#but yeah.... great day for Portugal but also bad day for Portugal

[certifiedbi]

Portugal lucked out with Miguel Oliveira today

[wosoamazing]

Portugal Training Camp & Roommates

Part 4 - Fire on Fire Series

It was your first day in Portugal, meaning you were now also officially part of the team, having joined the first team training session of the year in the morning, spending the afternoon on the beach with the girls, as this wasn't an official team trip for competitions you had roommates. Leah was yours, you didn't quite know what to think of it but it couldn't be a bad thing. Right?

After dinner the team spent some time outside before all heading to their respective rooms for sleep. However you weren't asleep, and from the amount of rustling coming from Leah's bed she wasn't either. However unlike her you were still, as you laid on your back, staring at the ceiling, you couldn't get the 2 missed calls from both your parents each out of your head, they hadn't called you in years, let alone messaged, so why now? You couldn't understand, until you spoke to your Moster before dinner. She had informed you that they wanted to talk to you, apologise for what they had done, now realising that they did the wrong thing when you were younger. But you couldn't fathom the sudden change in beliefs. They had to have an ulterior motive. Leah must've realised you were awake at some stage, as you noticed her move onto her side, resting on her elbow as she brought your attention to you.

"What's wrong?" She questioned, the sudden words slightly scaring you.

"Nothing," you tried brushing her off, as if she would care about your problems.

"I can tell something is bothering you, you can just talk and I can listen if you want"

"My parents want to talk to me," you spat out, "oh," you turned to face her, mirroring her position.

"I've haven't seen or heard from them for years, the last time they contacted me was before, well, um, no it doesn't matter, but every time the have contacted me since I moved out they have thrown things at me, they even offered to buy me a penthouse apartment in New York if I quit football and did a PHD. They don't believe someone can be successful unless they like have a PHD basically. I moved out when I was almost 11. My Aunt says they are reaching out to say sorry but I find that hard to believe after all these years,"

"Why don't you just message them, ask them to come to one of our games."

"Yeah I suppose, I mean if they aren't really determined with whatever they are planning on doing they won't come, it would be time much time, effort and money otherwise," the fell into a silence before you blurted out, "They were the reason I wasn't getting played, they were paying the club money as a support under essentially a fake company, they figured if I wasn;t getting played I would fall out of love with the sport, but it clearly didn't work." "I'm sorry, that's unfair, you're a really great player, and your aunts must be good people, as you've turned out to be an amazing human," Leah started to ramble as she got anxious. You were glad there wasn't much light in the room as you felt yourself blush.

"Thank you, good night," "night," you rolled over and eventually fell asleep.

_____

The training staff decided that they were going to do fitness testing, the beep test included, you had been going for quite some time you, Lotte and Emily were the only ones currently still going, the rest of the team had either stopped or been pulled out by the medics or trainers so they didn't over do themselves.

"How?" Lotted huffed out as she doubled over trying to catch her breath, having given up, you on the other hand looked like you were still just doing a light jog.

"Okay Y/N, we're stopping you there, sit down and make sure to have plenty of water, we're also going to get you an electrolyte drink," you huffed in annoyance but complied and walked over to were Leah was sitting on the sidelines, taking a seat next to her, she lent towards you with her arms open ready for a hug.

"I don't think you want to do that, I'm like seriously sweaty," You warned her, "That performance deserves a hug, no matter how sweaty," you laughed as you lent in briefly hugging her, before moving to lie down, your legs still bent up, "you weren't wrong about being sweaty," she joked causing you to laugh "I did warn you,". 

You and Leah were alone, as she watched the rest of the team do the other tests, you were recovering lying on the grass, with a towel over your eyes to protect them from the burning sun. "How did you do that though? Are you actually fine?" Leah asked, ever so slightly concerned, she didn't want you to be overworking yourself due to being new, "I could've kept going if it wasn't so hot, or the fact that I wasn't stopped," you said and she nodded, not that you could see though, you were informed you couldn't continue testing until you had cooled down the medics not wanting to risk you getting heat stroke, however there was no way that was going to happen anytime soon, due to the scorching sun, "Can we go inside for a bit? Speed up the cooling down process," you asked her as you pulled the towel off your eyes, lifting you head slightly to look at her, "Sure," you stood up quickly, and turned to Leah who had reached her hands out for you to grab and help her up, "you haven't done any testing today, you should be the one helping me up" you joked, and she pushed you playfully once she was standing, "that's no way to treat someone who just helped you up," "oh shut up," she said as she wrapped her arm around your shoulders pulling you into her side as you walked.

_____

"I don't even know why you like playing them, they're so boring," you said as you sat down next to Leah on one of the sun loungers, you had to admit they were really strange sun loungers, as they were double ones, for some reason meaning two people had to sit on one, but it didn't matter too much as the team was close.

"They use my brain, keep me smart," she teased "Don't want you falling behind the rest of us I suppose," you teased her back, "Oh shut up, just because you duxed," you stuck your tongue out at her before pulling out your phone to message some people, until Leah managed to rope you into helping her do sudokus, you both giggled away as you spoke, before you were interrupted by Beth, "Why wasn't I invited?" she whined "We're doing sudokus," you explained, "oh ew, what movie are we watching tonight?" she asked, not getting a response.

"Beth," you both whined as you looked over to her who just shrugged her shoulders, "what?" she knew what, she just sent a message to the team asking when everyone else would be out because she felt like a third wheel with you two. Before long the whole team was outside and the movie had started, they had decided on ABBA which you didn't really like and so you quickly found yourself succumbing to your exhaustion from the day. Your eyelids opened around half an hour later and you realised you had moved closer to Leah and snuggled into her side while you slept, she had her arm out around your shoulders, "Oh sorry," you groggily spoke as you lifted your head preparing to move, "Oh, it's fine don't worry, you don't have to move if you don't want to, it's more warm like this too," she said softly smiling as her eyes stayed on the screen, you let out a small hum before placing your head back on her shoulder and quickly drifting off again.

[ladylooch]

Would Emma be jealous of a former hook up?

In the right context, yes. And when it comes out, she's very reactionary about it. But as we see here, she has awareness that she brought some of this on herself with her previous choices.

Timo and I are having a day date in Switzerland after returning from the NHL season. My parents snatched Lio from us basically the second we were off the plane. We have been struggling to get him back ever since. I do admit it is nice to do things like this as only the two of us.

Our lunch is put in front of us as two stunning females are being brought to a table behind ours.

“Ah! Timo!” One of them exclaims as I’m digging into my salad. A piece of arugula falls off my fork as my husband stands to greet her with a hug. “Wow, it’s been so long. I’m so glad we ran into each other.”

“Yes, good to see you Alma. And Wilma.” He gestures to the other woman. Timo stays standing, but shifts his weight as he puts his hands in his pockets. It’s then that I recognize her as the former gymnast that Timo used to hook up with in between times with me. She moved to California years ago and regularly hangs in circles with celebrities and athletes.

"You never call when you're in LA anymore.”

"Yeah, life's been busy with my wife and son." Her head tilts, clearly surprised, then she glances at me. Her once-over tells me she's less than impressed.

"Well, I know how important family is to you. It was so fun celebrating your contract with your parents and Larissa. Is she in town? I would love to meet up with her while I'm here.”

Tension pierces through my neck and shoulders. I straighten in response. You have no right to be mad. He texted you that night and you ignored him. Fuck, why did I do that?

"She's in Portugal for a few weeks."

"Oh bummer. Next time.” She reaches out for his arm, giving it a familiar squeeze that stills my mouth mid-chew. My temper flares, red streaking up my neck. “Great seeing you, T.” I roll my shoulders back further, tossing my hair over them as I take a sip of water to calm down. The glass is slowly set on the table after Alma walks away.

"A hug seemed appropriate there?" I cock my head to the side as I stare at my husband.

"Ah, sorry. I didn't know what to do." I roll my eyes then start stabbing at my salad. I glare at him while chewing on my latest bite. He avoids my gaze. "What do you want to do the rest of the day?"

"Hear about every position you bent her into. Isn’t she a gymnast? Must have been fun.” He chokes a bit then clears his throat.

"Who had my baby?” He responds.

"Me."

"Yeah, and you also have my ring on your finger. So don't worry about anyone else."

My eyes rise to where Alma is a few tables down. I picture them together, tangled in a sexy athletic heap. I push my plate away and toss the napkin on the table like I am finished. Timo groans. "Babe."

"I'm not hungry."

"Why are you upset? You knew about her and didn't care two years ago.” He’s not wrong. He was upfront with me about her from the beginning.

"That was different."

"Why?"

"Because I didn't..." I trail off, eyes trending downward. "Know what it was like to be loved by you."

"Yeah you did. I loved you then. Loved you in her bed when I wished she was you too. I still wish you would have picked up the phone that night and came over to celebrate my contract with me. When you were running away from me, I had to settle. Haven't settled a day since you showed up pregnant in Jersey." 

"It sounds bad when you say it like that.” He sets his fork down.

"Come here." He sighs, pushing away from the table. Alma glances up at us, then looks away when she sees me staring at her. I sit on his thigh, letting his arms enclose me in his cologne and warmth. I rest my chin on his shoulder. He presses his lips to my cheek, then brushes his fingers through my hair falling down my back. "There is nothing bad about what happened to us. A moment that felt like our lives were going to fall apart became when they actually started." I lay my cheek on his shoulder, feeling his lips continue down my neck until he rests his nose in the nook of my shoulder. My fingers thread into his hair, stroking the soft hairs of his recent fade from Larissa.

"I'm sorry I wasn't ready then."

"It's okay." I close my eyes at the way he forgives me again.

"Kiss me." 

He pulls my head back from his shoulder, then strokes his nose down mine before our lips connect. It's a needy kiss, filled with ache from all the nights we should have been with each other. Our tongues connect. Timo's hands clutch me tighter to him. He can't help himself and lets one palm drift to cup my ass.

“That’s what I want to do with the rest of our day.” I brush my nose along his neck, smiling when he sighs in pleasure at my hand wandering over his zipper.

“Only if you eat all your food. Need you fueled up.” He unwraps himself from around me so I can stand. When I’m fully up, he slaps my ass. It’s a distinct slap that reverberates through the restaurant. I give him a look when I sit down in my chair. “More of that later too.” He mumbles.

“You know I like it harder than that.”

Timo drops his fork again with a groan, looking around desperately for our waiter to grab the check.

[mangoposts]

Mina i need to rant but i also need an opinion before i do sum stupid

so basically i miss like crazy my ex situationship (it lasted 5 FUCKING YEARS). So long story short we know each other since we were kids but never really had any interest in each other before we were like 16 right. Then we were on and off for the most part. When we were on, it was GREAT, we argued all the time but with passion yk ? Like the hatred ignited a fire and it was great, like adrenaline it was so addictive. But when we were off, we were OFF. It was so bad, we teared each other apart like crazy. Like we dated other people just out of spite and shit. But since like august 2023, we were good and I really thought it would work this time. But then he cheated again (oh bc yeah even tho we were technically dating, i consider it cheating) with one of his ex. I discovered it in march 2023, after i lost someone really close to me and was grieving, i found out he slept at her house more than once. I was too disappointed to say anything so i just blocked him. He still tried to reach out and blamed it on him because I wasn’t giving him enough attention (mind you i was grieving and had a really hard time getting over it)

Then, in july, i saw that he and his ex (with who he cheated on me with and who is his actual gf since i called it off with him) were together in Portugal (our families both immigrated to the same country and even the same part of the country, so we all go back to Portugal during summer). So you can only imagine how devastated I was when I saw that (and especially because getting back together in Portugal was the main thing for us, everytime we were back in our usual lives, that was when things went downhill). Also keep in mind that NO ONE knew about us except my cousin and his bsf, it was his choice but i was okay with it

Anyway, i went to Portugal too and completely ignored him. It was so hard because we have the same group of friends so we spent everyday together. It was the worst like i was so down because i lost the person i was grieving and i lost him (let’s call him T). T was not only the guy im in love with but he was also my best friend in a way. We are the same. So ignoring him like that killed me ngl. I met his new gf and I can’t hate her, she is very sweet and pretty. And she met his family in less than four months while in 5 years never once did I talked to his brother at least. Then his gf left and he stayed in our hometown in Portugal, he tried to make a comeback but i turned it down quick.

A week before he left, he really wanted us to talk so I agreed (I needed a really convo with him about what happened) but i got no answers he simply apologised and said he was dumb and didn’t know why he did that (always the same excuse). But then he hit me with something INSANE like this mf dared tell me that him bringing his gf in Portugal was the best way to sign the end of us and everything we had, he said that we tried and it doesn’t work out no matter how much love there is between us and in a way he did it for us like bro ????? I mean he’s not wrong but my ego took a tool with that

In conclusion, i miss him so bad and it’s eating me alive and idk how to do and i can’t talk to other guys because im sick of men

- 🧘‍♀️

I wish i could give you advice on this but i am also madly in love with a situationship who ruined any chances of future love for me so all i can say is i understand how you feel and im sorry 😭😭😭💔 One day someone else will compare

[freelystrangenight]

Rating every Eurovision final performance until I get bored (tw: opinions):

1) Austria : 9/10 not the greatest thing since sliced bread but a solid vibe, my kinda weird and pleasant musically, like the "ghostly" harmonies, scrarch my brain pleasantly, and as English lit student I appreciate poe.

2) Portugal: 5/10 not bad but legit don't remember anything and it just finished; piano riff sounded like I Will Survive by Gloria Gaynor

3) Switzerland: 4,5/10 feels very general-pop; good lyrics but the arrangement/melody makes me kinda too bored to really listen; formal line sounded like "Sk8ter boy" by Avril Lavigne

4) Poland (motherland, I'm so not proud, WHY): 4/10 song is generic summer radio pop, nothing original but honestly not the worst I've heard, tho I'm pretty sure I have heard a Latino/Spanish pop song at least very similar; also unfortunately heard fragments of this before and this performance is not too bad for her, at least she worked on it; why the dance solo (pun intended hehe) exists tho

5) Serbia: 6/10 man, the boi is pretty, but can he sing? Apparently not really 😬 visually interesting performance, auditorily not so much 😭 (dunno if it's a word). Points for originality tho, but will not stream.

6) France: 8/10 Strong vocals. Song is definitely not what I initially expected, which makes it more interesting. Really vibing. Honestly didn't find anything I didn't like aside from the length of her nails but their hers not my business. Maybe not "Eurovision crazy" enough to win but still love it

7) Cyprus: 3,5/10 pleasant voice but nothing special yet; song feels ESC-generic, don't like the falsetto high notes. Lyrics feel like AI generated broken heart song

8) Spain: 8/10 kinda arabic vibes? Great vibes, song very original, not my personal fave, but still amazing quality-wise imo.

9) Sweden 7/10 Loreen my girl this isn't Euphoria -level :( not bad, but nothing special, tho the singing is mostly amazing. Her nails are a safety hazard, sorry to the French lady.

10) Albania: 5,5/10 very Eastern vibe. Original enough, the main lady sings great, but the song doesn't really resonate with me so far. Don't like the dude.

11) Italy: 9.5/10 sounds like a generic pop but in Italian, and I like his bedazzled top. Ok, nvm, song is not groundbreaking but his voice makes up for it. Not sure if win material but "add to playlist material" for sure. Im pretty sure I've just heard "calzone" in there, prolly incorrect but don't care, extra point

12) Estonia: 9/10 not the most innovative but has 'something', like it so far. Would fit a fantasy soundtrack, maybe that's what has me hooked. The auto-playing piano cracks me up tho, same with the wrist-belts, but those take nothing from the performance.

13) Finland: 6/10 heard it all over Tiktok through last week and am fed up with it😬 is a vibe, but after too many times imo plain annoying. Points for the outfit, personally hate it but is already iconic. Unfortunately song is even more irritating live :/ but also frustratingly catchy, gonna be stuck in my head

14) Czechia: 7/10 was loving the slavicness, wish it didn't switch to English, ruins the vibe, also Female Power points. The performance doesn't give much to watch, but nice to listen to.

15) Australia: 8/10 yeah, never saw a dude in a car on stage before. I like the song very much, but not the most original in the genre. But, might be on of the best ones tonight.

16) Belgium 4/10 generic EDM pop, gives the same vibe as Be My Lover by La Bouche but worse and with Positive Message™️

17) Armenia: 6,5/10 pretty but? Im gonna forget about it in 5 mins or make it my personality for the next 10 days, but option 1 is more probable.

18) Moldova: 9/10 don't know what's going on but in a good way. I think this song may be doing to me what Chachacha was supposed to, tho it's not the greatest thing. (Got a bit bored in the edm interlude)

19) Ukraine: 3/10 feels like they knew what they wanted to say but unfortunately needed to make it into a song. Don't like it at all tbh, but organs in the background are cool.

20) Norway: 10/10 my fave!!!!! Haven't heard the beginning yet! Sounds like she has stage fright:( love tho pls win? Love how she looks like she's enjoying herself

21) Germany: 6/10 why is their leader cosplaying Vecna from ST???? Song stands out but, feels generic at the same time?

22) Lithuania: 6,5/10 life story but make it Disney soundtrack. Nothing we haven't heard on ESC before, but not bad. Pretty visual display .

23) Israel: 3/10 ummm no. Shame it isn't in a language I don't know, would like it much better. Like the voice, and the instrumentals at the beginning, but that's it. No, I didn't wanna see you dance. Choreo is nice tho.

24) Slovenia: 9,5/10 sounds like something I usually would like (i think(on second thought no, not really)) but I do. Guy has a good voice, love their energy, somehow they look friendly.

25) Croatia: 10/10 gay sailors who's mother bought a tractor? Eurovision at it's finest 😂 this one stands out like nothing else

26) UK: 2/10 don't be boring pls!!! Ok, you are ;( the intro was promising, then she started to sing... Nothing criminally bad, would bear it on the radio, but boring af

Disclaimer: I now nothing or next to nothing about the artists, their backgrounds etc. Also my ratings don't reflect any predictions as to who may win.

[deep-hearts-core]

2015 - final

originally posted 5/25/20

France I know I really strongly disliked this back in the day, but I like it a little better now. Lisa is a great singer and the song is good. I guess the problem is that it isn't really a standout compared to the sheer volume of good songs this year - this one just doesn't hold up against the likes of Warrior, Love Injected, or A Million Voices. There were aspects of the staging I liked and aspects I disliked - it was good at the beginning but got weird later on, especially once those drummers came marching out. Could have been done a lot better.

United Kingdom In contrast to the French entry, whose biggest crime is really that it was uninteresting, this song is just plain bad. That set piece was genuinely the only good thing about it. It's a bad song, and this is only exacerbated by the poor use of backing vocals and an unsettling stage presence from the two leads. Alex is way too intense while Bianca is saccharine. Why did she keep pointing at him like that? SMH. The light-up costumes were, admittedly, kinda cool, and I appreciate the flapper aesthetic for what it is, but they didn't do anything for this train wreck of a song. Australia A solid debut in the contest! Guy's vocal power and control are just astounding, and the song is energetic and fun. Guy and his backup singers had a lot of presence and seemed to be really enjoying being up there. I liked the prop streetlights. While not one of my favorite songs out of the year this is pretty good and the 5th place was definitely justified. Austria Deserved better than what it got! I'm Yours is a good, mellow number that's decisively about platonic love. Dodo Muhrer has a pretty nice voice too and I think the simple staging really worked for this here. I did also like the flaming piano but I think that it felt kind of anticlimactic at that point in the song... if it had happened towards the end, maybe? But yeah this is actually one of my favorite host entries from the last few years.

Germany Like with Austria, this deserved better than nul points. I really enjoyed the staging of this, I thought it was pretty creative and captured the vibe of the song well. Amy Winehouse wannabe that she is, Ann Sophie still is a good singer and, for the most part, a good performer, even if she has no idea what to do with her hands onstage. Spain Edurne has trouble keeping in key, and keeps moving back and forth between vocal registers. The staging isn't necessarily bad but feels awfully over the top - although that costume change is legendary whether it's over the top or not. Performance troubles aside though I like Amanecer as a song. It feels really cinematic.

Italy Having difficulty formulating my thoughts about this one. I love Il Volo's voices. They sound really great together and alone, and are strong and stable throughout the whole thing. I think popera is nice as a concept, but it's not a genre I myself prefer. And I think the staging was kinda stagnant - definitely more could have been done with the background screen. So while this is good, it's not a personal favorite. My top 40

Latvia

Russia

Greece

Sweden

Portugal

Austria

Norway

Lithuania

Montenegro

Belgium

Ireland

Italy

Belarus

Australia

Georgia

Poland

Switzerland

Estonia

Germany

Czechia

Romania

Serbia

Denmark

Hungary

Armenia

Iceland

North Macedonia

Slovenia

Azerbaijan

Moldova

Netherlands

Malta

Spain

France

Israel

Albania

San Marino

Finland

Cyprus

United Kingdom

Austria and Poland sure were higher than I expected... hmm. Other than that this is more or less what I expected the sorter to spit out at me. This was really a toss-up between my top three, though - the last time I ranked 2015, my winner was Greece and I think I had Russia in my top 5.

Voting/intervals Y'all, they took forever to get the show started. Half of this opening sequence could have been cut or used in the interval. The "building bridges" video set to What If was cute though. I also really liked the compilation of winning moments. Austria didn't do the greatest job at hosting but they interacted a lot with the history of the contest in the interval acts and I really enjoyed that - this and the voting mishaps compilation were I think my favorite intervals of the year. Voting thoughts: 1. wow, can't believe Cyprus only got 10 points from Greece! And Greece only got 8 from Cyprus! 2. I can't with the Azeri guy saying "I'm a little bit surprised, but anyway..." at most of the Azeri results. 3. God, I feel so bad for Polina. The fact that it got bad enough that Alice felt the need to reprimand the audience... hoo. 4. Mans is so funny in the green room! He looks genuinely so surprised whenever he gets a douze, and honestly he is just vibing, he doesn't seem that nervous and is really just enjoying being there. Guy and Mans also seem to have a cute friendship, after Sweden gave douze to Australia Guy got up and gave, like, finger guns to Mans. 5. Ah, this year was "12 points from Russia go to Russia"! Iconic voting moment.

Thoughts after watching One thing that's been nagging at me during this rewatch is accessibility? How did Monika get onto the stage during the parade of flags if the only visible way up was stairs? Did the Polish delegation take a secret detour? I assume there is a separate, unseen way for artists to get from the green room to the stage and back again, but Monika is explicitly shown on the route in the middle so I really wonder about that. An analysis of disability in Eurovision might be really interesting - although I'm not the right person to write it. Yknow... I watch the show with German commentary, and even though Germany got zero points, the commentator never made it about bloc voting. All he said was that there were just too many good songs - from all over Europe. The most he said about Germany's lack of points really was, when Ireland voted, "I need to go have a word with the Irish commentary". I feel that's an example the rest of Western Europe ought to follow. I have mixed feelings on the Austrian hosting. I think the hosts were really awkward a lot of the time, especially Arabella, and some of the interval acts were either boring or cringeworthy. On the other hand, though, this is one of my favorite stage designs of the contests I've watched. All in all this was really a quality year full of amazing songs, never mind how the hosting was. I really love this year - the contestants and the music both were just awesome. And, as I've said before, I think Mans is a great winner. I like his song, but also... he really embodies what Eurovision is, theoretically, all about! He's just really happy to be there, and he's happy to participate when called upon, whether that's doing commentary, hosting, or participating in skits such as in 2017 or 2019. He really cares about the contest and, in that sense, he's one of my favorite winners as a person.

[heavenknowsffs]

hiii, hope you're good! <3

4., 10., 16., 26.

Hii! I am okay thank you i hope you're good too ❤️

4. favourite dish specific for your country?

Francesinha 😳 the sole reason i have not left portugal yet is the food (and the beer being so cheap).

10. most enjoyable swear word in your native language?

Foda-se is great you can use it for anything, caralho is a strong favourite too

16. which stereotype about your country you hate the most and which one you somewhat agree with?

Most of europe thinks we are lazy. No we are not lazy, in fact everyone that has ever employed a portuguese person abroad has always said we're one of the most hardworking people they met so there. We simply enjoy living life as well and maybe you wouldn't believe it if i told you how many people put in extra work hours just to be "the best they can be" without even getting extra pay or recognized by the company. I'm glad we are starting to loose this mindset and stop being exploited tbh and yes we drink a lot we party a lot and we go out with friends almost every day. But you wouldn't judge a hobbit for doing it.

Idk if this one could be considered a stereotype but that we are very hospitable i agree with. Not in the capital but everywhere else in the country we are usually very nice to people even though it's becoming less and less so due to the tourist boom making this country into a resort and leaving us out of homes but yeah that's another matter for another time

26. does your nationality get portrayed in Hollywood/American media? what do you think about the portrayal?

Rarely. Only remember the country being portrayed in himym and barney was fucking us over in some way. Otherwise it's usually portrayed with spain's flag (wrong) or in brazil (wrong again) or some variation that is not true at all 🤡 oh i also remembered in The Ninth Gate by Polansky there's part of the story going on in Portugal and it's actually not bad at all and if i remember correctly there's even someone speaking actual portuguese in it instead of spanish or pt-br lol but nationality-wise i think never seen anything from hollywood

Thanks for the questions!

[olimpias]

Hello yes Amadeo has intrigued me please do feel free to share some lore

OKAY OKAY BESTIE WITH PLEASURE-

well. let’s see. he’s the son (im gonna say he and son in this post to avoid confusion bc hes amab and also he literally couldn’t care less about gender stuff).

He was born in 1996 and is the son of the youngest of the four pascuzzi siblings, Gabriella. She ran away from home when she was 13 bc the way her parents made their money disgusted her (they are a bit like the mafia but with art and jewellery) and also bc the little sicilian village where they lived bored her to death. she wanted to go see The World i suppose but bc she was so young and also kinda dumb she landed in Palermo and didn’t get away from there for quite some time. She joined a gang of small time criminals like pickpockets and such bc she had no other choice (they picked her off the street). And bc she was so young and stupid she managed to get pregnant at 14 (it was consensual like the dad only was 15 himself and they just didn’t think of the consequences) and thus Amadeo was born.

About a year later, the police found out about their gang and they had to flee. Amadeo’s dad managed to get back to his home country, Brazil, and Gabriella somehow fled to Monaco where she began working in a casino as a croupière (does this exist? idk). They stayed there several years until she was 19 which was when she married an old man who was sort of lonely and only wanted to give her security with the marriage. He was a really great guy and they were all happy for two years. Afterwards, the old man died and bc his family was the bitchiest family ever, they managed to take all the money he had left Gabriella away from her. So there she was again with nothing oops

They travelled around Europe for one or two years afterwards and this time was not the best, I will say that much. Many not-so-nice things happened during that period but Gabriella was too proud to ask her family for help after she had spent so much time hiding from them. But after a while, they came to Portugal where Gabriella got together with some normal (or pretty normal) nightclub owner who was nice enough and they lived there for three more years until Amadeo was 13 and Gabriella was 27. And yeah. Then she died of alcohol poisoning one night. BUT

Amadeo’s family (the italian part, he has no clue the brazilian part even exists) all showed up to the funeral and it was very frightening and sad and new for him bc his mum had always told him that they were bad people and he couldn’t trust them. Which is true in some way but they’re actually really nice if you look over all the illegal stuff they have going on. And well, he became the oldest brother Felice’s ward and came back to Italy to live with his grandma in that same sicilian village his mother had run way from. It’s actually quite nice there.

When he was 18, he also moved to Palermo, into the old flat his mother and father had occupied back in the day (it’s a super crazy 70s style apartment with curtains made out of glass pearls and a pink velvet sofa and a cardboard Sean Connery and stuff like that). And bc he didn’t have to worry about money (Felice just founded his account every months with LOTS of money bc he is sorry what happened to his mother but also doesn’t know how to show it properly) he just did what he wanted aka partying and drinking a lot and doing drugs and not caring about anything. Not to mention he also has a lot of trauma. Which obviously sucks. His only help during that time was Janice, his cousin (Felice’s daughter. Remember Janice, she’s that other storyless oc of mine i introduced once) bc she is strong and amazing and would always help him in one way or another. But of course this was no situation to be in for very long and it all changed for the better when he met his boyfriend-to-be Celio in a bar.

Which is when he asked Celio for his number but never texted him until Celio was attacked by some assholes one night and Amadeo happened to be there and saved him. Then took him back to his flat, let him sleep in his bed and they became really close. And well. Now they’re in a very healthy, happy relationship. But that is another story maybe for when I draw Celio one day.

okay this was A LOT. I hope it’s not too much but you asked for it sooooo :3

[gncrevan]

alright, i'm bringing back my "nor says some shit about every ESC entry" tradition, sorry or you're welcome, whichever you prefer.

ukraine: i wanna bring goodwill here but the rap is very bad and using black people as set dressing is arguably worse. i like the singing tho

austria: choice quote from this literal girlboss anthem — "we can be CEO / yeah you already know / we can be the boss / fly higher than the gods" cringe

netherlands: boring as usual but it's nice they're singing in dutch for a change

albania: potential to be really funny, the song sucks ass but the music video is game of thrones meets stolen visuals from, like, florence and the machine's king mv and kiki rockwell's same old energy mv it's hilarious

uk: oh my god it's white jesus! he's here! honestly it's not horrible so germany has good chances of being in last place again and that's a reason to celebrate in and of itself, thank you white jesus

sweden: this song has such a weird fucking structure, first it just starts without any real intro which is uncommon for a ballad, then it suddenly drops a synth bass in the second verse, i have no idea what's going on? like i don't hate it but what

france: finally, some good fucking trash! and from france no less, that's so unexpected

serbia: i wish it was a little more unhinged but this is genuinely a good song i would listen to in my free time. i hope she washes her hands on stage.

armenia: walmart mumford & sons

spain: sounds like something they would play in 365 days. also extreme y2k vibes in the video for some reason?

romania: the juxtaposition of a dance beat, really involved choreography, and a singer who just has no energy is honestly. it's a lot. i kinda love it. i love this weird twink

italy: ok so i really like mahmood and i have massive respect for him for showing himself in tender embrace with a man in this video, but the song is kinda. meh. that's sad

cyprus: what's with all the history-themed videos this year? lol anyway this sucks toes

greece: props for singing acapella with only some vocoder backing on this for over a minute. i mean it's still bad but that's kinda impressive

belgium: this one's probably gonna be made or broken by the choreography cause what little they showed of that in the vid was really good and really improved the song

azerbaijan: there was the chance for this to be a really melodramatic power ballad and they didn't take it. the video was a little bit hilarious tho, the rain effects killed me

lithuania: very, uh. lynchian idk

portugal: tfw your back-up singers all have better technique than you

israel: what in the rupaul's drag race contestant's original song

australia: terrible lyrics aside this could have been so fucking operatic and y'all just didn't do it? you just didn't? why???

montenegro: "the air is what they need / the air is what they breathe / they'll die without it / it's unforgivable" so true bestie

san marino: jared leto joker

bulgaria: y'all ever heard wolfgang petry make "rock" cause that's kinda this hook

poland: if more of it was like the bridge it would be pretty great, hoping for good staging

moldova: polka!!!!! fuck yeah polka!!!

norway: it's so fucking stupid i love it

north macedonia: ........ i like the rings in her hair. song's boring.

switzerland: yeah unsurprisingly this is absolutely terrible

malta: what is with these gay/trans pandering songs, why are there so many of them, why are they all so disingenuous and why do they all sound like shit

ireland: this sounds like every other song and also not like a song at all

finland: ok listen. i was a the rasmus stan in my early teens, and i stopped listening cause they got worse. in the shadows was their prime. whatever this is is embarrassing and kinda gross. please hike up your pants, lauri, and don't act weird with your new female band member, and don't write fetishistic shit like "a girl who looks like she's a boy". please stop. you're in your 40s and this is sad.

czech republic: i will probably forget this song in 5 minutes

iceland: country abba. abba but country.

estonia: the only good part was the western horse gallop beat

germany: they really couldn't do a second take on that third line, huh? anyway, germany zero points <3

denmark: i think it's so funny when obvious pop artists act like they're playing hard rock or punk or riot grrl or some shit

latvia: LET! THEM! SAY! FUCK! AND! PUSSY!!!!!

georgia: somehow three songs in one and all of them feel like overly long interludes, idk what's going on

slovenia: anime opening sang by a decently ok guy at karaoke. also the video is just a slide show of the storyboard which is funny

croatia: how many times do we have to teach you this lesson, old man? nobody likes acoustic singer/songwriter bullshit at eurovision

[algumaideia]

Dead Poets Society and Carpe Diem

SPOILERS

So, I watched Dead Poets Society like two weeks ago, it was a really nice movie, I really liked it. And the way they put all those elements of Romanticism in the movie was genius. (Except Neil’s death, I didn’t like it at all). I mean in the movie we have:

Escapism through death. (Neil)

Escapism through nature (the cave)

Living a crazy life (drinking, doing drugs) and dying young (Neil)

Being inspired by the great heroes of the past- Middle ages to Europe, indigenous people to Brazilians -(the old dead poets society)

The almost all Knox arc. His story remembered me Werther’s story. Knox met the girl, thought he was the most amazing creature in the world, immediatly fell in love and continued pursuing her even though she wasn’t confotable with it, said no and had a boyfriend. That final scene when she came to the school and asked Knox to stop because she wasn’t confortable, her bf would get mad and she was kind feeling guilty about all of this, Knox was like she is clearly in love with me. And it remembered me when Werther thought that Charlotte being nice with him because she valued their friendship meant she was in love with him. Also that scene when Knox kisses her when she was sleeping it remembered me the two poems by Álveres de Azevedo we read in class. In the poems he was watching a girl, in the privacy of her room, sleeping in the middle of the night, like every healthy person would do. In the second poem he touches and I think he kisses her.

There are problaby more things, but I’m just a highschooler that is still leaning about it. But what I want to talk about is Carpe Diem, because this term is not from Romanticism but from Arcadian. I just would like to say I’m still learning English, I don’t know the techinical terms of the literary schools in English, I don’t write well and this post is a mess.

The Arcadian school comes after the Middle Ages and the mess that was the Baroque school. The Baroque school came after the end of the Low Middle Age (I just literraly translated the term from Portuguese- Baixa Idade Média, Idk if that’s how you people say in English). During the Low Middle Age things were gooing downhill, a lot of dieases, people dying, etc. The Catholic Church said it was happening because people were sinners and they needed to obey God, people did that and things didn’t get better. So people started not taking the Catholic Church that serious. It was also during that time that Lutero started the Protestant Reformation and people went further from the Catholic Church. During that time the literature showed how confused people were. There was a lot of antithsis in the texts. Day and Night, Light and Dark. Serving God during the day, asking for forgivenss and going to the church. At night drinking a lot, doing drugs, going to borthels, talking with voddo ladies, etc. There was a lot of focus on the emotions and this confusion.

After that the Arcadian school came and said let’s organize this mess. They were heavily influced by the Enlightenment, so they were rational and not emotional. There were a lot of rules that you needed to follow to write the poems. They used a lot of expressions in Latin to show off how fancy they were and also because they came back to Greek-Romans values. Actually Arcadian comes from Arcadia that was a land where sherpherds lived and that was used as an inspiration for Greek poets back in Ancient Greece. There was this search for this ideal bucolic countryside place. Arcadian school is the orginal cottagecore. They said things like fugere urbem, going away from the city, aurea mediocritas, gold is miserable/bad, locus amoenus, pleasant/nice place (I enjoy seeing those Latin expressions and being like wait this is similar to this my language!!! And yeah, of couse it is, Portuguese comes from latin). 

(I don’t know about other places, because I studied it focusing on Brazil and a little of Portugal, but the Brazilain Arcadian poets were also Incofidentes, which means they fought for the independence of Minas Gerais, a Brazilian State. Maybe the poets of others countries were calmer.)

People wanted to get out of the city, go to the camp, bake pies and watch cows shitting. And this is where Carpe Diem, enjoy your day comes in. (In the movie they use a s word instead of enjoy but Idk how to write it, sorry). Carpe Diem meant go walk in the outside, smelll that flower, pretend you are not smelling animal shit, enjoy the sunlight, etc. Do like Marie Antoinette and build a village in the countryside using the taxes of the people you are supposed to be ruiling because you need to chill out since people want to kill you and your husband.

The Romanticism comes after it and is the opposite. Because literary schools have those things where they need ot be the opposite of the last one. Baroque was a mess and emotions, so Arcadian was organized and rational, so Romanticism was a mess and emotions. 

So the movie took this Arcadian term and made it romantic. Enjoying your day wasn’t smelling flowers anymore, it was feeling your feelings and emotions. You are angry? Sad? Drink until you can’t anymore and go smoke that cigarretes. You think you have a crush are obsessed with a girl? Don’t try to know her like a normal human being, be crazy, stalk her!!!!

I also think it is interisting how that concept of analyzing poems from that phd guy was framed as something ridiculous and dumb, when I think it is a arcadian concept. Or how they just skipped the texts from the next literary school, that surprise surprise, focused in the rationality, and this was all in the end when everything seems lost and etc. 

I just think it is all really funny and interisting.

Best regards,

Me.

Ps. I cannot write good analyzis post. It’s so sad, specially because I’m gonna continue doing them.

[king-a-queen]

Eurovision 2022 – First Semi-Final

Hey ho, let’s go! It’s Eurovision night, baby! So in celebration of that, here’s my opinion on tonight’s semi final, enjoy! And good luck to all the participants!

Albania (Ronela Hajati – Sekret) – Everything here is on point: ethnic vibes, amazing vocals, dancing skills. I’m only not sure whether there was a need for changing lyrics in the revamped version, but still it’s a great entry.

Latvia (Citi Zēni – Eat Your Salad) – It’s the type of the entry that you either love or hate, no middle ground. I’m definitely in the first group. Yeah, lyrics sound as if they were written by highschoolers, but other than that it’s a really fun entry. Plus, the band’s energy on stage is amazing and the whole performance gives me serotonin boost.

Lithuania (Monika Liu – Sentimentai) – It’s not exactly my type of song, but I have to admit it sounds amazing. I love the vintage vibe. Additional points for singing in Lithuanian.

Switzerland (Marius Bear – Boys Do Cry) – I’m sorry but it’s just not my cup of tea. I fully support the message of the song though. And the Christmas vibe in May is also something I didn’t expect.

Slovenia (LPS – Disko) – It’s such a nice entry. I didn’t expect a soul-pop teenage band to entertain me so much. Even if they don’t qualify, they can be proud of themselves for bringing something unique to Eurovision. I wish them all the best in Turin!

Ukraine (Kalush Orchestra – Stefania) – First of all, Слава Україні! Second of all, it’s such a lovely song. I didn’t expect a mix of rap and folk, but it works so well together. And the whole performance is so entertaining to watch.

Bulgaria (Intelligent Music Project – Intention) – I seriously don’t understand why people seem to hate it so much. Maybe it’s not the most interesting song, but it’s not bad either. Also, considering that it’s a year full of ballads, a nice rock song was certainly needed.

Netherlands (S10 – De Diepte) – It’s hard to describe, but this song makes me feel emotions I haven’t even known I could feel. Considering that I don’t understand the lyrics, that’s astonishing. I love this entry and Stien’s unique voice.

Moldova (Zdob şi Zdub & Fraţii Advahov – Trenuleţul) – I know I’m in a minority, but I actually love this entry. I feel like I’m at the Balkan wedding. And I love the message behind it, we need more of such songs nowadays.

Portugal (MARO – Saudade Saudade) – I’m usually not a fan of such slow-paced songs, but I have to admit, it has something comforting in it. Like drinking hot chocolate on a winter day. Maybe it’s the harmony singing that did the trick.

Croatia (Mia Dimšić – Guilty Pleasure) – It’s a cute song (even though it’s a song about having an affair), Mia has a pleasant voice, but it’s a little bit too bring for me.

Denmark (REDDI – The Show) – Unfortunately, I’m a little bit disappointed with this performance. I think the vocals in the live version are a little bit off-putting.

Austria (LUM!X feat. Pia Maria – Halo) – The song itself is great, we needed more energetic song this year. The only worry I have is that even though audio version sounds nice, the live version may flop badly. I hope it won’t be the case.

Iceland (Systur – Með Hækkandi Sól) – I have very neutral feelings towards this song. It has a nice vibe, they have beautiful voices, I love that they’re singing in Icelandic, but overall it’s kinda boring entry.

Greece (Amanda Georgiadi Tenfjord – Die Together) – I totally don’t understand the hype for this song. For me it’s a typical polished Eurovision entry.

Norway (Subwoolfer – Give That Wolf A Banana) – Songs like this are the reason I love Eurovision. It’s funny, catchy, quirky and the staging is fully ready for Turin. We need more songs like this, otherwise Eurovision will just became a boring song competitions like any other on TV.

Armenia (Rosa Linn – Snap) – It’s not my favourite, but I like it. It has something calming in it. Also, Rosa just has some positive aura around her that adds to the whole performance.

My ideal qualifiers: Albania, Latvia, Lithuania, Ukraine, Slovenia, Netherlands, Moldova, Portugal Austria, Norway

My predictions: Albania, Latvia,  Lithuania, Ukraine, Netherlands, Moldova, Portugal, Greece, Norway, Armenia

[jandjmoor]

Othello day 24 - Zafra to Mourao

Another beautiful but cold morning’s ride. The sun kept threatening to come out but instead we got some misty rain. The scenery however was spectacular again. There are heaps of wild flowers out at this time of year.

We passed more of the black pigs, highland ponies, sheep and cows. Most of the climbing was in the morning so I got on the bike at the next town after coffee, post the last real climb of the day. From there on we lost a lot of elevation though I did still manage to get 338m of elevation. The loss in elevation meant that we both took our jackets off at lunch - yeah!

Jose and I rode together which was really nice. The Portuguese border was only about 8km after lunch so we arrived there with Jonathan and then it was only about another 10km to our accommodation. We seemed to hit a lot of bugs after lunch, I have traces of dead insect on my arm warmers 😖

By the time we reached our hotel I was in quite a bit of pain. I had managed to ride 56km and it was really only about the last 3-4km that it was really bad, so all in all I’m a happy camper.

Our accommodation tonight is spectacular! We are out of town on a lake. The place is pretty modern with multiple pools, a spa (I had a massage) and a great terrace where everyone congregated for post ride drinks and eats. Spain is an hour ahead of Portugal so that gave us plenty of time to enjoy our accommodation, though frankly we just enjoyed chilling in our room enjoying the view.

Tonight there was a beautiful sunset that we enjoyed from the terrace, glass of Portuguese rose in hand. Aside from the beautiful vista it was also nice to be warm.

So tonight we had our first Portuguese meal. The wine was delicious and so was the cheese. As for the rest some was good, some was interesting - but of course I am biased. Either way I’ve rolled to bed stuffed yet again 🙄

[officialleotolstoy]

Oh Dolokhov Brainrot We’re Really In It Now, aka Dolokhov playlist annotations!

A note on the cover photo: I don’t really like this one but I got tired of looking at men on Pinterest so I gave up. The window symbolizes the rum window and the smoking symbolizes uhhhhh habitual bad life choices idk

Drinking game take a shot every time I say “it’s about the vibes”

Wrecking Ball - Mother Mother

“I break it just because I can”

This is THEE ‘I am going to cause problems on purpose’ song and that is like his entire narrative purpose!! Argue with me about this one I dare you

The Good, The Bad, and the Dirty - Panic! At The Disco

“If you wanna start a fight you better throw the first punch, make it a good one”

Partially its just vibes, I won’t lie. But also the consistent spoiling for a fight is very in character

Shoot to Thrill - AC/DC

“I’m like evil, I get under your skin”

It’s got I Am Morally Repulsive But Also I’ll Steal Your Girl energy which really hits all of Dolokhov’s character traits. And of course the added bonus of gun imagery.

Mr. Brightside - The Killers

“It started out with a kiss, how did it end up like this”

I added it strictly for vibes, but then I realized the quoted lyric is very much him @ the Kuragins if you take the reading that he refuses to admit he actually like them but grows genuinely fond of them over time even though he initially got to know them with a lot of ulterior motives.

Bohemian Rhapsody - Queen

“Mama, I just killed a man”

The amount of songs that are on these playlists just for what are essentially your mom jokes since Dolokhov loves his mom so much is a little pathetic. But I’m not wrong! I can’t really put it into words but something about this song has Dolokhov energy.

Feel It Still - Portugal the Man

“Give in to that easy living, goodbye to your hopes and dreams”

A good deal of what I find interesting about Dolokhov is the internal conflict he has of knowing he’s become rather wicked and problematic but also not really trying very hard to change and almost enjoying it so a lot of the songs on here are about that, including this one. The “I’m a rebel just for kicks now” also very much screams Causing Problems On Purpose.

The Bidding - Tally Hall

“I like to take advantage of the bourgeoisie”

His whole role in volume one and two is to take advantage of the bourgeoisie! This song also oozes confidence and a sense of superiority that comes from being better than the sellouts in high society, Dolokhov’s not like other girls uwu (he really is, but I don’t think he would admit that).

Say Amen (Saturday Night) - Panic! At The Disco

“I could be better but baby it’s Saturday night”

Embracing his own wickedness! The idea that he knows he could be better than he is but he doesn’t want to take that opportunity...yeah vibes

Wilson (Expensive Mistakes) - Fall Out Boy

“I became such a strange shape from trying to fit in”

This is the epitome of the “woe is me I need to be purified” phase he goes through when he’s into Sonya. Also “I’ll stop wearing black when they make a darker color” reminds me of Comet Dolokhov’s stupid eyeliner <3

Some Nights - fun.

“So what is this? I sold my soul for this?”

There’s a long stretch of this playlist that just boils down to “Woe is me I need to be purified” crisis hours, because Dolokhov’s oscillation between embracing his own cruelty and trying to be a good person is super interesting to me. This song captures the idea that he’s still having fun and there’s some good there, but he’s also aware that he’s losing himself a bit

Roaring 20s - Panic! At The Disco

“I don’t even know me”

“Woe is me i need to be purified” crisis AGAIN. This song gets more to the annoyance with society as a whole and feeling kind of lost in it

Send Them Off! - Bastille

“Help me exorcise my mind”

“Please purify me 16 year old girl! I’m 27 this isnt creepy at all ahahahha”. I do despise Sonyakhov but this has the vibes of a man feeling his own evil and wanting a woman to fix it. Not a great look.

Easy Days (Demo) - Bastille

“I don’t wanna fall back again, back into the easy days”

Near the end of the “woe is me I need to be purified” phase when he’s kind of drifting back to his old ways and he’s like wait no- wait- and then he does anyway because he’s horrible. I also really like the acknowledgment that his horribleness is easy and pleasant for him, and he has to fight against that (and he loses that fight HDJAJJD).

Undisclosed Desires - Muse

“You trick your lovers that you’re wicked and divine”

This is a Dolokhov/Nikolai song I do not take constructive criticism. Undisclosed desires...not being straight...lots to think about! It feels almost like a corruption arc? Nikolai isn’t corrupted nor does their...fling (?) last very long but Nikolai is obviously enamored with Dolokhov despite him being The Worst so I think this fits. I don’t have enough songs for a Nikolai/Dolokhov playlist so I just add those songs to both of their individual playlists

Thnks fr th Mmrs - Fall Out Boy

“Thanks for the memories even though they weren’t so great”

Also mostly a Nikolai/Dolokhov song. This man has never ended a relationship on good terms, huh. Also. Sighs heavily. “He tastes like you only sweeter” never fails to make me laugh when I think about it in the context of Dolokhov post-duel being like oh?? You’re just a stupid WOMAN Hélène your brother and/or Nikolai is hotter than you :/ which is not exactly what I think happened but it makes me laugh to consider. Dolokhov ur bitterrrrr

Dangerous - Royal Deluxe

“I’ll be the last man standing here, I’m not going anywhere”

I feel like this has the vibes of his cruelty, especially in that bit after the Kuragins have died when he and Petya infiltrate the French army.

Another One Bites The Dust - Queen

“There are plenty of ways you can hurt a man”

He will hurt you and kill you so violently :) It’s about the vibes.

White Wedding Pt. 1 - Billy Idol

“It’s a nice day to start again”

In the exact inverse to his “woe is me I need to be purified” phase, he’s like ok yes i will pick up bad habits again and enjoy them because frick you! I read once that this song is about a relapse into drugs, but I’m making it analogous to his relapse into Terrible Person Behavior after Sonya’s rejection. Also the repetition of the phrase little sister does something for my brain idk, after we know he loves his mom and sister it just fits.

Highway to Hell - AC/DC

“I’m on the highway to hell and I’m goin down”

Like White Wedding, it screams acceptance of his problematicness. He knows he’s cruel and evil and he revels in it. This is the phase we see him in most I think.

Back in Black - AC/DC

“It’s been too long, I’m glad to be back”

I think this plays every time he gets reinstated to an army position he lost by being reckless earlier. Just kidding sort of but listen to this song and tell me it doesn’t have Dolokhov vibes. If you do, you’re wrong <3

Poet - Bastille

“I have written you down now, you will live forever”

This is just here cause he ghostwrote Anatole’s love letters and I think it’s funny. It’s MY playlist and I get to choose the barely relevant Bastille songs

St. Jude - Florence + The Machine

“Maybe I’ve always been more comfortable in chaos”

This one’s more scattered lyrics than an overall vibe. “Each side is a loser so who cares who fired the gun” has duel energy also.

Hey Look Ma, I Made It - Panic! At The Disco

Confession: I hate this song. However, it’s about the about the MOM R U PROUD OF ME vibes (she is. Should she be? Probably not).

Rich Kids - Bea Miller

“It’s never enough for the stuck up types”

The not coming from wealth and having to almost scam your way into being part of the aristocratic scene is very Dolokhov. Also in my mind the rich kid he’s roasting is specifically Nikolai.

Money, Money, Money - ABBA

“It’s a rich man’s world”

I’m not SAYING the wealthy man they talk about is Anatole but - [i am shot]. Scheming and clawing your way up to wealth is Dolokhovcore.

This Is Gospel - Panic! At The Disco

I literally have no justification for this other than that i think modern AU Dolokhov would vibe with it. Look at the amount of eyeliner he wears in Comet and tell me he didn’t have an emo band phase. You can’t.

Trouble’s Coming - Royal Blood

This is not about the words at all, it’s more about the vibes. It just sounds Dolokhovish to me, don’t ask me to explain.

Sleep Alone - Two Door Cinema Club

“They’re just ghosts and they can’t hurt him if he can’t see them”

This gives me post-Kuragins’ death vibes, and I can’t pin down exactly why? I think it’s the idea of being very alone and closed off.

Golden Days - Panic! At The Disco

I can’t put a specific lyric to it but it’s the vibes of looking back on your hedonistic youths with nostalgia and rose-colored glasses. Post-Kuragins’ death vibes again.

Go Get Your Gun - The Dear Hunter

“One foot in the grave, the other one’s kickin’ its way right down to hell”

All we see of him after the Kuragins’ death is just him being particularly cruel and reckless, almost careless. This feels like it encapsulates that energy.

The Fallen - Franz Ferdinand

“They say you’re a troubled boy just because you like to destroy”

I’m aware that a good portion of this song is about a Christ figure but I’m going to respectfully ask you to ignore that bit and just focus on all the Sketchy Things the guy does instead. Thank you. He does in fact like to destroy things! Señor Cause Problems On Purpose back at it again at krispy kreme, huh.

[white-eyed-girl]

My personal top 39 for ESC 2021  Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

Soooo our beloved Eurovision Song Contest is back in less than a week It still seems unbelievable that it's actually happening after TWO years of waiting :" But it is, and it anticipates to be an extremely intense one. So many countries have their best shot at winning, ever or in a very long long time, that it's honestly sad only one of them will make it (can we get at least a couple winners like 30 years ago asdfghj)

There will be A LOT of comparing to last year's songs in my top It was inevitable I still tried to keep my opinion as detatched as possibile...but yeah, in some cases it was harder than in others

As the days go by, I can definitely feel the excitement rising but, at the same time, I confess I'm not too sad at the fact this 2-years-long ESC season made of constant comparisons and huge previous expectations is coming to an end :" But I sure hope it will bring us something great on its way out! Please don't hate me if your country or your favourite is low asdfghjk

39) Portugal - Love is on my side - I...this song coming from Portugal feels like a disappointment on every level :" (sorry if someone from Portugal is reading this!)

38) Georgia - You - Probably the biggest downgrade from last year Like, I don't understand where the song is trying to go and the answer I have in mind after listening to it is "nowhere"

37) North Macedonia - Here I stand - Are they trying to re-make Proud (which was honestly already quite overrated imo but had its appeal at least)? :" but juries like this kind of stuff I guess so who knows if they'll manage to avoid the last place

36) Slovenia - Amen - Ehhh idk this sounds a bit preach-y and religion makes me uncomfortable :" BUT religion-themed music isn't inherently bad, I just don't think this year we've been served the good stuff in this regard

35) Austria - Amen - I don't know what's with everyone this year lol but I think at least in this one the religious element is just a metaphor...I actually came to know the story behind this song and wow, it's a pretty heartbreaking one and it explains the radical change in style - sadly song-wise I still feel like last year's style suited him more

34) Moldavia - Sugar - This kind of music has little to no effect on me I fear :"

33) Poland - The ride - Something about this is weirdly enjoyable, but I just zone out after one minute of listening to it

32) Estonia - The lucky one - A masterpiece compared to last year's song, but it was my last place so it didn't take much I guess :" Estonia please come back to your senses T-T

31) Spain - Voy a quedarme - No improvement, no downgrade...we're more or less where we were last year...unfortunately, not a particularly interesting place :" The granny in the video is so cute though!

30) Norway - Fallen Angel - I legit have no idea what to think about this The message is great and I respect him for wanting to talk about certain issues but the song is just...so dull, and those things he wanted to talk about, besides not really contributing to the song at all, just make it sound like a good intention with poor execution in my eyes Translating it was the nail on the coffin

''It'S oNlY lOw BeCaUsE oF KeIiNo'' Just in case, stfu :" So many songs I have in stellar places on here (Croatia and France just to make a spoiler) weren't even my winners in their NFs This is here PRIMARILY because I find the song not good, and very much secondarily because I'm still mad out of my mind. Also this cringe joke-stalking thing he's doing with Efendi is kinda weird

29) Romania - Amnesia - ...I don't know. I really liked her song last year, but this one is just kind of there

28) Israel - Set me free - The revamp made it slightly more its own song but I fear that, among the returning artists, this is still one of the biggest downgrades. I'm...still not sure about those whistle-notes :" but Eden's ability to reach them sure is impressive!

27) San Marino - Adrenalina - For being San Marino, there's so much of this that shouldn't even be put in the same sentence, and yet there it is and maybe it could even work in its own mysterious ways lmao It's mostly up here for the effort xD But people who think this can actually win make me smile, I admit it :" even being sure that it will qualify is a stretch imo Senhit looks like a pretty cool lady though

[tsukishumai]

I like to live here, yes! There is a bad side, but so has Brazil (though I miss it and specially my friends a lot just the same). I absolutely love the city I live in and no longer can see myself out of here, haha! I hope you can visit sometime, no matter where in the country, it is really interesting (but my city? C'mon, my favorite from all the ones I've been to).

Oh, you still can learn another language(s) in the future! I never thought I would start my way to a third one (and on my own to study it), but I did quite some time since I had the wish! Sometimes you get sidetracked by the obligations of life and can't keep going for a while, and that's another situation to remember to not feel so upset with yourself because at least you started — and in your case, the act of wishing is one step away from starting, which is pretty close and great still, uh? Your chance will arrive, I believe it! As I said, if you have any question/new phrase you want to learn, you can ask me! 💕

And about Haikyuu, I'm 99% sure I'm going to love it because I absolutely adore that work so much, ahhh! It's one of the things I'm mostly recognized for between my friends and I'm really proud of it. 😭🙏

(To easily keep our contact through the asks, may I claim to be 💎 anon, Cam? It's great/fun to talk to you, and as I think I said also on anon before, you write some of my favorite stories here! Thanks for your hard work to give us all these good works I still want ro read one by one, for the ask games and conversations with us!)

Aw that’s amazing! Did you move out there for school or work or just bc you liked the city? But I mean there’s a bad side to every city of course, you just have to learn how to be safe and careful(; AND YEAH it’s definitely on my bucket list to visit both Portugal and Brazil I mean the culture!! The food!! The people!! So colorful and beautiful, I HAVE to go one day 😭

THREE LANGUAGES!! That’s so cool sjdjs I only know two 😭 but yeah you’re so right, it’s never too late to learn a language and I feel like especially now, there are so many different learning tools to use (apps, books, etc!) I really want to learn Spanish lol that would be the most useful for me considering where I live, everyone speaks Spanish, and I want to be able to communicate with anyone 😭

PLEASE SAME I’ve forced at least three people to watch haikyuu and they’ve all loved it so I mean WHOS THE REAL WINNER HERE

aww of course my love! and that’s literally so sweet of you to say, thank you so much 😭😭 I’m honored you even read my works so really thank you thank you, and I have so much fun and absolutely love talking to u and everyone! ily

[aphspain-pure]

Spanish Gold in Moscow

@hetaliamondaychallenge September 28: “Chaos isn’t meant to be understood”. 

Category: Fanfic. 

Pair: RusSpa (Russia x Spain).

Words: 2.073.

Genre: Historical, Drama, angst, shounen-ai. 

Note(s): During the Spanish Civil War (1936-1939) the Sencond Spanish Republic was completely ignored by Europe, while the fascist that had rebealed were helped by some militar forces. Spain was basically used as a test game of the military armament and strategy before the 2WW. The only country that gave real help to the Republic was the USSR. To finance the war, the government spent all the Spanish gold. 

1938

With an absolute ill look in his face, Spain, who still liked to considerate himself as the Second Spanish Republic, moved his gaze to the door that opened a few seconds before.

Nations could perceive other nations in a certain rate, so he wasn’t really surprised when the other entered the room; he had sensed him from far away, knowing he was leading to his position. Weary eyes without the so-called typical Spanish shine looked at the other, a little smile crossing his feverish face.

- Buenos días, Rusia.

Right in front of him, heavy, enormous and clearly powerful, the actual leader of the giant Union of Soviet Socialist Republics, Russia, stared back at him with his famous sweet smile. Spain didn’t have known him till a pair of centuries ago, but he knew about this certain characteristic even before personally meeting him. He heard from France, England, Prussia, Austria and even Denmark about this “gentle look monster” that was so big and terrifying in the east.

Anyway, Spain didn’t have really hated this guy even once; he was actually grateful for his performance during the Napoleonic wars, though. If it wouldn’t have been for the Russian forces, France’s troops wouldn’t have retired from his vital territory and he wouldn’t have regained his independence. He sighed, trying to get rid of the thoughts of the past.

He was now, currently, going to lose his independence against his own people, in the middle of the worst civil war he had ever have –and Spain was certainly a country that had endured quite some civil wars-.

A strong ache tortured his mind while he suffered a new wave of deaths. Every time his people died, his body would burn and a painful sensation split him in two. They were dying at that very moment, out there, in the valley of the Ebro, killing each other in a battle that had been going on for months. He nearly cried, but couldn’t afford doing it in front of the power that was standing over there, staring at him with a complicated look in his eyes.

After a few moments, Russia, still smiling even if Spain’s looks were terrible, spoke with a calmed voice. – How are your wounds? –he had asked.

A quick smile was formed in the Spaniard’s mouth, quite ironic.

- Well, my right arm has grown up again, so I can’t complain.

Russia stared at the renewed arm, where a few days ago only a stump could have been appreciated. They, nations, received wounds just like humans but their bodies weren’t actually the same. If they were cut, they would recover; if they lost blood, after resting for a while they’d be up again; if they were burn till ashes, they would start to be reborn just like a Fenix. If they were killed, they wouldn’t die.

Only another nation could kill one.

Even if Spain had lately started to question if a nation could kill itself, just like how he was feeling during these days in which he thought he was actually going to be destroyed by his own people.

Russia’s hand reached him and touched his back. He jumped for a moment, sored. He then relaxed, looking far away and not giving attention to the hands that touched his still bleeding injuries. 

When a certain happening was so bad, so traumatic, that it gave the nations nearly-coma state, the injuries would still remain bleeding some time. Sometimes it lasted days, sometimes centuries. Those were produced by the bombing, the Biltz, in Guernica, and they still bleed after a year.

He trembled, just by remembering it. The hand in his back made him shiver in pain, but it was the most comforting thing he could afford to have those days, so he didn’t say anything.

Then, he gained composure and faced the other.  - What are you doin’ here, anyway? I thought you were going back at your place for some bureaucracy stuff.

Russia remained silent.

That silence made Spain worry.

He didn’t hate Russia at all. He was nice to him, and every time they had met he could only see a true innocence behind the brute and scary dude everyone saw. He liked him quite a bit, and he lately, during his few peaceful years with a Republic, found out that he was such an intelligent and interesting chat partner. Thanks to the leftist ideology of his government the relations with the Soviet Union had been pretty good, so they had become nearly friends at this point.

He even had became the only nation helping him in this suicidal situation.

During civil wars Spain, normally, stayed apart and watched his people decide his fate. He disliked choosing between his beloved people, so que stayed aside.

This time, he couldn’t.

He had seen what happened with Italy after the Great War. The fascism grow up and ate Ita-chan and Romano completely. The brutality that came with it made Spain shiver from his position in the neighbour peninsula. He didn’t recognise his cute Italian brothers with those black shirts and that dark look in their face. Then it expanded to Germany and developed into the National Socialism, which happened to be even worse. A virus was expanding all over Europe and even reached his brother, Portugal.

Spain could have seen it coming. He even spoke with a few general of the army and old requetés, he tried to create a flexible government just to evade the incoming clash. But it was all in vain.

The military coup happened, and while it wasn’t effective, war broke out.

It may be pathetic coming from a country that used to be a world power but, this time, Spain feared his people. That’s why he stayed with the republicans. That’s why he suddenly started dying from the insides.

And while Spain was in that desperate situation, Europe didn’t mind at all and, trying to avoid a Second World War, signed a No Intervention Pact in which 27 countries swore not to intervene in his civil war. That had broken Spain’s heart, who found himself suddenly isolated and left apart, left to die alone. It was even worse when, even if knowing it, the United Kingdom looked away while the Nazi Germany and Mussolini’s Italy broke that pact and helped the rebels. He couldn’t believe England’s coward attitude.

But it was kinda worst when he watched his closest friends actually attack him, help the fascist rebels.

First, the Italian brothers; then, Germany, Austria and Prussia under the name of the Third Reich. Portugal also attacked the Republic by sending his Viriatos and even the American self-proclaimed Hero’s Ford Company sent help to destroy him. All his old friends were against him. He, on the other hand, only received some fusils from Mexico and a few airplanes from a very scared France, who refused to send more help. The only one who lent him it’s power was the Soviet Union, or preferably Russia.

He still remembered when he had met Romano in the site of Toledo. Romano had been excited, he spoke about autarchy, about having a great colonial empire, and about things such as war being the way through the future. His golden eyes sparkled when he had, for the first time in centuries, hugged Spain.

If you join us I promise we’ll bring this to an end.  –he had whispered, while speaking about how great it was being a fascist country.

He had been then, suddenly, pulled apart by a giant body that happened to be his ally, Russia, who looked at Romano with electric violet cruel eyes. Spain could have said something to stop a conflict, but, when he looked at Roma, he couldn’t longer see his cute tomato-like crybaby. In the past Romano would have cried and call him to save him but, then, he held his gaze prideful, strong and dangerous in front of the terrible Russia.

A bombing had made them react and, when he came to himself, he was with the International Brigades heading to Madrid.

Remembering all of that made him feel sick and hided half of his face while looking at the floor with a tired smile.  

He suddenly had an urge to vomit, but he managed to stay calm and recover a moment later. – Sorry, I beg you excuse me. My house is total chaos now, no, wait… EUROPE is a total chaos now, haha…! I don’t understand how or why, but it makes me think things a way too much.

- Chaos isn’t meant to be understood.

That statement made Spain stay quiet and, then, he looked with his nearly dead green eyes at the other.

- I’m going to ask again, Russia. –he said, this time, cautious-. Why are you here?  

- You haven’t paid me to help you lately.

And if he had frozen before, this time Spain had lost all the blood of his veins.

He started sweating. He wanted to cry, but he couldn’t.

- Y-yeah, I-I know… It’s just that all the gold that I’ve been keeping in my reserves has been already taken to Moscow, so I-I…

Russia’s voice was sweet but cold as ice. – You’re not going to pay for my services.

The Spaniard’s eyes opened at his full.

- No! Don’t even think ‘bout that! I’ll pay, I swear it! It’s just that, right now, my people are starving, we don’t have armament and the industry it’s all stopped. I can’t now but, when we win, I’ll return what I owe! A-and I’ll even make it double…! I’ll work hard, I swear. But, now, with all my old gold gone, I…

- So you’re not paying.

The calmed voice made Spain feel like if he were to hyperventilate. He felt like crashing. Like glass about to break.

- I’m not. –he confirmed then.

The taller man stood up, and Spain followed him, clearly desperate.

- Y-you can’t leave me, Russia! If I don’t have your help I’m lost! –after hearing those words the Slavic turned around and faced him, with his so-typical smile in his face.

- So you’ll pay me?

The brunette looked away, clearly ashamed. – I have… nothing to pay you with. B-but I promise..!

- Нет. You can pay me. –response that took an ¿hah..? out of Spain. Russia laughed in a calmed way and then, explained. – Even if you don’t have anything you still possess your body, da?

And Spain’s eyes darkened.

Ah, true. Nation prostitution.

It had been a while.

It used to be so common in the past that he didn’t know why he felt so surprised when Russia suggested it. It may have been ‘cause Russia is fairly younger than himself, or ‘cause the times have changed. He had been so accustomed to it even when he was a child that it wasn’t so much of a surprise finding out that some new power wanted to take advantage of his position to appeal to this. Spain could easily remember when he was forced to be Rome’s or the Islamic Empire’s sex-boy, or even Turkey’s or France’s. Well, he had also been like that with some nations; but, well, let he who is without sin cast the first stone, and he was also a sinner after all.  

He looked back at Russia and sighed. – Is this old damaged body worth all the gold I could have had afford to pay you weeks before? –and Russia’s aura became surprisingly pink, just like a happy kid’s.

- And much more! I’m happy so I’ll help you.

And leaned forward to kiss Spain’s forehead. Spain rised an eyebrow, but let him be, anyway. He needed help and Russia was eager to help him only receiving some affectionate touches here and there in return. There were worst things he could have had to do.

Another wave of pain drove him crazy sored and let himself drown in the straw bed he had been using before. He took a deep breath. 

Then, when the fever started to be stable again, spoke directly to Russia.

- Well, then, how about a quickie? I have to go back to the battlefield in 30 minutes and I think I could come back quite worse than now, ha ha. –he had laughed, with his shiny –and now tiny- smile.

Russia smiled back, getting rid of his Soviet general military hat while getting closer to the sun-burned skinned nation. He sat, and grabbed the other’s cheeks with a gloved strong hand. That tranquil smile crossed his happy face.

- Let me tell you this is going to be a payment in instalments.