#but wwx learns to not save others at his expense

[little-meowyao]

I think TGCF is a story about change and fixing things and redemption while MDZS is a story about assimilation and autonomy that fucks way harder if you read it to be intentionally unsatisfying and narratively Wrong

[robininthelabyrinth]

I need to know what u think of an AU where JC is the one who dies (sacrificing his life to save WWX) instead of JYL, he’s not as angry with WWX bc JYL is still alive so when he sees his brother about to get murdered he just steps in front of him while JYL and WWX see :) I don’t even know what I want u to do with this? Give me some headcanons? Is it a prompt? Idk I just want u to to see what u make of this (I promise JC is my fav but my mind likes to make me suffer :p)

1

It wasn’t a matter of conscious thought when Jiang Cheng threw himself between that cultivator’s sword and Wei Wuxian’s unguarded back, all his defenses down in the face of Jiang Yanli’s pleading, same as always; it was just instinct. Wei Wuxian was always the troublemaker, the crazy one, and Jiang Cheng always the one being dragged along; he’d long ago learned to spend all his time watching his shixiong’s back, keeping him away from dogs, away from angry shopkeepers, away from any harm. It was instinct, just as it had been the day he’d thrown himself out into the street to distract the Wens, and he’d always justified that instinct because he knew that Wei Wuxian would do the same for him.

Though – he didn’t know that anymore, not after everything that happened recently. Wei Wuxian had made him all the promises in the world, to stand by his side through wind and lightning, and he’d seemed to have no issue abandoning those promises, picking the remnants of the Wen sect over the remnants of the Jiang sect without a moment’s hesitation and not even the courtesy of an explanation.

The Yiling Patriarch was all but a stranger to him, and Jiang Cheng still didn’t understand why.

So it was probably stupid of him to react as if the person being stabbed at was Wei Wuxian, not the Yiling Patriarch – stupid of him to give up his life for someone who didn’t care about him nearly as much as Jiang Cheng cared for him.

But that’s why it wasn’t a thought. It was instinct.

He heard someone scream “Jiang Cheng!” as if their heart were breaking, and he thought for a moment that it was Wei Wuxian again, the one who loved him best. Wei Wuxian, not the Yiling Patriarch, who threw him to the dogs over and over again, put his sect at risk of utter destruction a second time over, just to indulge himself and his bizarre fixation on saving the Wens at the expense of everyone else. Who didn’t care about their duty to their sect, to their parents - who didn’t care about him at all.

Jiang Cheng’s heart hurt. It was probably just the sword that’d just been driven through it, though.

Hands grasped at his clothing, pulling him back; his sister’s face had lost all blood, and Wei Wuxian looked as if his world had ended – he wasn’t sure why. Jiang Yanli had her son to care for, a new life in Lanling that she refused to abandon even if Jin Zixuan was now gone; Wei Wuxian had his Wens, his new cultivation – perhaps it was some little regret, far too late, for the Jiang sect that would now come to grief, leaderless, the end of their family line and the disappointment of their ancestors. Jiang Cheng’s final and most absolute failure.

Jiang Cheng looked at them both, the ones he loved the most and who had left him without a single glance backwards, and found with his last breath that he had nothing to say to them.

He closed his eyes so they wouldn’t have to.

2

The battlefield was full of corpses, and Jiang Yanli didn’t care about a single one of them.

“Do you think he can be brought back, the way Wen Ning was?” she asked, holding the corpse in her arms as if it were still the baby brother she sang songs to as a child, the little crybaby who was so fierce on the outside and so soft on the inside. She had been able to lie to herself with Jin Zixuan’s body – he almost looked as though he were sleeping, head on the pillow beside her own – but Jiang Cheng had never slept well in his life, his brow always furrowed as if he was worrying about something even in his dreams, and the blank peace on his face was so wrong that she couldn’t bear to look at him.

She wasn’t asking Wei Wuxian.

Wei Wuxian had only stopped the massacre when Lan Wangji, of all unlikely people, had bodily tackled him; everyone had always said that the Second Jade was like oil and water with her A-Xian, but he’d unexpectedly taken their side in this battle and was even now letting a barely-conscious Wei Wuxian sob Jiang Cheng’s name into his collar. He looked silently at her, his gaze a quiet reminder that her question was inappropriate – one Ghost General had already been enough to cause all of this tragedy, and certainly no one would ever accept another as a sect leader.

She looked steadily back at him, indicating in return that she didn’t give a damn about the standing of the Jiang sect if it meant she wouldn’t have to bury her baby brother.

Lan Wangji hesitated, looking down at Wei Wuxian. “You cannot stay at Yiling,” he finally said. “After this…”

They’d killed people from virtually every sect; no matter who had sympathized with Wei Wuxian before this or how much they felt he was wronged, they would have no choice but to raise up arms against him.

Jiang Yanli understood. They would be fugitives, condemned by all. She didn’t care. “Will you help us?”

He nodded and stood, Wei Wuxian cradled as gently in his arms as she held Jiang Cheng in hers.

“Will you come with us?” she asked. Anyone who loved her brother enough to defy his sect, to stain his untainted blade with the blood of his own kin, deserved a chance to court him properly, if she hadn’t misunderstood his intentions; she didn’t think she had, not with the expression so clear on his silent face.

“I will help you,” he said, and that wasn’t an answer, wasn’t the one she wanted, but it would have to do for now. “Let us go.”

3

It was Jin Zixuan who figured it out, oddly enough. Perhaps it was because he was an outsider, looking at the situation without affection to blur his eyes.

“You gave him your golden core,” he said, less than a week into his resurrection – Lan Wangji had been very efficient in his help, not only finding a new place to hide Jiang Yanli and the remaining Wens but also returning to Lanling to steal Jin Zixuan’s corpse and little Jin Ling before returning to his own sect at the first sign that Wei Wuxian would awaken from his coma. He hadn’t sent word since that time, whether from regret or other reasons; their only consolation was that there was no news of his death. “That’s why you couldn’t do anything other than demonic cultivation – is that right?”

Wei Wuxian looked at him through blood-red eyes. “Get lost,” he said; the phrase made up the majority of his vocabulary, these days, and because he refused to curse his shijie he mostly ended up not talking to her at all.

“Wen Qing was a famous doctor – she could have figured out a way to do it, and that would explain why you felt so indebted to them,” Jin Zixuan continued. “You never told him because you didn’t want to burden him. But instead you left him without any reason, any explanation: he must have felt that you abandoned him because you didn’t want him.”

“Get lost!”

“You broke his heart,” he said, and looked down at Jiang Cheng’s body – still perfectly preserved, but unmoving. The resurrection spell had already failed three times. “No wonder he doesn’t want to return.”

“I did it for him!” Wei Wuxian screamed, tears of blood dripping down his cheeks. “He didn’t – he wouldn’t – he has to come back!”

Jin Zixuan said nothing.

4

They ended up back in Yunmeng, rather unexpectedly; the new leadership of the Lotus Pier, a distant branch cousin who’d survived the massacre because he’d been night-hunting elsewhere, had all but begged Jiang Yanli to return. Against all odds her reputation had survived the massacre at the Nightless City; the loving wife, sister, and shijie that nearly sacrificed herself to save what lives she could and to banish the dreadful Yiling Patriarch who was never seen again from that day forth –  she was very nearly regarded as an incarnation of the goddess of mercy.

She had no idea where that ridiculous notion came from, but it did mean that she could live in Lotus Pier again, with Jin Ling by her side – she’d told Jin Guangshan to name someone else as his heir, or at minimum as regent; the Jiang sect needed her and her son more. It wouldn’t have worked if Jin Zixuan hadn’t snuck into his mother’s room to convince Madam Jin to throw her support behind it; officially he was still in his tomb, since Lan Wangji had been very subtle, but in fact he lived within shouting distance of the Lotus Pier, spending his days playing with his son.

They all did, actually, the whole lot of them resettled into a tiny adjacent water town populated largely by civilians that relied on the Jiang sect for their prosperity. As long as Wei Wuxian never did anything, which he didn’t, the illusion that he was gone for good in a cloud of self-destruction after his terrible massacre could be maintained; no one expected they could possibly be so daring as to simply go home after all of it.

Lan Wangji was in seclusion, they were eventually told; Wei Wuxian hadn’t believed it for one second, smuggling himself into Gusu to check – he’d come back unconscious, slung over Jin Zixuan’s shoulder like a sack of potatoes.

“Struck by the discipline whip,” her husband, the fierce corpse that wasn’t fierce at all, said, and didn’t comment when she instinctively reached out to touch Jiang Cheng’s body, to trace the scar he had; she often spent her days next to the bed that preserved his corpse. “Many times; his body is ruined. It will take years for him to heal – the Lan sect saying he was in seclusion was their way of saving face. Wei Wuxian wants to bring him back to the Lotus Pier to hide him.”

Jiang Yanli rubbed her face, thinking not for the first time that the world would be an easier place if only her two brothers weren’t so stubborn. One who wouldn’t wake up, his spiritual consciousness all in pieces; the other who wouldn’t give up – “The Lan sect wouldn’t accept that.”

“He wasn’t planning on asking. That’s why I knocked him out. Anyway, they’re distracted with the Xue Yang matter now – my father’s still insisting on protecting him, and the Nie sect gets angrier about it by the day; without the Jiang sect, there’s only the Lan to play peacemaker, stop there from being another war.”

Jiang Yanli, who was very nice but also very much not the goddess of mercy, tilted her head to the side; something of her mother was in her eyes. “A war would be a good cover, though, or at least the rumblings of one. If we were going to steal Lan Wangji away from his sect, that is.”

He kissed her forehead. “I’ll sneak into Lanling to talk to my mother, maybe see if I can follow Xue Yang and see what he’s up to. You go talk to the Nie.”

5

Jiang Yanli’s visit to the Unclean Realm turned out to be more fruitful than anyone had expected. The moment she walked into Nie Mingjue’s receiving room, her Jiang sect bell rang so hard that it shattered, which it definitely hadn’t done during the war – they both stared at it wordlessly for a while.

Eventually, he cleared his throat, averting his eyes. “You know my family history,” he offered as an explanation, embarrassment at the public revelation of his problem already turning to anger but suppressed by his strict adherence to etiquette.

“That’s no family history,” she said, bemused, as she crouched down to poke at the pieces. “The silver bell of the Jiang sect can steady focus and calm the mind, and the ones made for the family are the strongest by far; it would only shatter like this in the effort to resist a spiritual poison…how are you feeling now, Sect Leader Nie?”

He considered for a long moment, and his face grew black with rage. “Better. I feel – like my mind has been filled with fog, and a clear breeze has blown it clear.”

She smiled up at him. “Perhaps you should visit Yunmeng.”

He scowled, and she realized he must know about Wei Wuxian’s presence, though she wasn’t sure how; despite that, in the end, after a roaring argument with Nie Huaisang in another room, he agreed to go, even if the idea of staying willfully blind clearly pained him to the core.

Jiang Yanli quietly approved of his decision to put family over principle.

When they put their mind to it, the Nie sect  had an underrated talent for saying ‘I don’t know’ to just about everything. Neither brother blinked an eye at the Wen sect remnants that still teetered every time they went on a boat, very clearly not Yunmeng locals; they politely greeted Jin Zixuan as if he’d only been gone a while and not murdered; much to his older brother’s very evident irritation, Nie Huaisang even leapt over to give Wei Wuxian an enthusiastic hug while Nie Mingjue was still talking with Jin Zixuan about what it meant that Jin Guangshan had hidden away the still intact Wen Ning, who Jin Zixuan had found in a hidden part of Koi Tower during his most recent visit and immediately liberated.

“Definitely a case of spiritual poisoning,” Wei Wuxian said after a short examination, and the most reliable doctor they had left in the Jiang sect concurred. “The silver bell can help a little –” 

They’d already shattered seven of them, but Nie Mingjue had actually cracked a smile for the first time in months, to hear a sobbingly relieved Nie Huaisang tell it. 

“–but it can only help so much; that technique is really only meant for acute cases. And you really need to figure out what was doing the poisoning; there’s no point in curing you if you’re only going to get poisoned again.”

“A matter for a later time,” Nie Mingjue, who clearly had some suspicions that made him look as though he’d been stabbed in the back, said. “Now that we know it’s a poisoning, and my mind is clearer, I can take some action myself – the Nie have plenty of techniques to stabilize the spirit.”

Wei Wuxian’s smile was full of self-hatred, as it always was these days. “I don’t suppose any of those are designed to work on the dead.”

“Actually,” Nie Huaisang said. “Several are. Why do you ask?”

6

Jiang Cheng opened his eyes.

[uzunofu]

I looked through the chapters with the incidents you mentioned in this post, @crossdressingdeath. Brace yourself, it will be a long post.

First, "the one time [JYL] claims WWX as family (something which as far as I recall she does at no point before or after, certainly not where other people might hear) is also the one time where not doing so might negatively affect her".

She says it three times during that scene. The first two are in relation to her demand for Jin Zixun to apologize.

"A-Xian is a disciple of the YunmengJiang Sect. He grew up with my brother and I, and so he’s as close as a brother is to me. Calling him the ‘son of a servant’—I’m sorry, but I won’t accept this."

...

Jiang YanLi’s voice was soft, “Madam, A-Xian is my younger brother. Him being humiliated by others, to me, isn’t just a small matter.”

The third time:

Madam Jin raised her brows, looking Wei WuXian up and down. Her gaze was somewhat cautious, as if she was feeling displeased, “A young man and a young woman—you two can’t stick together all the time if nobody else is present.”

Jiang YanLi, “A-Xian is my younger brother.”

— ch. 70

To me, this last one sounds like a politely incredulous, "I just told you he's my brother and you're still insisting on this?" It's not a "no-no-no, it's not like that!", it's a "are you being serious right now?"

You are right in that she never does it before or after, but in this particular scene it's not about saving face.

You are also right in that she drops her demand for an apology, but JZxun literally stormed away, and then there was the Epic Confession from JZX and things got derailed. Did it seem like sweeping things under the rug at WWX's expense? Well, yes. But also, would it have done him any favors if she kept at it? I really don't know. It could've made things better, it could've made them worse.

Then, "stealing food from a guy who grew up STARVING ON THE STREETS even though JC had almost certainly already eaten".

“Fooling around again! Your sect leader, I, has already poured you a bowl and put it outside. Kneel for me to express your gratitude and go drink your soup outside.”

Wei WuXian skipped outside before he turned around and came back, “What do you mean by this, Jiang Cheng? Where’s the meat?”

Jiang Cheng, “Finished it. There’s only lotus roots left. Don’t eat them if you don’t want to.”

Wei WuXian attacked with his elbow, “Spit out the meat!”

Jiang Cheng, “No objections. I’ll spit them out and let’s see if you’ll eat them!”

Seeing that they started to argue again, Jiang YanLi quickly interrupted, “Okay, okay. How old are you two, fighting over some meat? I’ll just make another jar…”

— ch. 71

WWX doesn't generally seem food-conscious. This is reiterated later on in this chapter when the narrative mentions that when he first came to Lotus Pier, he was careful not to take too much or draw too much attention because he was afraid to be judged a burden. It's possible to read it as a confirmation: see, the soup incident several paragraphs earlier was serious for WWX even though neither JC nor JYL realized it. But I'm reading this in the opposite way: WWX used to be like that but not anymore. I also can't help but remember Xie Lian eating a steamed bun he picked up from the ground and saying that it's edible, it's still good, why waste food? We never see stuff like that from WWX.

JYL here doesn't take JC's side. In fact, she doesn't take anyone's side, she just wants them to stop bickering. Again, it's possible to say that JC is in the wrong here and WWX is in the right, so her not taking a side means silent agreement with JC. But really, I just don't think it's that serious.

A few chapters later, during LWJ's visit to the Burial Mounds, Wen Qing carelessly sweeps away WWX's things to clear a seat for LWJ. WWX goes, "Hey!", and Wen Qing also doesn't take him seriously. But no one tries to point at her and go, "See, she doesn't respect WWX, and she never apologizes for that." It's banter. Later on, it stops being banter between WWX and JC, but at this point, it's just shenanigans.

Then, the incident with the dogs and the tree:

Seeing how worried he seemed, Wei WuXian took the initiative, “Relax. I won’t tell Uncle Jiang. I only hurt myself because I suddenly wanted to climb a tree last night.”

Hearing this, Jiang Cheng sighed in relief. He swore, “You can relax as well. Anytime I see a dog, I’ll chase it away for you!”

Seeing how the two finally made up with each other, Jiang YanLi cheered, “That’s the spirit.”

— ch. 71

She is happy because they made up and because this exchange seems like a tentative start to a friendship: "I'll cover for you" returned with "I'll protect you from your fears". Yes, JC used that fear against him in the first place — but he apologized and promised to make up for it. WWX falling from a tree wasn't directly JC's fault anyway; he didn't chase him up that tree and then push him down so that he'd get injured, he only told him to stay out of their room. It was a childish tantrum that led to unfortunate consequences. Not many children would willingly admit to a wrongdoing.

I also want to note that we don't actually learn WWX's leg was broken in this chapter. JYL says it isn't broken, it's probably not even fractured, and later on it's mentioned that the doctor cleaned and bandaged their injuries, but her assumption of his leg not being broken isn't refuted. We only get confirmation that it really was broken in chapter 87 when he shares this story with LWJ.

Finally, "JYL gets upset at WWX for breaking [JC's] arm".

Jiang YanLi, however, noticed [Wen Ning's] awkwardness. She asked him a couple of things and began to chat with Wen Ning outside. Wei WuXian and Jiang Cheng stood in the yard.

[...]

After he drank a mouthful, Jiang Cheng spoke, “How’s your wound from last time?”

Wei WuXian, “It healed a long time ago.”

Jiang Cheng, “Mn.” With a pause, he continued, “How many days?”

Wei WuXian, “Less than seven. I told you before. With Wen Qing, it was nothing difficult. But you really did fucking stab me.”

Jiang Cheng ate a piece of lotus root, “You were the one who smashed my arm first. You took seven days, while I had to hang my arm up for an entire month.”

Wei WuXian grinned, “How could it seem realistic if it wasn’t hard enough? It was your left hand anyways. It didn’t hinder you from writing. It takes a hundred days to heal a wound to the bone. It wouldn’t be too much even if you hung it up for three months.”

— ch. 75

So: she wasn't even present during that conversation. After this, they part ways.

JYL doesn't really seem to have much of a role in WWX's life apart from comforting him and being placed on a pedestal. She mostly comes off as lacking because of the obvious comparison to Wen Ning. Even though he is just as gentle, he also stands up for WWX during the golden core reveal and does it spectacularly. JYL wields her social position, Wen Ning wields his physically indestructible nature (JC lashes him with Zidian, but since Wen Ning is a corpse, he can just keep talking). The circumstances, however, are different. Wen Ning has years of resentment built up, both for himself and for WWX, but to JYL Jin Zixun is a non-entity. The golden core reveal takes place in private and whether Wen Ning keeps going or stops, it can't make things any worse, but the Phoenix Mountain scene is a public almost-scandal and had she insisted, it could've gone two ways: either people back down because WWX has someone in his corner (unlikely, because JYL is a woman and JC, his sect leader, isn't in his corner) and admit that he didn't break any hard rules, or they use this as further ammunition against him.

I think WWX was right in the falling-from-a-tree-into-LWJ's-arms scene: JYL wasn't strong enough, so could she have caught him?

[somuchnonsense]

“Flufftober” Drabbles 5-9

The sarcasm quotes are there because I’m using the Flufftober prompt list but some of these are definitely not fluff. Drabbles 1-4 here.

5. Sweet    (canon Xue Yang gen)

In a better world, someone saw a young Xue Yang starving on the streets and gave him food, steamed buns to fill his stomach and all the sweets he could want to finish off his meal. Someone saw a little boy, scared and alone with nowhere to go, and brought him home, gave him a place to live where he could be safe and in good company. Someone saw a child who had never learned how to love and showed him that he could be loved and wanted, and that he could love in return instead of hurting.

In this world, a young man who suffered and made others suffer far worse than he ever did, a man whose chance at redemption arrived far too late, dies with a spoiled candy clenched in his fist.

6. Pillows    (pre-canon WWX gen)

When Wei Wuxian was orphaned and alone on the streets, he mostly wished for food enough to fill his belly or a house to keep him warm on cold winter nights. Sometimes, he saw children walking with their parents and longed for the love and security of a mother and father to watch over him. He only just barely remembered having that himself, but he pined for it all the same.

What he never thought about on those nights sleeping outside, cold and hungry and alone, what he never realized he was missing until he came to live in Lotus Pier was pillows, or the softness of a well-padded bed or a thick, warm blanket. Jiang Cheng, sleeping across the room from him, takes that comfort for granted, but for Wei Wuxian, it’s the height of luxury to curl up on this cozy bed in a warm, clean room and not have to want for anything. He can scarcely believe his luck, to be plucked off the streets and brought to this, and he can scarcely believe that he’ll get to keep it, but he’ll enjoy it for all he’s worth while it lasts.

Wei Wuxian never forgets—and it serves him well in later years—how to live with discomfort, how to sleep anywhere and eat whatever he can find, how to be alone and push through fear. But he also never forgets to enjoy the good things in life: a comfortable bed, a well-cooked meal, strong and delicious wine, and the precious company of those he loves.

7. A First Time    (post-canon Wangxian feelings)

“Stop.” Lan Wangji’s voice is quiet, calm, and firm.

“Stop what?” Wei Wuxian laughs, but a little nervously, unsure what he’s done to bother his husband.

“Stop talking that way,” Lan Wangji elaborates, which clarifies nothing to Wei Wuxian.

“What way? Too many hand gestures?” Wei Wuxian waves his hands around exaggeratedly.

“Stop blaming yourself for other people’s actions. Stop talking as though it’s your responsibility to save the world and your failure if you don’t.” Lan Wangji’s voice is still quiet, but earnest and sure of what he’s saying.

Wei Wuxian’s laugh is significantly more awkward now. “Lan Zhan, I wasn’t…” Lan Wangji’s eyes fix on him, seeing right through all the walls he has up, and Wei Wuxian gives up on trying to deny it. He doesn’t know what to say instead, so they lapse into silence.

Lan Wangji comes to stand in front of him, his gaze even more piercing up close. “You are enough,” he says. “More than enough.”

Wei Wuxian is so incredibly uncomfortable and so overwhelmed with love that he doesn’t know what to do with himself. He’s wanted to hear those words, on some subconscious level, for a very long time, but that doesn’t mean he can handle actually hearing them. “Lan Zhan, you can’t just…”

“I can.” There’s a softness to Lan Wangji’s expression now, almost a smile, and Wei Wuxian hides his face in Lan Wangji’s shoulder because it’s all just too much for him. Lan Wangji says nothing, only wraps his arms securely around him, and that, Wei Wuxian thinks, is enough.

8. Laughter    (post-canon Wangxian)

Lan Wangji never laughs outright, but Wei Wuxian has learned to read the signs: the little twinkles in his eyes or the crinkles at their corners, the most marginal upturn of his lips that tells him Lan Wangji is amused by something—often at Wei Wuxian’s expense.

It always makes him smile when he sees it, even when Lan Wangji is laughing at him. He never could have imagined, once upon a time, that he'd be able to recognize so much emotion in Lan Wangji's inexpressive face, let alone that he'd see Lan Wangji fondly laughing at him. It makes him happier than he can explain, makes him want to be extra silly or even embarrass himself on purpose just to get that kind of reaction from Lan Wangji. And it makes him feel very lucky that he’s gotten to know Lan Wangji well enough to understand him in a way so few people do, and that he gets to have Lan Wangji by his side, happily looking (and laughing) at him.

9. Rain    (CQL canon Wangxian)

Lan Wangji’s umbrella protects him from the cold rain, but he feels as though it’s pounding down onto him anyway as he stands before Wei Wuxian and the Wen prisoners on their horses. Wei Wuxian’s words hit him as hard as any rain and chill him as surely as if he were soaked through.

They both want to protect others and do what’s right. They both knew, or should have known, that imprisoning and killing the defenseless remnants of the Wen Sect was wrong. But only Wei Wuxian out of all the cultivators in the major and minor sects is willing to stand against it now, not caring what it means for him.

For all their teachings about right and wrong, the Lan Sect has been willing to stand by and let innocents die—and Lan Wangji has been too. How much are all their lofty morals worth if they can justify treating small children and weary old grandmothers as the enemy? How can it be right to condemn Wei Wuxian, who is only trying to help when no one else will?

It sends a far deeper chill into Lan Wangji’s bones when Wei Wuxian offers to fight him—when he says, in essence, that he will accept being killed by Lan Wangji. Wei Wuxian is rebelling against the cultivation world, but he will still accept Lan Wangji’s judgment. It seems that he’s saying, on some level, that if Lan Wangji believes he’s in the wrong, it must be true, a level of trust that Lan Wangji had no idea he had earned from Wei Wuxian.

His uncle would tell him that Wei Wuxian deserves to die. “Do not befriend the evil,” the Lan Sect rules say. But Wei Wuxian is looking at him with such determination and such trust, and Lan Wangji can’t accept that he’s evil, or that what he’s doing is wrong. He can’t bring himself to help, but he can step back to let Wei Wuxian and the others past, and he can hope that they’ll be safe.

As Lan Wangji is left alone, dropping his umbrella to let the rain fall on him at last, he wishes that he could be as brave as Wei Wuxian, as certain that what he’s doing is right and as determined to do it. He also realizes, with a shock even colder than the rain, what he already knew in his heart: that he could never kill Wei Wuxian, no matter what he does. But he can’t keep him either, and so he can only stand there in the dark, alone, long after Wei Wuxian is gone.

[khaotungsfirst]

Yeah I agree, the storylines Amy and Rory got weren't great. But honestly, I think the cast helped bring life to the characters which is why I like them so much anyway 😊 And yes to Martha! She's so awesome, I actually rewatched her seasons a few months back and found I loved them more than I remembered? I don't really watch current DW now (fell off following it not long after the 50th), but I still like revising the old episodes from time to time. They make me smile 😊 - CC 🦊

We'll find some way to watch tgcf, worry not! If the Funimation route doesn't work I'll see if I can ask around and find something else. I'm so used to looking to sites like Crunchyroll when it comes to non-western animation that I forget the site doesn't list a lot of stuff that isn't just anime 😂CC reveal is in a few days so I'll send you the Funi link for the first episode then and you can see if it works for you too 😊- CC 🦊

Aww, I'm glad you had a good Christmas though ❤️ Where I live decorations aren't too overboard either. A lot of people either put lights outside or on outdoor trees, and a few houses might do a window display. I have seen some videos on YouTube this year though of streets that are purposely decorated extravagantly for people to go and visit, but it's mostly America I've seen those. They look so pretty and a ton of fun though! - CC 🦊

I love your Christmas gift ideas for some of the characters. And lol, omg, you made me laugh with 'wwx not being allowed to give lwj a massage it'll just turn nsfw' because yeah ... yeah it would with them 🤣Matching hair pieces for them though that act like an engagement ring is such a cute idea 🥺I think I'd give jc a puppy, but only if he promises to not upset his brother's phobia with it! He just needs a good pup - - CC 🦊

I'd give lwj a lotus root soup recipe so he could make it for wwx, or if jy is able prod her into the idea of doing so if she hadn't already. wwx can have some new black robes - i'm sure lwj is spoiling him with more luxurious ones, but the boy needs a bigger wardrobe! sizhui and the boys can have an expenses paid meal at their favourite restaurant, with plenty of chicken for jingyi 🤣- CC 🦊

I think this might be my last question time for you before reveal! I'll try and make it a special one 😊 Do you have any favourite memories from this past year? Can be related to something that's happened in fandom or through mdzs, or can just be something that's made you happy or smile. I know 2020 hasn't been the easiest year, but there's been pockets of sunshine between all the crazy! ☀️ - CC 🦊

Talking to you about dw really made me want to rewatch some of the old episodes. I also fell off pretty soon after the 50th, though I did return to watch all of 12′s episodes and I would watch the new ones as well but they’re simply not easily available to me atm 😩

Aaaaahh I can’t wait to start our lil tgcf buddy watch!! It’s gonna be great cause if we love it we can scream abt it together and if we don’t like it we can roast it together 😂 (but I think we’re gonna love it)

Oh yeah, I’ve also seen some crazy american christmas decorations on youtube where the entire street is lit up. I would love to see that irl some day!

I thought abt giving jc a puppy, too but... wwx... 😅 though maybe wwx should get therapy sessions for christmas so he can work through his trauma and then maybe one day not be afraid of dogs anymore or at least not of jc’s dog 😅and aaaahhhh yes!! jyl introducing lwj to her cooking and especially the lotus root and ribs soup and lwj would be so diligent in learning how to do it perfectly bc he loves wwx so much!!! 🥺yes more robes for wwx!!! and maybe also some colourful ones (like not bright colours but maybe jewel toned?? like a really dark blue or red? 👀 he’d look like a snacc) 

and that’s such a sweet question! i’m not going to lie i had to think abt it for a moment cause as you said, 2020 really wasn’t the best of years for any of us, but i have a few: 

buying my first car!!! whooo a bitch is free to go wherever she wants whenever she wants!! (if covid would let me 😩)

finding an apartment and looking forward to living by myself (i CANNOT wait to decorate my apartment he way i want it to look!!)

the realisation that i’m fully and truly over my ex and that i’m actually quite content with being single (do i still want love? yeah sure but i’m not desperately craving it anymore and it feels so liberating)

the new lady gaga album giving me life

discovering the untamed and and just LOVING something so much and wholeheartedly again. i’ve missed being so wrapped up in one piece of media cause i haven’t had that in quite some time and it feels so nice!

joining the mdzs fandom who have been the nicest and most welcoming ppl ever! i’ve been on this website for almost a decade and never have i felt like i belong somewhere or like i had mutuals who are my friends until now. i have met so many amazing ppl in the past few months since i joined the fandom and it makes me so happy!! i love all of you, including you, dear CC! you all have made me life so much brighter! ❤️(also going along with that: returning to gifmaking and just having a creative outlet again is SO MUCH FUN)

this is related to the previous point but it stuck with me: one night when i went to bed, i was smiling so much and i felt so indescribably happy simply because ppl on here were being nice to me and my gifsets were doing well and we were all having a laugh at something fandom-related and i just... it sounds so stupid but i went to sleep with a smile on my face and i don’t remember the last time that happened

getting passionate about learning a new language which is chinese! i don’t know for how long that will last but atm i’m enjoying it so much and i hope i’ll get to at least a semi-fluent level! it’s a language that’s completely different from the other languages i’ve learned so far and i loooove the characters!! also it makes me feel productive during these boring times.

asakdjfgjdfdkgf so many of these are related to mdzs but i truly feel like it saved me from spiralling into a dark seasonal depression. maybe not the healthiest way to cope but better than nothing... 🤷🏻‍♀️

Dear CC, I want to thank you for keeping me company and asking me so many fun questions this past month! 💕 I can’t wait to find out who you are and start watching tgcf with you. I hope you had just as much fun with your personal CC as I had with you. See you on NYE! 😘