would recognize him, but there's still a nagging voice at the back of his brain.
“Still can't believe you slept with him, - like I can't believe he's [Name], like damn dude I get why you loved his fingers now.“ Yunho speaks from where he sits and eats some candy, his face between impressed and uninterested. Mingi wants to smother him. “Never really given my fingers much thought, I'm glad flower liked them” a deep voice speaks from the doorway, the now open doorway, the doorway that [Name] and the rest of his band are standing in.
The voices in the back of Mingi's head disappear and his body acts on instinct as he moves to [Name], the taller meeting him midway and their lips entwining in a passionate kiss. Mingi's hands steady themselves on [Name’s] shoulders, fearing his legs might give out beneath him if he doesn't, the guitarist has one hand, his left hand, on Mingi's cheek, the other gripping his hip like a lifeline.
When they break away, eyes locking and laughter bubbling from their throats, Mingi hears a whine behind them. “Goddamnt, now I owe Ryujin 20 bucks. You couldn't have waited 5 minutes?” Beomgyu grumbles as he plops himself on the first open chair he sees. “I'll give you forty if you stop placing bets on me” [Name] says as he spins Mingi around so they're both facing the rest of the people in the room. Mingi's back pressed against his chest so tight he can feel the other's beating heart, his waist encircled by [Name’s] arms as he rested his chin on Mingi's shoulder.
“Deal!” Beomgyu chirps from where he sits, “I swear you're all idiots, introduce yourselves” Soyeon gives her bandmates a pointed look and they all make ‘O’ faces in realization that they have yet to do that. “There's no need, Hongjoong-Hyung raves about-” San’s words are stopped shen Hongjoongs hand loudly slaps his mouth shut, looking at the band in a panic. “what he means to say is we heard on the stage, right?“ Hongjoong directs the last word threateningly at San, who nods his head fearfully with watery eyes. Hongjoong releases his hand from San’s mouth, the younger immediately backing away from Hongjoong and pouting as he looks at Wooyoung who is clearly much more interested in what's going on than San’s pain.
“ah, same here, [Name] won't shut up about you guys he's been a fan since like debut” Ryujins words are met with a loud cackle from Beomgyu about the fact that his friend just got outed, and a grumble from [Name who simply hides his face in Mingi's shoulder as the idol gives him a curious look.
“So I guess we're like… members in law” Changbin tries to joke, earning a loud laugh from Wooyoung, the sound immediately making him brighten up. “I'm gonna take Flower so me and him can talk someplace private” [Name] speaks before directing his attention to Ateez, “really it is nice meeting you all and it would be an honor to talk more, but flower is more important to me” he tells them as he drags Mingi out of the room, pausing for a moment to look back at Hongjoong, “for what it's worth Captain, you were my bias wrecker” he says with a cheeky grin before closing the door, Hongjoong sitting still for a moment before letting out a strangled cry that's muffled by the door.
“flower?“ is the first thing Mingi asks when he and [Name] enter a room alone. [Name] only nods, “mhm, do you not like it?” he looks at Mingi with a hint of nervousness Mingi hasn't seen on him before, it was kind of endearing. “NO! no no I mean Uhm I like it but it's just… I don't know, didn't think you would have remembered me, especially named me after something so important” Mingi mumbles.
“I know it may seem like a shocker but I do actually like you, I mean I didn't exactly learn korean for nothing” [Name] huffs out a puff of laughter, but his words hit Mingi, he learnt a language for Mingi. “I- I never called you” is all Mingi could reply with, [Name] only nods in response, “yeah.. “ he bites the inside of his cheek.
“It's not that I didn't want to- god I wanted to, it's just- I lost your number- well not lost more so as spill water-” Mingi starts to panic but is cut off by the feeling of [Name’s] lips connecting to his own once again. He's silenced, feeling the tallers hand rest on his neck to hold him in place. The kiss is broken as their foreheads are rested against one another. “My Flower, I could honestly care less” [Name] breathes out, “Whatever happened, you still decided to show up, and you have yet to reject me, so I could honestly care less on why you didn't contact me” He removes his head from Mingi's as he looks down at him. “I don't want to think about the year I spent without you when you're in my arms now” he says, and Mingi responds by kissing him again, a smile on his own lips.
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Ateez masterlist | navigation
Taglist [30/19][open]: @idkwhatto-namethis @foxilsdenn @cometaveintisiete @poweringthroughthis @astro-doll-the-star @dahbee8 @mikahrh @moonslie04 @boopboopedoop @bee-the-loser @brrrkdslek @amphiroxx @ddeonubaby @ddextrr @conwunder @the-most-things-fan @ficlibrarie @leezanetheofficial @seongsangssbitch
notes: chat this is not proofread and im sick so please lmk if you find any mistakes
copyright | 2024 | @asherthehimbo
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oddballwriter · 8 months ago
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💳💥💳💥💳 THE SYSTEM WITH A METALHEAD I BEG OF YOU!! ( if comfy ofc )
Like short 5'2-5'3 reader who looks SCARY as shit and wears all black+tatted but is super cutesy until someone says the wrong shit and they get absolutely insane?
feel like steven would be like raging heart eyes
( maybe smutty maybe not either wayyy..)
- 🌑
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Steven Grant
Steven was scared of you at first, that's for sure. The all black and scary look definitely worked on him
It wouldn't be until you approached him that he realized you weren't going to bite him
He finds the difference between the two of you funny, positively.
To me, he seems more like a listener of ABBA and The B-52, those kind of older songs that are more up beat. Something that some suburban dad definitely has on vinyl
I firmly believe that Steven fucking loves the B-52s for some reason, he just has those vibes
Softer type of music, you know? Definitely not metal
But he does enjoy that you're kind and really nice rather than acting the part of how you look
But the one time when you two were out and someone insulted you both and you proceeded to yell at them and cuss them out was a day that he thinks about a lot. You weren't even yelling at them for insulting you, you just tore them a new one because they insulted him
He felt something that day, and he's not saying that he wants you to yell at him, but if you bossed him around a little then he's going to do it with a tent in his pants
He's too embarrassed to admit that but it's defiantly something that's there and you'll catch on someday
Back to the actual topic though, Steven doesn't like metal but he supports you liking it since it makes you happy
Would attend a concert with you but he'd have ear plugs in so that the music doesn't hurt his ears or stress him out
Also, you will have to leave him in the back because he's not going in the mosh pit, he would not survive. I'm sorry but he's not built for that
Marc Spector
Okay, Marc doesn't really listen to metal, he's not an avid metal listener. But I'm sure he's listened to a few songs and knows the more mainstream bands
He thinks you're cool though. Similar to my HCs for them with a goth partner, he finds it fascinating how you don't care how people perceive you and just be yourself. You're happy and he uses that as inspiration to be himself too
Marc would listen to metal music with you if it comes up, maybe you expand his knowledge of the genre
Do I think he'd handle a mosh pit? No, I think it would stress him out too much. Too much is happening and it freaks him out. Loves seeing you having fun though so go mosh for him
Marc also respects the fact that you're still polite and not true to how people think you would be, but 100% if you tell someone off then he's all for it. You tell 'em!
Since I went on a whole side tangent on Steven's music tastes, it's only right I do it for Marc
Marc sort of shares the same taste as Steven where he listens to songs that were around when they were younger. He's a classics kind of guy. He likes it when he hears people from back then on the radio
This man refuses to leave the 80's and 90's music scene. You will have to pry it from him in the field of reeds
Jake Lockley
Jake is such a "I love all genres" guy, he listens to everything and finds something to like in it. Even country, yeah sure modern country sucks but older ones are the ones he talks about when e talks about country music
So yeah, Jake definitely likes metal and can get into it. So feel free to play it around him
He also thinks you're cool and loves your whole look. Buys a shirt to match
100% would love to see you tear someone a new one so long as they deserve it. This man is an enabler, he's in the back cheering you on
Also, if you ask him to go to a concert with you, he will say yes so fast
Jake would survive the mosh pit, he would thrive
It lets him let out some stuff that he's been holding back and energy that he can't really put anywhere else
Honestly Jake would be so clearly into your whole metalhead life. He thinks it's hot. He finds it sexy. There's something about the loud music and look that does something for him and he's not going to hide that
Honestly, yell at him in bed, it'll be good foreplay if you're down
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onepieceisreeeeaaalll · 18 days ago
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The Straw Hats As My Spotify Wrapped
Look, this post is very self-indulgent and chronically online. I understand it's probably just for me, and I'm okay with that. I've watched a lot of One Piece this year and have made it all the way from Fishman Island to where I'm snuggly in Act 2 of Wano. I'll provide my rationale, but I just wanted to share the random songs from my wrapped that remind me of the Straw Hats and a couple bonus people! I'll also throw in a specific lyric to show what I mean.
THIS BEING SAID: I think everyone should do this. All the people I follow and all mutuals. I would LOVE to see everyone's wrapped songs and pair it with their fave characters.
LUFFY Meet Me At Our Spot - THE ANXIETY, WILLOW
Okay, I labored over this one. There are a few songs that give me Luffy vibes for different reasons, but this one kind of just fits in the sense where I just...feel like it's the best vibe? It's about youth and forgetting about your worries by spending time with the person you care about. Luffy is that person for so many people and his crew means everything to him. It's like an escape, kind of like freedom. Idk. I also thought about Doombop by the Toxhards for him.
Meet me at our spot Got something I wanna show you Meet me at our spot They can't find us there
ZORO Heavy Is The Crown - Linkin Park
I know people have their opinions about this song's placement in LOL and the new Linkin Park singer, but I think this song is just kind of awesome for a war chant. I feel like you could make an AMV of any Zoro fight to this song and it would elevate it.
You can't win if your white flag's out when the war begins Aimin' so high but swingin' so low Tryin' to catch fire but feelin' so cold
NAMI not yours, never was - Cherub Tree 
Please, please listen to riot grrrl music. Nami is a badass and this just feels like the perfect woman empowerment song for her.
Let's smoke the parliaments and burn them all to ashes You think you're gonna stop me? Come on dude As if you own me? Seriously?
USOPP Talk Too Much - Renee Rapp 
This is for a few reasons, the obvious one being that Usopp is a talker. Through-and-through. But it's the anxiety that makes him talk so much, which Renee Rapp talks about in this song. It's definitely more of a love song, but still. I think it applies.
I'm takin' everything I see as a sign and I know it's crazy But what if it's right
SANJI Home - Cavetown
OKAY OKAY so I know people have their opinions on Cavetown but everyone is going to have to pry this song out of my cold dead hands. When I watched Whole Cake earlier this year, my love for Sanji just grew exponentially. He's been through so much but he's still just such a beacon of light. He's kind, he's caring, even after all of the pain he's been put through. I feel like this song just kind of encapsulates that part of him that still feels vulnerable from the trauma.
Get a load of this train wreck His hair's a mess and he doesn't know who he is yet But little do we know, the stars Welcome him with open arms
CHOPPER HOT TO GO - Chapelle Roan 
This is mostly just because I saw an animation somebody did of Chopper doing the dance and I LOVED it. I always think of him and his cute little arms.
H-O-T-T-O-G-O Snap and clap and touch your toes Raise your hands, now body roll Dance it out, you're hot to go
ROBIN Mic Check - Sophie Hunter 
Confession: this was my number one most played song this year, I've had a rough year lol. Why I chose it for Robin is kind of self-explanatory. She has been through so much and her 'I want to live' moment is very obviously iconic and impactful to the story and her character. What I like about this song is it's kind of like an acceptance of those negative, self-harming thoughts and behaviors that permeate all of us. It's kind of like a 'fuck it, we ball.'
Mic check Think I got a jacked up preset Been feeling myself start to regress All I want to be is decent Yeah I need a pick-me-up
FRANKY Na Na Na - My Chemical Romance
This man has built and rebuilt himself. His transformation from Cutty Flam to Franky is such an important shift for his character. I just feel like this song is kind of like an anthem to that, though it's more about when he became a punk in Water7. It's his own 'fuck it, we ball.' It's high-energy and I think really fits him.
(Na, na-na-na, na-na-na) Let's blow an artery (Na, na-na-na, na-na-na) Eat plastic surgery (Na, na-na-na, na-na-na) Keep your apology Give us more detonation
BROOK DEBT COLLECTOR - Jhariah
This is purely because of vibes. The song is kind of like a dark fantasy which I think suits Brook really well. Plus it's got a cool kind of jazzy funk to it that I think the Soul King would heavily fuck with.
Gravedigger Cordial killer Your payment is due, they're looking at you We've done what we can, it's out of our hands Sooner or later, it comes back again
JIMBEI Read My Mind - golda may cover (originally by The Killers)
Ah, the Fishman Island Arc. The things that came out of it about Jimbei's time in the Sun Pirates just made me love him even more. They fought so hard to save people from slavery and the injustices of the World Government, and I feel like the softer vibes of this cover feel like it would suit a flashback or reflection of that time.
The good old days, the honest man The restless heart, the Promised Land A subtle kiss that no one sees A broken wrist and a big trapeze
BONUS: 
ACE Sirens - Bear Ghost
This one took a minute and I debated a few other options. Bear Ghost controversies aside, this song kind of reminded me of a meta-analysis I read about Ace a while back relating to how he perceives himself and his general self-worth. It was a very good read and maybe if I can find it I'll link it here. Anyway, this song is basically like an ongoing panic attack.
Brother, sister, please don't shame me Silence so loud But I promise I'm fine here I'm just getting my fill And if you had just what I need I wouldn't want it now
LAW vampire - Olivia Rodrigo
I slaved over which song from my list would work for Law, and there are so many. This is the least self-indulgent, the rest that remind me of him are purely based off of a stupid oc roleplay that I do not care to elaborate on lol. This song for Law, though - WOW, I just think of the struggle he went through finally taking down Doflamingo. It wasn't planned, it wasn't what his goal was, but it was so important for him to heal those old wounds.
I see the parties and the diamonds sometimes when I close my eyes Six months of torture you sold as some forbidden paradise I loved you truly Gotta laugh at the stupidity
DOFLAMINGO Good To Be King - Journey to Bethlehem
I'm sorry to report that I am a theatre kid. This musical has some bops, and while I'm not particularly religious, I absolutely loved this song. Every time I hear it, I think of Doflamingo and his time in Dressrosa.
Look how the peasants work down to the bone As I sit up high on my velvety throne Pulling the strings on the people below It’s so stinking good to be king
OKAY THAT'S IT! THANKS FOR READING IF YOU DID!
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