#but yknow. i'll put my energy where it wants to go

[crimeronan]

there's been a lot of discussion of the horror genre and story craft on my dash lately & while i've seen plenty of things i've disagreed with or had quibbles about, it HAS made me realize that part of my struggle with plotting/drafting the og fiction project has been about.... just.... sanitizing the narrative. the internal messaging of "you can't write this because no one will want it and it's bad" is so fucking strong even when i've spent FOREVER unpacking and talking about how self-policing kills creativity. whoops

like. it's a story about the ugliness of chronic illness and the brutality of exploitation and the callousness of ingrained social norms. of course it's going to be fucking ugly and brutal and callous. why am i trying to pretend that it's anything else.

[freckliedan]

how do i know if i prefer mono or poly

the only person who can answer that for you is you, anon! i am also not booksmart on polyamory; i just know things about me and people i'm in community with.

i think the answer is to ask yourself questions, and be honest with yourself about your answers? and it's ok if the answers to some of the questions are "i won't know without experience."

i'll list some questions i'd ask if i was in your shoes under the cut

do i have the capacity to find more than one person hot at the same time? to have a crush on more than one person at the same time?

those are morally neutural traits either way, and don't mean you HAVE to be poly if the answer is yes; healthy monogamy has room to acknowledge other people are hot sometimes! but basically asking yourself if you have the capacity for poly desire.

on that note: is dating and/or having sex something i enjoy and want to experience more, with more people?

this one's pretty straightforward. beyond having the capacity for poly desires, would acting on them be enjoyable? would it make you happy and enrich your life?

how would i feel about a partner finding someone else attractive? having a crush on someone else? how would i feel about a partner going on dates with or having casual sex with someone else?

does the way you feel about that change depending on the hypothetical other person's gender? does it change if the hypothetical person your partner is being romantic and/or sexual with is someone you already know? (queer relationships often begin with friendship, yknow?)

jealousy and insecurity still happen in poly relationships! knowing those may come up in some of these scenarios doesn't mean you should automatically Not Consider Polyamory. if the amount of jealousy and insecurity that would come up would make you miserable and outweigh any potential positives, polyamory might not be right for you.

but there's some beautiful emotions that come up, too—being happy that the person you love loves someone and is loved by them & finding joy in their happiness feels amazing.

i will also say: if you have negative feelings about a partner having connection with people of one gender but not another, you likely have some biphobia to unpack, and i would reccomend doing so. i don't ask this out of assumptions about you personally, but because i know it comes up with some frequency.

how do you feel about communication? is it something you enjoy? do you do your best to be proactive when you have an upset or need to talk about? do you put effort into commenting on what is positive and what you are happy about? how able are you to notice and express your needs—do you expect others to figure them out witout telling them, or do you take responsibility and ownership of where you're at?

if you don't have experience dating, you can think about your communication style in other areas of your life. you also don't have to be textbook perfect. but communication is a huge part of polyamory. i and the people i am in community with who are polyamorous all are people who love to communicate and self reflect and who have put a lot of time and energy into developing these skills! it takes a lot of talking and being honest about where you're at.

to elaborate on this with personal experience. right now i am in a romantic/sexual partnership with my husband, and a number of platonic partnerships. and three of those partnerships are in a place where we share mutual attraction we might be acting on in the next year 🤞.

knowing there's attraction there and that we might act on it is something i've talked about with those people, but also my husband, and also a couple other platonic partners of mine who i often process things with.

the conversations with my husband have been along the lines of checking in about where we both still are about polyamory in our relationship, how they might feel about my relationships with some of our friends changing, me gauging & processing my emotions, and us affirming our connection.

my conversations with friends i am blurring the line between romantic and platonic with have included:

talking a lot about how we feel about polyamory and the polyamory we are doing separately from each other

talking about what our connection at the present means to us and building a solid foundation in communication—these are people i am continually saying "i like xyz about you/us" "i appreciate abc" "this is a way i like being treated" & checking in about boundaries and needs ("is there a way i can show up for you right now?" "i'd love if ___, but choose what works for your energy level!"). it's easy to say no to or hear no from them. and that's in casual conversation every time we see each other!

talking about views on sex and bodies and attraction. me and each of these friends are on similar pages about thinking sex is cool and just another activity, and something you can share with friends. they're people who i know are proactive about safe sex, too.

being open about finding each other hot.

that lead to conversations about whether we wanted to start with kissing and maybe add more to our current dynamic, & in those conversations a few months back i said i DID want that someday, but that things were not good with my mental health and that i wanted to wait to experience that kind of change, but probably less than a year.

my conversations with other platonic partners mostly have covered: me processing where i'm at in the present with mental health concerns and how it effects the potential changes in dynamic; excitement about how much i love these friends; processing past experiences with polyamory and how they impacted my self perception in the present, reprocessing what happened in the past in the now.

that's kind of a long side tangent, but like. best example i could give of the amounts of communication that might be happening regarding a single topic?

it's not always easy? like, it takes effort. but it is rewarding, and fills my life with meaning, and choosing this for myself is how i am able to be my most authentic self, live my values, and experience the most joy.

back to the list of questions.

how do you understand and navigate consent?

i don't mean this just about sex. something i've noticed as a very helpful skillset in many of my poly friends and something i have been intentionally doing since i was a teen is actively practicing consent. valuing others' autonomy and boundaries in all day to day conversations and scenarios helps make it easier in more complex situations? here's a post that has a bunch of examples of what i mean. 

not a requirement. but do you have things to unpack around consent, or an already thriving consent practice that will make exploring polyamory easier?

on that note: how skilled are you at setting boundaries? how are you at responding to others' boundaries? how do you act when you find that that you have been wrong/hurt someone? how do you act when someone has hurt or wronged you? how do you navigate healing and repair when there is harm between you and another? how do you navigate it when nobody is in the wrong for the hurt that happened? how do you navigate it when someone is?

i find it important to ask about these communication skills in specific because like. it is inevitable in all relationships that sometimes you get hurt and hurt others! often we do not know something will hurt us or our partner until it has happened: we're all continually learning.

there are many, many new experiences to be had with polyamory! which is awesome, but also means there are many situations in which someone might realize they are hurt and need to communicate that. will you be able to navigate your own & others' hurt in a way that strengthens connections? will you be able to identify what a relationship-ending hurt or pattern of hurts looks like?

where are you at regarding trust, security, insecurity and jealousy in relationships? have you been hurt in the past in ways that make trust and security a challenge for you? do you feel able to reach out for affirmation when you feel insecure? how do you process jealousy when it comes up? how do you navigate all of these things when a partner experiences them?

equally important to communication imo. i am an extremely unjealous person so can't speak much on this? when i experience jealousy i view that as my heart notifying me of a potential need. "i am jealous that person A is doing something with someone else" = "i want/need more connection with person A, or to communicate about expectations i maybe haven't expressed, or to talk about how comfortable i am hearing in detail about their other connections".

how are your scheduling skills, if you start having a Lot of connections? how much free time do you have to share? if you're currently in a relationship or have an idea of what mono relationships look like, are you (& your partner, if you have one) prepared for that to change in the future?

it might not just be about how you spend your time. sexual boundaries might change; if you and your partner are interested in one romantic connection but starting to explore casual sex, and you've not been using any std protection because you're committed monogamously—what do best sexual health practices look like moving forward? if you're looking for multiple romantic connections, how are you going to navigate social functions (family events, work events) where you maybe can only bring one partner?

are you open to platonic partnerships? what would that look like to you? how would that be different from friendship or best friendship?

not a requirement! but a part of polyamory to me. my platonic partners are people i love and share commitment, emotional intimacy, decisionmaking and a lot of material resources with, and who i prioritize and who prioritize me in return. not sharing sex or romance doesn't make it a less important connection to me. this isn't a part of everyone's polyamory though!!!

what do you think polyamory looks like? if you know there's more than one type, what do you think fits you the best? do you believe in hierarchy? is marriage important to you?

there are so many different ways polyamory can look. i am mostly familiar with relationship anarchy (oppsed to hierarchy) and can't really speak at length about other forms. if relationship anarchy is right for you, how do you square with the fact that we live in a hierarchical society? you can only marry one person. there's benefits, but how does attaining legal legitimacy with one connection impact your others? do you plan on having kids?

what does a rich and beautiful life full of meaningful connections and partnerships look like to you? what parts of monogamy and monogamous culture are a part of your life only because you feel like they have to be? are there parts you would choose away from? parts you would choose to keep?

not all poly relationships are equal triads, though i think that's a popular conception! people don't always choose to live with all or any of their partners—solo poly is a thing!

there's a general conception of what building relationship commitment and intimacy looks like in monogamous relationships; dating, sleeping together, meeting friends and family, living together/becoming financially involved, pets, marriage, kids. being the single most inportant person in one another's lives & meeting all of each other's needs.

some people unpack whether this idea of how relationships function and what is significant to them when they figure out they're not straight, and some people don't. polyamory as i know it exists in direct opposition to the idea that you should have one other partner who is the most significant person in your life and who meets all of your needs.

so figuring out what you genuinely desire and what your life can look like if you live it that way—even if the answer for you is not polyamory? i think it's worth it. having a strong community outside of a romantic partner even before i realized i was poly was one of the best things in my life—i have never believed the one person who's everything idea.

you super don't have to have an answer to all of those questions to start trying things. these are just some more specific things you can think about. and very importantly: starting to explore polyamory does not require the strengths you might develop over time if you find it is right for you.

for emphasis on the not having to know thing:

my path to figuring out i was polyamorous was. learning in a sociology class about poly activists fighting for marriage equality/separating the contracts marriage is and being able to share them with more than one person. going "i love my partner but would marry all of my super close friends i wish i could live with if it was legal". having a several month breakdown questioning if i was in love with all of my friends, including a lot of crying to landslide (glee version) in my car while writing questionable poetry parked at the beach.

me and my partner having been on the same page re: celebrity hypotheticals (if famous person asked me out, what would you do? be happy you were happy, i just would still want to be in your life. maybe watch 😳) for a while. us realizing we both had crushes on our best friend bc we both had sexy dreams about them & talked abt it with each other. assessing that odds were good it was mutual. asking him out.

so basically. the only things i was for sure on at that point were my capacity for the desire, opposition to hierachical relationships & the idea that one person should be your everything, and commitment to treating the people i cared about well. none of us knew what we were doing.

we dated for a year, broke up bc external circumstances were making it impossible for our relationship to thrive and that was the option that would let us keep our friendship, and then moved in together a year after that. all while coworkers. very messy path but he's still one of both of our best friends & family to both of us so. it worked for us.

also, for fun, some of what in retrospect were baby poly experiences i had:

in fandoms, not really getting most ship wars/being way more down to multiship than a lot of fans around me

after first being exposed to poly ships, just really enjoying them and seeking them out, for smut fics but also for relationship focused fics. for no particular reason

thinking it's very stupid that most people treat romance as a tier above friendship, and living that value while dating. (being intentional about prioritizing a couple of close friendships equally to my romantic partnership)

wanting to live in a group setting with the friends i was closest with and wanted to grow old with

i know this is just fifty more questions for you to think about. and i really want to shout it that you don't have to have answers to these questions to start trying things!!!!! trying things is one of the best ways to discover yourself!!!!!!!! but i hope that i've given you things to think about that help you evaluate where you're at?

good luck!

[aracelysdelusion]

Kaveh strikes me as someone who is just desperately trying to avoid being a protagonist. Like, even canonically, yknow?? The fact that he just so happened to be away when everything suddenly went tits up in Sumeru?? Alhaitham being like “where were you when Sumeru needed you most?” Like! Hiding! Hiding from being the protagonist! And then later on during the Inter Darshan Championship, when he won the competition and was getting possessed by the Diadem, Sacchin was like “I’ve been searching for many years for a successor, and I’ve FINALLY found one, it’s YOU” and in response Kaveh fucking smashes the Diadem because he is NOT having this protag shit. And finally the fact that Nahida herself says that Kaveh’s ideal of Wisdom and stuff is literally PERFECT?? He’s got so much protagonist energy and he’s doing everything he can to avoid it. So goddamn funny I love this guy

ONE HUNDRED PERCENT LIKE bro is just tryna live his life alhaitham is all "ohhh the sages are corrupt and that puts my comfortable job at risk so im gonna fuckinf fix shit on my own" LIKE BRO??? THATS MAIN CHARCATER SHIT??? I'M NOT TRYNA BE ON THAT. like bro fr dodged a bullet chilling in the desert while shit went south. He does NOT want to be the main character!!!

i think i can say this because i changed this part of aiug lore but oh my god that quote of nahida saying kaveh having an almost perfect grasp of what sumeru being a nation of wisdom means had such an impact on the old lore i had in mind like thats some real shit right there.

on a similar note, I FINISHED CHAPTER FIVE GUYS GO READ IT ITS LIKE 20K WORDS LONG CAUSE ALHAITHAM THINKS TOO MUCH. hopefully i'll finish chapter six in time to post it before my birthday in less than two weeks but we'll see!? I have higher hopes for finishing chapter 6 sooner cause kaveh is wayyyyyy fucking easier to write than haitham

[snugglesquiggle]

i feel a lil bad asking this right when a lot of people are excited for hostile takeover, but for financial reasons, i might need to start putting some of my energy into more serious original projects again.

i'm not pausing HT — i don't think i could stop thinking about those lezbots if i tried — but being able to take breaks to work on other things tends to be good for my energy levels in general.

and honestly, when i first started, i thought HT itself was just going to be a quick break from those projects, and now i'm four months in and my plans keep growing >.>

anyway, the purpose of this post is that i wanted to gauge interest. i know most people follow me for murder drones stuff, but do any of the original stories i'm considering interest you?

more detailed pitches for each of these can be found under the cut. honesty is appreciated.

a note before i pitch them — when i write original fiction, i post it to my site and a site for original fiction called royalroad. i'll probably reserve my ao3 account for, yknow, fanfiction.

the plan is that while the stories will eventually be available publically, supporters to my patreon will get to read several chapters ahead of everyone else.

Aurora Moonrise

It is the nature of comets to dazzle and destroy. These eldritch spirits from beyond the stars grind kingdoms to dust with joyful ease. Only the power of a daughter of the moon can repel them. There are none left. Aurora knows she is different. Her father is a plain man, and her mother is a mystery. Her prismatic hair, her divergent mind, her inability to weave common enchantments — it must come from her mother's side. But her mother is gone and no one will say why or where or anything. It's enough to make her want to fight someone. And Aurora fights — people, animals, spirits, it doesn't matter. She doesn't want to hurt them, but it's thrilling. She'll just have to become a knight — knights get to fight things, right? And knights get answers to who their parents were. When a cursed storm leaves Aurora glowing in the light of the full moon, she awakens new powers she can't control. Powers unheard of, except in those old stories. But the word on the lips of churchmen is witchcraft — communion with unnatural spirits that spells doom. Will she defend humanity? Or is she a threat to it?

pitching this one is hard, because the most interesting thing about is a twist reveal at the end of the first arc. at first, you can see it's framed to suggest — and Aurora initially believes — her mother is a "daughter of the moon", but of course, she's actually a comet.

as the poll option suggests, her inhuman heritage makes urges her to fight and hinders her ability to understand the basics of human social interaction.

this would be a long story, lighter in tone than the others, and structured like a fantasy trilogy, about Aurora journeying across the land doing what she thinks heroes do. along the way, she picks up several party members with their own weird baggage. all of them girls, of course, and it gets very gay by the end — but it's slow going because, yknow, aurora doesn't understand romance, either.

i'm very excited about this project — just thinking about it is enough to get me bouncing. you can actually read a four chapter teaser right now, and i have over 70k words of notes past that, with the whole thing outlined start to finish.

Thy Wretched Mask

Everyone wants to peel off their skin and scream into the night. You're just supposed to keep a handle on that. Beca's trying. Now on the run, she'll just have to get it right in a new town. She's got nothing to her name save a pet raven, but a little pickpocketing will change that. Maybe a burglary or two. As long as she doesn't tear someone's flesh apart in broad daylight, she could keep things controlled. It's a lonely life, but friendship is only temptation. She should just keep to herself. So why does she listen when the woman from the shadows talks? They're making an offer that could lift her off the streets for good. The catch? She has to kill someone. Again. That's definitely too much temptation.

once again, the most interesting parts of this are a surprise. Beca isn't human; she's saddled predatory instincts she doesn't understand. the "fungal possession" comes into play several chapters in. it gets intense enough that i believe it's one of the few times i've teared up while writing something, and it's so far the first and only time i've written something that explores topics of plurality, which is pretty personal to us

i say HT is the first time i've written romance (and it is), but TWM came close, and would have gotten even closer if i continued it.

i've already written over 20k words of this (unpublished), but due to the writing exercise it began as, it requires substantial rewrites; i cringe when i try to reread it, and it honestly makes the prospect of returning a bit unexciting.

this would probably only about the length of a novel. (original projection was novella length, but i think i want to flesh it out more.)

of all of my potential projects, i think this one is probably the biggest thematic overlap with Hostile Takeover. but uh, it's dark enough to make that look like a sappy romance >.<

Running Out of Skin & Time

Tomorrow, a lord will be flayed alive. Once his flesh, freely given, is woven into a vast frame, enchanted scars will turn him into a living portal, a gift that could turn a blightstricken town into a bustling trade nexus. Apnoe has woken up beside the same dead girl three nights in a row. The lord's flaying is tomorrow — same as it was for the last three nights. She's the only one who's noticed. Assassins lurk in the flaying festival's crowds, and when they strike the lord dead, the whole town watches their dreams crumble, and then Apnoe wakes again as if from a dream. She knew this quite well; on the first night, she had killed him. Scarred flesh grants magic. How deep a wound did it take to make every living soul in the city relive the same day? It wasn't Apnoe's, and she doesn't know why only she remembers, but then again, most scar magic treats her differently. After all, she's dead half the time. Apnoe would kill to end this nightmare — but it seems the only way out is saving a man who'll die tomorrow anyway.

of all the options, this story is the least well flesh out (no pun intended), but it has a lot of potential. a "time loop" where a character relives the same day over and over is something not enough stories explore well

(if it means anything to you, the inspiration for this fic was literally just thinking "what if the Shibuya Incident was a time loop?")

i call this "superhero fantasy" because, while i havent figured out the tech level (it's industrial, but how modern?), the magic system gives everyone unique and specific abilities that are easiest to imagine as superpowers.

the time loop effect itself is the rube goldberg interaction of half a dozen powers, and part of the fic is puzzling out just how it works, as well as puzzling out how to overcome the various powers arrayed against the lord.

it would be a very complex, cerebral fic, all about power progression and fight scenes, but at its heart, i want it to be the story of two dead girls who love each other enough to unravel fate itself

A Chimerical Hope

Duskroot is destroyed. A minor stronghold, its enemies were cunning and coordinated and its allies didn't lift a hand. As vultures at a corpse, mercenaries hunt for survivors. Awelah escaped Duskroot. She lost everything. Vengeance drives her, but can she kill a angel beyond death? Ooliri's mission is to aid the refugees. He has to prove he belongs in a family of medical geniuses. But healing isn't enough — can he bring the dead back to life? Makuja seeks safety among the refugees. Death and servitude leaves her gaze empty. It's easy to be a follower, but is there a purpose worth living for? First, the three need answers. A grand scheme is unfolding, and Duskroot was only the first step.

unlike all of the others, this isn't an idea for a story, or a plan for a story, it is a story, one i've written 100k words for. you can read it here

it's set in an expansive setting i've spent literal years thinking about with giant insects empowered by virulent mutant bat blood and cold black corruption pouring out from a hole in the sky.

it's also, shamelessly, only avoids being called naruto fanfiction by dint of sheer weirdness

Aurora Moonrise may be the story i'm most excited about, but ACH is the one with the most ambition and purpose behind it. if i could only ever tell one story in my life, it'd probably make it ACH. it might be over a million words if i ever finish it

but i also think it's probably too weird to get very popular.

And so on

if you can't tell already, i have a LOT of story ideas. before i ever watched murder drones, would you believe i was literally already working on a story about killer lesbian robots on a inhospitable frozen planet haunted by a creeping cosmic horror?

and i'm kind of tempted to work on a story about modular mushroom creatures that live underground. or a fricken pokemon mystery dungeon self-insert i've already finished one chapter of.

and of course, i have several other stories i could continue working on.

but like, the stories i've listed are the ones i can honestly say i might work on right now. and, practically speaking, the stories that might genuinely takeoff, if i dare hope.

[sinfulforrest]

gonna put this under a cut, mentions of strokes and hospital things and just a general cry into the void jdmfm

on Saturday I found my dad having a stroke, like a really really bad one, and honestly the sight I saw will never leave my head I think, I've calmed down a lot since everything transpired and he got taken away to a stroke specialist hospital to get treated, but today is gonna be the first time I go up to the hospital with my mum to see him and im just really nervous about it

I just don't even really know what to say, yknow? I have so much I wanna say but I can't really, the poor bloke is still extremely weak and drowsy from the operation that he had and all the meds and just the fatigue you get when you suffer from shit like that, and I'm also pretty scared that he might not want me or my lil bro to see him in this state, he's one of those guys that cannot show weakness in front of people and absolutely despises bein weak and vulnerable (wonder where I get that from...), and honest to god I think it'd kill me if he got upset with me and my bro

I worry about money cause my dad has a great paying job, whilst the rest of us earn pennies in comparison tbh, because if he gets permanently paralysed then I very very much doubt he'll be able to go back to work, so I'm fuckin praying that when he gets to the physiotherapy and speech therapy side of things that it can help and he can push through like the stubborn ol bastard that I know he is

I just hate that there's nothing really anybody can do, we'll have to wait a good six weeks or so to see what the scale of the damage is on my dad's brain and how much of a hike it'll be for him to get back to a livable state. I just pray to whatever god is out there that he can walk and talk properly again as time goes on, I really miss him not being here swearing his head off and being a grump and it just feels really wrong without his presence bein here

I'm gonna do my best to support my mum and bro though, it's starting to hit my mum a lot now so I'm gonna try and stay strong for her and be optimistic about things. I'll defo be comfort doodlin a lot in the coming weeks I reckon when I regain my energy and can sleep properly, it won't be much but I think that'll help take my mind away from things for a little bit

I think I might reblog this later once I've seen my dad and write my feelings n how it went here too, so if you don't wanna see me clog up your feed just block my tag stuff I guess

make sure to tell your loved ones that you love em, you lot, you never know when horrid shit like this will come outta the blue and sweep em away from you

[bahamutgames]

Super Afterthoughts RPG

Game: Super Mario RPG (November 17, 2023)

Console: Nintendo Switch

Hello hello! It's late at night, and I'm trying to get myself to write up my thoughts on some games again! I've got a few to get through. But this one in particular I've been holding off on for a good minute. Because... well... the original game is my favorite game of all time! It's hard to really put my thoughts about my favorite game ever to words so easily. Plus, I only want to write about it while I'm in a good mood. So this one may be written over the course of a few days.

I still remember when this game was a huge rumor for what felt like AGES. It was kind of will they wont they between remaking it or just slapping it onto NSO. I'm still, honestly, in a bit of disbelief it got a full from the ground up remake for modern consoles. But, I'm very happy to say, it's here! And it's real! And this game I love and adore so much is back! And that makes me very happy!

Now, I think this is the first remake I'll be talking about on here. And since it's a remake of a game I'm OBSESSED with. I'll probably not go into intense detail about why I love Super Mario RPG. You already know what I like about it (EVERYTHING) and what I dislike about it (NOTHING). Instead, I'll try to focus on what I think made this such a nice remake for a super fan of the game like me!

As always, this isn't a review! Just my thoughts after having beaten it! PLEASE PLEASE PLEEEEEEASE play this game yourself if it interests you!!

SPOILERS FOR SUPER MARIO RPG REMAKE!! INCLUDING SPOILERS FROM THE ORIGINAL AND NEW STUFF IN THE REMAKE!!

Opening

So, like I said before. Super Mario RPG is my favorite video game of ALL TIME. Not just RPG, not just Mario game, not just one of my favorites. I'm talking #1 favorite game EVER! I played it waaaaay back in middle school a good long time ago and it really just got to me. There's so much I absolutely adore about this game!

So when the remake was announced, needless to say I was pretty excited. Even if I was... a little apprehensive. Mostly just concerned they may mess it up. Or they may not understand what made the original so magical. It was a big concern because, yknow, the game had been gone for so long with absolutely no attention.

But I'll go ahead and spare you the suspense now: this is an amazing remake. And it not only lived up to, but exceeded my expectations that I had for it. So I'm very excited to finally sing its praises!

Stuff I liked

This is a REALLY faithful remake. Pretty much nothing is lost across the translation with very few exceptions. The remake manages to bring over so much of what made the original so good while updating it in very nice ways. The graphics? AMAZING! I seriously love how cute the game looks, and how it still keeps a similar style to sprites while updating them. Like it's not afraid to respect the original's look (WHICH LOOKS GREAT, BY THE WAY, THE ORIGINAL LOOKS AMAZING TO ME!!!) but knows that it's okay to tune up where it may be needed. Very few characters don't make a particularly great transition over (like, I can count them on my hand). The areas all look WONDERFUL and they manage to keep the same playful energy and don't lose much from the original. Plus, being full 3D really does help with some platforming challenges and the 3D maze puzzle imo. I imagine this will help a LOT of newcomers out.

The updated soundtrack is GREAT!! Some of my favorite songs are seriously redone absolutely AMAZINGLY here. My personal favorites being Fight Against Smithy, Who Likes Transforming and Dreams Through Window Stars. Both of which are done so wonderfully. But, hey, you also have access to the original soundtrack! Which is SUCH a nice touch! But it was genuinely lovely hearing some new takes on songs I thought I may never see again in an official capacity.

Then there's the gameplay, which is fairly similar to the original, yeah. But I think that's still reason to sing its praise! They've brought the combat over really nicely, and despite adding some things to make it easier, the game is still fun and isn't made too easy. Which was a concern I had between them showing when to time action commands as well as having the shock wave effects AND giving you stat boosts when you build up proper action command combos. Despite doing all this, I actually think they managed to balance the game out nicely. Maybe I'm crazy but I do feel like enemy parties are consistently larger and have more health to compensate. So it all works very well. And of course, I'd be beside myself if I didn't bring up my favorite change: THE TEAM ATTACKS! This was such an unneeded change, they didn't have to give this HUGE bit of fanservice, but I'm SO thankful they did!! I ADORE crossover attacks between teammates in RPGs, it's a shamefully underused concept and is one of the reasons I consider Chrono Trigger to still be one of the GOAT RPGs. So to know my favorite game ever would be getting this feature? That was HUGE, and it delivered!! I really loved this and it added a new dynamic to the team composition and made me wanna try out some of the other characters more and not JUST Mario, Geno, Mallow lol.

I'm actually REALLY surprised at how much is left in tact. Sure, some things were changed like small effects, the names, and no Black Jack. But it is a SHOCKINGLY faithful remake all around. Even including stuff like Beetle Mania or the secret menu codes. And polishing stuff up like no missable chests. And all the new stuff they added is WONDERFUL! It's pretty exciting they added in boss rematches as I think that's something a lot more games could benefit from. With the best one obviously being Culex's rematch for so many reasons. But I do think I have to say that the fully animated cutscenes are hands down the absolute BEST addition to the game. Having cool intros to each boss is absolutely DELIGHTFUL, having a nice prerendered scene for each teammate's introduction RULES. But in particular, the way they animate the final cutscene floored me. If you don't know, the scene of the whole team on Vista Hill watching Exor fade away is one of my favorite shots in video game history. I SCREAMED when I saw it got a fully animated cutscene. It was AMAZING! And the credits were so cute with it looking how it did on the SNES. I called it IMMEDIATELY that the graphics would update for the second half lol.

But of course, the best new cutscene. Hands down. Is the finale. This particularly blew me away. The original's ending is one of my favorites, I have extremely fond memories of watching it in Geno cosplay when I was in middle school (I came home from a con and immediately finished it lol) and just cry at the The End screen. So when a cutscene started up here I freaked out. It was SO cute, and having them actually include Bowser and Mallow was such a wonderful touch. It was cute, it was beautiful, it was emotional. And it really capped off the remakes' whole feelings of "wow... it really came back." I don't know how to describe it properly but hopefully you understand what I'm feeling lol.

Stuff I didn't like

Now... I am of course a bit of an obsessive fan over this game. So I had a few complaints about it. MOST OF IT NITPICKS!! Yes. There's not THAT much to complain about. I think some enemies don't look perfect this time around, I think it's really frustrating that they STILL don't let you have all the star pieces when you pause the menu after beating the game despite actually having post game content, and perhaps the worst of all. I HATE that they removed the card suit icons from each character. Does it really matter? Well... No. But it's such an iconic part of the original to me that I can't help but still feel a little burnt that it wasn't included. That's like, crucial Super Mario RPG imagery in my mind.

Also, am I crazy, or does every enemy in this remake put you to sleep? Maybe I'm misremembering but I don't remember having to wake my teammates up this much EVER in the original, but I felt like I was waking them up every other battle this time. Particularly during Valentina which I died to a shocking amount lol.

However, the big real disappointment of this remake to me personally? Is the new post game content. Honestly I would've been fine with maybe just some new cutscenes or something. But when they said it would be boss rematches I was pleasantly excited! And I know I complimented them earlier but can I be honest?? Dude those rematches SUCK. Like, I think I enjoyed one of them. They're all really gimmicky, like Booster's ends super fast and Johnny requires you to play it 100% perfectly. It's just not fun and honestly didn't feel like the most exciting post game content possible. At least to me. Regardless though how they handled Culex and his rematch is PERFECT. Going through the less than stellar rematches is genuinely worth it because I think the Culex rematch is so good. So there is that.

Final Thoughts

BUT, regardless? This was a truly amazing remake. And a genuinely wonderful return to this world that I'd completely given up on ever seeing again. Not to be melodramatic, but I will be. Yeah I had kinda started to give up and not care about this anymore. I had made peace that Mario RPGs were just... over. That's the way it was, Geno isn't gonna be in Smash, this game will never get any new content. It was done. But, to my surprise. I was wrong. And the remake did come. And no matter what happens now. At least this did happen and I got to see these characters again. I think this remake it amazing for ANYONE. If it's your first time, or if you've played the original too many times. You will LOVE this remake and have a great time with it. It feels like it was made by people who not only knew what made the original magical, but loved it and poured all that love in it. There's even more great stuff I could give it props for. I feel like I want to keep talking about every little thing this remake did so nicely. The polish to the psychopath collecting, how good the enemies look, how lovely the maps look. But honestly I would just be here forever. Super Mario RPG is my favorite game of all time and I'm so happy to see so many people get to experience it for the first time now.

===

That's all I got. I feel like I want to say more. But I think that's all I can say right now about this game. But before I go I did want to speak on my thoughts about Mario a little more.

So, I've been a Mario fan my whole life. Super Mario World was my first game ever, and I've been a devoted fan for years since. Mario was my life. I was obsessed with Mario lore and drawing every single Mario thing I possibly could and just gushing about everything I adored about the series. With the RPGs at the heart of it. I LOVED and ADORED the Mario RPGs, they made my life and inspired me so much.

But a while back, something kinda changed. I'm sure you already know, but the Mario RPGs kinda. Died? Like, they were still being made obviously. But the secondary Paper Mario Trilogy, even though I don't HATE them persay, were just not what I wanted and ultimately I don't really like them. Then Paper Jam happened and I personally really disliked it even in spite of having good combat. Then the M&L remakes which are cool but... Still not perfect and clearly troubled. My favorite games and types of games ever. Just... died? Out of nowhere. And then a lot of side series Mario stuff kinda dragged. DK dried up. Wario was kinda becoming eh around Gold. Luigi's Mansion 3 sucked. And even though the main series was still killing it imo. I just fell out of love with Mario. And I honestly kind of felt myself falling out of love with a lot of things at this time.

And originally, this section was gonna end on a pretty bummer note. But a lot has changed since I started writing this. Thousand Year Door got a remake randomly and it's looking amazing. And now Mario & Luigi is suddenly returning with a brand new entry that... LOOKS AMAZING!! And that's not even to mention Mario Rabbids which completely knocked it out of the park with Sparks of Hope. Mario RPGs... are seemingly back?

I've talked about this at length before but I didn't really want to get my hopes up because of remakes. Sure, of course you can still make a good turnbased Mario RPG with good combat and progression if you just redo the good ones. But could Nintendo still do a NEW one with good turnbased Mario RPG combat and progression? NOT UBISOFT!! Not a strategy RPG, a TURNBASED RPG. And well, it looks like with Brothership we may actually get to see. Yeah it all might be riding on M&L's shoulders again. But with everything going on, suddenly it doesn't feel stupid to hope I can enjoy these games again. Mario spinoffs all over seem to be back in action with Peach and Dark Moon HD. DK might come back now that Prime 4 is wrapping up. The Mario Movie rocked imo and the main series games are only looking more hopeful after how good Bowser's Fury was.

I still did want to make a little bit of a sad point in that. I don't think I'm back into the Mario Fanbase at large. I still consider it to be very poisonous as it was a huge reason why I fell out of love with Mario. And I still see that. When this and TTYD got announced my feeds were filled with insanely negative posts about how much everyone hates Mario RPGs and shit (I learned my lesson I'm trying not to read Brothership tweets but I've already had to mute some stuff lol), I still get clowned on for liking some of these games in spaces where I thought liking them was the point, and people still send me Geno hate posts thinking I'll like them because... Well, being a Mario fan seems to mean you have to hate this series and be insanely contrarian and trying to make bait posts to make people upset. I still see it constantly. And it's discouraging. And I don't like seeing it. So I don't know if I really have interest in being a part of the "Mario Fanbase" so to speak. Cause even if I'm crazy and I'm just too sensitive I don't think it's healthy for me to be getting this upset over a series meant to be particularly joyful.

BUT... and I can't believe I'm saying this. Yeah... It's looking good to be a Mario fan again. I may be falling back in love with the series. Again, I'm not entirely impressed with amazing remakes that bring me to tears with the level of quality... I still want something new to prove they can truly do it again. SO I'll be keeping a close eye on Brothership. But again, suddenly it doesn't feel stupid to have hope.

That's all I got. Go out and play your favorite video game of all time!

[corntort]

OK POLARITY THOUGHT INFO DUMP

bear in mind lectro can't really sing Super Well he just challenged void because it'd be fun and he can still hold a rhythm. he just wants to kinda riff off of voids (quite literal) supernatural ability to sing incredibly quickly and with actual pitch and melody.

he's generally really competitive and just wants to see what the guy is made of! obviously void sees this as kind of an insult because. well she's void. that's just how it's gonna be

at around 0:56 is when void kind of makes it apparent he's gonna take this seriously. there's no other way he will take it. and void kinda goes "eh... i meant to just have fun.... but yknow what? i'll match your energy. sure. let's get Serious bud!"

1:50 is where the seriousness reaches it's peak. lectro, while he cant sing, he is a lyrical genius and can rap off the top of his head really good, whereas void can struggle on the lyrical front a little but can hold a tune very well and this is where theyre REALLY IN IT. void to the point of almost getting heated enough to start growing instable. lectro, noticing this, puts an end to it at 2:25, which leads me to my next point!

2:25 is where lectro offers a kind of musical peace offering, singing to void the leitmotif to event horizon, to which in void's opinion is his most prized work. to kinda imply "hey, i'm a fan of your work! this battle has only made me more impressed with your skill!

with this void kind of snaps out of it, singing his melody back to him with his usual ego back in full swing, going back to his usual smug facade

void then sings his other leitmotif (also from event horizon) to kinda test lectro, and of course lectro does know it, he is actually an admirer but in more of a "i understand your skill and style" kind of way

this loosens void up the most with this, and then he starts actually having fun with lectro, starting to kind of admire him and both appreciate his knowledge of his own music. obviously. he has to get the ego stroke first

after that it just is a fun little battle! theyre both obviously still competing but its just fun jabs and playing off eachothers style

3:12 is when they just ramp up the fun, when void starts letting loose and singing those higher notes, ruffling his hair and letting himself get lost in the tunes (that doesn't go unnoticed by lectro) so when lectro repeats his notes and song its just a good ol time

when that verse ends theyre just circling eachother and riffing and dancing along to the music and getting up close and personal but not as a challenge just as a sense of comraderie and giving into the joy and the moment

void starts deeming this a good point to wrap up, reprising his event horizon motif to end it off on the best note he can (and OBVIOUSLY what better way to end it off than a modified motif from his own music? duh?) lectro obviously happy to oblige

he remixes the tune more, while still keeping the essence the same to end the song off with a nice final verse, and lectro joining in for a final duet with a shared long note, that void cuts himself off to leave lectro singing by himself, where when it clicks he's singing alone he lets out a sudden choked laugh, and the song is done!

as i said before im not super keen on crossover aus (i really like stories standing on their own, finding their own strengths through itself) but this song is really good i couldn't help the urge. and i love lectro and im a void kinnie so WHO CARES!

[ev-n-learning]

2023 year stats!!! Wow its been a year since ive shown u one of these... amazing

anyways not too much to say here i don't think! Although can you believe its been almost a year since i stopped learning ukrainian.... weird

something thats interesting to me is that i've spent more time on czech this past year than ukrainian the year previous... and just on duolingo, somehow?! There's no way I'm 2 months away from finishing the czech tree!!!

I suppose the courses could have been different lengths to start out with, but I do blame the redesign they did... I still don't like it, lol. (Other factors could be: czech has No Cyrillic so i cant read it as well)

As far as the other languages go — I really can't believe it was only this year I finished 50languages?! Year so long... but anyways, after that i will be honest with you: most of my active belarusian studying has been solely anki and (mostly) daily search of the wordle. The other most is People I Follow On Tumblr and tiktok (theres belarusians on there)

Russian is about the same as I've been doing. Slogging through 5,000 words of top 10,000 on memrise still. Probably about 2,500 of the way through. Probably at LEAST 2 more years of slog...

Maybe it doesn't serve much of a purpose, but i'd feel weird having the extra time. Like, no, i'm supposed to be Doing Something at 14:45,,, and, yknow, sometimes i encounter these words in the wild. (Not so much anymore though)

Doing my best to keep up with polygloss for russian, too! It's fun but I never know how to describe the images so a lot of matches get sent into the ether... oops 😅

As for marathi, well................................. nanowrimo happened. Is putting it shortly - actually, I started doing something else in november, and with that, languages, and nano... it was a lot! So I did not do much marathi in november specifically because of that. The rest of the year, well... hmmm. The less said the better?

Well, anyways, it's because of having to spend the same amount of energy almost on czech at the same time, *and* because of the Something Else i've been doing. So - I do want to learn it! Spending time on marathi would be great, actually! I am just Busy. And thus it has been relegated to anki only for the better part of the year if i remember right 😔 someday...

Sidenote, at the rate I'm typing this will be posted after midnight..... well, i wanted to put it out there yesterday night, but i couldn't decide what to say, lol. January 2nd is still New of new years, right??

To be honest, I haven't really thought about any language plans for this year... i know russian and belarusian well enough to read posts & such, and I have the mental fortitude to read books i understand maybe 25% of, but listening and talking I'd say are probably where I need the most improvement. (Writing, well... I'll get back to you once i can learn grammar effectively). With everything as it is now, I'm not sure there's much to be done about that, but maybe I'll figure something out here sooner or later... maybe.

I know I want to finish the czech tree on duolingo, and then I'll pick another language from my duo list and the cycle shall begin anew... and then in 12 years either duo will be dead or i will not wish to learn languages any more (a scary thought). OR i will speedrun every language on my list to the best of my ability and then never touch duo again (no streak, no badges... i think monthly badges are like the Only duo thing that actually works on me because i Need To Collect. ah, fomo...)

As for marathi, if I can manage to pull it out of hibernation alongside all that duolingo nonsense, then by god i'll do it 🫡 if i learned* one language by being exceedingly slow at it I can do it again!!

*referring to russian so perhaps its not accurate to say "learned" still but my point stands

...

Anyways yeah!!! Idk how to end this so з новым годам (late) to u all and good luck & wishes for the new year <3 things may never be perfect but at least i can hope they will be better 👍 🎉🎉🎉

[suugrbunz]

hi girly!!

1. love love your stuff

2. hope you’re doing well fr

3. could i pls request a bob ship?

appearance wise i’m 5’5 with an average build. ngl i’m a little heavy on the top iykwim so my back always hurts fr. LOL anyways i have blue/green eyes and brown hair that has like goldfish highlights in the sun. i’m half asian half white so do with that what you will. i’m pretty pale honestly oh and my hair is long, like almost to my butt long. id like to think i have a nice smile lol and i love making a pouty face, it’s just so fun.

personality wise i’m an ENFP-T so i’m naturally extroverted and outgoing. i make friends wherever i go and i’m a great people person. i can hold conversations with really anyone and people always tell me i’m very mature and good with adults and older people. i’m also a 2w3 so i tend to be a bit of a people pleaser. i naturally am drawn to leadership positions and taking charge but when i do i often over extend myself trying to accommodate everyone and their every need. i am a generally funny person. sometimes i make a joke that goes too far but i love making others laugh. i also am always complimenting people. i can be insecure myself but i love making others feel good.

i can get into a mood very easily tho. i do my best to hide it but i am very busy so i am not always the greatest in the morning and if i spend too much time around certain people i get cranky. i don’t snap nearly as much as i used too but my friends can tell when something’s off. i hate getting in those moods where im sulking but it happens sometimes. usually after some joking around or spending time with other people i snap out of it. what can i say im stubborn.

i love being involved in school. student council, SPIRIT WEEK, choir, clubs— all that jazz. i’m a pretty good student yk like i have a good rep at school and am pretty well known. i am also a theater kid. i know im sorry. i have been singing for a really long time and it’s like my thing.

i love you sing, dance, act, read, write, listen to music, shop, and spend time with people. my love language is for sure quality time but i do love words of affirmation. i often get called an “old soul” because i am very sentimental with old school values and i am drawn to anything 40s-90s. i am a die hard 80s music and movie fan and my friends think it’s funny im so obsessed with the classics (if you couldnt tell i am a history and english nerd, my close friend calls me her “favorite history buff”) but yeah i love spending time with others. me and my dad bond over watching movies together and listening to music and you bet im the life of the party wherever i go. always the first to do or initiate something, jumping onto the dance floor first and being the last too leave — i don’t like missing out so i take all the chances i can.

anyways i hope that’s enough info and i’m sorry if that’s too much or i rambled. honestly id be grateful if you even read up to this point. if you get a chance to write a ship i would really appreciate it but if not i totally understand!! no pressure whatsoever. thank you bestie boo :)💛💛

I've not felt quite that happy in the past week for numerous reasons. I think with time I'll be fine. Dumb memories, yknow? I know what you mean I'm heavy on top as well lmao. I like the way you speak. You seem really exciting. Thanks for the request

here's your ship!! (🚢)

꒰ I ship you with . . . Floyd Talbert ৎ୭ ꒱

A mutual friend decided to hold a party that was themed to a 1950s sock hop. Dancing to 1950s music was an ideal situation for you especially with the fashion you'd dawn. It seems absolutely perfect, right?

In the corner of the dance hall, he kept glancing at your. Sure, he could probably dance with anyone he'd want to but he had formed a soft spot for you. Even if he didn't know you. Something about your energy was so lovely.

He fell from the start, something about you was... Well, he couldn't put his finger on it but he knew you two were meant to have a relationship... Even if he has some red flags (he comes off a bit player-ish but it's ok)

Your first date is shortly after your first meeting; The way you two met was romantic and by the end of the night had been obviously flirting. So, he asked for your number and when it'd be best to call you.

You two ended up planning the date at the local mall; There's an arcade and theatre nearby, plus mall food. So you two can window shop, go play games, or maybe watch a movie. Maybe all of the above. It seems quite wholesome.

Floyd kissed you goodnight, it wasn't on the lips. That'd be too much at a far too quick rate. He kissed your forehead and for a moment you saw him blush. It's been quite clear he isn't shy, but hey, he's got a soft spot for you. And he can't hide blush.

Your second first kiss— aka your real first kiss...

You initiated it. You gave his lips a quick peck at the end of one of your dates. He was awestruck by the feelings that fluttered around his stomach. You were everything he wanted to fall in love with. You're the measure of his dreams.

The song that represents you two is ; I Saw Her Standing There by The Beatles (pretty cute for you two <3)

[taylorthrift]

i don't think it's cowardly, tbh. i think it's good and healthy to want to be understood and to want to be seen and respected for who you are, and very normal to feel compelled to respond to criticisms and to explain ourselves and try to reach an understanding. it's not cowardly to want to help people learn or to want to push back against bigotry either. it's also healthy to let yourself step away when you end up putting more of yourself into it or taking more harm from it than is worth the possible benefit that could come from it. we all just have to figure out where that line is for ourselves 💙 like, personally i'll always answer what seem to be honest questions, even if what they ask is worded pretty ignorantly, but explicitly hateful bigoted attacks just get a report and block. my limited energy can go to the people who earn it by talking to me like a human being, yknow? in any case i hope you rest well and have a better day tomorrow 💙

Beautifully said, I have no pretentious rambling to add onto this.

[qingxintea]

heartbreak avenue (3) || albedo x reader

heartbreak avenue (1) heartbreak avenue (2) -- tell me how, do you do this thing called living? when theres nothing more to gain. gn reader -- ignore the link below idk how tf to hyperlink on mobile but that’s ur part 4 ig

damn. imagine missing mond so much that you visit just for the vibes and accidentally become a one time vigilante for dominating over a couple abyss mages

how oddly specific!

you moment.

TO BE FAIR, you didn't mean to and also ur just strong with that 245% crit damage ugh yeah yeah get it ig

it was night time, like, idk 1am and you were in this cloak because idk look swaggy and comfortable

abyss mage went ŏ̸̡̡̹̘͉̫̬̬̭̘̙̝͐͒̆̈́̒̿̄́͠͝ǒ̸̧̺͕̣̬̝̱͈̭̭̻̮̈̏̔͆̑̀̍ǫ̵̡̜̲̭̠̤̰̹͍̣͎̤̈́̓̍͠ḩ̴̡͍̣̹̯̭̩̮̣̩̭́̔̀̍͊̂͒́̆͘͜͝͝ȃ̷̧̡̢̡̨̛̪͓̤̜͕̳̦̼͊̏̃͆̓̈́̈́̽̈́͌͐̋̚ͅh̸̡̩͍̟͕̥͚̰̰̟̮̖̪̉̈́͛͂̍̾a̸̧̢͕̙̞̳̩͈̲͉͕̒̆̎̐̎̍̀͊͘̚͝h̸̡̼͓̝͕̫̤̰̱̬̣̗͚̙̀͜ and you were like "lmao shut up"

and like it did! because you made it shut up and also mans diluc was watching in his dark knight hero thingy

of course you noticed his presence from the beginning, you just wanted to piss him off and act like he wasn't there at all

you walked. straight past him like he was actually on the bridge in the middle and you just w al ked .

i mean ofc he gonna say something. and he did. dude said "who r u"

stared at him directly in the eye and said "the embryo made of chewed bubblegum."

he stared. sh o ck ed . what were you even saying

"jk im a resident of mondstadt, visiting from my liyue trip."

"and how do i know you arent lying?"

you sighed and grabbed your dendro vision, letting him look at the frame. "its incased in a mondstadt styled frame." after a few seconds, you put it back. "if that is all, i'll be going."

"k"

"literally fuck off" you responded and walked inside.

sometimes you forget how rude mondstadt people are lmao loser.

ok so like this donna girl really went up to you like "JFKLSJFLKSDJFL NUMBER ??? HELLO ?? UMM THE WAY YOU SAVED MONDSTADT RLKDFFC" and you resisted every urge to flip her off on the spot.

you just stayed and let her talk, smiling through all of it. your hood was still on but it was quite windy s ooo

its been ten minutes. girl please let us go. you were literally begging for anyone to cut in because ur too nice (or unbothered) to tell her to shut up even though you totally went off on diluc aadahahhshdf

and someone did! not the one you expected though.

"good evening donna, and... oh? who would you be?"

ALBEDO LMAO GET STICKBUGGED? ? ? ?? AH a hjfkahfjah . im so funny .

guys i meant that ironically please

anyway

you got even more uncomfortable lmao and you just looked at him and smiled. what do you respond? "no one of importance."

he heard your voice, saw your eyes and it registered. it was you...

or was that what he wanted to believe?

cause this whole time hes been waiting for you, only using experiments as a thing to pass time. it got... a little more lonelier, because nothing could replace you.

he decided to not believe it. because 1) you knew well they welcomed you with open arms, so there would be no need to hide yourself

(which is also proof of how much the whole situation fucked up your thinking)

a second of silence before he continues on the conversation with normal evening meeting stuff things idk

then ur like "ahhshaaajk i must be taking my leave now for matters i will not disclose ahaha skidoosh"

skidoosh

so you go to the big venti statue next to the cathedral and just stand. stare. yikes

no ones out right now and theres nothing to do. but you remember this place because its where the both of yall would eat together whenever he had free time (which wasnt that often, but he still made the effort)

you look up to the sky, counting all the stars like you used to.

no ones gonna know that you're here, you decided on that. you only visited because you simply missed it, but after this, you were going back to liyue.

no ones gonna know. because no one needs to know. no one needs to know that you were here. that would only cause more trouble to the situation you tried to avoid

albedo ends up catching up to you later, still having some spark of hope left that it really was you

i mean lowkey there isnt really anything saying it wasnt. he wanted to believe that he was just overthinking when he thought it really wasnt you

like you look the same. sound the same. its just the reasoning of you coming here, but he can push that aside

"(y/n)."

you flinch but didnt react with anything else. he doesnt need to know that its you.

"(y/n)?"

you turn around to meet his eyes as he was approaching you. slightly distancing yourself another inch away as you were not used to the proximity, you responded, "i'm afraid i'm not the one you're looking for."

albedo stops for a moment, and was about to apologize,, but then

yknow that wind i mentioned earlier? like right after donna started bothering you

yeah that same wind blew ur hood off! lmao L

okay time to get serious !

you stay composed and sighed, your breath visible in the cold air.

so your features are exposed, and its so obviously you, like theres literally no way it cannot be you

"it really is you..." he doesnt understand why youre not admitting to it. "(y/n), please.."

you shake your head and walk away but mans grabs your wrist gently

"(y/n), whats wr-" he starts, but youre quick to respond

"im not (y/n)." you flat out said it and looked right into his eyes. and you swear there were small tears even if he was deemed nonchalant.

he doesnt understand, its your physical features, and your same energy, there is no other person that completely matches it.

he pulls you closer to examine this black smudge on your hand, a small yelp of surprise coming from you.

"this is... ink," he studied the properties of the substance. "you responded to my letter a day ago. (y/n)... i know by now. there's no reason to hide it."

you step away, freeing your hand from his grasp. your voice broke, tears forming in the corners of your eyes. "i'm not... i'm not (y/n). i never will be. i'll never be so vulnerable again, i'll never be so naive again, i'll never be so lonely again, i will never ever be anything like they were again."

your vision blurred, but you werent oblivious to the tears streaming down his face as well. reaching to brush them away, you paused and let it drop to his shoulder instead.

"albedo. i... the (y/n) you knew... they're gone now. and if i could revert back to them any time, i would, i swear, but... i'm al-... they..." you buried your head in your hands. "i'm broken. to the point that i refuse to identify as the (y/n) you know me by."

doesnt know what to say, so he almost pulls you into a hug before you move out of the way. something you never did.

"don't... please. it never works out in the end." you shake your head, facing the other way. "for me at least."

"..we could work together, no?" he tried, still oblivious about your feelings towards him.

"only if you're willing to cross your moral boundaries," you looked back and tilted your head. taking a deep breath, you continued, "but you know that neither of us are willing to do that."

he couldn't say anything, because as much as he hated to admit something for once, you were right about that. at this point, he would've thought that literally any extent would've been fine to reach to bring you back.

yet in multiple situations where he's doubted himself before, theres always a line he will never cross.

"...i wish you the best. treat her well because i worked hard." you walked away without him stopping you this time. i worked hard. not we worked hard.

even if you had honestly felt that way, there was no chance the old you wouldve actually voiced that.

and so he watched you slip from his grasp again, only this time, he stopped himself from holding you back from his own will.

yet he swears- the next time he meets you again, he will bring you back.

[rogue-of-light]

i hope your head feels a bit better today!! also ok ok so, i doodled some of it out to help like visualize it better (if you're interested i'll prolly send those bc ill be honest i'm a better drawer than i am a writer of thoughts haha) but like i feel like after Mituna and Latula started dating for somE MySterioUs ReaSoN, Kankri was pretty down in the dumps, though in a subtle way that would make people go "he's just in one of his moods again" rather than being able to pinpoint a certain cause. Kankri decided to hang back and leave himself to his down devices, to let the others just do their thing as he usually does when he's in a mood™️ however, Cronus thought that it was awfully suspicious that one of these 'moods' just so happened to be right when this new development was found out, and as an oh so tortured ✨artist✨ he knows a little bit of heartache when he sees it! and so he hangs back with his pal to try to cheer him up, and while Kankri is adamant about not needing to be the entire time, it eventually works and Cronus is pretty sure that this is the first time he's ever seen Kankri smile. and something about that just sets off something just like 💘 boom yknow? i. am. so bad at describing my thoughts in words im so sorry (gen) -KPA

im feeling much better dw !!!! im just not used to the heat so anytime it gets above 70 where i live i simply die

also you can if you want!!!! i always love seeing your art /gen

AND OOOO??? im imagining a "helpless" situation where eliza goes "Then you walked in, and my heart went "boom"", thats the type of energy im getting /pos

and it makes sense to me dw !!! its one of those like, something clicks in your head! to put it to song because its what i always do bc its easier like a stutter by marinas trench type of situation!

[beloved-child-of-the-house]

Fic Writer Questions! (you can find me here on AO3 if you're interested!)

tagged by dear @theburialofstrawberries mwah!

1) How many works do you have on AO3?

112 yowza!

2) What’s your total AO3 word count?

750,421 kinda tempted to go delete one word so it can be 750420 which is a far more Pleasing number

3) How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

12ish but some of them overlap: BBCS/Sherlock Holmes/ACD (these are all different bc my bbcs fics are not the same as my own modern fem Sherlock Holmes adaptation are not the same as my ACD Holmes fic; Good Omens; Harry Potter/The Werewolf Draco Malfoy Cinematic Universe; Captive Prince; The Hobbit; Fleabag (it was a crossover with BBCS but Fleabag is the perspective character so it still counts as a separate fandom imo); Doctor Who; The Office; Parks and Rec; Broad City (one a piece for those last 5 but I AM going to write a Parks and Rec polycule fic for @gaykagome)

4) What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

They're all Good Omens fics from the 2019 Summer of Good Omens! Susceptible to Summer, Fragments Shored Against My Ruin, Something So Magic, Enter Serpent, and Anything We Like

All of those have over 2k except the last one, but average engagement for me is like 400 kudos or so

5) Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I try! It depends on what's going on with me. Sometimes I just don't have the energy, and I figure people would rather I spend my brain power on writing new fics than on writing replies to comments. Wish I had a fave button tho so I could let people know I read and reread comments, because I do!

6) What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Oh I wrote this ficlet series called A Chemical Defect about John and Sherlock's relationship in s3 of BBCS, and it's WILDLY unpopular. People don't read my fic to cry sad tears I guess! John and Sherlock are having an affair in the story, and it ends with the implication that their relationship is unsustainable and that Mary knows about it anyway. I intended to come back to it after s4 and write a more optimistic ending but LOL! Didn't have the heart.

7) What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

I know this answer is kinda up my own ass, but like. I think stories that feel true to life sort of feel like they end on a beginning if you know what I mean? You don't really consider a chapter of your life closed until you look back on it from the next? SO that said, I think I'd have to say that it's my big BBCS serial The Only One in the World. I spent 2 years writing it, and it ends with John retiring from medicine to solve crimes and write books full time.

Could also be my WDMCU (werewolf Draco Malfoy cinematic universe) series Moonrise, which starts with Draco isolated in his abusive mother's house, trying to cope with lycanthropy essentially alone and ends with him in love and surrounded by found family in a cozy cottage in Hogsmeade, having gotten some lycanthrope rights legislation passed after working at it for years and talking to Harry about whether they want to have kids. Oh man I feel warm and fuzzy just thinking about it

8) Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

I have written one crossover. It's BBCS/Fleabag, because me and @loudest-subtext-in-tv were laughing about how John seems like one of the horrible guys Fleabag sleeps with basically out of self loathing, so I wrote this fic to make Nattie laugh, and you should read it bc it's so good and so underrated.

9) Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Not really, but people don't seem to know that authors can read bookmark tags unless you private the bookmark, and someone once put in the bookmark tag on one of my fics 'writing was meh but it was okay.' Okay so why bookmark it then??

10) Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Fuck yes! I'm not sure what 'what kind?' means? People fucking? Sloppy, silly, and awkward, with lots of laughing. I also really like writing afterglow scenes which are even sillier and gigglier and often involve one character cooking for another. Food as love language is a very distinct pattern of mine tbh

11) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware of, but occasionally I'll write a post on here where I make some elaborate head canon, and I'll see people in the tags talking about how they want to write fic of it, and it makes me breathe fire out of my nose like a dragon like PLEASE DON'T. The WDMCU came out of a ficlet post I made on here like a year before I actually wrote the 60k series so like!!! Please don't do that!

12) Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! To Russian and I believe Chinese. Not my entire oeuvre but a handful of BBCS and Good Omens fics

13) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, but I wrote a fic inspired by an RP I did with my gf right around when we met (actually now that I think about it, it's two fics), and I waaaaaaanna do a WDMCU collab with my beloved Sally @clytemenestras at some point if he has time bc he inspired me to even write werewolf draco with his original lesbian werewolf story

14) What’s your all time favorite ship?

favorites are hard for me? I always think I'm currently doing my best writing lol so I'll say drarry

15) What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I don't post fics unless theyre finished, so I don't have any WIP up on AO3, but I did intend to continue with my fem Sherlock Holmes series, Your Many Tendencies. I just haven't been in a Holmes mood for a long time. Maybe I'll come back to it idk. This particular series is honestly very unpopular? People will just straight up say they don't read femslash, and it hurts a lot. This series feels really personal too, bc it's about a Black autistic nonbinary lesbian, so it does hurt my feelings that no one seems to care, yknow? I mean the people who read it are extremely kind and thoughtful in their engagement with it, but it has vastly less engagement than my m/m fic, and that's painful. It gets literally 1/10 the attention my fics usually get.

16) What are your writing strengths?

Almost all of my writing is romance, but I tend to write concurrently about recovery and found family, and I think I'm very good at doing that in a way that connects with my audience. I once had someone ask if they could use my words in their wedding vows, and I've had people tell me they started doing things with their spouse that my characters do with their partners in order to express love. I think about that all the time. My Impact. It makes me feel like I have a real duty to my audience yknow?

17) What are your writing weaknesses?

This question is hard for me like I've been writing so long and so much that I'm literally always happy with my final draft! It's always exactly to my taste, yknow? I suppose I could say that my fics tend not to be terribly plotty but so WHAT? That's beside the fuckn point for me. Plot who? I don't know Her. Also honestly like. Stories feel more True to me when they aren't ruthlessly devoted to plot bc like life isn't like that yknow?

18) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

If you're not fluent in that language, get a beta who is!!!!! That said, I have written scraps of very simple dialogue in French using mostly Google Translate (sometimes I check w Sally bc he speaks French but I am usually too impatient), and I am perfectly well aware that I take my life in my hands each time!!! Also don't do that bullshit thing where it's in italics? That shit is weird and exoticizing. Just write it in quotation marks like normal dialogue.

19) What was the first fandom you wrote for?

BBCS babey back in 2012. Ended a 5 year dry spell for me after I got my writing degree.

20) What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

Hmmmm I think it's probably gonna be the fic I'm working on now that I haven't posted yet, but I know it's called Names for a House, and here's a tiny bit of it

Thanks again Shreya for asking me to do this bc I really love talking about myself. I tag @the-moon-loves-the-sea, @clytemenestras, @tomiano, @gaykagome and @totallysilvergirl

No pressure <3

[supernova-151]

dieleon, marciego and fedemila <33

lets fucking GO

dieleon: many songs could be the obvious choice here but i actually decided to go with coney island! i see them as having this complicated relationship where they often butt heads and can't seem to get each other's point of view, then having a big fight and realising how much they miss each other when they're gone. "and if this is the long haul / how'd we get here so soon? / did i close my fist around something delicate? / did i shatter you?" they actually care about each other a lot and have very different ways to show it but they do girl...they really do.......

marciego: i put it on their playlist and i really tried to think about another one but new year's day is just sooo them. "i'll be there if you're the toast of the town, babe / or if you strike out and you're crawling home" is basically CANON, like marco sticking out for diego despite what he's done and never leaving his side cause he knows him, he knows he's better than his worst mistakes, and i also think it's such a cute, laid back love song that describes them very well and ummmmmm i love them so so so much your honour!

fedemila: listen. i thought of them for one second and only one song came to mind so please consider: starlight. aside from the very obvious title, i think it's such a cute song that fits them so well? fede wanting ludmila to actually let loose and have fun?? like, "he said, 'look at you, worrying so much about things you can't change / you'll spend your whole life singing the blues / if you keep thinking that way'" is so very distinctly them for me?? and also the energy of the song i think fits them too, like i can imagine them dancing to it together and being the fucking power couple they are yknow!!

[cattles-bians]

exes au part 14

post directory

obsetress:

obsetress: viola

em: holy shit

em: i think viola could hold a truly ridiculous number of things in her hands

em: danis like i have a little fanny pack right here- and violas like (turns up nose) absolutely not

obsetress: pre therapy viola during her relationship w dani: buys dani a birkin too, is like "here baby, so you don't have to use that fanny pack"

obsetress: dani's like "oh. i, um. like my fanny pack"

obsetress: viola therapy era after her relationship with dani: buys her a hermes fanny pack instead

obsetress: jamie rolls her eyes but dani is literally

em: i think a lot abt viola offering solutions completely unprompted n then being really offended when ppl dont take her up on it

em: pre therapy obvs

obsetress: SAME

obsetress: oh link is gross

obsetress: cost is grosser

obsetress: but viola lloyd dropping $2550 on a fanny pack for her ex gf? chefs kiss

---

obsetress: ok just remembered viola slouching or leaning or w/e n like

obsetress: brain practically applying that to exes au and imagining when and where she'd slouch n everyone's reactions to htat

obsetress: bc like she has perfect posture but when she chooses to do it it's a power move

obsetress: and i. hm

em: yeah

obsetress: viola sitting up stock straight when they first get to brunch and as soon as she's ordered her bloody mary shes pulling off her sunglasses and dropping them on the table and just sinking back

em: how to phrase this w/o sounding too much like a whore

em: actually no way to say this but like i feel v strongly abt the way we make women take up less space wrt to knees together calves touching type deal and i think maybe

em: maybe viola can manspread a bit as a treat

em: hate that term but i cant think of a better one

obsetress: nah she does n it's hot

obsetress: just had this image pre divorce of viola and arthur at marriage counseling on opp ends of the couch n arthur's sitting v tight close and vi is just

obsetress: leaning and spreading a lil

obsetress: the first time jamie sees her do it she's so taken aback

obsetress: because she's NOT expecting it

em: jamies like ah ok late in life lesbian deal and then jokes on her viola is fluent in dyke slouch

obsetress: jamie immediately trying to suss out just how long viola has been fucking women

obsetress: she says to dani later "i thought she was all proper like" and dani's like "she is" and jamie's like "so wot was that then" and dani's like "well, people are gay, jamie,"

em: ghfjhgljkJFDASJKKJFGA

em: jamies like so wait how long HAS viola been

obsetress: jamie: so you were vi's first serious girlfriend right? dani: dani: jamie: right???????

em: violas been fucking women longer than jamie has lbr

em: i mean shes clearly only 35, jamie,

obsetress: jamie: so... vi... viola: hm? jamie: you're, uh, gay, right? viola: obviously jamie: right. well dani told me you've been dating women since–– viola: since i was 15, yes jamie: but you married a man

em: violas like u went to jail everyone does stupid shit occasionally

em: jamie: so how long have you been dating women viola: since i was 15 jamie: no i meant like. in years viola raises her eyebrows and jamies just like haha nevermind fuck

obsetress: she tried!

obsetress: she tried

em: jamie on her 35th birthday pencilling 'many happy returns' into violas ????th 35th birthday card

em: yknow i think

em: i think something's afoot

obsetress: jamie, giving up on the direct approach

obsetress: slipping in next to rebecca at the wine bar

obsetress: "becca"

obsetress: "hi, jamie" "hi. how old is your girlfriend"

em: am fucking losing it thinking abt jamie like. realising how much gay energy viola has

em: like taken ABACK

obsetress: fksljfLKSDJFLJ

obsetress: just like

obsetress: why are jamies reactions to viola so funny

obsetress: montage of jamie realizing how much gay energy viola has

obsetress: jamie watching viola sitting

obsetress: jamie watching viola pick up a variety of glasses and mugs

obsetress: jamie watching viola compare hand sizes with dani, jamie's girlfriend and viola's ex girlfriend who she dated for literal years and whose hand size she definitely already knows

em: NOT THE HAND SZIES

em: they go for a walk and viola immediately complains about the sun and jamie's like

em: i have a spare hat but ur not gonna like it

em: its a snapback that says daddy or smthn in gold, owen got it for jamie for her bday, jamie Loathes it

obsetress: BYE

obsetress: viola looks better in it than jamie does

em: jamie has that

em: am i attracted to viola? moment

em: it passses

em: she has already compartmentalised the weird psychosexual power play

em: queen of compartmentalising

obsetress: jamie: had another one of those moments today dani: what moments? jamie: where i thought i might be attracted to vi dani: well, you did let her fuck you... what was it, four? times in one night, so

em: jamie; yeah but like that aside

em: jamie 'thats neither here nor there' taylor

obsetress: she is the queen of compartmentalizing tho

em: i was gonna be like. 'jamies like wait i dont remember saying four' but. i think she would tell dani

em: because the flip of that is dani callin up vi n i dont think she would necessarily

obsetress: i think she would and dani would make her anyway

obsetress: well make her is harsh but

obsetress: dani would very curiously ask in very convincing ways

em: lovingly coax it out of her

em: dani: what if i fucked you four times in o

obsetress: dani: let me do five

em: viola probably wears so many rings jamie doesn’t even clock the ever present thumb ring

obsetress: jamie just. writes it all off

em: am laughing abt like. viola v meticulously taking off every single ring and putting it in its proper location before...

obsetress: there is something. so hot about that

obsetress: im gonna scream i think

em: i was just meming and now im thinking abt it and

em: truly played myself

em: actually this is me refusing to unpack whatever the hell theo crain gloves made me feel

obsetress: sdkfmsldjfa

obsetress: fair

em: sublimate it into rings

obsetress: i just like um

obsetress: thinkin about when she and dani are together and like

obsetress: it's intentional and everything has its place but vi also makes a show out of it

obsetress: and like

obsetress: she's SO painstaking about it and definitely makes dani wait a little bit and

em: helps dani outta her big ass earrings

em: i mean dani doesnt even Need the help

em: viola meticulous lloyd

em: i mean she just wears so much goddamn jewellry

obsetress: she can tell when dani's getting impatient and goes even slower

em: viola has like

em: viola is one of thos ppl thats really into expensive watches

obsetress: !!!!!!

obsetress: yeah

obsetress: nice lil canon nod too

em: she drags dani to antique auctions n danis like i cant. actually tell the difference between the real and the forgery and violas like (passionately explains it for like 30 minutes) and dani is

em: like shes mentally checked out but also v intensely watching violas hands as she points to the parts of the watch

em: rebecca gets it tho

em: rebecca Gets It

obsetress: dani shoving vi into the bathroom at the auction house and tugging vi's hand between her legs v rebecca grabbing her own auction paddle and bidding against viola for the same watch

obsetress: (rebecca n vi fuck in the car on the ride home)

em: dani grabs a paddle n mimes spanking viola n then the auctioneer is like '$250 to 201' and danis like aw Fcuk

em: violas like i cant take u Anywhere

obsetress: dani gives her the 🥺😌and viola's immediately over it and pulling out $250

obsetress: dani: i didn't even want it, i was just–– vi: i know dani: what am i even gonna do with a–– vi: i'll sell it for $500 at a private auction next week dani: so technically i'm making you money dani, grinning: it's like i'm your employee dani: do you have any more assignments for me, boss? vi: dani get your hand out of my pocket i need to focu––

[confusedmocha]

Journal Entry #0210613 Regarding a New Job, a Tape Recorder and and Upcoming Trip Entry recorded 6/13/21 Written statement by Mocha Entry Begins I'd like to start off by apologizing. I didn't post an entry last week, mainly because I was stressing about a trip I'm going on soon, which I'll be talking about later, and I ended up forgetting all about the entries. So yeah. Sorry, I guess. Thankfully, that week was rather uneventful, so I don't need to squeeze in anything. Instead, I can talk about the things that happened this week! Firstly, I got a new job. I won't say where, cos, yknow, privacy (why do you guys think I never post my actual name or specific details here?), but I will say that it's basically a pet supply store. I was going to continue that paragraph, but I started slipping into customer service mode and talking about the benefits of becoming a member at the store and. . . No. Just, no. I'll just summarize by saying I'm enjoying working there and my coworkers are wonderful. Secondly, I recently bought a tape recorder! Yes, I know, I'm a bit of a TMA nerd, but I have a genuine reason for it as well. Namely, I want to do an audio diary at some point. Sometimes I don't even have the energy to write or type anything up, and if that happens on a day I'm supposed to do a diary entry (for myself, obviously, it's a separate thing from these entries), then I'm screwed. So why not switch entirely to audio? I thought about having it on my computer, but there's two problems with that: Firstly, I don't trust digital. For some reason, modern tech doesn't work with me well. I love it, and I love using it, but something always goes wrong and I end up getting fucked because of it. And this audio diary I want to do is far too important to me to risk it being digital and therefore being susceptible to my curse of not being able to operate technology without crashing or some shit. I've never had an issue with analog, it tends to be a lot simpler to use and harder to fuck up in a way you can't fix. At least, for me. So analog is what I want to use. Secondly, analog is safer. These aren't just things I've put out on the internet to ramble about my week, these are private, deep thoughts. Things I don't want people getting their hands on. And I'll admit, I'm a bit paranoid about technology. I'm always worried I'm being watched, and I'm more worried about someone hacking my shit and going through my files. Which is why all of my most important shit are copied on to physical media. Documents, paper, books, and analog things like cassette tapes. It's less likely to be taken remotely. If anyone wants these recordings, they're gonna have to physically get past me. Anywho, I've also got a trip coming up! I'm going to visit my Dad in Texas. It's been awhile since I've seen him, since it's so far away, and I wanted to surprise him for Fathers Day. I'm also making him a gift. I won't say what it is, but I think he'll like it! At least, I hope so. Oh, I also got my vaccine. Second dose of the Pfizer vaccine! I'm fully immunized, bitches! I'm so damn excited! I can go into Walmart without a damn mask on! Finally! My glasses won't get fogged up, my heat hives won't act up! Everything's really looking up now! Just can't wait to get that recorder, though. Entry Ends.