#but you also got to suck on the blood of a divine being

[justabiteofspite]

Astarion: "Wow, I missed the last Bhaalspawn crisis but now I get front row seats to the bloodshed!"

Durge: "My love...you've been inside me. You don't just have front row seats, you have VIP tickets and a snack bar."

[romeave]

the real reason why mcd zane sucks, from purely a writing standpoint, is that the writers really want him to be a pure evil villian. a force of evil that can not be reasoned with or stopped. absolutely nuance free and unsympathetic no matter how you slice and dice it.

which, would normally be fine, but is a weird choice for zane specifically because the writers keep naturally bringing up ways to give him depth, only to bend over backwards to shut it down once they remember zane is supposed to be cardboard flat for their kid audience to remember he's the bad guy.

and by all the time i do mean all the time. here is a list of roads blocked off by the no development tree that fell across the road:

Zane grew up isolated even by the standards of noble children, as heirs to the O'khasis throne start their training rather young, and, according to accounts about his childhood, Zane preferred to spend his free time alone as opposed to with family. At some point, his father contracted some illness that turns people into asshole tyrants, and began to groom a very impressionable Zane into a good and obedient pawn for him to control on his quest for world domination -> Zane was actually always evil from birth, which makes him immune to trauma. Garte's dickheadness actually only affected the "good" Ro'Meaves, and actually it's Zane's influence that turned Garte into a bad person. Even shit that Garte did long after Zane died are Zane's fault by proxy.

Zane's strained relationship with his brothers are also largely attributed to Zane being evil. Honestly there's a lot I could put here but the most damning one is probably the fact that Zane isn't allowed to talk about his upbringing at all after vaguely mentioning having a dead brother on the docks.

Zane's initially introduced as an ambitious young priest who came to power due to his commitment to his studies. He secretly uses taboo ancient magic that people can't exactly come across if they don't have an obsessive drive to learn about the divines beyond the church's teachings. -> Actually Zane stole everything from "real scholars" and never actually cared about his research outside of what power it could bring him. Apparently he can't even read for himself without a "real scholar" in the room.

Zane's most terrible deeds (Kiki's pendant, Alexis, Falconclaw) were committed in service of opening the Irene dimension. Its implied that some, if not all of the specific deeds needed to open the portal were decided long before Zane ever got his hands on the amulets. -> Each portal-opening crime is treated as its own separate crime, motivated purely by sadism. Falconclaw specifically is referred to as a "horrific mass slaughter Zane had a lot of fun committing", even though everyone involved just painlessly fell over dead

Zane only raises a sword to people to have actively betrayed him. Jeffory betrayed him, the Wolf Tribe was plotting to eat him the next time he showed up, and Garroth committed treason two seperate times and shoved his own sword in Zane's face before Zane tried to kill him about it -> Evidence that Zane is just a bloodthristy killer who would kill his comrades unprompted. His victims are not traitors, but martyrs to his unreasonable wrath

Zane possessed the protector's relic for a period of time. Surely he must've had some reason to hold it -> Zane was entirely undeserving of the relic. He only had it because blood relations.

Despite already having a relic, Zane wants to get Irene's relic -> Exclusively to hoard power! No personal reasons or family reasons or nerd reasons. Just an insanely dangerous and high stakes task done solely to have them all. Like its a pokemon with life steal.

Zane gets turned into a Shadow Knight. Zane used to have an absurd amount of knowledge on the Shadow Knights, lots of shadow knights hate his gay ass, becoming a Shadow Knight is usually pretty traumati--> Zane doesn't feel trauma, duh!! He's actually stronger than ever.

And I know I'm aphblr's foremost Zane dick rider but this isn't a Zane did nothing wrong post its just bad writing. Zane's actions affect so much of the plot its fucking bonkers to give him the depth of an evil sheet of printer paper. Aph's usually pretty good at fleshing out her villians I don't know why the one guy who everyone and their mother has a connection to is just a knife roomba of a man. At the bare minimum he should've been as fleshed out as his brothers because then it'd be a tragic tale about a family being torn apart by a system they benefit from instead of a karma-farming AITAH post set in medival times.

[slightly-knot-insane]

i have TWO possibly strapping ideas, dear friend. :}}}

one: Vampire, immortal, violent x earth goddess. Also immortal. Been here since the dawn of time. maybe she stalked him. felt some pitty :0 OR Forest nymph/ creature who can control vines and such x War hero who knows nothing but destruction.

Oooooh you got me thinking.

[ enby!vampire x fem!goddess ]

After 1000 years of being a vampire, they got sick of it and got mad with rage

Their destruction attracted the attention of the Earth goddess since she felt the pain of the animals and people the vampire hurt

The vampire is an abomination and she can't sense their emotions so she follows them and observes them maybe trying to find their weakness in order to stop them

One day the vampire stops their carnage and cries from rage and grief

Goddess sees them and approaches them, revealing who she is

Vampire begs for forgiveness and death

Goddess takes pity on them but doesn't want to kill them

She wants them as her lover, wanting their burning emotions inside her

Goddess takes her giantess form and the vampire can almost enter her pussy while standing

They lick and rub and massage her huge clit, while they bite her fat folds, sucking her blood

Goddess doesn't mind and feels only pleasure

Vampire pushes their arm into her pussy and finds her g-spot

Goddess moans and pinches her huge nipples

Vampire is now completely covered in blood and nectar from the divinity's cunt and they've never been happier

Goddess climaxes and almost crushes the vampire with her huge thighs spasming from pleasure

They are both very pleased so the goddess takes the vampire as her immortal servant and lover

[ fem!forest nymph x m!war hero ]

War hero finished his latest campaign and is going home

He has nothing but an empty house to wait for him

Years of war, no matter how successful they were, left him broken hearted and lonely

He makes a camp in a forest and falls asleep

A curious forest nymph notices him and wants to see his scars. They remind her of the floral markings on her face

Before approaching him, she covers him in vines and traps him

The war hero wakes up but can't move

The nymph holds him up, undresses him completely and admires his body, beautiful scars and muscles, and his semi-hard cock

War hero is blushing but enjoys the praise

Nymph wraps him up in her vines and strokes his body and kisses his thick neck

Hero is red and hot, pent up beyond words and his cock is twitching with beads of precum gliding down his shaft

Knowing he is seconds from climaxing, nymph stops touching him until he is semi-hard again, just for fun

Then she makes a vine dildo, pushes it into her pussy to lubricate it and then slowly slides it up the hero's ass

While grinding on the man's thigh, hanging above the ground by her vines, fucking his virgin ass, they both cum at the same time

War hero stays with the nymph and finds his home

[yaekiss]

on this sinful sunday, i’m having very holy thoughts of either branding or carving my name onto childe’s skin— maybe that tummy he’s so insistent on not covering up, maybe a nice little tramp stamp. i know he’s making sure it scars, picking at the scabs and whining for you to redo them if they dare to fade away— he belongs to you!

꩜ Room Content: Dom! GN! Top! Reader x Sub! Bottom! Yan! Tartaglia, reader's dick can also be read as strap, gore + eroguro, knifeplay + blood, masochist Tartaglia, spanking (just once, on Tartaglia), terrible wound care by Tartaglia please don't follow his actions, lmk if I missed out anything ! ꩜ A/N: Happy Whore Wednesday pulpie! Or uhhh, it was Wednesday when I started writing this. Got a lil carried away hehe :3 Happy Thotaglia Thursday! Slut on! (With you, Childe feels like every day is Thotaglia Thursday)

Anyways. Childe thinks of you as pure divinity, the holiest of beings, and he’s eager to worship all of you and bear everything that you’re willing to bless him with. Who is he to say no to the pain you inflict on him too?

This time, he’s cockwarming you, the heat and desire he feels is dizzying. You’re inside him and just the sensation of you filling him up perfectly has left him giddy with lust. His face is smushed into the mattress with his azure eyes already rolled into their sockets. Prior to this, he pressed a lavishly decorated dagger into your palm with a fervent sort of urgency, begging for you to mark him up however you like. You try to think back on what could’ve spurred this on. Was it that merchant trying to chat you up at the market the other day? Or perhaps it’s just a sick kind of longing that hangs around the ginger no matter how much time you spend together? One thing remains clear, at its core, Childe wants to be utterly and irrefutably yours.

Taking up the dagger, you admire the inlaid gemstones glinting in the lighting of the room, their colours matching the exact shade of your eyes and you’re sure that this must have cost an arm and a leg. Tracing the cold metal down the ridge of his spine, you feel him shudder, your ears picking up a soft keening whine. You start off slow, the tip of the blade breaking past skin and revealing glorious liquid crimson. Childe sucks in a breath at the delirious buzz of pain and pleasure that he’s subjected to at your hands. 

“Nghh… please I wanttt-! to be yours!” Greedy as always.

You take your time carving out your name into his flesh, revelling in just how many moans and whines you can wring out from the harbinger. Despite how muddled his senses are, he’s acutely aware of each and every searing twist and pull of the knife. Some of the warm blood trickles and drips down to where the two of you are connected and the sensation has him losing the ability to speak, brain reeling at how disgustingly intimate this whole act is. However, over time, Childe gets squirmy and twitchy with how pent-up he’s getting, the arousal in him pooling and heightening. That simply won’t do. Good boys need to stay in line while their lover is being so so so nice to them after all. With a pointed “tsk”, you land a hard smack on his ass as a warning. He yelps loudly at the impact but he gets the message, obediently staying still as you finish carving the tramp stamp. 

When you’re finally done, you pull out of him, the lack of your cock filling him up has Childe whining again but it snaps him out of his reverie. You reach over to grab a mirror and angle it so that he can see (read: marvel at) your handiwork. His eyes glint as he catches sight of the fresh cuts, the wound spelling out your name and the fact that you’ve claimed him as your devoted believer. However, he doesn’t let you go further than cleaning and disinfecting the wound site. (Secretly, he hopes that it leaves a permanent scar, an eternal pure white etched into his skin to show that he belongs to you without question.)

Throughout the whole healing process, he picks away at the scabs that try to cover the wound, opening it back up again so that your name is written in a carnal raw red. Whenever he stares at it in the bathroom mirror for too long and thinks that a certain part of it is fading away too fast without leaving a mark, he rushes to you, whining and begging for you to redo it with a frenzied tone in his voice. 

He wishes you’ll dig even deeper, maybe even push your fingers into his flesh until he’s screaming and clenching down on your cock, use his blood as lube as you fuck up into him relentlessly. The thoughts keep coming and you can’t go a full week without Childe pleading for you to lay your claim on him.

Maybe next time he’ll convince you to leave your mark on his abdomen so that everyone can see who he belongs to.

Thanks for reading! Consider supporting me on kofi if you enjoyed this or check out my other works hehe ♡

[fortheharbingers]

a/n: supernatural au of sorts. vampires, blood sucking, a vampire's bite loosely being described as having an analgesic/aphrodisiac effect on the human. prey/predator relationship if you squint lol.

If there is one thing Endo Yamato finds funny regarding people’s opinions- it’s their absolute failure when it comes to trying to guess who might be a supernatural and who is not.

Vampires are not an uncommon entity to run into at night- especially when you decide to present yourself like a real snack and make your way down the alleys a tad too empty. They always assume Endo is one, which he finds quite ironic.

It’s baseless fantasy and nothing else. They see the pale skin, his canines a tad sharper than a regular humans and heresay they heard about what kind of person he is and set their assumptions into stone. Sure not all vampires are turned into dust in an instant contrary to popular belief, but they don’t know what- they just see a man dangerous with a pretty face and wish for him to decorate their fantasies.

Oh how far away from the truth they are, Endo thinks to himself, as you snuggly make yourself comfortable in his lap, needy pampering kisses all over his skin and your body clinging to him already.

Digging your nails onto his back, you search for what friction you can get from the warm boy, desperate for more, nuzzling your nose into his neck and feeling his pulse beating strong and lively underneath the thin layer of skin.

"A little needy, aren't we?" Endo chuckles and pulls your face away from his, his grin growing bigger at the pouty you face you make, eyes closed shut and your face in discomfort.

"'m hungry..." you mumble as you break free of his grip on your cheek and latch onto him again, inhaling his scent. "And you smell divine- sooo good." You drag the word in your haze, inhaling his scent sharply.

"You flatter me, sweet thing." he says as his hands find your hips, grinding you up and down, listening your whimpers as you leave wet kisses alongside his collarbones.

"missed you... come inside..." your voice lulls him and Endo complies. How can he not when you always ask so nicely? He has heard of your kind being able to compell people if they wished- and were skilled at it, but never figured it out himself if you used it on him- always too eager to please you himself, he got lost in the sensations along the way.

It prides him in a way, to know something nobody else does, to be let in on a secret and not just be spared with his life but also to be at your side for as much as time allows.

Bringing one hand down and grabbing his cock, you draw him out of his thoughts and he follows in cue, thrusting in one go, slowly, watching as your face morphs in pleasure, as your eyes open wide, pupils dilatated and digging your face into his neck, gently grazing against his skin with your fangs. A little force and you could make him bleed in an instant, yet you wait, tossing your wool coat, as patience is the essence of a predator.

As Endo feels himself slowly losing his resolve at the feeling of your walls around him, tightening and sucking him back in every time he pulls out, he can barely hold it in. And just as his eyes roll back, his orgasm crashing over you, he feels your teeth sinking into your neck, the feeling of warmth and something akin to numbness spreading to his body, increasing the heat he feels, all over and especially down to his groin. He feels desperate already, to be closer to you as humanly possible, to stay inside of you forever, to fill you with his cum until you cannot take it anymore, until he passes out due to dehydration, his body begging to be used and to drink in your wanton moans-

You explained to him once before, when he asked what it'd be like to have a vampire feed off of you- how a vampire's kiss feels, like an analgesic drug, like an aphrodisiac--

You feel the first drops of his sweet, salty taste of blood on your tongue, warm and full of life, and smile slightly, feeling Endo cum and fill you up as his warmth spreads all over your body.

[serendipityandbenevolence]

I gotta say, when I passed out last night after writing this post, I didn't expect to wake up to people actually liking it. but hey! thanks for the support. As per my little footnote (if you didn't read it then sucks to be you ig) the people who commented got first choice of which characters im going to write. love y'all by the way <3 which means that first up is... Dottore! (as requested by @amber-sekio and @gallantys)

(I am not playing rn when I say that I spent a large amount of time reading Dottore x reader fanfic so I could figure out how the hell to write him and this is probably still ooc but i did my best)

Contains - Yandere behavior (kept to a minimum though) dottore being a charming ray of a human (he mentions enslaving other countries), discussions of blood and injuries

"Dottore?"

The silence from the hallway was almost deafening. The sudden intense quiet was broken only by the gentle crackle of the fire, a welcome reprieve as your words hung in the air. Perhaps it was stupid, to call for a person who may not be there and who, of all the Harbingers, might be the most likely to still attempt to kill you. A foolish whim, but nearly dying does funny things to a person's rational.

Your door slid open silently, revealing the Doctor himself peering in at you. He did not appear to be wearing his mask, but with the low light and strands of blue hair covering his face, you couldn't make out his features well.

"Yes? Can I help you?"

Something was wrong. His voice was too soft, his words too gentle, the whole demeanor was wrong. You knew he had segments that acted differently, but you couldn't imagine Dottore ever being that kind sounding. But you were in too deep.

"Can you come in here, please? I need to ask you a question."

A few murmurs struck up behind him, but Dottore simply nodded and stepped into the room, turning his back to you as shut the door.

"You know..." he mused as he clicked the lock shut.

Ah, there it was. With the door closed, his voice changed, with that hint of cruelty and mania that you had come to associate with him lacing his words. His blood red eyes bored into you, a sly smile creeping across his face.

"Oh, what's with the expression? You seem a little scared of me, Divine One. Am I not as nice as you assumed?"

He didn't allow you to answer, pacing closer to where you lay, buried beneath the pile of blankets.

"There's really no need to be scared of me. After all, I was the one who nursed you so lovingly back to health when you were brought here out of the cold. Aren't I so generous?"

"You healed me?"

You didn't bother hiding your concern. You kicked off your pile of blankets and assessed your body, trying to see if any of your organs were missing.

"My my, do you have such little faith in me? I am a doctor after all. One of the best I'll have you know."

He leaned against the wall by your bedside, giving you a rather unnerving grin.

"Well, you have my undivided attention. What was it that you wanted to ask me?"

You were starting to think that it was a very bad idea to ask for Dottore, but you also suspected that saying you wanted to talk to someone else would go over even worse.

"Yes, I just...wanted to know what I missed while I was asleep. You know, with the other nations."

"Ahh, of course! Well, upon some reflection they seem to have come to the conclusion that you are the actual creator and not a 'fake' as they so cruelly labelled you. Needless to say, quite a few letters of apology have been sent begging for your forgiveness for their dreadful ignorance. Including-"

He reached over to you, laying a shockingly gentle hand upon your bandaged side.

"-the one who nearly killed you."

"You know who it is?" you asked in surprise.

"But of course! Simply assessing your wound, I could tell the weapon and the particular style of it, which made it rather easy to cross-referencing that with the time and location that you were attacked and deduce your attacker with little difficulty. "

"Really?"

He scoffed. "No, of course not. They mentioned in their letter that they were the one who harmed you."

Dottore stepped away from you, pacing towards the door as he pulled a crumpled note from his pocket and tossed it onto the end of your bed.

"You should read it sometime, it is truly a delightfully pathetic read. They only made one mistake."

"Mistake?"

He turned to look at you and you saw that all of the cruel humor that had covered his face was gone, replaced with an infinitely scarier coldness.

"They signed their name. So now, I know exactly who will be my next experiment, when we invade the other nations."

There was silence for a moment, before his features softened and he let out a soft laugh.

"You should sleep. It's the best medicine after all. We can discuss this more in the morning."

Dottore went to turn from you once more, but paused as you opened your mouth.

"Dottore, burn the letter. I don't want to read what they have to say."

A wicked grin flashed across his face as he snatched the letter back up and strode towards the fire.

"You know, I think-"

He tossed the letter into the embers and watched as it instantly caught alight.

"-that you and I will get along very, very well."

Dottore pulled the door open and gave you one last comment before leaving, not even turning his head.

"Sweet dreams, Your Grace."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

That took me so long to write guys 😭 but anyway i hope you liked it! like i said earlier, i struggle a bit with dottore because he has all his different segments with different personalities but i think this turned out okay.

Also, the order for the next few harbingers will go as such

Tartaglia- requested by @gallantys and @followingyou247

Pierro - requested by @mistresssasori

Capitano - requested by @moonlite-drabbles @megsthings and @legendarysacrificer-blog (yall really love him clearly)

If you guys want to help me pick the order after that, go ahead in the comments!

also tagging @heizoubeloved in this because you mentioned wanting to see more!

[coldresolve]

Hi, I'm Elias, I'm a 26yo trans guy from Denmark. I write shit, I draw shit, and I get into unneccesarily tedious arguments with anons about torture apologia in fiction. I think that sums up my vibe

I've made a few posts about this already, but tl;dr: the Danish NHS has been refusing to treat me for gender dysphoria for the better part of a year now because they've deemed me "unstable." Unstable how, you ask?

I have depression.

No, that is quite literally it. Full context under the readmore.

Fighting to be heard and having the door repeatedly slammed in your face sucks peak ass, and I'm done now. The NHS is so lackluster when it comes to trans people, all of a sudden, it makes perfect sense to me why 31% of transgender Danes get HRT outside of the NHS.

And I'd rather not have to turn to the black market, so rn I'm hoping to get a prescription with GenderGP. The issue is, I'm poor as fuck and can't afford the start-up fees for the forseeable future - unless I do something like this. I hate asking others for money, and I hate it even more if I'm not in a place where I can give anything in return. But I also recognize I'm in over my head with this, so. If you've got a cent or two to spare, I'd be grateful as hell.

I've mathed it out, and my best estimate is that I need around 3500,- DKK / $500 USD. Again, this is just to cover the initial subscription as well as mandatory consultations/blood tests. I should be able to cover the prescriptions on my own, as well as further tests/consultations down the line, so I'm hoping this is a one-and-done sort of thing.

paypal: elimunpau@gmail.com

Also, important note. We're in a global cost of living/housing crisis and this isn't a strict life-or-death situation. If you're in a tough spot right now, don't send me anything, that'd just make me feel worse about asking. I appreciate the thought but you gotta take care of your own needs first. Peace and take care ✌️

So I've been dealing with major depressive disorder since I was 11. It runs in my family, and as you might imagine, after 15 years of living with this thing, I've learned how to manage it pretty well by now. I know what it's like to genuinely be unstable - and if I were in a place like that, no problem, I'd be open about that. I wouldn't be making decisions like this. I know myself. You kind of have to when you're dealing with a chronic mental illness.

Here's where I am right now: I've got no suicidal ideation, been clean from self harm for four years, no psychosis, no inpatient admissions for the last five years. I live on my own, take my meds, and I'm keeping my life in order. Depressed, yes, but about as stable as someone with my history can get, and ask anyone who knows me, me wanting to get on HRT isn't some spur of the moment decision. I've done a fucking decade of soul searching, and a few years ago, I finally (duh) reached the conclusion that living as a woman isn't something I can even fake being content with - believe me, I've tried. I'm well aware of the scope of medical transition, but I'm settled in who I am. And I just want to live like me now. That's the only thing I want.

If it counts for anything, my partner and family have supported me through this, which has been priceless obviously, but it also goes to show that me saying "I'm capable of making medical decisions" isn't purely a personal assessment. I'm pretty sure they'd speak up if they thought I was being unstable about it or whatever

But the CPH clinic for sexology, who have consistently refused to listen to me telling them all this, have somehow magically aquired divine knowledge on my capacity to make adult decisions about my own body, and on the basis that I have MDD, they're refusing to even set me up for a preliminary interview - one that would preceed a 6 month full-team psych evaluation before the prospect of HRT would even come up. They said in their latest refusal that they wont accept another referral from me until a year after my last in-clinic conversation with them, which happened on October 24th, 2023 - meaning that with the NHS, if they accepted my referral come October (which I don't have much faith they will), the earliest I could possibly get on HRT is April 2025. Arguing for my own sanity would've sucked enough as is, but it's made harder by the fact that they won't even talk to me. You're a trans guy who would like healthcare, but you have a mental illness? Good luck, you're on your own. Long live the Danish bureaucracy.

Dysphoria makes me fucking miserable. I'd rather not have to write a sob story here, and tumblr is like 80% trans people so I guess a good portion of you can imagine why waiting another year for the possibility of maybe-perhaps-if-all-goes-well getting on HRT would not actually make me less miserable about it.

So. I'm sitting down next week along with my mom to file a formal complaint with the patient's rights committee. I don't know what to call this other than some form of discrimination on the basis of mental illness, because nothing in my current situation would prohibit me from making medical decisions for myself. And I honestly don't think that a complaint is going to do much, but I intend to make it obnoxiously long, because by law, a specialized doctor and an attorney have to read through the whole thing. If you can't beat 'em, make 'em read 50 pages of you going into detail about why you think they suck, right

And yeah, like I said, in the meantime, I'm trying to go via GenderGP. It'd be nice if my poor ass could get HRT via the NHS instead of having to pay out of pocket, but apparently the bar for entry requires that you 1) have gender dysphoria to the point where it impedes normal function and 2) somehow aren't mentally ill. Who wrote these rules? Some 60yo cis guy in a suit in Christiansborg, I imagine.

Feel free ask about anything relating to this whole situation, I'll be as open as I can about it, cause I understand that if you're going to give money to someone, you want to know what it's going to. Though I hope you understand I'm not going to doxx myself more than I already have now, or give you my entire medical history - only what's relevant to my current situation.

I know Denmark is a welfare state and on a global scale we're doing alright, but I hope you don't mind if I say this: This shouldn't be happening as often as it does. Fuck the Danish NHS.

[marsbar17]

Hello! Do you have any Bloodhound × Reader headcanons? 👀

YES, SORRY THEY'RE MY FAVORITE CHARACTER IN THE GAME AND I RELATE TO THEM SO MUCH I HAVE SO MANY IDEAS ALSO SORRY FOR NOT ANSWERING SOONER

I'm going to assume that the reader is another legend in the apex games btw

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

《SFW》

• Bloodhound didn't reach out to you when you first joined, but that was normal

• The other legends assured you that they were cold with everyone, preferring to keep to themselves

• Your first match together, a duos on King's Canyon, you got to really see how their abilities worked and there was something wildly alluring about it

• There wasn't a lot of speaking between you two, more just observing each other's skills up close for the first time

• After winning that game, the games put you together more often, and through shared curiosity of each other, you got closer

• "You are very interesting, félagi fighter." "I could say the same about you, Hound."

• You started spending more time around them, they wouldn't reach out to hangout with you but they didn't push you away when you showed up at their door

• The line between platonic and romantic was sort of blurry, and neither of you could remember when supportive pats on the back and fistbumps turned into soft holding of your waist or them calling you 'elskan'

• It wasn't until one of the other legends pointed it out jokingly that you both realized you loved each other

• Dating them comes easy, since it felt like you already were

• Their love language is words of affirmation and quality time

• They always make sure you know that you are the most divine thing in the world to them, their gift from the allfather

• I can see them taking you into the woods to go hunting

• Just the two of you in silence, enjoying the sounds of the forest and feeling like the rest of the world doesn't exist

• Life feels easier with them, the pressure from the apex games and the syndicate seems to disappear when you're in their arms

• When you aren't on a team on the games, you seek each other out, competing to see who can kill the other first in a gory game of tag

• Sometimes they just follow you, and you've gotten better at seeing the signs of them, slight rustling of leaves or a crow nearby

• Everytime you're downed at their hands, they make sure to finish you off properly, never letting you bleed out in pain

• "Have I told you how pretty you look like this, elskan?" "Many times, but say it again, please."

• They'd lift your chin up with two fingers, unclasping their mask to give you a lingering kiss before the bullet rips through your body

《NSFW》 (with no specified genitals)

• If they're topping, it's full of praise and worship

• It's either vanilla, or really kinky

• Slight blood kink, bondage, maybe a bit of pet play, very much praise and worship or your body

• No matter what you look like, they think you're beautiful

• "Watching you take me like this, it's hard to control myself, elskan."

• Their favorite positions when topping are doggy and riding, although mating press is a good one

• They groan and let out small moans, but they're aren't very loud

• They're more focused on your pleasure than their own, making sure you like everything they do and that you always cum before they do

• They love eating you out/sucking you off, tasting you turns them on so much, same with the other way around

• Tug at their hair when they're in between your thighs and they will literally growl against you

• Overstimulation, either top or bottom, love seeing you cry and twitch from overwhelming pleasure, and they also love being reduced to a whimpering mess as you make them cum over and over again

• In terms of them being the bottom, they whine and whimper a lot

• Even as a bottom, they love riding

• Will literally grab your hands and drag them to their hips so you can hold them

• Pull their haaaaiiirrrrr

• Just a bit on pain, like pulling their hair or gripping their hips hard enough to leave bruises, gets them to cum so much faster

• Mutters your name over and over, worshipping you and making sure your name is etched in their brain while they cum

• Loves it when you leave your mark on them, it's completely covered by their heavy uniform but just the thought of it being there is enough for them

• Aftercare consists of a lot of cuddling and praise, both ways

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thank you for your patience! I've been doing stuff for my mental health recently and it's taking a lot of time out of my days (therapy 3 days a week is insane dawg) but I love doing this!

[uchihaharlot]

PLEASE I NEED THE EROTIC DANCE BUT WITH ITACHI PLS

Nonny,

I’m so uncoordinated myself lol 😂 are you sure? …ok.

NSFW; ‘erotic dancing’; withholding; pet me with your eyes only; oral/masturbation—for some reason I really like writing blow jobs now?? Also, did not extensively edit. My guilt of not writing for four days got to me lol.

Let’s see, let’s see. Itachi is more of a traditional man, while he likes to spice things up occasionally—he’s not boring, far from it. He enjoys the more simplistic things in life the most. So when his s/o corners him for a dance—again. He’s awfully…bashful. Intrigued, but holy hell this damned girl was making him question his sanity.

They way she yanked him by the lapel of his shirt and dragged him to sit in a fold up chair already had his face warming. Ever so cute is Itachi when he hides his emotions. It made these little salacious moments more precious to her. That a grown man would act as if they hadn’t been fucking for the better part of a year.

Taking the tie from his hair, she put hers up in a bun. Fiesty today, the menu reeked of blood, sex and booze. Well, not really. But her energy was charged, owning him with just a glance. Her house robe slipped to the floor and the outfit she wore underneath was entirely too inappropriate for his liking.

But he did like it. So much he ran his hands over it, slipped two fingers on each side under the garter straps and snapped them. Tested the thin material beneath his fingers before his eyes flickered back up to hers.

‘I like it.’ Itachi grinned and then immediately grew cross when she swatted him away.

‘Good. You can touch me, but with your eyes.’ Yes ma���am, no further direction needed. Black orbs spun into red pearls fueled by desire.

Itachi knew if he really wanted to, he could take this act of hers and commandeer it. Throw it beyond any woman’s wildest dreams. Though he really liked being the audience in these situations and not always the theater master. If she wanted to put on a show, Itachi would behave. For now—or not.

Ass down, face up. She spread her self around for him on the floor first. Sat in his lap and ground herself into his erection.

‘That hard already?’ Well, yea? What did she expect when the dainty piece of lingerie left nothing to the imagination. The garter straps grew taut on her thighs went she bent her ass over in his lip. If he stole a kiss, she didn’t chide him.

‘Let me see..’ A devilish grin spread her lips.

Itachi sat back, unfastened his belt and drew out his cock. Languidly stroked himself a few good times before she sat between his legs and licked up his cock. Sucked the tip between just her lips and then railed it to the back of her throat. His eyes never leaving that perfect mouth.

‘Sit on it.’ He breathed the words out fast.

She shook her head no and gargled him more, Itachi groaned and clutched her hair. Running her tongue over his sensitive tip and dragging it back down the base of his shaft. She worked him with two hands as her mouth cradled his testicles. His head tilted back, mouth open as she sucked them gently and lightly tugged them with her lips. When the pulse in his cock quickened, he was given control again. Along with options.

‘In my mouth or on my face?” Tongue out, the soft coo of her voice only quickened his hand. The sharingan spun wildly under lidded eyes.

‘On your face.’ He let out a soft grunt, pumped his cock fast and then slow again right as he came. His warmth covering her face like a sprinkler.

She was beautiful always, not more divine when like this. Covered in his silky cum. Itachi wipes the small bit form the corner of her eye before leaning down to kiss her.

‘Maybe next time you’ll do this for me?’ The roaring laugh that came out of his mouth made the post nut clarity hit harder than it usually did.

‘Maybe.’

…..???

[california-112]

Episode ask game!

-Beyond the Sea

-Irresistible

-Pusher

-Demons

(All my season favorites)

+ Excelsis Dei because I think you’ll be funny:)

Oh, multiple! This will be fun!

For reference and to avoid repetition, here is the scale:

Scum on Earth | Will Not Rewatch | Pretty Bad | Not Great but Charming | Objectively Not Good But I Had Fun | Neutral | Some Good Stuff Here | No Complaints | This is Great | This is Fantastic | One of My Favorites | Actually a Divine Work Nothing Will Ever Top This

S01E13 'Beyond The Sea' - This Is Fantastic

Sticks to the pattern of the Christmas ep going directly for the feels

Surprise Don Davis! But he dies basically immediately so :(

Scully's backstory gets quite a bit of a reveal though

Mulder whump! Complete with hospital scenes! The gods are kind to us today

I actually cheered when Scully went to Boggs after Mulder was shot and absolutely went off at him

And how Scully takes over on the case whilst Mulder is in the hospital and sees it through to the end...

The fake deal scene yesss

S02E13 'Irresistible' - This Is Great

I'm not gonna lie. First watch around I didn't find it too compelling

That said it was during the period when I was going through like seven episodes a day so...a lot of things flew right by me lol

Moe Bocks the UFO guy! Wish we'd seen more of him!

Mulder just took the case to go see the game and then all this happens. Bruuuh

Pfaster is creepy as f*ck just in general how did he ever get a job anywhere

Yet another Scully kidnapping :(

She does practically get away all by herself, though! You go girl!

Then when Mulder tilts her head after the rescue at the end...and the hug...your honour I have never felt more touch starved in my life who said that. Anyway

Great ep for Scully's character from an outsider perspective but sucked to be her :'(

S03E17 'Pusher' - One Of My Favourites

First of all the whole bit of Modell being able to just talk people into doing things is so interesting as a concept

This is the one with Dave Grohl in it for no reason so that's fun

The falling asleep in the car on the stakeout...

"Please explain to me the scientific nature of the whammy"

Modell looks like Sam Neill from The Dish or is it just me

The scene in the van where Mulder says 'smile, Scully' almost destroyed me

And then THE RUSSIAN ROULETTE. HOLY SH*T

Something something Mulder's mental state is secretly (!) really bad. Let's examine that in a fic (coming soon!) (hopefully!)

S04E23 'Demons' - One Of My Favourites

OH MY GOODNESS this ep.

First of all the scene in the motel where Scully takes care of Mulder I am DECEASED it lives in my head RENT FREE FOREVER

Particularly the line 'Did you take anything, Mulder?' as discussed in this ask

The rest of the ep though. Mulder's insistence to pursue the case despite his condition as he doesn't remember if he shot the Cassandras. The fact that he's actually literally having seizures and Scully is trying to get him to a hospital and he keeps refusing. And then the climax scene in the old house...waaa

And the fact that this is RIGHT BEFORE Gethsemane but we're not talking about that here

The amount of fics around this episode is obviously immense, but some of my favourites are Blood And Water by @agent-troi, Provisions by @freckleslikestars, and Dancing With Mephistopheles by Satchie, everyone go check them out!

S02E11 'Excelsis Dei' - Neutral

This is being kind. I might avoid it on a rewatch

It was boring even to skippy rewatch to write this but it would make good background whilst I'm working (recently I have been listening to episodes like audiobooks whilst doing particularly mindless tasks and it works surprisingly well)

I only really liked the climax scene in the bathroom and even that didnt climax enough imo

To quote the fic plan that I have for this episode:

The rest of the episode is meh due to the subject matter and portrayals etc.

The '''plumbing''' comment though 💀 Scully should have got to drop kick that guy

Also Teryl Rothery!!! Hello!!!

Thanks for this ask! It made my day a lot better to get to review these episodes! :)

[xerith-42]

Hello, you were open to asks right ? Do you have any head cannons about Shad and the shadow knights or how the Nether can affect the beings living in it ?

Obligatory reminder that I'm going to make it a habit to rename Shad to Araphel in all my posts until I don't have to put this reminder here.

I already touched on a few of my Araphel specific headcanons before (though there will be more), and I've made quite a few posts about Shadow Knights. The Nether on the other hand--

So obviously MCD was made long before the ever important Nether Update, but I think we should incorporate that into our ideas of this series. I'm just saying that a Bastion would be even more absolutely terrifying if the mfs hunting you in there were vicious Shadow Knights with a taste for blood that hasn't been satiated in Irene knows how long.

Warped forests are the most relaxing biome of the Nether, the colors of it often being a relaxing presence for Shadow Knights. Basalts are the worst to navigate, and even if they're immortal, dragging yourself out of a pool of lava you got concussed falling into because you made a single misstep just sucks no matter what.

Also, Shadow Knights aren't the only creatures of the Nether. Obviously I want all the Nether creatures that are there to be there, though I'd take Enderman out of Warped Forests and make Piglins a sort of shadow variant that makes it clear they were a race that existed in the Nether before, but Araphel's influence spreads like a plague. I think Wither Skeletons totally fit the vibe, I could see them just being the reanimated and smashed together bones of those who have fallen in the Nether but weren't worthy of becoming a Shadow Knight.

I think that Shadow Knights are adapted to live in the Nether. They're designed to sustain constant heat that's mostly dry (so living in Southern Arizona), and not much else. This means that the cold has a much more severe impact on them, and they really don't do well when it gets humid, girls are not built to sweat it feels so weird on their fucked up skin.

And there's those Shadow Souls! Those are a thing Jess wrote into the series! I think they're like the lost souls of those who died in the Nether who want to find bodies so they can become Shadow Knights...? Hold on Imma check the wiki.

Okay I was close, they're Shadow Knights who lost their physical forms and seek out a new host which... How does a Shadow Knight lose their physical form? Great question! I'd like to know the answer too! The solution to this problem is that they're both of the definitions I put above. I think they're great and totally seem like something Araphel would enjoy watching the pitiful existence of.

Because that's all the Nether really is to him. Another part of his game with Irene. Another playing field, an empty worthless world full of life that is only good to kill, maim, or take as his own for those same purposes. The life of the Nether never had a chance to fight against Araphel. Once he was able to return to partial power there was nothing that could stop him from spreading his miserable influence to the rest of this wretched realm. It's not like it was doing anything good to begin with.

I think the being known as Araphel that currently lives in the Nether is removed from the physical body he once inhabited, instead just being the worst parts of his soul banished. When Irene banished him she, and I quote "Shattered his relic". The relic is tied to the divine warrior in a very direct way, so I'd like to think that when his relic shattered, so did Araphel's soul. The better parts of his soul managed to find one another, refine, and reincarnate. Eventually.

The soul that lives in the Nether is the embodiment of his hatred, his jealousy, his rage, his resentment, all of the worst parts of his being condensed into a single irradiated spectre that refuses to rest. It seeks out the other parts of its soul, he seeks to be whole again. If Araphel can reform his soul and get his hands on that relic, then it's all over for anyone who dared to stand in his way.

When he wasn't in this miserable state, Araphel was once a man worth loving. He was known as the destroyer, but those he destroyed were those who threatened his loved ones. He destroyed tyrants, those who would abuse their rule, those who would harm his friends, and he would show no mercy to any being foolish enough to even think of laying a hand on Irene.

He had a rather dry sense of humor, one that bounced off of Kul'zak's endless ramblings and Menphina's sarcasm very well. He often sat with them in their little meadow, lamenting his woes of missing Irene while she was off saving more lives that he couldn't care less about. Araphel was the first to become disillusioned with humanity entirely, the near immortality of the relic weighing him down constantly. It was only a few years after he got it that he came to the conclusion only other relic holders could understand him.

The only reason that changed was when he got a whiff of betrayal. When he realized that something was wrong with how long Kul'zak and Enki had been gone, how Menphina was suddenly nowhere to be found despite eagerly answering his requests to see one another before. It was then that he retreated to the forest by O'Khasis with a mortal woman who held similarities to him. He wanted their descendants to look as much like him as possible.

He got his wish.

[alex-perry]

name: alexander “alex” perry (no relation to katy perry)

age: 32

birthday: january 22

zodiac: aqua sun, libra moon, virgo rising

place of birth: minneapolis, minnesota

occupation: architect 

neighborhood: asbury bay

mbti: infp

pinterest

this is alex and he is the most beige human you could ever imagine.

he is THAT guy who considers “meal prepping” an extreme sport.

bio:

he’s from minnesota, which is like just a giant icy wasteland filled with nice, boring people who think a wild night is a trip to ikea (maybe that's what shaped his taste in interior design but we will get into that soon). his father frank is a civil engineer. his mother susan is an english teacher. he has a younger sister named amelia, who recently graduated from college. his parents' whole philosophy is hard work and practicality, which is just code for “let’s suck all the fun out of life.”

alex's dad richard was raised uber christian in small-town in lexington nebraska, but everything changed when he went to college. cue the culture shock: he met new people, encountered different ideas, and quickly realized the world wasn’t quite like the way he was told in his little church. he met susan, a free-spirited liberal who basically turned his worldview upside down. when they decided to get married, as you can guess, richard's family did not take that well and all hell broke loose. his family basically went all 'THIS IS THE FUTURE THE LIBERALS WANT!!!' route ofc.

because of this divine union, his dad has been banished from the good ol' conservative family circle. they probably think he’s gone to the dark side. he only keeps in touch with one of his cousins. (the one happens to be the father of alex's quirky cousin andrew. and andrew is a chaotic entrepreneur, who lives in silicon valley).

he is also cousins with miss dakota @dakota-perry

so it's safe to say they don't spend much time with his father's siblings. the Perry fam only visits them during holidays.....

little alex was the type who actually did his homework on time and actually got excited about things like mowing the lawn. so it wasn't a surprise when he graduated top of his class and got a scholarship to mit. he studied architecture because.... well, bc he had no other hobbies. and i guess alex wanting to become an architect ever since he was a middle schooler played a role in that decision too.....

he aced his courses, probably wearing one of those dreadful beige cardigans, and designed buildings that weren’t about to fall anytime soon. in MIT he was the one who did all the work in a group project while everyone else was off having a good time. not because he was a control freak, it's bc he actually loved architecture. nothing got his blood pumping like a well-drafted blueprint. and as you can guess, he wasn't exactly fending off crowds of admirers with his passion for structural integrity lsfkslafkalsf

alex in a group project:

after mit, he moved to new york cityyyyyyyyyyy (pls read that with laszlo's voice). he got a job at an architecture firm called thompson & rivera architects, a mid-sized firm with just the right amount of prestige without the snobbery. he had a little apartment in hell's kitchen. his place looked like someone took an ikea catalog, sucked out all the personality, and called it home. minimalist to the point of tragedy, with a potted plant that only survived because it couldn’t be bothered to die.

alex didn’t just wake up and decide to move to asbury for the fun of it(that would be far too spontaneous for the practical prince). his design firm, landed a new project: a modern, trendy boutique hotel in town. he was picked as one of the junior architects to join the senior architects in overseeing the project. he’s not the lead designer OBVIOUSLY, but he's definitely in the inner circle, making sure everything’s structurally correct.

personality:

alex is awfully practical, grounded, and a bit of a perfectionist. and he justifies this by saying "i’m not being picky, i’m being precise". alex's idea of a VERY WILD night would be marie kondo-ing his collection of architectural books and magazines. despite his boring demeanor, he actually has a sense of humor and SURPRISINGLY he can take a joke. to mingle with the local folks, he joined the local bowling team. tbh he’s not the most outgoing person, but he values deep, meaningful relationships over casual friendships. once he is your friend, that means it's going to last forever.

outside of work alex enjoys cycling. (actually a little bit too much, he is cycling around as if he is training for tour de france). and then there’s his cooking obsession. during quarantine, he got into cooking and suddenly became that person who binged every jamie oliver video in existence. next thing you know, he be baking his own sourdough.

well, he has 'mild' ocd. and when I say mild, that's actually an understatement. he is very particular when it comes to organizing his workspace—everything has its place, and he gets mildly irritated if someone moves his things. he’s known to be a bit of a coffee snob, always in search of the perfect cup, and can be annoyingly particular about his brew (as someone who does not know shit about the coffee, I wonder how am i gonna write about this little quirk but we shall see).

OH OH OH ALSO HE IS A HUGE FAN OF THE KILLERS

connection ideas

cycling buddy: soo this dumbass is in a cycling group called "the pedal -pushers," (so original, i know). the group is full of people who take their biking way too seriously. their conversations are not the most entertaining to be honest, such as the best tire pressure or which helmet brand is the best. alex usually shows up in full cycling gear, complete with a helmet with green reflective stripes. that was his way of celebrating the brat summer.

barista (friend or nemesis depending how much they can tolerate alex): a local barista and fellow coffee enthusiast who shares his love for a perfect cup of coffee. orrr simply hating him because he always finds some fault in his coffee.

bowling team / squad: he also recently joined a bowling team. i'd love to discuss the team name and its details, so feel free to hmuuuuu

[gotta-pet-em-all]

[Audio begins. There are a few moments of silence, before Fluff says, “Am I interrupting something?”

“No, not really. Oh, are those pokepuffs?”

“Mm. I figured I’d bring some over for you, here.”

“What, ‘cause you’re afraid you’ll get rejected if you don’t bring food to people?” Rei asks wryly. 

“….do you want them or not. Also, fuck off, having social anxiety sucks.” Fluff definitely doesn’t sound happy about being read for filth like that. 

“Ah, sorry. My social skills have, uh. Declined.” Rei doesn’t sound especially sorry. “You’re here to ask me about Hisui, right? Are you the short blonde’s lab partner?”

“Something like that.” She doesn’t elaborate. “More about the people who came with you from Hisui.”

“Well, the other guy took a train home. I don’t know a lot about the Miss Fortune sisters; they’re a sort of found family. They… despite being from Hisui, they weren’t as suited for it as me.”

“You enjoyed being in Hisui? Why?”

“It was thrilling,” Rei says quietly. “I had a divine patron who wanted me to do research. They’d been… well, Giratina’s banishment meant Arceus was separated from the world for a long time as well. And they wanted to understand how the land was faring. So I surveyed for them. We learned about Hisui together. I never got hurt too bad; if I lost enough blood to get worried, there would be this golden light and I’d wake up in the infirmary.”

“You weren’t worried about going home?”

“I’m seventeen, you know,” Rei says wryly. “Without going into too much detail, I had a mental health scare as a kid. Bipolar, and bad. It took a while for my parents to let me go on my journey, and when I did, I felt… alienated, like the world was too small. But Hisui? It was amazing. It was a dream. I wanted to stay and help these people. Until I didn’t.”

“So, about Volo… you guys don’t get along?”

“That’s personal,” Rei says bluntly.

Fluff gives a small cough. “They broke out of quarantine rather than stay with you.”

“...we have history.”

There is a brief mental calculation of ages and likelihood of romance. “So, you guys weren’t— or, rather, you didn’t have any—”

“There was absolutely no situationship or unrequited romantic feelings going on.” Rei sighs. “Frankly, I… don’t know how to explain it. But they’ve been nothing but polite and accommodating here, so I don’t think it’s right for me to go spreading rumors that don’t matter anymore. Why do you want to know so bad, anyways?”

“I visited them, and just…” Her voice sounds a little choked up. “I was uh. Quite literally raised under a rock. Like, very deficient in vitamin D. So I had a lot of trouble adjusting to the real world. I guess I can relate?”

“Wait, what.”

“What part needs clarification here.”

“The— raised under a rock???”

“Underground cult, but I try not to tell people that when I’ve first met them because I’m trying to break the traumadumping habit, actually.” She sniffles. “Fuck, I’m going to have to wash my hoodie. Point is. Uh. Ah, where was I even going with this. Is it really that weird that I want to help? I want to believe the best in them.”

“The Miss Fortunes frequently tried to mug me, you know.”

“Yeah, you’re not special,” she mutters under her breath. Then, louder, “Sometimes people trapped in a bad place do fucked up shit to survive. Don’t they deserve redemption too?”

“Maybe. I just don’t have any interest in it. I’m not going to stop you, but I’m not going to help. I’ve done my part, and frankly, I’m a little sick of getting betrayed.” His voice is tight. “Volo likes places with history and places with shade and running water. Check the ruins and the little meadow north of the gnarled oak tree. And don’t ask me about them again. However much of their friendship was real, it’s over now. All of it.”

Recording ends.]

[danddymaro]

Blind | Bloodhound x (fem) Reader

Not love at first sight, but something close

it takes a single moment for you to be struck by the love bug

Dude, I LIVE for simp/  Bloodhound whether they are a sick Yandere or a sweet, devout partner. I’m trash

Word count: 1123

It took a moment, just a single instance for it to happen.

For Bloodhound, it was as though time had suddenly slowed down, the world giving them a moment to appreciate the wink of time just a bit longer so they could truly cherish it to its fullest glory.

The bullets that had zipped past them traveled at such an agonizingly slow pace, that they felt brazen enough to pick at them from the air and toy with them during their travel.

It was complete lunacy, yet, the Legend felt exhilarated at such a sensation, such a heated rush that felt like a wild surge of electricity had fallen upon them, in a thunderbolt. shockwaves danced over their flesh in little tingles that needed the touch of this very delightful new affection.

Urgency filled them, the newfound desire almost unbearable.

You, who had, until then been someone unknown to them, though pleasant enough to be acquainted with, looked rather lovely.

'No...' they then thought, not going further with the thought without correction, 

You looked beautiful, marvelous, too good for words. 

- Too perfect to not admire.

'- A gift from the gods,' 

Rarely had they ever thought of anyone so divine, and you were one of the only few who had made them think so.

Your pretty lips were bruised at the side, a partial split decorating them from where you'd been hit earlier. You wore it so carelessly, almost unbothered by it after the initial long press of your thumb to it confirming there was a lesion. 

You'd both initially landed hot, narrowly escaping the battle with evasive moves that kept you both out of the line of fire that came from competitors fortunate enough to get their hands on a weapon.

And while you'd left with little to nothing in your hands, the fight for survival had been fierce given your lack of gear.

Guided by their Raven’s claw, they pathed way for an escape, a chance to come closer to victory.

Your hair was in various tangles from the travel down, something you'd muttered about to yourself as you'd descended, and it had been something Bloodhound sighed tiredly at. 

"What?" you said with a raised brow, offering your partner a cheeky grin. 

"You should worry about the battle more than your appearance," they suggested, making you huff out in dismissiveness as you pressed your thumb to your lower lip, the blood that dotted the flesh making you squint hard in annoyance.

"Of course, you would say that," you added quietly before looking away. 

You were fairly new and were taking advice from another Legend, one you’d easily befriended . 

Mirage had given you little pointers, advising you that good Media was also a part of the gig. 

-You had to either look good or look cool.

Besides, after you'd read a couple of the fan's reblogs of you... you decided that perhaps a bit of self-care was needed.

'Being in the public eye sucks...' you thought dishearted.

Bloodhound’s retort was a soft, dismissive hum, though they inwardly questioned why you would be concerned when you presented yourself just fine.

You now found yourself in an anxious flee, weaving through an open space of tall vegetation.

"Come on..." you breathed, hoping your partner pulled through.

It had been a rather risky, yet creative plan you offered to them after looking down at your only gun between the two of you.  Though, it was thoroughly thought out as you planned to follow a specific route, calculating every move no matter how fretful and uncoordinated they might have seen to the offending party. 

- That was, of course, the plan.

You had only one weapon, a long-ranged weapon with no optics, and much more out of your favor, 6 shots.

"Looks like we got a pretty shitty drop," you said with a low huff, passing the other Legend the sniper with no reluctance, without a question of any sort.

"It is yours," Bloodhound said in response to the offer, quickly skimming their eyes from the offer, and instead searching the trail they'd followed for signs of another competitor lurking.

Because the last thing they needed was to get ambushed.

"I think it would be of better use in your hands," you said kindly, being humble enough to admit that their aim was certainly better.

Afterall, their sight definitely was.

This was a sport to you, to them hunting others had been their life far before the games.

"We don't have much to work with," you started, "But luckily people are still landing, so we might have a good chance of an ambush," you offered with a devious, little chuckle.

"We just have to play it smart," you murmured, mentally preparing yourself because if you screwed up in any way, you were toast.

Meanwhile, Bloodhound had trouble deciphering whether or not the chance you took was admirable, or simply an act of recklessness on your part.

It only made sense to them as to why you got along with the speed demon so much, why you jumped at being paired with each other because perhaps Octane was one of the only other people willing to dive headfirst into disaster and walk out grinning whatever the outcome was.

Win or lose, it was just fun to complete, that was his philosophy, and something you often claimed too.

Momentarily, you smiled at them, an excited grin shot the hunter's way as you craned your head back and got a good peep at your partner from where they'd been posted.

"You're amazing," you beamed back at them, your voice reaching them thanks to the coms.  The excitedness and awe you conveyed through those two words had Bloodhound somewhat dumbfounded enough that a simple thank you that felt the custom was released with mild difficulty.

It was strange, but you were greeted with silence, though you didn't seem too troubled by it.

Meanwhile, Their keen eyesight had been witness to a smile that left them stunned, struck by something that left their chest feeling wounded.

From that very moment you ...

You, who had really been nothing but a good, occasional companion had become the center where their life gravitates to, the very essence of allure in every sense, even in your most distasteful moments.

You dug through your new loot, happy as could be while you relayed your finds through the coms as they made an approach towards you.

By then, Bloodhound sees you for what you truly are; a gift from the gods. 

You are their destiny, their intended life companion.

Unknowingly you grin at them, and they cherish the expression, reflecting on how you'd always been beautiful. 

How could they have been so blind before?

[wlwanakin]

You asked for Grelle asks, so I have some!

1. Do you think she regrets killing Ann?

2. What does she think of her job? Does she see it as a means to redemption? Or does she feel trapped and not care, since she’s broken so many rules?

3. What do you think her human life was like? Family dynamics?

BLESS U i love these questions

1. she 1000% regrets killing her and you cannot convince me otherwise. it’s like pulling teeth to get her to admit it but it was such an impulse move that she definitely did not think out and the severity of the literal murder she committed doesn’t hit until after the fact. grell and anne were definitely like…insanely codependent and there’s no way their relationship wasn’t tumultuous and i’ve always hced that grell regularly tries to test the limits by sabotaging the relationship when she’s pissed except OOPS this time she can’t take it back. and she pretends it doesn’t haunt her but it very much does and she misses her so bad and wants to jump off a cliff about it.

2. she deserted the second she saw a hot girl covered in blood to go kill people so she’s definitely not that worried about her immortal soul. i think bc of the fact that she’s trans in the 1800s (a definitively unfun combination) she probably already had brainworms drilled into her head about her existence being sinful or whatever (i’m just assuming she was raised christian cuz like. probably) so when she bites it and is presented with a variation on purgatory and the eventual promise of something vaguely heavenlike she’s just like “hm are we sure about that” which is probably part of her willingness to say fuck it and commit atrocities. there’s also the existential terror of it all cuz like killing yourself and then being immortal is a Bad Predicament and worse when u add the trans layer and that probably contributed to her general attitude and probably made her not very fond of the divine powers that be. so i feel like her mindset is kinda just “idk if i wanna go to heaven this god guy kinda sucks.” so yeah she just sucks up work to pay her divine rent and also cuz the immortality thing makes her able to express herself but the actual redemptive point of reapering is not something that she cares about that much and she kinda thinks she might be a lost cause at this point. it’s just a job to her.

3. *cracks knuckles* oh i could talk about this FOREVERRRR my backstory for her is so fucking detailed for no reason. but yeah her human life SUCKED! it sucked real bad. she was a sad little pushover with an abusive dad and a mom who Did Not Want Her and she lived with them until she died. she was a Problem Child and she kinda just retreated into herself the older she got bc she was trying to not get abused about it. she has def always been deeply unstable and that was noticeable to the people around her (including her parents who Did Not Like That and were generally ashamed of her) and bc of that she was a very lonely person.

her dad was a bookbinder (according to my notes app. i think i looked up like middle class jobs 1810s or something but if that’s inaccurate just replace it with like a standard middle class job. point is her family was normal and boring financially). her mom was significantly younger than her dad and did not want to be married to him but was essentially baby trapped and grell faced the brunt of that resentment. very bad household to exist in general but especially when u are a deeply mentally ill queer child. they were also religious which is just another fun layer bc i like projecting my horrible experiences onto my blorbos. but yeah grell grew up in that hellish house and never got out. she wanted to pursue acting but it never went anywhere. she had a brief on and off fling with a guy in her early 20s but she was uncomfortable for gender reasons she could not verbalize so she basically sabotaged the shit out of it. she stuck it out until she was 27 but after years of literally nothing good or interesting happening ever and her just constantly feeling miserable and like peeling off her own skin she reached a breaking point and boom now she is immortal. would go into more detail but i’m too lazy to do the historical research rn lmao

[wjbs-aus]

hello, I know absolutely nothing about Ultrakill besides gun, flesh and

COIN

Please enlighten me. Do not hold back. I want to hear every excruciating detail, from lore to gameplay.

and if you want to know *exactly* how much I know, all the media of ultrakill I have consumed is random pictures of the sentient security camera and Gohrdahn’s video on SPARECHANGE%. also asking people who have no idea what’s going on about what’s going on is funny, so so far all I’ve picked up is that you’re a robot angel thing from hell and you fighting your way to heaven. Machines killed everyone and I wonder if the protagonist finds the metal areas more disturbing than the fleshy areas; after all, they’re seeing what is basically their insides, no?

No offense, but wow is that summary incorrect! Let's rectify that!

I'll only be covering the lore because, even though I've finished the game (so far), I don't fully understand the mechanics.

Be warned that some information may be incorrect since my memory sucks, and it also may become outdated in the future, as the game is still in development.

Also, I really recommend just playing the game. It's very good so far!

Anyway,

The ULTRALORE

Long ago, humanity had a Big War™ and built robots powered by blood. Remember that last point, it will be important later. One of these robots is our protagonist, V1; a blue robot with large, glowing wings that it uses to store its weapons, Hammerspace-style.

Eventually, the war ended, but humanity still used the robots for stuff like security. They also discovered Hell, which coincidentally happened to be structured identically to Dante Alighieri's interpretation, as seen in the Divine Comedy (Limbo -> Lust -> Gluttony -> Greed -> Wrath -> Heresy -> Violence -> Fraud -> Treachery).

An indeterminate amount of time before this, Minos, king of the layer of Lust, tried to improve the living conditions of his people, believing it to be wrong that they were being judged for the "crime" of love. He was killed by the archangel Gabriel (yes, that one) and had his soul imprisoned within the Flesh Prison, a half-demon half-angel living cage, forced to watch his gigantic corpse destroy his own realm. At another point in time (though I am not sure when it happened in relation to the last one), King Sisyphus (yes, that one) tried to rebel against Heaven, and was killed; unlike Minos, whose body lived on as a gigantic Husk, Sisyphus was beheaded and crucified within a secret chamber inside a pyramid in the Greed layer, while his soul was imprisoned within the Flesh Panopticon.

Back to the present, V1 got a younger, more-advanced sibling named V2, designed for security purposes and equipped with an explosive punch. Meanwhile, the people exploring Hell discovered that the entire realm is alive.

And then all of humanity died of probably robot-related causes.

So naturally, the robots made a beeline for Hell; after all,

MANKIND IS DEAD. BLOOD IS FUEL. HELL IS FULL. BABA IS YOU

One of these robots is V1. It entered Hell through some kinda funky mechanical entrance thing, where it encountered other Machines, as well as Husks (the embodiments of human souls) and Demons (statues filled with Magic Meat™ that animates them and gives them powers), collecting blood as it went. Eventually, V1 reached the gates of Hell (which, much like in the Divine Comedy, have the phrase "Abandon hope all ye who enter here" written across them), defeated the Cerberi (a pair of Demons resembling simplified versions of the Thinker), and entered Limbo.

The ULTRAKILL version of Limbo is interesting, though fairly basic compared to the later layers; the "sky" is made of screens, ambient nature-sounds come from poorly-hidden speakers, and there are folly-like "ruins" everywhere. V1 continues its journey, fighting the Hideous Mass (a large Demon resembling a scorpion or maybe lobster with the Creation Of Adam carved onto the tops of its claws, along with a harpoon-tail, and lots of exposed demonic flesh leaking out from large gaps in its armour) on the way. Eventually, it reaches a serene church, where it encounters V2. After a long battle, V2 escapes, dropping its left arm; V1 takes it and leaves, entering Lust.

Lust is a gigantic Cyberpunk cityscape, with Minos's gigantic Husk towering in the distance.

It's one of the most beautiful areas in the entire game.

As V1 travels through the layer, it gets closer to Minos, until the dead king himself attacks V1; it kills him, and a gateway to Gluttony appears in his throat.

At time of writing, Gluttony is the most conceptually-obvious layer, being a big organic thing with wobbly meat-walls, giant searchlight-eyes, spine-bridges and lakes of stomach acid. Shortly after arriving, V1 is contacted by a mildly-peeved Gabriel, telling it to "turn back now", as "the walls of this palace are not for your kind". Naturally, lacking any sense of self-preservation, nor any percievable emotion, V1 proceeds to battle Gabriel in front of a gigantic beating heart. Gabriel loses, swears his revenge, and proceeds to have a tantrum and call V1 an "insignificant fuck", then teleports away in a blinding flash of light. V1 drops down the hole in the bottom of the arena...

Disgrace. Humiliation. Unseemly and unwelcome at the feet of The Council. Their eyes ablaze with bitter resentment, glaring through Gabriel's wounds of body and soul, bore outward for all to see. "Has this one abandoned the way of our creator?" "It is unworthy of its Holy Light." "The Father's Light is indomitable." "This one sees fit to squander it." Their words resonated in Gabriel's limbs, coursing through as lightning upon wire, a searing hiss that would strike lessers deaf and blind. The Holy Light within him, an unstoppable force of divine fury. Insurmountable for mere Objects. This he knew. "Holy Council, my devotion to our creator is absolute. I have never strayed from the will of The Father, but a machine-" "You dare imply the might of The Father could be shaken by mere objects?" "Impossible." "Heresy." "Unspeakable." "Heresy." "Heresy." "Silence." "Your treachery will not be tolerated. As punishment, The Father's Light shall be severed from your body. You have 24 hours before the last of its embers die out." "And you with them." "Prove your loyalty." "Unmake your mistakes." As the Light was ripped from his being, Gabriel's screams were silenced in the hiss of gospel in praise of God. A boiling anguish to which even the fires of Hell could not compare. Through the blaze of torment a single burning hatred was forged anew. If the machines seek blood, he would give it freely; and with such fury, even metal will bleed.

... before landing in Greed, a vast desert with literal golden sand, with recreations of various famous landmarks. V1 fights a Sisyphean Insurrectionist, and later re-encounters V2, who has a new hookshot arm, but manages to beat the newer robot; the two end up in a high-speed chase down the side of a pyramid, but eventually V1 manages to get V2 to fall, with it landing hard on a nearby bridge, turning into a large, red stain.

V2 is canonically dead.

V1 grabs its arm, and leaves for Wrath.

Once upon a time, Wrath was the River Styx (yes, that one), before it suddenly turned into vast ocean. The souls of the damned literally fight for air, while those who lose hope fall to the bottom and [REDACTED FOR SPOILER REASONS].

V1 fights through a flooded underground complex, before ending up outside on a stormy night; they fight through many enemies, and manage to summon a gigantic cruise ship captained by a skeletal Ferryman, leading to ULTRAKILL's only moral choice at time of writing; using the revolver's Marksman mode, it is possible to throw a coin to the Ferryman. Alternatively, V1 battles the Ferryman (who is a gigantic Gabriel fanboy that carves demons into enemy-protecting Idols). Either way, this opens the path to inside the boat, which is attacked by a vast sea-monster; after escaping the now-capsized boat, V1 fights the Leviathan (a gigantic demon whose flesh was made from the Husks who gave up and sank to the bottom of the Ocean Styx; its heart, which sticks out of its head, has multiple angelic spears impaled into it, and constantly screams). V1 defeats the Leviathan, which explodes into a shower of blood, and the ocean splits open to reveal the entrance to Heresy.

Heresy is the most "hellish" layer yet; it's bright red, there's fire everywhere, and a lot of the buildings have goat-skulls on the walls. Gabriel, more furious after having his divine link severed, awaits V1. He goes off on one at it for killing everything in Hell, then tries to kill it again.

He loses, but this time, he's more graceful. Gabriel leaves to think, and his giant pipe-organ opens, revealing the entrance to Violence. That is where the story ends for now.

Silence. Introspection. How many had he killed? Had he ever thought to count? How much cruelty did he embody... and to what end? How many did he condemn to hell and who did it benefit..? Two defeats at the hands of the machine had changed Gabriel. The world of the one supposed Will of God was now shattered and only he was left to put the pieces back together. They collected before the light of a dying fire that fresh fuel couldn't sustain, this new light showing the truth to Gabriel: The pieces never fit together to begin with. The supposed Council of "the people" who boasted a God that wasn't there. Gone. Vanished. The Council still chased after the light of God's fire, their memory of its words and will grown twisted and warped, and the rest of the aimless masses of Heaven follow their footsteps. The angels still act in The Father's name but His kingdom has changed. Now the fire was dying, sputtering out as the heat failed to gain purchase. Gabriel looked upon the embers with a perfect clarity. He drew his blade and held it in contrast to the dying light. In its reflection he saw a weapon reborn, no longer wielded by the will of another, but his own. He knew words alone would never sway the masses. He chose to do something drastic. Death stains the auditorium. The littered corpses of the once mighty council now strewn against its surfaces, their last gasps of life dripping down the dissident blade of Gabriel's sword. The last councilor, now backed up to a wall, scrambles for words between panicked breaths as death approaches with measured steps. "W-wait! Y-you can't do this! Out status forbids it! This is treason, heresy, murder! We are the supreme authority, our law commands you! "You command nothing. Your words hold no power over me, or anyone else. Lest you truly believe you can talk my blade back into its sheath." "B-but the people are on our side! The citizens of Heaven know that we are just!" "The masses only follow you out of fear and desperation. I will show them there is nothing to be afraid of, for there is not species nor origin, vested rank or holy status that will stop the sharp edge of a sword. We all bleed the same blood, and the cushions of your thrones have made you weak and impotent." "P-please, Gabriel, see reason! The council follows the will of The Father! You seek to go against our creato-" "Face it, brother. God is Dead. The fire is gone. You're chasing phantoms." Gabriel's silhouette now towers over the councilor, his shadow cast upon a soon lifeless corpse. He raises his sword for the final cut as the crying mess on the floor stammers out its final feeble argument. "B-b-but the Father's light! Without me you cannot hope to reconnect with it! I-i-if you kill me, you'll be dead in a matter of hours!" ... "I know." A clean, silent cut glides through the councilor's neck, severing his spine with elegance and ease. His head falls onto the marble floor, the rest of his body following soon after. Bereft of status but brimming with purpose, Gabriel gave a final message to the angels amassed at the gates of the auditorium before leaving Heaven for the very last time. His arm outstretched, without a word, the people saw. In the silence the message rang out to the far ends of the cosmos.

The terminals encountered in Prime Sanctums and other secret levels reveal a bit more; most importantly that A. the terminals get bored, explaining the infinite Cyber Grind mode, and B. God regrets condemning Lucifer to Hell.

There's more, but honestly, play the game. It's really good.

that moment when you realise that Gorillaz lore is probably easier to explain than ULTRAKILL