#but when they're married it still makes sense and it's freaking hilarious

[king-bumis-armpit]

Mai: *walks by looking bored*

Zuko: *sighs and looks after her*

Ty Lee: Don't worry. She likes your butt and your fancy hair. I know, I read her diary.

Zuko: *smiling* She thinks it's fancy?

[windor-truffle]

even MORE random graces playthrough nitpicky thoughts that i didn't get to last night!

whether people recognize who Richard is continues to be in flux, usually bending to whatever is plot convenient in the moment 😅 it's not bad writing though it's actually pretty realistic; some people would instantly recognize a celebrity walking around in a public place and others would not (*coughmecough*). This also is a nice touch of characterization, establishing things like Pascal's singlemindedness or which soldier NPCs are privy to what the royal family looks like

not terribly important stuff, just me musing on Richard's ties to Duke Dalen. He say's he's "distantly" related but I think duke's are supposed to be next in line for succession (though Cedric seems to surpass Dalen as an archduke). His backstory also sounds almost identical to how Aston became a lord too (tales of graces prequel where all of the lords of windor are party members who travel around with king ferdinand?? 👀), but unlike Dalen, Aston's family never married into the royal family (at least not canonically, but with fan fic we can change that 😤). Lastly I need more screenshots for evidence but unlike most characters, Richard tends to change whether he calls Duke Dalen by his full title or not, maybe because he's one of the few that outranks him.

I somehow managed to forget about the "mwa-mwa hanky-panky" skit 😂 to be fair this one is criminally easy to overlook since it triggers in the alley behind the inn. Pascal has been in the party for all of 30 minutes and she already ships it 😂

it's kinda hilarious how much extra stuff like this is hidden if you go around and explore instead of going to do the plot. like game-wise it makes sense to reward the player for exploring the world, story-wise Richard has already collapsed from exhaustion twice WHY are we making him walk all the way back to Lhant 😂 ah well he's getting his steps in

overthinking lore again but the game makes a point in saying how long it take cryas to recharge eleth naturally, and there doesn't seem to be a technology for people to do it themselves... makes me wonder how the valkines cryas end up being fully restored at the end of the game since they never explicitly show or explain it 🤔 but it does make sense story-wise for people to be freaking out when they're drained, that's a shit-ton of energy they're not expecting to get back any time soon (how long is "a really long time" game??? a human lifetime??? thousands of years??? graces explain!!!)

one of my favorite things to do in this time around is to check all the overworld checkable items with every party member- they each have different dialogue, and it can be really revealing or entertaining! for example, this world map in the Grayleside inn:

screenshots taken from my current point in the playthrough AND the L&L arc because I wanted to see if Richard's dialogue changed and not only did his change, everyone's did!!! to reflect their growth!!! wow!!! 🥰 i 💜 games with attention to detail :) it's cute to see what each person is focusing on: Asbel still cares about his hometown (but has now travelled and learned enough to find it on the map), Richard turns from his preoccupation of "how am I going to fix this mess my uncle made" to conviction of restoring peace like he'd always dreamed, and Pascal, having flown around the world in the shuttle and now can confirm it looks small from afar, is moving on to new and better ideas. 10/10 character writing, I'll have to come back here later to check out the other party member's changes between the main story and post game

[mermaidsirennikita]

ARC Review: The Duke Gets Even by Joanna Shupe

5/5. Releases 1/24/2023.

For when you're vibing with... Enemies to lovers, duke in the streets/freak in the sheets, Sagittarius-coded heroines, rough sex, and lines so romantic they'll make your heart grow three sizes.

Once upon a time, there was a romance series, and it was a great romance series (one of my favorites, easily). And in the first book, The Heiress Hunt, you got the rare legitimately compelling friends to lovers moment--but who stood between the friends (who became lovers)? The hot, perfectly coiffed, gentlemanly Duke of Lockwood (Fuckwood). Rather conspicuously during this novel, the heroine's best friend, bon vivant girl about town Nellie, was all, "You should not marry the Duke of Lockwood!!! He's the worst!!! Why? I shall not elaborate!!!"

And so, for the next book, The Lady Gets Lucky, Lockwood romanced another heroine in the hope of getting dollar princess dollars. But lo, he was cucked. Again. In the third book he didn't even try, but he still sort of got cucked, because why not? That's hilarious. But throughout the series, you get these little hints and asides that suggest that while Lockwood and Nellie hate each other, they really hate how much they want to absolutely rail the fuck out of each other.

Thus, we get The Duke Gets Even.

Truly, I don't know that I've ever been as excited about a romance release as I am about The Duke Gets Even. I was practically campaigning for an ARC of this book. And I have no regrets, even though I don't think that campaigning mattered much, because I have read this book several times since I got the ARC, and it is glorious.

There's something about a great historical romance series--wherein all the books do stand alone, but when read in sequence, you get these great tidbits of how a happy couple is doing, or who might come next. The Fifth Avenue Rebels has been great in this sense, giving us several parallel stories that all spin off of the same wild Newport house party (and building a core group of friends that I love). But undoubtedly, the couple that Joanna Shupe has been teasing the entire time is Nellie and Lockwood--a spitfire rich girl with a keen sense towards reproductive justice, and a seemingly uptight duke who needs to marry an American heiress in order to secure his estate's future. Reading previous books (which again, isn't necessary but is fun, not least of all because they're just good books) you know that Nellie has actively campaigned against this man getting with any of her friends. Now we see why. And we also get a love story that is less about his worries over her reputation, regardless of what the setup may make you think... and more about Nellie's fears of emotional intimacy and what an uncertain future with Lockwood (government name Andrew, I'll add) could hold. Trust and believe: the man is all in with her quite early in the book--while Nellie's journey really imitates a traditional historical romance hero's journey. God, Joanna Shupe's brain.

Quick Takes:

--Yes, this book is hot as fuck. Yes, he's a bit of a freak. To get it out of the way: Lockwood likes rough sex. Fortunately, Nellie also likes rough sex! He's into biting her and leaving bruises, she's into scratching him and drawing blood. There's a wonderful moment when he promises to ~stick to the outside~ because of previous exertions that lives rent free in my head. While I would say the sex in this book is very intimate and vulnerable and oftentimes emotional, I wouldn't say that it's like... "He parted my tender petals" sex. Which, like--is why Joanna Shupe, in my opinion, writes some of the best sex scenes in historical romance. Easily. The sex Nellie and Lockwood have feels authentic to who they are and their relationship.

--So much water in this book! I love a motif. Nellie and Lockwood meet in the water; swimming is an important part of life for him; they bond over her dad letting him use the indoor pool (Cornelius Young, my brother in CHRIST, setting these two up for naked pool shenanigans... He said "If my daughter's gonna have wild sex in inappropriate locations, I'd rather it be with a gentleman who adores her"). Lockwood's always like "Nellie is a beautiful winsome mermaid, I find that so annoying".

--I love that much of the emotional crux of this book does surround Nellie's love of women and her desire for a maternal figure. She does have one, but the loss of her mother is still acute, and that felt very emotionally authentic to me. Also: there is an amazing undercurrent of being the last single woman in your group of beloved female friends, and how lonely that can be, and oof--I've never read that in a historical in a manner that isn't about the woman wanting to get married, but the woman feeling isolated from her friends, and stunted somehow. Hit me real hard.

--I feel like it's important to say that this book is obviously very timely. Nellie does crusade for women's rights, and she has had an abortion in the past and has zero regrets about it. She distributes birth control to women who really fucking need it (that is: women who don't have the money to get it through illicit channels like Nellie and her friends do). It's very well done, and while I anticipated Nellie's activities putting her into conflict with Lockwood... They really don't? Not in the way you're thinking, at least.

--There is a lot of interesting "here's what a duke actually was in society by this point" shit, which I found hilarious and a great takedown of the "all powerful duke" in historical romance. In many ways, Lockwood is very alpha and take charge and everything you want from a historical romance hero. But also, the conceit of his entire plot since day one has been that he is BROKE. And he's in America! He's basically a fun little party guest! With no money! He came to the States with his title, his massive cock, and a dream.

--The dirty talk in this novel? The amount of times he'd just call her "darling" after instructing her to do a sex thing? "I'm going to cover you in bite marks, darling"???? There's such a fun back and forth in the dialogue between these characters. You definitely get filled in on the time that's passed over the previous three books, and how Nellie and Lockwood have been dealing with their shenanigans in the background of the other love stories. It leaves you with two people who aren't friends but do know each other quite well, and can't resist the urge to dig at one another.

--I love Nellie so much. Easily a top heroine for me. (Who does in fact get on top.) But I will say that Lockwood's inner monologue was just... fabulous. The amount of times this man would just be like "WELP. ONCE AGAIN THE WORLD IS HERE TO SHIT ON ME" when he wasn't just rhapsodizing over Nellie? Honestly, a relatable king.

--There is a thing in this book that did yield a moment and a love confession in which I did tear up, and I'm kind of impressed by how Shupe to chose to leave it. Like, I know how I'm interpreting shit, but--especially considering a recent discussion on romance Twitter--I found it intriguing.

This is just what I wanted it to be--a good dose of enemies to lovers, a man who's butt crazy in love, and a woman who can't deal with it. Also, the kinds of ridiculously hot sex scenes that only Joanna Shupe can deliver. God bless. I couldn't recommend it more.

Thank you to Netgalley and Avon for giving me a free copy of this book exchange for an honest review.

[wikiangela]

time for Lone star 4x01!

spoilers under the cut!

(some episode thoughts that got too long lmao)

aww I missed them so much

I agree with Paul, olives do ruin everything (like, fr, every single time there are olives I try one as if suddenly they tasted better, and every single time I wanna throw up lmao)

they're looking for wedding venues aaa I can't wait haha

not to be that bitch, but... oh my god Rob Lowe looks so good, the hair looks fantastic (like oh my god his hair 😍), and on a motorcycle?? wow, Owen has never been so hot 🥵

loving Carlos hanging out with his mama, and tbh this season all I want is to learn more about Carlos and his life outside of TK and the 126 (like, I've been wondering since at least s2 - does he have any friends outside of the 126, or Michelle in s1? like, does he hang out with his work colleagues, anyone else? what did he do before everyone moved there, aside from hanging with Michelle?? 😂 give me something 😂)

and here's Carlos!! the man I've been dying to see a whole 6 minutes since the episode started lol they could give him every single second of screen time and I'd be loving it tbh

tell TK what?? I'm so nervous lol but it can't be that bad if Andrea knows and isn't freaking out right? 😂

GRACE!!!! 😍 😍 😍 I got so excited when I saw her I heard and saw her I had to pause lmao - I missed her so much 😍

raining frogs... what the fuck is happening 😂

what in the apocalypse is this episode 😂

Carlos being married to Iris... I guess it might be an interesting storyline? not sure I like it though, and it doesn't make much sense in the context of s1, at least as far as I can remember 😂 (it kinda feels like they wanted drama for the sake of drama but weren't sure what to do with tarlos bc they can't break them up again, so they were like, fuck it, it doesn't have to make any sense) but whatever, let's look past this 😂

the frog in the throat is making me so uncomfortable I can't 😩🤢

well, I guess I'm happy that TK isn't mad or anything 😂 still, this came out of nowhere and it kinda doesn't fit to what we know - then again, we don't know much about Carlos🤷🏻‍♀️

that dude in the porta potty had some serious bad luck lmao on top of everything to land squarely in the tank of water lol

pls tell me that this season continues s3's Owen being just hilarious 😂 because I really enjoyed him last season, and I can't stop laughing at him now 😂 (also, he just looks so good? I'm sure it's the hair, something's changed idk 😂)

Carlos in that shirt with the necklace hanging out - oh my good he looks hot 🥵 that color looks so good on him fr 🥵🥵🔥

am i sensing something brewing between Tommy and Amenadiel from Lucifer? 👀😂 does that mean he's gonna stay? I kinda figured he wouldn't be a one off character when I recognized him tbh 😂

Iris looks so familiar and I'm not sure if I've seen this actress before or if she just looks similar to someone

not sure how I feel about her character yet, imma need more time to get to know her

what the fuck has Owen gotten himself into 😂 jfc that was..... lmao

so Catherine's gone? 😭 nooo, I love Amy Acker, I hoped she'd be back 😭

FBI?? now that's interesting - and where do I know this chick from??

sooooo, was that 1 tarlos scene supposed to be the "new fan favorite" like Ronen said? I'm kinda underwhelmed ngl😂

It was a great first episode, the calls really were something, and the personal drama is delicious though also confusing, I'm still not sure if I like the whole Iris storyline (not bc of tarlos, obvi, just in general it doesn't seem.... good? idk, maybe they hyped up the secret too much or smth but it's kinda meh - I've been waiting for more Carlos and his backstory since s1 so I'm kinda disappointed rn) can't wait for the wedding tho!

I hope Tommy will actually find love and happiness, and I wonder how this whole pastor thing will unfold

the most intriguing thing is probably Owen's thing right now and so far I'm not even mad 😂

well, those are my thoughts as I was watching, can't wait for the next one!

[slashingdisneypasta]

Horror Villains x Reader || Reactions

Reacting to: Reader getting slipped a love potion so whoever they see first, they fall madly in absolute and total love and adoration of. They first see Slasher. Notes: Yep, I've been watching scenes of Strange Magic. This is because of that. I definitely recommend listening to a version of 'I Cant Help Myself (Sugar Pie, Honey Bunch)' while reading XD I'm listening to the Jessica Mauboy cover! ^^

Warnings: Definitely non con elements (Not sexual though) Characters Included: Billy Loomis, Bubba Sawyer, (Mayor) Buckman, Carrie White, Chucky / Charles Lee Ray, Chop Top Sawyer, Drayton Sawyer, Freddy Krueger, Jennifer Check, (Sheriff), Hoyt, Jason Voorhees, Michael Myers, Patrick Bateman, Pennywise (OG), Stu Macher and Thomas Hewitt.

Billy Loomis:

🎶'I can't help myself'🎶

What.

What kinda - bullshit- leave me the fuck alone-

Honestly he's trying to get the hell away from you (As you tail him) while Stu's at the side texting you where they're gonna be and laughing his bloody ass off when you turn up and Billy suddenly sprints to the bathroom.

Bubba Sawyer:

🎶'Sugar pie, honey bunch You know that I love you'🎶

Oh my gosh, the moment you expression changes from one of fear and disgust, to wide eyed adoration and you start fawning over him?? He has no idea what to d o. Oh, the poor baby XDD

Like, he's just hugging his chainsaw to him as you get up close and touch his shoulders and fix his tie and follow him around and he doesn't r e a l l y mind, cuz its not like you're hurting him, but he is just confused. He's searching for Drayton. Like he'll have any answers, pft.

(Mayor) Buckman:

🎶'I can't help myself I love you and nobody else'🎶

-I'm sorry, what now? Beg your pardon, there?

As soon as he recognises that sparkly, attentive look on your eyes he's slightly baffled. I mean, he's used to being loved - his town a d o r e their mayor, - so he isn't quite as lost as Bubba is or even Billy, but- he just had your friends killed? Sweetheart are you in your right mind?

I can see him sorta, awkwardly starting to treat your a little better then your friends. What?? He'd feel just awful being terrible to someone who 'loves', him! I mean you'll still die probably, but you can stand by him until its time. Self absorbed prick

Carrie White:

🎶'In and out my life You come and you go Leaving just your picture behind And I kissed it a thousand times'🎶

(*^^*) I'm sorry (*^^*) What? (*^^*)

Oh my gosh she's a mess. What do you mean by calling her Sugar Pie? Honey bunch? Sweetheart? Cutie!?!?

She's going to run away my guy, she's going to flee. She is not used to this kind of attention (Or any at all, for that matter) and you've flustered her. She doesn't believe you're just making fun of her though (Since you're just so... adoring. She intense. So in love- this cant possibly be an act) though at least, so there's that.

Just calm. down. bitch. You're going to scare her.

Chucky / Charles Lee Ray:

🎶'When you snap your finger or wink your eye I come a-running to you I'm tied to your apron strings And there's nothing that I can do'🎶

Depends- as a human or a Good Guy?

As a human he might be a bit more reserved about the whole thing and a whole lot more confused like... is this a joke? That's a gun in my pocket, not somethin' else if that's what you're thinkin'. You gettin' off on this? What? What's the deal, here?

As a doll though it TOTALLY goes to his head. You just took this bastards ego man and shot it up with some steroids. Like yes- they even want me when I'm plastic. That's fuckin' right.

I would say, 'No way hosay, he's fleeing- he's got a hot ass wife already!! But that has never really stopped our asshole gremlin man so...

Chop Top Sawyer:

🎶'I can't help myself No, I can't help myself'🎶

'DRAYYYTONNNN, C'MERE AND MEET MAH HONEY PIE. I'M GETTIN ME HITCHED!'

*Drayton from somewhere else in the part* 'YOU'RE WHAT?!'

Yep. No getting outta this now. You're getting married to him. Enjoy.

Drayton Sawyer:

🎶''Cause sugar pie, honey bunch I'm weaker than a man should be I can't help myself'🎶

*Cough* me *cough*

I mean... *awkward cough cough's*... what?

Oh boy, Drayton is awkward. And PINK. Why're you looking at him like that? Why are you running your fingers through his hair? Why're

Like Bog in Strange Magic I think Drayton would set you aside from the rest of the victims for a while, until whatever's gotten into you has worn off at least. And begrudgingly take care of you- and try to tell you that your feelings are just whatever poison's jacked you up- and to please calm down- you wont want this old boy when your senses are back-

Gosh, he's too cute. I love him a lot.

Freddy Krueger:

🎶'I'm a fool in love, you see Wanna tell you I don't love you Tell you that we're through And I've tried Every time I see your face I get all choked up inside'🎶

Hmmmmm~ What'd you just call him?~

You're playing fire here babes-

And by that I mean he's going to push you until he finds the limit to this potion- for fun. Will you still 'love' him if he leads you off a cliff?~ If he carves his name into your back? If he forces this disgusting sludge down your throat? Will you do aaaanything for him?~ How about killing your friend over there?

Goodluck.

Jennifer Check:

🎶'When I call your name Girl, it starts a flame'🎶

Yeah, I mean of course, who doesn't, bye-

This is not shocking to her XD She's hot and amazing, she knows, alright? Shoo.

Depends- are you a dude? Cis or trans- a dudes a dude. And if you are a dude, she is going to take this admiration and use it to her advantage.

If you are not a guy, though, you'll probably get off easy, with an eyeroll as she stalks off. Maybe even a smirk.

(Sheriff) Hoyt:

🎶'Burning in my heart, tearing it all apart No matter how I try, my love I cannot hide'🎶

... Is this a trick? You fucker-

Paranoid military man kills you immediately because he thinks this is a ploy to survive and hurt his family.

Jason Voorhees:

🎶'Sugar pie, honey bunch You know that I'm waiting for you (waiting for you)'🎶

Mmmmmm... 😐 this is new territory... he really doesn't know what to do, here...

Uhh... he may lower his weapon, and tilt his head; Silently asking his mother what to do in this situation as he assesses you- you and your own tilted head, corner of your mouth tilted up as you look up (UP UP UP- ) at the 'love of your life'.

Tea? Do you want some (cold lake water and floor leaf) tea?

Michael Myers:

🎶'I can't help myself I love you and nobody else'🎶

Wh... what?

Not gonna lie- you threw him off, for sure when you got down on your knees and just gazed up at him. Even with blood all over him, even holding a shar knife, even with the corpse of your friend a few feet away.

But mostly his feelings are please go away you're freaking me the fuck out.

*The sound of your neck snapping*

Patrick Bateman:

🎶'Sugar pie, honey bunch I'd do anything you ask me to'🎶

How sad for you.

He really doesn't care, man. Just tries to go on with his life, even with you following him around everywhere and trying to get his attention, and being there at his every beck and call- he does enjoy having coffee whenever he wants it, though.

Pennywise (OG):

🎶'I can't help myself I want you and nobody else'🎶

Oh this is HILARIOUS.

Penny figures it out immediately and has a good laugh, as you giggle softly, awkwardly along with him (Which makes him laugh harder-). Ohhhh, you made his century.

You're gonna taste delicious, when he's done with you.

Stu Macher:

🎶'Sugar pie, honey bunch You know that I love you'🎶

Ahhhhh... say what now?

Billy cackles like an evil ferret behind him as you wrap your arms around Stu (The boy himself a slave to his hornier impulses but struggling as Billy's right there and also this is kinda rapey-). Good. he gets a taste of his own medicine now. He looks mortified. GOOD.

Thomas Hewitt:

🎶'I can't help myself No, I can't help myself'🎶

Thomas is a mix of Michael and Bubba- he's thinking but why, but also what do i do what do i do what do i do-

Like one one side, he's annoyed. Because you're geting in his way and he needs to help out his mamma and do what Hoyt tells him to, in order to keep his family safe.

But on the other- he's kind of enjoying this kind of attention.

God, someone just take the decision out of his hands.

[zozophoenixxx]

Serotonin Booster :D 🐉

How to train your dragon edition

Here are some things I had forgotten or little details I just noticed on my rewatch, maybe even Unpopular Opinions 🤭👀

✨Race to the Edge✨

SEASON 2

I love Stoick and Astrid's relationship 🥺

The way Hiccup just knows what's going on with Astrid 🥺

I loved Team Astrid, the episode and the actual team ✋🏼😭😂

OMG WAIT I LOVE THIS EPISODE I THINK!! Night of the Hunters pt1

"When a Nadder shoots its spines it always leaves his belly exposed"

THE WAY HICCUP JUST KNOWS SOMETHING IS WRONG 🥺

I love overprotective Hiccup

"What took you so long?"

UGHHH how I hated Heather in these episodes

I love how Barf and Belch protected Ruff from the dragon hunters 🥺

Also I seriously disliked that Lycanwing episode, it was just annoying idk why. But I did like how it showed that Ruff actually cares abt Tuff and how far she's willing to go to protect him.

Nvm now that I've fully watched this episode I've come to appreciate it a bit more bc we get to see overprotective Ruff, Toothless saving Tuffnut, Chicken talking, Fishlegs screaming like a girl, Hugh Snotlout... It has it all 😂

Fishlegs and Ruffnut being married LMAO THE FORESHADOWING

THE ARMOR-WING

JAHDHHAHAHA NOT TOOTHLESS LAUGJOAT THE TWINS JOKES OF HICCUP BEING ON HIS LAST LEG

Wait but I'm actually enjoying the Zippleback Experience episode. I remember when I only actually liked the episodes if there was Hiccstrid on them BUT LIKE WHAT WAS WRONG WITH ME?!! THIS IS PURE COMEDY I JUST LOVE THIS

NONONO JAHDHHAHAHA BUT THE WAY SNOTLOUT HIT HICCUP RIGHT IN HIS INSECURITY AND SO HICCUP PUNCHED HIM AND KNOCKED HIM OUT!! THE WAY HE SCREAMED YALL-

That scene where Barf and Belch saved Hiccup from the Hunters and they sent their distress signal is freaking badass and hilarious I love them sm

Dudeeee i was so surpriseeeeddd whenever Heather and Astrid met again AND HUGGED

"I rely on you"🥺🥺🥺

I don't like how Hiccup treated Astrid after she didn't tell the gang abt Heather

Ok but the beef between Astrid and the twins makes sense ngl. Like it makes sense for Astrid to be upset with everyone whenever they don't take shii seriously but she should still be respectful yk

Johan calling the gang for help bc he was being attacked by dragons just when the edge was being attacked was the first (that I catch) time Johan showed that he was with the Hunters

This was all in ep8 and 9 and I love how both Tuff and Astrid managed to keep the Hunters of the edge

NOT THE DRAGON FLIGHT SUIT ACTUALLY WORKING WOW THAT WAS AMAZING (EP9)

Love the way episode 9 ended but DUDEE I really wish they had talked about what happened LIKE ALL THE STRESS ASTRID AND TUFF WENT THRU AND ALL THEY GOT WAS "how'd you manage to hold them off for so long" oh shut up

Seashocker - deep water dragon that's extremely hard to spot bc they hardly ever surface, only eats deep fish

- i love the way both Hiccup and Fishlegs go into geek needy mode

Completely forgot that scauldron could be any colors other than green

"Astrid's the crown jewel, Fishlegs. When you have a shot at Loki'ing Astrid you gotta take it"

FISHLEGS IS SO BADASS OMG THE WAY HE JUST JUMPED AND RODE THE SEASHOCKER AND GOT HIMSELF ELECTROCUTED JUST TO SAVE IT

I love how both Hiccup and Toothless have saved each other numerous times before... Like it's not only Toothless saves Hiccup nope nope nope Hiccup's also saved Toothless multiple times

- i also hate it when ppl say stuff like "Hiccup's useless without Toothless" maybe not exactly like that but stuff of the sort like pls shut up :/

Pre-dating Hiccstrid moments are adorable.

Also Snotlout and Tuffnut a ting like kids just when Hiccup and Astrid are talking and then them realizing they're best friends 🥺 I LOVE THEM THEY'RE HILARIOUS

Snotlout: You are so tough and nutty

Tuffnut: and you are so loud and snotty!

*both of them start hitting each other*

Toothless: 😶😳😦🤨

UGHHH BUT I LOVE HOW HICCUP just goes up to Astrid and touches her shoulder to comfort her whenever she's feeling guilty - beginning of Maces and Talons pt2 ep13

NO AND THE WAY SHE DOES IT TOO🥺

and the way his voice breaks 🥺😭

No because Ryker and Viggo's accents are kinda hot...

"I like toast-y. Not toast-ed" JAHSHAHA SNOTLOUT

[folklauerate]

DROP SOME DEETS ON NED AND CHAR’S STORIES WITH HASTE

I want everyone to know that this is a HILARIOUS ask because Leah probably knows the absolute most about these fics lol! I just come into her DMs and talk about it and then she responds and we freak out about work that IS NOT EVEN OUT YET. A true friend <3

For those not in the know, whenever I write my fics, I always do a lot of character work and work out other backstories and things. I honestly think it's just the actor in me - and the obsessive planner in me. It's why the Cowboy Like Me text fic exists (that started out as a writing exercise and as a way for me to keep tabs on what the extended ensemble's activities were before all the plots merged) and it's why the Simon Lovers Twitter gc knows allll about the Richard and Hermione backstory that didn't make the cut in the OTWTTW text fic (maybe one day I'll do a Rimoine text fic lol). So when I was plotting out my "Miles the Rake" fic, I had to plot out his siblings marriages; one, because, well, character work, and both Ned and Char would be married before Miles, and two, because I wanted the characters to be featured heavily in Miles' stories and I wanted to have a strong sense of who they were and who their partners were. Minor spoiler that their partners are involved in Miles' love story with Arshi, so it just made sense to plot it out.

The trouble was that the more I wrote, the more I fell in love with these characters and their stories.

Without giving too much away, I'll give inquiring minds this;

Ned and Rosie are childhood best friends to lovers. They've essentially been best friends since they were born, in love since they were two, and their story is filled with such sweet, misguided, innocent mutual pining, mutual jealousy, and so much love and selflessness :,) I love these crazy kids. They get married when they're 22 because they really just can't wait. I love them, your honor! (I've already chatted about them SO MUCH on Twitter, that I won't do a writing sneak peek)

Now, Charlotte and Alex I have not chatted about on Twitter, so here's a sneak peek:

The air was hot, stiflingly so. 

Biting the inside of her cheek, Charlotte offered a group of mamas a delicate smile as she wove past them, gracefully dodging the rest of the crowd as she made her way towards the doors. The ballroom was packed - then again, any party the Viscountess Bridgerton hosted was always bound to garner a large crowd. Her mother had gained quite the reputation for themed parties, and tonight’s had ensured that Charlotte was dressed in a gown decorated with pearls and scales, her long hair in a braided crown - she was a mermaid. 

Of course, Charlotte had not been the only Bridgerton to be roped into costume; her entire family was made to dress as some sort of underwater spectacle. She could see her parents right now; her mother was gamely sporting a gown that extended into eight large tentacles that followed behind her wherever she went, clearly delighting in how dramatic her homage to the great sea witch was. Her father, to his credit, also looked pleased with his costume; he’d donned it begrudgingly, apparently having lost a bet to her mother, but once he discovered that he could actually poke people with his trident, he’d been a steadfast presence in the ballroom since then, not slinking off like he usually did during one of these events, all in favor of seeing how many times he could stab her uncle Colin on his behind. 

Still, as diverting as it usually was to stay and watch her parents tread the line between charmingly eccentric and downright insane, the ballroom had grown too hot for Charlotte. 

But not in temperature, no. 

Charlotte Bridgerton was a lady. She did not usually get flustered or bothered. But here she was, both of those things. 

[simons-calling-the-127-squad]

Missing Piece - Hendery

Credit to the original owners of the images.

GN Film Studies Major Reader X Film Studies Major/YouTuber Hendery

Half of a jewelry piece at birth

Warnings: cursing

Y/D/N = your dog's name

"We've literally been studying for ten minutes", you deadpanned.

"And?" He questioned, his eyebrows furrowing.

"You haven't even studied anything yet. You've just played with the cat."

"I need food to think. And I'll pay for us both."

"Deal", you said. Pushing the book to the side of the bed. Hendery did a little dance as you moved to put your shoes and jacket on. You couldn't help but laugh at him and walked towards him.

"Let's go!" He said as he pulled you out of the door and locked his dorm door. His arm went over your shoulder as you walked, it was a normal thing for him to do with all of his friends.

"So have started writing your script yet?" You asked, assuming that he hadn't even come close to starting.

"Contrary to popular belief, yes", he answered, a bit of pride could be heard in his voice.

"What's it about?"

"It's a comedy about three friends who don't wanna find their soulmates."

"Sounds interesting. Anything else?"

"Nah, just the basics for the characters. What about you?"

"Two friends who somehow don't notice they're mates."

"That sounds ridiculous. How can they not notice the matching jewelry?"

"Some people are blind to little details!"

"Hmm sure", he said, obviously not convinced. The two of you let the silence take over as you walked to the pizza place of Hendery's choice. Upon arrival, he opened the door for you and waved to the workers as the two of you sat down.

"So this is the place you talk about all of the time?" You asked, slipping the jacket off of your shoulders and onto the seat next to you.

He began to rapidly nod and talk about how amazing the entire menu was.

"Hey Hendery, I was wondering when you'd be in this week", a male said as he walked over to the two of you.

"Blame them," he pointed to you. "They keep making me study when I could be eating."

"You're the one who asked me to help you study!"

"I didn't think you would be so strict with me!"

The waiter laughed at the banter between the two of you and said, "I can't believe it's taken you so long to bring your soulmate here." The two of you instantly paused and looked at him. Confusion written on your faces. The waiter looked just as confused when he saw your reactions.

"Wait did you guys not know? How did you guys not see the matching rings?" Your eyes moved to Hendery's hand where a ring that was quite similar to your own sat. His was a sun, yours a moon, but the two were obviously a pair.

"How did we not notice?" You asked, mainly to yourself.

"That explains why everyone always thought we were dating…" Hendery mumbled, causing the waiter to die of laughter.

"This is comedy gold", he mumbled as he walked towards the kitchen to give the two of you time to talk together.

"Dang it. This means you're right."

"That's what you're thinking about right now?"

"That and this is an interesting first date."

"Nothing else? Like being surprised that we're mates?"

"No, in all honesty, it makes a lot of sense. We get along quite well and I've always thought you were cute."

"Okay well if we're just spilling everything, I always used to get disappointed when I would look at you and think of how you weren't my soulmate."

"Well good thing I am then. Anything else?"

"Not that I can think of…"

"Well, I have something on mind. Can I kiss you?"

"Yeah…"

"Fantastic", he said and moved to sit next to you to be closer. One hand moved to your face and the other to your neck as he leaned in. You could feel his lips pull into a smile as they landed on yours. Soon after he pulled away, allowing you to see his smile.

"I'm so freaking glad you're my soulmate", he told you before leaning back in.

---

It was Monday, at 5 pm. You and Hendery had just arrived at class and sat down next to your friends, telling them the news. They each turned to each other and started laughing.

"You guys knew didn't you?" You asked.

"Yeah. We had a bet going to see how long it would take you guys to figure it out", Ten told you as he held his hand out to Y/B/F who rolled their eyes but put a twenty-dollar bill in his hand.

"We're the epitome of stupidity", You said as you looked back at Hendery, who nodded in agreement. The rest of you continued to talk while you waited for class to begin, which mainly revolved around the stupidity of you and your mate.

---

"Hey babe, can you come in here?" Hendery called for you. You already knew why it was to introduce your relationship to his subscribers. You walked into his room and sat down next to him on his bed as Hendery told the viewers you were joining the video today. You had been in numerous videos of Hendery's, to the point where the fans were disappointed when you weren't there.

"So yet again we have Y/N joining today. You guys know them and love them. So as you guys can tell by the title, we have another hilarious story for you. Y/N you wanna start?" He asked as he looked over at you.

"Sure. So Hendery's dumbass asked me to help him study. 10 minutes into it, he wants pizza. So of course Hendery said the most magical words ever, 'I'll pay'. So obviously I join him for pizza, and what happens when we get there?" You asked, allowing Hendery to take over.

"So we sit down, and a few minutes later the waiter comes over and we're talking cause I'm a regular there and I know all of the workers pretty well. The waiter says 'glad to finally meet your soulmate'. And we both just stared at him. Thinking 'what the hell is this dude talking about?'. So he points out our rings and was like 'You guys didn't know?'. And that's how we realized, we're soulmates."

"Yeah, we felt and still feel stupid as hell."

"And the funniest part is, our friends knew. In fact, they had a bet going to see how long it would take us to figure out", Hendery laughed.

"Ten won the bet", you informed the camera.

"Yeah, the bastard got twenty bucks out of it. But you know I got the best prize, I get Y/N as my soulmate sooo…" You could feel the heat rushing to your cheeks and immediately covered them. Hendery attempted to pull them away and once he did he pressed a kiss to each of them.

"I love you", he whispered to you.

"I love you too", you whispered back.

---

"So guys can you guess what today is?" Hendery asked the camera. "If you can't, don't worry, I'll tell you. It's mine and Y/N's anniversary. We have been dating for five years now, we've known each other for, like seven years now. So I've decided it's time I finally propose", He said pulling a box out of his jacket pocket and holding it up to the camera as he opened it. "I'm hoping this goes smoothly and that they are really to take this step with me. So I'm not gonna show you guys the actual proposal, but I am gonna show you their reaction afterward. So I'll be back soon. Well for you guys it'll be soon", he paused the camera and slipped the box back in his pocket before moving into the living room. He was waiting for you to get back from the studio to start making dinner for the two of you. His plans were interrupted by the dog pawing at his leg. He could help but to smile and bend down and scratch his ears, causing the dog's tail to wag aggressively.

"You better not mess this up tonight", he told the dog. Y/D/N just continued to wag his tail before laying down at his feet, only to jump up the moment you open the door.

"Hey Y/D/N", you said as you moved to ruffle his fur. "Hey babe", you greeted Hendery, giving him a kiss before sitting down next to him.

"So I was thinking pizza for dinner", he told you. You nodded in response, it had become a tradition to have pizza on your anniversary.

"As expected."

"And you love it", he told you as he went to the kitchen to start dinner. As the timer was getting close to the end Hendery whistled for Y/D/N.

"Good boy", he told him, kneeling in front of him and reaching into his pocket. He pulled the box out and tied it to the collar. "Now stay in here buddy", he ordered, and thankfully he listened. Just as Hendery stood up, the timer went off. He pulled it out and cut it before putting it on the plates and going back to the living room where you waited.

"It looks great!" You exclaimed. Kissing his cheek before taking your plate. It didn't take long for the two of you to finish and Hendery decided it was time to ask.

"Hey Y/D/N, come here boy", he called out to the dog, who instantly responded. "Hey take a look at what's on his collar", he told you. Your eyes moved from the tv to Y/D/N and they widened. You could hear Hendery chuckle as motioned for you to take the box. You did, your eyes widened even more at the ring itself. It was exactly what you wished for, you looked at Hendery who had already moved to the ground.

"We definitely had an interesting start, how many people can say they didn't even realize their soulmate was right beside them for two years. While it may not have been the smartest thing we've ever done, I'm kinda glad in a way that we didn't know. It made us have a friendship beforehand, and we knew our attraction was genuine, it's not just that we're soulmates. And these years together have been so amazing, and I wanna spend the rest of them together. Will you, Y/N, marry me?"

"Yes!" You whispered as the tears flooded your eyes. He helped you put the ring on and to wipe the tears away.

"Would it be okay to get the camera he asked?" You nodded and he pressed a kiss to your lips before running into the bedroom and grabbing it. He recorded the ring and the two of you talking for a few minutes before shutting it off. This was definitely gonna be one of your favorite videos.

-🃏

[secret-engima]

(Stares into space) why is your Cyra oc so hilarious oh my god. (Throws cookies at you) she is amazing and I love her already. Tiny!Badass!Cyra! For The Win. Kicking Ass and Taking Names since BORN. FluFF?? PLEASE??? FRIENDSHIP WITH THE GLAVIES! THEM SPENDING TIME WITH CYRA AND BEING SO /SAPPY/ AND FAMILY AND UGGHHH—I love the glavies. They're GREAT. Protective Squad Over Tiny Gurl that Kicks Their Ass and Takes Kneecaps with ZERO MERCY.

*laughs* glad you like her! Hmmmm lemme see what I can scrounge for fluff:

-First time Tredd, Luche, and Axis met Cyra, Tredd tried to tease her for being short and made a crass comment about her and Libertus’s “activities”. Out of courtesy for his dubious status as Lib’s friend Cyra gave him once chance to apologize and never say that again. He was dumb enough to say “what are you gonna short stack? Take out my kneecaps?” Seconds later, screeching in pain on the floor from Cyra doing JUST THAT and Luche was looking at her in something akin to awe while Axis was silently laughing himself sick over Tredd’s plight.

-Surprisingly, Tredd is now one of her biggest defenders. Once he got over the pain of being nailed in the kneecaps by a cane made out of high-quality metal, he decided he LIKED Lib’s spitfire wife and that if anyone wanted to risk the wrath of her cane they’d have to go through him first. He can often be found hanging out in her bookshop on his days off now instead of the bars, making faces at her tea and trying to steal the cookies while keeping order with the other customers. He’s like her unofficial, self-employed bouncer.

-Axis and Cyra bond over kiddos, but then one day Axis brings Porrima to come meet the bookshop owner everyone’s been talking about and its a match made in terror. They get along VERY well. Scary well. All hail the disabled ladies yo.

-Cyra actually likes Luche’s company? Like- once she’s smacked a bit of the cynicism and arrogance out of him he’s one of the few people with a Braincell and she appreciates that. Luche likes to slink in and read in her shop for hours with a cup of tea and NO LOUD NOISES. It’s the one place where Tredd won’t bug him even if they’re in the same room and Luche appreciates this.

-After the initial shock of Lib marrying so impulsively wears off and Cyra has begun to cement her place in their lives, the glaives decide to through a proper Galahdian Wedding Feast for the two. Nyx helps Lib pick out wedding beads and Tredd forcibly inserts himself in the kitchen because he’s a surprisingly good cook if you don't mind enough spice to set your mouth on fire, and the rest of Little Galahd is always down for a party so they clean up the center square and hang paper lanterns and decorations and stuff even though the actual party is going to take place at Yamachang’s with Cyra and Lib and Lib’s closest friends.

-Libertus bridal carries Cyra down all those freaking stairs to Yamachang’s place because no way is he making his wife suffer. When she starts to get crabby over being “treated as helpless” Lib retorts that he has his man pride to care for, let him stoke it just a teeny bit okay? and Cyra rolls her eyes and lets it slide.

-Cyra is ... honestly surprised by the party? Like- all of Little Galahd is partying on their behalf even if its only the core Glaive group there at Yamachang’s to toast the wedding and make the traditional wedding bets on who does what in the relationship. Cyra doesn’t mind, it’s actually a nice gesture but .... most of these people are still strangers/semi-strangers to her why they celebrate?

-Lib explains that it’s tradition for everyone to celebrate a wedding and that Little Galahd needed an excuse to be happy. Cyra lets it go and rolls with everything.

-Until Tredd picks her up and tries to run away with her yelling “Bride Steal! She’s not wearing beads I get to Bride Steal!”

-Tredd does NOT get to bride steal thank you and since Tredd was smart enough to wait until she let go of her cane to snatch her up, she instead grabs his braids and begins calmly (read: painfully) steering him back to the table. Tredd is a wimp when it comes to his braids, so he apologizes and curses the whole way back to an unimpressed Libertus, who takes his wife, sets her down, and then punches Tredd in the face.

-Cyra watches from the safety of her chair as a mini brawl spawns right there and senses that this is a habit for Galahdian Wedding Feasts.

-She could get to like these idiots.

-Moving on to more OVERTLY fluffy things- the Glaives take turns working at her shop for free. They don’t let her know what they’re doing, they just make pills of themselves until she crabbily gives them something to do. Tredd often gets banished to stocking the heavy books on shelves, Luche somehow ends up being the backup accountant, Pelna is the only one she trusts around her tea blends, and Nyx cheerfully takes on the role as the flirty-hot cashier. She thinks she’s punishing them, but actually this has been the plan since they realized just how much running her own shop can hurt her.

-One time she had a terrible Bad Day, but she had been advertising a sale/charity thing (books were discounted and for every purchase fifty percent of the total amount would go to Little Galahd’s refugee fund or something like that) for that day and so she COULDN’T close the shop. So she dragged herself down hours later than usual, limping and aching and dreading every second of angry customers who wanted to know why she hadn’t opened yet-.

-Only to find the shop already open and humming with pleasant activity. Nyx was at the register, flirting his way into getting the two ladies at the counter to buy cups of tea to go with their books, Tredd was helping carry the TOWER of books a little old grandfather was looking to purchase, Axis was quietly helping a few kiddos pick out books they wanted and Luche, Pelna, Libertus, and Crowe were all bustling around serving tea and pastries and in general keeping the peace.

-Libertus spotted his wife gaping at the foot of the stares and immediately whisked her to a comfy chair where she could watch the chaos, scolding her for being out of bed the entire time and that “they had it handled so just relax”.

-Cyra buried her face in Lib’s shoulder to hide the fact that she wanted to CRY.

-How were all these idiots in her life so NICE?????

-The sale was a hit and the glaives were all glowing with pride at how much they made and then refused to let Cyra pay them for their work because “Hey, half of it is going to our home anyway right? That counts as pay! Besides, we were helping out a friend, AND Lib’s wife.” and then Cyra really did cry while calling them idiots. By this point they know that “idiot” is just her nickname for them and that really she was grateful and so they all just laughed as they shuffled out to let her and Lib go back upstairs to relax.

-On a final note, Cyra will never again run out of baby sitters for Prompto on days when she can’t take care of him herself. If the Glaives can’t do it, their sisters or spouses will and by the time Prompto’s like- 15 and doesn’t NEED a babysitter anymore all of Little Galahd knows Cyra and is willing to Throw Hands for her anyway.

[lalainajanes]

Hi! idk if you're still taking prompts but can you do one where klaus and caroline are coworker's who are always getting into heated screaming matches during team meetings and everyone who works with them is just used to it, but the new girl is like wtf??? and then later finds out that they're actually married and don't hate each other?? thanks!! your writing gives me life

Obviously I could not resist fluff day! For Step Two of @klarolineshippersclub 12KCXmas event!

With Friends Like These

The office is deserted – its 7 PM on a Friday – so Caroline’sstartled by the sound she hears coming from the hall. It’s a staccato series oftaps. Heels, eating up the distance quickly, and she rolls her chair back,grabbing her phone from the corner of the desk just in case someone’s bleeding.

She’s about to go and see what’s happening, when Kat barrelsin. Her eyes are wide with what Caroline suspects is glee, her hair a wildwindblown mass of curls. Her jackets only half buttoned and she tosses asideher purse, rushing towards Caroline. “You will not believe what I just heard!”

Caroline lets herself be shaken, taking another confusedlook at Kat’s dishevelment. “Did you run from the bar? Thought you were goingto try to seduce the new guy.”

Katherine looks offended. “Try? Please. Mason’s a sure bet.He’ll keep until next week.”

“Wow,” Caroline drawls. “Something came up that’s kept youfrom guaranteed sex? Must be big.”

Katherine lets go of her, tossing her hair over her shoulderand letting out an irritated huff. “Yeah, yeah, mock me. We don’t all get to scheduleregular freaky married sex.”

It takes a fair amount of willpower not to tear her eyesaway and Caroline lifts her chin stubbornly. Katherine might know far too many details about her and Klaus’ sex life butthat was only because Caroline gets a little over share-y when tequila’sinvolved in a girl’s night out. Klaus is shameless enough not to care, evenwhen Kat’s comments get overly pointed. If anything, he leans into it, lets hishands linger and does his best to make Caroline blush. Caroline is working onbuilding up the same aplomb in the face of Kat’s suggestive smirks and taunts.

“You seem to do just fine in the freaky sex department,” shesnipes back.

Katherine grins, slow and very pleased with herself. “Ireally do.”

Caroline groans, walking over to the couch that lines onewall of her office. “I do not want to have this conversation with you.”

Her dry spell is hours away from ending and she’s really looking forward to it.

Klaus has been gone for ten days, dealing with inspectionsfor the new hotel the company is opening in London. Caroline’s team is busy puttingtogether room concepts so she hadn’t been able to justify taking the time awayto accompany him.

She likes phone sex as much as the next girl whose husbandhas a hot accent but it got old after a few days. She misses having a warm bodyto roll into at night; the way he wakes he scrapes his morning beard againsther shoulder when she grumbles about the alarm.

“Someone’s cranky!” Katherine sings. She circles Caroline’sdesk, helping herself to the bourbon that’s stashed in the lowest drawer. “Mynews might not help you.”

Oh joy.

Caroline slouches low, letting her legs flop ratherungracefully, “And yet, you rushed all the way back here to tell me about it?”

“It’s just too hilarious. I couldn’t not.”

Katherine’s sense of humor is a weird thing, an acquiredtaste, so Caroline braces herself. “Alright, hit me.”

“Uh uh. Let me set the scene.”

“And people say I’m dramatic.”

Kat ignores the complaint, lifting the bottle high. “There Iam, in the ladies room…”

“Taking off your panties so you could stuff them in Mason’spocket?”

“Please. Like you’ve never used that move.”

Caroline could honestly say she hadn’t (Klaus likes toremove her lingerie himself) but Katherine’s already continuing her tale. Sheperches on the edge of Caroline’s desk, wiggling in an effort to getcomfortable.

So it’s not going to be a short story. Caroline presses herlips together, holding in a sigh, glancing at the clock. She’s supposed to grabKlaus from the airport at eleven and she’d planned go home and change intosomething easier to remove beforehand. Hopefully Katherine can resist the urgeto embellish too extensively.

“I’m minding my own business, about to flush, when I hear afamiliar name.”

“Yours?”

“Nope, yours. Preceded and followed by some very colorfuldescriptors.” She pauses expectantly, eagerly watching for Caroline’s reaction.

Only to be disappointed when Caroline shrugs, emitting onlya dismissive, “Somehow I’ll survive.” The last time she’d really been overlyconcerned with other people liking her she’d owned pom poms.

Katherine, however, isn’t finished.

“Really? Even when I tell you that our little bathroomgossiper had very complimentary things to say about your hubs?”

Her hands curl into the couch’s cushions, a teeny flare ofjealousy flaring bright.

She’s an only child and she gets a little possessive, okay?Klaus is into it. He’s also no stranger to getting growly and shooting murdereyes and staking a claim and, since he’s got a bajillion siblings, he doesn’t evenhave the same justification for being bad at sharing.

Those incidents usually result in an immediate need forprivacy (or the reasonable facsimile found behind a locked office door or thebackseat of a car). The next day they’ll sleep in, there will be hickies on herthighs and scratches on his back, and they’ll eat dessert for breakfast.

Honestly, Caroline kind of loves that particular ritual,knows very well that Klaus does too.

“Not everyone thinks Klaus is awful,” Caroline points out.

“Because most people are dumb and lack my excellent taste.”

Caroline eyes the bottle, seriously considering chugging abit and just calling a cab when it’s time to collect Klaus. She really doesn’twant to be drunk for their reunion but, if Kat doesn’t hurry up and get to apoint, it might be her best option. “I love you so I’m going to ignore the factthat you kinda just called me dumb.”

Katherine scoffs, “You’re not dumb, just dickmatized.”

It’s probably a good thing she’s not drinking because shewould have choked. Caroline’s laugh sputters out, grows in volume, and she hasto cover her mouth when it becomes hard to control herself. Her eyes water alittle as she finally manages to stop giggling, “Yeah, I’m totally tellingKlaus that you said that. He’ll take it as a compliment.”

“Literally the only nice thing I’ll ever say about him isthat you’re far more bearable and less uptight than you used to be. I creditthe regular orgasms.”

She and Katherine had been hired at about the same time and,in the beginning, hadn’t gotten along overly well. Kat now headed The MikaelsonGroup’s marketing team, was a wizard at luring in celebs and influencers andmaking their hotels a coveted destination. Caroline had worked her way up torun a design team. It’s how she’d met Klaus (and they’d butted heads too in theearly days) coordinating with him and his architect minions.

“I, too, am a big fan,” Caroline admits. “Though, honestly,you should really give cuddling a try. Totally relaxing.”

“Ew, pass.”

It’s an argument they’ve had before.

“Anyway,” Katherine says, so loudly that Carolineinstinctively glances towards the door. “Back to my story. Greta Martin thinksyou should stop being a total bitch to Klaus in meetings. Oh, and she’s alsoplanning on banging him.”

Caroline sits up, now outraged. “I am not…”

Katherine cuts her off, “You have been a little snippy thisweek.”

Only because Klaus has been baiting her.

“That’s just how we are. He pokes, I prod. He’s annoyinglysmug, all ‘oh, aren’t I the cleverest?’ and I like to knock him down.”

“Verbal foreplay is your thing,” Katherine says, adding aknowing nod.

She throws her hands up, collapsing back again. “Exactly! Mymarriage is freaking great and if that…”

Again, she doesn’t get to work up to a proper rant. Superannoying.

“That’s the best part!” Katherine crows. “She has no ideayou and Klaus are married! Talk about dumb people.”

Well, that’s mollifying. Slightly. Caroline will just haveto make things clear. Plans begin to form. She discards the racier ones (unlessGreta proves to be unwilling to take a hint). She twists her wedding bandabsently, “How has she not noted the rings?”

“Forget the rings. How she hasn’t noted Klaus’ doofybesotted face whenever you walk into a room is the bigger issue. Maybe sheneeds glasses?”

Maybe Caroline will get her assistant to shoot Greta anemail detailing the company’s excellent insurance coverage on Monday.

She hears the bottle clink and she shakes off her mentallists, shooting Katherine a glare. “You know, it would have been easy for youto clear up her misconceptions in that bathroom.”

Kat’s brows rise and she shoots Caroline a look like she’ssaid something totally insane. “And deprive myself of prime workplace drama?Please. You know how bored I get on Wednesdays when I have to sit in those dumblegal meetings.”

Caroline’s displeasure must read on her face because Kattosses her a bright smile, leaning forward and offering the bottle. Her toneturns placating, “Oh, relax, Cupcake. It’s harmless. You’ll probably forget allabout this little snafu over the weekend.”

Caroline’s does have big plans.

“Maybe,” she allows grudgingly. She stands, straighteningher pencil skirt. “Speaking of, I should go home and make myself pretty.”

“You’re going to do that gross airport make out thing, aren’tyou?”

Caroline smiles, not trying to hide the slightly mockingedge to it. “Usually, yeah. But Elijah’s not a guy who tolerates a scene.”

She relishes the freezing of Katherine’s body, the wideningof her dark eyes. Her hand flexes, looking for the bottle that had recentlybeen clutched there.

Caroline withholds it, setting it down and out of reach.

She’s not entirely sure what had gone down at the Christmasparty last year (Katherine was way better at keeping secrets no matter how muchliquor was applied) but she knows Kat’s red lip had been rubbed off and Elijah’svest had been buttoned incorrectly when she and Klaus had met the odd couple atthe elevator bank.

Kat had twitched a little at the mention of Elijah’s nameever since.

She adopts her sweetest expression, “Maybe the legalmeetings will be more exciting when Elijah’s leading them in person, hmm?”

Katherine’s mouth opens. Closes. She wiggles her toes to gether heels back in place before hopping off the desk. “I need to…”

She doesn’t finish her sentence, stalking out of the office.Caroline watches her go, both satisfied and bursting with curiosity. A speechlessKatherine Pierce? Caroline never thought she’d see the day.

She makes a mental note to tell Klaus, to wheedle until heagrees to pump Elijah for info. She didn’t often get bored at work, not whenshe could just pop into Klaus’ office and poke around in his projects. But hehad another trip on his calendar next month.

She won’t turn down a little in office entertainment whilehe’s gone.

[inquisitorhotpants]

I'm seriously so tempted to ask "every character in your new novel" because they're all unfairly attractive but I'll try to limit it to a few. How about... Aiko, Adriana, Shana, and Andrew? Yes, I know that's four. LOOK, THAT'S ALREADY A LOT FEWER THAN ALL OF THEM.

Max: My best friend and my sister. And not me. Andrew: Hey, they have good taste.Carmina: Oh, pros and cons of dating Andrew?  Cons, his pride has no off switch and your shoes might end up splashed in vomit. In fairness, this isn’t really solely him, male Marines are just like that. It’s an inherent character flaw.Max: ... I’m sorry, what? Carmina: “I’m sorry, what, ma’am.” Honestly, Captain. You need to remember proper customs and courtesies.Max: ... Carmina: ...Max: Not in a million years. You may get Andrew to do that, but it’ll be a cold day in hell before I do. Carmina: Anyway, so cons.Andrew: Why are you starting with cons?Carmina: He’s an insufferably chirpy morning person. People like that cannot be trusted. Also, zero poker face. Maybe that’s a pro.Andrew: Some pros, please? Carmina: Your butt’s cute. Andrew: Well, obviously.Carmina: And you’re a better cook than me. Oh, he’ll have dinner ready when you get home. Excellent source of arm candy. Max: You two are nauseating.Andrew: Someday, some woman is going to stroll into your life and sucker punch you. I just hope I’m there to see it. Max: Never going to happen. I’m way too busy.Andrew: So who are you bringing to Singleton’s wedding?Max: No one. I barely sleep, let alone socialize.Andrew: You could ask your mother to find you a date. Max: I actually want to have fun at Singleton’s wedding, Kwan. Trust me, the women my mother have suggested would not have fun at a Marine wedding. But thanks for the super helpful advice.

Krys: Someone wants to date Shana!Shana: I hope that someone loves long distance relationships.Krys: Shana is adorable. Crazy smart, way too nice for this family - we’re still not sure how that happened, she can’t even insult people properly but it’s hilarious when she tries. Raina: Her apple crisp is definitely a pro. Oh my god, that shit is fucking delicious.Selene: I don’t know, can you travel with her? That would be a pro if you can.Shana: I mean, you can, but it would be on their own dime, they might be far away depending on where I’m at, I’m working the whole time I’m overseas, so it wouldn’t really be - yes, I wouldn’t do that, I don’t think. Krys: Ah, but she also has quite the way with words. I bet she writes the best letters. You could probably convince her to write longhand to you. Franklin: Shana sends me letters all the time. She doesn’t write to you girls? Selene: Shana, you write to Dad and not me? I am hurt. We were pen pals the whole time you were in college!Shana: ... Franklin: Sorry, Shana-Banana.Shana: Dad.Krys: Pro, you get to find out that she’s still called Shana-Banana at her age.Raina: If she lets you call her Shana-Banana without ... you know, giving you a stern glare, you know she loves you. Selene: Con, she cheats at literally every game ever.Krys: Or you just suck at them.Raina: More likely. Shana’s too nice to cheat.Selene: That’s what she wants you all to think. 

Max: Can I list Adri’s?Kathleen: No, Max, you cannot.Max: Why not?Kathleen: Because I said so.Max: Seriously?Kathleen: Don’t you think that Tyler would know better than you the pros and cons of dating Adriana?Max: No.Kathleen: Honestly, Maximilian. Stop being such a poor sport.Max: Tyler isn’t even here, he’s teaching a class. How about if I don’t, but I call in a second?Kathleen: This isn’t dueling, Max.Adriana: How about I answer for myself? Pros of dating me: I’m gorgeous, well-read, ambitious, and play a mean game of racquetball.Max: By “mean,” she means she’s just going to aim for you.Adriana: Just you, little brother. I also find there’s nothing better than relaxing with someone I love after yet another interminable day, maybe with a drink and a walk on the beach.Max: *singing* “If you like pina coladaaaaaaaas -”Adriana: Pina coladas are disgusting, but then again, your taste in booze is terrible.Max: Booze and beer are not the same thing. My taste in booze is impeccable. Adriana: And I said nothing about getting caught in the rain. That will ruin my hair. I prefer beaches or cabins in the snow. Being cuddled up in a cabin in Switzerland as snow falls outside is sublime.Max: Con, Adri will turn you down if your bank account is too small.Adriana: Lies. Tyler isn’t rich.Max: You shot Williams down so fast I think it broke the sound barrier.Adriana: Max, I was married by the time she asked.Max: Wait, if you hadn’t been, you’d have dated Williams?Adriana: Maybe. I like her. She gives you shit better than I do. Max: Also a con, Adri takes foreverrrrrr to get ready for something.Adriana: Just because I prefer to be put together is not a con. And we can talk about your nighttime routine.Max: Mine still doesn’t take as long as you. Oh, and scary movies will freak her out so much she won’t sleep. And won’t let you sleep.Adriana: Who let my little brother give the cons of dating me? Max: Makes for great pranks, though. That red balloon in your car, that was classic.Adriana: I hate you.Max: Awww, but I love you, big sister!Adriana: If you ruffle my hair I’m going to break your arm.Kathleen: If the two of you do not stop there will be hell to pay at dinner on Sunday. Adriana: Yes, Mother.Max: All right, Mom. 

Aiko: There are no pros to dating me. I don’t date. Too many games I need to finish.Krys: And she’s a charmer, folks!  Also she’s lying, she dates. She just has incredibly high standards, and I really don’t think “ranked higher than me in competitive on Overwatch” is a standard, Aiko.Aiko: That’s because you have no standards, Krys.Krys: I do, too. Mine just aren’t chiseled on stone tablets like some people.Jen: Pros of dating Aiko? Incredibly intelligent, passionate, driven. Very sneaky sense of humor; she’s usually so deadpan you don’t notice it until later. Job security, excellent sense of musicianship -Veronica: Sweetie, it sounds like you’re writing a resume for her. Aiko is lovely and anyone would be lucky to date her.Krys: Sure, if they’re allergic to natural light and prefer to bask in the glow of a monitor. You’ll really get her attention if you’ve just straight up melded with your computer.  Also, no netbook owners need apply, Alienware $7023860723048078234 gaming rig or bust.Aiko: Alienware is totally overpriced, Krys. Any gamer worth their salt builds their own machine.Krys: And no console players.Aiko: They can play consoles. Talented console players are impressive.Krys: And if you chose the synthesis ending on Mass Effect 3, she won’t even talk to you.Aiko: Because there is no reason a grunt should make that decision! That is removing people’s bodily autonomy in some half-assed bullshit excuse to not stick with the mission laid out in the other two games, and frankly the entire thing is absolute fucking nonsense anyway. It should have been destroy, that was the whole point, and they tacked on this idiotic “you kill off the Geth” nonsense to make you feel bad about choosing destroy, and I for one will not stand for it!Veronica: Pro, Aiko is very opinionated.Jen: Con, Aiko is very opinionated.Krys: Aiko is a big ball of angry gaming sunshine with an easily yanked chain. We love her.