#but you HAVE to admit that lately everything seems to be abt him

[u5an5]

If what I’m going to say sounds familiar, it's probably because it's heavily inspired by this post and comments under, but

Guys. We really have to start to put more weight to names of things. Specifically USDTP.

United States Department of Temporal Phenomena. Temporal means ”relating to time” (it is also said to be “relating to worldly as opposed to spiritual affairs; secular.”, but not the topic rn). It implies that there's enough time fuckery happening to have it's own Department in the US government.

And you may say "It doesn't make sense, there's not any-" And I say

Wrong!!!

We actually get to see it a lot, with the most prominent example being Adam's age. (Ofc it's him, lately everything is abt him. Mandela #1 Special Boy himself)

Like, he’s said to be kidnapped as an infant. And it supposedly happened in 1992 (which is also coincidentally the year of divorce his parents took. Also, Mark killed himself this year. Exactly 17 days after their divorce to be precise).

But he's said to be born in 1988, which makes him 4 at the date of kidnapping (infancy is the first month after birth, but child can be called an infant up to second year). But in 2007 he's said to be still learning at high school (being 19), when Sarah, that's stated to be born a year after him, already graduated at the time.

Also Sarah.

Sarah whose birth date is said to be 1987. When in Exhibition we see a photo of her taken in 1982 (and she already looked at least a few years old). And BPS interviews from the MPD page happen somewhere in 2004. Which means it had to exist before that.

But how could it be created then if Sarah and Adam never met before 2007?

(In the interview with Wendigoon, Alex said that page “won’t have any more significance than what it already shown”, which I’m going to interpret as “anything that was on this page is canon, but there won’t be any new stuff related to it”. Plus he mentioned that ppl didn’t catch on all the stuff that was here, so).

And interviews (Interrogation?) with BPS members being here imply that they’ve been already caught (at least once if they somehow managed to escape/were released for some reason). In her interview on this page she said that Mark would be 30 this day (his exact date of birth is supposed to be July 24, 1974). Evelin’s interview from that page appears in Adams “In memorial” video for Jonah, which would suggest that an alternate that tampers with this video got it from this page.

A page that stopped being supported in January 2004.

(There is an annotation saying that “page not being supported since 2004” is false, but not about page being here since before 2004)

And the most obvious one and the one that most people seem to just ignore for some reason, even when they see it.

Supposedly, Vol.2 takes place during Winter Break of 2009. This year it falls between December 24th, 2009 and January 4th, 2010 (”How do you know it?”, you may ask. And I’ll answer you “From here*”). But in Vol.4, in a video made by Adam, Jonah’s date of death is stated to be January 13th, 2009 (and considering that Sarah didn’t say anything about that, we can assume that they both were convinced that it happened on this day of this month).

But literally moments later, in the same video, we see that user “XXxNOAHxXx” on December 13th of unknown year invited Adam to play Left 4 Dead 2 with them.

A game that came out in November 2009. 

I refuse to believe it’s all just a coincidence.

[tsxkkis]

# tsukishima kei - no words exchanged

a/n = i had two bigger tests today and i studied for both of them a lot BUT i think i did well?? let's hope so cuz i'll die if i end up failing them fr... ALSO idk abt this one cuz i didn't have much time to write lately (which resulted in me being dissatisfied with everything i write) but i hope you like it anyways ^^

summary = a school project finally bonds you with the tall blonde from your friend group.

warnings = none tbh, except for kinda ooc tsukki?

if someone had no bigger knowledge of tsukishima kei as a person, they would immediately assume he was greatly annoyed by your presence.

your rambling seemed to not have an end, the excitement in your voice and sparkly eyes clearly indicating just how into the conversation you really were. tsukishima glanced over to your side for a spare second, the sight of you happily explaining something to hinata and yamaguchi in a high-pitched voice gracing his eyes, taking in every bit of emotion in your face, every word you said.

ever since you became karasuno's manager along with yachi, tsukishima has been stuck with that weird feeling inside his gut, one that he so desperately tried to get rid of from the very moment he made notice of it. he couldn't afford himself to waste time on such stupid things as love; or maybe, more precisely, he didn't want to admit to himself he was actually feeling that way towards someone.

on the contrary, you actively thought that tsukishima kei hated you.

for you, the quick glances he stole your way were nothing but an indicator of being annoyed by the amount of words that left your mouth, and it didn't help you were the only person he never directed his snarky comments to. in fact, he didn't even speak to you, almost at all; aside from an occasional small talk with him and yamaguchi or greeting you at school.

out of your entire friend group, it was always the most awkward between you two, a surprising fact when you considered that even someone such as kageyama talked with tsukishima more in his life than you have. and if you were being completely honest, it made you a tad bit sad.

and if things couldn't get worse than they already were, a project for chemistry class with random partners hit you like a smack to the face.

"it's a good thing, though, don't you think so, yamaguchi?" yachi's voice echoed from beside you, the dark-haired boy giving her a nod and a little hum in response. "maybe the two of you will finally bond a little."

"yeah, if we even exchange a word." you murmured, feet carrying you to your locker as you took out the books you needed for your next class.

you couldn't deny that maybe yachi was right. maybe it was the chance you needed to finally break the ice of awkwardness between you two, to finally act like actual friends.

as you parted your ways with yachi, the blonde girl going to her class, your eyes caught a glimpse of a different blonde, much taller, walking out of the bathroom and towards you and yamaguchi.

"[name]."

you almost flinched at the sound of your name from his mouth, and yet something in the way he said it sounded so warm and familiar. your eyes met his as you fully turned your body around towards the boy, head turned slightly upward as you waited for him to continue speaking.

"we should probably meet after school sometime this week to do the project."

you fiddled with your fingers as you stood in tsukishima's doorway, an unsure look on your face as you tried your best not to overthink the situation too much. it couldn't go wrong, right? it's just a project for school. maybe you and him will actually get along.

as you caught a glimpse of tsukishima's frame on the other side of the door, a small smile appeared on your face, the boy waiting for you to take off your shoes before motioning for you to follow him, heading inside his room.

not a word exchanged.

his room was none other than what you expected it to be; everything was neat and organized, and it looked almost untouched. as you sat down on the edge of the bed, eyes still roaming through the unfamiliar place you were in, a small detail occurred to you.

"you have a collection of dinosaur figurines?"

tsukishima tried to hide his embarrassment, but it was evident the second you noticed how the tips of his ears turned red when hearing your question.

"so what?" he cleared his throat, voice as nonchalant as possible as he opened his laptop, sitting down at his desk.

"nothing." you mumbled, eyes following his movements. "i think it's sweet."

he only hummed in response, fingers swiftly moving across the keyboard as he typed in something into the internet, silence taking over the room; so thick you doubt you would've been able to cut it with a perfectly sharpened knife.

ten minutes passed, and tsukishima still didn't seem even remotely interested in starting a conversation with you, a fact that both annoyed and worried you. ignoring the "bonding experience" yachi mentioned it could be for you two, you also had a school project to do.

and that project wasn't even touched yet.

"you know, if you didn't want to work with me, you could've always switched partners."

tsukishima, although taken aback by your question, gave you only a slight shrug in response, seated with his back facing you.

"i wanted to work with you." his words confused you, eyes glued to the back of his purple t-shirt as you tried to process what he could possibly mean by that.

"you hate me, though." you mumbled, barely loud enough for the blonde haired boy to hear you. this time, he did turn around to face you; and as much as you tried, you couldn't exactly understand the emotions behind the expression he had. he looked like he didn't believe what he just heard and, to some extent, that was the truth.

his eyes were fixated on your face, a rare occurrence considering that most of the time the two of you wouldn't even share eye contact.

"i don't."

"you don't really do anything to prove that."

he sighed, hand instinctively going to brush through his hair.

"i'm not used to having friends." his words echoed through the room. "let alone friends like you."

you didn't quite understand what he meant, looking at him with a confused look painted on your face.

"you're loud, and annoying, and you talk so much it makes me wanna throw myself out the window." his words hit you like a knife through your heart. the remains of a faint smile immediately dissapearing from your face. but from what it looked like, he wasn't close to being done talking.

"and yet i can't seem to hate you at all. you make all those traits seem like the most loveable things on the planet."

he stopped for a couple of seconds, as if trying to decide what to say next. tsukishima wasn't used to talking a lot, and talking to you greatly stressed him, as much as he wanted to deny it.

"i don't hate you, [name]. don't make me repeat myself again." he finally added, trying to come back to his usual, cold demeanor. but you could still feel the bits of softness left in his voice, the faintest shade of pink gracing his cheeks.

you smiled, seeing as he turned back to his laptop, typing away again.

"i won't, don't worry." you said, standing up to look at whatever tsukishima was writing down, a grin on your face. "but i am telling kageyama about your dinosaur figurine collection."

he turned to you abruptly, a sight of annoyance mixed with an amused smile on his face, almost as if he enjoyed the playful comment from you.

"don't you even dare."

taglist: @ox1-lovesick @moonswolfie @wyrcan

[elliereject]

ifhy .1

* in which ellie’s obsession relationship with you begins to sour as your romance with your new boyfriend seems to flourish. it seems she’ll stop at nothing to ensure your happiness, (which you’ll find with her, obviously) even if it means hurting you in the process.

* lowkey obsessive ellie, (I LIKE EM’ A LITTLE CRAZY!), angst + comfort (next chapter(s), infidelity, unrequited feelings yet also mutual pining (just read it like, idk idk I forgot how to do these),lmk if I missed anything!

* im back, ok not really this has been rotting in my drafts forever and I was reading it back and I was like damn I lowk cooked with this. It’s unfinished as of RN but this is only 1/3 of the fic im just splitting it up so u don’t have to wait months,,for it..like my other fics..DONT ASK ME ABT THOSE, cuz I don’t got an answer. IN THE MEAN TIME ENJOY THIS! <3

* mdni (but like if u do wtvr, nothing crazy happens in this chapter)

wc ~ 1.6k

pt. 2 here

Ellie Williams fucking hated you.

Surprisingly, she didn’t at first. In fact, she was in love with you, bordering infatuation.

She had seen you for the first time at the local bookstore before the semester started, you were flipping through a book about time and relativity with a concentrated look on your face. She smiled to herself when she saw you push up onto your toes to reach for another book but to no avail. She took this as an opportunity to walk up to you and reach over your head to grab it, making sure to flex her lean, tattooed arm before placing it in your hand.

Her jade eyes locked on yours and your face heated immediately, you mumbled a “Thank you.” Before scurrying past her to the checkout.

Imagine her surprise when on the first day of classes, she walks into her astrophysics course and sees you, doodling in your notebook with that same concentrated look on your face.

Of course, she sits next to you, flashing that charming smile that has sweat gathering at your hands. She tells you her name then asks for yours and learns about your major, favourite course, and how you’re staying in a little apartment just outside the campus before more students and your professor filed in. You didn’t know why but you just felt so comfortable telling her things, She laughed at your corny jokes and made even cornier ones, and she admired the doodles that covered your notebook and the little duck pen you used.

You didn’t want to speak too soon, but it was safe to say you were harbouring a tiny bit of a crush on her.

Ellie on the other hand, was completely ready to admit it. She felt her love for you grow each second she was around you. Your smile quite literally felt like the sun shining upon her, your laugh made her want to drop her studies of space to pick up stand-up comedy just so she could make it her job to make you laugh. In her eyes, everything you did was perfect. Her thoughts were completely consumed by you, you, you.

And for a few months, things were amazing! You had been introduced to Dina and Jesse and even spent Halloween hanging out with the trio watching horror movies and eating each other's weight in candy. When the holidays rolled around you and Ellie, along with the others, cozied up under some blankets and made fun of cheesy Hallmark movies while she tried her hardest not to interlock her hands with yours even after your pinky brushed against hers for the sixth time.

During finals, Ellie and you organized designated study days that usually ended in giggling at stupid memes on each other's phones or late-night food runs. Of course, there were lingering touches and flirtatious glances here and there but you were too shy to act on it and Ellie would rather die than make you uncomfortable so she kept you just at arm's length. Besides, she knew you were too timid to approach anyone else, so in a way she had you all to herself.

Then, you met him. Some motherfucker whose name she didn’t care to remember. However, she did remember the innate feeling of anger that surged through her body when you gushed to her about him and how he was a history major and the way his glasses framed his face perfectly and whatever the fuck else you found interesting about him.

She nodded and laughed and smiled along with you when you would drone on about him but would excuse herself to the bathroom to tend to the crescent-shaped wounds in her palms from digging her fingers into them so hard.

She tried her best to not show these negative emotions to you because she knew how much you didn’t like when she got mad but fuck was it hard. Especially that one night when you were out with him and you hadn’t replied to her texts in over 5 hours. Man did her drywall take some damage that night.

And when you finally did reply you had completely disregarded her message and went on to boast about the time you had and how gentlemanly he was. All she could do was reply with a dry “sounds like fun🙂” before she went back to throwing a tantrum around her room and tormenting that poor wall…she’d have to remember to buy some spackle before the end of the semester.

Then, there was the time she trekked over to your apartment with some pizza for a surprise movie night and saw the bouquet placed in front of your door. She set the box down to pick up the flowers and read who it was from, her body reacted before she could rethink. She tore the flowers from the beautifully wrapped packaging and stomped on them over and over and over until all that was left were broken stems and tattered petals.

Thankfully, you got home just a few minutes later and missed her outburst. You gasped when you saw the smashed flowers and asked her what had happened, she shrugged and lied easily, claiming it was like this when she got there. She let out a breath when you shook your head and sighed, saying it was probably your next-door neighbor who had always been a bit of a grouch.

She had genuinely thought she was doing a pretty good job of hiding her true feelings for both you and him but it was when you gleefully announced that he was officially your boyfriend she knew she was done for. You squealed and pulled her in for a hug but it felt like her heart had shriveled up into a clump of black coal and woosh like magic, her love for you had turned into something twisted, something possessive.

It was when you invited her over to your apartment to eat dinner with him that she had started considering the idea that you knew she had a crush on you and you were just fucking with her emotions for fun.

How could you start dating, let alone seeing some random ass motherfucker when she was right here! She knew she could treat you better than he could even dream of, she knew everything about you and she’d make it known to you how perfect she was for you, one way or another.

That night at dinner she sat uncomfortably as you fluttered around your tiny kitchen, adding last-minute touches to the spaghetti you made and despite the grumble in her tummy it felt like she had no appetite when she watched the hungry way he looked at you, as if you were a juicy steak and he was a starved wolf.

Once you were finished plating the food and placing it on the table you sat down eagerly and tried your best to mediate the obvious tension.

“Soo uh, Ellie, you’ve been really into watercolour recently right?” You beamed.

“Uh-huh.” She said dryly, twirling her spaghetti around her fork.

“Oh that’s cool, you know watercolour as an art form has been around since Egyptian times! It’s funny to think that like—Cleopatra was painting with water and grapes or something!” He spoke and you giggled like it was the funniest joke in the world. She shot you a look that said really? because she knows she could make a joke that was way funnier, and would expel your real laugh.

“That’s cool. You know how to shut the fuck up?” She mumbled into her bite of spaghetti.

“Sorry?” He asked and you gave her a sideways glance.

She smiled tightly and swallowed before answering, “Just said that’s cool!”

Dinner dragged on as he droned about the history of the Renaissance or fucking Christopher Columbus, she didn’t actually know, she tuned him out. After you cleared the plates, you ushered them into your cozy living room for a movie and when you excused yourself to the bathroom she plopped down on the couch next to him, subtly pulling out her switchblade.

“So, Kevin—“

“Actually my name—“

“I don’t give a fuck what your name is, matter fact I don’t give a fuck about you in general. What are your intentions with ★?”

The man tensed up as Ellie expertly spun the blade around in her fingers.

“Uh—I mean, she seems cool and dating her has been pr—“

“Cool?” Ellie scoffed, “She’s fucking perfect, and I hope you know whatever you have going on with her right now? It won’t last. Soon she’s gonna see you for the limp-ass motherfucker you are.”

He was taken aback, “What?—I’m sorry, did I do something to offend you?”

“Your whole existence offends me.” She rasped, inching her blade closer to his neck. “She’s not meant to be with you.”

He furrowed his brows, “You like her, don’t you?”

Ellie rolled her eyes, “You don’t know what the hell you’re talking about.”

Before he could reply you were back from the bathroom and she slipped her blade back into her pocket and got up with a firm grip on his shoulder.

“What were you two talking about?” You asked as you grabbed a bag of chips from your small coffee table and tore into them.

“Oh you know, girl talk.” She smiled, digging her blunt nails into his shoulder. Translation: don’t say a fucking word.

You rolled your eyes playfully like you even had a clue of what was going on, “He’s not a girl, dumbass.”

She shrugged, stepping away from her previous seat to plop down on the other small sofa.

The rest of the night proceeded relatively smoothly, your boyfriend had been so shaken up by Ellie’s words that even with you sitting next to him he kept his distance with worried glances toward Ellie now and then. Ellie crunched on her popcorn happily and watched the movie with a satisfied smile and a chipper aura.

— ★

🤔 shall I put out the second part? only time (and interactivity! 💝 pls don’t let this flop) will tell!

[candy-red-river]

WARNING!! ATTENTION TO ALL RANFREN FANS.

RECENTLY THERE HAVE BEEN 3 INDIVIDUALS IN THE COMMUNITY THAT HAVE BEEN CAUSING SEVERE DISTRESS TO THOSE AROUND THEM. WHEN YOU SEE THESE INDIVIDUALS BLOCK, REPORT, OR AVOID THEM.

I REPEAT DO NOT GO AFTER THEM OR HARASS THEM FOR THE SAKE OF EVERYONE INVOLVED.

BELOW ARE SEVERAL COPIED TESTIMONIALS FROM DIFFERENT PEOPLE WHO USED TO INTERACT WITH THESE THREE PROVIDED WITH SCREENSHOTS.

THE DIFFERENT INDIVIDUALS WILL REMAIN ANONYMOUS AND DIFFERENT PEOPLE WILL BE REFERRED TO AS DIFFERENT COLORS FOR THEIR OWN SAKE. TAKE THIS AS YOU WILL.

🚨🚨 IMPORTANT ALARM 🚨🚨

ATTENTION, RANFREN COMMUNITY ON TUMBLR! PLEASE PAY ATTENTION TO THESE IMPORTANT ALERTS ABOUT INDIVIDUALS TO AVOID:

KITTYGIRLCARPET (carpetkittie) RATMISCHEFINPROCESS SEBASTIANTHEHUMAN.

FOR THE SAFETY OF OUR COMMUNITY, PLEASE BE VIGILANT AND TAKE CARE IN WHO YOU INTERACT WITH ONLINE. STAY SAFE AND PROTECT YOURSELVES! ⚠️📢

I will add the reasons why in the following���

First and foremost, I want you to be aware that several individuals have been persistently targeting me for absolutely ridiculous reasons!!!! Despite not doing anything to provoke them, they've been quite unkind and even extend their hostility to others within the fandom. This is why I've been noticeably inactive lately, as a result of their relentless attacks!!!

Starting off with Sebastian, during our former friendship he would often purposeful endanger himself even when his friends would tell him not to. For hours. He'd say he wouldn't do it but would go claim to do that thing anyway. He would also talk heavily sexually when I and him were with other friends despite being 14 (he told me and someone else he was 15) his made me, as an older teen and new adult, VERY uncomfortable. I tried to ignore it and laugh it off.

He would repeatedly lie to us about everything, and played coy whenever we were suspicious. Recently he admitted to harrassing us in private via tumblrs anonymous asks. After we realised what he'd done he had threatened suicide on his instagram, and would immediately go back to using discord the next day.

Sebastian has been spreading lies abt his ex under the age of 13, while he is 14, calling them a groomer and such, a manipulator, spreading their personal vents/rants without permission, etc. Those were all lies, his ex was doing nothing he said. Even when his ex’s status on disc had nothing to do with love or relationships, Sebastian would change his status to pretend he had a boyfriend, to quote on quote, ‘make them jealous’. Sebastian has been obsessing over (censored), going as far to harass his friends, carve his name into his chest and show him, lie abt his age to get closer, then play the victim once confronted. Randal would give Sebastian compliments, which Sebastian would take way out of context, often making lewd and inappropriate comments in response unprompted. He exaggerates Randal’s words, making it seem that they were genuinely flirting or in love. While joking flirting was not unheard of, they were not genuine feelings. Randal had stated several times that he had no romantic/sexual/etc feelings towards Sebastian in any way. When Randal confronted Sebastian, mainly his only responses were “I don’t know what you’re talking about”, no apology, nothing, just feigning innocence. Along with those two things, Sebastian has been sharing his friends personal info, as well as publicly suicide baiting on Instagram stories. He has been saying multiple times that he has “been shoved into a hospital” and/or “actually killing himself tonight”. A final thing he did quite often was make many comments about how “Incel’s are hot” or that he was purposefully going to get groomed, most definitely for sympathy and attention. Also for attention, he would act overly sexual, making random sexual comments unprompted. He is a manipulative liar, he never defends himself, because he can't.

Before reading this, please know I have really bad memory, so I might have skipped over or watered down things Sebastian did, so please bare with me,

Back when I was 12, Sebastian had groomed me for months when him and I dated (and he now refuses it despite me having proof), he also was racist and tries to defend himself over it by saying "it was a dream" which doesnt make things any better. He also frequently spoke about sexual topics and even sent me a list of things he was into despite me telling him I didn't like talking about that stuff considering my age, also considering the fact I was recovering from something disgusting my stepdad did to me a few days prior, which I told him about. He also had shared stuff about my personal life (my hypersexuality, intrusive thoughts, vents, and probably more things I'm not aware of.)

When I broke up with him for the first time because our age gap made me slightly uncomfortable considering I wasn't considered a teen, also because he made me feel like shit and he was already a horrible person for things he did that I explaiend above. Afterwards he made hints that he would be killing himself, he also obsessed HEAVILY over me and manipulated me until we dated again. This time, he treated me as if I was some sort of secret which made me feel horrible because he KNEW our relationship would be heavily frowned upon for two reasons, one being that hes 14, i was 12. and two, people hated his guts and i promised those people I wouldn't go back to him.

He did a lot of things on calls that I can't provide proof for because I'm 99% sure he was taking precautions just in case I left him again. I WILL be mentioning it but they'll just be considered allegations as I can't provide proper proof. We broke up a final time after a month because he kept ignoring me for hours and made me feel like shit because he met new people and I suddenly became irrelevant.

He also liked to make fun of my overuse on painkillers, and constantly called me a "druggie" which only made things worse on my end. He also never shut up about me claiming I ruined his life, I manipulated him, and he was the victim despite me getting groomed by him.

He made me isolate myself from all my friends (irl and online) so he could be the only one in my life, he did this subtly by saying "I don't like your friends blah blah blah" and gaslighted me into believing I hate them. He also liked to flaunt what he did to me because he got away with it, he also admitted he didnt feel sorry for a single thing he did to me. For whatever reason he also faked having a boyfriend to try and make me jealous (which never worked.)

I'm sure theres a lot more things he did, but I'm having a hard time remembering

I have things about Sebastian and it’s just him sending me a mean anonymous question + him telling me about how Randal thinks that he’s the one sending mean anonymous questions so I can write a message about that ? But I’d also like to stay anonymous because I don’t want to be associated with that,, ( ;´ - `;)

The next person to be spoken of is kitty carpet.

The person who kins kitty carpet has been an on and off bother for me and my friends for months now. She would occasionally come up again to insinuate drama, going after my friend and people adjacent to him online. She has also been dating and interacting with people way too young for those such as cherrycon. She gets angry at proshippers but is a self proclaimed "necrophile", who loves talking about how writing dark content is ok while being against it making her morals unclear.

Kitty has a contentious reputation. She inserted herself into a drama not involving her aggressively harassed someone for no reason, causing them to delete their Tumblr account. She's dated a younger person, age 14 while being 17, and spreads malicious rumors about those who reject her advances. Not only did she label a 13 year old as her “master,” but she also resorted to misogynistic name calling a friend of mine.

My experience with Kitty is pretty limited because when I was active in the Ranfren fandom she had me blocked. Not exactly sure why since I had never interacted with her once. Her ex-boyfriend (I forgot his name but his URL was 'Rabiesivory' I think at the time) and I were mutuals. When he had first followed me, I had "MINORS DNI" in both my bio and pinned post. Since he followed me and was reblogging content marked with the "18+ content filter" I had assumed he was of age (he probably lied about his age while registering so he could have access to 18+ posts). I later found out that he was a minor (14 years old), and I ended up blocking him due to this. I was unaware that he was a child because he was not forthcoming with his age. Later on, someone had informed me that Kitty had just turned 17/18 (I forget which one it was but IIRC she is actually 18 IRL) and was still dating this 14 year old boy. My main issue with Kitty is that she is a massive hypocrite and tries to constantly manufacture drama. She has accused me of things I did not do, and has tried to send her friends and followers to harass me. She also is a self-identified necrophile, and has posted about supporting illegal/immoral paraphilias & being a proshipper while simultaneously saying she "hates proshippers" and "doesn't want them to interact with [her]". She has also repeatedly made romantic advances towards non-consenting people. Kitty is a very dangerous person in the fandom, mostly because of her hypocritical nature & her insatiable thirst for drama. I would recommend avoiding her and people she associates with, because from my own experiences she will try to start drama with anyone and everyone over small, irrelevant things. She is also not above lying about things to make others look bad. I especially want to warn any minors in the fandom of her behavior since she is a known groomer and potential abuser.

This section was short, however most of the people above have the same problem with her.

Final one is Michael, this is the shortest section as most people don't know him very well.

My experience with Michael

Michael who was once a friend of my friend or is still a friend, I’m not sure…consistently harassed me and spoke poorly about me. He repeatedly called me a derogatory term because I wasn't online for a day. Even after my friend forgave me he refused to move past the situation, even though it wasn't a serious issue. He has connections with a lot of problematic individuals involved in the entire situation.

Well for starters He seems to enjoy mentioning how my parents like him better than me a lot, for no reason either, its something he likes to brag about a lot which has always annoyed me. In his pinned post where it says he has untreated bpd is a lie, he’s never gotten a diagnosis with bpd, he also shares things that no one needs to know, for example he’s stomped out a little toad before and wouldnt stop talking about it for a week like if it was the best thing he’s ever done.

Warning for transphobia below.

Green has informed me that minors can not be diagnosed with bpd due to puberty and hormonal changes.

I tried to get all of the relevant screenshots down, to avoid stress and harassment I will not be responding to any questions (maybe).

Please do not harass or go after anyone meantioned. Block and report.

[eepyuii]

frostbite — pt. 14

pairing ; childe x gender neutral!reader

content ; childhood friends to “rivals” to lovers, slowburn

cw ; mentions of scars (edit: im a fucking idiot i forgot they talk abt scars at the start of the chapter) and like… brief dottore mention, so u know it’s icky. also u guys will be mad at me.

notes ; AHHH!!!!! I LIVE!!!!! oh gosh so many hectic life events lately….. i hadnt been able to get my hands on this dang chapter for so long

anyhow, i was planning to publish this one early like a day or two ago with a reference to an arlecchino voiceline that was THEN a leak and not out yet, so i’m glad i waited and developed this one just a little more LOL

also good luck with everyone’s arle pulls!!! (better luck than mine i hope ;w;) just like childe and the reader at some point, WANTERS WILL BE HAVERS ‼️

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“agh— be more gentle!”

“i’ll be more gentle if you stop flinching away. you’re a war machine who can turn into an abyssal beast, withstand how draining it is to use it, hold your ground against a champion duelist but you can’t handle a little cotton ball soaked in alcohol?”

“well there’s no adrenaline anymore to remedy this sting, now, is there?”

it’s almost comically reminiscent of your meeting with childe back in zapolyarny palace, where he got himself hurt just to come tell you that he was to leave for liyue— feels like it was ages ago. childe leans against the elegant marble counter of your hotel room’s bathroom, pile of bloodied cottons and tissues piling by his hands, while you clean the fresh wounds he’s just acquired from clorinde.

from how much he flinches and hisses, the wounds almost seem grave… but they’re no more than a few scratches, slashes and bruises. after his witty remark, you can only attribute his absurd resilience during battle to the mentioned adrenaline— otherwise he wouldn’t have gotten nearly as far as he has with those reactions of his.

“so did you get what you wanted from that spar? how was it in comparison to your other tries?”

childe pauses thoughtfully and proceeds to pout.

“…i think she was still holding back. i need another spar.”

“gh-! are you kidding?! childe tartaglia ajax, i am not letting you resplit the forehead i just fixed up anytime soon.”

he sighs melancholy like a grounded child, but nods in agreement anyhow. childe’s eyes remain downward, he mindlessly fiddles with the hem of your shirt as he awaits patiently for you to finish tending to his wounds. once you finish, you scan him up and down to certify that you’ve taken care of everything, until your gaze is caught by his scars.

his war medals.

he’s got an insurmountable amount of them scattered all over his body and not one is like the other— some are large lashes most likely caused by weapons like axes or claymores; some are finer lines caused by swords or daggers; a few of them even look like different types of burns, likely the work of varied elemental catalysts; and some look like small stars or circles, probably the result of arrows or the tips of polearms.

the inches of his skin that his scars don’t cover are littered with the tiniest specs of freckles… ones you’ve barely had the privilege to see over the years as a result of living in eternally cold lands. it’s only been since you’ve both been to warmer regions like liyue, inazuma and now fontaine that you’ve began to notice them.

and you’ve found that the intricate, graceful tapestry that childe’s scars and freckles weave is… gorgeous.

it’s so uniquely mesmerizing that you nearly struggle to find a worthy comparison within words or the world around you. the closest one would be to a starry sky— you imagine that his freckles become the stars that remain stationary and furthest away in the night sky, small and bountiful, while his scars are the shooting stars that flash by in a vivid explosion of light.

it’s beautiful. he’s beautiful.

you’ve realized that you’re less afraid to admit this to yourself now. perhaps spending so much constant time with childe after such a while of misencounters and diverging schedules, has made you become more comfortable around him— to the point where you barely minded him childishly playing with the hem of your shirt. it feels fine, domestic even… almost in the same way that a coup—

“hey, why’re you staring so hard? am i not gonna make it, doc?”

you flinch as you’re snapped away from your train of thought, taking in how childe’s eyes flicker worriedly over your face. unfortunately, your mind isn’t freed from the grasp of your thoughts of… admiration and your gaze quickly flies over his scars once again. the delicacy of the moment, unexpectedly, fuels you with enough confidence to raise forward a hand that lightly grazes a particularly eye-catching gash on childe’s neck— the stretched healed skin ever so slightly bumping against your digits.

“nothing… j’st looking at your scars.” you answer absentmindedly.

beneath your hand, you feel his adam’s apple raise in a hearty gulp. next, childe inhales deeply and exhales a shuddered breath, as if an attempt to ground himself.

“what about ‘em?” he whispers expectantly.

“i like them.”

it’s as if you’ve gotten the liquid courage of a drink while being entirely sober, you’re surprised that you’ve done so much as let yourself say that out loud. though perhaps… that bewilderment might just be your downfall— within the thought, you notice just how close you and childe stand before each other. he leans against the bathroom counter in only the deep red undershirt of his uniform, eyes laser-guided onto your every move while you’re only a hair’s length away from him. his absurd height doesn’t help the moment either, as he’s forced to hunch over and his figure arches forward into you— it’s suffocating.

you can’t allow yourself to crumble and panic right now, it would absolutely destroy you for the rest of your life, so you opt to breathe deeply. childe watches intently as you do and returns it with his own deep sigh, one that you feel hit your face warmly the moment it leaves his lips and so it further capitalizes on just how obscenely close the two of you are— to the point where you breathe each other’s air.

childe’s piercing azure eyes move from matching your own to slightly further down on your face…

to your lips.

“yeah?” he mumbles in the most delicate tone possible, it’s not like you’re too far to hear anyway.

it’s an inexplicable magnetic pull that brings you the smidgenmost closer to him, it has to be so. it must be that same pull that brings you to look at his mouth— plump and pink, likely still store from the split at the corner of his bottom lip. and there’s no other possibility other than that damned magnet as to why your hands slide up to wrap around his neck, childe’s shyly snaking around your waist in response.

you don’t feel like you’re in a bathroom in a hotel room in fontaine anymore, you don’t feel like the seconds pass anymore. it’s a pocket between space and time that has enveloped the two of you, away from everything else.

and there’s nothing in this world left to do other than to lean just a breath closer to each other… just a little more and—

knock knock knock knock!

you flinch away faster than lightning, heart thudding ironically like thunder. childe also seems to have been entirely spooked by the knocks on the bedroom door and he pretends to bring his hand up to scratch something on his face, but you know very well he means to hide his glaringly flushed face— you know that because you do the very same, only you briskly step away to open the door instead.

outside the room, two fontainian officers greet you, though they seemingly go wide eyed for just a brief second as if you’re not who they expect to answer.

“forgive me, friend, this is… mr. tartaglia’s room, is it not?” one inquires.

you frown in suspicion, and you plan to not directly confirm the question as to pry exactly what business two policemen would have with childe. unfortunately, the devil decides to announce it himself by coming up behind you, arms crossed defensively.

“and what might be the problem, officer?” childe asks pointedly.

both officers simultaneously eye the two of you, the blushing idiots opening the door together, and proceed to share a knowing look. the first officer sighs while the second clears his throat awkwardly.

“we apologize for… intruding so abruptly but— mr. tartaglia, you are currently being suspected of being the culprit behind the serial disappearances of young women case. for the time being, you are under arrest and must face trial at the opera epiclese to make your case.”

…what.

“what?”

coincidentally, both you and childe exclaim at the same time— though, childe’s tone is rather condescendingly skeptical while yours is laced with pure, unadulterated shock.

the harbinger scoffs. “well, i can very confidently tell you right now that i didn’t do it.”

yeah, great way to clear any and all suspicion, man.

frustratedly pinching the bridge of your nose in an attempt to help you process the last five seconds, you sigh.

“i-i think what he means to say, officer, is that it’s not plausible for him to even be a suspect in this case. i mean— if i remember correctly, doesn’t that case extend for over twenty years? we’ve only been in fontaine for a few weeks! you can check our travel tickets, they’re dated. plus, we haven’t done anything even remotely disruptive while we’ve been here, both of us have multiple reliable alibi’s regarding our whereabouts over the past few days, and—“

the officer puts up a dismissive hand, effectively interrupting you. “please, leave this for the iudex to hear.”

a metallic jingling catches your attention and you see that the second policeman wordlessly produces handcuffs from his tool belt, the panic bubbles in your throat even further. childe’s shoulders visibly tense and it’s clear that he’s intent on fighting back— with once again lighting fast reflexes, you put a hand on his shoulder and throw him a warning look as a means to discreetly impede him. childe sighs frustratedly but ceases anyhow, allowing himself to be guided out of the room. out of pure illogical desperation, you chase after.

“don’t say anything hostile or stupid until we find you a lawyer! i promise you i’ll be right behind!” you call out as the three are at the other end of the hallway and catch a final look from childe, the emotion behind it is indescribable.

your chest feels overwhelmingly tight.

—

who knew such a resplendent room could be so suffocating.

it feels as though you’ve been waiting for an eternity and the intended comfort of the opera eplicese’s waiting room only serves to unnerve you more. the most important person in your life has just been abruptly accused of being a serial kidnapper and you’re supposed to indulge in sickeningly sweet pastries and tasteless tea? it’s almost derogatory.

your leg has become sore from how much it bounces restlessly, your nail plates scratchy from how much you fidget with them, all the paper napkins on the table sloppily folded into failed paper stars. none of it helps.

you can’t even decide what to worry about, all of it swirls and spirals in your head like a rumbling tornado. is he okay? are the officers treating him well? who will defend him? will he go to prison? for how long? when in the tsaritsa’s name will arlecchino retur—

the door slams open and you jump, partially with the abruptness of it and out of sheer panic to get some news on the situation. your heart starts palpitating again and it takes everything within your willpower to seem more put together in front of the knave.

“s-so?” you ask with an uncontrollable shake in voice.

“it’s invariable, childe must face trial and defend himself. we can only count on the factuality that he is innocent and the oratrice will say accordingly.”

you sigh, at least… whatever in the archons’ name constitutes that machine is infallible.

“the trial starts in five minutes.” arlecchino adds curtly.

you nod and allow yourself to take a deep, grounding breathe before standing up to leave the waiting room. as your hand reaches out to the doorknob, there is a firm grip on your shoulder. you turn ever so slightly to find a pointy-nailed, stark black hand holding you back— another moment to analyze the hand reveals to you that… that’s her skin. black.

a chill runs down your spine.

“allow me, for a moment, to ask a selfish question in exchange for a selfish answer, sargeant.” she stands, voice dark and menacing. “as an asset of the doctor’s… do you share his ideals?”

the question takes you off-guard but it also… doesn’t. you’re not an idiot— you’ve heard of dottore’s letters to the house of the hearth suggesting the, err.. ‘rejects’ be sent to his custody so he can further his experiments. you remember how utterly appalled you were when you first came across the information. if the knave truly cares about the children in her orphanage, it’s no wonder how tightly she grips your shoulder, sharp nails just a breath away from breaking skin.

and so she asks you selfishly, a question not of loyalty but of morality.

dottore’s face flashes before your eyes and your hand subconsciously tightens into a fist, expression hardening.

“if his life were in my hands, i’d crush it in a heartbeat.” you whisper bitterly.

the grip releases you and it’s as if air is easier to breathe after that. arlecchino wordlessly steps ahead to open the door for you and gestures for you to leave first, expression neutral as if nothing had happened.

the courtroom looks like no courtroom at all, rather you feel as though you’re about to watch an opera in a grand theater— the rumors about fontaine seem to be true after all. in the rows of cushy seats, people whisper and gossip endlessly until you find yourself a seat and the booming sound of a gavel being struck echoes through the court, all sound ceases.

“court is now in session for the case of serial disappearances of young women, today we will hear both the prosecution and defense’s arguments regarding mr. tartaglia of the fatui’s alleged involvement.”

a baritone voice echoes through the silent courtroom, the direction it rings out from reveals a white-haired man in proper blue robes, sitting in a balcony that floats above the courtroom’s stage. you recognize him as the iudex, the chief justice, monsieur neuvillette. his tone is elegant and intellectual, with complete considerate professionalism—- its cadence almost reminds you of zhongli in a sense. but that’s not all that reminds you of zhongli… you can’t quite put your finger on it though.

what follows is merely formal introductions from the prosecution and the defense and you take the opportunity to become distracted and ponder over just how catastrophic your morning had turned out. it all happened so quickly too— one second you were… ah… canoodling with childe and the next he was being escorted out the room by law enforcement. had you been cursed by the gods? would they be so cruel as to make every peaceful moment in your life just merely bedding for the next major inconvenience? would they be so frustratingly taunting as to let you get that close to the one you have feelings for only to rip you two away from each other right afterwards?

“it would appear i must repeat my question, mr. tartaglia.” neuvillette says firmly, catch your attention and breaking you from your daze.

“do you accept the charge that you are the true culprit behind the serial disappearances case?”

“to be perfectly honest, i don’t understand your country’s complicated court systems, or the reason why i’m being charged with something i’ve never even heard of.” the harbinger answers bluntly.

“however, i did hear that people who have been charged can choose to participate in a duel to clear their name— is that right? in that case, as long as i accept the charge, i can have an all out fight with that champion duelist clorinde, right?”

…

how can the supposed love of your life be this stupid?

“when i privately sparred with her last time, she was obviously holding back… real disappointing.”

“hey, don’t you understand? you’re currently the prime suspect for a major case! this isn’t the place for you to be looking for fights.” a female voice calls out from the balcony directly above where you seat— while you can’t see who it is, you can only assume from the bossiness of her tone that it’s lady furina herself, the hydro archon.

“oh? sounds like the hydro archon wants to lecture me on the ways of the opera house…” childe taunts. “then why don’t you duel me too? i’m the kind of students that learns best in the heat of battle.”

you’ll kill him, oh you’ll kill this idiot one day… does he want to rot in prison for the rest of his days? this time you truly cannot hold yourself back from subconsciously standing up in panic, limbs urging to get up there and try to amend the situation yourself by arguing like a normal, sane person— but the judging stares of the other spectators hinder you glued to your seat out of sheer embarrassment.

“alas, it would appear that communication with the defendant is going poorly, and we have made very little progress.” neuvillette intervenes. “in that case, let me explain everything from the very beginning again. the goal of this trial is to determine the culprit behind the serial disappearances case—“

“that case had nothing to do with him! you’ve got the wrong man!”

huh? …who said that? did that not come out of your own mouth? seems like something you’d blur out… instead it comes from a flamboyantly dressed blonde woman who bursts into the courtroom at that very second. to you, she nearly seemed angelic in the moment.

“miss navia, this is the second time you’ve interrupted the court proceedings. i only tolerated your behavior last time because you were able to provide the court with a key eyewitness. but that was exception rather than standard court protocol— i can very well charge you with contempt of court for your interjections.”

“oh please, did you ever think i had any respect for this place’s pointless theatrics?” navia scoffs.

“we can put aside that discussion for now, i’m not here to argue with you. i’m here to charge the true culprit behind the serial disappearances case. and if my charges prove true, the tartaglia here will be proven innocent by default, correct?”

neuvillette proceeds to dismiss childe from the stand to make way for navia and allows him to seat in the audience and you feel like you should owe this lady your life. childe’s eyes scan through the seats and when he spots you, he visibly lights up and beelines to the seat next to yours.

“challenging the hydro archon? really?” you whisper playfully.

childe contains himself not to laugh loudly. “can’t say it wasn’t worth the shot.”

it’s as if a wordless conversation settles between the two of you, silent glances and deep sighs that express the mutual hopefulness for a good outcome of this trial. after a solid few seconds of staring at each other like fools, childe’s gaze drops down, you follow it to see his gloved palm sat in the armrest between the two of you— it faces outward in an invitation. your hand joins his without thought and the second your skin registers the warmth that radiates from his hold, it’s like an electric shock runs through your veins. one so buzzing that makes you two simultaneously face away from each other to hide your burning cheeks.

you’d like to pretend that you’re paying attention to the trial, but the ever so gentle squeezes childe hand gives yours periodically seem to take up all of your focus and cause it to short circuit. suddenly, there’s another burst of the courtroom’s doors and there stand the traveler and paimon, because of course they’re somehow also involved in this.

“naviaaa, we’re back!” paimon calls out.

“as expected of my partner! i just knew you’d come back in the nick of time!”

“just how often do you intend to flout the rules of this court…” neuvillette mutters disappointedly.

the traveler’s appearance contributes new evidence towards navia’s favor, who expertly disperses all of the oppositions statements. the culprit is revealed to be a man by the name of vacher, who was intent on bringing back his dear vigneire to the point where he began dissolving innocent young women with primordial seawater. as overtly ridiculous as fontaine’s spectacle culture seemed to be, you couldn’t say that watching this trial play out wasn’t extremely entertaining.

but speaking of innocent…

“at this point, the verdict of this trial is clear. with mr. marcel’s conviction, the charges against mr. tartaglia no longer hold any basis.”

you giddily look over at childe, who seems as aloof as someone who didn’t worry for a second. your fingertips tingle with excitement and you can feel the stress evaporate off your shoulders in real time. neuvillette summarizes the entire case once more and submits the verdict to the oratrice— the machine hums loudly and flashes a blinding blue, producing an envelope finally confirming his guilty status. much to unspoken disappointment, childe lets go of your hand to stand with his chest proudly puffed up.

“well now, hasn’t this been the most delicious piece of drama? the villain has been caught, justice has been served, pas wrongs have been righted and it’s a bit ol happy ending… since it’s been such a great show, i’ll just let the false accusations against me slide. either way, i’ve still got some business to attend to, so if you’ll excuse me—“

the harbinger looks back to offer you his hand once more and you happily take it before childe begins to lead you two out of the room. unfortunately, the guards at the doors of the courtroom remain unmoving as they block the doors and you frown in confusion.

“please wait just one moment, mr. tartaglia.” says the iudex.

“oh, what now? none of this has anything to do with me.” childe groans.

“according to court protocol, since this trial was initiated due to a charge against you, a verdict must also be made regarding the initial charge before the trial can conclude.”

you sigh out of selfish frustration, but opt to respect the proceedings anyhow— it’s not like the verdict will change now. childe, on the other hand, voices his annoyance like a petulant kid.

“please respect the laws of fontaine. this has always been the rule.”

“it’s fine, we’ll just have to wait here a few little seconds more.” you whisper to childe coaxingly.

he sighs. “alright alright, but this has been a lot of hassle. all i need is to stand over there, right? let’s just get this over with…”

“through evidence presented in the public trial that was just held, it has been established that mr. tartaglia has no direct connection to the serial disappearances case. the guilty party has been established and thus, it is logical to suppose mr. tartaglia is innocent of the charges.”

the machine whirrs once more, stirring some curiosity within you as to what exactly makes it tick or give accurate verdicts at all. as the envelope reaches the chief justice’s hands, he seems to stutter for a moment as he reads it. neuvillette’s ever so stoic face falls slightly into a vexed frown and he hums in confusion.

“according to the judgment of the oratrice mechanique d’analyse cardinale, mr. tartaglia is— guilty.”

taglist ; @kentply @osaemu @rain-and-a-nice-nap @koichirana

[uriekukistan]

this may sound a bit silly but i wanted to share it here because idk where else to 🥲

i was thinking about yuuji, during the one month time skip, remembering megumi telling him stuff about the stars and constellations (since he seems to know a lot). so i was like "i wonder when pisces' constellation is best seen" bc i think megumi would tell yuuji abt his sign's constellation, and apparently in the northern hemisphere it's best seen in november :') so now i imagine yuuji looking up at the stars every night and searching for his own constellation, trying to remember megumi's words on how to find it

omg no not silly i think abt them stargazing together all the time :') although i've never thought abt yuuji going on his own after...yeah T_T

like i imagine both of them would have a lot of sleepless nights because they've both seen/been through so much. megumi would have started doing it occasionally after tsumiki went into her coma to feel closer to her, since she was the one who taught him about stars :') but after yuuji "dies" at the detention center, he starts going more frequently. there's more light pollution than when he was in saitama, even on the outskirts of the city, but he still goes, naming as many constellations as he can remember. sometimes he'll look up and wonder if yuuji is staring back at him, even though he doesn't really believe in that sort of thing.

when yuuji comes back, megumi keeps going out at night to watch the stars because he can't seem to erase the image of yuuji face planting into the pavement, even when he's living and breathing right in front of him. then one night, he notices there's a light on in yuuji's room when he's heading out. he knows yuuji's seemed a bit tired recently, and wonders if he's been struggling with the same troubles sleeping, so he invites yuuji out with him.

it becomes a near nightly tradition. when it reaches late october and the air is growing colder, yuuji starts bringing a blanket from his bed and a thermos of tea -- ginger, of course -- because megumi gets cold easily, even though he'll never admit it. megumi points out all the constellations and yuuji listens. he only occasionally brings up aliens, and megumi pretends to be annoyed, but secretly enjoys those conversations. okay, but would you do you if you met an alien, fushiguro?...itadori, i dont- i guess i'd probably try to establish its intentions? that way when the full invasion comes, i'm prepared...that makes sense. you're always so smart, fushiguro.

after megumi's been taken, yuuji keeps going. every night, sometimes all night. choso's worried and wants to go with him to make sure he's okay, which is such a stupid question when he thinks about it, because why would yuuji be okay after all of that? but he doesn't go, no one does, not because they don't care, but because they understand. that's yuuji's alone time with megumi, reconnecting with him through the stars, the same way megumi used to with tsumiki.

hm i think i got carried away here TT_TT i just love and miss them so much, i need to think about those soft moments between them before everything truly went to shit kdfjghlkg

thank u for the ask!!

[yandere-yearnings]

Can I say how interesting it is that Sun is always written during day time— but Dice is written during nighttime? I have been reading everything over and over again because I’m addicted, and I just found that contrast so interesting, since Sun and Dice are both polar opposites, Dice is colder and honestly seems like he has metal walls around his heart, but Sun is exactly like his name, warm and inviting,

idk I’m probably hallucinating and I wrote this while being half asleep, it’s just a theory :p

nonnie i admit i was keeping this ask in my inbox all this time bc i just like coming back to and reading it whenever i feel off abt my writing. the fact that you noticed how i make that distinction between the both of them feels really nice somehow😭💕

in general w/ a lot of my characters, i associate them w/ certain things in my head that i can build around; vio and the ocean, laurent and books, clover and tea, and while sun and dice are not so much night and day, they're usually written at those times bc to me they are warm light and cold light.

i feel like they can be described entirely like that — sun in the hues of orange that you can't help but melt into, a sense of comfort, familiarity,, but also of a world on fire, the feeling of being consumed and overwhelmed by it. kinda like when you're sick, and your head is spinning and suddenly you start to hate how yellow everything seems.

whereas dice is more solid off the bat. a clinical feeling to him, where the distance between you and him is palpable. smth very singular in that you can tell where he starts and ends and his place in relation to everything else. yet, although it's sharp on the eyes and can be jarring at times, there is also peace. calmness. focus. that's the gist of it.

it means a lot to me that you read everything so much, to the point of being able to pick up on the little things and the nuances of their characters, thank you really and truly for that and for sending this ask in🥺🩷 you absolutely weren't hallucinating and ik i'm like two months late but i hope you got some good rest afterwards!!

[merakiui]

the idea of rollo staying at NRC in ramshackle will forever remain soooo fun to me especially with all the other characters freaking out about it HAHA thank you for blessing my dashboard with it <3 it's incredible. maybe one day i'll write a little drabble abt that idea but i'm currently 18.000 words into a rollo/reader longfic (and not even halfway done yet. yippee! what burden did i put on my own shoulders... OTL) and i don't wanna write anything else until i have this monstrosity finished LMAO but if you have any other rollo at nrc ideas pspspspsppspsp thank you

Good luck with your Rollo fic, anon! I know how it feels to subject oneself to long fics, so I wish you all the best with your writing process!!!

As for Rollo at NRC, allow me to share a few thoughts:

✧ Rollo braving the busy cafeteria line when they’re selling the bakery goods once every month. He insists on doing this because he doesn’t want you to get trampled by ignorant mages who don’t know how to be respectful! He always returns with your favorite, sometimes even forgoing the chance to get his own favorite item because you’re way more important to him than a croissant.

✧ PE class with Rollo, but he offers to do the same exercise routine Vargas has created for you since you can’t exactly fly on a broom. He’ll run laps on the track with you (even though he’d rather not) just to be beside you so you won’t feel left out. The two of you slack on sit-ups and push-ups when Vargas isn’t looking, usually just sitting cross-legged in the field and talking about anything and everything.

✧ Since you’re comfortable with letting Rollo stay and sleep in your bed, the two of you will lie on your sides and occasionally whisper to each other through the darkness, mumbling about simple things like tomorrow’s weather, or the next alchemy exam, or how you should both spend this upcoming weekend. Grim usually has to get up and lie between the both of you so you’ll stop talking, but with each nightly conversation Rollo loosens up a little and even seems friendlier and warmer to you and Grim. You think you might’ve heard a genuine chuckle when Grim had gotten up and moved between you, all while sleepily complaining about how neither of you will shut up. Rollo won’t admit it outright, but ever since he started sleeping beside you he’s found that sleep comes much easier now.

✧ Rollo doesn’t like mages, but he’s deemed himself the only mage safe and capable enough to be around you. So when you’re dejected that you can’t experience what it must feel like to fly on a broom he offers to show you without thinking. But then Ace and Deuce are offering, and now Rollo really has to commit to his promise. Ace is too carefree with his flying and Deuce gets too nervous sometimes, so they’re definitely not suited to take you up into the air. Rollo never really thought that something so normal as flying on a broom would appeal to someone who’s never seen or heard of such a thing before, but once he’s in the air with you—and you’re wrapping your arms firmly around him to hold on—he hears the breathy excitement in your voice as you wave and yell down to your friends below. Rollo almost confesses to you right then and there because the sky is the only place private enough for a sudden confession, but he holds his tongue and smiles softly instead. You’re cute when you’re happy.

✧ Rollo likes to study in the library with you, either in one of the alcoves or at a table in the very corner. The two of you might get interrupted by whoever happens to stumble upon you, and it’s annoying when you ask the intruder to stay and study alongside the both of you. But he’s always rewarded after every moment spent with you when you get sleepy and lean against his shoulder, using it as a pillow. Your relationship has become really friendly and casual lately, which is a bond Rollo thought he’d never be able to have. But oh the pride he feels when he looks at Ace or Azul or even Riddle and can see them withholding an envious comment.

✧ When you first took Rollo into the town alongside some friends, wanting to show him around in the same fashion you’d been shown around many months ago, he finds himself thinking about all of the places here that could serve as good date sites. Naturally, taking a walk through the town could be a date in itself, but he sees the cutest restaurants and cafés and shops. And he makes a mental note to return with you next time so that he can properly immerse himself in the atmosphere and pretend it’s a date with only you.

✧ Rollo is there for you if you ever get homesick, much like how you’re there for him when he recalls his past and has to fight tears and sadness so he won’t burden you with such feelings. Rollo doesn’t experience hugs often, but ever since he transferred to NRC you’ve always offered a hug when he looked tired or lonely or saddened. Rollo had pushed you away each time, but when he’s particularly emotionally vulnerable he’ll pull you into him and never let go, holding tightly and burying his face in the crook of your neck.

✧ Stargazing with Rollo when neither of you can fall asleep. Maybe you’re plagued with confusing dreams, maybe it’s his insomnia, or maybe the both of you are kept up by Grim’s loud snoring. Either way, you’ll meet each other in the hall and just silently agree to watch the stars in hopes of getting sleepy. Sometimes you’ll sit at the window; if it’s not too chilly outside you’ll grab a blanket and sit out there, the both of you wrapped up, your gazes turned skyward. Sometimes you’ll talk about deep topics. Sometimes you’ll just wordlessly admire the sky. Sometimes Rollo thinks of telling you he loves you, of reaching out to turn your head towards him so you can taste the confession on his lips. But instead he chooses to admire the brightest star in his world: you.

[fatuismooches]

hiii lovely!!

I am absolutely in love with your fragile! reader content, especially dottore and fragile reader it's just so hhdnsjsfhs anyways I noticed on the fragile reader but they died post that the reader is mentioned to have only met dottore after he became a harbinger so it made me wonder whether dottore would have a slightly different reaction to akademiya! reader, how the letter would be etc like imagine reader talking abt the akademiya days and whatnot </3

anw!! I just wanted to say I adore ur works and they hit home cus I'm rather sickly lol

mwah mwah byeee

- 🌕

Yea, when I wrote that I didn't think of how good a fragile Akademiya reader would be unfortunately, but I wish I did cuz it would have been so much better-😭 AND YES HE DEFINITELY WOULD ILL WRITE A LIL SOMETHING HERE

To Zandik,

As I write this, it is late at night. One of your clones put me to bed a while ago, yet for some reason, I cannot sleep. I keep tossing and turning and so I decided to do something to occupy my mind. It has been rather restless lately, I admit. I... don't know how to tell you this in person, so I'll just write down whatever comes to mind right now. You'll probably end up finding this eventually, so I might as well just let everything out.

I have been thinking a lot about the past lately. Our Akademiya days, to be specific. I have secretly been wishing to go back to those days, even if just for a bit. To go back to the first moment I met you. (How handsome you were.) To go back to those painful study sessions. To go back to those picnics under the stars. To go back to the time I was not sick, and I could spend life with you to the fullest.

Really, those were some of the best moments of my life. I have been thinking about this because... I have not been feeling well lately. I mean, I don't feel well most of the time but nowadays I feel as though the illness is creeping more and more in me. It might just be a temporary thing, I don't really know. I know you are working as best you can, I know you better than anyone. So... don't blame yourself.

Hah, it's too bad. Admittedly I have also found myself daydreaming about the future, although it seems rather dim. I want to see a lot of the world. Did you know that? Well, I should correct myself. I want to follow you wherever you go and see the world that way. You've gone to Sumeru recently, yes? I know you've told me about how much it's changed, but I hope to see it myself one day. And I want to befriend some of your Harbingers friends. What is their opinion of me, by the way? Ah, and I want to take on that Traveler, too. They seem rather pesky.

Well, if I do get better, I will burn this letter and apologize to you with everything I have. But for now, I'll stash it somewhere just in case. And I'll say this now - I love you, Zandik. I love you so much that if I were to be away from you for too long I'd go mad. This love has burned inside of me since the Akademiya, and it still rages within me. I hope you know that.

Dottore would be much more affected although he doesn't really show it. Hell, even the clones are affected, from how they linger by your door a second too long, remembering that there is no you any more to wake up. He puts a mask on his emotions to pretty much everyone. You have been a familiar face for countless years of his life. In the Akademiya, after pulling another all-nighter, the first thing he'd be greeted with was your sleepy embrace around him. He'd roll his eyes at your nagging, and the two of you would get ready for classes. During his expulsion and exile, even though you were ill, you still stuck by his side. And even during the Fatui, you still sent him that tired but lovely smile. Every day, without fail, you could be seen with him at least for a bit. Yet he failed. For the first time in a long time, he failed.

[danothan]

hi, it's f0r! gimme some 🔥🔥🔥 for jjba, kira specifically, and/or barry allen!

i can always count on you to be after my own heart <3

🔥barry: idk enough abt the general consensus on flash media to know what’s unpopular, but i will say, i don’t see enough ppl talking abt him being a fucking asshole. he drags up dead people’s names to make a point, like he fights dirty

examples + analysis under cut (spoilers for flashpoint paradox + blackest night, but mostly bc it gets real long)

this is an alt timeline where bruce died in the alley instead of his parents, resulting in his father becoming this world’s batman. barry is trying to convince batman to come with him to restore the timeline, so he brings up his DEAD SON as a persuasion point?? tbf the world IS ending, plus bruce is very much alive to barry, and he IS trying to get him back, but still a dick move

(pls forgive the ass quality, i was scrambling to take a pic bc the store was closing in 10 min 😭)

hal: death is overrated anyway.

barry: don’t tell me that, tell [the ppl whose loved ones have passed].

hal: i didn’t mean it like that—

barry: tell your dead father.

me: HELLO?!? BARRY??!?!

hal Was being an asshole too so ig barry was just trying to fight fire with fire. he seems to only go this far when ppl's lives are at risk, so i can follow his thought process at least.

the page continues to have hal taunt him for caring too much, and the crazy thing is that barry actually concedes. i was overselling it when i said barry fights dirty bc this is sm more than a petty argument to him. he's not trying to one-up or spite hal, it’s a last resort. so when hal turns it back on him, barry doesn't get defensive back. he knows how much he's hurt his loved ones by being the flash, he regrets not being there for hal, and barry admits to being scared of losing it all again—turning hal's call-out into a moment of emotional vulnerability. and only THEN does hal finally realize what barry's been saying.

so there are 2 interesting things happening on barry's end here. barry’s the type of person to follow the golden rule pretty literally. i've mentioned before in a past meta that barry believes in the goodness of humanity bc he can be—HAS to be a firsthand example, not just to others, but to himself. if he can be a good person, then surely others must be as well. props to the character consistency across all these different media bc this idea even (and especially) applies here:

1) the golden rule, treat ppl the way you want to be treated, giving hal a taste of his own medicine so that he understands. it’s important to note that, again, barry does this out of desperation, not pettiness. and he might be dishing it out, but he can take it too. he chooses kindness when he could've easily dug his heel in after hal tried to call him out, but barry is trying to reach out to hal, not fight against him, and diffuses the situation that he ramped up. before this, my immediate impression was that barry spoke callously out of heightened emotions or misreading others, but the way he’s been leading this conversation and responding specifically to hal’s own emotions shows how calculated barry actually is.

2) like i said, barry goes by the mindset of “if i can do it, then so can you.” he draws a direct comparison to both of their deaths (they died and came back btw) and says he can’t believe that even after everything hal has gone thru, he’s still acting like this. personally, i read this as genuine shock and disbelief, not necessarily a dig at hal. but regardless of intention, hal takes it as an accusation, so he flips it back on barry. however, barry realizes that hal is deflecting. this is where he draws that comparison. barry had to learn his mistakes the hard way. he only realized all of this when it was too late, when he already died. he acknowledges that he’s repeating his mistake of fearing for the worst, but the thing is that he’s learned from his past, grown and changed with it. and so he projects this growth onto hal as if their deaths were at all similar (keep in mind, this is the issue where hal tells barry “i died a sinner, YOU died a saint”). again, going back to that idea of “if i can do it, then so can you.”

i think the only reason it works here is that barry knows hal. he can read him, and more importantly, has total faith in him, more than hal is willing to accept. barry’s hope in ppl is just unconditional, for better or worse; he wants to walk hal thru this together, he switches his language from “you” statements (“i can’t believe you haven’t changed) to “us” statements (“i missed a lot of good times we could’ve shared while i was away. and a lot of bad times we could’ve helped each other through.” … “let’s both slow down and figure out a plan”). to quote my friend emm here, they know and trust each other enough that barry can push that boundary and still end up at a reasonable middle ground.

barry is so full of good intention but he doesn’t exactly play nice if he thinks he knows what’s good for you. “if i can do it, then so can you” is a double-edged sword. he wants to believe in the absolute best in others. it doesn’t matter how many mistakes they’ve made or what their past may be, barry has hope if nothing else. but in the same way, it can be a presumptuous thing, setting the bar too high, putting too much pressure onto others. barry is all about the potential of things, working towards a brighter future, but what about the present? what about NOW? barry used to be troubled by his past, but then he gained closure and learned acceptance, so all he does now is look to the future. his powers put him out of touch with time and reality, but he’s never really been able to live in the present; his superspeed only enables this. past, future, but never the present, no wonder he’s so stubborn.

god, see what i mean! do you see what discussions could arise from dissecting the intricacies of barry’s hero complex! he’s not just a superhero paragon, he’s not just some vanilla good guy (tho he is also all of these), there is an entire thought process and timeline of experiences and flaws to study under a microscope here. and buddy, i am getting my barthology degree.

[cdroloisms]

Curious on your thoughts. What were cPunz and cDream doing in the main cell before cTommy arrived? Like what possible reason do they have to be in there, the place of cDream’s torture?

Since cPunz seemed so adamantly upset about cDream’s torture, “unspeakable things.” Do you think cDream told him details? Clearly they were open with each other about limbo, but cDream also doesn’t seem the type. Or do you think he found out some other way? Also if cPunz and cDream have truly tortured others and themselves in the name of science, then when Punz says “unspeakable things” that would be on a huge scale wouldn’t it? Which really begs the question, what the heck happened in Pandora’s box.

Also, if cPunz could always revive cDream, then why did cDream beg so much in prison for his life. Would it not be easier to do your plans secretly when everyone thinks you are dead? Was daily torture for months truly preferable to death? Which makes me wonder, what is cDream’s limbo that he would rather be tortured and would make cPunz so angry when they killed cDream. And if limbo changes then why is he trying so hard to avoid it. Clearly, Death no longer holds the same meaning, so why does cDream seem to want to avoid death so badly?

All good questions! A lot of which I'm... not sure if I have the answers to, honestly, but I'll throw some thoughts here.

I have suspicions that c!Dream's death meant more than it looked like on the surface. c!Dream fights hard against his death in the prison arc, we know that there's issues with the 'balance' as referenced by several characters atp (c!Punz, c!Dream, XD, idk abt any others) and death + revival obviously has meaning and implications that have not been fully explained. c!Dream and c!Punz going from seemingly doing nothing to gunning for the plan, encouraging c!Tommy and c!Tubbo to collect the server to their location to 'try and stop them' in an effort that they're apparently completely confident will fail? Yeah, that was sus, and c!Dream's death - as far as we can tell - seems to be the catalyst for all of it.

I think whatever was happening in the main cell could have to do with c!Punz and c!Dream's apparent planning - or it could have little meaning at all. It's hard to say, honestly. There's a lot of things that were happening all at the same time and the way that said events were carried out and the circumstances around them are rather convoluted, not to mention how we haven't gotten some of the apparent finales yet. The Incident, whatever it was that caused the white flash and (seemingly) caused the Reset, has been heavily implied as not being the nuke ooc by cc!Tubbo - and the only real thing we can point to as being able to create a server reset (at this point in time) is what c!Dream and c!Punz said about making the world reset. (Personally, I think that also adds some fun context to "it's too late" as well as being an interesting mirror to c!Tommy setting off the nuke and then having a chance for reconciliation right before it hits, but that's not really proof in of itself.)

The Limbo experiments feel ... interesting. I believe that they happened to some degree, for sure. We all know about Vikk and Lazar (though the months claim is something I'll admit I'm suspicious of - iirc, c!Lazar and c!Vikk were both seen right around Doomsday, and c!Dream was imprisoned by the 20th of that same month. That gives them at most 2 weeks, unless they did some more human experimentation post-prison break.) Changing Limbos in some manner also feels accurate - again, to some degree. c!Tommy's Limbo is different the two times we've seen it, for example (but then there's interesting things to consider like Ghostbur and c!Wilbur sharing a Limbo, for example.) Frankly, it's hard to make claims on Limbo imo because everything about the death mechanics in the DreamSMP is just so ,,, variable? Like we don't really have anything to go off of except for their word, and like. We're talking c!Dream and c!Punz talking to c!clingy, here. Not exactly what I'd consider the pinnacle of reliable narration

I don't think c!Dream would willingly tell c!Punz details on the torture without some rational reason to justify to himself. Whether that means what c!Punz knows comes from extrapolation or c!Dream unwillingly telling him (because he's not lucid or something, as an example) or because c!Dream tells him as a warning for some kind of post-prison Limbo experiment (like, fyi, pulling a knife on me might make me have a panic attack lol) - I don't think I have a particularly firm opinion either way. And that, of course, is assuming that c!Dream told him anything at all. c!Punz was keeping an eye on the server, after all, and he could've just. Known about c!Quackity torturing c!Dream (considering he was trailing blood literally all over the server) and filled in the gaps himself.

[nightmare-foundation]

I keep seeing and impulsively checking the blog of an old fairly toxic friend of mine n I just.

Man. Why do YOU have to be doing well. Why am I the only one who looks back and ends up feeling awful.

Not that I want him to suffer. It's better he doesn't. But like,, I'm always the one on the chopping block between the two of us. It's been 4 YEARS and one month since we've completely ceased contact. Yet my dumb ass STILL can't not think abt him at random

Like,, I'm sure I wasn't completely innocent. I was a really weird 13 year old who never had a genuine friend before, not to mention my mental illness and trauma I had yet to uncover. Yet the only person who never communicated nor seemed to care about our friendship was him. I could be pushy at times, yeah, but I always backed down if told no and whatnot.

Not only that, but I'm still annoyed that he straight up LIED about me and what I was like. One of his (ADULT) friends had contacted me in late 2018, claiming I was, and I quote, "manipulative, misgendered him, and used him as an emotional dump truck". I was 13 years old, and my only friend besides one other person had blocked me for no reason.

Literally for that WHOLE month, I was terrified. I had panic attacks and was anxious as hell. And I'll admit I was a little dependent on him, but I was still fucked from that experience.

Once we started talking again and boundaries set up. He SORT of apologized, but always insisted he was an awful friend, so I ended up having to comfort him instead. I always made excuses and everything for him, convinced that I was awful. And literally like,, there was no effort put in from his side after that. Aaaand then April 2019, I was suddenly messaged and blocked, and that was the last time we talked.

I was hurt obv but like. After that. I kept on being targeted by his adult friends (we were both 14, the friends were at LEAST 23+). Deadass I still don't know what the hell was said abt me but I KNOW it wasn't good. Bc before I knew it I had someone call me a pathetic bitch while I was having a panic attack over feeling guilty for shit I didn't do, then I was banned from like 3 system servers for "interacting inappropriately with a minor". Cue me literally being 14 at the time, a csa survivor, with no evidence even when I asked repeatedly for it, with literally no access to anyone younger than me bc of discords TOS.

The stress from that LITERALLY made us split several times and caused us to switch hosts. Sammy, the alter who was host at the time, is likely STILL dormant. All of that happened in practically the same year.

I'm still fucking baffled by it, angry, and hurt. It's been 4 damn years and I'm 90% sure he doesn't even remember us now.

Like,, christ I still can't interact with the undertale fandom for long bc it makes me remember him. I can't even look at art styles resembling his bc it makes me sick! I am TERRIFIED of venting bc I'm scared someone will lash out at me or accuse me of dumping all of my trauma on them. I'm scared I'm doing something wrong without knowing it and that tomorrow I'll wake up to having no friends bc they all blocked me.

Hell, I have issues trusting people who use the same name as him! I avoid a whole GROUP of people because I'm terrified they'll recognize me and start drama with false claims. Anyone who may have been so much as NEAR him I can't completely interact with besides a couple reblogs here and there.

And like,, I'm sure he's doing completely fine. That he's entirely unaware of the damage he caused. And, yeah, good for him, he's not suffering like I am. But also,, I'm painfully envious. I wish I was left pain free.

It's so stupid. It was 4 years ago. I really need to get over it.

[unluckilyimnot]

Helloo!! Could you possibly write a part 2 to your rindou angst marriage fanfic u wrote? You could write about slowburn,angst,fluff,however you want to continue with it! I just wanna hear more of your thoughts abt it cuz it's been my fave fic these days and i keep reading it every time i need some inspiration 👉👈

Hiiii I can absolutely do that (even if i took forever to do so) I'm really happy to see that you thought that much about it and hope it's not to late haha Thank you sm !

type: slow burn (ig), fluff

Words count: 4.7k || Pt.1 || Pt.3

note: I can’t count the number of mental breakdown I got bc of this. I never ever wrote slow burn and then suddenly I’m doing one with an awful base, great idea Mia. Anyway, here’s my first slow burn (if it can be considered as one), hope it’s not too bad for the time it took.

I would really appreciate feedback back for this one so feel free to comment or send a message, thank you !

Rindou was thinking a lot since the last time you two argued. It wasn't the first time for you to take care of him like this, but neither of you ever speak your heart like this and he has to admit that his mind didn't want to let it go. The way your hand was so gentle towards him, patting his cheek as if he was still a kid. It's been a long time since you did that and, this time, he could remember your touch on his skin without hating it. It's been what, one or two weeks now ? He couldn't understand why he wasn't getting over it yet. It was poisoning his brain. Overthinking the whole situation like he never did before. Was it because he was too angry to face it before ? Or just to try to know you ? This was messing with his mind and he doesn't like it at all. It never was important, you never were, so why now he was thinking about how dirty he did you ? That was pure nonsense. Just like you.

"Rindou are you listening?" Ran's voice rises and Rindou lifts his head. "Yes, I am," answers Rindou but his lost eyes show that, in fact, he wasn't at all. Shaking this whole situation out of his mind for the next few hours. He was worried that this would take too much space when he had to work but at the same time, he couldn't find a way to resolve it. So he'll ignore it til the end of the day or Ran would kill him if he has to call him out one more time.

Ran obviously noticed how his brother's behavior changed since that night but he just couldn't figure out what happened since Rindou doesn't talk to him about it. Which he finds weird in the first place because they usually talk about everything together. He was curious to know what was happening to his brother. As the two of them go on their meeting, someone suddenly comes inside after a firm knock. The two Haitani were sending daggers to them for this audacity but cut it out when they saw a pretty woman enter the room.

Leaving for work this afternoon, you noticed a pile of files on the kitchen's table as you passed by to take something to eat on the way. Seeing your last name on it, you assumed that it was Rindou’s files and that he forgot it this morning. You knew you didn’t have the right to take a look at all, it was confident stuff most of the time, so you simply grabbed it and decided to pass by the Bonten’s building before going to your own after putting some sweets in your bag. Driving to the place, it almost seems like a normal company you said to yourself as you stop in front of it. It must be insane for someone outside of this world you guess. But yes, for people like you, it has always been normal to carry top secret papers and a gun in your bag while playing innocent. Entering the building as if it was yours, you were surprised to see two guys coming to you and asking for your matter. You don't come around a lot but still, you weren't anybody either. But you can't know everyone, right ? So you let it go and smiled at them.

"I'm bringing papers to my husband, he forgot those this morning," you said with a little smile, trying to be nice as you showed them in your hands.

"I've never seen you around with anyone though..." Imply one of the men, making you quirk. Not coming around everyday doesn't mean that you're lying. You don't have to do so just because of your previous last name in fact. You never needed to be a Haitani to be respected. You sigh as they didn't let you pass even after reading the name on the files.

"Don't make me call him, he won't answer anyway," you explain. Rolling your eyes, you push them aside softly to go on anyway. One of them roughly catches your arm and tries to get you out. A fragile sigh leaves your lips, your cool was more than down and you didn't have the time for this bullshit. Being late is one of the things you hated the most in life and being taken for an idiot too. The thought of killing him right away crossed your mind and the gaze you sent to this poor man made shivers go down his spine in terror when he catches your eyes. "Don't touch me," you instructed, not feeling like playing the sweet wife anymore.

"Oh Miss Haitani, it's been a while since the last time you came," says a young lady passing by with a smile. Her voice calms you down immediately and the man lets you go for the sake of his dear life. She was new the last time you came and you guided her through the building because she couldn't find an office. She was such a kind memory to this place you don’t necessarily appreciate that she calms your nerves. At her words, the two men finally let you live and you go on to the elevator to find Rindou.

Clenching your jaw as the door closes, thinking that a simple lady working here has more value than your words drives you mad. You'll talk to him about it, if you can ever see him. Leaning on the wall as you were alone in the cage, you thought that maybe you wouldn't even have to see him today. Your strict expression falls for a second, replaced with a morose one. You hoped you could, you didn't see each other often after all, but you're always happy to speak with him. Even if it's fighting or just a hello, it warms up your heart. He was right, you're stupid to love him, but hope make you live right ? So you'll continue till it kills you. The doors open in front of you, taking you out of your thoughts before you straighten up when people come in. Going down to the right floor, you walked to the room Rindou is usually in with his brother. As you were about to knock when someone stopped you again and this time you didn't take any of it. You knock and open anyway, a blank expression to contain your anger.

Rindou was surprised. He never expected you there and almost never saw you when you were ready to work. You stand out immediately from anyone in this room, black and red outfits flattering your skin. For the first time in his life, he finds you pretty. Your prideful gait and straight face flutter him a bit as you lay his papers on the desk.

"You forgot this," you simply said as you looked him in the eyes, not waiting for anything but a kind of fondness in it. He answered a little thank you, not shutting your gaze and he had to blink a few times before he could. Leaning his gaze on the other men around the table, their looks on you slightly irritate him. Do men usually look at you that way ? He never expected it. Maybe because he never saw you like a woman but mainly like a kid stealing his freedom. You were in fact a beautiful woman, he had to admit it. You nod and turn around to leave and go take care of your own business. Everyone followed you as you stepped back out of the room. Looking at him one last time, you showed the man next to the door.

"And tell your men about me please, the next one who touches me is dead," you add firmly before definitely passing the door without a goodbye. You weren't a kid anymore and Rindou started to realize it only now. Ran looked at his brother's stun reaction as you left, thinking about what must have happened for him to react like this. Looking through the papers, Rindou realized he actually needed it later on for this meeting and should have been more thankful. But that can’t stay on his mind for too long, immediately coming back to work because it needs to be done and resolved by the end of the day or Kokonoi would kill them. He was thankful, but you still weren't that important. A message would be fine.

By the end of the day, as you were still at work, your phone lights up, showing his name on the screen. You opened it, surprised to receive a text from him because it rarely happened during your three years relationship. It was a simple thank you, nothing less or more, but it made you blush like a high-school girl. Making you think that it was really helpful and worth it to stop by before coming here and proceed to go back to work so you could come home soon.

“Say Rindou,” Sanzu doesn’t even have finished his sentence that Rindou wanted to quit it. He doesn’t feel like talking or arguing with him today. His nerves were nothing to play with right now, tiredness showing in his eyes. Last night’s mission was longer than expected and he just wanted to cool down with someone to fill his mind. Forget everything for a while. Glaring at the pink-haired boy, Rindou really wished this would be enough for him to shut up but the only answer he got was a mischievous smile.

“I saw your girl the other day,” the world he used made Rindou hiss. You’re not his girl, you’ve never been and would never be. He despises the fact that Sanzu keeps on calling you like this.

“She’s freaking hot, I don’t understand why you bother to find some girls here and there when you have this at home,” joked the guy while resting on the back of his seat with a smirk.

“Shut up,” spited Rindou, shutting Sanzu’s month only for him to smile, amused.

“If you really don’t want it, at least share-”

“Enough !” screamed Rindou, “stop being fucking horny for a minute and leave her alone.” His strict tone surprised everyone, he never acted like this, maybe because they usually don’t bring you on. It’s been a while since anyone jokes about it, and it was better that way. Knowing that people think of you that way made him angry in a way, he doesn't like the idea. In his mind, you’re still so young so he doesn't understand how anyone could want you or find you attractive. Even if he faced it the other day, his mind still doesn’t want to see you as a grown up woman. But it’s the case, and maybe you’ll change your mind one day because you will understand that him, and this marriage, aren’t worthy to you. He will come back home and you won’t be there - or there will be someone else here with you. Rindou never dared think about it but, this too, makes him kinda angry. He’s just used to you being at his place when he leaves or comes back.

Thinking about it only now, Rindou wonders why he never got to see you in that kind of outfit before. Of course, he leaves before you most of the time and also comes home late, if he ever comes back. He never saw you leaving or coming back from work. You always seem to be at home. He never really cared but that was normal for him to act like this. Even though Rindou was acting weird lately because of that day and now Sanzu’s words.

“If one day she changes her mind, tell her to call me,” jokes Sanzu again, not knowing when to stop.

“She won’t,” answered Rindou quietly, desperate himself.

“You’re so full of yourself,” adds the pink-haired boy, now bored by his answer.

“I’m not, she’s just like this. I want her to change too…” Rindou suddenly seems a bit numb, angriness gone and only his mind even more stuffy. He doesn’t want you to stick him to death like this, he’d love it if you were able to change your mind, but not to go with someone like Sanzu. And as long as you stay at his place. It might seem to be contradictory, but in his unstable life you're the only thing that hasn’t changed in years and maybe he minds it more than he expected. After that, Rindou leaves the place alone without adding anything, leaving some of them annoyed or concerned. Ran doesn’t really get why his brother is now so concerned about you, but he really wanted to talk about it now.

Rindou comes home with someone that night. He never really does that because he knows he can meet you and doesn't want it to happen at all, but in his head it was clear that you’re rarely here on Thursday night. He never sees you anywhere in your shared apartment and so thought it would be okay for once ; he didn’t want to sleep over tonight, too tired for that. It's better to send her home when he’s done than to himself get home later. Everything was calm, nothing could be heard beside their footsteps and that was all he could pray for. As the girl entered the living room, looking around because she never gets to see where he lives even if they saw each other a few times now, she was more than ready to have some fun here. The place is big, tidy and the overall atmosphere is just perfect. She was already loving it.

“I really like your place, you choose all of this ?” she asked, mentioning the decoration and softly letting her hand go on the couch to feel the texture.

“That’s all you care about ?” answer harshly Rindou. Of course it was not him, this whole place is based on your tastes and he knows you have good ones since everyone told him that his place is so well decorated. It made him sick at first, but now he’s just used to it. She wasn’t there to look at the decoration but him and suddenly, he was off. All he could think was you, again. Following her to the living room anyway, being sure that his mind will change again if she shuts up, he notices something unusual. The door or your office was slightly open, a little lamp glowing inside but mostly you leaned on your desk. Your hair was still up in a ponytail and he couldn’t see your face but was sure that you were asleep. Chills drive down his back at the thought of you waking up to him fucking someone else here and his mind quickly get a conclusion. Grabbing the girl’s arm, he pulls her to the door in a rush.

“My wife is here, you have to go.” His tone looks like you didn’t know any of it and that was better that way or else she wouldn't let him alone easily.

“So we’re going somewhere else ?” she asked, sure that he will follow her. “No,” he simply said before pushing her outside.

“Don’t call me,” was the last thing slipping out of his mouth before he closed the door in front of her face. Rindou was confused at his own behavior. He could follow her at her place but it just doesn’t feel right anymore. Leaning his back against the door for a moment, a sigh leaves his lips before heading to your office. As he passed the door to check for real this time, you were certainly sleeping, an open window with a planned meeting for later on the screen. He never comes to your office before but you always seem to get out of there when you greet him when he’s back. Based on all the files that were accumulated here, you probably mainly work from here and that explains why he rarely saw you in the kind of outfit of the last time. Rindou doesn't dare look at your papers, knowing too well that you’ll never look at his, but still lets his gaze go around your desk, observing your workplace. It was like learning things about you and, to his surprise, it wasn't that bad. You look really invested in your work, have a photo of your younger brother on your desk and even a post-it to call your mom regularly. As he looked at all the things you had around your screen, he found one with when he comes home regularly and even important dates of the month, probably so you know when he comes back or not. That was showing that you cared without stepping on his intimacy.

His eyes fell on your sleeping figure, it definitely was bad for your back to sleep like this and he finds himself hoping that it doesn’t happen too often. You weren’t the little girl that wanted to follow him everywhere anymore, too curious about his job even though your dad did the same and teaches you everything you need to know. You learned to stay in your place and were now respected for sure based on your attitude outside this place. Maybe Rindou was wrong. Yet he won’t tell you that. So, before he leaves, he puts your jacket on your bare shoulders so you won’t be cold when you wake up and closes the door behind him to be sure to not wake you up.

“So both Haitani have to go, make sure to find someone to go with you because I don’t want to do it this time,” Koko warns while searching for the next subject of the meeting in his papers. A little chuckle leaves Sanzu’s lips, happy that it's not him but even more ‘cause it’s them. Rindou isn’t a big fan of events like this but if Mikey is asking for them, there must be a reason. Or not, they’re just there and he probably doesn’t want to send Sanzu or he will make a mess. Still fair enough to Rindou to not sigh at the thought. He just has to find someone, but someone was already on his mind. Plus, he understands Koko’s point : last time, they were both awful because they had to go instead of Sanzu and Kakucho and the poor girls had to go through their bad temper, no matter what, the whole night. This time wouldn’t be the same though, and it’s gladly appreciated. Ran likes those, and Rindou never mind coming with his brother when it's already planned like this. Everything must go well as long as no-one is acting like a jerk around them. It rarely happens in that kind of meeting but, there’s always some person for whom it’s the first time and so they can’t behave. Anyway, Rindou was praying not to cross their roads. He has something else to deal with first.

As Rindou was leaving the meeting with his brother when it finally came to an end, the older one offered him a ride home so they could talk about it further. Ran waves at the others while leaving , smiling but finally happy to have some time with his brother. Plus, they were both busy lately and didn’t get to talk to each other a lot, and since he knew something was off, Ran couldn’t wait to be in his car to talk. Walking to where Ran's car was parked, they both sat in silence before driving out of the parking lot. Ran felt like it’s been an eternity since this happened.

“What’s wrong Ran ?” asking Rindou straight away, knowing his brother too well to know that something was on his mind. His eyes were looking through the window, his chin in his hand, waiting for him to talk but he was obviously busy thinking.

“I want to know what’s on your mind lately,” answered the older one, looking at the road. After a short break, Rindou added a little “nothing” that could never convince his brother and he knew it. Ran sighs before shaking his head a little. Why was he always like this ?

“You can talk to me you know, we’ve been together for life,” he assures, looking sideways at him but he wasn’t moving. “You’re just weird lately and I’m worried. Is it because of Sanzu’s joke the other day ?”

Rindou clenches his jaw at the memories. Simply imagining it makes him want to kill him, and that fact shows how much he changes already. Acknowledging you was something that shakes him deep down, and he doesn't want anyone to joke about it anymore.

“Or is it just about her ?” adds Ran carefully after watching his reaction. His intuition was right, that time when you came to their office really did something to him, as if it was the first time he really saw you. Rindou knew it was impossible to hide it from his brother and sigh before leaning on the back of his seat.

“Just her,” he whispers, like it was a crime to say it out loud. Doing that made it real, and it was still hard for him to admit it. That you were on his mind, that he was kinda worried for you now, sometimes. He hopes you had enough sleep after your late meeting, that no one is bothering you anymore and even asks himself if you remember to eat since you work alone most of the time. It feels stupid and ridiculous, he never did that for anyone and he never thought he will for you but there he was, thinking about sending you a message at 2pm to asks if you’ve eat today when he almost never texted you.

“I feel like a child,” started the youngest, covering his eyes. Ran hum in response, encouraging him to go on. “She’s been on my mind a lot, I started to feel bad being like this with her. She always did a lot for me without me realizing it.” He cuts himself to breathe. Acknowledging that he was wrong seems harder than any mission he ever faced and Ran was ready to wait and listen to him like he always did.

“She’s not a kid anymore,” Rindou finally said but those words were cutting deep in his throat. He probably was the only one to not see it yet, too blinded by the view he had of you, of the child who cuts his freedom and who would always be useless to him because you were too young and immature.

“Better late than never,” answered his brother with a bit of sarcasm. No need to say that it wasn’t welcomed by the youngest who sent daggers at him. “I’m kidding,” chuckles Ran, “What are you gonna do now ? Accepting your marriage ? Considering her as your wife for real this time ?”

“I don’t know, I’m still thinking about it. But I stopped seeing other girls and she was the first one that came to my mind when Koko said we have to come with someone,” admit the youngest. A small and prideful smile appears on Ran's lips at his words. Rindou always blamed you for not being mature enough, but with time, he was the immature one in this relationship and he was ready to go on and face it. Finally.

“So you will ask her ?” Ran couldn’t contain his happiness, he always finds you cute in fact, and thinks that you suit Rindou pretty well in the end.

“Don’t be so happy about it,” pouted Rindou but still nods at his brother’s words. Yes, he will, even if he was anticipating your reaction.

Rindou tried to act normal as he came back home but his hands were sweaty. He stressed about it more than he thought. He rarely talked to you, besides arguing, and it feels weird to suddenly ask you to come with him at a big meeting as his date. Maybe he should apologize first. Thinking too hard about it, he doesn’t realize that he was now in front of your office door and, after a deep breath, he takes his courage with both hands and knocks.

The sudden noise makes you flinch. No one ever knocked on your door here and, for a second, you forget how to respond to that. You regain yourself fast and get up with a little “coming” before opening the door. There was Rindou, freshly coming back from work but without that annoyed expression he always has. Questioning yourself, you tilt your head to the side, not knowing if you should be the one speaking first or letting him since he was the one - kinda - asking for you.

“Do you need something ?” Yes, you talk first by reflex in the end, even if it never ends well. But for some reason, Rindou standing oddly calm in front of you made you feel calm too ? It never happened yet, he was always aggressive around you. Agreeing to your words, he was now searching for his words or how to say it and you never thought you'd be blessed enough to see Rindou like this. awkwardness showing in his attitude and looking away with a frown that didn’t seem hard at all. You wanted to chuckle, but kept your mouth shut and instead smiled politely.

“Just tell me, don't be ashamed,” you added sweetly. Rindou sighs, realizing he was probably ridiculous, he just decided to ask right away.

“I have an important meeting in a few weeks and I wanted to know if you could be my date for the night,” he said quickly, and if you weren’t used to your co-worker speaking so fast you probably wouldn’t have understood a single word. But you did and your cheeks grew hot immediately. You were touched by his offer for sure, but at the same time couldn’t believe it. Rindou never wanted you around him, to hear about you and was angry to get here because that means seeing you, why was he asking you this now ? He clearly saw the misunderstanding in your eyes and decided to speak up.

“I was the childish one in the end, but I want to make it up to you. That doesn’t mean that we’ll be a happy couple tomorrow,” he warns you. “But I’m ready to try to know you better…”

Your heart flutters at his words. It felt like you’ve waited all your life to hear those words. Your hand that was left on the door to keep it open falls slowly as your brain processes them and a lot of things come to your mind.

You didn't even think of nodding in agreement but were already retracing your schedules in your head to be sure you were free. Rindou was waiting for your answer, worried to the bone. You didn’t know, but you were so serious that he was sure you’ll smack the door at him soon because it was way too easy to come to you like this. Instead, you signal him to come inside with you so you can check the date and secure it for him.

“You’re okay with it ?” he asked, confused. Sitting at your desk, you looked at him surprised. “Of course I am, you’re asking so why would I say no ?” It was your first wife's duty, and you were more than glad to accept it. Even more since he was the one asking. So with a smile, you show him to come to you once again so you two can check together.

Rindou looked at you in disbelief, you sure were weird. He still doesn’t get you, and he doesn't really know if he will one day. But he will surely try from now on.

It took me some times, I’m sorry. I was, at first, in an exam period, but since I’m positive to covid I use that time to write and rest

[sluttywonwoo]

dear beautiful tumblr user hotgirlwonwoo, did we ever get a part 4 of vern liking his best friend bc that shit has been living in my mind rent free and i need to know what happens next!! (pls ignore if u've already mentioned smth abt not doing anymore - i've been off tumblr for a while & couldn't find anything in ur recents posts kalsfjaf) love u lots ! x

read parts 1-3 here

you sound breathless on the phone, vernon thinks. had you been crying? his heart drops to his stomach at the thought. he hadn’t meant to be so weird when you came over. he just… couldn’t help it.

vernon had tried getting off again after you left. but he was too distracted to cum. he could tell you were upset by the way you blew him off at the door, but he still managed to convince himself that maybe things would be ok. now you weren’t replying to his texts, and he was getting worried. so he called you.

“what?” you demand upon answering, and that’s when vernon hears it. the heavy breathing. it catches him off guard, you must’ve been way more upset than you had been letting on. had something happened? had you needed him and he pushed you away? “vernon? are you there?” you ask, yanking him out of his spiraling. he realizes he hasn’t said anything yet.

“oh, uh, you weren’t answering my texts,” he says stupidly.

“i didn’t see them. but you only sent them thirty minutes ago. do you expect me to wait around all day for you to message me?”

he shouldn’t have called. this was a dumb idea. you sound impatient and angry and yet the uneven breathing on the other end of the line makes him think about having you underneath him. his mind wanders to what you’d sound like if you were out of breath because of him, if you’d pant or moan…

“no, not at all!” he scrambles. “you just seemed upset when you left earlier, so i thought you might be ignoring me.”

“i was upset,” you admit easily. the next part is a little harder to verbalize. “you were acting strange, like you wanted nothing to do with me… so i was just taking time for myself— away from my phone.”

hearing this makes vernon panic because that wasn’t the case at all. it was the opposite, actually. he wanted everything to do with you, and it was driving him crazy. he had never had a crush on a friend before and he was still having trouble coming to terms with it, but he hadn’t meant to make things weird between you in the process.

“i’m sorry,” he says hoarsely, “i’m so sorry. i didn’t mean to make you feel that way. i’ve just had… an off-day. it had nothing to do with you, but i shouldn’t have let it ruin our movie night.”

there’s a pause before you respond.

“it’s ok. i’m sorry you had a bad day. is it that professor again?”

“yeah,” vernon lies.

“you should’ve just told me! i could’ve typed up a strongly worded email for you or something.”

“i… was embarrassed about it. i’m not doing well in his class.” another lie.

“vernon, it’s just me. you know i won’t judge you about something like that.”

he does know that. but you would definitely judge him if you knew the truth.

“yeah, i know. i’m sorry.”

“i know you are. just… tell me next time, okay?”

“i will. and i’ll make it up to you! do you want to come back over? i know it’s kind of late, but we could watch another movie, or an episode of our show?”

“oh, um… i’m a little busy right now,” you answer.

vernon deflates, but he understands. he isn’t sure that he would’ve been able to keep his emotions in check if you were to come back over anyway. and then you’d be right back where you started.

“that’s okay!”

“i’m free tomorrow night, though.”

“i am too. you should come over then.”

“sounds good! i have one condition, though.”

“what is it?” he asks, willing to do quite literally anything for you.

“since you’re making up for today and all, i get to choose the snacks.”

“deal.”

he can hear you smiling through the phone when you continue. “okay, we have to have popcorn and red vines.”

“i’m on it. i’ll go to the store in the morning,” he assures you.

you work out the rest of the details together and then hang up for the night. vernon feels a million times better than he did when he dialed your number. he hasn’t ruined everything with you, at least not yet. he has twenty-four hours to get his act together so that things can feel normal between you two, and step one is getting rid of that pesky crush.

[mygnolia]

crush﹢relationship headcannons w/ chan!

pair -› chan x gn!reader

genre -› fluff, pure fluff

wc -› 1.1k

cw -› food mention (hot choco), one word abt barf 

a/n -› ngl ive changed my a/n bc this has been collecting dust in the drafts and its so funny to see whenever i come back and chance it to “im in love” and then “man i wish they liked me back”

© All rights belong to mygnolia copyrighted 2021. Any republished or reposted work on this site and sites differing from original under other names will be reported and removed immediately.

he probably smiles whenever he sees u

you two probably have mutual friends

like you and seungmin probably are friends and just mess around with jeongin

omg unstopabble trio fr

but one time seungmin in his lavish big rich boy house goes “lets have a sleepover”

yall playin word games bc its 2 am and obviously your braincells (do not) work

assuming yall can drink but if not we’ll blame it on the sleepiness

you’re just laughing rlly hard to this joke minho makes and everyone stares unimpressed at him and chan looks over and kind of

smiles at you

like this toothy moon crescent eye smile that has you thinkin about him

all fuckin’ night too

like you probably think about how it would feel if he smiled to you romantically

and your mind is reeling

anyways you fall asleep fast but chan can’t sleep and when he does its late

they def dont want to overwork him so they let him sleep as much as he can

bro yall fall for each other SO fast…(barfs)

yall probs go to the fair in town or like a pumpkin patch with games and he’s just admiring you from afar

proud smile lovesick grin holds your hand when you win smth

he definitely wins a large stuffie like a bear or an elephant

and i’d think he’d pull something slick like “hey lets trade stuffed animals i don’t like holding this one”

just would be a total sweetheart

i think he would drive you home! just very subtle glances soft smiles and all of your friends were like “placing bets they’re totally kiss”

when he nears your home he asks if he can kiss u

yes! ofc! i think he’s still a little shy so it was be rlly short and sweet!!

asks if he can talk to you tmr abt the whole thing and feelings

heart combustion? immediate? and all he’s thinking rn is “man i think they’re so wonderful and cute”

and YOU’RE thinking about how long you’ve been waiting and how you’re so giddy

u go to bed with a smile on ur face fs

you two talk it out, shy smiles and hugs and he admits he was scared you didn’t like him the way he liked you

but u do!! and everything is pretty sunshine and rainbows

i think chan would be as caring as he can between his work hours he still crams in a hug or shared dinners

school would be tough on both of you and though you might be sad you didn’t see or receive a text you yourself are probs cramming for finals so u understand

winter break!! it’s your three month anniversary plus christmas and u’ve been saving a bit of money up to get him whatever he might want

chan would be happy for the gift but he would be most excited to spend time with you

tries to stay as close as possible like holding hands, cuddling, head on your shoulder, just some sort of skinship because i feel like he wants to feel close to u?

UHM DOES CHAN LIKE HOT CHOCO

n e ways lets assume he does, would make u a lot of tea and hot choco since it’s easy

chan seems like the type to buy u smth like a necklace or a bracelet and make you a long handwritten letter telling you about how he just simply adores you

i think he’s just really in love with u like he never wants to lose you EVER

you would really think he’s a gem

you’re both honest and you both feel like it’s a bit unreal if you were to spend your whole lives together

like its not impossible, but he’s like a dream you’re afraid of waking up to experience a life without him yknow

i think you both have a clear grasp that you might not be his forever and vice versa, but he would never hold it against you if you two broke up or split

things happen, people drift apart or lose that feeling for their significant other

but you both think that time hasn’t come yet so you two enjoy each other for now for as long as u can

chan’s just always so sweet and you wonder what he finds in you

he doesn’t get it tho like he doesn’t get how u don’t see how wonderful u are for him when you ask if he still loves you or if he’s ever going to leave

chan: no i would never babe :(( you mean so much to me why would i ever do that to you without telling you first

he’s scared of losing you too though

worries that you’ll find someone who makes you laugh harder or makes you fall harder than how you fell with him and it makes him sick when he thinks about you with someone else

not because he’s jealous, but because he wouldn’t ever want to lose you simply because he loves you so much

he’d find so many flaws with himself and beats him up for it

and i think you’d have to remind him that you don’t love him because he’s perfect, but you love him for him and that’s what matters

sometimes there are rough patches and it’s okay! you two promise to talk about whatever might bother you as long as your comfortable with sharing and would discuss anything he notices in ur relationship

but it’s not like a scolding

everyone has different ways of communicating and sometimes chan just wants to make sure u know that he’s always here for you

and that he’s not going to push any of your boundaries

but he also expects the same which is reasonable! (he has his personal matters or things he wants to avoid talking about and you make sure not to overstep)

he just wants to make sure everything is alright and doesn’t want you neglecting yourself for other things

you always come first, he wants you to know it the best you can

and if you’re dealing with something he would definitely wait for you and remind you it’s okay to be vulnerable and express yourself, whether or not it’s to him or your friends or close ones

chan isn’t pushy with anything and is patient/observant when it comes to your relationship and u in general

yeah! things can get difficult but chan would try his best to support you through all of it

i think overall chan would love every part of you as best as he could

and he does a pretty good job!

UHHHHH hope…hope…u enjoyed my brainrot…? check my masterlist for more and lmk if u have any feedback bc this was just me ranting ish LMFAO

[kpostedsum]

high | d.m

summary: you find an unhealthy way of coping after draco cheats on you

warnings: drug use (marijuana) angsty¿, cheating, illusions to sex

song: habits - tove lo

a/n: this fic isn’t meant to romanticize drug use in any way. i also know nothing abt weed so LOL and very rushed & not edited

masterlist | taglist

I eat my dinner in my bathtub

Then I go to sexclubs

Watching freaky people gettin' it on

It doesn't make me nervous

If anything I'm restless

Yeah, I've been around and I've seen it all

you had a few minutes left of your charms class which was your last class before the weekend. you wanted nothing more than to get out of here and cuddle up with your boyfriend— who was enjoying his free period right now.

draco was one of the best boyfriends you could ask for, the frequent dates, gifts, and attention— it was more than you could wish for.

“you’re excused. you essays are due at the beginning of next week” snapes monotone voice dragged on as you quickly packed up your things and made your way to the slytherin common room.

I get home, I got the munchies

Binge on all my Twinkies

Throw up in the tub

Then I go to sleep

And I drank up all my money

Days get kinda lonely

entering the slytherin common room your eyes immediately searched for a certain blond boy, yet he was nowhere to be found. you made your way to the boys dorms in hopes of finding him there but you’re quickly interrupted by two familiar voices.

“why hello y/n, marvellous weather we’re having today aren’t we?” theo asked looking towards the ceiling and smiling as if he were outside, blaise blocking your path as he did so.

“i’m not sure what weather you’re talking about since we’re inside but i am okay thank you” you responded with a chuckle, trying to make your way past blaise.

“wait y/n” he stopped you. “can i borrow the astronomy notes? i would ask luna but i can’t find her anywhere” blaise continued.

they both seemed awfully on edge and anxious, you figured it was just quidditch nerves getting to them since there was an upcoming game this week.

“i have yet to finish my astronomy notes, but i did see luna in the great hall if you want her notes. now if you’d excuse me i’d like to see draco” you said trying to push past the two boys who still wouldn’t let you through.

“forget malfoy! let’s do something instead, we’re so much more fun than him, right blaise?” theo said giving blaise a pointed look as he threw his arm around your shoulder.

“right you are nott, let’s go!” blaise continued also throwing his arm around your shoulder and leading you away from the boys dorm.

“what? no, i have plans with draco. now excuse me” you said pushing them both off and heading towards dracos door.

as you get closer to his door you can hear heavy breathing, pants and skin slapping on skin. you’re confused, you figured draco would be taking a nap or running over drills for quidditch practice. the closer you get, the louder the noises become.

“pans, you feel so good”

you recognize that voice anywhere.

You're gone and I gotta stay

High all the time

To keep you off my mind

Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh

High all the time

To keep you off my mind

Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh

quickly you turned your head towards blaise and theo who had their heads lowered in shame, refusing to meet your gaze. “is this some kind of sick joke, are you guys pulling a prank or something because this isn’t funny” you said seriously not wanting to believe what you’re hearing from inside of your boyfriends dorm.

“we’re sorry, we tried to convince him not too but he wouldn’t listen” theo muttered silently.

it felt like your world was breaking apart slowly. just not too long ago you were excited to spend a weekend with your boyfriend who you loved so dearly, the same boyfriend who you’ve been dating for years, the same boyfriend who gets jealous about how much time you spend with his mum rather than him.

with shaky fingers you put your hand on the door knob and quickly pushed the door open, already preparing for the worst.

there he was, wrapped up with parkinson in the same bed you two shared not even twenty-four hours ago. her body straddling his naked, just like yours was doing the night before. you stood there frozen, mouth agape— not even knowing what to do with yourself.

“baby, i can explain, just please— y/n please don’t leave” draco said pushing pansy off of him, shuffling on his pants and reaching out towards you.

“dont touch me, malfoy!” you yelled and everyone froze. “you lost the right to touch me the minute you even thought of touching her” you continued sending both him and pansy a glare with tears threatening to slip from your eyes.

“darling please, i can explain—”

“no draco, we’re done just leave me alone, please” your voice cracking at the end as you pushed past blaise and theo rushing towards the girls dormitory.

Spend my days locked in a haze

Trying to forget you babe

I fall back down

Gotta stay high all my life

To forget I'm missing you

Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh

it’s been days since you last left your room, days since you last saw draco. daphne would come by and check on you but you’d always dismiss her, wanting to be alone. regret is one word to describe how you’ve been feeling— you gave him everything and he threw it away so carelessly for a quick hook up.

you missed waking up against his smooth skin in his embrace, tracing the lines and scars across his porcelain skin as you waited for him to wake up, the way he’d try to kiss you in the morning without brushing his teeth and you wouldn’t let him because of morning breath— but he’d still do it anyways.

you missed him, but he didn’t want you anymore.

maybe it was something you’ve done, you’ve been quite busy with work recently so you haven’t been spending as much time with him as normal. he was probably lonely and trying to seek the attention you lacked to give him.

getting up, you stared at yourself in the mirror picking yourself apart. you were pretty, it was a well known fact around hogwarts, maybe he thought she was prettier. she was the life of the party and always up for some mischief whereas you preferred to do stuff in silence and would rather be with a small group of people. maybe he liked how exciting she was in comparison to you, she probably brought a spark of excitement to his life that you couldn’t.

dreading to feel something you quickly showered and got ready to leave your room hoping to run into a specific set of twins.

Pick up daddies at the playground

How I spend my daytime

Loosen up the frown,

Make them feel alive

I'll make it fast and greasy

I'm on my way to easy

“well what can we do for you today” fred said to you with a cheeky smile plastered across his face.

“do you have any muggle herb left?” you asked in a low voice making sure no one heard you.

“maybe we do, maybe we don’t” george said. “how much are you offering in exchange though” he continued.

“ten galleons for three ounces, is that enough” you said pulling the galleons out of your pockets and placing them in george’s palm.

“it was a pleasure doing business with you” they said in unison as fred placed the tiny baggie in your pocket so no one would see.

once you returned to your dormitory you quickly pulled out the pre-rolled muggle herb, lit it and let yourself forget.

You're gone and I gotta stay

High all the time

To keep you off my mind

Spend my days locked in a haze

Trying to forget you babe

I fall back down

Gotta stay high all my life

To forget I'm missing you

you started showing up to class late with red tired eyes, not caring about the looks you got. at this point every one knew what had happened but you couldn’t bring yourself to care.

the muggle herb brought you a sense of bliss and freedom, a new feeling you haven’t felt before but something that you now craved.

“are you high right now?” draco said as he sat himself in the seat beside you.

“since when do you care about what i’m doing” you said sharply, not wanting to talk with him.

“love, you don’t smoke. who gave that stuff to you, i’ll kill them—”

“no you won’t.” you said turning towards him. “you won’t do any of that because you don’t own me and i’m not your girlfriend anymore. so mind your business malfoy, i’m sure parkinson’s waiting for you”

the rest of the class you both sat in silence working on potions that draco did most of since you weren’t in the correct mind state and he wasn’t willing to let his mark falter over your slip up.

you find it amazing how even when you’re on drugs he still looks amazing. the way his nose curves perfectly with a slight bump, and the way his hands move with caution as he pours the potion into the waste bucket.

“look, i’m sorry for what happened with pansy. it didn’t mean anything i swear, i don’t know why i did it but i regret it with my life” draco said breaking your thoughts, he looked older than normal and had dark circles underneath his under eyes. you wondered why he looked so distraught when he wasn’t the one who got cheated on.

“a sorry isn’t going to fix this draco” you told him. he knew you were right but he didn’t want to admit it. he hadn’t talked to pansy since the day you walked in on them, the guilt has been eating him up inside. he stayed silent and didn’t bother respond to you, he knew anything he said would have made the situation worst than it already is— but how he wished you were still his sweet y/n.

“now if you excuse me, i have some fun to attend too” you said leaving him alone as you made your way back to your dorm.

Staying in my play pretend

Where the fun, it got no end

Can't go home alone again

Need someone to numb the pain

You're gone and I gotta stay

High all the time

To keep you off my mind

over the last few weeks, you couldn’t remember the last time you were sober. you started skipping classes to smoke and avoiding your friends so they’d stop questioning your habits.

you were forgetting and that’s all that mattered, you didn’t care how it was affecting your health— it made you feel better. sometimes you wished there was another way, another way to forget how he held you at night pressing soft kisses to your skin, another way to forget the way he took pansy the same way he took you. you wonder if he feels as sorry as he looks, he’s the one who cheated so he can’t possibly care that much.

you hear two knocks at your door which quickly break you from your state making you more attentive, cleaning yourself up and opening the door. there stood draco— his eyes red as well, like hes been crying.

“y/n listen, i know what i did was wrong and that i tried to pretend it wasn’t me but please. i didn’t mean too, you mean the world to me. i miss you so much love.” he pleaded with you.

“y’know draco, i miss you too” you admitted. “but i’ve found a way to forget about you, maybe you should do the same”.

Gotta stay high all my life

To forget I'm missing you

-

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