#but when i i'm running laps doing shit and i see a bunch of people not doing shit

[marmotsomsierost]

Advocating for your family and their medical care is incredibly important.

Being upset that you didn't get an explanation of exactly why your family was discharged is understandable. Even if it is clearly written in the discharge paperwork. It can be legitimately difficult to decode the papers, especially if there is a language or cognitive concern.

Like i will even grant that raising your voice and using demanding language is not necessarily the incorrect choice. Something sucks, you shouldn't have to be sweet and deferential about it.

However.

Loudly berating every single person in scrubs that you see and stating how you are advocating for your family, that you just want them to get the care we would want for our own family, we all are terrible and not doing our jobs because we don't care about our patients, we don't care about someone being in pain and how are you going to discharge a patient without running (test not usually done in the ED in a nonemergent situation) or (test you have already had because your doctor ordered it and we have literally nothing to do with in the ED because we neither performed it nor interpreted it) AND you are 'documenting who i talk to and when and what they say and i need everyone's name who says anything to me' AND after spending six hours sitting in the lobby stewing because the doctor hasn't come talk to you yet while loudly calling everyone you know to talk shit about us and rehash all of the above you say - with absolutely no sense of shame -

that you have been taking photos and video of 'people sitting on their ass' not doing anything

And when i say "You cannot take pictures in here" you say "it doesn't say i can't" and when i say "it is very clearly posted several places that it is not allowed" you say "well i don't see them" and security chimes in pointing out exactly where they are you pause and then say - again, with absolutely no shame -

"Well as much as you all haven't been doing your jobs, i clearly didn't read it"

AND THEN

And THEN you say 'i don't care, i have been documenting all of this because my lawyer told me to because this is (reiteration of entire rant from beginning)'

...THIS IS NOT ADVOCATING FOR YOUR FAMILY MY DUDE

and you are fucking lucky that you got the charge nurse and doctors that you did get because if you had a problem with doc A's attitude holy shit would you have gone ballistic nylon batshit pants if you'd had doc B. And if you'd had a different charge or a different house sup you would have been physically removed the second you said word one about taking pictures. Patients have been removed for taking pictures or video, and you're not even the patient!

"I've been here for five hours and the doctor STILL hasn't come to talk to me. That's how much this hospital is worth. They don't treat the patients right."

We have one doctor. One. If the waiting room is standing fucking room only...maybe, JUST MAYBE, he hasn't come talk to you FOR THE SECOND TIME because HE CAN'T.

...

Anyway. Fuck this day, i'm going home and i'm gonna be just this side of blowing my speakers out on some marcus miller to try and regain an iota of patience.

[mattyriddlesbitch]

Fruit Roll Ups

Mattheo Riddle x Reader

Warnings: Cussing, kissing, gender neutral terms, that's really it?

Another fic based on another Waterparks song

I got some Fruit By The Foot if you wanna come over

Yea, you can wrap your arms so tight

Right 'round my shoulders

In case you're scared of the movies I pick

I'm sorry in advance for that shit

Mattheo and you always had a very flirty relationship. At least, on his end. Complimenting you, hitting on you, telling you horrible pickup lines. He loved when you smiled or laughed at it. He’d even loved it if you rolled your eyes. He actually liked you, though. He had no idea if you liked him back or just liked his flirting.

He finally got the courage to ask you out after watching you with your friends in the courtyard while he was with friends on the other side. Theo and Blaise picked up on him staring at you and started teasing him, making fun of him for pining over you but never doing anything.

“Are you ever gonna ask them out?” Theo smiled at him.

“Yes. I’ll do it when I’m ready.” Mattheo frowned, shoving his hands in his pockets with a sigh, still not looking away from you.

“Is the staring helping? Blaise added on the other side of Mattheo.

“Can you shut up? I’m taking this at my own pace.” Mattheo said, shoving Blaise while Theo and Blaise laughed.

“Just ask them. They’re either willing to give you a chance and say ‘yes’ or they don’t and say ‘no’. It won’t matter when you ask.” Blaise said.

“It’s not like everyone can’t see you guys eye-fucking in class anyways.” Theo added.

“Shut it.” Mattheo sighed, running a hand through his hair before he found himself starting to walk over to you.

When you talk

It's in cursive to me

And it's nicer than anything I'd believe

About me

It's like that shit was written in gel pen

And I love those

“Hey, (Y/N).” Mattheo’s voice said from behind you.

You turn around to see him standing behind you, hands in his pockets, hair a little messy but still cute. “Hey, Mattheo.” You smiled at him.

He smiled and looked down, shifting on his feet before looking back up at you. If only you knew how much your voice affected him. “I think I remember you saying you liked horror movies, right?”

“Yeah. Why?” You nodded.

“Uh, I have some that I haven’t watched yet and all my friends are too much of pussies to watch them with me. I was wondering if you wanted to come to my dorm to watch them one night.” He said, eyes locked on yours. He seemed nervous, which was very unusual for him. “I have a bunch of those little chocolate frogs you like too. I don’t think I’ll ever finish them. I have way too many.”

“Yeah, sure. That sounds fun. Maybe this weekend.” You said with a smile, which seemed to ease him.

“Sweet. Uh, I’ll text you later about the details.” He said, his own smile making its way back on his face before he started backing away, sending you a wink before turning around, taking a deep breath when he knew you wouldn’t notice.

If you want to see me

Acting so desperately

So desperately

All you gotta do is stop texting me

Just to flex on me

He texted you about the movie night a few hours later, not wanting to seem too eager or desperate, just trying to confirm when you’d want to have it. Except you didn’t reply. He didn’t mind the first 10 minutes. After that, he started thinking about it. Maybe he worded it wrong? 20 minutes passed and he kept checking his phone. Did he offend you? 1 hour passed. Maybe you never actually wanted to have a movie night with him.

He left his dorm to find Theo. Theo was good when it came to getting with people.

“I don’t get it. I just asked them when they wanted to have a movie night.” Mattheo said, pacing the room as Theo looked at the text on his phone.

“It’s been an hour.” Theo said, laying on his bed, looking back at Mattheo with a blank face.

“Exactly! An hour and they never replied!” Mattheo said, gesturing his hands wildly.

“They could be studying.” Enzo said, sprawled on an armchair in Theo’s dorm with a book in his lap.

“They’re probably just busy.” Theo tossed Mattheo’s phone on the bed.

It's true

I'm a little bitch for you now

I don't wanna say it way too loud

But I'm a little bitch for you now

His phone suddenly lit up with a notification and Mattheo nearly jumped to grab it, falling to his knees beside the bed as he checked his phone. He smiled when he saw your name and quickly unlocked his phone to read the text you sent him.

“It’s fine. They were napping.” Mattheo said to the two boys, who honestly couldn’t really care less, but found amusement in how desperate Mattheo was to get a text from you.

“See. It was nothing.” Theo said, picking up his own phone to go back to scrolling through it. “Nothing to worry about.”

“I wasn’t worried.” Mattheo said quickly, standing back up as he typed out a text to you.

“Right.” Theo said, raising his eyebrows as he glanced over at Enzo, who shared a look with him.

“Whipped.” Enzo fake-coughed into his hand, getting a laugh from Theo before dodging a shoe Mattheo threw at him and laughing himself.

“I’m not whipped.”

I bought these really sick lights if you wanna come over

They tried to scam me twice

But look

They both can change colors

Like that

I don't wanna leave my house

'Cause in here I'm the ruler

With my refrigerator

Full of Pacific Cooler

But for you I'd brave all the traffic outside

The way you brave all the bullshit I hold inside

You knocked on the door to his dorm at the agreed time, greeted by Mattheo opening his door only seconds later, smiling at you. You both agreed to just wearing comfy clothes, and he looked so good in his sweats and a tee-shirt, his hair was slightly wet from a shower not too long ago. He couldn’t help the flutter in his heart seeing you out of your school uniform. 

“Hey, come in.” He said, moving to let you come in.

You stepped inside his dorm, looking around.

“I got a bunch of snacks and drinks. I remember you told me about this muggle drink you had as a kid so I found some. Wanted to try it with you.” He said, closing the door behind you, watching you nervously as you looked around his dorm. He spent hours deep cleaning it, but if you asked, he was always this clean.

“Thanks. You didn’t need to do all that.” You said and turned around to smile at him.

Your smile. He nearly felt his heart stop. He nearly blurted out ‘I’d do anything for you’ but stopped himself. “Hey, look at this.” He said, trying to turn your attention off of him and calm himself down as he grabbed a remote off his desk and changed the lights in his room from the warm yellow to green, then to red, then blue, then purple.

Oh it's true

(Ooo)

I'm a little bitch for you now

I'm a little bitch

Oh my God

Did I say that too loud?

It's true

I'm a little bitch for you now

I don't wanna say it way too loud

But I'm a little bitch for you now

You both laid down in his bed, watching the horror movies on his tv, snacks scattered between you. His heart was pounding, but it wasn’t from the movie. If you paid enough attention, you could feel his leg bouncing from nerves. He made funny commentary, sounding relaxed. His eyes bounced between you and the tv, making sure you were comfortable and the movie wasn’t bothering you. 

He finally turned his head to look at you fully, watching the light from the tv dance across your face, looking at the little details on your face.

“You okay?” You asked, looking back at him.

“Yeah, just…” He trailed off, not taking his eyes off of you.

He reached a hand over to cup your cheek, leaning closer until his lips hovered over yours. He stayed there for a moment, just looking in your eyes before connecting his lips with yours softly. He really didn’t even know what he was doing. His body took over before his mind could catch up. His mind finally did catch up when he felt you kiss him back. He only parted from you when he needed to breathe, and even then, he was only inches from your face, a huge grin breaking across his.

If you want to see me

Acting so desperately

(I could freestyle you a verse)

So desperately

(Or maybe a hook)

All you gotta do is stop texting me

(I bought these paintings to impress you)

(Did it work?)

Just to flex on me

Theo woke up to his dorm door being thrown open by Mattheo.

“What the fuck do you want?” Theo groaned, rolling over to check the time on his phone.

“They didn’t text back again. You think I fucked up with the kiss?” Mattheo asked, coming over to the side of his bed.

“It is 2 IN THE MORNING! THEY’RE SLEEPING! LIKE I WAS!” Theo yelled, angry that Mattheo woke him up for something so stupid.

Mattheo frowned at him for a moment. “So you don’t think I fucked up with the kiss?”

“GET THE FUCK OUT!” Theo yelled and threw a pillow at him.

Taglist:

@jeannie-beannie @yourenogoodforme @mixvchelle @helendeath @evaslytherpuff

@soaked4abby @hpnsfwaddict @mayamonroem @motherfing-stargirl @brittney-121

@dracoslovergirl @littlemadamred @mattheoriddlesbitch @acornacreacure @opheliamalfoy236

@demieyesore @akira1246 @queenshu @prettypinkprincess15 @starryslytherin0

@schaebickel tagging you since you liked my last one :)

Let me know if you wanna be added!

[savannahsdeath]

HEAR ME OUT I HAVE A REQ!!!!

Sooo basically Ellie being the mafia boss and reader being her precious girlfriend that she (and basically the whole mafia gang) protects.... Idk it could be a fic or just a oneshot but I NEED MAFIA ELLIE IN MY LIFE

HEARING YOU OUT !!

MAFIA!ELLIE WILLIAMS X READER

mdni please<3

warnings: 18+!! just some typical mafia shit idk

writers note: focused more on life life than romantic life in this one BUT maybe, just maybe, I'll do a part2 with more love scenes (basically a smut)

being a housewife for your mafia boss girlfriend wasn't something you were dreaming about as a kid, but you like it. ellie's buddies are loud, suspicious, they make lots of inappropriate jokes or act all posessive but they would never hurt you. in fact, they won't let anyone hurt you.

today, just like every friday, she brings them home to play cards and talk. you, of course, had to clean the whole house. ellie didn't ask you to do that - her people weren't.. the cleanest people anyway, but you couldn't stand the thought of your guests finding a layer of dust on a shelf or a ball of hair in the bathroom.

the doorbell rings and you run up to greet them, and, mainly, see ellie. as you open the door, you're presented with a bunch of burly men and only one, but your favourite, woman.

"good evening, mrs williams." smiles the first one, before entering.

the feeling of being called by ellie's last name was still new to you, but it sent a warm feeling from your heart down to your stomach.

you stand back and watch as the men enter, filling out your living room. they seem more at ease than usual, and you're sure ellie is to blame. they greet you with a smile, before stepping aside to reveal ellie last.

"hey, babe." ellie says, as she wraps her arms around you and pulls you in close. she smiles up at you, with those green eyes of hers. she leans in for a kiss, and you gladly give in to her, feeling her soft lips on yours. you get lost in the moment, forgetting to breathe and not pulling away for a quite long time, only making a break when it's really needed.

"c'mon, ellie, or we'll start playing without you!" one of the men calls out from the dining table.

the men's voices in the background quickly fade away as you are consumed in the moment.

ellie, though, pulls away, and laughs. "i'm coming, i'm coming!" she shouts before letting go of you and walking towards the dining table, with you trailing behind her.

you happily take a seat on ellie's lap, as you both set your eyes on the deck of cards. as she shuffles the cards, you watch in adoration of her every movement. you are quickly snapped out of your trance when you felt something touch your leg, and you see ellie looking at you with a sly grin on her face.

she leans in and whispers; "don't move too much, 'kay?"

she winks and starts to deal out the cards.

usually you tried to avoid looking at ellie's cards - your 'poker face' wasn't really working and your reaction could make her lose. this time, you didn't pay attention to the rules, so you didn't have to avoid it. you didn't know wether her cards are good or useless anyway.

you find yourself not paying much attention to the game, instead getting caught up in the conversations around you. you happily listen to the others, learning more about their business dealings. you don't know much about poker or card games, and you aren't the best at lying, so you keep yourself out of the game.

you start to feel the warmth of ellie's soft, loving touches, as she plays with your hair or strokes your thigh.

the evening continues on with you, ellie and the other men playing a few rounds. you watch her intently, noticing every little detail about her body language and facial expressions. even you couldn't read her poker face, though.

you slowly reach for her hand, and begin to play with it a little, twirling her fingers.

that's one of the good sides of being a mafia boss's wife, but there's also the.. well, worse ones.

they visited you again and you could tell something's wrong straight ahead - it was tuesday. you came back from a walk to see a man tied to a chair in your kitchen. he had pieces of cloth wrapped around his head - one around his eyes and the other in his mouth, making him lose ability to see or speak.

"what do we do with him?" another man asked, one you knew from the friday evenings.

ellie was about to say something before she noticed you, awkwardly standing in the doorstep, scared and too surprised to move. she quickly grabs your arm and steers you out of the kitchen.

"it's okay, love. don't worry, it has nothing to do with you. just stay in the other room, alright? i'll come grab you in a bit. it'll be okay." ellie says reassuringly, as she leads you into the living room.

you hear the sound of the man in the kitchen making muffled sounds, as he struggles and squirms in his chair.

ellie sits you down on the couch, and then walks out of the room. you feel uneasy as you hear the man in the kitchen continue making sounds, but you sit quietly as ellie tells you to.

you watch as the door to the kitchen slowly closes behind ellie, and you hear muffled shouting and noises coming from inside. the others come into the living room, to check on you and see if you're okay.

"hey, everything alright? did ellie tell you what's going on?" one of them asks. "don't worry, it'll all be over soon. we just gotta deal with him quickly."

you can hear the muffled shouting in the kitchen continue, and the other men around you try to ignore it. as they discuss business deals, and joke about various topics, you continue to feel a pit in your stomach, worrying about what is happening in the kitchen. they don't seem eager to tell you what is going on, but they try to keep you distracted. one of them tries to joke with you, but you barely respond, as your mind is focused on what is happening in the next room. you start to feel sick, and your face starts to feel hot.

"what is she doing?" you ask quietly, but as soon as you realize your voice doesn't reveal your fear and confusion you add in a louder tone; "who is he?"

the room goes quiet, as the others hear you speak up. you can see some of the men exchange worried glances, but they still try to keep their composure in front of you. it doesn't do much to help you feel better, as you look at them with fear in your eyes.

the others look among themselves, as if asking what to do, before one of them speaks up. "you know this isn't really something you need to worry about," he says, trying to put a calming tone on his voice. "but since you ask, he's just a guy working for a rival gang. he was trying to get some information on us, so we need to... erm... make sure he won't do it again."

you notice how vague their answer was, as they try to keep you in the dark. at the same time, the meaning was painfully obvious.

you take a moment to process what the man said, before speaking up again. "but.. why here, in our house?" you ask, with your voice still shaky. "surely you must have your places to do... business?"

another man steps in to answer, trying to calm you down with words that sound too well rehearsed.

"no need to worry about a thing." the other man says, in an overly reassuring voice. "like i said, it isn't really your problem. you know, these guys always try to stick their noses where it doesn't belong. your girl here is just showing him the consequences of messing with the wrong people, alright?"

you feel like they are trying to brush off your concerns, and you doubt that they're being completely truthful with you. you knew it's probably just to protect you but you wanted to know everything.

the muffled shouting in the kitchen slowly dies down, and there's only occasional sounds of movement from inside - probably someone cleaning up the mess you could only imagine was done.

you are left feeling confused and anxious, unsure of what happened in the kitchen, or how this will play out.

later, when you were laying in bed in your lace nightgown which ellie loved seeing you in oh so much, you managed to get the tied up man out of your head.

that's what i should expect anyways, right?

ellie just came to the bedroom after taking a shower, her wet hair glued to her face. she kisses you on the cheek, before walking over and climbing onto the bed next to you. you look at her, and notice that something seems off about her behaviour.

"how did it go?" you ask, referring to the events that happened earlier.

ellie is taking her time in answering you, and you notice a slight hesitation in her voice. "it went... well. it's nothing you should worry about, love. besides..." she leans towards you and whispers; "i handled it, alright? you don't need to concern yourself with it." she plays with your hair, making it look like she's trying to distract both you and herself from thinking about it.

you watch as ellie's wet hair drips onto the bed. she continues to stroke your head, trying to give you the impression that everything is fine.

was it really fine? oh, well...

[maddie-dog-story-blog]

Sarah's Playground - 1

As I looked around the park near my apartment, I couldn't help but appreciate how beautiful the weather was. The sun was shining and there was a light breeze keeping it warm, but not to hot. It was perfect tank top and skirt weather, and I was taking full advantage of that.

My name is Sarah Jenkins. I'm 22 years old, blonde, and, if you don't mind me saying so myself, beautiful. I love this type of weather, because it really lets me show off the curves that I've worked hard for. Okay, so maybe not that hard, but I still like showing them off.

You see, about six months ago I was at a garage sale and came across this beautiful ruby necklace for sale. The old woman running the sale sold it to me for a steal, but gave some cryptic advise of 'being careful what you wish for,' and some other bullshit nonsense.

That night, I wore the necklace out for drinks with my girlfriends. At one point, I said something like, "I wish we had some more drinks," and, like magic, some dude immediately bought our table a round.

Now, I have been into the ABDL scene for a bit and understood pretty quickly what was going on based on all of the smutty diaper-fetish fiction I'd read. The old lady at the garage sale was clearly a witch and sold me a magic amulet that granted all of my wishes. Score.

I also realized pretty early on that I would have to been careful as I altered the world, because, I know based on those same stories, magic like this can have a downside if you aren't careful with it. So, for the last six months, I've been incredibly careful. That said, I've also changed a lot of things.

One of the first things I changed was my body. I was never bad looking, but, I had a dream. You see, I have always wanted to be the perfect, most beautiful ABDL Mommy possible. So, I made myself into my dream Mommy. I'm 6'6" tall. My double-D breasts are firm and, more often than not, full of breast milk, ready to feed any hungry adult baby.

I am also fit. I gave myself a large, feminine ass, but the whole thing is made of muscle. I can lift most other adults and easily carry them like small children. My arms are ripped, and I have large hands perfect for spanking disobedient littles.

I've also changed the world to better suit my fantasies. Currently, based on my wishes, when people turn 18, 25 percent of people are randomly forced to regress to adult babies by society. Those people are forced to act like giant toddlers for the rest of their lives. Other people can adopt and care for that portion of the population, doing to them whatever they want, within reason.

Looking out across the park on this beautiful day, I am pretty happy with how things turned out. Beyond the normal sights of parents and their children playing at the playground, young men and women out on runs or sun bathing, and elderly couples out for a stroll, the park is filled with adults of all shapes and sizes acting like the giant babies I've turned them into.

I stopped and watched as one particulary cute young woman wearing nothing but a yellow onesie and gigantic diaper squats down, balls up her fists, and pushes a huge mess into her pants. I watched as she blushed, her adult mind aware of how humiliating it was to shit her pants, but unable to stop herself out of fear of being punished for violating the rules of society I created.

Being the bad witch in charge feels so good!

I continued my stroll through the park, enjoying watching two 30-year-old men in nothing but diapers crawl in a sandbox as there caregivers looked on like disinterested parents letting their kids get energy out at the park.

As I continued, I saw an 18-year-old woman beant over an older man's lap, her bare ass in the air and a pull-up bunched around her ankles.

"Naughty girl! You are an adult baby now, not an adult! You do not take your pull-up off! I'm going to have to demote you to diapers for this!" The man said as he ruthlessly spanked the young woman, who was clearly struggling with her new lot in life.

It's music to my Mommy Domme ears.

Speaking of ears, what was that noise? I reached into my purse and found my cellphone alarm going off. Was it time to go home already? My tits ached. It must be feeding time for my own little ball of joy.

To bad I can't bring her out here. For my own amusement, I've left my own adult baby completely aware of how the world was prior to my intervention. When I take her out in public, she tends to make a scene. Oh well! Time to get back to Mommy duty!

I started walking down the quickest path home, the ruby necklace dangling in my ample cleavage glittering in the sunlight.

NEXT CHAPTER

[zeroducks-2]

Sometimes I think about Thawne admitting he has done some heinous stuff to Barry that Barry doesn't even know and I'm like ok did you fuck him? Did you stick your dick in this poor sod at some point and Barry doesn't even realize it cause Thawne's faster than him and his fast healing is making him think his body ache feels good? Thawne was saying shit about turning back time to adopt Barry and groom him like he got my head running shamelessly saying his kink to his crush's face like that hmmm

Okay I KNOW this ask is not serious but I have the chance to talk about my beautiful little meow meow and I will take it, so I will split my answer in two, the unserious answer and the serious answer.

The unserious answer is that I love it about Eobard that he's so open about what he likes. He went (paraphrased) "Hey did you know I was in love with your uncle :D" at Wally one time, and then proceeded to beat the shit out of him. He used to write in his diary about how alone he was and how just thinking about Barry made him feel better. Gayass nerd dweeb he had a crush on Barry since he was a damn child. We could just go on and assume he did stick his dick in there (maybe when Barry hadn't still been hit by lightning), because at this point I wouldn't be surprised (I do believe he used to touch and hold Barry at superspeed back then but that's just me we don't really have canon confirmation of this YET! YET!!! ahem.)

The serious answer is that he's just playing. Eobard is good at saying things that will rile people up, but it doesn't always work on Barry (because Barry knows him), and so he will say a bunch of shit in the attempt to get a reaction. When he says that he did unspekable things that make killing Nora pale in comparison, when he says that he's going to kill Iris (or any other "flashfamily" member), when he says that he'll go back in time and do this and that, adopt Barry (I really fucking loved that one btw), whatever, he's just provoking. He's trying to make Barry mad basically.

I'm saying this because he does not do any of what he says even if he could, at any given time. He can move through time easily, and he does it constantly. He says himself in Finish Line that this is not his first rodeo in this timeline, and we have the confirmation that during the events of Lightning Strikes Twice there are two Eobards around.

Look at this:

This is the beginning of Lightning Strikes Twice. As you can see Eobard is there spying on people, but the thing is that we also know FOR SURE that he is currently locked up in a cell, looking like this:

(the person speaking is August btw)

So yeah, he's in two places at the same time, running around and watching things unfold, and also tied up to that freaky bondage contraption from which Barry will break him out lol.

Also it's worth noting that he's so fast he runs laps around Wally and can go entirely unseen by him, and Wally calls himself the fastest man who ever lived. His powers make it so he can come in and out of the timestream and run through it without any kind of external aid - he does it while being "trapped" in Paradox' dimension, and is precise enough when he interacts with the timestream to not cause any kind of ripple effect (like again when he saved Chris in Flash Age).

If he wanted to hurt Barry like he says he does, he could. If he actually wanted to do any of the shit he brags about he'd just do it without threatening Barry about it. He's just playing, trying to get a reaction out of his crush, and sometimes it works! Sometimes Barry actually gets worked up. But in fairness, most of the time Barry's reaction is 😒🙄 because all of what I just said, Barry knows too lol.

(indeed Barry is also very scared that Eobard might actually hurt the people he loves, because he knows that Eo could and is aware of how easily he would do it. Not many people can defend from a speedster especially if they don't know he's coming. And no one can defend against this yellow menace of a banana man altering the timeline however the fuck he prefers. Luckily for everyone involved, he's not interested in altering the timeline any more than he already did, at least for now)

[azurlily]

Dont ask where this came from, but I was tired and came across a tumblr post abt means lesbians. My first thought was, mean lesbian gf smut???." So now you get: Mean Lesbian NSFW!

She's a bit of a yandere, but that's okay we love her anyways.

TW: The three G's. Gaslight, Gatekeep, Girlboss!

Mean Lesbian

NSFW

[ML stands for Mean Lesbian, I dont have a name for this character yet.]

The whole Mean lesbian stereotype never fit in my eyes, I mean becoming nice for the sake of your girlfriend? Yeah no, how about making your girlfriend worse than you, for the sake of yourself? That's right up my alley, but when you like a girl that's as sweet as apple pie...it takes time to get her to your pace.

"All I'm saying is that she deserved it, I don't care if people think I'm doing it because I like her. I'd do it again in a heartbeat. She was flirting with you."

Very recently a bunch of nude pictures of some random girl had gotten out around school. The culprit being none other than ML, she'd been out snd proud about it. Knowing damn well no one could, nor would do shit. Her daddy has money, her moms a lawyer, how are you meant to fight someone like that?

You aren't, and that's the point. No on is meant to be able to fight someone with power like that. So no one does, and ML likes it that way. No matter how much her sweetheart disagrees.

Quiet whimpers and soft sighs bang around the room, while ML was having her little monologue her girlfriend was in a sticky situation.

On her knees, head laying against ML's thighs, a thick ball gag in her mouth, and pink silk adorning her skin. Soft cries attempt to leave the girls mouth, although it's all in vain. ML runs her hand through the girls hair, and dark smirk on her face.

"Oh pretty girl, my baby girl. You look beautiful you know, you look like a piece of art. Ready to be torn in two, just for me..."

Fake innocence runs thickly in her voice, she wants you to think she pitys you. She wants your dumb brain to think she cares,(which she does) think she loves your weak, useless body.

ML's hand grab at your body, slowly pulling you up on the bed. She's picked up heavier girls than you, she used to be a cheerleader and then she didn't even enjoy picking them up. She gently sets you up, just on her lap. Soft hands running up and down your back, up and down your ass.

Her face is bright red, while ML has had plenty of girls in her bed before, you're her favorite. Which is exactly why she made you her public girlfriend a while ago. Well, you don't know you're her girlfriend, but everyone else does. That's good enough for her!

You feel two long fingers press against your entrance, her long slender fingers scoop up some of your slick. She puts the two fingers in her mouth and sucks on them. She continues this activity by rubbing you with her fingers, giving you just the tiniest sparks of pleasure. Then taking it all away as she tastes you.

You whine louder and louder, you like foreplay but this was too much. You'd pass out before even getting to actually cum as this rate! You whine and attempt to move around, quickly remembering how she has you tied up.

Your arms tied behind your back, your feet tied but not your legs. She wants easy access, one of the rops running down your back onto your ass. And tightly around your chest. ML mentally praises herself for such amazing work.

ML hears your whines and sees your breaking point arising.

"Oh, I know baby, you wanna cum so badly! So let's make a game out of this, I'm going to take that pretty gag off and ask you a few questions. For everyone you get right; I fuck you more. For every wrong answer; I spank you. Seem fair?"

ML didn't wait for you to nod your head, she took the gag off and asked the first question:

"Am I better at fucking you than your exes?"

You feel two long finger slide inside of you, while her other hand is on your ass. She's just waiting for a wrong answer, or maybe she's waiting to reward you...

"Y-yes you're better than them!"

You answered as honestly as possible, and you were greatly rewarded for it. You feel her fingers pump in and out of you, you whine loudly as moves them through you at a painstaking slow pace. She slows even more as she asks the second question:

"Good answer. Second question is easy: would you ever cheat on me...or have you?"

Cheat? You two aren't even dating, right? Right? You ponder for a second too long and a sharp hand slams down on your ass. Your cry out, but it doesn't matter and she does it once more. After the second time she stops, you don't dare move or speak for that matter. Her fingers stop and you almost cry at the loss, you dont though because you know what would happen.

"You took too long to answer, I'm talking it as a yes. And because of that I'll be asking something different for my third question. Were you actually flirting with that girl, hm? Or did I just take it the wrong way and...accidentally ruin her reputation?"

There wasn't any anger in her voice, quote the opposite, she was happy and you knew damn why. You've seen how obsessed she gets over someone, you're the example after all. The worst part is that you hated that girl, that's exactly why you were in fact flirting with her. You knew exactly what she would do, and you loved it.

"I- I was flirting with her, why are you jealous? Green isn't a good color on you-"

She gently flicks you on the back of your head, you don't need to look up to know the look on her face. Angry with a hint if pride.

"Hm, wrong answer."

[suusoh]

Your post about Johan pushing boundaries and being a little perv with someone who’s trying their best to keep things platonic haunts me. You tried to cook and you succeeded. Best meal i’ve had in months.

Idk if you’ve read the fanfics by ddarkerdreams (i’m almost certain you have cause we’re all starved for Johan content) but the second one has these moments where Johan just gets unnecessarily close to the reader. Or when he buckles her seatbelt in the car. And ddarkerdreams also made a bunch of headcanons about him where they mention him grabbing the reader’s chin and holding them in place so he can look them in eye uninterrupted.

I imagine at first he’d just keep doing these little actions that are so obviously intimate and definitely make darling squirm, but can also be interpreted as platonic just to gage their reaction or mess with them. And then he’d just slowly escalate. Like he’d go further and further. I have two scenarios in my head:

In the first he’d just push boundaries to see them squirm and desperately try to keep things platonic. This one’s definitely the most in-character for Johan cause he’s a little shit who loves watching people and their reactions like the world’s his zoo or smth. Pre-ending Johan would 100% go for this one.

In the second he’d start with the small stuff and get them used to it. He’d be subtle enough that, despite the actions being obviously intimate and flustering, they wouldn’t realize the escalation. At first he might regularly invade their personal space and just shove his face way too close to theirs when talking. Once they dismiss that as “he’s just like that i guess” and get used to it, he’d start being unnecessarily touchy. I imagine this would be more of a thing for post-ending Johan. Cause after the whole identity crisis mental breakdown thing i imagine he’d be more afraid of having them run away. He could always kidnap them ofc, but having them slowly get more and more attached to him might be preferable. Like i imagine after regaining his identity, he’d be very desperate to have people not only acknowledge it, but also accept it. The jig is up, he’s his own person, others can perceive him, i think it’d be a huge thing whether or not the person he wants also wants him. So subtly getting them attached is him being horrified of rejection and manipulating them into a relationship instead of having to face his fears.

Sorry for the rant but i have no one to talk to about this 😭

(reference post)

HELLO ANON!! I'M SO SOSO SORRY IT TOOK ME A WHILE TO FINANLLY ANSWER THIS. THANK YOU FOR SENDING THIS!!!

Let me tell you a little something, this ask was honestly one of my favourite asks of all time <3 I remember receiving this when I really was still just in the middle of starting out with suusoh.

Truth be told I was just a little bit intimidated because your ask is honestly just.. .chefs kiss. so good. talented. brilliant. amazing. showstopping. never the same. life changing. literally nothing else I can add to this. Your brain is beautiful and humongous.

BUT YES!!!! I'M PRETTY SURE ALL OF US BY NOW HAVE CONSUMED @/ddarker-dreams JOHAN. IT'S A RITE OF PASSAGE AT THIS POINT AND YES YES YES YES I AM INSPIRED BY THE SECOND FIC WHERE HE REALLY JUST ALL UP ON READER'S SPACE LIKE THAT HFKLAHHJF. GODDDD. Like the way putting on someone's seatbelt or lifting their chin could easily be brushed off as non-romantic or non-sexual and johan will exploit the SHIT out of that. Always making it seem like it's your fault for putting meaning into things.

And you're also getting what I'm saying about post-rurenheim johan as well😭!! Like he'd slowly push your boundaries too, but unlike pre-rurenheim johan who does it for his little entertainment and show, post-rurenheim johan does it because it's his way of genuinely slowly inch by inch getting closer to you and lowkey persuading you to let him be touchy and clingy with you. Literally does the whole "yes, friends sit on each other's lap, this is completely normal. Sit on my lap please please please please."

Thank you for your ask anon! Apologies again that it took me a while, but my blog is open to these thoughts of yours anytime!!

[v1nnydinny]

hey! how are u?? sorry if i'm bothering but could u do headcanons of Vance Hopper x Male reader who is like very sweet, kind but also very insecure and sensitive? love your writing!!

have a good day/night<3

Yes sir I gotchu :3

I’m honestly sooo in love with Vance Hopper dude it’s not even funny- Also like- IM SO SORRY FOR IT TAKING SO DAMN LIKE FOR YOU TO GET THIS-😭 I’ve been struggling a lot so I haven’t had the energy to write but please request as my as you want because it will ALWAYS. Get done :3

TW kissing, fighting, cussing- I’m dumb ash so tell me if there’s more

Vance Hopper x male reader headcanons <3

⋆Vance adores how sweet you are, he loves that you’re still sweet and kind even when he’s upset about something. (When’s he not?🥰)

⋆If anyone and I mean anyone. Says anything that even the slightest bit upset you or makes you feel bad about yourself we all already know that persons gonna have a trip to the hospital.

⋆because your his boyfriend? He’s not gonna let anyone make his partner feel bad in any sense.

⋆if he’s ever done/said smth that made you get all sensitive he’d feel really bad. Tho Vance is rude and violent in the movie he still would put his whole life into making sure he never did something to get you in a state like that.

⋆he loves you a lot! You’re the best boyfriend he could ask for!

⋆you guys listen to music all the time together whether it’s blondie, the runaways, kizz, weezer, Joan Jett, The Cramps.

⋆i think his fav song is Cherry Bomb by the runaways. Because who could blame him? It’s an amazing ass song!

⋆Vance definitely likes caramel candy- just had to say that-

⋆again Vance loves how sweet you are. A lot of the time he’ll go to you when upset just to hear your soft voice tell him that everything is okay

⋆he loves seeing your sweet adorable smile.

⋆he loves seeing how sweet and kind you are to others

⋆and ya a lot of people do think your relationship is “weird” because Vance is loud, aggressive and rude and your quiet, soft and sweet

⋆opposites attract 🤷🏻 I don’t make the rules.

⋆if he ever says something that makes you feel insecure he’d feel horrible. He’d be all over you, kiss you everywhere especially where he made you feel insecure and if it’s nothing with your body then he’d kiss your head as a way to “kiss away the thought”

⋆you guys definitely go on walks in the forest.

⋆he buys those bags of gummy’s that have gummy rings in them and he’d take all the gummy rings and purpose to you with them all and put every single one on your fingers.

“My beloved Y/N..will you make me the happiest guy alive and be my husband forever?”

⋆he’d say teasingly and kiss your check/lips after

⋆Vance obviously LOVES dogs. Tiny dogs- big dogs- he loves them!

⋆I can’t really see him as a cat person but at the same time I do….maybe it’s just if the cat is resting on his lap while he does whatever.

⋆one time you and Vance went to the grab ‘n’ go and were getting slushies and someone had randomly pointed at you and laughed an oh boy. They knew what they had coming. Vance set his slushie down and kissed your nose and told you to look away or don’t get close and then went up to the boy and proceeded to beat the ever loving shit out of him and you had to drag Vance out (leaving your slushies behind😔🤙🏻) and run off to hide because the cashier called the cops.

⋆for Valentine’s Day he got you a teddy bear and took you to grab ‘n’ go to get a bunch of snacks you wanted and then you guys would go home and watch movies all night.

⋆for Valentine’s Day one of the things you got him was matching pj pants which he loved-!!

⋆I see you guys baking to together even if he smashes and egg on your head just for the fun of it🥰🤙🏻 but if that upset you in anyway and made you sad he’d apologize and help you clean it out of your hair before giving you a gentle kiss on the hand

⋆gives you lots of piggy back rides and I mean a lot- he also does the thing where he pretends drop you but doesn’t actually, but he’ll stop if you don’t like that

⋆just cuz he loves you sm :)

⋆he sneaks through your window a lot and stays that night, your caregiver wasn’t to happy at first but saw how happy you were and you guys were also so cute sleeping together. They definitely took photos and there’s some around the house in frames.

⋆whenever he doesn’t come over you guys call alllll night!

OMGG!! This was so cute to make:) lmk if I should do more because I so will 🤗

[samiwife]

Hi dear ... could you write something in honor of Devon's birthday, since he's one of our favorite guys ... It's nice have someone with the same taste. Devon it's soo cute S2

Yeah of course <3 Thanks for the request <3 (Sorry for the slow updates, life stuff)

The Idiot Savant ੈ✩‧₊˚ (Devon Bostick X Reader)

𓆩♡𓆪= Smut

ੈ✩‧₊˚= Fluff

⋆ ★= Angst

𓆩⟡𓆪 = Headcanons

Devon has always been an idiot. He did things that always resulted in him always getting in trouble or hurt. Sometimes even both. You never knew why he did this but you always assumed it was because he was bored and he just wanted to entertain himself. The past weekend was Devon's birthday. You and Devon had a party with a bunch of friends. Things got insane fast. People were breaking stuff and being loud. Not for long, Devon became part of the chaos.

"Devon stop! you're going to hurt yourself!" You yelled at Devon who was standing on a fragile table. Devon didn't listen to you, he was clearly drunk. You quickly grabbed Devon by the arm and led him down. Devon groaned and grabbed a few more beers. You gave Devon a terrified look. Devon smiled faintly and began laughing.

"Sorry babe, but let loose. I'll be fine." Devon said holding you tight. You let go of Devon and sighed. You were afraid that Devon would do something more stupid than before.

"Okay just be careful. I don't want you in the hospital on your birthday." You said concerned while letting go of Devon so he can run off with his friends. You watched him wander off to his friends who gave him more beer. You sighed and walked to your friends. They noticed you looked worried.

"Hey Y/N, are you alright? You look worried." One of them asked you. You looked at them and sighed in worriedness. You sipped your beer and cleared your throat.

"Yeah I'm alright but I'm just worried about Devon. He always does some dumb shit and I'm afraid he's going to get hurt." You explain to all of them. They all comforted you saying it would be alright since you knew Devon knew better to not hurt himself. Which is right. Devon wasn't a complete idiot. He was smart but sometimes his common sense wasn't there. As you slowly began to worry less, your sense of concern grew bigger when you heard a loud crash from downstairs. You and all of your friends rush downstairs to see what happened. You saw broken glass everywhere and a broken wooden chair. Then to your horror, Devon is on the ground bleeding from his fragile hands. You rushed to his aid, trying your hardest not to cry.

"Oh my god! What happened?" You asked while laying Devon in your lap. "We dared Devon to do a handstand while drunk to see if he could do it. But he fell off the chair and broke his fall on a vase." One of Devon's friends explained. You took a huge breath to calm down.

"Okay thanks for telling me, come on Devon let's see how badly you got hurt this time." You said while lifting him up. You carried Devon to the bathroom as everyone else continued to party. You placed Devon on the toilet seat as you searched through the bathroom cabinets for a first-aid kit. As you searched, you could hear Devon's slurred words.

"I'm s-sorry Y/N, you were right. I am an idiot." Devon said through slurred words. You turned your head to face Devon. Devon's face was sorrowful and he began to cry. Your face fell soft from Devon's tears.

"No Devon, it's okay. You're not an idiot. You just make bad decisions that's all." You said facing him. You caressed his face while wiping his tears. Devon smiled faintly and closed his eyes.

"If you hurt yourself, I will always help you." You said smiling and gently stroking his face to calm him down. Devon opened his eyes and stared at you faintly. You let go of Devon's face and opened the first-aid kit.

"Now, how about I help you like what I promised." You said grabbing injury tape for Devon. Devon smiled and nodded. You grabbed Devon's hand which was injured and began wrapping it up. Devon winced at the pain from your wrapping. You became a lot more gentle.

"Sorry Devon, tell me if it hurts so I can be gentle." You said to Devon. "No, I'm fine. Thank you Y/N." Devon said with a weak smile. You finished up wrapping his hand and when you were done. Devon looked so happy. Devon grabbed your hand gently and pulled you closer.

"Y/N, you are always so kind. How could you be with an idiot like me?" Devon said looking down at the ground. You sighed and gently grabbed Devon's chin making him look at you.

"Devon, you are an idiot but you are my idiot that I will forever take care of." You said reassuring Devon that you do love him no matter what. There was a silence until you leaned closer to Devon. Laying your lips onto his. Devon closed his eyes and fell in your kiss. You ran your finger through Devon's hair as you kissed him. Eventually, you pulled away.

"Don't ever think that I don't love you. I love my goofy boyfriend who is my little idiot." You said smiling at Devon. He looks down and blushes brightly at your words. Soon enough, Devon was strong enough to go back to partying his little heart until the next morning when he slept on the sofa. The next morning you walked past the sofa where Devon was and kissed his forehead as he slept.

"I hope you had a good birthday." You whispered as you gently ran your fingers through his hair.

[adjit]

So what really happened in Red Robin between Dick and Tim?

Because I am constantly seeing misrepresentations of it, I want to talk about the actual events of Red Robin, and Dick and Tim's relationship during it. It's a favorite storyline for fandom to use and riff on, and so for people who haven't read the source, it's hard to know what is canon and what is fanon.

Honestly? It might be easier to just go read the issues. The majority of what I'm going to discuss here all happens in the first 4 issues of Red Robin (though I cover some stuff through the first 12), and I enjoyed that entire run, but if you'd rather hear a random internet user tell ya their take on it, read on.

This is going under a cut because it's long. But TLDR? Dick is not the bad guy in this situation. No one is the bad guy in this situation. If we had to name one... poor coping skills? And though they do fight, they ultimately reconcile because Tim and Dick are brothers who love each other.

Damian

First things first, let's talk about Damian. Did Dick give Robin to Damian without even informing Tim, so Tim had to find out by Damian showing up in the Robin costume? Not exactly.

So, some technicalities. Damian had worn the costume before the infamous Batcave scene. In Batman: Battle for the Cowl #3, he's given it by Alfred and goes with Squire to save Tim. So, not only has Damian worn the costume before, Tim has seen it.

However, arguably this is also before Dick has accepted the mantle, so the scene in the cave is still notable as it is Dick specifically informing Tim that Damian will be his Robin. And Tim had also worn the costume out for a one-time rescue months before he officially became Robin (also enabled by Alfred), so I'm still of the idea that the cave scene is The Scene about the Robin mantle being passed down.

That being the case, I'm still going to defend Dick anyway.

Firstly, he told Tim before Damian showed up. But it's true that he didn't give Tim a choice, and that Tim was NOT okay with it.

Damian shows up and talks some shit, Tim punches him in the face, and then storms out.

Overall, it went pretty terribly! But I'm of the opinion that there was no good ending here. Damian needs the family connection that the mantle of Robin would give him in order to feel accepted, not to mention the close supervision that the duo of Batman and Robin would provide. But Tim is extremely attached to Robin 14 years after this comic and he still hasn't given it up and would never be happy being asked to give it up, especially when he's already lost so many things. One of them was going to end up unhappy. (Fwiw, I'm of the opinion that Dick is right, and Damian needs Robin a lot more than Tim does. But that doesn't mean that that decision wouldn't hurt Tim, too.)

Arguably, Dick could have been a bit nicer when doing this, but let's be fair to Dick: his father figure has just died, and suddenly he has to be Batman, and he now has a young child he is partly in charge of. That's a lot to be dumped on his lap, not to mention that he didn't want to be Batman (he initially refused despite Bruce's wishes, and only took it on after basically being forced to after Jason tried to take on the mantle, killed a bunch of people, and injured both Damian and Tim), and said child is a highly traumatized child who is still in the process of basically cult de-conditioning! So Tim could also be asked to be a lot more understanding than he's being. But Tim's too wrapped up in his own grief to see that. Just like Dick's too wrapped up in his own issues to properly deal with Tim.

He has a lot of shit going on and he can't juggle it all. Tim is coping incredibly poorly with his own circumstances. They clash and neither comes out happy. It sucked. But to say that Dick is the bad guy here... He made the best decision he could when given no right options. I do think that he made a mistake here in his approach, but to call his entire relationship with Tim into question due to it... doesn't make as much sense to me (especially because of the events which follow!)

Self-isolation

So, did everyone abandon Tim? Did his family forget him and leave him out to dry?

Absolutely not. The opposite, really. Tim pushed everyone away, despite them repeatedly reaching out to him.

One thing to note about Tim here is that he is self-isolating extremely hard. Even after their argument about Robin, Dick keeps trying to reach out to Tim. Tim pushes him away. Tim pushes everyone away. And this is not even subtle- it's shown in the text very clearly.

Multiple people try to talk to Tim, and Tim absolutely refuses them.

Tim is pissed even at the idea that Dick might be checking up on him. And Tim and Steph's relationship is super rocky right now, and he takes her concern for him poorly. Part of that can be attributed to an ongoing fight between them, a lack of trust implicit there, but combined with everything else it's also clearly Tim pushing away all of his lifelines.

Cassie also comes to try to check on him- after he dodges her attempts to contact him, she flies all the way to Gotham. But when told that a man who everyone knows as dead, and whose body was recovered and buried, is still alive, she doesn't believe him. (And considering Cassie has already dealt with Tim's grief regarding Conner and his suuuuuper rational reaction there, one might understand even more why she doesn't believe him right away.) And Tim immediately pushes her away for it. He doesn't try to give her any explanation, doesn't respond to her concern, he just immediately cuts the cord.

(And just a note that when Cassie doesn't know who else to turn to about Tim? She turns to Dick! Because she knows how important Dick is to Tim. And yes, right now Tim is mad at Dick and resents that Steph and Cassie go to him, but that doesn't change the fact that when people think about caring for Tim, Dick is the first person they go to.)

Dick and Tim's argument

Did Dick refuse to believe Tim, despite Tim having evidence, call him crazy and threaten to throw him in Arkham? NOPE.

That is entirely fanon. And one of the more pervasive, and annoying, misrepresentations of Dick's character, as it causes people to talk shit about him.

So. What actually happened? (We're getting into full pages here because I am not letting anyone get this conversation twisted.)

Dick shows up and speaks to Tim compassionately, though decisively, about the fact that Bruce is dead and they need to learn to move on and deal with that grief in a healthy manner. He then offers help to Tim once more, and is rejected, Tim instead opting to start a fight in classic emotionally-repressed Bat tradition. (Which, sidenote, do you think they do this just so that panels during a long conversation are more dynamic instead of two people standing there talking to each other?)

Tim pleads his case to Dick....to an extent. Notice, however, that he never mentions that he has any reason to believe what he does. Doesn't even try to convince Dick to believe him, really. Just insists that he's right after he makes a good case on why he does in fact sound crazy.

And then, Dick offers help. He suggests that Tim talk to a therapist. This person is, notably, NOT ARKHAM ASYLUM. Isn't even secretly Arkham, because they're in Metropolis!

And, frankly, the idea that someone suggesting therapy to his brother who is dealing poorly with grief has been equated to "calling him crazy and trying to get him thrown in jail/committed" is absolutely bonkers to me. I know that it's more likely that someone escalated the stakes for drama in their fanfic or something, and for some reason that's the version that circulated, but from here to there is a LEAP. And for people to claim it's canon is frustrating to say the least.

And finally. Tim tells Dick to let him leave. And Dick does. Dick stops trying to stop Tim, and lets him go. He trusts in Tim enough to let him do what he thinks is right, even if Dick himself disagrees. He does it because Tim asks him to.

Is it a mistake? Maybe. Does it make Tim forgive Dick for choosing Damian as his Robin? Definitely not. But it's very clearly not because he doesn't care, not because he's too busy to pay attention to Tim. It's an act of respect, of treating Tim as an equal who is capable of making his own decisions. In that way, it's showing his trust to Tim.

I have an entirely separate post on the subject of why Dick not believing Tim is narratively supported to make later (EDIT: posted here!), so I'm gonna go on a little Tim rant here instead. Because this post isn't long enough.

During this time, Tim is consistently begging for people to believe in him, while also refusing to play all his cards. The picture that started his hunch is never brought up. Frankly, I'm not sure that even if he did show it to everyone that people would believe him, but I think it's telling that he doesn't.

First, I kind of see it as Tim engaging in a "relationship test". They're the kind of thing that only people who are deeply insecure or in a bad place think to do- if I stop talking to all my friends, how long will it take people to notice? Who's going to notice that I'm upset without me saying anything, who really cares about me? If I share an insane theory, who is going to believe me point blank?

They're the kind of thing that is....not healthy in any way, shape, or form, and really aren't fair to the people you're testing. Sure, someone "passing" the test may show that they care for you (and, ultimately, the only person who believes Tim without reservation is Kon, once he comes back- and that unquestioning belief and loyalty is meaningful), but "failing" the test doesn't mean that they don't care. And they're ultimately a sort of self-sabotage, because you know that most people are going to fail because you know the test is unfair.

And that's exactly what it is: self-sabotage. As previously mentioned, Tim is massively self-isolating during this part of the arc, and pushing people away because they "don't believe him" is just one facet of that self-isolation. But he also doesn't try to get them to believe him, doesn't even give them that chance, because his ultimate goal is not to actually get anyone on his side, but to push everyone away. That's not to say that he secretly doesn't want people to believe him, but... he's acting mostly irrationally. He wants people to believe him but won't let them close enough to meaningfully give them the chance to do so.

Second, as much as Tim says that he's positive he's right and he's going to prove it, he's straight up lying, and he's actually not that sure at this point. And he's probably terrified that if he does show his proof, that someone will see it and still not believe him, and he'll have to face the fact that his only piece of evidence is extremely flimsy and that his conviction is based much more on grief than it actually is on logic.

So. Yeah, no one believes him. And that does suck, and it's a hit to him. But he didn't exactly give them a chance. He's preemptively cutting people out before they have a chance to hurt him or point out where he's wrong.

Tim is still a pitiable character here. He's a disaster and a wet puddle of a man who is living through the worst time in his entire life. But he's not a poor victim, scorned by his family and the world at large, thought to be crazy for no reason at all! Instead, he's (much more interestingly, imo) a kid dealing with his grief incredibly poorly, self-isolating and refusing every outstretched hand, clinging desperately on to his last hope that maybe his world hasn't changed as much as it seems like it has.

Blackest Night

Blackest Night is a huge crossover event that happened during the Red Robin run; technically speaking, you can skip it without missing anything in the plot of Red Robin, but it does have some good moments that highlight Tim's mental state and his relationship with Dick.

So, Tim leaves Gotham, but when Black Lantern Rings start bringing a bunch of people back from the dead in the form of zombies, including Dick and Tim's parents, Dick calls him back to Gotham. And Tim, looking at the decaying zombie corpse of his parents, is also arguing that he can save them.

When faced with an evil zombie that is trying to kill him, Tim still says "I can still fix this, I can save him". And Dick, as compassionately as ever, tries to talk sense into him. It's the exact same situation as with Bruce, but this time Tim is absolutely wrong.

And with this situation as a parallel, I think it's a lot clearer how unreasonable Tim's mental state is. He might seem like he's just a misunderstood genius in Bruce's case because he happened to be right, but the fact of the matter is, he's not thinking clearly. And he'd cling onto the same hopes even when he's wrong. With Bruce's case, he got lucky.

Also! This panel.

Even with all of this between them, Tim still answers Dick that he trusts him, with no hesitation. Of course.

Reconciliation

So, does Tim come back to Gotham, replaced and forgotten, and become isolated from the rest of the Bats?

Nope! There is, actually, a reconciliation of sorts between Dick and Tim. Admittedly, there is no scene where Dick outright says he's sorry, and Tim says he forgives him. But in my reading, there are interactions that serve a similar purpose, if you read between the lines.

After Tim finds proof of what's been going on with Batman, had a whole thing with the League and the Council of Spiders, and blown up a bunch of League bases, he returns to Gotham where Ra's is enacting a plan to get revenge for Tim acting against him: destroying Batman's legacy. Everything he loved and everything he built is in the crosshairs.

And when he's trying to figure out what Ra's is planning, he meets back up with Dick.

Tim is spewing crazy theories, and with absolutely no proof or explanation, he turns to Dick and asks him to trust him. And this time, Dick tells him, Of course. The fraction between them that preceded Tim's departure from Gotham is repeated, and this time Dick tells Tim he trusts him, and asks what he can do to help.

(This time, Dick does call Tim crazy, while he's muttering to himself. And then he chooses to trust him anyway.)

Granted, this is not an actual apology. But it feels like a second chance. One more bid for connection, and this time Dick meets him in the middle and reciprocates.

Anyway, since when do siblings actually verbally say "I'm sorry"?

And then... quick summary, in case you want the real details for the following events:

Ra's sends assassins after all the people Batman cares about to distract Tim from the fact that he's getting Hush (who is impersonating Bruce Wayne) to sign over Wayne Enterprises. But Tim wins because he finally stops self-isolating and gets his many friends to protect everyone who needs protecting while Tim faces off against Ra's. (Which is, ultimately, a climax of his character arc for this story- reaching out and trusting people again. Team up guy back in action!)

Tim's able to keep Ra's busy long enough that Lucius can file the paperwork to make him the majority shareholder of Wayne Enterprises, thwarting Ra's' attempt at a takeover. However, Ra's wins the fight, and Tim ends up plummeting to his death out of the window.

And then Dick catches him.

Later, Dick asks Tim how he could have planned for Dick to be there to save him.

And Tim says "You're my brother, Dick. You'll always be there for me."

This scene has been talked to death, because most people are at a consensus: this is a fucking lie. Tim didn't know that Dick would be there, and was fully prepared to die.

However! I'm not here to rehash this. I just want to add my take. It's a lie, but. Tim is a good liar. And every good liar knows that the best lies have a grain of truth in them.

I do believe that Tim didn't know that anyone would be there to save him. But I also believe that he fully means what he says here, that it's not just to placate Dick. Tim is telling Dick that he trusts him, that he believes in him, that they're brothers. It's forgiveness.

I could keep citing all the places where Tim shows an unconditional belief in Dick that happen after this arc, to prove that their relationship is truly mended after this and that they don't continue fighting, but that happens often enough that you could just read any comic including Tim and Dick and I'm sure Tim will say some fanboy shit eventually.

So, that's it! If you take nothing else from this post, take this at least: Tim and Dick LOVE each other, and they might fight, but they forgive each other, and if you try to talk shit about Dick Grayson, Tim will be one of the first to fight you, guaranteed. Suffice to say:

[lady-wallace]

Abbacchio Week Day 5: The Story in Your Eyes

For today's @abbacchioweek2024 fic I'm playing with my 1930s AU which up to this point has mostly been headcanons and some various art I've done. I think this might be the first time I've written first person for a character that was not an OC but tried to replicate a noir style narration for Abbacchio here. This AU is set in New York City

~~~~~~~

New York, 1932

It was a quiet night. A bit surprising, honestly, what with all the growing tensions between various gangs—one of which I had, perhaps foolishly, gotten myself embroiled with.

I lit up a cigarette as I stepped out of the restaurant I had come to frequent as of late. The back room had become a little too familiar to me, filled with smoke and discussion, broken up only by the asinine arguments of the young rips my new ‘business partner’ seemed intent on surrounding himself with.

I’d asked him once why he took in a bunch of kids who were more likely to shoot themselves in the foot than enforce protection in his territory and he’d told me firmly that they were good kids. Good kids. Heh. None of us were very good, but that was just what Bucciarati was like, seeing the best in people. He’d tried to do the same to me and I had promptly told him that he was being an idiot. Not that it stopped him, but he’s stubborn like that.

Still, I guess he wasn’t wrong. They weren’t bad kids, they’d just been dealt bad hands—much like the rest of us. Except that new Giovanna prick. I’d thought Fugo was a smug little shit when I first met him but he doesn’t hold a candle to the new blond-haired bastard Bucciarati had picked up. I wasn’t usually in the habit of questioning his judgement, but I was coming close with this one.

I exhaled a cloud of smoke into the night air before tucking my hand into my pocket. I wished for a moment that I hadn’t started attempting to replace my nightcap with a smoke to varying effect. I could really use one tonight.

Bucciarati had a good heart despite his chosen profession, and I knew he wanted change as much as the rest of us did. But I just got the feeling in my soul that Giovanna and his grand ideas were going to cause trouble one of these days—with the certainty that I would somehow be dragged along with it.

I wasn’t entirely wrong, if not slightly mistaken in my original judgement. If anything, Giorno Giovanna was a harbinger with an angel’s countenance, heralding the devil close on our heels. Because it was that night, about a week after Giovanna joined Bucciarati’s team that she showed up.

She was waiting in my office when I got back after the meeting. I never locked the door in case a client needed to get inside—all my important paperwork was hidden in the back of my closet in my apartment and I had been grateful for my constant paranoia on more than one occassion.

She was young, that was the first thing I noticed, couldn’t be older than sixteen and her clothing was expensive and well put together; a gold and emerald necklace around her neck that I could tell even in the dim lighting wasn’t paste.

But it was her eyes that struck me most of all. As emerald as the stone around her neck holding a look of desperation and fear that would have caught the attention of Bucciarati a mile away. She was in some kind of trouble—the bad kind. She wasn’t one of my usual clients who came to me about stolen possessions or a cheating lover. She was terrified, running from something, and I thought for a moment that I should send her out the door before she could tell me what it was.

But she spoke up, voice firm, with a tremor that only one as trained in human mannerisms as I am could detect. “Are you…Mr. Abbacchio?”

“I am,” I replied, in a little bit of defeat. “What can I do for you, sweetheart?”

She shifted, uncomfortable, worrying her gloved hands in her lap. “Mr. Abbacchio, I hope I can trust you to be discreet?”

I pulled my overcoat off and sat down in my chair across the desk from her, tucking a new cigarette between my lips as I reached for my lighter. “I have no one to tell, miss. Not even a secretary to pry into your business.”

Her shoulders relaxed slightly but her hands still twisted in her lap. “Mr. Abbacchio…I believe that my father… is trying to kill me.”

I pause briefly in my movements, before I collect myself again and flick my lighter into life, inhaling deeply as the cigarette tip glows red. “That’s quite the accusation. Do you have any proof of that?”

“I have no physical proof but I…I heard him over the phone today, telling someone that…that he wanted me…taken care of.”

She was shaking. I got up slowly to pull the bottle of brandy out of my file cabinet. I poured some into a glass and headed around the desk to press it into her hands. “Are you sure that was the intent?”

She nodded firmly. “I’m positive. I believe the man on the other end of the line asked the same thing and my father said, ‘no, I want her dead. I want… to be sure.’” She was shaking so hard now she could barely hold the glass as she brought it to her lips, taking a bracing drink.

I leaned back on the desk, arms folded over my chest. “Who is your father?”

She looked down, still shaking. “You’re just a private detective, right?” she asked. “You’re not…affiliated with anyone?”

“I work for myself,” Abbacchio said, wondering if he could count Bucciarati as an ‘affiliation’ and decided that explanation would complicate things. At the end of the day Bucciarati and his gang were my clients, not my co-workers. “If I may ask, why exactly are you concerned about that?”

“Because,” she whispered. “My father…is a very powerful man.”

I nodded. “I gathered as much from your appearance.”

She looked down, hugging her coat closer to her. She had probably put on her least fancy dress to come here thinking she could hide. I felt another wave of pity for her, she was just a kid, after all. A terrified kid.

“What’s his name, sweetheart?”

She shook her head. “His name means nothing. You wouldn’t know him by that. No one does.”

I felt unease run through me as I bent to meet her eyes. “Who is he?”

She let out a half sob. “He—he’s the head of the mafia branch—Passione. The Boss. Don Diavolo. He named himself after the devil, Mr. Abbacchio. That’s the kind of man he is.”

I was still processing the information when her eyes finally snapped up to me with a new look of desperation. “His men are looking for me and they want to kill me. I don’t have anywhere to go, please, Mr. Abbacchio, please help me!”

The tears in her eyes had me pulling out a handkerchief, handing it over.

“I can’t,” I told her simply. I knew I was sealing my fate, whatever that may be, as she looked up at me in shock and hopelessness and I continued. “But…I know someone who can.”

[gate4043]

This was the first outfit I wore out of the house.

I was terrified. Wearing an old blue shirt I've had for years that was kinda girly but you can't really see it, it was more for me and for my confidence, a black pinafore dress, stockings, and you can't see them but just my white cheap kmart sneakers. I was also wearing breast forms (I think D cup ones) I'd bought off amazon and a shitty Bonds bra that had managed to keep them in place. I hadn't shaved my arms in a while, so I was afraid to take off the jacket. You can't see it, but my bald spot had gotten really bad, which I thankfully didn't notice until I got home.

It was a Saturday. My mum and stepdad would get back from holiday the next day, so I only had that day to do it. But it was late in the day by the time I'd actually mustered up the courage and put together an outfit. My car was parked out on the lawn, and our neighbours talked a lot with my parents and the neighbour across the street was pretty nosey and watched us a lot. I had zipped up my jacket and put on a pair of jeans so that I could drive my car into the driveway, go back inside and take my pants off, then hop back in the car and go to the only shop that was open at 9:30 something on a Saturday that people wouldn't recognise me at.

It did go wrong a little. The part of the garage that opens up to the back was a little ajar, which meant the dog ran through and out into the front yard. I panicked, pulled back into the driveway, and then ran around to the front door and desperately called him in.

I drove to the shop panicking the entire time. It was amazing, and it was scary as shit to be doing it, I assuredly accidentally broke some traffic rules out of sheer nervousness. Rolled up to the shop. Worst experience I've ever had out in public. Everyone stared. Got called a freak by a passerby whispering under his breath, to this day that's the only time that's ever fucking happened. Got inside, bunch of stares and misgendering from old cis white dudes, and everyone else in the shop was actually really lovely. Clocked the checkout as kinda queer, they were super nice about everything, headed home, freaked the fuck out.

Here I am fourteen months later in May of this year

So that's just under six months on E at the time. Went out to a friend's first year E anniversary, it was wild, there were multiple people being held by their partners with leads, there was a person in crazy makeup and a top hat and boot heels and they explained to me where they got their hat, I got to sit in a cute girl's lap and snuggle, it was great.

I wanna talk about confidence

When I was in the closet, when I was finally starting to come out, I was doing a lot more than I'd ever done before. I'd gotten clothes from my brother's fiancée, then girlfriend, which fit me, and I'd dress up around the house and run around with the lights off upstairs because the neighbours on both the front and back of the house could see through into ours and again, they talked. All it would have taken is one dickhead blabbing and suddenly a shitstorm would've broke loose.

I have an awkward body for transitioning. What's worse, I could've prevented it because I've known I was trans for that long. Shoes won't fit me, don't even bother trying, my feet are fucking massive, even for guys. My shoulders are just wide. I know the jacket didn't help, but believe me, it wasn't as thick as it looks. I have a serious body hair problem which I hope to all fuck will get sorted out in some way with hormones, but I expect before long I'll be getting full body electrolysis, damn the expense.

This is why I'm showing this stuff, is because I was not confident, I was not the kind of trans person who posts a bunch of pictures of themselves to the internet and I'm still not that and I don't think I'll ever be that. Right now it's almost 2 AM, I haven't shaved all day, the toilet's clogged and I didn't want to sit down in the water so I was forced to stand up to pee because I was busting which made me feel dysphoric and gave me impostor syndrome at the same time and I have work tomorrow. But I know seeing a trans person I can relate to helps me whenever I'm feeling down, and I felt like sharing this.

It's okay to be a mess of a person, you don't have to be like the really fucking beautiful people I see on the internet all the time. You can be a goblin that struggles to achieve humanity, let alone gender presentation, and that doesn't change who you are on the inside and that doesn't mean that you can't do everything you wanna do and be everything you wanna be. Don't let it discourage you, you're awesome. You're always gonna be awesome. G'night.

[kimkat0500]

Alaris - "Look at the high-waisted man, he's got feminine hips." "and I said "No," y'know, like a liar." "I will start with the fact that I am homeless, as that is a given. Then for backstory I will pepper in the fact that I am gay." "Ah, numbers... The letters of math." "When he was holding back the gay part, he did some of his best work." I went to college, I was 18 years old, I looked like I was 11. I lived like a goddamn Ninja Turtle. I didn't drink water the entire time." "I get that mom, but why don't we just tell our relatives that I'm a four-year-old boy..."

Sasha - "Can I please go home? (No! In fact, we're gonna frame you for murder!)" "Sometimes babies will point at me and I don't care for that shit at all." "And my brother was like "Hah, that's great!" *imitates gunshot noise*" "Here goes nothing, "Ya ever seen a ghost?""

Natalie - "I grabbed it, drank all of it, and said "It's perfume."" "I am very small, and I have no money, so you can imagine the kind of stress that I am under." "I made a salad with Craisins!" "Give us some money!" "You're supposed to say "May I please have a Diet Coke please," and then maybe you would get one." "If you think this story ends with me being like "Absolutely Not," you're about to be so disappointed!"

Ella - "(And my girlfriend would just be like:) Let's see if Southwest has any flights." "Nah, nah, nah, you're not gettin' me to no secondary location!" "I'm allowed to make fun of my wife, I asked her and she said yes."

Rowen - "It was really easy to get away with murder before they knew about DNA." "He grabbed a 40, smashed it on the ground, and yelled "Scatter!"" "Eat ass, suck a dick, and sell drugs." "Hey, do you want me to kill that guy for you? 'Cause it sounds like he sucks and I will totally kill that guy for you." "I was two hours late for my intervention- I didn't know people were waiting on me!" "I'm like the great Rasputin, they cannot bring me to my knees."

Kara - "When I was a kid I used to watch "America's Most Wanted, as kids do, and I would always be like "How could a human being kill another human being?"" "You have your law practice, and me? I have all these fuckin' markers." "Ever been to the goddamn zoo?" "There's a horse, loose in the hospital! (literally)"

Thea - "And in a brilliant moment of word association, I yelled, "Fuck Da Police!"" "Because you're never too young to learn our national "No Snitching" policy." "I'm definitely never gonna be president. Not unless everyone gets real cool about a bunch of stuff really quickly." "I was the best-looking person at my intervention, by a mile." "Has there been [an insurrection] since I got out? No, they wouldn't dare. They know Baby J is back on the streets."

Alvar - "You could pour soup in my lap and I'll probably apologize to you." "You want my money? *mimics throwing* Go get it! Then you run the other direction!" "Have you ever seen old film from the past of people just waving at a ship? What if I called you now to do that?" "When I was three years old, I thought Miss America was the Statue of Liberty."

Riina - "13-year-olds are the meanest people in the world. They terrify me to this day." "They'd be like "Governor, what's your favorite food?" and he'd be like "I don't know, fries."" "I need everybody, all day long, to like me so much. It's exhausting." "So I go in and I sit down and I go "Hi, I'm John M..." and they stare at me like "Why are you holding for applause?""

Siral - "He ordered one black coffee, for himself, and kept driving." "And without looking up at me, he said "You have the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair."" "So let me ask you this... In Nazi Germany- [...] How are you better than a Nazi?" "Time for Street Smarts with Detective J.J. Bittenbinder! Shut up, you're all gonna die! Street Smarts!" "Well, that was 7-year-old John Mulaney, currently being sued for police brutality." "I don't care for these new Nazis, and you may quote me on that." "Oh, those old winter coats! You know that phenomenon."

Delos - "I was once on the telephone with blockbuster video (which is a very old-fashioned sentence)." "And he was wearing reading glasses to show that time had passed." "What is college? *stammering* Stop going until we figure it out!" "Everything was slower back in the old days because they didn't have enough to do, so they slowed things down to fill the time."

Zarton - "I'll keep all my emotions right here and then one day, I'll die." "I also don't want me to be doing what I'm doing. I don't like that I'm in that lane either and I sure would like to get out of it." "Brush your teeth! Now, Boom! Orange juice. That's life." "There's a horse, loose in the hospital! (metaphorically)"

Tag your OC as a John Mulaney quote

[tucsonhorseunmasking]

I really love my dog and want to talk about her a bunch so I'm calling it part of unmasking because I'm letting myself talk about something that makes me happy and I want to talk about instead of trying to suppress that.

Here's some pictures first to show you how adorable she is

In the first one she looked like she was being absorbed into the couch 😆. And she loves snuggles and is also extremely silly, but is very definite about bed time and was very sad that I wasn't kicking guests out and putting her to bed. In the last one she was having a great time rolling in mud, she did not realize that meant she'd get a bath when we got home...

Okay, more ramblies under a cut

Her name is Tammy and she is a pitbull that we got from a shelter. She is the absolute sweetest, most lovingest dog (as long as you're a human, other animals she seems to see as prey) and is a total silly goofball.

She's also reactive, in multiple ways. The biggest one is that she's dog reactive and will absolutely flip shit if she gets too close to another dog. Her body language at those times is hard to read cause she's clearly eager to get to them and looks excited rather than like angry, but that's the same way she looks when she chases after rabbits and stuff in the back yard so we don't know if she views other dogs as prey and don't take the chance.

She also gets wound up really easily if there's a lot of activity like lots of noises, or new people, or cars driving by, that sort of thing. And she has a really hard time calming down on her own once she does get wound up.

But even with all of that! And what we suspect was a good amount of physical abuse before she was at the shelter, she is the sweetest dog ever!

She wants nothing more than to spend all of her time with people, especially with any people she is familiar with, but she will happily make anyone one of "her" people if they give her attention. She loves to run around and play, but even more she loves to be petted and to

Snuggle

She will even demand snuggles if she doesn't feel she has gotten enough by whining and being so sad until someone finally sits on the couch and she can pin them 🤣.

And she is militant about bed time! My husband usually puts her to bed between 9 and 9:30 (I'm more of a night owl), but she's perfectly happy to go to bed as early as 8. Bedtime absolutely *cannot* be past 9:30 though.

You know it's bed time because she wants to go out and potty, and then she comes in and goes right to the top of the stairs (she sleeps in the basement) and looks expectantly at you. If you don't take her downstairs right away she'll walk over to you, then back to the stairs a couple times. If you still refuse to cooperate she'll go lay down on her bed and give you the

Saddest eyes ever

Making it very clear that she is suffering horribly. Then after about 5 minutes she asks to go out again and repeats the process. If by this point you still don't get the hint she gives up and resigns herself to repeated deeeep sighs to tell you how difficult you are making her life.

See what I mean about silly?

And if someone is feeling crappy, she gets very worried and sticks right by them. If someone is crying she absolutely *insists* on climbing into their lap and licking their face. I had a friend over one time who was having a really terrible day and no matter what we did, including me trying to bodily hold Tammy back, she would climb over or under or wriggle around until she could get into my friend's lap to lick her face and make her better.

One time I was having a pretty big meltdown, and I was pacing a bunch and then burying my face into a blanket and just generally losing control. And at first Tammy tried to get at my face to do her usual licking (which pretty much always makes me laugh) but I was freaking out too much and she finally gave up and just lay on the couch as close to me as she could get, watching me. And when I'd get up and pace she'd keep a close eye on me. And when I finally calmed down some she crawled into my lap and just snuggled right up to me.

She's a rescue, and we can see scars on the sides of her paws indicating some pretty solid injuries there, though we don't know the cause. She also reeeeally doesn't like her paws touched, she gets really anxious about it. In general we let her have her space and that has earned her trust enough that we are able to touch and hold her paws somewhat without her protesting.

Early on after we got her I was trying to get her acclimated to me holding her paws in an attempt to work up to clipping her nails. I didn't know what I was doing so I'd basically just hold her paw as long as I could (this isn't the right way to do it), which ended up with me learning her very extended warning sequence when she wants you to stop something before she gets to biting.

She starts with licking your hand very insistently. Then if that doesn't work she sets the side of her muzzle against your hand. If you still won't listen she'll pull her lip up a bit so the side of her closed teeth are touching your hand. Then if you *still* won't listen she'll open her jaws and gently set the teeth against your hand.

This dog. This absolutely sweet, amazing dog who clearly has reason to have no patience and jumps right to trying to scare/hurt someone has instead developed a multi-step process to try and tell the apparently oblivious human to "Stop Doing That".

And she'll use this process if you're touching other places too. She only has 3 legs, having lost one due to an unfortunate accident. The accident happened after we had adopted her, and there were various times in the process that we had to touch on or around some sore spots that she was understandably very protective of. And she would use the same process to tell us she had had enough of our prodding. Sometimes I would ignore her licking, but anything past that I'd leave her alone. And that got her trust enough that even still she'll let me touch and poke at sore spots a little bit before she lets me know to stop.

We don't deserve dogs, especially sweethearts like Tammy.

And if you've made it this far (unlikely), have some dog pics as a reward

[casspurrjoybell-33]

Wreckless - Thank Me?

*Warning Adult Content*

Emmett Locke

I'm beyond thrilled and relieved that Finnegan likes the place so much, especially his playroom.

He can change things, of course but at least he has something to work with now.

He's finally in there and rummaging, that's the only way I can describe it. I've seen people mosey around museums much faster.

"Emmett?"

"Yeah, darling?"

"Can we invite Rhys sometime?"

If he likes it enough to show Rhys, he really does love it.

That makes me smile like a doofus. A tired doofus.

"Of course but not this weekend though... I'm wiped."

I may not have worked at Wrecked this week but let me tell you, I worked my ass off.

"No, no, we need quiet time and I love Rhys but he is NOT quiet," he says seriously, his hands on his hips.

"No, no he's not."

And neither are you when you're with him.

"Your class starts Monday?"

"Yeah."

It still feels sort of unreal, all of it.

Never in my wildest dreams did I think I'd get accepted and even once I did there was no way I could envision myself actually going.

I'll probably be in a class with a bunch of eighteen-year-olds but the speakers and teachers are fantastic so that's all I care about.

That and the exhibit.

I'm petrified just thinking about it but I know I can use some of my old stuff and then I have to submit something new.

I know the outline and the basics which helps but I'm still worrying myself stupid over it.

"I hope you have a great time and learn all sorts of things. Wait, did you do your dark room?"

"Just some basics, a few tables and a chair I didn't need. I'm actually hoping to learn a lot about development next week so I'll set it all up after."

"So smart."

I don't want to mess with his little head-space but he seems sort of in-between right now.

"Sometime this weekend you'll have to let me know how your day was."

"The time with you has been amazing. Away from you sucked hairy monkey balls."

That's... oddly specific.

"I'm sorry. Anything I can do?"

"Other than come to work with me?" he teases.

At least I hope he's teasing.

"Can you solve my production manager issues? I need to be running two shifts to have any hope of meeting my DoD deadline and... wait, can we go upstairs?"

Definitely not a play-room discussion.

"After you."

We plop onto the sectional which is my favorite thing in the world right now and I pull his feet onto my lap.

"Tell me what's going on."

Ten minutes later I regret asking.

Well, only a little. I regret asking because I feel like I have a good idea but it's so out of my realm and I only know what he's told me that it may be a bit like being drunk.

It sounds really good to me but that doesn't mean much.

"What are you thinking?"

"I shouldn't butt my nose into your business, darling."

"Then why did I bother telling you all that? I'm lightheaded. Seriously, if you have an idea, please feel free to toss it out there."

"It's probably stupid and I get that I don't have all the pieces but it sounds like he has lots to do. Maybe you need a floor manager to handle the shifts and personnel issues so that the production manager can just handle all that crazy machinery that I don't understand."

Honestly though, I'd love to see it.

I love machines and maybe I'll ask for a tour sometime.

He's thinking. I know he's thinking because his tongue is sticking out just a bit.

"He needs a Megan. You're telling me he needs help and you're right, Emmett. We've never done it that way but this is two shifts and I guess it's asking a lot for him to be on call or working sixteen hours a day."

"In America, yes. Unless he's a doctor, firefighter or soldier of course."

And parents, they get run ragged.

"Thank you, Emmett, that helps a lot, actually. Okay, that will wait till Monday. We have two days and you've done so much with the house that, well I was planning on unpacking boxes and moving shit most of the weekend but it's unbelievable, really."

He's about to be disappointed.

"It is far from done."

We could spend an hour on the bathroom tonight and he'd probably need two in his closet. Minimum.

But the bed is made and there's food in the house so it's habitable.

"Do you know where the lube and toys are and can we shower?"

'Um.'

"Yes, yes and yes."

'I think. Yeah. Probably.'

"I don't wanna leave till Monday morning. I'm gonna relax and help you finish the house and spend some time in the basement."

He's gonna fall into little space... I know he is, so I need to ask the important stuff tonight.

"I put your meds in the bathroom but I'm hoping you won't need them much longer."

"I'll stop the anxiety one but I'm gonna take one more sleeping pill tonight... it's hard to sleep in a new house. But hopefully tomorrow will be fine."

He stands up and raises his arms and then yells...

"I love this house," before turning towards me.

"And I love you, Emmett. So much. Thank you for this."

Thank me? I... I can't help but sigh.

He means it though, he will never see this the same way I do.

"I love you too, darling."

[racingliners]

F1 Re-Watch 2013: Round 9 - Germany

You have no idea how excited I've been to get to this race on my season watch through. Germany 2013 was Seb's first and only German GP win and frankly I'm very surprised that I'd never watched it before now.

This was also the second to last F1 race to be held at the Nürburgring (the last being the Eifel GP in 2020), and I'm ngl I likely picked it over Hockenheim to host the German GP in Life In The Fast Lane because of this race 😅

So this live blog post will likely go off the rails when the sebfucker meltdown kicks in, but for now let's jump in!

Honestly, for me this race onwards is likely going to be my favourite part of my 2013 watch through. Seb winning at home, then Lewis in Hungary, then Seb winning all the races from Belgium to Brazil. 11/10 would recommend to a friend on TripAdvisor.

Anyway, let's jump into the starting grid:

Lewis pole, he had a decent amount of them in 2013 given that fact that the car wasn't quite up to scratch (#JustLewisThings), Seb P2 🥰, Dan P6!!!!, The Ferrari's in 7th and 8th?! (??????), Jenson P9!!!! It could have been worse!!

oh it did, Jev in P16 😭

This is why I call it starting grid whiplash.

Helmet watch: Seb's helmet for this race was *chef's kiss* so good.

the metallic gold and matte black with the German flag stripe hidden in the gold. JMD Helmets superiority.

[Formation Lap]: Mediums and Softs the compounds for this race.

Apparently Lewis had a bunch of mechanical problems on his car right before the race. Good grief.

also also the giant Seb banner in the grandstand 😭😭😭😭

Cut to a very nervous looking Merc garage

[Start/Lap 1]: SEB TAKES THE LEAD AT TURN ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I LOVE F1!!!!!!!!

ngl I was that overjoyed I haven't paid much attention to the first lap, gosh I've missed that feeling of Seb taking the lead 😭

Webber went from 3rd to second, so Seb, Webber and Lewis make up the Top 3

[Lap 2]: Perez going down the inside of Jenson into turn 1

Both Lotus' are in 4th and 5th

the replay of the start >>>>>>>>

[Lap 4]: oh someone spun in the background of the shot.

ah it was Massa

the car's not moving????

it's right on the run off at turn 1 so that should be a SC

I will say watching races that happened before the introduction of the Virtual Safety Car is quite unnerving in situations like this.

[Lap 5]: Not Force India with an unsafe release, Di Resta almost drove right into Jev 😭

also wild for people to be making their first stops this early and it to be legit

[Lap 6]: oh god they're investigating the unsafe release after the race aefjeihfe clown show stewarding once again

[Lap 7]: anyway Lewis pits for his first stop, softs off for mediums. He comes out in 10th.

[Lap 8]: and in comes Seb, also softs for mediums

and he comes out ahead of Lewis!!

Red Bull did have a quicker stop, which definitely helped

and interestingly they've come out behind cars that started on the mediums, so they're going to have to do some on-track passes early on

[Lap 9]: oh shit one of the tyres came off Webber's car and hit a cameraman.

what the actual fuck

the cameraman's being tended to by Merc mechanics and FIA medical staff, thank goodness.

[Lap 10]: And Lewis gets past Raikkonen for 7th

[Lap 11]: and Seb overtakes Jenson for P3

oh god. Lewis is behind Nico Rosberg. my eye is twitching.

I know this was before 2016, but watching this after the 2016 season is... yeah... I'm having anxiety.

[Lap 12]: There's been a team radio call for Nico to let Lewis by but I'm still feeling dread at seeing them be one behind the other.

[Lap 13]: Meanwhile there's a Lotus right behind Lewis waiting for an opportunity to get past.

...oh my days Nico let him past

[Lap 14]: So Grosjean pits, Seb retakes the lead, and Romain comes out in net P2, since Jenson ahead still has to stop

oh phew Lewis is finally past Rosberg, he's in P5

Grosjean passes Jenson on track for P2

[Lap 16]: The Lotus' are so quick, may be due to the high track temps suiting them

and Rosberg is finally called into the pits

[Lap 17]: What is a polar bear (Hulkenberg in a Sauber] doing in Arlington, Texas?! (P4)

I'd guess he hasn't stopped yet????

ah, he is indeed still to stop, thank you well timed TV graphic

[Lap 18]: and in he pits, Lewis into P4

"I have no grip man, these tyres are not holding together" something Bono Lewis' tyres are gone something

[Lap 19]: Oh Alonso's in P6, though probably P5 soon given how Merc are not having good tyre wear

Meanwhile Jenson is still to stop, though I think he started on Mediums (this was the days when people wouldn't run laps in Q3 to start on a fresh set of tyres)

[Lap 21]: aw yeah Lewis v Alonso battle 🍿

the pair of them providing the in-race entertainment since 2007

(however you feel about either of them, the battles between them are always so good)

[Lap 22]: Jenson finally pits

but back to Lewis v Fernando, Lewis' defending is >>>>>>>

"I'm pushing man I'm pushing!" ajkfvbjfvbd let Lewis cook!!!

[Lap 23]: oh, Lewis is back into the pits. Merc have moved him onto the 3 stop. He's onto another set of mediums.

so he was pushing bc it was an in lap, ignore me 😅

it was still a great battle though

And there's a Marussia with a big plume of smoke.... and catching fire. oh dear.

... now it's rolling down the hill backwards.

Oh so now they bring out the Safety Car.

[Lap 25]: Seb pits for fresh mediums

as do the Lotus pair, and Alonso

...and just about every car in the field 😅

Seb is still in the lead however 🙌

So the top 10 is: Seb, Grosjean, Raikkonen, Alonso, Jenson, Hulkenberg, Lewis, Maldonado, Perez and Sutil

[Lap 26]: It feels very on brand for Seb's first/only home race win is a race that's fine for him but very chaotic for everyone else. See Germany 2019 for further chaos.

Jev had a hydraulic failure?????? WHY????? 😭😭😭

also the cameraman from the pitlane incident is fine, and Webber is still in the race, but in plum last.

[Lap 28]: random garage and pit wall shots while the SC trundles round

[Lap 29]: and SC in at the end of the lap

time for ✨Safety Car restart anxiety✨

and off Seb goes!!

phew

[Lap 30]: How are we only at half-distance, I feel like I've watched a full race with everything that's gone on

(thought that might be bc my parents are watching Quantum of Solace on the TV and I keep getting distracted, ANYWAY)

[Lap 32]: a Lotus v Lotus battle you say? 👀

meanwhile Seb is already a second ahead of P2

[Lap 34]: and now Hulkenberg v Lewis for P6

[Lap 35]: oh damn both Lotus' have managed to catch up to Seb all of a sudden

like they're in DRS range and everything

Seb's still in the lead with about a half-second gap over Grosjean, who has 6-7 tenths over Raikkonen

[Lap 36]: The Lotus' are definitely fast

okay according Ted Seb either has a brake problem or a KERS problem based on radio messages, that would explain a bit

[Lap 37]: Lewis still can't get past Hulkenberg, even though he's the quicker car

[Lap 38]: nevermind, in comes Hulkenberg to the pits

[Lap 39]: Button watch: he still needs to make his second stop

Seb's gap over Grosjean is back to being just over a second

[Lap 40]: Hulkenberg fastest lap??????

this race has been surprisingly all over the place

[Lap 42]: Seb pits for the third time, Grosjean pitted the lap before

but Seb comes out ahead! He's in 5th

So Raikkonen leads from Alonso, Jenson and Lewis.

I'm guessing they all need to stop again? Jenson def does bc he hasn't ran the softs yet

It's funny watching this knowing who wins, but not how it happens.

[Lap 44]: very fittingly given the lap number, we have a Lewis and Seb battle for P4!!

(also carrying F1's in-race entertainment since 2007)

[Lap 45]: Seb almost get's the move done round the outside of turn 1, but Lewis juuuust edges it, but Seb eventually takes P4 in the arena section

🚨15 laps left klaxon🚨

[Lap 46]: Lewis makes his 3rd and hopefully final stop

Top 5 now Raikkonen, Alonso, Jenson, Seb and Grosjean (Jenson's still to make his second stop for softs)

Starting to wonder if someone on the McLaren pit wall accidentally had a mid-race nap in the motorhome

[Lap 47]: Seb's closing up to the top 3, and he's about 15 seconds behind Raikkonen

[Lap 48]: Jenson finally pits!!! he comes out in 6th

and cut to a dancing donkey toy on the Renault engineer's desk in the Lotus garage. #JustF1Things

It's worth noting though, for anyone who hasn't seen any races from 2013, that the first half of the season was very different to the second when Seb won every race. Seb and Red Bull only won 4 races in the first half of 2013, Mercedes won 3, Ferrari won 2 and Lotus won the first race in Australia. the 2013 grid was competitive to a degree. Seb just was in bastard mode for the second half of the season.

[Lap 50]: Live Ted Reaction to Raikkonen pitting for softs, as does Alonso.

So Seb is back in the lead!! 🥳

"Stunning pace from Jenson Button" inject Lap 50 from Germany 2013 into my veins

[Lap 51]: Lewis into P7!

And Jenson overtakes Perez after stopping, he's in 5th.

Once again, like the last few laps of Silverstone, everything is happening

Raikkonen is half a second faster than Seb. shit.

ah he's on softs while Seb is on mediums. That explains a part of it.

[Lap 52]: Grosjean been given team orders to not hold Raikkonen up 😬

Maybe I need to rescind my earlier comment about Seb driving off into the distance while shit happens behind him.

[Lap 54]: Okay Seb is roughly 2 seconds ahead of Grosjean

this is way more intense than I thought it would be dbhvudbhsuh

[Lap 55]: and with the help of some team orders Raikkonen gets past Grosjean (believe it or not, he was still seen as a championship contender in this part of the season)

Now for goodness sake Seb go fast

[Lap 56]: 🚨5 laps remaining klaxon🚨

Replay of Lewis getting past Perez for P6

[Lap 57]: Cut to Alonso P4, I had somewhat forgotten about him ngl

he's just kind of been... there I guess

[Lap 58]: 1.6 seconds gap between Seb and Raikkonen, stress

Lewis is also under 4 seconds behind Jenson and catching

F1 DRAMA!

oh god Raikkonen's half a second quicker than Seb

I know that Seb wins... and yet I'm anxious

[Lap 59]: 1.2 second gap...

and Lewis is 1.9 behind Jenson

Sewis are Sewising

[Lap 60]: LAST LAP

cut to Lewis getting P5!!

and cut back to Seb who's 8 tenths ahead of Raikkonen

[Finish]: SEB WINS THE GERMAN GP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

my GOD that was stressful

BUT IT WAS WORTH IT!!!!

idk if I would have preferred a lights to flag win but gosh, Seb's radio made me all kinds of weepy 😭

also the first German driver to win the German GP, THAT'S MY BOYYYYYYY!!!!!!

and his 30th career win 🥹

rest of the top 10 were: Raikkonen, Grosjean, Alonso, Hamilton, Jenson, Webber, Perez, Rosberg & Hulkenberg

WHEW. That was a race. A bit of a slow burner, but the last 10 laps were mad. And seeing Seb win his home race is just 🥹

Next up - Hungary!