#but yeah ten years in september

[artemismatchalatte]

Just in case anyone was wondering, I was bringing back a lot of old posts from my archive for two reasons. 

I was inspired by a post about saying how old posts never completely die. I’ve had this account since 2013 so I have followed a lot of pages that are gone now. Many of my earlier reblogs are from blogs that no longer exist on tumblr but did exist in the early to mid 2010s. Some of their posts were cool or are still relevant today (in my opinion) so I’m reblogging those posts to revive some of them. 

The 2nd reason was to celebrate my upcoming tenth tumblr anniversary. I joined in September 2013, a little after I turned 20. So for better or worse, I spent my entire twenties as a tumblr girl. And I’ll probably be here for the forseeable future. 

Now I’m more of a gay bookblr/writeblr/gradschoolblr with some random posting. I used to be more random/fandom in the earlier 2010s. I think I had about the same amount of LGBT content, possibly more in the past from reblogging. I’m going to try to do more original content in the future. But until then, enjoy some more 2010s and 2020s shit posting. XD

Thank you everyone who has supported my blog in the past and continues to do so into the future. <3

[monty-glasses-roxy]

Witch animatronics das Michael afton possessed?

A lot of people saying glamrocks freddy and that the most likely choice.

But I think he might possesses glamrocks foxy eather the pairt foxy or the cowboy foxy idk witch one yet. sinch in fnaf 4 he foxy bro. It also make more sense if he was glamrock foxy sinch he dasent appeared in the game.

In my stuff? No one. I'm beyond bored of the old stuff. It's been going on for long enough and in my mind, I've put it to rest. It's a puzzle that's never meant to be solved and I've got no interest in it anymore.

I don't know who's who out of the fnaf 4 bullies. I know there's a Bonnie mask in Princess Quest 4, and while that's interesting as a 'Cassie's dad is the bully wearing the Bonnie mask' it doesn't really... change much...? I don't think...?

If Mike is possessing Foxy, then RIP that guy he's probably in Robo Hell right now lmao. I've mostly heard the theory that Mike is Glam Freddy which makes zero sense to me, and honestly, the whole idea of him even still being around makes no sense to me either. Have you seen the ones about Roxy being possessed by Mike instead?

I think it'd be neat if he were in Chica or someone. Would explain the eating thing as a whole 'I'm human so I need to eat but my body is no longer human so it breaks me every time' kinda tragedy thing.

The only thing I think is actually possessed in SB is Tangle. I think that's an amalgamation of all of the Mimic's victims, with no full body to possess, having to make do with wires and masks. Each face chosen to represent another body, but there's more bodies than faces now. They make do with what they have, forever searching for their killer, but forever afraid they'll find it...

Oh and of course, the Staffbots. My theory is that the after hours party was part of the Staffbot project to get more advanced, more efficient worker drones. There's some clues in the games to lead to that conclusion and I think that's got some really interesting implications to it. It's also horrific. Awful. Hundreds, if not thousands, trapped in metal bodies that don't belong to them, forced to constantly work with their only respite being a momentary restart, the equivalent of a minute long blink... Awful! Very interesting concept! Very fun!

But yeah I don't know what Mike's doing. I tend to forget he exists now lmao I'm sure he'd do a much better job than Freddy if he was in SB though. Not like it's hard lmao

I appreciate your Mike Foxy idea! I like that! Definitely better than the Glam Freddy Mike situation! You think Mike is gonna go through all that shit in life trying to clean up his dad's bloody mess and then just leave Gregory to his own devices when he's in mortal danger constantly? Absolutely not! Glam Foxy makes much more sense! Unfortunate he's probably in Sewerhell now, but that's an interesting place to put him! He might like it there you never know!

[jjungkookislife]

Navigating Tides

♡ pairing: ex-boyfriend!jungkook x f. reader

♡ genre: exes to lovers, angst, fluff, smut [18+]

♡ summary: A cruise is the last place you expect to see your ex-boyfriend, Jeon Jungkook. You broke up six months ago, and your best friends Jimin and Yoongi assured you your ex wouldn't even remember this cruise that you booked a year in advance. However, on your first night on board, you discover your ex isn't only on the cruise ship, but there are no rooms available for him to stay in other than yours.

♡ wc: 18.9k

♡ warnings: alcohol use/mention, food mentions, mention of murder on cruise ship documentaries, threats of violence, sexual thoughts, jealousy, making out, marking (hickeys, biting, scratching), hair pulling, oral sex (f. giving and receiving), fingering (f. receiving), unprotected sex, creampie

♡ a/n: a huge thank you to the anon who suggested the title ❤

♡ date: September 1, 2024

“Jimin, I don’t think this is a good idea,” you sigh heavily as you adjust your sunhat. Your large sunglasses keep the sun out of your eyes and make it easier to take in your surroundings.

Passengers stand around you, some checking their tickets, others counting their luggage, and your best friend scoping out your next boyfriend while he checks his phone for messages regarding his beloved cat, Moon.

“Come on! You bought the ticket in advance! You know Jungkook isn’t going to show. You broke up six months ago, he wouldn’t come on this cruise if you paid him!” Jimin exclaims trying (and failing) to ease your worries. 

“He’s right,” Yoongi chimes in once he gets a photo of his cat from his parents. “Jungkook wouldn’t leave his office to come on a cruise his ex and best friends booked a year in advance. He probably doesn’t even remember it.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” you give in as the line moves forward. You pull your luggage beside you. “There’s no way he’d be here.”

Jimin nods as Yoongi moves their luggage. You stand in line with your ticket and passport in hand as Jimin rattles on about all the things he wants to do for the next seven days out on the ocean. You half-listen, looking around at the passengers,  hoping for a relaxing time. 

“We’re a few doors down,” Jimin continues, “but we’ll come get you for all our meals and we can figure out what to do that day. There’s a casino and a karaoke night.”

You nod, smiling as the line moves again. The breeze ruffles your hair beneath your hat and you close your eyes momentarily. 

A vacation was just what you needed.

Jeon Jungkook is a strong man. He’s got a lean body and hands that could rip open a pineapple with ease. He normally doesn’t demonstrate his great strength, but the women are eating it up at the bar closest to the dock. 

His assistant had reminded him about his vacation last week. A cruise, she had informed him as she showed him the next ten days blocked off his calendar. 

Jungkook had denied taking the time off but his assistant had insisted he go. When he tried to protest again, the assistant threatened to call his mother. 

Jungkook took a bite of the pineapple before throwing a handful of bills on the bar. 

“Gotta go!” He yelled over the ruckus he had caused and grabbed his suitcase with his sticky hands. The women were sad to see him go, but Jungkook had minutes before the cruise ship left the dock. 

“Welcome,” Jungkook is greeted before his ticket and passport are checked. He was directed to his floor but Jungkook headed straight for the bar, where more passengers were gathered to get their vacation started.

By the time you get to your room, you’re pleased to see your luggage waiting for you. You head to the balcony, admiring the view as the ship pulls away from the dock. 

You take a few minutes to fix your makeup and grab your sunblock before shoving your suitcase under your bed. Yoongi had insisted you cram everything into one large suitcase and he’d bring an extra one for souvenirs. Jimin had allowed you to sneak some more outfits into his luggage since Yoongi knew better than to try to limit his clothing options.

“That should do it,” you say to yourself as you head out of the cabin, just to spot Yoongi and Jimin heading your way.

“Let’s get something to eat and hit the pool,” Jimin grins as he takes your hand and Yoongi’s in the other.

Meanwhile, Jungkook has finished his drink at the bar and heads toward his cabin. 

He’s glad to see his suitcase has been delivered and he slides it under the bed easily. He takes his room key and heads back out to see what there’s to do on this cruise.

He wishes he had paid more attention to the details when you had booked it.

Yoongi is soaking wet, shaking his long black hair, making you and Jimin scream. He laughs, his gummy smile makes Jimin melt.

“You’re drying yourself off like a dog,” you comment as he sits in the chair with Jimin. 

Yoongi shrugs, leaning forward to take a large bite of the watermelon slice Jimin holds out for him. 

Jimin had slathered the three of you in sunblock, lecturing on the dangers of the UV rays and whatnot. You knew better than to ignore his advice, seeing as he was a dermatologist and Yoongi was a plastic surgeon.

“Are either of you going to get in the pool?” Yoongi asks as he cards his fingers through his wet hair. Jimin bites his bottom lip as he watches Yoongi with a look that’s all too familiar.

“Don’t you dare!” You swat at Jimin with your book. The couple laughs.

“You promised I wouldn’t be a third-wheel,” you remind them.

Yoongi nods. “We promised.”

Jimin nods. “Of course, we’re just teasing.”

“More like setting up foreplay,” you mutter but they ignore you as Jimin hands you a slice of watermelon and a cube of pineapple. The two of you were waiting for this evening’s dinner to have drinks, though the cocktails of the passengers around you looked delicious.

“Since we’re on vacation, are you gonna be seeking a dance partner?” Jimin asks wiggling his eyebrows.

“You know, for the horizontal hula?” Yoongi smirks, earning a swat to his arm.

“No! I’m here to relax!” you insist as you open your book. You clasp your kitten bookmark before it can slip out of the worn pages. 

Jimin sighs dramatically as he falls over onto your chair. “Come on! You don’t have to marry anyone, just flirt.”

“Min,” Yoongi warns, noting the shift in your posture. 

Jimin mimes zipping his lips as he sits up. 

“I just worry about you.”

“There’s no need, Minnie. If it happens, it happens, okay?” you ask as you close your book once more, giving up on getting any reading done.

Yoongi places his hand on Jimin’s shoulder, tugging him to their chair. Jimin goes easily, placated for the moment.

You steal a grape from Jimin’s plate before lying back on the chair with your hat covering your face.

Jimin smiles as he grabs his book and lies back to read, his fruit plate long forgotten. 

As Yoongi reaches for a grape, his eyes catch a familiar tattoo sleeve but when he blinks, it’s gone.

Must have been the heat playing tricks on him.

Dinner had been a blast.

Yoongi and Jimin had gotten every cocktail that you had eyes on earlier in the day. You danced, laughed, and forgot all about Jungkook.

“We’ll see you in the morning,” Jimin said as he walked you to your cabin. Yoongi waited out in the hall outside of theirs’ to make sure Jimin was in his eyesight. He’d seen too many documentaries on shit going sideways on cruises to leave either of you unsupervised.

“Goodnight, Minnie. Love you,” you hug him tight before he leaves you with a kiss to your temple.

Once he’s gone, you kick your shoes off in your cabin. It’s just as you left it. 

You let your hair down as you begin to unbutton your blue dress, allowing the thin straps to fall off your shoulders.

You’re startled when the bathroom door swings open, steam flooding out of it, obscuring whoever is there.

You scream!

The steam clears and out walks a man with a colorful tattoo sleeve on one arm, his other hand holding the white towel around his waist.

His doe eyes widen as he spots you.

“What are you doing here?!” you shout at the same time. “Me?! YOU?! Stop that!”

You both stomp a foot at the same time. 

Water runs down your ex’s sculpted chest and abs—you can’t help but stare. You remember tracing those delicious abs with your tongue, ending up on your knees with his cock down your throat.

A shiver rolls down your back.

“What are you doing here, Jungkook?” you huff, stomping your foot. You hope your next-door neighbors don’t complain about the noise.

“I’m on vacation,” he answers in a duh tone.

“In my cabin?” 

“I didn’t know you were going to be here! We haven’t talked since…” Jungkook trails off, sighing heavily. He feels the knots in his throat, the ache of holding back tears.

“You never take vacations. Why did you come?” you demand answers as you cross your arms over your chest, eyes widening when you realize your bra-clad tits are exposed. You immediately turn around, fixing your dress before facing him once again.

Jungkook rubs his nape awkwardly. He grabs the robe from the bathroom and puts it on.

“I know. My assistant insisted. I never canceled the vacation request and she made plans,” Jungkook shrugged. 

“Well, you can’t stay here!” you exclaim, pointing toward the door sharply.

Jungkook says your name, but you glare at him. He raises his hands in defeat.

“At least let me get dressed, okay?” 

“Fine,” you grumble as he grabs his suitcase from under the bed. You head to the balcony to sit while Jungkook gets dressed.

This was not how you wanted to spend your vacation. Was it too late to fly home from the next port? You couldn’t be stuck on the same ship with Jungkook for the next seven days and six nights. Just knowing he was on board would drive you up the wall.

Five minutes later, Jungkook is dressed as you reenter the cabin. You go with him to the front of the ship, flagging down someone who could help you.

Jungkook explains the situation, and the cruise worker listens while searching for any available rooms.

“I apologize, but there are no other rooms available. We’re fully booked. You’ll have to stay in the room, sir.”

“But-” You go to protest but the worker cuts you off.

“There’s nothing we can do, ma’am. I apologize but we’re in the middle of the ocean, hours from our first stop.”

“Thanks for checking,” you state in defeat as you turn on your heel with Jungkook behind you.

Back in your cabin, you go to the bathroom to shower. You come out in a robe, going for your suitcase to grab your pajamas before going back into the bathroom. 

Jungkook stays out on the balcony until you’re getting into bed.

“I’m sorry. If I had known-”

“Just don’t,” you stop him. He shuts up immediately. “I just want to get through tonight, okay?”

Jungkook nods as you pull the covers over your body. You tug the pillows and place a few between you and the spot where Jungkook will have to sleep.

Silently, Jungkook climbs into bed.

“Goodnight.”

“Goodnight,” Jungkook whispers as you turn out the lights.

Heat stifles you as you arouse from your sleep. You moan as you push the covers but the pillows’ warmth is still making you hot. You push at them, trying to shove them off the bed, but a grunt greets you instead.

“Quit,” a familiar sleepy voice wakes you up in an instant. 

You scramble to sit up, but you’ve wrapped yourself around Jungkook, who is shirtless. His bed head looks adorable as he whines at the loss of warmth before he tugs the covers toward him, sleeping some more.

Quickly, you get dressed and storm out of your cabin.

You could not deal with this without a stiff drink and your best friends.

Part of you hoped you were dreaming.

~

“He’s here!” you yell when you reach Yoongi and Jimin’s table. Plates of fruit, eggs, and pancakes greet you along with glasses filled with water, some with various types of juices, and mimosas.

You plop down on a free chair, reaching for a mimosa and then Jimin’s. Both men watch you with wide eyes as Yoongi offers you his drink.

“Who’s here?” Jimin asks, befuddled.

Jimin and Yoongi exchange a look. They had watched you go to your room before they retired for the night.

Who could you have run into?

“Jungkook!” You hiss in explanation. “He’s here!”

Yoongi frowns. “I thought that was him.”

You whip your head to face him. “You knew?!”

Yoongi rapidly shakes his head. “I thought I saw him yesterday but when I blinked, he was gone. I thought the heat had gotten to me.”

You cackle, nearly losing your mind. “Well, he’s fucking here! And he’s staying in my room!”

Jimin and Yoongi’s mouths drop open wide in shock.

“He’s what?!” Jimin recovers first as he waves down a waiter and orders more mimosas for the three of you. This revelation demanded a drink.

“Can’t he get a room for himself? Lord knows he can afford it,” Yoongi grumbles as he picks at his buttery toast.

“No, it’s booked solid,” you sigh as you cover your face with your hands.

“Good morning, everyone!” Jungkook greets you before he takes the empty seat beside you. He helps himself to some fruit and some of your mimosa.

Jimin and Yoongi stare at him with wide eyes. So you weren’t lying to go home. 

“Hey,” Jimin waves weakly. “Surprising to see you out of the office.”

Jungkook ignores the jab at him. “You look good, Jimin. Very good.”

“Watch it,” Yoongi growls. “Just because he’ll be amicable doesn’t mean I won’t wipe the table with your face.”

Jungkook raises his hands in defeat. “Just being friendly. We are spending the week together after all. Isn’t that right, roomie?” 

Jungkook nudges you with his elbow.

“Eat dirt,” you respond as you ignore him and grab a stack of pancakes. You drown them in syrup and ignore Jungkook and Jimin catching up. Yoongi glares at him the whole time before breakfast ends and you head back to your room to get ready to reach the first port.

The first two days on board, you manage to avoid Jungkook after his appearance at breakfast that one morning. 

You were three days into your cruise when you were hanging poolside with Jimin and Yoongi once again. The warmth of the sun felt nice on your skin, even with Jimin’s nagging about flipping over and reapplying sunblock.

Your swimsuit was something sexy Jimin had picked out to accentuate your favorite features of your body. He had picked out a few outfits for you and Yoongi to match his. You looked more like a polytriad than a group of friends, but you liked the outfits.

Your sun hat and sunglasses kept out the gazes of any men who would have the slightest interest in you, much to Jimin’s annoyance.

Jimin sits on his sun lounger slathering more sunblock on his skin while Yoongi goes off to get the three of you drinks. You’ve been busy the past few days shopping, eating, dancing, laughing, and enjoying life away from the claws of capitalism.

Shade casts over you, and you look up to see Jungkook’s smiling face, dimples and all.

“What do you want, Jeon?” you huff as you sit up, removing your sunglasses. 

Jungkook stands over you, checking you out in your swimsuit. He briefly remembers the times he held you in his arms, when his touch aroused you, not repulsed you.

Jungkook sits down at the end of your seat. His body glistened as if he had just gotten out of the pool. You’re sure there’s at least a gaggle of men and women staring at the both of you. Jungkook attracted attention wherever he went. His glorious body, tattoos, hair, and a radiant smile broke more than just your heart.

His piercings catch the sun, the glint hitting your eyes.

“Yeah,” Jimin pipes up. “This zone is for loading future husbands only.”

You roll your eyes at Jimin but lean back as Jungkook’s body freezes.

“Husbands?” 

“Yes,” Jimin retorts, “Husbands.”

“I didn’t know you were looking,” Jungkook said as he looked at you, perplexed. 

You shrug.

“I figure the next person I date will be the one.”

Jungkook remains silent. He cards a tattooed hand through his wet hair, and you curse him in your mind. He knew how hot he looked, he just wanted to make you suffer.

You weren’t going to give in to his tricks though.

You move your legs toward you, pretending you don’t want to get hit with water droplets but you can’t ignore the rapid heartbeat between your legs. 

“JK!” Yoongi shouts as he approaches, squirting Jungkook with a water gun. 

“Hey!” Jungkook shouts as he chases Yoongi, quickly catching up to the older man. A fight ensues as both men try to gain control of the water gun before Jungkook acquires one from a bystander.

“Fuck,” you groan as you put your sun hat back on.

“He’s fucking hot,” Jimin groans as he lies back. You look at each other and burst out laughing.

“He’s a menace,” you sigh but your heart flutters as you spot him in the pool with Yoongi. The two are splashing each other and some of the other passengers but they don’t seem to mind as they join in.

Jimin is silent for a few minutes before he turns to face you.

“Be honest with me, babe. You still love him?”

“Do you even have to ask?” you respond as you watch Jungkook shake the water out of his hair before he pulls himself out of the pool.

Jungkook ignores the way his cock throbs at the sight of you in your sundress as you walk down the hall to meet Jimin and Yoongi. He nearly drools at the sway of your hips as your body shows off all your best assets.

His thoughts easily wander, you were the only one he ever felt like he could be himself. You were his best friend and he’d lost you over a heated argument about him working so much. He had said some things he had regretted, especially when he lost you.

He had spent the last six months thrown into work, avoiding any socialization wherever possible. He didn’t want to meet someone new, he wanted you. But you had blocked him, made it clear that you wanted nothing to do with him and now you were confined to a cruise ship and he would do whatever it took to get you back.

You turn when you hear your name being called, and heat rushes to your cheeks when you spot the captain, Kim Namjoon. 

He looks divine in his crisp white uniform, his hat tucked under his right arm. 

“Good evening,” he greets you with a dimpled grin. You smile brightly at him, asking him about his day. 

He had heard about your predicament with Jungkook the following morning and had invited you to a special dinner with him tonight as an apology for the inconvenience.

Normally, you would have denied any sort of offer, not wanting to inconvenience anyone but Namjoon was hot, smart, and funny. 

Namjoon offers you his arm, which you take giddily as he escorts you to your private dinner. 

Within five minutes he had you laughing, wine threatening to shoot out of your nose. 

Jimin had encouraged you to go to dinner after he spotted the captain later that day, and now that Namjoon’s schedule allowed, you sat in front of him in a candlelit room with a spectacular view. 

A white ceramic vase sat in the middle of the table with fresh pink peonies. Soft music played from a speaker overhead, and the sound of the ocean filled the background. 

Namjoon’s eyes lit up every time he shared a snippet of his tales from the sea. You listened intently, batting your lashes whenever he’d smile with his dimples on display. 

You know this wasn’t a date, and it would never work out with how long Namjoon had to be out at sea, but it was nice to get back into the game after such a long time. You never imagined being tossed back into the dating pool after Jungkook.

The thought makes your smile waver for a moment, and you reach for your glass of wine instead. 

Two silver-covered trays arrive shortly, stopping Namjoon mid-sentence as he smiles proudly. 

“I caught tonight’s dinner. I had our chef cook it with a special sauce that you’ll enjoy,” Namjoon states as your tray is set in front of you and you nod excitedly.

All excitement vanishes as you see two little beady eyes staring back at you.

Jungkook looks immaculate. His undercut is on display, his tattoos pop against his white-button shirt, and his smile can dazzle just about anyone… except Min Yoongi.

Yoongi is the first to spot Jungkook heading to the table where he sits beside his boyfriend. Yoongi had loved Jungkook, still did but his loyalty to you made him pull away from the younger man. An annoyance brewed where he held brotherly love for him once. If you decided to get back with him, it would take Yoongi a while to thaw out. 

Jungkook looks around the area, finally asking Jimin where you are.

“She’s on a date,” Yoongi smirks as Jungkook’s hopeful smile turns into a frown. The younger man toys with his lip piercings worriedly. 

“With the Captain,” Yoongi continues, ignoring the jab of his boyfriend’s sharp elbow to his ribs. “So she’ll be late coming to bed tonight… if she goes to bed at all.”

Jungkook’s heart deflates further as he twiddles his fingers. His eyes shine as he blinks back tears. Jimin scowls at Yoongi. 

Perhaps, he had gone too far. Yoongi slouches into his seat, abashed.  

“It’s just dinner,” Jimin tries to assure Jungkook. “They’re on the balcony by the lobby.” 

“Jimin!” Yoongi hisses before Jimin elbows his ribs again. 

“What? He loves her!” Jimin exclaims, gaining the attention of a few patrons. 

Jungkook feels his ears burn from the attention as he thanks Jimin quietly before leaving the couple to enjoy dinner. 

Heartache is quick to consume Jungkook despite Jimin’s poor assurance of you and the captain’s night. He remembered how mesmerized Captain Kim had seemed when he offered his apologies before asking you to dinner right in front of Jungkook. As if he were invisible!

Okay, maybe Jungkook was jealous. He never wanted to end things, and he didn’t mean any of the things he said that awful night of your breakup. He had taken steps to fix himself, working less, going home more, and prioritizing himself and his family. He was a new man, even his mother had noticed the change. She was hopeful you and him would get back together. 

Jungkook wallows in his sadness as he heads down one hallway and down another. He ignored the conversations around him and anyone who tried to strike up a conversation. 

Before he knows it, he arrives at the kitchen with the swinging doors. He’s about to turn away when he gets grabbed by a man in a white hat with a stern look. 

“Why are you just standing around?!” The man shouts as he hands Jungkook a silver tray with a thick lid that reflects his befuddled expression. 

Jungkook looks at the name tag on the man’s white coat that reads, Soobin.

“Listen,” Jungkook tries to protest but he’s shoved in the direction of the other doors that lead who-knows-where. Jungkook stumbles before righting himself as the staff in the kitchen zoom back and forth adding garnish, stirring bubbling pots, and plating elaborate dishes in pristine white ceramic plates 

“Hurry!” Soobin shouts from across the kitchen, his scowl sends a shiver of fear down Jungkook’s spine. He balances the tray in one hand as he pushes the black doors in front of him. 

Jungkook’s not even sure where he’s going, or how he got into this situation from just losing himself in his thoughts but now he had to deliver whatever was under the tray and look for an exit. 

Perhaps he could scale the side of the ship to get on another floor. 

There was no way he’d be facing Chef Soobin’s wrath again. That much he was sure of. 

“We’ve been waiting on you,” someone else hisses at him once he goes through the swinging door, biting his lip when one of the doors smacks his back and jolts him forward. 

“I don’t-” Jungkook tries to explain but is interrupted as someone apologizes to a man clad in white. 

Jungkook’s heart sinks as he recognizes you with every step he takes. 

“Here is dessert,” the person grins as Jungkook sets the tray on the table.

Your eyes widen in surprise when you see him, confusion forming on your brow. 

Jungkook looks to the side where the waiter is placing the remains of your dinner on a cart, and two black beady eyes seem to follow his movements as he shifts his weight from foot to foot. 

“Kookie?” You ask in surprise and his heart flips at the nickname he’d only allow you to use. 

However, before he can bask in the sweetness of it, you clear your throat and correct yourself, using his full name instead. 

“What are you doing here?” 

Jungkook bites his lip. This looks bad from all angles. The truth sounds like a fabricated lie and a lie would sound worse. 

Namjoon raises a brow at the two of you, quickly putting the pieces together. 

“Join us for dessert,” Namjoon smiles warmly as he waves over the waiter to ask for another chair but Jungkook shakes his head. 

“No, that’s okay! I just got lost is all,” Jungkook blushes as he cards a hand through his hair nervously. You follow the action closely, studying Jungkook and the way his fingers twitch at his side. He avoids your gaze and Namjoon’s, apologizing as he takes a step back. 

“I’ll go find my way back to Jimin and Yoongi. Please, don’t let me interrupt any further,” Jungkook can taste the vileness of his words but he’s at odds with his words and his thoughts. 

“Why don’t I walk you back,” you offer, surprising him and Namjoon. 

“Oh, no that’s not necessary,” Jungkook shakes his head but makes eye contact with the little beady eyes from before. 

Had Namjoon tried to feed you that prawn? Did he not know food with eyes freaked you out? How long had you stared at those bead-like eyes before the plate had been removed from the table?

“Of course it is,” you say as you rise from your seat. Namjoon remains silent as you thank him for dinner.

“It was a pleasure,” Namjoon responds as he stands. He takes your hand in his and kisses it, making you smile bashfully. 

“I’ll be going now!” Jungkook squeaks, his face red like the prawn still staring at him. Why hadn’t the waiter taken that abomination back to the kitchen yet?

Was he hiding out of Chef Soobin’s wrath too?

“Kook!” You huff, flustered as you take his arm to link with yours. Jungkook stays silent as you lead him out of the private dining quarters through a door he could have easily spotted if he hadn’t been so flustered by the events. 

Weakly, Jungkook waves at Namjoon, who watches the two of you leave.   

Jungkook gets a good look at the captain, admiring the long, thick hair that sits at his shoulders. He looks dapper in his uniform and hat, with thick arms and thighs to die for. 

Jungkook was glad he had appeared just in time, or you’d be Captain Kim’s wife before the end of the cruise. 

Hell, Jungkook would vie for Namjoon.

You remain silent as you drag Jungkook by the arm. He goes willingly as you lead him toward the giant dining room with the rest of the passengers.

You come to a halt before entering, ignoring the hunger pangs in your belly. 

“What exactly is it that you are doing, Jungkook!” You ask as your anger bubbles over now that you’re alone with him. 

Jungkook steeled himself, biting his lower lip in the way you love. 

“I apologize,” Jungkook says sincerely, though the words taste like poison. “I didn’t mean to interrupt your date.”

“It wasn’t a date,” you respond automatically, cringing at the speed of your words. 

Jungkook visibly perks up.

“Don’t go getting any ideas,” you mutter as you cross your arms over your chest, drawing Jungkook’s saddened gaze for a moment. “Though I did need some rescuing, so thank you.”

Jungkook perks up again, smiling cutely. 

Before any more words are exchanged, your stomach rumbles loudly. Jungkook bites back his laughter as you cover your face.

“Oh my!” Jungkook giggles when your tummy rumbles again. 

“Kook!” You whine, stomping your foot. “Stop laughing!”

Jungkook continues to laugh, broad shoulders shaking as he does so. You pout, flipping him off.

“Come on, let’s get you something to eat,” Jungkook smiles as he takes your hand to lead you to the buffet. You thank him sheepishly as he hands you a clean plate to fill with food. 

You ignore the rumble of your stomach as you sit beside Jungkook in a booth.  The dinner rush has come and gone, only you and a few stragglers are left behind as the servers clean tables and stack dirty dishes a few tables away. 

“How long did you have a staring contest with that thing at the table?” Jungkook asks midway through dinner as he chews his food. For a moment he looks upset as he chews but you know it’s just him enjoying his meal. 

“Hey! Namjoon is a nice guy!” You retort as you move your mashed potatoes around your plate. 

Jungkook blinks owlishly, his cheeks stuffed with food. He resembles a cute little chipmunk.

He swallows, pounding his chest with his fist before he speaks. “I meant the prawn.”

“Oh!” you squeak as your body heats with embarrassment while Jungkook bursts into laughter. 

His eyes crinkle at the corners, his pretty nose scrunches and his teeth make an appearance. Your heart flutters in your chest, his laughter healing the wounds he’d left behind. 

No matter how much you tried to deny it, you were still hopelessly in love with him. 

You’re up bright and early the next morning. Jungkook snores softly beside you, cuddled to the pillow between the two of you. 

His hair is splayed on the pillow, one arm tucked under it to support his head. 

His broad back is on display, the covers hanging on his hips as he rolls over an inch. You had spent several mornings waking up beside him, cuddled up, sharing kisses and each other's bodies. Mornings filled with happiness and love, memories you held onto, wishing to relive. 

Instead, you get ready for the day. Jimin and Yoongi are excited to get to the port. There will be tons to do today before coming aboard for dinner and a show.

You put your swimsuit on under your sundress. You pack a change of clothes, sunblock, sunglasses, wallet, water bottle, mini first aid kit, and lip balm in your bag before heading out. 

Jimin waits for you in the hallway, informing you that his other half has gone to secure a table in the dining room before the early risers can fill up the area. 

“Soooo,” Jimin wiggles his eyebrows as the two of you sit down with Yoongi. Your plates are filled with eggs and sausage, fruits, and muffins. 

“So what?” You ask as you eat a slice of an apple Jimin cut for you, the only way you could easily eat fruit. 

Jimin is exasperated as he rolls his eyes at you. 

“What happened on your date?” Jimin asks as he takes a sip of his iced coffee. 

“It wasn’t a date,” you shake your head. “Just dinner.”

“Dinner with the cruise ship captain,” Yoongi cuts in. “That’s a big deal.”

“A private dinner with the cruise ship captain,” Jimin rephrased as he gave you his undivided attention. 

A heavy sigh escapes your beeswax-sticky lips. Should lip balm tingle?

“He served prawns,” you whisper, looking around to make sure Namjoon and his staff are not around. 

“Oooh,” Jimin smiles. 

“No, they had beady little eyes like marbles. They stared into my soul,” you shiver at the memory. 

“Yikes,” Yoongi shakes his head in disdain. He knew how much eyeballs freaked you out. 

“I couldn’t eat it,” you continue as you munch on a grape. “Then Jungkook came in and I didn’t have to.”

Jimin and Yoongi exchange a bewildered look. “What do you mean Jungkook came in?”

“Yeah,” you nod as you stab a cube of watermelon with your fork. “He brought dessert? The whole thing was odd now that I think about it.”

“You didn’t ask him?” Yoongi questions but you shrug as you finish eating. 

“We came to have dinner and it didn’t come up,” you explain with a second shrug. 

Yoongi raises a brow at you. It wasn’t normal for you to be so nonchalant about this, especially with how you’d reacted to Jungkook interrupting your vacation so far. You always had a quip or snide attitude when it came to your ex, so interrupting your not date was major. 

“Your ex-boyfriend interrupts your date and you don’t ask him why?” Yoongi is blunt with his question, seeking a direct answer. Jimin would have toed around it all day but Yoongi wanted to enjoy his cruise, plus he needed all drama set aside when he proposed soon. 

“It wasn’t a date,” you remind him in a sing-song tone. “I didn’t want to eat the eyes, sue me if I was grateful he showed up.”

“Jungkook aside, how was dinner with Namjoon? Do you like him? Do you wanna go on a date date?” Jimin inquires, hopeful that his friend may move on from Jungkook at last. You seem to want to but he knows you still love the dark-haired, tattooed man. 

“No,” you shake your head firmly. “He’d be away too much. That’s why Jungkook and I didn’t work out. Why go get involved in the same situation?” 

“Fair,” Yoongi agrees as he clears his plate. “Come on then, we have a city to explore.”

“Yeah!” Jimin cheers as he takes your hand in his to lead you toward the exit with Yoongi in tow. You smiled brightly as you headed for the port, excited to spend the day with your two best friends. 

No matter what life threw at you, they’d be by your side always. 

Jimin was excited as he watched the waves crash against the boat. 

You had stripped down to your bathing suit, and gotten lathered up in sunblock thanks to Jimin. 

Your sun hat sat on your head and your sunglasses nearly covered half your face as you laid back enjoying the breeze. 

You were doing your best to ignore Jungkook’s shirtless body. Jimin had rubbed his back with sunblock after he’d done you. 

The three of you had been surprised to see Jungkook jogging toward you at the pier, making it just in time to join you for your scheduled scuba diving session. 

Great.

Okay, so you were a little happy to see him. After all, you had planned this excursion with the four of you in mind. 

Though after the breakup, you never imagined it would be the four of you here in the ocean breeze. 

Music plays softly from Yoongi’s speaker. He’s got a thick book in his lap, as his sunglasses cover his shut eyes. He takes a cat nap, lulled by the sound of the waves crashing. 

Beside you, Jungkook puts his life jacket on, tightening the straps to keep himself safe but all it does is draw attention to his tiny waist, a waist you used to trace with your tongue. You flush at the thought, memories of you on your knees licking him up and down, teasing him just to hear him whimper and cry out your name…

“Hmmm?” You look up when you realize someone is calling your name. 

“I asked if you needed help with your life jacket?” Jungkook asks as he holds out the red monstrosity. You doubt it would look as good on you as it did him. You always felt like they were choking you. 

“I’ve got it, thanks,” you say as you take the jacket from him. Cordial. You could do this. It was your vacation, you should enjoy it to the best of your abilities. You should be relaxing, and thankful to be away from the world of work. 

The boat stops soon after and a tall, lean man comes to join you. Yoongi yawns as he awakens from his nap at Jimin’s prodding. He’d be damned if his boyfriend spent the entire vacation snoozing. 

“My name is Taehyung or Tae. Whichever you prefer,” the man introduced himself with a boxy grin. His dark curly hair moved with the breeze and his sun-kissed skin seemed to glow beautifully under the early morning sun. 

“Today we’ll be scuba diving in one of my favorite spots. We’ll be using the buddy system for this excursion, break for lunch, and then sail until four pm.”

You groan. The buddy system. You were shit out of luck as Jimin grabs Yoongi and leads him to the edge of the boat as Taehyung goes over a few more rules. 

Your two best friends hold hands as they get into the water, laughing as they resurface. 

Taehyung approaches you, smiling. “Let me know if you have any questions or if there’s anything specific you’d like to see today. The weather seems to be cooperating with us this morning.” 

“Thank you,” you say graciously as you begin to snap the buckles of your life jacket. You cry out when your hair gets caught in one and Taehyung is quick to unsnap the buckle and release your hair. 

“Here you go,” he coos gently as he pulls your hair upward to tie it in a loose bun. “Safety first.”

You lock your gaze on him as he easily ties your hair. He’s so close it makes your heart flip. His minty breath brushes your skin as he leans in closer to make sure he’s got all of your hair in one hand before tying a scrunchie around it. 

“There we go,” he muses as he takes a step back to admire his handiwork. “Perfect.”

Jungkook glares at the back of Taehyung’s head, cursing him in his mind. Would pushing Taehyung off his boat be rude? Jungkook didn’t think so. However, he didn’t need to be charged and stranded overseas. So he’d play nice. 

For now.

“Can we get in the water now?” Jungkook huffs as he puts his goggles on. “We came here to scuba dive.”

“Yeah,” you nod as you put your goggles on with Taehyung's help, much to Jungkook’s indignation. 

“There we go, love. Don’t want you getting hurt,” Taehyung smiles warmly as he helps you into the water. 

“It’s cold!” You exclaim, giggling as Taehyung dips into the water only to resurface moments later. He brushes his wet hair back, and you bite your bottom lip as he shakes the excess water off. 

Jimin notices the interaction and swims toward you, easily escaping Yoongi’s attempts to stop him from playing Cupid in the middle of the ocean. 

“Tae, can we go down now?” Jimin asks pleasantly, ignoring the death flares from

Yoongi and Jungkook. 

“Sure,” Taehyung responds as he leads the group to an area a few feet away from the boat. He gives them some information about the sea creatures lurking about, warning them to be careful as all are not friendly.

Jungkook sticks close to you, grinning when you go underwater with him. 

The two of you take photos with his camera, giggling at the bubbles that escape underwater before coming up for air. 

“This is amazing!” You grin as you float on your back for a moment. Jungkook watches you, his heart fluttering giddily in his chest. 

All he wanted was for you to be happy. How could he have allowed his work to consume him to the point of breaking up? He always swore to himself he’d be nothing like his workaholic father, and now here he was recreating his old man’s mistakes. 

Never again, Jungkook swears to himself. He would not lose the love of his life over the company. You mattered more, you always would. He had lost sight of that but never again. Being without you these past six months had been torturous. 

Somehow he had spent days in bed, wearing ramen-stained pajamas to go with his red-rimmed eyes. Jungkook didn’t know your eyes could hurt so much from crying, that the ache would almost rival that of his broken heart. 

He didn’t want to imagine what you had gone through. The pain he had caused. 

“Earth to Kook! Are you there?” Jungkook is startled out of his thoughts as you wave your hand in front of his face. “We’re going to the boat for lunch.”

Jungkook follows you as you swim back to the boat. Taehyung helps you out of the water, offering you a towel to dry off with before joining Jimin and Yoongi. 

Taehyung gives the four of you space as the boat hits the waves once more. 

“I’m so hungry,” Jimin hums as he takes a seat to look at the spread on the table. 

“Ooh, guacamole, tacos, and burritos,” Jungkook nearly drools as you grab a plate for him and one for yourself. 

The four of you enjoy lunch before Jimin falls asleep with Yoongi’s head on his lap. You dab some sunblock on their faces, and hope the sun doesn’t hit them.

“Today was fun,” Jungkook said as he sipped his beer. He sets it between you, and you reach for it to sip it. You weren’t a fan of beer but now and then you’d enjoy a sip of Jungkook’s. Old habits die hard apparently. 

Jungkook remains silent at the indirect kiss. However, on the inside, he’s giggling to himself. 

“It was,” you agree as you lie back, moaning as your muscles relax. You could easily fall asleep right there with the waves gently rocking the boat. 

“I’m sorry for crashing your vacation,” Jungkook apologizes after a moment of silence. “I wouldn’t have come if I knew you’d be here.”

“Gee, thanks,” you huff, offended. 

“No, no!” Jungkook shakes his head quickly. “I meant because I know you wouldn’t want to see me after…”

Your heart sinks in your chest as you toy with the edge of the towel to distract yourself. The wind ruffles your hair as you stare out into the ocean. 

“Despite everything that’s happened, I’ve had fun on this cruise. We can be cordial, right?” 

“Yeah,” Jungkook nods, ignoring the crack in his heart. “Of course.”

You turn to face Jungkook, his dark brown eyes locked on yours. For a split second, you consider leaning in closer, kissing him for old-time’s sake but you don’t. No matter how many times you fantasized about being with him, he wasn’t yours. Not even the cute mole under his lip could tempt you enough to kiss him, and you loved that mole!

“I accept your apology,” you say, focusing your eyes on his instead of the mole beneath his lip or his tongue tracing his piercings like you used to. 

Fuck, why were you denying him again? 

“Friends?” Jungkook asks as he offers his tattooed hand for a handshake. 

Your eyes flit from his to his hand and back before sighing. “Friends.”

Jungkook smiles brightly, fireworks going off in his chest. 

“But try anything fishy, and you’re out of here!” You inform him. 

Jungkook chuckles but agrees nonetheless. “I’m not planning on feeding you beady eyes or anything.”

“Good,” you stuck your tongue out at him and lay back on your towel. Jungkook lies beside you as you stare at the sky. 

You’re dozing off, and you swear it’s just your imagination playing tricks on you when you hear a whisper, “I missed you. I still love you.”

“They’re adorable,” Jimin cooed quietly as he looked at you curled up with Jungkook. 

“We should take a picture of them,” Yoongi agrees as he hands his phone to Jimin. Eagerly, Jimin takes a handful of pictures from different angles, all blackmail material for later. 

Once the photos are taken, Yoongi kicks Jungkook’s butt. “Get up! We’re here!”

Groaning, Jungkook stirs before Yoongi kicks him again. This time harder. 

“Hey!” Jungkook grunts as he swats Yoongi’s foot away. His shout wakes you, an annoyed frown on your face. 

“What is it?” You ask as you rub your eyes. The life jacket is still tied to your chest as you sit up. You probably shouldn’t have slept in it. 

“We gotta get back on the ship. We’re having dinner and a show, remember?” Jimin offers you his hand to help you up. You nod as you gather your belongings and Jimin helps Yoongi gather his. 

“I hope you enjoyed your time,” Taehyung bows as Jimin and Yoongi climb off the boat and onto the dock. 

“We did!” Jimin assured him as they waited for you. 

“Oh, need some help?” Taehyung asks as you struggle to undo the buckles of the life jacket. They had gotten tangled while you slept. 

“Please,” you pout as you try to untangle one strap only to tangle it more. Taehyung chuckles softly as his fingers make quick work of the buckles, setting you free in moments. 

“There we go, love. All set,” Taehyung smiles warmly at you as he helps you out of the life jacket. You thank him sincerely as you put your sundress over your bathing suit. 

“Thank you so much for today, Taehyung. I had a great time,” you say as you take his hand to get off his boat. 

Taehyung kisses your hand gently. “I hope to see you again, love. Take care.”

You giggle as you wave goodbye to the curly-haired cutie. 

Jungkook grunts as he gets off the boat last, rolling his eyes at Taehyung. 

He knew he had no right to be jealous but that was easier said than done. 

When you got back on the cruise ship, you were still smiling whilst looking at your hand. 

Jungkook was beyond jealous.

“What was that between you and Taehyung?” Jimin clasps his hands at dinner. 

You giggle at his excitement, knowing you’re gonna nip any hope of finding a man at sea in the bud. 

“It was nothing,” you assure him. “He’s just friendly.”

Jungkook scoffs from his seat, his eyes glued to his menu. 

Yoongi kicks him under the table. 

The three men are dressed to the nines. Jimin wears a black tuxedo with a white button-down shirt and skinny black tie. Beside him, Yoongi looks just as hot in a matching tuxedo with a black bow tie. 

Next to you, Jungkook is in all black. He looks delectable, and it takes all your willpower to keep your eyes off him. He had the same problem earlier when you stepped out of the bathroom in your maroon A-line dress with the deep v-cut that made your breasts look fabulous. He nearly proposed to you then and there.

“Looked like something was blooming,” Jimin insists as a server brings a basket full of fresh rolls and butter. 

“We had a few conversations while I booked the excursion,” you shrug, nonchalantly. “Nothing came of it.”

“Until he kissed your hand,” Jungkook grumbles into his menu.

“Ow!” He yelps when Yoongi’s foot kicks him again. 

“Anyway, he kissed your hand,” Yoongi grinned devilishly. “Could mean something.”

You wave him off. “He’s just being friendly.”

“He wasn’t that friendly with me,” Jungkook muttered.

You ignore him. 

You take a roll from the basket, cut it in half, and share it with Jungkook out of habit. You don’t notice the surprised look on your friends’ faces. 

“Who’s headlining anyway?” You ask as you spread butter on your roll. “I heard the act had backed out and someone else took their place.”

“Kim Seokjin,” Yoongi responds as he sips his whiskey. “I looked him up before dinner. He’s got an amazing voice. You’ll like him.”

You nod, eager to get to the show after dinner.

Jungkook looks up Seokjin on his phone, pouting when he sees an image of him on the screen. 

Did everyone you came in contact with on this cruise have to be so fucking attractive?

The lights dim as the last member of the audience takes their seat. Jungkook pouts beside you, not the least bit enthused about the handsome man who will be serenading the crowd in a few moments. 

Jimin is excited, chatting your ear off as he looks through the set list on the table. A few waiters come and go with trays filled with drinks and tiny napkins. 

The candlelit tables are the only form of light until the spotlight comes on and the first few notes of a song fill the air. 

“Welcome everyone,” a sultry voice greets the crowd from his spot at a piano. His hair is long and curly, it reaches his shoulders. He wears an all-white suit with a pink shirt underneath, the first few buttons undone to show a bit of his chest. 

His lips are plush and look oh-so kissable. He’s gorgeous, more so than his pictures. He is truly a vision that your eyes are blessed to behold. 

“Wow!” You breathe in awe as he sings a beautiful song about loving oneself. Jungkook frowns, what are the chances of him being able to steal the microphone and serenade you instead?

Nobody pays him attention as he watches Seokjin both in awe and jealousy. You seem enamored with the man as he dances with a group, never missing a note, and never sounding out of breath.

On top of it all, he’s funny too. After the first three songs, he takes a seat on a stool set out for him. He has a guitar beside him, and Jungkook wonders if there’s anything Seokjin can’t do.

“This one goes out to all the loves that could have been, the broken hearts, and the ones hoping for a second chance,” Seokjin introduces the next song as the lights dim and he strums his guitar. 

“And it feels like you’re getting further away,” Seokjin croons as his eyes mist with tears but he continues to sing.

Jungkook sits up in his chair, turning to look at you. You’re focused on Seokjin but tears are rolling down your cheeks as you take in every lyric, feeling as if it’s being engrained into your heart.

Gently, Jungkook wipes your tears with his monogrammed silk handkerchief. You gasp in surprise but soon smile through your tears, thanking him. Jungkook nods, remaining silent as the song comes to an end, and you take a shaky breath.

The show goes on, and after a few more songs, Seokjin rises from his seat. He does a few upbeat songs, getting the crowd clapping and singing along with him.

Seokjin pulls members from the audience to join him, teaching them simple choreography before he has them perform alongside him.

Yoongi and Jimin get pulled on stage, and they do amazing beside Seokjin. You cheer the loudest for them as they do body rolls all while sending flirty gazes to the audience. They both enjoy the attention, smiling as they thank Seokjin once the song ends.

Jimin blushes once he’s back in his seat. You hug him tightly, kissing his cheek. “You’re wonderful!”

“That?” Jimin giggles. “That was nothing.”

“Please,” Jungkook adds. “You were made for the stage. The both of you!”

You nod in agreement, smiling when people stop by your table to compliment the couple. Seokjin takes the stage once more, sitting on the stool for a moment while he introduces the last song.

“I’d like to end this night on a higher note,” Seokjin states as he looks out into the crowd. “Feel free to grab a partner and dance.” 

Seokjin heads to the crowd while singing. A few couples head to the dancefloor, swaying slowly to his beautiful voice. 

Jimin and Yoongi join the other couples shortly after, whispering sweet-nothings to each other as they go.

Awkwardness bubbles inside you, as you look down at the tablecloth. Would it be possible to leave the show unnoticed? Seokjin was nearby, surely nobody would notice if you made a hasty exit.

You rise from your seat sharply, surprising Jungkook. He stares at you with wide eyes, wondering where you’re going. 

However, before Jungkook can ask, Seokjin chooses that moment to take your hand, dancing with you at your table for a moment.

“When I’m with you, there is no one else,” he sings beautifully. Your heart skips a beat as you place your hand on his shoulder, smiling bashfully as he spins you once.

Jungkook is ready to head back to the cabin, not wanting to see another man fall for you just as he had. He knew when it was time to throw in the towel, and you may have accepted his apology and agreed to be friends, but how often did that actually pan out? Would you still talk to him once you weren’t stuck on a cruise ship? Jungkook wasn’t sure.

He wasn’t going to stand around and watch you fall for someone else. That much he was sure of.

Seokjin stills you once he finishes spinning you. He then places your hand in Jungkook’s before leaving to another table.

Jungkook’s doe eyes are wide with surprise. You look shocked, but lead him to the dancefloor beside Jimin and Yoongi.

“You were shining towards me, the only light found in the darkness,” Seokjin sings wholeheartedly as Jungkook holds you close. It’s been so long since the last time he held you like this; since he realized how perfect you fit in your arms. He promised if you gave him one more chance, he would make sure to never ruin it. He’d never hurt you again. He’d be more mindful of his words, he’d prioritize you over his company. Jungkook would make sure you never felt like you were an afterthought. It saddens him to think he had made you feel like that, and that it took losing you for it to snap him into reality.

How long had you been unhappy at his side? Was he selfish in wanting you back? In pursuing you still? Had his appearance on this cruise been a divine intervention or a simple coincidence? 

Jungkook forces himself to focus on you and not the downward spiral of despair brewing in his mind. You rest your head on his shoulder, swaying with him as he holds you closer.

Perhaps tonight the two of you could have a private moment to talk things out. Or maybe he’d be asking for too much?

Too soon for Jungkook’s liking, the song ends. He blinks his unshed tears away as you take a step back, clapping with everyone else.

“I’m going to head to the bar,” you inform him as you leave as quickly as possible. Jimin and Yoongi watch you go, and Yoongi places his hand on Jungkook’s shoulder.

“Tough break, man.”

Jungkook nods as he watches you squeeze through the crowd, disappearing soon after.

Jimin and Yoongi leave him by himself, the two enamored with each other after a romantic evening, both eager to get to their room for some privacy.

Jungkook is a little envious.

“Screwdriver, please,” you tell the bartender once you reach the bar. You need something to take the edge off, just a few minutes away from Jungkook and your array of emotions.

“I’ll have the same,” the voice beside you says. The bartender nods as he goes to make the drinks. You turn to your left to see Seokjin.

“You were wonderful,” you compliment, smiling genuinely. You hope you’re not bothering him. Surely he has people circling him at all times, especially after his shows.

“Thank you,” Seokjin bows his head, his ears turning red. 

The bartender places the drinks in front of you on black napkins with a gold border. You thank him before sipping your drink.

“Fuck, I needed that,” you muttter as you take a second sip.

“Trouble in paradise?” Seokjin asks as he sips from his glass. 

“You don’t know the half of it,” you respond sadly stirring your drink with your paper straw.

“I’m all ears,” Seokjin smiles, disarming any protests you might have had. 

“Don’t you have another show?” You ask with wide eyes, surprised this stranger would want to hear about your woes.

“Nope, that was the last one for the night,” Seokjin informs you. He holds out his hand for you to shake as he introduces himself. You shake his hand after giving him your name.

The two of you scoot to the end of the bar with your drinks. It takes you a few more sips of your screwdriver before you fill in Seokjin about your trip thus far and how you were stuck sharing your cabin with your ex.

“Sounds to me like there’s a lot of love there,” Seokjin responds after you’re done telling your tale. He waves down the bartender, asking for two glasses of water before he continues. “If you’ve forgiven him, what’s holding you back?”

You bite your bottom lip as you try to make a list of your doubts. 

“What if he hasn’t changed? What if we get back together and I’m brushed aside again?” 

Seokjin thanks the bartender as he pushes a glass of water toward you. He clicks his tongue before shrugging. 

“There’s no way to find out unless you try. Second chances are few and far between. Some people don’t get second chances, most try to make it work the second time. If at first you don’t succeed, try and try again,” Seokjin grins as he chugs his water. 

“So you do greeting cards on the side, huh?” You tease, playfully bumping into Seokjin. He laughs wholeheartedly, his eyes turning into half-moons. 

“I could, couldn’t I,” he says after his laughter has subsided. “But on a serious note, the two of you looked great on the dance floor. I didn’t know you were broken up when I danced with you.”

“Why do things have to be so complicated?” You huff as you finish your water. 

“They don’t have to be,” Seokjin assures you. “They’re only complicated if you make it so. You love him, he loves you, what more is there to it?”

You sigh heavily, you know Seokjin’s reasoning is a little half-baked but it makes sense. What’s keeping you from giving it a second shot? You love Jungkook so much, and despite Jimin’s attempts at fixing you up with someone, you always compare them to Jungkook. He was the love of your life, knew it from the moment you laid eyes on him in your flower shop. He had walked in looking frazzled. His black suit was well fitted and his broad chest showed from the few buttons left undone at the top. His hair had been brushed back, his undercut on display. 

Frazzled, he’d asked you for a custom bouquet. His mother’s birthday dinner was that evening and though he had a birthday present for her, he didn’t want to show up without flowers. She adored flowers, he’d informed you. All kinds, any color, any array. He never went empty-handed but the last floralist he’d ordered from had sent him nothing but stems and wilted roses. 

After that day, he made daily appearances, until eventually he asked you out. 

On your third month of dating, he had you meet his mother, her house filled with flowers from your shop. 

“It’s so nice to meet the woman responsible for my new garden,” she joked as she welcomed you into her home with a tight hug. 

Jungkook had blushed, hiding his face in his hands. 

His mother adored you right off the bat, and that’s when Jungkook knew he couldn’t live without you, didn’t want to. 

Your relationship had been perfect at first, something out of a fairytale. You spent a lot of time together, went on dates, spent the night, and tried his hobbies which involved rock climbing, kayaking, and bungee jumping. He tried yours, cooking, baking, painting, candle making. However, as your relationship wore on, Jungkook spent more and more time at work at his company. Business trips overseas, meetings late into the night, days off spent sleeping or moody. 

You understood at first. You were supportive and gave him space when he needed it but soon came the canceled dates, the forgotten anniversaries, and the forgotten birthdays. 

“I’m tired of coming second all the time, Jungkook,” you told him one day in his office after another canceled dinner. 

“I have to work, babe. I can’t put it off for dinner,” he said as he sat at his desk, barely looking up from his laptop. 

“It wasn’t always like this, Kook. You used to make an effort to come home,” you frowned as you placed your hands on your hips. 

“You know I would of I could,” Jungkook huffs as he rubs his face with his hands. He had a knot in his shoulders from the stress and a headache was building rapidly. He didn’t have time for this argument. The longer you interrupted him the longer it would take for him to finish and go home to your shared apartment. 

“Kookie,” you sigh, defeated. “I’m tired of waiting for you.”

“Nobody asked you to!” He exclaims as he shuts his laptop. 

His words shattered your heart and a knot formed in your throat. You held back tears, simply nodding. 

“Don’t worry, I’m done waiting on you.”

You had walked out of his office without another word. You headed straight to your shared apartment to pack up your belongings and crash on Jimin’s couch. 

Jungkook had gone home late that night exhausted from his day at work. He had been put off by the complete silence. The lights were all off which was unusual since you were scared of the dark. You always had one light on, whether it was the living room lamp or the light over the stove. 

Jungkook called out for you but got no response as he made his way to the bedroom. 

The silence was eerie, just like the darkness. When he flicked the light switch, his eyes widened and his heart sank in his chest. 

Drawers were open and emptied. Your half of the closet had nothing but empty clothes hangers. 

Jungkook shook his head, this couldn’t be happening. 

He rushed to the bathroom to see your makeup, face products, and toiletries were gone. He heaved, resisting the urge to puke as cold sweat beaded on his forehead. 

Jungkook went to the kitchen, opening cabinets to see if your favorite mug was gone. There wasn’t an item left that belonged to you in the apartment. 

You truly had grown tired of waiting for him. 

Jungkook fell to his knees on the cold kitchen floor. His heart felt like it was cracking into tiny pieces. He had lost you. He was sure of it. 

You were gone.

“Hello?” Seokjin waves his hand in front of your face when his question goes unanswered.

You apologize before he repeats his question. “What more is there to it?”

Seokjin had a point. What was keeping you from making amends? Jungkook was here, you’d forgiven him, and secretly his mother had called you throughout the six months to check on you but also fill you in on Jungkook’s change. No longer was he missing dinner, he was at her home promptly at six every evening. He had his days off, and spent more time with her, which she loved but she missed the shine in her son’s eyes, the little sparkle he got when he was with you.

Fear wasn’t a good enough reason to stay away, not anymore. 

“You’re right,” you give in with a small smile. 

“I always am,” Seokjin chuckles as he reaches into his suit pocket and hands you a card. “Here, call me when you need a singer for your wedding. I’ll give you ten percent off.”

You laugh, shaking your head. “Thanks, Seokjin.”

Seokjin shakes his head. “Think nothing of it. Now go, get your man back.”

“You only want us together so we’ll book you,” you laugh as his cheeks turn pink. 

“Hey, I gotta make a living somehow,” he winks at you to make you laugh. “Now quit stalling and go!”

“All right! All right! I’m going!” You laugh as you hug him goodbye, promising to update him before the cruise is over. Seokjin waves as you go, hopeful that you and Jungkook will make amends. 

Seokjin orders a shot, raising it in your honor before downing it. 

Perhaps his next endeavor would lead him to matchmaking. 

You’re filled with nerves by the time you reach your cabin. You use your bracelet to let yourself into the room, hoping the butterflies in your stomach will settle. 

However, your nerves are for naught as you spot Jungkook asleep in your bed. 

Disappointed, you head to the bathroom to change and wash your face. 

Jungkook opens his eyes once he hears the bathroom door shut. He looks at the time and notes you’ve been gone a little over an hour. 

He hopes you and Seokjin will be happy together. 

The next morning you’re up bright and early. You roll over expecting to see Jungkook, but instead, you find his spot empty and the sheets cold. 

Frowning, you get out of bed to get ready for the day. 

You were hoping to talk to him before reaching the next port. 

“Good morning!” Jimin sings as he enters your bedroom after knocking incessantly while you get dressed. 

“Morning,” you mumble as you grab your purse and sunglasses. Another sundress covers your body, this one purple with white flowers. Your bathing suit hides beneath the cool fabric, riding up a bit as you bend down to fix the strap on your sandal. 

“What’s got your panties in a twist?” Jimin raised a brow at your response. “I thought you and Seokjin hit it off last night. At least it looked that way when we were heading to bed.”

“Nothing happened,” you roll your eyes at Jimin’s nosiness. “We talked about Jungkook.”

“Ew, talking about an ex on the first date is such a downer,” Jimin comments as he follows you out of the cabin and into the hallway. 

“It wasn’t a date,” you insist as you face forward. “Have you seen Jungkook? He wasn’t in bed this morning.”

“He’s probably at breakfast with Yoongi. I sent him ahead to get us a table,” Jimin explains. 

“Oh,” you say dejected. “So you haven’t seen Kookie?”

“Kookie?” Jimin’s eyes widen in surprise. “You’re calling him Kookie again? He’s not a dick anymore?” 

“Jimin,” you huff. “Have you seen Jungkook or not?”

Jimin shakes his head. “Not since last night.”

You frown. You wanted to speak with him sooner rather than later. Tonight was one of the last nights on board, and if he was nowhere to be found you’re not sure if you’d have the courage to reach out to him once you went back home. 

“Let’s have breakfast and go about our day. I’m sure he’ll show up at some point.” 

“What if he doesn’t?” You bite your lip nervously. 

Jimin scoffs. “Please, this is the man who somehow found you in the captain’s private dining room. He’ll find you.”

You giggle as you take Jimin’s arm in yours, feeling much lighter as you head to the dining area.

“Yeah, you’re right.”

“Aren’t I always,” Jimin states cheekily.

However, Jungkook isn’t at breakfast and he’s nowhere to be seen when you get off the ship at the next port.

“Don’t worry about him, babe,” Jimin links his left arm with your right. “He’ll show up.”

“I hope you’re right,” you sigh. “I need to talk to him.”

Yoongi shrugs. “Don’t let him ruin your day. We’ve got a whole day at the beach.”

You smile as you go with the couple to check out the market on the way to the beach. You fill your bag with souvenirs for your family and friends. Jimin buys you snacks, trying them all on the way to the beach.

“This weather is so nice,” you sigh happily as you rest on your lounger under a large blue umbrella Yoongi had set up for the four of you, despite Jungkook being nowhere to be found.

“I’ll go get us some drinks,” Yoongi volunteers as Jimin mentions wanting a blue drink with an umbrella that the person a few feet away from you was sipping on.

“Get me one too!” you call after him as he raises his hand over his shoulder to assure you he heard your request.

The sand is hot on Yoongi’s feet as he reaches the bar. There’s a crowd at one end of the bar, cheering as some shirtless dude rips open a watermelon with his bare hands. Yoongi rolls his eyes as he orders your drinks and a bottle of water for himself.

“JK! JK! JK!” The crowd cheers. Yoongi whips his head to the crowd, spotting Jungkook’s tattooed arm dripping with watermelon juice. He pours the juice into a few shot glasses, while the bartender adds vodka.

“Cheers!” Jungkook grabs a shot as do a few of his fans.

“Thanks!” Yoongi pays for the drinks, sliding the cold water bottle into the pocket of his swim trunks. He barrels through Jungkook’s onlookers, earning a few angry looks as he grabs Jungkook’s shoulder.

“Hey! No touchy!” Jungkook exclaims before he realizes it’s Yoongi grabbing his shoulder.

“Oh! Yoongi! What’s up?”

“You know your girl’s been looking for you all morning?” Yoongi raises a brow as he tugs Jungkook away from the bar, ignoring the onlookers’ protests.

“She’s Seokjin’s girl now,” Jungkook shrugs.

“You’re an idiot! You know that?”

“I do,” Jungkook agrees easily and Yoongi hands him his water. 

“Drink this and come join us. I’m proposing to Jimin tonight and I don’t need you ruining this for us.”

Jungkook’s eyes widen. “Oh shit! You’re proposing! Congrats! Does he know?!”

Yoongi’s forehead vein twitches. “I haven’t done it yet.”

Jungkook nods, smiling. “You should.”

“I’m gonna.”

“Good,” Jungkook grins. “You should.”

“I’m gonna,” Yoongi rolls his eyes at the younger man.

“You should.” Jungkook bobs his head.

“I’m gonna,” Yoongi insists before carding a hand through his long black hair. “Will you shut up?! Let’s go!”

Jungkook chugs the bottle of water before following Yoongi to where you and Jimin chat under the large umbrella.

“Hey stranger,” Jimin greets Jungkook as Yoongi hands you and Jimin your drinks. 

“Hey,” Jungkook waves weakly as he takes a seat on the end of Jimin’s chair. Jimin eyes Yoongi, silently asking him what gives. Yoongi answers with a shrug.

“Okay…” Jimin grins. “Glad we’re all here.”

You nod as you sip your blue drink, not knowing what to say or do. Yoongi sits on your chair, stretching out. You poke his chest, and he pouts.

“Be good,” he swats at your hand, making you laugh as you and Jimin talk about the drink. Jungkook remains silent as he watches the ocean, wondering what he can do to make things between you less awkward.

Hours pass, and soon it’s almost sunset.

“It’s right over here,” Yoongi says as he leads Jimin by the hand to a place further down the beach.

“Hello!” A bright voice greets the four of you along with three giant horses.

“Horseback riding?” Jimin squeals in delight. He kisses Yoongi on the cheek. 

“I’m Hoseok,” the man introduces himself. “I’ll be giving you a tour.”

You all introduce yourselves.

Hoseok has Jimin and Yoongi meet their horse, becoming familiar with the steed before helping them onto Pepper, a beautiful black stallion.

“All right you two, you’re on Sugar,” Hoseok states as he hands you and Jungkook sugar cubes for the horse. “She’s the sweetest I own. Be good to her and she’ll be good to you.”

Hoseok helps you onto the horse, his hands gently guiding you forward so he can get Jungkook on behind you. 

“Place your hands around her waist and place them here,” Hoseok instructs before telling you where to place yours.

“Aren’t you a good girl?” Hoseok coos, and you giggle.

Hoseok pets Sugar, but winks at you before he gets on his horse, a beautiful sandy brown mare named Cinnamon.

Unknowingly, Hoseok is leading you to the spot Yoongi will propose. However, he takes the long way around, showing you as much of his beautiful city as possible.

Hoseok hangs beside you and Jungkook. He’s very outgoing, filling any awkward pauses with jokes, and information you’re eager to hear. 

“Why don’t you two hang back a bit?” Hoseok raises a brow, winking at you once more before he goes to Yoongi and Jimin. Sugar comes to a stop, and Jungkook jolts forward, his chest hitting your back.

“Sorry,” he apologizes as he grips your waist tighter to keep himself on the horse. 

“What’s going on?” you ask as you watch Hoseok lead Yoongi and Jimin further up before he hands Jimin a blindfold. Hoseok calls for Sugar, and she goes willingly.

“Whoa!” you hold tight to the horse and Jungkook, scared you’ll fall off and get a mouthful of sand in the process.

Soon, lights appear in the sand in the shape of a heart. Rose petals are spread perfectly throughout, spelling out the words, Will you marry me?

“Oh my god,” you whisper, tears immediately filling your eyes. 

“What’s going on?” Jimin asks as Hoseok helps him off the horse once Yoongi gets into position. A photographer and videographer stand nearby, waiting as Hoseok leads Jimin to Yoongi. Hoseok then comes for you and Jungkook, helping you off the horse before leading you to the side.

“You may remove your blindfold,” Hoseok instructs as he grabs the three horses' reins to get them out of the photos.

Jimin is confused but does as he’s told. His heart is racing in his chest, his hands have grown sweaty from nerves, and butterflies swirl in his tummy.

A gasp escapes him as the silk blindfold flutters to the sand. His hands cover his mouth as he looks at Yoongi kneeling in front of him with a black velvet box containing a perfect amethyst ring.

“Will you marry me?” Yoongi asks with hope in his eyes. 

Jimin nods, “Yes. Yes!”

You grab Jungkook, shaking him in your excitement as your two best friends kiss. Yoongi places the ring on Jimin’s finger, and you allow them to have their moment, waiting for the happy couple to turn to you and wave you over.

You wrap your arms around them both, squeezing them until they tell you they can’t breathe. You release them, admiring Jimin’s ring, giggling in your excitement as you begin talking about wedding plans.

“Congratulations,” Jungkook tells Yoongi as he watches you and Jimin bounce ideas off each other as Hoseok approaches with the horses.

“Thanks,” Yoongi smiles brightly, love in his eyes when he looks at Jimin.

“We should get going before the ship leaves without us,” Jimin turns to face the two, urging them onto the horses. Hoseok helps you back onto Sugar, his hand lingering on your waist as you settle. You laugh at something he says, gently swatting him as he laughs before he goes to help Jimin and Yoongi.

Jungkook gets on Sugar without any help, his hands gripping your waist as Hoseok gets on Cinnamon and leads the four of you back to his office.

Jimin and Yoongi are all smiles at dinner. Champagne glasses in your hands as you toast their engagement before they go off on their own.

“I’m so happy for them,” you grin as you watch your best friends leave. 

Jungkook nods in agreement. 

“What should we do now?” 

“Want to check out the party on deck?” You ask as you see fireworks going off in the distance. Jungkook nods as he follows you out onto the deck.

The two of you haven’t had a chance to have a serious conversation due to all the excitement but now with Jimin and Yoongi gone, you were unsure how to approach the subject.

More fireworks go off as you find a spot for the two of you to watch the rest of the show, amazed by the beautiful colors and patterns of the fireworks.

Jungkook smiles as the last few go off before the passengers clap and disperse.

“Should we head back to the room?” you ask Jungkook as a chill runs down your spine, your hands rubbing your arms.

Jungkook nods. He takes his jacket off to drape over your shoulders as he follows you back into the ship, going down the halls until you reach your cabin.

“I’m gonna take a shower,” you inform him as you set his jacket on the bed before going to the bathroom with your pajamas in tow. Jungkook nods, as he hangs his jacket in the small closet. 

He cards a hand through his hair before he heads out to the balcony to watch the waves. Something about the endless ocean at night made him uneasy but he couldn’t stand the tightness he felt in his chest being in such a small room feeling somewhat awkward.

“Bathroom’s free!” You call twenty minutes later as you climb into bed before Jungkook can see you wearing one of his old t-shirts to bed. You had packed it with the thought that he wouldn’t be joining you on this cruise and now you were stuck hiding under the sheets.

“Thanks!” He responds before he heads into the shower. You scroll on your phone absentmindedly, humming until he comes out. He’s shirtless as he does his nighttime skincare routine, singing a song softly to himself.

You stare at his perfect abdomen, wishing you could run your hands over his broad shoulders and tapered waist. Your lips ache to kiss every mole and scar on his body, to taste him once more. 

“Jungkook, can we talk?” You ask as you muster all the courage you can. 

Jungkook's eyes widen in surprise, his toothbrush hanging from his mouth.

He nods as he rushes to the bathroom sink to spit out the toothpaste. 

You wait patiently for him to finish before he sits on the edge of the bed. 

Jungkook waits apprehensively for you to speak as you play with the sheets. 

“I’ve been talking to your mom these past few months,” you say, avoiding his gaze. 

“My mom?” Jungkook is surprised at the revelation. “Why?”

You shrug. “I didn’t break up with her.”

You’ve got him there. 

“She says you’ve changed a lot these past six months,” you continue as you finally meet his gaze. “That you’re different now.”

“I am,” Jungkook nods eagerly. “I swear.”

“I want to believe you,” you respond honestly as you focus on the sheets, tugging them to peaks. “I’m just scared of getting hurt again.”

“I know,” Jungkook sighs heavily. “I’ve been kicking myself for how I treated you back then. I was an idiot. I said things I didn’t mean. I missed so many events and dinners. I’m truly sorry.”

“I still love you, Jungkook. I never stopped,” you admit sheepishly as you feel heat rush to your cheeks. 

Jungkook moves closer, his hand gently cupping your face. He waits patiently until you meet his gaze. 

“I never stopped loving you, baby. I want to be the man you deserve. I want to be everything I wasn’t. You are my priority. I’m sorry it took me losing you to figure it out,” Jungkook gently caresses your cheek. Tears well in your eyes as you try to blink them away. 

When one rolls down your cheek, Jungkook tenderly wipes it away with his thumb. 

“I never meant to hurt you, love. And I swear that I never will,” Jungkook promises as he hooks his pinkie with yours. You smile through your tears, wrapping your arms around him to hold him close. 

Jungkook rubs your back softly, holding you tight, afraid to let you go. He can feel your tears land on his shoulder as he holds you, whispering assurances and sweet nothings until you’re sniffling instead of crying. 

When you let go, you wipe your eyes and smile at him sheepishly. 

Jungkook holds your hands in his, kissing each of them before pressing his lips to yours. His forehead rests on yours, and your gaze meets his hopeful one. 

“You are my everything,” Jungkook whispers. “Today, tomorrow, and for the rest of my life. I love you.”

“One last kiss before we head out,”  Jungkook pouts as he stands in front of the door to your cabin, his back pressed to it. 

You roll your eyes playfully, but lean in close to kiss him. Jungkook’s large hands grip your waist, tugging you closer as he deepens the kiss, making you moan when he sucks on your bottom lip. 

“Fuck,” you curse when you take a breath. Jungkook smirks, his hand moving higher on your back. 

“We could say we’re sick,” Jungkook wiggles his eyebrows suggestively at you.  

“Please,” you scoff. “You know Jimin would break the door down if he thought I was sick.”

Jungkook pouts, “But we just got together. I want to make up for lost time.”

You run your hands over the smooth planes of his chest. You have lunch plans with Jimin and Yoongi, some wedding planning, and more celebrating you’re sure. It’s why you’ve decided not to announce your relationship to the happy couple just yet. 

Your plans for the day are very relaxed for your last night on board, until the farewell party this evening. Seokjin will be performing at dinner once again, and then the passengers will get to have one last big hurrah before going home in the morning. You were apprehensive about going home, would Jungkook keep his promise? Could you put yourself through a second breakup if things didn’t work out?*

Should you just come clean to your two best friends and ask for their advice?

“We can do all that tonight,” You assure Jungkook as you kiss the corner of his mouth and reach for the doorknob behind him. 

Jungkook smiles, nodding as he steps aside to let you by. 

“I was about to go banging on your door!” Jimin huffs as you and Jungkook sit at the table with Jimin and Yoongi. 

“So dramatic,” you mutter as you stab a cube of watermelon from Jimin’s plate. 

Yoongi looks at Jungkook with a frown. “I see you’re still here.”

“Where else am I supposed to go?” Jungkook asks with a raised brow as he reaches for a roll.

“Kinda hoped our girl here would have pushed you over the balcony by now,” Yoongi huffs, a disappointed look on his face as he turns to you. “I guess there’s always tonight.”

“Yoongi,” you roll your eyes. “Be nice. This is a happy time for the two of you. We should celebrate!”

“We have been,” Jimin giggles, ignoring Yoongi’s rosy cheeks. 

“Did you bring your wedding binder?” You ask Jimin as you sip your mimosa. Jimin shakes his head but hands you his phone where he keeps a digital copy just in case. 

“Of course, you’ll have to be my maid of honor!” Jimin exclaims as he shows you his ideas for themes and colors. 

“Duh,” you grin as you scroll onto the next page on his phone. The two of you are lost in wedding planning mode but Yoongi is watching you.

Something about you seemed different and he can’t quite put his finger on it. 

Jungkook eats his lunch quietly listening to you and Jimin chatter about the wedding. He keeps one hand in his lap as he tries not to look over at you too much. It’s harder than he thought pretending you weren’t back together. He wanted to hold your hand, to lean his head on your shoulder, or to even hold a conversation with you but he knew it would be too risky. 

If it were up to him, he’d announce it to the whole ship, so that they knew you were his once again. 

However, instead, he eats his lunch and keeps to himself. 

Yoongi can’t shake the feeling. As lunch ends and the four of you head to the pool, Yoongi keeps his watchful eye on you. 

He notes the way you laugh at Jungkook’s jokes, how you seem to lean into him more as the day goes by, sharing snacks and drinks when you would have poured them on Jungkook at the start of the cruise. 

Jungkook’s longing stares are almost nonexistent. He seems to have regained the sparkle in his eye as he laughs with you and Jimin. His nose is scrunched, and his eyes are closed into pretty little half-moons. 

“Something’s off,” Yoongi whispers to himself before the four of you split to get ready for the last evening on board. 

Music played softly in the background as dinner was served to the passengers. Everyone wore their best gowns and suits. Diamonds, pearls, rubies, and all other colorful gems were in abundance on passenger’s necks and ears. 

The candlelit room gave a softer, more romantic feel to the evening as you awaited your waiter to get to your table. 

“I’m so sad it’s our last night,” Jimin pouts as he places his hand over his fiancé’s. 

“I know,” you frown. “I wish we had more time on board.”

“You can always honeymoon on a cruise,” Jungkook suggests as he reaches for his glass of water, trying to ignore Yoongi’s intense gaze. 

“Ooh, what a marvelous idea!” Jimin chirps as he claps. He turns to Yoongi with a smile, “What do you think, babe?”

Yoongi blinks once. “You’re fucking him.”

Jimin’s eyes widen as Jungkook chokes on his water. 

“What?!” Jimin is scandalized, protests sitting heavy on his tongue. He was most definitely not fucking Jungkook or anyone else for that matter. 

Yoongi looks pointedly at you, “I’m right, aren’t I?”

“Of course not!” You hiss, shaking your head as Jungkook coughs repeatedly. You pat his back gently, asking if he needs anything as his face turns red. 

“There’s something up with you two,” Yoongi states as he stares into your soul. He quirks his head to the side as he notes the way you gently rub Jungkook’s back, offering him your glass of water and checking on him again. 

“You’re back together!” Jimin exclaims as he looks at Yoongi, who is frowning now. 

“Ew, I wish you two were just fucking again,” he spits. 

“Oh, you love me,” Jungkook laughs but doesn’t deny Jimin’s allegation.

“Can we not do this right now?” You ask as you smile at the waiter approaching the table. 

Surprisingly, Yoongi and Jimin remain quiet as your dinner is set on the table. 

Jungkook stuffs his mouth with food, nearly choking so he can avoid speaking. 

Once the waiter leaves, Jimin smirks. “So, are you two back together?”

Jungkook chews noisily beside you, looking at nearby tables instead of Jimin. 

“Technically,” you answer, giggling when Jungkook pokes your side. 

“Kookie!”

“Oh, no! They’re going to be insufferable again!” Yoongi whines as he pouts. 

“I know,” Jungkook chirps. “Isn’t it wonderful?” 

Yoongi groans, but despite his outward displeasure of your revelation, inside he’s delighted to have you happy once again. 

Though he will tear Jungkook a new one if he breaks your heart again. Jimin and you won’t be able to hold him back again…

“I’m so exhausted,” you groan as you kick your heels off in your cabin. 

Jungkook is fresh out of the shower, drying his hair with a towel on his way to the bed as you unzip your dress before scurrying into the steamy bathroom with Jimin’s gift tucked behind your back. 

Jimin had insisted you walk him to his cabin despite his confused fiancé being at his side. 

“Go away, Jungkook! I’ll walk her back,” Jimin had pushed Jungkook towards your shared room, insisting he needed to talk to you. 

“What is it, Jimin?” You ask as you follow him into his room. Jimin waves you off as he lugs his suitcase in front of you.

He searches through his clothing and some of yours that he’s packed for you. He pushed everything out of the way until he finally came out with a pretty bubblegum pink gift bag. 

“What is it?” You ask with wide eyes as he hands it to you. 

“You’re welcome!” Jimin grins as he stuffs everything back into his suitcase. 

“Jimin!” You're scandalized as you see the tiny pieces of black fabric he expects you to wear for Jungkook tonight. 

Jimin shrugs. “I had hoped you’d meet some hottie on the ship and bang his brains out. The fact that it’s Jungkook works for me.”

You turn to Yoongi who shakes his head, chuckling. “Leave me out of this.”

“Go,” Jimin pushes you gently towards the door. “Fuck his brains out. Get an orgasm or six, was that the record?” 

Jimin looks over at Yoongi who holds up seven fingers. 

“Ooh, seven like that song we like. Fuck him to that,” Jimin snickers as he leads you out of his cabin and walks you to yours. 

“What if it’s too soon?” You whisper as you reach your door. 

“Only do what feels right. Whether it’s on the cruise or later on,” Jimin says. “The gift is yours regardless.”

You unlock your bedroom door, leaning against it. You hug Jimin tightly, kissing his cheek.

“Thanks, Jimin. I appreciate everything you’ve done for me,” you squeeze him once more. 

When you part, you spot Yoongi waiting for Jimin in the hall, you blow him a kiss and step into your cabin.

“Thank you, Jimin,” you whisper as you look at yourself in the mirror. You admire the way the ruffles are soft on your skin, the lace not itchy like some sets you’ve worn before. You’re thankful Jimin cut the tags off because you don’t even want to imagine how much your best friend spent on something to get you laid.

You smile, tugging on Jungkook’s shirt that you stole from his suitcase while he showered before dinner and hid in the bathroom for this moment. 

It felt surreal to be back together, and you swore you’d take things slow this time around but tonight had been so lovely. From dinner with your favorite people in the world to dancing the night away under the stars. 

Jungkook was just as he was, and you hoped he kept true to his word. You love him so much, sometimes it feels overwhelming but you’re sure he’s your person and you are his. 

Your love knows no bounds, and being back together makes your heart sing. 

“You can do this,” you tell yourself, trying to hype yourself up but it feels like the first time all over again. You had been nervous that night, spilled wine on his pants, and bonked his head with yours when you both reached for a napkin to dab at the wine. 

Jungkook ended up wearing some of your Kuromi pajama pants while his pants were in the wash. Who knew he’d look so good in them? 

Jungkook is in bed when you finally open the bathroom door. He’s shirtless, scrolling on his phone until he hears the door.

“Oh,” his doe eyes widen when he spots you in his t-shirt. You climb into bed beside him as he sets his phone on the nightstand.

“Hi,” you whisper shyly.

“Hi,” Jungkook giggles in response as you get under the covers with him. He lies on his side so he can face you, his hand rests on your hip while the other gets tucked under his pillow.

Silence envelopes the two of you, shy smiles on your lips. Your heart beats in tune with his as he pulls you closer. Your forehead rests on his, your noses brushed, and Jungkook breathed you in. 

It only takes a moment or two before his lips meet yours, kissing you softly. Slowly, your lips move with his feeling the slight pressure from his lip rings. 

You moan, gripping his bare shoulders as he tugs you over him, making you straddle his tiny waist. 

“I’ve missed you,” he breathes in between kisses and light touches. “So much.”

“Jungkook,” you whisper, afraid that speaking too loudly will pop this bubble of comfort. 

Jungkook hushes you with a finger to your lips, shaking his head befo he moves his hand to the back of your head to pull you towards him. Fiery lips meet yours as desire pools in your abdomen. 

“Fuck,” he curses gripping you tightly, afraid to let you go lest he lose you again. He’s not sure he could survive it one more time. 

“I’ve missed you. I love you. I need you.” Jungkook states as he kisses his way down your jaw towards your neck. Your fingers thread in his thick black hair, tugging as he nips at your neck. 

“I missed you,” you confess in a heady tone as he tugs the collar of the shirt to the side. He’s eager to kiss any bit of you within reach, wanting to familiarize himself with your body once more and hopefully hear those dulcet sounds he loves so much. 

Just hearing you moan his name might be enough to send him into the stars, dispersing among the sky. 

“I love you,” you admit. Jungkook pauses, his gaze locked on yours as his heart flits in his chest, a sweet grin on his lips. You kiss him. You kiss the mole on beneath his lip, the mole on his nose, the scar on his cheek, and the mole on his neck; your favorite. 

Perhaps later you’ll kiss the scar on his shoulder, the one on his ribs, and any new ones acquired in your time apart. You’ll familiarize yourself with his body once again, and become one just like you were always meant to. 

Jungkook’s hand cups your face, moaning your name as his hands grip the shirt you’re wearing. “Let’s get you out of this, love.”

You nod, raising your arms to aid him. 

“Wow!” Jungkook exclaims, admiring the lace that barely covers your body. He tongues his lip rings, his eyes dark and hooded as you grab his hands to place on your hips. 

“Don’t just stare, baby.” 

Jungkook nods, smiling as he pecks your lips before you guide his hands to your breasts. 

His fingers toy with the string tying the two cups together, knowing he could easily get this undone. 

Without a second thought, Jungkook easily flips the two of you over. You giggle when your head meets the pillows, your body caged between Jungkook’s broad shoulders and deliciously thick arms. You run your hands over his bicep, clenching around nothing when he flexes for you. 

The list of things you’d love to do to him is endless but right now all you can focus on is him and the needy whimper that escapes him when his cock rubs against your cunt. 

“I don’t want to rush,” Jungkook admits but a roll of your hips has him seeing stars. 

Your hand laces with his, your thumb gently stroking his skin. “We can go slow, babe.”

Jungkook nods as he kisses you again, his hand cupping your cheek as your legs wind around his hips to pull him closer. Your name escapes him in a groan, the sound shooting straight to your cunt. Your eyes flutter shut as you curse, kissing him hungrily as your nails drag down his back. Jungkook kisses you feverishly, his tongue meeting yours, sucking it into his mouth. He pulls back, nipping your lip before he kisses his way down your body until he settles between your tits. 

“I’ve missed these fucking tits,” Jungkook grunts as you tug his hair.

“Kook!”

He smirks, “Soon, baby. Be patient.”

“It’s been six months,” you whine as you tug his hair again, earning a tiny bite on your wrist. 

“I know,” he responds, kissing your sternum. “But we have all night and I want these in my mouth.” 

Jungkook grabs the black string between his teeth and tugs until the bow comes undone. Your breasts are exposed as the thin lace material goes in opposite directions. 

It feels like heaven when his lips meet your heated skin. His soft lips draw out the sweetest moans from your parted lips with each kiss pressed to your skin. 

“So beautiful,” Jungkook whispers as his eyes meet yours for a brief moment. He grins when you whine his name, begging him to keep going. 

Jungkook aims to please as he takes a hard nipple into his mouth. He swirls his tongue around it slowly, gently tugging on it to make you groan before he sucks it into his mouth. 

His hand grips your other breast, rolling your nipple between his fingertips before he switches. 

Your nails scratch at his scalp, gripping his hair to hold him closer to your tit. He sucks until your legs clamp around him, your hips writhing as you grind against him. 

You’re soaking wet, dripping through your lingerie and soaking his sweatpants. 

“Stop teasing me,” you plead as you arch into him, head lolled back as your hair splays on the pillow. 

Chuckling, Jungkook releases you before he licks and sucks his way down your body until he’s gripping your hips with his hands. He tugs you onto his lap.

“I love you so much, baby,” Jungkook says as runs his hand over your mound. He pressed his index finger to your pussy, teasing you for a moment before he undoes the bows on your hips. 

You lay bare underneath him. He’s transfixed by your arousal slick on your thighs, and he licks his lips. Fuck, he’s missed you so much. 

“I love you, Koo,” you respond as he grips each of your thighs in his hands. He lies flat on his stomach as he drags you closer, draping your legs over his shoulders. 

His tongue is flat as he licks a stripe on your folds. His tight hold on your thighs makes you moan as he teases your clit with his tongue. 

A sigh escapes you as you stare at the ceiling, thighs trembling as Jungkook buries himself in the apex of your legs. Your hand reaches for his, fingers laced as he continues to feast on you. The sounds that escape the two of you are lewd, and if you weren’t so focused on the pleasure you’d be embarrassed by how loud you were being. 

“That’s it, baby. Pull my fucking hair,” Jungkook encourages as you do as he’s asked. You squeeze his head between your thighs as his experienced tongue makes you cry out his name, covering your mouth with your hand to muffle your pleasurable cries. 

“Don’t,” Jungkook huffs as he licks his lips. His dark gaze makes you clench around nothing as you focus on him. His lips and nose shine with your arousal, his hair is in disarray from all your tugging and pulling, and his eyes darken further as he moves your hand off your mouth. “I want to hear how good I make you feel. I want all your moans. I want everything.”

You nod, cursing as he slides two fingers into you and you arch, moaning when his thumb rubs your clit in circles. Jungkook kisses your thighs, his lips joining his fingers soon after. 

Heat races through your veins as Jungkook curls your fingers, watching you intently as you begin to unravel. Your breathing has changed, your moans have risen in octave, and you dig your nails into his shoulder as your orgasm hits, and your back arches off the bed as a loud moan of his name fills the room. 

Jungkook rubs himself on the mattress, your moans going straight to his cock as his chest fills with pride. 

“Kookie,” you whine when the last tremors of your orgasm leave you feeling overstimulated.

Giggling, Jungkook kisses your clit before sitting up between your legs. His hands move up and down your thighs, settling on your hips. 

“It’s been so long,” he admits in a soft tone. “Way too long.”

You sit up, cupping his face in your hands. Your noses brush as you look him in the eyes. 

“Let’s make up for lost time.”

Nodding, Jungkook kisses you gently, falling deeper in love, if that were possible. With each kiss, he promises to be a better man for you, to be the one you deserve. 

“Lie down for me, baby,” you instruct as you get on your knees to allow your “beefcake” of a boyfriend to take your spot. Perhaps you should have laid down a towel before ensuing your activities but it was too late now. 

With Jungkook beneath you, your hands are free to roam where they please. You straddle him, your bare cunt on his erection with only the sweatpants keeping you from feeling him. Soon, you promise yourself. Soon.

A kiss here, a kiss there. You kiss each of his moles, licking and sucking his skin beside his neck mole to leave a pretty little mark. Perhaps you’d be more cautious, knowing he’d have work soon but you don’t care in the moment. You’d cover him in love bites from head to toe if you could. 

Your finger traces the scar on his shoulder, and Jungkook watches you with bated breath. When you kiss it, he gives a quick anecdote of how it happened before you move across his chest to the scar on his ribs. You trace it as Jungkook fills you in on what occurred. 

Your hands run over his chest, feeling the strong muscles beneath. Jungkook’s always had a wonderful body. Such a beautiful man, inside and out. Everything about him makes you fall for him even more. 

Your lips trail kisses down his taut abdomen, leaving hickeys on his hips, near his navel, and below his scar. 

Teasingly, you stroke his hard cock over his sweatpants. He moans your name, begging you not to tease him. You giggle, kissing his cock over the sweatpants before slowly tugging them down his thighs. 

You help him take them off before wrapping your hand around him, but your fingers still don’t meet. You smile as you stroke him, his soft whimpers making you wet. 

“So pretty like this,” you coo, and Jungkook gasps when you spit on his cock. 

“Please, baby,” he pleads as you lower your mouth, kissing the underside of his dick. 

“You can beg better than that, can’t you?” You smirk.

Jungkook nods hastily, begging for you to touch him and stop teasing him. You reward him by wrapping your lips around his cock, your tongue swirling around the leaking head. 

“Fuck,” Jungkook groans as you slowly bob up and down his length. His hand finds its way into your hair, gently gripping it to steady himself. 

You start slow, ignoring the ache in your knees as you slurp and tongue at his slit. His moans flow prettily from his pretty pink lips as you take more of him in your mouth. You do your best to take all of him but you gag, spluttering around him as you focus on breathing through your nose. 

“Don’t push yourself too hard,” Jungkook breathes as his eyes roll back when he hits the your throat and you choke on him before pulling off. A bridge of saliva connects your lips to his cock as your eyes water before you take him back in. 

You spit on him, using your hand to stroke him while taking his balls in your mouth. Jungkook curses, eyes squeezed shut as the knot in his stomach tightened. Fuck, if he didn’t know any better, he’d be sure you were torturing him to get back at him. 

But you want to please him, you’ve missed having him just like this. 

His whimpers encourage you as you release him, kissing the head of his cock once more before you bob up and down his length.

It’s Jungkook who stops you with a tug of your hair, wiping the tear that rubs down your cheek. 

“I’ll cum down your throat if you keep going, my love,” he chuckles as you release him petulantly.

“But I want more,” you pout as Jungkook kisses you, his hand on the back of your head as yours winds around his neck. 

“So greedy,” he chuckles before kissing your nose. “Don’t worry, I am too.”

“How do you want me, Koo?” You ask bashfully as you sit back on your knees, ready to get into any position he desires. 

“Lay down for me, baby. I want to look at you while we make love again,” Jungkook helps you lie down beneath him. 

His fingers lace with yours when you settle under him. Your heart races in your chest as he kisses you gently.. 

You spread your legs further for him, wrapping them around his waist to pull him closer. Jungkook lines his cock at your entrance, moaning when he slides home.

“Fuck,” he grunts as you curse against his lips. “Fuck, love.”

“I know,” you sigh as you take all of him, the stretch delectable as you remember. Your eyes roll to the back of your head as you free your hand from his to grip his forearm. “Fuck, Kook.”

Jungkook tongues his lip piercings as he watches pleasure overcome you. He gives you a moment to adjust to his length. Your nails dig into his arm for a moment before your lustful gaze meets his.

“More,” you plead in a whisper as Jungkook pushes a little deeper, bottoming out when you feel like he’ll reach your throat.

Fire blooms in your belly, desire swirling deep inside you as you kiss Jungkook.

Jungkook pulls out nearly all the way before sliding back into you. Your back arches as he sets a pace that makes you moan incoherently. He kisses you, all teeth and tongues, and dulcet moans.

His lips trail kisses to your neck, sucking and biting, leaving marks behind as he moves his greedy lips to your breasts.

Jungkook’s broad frame cages you beneath him, his hips meeting yours as the lewd sounds of your lovemaking fill the room. 

“Jungkook!” you cry out as you drag your nails down his perfect back. 

“Baby,” he moans, slamming into you again and again, enthralled by the way your tits jiggle with each of his thrusts. You tighten around him, biting back a guttural moan as fire courses through your veins.

“So fucking wet for me,” Jungkook praises. His hand moves between your bodies to rub your clit while his lips find your tits. 

“Love you. I love you,” you gasp as he grabs your hips, squeezing as he pulls you onto his cock.

“I love you,” he responds, groaning when your thighs quiver at his sides. You whimper, eyes fluttering shut as his name rolls off your tongue in a heady tone that makes his head spin. 

“Jungkook, fuck,” you can’t think straight, too overwhelmed with pleasure to warn him of your approaching orgasm, but this is Jungkook, he knows you better than you know yourself.

“I know, baby. I’ve got you,” he assures you as your hips meet his, and his lips meet yours in a messy kiss that swallows your moans as you hit your high. Your body tightens for a moment, your cunt milking Jungkook as he moans your name into your neck.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” he whines as he fucks you through your orgasm and then through his. Sweat beads on your forehead and his. His black hair sticks to his face as he rocks his hips, sure he’s fucked you full of his seed before he pulls out and lays at your side.

Silence envelopes you two for a moment before you’re giggling with each other.

“Fuck, that was amazing,” you grin foolishly as you roll onto your side to face Jungkook, who is already watching you.

“Definitely,” he agrees, his hand pushing your hair out of your eyes. “You’re amazing.”

“Don’t get cheesy with me,” you poke his chest, smiling when he bites your finger playfully.

“You love it when I’m cheesy,” Jungkook responds as he pulls you to his chest. You’re both hot, and sticky with sweat but you’re willing to ignore it for now, at least until you can drag yourself up to use the bathroom and shower again.

“I love you,” you confirm as you place your hand in his. He laces your fingers together, moving your joined hands over his heart, kissing them.

“I love you too, baby. I always have, and I always will.” Jungkook swears as you lay your head on his chest, beside your joined hands, falling asleep to the sound of his heart beating for you.

The next morning is a haze.

You wake with Jungkook draped around you, his leg over your hip as he snores by your ear. You hate to wake him, but after you fell asleep, Jungkook had to wake you to shower, clean up, and change the sheets.

“Don’t get up,” Jungkook whines in his sleepy tone. “Stay with me.”

“We leave in a few hours and we haven’t packed,” you remind him. Jungkook groans as he clings to you.

You kiss him, morning breath not bothering you. “You’ll get more kisses if you get up.”

Jungkook whines. “No up, just kiss.”

“That’s not how this will work,” you laugh as you wiggle out of his grasp. Jungkook sighs as he sits up, his adorable bedhead makes you smile.

Lazily, Jungkook gets out of bed, yawning as he heads to the bathroom to brush his teeth and style his hair.

“I don’t wanna leave,” he says, well, you think that’s what he said with his toothbrush in his mouth. You shake your head when he spits into the sink as you pack your belongings in your bag, including the tiny pieces of fabric Jimin gifted you.

“We can vacation again soon,” you tell him as you shut your bag, and tug on the zippers to close it. It’s funny how you didn’t even want to come on this cruise, and now you weren’t sure you wanted to leave. However, you’d come without Jungkook and now you were leaving with him at your side.

Perhaps this trip hadn’t been so bad after all.

“I’ll hold you to it, babe. Now, when are we having breakfast? I’m hungry as hell after last night,” Jungkook wiggles his eyebrows suggestively. “And this morning.”

You laugh at him, throwing a shirt at him.

Jungkook ducks out of the way, cackling as he shuts the bathroom door.

Jimin and Yoongi meet you for breakfast. The two are in their bubble as you approach with Jungkook at your side.

You sit beside Jimin, kissing his cheek. “Thanks for the gift.”

Jimin brightens, “You used it?”

Jungkook and Yoongi look at each other confused.

“Used what?” Jungkook asks as he takes a biscuit from the basket on the table. He bites into it before Jimin answers.

“The lingerie.”

Jungkook chokes on his biscuit, hitting his chest with his fist before he forces himself to swallow. Yoongi hands him a glass of juice, and Jungkook thanks him with a thumbs-up.

“You’re so back together!” Jimin cheers as he hugs you tightly. Yoongi rolls his eyes in annoyance, but a pleased smile appears on his lips.

“Can we stop talking about them fucking and move onto our wedding plans?” Yoongi asks as he stifles a yawn.

“How about a destination wedding?” you offer as you rub Jungkook’s back soothingly. He smiles weakly at you, his cheeks pink.

“I like the way you think,” Jimin grins as he rattles off ideas with you and Yoongi. Jungkook is too focused on breakfast to offer any input, but he’s sure you’ll catch him up on the way home. 

Things were looking up for him.

Jungkook would have to give his assistant a bonus upon his return. 

~

“Do we have to go?” Jungkook whines as he wraps his arm around your waist. 

Jimin and Yoongi are packing the bags into the trunk of your airport shuttle. 

“We do, work awaits,” you remind him as he frowns. 

“What if we take a few days for ourselves? Just the two of us?” Jungkook questions. 

“Oh?” You raise a brow. “What did you have in mind?” 

“It’ll be a surprise until we get to the airport,” Jungkook smiles brightly. “I want you all to myself for just a little longer.”

“Then I am all yours,” you rest your head on his chest as he leads you to your friends. 

“Ready to go?” Yoongi asks as he shuts the trunk. 

“Definitely,” you answer as you take Jungkook's hand in yours. 

You’re not sure what the future holds for the both of you, but you’re hopeful it’ll be bright with Jungkook at your side once more. 

© jjungkookislife - I do not allow reposts or translations of my work on any platforms, this includes Youtube.

[heartmaddie]

parfum d'étoiles | k.akaashi

"you're the only friend i need - sharing beds like little kids, and laughing 'til our ribs get tired, but that will never be enough."

parfum d'étoiles is an old playlist made by two childhood friends who drifted apart ever so suddenly after a small misunderstanding at the end of high school. now, two years later, her tumultuous presence is intertwined with his once again, and although everything’s different, the two can’t help but miss what they used to be. they’re both lost in the comfort of the past and stuck between choosing each other or the future which awaits them. but everything has to change eventually, right?

akaashi keiji x fem!reader

trope; childhood friends to lovers

warnings; modern au, characters are alluded to be in university , miscommunication , angst , fluff , slightly suggestive , ooc , swearing , intoxication/alcohol. warnings will be displayed at the beginning of each chapter.

main playlist | akaashi's playlist | yn's playlist | moodboard

introductions; hysteric glamouristas | the miseducation of bokuakakurotsukkiken

track one; parfum d'étoiles

track two; sarah

track three; ARE WE STILL FRIENDS?

track four; show me how

track five; i know it's over

track six; pale september

track seven; girl song

track eight; blue light

track nine; but not kiss

track ten; i bet on losing dogs

track eleven; アラベスク （arabesque）

track twelve; bouquet

track thirteen; YEAH RIGHT

track fourteen; just like a woman

track fifteen; shadowboxer

track sixteen ; the thrill of loneliness

track seventeen; jonny

track eighteen; rose blood

track nineteen; ribs

track twenty; in a good way

track twenty one; lovesong

epilouge; moon river

please consider liking , reblogging or following if you enjoyed send an ask or reply to this post if you'd like to be on the taglist :p

©heartmaddie all rights reserved. please do not repost my work.

[dr-spencer-reids-queen]

Not-So Secretive Rendezvous

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~2k

Warnings: smut, fem!receiving, age gap

Request by anon: I'd love a Spencer X Fem Reader thing,  say season 3-4 prince charming hair version ya know?  That era is totally hot.  Anyway, reader is Hotch's sister or Daughter, 10 year age gap between reader & Spence.  I'm a total sucker for a forbidden, sneaking, secretive thing with them getting caught in a very compromising position.  Hotch is fine with it but disappointed they didn't clear it with him. Maybe she works in the BAU but maybe not?  Some hot spice with his awkward self.  I always have a thought of him being so awkward around women in social situations like with JJ in the baseball game stuff, but with his Eidetic memory he definitely knows how to please women for sure.   Any other details i'll leave you with free rein!

Summary: You and Spencer are a new couple that is hiding your relationship from the team for two reasons. Hotch is your dad and Spencer is ten years older than you are. That doesn’t stop you from being with him. Not your dad and certainly not an office full of people.

Square Filled: public sex/voyeurism (2021) for @cm-kinkbingo

Author’s Note: any and all comments are appreciated <3

x

There are two reasons why you’re at the BAU--Spencer and Hotch. This is the place you want to work when you have the proper training and have done everything that’s required of you. You graduated high school before summer started and now you’re taking college classes with a degree in criminal justice while also getting in some hours at the police academy. It doesn’t hurt that your dad is the unit chief of the BAU, but you try not to let that affect how well you’re doing in and out of school.

The other reason is Spencer Reid. You two immediately hit it off when you first met and he’s been showing you around as much as he can without getting in trouble. He can’t tell you much about the cases the team has but he can give you advice and pointers for when you get a job here. Derek helps you with the physical stuff while Spencer is your own personal library book that just so happens to have all the answers you’re searching for.

After a few months of visiting your dad and the team, you and Spencer developed a relationship that only you two know about. Keeping your relationships a secret isn’t something you normally do because if you like someone, you’re all about showing them off to everyone. However, you and Spencer are ten years apart in age, and you don’t think your dad will appreciate his eighteen-year-old daughter hooking up with his twenty-eight-year-old subordinate.

It’s not a big deal to you and Spencer since you’re not newly eighteen. It’s September and you turned eighteen back in January. He’s been so good to you and is such a gentleman. He’s a romantic and loves taking you out on dates as much as he can. Your favorite date is when he puts a tent on the roof of his building, makes everything for a picnic, and you two spend the night stargazing there.

Unlike now when your visit is anything but romantic.

It’s been over a week since you’ve seen Spencer and you’re craving his touch. You’re not normally a sex-crazed teenager but you’re ovulating and you really need to feel his body on yours. You’re not ready for kids and you don’t know if or when you will be, so you’ll be using condoms because it’s a terrible time to get pregnant.

Not to mention your dad will quite literally kill Spencer.

“Hey, Y/N, what are you doing here?” Derek asks when he sees you.

“Just wanted to stop by to say hi. I hear the B Team is out right now so what better time to come?”

“Your dad is in his office.”

“Where’s Spencer.”

“Bathroom.”

“Okay, I’ll wait for him. Thanks.”

You turn to leave but Derek stops you.

“Hey, we’re still on for tomorrow, right?”

“Yeah, I’m ready to learn that new self-defense technique.”

You walk straight for Spencer’s desk only to walk right past it and toward the bathrooms. Derek smirks and shakes his head knowing you’re not here to see your dad at all. Spencer comes out of the bathroom with his phone in his hand so he doesn’t see you right away. You open the door to an empty office and wait for him to pass by it before grabbing his arm and pulling him inside.

“Wha--?” He looks up and smiles when he sees it’s you. “Hey, baby. I didn’t know you were coming today.” You close and lock the door before shutting the blinds so that no one can look inside. “What are you doing?”

“Come here.”

You pull Spencer in and kiss him without warning, and he grips your hips not too hard. He gets lost in the kiss before the alarm bells ring in his head.

“Wait, wait, wait.” Spencer pulls away from you but you’re not done kissing him. You back up into the desk and sit on it while kissing down his neck. “Not that I’m not happy to see you but we can’t do this here.”

“Why not? Don’t you want me?”

“Of course I do.”

“Then get me naked and fuck me.” It’s hard to think when all Spencer is thinking about is getting you naked. He’s not a sex machine who wants it all the time but it has been a week since he’s seen you, and the last case he went on was very stressful. “School has been stressing me out and I really just want some dirty sex with you.”

You don’t have to tell him twice. He spreads your legs and steps in between them before kissing you again. He runs his hands down your thighs and back up, only to slip them underneath your dress. You wanted to make sure you gave Spencer easy access. He expected to feel a barrier between his fingers and your pussy but there is none.

“You’re not wearing any panties?”

“I came here for one thing and one thing only,” you grin. “I wanted to make this easier for you.”

Spencer rolls his head back and cracks his neck before sinking to his knees. He’s not an expert in this department but he’s read enough books and watched enough amateur porn to know what he’s doing. He places a hand on your chest, pushes you down onto the desk, and bunches your dress around your waist.

“Remember, we’re at work and your dad’s office is right down the hall. You gotta be quiet.”

You’re about to respond when Spencer latches onto your clit. You slap a hand over your mouth to muffle the moan that slips out. It would be a disaster if your dad found out about this… or anyone. He kitten licks your clit and circles it before sliding his tongue down to your slit. He straightens his tongue and pushes inside of you, and his right-hand hooks up and over your leg so that he can rub your clit in hard fast circles.

“Fuck, Spencer, right there,” you gasp quietly.

“God, you taste so good,” he mumbles. “I can’t ever get enough.”

You reach down and slide your fingers into his hair before tugging on it gently. This is the exact reason why he’s been growing his hair out. He loves it when you tug on his hair. His mouth and fingers switch positions so that he’s sucking on your clit and sliding a finger into your tight hole. You squeal a bit loudly at the sudden change in pressure, and you bite down on your lower lip to prevent yourself from crying out again.

“Please, Spencer, I need more,” you moan.

He slides in another finger and curls them both so that he’s touching the spot that makes you see stars.

“Are you close?”

“Yes, fuck, yes.”

“Do you want to come?”

“Yes, please, Spencer,” you moan.

“Go ahead, darling.”

He gives a particularly hard suck on your clit that makes you come all over his face. He removes his fingers and laps up every drop you give him before standing to his full height.

“God, you’re so good at that.” You pull him down and kiss him, not minding that you can taste yourself on his lips. “I need to come again. I have a condom in the pocket of my dress.”

“You’re so needy,” he grins but doesn’t refuse you.

He pulls away and takes the condom you give him before unbuckling his pants. He’s always awkward at this part because he still can’t believe that he has someone who is interested in him like this. He’s not ripped like Derek or as confident as him but you like him because he’s none of those things. You love how socially awkward he is. You love his ramblings. You especially love it when he tells you random facts that have you questioning how he came to know that in the first place.

Spencer pulls his cock out and you almost salivate at the sight of it. You’ve given him blow jobs before but there will never be a time when you don’t want to suck him off. However this time, you just need him to be in you. He takes out the condom from the package and carefully rolls it onto his hard cock.

“Are you sure you want to do this?”

“Yes, Spencer, please. Just get in me.”

You spread your legs wider and allow him to step closer to you. He pumps himself twice before lining himself up at your entrance. You toss your head back and gasp at the one… three… seven inches of him until he is fully seated inside of you.

“Let me know when you’re ready,” Spencer groans.

“I’m ready. Please, Spencer,” you beg.

He doesn’t want to be too loud so he doesn’t fuck you as hard as he wants to. He starts at a normal pace before slowly picking up speed, and you’re trying to stop the moans from coming out but failing. He covers your mouth with his hand as if that will stop you from moaning his name.

It’s been a long and stressful time for you both so it doesn’t take long for the two of you to get close to the edge.

“Fuck, I’m gonna come.” Hearing Spencer swear when he normally doesn’t is so hot. He hates swearing since he has such a big range of vocabulary that he can use, but he can’t help it when you feel like Heaven. “Are you close?” You nod wordlessly since Spencer’s hand is still over your mouth. “Come with me. One.” Thrust. “Two.” Thrust. “Three.”

You explode all over him just as he fills the condom up. He rides out both your highs as much as he can before slowing down. He removes his hand and you gasp when you feel him start to pull out of you.

“I don’t know how you haven’t had more girlfriends before,” you laugh as you pant.

“It’s usually my incessant need to ramble that drives them away.”

He takes the condom off and ties it at the end before pocketing it., He doesn’t want anyone to find it in the trashcan so he’ll throw it out in the dumpster outside.

“Have you seen Y/N? I saw her come in earlier.”

You freeze when you hear your dad’s voice outside the office.

“I think she went to see Garcia. You should ask her,” Rossi responds from right by the door. You hear your dad walk away before Rossi knocks twice on the door. “You two aren’t very quiet or sneaky.”

“Shit, I should go,” you giggle. You fix your dress and Spencer tucks himself back into his pants. The room smells like sex but you’re sure it will air out by the time anyone else comes in here. “I love you and I can’t wait to see you on Sunday.”

You lean in and kiss Spencer before unlocking the door.

“I love you, too,” Spencer grins. “We should do this again sometime.”

“Oh, we definitely are.” You open the door and notice Rossi is in the break room. You make sure the coast is clear before leaving the office. You turn the corner and go crashing into your dad. “Daddy, hi. I was just looking for you. Someone said you wanted to see me?”

Hotch looks up and sees Spencer leave the office from which you just came out. He didn’t bother fixing his hair as much as he should have so it’s a big messed up from how much you were tugging on it, and your lipstick is a bit smudged from Spencer’s hand over your mouth.

Hotch isn’t an idiot.

“My office. Now.”

You look up to see him looking at someone behind you. You look back and see Spencer staring at Hotch with wide, fearful eyes.

“Daddy, listen--”

“Don’t you have a class to go study for? Reid, now.”

“Yes, sir,” he nods and scurries past you to get to his office.

“Daddy, I love him. Please don’t kill him. I’ll talk to you later.”

You leave before your dad can say anything else. Hotch isn’t mad that Spencer is seeing his daughter. He’s upset that you two hid it from him. He’s not gonna kill Spencer but it is sure going to be fun to watch him squirm because he thinks he is.

x

Want to be tagged? Follow my library blog @aqueenslibrary​​​​​​ where I reblog all my stories, so you can put notifications on there without the extra stuff :)

[hellenhighwater]

i have. no idea what art prize is? but your blog is very cool and my brother lives in gr so i could easily drive over there to visit him and cast a vote for you :)

Huh, yeah, I guess I haven't explained it really.

ArtPrize is a city-wide art show/competition in Grand Rapids, Michigan, which happens annually in September. It lasts a little more than half the month, and it usually involves somewhere around 500+ pieces of art, ranging in scale from handmade pots to building-sized murals to large-scale art installations. The venues that host the art are generally business, parks, or public spaces across the city. There's somewhere in the range of $600,000 in prize/grant money this year, spread out across categories. There's also parades, live events--it's a little like a citywide festival.

There's three direct ways for an artist to get money out of ArtPrize. The first is by receiving a grant, which I did! There's a limited number of grants available, (I think ten?) most of them for $2,000. Which is both a lot of money and also not that much, when you're factoring in things like costs of lumber to build display pedestals, studio fees, etc. $2,000 mostly covers what it's cost me to participate. (Of course, costs of competition vary a huge amount from artist to artist! It depends entirely on what you're making.) It's a huge gift (and a big vote of confidence) to get the grant I did.

Second, you can win a juried award for your category. Juried awards are selected by a panel of judges from the professional art world, and they choose based on the more academic criteria that art is generally judged by. There's a $10,000 cash prize for the jury award winner in each category of art, 2D, 3D, installation, time-based, new media, and design. I'm in the 3D category! It's one of the bigger categories, so competition is stiff.

For every $10,000 juried award category, there's also a public vote award! This is the bit I will be bothering all of the locals about. Anyone who visits the geographic range of ArtPrize (a specific area of the city that they map out) and gets out their smartphone, logs in to the website, and scans a QR code can vote once a day for an artwork. (You only have to be in the city the first time you vote, you can keep voting once a day from wherever you are after that. ) There were about 30,000 votes cast by the public last year, out of 700,000 attendees.

But the headliner is the Public Vote Grand Prize, for the art piece in any category that gets the most votes--a cash prize of $125,000. It's a lot! I don't know that I have any real chance at winning that but I will be trying my best!

So, if you go, you'll find my art at the Atrium by Uccello's, and I'll be asking you to vote for this series.

[rieamena]

don't you dare—!

day 30 of inotober'24

a drabble (i think thats what its called) of takuma ino giving you the silent treatment

fem aligned reader

riea's comments: i need him carnally. like i need him so bad you don't even know. where was i in life before i knew him??? wrote and edited this in an hour and a half btw back in SEPTEMBER (clap for me). it was so hard, i mean SO hard, waiting for this to drop. hope yall enjoy it tho

i'm not here to lie. there's no way on earth that takuma would willingly give you the silent treatment. you??? his lovely girlfriend who he would do absolutely anything for?? yeah no way. he'd rather get kicked in the balls ten million times than ever ignore you. buuutttt then satoru cheekily says to "just try it! do it as a prank!" so here you were

the day started with you two waking up side by side in your shared bed. the plush fabric and soft warmth of the blanket wrapped around your bodies as takuma clung tightly to you. your eyes fluttered open, meeting takuma's instantly. "good morning," you mumble, feeling the light circles your boyfriend was rubbing into your back. he stares at you for a few seconds and then leaves the bed. that's when you realized the majority of the warmth wasn't coming from the blanket, it was coming from takuma

and now you're cold.

and alone.

in the bed you share.

with your boyfriend.

the mornings usually went like this: wake up, gaze into each other's eyes deeply, take a shower together while talking about the latest drama at work, brush teeth, do each other's skincare while trying so hard not to laugh so that the masks wouldn't slip off, make breakfast intimately, eat breakfast just as intimately, etcetera etcetera etcetera. you get it. i might've exaggerated some parts but that doesn't matter

but now… instead of that routine being done together like two people in love, it was done apart like a married couple on the edge of divorce. separate showers, even though he waited for you to start brushing his teeth, he turned around and did his own skincare. like?!!? but truth be told, you knew something was up once he got all rigid instead of melting in your arms like he usually did when you both woke up

breakfast was harder on him than it was on you. yes, it was sad that your boyfriend was playing a prank on you but really the joke is more on him. i mean you could see how his nails dug into his palms when he almost talked to you. you're starting to think he's a masochist. like that time when takuma tried no nut november last year. he waited up just to see the clock hit midnight and he made you promise not to tempt or tease him. short story even shorter, 12:01 am on november 1st, he was bridal style carrying you to the bedroom and you didn't even have to do anything

once you both finished eating your breakfast, takuma stood up to go to his office. he may call it his office, but in reality all he did was fool around and play games and during these times you would be sitting all pretty on his lap. you made eye contact with him and never broke it when he was going into the room. you heard the creak of his rolling chair as he sat down on it. seemingly unbothered, you turned your attention back onto your phone. your boyfriend was stealing not so secret glances at you, trying to telepathically tell you that he should be peppering kisses to your nape as he teaches you how to play the next section of the game he's on. in his mind, takuma had hoped that you would remember this part of your morning routine and follow him to his office, but since he's giving you the silent treatment, you decided not to do anything about it. and once you felt takuma's eyes land on your figure for the nth time, you decided to move perfectly out of sight onto the couch. and just like clockwork,

"I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE."

a shout bounces off the apartment walls, reaching your ears with ease. next to reach your ears were heavy stomps, getting louder and louder as they reached closer and closer. a heavy weight envelopes your body as you suck in air in surprise. light, feathered kisses consume your neck and face as your boyfriend mumbles apologies. "'m sorry baby... it was so hard... please believe me..."

you pull his head from the crevice of your neck and squish his face, "i missed you." mimicking your motions, takuma brought his lips to yours, "i missed you too. so bad. you don't even know."

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[bradshawsvinyl]

Begin Again

Part two.

As a first grade teacher, you couldn’t help but fall for your sweet student and her very attractive Navy fighter pilot father.

based off an ask! (screenshot at the bottom.)

You woke up on September 6th joyful and excited. It was your first day as a first grade teacher in San Diego. You had wanted to be an elementary school teacher for as long as you could remember and after six years of schooling, you were finally ready.

Your first day teaching went well. You and your students played games and got to know each other. By three thirty all of your students were picked up except one.

Tara Bradshaw was a little girl with brown curly hair and big brown eyes. No one had come to pick her up yet so you decided to stay behind with her for a while and try to get in contact with her parents.

“Hey Tara,” you said while kneeling down to her level in the pick up area. “Let’s go back inside okay? I’ll call your parents and remind them to come get you.”

“Okay.” Tara replied hesitantly while grabbing your hand. “Can you call my daddy?”

“Of course I can, sweetheart.” You replied “Let’s go.”

The walk back to your classroom was short. While Tara made herself comfortable at her desk, you picked up her file and phoned the number.

“Hello,” A deep voice answered after the third ring.

“Hi. I’m Tara’s first grade teacher at school and I was just calling to ask if there was someone available to pick her up? School ended at three o'clock and she’s still here with me.” You said politely.

“Shit,” The deep voice replied. “I’m so sorry. I’m at work right now. I completely forgot. I’ll be there in ten minutes.”

“No worries,” you replied kindly. “Bye.” You said quickly before hanging up.

Bradley hung up his phone and quickly made his way to the school. He couldn’t believe he had forgotten to pick up Tara. He felt like the worst father in the world.

Tara’s mom left Bradley when Tara was only two years old and he hasn’t heard from her since. Being a single father was hard for him. He was the only one in charge of taking Tara to school, bringing her home, feeding her and more.

Bradley got to the school within ten minutes and quickly made his way inside. After visiting the main office, he found your classroom. He knocked on the door. “Thank you so much for staying with her. I can’t believe I forgot.” He said as Tara started running towards him.

“It happens,” you replied sweetly. “No worries I promise!”

Bradley knelt down to Tara and said, “I’m so sorry, sweetheart.”

Tara hugged him and said, “It’s ok daddy.”

You watched the heartwarming scene. Feeling a sense of fulfillment that you had seemingly helped a stressed out Bradley. As Bradley stood to leave with Tara, he glanced at you and couldn’t help but notice your warm eyes and polite smile.

“You know,” he said sheepishly, “Tara’s lucky to have such a caring and uh…cute teacher like you.”

You chuckled softly, feeling flustered. “Thank you Bradley. I’m just happy I got to spend some extra time with Tara today.”

“Yeah well thanks,” He replied “Tara say bye to your teacher.”

“Bye bye!” She said as Bradley gathered Tara’s belongings and smiled at you, leaving a bright blush and flutter in your stomach.

“Jesus Christ Bradshaw,” Bradley said as he buckled Tara into her car seat. “Get it together.”

Bradley couldn’t believe he had been stupid enough to call you cute. You were his daughter's teacher and here he was hitting on you. He couldn’t believe what he had done.

As Tara napped on the short drive to their house. Bradley called his best friend, Phoenix.

“I’m so stupid,” he said into the phone as soon as she picked up.

“No hi Bradshaw?” She replied, the hint of a smile in her voice. “What did you do this time?”

“I picked Tara up from school late and then I called her teacher cute.” He said, sounding slightly frustrated with himself.

On the other side of the phone, Phoenix burst out laughing. “Oh my god Rooster.” She said, still laughing. “Well was she pretty.”

“Of course she was pretty, Nat. She might be the most beautiful woman I've seen in a long time” Bradley said as he recalled your sweet face. “Look, I just got home and I have to bring Tara inside. I’ll call you later.”

“If she really is that cute, don't worry about it, Rooster.” Phoenix said before hanging up.

To Bradley’s surprise, Tara was awake in the backseat. As they both went inside their home, Bradley couldn’t help but worry about how he was going to face you tomorrow. Embarrassed couldn't even describe how he felt.

The next school day went by quickly. You again woke up early and made the drive to work. Your students seemed excited about the lessons today, and you felt proud that you were able to get them to like you. You were trying to distract yourself from the voice in your head that was seemingly screaming BRADLEY CALLED YOU HOT.

Bradley Bradshaw was attractive. You couldn’t deny that. He had loose, curly brown hair and big puppy dog eyes. But it was probably wildly inappropriate to have a crush on your student's father. For all you knew, Bradley was married.

But you hadn’t seen a ring. And for some reason, that excited you.

At dismissal today, Tara was the last student to get picked up. But at least Bradley wasn’t extremely late today.

When Tara caught sight of her dad, she began jumping up and down. Once her father was in earshot, she turned to you and proudly said, “My daddy thinks you’re pretty!”

Here’s the ask!

I’ll make a part two if people are interested!

[lovecla]

TAKE YOUR PAIN AWAY | quinn hughes.

00.1. the first time you saw quinn hughes.

➴ chapter warnings: mentions of shitty family.

➴ word count: 1.08k

💌 from me to you: this has been sitting on my drafts for days because i wasn’t brave enough to post it. but this story is very important to me and i promised myself i’d stop doubting what i write and just go for it. i hope with all my heart u guys like this ♡

౨ৎ

2013, SEPTEMBER.

THE first time you saw Quinn Hughes you were eleven years old.

Your family had just bought the house next to his, a beautiful four bedroom house with lots of space and a beautiful backyard— the perfect house for a family of four.

It was a week after you all settled in, your Dad as a Sports Medicine Physician working for a Hockey Canadian team, the Toronto Maple Leafs— the whole reason why you moved in the first place— your Mom as a Editor-in-Chief for the Fashion magazine, one of Canada's leading fashion publications, featuring content related to fashion, beauty, culture, and modeling and your brother, Peter, in High School as a freshman.

You were sitting on your porch, while you waited for Peter to be back so you could convince him to play football with you. He always said no, but you didn't give up. A few minutes later, Peter got out of your neighbor’s house, alongside another boy, who was slightly shorter than Peter.

You watched as they both walked towards your house, talking about something you couldn’t hear. You remember being so enamored with the sight of the boy that you couldn’t stop fidgeting your hands.

They stopped right in front of you, and while Peter was ready to ignore you and move on with his day— he’d been doing that more and more since he started High School— the other boy stopped and looked right at you.

“You didn’t tell me you have a sister.” The boy said, looking at your brother for a second before turning back at you.

“Oh, yeah,” Peter shrugged. “That’s Madison. She’s ten.”

“I’m eleven,” you corrected, voice soft and quiet.

“Whatever,” he scoffed, grabbing his keys so he could open the front door.

“Can you play with me now?” You asked, getting up from your seat, finally noticing how tall this other boy was. “I have the ball with me already.” You pointed at the ball that sat on the same couch you were also sitting not a minute ago.

“No, Madison. I’m with Quinn now.” Peter said, pointing at the boy beside him, who was now frowning at your brother.

Quinn. That’s a funny name, you remember thinking.

“We can play with her, I don’t mind—” the boy, Quinn, said, already reaching for the ball.

“Nah, bro. She’s annoying as hell. Once you pick that ball up, you won’t be able to let it go for like, three hours.” Peter replied, already opening the door.

You felt yourself tearing up and even though you hated crying in front of your brother, you couldn’t help it. Growing up, he was your best friend. Your hero even, when your parents decided that arguing during dinner, in front of their children, was a nice thing to do and he would make funny faces at you across the table just so you could laugh. When he pretended to yell at the monster under your bed or when he let you paint his nails with your pink nail polish.

But somewhere between turning fifteen and entering High School, he changed. And you hated every inch of this new Peter Carter.

He entered the house, shouting something, probably announcing to your mom that he was home. And you stood there, looking at your hands.

“Next time, I’ll play with you, okay?” Quinn, who was still standing in front of you, hesitated, looking as devastated as ever.

You felt embarrassed and you got out of there as fast as you could, running back inside and nestling yourself between your covers and plushies.

౨ৎ

YOU didn’t think Quinn had meant what he had said the other day, so you were surprised to see that he showed up the next morning, when both of your parents were at work and Peter was asleep in his bedroom upstairs.

“Hey,” he greeted you, stepping on your backyard patio and looking around. “Nice place you got here. We can play for a long time without risking throwing the ball in Mrs. Wright window.”

You giggled, remembering Mrs. Wright's funny wig.

“I’m Quinn Hughes.” He introduced himself after a while.

“I know that,” you whispered, watching as he laughed. “How old are you?”

“I’m thirteen, but I turn fourteen on October 14th,” he said. “You’re eleven, right?”

“Yes. My birthday was in February. I got this ball,” you raised the ball you were holding so he could see it better. It had your name on it. “And I also got new clothes for my plushies.”

“That sounds nice,” he nodded. “I’ll probably get a new stick on my birthday.”

“Why would you need a stick?” You asked, not sure what he could do with a stick. A tree’s stick. At least that’s what you thought a stick was.

Maybe he wants to put it on his fireplace.

“I play Hockey,” he answered and you still didn’t understand. The only thing you knew about Hockey was that it was the reason you and your family moved to Toronto. So it probably wasn’t a good thing. “And I need a new one.”

“Well, if it makes you happy, then I guess it’s fine,” you shrugged, poking your ball. “But that will probably be boring. You should ask for something cooler.”

He laughed again, sitting on the grass beside you. “I’ll think about that. Thank you for your advice.”

You puffed your chest a little, happy to feel useful for once.

That morning, you and Quinn didn’t end up playing; instead, you talked for hours, with you both asking each other questions about literally everything. From what’s your favorite color to what you wanna be when you grow up.

You could feel your heart racing in your chest every time you stared into his blue eyes that sometimes morphed into a light green shade, but you didn’t understand why. Quinn was being nice, he was treating you just like Peter did before you moved to Toronto and it felt so, so nice.

“Will I see you tomorrow?” You asked, right before he left for lunch at his house.

“I think so.” He smiled, quickly patting you on the head. He gave you a short wave before moving back to his home.

And you just stood there, counting the seconds so that maybe tomorrow would come faster, and you’d finally have a friend again.

[anonymous-dentist]

Two Ways to Adjust the Egg Life System

So, since the Eggs ran away in September and lived for weeks free of tasks and lives, and after they survived Purgatory while doing zero tasks, and after the three newer eggs survived for seemingly their entire lives without tasks or lives, a lot of people- both fans and creators and egg admins- have been complaining about the Egg Life System and how bullshit it is in terms of both player experience and the island’s established lore. It’s an outdated system that isn’t fun for anybody involved, and it should be properly updated for the new year.

Eggs have been the QSMP’s lifeblood since when they were first introduced in April. They were initially an event then, but they soon developed into actual people with actual personalities that both the audience and the players all became ridiculously attached to.

Eggs are given to new players to give them someone to hang out with when they’re alone on the server, and they exist for that purpose for everybody else, too.

So, if that’s the case… why the fuck can they still permadie? When lore itself showed that they don’t need to do tasks, and when players like the Korean members or like Roier or Bad would be completely alone on the server without the eggs keeping them company, it really begs the question of whether or not it’s possible to still have the eggs at risk while not explicitly killing them.

And so I present a couple of ways to adapt the Egg System to the QSMP 2024 while still allowing the eggs to be put at risk and while still having consequences for risky behavior and while still keeping the cookie system in place because, really, that’s a decent way of doing the tasks.

1. Hospitalization

Post-Purgatory, it was revealed that there’s an Egg Hospital. And it really would make sense for the server’s hyper capitalist second season to keep the hospital, and to use it the American Way.

When an egg goes down and “dies”, the egg respawns like a player would. But the egg respawns in the Egg Hospital at Spawn, and the parents have to pay a hefty fee for their eggs’ health.

The server already makes everybody collect coins and go into debt, so why not apply that to the eggs?

The fee the parents would have to pay would be ridiculous, like maybe 10k coins. Any coins they get from bounties would go to that and not to their own pockets, but the egg would still be alive. Every time the egg dies, the fee would increase regardless of whether or not the parents paid it off the last time.

So an egg has infinite lives, but the eggs and their parents are still punished for deaths. It keeps the parents from being able to buy necessities like warps or things from the Spawn Shops.

Egg Tasks are completed in exchange for Cookie Coupons, which allow the purchase of one cookie per coupon free of any monetary charge. In an emergency, parents can add to their debt by buying cookies outright. This way, eggs still get to do tasks while the parents are paying their debt.

Is this system harsh? Yeah, but so are permadeaths. This system just switches the deaths out for American-style medical debt that will ruin the parents financially should they ‘allow’ their eggs to die.

2. Repossession

Since the start of QSMP2024, the bunny employees have been trying to buy the eggs from their parents. Why not adapt that?

If an egg dies under this system, the parents receive a Strike from the Federation. After two Strikes, the egg is taken from their parents by a bunny social worker to live with the Federation until the parents can prove they’re a “good parent.”

The parents do this by taking paid parenthood classes taught by the Federation that would cost maybe 500 coins per class (coming to a total cost of 3,500 coins.) After a week of classes, the parents get their kids back.

The classes would basically be a bunny worker showing up at the parent’s home and making them do egg tasks for the bunny instead, maybe for ten minutes per day, showing that the parents can still take care of their eggs and that they aren’t neglectful or anything.

Furthermore, before the parents get their eggs back, they have to build a room specifically for their eggs if they don’t have one built already, and that room must be inspected by the bunny social worker. Parents have to show that they have food prepared for the egg. They have to have a set of armor prepared for the egg, and a sword and pickax. They have to have at least one toy or egg cosmetic purchased and waiting for the egg in the egg’s new room.

Once all this is done, after a week, the eggs get to come back, and their Strikes are reset.

This isn’t too bad, but 3,500 coins is a lot of money for a lot of players, and having to do all these chores and not having their eggs around punishes both the players and the eggs the same way a permadeath would. It’s just that this doesn’t include the egg dying, it includes a new form of Egg Trauma.

-

If you have any other ideas of new systems, I’d be curious to hear them. And feel free to screenshot and share this post to Twitter if you want, that’s cool.

I just think there are ways to mess with the players and the audience without killing the eggs off, that’s all.

These systems I have proposed accommodate for server lag and general unpreparedness, such as not having good enough armor or going into a dungeon without backup.

[call-me-ninaaa]

first kiss- Christopher Sturniolo

Chris sturniolo x fem!reader

heyy, guess who had the motivation to write something in the middle of the nightt?!

warnings: slightly suggestive, making out, cussing

yeah that's it, please, if you're a sensitive fan, don't read this, just skip.

anyway this is a long imagine, so enjoy!

_________________

you've never had your first kiss, kind of embarrassing in your opinion, considering the age you were turning in like four days, 21, just like the three people you grew up with.

of course only your best friends knew about your little secret, such as nicolas antonio sturniolo's and madison filipowicz.

not a single boyfriend in your life either, which left you single, un-kissed and touch deprived at twenty, soon to be twenty one years old.

a lot of people haven't had their first kiss or relationship in your age before, but you still found it embarrassing to not be able to talk about experiences you've had before, like the rest of your friends, acting like you know what they're talking about, not wanting to seem so clueless in front of them, nodding as they talked to prevent them from finding out, even if you really had no idea about the topic, like at all.

despite never being in a relationship, of course you've had crushes in your life, everyone has, it's normal.

although nick at first didn't really know how to feel with his childhood best friend, who he grew up with, having a crush on his younger triplet brother, he was now happy that it's you who liked him, not some random girl he couldn't trust with his brother, not knowing if that chic would be using the boy or not.

but with you? oh he had so much trust in you, that it kind of scares you to be honest, you were there when his first tooth fell out. when he first moved to another house. when he got his first bad grade. when he found out he was gay and you were the first he told. when he got his first boyfriend. when he cried about something. when he had his first panic attack ever. when he got into fights with his boyfriend. when they broke up you were the one who comforted him, who was there when he needed you the most. when he accidentally told his brothers about his sexuality. when he needed help and courage to come out to his parents and older brother. when he would get send out of class for sassing at the teacher, you would also sass at the teacher to get send out with nick so he wouldn't be alone. when he went to his first party, when he didn't have a prom date in high school, you went with him, even on like winter formals back in middle school. when he got his first job along with his brothers and you. when his house burned down and he was at a pool party, with you by his side. you guys were considered a two pack, wherever nick went, you were always there by his side. when he moved again. when he first started youtube. when he and his brothers moved out of boston to LA. when he hit one million subscribers. when he hit two million subscribers. when he hit three million subscribers. when he hit four million subscribers. when he hit five million subscribers. when he hit six million subscribers. and now, when he hit seven million subscribers, just yesterday. you were always right there.

it was crazy to think about how much you guys were together, and even after all these years, you never left any of their sides, not once. even after a discussion, you would always be there for them, just as they were for you. it was always the four of you against the world, and nothing would change that.

the longest you and nick have been apart for, was at least ten hours, not even a day, your family living with his, as your mothers were so close, they could've been sisters. somehow, they got pregnant at the same time on the year 2004. mary-lou giving birth to the triplets on august 1st, while your mom gave birth to you on september 3rd, which meant the triplets were only 33 days older than you, your favorite number coincidentally being 3, as everything in your life somehow had something to do with that number.

nick knew you had commitment issues, along with matt and chris, having trouble expressing yourself, such as your feelings, your thoughts and opinions on some things or topics, but luckily for you, he understands what you want to say without you having to actually say it, knowing how and what you're thinking, but the person you know can relate to this topic, is chris, as he has commitment issues himself.

matt was the one who could relate to you with anxiety, not just now, end of middle school and all through high school, you were there for him when he needed someone to the most, as he does for you now. back then your anxiety wasn't that bad, matt's on the other hand though, was really something else, but now, his isn't THAT bad anymore, yours, was really really bad, sometimes, it gets so bad that you lock yourself in your room, and won't get out for the rest of the day, or the day after, staying there under the comfy sheets, starving yourself rather than having to stand up and go downstairs to actually eat something, your one water bottle that is only needed when you're taking your meds as you hate drinking water, the only liquid source in the room.

but it hasn't been like that for a few months now, which was good according to your doctor and therapist, who texted you like twice a week maybe, just checking up on you tho, you on the other hand, could text her whenever, about whatever, whether it was you talking about your day, trying to talk about your feelings, out of excitement for something or someone, or just to say something random, she was your 'personal' therapist or something, but she was sweet nonetheless, not like most of your therapists, she even obsesses over chase atlantic as much as you do, she felt like a friend to you in your opinion, liking the things you do, just that she is like five years or so older that you.

she talked to you about your crush on chris, and because you couldn't talk to nick about his BROTHER that much, not just because of the relation, also because you feel like a girl would get you, even better a girl you could talk to and ask for advice who had experiences, a lot you might add, remembering some things she told you about, not even half of what she could tell you, there just wasn't enough time for ALL the stories.

you even told her that you never had a boyfriend or your first kiss, and she reassured you that it's no big deal, the right one will come soon, which was something you always told yourself too.

you've always been with nick wherever he was, but because of a very important meeting that you couldn't miss for the world, you had to fly from japan back to LA as he flew with madison beer to australia, where you would meet them in like three days.

your uber driver let you know that you arrived at home, but because of the curtains, you couldn't see if matt or chris was asleep, considering it was 4 am, you decided to use the key to get inside, going upstairs to your room across the hall, where matt's was, arranging your stuff, you then made your way to matt, hearing him scream, which meant he was awake, because you wanted to send nick their reaction, per his request, you started recording.

you knocked three times, waiting for his answer.

"come in?" you heard him say in a confused tone, but you couldn't blame the boy, if he was playing fortnite or something with chris, no one else would be at his door, at least he thought so, both of the boys unaware that you had to fly back home for a few days.

"hey matty, whatcha doin' up so late?" you saw him turn his head.

"what the fuck?!" matt said, which caused you to laugh, glad to have recorded this, his reaction priceless.

"what are you doing here in LA? aren't you supposed to be with n-" you cut him off.

"yeah, but i had to fly back because of a meeting i have here in LA, because i couldn't miss it, i'll fly to their location in a few days" you responded, meeting him just before you could be in the view of his camera, only your hands visible for a second as he stood up, hugging you with a little force which unknowingly prevented you from being seen, his headphones disregarded for privacy reasons.

"aw, i missed you so much bro, like, you won't believe how bored me and chris were without you and nick here." because he was one head bigger than you, he leaned down a little so your chin could be resting on his shoulder while his was on yours.

"that's so cute bruh, but that's like the farthest i've been away from nick too, which kinda feels weird tbh, i'm happy to finally be home with you guys tho." sighing you pulled away, looking at his two monitors.

"wait, you're live on twitch? i'm so sorry i thought you were just playing fortnite with chris! i don't wanna bother you anymore, i'll go now." you felt bad for interrupting his game, pulling him away from the stream.

"yeah, no it's okay you aren't bothering me at all, u should go surprise chris tho, but the chat probably heard your voice at first, so i'll deal with that while you're downstairs." he reassured, smiling at you softly before turning around to sit down as you left the room and made your way to chris' room, also knocking three times and waiting for a response.

"come in?" he was just as confused as matt was.

"hey there, what're you doin' awake huh?" you asked just like before with matt.

"what the-" he cut himself off.

"HEY! I MISSED YOU SO MUCH MA!" he yelled out in excitement, ignoring the camera that was pointing at him, completely forgetting the stream as he ran to you, embracing you with so much force your back was met with the wall behind you next to his door, what they didn't know tho, was that you told nick that you were outside the house before you opened the door with the keys, so he could watch it all go down.

you could hear nick letting matt know he was there the whole time, screaming to scare the boy, telling him that he joined the discord server to speak with them.

"nick always has to be extra when he has the chance bruh." you chuckled after faintly hearing their conversation through the headphones hanging around his neck, chris also laughing, still with his chin on top of your head, while yours was leaning against his chest, facing to the right.

"why are you here tho, don't get me wrong, i love that you're back home, just wondering why." he explained the reason for his question.

"well, i have a meeting i cannot miss here in LA, so i flew back here for a few days, then i'm gonna meet nick and madison at their location somewhere in australia.“ you told him the same thing as before with matt, not knowing that your conversation could be heard through the headset, the chat going crazy as matt and nick listened.

"aw, i'm still glad you're here tho, we are getting so bored alone." he pulled away from the hug, his arms still around you, not noticing that they were, or that their conversation could be heard.

"yeah, i saw, i mean, you guys've been so active on social media, actually i think that's the most active you guys have ever been, with now which one is it? the sixth stream on twitch i think? yeah you definitely don't know what to do while we are absent." you laughed, along with chris, when you could hear nick also laughing, with matt being offended, saying that's not true.

you furrowed your eyebrows, taking chris' headphones and putting them on as you stood in front of the camera, seeing matt, and yourself as you bend over just enough for him to see your face.

"wait, you guys could hear us the whole time?" you asked as chris sat down in his chair.

"yeah, obviously, chris didn't even put his headset away bro." matt smirked, slightly shaking his head as if disappointed.

"oh well." shrugging you stood up straight handing the headphones back to him as he out it on, chris holding you by the waist, pulling you down onto his lap nonchalantly after that, your hips touching his.

"chris! what are you doing bruh?" you whisper-yelled, out of panic for some reason.

"what? i sat you down because there is no chair in my room, it's just my lap, chill out." he shrugged, putting his hands on your thighs as he puts his head on your shoulder, to see the comments better, muting his mic for a second.

"it's not like i sat you down on my dick right in front of my brothers and the whole stream." he covered his mouth so nobody could lip read what he said, smirking as he leaned back, waiting for your response, hands now resting right where your legs and hips joined, nonetheless being careful to not touch you too much.

"CHRIS! WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT BRO?! THEY CAN HEAR YOU, YOU KNOW?" you turned your head around to face his, after the shock went away, eyes still wide from before.

"no, i'm not that dumb yk, i make sure to mute myself before i say shit." he was acting like it was no big deal, unmuting his mic, hearing his brothers still talk about japan.

"you're so clueless sometimes, i really wanna know if you'd survive a zombie apocalypse." you grabbed your phone from your shorts pocket, slightly leaning forward to be able to pull it out of your back pocket, sitting back down on his lap fully after proceeding to do so.

"what, because i don't have a brain they could eat?" he slightly sassed.

"yeah, i wonder how you got that one." you smiled, looking at the comments.

"ha ha." he fake laughed, not finding the joke funny whatsoever.

"yo, nick, what the fuck are these comments bro, the chat is fucking crazy!" your eyes widened, reading what the fans were saying, taking the headset from chris and putting them on yourself.

"what? i can't see shit, send me a pic of which one you mean." nick told you.

snapping a picture, you showed chris, sending it to nick and matt.

"matt, i send you the pic too btw, anyway, hey guys, i'm uh, well, yk who i am, if not, i'm their childhood best friend, like a sister or whatever, idk." you waved, hearing them react to the picture.

"what the fuck, i don't really read the comments, like, i knew these people exist, but like, what the fuck?" matt's look on his face was a disgusted one, nick gagging for a second.

"i like, almost threw up, but lemme call you rather than just hearing you guys." he announced, leaving the discord server, just as your phone rang.

"hey again." nick waved at the now visible you.

"heyy, wait, are you seriously watching tiktok while we are talking?" you saw the reflection of the app in his eyes.

"uh, yeah? OH MY GOD YOU GOTTA SEE THIS! I JUST SENDED IT TO YOU." confused you opened the app, a tiktok from chris immediately popping up on your fyp, already liked and saved by you.

eyes wide, you panicked, scrolling down in hopes that chris hasn't seen it.

"did you save my video?" he asked, chin once again resting on your shoulder.

"what?" you played dumb.

"did you save my video?" he repeated himself.

"what? no, i only liked it, just like all the other one's i come across that you guys post, to support you, i don't know how you thought that." the support thing was a distraction to make him forget.

"alright, whatever you say." he let the topic go, sliding the headset off of you and on him with one hand somehow, grabbing his controller and placing both his hand on your lap once again.

"wait nick, you didn't send it to me." confused the boy spoke up.

"what i did, close and open your tiktok again." you did as he said, finally seeing the video he send you.

"ohh, wait lemme stalk rq, cause i wanna see how much he really changed." you reasoned, in your own world, only hearing nick talk, everything else zoned out completely.

"you sure that's the only reason you're stalking him? i know when you're lying girl." you smiled at that, not because you were lying, but because you knew he knew when you were lying or not, being so close he could even tell if you're smiling or not, depending the situation, even if he's in another continent.

"yeah? why else would i go to that guy's account?" you asked him why he thought otherwise, not noticing the silence on chris' side.

"uh, because he almost kissed you girl, you said he was attractive, but for some reason you just didn't want to kiss him, if i would've had the opportunity to kiss that guy, i would've a 100 percent taken that chance, the other girls called you insane bro." he refreshed your memory, remembering the day like it was yesterday.

"okay, yeah, that was kind of funny, but i didn't wanna kiss him because of the bet he made with his friends, i know any girl in my place would've taken the chance whether it was a bet or not, but just because he 'was' attractive, doesn't mean i'm attracted to him, he just wasn't my type, i mean, he had a face card, and body, which was way too buff in my opinion, his personality was shit tho, which is the most important part, like, if you marry someone who is beautiful with bad intentions, who knows if he stays that beautiful, i'm not saying they can get into an accident, well, they can, not my point tho, you either have a glow up, or glow down at our age in high school, and he had the biggest glow down in history to ever exist, and the bad intentions stay, which as we know isn't gonna end well, but if i someday marry a man that doesn't have a face card like others our age or a body like 'the rock' himself, but he has a good personality, that matches mine, then i won in life, cause like, i'm gonna fall in love with him because of his personality and how he acts, it's not real love if you like someone based on their looks or muscles, if they have muscles or are good looking, then it's a bonus point, not the whole point of the love story, you know what i mean nicky?" leaning the phone on chris' monitor, you started speaking. you could yap about the topic all day, but if it comes to you, you're stayin' speechless, never had a boyfriend before, but gives the best advice for friends who are in a relationship. makes no sense, but it somehow does.

"like love makes you blind, you only see the good in the person you love, forgiving because you love too much, but people outside of the relationship, can see what's happening and have a better mind of what's good and what's bad, because they are not blinded by love like the person in the relationship is, and trying to let the person know about it or at least try to talk to them about it, is complicated, if they are understanding and listen to you, say that they are gonna think about it, is the reaction you try to get, but if they deny, say that it's not like that and the person just won't get it in their head, they're gonna have to fall on their face to realize it, it may seem like a bad idea, but sometimes, falling on your face helps you view everything with new eyes, more aware of what you do, and how you do everything, which some people really do need. loving too much is just going to end up hurting yourself, if your self love isn't stronger, than you made everything wrong in life, not saying to be too in-love with yourself, just enough to know when it's too much, before it's too late and you can't change anything anymore, you learned from your mistakes but will you ever be able to love again like you did before? that's the point people won't get in their head you know?" you continued, knowing everything you said came straight from the heart.

"i understand what you're saying, and i am completely with you here, but in this generation, people date because of looks, because they want to be in a relationship, not because they love each other." he added, the deep talk too deep to stop now.

"yeah, that's the problem, finding someone in this generation that truly loves you, and wants to grow old with you, like the old love kinda thing, who doesn't want to just fuck and move on, but truly appreciate and love you like no other, that someone to find is almost impossible, with the way they act these days, like i know everything happens for a reason, but what the fuck?!" nick chuckled at the end of your sentence, just now aware that your phone was literally leaning on the monitor the comments were, the chat talking about how you were right.

"oh shit, i forgot the stream is still on, fuck." you cursed, your fyp is gonna be full with your speech.

"HAH, the edits are gonna be fireee, especially after your speech bruh, like okay shakespeare, slay 'em dead." while nick hyped you up, chris was chuckling, both brothers now in the lobby after just dying on game.

"no nick, that's literally not funny at all, it's gonna haunt me forever, just like when matt said 'his loss' in a video. it haunts him till this day bro, like i don't care, it's my opinion, i didn't say anything i didn't mean, but that was some poetry shit right there, yk what i mean bro?" you groaned, still making fun of matt in the progress.

"hey! what does that have to do with me?" matt complained, which caused you all to laugh.

"alright, i'm gonna go to sleep now, talk to you tomorrow, good night!" nick announced as the laughter quieted down.

"alright, good night nick" his brothers said, matt now in chris' room.

"night nick" you waved, ending the call, finally leaning back into chris' chest, as he groaned for a quick second, holding you in place by your hips, making you look at him.

"everything okay chris? what was that?" you asked, concerned for him.

"oh nothing, all good." he smiled, which looked forced to you, but you didn't pry into it, probably just his hands cramping after playing just a minute ago for five hours straight.

chris and matt were saying their goodbye's as you waited for them to finally end the stream and sleep, it's been a long day for you, so all you wanted was sleep, matt too apparently.

"okay guys, i'm really tired, so we will end the stream here, no stream tomorrow, probably a saturday night stream, if not monday, good night guys." matt said, chris and you also saying goodnight, ending the stream at that.

matt walked out the room, you were about to aswell, but chris stopped you.

"wait a sec." you turned around, him standing in front of you now.

"yeah?" looking up, he pulled you into a hug.

you didn't say anything, him hugging you randomly wasn't unusual, that was something you loved about him actually, not needing a reason to hug you, simply just because he has the chance to. but it felt different this time.

after a good two minutes, he slowly pulled away slightly, just enough to lean his forehead against yours.

"so you, just wanted, a hug?" you paused every two words, looking into his eyes, lips then back into his eyes.

"yeah, just, a...hug." he also paused, doing the same to you as you did to him.

as you both subconsciously leaned in, you remembered your biggest secret.

just as your lips were about to meet, your right hand went from his chest to his lips, your pointer finger in a shushing manner, just lightly touching them.

"i, uh" you didn't know how to tell him.

"oh, i'm sorry, i never wanted to make you uncomf-" you pressed your pointer finger to his lips, finally spitting it out.

"no, no, that's not it, i just uh, i've never- kissed anyone...before." you were embarrassed, as he smiled.

"that's okay, i can teach you, don't worry. it comes naturally." chris smirked, reassuring you as he waited for your response.

"yeah that's what everyone says, but how does it come naturally, i don't even know what to do." you told him, kind of freaking out, but trying not to show it.

"just copy me, move your lips to a rhythm, we'll go slow so you'll get the hang of it, for now, i'll take your top lip, to make it easier for you, alright?" he tried to explain as best as he could.

"what? i thought both our top lips are like touching, just like our bottom lips?" you were confused, not knowing a single thing.

"oh you're that clueless. but before you called me clueless, now look at you." the boy tried to joke, chuckling as you rolled your eyes. at this point your left hand was still on his chest, while your right hand was on his neck, his hands both on your waist.

"okay, okay, i'm sorry, just try to match my rhythm, copy what i do, alright?" he made the instructions clear, it couldn't be that hard, right?

"okay." you whispered, your eyes once again flickering from chris' eyes, to his lips and back to his eyes, which he took as his cue to lean in and connect your lips.

as he moved his lips, you just now noticed how soft they were. you tried to copy his actions as best as you could, matching his pace easily, getting the hang of it quickly.

due to the lack of oxygen, you both had to pull away, connecting your lips a few seconds later, too focused on the feeling of his lips moving so perfectly against yours to think about anything else.

the once slow and steady rhythm turned into a quick one as you tried to pull him to you further with your hands on his neck, as the boy did the same, his hands on your waist, your back slowly leaning off the wall behind you.

"jump." he tapped the back of your thighs, whispering before continuing to kiss you.

as you did what he said, your legs wrapped around his waist as chris lead the way to his bed, not thinking clearly as he did.

he layed you on your back, leaning over you as the kids only broke for a few seconds in need of oxygen, leaning back in right after, not being able to stop, his lips so addictive they pulled you into a trance.

"we, should really, stop." he said in between kisses.

"do you, want to, stop, tho?" you asked him, also in between kisses.

"no, ur, so, addictive. do, you?" chris felt like he was in heaven, not wanting it to end so soon.

"no." you simply answered, continuing to kiss him.

"then, let's just, keep, going." he suggested.

"mhmm" you agreed. that's what you planned on doing anyway.

after five minutes of kissing, he licked your bottom lip, asking for entrance.

because you didn't want to give in just yet, you ignored it.

after asking again, he bit your bottom lip a little, which made you gasp, as he slid his tongue inside your mouth.

as your tongues fought for dominance, he was clearly winning, the wet sounds filling the whole room as you guys kissed, both of you a sweaty, breathless mess.

because you still had your vest on, the zipper still halfway down since you came home, he pulled it down completely, helping you take it off, the room very warm, the heat radiating off of you both only making it hotter.

he was wearing a hoodie, which you helped him take off, chris now shirtless as he had nothing under the hoodie, only in sweats as you were in a white sports bra and black shorts.

"this looks, so wrong" he told you, realizing how this must look like in third person.

"let's, just hope, matt's, asleep." you said to him, knowing he was right.

"i don't, think-" he got interrupted by three knocks on the half open door, the said brother looking up from his phone.

"hey chris, i think mom-" he paused, you both looking at him from your position, trying to catch your breaths.

"EW BRO, YA'LL WERE BOUTTA FUCK WITH THE DOOR HALF OPEN?! FUCKING DISGUSTING BRUH!" you could hear him say as he walked upstairs, terrified after what he saw.

"we weren't 'bout to-" chris was cut off by matt's door upstairs, as it echoed through the whole house.

"welp- now he thinks we were about to have sex." chris shrugged, not really caring.

"were we though?" you raised an eyebrow at him, your positions still the same after like half an hour.

"well, i don't think so, right?" he then asked you.

"i mean, i guess not, we're just two best friends, making out on your bed, lips all red and swollen, you're shirtless with sweats, i'm with bra and shorts, nothing weird about that, right?" you joked, laughing at how ridiculous it sounds, everything about that was weird actually.

you guys decided to really go to bed now tho because after that, the exhaustion was definitely there. if it wasn't there before, it def is now.

chris changed, as you did too in his bathroom, going to sleep in his bed, not having the energy to unpack your stuff and clean your room again, you can do that tomorrow, but for now, all you wanted was to sleep, with chris by your side was a bonus, and you couldn't have been happier.

_________________

that was a really long imagine, but i hope you liked it!

please make sure to eat and drink enough today!

i hope you have/had a good day!

thank you for reading and see you in the next imagine.

not proof read!

word count: 5242

[imaginesbymonika]

Futile Devices | Part 1

Pairing: Noel Gallagher x childhood-best friend!reader

Plot: There’s nothing quite like realizing your feelings once it’s too late. But what would life be without a speck of hope?

(1985)

You gaze at the ceiling, while soft guitar music fills the atmosphere. Outside you could hear people yell at one another, and perhaps Noel heard it too because his singing voice abruptly became a bit louder: “You’re my Coney Island Baby, you’re so precious, so sweet…” At the sound of someone slamming the door shut you involuntarily lift your head. “You’re my lucky star, that’s what you are.”

His voice is soft, or at least he attempts to sound smoother than he’s capable of being. Just last week, he managed to catch a vicious throat infection somehow. You kidded about how he got it from some girl down the block, but when he didn’t laugh about it you felt stupid. “How’s your throat?”, you ask, turning your head to get a better look at him. Noel shrugs:” You tell me.”

You nod before letting your head fall back down on the mattress. Outside the window, thick grey clouds have covered the once-blue sky, and a few tiny raindrops roll down the glass. “I hate September.”, you whisper and he quits playing. His eyes are burning holes into the top of your head:” I know. You say that every year.” “But only because every year, September manages to disappoint me.”

He chuckles before clearing his throat. He winces at the slight ache.

“Have you written anything new, yet?”, you ask, counting the small cracks in the ceiling. Three, five- eight. “Hmm, maybe.”, he replies, his fingers are tapping on the instrument. “Can I hear it?” “When it’s finished, sure.” A silence falls upon you both before Noel speaks up:” By the way, why- what did Tommy say to you?”

You quickly roll over onto your stomach:” Tommy? You mean when we stood in front of Ben’s Pub?” Noel nods, his fingers have stopped moving. It was the same bar where you and Noel kissed one another for the first time, a couple of years ago. Both of you happened to be extremely drunk that night, nevertheless not drunk enough for you to forget about it -you wondered if he had.

“He asked me for my number.”

“Oh, did he?”, a soft scoff escapes his lips, while he stares outside into the afternoon:” Did you give it to him?” There’s a newfound harshness to his voice, but it quickly disappears when he clears his throat once more. “No.”, you simply answer:” He’s not my type, anyway.”

Noel nods:” Yeah, right.” He slightly raises his guitar, until it’s back upright in his lap:” You’re my Coney Island Baby, you mean so much to me. You’re my pretty little lady.” A faded sigh escapes you before you move back onto your back. Ten, twelve, thirteen.

“Did you call Stacy back?”

He hums in response. “You know, that bird from school. Gave you her number on a cigarette.” You loathed how cool that was. And after a few moments of silence, Noel shakes his head:” Not my type, you know.”

Your eyes move down to your fingers, while they play with the corner of his beige bedsheets:” Well, what’s your type anyway?” The regret forms itself quickly in your abdomen and you swallow thickly. However, Noel merely chuckles:” I think, I need to know someone before I-, well, you know.” And you do.

“Yeah. Me too.”

[usedtobecooler]

dropping monday 14/08…

this must be the place

eddie munson x steve harrington x afab!reader

summary: the summer of 1985 is only just beginning when a trip to scoops ahoy! unlocks some deeply hidden feelings you have swirling in your stomach for steve harrington. eddie munson won't let you live it down, and maybe that’s due to his own feelings too, but a chance encounter on a hot night at lovers lake sends you all down a rabbit hole you could never of prepared for.

content warnings: 18+ only minors dni, sexual content (threesome, piv sex, oral sex, dirty talk, van sex), porn with plot, eddie and reader are fwbs with feelings, gentle bullying and banter, eddie is canonically queer, mentions of past king!steve, brief homophobia mentions, a heartfelt conversation. feelings are felt on all three sides, if you don't like it look away <3 reader isn't explicitly described as alt/goth but it's implied.

sneak peek below the cut

You watch curiously as the Harrington charm working it’s magic right in front of your very eyes, Steve steps in close to Linda, brushes a loose curl back — Jesus Christ, why was that doing something for you — and says something you can’t make out, but it’s enough to have Linda blushing and pulling nervously on the hem of her denim shorts.

Why were you jealous?

The telltale noise of an obnoxiously loud horn beeping lets you — and probably the entire neighbourhood — know Eddie had arrived to pick you up, snapping you completely out of your daydream. Your lips curl up into a smirk when both Linda and Steve jump ten feet at the sound, Steve rolling his eyes and scoffing.

What a bitch.

Eddie catches you looking from your window and lets out an obnoxious laugh, grinning up at you with his annoyingly perfect teeth. You wanted to punch him, maybe, but Friday nights were for one thing and one thing only, and that was getting high at Lovers Lake in the flatbed of the van.

So it’d have to wait until you didn’t need him for the weed or the ride.

Summer meant the pretty sunset as a backdrop whilst you smoked the day's events away — it somehow made everything that little bit more relaxing, watching the swirls of orange, pink and purple melt together as your brain fogged with the drugs, a nice settling in your tummy as your high took over.

It was second only to the heavy September rain that you loved so much, you found yourself yearning for it all year around. The loud patter of the large droplets clinking on the tin roof of Eddie’s van, buried under a nest of blankets to keep the cool chill off your arms and legs. Eddie’s hot breath fanning over your neck as he kissed it, chest heavy against your back. Warm, solid and comforting.

Maybe you were in love with him, or maybe you weren’t. You didn’t want to think too much about that.

You glide out of the house as quietly as you can muster, not wanting to arouse suspicion about where you were going. Even in your twenties, your parents would still have a few choice words for you in regards to Eddie Munson, and you were in no mood for the lecture. You’d heard it too many times in the years you’d known him, since fifth grade when he pushed you in the playground and you pulled his hair in retaliation.

From that moment on you were inseparable, to the dismay of your parents.

You’re aware of two other sets of eyes watching you from across the street as you bounce down the driveway, all smiles as excitement thrums through your entire body. Eddie’s maybe looking at you like you hung the fucking moon or something, but that’s probably to do with the fact you’re wearing his shirt and looking the epitome of hot.

Okay, maybe you had a complex.

“So that’s where my shirt went,” Eddie hums, giving you an appreciative once-over as you wrench the passenger door open with a horrific sounding crunch of metal, “looks better on you, I’ve gotta say.”

You clamber into the van with a huff, laughter spilling into it, “Yeah, yeah. You don’t need to woo me, Munson. We’re gonna fuck anyway, don’t worry.”

Eddie laughs loud and so fucking obnoxious, as if for somebody else’s entertainment, and it does catch the attention of the lovebirds on the other side of the road. You look over just as Steve catches your eyes, and suddenly your chest feels kind of heavy as he stares at you with a kind of intensity that you can’t put a finger on.

“Take a fuckin’ picture, Harrington,” Eddie cackles, head basically out the fucking window and he’s grinning at them both, snapping you completely out of it, “that’s as close as you’re getting to her, count your lucky stars.”

Eddie and Steve weren’t friends. In fact quite the opposite. Steve and Tommy were miserable assholes for years, made Eddie’s life hell at any given turn unless they needed him for drugs.

You think back, and truthfully the turning point was during Junior year. Steve had tripped Eddie in the hall, called him ‘queer’. Eddie didn’t stand for that, sucker punched Steve right in the jaw, hard enough that his skull hit the locker adjacent to him.

“That shit might hurt you when your daddy calls you it, but you’ve gotta do a lot worse than call me exactly what I am as an insult, Harrington.” Eddie had grinned, vicious and seething, as he watched Steve clutch desperately at his bruised jaw, wide eyed and hair askew from the force.

Steve never bothered Eddie again after that.

In fact, not long after, Steve never bothered anybody again. Maybe the knock to the head had quite literally knocked some sense into him, or something.

“You good?” Eddie’s voice, his large hand gripping your thigh knocks you back into reality, out of the daydream, and the grounding is enough to have your entire body melting into the simple touch.

[chimivx]

That one fucked you over last year, this one is fucking you over this year, you had no idea she was involved with him, someone over here has been lying to you, you didn't mean to end up in that ones bed, he told you he loved you... Does anyone even trust anyone anymore?

👫 -> college!teez x fem!reader/oc {frat/sorority} #️⃣ -> 10k (part TWO of ten) ‼️ -> 18+, sexual content, drugs/alcohol, college life, all the drama, heavy angst, infidelity adjacent moments, mean boys, mean girls, mentions of anxiety/depression… IF I MISSED ANYTHING PLEASE LET ME KNOW!

september 5th ~  friday ~ 1:06 p.m

The library in the center of Nasara’s campus could house a titan. Tall sculpted ceilings towered over you as you browsed the shelves that also towered over you. Spacious, every footstep echoed over the marble floors, the only sound to be heard from anyone who set foot inside. Two stories high, the building held history in the city of Delo before becoming the center of Nasara, the campus having been built up around the stone giant.

Classes started next week, Monday morning, and you’d be lying if you said the ATZ ban didn’t help you get a fabulous head start on preparations for the semester. The nights you’d spend dancing in their living room were spent with your sisters instead, putting plans into place and checking in that everyone had what they needed for their classes.

Which brought you here, the Conoscenza Library. There was one text book you needed for an Analytics class that you didn’t want to drop hundreds of dollars on. Thankfully, Conoscenza would let you keep it for the months you needed it. Now, if only you could find it. 

Securing your bag over your shoulder, an old leather thing, a vintage find in a thrift store thanks to Tori a couple months ago, you held onto the strap and rounded another row of shelves, having little luck nearing the end of the A section. It didn’t help that the shelves were several feet high, higher than you were tall. Taking a few steps backward against the shelves opposite the ones you were searching, you craned your neck to the shelf just out of reach and groaned aloud. 

There it was. Your Analytics textbook.

Nestling your brows over your eyes you stepped directly in front of it and reached up, stretching your arm as far as it would go, going as far as to lift yourself up on your tiptoes. Your fingertips brushed the front of the dusty shelf, nowhere near close to grabbing the book. Touching your heels back to the floor you exhaled heavily and tried again, getting only a smidgen higher than last time. Bad day to wear flat strappy sandals.

“Need some help?”

His voice came from around the corner, the warmth hitting you before the realization of who it was set in. Feet back on the floor, arms down by your sides, you squeezed your eyes shut and took a breath before turning to him.

Yunho, leaning against the shelves, wore a smile. His hair was pushed over his eyes, styled strategically, it just brushed his thin framed glasses. In a beige hoodie with a grey flannel overtop, he paired the fit with dark blue jeans and white sneakers. There was a chain around his neck peeking at you from the collar of his hoodie. Your eyes lingered there for a second.

He moved his hand, reaching up for the silver chain, twirling it around his fingers. His long, slender fingers. 

“What did you say?” you asked, forcing yourself to look him in the eye.

The smile never left his face, his perfectly squishy cheeks perked up while he watched you. “I asked you if you needed help.” He gestured toward the book with the fingers tangled around his chain.

Sighing, you glanced up at it, then back to Yunho and shrugged. “Yeah, I do.”

His soft laugh made your heart skip a beat, and you wished it wouldn’t. Crossing the row of books, coming closer to you he didn’t give you time to get out of the way. Caging you up against the books, he reached both arms up and effortlessly grabbed the textbook. Breath hitching in your throat, his scent had the power to charm you. A gentle musk mixed with something woodsy. Comforting. Exactly what he was. Exactly what he had the power to do. Comfort you.

Centimeters between you, he looked down with that same damn smile and handed you the book.

“Thanks,” you whispered.

Yunho whispered back, “Anytime.”

His sweet brown eyes shifted toward your lips and your heart sunk into your gut. “I’ll see you again, sometime.” Darting from in front of him, you started down the row of shelves, removing yourself from the situation before it became a situation.

“Rory,” Yunho called after you, his voice echoing within the section of the library you were in. Your feet had a mind of their own. You wanted them to keep going, but they stopped, and then they turned you around. With his arms out at his side he shook his head. “What’s going on?”

Taking him in, all you could see was Mina.

Their amazing summer dates. Their nights spent sharing their deepest thoughts with one another. Their movie-esque summer kisses.

Since Tuesday, these last couple of days spent with Mina, he’d hardly come up unless it was another member asking her about him. Keeping it to yourself, everything she’d shared with you, you didn’t even tell Tori. Mina’s business was her business, and in this world, everyone was in everyone's business. The sophomore didn’t deserve that. She deserved a good guy that didn’t come with drama, one who treated her right and appreciated her family. 

If any member of ATZ was going to do that, it was Yunho.

You’ve been friends with him long enough to know that he was a decent human being. You just wished he’d told you how serious this Mina thing was.

“The rules,” you said, keeping your voice low so it wouldn’t carry through the shelving. Yunho dropped his hands and rolled his eyes.

“Since when are you one to follow rules?”

He wasn’t wrong. It was you and Tori, rules didn’t exist for the two of you.

Swallowing hard, you shrugged. “Since I got really fucked over.”

Yunho took a breath, you watched his chest rise and fall. He started toward you, stopping when there was a few inches between you on the marble floor. “You were over him a month ago.” His half whisper struck you across the face.

“Yeah, because I was under you.”

He winced, glancing upward. “Can you tell me what’s going on, for real?” He looked at you, eyes full of something you despised. “Is it really the rules? I half expected you to sneak out and show up one of these nights, but… neither you nor Tori have. At least she tells Mingi she’s not coming.”

“I don’t owe you that,” you said, and it was as if your words physically hurt him with the way he changed his gaze. “We’re not in a relationship, we’re not dating.”

“We’re friends,” Yunho said, his hands flying out at his sides again. “Rory, what did I do?”

Stepping closer to him, closing the open air between you, you narrowed your eyes and tightened your lips. “Mina,” you whispered, and his eyes did that thing where they got all soft. “Mina, Yo.”

“Wh-What about her?” he stammered, his eyes frantically flickering from either of yours.

“You pursued her,” you said with a nod, stating the obvious. “Come on, genius boy. You had an entire summer fling with her, you met her family, you had dinner with them, then we fucked in the backseat of your car parked at the lake in Sicuro.”

Yunho blinked, a sort of shame overcoming him. “She told you guys a lot,” he said.

“She did,” you said. “And I have to act like we weren’t hooking up all summer.” The boy could write essays upon essays, and here he was before you, speechless. “I knew you guys were getting closer last semester and stuff, everyone had guessed that it would be you and her to pair off with one another.” He watched you with remorse, but not enough of it. “Tuesday night, at the party. Tori asked me where I went.”

“Outside. The noise was nauseating, Wooyoung pissed us off, and you had too much on your mind.”

“Exactly,” you said within a breath. Word for word, what you both said you would say. 

Outside. The noise was nauseating, Wooyoung pissed you off, and you had too much on your mind.

Which wasn’t a lie, you did have too much on your mind. Between Yeji becoming a dictator, Wooyoung forcing himself into your space all over again like nothing had happened and he hadn’t ignored you until this semester started, and now this thing with Yunho that couldn’t turn into anything because of the sophomore living in your house…

“I had Mina asking me the next night what we were talking about, if you were okay ‘cause she hasn’t heard from you,” you said. “I had to lie to my best friend. No one knows what we’ve been doing. After hearing about your lovey dovey summer, how can I say anything to any of them?”

Yunho creased his brow, slowly grazing a finger over the back of your hand where it hung at your side.

“No one can know we hooked up at the party,” you said, thinning your lips. Yunho wore something like a pout while he barely nodded his head. “I will not be a Yeji.” The circles he drew over your hand enticed you to flip your palm over, the tips of your fingers grazing the tips of his. “Mina likes you, Yunho.”

He exhaled, the space between you growing smaller with every passing second. “I like you, Rory.”

“I like you too, Yo,” you breathed.

His smile was pure. “I know you do,” he whispered, low and raspy, then pressed his lips to your own. 

It took three seconds for you to push him away, yanking your hand from his, pressing both to his chest. But, for three seconds he had you.

“Stop,” you sighed. He took a step back and touched his fingers to his lips. “We can’t do this.”

Yunho dipped his head back and groaned to himself. “Why?”

“It’s unfair,” you said. “To either of us. I’m not over Wooyoung and you have feelings for Mina.” Yunho shrugged, glancing about the library. “Don’t do that, you have feelings for Mina.”

“Do I?” Half a laugh came out of him. “It was a lot of work trying to keep up with all of that shit.”

Yes, him.

Yes, Yunho.

“That’s nice to hear,” you tightened your gaze on him, “That she was a lot of work. What does that make me? Easy? A floozy? A slut?”

He reached out his hands to hold onto your shoulders, caressing the fabric of your ITZ crewneck. “No, no, no,” he muttered, his head shaking entirely too fast. “Don’t say that, I didn’t mean that, I wasn’t implying anything.”

“Really?” Shaking his hands away, off of you, he held them to his chest and flipped his eyebrows over. “If Mina, the nicest girl I have ever met, is a lot of work… What does that make me?”

Taking a hand into his hair he blew air from his lips and messed with his locks. “Rory,” he mumbled, dropping his hand after gesturing toward you, letting it smack against his thigh. “It makes you Rory, the girl I’ve had a crush on since she sat next to me in that English class.” With a shake of his head he darted his tongue between his lips and said, “Wooyoung fucked you over, I won’t do that.”

Holding the book over your chest, grabbing it with both arms, keeping a line of defense between the two of you, you smiled. “Like you aren’t doing to Mina right now?”

Turning on your heels you left him behind, letting the hurt turn your heart ice cold… If you could call it hurt.

After Yeji and Wooyoung made it downstairs leaving you and Tori speechless in the doorway of Hongjoongs bedroom, Yunho was the first from the group of boys on the stairs to hurry up to where you were paralyzed in place. Seonghwa and Yeosang followed, of course, but Yunho was the first to appear. He took you in his arms, one hand cradling behind your head, fingers knotting in your hair. 

Tori was lost in whispers with Seonghwa and Yeosang, the three of them moving down the hall to give you a moment. She told them everything, between pulses of your heartbeat in your ears you could hear it in their gasps and disapproving groans.

Yunho held you until you started to cry. He held you, and played with your hair, and rubbed a hand along your back as you mumbled to him everything Tori had just told his friends. At some point the two of you ended up on the floor, Yunho leaning against the railing of the staircase with his too long legs stretched out along the hall. Sitting opposite him, one leg between his and the other bent so you could lean on it, you shared whispers, deciphering the entire situation.

There wasn’t much he could say to make anything better. Nothing he could do would fix anybody’s feelings, or make it all go away… But, his presence was enough. Aside from Tori, he’s been your longest, closest friend at Nasara, whether people paid attention to that fact or not. He knew a lot about you, and you knew a lot about him. You cared for him, you cared for each other.

And that made walking away from him all the more painful.

Despite the blurry lines this summer created, it didn’t feel worth it losing a friend.

Stopping at the end of the row you turned around. He was still there, hands in his pockets now, standing over six feet tall with his puppy eyes watching you walk away. Meeting his gaze, he didn’t falter. If anything, the corner of his lips perked up.

“I get it,” he said, as if he could see the gears grinding away in your brain. “I promise you, I do.”

“Then, what happens next?” you asked, fingers tightening around your textbook.

Yunho took a step backward and shrugged his shoulders. “You stay my friend.”

A breath corrupted your lungs. “And, what if we can’t do that?”

He narrowed his eyes and flashed you that smile. “We will,” he said. “We’ll try.”

september 5th ~  friday ~ 5:48 p.m.

[youknow everythin]: I think you should still try to come to the party tonight

[you]: there is no way out of this house

[you]: there is no such thing as sneakin around yeji

[youknow everythin]: …

[youknow everythin]: I have faith in you & Tori

[youknow everythin]: Especially Tori

[you]: thanks.

[youknow everythin]: You’re welcome <3

[you]: don’t ever send that heart again

[youknow everythin]: …

[youknow everythin]: …

[youknow everythin]: <3

Slamming your phone down on the marble counter Tori jumped a mile, the ice in her glass rattling. Leaning over the flat top you drug your hands over your face and groaned aloud, letting your fingers slide through your hair. 

“What happened?” Tori asked, cracking open a can of red bull, pouring it into the glass in front of her. 

Leaving the library around two, parting ways with Yunho, when you came back home you spent an hour or so in your bedroom, organizing and reorganizing what you would need for Monday’s classes. Tori popped in and out, working on her own tasks for recruitment and future events that would need to be announced soon, and then the two of you spent about two hours on the floor stalking Instagram accounts and talking about Isla, or Mina.

When it came to the sophomore you didn’t have much to say, but you forced yourself to give your input, some side of the story so you wouldn’t be suspicious.

Tori was your best friend, but she’d never know what happened with Yunho.

If Mina didn’t spill her heart out it’d be a different story.

“The guys want us at ATZ tonight,” you said, giving her a knowing look. 

Tori crunched the can in her hand and walked around the island to throw it away, her mind working, then she returned to her glass, took a sip, and bobbed her head.

“Who’ve you got on the phone?”

“Yunho,” you said. “I saw him at the library earlier.”

Tori sipped her drink, nodding some more. “Mingi has said some stuff, too.”

“Like what?” Your voice was small. Quiet. Almost afraid.

“About us not being there,” she said, setting the glass down. Lifting a hand she adjusted her nose piercings and shrugged. “You and I, Yuna and Ryujin… They want us around. Mingi said Yunho’s even brought up Mina, but I dunno if we’d get her to sneak out.”

“She’s too ‘good girl’ to sneak out,” you mumbled, pointing your eyes to your phone screen that lit up. youknow everythin at it again. Opening the message, you scoffed.

[youknow everythin]: Please come to the party tonight <3 <3 <3

Typing back a mile a minute, you didn’t catch Tori circling the counters to end up at your side.

“What’s with the hearts?” she asked, startling you. Locking your phone you dropped it to the marble and shot her a glare. “Sorry,” she giggled. “You weren’t listening to me, I wanted to see what was so interesting.”

With a deep breath you groaned. “Nothing is interesting, I’m just being pestered by a grown adult with the mentality of a four year old.”

Tori screwed her face up in confusion and twirled around where she stood, her long waves brushing over your arm. She hopped up onto the counter, saving her drink from spilling, from experience. “Yunho has the mentality of a four year old?” About to sip from her cup, she cut herself short, eyes going wide, “You sure you aren’t talking to Wooy-”

A rash laugh blew through your lips, your eyes blazing into hers. “I’m sure!”

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, then waited four seconds before sipping her Red Bull. Your phone lit up again, Tori looking at it this time. “youknow everythin,” she sang like a song, swinging her head to look back at you. She was telling you something. Under the little smirk that grew she was saying something, and it was threatening to turn you red. “Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” she asked to break the silence that was deafening, you’re certain only for you.

Shaking your head the slightest, you shrugged. “I guarantee you I am not.”

She laughed once. “How are you not!?”

Glancing to your hands hovering by your phone that has lit up again, you messed with your fingers and muttered, “I got a lot on my mind.”

Tori leaned toward you, a hand grabbing onto your shoulder. She gave you a shake, and then another to get you to look at her, and when you did, she whispered, “We’re going to that party.”

[youknow everythin]: I miss you. I just want to see you. You don’t have to come if you don’t want to… I understand, you know I do. You just feel like my best friend right now, I don’t want to lose that.

september 6th ~  saturday ~ 12:03 a.m.

ATZ’s house stood three stories tall on the corner of the street opposite ITZ, three blocks south of the sorority. In the dark it was menacing, and all the more enticing. Large with tall, thick white pillars holding up each balcony of every floor. The exterior was a muted grey, making the shadows bounce off of it in the nighttime. The ceiling’s beneath the balconies were painted a pale teal blue, the light pouring out the windows illuminating the color giving the house a glow that pulled people through the front door.

Like moths to a flame.

The balconies wrapped around the entire house on the first, second and third floors. Every room had one, each boy blessed with the freedom of an escape if their president ever decided they were to be confined to their bedrooms for the time being while their favorite pastime was off limits.

Standing under the street lights before yours, you swallowed a sigh. The faint pulse of music and people’s chatter greeted you like an old friend. One you haven’t seen in three days. The drama. Glancing to your left, Tori wore a grin tapping away at her phone.

“Is this crazy?” you asked, throwing a hand toward the house. Pursing her freshly glossed lips, she looked at you without a change of face and she nodded.

“Oh, absolutely,” she said. “Especially becau-”

“Okay, I’m good, I’m good.”

The voice behind you, coming closer to you, boiled your blood ever so slightly.

Tori, ecstatic, shoved her phone in the pocket of her bell bottom jeans and clapped her hands together. “Thank god, I’m so excited for you.”

Turning on the balls of your feet, you forced a smile. “You’ll be fine, Mina.”

The sophomore, in a denim mini skirt and a pink long sleeved crop sweater, returned your smile. Hers was real. “He texted me,” she said in a rush, seemingly bouncing on her feet. “He apologized. For what I was talking about the other night.” Tori, lost, looked between you both.

“Apologized?” She scrunched her brows together. “What happened?”

Mina turned her chin, her hair swinging just below the gorgeous curve. “Nothing crazy,” she assured your roommate. “He’s just been distant, that's all. I mean, I understand. Aurora told me the other night that it could be the stress of coming back to school, preparing for the year… Normal stuff like that.” Mina shot you the smile. “It’s what he said,” she nodded, “That he just has a lot on his mind.”

Tori put a hand on Mina’s back, her eyes pointing to the ground for all of a second. “Let’s go find him,” she plastered her grin back on her face, looking to you for support. “Meen’s at an ATZ party!”

Laughing along with them you took Mina’s hand and Tori took the other. It gutted you that neither Ryujin or Yuna were tagging along, both grumbling about not wanting to get caught, and it’s too soon, you’ll get found out, give it time to settle first…

A part of you agreed. It was too soon. Knowing all the boys definitely knew about the ‘rule’ now too, tonight was guaranteed to be insufferable. Pair that with the fact that you’ll have to be around Yunho and Mina, and you’ll have to put up with Wooyoung, all of the above wanted to force you back into the safety of your bedroom where you could rot in your sweatpants and lock the door and never have another social interaction again. But, alas, here you were in a tight dark blue dress that Tori suggested you wear so you match her strapless tube top, being forced into many, many social interactions that may or may not possibly worsen your situation.

At the moment it was controlled.

You and Yunho were on the same page. You wouldn’t talk about it with anyone, you would move on. Your friendship would go back to the way that it was before anyone got drunk and handsy, and life would be good. Time would pass and things would go back to normal. Time will pass, and one day you won’t have butterflies in your belly while you walk up the steps to his front door with his consort in hand.

Mina and Tori babbled together, words you couldn’t process, not as the heavy white door swung open. Noise flooded the night air, twisting your gut with both adrenaline and anticipation. Mina’s hand tightened around yours, triggering you to look at her. Wide eyed, she wore a smile, taking in the stretch of a man who opened the front door.

Tan cargo pants with a skin tight black cut off tank tucked into them, Mingi grinned something silly, his light hair already hanging in front of his eyes, messy just the slightest. Two metal studs lived in his ears, matching the ones in Tori’s third hole on her lobes. He squinted in the night, the light inside not much brighter than the porch.

“Where’s your glasses?” Tori half scolded with a giggle, pulling her hand from Minas to topple forward onto her man. Her arms swung around his neck, his catching her around her waist. He squeezed her, lifting her off the floor while he pressed a thousand kisses to her cheek. “Makeup! I have makeup!” Tori squirmed, attempting to escape his grip.

Mingi put her feet on the floor and maneuvered her underneath one arm, extending his other into the house, an invitation for you and Mina, who’s hand you realized you were still holding. Tori dabbed at her cheek, muttering things to Mingi only he could hear. 

“Ladies,” he said, the smile never leaving his cheeks. “Pleasure to see you, come on inside.” Mina surprisingly took the lead, dragging you behind her up the step into the sticky air of ATZ. “Oh, stop,” Mingi bickered with Tori, his focus turning down to her. “So what if I did mess it up? You tryna impress someone else here?!”

A long hallway greeted you, extending many, many feet down to the end of the first floor. It was littered with people either stumbling into the next room hand in hand, or wandering toward the kitchen that resided in the back of the house behind the tall staircase pushed up against the wall to the left. The lights hanging from the spacious ceilings were all original, deep orange colored stained glass, and they were off for the night. The dim glow came from the room to the right, through the rounded archway accented with a thick brown hand carved wood.

ATZ hadn’t changed a lick since it was established. The dark walls, the dark hardwood floors, each generation left it alone. It was like stepping into a time capsule. A mesmerizing, charismatic, delightfully musky scented time capsule. It was clean, put together, and so undeniably sexy. As were the nine men who resided in the floors above.

Mesmerizing, charismatic, and so undeniably sexy.

Losing Tori at the door with Mingi you allowed Mina to pull you along, her head turning every which way as she took everything in. Glancing back you deemed her safe and in good hands, the two were already liplocked, Mingi walking Tori backward toward the stairs, both of his hands slipping into the back pockets of her jeans. You’d see her in an hour.

“Damn, Mina, it’s just us,” you said, turning back to the sophomore who yanked you down the hall, dodging bodies as she did. Eyes turned to follow you. Both of you. Suddenly this plan didn’t feel so good.

Her brown bob whipped your way. “Okay,” she breathed, taking notice that Tori disappeared. The wedges she wore on her feet came to a stop, one of your sandals jamming into the back one abruptly. With them on she stood an inch or so taller than you, and in this moment she looked down at you with a spark in her eye. “Is that what happens? Here?”

Holding back the face you wanted to make, you instead tilted your head. “What do you mean?”

Mina glanced up and around at a group of seniors you’ve seen before at these parties brushing past you with a happy greeting. Smiling at them, you shot them a quick wink before returning your attention to the sophomore still holding your hand. 

“They went upstairs,” Mina said, lifting her eyes to where Tori escaped.

“Yeah,” you said slowly. “But, they always do. She’ll be back, she’s okay.”

Mina huffed a laugh, meeting your eyes. “I know she’ll be back, I just…” She flitted her head about nervously, blinking a trillion times, emphasizing on something she wasn’t telling you. “You’ve been upstairs before?”

“No,” you pushed from your lips in a composed hurry. “Not in the way Tori goes upstairs, let me say that again. I have been upstairs, but not to fuck.” That was the truth. She cringed at your use of word, it made you laugh. “Oh, Mina.” Her lips pursed. “You don’t have to go upstairs if you don’t want to. I think I know what you’re thinking about.” Yunho. “You can say the words, it’s okay.”

Waiting until the hall cleared for a few seconds, Mina leaned closer to you, so close you could make out all the beauty marks on her smooth skin. “I’ve never… Done it before.”

“Okay,” you said, nodding. Placing your other hand on top of hers that clung onto you, smiled. “That’s okay.”

Chop chop, Tori and Mingi. 

In and out.

Hurry it up.

“I mean,” Mina glanced to the floor, collecting her thoughts before her shining eyes came back to yours. “I’ve done the other stuff. You know, I’m not a prude even though I probably come off as one.”

You shook your head, crinkling your lip. “You don’t, you don’t.”

Little bit.

“What happens if he wants to go upstairs?”

Well, that question shouldn’t hurt as much as it just did.

Gulping, you tossed your shoulders up, letting them fall as you shook your head. “That’s up to you to decide, Meens. If you’re ready, and you want to go, you go. If you don’t wanna, you say no.”

“Will he get mad if I say no?” Her whisper hurt you in a different sense this time.

You tapped her hand. “It’s Yunho. He won’t get mad. And, besides, if he did, Hongjoong would have him kicked out in seconds. Their president doesn’t fuck around here. Especially when it comes to that.”

She took in every word that fell from your mouth, nodding along in tiny. Letting it marinate in her brain, she pulled her hand away and smoothed out her sweater that danced above her belly button, a few inches of skin exposed between the soft fabric and the denim of her skirt.

“You’re right,” she said. “Thanks, Aurora.” Responding with a smile, she returned it. “I’m sorry, I feel like I’ve been sort of, up your… Up your ass.” She said the word at a whisper, her smirk growing straight after.

Narrowing your eyes, you pressed a hand to your chest in fake shock. “Mina… Watch your mouth, for fucks sake.” The giggles that erupted immediately eased all of the tension that had built up around the two of you. Tension only you noticed, you hoped. “If you wanna stay with me tonight, that’s totally fine. We just have to be careful of pictures and stuff like that, but I’d love to help you get more acquainted with this place, it’s so fun to-”

“Ror!?” The most beautiful voice traveled halfway down the hall from the kitchen, where you and Mina had stopped. Looking over Mina's shoulder, you had no time to think before feet barrelled down the hardwood, arms wrapped around your waist and you were in the air, thrown over a shoulder. “No fucking way, I GOT HER!” The leather vest wearing, bulky bicep animal who grabbed you whirled around, facing you toward Mina as he took off for the kitchen.

Smiling ear to ear, Mina followed behind him, trying to keep up. Swatting at his back you groaned and flipped your hair backward, praying that the top of your dress hadn’t ridden down. Pressing your lips into a line, you flatlined your brows, letting Mina know this happened every time. She cupped her cheeks and laughed. You caught her eyes traveling down the backside of the leather wearing monster. This really was a whole new world for her.

Tucking those thoughts away, you turned your chin to catch a glimpse of the man who held you. Slicked back, neatly cut black hair lived atop his head. He kept it shorter in the back and along the sides. You caught a glimpse of necklaces around his neck, probably hanging down his chest over the bare skin showing through his vest that was definitely unbuttoned. You could feel it on your thighs.  The pants he wore matched the top, the low rise waist hanging right at the base of his hips, accenting the curve of his ass, the leather hugging his muscular thighs just right.

“You slut,” you laughed, lifting a hand to slap him where you knew he liked it. A sweet, shameless sound came out of him, echoing in the end of the hall as his head tossed backward. His hands slid down to your thighs, gripping your bare skin below the hem of your dress. Letting out a yelp at the shift of weight, he simply laughed within his chest. His fingers squeezed the soft skin between your legs, obviously having to adjust every few seconds, he couldn’t get a good hold. It tickled, and as much as you tried to hold back your giggles and squirms, the way his fingers knew how to move was too much. “Down, San!”

More boys and girls moved up and down the hall as he carried you, Mina absorbing every single second of every single moment, though it seemed like she was looking out for what you warned her about. Everyone who ducked out of San’s way looked up at you, either in shock or with a laugh. Every face that came and went you had seen before, so it seemed thus far you were in the clear. It was normal, this was normal.

ITZ girls at an ATZ party? Normal.

San dressed in some ridiculous get up with eyes glued to his dick? Normal.

He turned into the kitchen full of a small group of people, the hanging chandelier in here also dimmed like the living room. Sliding his hands up your body, over your ass, to your waist, he lowered you to your feet with an energy so forced your knees gave out, but his hands caught you. Around your back they held you, big and strong, and he hovered above you. A sideways, shit eating grin graced his pink lips. A singular strand of black hair fell over his forehead, the smallest, most attractive accent for his sharp features.

“You’re a dick,” you said softly, smiling up at him. His moves were on purpose, they always were. San was calculated, he was quick. He could pick up your next move before you’ve even thought about it. 

Flickering his eyes to your lips, he softened his smile and breathed through a laugh. “Nice to see you too, Ror.”

“You can let me go now,” you said, and he obliged, swiftly pulling you steady on your feet. 

Taking a finger below your chin, he drug the digit under your jaw with a smirk, and then his body was his, and yours was yours. “Drinks?” he asked with a brow raise, making sure to look at Mina as well. “Hi, pretty,” he smized with a knee buckling head tilt, and the sophomore blushed. “I’m surprised to see you here.”

“She’s off limits, Sannie,” you muttered, fixing your dress. San pointed his gaze to your fingers at the hem of the blue fabric, then to your eyes.

“I know,” he said, his voice flowing like sultry music. “I’ve been debriefed.”

“Debriefed?” Mina asked, taking all of Sans' attention. His dark eyes ate her up, shamelessly fawning up and down her body, ending on her eyes that were all too wide and innocent for the man standing in front of her. San wore his thoughts on his face, you knew exactly what he was thinking about at this very moment. Thankfully, Mina did not.

“You’re Yunho’s girl,” San tipped his chin back, looking down at her. With the smallest gasp, Mina snapped her jaw and whipped her chin to shoot you the look of surprise. You forced a smile onto your lips. 

So, that was the story in this house, too.

“I am?” Mina nearly squeaked.

San’s smize turned up to a hundred, his heat quite literally filling the air. A tiger ready to pounce.

“San,” you stole his focus and actively watched the lust somewhat leave his eyes. “Those drinks would be nice.” Taking his bottom lip between his teeth, he nodded, caught one last look at Mina then started behind you, pausing at your side for a moment more.

Looking up into his siren eyes, the deepest, clearest chocolate brown, you kept the San mental shield up as he said, voice low, tickling your skin, “You’re not off limits, Ror.”

“San,” you whispered, giving him the most polite look you could conjure up. “We’ve talked about this.”

The smallest pout found his gorgeous, kissable lips. Taking a hand to your bare shoulder he watched his own finger as he drew circles over your skin. “You’ll tell me when,” he whispered. Only his eyes lifted to look at you through his lashes. “Right?”

“Right,” you nodded once. “You have a house full of people, Sannie.” Putting a finger on his chest, you drug it toward the waist of his leather pants, entirely too low, and tugged on the fabric when your finger hooked in it. San watched it, his brows furrowing above his eyes with the subtlest inhale through his lips. “You look all cute, does no one wanna play with you?”

“Someone already has,” he whispered, looking to you with just his eyes. 

“Mm!” you hummed happily, giving him a smile, one he returned. “See, you don’t need me.” His jaw tightened. Taking your finger out of his pants, you placed your hand over his cheek and drug your thumb over his cheekbone. “Drinks, Sannie. Please?” Widening your eyes ever so slightly, his shaky inhale and twist of his lips made you smile, too.

He didn’t need to say anything, he spoke with his eyes. Taking off into the depths of the kitchen, around people standing around, leaning on counters talking, he’d be back. He’d find his way back. He always did. Spinning in a small circle, watching him go, when you faced Mina, almost forgetting she was in the same room, you find that she found a way to keep herself occupied. 

“Oh, Aurora!” She wore a smile, an excited smile. “Look who I found.”

Yunho stood in the archway beside her focused on San and where he wandered off to. As if on defense, he snapped out of it when Mina called your name, smiling down at her. It took him a couple beats to look your way, but when he did it was as if his gaze pierced you through the heart.

He wore a t-shirt, a black one with that damn chain hanging beneath the collar. Everything else was the same as you saw him earlier in the day. Jeans, sneakers, hair pushed forward over his glasses. He was the same. He was just Yunho.

It was just Yunho!

“Hey, Rory,” he said. Mina couldn’t take her eyes off of him. Poor girl was smitten.

“Hey, Yo,” you said, jaw clenching as he gave his smile back to Mina.

“Was not expecting this one to be here when Mingi told me you guys were coming,” he said, putting a hand on the wood over Mina’s shoulder. 

Fluttering her lashes she shrugged. “You know, it’s kind of your fault we’re here.”

Yunho frowned, his eyebrows squishing together, and it was apparently funny because Mina giggled like crazy. “My fault? You’re the one here breaking the rules, aren’t you? I didn’t tell you to sneak out of the house.”

Mina playfully rolled her eyes. “No, you didn’t tell me to, but Tori said you guys know how to climb their side of the house, so we had a way down and out!”

“Oh, they told you about that, did they?” Yunho, maintaining this… act, or whatever he was doing, gave you a disappointing look. “Thanks, Rory. Now I’ll be in trouble.”

“Rory,” Mina repeated, eyeing Yunho’s lips as he said it. “That’s such a cute nickname.” She shot a smile toward you for only a second, not wanting to miss a moment of her man.

Yunho, with a sheepish shrug and downturn of his lips, said, “It’s nothin’.”

It’s what he’s called you since you met him.

Within a game of two truths and a lie at the start of the semester he admitted he secretly loved that old show Gilmore Girls. And thus, the Rory thing began. He’s the only one to ever call you Rory to this day.

“It makes me think of this show my mom liked to watch,” Mina said, and Yunho’s act faltered.

“Gilmore Girls?” They both questioned at the same time, falling into laughter together at their own shock of saying the same thing. You could’ve told them that, having the same thought at the same time as them, you could’ve joined in on the laughter as well. But, it didn’t look fun.

With a breath, you muttered, “Cute,” and turned to search for San.

You needed a drink.

Or several.

Weaving through the bodies lounging about the space dripping in shiney dark wood, you approached the circular table in the back corner where several boys sat with cans in their hands. You recognized them all, but only a few were eligible to greet you.

“Aurora!” Yeosang and his wavy chestnut hair raised the beer he held. “You’re here?!” Another head perked up at his shout, long, almost shoulder length black hair and a sharp, slender nose.

“I”m here,” you smiled, holding a hand in the air. A cold can was placed inside of it, your fingers wrapping around it quickly. Yanking it down, you spun and gave San a sweet smile, leaning in to give his cheek a peck. “Thank you, San,” you said, cracking the drink of fruity bubbles open yourself.

“You’re welcome,” he said, looking down at it. “Can I?”

Putting the skinny can in his hand, you nodded. “‘Course.” 

San, keeping his eyes on yours, poked his tongue slightly from his lips and pressed your drink to it, taking the smallest sip before returning it to you. “Your turn.” Copying him, tongue out, lips pressed to the can, you sipped it while you watched him and gave him a wink. A quiet groan escaped him as he smiled. Then, he was gone as fast as he found you.

“Cute.” There was a boy around every corner it seemed. Turning yourself toward the table of men, long, almost shoulder length black hair smirked up at you where he sat. Taking to his side, you tousled his hair and snickered.

“You just gotta know how to appease him,” you said. Seonghwa, leaning over the back of the wooden chair that matched the rest of the kitchen, laughed and shook his head.

“You’ve got a soft spot for San,” he narrowed his eyes, teasing you.

Sipping your drink, you weighed the options with a few twists of your hips. “And if I do?” You smacked your lips, licking the sweetness off of them. Seonghwa watched, then licked his own.

He beckoned you closer with a wag of his finger. “Then I’d say you’re not the only one,” he said loud enough for you to hear, then you laughed with him. Pushing his chair out from the table a bit, tucking his long legs under the chair, he tapped his lap without taking his eyes off of you. “Stay a while.”

Raising your eyebrows, eyeing the group of men who paid no attention to what was happening, you gave him a look. “Vice President Seonghwa, I know you are not telling me to sit on your lap.”

He laughed, dark and sweet. “I am,” he tapped his lap again and pushed his hair out of his face with his other hand, exposing his sculpted features to the dim kitchen light, the shadows contouring around his face like magic. “I miss you. Where’ve you been?”

“Around,” you said, following his request by sliding onto his lap over his knee. On the edge at first, nervous to sit back too far, Seonghwa took matters into his own hands and hooked an arm around your waist, tugging you closer to him. Your knees basically straddled his one, his hand finding solace on your bare thigh, just below the hem of your dress.

“Around?” he parroted in question, moving the chair closer to the table, your bottom halves lost beneath it. “You were here Monday, right?”

Twisting on his lap, your knees moving between both of his legs, you looked at him and his breathtaking beauty and pouted. “I was,” you sighed. “And then we got in trouble… Like little kids.” Taking a sip of your drink while he laughed, you expressed your regret with a roll of your eyes.

“Mingi kinda let it slip to us,” he said, his speaking voice alway so soft and full of purpose. “Tori told him what happened.”

“Of course she did,” you grumbled.

Seonghwa reached for a short glass he had on the table, half full of a cinnamon smelling liquor. “Uh oh,” he sang, sipping the drink that sparked your fancy. “What goes on?”

“What is that?” Taking his glass from him, he let you, you took a whiff and cringed. It was awful up close, much better from far away.

Like Wooyoung!

Seonghwa couldn’t wipe the smile off his face. “Fireball,” he said, and you shot him a look of disgust. “And rum, some peach and cranberry juice, hey, don’t judge until you try it.”

“How do you get past that… smell,” you said, faking a gag over your shoulder. 

Leaning toward you a bit, he placed an elbow on the table. “Some of us like that smell, Aurora.” The smile he wore had swapped for one more stern. “Don’t be a bitch, take a sip and find out for yourself.” He even made cuss words sound pretty, though somehow the kick was more intense.

You listened to him, straightening up where you were perched on his thigh and took the glass to your lips, letting some of the liquid hit your tongue. Getting it down fast, swallowing within milliseconds, the chuckle that came out of him was borderline condescending. Fixing your face, keeping it neutral though tears stung your eyes, you gave him the glass and bobbed your head.

“Don’t like it?” he asked, his gaze dancing all around your face. Looking him in the eyes, gauging how to answer, you opted for a head shake and that chuckle left him again. “That’s okay,” he assured you, his hand on your thigh giving you a squeeze. “You tried it, I’m proud of you.” “Thanks,” you whispered, fixated on his eyes.

“Now,” he started, putting the glass on the table. Facing you like he was, he balanced an elbow on the table and gave you his full attention. “Tell me what happened with Tori, baby.”

And you did, for about an hour.

Starting with the fact that Tori spilled everything to Mingi all of the time, you let that trickle into the ban that was set into place, which then turned into you telling him how you snuck out of your bedroom to end up here on his lap. Within each story a drink was opened by Seonghwa and finished by you. He used whichever boy was closest to a fridge to bring one over to him, all he had to do was lift a finger in the air and he had one in his hand. 

Somewhere along the way your schedule for the year was brought up, you shared you and your sisters anxieties over recruitment this year, and somehow it all boiled back down to Wooyoung and the shit you went through last semester.

You were on drink four, and whatever kept getting poured in Seonghwa’s cup was more and more appetizing as the night went on.

“I’ll have it,” you said, nibbling your bottom lip as a boy in a blue sweater slid it across the table for Seonghwa to grab. He was able to snatch it before you, pulling it away with a grin. “Lemme have it,” you whispered, dipping your chin down.

His other hand had been sliding up and down the inside of your thigh for the last fifteen minutes… You think.

“You didn’t like it, Aurora,” he said, keeping his voice down. Sipping from the glass, eyes on you, he perked a brow.

“No, it was shit,” you were only speaking truths at the moment, and he found it funny. “Let me try again, I promise you I’ll like it better this time, Hwa.”

“Will you?” he asked, and when you nodded, sure of yourself, he handed over the drink and waited for you to hate it all over again.

Taking a sniff like you did earlier, you exhaled in dramatized pleasure, fluttering your eyes shut, and Seonghwa shook his head, his hair caressing his cheekbones. “Absolutely…” you paused to take a sip that was more like a gulp. Seonghwa quickly put his hand on the bottom and eased it down from your lips. “Delicious,” you said, wiggling your brow.

The glass made it safely on the table and Seonghwa drug his tongue over his teeth, looking at you in disbelief. “You got me,” he shrugged. He leaned into you, the space between you growing smaller. “Proved me wrong.”

His lips, soft and full, made your legs close, trapping his hand between them. Unknowingly checking him out, drunk enough to not know what your subconscious was consciously doing in the driver's seat, you took a hand to his jaw and danced your fingers along the underside. Like San had done to you earlier.

Seonghwa, surprised, but letting you do your thing, wore a soft smile when he asked, “You’re alright though, right?”

His features worked in perfect harmony. The slope of his nose down to his lips, and his stunning smile. The depth of his eyes balanced the seemingly innocent wonder he typically wore in expression. A beautifully crafted exterior to match the heart he carried within.

You knew what he meant when he asked you if you were alright. He was there that night, he was close with Yunho, though not as close as Yunho and Mingi, but he was closer than the others. When you became friends with Yunho you met Seonghwa, you’ve known him almost as long as Yunho.

Yunho, damn.

Where did he end up? Mina’s here, they’re probably together, and it’s been too long and neither of them have tried to find you. Maybe he did take her upstairs. She’d probably let him take her upstairs. It shouldn’t matter to you whether or not they went upstairs, but for some reason it hurts. For christ sake, you only started to hook up with Yunho to get over the Wooyoung thing, you never intended for it to become this. You didn’t expect to have feelings for him, your longest friend here at Nasara.

Granted, the Wooyung thing still hurts like a bitch. He didn’t care. He whispered sweet nothings, promises of tomorrow, kissed your lips like you were the most precious thing in the world to him, and then took Yeji to bed.

Couple the both together, and it sucked.

No one knew you and Yunho had done anything, so it wasn’t even like you could say anything to anybody about it. You couldn’t even talk about it, vent about it, get the frustration out. It all had to stay inside, you were forced to keep it inside. Yunho seemed fine with continuing his pursuit of Mina, it’d been over an hour, or more, and no one had come looking for you. Even Tori. Where was she? Helping Mina with Yunho? Still fucking her boyfriend? She was probably helping Mina with Yunho, getting the two of them together, making sure they live happily ever after!

“What are you thinking about?” Seonghwa whispered, bringing you back into the moment. Your thumb was over his bottom lip, the plush skin incredibly soft to the touch. There were centimeters between you, and your thighs were squeezing his hand tight. 

Sucking in a breath, you whispered, “Too much.”

“Tell me.” Speaking in whispers, the both of you, his eyebrows lowered, worried. “Did something else happen?” All you could do was nod, but then as your bottom lip crinkled Seonghwa pushed the chair away from the table of boys talking too loud to notice you guys were leaving.

He got you on your feet and wrapped an arm around your waist, keeping you close to him. Walking side by side out of the kitchen, you melted into his touch, his powerful, safe hold, and scanned each room for a sign of anyone you were dying to see.

Yunho, Tori, Mina.

Wooyoung.

Out in the hall, Seonghwa, several inches taller than you, kept you out of direct view and whisked you toward the end by the front door, making a sharp turn up the staircase. He made sure you made it up every step, taking his time beside you as you clung to him for balance.

A babble of, “I didn’t drink so much,” and, “How are you not as drunk as me?” came out of you and he simply smiled and assured you with, “I’m much bigger than you,” and, “Trust me, I’m drunk.”

You made it into his bedroom on the second floor, the room between Yeosang and Yunho’s, directly in the center of the hall straight off the staircase. Several others lined the hall on the wrap around of the stairs before they went up again to the third floor. Luckily it was his own, ATZ didn’t have to share like ITZ.

Once inside, Seonghwa shut the door quietly and took a deep breath, shifting his attention to you, full of concern. Unsure of what to say, he let you wander his room for a minute before he asked, “Are you okay?”

His room was utterly him. Blue grey walls with photos and a few posters hanging up strategically, the floor was neat and clean, all of his drawers shut properly and everything on top of them placed with precision. There was a softness to it all, but then the hints came out, the sort of unexpected spice he carried within his eyes. It came out in the dark decor hiding in plain sight, and the way the belts hanging on his wall weren’t placed there for daily wearing accessibility. A bottle of whiskey lived on his nightstand, and the books beside it definitely weren’t for a class.

Turning to look at him, his voice once more pulling you back, you shook your head and took your time walking up to where he still stood at the door. “No,” you whispered, your voice filling the air that was much quieter than downstairs. Seonghwa, brows flipped over, nodded slightly, waiting for you to say more. “Everything is just… a mess.”

“Right,” he whispered, having no possible clue as to what you were talking about. Reaching out your hands you grabbed onto the black button up he was wearing, the top three buttons undone, and closed the space between you, pushing him back against his door. His eyes clouded over with that unexpected spice. 

Taking a hand behind him, he pressed the lock on his door, and when it clicked into place you whispered, “Make me forget.”

Hands taking to your neck, he tipped your head back and pressed his lips to yours, heavy and hungry. Without a second wasted a hand was in your hair, the other sliding down your body to grab onto the fabric of your dress, hiking it above your waist. Wrapping both arms around his neck, you succumbed to his touch, to his hold, letting him do as he pleased. Working your lips against his, every following kiss longer, wetter, noisier, you tangled your fingers in his hair. His long, soft hair that brushed his shoulders and now tickled your cheeks.

Seonghwa took both hands to your waist and lifted you up, your legs instinctively wrapping around him. Within the kisses he took you to his bed, laying you sideways over the mattress, the dark blankets beneath about to be rumpled into a heap on the floor. Rolling his body into yours, a gasp shot through you as he pushed his hips where you needed him most.

“Oh my god, Seonghwa,” you breathed, knitting your fingers in his locks. The laugh that came out of him made you buck your hips up against him, longing to feel that definitely larger than average bulge in his pants.

Listening to you, following how your body responded, he rolled his hips and reveled in the sound you made for him, drinking it up through parted lips and shared air, then he kissed you again, slipping his tongue inside. Taking his time, kissing you with a calculated conscience, he took his hands down your body, sure to caress every curve. He hooked his thumbs in the little lacey thong you slipped on beneath your dress for no reason in particular, and pulled it off of you, tossing it somewhere on his floor.

Moaning something nasty into his mouth as he drug one of his fingers over your soaked center, he smirked on your lips as your legs spread even further for him.

“Is nobody fucking you, Aurora?” Seonghwa looked down at you and wrapped his other hand around your jaw, his thumb taking to your bottom lip, pulling it open. Eyes wide, you stared up at him, a completely different Seonghwa than the one you were sitting with ten minutes ago. Nodding as best as you could in his grip, he scoffed. “Yes?”

“Yes,” you breathed. 

He dipped his thumb into your mouth and pressed it to your tongue while he tutted his own. “They’re not doing a very good job, are they?” 

He did a good job.

He did a very good job, Yunho did.

Seonghwa sensed the thoughts. Pulling his thumb from your mouth he pressed both his thumb and fingers to your cheeks, studying how you were locked the fuck in.

“Who is it?” he asked. You gulped and shook your head as best as you could, he was strong. “That means I know who it is,” he flashed you a smile you’ve never seen before, something so devilish it forced a whine from your throat. “You don’t want me to know, do you?”

“No,” you said, muffled with how he held onto your jaw.

Poking his cheek with his tongue, he flashed that smile and nodded. “Why not?” You answered with a shake of your head. “Oh, come on, baby, you can tell me.”

“Can’t,” you whispered, and his brows lowered the slightest.

“You’re not in trouble, are you?”

“No!” You would’ve leapt up if he wasn’t holding you down.

Seonghwa watched you, his face softening, and then he nodded. “Okay,” he spoke above a whisper. Eyes dancing down your face to your lips, he whispered, “Open,” and you listened. He groaned within his chest. “Such a good girl,” he half whined. “No way Yunho taught you to be this good of a listener.”

Your heart sank. 

Your stomach flipped. 

Your blood ran ice fucking cold.

Eyes shooting open wide, Seonghwa mimicked your shock until it turned into a laugh. “You’re kidding me?” He took the hand between your bodies and messed with the buttons on his pants. “I had the smallest chance, and you’re telling me I guessed it right on the first try?”

Wiping the feelings from your face, you whispered, “Shut up. I’m drunk, I don’t know what you were talking about.”

“I’m drunk, too, baby,” Seonghwa cooed, his lips taking to your neck, messy kisses sliding up and down your skin, pulling you back under his spell. His thumb brushed over the spot you were dying for him to touch, a few expert, well practiced twists of the joint enough to have you a babbling mess under him.

“Hwa, please,” you gasped, and he finally kicked his pants off, wearing that devilish grin that was going to make you burst before he was even inside of you. With a hand between you, he pushed his length through your arousal, teasing you.

“Ror,” he said softly, dipping his head down to kiss your cheek. “Are you sure?”

Grabbing his face, squishing his own cheeks together like he had yours, his hair framing his face and brushing your own, you nodded and whispered, “Make me… forget.”

It didn’t take much else, he pushed himself inside of you, his forehead pressing to yours, keeping himself where he could see you, where he could watch you lose yourself in him. The sound that came from you matched the face he made when he gave you all of him, his brows synching in the center, his teeth clenched, but his lips parted. 

With every slow push of his hips and every beautiful sound that came from either of you, he felt you, could hear you adjust, and once your body welcomed him and your nails dug crescents into his back and your eyes clouded over in pleasure, he knew he could take you where he wanted.

He would make you forget.

NU home ✧ nice for what masterlist ✧ talk to me ✧ thank you for reading <3

you do not have permission to copy or translate my works without my consent.

[sillimancer]

probably a worthy footnote: my current therapist is my... (counts on fingers) ...ninth? therapist? over the past decade (not counting the handful I saw during my brief stint in inpatient). and of those nine, maybe three of them didn't strike me as outright incompetent, even if they couldn't help me specifically (one actually was quite helpful in her own way, but she was technically a student working for a free clinic where turnover was high, and she left without warning. that sucked).

one of the less competent therapists suggested to me that my problems stemmed from trauma... from a past life. I can't say with any degree of confidence whether reincarnation is real but I can say, with absolute authority and zero doubt, that my current life is what's causing me problems.

the shopping around process sucked. I gave up several times. and before I found my current therapist I was lowkey a therapy skeptic, especially from the autistic perspective. I didn't think neurotypical therapy would help (and I still believe that tbh). it wasn't until I found a therapist with similar life experience--in my specific case, a gender non-conforming neurodivergent therapist--that I became a believer.

you're never gonna hear me disparage someone for not wanting to subject themselves to modern-day healthcare because, particularly in the US, calling it a nightmare would be unfair to nightmares. but I do begrudgingly cosign the usefulness of a therapist. it only took ten years.

today's advice is: if you CAN start seeing a therapist, you definitely SHOULD

[oldguardleatherdog]

The Night Before the Tribute In Light

September 10, 2003

I.

One month ago today, this long-forgotten photo suddenly popped up in the photo app on my laptop. I took this photo with my Sanyo clamshell phone on September 10, 2003, 21 years ago tonight, from Hudson River Park in Manhattan.

Don't ask me how it survived all these years or where it's been stored all this time or how in the world it could have found its way to me from the long-dead storage servers of a long-defunct cell phone carrier. We're in the penumbra of The Anniversary, and time is out of joint.

I had been back in New York for about a month (after getting violently run out of the place I was staying by a fellow who is now one of my closest friends), homeless and living in that roach-infested HIV crack-house shelter at 96th and Broadway that I describe in "The One Decent Thing I Ever Did" (it’s archived on this blog), and you can imagine my state of head and spirit at this moment, the night before the 2nd anniversary of the terror attacks on the World Trade Center that drove me from my home in Lower Manhattan, four blocks east of the site.

I was sitting on a bench in Hudson River Park on the West Side of Manhattan, somewhere near Houston Street, maybe ten or fifteen blocks north of World Trade. I hadn't noticed these beams of light as I walked, and I think they might have just been activated while I was sitting there. As I recall, it was a full moon in Virgo, and I was positioned just right to snap this shot. I had *no* idea what this was all about, as I recall, but I thought the image was so striking and affecting that I wanted to capture it.

As it turns out, this was the tech run-through for the first September 11th installation of the “Tribute In Light”. Here’s Google’s AI summary of this remarkable memorial:

So there I was, just two years after the blast, stunned by this sudden, mysterious apparition rising from just south of what was still a giant, messy hole in the ground. I was still not fully myself at that time and would not regain my full memory or sense of who I was until the following January (therein lies a tale!), and as I recall I was just numbly stunned, not knowing what to make of it.

As I write, I’m getting the physical sense memory of that moment: the dog in me (my medulla oblongata speaking) feels his hackles rise, it’s not what I expect to see filling the hole in the sky, is it another attack? Do I bark at it, sound an alarm, run towards it, away from it, why is there light there, is this some unholy ruse, another trick being played on me from that big smoky hole where nothing but poison has spilled out for the longest time?

My phone rang. It was a fellow that I had met and hung out with in San Francisco while I was stranded there, and I was stunned to hear from him, especially at that moment. “Hi Dave… well, right now I’m on the riverfront looking at the damnedest thing… [I just wanted to make sure you were ok] hey, thanks for checking in… yeah, take care bud.” I closed the phone and started walking south along the riverfront, toward the light beams.

When I got there, I saw the massive banks of klieg lights assembled in their arrays, a strange and unfamiliar (unwelcome) echo of the shapes and the placement and the footprints of the place I loved so well.

The faces of the artists who surrounded the lights were intense, focused, sober. I still didn’t quite know what was going on, but there was profound reverence in the air, on those faces, at that place, as the beams of pure white light soared upwards, past the point of naked-eye discernment, unending, likely petering out tens of thousands of feet off that spoiled piece of ground, perhaps piercing the ionosphere, did they get clearance from the Federal Aviation Administration for this? Are pilots being disoriented by these columns at 45,000 feet? Do they touch the feet of God?

II.

And I kept walking south, my back to the light,

Down to the oldest part of the civilized island,

Past the Battery, the bronze bull, the buttonwood tree,

The Port of New York dead ahead,

The Staten Island Ferry terminal, ramshackle, ancient,

Entry restricted by terror tape and armed sentinels

No two uniforms alike, a panoply of enforcement,

Heavy weapons at the ready, so jarring in my neighborhood,

And the working dogs with the keen snouts, the trained muzzles,

Jumping up to paw at the brown bag in the soldier’s hand

Is that peanut butter? Apple? Hunk of cheese?

Let’s play! You’ve been so serious, so worried,

You smell sad and scared, are you lost? Let’s play!

Even Cerberus needs break time, belly rubs, treats!

For the first time in weeks, I smile to myself

As I round past the ferry, those strange lights at my back.

Hope I can sneak past the turnstile downstairs,

I won’t have to hike back up three hundred blocks

To that awful low place. Did you know roaches bite?

They shit on you too. Try to sleep, fully dressed,

Watch cap pulled low on my head, long sleeved shirt

Buttoned up to the collar, heavy pants tucked in boots,

Gloves on my hands, one more night without food

Half-bag of speed takes my mind off the pain

Sleep comes in fits if at all. – On the train

Dreading the stop: ninety-sixth street and Broadway.

Tomorrow, this city will jack itself off

In performative weeping and gnashing and cursing

Oh, how we loved them! I snort in derision,

You didn’t lose nothin', you pieces of shit!

Let the dead bury the dead. Beams of light

Don’t feed this refugee reeking of ashes -

What, do I smell bad? So sorry to stink up

The place where you’ve laid out the feast for your friends

Who still have their jobs, their high homes in the towers

Behind the glass doors where your larders are stocked

With the food that you bought with your government money

That flooded your midtown Manhattan apartment

With all the new clothes, electronics, the sausages

Fresh from Enrico’s, Zabar’s, D’agostino’s,

Bought with the Victim’s Fund money you stole

When you filed your claim. “OMG, it was awful!

“I couldn’t get up to the fifty-fourth floor,

“I had to find shelter on Upper Park Avenue.

“Power was out. I was homeless that night!

“So glad that my friend who was shopping in Gramercy

“Gave me the number to call for my claim

“September 11th was horrid! I told them

“I couldn’t go home for two nights! Oh, thank God

“The claim got approved with a wink and a nod

“And no one’s the wiser – I’ve never been south

“Of the Plaza Hotel! That all happened on Wall Street,

“Who goes down there? Jesus Christ, are you kidding?

“That’s four miles away! Christopher, are you coming

“Or what? Reservations at Nobu won’t wait

“For you or for me, so quit primping!”

The pain

In my stomach, relentless. My gorge won’t stop heaving.

Am I gonna make it? Damn, *ouch!* What the fuck…

The tooth that I hoped would hold out just gave way,

Fuck me. Another huge hole in my grille.

When I made six figures and lived in a high-rise,

Fuck buddies laughing on Saturday night,

Nobody told me that one hundred minutes

And two hijacked jet planes would make such a difference.

No one will laugh with me now – my best friends

Are yelling and angry, how dare I show up

Sweaty and toothless, a walking reminder

Of September tenth. No, I’m not gonna feed you.

III.

Now, twenty years later, they’ve retooled their memory:

“Animal! Damn, dog! We’ve missed you, you know,

“Wow, you’re alive! You look fabulous! Listen,

“I never gave up on you. Give a call

“When you come to the City. I want you to meet

“My beautiful husband – he remembers you too!”

IV.

Twin beams of light where the Towers were anchored,

Okay, not exactly precisely those spots,

But who’s gonna criticize? Look and recall

How majestic they were. Yeah, the new One World Trade

Is cool, I suppose – no one mentions the absence

Of Two World Trade Center. Insurance, you know.

Not enough money or civic ambition,

And Bloomberg discouraged it. Why add a target?

“Don’t you think sixty or seventy stories

“Are more than enough? Hell, let’s just get it done.

“The sooner we finish construction, the better.”

V.

*There will never be lumens of adequate volume

Sufficient to seal that hole in the sky,

But the hole in my heart I will finish, I tell you.

Walk with me as I go forward. Tomorrow

I’m back in the studio. Tonight, we can play!

You smell like apples and – damn, is that chocolate?

(our light beams shine upward forever)

"Good boy!"

Animal J. Smith

San Francisco, California

September 10, 2024