#but with his skills he could fake way more stuff (if we ignore the actual effect in the drama we just gonna believe it looked real)

[scarefox]

There is some sarcasm in this. Not by Jump but by the drama 🍵

makes you question why a journalist is so good at staging a whole murder scene with special effects in the video

#mediamanipulation 🤷‍♂️

[tmntxthings]

∑一 Loser ・゜・。

author’s note: again, this song just kinda sounded like Leo, nonchalant-yet-cares-way-too-much-than-you-actually-think, p.s. i totally wrote this without rereading some major mistakes are in there I’m sure… but we post anyways 😌 I’ll come back and fix things later

warnings: unedited, maybe one curse word, playboy!leo, aged-up, angst

word association: losing, failure, doubt, fake confidence, drunken day-dreams, falling, pining, realization, indifference, ignorance, obsession

song inspired: “ Roommates by Malcolm Todd ”

—————————————————————————

Leonardo was never really one to worry. As a ninja master he was confident in his skills, even more so than when he was a teenager if that was even fathomable. He had wit, he could think quickly on his feet, plans could be formed at a whim. So worry? Maybe if the Kraang decided to show their bubblegum pink faces again! But even then he was sure he could beat them, ya know since he has already done it before!

He was self assured and cocky. Ever since that one slip up he made sure he never had another reason to worry. He didn’t mess around when it came to missions. So afterwards when it was a success he could gloat and showboat all he pleased much to his brother’s aggravation. He never had to worry about admirers either. They were a sure thing. What can he say? All it takes is a little charisma and devilishly handsome looks! Plus he was hilarious and confident so winning anyone over with a sly wink and charming smile was easyyy. You had been too easy!

He ate it up. All the compliments and obvious blushes to his smooth flirting. It all just stroked that big ego of his. You hadn’t strayed either, all it took was a phone call and a portal over and you were putty in his hands. So maybe Leo had gotten a little careless, thinking you would always be there. To always be chasing after him. And if you wavered under the long absences and ignored messages it could be quickly resolved with a few placating “sorry’s” and distracting kisses.

But this time, it seemed you weren’t answering. It had been about three days now. One call from him each day. Usually he was met with enthusiasm and swoons when he called. You lapped up any attention he threw at you like his own little puppy. So after he listened to your voicemail for the third time he decided a little check-in was in order. He may have been worried about your safety. Maybe. But most likely Leo wondered if his little puppy was pouting again. Surely you couldn’t hold out if he saw you face to face. Leo smirked at the prospect of you playing hard to get only to crumble once he got your chin between his fingers, tilting that pretty face up to meet his own filled with smug finesse.

So when he portal-ed over to your place he was more than surprised to knock on the door and find someone else answer. “Uh, who’re you?” Leo said with an obvious disdainful one-over, raised brow bones and all. You never had people over. And if you did it was family or all the close friends he knew of. Never someone half decent to look at… not to say that this guy was even on the same level as Leo’s visuals. Definitely not.

He was met with a silent and confused stare. “Uhhhhh” taking in Leo’s mutant turtleness, like mutants hadn’t been out and about for years since the Kraang invasion. “Great question actually, who’re you???” The human stammered when he finally found his words. Leo was quickly losing interest here so he pushed past the human easily enough, and talked over his startled complaints, “Hey you can’t just—“

“Y/n? Where ya at princess?? Hiding from me?” He called out through the apartment. Surely this was a set up he thought as he walked to the kitchen and then to the hallway that led to your bedroom. Finding everything looking very very different. It had him slowing and taking in his surroundings more carefully. Where was your furniture?? Had you gotten a better job? All this stuff looked so new! “HEY!” The earlier human yelled, getting back in front of Leo and cutting him off to your room. “Listen buddy I think you’ve got the wrong house!” He said in warning. Leo couldn’t stop from snorting, this guy was even puffing up his chest! Did he really think he could take Leo on? Or were the twin odachis behind his shell not intimidating enough? “Look ‘buddy’” Leo air-quoted sarcastically, “I don’t know if you know this but me and Y/n are veryyy close. I’ve got the right place.”

“Y/n does not live here bro.”

“Oh now we’re resorting to lying?” Leo laughed out loud as his arms moved faster than this loser could blink. Quickly creating a portal behind his shell and stepping back into it, only to now be in…

Not Y/n’s room.

The pictures were gone. It wasn’t as cutesy anymore. No traces of his things. No traces of you either! Leo’s nostrils flared as that sinking feeling of worry settled firmly in his chest. What the fuck was going on? Your smell. It was no longer here. Why had that taken him so long to realize?? He turned and opened the door, finding the boring human looking wildly around the hallway at his disappearance. “Where’re they?” His tone was more serious now.

It seemed the stranger hadn’t heard the door open because he leaped up in fright. “Jesus fucking chr—“

Leo’s head ticked to the side and brought out a sword once more. His patience wearing thin as well as his worry. It was a suffocating feeling that only reminded himself of ‘the mistake’ all those years ago. With the silence hanging over them now that one sword was out to play, Leo said, “Answer, the fucking question.” Quite plainly. The stranger’s eyes had turned wide and fearful, frozen in place and only started stammering when Leo’s blade neared closer.

“I don’t even know a Y/n man!!” The guy was shaking but that wasn’t really the answer Leo was looking for. In fact that gave him nothing but more questions. “They lived here. In this apartment. It’s only been…”

Leo thought back to the last time he was over… it couldn’t have been more than a month..or two… Irritation rising, Leo admitted, “like a month or so!” That was all it took for the shaking to stop. In fact the dude even had the audacity to laugh. “Close huh? Well I moved in here around two and a half months ago. Guess they didn’t tell you about that!”

Surely you wouldn’t… why would you not have told him something like that!? This guy was lying. But what had you last said to him??? Was it something important? Something like this?? He had to wine and dine you then, had you been really angry? He vaguely remembered the whole meeting being a fight in the beginning. But as always he had softened you up. “Maybe they’re more upset than I thought..” Leo murmured more to himself than the block of a person in front of him. But it spoke up anyway, “Can you get out of my house now??”

“Where’d they go?” Leo’s eyes narrowed in question not moving an inch. “Man I don’t know! I’m just renting this place” He shrugged, rolling his eyes. “Right, thanks for the help.” Leo grumped and then had a sudden thought. His eyes gleaming wickedly as he brought out both swords menacingly. “Uh wait, I’m serious I don’t know anything dude! Please!” He spoke faster and faster backing up as Leo approached and then lunged forward.

He flinched, closing his eyes and missing Leo portal out of there. Standing with bated breath only to slowly open his eyes and see no one in his apartment now. He went to sleep with one eye open that night.

Leo on the other hand was now on the roof, phone in hand as he scoured social medias for any clue of your whereabouts. Sure enough, you had pictures of moving out. Big smiles and sweaty foreheads from you and your friends in silly pictures with your couch moved down all those flights of stairs. Absentmindedly he wondered why you hadn’t asked for his help, one portal would’ve been simple enough. Hmph. Something was up!

He couldn’t figure out where your new place was now just from random photos posted online. But your location was still turned on in a certain app. The movie theater with a couple of your friends! Looks like he’d be crashing in, but surely heroes didn’t need to pay to get in right?

After portal-ing into seven other dark rooms. Searching the crowd from the back, row for row. It took him a few more tries until he finally portal-ed into the right theater room. He had spotted your friends first. One was always dying their hair crazy colors and from the pictures online the latest was neon purple. It reminded him of a bitch named Kendra so Leo held distaste for the color. You weren’t exactly sitting side by side with your friends, but a row below with one person beside you. Making the seat on the other side of you open. Almost like it was fate for him to sit next to you. The movie has everyone’s attention snagged so he mozied his way down the stairs on foot. Having portal-ed at the top of the rows and slid into the seat next to you as the movie hit a dark scene.

Leo paid attention to the movie. Horror. Which was surprising because you hated that genre. Or at least he thought you did. After a couple of minutes he finally glanced over, his gaze starting at your legs which were squeezing together in your seat. You looked tense, he wondered if that was because of him or the movie. When his eyes finally reached your face and then your own, he was met with a hard solemn look. It had him blinking in surprise. So that answered his question. Definitely because of him. The look threw him off for sure but seconds later an easy-going smile found his features as he translated a carefree sorry slash greeting.

Your lips scowled, though the sound was lost underneath the blaring all-around speakers currently screaming due to a jump scare on the characters. Then as if that wasn’t enough, your whole body shifted away from his, away from his seat, to the person next to you as your eyes went back to the screen. Leo huffed, this wouldn’t be a simple smile and swoon then! The blue turtle leaned heavily across the armrest, taking up as much space as possible. His eyes went back to the screen too seeing how long it would take you to stop ignoring him. He felt metaphorically daggers being thrown his way, from above where your friends sat and you too when you tried to sneak in glances his way. It wasn’t as often as he would’ve liked. It seemed your attention was also occupied with the movie and then person on your other side, someone Leo didn’t recognize.

It was a day full of things like that for Leo and it annoyed him. This whole situation did. He wanted to talk to you. To find out what was going on and why you weren’t calling or messaging him! Or even just answering his calls! But no he had to portal in almost every theater room to finally find you and then wait even longer to get some answers. It was eating away at the crumbs of his leftover patience. So when the credits finally started rolling Leo spoke up so those nearby could hear, “We’ll be right back~!” And no later had he grabbed your hand and pulled you into the portal, following after him.

Boy were you angry! Didn’t matter that he had brought you up to Empire State Building. “Take me back Leo!” It was all you kept saying. Even when he asked you what was going on! He asked why you hadn’t answered his calls or told him about you moving. You ignored everything he said. “Princess please, I’m confused over here!” He pleaded and you hissed at the nickname. “Just stop. Take me back. You don’t deserve to know anything about me!”

That had given him a little more insight. “Okay okay, I’m sorry! I’m sorry okay?” You shook. Physically shook with anger and that sinking feeling returned. “You don’t even know why you’re apologizing.” You spat. And he moved into your space. If words weren’t going to work he’d try a another approach. One that worked just as well if not better. “But I’m doing it anyway, cause that’s just how sorry I am babe!” His hands finding yours. “No!”

You ripped your hands away from his touch. You didn’t sink into his touch, calm under his fingertips. It was like a slap to the face. “You don’t just get to say pretty words anymore Leo. You don’t get to just caress all my feelings away! You don’t get to just march into my life when you want! You don’t get to act like you care about me!!”

Was that what he was doing? The worry turned to guilt. Though you weren’t sad, you were just angry. Angry that he had randomly popped up again at his own whims to fulfill his own needs. “That’s fair… so tired of our little game then?” Leo smiled. He smiled through a dull sort of pain, a fake one that he had mastered a while ago. You sighed, shaking your head at him. “It might’ve been a game to you, but my feelings were real. I was never playing Leo.”

Silence hung over the two of you as the wind picked up from the height of such a mighty building. “Right then.” Leo murmured. Staring off into the night, the twinkling lights from the building below turning into hazy far-away circles. “Portal me back.” You repeated. “Of course Princess” You cringed at the use of the nickname once more. He swiped open a portal and gestured for you to go first, his hand finding your back as it closed. He hardly had felt you before the feeling was gone completely. You were gone, back where you wanted to be. And he was left, confused.

How long had you been with him. Admiring, pining, flirting..? How long had he been stringing you along? He couldn’t seem to remember. So he stayed on there on top of the tallest building. Sighing deeply before shrugging it all off and deciding a new batch of admirers was just what he needed! A distraction from losing you. It wasn’t every day someone was crossed off his list! But it seemed you were done with him completely and he wasn’t in the habit of forcing anyone to have a fun time.

But as he went to his regular bars, clubs, restaurants he didn’t feel smug as he turned heads. He didn’t feel happy as he was approached and flirted with. No matter how many times he went out, danced, or drank til he couldn’t think straight. He even tried finding someone like you. Someone similar! Someone who had your personality. Someone who looked close to you. But they weren’t you. It was getting desperate and weird at this point. Even drunk he wasn’t happy. Which led to the drunken thoughts of you as he realized he missed you.

Had started missing you ever since he realized your attention was no longer on him. He blamed it on the alcohol as he pictured your apartment. Not filled with some stranger. But of you and him. A shared apartment with Leo. It was a shared room instead of just yours. It was his bed too. Surely it was drunken thoughts to want to commit like that. He’d never done such a thing before. But with you… at least Drunk Leo wanted an apartment, a room, and a bed with you. His mask scrunched up around his brows thinking about how he had lost you.

He hated losing people. He wasn’t a loser. But how was he to convince you now that he had exhausted all possibilities. Was he a changed turtle? Did he really want to settle down? Or was this just because he had lost a favorite toy… a favorite person? Or was his type the ones playing hard to get?

Guess he’d have to find out. So after weeks of playing around and trying to fill a hole that only had gotten bigger with time Leo decided it was time to really try.

So he portal-ed again off to apologize genuinely this time. And beg on his knees if he had to with arms full of thoughtful gifts if it would give him a second chance. And if that still wasn’t good enough he was going to stick around for quite some time because he had a pretty thick skull. You’d have to reject him plenty so it would get through his head! Because it seemed even someone like you wouldn’t do. It had to be you, so he was going to win you back one way or another.

Because if Leo was one thing, he was definitely not a loser.

—————————————————————————

[hermannsthumb]

Please please please more "Fake Dating for Funding"! I haven't read much PR stuff in the last few years and your newest piece jerked me right back to that old standby hyperfixation. It's so cute!!

answering this sooooo late, OOPS SORRY, but here's a little ficlet as i try to get myself back in the writing groove.... the original fake dating for funding fic is right here, but i was thinking over plot concepts earlier and this one made me laugh, LMAO

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"I have a favor to ask of you," Hermann says one morning.

Typical of Hermann, it's blunt and to the point, no show of bartering or sweetening Newt up with dessert or anything like that. In theory Newt should be annoyed, but Hermann indebts himself to Newt so rarely (and never willingly) that Newt’s actually kind of interested to see where this goes. He pushes up his work goggles and strips off his gloves without a second thought.

Hermann is standing directly over Newt’s side of the yellow line, one hand balled into a fist while the other white-knuckles his cane, his shoulders hunched over. He looks extremely uncomfortable. On the other hand Hermann rarely looks comfortable, so this isn’t anything new, or something to draw immediate conclusions from.

“Okay,” Newt says. “Lay it on me.”

“I would not blame you if you found yourself thinking less of me,” Hermann says, “or outright rejecting the proposition. I’m aware it is far more than one typically asks of a…” He swallows. “Colleague.”

The word hangs awkwardly in the air between them. It’s not that it’s an inaccurate descriptor, but it doesn’t completely encompass the, uh, reality of things, being that they were a litttttle more than colleagues up until two months ago. (Not that they called themselves anything other than colleagues for the duration of that whole—indiscretion. It was a little confusing.)

Still, Hermann’s groveling, and Newt’s interested. “Oh, sweet,” he says, maybe a little too casually. Just two bros having a normal conversation about how they're nothing more than colleagues. “I’m totally in. What are we doing? Is it illegal or something?”

He could actually use Hermann’s mad computer hacker skills for something in the near future—Newt wants unrestricted card access to the typically very restricted hazardous materials storage in the jaeger bay for reasons he’s not going to disclose—and doing something illegal for the guy would be a great way to get him to do something illegal for Newt in return. In a favor-for-favor way more than a blackmail way, because Newt mostly isn't a dick. And anyway, maybe doing some platonic fun k-science bonding time will be good for them. Make things a little less tense. Newt’s been working on that really hard lately, mostly because his multiple Shatterdome transfer requests have been outright denied by the Marshal and he seems to be out of alternatives.

“No,” Hermann says.

He looks at his shoes. He’s about two unlucky inches away from stepping on a piece of kaiju spleen Newt dropped earlier and forgot about, and the fact that he’s not taking any precautions to shield his precious ugly wingtips tells Newt he means business. “Perhaps a little…morally questionable.”

“Oooh, Hermann, you’re such a tease,” Newt says. He tosses his nasty gloves in the trash can and scoots Hermann towards the cluster of their desks with a hand to the small of his back, ignoring the way Hermann bristles and digs the end of his cane halfheartedly into the floor. “Come on, come on, I’ll make coffee, stop looking so depressed.”

He does make himself a coffee but brews a quick cup of black tea for Hermann, which turns out to be kind of a waste of his time, since Hermann blatantly ignores the mug Newt slides in front of him. He’s gone from looking like the most emo librarian in the world to looking vaguely nauseous. If circumstances weren’t as they are, Newt might say it was making him look exceptionally alluring—that whole sickly Victorian lad thing really gets him going. “If you’ve forgotten,” Hermann says, “we’ve another of those foolish PPDC fundraisers soon, at the end of the month.”

“Oh.” Newt leans back in his chair, a little disappointed. “Is that it?”

“Yes,” Hermann says. “No.” He shakes his head gravely. He’s so dramatic sometimes, it’s kinda cute. “It is the root of the problem, but not the entirety of it. You’ll recall, I presume, how badly in need of funding we are, myself in particular for the Breach-mapping software I am attempting to develop.”

Newt does recall, because yeah, he is also in need of funding real bad. Can’t make awesome, ground-breaking advancements in the field of kaiju biology without any kaiju bits to study the biology of. That spleen currently threatening to ooze over the yellow tape line represents approximately sixty percent of Newt's remaining currently viable samples. “Uh, yeah?”

“I have,” Hermann makes a face, “a working theory, so to speak. You’ll further recall the similar PPDC event we attended in August of last year?”

“Yeah?”

“And the one we attended this year, in the week following our—”

“Yeah, Hermann, I remember.”

“Right,” Hermann says.

Newt remembers the second one more clearly than he likes, because having to make nice with Hermann to present a united front six days after a very, very stupid argument about Newt maaaaybe stealing half of Hermann’s sandwich—which ultimately led to a mutual and spur of the moment decision to dissolve the whole weird lab partners-with-benefits thing they had going on—was one of the more uncomfortable experiences of his career. Still, he made as nice as he could, because his supply of work gloves and Keurig pods were running dangerously low and he didn’t feel like shelling out the money from his own abysmally small paycheck for any.

He doesn’t know what was so significant about the other one they went to though, the one last August. It was humid. Newt remembers being so hot he had to take off his tie, and he lost it somewhere in the convention center afterwards. He misses that tie. Hermann hated it, which makes him culprit number one in its disappearance.

“We drew in significantly more donations in August than we did two months ago,” Hermann says, and opens the top drawer of his desk to produce a neat stack of papers, which he spreads in front of Newt to reveal a series of color-coded spreadsheets.

Newt’s eyes glaze over a little at the sight. He doesn’t bother extending the effort to confirm Hermann’s data—as much as he hates to admit it, the guy is thorough with his numbers and rarely wrong about stuff like this. He flips through it anyway to appease him. And, honestly, he thinks Hermann’s feelings would be hurt if he didn’t, and Newt really is committed to being a good labmate (y’know, for the very brief time being). “And prior to August,” Hermann continues, “you’ll note that the average sum total of donations we received per event was significantly lower. August was an anomaly.”

“Sure,” Newt says. “So what?”

Hermann slides the spreadsheet back into his desk, pulls his dorky glasses off, and exhales slowly: he’s getting to the point. Newt has a hunch what that point might be, but Hermann always looks funny when he gets into lecture mode, and Newt doesn’t want to interrupt it.

“I believe,” Hermann says, “that our—relationship status, which was significantly different on that occasion as compared to the rest—might possibly have had no small influence, for one reason or another. We certainly behaved more, er, affectionately, or tenderly around each other, and perhaps others took note and found it charming. Or some such thing. Of course I can't draw any conclusions from a single point of data, but I believe if we were to... Well, it's a bit silly, hearing myself now.”

“You want me to be your fake b-f so we can trick people into giving a shit about us and shake them down easier,” Newt says.

The tips of Hermann’s generous ears go red. “I’m aware it’s an unusual request,” he says, “especially considering… recent certain developments in our working relationship.”

It’s not exactly the fun platonic bonding time Newt anticipated, but he has a hunch Hermann might be on to something—the whole doomed romance, give us money so our love has a fighting chance of surviving the apocalypse thing, which they were apparently already inadvertently playing up. He’s willing to give it a shot. Making a joke out of it might actually help Newt let go of his last lingering nostalgia for that super brief period of time he and Hermann got up to after-hours hijinks and were almost amicable with each other. And, you know, on the other hand, if that doesn’t work, he could totally do the opposite of moving on and revel in the opportunity to do couple-y tender things with Hermann again.

“Yeah, sure,” Newt says. Real chill about it. He’s so chill, man.

Hermann blinks at him owlishly, clearly taken aback, but says nothing.

“It’ll be fun,” Newt adds. “It’s a good plan, great idea, it’ll totally work. Nothing has to be weird, right? I mean, it’s not like we were really even dating before or anything. There’s no reason for it to be weird. It’s definitely not for me. Is it for you?”

“No, er, of course not,” Hermann says. “It was my idea, wasn’t it?”

They’re totally over each other, but they can also totally pretend they’re not for a night or two, no sweat. “Cool,” Newt says, and repeats, maybe to convince himself, “It’ll be fun. We can dress up all fancy and wear matching ties or something and talk about how tragic we are. I’ll grab your ass in front of people and you can brag about how cool and smart and sexy I am.”

“You are not doing that,” Hermann says, “and I am not doing that. When have I ever—oh, nevermind. I am not averse to the neckties, however, especially if it means you’re at least attempting to look somewhat professional for our prospective—”

“Dude, come on, you totally just think I look hot in a suit.”

The splotchy red flush spreads from Hermann’s ears to his neck as he scowls at Newt. He doesn’t bother denying it: Newt’s sure they both vividly remember the most recent annual k-science research symposium when Newt finally let himself be talked into renting a fancy blazer, to look, uh, like the expert in your field you are, Newton, and Hermann had such a hard time keeping his hands off Newt in increasingly unchaste ways that they had to duck out early. I like when you look put-together and competent, Hermann said, or something along those lines, there was a lot of kissing going on and Newt wasn’t exactly paying attention to specifics. He ended up losing the deposit on the suit—which is why he stole the sandwich in the first place, actually. Very petty revenge. Full circle.

“Piss off,” Hermann grumbles.

“We’re gonna have to put in for just one hotel room if we wanna sell it, you know,” Newt says, the realization suddenly hitting him. “Maybe even one bed. It’ll look totally suspicious if we don’t, right?”

Hermann meets his eyes for a few awkward, quiet seconds, and then they both quickly look away from each other. Newt stands up and makes a show of gathering their untouched mugs, both of which have gone extremely cold. Hermann slips his glasses back on and opens up his desk drawer to shuffle through his immaculate spreadsheets again, pretending to look for errors that they both know aren't there.

“We’ve,” Hermann finally says, and then clears his throat. “We’ve survived worse. I'm sure we can manage. It’s only for two nights, after all.”

“Yeah, totally,” Newt says.

[runningmiller]

These kids are nuts Ch1

Summary:

You're a scholarship student at the best possible tech school. A run in with two troublesome kids and a bit too much compassion on your end dooms you to a fate of dealing with their bull. Might as well get some fun out of the situation. Slice of life, and your life happens to be really weird these days. Better get adjusting!

this has like 15 chapters, so I'll space out the cross posting for it more.

Living on your own for the first time can be jarring. The emptiness of the apartment and the intrusiveness of the neighbours to the depressing grey innards you were legally contracted not to change. All of this, you left behind for another day of lessons. Somehow, you had managed to score a scholarship to the beck tech school in the country. It had honestly surprised you, you were certain you only had the basics down and struggled with the more difficult aspects but according to the board who'd granted you entry they admired your dedication, and the fact that you applied at all instead of waiting to be scouted like more students. Apparently you show potential, and they're ready to help you bring it out. The odd thing is everything seemed easier than you'd expect from a high level education, simple and straightforward where you'd expect someone to need great skill and experience. You don't think of yourself as being an especially fast learner or anything like that so maybe they're just starting you on the easy stuff? It's hard to tell when you get so much praise for completing something it didn't occur to you was supposed to be impressive, if they're being sincere or patronizing. You walk by what appears to be a middle school with 'skool' on the front. You really hope these schools are as good as they're supposed to be. Well, even if they aren't, its not on your dollar. A group of kids yelling isn't unusual, and neither is the sight of multiple kids they're ganging up one.

You quickly move to dispel the group, hopefully giving the target an out, "Hey now, what's going on over here?"

The group pauses and turn to you before a girl pipes up "Who are you?" not wanting to admit to someone older what they were doing.

 You ignore the question, "go on, get to class or something, just break it up."

Another child sneers "Why should we?".

Both the kids and you know you can't actually do anything, but they don't know that you won't. With a cold look, you take a few deliberate steps towards the children. Before you could even make up some half baked threat, the group was running off, deciding this wasn't possibly worth the entertainment.

Turning your attention over to the kid, you see he's been left on the ground. You kneel down to him to check up on him, reaching for him, "hey-"

he shoots up, and you jump back in turn as he examines you suspiciously. His sudden energy is not his only shock quality. The boy looks sick, skin as green as it gets, lacking any semblance of a nose or ears. Besides the obvious there was something off about him that has you consciously restraining yourself from pulling away. There's a quality to him, like a small scratching at the back of your skull, annoying and bothersome but you can push through the day, still though, why is it there? 

"What do you want earth worm?" he accuses more than asked.

You sigh, get back to your feet and ask him the obligatory, "Are you okay?"

Suddenly he becomes very animated as he states "HA! Of course, it will take more than filthy dirt children to bring down the amazing ZIM". In that moment, you wish you'd had half the confidence real or fake, at his age.

You take a moment to introduce yourself. Why? Why not? "Well good, I'm ___-" but you're dismissed as the bell rings and, you assume Zim, turns from you, waving you away in the most snotty way you've ever seen someone act out side of TV.

"Yes, yes, stupid human but I must go" And he runs off to class. You stand there a moment, not quite absorbing the abrupt..... well everything that just happened really. 

Then run off to your own class, still a couple blocks away, barging into class huffing.

[jackrrabbit]

cooking at 3am /// Osamu x f!Reader

Request: Imagine cooking together with Osamu at 3am because neither of you could sleep (or because ‘Samu got the midnight munchies lol). You don’t have anything specific in mind; you’re just playing around and feeding each other little bits of what you make.

A/N: bruh you said munchies and my mind said [[ h i g h o s a m u ]] sorry this went in a kinda different direction? but still fun 3am cooking project vibes :P

Tag/warnings: fluff, light drug use (weed), you and Atsumu are lowkey Bros™️, Osamu's kinda baby 🤧

Osamu’s not good at smoking.

He doesn’t really know how to inhale—you know, hold it in his lungs so it can soak in or whatever—and when he does, he coughs. Except he tries to repress the coughs. Even if he wants to hide it, he’s always close enough to you that you can feel his chest moving from trying not to cough when he takes a hit.

And also, like every baby smoker, he can’t really tell when it’s kicking in until he’s off the deep end.

“Can you feel it yet?”

“No.”

You shoot Osamu a glance where he’s sitting on the ground in front of the couch, watching a nature documentary on Atsumu’s TV with a glazed-over look on his face. “You sure? Your eyes are super red.”

“I can’t feel it. Give it—“ He holds out his hand and honestly you’re pretty sure he’s had plenty, but it’s Atsumu’s vape so who cares. You hand it over and Osamu holds it up to his mouth and sucks, eyes fluttering closed as the light on the side of the Pax glows yellow.

God, he looks hot when he does that. Something about a hot guy smoking, yeah? Actually, no. Something about your hot boyfriend smoking.

Except 'Samu holds his breath a second too long and you can see the urge to cough hit him… Wait for it, you think to yourself, and a second later he hacks and wheezes the vapor out in a wispy cloud that reflects silver against the semi-dark. You coo in sympathy and pat his back. “Want some water?”

Osamu shakes his head, hand over his mouth to stop the coughing. On the tv, David Attenborough talks about penguin courtship rituals and Atsumu (who’s been draped on the couch next to you for the past few hours) gives a light little sigh in his sleep. You check the time. 3am. Bedtime. Too bad you and 'Samu are both too high to drive home…whoops. Guess you’re spending the night at Atsumu’s place.

Osamu rubs his bloodshot eyes like they’re itchy, which they probably are. “Hey, can we— uhh… Do we have pancakes.”

“Pancakes, babe? You mean the ones you made for breakfast?”

“Yeah, there’s leftovers…I made you extra and you didn’t want them.” He twists around and gives you an incredibly dirty look, like this is something you did on purpose to hurt his feelings. “If you don’t want them I’m going to eat them.”

“Wait, 'Samu—“ But Osamu's already getting up off the floor to wander over to the next room. You debate pausing the show—it’s a really good scene—but you leave it going for Atsumu's sake because you’re pretty sure the narration is the only thing keeping him asleep. He’s kinda drooling on your shoulder and you have to push him off to go follow your boyfriend to the kitchen.

“What is all this stuff? Ugh…” Osamu's pawing through the fridge. There’s a lot of crinkling, plastic sounds—you catch a glimpse inside and all of the shelves are stacked up with plastic bags and styrofoam containers.

You yawn and hop up to sit on the kitchen island. “Takeout? I don’t think he cooks.” Atsumu's going to get a lecture tomorrow for keeping 2-week-old Indian food in his fridge. God knows you heard it way too many times before you and Osamu moved in together. You don’t envy 'Tsumu.

Osamu sits down in front of the fridge, fumbles with a drawer, and pulls out a bag of moldy grapes. “Gross…who lives like this…”

You snicker into your hand.

“I can’t find the pancakes.” 'Samu's pulling the plastic drawers all the way out now, setting them down on the floor as he inspects the contents of the fridge.

“They’re not here.”

“You ate them?”

“No, I— Hey, put those back in,” you tell him helplessly as he shuts the door of the fridge, ignoring all the leftover food he took out. Yeah, half of it was probably off anyway, but Atsumu's gonna be pissed if he wakes up and there’s takeout going bad all over his kitchen floor.

“You threw away my pancakes?” Now the look on Osamu's face is utter betrayal. He stands up off the floor and glares sulkily at you. “I made those for you…”

“I didn’t throw them away, they’re—“ You hold back a laugh and wish you had your phone on you (where did it go?) so you could take a picture. He’s so cute when he smokes. “—they’re at home.”

“At home?”

“Yep, at home. The place where you and me live, remember?”

“Oh.” Osamu pauses, reaches out absently to grab the edge of your sleeve. You’re wearing one of his hoodies. “We’re not at home?”

“Nope. We’re at Atsumu's place,” you tell him through a giggle.

He plays with your sleeve, contemplating. “Why?”

“Because we’re out of weed and he said he’d smoke us out. And we like hanging out with him.”

“Oh. We do?”

“Yes.”

“…’Kay.” It takes Osamu a second to accept this, but then he nods seriously. “(Y/N), I'm hungry.”

“I know. What do you want to eat? You could probably have any of that stuff, I don’t think he’ll miss it.”

'Samu thinks about it for a moment, scanning the array of takeout containers spread out across the kitchen floor. “I want pancakes.”

“The pancakes are at home, remember?”

“Yeah…” Osamu flips over his grip on your sleeve and traces his thumb down the lines in your palm. “I could make some?”

More pancakes? “I don’t think 'Tsumu has eggs, babe. Or flour. Or…baking soda?” You’re not really sure what ingredients go into pancakes. Whatever cooking skills you possessed pre-Osamu have deteriorated significantly since you moved in together and he took over any and all food preparation for your household.

He pouts at this, and his hair is a little messed up, and he’s so pretty that you can’t stand how much you like him in that second. Mine mine mine, something in the back of your brain says. He’s mine.

You reach up and Osamu obediently ducks his head down so you can smooth his hair back into place and fix the bits that are flipping over his part. “Is there anything else you want to eat?”

“Onigiri.”

“Oh…” Well, at least Atsumu probably has rice. “Sure. Ok. That’s your specialty.”

“I want ya to make it for me.”

“What?” You frown and pull your hand out of his. “You know my cooking sucks.”

“No it doesn’t. (Y/N)’s food’s the best.”

“You own an onigiri shop, come on—“

“Please?”

One of his bangs falls back in his eyes and without thinking you reach up to put it in place. “Okay, fine. But you can’t complain about it if it’s not good.”

He smiles and you want to blush. “Yes! I promise.”

So you do it for him. Even though you’re high too. You measure some rice and water into the rice cooker (Osamu has to give you pointers on how much of each to put in) and you scrounge around Atsumu's depressingly bare kitchen for a few sheets of seaweed and some easy fillings. Osamu pulls a stool up to the island counter and rests his chin on his hands so he can watch you with a bleary look of adoration on his face.

It takes you…maybe half an hour to be done? It’s hard to gauge time when you’re high. You and 'Samu both jump when the rice cooker finishes and plays the little rice cooker song, which will remain stuck in your head for the foreseeable future. 'Samu hums it in a loop while you shape the rice into lopsided triangles and wrap the nori around it.

“Here,” you tell him when you set the plate down in front of him. He looks entirely too happy to be eating your mediocre food for someone who literally does this for a living, but who cares.

He picks one, takes a bite, swallows. And blinks.

“What do you think?” you ask in spite of yourself.

“Umm…salty,” Osamu says.

You grab one to try yourself and it’s salty. Like, ocean salty. Yuck. “I told you it would be bad,” you complain, trying to tug the plate away but Osamu grabs it and pulls it back.

“Noooo…it’s good,” he lies, although his face is giving him away. Still, he takes another bite and chews enthusiastically.

“Shut up.” You tug a little harder but Osamu doesn’t let go.

He swallows, pulls a face, and takes another one. “So good. I love it.”

“Shut up. You sound so fake. You’re going to get sick if you eat that.” You keep pulling, but he insists on pretending it’s edible so you admit defeat and help him finish the onigiri off. God, they’re awful. But he keeps eating and so you do too.

When you’re done, your mouth feels dry as fuck and you want to sleep almost as much as you want to drink about a gallon of water. “Is it bedtime yet?” 'Samu asks, wiping his mouth and then rubbing his eyes again.

The clock over the oven says it’s past 4. “Yes. It’s bedtime.”

“Wait—we’re…we’re not at home, right? We’re at 'Tsumu's?”

“Mhm.”

“I prolly drove here…I dunno if I can drive now,” Osamu tells you slowly, like he’s apologizing. “I think I'm kinda high.”

“Oh yeah?” You hold your laugh back and put your hands up on his cheeks. “How do you feel?”

“Dizzy. Blurry? Like…you’re in slow-motion.” His hands come up to layer over yours. “You’re pretty in slow-mo.”

“Prettier than usual?”

Osamu closes his eyes, scrunching them up to think and then looking over your face intently. “Same amount, just slower. So it’s easier to see.”

“That so?” You slip your hands around to drape over his shoulders and get up on your tiptoes to give him a little kiss on the cheek, because he’s earned it. “You know what, I think I'm kinda high too. I think we’re going to have to have a sleepover.”

“On the couch? S’not big enough for us both.”

“You can sleep with 'Tsumu in his bed…or I guess you could sleep on the ground?”

'Samu's mouth twists and his brows draw together. You can practically hear the gears in his mind turning while he considers alternatives. “Can we share the bed?”

“I think Atsumu's gonna want it. It’s his house.”

“But he’s already sleeping.”

True, you can hear Atsumu snoring lightly from the living room underneath David Attenborough’s description of endangered falcons in the Philippine rainforest. You should really wake him up—matter of fact, you should really clean up the kitchen because it’s a huge mess—but 'Samu's already pulling you away. And you’re so sleepy.

“He’s going to be pissed tomorrow,” you tell Osamu through a yawn, but you let him steer you in the direction of Atsumu's bedroom, holding your hand.

“Don’t care…I hate sleeping without you.”

“Yeah,” you say, and you squeeze his hand and he looks back at you like you’re the literal best thing in the entire universe—and you decide you should get him high more often. “Same.”

[dathen]

Does Jon deny all the statements/the Supernatural ROUND EIGHT:  TMA 36-39

At last...the final installment I procrastinated on as I got caught up in my s2 relisten.  And the thrilling conclusion!!

- TMA 36 - Taken Ill:  “Another tale full of dead ends,” Jon says.  The lack of documentation and corroborating evidence for this one was notable even to Sasha, but Jon notes that “based on this statement, that’s not necessarily a point of incredulity.”  AND THEN!!  This entire last paragraph deserves attention!!

Still, there’s a lot here that puts me in mind of other statements. Something in the way Ms. Baxter talks about fear. I can’t help but be reminded of statement 0142302, how Jane Prentiss talks about her own fears. And the old man and his companion… who does that remind me of? If he wasn’t dead, I’d think it might have been Trevor –

Jon, is your academic detachment fleeing you again?  Did you forget that you’re supposed to be pretending not to believe these?  Look at you comparing the vibes of the statement to one you’ve already stated you believe (and for the correct entity too!), working off your gut feeling again!  Look at you making connections to statement-givers that it took me three listens to catch!  These are not the words of a dismissive researcher.  Conclusion:  Not dismissed, connected to other statements.

- TMA 37 - Burnt Offering:  Jon admits that there’s no evidence that would require that this incident is supernatural, but doesn’t go so far to say it isn’t.  Despite the lack of definitive corraborating support, Jon concludes shakily, “I have no idea what this means. I have no idea what any of this means. I’m...very tired.”  Conclusion:  Not dismissed.

- TMA 38 - Lost and Found:  The last statement of season 1!!  Here, Jon is clearly on the way to supporting it:  “Before I dig too deeply into the background of this statement, I feel I should mention something that puts much of it in a slightly different light.”  He then brings up the half-empty marriage license, then goes on to talk about Salesa as the source of many of the items in Artefact Storage--which he and his fellow professed-skeptic Sasha easily agree is full of genuinely supernatural items.  Conclusion:  Supported.

TMA 39 AND CONCLUSION

Throwing the rest under a cut as I tie it all together!

Let’s look at both Martin’s accusation and Jon’s response.

Martin: Why do you do that?

Jon:  Do what?

Martin:  Push the skeptic thing so hard?  I mean, it made sense at first, but now?  After everything we’ve seen, after everything you’ve read!  I hear you recording statements and you just dismiss them!  You tear them to pieces like they’re wasting your time, but half of the ‘rational’ explanations you give are actually more far-fetched than just accepting it was a...a ghost or something.  I mean for god’s sake, Jon, we’re literally hiding from some kind of worm…queen…thing, how-- how could you possibly still not believe?

“It made sense at first” is a very curious comment here.  If you look back over my past posts, Jon is more critical of the earlier statements, but Martin thought that approach made sense.  However, more recently, Martin feels Jon has gotten more vicious and more in denial.  There’s a few important things to note, here:

- As I noted in my previous entry in this series, Jon flat-out stated that he knew the “worm queen thing” was supernatural.  Apparently, Martin hasn’t listened to this statement, which in turn shows that Martin isn’t listening to 100% of Jon’s recordings.  

- Jon is also recording dozens of false statements.  Which--as time goes on--he is more and more sure they’re false.  As soon as something starts recording to the laptop, the “this is fake” sign starts flashing in Jon’s brain.  He’s trying to be kinder to Martin and not take his stress out on him, so imagine him unleashing all his stress and fear by ranting about the statements he knows are lies, or pranks, or superstitions, or “I think my weird neighbor is a cultist,” or “I had sleep paralysis but I’m pretty sure it was a demon,” or conspiracy theories...   Martin is hearing all of this!  Martin doesn’t have the Beholding instinct of feeling the weight of a god’s gaze on his back whenever a Real Statement is being read!  He’s hearing Jon snarl and snark about a good 98% of what they record, and it’s a matter of chance for whether he even listens to the 2% that were caught on tape--and that we hear in the show.

- Martin was really, really worked up about the Carlos Vittery statement.  Just like what happens with a lot of listeners, that one no doubt stood out in his mind as the #1 example of “Jon comes up with bullshit explanations to brush off stuff that is OBVIOUSLY weird” that would easily overshadow more rational follow-ups like “this person admitted to drinking heavily that night.”

So what is Jon confessing to?

Jon:  Of course I believe!  Of course I do.  Have you ever taken a look at the stuff we have in Artefact Storage?  That’s enough to convince anyone.  But...but even before that…  Why do you think I started working here?  It’s not exactly glamorous.  I have…  I’ve always believed in the supernatural.  Within reason.  I mean...I still think most of the statements down here aren’t real.  Of the hundreds I’ve recorded, we’ve had maybe thirty, forty that are…that go on tape.  Now, those, I believe, at least for the most part.

Martin:  Then why do you--

Jon:  Because I’m scared, Martin!  Because when I record these statements it feels…it feels like I’m being watched.  I… I lose myself, a bit.  And then when I come back, it’s like like if I admit there may be any truth to it, whatever’s watching will…know somehow.  The skepticism, feigning ignorance...  It just felt safer.

Here, Jon is repeating what we’ve seen the whole time: that he never said he doesn’t believe the supernatural, as we’ve seen from how up-front he is about the danger Leitner tomes pose, and how much effort he makes in the follow-up.  The difference is that after a certain point he knows which are and aren’t real right off the bat--

--but doesn’t admit it.  

It isn’t that he’s accusing them all of being fake, it’s that he KNOWS they’re true, but Hive is the only one where he admits “I know this is true because I can feel it.”  He’s feigning ignorance--pretending that he doesn’t know in his gut that those 2% are real.  That’s where the professional skepticism comes in, which genuinely is part of his job!  He’s relying on his skills as a researcher, using corroborating evidence and follow-up to verify the likelihood of a statement being a prank, a lie, a misunderstanding, or something genuinely paranormal.  

In reality, Jon feels the weight of those eyes on him the moment the tape recorder clicks on, and has to pretend he doesn’t know right away that it’s real.  

[forasecondtherewedwon]

Guest Side Story

Fandom: The Falcon and the Winter Soldier Pairing: Bucky Barnes/Sarah Wilson Rating: T Word Count: 3214

Summary: Sam told Bucky not to flirt with Sarah. But this is her house, so Bucky's pretty sure she makes the rules.

Bucky’s missed white lies. Ones that don’t hurt anybody.

“Is that cigarette smoke I smell on your coat, James Barnes?” “No, Ma. ’Course not.”

“And you’re sure this dame knows it’s my arm she’ll be on?” “Sure, Steve. She’s been after me to fix the two of you up for weeks.”

Stuff like that.

Past few years, Bucky’s either been transparent or a brick wall, all lies or all truth. Which one he loses more sleep over just depended on the day. The most human thing, he’s learning, is to work with a little of both: fact and fiction. Give something here, hold something back there. Lying doesn’t have to be mean-spirited and telling the truth doesn’t have to make him feel hollow and guilty. Maybe you can only realize this kinda thing when you find your way home, even if the home isn’t yours.

Bucky’s standing in the kitchen listening to Cass teach him how to fish. It’s purely theoretical, no gear involved, just the overexaggerated motion of Cass’s arm as he mimes casting. Laughing, Bucky lightly grabs the boy’s elbow before it can collide with the refrigerator on an especially big swing. Cass downsizes his demonstration without pausing the excited flow of his instructions.

AJ catches Bucky’s eye; from the look on his face, he’s beginning to suspect that Bucky might already know how to fish. While Cass is focused hard on his hands pretending to show how to fit live bait onto a hook, Bucky smiles at AJ over the smaller boy’s head and raises a finger to his lips. White lies. Let Cass believe he’s the expert.

When Cass is winding down, Bucky moves around him with a grin, carrying an empty plate to the sink.

“I got it!” AJ declares, whisking it from Bucky’s hand and pumping a squirt of dish soap in the center while his other hand runs the hot water.

Cass slotted the Pop-Tarts the plate lately held into the toaster for him (no better end-of-the-day snack, Bucky was told) and now AJ’s cleaning up. They’re a hospitable family, all day long. No phoniness, no insincere offers of help that they’re hoping Bucky won’t take them up on. He actually had to race the kids to the shed to store a toolbox earlier. On the boat, Bucky has room to put in the effort for the Wilsons, but inside the walls of their home he’s not allowed to do a damn thing because he’s a guest. Per square foot of property, he doesn’t think he’s ever been treated this well in someone else’s house.

“Fine,” Bucky concedes, “but I’m doing all the dishes tomorrow—breakfast, lunch, and dinner. And don’t get up early to drink a glass of orange juice and try to wash it before I’m awake, ’cause I’ll be listening.”

The boys giggle and Bucky leans against the counter, hovering while AJ hands the plate off for Cass to wipe dry and pretending not to listen to Sam and Sarah talking in the next room.

…But there isn’t a full wall separating the kitchen from the living room and Sam knows Bucky’s hearing’s good, right? He doesn’t think they’re discussing anything that private and if Sam’s annoyed with him later for what he supposes Bucky might’ve heard, Bucky’ll just offer up another white lie and swear he couldn’t hear a thing. And Sarah… Sarah wouldn’t think any worse of him if she knew. Bucky imagines she’d have a lot of compassion for his frequent urge to give Sam a hard time just for the hell of it. He flicks a quick glance over his shoulder, just to see her, and concentrates on what they’re saying, giving himself vague permission because he overheard his name.

“This was your idea,” Sarah’s saying. “You brought the stray cat home, just like when we were kids.”

“Don’t compare him to something cute,” Sam complains. Bucky’s mouth tenses to keep his smile from spreading too far.

“He is a guest in my home, Sam, and he’s more than earned it after the work he’s been putting in with the boat.”

“And what about the work you’ve been putting in watching him do that work?”

“Sam. Grow up.” Sarah’s voice is playful and Bucky almost turns, wondering what her expression looks like.

“So you’ve just been appreciating his skill with a wrench and some sandpaper,” Sam says skeptically.

“If I’m also appreciating his shoulders in that shirt— if—” she emphasizes when Sam tries to interrupt, “—it’s nobody’s business but mine.”

“Ok, you definitely can’t have him sleeping on the couch.”

“What do you think I’m gonna do? Try to sneak him to my bedroom after lights out? With you listening, trying to catch us? Uh uh. Your sister is a grown woman with two children, a home, and a boat she couldn’t manage to sell, and she can lust where she damn well pleases.”

Bucky snorts out a laugh and AJ gives him a funny look. Kid’s too perceptive.

“He’s tricky,” Sam lectures. “You can’t see it, but I do. I’ve been around him a hell of a lot more. You think he smiles like that at everybody? If he smiles at me at all, I gotta assume he just looked up and saw a meteor hurtling towards where we’re standing and is only smiling because we’ve got seconds to live and I won’t be able to tell anybody.”

“You are hilarious.”

“No, I’m not.”

“You’re telling me your friend is charming. That’s what you’re describing. Don’t I deserve to be charmed? Where else is he gonna sleep, huh? With you? In one of the boys’ little beds while they share the other one? Because I know you’re not suggesting we skip the pretense and put him right in with me.”

Sam lets out a noise of obvious frustration.

“Time to intervene,” Bucky tells Cass and AJ, leaving them to swap confused shrugs in the kitchen as he saunters into the living room.

“Hey,” Sam greets stonily, arms crossed over his chest.

Just for fun, Bucky decides to be all the friendlier.

“It’s so great of you to put me up. Thanks, Sarah. This beats a hotel by a mile.”

“Our gourmet kitchen does offer an impressive range of sugary cereal,” she jokes. “I might even cook you boys a special breakfast tomorrow before you head back to the dock.”

Bucky’s grin widens.

“Oh yeah? I wouldn’t wanna—”

“No, it’s no trouble—”

“Well, that would be—”

“Both of you stop it,” Sam orders.

“Sam, go outside,” Sarah orders right back. “Play some tag with your nephews.”

“Sarah, I’m beat. We’ve been working on that boat all day.”

“Mhmm, you and the rest of the neighbourhood. You worked all day and you come home and there’s still two kids to entertain. But guess what?” She smiles deviously at her brother and throws a few fake punches at his stomach. “You’re Sam Wilson, the Falcon! Looks like you’re special after all. Me and Bucky here know you’ve still got some gas in the tank. Go on.”

Sam looks fairly planted to the spot as he glares from his sister to Bucky, but he eventually moves with a lurching step.

“I’m gonna be right outside,” he warns.

Bucky sidesteps out of his path and says nothing, though it’s hard to resist the instinct to egg him on.

“We’re gonna have a super-secret discussion about which towels he can use,” Sarah goads at her brother’s back.

Sam ignores her, corralling his nephews in the kitchen and guiding them out the door into the fading daylight with a hand on each of their narrow backs.

“Great kids,” Bucky observes.

Sarah nods, watching her family disappear, then turns to him.

“We’re not really gonna talk about towels.”

“No?”

Bucky’s eyebrows rise in surprise and delighted anticipation until Sarah grabs a folded blanket off the back of the couch and passes it to him.

“We’re making up the couch.”

“Oh.”

This is ok too. Actually, really nice, standing next to Sarah and unfolding the blanket as she stuffs a pillow into a clean case. Her eyes find his already on her and he swears he almost blushes; he’s been smoothing out the same crease in this blanket for a good thirty seconds with no result, just watching her easy movements, the way she flips her braids back when they fall forward over her shoulder.

“I hope you’re comfortable,” she says, lingering once they’re done.

“I woulda slept on the floor. A closet, even, like Harry Potter.”

“You read Harry Potter? Don’t tell the boys—they’ll be bugging you to play wizards with them.”

Bucky laughs and shakes his head.

“Nah, I just watched the movie.”

“Which one?”

“There’s more than one?”

“You really better not bring it up then,” Sarah advises. “They’d try to tell you everything at once.”

“Yeah, wouldn’t want to get in out of my depth.”

It feels like a significant look they exchange after his words. Bucky wants it to be—he thinks he does—but he feels awkward, romantically clumsy. Heartstrings tied together like shoelaces, waiting to trip him up. He’s been telling himself she’s only being kind, but after eavesdropping on her conversation with Sam, he knows she’s interested. In his shoulders at the very minimum. Was that right? His shoulders? Just in case, Bucky does his best to square them. Can’t hurt.

He’s fucking ecstatic when Sarah does glance down briefly, her gaze returning to his face with something flustered in it. Sure, she’s a mom and she runs a business, but it’s like she told Sam: she deserves to be charmed. Bucky’s not entirely sure he’s doing it right though.

“So,” she says, “Sam was just being a pain when he tried to convince me you can’t sleep on the couch because you’ve got a bad back, right?”

Bucky sighs but keeps smiling. It’s natural in her presence.

“I’d say that’s him making old-man jokes about me.”

“I apologize for my brother and his bad manners.”

“Ah, he’s not totally wrong,” he concedes, perching on the arm of the couch. “These last few birthdays have required more candles than you could fit on a cake.”

“Then you just have to get yourself a bigger cake.”

Bucky laughs.

“I guess optimism’s pretty much a family trait?”

“We work at it. They say you need to take the good with the bad, but they don’t tell you that means creating the good out of nothing a lot of the time, if you want any at all. The Wilsons worked that out some time ago, so we mostly do alright.”

“It’s a good feeling to be around,” he tells Sarah earnestly. Clearing his throat, he gets to his feet. “Feels good, being around you.”

“We’re… I’m happy you could stay with us.”

The light’s softened in the room and her voice has gone with it. Bucky shifts on his feet.

“It’s a pleasure to be here,” he assures her.

Sarah’s eyelashes flutter when she looks from his mouth to his eyes. Probably too try-hard to bite his lip now. God, Sam thinks Bucky’s so suave with Sarah, but it feels like he’s only got one move and it’s fucking smiling. Some Casanova he is. Sarah, meanwhile, is beautiful and authoritative and generous and moving closer to toss the pillow he’ll rest his head on tonight onto the couch.

“Anything else you need to be comfortable?” she asks, gaze slipping from one of his eyes to the other. “Another pillow? Pajamas?”

“I’ve got some, but…”

“But?”

Sarah gives him a questioning look and Bucky starts summoning the courage to make a move. He’ll touch her waist—no, take her hand. He’ll cup her sweet face so there’s no doubt what he means.

“But,” he picks up, “if I get cold in the night…”

There’s longing in her eyes, Bucky knows it, but Sam bangs in the screen door right then, one nephew squealing where he’s been slung over Sam’s shoulder.

“Well,” Sam announces loudly to the house at large, “that’s it! No more gas in the tank! Everybody get to bed!”

Sarah appears sorry as she steps back. Bucky almost reaches out to pull her in, to take another shot with another lousy line. Shit, he’s bad at this.

“There are more blankets in the hall closet,” she says, and slips away.

“Thank you,” he calls after her.

Sam walks past, Cass still dangling upside-down over his back while AJ runs ahead, and watches Bucky like a hawk (or some other bird of prey) as he digs through his overnight bag. What’s Sam expecting him to pull out? A strip of condoms? Bucky extracts a green toothbrush and holds it up with an expression of fake wonder. Sam rolls his eyes and heads off down the hall.

They are going to bed early, barely 9pm. That’s probably late for the kids though. Bucky’s pleasantly weary after a day outdoors, more working than talking, feeling like part of something as the Wilsons’ community came together to repair the boat. Seeing Sarah throughout. Flashing Bucky a smile while she spoke to a neighbour, grasping his outstretched hand to let him help her aboard so she could see their progress, checking Sam’s work like she’s his foreman while Bucky grinned and watched the siblings good-naturedly pick at each other. Sam was probably out like a light and Bucky should be too.

He’s not.

He can’t get to sleep right away, but it’s peaceful to lie here on the couch, on his back, while the house gets dark and darker. Sarah left the nearest window cracked for him and a gentle breeze washes in with the chirp of insects. Bucky’s already looking forward to being woken by the sun streaming through in the morning. It’d be good to get from now to daylight in a single stretch of sleep; that’s what he fantasizes about while he lies on his back: no nightmares. His head’s propped up by the pillow he tells himself smells like Sarah, though it probably just smells like her laundry soap.

It’s hard to put his finger on what’s missing, why he can’t fall asleep, until he hears the soft shuffle of footsteps on carpet. They’re too close together to be Sam’s—either hesitant or made by child-sized feet. Bucky cranes his neck around, expecting to see someone walk past on their way to the kitchen for a glass of water. His gaze roams over nothing for a minute, then he slumps back as the footsteps retreat. Maybe it was Sam after all, getting up to look in on his nephews or something. It’s the sorta thing Bucky would do if he were an uncle; he’d treasure the time with those kids, try to remember everything about his visit so he could hang on to it when he found himself half a world away, in Berlin or Riga or Madripoor.

He’s settling, trapping the blanket against his chest with a heavy hand, when he hears the footsteps approach again. Then back away seconds later. Slowly, Bucky starts to smile to himself. It’s Sarah. Can only be her. She’s either trying to psych herself up to come in here and talk to him and failing, or trying to resist venturing down the hall and succeeding.

On her next attempt, she gets closer, and Bucky sits up, kicking the blanket aside, and drops his feet to the floor in anticipation of her rounding the corner. He’s nervously gripping the couch cushion on either side of his knees when she does.

“You sneaking past Sam?” he asks quietly.

Sarah jumps, pressing a hand to her chest.

“You scared me. I wasn’t sure you’d be awake.”

Bucky shrugs, dreamily fixated on her smile. One of her neighbours turns on their porchlight and now Sarah can probably see his smile too.

“Couldn’t sleep,” he says.

“Shoot. Did you need something else?”

Kinda funny how she’s pretending she was coming out here for another reason and is just making a detour for him. He knows better, but he’s got enough remnants of being a gentleman not to call her out on it.

“Nah. It’s nothing to do with you.” Bucky stares at her a few seconds and changes his mind. “You know what? Actually, it is you.”

“What is?” Sarah asks with a hushed, confused laugh.

“The reason I can’t get to sleep. Sarah…”

But she smiles and does what he did to the boys earlier—holds a finger to her lips.

With the confidence of a woman at ease in her own home and her own body, she steps forward. She wore a yellow t-shirt today, but the one she wears now is pale pink. It’s loose and worn and reveals the strong, elegant curve of her shoulder when she moves and it slips. Gazing up at her, Bucky shifts until he feels the back of the couch. His hands hover in the air as Sarah digs one knee, then the other, into the cushion on either side of him. She lowers herself onto his thighs.

Moving slow like the hour, deep like the black sky, Bucky runs his hands up her back.

Sarah’s palms land on his shoulders and, smiling, she confesses to him, “I like these.”

He’s smirking when she ducks her head to kiss him.

Now that he has her here—on his lap, in his arms—Bucky forgets every way he wanted to touch her earlier. How he was gonna woo her with tender contact applied just right. Well, thank god for Sarah. She sets the pace of the kiss and, when his hands go still at her upper back, reaches around to bring one of them back down to her waist. He can feel that there’s no bra beneath her shirt.

“Rusty,” he breathes when their mouths slide apart.

“You were on that old boat all day,” she reminds him. “You know I’ve got patience for rusty.”

Still, Bucky wants to do a little better, prove that maybe he’s what she had in mind when she decided he was worth smiling at. He cradles Sarah closer, pulling her in, dipping his fingers into the valley of her spine when she arches into him. They kiss firmer, then faster. At her quick nod of encouragement, he moves his hands to her hips. Lower.

“Sarah?” Sam slurs sleepily from down the hall. “You outta bed?”

Sarah presses a hand to Bucky’s chest and pushes off his lap, other hand over her mouth to muffle her laughter. He chuckles too.

“As the Falcon, timing is one of his greatest strengths.”

“And as his sister,” Sarah counters, “it gets on my last nerve.”

“Well, I didn’t wanna say that, but…” Bucky grins.

“Sarah?” Sam calls out again.

She sighs.

“Is he trying to wake the boys?” She takes a step away from the couch, wearing a regretful smile. “I better go.”

Bucky catches himself before he can blurt out I’ll miss you. Overeager fool.

“See you in the morning?” Sarah checks, something shy about her now, but not in a bad way. Cautiously hopeful, Bucky thinks. He’s been feeling that way himself.

He gives her one more smile for the road.

“You bet.”

[wingzie]

Brutally Honest Reactions to Jikook

It was requested on Twitter that I talk about the less positive posts about Jikook moments from my live reactions research. These will NOT include any screenshots, but I will discuss what I saw. I will continue to keep posting positive things about Jikook, but the fandom reaction towards Jikook is one of the reasons why I feel so strongly about supporting them so much. Please read ahead if you are interested. I will also keep it out of the Jikook tag.

I will quickly add my own experience here before I continue. I am an early 2019 ARMY. I didn't follow any BTS accounts on Twitter until after I caught up on content. I then started following Jikook accounts once I got braver, because I could see a clear difference in the way the fandom talked about them. (Or not at all in some cases.) It wasn't until I started following Jikook accounts, that I knew about GCF Tokyo. For a fandom that hyped up Jungkook being a director for LGO, his previous work and especially GCFT is rather ignored. Especially when it's obvious that Jungkook has always had an interest in making videos. 

GCFT

An important factor here is that GCFT was posted after Jimin's lovely twitter edit. From what I saw, no one had any real issues with Jimin's edit. The general consensus was that it was sweet that Jimin and Jungkook were finally able to go on a trip together and that Jimin made an edit out of it. But if that's the case, why were there then issues when GCFT was posted, that are still here today?

Compared to Jimin's edit, there is a clear sense of jealousy when GCFT was released. A "sweet trip" turned into a "not big deal" or started to include fake narratives. Some of which really confused me at first, until I asked someone at the time and got the truth. 

There is a sudden change of tone aimed towards Jikook: “How dare they go on a trip together?” and “how dare they share it with us this way?.”  It's clear to me that this jealously suddenly began because of the editing style, the camera shots and the song used. All of which made you feel a certain way when watching GCFT, if you were not so blind or bitter. However, the fandom did it's best to try to belittle JK's work. Saying excuses such as the song was not intentional or that the editing choices were coincidental. That's not the case at all and to quote a certain song "this is no coincidence."

There is an interesting notion that some shippers and y/n's turned to fan fictions after GCFT was released. This suggests to me that they did indeed in fact feel the same way about GCFT. They got the message loud and clear, but had to try to tune it out with another fantasy because of what they felt. They wanted what Jimin and Jungkook had for themselves or another member.

GCF's after GCFT

After GCFT there was a need to show: "look Jimin and Jungkook aren't that close." Which Jikook didn't get the memo of and it shows that people were keeping an eye on them. However, this was only to be able justify their negative thoughts about the possibility of two men being together. They couldn't stand the idea and came up with every excuse possible to deny it. There were a fair amount of “don’t assume their sexuality” posts floating around.

There was also a definite shift after GCFT with Jikooker’s themselves. Of course they were supportive, but much more discreet about it. Afterwards though ,and up through to today, they got louder about Jimin and Jungkook's bond. It's clear this reflects in the fandom perception of them together as a unit or just on the timeline itself. There is almost an annoyance whenever they show up.

The newer GCF’s turned more into a competition between the members. Something which sadly continued even with the Life Goes On MV. Rather than seen as a cute maknae trip in Osaka, GCFO was used as leverage against Jikook to prove that they weren't that close. Which is bizarre in itself and it was like Jimin wasn't in the video at all.

The outrage that sparked when GCFH was released showed the true hypocrisy of the fandom. Jungkook set the tone beautifully to match the Winter Package location of Helsinki. The fact so many quickly jumped on this, but ignored his skills previously is very telling. For all those yelling about appreciating Jungkook, they only yell when it's about making themselves feel better about something. 

Rose Bowl. I don't need to introduce this. However what I found interesting is that people outside of ARMY were more accepting of what happened than actual ARMY.  It also made me question what the definition of "ot7" is,  because these accounts were going around underneath posts with "stop shipping”, “they're just bros" or my most hated one "they do stuff like this in South Korea all the time."

The last one is an absolute hate of mine and is always used by NON Koreans. ARMY are often all about Korean culture until it's something they don't want to hear or know about. A general translation account has already pointed out that Jikook are extremely close due to lack of honorifics and it moe or less got ignored. Another account will mention the same , but for another unit, and it's worshiped to high heaven. Yet Jikooker’s are delusional for being the ones to understand the cultural significance of it?

Jungkook's Birthday in 2019

I am actually going to be calling out Jikooker’s here because the reverse happened this time. Others found Jimin’s Birthday video sweet, whereas Jikooker’s were being extremely rude and disrespectful ON the timeline towards Jimin about it. Plus the usual "Jikook broke up" malarkey that pops up twice a month happened. I only recently started researching this and I’m not even sure I can make a thread on it, because there was so much fighting on the Timeline about the Birthday video.

This is what spurred me on to write my twitter post about being careful about what you post and where your priorities lie. A lot of Jikooker’s were upset before Jimin posted. Not because "he hasn't posted.”, but because "he hasn't posted [for me]." 

This is something that Jikooker’s have to wrap their heads around. We only see a tiny percentage of their daily lives. They also have each other's phone number and see each other daily. They also know each other extremely well and probably better than any of us actually will. It is not up to us what they post or what we see. Do we miss them? Of course. However, to instantly start hating them for that is wrong. You're acting just like the fandom first did when GCFT came out. These same people also acted like nothing had happened as soon as Jimin posted the photo of Jungkook later on.

Seoul Final

For those that don't remember Rose, she was a k-army translator that went to Seoul Final. In one of her live shows afterwards, she explained how other Karmy were surprised by Jikook's closeness on stage. It wasn't just us.

However ,on Naver, there was a storm brewing about Jimin treating Jungkook inappropriately and the way they were acting on stage. This was first started by Jungkook akages and then spread around to some of the fandom who decided to jump in. 

This is one example of people using K-army as a weapon. That they know *best* when they suffer the same on their side with solos etc... It's also another example of the hatred towards Jimin. 

This isn't something new. Shipping was fairly peaceful and kept its original definition of wanting two people to be together. Even if this did include two real people. It wasn't until the definition of shipping morphed into something new and possibly real, that things started to erupt in the fandom. And this eruption was sadly placed onto Jimin, as people saw him as a disruption to their fantasies. 

This defamation of both Jimin and Jungkook's character from the fandom has been present since the beginning. They are seen as liars or not intelligent. That their closeness is fake, even though you can clearly see it from the start and then develop over the years. It's something that has always been beautiful to witness whilst watching, old content and new.

These examples of fandom reactions I have used are ones all related to expectations. If Jimin and Jungkook do not act as expected or they shock the fandom, one side will react negatively. The fandom also do not seem to like seeing Jikook be so loud, so to speak. And with the emergence of more Jikooker’s on social media, this horrid view of them will no doubt increase  Though many hate the term Jikook. It signifies the unit of Jimin and Jungkook and no matter what, they will do what they want too and continue to do so. Thank you for reading and feel free to ask questions if you have any!

[soupbabe]

Could I have some headcanons for kaidou, Aren, and Hairo with a transmasc s/o who likes to dress more femininely n stuff (like makeup n skirts) but is too nervous to do it in public cause he gets misgendered a lot

Thank you! Have a good day/night!

Kaidou, Aren, and Hairo w a Transmasc! S/O That Likes to Dress Feminine!

anon when I saw that this was a Saiki K ask my brain made monkey noises and I'm v excited to do this ask :D great taste in characters too

Shun Kaidou

I think the first time he saw you in a skirt, his facade instantly cracked

His head is empty only his pretty boyfriend

You would ask him how he feels about it, feeling a bit insecure and you would be met with silence

You turn around to face Kaidou and he's just sitting there with a pink face and a lovestruck expression on his face, completely distracted

I think he would want you to do his makeup too!

"A hero like me needs to look my best, right? Ooo is that sparkly eyeshadow-"

If you're worried about being misgendered, he's going to be your hypeman

Of course with his own flare; claiming to defend you with his being, that his partner and crime should never be disrespected like that

And this time, he would actually go through with this promise. Instead of immediately cowering, he uses his fake confidence to push him through the interactions to demand people to respect you

Aren Kuboyasu

His nickname for you is pretty boy

It was one of the first things he ever called you and it went from a (slightly teasing in a negative way) nickname to something that now has a lot of affection built behind it

His immediate reaction to hearing about your insecurities was to have you drop a list of people who needs their ass kicked

He would probably bark at anyone who gives you looks out in public

"Just ignore those dumbasses, they're just mad that you look hotter than them in a skirt "

Sir please, control your boyfriend-

Actually very sweet and supportive of you when you take him to go shopping with him

Knows nothing about makeup, but will try anyways

"Hey pretty boy, come here! These colors would match your new shirt!" "Aren, that's expensive!" "we can just steal it-"

Kineshi Hairo

Will wear skirts, dresses, and makeup to help you feel more comfortable in public!

He will convince you to let him buy matching outfits for you two!

And they're not the standard matching outfits like buying the same thing in your respective size, he goes above and beyond to get you designer brand shit

And it's hard to say no to him when he's smiling at you, awaiting for your reaction and that they fit your wanted aesthetic perfectly!

I think Hairo prefers skirts now

"Y/N, look! My pants won't fall if they're no pants to begin with! Haha!"

I'll be honest with Hairo's infectious positivity and motivational skills, it's hard to still feel insecure when you've been with him for a while

At least around school, it's a low chance people will talk bad or misgender you

Probably due to Hairo's influence tbh. You're mostly known as his boyfriend around school and since he has such a good reputation it passes on to you too

But if anyone were to misgender you, he'd be on their case about it instantly

He's giving them a very passionate and moving lecture about respect and how even if you don't like how they look, his dear boyfriend deserves basic human decency

[clockworklozenges]

So, a good five or so years back, I played in one of the best worst DnD games I have ever been in. The DM had bought the Libris Mortis book, which, if you were unaware, was a 3.5 splatbook adding in a lot of undead stuff, including some monsters and undead player races and stuff. Wanting to try it out, me and my gaming group decided to play things from it, our then DM deciding to run a completely homebrewed session. This proved to be a...

Terrible Idea™

(for the uninitiated, never homebrew something you do not fully understand unless it's just cosmetic. If you want to make all elves worship the god of garlic bread, Ultimo-Metatron-Omega, go ahead, but unless you know how the game works, don't make mechanical changes). So we all picked stuff from the books-one player played a skeleton Sorcerer who in life was a tribal shaman, but an attempt at healing went wrong, turning him undead as his life energy was replaced with negative energy, explaining why most of his spells were necromancy and suchlike.

Another player played Krug, an antipaladin in very spiky full plate. He was a zombie made by a necromancer of a paladin who was fighting him, but his allies killed his would-be master before he could assert control, and not wanting to just off him, his allies just...yeeted his body into a portal and hoped it'd re-kill him. It did not kill him hard enough. It did, however, explain his stats which...oof. He had already got debuffs to some stats due to being a zombie, and rolled abysmally. Fortunately for the player, he played mostly to socialise, so didn't much care.

I played... Count Nox Feratu, the Campire. As in, a vampire with a very camp German accent, which I did not break for the whole time I was playing him. To the point where "ach, nein, I haf bin heet! Heal me, meine freunde!" was par for the course. My overly camp vamp was a wizard, but due to level adjustment was a bit of a shoddy one. For backstory, he'd been ousted from his clan for ineptitude, and had sworn revenge. I was going for a swordmage build but never got there. All his spells were utility or just necromancy spells.

Our last player played...sigh...Damien Bloodmoon, cleric of Nerull, God of murder and undeath. He was one of the clerics from the book's murder Domain, meaning that he got buffs to damage. He was a vicious arse both in character and out of it, and was so dripping with edge compared to the paladin with the same IQ as a horse after its trip to the glue factory, the shaman who thought killing fixed people and the Campire that if you gave him a pat on the back you'd have finely diced your hand into a red mist. Not going too outlandish with his backstory of wanting to dominate the world as his undead thralls, Damien F***ing Bloodmoon had only taken spells which either charmed live people, dealt negative energy damage or messed with ability drain and suchlike, which he used with aplomb on townsfolk on our way to our objective. He was also, importantly, playing an elf of some sort, I forget which kind. Meaning that of the party, only one was alive.

So, just as an aside, for those of you that haven't played 3.5e DnD or have only played 5e, in Libris Mortis, undeath was gone over in detail, and had a litany of pros and cons. For one thing, undead had only the HP they had-folks like Damien F***ing Bloodmoon could be 'dying', and had some time to be stabilised before meeting the reckoning of Papa John and dying proper. Undead did not, it was just how much you had and if you ran out, poof, you're dust, bones and fertiliser again. You were also harmed by positive energy, so healing spells hurt you, as did potions of healing. However, undead were kind of hardy - poison immunity, some had resistance to non-magical melee damage, stuff that drained your ability scores and levels didn't work on them, some crits wouldn't do extra damage, and the best part- negative energy healed undead. Meaning all the spells our party had which damaged others like the living Damien Bloodmoon were curative ones for us. Keep this in mind.

So, we began our quest, learning of a necromancer a nearby town was plagued by. After using our skills (to whit: Damien Bloodmoon charming and drawing the life force out of random villagers and the only potion seller in the town whilst we went shopping. Krug got a snazzy hat, which we put on top of his helmet, and we chatted to townsfolk as I looked alive enough to pass as human and the shaman had a fake beard and toupee that people were too awkward to point out was fake so went along with it) we learn that the necromancer has a base of operations in the cemetery. "Oh ja, zo original, dahlink. Ve vill need to educate zis guy on vhat is chic and vhat is just shabby!"

So we head there and the nightmare begins. Damien Leads the charge, using all of his knowledge to deduce that the shambling horde moving towards us were stronger-than-your-average-bear undead, and he was right. These were powerful armoured zombie mages of some sort, casting ability draining spells, negative energy ray spells and even having auras of negative energy that dealt damage on a failed Fortitude save. Even their punch and quarterstaves did negative energy damage as well as the usual bludgeoning or unarmed. However...only one of us was really in danger and the DM's face fell when the squishy casters walked up and began shanking their super-special homebrew zombie wizards, being healed by the damage of their attacks as we cut them down.

Like I said, one of the benefits of undeath is that negative energy actually heals you. So the strikes of the magic staves and punches that hit us did some basic damage. Which was then immediately healed by the negative energy their weapon strikes and spells were doing.

However, you'll recall that Damien Bloodmoon was an elf. And not dead. Being a Cleric of a death god doesn't mean that you have the abilities of an undead. That meant that even with the DM being merciful, by the end of the first fight he was covered in blood, mud and withered away to just above half his original strength and constitution. More were patrolling, so we had to run. But that posed a problem.

Remember Krug had heavy armour? And recall his awful stats? He in fact, hadn't got enough strength to wear the armour he'd been given for backstory. He didn't, according to the DM, have enough to remove his own armour. And we attempted to, but also failed our checks according to the DM. And Damien Bloodmoon refused to help, simply blaming Krug and his player. Krug's player thought it was hilarious, and Krug only had enough Intelligence and Wisdom to say his own name, so saw no problem. And Krug, Nox Feratu and Shaman realised that there really...wasn't a problem.

For us, at least.

We slogged through three combats dragging Krug and wading through the mud with him. His speed was so slow that for every step he took, we took about ten. The DM was confused and infuriated that his encounters weren't working, but refused to change them. So we had fun role-playing. Or at least three of us did.

Damien Bloodmoon refused to roleplay, and none of his ranged spells could affect the zombie mages. When he went into melee, he came out wounded as all hell. He went down twice, and it was only the healing supplies of the shaman that saved him.

All the while, he was... Let's say not best pleased. Damien Bloodmoon was getting increasingly wounded, exasperated and longing for the sweet embrace of death as reprieve from the humiliation. His player was getting increasingly redder and rage-filled as time passed. Each fight ended with our characters stronger than ever and his a bloody pulp on the floor, with poor in-character knowledge (and terrible rolls) preventing him from realising why.

Eventually, we reached the final boss, pausing only to paint Krug's armour in contact poison just in case, and to find a stick to help the now-partially-crippled Damien Bloodmoon, cleric of death and murder, walk after being beaten up by angry zombie wizards for hours. And it had, indeed, been hours. Among us, only Damien had a bonus to strength, and we had two swords, a mace and a staff between the four of us. Meaning it was re-death by a thousand cuts for the enemy and a slog and a half for us.

We reach the necromancer and, having taken so long due to dragging the oblivious Krug with us, his big ritual is complete- he raises a fist-sized black onyx egg aloft, crackles with arcane power and causes the bones around him to coalesce into one massive creature - an undead, giant-sized rust monster, radiating an Aura of pure negative energy. Krug opened his arms wide, eager for the metal-eating monster cockroach to free him from his poison-painted metal prison. It ignores him as he's still very far away. Me and the others have our weapons and armour devoured.

Our DM was very much a stickler for note-taking. So because Damien Bloodmoon hadn't written 'clothes' on his sheet, his armour being eaten by the monster left him naked and afraid.

It became clear that the DM had done another f***y-wucky. See, the Aura of negative energy healed me and the Sorcerer by more than its other attacks did. So whilst Damien Bloodmoon was naked, soaked in mud and bleeding to death almost crushed to a pulp in the fetal position, rocking backwards and forwards as his player seethed with hatred, the Shaman and the Campire set about beating the thing to death with our bear hands and a stick.

The session ended once we killed the necromancer, or rather when Krug walked up to him, closed his arms and just crushed the noodle-armed bad guy to death with the weight of his ridiculous armour and poisoned him with its paintwork.

We never revisited the game afterwards. We were told later on that the DM wanted us to use the non-undead races. But at no point had he said as much, even when we asked him about our characters and the restrictions on them. We also learned a valuable lesson. DM for the players who are there, not the ones who you have an idealised mental image of. Tailor your game, otherwise you'll get a sitcom featuring a camp nosferatu, a shaman with no healing, a paladin who could barely move and a Cleric of murder who was ironically the only one at risk of actually dying.

[jeonjeonggukenergy]

May 31

summary ~ on the last day of your senior year living together, you're still fighting your feelings for your roommate jungkook. before you can fully move out and move on, he makes a pretty significant scheduling error. #and there was only one bed

genre ~ fluff, smut / roommate!au, college!au, bit of crack/fake texts

wordcount ~ 5k

warnings ~ smut (18+), blowjob (oral: m receiving), nipple play, marking, penetrative sex, cumplay (sort of oral: f receiving), jungkook just goes hard as expected BUT IT'S SOFT? this is just super cheesy and cute with some hopefully hot smut

a/n ~ surprise oneshot! and they were roommates? and there was only one bed? this is all my fave tropes wrapped into one, i had a ton of fun writing it and i hope yall enjoy :')

~ read on ao3 ~

You walked up to your apartment door just as a boy from the class below you walked out—with a wave, a "see ya, Jungkook!" and what appeared to be the last piece of your roommate's bedframe.

"You...sold...your bed?"

"Well, sort of. I borrowed it from that guy for the year while he was studying abroad. So now I'm giving it back to him. Since I'm staying in the city for my new job, though, I wish I could have just kept it. Now I have to actually buy one," Jungkook lamented.

"I mean, okay, but why didn't you just wait to give it back tomorrow when we move out?"

"What do you mean? Today's move-out day. I was just waiting for my brother to get off work to help get all my stuff out of here. I was kind of wondering why you hadn't packed up more, but you've always waited til the last minute to pack for things." Jungkook grinned, recalling your friend group’s spring break trip.

Momentarily distracted by his dig, you defended yourself quickly before returning to the subject. "Hey! At least I always get it done in the end. Better than packing too soon and accidentally giving away your bed a day early. Your new lease doesn't let you move in til the first day of June, right? It's May 31st."

Jungkook's pretty doe eyes went comically wide. "31st? There is no May 31st. It's June 1st. Because yesterday was May 30th. Right?"

"Oh my gosh. You're joking. You have to be joking," you tried not to laugh as you pulled up your Google calendar. "Here, look," you turned the phone around to him. "May 31st."

"Shit," he breathed, pushing the soft shock of hair back from his frozen face. "What did I do?"

You took your phone back, already distracted by your texts as you reassured him. "Don't worry, it’s funny but it's no big deal, I'm just messing with you. You can sleep on the couch for tonight, you'll be fine."

Jungkook grabbed your wrist, making you look up from your screen in surprise. In sitcom-esque slow motion, he swiveled his head sideways and you followed his gaze to the living room, realizing—

"The couch was his too. I gave it back."

"Oh my gosh," you muttered, shaking your head down with a smile. Feeling a little braver on your last full day as roommates, you finally gave Jungkook the warning that had almost slipped out plenty of times over the year. "Jungkookie...you're really lucky you're so cute. Otherwise you wouldn't get away with nearly as much as you do in life.”

"I..." Jungkook dropped your hand, grinning at the usual nickname but unsure how to take the half-compliment. "I'm so sorry. I can't believe I forgot about a whole day, I usually double-check my calendar. I can just take the floor for tonight, I guess? I'll go unpack my blanket again. Sorry, I don't want to be an inconvenience."

"No, no," you cut him off—against your better judgment, but determined to ignore your superficial attraction to him to be a good friend and roommate. "Don't be ridiculous, just sleep in my bed. I mean, if that's okay with you of course. It'll definitely be more comfortable than the floor." He nodded rapidly, eyes still wide but mouth perfectly flatlined like an emoji. "Okay then. No worries. Let's eat, I got us takeout for our last night but it's getting cold."

At the mention of food, Jungkook made a beeline for the plastic bags hanging on your arm, and soon you were back to normal—well, sort of. Eating slightly reheated noodles on the living room floor instead of the couch, you giggled over one last Friday night K-drama episode together and reminisced over all the best memories from your year as roommates. You missed the coziness of your couch more than you thought you might, or maybe you just missed the snuggles you'd shared in its corner on countless nights like this one.

Jungkook had always been cutely touchy with his close friends, but it had taken a while for you two to get comfortable. You had to admit you'd gotten spooked when you first met him, disappearing behind your door after a quick "hi, nice to meet you!" and furiously texting your friend and former roommate Jin in distress. He hadn't warned you the new guy he'd found for your apartment was, in your own words, "stupid hot." Jin had laughed you off, saying it hadn't even occurred to him because he just saw his former soccer teammate "JK" as a kid. To be fair, it probably truly had slipped Jin's notice—he barely believed anyone who told him how objectively attractive he was. But Jin was a good enough friend to both you and Jungkook that he took charge of dissolving the initial tension, immediately bringing y'all over for a "double housewarming" dinner party at the cute new place he now shared with his fiancée. (Thank goodness he'd finally listened when you'd told him she found him attractive. Even if it cost you a roommate of two years, you'd happily take credit for that relationship.) That first invitation had felt suspiciously like a double date, but Jin's cooking and hosting skills broke the ice nicely enough. After that, it only took a few more dinners and video game nights to initiate you into their casual rhythm of hair ruffles and backhugs.

Currently, Jungkook had his arm around you to offer a neck rub while you rested your head on his shoulder, hoping he couldn't feel your pulse beneath his fingers. "Ah, you're going so hard," you half-protested.

"I always go this hard! You never complain," he shot back with a teasing grin.

"Nah, come on, you're gonna leave a mark or something. At least check," you lifted your head, sweeping your hair aside. "Is it all red like Jin always gets?" you joked.

Facing away, you had no way of seeing it, but Jungkook's face had gone red too. "Uh...no, it's fine, it's fine." He glanced back to the TV and turned it off, noticing the episode had ended. "Sorry though, I didn't mean to hurt you. I'm gonna go shower and get ready for bed."

"Hey, no, it's okay!" You tugged on his shirt as he got up, wanting to reverse whatever you’d done to make him seem so uneasy. "I'm not actually hurt or mad at you or anything, I was just messing with you. Again." You smiled lightheartedly, and his face broke into a soft nose-scrunch at the reassurance.

"Okay, good. I was gonna shower anyway though—so uh, see you in bed I guess?"

"Yeah same, see you in bed," you laughed, trying to maintain the ease in your facial expression until the moment he left the room, upon which your internal monologue immediately turned into "aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa."

You couldn't help thinking about Jungkook in the shower. And not even in the usual way that you couldn't help thinking about Jungkook, in the shower. As much as you hated to admit it, Jin was probably right about your feelings for your sweet, dorky roommate going beyond just physical attraction, or friendship. Jungkook was kind, respectful, smart, athletic, artistic, funny, really hot, and you already got along well enough to live together: he really was the ultimate boyfriend material. You were both pleasantly moderate introverts. He shared your same favorite dramas and brand of instant ramen. Even your parents loved him—wait, did they want you to date him too? A strict follower of every social rule that dictated not dating roommates, coworkers, best friends' exes, exes' best friends, etc., you had simply never allowed yourself to consider the possibility until now. You played back your conversations with Jin over the year and considered the sheer amount of the funny stories you told him, or situations where you asked for his advice, or surprises he'd helped you plan, or simply glowing, grinning descriptions of something new you'd noticed, that all ended up being about Jungkook. He'd never even had to bring him up. Damn Jin for being such a good listener.

~

Almost an hour later, when you were already in bed, Jungkook politely knocked on your door. He always took long showers, and tonight you couldn't decide whether you were thankful for the extra time to prepare yourself or even more stressed from the extra time to overthink.

"Come in," you called quietly. Jungkook shuffled into your room, toe-socked feet making their way to the side of the bed you'd rolled over to clear for him. Cautious, he climbed in, and you stayed safely facing away from each other for a while, winding down for the night on your phones like you both normally did in your separate rooms. So spaced out that you couldn't even detect Jungkook's additional body heat, you felt the chill of the air conditioning instead and kept adjusting the blankets to try and achieve maximum insulation.

Jungkook eventually spoke his first words since he'd entered. "Am I hogging the covers? I'm sorry."

"Oh no, you're totally fine, if anything I'm taking up more than you. I'm just always cold, so I usually sleep in, like, a three-layered burrito. But it's fine! Really, no worries."

To your surprise, Jungkook rolled over, propping his head up on an elbow to look at you. "Well...I...we could..." he started, swallowing when you turned to face him. "I mean, you could wear socks! Like I do!" He pulled a foot out from under the sheets and presented it to your face, cackling.

"I think the fuck not," you snorted, shoving the foot away and falling slightly on top of him as you both lost your balance in giggles. "You couldn't catch me dead in your weird-ass socks."

"That's the secret, though!" he insisted. "That's how I stay warm."

"You are warm," you realized. One of your hands had ended up on his chest, the other arm tucked in the side of his torso, and both were burning up. You supposed you'd settled into similar positions on the couch before but you'd never noticed just how much of a human furnace he was. Maybe it was because he hadn't been wearing his toe socks.

Neither of you said anything for a second. You could feel his heart beating at a slightly elevated but respectable rate, and while you wanted to pull away, if only to spare your own nerves, you also...didn't. You were too scared to stay like this, but too scared to move too. Jungkook seemed similarly stuck, blinking down at your hand on his chest, but eventually he unfroze to reach over it and drag you fully onto him by your shoulder. You simply let him handle you, not making any additional moves but silently enjoying the heat he seemed happy to provide. His hand spread over your back to press your torso to his, radiating heat through your thin t-shirt, and you suddenly grew self-conscious that you were braless. But of course you were, who wears a bra to bed? You were fine. This was fine.

"Are you okay? Is this warmer?" Jungkook asked, as gentle as his touch.

"Yeah! Yeah, this is fine," you responded, the answer muffled by your mouth's placement all too near to his neck. You could sense the heat coming off his skin from there too, but it contrasted with the mild coolness of his still-damp hair. It smelled faintly of floral shampoo, and the scent suddenly amplified all your nerves as the implications of how close he was hit you from head to toe. Even the soft fuzz of his socks brushed your bare legs, now intertwined with his. You weren't exactly small, but the warm solidity of Jungkook’s body under you made you feel fully enveloped by him. Though he'd shared a fair amount of skin with you through the course of your friendship, the intimacy of sharing your bed took every touch to another level, and being pressed so flush against him felt unbearable. You couldn't possibly process a whole year of pure pent-up physical attraction right now, much less any other feelings that may or may not have grown with it, especially when you knew he had no reason to feel anything back. And you were roommates. You just needed to sleep it off and then you could both move, and move on, in peace. Hopefully the odds of ever being stuck in a bed with Jungkook again would go way down after tonight.

Not bothering to get up and turn off the weak string of lights above your headboard, you just slowed your breathing and attempted to drift off to sleep. Pretending the deeper breaths weren't so you could get a better whiff of his soft, flowery hair, you laid still for several minutes, successfully ignoring your body's instinctual response.

Eventually, though, it became impossible to ignore his.

~

Jungkook wasn't that hard, okay. He wasn't a teenager; he thought he could control himself around you enough by now that he could just enjoy this last night without giving anything away. He almost felt bad when you invited him into your bed, sensing your reluctance and knowing it was his own fault that you'd had to offer in the first place. But he knew you wouldn't have asked if you weren't truly okay with it, and that confidence gave him the tiniest swell of hope that maybe you were a little bit more than okay. While Jin refused to give away any real insight into what you thought of him, he'd been teasing Jungkook for six months about his crush on you, eventually convincing him to try making your friendship into more once you both graduated and moved on to different roommates. He had just been planning to bring it up in a much better way than the semi that you could definitely feel against your thigh. You had both been silent about it for over five minutes, though, long enough that he could cross his fingers that you were already asleep. He probably didn't have to worry about a thing.

~

"Jungkook?"

You had finally worked up the courage to stop pretending you’d fallen asleep. You felt him freeze up under you—the defined abs that covered his tiny waist tightening, solid chest muscles contracting, and his thighs tensing to trap yours between them, all at once. You froze too, attempting to speak again but no sound coming out.

"_____, guess what!" he blurted to cut you off. Which was good, because you had absolutely zero plans for what to say after that.

"What?"

"It's after midnight," he said, jolting up to point to the digital clock on your side table. "It really is the first day of June now. So, according to the lease, we're officially no longer roommates. Crazy!"

"I mean...yeah," you affirmed, confused. "But also, we're literally sharing a bed right now. In the same room. So until that changes, I would probably still call us roommates." A little too amused by your own clapback, you raised your head to peek into his wide eyes and smiled, a big one that scrunched up your whole face.

And his dick twitched. Yeah, there was no way you could not notice that.

Before you could even finish your gasp, Jungkook spoke again. "I like you. I'm sorry. I like you. I didn't want to say anything while we were roommates because I didn't want to make you uncomfortable, and I definitely didn't mean for this to happen, I'm sorry. You can totally not like me back and it's fine. I'm sorry, I really didn't mean to tell you like this, I just...I like you. A lot."

Shocked into silence for a second, but galvanized by his unnecessary apology, you responded without thinking for once. "Don't say sorry. You don't need to apologize, it's okay. Oh my gosh, I had no idea. I really had no idea. I, uh, I think I like you too? Shit, okay, I thought you were really hot from, like, the day you moved in, and eventually it became more than that but I didn't want to make anything weird because, yeah, we’re roommates, so I pretty much tried to ignore it all year. But then Jin made me realize that you're basically all I think about—or talk to him about, shit, I must have been so annoying—"

"Jin? JIN?" Jungkook grabbed his phone from the side table and wasted no time in blasting off the last meme in his camera roll. You propped yourself up in his arms, both giggling at Jin's quick shot back.

Looking at him now, a big cheesy smile on his face even as he stirred under you, still a little hard, you nodded as if fully understanding for the first time. "Yeah. I like you too."

As he set down his phone and brought his hand around your back again, his smile faded into a smirk. "Wow."

"Yeah...wow," you echoed, nervous and awkward again. You felt your face grow warmer as he looked slowly to your lips, then back up to meet your eyes.

"Can I kiss you?"

Blinking, you shifted your weight back down onto him, bringing your face close enough to hear his intake of breath as your hips brushed his dick. "Can you do more than that?"

"Fuck," he whispered. "Yes."

Jungkook snaked one arm down to your ass and one arm up your back to the nape of your neck, holding you close as he kissed you for the first time, fiercely. He didn't waste another minute hesitating now that he knew you had both wanted this for a year. Passionate but not aggressive, he teased the seam of your mouth with the tip of his tongue and you instantly opened for him, gliding your tongue over his smooth bottom lip as his flicked up to the sensitive roof of your mouth. Squeezing your ass to guide your hips down in small circles against him, he tensed his other hand slightly into your hair and you moaned at the competing sensations. Jungkook broke away to absorb every beautiful noise you made as he discovered you, heavy eyes finding yours before he rolled over to pin you to the bed and bury his face in your neck. He smiled into your skin when you moaned again from the satisfying pressure of his full body over you, and carefully rolled his hips into yours as he covered your jawline in tender kisses. One of your hands carved through his thick hair. As you dug the fingertips of your other hand into his prominent back muscles, you suddenly realized you were both still fully clothed and you really, really did not want him to be. Tugging his t-shirt over his head and throwing it aside, you paused before letting him do the same.

"Wait. Take off your socks. I can't believe I didn't make you do that before any of this. I really just almost had sex with someone wearing toe socks. Kill me," you whined over-dramatically.

"Come on, that would have been hilarious. What a first-time story!" Jungkook said earnestly. "Sure you don't want me to leave them on?"

"Please take them off. Please," you only half-jokingly begged.

"You wanna take 'em off for me?" he teased, wiggling a foot in front of you.

"Fine, whatever it takes!" You flung his sock across the room, reaching for his other foot below the covers to get rid of the other one.

He fell on top of you, giggling again, but as soon as you shut him up with your lips he snapped out of it, eagerly deepening the kiss while his warm hands traveled up under your shirt. Smoothing over the curves of your torso and reaching up to firmly grasp your breasts, he moaned into you and you whined back as his thumbs brushed your hardening nipples. He was incredibly physically precise, each movement graceful yet sharp and intentional. You felt deeply lucky to experience this dimension of him, the most perfect and natural expression of his contradictory nature. Equally loving, giving, overachieving, and sensual—with a side of weird socks and Gen Z meme literacy—that was your Jungkook.

"I can't believe this is happening," Jungkook murmured as he pulled your shirt over your head. "I can't believe I get to see you like this. You're so—ohhh." He trailed off, taking in the fully naked glory of your top half for the first time. His head immediately ducked to your chest, sucking dark bruises into the low-lit hollow of your breasts. You squirmed under his hold on the dip of your waist, whimpering, but the grip of your hands in his shiny black locks let him know you didn't really want him to stop. Grinding against his now rock-hard dick, you eventually couldn't take the friction anymore and reached down to try and pull off both of your pajama pants at the same time. Jungkook just laughed.

He paused to help you out, rolling off of you to take care of his own sweatpants, and you kicked off your pajama pants and underwear as Jungkook slowly let his erection spring free above his waistband. You'd never thought a dick could be pretty before, but it honestly made sense that his would be as perfect as the rest of his body. "Fuck," you swore softly, mouth watering. Jungkook raised an eyebrow at you, and you scrambled to lick the tip as if on instinct, eliciting a much more emphatic "Fuuuuuck!" from him. He spread his legs to let you crawl between them, holding tenuous eye contact as you smirked at his sensitivity. Teasing a single finger up his shaft, you followed its path with your tongue and he let out a deliciously high, shaky moan.

"Please," Jungkook choked out when you approached him, lips pursed. He praised you breathlessly as you tightened a hand around his length and began to sink down. "You feel so good already. Fuck." Closing your eyes, you hollowed your cheeks to accommodate his generous size and dipped your head, sucking him in as far as you could go. He was so responsive, you learned what he liked quickly, and savored each whimper as you stroked his balls gently or swirled your tongue over his slit. You licked all the way from his head to the base and he cried out. Bringing a hand to the back of your head, he didn't quite hold you down, leaving enough slack for you to move if you wanted to, but you submitted to his touch and stayed a second with nearly his whole length in your mouth. And then you swallowed.

"Stop! Stop, please, or I'll cum." He pulled you off by your hair, bringing your forehead to his as you realigned your bodies. "You're so good for me," he professed warmly. "I wanna be good for you."

"Then fuck me," you surprised him by answering bluntly. "Please, I want you so bad."

Jungkook groaned, arching his hips up against you and coating his dick in your wetness. Bringing himself back under control, he pinned you under his thighs and reached down to open you up with a finger. You felt so much more relaxed with him than you had with any previous boyfriend or hookup, and he slid into your entrance fairly easily. You moaned right away when he brushed his thumb over your clit, and he responded with a muttered "Fuck it, you’re so wet already," pulling his finger out and stroking it up your folds as he lined up.

"You're on the pill, right? For your periods," he confirmed.

"Yeah, of course. You really think I'd let you hit it raw otherwise?" you shot back teasingly, trying to hide how touched you were that he remembered from a few months ago, when he'd driven you to pick up your prescription since your car was in the shop. That was your Jungkook.

"No," he said sheepishly. "You're smart."

You smiled up at him fondly, ruffling his hair. "You're smart too. And sweet. And hot. And your dick is enormous. It's kind of unfair."

"Unfair!" he protested. "How can I be unfair when you're perfect?"

"Perfect? Shut up," you dismissed him. "Now I know you're lying. You cheeseball."

"I'm not lying! You're perfect for me."

"Oh, so you're just a hopeless romantic. Where did that come from? What am I getting into?" you fussed playfully.

"Okay, we can make fun of each other later, like always, but right now can I just get into you?" Jungkook pleaded, directing you back to the task at hand.

"Oh my gosh. I can't believe this, you're worse than Jin. That was actually pretty impressive—" Surprised, you half-laughed, half-admired his wordplay, but were silenced by both his lips and his first few inches gliding into you.

Not yet breaking your kiss, just absorbing your moans into his mouth as he stretched you out, Jungkook eased himself all the way in. He drank in every detail of your body's response to keep careful track of your comfort. You tilted your ass up against him, absorbing the fullness of his big dick immersed in your walls, and he froze. "Pretty impressive?" he whispered.

"Jungkook," you breathed back in pure pleasure, too overwhelmed to sass back.

"Can I move?" he asked sweetly.

"Fuck. Yes."

Jungkook's brows narrowed as his eyes turned darker, and he snapped his hips up into yours once, twice, before setting a fierce pace that had you crying out with each stroke. He hadn't lost touch on your clit the whole time, and he began to circle his fingers to pleasure you there too, building up an almost unbearable tension throughout your whole body.

"Fuck...fuck! Jungkook!" you chanted. His eyes overcame their fluttering to meet yours. Jungkook stilled, then ground down on you in one big, slow, circle, drinking in your blissed-out expression.

"Harder?" he whispered. Jungkook loved a challenge.

"Sure, harder. Why the fuck not," you keened, high-pitched and desperate. He could split you in half at this point, leave you unable to walk for days, and you'd love it.

Jungkook made a small, delighted noise at your eagerness, kissing you quickly before flipping you over and positioning you on all fours, sheathing himself in you again. He ran his hands along your torso to clutch your breasts from underneath, holding himself up against you with solely the strength of his thighs and his core. Pulsing his hips into you carefully, slowly, to let you get used to the deeper angle, his fingertips skimmed your nipples tantalizingly, warming you further. He dropped one hand to prop himself up and slowly traveled the other down to your center. The lustful, elated exhale you let out when he rubbed your clit made him snap his hips forward, tilting you into the bed before you could engage your thighs to push back against his. Your continuous moans encouraged him that you were enjoying this just as much as him, loving how he remained fully attentive to your pleasure while pounding into you to pursue his own high. He fucked you like a high-intensity workout, pushing his unreasonably built body to its limits of speed and strength. You couldn't help wishing you'd taken him up on more of his offers to hit the gym together, but he seemed to get off on your breathlessness, wanting to give you his all and push you past your limits too. His fingers working as quickly as his hips, heat swelled up inside you, and when you felt sure that the tension in your core was about to break, you turned your head to cry out to him.

"Jungkookie, Jungkook—nhngh, I'm gonna cum."

"Ahhhh," he moaned. "Me too, _____. You feel so amazing, ahh—you're so perfect for me." The praise warmed your heart and your core, and soon you came around him with a long, drawn-out whine. He fucked you deep through each spasm, sending you into hot, heady overstimulation as he shuddered and emptied himself into you. When you finally collapsed under him, legs sore and shaking, he pulled out of you gently and lowered his lips to your lower lips with great care. Jungkook meticulously kissed from your swollen clit to your entrance, soft as a whisper, and you breathed out in overwhelmed bliss as his tongue emerged to tenderly nudge every drop of his cum into your opening. The gesture of aftercare, just as soothing as it was inexplicably hot, bloomed an affection within you that almost made your heart hurt. You rolled over, stretching your legs out, and he looked up at you from between them. His hair was a beautifully sweaty mess, and he smiled in sweet satisfaction with your wetness adorning his chin. That was your Jungkook.

"Don't go anywhere," he said softly, kneading your thighs with his hands.

"Well, I have to do the whole pee-after-sex thing. But after that, where would I go? There's only one bed in this apartment now," you couldn't help teasing.

"Hey! If I hadn't given away my bed, none of this would have happened," he complained cutely, pulling himself up to big-spoon you. “Just stay with me.”

"I will. I know," you murmured back. "And I'm so happy you did." You shifted back, closer against him, and he buried his face in your neck.

"You know, I was gonna miss being roommates so much," he said thoughtfully. "But I'm so okay with not being your roommate now if I get to be your...your..." He grinned into your shoulder, suddenly too shy to say it.

You turned to face him, holding his pink cheeks in both of your hands and kissing his nose. Knowing this would be just the first intimate moment of many made you both flush with an easy, sweet joy.

"My Jungkook. You're my Jungkook."

[zintranslations]

Kaleidoscope of Death, Ch. 120

Kaleidoscope of Death by Xi Zixu Link to Chinese / Novel Updates

Chapter 120: The Thirteenth Door

Right after the new year, it came about time for Gu Longming to enter his door.

Ruan Nanzhu selected a sixth door hint slip, and on it was a name familiar to all—Minotaur. A monster from ancient Greek mythology with a bull's head and a human's body that guarded a maze.

In the myth, it was a creature of an extremely violent temperament born of a human and a white bull. Shut away in the Labyrinth on the island of Crete, it ate seven pairs of boys and girls each year. Then it was killed by a bastard son of Athens, Theseus. Point was, there wasn't much intel to gain about the door from a hint like this. Only once they went in and encountered the actual situation could they connect it to the hint on the paper slip.

Lin Qiushi also showed this hint to Gu Longming ahead of time. After Gu Longming received it, he expressed his thorough gratitude for Lin Qiushi, and Lin Qiushi too was forthright with a vaccination—he said that in this door, he could not be responsible for Gu Longming's life, and Gu Longming ought to prepare himself accordingly.

Gu Longming agreed to every stipulation, and said he had already prepared himself for never coming out.

Their time of entry was roughly the tenth of the lunar new year, when celebrations were trailing off, leisurely vacations were coming to an end, and everybody grew busy again.

Lin Qiushi readied everything and began to wait for the door.

The tenth quickly came. It was a bright, sunny afternoon, and few people were in the mansion. There was only Lin Qiushi sitting in the living room eating Lu Yanxue's freshly cooked pumpkin seeds. Lu Yanxue's culinary skills were, as usual, the best; the pumpkin seeds she fried up were flavored with the five spices and fragrant as all hell. Lin Qiushi could pass an entire afternoon with just a handful of the stuff.

Ruan Nanzhu had already gotten changed and was waiting upstairs. Lin Qiushi saw that it was about time, and so hoisted his hefty backpack and headed upstairs to go look for him.

Due to their last door, Lin Qiushi intentionally stuffed his bag with a great number of food items. Daily necessities from outside could be brought inside, but weapons that were more against the spirit of the doors were not. Guns and other firearms, for example, could not be brought inside.

Once you'd entered the doors, of course, there might exist some special limitations, like in the sanitarium door when the NPC told them the rule where they could not eat food brought in from the outside. The reality was that these kinds of limitations were rare, but all Lin Qiushi wanted to achieve was the principle of Better Safe Than Sorry. At any rate, the condition from the tenth door where they had to open a chest if they wanted to eat had left quite the shadow on his psyche.

Lin Qiushi entered Ruan Nanzhu's bedroom and sat with him on the bed for a while. Then he felt the atmosphere around him change. It took only the time of a blink for Ruan Nanzhu, who had been sitting right beside him, to disappear without a trace. Lin Qiushi pushed open the bedroom door in front of him and saw that what had originally been the hallway was now a series of twelve black metal doors. What a familiar sight.

He walked to the sixth door and gave it a tug. The next moment, Lin Qiushi was sucked in by an immense force. The scenery around him was also altering dramatically, and by the time he opened his eyes again, he could feel a faint rocking beneath his feet.

Lin Qiushi took a closer look, and discovered that he'd appeared on a large old ship. It was just about sunset, and there were black clouds frighteningly low in the sky, as if they were going to smother the horizon at any moment. Inky seawater tossed before him, blown into violent waves by the winds.

Lin Qiushi smelled the gamy salt of the ocean, and because of the excessive waves, the ancient deck beneath his feet was ceaseless in its swaying. He saw that on the floorboards, there were seaweed-clung creatures clutching at the wood, making for an immensely uncomfortable sight.

Lin Qiushi took a few steps forward and saw in the ship cabin a dim-glowing light. He followed the corridor to the interior, and heard miserable wailing coming from inside.

"Uwaaaa, why am I here? What the hell did you all do to me?!" It had been a while since he last heard these cries of a newbie—Lin Qiushi was actually a bit surprised. He spotted the crying person immediately. It was a young woman, wiping at her tears with her hands. "You goddamn perverts, you guys must have kidnapped me. I'm going to call the cops and have you all arrested!!"

Most people were listening to her sob in silence. Newbies, after all, only ever reacted in so many ways: most cried; some tried to run; and some, of the truly psychologically frail sort, came in and pretty much had an immediate meltdown.

Lin Qiushi stood where he was. He noticed that around this girl were a few people who didn't look so good, who also seemed in various degrees of panic. They clearly weren't prepared to enter a door, and were likely newbies like the girl. But at least they weren't wailing endlessly like the young woman, and were still calm in comparison.

Lin Qiushi's gaze searched through the crowd and very quickly found its target—a woman seated in a corner and smiling at him.

The woman wore a long dress—the same outfit Ruan Nanzhu wore before they came in.

Lin Qiushi had the script in his head, and he took his time approaching the woman and holding out his hand: "Yu Linlin."

"Zhu Meng." The woman took his hand and smiled. "The red thread of destiny found us inside this door, let's cherish this meeting."

Lin Qiushi couldn't help but laugh.

"Indeed. Let's cherish this meeting."

Really, this little drama queen of his—putting on a show even when there was no stage to be had.

Just as the two were talking, a young man came tumbling in through the door. Though his face was unfamiliar, his clothes told Lin Qiushi his identity—it was Gu Longming, who'd agreed to meet with Lin Qiushi over the internet.

Gu Longming was entirely soaked. Once he came in he began to curse under his breath: "fuckers, throwing me on a lifeboat—why don't you just throw me into the ocean huh? Goddamn jealous of my beauty or what—"

Though he kept his voice down, Lin Qiushi's hearing was superb, and so could easily hear all the crap he was spewing. For a moment, Lin Qiushi himself didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

Of course, he didn't laugh. He only cleared his throat once and covered his mouth with his hand, swallowing down the urge to smile. Gu Longming's eyes lapped the gathered people and very quickly fell upon Lin Qiushi and Ruan Nanzhu. He came over with a bright grin, greeting the two as if they'd just met completely by coincidence.

As a matter of act, this little trick where they faked a chance encounter was only useful for the earlier doors. Once in the later doors, that old fox-spirit manifested in everyone, and not having a partner actually made you the odd one out.

As for whether or not somebody would identify them as part of the same crew, Lin Qiushi used to worry about that. Now though, not so much.

The cabin of the old ship wasn't big, nor was it bright. The only lighting equipment was a handful of tiny kerosene lamps overhead, flickering periodically with the sway of the ship.

The sky grew darker outside, and the number of people kept increasing. Finally, it stopped at the count of fourteen.

Everybody assessed their surroundings as they met up with their own teammates. The crowd seemed to be very quickly divided up into teams, with the handful of newbies left out. Without much choice, they had to make up their own team.

Just as the crowd grew noisy with discussion, a middle-aged man came in from the outside. His get-up looked a bit like a medieval pirate, and he carried a swaying kerosene lamp in his hand.

"Welcome to the Black Skerry," the man spoke. His voice sounded quite raspy, like the effects of long-term drinking or smoking had brought about irreversible damage to his throat. "I hope you all have a good time here."

After he finished saying this, he laughed like a maniac, and his high-pitched laughter, like fingernails scoring a chalkboard, sent goosebumps rising along the skin.

"In ten days, the Black Skerry will reach harbor," the man said. "Our voyage will end then, so please enjoy our wonderful time together."

Just as he finished speaking, somebody rushed out of the cabin. Lin Qiushi first thought that this person had gotten scared, but not long after, there came from outside the sound of violent vomiting—it seemed that some unlucky bastard was seasick.

"Where in the world are we?" The sobbing young girl had also been scared by the man before her, and she spoke: "are we filming a show? I'm really, really scared, can I please quit? I don't want to play anymore, I'm begging you…"

The man completely ignored her. He merely went on watching the crowd with a cool gaze.

The girl seemed to want to go up and take hold of him, but when she got to his side she suddenly stopped, face draining of all color. She then backed up a few steps, as if she'd seen something truly terrifying.

Lin Qiushi's eyesight wasn't as good as Ruan Nanzhu's, and due to the dim lights he didn't see a thing. It was Ruan Nanzhu who quietly explained the situation to him:

"That person's covered in some sort of black insect."

Gu Longming shivered.

"Is he dead or alive then?"

"I don't know," Ruan Nanzhu said. "Doesn't look too good either way."

Under typical circumstances, only the NPC who provided them with the key information was somewhat normal. If even that NPC wasn't normal, then there really weren't any normal people to speak of.

Lin Qiushi hadn't imagined that their door this time would be an ancient ship. And by the looks of things, the time limit was ten days.

"Come along, I'll take to to where you'll sleep," the man said. "It'll be dark soon…and it'll rain."

After this, he began that manic laugh again, and the group was even more disturbed.

The man brought them to the guest cabins and began divvying up the rooms.

Most of the rooms here were doubles, with a rare triple here and there. At first, Lin Qiushi was assigned a double, but Gu Longming brazenly went and found a man to switch room numbers with, strong-arming them into a triple.

"You'll bargain for even this sort of thing?" Lin Qiushi shot Gu Longming a look of admiration.

"Well I'm scared of dying, aren't I…" Gu Longming said. He didn't want to sleep alone, and though it wasn't quite right to be a third wheel, being a third wheel was much better than being dead.

Ruan Nanzhu’s smile was inscrutable.

"That's fair."

They'd planned to inspect the entire ship, but because the night was already so dark, moving about outside would be too dangerous. They would rest first, and wait until tomorrow to make plans.

And so the three got their key and went to their room, getting into bed after quickly washing up.

When Ruan Nanzhu went to change, Gu Longming took the opportunity to poke at Lin Qiushi, whispering, "yo, not cool man, how come you didn't tell me you had such a pretty girlfriend?"

Lin Qiushi answered a vague: "…mh."

"Oh she's stunning," Gu Longming said with a sigh. "If I had a girlfriend like that I'd want to stick around her every day too."

As he spoke, he looked to Lin Qiushi with an expression that was both envy and admiration.

Lin Qiushi watched him back and wondered how he would react if he knew Ruan Nanzhu was drag queen. Of course, it wasn't something he could tell Gu Longming now. Gu Longming was not yet part of Obsidian, and the fact that Ruan Nanzhu wore drag was Obsidian's biggest most vital secret…

After Ruan Nanzhu got changed, he came back inside.

"What are you two talking about?"

"Nothing," Lin Qiushi answered in brief. "He said you were pretty."

Ruan Nanzhu replied with a meaningful oh.

Gu Longming: "…" Why did a chill suddenly go down his back?

The beds on the ship all emanated a damp smell—very uncomfortable for the people lying on top. At this point, the waves and wind were getting bigger, and even the sleeping quarters were beginning to rock. Lin Qiushi remembered that ridiculously seasick, endlessly vomiting pal of theirs from earlier and thought that that guy was pretty much done for.

The sky outside gradually darkened in entirety, leaving only the bellowing winds and the sound of waves beating against each other. With his eyes shut, Lin Qiushi grew drowsy—but before he could fall asleep, he was woken by a sudden crack of thunder. It was like lightning had struck right above their heads. With the loud boom, all three of them awoke in an instant.

After that, it was the pattering pour of rain. The rushing rain and the howling wind—they seemed on the verge of destroying everything.

Their quarters rocked even harder. Lin Qiushi sat up in his bed.

Through the window, he looked to the black evening outside. He saw, however, two illuminated lights. It seemed like the only light sources on deck were kerosene lamps, but how did these lamps stay so bright in the middle of a thunderstorm…? Just as Lin Qiushi wondered this, he suddenly felt that there was something off about those two lights, and Ruan Nanzhu, sitting behind him, spoke up quietly:

"Don't look anymore."

Lin Qiushi, "hm?"

"Those aren't lights," Ruan Nanzhu said. "Those are eyes."

A pair of yellow, inhuman eyes. The owner of the eyes spied through the darkness with malicious intent, as if a beast looking for its prey.

Lin Qiushi instantly looked away, and asked, "what is that thing?"

"I don't know, I can't tell," Ruan Nanzhu said. "The shape is humanoid, but it doesn't seem to be human."

Lin Qiushi's brows lightly furrowed, but by the time he looked out the window once more, the eyes were gone.

Thunder rumbled on and on, and that stench of ocean salt grew thicker and more cloying.

Ruan Nanzhu climbed into Lin Qiushi's bed, and holding each other, the two very quickly returned to sleep. However, the only bachelor present Gu Longming didn't have such luck. Lying beside Lin Qiushi, he stared with plaintive eyes, thinking that in the following days, he'd be fed enough dog food to bloat.

The rainstorm lasted until dawn, and though the rain let up, the weather did not turn any sunnier. Black storm clouds still hovered over the ship, and when the alarm rang, Lin Qiushi actually thought it was not yet morning. He checked the time, however, and saw that it was 8AM. It was just still dark outside.

"Good morning," Ruan Nanzhu greeted Lin Qiushi.

"Good morning. It's so dark outside today."

"It's probably going to keep raining," Ruan Nanzhu said. He walked out onto deck with Lin Qiushi and watched the black waters roil underneath the ship.

Looking up, they couldn't see any land, only the endless swath of sea. Only the old ship beneath their feet felt like any sort of reality.

This sort of isolating environment was easily taxing on the psyche. Even for Lin Qiushi, the scene before them was discomforting.

"Come on, let's go get breakfast," Gu Longming called to the two.

"He's pretty thick-skinned," Ruan Nanzhu commented after hearing Gu Longming's call.

"Yeah," Lin Qiushi said. "His nerves are petty good."

Inside the doors, you didn't have to be too smart, but you definitely had to be brave enough. Before terrifying situations, fright could make a person abandon a large part of their cognitive abilities. The smartest person could lack a strong heart and still do worse inside the door than the obtuse, oblivious Cheng Qianli.

The three went to the dining area and found there an atmosphere that could very well be called lifeless.

Lin Qiushi didn't know why at first. After he saw the menu, however, he couldn't help but also feel a touch of depression.

All the ship offered was fish. And it wasn't even fresh fish—Gu Longming poked at a dead-eyed staring head with his chopsticks and said, "is this thing even edible?"

It was disgusting just to look at.

"It looks gross," Lin Qiushi said. "Try a bit?"

Gu Longming took a bit of meat from the gills and gave it a taste. His expression twisted.

"Fuck, did they deduct the food budget for this door or what? It's disgusting. It's like they’ve had it outside for three days. You try it?"

Lin Qiushi, "oh no, no thank you."

Gu Longming: "…"

The breakfast served in the dining room was, for the most part, stale fish. Aside from that there was only flavorless noddles and peas. The environment had already been vicious enough, but the food in front of them now was salt on top of the wound.

But Lin Qiushi and Ruan Nanzhu didn't care at all. After seeing the inedible breakfast they snuck back to their room and fetched from their bags the food they'd prepared.

Gu Longming watched as they pulled out a bottle of chili sauce, eyes bulging out.

"You guys even brought Lao Gan Ma? Did you come here to picnic?"

"Want some?" Lin Qiushi drizzled the Lao Gan Ma over some noodles they'd brought out of the dining hall.

"Yeah yeah yeah. More please." Gu Longming's expression was shameless.

With breakfast finally done, they got ready to search the ship.

There were a total of three decks in the ship, constructed a bit like the sailing vessels of the great nautical era of the Middle Ages. It was extremely old, was all, covered in the marks and traces of times past.

Beside that NPC, they didn't see any other crew members on deck; there was likely only the one NPC on the entire ship. Wait for the ship's return was the mission the NPC left for them this time, but Lin Qiushi had thorough reason to believe that if they couldn't find the door in ten day's time, this voyage of theirs would cycle back and repeat—and they'd experience the ten days all over again.

When Lin Qiushi climbed onto the second deck, he heard a sort of thumping sound, and was uncertain if Ruan Nanzhu and Gu Longming had heard it as well. So he asked, "did you guys hear that?"

"What?" Gu Longming didn't seem to have heard.

Ruan Nanzhu said, "I think I did, but not very clearly."

"I think it came from the corner…" Lin Qiushi followed the sound forward. "Let's go see."

But before they could get close, Lin Qiushi was hit with a thick, fishy stench. It was disgusting and nauseating to smell; fortunately Cheng Yixie wasn't here, or he might have passed out immediately upon smelling it.

The source of the sound and smell was the same room, and they were close enough now that both Gu Longming and Ruan Nanzhu could hear the thumping noise as well.

The three of them slowed their steps, and through the window, looked into the room.

It was a kitchen with knives and other tools hanging inside. The most eye-catching thing, however, was the dense masses of dead fish hung up on hooks all over the sides.

A person in an apron stood in the center of the room with their back towards them and head down. They were chopping something. After some observation, Gu Longming almost gagged, and said, "don't tell me he's making our breakfast—"

Ruan Nanzhu was very calm.

"It's possible."

Gu Longming did gag. He'd even had a bite of that fish that morning.

Lin Qiushi gave Gu Longming a sympathetic pat on the shoulder.

This person in the kitchen, however, was the second living NPC they'd found on the ship.

The three of them stood watching in the kitchen doorway for a while, and saw that besides chopping fish, this person didn't do much of anything else. And so they decided to go see elsewhere first.

Very soon, they discovered a more peculiar room. This room was locked, and curtains were drawn over the window. It was quiet inside, but they could still smell that thick waft of stale fish. Lin Qiushi initially thought the smell had clung to them from the kitchen, but after a careful sniff, found that it was coming from inside the room.

"Do we go in?" Gu Longming was pressed against the window trying to look in, but he could see nothing.

Ruan Nanzhu gave this some thought, before saying, "let's try," and getting out a hairpin to pick the lock.

Watching his adept motions, Gu Longming's eyes widened. Then Gu Longming glanced at Lin Qiushi.

"Is this…is this a basic skillset that y'all come with?"

Lin Qiushi grinned as he joked, "yeah. You have to learn to pick locks if you want to join us."

As he said this, there was a click. Ruan Nanzhu really got the lock open. But oddly enough, after he unlocked the door and gave it a push, he found that though the door lock was undone, there was another lock hanging on the inside. The chain on that lock held the door closed, and they could at most manage a crack—it couldn't be opened at all.

"Wait," Lin Qiushi suddenly said, stopping Ruan Nanzhu from going up and pushing the door. "Stop for a second. There's movement inside."

Ruan Nanzhu halted, and just as he stopped mid-step, a hand, sharp-nailed and covered in scales, reached out of the door. And through that crack in the door, a pair of yellow eyes looked out, peering at the world outside with malicious intent.

Translator’s Note:

The name of the ship could more simply be translated as “Black Reef,” but “Black Skerry” sounds more like a ship name? Let me know if you think otherwise (or know if it’s a specific reference to something).

Lao Gan Ma is a brand of **hot sauce (edited: 7/26), as you can probably tell from context. The original next never uses “hot sauce” though, and just call it Lao Gan Ma in both the prose and the dialogue.

[Ch. 119] | [Ch. 121]

[i-cant-sing]

Hello! I was wondering if you could do headcanoan of yandere L from Death Note. If not then that's fine, just ignore this :) Hope you have a wonderful day!

Yandere! L Lawliet Headcanon:

Hey! Thank you for requesting! I love Death Note. Misa is my favourite character. (Idk if I wanna be her or be with her😣) Great show overall though! Anyways, hope you enjoy this!

Check out my MASTERLIST for more!

Yandere! L Lawliet:

He’s going to be an obsessive and manipulative yandere.

He’s going to be observing you a lot, researching each and every little detail about you. The more he finds stuff about you, the more he’s going to be obsessed with you. He’ll have a lot information, even finding dirt on you that never existed in the first place; you know, for safety measures in case you're not as compliant as he wants you to be.

He’s not going to kidnap you. No. You’re going to fall into his lap willingly. He will spin a web of lies, make sure you are in certain situations with certain kind of people, play all the right tunes until you realise that the only place safe is by his side. But you don’t need to worry about getting hurt. No harm will ever come to you. They are just there to instil some fear in you. He’d have their heads if they ever touched a hair on your head. And you all do know that L has great fighting skills. 

The moment you come running into his arms, crying about how you just barely escaped some very bad people, he’s never going to let you go. You came to him for help. You need to listen to everything he says; follow his orders to a T, no matter how strange they sound. Yes (Y/n), I think you should just stay at home. Hmm, maybe not. They might’ve followed you there. I think its best you stay with me for a while until we find a more permanent solution.

Once you’re with him, he’s going to give you some sort of nickname or a fake name too, to protect you from Kira. He’s going to burn all previous records of your existence, saving you from both Kira and from anyone who could come looking for you. No one, not even Watari will know about you. Its for your own safety, (Y/n). Two birds with one stone really. 

He’s not going to lock you up somewhere. No. You’re allowed to leave anytime you want. But you wont. Not when he tells you about all the dangers out there, and the “reality” that you couldn’t make it on your own for a day without him, not when such awful, awful beings exist in the world. 

He doesn’t have to always be near you to know what you’re up to. He has cameras all over the place, even in bathrooms. Oh you’re not comfortable? But what if something happens and he’s not there to help.

He will make you become super paranoid, but hey at least you’re docile. And he doesn’t really complain the way you cling to him with fear, the way you cry into his chest and thank him for keeping you safe.

His two favourite activities are: watching you sleep and feeding you his desserts. He gets some sort of peace of mind watching you sleep. He just cant believe it that you’re right there. All that is sweet and pure and innocent lies in front of him, wrapped up in a blanket on his bed. He’ll be your saviour, your knight in shining in armour. 

And feeding you his sweets and desserts just makes him feel really good about himself, especially the way you lick your bottom lip and thumb to clean up the mess you make. He’s your provider and your protector. He will take it as an insult if you don’t finish it up though.

He loves it when you guys sleep together. He gets to see you up close, brushing your out of your face as he memorises all your features. You just look so vulnerable. Anything could happen to you and you wouldn’t be able defend yourself. But he promises himself that he’ll guard you with his life, pressing a kiss to your forehead.

I think that L will actually realise that he loves you way after his obsession began. He didn’t think he could be capable of the emotion honestly. But now you’re just making him feel all types of ways. 

Once all the pieces fall into place and you finally fall in love with him, life’s nice. You can do whatever you want, but you won’t because now you only want to please him, have his favour. You seek for his approval for everything. How could you not? He’s always right and he’s done so much for you. Its only right you pay the debt.

L isn’t delusional. He knows the way he’s doing things is wrong, but its the result that really matters. He’s doing all this to make you realise that he’s the one for you, that you are only safe when you are by his side, that you’re in love with him just the way he is.  

Man his voice actor was *chef's kiss* Hope you liked it! Requests are open! :)

[canary3d-obsessed]

Restless Rewatch: The Untamed, Episode 22 part one

(Masterpost) (Other Canary Stuff) (Previous Post)

Warning: Spoilers for All 50 Episodes!

Not Quite Like Old Times

We ended the previous episode in daylight, with Lan Wangji putting Wei Wuxian and swordpoint and declaring his undying love lecturing him about his lack of sword skills.

We start this episode in full night, with the two of them sitting on a roof together. Presumably they spent the missing scenes getting dinner in the mess hall, doing some laundry, and definitely not making out. Fic writers, do your thing.

Finally, FINALLY, Lan Wangji has chilled out enough to actually sit and listen to Wei Wuxian, instead of yelling at and/or physically attacking him. The Zoloft is really helping!

Wei Wuxian is indulging in romantic recollections of their first rooftop encounter. Lan Wangji, who has loved him since he first laid eyes on him and who wrote a whole song with an entire music video about their love, featuring that very same rooftop encounter, shuts him down so completely he might as well have whipped out Bichen again.

First he corrects his description of events by pointing out they were fighting, not talking, back then. Then when Wei Wuxian continues in his charming, smiley reminiscing vein, Lan Wangji says "things change, how could they stay the same" with a deep, sad, weariness.

He seems like an old man in this moment, and I feel for him, really, I do. But he's not the one who's carrying the actual essence of death around inside him. Wei Wuxian is being much more generous in this interaction than Lan Wangji is.

Wei Wuxian thanks him for not narkng to Jiang Yanli about the whole talisman/forced suicide/ghost hummer/ghost flaying thing he did back in Yiling. Like there is any way Lan Wangji would ever tell Jiang Yanli, of all people, something like that about Wei Wuxian.  He's lying to his own brother to cover for Wei Wuxian, and Wei Wuxian totally doesn't get it.

(more after the cut)

Unfortunately, there's no reason Wei Wuxian SHOULD get it, at this point; Lan Wangji has not communicated anything but disapproval to him since his return, and Wei Wuxian, despite their (apparently temporary) mental linkup in the Turtle cave, is not a mind reader.

Lan Wangji is so hurt here, and Wei Wuxian appears to ignore that, continuing to smile and laugh; he’s still sunny, still happy. Seriously, they are so tonally out of step with each other in this conversation, it's excruciating.

Lan Wangji: I’m feeling good about my tear-holding-back ability Wei Wuxian: do I look more fuckable sitting up? Or leaning back?  

But every one of these smiles is an absolute lie. This is Wei Wuxian appeasing an authority figure; baffling with bullshit and skating by on charm. This is not a young man confiding in his soulmate.

Even when the conversation shifts, and they talk seriously about what is going on with him, Wei Wuxian is barely confiding anything. He briefly acknowledges that he was in the Burial Mounds for three months, and shudders at the memory, but Lan Wangji doesn't respond to that other than to look away from his face.

This is almost the last thing Wei Wuxian will ever say to anyone about that experience.  He only alludes to it again when Jiang Cheng visits the settlement and talks smack about their corpse turnips. Lan Wangji says he wants to know why Wei Wuxian’s cultivation changed, but he really doesn’t; he just wants to convince him to change it back.

Wei Wuxian explains about using Lan clan techniques to protect his temperament, as well as the flute and talismans, to control the resentful energy. This is a good reminder that Wei Wuxian was never a bad student. He was an outstanding cultivator within the Jiang Clan, and he learned a hell of a lot during his time in Gusu, despite getting expelled for fighting.

His original golden core was stronger than Jiang Cheng's, even though he apparently started cultivating later. Yes, he fell asleep during meditation that one time in Episode 43, but that's not because he's bad at meditating, it's because he was tired from getting railed all night by his boyfriend stabbed in the gut by his nephew.

Lan Wangji eventually manages to ask him a question like an interested fellow human being sharing knowledge, instead of like an authoritarian dick calling him to account.  

Side note: I still am flopping around trying to find good-sounding English terms for Chinese philosophical concepts. I kind of like "ghost path" vs "sword path" for the two styles of cultivation - I don't know where I saw that, apologies to the translator. I like "necromancy" for the part where the dead are reanimated and controlled, because we definitely have that in English. But there are many layers of nuance in these conversations that English is not equipped to render in a natural-sounding way.

Lan Wangji tells him, again, that it's dangerous, but this time he does it in a gentler and more poetic way, saying it's like taking grain from a burning fire, and says he's in danger of becoming the novel version of Wei Wuxian a demonic cultivator.  Wei Wuxian, also gently and seriously, says he knows.

Then he immediately goes back to his lightest tone and promises, with his three-fingers gesture, that he will not fall into demonic cultivation. This gesture is basically the Wei Wuxian "I am totally fucking lying" salute.

He is totally fucking lying, and he MUST know it. He's baking the Yin tiger amulet every day during his meditation, getting ready to use it against Wen Ruohan, getting ready to take over his army of the dead.

He has the audacity to ask Lan Wangji, "do you believe me?" and Lan Wangji, also totally fucking lying, nods.  Their relationship is just as broken right now as it was before their courtyard sparring session.

You can tell it's broken, because after they've reached this apparent place of peace, Wei Wuxian just hops down off the roof and LEAVES Lan Wangji sitting by himself. When has Wei Wuxian ever been like "gotta go!" with Lan Wangji? The last time they were here, he spent the night sleeping on the roof tiles just so he could be near him.

As he leaves, Lan Wanji stands up and says "let me help you." Wei Wuxian is not a fan of that idea, at all, if his expression is any guide.

He agrees, though, and leaves smiling, apparently for real, but maybe just practicing for all the fake smiles in his future.

Hooray for War

In the morning, Nie Mingjue makes an angry speech to the 2 dozen cultivators who apparently make up the army. Extras are expensive, y'all.

The senior cultivators are standing to the right or left of him, with the Lan brothers bracketing the Yunmeng sibs. Lan Wangji and Jiang Cheng are both staking their claim to Wei Wuxian, while Lan Xichen is standing in the spot closest to Nie Mingjue; Nie Huaisang is on the opposite side with the Jins.

All of the random cultivators yell a war chant in response to Nie Mingjue's speech, while the senior cultivators are like, we don't have to do that yelling stuff, thank goodness.

Nie Mingjue's war outfit includes metal (ish) epaulets on his shoulders and a totally not-kinky belt featuring multiple rings with nothing attached to them (yet) and an angry demon face right above his junk.

Nie Mingjue says we're going to storm into Nightless city and I'm going to chop off Wen Ruohan's head! By which he means, I'm going to get captured and get my ass beat, and then my murder-babie ex-boyfriend who had this belt specially made for me is going to stab Wen Ruohan in the back while he's distracted. They do say no plan survives contact with the enemy.

Side note: Baxia makes a loud metallic "shnk" noise when NMJ takes it off his back during this speech, even though Baxia does not have a scabbard. You do you, Baxia.

All the senior cultivators file out down the center while everyone else parts to let them pass. Then everybody does the Electric Slide.

Jiang Cheng tells Wei Wuxian they should go ahead of the main force to get some killing in early, but Wei Wuxian just pulls a face and looks down, staying with Lan Wangji. 

Jiang Cheng is disappointed, and no doubt takes this as a sign of WWX choosing LWJ over him. But actually, WWX can't fight side-by-side with Jiang Cheng without showing his weakness.

LWJ and WWX exchange one of their unspoken "let's go" eye touches and get ready to ride out together with the main force. 

Lan Wangji is still super, super sad. Wei Wuxian is still fake. But something is starting to knit together between them, and once they can hit a battlefield together, it will get a lot stronger.

On A Horse With No Name

Everyone rides out on horses, which will presumably get eaten somewhere along the way, because they appear to travel on foot after this. While Wei Wuxian practices his horseback-flute-twirling, Lan Wangji asks why Wei Wuxian didn't go with the forward force to fight.

Wei Wuxian says that he has a case of the don'wannas, and Lan Wangji snarkily points out that he used to like fighting. Wei Wuxian reacts, just as he did at the end of their sword fight, with embarrassment, and doesn't answer.

Lan Wangji, sweetie. You are really not helping. 

At this point, despite their ongoing fighting, Wangxian are clearly together again. Lan Wangji isn't riding with his brother; he's RIGHT next to Wei Wuxian, and will stay close to him through the rest of the campaign.

Nie Huaisang hollers "Wei-Xiong" from the top of the battlements and tells him to take care. Wei-Xiong lifts his flute in acknowledgement while Nie Huaisang looks worried. He doesn't tell Nie Mingjue or Lan Wangji to take care, just Wei Wuxian. Wei Wuxian is his particular friend, more than Lan Wangji is, but he may also be concerned because he can tell that Wei Wuxian isn't well.

Nie Huaisang hasn't yet developed the deep cynicism that he calls upon in his quest to avenge his brother, but he has always been a voracious collector of information, and he is keenly observant.

Side note: what the fuck is going on with this sculpture? Kudos to the artist. This has beautiful forms, and is weird and disturbing. The main head is wearing a horned skull on its forehead, small ungulates that I hesitate to call “deer” chilling on its horns, and...snakes? biting its ears? 

Boring Wen Interlude

Wen Ruohan is waving his hands around. Sigh. This is one of the more boring villain performances ever, and it's not the actor’s fault. They could have given him a sidekick to yell at or something, so we could get more than just hand waving. I’ve given up screen capping any of this; there are more interesting things to look at. 

Battle Moves

Jin Zixuan and Jiang Cheng and their forces have an extended fight scene with a bunch of puppet dudes and stuntmen in harnesses. 

It's pretty fun to watch. (Fanvid with more over here)

The gist of the fighting scenes is that Wen Ruohan is getting stronger, and Klingons are hard to beat.

Battle Planning

Finally we see a sidekick with Wen Ruohan, although he's blurry so it's hard to tell that he is totally Meng Yao.

The Sunshotters have set up a Battle Camp Playset. It's got chunks of gates and walls that don't connect to anything, like a Duplo set. It's just randomly open for most of the back area so that anyone can walk in. 

They've got a cage of hilarious definitely-not-zombies set up, and the rest of the wounded cultivators are lying on the ground. 

The main battle trio go chill in Nie Mingjue's incredibly fancy tent. They talk it over and say it's impossible to kill unkillable enemies, "even when we have millions of troops." And by “millions” they mean “dozens.”  

Nie Mingjue decides the way to handle it is to kill the leader and everyone else will collapse, because he has watched vampire movies and the last season of Game of Thrones and that's how it works. Watching the last season of Game of Thrones is why he is so angry all the time  He says he's going to sneak into Nightless City and assassinate Wen Ruohan.

Okay, first of all, Nie Mingjue can sneak? I don't believe it.  Second of all, if that was possible, why didn't he do it as soon as Wen Ruohan attacked his clan?

Nie Mingjue wants to take the biggest risk because he's the commander in chief, which is not how commanding is supposed to work, but okay.

He says if he dies, Zewu Jun will take over. Jiang Cheng starts to protest but Zewu Jun appears as if conjured, and shows them a map that will...dear GOD his hands are beautiful.

It's a helpful map, painted in multiple colors with careful writing on it, so if anyone were to show it to Nie Huaisang he would probably go "oh cool Meng Yao painted that" because anyone who could paint that well probably spent a fair amount of time at it on a regular basis. But, Nie Huaisang isn't here so, nope.

It’s always nice to see Jiang Cheng smile.

Wei Wuxian and Lan Waniji examine some of the puppets to see what's up. It's transmitted by touch, and Lan Wangji says that curing one dude takes three months of spiritual power. Ain’t nobody got time for that.

Writing Prompt: Missing scene! How did they get from the fight in the courtyard to the talk on the roof? 

Soundtrack: 1. Shine on You Crazy Diamond, by Pink Floyd 2. Electric Boogie, by Marcia Griffiths

[your-daily-biaswrecking]

Serva me, Servabo te

save me and I will save you

pairing: photographer!Taehyung x f.reader

genre: smut, some crack and fluff, slight enemies to lovers

word count: 4.4k  |  reading time: 30 min

chapter summary: Two months later and you're still seeing each other like at the beginning.

warnings: lots of roleplaying, dirty talk, fingering f.receiving, some degration and name calling, unprotected vaginal sex, breeding kink, cumplay, crack-y and the some fluffy stuff

A/N: Very last part of this story!  Thank you so much to anyone who read this till the end! I hope you liked it and feel free to tell me everything you thought about it!

All chapters  |  Masterlist  |  Read on AO3

Epilogue

-Two months later-

Taehyung just about ripped his shirt open, tossing it to the ground with his chest puffed and his face set in a deep scowl. And you couldn’t help but break character.

“Don’t laugh!” he whined.

“I’m sorry!” you breathed, although didn’t do what you were asked to, and he pouted even more. “But can’t we just have normal sex tonight? It’s so much easier.”

”Sex!” Taehyung screeched. “Why, you have indeed lost your mind, woman! Just as I feared, the effect on you is too strong!” You had to bite your lip not to giggle at his fake accent. And he leaned in to whisper (off-script, of course): “Take your clothes off, babe.”

“Oh, no,” you tried to match his energy. Grabbed the hem of the t-shirt you had been wearing like a dress around the house and pulled it over your head unceremoniously. “Oops. I can’t seem to control myself.” Needless to say, you were a terrible actress.

“What have you done?” Taehyung looked away as if he would be in trouble if he laid his eyes on your naked body. “Please, this is improper. Keep yourself decent until I find the antidote.” And he kept a dramatic hand over his eyes, as you stood there, slightly getting lost in just looking at his back and his exposed muscles.

The boy turned to peek at you over his shoulder when you still hadn’t answered. It was obviously your turn. “Uh- right. Um… The only antidote, uh… Is your dick—” You couldn’t even finish the sentence before you broke out cackling.

“Yah!” he whined again. “I said stop laughing! Is this a joke to you?” You nodded between your snickers. “Come on!” he continued.

“I’m sorry, it’s just that…” you mumbled as you whipped away a tear or two from your eyes. “One day you’re a chimney sweeper, here to sweep my chimney, the next you’re a lamplighter here to turn me on, a log driver here to drive your log into me— I can’t keep up! It’s too hilarious!”

This time a skilled sorcerer that had accidentally given you a powerful love potion. You had to give it to him for the imagination and determination, that’s for sure. You were just too clownish to compete with him and thought it ruined the mood. Although he never seemed to agree with you on that.

“Well, what’s wrong with that?” he murmured with a pout on his lips, scratching the back of his head. “I’m just trying to make this fun.”

A gush of guilt washed through your body. You quickly reached out to him, grabbing his arms. “Oh, no, please, my Lord,” you called him with wide eyes. Getting back into character right away. “I can’t help myself. I need you right now. Please, my Lord, I’m begging you to end my suffering!”

You noticed how the corner of his lips twitched before he cleared his throat and looked at you seriously. “Ma’am, I-”

You interrupted him by crashing your lips on his. Body pinned against his as you swallowed him down desperately. And when you spoke again your voice was rough and coarse, coming out in a deep whisper. “Please, fuck me hard. I need you so bad.” And you weren’t lying.

You felt his hands hold you by the waist with strength. And he growled. “Well, I guess you should never ignore a lady’s pleas,” he rasped. Then pushed on the bed, before quickly climbing on top of you. “Do not worry, ma’am. I will make the pain go away.”

True to his promise, he didn’t waste any more time. Put two fingers in his mouth to wet them well before lowering them on your clit. And you gasped out. “Ah, thank you! This is much better.” You were always better at role-playing while he was actually touching you since none of it was acting. Taehyung growled at the way you were moaning, and you would have thought he forgot to stay in character.

But then he spoke again as his fingers traveled further down to play with your folds. “This is very wrong, ma’am. Letting me feel you up when you are such a respectable Lady. What if your husband found you like this?”

“I have a husband?” you chirped. And the boy frowned, pressing both of his fingers inside of you harshly, making you yelp. “Right! I do!” you gasped. And then moaned loudly as he started curling them deeply. “I don’t care, my Lord. You are the only one I want from now on. You are the one I love.” Words flowing off your tongue so easily, even though you had never uttered them in any other context.

Then again, like I said, none of this was acting anymore.

His expression didn’t change, although his breathing got a little more rugged. Focused on making your mouth drop from pleasure, getting you ready for the rest of the night. Something that by then he had learned to do so fast and easily.

“Is this what you wanted?” he asked you after he had you nearing your orgasm. “Are your urges satisfied?” But you shook your head frantically. “What?”

“More,” you mouthed.

He scoffed. “What more could you possibly want?” Punctuating every word with a harder thrust of his fingers.

You clawed at his back, eyes slowly moving to the back of your head. “You! I want you inside of me, my Lord. Please…”

Taehyung withdrew his fingers, and you were about to whine when you noticed the quick work he was making of his pants to free himself. “Is that the only way you’ll be cured?”

“Yes!”

His dick was already nudging your entrance. “Alright, baby,” he replied, breaking character. “I’ll fuck you real good right now.”

He moaned louder than you as he slid inside. Grabbed your legs and pushed them against your belly to level himself over your body as he began his fast and deep thrusts. At that point, you were so close, you lowered your land over your clit to rub a couple of circles before you were reaching your orgasm. Drawing a string of curses from him as he felt your walls fluttering around him.

“You came,” Taehyung groaned after you had come down your high completely. “Have you been healed, then?”

But you shook your head, wrapping your arms around his neck to pull him down for a bruising kiss, messy by the rhythm of his thrusts. “No,” you answered what you knew he wanted to hear. “The potion will only fade after you’ve made me come thrice more.”

He called out, visibly wincing before he let his head drop and his sweaty forehead hit your shoulder. “No, babe— I won’t last that long,” he breathed.

“Oh, okay. Um, then… It will only fade after you’ve finished inside me.”

Taehyung cried out at your words. And he bit down your shoulder hard, making you moan as well, as he started picking up the pace. “That’ll happen fast if you keep talking like that.” He pulled his mouth off your shoulder and let it travel up your neck, nibbling at it.

You smirked as you dipped your fingers in his hair, gathering as much as you could in a tight fist. “Please, my Lord,” you rasped in his ear, enjoying yourself a little too much as you listened to his whines and moans. The way your words affected him. “I need you to fill me up with your cum.” Another groan from him, sucking on your neck painfully hard. “I won’t be satisfied until I’m dripping with your seed.”

“You filthy whore,” Taehyung groaned. He grabbed both of your wrists and pinned them on the bed, drawing some distance between your bodies. “You’ll get pregnant with my child instead of your husband’s if I do that.”

Taehyung’s breeding kink was no secret at that point. And even though you both knew you were on the pill, you didn’t mind feeding into his desires. So you arched your back, trying to reach his mouth again. “Lord, yes!” you yelped. “I’ll only be saved if you give me your babies, my Lord. If you make me yours forever.”

"Fuck.” His hips were faltering and you could tell he was close. He finally let you kiss him again- he always loved kissing you while he orgasmed. And just a couple of pumps later you felt his cum shooting inside you. Taehyung shook, his arms barely holding his body over yours and not crushing you, and then he fell next to you.

You allowed a couple of minutes to pass for him to catch his breath and come back on earth. And then you tapped him on the shoulder. “We have a problem.”

His head whipped to your side immediately, eyes going as wide as possible. “What? What is it? Did I do something wrong?” A hand on your belly as he held you cautiously.

You bit your lip. “I don’t think the spell was broken.”

Taehyung groaned as he sighed in relief. And then he chuckled. “You scared me.” He turned on his side and wrapped his arms and legs all around your body, cuddling into you. “Good,” he whispered. “I don’t want it to.”

You smiled shyly. “Me neither.”

It wasn’t much, but it felt like the closest you’d ever come to saying you love each other. And you basked in the happiness the moment brought you.

“Amy,” you heard him mumble after a bit, while you were drawing circles over his bare back absentmindedly.

You hummed in response.

“Can I introduce you as my girlfriend?” It was so soft you barely heard it. But when you turned to blink at him, he quickly jumped at the opportunity to explain himself. “I’m not saying we have to be boyfriend and girlfriend any other day of the week, just, you know… just for the festival next week and the people that we’ll be meeting there.”

Oh, his festival…

You couldn’t tell if his cheeks were all red because of the way he had just tired himself out, or the bashfulness you had started seeing more and more on him. If it was the latter, it must have been contagious; your face flaring up and a need to hide it from his gaze overcoming you. Words like these you never mentioned. But, boy, did they make your stomach flip!

“Okay…” you swallowed, a smile fighting to appear that you could barely hold back. “You can call me your girlfriend.” It tickled your lips just to say it, and you broke out into a giggle, finally burring your head in the crook of his neck. You heard him mimic your laugh with his deep voice, holding you tighter.

Girlfriend.

Perhaps it wasn’t what you had agreed on when you had decided to keep seeing each other, always in secret and always without letting too many emotions get in the way, but you would be lying if it didn’t fit your current situation. You met up every day, and it wasn’t even for sexual reasons most of the time. You spent time together, and not because you had nothing better to do, but because you wanted to. You slept most nights, ate, or even worked together. Basically, any time you could escape your two friends, you knew you’d be spending it with each other. You obviously weren’t seeing any other guys, and you thought even if Taehyung wanted to see other girls, there was no way he had the time to.

You claimed you didn’t know what this was but introducing you as his girlfriend to the people he works with made too much sense.

“What about Jimin?” you asked him them. “If he comes, too, won’t he find out about us?”

Taehyung didn’t miss a beat. “Oh, I won’t tell him to come.” He took your hand and placed it over his hair, a sign he wanted pets- something that he also did quite often. Taehyung loved your pets so much he all but purred as he rubbed his face on your chest like a little tiger.

You gasped. “Oh, no! The betrayal!”

“Shut up,” he laughed at you.

“You sure you’ll be alright without your soulmate by your side for one night?”

He just hummed. “It’s alright, I’ll have you.”

Even more butterflies in your stomach, but you ignored them. Although they didn’t seem to go away, not for the entire rest of that week. In fact, the closer you got to the opening night of his photography festival, the worst they got. Excitement to be finally out in the open with him. To be walking by his side as everyone sees you as a couple. You randomly thought about that throughout your days and had to stop and feel up your cheeks as they burned. You had to come up with a good lie (even though you were terrible at acting) to tell Yoonji why you couldn’t spend Friday night with her. And, most importantly, you had to find something nice to wear; you had to impress as Kim Taehyung’s girlfriend, right?

You were nervous like you were going on your first date when Taehyung came to pick you up. But then when you saw him, fidgeting and slightly sweating as he was waiting for you next to his car, you realized he was even more anxious. Perhaps because he had two things to be jumpy about; you and his work. So whatever worries you had instantly melted away as you walked up to him and gave him a peck on the lips. Your job naturally turning into making him feel better.

“Hey,” he called, a little surprised as he clearly hadn’t noticed you. He looked you up and down. And when his eyes met yours again they were so much brighter. “You’re gorgeous.”

You didn’t think it was anything too extravagant, just a classy cocktail dress to fit with the dress code. Although you had done your hair and makeup really nicely. And perhaps that was the only time he had ever seen you so dolled up. But still, you thought that was nothing compared to him.

“Not as gorgeous as you,” you told him. You had no idea he could look so good in a suit, with his normally curly and messy hair pushed back to expose his forehead. Your hand wrapped around his tie to pull him down for another kiss, a little deeper. And then you looked at him with a confident smile. “Tonight is going to be amazing, baby.”

“Let’s hope so,” he said with a chuckle.

The gallery was packed, even though it was still so early. And even though your heart was beating ten times faster than normal, you had to appear as casual as possible. So you just smiled at the photographer as he led you inside. But when you felt his hand reach for your own, everything calmed down a bit. He was holding your hand! He was holding your hand and walking you around the room like he had nothing to hide. It drove you insane!

You had so many people to meet. From his boss, to his coworkers, to other artists he had met at some point, journalists and critics. And as promised, he always did so with a soft “This is my girlfriend, Amy.” And then you got praised for the kind of man you had by your side, or he got praised for the kind of catch that you were. You heard the nicest things in just some time. And you heard Taehyung refer to you as his girlfriend so much you almost got used to it already. Even though you didn’t know if something like that could ever be possible.

The collection was stunning. Every photo following an easy-to-grasp timeline, some of them taken by your man and others not. Most of them black and white, some with people as their subjects and others with nature. You recognized the Manor in a couple of them, clearly taken by Taehyung. Before you recognized yourself.

“I hope you don’t mind,” he whispered at you when he saw your eyes falling on that one picture of you in the garden with what Taehyung called fairies. It was up there, with the rest of them, and it astonished you just how well it fit with the aesthetic. How you could look so well it seemed like you were a paid model.

“I don’t mind…” you mumbled and turned to look at him. “I love it.” Your face was beaming and so was his. Smiling down at you with the rawest emotions reflecting in his eyes. And he leaned slightly down, his lips parting. And you didn’t know if he was about to kiss you or repeat your words with an added meaning to them. Taking a deep breath as you waited for his move, lost in thought- everything around you just a buzz, just a blur.

His eyes widened. And he didn’t say anything. He didn’t kiss you. Instead, he grabbed you and shoved you aggressively to the side. Stumbling as you bumped and disappeared into the crowd.

You were about to go off, turning to glare at him -like what the fuck even was that?- when he called out to someone you couldn’t see.

“Jimin! Yoonji!”

Oh, shit!

Taehyung had his arms stretched out as he moved as farther away from you as he could. And you quickly looked around you, trying to find somewhere to hide.

“What’re you guys doing here?” Taehyung breathed with an extremely big smile on; dead give away it was fake. “I told you- you didn’t have to come!” he spoke through his teeth.

“You really thought I’d miss my best friend’s festival?” Jimin’s sweet voice sounded.

“Ha, of course… Why would I think that?” It was becoming apparent why his plan was stupid just about now. You peeked over your shoulder to see them hugging in greeting before you quickly turned back around. Staring at a random picture and hoping they wouldn’t notice you.

“Where did Amy go?” Yoonji asked.

Well, fuck. They did notice you.

Taehyung choked. “Wha- What? Who? Who’s that?”

You heard your ex-roommate scoff in her very characteristic way. “My best friend, Amy!”

“Ah…” Taehyung pretended he only then realized what she was talking about. You know what? He wasn’t a great actor either after all. “I don’t kno- She’s not here, why would she be here? That’s crazy. What are you-”

“There she is,” Jimin announced, probably with a pointed finger as well. “Ames!”

Your entire body tensed up. But you didn’t move; perhaps if you didn’t move they wouldn’t be able to see you.

“Amy!” Yoonji’s voice sounded louder.

Don’t move, don’t move, don’t move! Just look at the picture. What a great picture, right? Move closer so that you can look at it better. Wow, so interesting!

“Ames!” Yoonji called you one last time as she tapped your shoulder and you jumped up.

You finally turned to look at them. “Oh? Oh my God…. Hey guys!” you exclaimed, trying to look surprised even though your sweating was probably so obvious. You looked at all three of them. “I didn’t know you’d be here, too! What are you all doing here? This is amazing.”

Jimin narrowed his eyes at you. “You didn’t know Taehyung would be at his own festival?”

You turned your shocked face towards the man that was mentioned. “This is your festival?” you squeaked. “Wow, that’s great. It’s- it’s amazing. Good job.”

You heard Yoonji groan while Jimin burst into laughter. And all you and Taehyung could do was stare at them with wide eyes and your palms sweating more and more, as they looked at each other and communicated without even speaking.

“Oh my God, you guys!” the girl finally snarled, rolling her eyes and folding her arms over her chest. “Drop the act. We already know you’re a… thing.”

“Whaaat?” you squealed in a high-pitched voice. But quickly realized there was no use. Your face dropped. “What?” you repeated in a deeper voice and a frown. “Since when?”

-One month ago-

Yoonji put the key she had never returned in the door of your apartment, getting in. It wasn’t even an emergency or anything, just wanted to drop by to see you. The silence of the place let her know instantly that you were still sleeping though.

“Ugh, that girl…” she sighed. “She’s always sleeping in so late, it’s a wonder she is ever on time for her morning classes! I really don’t know how she can survive without me around here.” And she casually walked into your bedroom. Not anything weird, she always did that. There were no boundaries or secrets between the two of you.

Well, that was what she thought before she saw you asleep in some guy's arms.

“Oh shit!” she gasped, keeping quiet.

She almost turned immediately around to leave the room, but then she realized you hadn’t told her about any guys. So who the fuck was that?

“No fucking way!” she mouthed when she recognized who that handsome face belonged to. “Jimin”! You won’t believe what I just saw!” she cried at her phone once she was back outside the house. “Amy and Taehyung are fucking!”

“Ha! I knew it!” the boy on the other end of the call yelped. “I told you something would happen. I told you he liked her.”

Yoonji was looking back at the closed door as she was walking away, still processing the news. “Well, I knew he liked her, too,” she mumbled. “I just didn’t think she’d go for it.”

“Okay, but how do you know they’re fucking?”

“Just caught them in bed together.”

“Juicy. Did they see you?”

The girl shook her head before she remembered he couldn’t see her. “No, no, they were sleeping. And I just left, I didn’t know what to do.” She thought about the situation she had just been in a bit clearer as she walked farther and farther away. The shock wearing off a bit. And she was just surprised she hadn’t yelled at you right then. “I can’t believe this- how long has this been happening? Why didn’t she tell me anything?”

“Uh…” Jimin hummed as he thought about it. “They are probably too embarrassed to admit it. Or maybe it’s nothing serious and they don’t want to tell us.”

“Still! How could she do that to me?” her voice sounded hurt right before she got happy again. “Do you realize how amazing this is, though? We can go on double dates all together now!”

“See, this is exactly why she didn’t tell you.”

Yoonji scoffed. “Whatever. I’ll wait until she tells me and then I’ll kill her. Deal?”

“You bitch!” you gasped, your mouth dropping. “You knew all this time? And you didn’t tell me anything?”

“You didn’t tell me anything first!” Yoonji whined just as loud as you.

You took in a deep breath, ready to argue with her more. But then sighed in defeat. “Touché.”

And Yoonji was immediately by your side, hooking her arm around yours and bouncing slightly. “Whatever, it doesn’t matter. What matters is that now we know! And you have to tell me from the start!” she mumbling in excitement. “I want to know everything…” Her eyes traveling up and down Taehyung as she dragged out that last word.

The boy immediately looked at you with wide eyes. “Uh, Amy?” he begged with a shaky voice.

You quickly shook your head, closing your eyes in reassurance. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell her everything.”

"I bet it started at the Manor," Yoonji continued. "How was it, anyway? Would you recommend it?"

"Oh, it was definitely haunted," Taehyung murmured. "But yeah, I'd recommend it."

Jimin was off to the side, chuckling as he watched the way you all reacted. Then he pulled his girlfriend kindly off you. “Great. Now that it’s official, I guess we can finally go on those double dates Yoonji wants so much.”

The way Taehyung and you shared an awkward look didn’t go by unnoticed.

“Wait,” Yoonji was quick to intervene. “Is it official, though? Are you guys just fucking or are you in love or something?”

The words alone knocked all the air out of your lungs. And when you turned slowly to the side to look at the photographer, he seemed to be in a very similar position. Staring at each other with your faces turning beet red. Staring because you didn’t know who would speak first. And you didn’t know who would speak first because you didn’t know what you should say. You weren’t just fucking, right? But could you say you were in love? What if you tried to say that and he said the other at the same time?

That wasn’t the thing you had agreed on. All you had agreed on was being boyfriend and girlfriend just for tonight. Just for all these strangers. So what were you to your friends? What were you to yourselves?

“Yoonji, you have such a talent for putting people in an awkward spot,” Jimin broke the silence. It allowed you to chuckle and look away for a moment, perhaps hoping you had avoided the question altogether. But Taehyung cleared his throat.

“She’s my girlfriend tonight,” he said with a hand in the small of your back. That was good, that was safe. Just what you had agreed on.

“What do you mean tonight?” Yoonji chimed in. “She won’t be tomorrow?”

There we go again; same situation. You looked up at Taehyung to read his reaction, but he was avoiding your eyes. “She…” he mumbled. And you were hanging by his lips. “She can. If she wants to.”

You didn’t even have enough time to process his words before both Yoonji and Jimin turned to you, looking at you expectingly. And you opened your mouth but were too flustered to speak. Eyes on you making you freeze.

“Well?” Jimin pressed you.

“Wha- you guys are insane,” you breathed out, a heat covering your entire face. And you fanned yourself as you tried to fight the smile -or laugh- that was threatening to break out, rendering you completely unable to speak. But when you finally met Taehyung’s eyes, too, and they were just as nervous, you snorted. “Of course I’ll be his girlfriend tomorrow, too. I have been his girlfriend for a while now.”

The relief that washed over his features made you unable to hold back your flustered grin. And you buried your face in his arm, hating that you had to do this in such a public place. With an audience, too. But not enough to distract from the pure euphoria you were feeling right then.

“So you guys are in love or something!” Yoonji shrieked, jumping up in celebration.

“I am,” Taehyung said. No hesitation this time. Just a sweet smile as he looked down at you, waiting for you to stop hiding away.

And when you did, you smiled up at him as well. “Me too,” you whispered. Your eyes were locked, staring intensely as your smiles kept growing more and more. And once again you were lost in thought- everything around you just a buzz, a blur.

And he leaned down to give you a soft kiss.

“I love you,” he mouthed.

“I love you, too.”

The first time you said it. First of many to come.

The end!

[deliciousangelfestival]

Wicked Romance

Chapter 3

Character : Mob!Steve Rogers x Retired Assassin Female Reader

Summary : Steve was hoping to meet the right one until he met her. But is he ready to be with her? He thought his life already dark because of his job. He wouldn’t able to find a woman that strong enough to face the hardship to stand beside him. Turn out his life is nothing compared to her. 

Warning : No smuts, since I don’t know how to write it. Peace y’all. 

Today (Y/N) drive Peter to his workplace; the business still close, but Wanda wants him to come to discuss which recipe they should use for the grand re-opening.

Usually, Peter use his bike to go to work. But (Y/N) offers to use her car since she’s also going out.

Peter notices a big back on her backseat. “Where are you going?”

“My friend needs my help.”

“Hmm.” He was silent if (Y/N) mention ‘help’ means including guns, explosions, and deadly battle.

“Who’s your friend?”

(Y/N) felt nervous, she bit her lips. “John Wick…??” She answered him with questions because she knew he doesn’t like it when dealing with underworld stuff.

The atmosphere suddenly became quiet.

She felt nervous because he became quiet. “Are you mad? Don’t worry Bambi, I’ll be back before you know it.”

She glanced a bit to see his reaction wondering if he’s mad. Well, she’s right cause Peter’s head is looking out his window and he already put on his earphones. (Y/N) sighed inwardly, she couldn't help it when her former comrade asked for her help.

Their ride was silent until her car stopped at Peter's destination. From her view, she could see the restaurant almost done with the renovation. The worker put in new furniture and chandeliers.

“Have a good day Peter.” (Y/N) rests her on the steering wheels; she smiles sweetly at Peter, but he still give her a cold shoulder.

She doesn’t like it when he ignores her, so when he gets out of the car and closes the door, (Y/N) open the car window and screams, "Bye, I love you!!!"

Honestly, he didn’t play any song to his ears; he only put it on just for show because it’s too early to argue with (Y/N). How shocked he was when he heard her sudden shout. 

Peter was embarrassed because there are many people in front of the store and pedestrians right now. All eyes and giggle are directed to him; he pulled down the hoodie to hide his face.

(Y/N) giggled like a maniac, she shouted again, “Peter, I won’t go until you say it back!!”

Peter huffed before turning around and ran to the car again. “Love you too, don’t get killed and don’t ruin your new carpet with blood this time.” After he said that, he ran into the building. He wishes he could dig a hole and hide right now.

(Y/N) feels satisfied after knowing he’s talking to her again. She drove the car, heading to her battleground.

.

.

.

When Peter stepped inside, he saw his colleague chuckled when they looked at him. He tries to act cool and walks towards Wanda table.

Peter felt a big shadow covering him; it made him stop walking. He glanced through his shoulder and saw his boss, Sam, Steve, and Bucky, looking at him with a weird smile.

“Ehm, can I help you sir?” Peter's shoulder became tense; he has never been this close with them.

Bucky put his arms around Peter’s shoulder. “Have you had breakfast Peter?”

“Yea… Waiitt….” Before Peter could finish his answer, Bucky carried his body like a potato sack.

Peter doesn’t understand why he got treated like this. They enter the private room that is only reserved for the elite patron.

Bucky drops Peter to the seat while Sam offers the kid an apple juice. Steve is standing in front of him.

“That was a nice car Peter.”

A light bulb appears in front of Peter; he could figure out what they will ask him about (Y/N).

Peter is right; three of them are curious even before they heard a woman shout towards Peter.

Why?

Because of the car.

Today (Y/N) drove using her car of the day, which is a Lamborghini Aventador.

Even the sound of the car engine made everyone turn their head to see it—no exception for Steve, Bucky, and Sam.

####

Before Peter arrived.

Steve, Bucky and Sam, are already at the restaurant to supervise the working progress. They were heading out after making sure everything was fine until they heard a loud engine sound.

How surprised they were when they saw Peter step out from the car. Steve could see it was a woman who drove the car.

“Hmm, Peter usually drove a bike here.” Said Pietro, who joined them.

“He acts like a poor kid turned out he’s rich.”

They are still looking outside, trying to see who the driver is. Lucky for them the car window rolled down.

Steve almost popped out his eyes when he saw the woman he was longing to meet is the car owner.

“Hmm is that Miss Lilly?” Pietro recognised his favourite customer. His hunch was correct all this time; Peter and she knew each other.

“Bye, I love you!!!”

The adult male gasped when they heard her shout towards Peter.

“Oh my god, Peter is a sugar baby and Miss Lily is his sugar mama.” Pietro gasped.

Steve knocked the bartender's head lightly. “Go help your sister.” Pietro rolled his eyes and left to help Wanda.

Bucky looked at Steve, who had a jealous expression on his face. “Ask the kid.” He knew his friend had been looking for the mysterious girl for weeks, but they found nothing. It turns out the one who gives them the information is here.

.

.

.

“Thank you, it belongs to my sister.”

How relieved Steve was when the word ‘sister’ came out of Peter's mouth.

"You never mention you have older siblings. "

"Step sibling actually."

"Hmm."

"So her name is Lily Parker?" Bucky opened his notebook and put her name in the database. He thought they could find something, but they didn't.

Peter raised his eyebrow.

"Come on Peter, you know what we do. Our boss here is interested in your older sister."

“We didn’t share a last name. Her name is Lily Belcher.”

Bucky immediately types the last name. He smiled after they finally found what they’re looking “Steve, come and take a look at this.”

Steve looks at the screen; he could see her occupation as Special Project Analyst, skills in archery, karate, and Muay Thai.

“In which industries she’s working?” Steve asked Peter.

“Automotive.”

Steve can’t be fooled; this is must be fake info of her. There’s no way an analyst hide a dagger under her dress. There’s a lot of question in his head right now, but he needs to wait until everything is ready.

.

.

.

Peter and others are having lunch together until Vision turn up the TV volume. Usually, they let it on without any voice. But today, breaking news is different because they could see a camera moving and show Brock and his lackey are asleep on the plane runway.

“Today in the middle of the city, there’s a guy riding a horse and shooting a certain group and some witnesses said a female helping him. Then a private jet that belongs to Mr Rumlow got stolen by them. The culprit put the passenger to sleep as you can see.”

The big bosses are laughing out loud in the office; they could hear it from outside.

“Hahaha, who is this guy? Who ever did this to Brock, I owe him a drink.” Bucky has the loudest laugh. 

While they were laughing, Peter almost choked to death. He was drinking water when he heard the news—only one brave enough to steal in daylight.

#####

Inside the stolen private jet, a woman treats a wounded male with blood everywhere on his body.

“Does it really necessary to steal from him? There’s a lot of empy jet that we could use.” John Wick is lying on the small couch while closing his eyes because (Y/N) stitching his open injury.

(Y/N) answer while trying to finish her job. “That guys annoyed me, because of him my tea time got ruined.”

John chuckled, hearing her childish reason. “Remind me not to get on your bad side (Y/N).”

Another day, 

Another challenge.

Finally, Steve business re-opened again. He and his friends are welcoming their guest together. But secretly, he’s nervous, thinking if she will come or not. He kept dreaming about her.

“Punk, your girl is here.” Bucky alerts his friend.

Steve turns his head to the entrance. He became dumbfounded at one moment when he saw her step into the building. She was beautiful, and when not smiling, she looked more dazzling, her presence hypnotising her spectators.

“Great party Rogers.” (Y/N) compliment the host party while handed him liquor as a gift.

Steve was surprised when she gave him a gift. “You don’t have too.” He prepared to decline in the polite matter, but Pietro grabs the bottle.

“The Dalmore 62??!!” He almost screamed when he saw the label. Because of his job, he knew a lot of expensive liquor. The one he’s holding is costly. Even with his salary, there’s no way he could buy this drink.

“Thank you Miss Lily.” Pietro looks at Steve with a big smile. “I’ll put this into your collection boss.”

Steve rolled his eyes to his childish bartender, he felt annoyed, but he became less tense when he heard her giggle. He ordered a drink from Pietro assistant for both of them.

The beautiful couple talks like it’s only them who inside the room.

"Lily Belcher is not your real name right?" Steve twirl the whiskey glass in his hand.

"Maybe, why do you think that?"

"Can I know your real name?"

"What are you gonna do about it?"

Steve smirked; he lowered his head to get closer to her ear and whispered something that made her giggle.

"That sounds fun."

"How about a bet? If you win I will tell you my real name."

"But if you win?"

"I'll get free food everytime I come here."

Steve chuckled, then he let out a big laugh. He never thought a girl like her would ask this from him. Somewhat refreshing actually; well, he won't mind if he lost because he could see her every time she came here.

"Deal."

Steve hug her waist intimately. "What exactly is the challenge?"

"How many spies we could find in your party."

Steve looked at her face with a big question mark.

(Y/N) rolled her eyes and act playfully in front of him. "Ah, come on Steve I know this grand party also a silent announcement that this place is neutral. Like where the law enforcement and mobsters could enjoy their drink and food together."

Steve was impressed with her judgment.

"My guts tell me you already figure who it is."

She tapped her lips"Yeah, not the police cause they don't want to deal with mobster. My guess is…" She whispers to him, "C.I.A."

Steve gripped his wine glass; he felt annoyed he got an uninvited guest tonight.

"They won't target you tonight. I assure that."

"I fell safe already cause an angel like you guarding me." Steve responded.

(Y/N) laugh bitterly that's what man calls her like love, baby, and another sweet nickname, but after they break up, she gets called bitch, or satan.

"Who could figure who the spies the most won."

"Deal."

(Y/n) is walking away from Steve, but he holds her waist. "Let's do it together." Since he doesn't want to let her wander around, other males will try to flirt with her. Nope, not on his watch.

“I forgot to tell you, there’s a time limit.” (Y/N) move away from his embrace; she taps her watch. “We have 30 minutes. Time is ticking Rogers.”

Steve’s hand felt empty when she stepped away, but he more determined to finish their bet. "Okay."

####

Bucky, Sam, are looking at Steve, who acts like a lovesick puppy. They could tolerate Steve for leaving them to attend to their guest. Since the main reason for today party is to impress her. It seems like the plan is a success. Steve and she are inseparable.

Sarah and Joseph Rogers enter the party together. Usually, Steve would welcome them immediately, but they didn’t see a glimpse of their son.

Sarah approach her son best friend to ask, “Where’s Steve?”

Bucky smiled at her. “He’s with a special guest tonight.”

Joseph smirked since he understands what Bucky just said: “I would like to meet her.”

.

.

.

(Y/N) use her skill to seduce the spies; most of them were unprepared for a beautiful lady like her to approach them. They are here to get information. Her method was quiet; she put sleeping pills into their drinks. One by one, the spies excuse themselves to the bathroom to wash their face. That’s where (Y/N) knocked them down.

While Steve uses his status as the host party. He is a proper host; he gave a warm welcome to the spies. The spies knew they are done. They want to refute, but they are already in the wrong since they fake the invitation. Steve is considerate and doesn’t want to make a scene asking them to go back to their car.

When Steve walks behind the spies, he sees her already standing leaning to the car.

“20 minutes, not bad. How many that you found?”

��Three.” Her finger pointed to the three male who fell asleep.

Steve smirked. “Four.”

“No way.”

“Look like I won.”

(Y/N) clicked her tongue. “How?”

“I have the upper hand from the beginning since I’m the owner. I knew who the guests were and the people who work under me.”

“Ah, I haven’t checked the kitchen. My dress-code won’t allow me to enter.”

Steve nodded. “There’s one waiter who I've never seen before, he works alongside Pietro, your favourite bartender.”

The spies felt like a light bulb for the couple; they excuse themselves quietly by dragging their team, who fell asleep, back into their car and drive away. They bet the couple doesn’t notice nor seem to care about their presence. It’s uncomfortable watching the mob boss flirting.

They were right; the couple doesn’t care at all. They went back to the building where Steve takes her to the terrace; he already arranged it to be beautiful; he requests to make the light illuminate the flower perfectly.

“So my mysterious guest would you tell me your name?”

Under the light, Steve saw her beautiful smile “(Y/N) Parker. I’m pretty sure you already know about me and Peter.”

Steve nodded. “He’s lucky to have a beautiful sister like you and your name sounds perfect to my ear.”

He put his arm around her waist and leaned his head near her ear. She could feel his breath kinda tickle her neck. “(Y/N), what kind of reward will you give me since I successfully redecorated this place and won the bet today?”

She always likes a straightforward person like Steve. She doesn’t mind his aggressive touch. This time it (Y/N) turns to whisper in his ear. What she said almost made Steve’s leg become jelly. If he didn’t maintain his self-esteem, he would lose at this moment.

“Oh, I’m sorry I thought this place is empty.” A guest interrupted. 

Steve sighed; another one tries to disturb their private moment. He asked her if she wants to come to his house, to which she immediately agreed.

“Not saying goodbye to your brother?”

(Y/N) doesn’t worried about Peter since she taught him lethal self-defence. There’s a lot of sharp weapons if someone tries to hurt him. “He’s fine.”

Both of them get into the car; Steve drives back to his place.

When they headed to their destination, they got attacked again. (Y/N) and Steve’s make-out session got disturbed.

‘BANG’

Both of them knew it’s a bullet that hit Steve’s car. He already prepared for this kind of attack, all of his car already modified with bulletproof.

Guess who? Brock, he’s made a fuss since he didn’t get the invitation.

Steve felt guilty looking at his date, but his worries are all gone when he saw her look excited.

“Keep driving.”

“What?”

(Y/N) hand move to touch Steve blazer that made him shocked because of her hand touching his abs.

“(Y/N) now is not the time.” Steve hold his breath.

(Y/N) she laughed because Steve seemed misunderstood; she didn’t say anything that made him more frustrated. If the situation is different, he wouldn’t mind.

Her finger found Steve’s gun that attached to his belt. “I’m going to borrow this for a moment.”

“That’s dangerous, let’s stop here.”

Before he stops the car, (Y/N) opens the window; her body still stays on the seat; she puts out her right that holds the gun. She saw her target through the car window.

“Drive to the left a little bit Steve.”

“What?”

“Now.”

Steve does as she told. It gave her a clear shot at Brock's car.

‘BOOM.’

Steve gasped, his head kept turning back, looking at the scene; with just one shot Brock’s car tire got shot that made them lose control and hit the concrete barrier.

He finally able to stop his car. “That was a big crash.”

(Y/N) felt proud with just one bullet, she able to ruin the car chase. “If they die, that’s on them.”

“You’re amazing.” Steve grabbed her cheeks and brought her head closer to him so he could kiss her. It’s been a long time since he gets excited like this.

‘I never met a woman like you.’ 

They only been together for hours but Steve already felt the connection. And tonight even though there’s a lot of distraction, he could be himself when she stay beside him. 

He hope she would be the last one. 

So they drive back to his place and do the deeds. 

(BANG! BANG! BANG!)

.

.

.

While the couple is enjoying their intimate moment, the atmosphere quite different in C.I.A HQ.

‘THUD’ The sound of a pile of document being smashed to the table made the people who stand fidget a bit. They put their head down since they too scared looking at their boss.

“DAMN IT!!!”

“It was perfect, but all of you failed the mission. How?”

The person who just punched the table and screamed at her subordinate is Peggy Carter, also Steve ex-girlfriend. They were together in the military, but they broke up after Steve decided to work with his father.

She is pissed that her plan to get her people to be the informant for the mob, using the party tonight, has failed.

C.I.A has trying to get dirt from Steve group; they even use Peggy to fool Steve since they had a history together. Peggy uses this mission to make Steve quit being a mobster boss, but it’s such a difficult task to change his mind. Her mission was failed when Natasha found out.

Peggy knew she’s finished when Natasha confronted her.

Her betrayal hurt Steve, and he banned her from stepping into his territory.

“Who found you?”

“The big boss.”

“Argh, that even worse.”

“And there’s one more that is helping him. She’s the one who put the other three to sleep.”

“She?” Peggy raised her eyebrows.

“Yeah and a pretty one. This is the first time we've seen her with Rogers.”

“Have you found out who it is?”

“We use facial recognition, her name is Lilly Belcher.” One of the agents gives her a document.

She read the file “She looks innocent to be with Steve.”

‘and beautiful’

Peggy clenched her fist when she looked at the photo. The break-up left bitterness in her heart. From the story, she heard from her agents, seems like this woman is strong and doesn't mind playing along with Steve. The totally opposite of their relationship.

'Perhaps he found his right partner.'

Peggy doesn't like that idea “I won’t let you have a happy ending Steve.”

>>>CHAPTER 4 IS HERE.

A/N: uUHH... Steve has a bitter ex. 

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