#but yeah. they're just difficult people. a difficult family. and the best way to deal with them is to ABSOLUTELY AVOID THEM

[florida3exclamationpoints]

.

[sunnebeam]

twin flame bruise. (02)

PART 2.

pairing: jeon jeongguk x reader, jeon jungkook x reader (yes they're different people)

plot: the jeon twins have become nothing more than two strikingly similar looking guys who share a mere home address and a last name. but in their senior year of college, the estranged twins may have found one more thing they share in common – you.

warnings: jeon twins au, possible headache bc the use of Jeongguk (nicknamed Guk) and Jung Kook (nicknamed JK) is v confusing, mentions of money laundering, strained family relationships

series index. | masterlist + disclaimers.

note: part 2 is here!!! this will have 8 parts + an epilogue btw! each part will more or less have the same word count as this one (since i still struggle writing long pieces),,, no update schedule, we just chillin' here and writing things when we have the time and energy <3 as always, feedback is highly appreciated!

It’s been a month and a half since Jung Kook last had a good night’s sleep.

But he supposes it could be worse. After all, the bed he’s laying on is decently soft, the pillows are freshly fluffed, and the bedroom he’s occupying doesn’t have that dusty-old-room smell. Yoongi really outdid himself with this one.

“Hey, kid.”

Speak of the devil.

JK turns on his side, his back facing the opened door and the person entering it. He hears another set of footsteps that tells him Namjoon just entered, too. Still, he doesn’t budge.

He knows his being a bit too hard on his two companions, but JK can’t help it.

“I know you’re mad at us…”

He’s not, actually. He’s mad at the situation.

“...and I know you hate this place…”

Not exactly. It’s a decent house. He just prefers his own.

“...but it’s still too dangerous right now. Please understand, kid, we need to hide away for a while. Make things die down a bit before going home.”

Home. He wants to go home. To his apartment. To his bed. To you.

JK sighs. He already had this particular talk with both Yoongi and Namjoon a hundred times already in the past month alone. He doesn’t mean to be so difficult but the situation just frustrates him to no end.

But then again, this is his own fault.

Entering the underground world of money laundering – even as an errand boy at the bottom of the food chain – wasn’t the greatest idea for a side job. But when you’re an impressionable college student mixing in with the wrong crowds, you don’t exactly make the best choices.

What started as a small, risky gig to earn some extra cash turned into an endless cycle of running his clients’ dirty money around different places and concealing them in clean, legal transactions.

He tried hiding his little errands from you but you were too observant for your own good. Though you don’t exactly know what he’s gotten himself into, you do know it’s dangerous. In fact, you told him time and again to get out and get his shit together. But by the time JK finally got his head out of the gutter and tried to leave, he couldn’t.

Because you needed money.

Money has always been a sore spot for you, having struggled financially for as long as you could remember. And yet, not once have you asked for his help nor forced him to put himself in risky situations just to help you out. Unfortunately for you, JK is nothing if not stubborn, and if there’s a way he could help you, he’ll do it.

But this time, though, he fucked up.

“You didn’t fuck up,” Namjoon interrupts his self-deprecating thoughts. “It’s not your fault, JK. Don’t beat yourself up over it.”

But it is his fault. After all, their latest client was dangerous, influential, powerful. This client was not to be messed with, not to be stood up, not to be denied…

…and yet JK backed out of the deal at the last minute.

“You were right to back out,” Yoongi reassures him. “I wasn’t sure about that client, either.”

“You’re just saying that,” JK says.

“I’m not. If you hadn’t called to back out, I probably would’ve. Either way, the man's pissed off so we need to lie low for a bit, yeah? Don’t brood too much."

Yoongi turns and heads out the door, motioning for Namjoon to follow him out, but not before calling out to their younger companion for one last thing.

“You got a good heart, kid. Don’t worry, you’ll get home soon.”

And he will. He just has to hold out a bit more.

He can’t. He can’t hold out any more.

Jeongguk looks at the caller ID with panicked eyes, the incessant ringing of his phone echoing in his ears, and he realizes he can’t put off answering any longer.

Swiping the green button, he holds his phone to his ear and internally hypes himself up, before finally talking to his parents.

“Eomma.”

“Well, hello to you, too,” his mother responds sarcastically. “I was beginning to think we didn’t have a son anymore, with you not answering our calls and your brother giving us the silent treatment.”

His brother.

Guk pinches the bridge of his nose, wondering how he can keep feeding his mother the lie that his twin brother was just in one of his so-called moods and took an impromptu vacation somewhere.

He feels horrible for lying but he also doesn’t want to unnecessarily worry his parents on the fifty-fifty chance that his younger twin really did just take some time to himself without telling anybody. And maybe it makes Guk a terrible brother but he really thinks JK is capable of such a thing – of just going off the grid and not warning anyone.

But that’s the best case scenario.

As for the worst case scenario, the two of you already went to the police station to report his twin as missing. But since the last text he sent was telling you he was going somewhere and explicitly telling you not to follow him, the police couldn’t do much.

Still, Guk is nothing if not thorough, so he takes it upon himself to call in some favors and hire a private investigator. As of now, he’s still waiting for some updates.

“Sorry, Eomma, I’m a bit busy with homework,” Guk tries to placate his mother through the phone but at the mention of the last word, he’s reminded that he actually has company in his apartment right now when Taehyung and Jimin snort at his lame excuse.

“Homework?” his mother repeats. “You work too hard, Gukie,” she sighs. “If only your brother was more like you…”

Again with the comparisons.

“Nah, he’s alright, Eomma,” he defends. “Y’know, he’s not failing his classes, right?”

“Yeah, well, he’s not excelling in his classes, either.”

“He doesn’t have to. Cut him some slack.” At this point, he’s getting tired of the nagging, even though it’s not directed at him. This kind of nagging is the exact reason his parents’ relationship with his younger twin is so strained in the first place. “Anyways, tell Appa I said hi, will you? I gotta go. Bye. Love you.”

He hangs up.

“Damn, Guk,” Jimin sighs. “Still haven’t told your parents?”

“I’ll tell them at some point, okay? I just need to make sure that JK didn’t leave on his own on a whim.”

“You still think that?” Taehyung asks incredulously. “I highly doubt he went missing on his own. Hell, even Y/N doubts that.”

At the mention of your name, Guk can’t help the slight reddening of his cheeks, something his friends immediately notice.

Taehyung smirks. “Looks like someone’s got a crush.”

He doesn’t even bother responding because how could he not have a crush? His growing, albeit awkward, relationship with you is plaguing his thoughts every minute since he met you. In between discussions about his twin’s possible whereabouts, your other conversations allow him to learn more about you, and what he learns is that you’re passionate, driven, diligent – all the good things.

And of course, to top all that off, you’re fucking beautiful, too. It’s no wonder that, despite the unlabeled situationship, his brother fell for you.

Guk just hopes, when all this is over, you’ll give him a chance.

Nope, you won’t give him a chance.

You stare at the customer who has the audacity to only order side dishes and nothing else again. He usually gets away with his request when your boss, Seojoon, is manning the counter. But with you? Nope, you’re not giving him another chance.

"You need to buy more than just pickled radish before I let you eat in this pub," you tell him, arms crossed. Your manager, Yiseo, is at your side, tapping her foot expectantly, her eyebrows raised.

He scoffs.

"Rude," he grumbles. "What if people find out you're turning away customers?"

"You can't be a customer if you only order the free side dishes," Yiseo retorts.

"At least I pay for the rice," he grumbles when a hand lands on his shoulder.

"That you do, Jin," your boss says, inserting himself into the conversation. He then tells Yiseo to cater to another customer who wants more drinks, before turning to you. "Y/N, why don't you prepare Seokjin's food while I show him to his table?"

You sigh, complying with the request and ignoring Jin's annoying smirk directed your way. Well, if Seojoon wants his business to be at a deficit, it's all on him.

Besides, you suppose you owe Jin now since Guk hired him, and being hired to investigate a missing person's whereabouts definitely isn't a walk in the park.

And speaking of Guk…

"Hey, Y/N."

Ah. Right on time.

"Hey, Guk," you greet him, waving your hand stiffly and awkwardly. Yiseo sees your shaky wave from across the pub and teasingly wiggles her eyebrows, but you silently plead with her to not make a comment.

After all, this has already become an everyday occurrence.

Everyday, a few hours before your shift ends, Guk visits the pub and eats with Jin, ordering a generous amount of actual food to compensate for the latter's small meal. Then, later at night after you close up, he walks you home – sometimes updating you on Jin's progress with the case, sometimes just talking to you about anything under the moon.

You've grown closer with him, without a doubt, but you can't deny that you're in an awkward situation – what, with your history involving his twin and all. You cringe internally when you remember the time Seojoon mistook him for JK, much to your embarrassment.

"Seokjin's over there." You point him to the table where the man is eating.

Guk looks at the direction you're pointing to before turning back to you with his eyebrows scrunched. You're about to ask him what's wrong when you see his hand reach towards your face, more specifically, your cheek.

"Eyelash," he says as an explanation, pulling the offending object from your cheek, completely oblivious to how you freeze up at his touch and proximity.

When he finally mumbles a low, "see you later," and heads to Jin's table, Yiseo rushes over to you and gives you a pointed look.

"I see you have a type."

"Please," you whine. "Don't."

She laughs at your expense, patting your shoulder and bumping her hips against yours playfully.

"Y'know," she starts, "you should consider giving him a chance."

"Unnie!"

"What?"

It's your turn to give her a pointed look. "Did you forget he's JK's brother? His twin brother?"

"Yeah, well, your fuckbuddy isn't here, so…" She shrugs. “I don’t see why you can’t ask him on a date.”

You sigh, wrapping your arms around yourself, your eyes downcast. "I can't even afford to go on dates, let alone have time for it."

It's the truth. Dates entail time and money – things you don't have. And it's not like you have any family to help you out, having been orphaned at a young age. You’ve only ever had yourself to rely on. That’s how it’s always been.

"Y/N."

You're pulled out from your thoughts when you see Guk approach you with wide eyes.

"Hey, Guk. Did you want more rice?"

"No. I, uh—" He looks from you to Seokjin who's frantically typing away on his phone back at their table. "Jin and I were just…"

He trails off. You stare at him, waiting.

After what feels like a hundred years, he finally gathers the resolve to tell you the three words you've been wanting to hear.

"We found him."

COPYRIGHT 2023. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

[bobbydagen24]

what are some episode ideas your hoping to see in the next tv show? assuming we do get one.

a few of mine would be.

an episode where JD and Bruce are shown still Butting heads with each other loads in present day annoying the other Bros a lot. and maybe during a Hike out in the woods or something something happens which results in JD and Bruce getting cut off from the others and being lost. leaving them stuck together in the middle of nowhere bickering over the right ways to do things with JD using all his survival skills he picked up but Bruce at first stubbornly refusing to go along with what he says given he doesn't want to admit that following JDs lead might for once be the most logical thing to do in a situation. anyway the episode could lead to them opening up to each other a bit more about their lives after the breakup. Bruce could tell JD about the effect he had on his self confidence and how difficult it actually was for him to learn to relax and not stress over every little thing he did after having him micro manage him for years. and JD could tell him more about his time he spent away from society in the 20+ years basically having no one but Rhonda for company maybe in part because he was too afraid of getting close with people and then ruining things with them like he did with their family. it'd just be good to have a little episode focused on their Rocky dynamic imo.

an episode where Branch is ill and his Brothers try to take care of him. a few other people have had this idea and someone even did a cute fanfic involving Both Kismet and Bro zone fighting over the best way to take care of Branch. but yeah I think the idea simply involving Bro zone coming around one day to find Branch so ill he hasn't left his Bunker and while he acts like its no big deal his Brothers insist on staying with him to look after him. somewhat confusing Branch but he agrees to it since he's too tired to argue with them and over the course of the episode they all lightly bicker and disagree on the right way to take care of him. while also annoying Branch with how much they mess around in his Bunker maybe not putting things back in their right places. I like to imagine this all culminates in Branch getting annoyed with them all and questioning them on what their even doing there and why they're all being so weird. kinda surprising the Brothers as they say looking after someone in the family when their sick is just normal to them. and I like the sad angsty idea of Branch not realising this and being confused by his Brothers behaviour throughout the episode since he's always just dealt with this stuff on his own in the past. kinda making his Brothers a little somber when they Realise this like they knew he'd always been independent but not to this extreme extent that he literally didn't have help even when he needed it.

this isn't really so much an entire episode idea as it just a single plot point I could imagine happening early on. that being at the start of the show Bruce is obviously only just staying in Pop Village for a short night or Two given he has to get back to Vacay. but as a plot point and an easy way to keep all the Brothers in one place for the first season I'd have something happen towards the end of the episode that makes Bruce change his mind and decide to stay in pop village a bit longer after talking it through with Brandi and making sure she'd be fine to cover while he's away. maybe something happens that makes him see things are still pretty complicated between all the brothers and he decides he should stick around a little longer until their in a more stable place.

an episode where same as the popular fan idea Floyd is shown to be claustrophobic and panics after coming out of a small space still having issues from his captivity tho he tries to hide it from other people. but it could be a nice chance for Branch to recognise what's going on with his Brother and try to talk to him about it. tho maybe after some poking and prodding Floyd ends up saying something along the lines of him suddenly having flashbacks or something. feeling like he's right back in that moment feeling helpless and like there's nothing he can do in the face of these towering giants tho Floyd thinks Branch might not understand. and this could be when he tells him exactly how their Grandma died and how helpless he felt witnessing the whole thing as a kid and how he still sometimes is reminded of that day just by ordinary everyday little things. it'd be a kinda cute bonding moment I think.

I've said before I can easily imagine an episode just focusing on Bruce and Branch as well given their vastly opposing personalities. since Bruce tries to be laid back and carefree and of course Branch is so high strung and particular especially tv show Branch. plus Bruce is probably the most Traditionally "" Normal "" out of the Brothers so I could imagine him having problems with crazier Tv Show Branch. like imagine him going over to Vacay to spend more time with Bruce and his kids only for Bruce to be weirded out to see Branch playing a game with the kids involving them having to run around lots tiring themselves out. all so Branch can at the end collect their sweat in his Jars to restock his supply in his Bunker. and when Bruce questions him on what the hell he's doing he says that his kids larger size means their sweat fills up his stocks much much quicker and easier. making it more efficient to use their sweat than his own 😂😂😂😂 and tv show Branch just continues to do stuff like this unnerving and annoying Bruce more and more to the point he eventually asks him to leave using the excuse that he's making their customers uncomfortable. and I like to think later on when talking to Brandi she'd kinda chew him out a little over it pointing out they were seen as weird at first simply for being together. I'm not really sure exactly how this episode would end but I like to think Bruce would see that he kinda just wanted Branch to fit a certain more normal idea he had of his brother. making him realise he's somewhat acting like JD used to. anyway those were a few general ideas I had for episodes I'd like to see if we do get a third show what about you what sorta episode stories would you like to see?

[aingeal98]

Re: your post about Tim vs Steph's treatment as Robin, I've had an inarticulate theory rolling around in my head for a while now that the REAL divider between the relatively uncontroversial robins in mainstream fandom (Tim and Dick) and the controversial, 'bad kid' robins (Steph, Jason and Damian) is- leaving aside social and contextual factors for a minute and just focusing on characterization-...the fact that they're the robins who refuse to lick Batman's wounds, in a sense. They're rarely there to comfort him when he's being an angsty jerk. After all, they're the kid in this relationship, they need his guidance or at least cooperation, why should they go above and beyond when he's being difficult? Versus Dick and Tim who definitely have breaking points with bruce but who sit through a lot of bullshit with the guy and generally consider it their responsibility to make sure he's okay. <- that summary isn't necessarily a 1 to 1 reflection of how each Robin thinks, it's just broad strokes from my pov as a reader btw

Idk, there's probably a better, more comprehensive way to look at it, but I think about this a lot. Like bc Batman is the main character of the whole mythos, good robins are the ones who kiss his booboos, and bad robins are the ones who need that kind of comfort and patience for themself.

I think there's a lot of textual evidence backing this up tbh. Dick and Tim are without a doubt the "parentified" Robins who consider it their responsibility to deal with Batman's bullshit as opposed to making Batman deal with them. And there's nothing inherently wrong with displaying the different roles children end up filling in toxic families but far too many writers glorify it as a good thing. A thing that makes a Robin Good and Smart and it's like well no! The people buying into his bullshit and enabling him the most are actually doing the least good in terms of healthy long term growth for Batman! And that's fine if you're writing batman as a cycle of abuse forever spiralling and getting worse but when the narrative clearly thinks licking his boots is the right thing to do and anyone that doesn't is silly and childish and not fit to be a hero... Yeah it's sucks.

Like stories where batman does something incredibly cruel and stupid that makes everyone doubt him (instead of just. Communicating.) and then his plan ends up working and all the Robins and heroes that defended Batman for being an asshole are hyped up by the narrative because WE never doubted Batgod! He always knows best! Yeah I hate those stories.

So yeah, fully agree with your analysis. Thanks for the ask!

[guzhufuren]

I don't know if I am alone in this. I know the series is in Xiaobao's pov mostly and he's a bit unable to see the bad in people, but Im a bit frustrated that a lot of viewers seem to see Suyin as the good guy when I also find him slimey and manipulative.

Like Huaien is toxic af but he is pretty open and upfront about who he is as a person. He displays his emotions rather openly with Xiaobao (including the rage lol)

Suyin is all smiles and good intentions, he meams the best but has also been constantly lying to Xiaobao, manipulating him, taking credit for things he didn't do. I see him distill information to people around him in a way that benefits him and how he sees is best. He leaves very little agency to Xiaobao, has his friends and family lie to him or hide the truth (i was scandalised when jinbao took Suyin's side as opposed to Xiaobao and participated in hiding the truth. I know he's a little dumb but i thought loyalty would outweigh this). He never gives him a big picture and lets him make choices for himself. He is VERY controlling in a way that I find more extreme than Huaien?

He has a nicer attitude and would not physically hurt xiaobao but I find him just as toxic, just in a different way? He doesn't grab Xiaobao by the neck but he does create an invisible cage for him to stay in (I am not talking about staying inside because of the poison, i mean he controls him in more subtle ways in general). He has to deal with difficult situations regarding xiaobao but he does it in a way that excludes xiaobao from having control.

Suyin has the best intentions but damn his methods are infuriating. Xiaobao is just "lucky" he's on Suyin's good side.

That being said, Huaien is far from better as a person. They're fucked up in different ways. But yeah I just am a bit irked by slimey Suyin.

The only person who gave him agency while he was at Suyin's was the doctor.

that's interesting!! i don't agree with all, but with some parts i do, lemme get in this

i don't think Su Yin is slimey or manipulative. in my eyes he is a man in power in a period setting, which right away makes it impossible for him to be a good guy, he is kind of righteous but with some wrong ways about it. he loves his family deeply and Jins are absolutely a part of his family

i haven't been able to see any romantic feelings between Su Yin and Xiaobao at all, ever, i see them as a possessive older brother and his little brat didi, who were all at each other's throats in first episodes but now that shit hit the fan they are keeping close and became nicer, as it usually is with with siblings in real life who have this kind of relationship dynamic

so the thing about Su Yin is that he cares about his didi deeply and wants him to be happy. and when Huaien came in the picture he first became a bit possessive and concerned, then when Xiaobao got hurt he turned into "break up with your goddamn abusive boyfriend, i will kill him for you" bestie. he means well, but he has a very narrow picture of Huaien and doesn't know everything about their relationship. to him it's all about protecting Xiaobao from a toxic relationship that he thinks is already over (and killing Huaien in return for Shaoyu's flower, two birds with one stone)

at the moment i'm "friendship with Su Yin is over" even if he is a hot ass daddy at all times, but i believe he will get back on my good side in next episodes

[itsclydebitches]

Oh man that was a doozy of an episode. I'll write a proper recap when I get to it, but I want to throw out some initial thoughts while it's fresh.

Warning, copious salt ahead.

The Jaune vs. Ruby fight... honestly, I'm way more Team Jaune here. Look, obviously Ruby is going through a very difficult time right now but 1. Jaune is not privy to most of that (he doesn't get to see her awful flashbacks like the audience does) and 2. He's been going through a "very difficult time" for several decades. He literally just watched a whole village of friends DIE because he helped defend Ruby against Neo's attack, right on the heels of her and the others completely dismissing that relationship. I literally don't care who's right about the tree, I care that our huntress heroes balked at the idea of spending even one day protecting defenseless civilians that were clearly very important to their friend WHILE he did all the dangerous work of looking for a way out for them all (the best of both worlds!). Then they had the gall to smile at him after he watched them perish and go, "They're not dead. It's what they wanted :)" They don't know that! Yang literally admitted just moments ago that they do not know what happens at the tree, but now they're 100% sure that the paper people have resurrected into a better state because that's a nice, simple narrative. Even if they were sure of what happens, that's still a terribly difficult loss to deal with. As they saw with the Prince, people can come back from the tree COMPLETELY different, with little of their original personalities intact. If that's not a kind of death I don't know what is.

I hate that Yang responds with, "Hate that!" when they learn that Jaune did them the honor of keeping them close, bestowing all their names onto his new family. I hate that they can't put themselves in his shoes for longer than a few seconds and jump straight to him being "crazy." I hate that they're lost and aimless in this world, Jaune has spent a lifetime mapping its secrets, and yet they decide that they can't count on him. Why? Because he failed to have an easy answer ready when they needed it and has failed to hide that - surprise - things have been difficult for the lifetime he's been fighting alone. As he himself says: how dare I fail to solve all our problems.

Toss in the fact that we've had eight Volumes of Ruby demanding leadership at every turn, displaying full confidence in front of Jaune and reassuring him that yes, she knows what she's doing. I have soooo many problems with how Jaune is written, but my god, looking at things from a purely in-world perspective, he has EVERY right to be pissed as hell at her. Ruby promised she knew what she was doing. Jaune defended her decisions to Ren. He was put into a position where (according to RWBY's "logic") he had to kill a friend. Then he's dropped into a horrific alternate reality - a result of Ruby's failed plan - and yet spends his life waiting for her return. He devotes himself to her: looking for her, trying to find a way out for her, keeping her weapon safe for her, naming a new friend after her, and yes, protecting people like she helped teach him to. Obviously the others are all a part of that too, but at its core Jaune has spent decades following Ruby's leadership, despite how badly it failed him.

And then what? After all those YEARS what does he see when they finally reunite? A Ruby who is ungrateful to have her weapon back, is dismissive of his life here, stands uselessly while the others fight the battle for her (again, Jaune can't see inside Ruby's head), and then when defending her results in the DEATH of his village? How does she respond?

"What about me?"

Ohhhh my god, girl!! Yeah, yeah, no one gets to plan their breakdown, but I was still seriously side-eyeing her "Is this a bad time for you?" Yes, Ruby, it is a bit of a bad time because a village of people just died and you're only concerned with how hard your own life is. Read the room a little? Jaune's "It's all about you!" was so satisfying, though his immediate apology afterwards was not. Honestly, let Ruby sit with this, please. As I've said this whole Volume, she'd have a leg to stand on if she'd actually been forced into this war: if Ozpin had manipulated her into joining Beacon, if fighting had been a necessity due to her silver eyes, if the adults around her hadn't said at every single turn: 'Stop wresting control you're not ready for and let us carry the load.' But she didn't. It's all about Ruby because Ruby MADE IT all about her, so no... to my mind she doesn't get to turn around and start complaining that others expect something of her. Especially when the expectations are so low like Jaune's, 'Can you maybe consider that I've been through hell for several decades, respect the life I've built here, and be grateful for what someone is offering you rather than complaining that things aren't perfect right off the bat?'

This episode was so weird for me because on the one hand it gave me a LOT that I've been looking for, but on the other hand it highlighted how much I've come to dislike the four main girls. Why are they disgusted with Jaune bestowing their names on new friends? Why do they dismiss him despite everything he's accomplished? Why does Yang plant herself in front of Blake when her baby sister is being mildly critical of her? (Plus, I'm really not a fan of this droopy-eared, people pleaser Blake. Bring back the fierce, opinionated fighter she used to be.) At least we're staying consistent with the group turning on each other and assuming they'll be attacked at the slightest provocation (yay Volume 6 callback). I made a note in my last recap that I loved the girls enjoying the chess battle together and that's largely because most of the time they don't act like friends, let alone family. WBY have been nothing but critical and dismissive of Ruby since they landed here. None of them have any real sympathy to offer Jaune. As much as I disagree with her overall stance in the face of what's happened, Ruby's "We're so happy for you" to Blake/Yang and her "Shut up" when Blake tries another stupid platitude were great. Thanks, sis, for only paying attention to your girlfriend lately and no thanks, Blake, you already kept me from trying to come up with a practical solution once this Volume. Another, "Things are bad, but..." isn't going to cut it anymore. They ALL treat each other so badly nowadays and I'm shocked whenever we get a group hug that supposedly conveys how much they truly love one another. Can't you all just be nice with more frequency? More of that wholesome support seen in the chess fight over the stupid gags, please.

(Actually, that's a big compliment I just thought of: the episode didn't interrupt the intensity of that fight with another joke. Great job.)

Of course, we're already seeing the seeds of the quick forgiveness: Jaune's immediate apology, Blake trying to be optimistic, all of them staring in concern as Ruby flies away. It looks like the writers have a general sense of the show's criticism, but not why that criticism exists. Yes, Ruby has gone through a lot and she has plenty of reasons to be frustrated and disappointed with her team, but Jaune is still right. I don't think the show is ever going to get that. Ruby has been positioned as the victim this entire Volume, the poor soul "forced" to shoulder this responsibility, everyone offer her comfort and sympathy with no acknowledgement of how this all came about... and having one (1) character say, 'No. You fucked up' doesn't change that underlying narrative. Jaune is just the new Ren, allowed to briefly pull back the curtain on Ruby's leadership, only to almost immediately pull it back. If anything, the fact that Ruby is upset at being leader just offers another layer of protection.

Ruby: I want to make the decisions!

Someone: We don't think that's a good idea, but it's kinda hard to stop you... Wait. Your decisions are bad.

Ruby: Excuse me? Don't you know how hard making decisions is? How can you criticize me when you don't know what it's like? I'm the victim here!

Ruby as a character is pretty impervious to real criticism now because everything she's ever done falls under the header of "The Leader." Once you position her as the victim of unwanted leadership (which again, she's not) it automatically absolves her of true responsibility. She never would have made bad decisions if she hadn't been forced to make all the decisions in the first place, ergo you're the problem for dragging this poor girl who was only trying to make the best of a terrible situation! Meanwhile I'm just

[gestures to Ruby eagerly agreeing to go to Beacon early]

[gestures to her arc where she rose to the challenge of being team leader]

[gestures to the fact that leadership/teams were kinda dissolved outside of Beacon and people only kept looking to Ruby because she demanded to be heard]

[gestures to her hunting down Cinder against Qrow's advice]

[gestures to "This is my fight too!"]

[gestures to her insisting on Jaune's stolen airship plan against Qrow's advice (again)]

[gestures to "We never needed adults to solve our problems!"] [gestures to her solely making the decision to lie to Ironwood and ignoring her teammate's disagreements]

[gestures to her being the face of hope for all of Remnant]

[gestures to her awful plan that made Penny human, forgot Cinder, and deliberately destroyed a Kingdom]

[gestures to the fact that Jaune is ALSO a team leader and ALSO has a personal grudge against the baddies and has ALSO spent longer than twice Ruby's lifetime playing the part of a literal #Hero trying desperately to keep people safe, only for her to show up, endanger his new family, not fight, and then the rest of her team tries to platitude their way through a 'It's not that bad' response to their deaths]

Man, if I were John I would have had a LOT more to say to this girl and her "What about me?" attitude alfkjasflajfds

[levbolton]

Blue Period Chapter 64

Scans and Rough Translation

Disclaimer: I DO NOT consent to using this translation for scanlation! I am not fluent in Japanese, I use Google Lens and Deepl/Google Translate to translate this, so sometimes stuff can be faulty or unclear. Besides, Impromptu Scanlations do their best with their scanlations. There's a simulpub, but kodansha decided they should keep it to US only and most of us do not live in US (and those that do don't share the translation bruh)

I am translating it this way because no one keeps up with the story and it feels lonely to be the only one reading it. You can obviously take bits form here to discuss, but do not use it for scanlation without my consent. If I see any I will immediately stop translating and you’ll get back to square 1

Scans are here

Translation 64

P1 : Title

You, send.

The blue continues. (Great start I don’t really know what it is supposed to mean)

君を、送る。

青は続く。

Art reference: Un enterrement à Ornans by Gustave Courbet

P2

Kanie: I'm here to collect all of Machiko Sanada's pieces.

Murai: Ha? What?

Murai: I didn't hear anything about that.

Murai: What? What? has the Kanie Gallery finally started doing things this way?

Kanie: ?

P3

Kanie: Listen... are you available?

Kanie: Well, you seem angry, don't you?

Kanie: You know...

Card: Machiko Sanada exhibition. ~ The genius girl painter who became a real deal/an angel.

Kanie: You can come, but don't get violent.

Kanie: Of course, I've already got permission from all the relatives.

Kanie: No wonder you don't know.

P4

Kanie: You're just friends, aren't you?

Hachiro: When did you decide?

Hachiro: When I talked to Sanada-san's mother last week...

Kanie: Let's see, the day before yesterday, or the day before that?

Kanie: Three years ago... The exhibition she was planning on doing before she died went bye-bye. I was about to give up on it, but...

Kanie: But then Machiko's paintings became a hot topic on SNS.

Phone screen: The artist died when she was 18. God takes geniuses with him.

Sound effect: I see.

P5

“Machiko's paintings...”

"They love her so much..."

Murai: ... What? SNS...

But her mother...

“She wouldn't want it to be like this”

“She wants you to be with someone who cares about you.”

(she probably meant she wanted people to care when she was alive)

P6

Yakumo: You're a miser!

Hachiro: Yakumo!

Yakumo: All he cares about is making money!

Yakumo: Are you happy that Sanada's dead and the sale price went up? Yeah?

Yakumo: Fucking hijacker!

P7

Kanie: After ten years, most of the paintings are worth two or three thousand dollars.

Kanie: Idiot.

Kanie: You guys must think you're doing something great, don't you?

Kanie: When you die, you get a fixed number of works for the rest of your life, so the relative value of your work goes up.

P8

Kanie: There are only a handful of artists like that.

Kanie: In fact, they almost always go down.

Kanie: There are artists who get recognition after they're dead.

Kanie: But there are artists who were very successful during their lifetime, have their prices dropping.

Kanie: Artistic value is determined over a period of 50 years.

Kanie: But 50 years...

Kanie: In other words, it's difficult to find a place that will value your work for 50 years.

Kanie: It takes a lot of space and money to store a painting.

Kanie: Even if it's a good painting for the person who buys it, it doesn't mean that the family who inherits it will share its value.

Words: Trend, Humidity, Sunlight, Location

P9

Kanie: incidentally

Kanie: Machiko Sanada's paintings didn't change in price between her life and death.

Guy in the background: President.

Kanie: It's okay, I've got the permit.

Kanie: Our job is to make the work worth the most and deliver it to the people who cherish it.

 Yakumo.

Kanie: Put your feelings aside.

Kanie: Are you going to turn mellow wine into vinegar?

P10

Yakumo: …

Kanie: good grief

Kanie: Galleries don't bring in any money.

Kanie: Fucking kids.

Momo: We’ll be late

Shall we go?

P11

Hachiro: ... Yes ... Yes ...

Hachiro: No, what mother decides is best.

Sound: Bleep.

P12

Yakumo: Maybe if we were a family (as in married I think?)

Yakumo: I'd have the right to tell him.

Momo: But we're friends.

Yakumo: But... But...

Box1: We're friends.

Box2: I feel so powerless.

P13

Hachiro: I see... Sales...

Hachiro: Yakumo will miss her paintings.

Hachiro: ...but I wonder if it will force him to get back on her feet.

Hachiro: Yakumo didn't even come to Machiko's funeral.

Yotasuke: What?

Hachiro: When someone you love dies, it means that one part of your daily routines disappears...

We're here.

Register: Those who have applied to the AOJ, please fill in this form and proceed.

P14

Yatora: Surprisingly ordinary warehouse...

Hachiro: There are no regulations on the size of the works, so this is probably all that's needed.

Yatora: Wow...

Yatora: I'm getting nervous now.

Hachiro: What's going on now?

Yatora: I've seen other works and I start to feel it...

P15

Yatora: So this is where I'm being delivered.

Yatora: Come to think of it, Hacchan seems to have finished early.

Yatora: What kind of...

Yatora: !

Yatora: An abstract painting? It looks like he put a brush on a cleaning robot and moved it...

But I don't have the image of Hacchan as a painter, so maybe the cleaning robot did it for real...

…!

Yatora: Yakumo-san...

P16-17 double spread

P18

Yatora: That…

Yatora: I knew right away.

P19

Yatora: It is a floral service.

Secretary:  Okay, we'll be judging in a week's time.

Secretary: We'll be streaming it on TUBE, so please do watch it, and we'll be in touch with the winners shortly afterwards.

P20

Hachiro: Uh-oh.

Hachiro: Mr. Kanie cleaned up the whole place...

Yotasuke: He left something...

Momo: It's a postcard for Machiko's exhibition! They're having a reception party.

Yatora: What's that?

Momo: A party for the people involved in the exhibition, right?

Momo-yota-yatora: The date is... One week later!

Hachiro: Mr. Kanie's been preparing for this for a long time.

P21

Hachiro: Well, I'm not keen on it, but I might just turn up.

Momo: It's been four long years. ~~~~~~

Yotasuke: Yaguchi-san?

Yatora: What?

Yatora: Oh...

Yakumo: Aaah! Aaah! Aaah!

Yakumo: Don't look at me. Go do whatever you want.

Yakumo: I'm watching the AOJ's trial feed.

Yakumo: They don't even know what the work is about. It's just a shitty exhibition.

P22

Hachiro: Well, Yakumo's right... Machiko's work is different from the type of artists Kanie Gallery usually deals with.

Hachiro: Maybe the Kanie’ customers won't be interested...

Sign: Kanie Gallery

P23

Yatora: Are there more galleries in Hiroshima?

Hachiro: Oh, no?

Women: I'm from Wakayama, I saw it on social media and thought it was a really nice painting...

Hachiro: I see.

Momo: I saw it on a social media and thought it was a very good picture.

Yakumo(‘s phone): This year's AOJ has started slowly, hasn't it?

Receptionist: Yaguchi Yatora-sama, isn't it?

Receptionist: Please have a drink from over there.

P24

Momo’s dad: Are you sure you didn't want to go with the others?

Momo’s dad: It was Machiko's big day.

Yakumo: You wouldn't want me to get into trouble, would you, kakinokizaka-san?

Momo’s dad: That would be a problem.

Momo’s dad: When he came to collect the paintings the other day, I got a call from Mr. Kanie. but I wondered if he'd already told you guys.

Momo’s dad: Now, this is Kenji Hachiro's work... (I think he rather meant responsibility???)

・・・・・・

P25

Momo’s dad: Hey, Yakumo-kun.

Momo’s dad: A lot has happened since Machiko passed away, hasn't it?

Yakumo: I never thought the three of us would pass the exam together.

Momo’s dad: Me too. I mean, no one thought so.

Yakumo: What's the matter? Are you trying to cheer me up?

Momo’s dad: Yakumo-kun, getting over something isn't a bad thing.

P26

Yakumo: You don't seem to understand, do you?

Momo’s dad: Funerals.

Momo’s dad: Maybe it's the ego of the living, but it's precisely because we humans can share something invisible that we can all interpret death together, accept it or let it go.

P27

Yakumo: In other words?

Momo’s dad: I mean, you know, I was thinking about moving on away.

Yakumo: ...? A postcard?

Postcard: Murai, I'll be waiting.  Sanada Machiko Solo Exhibition

Bubble: A postcard from the exhibition three years ago, which did not take place, addressed to you.

P28-29 double spread

Bubble: I think she wanted you to come and see it.

P30

Box: Amazing...

P31

Box: Egoistic.

Box: A strong picture that leaves no room for others.

Box: It's much stronger than the one I saw in the warehouse.

? - There you go.

P32

Kanie: So Yakumo didn't come after all?

Kanie: How's it going? It's a nice painting, isn't it? Sold out on the first day.

Kanie: Machiko Sanada's paintings only look good in the exhibition space.

Kanie: I understood the meaning of her persistence in the exhibition through this exhibition.

Yatora: I see…

Box: But for all that...

P33

Women: How could someone who paints such good pictures...

Women: She was... She was young, wasn't she?

Women: God is... really...

Dude: Hey!

Dude: Have you been on social networking sites too?

Dude: Sanada and I went to middle school together!

Dude: Sanada was a weird kid, but she was always really good at drawing...

Dude: Here's my graduation album from junior high school...

? - Hey...

P34

Yakumo: I know who you are, too.

Dude: Uh... friend of mine? You're a friend of mine?

Yatora: Mr Yakumo! You came?

Yakumo: Wow, so many people.

Yatora: Sanada-san's painting is amazing.

Yakumo: Hmm...

Yatora: What's going on?

Bubble: It's even better than when I saw it in the warehouse...

P35

Yakumo: It's a terrible exhibition. ~~~~~

Yatora: It's...

Hachiro: Yakumo ....?

Yatora: This is bad! It's a bad sign!

Yakumo: That woman...

P36

Yakumo: She just liked to draw, and it just happened that she drew good pictures.

Yakumo: Only to die at 18.

Yakumo: So what's this, "a genius girl painter who became an angel/real deal"?

Bubble: Who the hell is that?

P37

Kanie: So Yakumo's here...

Kanie: You can go home.

Hachiro: Yakumo.

Hachiro: Let's not... at Machiko's exhibition...

Yakumo: No, no, no, you can't stand it either, can you, Hacchan?

Yakumo: As soon as she died, they dramatized it.

Yakumo: Her drawings are eloquent, but she was just a quiet person.

Yakumo: I wonder why it's selling so well after all this time.

Yakumo: That's funny.

P38

Yakumo: If you pity her so much, buy her when she's alive!

Yakumo: Then maybe she'd be more...

Yakumo: Whaaaatttt?

Yakumo: Don't touch.../leave me alone

Kanie: You're ruining the mood.

Kanie: Go home.

P39

Talking: Call the police. ....?

Talking: What to do...

Hachiro: Let's go home. Let's go home.

Momo: Hacchan…

Hachiro: We're sorry for the trouble we caused you.

Hachiro: I will tell him to be more careful (something like this)

?- That’s unnecessary…

?- Hachiro-san...

P40

Machiko’s mom: Machiko must have made some good friends.

Bubble: Yes, she did.

P41

ha ha ha (laughing loudly)

Momo: Look! Look at this!

Phone: There was a man who was verbally abusing Machiko Sanada at her exhibition, it was terrible. Arrest him!

Hachiro: Yakumo. He's getting shit on social networking sites.

Yakumo: Hey, stop Ego-surfing!

Yatora: Ah, that middle school classmate...

P42

Momo: I can understand how Yakumo feels! I knew a lot of people who'd never even heard of Machiko.

Hacchan: Even the caption was, "What? Who?" It's a bit overdramatic.

Yakumo: Then, why don't you say so on the spot?

Momo: I'm an adult.

Hachiro: I'm an adult.

Bubble: If I were you, I'd retaliate in a way that wouldn't be noticed.

Yakumo: Oh, shit.

P43

Yakumo: No more paintings by that artist...

Yakumo: I've been drawing ~~~~ for a long, long time...

Yakumo: Every time I draw, every time I aim for something, I can't help thinking of her...

Yakumo: But it was fine...

P44

Yakumo: I've only known her for a few months.

Yakumo: That's fucked up.

Yakumo: I'd rather let my feelings die than be with her.

Yatora: What can you do with a person who draws like that?

Yatora: I’d think they’re too cool.

Yakumo: Ah?!

Yakumo: I think so too!

Yakumo: Right! She's so cool!

P45

Yakumo Oh, well, I'll just watch the rest of the AOJ feed.

Hachiro: Don't drink!

Hachiro: Thank goodness... Yakumo seems to be on the road to recovery.

Yotasuke: Hey...

Yotasuke: Why does he have to get back on his feet?

Yotasuke: .... What? What's wrong with Murai-san?

P46

Yotasuke: It's okay to live with that grief for the rest of your life.

P47

Yakumo: ... What?

Yakumo: I see.

Bubble: I can carry this sadness with me for the rest of my life.

Brush: Sanada

The wounds don't need to heal.

I will not forget you.

End of 64th stroke.

Next time: the results of the AOJ!

24th August 2023

[pidges-lost-robot]

I see a lot of fanfic about the trope of the team meeting a planet of empaths but it's always just been in the pushing Keith and Lance's relationship way but like I want an episode where they go a planet of empaths who very much revere the concept of love and are in the middle of a holiday celebrating it and the team presumes its gonna be like a valentines thing but it turns out that the celebration of every kind of positive love and explores some of the Paladins dynamics as well as exploring what would happen if you put these space traumatised weirdos on a planet where they feel pressured to make a good impression full of citizens that can just read all of their feelings.

Like Shiro really struggling and trying to not seem like he's avoiding the people reading his emotions cause he's got such a complex about not putting those feelings onto anyone he doesn't have to. He tries to get around being read and has to come to terms with the idea that sometimes there just isn't a way to constantly protect others from the things about you that might be difficult to understand and that in certain situations you may even find yourself safe to just breathe and let that worry go for a while.

Pidge kind of coming to terms with the idea that yes she loves and misses her family after she's found them out in space but finding out from the empaths that she loves the paladins now similarly, she's come to kind of love the Paladins as her found family too and how this fits into place with her family, if it fits in. Many types of people can be important to you throughout your life and feeling guilty or like you're prioritising the love of some of them over others isn't worth the stress.

Hunk kind of worrying about how much of his worry is coming across to these people and trying to hide that he's anxious, thinking he play it off to them all as like jittery excitement and finding that to avoid it passing along, he has to actually deal with it and work on it. Anxiety is difficult to come to terms with but the best way to reduce it is to find ways you can manage it, you can build up that control.

Lance having to deal with when the planet is attacked whether they can feel what he's feeling when he's trying to protect them and being so used to hiding his darker feelings that he doesn't know what to do when they're just on display regardless of whether he wants them to be and worrying that it'll make them distrust him for feeling that way. Sometimes it's inevitable that you'll have darker thoughts, but they don't make up all you are, and having them does not make you scary or incapable of relating to others.

And yes some Keith having feelings for Lance and not knowing how to cope with it because to him it just feels so heavy and worrying to carry around in their situation and having one of the inhabitants reassure him that yes it can be heavy, but some times you can just enjoy love as a good feeling you can have about a good person and that if he wishes for right now, than that's all it has to be.

I also just love the idea that initially they're all like "yeah I mean it's not telepathy what harm could it do" but internally they're all shitting themselves with nerves

[aita-blorbos]

AITA for helping try and destroy the world (and also lying about it)

(I realize this is absolutely gonna put me on blast in some corners of the multiverse, but I don't think it matters anymore. Anyone who'd know who I am probably hates me already, which is fair.)

OK, so, there's this guy (adult M), we're gonna call him R. I (adult F) met R several years ago, when he got me out of a difficult situation, saving my life in the process. I didn't have anywhere to go and wanted to return the favor, so I decided to travel with him. He was out looking for his fiancee, "E" (adult F), because…I'm still not entirely sure how the whole thing went down, but his dad didn't approve of her, and he was a pretty big deal magically, so he...cursed her, or something like that? And R thought he could find where his dad sent E if he just kept looking for long enough.

Except, that didn't work out. Time passed, R just kept getting sadder and sadder, and I'm not the comforting type, I'm no good at stuff like that, I did my best to help him however I could but he needed E, not me.

There's this super-magical book of prophecies that generations of his family had been guarding, because it contained information on how all worlds were gonna inevitably be destroyed and could kinda kick-start that whole process. I think he thought he might be able to find her location written in there? But either way, he left one day, grabbed the book, and went completely AWOL, deciding that the worlds had no meaning and he was gonna fulfill the world-ending prophecy. I know that sounds bad, but I swear, it was the book that drove him insane, he never would've done anything like that normally! His whole personality changed! I could barely even recognize him! It wasn't his fault OK?!

…Anyway.

R was a magical powerhouse, especially with the book, but I'm more of a specialist. So, we recruited a few people the book mentioned into a small organization to help us. The elevator pitch was that R was gonna destroy the worlds and create better ones in their place, and these guys bought it. They got really excited and were absolutely willing to defend us and help kick the prophecy in gear (because apparently, multiversal annihilation has some weirdly specific prerequisites). R oversaw them, and I did admin work and some HR + recruitment on the side.

Thing is, I knew better the whole time, but I just sort of…let it all happen. I'm not gonna say I didn't do some other pretty nasty stuff, because I did, that's not in question here. But I let these people sincerely believe, with all the enthusiasm in the worlds, that this was for some kind of greater good and that they weren't just leading themselves to their own deaths. I think they even started to think of us all as friends, which I definitely wasn't planning on, but I kept perpetuating this lie and doing my job without saying a word against it, even after I started getting attached.

…Long story short, E wound up still being alive, R got together with her and they stopped the end of the world with the power of true love. Great, I guess, but the circumstances led to them both ending up…somewhere else and I don't think they're ever coming back. I haven't really spoken to my coworkers since then because I don't know how to, and I keep wondering if I could've prevented this whole mess and if he'd still be here if I'd tried a little harder. Should I have made a better argument? Been a better friend to him while he was hurting so he wouldn't have gone for the book? Should I have told the others the truth? Or, his magic is way stronger than mine, but maybe I could've at least tried to overpower him? I don't know. I did try to talk some sense into him once, after we realized E was still alive, but he got really intense about it and I just…caved, because I made a promise to help him and I wasn't about to back out of it.

So, yeah. TL;DR my closest friend went insane and tried to destroy the world, got some innocent people mixed up in it under false pretenses, and I helped/didn't try to stop it, AITA

(And you'd better not go around blaming him for this, OK?)

[according2thelore]

1, 5, 6, 7, 9, 11, 13, and 15 for "He Lives For Me, Says He Lives For Me"

Sorry for sending yet another ask lol, I'm just so curious about the creation of this fic. It's so good and is such an interesting concept/version of events that I want to know what went on in your yalls brains while making this!

hihihi!

EEK! i'm SO excited you asked about this one! this one is one of the fics i'm proudest of (+ some of my favourite charlotte art!), but it didn't get as much traction as my other fics. so i am so excited to yap about it now!!!

1: What inspired you to write the fic this way?

one of my favourite samdean AUs is normallife!AU because yeah!! they are really weird like that! "weird about each other" means weird about each other in EVERY TIMELINE BABEY! it's also fun to see their dysfunction in an average environment, and how people react to two brothers who are Just Like That.

5: What part was hardest to write?

the hardest part to write was definitely the resolution post-meltdown. for sam and dean normally, they take incest pretty hard, lol. so to get these two brothers that have not lived at the fringes of "normative" society and resolve their emotions in a satisfying way was difficult. the blow-up (post-blowjob, haha) was pretty easy to write, but i had a hard time making the resolution of the story feel emotionally satisfying. because they had to dust themselves off and walk home after something completely life-shattering.

they deal with most things with a kind of bitter humour in the show, so i chose a dash of that with more emotional transparency, because they haven't been raised as rough/life-or-death as show sam and dean.

6: What makes this fic special or different from all your other fics?

i think the AU is the most different part about it! and while they're both teenagers, it's also my only underage fic (as of this moment) so i knew that would automatically disqualify it for a lot of folks, which i can understand. it operates pretty differently from my other samdean fics, because they aren't supposed to behave 1:1 like they would in the show, as their entire environment is different.

7: Where did the title come from?

the title came from "semi-charmed life" by third eye blind, which was released earlier in the year that the party takes place (February vs October '97). so conceivably, and given the subject matter of the song (a drug bender), it would be played at a high school party that year! i did a STUPID amount of song research for this fic, and i will revisit all of that in #13!

i chose it specifically because it talks about being obsessed with someone when you're young--in a predominantly physical, but also emotional, way. this lyric was VERY much codependent and obsessed, which i thought was pretty spot-on for sam and dean. i thought it was fitting!

9: Were there any alternate versions of this fic?

no, actually! this didn't change much from the conception to the finished product. for the october challenge, i actually plotted this one first because i was so excited about it. (i even wrote the blowjob scene first in my notes app bc a few lines of dialogue stuck in my head and i wanted to write them down before i could forget.) it was intended to be a little more light-hearted than it ended up being, but there's not really a way to write two brothers in a completely normal social situation deciding to commit incest and deal with it normally afterwards, lmao.

11: What do you like best about this fic?

i was most happy with their dynamic in this fic. it was challenging to write an AU!sam&dean and keep their obsession with each other in a way that felt natural, but i thought their background was fun! i think dean would develop sam-centric if he had even an ounce of the hero worship/responsibility that he gets in the show. i liked their family dynamic/history and their own dynamic/history in this fic! i enjoyed writing that the most, as well as the lead-up to the kiss. it's frantic and it's devoted and it's messy! overall: the emotion of this fic. i think i did a good job!

i also think it has a pretty decent blowjob scene? i LOVE either boy in lingerie, so i hope i did them justice!

13: What music did you listen to, if any, to get in the mood for writing this story? Or if you didn’t listen to anything, what do you think readers should listen to to accompany us while reading?

okay! this fic is very song-heavy, and i did a bit of research on songs that came out in the past 1-3 years before '97, because those songs would be the most popular at a high school party. so here are a few that i listened to or are mentioned in the fic:

around the world by daft punk

semi-charmed life by third eye blind

a significant portion of nimrod by green day, specifically worry rock (bc sam is a little alternative, and this song is VERY MUCH canon!samdean) (i even looked up the day of the week the album came out to make sure dean could take him on a school day)

tha crossroads by bone thugs-n-harmony (bc haha)

the monster mash by bobby "boris" pickett and the crypt-kickers & calling all the monsters by china anne mcclain (bc halloween, the latter of course being a more recent song and not in the fic)

wannabe by the spice girls

mmmbop by hanson

pony by genuwine (which was BIG summer '97)

15: What did you learn from writing this fic?

besides the billboard top-100 of '96-'97, i learned i need to work on interim action! i found myself really speeding through the party because i wanted dean in his eyeliner and skirt to walk in, and it felt very lop-sided and rushed while i was trying to establish characters/events at this party. i need to get better at pacing! i also learned i was way more into the way noise is muffled under a skirt/how emotionally intimate&vulnerable it is if you're under there than i thought. huh! i also really want to see sam with smeared lipstick. new things all over!

(send me one of my fics and i'll answer some questions!)

thank you for sending this one!!!!!! it's one of my faves for absolute sure. please send as many asks as you'd like! i always smile when i see you in our inbox! :)

-lizzy

[houseofbrat]

"When that moment comes, everyone will have wished King Charles III would have lived to at least 90 so that they wouldn't have had to deal with the Spencer ego problems of his eldest son"

Do you think that when people change their mind about William they will actually blame it on the Spencer side? Most people now blame any fault William might have on Charles (when they're willing to admit he has faults) and I'm not sure what would have people turn on Diana after all this time to blame her over Charles?

[related post]

(ask from 11 June 2023)

I tend to think at that point in the future, say fifteen years from now, it'll be difficult (or more difficult) to pin William's problems on Charles because Charles doesn't behave the way William is going to behave a) as king and b) as king in public.

William basically avoids regular royal duties at this point. He is very firmly a celebrity activist first and foremost, even though many of his diehard fans cannot admit that. Every now and then, William does a more regular, "bread & butter" royal engagement, but those are pretty few and far between these days, particularly if you start looking at the court circular.

I expect William over the rest of this decade to continue on that path, and I expect that his poll numbers will gradually drop over time. Not to Andrew's poll levels, but I suspect he's already seen & achieved the highest poll levels of his life as of today.

William's initiatives with his foundation may be thoughtful and well-meaning; however, that's not the problem. The problem is that he doesn't do regular royal engagements that are associated with the general UK public, i.e. those who are not associated with any of his direct causes. Over time and over the next few years, the perception amongst the UK public will be that you cannot matter to the heir to the throne or the "future" of the monarchy unless you are homeless, suffering from mental health, a footballer, or a special environmental campaigner.

When William is king, he cannot focus on these things like he is right now. His day-to-day life focuses on the issues he cares about. Visiting a nursing home, factory, or university that is not associated with one of his causes is something he doesn't really do. Which means he's not practiced at all in talking to Brits outside of his chosen interests.

Sharp contrast with Charles, Anne, Edward, and Sophie, who visit all kinds of places. Charles & Anne particularly are known for visiting a wide range of places and finding something interesting about them to engage with the people there. That's why I like Charles' Kellogg's factory visit from earlier this year so much. Yeah, it's not the most exciting place to visit, but there are people who work there on a daily basis for their jobs and Charles did his best to make them feel good about their anniversary. Will we ever see a visit like that from William to a place like that? Doubtful. Very doubtful at this point.

I might see it exclusively as a "Spencer ego" thing because William does have the Spencer ego thing going on, just as Harry does. By the time William is king, I suspect most of the diehard Diana stans will be gone. Those are people who like to pretend that Diana was a virgin upon marriage and didn't marry Charles for his title & status. Both are untrue.

But Charles will have a solid legacy when he passes where people can compare how Charles engaged with the British public compared to how William engages with the British public. Charles has a solid charitable legacy with The Prince's Trust in addition to all his regular royal work & duties. William really only has the work of his foundation, which is beginning to sound these days as if he's getting into partisan political territory. Not a good thing for a British royal.

I still think there are three Spencer "storms" that blow through the British royal family: Diana & the "War of the Waleses," Harry & his "Megxit" mess with his (first) wife, and the mess that William creates on his own as king. We're not quite finished with the second one, yet; although, that divorce announcement is probably coming this summer. But I think that in ten or fifteen years time, after Charles has passed, the media will be more open to admitting what a problematic figure Diana always was.

Part of that is because most of Diana's mouthpieces in the press will be gone or retired, and part of that will be the new generation--say, for example--George's generation, who won't have much interest in Diana to begin with. People who don't have a memory of Diana appear to me to be more likely to admit that Diana was always a problematic person. Diana was the perpetrator of her own misery and caused most of her own problems.

A lot of the Diana stans were freaking out over Charles becoming king and then being crowned as king. Obviously, the world has not ended since those two events happened. Charles is only going to become more popular as king as time goes on. He may not ever reach the approval rating of his mother, but then, most people forget that QEII never surpassed her own mother (the Queen Mum) in popularity when the Queen Mum was alive.

[cerezzzita]

Info dump about your OCs bestie!

Hey, Sylvie! Sorry for the late answer btw, and in advance, I wanna say that the info dumps here are mostly about Millie and Evangeline, and they came from a talk I had with someone a month ago and is slightly edited, but ahem! Let's see it!

When I firstly wrote Evangeline, right after joining the DMC fandom two years ago, she was more like a counterpart of Dante than her actual own character, but thank god I changed that; she still can be considered his counterpart, though, since she's born from a angel with a human woman and he's born from a demon with a human woman. Anyways, Evangeline is more on the calm, serene side, usually being descript as that mature friend that you can always rely on because they'll always try to help you or comfort you no matter what. She is also very patient, collected and a bit childish — not the bad kind of childish, y'know, it's just that she was raised a bit far from mundane things and when she sees them for the first time she mostly gets excited and amused, and she have a thing for simplicity. Evangeline never asks too much, she just want to love and be loved, she cares and want to be cared, and trust me, she does loves Dante very much (right after their mutual pining, by the way). After all, he was her first in mostly everything related to love/mutual feelings field. Evangeline's also the smooth, silky type of flirter, she always knows how to make Dante go goo goo eyes for her and vice-versa. She's genuine, and hates any kind of betrayal. Her younger self also had a difficult time speaking of her feelings, gladly that changed as she matured. Evangeline's family is everything for her, she values them with her full heart and soul, her daughter Evelynn is her most beloved treasure, because she sees her more than just a being she and Dante concieved; she's her and Dante's second change to make things right.

Evangeline's also a Devil Hunter, and her kit is pretty similar to Dante's: she owns two platinum-like pistols named Grace & Glory and a spear (sidenote: angels, in my concept, don't really like or see the need for swords, they rather prefer spears) named Adamant. She also owns very diverse types of Devil Arms, they're still a wip, by the way.

Now for a bit of her past, Evangeline was born and raised in a far but stunning city named Caelumia — mostly known for the wealth and for the status of "The Doorway to Heaven", because, secretly, the city it is the angels' doorway so they can enter the Human World, but only a few can pass through. Her surname is Celiath and came from her mother, Rachel, a single human woman, and her father is named Hamaliel, a high-class angel. Yeah, I could say more buuut you'll have to read my future fic!

Now, onto Millie. Her real name being Millicent, she's more that laid-back, relaxed friend you have, y'know. She mostly appears to not give a damn about anything, so much that she's indifferent with the fact that demons exists and was kinda surprised but didn't made a big deal when she discovered that Dante was a half-demon. Pretty much like Evangeline, she's calm and usually don't let her feelings get the best of her, since her work as a pawner can and will be stressful enough depending on the customer she has; and yes, Dante's her favourite. Why? Because Millie have a thing for the "occult", and as said before, she doesn't give a damn about demons, she rather like to have things from them, and she makes sure Dante will always bring her some Orbs or even little bottles with demonic fluids. That girl is crazy, I tell you that. She also is the best in her line of work and always knows how to gain and keep money, a ironic contrast with Dante, so that's why she decided that he and she should be friends; and even that the both of them are full grown-ass adults, they tend to behave like two teenagers. Millie really cherishes his friendship because she doesn't let most people close to her (for tragic backstory reasons), he's an exception. She may be kinda tough on the outside, but she's a softie on the inside.

As stated above, Millie owns a pawn shop that is basically located in the end of the street where Devil May Cry shop is, and it came from her grandparents. Her shop is known for not being a regular one, since you mostly finds there itens that are related to Devil Hunters, and in fact they look for her shop so they can find something of their use. She's not a good body-to-body fighter but her aim is impeccable and she owns a kit with shotguns and rifles, when she have to deal with some not pleasant client.

And I guess that's all, for now! Thank you for stopping by!

[julianamaius]

Being "too much" and talking about queer and trans issues to people who don't want to hear it. The false allyship of Neoliberal right wing bigots hiding behind acceptability politics. The reality of being a trans woman gatekept from 'actual womanhood' (hint: it's a bunch of bullshit every trans woman is valid and fuck your dumb ass if you say they aren't!)

It's a tiring fucking thing, and yeah I'm new to it. Idk how you've all been handling this inane fucking bullshit all this time, I can't tolerate intolerance like this. The worst part for me, and I'm lucky to have not had this experience before coming out as trans as a white woman, is the fake allyship. Everyone I thought would most jump to my side when I came out has pretty much pushed me under the table, despite the insistence that they're "there for me" and were so over-the-top supportive and actually very weird when I came out as a woman

Like yeah I did NOT look like someone who would identify that way when I started, my transition has been on the dramatic side in how much my entire personality and entire face has changed. But now there's no excuse, a year into HRT. I've got the voice kind of down (though kind of fuck that too but I do what I can), I've got the makeup, I pass in bigoted areas, I dress as well as I can being broke as shit and unable to work while I change my name through all the agencies under the sun at cost to me

And those people, the ones who were so adamant about having my back are the ones treating me the least like a human, and least of all like a normal fucking woman. Like I am not an alien, and in terms of being around me it's 1000x better and more fun than it's ever been! I'm fucking happy, after all these years I'm finally happy and have so much going on and am thriving but NOW it's the aunts who jumped to congratulate me on starting HRT alone with no help at the jump who treat me like a non-human

Funny thing too is all the people I was most scared of being around are the ONLY ones who treat me like a normal fucking human being. My girlfriend, her dad they treat me more normally than anyone who has known me forever and should be there but absolutely are not. And now it's my therapist who throws her hands up and says 'it is what it is' when I talk about the deadnaming that happens at every media when a trans person is being targeted, when I talk about being almost assaulted in a parking lot or how the very real fear of being assaulted feeds into my already existent hypervigilance from a very difficult childhood to say the least

It's all the people that I trusted the most emotionally who have, after its all said and done and we've talked about and been close over the ways people can fail us and worked with them to do better, who have let me down. They're the ones who seem to have the most discomfort with my mere existence as a trans woman, as the most beautiful woman in my family to them I am not a woman at all, I'm something else to be handled with care and the worst part is that it's not even talked about

The best way it seems to handle me, to them, is to avoid every step I make and pretend I don't exist, after all the shit it took to get through. It cuts me so deep, I can handle James with the punisher tattoo wanting to rock my shit in the grocery store parking lot but when I get home and I let the shield down and you tell me you don't want trans women in sports, that's "it is what it is just deal with it" to being hated at large, to having no voice to combat people calling for genocide who want me dead, who treat me and other trans women like disposable non-human garbage, when that happens it hurts more emotionally than any real threat to my person

And the fucked up part is of course I'm lucky, I'm white I'm passing I'm pretty, it worked out for me! And here it still is that I'm treated like a disposable napkin in my life in the closest relationships I have poured so much of myself into with so little restraint of love and care, with so much of my best intents and actions. It fucking hurts, so bad. And the reality is of course I'm alone with it because there's not another trans person in my life. I wanted to believe, desperately wanted to believe the people in my life could show up that aren't trans and understand the things I need and go through and not treat me like a sideshow. It seems, on so many counts I've been wrong

At this point I'd actually rather be friends with the person who's loud and open about their bigotry because when we get past the talking points they've been fed they're so often actually the ones that support me FOR REAL, not this neoliberal false-acceptance bullshit that has cut me so deep time and time again in only a single year. I'm tired, I didn't want this. I love being trans alone but I'd never have chosen this minefield if I'd been given any say at all.

It's hard to keep going sometimes but I will, it's just sad that others really think they're "helping" when they're actually pulling me down with their fake 'feels good for them' surface level 'acceptance' that is used to obfuscate the ugly bigotry they refuse to acknowledge, challenge or overcome beneath it all. I'm trans, I'm happy and I'm also so so alone and exhausted and it's hard even when the bulk of things work out in transition

Thanks for hearing me vent because there are fuck all people in my life that actually, when it's all said and done, actually want to support me and listen to this shit which is a daily thing I have to grapple with. I guess it's not important to them

[lieslab]

Awe lie, I was trying to reply on your response to my ask but I was having trouble doing so, so I’m just back here! I wanted to say no rush at all or even getting to it honestly. I just caught up on your last few responses to asks and I’m so sorry you’re going through all of that. Pet loss is so incredibly difficult and I am so sorry for your loss. Take your time please! I hope you’re doing okay, I know that’s probably a big order but I’m sending you so much love. And I completely understand feeling like you need to be upbeat or energetic and just not having it in you. I hope you don’t feel like you have to be that all the time because you definitely don’t. And I hope my request wasn’t triggering to you at all either! It’s okay to be emotionally fragile, I am sooooo much of the time. You speak such beautiful words and have wonderful suggestions for me. I appreciate the love and support, even brightness of this! I do unfortunately deal with chronic illness daily but it doesn’t always feel bad, I promise! It was kind of a sore spot in my last relationship that I felt guilty “bringing someone down” but I’ve learned a lot and have grown since then! I know now that I’m not a burden and I don’t ask for too much from my loved ones. They help me because they care about me! Your last post with Bang Chan just reminded me so much of a support system I’ve only dreamed about and thought of the idea to suggest. Unfortunately I didn’t know you were going through so much when I put that ask in 🥺. I hope you’re taking time for yourself and giving yourself a lot of grace. Grief is so sporadic. It doesn’t matter if it was a pet, I don’t want to speak for you but for me pets are always an important part of my family. And the loss of them is as great as the loss of a family member. I really hope you can think of the happy moments soon and smile instead of cry. I know it’ll take time but I know it will happen one day as well. I’m sending you all my love 🩷

I do my best to try to constantly seem upbeat because you guys don't come here for my misery, you come for my stories. Even the best people can have awful times, unfortunately. Usually, I'm pretty optimistic, but my heart is truly bleeding.

Thank you. I hope you truly don't feel guilty and feel as if you're bringing people down with your chronic illness and saying that just to make me feel better. You're not bringing people down at all. If people have empathy and compassion, they should understand. It's not something people desire. It's a horrible thing to deal with and bleh. Your wants, needs, and desires shouldn't feel like a burden. Those are the special things that make you feel like you. Healthy support systems are so important.

Honestly, the requests are going to take quite a bit, but it gives me something to look forward to. When people used to send in requests, yeah it took a long time to make them, but sometimes it gave me another reason to write. Lately, I haven't felt like writing at all and I took a week away from writing my longer stories to just take a breather and then this happened.

The weight of the world can be hard and this is just one of those times. In the meantime, I have a family cat that I kind of stole from my younger sibling. Whoops. I've moved her stuff into my room and I think she understands that I'm grieving because she keeps coming to me for attention which is really nice. She roams around, but keeps coming back to my room. I used to joke that the rabbit was her step-brother because they're two very different species.

I'm the kind of person who just appreciates companionship. I don't like being alone. Pets are wonderful for me because I cannot stand the burden of silence and the darkness that slips in during those times. Mental illness can be silent, but so deadly. It dips when you least expect it and ugh.

Nonetheless, life goes on and time heals wounds. Flowers will bloom again, eventually. They always find a way to come back through the decay and gray skies.

[keybladespirit]

You know what sure.

15, then again in my twenties.

None confirmed but, I'm pretty sure my dad is autistic and doesn't know. Like it's so obvious. His "anger issues" became way easier to deal with when I started to treating them like he's autistic meltdown instead. And it seems pretty likely that some of my cousins are as well.

Does being trans count? I might also have ADHD.

I am a trans woman and my sexuality is "g-g-g-g-g-g-girls pretty" with exactly that amount of stammering.

It's just a normal personality type that most of society is not well equipped to deal with. Also I don't use my autism as an excuse. I think it's one of my best qualities.

Yes. It was great. I'm not doing it again.

Yes.

Kingdom Hearts, Bionicle, Destiny (the game) and Star Wars.

Definitely Star Wars. One of my first memories was of screaming that I wanted to see Star Wars in the movie theatre we were at (it was some rerelease in theatres for an anniversary I think, and my sister actually was going to see it at the time) but my parents were taking me to some other movie that I don't even remember.

"I don't think I really have any stims," she says while absentmindedly picking at her facial hair with a pair of tweezers.

Do everything you can to avoid working for Limited Brands.

Yes, but I can't remember who? Like I'm thinking of a really specific character but they're just not coming to me.

My friend Minra! She's sweet and kind and a heck of a lot smarter than me about things I want to be smart at!!

Yup. 7 classes left to my bachelor's degree.

I think probably yes? But I don't remember very well, tbh.

I would guess that most of my closest friends are autistic.

Not really? I kinda just have my entire life set up such that there is something to harmlessly stim with in reach.

Yeah.

Too many people talking all at once.

Let's just say I loooooove having long hair now.

I'll mention it if it's relevant but otherwise I don't really care.

Yes. 100% yes.

Kingdom Hearts has been my special interest since before Kingdom Hearts came out.

Yes. Usually in response to my dad's meltdowns.

Definitely.

Yea.

Oh yeah for sure.

Uhhhhhhhh I don't really know. I think the last one that I lost was Star Wars, and that lasted for a while and I still like it a lot.

Friends, yes. Family, "yes," as in they pretend to be but aren't really.

Xanther, from Mark Z. Danielewski's The Familiar series.

I don't have a specific comfort item, but I have a really strong habit of bringing whatever physical book I'm currently reading whenever I leave the house, even if I know I probably won't be able to actually make progress in it.

As in favorite? I like bbq ribs. Ice cream. Albanese gummi peach rings. Sour gummy worms. Mmmmmm.

Anything that's like, solid but slimy, or things that are dry and chewy. I share the latter one with my dad.

Both, somehow.

Yes, it was great, wish I still had the thing.

No, but I do know that I function best when I have to force myself into a routine.

Both, somehow.

Pretty good for other people, but I'm bad at knowing when I seem sarcastic. I use tone indicators more for my benefit than that of others.

I love gym shorts and I have these nice long legged pants that are made of similar material to gym shorts.

I really want to own the novelizations of all of the Kingdom Hearts games. So far I have one.

I don't date but when I did, I don't think I had a preference.

Donald is NOT shit at healing. You can customize his AI to fit your strategy and play style with a very easy to use menu.

I would really like to have a copy of Kingdom Hearts Melody of Memory signed by Yoko Shimomura.

I don't really follow bloggers that much.

I don't think I even know of any autistic celebrities.

Quiet.

No, but I am unsure if that's because it got conversion therapied out of me.

I have a trans flag patch in the shape of the Kingdom Hearts logo.

I find it very difficult to know what people mean when they say the opposite of what they mean in a tone of voice that suggests that they are saying what they mean.

Q: What is something you wish people did to accommodate your autism? A: Don't interrupt meeeeeeeeee!

Autism ask meme

Here's an ask meme specifically for autistic people

How old were you when you found out you were autistic?

Do you have any other autistic people in your family? Or are you the only one?

Do you have any comorbidities? Or just autism?

Are you LGBTQIA+?

What do you wish more people knew about autism?

Have you ever been in a relationship?

Do you find it hard to make friends?

If you have any, what are your special interests?

What was your first special interest?

What are your most common stims?

If you could give any advice to your younger self, what would it be?

Do you headcanon any characters as autistic? If you want, tell us why you headcanon them as autistic.

Tell us an autistic person that you really look up to.

Are you currently in school?

Have you ever received any accommodations for your autism in either school or work?

Do you have any autistic friends?

Do you own any stim toys? Which is your favorite?

Do you find it easier to get along with other autistic people?

What kinds of things are sensory hell for you?

What kinds of things are good sensory wise?

How open are you usually when it comes to being autistic?

Would you say you're proud to be autistic?

What's the longest you've ever has a special interest for?

Do you have meltdowns?

What about shutdowns?

Do you avoid eye contact?

Do you have any vocal stims or echolalia?

How long do your special interests usually last for?

Are your friends and/or family accepting of your autism?

Favorite canon autistic character?

Do you have a comfort item? If you feel comfortable with it, then show it to us.

What are your same foods?

Foods you are sensitive to (maybe because of bad texture for instance)?

Do you enjoy hugs? Or are they sensory hell?

Have you ever used a weighted blanket?

Do you have routines that you have to follow? What's in your routine?

Do you enjoy holidays or are they sensory hell to you?

How good are you at detecting sarcasm?

What's the most comfortable/sensory friendly outfit you own?

Do you collect anything related to your special interest?

If you date people then would you prefer to date other autistic people?

Tell us something about your special interest.

If you could have any item related to your special interest what would it be?

Who are your favorite autistic bloggers? Say something nice about them.

Favorite autistic celebrity?

Are you generally a loud or quiet person?

Do you happy flap?

What is your favorite special interest related item you own? Show it to us if you want.

What's something you find hard to do because of autism?

Free question. Ask anything you want! Any topic at all!

[imthebadguyyy]

Temporary Fix

Pairing - Lewis Hamilton x Reader (fem!F1 driver!reader)

Fandom - F1

Summary - You're the only female F1 driver, and you're damn good at your job. Oh, and you also have a friends with benefits relationship with a certain 7x World Champion.

Warnings - smut, best friends -> lovers, slight exhibitionism

A/N - you have the second merc seat in this, so Valterri isn't here : (( not proof read

Sometimes, you hated yourself for following your passion. Driving a F1 car had been your dream ever since you could remember. The long process from karting to F1 had been a difficult one. When you were seven, you had a go kart track manager that you couldn't race there because you were a girl. That had cemented your will to be the best you could be, and you had done it.

You had made it into a Mercedes F1 seat after spending two years in Williams. It was safe to say that you were one of the best drivers, with killer instinct and an excellent eye for overtakes. The likes of Mika Hakkinen, Niki Lauda, Jacques Villeneuve and others had praised your skills, naming you one of the best talents in the current driver pool.

But the glory, the fame, the praise, sometimes you wished you could just evaporate into thin air. This was one of those times. Press conferences sucked, they really did. Reporters and journalists thought they were entitled to ask you the most sexist of questions, brushing them off by saying it was 'just a simple question'. Sometimes the drivers you were paired up with defended you, like Seb or Pierre or Lewis or even Kimi. Sometimes people didn't want to say anything, or they just laughed it off or answered for you.

This was not one of those times. Charles was supposed to be your partner for the press conference, but he wasn't feeling too great so you were on your own. It had started off fine, with the usual questions like 'how are you feeling about the race?' 'is it gonna be a good weekend for Mercedes?' and then it had gone to 'Do you think you being the only woman here, you should have a special suit?' or 'Are you sure it's a good idea for you to continue another year in F1?' that's what had irked you off.

With a roll of your eyes and a shake of your head, you bit back the cutting response that had sprung to your lips, opting to simply look disapprovingly in silence, speaking more words in the quiet. Eventually, the conference was over, and you made your way out of the hall, deep in thought, so lost in your own world, you didn't notice when a pair of arms wrapped around your waist, pulling you into one of the nearby storage closets.

Your protest of "Hey!-" was cut off by a pair of lips pressing to yours, strong arms wrapping around your torso. "Heard you had a bad day with the press" Lewis mumbled against your lips, brow furrowing when you sighed and let your head drop onto his shoulder. "Yeah they're such fucking jerks" you replied, closing your eyes. "I'm sorry you have to deal with them every time" he continued, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. "Eh, I mean I'd rather not talk about it" you continued, letting your fingers trace a pattern on his chest.

The silence in the room was disturbed by the ringing of Lewis's phone, making you jump softly. "Bono" he answered, looking down at the screen. "Pick it up"

"Hello?"

"Lewis, we're waiting for the meeting? And is Y/N with you?" Bono's voice rang through the tiny closet, as you turned to look at Lewis with wide eyes. Shit, the debrief. "Yeah, I'm coming! Oh, and I'll see if I can find Y/N" he replied, making you suppress a smile. The moment he put the phone down, the both of you burst into giggles, before he leaned down to press another kiss to your lips. "Well, we should go" he said, biting back a smile when you sighed, and cuddled into his shoulder. "Fine"

"But I'll make it up to you tonight baby" he continued, as a shiver ran down your spine. Oh yeah, you two had a friends with benefits situation going on too. No biggie

Except, well, you know you couldn't tell anyone, and you were definitely in love with each other, but I mean, of course it was better to be stupid and just simply refuse to acknowledge those feelings for each other.

♥︎☾☁︎

It had happened, when Lewis won his championship in Turkey. The team had thrown a (socially distant) party, and you had gotten just a little more drunk than you should have, but the champagne was flowing, tequila shots were being taken, beer was being chugged so you just jumped in and had a few more glasses of wine than you should have, and participated in a few rounds of shots.

Before you had known, a pair of hot lips had crashed onto yours, and your arms had tightly held onto a broad pair of shoulders, as the pair of you had stumbled up to your hotel room, crashing backwards onto the bed. Your drunken mind had been sober enough to recognise the 'Still I Rise' tattoo across his back when he tugged his shirt off.

At the same time, Lewis had recognised your face, heart speeding up ever so slightly because holy shit he was making out with you, and he really, really liked you. Before he knew it, your dress was down to your knees, and his shirt was a rumpled mess on the floor, your friendship gone far beyond repair, but only in the best way possible.

The next morning, you had let out a groan when the sunshine had flashed into your eyes, rolling over to find Lewis lying next to you, his arm wrapped around your waist as he slept peacefully. Your heart rate had sped up, and you had shot up, scaring the living day light out of Lewis. He had awoken with a start, confusion present in his brown eyes, before realization had sunk in, and he had shot out of bed, wrapping one of the towels around his lower body.

But before the two of you could get awkward, he had strutted over to you, grabbing your face in his hands before pulling you in for a kiss that made you feel weak and light headed.

And then the both of you came to the conclusion that you two wanted something loose and flexible, something fun with no commitment.

But was it what you wanted?

♥︎☾☁︎

Sometimes debriefs could drag on. And on. And on. Eventually, the engineers left the room, leaving only Toto, Lewis, Bono, Angela, James and yourself in the room. Over the years, it had become like a family for you, and you loved them to absolute bits. The mood in the room had changed, as you all joked around for a while.

Watching from the other side of the room, Lewis couldn't help the smile that etched itself onto his face, when he saw you throw your head back with laughter at something Toto said, inhaling sharply when your neck came into clear view, a sudden urge to mark you up settling in on his body.

It was a thrill, to think of how many times you had come undone on his fingers and his tongue, how many nights you begged for him to fill you up with his cock. It was a thrill to think of all the times he had cried your name out in ecstasy while your tongue worked wonders around him. And yet, here you were, acting as if you two were just best friends, not two people who could barely keep their hands off of each other.

Just two nights ago, he had made you scream his name so loud, the person the next room, who just happened to be Daniel, had not let him hear the end of it. Thankfully, the Aussie hadn't realized it was you in his bed. Two nights ago, he had made you see stars, and after that you had rewarded him with the performance of his life to Nights Like This by Kehlani.

Snapping back to reality when a slight poke was applied to his shoulder, Lewis looked over to see Angela looking at him with a slight smirk on her face. He strongly suspected that the woman definitely had some sort of inkling about the both of you. How ? No idea. But she was a crazy smart woman, and was bound to have figured out that he was seeing someone.

It didn't help that atleast half the people on the grid had at some point teased him, telling him the both of you were made for each other. It was like the universe was pushing the both of you to be together, and he kept pushing it away

"So are we feeling confident going into this weekend?" Toto asked, grabbing his attention from the smirking blonde.

"Yup!" Your cheery answer elicited a smile from everyone in the room. "Yeah I think so" he said, watching as you flashed him a quick smile. "Okay, then, I think we're done for now. Any questions?" Bono asked, scanning a data sheet in front of him. "No, i'm good" you replied, reaching over to grab your phone. "Yeah me too" Lewis said, far too concerned with what was going to happen later that night to pay his full attention to Bono.

"Okay then. We'll see you tomorrow"

And with that they departed. Before Lewis could follow you, a hand grabbed his and he turned to see Angela, Toto and Bono looking at him expectantly. "So whose got you all distracted and flustered?" Angela asked, earning a smirk from Toto. "What? No one" he replied, slapping himself mentally for being all day dreamy during a meeting. "Oh really? I'm willing to bet you didn't hear anything I said during the meet except the last bit" Bono said, smiling when his driver got visibly flustered.

"So do we know her?" Angela continued, watching him closely for any giveaway reactions. "How would you know her if I don't like anyone?" Lewis said, hoping to God it didn't come across as awkward as it sounded.

"Never said you liked anyone. I'm saying you're in love with someone" Angela said, watching as her friend's eyes widened in shock, and he shook his head profusely. "Okay are you on something? I'm just gonna head back to the hotel now" he murmured, confused, and somewhat taken aback by her bluntness.

Ignoring the looks on the others faces, he made his way out to the paddock, trying his hardest to make sense of his feelings. Was a casual relationship with you what he wanted? He wanted so much more than that.

Lewis knew, deep down in his heart, that he wanted to hold your hand in public, and kiss you right on the lips in front of everyone when you shared a podium. He wanted to be able to call you his, to not just spend the night with you, but to spend all his days with you. But you didn't want that.

Or so he thought.

♥︎☾☁︎

Back at the hotel, Lewis busied himself with working out, trying to push all his frustrations out via the workout. He knew that you were going to turn up in the night, and he looked so damn forward to seeing you each night, but god, he hated it when you left in the morning. Every morning when your warm body slipped out from under the sheet, his arms would tighten for a moment, before your giggle would bring him back to reality and he'd hastily draw back, smiling at you. His favourite moment was when he came to your hotel room in Spain. In the morning, he had woken up before you, and before leaving, he had pressed a little kiss to your forehead. The most gorgeous smile had curled onto your lips, and his heart had melted into a little puddle when you rested your cheek on his hand

And then in Monaco, when he had taken you to his apartment, you had woken up before him, and he had woken up to the sight of you bringing a tray of pancakes and fruits, followed by a soft kiss to his cheek.

It was those moments he cherished, but it was those same moments that confused him.

His train of thought was broken when a knock echoed in the room, as he walked over to the door, opening it to find : you

"Hey" you greeted him, walking in and shedding your jacket. "Hey" he replied, reaching for a towel to wipe the sweat off of his body. "Wow um, is this a bad time?" You asked, eyes trailing down his abs, watching as his body glistened in the fading sun light. "No its fine, I just finished my workout. You hungry?" He continued, biting back a smirk when he saw your eyes roaming his body.

"W-what? Yeah, i, um, suppose - yeah" you murmured, mind already far down the gutter.

"For food darling, not for sex" he said, making you blush and let out a small gasp. "Lewis!" You chided, shoving him softly. "You know you were thinking it" he mumbled, pushing you up against the wall. "Yeah I was" you whispered back, yanking him forward by his shoulders, slamming your lips against his.

Lifting you up from the waist, he pressed his body further into yours, one of his hands wandering down to your ass, squeezing harshly, earning a moan from your lips. Taking the opportunity, he pushed his tongue into your mouth, groaning when you let your core grind against him.

Leading you towards the bed, he stopped in confusion when you stopped him, maneuvering him towards the balcony. "Want you to fuck me against the window or in the balcony" you gasped out, earning a moan from him.

"Right where anyone could see us, hmm? Didn't know you were into that baby" he growled, grabbing your earlobe in between his teeth, earning an airy gasp from you, as the wetness threatened to seep down your legs.

"Mmhmm" was all you could muster, your mind so clouded with desperation you couldn't form a single coherent thought. The only thing you were aware of was that only Lewis could make you feel the pleasure you wanted to feel, only he would take you to that little piece of heaven, only he would hold your hand and fuck you into oblivion, and he would still be there to clean you down with a sponge softly.

"If you insist"

Grabbing you roughly, he slammed your body against the massive hotel room window, ripping the mercedes team shirt you were wearing off of your quivering form, letting it drop to the floor, before he hooked his fingers into the material of your jeans, tugging the denim down your legs

With a soft groan, you pulled his nike shorts down his legs, moaning when his cock came into view, the throbbing in between your legs making you whimper, arousal and need growing tenfold in your tummy.

"Please" you whispered, meeting his eyes, so he could see the pure desperation in your eyes. "Please what?" He said, a certain roughness you hadn't heard before creeping into his voice

"Please fuck me" you moaned, gasping when he brought his hand up to your neck, squeezing ever so slightly. "Oh trust me doll, i will. But first, i want to have you dripping wet and ready for me. I want to make you cum on my fingers, so you're wet and ready for my cock. Do you want my fingers princess?" he continued, feeling his arousal grow when you whimpered and whined.

"Words baby girl. Or I'll just leave you here with your pathetic fingers. I bet you can't even reach all those spots inside you that make you scream, when your tiny little fingers try to please yourself. I bet you just feel like sinking into yourself, but the thought of my fingers keeps you awake. Do you do that, sweet girl? Do you pretend your fingers are mine when you're touching yourself, hmm?'

When you didn't answer, he delivered a smack to your ass, groaning when you moaned at the pleasurable sting. "Yes" you whispered abashed.

"Don't be shy baby. Its okay. I know you feel so good when I love on you. I can see it when you scream my name" and with that, his pointer finger began circling your clit, rubbing circles around it before shifting so he was rubbing the sensitive bud directly.

Your moans of ecstasy were music to his ear, a smile gracing his features, as he let his middle finger slip into you, thrusting it in and out of you. Your soft cry of "fuck" cracked when he shoved his pointer into you as well, scissoring them in and out of you

"Oh fucking hell Lew-" "Shh my darling, i didn't say you could talk, did I?" He said, fingers working at an indescribably quick pace, as the knot in your tummy tightened and threatened to loosen. "I'm gonna-" "go ahead baby" he murmured, using his pointer and thumb to pinch your clit roughly, as you came around his fingers with a scream

"Good girl. You wanna put that pretty little mouth to use somewhere else?" he asked, watching as you dropped to your knees eagerly, (just like I would do irl) reaching up to rest your hands on his hips.

"Someone's eager to suck my cock hmm? Be a good girl for me, and don't waste time" he ordered, a shudder running down his body when your nails traced the veins on his cock, and then as they reached downwards, your thumb circling his tip, collecting his pre cum on your finger. Then you shoved your thumb in your mouth, swirling your tongue around it, before sucking softly on your digit, rolling your eyes back. You were snapped back to reality when Lewis roughly yanked your head up, pure arousal clouding his pupils

"You better use your mouth right now, or i swear i will leave you here alone to pleasure yourself" he threatened, moaning when you took his tip into your mouth at once, sucking softly before swirling your tongue upwards.

The feel of your tongue on him made him buck his hips into your mouth, the unexpected movement pushed him quite far back in your mouth, looking up at him, you hollowed out your cheeks, taking more and more of his cock into your mouth, the sounds he was making above you fuelling you. You took him as far back as you could without gagging, as a strangled moan of "Fuck Y/N!"left his lips. He grabbed your hair, tugging upwards, the tingling on your scalp sending shockwaves of pleasure through you. "Fuck baby, you're gonna have to stop now, I really want to fuck you now" he growled out, pulling you up before pushing you towards to balcony railing

Lining up with your entrance, he watched as you let out a shaky breath, eyes falling shut, as you clenched in anticipation.

"Are you sure you want this Y/N?" he asked, eyes searching your face for any sign that he was being too rough, or that you didn't want what was coming next

"Turning your head around to face him, you pulled him in for a passionate kiss. "I've never been more sure baby" was your affirming reply.

Kissing you back with the same fervour, he slowly pushed into you from behind, the both of you groaning in sync when your walls enveloped him. "fuck you feel so good darling. So fucking tight" lewis moaned, making you moan as well as the pleasure coursed through your veins.

Reaching around you, Lewis rubbed your clit while he continued to snap his hips against yours, making your breasts bounce against your chest, your hands gripping the balcony railing for dear life. Thank god it was dark.

He continued to rub and pinch you clit, before swiping his fingers through your wet folds. Then he shoved his fingers into your mouth, prompting you to suck on them

"Be an angel and suck on my fingers for me" he growled, moaning when your mouth eagerly closed around his fingers, sucking them with fervour.

Snapping his hips into you desperately, his hands encircled your waist, pulling you back to meet his thrusts, swishing his fingers around in your mouth. "Fuck baby thats it, i'm gonna cum" he groaned, capturing your earlobe in between his teeth, moaning when you clenched down on him again

"Oh fucking hell-" with a moan, he came into you, pulling his fingers out of your mouth to rub your clit again, sighing with satisfaction when you came around him with a scream of "Lewis!"

Panting, he dragged you back to the bed, both of you collapsing into the covers.

Your chest rising and falling rapidly, you curled up into his chest, letting your head droop onto his shoulder, as his fingers traced his initials onto your hip.

"Well princess, we seem to have a problem here" he said, as you snapped your head up to look at him in confusion.

"I think i'm in love with you"

♡☾☁︎

A/N - part 2? Also feel free to drop a comment, i'd really appreciate it 🤍 thank you so much for reading 🤍