#but wouldn’t that be confused with jacques x olivia??

[vpnero]

jacquelyn scieszka x olivia caliban + aesthetic

[singingaboutwishingx]

From Linen to Leather (Jacques Snicket x Olivia Caliban fic)

In the fifteen minutes since Olivia had met Jacques, she had learned more than she ever expected to know about VFD. The taxi had driven through the city, and Olivia now had no idea where they were, although it seemed trendy.

“So what are we going to do about the Quagmires and the Baudelaires?” Olivia inquired.

“Well, Olivia Caliban,” Jacques replied, “We are going to search 667 Dark Avenue from top to bottom, or rather, from bottom to top for the Quagmires. Some of my associates are keeping an eye on the Baudelaires, so they’ll be alright for the time being.” He glanced at her in the rearview mirror. “I don’t suppose you happen to have clothes suitable for scaling a building, would you?”

“Well, no. I don’t really keep any extra clothes on me, and I definitely don’t own anything like that.”

“We’ll have to buy you some, then. There’s a shop not far from here.”

“Alright.” She was terrified. Scaling a building? Olivia climbed ladders to reach the top shelf all the time, but standing parallel to the ground, a hundred feet above it was another. Then there was the matter of shopping for clothes with Jacques Snicket, a guy that she had just met, and who Olivia could quite honestly say was the single most attractive man she had ever met. Just being around him made her kind of giggly, though she hid it well (this was, of course, the same woman who could go from reading indecent literature to helping children without ever letting on that she was reading a book on anything sexier than horseradish). 

Jacques pulled up to a little shop, but all Olivia could see inside were pinstriped sundresses. Is this what he considers women’s climbing clothes? she thought, confused. Well, guess I don’t have to worry about crushing on him anymore.

“Come, Olivia Caliban. Let us get you some proper attire.”

Sure. Proper attire.

They stepped inside the shop. “Ah! Jacques!” the petite Puerto Rican girl behind the counter called. “What can I do for you today?”

“Well, Amy, I would like the Verified Finery Discount for my new associate, Olivia.”

“Absolutely,” she replied with a conspiratorial wink. “Olivia, honey, would you mind stepping over there for a moment? Hold your arms out, please.”

Olivia did so, baffled. Amy stepped out from behind the counter with a tape measure. She took several measurements in rapid succession against Olivia’s body. 

“Alright, I’ve got just the thing for you. Oh, and what size shoe do you wear? Also, how chunky do you like your heels?”

“Um, I wear sevens, and not stilettos but also not really thick.”

Amy beckoned for them to come with her into a back room. She flipped on the lights switch, and Olivia gasped. The room was filled with black leather clothes of all kinds: jackets, pants, boots, even hats and scarves. Her unkind thoughts towards Jacques Snicket vanished. 

Amy grabbed a jacket, a shirt (which, surprisingly, looked like it was made of normal fabric), pants, socks, and a gorgeous pair of heeled boots.

”Try these on, sweetie. Dressing rooms are right over there. And welcome to the biz.” She handed the clothes to Olivia with a friendly smile.

Olivia stepped into the little room to change. She’d seen a lot of weird stuff in the past three days, and this woman was no exception. Whatever else she was, though, she was incredibly gifted. The clothes fit like a dream, and weren’t stiff like most new leather.

She looked at herself in the mirror and was pleasantly surprised at how badass she looked. Maybe lose the glasses, though, she thought.

She stepped out and Jacques’ eyes widened involuntarily. He blinked to cover it up so she wouldn’t think he was staring, but she looked damn good. She’s a new recruit, Snicket, not a model. Get it together, he thought.

Amy clapped her hands, snapping him out of his head. “You look great! Everything comfortable?”

“Yes, everything fits quite well. Do you have a bathroom? I’d like to put in my contacts so my glasses don’t fall to the ground and shatter.”

Amy directed her to the bathroom, where she popped the lenses in her eyes and returned.

Jacques might have passed out if he hadn’t dug his nails into his palm to stabilize himself. The two women exited the back room, and he followed.

“Thank you, Amy,” Jacques said, handing her some money. 

“Not a problem! Have fun with whatever you needed those clothes for!”

Jacques and Olivia walked out of the shop, getting back in the car. “So who was that woman?” Olivia asked.

Jacques pulled out of the lot and set off for 667 Dark Avenue. “That was Amy Garcia. She provides clothing to VFD members around these parts. The sundress shop is just a cover, though she does get considerably good business.”

“Oh.”

The taxi was silent a moment. Neither quite knew what to say next. 

“Thank you, for the clothes,” Olivia said finally.

“It’s not a problem.” Oh, but it is. I am never going to get that image out of my brain; Olivia Caliban clad in leather is quite possibly the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen. “Now, Miss Caliban, shall we scale a building and search for some missing children?”

“We shall, Mr. Snicket.”

And with that, they were off.

Author’s Note: Sorry if it isn’t flirty enough and whatnot, but at this point I just didn’t think they were there yet, ya know? Anyway, thank you for reading, my loves!

Requested by Anon

[poeticandvaguelysweet]

after the storm has passed (a Jacques Snicket x Olivia Caliban fanfic)

Ok. Ok. Okay. I have so many assignments due next week it’s not funny but I cannot stop thinking about these two. 

I shouldn’t be doing this but -- if you have any prompts for this ship feel free to send them through and I’ll add them (when I have time) to ‘all our enemies have been defeated’. 

I just ask that you state it’s for ASOUE because I do take prompts for a different fandom and will get confused. 

AO3 

‘Would you hurry up?’ Olivia huffed, stopping in the middle of the sitting room, her arms filled with heavy books. The house was new and quickly filling with furniture but it wouldn’t be a home until books were on the shelves. She saw to that task herself but Jacques had insisted on helping … or rather, was spending his time watching her lift heavy stacks with unimaginable ease. ‘We cannot bring the children home until the house is complete and I am getting quite anxious without them.’ It had been a mix of maternal instinct and a good heart that left her worried. The children were safe. She knew it, Jacques had reassured it, they had all seen the fall of terrible evil with their own eyes and the paperwork was ready to be signed.

Mr Poe was handing over The Baudelaires and The Quagmires to Jacques Snicket and Olivia Caliban’s shared custody. The banker had warned with a cough and a wheeze that the children were trouble, misery and woe following their every step. He did not believe — or know — like they did that Olaf’s reign was over. Jacques didn’t expect much from the man who constantly misidentified the wrong man and had come days away from doing the same to Jac, sending him off to an unfortunate end.

It was going to be good to be rid of that man. Like breathing easy once a cold had finally fled one's sinuses.

‘Relax.’ Jacques offered, his hand slipping over the small of her back. ‘They’re with Jacquelyn.’ She seemed to settle. Not that it was new information. Olivia knew where the children were and why they were there. She and Jacques were due at the bank any time now to sign the appropriate paperwork that made the children their responsibility until each one turned eighteen and claimed what was rightfully theirs. For some, it was only a few more years. For Sunny, it would be a large portion of her life, if her siblings allowed her to stay in Olivia and Jacques care … which they were hoping Violet and Klaus would have no opposition to.

‘We’ll go pick them up as soon as you’re done here.’ Jacques reminded her, a kiss pressed to her cheek as she grinned, corner of her lip curling, unspoken challenge rising in the back of her mind.

Olivia hummed, giving him a curt nod and a wink as she threw a book over her shoulder, the title landing exactly where she wanted it to on the appropriate shelf. She did it to a second and a third, before tossing three books over her shoulder at once each one landing with a heavy thunk before settling perfectly in its new home. Jacques could only watch in admiration, something tingling across his skin as an absent-minded smile eased its way across his cheeks. It was a feeling he had only ever witnessed in his brother. A feeling he had often heard described but had never felt himself. It was contentment, admiration, devotion and love all at once setting his nerve endings on fire and fizzing out across his system.

‘I’m done.’ She told him, dusting off her hands before extending them beyond her body as if to tell the man to admire her handiwork. He already had been and wasn’t about to be the one to tell her there were several more boxes of books just begging to be unpacked before five children  (soon to be six, but that was a different matter he was assured his brother was sorting out) slipped into the halls and buried themselves amongst the books already available for perusal. For it was only fair to give one a wider range of options before expecting them to settle on a single story.

He didn’t stop her. Didn’t remind her of the other boxes. Only prattled off a small list of things they thought absolutely necessary for the children in their new home. New clothes. New notebooks and pencils. New toolboxes and magnifying glasses. New things to chew and chomp and warm blankets ready for the best nights sleep they had all had in a long time. Olivia nodded at each item, knowing they were presented at the end of each bed or tucked into brand new closets and writing desks.

She climbed into his cab, taking the place at the driver's wheel before she noted the nervous shake in her fingers, excitement and worry all rolled into one. Olivia was ready to bring the children home, ready to take on the responsibility of being guardian to six remarkable children all at once. It scared her. But what difference was being a librarian excited to encourage and engage than being a pseudo-parent? She was anxious too, worried that they would arrive at Mulctuary Money Management only to find the building gone or the children who were supposed to be inside of it, vanished. Terrible things were still likely to happen. She and Jacques had ended only one terrible plot master, but it didn’t feel likely that a second would arrive so quickly. She slipped across the seat, sliding into the passenger side as Jacques rounded the car and took the wheel.

The children were there, waiting as they should have been all five sets of eyes turning towards her and Jacques as they entered Mr Poe’s office. Each small face lit up with glee, thankful and warmed that their new caretakers had arrived unharmed. She saw their bodies sigh with relief as Violet got up from her chair to give Olivia a one-armed hug, Sunny on her other hip.

‘We have a lot of things to explain to you.’ Jacques told them, paperwork signed and Mr Poe bid farewell for the final time. They had four children sitting in the back of his cab while Olivia in the front held onto Sunny during their ride through the city. He watched them through the rearview mirror, catching their eager and impatient eyes. ‘And I promise, we’ll explain it all … tonight, when you’re settled. There’s no use rushing into things immediately.’ Jacques saw them deflate and wondered how many times the children had heard those words before their guardian was killed and their questions were left unanswered. ‘I promise’ He met eyes with each child in the mirror before he felt Olivia’s reassuring hand on his arm.

They looked disappointed and impatient, Klaus’ mouth poised open and ready to ask a question. It was Duncan who held him off, catching them all on a different train of thought with a quiet. ‘I almost thought we’d never see the city again.’

Olivia’s heart clenched, her whole body aching for the children who had seen too much pain since losing their parents. ‘Do you feel comfortable staying here?’ She asked. It had been their home, the place where they grew up, the libraries their parents took them to, the parks, Briony Beach. Violet and Isadora gave small nods while the boys sighed quiet acceptance. ‘We have a house just outside the city limits and within the zones for your old schools … if you would like to attend again.’ It was understandable if they didn’t. For The Baudelaire’s, in particular, their names had been flushed through The Daily Punctilio more times than they could count. It was unquestionable that all their peers would know their story by now. Regardless, Olivia had applied for a position in both the private libraries locked behind the school gates or the public one only few trolley stops away.

They were looking at her wide-eyed and teary when she turned her head towards their silence. Normalcy had been so long forgotten in the past several months that the children had completely forgotten about school and their friends. It was too much. She could see it written explicitly across their faces, their hearts scrunching down to crushed pieces of paper. How on earth could they return to that? Would it be safe? Had the world tilted its axis and would everything be marred by their time at Prufrock Preparatory School?

‘We can think about that another day!’ Olivia’s voice picked up, trying for cheery as she flashed the children with a big grin. ‘The schools are closed anyhow, it’s mid-year break. Probably better to homeschool you all until the new year. Might make it easier to start off with a fresh slate.’ They all nodded slowly, small smiles responding to Olivia’s warmth despite their shaking hearts.

They spoiled the children with takeout for supper. Wherein, neither Olivia or Jacques saw themselves as good cooks and rather were saving the children from that kind of torment. They were giddy like children were at their options of greasy Chinese that came from a questionable looking shop front but tasted divine eaten out of the carton on the floor belong to one of many sitting rooms. They hadn’t ventured much beyond that, the house still a mystery to the children as Olivia practically vibrated with a want to show them everything she had set up for their arrival. For now, they were happy to camp put on the rug beneath them, sharing food orders across several plates as Jacques did his best to documents the very beginning of the V.F.D. He lingered on moments involving their parents, unknown details coming to light as each child savoured bravery and ingenuity, all of them marvelling that their loved ones had kept this life a secret.

‘Our biggest threat was Olaf. I am sorry your parents had to pay the price for his greed.’ Their faces were sullen but hopeful, caught in juxtaposition as they tried to look forward while the grief of their parents, finally actualised and allowed to be felt, pressed down on their shoulders trying to hold them back despite their ability to keep on living for months before now.

‘Why don’t we all go make some hot chocolate and go to bed? You must all be so tired.’ Olivia offered them a kind smile, the look almost always plastered on her face as she stood and reached her hand out to the first child willing to take it.

Isadora stood and the others followed as Jacques kept up the back of their small group, Sunny sitting on his arm. ‘Are there any tunnels under this house?’ Violet asked.

‘Or useless elevator shafts?’ Duncan quivered.

Jacques chuckled, unable to help it as Olivia gave him a warning glare, his humour fading to seriousness. ‘We’re free of all those things. It’s a new life and a new beginning for all of us. There will be no more secrets, okay? V.F.D might still need us but that will be dealt with when the need arises.’ Five heads nodded. ‘Would you like to check for yourselves?’ He returned to the tunnels and hide-e-holes.

Klaus turned with intrigue. Happy for an opportunity to ensure his safety and that of his sisters as well as close friends’. ‘I think the children need to be going to bed.’ Olivia offered, already glowering like a disgruntled mother.

‘I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep unless I am sure.’ Duncan supplied, small shiver chasing across his skin as he stepped closer to his sister. In all fairness, they had been tucked away in ersatz elevators, red herrings and even fowl fountains. The children had a right to want to see with their own two eyes that they were safe.

‘After hot chocolate.’ She compromised, each child following like a duckling as they made their way to the kitchen, following small instruction as she asked for help in preparing such a large batch. Sunny squawked, her siblings filling in that the youngest of the newly Snicket-Caliban children knew just the recipe.