#but when i put in my application for the passport it was in a very critical time slot

[sinterblackwell]

me getting an email that my package was delivered so i happily skip down the stairs because i figured it was the special edition of mdzs that i preordered online, only to see a very flat parcel on the front porch that definitely isn’t a book. maybe it’s the extra fanart associated with tthe special edition that just came in before the book??? MAYBE??

it’s labeled with a message that says “extremely urgent” so it’s something important, but i didn’t order express delivery for this book…..what else can it be then?? it has my name on it so let me just open it and se—

MY PASSPORT(?(?)))?/)/€:&,&:8:829292915161

[nycnomad]

We went to California for my work trip, and it really was great leaving from our little airport with its 7 gates down here in Florida. (I didn't get groped by TSA!) We spent 4 days in Napa, visiting the vineyards where we're members, drinking so much great wine, and eating so much great food, then my work event went great, and then we went back home to NYC for two weeks for Thanksgiving with my husband's family and to see all of our friends.

It was a little peek into what our life might be like if we lived in Florida full-time and just went back to NYC now and then. We went to our usual bar trivia and some movies at our favorite theater, but then I also went to a 2 Michelin star $700pp tasting menu with one of my co-workers (work paid, don't worry!) and we went to one of the holiday markets with my husband's sister who was in town from Poland. So, partly everyday things and partly NYC-specific things! I'm a little jealous of our friends back there hanging out without us, but I'm also very happy right now to not have any social responsibilities and to be able to eat a little lighter and focus a little on my YouTube channel (that's been growing!).

Anyway, I was inspired to post because I woke up this morning and the sun was shining in through the balcony doors, and I stood in front of them and watched the ocean waves hit the beach as I put on some pajama pants. And I love waking up in my NYC apartment, too, but there's something special about walking around with no pants with my wide open windows and knowing that no one can see me! 🙂

Also, we bought our first-ever air fryer, and because my husband loves a gadget, he's almost exclusively been the one to use it. And because it keeps setting off our smoke alarm, he's been obsessively cleaning it. He does a ton around our house in NYC, but cooking and washing the dishes is usually my domain! It's been a nice break for me.

And one more thing: I need to renew my passport, so yesterday we took my photo and then went to Walmart to get a money order to send with my application, and then we went to Office Depot to print out my application, and then we went to CVS to print out the photo, and then we went to the post office to mail everything. And everywhere we went, people were SO NICE. Employees went out of their way to help us at every store, like they were just INTERESTED in us and doing their jobs. People said hello to us when we walked into the stores. There are of course amazing employees in some NYC stores, but a lot of people act like saying hello to you even when you're literally standing in front of them at their register is just out of the realm of possibility. I don't know if people outside of NYC just have better manners or are just less tired because they don't have to deal with as many customers, but it is REFRESHING.

Okay, enough of my blathering, off to read your posts!

[sketchystalker]

So I've been doing a "scary hour" the past two nights (will reblog the original post again for context) and let me tell you it's worked wonders. I don't set a timer, I just work until it's approximately been an hour or until the task I was focused on is complete. I also listen to a horror movie soundtrack to add a "scary" way to keep me on-task.

Last night, at 2 AM (the scariest hour, and when I have time/motivation to be productive) I went through my email that I hadn't checked in months, sent a couple of follow-up emails, and checked a bunch of important documents and forms I needed for school. I listened to the Kinds of Kindness soundtrack while doing it, because while that isn't a horror movie, the soundtrack is tension-building enough to be horrifying.

And tonight (also at 2 AM), I got my shit together to write a bio I had been putting off and responded to a very important email. So now my school inbox is completely caught up ahead of the new semester, and I'm feeling so relieved. I didn't even have to listen to any scary music because I was too locked in.

I'm planning on continuing my scary hours through this week, so tomorrow I will be researching candidates for the primary election as I have been putting it off for too long, and from there I will finally be finishing my passport application. Will be keeping y'all posted as a way to stay accountable but wow I'm feeling so good right now. Incredible how finishing the tasks that you've been dreading will actually make you feel less dread

[sand-lily]

I JUST GOT MY CoE!!!

(like just now now)

they still didn't tell me when my training date is, where my hotel is, when i can check in to the hotel, or APPARENTLY how long I'll be staying

(my contract says 1 year, but the CoE says 3years,, so idk what to put on the application , if they dont answer by Friday I'll just put 3years, then i wont get in trouble if i do renew the contract but it wont be an issue if i only stay 1 year)

im NOT buying another hotel if i can help it, SO i do wanna know when i can check into the training hotel so i can buy my plane ticket for that day and put that as the arrival date on the application, according to maps and reddit the shinkansen is only a few hours to the city i need to be in from the airport, so im taking that instead of doing a layover in japan,,

so i need to know WHEN i can check in so i can do the math to know WHAT flight to take, and since im technically losing a day across time zones, thats going to be hard for me since normal time math is ALREADY hard for me

i already have the passport photos, i already have the envelopes, i already made the shipping labels (just gotta print them), i already signed the disclaimer (gotta print), I already filled out the application minus those 2 things im not sure about (and gotta print),,

so my plan is to go to the library and print all the stuff at once, and sign it at the library, then go from there to the post office to drop it off, and then from there back home (shit has to be planned when you don't have a car and public transit only comes once every 2hrs)

the CoE is valid for 3 months from tonight, so im HOPING they want me there the last week of june or mid july so i can pack up my apartment, call my bank, get an esim card for my phone company (this is the only phone number I had my WHOLE LIFE and I don't wanna lose it so i MIGHT pay for international data to keep it), take care of my pets, break my lease unfortunately, get a transit card (apparently you can buy them online BEFORE going to Japan and have it shipped to you),

and quit my new job i JUST started last week unfortunately,, ive only done training so i dont even think i can put it on my resume, HOWEVER, i did pass CPR + baby CPR so i can put that on my resume if they have the certificate on file (idk if they filed it yet)...but if i have another month, I'll be able to have childcare IN A SCHOOL experience (asst teaching)

ig i WONT be able to save up to pay off my credit card, or get my hair braided, and i WONT be able to afford business class like i wanted,, i just hope i get a window seat, i WILL NOT sit in the middle if i can avoid it, i also dont want an isle seat just in case i sit next to somebody who doesn't speak English and they feel nervous about asking me to move so they can use the toilet... i really dont wanna talk to ppl like that

i also also need to look for headphones with a type c connector, because i heard those exist,, my Bluetooth headphones dont work very well on airplanes and i MISS wired headphones severely (i WILL NOT take them out of the box until im at the airport tho, i WILL NOT risk losing them before the flight, as i tend to do)

i also also also need to go through my music library and delete the songs i always skip and add in the new ones ive been playing on repeat via YouTube, im NOT paying for plane wifi , i also x3 need to figure out how to download Libby books like PDFs since i cant use libby outside of America and i want to keep reading books on the flight

ig im un-makeovering my apt tomorrow, time to put doors back on hinges and remove contact paper and fill in nail holes and everything,, it took me like 3days to do everything up and i did it with a butter knife instead of a screwdriver, so it should take less time to undo it with my new electric screwdriver ,, i think my sister is going to try and steal my bedframe, shes already laid dibs on the couch

they BETTER NOT charge me ANY fees considering i paid a TRIPLE deposit to move in here without a cosigner and thats the whole point of a deposit

anyways i got a lot to do tomorrow, so i gotta go to bed at a REASONABLE HOUR, NOT 2AM

and if anybody wants to help me pay off my $1400 credit card bill (ive been using it to pay rent and buy groceries since nobody wants to hire me, unemployment is only enough to pay the minimum + my phone bill so i dont get late fees)

here are my PayPal and cashapp,, im not good at art AT ALL, but if yall want commissions for something so that i can earn the money (i can only do traditional art), I'll do that too,, or i can proofread something? creative writing is actually my forte believe it or not

anyways

cashapp: https://cash.app/$firellily

(the pfp is a pic of my cat)

[friedesgreatscythe]

i lost my passport, non driver's id (which was much expired), and did not keep any of my school IDs, which is getting in the way of me applying to the morgue clerk job, which has a cut off date of the 13th, and demands transcripts and an application fee, money i do not have (no this is not me asking for money, no do not give me any). my stepdad is going to set up having me do some filing and organizing for a backlog of data they have, so at least that will be something i have for myself, but i'm just. i dunno what i am. i'm tired, mostly.

i'm also tired because i'm realizing just how much of my mental damage has been shaped by the abuse my mother inflicted on me since i was a child, single digits, and how it was so ingrained in my brain as a template for even non-pathological behaviors that, when i thought about what she did, my brain simply went, "well that can't be abuse, i'm sure other parents try to shove soap in their child's mouth while restraining them," or me and my shrink pinpointing a change in my behavior occurring concurrent with my mother's abusive/traumatic treatment of me and me having absence seizures, to the point where we can look at the report cards i have from elementary school and see teacher comments go from all positive to, "kristin has a bad attitude when criticized, is self-defeating when it comes to math, calls herself stupid, says she can't do it," and it's exhausting on a mental level to be 36 and realize that the first three and a half decades of your life has been shaped with a raw, oozing, hideous wound called mother. the same mother who has only ever wanted to be a good mom, because so much of her adult life has been defined by the fact that she is a mother, likely not something she was always happy to be, but she herself was mistreated and raised in a skewed, damaged way by her mother. i have to do a lot of forgiveness sans an apology or even an admission from her, and that makes me Tired.

having bpd is very very very very very very very tiring. it's heavy.

but at least i have the kittens and the FC and hasanabi videos to watch and the draft i'm putting together and peppermint coffee and the upcoming autumn. little things, and such.

[cosmicblame]

Okay. Long catharsis post just so I can see what I put myself through

(Bonus, this is how you get a passport in the US fast)

Jan 17th- I submitted a passport renewal, paid for expedited processing (at the time was it was estimated at 3-5 weeks)

Feb 10th- check the (v shitty) online portal, and see my materials have just been received. Note somewhere on the website that processing went from 3-5 weeks and grew to 5-7 weeks. They start the clock the day they RECEIVE the materials.

(Flight is March 16th)

Feb 28th- get laid off

March 2nd- call passport hotline to ask what's up... gets through (A MIRACLE as I will learn on this journey). Told to call back tomorrow

March 3rd- call. A fucking uwu woman is all like "you're chill. You need your passport by the 10th because you need a visa?? No problem. It will be there. Seriously. No problems. None. What. So. Ever"

March 8th- the online portal is still working. Indicates "still in process". Takes about 10 calls to get through to an agent. I say "how am I supposed to receive the passport by the 10th if it hasn't shipped yet?" I get yelled at for being naive to believe they can just tell me when I'll get my passport and that's how the system works.

I have the option of an in person appointment March 9th at 10am.

... In Puerto Rico or Monday in Honolulu.

I see if I can make it happen. I can't. Because I gave no new income... and I have no new income because I filed for the half week I worked/was laid-off, and unemployment is now contesting whether I was actually laid off.

[March 9, 10, 13, & 14] I call passport people upwards of 20x a day. Sometimes, it is just broken. Sometimes they're too busy. Sometimes, they tell me there are no in-person appointments.

[During this time my SNAP and Medicaid benefits fall through the bureaucratic cracks of hell.

I stress make an entire outfit, teaching myself pleating for bishop sleeves. I look fly as fuck]

March 9th- portal breaks. Otherwise-known-as: exclusively for anyone who's documents were received the week my documents were received, it just says "NA gov't borked". Weirdly find out my passport is in Tucson. Which is weird because there is an office in Philly.

I freak out. Deep dive on the internet. Read on Reddit that they accept a VERY limited number of walk-ins. But you have to be first. So show up early.

March 10th- Show up in person 1.5 hours before opening (6:30) in 30 degree whether.

Meet a vet trying to go to Mexico to treat his PTSD with psilocybin and a lesbian who works at Home Depot. They are my saving grace.

THEY NO LONGER TAKE IN PERSON APPOINTMENTS. NO EXCEPTIONS.

Home depot lesbian tells us we can call our U.S. Rep.

Call immediately. Leave a message.

[Weekend break]

March 13th- don't hear anything from Rep. Decide to walk into Senator's office. Get yelled at again. I probably wasn't yelled at, but I still cried. You nerd an appointment (nobody picked up to schedule an appointment).

My saint of a best friend tells me I need to sign a waiver of privacy for these reps to act on my behalf. 30 minutes later I'm on the phone with a public worker/aide. THEY. GENUINELY. WANT. TO. HELP. THEY ARE THE BEST.

My Senator is new and the office required me to print the waiver for a "wet signature". Who has a printer? CVS. Go to CVS ten minutes before closing.

As an aside: All "rush" companies cannot help you if you have an application in. They are stupidly expensive. Scam.

Well, I reached out to them because the Passport Agency used to have an online system and these companies used bots to take the appointment and sell them. I tried to buy an appointment. Nada.

Portal still broken so I can't tell when my passport might be ready so I could adjust flights so that I don't abandon my best friend who isn't comfortable traveling alone as a woman.

March 14th- Senator aide calls to tells me my application has been delayed because I wanted an X as my gender marker. He can get me an appointment as long as I push my travel back a day. I buy a last-minute flight to show immenent travel plans proof <- a requirement to walk into passport office.

Flights within 3 days of travel are not cheap.

After the phone call I cancel the flight because it was expensive as shit, within 24 hours of booking (P.S. insurance that allows you to cancel at any point... only allow you to cancel if you're sick. Not just for fun and games), and the passport appointment is same day as the original flight I bought when I had a job. So I am calculating timewise if I can get the passport and still get to NYC to still catch my original flight.

I get a WILDLY cheap train ticket that leaves 5 hours later... at midnight.

March 15th- midnight 2 hour train to New York City. 5 hour "layover/connection". Decide to stay at my best friends. Construction on the subway means it takes an hour and a half to get to her. I sleep for an hour and a half and get on the hour and half subway back to the train station. 8 hour train ride through Western NY (snowy. Was not planning for that, shoes and socks got soaked through).

On the train, U.S. Rep aide calls says "even though your passport application was denied because not all federal facilities can give you an X as a gender indicator, I got them to print it with what it was on your original passport. It's printed and shipping... sir"

Me: 👀, I'm on a train to Buffalo, I called and told your office yesterday.

Him: keep the appointment

Stay on the train. Found out the ticket was so cheap because it was not technically all the way to Buffalo. Just some rinkadink station outside of Buffalo. Have to Uber into town.

Airbnb a room in a lady's house. The cats and dog were my saving grace.

March 16th (day of flight)- POWER walk to passport agency. Listening to strut songs. Realize I'm going to make this work.... then realize I need a visa to enter and that takes time (website says 4 days) to process. But you need a pic of your passport so I couldn't have started it earlier).

Wait for passport printing. Walking around freezing downtown. Random delivery guy tells me I walk fast because he saw me going the other way an hour earlier. I pull charm out of somewhere. Get complimented on my ass. "Thanks I grew it myself"

Literally just wander around aimlessly. Eavesdrop on someone coming out as nb and starting estrogen; I am stressed, I am fragile, I start WEEPING in public.

Go to passport office- "you have two passports. One is void. Good luck. P.S. Sir, hey the gender marker thing is weird, huh? You can reapply in a year, free of charge and get it fixed" Immediately apply for visa. Pay too much out or pocket for 24 hour processing. It needs to be physically printed once its issued. Scheming how to print it during our layover in London.

Get notification that the shipped passport has been delivered back home.

Share an Uber to the airport with someone else who got their passport (thank you so much).

Learn that my sister needed her visa checked to go through security in US. Start stressing.

2 hour flight to NYC.

Arrive in the same terminal as my flight to London and realize I don't need to show TSA my visa.

Try to get my ticket after checking in online. Can't. Go to desk. Explain the entire situation. "Sir, I know it's not your fault. We get charged a fee if you try and enter a country without a visa. Cannot be done. Unless you break up your tickets and get charged current day market rates flights and hope you get your visa during your layover but you're essentially getting charged double for this flight at same day prices.

If you get it tomorrow, you can come back and try again."

In my best friend's arms: My best friend flies. I cries.

Take the one and a half hour subway back to her place. Google to take a bus. No bus shows up. Twice. It's midnight. I've had a handful of almonds for dinner. I cry. Get on the wrong subway. Get on the right subway.

She has cleared out her food because of this travel. I fall asleep exhausted. Wake up every hour to see if visa came through.

It doesn't. Walk to CVSs to see if they have printing. They don't. Trying to figure out what to do. Visa comes through. Take a discounted lyft to FedEx. Print. Walk to subway. To commuter train. To airway train.

Go to check in desk. And since I'm tired of coming out and getting dirty looks I just say "I missed my flight". The check-in clerk says the fees to change my flight will be $700

I cry. I explain why I couldn't apply for my visa because a federal agency doesn't have consistency and does not tell you that some of them just can't offer gender affirmation even though it's on the form. This clerk works some magic and the fees are waived.

I have to wait 10 hours until my 17 hour flight.

This better be the only fucking time this cousin gets married.

The amount of trains, planes, and automobiles I've taken. The lack of good consistent sleep. The amount of coming out I've done. The truly lack of awareness of what that means (and/or the cruel intention of not abiding by it). The amount of faith that I can navigate and figure out my public insurance, food supplement, and unemployment... is terrifying. I'll be fucked otherwise.

I'm so tired. I stink. I'm gutted. I've been traveling for 48 hours before my actual travel. A lot of hurry up and wait.

Not to mention, in pursuing this full time (seriously I had to be on hold for 16 hours in the last two weeks)... I'm behind on packing up my house because I need to vacate my house and be without a place to live again.

The loneliness is most profound in these moments. I'm so so so fucking grateful for my self-reliance. I know it's something I need to break. But I wouldn't have been able to do this. I'm impressive. And? It's not sustainable. I was not built for this. I ache.

I find myself passing the endless hours just reliving being abandoned in the middle of the night. The benign neglect I was raised in.

That hug my best friend gave me? Only thing got me through.

"Sir" topples me. Any semblance of me having hope and believing I could get through this gets shafted when someone calls me sir. The he/hims is not great. But something about sir.

And I just get swept back up on my ex willfully misgendering me as some spectacle for her queer journey. After years and years of berating me about it.

But I have learned there are people out there who really do want to help. They're great. To anyone reading this for passport info: learn charm. I cannot emphasize this enough. It's fucked up. But it's vital.

I think the genre I'm living in is still some bitter sweet indie. I would love to say this is some comedy, but it's unreasonable to assume we know what genre we're living in.

Anyways. The last thing I learned is that I'm ready for the Amazing Race and I'm going to win.

Also I'll be out of the country. Tag me in the gold stuff

My queue said it was 12 posts but that was a lie. I have it set up for y'all. You're good.

[nebt-adventures]

I’m back in Singapore from Australia for 3 weeks now and I’m flying off again very soon… I’ve caught up with whoever I could. For the rest of you, I will have to do it next time I’m back because I just don’t have enough time.

I’m really glad I got the time to clean my room, cleaned a bit of the house, settled some house stuff like re-contracting new house wifi plans etc. I met my Mom for lunch twice and renewed her passport too. I’ve settled my visa application as well. I’ve met up some of my relatives at my cousin’s baby 100 day old party. Her name is Kayler. I’ve also ate whatever I wanted to eat for the past 2.5 years away from my home country.

Doing all these really feel like as if I’m preparing to die… which feels weirdly nice because I put in effort to meet up and spend time with people. Especially my Mom. I went into JB with her yesterday even though I was exhausted halfway through. We bought a lot of kuehs and Chinese pastries.

Currently, I’m doing a back up of my laptop. I’m also consolidating all my hard disk, thumb drives and SD card properly because I have so many duplicates. As I chanced upon some photos and videos I can’t help but to reminisce those good old times.

I’ve been redeeming free games on Epic Games whenever I can remember. As I was redeeming it just now, I thought to myself when will I be free to finally sit down and play? I hope I won’t just die and not being able to enjoy any of them…

Ok. I hope I will udate again soon!

[allovertheworldblog]

China and on

My time in China was very short, less than a day.

But it was still a very interesting experience.

I didn’t plan to visit China at all, just that my flight was through Shanghai and involved a 14-hour lay-over. 

The lady checking me in for my China Eastern flight to Shanghai checks for about 5 minutes that I don’t need a visa for China as I’m there for less than 24-hours.

Eventually she’s able to find the country code for Ireland on the computer and confirms that I don’t need a visa. 

The preflight instructional video comes on, the sound is atrocious, is this what to expect from China?, glossy but poor quality.

The same TV monitor, once the video is finished, shows feed from a camera that is on the fin of the plane, it looks particularly freaky.

The inflight magazine provides me hours of entertainment.

It has 200 pages (more than the number of rooms in Aaron Spelling’s LA mansion) of adverts, features and company news.

There’s a report on the big mission to evacuate Chinese nationals from Libya following the outbreak of Civil War.

The article reports that 35,000 Chinese, later in the same article, 7,000 Chinese, were evacuated in the operation.

The magazine is chock full of adverts for cars: Ford, Jeep, Hyundai, SGMW made by GM; ads for all sorts of consumer goods feature.

An ad featuring a larger than life Nicolas Cage catches my eye.

His prominent teeth look more prominent than ever in the advert where he promotes a watch brand.

His ever ready smile is accompanied by dyed jet black hair.

Only the day before I’d seen his star on Hollywood Boulevard. Is Nicolas Cage well known in China I wonder.

The magazine reports that the airline has been given a credit line of 50 Billion Renminbi from the National Development Bank.

It also reports that the airline is recruiting 500 cabin crew staff.

Age, height and appearance all form the hiring criteria.

Successful applicants will possess a “‘customer first” mentality’.

The in-flight movies all seem out of place and odd: Cyrus, a Lindsay Lohan movie and a home produced one featuring profligate Chinese, maybe it’s from Hong Kong I don’t know but it featured a wedding planning company and a tycoon paying millions for his son’s wedding. All the while the sound quality is scratchy.

Later they show a feature on British royal weddings on account of the upcoming wedding of Prince William.

My fellow passengers are not entirely disinterested in the Royal wedding feature. 

Before long we’ve crossed the International Date Line and it’s 02nd April already, only 2,254 more miles and 5 hours to Shanghai.

Before landing we’re given the opportunity to cure our tiredness and participate in 'Sunshine Calisthenics’.

At passport control I’m asked where I’m staying for the night.

My onward flight to Japan the next day is checked.

My passport is stamped. What to do?

I had wildly imagined that I’d be able to put my bags in a locker and check out Shanghai a bit.

The night has come, it’s about 8pm, I’m tired from the 14-hour flight on which I didn’t sleep and now in a different time zone having crossed the Pacific I want sleep.

I change some money still pondering my options.

I walk past a couple of hotel desks that are set up inside the airport.

People at the desks are calling me over.

I look over at the guy calling me.

His hotel desk has 5 stars on it, so I walk on.

A lady runs after me, her desk only has 3 or 4 stars on it: 'I have a hotel for you, what’s your budget?’

She gets angry when I don’t agree with the first choice she offers me, or the second one, she obviously doesn’t have a 'customer first mentality’.

I go with the third one she offers me for 230 Renminbi, including transport to the hotel and collection for my flight the following day.

She tells me that the Maglev train from the airport to the city finishes up at 21.30 and that a taxi from the city to my hotel would take an hour, that settles it, I’m not going to get to see Shanghai this time.

I’m guided to a bus to bring me to my hotel. The driver is overly keen on unnecessary overtaking, but I get to my hotel in one piece.

I watch some TV in my room.

There’s a programme where a host explains the drinks of the world, USA = Budweiser, Canada = Moosehead, Ireland = Baileys.

Another programme deals with military history, bizzarely The Raid on Entebbe.

They feature original footage of the raid and contemporary footage in addition to snippets of a movie featuring Charles Bronsan which was made about the raid.

Then they cut to the studio where two guys are discussing it, one is wearing a flight suit, the other a leather bomber jacket.

Pictures of a fighter plane and an army in silhouette form the set backdrop. 

Another channel (in English this time) is reporting financial and economic news.

The Mayor of a city called Changsha is being interviewed. He says that they’re investing massively in education, they have half a million students in 37 universities in the city.

I’d never even heard of Changsha before. They go on to discuss the 'Lewis Turning Point’. I’d never heard of that either. TV in China is an education in itself. 

Another programme deals the prices of graveyard plots, they're skyrocketing and there is attendant property speculation. Modern China is turning out to be an education and a surprise.

I go for a walk, there’s nothing much going on in my anonymous suburb of Shanghai.

I go back to my hotel and watch some more TV.

On International Autism Day a programme interviews a mother whose child has autism.

She cries when she says that her child could only say 'mother’ at the age of four. I guess the 'one child policy’ has many facets. 

My bus collects me the following morning at 09.00 to bring me to the airport.

I’ve misread my flight details, my flight was at 09.30. I’m arriving at the airport in time to see it leave.

They’re able to put me on a later flight, no problems, no extra charge. 

In the airport the luggage trollies have the name of an international advertising agency on them, there are ads for cosmetics companies and fashion brands on the walls of the departure lounge.

The passport control lady who stamps my passport out of China has a customer satisfaction keypad on her desk for travellers to rate her performance from satisfied and very satisfied right to the other end of the scale. 

A bus drives us past endless parked planes to what seems like the end of the airport to our waiting China Eastern airplane.

I’m leaving 'Communist’ China, bound for the Empire of Japan.

[theretirementstory]

Greetings from a blustery and rainy Bar-sur-Aube, where the temperature is currently 12c (brrrr). At least yesterday morning was a lot kinder and I took advantage to go into town to take these photographs.

The video call with Bristol friends did not go ahead last week as the man broke his wrist and ended up waiting to be discharged from hospital (not a quick process, I know!) We are aiming to have the call this afternoon.

I went into town on Tuesday, as the photographer was back from his week’s holiday. I explained about the photograph for my UK passport and he took another photo and emailed it to me. I hurried home to start the application process and the photo was perfect, the application easy and all in all took me no time at all to spend £100+ quid 😩. I managed to post off my old passport on Thursday, well I took it to the post office and hopefully it is not still sitting on the shelf!

The books I ordered last week arrived at the end of this week which was very fortunate as I had just finished my last book. I am pleased as I can take a book into hospital with me next week. I am looking to place an order for some more books as I know these will soon be read.

Two of my cousins have had birthdays this week, I sent messages wishing them a Happy Birthday, it’s nice for people to remember your birthday and it doesn’t have to be a card that you receive. They were both pleased that I had remembered and were going to celebrate, one with a meal with family and the other, a meal with friends.

I have had lots of messages from friends and relatives in the UK plus French friends have been in touch too. Everyone wanting to know how I am feeling and what is happening now with regard to my treatment. When I was in town yesterday, I met a couple that I know, the lady was an English teacher, although on this occasion she spoke to me only in French. I replied in French (well until I had to add a bit of detail about my treatment), her husband did suggest that she spoke in English but I was pleased that she ignored him and spoke only in French. It is what I need and although my tenses are not really good I do manage to make myself understood. After quite a lovely walk around the town, I went to the bar for a coffee. It was the first time since just before I went into hospital, that I had been in and the proprietor, Christophe, was surprised to see me. He asked if I had been on holiday so I told him no, just to the hospital in Troyes. It was really nice to go in and it felt like my “usual” Saturday visit. I must admit that I did feel exceptionally well, even walking around the town was pleasurable and I wasn’t out of breath or in any sort of pain which made the walk much better.

I was going to wear trousers on Saturday and I took them out of the wardrobe knowing that they would now fit across my stomach. Well I put them on and found them a little loose on the waist but I was not prepared for the sight of myself in the mirror…….. I know I have lost weight and knew that it had gone from my “derrière” but the trousers looked like jodhpurs! They were loose at the front and back, plus the hips were loose by an excessive amount and my legs were like sticks inside the trousers. Well it looks as if they will be heading to the charity shop now.

“The Daddy” was taking his son back to his partners house on Monday, but he decided to go over early and have a “boys only” day. They went on the little train, which my grandson really enjoyed. I think they had been into Peasholm Park to see the ducks, and geese. Plus they spent time in Scarborough just the two of them. What a wonderful treat for a little boy, Daddy’s undivided attention.

Today, “The Daddy” is in Peterborough, he is the volunteer photographer for Scarborough Athletic Football Club so will be taking the photos of the game. Unfortunately, Scarborough were beaten 1-0 so the fans will just be drowning their sorrows I would imagine. There was heavy rain and I do hope that the photographer managed to keep himself and his equipment dry.

“The Trainee Solicitor” has been busy at work but is finding time to relax in the evening. For some people relaxing involves having a drink in their hand but for him and his partner it involves having a book in their hands. They are both avid readers and just enjoy the relaxing time it provides. For myself, my book reading time is when I get into bed, it’s a great way for me to wind down in the evening.

I think we are all hoping for the sun to put in an appearance again, not that I can complain too much as the sun has been out today as well as having a heavy rain storm earlier this afternoon. It is due to be rather windy again this evening but the good weather is due back here next week (probably the days I am in hospital 😂).

Pauline is back in town for one week and is then returning to Dublin. She said she finds it hard to cope with the grey days and the temperatures. It brought to mind why I think I love my life here so much, it has to do with the light. Even today when it’s windy and rainy there is still light and that really does lift your mood.

Anyway, as she walked into my house, one of her first comments was “Wow, you have lost so much weight, I think you must have lost about 20kg”. Thinking back to when I last saw her I think she is spot on with that figure. Well I may have put extra grammes on now as she brought cream slices for us to have with a cup of tea. We talked and talked, the alarm went off for my 7pm tablets and we were still talking. It was so wonderful to catch up with all her news and of course she wanted to hear all about how I was doing. When she left I was in no mood to prepare my evening meal so I just ate a sandwich, watched a bit of news then went off to bed.

Before I go, I have just found this poem which I would like to share with you. “True Friend” by Ashley Campbell

“A friend is like a star that twinkles and glows

Or maybe like the ocean that gently flows.

A friend is like gold that you should treasure

And take care of forever and ever.”

Have a good week until next week 👋.

[accustiv-archived]

@vanishinq sent: 📔 + beau's plan to out the ghost at o2 / accepting

Entry 108 .

The Ghost is Alex Stanwick - Host & Performer at Club Oxygen in Los Angeles. This, I am confident about.

There are a few grey areas regarding exact timings but with a crime ring as extensive as the Ghost’s it’s not unreasonable that certain operations are delegated; Alex is also an alias - it’s very well done, but there’s absolutely nothing real under that name older than 3 years, even his social security number was only generated recently. [NOTE: who created this ID? In the ring or pre-ghost? nothing traces back to them. could be useful.]

My research brought a few names forward that match the timeline of when the Ghost started operating (as far as we know). Had to take a leap of faith that they would be officially missing - found Casper Daniel Reid, Brooklyn NY, reported missing 3 years ago at age 16 following his father’s death. Descriptions match available ID photo for Alex Stanwick. Age is off but if he’s working at Oxygen he would need to be 21 at time of application. (The Ghost is 19? The Ghost is my age? That’s fucked up.)

The Plan: Confront him. I have no idea what’s going to happen to me after I do, but I’ve been looking for him since I left Europe, and I can’t just pretend I haven’t tracked him down because I might end up in trouble. If he kills me for it… well… I suppose that’s just an occupational hazard, and I’ve escaped people like him before. He’s been using an alias for years (unclear whether the persona is different, although, obviously he’s masking his profession), but it suggests decent skills at acting, which in turn suggests increased observational skills and deception detection, which means I have to be very, very careful when I first get there - keeping the alias simple, keep RP accent, comfortable backstory - I’ve gone for investment broker (suggests enough wealth and entitlement to be a customer at Oxygen), but I’m assuming it won’t come up unless they share member’s BG checks with employees - unlikely.

Alex is their star. This was initially a concern [see Entry 102 re: ‘current project investigation’], however one rip deal in Austin got me the $1 mil needed for the correct membership tier to have access to a private room with him; a locked, soundproof, private room. He must be completely confident in his cover because honestly that sounds like a recipe for disaster if his enemies did the same research I did. I checked schedules - he is performing on Saturday, this guarantees his presence, the club provides pre-booking and I’ve done that to ensure I get alone time. I can’t actually sleep with him, that is incredibly stupid, but I do need to figure out what to say.

I’m just going to tell him what I know; I know he’s Casper Reid, and I know he’s the Ghost, I just don’t know which one to lead with. Real name is going to put him on the back foot but NOT out me as a direct threat straight away. Moniker is going to make anything I say afterwards confrontational. I don’t want him to think I’m extorting him with this - it’s important he recognises this as what it truly is. If he’s as smart as people say he is, it should be fairly obvious. [NOTE: If anything, I’m doing him a favour here, I’d want to know if there was a hole in my alias if I was using it for that long.]

Final Thoughts: I need to work out if that Degas job in Paris was an Underwood crossover or a Ghost interaction; still unclear, and I can’t find the case notes anymore ; if Ghost tell him? absolutely no reason he’d remember a job from over a year ago AND no evidence Sov. is known in USA apart from Freddie & I know he’s had no interactions with Ghost ring. Don’t get murdered. Very important.

FOOTNOTES:

Cover: Sebastian Lee ; British passport (Chinese??) ; 22 years old ; investment broker.

Funds required: $1mil for tier entry for private room with “Alex” ; $600 for tux (do NOT tailor), $400 for ID.

Mark: Alex Stanwick , aka Casper Reid , aka The Ghost .

Weapons: No (can’t guarantee getting it in without drawing attention. do not want to make him think it's a confrontation or call security before reveal).

Escape Routes: n/a - if i can’t talk my way into his favour i’ll either die there or when i leave. just got to charm him i suppose - under no circumstances give real name. don’t need another underwood.

Take: n/a ; no monetary value but possible avenues opening if conversation goes the way i want it to.

[thembohux]

Ok now that I’m calm, here’s what happened (and I checked with other people who have gotten passports and this was not normal)

I got to my appointment on time and was told to just wait off to the side. The post office is super busy and they have 3 clerks working.

Another clerk comes from the back and is about to take the next person in line but his coworker says “hey you have a passport appointment” so he just motions vaguely at me to come over.

He’s quiet for most of the appointment but is very clearly annoyed with me. I give him my documents as he asks for them and he snaps at me to pull my mask down while looking at my ID. Quiet again.

He takes the photo I brought and looks at it for a second before asking “so when was this taken?” I tell him it was last week. He sighs at me and keeps putting the packet together. Then he takes all of my documents into the back and comes back with everything, including my birth certificate stapled into the packet.

I tell him that that is the original of my birth certificate because I’m shocked that he stapled it into the packet and folded it the other direction than it had been. He snaps at me again and says “I know what it is.”

At this point, I am starting to cry. I can’t help it. I’m frustrated and I don’t know WHY this USPS employee who is normally super nice is being so rude to me. And I can tell he’s just getting more and more annoyed with me as time passes.

He explains the timelines to me and says I’ll receive my documents back separately.

We pay and leave.

The second I’m out the door, I start sobbing. When I get in the car, it’s worse. I start hyperventilating and gagging because I can’t catch my breath.

I text my friend about it and they assure me that it is not normal for the experience to go that way and that they’ve never seen the employee staple/otherwise damage a birth certificate for a passport application.

I was super excited to travel and have the ability to leave the US but now I’m just anxious and upset from the whole situation

I’m going to get my passport today wish me luck everyone

[sofasoap]

Forget me not.

Pairing: König x  f!Reader ( aka Mini MacTavish )

Summary: The bad news you never want to hear, and more. Takes place after Interlude two : Everyone deserves happiness.

Warning: Mature theme. TRIGGER WARNING: gun violence,blood and gore and death.  English isn’t my first language. You are responsible for your own media consumption.

A/N : Character of Mini MacTavish is from @saltofmercury fic “ “The Favorite MacTavish” ” which she graciously let me borrow and write bit more expanded universe. Please go read her wonderful story to get bit of background,

“masterlist” for more prequel to this Mini MacTavish expanded verse.

Staring at the screen, drumming your fingers on the desk. You can't seem to concentrate. You been typing the same sentence for the last thirty minute and making no progress at all. Decided to give up on doing your clinical reports, you dragged yourself into the staff room to make yourself a cup of tea. You been feeling very antsy all day, it's a bad sign. Everytime you feel very fidgety nothing good came out from it. Last time it was Johnny declared MIA , your poor Ma cried her heart out until him and Ghost was found a month later, alive but worse for wear.

Your thought gone back to the boys again. It has been seven weeks since they left for their mission. There had been zero contact from them, but you weren't surprised. There have been times they will be silent for weeks until just before they return home. But this time it's different. Senses are tingling. Mindlessly stirring your cup, you saw the HR manager walking by. Doing a double take when they saw you in the staff room, " Oh Mini, I was on my way to find you. Your emergency leave application has been approved." They informed you. You frowned. What leave? You weren't planning any holiday until Christmas. Your phone went off at the same time. Unknown number. You answered it after hesitating for a split second, " Hello MacTavish here." " ... Mini." The deep distinctive Manchester accent. "... Simon?" " Go home now, pack your bag. Soap will be waiting for you in one hour. Don't forget your passport." and he hung up immediately. " Wait wh... UGh". Sculling down your tea, you rush towards the locker room and grabbed your bag, not bothering to get changed you drove home as fast as you can. Throwing all the necessary stuff into the duffle bag, you send Emma a text explaining your haste departure, you heard a car pulling up in front of your flat. Seeing your brother's face , you hurryingly lock the door and throw your bag into the boot. Giving Johnny a quick kiss on the face, you bombard him with questions while he drive off towards the airport. "Johnny, what the hell is going on?, Is that a bruise on your face??? Ah Jesus did you get shot as well??!!" You reach out trying to touch him, he swat your hands away. " Ah I'm fine stop fussing. We going on next flight to Germany." He didn't elaborate further. " Who put my leaves in?" " Price managed to pull few strings. Your boss wasn't too overly impressed but a word from the high up shut them up pretty quick." You sunk back into the seat. You doubt you will get anymore answer out from him until reaching the destination. The rest of your trip was spent mostly in silence. You can see Johnny is trying to hide something. He is never good at holding secrets from you. Always can tell by his body language.

Gaz was there to pick you two up from the airport. He tries to make little chit chat with you during the car ride to... somewhere? This got you confused even more. Aren't the boys on a long term mission? " Where is Simon and Uncle Price?" "At the hospital." Soap interjected. " OH Gosh something happened to them?" " No they are fine. Don't you worry."

" Why isn't anyone telling me anything????" Gaz pulled into what looks like military hospital car park, everyone got off and he gave you a sympathetic look. As you walk further into the hospital wing, you starting to put two and two together. Johnny is here, Gaz is here, Simon and Price is fine... so that leaves... König. " Where is König?" Both Gaz and Soap stop on their track. They look at each other. Soap is getting agitated, he couldn't tell his sister the truth of this visit. He couldn't. He felt guilty. He felt responsible for what happened. " Mini... Look.." " MINI." As Gaz open his mouth to explain. Ghost appeared. You ran towards your adopted big brother and pull him into a tight hug. He return your hug and proceed to lead the group to one of the private ward, tucked away in the deepest part of the hospital. Putting his hand on the door knob, pausing for a moment, before opening it. You see Price sitting on the chair in the corner who gave you a wave as soon as he saw you, and you turn your attention to the person currently lying on the hospital bed, with all the tubes and machine attached. It's your big teddy bear, the love of your life. König. Your mind goes blank, body started to shake. Soap came up beside you and pull you in with one arm. " He's been in coma for about a week or so now. Doctor said he is in critical but stable condition. I am sorry Mini... It... It was my fault.. I should have been more aware .. " " Don't fully take the blame Johnny." Ghost sighed. " We weren't too sure what was going to happen." He patted your head. It's something he started doing lately to comfort you. " You shouldn't even be here really. Someone owed Price a huge favour, so we manage to get you here without problem." You glance at Price with gratitude. The boys left you alone with some privacy while four of them have left the hospital for military related business, but promise you one of them will take turn to stay with you during the time of your stay. You put your bag in the corner of the room, out of the way and pulled a chair in so you can sit closer to him. He look so pale. There are still some bruises on the side of his face where he took some sort of hit. Lifting your hand you run your fingers through his hair, gently down his face. Tears starting to drop. Leaning your head on his big hand, the gentle hand you love so much and cried yourself to sleep. The boys were true to their words, They take turn in shifts to stay with you. Gaz usually try to have little chit chat with you, Johnny and you usually bickers about stuff, Both you and Price sits there silently, him going through his mission files and reports, while you do some administration work on your laptop. Simon just sit there and read books. It's not until one morning about a week into your visit, Gaz has ducked out and grabbed some coffee for both of you, you notice his hand twitched a little, and he is stirred awake. Blinking his eyes few times, getting use to the bright light, he slowly turned his head. He sense your presence. His eyes met yours with a piercing look, you sense something wasn't quite right. There was no love, let alone recognition in his stare. You shrink back a little, feeling like a prey being assessed by its hunter. The next three words that came out from his mouth next made your heart shattered. " WHO are you."

[lucelinguist]

Hi, I love your blog! Do you have any advice on moving to France? I'm hoping to move next year<3

Thanks for the love!! 💜

Yes, I have lots of advice! I am going to assume you are going to be going as a student, but if not I'll include some more general things. There will be too much to write in one post but if you have any specific questions do feel free to send me an ask.

If you aren't offered CROUS accommodation or you aren't a student, rent through an agency or private company to avoid scams! I have found rental scams to be really prevalent in France and you have to be really careful.

If you don't have a french guarantor, sign up for VISALE as most people require to have a french guarantor if you are renting.

If you're a student, sign up for CAF asap! This is basically money from the government to supplement your rent. They get a lot of applications at the start of the academic year so it can take a couple months to receive your money.

Sign up for Carte Vitale! This will save you so much money on things related to health and medicine.

Doctolib app will enable you to book doctors appointments in your area. You can find specialists, book covid tests, find people who speak your native language, and even book online appointments. I know health is a really scary thing when you're abroad, especially booking doctor's appointments, and this application saved me from a lot of anxiety.

French pharmacies are great! They usually have something available for most minor problems you may have and the medicine is actually quite affordable.

If you're in a city with a travel subscription card, BUY ONE! It will save you so much money.

Download the metro app for your city (if it has one). It is much more sufficient than google maps and will show you the best mode of public transport to take.

Travel around France or even the rest of Europe. It's so cheap to travel around and see new places and a great experience.

If you receive paperwork, fill it out as soon as you receive it. French bureaucracy is a mess! So the less time you take to get things done the quicker of a process it will be for you.

Keep passport photos of yourself in your wallet/purse!!! A lot of paperwork will require you to give them a photo of you.

Save copies of your important documents on all your devices. You're going to need a lot of different forms for different services. Like I said... French bureaucracy...

Use leboncoin to buy secondhand items for when you first move in and even to sell your unwanted items when you move out. This is a great platform to use and really helped me when I moved out of my apartment as I couldn't take certain household items on the plane for me. It also meant I could earn a bit of cash.

Download the Covid app for France. You are going to need to show proof of vaccination for most things you want to do in France. You'll also be required to have evidence of having a booster jab soon.

In terms of speaking French:

French people speak quite fast so don't be afraid to ask them to repeat themselves or slow down

Try to speak the language and they will appreciate the effort. I wouldn't feel offended if they switch to English either as they just want to make you feel more comfortable,

Also if you get stuck- feel no shame in using a translator to try and communicate. What matters most is that you try your best to learn the language and you will certainly find yourself improving very quickly.

There are Facebook groups or even the app meetup designed to help you meet people for language exchange so I would highly recommend that. Check out your university services to see if they offer a language exchange program, my university's program was called MINERVE.

Like I said, I am sorry if this post is too geared at students. But if you have any questions about living in France or being a student in France, please put a question in my ask box (anon is okay too)! I would love to help.

[ushidoux]

Power Struggle - Ushijima x Reader

Summary: You’re set up on a blind date with a man who might just be your match.  (~5.1k words)

Warnings: fem pronouns, fem!reader, blind date, exhibitionism, public sex

A/N: Part of @cherrytenko​’s CEO collab! Surprisingly this is possibly the longest fic I’ve written as a oneshot and it’s a little softer than I expected it to be but please enjoy!

---

It’s about half past 6pm when you add the final touch to your makeup, a smear of matte lipstick (Rouge Hermes #48, to be exact), to your lips.

It’s not often that you’re able to leave work early but your mother and father had called you from overseas in the late afternoon, interrupting their own third honeymoon, to remind you of your final meeting for the day - 

A date.

“I know you hate these things, but just go! You might like what you see,” your mother insisted over video chat, her voice muffled by the sound of wind whipping past her as she and your father cruised along on a shaky speedboat they’d purchased just for the day. You weren’t completely sure where they were, only vaguely aware that they were somewhere around Jeju Island, and not exactly sure why they still had phone service, but you weren’t going to ask too many questions.

“No obligation!” Your father adds, just out of view and yelling slightly. 

Sure, never any obligations.

As you smack your lips in the mirror to smooth out the lip color, giving yourself a brief once-over to decide whether or not you feel the need to adjust your hair or if you will wear falsies or not, you frown ever so slightly, then let out a sigh.

You hate this. 

This is the third “meeting” they’ve arranged for you this month, and they’d been at this for almost six months overall by now. This search for a ‘suitable husband’ was getting stale -  not to mention, time-consuming - and you weren’t sure you would be willing to appease your parents any longer.

In fact, you weren’t exactly sure you were interested in a partner anymore. The clock would hit thirty any moment now, and the math of falling in love, getting married, having kids, and still heading a successful company no longer seemed to be adding up. You didn’t know how exactly to tell your sweet parents who were the picture of domestic bliss that they’d probably have to give up on the idea of grandchildren, and consider raising puppies instead.

Regardless, for the time being, you could still bother to meet this stranger for dinner.

There’s a clasp seal envelope atop your dresser - a portfolio that had been left on your desk by your father’s assistant at the beginning of the week - that still seems entirely too formal for the process. This is matchmaking, not a job application, was the first thought that came to mind once you realized the envelope held a set of photos, a resume and an admittedly curt but formally written statement reminiscent of a cover letter.

Ushijima Wakatoshi, the signature at the bottom of the letter read in an extremely neat script. He must be particularly organized and detail-oriented.

There were two pictures, one that looked almost like a passport photo and the other much more relaxed, where he was dressed casually in a t-shirt and pressed jeans, standing with his arms crossed beside a redheaded man whose smile was wide and infectious, his arm around his neck. You wondered if he picked those photos himself. 

You’d perused the first photo much more carefully because you could see more of his face. He’s quite handsome, you’d admitted, the faintest warmth in your cheeks, but he seemed awfully uptight. For one, the look on his face was very neutral, not bothering to smile. He was clean shaven and his hair was close cropped at the edges, a woody brown that paired well with serious olive eyes. You wondered if he ever laughed out loud, and what he looked like when he did.

The taxi driver is prompt and waiting outside of the high-rise in which you live by the time you make your way down the elevator. The click of your heels is loud on the tile as you make your way past the revolving doors. As you slip into the back of the car, you wonder if you’re dressed too professionally. You may have forgone the women’s pantsuit, but you’re still wearing a feminine pantsuit-esque ensemble in a creamy beige - pink would have seemed too ditzy, white would have seemed a bit too innocent (not to mention risky) and yellow too juvenile.

You’re not sure why you’re thinking so hard about this, but really years of paying attention to your appearance in public, not being taken seriously because you’re pretty and young and your personality is more bubbly than bossy puts you on your guard, especially when it comes to first impressions.

The location appears to be an upscale sushi restaurant, the type that you have to call ahead for months to get a reservation unless you have some kind of special arrangement with the owner. A staff member checks you in and brings you to the back to a private room, and as you pass through the dimly lit hallway, clutching your purse a little too securely, a scene from a yakuza movie comes to mind.

“Your room, madam,” the young man nods and motions you to enter a room that is brightly lit enough that it is almost blinding, large and round as though you were in a fishbowl yourself. You look up and notice that even the ceiling is curved. Elaborate paintings hang off the wall. 

He’s not here.

You glance at the attendant and he raises his eyebrows as though he is expecting you to say something. You must look surprised, and continue to look so as you remove your shoes to sit at one of the thin mattresses set before the low table.

You wish you’d worn stockings perhaps, tucking your bare feet beneath you in a casual seiza position. You can’t recall the last time you’ve been this traditional/formal, and the thought of a man you barely know already knowing what your feet look like bare bothers you just a bit. 

The attendant pours water and then tea for two wordlessly and slips out of the room. 

Your heart pounds once you’re finally alone. Why is this so intense? 

You fidget nervously with the thin silver necklace you are wearing, looking for a menu. There is none so far. Just square plates, both chopsticks and forks (odd for sushi, you think), and a steaming cup of tea set right next to a sweltering crystal glass of ice cold water. Opposites.

For a fleeting moment, you actually wonder for once if this man will like you. 

“My apologies, Ms. ___.”

You’re startled by a rich voice, a tiny gasp revealing that you’re more spooked than you realize, and your eyes shift towards the direction of the sound to see what looks like your date finally arriving in a hurry. 

You instinctively readjust yourself onto your knees to look formal, then realize you should probably stand instead, but before you can get up he waves you to sit back down, now settling down himself across from you.

“I had intended to arrive early but quite a few things happened at the company to make that unfeasible.”

He said this while removing a suit jacket in a way that was in no way intended to be sexy, not at all, then let out what sounded like a single, semi-nervous chuckle. 

Wordlessly, you replied with a nod, transfixed as you compared photography to reality. The photos didn’t do him justice, not at all. The suit jacket was picked up quickly by a waiter who you had forgotten was still in the room.

Ushijima extended an arm to you across the table, intending to shake your hand.

“Did you wait long?” He asks as you shakily take his hand for a handshake that consumes your hand almost entirely in his large one.

You shake your head, then embarrassed when you realize you aren’t using your voice, and add, “No, I didn’t wait long...”

“Are you hungry?” He replies, quickly. Your instinct is to say no, no you didn’t need anything, especially not from him, but you are pretty sure your stomach would growl loudly any minute now, and you’d only look like a fool. 

Ushijima glances at the waiter, who finally hands the two of you menus.

“Please order anything you like.”

You look down, swallowing hard again, and for a moment it is difficult to focus on the unnecessarily elaborate handwriting on the menu.

Something about him already grates on your nerves and you couldn’t exactly pinpoint what. You could forgive people for being late, and you were used to people being a little forward, but something about the way he was both familiar and unfamiliar in the way he spoke to you seemed to veer into patronizing behavior. 

Why wasn’t he nervous? Every man you’d sat across from in the past half a year had just a little waver in their voice when they spoke to you at some point, even those who had started off boasting their fancy degrees and their villas and their large bank accounts. 

But he sits perfectly still, all broad shoulders, gently wafting cologne, and a gaze that is both disconcerting and impartial, so you don’t know what to think. 

When you look up from the menu to him, his eyes are still heavily focused on you, and you can’t really fault him. There’s nothing else to look at in this room, after all.

You take this opportunity to tease him. No man has ever intimidated you before and this one is no different.

“Are you going to order anything? I barely saw you look at the menu.” Your voice is light and coquettish and it implies, all you’re doing is staring at me.

“I already know my order. I’ve been here enough times,” he replies, immune to the playfulness in your voice. You watch him roll up his sleeves as he answers, and take note of the shape of his hands as he takes a sip of tea.

Maybe you’re the one staring.

“Would you like a recommendation?” He offers as he sets the cup down. 

You shake your head no, and wonder again why you’re making gestures instead of talking. He smiles as though he can read your mind.

Once the waiter takes your orders and leaves the room, you’re left in silence, facing your would-be partner. It’s a stalemate of sorts and you lose, asking the first personal question.

But you ask it semi-clinically, refusing to lose the upper hand. You’re not sure why there’s an upper hand, but there is, and it will be yours.

“I read a little about your company before arriving. You gave me quite a few details, which I appreciated,” you state, turning your head to the side politely to take a sip of tea yourself. “You’ve done very well for yourself as CEO,” you add.

His eyes don’t crinkle from the flattery. “My employees do great work at all levels so it’s only natural that there would be positive growth,” he replies matter-of-factly.

You smile politely, but this answer doesn’t give you very much information about him. He’s shifting the success away from him, you remark, however he accepts the compliment as though expected. Is this genuine humility or arrogance?

You lean very slightly forward, just enough to see if he’ll take the opportunity to glance down your blouse, as other suitors have invariably done. He doesn’t, and you proceed to ask the next question.

“What do you do outside of work?”

His eyebrows raise, and you wonder if it’s because he realizes you are pretending you didn’t read that section on his application, but he answers anyway.

“I don’t have very much free time, as you are probably aware, but I garden and paint. And of course, I like to keep fit through team sports.”

A quick look at him makes that last part quite clear. You clear your throat slightly and then it is silent again. It’s not exactly an uncomfortable silence, but it’s not comfortable either.

Just as you wonder why he isn’t asking you any questions, he suddenly speaks up.

“Pardon me if this sounds inappropriate, but you’re beautiful. Why would you need a matchmaking service?”

You’re taken aback, and while your brain is scrambling for understanding of what his intentions are, he adjusts his sitting position so that he’s cross-legged with both hands on his knees and lets out a sigh before continuing.

“You’re also accomplished and clearly articulate. I don’t imagine you’d have trouble finding a partner through more organic means.”

It seems like there are a million butterflies that suddenly inhabit the small space in the pit of your stomach. Again, you’re at a loss for words, something that is rare for someone as opinionated and cordially fierce as you.

Should you be offended? It’s almost as though he’s asking what’s wrong with you?

He asks frankly, “Why a blind date?”

You want to ask him the same question, but you hear the waiter return and you fall silent, letting the butterflies in your stomach die down.

---

“I-is this the first time - ah - you’ve done this?”

You’re no longer laid out on the tatami like you were just an hour earlier, Ushijima nibbling on your lower lip and your collarbones instead of the overpriced, high-quality fish that sat atop your table, but now laid under him, spread eagle save for the hands you use to hold on to his shoulders as he slowly and deliberately thrusts inside you. 

Your voice is breathy and catches in your throat every time he moves, but you have to know. How often has he ended up like this?

The heat that fills your whole body now isn’t just from the shame of letting a stranger fondle your body in an upscale restaurant, it’s because Ushijima somehow knows exactly where and how to touch you, as though he’s always known. His fingers have traveled your body like a hiker on a well-beaten path, from the softness behind your earlobes to your squishy center and back, and now have settled into a hold that is firm yet gentle on your hips. 

When he replies “no” with immense honesty, his mouth sinks into the crook of your neck and he goes just deep enough that you don’t have time to factor this new information into your impression of him.

So instead you savor the thickness that fills you and the strength that holds you close, the soft grunts that fill your ears before they get drowned out by your equally loud whimpers and moans.

---

You don’t spend the night, partially out of shame that Ushijima bedded you so quickly and partially because you have a full schedule for the next morning. The parting of ways is brief and awkward and you seem to feel it more acutely than he does.

“I enjoyed our time, Miss ___,” he offers. You’ve dressed up faster than he has so you find yourself unwittingly ogling at the expanse of his sculpted chest and the flex of his muscles as he redresses. You’re almost sad to see him cover up.

You nod and walk out of the room, trying your best to hide the fact that your legs feel far too wobbly to be walking on these heels.

---

“Miss ____?”

Your eyes widen as you realize you’ve been daydreaming through a meeting with the board of trustees and now the wrinkled old men who hated the fact that your father thrust you into leadership you “didn’t deserve” are staring at you with disgruntled expressions.

“Oh, um,” you think quickly, recalling where the presentation left off and glancing quickly at the notes you’d jotted down on a notepad before wondering why Ushijima hadn’t called or texted since you met two weeks ago.

“Um?” The most senior of the group repeats, and your stomach turns for a moment before you steel yourself. He bares his teeth every time he’s displeased with you and you get the impression of an ancient and disgruntled wolf. 

You clear your throat loudly, and settle back in your chair, crossing your legs and your arms over your chest.

“I have some disagreements with the current approach, but I’ll start with the pertinent positives,” you start.

---

“Was the sex at least good?”

Your best friend from high school glances at you briefly, as you face forward on the Peloton you are riding side by side with her. She’s much less out of shape than you are given that she also is your personal trainer and thus rides hers effortlessly, taking some time to wait for you to respond.

You begrudgingly say yes.

“Wow, for once someone dropped you before you could drop them!” She teases in a sing-song voice. You would slap her on the shoulder if she was close enough and if you weren’t out of breath. It stings just a little bit that you’ve heard nothing from him nor the matchmaking company and don’t have a good response to tell your parents aside from I guess we didn’t click.

“He’s missing out, though.”

“Yeah, no shit,” you huff, and cycle faster. No hard feelings.

---

Scratch that, there were absolutely going to be hard feelings now that he was not just fucking with you but also with your livelihood.

Admittedly, it was strange that despite the fact that your companies had never crossed paths until now despite working in the same consumer domain but this was unacceptable.

You’d opened an email that had just slipped into your peripheral vision as you worked on reviewing a couple of interns’ executive summaries, only to find that Ushijima might have just royally fucked you over.

A curt email from a crucial business partner read,

We apologize but we’ve decided to move forward with Ushijima Industries instead. I understand that this is last minute, but we believe that it will be mutually beneficial to discontinue our relationship at this point in time.

Your blood boiled. What the fuck was this?

Your phone rang, one of your team leaders calling immediately and likely looking at the email at the same time you were. He apologized profusely.

“What happened?”

“It seems like they just showed up and offered twice as much as we offered them last minute.”

This bastard. Then in a moment of horror, you wondered if this was your fault, if you had blabbed a little while slightly tipsy off of sake, and revealed that you had this acquisition in the works.

Voice smaller now, you asked, “So we can’t do anything to woo them back?”

“No, I don’t think so. I just have to make sure our other deal doesn’t fall through,” the slightly frantic man answered, the sounds of keyboard keys clicking rapidly heard in the background of the call. 

“Okay, thank you for your hard work,” you stated. “I’ll see what I can do,” you replied with a click. 

Maybe calling someone who’d ghosted you as you drove home, fuming and irritated, wasn’t the best idea, but you needed to confront him somehow. The idea of being bested in more ways than one was too much to bear.

The phone rang once, twice, then three times, and you were getting angrier with every tone through the car speaker. You hung up in frustration.

How embarrassing.

You made it home still irritated, indulging yourself in a relaxing bath to quell your anger. By the time you had soaked for close to an hour, you were mad at yourself for reacting impulsively and now having your number in his phone as a missed call… if he recognized it anyway.

It turns out he did.

“Ms. ___, did you call me earlier? I wasn’t able to make it to the phone in time.”

His voice was even lower on the phone, a slightly gravelly quality making you wonder if he’d actually been napping or just had a smoke. You couldn’t imagine him doing either of these things.

“What kind of game are you playing, Mr. Ushijima?”

There was a bit of hesitation on the phone, and you let out a sardonic laugh once he replied, as expected, “What?”

“How did you know about that deal other than what I told you?”

He paused again, and you too, stood still, a towel wrapped around your still dripping body.

“I assure you, I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he then said, carefully. “I, uh… assume you were calling about something else.”

You grit your teeth. What the fuck else? The fact that he sounded genuinely confused only served to aggravate you further.

“Did you or did you not use the information I gave you to intercept my deal with MNY?”

Finally the lightbulb went on.

“Oh, that was you. Hm.”

If you’d been talking in person, you probably would have slapped him at this point. Or at least considered it.

“I didn’t know you were our competitor in that aspect. I… probably would have reconsidered if I had known.”

“Excuse me?”

That tone of over-familiarity, patronizing… the care when you’re not supposed to care was back and you realized you regretted this phone call. 

“How would it be any different? Are you implying that you’d let me win?”

“No, of course not, I…” He trailed off. “Would you like to come over to my apartment and talk? I can give you my address, I would rather talk in person.”

Why? So I can get over there and end up fucking you again?

“I respectfully decline,” you answered curtly, and hung up, tossing your phone onto your bed and letting out an aggravated sigh. 

---

The next morning, you leave an early executive meeting only to find that your office had been overrun with flowers between the hours of 7 to 8 am.

There are yellow roses, stating admiration, spilling out of an oversized bouquet on your desk and a separate bouquet of light red carnations and white camellias that imply that he finds you ‘adorable’. A white card is placed in the yellow bouquet, and on it is written Ushijima’s neat script - you realize it’s from him before you even finish reading the note.

I would like to see you again. Please accept my call around 6 pm.

Respectfully, 

Ushijima Wakatoshi

Your hands hover over the wastebasket in your room with the flowers in your arms, but instead you sigh, and stuff them behind you on your shelf. At least you won’t have to see them while you work, but they’re pretty. They’re clearly bought from a floral shop, but you recall that he had said he gardened in his free time.

Ushijima calls promptly at 6 pm and you let it ring twice before deciding to block his number just as he’s calling. Something about the action is satisfying. 

You can’t be won over with a couple of flowers and kind words. Women aren’t as easily swayed as he may think.

---

It’s another Friday, and surprisingly you haven’t been contacted for a blind date, whether it’s by your parents or the matchmaking service they’ve subscribed you to.

Maybe they’d gotten the message after you’d been ghosted that you were tired of this game. Maybe they were giving you a break. Maybe they’d run out of potential suitors. You were surprised, but not upset.

Ushijima had truly gotten under your skin.

After blocking his call, there were no more attempts at contact for the rest of the week. The only thing left to consider was that if you ever crossed paths in your careers, you would pay him back for snatching your investor. 

And snatching your dignity in the process.

It was about 4 pm and most of the employees were wrapping up their tasks for the day. You usually aimed to have everyone out by 5, especially on Friday so this was boding well. 

“Hey, Madam President, are you okay with an add-on?” You hear your secretary call from outside your door.

“Oh, I mean, I guess but-”

She’s already letting Ushijima through the door.

You smile sweetly, maintaining professional behavior as best you can, while your secretary leads him to an armchair across from you, up until she exits, your expression souring the moment she closes the door.

“Mr. Ushijima, what are you doing in my office?”

He’s settled into the chair so comfortably that it feels as though you’re in his office, not your own. He’s dressed more casually than he was at the restaurant, no suit jacket, just a brown V-neck sweater over a dress shirt that almost seems too tight and a pair of chinos. He’s also wearing a pair of glasses, which is new. 

You hate that he looks good.

“Apologizing and requesting your company.”

He looks at you sincerely, his hands clasped together in his lap. You narrow your eyes.

“Please leave.”

He actually frowns, and the small action actually surprises you. 

“Do you actually want me to leave or are you still upset about the investor? Because if it’s that, we can make an arrangement-”

“No, I’m upset because you did that after not following up after our one night stand!” You finally blurt out, then bite your lip realizing you might have said too much.

“I… got busy.”

“Busy screwing me over?” You quip.

He runs a hand through his hair, a nervous gesture.

“I didn’t call because I thought you didn’t like me.”

You’re a little stunned by this reply, then decide you don’t believe him. What was there not to like? At least at that point he hadn’t done anything wrong.

“Why would you think that?”

His hands leave his hair again and rest on his knees. You notice it seems like a default position for him. 

“I’ve been referred to as ‘stiff’. It’s great at work but not great for relationships.”

Ushijima’s brutal honesty is again sending you for a loop. You raise an eyebrow, bidding him to continue. Your arms uncross and you rest your elbows on the table.

“So…?”

“So usually by the time I’ve had sex with someone, it’s all they’re after. And since you didn’t call, I assumed even the sex wasn’t good.”

You unwittingly burst into laughter. Here was this successful, attractive man with a perfect pedigree who was insecure about how good he was in bed?

His eyebrows furrow, and you recollect yourself, realizing that this is a bit cruel.

“You could have sent a text,” you murmur.

“I’m bad at starting conversations.”

You stifle another laugh. “So you just don’t?” You tease. It’s gently mocking but mostly incredulous. It seems that he’s the opposite of the confident man he appears to be.

“That’s why I got excited when you called but then you were upset.”

You purse your lips.

“I promise I didn’t intend to put you in a bad situation,” Ushijima insists.

You sigh, then offer him a small smile. “Are you normally this persistent?”

He glances at the flowers that are only partially hidden from view, which makes your face warm up bashfully, and then looks right back at you.

“No. I just like you.”

Again with the directness, a confidence that is effortless, even when he’s not confident at all.

You don’t want to melt but you do. So instead you rise and clear your desk, stuffing a few items into your handbag as you prepare to leave. He watches, unsure of what you’re up to, sitting still as you walk around towards him and place your hand lightly on his shoulder.

Your body faces the door, but you turn to the side to look at him and grin.

“I’m done with work for today. Take me out.”

---

A couple months later...

“Fuck, you’re - ah - they’re gonna know, I-” Your voice morphs into a mewl instead once his ring finger reaches just the right spot; you’re squirming as much as possible under his touch but he has you laid back on your work desk with both ankles rested on his shoulders and his weight leaning onto you to essentially keep you in place.

“Move your hands,” Ushijima whispers in a hushed tone, leaning in to kiss between your breasts as he readjusts your legs atop him. His pants are down and his cock is already up and ready, the base and swollen balls rubbing against your wet cunt that you are desperately trying to protect from his intrusion. You know there’s absolutely no way you’ll stay quiet when he’s pounding the shit out of you, he likes it entirely too rough, and the walls are thin. You don’t listen, continuing to reach for his hands to swat them away from you.

There’s a part of you that is almost certain that at the very least your secretary knows that every time Ushijima comes for a ‘meeting’, it really is just to fuck the shit out of you before you leave together for the evening, or to relax you right before you once again have to defend your dad’s establishment of you as Company President.

This isn’t a good look.

“I-I can’t…” you whine.

“You can,” he assures you.

He gently kisses your face before prying your hands out of the way and keeping them pinned up against you with one hand and guiding his trajectory with the other before sinking inside of you. You moan at the breach of your privates and he quickly presses his lips to yours to swallow the sound.

Once he’s bottomed out, he rolls his hips, and soon you start to see white once you climax, clenching and cumming around him.

“T-Toshi!” You moan his name, and he clasps a large hand around your mouth before continuing, picking up the pace as he fucks you through your orgasm. He can’t deny that he likes the fact that you’re noisy, that the fact that the heavy desk he’s fucking you against is making a squeaky noise that suggests he’s really putting some force behind these strokes, and that if anyone could see the two of you now, it could be an issue for both of your corporations. Misconduct, they would call it.

He doesn’t care and while you act like you do, you don’t really care either. 

When he lets go of your wrists to use the edge of the desk as leverage and tilts backwards, you scream in pleasure, a terribly obvious sound, and it’s enough to have him tip over and spill into you with a groan. He collapses onto you and the two of you almost slip onto the floor, but don’t; you wrap your arms around him. 

Your hair is disheveled and so is his, and your legs are sticky with sweat and cum. You sigh, letting him soften inside you and stroke his hair.

“You’re getting me in trouble,” you murmur, and he lets out a breathy laugh.

“We don’t really have to answer to anyone, do we?” He replies with a smirk, and pecks you one more time on the lips.

He’s right - only you two are a match for each other.

[ambarlucia]

Good morning MR. President,

My name is Ambar Lucia Dominguez LEON DIAZ INOA Nena es mi mama 11/03/1989 US passport 555032385 Nena dormia en mi apt con Tatiana dark skin y duramos 6 Anos de relationship. I contacted you around 4-5 months ago in regards the stalker/ harraser and his group. I am still a victim of bullying, identity theft, assault, bank fraud, and more. No doI got8 an email response in July to my JetBlue email but since that day July 05/2022 the harraser Steve and another supervisor Marilyn sent me to the hospital when they noticed on the email I said something about their ADA fraud. I went a year to a mental health institution in DR and after several test they got into the conclusion that it's him harrassing what cause my stress, anxiety and depression it's him due to his harrasment. He steals every dollar I got he steals my HRA Snap benefits monthly I'm supposed to get 220 cash and 280 food and I get 80 cash and he stole 42 cash from my bag and 80 in food. He stole my ERAP funds, my housing application too. This is the 6th time I apply and he only let me get snap. This Group of ppl has me tired. I don't want to kill myself but sometimes I wish I Don't exist due to his harassment. I want him to leave me alone I'm lesbian I like who martins wife has Yakaira Valerio mule 46 yrs old , Esther Gonzalez named by kidnapper Judio ° so I can live, travel like b4 and be a lesbian like always means to leave me alone or I will put myself in the middle so he can kill me. I am homeless because of him. He intrigued in every situation of my life to get the worst or don't get shit. After the mental health institution I came back to start again and tried to have a normal life . I was smoking,

working with a 2 hour commute from the heights to queens, painting, singing, learning Portuguese online, paying of my best friends my car debt and taking care of my dog, used to meet up on Sundays with my family and hang out with my best friend but he started to harass more and more again and in March after COVID I decide to take a break because a work they said I wasn't focused. That's when I started to be stressed and depressed and very anxious and smoking more and more.El acosador dojo q Ella perdio la memoria. Yakaira Valerio Mule 46 anos Esther Gonzales ahora Prisionera en la 187 en Manhattan Keiry arriba 3E y yakaira abajo 2E en Los apt de Ella pereaux mule que Ellos pa robarle la trancaron. Yo prefiero vivir como lesbiana que soy que me gusta viajar pero no sin fumar y sin Ella y menos sin El dinero de mi banco q El robo pa eso prefiero morir y ponerme en El Medio a q me mate Steve que vivir sin Ella , sin fumar y mi dinero por UN ladron con titulos medicina interna diciendo q es psicologo o sin titulo. Emy Lopez Guerrero bartolinos owner, Dominique and silva que usando globalsign falsifica universidades online titulos y con El software de loss pianos hace career que hablaa con gente pa manipular. Como UN ladron que TE causa ansiedad estando tu homeless por el y mirando como TE roban pretende q no TE de ansiedad y dejes de fumar? Solo UN NO PROFESIONAL hace eso HELLO el de la Vos de Carlos Gomez

frustrado con Ella Ayerla tenia la mujer de Martin la vi en Roosevelt con 79. Y Jeffrey El de gio abre mi correo housing y dicen q no me Llego nada por la pelicula?

Sino es facetime no fue quien la Rata TE dijo. Geo Cuomo USA escopolomina esel liquido d limpieza de bano TE phone rapida. El tiene una companies de Las del liquido del q Tiran en la escuela 187 .Estas en peligro.

La basura que El TE diga no es lol que digo yo. Respete o llama me facetime pa que veas SI lodije yo.

The trash he talks the dominican dike it's what he says no what I think. Call me facetime to see if it's true or I never said that. He only lies.

[monsterfucker-lisa-swallows]

(Please boost this version, I realized last night that I put my legal name which my abusers recognize instead of my pen name which is safer for me.)

Hi, I'm Ginger and I've been dating my girlfriend for 11 years. We met on Deviantart writing fanfiction for Doctor Who when I was 15 and she was 14, all the way back in August of 2010. At the time, I was living in an extremely abusive home in which my mother was severely mentally ill and my stepfather physically/psychologically abused me and sexually abused my sister. I decided to leave when I was 22 and cut contact with them completely and my mental health improved drastically. The only problem is that I left with nothing. I'm a college drop out who was going for theatre (I've done basically every job on and off stage since I was 9 years old) and I work on writing novels and scripts in my spare time (I am as of yet unpublished). I work retail, but haven't been able to save any of my money because I've had to put it into living expenses. I'm now 26 and moved to New England over the summer to be with a roommate who turned out to be very emotionally abusive. She was using my family's entire playbook except for the actual physical violence. I slept in the living room and once I got a job, she stopped allowing me to sleep (keeping every light in the house on while running the ac/kitchen fan/bathroom fan all at the same time and doing dishes at 6 am and watching TV loudly and keeping the window open then telling me it wasn't cold or loud in there and taking away my mattress) and suddenly deciding not to let me eat food she'd said i was welcome to and trying to make me lose my job. I spent all my money on the move here and am now sleeping on a coworker's couch for the time being, but it's making me reevaluate everything. I've always said I want to visit my girlfriend then have her visit me then move in with her, but that might take too long. And setting that as our financial goal may not be realistic if I could just get the spouse visa now. I work and she's on benefits for the moment, but I'm feeling like if I don't do this now I'll never be able to.

We're asking for enough funds to get a passport, a plane ticket, handle the immigration fees, and cover initial living expenses. We'd really appreciate it. I'm not expecting to move right this second, but hopefully by the end of next year. I can't bear the thought of never getting to be with my best friend, the only constant person I've ever had in my life. I just want to be there for her the way she has been for me.

COST BREAKDOWN:

£1,523 Fiance Visa fee (USD$2095) +

$190 VFS Application Centre + Biometrics + Doc Scanning + Passport Retention fee +

$2000 Lawyer Fee (Based on Google Estimate)

~£440 Plane Ticket (USD$605) +

£726 Living Expenses - living accomodations, food, etc while waiting to be cleared to work (USD$1000)

TOTAL: USD$5,611

Every cent counts and any excess will be applied to the living expenses because I will not be initially cleared to work and my GF Abbie is currently unable to work. I'd really appreciate any help. This is all I've wanted since I was 15 years old and we have met over webcams and text basically every day, we just haven't met in person. With everything going on in the world, there's no guarantee of tomorrow and I want to start living my life already. If we just had a TARDIS, this wouldn't be necessary, but the technology isn't there yet. Thank you!

We've raised $500 so far! That's incredible, I didn't even expect nearly that much! <3 <3 <3 You'll never know how much this means to us!

Please boost this on here and other social media because I only have a Tumblr (never figured out Twitter, too old for Tiktok, tried YouTube and never really took off, and quit Facebook for safety reasons). We need all the help we can get. Thank you! <3