#but wow i was rly living under a rock :((((

[thechaosoflonging]

i’ve been following jenn im solely on ytb since i was in middle skl loosely n i loved how articulate she is n her book vids n if it was jus books i would have been subscribed 2 her like i did in da old days,,, her ‘a new chapter’ video appeared on my algorithm & as soon as i saw da thumbnail, idk y but i had an initial gut feeling n da voice in my head told me dat she was separating from her husband ? i feel saur sad for her bc i always taught they were saur cute n their meet up story i still rmb 2 dis day! i always thought she was so perfect & prob bc she’s a double virgo i wanted to be her so badly when i was younger. i feel sm sympathy for her & maybe i’ll start following her again bc i rly want to see her grow n flourish n i could listen to her talk for hOURS

[cheswirls]

WOW there was rly no other mention of figarland in film red and op wikis article hasn’t updated w 1086 so i had to go back and brush over to see where it was

after skimming the back half okay i have. new perspective ONE is that garland isn’t stated to be a world noble which i assumed the first time. he’s head of the knights and given a position of power in the holy land, obviously, if he can judge world nobles so freely (like.. enough to sentence one to death) and he does look like he’s in a position of power and knows it, like he gives off that air. but it’s not a stuck-up born-with-it air like other celestials

and then i realized that hes the former king of god valley, like in a very recent less-than-100-yrs-ago type. and uta was speculated to be a figarland after her relations w shanks were revealed.

at first i thought it would make sense, then, how shanks has gotten away with so much. (back when i thought garland was a celestial) that it explains why he was able to stop the war, and why sengoku said ‘because it’s you, i’ll allow it’ bc he didn’t rly have a choice in allowing it. that him seeing the elder planets was kinda like how mingo leveraged and weaponized his knowledge of the holy land. because it’s you, they said. and it would make sense, because shanks could have been born a celestial dragon but if he was found at god valley as a baby, or was placed on the oro jackson or w/e a la uta and the red-haireds, then he would grow up a pirate despite his heritage, but obviously if he would out then no one could deny him such. they sit at the top of the world for a reason

and then i backed off bc i realized it didn’t outright say garland was a world noble anywhere. so now my connection of shanks is coming from the god valley collection, and more in particular, the final words he says. on surface level he’s referring to mjosgard, but this is oda and nothing is ever only surface level. so if we are juxtaposing with shanks, then garland’s words surely are meant to be a foreshadowing. either into his character or shanks’. it really got me thinking on who shanks talked with the elder planets abt. luffy, or teach? but then, also, maybe roger? maybe rocks?? like, was he talking about a future problem, or something from the past coming to light instead????

anyone that protects scum is worse than scum themselves. my first thought immediately went to luffy. if we’re meant to tie garland in w shanks, and taking his words as some sort of future foreshadowing, and going off the assumption that shanks is going to be different bc god valley wasn’t around when he was growing up, then it’s gotta be him doing just that. like it’s gotta be more than snide words to mjosgard. maybe it’s abt shanks’ whole character, since 1076 (which i went back n glanced at to see if figarland was mentioned - nope) revealed that the crews under shanks’ fleet are kinda wishy-washy, and they joke abt protection money. shanks having so many common ppl -pirates no less- under him that can’t fend for themselves would be a good indicator in regards to what garland said. like i can see him saying that abt shanks. but, again, i can also see him saying that abt luffy. (i can also see it inadvertently coming back around to affect sanji, if the two ever interact, as yet another form of sanji rejecting his royal blood. but i digress-)

something abt god valley is going to be startlingly impt very quickly. its almost definitely been hit w an island-wiping beam like lulusia was, to have vanished like that in that manner of speaking (how sengoku warded others from investigating on their own and jus listening to him) and how the elder planets referred to lulusia in the original chapter it was blown to bits (a very different perspective this time around!!!! intriguing and eye-opening, rly wanna know where the nerona family lived before moving to the holy land. it couldn’t have been mother flame that did in god valley tho, or at least not whatever version they used on lulusia, since they talked abt it like they were testing a prototype. maybe they did have an ancient weapon at one point, and this is vp’s man-made counter to it like the blueprints franky had were the countermeasure to pluton?? vp took research on the void century from ohara over 20 yrs ago, and god valley vanished over 40, so if he (and therefore a rogue stella) found out a way to counter an ancient weapon, it would have to be after both. meaning the method of eliminating god valley and lulusia is similar but not the exact same, like an imitation

i wonder if god valley wraps all the way around, actually, bc roger and garp teamed up to protect celestial dragons. figarland is a judge onto the celestials in present day. the elder planets are partial to shanks, and garp views all celestials as scumbags (a la his convo w stelly) and dragon’s goal was to declare war specifically on the celestials. ik luffy’s mother has got to be impt, but i am starting to buy into his mother or grandmother being a world noble less and less, the more these egghead chapters reveal. garp and dragon just aren’t framed as having any partiality among celestial dragons. you would think if dragon met someone, that even if something terrible happened and they were judged by god’s knights, that dragon would take to heart that not all world nobles are bad (like we’ve been seeing w/ various donquixotes since the timeskip) and reconsider what he wants. but he doesn’t, so it doesn’t make sense for that to have happened. garp is the same way, and has been portrayed as such by his refusal to take an admiral slot since he made his debut in the manga. 

but god valley fits into the puzzle somewhere, and shanks is the missing piece to something. like somehow, someone got a baby shanks aboard the oro jackson. was it garp, after the fighting w rocks was over and his guard duty was essentially done?? was it someone else at the time, either a celestial (mother???) or a former resident of god valley? i guess we technically don’t know when garland retired to the holy land, so god valley could have not been a kingdom for many many years prior to the roger+garp vs rocks crew showdown. but both of them being there and teaming up makes me think it has to do with shanks, or shanks was a result and/or consequence of such. and the garp connection makes me think there’s a dragon connection, too. there’s 16 yrs between shanks and dragon. if dragon happened to be a former marine, would he have been there? did he have something to do with shanks being looked after by roger’s crew?

and then i am. tepidly circling around the idea that shanks could be tied to luffy’s mother, somehow. if oda is setting up shanks and garland to be opposites or foils or something, and if garland’s final words are a reference to shanks and luffy in the future, then? ??????????? idk. i think comparing shanks and luffy wouldn’t be far off either, especially if there’s a hidden middle man tying them closer together. like they don’t have to be related, that’s not necessarily what i’m getting at. but it would be very interesting if luffy’s mother had something to do with nobility tied so closely to the world nobles.

[electraslight]

I care about ur Bevin headcannon I would love to hear

YES i finally get to yell abt these two, its my fav ship in the series idk why people arent more into it. Fanart is supplied as usual and i have some evidence-ey screenshots under the cut, mostly bc i want to share them w SOMEONE other than my friend blue. Enjoy my ramblings

-kevin is dating both ben and gwen, gwen and his relationship being a lot more outward and public and ben a more private relationship, they only ever kiss or hold hands when its just the two of them or (rarely) when gwen is around, partially bc of bens fame and his own hangups about liking men and partially bc when they are romantic they r extremely vulnerable with each other and thats the sort of thing they wouldnt want anyone else to see.

-(quoting from a discord dm w my friend) ben and kevin violence is something that if u saw it in a painting or a movie it would be rly profound and aweinspiring. in real life its also the same, but it feels so much like intruding when ur actually watchingbc kevin and ben have all their emotions about each other in v short bursts, theyll bottle them up 4 an extended period of time and then have som e massive cataclysmic event when it bubbles to the surface. there r literally no continual emotional moments between them like kevin and gwen who have contunious small emotions abt each other, kevin and ben will hang out 4 months at a time and then one day just start hitting each other, which is in a way a part of the romance

-in omniverse theres a scene where its shown that 12 year old kevin is in possession of a photo of ben that is suspiciously well worn, it has rips and stains and has been crumpled up and refolded a couple times. I like to think he kept that photo, whether to use as a beacon of hate or chew on and cry who knows. 

-ben and kevin dont give a shit about what form the other takes, the only time ben has ever blushed about a guy is when mutant kevin grabbed him in the rooters arc and kevin is around alien versions of ben every day and doesnt bat an eye. This is why i think that once kevin and ben get together kevin makes a game about kissing all of his aliens (indiscriminatley. Even if they dont have mouths) he makes a scoring system and writes reviews on how good the experience was in glitter gel pen and makes a ranking list of his favorites. Stinkfly sweeps the vote, shocking everybody. Ben would rank kissing kevins mutations but only 2 out of 5 would even consider it before turning him into pink mist so he just sticks with what he knows.

- ben and kevin get married when theyre older and gwen stays in girlfriend status (mostly bc she knows that ben has a much shorter lifespan than her and kevin and she wants to give him the happiest time she can while hes still there) and they all live in a mansion the size of the white house. Kai comes by once a month to keep kenny happy (he still thinks shes his bio mom even after theyve told him multiple times she was just a donor. Gwen says he gets his delusions from ben). Ben and kevin like to sit on the 500 foot long porch and throw rocks at passerby and snuggle. Kevin is so happy he giggles mindlessly to himself in public, scaring strangers. He tries to get them to look at pictures of his family but this only further creeps them out.

-kevin finds the most random shit ben does extremely charming. hed look at him picking his boogers and eating them and he thinks in his head i need this guy so much. ben finishes a rubix cube not even very fast and kevins like wow. cool. do you like emos.ben is charmed by kevin in the same way. he sees kevin use the toilet brush to scratch an itch on his back and hes like fuck oh fuck oh fuck

I have more i prommy i just cant think of them rn, i will make more if im able. 4 now please have my collection of bevin screenshots under the cut. Spread the word my disciples. fair warning there are a lot

[midsumner]

moodboard - for @julietcapulct

happy birthday hollie! 🕊️

[wholesome-lesbiab]

Imagine living in the past where ppl didn't even know how big our planet is imagine the sheer anxiety of not knowing where exactly, in the bigger scale, you're living. Earth could have been something like thousands of shattered pieces of planet collectively floating in space on its way to a black hole or some shit and in the mean time some asshat named Kristoffer Kol-dumb-us is setting sail to "India" bc he wants some pepper, only ending up "finding" America but just IMAGINE what all these explorers could have found instead bc they literally had no idea what to expect. NO IDEA.

AND WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT IT

We still don't rly know jack shit about this planet and the universe. THE UNIVERSE. We really really really don't know anything what's out there like woo we went to the moon woohoo but that's such a small area to explore it rly is like when some peasant dying from the plague walked like two meters to a town he had never seen before and went like "oh wow this changes everything" when it's just the tiniest of explorations made. So so tiny. We are so so tiny.

But the universe is unbelievably massive and we haven't even properly explored our oceans yet. We are so eager to see what's out there in space when we don't even really know what lies under the water surface. "it's just more fish," you say, and I laugh at you knowing that Ctulhu would devour your ass first.

Maybe it's just fish. Maybe it is some hungry old God that has been sleeping there peacefully until the day They arise. Maybe space doesn't have any special intellectual beings in other planets. Maybe it's just rocks and more emptiness.

Human race will never truly know everything. Maybe we aren't meant to know. Maybe we are too stubborn to know the existence of Everything and that will be our demise. To know everything is to accept the fact that we won't

[mrsmess]

Faves and fails of SPN (season 11)

Favorite episodes in chronological order:

11:1 Out of the darkness into the fire - And Crowley out of the fire into the orgy. And poor Cass. Sam asking the relevant questions, making the relevant comments. ”We have to change”. Let’s just see how much follow through comes from it. ”Do what you do, but you have to let me do what i do too.” Mr Mess’s reaction to the Darkness being a girl ”Well, at least she’ll be Dead in like two episodes.” Lol. Also; naming the big bad The Darkness

Deputy Jenna: [about the baby] ”I have no idea what I’m doing.”

Me [in Dean-voice] ”We don’t either and our baby is the world!”

Mr Mess: ”Saving the world, one poopy diaper at a time!”

11:4 Baby - About a car. Wow. This is awesome! Technically this stopped being a rewatch two episodes back so I am ecstatic to get to see this gem of an episode for the first time! Gives me hope for the remaining seasons. Seriously though: dreamy roadtrip two brothers in a car should be an obligatory episode format at least once each season. This makes my overall top list of episodes all seasons.

11:5 Thin Lizzie - Ghostfacers-references! ”Your weird serial killed-fetish” and Cass bingeing The Wire. Lol! Wow, is this the Cheshirecat Inn? The boys are fun this episode. I have to remember that most of my issues w Supernatural is surrounding the intro- and outroepisodes and that the best stuff is always in the gooey middle of the seasons. Interesting thoughts on how differently soullessness affects people.

11:7 Plush - Oh yes! Oh yes! Yes, officer? A plush bunny killed my worthless husband. Here for it. Sam can’t look at the clown! I’m dying. Oh! Full on clown-time! And Donna! I’m so happy! The story’s sad too.

11:8 Just my imagination - Sparkles! Nooooo! Brilliant concept! Sam has an imaginary friend <3 The boys dressing up as Mr Rogers. My heart. Dean trying to name creatures: a manicorn, werepire. :D The Totoro-reference. The conclusion is kinda lame and unearned, but I love the episode anyway. ”Okay. Not happening. Good talk.”

11:10 The devil in the details - Lucifer bringing it. Making very good points. Ambriel is cute, and the Darkness wearing literal Darkness - neat . But the whole thing about the brothers, Cass, being vulnerable to negging and plan manipulation centered around their relationship and importance is kinda... old? Would they even listen to trash talk at this point? The reference to Lucifer, the comic.

11:11 Into the mystic - good song, freaky banshee. And hey, Supernatural, I was gonna scold you for going all ick at age differences under the circumstances, but then: The brothers talking about the golden girls. Lol. Eileen, and Mildred - yay! Kudos to the show’s contingency having Sam apologize for the first half of season 8. Less kudos for blaming a fictional character for real life bad writing. #notforgivennotforgotten.

11:12 Don’t you forget about me - YES. Just yes. Ramdeen and Newton are both great and I love ’em. I love Dean and Sam at the dinner table.

11:14 The vessel - time for a retro nazi adventure! I love it, obviously.

11:16 Safe house - I love monster of the week stuff! But it’s rly getting hilarious, the brothers having the exact same discussion everytime they work a case inrelated to the season’s big bad. Especially since I need zero explanation. Got all the rationale built in right here *taps head*. Bobby! Oh god! And Rufus! This episode needs no more. ”Not it!” And a losing game of rock-paper-scissors. Lol. ”How messed up is our lives that you seeing a vision of me dead, is actually kind of comforting?” True.

11:17 Red meat - Yeah I get it, this is a good episode- tight and terrifying, and Sam is one badass motherfucker, but Dean! Going straight for the dealmaking w/o even making sure Sam’s dead. That is hilarious. ”He was just mostly dead.” Dying!

11:19 The chitters - I like this, mostly because I have no idea what’s going on. Partly because of the reference to It. Because of the gay hunters. The brothers being funny w each other. Monsters in the woods, my kinda shit.

Fail episodes in chronological order:

11:21 All in the family - Hey, god? You should probably be careful who you call a disappointment. Also, I’m laughing at how mismatched Dean and Amara are, and she’s so confused by his hesitation, it’s hilarious.

11:20 Don’t call me Shurley - Meta. Please tell me Chuck isn’t actually god. Fine. Chuck is god. God is Chuck. Guess that explains him being so useless. Goodness! When did Metatron become one of the good guys?

Honorable mentions:

The witch in Love hurts - I like her.

Oh brother where art thou is mostly main plotline. Yawn. Bring back Sully! But Lucifer appearing in the cage - *chills* And Rowena having her fangirl moments is pretty funny.

Lucifer and Crowley measuring up, power, sass- and it’s awesome!

Teenage!Lucifer is a it of fun. The brothers co-counselling God and Lucifer, lovely.

Things that makes you go hmm:

The fact that Lucifer needs consent from other angels to possess them, I would’ve thought it a bit more interesting if he didn’t. It would make an interesting point about free will and the lack of it, and it would spare Cass from looking stupid.

Didn’t Sam kill the Darkness sickness with fire in like the first episode? Why doesn’t he do that in Don’t call me Shurley?

Summing up:

Darnit I am enjoying this season. It’s frickin comforting. But the finale is a bit of a let down, and I’m never anything but annoyed with Amara. But then again, kudos for having a finale w some kind of peaceful sollution .

[alkalinerock]

50 questions air

thank you @kisamas i love talking about myself

1. What takes up too much of your time? im double fisting ffxiv and three houses rn im swear im gonna beat nier one day and i recently got bloodstained so i might fuck around with that :)

2. What makes your day better? eating something tasty and then im happy :) i also like it when i talk w/ the pals makes me feel good

3. What’s the best thing that happened to you today? I am thinking about making mashed potatos i will i promise and it will b the best thing today

4. What fictional place would you like to go to? if i could visit some ffxiv maps like crystarium would b cool. n like, id visit inkopolis (i wanna b squiddo) and ryme city would be dope as hell would love a shinx buddy

5. Are you good at giving advice? i feel like i am but i feel like i still have so much more to learn about imparting wisdom. i was thinking about this the other night n as funny as this sounds i heard a lot of good advice on tumblr. mainly realizing how simple but important the small things are. “i’m proud of you” or “you did really well”. and i like giving advice i think it makes people feel less alone when theyre dealing with situations. if nothing else thats what i want to accomplish

6. Do you have a mental illness? idk i feel like i do but i never officially got diagnosed we got no health insurance. a lot of ppl tell me that im depressed and i think i believe it too but i always tell them im gonna remain impartial about it until i (finally) get a chance to talk to a profreshinal 

7. Have you ever experienced sleep paralysis? ya a few years ago after class id take like, a nap daily. and most of the times i wake up unable 2 move. sometimes im in like, a bad position where my face is a little too close to my pillow and its hard to breathe. i havent gotten it in a while but it sure does stink. 

8. What musician inspires you the most? i dont think any musician INSPIRES me but octopath’s composer yasunori nishiki really makes me wanna be like “quit your job join my octopath band” 

9. Have you ever fallen in love? yeah it rocked but things didnt always work out but i learned a lot in the end 

10. What’s your dream date? never rly thought about this kinda stuff i dont really fantasize about my ideal date. i think the best things in life happen spontaneously. i think. 

11. What do others notice about you? i like 2 talk about myself and that im cute and smart funny and handsome and my meat is huge :) 

12. What’s an annoying habit you have? i play a lot of osu!taiko so i have this finger tapping habit and a lot of like anxious tics like shaking my leg i bite my nails n whatever i do this n that a lot

13. Do you still talk to your first love? yea we’re like still best friends 

14. How many exes do you have? two too

15. How many songs are in your playlist? i have many playlists i have soundcloud playlists for like. anime music/future funk/game music/etc. my spotify playlists have like. hundreds of songs. my youtube playlist also have like. hundreds of songs. some things i listen to on a daily basis i havent even saved so it just keeps growing. 

16. What instruments can you play? i used to b able to play geetar, piano, clarinent but ive forgotten everything since

17. What do you have the most pictures of? animals n other stuff

18. Where would you like to go before you die? oh wow uhhh like. i have general locations but nothing specific. it’d be nice to visit japan and see korea (finally) n then like new zealand. i know it doesnt sound exciting but i’d be happy to be anywhere. 

19. What’s your zodiac? tavros

20. Do you relate to it? sometimes but i take astrology with a grain of sand anyways 

21. What is happiness to you? chillin

22. Are you going through anything right now? tryin 2 get a job. get my AA. 

23. What’s the worst decision you ever made? hmmm i have made many bad decisions but nothing stands on top as my worst. i think anything that falls under the category of “mistreating my friends because of my short-sightedness” is considered the worst. 

24. What’s your favorite store? food stores 

25. What’s your opinion about abortion? pro

26. Do you keep a bucket list? nop

27. Do you have a favorite album? no lol

28. What do you want for your birthday? uhm. better earphones?

29. What are people’s first impressions of you? im silly maybe

30. What age do you seem according to most people? a little younger than i am. 

31. Where do you keep your phone while you’re sleeping? on the dresser next to my bed or like. on my bed next to me in a safe corner 

32. What word do you say the most? idk maybe like. epic. or. legit. or fuck. 

33. What’s the oldest age you would date? i donno lol maybe like. 1000. 

34. What’s the youngest you would date? my age and above lol wtf 

35. What job/career do most people say would suit you? any job that requires, like, talking. on two occasions ive heard ppl say that i have a voice suited for customer service (like, ehh?? i just talk politely lol) but like. counseling too i guess. 

36. What’s your favorite music genre? most genres but lately ive been listening to anime op/eds and bideo game music and bandori songs and like. brockhampton or like. outrun. this n that.

37. If you could live in any country in the world, where would it be? i donno... i don really think about this stuff 

38. What is your current favorite song? fire bird by roselia (lol)

39. How long have you had this blog for? for a while idr how long maybe like. 5 yrs

40. What are you excited for? these maybe mashed potatoes im gonna make LOL

41. Are you a better talker or listener? i think im both. i prefer to listen and i think depending on my conversation partner i think listening is more important 

42. What was the last productive thing you did? i got out of bed brushed my teeth and got something to drink. i know its not much but ive really been makin an effort to improve my....””””mornings””””. ive been waking up at like 1-2pm these days so the least i could do is get my day started right

43. What do you want for Christmas? something rly good to eat!!

44. What class do you get the best grades in? i dont look at my grades LMAO i do like. OK on most of my classes but somtimes i make an oopsie whoopsie and lose a lot of points becuase im forgetful and stupid

45. On a scale of 1-10, how are you feeling right now? like. 7. 10 being like, i just ate something really great and im chillin w/ the homies. im 7 becase i ate something sorta tasty and im chillin but no homies. n im thinkin about the mash potatoe im going to maybe make

46. What can you see yourself doing in ten years? uhm. maybe teaching? doing something like, being sillay with my pals. i dont think about the future i just kinda just. Do.

47. When did you get your first heartbreak? never rly the breakups were my responsibility becos i was mentally immature so i tend to like, think about what i did wrong. 

48. What age do you want to get married? ahh im not rly thinking about this but itd be nice to have a gf first LOL these future oriented questions be like. “idk!”

49. What career did you want to have as a child? yuusha

50. What do you crave right now? despite what ive been saying about thos mash potatoes i really want like. a good burger or somethin. i just wanna eat something free and tasty!!

@gurmza @learnosaurusrex @advancewars2 do it and please read over my answers very carefully i will test you on this on discord without warning 

[rxcusant]

wow hey more peopled liked my hoshimeguri sora sketch than i thought so

Hey, who wants some context!!! and further rambling of the au!!! its all about traveling the stars and theres a dragon and everyone has beautiful designs and my faceclaim is an assassin in it

[its a little long tho because of the Lore (TM) so uh. fair warning]

Hoshimeguri, or Star Tour Observer, was an original event and storyline in IDOLiSH7 like 4 months ago? I think? anyway if you wanna get a little glimpse over everyone and the stars you can go right here but otherwise im gonna quick run thru everything cause i rly love hoshimegu (the PV is gonna pop up first you can either watch it and rock out to Hoshikuzu Magic or click out and skim thru everything)

the prologue for hoshimeguri is, as roughly translated,

in the beginning a myriad of stars crystallized into a form known as the ‘Star Gem’. The gem contained the power to grant any wish. People prayed to the Star Gem for blessings and obtained joy and fulfillment in their lives. People prayed to the Star Gem for evil purposes and brought about calamities. People grew covetous of the star Gem, breeding hate and resentment. The Star Gem that had granted millions of blessings had instead become a vessel for millions of curses. the Guardian of the Star Gem prayed for the Star Gem to be sealed away. The wish was granted the Guardian fell into eternal slumber. The Star Gem could no longer hold its form and split into six pieces. A single massive planet split into six with it. On the verge of sleep the Guardian created a being to oversee the worlds in his place. To journey across the stars, watching. the ‘Observer of the Stars’ bore witness to countless moments, countless stars, and countless lives.

so.. in less fancy speak, there was a Star Gem that granted wishes but people misused it’s power for Bad Stuff. the Gem’s Guardian sealed it away and the Star Gem split into six little gems-- and created the six worlds i’m about to explain-- and the Guardian pulled a ventus and fell asleep, but the last thing he did was make a cool dragon to observe and watch over life.

so this brings us to the six planets/worlds/stars one thousand years later!

First off-- Eterno! aka where I shoved Sora and Riku, ill expand on them later

Eterno is a desert star, covered in sand and sunlight. the planet Alba once waged war with Eterno to steal their sunlight a dozen years ago and drained the planet of its resources in the process. During the war the royal family disappeared so Eterno doesn’t have any ruler or security. Being a wasteland Eterno is considered a worthless star so nobody bothers or troubles it beyond some trading at the port.

Secondly we have Bestia!

Bestia is covered in dense forests and jungle, inhabited by several types of animals. The people of Bestia have beast blood and animal parts like ears and tails so this is basically the furry planet. the people of Bestia are looked down upon for this though. Bestia is home to a large trading port and many from starts all over come to trade in Bestian goods.

Next is Alba!

Alba is a star covered in darkness as the other planets block the sun’s ray from reaching them. Alba's main specialty is minerals and so bright crystals are their symbol. the former king invaded Eterno to steal their sunlight however the current king, Carnelian, regrets that war and would like to set things right between the stars.

Then we have Lama, the star of steel! i love Lama, two of my favorites are from this star!!!!!

Lama is a star with strong military power, easily overcoming the other stars in terms of strength. Lama is currently recovering from a long civil war between the former king and the people. The former king treasured military might and soldiers above all else-- in particular, those that could provide weapons for warfare. Anyone who couldn’t was subject to a life of poverty and servitude. Eventually the people rebelled an the civil war raged on for years. the prince at the time, Orion, with the help of an assassin, Erin, faked an assassination of the king (instead locking him up) and when the news reaches the rebel forces they called off their forces. The rebels had no issue with Orion becoming king since he carried out the assassin order and thus Orions peaceful reign as King began, working to rebuild relations between the people of Lama and the royal family.

next up is Sirenia! this is where i put Kairi, ill expand on that later.

Sirenia is blessed with water and canals everywhere. Every year they hold a festival to celebrate the rainy season. The people of Sirenia are relaxed and laid back because their star hasn’t been attacked or invaded in many years (with the former king using most of his power to essentially cut off Sirenia from the other stars with a magic wall, and trading was regulated). The residents love the arts and music and living life freely and creatively. The residents also practice in hydromancy, using water to predict the future and learning tarot cards and fortune telling.

Lastly is Mistero which i admittedly remember the least about

Mistero is a mysterious star but faith in the Star Gem is strong. There exists a large temple on the star however divine energy prevents people from entering. Mistero was the original planet before the planet and Star Gem split into six pieces. Its on this world that the Guardian, Vega, still sleeps. His attendant, Capella, still waits for him to wake.

aaaaaaand those are the stars! oh my god that took an hour to type. WELL SINCE THIS IS ALREADY REALLY LONG WINDED I’LL TRY TO KEEP THE AU WITH SORA AND RIKU AND KAIRI BRIEF EVEN THO IM SURE THATS WHAT YOU’D BE HERE FOR INSTEAD OF IDOL JUNK djfgnks

i dont have anything concrete but my current concepts are-

Sora and Riku grew up on Eterno together. Having known about the existence of other stars but always being too young to travel themselves the two decided one day to leave and explore them all together. Eventually the day came where the two of them snuck onto a ship, not entirely sure where it was headed. Once the ship docked on Sirenia Sora and Riku made a break for it, not wanting to be discovered as stowaways. 

Kairi lives a carefree life on Sirenia with her friend Namine and instructor Aqua. Aqua teaches the girls hydromancy altho Namine holds more of an interest in drawing and painting. Kairi however is extremely skilled in hydromancy and one day receives a sign about dual forces about to enter her life. She doesnt know what to make of the vague message tho and puts it to the back of her mind for a week maybe.

And then came the day she ran into Sora and Riku. the two of them stuck out like a sore thumb in their Eterno attire. Kairi warned them about how trade and visitors are carefully regulated and any intruders aren’t to be taken lightly. the boys apologize and explain they just wanted to explore some new worlds. Its with that Kairi agreed to help them out but only if they let her come with them, since life in Sirenia while carefree can get dreadfully dull doing the same thing over and over again. Kairi arranges passage under the guise of aiding other stars with her fortune telling and sneaks Sora and Riku onto her ship. 

And thats how the three of them began their own Star Tours ha cha cha

also side note i bet Vanitas and Ventus are brothers from Lama raised by xehanort to be soldiers in Lama’s military but neither of them are really Cool with this idea and probably just take off one day jdfhgkjf dont ask me what terra or xion and roxas and axel are doing because i have NO IDEA what star to put them on

yeah. thats the hoshimeguri au right now. //jazz hands; if you made it this far thank you for indulging me i owe you my life

[linos-teeth]

i got tagged

in the 50 questions and the about me tag by @chngbok ty browse!! these are a lot of questions and idk who i want to bother with them (unless you wanna be bothered then consider yourself tagged) but in case you wanna know some random stuff abt me there’s a lot of that under the cut!

what takes too much of your time?

currently, fic writing for sure

what makes your day better?

uhhh ideas, music, skz (except lino bc he literally just makes me cry)

what is the best thing that happened to you today?

lino in the victory song dance practice? (wow there's a theme already)

what fictional place would you like to go to?

hmmmmm the arbor wilds, the crossroads, the forge, h-047c, watford

are you good at giving advice?

nah

do you have any mental illness?

uhhhh not theoretically (as in not diagnosed oops)

have you ever experienced sleep paralysis?

luckily not

what musician inspired you the most?

boy i rly can't say, usually it's writers or games that inspire me and music not so much?

have you fallen in love?

most likely yeah

what’s your dream date?

idk man surprise me like...going out exploring and doing things i haven't done before that don't include any drugs or stuff also movies are good

what do others notice about you?

my hair (it's long)

what is an annoying habit that you have?

biting my uh...the skin next to my nails? and my lips? i guess?

do you still talk to your first love?

ha nah

how many ex’s do you have?

zero

how many songs are in your playlist?

i have 685 deezer faves

what instruments do you play?

piano, idk if recorder counts, used to play the oboe but...not any more

who do you have the most pictures of?

myself XD, my da/me chars, also random idol pictures for reaction memes

where would you like to go before you die?

uhhhhh a lot of places like...there's a lot of cities in europe i still wanna see and i wanna go back to paris and london and i also would love to visit like 294503 national parks in the us also maybe a desert (bc stars) and somewhere far north (for northern lights)

what’s your zodiac?

scorpio

do you relate to it?

nope

what is happiness to you?

just like...a content feeling? like...idk words for it but when you just stop and go like fuck this is rly good i'm rly comfy rn and not sad??? like just being good in your own skin?

are you going through anything right now?

not more than usual

what’s the worst decision you’ve ever made?

i made a few sucky time management decision throughout my uni time and still am so i guess that

what’s your favorite store?

what's a store

what’s your opinion on abortion?

i don't rly think i get to say much abt it while i'm not in a position where i can talk yknow? you should be allowed to but i imagine it's tough as shit too

do you keep a bucket list?

nah

do you have a favorite album?

A FEW there's wildness by snow patrol and mania by fob and wild world by bastille and miroh (that's currently tho that shit changes a lot)

what do you want for your birthday?

my birthday isn't happening for a while and what i want i kinda need before so xD for my birthday i wish i could be with my family but i won't be able to :/

what are most people’s first impression of you?

uhhhhh awk i guess which is right, also rly smart and like...organised which is wrong

what age to you seem according to most people?

apparently like 16, i always get asked when i finish school

where do you keep your phone while sleeping?

on my bed next to my pillow, stuffed under some plushies

what word do you say the most?

idk honestly i don't talk much probably some expletive

what’s the oldest age would you date?

idk man i'm not rly attracted to ppl much older than me never have been if it ever happened they'd prolly be like 2 years younger oops that's like the norm with crushes

what’s the youngest age would you date?

oh uh see above i guess like...currently i'm 23 so like? not younger than 20?

what job/career do most people say sould suit you?

they don't rly say anything abt that xD

what’s your favorite music genre?

uhhh rock? alt stuff? i love some folk and some pop too and i'm a slut for lofi

if you would live in any country in the world, where would it be?

here tbh

what’s your current favorite song?

u h h probably still chronosaurus! doesn't look like it's leaving that spot any time soon oops

how long have you have this blog for?

a bit over a month now?

what are you excited for?

how pathetic is it if i say my summer course? idk just...smth new i guess i'm looking forward to it (not to being away from games and photoshop)

are you a better talker or a listener?

listener

what is the last productive thing you did?

i finished vacuuming the house today

what do you want for Christmas?

s h r u g

what classes do you get the best grades in?

language stuff, music

on a scale of 1-10 how are you feeling right now?

a 4? maybe?

what can you see yourself doing in 10 years?

idk man i wanna go into speech therapy so?? that? or research even? but i gotta get into the masters first rip

when did you first get your heartbreak?

oh dear. probably like...in kindergarten when my crush was an absolute ass (so far, 80% of them have been there's a theme) i was pathetic

at what age do you want to get married?

idk man i guess in like 100 years when someone finally decides they rly want to put up with this mess

what career did you want to have as a child?

florist, author, actress

what do you crave right now?

hugs? and drawing skill

1. How tall are you?

i'm jisung-sized

2. What color are your eyes?

hazel

3. What color and style is your hair?

uhhhh dark blonde would be the accurate desc prolly? it's like...blondebrowngoldish and too long and i usually braid it and i have a super messy fringe

4. Do you wear glasses?

no

5. Do you have braces?

luckily not!

6. What’s your fashion sense?

casual and basic with a dash of experimental and sometimes a bit cutesy

7. Full name?

8. When were you born?

long, long ago, too long ago

9. Where are you from and where do you live

germany!

10. What school(s) do you go to?

no more school for me, i'm going to university

11. What kind of student are you?

the one that kinda gets by far too well for procrastinating so badly (all i have to say in my defense is that i'm anxious as shit abt everything)

12. Do you like school?

i used to!! like...the last 3 and first 3 years were chill

13. Fav subject?

music, history, english, latin

14. Fav TV shows?

i rly only watch b99 but i would be careful calling it my favorite since like...3 eps ago

15. Fav books?

my current fave is less by andrew sean greer (aka it was my fave last autumn and i've read like 3 since and they weren't super great)

16. Fav pastimes?

uhhh writing gaming music and lately, giffing too!

17. Do you have any regrets?

a couple

18. Dream job?

i mean i do still wish i could just like...do smth artsy like be an author or an illustrator but i'm bad at writing and literally cannot draw at all so

19. Would you ever like to be married?

yes absolutely

20. Would you like to have children?

kinda yeah?

21. If so, how many?

2

22. Do you like shopping?

only for a limited amount of time

23. What countries have you visited?

denmark, norway, france, the uk, spain, italy, austria, slovakia, we also drove through switzerland like twice

24. Scariest nightmare you’ve ever had?

uhhhhhh basically all of the end of the world/war scenario dreams i've had?

25. Any enemies?

does myself count

26. Do you have a significant other?

nah

27. Do you get along with your family?

yeah? we're not super close but we don't hate each other

28. Do you believe in miracles?

I BELIEVE IN MIRACLES WHERE YA FROM YOU SEXY THING no but rly i do

29. How are you?

not terrible

[thatsmeintheworld]

Yesterday my coworker was like wow u rly live under a rock huh bc she's always making references to things I don't get but I bet on my life she wouldn't have been able to guess birdo/Diddy Kong supermega vid without audio. I bet she wouldn't even know about autism creature coca cola und fortnite....maybe she's just not looking under the right rocks

[shuaberriez]

aww nooo i'm sorry to hear ;-; i'm glad your social energy is back now! i've been a bit busy but still doing okay 😅 i love that drunk chaotic hoshi sealed the deal for you 😩 haha i started listening to more of txt's discography after looking up angel or devil (bc honestly i only ever heard their title tracks before you mentioned angel or devil sgukejs) and they did not disappoint~ - secret carat 🎁 1/7

HMM for onewe, i got into them bc of produce 101 s2. one of the members was a contestant there - he didn't get too far but he def made an impression on me and that's when i found out he was already in a band! btob, i think 'wow' was in my yt recs when it first came out and i took a listen and was hooked. for golden child and verivery, i actually got into them bc of road to kingdom! my friend loves tbz and she asked me to watch rtk with her, but i ended up stanning golcha and verivery - sc 🎁 2/7

sgehilsk day6 is a bit of a longer story bc someone i knew in uni tried to promo them after she said 'neighbour brian debuted in a band under jyp' so i got curious and looked them up and here we are now shigelks - secret carat 🎁 3/7

LOL i love watching crack video edits of groups 😭 it almost ropes me into stanning them shigeks esp skz bc they're so effortlessly funny 😭 ahh ryujin is so cool ur absolutely right 😩 she's a great performer!! really exudes powerful stage presence!ooh txt pre-debut!! they've come so far, i'm sure you must feel proud of their accomplishments 🥺 were they as chaotic pre-debut as they are now? LOL omg jaemin, as much as i love him he needs to be stopped sometimes 😩🖐 hsilkeghs - sc 🎁 4/7

IM YELLING AT THE GONE THRU 20 DIVORCES AND 6 LAWSUITS IF THAT AIN'T WOOZI. feels like mans lived thru 5 lifetimes that all ended in heartbreak. i think 'fear' and 'good to me' both fall under fave genre(s) and songs for me! they rly hit hard WEW as for fave mv, it would probably be mansae bc it was the first mv of theirs that i watched! hbu!! were ur top songs for spotify wrapped ur fave svt songs? 👀 or!! were there other svt songs that didn't make the list that u love!! - secret carat 🎁 5/7

i miss the student discount for spotify shigelks haha i was kinda hoping i would get a svt song from the numbers i listed - like it's bingo shisgejlks but 2 skzs i will take. also wow anti romantic almost made ur top 5!! - secret carat 🎁 6/7

oH that's a tough q hmmm maybe like... pop/rock? LOL and if i could go anywhere in the world rn, i probably wanna go to germany, simply to visit my cousin whom i haven't seen in years! what about you? and also pls don't worry about replying late or anything~ take your time 🥰 i hope you have a relaxing weekend! - secret carat 🎁 7/7

hiiiiiiiiiii it is... ish. it disappeared during the week but it's back and hopefully here to stay!! i've been really busy too so i getchu <3 don't even worry about it hehe <3 omg!!! which ones have you liked so far? tbh i'm more of a casual stan with txt in comparison to how i am with svt </3 i do want to gif for them more but maybe when i have time ksfjdsfn

OHHH PRODUCE 101 :OOOO honestly i admire you for watching those shows </3 my heart can't handle the whole eliminating process. esp when you see how hard all of them work. who's your bias in onewe and why :o OHHHH btob <33 i loved their interactions with skz!! they seem like such chaotic and nice people jasnfsj <3 also who's your bias in btob and why hehe <3 AND RTK ajkfsjfns again, i couldn't watch it and stayed off twt for all of that but that's super cool that you got into golcha and verivery!! i think i only know of verivery from one of the songs they did for extraordinary you? and golcha because of the 00s collabs <3 but i'd love to know more about them <3

NEIGHBOUR BRIAN PLSIJJASDKNSDKJN honestly they're so chaotic so valid <3 i think i got into day6 bc of the whole drum and dowoon thing :sob:

I HONESTLY THINK CRACK VIDEOS ARE THE ONLY WAY I GET FULLY INTO GROUPS OMG </3 is this why i stan chaotic groups :woman_standing: ryujin always impresses me. literally whenever i see an itzy performance i'm so taken aback. idk if you saw their performance at the mamas but... yeah 👀 i think txt have achieved so much and i'm so proud of them for that bc they've definitely grown as artists <3 honestly... they were pretty chaotic predebut? like i just think that chaos has emulsified as time has gone on :sob: JAEMIN IS SO CHAOTIC ASJSJKFNS like you never know when he'll be chaotic. he's my favourite introvert <3

JSDHNDJS I THINK I SAW THAT ON TWT AND IT'S STAYED IN MY MIND EVER SINCE BC HE REALLY DOES SING LIKE THAT </3 EXACTLY ASJKFSN FIVE LIFETIMES </3 OHHHH fear and good for u i see i see. very valid hehe <3 have to say my favourite part of fear are jihan's (I AM A SIMP AND WBK </3 looks away at my 17daysofshua posts :spiral:) MANSAE!!!!!! that's such a nice mv omg <3 and i love the song a lot hehe <3 i think my favourite is fallin' flower! and this may just be the gif maker in me speaking out but it's really fun to colour, and the aesthetic ALWAYS leaves me in awe <3 fear is also really cool <33 i don't think my top svt songs were in the top of my spotify wrapped besides same x3 <3 i'd say my top 5 svt songs would have to be (and i can't list these in order bc i adore all of them):

- ah! love

- falling for u

- 247

- second life

- lie again

it might be bc a lot of my top songs were seventeen aksjdksfnk but yes skz! they were my top artists for last year bc i was on a break from svt but i'm glad they were at least 2nd this year! and yes anti romantic!! i listened to a lot when studying this year kskfkfsjdk i'm embarrassed that my brainrot songs were top though </3

OOOOOHHHH pop rock!!! that's so cool!! i don't know you too well but i could see that teehee <3 i've been told by my friends that i'm jazz/classical and idk what to think of that aisdkjfsdjk one of my friends said basic pop and i almost fought them ksjfkfsdn. and germany!!!! that's so cool omg <3 i really want to go to europe honestly jsfkfdsj i think i'd like to go to japan rn bc i'm really craving ramen and they have 24 hour ramen places there KJSDJKNFDSKJ as for who i'd take, i'd probably take my best friend ^^

my next obscure question for you is which seventeen member do you think you identify with the most <3

i hope you're having a great week!!

[percywinchester27]

wow hear that? it’s not me shitting, it’s my tears falling down my face (lmao anyone who hasn’t seen any of my asks is rly gonna think that was wild) damn man i know that you spent so long writing it and it truly was beautiful the slight fear and confusion and i’m not sure how to explain this but it gave me a wavy feeling???? it was gorgeous and i’m in love with you

I’m sure EVERYONE has seen your asks. Folks who haven’t, have been living under a rock for the last couple of months if they don’t know you, Nonnie!

Ahahahaaa... Wavy is exactly what I aimed for tbh ;)

THANK YOU, you cute little nugget!! But you’re in love with me NOW?? I’ve been in love with you FOREVER!

Tic Tac Toe

[chaekkung]

same 20yo from last night, should I sign off as cassiopeia here too ajcbsks (/-\) but omg all this cali talk I too live in cali and its rly not all that its cracked up to be plus its always half on fire ajcnskx it is convenient to walk/uber/lyft instead of drive but I rlly cant wait to leave, like chahakyn said its rlly expensive and Im such a wilderness person and the closest thing I get to wilderness in san diego is the many golf courses which conveniently there r so many near my house cjsdkw

ooo hi !!! i see u messaging amy a lot ur so cute :( and omgjghfjd it’s like everyone who lives in cali is like nah... it’s not good here,, but people from outside are like !!!! cali !!!! 11/10 would live! but wow rlly im dumb i didnt know anything about the fires omg i literally live under a rock wtf,,, >:-( and even tho im a ‘city slicker’ i feel u about the wilderness thing like it’s been my dream to like... live in a nature-y place not like a whole ass farm/ranch but somewhere w a lot of green trees and fresh breezes and flowers and sunlight and clouds and at night u can see all the stars bc no pollution ... that’s rlly the dream :/

[beezlebubcustardbath]

Glee rewatch - There’s nothing ironic about show choir!

my first thoughts on the pilot under the cut. i’ll write everything in one post (sort of like live blogging) so i dont spam (like i just did w eurovision memes woops). 

oh man sue is funny from the first second

glee is one of the few shows that has a rly good pilot imo. usually pilots are long and nothing happens and you’re supposed to get to know the characters but u dont really. but glee shows like 10 seconds of interaction between kurt, puck and finn (and shue) and its pretty spot on and tells u exactly who those characters are (early in the show obviously) 

also i love how this episode is directed. at the time it was so different than anything on tv i feel like. most tv shows (especially about high school kids) were rly similar. but here u have this satire feel and the choir humming in the background all the time instead of normal music and the creepy ass hilarious characters. 

the guy singing ‘where is love’ now reminds me of darren singing ‘where is love’

emma is so sassy lol “since when are cheerleaders performers?”

“your resentment is delicious”

wow i forgot how weird that ken character was

tina’s ‘i kissed a girl’ - iconic

“my gold star is a metaphor for me being a star!”

“please get sterilised” aw poor rachel. the early days of cyber bullying

wow so much has happened in the first 8 minutes

i actually quite like ‘sit down you’re rocking the goat’ (i mean boat)

“theres nothing ironic about show choir!”

“you’re sloppy babies! how do you feel being the weak link kid?” oh sue

“there are many drunks in this town” figgins always cracks me up

sheets and things

wow terri was the most annoying crazy character ever holy moly

sandy is such a hilarious character too omfg. medical marijuana 

its so obvious this show was meant for an older audience at first and changed to a kids show in season 3

sounds like the warblers singing when i get you alone in the background (in that scene w emma stepping in gum)

mr shue lurking in the shower lol

“youre the one that i want” - iconic performance 

“oh hell to the naw!” 

this vocal adrenaline performance obviously isn’t the best of the series but its the first real glee performance and its pretty amazing. also their faces after 

“chicks dont have prostates! i looked it up“

damn those kids certainly got a lot hotter during those 6 seasons

finn helping artie - iconic glee moment

“i’ve been doing them since preschool!” rachel is annoying and great

and of course - “just a small town girl! living in a looonelyy woooorld!” 

ok i realised i have a lot more thoughts on this show so ill try to write another post with those. this is more like random stuff i thought was funny in the episode. 

[whx-m]

happy birthday ore!!!! I hope u have a great day n a great year! you're v kind and smart and helpful and it's always nice to see u on my dash (plus it was rly fun to meet u!!) anyway I'm rambling haha happy birthday!

omg thank you so much, that was a crazy moment in time... i basically lived in the woods for months and suddenly i was in a HUGE. city kinda wigging out from the stark change lol i remember looking at all the new cars in lots and thinking, wow ive been living under a rock cause even the cars look a little different. but it was so fun to meet you and hang! also you’re a goddess in my book for letting me take a shower and chill for a bit with you lol it was like heaven after such a killer bus ride. (now im the one rambling but THANK YOU for all sorts of things, ill always have a soft spot in my heart for you because you helped me so much when i really needed it!!)

[atlantias]

date #1 of 2017

last night, i went on the date with the 22 yr old teacher’s assistant i was contemplating about seeing earlier. i let him surprise me with what kind of restaurant we went to, and we went into the city to this expensive place that sold tapas (you order multiple small dishes??? im not rich i dont understand).

i showed up to his place 20 freakin minutes early n i was so embarrassed but it was okay lol i learned his parents are divorced too n we had a cute lil randomly deep discussion about their toxicity as humans in relationships lmao

on the way to the restaurant he asked me about music n i was like thank god finally a man who doesn’t make me listen to old school rock n roll claiming it’s the best music n all other music is trash!! we listened to alt-j and kendrick lamar 

anyways im so bad at first impressions n im not good at dates if i really respect the person and am kinda intimidated by them lmao....but it wasn’t bad, like i kinda doggy paddled my way through conversation (this is my metaphor for how anxious me deals with stressful situations like first dates). 

so he wasn’t even carded (he said he usually is lol) and he ordered me a red wine n i was like damn im 19 n feel fucking 30 and super cosmopolitan rn. the food was good but like when i eat food i dont enjoy u can def tell it on my face so at one point he got me to eat fancy expensive mushrooms and i was just like sorry dude the texture is grody but he laughed and thought it was funny lol. he paid for the meal! the first time in so long since a boy paid for my dinner (my ex never paid lol we always split it or i would treat him)

i realized i have a bad habit of asking people about themselves n being super invested in their lives n interests but im not good at talking about mine and am kinda super private....like im bad at storytelling idk help 

sidenote i looked so cute, i was wearing my new black off the shoulder top n my fav hoops n no bra and i was like hell yeah this is my final form 

anyways fast forward to going back to his house, i didnt anticipate i would be spending the night lol but we watched netflix in his basement. so it was weird bc like we sat side by side, shoulders touching n he kept my cold feet warm under his legs (he was startled by how cold my feet were, he was like “is there an ice pack under here? LOL), but he didn’t put his arm around me or hold my limp hand j chillin there....he’s super into movies n films and he was so engrossed in that 70s show that i kept looking off into the distance as if i was on the office LMAO OK SOMETIMES I DO THAT TO COPE

anyways after like the 4th fuckin episode he randomly turns my head with his hand n kisses me lol i dont rly remember the first kiss but i was like WOW he actually likes me???? 

he was a good kisser, i won’t lie, and he kept his eyes closed like the entire time it was cute (im the creepy one who sometimes opens my eyes just to see the person im kissing lol) and one thing led to another and we just ended up having sex right there on the couch as the laugh track of that 70s show played in the background (he turned it off eventually)

the last time i went on a date, i ended up moving too fast for the boy and he was kinda taken aback, so i was actually amazed that for once it wasn’t me jumping the other person’s bones

ugh my period randomly started too (ok im a lying bitch, i knew i was on my period but i thought i was just spotting...well mother nature pulled one over me) and i bled all over him and the couch and i was so embarrassed i genuinely teared up. he was so nice about it tho and tried comforting me and told me not to worry about it when i offered multiple times to clean it

i asked for an oversized t shirt n he gave me a tshirt with the 3 stooges on it lol. we talked a little bit on the floor about politics as the rain poured down outside and i was like wow this is kinda nice. 

we slept in his bed n i was cold n he spooned me a lil it was v nice. i got super insecure tho during the night n had a silent mental breakdown next to him but nbd. in the morning we cuddled a little n he took me to his fav bagel place n then we parted ways. he didn’t hug me or kiss me n i feel so awkward n sad but he texted me after apologizing that he didn’t do that! 

he actually wants to see me again, and i thought he was gna ghost me! 

summary n thoughts: i am so intimidated by him bc im a small sad 19 yr old girl who is confused about everything and he’s a 22 year old man soon-to-be-graduate student already writing his thesis... he doesn’t drink hard liquor anymore and he listens to 70s music and watches fucking quentin tarantino movies. i straight up feel so young compared to him, this might as well be lolita. my insecurities get the best of me n i feel so dumb and uninteresting when im around him, but he likes me i guess......not sure how it’s gonna be when we go back to our universities. but for now, im enjoying his company and the kindness he shows me.