#but yeah there’s clearly a lot of angst down the road for our babies

[mandaloriandragontrainer]

Not me thinking season 5 will be the Rayllum reconciliation season only to read that interview and find out it’ll focus on Rayla’s continuing struggle with her obsessions (this time with the coins) versus her love for Callum 🤡

[goldentournesol]

Be Careful What You Wish For

(Spencer Reid x Reader)

The one where Spencer gets exactly what he wished for, but it isn’t necessarily for the best.

Length: 5k 

A/N: this is based off of maybe one of the best requests i have ever received, thank you so much anon, your request really got my creative juices going! also i combined this request with another one, too <3 (angst, just straight up, with happy ending tho)

masterlist

The sun was shining against the glass windows of the car. The sunset was so beautiful with its melting and merging colors, Y/N wished it lasted longer so she could watch it. It’d been feeling like beautiful moments were few and far between lately. 

No one ever said being in a relationship was easy, but she’d never expected to drift this far from Spencer. She couldn’t exactly place the moment at which the descent of their relationship began, if she was being honest. One day, they’d be happy, smiling, full of love and life. And then the next, waves of darkness and despair would appear. They weren’t even the kinds of waves that would disappear with the shining sun. No, they were there to stay and fuel the storm that continues to rage on. 

Today was one of those days. To be fair, the whole team was struggling, but Spencer had taken Morgan’s departure a little harder than everyone else. It was understandable, of course. Derek was a staple in Spencer’s life for so long. However, for a man who’s seen and been through so many losses, he sure was terrible at dealing with them. Spencer’s tendency to keep things bottled up had definitely been affecting the overall health of their relationship. In fact, it has been the root of a lot of their arguments lately. Y/N just wanted him to let her in, let her help him and she was willing to wait however long it takes. Spencer on the other hand grew more and more snappy, irritable, and private with each passing day.

When they were at work, they tried their best to avoid each other so as to not get on each other’s nerves. Their fights usually didn’t turn into screaming matches, but they both had a track record of saying things they don’t mean. Hurtful things. Turns out profilers are fantastic at rubbing salt into open wounds. 

Ever since they began dating, Spencer took the subway less, opting for car rides with Y/N. Sometimes she’d drop him off, other times they’d spend the rest of the day at each other’s houses. She enjoyed driving him around, at first he was never too picky with the music she played, but later on, his music began to overtake hers. It never bothered her, in fact, she took it as a sign of him being vulnerable and sharing parts of himself.

The days where car rides once filled with joyous singing and laughter were coming to a shocking halt. The silence nowadays was almost always louder than the music they used to play. Even small talk felt like too much of a burden sometimes.

“Should I just drop you off at your place? Or do you wanna come over to mine? I still have some of that lasagna you liked in the fridge.” She asked softly as they slowed down into traffic. Rush hour in DC was never fun.

“No, it’s fine. I’ll just have whatever’s at my place.” Spencer was being curt with his responses. Thus, the warning signs began flashing in her head.

“Are you sure? We can even pick something up from that one grocery store on our way home, something that goes well with the lasagna. I don’t mind cooking today.” She offered, hoping he wouldn’t shut her out like he usually did.

He shook his head, keeping his voice eerily level and his gaze was set on the road in front of him, “I just really wanna be home, Y/N.”

She nodded and whispered, “Okay.”

A short silence ensued as traffic began to thin out. Cars that were stuck bumper to bumper were beginning to move.

“Is this about Derek leaving?” She asked tentatively. He sighed and pursed his lips in response so she continued, “You know he said he was always a phone call away.”

“I don’t want to talk about that.” Spencer said shortly, gazing out the window.

“You never want to talk about anything.” She said defeatedly, the car beginning to move freely on the road.

“Yeah, well maybe that’s true. Or maybe I just don’t want to talk to you.” Spencer spat, clearly growing impatient.

“Fine, don’t talk to me then. But talk to someone, anyone! Hell, talk to Derek himself. Tell him you hate him for leaving or whatever you’re feeling, but don’t take out your anger and unresolved feelings out on me, okay? I don’t deserve that! Everyday I try to get you to talk to me, but it seems like with every little step I take forward, you take two steps back. And it’s exhausting. It is fucking exhausting, Spencer.” She frowned, tears welling up in her eyes but she refused to let them fall.

“I didn’t ask you for that! I didn’t ask for you to be my personal therapist. If I wanted to see a therapist, I would have gone to see one!” Spencer gestured wildly with his hands as he spoke.

“Spencer, in a relationship, we’re supposed to confide in one another. It’s supposed to be comforting. I don’t want to be your therapist, I just want you to talk to me!” She unconsciously began to press on the pedal, perhaps in an attempt to reach a destination quicker. He scoffed, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Relationship? You call this a relationship? We can barely stand to be in the same room together, Y/N.”

“And that’s why we talk it out. No relationship is ever perfect! You should know that, Spencer!” She shrieked, gripping the steering wheel in frustration.

“That’s not true. What I had with Maeve was perfect until it was ruined.” He uttered.

“Maeve?!” She squealed incredulously, “Really?! What you had with Maeve was perfect?! Spencer, what you had wasn’t real like us! You spoke to her over the phone once a week! You wrote to her in letters, where you have time to-to think and to respond! It isn’t like real life, it isn’t like you and me! What we have is real! I-I’ve lived with you, I’ve seen you torn to pieces, I’ve seen you laugh until you cry. That’s the you I fell in love with, not some fantasy I created of you over the phone!” She spoke but the words were garbled between incoming sobs that she was frantically wiping the remnants of off her cheeks. The same sobs she’d tried so hard to suppress. She was barely aware of the words that came out of her mouth.

“If what I had with Maeve wasn’t real, then why do I wish she were the one here with me instead of you?!” Spencer defended, unaware of how sharp his words were or how deeply they’d wounded her.

Her breath hitched in her throat, taking her already blurry vision off of the road in front of her to face him, “What?” She whispered brokenhearted, but the utterance was immediately swallowed by the unmistakable, earsplitting sound of metal clashing violently against metal. They had no choice but to succumb to the inundating darkness that rapidly overtook them both.

***

Spencer woke with a violent start and sat up in his own bed. He sighed in relief when he realized it was just a dream and it was morning again. Turning his head to look at the left side of the bed where she usually slept, he expected to find her there and was taken by surprise when she wasn’t. He rubbed at his face and eyes vigorously before hearing some clattering in the kitchen. With long strides he saw a blurry figure in the kitchen making coffee and walked towards it. 

He sighed in relief, “Hey, there you are. I just had the worst dream.” He huffed as he wrapped his arms around her waist and buried his face in her neck in his half-asleep state.

“Hey, good morning, lovebug.” She smiled and turned around to hug him tightly.

Something felt off. Something wasn’t right.

He’d heard that voice before. He pulled back from the hug and was met by…

It wasn’t Y/N. It was Maeve.

Spencer could barely control his expression as complete bone-stilling shock washed over his entire being, “M-Maeve?”

“Yeah, what’s wrong, honey? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” She said, a kind smile resting upon her features. If Spencer wasn’t so shocked, he’d probably have laughed at the absurd truth of that statement. Maeve brought her hand up to his forehead, “Are you feeling okay?”

He didn’t even have time to be confused before he jerked back quickly at the touch of her hand, “I-uh, uh...I’m not feeling too g-good. Um...what’s happening?” He mumbled, rubbing at his eyes again, almost like they’d be polished and he’d see more clearly. But when he opened his eyes again, she was still there. Right in front of him. There was no light emitting from behind her, she was totally opaque. It was eerily real.

Her face was full of color and life and she was dressed in one of his cardigans over her own set of matching pajamas. She was moving and...alive. And speaking to him. What is happening right now?

“But y-you’re...how are you here right now? Am I still dreaming? Am I...Maeve, am I dead?” Spencer shook his head in an attempt to wake back up.

She began to laugh and pulled out a chair for him to sit on, and so he did, still staring up at her in disbelief, “No, baby, you’re very much alive. You’re probably just still confused from whatever nightmare you had. Here, have some water.”

“Y-yeah, yeah, confused. Um, what day is it?” Spencer began to pat on his chest to make sure he was solid and alive. 

She looked at him curiously at his strange behavior, “It’s April 5th, 2016.”

April 5th? Derek left the BAU near the end of March. A light bulb went off in his head. 

The BAU! 

They’d have all the answers. He shot up from his seat immediately, “I uh, have to get to work.” Spencer rushed to his bedroom to get dressed. 

As he’s dressing, he spots a picture frame on his bedside table. He knows the picture by heart, it was of him and Y/N in the pumpkin patch last year. He’d had his arms tightly wound around her shoulders and was kissing her cheek. The leaves were the most colorful they’d ever been. He picked it up and almost dropped it immediately like it had burned his skin. It was the same picture. 

But Y/N was nowhere to be seen. In her place was Maeve.

No, no, no. This isn’t right. 

Spencer began to panic as he buttoned up his shirt, he threw on his cardigan and practically flew out the door. In the distance, he could hear Maeve in the background calling out for him to drink his coffee before leaving.

The train ride to work was truly a test of his patience. He couldn’t keep his knee still and checked his watch religiously. After the train stopped, was the first one off and ran as fast as his poor feet could take him. He stopped running when he got to the FBI Headquarters as to not alarm anyone, but raced to the sixth floor anyway.

As he opened the glass doors he searched frantically for any familiar face, “Garcia!” He yelled as he spotted her bright yellow clad figure across the bullpen. He pushed through tired agents and messy desks to get to her. Everything else was the same, the office was just as he remembered it.

“Good morning, boy wonder! How are you today?” She smiled graciously, holding a few files in one hand and a cup of coffee in the other.

“Have you seen Y/N?” He asked impatiently. She pulled her brows together.

“Do you mean Y/N...Y/L/N?” She asked slowly, as if trying to recall her name.

“Yes, of course I mean Y/N Y/L/N. Who else would I be talking about?” Spencer asked, once again losing more of his patience.

“No, I haven’t seen her, to be honest. I don’t see much of the White-Collar Crime division up here unless Hotch asks for them. Why do you need Y/N? Is she okay?” Garcia casually answered, as if her answer hadn’t turned his world--this world--whatever the hell he was experiencing upside down.

“White-Collar crime? No, that can’t be right.” Spencer muttered to himself as his brain raced a million miles a second.

“Reid, is everything alright? Is there a possible case? Should I tell Hotch?” Garcia asked, but Spencer was barely listening.

 He was on his way back to the elevators again, leaving an extremely confused Penelope in his wake. He raced down to the fourth floor, to the White-Collar crime division. As the elevator doors opened, his eyes scanned the crowded floor for her.

“Dr. Reid! It’s nice to see you down here. What can I do for you?” An agent, Agent Seymour, he’s met perhaps once before asked him.

“Hi, yes, I’m um..looking for one of your agents. Agent Y/L/N.” Spencer stuttered, it was weird saying her name so formally. But he had to see it with his own eyes.

“Yes, of course, right this way. I think she just came in.” The agent led him to a desk in the middle of the bullpen and left him, saying that she was probably getting coffee and should be back an second. Spencer looked over her desk and compared it with how her desk at the BAU looked like. Gone were the trinkets and books he’d given her. Gone was the candle she never lit, but kept anyway because she said it smelled like him. It was like staring at a stranger’s desk, so desolate, so...un-special.

“Jeremy, stop. I almost spilled my coffee!” She giggled from behind him. He’d recognize her voice anywhere. He turned to see her and his lungs filled with relief as he spotted her familiar face across the bullpen. There she was, in all her glory. Looking as beautiful as ever. His Y/N. But the relief was ripped away all too suddenly as he watched on. She had her coffee in one hand and the other was swatting a very sheepish looking Jeremy, he assumed.

“I’m sorry, baby. I just missed you.” He spoke, wrapping his arms around her waist and pressing a kiss to her lips. 

She blushed immediately and shied away, “Jeremy, we’re in the office!” She giggled again and pulled away from him, glancing around the office as if to check if anyone saw the moment of affection. Spencer’s blood boiled before he realized.

She looked so happy. 

So much happier than she ever looked when she was with him. His heart sank to his feet and he felt like he was incapable of lifting it back up to its rightful place in his chest. He wondered if this was the universe’s cruel, cruel way of letting him know just how shitty of a boyfriend he’s really been. Fire of envy festered in the place where his heart used to reside. He wasn’t sure if it was jealousy, resentment, or guilt. 

It all felt so strange. It felt like there was suddenly way too much pressure in his head. Before he could begin to compute the events unfolding before him, he realized she had spotted him at her desk and was now making her way across the bullpen, separating from her Jeremy. Before he could freak out, she was speaking to him. And all he could focus on was the shape of her lips and the faint memory of how they felt pushing against his.

“Dr. Reid! To what do I owe the pleasure of seeing you here?” She asked politely, but Spencer could tell that she was immeasurably confused by his presence, “Does Agent Hotchner need something from the White Collar crimes archives?”

Spencer panicked, “Yes! Um, he does...and um he asked me to ask you s-specifically. That’s why I’m here, heh.” He stammered like the nervous wreck he was and wiped his sweaty palms on the inside of his pockets.

“Okay, that’s no problem. Just tell me the number of the file and I’ll get it for you.” She smiled slightly, setting her cup of coffee down on her desk. At least her coffee order was still the same as it was. 

She disappeared for a few moments after he gave her a random sequence of numbers. Spencer wasn’t even sure how his legs were still capable of holding himself up. When she came back and he got a whiff of her perfume, his body completely stilled. He knows that scent like the back of his hand, he’d given it to her for their first anniversary. The fresh scent nearly sent him into anaphylactic shock. He’d accepted the file and scurried back to the sixth floor without another word, once again leaving a confused woman in his wake.

Spencer collapsed at his desk and rubbed his head like it would somehow fix this. Whatever this was. Everyone around him operated so normally and went about their day while he was seconds away from losing his mind. 

Was he having a schizophrenic scare? Did his symptoms bleed into his 30’s even though they weren’t supposed to? What was this alternate universe where he’d lost the one good thing he’s ever known? How was he supposed to get back? Did he want to go back? What would happen if he did? Would it be fair for Y/N to stick with him when he knew she would be so much happier with someone else? Would he try harder for her? Would he stop shutting her out? Would the woman he loved so dearly ever love him back?

He must not have ever been deserving of her love and the universe was punishing him in the worst way possible. To have her be within arm’s reach but to never be able to hold her. 

Once upon a time, he would have given up anything and everything to be with Maeve, but that was before Y/N. Before she gave him a new life, one he wanted to live. One where waking up wasn’t such a task. One where seeing her smile at him was enough to make him forget about all his worries. But now Y/N looked at him with barely a sliver of recognition. There was no affection or adoration behind those eyes and maybe he deserved that.

But how was this universe expecting him to go on like everything is fine? Like he hadn’t just lost the love of his life? No one else in this warped version of Spencer’s reality was feeling as dejected as Spencer was.

“Reid, are you feeling alright?” The voice of none other than Aaron Hotchner brought him out of his stupor. Spencer had unknowingly been sobbing into his hands for the past few minutes. Hotch was taken aback at the extent of Spencer’s disheveled state.

“H-Hotch, I need to go home. I can’t be here. I’m sorry.” Spencer packed his things and ran out the building before he realized he had nowhere to go. Home wasn’t his home anymore. He couldn’t exactly go back and see his dead girlfriend wandering around his apartment. He couldn’t be at work where Y/N was, so blissfully unaware of the crisis Spencer was in the middle of.

He wandered the streets of DC aimlessly as he tried to reorganize the events in his head and somehow make sense of them. Just a few days ago, he and Y/N had been holding one another on his couch. Sure, they’d been in a rut recently, but they still loved each other. At least that’s what he thought.

He walked and walked, miles on end, keeping his gaze on his feet as he tried to piece bits together. An IQ of 187 and he had absolutely no idea how whatever was happening to him happened. Even the multiple universes theory didn’t have his back. If he was ‘here’, where has ‘here’s’ Spencer gone? 

His feet had taken him to the local park, where he and Y/N used to sit under the stars. He found himself reminiscing the times they were together. He saw himself and Y/N in every couple that passed him by. Exhausted, Spencer took a seat on a patch of grass. He buried his face into his hands and tried to relieve himself of the headache he’d developed. 

“Hey, mister! Watch out!!” He heard a child yell way too loudly.

Groaning at the volume, he looked up to see the vague shape of a spinning baseball increasing in size as it moved closer….closer. Spencer had no time to react before he was knocked out cold by the baseball.

***

The first thing she’d heard was the incessant beeping of...something next to her. After that, she’d heard faint chatter. The voices sounded familiar but she just couldn’t put her finger on it. She whimpered in pain which caught the attention of everyone in the room. The chatter ceased. 

“Y/N? Honey, it’s Pen, can you hear me?” A voice called. She fought to open her eyes.

Why was it so hard to open her eyes? It was like they were glued shut. Why did everything hurt? What is that smell?

She made a small noise of agreement to the voice that called, but could not coordinate herself enough to speak or open her eyes.

“Y/N, darling, you’re in the hospital, okay? You were in a car accident.” She spoke softly. 

But the words weren’t soft at all. Her words had opened up a Pandora’s box of previously suppressed memories. Suddenly it was hard to breathe. It was hard to breathe as she tried to remember the last moments before the fog. She remembered seeing him so angry, eyes so wild. Who is he? So...so close. She whimpered in pain as she fought the fog away. 

Blood.

So much blood. 

Pain.

So much pain.

The others watched as she began to writhe against the hospital bed in discomfort. Her eyes snapped open the second she saw his face in her mind, frantically searching the room for him.

Spencer.

“Sp-Sp--” She began, but couldn’t formulate the rest of the word. Exhausted and defeated by the lack of his presence, she lay back on the bed.

“Hey, hey, calm down. Spencer’s...Spencer’s fine, alright? You can’t see him right now, but you will be able to.” Those words were the last thing she heard before she slipped off into a silent slumber.

Hours later, she awoke again. But this time with enough strength to open her eyes immediately. Her limbs felt like they weighed tons, she could barely lift a finger. The room was empty besides a single chair with a blurry figure seated in it.

“Spencer?” She uttered almost inaudibly and the figure moved.

“Hey there. Sorry, I’m not Spencer.” The figure moved closer and she recognized the blonde sheen.

“JJ.” Y/N croaked with relief, happy to see a friend. JJ promptly gave her some water in a cup and adjusted the bed so that she would be able to swallow it.

“How are you feeling?” She asked, taking the cup from Y/N’s trembling hands.

Y/N shook her head imperceptibly, “Is...Spence--is he?” Y/N barely got to finish her thought before the tears settled in.

“No, gosh, no. He’s alive. Thankfully, you both made it out alive.” JJ said with relief, leaning her elbows against the side of her bed. Y/N felt her breathing get easier as she learned of the news. She blinked hard, trying to control the tears, but they just flowed out.

“It’s my fault, JJ.” she paused to take a deep breath and JJ took one of her hands in hers, “I was the one driving. I should have been more careful. I-I was so mad.” She sobbed, the tears escaping.

“Hey, no, it’s alright now. Okay, you’ve both made it out alive, that’s what’s important.” JJ rubbed Y/N’s knuckles.

“W-where is he? I need to see him.” Y/N attempted to sit up but winced from the sharp pain in her side.

“Um..yeah, about that. You can’t really get up yet. You’ve got three broken ribs, a broken leg, and a severe concussion.” JJ delivered the news and Y/N’s tears seemed to flow even harder.

Before she could respond, Hotch, Penelope, and a nurse walked into the room, “Oh, sunshine! It’s so good to see you awake!” Penelope squealed and kissed her wet cheek gently before wiping away her tears. The nurse checked all her vitals and gave her some extra information before she left. Y/N forced a smile and sat back, but something in the room felt heavy.

“What’s going on? What aren’t you guys telling me?” Y/N frowned, staring at her friends. She saw them all exchange a look and Hotch being the most straightforward man she knows decided to deliver the news.

“It’s Spencer. Unfortunately, Spencer’s brain has swelled significantly and doctors don’t know when he’ll wake. It’s already been almost 42 hours since the accident.” Hotch frowned, watching Y/N’s expression turn from a hopeful one into one of the most unbearable expressions of grief.

“Wh--what, what does that mean? Does that mean he’s--is he ever going to wake up?” She began to panic, her heart rate audibly increasing. She squeezed JJ’s hand as hard as she could.

“We can’t be sure yet, the swelling has to go down before doctors can make any claims. It’s still too early to say he’s in a coma, which is a good sign. He’s also been showing steady signs of improvement.” Hotch said and Y/N covered her face to shield herself away from the embarrassment of openly sobbing.

JJ and Penelope both looked at the bruised and broken girl on the bed with tears brimming their eyes, unsure of what to do.

“I have to see him. Please. Please, JJ.” Y/N sobbed, pleading at the woman beside her. JJ looked towards Hotch for guidance.

“I’ll speak with the Doctor and see what I can do.” Hotch nodded once and left the room. Aaron Hotchner was simply a man you couldn’t say no to. Thankfully, this extended to doctors as well. The next time someone came in, they entered with a wheelchair. After many screams and with the help of three nurses and a doctor, they managed to get Y/N into the wheelchair. They rolled her off into Spencer’s room where he lay motionless on a bed just like hers. The sight of him so frail with so many tubes going in and out of his orifices should have overwhelmed her, but she was just so happy to see him breathing. Once again she could barely control her tears as she weakly gripped at the hand that was closest to her. She pressed sloppy, uncoordinated kisses to the back of his hand and pleaded for him to wake.

The sight was overwhelming, even for Hotch. It was difficult to see their two youngest agents fight for their lives.

And for the next two days, this is how it went. Y/N would wake from her slumber, request to see Spencer and would not leave his side unless her Doctor absolutely required her to. She didn’t care about what he’d said to her before the crash, she didn’t care. It didn’t matter. She just wanted him here. She wanted to hear his voice again. What a luxury that was.

Slowly, Spencer began improving. He’d begin to open his eyes but shut them immediately afterwards. He’d make noises, even though they were very garbled, they were very welcome. Y/N would read to him, she’d have any one of their friends bring over his favorite books and she’d pass the time reading to him. It was difficult at first, but she’d improved too.

On the fifth day, he was awake and fully conscious before she even got to his room.

He heard his teammates speaking around him again and what a relief it had been to wake in a hospital bed rather than his own bed. He let out a heavy sigh of relief as they updated him of what happened in the recent days. 

It wasn’t real. 

None of it was.

Maeve wasn’t there, Y/N was his, no one else’s.

He’d been sure of it when they’d rolled her into his room and near his bed, eyes lit with hope surrounded by healing scrapes and bruises.

“Spence? Spencer!” She exclaimed, “Oh thank God you’re awake.” She whispered trying her hardest to lean towards him on the bed.

Spencer fought to raise his arm to touch her arm, “Y/N? A-are you really here?” He whispered back.

“I’m here baby, I’m here. I’m never leaving you.” She sobbed, leaning her face into his awaiting palm. Spencer’s chest filled with immense relief as his thumbs caught her fallen tears.

“Y/N, wait--Y/N, I’m so sorry...I’m so sorry about what I said. I remember. I didn’t mean it. You’re the one for me. Life is perfect with you.” Spencer frowned as tears of his own raced down his cheeks.

Y/N shook her head, “It’s okay, I don’t care about that anymore. I could have lost you. I-if I had lost you, I would have lost myself Spencer. I love you so much. I love you so much.” She repeated as she kissed the palm of his hand. 

“I love you so much, Y/N.”

How could he have ever wished to live without this? Without her?

The universe had taught him his lesson and boy was he glad he had learned it.

[dreamifics]

Steve Harrington x Reader

Casuality

Just some fluff, angst and smut

Warning: mentions of alcohol, mentions of sexual activity, a little cursing

How did me and Y/N ended making out in my pool? Bad decisions and booze, that's the answer. I wanted it to stop, but it was good.. Too damn good. I can taste in her mouth the bitterness of the alcohol we drank a while ago. The mix of beer and vodka was still lingering in her mouth.

My hands run in her legs, as her hands tug my hair. There were fire igniting inside us, it was burning with lust and adrenaline. A low moan escapes her mouth, this added fuel to the fire inside us. We both knew that we'd regret this in the morning, but we didn't stop.

Y/N Henderson..

I'm close to her brother, but not to her. We fought monster beside each other, she was close to Robin, Nancy and Jonathan. But not to me, that's why I'm surprised when she arrived in my doorsteps, alcohol in her hands.

"Hey, Steviee!Wanna run around town and get smashed?"

She caught me off guard but I agreed, I was always intrigued by her. I never noticed her in high school but she seems to know everything about me.

"Oh, come on!Steve!I'm not stupid!I know you use that shitty shampoo and conditioner!"

"It's not shitty!It's the real deal!"

"Whatever, let's go back to your house and take a dip in your fancy pool!"

My mind snapped back as we moved to my bed, Y/N's heavy breaths and low moans was all I could hear from her. We drop in my bed, we knew were going to spend all night here. The sheets wrapped around our naked bodies, legs entangled with each others. Moans filling the room, sweats dripping from our hot naked body. We were drunk and stupid. Sobriety and rational thinking was out the window. This night was filled with bad decisions and bad decisions only.

Days have passed since that night, we decided to continue the relationship but we're keeping it casual. We're now sitting in my car, music blasting on the stereo on a low volume. She was looking blankly on the window as I drive her to campus.

"What are you thinking about?" I questioned, snapping her out of her trance. She smiled at me as she relaxed into the passenger seat.

"Whatever your thinking about.."

"Dustin moaning really weird last night?" I joked causing her to glare at me.

"No, but now that's what I'm thinking.." I chuckled at her response as I paid attention to the road.

"Hey, do you want to have a sleep over tonight?"

"Sleepover?What are you ten?Do you also want to braid each other's hair and have a pillow fight?" Her witty remarks always get me laughing, that's one thing I like about you Y/N..

"Come on, we're not gonna be sleeping anyway.." I pleaded.

"Ooh, Stevie gonnna give me the lovey dovey!" She said in a baby voice. Gotta admit, that was weird as hell.

"Oh dear god.." I mumbled under my breath.

"What's that Harrington?" Her glares could literally kill someone, I just gave her an innocent smile, she just rolled her eyes.

"Nothing.."

"I'll see you tonight, then.."

A comfortable silence filled the ambiance of the car, if I know Y/N and I think I do, she'll try to rummage her brain for something to talk to--.

"What was Dustin moaning about?" There it is..

"Oh dear god.." I just shake my head in amusement.

The first time I had ever seen you cry was the day we got home from campus, snots and tears were everywhere. I never saw you cry, even when we almost died twice while trying to save the world. Not a one single tear, but now your here infront of me. Tears in your eyes, as you sobbed into my chest. I don't know what to do, should I comfort you?

"What happend?" I finally asked the lingering thought in my head.

"I saw Dad with his brand new family.."

Y/N's father..

I never really met him but to what I gather from Y/N and Dustin is that he's a coward. He left his family to be with another woman.. Putting the three of you to emotional trauma and abuse.

"I'm sorry.." That's all I could say..

"After all what he did to Mom and Dustin, he have the audacity to be happy while Mom cover up the pain with cats.."

"I hate my dad, I swear if he ever comes back, I'll feed him to the demogorgons.. Why does this always happen to me? Can everything be just fine again?"

I hate seeing her like this.. What should I say? I can't really relate to her, my parents still stood by me.

"I'd do whatever I could do, if you want to get wasted, I'll do it with you, If you want to burn your dad's house, I'll be down with that. Just don't cry, I can't stand seeing you like this."

A small laugh erupted from her, moving beside me, she lay her head into my shoulders.

"Thanks for the reassurance Harrington.."

"That's what I'm here for.."

"Come on Steve, let's make out in your pool.." Y/N stands up, and gave me her hand, I gladly accepted it.

"Why do you have to ruin the mood?"

"How's that ruining the mood?If anything, I'm building the mood." She said in a sultry and teasing voice. I rolled my eyes, does she think I'll get turned on by that. She was crying just a moment ago, she was releasing snots.

"I think you have daddy issues, love.." It was her turn to roll her eyes.

"We all have daddy issues.." I grab her cheeks and peck her lips.

"We both have daddy issues, then." She just gave me the most precious smile that ever existed.. Oh, God. How I love you.

The first fight we had was also our last, it was your birthday. We were hanging out in your room, laying in her bed as the television played Star Wars. The pale moon was dancing all throughout the room, I knew there was something bothering me, we've been doing this for months, keeping everything casual. I'm growing tired of the constant thought that someone will take her away from me.. Don't get me wrong, I love Y/N, I'm not sure how she feel about me though. Y/N's like a close book, hard to read. So many things that I wish I knew, but there's so many walls that I can't break through. ( Where the swifties at? )

"Are you okay?" Y/N soft voice pulled me out of my head.

Am I really okay?No, why? I want us to be in a committed relationship, where someone can't take you away from me. That's how much I love you..

"Nothing, just thinking about us.." A small smile tugged in her lips as she scoot closer.

"What about us?" She asked, her brows wiggling.

"Being casual and all.." The smile she had falter, she moved away from me, running her hands through her hair.

"You know I'm not ready yet.."

"You always say that."

"Steve!I can't have this exact same conversation with you over and over again!" And here we are, fighting.. The anger inside me flicked open, I know it won't do good but I still went ahead and got mad.

"Why can't you say it once?!" Our shouts echoed through the whole house, her Mom is probably worried about her.

"What can't I say?!" She asked confused and angry at the samw time.

"That you love me!" The whole room suddenly got quiet, the look in Y/N's face was hard to read. Are you shocked? Scared? Angry? What? Do you love me like I love you? Please, say the words that I want--no, what I need to hear.

"Steve, we both know that we agreed to keep things casual.." She finally spoke, but not the words that came out was not what I needed.

"Casual?We've been together for almost a year now, how much more casual do you want it to get?"

"I--Steve, I can't do this now.." She backs away from me, opening her door wide open for me to leave.

"Why?" That's all that exited my mouth..

"Because I need space!" She snaps, a involuntary scoff left my lips.

"Space from what?!We barely have a relationship!"

"Just get away!I can't believe your pressuring me!" She shouts, but I stayed to say the words I'll regret..

"Let's just end whatever the fuck this is!"

"Fine!" She screamed as she walks up to me and pushed me out of her room.. Reaching the end of her door, she pushed me. I stumbled but managed to bounce back, before I can even say another word she slammed the door. And there's that..

"Steve?" Dustin came out of his room, a worried expression painted in his face.

"Are you and Y/N okay?"

"Yeah, it's just a--" I stopped at the middle of the sentence, my mouth refused to let the words escape.

"A what?" He questioned.

A break up..

"Nothing, it's nothing.." I lied..

I didn't know why I couldn't say the words. I clearly never wanted this to happen, I didn't know what happend. And I can't take it back, what's done is done..

Life with Y/N was hard, but life without her is much harder. Was I in the wrong? I shouldn't have pressure her, all I wanted is to go up at her house. But Dustin told me, she was really busy with a lot of schoolworks. Where did it get so complicated?

I was walking home when I saw Y/N, just standing in my porch front step. She seems fidgety and nervous, those sweet eyes seem to notice me. Y/N was wearing one of my Van Halen shirts, with a short and just some sneakers. You always looked beautiful in my shirts..

"Steve.." I love how she says my name, but I love it more if she screams my name. Flashes of her naked body grinding on me suddenly appeared on my head. This was not the time but I couldn't help it. I miss her..

"Hey.." I greet..

"I just wanted to--"

"I should be the one apologizing, I shouldn't pressure you like that.." I cut her off, I'm right. There's no need to apologize, I was in the wrong. I pressured her when I agreed to keep it casual.

"Still, I'm sorry too.." Y/N was always nice, never letting her pride get in the way of her life.. An eerie silence once filled our conversation, I never wanted this but maybe..

"Maybe it's best if I give you the space you nee--"

"I love you.." She cuts me off..

"Huh?" My mind went blank, my eyes blink rapidly as I try to sink in the three words you just dropped.

"I don't need space, I love you Steve Harrington.." She confessed cheekily, a small smile appeared on our face.

"I love you too.." She just smiles at me, but she was waiting for something. What is it? A ring, maybe? But this is not a proposal..

"What are you waiting for?Kiss me."

Ohh, right.. The way I moved was slow, I think she grew impatient because you pulled me and our lips collided into one. The way your lips was covered in the strawberry chapstick I gave you, this was my favorite thing in the world. I slid my tongue, it danced with yours. I pushed you in my door, opening it in the process.

When it burst open, we celebrated by going into my bed. Pushing Y/N into the bed was pretty arousing. We didn't need words or foreplay, we're pretty straightforward. Our lips once connected again, heavy breaths and low moans was all I could hear.

We slowly undressed each other, our lips was still intact, rushing into things was never really your motto. I felt your skin made contact with mine, I felt the heat from your body. My hands were making their way to her tender breasts, I slowly massaged it until the nipples turned like tiny stones. A loud moan came out from her mouth, I couldn't resist and licked them, biting them playfully. Another moan came out from her sweet lips, I stopped as I took out my hard and mounting manhood, I rest it unto her thighs. Y/N sits up, looking at me with questions in those eyes.

"What happend?You got tired?" Y/N whisper in her sultry voice.

"Taunting me?Really?"

Before she can even respond I got on top of bed and smirked, your naked body was softly laying in my bed. This made me harder, you're so perfect in every way. My hands are already in your legs, spreading it wide and open. I can see you closing your eyes at my touch, I drove my two fingers inside her. She moans with the contact it made, eyes rolled in the back of her head. I ravish her breast with my mouth as my fingers interact inside her.

"Fuck, Steve!"

I was hitting the right places, she was twisting left and right, her hands were gripping my sheets, I pulled my fingers out and replaced it with my organ. A loud piercing moan escapes her lips as I pump into her, every thrust was in sync with her breathing. I slowly grunt as I pump harder and deeper into her, I yank her legs back, as my other hand gripped her ass. I dug myself further into her, setting off another shattering moan.

"Steve, faster."

I increasing the speed, she wrapped her arms around my back, her nails digging into my skin. Pain and Pleasure was a great mixture for me. I hit every possible spot inside her, the nails dug deeper as I thrust harder and much more deeper. The speed increased once again, as I feel both of our climax building up inside, it can explode any second now. Every thrust I make, every moan she screams, and every sweat that drips was a cherry on top.

"Fuck, I'm coming!"

With that we both exploded into each other, I felt a warm liquid flows between her legs and mine. A small smile appeared on her lips as we were both out of breath, her hair was all disheveled.

"Well, that was fun.." She whisper, her voice hoarsed from all the moaning she did.

"I can see.." I joked causing her cheeks to blush..

"Shut up!"

I pulled out, she shivered at that action. I laid next to her, she looks at me with love and compassion. She pecked a kiss in my lips, cuddling besides me as the moon peaked through my windows. Y/N deserves every love and adoration in the world, I'm going to marry you someday..

This is my first smut ever, I hope it was..nice? If there's anything wrong I did in the smut, you can tell me, I'll do anything to improve it! I also accept request, any characters! Marvels, DC, B99, FRIENDS, Criminal Minds, TBBT, Community, basically anything! I accept anything! You can leave a comment or give me an ask!

Taglist

@sydneekomspacekru

[ivysimagines]

Hey, love. 💞 I hope you’re having a WONDERFUL day! Can I request a Blurb w/ JJ x Fem! Reader? The Reader is John B’s younger sister, and it’s the Hot Tub Scene? JJ and the Reader planned on being married in the future. JJ fantasized buying her a gargantuan engagement ring, but the pair acknowledged they wouldn’t be able to afford it. However, alongside the Hot Tub, Generators, and Delivery, he bought her an engagement ring too? Angst w/ Fluff, please? Thank you! 💞

of course I can! sorry it took me a bit to get to this. I’ve had bad allergies n haven’t been in the mood to write. anyways, the scenario isn’t exactly the way it is in the episode but i made it pretty similar.

pairing: JJ Maybank x Fem! Reader

request: above.

warning: mentions of abuse, cussing, angst w/ fluff, and underage drinking.

-

Title: Catch

-

(thoughts are in italics and bold!)

I sit in the backseat of Pope’s truck listening to trees rustling and the tires driving over the old rocky pavement.

They seriously need to get this road redone.

“Guys, this has gotta be done before my scholarship interview in the morning” Pope says.

I roll my eyes.

Will he ever shut up about that?

Like, he’s smart as fuck.

You’ll get a scholarship somewhere.

“Oh my god, Pope” i say, making it clear i’m annoyed.

“What, Y/N?”

“Guys, no fighting” kiara adds while reaching for her seatbelt buckle.

Okay mom.

Pope parks his truck near some trees.

We all unbuckle our seatbelts quickly and hop out.

Pope and Kie are talking about the plan to get the gold.

I hate that John B gets into this shit.

This is exactly how our dad died.

He can’t die or I’ll have no one.

I walk to the back of the truck and slip my phone into my back pocket.

I lean against the truck while Pope and Kie talk.

I shoo away some nats.

“Damn nats” I say as I kill one.

I hear Kie laugh a little.

Suddenly a shit ton of lights come on around us.

We hear a whirring sound.

“What the hell?” Pope says.

I look over to them and back at the lights.

“Who the hell is that?” kie adds.

We all begin walking towards the center of all the lights hoping to find whoever the fuck did this.

I walk behind them and we hear a cork pop.

I cross my arms and nearly trip over a stick.

We stop and I see it’s my boyfriend, JJ Maybank.

“What did you do JJ?” Pope asks him clearly concerned.

JJ smiles a little, “i’ve got a jet going straight in my butt right now.”

“Y’all should get in immediately, you hear me?”

He grabs three glasses and pours the champagne.

I can tell he’s avoiding looking at me.

“Salud!” he says as he raises the champagne.

“How much did this cost?” Pope asks.

I look back and forth between Pope and JJ.

“Uh. well, with the generator, the petrol, and oh, hey, express delivery...uh, i’d say pretty much all of it”

“All of it?”

“Yeah, all of it”

He looks over at me and then back at Pope.

“You spent all of the money in one day?”

“Yeah, burned a hole right through my pocket. But I mean like, come on guys, like, look at this! Finest in jet-based massage therapy, at least that’s what they told me.”

I stare at JJ with a look of disappointment.

JJ looks over to me.

“Babe, what?” JJ asks.

“Can’t a man have a little luxury in his life! C’mon, all this scrimpin’ and scrapin’..i mean like...guys, we- y’know you only live once, right?” JJ says.

I look at Pope and Kie.

“Like, y/n couldn’t you use some fun in your life? You’ve been all down and shit since your-” he stops himself before finishing his sentence.

Asshole.

“Alright, enough of this emotional shit. Get in the cat’s ass. Come on.” he adds.

“In the what?” Kie asks.

“...in the cat’s ass. That’s what i named her” JJ says while looking off to the side.

It’s quiet for a maximum of 3 seconds.

“Oh, hey, yo, i almost forgot-”

JJ reaches forward and flips a switch and it turns on some disco ball.

“Yeah, that’s right, i know. Disco mode, baby” he says.

“Are you kidding me?!” Pope says in an agitated tone.

“You could’ve paid for restitution!” Pope yells.

“Or literally given it to any charity!” Kie adds.

“Or added it to a fucking fund to get the hell out of here!” i yell.

JJ looks right at me.

“Or bought supplies to get the rest of the damn gold out of the well!” (pope)

JJ turns away and rubs his face.

“Okay, well, you know what?” JJ yells.

He stands up revealing purple and red marks on his stomach.

All these different thoughts began racing through my mind and I could feel my heartbeat speeding up.

Oh my god.

He said things were getting better at home.

...i’m gonna kill that motherfucker.

How can he do that shit to his own fucking kid?

Maybe it’s a good thing my mom dipped and my dad’s dead.

“I didn’t do that!” JJ yells.

“I got a hot tub! For my friends- you know what? No, screw friends. I got a hot tub for my family!”

I look at him and tears start forming.

He looks over to me.

“And, I got something especially for you” he says as he reaches into his swim trunks pocket.

I look at him and he pulls out something small.

“Catch” (JJ)

I open my hands and catch a ring in my hand.

I take a look at it.

It’s not just any ring.

It’s a gargantuan engagement ring.

Holyshitholyshitholyshitholyshitholyshitholyshitholyshitholyshit

I look up at him.

“JJ…”

It’s silent for a few seconds.

I walk over to the hot tub and step on the ladder.

I get inside with him as he rants about ‘everything being fine’.

I pull him into a tight hug.

He starts crying into me.

“I love you” i whisper into his ear.

I rub his back.

It’s quiet as we hug.

Kie and Pope get in with us and we all hug JJ.

“I just wanna do the right thing and I thought-” he says.

“We know, we know. It’s okay, love” i say.

After a few minutes JJ calms down and Pope and Kie leave us.

*now sitting on the edge of the hot tub talking to JJ*

I mess with the ring in my fingers.

“JJ...I don't need some fancy ring” i say.

“I know, but I wanted such an..important ring to be nice”

I look over at him.

“So, this is an engagement ring?”

He smiles at me and nods.

“I know we’re still teenagers and...obviously you can’t exactly get parental consent. Plus, John B would totally kill me if we got married this young. But, we can still be engaged.” he says.

I smile at him and look back down.

“You know, you haven’t asked me”

He sighs and laughs softly.

He takes the ring from out of my hand and looks at me.

“Alright, Y/N Routledge, will you make me literally the happiest man in the world and marry me in a few years?”

I smile at him and bite my lip a little.

“Definitely, one thousand percent”

He smiles and grabs my left hand softly.

He slips the ring onto my ring finger and then places his hand on my face.

We kiss a couple times before I pull away.

I look at the ring on my finger.

Holy shit.

I’m like...engaged now.

What the fuck?

I contain my excitement and just smile.

“So, we could get married when we turn 18...or whenever using our share of the 400 mil and then get the fuck out of here. Away from the obx, away from the pogue bullshit, just...everything” he says.

I stare at him for a few seconds.

“Okay, as long as we can get a dog”

He smiles and nods.

“Named willow?”

“Of course, whatever you want” he says.

I smile at him and we kiss again.

We continue our night together and eventually head to my house.

-

Hope you enjoy!

Once again, request whatever you would like.

I will also be experimenting with thing like ‘dating ___ would include…’ (i love those types of things lmao)

I might start writing a lot for atypical since i’ve gone back into my atypical phase (13rw as well but idk if ima write for that series or not).

Thanks for readinggg!

Upload schedule:

Monday @ 10 am (EST)

Wednesday @ 3 pm (EST)

Friday @ 8 pm (EST)

There may be random uploads here and there.

If you request something I will upload it on one of those days.

BYEEE <33

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

A Place To Call Home: Jensen’s Day

Summary: TJ approaches Jensen on how to best to handle the unexpected discovery of many of the reader’s childhood things. While the pair work out how to do that, Jensen spends some quality time with the other kids too...

Masterlist

Pairing: Jensen x foster daughter!reader

Word Count: 7,300ish

Warnings: language, angst, period talk, minor injury, fluffy dad Jensen

A/N: This part takes place in Jensen’s POV and after the TJ’s talk timestamp. Enjoy!

______

“Hey,” said a voice at the door. I jumped and looked over the top of the computer screen, TJ smirking. “I scare you?”

“Pft, no,” I said. I typed out the rest of the sentence, TJ wandering over to the leather chair in my office JJ normally used to read in. “I’m kinda in the middle of something. Can it wait?”

“Oh. Sorry,” he said as he went to stand. I waved him back down and shook my head.

“Read a book or something. I’ll be another few minutes,” I said. He turned his body back towards the bookcase, picking out one on homes. He flipped a few times and I glanced over at him, going back to the screen. I wrote out a few more lines and read it over, pretty satisfied with it. I set a reminder for myself to come back to it later and spun around in my chair. “So. What’s up?”

“What are you working on?” asked TJ as he flipped through the book still.

“Actor stuff,” I said.

“You always work on actor stuff with parchment paper next to you?” he asked. I looked over my shoulder and saw the paper and envelopes, TJ probably recognizing them. “Writing letters?”

“If you must know, yes, I am. I was. I prefer to handwrite them but I started this one on the road this week so I’ll write it down later,” I said. “So. What’s up?”

“Y/N started doing that, writing letters for the kids,” said TJ as he put the book back. “After the accident and all.”

“Yes, I know. What’s with the intrigue?” I asked.

“Well, you’re a sap. I needed some advice,” he said. I rolled my eyes and he cocked his head. “Oh yes. Clearly you’re a hardass.”

“Sometimes I miss the day you came over the first time and were scared shitless of me. Good times,” I said with a smile. I nodded and he got up to shut the door before taking a seat. “What are you up to?”

“Well...it’s complicated,” he said. “Like supernatural level complicated.”

“The show?” I asked and he shook his head. “TJ, buddy are you okay?”

“I’m fine. I just…” he said. He reached into his back shorts pocket and pulled out a manila envelope. He handed it over and I opened it up, pulling out a few sheets of papers and photos. I recognized the face immediately, TJ sitting up on top of the desk. I smiled and TJ laughed. “You never seen baby pictures of Y/N?”

“No. We thought they were all lost. There were a few things from her parents we found but only a few boxes and her teddy bear. A few pictures but none of when she was little,” I said, smiling at the one of her in a onesie passed out asleep on her dad. “He looks young.”

“Her parents were older than you guys, right?” he asked.

“Oh yeah, a lot older. Just only ever saw them on that home video. Y/N had a picture once she said but some dickhead foster parent burned it,” I said. I pouted and felt TJ’s gaze on me. 

“I get angry about stuff that happened to her too sometimes,” he said. 

“Just don’t stay angry,” I said and he nodded. I turned my head at one of the sheets and went wide eyed. “Is this her birth certificate? How the Hell did you get this? It looks like the original.”

“It is. Long story short, I’m working on a renovation right now on the east side of town. Out in the suburbs, average home, nothing like this place or even ours to be honest. They needed an architect for like two days at most. Older couple. I got talking to them and we come to realize, I’m standing in Y/N’s old house.”

“What?”

“Yeah. It’s the one she grew up in. It’s her house,” he said.

“Small fucking world,” I said, leaning back in my seat. “I thought they ditched everything in the house after it went up for auction.”

“So did I. So did Y/N. Apparently, this couple packed up a lot of the personal stuff cause they felt wrong about throwing it out. They shoved it in some bins in the basement and forgot about it until this week. Jensen, I got bins full of photos and awards she won as a kid and stuff of her parents and did you know she was a ghostbuster for Halloween? I didn’t know that.”

“Neither did I,” I said. “Why not tell her you found this stuff?”

“Part of me is scared that she knew, that she didn’t want to deal with it. Maybe she wanted to shove it away. I don’t know. You know her as well as I do. What do you think?”

“I know she almost cried over a teddy bear when she was seventeen. I know when she saw that home video she almost cried. But I know both those times it was happy tears that would have happened. You know as well as I do this would mean the world to her.”

“I know it would which is why I need your help. How do we tell her?”

“Oh so you want to make a big elaborate thing out of it all I see.”

“I bet I could get at least your sappy letters level of waterworks,” he said.

“I’ve taught you well,” I laughed. “We’ll come up with something. Oh and I got something for you.”

I reached into a desk drawer and smiled as I pulled out an envelope. I held it out to him, TJ staring as he saw “Thomas James” written on the front.

“What’s this?” he asked.

“Always keep an ace up your sleeve,” I said as I stood. I pushed it against his chest and walked past him. “It’s your first letter kid.”

“What?” he asked quietly. I turned around and smiled. “But I’m not…”

“Yeah, you are. Your dad’s a shithead and I don’t know when or if he’ll get his act together. Either way, you deserve better. I ain’t perfect. Not even close. But I do know you love your kids and for me that means all five of them. We don’t really care about blood relations around here if you haven’t picked up on that by now,” I said. He stared down at the letter and back at me. He nodded quietly and I laughed. “Read it in private and when you’re ready, we’ll figure out something for our girl.”

“Jensen. Why am I getting this now?” he asked as I reached to open the door.

“Cause you asked me for help on something that will bring my daughter joy. Cause you love her as much as the rest of us. Cause I felt like we’re at that place now where we can talk like this with no hesitation. Maybe cause you caught me writing letters and I was in a sappy mood. The letters aren’t always about a birthday or a wedding. Sometimes it’s just moments. Oh and you gotta work on your hand writing kid. Your kids are never gonna be able to read your chicken scratch.”

“I don’t…” he said as I smiled. “I tried writing one once and it sucked.”

“Considering your children can’t read yet, I think you got the time to figure it out,” I said. “Arrow and I are going golfing in a few. Wanna come?”

“I would but I have swim lessons with Allie. She’s getting pretty good. Y/N worries.”

“Never noticed,” I said. “Enjoy it. They’re only little once.”

“I will. Say hey to Arrow for me, Jensen.”

Two Hours Later

Arrow groaned as she sat down in the passenger seat of the cart. She took a swig from her water bottle and raised an eyebrow at me when she caught me staring.

“What?” she said, a little snippy.

“Can we try that nicer?” I asked. She rolled her eyes and sat back, crossing her arms. “Arrow, if you don’t want to golf with me today why’d you ask if we could go?”

“I thought we were going mini-golfing,” she said.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” I asked. She shrugged and I turned in my seat. “Arrow…”

“You were like...excited about it and stuff,” she said. “It’s fine.”

“Well as good at this as you are, I’d much rather we go do something we both find fun. Okay, munchkin?” 

She shrugged and I drove up the path, headed back to the clubhouse.

Twenty minutes later she was in the front seat of the car with her head against the window and eyes shut. I frowned and reached over to touch her forehead. It was warm and bit sweaty but she popped right up.

“What?” she snipped again. I looked at her for a moment before it clicked. 

“Not feeling great?” I asked. She shook her head and I smiled. “Okay. I know just how to fix that.”

“Not something you can fix,” she mumbled.

“Oh, this I know how to fix. Trust me.”

“How’s that feel?” I asked when we were curled up on the couch in the TV room about half an hour later. 

“Better,” she said, a light blush over her face as she held the heating pad to herself. 

“We don’t gotta talk about it if you don’t want to,” I said.

“My friends dads don’t really talk to them about you know, periods,” she said with a wince.

“That’s too bad. They’d be able to make ‘em feel better if they did,” I said. “You’re already more of an expert on this than I am but your mom and older sisters say after the first year you really start getting the hang of what to expect and all that.”

“You can stop cramps?” she asked, happy for a moment.

“No, you can’t do that. But you learn what day it’s gonna happen and you learn what medicine works best for you, what makes you feel better best. Y/N got one of those heat pad stuffed animals for your sister. I hear heat helps.”

“Dad, this is kinda gross to talk about you know,” she said.

“Like I said, we don’t ever got to talk about it if you don’t want. Just...know you can.”

“I got that from when I got it and we had that talk. I don’t need it again,” she said. I held up my hands and returned my attention to the TV. “Dad. I’m sorry. That was mean.”

“S’okay. You got a lot going on right now inside you. I’ve lived with women a long time. I’m used to it at this point,” I said.

“Why does Zepp not have to deal with this?” she asked.

“Well...he also can’t make a baby. You got that on him.”

“A baby and cramps. Thanks genetics,” she said. I chuckled and she crawled over, using my leg as a pillow. “Why do you boys get everything? They get to not have periods and stuff.”

“The grass is always greener on the other side, kiddo. I’m sure some days, especially in the mornings, your brother would much rather be you right now,” he said.

“Huh?” she said.

“What grade do you take health class again?”

“Eighth,” she said.

“Oh. Okay. We’ll save that one. Better yet, you’ll find out when you’re thirty,” I said.

“Dad I know what sex is. Biology class. Make a baby,” she said. “Duh.”

“Oh really? Didn’t realize you were so grown up and all now,” I said, ruffling her hair. “What if you want to not make a baby?”

“They you don’t do it. Duh,” she said.

“Right, right. We’re gonna get you a book to explain all this to you,” I said, Arrow rolling her eyes. JJ wandered inside, hands behind her back, lifting up onto her tip toes. “I see someone wants to borrow the car.”

“Please? I’m just going over Tom’s,” she said.

“You’re going over the Pad’s to make out with your boyfriend you mean.”

“Tom is so not my boyfriend for the like, gazillionth time,” she said.

“Why you going to his junior prom then? As his date?”

“We’re just friends. Like, everybody does it,” she said. “I’m his best friend, like of course we’d go together.”

“What do you think? Is Tom just a friend?” I asked Arrow, a shit eating grin on her face.

“She doesn’t know-” said JJ, a loud crash happening somewhere in the house. I hopped up, the two of them following after. 

“Zepp,” I called, jogging up the stairs. “Zeppelin.”

I rounder the corner into his room, spotting him on the floor, with a hand on his head. He looked away and I knelt down, putting a hand over his.

“Let me see,” I said. He winced and I pulled his hand back, spotting a gash on his forehead. “JJ, get me a towel please. Quickly.”

I heard her leave and I saw his desk chair flopped over on the ground.

“We told you not to stand on that thing, Zeppelin…” I said, seeing the spot of red on the corner of his desk.

“Sorry. It’s just a cut. I’m okay,” he said. 

“I’m not mad, honey. Promise you won’t do it again?” I asked as JJ came back and handed me a towel.

“Yeah. Don’t have to worry about that,” he said. I put the towel against his head and looked at his eyes. 

“Did you pass out?” I asked.

“No,” he said. “I’m okay.”

“I know you are tough guy. We’re still going to urgent care,” I said. “JJ tell Tom to come over here. It’s getting late and I don’t want Arrow home alone.”

“We’re not going with you?” she asked.

“Do you really want to go sit in a waiting room for a few hours?” I asked. I helped Zepp to his feet, glad when he didn’t stumble. She shrugged and I turned to Arrow. She looked worried and I pursed my lips. “Well if you want to come, let’s go. Otherwise, JJ stay with your sister.”

I walked out ahead of them, Zeppelin groaning when I took his arm to walk down beside him. I sighed and left them in the kitchen while I grabbed my phone and wallet.

“Alright,” I said. I shooed them out to the garage, the three of them piling in their usual spots. I put the radio on low as I drove, a call coming in quick on the dash. I pressed the button on the wheel and forced a happy voice. “Hi hon-”

“JJ just texted me that her brother hit his head and he’s gushing blood everywhere,” she said. I shot her a look in the passenger seat and she mouthed sorry. “Jensen.”

“De he is not gushing blood. He has a little cut. We’re driving to urgent care right now,” I said. 

“Mom, I’m fine,” he said from the back.

“Were you standing on that chair again?” she asked. 

“On the way home, we’ll stop at home depot, get a step ladder. Problem solved,” I said. “I don’t even think he has a concussion. We’re just being careful is all. Alright? How’s your parents?”

“Fine. I’m gonna head home early,” she said. 

“De. We’re fine. I’ll let you know as soon as he gets checked out, okay? Nothing you can do in the meantime,” I said. “Say hi to your folks.”

“Jay are you sure…” she said.

“Honey. I am absolutely 100% positive. He is fine. I promise,” I said. 

“Alright. I’ll talk to you guys later okay? Love you.”

“Love you too,” I said before I hung up.

“You’re totally freaking out on the inside,” said JJ.

“Thank you for texting your mother. Guess who’s not hanging out with Tom tonight now,” I said.

“When was I even gonna go?” she said, rolling her eyes.

“How you holding up back there bud?” I asked as I got on the highway.

“I’m fine for the millionth time,” he said.

“Mhm. Sure you are.”

Three Hours Later

“Hey doc,” I said as we finally were getting out of there with a small bandage on Zeppelin’s head and an ointment for the cut in my hand. “I mentioned to the nuse, he uh, he had a head injury when he was a toddler. It was a hard hit was all, no concussion or anything. They told us to watch out for more of them is all and I know it was just a smack to the head tonight but he’s okay, right?”

“He shows no signs of anything aside from a cut and some bruising. It doesn’t warrant an MRI,” he said.

“I know. I just…” I said, trailing off when I saw Y/N’s friend Kelly walk by in the background. “Kelly.”

“Mr. Ackles! Everything okay?” she asked.

“Zepp hit his head tonight,” I said.

“You do an MRI?” she asked the other doctor. He seemed a little miffed but shoved the chart in her hands and she rolled her eyes as he left. “He’s kind of an asshole, don’t take offense.”

“None taken,” I said. “They said he’s fine but...you know.”

“Send the little shrimp back here and I’ll take care of him,” she said.

“I always knew I liked you,” I said. I got Zeppelin from the waiting room and she sent him off for a quick scan, letting me wait in the hall just outside. “Y/N said you were going for pediatrics if I remember?”

“Yeah. Kids are less of complainers than adults typically,” she said. “How’s Y/N? We haven’t hung out in a bit. Her babies still adorable?”

“Like always,” I said. I smiled and she looked a little a bashful. “It’s okay that you watched my show, Kelly. I’ve always known.”

“Really?” she asked, pursing her lips. “Y/N promised she wouldn’t ever tell you.”

“Oh she didn’t. The you saying holy fucking shit to Y/N when you saw me in the backyard for the first time kind of gave it away,” I said. 

“Yeah, subtly isn't really my strong suit,” she said. I chuckled and she shrugged. “To be fair, like all of our friends think you’re the hot dad.”

“I know. It’s great to tease Y/N with,” I said. “Mind if I ask you a question while we’re waiting.”

“Shoot,” she said.

“Y/N. Why were you her friend? You know that’s a hard shell to crack. She doesn’t have a lot of them and most of those are TJ’s. Nothing wrong with that. Just wonder what made you say hi to the new girl at school.”

“This isn’t going to sound great but basically I had this ex boyfriend. He was like a dick once I told him I wasn’t ready to like, you know, do it yet and we broke off and like six months go by and then I had my new boyfriend at the time but this old ex was still like a super dickhead to pretty much every girl in school that wasn’t super popular. He was...he bullied her the first few days.”

“I never knew that,” I said.

“It was only a couple days. By the third day, she was fed up with it and snapped back at him. He didn’t like that so he shoved her and I just walked over and told him to back off of her. She just looked so...not scared but like, defeated you know?”

“Unfortunately yes, I do.”

“I guess we just talked about how much of a dick he was and we sat together at lunch and she eventually warmed up to me by the time we graduated.”

“She liked you before that. Trust me,” I said. “You’re a good kid. You’re gonna be a good doctor.”

“I hope so,” she said.

“So super fan. I gotta ask cause I also love to torture my children’s friends. Sam girl or the other one?” I said, giving her a smirk.

“I’m not answering that,” she said.

“In a way you did,” I chuckled. “Shoot Y/N a text sometime. We’ll get you hooked up with some con tickets sometime.”

“That’d be so cool!” she said. “If it’s no trouble.”

“No trouble at all,” I said as the door opened and Zepp came out. “How’d it go?”

“No bleeding,” said the tech that walked out and handed a slide to Kelly. She walked over to a wall and stuck it up to a light, nodding her head.

“He’s good. You guys are all set,” she said.

“Thanks Kelly.”

“I want pizza,” said Arrow about five minutes later as I texted De that everything was good from the truck.

“I want tacos,” said Zeppelin.

“I want pasta,” said JJ, looking at me. “What’s for dinner?”

“Well since we all agree it’s so simple,” I said with a chuckle. “How about cause at least two of you have felt crappy today we splurge a little and don’t tell mom.”

“Like what?” asked JJ.

“We will get italian food and tacos and the most unhealthy dessert we can find on the menu,” I said. “Eat whatever you want tonight.”

“Don’t we do that always?” asked Arrow.

“Yeah but dad’s a on a diet,” said JJ. I rolled my eyes and she held up her hands. 

“I wasn’t on a diet. I had a cholesterol test and didn’t want to get yelled at by the doctor thank you very much,” I said. “But that was yesterday and I’m a free man now. We can go home and have leftover chicken salad if that’s what you guys want.”

“Not at all what we said, right guys?” said JJ.

“That’s what I thought you’d say. Seatbelts and someone look up some menus on their phones.”

One Hour Later

JJ burped from her seat, Arrow letting out one herself, the pair of them giggling as they dug into their desserts. Zeppelin shockingly didn’t want his so I saved it in the freezer for later. I figured the pain meds they’d given him had finally kicked in. I was cleaning up at the sink, the girls in the movie room when he came up behind me and gave me a hug.

“Feel any better?” I asked. I spun around and returned it, a little surprised when he snuggled into my chest. I ran my hand over his head and he took a deep breath.

“I’m really tired, dad,” he said. 

“That’s the medicine they gave you. How about an early bedtime tonight and you’ll wake up feeling a lot better in the morning.”

“Okay,” he said, still not moving. 

“Alright, alright,” I said. I moved back and squatted down, hoisting him up, legs wrapping around my back. “You better not be taller than me or else this is gonna get real difficult once you hit your growth spurt.”

“Okay,” he mumbled, resting his head on my shoulder.

“I gotcha,” I said. I got him upstairs and set him down on his bed, Zeppelin out by the time I tugged his covers down. I pulled them up over top and kissed his head. “Night kiddo.”

I turned off the lights and went downstairs, tidying up and pouring myself a glass of whiskey. It burned a bit but the good kind, not too overwhelming. I was about to head to the movie room when I caught something on the floor. I picked up the note and smiled.

DAD CHECK FRIDGE

“Well what did you leave us,” I said to myself, opening it up. There was a casserole dish with a note taped to it and I pulled it out.

Made an extra serving of chicken penne (tons of cheese for you). Just stick in the oven and I figure you four can survive another day without mom. Tell Zepp to stop trying to crack his skull open while you’re at it. Love ya. - Y/N

“What would we do without you and your mother,” I chuckled. I heard someone calling my name and I poured more whiskey into my drink. “Please don’t be twilight again. Please please don’t be that again.”

I carried the glass over to the tv room, the girls bundled up on either side of the couch. I didn’t make a face when I saw the sparkly vampire on the screen and was pretty proud of myself. They both started to laugh and I shook my head.

“Dad we know you hate it,” said JJ. “We wanna watch one of your movies.”

“Well well, tonight is a good time to introduce you two to a little movie called Tommy Boy.”

“Night giggles,” I said, the girls heading up to bed after the movie. I stretched out and went to my room, going out on the balcony and taking a seat outside, closing my eyes as I leaned back. “So. Got another question for you guys if you’re in the mood for listening tonight. TJ found some photos and some of your guys stuff. Not quite sure what the best way to give it to her is though. I feel like some fanfare should be involved. Nothing crazy but you know, make it special. Any genius ideas and I’d love to hear them.”

I took a sip from my drink, a light breeze in the night air.

“Someday I’d appreciate it if I got a little more feedback. Just saying,” I said. “She was a cute kid. Still cute but you know what I mean. Just want to get this one right.”

I sat outside for a while, texting for a bit until I got a bit too cold. I locked up and walked around the house, arming the security system before I climbed into bed. I groaned as I plopped down, barely getting my phone on the charger before I was curling up to sleep. My eyes wandered over to the phone when a text from TJ popped up.

Read the letter. Thanks. Means more than you know. Honestly.

Just don’t forget what I said, k? Night TJ

Night Jensen

“Now if only the other three could find ones like that, then we’d be pretty damn lucky,” I said to myself. I chuckled when I saw one last text pop up. I rolled over in bed to De’s side and used her pillow, snuggling down into it. Three more days and she’d be home again to help stop the crazy. Or at least slow it down.

The Next Day

“Alright so I came up with the perfect way to do it last night,” said TJ as he walked into the gym where I was running on the treadmill.

“I hope you knew how to do it before considering you have a child or else this is going to be very awkward.”

“Smartass,” he said. 

“One of my best qualities,” I said as I hopped off. “Hit me with it.”

“A letter,” he said with a smile.

“You want to write her one go right ahead but…” I said with a shrug. “It’s definitely important but it’s not a letter kind of thing for me.”

“You literally write sappy letters for your children’s life changing events all the time.”

“TJ. I didn’t make these things or buy them for her. Her parents took those pictures. I can’t write a letter. It’s not my gift to give.”

“It’s not a gift though. It’s-”

“TJ, I’m not writing one. You don’t force that shit. Not the important shit. You should write her a letter and tell her how you found the stuff. That’d be really sweet.”

“So you don’t want to be involved in this now,” he said. I took a deep breath and stared at him. “I’m just trying to understand why you’re changing your mind.”

“I’m not her dad, TJ,” I said, putting my hands on my hips. “I’m not the guy in those photos. It feels awkward if I did that. Those are her memories. You found them. This is totally your thing. You do whatever you want or I’ll help but I’m not writing her a letter, alright?”

He scoffed and I crossed my arms, narrowing my eyes.

“TJ. Enough.”

“You’re so fucking stupid. For someone really smart you’re an idiot, Jensen,” he said as he turned to leave.

“Excuse me but why don’t you say what you have to say to my face,” I said. He stopped and turned around, walking over to me, his jaw clenched. “What.”

“If she ever heard those words out of your mouth, it’d destroy her. You literally do not understand how important you are to her you idiot.”

“I understand perfectly well how-” I said before TJ audibly growled. A part of me was happy for a moment at that reaction. Obviously he was pissed and trying to do something to benefit Y/N. For the most part though I had no clue what he was talking about. “Clearly I don’t understand what this is about so-”

“You fought for her, Jensen. I wasn’t there but I know how it was when she came to this house. She ran away. She didn’t want to be here. But you made her a promise, that you cared. No one cared about her for years. I don’t think even you know how deep that hole inside of her was. None of us do. But she tried because you were so damn adamant. Everyday it terrified her. Until it didn’t. Until you got from that first day to now. Jensen you ever tell her you’re not her father to her face and I’ll kick your fucking ass.”

I blinked a few times and frowned, opening my mouth to speak but nothing came out. 

“You are her father. She had two. That’s all there is to it. If you think you’re second place or that she loves you any less, you haven’t been paying attention good enough. There is no dad that raised her and dad that adopted her. It’s just dad to her, that’s it. Why don’t you stop being the scared one for once, take a page out of her book and put some fucking trust in your daughter that she loves you just as much as her first father. Understand that?”

I swallowed and nodded, walking out the side door and to the backyard. I walked down to the dock and took a seat, closing my eyes as I exhaled.

“Jensen,” said TJ behind me.

“I got the message kid,” I said. 

“I’m sorry for...I just don’t understand why you’re afraid of believing her. What she’s saying isn’t a bad thing.”

“No,” I said as he took a seat beside me. “But I don’t want to wipe away who he was or who her mom was either. I am her second father. I didn’t get unconditional love off the bat like you do with your own children. I guess part of me is afraid she’ll decide it’s conditional again one day.”

“Do you get why I called you stupid?” he asked.

“TJ, I know how I have always felt but it wasn’t like that for her. That’s okay. But I can’t…” I shrugged.

“Can’t trust that she won’t hurt you and say it’s conditional again?”

“Exactly.”

“Funny. A seventeen year old girl found a way to trust you. You’re fifty one and you should know better than her.”

“I’m older and bigger and stronger but I’m not tougher. She had the hard job all along. Just don’t know if she knew that.”

“You know...I know some of the nitty gritty details about the accident. Y/N told me a month back. She didn’t want to but I needed to know, for myself.”

“Did she now,” I said, looking out at the water, watching as a boat went past.

“I know you’re alive because of her. I know you two fought pretty good during it all. I know she screamed at you that she wasn’t leaving you. The girl kept you alive when you should have died. I don’t know what more she has to do to prove to you that there is nothing you could do to make her not love you unconditionally. So suck it up and own that you’re her dad. Write a fucking letter, don’t write a fucking letter. Just stop being scared of her hurting you. She stopped being afraid of you a long time ago.”

“I thought you were kinda nerdy when we first met,” I said. “That was the first time Y/N called me dad actually.”

“You’re a nerd,” he said and I smiled.

“You are as kind and gentle and as much of a best friend to her as I could ever hope for. I love you kid. But I’ve never seen you mad like that. Wasn’t sure if you were capable of it. Now I know you will do anything for her, even jeopardize a relationship with me, one you need in your life too.”

“I care about you but nothing will ever be more important to me than her and my children.”

“I will think about writing a letter,” I said. He nodded and I returned it. “For the record, you so couldn’t kick my ass.”

“I could still try,” he said.

“I suppose you could. Let’s not ever test it out,” I said. He hummed and I stood up. “Thanks kiddo. Always get a little wrapped up when it comes to her for some reason.”

“Not a bad thing,” he said. 

“Can’t wait to see you freaking out over your daughter. Ah, that’ll be nice. Let’s have this chat when she’s sixteen.”

“Your daughter is sixteen,” he said with a smirk.

“Shut up. I don’t even want to think about whatever she gets up to with that boy,” I said.

“Just fyi, she’s a smart, innocent kid. Like innocent innocent. She talks to her sister. You’re good.”

“I’m totally not gonna shove you in the water now for that,” I said. “Come on. You can help me wash the cars.”

“What? Why?” he groaned.

“That’s what you get for coming in like a hothead. Come on. I might even let you drive Baby when we’re done.”

Later That Night

I’d just sat down with a sheet of paper and pen when I got a text from Y/N, tons of pictures of her from when she was little coming in.

OMG. TJ found these at my old house. Can you believe it! We’re gonna make copies of everything for you and mom.

I smiled and sat back, scrolling through them for a few minutes.

That’s awesome! We’ll take whatever we can get. You were pretty cute, tall munchkin.

I got in another bunch of pictures, stopping at a set in a frame. There was a black and white one of her and her dad from when she was little the two of them looking straight at the camera and laughing, a bit of ice cream stuck on Y/N’s nose. The one on the far right was one of us in a very similar pose after a day on the lake, Y/N cracking up. The center one was a little less crisp but it was easy enough to see that TJ had gotten a picture from the home video with me and her parents, this one of me and her dad giving each other a smile as a very small Y/N was passed between us.

TJ made this up for me. Isn’t it so cool? I love it so freaking much. It’s perfect. 

“Yeah it is,” I said. I wrote back and wiped off my face with the back of my hand, JJ standing there in the doorway when I moved my hand back. She walked over and gave me a hug and I showed her the photos, a big smile crossing her face. 

“That’s so cool. Y/N’s dad was a dork like you,” she said. 

“I’m Y/N’s dad ya dork,” I said, pulling her into a noogie. She laughed and plopped down on my knee, scrolling through my phone. I gave her a hug, JJ looking through the phone for a few minutes. 

“Dad. Why were you crying?”

“Got a little emotional for a second is all,” I said. “Sometimes I forget that I make her smile as much as her other dad did.”

“I like this one,” she said, turning the phone around, showing another one from the airport but not something I recognized from the tape. I vaguely recalled something to do with a bear and scratched my head.

“Uh oh,” I said as I glanced over at the main corridor. There was a teddy bear on the ground, not too far off from where I’d found that little girl a few minutes earlier. “Tell mom I’ll be back in a minute.”

“Don’t miss the flight doofus,” said my sister and I rolled my eyes as I stood up.

“Loser,” I said before I walked over and picked up the bear. I looked down at the other gates, knowing Y/N’s family had taken off that way. I started walking, trying to look around but these were big flights and there were a million people everywhere. 

I pursed my lips and kept going, looking all around before I felt something hugging the back of my leg.

“Hi Jay!” said Y/N, looking up at me as I spun around. I saw her mom shaking her head as her dad stood up and walked over.

“What’d we say about you staying with your parents?” I laughed. I held out the bear and she immediately looked relieved.

“You found Teddy! Daddy Jay found Teddy!” she said as she hopped up and down, squeezing the thing for dear life.

“Finding the bear might have been an even bigger crisis averted than before,” chuckled her dad. “I guess we Y/L/N’s owe you one.”

“I just saw it and figured it was hers. She’s having a rough day,” I said, glancing down as she beamed up at me.

“Oh yeah, clearly,” he chuckled. “You in college yet?”

“Uh no sir. I just graduated highschool. I might go in the winter if my plans don’t work out,” I said.

“Nothing wrong with manual work for a living.”

“I’m gonna try and be an actor,” I said. 

“Any good?”

“No idea.”

“Well, you better let me get a picture of you and the kiddo for if you make it big someday. We can say we knew you were before you were famous,” he said.

“I’d settle for not flopping on my face,” I said, rubbing the back of my neck.

“Come on you two,” he said, pulling out a disposable camera. I squatted down and Y/N gave me a hug. He took a few and laughed as I stood up. “I do not know what it is about you she’s so in love with. She’s normally quite shy around strangers.”

“Me too,” I said. “Hey munchkin. Do me a favor and stay with your parents for me? Please?”

“Okie dokie,” she said, skipping back over to her mom.

“Thanks for the bear and finding her, kid,” he said as I started to go. “I hope that acting thing works out for you. If it doesn’t, consider doing something with kids. You’re great with ‘em.”

“I don’t think I could handle more than whatever I end up making myself,” I said. “And maybe a kid like yours. She’s pretty easy going.”

“You got a long time ahead of you before you get there. Have a safe flight back, Jensen.”

“You too, Mr. Y/L/N.”

“Dad, hello,” said JJ, her hand waving in front of my face. I blinked and shook my head, smiling at the picture. “What’s that from?”

“I found her bear, gave it back to her.”

“How old were you?” she asked.

“Oh, only a few years older than you,” I said. “Still just a kid.”

“You should hang it up with our little kid pictures,” she said.

“I think I just might,” I said. “It never bothered you, us bringing your sister here, did it? You were young at the time and I knew we had a few rough first weeks but I mean even as you got older. You never felt like mom and I didn’t care about you guys as much right?”

“No,” she said, shaking her head. “We got a big sister. It’s nice having one of those. We just wanted her to be happy I think. She tells me more stuff now that I’m older. I literally can’t imagine living her life. I just can’t. It sounds terrifying.”

“Only a part was. We gave her a family back, including you,” I said. I booped her nose and she smiled. “So. What are your plans tonight? Hang out with the Pad boys?”

“Nah. They’re doing something with Cody tonight. I thought we could hang out if you’re not going anywhere,” she said.

“No, no plans for me tonight. Why don’t you go round up the other two and we’ll go play some minigolf. How’s that sound?”

“Okie dokie,” she said. I smiled and she left the room. I picked up my phone and shoved it in my pocket, stretching as I stood up. I leaned over to my desk drawer and put the paper and pen back inside, a few envelopes with letters already in there. She popped back into view and I closed it up.

“All set?”

“Mhm. Are we taking your truck?”

“Let’s take Baby out,” I said, walking around the desk. “After you, kiddo.”

_______

A/N: Read the Halloween timestamp here!

[watchyourbluesturngolden]

cats and babies

This is the first piece I’ve ever written so if anyone sees this be nice pls and thank u

There could be typos/ weird formatting, this was typed entirely on my phone

I also feel the need to say all of my medical knowledge is from Grey’s anatomy and googling things I saw on grey’s anatomy so this is probably not that accurate ¯\_(ツ)_/¯  

Word count: 6,160

Warnings: Car accidents, blood, angst (but with a v happy ending ofc bc sad endings are Not For Me), hospitals/medical stuff, again a very happy ending, I would like to emphasize the happy ending so no one gets scared away from reading this, did I mention there’s a happy ending?

"So, what'd'ya say? Chinese?"

They were deciding where to go for dinner after a long day of touring their favorite art museums. Harry and Y/N had been dating about two years now, and (cheesy as it sounds) they loved each other more and more every day. 

"Chinese sounds great," Y/N smiled, glancing over at Harry. The golden sun reflected off his curls, making him look absolutely angelic. 

He smiled, which turned into a chuckle, which turned into full blown laughter. She was confused. "What is it?" What's so hilariou- eyes on the road!!" 

"Sorry, sorry," he laughed. "Nothing, just- do you-" he breathed slowly, calming down a bit. "Do you remember the first time we had Chinese food? She blushed, laughing with him at the memory. 

Their first date had been... disastrous, to say the least. They had both been nervous, but both trying to act confident. They had decided on a nice, fancy, black tie restaurant, and Y/N was excited. When he picked her up in a limousine, she was hardly unable to contain herself.

However, their plan fell apart almost from the beginning. When they got to the place, a big red sign read "CLOSED FOR REPAIRS"

"Ooook... that's... weird," Y/N had grimaced. "What should we do now?" 

"Uh... we could... try the one a few blocks over? Yeah, that's a good place too, I know the owner. He always has a table for me. That'll work!"

Y/N hasn't quite cared about the wrench thrown into their plans. She really liked Harry so far, and she though he liked her too. So she chirped "Sure! Sounds great."

She hadn't noticed how embarrassed he looked when he opened the car door for her. He couldn't believe his luck! He was finally on a date with a girl he really liked, really wanted to impress, and the best restaurant in town closed with no notice? How could this happen? But he shook it off, climbing in after her and alerting the driver of their change of plans. 

When they got to the next place, Harry immediately got worried. It looked very crowded, and while the owner usually held a table for Harry, it didn't seem so tonight. 

He pulled out his phone.

"Hey, Luke! Yeah, I'm great! Listen, do you by any chance have a table-" He paused, and then his face fell. His voice kept its happy tone, though. "No, no problem at all, I understand. Yeah, for sure, a different night. Thank you!" He hung up, looking more than a little dejected. 

Y/N put a hand on his arm. "It's ok, I promise. I swear I didn't just agree to go out with you for the fancy food. We can go anywhere, 'Im really not upset!" 

"Agh, thank you. You're very sweet. But really, you deserve a fancy place. Only it seems everyone in the world is determined to make sure we don't get to do that," He huffed. "Maybe..." And he pulled out his phone again. He glanced at her curious face. "How do you feel about Chinese?" He asked sheepishly.

  Y/N beamed. "I love it," and there was no trace of insincerity on her face. 

"Right then, Chinese it is!" he found the closest place on his phone, telling the driver the address.

After a few minutes of eating, Y/N looked around the table for a fork. She could handle big foods, like the chicken, with the chopsticks, but definitely not the rice. 

Harry asked what she needed. She was a bit embarrassed to tell him she wasn't good enough with chopsticks to eat her rice, but he was kind about it. He helped show her how to use them without making too big of a mess. Still, she dropped half her plate on a napkin in her lap. 

At the end of their meal, Y/N burst out laughing when she picked up her napkin. Harry looked at her, confused, until she placed what was basically a full serving of rice on the table. He was also unable to contain his laughter, to which Y/N responded by throwing a few grains of rice at him. 

He threw a balled up napkin at her, and she blew a straw wrapper in his face. This escalated until she splashed what was left of her water glass on him. There was stunned silence for a moment, and Y/N thought she went too far. Then he looked at her and burst into laughter. She sighed in relief, laughing with him. "I'm sorry, that was too much," but she couldn't keep the smile off her face at the sight of the water dripping down his face.

"A little water never hurt anyone," he said, his eyes twinkling as he splashed her with his own water. 

Y/N was pulled from the happy memory of their first date when the car skidded on the ice. 

"Careful... if I'd known it was this slippery we'd have found a closer place," she said nervously.

"Nah, we've talked about this, the only good place is the one two towns over. I understand you love Minnesota and all but it is NOT the best place to find good Chinese food," he smirked.

"I will not have this Minnesota slander, not in this house. Maybe you're the issue, with your sophisticated taste and all," Y/N said, laughing at his disgruntled look. "Sophisticated? I took you for Chinese food on our first date. Nothing about that screams "sophisticated" to me." 

"Yeah, but we were dressed VERY fancy. That counts," Y/N laughed. 

"Oh really? that's what makes me sophisticated? alright then, you're right, I'm, extremely-" 

The car slid just a little too far for Y/N's liking. 

"Harry, are you sure it's safe to be driving on this? I think it's getting worse, and- look, it's starting to rain." She checked the weather on her phone. "Yeah, it's at that weird temperature where it's halfway freezing. The road will be worse on the way back." 

"I think we're ok," He reassured her. "The car has 4 wheel drive, and I'll go slow. I think the biggest danger is us not getting our Chinese food," he smiled at her. "Uh, no," Y/N said, rolling her eyes. "I'd say the biggest danger is crashing and dying in a firey car wreck." 

"Always so negative, Y/N," Harry laughed. "We're perfectly fine-" he spoke too soon, because right then the car slid again. A lot, this time. They almost slid right through a stop sign. 

Y/N clutched the armrest. 

"We're almost there, you better not kill me before I get my Chinese food, Styles. I finally know how to eat rice with chopsticks without..." She stopped halfway through her sentence because she was laughing so hard. "Without... dropping all of it on my lap." 

They dissolved into giggles, especially when Harry said, "got any more water to throw at me?" 

The car slid once more, and Y/N felt her pocket nervously. She had bought a ring for Harry. It was nothing too special, but it was the one year anniversary of the first time they had gone to an art museum together. She wanted to commemorate that with something special, so she had gone to the museum gift shop and found the perfect ring. It had a silver band, a little thinner than the rest of his, and a labradorite stone set into it. She thought it would complement his other jewelry nicely. 

She kept her hand on the little box in her pocket, careful not to make Harry suspicious. 

He wasn't looking at her, though; he was completely focused on the road. His hands gripped the wheel hard enough to turn his knuckles white. Y/N felt a little more nervous seeing this. Harry was an excellent driver, and he usually had one hand on the wheel and the other holding hers. He only gripped the wheel this tightly when he felt unsafe driving. 

Y/N looked out at the darkening sky. She was not a fan of storms, especially ones that make the roads icy. Like a true Minnesotan, she knew that under the right circumstances, a bit of rain could make it nearly impossible to drive.

A car sped past them, almost veering into their lane when it went over a particularly icy patch. 

"Harry, really, I don't know if we should keep going," Y/N said nervously.

"I know, but I'm not sure what we should do. I think it's safer to just keep going and hope the rain stops. We're about 10 minutes away, but if we turn around it's almost a 2 hour drive." 

"Yeah... you're right. It's better to just keep going. Just... go slow," Y/N said, biting the inside of her cheek. 

"Stop doing that," Harry chided in a singsong voice. 

"How can you even tell? you weren't even looking at me," Y/N laughed. 

"I know how you are when you're nervous, Y/N. Biting your cheek won't do anything but hurt." 

Y/N smiled. She had never had someone care this much about her. Someone who knew her this well, almost better than she knew herself. She was so hopelessly in love... 

She was so busy thinking about what she would say when she gave him the ring that she didn't hear the horn blaring. She looked up just in time to see the truck driving straight down the middle of the road towards them. 

She could tell instantly the driver of the truck couldn't do anything. He was sliding on the ice like they had before. Harry jerked the wheel to the right, moving the car out of the way. 

It wasn't enough.

Y/N heard a horribly loud crashing noise, and then there was nothing. 

Y/N shot straight up out of the bed she was in, gasping. Someone put their hands on her shoulders, trying to soothe her and get her to lay back down. She pushed the hands away as her vision came into focus. She was in a room filled with people and noise and 𝘱𝘦𝘰𝘱𝘭𝘦.

She panicked for a minute before she realized where she was. Clearly an Emergency Room. There were 4 doctors and nurses around her, checking her eyes, ears, reflexes, pulse, breathing. She threw her arms out to try and get some space. One of the nurses caught her hand, holding it in both of hers. 

"Y/N, you're alright. You're in the hospital. You were in a car accident. Do you have any pain? Whe-"

"Harry! Where's Harry?? I need to see him, I have to, I have to go-" She stuttered as she pushed the doctors away from her, trying to get up again.

  The same nurse held her back.

"Y/N, we need to make sure you're ok before you can get up. If you let us help, you'll be able to see Harry sooner. Can you lay back? Do you have any pain?"

  "No, no I'm fine, I'm ok! I need to see Harry, I need to know if he's ok! Please!" Y/N looked frantically around at the doctors, hoping one of them knew something. 

The doctor who appeared to be in charge ordered, "Someone go get an update on the guy they brought in with her. See how he's doing." 

"Thank you, thank you so much," Y/N breathed, finally laying back. 

"There we go. Do you have any pain Y/N?" The nurse asked again. 

"No, I'm totally fine. I'm- " Y/N brushed her hair out of her face. When are brought her arm down, she saw that her hand was covered in blood. "I'm bleeding!" She cried, panicking. 

"It's ok, it's not too bad," one of the doctors said, examining her head. "It looks like it'll need maybe 5 or 6 stitches. We can fix that up right away." 

Y/N closed her eyes. How had this happened? Harry moved the wheel, she knew he did. How had they crashed this badly? 

The doctor who had been sent to check on Harry came back into the room. Y/N snapped her eyes open, looking at her expectantly.

"He is stable. That's the important thing right now. However, he's been pretty badly injured. He broke his femur and clavicle. He has a small brain bleed, and he is covered in cuts from the glass. He's also pretty bruised from the airbag and seatbelt. He is intubated, because he was having some trouble breathing. He might need surgery to repair the brain bleed, but right now they're waiting and hoping it will get better on it's own." 

Y/N exhaled. "But... he's ok? I mean... he's alive?" 

The doctor smiled. "Yes. He's doing ok." 

Y/N finally allowed herself to breathe. She noticed she was crying but she didn't do anything to wipe her tears away. 

"Ok, Y/N," said the doctor stitching up her face. "I'm finished here. You need to stay here for a little while longer so we can monitor you. There is an IV in your arm to keep you hydrated. If you need anything, call for a nurse. Also, and this is important, don't get out of this bed without someone helping you. You've been through a lot today, but the adrenaline is wearing off, which might make you feel shaky. Do you need anything right now?" 

"No, I'm... I'm fine. Thank you," Y/N said, wiping her eyes. 

After he left her bed, she felt her pocket. She breathed a sigh of relief when she felt the ring still there. Then she mentally kicked herself for being worried about a silly ring when Harry was... no. She wouldn't let herself think that. Harry was 𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘦. They were both alive, and they were both ok.

About an hour later, a nurse came in. After confirming that she felt totally fine, Y/N anxiously asked when she could see Harry. 

"I'm sorry, the ICU is family only," The nurse said. She really did look sorry, but this did nothing to make Y/N feel better. 

"I- I'm his wife!" Y/N said quickly, not even thinking. She most definitely was 𝘯𝘰𝘵 his wife. She wasn't even his fiancee. She slipped the ring from her pocket onto her finger, then held up her hand to the nurse. 

The nurse pretended not to notice the fact that the ring hadn't been there before, and that the ring was easily a size too big. "Oh! Then of course you can see him," She said, helping Y/N off the bed slowly. "I'll take you to his room." 

"Thank you so much," Y/N said, taking her first few steps slowly. 

"Careful- you're still attached to this IV pole," The nurse said, adjusting the tubing so it wasn't in her way. "You can hold onto it for support- yes, just like that." 

Y/N got more nervous with every step towards Harry's room. What would he look like? Would he be in pain? Would he know who she was? Would he... be mad at her? 

When she walked into his room, she almost started crying all over again. He looked, well, awful. He was covered in cuts and bruises. He had several tubes and wires connected to him, as well as a large tube taped in his mouth. He had a cast on his leg and a sling on his arm.

Y/N looked at the nurse who was taking his vitals. 

"How is he?" She asked in a small voice. 

"He's ok for now. He is stable, which is very good. He's unconscious, but we hope to see him wake up soon. You can sit with him, hold his hand, talk to him. If you need anything, just press the call button." 

She left, leaving Y/N and Harry alone. This time, she really did start crying. This was awful, and it was all her fault. She was the one who wanted to go for Chinese food. She was the one who picked today, the first wintery stormy day of the year to go for a long drive. And now.. 

"Harry... Harry I'm so sorry," Y/N said, sniffling. She held onto his hand, the one that wasn't attached to a broken collarbone.  "This is all my fault, and now you're... and I got off with nothing but a cut on my forehead, and it's not fair and I'm so sorry," She let out a sob. 

She continued on like this, crying and talking and crying some more, for a few hours, before she fell asleep in the chair next to him. She woke up around 9 the next morning with a stiff next and puffy eyes. She looked at his face, still covered in bruises, and kissed his hand. The nurse came in to check on him and told Y/N to go get some breakfast, reminding her that she couldn't care for Harry if she didn't care for herself. Y/N reluctantly agreed, going as fast as she could. The nurse had disconnected her IV sometime in the night, and she could move much faster without it. 

She got back to the room with her bagel and resumed her position in the chair right next to Harry. She talked to him as if he was awake, imagining she heard his beautiful voice responding to her. 

She had managed to keep the crying to a minimum today. She kept telling herself that if- no, 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 Harry woke up, she didn't want to look like a monster with red eyes. 

Her phone had been found by some paramedics, so she found Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone online and began to read to him. It was a little weird, but Harry loved these books, especially when he was sick.

Y/N was used to just imagining she heard his voice with her in the room, but suddenly she heard something that wasn't her. She gasped. 

"He's choking!! Nurse!!" She yelled for help, frantically pushing the call button. "Help!" 

Several nurses rushed in. One ushered Y/N back and out of the room, telling her to give them space to work. 

"What's- What's happening? What are they doing??" Y/N tried to go back in, but the nurse held her shoulders. 

"He's trying to breathe over the tube, Y/N. That's a very good sign. It means he's breathing on his own," The nurse said, trying to keep Y/N calm. 

"Does- does that mean he's waking up?" Y/N asked, not wanting to get her hopes up. 

"Not for sure, but it's a very good sign."

After a few minutes, the nurses came out of Harry's room, looking excited. "Y/N, he's awake! He's very groggy and can't speak yet, but he is definitely awake. You can go in and sit with him again if you'd like. We gave him some more medicine for the pain, so you have about 15 minutes to talk before he starts going a little..." She made a swirling motion next to her head. 

Y/N didn't care if he was high on morphine. She just cared that he was alive and awake and didn't... hate her. 

Harry was laying in the bed, looking at her with great concern in his tired eyes. He opened his mouth to speak, but no noise came out. Y/N rushed over to take his hand. 

"It's ok, they said you might not be able to talk for a little while yet. It's ok, I'm here, it's ok," Y/N said, smoothing his hair. 

Harry cleared his throat, coughing. He gestured toward the water cup on his side table. 

"Oh, of course." Y/N picked up the pitcher and poured him a glass, setting it in his good hand. 

He raised the straw shakily to his lips as   Y/N watched carefully to make sure he didn't spill. She gently lifted the cup out of his hands when he held it up to her.

His small smile was enough to make Y/N cry all over again.

"Oh, Harry," She cried, holding her head in her hands. "It's all my fault. I'm so sorry this happened, I did this to you- you almost died!" 

"W-what?"

Y/N whipped her head up. "You can talk?" She said, overjoyed.

Harry coughed and spoke again. "Of course I can talk." 

His voice was rough and it sounded like it hurt everytime he spoke, but it was the most beautiful thing Y/N had ever heard. 

"What are you talking about, it's all your fault?" He rasped, looking utterly confused. "What even happened?" 

With tears leaking from her eyes, Y/N explained all she knew, which still wasn't much. Harry remembered everything as she told him, both their eyes watering as her voice shook.

"Why... why're you crying? Does your forehead hurt? I can call the nurse..." He reached for the call button.

"No, no, I'm ok," She took his hand in hers. "I'm just so sorry, because it honestly is my fault, I'm the one who wanted Chinese food and picked 𝘵𝘰𝘥𝘢𝘺 of all days to drive 2 hours away and-" 

He cut her off by raising his finger to her lips. 

"It's not your fault... it's mine. I'm the one who convinced you the only good Chinese food is so far away and I'm the one who was driving. I couldn't keep you safe..." 

Harry had never looked so sad. 

"No!" Y/N exclaimed. "Do you not see me right now? I'm absolutely fine, you did keep me safe. You swerved out of the way... wait a minute," She paused, realization hitting her. "You didn't think we could avoid the truck at all, did you? You knew it would hit us either way, but you made sure it would hit as far from me as possible." 

Harry looked down. "I figured you're more important than me, I had to do what I could."

"Harry Styles!" Y/N whisper-yelled. "If you weren't so 𝘪𝘯𝘫𝘶𝘳𝘦𝘥 I would 𝘴𝘮𝘢𝘤𝘬 you right now! How could you do that? How could you put yourself in 𝘥𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘳 like that?" 

"Oh, that's actually why I got so injured, because I knew you'd try to hit me for this," He smiled charmingly at Y/N. She just scowled. 

"Did you really expect me to just say, "oh well, guess she's a goner! bye Y/N! nice knowin' ya!" No, of course not. Of course I'd put myself in danger for you. Always." 

Y/N's lip trembled. "Why do you have to be so romantic after you do such stupid things? it makes it really hard to stay mad at you," She said, wiping her eyes. 

"Yeah, that was the goal there," He laughed. 

Then he caught sight of the ring on her finger.

"That's pretty, when did you get that?" He mock gasped. "Did you get engaged while I was in a coma?" 

“No," Y/N laughed. "It's funny actually. I bought it from the museum gift shop. I wanted to give it to you as a present, for the anniversary of the first time we went there together. I was going to give it to you over Chinese food, and it was going to be 𝘢𝘸𝘦𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦 and 𝘯𝘰𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘭𝘨𝘪𝘤 and 𝘣𝘦𝘢𝘶𝘵𝘪𝘧𝘶𝘭." 

Harry smiled. "That's lovely of you, darling. Why... why's it on your finger though?" 

"Oh! right." Y/N sheepishly pulled the ring off her finger. "They wouldn't let me see you because I'm not family, so I threw it on and said we were married," She said, blushing furiously. "Sorry about that." 

Harry smiled. "Why are you sorry?" 

"Um... we're 𝘯𝘰𝘵 married... so... I don't know, I just thought you might think it's weird, or, something..."  Y/N finished lamely. She held the ring out to him. 

"Happy anniversary." 

"Why don't you keep it?" 

"Right, of course, you don't need a reminder of this day," Y/N slipped the ring back into her pocket, on the verge of tears because she messed up 𝘢𝘨𝘢𝘪𝘯.

"No, that's not... I meant, why don't you keep it... on your finger?" 

She pulled the ring out of her pocket again, looking confused. "Why?" 

Harry plucked it out of her hand, holding it up to her. "Because I want you to marry me," He said, slipping it onto her finger with the sweetest smile she had ever seen. 

Y/N smiled at him. "It's ok, Harry, you're very high on all the painkillers right now. I won't hold you to anything you say," She laughed a little. 

"I'm not... why would I be on painkiller... oh yeah," Harry grinned, looking around. "I remember why I'm high right now." 

"Riiight." 

"I might be high, but I still want to marry you," he said is a singsong voice. 

Y/N laughed. "Harry, why don't we talk about this when you're sober, ok?"

Harry pouted. "Please? Please marry me? I love you, and you're so pretty, and you're so nice to animals..." He started crying, apparently at how nice Y/N was to animals. "And... a cat! We can get a cat together!" 

"Harry, baby, don't cry, of course we can get a cat," She gently wiped the tears from his bruised face. 

"I won't stop crying until you say you'll marry me," Harry said defiantly, gripping    Y/N's arm. "Pleeeaaase?" 

"Ok, Harry, yes, I will marry you. Sure. You can stop crying now, ok?" 

"That's good, I'm glad, because you're my favorite person, and I looooove you, and you're my baaaaby..." 

At this point Harry was just singing random words, usually circling back to "baaaaby" and "looooove youuuu". 

Y/N felt happy for the first time in what felt like years, while really it had been less than 24 hours. 

Eventually, he wanted to see the ring again. Y/N held up her hand and he gasped. 

"It's so beautiful! I'll buy you a real one though, a real ring for our real wedding. Then we'll get a real house and have real babies, and a real cat," He said, with the dopiest grin Y/N had ever seen. 

"Oh? We'll have babies, huh? How many babies will we have?" 

"3," He answered quickly. "Two girls and a boy. No... 4. Two of each. That way they won't team up one of them." 

"Oh, sounds like you've thought about this a lot," Y/N laughed.

  "Every single day since we started dating, you know why?" 

"Why?" 

He motioned for her to lean closer.

  "Because I looooove you," He sang in her ear.

She pulled back, kissing his swollen cheek. 

"You're a sweetheart," She said affectionately. 

"So're you," He smiled. 

"I kind of like drugged Harry," Y/N laughed. "He's very cute." 

"Drugged Harry also likes drugged Harry, he feels like he's floating." 

"Oh, so drugged Harry talks about himself in the third person?" 

"He does now!" Harry smiled at her again. "Drugged Harry is tired... he's just going to..." 

Then the monitors started beeping rapidly. Several nurses ran in, bustling around and shouting various medical terminology. Another nurse ushered Y/N out of Harry's room for the second time that day. 

"No! No, I need to stay with him! I can't-"

"Shh... it's alright. They're going to do everything they can to help him. You have to let them help him. Why don't we go to the waiting room?"

Y/N exhaled shakily. If she couldn't stay with Harry, she might as well sit instead of hovering around the corner. 

"Yes, let's go to the waiting room," She said, after a few deep breaths. 

Y/N had been sitting on the waiting room for what felt like an eternity, but a glance at her phone told her it had only been 45 minutes. 

A woman in a surgical gown approached her, and Y/N stood up quickly. "What happened?" She asked immediately.

"Unfortunately, your husband's brain bleed did not resolve itself like we had hoped. He is in surgery, and for right now he's doing well," the surgeon said, looking sympathetic. 

"Ok... why did the monitors freak out? Did his heart stop? Is he going to wake up from surgery?" 

"The monitors went off because his heart was having trouble, but they were able to resuscitate him through CPR and defibrillation. It's too soon to know if he will wake up, but the surgeon is hopeful. I will come back to update you as soon as I can."

"Ok, thank you," Y/N said, sinking back into her chair.

  She felt a pain in her chest, like real, actual pain. What would she do without Harry? How would she live with herself, knowing he died trying to save her? 

She caught a glimpse of the ring on her finger and choked back a sob. Would she tell people she was engaged? No, of course not. Harry had been completely out of his mind when he'd asked her. 

She slumped down in her chair, wanting to curl up and cry. Instead, she called her mom. Through her tears, she explained everything that happened. 

"Oh, honey," Her mom sighed. "I'm so sorry. I'm on my way. I'll be there in about 7 hours, I'm sorry it'll take so long. Do you want to stay on the phone with me?"

  "No, I can't," Y/N sniffled. "I have to call Harry's family."

  "Do you want me to do that? I wouldn't mind, they're-"

"No, mom, thank you, but I should. I- I'm going to go. Love you," Y/N said, hanging up the phone. 

Checking her phone, Y/N realized it was the middle of the night in London where Harry's family lived. She didn't think she should wait, so she called Anne without another thought. 

"Oh, Y/N, I'm so sorry. We're getting the soonest flight. We won't be there until tomorrow morning. Will you be alright alone? Is your mother coming?" 

"Yes, my mom's on her way. I'm ok, thank you," Y/N said, rubbing her eyes. 

After she hung up the phone, it set in just how exhausted she was. She had slept poorly the night before, because of the awkwardness of sleeping in a chair and because she was so, so, worried for Harry.

She drifted into a fitful sleep where she dreamed of cars crashing, rings flying around, and Harry standing just out of her reach. He was like a rainbow, the closer she got to him, the more he faded. 

She startled awake and realized there were tears on her face. She checked her phone, seeing that it had only been 3 hours.  

She saw the same woman from before approaching her, this time wearing just scrubs. 

Y/ N stood to meet her. 

"Harry is out of surgery and doing well. We were able to repair the brain bleed. His heart stopped on the table," Y/N gasped at this, "But we were able to get him back. His ribs will be very sore and possibly even broken. All that aside, he is doing well, Mrs. Styles, and you can see him now," She said, Leading Y/N to the elevator. 

Her breath trembled as they walked towards his room. 

Harry was laying in his bed, looking like a fragile child. Even though he was so much bigger than her, right now he seemed so... small. 

Y/N looked at the nurse, asking to sit with him. She nodded and explained that two of his ribs were fractured and his collarbone would hurt him a lot when he woke up. 

Y/N held his hand with a featherlight touch, unwilling to jostle him even the smallest bit. 

After about an hour of her reading to him, she felt a small movement, barely even noticeable. Was it...?

She felt another movement. This time she was sure of it. He was squeezing her hand.

"I'm here Harry, I'm right here," She soothed,  moving her chair closer to him.

  He groaned sleepily before opening his emerald eyes and looking at her.

  "Hi," he smiled, squeezing her hand again. 

"Hi," Y/N said, crying more than a little bit. 

"What... did... are you ok?" Harry's brow furrowed. He seemed to have a hundred questions, but he settled on asking how she was. 

"Yes, Harry, I'm ok. How do you feel?" 

"Hurts," he said, closing his eyes. "But if you're ok, so am I." 

Y/N kissed his hand. "I see drugged Harry is still here? The one that is 𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 cute and sweet?" 

"No, he's not. This is just regular Harry. I can tell because everything 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 hurts," He said with a small grimace.

"Oh, I'll get the nurse. They'll give you something," Y/N started to get up, but Harry's grip on her hand tightened. 

"Wait," he said pulling her back to him. "Before they make me go all loopy, I just want to say-" He paused, looking at the ring on her finger. "I love you, to my fiancee. I think it counts more when I'm not high." 

"Your- your fiancee? Harry, I told you I wouldn't hold you to anything you said before. You weren't in your right mind at all, I didn't even think you'd remember saying all that." 

"Yeah, but I remember asking you to marry me and you said yes. You might not be holding me to anything I said, but I'm holding you to that," He grinned. "You really want to deny a dying man his last... dying... wish?" 

Harry flopped his good arm dramatically over his forehead, wincing at the motion. Y/N helped him slowly lower it again. 

"First of all, you're not dying. Secondly, I don't want you to go through with this because you feel obligated, or because you think I'll be upset if you aren't ready to propose. It's totally fine, I promise, but why don't we talk about this when you're feeling better?" 

"No, I feel fine," He insisted.

Y/N gave him a look. "Really? You do? Aren’t you the one who just needed help moving your arm?" 

"Irrelevant. I feel fine, like, mentally. If you don't think you're ready to be engaged to me, that's ok. But don't say no because you think I didn't mean it. I did, with every part of me. I love you, and I want you to be my wife." 

"...Really?" Y/N asked, cheeks heating up.

"Really," Harry smiled. 

"And according to drugged Harry, you want to have a cat and 4 children." 

Harry laughed, wincing immediately.

"Don't make me laugh, my chest really hurts," He said, still holding her hand. 

"Sorry, sorry, they said you have some broken ribs. Also your collarbone. Also your femur. Geez, Styles, you're kind of a mess," You laughed. 

"Yeah, really," He smiled. "But seriously, will you? Will you be my wife?" 

"Of course I will, Harry. I love you so much, of course I will," Y/N said, gently kissing his cheek. 

"Great," Harry beamed at her. "Now that we've worked that out, can you get the nurse? Drugged Harry is ready to make a comeback." 

"Oh, right, sorry," Y/N said, reaching over for the call button. 

The nurse came in, giving Harry more medicine. 

"You'll start to have some relief within a few minutes," She said, leaving them alone again.  

"One more thing Y/N," Harry said. She could already tell he was a little more relaxed. "I have to get you a ring!" 

Y/N smiled, holding up her hand. "I already have one, remember?" 

Harry waved her hand away. "No, no, a bride can't buy her own ring! What kind of... chivalrous... gentleman... would I be if I didn't buy you a beautiful ring?" 

"Ok, Harry, as soon as you get out of here, we'll go ring shopping," Y/N promised. 

"And... to the cat shelter? You said we could get a cat... a kitty, a cat, a little kitty cat..." 

Harry had started singing mumbled words about cats and love and babies. Y/N knew it was going to be a long night. Still, she had never been happier.

[domesticmail]

the one where you and mat become parents

a/n: starts as angst, ends as fluff!!! this was supposed to be a blurb but i got really carried away aksjfahskdjfhdskfjh, 2.3k words about u and mat trying to have a baby!!

shameless plug: go read my other hockey stuff here!

warnings: there is a little bit of internalized sexism for a second, so just beware!! 

Your eyes brimmed with tears, hands shaking. The test quivered between your fingers, the sole focus of your attention, the cause of the anger and disappointment writhing in knots in your stomach. Your expression turned bitter as you looked away, biting your lips to keep the tears back, refusing to acknowledge the single blue line glaring back at you.

“Honey?” Mat put a hand on your waist. He came up behind you, peered around your body at the tiny test you were gripping, white-knuckled.

You felt him exhale heavily, his arms enveloping your waist. “Oh, baby,” he murmured, pressing a gentle kiss to your neck. “I’m so sorry, sweetheart.”

You dropped the test and turned in your husband’s arms, pressed your face into his shirt and started to cry, tears streaming down your face. “It’s not okay!” You cried. “It’s not, Mat, we want a baby!”

“I know, we do,” he said gently, moving one hand to pet your hair. He laid a kiss to the crown of your head. “We want a baby.”

“And I can’t give you one,” you said bitterly. You weakened in his embrace, leaned all of your weight against him and sighed.

Shocked, Mat pulled away from you. He wiped your cheeks with both thumbs, cupping your face in his hands. “You don’t need to give me a baby to make me happy,” he insisted. “You’re perfect, with or without a baby.”

“But you want - “ You began, but Mat cut you off, raising an eyebrow.

“If we want a baby, we will try again.” He put a hand under your chin. You met his gaze with weak eyes. “There’s no you or me in this situation. It’s us. We’re a team, remember? Any decision we make - if we want a baby, if we don’t, if we want to adopt, whatever - will be a team decision, yeah? Say it with me. Making a baby is a Team Barzal decision.”

“Making a baby is a team decision,” you murmured, sniffling.

“No, no, it’s a Team Barzal decision.”

“Mat - “

He shook his head. “This is important.”

You sighed, looking away. He used his hand on your chin to make you look at him, gently guiding you back to face him. “You have to say it, babe. It’s my new thing.”

Another heavy sigh. “It’s a Team Barzal decision.”

Your husband’s face lit up in a grin, clearly pleased. “See? Wasn’t that hard.”

You sniffled grossly in response. Your nose was clogged now, head all stuffy, and your voice was all throaty and hoarse, so you sounded a bit like you had a cold when you said, “Do we want to try again?”

“My half of the team is ready to try again. Is your half?”

You opened your mouth to say yes, but hesitated. Seeing that one blue line - that negative, your nightmare,  - had killed you a little bit. You had been so nervous, so excited when your period had been late, you guys hadn’t even been trying but hey, you were financially stable, you felt like maybe, possibly, hopefully, you were ready for a baby! Mat had been ecstatic when you told him, had ran to the store almost immediately, those puppy-dog brown eyes full of joy and affection, looking at you like you were the only person on the planet.

You nearly crumbled when you saw that line, felt like you were going to fall over and dissipate into the wood floor of the hallway, just a pile of ashes. You were so excited, so ready, you hadn’t even known you’d wanted a baby until it’d been a possibility, and now you were exhausted.

Mat watched you hesitate and added, “We don’t have to try again. If your half isn’t ready, we’re not trying again.”

Your heart had broken and you hadn’t even been trying. How painful would it be then? If you were trying?

Could you take that feeling, that sinking, crumbling, breaking, shattering feeling? Were you that strong?

The short answer was you could, and you were. 

You did it again and again and again, three more times, and each time it killed you a little less.

And then, finally.

After the fourth test, you told Mat you’d try naturally one more time. If it didn’t work, then maybe it was time to have a conversation about where you wanted to go next - “Where Team Barzal goes next,” you’d said, smiling weakly, trying to make it a joke but only halfway succeeding. 

He’d done what he’d always done, smiled and nodded and told you he’d love you no matter what, that he’d be there for you regardless of what happened. “Your body, your rules, baby,” was his favorite phrase recently.

You were lucky to love someone so kind, so selfless. You knew he wanted kids, wanted to see little baby Barzals running around, clinging to his feet, begging him to make pancakes even though he just made waffles for them two minutes ago - so maybe if the fifth try didn’t work out, you’d go to IVF. That wouldn’t be bad, you hoped, but you’d had an aunt who was on IVF, and it had taken her three rounds to get pregnant. Two of those times, you know, she’d had her heart broken.

That was the aunt you’d watched tear herself apart over not being able to have kids. She was so ashamed, she didn’t even want you to bring it up to your cousin - that was absolutely forbidden. She was afraid it would make him feel bad. As if he cared.

Your mom had made sure to not pressure you to have kids after that. You’d only been thirteen, but she’d started asking you more about careers and college and post-grad plans than kids and a family, hoping, if you went down your aunt’s path, you wouldn’t beat yourself up over it. “Kids and a family are good for people who want kids and a family,” you remember her proclaiming to you at the dinner table. “If you don’t want kids, you don’t have to have them. It’s your body, Y/N. Not having kids doesn’t make you any less of a woman.”

To her credit, she’d tried really hard.

When you went to the doctor for your fifth try, to see if this was the one that would pan out, you tried not to get your hopes up. You sat quietly in the passenger seat of the Team Barzal Toyota camry, wishing Mat could’ve been here. He was pulled away, on the road for a few days - insisting every morning, without fail, that you call him, tell him if you felt different, and reminding you every day, “I love you no matter what.” You were going to wait until he came home - tomorrow - to tell him the news, good or bad. You wanted it to be in-person. 

You didn’t want to go to the appointment alone, so you asked Mat who he wanted to go in your place. You offered up your own sister, but he refused - there was only one person he would trust to go.

So that’s why Tito was driving you to the hospital. Mat had clarified for him - “If you’re in that room and not me, I’ll kill you,” being the warning he chose - that he would simply wait outside the office in the waiting room, to be there for emotional support. If you weren’t pregnant, you had somebody there to hold you. If you were, you had someone to talk to, to help you prepare. But under no circumstances was he allowed to say anything to Mat. He was to keep silent on all fronts. 

Tito was quiet in the front seat, letting the radio play softly.

All you were thinking was, “Not having kids doesn’t make you any less of a woman.” Over and over and over again.

Walking into the doctor’s office, you felt your heartbeat quicken. After checking in (and an uncomfortable conversation with the front desk woman about how no, Tito wouldn’t be coming back with you, he’s not your husband), your husband’s best friend gave you a hug. “I’m here if you need me, okay?”

You nodded. “Thank you, Tito. Really.”

He hugged you again, harder this time, then let you go and took his place in the room. A nurse came out and called your name; you followed her back.

The same doctor from last time appeared after the initial check-up procedure. “Mrs. Barzal, nice to see you again!” He greeted.

“Good to see you too, Dr. Green.” You smiled nervously.

“Mat not with us today?”

“No, just me.”

“Okay. Julie already handled all the formalities, and you’ve done this before, so this should all be old hat, right?”

You nodded.

“Fantastic.” He handed you the cup and gestured to the bathroom. “I’ll leave, let you get situated, and I’ll be back in a couple minutes, yeah?”

“Sure.”

A few minutes later, you handed him back the cup, he took it and left the room, and you sat quietly on the examination bed, hands folded in your lap. The only noise you could hear was your heart pounding in your chest, slamming against your ribcage. You gave yourself a mental pep talk: “You’re not any less of a woman if you don’t have kids. Mat will still love you. If the team,” - that’s what you’d taken to calling the two of you, your marriage, the team - “wants to keep trying, we’ll talk about IVF and maybe try that. And anyways, there’s always adoption -”

Three knocks on the door. “Ms. Y/N?”

“Come on in,” you said.

Dr. Green entered, holding his signature clipboard in one hand. “Well, I know this was our fifth try, right?”

You nodded, feeling like someone had dropped a lead ball in your gut.

“Usually by now couples have gone to IVF, which, admittedly, is a tough process, and can be a lot of waiting. For some couples it doesn’t even work, which is a whole different heartbreak - oh, I’m sorry, I’m rambling.”

You looked at him expectantly, gave a weak smile. “No worries.”

He peered over his glasses at you. “Most couples go to IVF, but...I’d say you should be glad you kept trying.”

And just like that, you felt weightless. The lead ball in your stomach disappeared. You felt your heart nearly burst, oh my god, you were pregnant, you’re gonna have a baby, you and Mat are gonna have a child, a little kid, a baby - and then your brain reminded you, “He didn’t say you were having a baby.”

Shit.

“Dr. Green,” you said carefully, trying to suppress a grin. “Am I pregnant?”

The man grinned. “I’m happy to inform you, dear, you are pregnant.”

You burst into tears and laughter, a smile lighting up your features. You raised your hands and yelled to the doctor, “We’re having a baby!”

He chuckled. “You’re having a baby!”

You walked into the waiting room and grinned at Tito, who picked you up in a hug. “Congrats, Y/N! That’s great news!”

The drive home was full of excitement, you and Tito rambling over each other about how happy Mat was gonna be, how he was gonna freak out, you were gonna have to buy baby stuff, would Tito help baby-proof the house? Would he babysit? Was he okay with ‘Uncle Tito’ or did he want to just be ‘Tito’ instead? Planning, questioning, wondering, everything, every emotion was in the front of the car that day. Needless to say, you were ecstatic.

Mat, on the other hand, was dying. He wanted - no, he needed to know if he was having a baby. Was there gonna be a little Barzal around in nine months? Was he gonna be a dad? The suspense was killing him.

When he finally came home, he burst through the front door with no warning, dropping his bags on the ground. He didn’t even wait to take his shoes off, just headed right for the bedroom, where he thought you’d be - where you weren’t.

You were in the kitchen, watching your husband run at breakneck speed to the room. “In the kitchen, honey,” you called after him.

He peeked his head out of the doorway, saw you standing at the island, cutting tomatoes for a salad. Took a few tentative steps towards you, hesitant, not wanting to be too excited but so nervous, so ready, let this be the one, please - he looked at you with pleading eyes. “So?”

“So…? How was the trip?” You asked, not looking him in the eye. You knew if you did, you’d give it away instantly. You wanted to hold onto the apprehension for just a little longer.

“Who cares about how the trip went,” he groaned. “Are you…?”

“Am I what?”

“Y/N! Are you pregnant?” He asked, breathless. “Are we having a baby?”

You met his gaze slowly, a grin forming on your features. “Mat,” you said quietly. “You’re gonna be a dad.”

“I’m gonna be a dad?” His hands went straight to his hair, elbows up, eyes wide. “I’m gonna be a dad.”

You laughed, smiling big. “You’re gonna be a dad, honey!”

“Holy shit, we’re having a baby!” He yelled. “Y/N, we’re gonna be parents, we’re having a baby!” He laughed loudly, running and enveloping you in his arms. He planted a kiss on your  forehead, then your lips. “We’re having a baby!”

“We’re gonna be parents,” you giggled, cupping his jaw with one hand.

Those puppy-dog eyes looked into yours again, like he was trying to show you just how much he loved you with only his gaze. “I love you, honey, I love you.”

“I love you too, Maty.”

He exhaled hard, then grinned. “We’re gonna be the best parents.”

tagging my mat simps lol I love u guys.  @starkeybabie @heypope @fav-imagines @young-beezy @brock-mcginny @softstarkey @mtkachuk​

[cherryyharryy]

this request went above the character limit so basically the one with 🌸 is the continuation.. my request is basically an angst to fluff where y/n and harry are together the fans know it’s not confirmed but everyone knows they’re together and she’s been getting lots of hate recently and she’s frustrated and upset harry won’t defend her and she’s pestering him why in a fight and he says something along the lines of “ i don’t want people to know i’m with you” meaning he’s scared if he confirms...

don’t from the one ending in confirms .. he’s basically scared if he confirms y/n is his gf the hate will get worse but she takes it to mean he’s embarrassed by her and essentially gives him an ultimatum kinda ( idk a better word than that) of either he sticks up for her and tells them to stop hating on her or she’s breaking up with him bc she can’t be with someone who can’t bother defending her

*****

Thank you! I liked this idea, but I still feel like I suck at fluff lol. But I hope it’s okay

WC: 1.4K

*******

The starchy scent of cigarettes replaces the bite of pasta you slip into your mouth. You choke down the food and subtly cover your nose, although it does no good.

“Okay?” Harry squints across the table, the spring air catching on a few curls laced together across his forehead.

You nod, but roll your eyes, angling your head to the man sitting not far enough, with a coffee and ultra lights. His face is hidden by a newspaper when you turn to catch a look, smoke escaping from behind. “I can taste it.”

“Yeah that’s kinda rude.”

You wait a moment before speaking. “Yes. It is.”

When you look again, a plump, hairy arm extends across the table to dig the bud into a tea plate. You let your irritation slip away and continue eating, only to double up on your anger when you hear the flick of a lighter once again.

“I’m gonna ask him to stop.”

“Wait.” Harry catches your hand before you stand up. “We can just go inside.”

“What? No, we shouldn’t have to move because he’s being inconsiderate.”

“We’re outside, love, not much anyone can tell him.”

“I can tell him to stop being an ass.” You push away from the table, but Harry grabs your wrist. 

“Baby, please, just let it go. Don’t start a scene.”

“A scene?” You settle back into your chair. “Are you kidding?”

“What?”

You suck in a breath, regretfully, as it’s filled with smoke. “Do you have any idea how many times you’ve said something like that to me in the past month?”

“I just don’t want you to draw unwanted attention to yourself.” He shrugs and sips his coffee. The tips of his ears are red, he’s clearly uncomfortable, but you’re in no mood to let him off. “Don’t want you to have to deal with it.”

“Is that so?”

He nods, unsure if answering you is what you even want.

“I’ve had to deal with a lot of shit,” you lower your voice and lean over the table, “and no one even knows for sure that we’re dating.”

“Shhhh.” You see his brows dip down below his sunglasses, frowning behind the tinted frames. 

“Oh I’m sorry. Forgot how to act for a minute. Y’know, maybe you should write up a list of rules you want me to follow so I know how to behave.” 

You don’t wait for a reply, successfully leaving the table this time as you march off the patio and towards Harry’s car parked down the block. In an alley. Where the two of you waited until foot traffic died down before going to lunch thirty minutes ago. 

The door’s locked so you lean against it, shuffling your feet so you’re not in the sun, or in sight of any passersby. 

The car beeps before you see Harry round the corner. His head is down until you’re both inside, turning the air on and pulling out onto the street without a word. Until he can’t take it anymore.

“Listen, I know I make things harder, but it’s only for security.”

“Security of what exactly?”

“Us…”

“I’m not sure what security you’re referring to, because I’ve gotten more death threats in the past two weeks than I would have liked.” You roll your head to look at him, but he doesn’t take his eyes off the road. 

“Know that.” He grips the wheel and exhales through clenched teeth. “But it could be worse.”

“I doubt that.” You pull up instagram and scroll through some of the latest comments you’ve gotten, looking for one in particular. Clearing your throat, you recite the message. “I don’t know why you bother with him. It’s sad, how clingy you are and obviously using him. How does it feel to have a dollar sign as a boyfriend? Pathetic. Use that car he gave you to do something useful and run yourself over.”

“Baby, please stop—”

“No, Harry, you have no idea what kind of fucked up things are sent to me. And we haven’t even confirmed anything!”

“I do know! You think I haven’t gotten shitty messages? Like I haven’t been through all this before?”

“Then what’s the point! Why even bother hiding our relationship if none of this goes away? It really hurts when you don’t at least stick up for me when someone makes a snarky comment when we’re in public. Girlfriend or not, I’m a human being, and you just let everything slide so we don’t cause a damn scene.”

“I do too stick up for you!”

“No you don’t! You just suggest we leave. One time you walked away and left me in the middle of a store.”

“I just don’t want people to know we’re together!”

Silence.

Not another word, not another sound until the gate to Harry’s private property screeches open and he pulls up to his house. You’re out of the car before it’s even parked, storming inside with no plan other than to get away from him before you say something you’ll regret.

He calls after you, your name echoing through his huge house, as you make your way up a set of stairs and into a guest room. You slam the door and fling yourself onto the bed, finally letting the tears fall.

He knocks at the door but doesn't wait for your answer, barging in with one last cry of your name. He deflates upon seeing you, crumbles upon hearing your sobs. “Baby.” His hand settles between your shoulder blades as he leans down to brush your hair from your face. “I didn’t mean it like that. Not like it sounds.”

“What the hell could you have meant?” Your words are choppy and tight, catching in your throat before you force them out. “If you’re not gonna defend me, then I can’t have this. Us. I’m not gonna be with someone who cares more about protecting the feelings of complete strangers than his own girlfriend.”

“I do care about you—”

“Like hell you do. That’s why you buy me all kinds of stuff. Make me over so I’m presentable. If you’re that embarrassed to be with me, why would you even ask me out?” A sob takes over. Harry tries rubbing your back, but you shake him off. 

“What—embarrassed? The last thing I am is embarrassed. I’m proud to be with you. I love you, and I only buy you stuff because I can afford to do so.” You turn to face him, your vision blurred with tears. “Then why can’t you stick up for me? I’m not asking you to fight with everyone who leaves a negative comment, but something, Harry. I need someone who’s on my team.”

His voice stutters. Similar words he’s used before, referring to the two of you as a team, strike a nerve. He blinks away a few tears of his own. “You’re right. I’m so sorry, baby. I’m sorry I’ve been letting you down.”

You shuffle up on your knees, encouraging him to join you on the bed, and in a hug. “You’ve never let me down. We just haven’t been on the same page with all this.” You sigh, wiping away a few remaining tears. “I understand why you haven’t wanted to say anything, but I think we’re past the point of keeping us a secret.”

“Was tryin’ to hold onto that as long as I could.”

You both climb off the bed, and Harry takes your hand, pulling you into his chest. 

“We can have privacy without secrecy.”

He kisses your head. “May not be as private as you think.”

“I know…” You step back to look up at him, letting your hands slip down his arms to rest in his palms. ���But it’ll take a little pressure off.”

His brows raise in thought, and he drops your hand to pull his phone from his jacket. Without a word, he scrolls through his photos until he finds one he likes, holding it up for you to see. “My favorite.”

Next thing you know, he’s posting the picture of you two from a few weeks ago—when you’d gone out to dinner with Jeff and Glenne, all dressed up with less than sober smiles on your faces—to Instagram.

“It feels weird now,” you mumble.

“Don’t tell me you change your mind?” Harry chuckles.

“No, no—I’m happy. Proud to call you mine.”

“Never gonna let you feel like I don’t have your back,” he leans down to kiss your nose, “ever. Promise.” 

[yeongwvnhi]

》Troublemaker《

Superpowers AU, College AU, Poly AU

Taglist (send an ask if you want to be added): @twancingyunhoe @biaswreckingfics @donghanies @moonshineboyz @soleilsuhh @trashlord-007

Genre: crack, fluff, angst, suspension, suggestive

Rating: 16+

General Warnings: rituals, lots of fighting, language, injuries, weapons, detailed descriptions of fights and injuries, some mature themes, lots of kissing and teasing

Chapter Specific Warnings: teacher and headmaster being overly rude, cussing

Pairing: The Boyz x fem reader

Synopsis: in a world where superpowers are nothing special and everyone is gifted with some kind of special ability, you and your friends quickly grow tired of it and all the rules. So when one of your friends brings up a certain ritual, with which you can travel into another universe, it sounds like heaven, but you quickly realize it's harder to adapt than you'd like.

Word count: 2.7k

》Next《   》Masterlist《

It's fairly early when you leave your home for college, around 7am something. The air around you is still fairly crisp and cool, but you're not bothered. Others would be shaking if they went outside in just skinny jeans and a simple sweater when it's 0°C outside. 

But you? You're not bothered in the slightest as you calmly walk down the street and towards the giant building. 

It's metallic cover reflects the sunlight, slightly blinding you in the process. It makes you squint and avert your eyes. 

"Y/N!" 

Your head turns in the direction of the call and you see your best friend jogging towards you with a bright grin. "Oh, hey." 

"Good morning!" He beams, way too enthusiastic for your liking at this hour. 

A demonstrative yawn escapes you as you lazily wave at him. "Morn'..." You mumble and wipe the tears out of your eyes which gathered due to your yawn. 

"Aren't you gonna give your bestie a hug?" He pouts and his dimples make an appearance. "I'm disappointed." 

A chuckle escapes you before you turn towards him completely and give him his desired display of affection. 

A happy sigh escapes him as he tightly slings his arms around you. "I'm never letting you go, it's too cold!" He whines when you move to break the hug. 

"Wear warmer clothes then, you buffoon." You mumble, struggling to push him away and ultimately just giving up. 

"Nahh, why would I do that when I have my personal heater right under my nose?" He teases. 

"Shut up and let me go, we have classes soon." You whine and push at his chest again. 

He relents with a high pitched laugh as he watches you stumble back, his arms letting go easier than expected and making you lose your balance for a few seconds. 

"You fucker" You hiss while taking big, fast steps towards your destination. 

"My baby! Don't be mad!" Your friend whines while jogging to match your pace. 

"It's not even 8 yet and the two of you are already having a quarrel." A new voice joins the two of you. 

Startled by the sudden intervention, you whip your head to pinpoint the source and find another guy of your friend group. 

"Sangyeon? Where did you come from?" You ask, eyes moving up to meet his.

"You must have forgotten that I always meet you at this section in the road, tsk." The older one answers and shakes his head. 

"Sorryyyy" You say with a chuckle, "but Changmin here decided to be an ass first thing in the morning! It's his fault" 

"HUH??" The culprit screeches in surprise, "Excuse me??" 

"Be quiet you two, I don't need a headache right before classes." 

"Sorryy" Changmin and you chime in unison, "dad." the former adds and snickers, earning himself a glare from Sangyeon. 

The three of you continue on the rest of the way in silence and you couldn't be more grateful. Your mind is not yet in the right place for any intellectual conversation. 

The enormous college building towers in front of you all as you reach the campus. 

"Ohh look, the others are already here!" Changmin happily points out, proceeding to skip towards said friend group. 

Sangyeon and you exchange an amused glance before also walking towards them. 

"Morning everyone." You wave at the guys and they all greet you back. 

"Y/N my love!" Your other best friend exclaims and jumps to hug you, "I'm so glad you're finally here! Please warm me up, I'm freezing!" 

The other guys laugh at their youngest friend's antics, you included. Nonetheless you proceed to hug him around his middle and make use of your powers. Your skin immediately heats up to a nice and cozy temperature and the guy hums in relief. 

"You're such a baby." You chuckle and pat his broad back affectionately.

"Classes start in about 10 minutes, we can go inside now." 

"Oh, look who decided to show up." Sangyeon teases. 

"What? Why would I show up half an hour before classes?" Said newcomer replies. "I can take all the time I need, unlike you guys~" 

"Stop being arrogant, Hyun." The oldest playfully scolds. 

"Now now, don't fight." Jacob intervenes, voice clearly expressing his worry. 

"Hold on, what class do we have now?" You suddenly realize and look up to meet Sunwoo's eyes. 

"Uhh I'm pretty sure it's chem." He replies, now looking at Younghoon for confirmation. 

"Yeah" he nods. "We should go, it's all the way on the top floor of the building." 

Sunwoo and you groan in unison, totally not thrilled on having to walk up 10 flights of stairs. 

"I actually also have chemistry, but in another course." Jaehyun says, "It's on the same floor though." 

The three of you guys look at your friend with hope. 

"Urgh, fiiine." He groans, already knowing exactly what you were all going to ask of him. 

"Yay!" You beam happily and peel yourself away from Youngjae. "Sorry hun but you gotta get inside quickly to stay warm I guess." 

He grumbles something inaudible and you immediately attach yourself to Jaehyun's arm instead and give him a smile. "You're the best, Hyunnie!" 

He can't help the amused smile to crawl onto his lips. "I know." 

You hear Sunwoo make a gagging sound, prompting you to laugh. "Let's go now." 

"Sure, sure." Jaehyun hums and within a second the four of you are up on the top floor. 

"Thank you~" You happily chime and stand on your tiptoes to press a quick kiss to the man's cheek. Then you turn around, link arms with Sunwoo and Younghoon and drag them into your chemistry classroom with a content smile on your face. 

Both men exchange a glance at that interaction and internally behead Jaehyun for having his useful ability. 

When Sunwoo turns his head to look at the older guy, Jaehyun shows him a priggish smirk and waves before disappearing. 

"He really-" 

"Good morning you three!" Your teacher greets and Sunwoo immediately stiffens, startled by the voice. "Class starts in 5 minutes, find your seats!" 

"Yes ma'am!" The three of you reply and give a quick bow before scurrying to your seats. 

"Miss Im is so scary…" Younghoon shudders and you nod. 

—

Your teacher had given the class an experiment to work on in groups of three. Funnily enough, a student had broken one of the school's bunsen burners, so now your group was without one. 

"Great, just great" Miss Im angrily says under her breath. 

"Miss" You say and raise your hand. She looks at you and nods. "I can use my power instead for fire-" 

"Under no circumstance will you do that!" She immediately shoots down your idea and raises her voice. "What if you set fire to something in here? You could hurt us!" 

You don't know what to say, feeling at a loss for words at her sudden outburst. Sunwoo and Younghoon notice your shaking hands and glare at the teacher. 

"Did you really have to lash out at her like that? She just suggested it!" Sunwoo angrily replies and stands up from his chair, smacking the table. "We all here have been living with our powers ever since we were 5! We have them under control! Y/N would never hurt someone on purpose!" 

Younghoon had hugged you close to calm your anxiety down while everyone just watched and listened to Sunwoo's outburst. 

Then it was quiet for a moment, Miss Im too stunned to say anything back and the rest of the class only agreed with him. 

Sunwoo was quite literally charged, you could see little lightning bolts dancing all over him. 

"Sunwoo…" You quietly say and he looks at you. "It's okay." 

He takes a deep breath and shoots the teacher another sharp glare. 

She clicks her tongue angrily and just ignores this incident, instead opting to not grade your group on this one. 

—

After class ends the three of you quickly make your way downstairs and onto the campus to meet the others. Sunwoo was stubbornly clinging onto your arm with an annoyed pout on his face. 

"Hey Sunwoo." you speak up and nudge him so he looks at you. "Thank you for interfering." 

He gives you a tight-lipped smile and says "No big deal."

"Thank you too Hoonie." you turn to the older guy and give him an affectionate smile which he returns shyly. 

"Oh look, the troublemakers are coming." Someone teases when the three of you proceed on your way towards your friend group. 

You turn to glare at the person, your red eyes flaring dangerously and they immediately look away, visibly flustered. 

"Hey hey, we already heard you guys got in trouble." Jacob says first when you are within hearing range. "What happened? Are you okay?" 

"Don't worry, we're fine." You answer and wave him off, but the way he eyes Sunwoo tells you that's not what he wanted to hear. 

"Miss Im went off on Y/N after she offered to use her powers for the experiment because a burner was missing." Younghoon explains and you feel Sunwoo tighten his group on your arm even further. "A- Sunwoo what's gotten into you?" You exclaim to him and prod at his arm to give you some room. 

"I'm sorry Noona, I'm just still mad at Miss Im." He mumbles and hides his face on your shoulder. 

"Stop being a baby." Juyeon speaks up and pries the younger one from you… well he tries. "Argh, let go already! Chanhee, come help me out!" 

"Wha- Hyung what am I supposed to do??" The younger one replies incredulously. 

"Just help me get this walking taser off of Y/N!" 

You snort at that exclamation and Sunwoo gives Juyeon a pointed look. "Did you really just call me a walking taser?!" 

"So what if I did?" 

"Unbelievable." Chanhee shakes his head, but an amused smile plays at his lips nonetheless. 

Your eyes basically scream 'help me!!' As you look at Youngjae, the youngest out of you all gives you a laugh before nodding. And suddenly Sunwoo's grip on you loosens and you quickly peel yourself away and hide behind the culprit. "Thanks Jae." you snicker against his arm as you peek out to look at a confused Sunwoo. 

"Yah!" He literally screams, making all of you flinch besides Changmin. "Youngjae I swear-" 

"Enough now, kids!" Sangyeon finally steps in and silences Sunwoo quickly. He pouts and crosses his arms in front of his chest. 

You move from behind Youngjae to stand to his left, now in between him and Changmin. 

"Ohh guys!" The latter suddenly speaks up with sparkly eyes and everyone looks at him. "How about we have a sleepover at my house this weekend? We're free next week so we can have some fun together!" 

Everyone quickly makes eye contact with the others. "Sure!" Haknyeon nods and adjusts his choker. "I'm itching to take this thing off, it's really weird to be as close to normal as it can get here." 

You all laugh at that, remembering how he has to wear it due to his powers. His hyperawareness is a very useful power, but also hard to live with, since he gets easily overwhelmed in crowded places. He had someone in his family create that ability dimmer for him so he could live without being constantly overwhelmed. 

"You over there!" 

All of you turn to see who called, finding it to be your headmaster. "Kim Sunwoo and L/N Y/N, come over here." 

You give Youngjae a panicked look and he shoots you one right back. That can't be good. 

The two of you slowly walk towards the man, stopping about a meter in front of him. "Do you know why I came to speak with you?" 

"No, sir." You shake your head, not daring to look into his eyes. Out of the corner of your eyes you see Sunwoo trembling slightly. 

"Well, I came here because Miss Im told me about what happened during her chemistry lesson. Shall I remind you, Miss L/N, that it is strictly prohibited to use your powers on campus grounds, unless they're unable to be deactivated?" 

"N-No, I know that, sir." You reply quietly. "But we were missing a burner, so I thought-" 

"You thought what? That it would be a good idea to use your powers instead and to risk hurting your classmates? Hm?" 

"I'm so-sorry. It won't happen again, sir" 

"And now on to you, Mister Kim." The headmaster turns to Sunwoo instead and you try to calm your racing heart and keep your anxious tears at bay. "You're really cocky for a 2nd year, just raising your voice at a teacher like that AND using your powers in a classroom." 

"Miss Im has started it." Sunwoo replies through gritted teeth, "She could've calmly explained it, but instead she decided to humiliate Y/N Noona in front of the whole class! Was I just supposed to watch?!" 

"Sunwoo-" You hiss, scared for him. 

"Excuse me?" 

"You heard me right, sir." 

"Don't make me call your parents." The much older man threatens. 

"Oh, go ahead then." Sunwoo replies, "I don't care." 

"Sunwoo!" You say with big eyes. "Stop it!" 

"You should listen to your little friend, Mister Kim." The headmaster sneers, "I'll let you off the hook since you never did anything before. You better behave." he clicks his tongue and leaves. 

You grab Sunwoo by the collar and pull him to match your height. "Are you out of your mind?!" 

"Hey hey…" Jacob quickly makes an appearance and gently touches your shoulders with nothing but worry all over his face. "Please calm down Y/N." 

"You idiot, he could have expelled you or something! Don't do stuff like that!" You practically beg him with teary eyes. 

The younger one's eyes soften. "I'm sorry Noona, I won't do it again, but please don't cry." 

Jacob takes a step back and just watches, mostly relieved that you weren't angry and that he wouldn't have to break up a fight. 

"Give me a hug you idiot…" You grumble and wipe your eyes. Sunwoo gives a panicked wheeze, locking eyes with Changmin and Youngjae. They both just wave him off. 

"Okay okay, don't cry." He says and gives in, pulling you close and patting your back. 

The others watch from a bit away, soft smiles on their faces, almost forgetting why you two are in that situation in the first place. 

But then the bell rang, snapping you all out of your thoughts. 

Changmin drags you by your wrist, Chanhee on your other side as they lead the way to your next class. 

"Are you feeling better now, Y/N?" Chanhee softly asks from your left side and you turn to look at him. 

"I feel okay now, thank you for worrying." You reply and flash the taller man a quick smile. 

Changmin intertwined his fingers with yours. It's nothing new, the two of you used to do that ever since you became friends. 

"Chanhee Hyung, where is the literature classroom again?" 

The oldest of you three thinks for a moment and looks at the numbers next to the doors. "It's room 371." 

"Ahh thank you~" Changmin happily replies and you guys make your way into the room. 

—

Chanhee stretches his long limbs after the bell chimed, indicating the end of the class. "Today's lesson was pretty intense, don't you guys think?" 

"Yeah, there was a lot." Changmin frowns a little. "Y/N how were you holding up?" 

Your head shoots up in surprise, caught off guard while packing your stuff. "Uh- It was alright. I understood most of it actually." 

Both men give you weird looks. "You never understand stuff in literature, what happened?" Changmin says with furrowed brows. 

"I think it's because she actually paid attention this time." Chanhee adds with a chuckle, "She looked so concentrated, it was cute." 

You feel your body heating up and avert your eyes. "Whatever, let's go." 

The two men exchange amused glances but don't speak on it any further, opting to just follow you out of the building. 

You didn't expect to run into this particular person when you exited through the large glass doors. 

After all, he got expelled for using his powers on campus and a few other things. 

"Hyunjun?" 

[latte-fairytaekwoon]

𝑀𝑦 𝐺𝑖𝑟𝑙 𝑃𝑡.3 (𝑃𝑎𝑟𝑘 𝑆𝑒𝑜𝑛𝑔ℎ𝑤𝑎)

<Part One> <Part Two><Part Four<

Pairing: Badboy! Park Seonghwa (Ateez)/ Reader (Female)

Genre: Fluff, Angst, College AU.

Summary: Spending more time with Seonghwa, Y/N gets to know more about him and realizes he's not just playing with her, he truly does like her. But the question now is how does she feel about him?

Warnings: Mentions of smoking and drinking, if you're sensitive to such topics, read at your own discretion.

•••────────•••────────•••

"You can lift up your face now doll, we're here."

Y/N slightly opened one eye, then the other. Indeed they were right in front of her apartment complex.

"I'm not dead?"

Seonghwa burst out laughing even though it was a slight jab to him.

"No. I'm not reckless so as to crash myself or this baby onto anything."

Y/N nodded and let out a silent 'Oh'. So much for trusting him though.

"So is the kitten going to finally retract her claws and release this tight grip on me, or does she want me to carry her all the way inside?" Seonghwa teased, poking one of her arms, which were currently wrapped around his waist like her life depended on it.

Well in a way one could say it did.

"Huh?" Y/N looked at her arm placement and let go. "Oh sorry!"

She got off the motorcycle and began to fumble to take the helmet off.

Seonghwa let out a tiny pfft.

"I was seriously hoping you'd choose the second option."

Y/N nearly dropped the helmet when he said that. She cleared her throat and handed it back to him.

"Anyway....thanks for the food, and your company..." She began.

"So essentially, you're thanking me for our little date?" He wiggled his eyebrows at her.

"It's not- wasn't- Oh!" She cried out and stomped her foot, turning on her heel and speed walking to her door.

"Wait! Y/N! Come back!"

Seonghwa called out to her, but she ignored him. She did not want him to see how flustered he got her to be. She was about to reach into her bag to get her keys, when it dawned on her: she left her bag in Seonghwa's motorcycle. She turned her head back to him, and of course, he was holding up her bag, with a look on his face that said 'I told you so.'

She sighed and took one step to go back, but Seonghwa signaled her not to.

"I'll bring it to you."

Seonghwa got off the motorcycle and walked up to her. He held out her bag to her, but before she could get it back, he suddenly got an idea and held it over his head.

"Hey! What was that for?" Y/N exclaimed as she jumped, trying to snatch her bag back.

"You haven't properly thanked me for taking you out on a date. Once you do, you can have this back." He smirked.

"Park Seonghwa! You're unbelievable!"

He merely shrugged at her comment.

"Your choice dollface. Either thank me and tell me you enjoyed it, or stay out here in the cold."

Y/N huffed and crossed her arms. She couldn't believe she was actually going to fall victim to his blackmail.

"Thanks for the date.....I..... actually had a nice time." She finally said, her voice barely whispering but Seonghwa was willing to take it.

He finally gave her the bag back and watched her fumble around to find her keys.

He snorted. "You girls should really have better organization in your purses."

Y/N lifted her eyes at him and glared at him, making Seonghwa step back with his arms up.

"Whoah, ok. Calm down kitten. Don't attack and get scratch marks on me...."

He paused then continued.

"Unless it's my back. Then I don't mind." He bit his bottom lip as he stared her up and down.

Y/N blushed intensely and stammered to try to tell him something, but couldn't.

"What? Kitten got caught her own tongue?" He snickered.

Y/N pouted, furrowing her eyebrows as her arms crossed in front of her chest.

"Aww come on doll. You know I'm just kidding. It's just cute to see you get all hissy or to see you get that pink tint on your cheeks."

Seonghwa's hands went to to her upper arms, his thumbs lightly rubbing her shoulders. He looked at her face for a while, just admiring the way the moon light shone on her features. Then he remembered he shouldn't keep her up so late.

"So....will I see you tomorrow?" He asked after a few minutes of silence passed.

"Huh? Oh the party...... I don't know. I'll feel out of place. I wouldn't know anyone there." She replied.

"You know me and I guess if you want to count them too, you know Wooyoung's loud ass and Yeosang's insipid ass." Seonghwa reminded her, causing her to giggle slightly.

"Seriously, smile like that more often. You look even more beautiful."

She immediately stopped giggling when he said that and was at an even greater loss for words when he leaned in and kissed her forehead.

"See you tomorrow babe. No ifs, ands or buts." He winked at her before racing back to his motorcycle.

Y/N just stood there, watching as he got back on the motorcycle, started it up and waved goodbye to her before speeding away out of sight. She stayed there for a few moments before a light breeze reminded her it was cold and unless she wanted to wake up with a stuffy nose, she'd better go inside and get some sleep if she wanted to make it to the party tomorrow.

And if she wanted to see Seonghwa again.

•••────────•••────────•••

Y/N took one last look at herself in the mirror. She didn't think she looked bad. But for some reason she wanted to look extra good. She looked at the time:

9:22 p.m

Seonghwa said he'd pick her up at 9:30, so she had no time to change into something different. Or could she?

She began looking through all the scattered articles of clothing she pulled from her closet, taking a double look at certain blouses and thinking if she should just change as fast as she possibly could.

Honk. Honk.

"Crap." She muttered as she stood up and ran to the door, nearly slipping on a pile of clothes.

Grabbing her bag and phone, she sped out her door and slammed it, making sure she locked it though. She wasn't going to risk someone breaking in.

"Hey! Y/N!"

She turned around and saw a familiar purple haired boy waving his arm at her, half his body coming out from the window of the car. She waved back awkwardly and walked slowly to the car, wondering why Seonghwa didn't tell her Wooyoung would be there.

Wooyoung got back inside the vehicle and opened the door to her.

"You're riding in the back with me. Isn't it fun!?" He exclaimed enthusiastically.

"If you want to throw him out the window, I wouldn't blame you." Yeosang's voice said from the passenger's seat.

Y/N got inside and was expecting to see Seonghwa behind the wheel, but instead she saw a red haired man she'd never seen before. He turned to her and held out his hand.

"Hi. I'm Jongho. Seonghwa couldn't come himself so he sent me and Yeosang to pick you up." He introduced himself as Y/N took his hand and shook it.

"That idiot wasn't part of the plan, but before we knew it he was already inside the car before we could run him over." Yeosang explanation, pointing to Wooyoung.

Wooyoung sat up and smacked Yeosang on the arm, causing Y/N and Jongho to laugh slightly.

"Ok seatbelts on everyone? Let's go."

Shifting into reverse, Jongho smoothly pulled out of the curbside and then drove south towards their destination. All throughout the ride, no one said a word: Y/N because she was too shy, Yeosang because he didn't talk, and Jongho because he was concentrating on the road.

Wooyoung however, was dying from how gloomy and silent they were. He opened his mouth to say something, but Yeosang beat him to it:

"If you dare ask or say anything remotely vacuous, I will make Jongho pull over and drop your ass in the nearest dumpster." He warned, causing Wooyoung to shut his mouth and pout.

"Why must you be mean to me?" Wooyoung complained.

"Relax Hyung. You know Yeosang is just playing with you." Jongho assured him.

"Wait. Hyung?" Y/N couldn't help but blurt out when he mentioned the honorific.

"Yeah. Jongho is the baby of our friend group. 00' liner." Wooyoung sat up and poked Jongho's cheek.

Jongho simply rolled his eyes, not a stranger to the older men's antics of reminding him he was younger.

"Seriously? I thought you were older!"

She didn't mean for it to come out that way, but soon Wooyoung and Yeosang were laughing.

"I get that a lot, don't worry." Jongho shrugged, not at all bothered by the fact she'd think that.

"So if you're the youngest, who's the oldest?" Y/N asked.

"It's actually none other than your boyfriend." Wooyoung responded, giving her a side glance to see her reaction.

She straightened up.

"He-he's not my boyfriend....." She corrected him.

All the boys kept quiet but a smirk was plastered on all of their faces. Jongho looked over at Yeosang and that's all it took for them to burst out laughing. Y/N just looked at them in confusion. They certainly were an odd bunch.

"Aren't you going to ask what we're laughing about?" Wooyoung asked as he leaned his face close to hers.

"I think..... I'd rather not." Y/N answered, scooching away from him.

"Good choice. And Wooyoung, I may not throw you out the window, but I was instructed to make sure you behaved so..... keep at least an arm's length away from Y/N. Or I'll tell Seonghwa." Jongho warned.

Wooyoung groaned in annoyance and scooted away while mumbling:

"I wasn't going to do anything, geez this boomer being all possessive."

Y/N heard him clearly, but she pretended not to and decided just to enjoy the ride and calm her nerves which were getting more and more out of control the closer they got to the house.

•••────────•••────────•••

Y/N looked around the place. It was already packed with people, some dancing erratically in the living room, while others were just chatting away, cups of beer in their hands. She had never been anywhere near the fraternity or sorority houses, but damn was this one huge. She was glad Wooyoung insisted on holding her hand so she wouldn't get lost.

"Hey! There's Hyung!"

Without warning, he yanked her in the direction of the kitchen, where Seonghwa was in the middle of a conversation with a slightly shorter grayish green hair man. Seonghwa immediately straightened up when he saw Y/N, completely ignoring what his friend was saying.

"Hey." He was the first to talk.

"Hi." She responded shyly.

They both stared at each other, the other two boys looking back and forth between them in confusion and annoyance. Wooyoung and the other male looked at each other and tried so hard to hold back from laughing at Seonghwa's awestruck expression.

Seonghwa looked down at the attire Y/N was wearing when his eyes caught something unpleasant: Wooyoung was still holding onto her hand. He looked back at the younger male who just raised an eyebrow at him.

Seonghwa merely pointed to their adjoined hands and ordered: "Off."

Wooyoung snorted and let go of Y/N.

"You're right Wooyoung. He's got it bad." The other male snickered before nodding in Y/N's direction.

"Choi San. Pleasure to finally meet the girl that makes this old man loose brain cells." He teased Seonghwa, who merely stared at him with a warning look.

"Hi." She returned the greeting.

"Ok enough chit chat. I came here to get wasted and make out with my one of my boy toys. So if you excuse me."Wooyoung took a hold of San's wrist and pulled him out to the crowd gathered at the drink station.

Seonghwa shook his head and sighed. "And then they'll be complaining in the morning and I'll be the one taking care of them."

"So are Wooyoung and San..." Y/N gestured with her hands.

"Hmm? Oh! Honestly...... I don't know. Between San and Yeosang, no one really knows who's the official item of Wooyoung's affection." He answered.

If Y/N had been drinking something, she would have seriously choked on it.

"Yeosang?" She asked incredulous.

"Yeah. It's complicated." Seonghwa rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly.

Y/N giggled. "But if you think about it, it's a cute match."

Seonghwa whipped his head to look at her.

"Seriously?"

Y/N nodded.

"You know what they say, opposites attract. Maybe someone as loud and eccentric as Wooyoung needs someone more quiet and level headed like Yeosang."

"Ok but, don't let San hear you say that. He might just cry." Seonghwa said.

Another awkward moment of silence fell over them. It seemed to happen quiet often. Seonghwa stepped over to the door beside the kitchen and opened it.

"I'm going out for a smoke." He simply told her.

Y/N debated whether or not to join him outside. Sure she didn't smoke but she'd rather not be standing alone like a total idiot. Then a voice popped up behind her.

"Go after him."

She jumped up and turned around to see Yeosang standing there with a cup in his hand.

"Jesus Yeosang, don't creep up on people like that." She clutched her chest, trying to calm down from the fright he just gave her.

"Sorry. Force of habit. But seriously, go keep him company."

Yeosang looked towards the crowd and squinted his eyes when he caught sight of San getting too close to Wooyoung for his liking.

"Meanwhile, I have to go make sure some idiot doesn't break something." He lied.

Y/N watched him walk over to where Wooyoung and San were dancing. She chuckled as she watched Yeosang pull Wooyoung onto him, wanting his attention, a clear pout on his lips. Then San tried to squeeze himself in between, almost shoving Yeosang away, while Wooyoung tried to calm them down.

"All is fair in love and war." She quoted before going outside to search for Seonghwa.

She looked around before a strong scent filled her nostrils. Finally spotting him, she quietly walked over to him, propping and sitting herself up on the railing he was leaning against.

"I thought you'd rather stay inside." He said as he blew out a smoke from his mouth.

She shrugged. "Wild parties and alcohol have never really been my thing."

Seonghwa hummed and held out his nicotine stick out to her, which she promptly refused. She was not planning on contracting cancer anytime soon.

Seonghwa chuckled.

"You're right. Maybe opposites do attract."

"What do you mean?" She tilted her head to him.

Seonghwa took a final puff of his cigarette before throwing it on the floor and stepping on it.

"I mean here I am, the famous bad boy of the school, trying to court the perfect goody two shoes student." He explained.

Hey!" Y/N shoved his arm lightly. "I'm not a goody two shoes!"

"Oh? Then what are you exactly Y/N? Who are you?" He mused more to himself than actually asking her a question.

She opened her mouth but then shut it back up when she didn't know how to respond. It was a question she had the answer to but no one had ever asked her before and now she didn't know how to explain. If she even wanted to explain.

She began swinging her legs in the air as she pondered over what to say.

"I guess..... I'm just....normal?"

Seonghwa snorted.

"Y/N trust me. You're not normal. A normal college student would either be getting their face shit wasted at a party like this, hook up with their classmates or teachers, and overall make stupid decisions they'll regret when they're older, but right now they don't give a damn cause they're young and feel invincible."

Y/N looked over at him.

"Is that how you feel?" She teased.

"We're talking about you, not me. You already know me. But what about you? What's so special about you?" He continued to pry.

"No- nothing. Absolutely nothing." She replied.

"Really? Nothing?" He scooted closer to her, trying to read her facial expressions.

"I guess I'm just a boring college student. Only trying to get through school and finish with as high grades as she can so she can land a decent job and live a normal life with 50 plus cats in the future." She let out a chortle at the last part.

"Cats are cute. But is that what you actually want?"

Y/N's smile gave her away immediately.

"No. I actually want..."

She stopped herself before she said too much. She was embarrased to say this to anyone, let alone Seonghwa.

"You can trust me. I won't judge you." He encouraged her.

Taking a deep breath she confessed:

"I actually want to be an editor......"

She looked up at him to see his expression.

"An editor?" He was genuinely interested in why she was passionate about it.

"Yeah. I major in English and world literature. I mean, I do now after I switched from finance." She explained.

"Not very good without a calculator?" He jokingly said.

"I thought you said you wouldn't judge." She reminded him.

"Sorry sorry. It just comes naturally." He apologized.

She continued.

"I mostly took it cause my parents wanted me to land a job in some bank or something. But I don't want that. My plan is to graduate with a bachelor's degree and start a job at as an intern at a book publishing company, and eventually work my way up. Simple as that."

Seonghwa blinked at her explanation, making her think she did sound boring.

"Are you judging me now?" She questioned him.

"No, on the contrary, I'm proud of you, really. You got your goals set and it's obvious you're working hard to achieve them. How many of those people in there know what they're going to do after college?"

He looked up at the sky and sighed blissfully.

"And you say you're just ordinary yet here you are being the most extraordinary person I've met."

Y/N looked down at the ground and smiled brightly to herself. It felt good to hear Seonghwa say he was proud of her. That's all she ever wanted to hear, but hearing it from someone like him, so sincere and honest, made it ten times better.

"So in theory, you want to be an Anastasia Steele?" He joked with her.

Feeling a little bold, she winked at him and answered:

"Only if you'll be my Christian Grey."

Seonghwa's eyes went huge as he snapped his head to look at her, trying to process what she said and if she really did say it. She swore she also saw a light hint of a blush on his cheeks and that made her burst out giggling.

"What? I can flirt a little too you know."

Turning his body, Seonghwa stood in front of her, both hands grabbing the railing on opposite sides of her body and therefore trapping her.

"Don't test me kitten because I won't hesitate to bend you over my lap and spank you." He warned.

Seonghwa smirked when he noticed her swallow harshly. His eyes scanned her every feature: eyes, nose, and then her lips. They looked so plump and soft and he just really wanted to feel them. He bit down on his lip as his thumb grazed over her bottom lip. Y/N held her breath when she noticed him leaning in closer. She closed her eyes and waited to see what happened.....

•••────────•••────────•••

[filthficdump]

Good Thing This Job Has Benefits.

AN: I wrote this in one day, I’ve developed a hyperfixation on The Walten Files, so you get to enjoy this absolute mess I’ve made.

You can also read it here on AO3. There’s no romance, it’s a gender neutral, nameless reader fict. There’s no death, because I am NOT about to write angst about a happy family :(

When I had you to myself, I didn't want you around. Those pretty faces always made you stand out in a crowd.

The gravel under my tires crunched as I drove through the night, bopping and tapping the steering wheel to the beat of the song, singing along. It was late, most likely near or after nine PM, but I wasn’t about to take my eyes off the road to check. That’s just asking for trouble.

But someone picked you from the bunch, one glance was all it took. Now it's much too late for me to take a second look.

New job, it’s been going great! I wouldn’t have thought I’d get to use my programming degree so soon, but I’m so happy I got this job. Sure, it’s for a kid’s burger joint, but there’s animatronics and other stuff, plus that finance minor rocketed me straight to an assistant manager position!

Oh, baby, give me one more chance, to show you that I love you. Won't you please let me, Back in your heart.

In the distance I could see a pair of headlights and slowed my car a bit and moved a bit to the side to provide them more room. These roads were narrow and I really didn’t think I wanted to get into a car crash and have to deal with that with what’s left of my savings and likely my first check.

Oh, darlin', I was blind to let you go (Let you go, baby) But now since I see you in his arms (I want you back)

The thought ‘That car looks like it’s moving really fast- too fast’ is the last thought in my head as the car got close, too close to stop the car or move away, there’s a ditch and trees on my side of the road. My hand hit the horn hard, blaring, but they served and-

CRASH!!!

Yes, I do now, I want you back. Ooh, ooh, baby, I want you back.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I want you back. Na, na, na, na.

When I come back to, I’m upside down, held up by my seat belt. Ho-ly-shit. I got into a fucking car crash.

Oh shit! I got into a car crash- The other car! I struggle to turn to look out the window and I see the other car against the guard rail. It’s hard to get a good look at the other car, seeing how I’m upside down and in the goddamn ditch, but I need to get out of the car.

I instinctually went for the pocket at the door, looking for my seatbelt cutter, but it had fallen out. Thanks, gravity. Thankfully, it’s on the roof of the car and I grabbed it before grabbing the handle of the door, pushing it open before I pressed my free arm against the roof of the car and-

“ FUCK! ” I yell, feeling the pain shooting up my arm and shoulder. Holy fuck, why did it hurt so bad?! We’re in the middle of the woods and I can’t remember the last home I passed and my car is upside down.

Either someone comes or I’ve got a long walk. I grit my teeth and cut the seat belt, falling head first into the ceiling and then out the door, tumbling until my butt hit grass. I flung the seatbelt cutter to the side and struggled up, using my door as support before I had to climb up the slippery slope of the ditch and onto the road.

My more useful arm held the other to my chest as I limped. Just about everything hurts. My chest, my shoulder, my leg, my face. Why did this have to happen? I was having such a good night, and now I’m in a wreck and about to give this jackass a piece of my mind. If he’s not dead.

I got closer to the car and looked inside. The man was unconscious, leaning against the steering wheel. I looked to the back instinctually, not expecting to see two terrified children! Oh god, wait- No, they’re alive. They’re looking at me.

I pulled open the driver door, still looking back at the kids, “Uh… Hey. Are you kids okay?” I asked, leaning down to look at them better. A boy and a girl, clearly siblings. They were sniffling and crying, but nodded, “Is this your dad?” I asked, pointing at the unconscious man. The car reeks of booze.

“N-No…” The boy sniffled, “He’s our uncle!”

“Okay, okay… Well, I’m gonna get us to help.” I said and went over to the passenger side, opening it up. The paint was scratched and the panels dented, but the car was still running. It would be shorter to keep going the way I came from, the city and a hospital is that way.

I reached over and wrapped my arm around the unconscious man’s chest, dragging him over into the passenger seat where there were beer bottles on the floor. Not even a seatbelt? He’s lucky he didn’t die.

I buckled him in and shut the door, walking back around to the driver’s seat before getting in and shutting the door. I tested my foot on the gas and hand on the wheel, my other arm resting in my lap.

Thank god the car still worked! I just started driving, the car feeling quite literally fucked as it went over the road, but it’s a working car!

It was perhaps ten or fifteen minutes down the road, “Um… So, what’s your guys’ names?” I asked, looking back at them through the crooked rear view mirror. They must have been so terrified. They were just in a car crash, and now their jackass drunk uncle was unconscious and a stranger was in the car with them.

“I’m Edd… She’s Molly…” Edd said, his sister was holding a grey bunny toy. Looked like one of those prize stuffed animals we keep at Bon’s Burgers prize counter, but it wasn’t blue or purple, and the restaurant hasn’t been opened yet.

I introduced myself and really focused on the road, “That’s a really cool bunny. It’s like the ones we have at my work.” I said, smiling, “Ever heard of Bon’s Burgers?”

The girl looked confused, “Y-Yes? Our dad works there.” She said. Oh no, were they my co-worker’s kids? Which co-worker?

“O-Oh? What’s your dad’s name?” I asked, glancing over at the man in the passenger seat. I couldn’t see him very well in the dark car, but I could hear his deep breathing and slight snoring.

“His name is Jack Walten. Our mom is Rosie!” Edd said, and for a moment I thought I was going to get into another accident. Jack… Walten…?

My boss's kids?!

“Ha-Ha, oh wow… Small work. I started working there. Today was my first day, actually…” I said, muttering a few swears under my breath, “I met Jack! Um… Do either of you know his phone number…? We’re gonna need it when we get to the hospital.”

The boy nods and I sighed- Wait, if these are Jack’s kids, then the man...

Another glance. We’re getting to the part of the road with street lights. I recognize those glasses. This was my other boss, wasn’t it? Please don’t say it is, I just crashed into my bosses’ car. Wait, no, he crashed into me! This wasn’t my fault!

The bastard is too drunk and irresponsible. He could have killed himself, the two kids, or even myself! For god sakes my car is in a ditch!

“Let’s just… Listen to some music, okay?” I offered and put on the radio, driving with my knee for the moment since my injured arm was starting to go numb. It better not be broken, I swear to god.

Once we got into the city I went straight to the hospital, parking in the emergency parking lot. “Okay, can you guys walk?” I asked, unbuckling my belt to look at both of them. They opened their doors and the girl winced.

“My ankle hurts!” She cried. Edd thankfully didn’t seem too injured, but he had a burn from the seat belt.

“Okay, okay. Hold on, I’ll carry you.” I said and got out. My leg felt like it was covered with biting fire ants, but I wasn’t about to leave her alone for them to just get a wheelchair.

I bent down and she reached up, one hand clutching the stuffed bunny as she wrapped her arm around my neck and I held her up on my hip, my only good arm holding her up, “Okay, okay, okay.” I mumbled softly and the boy was by my side, “Okay, grab my hand.” I said, offering my injured hand. I didn’t care that it hurt, I knew he was putting on a brave face.

He took my hand and I walked them both in. The tired nurse at the desk looked up at us and looked terrified before she quickly called for help, “We have another in the car. The black one out front.” I said, “We were just in a car crash.”

“Oh my god!” She said as more nurses came, one that had a gurney and I put the girl up on top and the boy got to sit in a wheelchair, “Are you their mother?” The nurse asked as one of the other nurses tried to sit me down in a wheelchair as well.

“No… I’m the one their uncle crashed into.” I said and reluctantly sat down. I didn’t realize how fast my heart was beating, it must explain all of the wandering thoughts that clouded my mind.

I was brought to the same room that they were, but curtains separated me from them. Doctors and nurses came shortly and my vision grew quite spotty. Information was exchanged, my nearest relative was an hour away and it was late, so it’s a toss up if they got the call.

One of the children gave a nurse the phone number to their home, and already my head was coming up with the worst thoughts of what would happen. Will I be fired? Is he going to sue me? I’m probably just as guilty as Felix in his eyes.

Speaking of Felix, if Jack doesn’t fire me he will! If he doesn’t get arrested.

“Pardon me…” One of the nurses said, drawing my attention, “We need to cut off your shirt. Your arm is likely dislocated and we don’t want to move it.”

Oh god, if they cut off this shirt I’ll have to pay 25 dollars to get another. “Um… No, it’s my only uniform.” I said and with my one good arm undid the buttons before another nurse pulled from my uninjured side and I pulled it the rest of the way off, letting the nurse take it.

Unfortunately, pants and shoes too, but I got a nifty gown and now they could resume looking me over. What I didn’t appreciate was them having to pop my arm back into place, that was awful.

They had to bandage up my cuts and test me for brain damage (just a mild concussion) and put my arm in a sling, my ribs were also likely fractured. Molly's ankle had to be splinted as it was strained and Edd had a slight concussion.

At least I got to change back into a spare set of plain clothes that they happened to have, but that required a nurse's help with the newly relocated arm that ached and hurt when I moved it.

Felix hadn’t been brought to our same room, and an officer came to question us. I told the whole story, and just to be sure they breathalyzed me. Unlike a certain driver I blew a 0.0 BAC.

Our stories matched up and they pulled back the curtains to allow us to see each other and talk. They were still shaken up, but they were told their mom and dad were on their way a while ago. Great. I’m just glad their parents were still awake and were on their way, even though I knew there was going to be so much to talk about and I was going to have to justify myself to both of the worried and likely angry parents.

I talked to them about school and what they liked to do, how they just came from a school party. Molly was excited to have her friends sign her ‘cast’ and Edd thought he would be the coolest kid in school for surviving a car crash.

I remembered being their age and smiled and nodded along as I was put on a low grade painkiller and we were given water to drink. After about 20 minutes I could hear a commotion and a man and two women calling out for the two children. They called back and moments later a frazzled looking man, my boss Jack Walten and his wife Rosemary, along with his worried looking teen daughter Sophie rounded the corner of the doorway and in that moment I had never seen anyone look so relieved.

The reunion was toothrottingly sweet, all five hugging and just overjoyed to see their children okay and alive. I couldn’t help but smile, even though it felt like I was intruding on something that should have been private.

Edd brought me up and Molly joined in, the both of them talking at once and practically over each other as they tried to explain everything that happened. I’m not sure if their parents or sister fully understood, but what was grasped was that Felix crashed into me, and I drove them to the hospital.

Both Jack and Rosemary looked at me and I awkwardly waved. He looked confused, like he recognized me but unsure from where, “Hi, boss…” I said, introducing myself for the second time that day.

We only met for ten minutes earlier today, but his eyes widened in surprise. “You… Felix crashed into you?” He asked, “And you got my children to safety?”

I timidly nodded. Please, please don’t be angry.

The officer presented himself and cleared his throat, “Your employee here was driving home when Mr. Kraken, who was intoxicated, who was driving the other way crashed into them and knocked them from the road into the ditch while Mr. Kraken’s car hit the guardrail.” The officer explained.

“I um… I was upside down but cut myself free and climbed out to check on the other car, and I saw that he had Molly and Edd in the back and my car wasn’t about to get out of the ditch any time soon so I just… drove them here.” I finished, punctuating the end by nervously drinking the rest of my water.

“He was drunk?!” Rosemary said, stunned and clearly angry. The officer nodded while Jack’s fist clenched, clearly enraged. I would be just as shocked and angry if I had children and they were put in danger by someone who’s supposed to be their friend.

I should probably be just as angry that some drunk asshole- who is my boss no less- nearly killed me, but I was just glad that we were all still alive. Sure, my car is fucked, and so is about 50% of my body (exaggerating), but my bones will heal and I’ll repair my car or get a new one. I mean, that’s what insurance is for, right?

What I didn’t expect out of all of this was to be hugged by Rosemary. Oh yeah, it fucking hurt but I just kept that to myself. She sniffled and I awkwardly patted her back with my one good arm, “Thank you for keeping them safe…” She said quietly.

“I-It was nothing, really.” I said timidly, “I wasn’t about to leave them alone.”

“Nothing? You saved them!” Jack said and shook my hand when his wife pulled away to dry her eyes and hug all of her children once more, “I can’t ever thank you enough for what you did for my family. I… I couldn’t stomach the thought if…”

I gave him a reassuring squeeze of his hand and he clasped my good shoulder, “It sucks that this happened in the first place but… I’m just glad everyone is alive…” I said, giving a nervous smile.

“Is he alive?” Jack asked, looking at the officer as he let go of my hand and shoulder.

“Yes, he is. We will be pressing charges, he blew above a 0.3.” The officer responded and Jack nodded, seemingly ‘pleased’ with that.

After exchanging contact information and addresses with both Jack and myself he departed, leaving the family to resume their reunion. I smiled awkwardly and looked away awkwardly, scratching my neck.

I haven’t heard anything about my relative having called or if they were coming, so I could only assume I wouldn’t be getting a ride from them. Or a ride tonight at all.

For a moment I was lost in my head, feeling a bit too sorry for myself. I moved all the way out here because there were jobs and rent was cheap, but I was so far from my family and friends, and even though I helped their children would I even still have a job?

I refilled my paper cup and sipped on the cold water before a nurse came to let us all know that after a final check over, we would be set to go home in an hour or so. Great, I better start making calls or something.

For a moment I didn’t realize that Rosemary was talking to me. I looked up as she repeated my name, “U-Uh yeah?” I said, looking a little confused.

“Do you have a ride home…?” She asked. Ah, oh no. I’m not about to ask these clearly exhausted parents for a ride home, I could only imagine they just wanted to get home and be with their children.

“No… But I can get one, don’t worry.” I said, but Jack shook his head.

“Nonsense, it’s the least we could do. You look like you need some sleep.” He said, making me chuckle.

“So do you two.” I laugh, “Really, you don’t need to. I’ll get a hold of someone eventually. Really!”

Rosemary shook her head, “No way, sincerely it wouldn’t be a bother. Where do you live?” She asked, and I reluctantly gave my street address, “Oh, you live just a bit down the way from us!” She said. Looks like it’s out of the question.

The doctor came and checked us all over one last time before giving me a prescription slip for painkillers for the next week and a half and we were permitted to leave. Jack carried his daughter while Rosemary held her son’s hand and I followed behind them.

I won’t lie, I’m pretty damn nervous. Checking out of the hospital took a little while as well, but soon we were free to go. That will be a fun bill to pay.

Rosemary sat in the back with the children, not giving me any chance to protest as I had to sit in the passenger seat next to Jack. Edd and Molly were clearly tired, cuddling up to their mother as Jack turned on the car and carefully pulled out.

It was incredibly clear that Jack was very, very focused on the road, not wanting to get his family into a car accident as well. I couldn’t imagine what he was thinking, but I was just so glad that this didn’t end in tears.

The car ride to their home was mostly quiet, only some light conversation made. Jack was interested to know how I enjoyed my first day on the job.

“It’s been exciting…” I chuckled and he laughed softly, but I wasn’t all that comfortable or any less nervous. I did just want to get home and rest, because tomorrow morning I likely had to call my insurance and figure out how I’ll be getting to and from work.

If there even was a job anymore. With one half of the business owners likely going to jail I didn’t know if Jack would take on the massive workload, or if he would even want me to work there anymore.

“We’re here.” Jack let them know.

We pulled into their driveway and Sophie was the first to get out to help her mother take her siblings into the house with Jack telling them that he would be right back after he dropped me off.

“Have a good night, everyone…” I smiled and waved at them. Edd and Molly sleepily waved back before they went inside and shut the door.

It was surreal, everything that had happened. And now I was alone with my boss as he started to drive towards my home.

“I can’t believe he happened to crash into you…” Jack said and I nodded silently, “I could never thank you enough… You… I just can’t believe…” His voice cracked and he brought his hand up to wipe his cheeks.

“I’m sorry this happened… I’m just glad your children are safe…” I said, fidgeting with a stray string on my pants, unsure if I should pat his back or would that be too far? “You have a beautiful family, Jack, I’m sorry that you’re having to drive me home…”

“Don’t be sorry, you drove them to the hospital with a dislocated arm! I couldn’t imagine what it was like, being run off the road and into a ditch, upside down!” He said and I couldn’t help but laugh.

“To be honest, it was like a dream. One moment he’s coming towards me and I move aside since the road is pretty narrow, the next I see that he’s a bit too close over to my side and then finally I’m upside down in the ditch.”

“And- It was you! Who would have thought that my new employee would be the one to get hit.” He said, smiling softly, “Oh and don’t you worry about rushing back into work! I will be paying you your wages, you helped my family out, I’m going to help you too.”

“You-You really don’t have to do that. I’ll be okay!” I insisted, but he shook his head. He wasn’t having it.

“I want to, you don’t understand how stressed and worried we were…” He said, “I called Felix over 20 times, I thought the worst had happened and I… I started to lose hope I would ever see them again.”

“He’s going to jail for this, no doubt…” I said, “Will you be taking over the business…?”

“Yeah… It’ll be a lot but I think I have someone who I can rely on to help.” He said, smiling.

“Oh, good! I’ll try my best to pull my own weight.” I said, smiling, “I know you guys took a big risk hiring me fresh out of college but-”

“I- It’s you!” He said, “I know you just started, but your finance and programming degree is going to be a massive help!”

“Wha…?” I gaped at him. Me? Did I get a promotion? “I would be honored to help!” I smiled. I think I just became a manager or something, I’ll figure that out when I go back to work.

I pointed out my house and he pulled up in front, “I won’t let you down, I promise.” I gleamed and he smiled, holding his hand out for me to shake.

I did, not expecting him to pull me in for a hug. Looks like this was a really huggy family, it was pretty similar to my own family. “I know you won’t. Would you mind if you gave me your number so we can speak tomorrow? I imagine Edward and Molly would like to hear that you’re okay.” He asked.

I nodded and waited until he got a pen and a small black book to put my number in it before I opened the door, “I’ll speak to you soon, then… Have a good night, boss.” I smiled and he laughed.

“Just call me Jack. Really.” He said, “Have a good night.” I nodded and got out before shutting the door, walking to the front door. I grabbed the spare key from the mail box and gave one last wave after I unlocked the door. He flicked his high beams at me before he started to back up and I opened the door, shutting and locking it behind me.

It’s been a really strange night.

[cosmiclatte28]

Baseball (Jeno x you)

a/n : the setting is similar to the previous Jeno story (Single), but the plot and the people are different. Don’t get this mixed hahaha

for @neopalette and all Jeno stan out there! Enjoy this semi angst semi fluff friendship to lover Jeno (hopefully to lover, you got to choose)

casts : Jeno, Renjun, Yuta (just a cameo), (y/n)

“Ready for today Capt?” Your teammate nudges your ribcage and you toss a glance to her.

No you're not ready, the final game in winter quads, the final game where your team have strived so hard to reach this point. Your heart is not okay but can you tell that to your team members? No.

With a professional lie, you nod and pat her shoulder “We can do this, we'll try our best!” You smile and turn away.

It's the final round of the regional baseball game, your team has wonderfully played along the winter and this is the last game with the toughest enemy. You know your team doesn’t have a big chance, but seeing them trying their best, you play your part as a captain nicely.

“Good luck!” Yuta, the school's favorite leader of the men baseball team, pats your shoulder when he passes you on his way to watch the game.

“Oh Yuta-senpai.” You bow a little to honor him (using senpai because he came from Japan) and he smiles “(y/n)-chan, you're a great captain okay? Show them what you got!” he ruffles a bit of your hair and if this was last year, you'd melt into a puddle.

No, your heart no longer desires Yuta. He is just too hard to reach, wanting Yuta means fighting with all the girls in this neighborhood.  Yes neighborhood!

Your steps bring you to the familiar field. You wait for your turn while daydreaming. Someone has been bothering your mind lately. Jeno Lee, the school’s favorite athlete who sadly is no longer playing in the games because he shades the other players’ talent. Jeno Lee, your childhood best friend, your neighbor, your eternal bestfriend. He’s been distant lately, with his new hobby. Painting, Jeno Lee doing arts is something you never thought of, but all of this happened since he met Renjun.

Is Jeno not going to cheer on you? He never missed your games, but lately he’s so caught up In the art room with that new talented painter, Huang Renjun.

“It’s your turn (y/n)! You’re our last hope. Please score one to tie, or we’ll lose.” Your team all root for you but you’re caught in a daydream.

“Don’t worry guys, I got this.” You smile at them and walk to the base. Your heart beats faster the second you run your eyes through the audience.

“Fighting (y/n)!!” Jeno screams to you with his painting apron still attached on his uniform as he waves and smiles to you.

Your heart was beating fast because of him, not from the pressure of the game. So, Jeno did not forget you after all-

You spoke too soon, of course Renjun has to be there. There next to him, Renjun comes shouting for you too and rooting for you. Why must it be Renjun and Jeno, why. Out of all your friends, why Jeno and out of all possibilities of snatching Jeno away, why Renjun. It’s annoying how Renjun can talk about painting with Jeno heart to heart. You did not even realize Jeno is fascinated about arts that much! Unlike you who’s like a misfit, they both look like a fitting puzzle piece when they talk about arts.

The whistle is blown, your first strike.

You hold your bat tighter, you never miss a pitch, what’s wrong with you.

“Strike 2!” the referee blows the whistle again.

Jeno shoots you a concern look, but you did not miss the third shot. It’s not the best shot, you could do better but you run. Your emotion is burning your passion to run and run and ignore all the pain chasing you whenever memories with Jeno comes flooding your mind.

It was you who usually make him laugh, it was you who sits on the bench during lunch together. It was you who watched all of his games but now all he has in his schedule is Renjun and Renjun and Renjun!

You pass the first post, your legs still bring you to the second post and without having a clear mind you make your final run. Wouldn’t it be cool to finish with a home run?

“Stop!” your friends screamed at the top of their lungs but your ears are closed.

“Lee Jeno, let me show you who I am.” You grit your teeth as you make a slide to the home base only to bulge your eyes when you see the ball already touched the ground first before your leg did.

“I make our team lose.” Was all that is ringing in your head.

“Ouch that must hurt.” Renjun closes his eyes when he sees the dramatic ending and how you fall on the sledding process.

Jeno gulps, he knows something is not right. You were training for this super hard and he knows you’re the best player. What is bothering you today?

--

“It’s okay, we had great memories. Don’t be too hard on yourself.” One of your teammate consoles you when both of you are walking down the street to go home.

You nod your head “I am sorry for making the team lose.” You bow a little bit to her, she shakes it off

“Don’t worry, people make mistakes.” She smiles, then taps your shoulder “I can go home by myself from here,” she sounds rushed, you try to stop her “Your boyfriend is waiting.” She juts her chin to the dark road ahead of you and you can see a silhouette walking to you. Who could it be? You’re single

She runs quickly to the other path, leaving you alone in the empty street to wait and see the street lamp shining on the man’s face.

“Why are you walking home, your ankle is swollen. Babo-ya” Jeno squats and you’re frozen in track.

“Jump, I’ll carry you home. You did  this once for me in elementary when  I fell and you brought me home while also crying because you’re sorry for me.” He smiles to you sincerely “Let me pay you back.”

You jump into his back, and Jeno takes off your right shoes. “I have ice, hold the cold okay?” he wraps an ice pack to your swollen ankle and your eyes can no longer stay dry.

You cry, cross it out brawl like a baby who just got their candy taken away.

“How did you walk that far in this swollen ankle? You don’t want to play baseball again?” Jeno asks you as he walks down the starry night with a crying mess on his back.

“I lost! The team lost because of me and I am now carried on your back with a swollen ankle crying. I am such a mess Jeno.” You cry harder into his shoulder and he just laughs a little bit “When was the last time I see you cry? Maybe it was that night you carried me on your back because you accidentally pushed me down the monkey bars. I remembered I twisted an ankle too and you carried me home.”

You smile in your crying state, touched that Jeno still remembers what you did to him as a child. And now he is doing this to you, like a payback. Though you sincerely did that for him.

“You were doing great on practice, what’s wrong?” Jeno questions when he hears your sniffling slowing down.

You hit his back “It’s because of you!!”

“Eoh? What did I do?”

You bite your lips and cry again when you remember how happy he and Renjun always look together.

“You forgot me and hang out with Renjun all the time.” You pout knowing you sound so silly right now, but you’re sad.

Jeno chuckles “So, you are jealous?” he hoists you up his back when he feels you’re slipping off.

“I am not.” You deny it though you clearly is jealous.

“Fine. You’re not jealous. If you’re not jealous why did you lose focus earlier and hurt yourself?”

“I- I was distracted.” That is embarrassing.

Jeno smirks “Ah yeah distracted by me and Renjun standing on your side cheering for you.”

You smack his shoulder “Babo, that’s wrong!” “Whatever, are you alone at home again?” Jeno asks when your house is already in sight.

You nod “Yes everyone is away, they’re working hard for me.”

Jeno knows that, he knows your parents are too busy with their careers and you’re left alone in the house. He wonders how you can feel okay with living by yourself. If that is Jeno he’d already beg to join them instead.

“Why are you still here then?” Jeno mindlessly asks as he brings you to his living room and helps you sit on the sofa. He greets his mom, and you also know her like your own mom.

She lets you have your time with Jeno and Jeno returns after a short moment with a first aid kit.

You ask yourself why are you still here? You could’ve joined them and leave this small town, but here you are still seated in the same house of the neighbor you grew up with!

“You ask me why? Well this town has many memories to me Jeno.” You wince when he presses some soothing cream to your ankle

Jeno smiles when you start to ramble about stories of the younger days, embarrassing one like how Jeno and you were caught red handed trying to bring a cat home when both your parents forbid you. Cute memories like how you accidentally kissed Jeno’s cheek when playing around. Touching one like when you carried Jeno all the way back from the park to the home. Annoying one where he teases you when you had your first crush on the school’s prince; Na Jaemin. Everything always include Jeno in your story, or at least the ones you remember by heart.

“We sure do have lots of memories together! Is it me that makes you stay?” Jeno throws this question as a joke, but you think of this seriously. Yes, he is actually the reason why you stay here.

“I guess that is almost true. I stayed for you, my best friend, technically the one who saw me grow up and share memories with me.” You glance to your nicely bandaged foot, he put on some herbal powder there you didn’t know the name, but Jeno is an expert in sports injuries.

“There, tomorrow it’s going to turn blue, but you can use it a little.” He takes a seat next to you.

You watch him takes care of you, for you this is romantic but does he also feel it that way?

“JJa- take care of yourself better next time. Don’t hurt yourself again.” He ruffles your hair, but when you see his eye smile, you suddenly remember the conversation that has been haunting you for the past month.

--

Flashback

Renjun and Jeno were in the art room, talking in low voice as they paint a vase of flowers.

“So, I see you’re very close to (y/n),” Renjun said

Jeno smiles, the same eye smile he always gives whenever he is thinking about you, “I mean figuratively and literally. We’re neighbours.” Jeno glances to the window, it’s almost noon are you done with your practice? His mind wonders.

“Then she really means a lot to you right?” Renjun asks once again.

Jeno pauses and thinks, after a while he shrugs his shoulder “She’s a little sister I should take care of.”

You happen to be eavesdropping them and for once you hate yourself for eavesdropping. You know you should never eavesdrop, now you are the one in pain right?

With that, you leave them and walk home by yourself for the first time.

--

You go back to your house after Jeno’s mom feeds you a proper meal. You meet his sister when she enters the house and you’re leaving. She looks surprised to find you there, it’s been awhile since you visit their house despite being their neighbor.

You just say hi and quickly hide in your room, why? To cry of course. Because of the game, because of Jeno’s sweet actions, and the truth that he sees you up to “friends” only.

You tried to encourage yourself and think that there is a small chance… but the cynic side of you won and you sleep with a wet pillow that night.

But when he picks you up the next day with his bike, and helps you go up the stairs to reach your class then bids you farewell and picks you up for break times…. The flowers In your heart blooms again and the butterflies are filling your stomach.

If this is the feeling of falling in love with Jeno, you’d do this over and over again even if it means pain or it means happy ever after.

end

[sofreddie]

Serendipitous Souls 9

Summary: Dean can't believe he forgot.

Characters: Dean x OC!Reader

Warnings: Angst, Fluff

Word Count: 1,760

Dean woke with a start. The cabin was dark and the fire was down to embers. He wasn’t sure what woke him. Y/N was fast asleep beside him and he smiled, kissing her head before slinking from the bed. He threw on his boxer briefs and stumbled to the bathroom. Once done he stopped in the doorway, looking over the cabin in confusion. Something felt off. His sleep addled brain struggled to catch up.

He shuffled into the living area and stared at the front door, his brow furrowed in thought. His gaze traveled down the length of the door to the floor.

No salt line.

Then it clicked.

He was so distracted by Y/N, by this whole thing between them, that he’d lost his common freaking sense. He was wide-awake now as he hurried to grab the duffle with his hunting supplies - thank you Sam - and began putting up basic motel-room protections.

Y/N awoke several minutes later, the sounds of shuffling and hurried movements stirring her. She threw on Dean’s flannel, hastily doing a few buttons, before slinking her way into the living area.

Dean had worked himself into a frenzy. She could see salt lines along the door and windows. Dean was muttering to himself as he took stock of the items in his hunting duffel.

“Dean?” she asked quietly, afraid to disturb him but wondering what had happened. She hadn’t seen this side of Dean yet. The real Deal. The troubled Hunter and tragic hero Dean. She swallowed down the guilt and panic she felt over reality crashing into her again, “You okay?”

He met her eyes with a tired and worried gaze. His jaw was tight and she knew he was upset.

“No,” he shook his head, sighing as he continued sorting his items.

“Is there something I can do to help?” she was trying to tread carefully, knowing how he could be.

He looked up at her again, his gaze softening somewhat when he realized she was wearing his shirt - and only his shirt - and it just barely covered everything. He licked his bottom lip into his mouth, biting down on it, before shaking himself out of it.

“Yeah,” he said, finally packing the items away, seemingly satisfied, “I wanna take you tomorrow to get a tattoo,” he said, dropping the bag to the side and resting his hands on her sides, “This one,” he said pointing to his chest, “Wherever you want. But you gotta get it, okay?”

“Okay,” she agreed easily, “What’s got you so worked up?”

“I didn’t salt the doors and windows,” he stated, clearly pissed with himself, “I’ve been doing this my whole life. I know the routine. But I let myself be so distracted-” he cut himself off, seeing Y/N drop her gaze and fight a pout, “-it’s not your fault,” he insisted, lifting her chin to meet his eyes once more, “It’s not. I just lost focus and I know better. I have to keep you safe. Even if everything seems happy and perfect, I have to assume the worst. To keep you safe.”

“Okay,” she responded again, placing a hand over his heart, “I’ll remember too, okay?” she offered, smiling at him.

He nodded, letting out a sigh of relief at how understanding she was. Of course she is. She’s his other half. He wrapped her in his arms, kissing the top of her head and tucking her under his chin. After several minutes of him silently holding her, she led them back to bed. She let him move her how he needed, finding herself back in the hugging position from before, safely in his arms.

Dean was silent and pensive as they packed up their belongings in the Impala. He was proud of himself for not freaking out as much as he usually would the night before. But something about Y/N made him calmer. Still, internally, he was a mess. He couldn’t stop berating himself over forgetting basic protections. Couldn’t stop worrying about her well-being.

What if something had happened?

What if someone was trailing them?

As they drove to the nearby tattoo parlor Dean had found, their conversation was light. Mostly monosyllabic responses to one another. Yet the air between them still seemed full. She was patient and kind and understanding and Dean didn’t feel he deserved it, but was thankful for it all the same.

As they parked outside the parlor, Y/N was beaming with excitement. Her inner fangirl won this round as she babbled on about the tattoo and where to get it and how she’d thought of getting it before. After much discussion regarding placement - and Dean shooting down suggestions that might have the artist seeing more than he’d like of his girl - she chose to have it on her chest, just like him and Sam. The fangirl won another round.

As she laid back in only her bra, exposing her chest for the artist, Dean stood by vigilantly watching every detail. Of course, the tattoo had to be exact. But Dean was more focused on ensuring the artist was a professional and not taking in his canvas. Luckily for them both, he was, and he finished rather quickly. As Y/N redressed, Dean paid him, before helping her back out to the car.

“Awesome,” she smiled as she examined the tattoo, smiling over at Dean. He returned her smile, thankful she was protected.

“So, listen,” Dean said as he began driving down the road once more. He loved how comfortable she’d become in the car, as if she belonged there. And Dean supposed she did, right beside him. “I talked to Sam this morning. There’s a case not too far from here and he needs some back up,” he chanced a glance at her to see the smile slipping from her face and worry etching into her features, “It should only take a few days, maybe,” he continued.

“O-okay,” she responded, forcing a smile onto her face for his benefit, but he could see right through it.

He sighed heavily, “I can’t stop hunting, Y/N,” he grimaced, having to hash out this talk once more. He was tired of it really. Tired of where it always, inevitably led.

“I know,” she agreed with a slight nod, “I wasn’t asking you to.”

“You’re upset.” He pointed out.

“Not with you,” she sighed, looking out the window at the passing scenery. It always helped her think, “I know you hunt, obviously,” she huffed out, before looking over at him, “I just hadn’t really thought about it much since coming here.”

“Okay,” Dean nodded, licking his lips, “Well, it’s only slightly off our road trip and we can continue the trip after-”

“I know,” she said a little more forcefully, “I know,” she repeated more calmly, “You have a job to do. I get that. I watch you save the world every week!” she exclaimed with a humorless laugh. Dean patiently waited for her to continue, “It’s just…every time you go out I gotta worry if you’re coming back now,” she mumbled with a pout, “And I gotta worry if everyone I come across could be a monster.”

Dean let out a long sigh. She was right. He wanted to comfort her, promising he’ll always come back. Tell her she didn’t have to live in fear. But that was his life. Her worries were valid.

How could he soothe her when her concerns were his own?

“I’ve been thinking about this since Chuck paired us,” he breathed out, “Watching our lives from the comfort of your living room is a lot easier than living it. But you already know so much, which helps more than I can explain. I can teach you things, keep you with me or Sam to keep you safe. But what you already know helps so fucking much,” he breathed out.

“It’s just scary and sobering,” she shrugged, “So I guess I’ll hang back at the motel while you two do your thing?” she asked.

He nodded, pursing his lips, “Yeah, I think that’s best. And maybe you could help with research or something too. We could always use another brain and set of eyes,” he smiled warmly at her and she gave him a small smile in return. “You, uh…” he cleared his throat and shifted in his seat, “You don’t want to hunt…right?”

“You mean do I want to willingly throw myself at things that want to kill and eat me?” she chuckled, “No thanks. I’ll hang back at base and chant ‘Go team’,” she snorted a laugh.

“Good,” Dean released a breath he didn’t know he was holding, “Good, that’s…good.” She giggled and they were silent for a while before she noticed Dean’s face pinched in thought once more.

“What now?” she sighed out dramatically, smirking at him playfully.

“That just seemed too easy,” he explained in a mumble and Y/N looked at him confused before he tried to elaborate, “Just usually there’s arguing, fighting, declarative statements and ultimatums,” he pointed out, “I’ve had this talk, too many times, and whether its a woman or a friend or freakin’ Sam,” he huffed out a laugh, “It’s always, always an argument.”

“Do you want me to argue with you?” she asked.

“What? No.” Dean was quick to defend, “It’s just…last night you calmed me down without a fight and today you’re so agreeable and understanding, and still no fight. I don’t like fighting and arguing. It’s just…unusual to not have to I guess is what I mean.”

She shifted in her seat to face him, one leg bent on the seat, an elbow propped on the back of the seat, her head leaning against her fist. “Okay, well, I could argue that it’s dangerous or it’s not just you or a bunch of things, right? But then you’d be all,” she drops her tone and tries to mimic his deep, gruffy voice with an exaggerated pout and Dean can’t help but laugh, “-but it’s my life. Saving People. Hunting Things. The Family Business-” he nods in agreement, a big grin on his face as he continues listening to her, “And we could get all mopey and sad and worry about what might happen,” she lets out a long breath and smiles at him, “Or we can just prepare for the worst, hope for the best, and be happy as much as possible.”

“I like that plan,” he agreed with a nod. She smiles and leans forward, placing a lingering soft kiss on his stubbled cheek.

“Me too.”

Forevers:

@sis-tafics

@lyarr24

@calaofnoldor

@hobby27

@spnbaby-67

Dean Winchester:

@akshi8278

@jerkbitchidjitassbutt

Serendipitous Souls:

@brilovesdeanwinchester

@xhannahbananax03

@440mxs-wife

@crist1216

@deans-baby-momma

[givemeonebreath]

A big, messy Linked Universe playlist

Link for Links

Heavy on the angst, because of who I am as a person. (At the same time, don’t take it too seriously, man.)

Influenced by canon, manga (TP Link is really Going Through It™ ), my personal perceptions, and popular fandom canon.

A pretty wide variety of genres, with a bias towards metal and prog rock.

I kept snippets of lyrics for most songs, also because of who I am as a person. (Some were particularly hard to narrow down to just one verse or chorus.) Those - and a little more rambling - are under the cut if you really want, in the order of the playlist. But. It’s long.

I didn’t initially make this with the intent to share, but hey. Throughout my past year+ of listening, I’ve been haphazardly adding songs to a playlist I very creatively named Links. If something reminded me of them, whether through the music or lyrics or both, I threw it on the playlist, so some songs might seem odd or vague. Some are really on the nose, as subtle as a sledgehammer. (Sky for Sky? Dude. Sorry.) Some are there because of a fitting line or two that stuck in my head. Ultimately, music - like any form of creative expression - can be interpreted in a multitude of ways. 

My listening habits and tastes are erratic, which is why this is one big, jumbled playlist and not separated for different Links. Not to mention if I did that, some (Wild, Legend) would have a lot and some (Wind, Four) would have none, both because of my own familiarity with them, and because of the general themes of the music I tend to listen to. Most songs are a general ‘hero’s spirit reborn’ mood, anyway - those are the first part of the playlist. The second half is more nuanced to specific Links, plus a few Ganon vibes.

1. Deep Purple - April (Koji Kondo, composer of the original Legend of Zelda theme, was into Deep Purple as a kid, and it shows.)

2. Kamelot - Regalis Apertura

3. Au4 - So Just Hang On, Beautiful One (I’ve posted this here before. I can’t hear it without thinking of LU now.) So I slipped in through the gate almost unknown. All my border stamps were late. Seven days old. Cold hand griped my shoulder blade, broke the bone. Bloody nose and turned away, all the way home.

4. FC Kahuna - Hayling Don’t think about all those things you fear, just be glad to be here

5. Glass Animals - Youth Boy, when I left you you were young I was gone, but not my love You were clearly meant for more Than a life lost in the war

6. Pain of Salvation - Restless Boy A restless boy in a world too slow A flame born into cinder, ash, and glow I've given everything I gave it all Yet find myself alone

7. Haken - The Endless Knot Our design shifted frame by frame! Across the line our cycle starts to fail. Our design shifted frame by frame! Across the line we die to live again.   We need a story to believe in. We need a hero to prevail. We need a challenge we can overcome, it takes a tragedy to make us one 

8. Kamelot - Memento Mori (I particularly associate this with Time and Twilight) I am the god in my own history The master of the game I may believe if she would come to me And whisper out my name Sometimes I wonder where the wind has gone If life has ever been Sometimes I wonder how belief alone Can cut me free from sin

9. Katatonia - Fighters Look I told you so We never stop If we said that We'll back it up For sure You know We're fighters

10. Megadeth - This Day We Fight! (I mean, all Links, but particularly Warriors) For this I was chosen, because I fear nothing With confidence I tread through the dead of the night Off to another war-torn, faraway battlefield Wherein lies a demonic enemy horde

11. Moon Tooth - Igneous Well, the spirit took me And this old broken body leapt up and danced Settin’ out Settin' out with all my heroes in a bundle at my back Hawk am I More wings span in my shadow than overcast Yeah, you know what they say Always need something to look up to, ha

12. Samael - Moongate Destiny, tomorrow is today Destiny, without boundaries How many nights will we spend together traveling infinity back and forth and again How many times will we go together questioning eternity about us about our wonders...

13. TOOL- Parabola This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion

14. Lunatic Soul - Blood on the Tightrope No matter how hard you try To shut down your feverish thoughts They hunt you down with no regret Cause you have to fix it all

15. Hybrid - Keep It In The Family

16. Soul Savers - Unbalanced Pieces Gone, now carry on Through violent seasons I call you mother, mother, mother In vain, absent chain The twilight's bleeding And the playing board has two unbalanced pieces

17. Steve Von Till - Valley of the Moon All she gives is a stone facade Like ill-given flowers at a dead man's wake Here we slave for the dreams of another And fight over scraps like wayward dogs

18. Ludovico Einaudi - Experience

19. Lunatic Soul - Summoning Dance Three stones on the right side Three stones on the left My vicious circle of life and death   “Oh you want it” I hear it again “Oh you want it” My burden Curse to break

20. Lunatic Soul - Through Shaded Woods Run through your shaded woods Run through your shaded mind Run through the night Run away Run through the darkness Run

21. Lunatic Soul - Naavie

22. David Bowie - Nature Boy There was a boy A very strange, enchanted boy They say he wandered very far Very far, over land and sea A little shy and sad of eye But very wise was he

23. The Dandy Warhols - Sleep Well, I could sleep forever But it's of her I dream If I could sleep forever I could forget about everything 

24. Au4 - Everyone is Everyone (and Everything is Everything) Tripping and tumbling, Flipping and fumbling. Flowing on the rivers of sadness That have been forever rumbling.   But from dawn until now Of all the paths that I could have gone down Of all the valleys That I could have been flowing through.   In spite of all the chaos And all that has come between us, How is it I still find myself Here with you. 

25. Kingcrow - Everything Goes Your hands again upon the ground Falling rain for hours and hours As you learn the game Time dispels the fog ... Ever been there? Ever felt like prey? Ever thought your mind was feeble? Lot of things that don’t make sense

26. Pain of Salvation - Icon As a child I felt too old And now when I'm grown-up I feel too young A different kind so I've been told Just slightly out of reach and out of time

27. Sophia Loizou - Divine Interference (I got spooky dungeon vibes. Also, the title.)

28. Carpenter Brut - Fab Tool Runnin Gunnin Forward in the phantom shatter so grand Splatter grand, arcanum fuel Wrought iron out of the sky Over me, tells no lie

29. Blue Stahli - Death Will Have to Run All on the open road Where none will ever grow A journey toward the known With countless miles to go

30. Gyroscope - Mistakes & Ladders I am the first? No I can't be the first A continuous nothing, destined for something Tell me who you are and why you trapped me here

31. Queens of the Stone Age - Run, Pig, Run Run, pig, run Here I come

32. Chali 2na & Krafty Kuts - Guard The Fort The swords are drawn and odds are stacked And we clash the impact's a thunderous clap Calm demeanor Even though we are under attack [...my turn to guard the fort ready for combat]

33. The Great Discord - Army of Me (lol)

34. Kongos - Terrified I think I'll start again and change my name You only live once or twice, what a shame Somebody fucked up when designing this game

35. Woodkid - Run Boy Run Run, boy, run! This ride is a journey to Run, boy, run! The secret inside of you Run, boy, run! This race is a prophecy Run, boy, run! And disappear in the trees

36. The Beta Machine - The End A million miles away from you this time I'll do what it takes I'm on my way If lines are in the sand I'll go under If I can make it in time I will bring you back with me

37. Devin Townsend Project - Gump When we last met who was I? I'm sorry we no longer see eye to eye The energy to keep you in while keeping myself out I'm sorry how you'll take this  But I just don't have the patience anymore 

38. Arrested Youth - Riot! I can't get much satisfaction living in this cave It's tough to breathe, I'm in the belly of the beast Can't sleep with all my rage With me and all my generations living in this cage Pick up your guns and tell your sons, tonight we break the cage

39. Led Zeppelin - Friends So anytime somebody needs you Don't let them down, although it grieves you Some day you'll need someone like they do Looking for what you knew

40. Faunts - M4, pt 2 (Wild) Fight your foes you're not alone Holy war is on the phone Asking to please stay on hold Bleeding loss of blood runs cold And I need you to recover   Because I can't make it on my own

41. Faith No More - Ashes to Ashes (Wild) I want them to know it's me, it's on my head I'll point the finger at me, it's on my head Smiling with the mouth of the ocean And I'll wave to you with the arms of the mountain

42. Devin Townsend - Jupiter (Wild) I know you At least I think I do Everything's changed But in the days that are so dark It's wonderful

43. Katatonia - Neon Epitaph (Wild) Shadow of my shadow Cling not to my grief I am long left behind now You are free

44. The Smashing Pumpkins - The Beginning is the End is the Beginning (Wild) Time has stopped before us The sky cannot ignore us No one can separate us For we are all that is left The echo bounces off me The shadow lost beside me There's no more need to pretend Cause now I can begin again 

45. Katatonia - Lacquer (Wild) My voice travelling Soaring bird above your head The house we lived in Ridden with disease ... The levee breaking I can't live to fight once more The road to the grave is straight as an arrow I'm just staying around to sing your song, baby

46. Eskimo Joe - This is Pressure (Wild) There is no romance in suffocation  The walls fall down like your expectations You want to scream  And you want to shout But you've built up steam  And you can't let it out This is pressure 

47. Portugal. The Man - 1000 Years (Wild) We'll wait 1000 years  Until the end of time We'll wait 1000 more Dressed up in gold and white We'll climb the mountain sides  To find what's in the sky We'll dig through mountain sides  To find what's deep inside

48. Au4 - An Ocean’s Measure of Sorrow (Wild) Forgot my name and who I was. Memories of nothing floating up. All of the sorrow we once knew, Colours the ocean's water blue.

49. Band of Skulls - Carnivorous (Twilight) I am corrosive and cohesive Like a chemical bond I'm all together undone I am the broken kingdom I'm just so, so, so  So carnivorous

50. Glass Animals - Flip (Twilight) I wanna go back with a club and attack I wanna take to my guns and break you I gotta make my little foe take his own

51. TV on the Radio - Wolf Like Me (Twilight) My mind has changed my body's frame, but, God, I like it My heart's aflame, my body's strained, but, God, I like it

52. Kamelot - The Spell (Twilight) All my demons cast a spell The souls of dusk rising from the ashes So the book of shadows tell The weak will always obey the master

53. OSI - Radiologue (Legend) I was dreaming I was heading west thirty days faster Had a fever woke up in a sweat bailing out the water  Can't go on Can't go back   Heard your voice coming through the noise wrote it in the radio log Hurt my head, wondering what you said so I threw it overboard  

54. Katatonia - Don’t Tell A Soul (Legend) I have been destroyed by the perfection that is a lie see I'm moving soon see my feet are already on the road and if you know where I’m going don’t tell a soul

55. Haken - The Mind’s Eye (Legend) The shape of things to come are closer than they seem Changing your design every time you disappear I'm planning my escape through portals of your mind Where people seem to drop like flies

56. Pain of Salvation - Species (Legend) Sometimes I hate my fucking species Yet most days I'll do anything to please it  My generation was fooled to pursue our dreams But it is not what it seems You never need what you want And you rarely want what you need

57. Euringer - Do You Kiss Your Mama with That Mouth? (Legend) All my life, misunderstood I'm fuckin' too smart, too smart for my own good The last question, before I go is "Hey motherfucka, do you kiss your mama with that mouth?"  Yes! I kiss your mama with this mouth

58. !!! - Pardon My Freedom (Legend) Like I give a fuck, like I give a shit Like I give a fuck about that shit Like I give a fuck about that motherfucking shit

59. Team Sleep - Ataraxia (Legend) Froze asleep Coma deep I dream I'm out with you Alone at sea

60. Oliver Tank - Embrace (Legend) You're in my dreams The world is torn apart at the seams And I don't wanna leave Wearing my heart on it's sleeve

61. Machine Gun Fellatio - The Girl of My Dreams (Is Giving Me Nightmares) (Legend) The girl of my dreams is giving me nightmares I don't know what it means but she's got multi-coloured hair When she stands in the sand I dream of peaches And I'm not sure what that means either

62. Earl Greyhound - Shotgun (Legend & Hyrule) I am nobody, nobody is who I am I am a traveler on this land And nothing, nothing, nothing in my hands

63. TV on the Radio - Staring at the Sun (Hyrule) You're staring at the sun You're standing in the sea Your mouth is open wide You're trying hard to breathe The water's at your neck There's lightning in your teeth Your body's over me

64. Echo & The Bunnymen - The Killing Moon (Time) Fate Up against your will Through the thick and thin He will wait until You give yourself to him

65. Sufjan Stevens - Sugar (Sky) Don’t break my heart, don’t break my flow now And all this rage has got to go now Let’s take up this lifeline Come on, baby, gimme some sugar Don’t make me wait Don’t make me wait too long Don’t make me sing the sad song Come on, baby, gimme some sugar

66. Obsydians - Ascension (Sky) Rise above the hardships you’ll face I will sign and keep on rising As long as you are giving me your soul and keep me awake Feel like home and spread your light around I will listen and just be there As long as you are giving me your love I’ll give you my soul

67. Sonique - Sky -_-

68. Enter Shikari - The King (Ganon) Watch your back, my friend I'm about to kickstart a cycle Of never ending revenge And this time it's primal, it's tribal

69. Saul Williams - WTF! (Ganon, Hylia) "You've been polluted, uprooted by time You have been muted, computed but I'm A living vessel of the one, of the moon, of the sun" Hey! You ain't as dead as you seem, what the fuck? Hey! But you keep living your lies

70. These New Puritans - We Want War (Ganon/ Dark Link/ any nemesis I guess) Shadows dance back up, it's happening again If you listen carefully you might hear them whisper: "We hold all the secrets, we hold all the words; But they're scrambled and broken so you'll never know" Can't you see them Floating like black ash? Can't you feel them Crawling down your back?

[spencers-renaissance]

Hear it in the Silence

Summary: A short, fluffy chronicle of Spencer realising in increments how in love with Derek he is, and navigating a real, beautifully sweet relationship that's not always smooth sailing, especially since he's been hurt before. (Based on Taylor Swift’s You are in Love.)

Tags: major fluff, angst, past abuse, hurt/comfort, fights, making up, falling in love, dev relationship 

Pairing: Morgan x Reid

Word Count: 3.7k

Read on AO3 (detailed cw in notes)

They’re careful to arrive separately but unsurprisingly, subtlety is not Derek’s strong suit. Spencer has a good poker face -- although logically he knows that a cheerful, passive expressive is the best actual poker face due to its non-threatening nature -- but Derek absolutely cannot get rid of the smug, pleased smile he’s wearing proudly. It’s a good thing Spencer looks as unsuspicious as possible because as soon as he enters the room, Emily’s teasing him about the hot date he clearly had last night. 

Derek might look smug but Spencer feels it: a soft swirl of satisfaction settling in his tummy, though he’s careful not to show it. He’s proud of himself for how smoothly the date went last night, much more comfortable than the first three, and he’s even happier that he can now call himself Derek Morgan’s boyfriend. He’d stayed the night for the first time last night and it couldn’t have been more special in Spencer’s eyes. 

He may not be grinning like Derek is, but he’s filled with a happy sort of warmth completely unmatched by any feeling that’s ever occupied his body before. It festers and grows and develops even throughout the gruesome briefing, even when discussing the profile of an enucleator, even when looking at crime scene photos. Pretty colours still ripple through his brain, comforting him with the promise of more, the promise of purpose beyond his day job.

The colours only intensify when they walk to the jet together with Emily and JJ, chatting about their weekends in vague as possible terms. They’re nearly at the door when Derek looks at him like he did last night: like he can’t quite believe what, who, he’s seeing, like Spencer’s everything he’ll ever need to be happy. If anyone caught it, they’d be found out immediately, but they don’t.

It’s a look meant just for him. 

He wants to bask in this moment for just a little longer, but they force themselves to pull their eyes away from one another and board the jet. At this point, he has no choice but to acknowledge that he will be working this case with his insides a messy, melted puddle of sentiment. And he’s not even mad about it.

⭐️

The insides of his eyelids don’t solely exist to serve their intended biological function anymore: they’re no longer just protection for his eyes but a cinema screen playing moments shared with Derek over and over again. Their first date, their first kiss, the first time Derek held him closely as he pushed slowly inside him. The looks he sends his way, the feeling of Derek’s hand in his, his broad chest and how it’s the perfect pillow for Spencer’s tired head. 

Time moves too fast so Spencer has no choice but to play it back, over and over again. 

“I’ve never been more jealous of your eidetic memory,” Derek chuckles when Spencer tells him this a little shyly on their next date. 

At first he’s terrified his boyfriend is mocking him, not appreciating just how deadly serious he’s being, but the earnest, adoring look Derek is wearing across his features tells him otherwise. His expressive face is one of the things Spencer loves so much about him; social situations and cues are hard for him to read, but one look at Derek’s face and he knows exactly what’s happening, exactly how to respond and behave. 

“It’s one of the few perks,” Spencer concedes, slipping his mittened hand into Derek’s. It’s late November and the evenings are cold, even in DC, but walking down the quiet street lit up by Christmas lights together after a delicious meal warms Spencer from the inside out. 

They pause a little way down the street when Derek points up at a Christmas light decoration in the shape of a mistletoe. “It would be bad luck if we didn’t,” he says seriously despite the playfulness in his eyes.

“Can’t have that,” Spencer hums, and he plays with the wide buttons on Derek’s double-breasted coat as he leans in and connects their lips in a soft kiss, feeling Derek’s hands come to his waist in the way he likes far too much, feeling small in his boyfriend’s hold. 

“An extra one for good luck,” Derek whispers as he leans in for one more after they pull away, brushing a lock of Spencer’s hair out of his eyes. “That’s how it works, you know.”

“It is?” Spencer laughs, eyes crinkling fondly at the look on his face. 

“Mhm,” Derek confirms, moving his hand to Spencer’s lower back as they continue their walk back to Spencer’s apartment. “I’m a Christmas tradition expert. I know more than you, probably.”

“Sure,” Spencer grins diplomatically, leaning in closer to the warm body next to him, contentedness flooding his insides.

Derek only stays for an hour before driving back to dump his stuff and repack his go-bag for the upcoming week, but it’s sort of a good thing. A lot has happened in a very short span of time and Spencer appreciates having a bit of uninterrupted alone time to really think about what’s been going on. 

They’ve had five dates by now: Derek had given him a little present to commemorate the moment, immediately making Spencer feel guilty for doing nothing of the sort, guilt which had quickly been assuaged by a gentle touch to the back of his hand. At first, he hadn’t known what to say. It was an understated necklace, a silver chain with a small triangle pendant on the end of it. He wasn’t a big jewelry person really, but on their first date, Spencer had talked at length about why triangles were his favourite shape (not his proudest moment) but Derek was so thoughtful. He could wear it all the time while easily concealing it at the same time, and it was just the most perfect gift he’d ever received.

He rolls it over in his fingers as he curls up in bed. He was falling in love with Derek, and he had absolutely no proof he was falling in love back; no proof, but he’d seen… something. Even just the present felt like statement enough. Maybe this was going to be it for him. Maybe Derek was going to finally give him the very thing he’d been craving all these years. 

It’s a comforting enough thought to dampen the doubts and fears niggling at him, and it sends him to sleep with the kind of peace in his heart he’d written off as impossible a long time ago. 

⭐️

Go-bags are packed, the case is wrapped up, and the team are saying their goodbyes to local law enforcement when Hotch gets the phone call. 

He’s wearing a mildly irritated frown when he heads back over a few minutes later. “There’s been a problem with the jet,” he informs them, grimacing at their annoyed reactions, “so you can either drive home yourself or wait. Garcia’s re-booking the hotel for the night and I’m informed that the plane should be ready to go by the morning.”

Spencer shoots a look at Derek who immediately understands and nods in return. Columbus, Ohio is a 6/7 hour drive back to DC, and the alone time after being so close but so far for almost a week sounds like heaven. It’s only 4pm: they won’t even get home that late.

“It’s funny, isn’t it?” Spencer muses once they’re on the road, curled up in the driver’s seat with his trusty blanket tucked around him as he admires his sexy boyfriend at the wheel. 

“What do you mean, baby?” he asks, looking over briefly. 

“Well just last week we were talking about taking a road trip together and then Hotch not only gives us the opportunity but also provides the transport,” he says, thumbing the pendant around his neck. It’s become almost a self-soothing thing now: even if it’s usually hidden under his ties at work, just knowing it’s there settles something deep inside him. 

Derek chuckles at that. “I’m not sure I imagined Hotch being quite so involved in our romantic get-away, but yes, it is one hell of a coincidence,” he agrees. “Although mark my words, I will take you on a proper road-trip one day. And I want to take you on a nice holiday, too. Paris, London, Florence. Bali, Thailand, maybe.”

Blush spreading across his cheeks, Spencer smiles over at Derek. “Yeah?” 

“Oh yeah,” Derek grins over at him, “I’m gonna treat my pretty boy like it’s my job.”

“You already do.” He feels shy suddenly, a little overwhelmed at the emotions Derek is eliciting in him right now. 

“Baby,” he says, shaking his head, mischief dancing in his eyes, “you ain’t seen nothing yet.” 

Spencer’s already thinking of counting it as their eighth date, but Derek seals the deal when he pulls off the interstate and onto a much quieter road as they near DC. It’s just gone 10 and the December night is cool and clear, but he still looks quizzically at his boyfriend as the engine shuts off.

“Trust me,” Derek says and gets out of the car. Spencer, of course, trusts Derek implicitly so obediently gets out of the car and joins him at the front of the jeep, leaning against the hood. “Look how beautiful it is.” 

They’re on a country road, surrounded by wheat and barley fields, but Derek’s looking up. The night sky is littered with stars, constellations clear as day against the inky black backdrop of mid-December. “My favourite constellation is probably Cassiopeia, you know,” Spencer explains, barely observing the sky before looking to Derek to impart his knowledge. “She’s one of the only figures banished to the heavenly realm as punishment and not in honour, and it was because she flaunted her beauty too much, and her vanity--”

He’s interrupted by a hand on his forearm. “Spencer,” Derek says softly, catching his attention and slowing his info-dump. “Look up.”

Instead of thinking about all the intellectual and academic aspects of astronomy, astrology, and physics, he takes a good while to just absorb the beauty of the night, probably for the first time in his life. He lets himself rest in that moment, sinking into Derek’s side as they shiver a little in the frigid air, staring at the bright, twinkling lights smiling down at them. 

For some reason, it feels like the universe’s blessing. The stars aligning, the inky sky approving, frozen air applauding. Derek leans over and kisses Spencer, holding his face in both his hands as their insides warm against the cold and in that moment Spencer knows. He still has no proof Derek feels the same way, but with one touch he knows that he’s in love. 

⭐️

Spending Christmas apart is hard, but they make up for it with their eleventh date, Derek driving them over to the National Zoo and listening diligently to Spencer’s info-dumping. They spend the whole afternoon walking through all the exhibits and Derek buys him a pretty steady stream of candy-floss, hot-dogs and cuddly toys throughout their time there, keeping Spencer flushed and happy, completely in his element. 

Derek cooks them dinner at his apartment afterwards, making Spencer’s favourite, a simple spaghetti bolognese with a healthy amount of homemade garlic bread on the side, and they eat at the cosy kitchen table, cheesy candles aflame as they chat easily. 

They get ready for bed in tandem, brushing their teeth together, toothpaste spilling down their chins as they laugh wildly at each other in the mirror. It’s a comfortable sort of ease, a domesticity that feels far too natural for such a youthful relationship. It works though, and neither of them are complaining as they fall asleep folded into each other’s arms. 

Spencer wakes up first but Derek isn’t far behind him, kissing his scrunched up nose almost as soon as he opens his eyes to find Spencer lazily curled up on his chest. “Breakfast?” he asks.

“Please.” 

The toast Derek puts in ends up burning when they get distracted by one another, but Derek just laughs and puts it in the bin and drives them to McDonald’s instead. “I hope you know I’m keeping this shirt,” Spencer teases as they pull on loose sweatpants and trainers and hop into Derek’s car. 

“I wouldn’t expect anything less, baby,” Derek says sincerely. “My entire wardrobe is open for your perusal. Seeing you in my clothes does things to me.”

“I know,” Spencer says, face full of faux innocence. “Why do you think I want to keep them?” 

“You are such a fucking tease,” Derek smirks, shaking his head disapprovingly, “but you know I love it.”

“Mm, I do,” Spencer agrees, reaching across the console and resting a hand on Derek’s thigh. 

“Oh, God, baby, you just wait until we get home.” 

Spencer pulls his hand away, satisfied smile playing across his lips. 

“Brat,” Derek mutters under his breath as they pull into the drive-thru. Spencer just smiles wider. 

Spencer lets his guard down with Derek in a way he’s never done with anybody else and you’d have to be stupid not to notice, so of course Derek is fully aware of the responsibility on his shoulders. Later that morning, after a greasy breakfast, satisfying fuck, and a shared shower, they sprawl across the sofa, nestled into one another comfortably as the TV plays some hallmark movie in the background. 

“My last boyfriend didn’t turn out so nice,” Spencer says when Derek brings up the topic of exes. It brings a heavier note to their light-hearted conversation, but he knows they’ll have to talk about it eventually and it might as well be now. “He got into it because he thought I was innocent and attractive, but when it came to actually spending time together and he found more out about me, he changed his mind.”

“Baby,” Derek murmurs into his hair, “dId he hurt you?” His voice is full of apprehension, afraid of the answer but needing to know. 

“Only once,” Spencer whispers. “I left him after that. But he was kind of emotionally cruel before that and it compounded on a lot of issues I already had from when I was little, you know, with my dad and bullies and everything. It took a long time to rebuild myself, I just…”

He trails off, not knowing how to put what he wants to say into words. 

“Sweetheart, I need you to know that I will never hurt you, not like that,” Derek says earnestly as he catches onto what Spencer’s afraid of deep down, caressing his arm softly. “I can’t promise I won’t make mistakes or accidentally say something wrong, but I will never hurt you like others have done in the past. You’re safe with me, pretty boy. And I am so proud of you for building yourself back up after trauma like that: you are absolutely the strongest person I know, and I don’t say that lightly, yeah?” 

And, yeah. That feels like proof for Spencer.

⭐️

They keep it a secret for as long as possible, but Emily finds out in late March and Rossi follows shortly after. Even once it’s out to everyone, though, they don’t change their work dynamic, they don’t give into any kind of temptation in the field, despite not having to hide anymore. They know the only way they’ll be allowed to stay on the same team is if it doesn’t affect their actions and choices one bit. So even though Derek’s protectiveness is ratcheted up several notches, he swallows it down and doesn’t comment on dangerous situations Spencer goes into. He’s sure Spencer would find that pretty hypocritical anyway; he’s constantly chastising his own recklessness in the field.

Just because Derek bites his tongue at work, though, doesn’t mean he can’t comment on it at home. So after a particularly irresponsible decision Spencer makes in a hostage situation, seriously endangering himself, he holds it in until they step into Derek’s apartment and Spencer looks at him, confused at why he’s clearly stewing in something and not talking about it. 

“What’s going on?” he asks as he toes his shoes off and makes himself at home in the same way he’s done for months now. 

“What’s going on?” Derek repeats incredulously, raising his voice ever so slightly. “You were so fucking rash and reckless today Spencer, you could have died! And you ask me what’s going on? Are you fucking kidding me?” Really it’s fear manifesting itself as anger but right now the rage bubbling up inside him feels almost suffocating. 

“I knew what I was doing,” Spencer says defensively, looking completely bewildered at the sudden outburst. 

“You know that what you were doing was seriously endangering yourself, Spencer,” Derek argues, voice rising even more. “Yes, you saved a hostage today. But you also could have gotten yourself killed, and you have to understand that your life is not worth less than anybody else’s, okay?”

“Derek, I signed up for this life, she didn’t--”

“No,” Derek shouts. “No, don’t give me that. It would fucking crush me to lose you, Spencer, and it seems like you don’t even care about that. Do my feelings even matter to you?”

“What? Of course, they do, Derek,” Spencer says, still looking caught off guard and confused as he tries to figure out the situation and why his boyfriend is so angry. He tries to temper the unpleasant feelings filling his chest cavity, like muscle memory, fingers remembering a piece of sheet music played far too many times. 

“Well then fucking prove it,” Derek yells. “You aren’t listening to me! You endangered yourself and that’s terrifying for me. Your life matters Spencer, and sometimes I feel like it matters more to me than it does to you!”

“Derek, please calm down,” he pleads, wanting to talk about this properly and not feel so ambushed. “You’re scaring me.” 

That immediately catches Derek’s attention and the anger seems to leak out of him like a stopper’s been pulled out, draining him dry for only a moment before fear and guilt fill its place. “Fuck,” he mutters, sitting on the sofa and burying his head in his hands for a second before sitting up and making eye contact with Spencer. “I’m sorry, Spencer, I shouldn’t have yelled. I just… you scared me. You went against protocol today. You know that the FBI does not mandate agents putting themselves at serious risk of death or injury, even if it would save a life. Your life matters so much, to me, to the team, to your mum. People care so much about you, baby, and I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you, okay? You put the fear of God in me earlier and sometimes… sometimes anger is the only way I know how to deal with those emotions.” 

“I know,” Spencer whispers, and though it’s unsaid they both understand he’s acknowledging every part of Derek’s speech. “I’m sorry, too. I didn’t think about how my actions would affect you. I guess I’ve gone so long as a solo act, only having to think about myself and with very little to live for, it’s just taking time to adjust to remembering that I have you and your emotions to consider now. I need you to know, though, that I can’t deal with it when you shout at me like that, if you have a problem I need you to discuss it with me because I can’t figure out what’s going on when there are lots of emotions and raised voices, it confuses and upsets me.”

“I will, Spencer, I promise. I’m so genuinely sorry I handled it so poorly this time.” 

“Thank you,” he whispers gratefully. 

“Come here,” Derek says, the beginnings of a smile playing over his lips. He pulls Spencer into a gentle embrace, relishing the feel of Spencer, alive, pressed against his body. His warm skin, beating heart, soft curls, all shared with him, entrusted to him. 

“Next time I’ll stop and think about you, Derek,” Spencer says softly as he rests his head against his shoulder. “I’ll remember to prioritise us, remember that we can’t save everyone.” 

“Thank you, baby,” Derek says. “And I’ll be more patient; remember that you haven’t had anyone to remind you properly of the worth you have in a long time. We’re good, though, aren’t we?”

“So good,” Spencer confirms, pulling back and smiling properly before kissing Derek softly. He moves down to nose at his neck slightly, pressing a few tender kisses there, too. “Shall we head to bed? You look exhausted.” 

“That sounds like a plan,” Derek agrees before a cheeky smile plays across his features. “As long as you wear one of my shirts again…”

“Oh, what a hardship,” Spencer groans, winking at him in the lop-sided, awkward way he always does. “But I suppose I’ll do anything for you.” 

Spencer stays up for a little while after Derek falls asleep, reading over some casenotes, a few consults, and figuring out a new angle for a research paper he’s working on. Quiet, methodical work -- no matter how gruesome -- helps him wind-down after the high adrenaline of a case and it feels extra necessary tonight after the argument he’d had with Derek. 

He feels his boyfriend stir only a few hours after he’s dropped off to sleep, staring up at Spencer in the soft glow of the pink lamp on the bedside table bought for exactly these sorts of nights. A strange look plays across his face as he reaches for Spencer’s hand and holds it. 

“You’re my best friend, Spencer,” he says, completely serious. “You know that, don’t you?”

Spencer’s done obsessing over proof. 

“Yeah,” he whispers, looking down at their intertwined hands before back at his face, “I love you, too, Derek.” His smile softens even more when he sees Derek’s face relax into a relieved expression, knowing that his meaning was understood. 

“Good,” he whispers, kissing the back of Spencer’s hand before lying his head back down on the pillow. “Night, pretty boy. I love you.”

As Derek drifts back off to sleep, he hears those words echoing around in the silence, a soothing, methodic rhythm of reassurance that what he’s wished for since the very first look on the way to the jet has materialised. 

Knowing it is one thing, but hearing it is another. Derek loves him. He hears it in the silence, feels it on the way home, and when he curls up next to his boyfriend, he can even see it with the lights off. 

[princecharmingmendes]

Brother's Best Friend | Peter Mendes

"Being in love with a close friend isn't always easy, but being in love with your brother's best friend can be a lot harder. So for Peter, the shy one of the triplets, to fall in love with Raul's bestie was almost a nightmare, but probably the sweetest one"

Hello, lovies, I know it hasn't been that long since the last time I posted something around here, but it feels like ages! Well, I wish I could say I'm finally back, but unfortunately things are getting really stressful and busy right now but I decided to write something just because I like doing it so much, and also, @sinceweremutual​ and @itrocksmysocks​ were talking about the triplets I couldn't not do it! So here's a bit of Peter, our soft guy and if you guys like this one I might write something similar for Raul. I'm gonna stop rambling now and just let you guys read, hope you enjoy it as much as I did!

*Word Count: 7.5k+

*Warnings: slight angst, anxiety and panic attack. And maybe a few curse words. 

*Posted: July 7th, 2020.

                                                       -*-

To say Peter Mendes is a shy person is an understatement. He’s the youngest by a few minutes (not that Raul or Shawn mention it as a small difference) of the triplets, and while Shawn was into music and always on the road and Raul had that bad boy vibe that made everyone around him week on the knees for him, he was just the shy soft brother. Sure, he’s gotten better with age and around people that were constantly surrounding him, he still got nervous talking to a beautiful girl, but he could manage it nowadays. But, unfortunately, every rule has an exception, and Y/N was Peter’s.

She grew up with the guys, living just across the street and being only a year younger than them. She also went to the same school, which automatically made her a part of the trio. Y/N was the kind of girl that Peter likes to think that would be everybody’s “type”, and she could easily fit into anybody’s life in any role she pleases. She’s chill and funny, always up to do anything, but also caring and loving, and he swears he’s never seen anybody more beautiful than her. And the fact that she can be really touchy and cuddly with them since they grew up together always drove him mad.

But when she was a bit older, she and Raul became almost inseparable, they had the same interests and were always going out with friends and to parties. Peter hates to admits this to himself, but he couldn’t help but feel a bit jealous. He feels guilty of feeling like this when his brother and Y/N didn’t know how he felt and when they weren’t anything but friends, even though everyone used to say they would be a power couple. What bothered him is that, deep down, he knew no one would ever see them as a power couple cause she was just too much for him, and he wasn’t enough for her.

So, to keep himself sane and preserve the lovely relationship they shared, when he was around fifteen he decided he was going to shove down his little crush on her deep down on his chest. And everything was going on smoothly. Well, that until Shawn and Raul dragged him to a small gathering of friends, promising he was going to have the time of his life, but he didn’t. He was barely enjoying himself, mostly cause Y/N had a guy all over her, when they decided to play some games. So they sat down in a circle and Y/N decided to join, and sat down beside Peter, and as they started truth or dare, someone asked him who was the best kiss he’s ever received and he mumbled he couldn’t answer it cause he never kissed anyone. And he swear, he would never forget what followed after.

Everyone was a bit awkward after that answer, until Y/N leaned forward and grabbed the bottle, making it spin and dared a random dude to take off his shirt. And then everyone forgot about Peter, which he was actually very grateful. He was too embarrassed about being nearly eighteen and had never kissed someone. So he mumbled something about getting a drink and found his way to the porch, to breath a bit. He sat down at the steps that led to the backyard and he clearly remember feeling a bit weird for being there alone and having not the nicest thoughts about himself swimming on his mind, that until he felt a soft hand on his shoulder, squeezing gently.

“Pete, can I sit here with you?” Y/N’s sweet voice made him look up at her, and he nodded without saying a single word, being too afraid to not being able to talk at all.

So she simply sat down beside him and offered him her cup, he silently took it and brought it to his lips, noticing it was only a glass of water and he smiled internally. She doesn’t drink soda. She pressed a soft kiss to his shoulder and stared at the distance, just sitting there silently with him, and he was very grateful about it. She was just perfect and it seemed like she read him like a book. She leaned her head on his shoulder and he held his palm up for her to interlace their fingers, which she did, and they just stood there for a while on a comfortable silence.

“You should go back inside” was all he mumbled after a while.

“I’m not leaning you”

“But what about Brad?”

“Brad’s not my person, you are, and I feel like you could use some company” she said and Peter just hummed not knowing what to say, but Y/N did, she always did “why are you so upset, angel?”

“‘M not”

“Peter Mendes, I know you since we’re three, don’t lie to me, you know I don’t like it” she playfully scolded him and he chuckled.

“It’s just... I’m almost 18 and I never kissed anyone”

“And...?”

“I feel left out, most people done it already and I’m just here, and it’s not that I don’t want to, it’s just... girls don’t want me”

“That’s just bullshit, of course girls want you, come on, you’re so damn handsome, angel” she said squeezing his hand softly, with her chin resting on his shoulder to look up at him, but he just could never hold her gaze, not while having this conversation “and you are so damn sweet, you’re everything a girl wants”

“I just wish I could get over it, I don’t know, just kiss someone and boom, done” and with that she giggled “great, now not even you’ll take me seriously”

“No, no, I take you very seriously, it was just cute, you’re cute”

“‘M not cute” Peter grumbled feeling his face heating up and Y/N swear her heart fluttered at that.

“Yes, you are, now look at me” she demanded, but still using her soft tone, that he likes to think she saves it just for him “come on, babe”

The pet name was new and that was what made him turn to face her and mumble a soft “what?”

“You want to get this over with?” she asked and he nodded, so she smiled softly at him “then let me kiss you”

“What?! I-“

“It’s okay if you don’t want it” she said with a calm expression and her soft smile still on her face, but her heart was beating wildly “just thought that if it’s something that bothers you so much maybe I could help”

“I want it, I do” he said way to fast, making him blush and Y/N giggle softly “It’s just- I don’t know what to do”

“You do, you just don’t know that yet, it’s not rocket science, don’t overthink it” she said leaning in a bit and he held up his breath, starting to take off his glasses but she cupped his face stoping his movements and looking at her with doe eyes, she just sighed and mumbled softly “keep this on for me, baby” before pressing her lips to his softly.

It wasn’t a scandalous kiss or anything, but it was the best kiss he’s ever received on his entire life. She just pressed their lips together firmly but in a sweet way and it still made his lips tingle whenever he remembered that Y/N gave him his first kiss.

After that it was harder to push his feelings down, specially when she fell asleep with her head on his lap, holding one of his hands as the other played with her roses smelling hair. But he did his best, being pretty efficient with it, only Raul noticing it many years later when he literally felt like crying when Y/N went to meet her boyfriend’s family, the first time she ever had a very serious relationship to the point where she met the guy’s parents. Shawn suspected but never had the guts to ask, afraid he would only upset Peter, but Raul did, since they lived together and she was always around them, making it harder for him to hide his love for her.

But what mattered to him is that she was clueless about his feelings for her, which was all he ever wanted, for their friendship to not be ruined. He rather have her as his friend than nothing at all. And he loved being her friend, being able to cuddle with her on his couch and even sometimes in bed, even if it was just a platonic thin. Holding her to his chest till she fell asleep to his steady heartbeat and soft caresses.

That’s why, when he was having almost a mental breakdown and over stressing himself over a test he had the other day and he heard her voice alongside with Raul’s coming from the front door he felt his heart calming down a bit. Her presence making him feel better almost instantaneously even being on another room. He heard her heels clicking against the floor as she got closer to the rooms, and Raul mumbling something that he couldn’t quite get that made her giggle softly. He then heard a soft knock and saw Raul poking his head through the door to see if he was awake or busy.

“Hey, Peter, just wanted to check on you and let you know that Y/N’s here, how are you?”

“I’m fine, just studying, is she going to crash here?”

“Yeah, I thought it was too late to send her home, rather have her here safe and sound” Raul said and Peter nodded.

Even though Raul had a hard exterior, he was a real softie inside, specially towards his family and Y/N.

“You’re right, is she there with you?”

“Yeah, she’s afraid you’re going to kick her out”

“I’d never do that to her”

“Told ya, darling” Raul said turning to what Peter imagines to be her on the hallway “I’m gonna head to bed, kay? You know you’re way around the house, I’d stay up with you, but I’m dead tired, hun”

“It’s okay, Raul, thank you, I’m just going to say hi to Pete and head to bed” he heard she speaking softly.

“Okay, goodnight” Raul said before turning his head back inside Peter’s room “goodnight, champ, try to sleep a bit and Y/N wants to say hi”

“Goodnight, Raul” was all Peter said before his brother left and his best friend peaked in “hi there”

“Hi, I know you’re busy, so I won’t take too much of your time, just wanted to say hi”

“It’s okay, come in” he said and he saw her tiptoeing inside, careful to shut the door softly.

She walked straight to him, pushing the book on his lap to the side, so she could sit there and not destroy his notes, wrapping her arms around his neck and breathing him in “I missed you a bit”

“Yeah?” he asked wrapping his arms around her, trying so hard to keep his tone steady “missed you too, angel, college’s been a bit too hard on you, eh?”

“Yeah, on you too, but you’re too good for this, and God, why are you so comfy, Peter? I could literally just spend my night in here” she said nuzzling her face on his neck.

There was nothing new here. She was always very touchy, specially with Peter since he corresponder her touches so nicely. But whenever they spend too many days apart from each other, they both get very clingy, the difference is that Peter’s still worried sick about his test and it’s still too shy around her to take the initiative. Although he never complains when she’s being a bit too needy, he just enjoys her presence.

“I promise you as soon as I finish my last test tomorrow, we can watch as many movies and cuddle as much as you want”

“Sounds perfect” she mumbled before leaning down to take of her heels and he couldn’t help but notice that the little black dress she was wearing had ridden higher than it should, and he has to look away “I’m going to leave you alone now, but don’t overwork yourself, I’m pretty sure you know more than the teacher himself, you’re my little genius? Aren’t you?”

Her question was pretty inocente, but it made Peter swallow down hard as he answered with a short “yes”

“Great, goodnight, angel” she smiled at him and pressed a light kiss to his cheek “see you in the morning” she got off his lap and grabbed her stuff as he replied softly.

But before she left, she looked back at him and to shoot him a little wink, closing the door behind herself as she shuffled to Shawn’s/ guest room.

Great, now he’s stressed and want to grab her gorgeous face and smash her lips with his.

                                                      -*-

Some time into the night, Y/N was restless cause she’s done her last test in the morning and slept all afternoon before Raul picked her up to go out with him for a few drinks. She was bored of looking through social media and rolling from side to side on the bed, and since she was comfortable enough with the guys to just go to the kitchen and grab a glass of water or maybe, if she was lucky, Peter baked muffins like he did every Friday and then steal one for her. So when she was about to head to the kitchen, she saw that Peter’s light was still on at 1AM she got worried and hesitantly walked to his room, wearing just his hoodie as a sleep atire. She knocked softly and there was no response, which almost made her take a step back and go mind her own business, until she heard a little sob.

That was all it took for her to softly open the door and slip in to check on the soft boy that was always on her mind and heart. He was laying on the floor, with his feet up the bed and an arm over his eyes, trying to hold back his sniffles and hiccups, and he didn’t even noticed her presence. She took in the way he was on the verge of a panic attack and the room was a mess. So she softly padded to him and kneeled beside him, which startled him and he sat right up trying to dry his face as best as he could.

“Shh, it’s okay, baby, I’m here now” she said cupping his face softly and he leaned in, pulling her right to his chest, trying to use her as a way to ground himself.

They don’t know how much time it took him to collect himself and breath again normally, still letting out a few hiccups and sniffles, but that didn’t stop her from cooing at him softly and scratch at his scalp just the way he liked. They stood there just holding onto each other in silence as he calmed down a bit more, until Peter was leaning away to face her. She started caressing his cheek softly.

“I’m sorry”

“Shh, don’t, it’s fine, you didn’t do anything wrong, baby, why don’t you go to your bathroom and take a warm shower, huh? I’ll make you some tea while you’re in there, okay?” Y/N asked searching his eyes and he nodded, sighing softly “good, baby, now go”

She got up and offered her hands to him, and he took it getting up, heading straight to the bathroom. Y/N ran around the room to put all his notes and books away neatly, getting his bed ready for him to lay and to be cozy. Then she went to the kitchen and made him a calming tea, when she got back, she heard him sobbing inside the bathroom and placed his tea on the first place she could, knocking on the bathroom door.

“Pete? It’s me, baby, open up for me” she tried as softly as she could, trying to hide her panic away as best as she could “please, baby, just want to hold you”

And then she heard a little click, which meant the door was now unlocked, and she just pushed it open as soon as she was able. He was sitting beside the door, looking completely lost and seeming to not being able to breath properly. So Y/N kneeled down again and cupped his face softly.

“Hey, Peter, it’s okay, everything’s fine, I’m here with you, baby, and I’m not leaving you again, okay?” she asked caressing his face softly and she believes she saw him nodding very subtly, his eyes wide “okay, breath with me, angel, yeah?” she offered exaggerating her motions on purpose, so he could follow it easily, and he did “that’s it, you’re doing so good, baby, so good for me”

They kept on with that for a while, until she saw him shivering from the cold tiles on the bathroom wall “you should go to bed” was he managed to say.

“Don’t worry about me, I wasn’t asleep anyway” she gave him a soft smile, placing a kiss on his forehead “let’s get you to change into something and go to bed, okay?”

She knew he showered for the amazing smell on his bathroom and the foggy mirror. So Y/N helped him stand on his own pace, giving him a boxer and sweatpants so he could change, turning around for some privacy, until she felt him leaning into her and tugging her closer. She coaxed him into drinking a bit of the tea to calm him down a bit and convinced him to lay down on his mattress, tucking him in.

“You should get back into bed”

“I’m not leaving you, Pete, do you want me to sleep here? I can bring the pillows and sleep on the floor to give you some spa-“

“No, sleep with me on the bed” he cut her off a lot more confident than he was before, but since he was still Peter, he added a soft ‘please’ in the end.

“Of course” she said before plopping down beside him as he pulled her to his chest.

They’ve been here before, through the whole thing. And she was always the best medicine to calm him down, it was just her soft touches and little encouragements that kept him going. He felt a little helpless for needing her so much and tears started prickling in his eyes all over again, but before he could go through the whole process again, she cupped his cheek and leaned in, their lips barely touching and he felt the air leaving his lungs for a very different reason. His gaze fell to her rosy lips as she kept on staring at his eyes to see if something changed on his mindset.

“I want to try something” it was barely above a whisper but he heard her clearly “I’ve read somewhere it helps to keep your mind a away and clear your thoughts so... can I kiss you, Pete?” she added softly and all he could do was nod.

She then brought her lips to his in a tender and sweet kiss, making their eyes flutter shut as she kept on rubbing soft circles on his cheek with her thumb. And it was just like his first kiss over again. Her soft lips pressing into his, butterflies having a wild party on his stomach, and fireworks everywhere, and suddenly, she was all he could think about and all he could sense, so he pushed his shy side a bit and brought her closer, kissing her more surely and more firmly. But after a short while, she pulled back for air, but not before placing a quick peck on his pouting lips.

“It works” was all he mumbled and she let out a soft giggle and he hummed in response, felling a bit airy.

“Good to know” she said pushing his curls back “I love you too much to see you hurting, baby”

“I love you too” was his response and she smiled at him as they fell into an easy conversation.

And he suddenly felt exhausted, letting out a long yawn and she gave him a knowing look.

“I know, I guess I should sleep”

“You do” she said playing with his wild curls “and so do I”

“Mhmm” was all he said “about-“

“Shh, we’ll talk in the morning, huh, after class” he noticed how she avoided the test thing and he was grateful, pressing a kiss to her forehead and laying on her chest as she kept on petting his hair.

“Goodnight, angel”

“Night, Peter” she answered and he blacked out, exhaustion due to the events taking over his body.

                                                      -*-

Waking up was a bit harder than usual, but still, easier than he expected. After last night’s events he was worried he wouldn’t be able to get up, but he did anyway. And he was still feeling a bit insecure, but somehow Y/N managed to get in his head and make him feel like maybe he was capable of doing this test. Speaking of Y/N, Peter felt incredibly warm waking up wrapped up in her, with her smell clouding his senses a bit and that was what made him get up a little bit more excited than usual. His lips still tingled from the simple kiss she gave him last night and he had a stupid grin plastered on his face

He carefully pealed himself from her grasp and managed to make her cuddle to his pillow instead, so he went to the kitchen to grab some coffee and came back with his mug as silently as he could to change. He thought he was doing pretty well when he was buttoning up his jeans, still shirtless when he heard a faint sigh, making him turn around immediately, only to find Y/N smiling sleepily at him wrapped in his blanket. She knuckled at her eyes and outstretched a hand for him to take, and he did it automatically, stepping closer to her like a magnet. She held his hand and place on the back of it a sweet kiss before lacing their fingers

“Just a good luck kiss” she mumbled with a heavy sleep voice and he couldn’t hold back a little chuckle.

“Thank you” Peter replied, sitting at the edge of the bed beside her, running his free hand through his hair, watching her eyes flutter shut “go back to sleep, angel, it’s too early and you’re free to sleep in”

“I will, I just wanted to say good morning first and wish you good luck”

And with that, Peter’s smile could light up the whole building as his heart swelled twice as big “well, good morning” he said leaning in to press a kiss on her forehead “I gotta go, but I’ll come back for lunch, okay?”

“Mhmm” she murmured as she wrapped her fingers on the necklace around his neck, holing him closer to her, pressing a kiss on the corner of his mouth and looking up at him with big doe eyes “good luck, Pete”

He nodded at her, unable to form a proper sentence as his heart stammered on his chest. He got up and reached for his stuff to leave, but before he could, he heard Y/N calling for him with a little giggle, so he turned around looking at her, silently asking her what’s wrong.

“I know your hot, Pete, but I’d rather have this view all to myself, even though it’s selfish, but do you mind putting on a shirt before leaving?” she asked between little giggles and he blushed, grabbing the first hoodie he saw to throw over his head as he mumbled a quick “sorry” and leaving the room.

When he clicked the door closed, he heard her mumbling something and still giggling a bit, making a smile appear on his face as he left for the test.

                                                      -*-

Peter left the test with his chest finally feeling light, he felt happy and finally free from the stress that was consuming him. Eager to go back home and find his girl, even though she has no idea of it, still laying lazily on his bed or maybe cooking lunch with Raul, cause the dude couldn’t even boil water. He just wanted to kiss her face and thank her for calming him down for the night and the test, he was just so damn happy. He opened the door to his apartment, only to hear noises coming from the kitchen and music playing softly at the background. And he swear he’s not the type to eavesdrop, but when he hear Raul saying his name he couldn’t help it.

“So you kissed Peter? Out of nowhere?! Wasn’t that a bad idea? With the whole situation you got with him and feelings?” Raul asked and Peter started panicking, did she know he liked her? Or fell for her?!

“I mean, maybe” Peter could literally see her shrugging “but I-, he was just-, I was scared, okay? I’ve never seen him like that before! You would’ve done the same if you were on my shoes, hell, you were the one who told about kissing helps when you’re spiraling, you read the damn article!”

“I know, I just didn’t expect you to do it, specially with him!”

“Why wouldn’t I do it? Raul, seeing him like that broke me, I love Peter with my whole heart, I-, I just wanted to help him, that’s my job as his friend, and if kissing him helps, than I’d do it again”

“Sorry, I-, I just got worried this would make things weird” Raul sighed.

“Of course not, at least it didn’t seem like it did, he’s my best friend, Raul, there are no romantic feelings involved”

“Sure... Shawn’s coming home in a week”

“Oh that’s awesome, I miss him”

“Of course you do, you miss everyone but me”

“Oh, shut up, Raul”

And that was harder to listen than to have a knife in your heart. Peter couldn’t help dropping his backpack to the floor still a bit numb with the whole conversation. Which made Y/N come out of the kitchen, still in his hoodie, holding a pan.

“Oh, great, you’re home!” Y/N greeted him cheerfully and he just gave her a small smile.

“Is it Peter?” Raul called from the kitchen.

“Yeah” she came closer to him with a smile on her face “how was the test, Pete?”

It took him a while to respond, his heart feeling heavy “It was fine”

“Was it really? You seem a bit off” she said gently pressing a delicate hand to his forehead to check his temperature “are you feeling okay?”

“Hey, Peter, Shawn called to say he’s coming home for a few days” Raul finally came into view but quickly a frown formed on his face “what’s wrong? are you feeling sick?”

“I’m fine, guys” Peter said leaning away from Y/N’s hand and he saw a bit of hurt grace her features, but it quickly faded “just a bit tired, that’s all, the test went great, Y/N, thank you, I’m just going to lay down for a while, okay?”

He felt bad seeing a little pout forming on her lips, guilt almost, he didn’t have a good reason to push her away. It was not her fault he felt miserable, she didn’t lead him to anything, she was just being her caring and completely oblivious self. It wasn’t fair but Peter couldn’t help it.

“Okay, hmm we’re doing your favorite dish to cheer you up a bit, I’ll call you when it’s done, okay?” she asked taking a step back and he nodded.

“Thanks” was all he said before getting his stuff and going to his room.

He laid down on his bed, still smelling her perfume on his sheets, but decided to ignore and let the sleepiness that was already there take him to dreamland. He didn’t even noticed that time went by until he felt someone lightly shaking his shoulder and he opened his eyes, only to be met with his brother.

“Hey, Peter, lunch is ready”

“Oh sorry, didn’t notice I fell asleep”

“It’s okay, hmm-, are you really just tired?”

“Yeah, just tired”

“So there’s nothing to do with the fact that you listened to me and Y/N talking about yesterday?”

“How did you-?”

“I saw you standing there after a few seconds into the conversation, but she didn’t”

“Oh... yeah, sorry”

“It’s okay, but if it made you feel this miserable to push her away not so subtly to the point where she’s literally beating herself up for thinking she did something wrong, just maybe you should talk to her”

“And tell her what? That I love her? She would laugh at me”

“Oh, Peter, this is Y/N we’re talking about, she’d never laugh at you, she loves you endlessly, and when everything thought you were weird for never kissing anyone, she called out everyone for being ridiculous and ran after you and even kissed you”

“I know, it’s just hard”

“I know, but try talking to her, you’d be surprised”

“Okay”

“Let’s go eat, she really outdid herself, trying to impress you”

“Oh”

“Yeah, now come on, Peter” Raul said patting his shoulder and Peter was grateful, he know Raul’s not the most sensitive guy on the outside, but he’s thankful that he’s always trying his best to understand Peter’s pout of view.

They went to the kitchen, only to find the table set beautifully with a really amazing smelling pasta on the center. Y/N was just coming back with a bottle of whine and a few glasses.

“Oh, hi” she offered him her softest smile “are you feeling a bit better?”

“Yeah, thank you” was all he answered and she nodded.

They ate in a bit of an awkward silence, with Raul and Y/N sometimes trying to make conversation but Peter was just too much in his head, so they didn’t pressure him, instead, just keeping it quiet so he would have space. After lunch they took the stuff back to the kitchen and she started with the dishes as Peter helped her, but Raul had to leave to pick up his phone, leaving them both alone.

“So...”

“I’m-, I think we need to talk” Peter sighed and she bit her lower lip nodding.

“Sure, I just have somethings to do cause I thought you would want some space, but I can come back as soon as I’m done”

“Oh, okay, is it like soon?”

“Ah bit, Brad’s in town and he called when you were asleep cause he needed someone to talk to, and I told him I’d be free after lunch”

“Oh, sorry, didn’t know you were close friends”

“We’re not that close” she answered finishing up washing as Peter dried.

“You used to be”

“Not really”

“Weren’t you two like a thing?”

“Kind of, nothing serious though, but that was back in high school”

“Didn’t know you still talked to him, that’s all, sorry”

“No need to apologize, I was a bit surprised, but apparently he just needs a friend right now”

“Yeah, he’s lucky to have you” he replied finally looking up at her and she just shrugged.

“I’ll come back soon, okay? Right now I need to go and change to meet him”

“Okay”

“Bye, Peter” she said walking away already ready to leave, and even though he wanted to ask her to stay, he wouldn’t be selfish, so he let her go one more time, and hopefully the last one.

                                                      -*-

Later that day, Raul left to meet up with some friends and Peter was losing hope that Y/N was actually going to come back to talk, it was almost 7PM when he heard a knock on the front door. He spent the whole day doing nothing, waiting for her so that they could talk and feeling a bit nervous, but when he opened the door he calmed down a bit. She had a backpack on her shoulder and was rocking sweatpants and a T-shirt. Peter let her in and she got in, so he took her stuff to his bedroom as she sat down on the living room waiting for him, with her shoes already beside the couch, she hated wearing them at home.

“How were things with Brad?”

“He’s better now, he got into a huge fight with his sister because of his girlfriend and he was a little lost on what to do” Y/N answered as they sat side to side awkwardly on the couch.

“Oh, family drama, I feel bad for him”

“Yeah, me too, but let’s forget about him, huh? How are you?”

“Me? I’m fine”

“Pete-, you didn’t seem fine and I’m really sorry about the kiss, maybe it was a bad timing and I shouldn’t have done it, I didn’t want thinks to get weird, I know we’re just friends, and I don’t know if it was it or something else that threw you off, I’m just so sorry, I hate when you’re mad or upset with me, and-“

“Hey hey, no, stop” Peter cut her off as he gently cupped her face “it’s not your fault, you didn’t do anything wrong, you’re fantastic and helped me so much yesterday, I’m the one who shouldn’t have snapped at you for no reason, and I’m sorry”

“But I-“

“Not your fault, I’m not mad or upset at you, only at myself if I’m honest”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, one hundred percent”

“So we’re fine?”

“Perfectly fine”

“Oh, thank God” Y/N said throwing her arms around his neck and pulling him in for hug, which took him a bit by surprise, but he quickly wrapped his arms around her waist “I was so worried about you all day, couldn’t focus on anything else”

“I’m sorry” he mumbled into her hair.

“No, shush, it’s okay, want to order some pizza and watch a movie? I don’t have anything tomorrow, so I don’t have time to head home”

“Or you could just spend the night here”

“Again? Aren’t you tired of me yet?”

“That’ll never happen”

“I can be pretty annoying, Peter” she said letting go of him so sit back on her knees.

“That’s not true, you’re perfect”

“And you’re too sweet for your own good” she said bopping  his nose which made him chuckle.

“So that means you’ll stay?”

“Only if I pay for the pizza, is only fair”

“But you made lunch!”

“Raul helped me and it was with the stuff on your kitchen”

“Come on, let me make it up to you by buying you some pizza”

“Nope, you don’t have to make up to me, we’re fine, remember?”

“Yeah, fine”

“Good, now pick a movie” she said before grabbing her phone to order in.

Peter turned on the TV and Raul’s words kept swimming on his thoughts as he rummaged  through the options, choosing a particular romcom Y/N liked very much automatically. She then finished the order and locked her phone, hugging her legs close to her chest as she looked up at the tv, but he robotically held her ankle and placed her feet on his lap. And this is exactly why he ignored many opportunities they had throughout their years of friendship to tell her how much he loved her. He didn’t want this to change, this comfortable and familiar, almost domestic routine they had whenever they’re together. He’d rather never have her as anything other than a friend than losing her.

But something about Raul telling him to talk to her, encouraging him to profess his feelings set him off. Raul is never the one to tell someone to just talk feelings without a reason, he’d never directly tell someone how they should live their lives, that’s just Raul. He said it like this was going to be for the best, but Peter just didn’t see how this could be better than what they had. It didn’t make sense. So that’s why he was most likely going to let this opportunity sleep from his fingers one more time, but what he wasn’t counting on was Y/N, being the little observant thing she was noticing there was still something bothering him. So when she confronted him about it, it took him by surprise.

“Why are you lying to me?” she asked out of the blue, making him turn his face to her, only to notice she’d been staring at him the whole time.

“What?!”

“Peter, I know you like the back of my hand, what on earth is going on? You know you can tell me anything”

“I wish I could” he mumbled under his breath but she heard it nonetheless.

“No, no, no, you know you can, come on, it’s just me” she said pulling her feet away from his lap and kneeling beside him on the couch, sitting down on her knees “talk to me, Peter, what’s bothering you?”

And he had to close his eyes for a second and take a deep breath. She noticed he was struggling and placed her hand delicately on his shoulder, squeezing it softly, and starting to rub soothing circles.

“It’s just about what you were talking to Raul when I arrived”

“About Shawn? You know you don’t have to be jealous, I know he doesn’t like to share cuddles, but we can manage it, I didn’t know it bothered you that much”

“It’s not that, well, I didn’t see it that way, but now I do and it’s not great, don’t like to share your cuddles either”

“Then what is- oh!” he could literally see the puzzles fitting on her pretty little head “oh, God, I’m so sorry, I never meant it to be awkward, that’s why I never brought it up”

“So you knew all along?”

“Yeah, for years now”

“And you didn’t- you didn’t push me away?”

“Of course not, that would only hurt us even more, it was already a sensitive topic for me”

And with that he felt a bit better that if she didn’t push him away knowing it all the time, then she wouldn’t now. But at the same time it hurt, that she knew and acted normally, being her touchy self even though knowing he was in love with her. It was a soft way of rejecting him, and it could be worse, but still hurt.

“Yeah, I can understand why”

“Is that why you pushed me away? I know it was a bit to take in, but I didn’t want things to change” she said and he’s not sure he got it.

“Well yeah, it’s not nice hearing that”

“Oh” he could literally see the tears forming on Y/N’s eyes and he suddenly wanted to punch himself to make her sad.

“Shit, don’t cry, angel, it’s okay now, we’re okay, yeah?” he said cupping her face gently and catching the first tear before it could go very far “you’re not going to change our dynamics, we’re happy like this, right?”

“Mhmm” was all she mumbled between a few sobs, a way to hold back her urge to cry and if Peter was confused before, this was all getting worse.

“Why are you crying, hun? I’m the one who should be sad”

“How is that? I don’t get it, Pete, is it that bad that I’m in love with you?” she said it with a little whimper and his heart stopped. Literally stopped.

He just sat there with wide eyes as confusion mixtures with sadness on her eyes. She wrapped her fingers gently around his wrist and took his hands away from her face.

“I’m sorry for saying it out loud” she managed to get out “I think I should go” but before she could slip off the couch, Peter grabbed her hand “it’s okay, Peter, I’ll be fine”

“No, wait, you got it all wrong”

“I’m pretty sure I didn’t, you said it’s not nice hearing that I like you, so yeah, that hurts”

“What?! No! Baby, please let me explain, please” and even though she was hurting, she could never say no to him, so she just sighed and sat back down.

“Alright”

“Thank you” he said taking a deep breath “I was trying to tell you that I was feeling a bit down today because I heard your talk with Raul, and I’m sorry about that, I know that’s wrong, it’s just when I heard my name I couldn’t help it”

“It’s okay” she whispered trying to stop the tears from falling.

“No, it’s not, ‘cause it caused us all this mess and I made you cry ‘cause I can’t seem to simply tell you, for years now, that I’m so in love with you it hurts, and it was awful, hearing from you that you kissed me and that’s just because we’re friends”

“You what?!”

“I know, I’m sorry, I should’ve told you sooner”

“Oh no, Pete, you got it all wrong, I was trying to convince myself that we’re just friends, because I was so sure you didn’t like me like that” Y/N said rubbing her face with her palms to get the tears dried “we’re so damn stupid”

“I can’t believe you fell for me” Peter said trying to hold back a boyish grin from blossoming on his lips “you’re too good for me”

“Shut up, you’re perfect, it was hard not to fall for you” she said and Peter just pulled her into a tight hug “it was always you, Pete”

With that, he kept her tight in his arms as if he didn’t believe this was all real and that he wasn’t going to wake up from this dream. She didn’t seem to mind, not making any effort to pull away, just buried herself deeper in his embrace. But after a while, she pulled away just bit, cupping his face gently as his hands found home on her waist.

“What?” was Peter mumbled.

“Nothing, I- what’s going on on that pretty head of yours?” she gently asked, pushing his curls back softly only to start playing with them.

“I just can’t believe this is real and that this isn’t a dream”

“I hope it’s real, and if it’s a dream, I really don’t want to wake up” she answered and leaned her forehead on his.

Peter’s breath got caught on his throat, and before he could say a word, she leaned in completely pressing her lips to his tentatively making his mind go blank. But before she could pull back and completely regret her impulsive decision, one of his hands trailed up to the back of her neck to keep her head in place as he kissed her back. It was a sweet and gentle kiss, as if to make sure this was really happening. However, when he pulled her a bit closer and she let out a little whimper, they were both gone.

He swiped his tongue on her bottom lip and she quickly opened her mouth to him, automatically deepening the kiss and letting all those butterflies lose. And even thought this was more urgent, it was still Y/N’s Peter, só he was gentle and respectful all the time, hesitantly moving his hands and constantly looking for her consent in the subtlest gestures. Unfortunately they needed air, so they had to pull back eventually, but she kept mere inches apart, with their breaths mixing a bit and they both couldn’t help a huge smile appearing on their features.

“I guess this felt too real to be a part of my imagination” he said lowly as Y/N chuckled.

“Yeah, even though I have thought about our first kiss few too many times to be honest”

“Really?!”

“Of course, I always had a crush on you”

“Even back then?!”

“Sure, kissing you just worsened it, I was crazy about you, Raul wanted to tape my mouth”

“Why?”

“Cause he couldn’t stand me just gushing about his baby bro and not acting on it”

“Yeah, he did the same to me for years”

“He’s a little shit”

“He really is... was I bad?”

“What?”

“Back then, the kiss... was it bad?”

“Oh, Pete” Y/N giggled “of course not, if it was, I wouldn’t be dreaming about kissing you again, silly”

“You have?”

“Yes”

“Well, now you can... you know, it you wan-“ Peter was cut off by her lips colliding with his one more time, this time a bit more urgent and less innocent.

Well, to say Peter was finally happy was and understatement, he was over the moon.

                                                       -*-

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*xoxo

-🌙