#but yeah It's Storm she's gonna look gorgeous either way and her outfits are fine. no heavy complaints. bar the biggest one //SOBS//

[xxplastic-cubexx]

We know you hate Marvel Rivals design for Erik, but what about Storm's design? Do you did Ororo's drip or do you hate?

i wish her hair was textured but her outfits are fine

[marvelmadam08]

Baby Blues 14/?

Summary: Chris takes Alex out on a date.

Warnings: Swearing, nudity, Mature content 18+

A/N: I had to reevaluate some things, but I’m back now.

~~~~~~

8 Weeks (And 5 Days Old)

Ace's new favorite place to nap was on his momma, Alex couldn't even attempt to move away without waking him. Ace could sleep through almost anything except that. The doorbell? No reaction. Dodger or Chris making noise? Nothing. Alex moving him so she can pee? He screams bloody murder.

Which is how Alex conducted her video call with Sarah, her editor, in bed and Ace sleeping on her chest.

"He is just so freaking cute." Sarah pouts "And he looks just like Chris."

"I know." Alex turned the camera back to her face "So what's going on? What's the talk around the publishing house?"

"You or rather the fact that you aren't back yet."

"I've been a little busy."

Sarah laughs softly "They know, and they want to know if you got the baby gifts. And I think I speak for everyone when I ask: what's going on in that head of yours?"

"What do you mean?"

"Your next book. People are awaiting the next Alex Evans best seller."

Alex chuckled "I haven't thought about writing since Alexander was born. I wouldn't even know where to start."

"Well, maybe a spin off series from your last one? Everyone loves a different perspective."

"No." Alex shook her head "Doing that just feels like I've run out of ideas and I'm trying to hang on to my fifteen minutes of fame."

"Fifteen minutes my ass, and I say that as both friend and editor. I know you have something floating around in that head of yours and plenty of abandoned drafts on your laptop. I've seen your desktop."

Alex shrugged "I guess I could look through those. Maybe it'll spark something."

Down the hall Alex heard the front door open and close followed by Dodger running through the house, and Chris's voice.

"Al?" Chris called out

"In here. I'll talk to you later Sarah."

"Okay, think about what I said."

Chris came in and saw Alex and Ace lying on the bed, and the smile he already had on his face got brighter. He crawled up on his side of the bed, keeping himself propped up on his elbow.

"Would you like to go on a date with me?" He asked

"Hello to you too."

"I'm sorry, hi.” he leaned over Ace to give Alex a peck on the lips “Do you wanna go on a date with me?"

"Chris, we're married." Alex jokingly reminded him

"And I want to take my gorgeous wife out on a date tonight." He slightly pouts

"You must have another wife, because this one doesn’t plan on doing anything that requires a bra.”

Chris smirked “You don’t have to put on one. C’mon Al, you deserve it, you've been all about Ace since he was born. We need a night out together- alone."

Alex smiled "Baby as much as I love the gesture, it's last minute. Who's gonna watch Ace?"

"I called my mom and she said yes before I could even finish."

"You're serious?"

He nods "Go get dressed, I’ll watch the offspring." Chris pulled Ace out of Alex's arms, giving him soft kisses when he began to stir "Hey sleepyhead, guess what, you’re gonna hang out with Grandma tonight."

***

Getting Alex out of the house was more difficult than Chris expected. She changed twice, then Ace spit up on the third outfit, which wouldn’t have happened if Alex wasn’t trying to sneak him in the car. And then Alex went into extensive detail about Ace’s sleeping and eating schedule and the escape plan in case of disasters.

"Al, the the fourth time you've checked your phone. Ace is fine, if something went wrong, which it won't, my mother would call us." Chris assured her

"I know, I know." She sighed then set her phone face down on the table "I'm not gonna check it anymore."

Both Alex and Chris looked at the phone, he knew she would reach for it and she knew he would try to stop her. It only mattered who moved faster to grab it.

"I’m just gonna check my email."

Chris pulled her phone away before she could attempt to reach for it, then proceeded to shove the phone down his pants.

“No phones.”

“Fine, no phones.”

"Good, because I want your undivided attention." Chris lightly traced patterns on the back of her left hand, playing with the ring on her finger "Is it a crime that I want to spend some quality time with my beautiful, sexy wife?"

"Not at all, when she gonna get here?" Alex picked at the food on her plate

Although it was meant as a joke, Chris could see the sudden discomfort in Alex's eyes. "What's that about?"

"What’s what about?"

"You've been brushing of my compliments all night. Actually you’ve been doing it for a while now. Are you okay?”

She shrugged “I’m fine really. I’m just thinking about Ace right now. He did the cutest little thing the other day, he sneezed so hard that he woke himself up from his nap. And today when he was taking his nap and I was talking to Sarah, he was snoring the same way you do.”

“Are you getting ready to start writing again?” Chris smiled “That’s great.”

“I didn’t agree to anything yet, she just wants to know where my head is.”

He nodded “And?”

“I told her the truth, I’ve been busy with Ace and I haven’t thought about writing at all.” she sighed “And I think I’m blocked, both mentally and physically.”

“Babe your breasts are not broken.”

“Thanks, but that not what I meant.” Alex whispered 

Chris raise and eyebrow “Then what do you mean?”

“What happened the other night when you stormed off? Was it me? Did I say something?”

“No, no it wasn’t you.” he shook his head “I’d gotten so use to you saying no, I jumped to conclusions.”

“Well I kind of gave you room to jump.” Alex huffed “I haven’t been feeling like myself lately, I look in the mirror and I don’t recognize myself. I looked in the mirror before we left and I still didn’t recognize myself without Ace napping on me. And physically-”

“What?”

“I know you’re trying but, you can’t tell me that I don’t look different since I had Ace.”

Chris chuckled and moved his seat next to Alex’s.

“What are you doing?”

“About to whisper everything I’ve wanted to do to you for the past few weeks.” Chris’s eyes darted down to low cut neckline on her dress “Al-”

***

Alex fumbled with the keys in her hand, unsure if it was because ti was dark or because of Chris nibbling on her ear. He slipped his hand between the slit on the dress.

"Can I get the door opened first? You wouldn't want the neighbors to see would you?"

"I don't know we've never had an audience before." Chris kissed along Alex's exposed skin, his hand squeezed her thigh. "Could be fun."

Alex gasped "That mouth of yours is gonna get you into trouble."

Chris's fingers skimmed along the lace of Alex's panties "Hello Trouble."

Alex pushed the door open, she nearly fell forward until Chris caught her by the waist. They manage to stumble their way into the kitchen. Chris sat Alex on counter, slipping his hands underneath her dress and hooking his fingers on her panties.

"I see date night went well." Chris's mother announced when she entered the kitchen

"Oh shit- hey Mom." Chris cleared his throat and awkwardly stood between Alex's legs, his hands still on her ass and his pants getting just a bit too tight in the groin area

"Thanks for watching Alexander for us on short notice." Alex straightened her dress out, pushing Chris hands back

"Any time, he was such a sweetheart." Lisa assured "I just put him down, so be quiet, because if you wake my grandchild I'll be furious."

"Yes ma'am." Alex half laughed still embarrassed from being caught

"I'll let myself out. Goodnight."

"Goodnight." Both Alex and Chris waited to hear the front door close before breaking out into fits of laughter

"I can't believe we forgot she was in here." Alex covered her face with her hands

"Me either." Chris moved Alex's hands from her face, then leaned in, pressing his lips to her neck "You wanna keep going?"

"Yeah." Alex pulled the at knot keeping her dress closed, the top half slipped off her shoulders and down to her waist. “Now where were we?”

Alex pushed her hips forward, she could feel Chris's raging erection on her thigh. Chris kissed and massaged Alex's breasts, he enjoyed the small whimpers that left her mouth with each flick of his tongue.

"Chris..." Alex pulled at his hair

“Ah!” Chris pulled away from her, covering his eye

“What happened?”

“You- squirted me in the eye.” he laughed

“I what?” Alex felt something wet trailing down her chest “Oh I’m leaking.” she gasped “Oh, I’m leaking!”

Chris wiped the excess breastmilk from his cheek “And you have surprisingly good aim.”

"I’m sorry babe, I didn’t mean to." Alex hopped off the counter giving Chris another kiss before rushing out of the kitchen "Don't move I'll be right back."

“Where are you going?”

“I gotta pump.”

Chris groaned “Don’t we all.”

[snowbatsims]

Post ##

Since I finished the whole Strangerville thing, I can go back to posting random shenanigans! Basically, let’s just play catch-up for a bit here. 

I didn’t actually post these ones on the thread, this was just a draft that got too long. 

First up is the Island Living stuff, so I sent them to Sulani for a quick overnight vacation. Sulani in the daytime isn't exactly the best place for vampires to hang out at all, so they went home pretty soon after.

Back at home, the house has gotten a little... haunted?

EINARR: Ah, hello. Old friend.

EINARR: I am sorry to have forgotten your name, but I'm happy to see you again. EINARR: Wait... Marion? Marion Storm! That was it.

EINARR: How's the rest of the crew? EINARR: Ah. Not so talkative today, huh? That is fine.

Kvikindi has started taking up guitar.

She's also taking her time figuring out this whole vampire thing.

KVIKINDI: BAT WAS RIGHT. KVIKINDI: Blood is absolutely delicious.

It's spring, and Morten’s birthday rolled around!

(It's set as a holiday, so immortals can still celebrate it every year without actually aging. Definitely feel free to do this too.)

Siini came visiting for a bit. MORT: What, you don't believe me? SIINI: What would weird alien plants be doing on this flimsy little planet? MORT: Dude, you're an alien too. SIINI: I didn't really ask to crashland here, though! Dazzo's spaceship was a piece of garbage. MORT: Okay, sure. But maybe those alien plants didn't plan on hitting this planet either? MORT: Like, look, that huge Mother plant was in the bottom of a lab, located in the middle of a huge crater. It clearly arrived with an asteroid or something. SIINI: ...Good point.

At this point they're just all hanging out in Morten's room.

RUNE: Oh, you're asking what happened to my new boyfriend? You want to know?? RUNE: He doesn't trust me because I got touched by the spores once! That's it! One time!  MORT: Paranoia, then?

RUNE: Yes. RUNE: But I don't think we've actually broken up yet. MORT: Oh, good. RUNE: Yeah, maybe there’s still hope. 

The birthday present from Einarr was a little fishing trip to the local docks.

MORTEN: This one is so pretty!! EINARR: Cute catch. 

EINARR: Oh, there's a lot of blood to get out of this one. MORTEN: Hell yea!!

MORTEN: O-oh.

EINARR: ...they'll be fine.

MORTEN: What in the absolute heck just happened. EINARR: Alien abduction.

MORTEN: I mean, obviously- EINARR: Do you feel any weird at all? MORTEN: No, not really. EINARR: Well, great!  MORTEN: But wait... I do recall some kind of.. map? EINARR: Map??? MORTEN: Yeah, on the screen? It looked like Oasis Springs. EINARR: Sounds like they were headed that way for something and maybe accidentally picked you up on the way. EINARR: Maybe we should too. MORTEN: What? EINARR: Head to Oasis Springs! Come on, the night is still young! EINARR: We might find something cool! MORTEN: Uh--

MORTEN: Dude, this cave entrance actually glows. That's awesome. EINARR: Oh!!

EINARR: I can break this open. Just give me a minute...

EINARR: So, who goes in first? MORTEN: ...you. EINARR: Alright!

While waiting, Morten builds a sandcastle.

MORTEN: (I wonder if he found anything cool...)

He did.

He found the Forgotten Grotto. And it is absolutely gorgeous.

MORT: Dude... EINARR: I know. Was this worth it? Oh, absolutely. MORT: Yeah.

They both spent a bit of time down there, and built this little shack out of nearby materials before leaving.

Sometimes, I find Morten sitting down here to play with his toy.

My child.. 

Einarr took a night-shift at a fishing job, by the way! I like the work outfit.

Later, a trip to Granite Falls happened.

Practicing vampire powers...

Failing more. 

KVIKINDI: How do you guys DO THIS???

I found him like this. Laying down in the grass. Watching the stars. What a mood.

Exploring the woods!

Finding the hermit. 

Greeting the hermit! MORTEN: Hi!! Morten here, sorry, I'm just kind of passing through. HERMIT: Hello! You're another one of those campers that got lost in the wood, I presume? MORTEN: Yes! MORTEN: So uh, the sun is going up, can I go indoors? Please? HERMIT: I'm a little confused as to why you would need that, but sure. MORTEN: Y.. yeah, you don't want to get into that. Don't worry about it.

MORT: This is really cozy. Goals.

MORT: Blood. MORT: Wh--- NO!! That's the man's pet! What-- what am I even thinking... MORT: I must be hungry again :(

MORT: Might as well clean the guy's dishes while I'm here... MORT: And then leave as soon as the sun is gone. 

Later, they celebrated 17. Mai, a custom holiday of mine set in springtime, which is supposed to resemble the national day of Norway. It's kind of a formal party for the entire country. (I found CC of the national costumes here, so OF COURSE I had to do something about it, right??)

Bat doesn't involve himself since he is not from here and really doesn't care, while Einarr is a couple centuries older than the country itself and also isn't very bothered about it.

They also invited some of Rune's dead relatives. His brother and favorite cousin, in fact.

They had a good time. 

Chilling near the lantern.

Just gonna include these pictures too, in loving memory of the time when we had the ability to at least wade in certain bodies of water.

It was better than nothing, and I want it back. 

[softmintmochi]

Hi, I was thinking about requesting a Taehyung scenario? You taehyung’s girlfriend is a worlwide supermodel that is gonna walk on Victoria secret fashion show, and everyone is jealous beacuse you looks really sexy/hot, and how will tae react that you is gonna do that?

A/N: Hello! Sorry this took so long, just a lot of stuff going on in my life. Anyways, here you go! Enjoy!

The day was finally here. You sat in the chair as the hairdresser did your hair. After your hair was done it was time for makeup, and you were getting more nervous by the second. Two years ago you were discovered by a modeling agent, and since then you've taken the world by storm, getting a bunch of high end gigs, walking through tons of fashion shows, and this was the one you were most excited for. Tonight you were walking in the Victoria's Secret fashion show, and almost the entire world was going to see you walk down that runway. However, the only eyes you cared about belonged to your boyfriend, Taehyung.

Taehyung was a famous idol from the kpop group BTS. You had met him at a Gucci fashion show and you immediately hit it off, other than the language barrier, but that went away once he started learning your language more. You had been together for about a year now and you couldn't be more in love. He was funny, sweet, gorgeous, and had a huge heart. You couldn't ask for a better boyfriend. He treated you like a queen. You both supported each other's careers wholeheartedly, and even though you had to spend time apart a lot he still made up for it whenever you were together. Tonight, though, he was here, in the crowd, as excited as everyone to see you walk.

"Five minutes!" Someone shouts, and you take a deep breath as the stylist adjusts your bra. You don't walk until the end, being a special guest, but your outfit was so intricate that they were already fixing you up. No matter how nervous you were, you couldn't wait to walk down that runway.

Taehyung's POV

Model after model walked down the runway, everyone oohing and ahing around me, but I only watched, waiting patiently for Y/N. I couldn't wait to see what they had her in. She was always gorgeous in anything she wore.

After a long time of waiting, I finally saw her, and my heart skipped a beat. Dressed in a light pink, lacey set, large white wings on her back, and white heels, she took my breath away. "Wow, is that Y/F/N? She looks stunning." One woman gasps. "I wish I had a body like hers." Another one grumbles. I smirk as I watch Y/N walk, all of the compliments I hear from everyone warms my heart. Y/N deserves all the love in the world. I hear a nasty tone in some of the comments, like when one woman said "There's no way she looks that great naturally." I know that Y/N has never done anything to ruin her perfect body, so they don't bother me. People get jealous all the time.

As she walks, she still looks adorable, the bounce in her step the reason she differs from all the other models. Everyone else had a stoic expression, only looking forward, which was typical for a model. But Y/N, she didn't act like other models. Each time she walked she smiled and practically skipped down the runway, beaming with excitement and happiness. No one ever complained either. She had become the world's sweetheart, and most importantly, my baby girl.

As she walked closer I could see her eyes scanning the crowd, and when she finally saw me she smiled and blew a kiss. I heard mumbling around me and winked back, knowing it would turn her cheeks as pink as her outfit. "She doesn't deserve this. She doesn't even take it seriously. I could do way better." I hear behind me. It makes my blood boil, but I keep my cool, focusing on my angel as she disappeared backstage.

The rest of the show goes smoothly, and everyone clears out to go to after parties and things like that, but not me. I stand outside the back entrance, waiting for Y/N so that we can go back to the hotel. As I wait I scroll through my phone, looking at stuff about the show. I see pictures and videos of app the models, but when I finally see a post about Y/N my heart explodes. She looks incredible, the perfect mix of adorable and sexy. As I look at the pictures I see again how well the lingerie fit her, sitting over her lovely curves nicely, the baby pink looking amazing with her skin tone, the way the bra was slightly see through. I lick my lips, thinking about how she'd look under my while wearing that, but when I look in the comments, it seems like other people have the same idea as me.

"Y/N is so fine"

"The guy who gets to fuck any of these models, especially Y/N, damn wish it was me"

"These girls must get so much dick feel sorry for their boyfriends"

"That would all look better on my bedroom floor, Y/N give me a call?"

My blood boils seeing these. How could people be so shameless? It disgusts me that people think it's ok to talk about a taken woman like that. It pisses me off especially since it's about Y/N. She's mine, and no one else can talk about her like that.

You waved to some of the other models as you adjusted your bag on your shoulder, making your way to the back door. As you push the door open, Taehyung moves quickly, tucking his phone into his pocket. "Princess!" He smiles, holding his arms out toward you. You smile, jogging into his embrace. "You did so well. You looked amazing up there." He told you, making you blush. "I just hope I looked as good as I felt." You smile. "Well then you must've felt incredible." He says, rubbing your arm as he pulls away. "Come on, let's go to the hotel." He smiles, taking your hand.

*At the hotel*

"Oh yeah, Gigi is really sweet, I hung out with her a few times." You say to your phone. You decided to do an Instagram live to talk to your fans and answer any questions they have, as you did frequently. Taehyung sat in the background at the vanity, doing his nightly skincare routine, listening to your soft voice. "You think I'm prettier than you? Sweetie, please no, don't say that. You're so pretty. I don't think anyone is really prettier than anyone else, everyone is beautiful. Please don't think so little of yourself, you're absolutely gorgeous." You say. You were a big fan of the body positivity and Taehyung loved how sweet you were to your fans, and knew that you were completely genuine when you said that.

You squint, reading the next comment, a bit shocked. "Leave that pretty boy and come chill with a real man." You read out loud, catching Taehyung's attention. "Guys, please don't say things like that, it's not polite." You say, trying to brush it off, but Taehyung angrily rubs his lotion in before getting up and sitting down next to you. "There's no way she's going to do that, so don't even think about it." Taehyung says while taking his head band off. He turns, grabbing your face and kissing you so hand it knocks you back onto the bed, flat on your back. He pulls away, looking at the camera. "She's mine. Deal with it." He says before grabbing the phone and ending the live. "Hey! I wasn't done!" You shout, grabbing at the phone, but he tosses it to the side. "Yes you are. I think it's time to congratulate you on your amazing show tonight, what do you think? Also, I think it's time for a reminder who you belong to." He smirks, running his hand over your side. Well, looks like you're in for a long night.

[rational-mastermind]

I’ve been meaning to make a review about Breath of the Wild for a while, but at least wanted to wait until after I finished the shrines.

SCREW. THAT.

I’m gonna just say it up front; it’s not one of my favorite Zelda games. I mean, yeah, I have a personal history with Majora’s Mask, but that’s not the only thing. I’ll start at the beginning, under the cut. Cause this is gonna be long-winded.

I’m not gonna make a lot of complaints about how it sucks in comparison to Ocarina of Time or make too many mentions about the timeline issue, cause we all know that it was bullshit since the moment they said anything. But there are just...so many things that bother me.

I will say that Breath of the Wild has a lot of great thing going for it and it’s easy to be impressed when you first sit down to play it. The graphics are gorgeous and the voice acting was done very well. There are so many wonderful little bits of lore, call-backs, and even general mechanics of the game that just made everything amazing. (I was so fucking excited to jump without running off a ledge.)

However...there was a lot of the story itself that bothered me. Not to mention a few other things. One of which, was the music. Or....serious lack thereof.

One of the things I loved the most about Zelda, was the music in nearly every game. Background music is very essential in making up the environment of any level. From your typical fire temple, to underwater, to creepy ghost town. And for Zelda, it wasn’t even just that, but that song itself had a large to-do with a lot of the lore and story. Song tells others you have something to do with the Royal Family. It changes the universe around you. It soothes the dead. Not just in Ocarina of Time either. So it was really weird to...not have any of that in Breath of the Wild.

Yeah, we have some soundtrack but..it felt so..threadbare. When you go into a shrine/town/battle, I barely register the music. Walking through the open field...nothing. When I’m galloping on the Lord of the Mountain, the fast-paced piano feels more high-tech than race-horse and makes me feel uneasy about a guardian lurking nearby. Then when you DO face a guardian, or any mini-boss of a monster, it gets so fucking intense, so damn fast, I was worried about challenging a Hinox for the longest damn time. (Geez, I felt stupid for that after I realized how easy they were to beat.) Everything just felt...off. And it was weird that you didn’t have to repeat any song 10 fucking times. I mean, yeah, I was really sick of Elegy of Emptiness after going through the Stone Tower in Majora’s Mask, but I’ll listen to the 50th remix of Song of Storms. It was like...one of the few things that kept the whole timeline thing connected. It was that there was always a harp, there was always a song, there was just...something that connected us to the higher powers. And it’s kinda cool for a game to give something like music, so much power.

But I’ll stop bitching about that and get to my real problem. The story.

Now the basic crux of it, I’m fine with. They attempted to beat Ganon, failed, and had to pay the price 100 years later. Cool. That’s interesting. A nice premise. But gosh DAMN if the details don’t fucking trip me up! Let’s run through this chronologically.

Okay so Zelda, being the nerdy princess that she is in this life, discovers that yeah, they reincarnate every several hundred years and beat an evil known as Ganon. There’s supposed to be her, the physical embodiment of the goddess Hylia, and Link, a young knight sworn to protect her. Hooray, self-awareness.

Apparently, she also discovers that, what was it? 1,000 years ago, the Sheikah... the shadow people who are skilled ninjas that protect the family...built 120 shrines, robots, and massive weapons of terrible destruction...just to help beat this one guy that two kids and a magic sword handles on a regular basis. Actually no, I shouldn’t just say it’s two kids and a magic sword.

It’s a knight with a magic sword, three pendants, six sages, and the final seventh sage (aka the fucking goddess-child) that defeat the Evil.

It’s already upsetting enough that the Sheikah are stupidly advanced in technology (cause ancient magic tech from the gods is always the way to go...), and that the 1,000 year span makes the whole timeline thing confusing as FUCK (even if it is in the broken world timeline), but that they just...do that. They just fucking dissed the fucking premise for like, so many of the games. You find three pendants/orbs/stones/things, the master sword, six sages, and then help Zelda. Thanks for reducing everything else to nothing. Thanks for making 6 sages fucking nobodies. And yeah, I’m gonna harp on that.

One of the things that was nice about Ocarina of Time is that the 6 Sages became one from each race. In Link to the Past, it was the descendants of 6 powerful wizards. In Wind Waker, it was at least the last 2 other species left alive after the whole flooding incident (cause those three gorons are gonna fucking die and I wanna cry thinking about it). It just...it made sense.

So why. The fuck. ARE WE RELYING ON ONLY THESE FOUR????

We still have the Sheikah and the Koroks. What, just cause Impa’s old now? Cause the Korok’s are tiny as fuck? That never stopped anything before. We could’ve had Purah, or Paya take up the mantle. If size was an issue, how about Hetsu? Koroks can choose their shapes and try to put on brave faces. Saria was willing to help with the fight. Makar was willing to go through a whole temple to help. I don’t see what makes this generation a bunch of pussies! What the great and all-knowing fucking Sheikah just..FORGOT about the other sages???

Like, don’t get me wrong. Again, there’s a lot of good. I wouldn’t say gorons would be my favorite race but dammit I love Daruk and I love his grandson. They’re just sweet and adorable as fuck. (and I have a weakness for soft-hearted big-guys. ^//^) I’m glad they fixed the Rito’s appearance (though I hate Rivali’s fucking attitude). I liked their stories and their powers. But you could’ve at least rounded it out to be EVERYBODY. And further more, as great as it was to see their spirits put to rest, it doesn’t make a lot of sense for ghosts to pilot giant robots. It could’ve made a bit more sense for maybe the later generations to take up the mantle and help out. (Since that’s what a lot of them seem to imply.) It would’ve been kinda cool to go through the Divine Beasts with the Next Gen and let them help us fight the blights and let them take control.

Also on a fashion note: WHY THE FUCK IS EVERYTHING BLUE?? Thanks for dissing Farore. I guess she wasn’t a very important Goddess! Certainly not the one that LINK correlates to. Yeah, I get it, he’s supposed to get his signature outfit later, but I’m gonna get back to that problem in a bit. You could’ve at least kept the design and made it fucking GREEN.

Cause yeah, I get it, it was supposed to signify their unity and shit and that’s great and all, but BLUE had a purpose and that was WISDOM. Link isn’t WISDOM. He’s COURAGE. That was the whole rite of passage thing in Wind Waker!

Also, Zelda. Zelda, babe. Hon.

Zelda... What the FUCK ARE YOU WEARING???

Like, DAMN girl’s got hips for DAYS but do we really need the thicc shown in fucking leggings?? I mean, okay, her normal princess outfit is fine. Would’ve liked it to be a liiiiitle more traditional, but whatever. You look the part. And her normal adventure outfit is...okay?? It doesn’t look very practical nor comfortable for travels so it seems a little weird?? It just looks really uncomfortably tight and really draws attention to the thighs. But see, it’s the fucking Goddess getup that I have the most problems with.

Like, I’m just gonna start with saying that she looks fucking pregnant.

The empire waist wasn’t a good choice, especially cause she’s already just so damn thicc. And then you mix it with a sleeveless top and you have these fucking layers that just exaggerate the hips in the most unflattering way possible. I’m not saying she needs to look sexy but for a goddess, she could’ve looked more elegant? I’m sure with some kinda alterations, this would’ve looked great, or maybe on a different body, but like! I don’t like the dress for Skyward Sword either but at least she looks more goddess-like than this! (and that was a VERY boring dress...) She looks like Ariel putting on that sail cloth when she turned human. I mean, she could’ve had like, three-quarter sleeves with a v-neck or sweetheart neckline and then let the skirt flare out with the Hylian buckle around the waist. But this looks.. it just looks uncomfortable. I wouldn’t wanna practice goddess magic in this either.

So aside from forgetting about important races and a lack in fashion design, then you move on with the story. So since Zelda’s such a nerd and cause she lost her mother when she was younger, I guess that means I should feel sorry for her long-ass struggle with her goddess powers but um... I’m not. I don’t feel sorry for this woman. I just feel annoyed. I feel very annoyed every time I run all over Hyrule, trying to find these fucking memories, only to get five minutes of her bitching at US for her own failure.

Link is a soldier. And on top of that, he’s burdened with the heavy duty of carrying the Master Sword. HE is the one who has to fight Ganon. And instead he just runs around escorting Princess Twilight Sparkle while she geeks out over learning and frogs and then insults him, yells at him, and pushes him away from doing HIS FUCKING JOB. Unlike her, LINK IS DOING HIS JOB. I don’t blame him for shutting the hell up while she bitches and cries. I’m gonna side with Zelda’s father on this one, she found out about the prophecy, but SHE NEEDS TO DO HER JOB. Not for the sake of reputation (which seemed unusually dickish for him to say....) but because that’s her damn job. Everyone else knew what it meant to be a soldier. They knew when to dig in their heels and get ready to fight. WHY. DIDN’T. SHE?? Or at least why didn’t we see her trying like she kept talking about?? Yeah we saw her pray to ONE FUCKING FOUNTAIN. And it wasn’t even supposed to be her damn goddess! The whole mess wouldn’t have happened if she had just SHUT THE HELL UP and thought about someone else besides her own problems.

Also, if you were gonna show the tender moment where she finally does unleash her powers, maybe you SHOULDN’T make that a “secret ending” after you run around and try to guess where the rest of the memories were based on poor-quality pictures. And yeah, Zelda. you took a lot of shoddy pictures with that damn tablet. HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DIFFERENTIATE ONE FOREST FROM A THOUSAND OTHERS??

Maybe I would’ve felt more sorry if I didn’t have to climb through a fucking castle full of guardians, avoid tripping the cut scene, and THEN read in a long-ass diary about her mother dying, but you know, that just didn’t happen. I don’t feel sorry for her. I don’t feel excited for her to unleash her powers. Actually, I’m rather sad that despite the games being called “Legend of Zelda”, I REALLY didn’t wanna focus on THIS incarnation of her. The idea of it would’ve been fucking fantastic, but did Nintendo really have to make her such a whiny bitch?

Okay okay okay. Now before you send me hate mail, I will point out some things I like about her. She had a nice voice. She was cute (in a good outfit). And she wasn’t a total bitch. It was a good idea for Nintendo to try to focus on the titular character for once. I just don’t see this excusing all the other problems though.

Moving on, I mentioned earlier how I hated Rivali. That was the understatement. I am so glad he fucking died at the hands of one of the easiest damn bosses. I know some people may have liked him but I can’t stand ego. It’s an immediate turn-off and the sad part is that he had a sexy design and voice. He could’ve been redeemable if he showed some kinda humility after being dead for 100 years, but no. They just...didn’t give him that. Not willingly at least. Again, this is where I would’ve LOVED the next generation to take up the mantle instead, but... Yeah. No. We didn’t get that. (And I swear he was jealous that Link had Mipha and Zelda’s affections. Especially Zelda’s.)

Urbosa was good, but I felt like we didn’t get to know her personality too much? And the same goes for her grandchild. Also even though the Gerudo are known for hating men, they HAVE accepted men into their clans before. What happens if these women marry?? They have to leave town? Link was genuinely accepted as one of the Gerudo in OoT and was free to walk around! And that was just for debunking their strongest warriors. BotW!Link saved the whole fucking town, saved one from dehydration and another’s husband, and is a renowned champion! You think that would give him a get-out-of-jail free card!

I already talked about how I liked Daruk cause he’s definitely a strong leader and a gentle-soul. I do like the Goron City but it feels a little weird how....corporate they became. I mean, it makes sense. They can make a good profit from the gems they harvest but it’s still a little weird considering how tribal and relaxed the gorons were before. Still, they were a cute bunch and I really liked going to Goron City again.

And Mipha was sweet and I really loved her one-sided relationship with Link. I felt really sad thinking about Sidon growing up without his sister and I see why everyone shipped him with Link. Sidon himself was pretty good but....personal preference dictates that a super excited, extroverted, supportive type...doesn’t suite me. Don’t get me wrong. He’s very sweet and cute and I can see why a lot of fangirls were into him. It’s just the over-exuberant extrovertedness that gets to me. Also I was really surprised that this game made the ZORAS racist, out of all of them. I mean like, fucking damn... I know your princess died but fuck! Finally, last note, I...really didn’t care for their designs. I know the Zoras have been through a hell of a lot of redesigns over the years and they’ve certainly improved, but I think Ocarina of Time’s era was just enough of Fish and Human to make it a good hybrid? Rather than making...a shark..humanoid...with another shark...on his head?? And somehow related to a whale??? With a...manta ray...for an advisor.. I mean, I get it, he was suppose to look old, but it’s literally just a stingray on his head.

I liked Hetsu too, though collecting korok seeds is kinda annoying. I hate it when games make you have to gather more for just one thing, it’s just..not a fun mechanic to have? And the koroks themselves are still cute, though it’s taken me a while to accept that they replaced my beloved Kokiri and Dekus. (I only had OoT/MM growing up, so when I finally played Wind Waker as an adult, yeah I was pretty upset about the change in the species.) I still wish they had a bigger role to play in all of this.

Lastly, Ganon had a pretty great design, though it was a little weird he was like...semi-solid for this game. Like.. What? What was with all the...”malice”? (Which is an actual word, guys. You could’ve called it something besides that...) I really liked how he merged himself with the technology and it was interesting that he was controlling the guardians, but honestly when she said “Given up incarnation” I was a little disappointed he still went by Ganon cause you know... His original form wasn’t called Ganon. It was called Demise. Also for having a giant smoke-pig with a huge gaping mouth hovering around the castle, it would’ve been a little more interesting for him to...still retain that when you walked in? But design aside, fighting Ganon wasn’t actually all that hard after you freed the Divine Beasts and it’s...a little disappointing. I mean, I’m running around, fighting lynels and dragons and guardians and really, I had more trouble with THOSE than I did with HIM. And that’s REALLY disappointing when Ganon is the long-standing Ultimate Bad Guy (tm) and I was REALLY looking forward to feeling more accomplished beating him than I did when I beat a silver-maned lynel.

Finally some last complaints:

I wish the Sheikahs didn’t have their hands in everything. Who said that THEY should determine who Goddess Hylia’s chosen hero should be? Why were THEY the advanced race when you have one that harvests iron on a regular basis? And I hate that they don’t have any actual temples cause one of the things I liked about the whole thing is that there was a running religion and the Sages and Temples actually had some significance? Even though it’s pointless, I like history and archeological search in a game, even if I’m the only one doing it for my own amusement, cause it just helps me to connect more to the world that I’m playing in but I don’t get that when I walk into a weird-ass abyssal room with small puzzles or fights.

Also there are seriously WAY too many fucking shrines. None of them make any sort of callback to old games. The spirit orb system is confusing cause if that’s a callback to Skyward Sword, then at least say it was by Link’s own doing and not these dead monks that have been preserved in suspended animation for 100 years. Why didn’t Link do the shrines to start with 100 years ago? Also I HATE that you have to collect 4 spirit orbs for hearts or stamina. I mean, we all know stamina sucks, but this just making it REALLY obvious? And seriously it was so fucking easy to die early on into the game, especially if you ran out of stamina or were still fumbling with the new controls.

Why didn’t he ask more questions in this game? If you have voice acting, why didn’t you actually give Link any dialogue? I think that would’ve made a stronger impact for Zelda to get her powers or something.

Seriously the three dragons bug the shit out of me. I know they were supposed to represent the goddesses and it was really cool to first come across them and shit but 1) it’s really hard to keep up with any of them. 2) they don’t really add anything to the plot. 3) was Zelda supposed to pray to a dragon?? 4) Did the dragons from Skyward Sword just like...de-evolve? (devolve?) Cause they spoke and wore clothes??? Why didn’t these??? 5) (and this goes to Skyward Sword too) why is the one who represents the fucking forests, you know, FARORE, have lightning powers? I think Pokemon already took the cake with mythical creatures representing Fire, Ice, and Lightning. This would’ve been better with Fire, Water, and Grass, y’know?

I fucking cringe looking at the map cause it feels like so much it just out of place... Like, how do you move a whole Forest from the south to the north? Why is the volcano moved like, way far to the back? The WHOLE Lake Hylia was moved like, so far from the original spot. Really the only things that stayed in place was Hyrule Castle and Gerudo Desert.

Also don’t give us giant skeletons and then NOT ACTUALLY EXPLAIN WHAT THEY REALLY ARE. Leviathan is not just a blanket term for Giant-Ass-Monster. Was that the Dodongo King at the volcano? The Sky Dragon from Skyward Sword?? What the fuck froze to death? Why was that and the one in the desert more similar the one at the fucking volcano??

Seriously your mini bosses shouldn’t be harder than the Ultimate Bad Guy. The blights were harder and I especially had trouble with the lynels and guardians. And seriously WHY was there a fucking guardian on the fucking Plateau?? I was fucking terrified of these killer robots and it’s seriously unfair that I barely ever get any proper armor or shields to deal with them! Also seriously, why did there have to be a whole graveyard of them right underneath a stupidly challenging maze??

Also I don’t mind teleporting everywhere in a game, but when there’s literally secrets over every last inch of this game (from shrines to korok seeds to weapons, food, and needed pictures) it gets REALLY boring to travel on foot. Especially when climbing mountains in freezing conditions. I mean, I love that it’s so open-world and I love that we get to go exploring whatever we want, but there are a few problems with that. The other being that it’s hard to follow the plot of a game when you hardly have any reason to go do it or to follow any intended order. I did Rivali last, not because I wanted to, but because I didn’t bother to explore that side of the map until it was all that was left. I WISHED SOMEONE SAID SOMETHING EARLIER IN THE GAME CAUSE THE GALE WOULD’VE HELPED TREMENDOUSLY.

Finally I swear someone on the staff has a giant fetish, and not that there’s a problem with that? But can we have ONE game where the Great Fairies aren’t horrifying to look at?? Like, if some people like it, fine, I guess? But gosh damn these bitches just look so GAUDY. There’s too much glittering, there’s too much...just too much everything. Also you should be able to up all your armor, not just a few things? It would’ve been awesome to walk around as Shadow Link and have it upped to be at least decently protective.

Okay.. I think I’m done complaining. Now I’ll stop my own bitching and actually give the game its proper praise.

The game does have some amazingly gorgeous graphics and it blows me away every fucking time. When it does want to intimidate you, it does so very well. And so many things were designed so well. Despite earlier complaints, I love how the dragons were designed to vary from one to another. I love how all the baddies were designed. I love the large array of wardrobe that you get for Link and it’s so much fun to change his looks and dye them different colors. (though, again, you should be able to dye the Champions tunic to GREEN.)

Some of the characters were fun and had some great personalities. I liked the bits of lore this game generated. I also loved whatever small callbacks it did make (like mentioning Naboru, and Makar’s island). I liked that you could catch and ride so many things and it’s fun that there’s a motorcycle (I haven’t unlocked that yet, but I’m sure it’ll be fun ^^). It was fun exploring different worlds within this game and just really see some of these beloved races expand and grow and see how the world is affected by such an apocalypse.

I like hunting for your food and surviving that way rather than random hearts coming out of the grass. The whole sense of survival is pretty awesome and thrilling. It’s fun to discover things in this world and it’s fun to just go around, explore, and make up your own adventure. (I just wish there was a bit  more guiding for the story...)

Some of the reactions in this game are so much fun. Like walking up to people naked, or riding the Lord of the Mountain to any stable. Actually that entire story about the Lord of the Mountain is really sweet and heartwarming. But the actually dialogue that’s written into this game is really fun and pretty spot-on.

I really liked the side mission of buying your own(old?) house and creating an entire village from the ground up. It was such a sweet side-story to the whole thing and was a lot of fun to to. The other side mission of helping the korok through the woods was super cute. ^^ It was little moments like these that really did make me enjoy the game. And I did like being able to stumble into Zelda’s room or study and read about her life in the past, seeing her figure out Link and such.

And the challenges of conquering the Divine Beast was actually fun, but again, would’ve liked a bit more direction. Actually getting through this game was kinda fun, but it was easy for the magic to get sapped out of everything with stupid shit.

Overall, I wouldn’t say this was the worst Zelda game. Heaven know Skyward Sword did much worse. It could’ve been better though and that’s what really makes me sad. I was really looking forward to playing something new and amazing, especially having just finished Wind Waker for the first time before it and was honestly, disappointed after the magic of the new features wore off. It wasn’t the best. But it wasn’t the worst. It just really needed some work on in a few areas. Over all I would rate it 7/10.

[fandomsfeelsandfanfics]

Plans/// Sirius Black x Reader

REQUEST(S): Hey! Love your fanfic so much! Could you write an imagine where it is a Sirius black x reader and it shows snippets of there lives from each year of hogwarts until the year he gets sent to Azkaban? The reader comes from a terrible pureblood family (like Sirius), best friends with Sirius straight away, as well as the others, griffindor quidditch team member, bond between Sirius/reader is super close and they open up to each other, could ya also talk about Sirius and readed running away from home?

WORD COUNT: 2,275

WARNING(S): nothing really, it’s a little sad and a few cuss words

A/N: I am so sorry I’m just now doing this! This is the first time in a month I’ve actually had more than a second of free time. I’m trying to start writing more but school has been wild lately so. Anyways, onto the fic. Enjoy!

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   You stood inside the large sitting room of 12 Grimmauld Place. Your mom’s hands were clasped firmly on your shoulders and it seemed Sirius’ mom was doing the same to him. His face was blank and he was wearing an outfit that looked just as fancy as yours. 

   Your first impression of him was that he didn’t look like he belonged. Not in a bad way, he just looked much different from most of the kids you had been around. His white shirt didn’t look right on him and his hair despite being short still flopped onto his forehead. His eyes stood out against his pale skin. 

   “Go ahead Sirius.” She shoved him forward slightly. He stumbled closer to you. He stood there for a moment just staring and then out of nowhere he thrusts his hand out. 

   “Hi.” He gave you a crooked smile. You took his hand in yours and shook it. 

   “Hello.”

   From that day on you spent most afternoons with Sirius. Your parents seemed to think that one day you’d grow up and get married. So forcing you two to spend a bunch of time together was only a natural part of the process. 

   Your relationship was odd. There were certainly worse people to spend time with and when it came down to it you actually kinda liked him. However, when the relationship was forced upon you and you were spending way too much time together you ended up kind of hating each other. 

   The older you got hanging out felt like a chore. You stared at him as he closed the bedroom door behind you. He then sat down next to you looked upset. 

   “Did you know our parents think we’re going to get married someday?” 

   You were only ten at the time but it had been mentioned multiple times before. You laid back on the bed and groaned. “Unfortunately.” You stared at the ceiling silently. Sirius followed suit. He turned his head to look at you.

   “I don’t think you even like me.” 

   “Well, you don’t like me either.”  

   “That’s what I said but they don’t seem to care...if were happy.” You didn’t respond. “It could be worse though, honestly. I don’t like you but you’re not the worst.” You turned towards him, your eyebrows drawing closer. 

   “Thanks?” 

   “Maybe we’ll find a way to be happy.” Then out of nowhere he moved closer...and then he was kissing you. You immediately pulled away. 

   “Gross.” You wiped your lips. “Why’d you do that?” He was frowning now.

   “I don’t know. I just...I don’t know.” 

   The plan was to stop hanging out with Sirius. When you started Hogwarts you wouldn’t be forced to hang out with him up until you went home for breaks which was just fine with you. That was the plan. 

   Up until the moment you actually got to Hogwarts. You barely knew anyone and of the people you did know you didn’t want to hang out with him. You felt overwhelmed and the only person to turn to was Sirius. He was there for you. You could tell he was just as nervous as you were. 

   So suddenly you were friends with Sirius Black all over again. But it was different this time. This time you actually had a choice and you weren’t forced to  do anything or be anyone you weren’t. You were just yourselves. 

   You both gathered a group of friends and somehow became inseparable. 

   You found yourself with your head in his lap laughing at one of his stories. “I’m not even joking. My father asked me how things were going with us and started to talk about how we were getting older and needed to be careful. Like Merlin’s beard, I could vomit!” 

   You laughed harder. “You still haven’t told them we aren’t dating?” 

   “Oh I’ve told them. I’ve told them multiple times but they just won’t listen. I think my mom’s actually actively planning the wedding. But I gotta say, if I had to be stuck with any girl for the rest of my life it'd be you.” You smiled up at him. 

   “You’re gonna be stuck for me for a long long time, Black. But not as my husband. I think about when we were kids so much and I’m so glad we’re not like that anymore. We’re much better off as friends, friends who are friends by their own choice.” 

   “You’re right.” 

   “Promise me we’ll never date.” You stuck your hand up and extended your pinkie towards him. “Pinkie promise.” His pinkie wrapped around yours. 

   “I promise. Let’s hope you can keep this promise.” He had a smirk plastered on his face. 

   “Whatever, Black.” 

   Plans never go as expected with Sirius Black. Never. He always did something to mess things up. So in fourth year when you promised you’d never date you should’ve known that wouldn’t be happening. 

   Two years later you were sixteen and Sirius had long hair and a gorgeous smile and it was much harder to be “just friends”. Then when he kissed you out of nowhere it became even harder because you kissed back. You told him that, that couldn’t happen again but you both knew what happened to promises. 

   You were looking for him and found him on top of the Astronomy tower. Which is pretty much where he always was. He was smoking and gazing out over the grounds. 

   “Hey.” He didn’t even need to turn around to recognize you. 

   “Hey.” You walked up to him just as he was taking a drag from the cigarette. You grabbed it from him and put it between your lips. He looked confused but didn’t try and stop you. 

   “You smoke now.” You inhaled and instantly began to cough. 

   “No but you look so damn cute when you do it,” you mumbled between coughs. He put his palm against your cheek.

   “Well, your so damn cute when you don’t. You aren’t a girl who smokes.” 

   “With you smoking more and more I might just have to start. Just to put up with you.” He was smiling at you. Everything seemed so still up there. You felt yourself leaning into him and then your lips were on his. He was still smiling as he pulled you further into him by the waist. 

   He leaned out slightly, kissing you on the cheek then on the jaw. “You’re a much better kisser than you used to be.” He chuckled against your neck.

   “I’m glad I’m no longer ‘gross’. But I thought you said no more kissing.” He pulled away and you pouted slightly. 

   “I did...but I don’t get why we can’t just be friends who kiss from time to time.” 

   “We could do that or you could just date me. I think I like my option much better.”

   You both liked Sirius’ option. Things were good. Actually, they were better. You were both happy, all you had to do was keep it from your parents. You knew they’d just ruin everything. 

   You sat at the dining room table across from your mother who didn’t look happy. You didn’t know why but you never did with her. You were just hoping to get out of there as quick as you could. You’d gotten a letter from Sirius right before you’d been called down from dinner and hadn’t had a chance to read it. 

   Lately, you hadn’t really had a chance to talk to him. It seemed he was always busy or whispering about something that he refused to tell you. Anytime you actually got a chance to talk to him he didn't seem completely there. But you knew things would be alright, they always were. 

   “I don’t want you to be around Sirius anymore.” You were instantly confused. She’d never had anything but positive things to say about Sirius. 

   “What do you mean?” 

   “He’s a terrible influence. Very disrespectful. He smokes and you should hear the things he says to his mother.” 

   “Well, mother, I know that sometimes he-” 

   “Did you hear that he threw a fit and stormed out of the house?” Your eyes widened slightly. 

   “He...he what?” 

   “I hope you never turn out like him.” 

   “Mother, can I be excused?” 

   “Well, yes, I suppose.” You quickly got up from the table and stormed to your room.

   You almost immediately sent him a howler, telling him to see you immediately. He was there that night. He snuck in through your window and you were there waiting for him. 

   “You moved out of your parents house?” 

   “Yeah, I-”

    “Sirius! You didn’t tell me or anything like is this something you were planning. Did you not think it was necessary? Did you not think I could’ve been there for you? I want to be there for you but I can’t when you’re always a million miles away. You’re so unreachable how am I supposed to deal with this.” You were trying to be as quiet as possible but that was hard with how angry you were. 

   “Okay, listen, calm down.”

   “I can’t,” you started yelling but then paused. You took a deep breath and lowered your voice. “I can’t just calm down. We’re so different than we were when we were kids but now I feel like we’re becoming our parents. We shouldn’t be keeping things from each other, not being there for each other. Not caring. I would’ve been there for you. You deserve having me there for you.” 

   “I know, I know. I just didn’t want you to worry.” 

   “You’re the one who shouldn’t be worried. You’re probably going through a lot right now and I wish you would’ve told me but it doesn’t matter. What matters right now is you need me and so we can talk about all this shit later. Come here.” 

   He slowly came over to you and you instantly wrapped your arms around his neck. His arms slipped around your waist and he was silent. You two were together right up until the Sun rose.

   When you entered your room you saw your mother standing at your desk. Was first you were confused and then you saw her holding the letter you were working on. 

   “I thought I told you a very long time ago to stay away from Sirius.”

   “Yes, mother, I know you did but-” 

   “There are no ‘buts’, okay? You’ve been lying to me for this long and I can’t believe you.” 

   “Mother, please. The only reason I did it was because-”

   “There is absolutely no reason to have disobeyed me. I gave you a simple instruction and yet you still choose to-”

   “Mother!” She was too shocked to speak. “I need you to listen to me. I’m sorry for yelling but you aren’t listening. I’m not like you, I’ll never be happy with someone I’m just forced to be with. I’m never gonna be able to live like that and if me and Sirius had continued on the way you had us as kids we’ would’ve never worked out but since we were actually allowed room to breath we actually found something real. What we have is real! I love him and I really want you to be supportive but if you aren’t you’re just gonna lose me like Walburga lost him.” 

   The tension in the air was thicker than it had ever been. This was the first time you’d ever stood up to her. You didn’t know what would happen next. She took a step closer to you with the letter still in her hand. 

   “I’m sorry.” She handed you the letter. “I don’t want to lose you and I understand that...maybe, maybe my way isn’t always the right way. Sometimes.” You smiled at her. 

   “Thank you.” She pulled you into a hug which was abnormal for her. You took out a breath. Things were finally changing for the better.

   A year had passed and the changes were far from over. War was on the horizon and everyone was choosing a side. But when you were with Sirius it didn’t seem to matter anymore.

   School had finally ended thrusting you into the real world which meant you had to move in with each other. Sirius carried another box into the bedroom. 

   “Is that it,” you asked as you shoved more shirts into the drawer. 

   “Nope but I’m ready for a break.” He wrapped his arm behind you and pressed his chest into your back. 

   “Sirius,” you groaned. “We need to finish.” 

   “I disagree.” He spun you around and kissed you deeply. 

   “Come on, we can do this later.” 

   “We can and we probably will but now that we’ve got a house together we can kinda do whatever we want.” He placed a kiss on your neck.

   “Calm down,” you giggled. 

   “Sorry, I’m just so excited. Have I ever told you that I want to marry you someday?” 

   “Someday?”

   “Mhmm.” He kissed you again. “Someday soon.” 

   But someday soon never came. He got a ring and you guys had started planning but you had never actually gotten there. A nice winter wedding was just what the both of you wanted. But just over a month short, everything had been stopped. 

   As they pulled a screaming Sirius away you were being held back by an Auror who had his arms tightly wrapped around your middle. You couldn’t move no matter how hard you tried. 

   They were yelling something in your ear but you couldn’t seem to hear. Sirius looked absolutely ragged. He was trying to get over to you but they were pulling him away. Sirius was yelling your name. 

   Someday never came because plans never worked with Sirius Black. Promises never lasted. 

[rhina988]

Jared Leto Imagine 5

Imagine meeting Jared Leto because he mistakes you for his BFF

It’s a gorgeous spring morning.You absolutely adore spring, because it’s the perfect time to fall in love, wear fashionable outfits and enjoy the outdoors. Today you feel like trying out your new clothes you bought a couple of days ago. It seems like it’s the best time to wear a pair of light jeans, a plaid rose and white shirt, a new black biker jacket, and the stylish black fedora. Adding a pair of black boots and sunglasses to it turns the entire ensemble to a fantastic combo. You’re ready for another day at the agency. 

You work as a PR and you’ve just started working at the biggest agency in LA, which practically covers most of the celebrities and Hollywood big shots. You’ve always known your way around people, and you seemed trustworthy. You had amazing organization skills and reading people was always your thing. You almost ended up studying psychology, but public relations were kind of a better deal. 

Today, you were supposed to go to work, and meet with one of your first clients. However, your boss sent you to the coffee shop first, to get 4 coffees for a couple of them in the agency.

As you step out of the coffee place your phone rings. It’s your brother.You stand in front of the coffee shop, and answer your phone.

“Well, well, look who finally remembered he had a big sister. Let me guess, you either need money, or the keys to my place? ”, you say as you pace back and forth on the streets.

“OK, this is really creepy. How do you do that? ”, your brother is shocked by your insight.

“Easy, goof. I’ve known you only, oh I don’t know, my whole life. So, which one is it? And if you say both I might kick your ass.”

“No, actually I just need a bit of cash. But it’s for a good cause.”

“Oh yeah? Which one?”

“You know. Mom’s birthday is coming up so I wanted to buy her something pretty.”

“Oh I get it So, basically this means I should buy mom something and give it to you when I get there. Right?”

“”I knew you’d understand me immediately.”, he says and laughs.

“Fine, I’ll see you on Saturday.”, you say and start looking to see if there’s a cab anywhere.

“You’re the best, Y/N.”, he says and hangs up. You didn’t realize he hang up so you continue to talk and stop pacing.

“Yeah, yeah, you owe me… ”, you don’t get the chance to finish the sentence because suddenly someone hugs you from behind. You hear a male voice saying, 

“Well isn’t that the best friend I’ve ever had in the whole world?”

“I’ve been called that a couple of times.”, you say with eyes wide open. You’re caught off guard and a bit scared. You have no idea who’s the guy that’s hugging you. 

Once he heard your voice he let you go and you turned to him. When you looked at him he was flabbergasted. You took off your sunglasses and met a handsome young man with a slick back brown hair and deep blue eyes. He had a short beard, wore a crisp white buttoned up shirt, light blue jeans, checked slip-on Vans shoes and black sunglasses which he took off the minute you turned to him. 

“Oh my God. I’m so sorry if I scared you. I’ve mistaken you for someone else.”, he said nervously.

“That’s OK. It happens.”, you were trying to be nice but still felt a bit shaken up.

“You looked exactly like my best friend. It’s amazing, but she has the exact same outfit. And the way you were standing, and your figure and posture, It’s incredible. Like you were twins, from behind.”

You both chuckled at this last statement. And the awkward silence was there for a bit.

“Sorry, I’m Jared, by the way…”, as he introduced himself your phone rang and he didn’t get the chance to finish what he wanted to say. It was your boss. You’re late and she needs her caffeine. 

“Yeah, sorry I gotta go my boss is furious. I’m late.”, you spot a cab and hurry towards it, while you slightly wave to Jared before you managed to answer your phone. You looked pretty indifferent towards him which he finds really attractive.

“… And I don’t usually do this to people.”, he said and smiled. 

“What a girl”, Jared thought to himself. “She knew who I was, and she couldn’t care less. Plus she’s really cute, and stylish. I wish I had the chance to ask her out.”

Jared’s phone rings and he answers.

“Hello? Janet? Yes, I’m on my way, don’t worry I didn’t forget about our meeting, I was just a bit held up. I’ll be there in 15 minutes.”

Jared hangs up and heads to the his meeting.

You storm inside the agency, leaving your sunglasses, and taking off your jacket. You run into your boss’s office to give her the coffee and meet your new client.

“Hi, I’m so sorry I’m late. The line was incredibly long, and I had a little run in with…”

“Fine, fine, stop explaining and get ready for the meeting, he’ll be here any minute now”, your boss didn’t let you finish so you just listen to her and go to grab your notepad and prepare for the meet up.

You go to your office, grab a notepad, check your make-up and go back to the boss’s office. As you reach for the door you can hear a male voice talking, and you eavesdrop for a second.

“I need an assistant but a PR as well. I’d like if that could be a one person alone. My current PR can’t handle all the stuff I’ going through, so another assistant/PR would be of great help. ”

The voice sounds familiar, but you can’t really say who that is. You walk in and can’t believe who you see in there. It’s Jared Leto. What are the odds? You ran into him half an hour ago and now he’s obviously going to be your new client. 

“Oh, good you’re here. Y/N meet your new client, Jared Leto.”

“Jared, this is Y/N. She’s going to be the perfect assistant for you.”

“Assistant?”, you ask surprised. “I thought I was supposed to do PR for Mr. Leto.”

“Yes, in fact I need you to be both. If that’s not too much to ask”, Jared says hoping you’d accept.

“No, not at all, but that will prevent me from working with other clients, right?”

“Unfortunately, or luckily yes.”, Jared says and smiles to himself.

“Luckily?”, you ask in shock.

“I’m just kidding. But, you should know that I’m gonna need you to be available 24/7, and always be nearby. As a matter of fact my previous assistant had her own little condo on my property at some point when I was too busy.”

“That could almost count as an all-inclusive service”, you say and chuckle.

Jared chuckles and nods, putting the cutest grin on his face.

Your boss looks at you disapprovingly indicating you should be serious and not joke like that with a client. Little does she know you two had the funniest situation earlier that day.

“Um, Janet If you’d approve, I’d be happy to accept Mr. Leto’s offer ”

“Call me Jared, please.”, he said flirtatiously.

“Absolutely. That’s why I suggested you, I have full confidence in you, and I know Jared would be more than satisfied with your work.”

“Very well then, when do I start?”, you ask Jared.

“As far as I’m concerned right now. We’ll go to my place so you could meet Sophie, my current PR, and get all the info from her.”

“Great. Let me just grab my jacket and purse, and we can go.” 

He let’s you walk in front of him, opens the door for you and you look at him and nod as a sign of thank you.

While you were both walking out he puts his arm around your shoulder and says, “I bet you didn’t hope this will happen when you woke up this morning.”

“Sure I did. I was supposed to get a new client, and I did”, you say and take his arm off your shoulder.

This is gonna be interesting. You both kind of like each other, but you’re supposed to work together. Mixing business with pleasure was never a good thing for you. Since that time you dated a guy from work you swore never to do anything like that again. I guess you’ll see how resilient to a Leto charm you actually are.

[blogobot5000]

Swipe Left

By Bridget Hoarty and Erin E. Forgay

Lights: CLEO, EVE, BONNIE and GWEN enter. They were on their way to for a night out when one of them, CLEO, was hit on by someone outside and is very annoyed about it. This launches a whole conversation for what is our play.

CLEO: Was that guy FOR REAL? HONESTLY! I feel like every time I wear this fucking outfit some asshat cat calls me. (Mimicking) “Where you off to gorgeous? Can I come along? What’s your number?” Ugh!

GWEN: So seedy.

CLEO: It always just bugs me so much.

EVE: What a way to ruin the start of girls night.

CLEO: Why do men suck?

BONNIE: They don’t all suck… (CLEO gives BONNIE a pointed look and an eye roll) What! I’m just saying… I mean if there’s guys out there like Clyde… then he can’t be the only one! And he’s pretty great. He’s wicked sweet… (Dreamily) did I tell you the other day he brought me flowers and my favorite cider? Just because! He said he saw it in the store and he thought of me and he remembered how much I love this cider and how it’s not always easy to find and so he picked it up for me and wanted to surprise me… I feel so lucky.

CLEO: Gross. It’s just the honey moon phase… and like all moon phases, it’ll go away, Bonnie.

BONNIE: Why are you so bitter?

CLEO: I’m not bitter. I’m realistic… (Beat) No… I mean I am happy for you, Bons, I am. It’s just like…

BONNIE: (Cutting her off) Aw Cleo! You are?!

CLEO: I mean, I guess.

BONNIE: You guess?

GWEN: (Covering) We just don’t want you to get hurt!

CLEO: And I’m skeptical of almost every person.

MAN: Hey ladies! How are we doing tonight?

All at once: CLEO: Fine! ​BONNIE: Doing well, thanks! ​EVE: Hi

GWEN: (To ‘MAN’ who appears as our bartender/waiter throughout the night) Four please?

MAN: You got it. Right this way. (They walk to their table)

BONNIE: I need a drink. Not only was work a fucking NIGHTMARE but my aunt broke her foot and I’ve had to go over and help her give her elderly cat this medicine and she’s wanted to claw my eyes out every time.

EVE: When it rains, it pours

BONNIE: Well it feels like a hurricane!

GWEN: So dramatic.

BONNIE: Thank you. (Beat) At least Clyde was there to cheer me up… he’s just the sweetest-

CLEO: We get it.

BONNIE: What’s your deal? You haven’t even met him and you are like – already, like, totally hating on him.

CLEO: I’m just a little annoyed at the male sex at the moment. Nothing personal.

EVE: Well, if it helps you feel any better I got hit on at the gas station the other day.

CLEO: It does not but I still want to hear this story. (They’ve made it to their table and settled in at this point)

MAN: (Friendly and awkwardly, he’s heard their conversation and does not want to be caught in the crossfire) Waters to start?

EVE: Please.

GWEN: So, what happened at the gas station? Is that what your Facebook status was all about?

EVE: Oh, yeah. So I pulled up to the gas station and there was an attendant there. And he started talking to me and I was just being myself-

CLEO: So, too nice?

EVE: No! (They all give her a look) Okay! I mean I was just TALKING to him! Like a person! Is that a crime?

GWEN: (matter of fact) It’s an in for men to be creepy

EVE: And… yeah he wanted my number. And at first I was like ‘hah hah hah... oh stop’ and did not really want to give it out because he was being weird - and then things did get weird after I had told him ‘no thanks’ and he stood in front of my car and would not get out of the way until I gave it to him.

CLEO: Woah!

BONNIE: What the-

EVE: Maybe in a certain light… it could be romantic?

GWEN: Eve, that is NOT romantic. That is like Noah in The Notebook where he lets go of the ferris wheel with one hand and is hanging on with the other until she says she’s gonna go out with him- that shit is next level!

EVE: Aw – but I like The Notebook –

GWEN: Not the point!

MAN: Alright, so! What can I get you gals to drink?

BONNIE: Whiskey, neat

CLEO: Snakebite special, to start-

GWEN: A glass of the house red, thanks.

EVE: A Washington Apple martini, please. (MAN leaves. They all give her a look) What! It’s good!

CLEO: (Referring to bartender) Who says gals?

GWEN: Cut him slack. Not his head off.

CLEO: No promises.

GWEN: I actually got hit on at a gas station too…

BONNIE: For real?

EVE: When was yours?

GWEN: Well… it actually happened twice. One time I was getting my inspection sticker and, well I had never been to that specific gas station before. When I pulled up the only place to really go to the gas pump, which was full service. The guy there, he was probably about sixty or sixty five, he came over and asked…

MAN: (Every time MAN appears as a different person he should change something about his appearance, voice, stance, etc to note the change) Do you need some gas?

GWEN: Which, I did, so I told him yes but I also would like an inspection sticker, too. And so I’m telling him this as he’s pumping gas into my car…

MAN: Yeah, it’s a pretty good job. I like working here, not too bad. Especially on a day like today, it’s beautiful out today.

GWEN: Yeah! It’s nice that the sun is finally coming out. So glad it’s spring.

MAN: And I live right up the hill there, so I can walk to work… not a bad deal!

GWEN: No! Not at all. Must suck in the winter, though.

MAN: Oh it’s not to bad. Yeah… (looking her up and down) Not at all.

GWEN: Yup.

MAN: So, what’s your name?

GWEN: (To girls) … and I thought I could use my fake name-

BONNIE: You have a fake name?

GWEN: Yeah, Jen, but then I realized I couldn’t since I had to pay with my card… and I didn’t want to say a completely different name that wasn’t on my card because I didn’t want to be like arrested for fraud or something. So I had no other choice but to… (to MAN) Gwen.

MAN: Larry. Nice to meet you Gwen. You’re all set. Just bring your car on up over here and then we’ll get that sticker for ya. (He winks and walks away)

GWEN: (Cringing) Thanks. (to girls) So I wheeled my car up to their garage and hung around while it was serviced and then a bit later they were all “your car is ready!” … I went into pay for the sticker. And there was this other man in front of me who was buying TWO HUNDRED DOLLARS worth of scratch tickets. It was impressive. So impressive that when it was my turn good ol�� Larry wanted to talk to me all about it.

MAN: Can ya believe it! Two hundred dollars worth of tickets!

GWEN: (Slightly hesitant, not as friendly as before) Yeah- That’s what some people like to spend their money on!

MAN: I know some big scratchers but WOA. (Chuckles) Are you big into scratch tickets?

GWEN: Oh… no, not really. I mean, a lot of my family is. My grandfather would be impressed with that guy.

MAN: Yeah- my family are big scratchers. My cousin won a couple hundred recently. Lucky him!

GWEN: Oh.

MAN: Yeah! (Chuckle) So… will the sticker be all?

GWEN: Yup… just the sticker.

MAN: Just the sticker! (Taking time to ring her up) So… what does a young lady like you do for work?

GWEN: Oh, um - I’m a teacher.

MAN: A teacher, huh? Wish I’d had a teacher like you.

GWEN: (Awkwardly laughs) Oh, heh, yeah- It’s a good job… I mean, I like it. (Finishing transaction)

MAN: Yeah… (Leaning in) and you’re very beautiful ya know. Will I see you back around here again?

GWEN: I’m not sure- goodbye! (Grabbing receipt and rushing away, back toward the girls) I don’t think I could get out of there quickly enough. It got real weird, real quick.

BONNIE: I don’t blame you.

GWEN: And then there was this other time where I was at the gas station right before the freeway, and I went into the store to buy tampons and mints, the sexiest of gas station products.

CLEO: Naturally.

GWEN: The guy behind the counter was nice- he commented on my shirt:

MAN: Hey! Nice shirt! Boulder Colorado! I love it there!

GWEN: (Charismatically) Oh! Thank you! (Laughs) I’ve actually never been - I just have the shirt!

MAN: Well it’s a neat shirt! You should check it out if you ever have the chance. It’s a great place.

GWEN: (Enjoying the conversation) Thank you- yeah! It’s on my list for sure- I’ve heard really great things. I’d love to go.

MAN: Because it’s a great place! Well you’re all set-

GWEN: Thanks so much.

MAN: Have a great day, gorgeous.

GWEN: And that echoed as I left the store. This dinky little gas station. “Have a great day, gorgeous.” (Echo sound effect for the word ‘gorgeous’ to repeat multiple times before GWEN continues) It just felt so seedy and made my skin crawl. How could one word completely change a whole conversation? It ruined my day, honestly. There I was … I was coming from work… I was all sweaty from spending most of the day in the hot sun, cause, summer camp, ya know? And all I wanted was some gas, some mints, and TAMPONS, to go about the rest of my Friday afternoon. And, I generally like people, so if someone is chatting with me, I like to chat back!

CLEO: Mistake number one.

GWEN: And he ruins the whole conversation with one word: gorgeous. (Optional: A second echo sound effect for the word ‘gorgeous’ to repeat multiple times before GWEN continues) (GWEN cringes) I didn’t even fully process it until I was out the door. Part of me wanted to storm back in… (Going back into the scene, to the attendant) WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT? Why would you go and ruin a completely pleasant conversation? What are you even trying to accomplish by saying that to me?! Do you think it was flattering because it was certainly not flattering!

MAN: Woa woa! I was just trying to be nice.

GWEN: Well try again! OR

MAN: Are you yelling at me for complimenting you?

GWEN: I’m yelling at you for going about it in a weird way. OR WORSE:

MAN: (Calling police) Yeah, there’s a crazy lady on her period here attacking me in my store.

GWEN: (Offended) FUCK YOU! (Composing herself, deadpan) None of that happened though. (Beat) I didn’t go back in. I just got into my car. And left. I told Beth about it. We had just started dating then. And she didn’t really get it at first either - she was like ‘but you are gorgeous’ which … thank you, I’m glad you think so. I’m glad anyone might think so. I can take a compliment… or try to. But there is a difference between someone hitting on you and being a creep and being genuine and complimenting you. And that guy at this gas station took a pure moment. A fun, light conversation between two people and just turned it on its head.

BONNIE: Right! People can say stuff without laying on the moves. Like one time, I was with Laney at the mall and we were walking around some store. She was trying on shoes and I was just killing some time doing my thing, when a store worker walked by-

MAN: (Walks by, does a double take a GWEN, and is genuine and kind) Excuse me, miss, you are very, very pretty. Very pretty!

BONNIE: Aw, thank you!

MAN: You’re welcome.

BONNIE: See! That’s completely different.

GWEN: COMPLETELY DIFFERENT! Even last week, I was out at a bar with some coworkers- it was loud, karaoke night, and I decided to head out a bit early, it had been a crappy day and I just wanted to go home, you know? And as I walked out, there was this woman who tapped me on my should and told me she thought I was really pretty. I said thank you, we smiled, I left –

CLEO: (Raising eyebrows playfully at GWEN) And was she pretty too?

GWEN: (Blushing) Nothing would have happened-

EVE: That is sweet, though.

GWEN: It was-

MAN: (Breaking mood, as servers do at times) ALRIGHT! (Serving) We got one snakebite special, glass of red wine, a Washington apple and a whiskey - anything else for you ladies?

CLEO: We’re all set for right now, thanks.

MAN: I’ll be back in a few to check on you.

EVE: (Picking up conversation) Right. It’s like.... Well. You ever just … well has anyone ever said something to you – like they are hitting on you… but you have no idea why they would think that’s a way to someone’s heart?

ALL: (In unison) Yup.

BONNIE: Almost like they’re propositioning you!

CLEO: Or just want sex?

GWEN: Sometimes it’s hard to know what they want at all.

EVE: Even if you ask them.

GWEN: (Emphasizing) Even if you ask them!

EVE: Right! Like … like that one time- remember, at the casino? (Gesturing to CLEO) Remember?

CLEO: (She remembers) Yup.

EVE: We were just relaxing … having a drink, right? In the lounge of the new casino out near Springfield and this dude comes up to us…

MAN: Hey ladies, how are we doing?

CLEO: (Aside) He said ladies but really, he only had eyes for her.

EVE: And he was wearing an Oriels cap which, first of all: why? But I made a joke – well, I was being friendly –

CLEO: Always a mistake.

EVE: I was! What was I gonna do?! (In scene) Are you from Baltimore?

MAN: Well, no – I wear this cap because it’s my luck. I got it with some family and was wearing it the first time I won a round of cards – I was fifteen-

GWEN: Oh, jeez.

MAN: And I’ve worn it every day since. No one in my family is from Baltimore, really. But, I decided I’d wear it. I found it earlier that night and my brother dared me to wear it home, Joey – he can be such a dick- but it was a dare so I did it. Ma wanted to wash it “At least rinse it” she said – cause it was a little yellow and smelled like puke. But dare rules! I couldn’t wash it! And good thing! I won my first round that night and here we are… (beat)