#but why does he look like jasper from twilight in the second one

[marleighdrinkscoffee]

Paul frolicking in a field lives rent-free in my mind

Paul McCartney & yellow flowers.

[xetlynn]

Twilight- Book Four-Mortality: Chapter One- Day Before

(Alice X reader X Jasper)

[One] [Two]

Bella and Edward are getting married, the invitation lying in my hand as I talk to Jasper and Alice.

Something Alice made herself. "Why are you giving this to me?" I tilt my head to the side in confusion. I only ask due to the fact that I have been shopping with my girlfriend for this wedding since we were told about it.

"It's just to say that you have it. Keepsake." She smiles, kissing my cheek before walking away. Leaving Jasper and I in the living room alone.

"You excited for the wedding?" He suddenly speaks up, lifting my thoughts away from the paper. "Mm, I don't like what comes after but what can I do about that?" I shrug my shoulders, the room goes back to being quiet and he lifts his arms. Inviting me into them.

Without a second thought I let him embrace me. He knows how I feel about Bella becoming a vampire. I'm not the biggest fan of it. I wish we could've grown old together, have our little families. Our kids be cousins.

But both of us succumbed to a fate we should've never experienced or had to endure. Even if she technically has the choice, she truly doesn't. The Volturi would stop at nothing to kill her if they had it their way.

"You have to break them in." Alice tells Bella who just stumbled a little in her heels."I've been breaking them in. For three days. Can I just go barefoot?" My sister questions, I smirk knowing what the response will be. "No, absolutely not."

"Just thinking it's a little much, you know? the dress and the shoes and all of this." She gestures ahead of us. Jasper and Carlisle carrying benches for the bride and grooms sides.

"No, it's exactly enough. Tomorrow will be perfect." Alice grins cheerfully. Emmett then comes into view. "Where do you want them, boss?" He asks, carrying a long tree trunk. "On either side of the aisle."

Rosalie then walks past with another tree stump. "What aisle?" She seems a little annoyed. "Does no one have vision?" My girlfriend exasperates loudly, throwing her arms in the air, heading over to them to explain where she wants everything.

I watch Bella take her heels off then put her converse on.

"Sorry you have to deal with her." I rub my sister's shoulder but I can't hide the very clear smirk on my face. For once I'm not getting dressed in ridiculous clothing. Due to this wedding it's only things about the decorations or stuff for other people. Not me.

I love Alice, I love every quirk she has. I love them more when they have nothing to do with me and they're focused on others. "It's only for a few more days then it's all back to you." She gives me a knowing look and I let out a short laugh.

"True."

Alice comes back over to us, putting my arm around her waist. "You, go home and get lots of beauty sleep. Your sister will take you home. That's an order." She points to both of us. "Okay."

The two hug and Bella walks away. Alice picks her heels up.

"Please make sure she gets good sleep tonight." She suddenly turns to me with the heels in her hands. "Yes ma'am." I nod my head, giving a tiny salute.

"I love you." She kisses my lips. "I love you too. I pull her in my arms, pressing her into another kiss. "You gotta go." She pushes me back with a smile.

"Ugh but I'll miss you so much." I whine, trying to kiss her again but she laughs, keeping a hand out, the other still holding the shoes. "I'll miss you too but you have to go." She tells me, I pout but listen to her.

"I'm gonna go say goodbye to the other love of my life." I walk off, hurrying over to Jasper.

Jasper's setting some of the flowers up, unaware I'm there. I quietly get ready to pounce on him. Squinting my eyes on how I'm going to do it. I glance around. The only person around is Rosalie. We make eye contact and I put a finger to my lips, motioning for her to stay quiet. At first she nods but then I see a glint in her eyes but it's too late I was already going forward.

"Jasper!" She shouts, earning his attention, he finally realizes I'm there. Ruining the element of surprise. I jump right into his arms and he catches me.

"Rosalie! I can't believe you." I act shocked. Once I saw her I knew she was going to do that. She's done it before.

"Anyway, I have to go before our girl yells at me once again. Just wanted to say I love you before I left." He was still holding onto me. My legs wrapped around his torso. "Well I love you too." He gives me a kiss.

"Yeah, yeah." I drop down, kissing him one last time then heading to Bella's truck.

I don't know why Alice said I was taking her home when Bella was going to be the one who drove us.

"Sleepover tonight?" Bella asks as we entered the house. "Um, hell yeah." I grin, "Let me get dressed and I'll bring snacks up." I tell her, both of us going separate ways to our rooms.

After getting dressed I go to leave my room but I hear noise outside and I immediately know who it is. Edward is seeing Bella before the wedding. Against Alice's repeated threats for him not to do that.

I look out of my window to see Emmett and Jasper. Emmett points to me, then points to Jasper and makes kissy faces. I roll my eyes with a smile.

I head out of my room and upstairs but I stop myself when I hear their conversation. I attempt to block it out of my head. Trying to focus on a different sound in the house. I lean against the wall and then I remember I have to get the snacks so I walk downstairs. Charlie seemed to already have gone to bed.

I get a bunch of snacks together, most of Bella's favorites then a few of my weird ones that I enjoy after turning into a Hybrid.

After putting them into a grocery bag I hear a whistle from outside. "What is that?" I hear Bella ask. "Come on! Let's go!" Emmett shouts from outside. "I'm late for my bachelor party." Edward responds. I hear a thud. "Send him out, Bella, or we're coming in after him." Emmett tells my sister.

I smile to myself, lifting the bag and walking back upstairs. Loudly crinkling the bag, entering her bedroom. "So, this party. Will there be strippers?" My sister asks, both of them acknowledging me but in the same not.

"No, just a couple of mountain lions. Maybe a few bears." Edward chuckles. A thump comes from the window and Jasper is there. "Don't worry, Bella, we'll give him back in plenty of time." He then winks over to me, jumping back down. Emmett and him playfully shoving one another.

"Okay, go before they break my house."

"Let's go! Let's go!" Emmett shouts. "I'll meet you at the altar." Edward says, heading to the window. "I'll be the one in white." My sister awkwardly tells him. "That was very convincing."

She laughs as he jumps out of the window. The both of us go over and watch the three guys mess with each other.

Once they're gone, I shake the bag. Getting her attention. "What movie we watching tonight?" I ask, both of us heading over to her bed and she gets her laptop out. I let her choose the movie and I try to focus on it.

Only hearing her heartbeat instead. Listening to the calmness. I glance over to her practically already asleep. Her breathing was slowed, heavy. I think about how this is one of her last moments as a human.

My chest tightens at the thought of her having to go through the pain I did when I turned into a Vampire.

I then feel her hand find its way to my arm. Mumbles exiting her mouth, obviously distressed. I look over to her clock and it's already been three hours.

I look at the laptop and the credits of the movie had already passed, its back to the loading screen. I didn't even notice the time go by.

She makes another noise and I play with her hair, trying to do what our mother used to do for us when we were little.

"What did I say about beauty sleep?" Alice questions Bella who grimaces. "Sorry, bad dream. It was wedding jitters." She apologizes, I think about last night and how many times she woke up.

Rosalie walks into the room, looking gorgeous. "Do you need some help? I could do her hair." She turns to my girlfriend who goes to speak but Bella interjects. "Really?"

"Please. I'm not offended by your choice of groom." She plays with Bella's hair. "Just my blatant lack of respect for mortality." Bella says.

"Essentially." Rosalie gently smiles. "Weddings. They bring everyone together." Alice dreamily sighs, leaning into my body. The three of us were dressed in purple dresses. Well I was in a dress suit. It was a similar color to Alice's.

We then hear Renee and Charlie speaking outside of the room. "[Name]? Bella?" Our mom calls out. "In here, mom." We yell together.

Renee enters first. "Oh, my gosh! You're so beautiful. Oh, honey." She begins to tear up. "Crap! My mascara." I let out a little laugh, going over to her and giving her a handkerchief. She leans into my side hug. "Thanks, sweetie. Charlie, get in here." She shouts over to the door.

"You sure? I don't wanna..." He walks into the room wearing a tux. All of us shocked by his clean get up. "I know. I look hot." We all laugh.

"We thought you needed something blue." Charlie then opens a gift box containing a hair comb that has blue jewels on it. "And something old. Besides your mother." He jokes, my mom shaking her head. "Nice."

"It was Grandma Swan's." Charlie informs her. Bella picks it up. "But we added the sapphires." Renee points to it. "It's beautiful, you guys. Wow. Thank you so much." Bella hands it over to Alice.

"It's your first family heirloom. Well it could be yours and [Name]s. Pass on to her then to your guy's daughters then onto their daughters." Renee begins to cry again. My body tenses up and I glance over to Alice who gives me a sympathetic smile.

"Mom, I love it." Bella goes to hug our parents but my girlfriend stops her.

"Nope, no smudging my masterpiece." She orders. I snort, Renee gently slapping me. "She's right."

"Okay. Time for the dress! Do you want to see it?" She asks Renee. "I want to see it!"

Masterlist

A&J M.L.

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[4veslil]

Hii, can you write about the Cullen family having a movie night with Bella, but they are not good with horror movies while Bella loves it? Headcanons please🥺

Headcanons | The Cullens | (Horror) Movie Night

A/N: Omg another request! I have a feeling you're not a stranger and I'm happy you requested! I had soooooo much fun doing this one and had just watched paranormal activity today so it really got me in the mood. Requests are OPEN so if you like Twilight, TVD, TO, Harry Potter, Arcane, House of the Dragon or Game of Thrones check out my blog! Without further ado, ENJOY!

★ MASTER LIST AND REQUEST INFO HERE ★

Alice sees it before Bella even picks it up, she knows they're gonna hate it.

Edward does as well, but he knows once Bella gets that look in her eye there’s no stopping her.

She moves for the DVD player quicker than they thought she could- she knows Edward and Alice will try to stop her.

Vampires are so set in their ways it left only three places in the living room for Bella to choose from- they all had an assigned seat.

Emmett decides tonight will be his lucky night to not burn the popcorn- they mark another 0 on the ‘days since Emmett’s burnt something’ sign.

When they all get seated on the sofa and see Blumhouse Studios pop up on screen they all have a different reaction to what's coming.

Jasper tenses up like he’s ready to run- he’s seen real horrors but ghosts are a big no no, especially around his family.

Yeah, ghost movies are banned in the Cullen Household, Vampire ones aren’t even a close second.

Alice and Rosalie both lean in closer to their husbands- Rosalie more stealthily than the former.

Rosalie puts on a brave face but both Edward and Jasper know it’s an act.

Emmett tries to hide his fear as well, but unlike his wife he fails immensely- he looks almost human fidgeting in his seat.

Jasper and Edward dread the fear and potential jump scares waiting for them- it’s so much worse with their gifts.

Alice can’t see anything, nobody decides to be jump scared and movies don’t make decisions. She dreads the next 2 hours.

Horror movies are so much worse than usual and having Bella there means they have to turn up the volume way louder- it’s usually at a 1.

Meanwhile, Bella loves horror movies and gets giddy with anticipation.

She doesn’t notice the family’s side eye as she falls onto the sofa next to Edward- her smile is cheeky as she stuffs sweets into her mouth.

When the movie starts they’re all chill but they know it’s the calm before the storm.

Carlisle is fast, only the vampires notice him leave and return with ear plugs.

Esme sees it as a sign of betrayal and decides to pull them out before throwing them out the window. Sure, she didn’t play baseball but that’s not because she didn’t have a good arm.

Alice hides behind Jasper, Jasper is a rock- like he literally won’t move.

Rosalie is the same but it’s more out of pride- Emmett wins with the most jump scares

Surprisingly, Carlisle is a close second and he’s tempted to leave. He refuses, Esme tells him it’s rude and he needs to set an example.

Esme runs her hand through his hair after every scare. She seems to be handling it a lot better than her family. They never guessed it.

They all placed a bet on Jasper not being scared. It's the first time they can bet against Alice, why wouldn't they?

Bella laughs at them but she tries to hide it the best she can- Edward is now the one fidgeting, he can see everything the family is imagining.

Edward and Carlisle hated ghosts/demons the most, maybe it was their upbringing, they don’t know. It’s unnerving.

Bella gets giddy and starts jumping in place as she anticipates another scare.

Jasper and Edward send a look to each other, they’re planning a coup d’état to dethrone Bella’s authority over movie night.

Alice recalls saying Bella’s human so she should get to choose what they watch, ‘it’ll help them understand modern pop culture’ she thought.

Alice regrets it... immensely.

Mid-way through Emmett grabs Rosalie and sits her on his lap, attempting to hide but she shoves him off- there’s no way he’s getting out of watching and she isn’t.

Bella starts talking to the victims in the movie like they can hear her, while they all flinch at the scare and gore Bella groans that they’re all stupid.

“Who the hell walks toward the noise after watching your friends get massacred?” Bella boos, she is so frustrated she splits a bag of skittles as she tries to open them.

She stopped asking the family to open anything since they lost control of their strength out of fear.

She follows it up by telling them the three no's of horror movies, “no sex, no drugs, no alcohol”

Rosalie hears Bella and decides no sex for a week, Emmett perks up at that and frantically scrambles for the remote to turn off the telly.

Edward, even though he hates it, loves Bella enough to endure the movie- he decides to sit on the remote.

As payback Emmett repeats the scariest parts of the movie in his head, Edward flinches each time but doesn’t budge.

When the movie is over Emmett and Alice release a cry of relief, Jasper finally appears more human than before and Edward throws the remote at Emmett’s head- it breaks and Esme makes them run a perimeter of their land as punishment.

Carlisle’s reaction is the most shocking, he trips over the coffee table in his attempt to escape the room, saying he has work to rush off and do.

Esme distracts herself by clearing up all the remote control pieces and sweet wrappers.

The lights stay on for a solid week, Bella giggles thinking vampires are scared of the dark.

Edward realises, on the run, for the last 20 minutes of the movie he wrapped his arms around Bella, crushing her to his side. If he could blush he would stay permanently red-cheeked.

When he gets back the night ends with Bella laughing as she gets in Edward’s car to go home, “Oh my God we have to do that again! Remind me to buy a ghost mask!”

She doesn’t hear them all groan.

When Bella comes back the next week she notices all the horror movies are gone from their collection.

Jasper and Emmett smirk at each other- it was astounding they even waited a minute before burning them all.

[fuckmeyer]

If you’re still doing the BTS asks, I’d love to hear more about this:

“I walked,” he said.

“What?”

The patter of heavy rain became a light pittering drizzle.

“After making the worst mistake of my entire existence,” he said quietly, “I walked. From Washington to New York.”

"Walked? As in… walked ? Like a human?"

"I was in no state to face my family. Anyone, really. I didn’t dare go back to Forks for my car; I knew I’d go right back and beg you to forget whatever idiotic drivel had come out of my mouth. I couldn’t very well take a bus or a plane or a train—”

“Or run?”

“I was extremely disoriented,” he said. “Dizzy. It was as though I had…what is the human condition when the world seems to spin as though you’re drunk?”

“Vertigo?”

“Ah. Vertigo. Yes. So, I thought I might take some time to...collect myself.”

My questioning side eye gave him a chuckle. The silent response seemed loud enough.

“Pride,” he answered with a small smile. “Ego. My family believed I was making a terrible mistake leaving you behind. I didn't want them to think they were right.

“Of course, 800 hours later, nothing had changed. I could have killed eight minutes for all the good it did me. The second I walked through the door everyone knew I was…unwell.” Edward shrugged. He said no more.

"How unwell is 'unwell'?"

“Unwell, as in, had my family not regularly intervened, I would have lain on the same couch staring out the same window until it rotted away underneath me. It was the best shot I had at making it to the heat death of the universe.”

I knew he meant it as a joke, but I couldn’t bear to look at his weak smile.

“I was desperate to be unobtrusive. Silent. Nonexistent. I didn’t want to hang like a dark, poisonous cloud over everyone. But I did. It wasn’t long before Jasper had to leave, so paralyzed in the face of my overwhelming pain that he could barely function himself. Alice obviously left with him. Emmett and Rosalie followed suit after she and Carlisle got into a row over me. Even he and Esme began fighting over how to…handle me.” Bitter disgust permeated the air. “That was what hurt the most. Carlisle never gave up on me. He has remained faithful in my worst hours, always, and I…within months, had ruined everything he had spent decades building.”

“You didn’t ruin anything,” I said quietly.

“I know this man as well as— arguably better than— Esme. Carlisle is a wonderful leader, make no mistake. But he would have let it all burn. For nothing. I cannot even say he was doing it for me because it wasn’t me. He was giving up everything for a husk. No matter how sick I was, I couldn’t bring myself to leave Carlisle after everything.

COME NIGHTFALL EPILOGUE: PRELUDE - DVD COMMENTARY

“I walked,” he said.

“What?”

The patter of heavy rain became a light pittering drizzle.

“After making the worst mistake of my entire existence,” he said quietly, “I walked. From Washington to New York.”

"Walked? As in… walked? Like a human?" [no, walked like a penguin]

"I was in no state to face my family. Anyone, really. I didn’t dare go back to Forks for my car; I knew I’d go right back and beg you to forget whatever idiotic drivel had come out of my mouth. [New Moon AU where Edward comes back within an hour of breaking up, like, "ok that was a mistake"] I couldn’t very well take a bus or a plane or a train—”

“Or run?”

“I was extremely disoriented,” he said. “Dizzy. It was as though I had…what is the human condition when the world seems to spin as though you’re drunk?” [i go back and forth on whether i like this version of Edward who has no medical background. i edited his backstory in part to close one of Twilight's plot holes. (why does Edward suck out the venom if he also has medical training? why can't Carlisle clean her blood while Edward sets her bones? honestly, i find it rather cruel that canon Carlisle would convince Edward to drink his dying singer's blood.)

ultimately, it's an interesting character choice. Edward, a giant know-it-all who spent the last century acquiring all sorts of knowledge, suddenly finds himself dating a girl whose species he's learned little about. she confounds him in more ways than one. a concept!]

“Vertigo?”

“Ah. Vertigo. Yes. So, I thought I might take some time to...collect myself.”

My questioning side eye gave him a chuckle. The silent response seemed loud enough.

“Pride,” he answered with a small smile. “Ego. My family believed I was making a terrible mistake leaving you behind. I didn't want them to think they were right. [it felt like the only way to make the family less culpable in abandoning Bella was to have them vehemently disagree with Edward's choice. yes, they could have said "fuck it" & stayed for Bella's sake. but i think, as much as they disagreed with Edward, they wanted to support him as he has supported them through the years. i think they were afraid that sticking around for a human girl they barely knew would drive a wedge in the coven. little did they know it was unavoidable.]

“Of course, 800 hours later, nothing had changed. I could have killed eight minutes for all the good it did me. The second I walked through the door everyone knew I was…unwell.” Edward shrugged. He said no more.

"How unwell is 'unwell'?" [hoo boy]

“Unwell, as in, had my family not regularly intervened, I would have lain on the same couch staring out the same window until it rotted away underneath me [oh no, ambiguous pronoun :( i'll edit this]. It was the best shot I had at making it to the heat death of the universe.”

[this is inspired by /@gisellelx's Ithaca is Gorges (notably, Chapter 3: Paternity), as well as P.A. Lassiter's New Moon (Chapter 9: There). think: sad sack on the couch, spending hours & hours counting leaves & being held by his creator who hadn't fully realized (until it was too late) the kind of heart-ripping pain Edward would be in after leaving Bella. see also: a botched vivisection, animalistic catatonia, Alfred Schnittke's "Piano Quintet: IV. Lento"]

I knew he meant it as a joke, but I couldn’t bear to look at his weak smile.

“I was desperate to be unobtrusive. Silent. Nonexistent. I didn’t want to hang like a dark, poisonous cloud over everyone. [literally. i pictured his "bedroom" in the attic.] But I did. It wasn’t long before Jasper had to leave, so paralyzed in the face of my overwhelming pain that he could barely function himself. [idk if i've ever said this in the ITA series, but i've always seen Jasper as a synesthete. he tastes the emotions he feels, or certain emotions are associated with colors, or sounds, etc. so not only would Jasper be feeling Edward's pain, but he might be tasting a constant bitter/sour taste, or hearing a constant, clashing discord.] Alice obviously left with him. Emmett and Rosalie followed suit after she and Carlisle got into a row over me. [tl;dr Rose thinks coddling Edward won't make him better. she hates that everyone's acting like he's dead. it's his own fault he ruined himself, & Carlisle is bringing the rest of the family down with his son.] Even he and Esme began fighting over how to…handle me.” Bitter disgust permeated the air. “That was what hurt the most. Carlisle never gave up on me. He has remained faithful in my worst hours, always, and I…within months, had ruined everything he had spent decades building.” [love this line. buddy, you also helped build everything he has today!]

“You didn’t ruin anything,” I said quietly. [WELL...]

“I know this man as well as— arguably better than [lol]— Esme [and yet...i can see it 😏]. Carlisle is a wonderful leader, make no mistake. But he would have let it all burn. For nothing. I cannot even say he was doing it for me because it wasn’t me. He was giving up everything for a husk. No matter how sick I was, I couldn’t bring myself to leave Carlisle after everything.

[ok, i LOVE the messy, complicated beauty of this Edward/Carlisle. i love that Carlisle would burn Volterra down for his son. i love that Edward would follow Carlisle off a cliff despite his doubts. yes, after 90 years together, they took each other for granted - Carlisle perhaps saw Edward as a permanent fixture, & Edward has admitted to not fully grasping the complexity of Carlisle's role as coven leader. but in the end, they would rather poison themselves & each other with love than be without each other. Neat & Cool]

send me 500 words of my fanfic & i will give you the equivalent of a DVD commentary on that snippet

[bookreviewcoffee]

No one expected it, but I read it.

Stephenie Morgan Meyer "Twilight"

Finished reading Twilight, what can I say, I didn't like the main character very much. Bella is quite contradictory.She is clumsy to the point of absurdity, but she is a great driver. She is strongly fixated on Edward and his beauty.The relationship between Bella and Edward is understandable, it's their first crush.After reading the book as an adult, I realized how annoying Bella and Edward are with their behavior. And realized how good the other characters were. Bella was annoying with her crush. I realize it's first love and all your thoughts are only about the guy you like, but it was too much. Constant thoughts of how beautiful Edward is, like an angel. It also remains a mystery what those around her actually found in her. After all, initially Bella is described as withdrawn, silent, frowning, with the usual unimpressive appearance and not following fashion, and then one - and almost all the guys try to hit on her. And after reading the book, I still don't understand what Bella was able to hook Edward with. Other than the fact that he couldn't read her mind and that he likes her scent, there's nothing special about her. It's scary to imagine what boring and uninteresting people Edward was surrounded by since Bella had him so hooked. In general, if I used to like the love line, now my opinion has changed. The relationships of the characters, in my opinion, looked maximally dramatized, exaggerated. And if Bella's behavior is still understandable because of her age, why does Edward, a hundred-year-old vampire, behave as if he were seventeen too? Bella literally dissolves into Edward, loses her self. This is especially noticeable in the second and third books. Sometimes it felt like she was uncomfortable in this relationship. I was missing some thinking, some reasoning. Bella is perfectly comfortable accepting Edward's vampire nature, not only that, she wants to become a vampire herself. And that wouldn't be a problem if it weren't for one thing: a complete lack of thought. Bella is ready to give up everything, to reshape her human life, to forget about her friends and relatives for the sake of a guy she's known for only a couple months. And yet not a single thought of what she loses. That kind of love is akin to insanity. What I liked was the easy and atmospheric reading of Forks with its forests, the smells of wet leaves, the meadows with colorful flowers, the beautiful views from the Cullen home. A moment that clarifies for us how Alice became a vampire.One of the best aspects of the novel is Edward's strong family ties. I especially like Carlisle and Alice, although Emmett is also a very interesting character! Jasper is quite mysterious, and Rosalie hates Bella for no apparent reason. Concerned for the well-being of the family? It's possible. Then Rosalie is the most appropriate character in this story. Esme is very sweet and caring!

[goldeneyedgirl]

AILess Whumptober Day 5: Held at Gunpoint

silence. (day 5: held at gunpoint).

twilight, alice/jasper, pg, post-twilight. canon-verse. trigger warnings: school shooting, mention of suicide.

This prompt was so cursed, I can't even. I just had such a hard time with it, but we persevere. It definitely ended up way longer than I wanted and like... it's done. It's fantastically wonky, but hopefully it works.

Day 6 will be politely skipped over for now, and we resume tomorrow with Day 7.

There are many, many things that Alice Cullen has never done. She’s never eaten ice cream, she’s never fallen asleep, she’s never accidentally cut herself. She can’t, but that’s beside the point - on the list of things and experiences she’s had in her life time, they remain absent.

There are million little things she never got to do. It’s not something she thinks about much; she’s seen and done and had so many other beautiful, wonderful, fantastic experiences that what she has missed out on don’t seem to matter that much. How many people get to dance barefoot under the Northern Lights? How many people get to go on long, lazy tours of entire continents without a single responsibility in the world? Not to have to worry about where their next meal is coming from? Or know that they can always study a different degree next go-round?

When she does get to mentally cross off a new experience, it’s usually with joy. The list gets shorter the older she gets, so new things are almost always wonderful.

But this time… well, she’s sorry that this will be an experience that she gets to cross off her list. More for her classmates than herself.

But then, maybe it’s becoming the quintessential American high school experience and this moment was inevitable.

(The silence is chilling.)

Study hall in the library is the one class she doesn’t have with Edward, Bella, or Jasper. She thought about changing it, but they all decided that having one of them not in class could be potentially useful to them - not to mention that it’s fine and healthy for Jasper to have classes without her. Esme’s always lovingly exasperated when the school sends messages home that they’re bordering on unhealthily codependent and maybe someone should look into that. This was a positive step towards looking more normal.

So she had kept study hall after lunch and now she’s sitting next to Nicole Casey who is trying not to cry, second-guessing her choices. Samantha Wells is two seats down and shaking perceptibly and every single one of them are staring very hard at their books.

She’s so very, very glad Bella had Bio with Edward after lunch.

(She can feel the ghost of her heart pounding in her ears as she tries to find a way out. But her gift won’t settle, as the future fluctuates.)

Forks is small enough that it’s hard not to know something about everyone, especially classmates - Beth’s mother has made several inappropriate passes at Emmett, Lee Stephen’s little sister has just gone into remission from leukemia, Jennifer Ford can’t manage to keep a part-time job longer than a month. Just useless nonsense that she habitually picks up for no reason.

Which is why when Kirk stormed into the library, the hair stood up on the back of her neck. He was always one of the quiet ones, slipping through the crowds without notice, coming into study hall with his head down and taking the first seat at the left-hand desk. He listened to angry music the whole time, and ignored everyone else. He was the occasional punchline to a joke, but mostly he was just another face in the junior class. Except…

Kirk’s father had been one of the workers laid off recently, when another lumber company closed up shop. A lot of families had been struggling lately, another closure had made things worse for the town, and there was only so much that could be done - Esme made sure the local food pantry was overflowing (anonymously, of course), the Cullens made regular donations of clothing to the church and the local thrift store, and Carlisle was volunteering for as many shifts in the walk-in clinic that he could get away with.

Work would come, she had seen that. By the end of summer, things would pick up again. But it wasn’t like they could tell people that, or that it made time speed up. They just had to wait.

And worry and stress created anger, and anger could come out in so many ways - like the men that lined up outside the liquor store and the one bar on the end of the town limits. The yelling and frustration towards everyone still surviving and thriving - they’d started driving Emmett’s Jeep to school, much to Rosalie’s displeasure. And the bruises that littered Kirk’s face, the way the kid hid inside his hoodie and glared at anyone that walked past. Jasper had visibly recoiled from the boy when he got too close, the distaste he had visible on his face from whatever emotions Kirk was emitting.

Oh, Jasper. She wishes he was here, so she could hold his hand. But she’s glad he’s not because she can practically feel the tension and fear and rage in this room right now; if he were here, he’d be suffering.

(Rob Sawyer is starting to wheeze, and Mrs Garcia is visibly crying. This is going to get worse before it gets better.)

“…think you’re better than me!” Kirk rants, pacing, the gun shiny and obscene in one hand. There’s a bullet hole in the check-out desk - a warning shot. “How many times, Sawyer? Huh? Since middle school?” Suddenly the gun is pressed to Rob Sawyer’s temple, and the boy squeezes his eyes shut, his lungs straining for oxygen. He is as white as a ghost, his skin waxy white, and it’s a long way from the boy that offered her a flower on Valentine’s Day last year because ‘Hale needed to know there was competition’ with a wink and a grin.

She’s waiting for the shot, waiting for the sound of the body hitting the ground.

Just as suddenly as he jammed the gun against Rob, Kirk moves on. He’d just walked into the library like a thunderstorm, reached into his backpack and pulled out the gun - a handgun, most likely used by his parents to ‘protect their home’. She hadn’t even seen it coming, because he hadn’t made the choice to take it out, to do this, right up until that exact moment.

She didn’t even know how long he’d been carrying it around. She’d never seen anything. She can’t even see how this is going to end. Everything is in flux.

Kirk’s walking round their seats now, reciting their sins and pressing the gun against their skin. Sara turned him down in middle school, Cole beat him up last year for some reason that isn’t mentioned. A laundry list of crimes that he hisses and yells and sneers back at them, grotesquely empowered to stand his ground now. She keeps her gaze fixed on the table. She can feel the metal of her seat bending where her hand is gripping it, and she has to take a breath and calm herself.

(The very, very worst thing that could happen is that Kirk does shoot one of them. Free-flowing blood… she’s intensely aware that in this moment, that will break her.)

He’s around at her table now, and she’s trying to brace herself for what comes next. She’s never had a gun pointed at her before - except for Emmett’s paintball guns; she’d been more mad that he’d point a paintball gun at her vintage Alaia, honestly. And Jasper has some vintage guns, sentimental collectibles, but even though a bullet wouldn’t do anything more than ruin her outfit, he’d rip off his own arms before he pointed a gun at his wife.

So this is new. Very new.

“Nicole Casey,” Kirk says in that sing-song voice that is unnerving. “The one who started the rumour that I pad my swimsuit because someone this ‘scrawny couldn’t have anything worthwhile going on’? Do you know what you did, Nicole? Do you know?” Everyone knows. It’s a running school joke. She’s heard from her brothers the absolute bullshit that goes on in the locker room; they’ll only intervene if it crosses over from verbal to physical, per Cullen family policy. Jasper might intervene with his gift if it’s appropriate but honestly, Jasper escapes the locker rooms like a road runner most days. Human eyes might not be able to see the scars easily, but he refuses to risk it.

The gun slides through Nicole’s hair and he leans over her shoulder. “Bang.”

And Nicole slumps in her seat, audibly sobbing.

(Everyone else is being evacuated. They can hear them; the hurried footsteps trying not to burst into a run, the tears and the desperation to be swift and as quiet as possible. There’s some yelling, people calling out for their friends and siblings, panic in their voice. It feels very far away right now.)

She feels very distant from everything that’s happening in the room right now. She wonders if Edward can hear her; the library is at the back of the school, they’ve probably evacuated everyone to the front in the hopes they can get the students off campus. She hopes Jasper is staying calm. She’s going to be fine.

The muzzle of the gun is suddenly against the back of her neck bringing her back into the moment, and it’s an odd feeling that brings up an entirely new scenario to worry about - if Kirk, who she’s never spoken with, decides to shoot her. The bullet will ricochet; if the gun is flush against her skin, it’ll backfire and… it’ll be a mess. A big one that will be hard to explain.

“Little Alice Cullen. The Cullens never give anyone the time of day. Too high and mighty to deal with us lowlifes.” The gun slides down the top of her spine. “Driving around in your sister’s car that cost more than a house. You think you’re just so much better than any one else that you had to keep it in the family rather than slum it with anyone from Forks. What’s it like, Alice? Huh? When you f-”

(It’s rather hypocritical for him to bring up their admittedly terrible cover story that she’s fucking her ‘brother’, after condemning Rob and Nicole for ruining his life over rumours and personal stuff.)

She turns her head slightly; his breath hot and damp against her face. The gun moves to jam into the space between her jaw and neck. She wishes she was alone with him right now. She’s been a Cullen for decades, she knows how to stage a suicide with the best of them.

The library doors suddenly bang open, and they all jump; including Kirk. She knows that they’re all expecting Chief Swan or one of the police, and Mrs Garcia’s face is an expression of horror when she realizes who it is.

The only person who expects him is her. The fear and anxiety that have been pouring off her would be like a beacon to him. Edward might be able to read her mind, but Jasper will always hear her when she calls - even when she doesn’t mean to.

But the very easiest way to get out of this without bloodshed is with an empath. Especially an empath who knows how to manage people. In the right head space, Jasper could sell milk to cows.

And honestly, in any bad situation, he just makes it better. Everything is going to be okay if Jasper’s there. That’s how it’s always been for her.

Except… his expression is dark. Calm, but dark. Angry. He’s so angry right now, his fists tensing at his sides. The muzzle of the gun slides back along her neck to press hard against where her neck joins her head and she hopes it doesn’t bend.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” Kirk snaps, and his other hand grips the shoulder of her sweater. “If you take another goddamn step, I am going to blow her head off.”

(Someone has wet themselves. She doesn’t know who, but the smell is distinct and she’s just so intensely aware that other than the librarian, she’s surrounded by children - sixteen and seventeen years old, facing down a peer, a classmate, a friend who is threatening them with death because he’s tired of life being cruel. She just feels sorry for them, the ones that will close their eyes and not be able to forget this day, forget the barrel of the gun against their skin, and the knowledge that they might never get to say good bye to everyone they love.)

“You’re going to put the gun down.” Jasper’s voice is low. “Alice?”

“I’m okay.” Her voice quivers perfectly, she sounds like a panicked teenager trying to stay calm. Her hands are balled up in her skirt, and she’s playing the part perfectly.

“Get the fuck out, Hale,” Kirk has a slightly hysterical tone to his voice.

“Kirk, put the gun down.” Jasper’s having trouble with picking the correct flavour of calm right now, she can tell - the room is full of terror and rage. Their secret could be exposed. He’s pissed off that it was her class that Kirk chose for his vendetta.

“Make me,” Kirk snaps and Alice kind of wants to laugh. Emmett said that to Jasper once in the seventies over something. She can’t even remember what - a remote control car? Some gadget that they were both fascinated with. She just remembered that it ended with Jasper taking Emmett up on his challenge with the kind of swift and decisive action that guaranteed a humiliating defeat. One of those incidents that became family lore.

(Bella will like that story, she has to remember to tell her.)

Jasper’s eyes narrow in a way that sealed the deaths of thousands of newborns and humans back in the day, and Alice takes a breath to try and center herself. Having Kirk so close to her is uncomfortable - he doesn’t smell even fainting good, and honestly, other than Bella, she’s not usually touched all that much by humans; usually it’s accidental or incidental touching, not a grip. It’s very odd and she’s hyper-aware of him; she almost wishes he’d still been tormenting Nicole when Jasper walked in.

“You’ve made your point,” Jasper shrugged. “You’ve scared the shit out of everyone in this school, not just this room. No one is ever going to tell a joke about you again. Hell, they probably won’t talk about you ever again. And you did it without spilling any blood. You can walk away from this.”

That’s stretching the truth - Kirk’s going to prison after this, maybe after a stay in a psychiatric ward. A student can’t bring a firearm to school and go back home that night. That’s not how this ends. But it doesn’t have to get worse than that. There’s still light in the tunnel.

“Maybe I don’t fucking want to,” Kirk says back nastily. “Maybe I’m going to blow your sister-wife’s brains out.”

“That won’t end well for you.” Jasper moves closer. Everyone is transfixed. “Alice has never done anything to you, Kirk. Just put down the gun.”

(She can feel his finger shaking on the trigger. As much as fresh blood flowing is the very worst idea right now, having the bullet hit her flesh and explode the gun would end this quickly. She wonders if they can control themselves long enough to get out if someone starts bleeding.)

It hits her first; she’s always been especially vulnerable to his gift - maybe because she knows it so intimately, knows that it’s him, that she lets it happen. But she’s suddenly so calm and peaceful that she visibly relaxes. Everything is going to be okay.

Kirk’s breathing changes, and then the gun is falling away from her body and he is stepping backwards.

“The gun, Kirk.” Jasper’s voice isn’t kind, but it is firm, and she watches Kirk hold it out and maybe she holds her breath that he doesn’t change his mind at the last moment and fire it at Jasper.

Jasper’s hands close over it and she lets out a breath, closing her eyes for a moment, as Kirk drops to the ground and he begins to cry. There’s no pity in her for him right now; just relief for the others. Gratitude that her husband always has her back and is, at heart, a hero. She watches as he disassembles the gun with the intention of unloading it.

The bullets fall like rain onto the carpeted floor, and Jasper tosses the gun behind the check-out desk, and that’s when everyone comes back to life, scrambling faster than they can get their bodies to move. There’s yelling and tears and they all run, Kirk still sobbing on the floor.

She expects Jasper to take her hand, to pull her along with him into the hallway, to quietly get their stories straight so that she doesn’t have to go to hospital or talk to the police. Except he doesn’t.

He pulls her into the kind of hug that feels desperate and relieved. He’s wrapped around her like she might actually have gotten hurt, like he was actually worried for her, terrified of the outcome.

“We need to go,” she says, and he grunts his assent, but he doesn’t immediately move away. And when he finally does, he keeps one arm around her as they move through the school - no debrief, no instructions. Just the two of them hurrying outside to join the chaos.

(There’s a local news station there, and she’s relieved that they waited to leave the building, because no one really notices them slipping out to join the crowds; the police pushing past both of them to get inside and find Kirk.)

“We should have taken the gun,” she says as Jasper leads her away, towards where she can see their siblings sitting on the Jeep, waiting; Edward’s holding his phone to his ear, probably speaking with Esme or Carlisle. “We shouldn’t have left it with him.”

“I don’t care.” Jasper’s words are ice cold - and clairvoyant because seconds later, they all hear a gunshot ring out and when she gasps and turns to look around, he just wraps his arms around her protectively and keeps her moving towards their family.

(She sees Charlie, looking tired and angry; he makes eye contact with her and nods but doesn’t come over. She knows at some point, Charlie is going to come looking for her and Jasper - once he’s interviewed all the other students and Mrs Garcia, and finds out that they were right in the middle of this mess.)

She’s not really sure about getting home - she knows that she was bundled into the backseat with Jasper next to her; that Edward and Bella are following in Bella’s truck. She knows that Jasper has his arms around her the entire time, and that she’s never felt a tiredness like this before. Rose and Emmett keep looking at her in the backseat with these solemn expressions, like she’s going to keel over at any moment. And yeah, she did fuck up - she never should have missed that a student was carrying a gun around school, especially with Bella around. But she doesn’t want to think about that right now, and she doesn’t want anyone else to point that out either. She just leans against Jasper and lets everything wash over her, the conversation over her head indecipherable to her ears.

It all passes in a blur until she’s climbing out of the Jeep to find Esme there looking stricken, barely waiting for Alice to have both her feet on the ground before she’s pulled into a hug.

“Oh sweet girl,” Esme says, and she’s confused why everyone is behaving like she could have gotten hurt. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” she says, but Esme hugs her again - a proper mom hug, the ones she reserves for really, really bad days (slips, Maria’s unscheduled visits, the death of a human family member) and it doesn’t feel like she’s really done anything to deserve it.

“I’ll call Carlisle and let him know you’re all home safe,” Esme says, pressing a kiss to Alice’s forehead.

Edward and Bella aren’t back yet, so she doesn’t protest when Jasper gently guides her upstairs to their room, and folds her into their bed, his arms tight around her. And it’s her favourite place in the world right now; the familiar scent of the bedding, the way they both curl together in their usual positions with her head on his shoulder. It makes her feel like the world has tipped the right way up again. Like maybe her mind was still in that library, and it’s only just caught up with her body.

“How are you feeling?” Jasper asks, as if he can’t feel exactly what she is. She smiles and curls closer to him.

“I’m fine. I think you’ve all forgotten that if Kirk had tried anything, he would have hurt himself,” she replies. “I was more worried he’d damage the gun. How would we have explained that?”

Jasper’s giving her a look. “What? Are you okay? I haven’t seen you that mad in a long, long time. It couldn’t be because you missed American History.” Jasper hates that class; he’s lived through the real life events and the class so many times that the course work drives him nuts.

“I found my wife held at gunpoint today; it’s been mildly stressful,” he says lazily, but she can see the strain in his eyes.

“Jas…” she says softly. “We’re bulletproof. There’s nothing he could have done to us.”

“He might not have been able to hurt you, but he had the intention to,” Jasper explains, his fingers stroking her cheek. “He wanted to hurt you, Alice, and that is… entirely unacceptable to me. I walked in there to get you - and you alone - out of that room because of his rage and his hatred towards everyone in that room. If it had just been us, I would have… well, if he hadn’t cleaned up after himself, I would have done it for him. For even looking at you while holding that gun.”

She shivers in his arms, knowing that he means what he says. It could have been a few weeks from now, with Kirk home on bail, or it could have been ten years from now, on parole and starting over. Jasper would have found him and killed him. She knows her husband, and he holds a grudge - especially when it comes to her safety and happiness.

“There is a special terror in the sight of a fire arm for a human,” Jasper continues more gently. “They end a life so absolutely… I remember the first time I had to shoot one of our animals, when I was a child. It was such a terrible moment, it’s been over a hundred years and I’ve never forgotten it. The same with the first man I killed in war. A gun is a heavy responsibility, a way of playing god, when you’re mortal. It’s looking into the eyes of death.”

“…and I can’t really grasp that,” she says finally. “Because I’ve got no memory of them as a human.”

“There was never any doubt that you would leave that room whole, I know. But there will never, ever be a time when I won’t defend you from someone that intends you harm, whether that’s some high school kid or some kind of monster. You are always going to be my priority, the thing that I protect over everything else.” Jasper pressed his lips against her cheek and she reached up to run her fingers through his hair.

She loves him, all of him - his single-minded focus, especially towards her; his determination, his practicality, and even his over-protectiveness.

And she knows that at some point, they’re going to have deal with the fact that Kirk killed himself because of their carelessness, speaking with police on record, with the entire school knowing that they were in the eye of the storm. All those little things that could expose them, that make them memorable. She’ll let herself feel sad for Rob and Nicole and everyone else who was there who can’t sleep without feeling the barrel of the gun against their skin.

But right now, she’s going to stay here safe in her husband’s arms and be grateful for the fact that no matter what, he’s always going to come running when she calls.

[infintesimoon]

annual rewatch

twilight.

-I've never really noticed how many little details there are just in the opening act. CH really went all fucking out

all the students turning to watch Bella walk by on the first day

the fucking mumble of "No one appreciates the onion" Mr. molina does after the class laughs at the golden onion trophy (I fuckin love this onion)

the Cullen crest try and necklaces and rings, etc. (tight as fuck) ((tho it kinda worryingly makes me question if the non beta-read version of the 50 Shades OG fanfic had a branding scene, tbh))

** addendum, the second day diner scene: the waitress has a shamrock necklace and is very broken up about Waylon's death and I just wanted to point that out, given his kiss me im irish shirt and also!! their earlier exasperated-carer-of-beloved-idiot and said-beloved-idiot vibes in the first diner scene.

- "it's the fluorescents"

maybe edward is such a bad liar because normally he can just look into the other persons mind and see exactly how effective it is at any given moment. or, more likely, simply see what the person most likely assumes or would be open to believing, and he just leans into it hard. trying to make it up from scratch is hard.

which is why he says the whole "adrenaline rush" line with such a fuckin weird fave and tone I'm assuming.

- I want a golden onion. that is all.

- the fact that Waylon's kiss me I'm irish shirt is now Victoria's....

- Donate to the Quileute Tribe's Move to Higher Ground effort.

-I WAS TODAY YEARS DUMB WHEN I REALIZEX ALICE IS THE PITCHER CUZ SHE'S THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN TIME IT PERFECTLY WITH THE THUNDER!

this does raise the concerning question of whether or not this Makes No Sense (TM) as I'm like 67% certain that she can only see decided futures? Who decides when the thunder happens? does this imply Thor is real? or that Perun had been killed once again by Veles? or what? is this an example of definite futures set in stone? or does she only know because she's seen all of this due to a vision about say, Carlisle, deciding they would play baseball today when he was watching the local weather station earlier today???

-edward is an idiot if I read the dudes kind and was like oh, he's a tracker, he wants to kill Bella, I would simply rally the family and commit murder then and there.

- I refuse to believe hurting Charlie this way was the only, not least of which the right, choice.

I hate this entire scene. Charlie loves Bella so much and the added earlier scene the Bella (a few days after her father's friend of 30 yes has died) told him that she likes being alone and "must get that from [him]"??!?! I am so missed. Charlie deserved better. he's also literally in grave danger due to his lack of knowledge I. the situation (he's hunting Victoria's coven, and has no clue, and literally Victoria gives a bitch a heart attack. Harry Clearwater I'm pretty sure?)

- what is the limit of Jasper's emotional manipulation power? exactly??

he seems overwhelmed when everyone is crowding Bella after the near crash with Tyler's van, but can't tell that Bella is anxious or planning something when she sneaks off to get to the ballet studio???

- it's hot when Alice rips James's head off.

I said what I said, that's all.

- JUST FUCKING LET . HER. TURN. U . DUMMY.

-Alternatively, CARLISLE YOU'VE HAD THE STRENGTH AND OR FULL TUMMY ENOUGH TO TURN LIKE 6 PEOPLE; THE FUCK WHY ARENT YOU THE ONE SUCKING OUT THE VENOM??? U TELLING ME THAT NONE OF UR FUCKING KIDS EVER TOOK A FIRST AID COURSE? ROSALIE HAS NEVER HAD HUMAN BLOOD SURELY SHE COULD DO THE FIRST AID BIT?

- Alice tossing herself thru a window is still the funniest fucking thing

- Why does edward's hoodie have no strings like he just got out of a pysch hold???????

- the codependency is real and icky

- I've been noticing it the entire movie but the poorly disguised 5 o'clock shadow that eddie boy permanently has etched onto his jaw is the most nonsense part of this whole fuckin thing.

- "... but 20 bucks is 20 bucks, "Jacob, agreeing to ominously threaten his friend.

-I, for one, refuse to believe that Alice doesn't regularly host house parties.

maybe the first few months no one showed up because she was the weird Alaska girl with the culty family and matching jewelry and the constipated boyfriend. I'm headcanoning that Alice has been planning parties for years, once a month, and then using her visions to pre-screen invite rsvp's and deciding not to because no one said yes.

now that I'm crying, let's continue.

- every time I consume twilight I think, huh, does Bella really love Edward, or just rhe mystery and idea of romanticized immortal bliss and opportunity that he represents. does edward love Bella? or is he just seeing the first challenge in decades, who happens to be witty and surprising and who he likes the smell of a lot, but wants to keep her human specifically because he wants the excitement of her being sort of this innocent untouched damsel in constant distress who he can watch sleep and gaslight into being his own personal Bella Novella.

-the fact that vistoria dressed up for their prom??? why??

she... she's in a separate building??? what was the point story wise? like, we g e t it, Rachel Lafevre is hot.

that is all

[cullen-cannons]

Twilight Hunger Games AU

Chapter One - The Reaping

Part Four: Edward

The room in the justice building is very . . . green. It's filled with fake foliage and taxidermied squirrels and songbirds. They stare at me with pity in their eyes. I turn away and ignore them.

A second later my parents enter the room. They hug me tightly, I suppose by now they've figured out my intentions.

"You must know that we aren't angry with you, Edward," Esme says

"Yes, we understand why you did it," Carlisle explains.

Tears sting in my eyes, hot and thick, not out of regret for my choice but out of anger at President Volturi and everyone in the Capitol. It's true, I like there music, but I'm nto blind to the way they have the time and resources to express their emotions, while the districts suffer in silence.

"I-I'm sorry Dad, Mom. I'm sorry, but I just can't let her die, not like this. I have to do something, I need to."

"We know, son." Carlisle pats my back gently, and Esme kisses the top of my head.

I can feel her breath hitch with more tears on the way, "And we'll always believe in you, no matter what. This is what you've chosen, now just please be careful." 

The door opens again and Alice bounds in.

I can tell she's angry, and she opens her mouth but Esme holds up a hand to stop her. Rosalie just glares, but I can see the fear behind it, it tells me all I need to know.

"Raise hell for me, eh little bro!" Emmet shouts, but nobody responds, we have no idea how.

"I hope you know what you're doing Edward. I would like to have my step-brother back in one piece." Jasper has the same look he always does, calm, but a little concerned, but I can tell he's sincere. Anger bleeds through his words ever so slightly, leaking through his usually unshakable calm. He loves Alice more than anything and he knows how close Alice and I are. He's probably upset that I'd do something like this to her. I am too.

His expression sends the first stab of regret through me. Alice will be distraught by my death, what if Jasper does something? I know he'd never purposefully do anything that could endanger Alice, but he's like the old grenades that the news channels make a big deal out of when they get unearthed in the ruined District Thirteen (further evidence of the Capitol's domination), sometimes it feels as if he could explode at any moment, that he wants to. What if he lets even some of that pent-up anger against the capitol escape?

Alice looks caught between crying, fainting, and being sick, just as I was back on stage. It makes me remember the feeling, that when I made eye contact with her tears began to drip down her face.

Alice, who always knows what to say looks lost for words, and so am I.

"Time's almost up Ali. Why don't you hug Edward before we all have to face the mob at the station, hmm. I'll be outside." Jasper kisses her cheek and then steps out. He married into the family, and it saddens Esme that he doesn't feel fully a part of it, but I can't deny the relief I feel to only be surrounded by my siblings and parents.

Alice just nods and we embrace, Emmet, Carlisle, and Esme join in, but only Rosalie stays against the wall, scowling in anger, (at me, and the world in general) and plucking feathers from a taxidermy robin.

I hear a distant buzzing and a Peacekeeper steps in and grabs my arm, Carlisle holds me tight against him and Esme. I feel like a toy being fought over. The Peacekeeper gives Carlisle a look but lets go.

After he relinquishes me he steps closer to my father, until his visor is almost touching the tip of Carlis's nose. "Time's up. Train's due in five, let's go." His voice is a soldier's command, a gruff and demanding shout. Carlis maintains his careful calm but I see Isabella's mother, who's being led out the other door with her daughter, flinching.

[futuremrsdrcullen]

Heyyyy. I have some requests if you don't mind!!

you get into an accident and Carlisle finds you. You wake up to Carlisle working over you. Carlisle gives you the option to be treated at his house. He gives you the option to be changed. You are super nervous and he is super sweet and gentle and walks you through everything.

You are a friend of the Cullen's (especially Alice). You go to their house to hang out and you start having a panic attack but try to hide it. Carlisle and Jasper find you and help you through it!

First, let me say that I am so, so, SO sorry this took actually forever to write. This was the first time I was writing of my I'm Always in this Twilight comfort blanket and oh boy did I feel lost at first.

I'm not kidding when I say I wrote this 3 times, with three different settings lol

But I finally settled with something I'm content with and here it is!!! I decided to only write the first one, BUT stay tuned because I do have something like the second one planned for my version of Eclipse <3

Anyway! Enough from me! Thank you so so much for sending in such creative requests.

Thank you for reading and Enjoying my work <3

Much love

~Claire <3

Masterlist

Blurb title: Burning

word count: 1457

So many WARNINGS: Car accidents, blood, dying, pain, burning (but not actual fire just the feeling of burning) prolonged pain, wishing to die, sad.

I Promise it does have a happy ending <3 being turned into a vampire is not an easy process. Carlisle is the sweetest softest boy around.

THIS IS NOT CANON TO IAITT and will not be added to that masterlist. It's also why I didn't tag the normal taglist. Thanks again <3

Everything felt like slow motion. I took a turn too fast. I hit a patch of ice. I lost control. I don’t think I even heard the glass breaking. I couldn’t even tell what song was on the radio.

But I knew I was dying. 

I knew my car was resting on the driver's side door somewhere off the road. I didn’t think the passing cars would even know I was down there. I squeezed my eyes closed and hoped I would just fall asleep. 

I don’t know how long I stayed there, but I could feel the cool air surrounding me.I heard his voice before I saw him, I thought I imagined it.

“Y/n?” He sounded frantic, I didn’t open my eyes. “Y/n, please, sweetheart can you hear me.” 

I still didn’t open my eyes but I tried to nod my head. I didn’t think I could will my voice to work.

“Dove, I’m going to pull you out of the car, okay? Tell me if anything hurts too much.” I nodded again. I didn’t really feel anything but cold. Then I was out of the car and in his arms. Only then did I allow myself to open my eyes.  There was so much pain in his features.

He knew I was dying too.

He spoke softly “I- I can take you to the hospital…” I’d never heard him stutter, it broke my heart. I shook my head, not knowing if I would even make it there. “I can take you home.”

I gave him a look, he knew what I meant without it needing to be said. I was running out of time. “Carlisle…” His face twisted in pain. “Change me…”

“Y/n. You can’t make that choice right now.”

I tried to pull myself together enough to sound confident. “It’s what I would have chosen anyway. I want this.” I took one more steady breath. “I’m not ready to say goodbye to you yet…” It was barely above a whisper.

I think he wanted to cry. He hid his face in my hair and just breathed me in. “I need you to be sure.”

I nodded. I am sure. I wanted to tell him but the words wouldn’t come out. My heart beat felt like a timer. He looked into my eyes, he cupped my cheek, he kissed my forehead. I don’t think I felt any of it.

His voice was still shaky, but he sounded far away. “Okay- Okay. I’m gonna bite you here and-and then I’ll take you home, alright love?” I think I nodded. “Stay with me just a bit longer.” I felt his lips on mine. I held on to the feeling with everything I had left. I felt him whisper “I love you, Y/n”

As I closed my eyes, I felt his lips on my neck; The action alone made my heart quicken, I hoped that was a good thing. Then a sharp, shooting pain. Then nothing. 

~

I could feel time passing, but I couldn’t judge how much. I was out for some time, enough time to get home, but eventually the pain woke me up. I screamed and thrashed and prayed- for the first time in a very long time- that the burning would stop. How much more of me was left to burn? How was I anything more than ash?

“I’m so sorry, Y/n” His voice was broken. It pulled me to the surface, if only for a moment.

Carlisle, Carlisle, Carlisle.

I could hear him pacing. I tried to cling to the sound. Tried to use it as something to ground me. I could hear him. I wasn’t dead, though I very much wanted to be. I wanted to hold my hand out to him; I must have held it out to him. I felt his cool fingers intertwined with mine. I tried to squeeze him. He squeezed my hand.

It could have been seconds, hours, days, later, but again his voice pulled me to the surface. The pain didn’t feel as deep. I didn’t regret asking him to turn me, I just wanted it to be over.

“It won’t be long now, Cara” I think I nodded, though with all the screaming and thrashing I doubt anyone noticed.

I didn’t let go of his hand.

More time passed- Probably.

I let him let go of my hand but I still felt him in the room. Eventually I could smell him in the room- Eventually I could hear him once I was able to stop screaming.

He was caught somewhere between doctor mode and husband mode. He gave me soft encouragement. He promised it wouldn’t be too much longer. I really wanted to believe him. I honestly think his presence was the only thing keeping me sane. 

I heard paper shuffling, I counted how many pages turned. I wondered if he was reading, or working, or taking notes on my transformation. I counted 388 page turns. He set whatever it was down 28 times, usually followed by a sigh, usually followed by a soft touch I hardly felt. His hands got warmer. Or, I guess my skin got colder. 

If my heartbeat felt like a timer before; Now it felt like an alarm.

All of the pain slowly moved from the tips of my fingers and toes. It still traveled through my veins but I could feel it leaving. As it moved, the limbs felt normal- no pain, no heat. I almost wanted to try breathing again. I didn’t.

Unfortunately, all of the burning moved closer and closer to my heart. Each inch it moved in my veins sent my heart wild. 

Then my chest was the only thing burning. And my heart beat as fast as butterfly wings but in heavy stomps. 

This is it… I thought. It has to be. 

I cried out once more…

Then it was over. Everything was so still. I didn’t move, so afraid the if I even wiggled a finger I would burn again. 

Breaking the silence, Carlisle’s voice called to me. I didn’t think about it, I just wanted to find him. I opened my eyes and was stunned by the light. More than that, I was so overwhelmed by absolutely everything in the room. I sat up faster than I would have ever been able to.

Then Carlisle’s arms were around me, like he was there to steady me; I had never felt more steady in my life. 

“Careful, Dove. You’re alright.” This time I was stunned by his voice. It was clear and smooth and intoxicating. It always has been, but this felt like the first time I had ever heard it clearly. 

I wanted to speak, but I had no air to carry my voice. I would have to breathe to speak and somehow that was terrifying. I didn’t know how anything could be scary after everything I had just felt. 

Instead I studied his features. His eyes were so bright and golden. He placed a soft hand on my cheek, and when I didn’t feel the chill of his skin, I took a sharp breath. Breathing wasn’t as scary as I expected, though it did hurt. 

I remember from Bella’s transformation that newborns woke up thirsty and though it had been explained to me, I never could have really imagined what that would feel like. I had never experienced thirst like this. Everything was so dry and hot. I was almost convinced I’d swallowed a lit match. The air that filled my throat fed the flames. I wanted to scream again. 

Instead I looked at him, my eyes catching his again. I let the pain pass for another moment.

“Carlisle…” I knew I whispered, I wanted to whisper it, but it felt so loud. I didn’t recognize my own voice. His smile widened. I wanted to kiss him.

“Y/n…” 

“This is all real?” I knew it was. I had to ask anyway.

He laughed softly. “It’s very real.” I nodded though I wasn’t sure I believed him. I didn't really know how to believe him. Everything happened so quickly. 

Only then did I notice the others giggling too. 

Almost all of them were there. Alice and Jasper, Rose and Emmett, Edward and Bella, they all watched me in complete wonder.

And Carlisle.

Carlisle, Carlisle, Carlisle. 

He was real and he was here and we could live happily ever after. It probably wouldn’t be as graceful as Bella’s transformation, but with all of them by my side, I could do this. Everything would be alright. The pain was over, but my life was new.

What I thought would be the end, was actually my first steps into forever.

taglist: @a-not-so-poetic-poet @jakanddexter67 @bridge597 @gaymazinglula @arg888cam

[therealvinelle]

Hi, I was reading a post here in Tumblr about how Edward has two gifts, he can hear thoughts and is super fast, so I wonder what is your opinion about this topic?.

Furthermore, what others power might the Volturi's leaders and guards might have?

Edward has one gift, and it’s telepathy. Being fast isn’t a gift.

Strength, speed and even senses is varied among vampires. Some, like Emmett, are on the extreme end, but that doesn’t make Emmett gifted, nor does it mean that the rest are at an equal level. The Cullens have clear variations between them.

Physique appears to play a dominant role in how these variations play out: Alice, who was malnourished and never made it past 4′10″, is the physically weakest of the coven, while Emmett at 6′5″ and a mountain of muscles is the strongest. This is made very clear during the baseball game:

“Emmett was hovering close to third (base), knowing that Alice didn’t have the muscle to outstrip Rosalie’s fielding." (Midnight Sun, chapter The Game)

There’s also the fact that it’s taken for granted that Emmett would be intimidating to other vampires, and he is dismayed when James is more worried about Jasper, who is lean.

I suspect this disparity exists simply because a large frame means more tissue to have blood in. Newborns, animal, and human-eating vampires all having a difference in terms of strength is proof that blood has the final say in a vampire’s prowess, so Emmett being able to contain more of it than Alice and therefore being stronger makes sense to me.

This isn’t the meta for me to get into that, but I don’t think vampires have muscles in the sense we do. Or rather, we can’t know that they do. Renesmée is proof that Edward retains his human DNA, or she would be a clone of Bella. Nahuel is proof that Joham retains a Y-chromosome. Does this mean that vampires have different cell types? Does a vampire’s stone-like skin still contain human DNA? One would think yes - except, if you rip a vampire apart, you get rubble. The parts are all solid. There’s also Carlisle theorizing that vampires digest blood by absorbing it through porous tissue, which makes me wonder why he dismissed his digestive system (my guess: vivisection fun times with Aro in Volterra. Carlisle couldn’t have done it on his own, and Aro is the only one mad and curious enough to be down for that). I’m getting off-topic - what I’m saying is, we don’t know how vampires work, meaning I can’t build this meta off of the assumption that they have muscles. I simply can’t know for sure that they do.

The important thing is that a vampire’s physique is a deciding factor in how strong they are.

There’s also Laurent’s warning about James, that he has “unparalleled senses”, meaning some vampires are better at sight, hearing, and smell than others. I can believe that, because we have canon examples of vampires being bad at tracking.

There’s Edward in Port Angeles, who couldn’t track Bella’s, his singer, scent to her location, and (I admit this one is conjecture but it’s so probable that I say it goes) Carlisle’s creator, who after taking care of the mob must have realized he’d bitten one of the humans, meaning a newborn would soon be loose in London. This is punishable by death by the Volturi. The fact that he didn’t return to finish Carlisle off means that he was unable to find him. I remind the audience that Carlisle was bleeding and suffering the effects by a venom intended to paralyze the victim. To put it this way, Carlisle wouldn’t have survived James, or anybody with a trace of tracking competence. By comparison, Carlisle was able to locate a dying Rosalie by the smell of her blood, even though there wouldn’t have been a trail for him to follow, as her body had not been moved.

When it comes to these disparities in strength and speed among the Volturi, I imagine Jane and Alec are the physically weakest members of the guard, and among the slowest. They’re prepubescent, meaning no muscle for them, and their height (a humble 4′8″ and 4′10″) implies very short legs. They’re simply not going to get as far as an adult would, not in the same number of steps. Renata at 5′0″ is another tiny vampire lady who likely isn’t very strong or fast.

That’s not to say I think these physically weaker members of the Volturi guard are necessarily useless in hand-to-hand combat, Alec at least is a boy stuck in a playful age, and the males around him are trained warriors. He’s probably picked up a few things over the years.

As for the others, Aro is described as frail-looking, which hints at him being quite thin. I don’t think he’s weak, if he couldn’t win a fight he wouldn’t be around, but I do think he’s probably below average in terms of strength. Caius I picture as a Harrison Ford type, so of course I’m gonna think he’s a bit burly, but this is me headcanoning and not actually hinted at in canon. Marcus is 19, so I imagine he can only be so strong.

Back to Edward’s speed.

He’s a 6′2″ teen, that’s code for “very long legs”, though I’m actually going to go ahead and posit that he’s not actually that fast. Strap in for this next part:

The guy was a teenager who lay dying for an undisclosed amount of time. The fact that Carlisle had the time to get to know his mother points to a few weeks, at least. And Edward was very ill:

Elizabeth worried obsessively over her son. She hurt her own chances of survival trying to nurse him from her sickbed. I expected that he would go first, he was so much worse off than she was. (New Moon, page 21)

Muscles atrophy quickly, never more so than when you’re a teen ravaged by fever, on your deathbed. And as I’ve explained above, I think your physique in life ties directly into your vampiric prowess.

I think Edward is certainly the physically weakest of the male Cullens, quite likely weaker than Rosalie as well, maybe even Esme.

Now, speed is not the same as strength. However, for humans, the two are connected. It’s the muscle fibers in our legs that determine our speed. Basically, type I fibers make an enduring runner, type II fibers make a speed runner. So, assuming that vampires retain their human musculature, one could argue that Edward had a lot of type II in life. However, Carlisle when he was human was able to outrun the mob he was with:

He ran through the streets, and Carlisle — he was twenty-three and very fast — was in the lead of the pursuit. (Twilight, page 158)

Carlisle clearly had a lot of type II fibers, and unlike Edward he was in peak physical condition when he died. He was also an adult who’d had more time to develop musculature, while Edward was a seventeen-year-old. If musculature was a deciding factor, one would think they would at the very least be of equal speed, though realistically Edward should be slower.

So, if it’s not muscles, what is it that makes Edward faster than the others?

It could be a matter of technique. Except, the way Bella describes movement when she wakes up as a vampire, it’s all very automated. Her body knows exactly how to do everything, and executes it without much input from her:

After that first frozen second of shock, my body responded to the unfamiliar touch in a way that shocked me even more.

Air hissed up my throat, spitting through my clenched teeth with a low, menacing sound like a swarm of bees. Before the sound was out, my muscles bunched and arched, twisting away from the unknown. I flipped off my back in a spin so fast it should have turned the room into an incomprehensible blur—but it did not. I saw every dust mote, every splinter in the wood-paneled walls, every loose thread in microscopic detail as my eyes whirled past them.

So by the time I found myself crouched against the wall defensively—about a sixteenth of a second later—I already understood what had startled me, and that I had overreacted. (Breaking Dawn, page 251-252)

Growling, crouching - those are all distinctly vampiric, non-human ways to act. Bella didn’t learn this, her body knew it of its own accord. When she later runs, she explains it as happening the same way - she just does it.

The way Bella experiences it, vampiric movement is like a package she downloaded, and that executes her instinctual commands with no need for her to actually know how to do any of this. Her grace is another example of this - Bella Swan may be in charge of her own consciousness, but the venom is entirely in control of her body.

Given these facts, I don’t think it’s technique that makes Edward a better runner than others. His technique is likely similar to everyone else’s. If it isn’t, if technique is what makes the difference, then who is and isn’t fast is an arbitrary process.

With that, we get to my controversial theory about why Edward is the fastest Cullen: he’s not.

Running and being fast is the only thing about vampirism that Edward enjoys. This is for another meta, but Edward is extremely depressed about every single other bit of it. Every aspect of being a vampire torments him.

Except the running. He enjoys all of it, especially being the fastest, so much. And as a newborn, he would have been faster than Carlisle.

But after that, when his newborn strength faded…

I honestly think that Carlisle decided to just slow down a bit when running with him, let Edward have this. It’s no skin of his back, and it makes Edward happy, so why not.

Esme joins the family, and of course she would be down for this. Nothing is more parental, more maternal, than losing at checkers to make your child happy, after all. Could also be she’s not very fast herself, but even if she were then she would downplay it to make Edward feel like Jesse Owens.

Enter Rosalie, who would think it’s completely ridiculous, yes, but she would also recognize this excellent opportunity to call in a big favor from Carlisle later on. There’s also the fact that I think Carlisle has a gift (yes, yes, meta is coming, people) that makes him very persuasive people. And also that for all that Rose gets a lot of bad rep, she is very generous and loves her family, if being fast makes Edward happy then alright.

Emmett is an easy-going guy, he goes along with things. Alice adores Edward and would go along with it. She also has tiny matchstick legs and couldn’t outrun him if she tried. Jasper could not care less.

Bella does get outrun by Edward after waking up, but she also did zero exercise in life (listing this in case musculature matter), had Renesmée devour her from within rendering her emaciated, and then died like a slasher movie murder victim. There’s not a lot of blood in her, and what little blood there is doesn’t have a lot to work with. She does defeat Emmett at arm wrestling, so I’ll concede that. However, there are enough extenuating circumstances surrounding Bella that I think my “Edward isn’t that fast” theory survives his ability to outrun her.

So, I believe Edward is the fast Cullen because Carlisle told a white lie in 1919, no one ever corrected that, and now it’s too late.

[panlight]

You've said before how Esme and Emmett could be removed from the story fairly easily and not affect the plot. How would you write them to actually have a purpose? How would you make them more than "Carlisle's and Rosalie's spouses"? In what ways could they impact the plot/story beyond being "Team Bella"?

Just having them spend actual time with Bella and develop a relationship that is more show than tell would help a lot. Like Esme is always saying stuff like "you're part of the family" and Emmett says stuff like "everything's more fun when you're around" but everything is so E/B (or Jacob) focused that we're just supposed to take it as gospel that Bella loves and cares for these other characters despite seeing like . . . no development with them. Even MS doesn't quite fix this, although it tries with Emmett, it's still in a "He instantly decided to love and protect this human based on like two seconds of interaction" way. That's nice of him, but it doesn't feel organic, it doesn't feel like he got to know Bella as a person. Especially since this happens literally after the baseball game on literally the first day he's met her.

The cut "Emmett and the bear" except would have helped here. They are actually spending time together and talking. It feels much more natural. Emmett as a parallel to Bella makes him more relevant, as a human chosen by a vampire. But Esme's experience is even more relevant (teenage girl meets a vampire, fancies herself irrevocably in love) and it's . . . never mentioned in canon at all.

With Esme the answer seems to be make Renee's crappy parenting more explicit and thus Esme as the surrogate mom more literal. As I've said before, I didn't think Renee came off that badly in Twilight (by Eclipse I was starting to side-eye her when she skipped the graduation, but that felt like an Author decision with SM going like "crap I already had Bella go to Florida and do the Renee thing, I don't have anything else to do with her" and made up an excuse for her NOT to come more than anything character-driven by Renee, who DID instantly come to Phoenix when Bella was injured in Twilight and DID come in New Moon when Bella was depressed). But in Life & Death and Midnight Sun it seems SM is fully all-in on the No, Renee Legitimately Sucks thing. Originally I just read it as "extroverted type B mom not the type of mom introverted type A daughter would prefer" vs "actual nightmare neglectful narcissist."

So if we make Bella someone who actively LONGED for a mother-figure, who was not only missing that in her life but WANTING it, Esme might have been more relevant. But because SM tried to make Bella SO MATURE and SO ADULT by calling her parents be their first names I never quite bought into this idea that she 'needed' Esme or would cling to her as a mother. Also just like, Breaking Dawn. All of Breaking Dawn. Why was the baby thing only centered on Rosalie?? Esme's backstory is just as much about that! Esme had actually been pregnant! Actually had a baby! Hell, Esme ran away to protect her unborn baby from its father--there are parallels there with Bella recruiting Rosalie as a bodyguard. And we get . . . absolutely nothing. Zip. Nada. Esme just flits about and looks worried and that's about it. The movie at least tried to make her more of a presence and a force, at the insistence of Elizabeth Reaser. Esme could have been a much bigger player in BD.

One easy thing to make these characters feel more relevant that would take like zero effort on SM's part is have some of the BD witnesses be Emmett's friends or Esme's friends rather than them literally all being Carlisle's. You're telling me affable dudebro Emmett doesn't have some dudebro and himbo vampire friends? Get out of here. Give me a vampire frat pack who play blood pong. Maybe there's another Sasha Denali type vampire mother out there whom Esme made friends with and appeals to her for help.

The other thing is that maybe it would have been nice if one single plot point wasn't about Bella or her kid? If some vampire who had beef with Emmett or something showed up and was causing trouble and Vampire Bella protected everyone from THAT, when it wasn't about her, that seems more impressive and heroic to me? And better payback for all the times Cullens protected her. And it would make Emmett (or whoever) a more integral part of the story, and we could learn more about him as we get the backstory on whatever happened between this vampire he pissed off and him. Or like Maria showing up. Or someone from Esme's past. Or literally anything. Bella can be the main character without every. single. plot. point. revolving around her. The closest we get to this is the James/Alice thing, but that doesn't really go anywhere in the end. And even Victoria's revenge is weirdly about Bella, "A mate for a mate." Cool, but Edward didn't kill James!! Emmett and Jasper did! So why does she want to inflict pain on EDWARD? Clearly because they're the main characters (and a human is an easier target than Rosalie or Alice I guess, haha).

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

What if Bella had met the Volturi's as a child? What would it change and what ties do you think it would have?

It’d change a fair amount, as in, the entire plot of Twilight would have been derailed. Or, that is, it might change nothing at all.

So, we have three options here. 

Nothing Changes

Bella is an extraordinarily delicious child visiting Italy and the small medieval town of Volterra.

If Bella doesn’t happen to be on the tour, probably whoever’s looking at her sighs, looks longingly at her delicious blood, and then walks away. The Volturi do not lose control in their own city.

Bella goes on her merry way and Twilight presumably happens. Except maybe Bella goes to Alice, “Oh yeah, Volterra, I went there once. Nifty place, nice buildings.” Alice stares.

Bella’s Eaten

Bella’s an extraordinarily delicious child whose mother thinks it’s a great idea to sign them up for the tour of Volterra castle. It’s a very exclusive tour you know! Bella’s eaten almost immediately, she’s probably fought over, Jane gets one limb and Alec gets another.

Years later, Edward arrives in Forks, his personal purgatory where he listens to the banal thoughts of teenagers. Bella Swan does not arrive. Edward continues to be miserable and depressed.

The Cullens have a game of baseball with James, Laurent, and Victoria. Unfortunately, James recognizes Alice, and is intrigued enough to come after her. Unfortunately, Alice is a vampire and not a human with human relatives to hold hostage. The Cullens murder him, Laurent flees to have sex with the sexy Denali ladies, and Victoria swears vengeance upon Jasper.

Unfortunately, her gift tells her that any attempt to murder Jasper will end up with her dead. Jasper doesn’t give her the time needed to plan. He hunts her down and murders her in cold blood.

Carlisle has the world’s worst weekend. 

Edward is still depressed and concludes this is why vampires are abominations without souls. Irina gets to keep her boyfriend, he cheats on the diet and leaves within the year. Irina drowns herself in rebound sex with pretty mortals to try and feel better abou tbeing dumped. It doesn’t work.

Aro Discovers Bella

And this is probably the route you were thinking of.

Perhaps Aro’s taking a midnight stroll with Renata, perhaps he catches Bella on the tour, but somehow he manages to meet her and happens to brush her hand. Suddenly, eating Bella is off the table forever.

Bella’s gift isn’t game changing in the way Alec and Jane’s were, necessarily, but it is something Aro does not want falling into enemy hands and something he may one day need.

He’d probably do something similar to what he intended to do with Alec and Jane. He’d leave her to live her mortal life, keep close tabs on her, and turn her when she’s a young adult (probably around twenty).

Which means Bella returns to America, probably tailed by Demetri, and has no awareness that she is at some poing going to become an immortral blood drinking creature and move to Italy to become a member of an ancient vampire sect.

Bella moves to Forks, she has a run in with Edward Cullen who very nearly eats her, Demetri calls Aro to say “we have a problem”. At first, Aro isn’t too concerned, he’s delighted to hear that Carlisle’s alive and well and my god he has a coven now. Given Edward is Carlisle’s progeny, Aro is probably sure Edward will leave the city completely to avoid temptation and the others will quickly move on.

Edward’s back within the week. He attends school. He sits within a foot of Bella Swan in Biology class.

Demetri at this point probably summons Bella out of school in the middle of Biology with no warning, gets her the hell away from Edward, and has to come up with the world’s most ridiculous lie of why she should never enter within 20 feet of Edward Cullen ever again.

Demetri is a federal agent and Edward is under suspicion of being a sexual predator and serial murderer. Here are all the women who have disappeared in various towns the Cullen family have lived in.

Bella is of course horrified and shocked, but given Edward’s reaction in that first Biology class and his weirdness in the second one... 

Aro calls Carlisle. It’s a very awkward talk. Carlisle apologizes for not writing in forever he got... distracted. Aro says it’s fine, no big, CARLISLE MISSED WATCHING THE MOON LANDING WITH HIM. But regardless, Aro is calling to ask him what the fuck.

Aro tells him about Bella, Carlisle is very uncomfortable with this girl having no choice but to become a vampire and no idea what’s going to happen to her, but there’s no talking Aro out of it. He’s even more uncomfortable that he has been begging Edward to skip town but, for some unknown reason that is perhaps pride, Edward is refusing. 

“All these worlds are yours,” Aro undoubtedly says, “Except Europa, attempt no landing there.”

In other words, hands off Isabella Swan.

Carlisle tells Edward. Edward is appalled and conflicted. At this point, he’s unwillingly fascinated by Bella but has not yet decided he’s in love. He doesn’t quite have her Carlisle persona crafted yet  and so she’s not the saintly figure deserving of worship. Right now she’s just this plain, boring, girl who dared to smell delicious.

So, a part of him thinks it serves her right. Now she will suffer for all eternity as he does. More, he can save face, the monster inside him can go back to sleep for her days are number and he can pretend he’s the wonderful person everyone thinks he is. Everything will remain as exactly as it is. EDWARD IS FINE, THIS IS FINE.

Another part of him panics. First, this girl is condemned to the worst future imaginable. Not only is she becoming a demon, but a blood drinking demon at Blood Drinking Demon HQ. More, if she becomes a vampire, no blood for Edward. And remember, this is a scent he would scour the world for. Edward salivates over the thought of her blood, obsesses over it constantly, and fantasizes over how he will devour her. Suddenly, Edward may not be able to eat her. In canon, the option of eating her is always on the table, and some part of Edward is always thinking about it, always leaving it open. Here, it’s soon to be gone.

Edward probably sneaks into her room at night to watch over her sleep. Telling himself he’s protecting her from meteors but also realizing that he’s there to test his own will power and ponder over the future in which he quietly eats her in the middle of the night. 

Now, this can go two ways

Bella wakes up, and that guy Demetri said is a sexual predator targeting her is IN HER BEDROOM LOOKING SCARY AS FUCK. Bella undoubtedly screams bloody murder and tries to hit Edward with something.

Edward panics at the noise and eats her. Then when Charlie comes running he eats Charlie Swan too. The house is an utter blood bath, Edward stands there in a daze knowing the monster inside him has won. He no longer looks anything like Carlisle Cullen (this is a thing Edward does).

Probably though, Demetri is there. Which means Edward has heard his thoughts from the beginning. While Edward has the overconfidence of Gilderoy Lockhart, and tells Bella things like the laws of physics not applying to his driving or that he could beat Jasper in a fight with both hands tied behind his back, usually when push comes to shove he knows where he stands. (He tries to fight Jane in Volterra, it doesn’t go well, and he acts very meek at being confronted by Jane, Felix, etc. When he fights Victoria, he doesn’t fight at all, but just blathers nonsense and it somehow works out for him.)

So, while Edward will tell Jasper later that he totally could have taken Demetri, he’s not going to try. 

So, instead, Demetri goes, “Hey buddy, looking for a midnight snack?” and Edward shuffles and petulantly asks, “Aren’t you looking for a midnight snack?!” Edward’s here to protect Bella, you see. Demetri just nods, of course, Edward’s here to protect Bella.

They stare at each other.

Neither leaves.

Eventually, Edward slinks away, feeling very disgusted with himself, angry and Demetri, and internally raging that he didn’t get to eat Bella.

Demetri calls Aro and notes that they’ve got to turn the girl. Demetri cannot watch her 24/7 and this boy is 100% going to eat her. Aro hops on a plane in record time, bringing Renata, and makes an awkward visit to both Carlisle and Bella.

Aro tells Bella the truth about Edward which is... a little different but also pretty scary, the truth about what’s going to happen to her and why it’s important, and anything else she wants to know.

I imagine Bella quietly and stoically accepts her fate. 

Edward doesn’t get to eat Bella Swan. He feels very conflicted about it and is filled with self-loathing that he’s conflicted about it. I imagine the Madonna complex he holds for Bella blossoms at this point, and he later comes to Italy with the intent to free her from the Volturi clutches.

This doesn’t work out. 

Knowing Edward, his attempts increase in desperation until, finally, he does something very illegal in an attempt to free her and make up for damning her to this life.

The Volturi are forced to execute Edward.

Carlisle gets yet another awkward, terrible, phone call from Aro.

[headinthestaticsky]

The Phenomenon of the Immortal Sun: Jasper Hale x Fleur Swan, Chapter 6

None of the characters in Twilight belong to me, all rights go to Stephenie Meyer!

Authors note: I have no idea if I used these song lyrics in a previous chapter in Eclipse... I have a garbage memory.

"Stars did fall. Thunder rolled. Bugs crawled back, In their holes. The couple screamed, but it was far too late. Her jealous heart did retaliate."

Ten Cent Pistol by, The Black Keys.

Jasper, Emmett, and Rosalie looked like they wanted to kill someone. Alice, Dean, Esme, and Bree all looked confused and hurt.

Rosalie inhaled deeply.

"We need to do something about those two..." Rosalie said.

"They're way out of line... Edward especially... human or not I would kill anyone who comes near Fleur." Jasper added, fury was still in his voice.

"What can you guys do he's your brother. Besides after Bella turns they were going to go live in that cabin you guys renovated for them."

"We'll need to do something, you don't need any of this right now... I'm disappointed in him." Esme said sadly.

Before I could say anything else I could hear Bella scream.

"She must've just gotten bitten." I murmured.

"Hey you're probably thirsty, your eyes are starting to turn black, let me get you something," Esme suggested.

"That'd be great thanks... Jazz, could you hand me my phone?"

"Sure, what for darlin?" Jasper said sitting next to me.

"I need to call Sam and Leah... they need to know about this too. If we keep it from them, they could consider it a threat."

Carlisle's office door swung open, Edward ran toward the front door and slammed it. Carlisle came out with an annoyed look on his face.

"He's going to be the second death of me I swear he is."

"Well Seth already knows, maybe he told Leah." Bree suggested.

"Maybe he did but it won't hurt to check." I replied. I dialed Leah's number first thinking she might be a little more understanding.

"Fleur?" I heard her ask on the other line.

"Hey, Leah... has Seth told you anything lately?" My voice trembled slightly. I heard Leah sigh before letting out a laugh.

"Yeah, Seth told me you were pregnant calm down." I heard her reply.

"Oh, so Sam knows too?"

"Yeah but he's a bit skeptical... you know how he is." Leah mumbled.

"Yeah... but what about Bella... he does know that today is her changing day, the transformation is already happening."

"The last thing he told Seth about her is that she's not our concern anymore... it's her choice to change, we can't stop it." Leah explained.

"Listen I gotta go, I'll see you soon."

"See you later." She hung up a few seconds later. I rested my head on Jasper's should and sighed in relief.

"Here Fleur, maybe this we'll make you feel a bit better," Esme said, handing me a glass.

I grasped the cup and chugged it, it was gone a few seconds later. I didn't feel much better.

"Your eyes are still black...each bag should have the exact amount of blood you need for the next few days... How about you have some more?

I gulped down another bag, it still wasn't enough.

"This isn't good." Carlisle explained, he looked puzzled.

"Ehh...why isn't that good?" I inquired

"Well, if you can never be satisfied with the amount of blood your drinking you will eventually begin to starve. You will lose your strength, and could possibly have moments of insanity." Carlisle explained.

"I can handle this... it'll be worth it for him. Besides like you said before it most likely won't be a full 9 months."

"We'll all be by your side darlin." Jasper reassured, kissing my cheek.

"I'll monitor you whenever I can, it seems they're already growing quickly." Carlisle said, gesturing down to my bump.

Over the next few weeks, my baby grew more and more, but I was beginning to get weaker. No matter how much blood I drank, nothing seemed to sedate me. The rest of the Cullens were on edge with Edward and Bella, and since Bella was finally a vampire, they couldn't trust them at all. They weren't around much but when they were Rosalie and Jasper seemingly stood guard for me. I was zoned out, laying in an armchair since I was beginning to get sick of sitting on the same couch when Esme interrupted my concentration.

"Fleur, Leah and Seth are here." She called out.

I sat up and smiled, gesturing for her to bring them in. Leah and Seth walked in carrying some wrapped boxes with them.

Esme walked in with them before giving a quick goodbye as she wanted to help Carlisle and Rosalie with collecting food for me.

"You two did not have to get me anything." I said.

"Look aunt Leah has to get my nephew something." She said a smile was on her face.

I opened the box, a stuffed wolf plushie was inside, a dreamcatcher was underneath the plushie.

"These gifts are great thank you!"

"No problem, I thought they would be nice."

"You are the only one who thinks it's a boy, everyone else thinks it's a girl."

"I trust your instincts." Leah shrugged before pulling up a chair and sitting next to me.

"So how are you Fleur?" Seth asked, he shuffled around in his place, his eyes were scanning for someone else.

"It's getting rougher now since he's growing so big but, I know it'll all be worth it in the end."

"Your eyes look really dark, aren't they suppose to be red?" Leah inquired.

"We're beginning to think he's half-vampire half-human, he has a heartbeat it's just slightly faster than usual humans. He's definitely drinking the blood I get."

"I heard what happens to vampires when they don't feed...it gets rough." Leah said rubbing my back comfortingly.

"I have my moments but, they haven't been too bad."

"Where's the rest of the Cullens?" Seth inquired.

"Hunting, Edward, and Bella don't show up much... they don't want me to have my baby. But the rest of the Cullen's are really supportive and Jasper is ecstatic about it." I rubbed my bump unconsciously.

"But how do you eat?" Leah asked, her eyebrows were furrowed.

"Carlisle and Rose get these bags of animal blood for me." I saw Leah sigh and Lean back against her seat.

"These vampires aren't so bad after all...I'm glad Seth found Bree... she seems nice." Leah smiled.

"Oh she really is, she didn't know what she was doing when she was turned... I'm glad we're able to help her."

"So... when do you think you'll give birth?"

"Carlisle said I could give birth in a week or two... It's nerve-wracking, it's so unpredictable."

"Hey, you'll be fine... I'll stay here for a bit if you need." Leah offered.

"That would be nice but, I don't want to put you through any trouble."

"It wouldn't be any trouble besides If Edward or Bella tries something... they're going to have to deal with me too."

I laughed but before I could say anything I could sense Edward and Bella coming in, but the others were still farther away.

"Great... now we got werewolves constantly coming in." Bella complained.

Seth and Leah looked up shocked.

"Bella... did you forget you were in a toxic, manipulative love triangle for a solid year with a werewolf... for a solid fucking year." I snapped back.

"Jacob doesn't talk to me anymore!" Bella roared.

"Good for him, he needs to move on." I said, Leah nodded in agreement.

"You always have to stick your opinion in don't you?" Bella said.

"Uhh... you walked in for 5 seconds are were already trying to start shit with me." I snapped, the rage in my body burned.

"Hey, don't you snap at my wife." Edward snarled, he started walking up to me slowly.

"Back off Edward." Leah warned, she seemed to feel how pissed off I was.

"Can it mutt."

"Edward... I've been starving for almost a month... don't try me."

"What can you do? You're frail, weak, impaired." Edward pushed, walking up in front of me.

"What in the fuck are you two still doing here? I mean... honestly, you both got what you wanted, Edward you got a mate, and Bella, you became immortal. If you can't stand the decisions we're all making then why don't you just leave?"

"Because we're protected, we're the feared Olympic coven... Who wouldn't want to stay here." Edward explained, he rolled his eyes as if it were obvious.

"Oh I see... you're using them, you're too unskilled to protect yourselves so why wouldn't you want to let everyone else do the work?" I said in fake shock, Leah and Seth began to chuckle.

"I'm not unskilled enough to protect myself from you." Bella smirked, joining Edward in front of me.

"...You two fucking try something I dare you because the way I've been feeling all month I fucking dare someone to mess with me. I growled standing up on my own, it was strange... it was like a new strength filled my body.

Leah came up in front of me and put an arm between us three.

"Just drop it you three... this isn't going to end well." Leah warned.

Edward smirked and then grabbed me, I quickly flipped him around and as I warned before kicked him through the glass wall.

I heard shuffling and turned around to see Leah holding Bella down with Seth helping her out. I turned back around to the window, I saw Edward lying on the ground with Dean, Alice, Esme, and Emmett looking up at me in shock. I saw Carlisle approach Edward, a deadly look was on his face.

"Damn short stack!" I heard three sets of feet running inside Jasper, Rosalie, and Bree came into the lounge room. Bree went to go help Seth and Leah with Bella.

"Darlin are you okay?" Jasper called toward me worryingly. I couldn't say anything however as that newfound strength had dissipated, and I clutched my head. Rosalie and Jasper rushed to me.

"That's it I can't stand those two anymore they have to get out of here!" Rosalie exclaimed, Jasper just nodded in agreement.

When I was sat back down in the armchair I decided to explain what happened. The rest of the Cullens came back in, Edward couldn't look me in the eyes now.

"So sweety, what happened?" Esme inquired.

"I was just sitting with Leah and Seth when Bella started complaining that Leah and Seth were here."

Bella tried to say something but Rosalie gave her a glare.

"I snapped at her I'll admit but... then Edward started coming up to me threateningly... but he then he said that he was just living with you guys because he was being protected... and long story short Edward grabbed me and I kicked him through the glass wall." I finished. I had never seen Carlisle or Esme so mad before.

"Is that true?" Carlisle inquired.

"But..."

"HE SAID IS IT TRUE!" Esme interrupted.

Edward bit down a growl before answering.

"Yes."

"You two can't come around here anymore...nor do you two belong to this coven." Carlisle demanded.

Bella gasped.

"What a second we can work something out..." She started.

"Look I'm not going to spend decades of you three fighting all the time... and personally, I'm personal want to keep the one I like." Rosalie sniped.

"Leave at once," Carlisle said.

Edward and Bella stormed out of the house and ran off. A thick silence overtook the air.

"Uh...sorry about the wall." Jasper shushed me before pulling me in for a kiss.

"You two okay?" He asked, rubbing my stomach.

"Oh yeah he's having a blast...you should've felt him, he was kicking up a storm. He's a fighter I can tell." I said smiling. Jasper curled up to me and rested his head on mine. I saw the Cullens as well as Leah and Seth glance at each other, leaving the room.

"You know, I can feel what emotions they feel," Jasper stated.

"Really? How is he feeling now?"

"They loves the sound of your voice, I can tell. They get so happy when they hear it."

I smiled fondly on my bump before rubbing it softly.

"I'm glad you love it, we both love you that's for sure..."

[effervescentslut]

how you meet | edward cullen

A/N: wowowow after being on Tumblr for 6+ years I would have NEVER imagined my first published writing to this site being Twilight dnvjdfjaskdlmfkl enjoy!! requests are open :)) I will write for Twilight (mainly the Olympic Coven, except Jasper romantically), Star Wars, and Harry Potter

Pairing: Edward Cullen x Fem!Reader

Category: Fluff

Content Warnings: Reader gets unsolicited attention from teenage boys, swear words

when you moved to forks after spring break because of your dad’s work, you’re unanimously nicknamed new girl™ by all of forks high school’s students

and consequently, you’re the new eye candy for your male peers

Forks boys are, well . . . neanderthals douchebags

the ones you’ve met are egotistical, super immature, and super HORNY

. . . you decide to keep your distance

aNyWaYs

you get smooshed into ap u.s. history

apush, baby, apush HAAAAA

the teacher points you to an empty seat next to some pale blonde dude

he gives off weird kid energy at first but then he politely speaks to you

“i’m jasper. welcome to forks” and gives you an acknowledging nod

his eyes are topaz!!!?? woooooooah that’s so cool is that like a genetic defect or smth??

aaaaand your teacher immediately assigns a PROJECT

a fuckin civil war project

you swear you see jasper’s pupils dilate

you hear a chuckle from behind you

and when you turn around you see a pale dude w a dark brown buzzcut and some blonde girl smirking beside him

you later find out that those are his siblings

his fuckin goofy ass siblings

anyways a few weeks pass

you pop in at your dad’s job @ forks hospital and see him chatting w a fellow physician

yet another pale dude with blonde hair 

JESUS HOW FUCKING MANY ARE THERE

you approach them and your dad embraces you in a hug

“heeeeyyyy sweet pea! how’s it goin’!” 

the doctor he was talking to looks at you fondly

“hello, i’m carlisle cullen” and offers you his hand to shake, which you do

“y/n, carlisle was just inviting us to his house later tonight for some dinner”

dr. hotpants puts his hands in his pockets and humbly grins

“my son jasper tells me you’re his classmate”

oh god he’s one of those pta dads, isn’t he??

“oh, yeah, he’s my partner in history”

he smiles, “that’s wonderful. my wife esme and i would love to have you both over as our guests. it’s not often we have company for dinner. and i’m sure the rest of my children would love to meet you, y/n”

jesus christ how many kids does this guy have?? he looks THIRTY

don’t worry, in the car your dad tells you they’re all adopted lmfao

✰✰later that night✰✰

their house is HUGE jesus fuckin christ

alice knows (well they all know) about you because of jasper

IMMEDIATELY loves you!!

“hi! i’m alice!!!”

WHOLESOME AS FUCK UGH

i’m EVAPORATING. i’m YODELLING. it’s fine :-)

you thought you weren’t gonna make any pals in forks bc of the weird horny teenage specimens but here we are ;-;

alice envelopes you into a tight hug and you, in shock, grasp her arms to acknowledge this affection

your dad’s chillin near carlisle and esme and he’s silently chuckling

oh . . . they all have black eyes now?? must be the weather

or the fluorescence

you wave at jasper, rosalie, and emmett

you notice the last sibling

he’s very handsome

to you, everything about him was attractive

his soft hair contrasted against his hardened facial features

you could tell he was socially reserved when it comes to new acquaintances, just like you

he physically isolates himself from his family once you and your dad arrived

he was standing alone near a corner away from everyone else

you make eye contact with him and his mental barrier breaks down

he loses his cool

his face contorts

his lips twist into puckered lines

he claps his hand over his mouth and vacates the room immediately, running up the stairs

everyone notices his sudden departure

his family is shocked but tbh not really

✰✰✰ eddy boy is a lil shy around girls sometimes ✰✰✰

carlisle breaks the impending doom of silence

“i apologize for edward leaving us so abruptly. he hasn’t been feeling well as of late; please excuse his absence. . .”

you awkwardly pretend like that never happened

you feel it in your gut that your presence disturbed him

and not only did you disturb him

but you disturbed him so bad that he had to leave

for why?? you don’t know

you then realize that everyone else in the room knows he left bc of you

. . . anyway you all sit down at the table but you and your dad are the only ones who have plates

your dad notices this too

“hey, aren’t you guys gonna eat too?”

esme grins warmly at him

“oh, don’t worry about us. we just wanted to welcome you to town!”

uhhh, ok ma’am

alice talks to you for almost the entire time you were eating ;-; i love her

you’re also talking to jasper, cracking some apush jokes

you, jasper, emmett, and rosalie talk shit about your classmates and teacher

“why the fuck -- *carlisle glares at emmett* -- heck did mr. whatshisface give us a project RIGHT AFTER BREAK???!!”

“and he paired y/n and jasper!! they’re civil war  n e r d s!! they’re gonna get the best grade” rosalie chimes in

“not if we--”

alice  ❀politely❀  tells them to stfu

you giggle

bonding with your new pals <33

allllllright so it’s a few days later

you’re walking home from school

it’s drizzling, as always, but you know that it’s gonna rain harder if you don’t get home fast enough

and some asshole

some persistent prick from your class

keeps flirting with you

he’s talking about how he hasn’t been able to take his eyes off of you since you came to forks

he’s insisting he has your phone number, that he’s gonna take you out on dates. . .

you hate it

you’re so uncomfortable but you can’t really do anything about it

s u d d e n l y

a car pulls up beside where you and the guy are walking on the sidewalk and screeches to a stop

the window is rolled down and you see a familiar face

it’s edward cullen

with one hand on the wheel, he looks at both of you and clenches his jaw

“get in”

even though he was undeniably weird a few weeks ago, you concede

you never got to speak to him, but you knew that edward was trustworthy

you practically launch yourself into his silver volvo c30™

he shoots a stone-cold glare to the jackass on the sidewalk and drives away

honestly, it wouldn’t take much for anyone (not just a mind-reading vampire) to know how uncomfortable you are after what just happened with that guy

your body language is tense

your arms are crossed tightly

your body is pointed towards the passenger window as your knees touch the door

tears are welling up in your eyes

it would be mere seconds until you fully broke down

you’re embarrassed, to say the least

you’re embarrassed that you were put in a vulnerable situation, like a damsel in distress

and of all people, the handsome and mysterious guy--

the handsome and mysterious guy you began crushing on

--who feels seemingly indifferent towards you swept you off your feet and helped you when you needed someone

that made things even more embarrassing

and the tears started streaming down your heated cheeks

edward immediately sensed your unease (hmm wonder why, but also who wouldn’t sense it???)

he’s pissed. 

absolutely livid

that asshole had a  d e a t h w i s h

he knew you didn’t want to address your unsolicited encounter, so . . .

*awkwardly clears throat* “are you enjoying the weather?”

you choked

you did not expect him to ask that

nor did you expect him to talk at. all.

you smile through your tears and laugh

you can’t help but laugh

he’s just so awkward and cute

his half-baked plan of indirectly distracting you definitely worked

you started to excitedly talk about the rain and how much you love gloomy, cloudy days

. . . and then the elephant in the room

the inevitable first impression from a few days ago

“i’m sorry for my behavior from our first meeting. i wasn’t feeling well, and i wouldn’t have wanted for you or your father to be affected by my illness”

you’re a little skeptical at first

buuuuut you give him the benefit of the doubt and dismiss his apology

“that’s okay. it’s allergy season, anyway. i’m glad you’re feeling better”

you have no idea how bad i wanted to make a spanish flu joke right there

a small, soft smile lifts the corners of his lips “i’m edward cullen”

you look at him and return the smile

t h e  t e a s i n g  e n e r g y

“i’m y/n”

the car approaches your house after time seems to have flown by

your dad looks at you both as he walks to his car to go to work

he waves at edward

edward smiles and waves back at him as he enters the car

you gratefully thank edward for the ride, careful not to dwell on the prior circumstances

as you open the passenger door, edward grabs your wrist

!!he grabs your wrist!!

he insists on being your ride to and from school from now on

you object and exit the car

but

b u t

edward smirks, leaning towards the open door

“i’ll see you in the morning, y/n” 

your jaw drops

and then he closes the door and speeds off

you watch him drive away and your heartbeat becomes arrhythmic 

a garden of butterflies is unleashed in your stomach

blood rushes to your cheeks once more

you smile to yourself before heading inside

secretly anticipating tomorrow morning :’)

[esmeshardwoodfloors]

continuation of this post about a Twilight AU where Bella vows to destroy the Cullens instead of joining them, a little more detail...

Bella takes Edward first, right after being turned. It has to be that way - a split second choice, while her newborn strength still gives her an advantage. When he leads her out on her first hunt, she tears him apart. She feels bad about it; he had the glimmerings of a conscience, this one, and he did love her, in his way. But it must be done.

She doesn’t go back to the Cullens’ house. She cannot take all of them at once. She runs far away and calls Alice - “Something terrible has happened,” she says. “I need to you come and get me. Please. Don’t tell the others.”

Bella's ‘shield’ has always made her largely immune from Alice’s visions, as she was from Edward’s powers. She is the one thing Alice can’t see coming. Perhaps Alice imagines Bella has already made what the Cullens refer to with callous understatement as ‘a mistake’; that she has killed a human. Perhaps she thinks Bella is hiding now from Edward, and that is why neither has returned home.

Alice goes alone, as asked, ready to be all sympathy and understanding. Bella destroys her easily - without her ‘Sight’, the little vampire is not much of a fighter. Her power has always been what makes the family most dangerous; without Alice and Edward the Cullens are blind, fumbling with confusion and fear. Bella has bought herself time.

Bella waits, and watches, from afar. She doesn’t dare go back to Forks, but she calls up Jessica Stanley and tells her that she has left Edward for good, but is afraid that he’s looking for her. She asks about his family.

Jessica is sympathetic and thrilled at being trusted with such a secret. She tells Bella that the Cullens have left Forks - Alice and Jasper first, and then the rest.

Bella is pleased. She knew Jasper’s loyalty to his coven wouldn’t last long without Alice there, and doesn’t doubt he’s split off on his own to search for his mate. They have no reason to believe Bella is responsible - likely they think she has shared whatever fate has befallen Edward and Alice.

It takes her a few years to locate the Cullens again, though Carlisle’s work makes it easier. Bella just has to keep an eye on the hospitals in the more overcast parts of the country, knowing sooner or later he’ll turn up again. And he does.

Finding Doctor Cullen’s new home address is not hard. Bella goes to the door when Emmett and Rosalie are at school and Carlisle is at work. Esme is overjoyed when she sees Bella standing there, alive. She suspects nothing. Her guard is down.

Bella does what she can to kill her quickly, without pain. She reminds herself as she does so that this woman, for all that she was always kind, has a higher body count than Bella herself. Innocent humans. Perhaps they were kind people too. Perhaps they had families of their own, and wanted to live.

Still, it is hard, killing Esme. It makes Bella think of her own parents, out there somewhere, perhaps still searching for their child too. But perhaps Esme’s next ‘mistake’ would have been one of them, or someone like them. Bella hardens her long-dead heart, calls the hospital, and waits.

When Carlisle returns home and sees what she has done, he doesn’t even fight back. He might, Bella thinks later, even have sought her out and begged her to do it. But he does ask her to spare Rosalie, at least. “She’s never killed anyone,” he tells her. “She never wanted to be a monster.”

“Neither did you,” says Bella. “Do you think that makes the things you’ve done justifiable? The lives they all took after you created them? While you stood by and did nothing?”

It is the last thing Carlisle Cullen ever hears, and he has no reply.

Bella does not wait for Emmett and Rosalie - she hasn’t the strength, now that she is no longer a newborn, to take down either of them. She slips away into the night. But she does consider Carlisle’s words. She does consider Rosalie.

Rosalie, who has never tasted human blood. Rosalie who fought harder than anyone against making Bella one of them, who would never create more of their kind willingly. Rosalie who hates vampires almost as much as Bella does. Under the right circumstances, she could make a powerful ally...

[yoomiii123]

Recollections - Chapter 2

Recollections is a collection of interconnected OneShots that span Jasper's life with Alice. They are in the same continuity, but can be read as stand-alones.

You can also find this fanfiction AO3 or FF.net.

Summary: After having met Alice in a stuffy diner, Jasper finds himself following the strange vampire and the intoxicating emotions she's displaying. However, he didn't expect that this would end with a bath and him getting his hair brushed for the first time in almost a century [Alice and Jasper's first meeting - Part 2: The Apartment.]

Timeline for this Chapter: This is part 2 of my version of Alice and Jasper's first meeting. Therefore, it takes place in Philadelphia in 1948, pre-twilight.

Word Count for this Chapter: 3'012

Trigger Warnings: none

Rating: PG

-----

October 28, 1948 - Philadelphia, PA | Part 2.

‘I can’t see you running away anymore.’ I couldn’t comprehend why I believed her. Nor why I followed her to the small apartment she had rented. It was all too much, having someone tell me about a future I had never planned nor even imagined. And her overwhelming emotions weren’t helping me process all of this either. They still intoxicated me, dulled my thoughts, and made me just want to be in her presence.

“We can wait the storm out here. Things should calm down by nightfall,” she explained, picking the gloves from her hands, and putting them down on the dresser next to the door.

I kicked my dirty boots off by the entrance, not wanting to stain the expensive-looking carpet. It wasn’t a big space, a small corner kitchen, a bed, and a sitting area with two armchairs and an antique-looking couch table. A single door led into another room.

“I thought that you might want to take a shower? It’s been a while since you had the opportunity to wash.”

I looked at her in confusion. How does she know? And what the hell is a ‘shower’? She couldn’t have meant a shower of rain, as she wasn’t gesturing towards the entrance but instead the door leading to another room.

“I’m not sure I understand,” I admitted.

“Ah, silly me. I sometimes get ahead of myself. It’s not easy to live in multiple decades at once. A shower is this new thing that’s going to get really big soon. It’s basically taking a bath but standing up,” she explained. “Come on, I’ll show you.”

Without hesitation, she pulled open the door to the adjacent room. I was surprised to find a fully furnished bathroom. Alice immediately headed for the bathtub that had been pushed towards the back wall. There was a second tap attached to the wall as well, hovering multiple feet above the tub. I jumped when a jet of water suddenly started to spurt from it.

Alice laughed. It was a wonderful sound, like a dozen silver bells ringing simultaneously.

I ducked my head, embarrassed by the reaction. But this whole situation was just so strange, so unfamiliar, it made me tense. Only the endless affection that she emitted every time she looked at me, soothed my nerves slightly.

“There’s going to be so many new inventions for you to discover. But I’ll leave you to it now. If you need anything, just call out. I’ll be right outside the door.” And with these words, she disappeared and closed the door behind her.

Finally alone, I allowed myself to take a breath. She wasn’t wrong, it had been months since I last waded through a river. And one couldn’t really call that ‘washing’ either. It would probably feel nice to be clean again. Especially in her presence. But to some extent, I had gotten used to the dirt. It was like a thin suit of armour, shielding me from the outside. Hiding my battle scars from prying eyes. On the other hand, there was this huge cloud of excitement and anticipation floating just outside the bathroom door. It felt wrong to disappoint her.

Slowly, I stripped out of the layers of stolen clothing that had accumulated over the last months and stepped into the bath. The water was warm, an unexpected but very welcome surprise. I couldn’t remember when I had last had something close to a hot bath.

Standing up felt strange, so I settled down in the tub, right next to a neat line of different flasks that had been arranged on the tub’s rim. However, I couldn’t find a single bar of soap. Eying each of the containers sceptically, I eventually found one labelled ‘liquid soap’ behind multiple bottles containing something called ‘shampoo’. Bubbles accumulated as I poured some of it into my hands and rubbed them together. Whatever special new type of soap it was, at least it behaved somewhat like the product I used to know. And it did its job of removing most of the dirt from my body. Unfortunately, my hair was an entirely different story.

I had owned a comb back in my Confederate days. A going-away gift from my mother. It survived the human war but was quickly lost after my transformation. Broken by the incomparable strength of a newborn vampire. Peter had loaned me his a few years back when I still travelled with them. But by then some of the strands had already been so hopelessly tangled that I’d given up immediately. I didn’t have better luck now, standing in front of the small bathroom mirror, towel around my hips, trying to separate them with my fingers. Cutting it off would probably be the most practical avenue now. I would ask Alice for scissors later.

I had only just turned from the mirror when a loud protest suddenly resounded from the other room. “No!”

Alice entered the bathroom without warning, taking me by surprise. I instinctively snarled at the intruder, ready to jump and dismember her.

Regret flooded her tiny body and as she defensively raised her hands, I slowly relaxed. She was no danger to me, even if she wanted to. She probably couldn’t even properly reach my neck.

“I—I’m sorry,” she stammered, her eyes fixated on my bare chest. I clenched my jaw, readying myself for the alarm and disgust I was used to sensing at the sight of my scarred skin. But there was nothing but pure delight and affection from her. It was worse.

I turned away from her. There was no escaping her emotions but at least I wouldn’t have to bear the fondness in her gaze anymore.

My behaviour hurt her. I could feel the sting. “So sorry, I didn’t want to startle you. But I had a vision and… Please, do not cut your hair. Let me help, I’m sure we can fix it.”

I didn’t react to her demand. I still couldn’t understand why she cared. Her feelings were indisputable; she was in love with me. Some future version of me. But whoever that man, deserving of her love, was, it wasn’t me.

“There’s something fresh to wear for you on the washstand.”

I couldn’t stand the resignation in her voice. And despite it having been years since I last tried to soothe someone’s emotions, I carefully reached out to hers to lessen her grief. The door closed again without me knowing if it had worked.

xxxx

Despite her having pointed it out earlier, I was surprised to find fresh underwear and socks, brown trousers, and a tan shirt on the washstand. The amazement only grew, when I put them on finding that everything fit perfectly. That gift of hers truly was something.

I gathered my discarded clothes from the floor, folding them as neatly as possible without getting the new ensemble dirty. Alice immediately picked them from my hands when I returned to the other room, carelessly throwing them into the trash can next to the kitchen aisle. There was so much determination in her action that I didn’t dare to interfere. One look at her content face and I was disarmed. By such a tiny woman. This is laughable. What am I even doing here?

“I hope your shower was nice?” she asked, disappearing into the bathroom.

Unsure whether she wanted me to follow her, I buried my hands in the pockets of my new trousers. “Yes, ma’am.”

“Such a gentleman,” she purred, re-appearing in the doorway. “And the clothes fit?”

I nodded, evoking a content sigh from her.

“I’m glad my eye measurements are getting better. I’ve been training them.”

I had no idea what to reply to that. But I didn’t have to say anything at all. Alice seemed to have this all planned out already, gesturing towards one of the armchairs, a brush in hand. “May I help with your hair now?”

Pure anticipation and joy hit me as she spoke, making it impossible to refuse her. I wondered if she had already seen the outcome of this discussion, as I turned to the sitting area. Before I could even take a proper step towards it, Alice sped past me, taking a seat in one of the armchairs. The corners of my mouth twitched. How long has she waited for this to happen?

Slowly and with one eye always trained on her, I lowered myself to the floor. Alice had arranged herself in a cross-legged position, waiting with eager fingers for my head to get close enough that she could get to work. I couldn’t remember anyone ever being this eager to be so close to me.

Her face eventually disappeared behind the back of my head. But I didn’t need to see her to know how content she was with the turn of events. Still, I was careful to pull one of my legs in close enough that it would be easy to get away, should her hands wander too far around my neck.

My apprehensiveness soon dissipated. Alice’s emotions quickly had me encompassed in a cloud of joy and warmth as she gently separated the tangled strands of my hair. Pure euphoria ran through my veins, whenever her fingers accidentally brushed against my scalp or forehead. The darkness of the past decades never seemed farther away, and I felt myself closer to the blissful trance that I imagined heaven to be than should ever have been possible for a damned creature like me.

I couldn’t tell for how long we had been sitting in silence when the sunlight broke through the clouds outside, illuminating the room and reflecting in fine crystals off our skin.

Alice sighed contently. “Has anyone ever told you how beautiful your hair is in the sunlight? It’s like rich honey, almost golden.”

Her fingers gently ran through a few strands on the left side of my head. I couldn’t believe that they passed through without being stopped. She had truly been able to separate the mess. At least a few strands of it.

“My mother did,” I replied. She had always loved my hair, wishing that her daughter would have inherited her father’s blonde as well, rather than her own muddy brown.

Regret suddenly stained Alice’s perfectly positive emotional compass as she sighed again. “I can’t remember my human life.”

“Mine grows hazier by the year too,” I tried to console her. Somehow, I couldn’t stand to feel such sorrow from her.

“That’s not how I meant it. I cannot remember anything of my human life. I never could. When I woke from the transformation, I had no recollections at all. I didn’t even know my name… Until you told me.” The regret slowly disappeared, being replaced with a rejuvenating burst of affection.

I wanted to remind her that it couldn’t have been me but then spotted the corner of her drawing sticking out from the coat hanging over the backrest of the other chair. She was talking about a vision. I reached out and, as Alice let go of my hair for a moment, closed my fingers around the paper. She didn’t react to what I was doing, immediately returning to her task as soon as my head was back within her reach.

“How long have you been seeing me?” I asked, examining her rendition of a future me again, unable to believe that the scene was truly ever going to happen. And in less than a decade, she said!

“You were the first person I saw, immediately after my transformation. That was in the Spring of 1920.”

1920, I mused. She had waited 28 years to find me. “Why didn’t you come looking for me earlier?”

“I thought about it,” Alice admitted, her fingers pausing. “But every time I made up my mind, our future disappeared. I couldn’t risk that.”

My eyes returned to the drawing as she continued reminiscing. “There were a few times where I almost did…”

Her sudden anguish met me with full force. I winced and turned around, but her eyes were closed.

“I’ve seen you die so many times…,” she whispered.

Although her pain hurt me as well and I wanted nothing more than to make it go away, I couldn’t. I was too stunned by the insanity of the situation. She, a person I had only met a few hours ago, mourned the possibility of my death with such force that she easily outshined Maria in her best days. Even Peter, who I considered my closest friend, didn’t compare.

Alice opened her eyes again and smiled at me. Her torment disappeared as quickly as it had shown up. Her hands reached out and gently turned my head away from her, so she could continue her work.

It took me a few seconds longer to compose myself. But once I did, I returned to examining the drawing in my hands.

“Who are they?” I finally asked.

A new wave of her affection washed over us. Not romantic love, but the care one experienced for family. I barely remembered it from my human days.

“The Cullens,” she said. “When I first saw them, it was just Carlisle and Edward. Carlisle is the oldest one, he considers himself the father of their family.” She pointed at a fair-haired man in the middle of the picture.

I raised an eyebrow. “You mean he’s the leader of the coven?”

“They consider themselves to be more of a family than just a coven,” she explained.

I filed her remark away under inexperience. She probably hadn’t seen too many covens yet. Or she would know that our kind couldn’t live together without a strong leader. Especially not in such a large group.

“Carlisle is married to Esme, the one on his right. She joined them shortly after I first saw them. Edward’s the one next to her.”

I followed the faces she was pointing out. They all seemed happy in her rendition, smiling at the camera, arms wrapped around each other. I could have been fooled into believing that it was a family picture if I hadn’t known they were vampires.

“Rosalie was the next one Carlisle turned. That was in 1933. Beside her is her husband, Emmett. Carlisle turned him just over a decade ago, in ‘35. I haven’t gotten around to finishing him yet but there should be another drawing of him around here somewhere if you want to see it.”

“That’s not necessary,” I said. Her sketch was enough to make out that this Emmett was a bear of a man. Taller than me, if the drawing was to scale, and at least one-and-a-half times as wide.

“You are really going to like him. I’ve seen you two cooking up all sorts of shenanigans. Plus, Emmett really likes to brawl. He hasn’t won against you so far though.” Alice chuckled.

I gently shook my head and carefully re-folded the paper. This was crazy. Me, cooking up shenanigans. Fighting for fun. She must have gone insane from being alone for too long. And despite how healing her presence is for me, I shouldn’t entertain her fantasies any longer. It’s time to go.

Alice's fingers froze and when I turned to her, there was a blank expression on her face. She didn’t react to me getting up and returning her drawing either. Only when I walked over to the trashcan to look for my coat, her eyes finally blinked, and she jumped from her spot.

“You’re leaving. Why do I see you leaving?! You can’t leave!” Her voice was alarmed, and her emotions were quickly overtaken by sadness and frustration.

I tried to calm her down, but my talent betrayed me. I couldn’t get a grasp on her feelings.

“Where are you even going to go? Back to Maria?! She’ll kill you. And if she doesn’t do it herself, one of the newborns will! You’ll refuse to feed and then your hunger will mess with your brain and…” A tearless sob cut her off. “Can’t you see that I am trying to help you?”

I was frozen by her sorrow, unable to walk out the door. “No one can help me.”

“I can. Carlisle can. I’ve seen it. You just have to trust me, Jasper,” she pleaded. I had never imagined that a body as tiny as hers would have been able to emit such earth-shattering despair.

I’m hurting her, I suddenly realised. I was hurting that perfect little creature that had brought me nothing but relief from my depression since the moment I met her. “Alice…,” I started, unable to finish the sentence.

“No, you listen to me,” she said, stepping up to me. She had to bend her head back considerably to look up to me. But there was determination on her face. “I’ve waited too long to just let you go. You’re hurting. You’ve been hurting for years. But you don’t have to, Jasper. You don’t have to be that person you hate anymore. You don’t have to kill humans just to survive.”

“We’re vampires. That’s what we do,” I scoffed.

“Not all of us. Carlisle doesn’t. Esme doesn’t. Edward doesn’t. Rose and Emmett don’t. I haven’t—well, except for the occasional slip-up. I know you’ve wondered about the eyes. It’s animal blood, Jazz. Animal blood turns our eyes golden. And it has been sustaining me for the last 28 years.”

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Animal blood? That was crazy. Even crazier than her story of vampires living as a family. But she believed every word she said with her whole heart. And her eyes… I swayed and caught myself at the wall next to me. “Living off animal blood. Can such a thing really be possible?”

“It is,” Alice replied to my thoughts which I had unintentionally spoken aloud. “I can show you, if you let me.”

There it was again. The hope she had gifted me before. And this time I was one hundred percent positive that it wasn’t coming just from her.

I nodded slowly. “Show me.”